#but sometimes the findings need to be documented
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Kinktober day 30
Bruce Wayne + Roleplay
This was supposed to be a Bruce and a “paparazzi” reader situation, but I couldn’t be assed to write it. So have some good ol, ceo and assistant roleplay, but with a twist. What if BRUCE, was the assistant?
I almost put Bruce in a skirt in this, but contained myself, youll have to enjoy him in sock suspender instead.
Kinktober 2024 masterlist
It wasn’t every day that Bruce got to enjoy himself like this. Where he got to hang up the cowl and act out a whole scene with his lover and not be interrupted. The cowl wasn’t far away, it never was, but it was at least put away inside the closet on the other side of the room, beside your own hero suit.
Had he been the airheaded billionaire that the public thought he was, Bruce might have been bold enough to act out these fantasies in his own office at WE, but even Bruce wasn’t that dumb. In the end, the two of you just set up one of the many normally forgotten offices at the manor, far enough from the rest of the so-called bat clan to get some privacy.
You had made a comment once upon a time that maybe the reason Bruce liked to be the assistant, the nurse, the maid, so on and so forth, was because he always craved control during his everyday life. Which resulted in him wanting to give up the power to you, in a controlled discussed manner. You may have been right, but it wasn’t as if Bruce would verbalize that.
When you two had the time, you pulled on one of the many expensive tailored suits Bruce had gotten for you over the years, styling your hair in the most stereotypical CEO style you could find on pinterest, even pulling on one of Bruces expensive watches to complete the look.
Whenever he wanted to be the assistant, Bruce pulled a look that always had you thinking about Clark for just a split second. It wasn’t in an attracted to Clark type of way, more just a small thought about how similar they looked, as Bruce gave himself a hairstyle that made him look like a true sweetheart and put on fake glasses to match the cheaper suit he wore.
The roles were what made it so good, to see Bruce stumble over nothing and drop “important documents” all over the floor as you sat back and glared like a CEO from a trashy romance novel as Bruce got onto his knees to try and pick it all up again.
Of course, Bruce always made sure to turn his ass towards you as he “struggled” to pick up all the documents, pushing them around on the floor as he arched his back and spluttered apologies, his hips wiggling from side to side as he reached and arched.
You would spit comments and sneer at your “clumsy assistant”, sending him on tasks that he would mess up until you needed to punish him for it. Bruce always whined and apologized with a shaky high-pitched tone as you bent him over your desk, pulling his cheap slacks down with little care.
His whines and gasps were like music as you turned his behind and thighs rest. Sometimes you used your palm, other times a ruler, your belt, or whatever else you two had agreed to use. Seeing your usual gruff and serious lover so flushed and keening was like a drug in your system, only making you lay into him even harder until Bruce was coating the desk in his spend.
When this happened, you would tsk and coo mockingly at him as you pulled his slacks fully off his legs, leaving him in his button-up, socks and sock suspenders. Even after all these years, your lover was still so flexible, allowing you to pull one of his legs up onto the desk to give you easy access.
Bruce would whine and moan so prettily as he tried to rock back against you, the fake glasses having fallen off with a clatter at an extra hard thrust that would have had him skittering across the desk, if you hadn’t gripped onto his strong thighs and wrenched him back against you.
It was only good enough when you had him spilling tears from pleasure, his voice melting from the fake pitch he used as your so-called assistant, into his true overstimulated voice. You knew that acting sometimes was what he needed, but getting him to spill enough times to turn into a loose limbed loving mess was almost more satisfying for you.
You always made sure you pull off most of your “costume”, even if it was just clothes you guys already owned, before you got to work taking care of Bruce. You had to wipe him down, giving him lots of love and kisses, before putting him into a prepared bath.
After that you spent a little too long cleaning up the office, just so poor Alfred wouldn’t have to do it, before you could return to Bruce and bring him to bed. He was always so nice and pliant after scenes like this, where he didn’t have to be Batman, Brucie or even Bruce, and that was all you wanted, for him to be happy and satisfied.
#male reader#bruce wayne#batman#dc#justice league#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne headcanon#bruce wayne x male reader#batman imagine#batman headcanon#batman x male reader#batman x reader#dc imagine#dc headcanon#dc x male reader#dc x reader#justice league x reader#justice league x male reader#justice league imagine#justice league headcanon
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Mushroom Vision
I am going to attempt explaining how there is an entire vast segment of environmental storytelling in Elden Ring that is going unremarked upon. It isn't just about mushrooms. But that's where I first took notice, so that's where I will start in this post.
The above is the view from a mushroom on the entry ramp to Raya Lucaria, just above where the merchant is sitting. This was maybe my 3rd or 4th random stop back when I decided to appreciate the scenery from the point of view of the mushroom (for fun!). It is an example of perfect framing for elements in the far distance:
The North Liurnia Minor Erdtree
The Church of Vows
The Erdtree
But really, it's "perfect" framing of only the Erdtrees - the Church of Vows is blocked from view and hidden by a stone pillar with a quatrefoil symbol on it. This is a noticeable trend at many mushroom spots - it would be a great view...except there is a nearby tree or a piece of stone exactly in front of one element in the far distance. The perspectives seen from these mushrooms are missing the full picture. Rotating to the left on top of the same mushroom, there is also a perfectly clear view of the Bellum Gate in front of Mt. Gelmir.
Setting the scene a bit more, the ramp is heavily forested, populated by 4 packs of wolves (numbering 3, 3, 3, and 5 including the white wolf in the group lowest down the ramp), then the Isolated Merchant, a Trina's Lily, a corpse with 2 strips of white flesh, and right inside the impassible gate is a Bloodhound Knight guarding a corpse holding Celestial Dew. The sealed entry to the ramp is looking directly towards the Cathedral of Manus Celes.
Also, there is a second mushroom on the bridge which has a view of the Church of Vows restored, but instead this one is blocked from viewing Mt. Gelmir. The Church of Vows is directly aligned with Morgott/Mohg's Divine Tower. This mushroom is between the 2nd and 3rd wolf pack.
Paying attention to the mushrooms also calls attention to something else interesting. There are 4 stone viewing spots built into the ramp face - the two middle ones occurring at those two mushroom spots, one at the top of the ramp just before the 1st wolf pack, and one at the bottom of the ramp between the merchant and the bloodhound knight.
The lowest of these viewing points has a clear view at the Erdtree (nearest to the gate). Also from this vantage point the Liurnia North Minor Erdtree is in alignment with the withered Minor Erdtree in the Altus Plateau:
The highest viewing point near the top of the ramp has views of Mt. Gelmir, Bellum highway Gate, and the Wandering Mausoleums:
In the photos of the first mushroom (lower ramp) I placed more emphasis on the Erdtrees, as this is the view obtained by looking directly at the minor Erdtree. See below as rotated to face the pillar directly, which corrects for peripheral vision picking up certain distant objects that do not actually have direct sightline to the mushroom.
And like at the upper ramp mushroom, the transparency of the Erdtree is accounted for in what is visible from this vantage point. From the corrected viewpoint Rykard's Divine Tower is also completely obscured by the pillar and Morgott/Mohg's Divine Tower is not only behind the Erdtree, but also behind a conveniently placed rock spear. Rotating to the right, a clear view of Liurnia Divine Tower and just the top of the Isolated Divine Tower. Caelid Divine Tower is obscured by the Carian Study Hall, and Limgrave Divine Tower is exactly behind the steeple of a pillar.
So what does it matter exactly, that landmarks are blocked from certain locations? Good question! I am trying to understand this! It seems to me quite obvious from the framing of this one small corner of the map that care is being taken to craft these vistas in a certain way. Perhaps travelling up the ramp is telling a story in sequence. Perhaps there is one story told from the balcony spots while a second lens is placed on the story from the mushroom spots.
Overall, what I see are pieces of an environmental puzzle deliberately crafted at hundreds of locations. Just from mushrooms alone. But there is no reason to stop at mushrooms - I know that some people are already taking interest in the locations of Trina's Lilies and Miquella's Lilies, but has any attempt been made to really consider what is visible (or not visible) from their locations? The things that NPC's can see from their vantage points, the directions that corpses are looking and the items they hold, the view of the divine towers from rebirth monuments (previously discussed in a different post) all seem to be carefully planned. Rowa bushes are very frequently found in pairs, and at almost every location I've checked so far across Limgrave there will be something clearly visible from one bush that is just barely out of sight from the other.
For anyone wondering whether Elden Ring actually innovated on anything compared to Dark Souls? It's this. Literally - it's the depth of environmental storytelling.
#elden ring#environmental storytelling#mushroom vision#wandering around looking at stuff is more fun than making posts#but sometimes the findings need to be documented#this is basically the same skillset that I use for taking photos documenting site conditions for work lol
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chapter 162 page 18
#beastars#melon beastars#beastars melon#melon#chapter 162#what always gets me is that she lets him do this#she lets her son kill her#like there is absolutely no doubt that she abused him#she loved his papa so much something broke in her when he left and instead of learning to cope like a normal person she...#i have sympathy for a woman who clearly needed a lot of help and in the absence of that ended up abusing her child#but thats about where it ends#she deserved to die for what she did as much as she deserved to be helped#anyway unrelated to melomama sometimes i think about what happened to him after this#like chances are they wouldve tried to find the next of kin to dump him on#but considering how hybrids are viewed by society and how isolated melomama is AND how hard he was to track down by the police#chances are he just got lost in the foster system#having a fully fledged PhD by 23/24 is fuckin INSANE btw he wouldve had to skip grades n get into college courses by 12 at the latest#which means btw on pretty much all his legal documentation hes probably JUST marked as a gazelle#lol. melon. i think about him every day
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got some smoll informationen. ( this is also for myself, so no complaining if too much 😔 )
Name : Silus adachi
Family : Mom - Dead, Daughter -2 years old- deceased, Father - Alive, brother - Alive
Personality : Complex, Tidy, Apathetic, cold
Gender : Male
Weaknesses : eyesight is pretty bad ( sees blurry but on the right eye, almost blind. ), telling apart colors ( colorblind )
Height : 2m 18cm
Weight : 104kg
Likes : sour food, reading novels, listening to loud music, sushi
Dislikes : salty food, colorful buttons, the daily headaches
- He's a scientist, worked for a company and experimented on living beings.
didn't feel any kind of empathy for seeing the subjects suffer.
- Is colourblind since he was born. that's why he hates buttons.
-Was a father of a two year old. the mother was someone he didn't have a serious relationship with.
had to take care of the child on his own as the mother did not want it, it stressed him quite a lot, but did not want his child die while it was asleep..
- He decided that he does not want to have a birthday for unknown reasons and does not celebrate it.
- he wears a mask to cover up his mouth area. ( he hates the sharp teeth he got for some reason )
-He's tired 24/7
- He likes reading, but sometimes just stares at the book not even trying to read normally.
has his own room where he works on his stuff. ( one of the rooms with the glass tubes, but on the side with a small office and all the stuff he needs to survive )
- Drinks coffee like water if he has some.
- He loves the cold temperatures but often complains about them not wanting to admit he hates warm places.
- They can’t stand vague words, especially when it comes to science. If someone says “kind of” or “roughly,” they’ll immediately correct it to the exact number or term, and they’re unapologetically pedantic about it.
- If someone compliments them or their work, they usually respond with a scoff or a cutting remark.
if someone’s talking about anything they deem unimportant, they’ll zone out and blatantly ignore them. They’ll usually respond with an absent “Mm-hmm” or “Sure,” without even pretending to listen.
- Their notebooks are filled with sharp, angular doodles and dark scribbles in the margins. It’s like they’re venting their frustration into the paper.
- his desk in his office is MESSY.
They’re incredibly harsh on their own work and won’t hesitate to rip it apart if it doesn’t meet their impossibly high standards.
- If anyone dares bring up emotions, they’ll mutter something like, “Fascinating, but irrelevant to the work.” They find emotions tedious and completely unnecessary for anything important.
- They intentionally mispronounce names of people they dislike
- If they get an award or compliment, they’ll shrug it off like it’s meaningless and say something like, “Yes, well, some of us have standards.” They don’t need praise, but they’re clearly a little smug about it.
- Ingame: He just chills in his office, and sells certain documents for a high price. ( documents about the place and certain rooms dangers, and mostly batteries. rarely any medikits. )
his room would appears around door 75-85
I'm running out of stuff to say for New Ocs 🧍♂️.. BUT YEAH ANOTHER ONE.. Just a Scientist this time. Emo scientist, 🔥
My Phone started lagging so.. Had to stop sooner :'D
#Pressure#Roblox pressure#Pressure roblox#digital artist#digital drawing#artist on tumblr#digital art#Silus adachi#Pressure oc#emo scientist UIHADHUISDAUHI
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Hey ! i'm a longtime follower of your blog and I've read a lot of your YJ analysis and why the latter seasons totally flopped. I haven't seen you comment on Young Justice Phantoms, although I guess your opinion remains the same. However I'd love to read it one day.
PS : I do think Greg Weisman is a decent writer, but not that good at characterization and desperatly needs editors and not enablers *sigh*
Hey nonnie!
Glad you’ve found my YJ writing critiques interesting.
The reason why I haven’t commented on Young Justice: Phantoms (or the final Targets comic) is that I haven’t watched it, haven’t read a synopsis and have no plans to ever do so. My interest in the series went pretty cold as far back as Invasion but at the time I was willing to give the showrunners good faith on their claims that they had a plan to bring things together and that the problems were mostly production issues. However, after how bad Outsiders was (and having seen similar awfulness from Greg Weisman in other franchises) I don’t have any good faith or trust left to give them.
I talked at length about how Outsiders left the show with no compelling narrative as part of this big Invasion breakdown (grumpier TL:DR version here), but here are the most relevant sections:
In terms of the Central Conflict, the Light are proved utterly correct: by Outsiders the Original Team are callous, hollow husks of their former selves, who have replicated a worse version of the same status quo the Team originally formed in response to. Dick, Kaldur and M’gann’s Anti-Light are a new upper echelon of older heroes who keep even more secrets from the next generations, who exclude the new generations far more strongly from knowing their plans, who give them even less reason to trust or communicate with them, and who do so for less just, less honest and less narratively justified reasons than their own mentors’ understandable (if condescending) desire to shield the proteges from the parts of the Life they may not yet have been equipped to face. Not only that but their constant lying with the intent to control others, and refusal to hold themselves accountable for those actions goes directly against both the League’s stated heroic ideals of “Truth, Liberty and Justice” and Red Tornado’s conclusion that caring is “the human thing to do”. By the end of Outsiders, even the existence of the Team itself is undone; decommissioned into the exact kind of safe training space that the Season 1 characters were desperate for it never to be. […] With Outsiders, any actual narrative set by Young Justice Season 1 is over. By their own standards the Team have lost, and lost entirely.
The meta-narrative of Young Justice Animated is that of a show that started with a promising initial season and strong sense of narrative identity, only to discard every part of that identity. With Invasion the show discarded its original characterisations, themes and ideologies; replacing them with contradictory and often antithetical ones. Outsiders would then shed even the surface trappings of its aesthetic (in favour of the more generic “modern DC” art-style) and mission-based narrative structure. There is nothing left, save for some superficial proper nouns and call-back references: the textbook definition of an In Name Only Sequel.
I didn’t bother with Phantoms (and am frankly a little artistically insulted by its existence) because I knew it was doomed from the start to be a narrative stillbirth. Having actively abandoned its original identity, Young Justice was left desperately scrambling to forge a new one, by clawing at the one thing it had left: people’s nostalgic attachment to the Season 1 iterations of the cast. But this could never work because every season since has been engaged in a performative pretense of not acknowledging the character-breaking contradictions and hypocrisies forced upon the original cast by the poor writing decisions. Phantoms would have to thread an impossible needle: wanting to be about the “journey” of the original cast for nostalgia reasons, while not being able to acknowledge that the last two seasons (and attaché comics) have resulted in all of them either actively failing or being tragically soft-locked out of their explicit character arcs without breaking that kayfabe of performative ignorance. And, in trying to tell a story without engaging with that story's content or how broken it had become, what would they have left but to fall back yet again on canonical filler, sidequests and references held loosely together by contrivance?
It could only ever be a zombie-fic of itself: having long-since concluded or abandoned any remaining character or plot threads, driven forward solely by the stream-of-consciousness compulsive-writing of a production team desperate to remain present, relevant and profitable. And from the feedback I’ve heard from the general community and fandom friends who kept watching, it seems like Phantoms did indeed pull down the curtain on that empty, directionless, hollow-automaton-filled narrative for a lot of people.
As for Greg Weisman himself, while I agree that he is a particularly poor character-writer, I will respectfully but firmly disagree that he’s otherwise decent. I think the fact that we have to caveat “he’s a decent writer” with the condition “so long as he’s surrounded by a team of strong editors and directors to keep him from being awful” kind of reveals that he isn’t. I also don’t really accept the premise that the main fault lies with the people around him for not stopping that. They certainly haven’t helped but he’s a grown adult who can make his own decisions. Enablers don’t generally induce behaviours; they simply amplify or become complicit in the behaviours that are already there.
In the video Plagiarism and You(tube), Hbomberguy did a great job of laying out the difference between “honest mistakes” – which can be easily cleared up by good-faith apologies and explanations – and “dishonest behaviour” – where the person(s) is aware that what they are doing is not appropriate and falls back on reputation-protecting deflections and “non-apologies” to avoid consequences when caught. Weisman would not so-frequently disrespect his colleagues’ work with contradictions, or write patterns of misogyny, queerphobia, casual racism/ableism and abuse apologism into his stories if he did not fundamentally feel entitled to do so, was not comfortable and in agreement with those beliefs, or did not think he could get away with it. And the way he has routinely responded to even gentle, good-faith comments by fans expressing frustration/confusion with inconsistent characterisation/structure indicates someone who knows he has done the wrong thing but resents being questioned or held accountable. And then we see him continuing the same behaviours. A “decent writer” should not need an editor to hold their hand and explain why directly contracting explicitly-stated characterisation is bad practice. A “good ally” should not need someone to tell them that disproportionately subjecting queer/non-white characters to shock-value violence, writing minority characters to be dirty/dangerous/less valid in their identities, erasing/demonising/misgendering AFAB trans and bisexual identities, rewriting strong female characters to need motherhood or men to “tell them who they are”, writing gay men to be secretly misogynistic/racist, and framing victims as being equally responsible for their abuse is offensive. All of which he has either directly done or tacitly allowed under his lead. Multiple times. Across multiple series.
These are not isolated incidents of “good-faith mistakes” from a newcomer learning the ropes (if they were, it wouldn’t bother me like this). Weisman has had multiple seasons - multiple franchises even - and decades to show himself to be the kind of sincere ally and visionary artist of integrity that myself and his fans wanted him to be… and that he has so benefited from presenting himself as. He has chosen not to. Say what you want about their stories, but you can’t claim that marginalised creators like ND Stevenson, Rebecca Sugar, Dana Terrace and allies like Neil Gaiman didn’t push back hard against their own publishers and make a lot of careful compromises in order to tell those stories in a way they felt was respectful. Weisman is in a very privileged position, with a resume that carries a decent amount of clout. He could have held himself to the creative standards he publicly expresses; could have worked improve his craft, could have examined his own biases and actually learned from the communities his stories speak about/over. But he didn’t – because obviously it's easier and more comfortable to keep being lazy, keep relying on his colleagues to carry him, to not question his own biases/privileges and then lie when caught. And with the money he makes, and all the second chances and new jobs he keeps getting handed, what incentive does he have to change that behaviour?
So, personally I don’t buy his attempts to position himself as an UwU Nice Guy Ally whose haters are taking him out of context and whose nasty publishers keep forcing him to do incoherent bigotry. He’s a grown-up, who can own his own behaviour. And, even with a generous reading, this is at best the behaviour of a fair-weather sell-out who is willing to abandon his principles at the slightest hint of pressure from above. That is not what respect looks like. I wanted to give him good faith, but in light of all this, I find I can no longer trust him to keep his word or be honest about his intentions.
This is kind of the other reason why I choose not to support or engage with YJ Phantoms (or the revival in general): on top of being utterly disinterested, I just don’t want to incentivise this kind of creative behaviour with more money or attention. I also can’t ignore what could be a pattern where Weisman makes grand promises that he likely never has a plan or intent to fulfill, then deliberately leaves holes/timeskips/inconsistencies in his narratives in order to generate ongoing demand for separate-purchase side content which promises to “fill those gaps”… but which never does because there isn’t actually a plan to facilitate that (thus creating an endless cycle of demand and profit). To me that cuts a little too close to the potential for a privileged creator to be exploiting their clout and the good-faith belief of their fanbase in order to grift those fans out of their time and money. I don’t find that acceptable.
So, yeah. Not to deploy the GIF again but:
It'll be a big, fat doughnut on YJ Phantoms content from me 🍩. Sorry!
#Young Justice#Young Justice Revival#Young Justice Phantoms#Young Justice Criticism#Anti Young Justice Revival#Anti Young Justice Phantoms#Greg Weisman#Anti Greg Weisman#YJ Essays collection#3WD Answers#Anonymous#Hope this doesn't sound cross nonnie#I'm not mad at you or anything#I just spent way too many years down a rabbit-hole of accidentally finding out MORE BAD STUFF about Greg Weisman#so he's kind of a sore point for me#I went off him as far back as Invasion because of the disingenuous non-answers but the revival really cemented my dislike for his writing#I fundamentally don't agree with or accept his creative ethos or rhetoric. It's so antithetical to everything I believe about storytelling#his resentment at being held accountable is something that bled through into the writing from S2+ and made the characters unsympathetic#and then I TRIPPED AND FELL into a bunch of former Gargoyles and MtG fans who had similar (and sometimes WORSE) patterns to report#One day I might document all those findings in detail (for posterity) but honestly I think he's had far too much of my time and oxygen as-i#(Seriously there is some potentially DEEPLY CURSED stuff in his creative closet and I hate that I am aware of it. Don't do it. Don't look.)#I wrote these essays because I needed to SOLVE why YJS2+ was so infuriating. And I found my answer. So I don't really need to keep watchin#So yeah - YJ Phantoms and any other revival stuff will be a hard skip from me#I'm a Season 1 only gal and my brain is much healthier for it
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and if i, like an insane person, go through every leafs game since 2016 and clip every single point mitch marner or auston matthews have scored in the nhl and upload it to youtube in my own archive... then what
#to accompany a very lovely stat spreadsheet made by the lovely lou.#removing watermarks for 2 weeks wasnt enough. i need to do smth even more INSANE ot keep me at bay here#love that i lack a lot of visual creativity sometimes so i just turn to pure analytical documentation as a form of stress relief like#this is so fun to me fkldjs#ARCHIVAL.. THINK I WAS BUILT FOR IT#painstakingly..#im refusing to use pre-packaged highlights on yt too.. like im going back n trying to find the full games...#god help me lkFJDKLS
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REPORT START.
DATE: January 21, 2282
COURSER UNIT: Q3-31
Dr. [INSERT ACTING HEAD OF SRB HERE.],
Exploring the ruins of Las Vegas (currently called “New Vegas”) and the surrounding Mojave Desert, I was able to find evidence of the missing synth, V4-16. Included in this report is a medical file made on his behalf by the “Followers of the Apocalypse.” The doctor under his supervision, a man named Arcade Gannon, appears to have taken on a paternal role towards V4-16, and assumes he originated from a Vault due to his lack of scarring. V4-16 seems to have no recollection of his time in the Institute, and has amassed an impressive amount of power in the short time he has been away. For some reason, recalling does not seem to work - the recall component in his brain was either damaged, or removed. I was under immediate suspicion by Dr. Gannon during my attempt to reclaim him, and upon the reclamation not working, I was simply stared at, and asked, “What is wrong with you?” I retreated immediately and requested to be recalled back.
REPORT END.
Additional Notes: We’ll keep an eye on V4-16 for now. Having an influence as far as the Mojave, while we may be unable to directly control it, is still beneficial. Under no circumstances should Bela be made aware of V4-16’s survival - simply maintain the truth that it’s chip has been offline since October.
- Dr. Ayo
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Made a similar thing to this a while ago here, and wanted to make another version, with some additional context ;-)
And a bonus:
#my art#described#ids in alt text#fallout new vegas#courier six#courier valerio#arcade gannon#I keep wanting to bring up six bein intersex but that’s hard to do without feelin kinda clunky. so MEDICAL DOCUMENT. LOOK AT BEAUTIFUL BOY#also I get very classic queer vibes from Arcade which is why I used the word ‘transsexual’ rather than transgender. also cus I like it :)#he means it very respectfully! I also like the idea he tries to write down his patients pronouns with their info so that is included :-)#also might design Q3 sometime…. I have ideas for them………#literally just needed a throwaway courser unit but now I’m havin thoughts….#six likes to write all over arcade’s notes. he won’t write on top of them cus he doesn’t wanna actually mess them up-#-but he does draw little doodles of him and Arcade and writes little things for Arcade to find when he gets back to his notes~#arcade thinks it’s adorable and carefully preserves and writes around each instance to the best of his ability#anyway. ough I love them it’s been a hot second……..
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i would like to stop obsessing about the dumb thing where i was scolded a little for being distracted but its a tangible single thing my brainworms can latch onto instead of the many many other shit things in the background that are objectively way worse or scarier
#i'll admit like yeah my bad i goofed for a bit#its just ... hard to keep an eye on that sometimes when theres a lot of junk going on#and its not a strong point anyway ... i need to constantly keep an eye on my lack of an internal clock and its exhausting#like it really doesnt matter either but the brain being a turd abot it is ALSO exhausting#s i g h s#i just need a little 'reset focus' reminder every so often but its like ..#having that be a formal thing is hard without a piece of paper saying you have brainbonk#its why i chose to apply for a physically engaging job rather than office shit yknow#staring at documents all day makes me want to scream lol#its also just irking me that there was yknow ... 'lol now we'll have to find you something to do' comments#because for someone who doesnt DO data entry im pretty speedy in the zone#my brain just did a giant yawn and needed to reset targets without me noticing#idk i wanna eject it from my brain but it WONT LEAVE#rory's ramblings
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why does being an artist so often mean accumulating stuff 🙃
#rei rambles#i wanna keep a record of everything ive created but there's SO MUCH STUFF#and this is just the DIGITAL stuff omg#i find myself wanting to keep the dumb videos i made in my gr11 commtech class cuz it's part of my repertoire#but also like. it takes up space man. T.T#and this is on me but it's hell to organize#i have canvases im not even sure im ever actually gonna paint on since my bfa ended............#it's so frustrating. im proud to be creating but i end up having so much shit.#even artists who use nature to make stuff and then let their pieces deteriorate need to keep documentation photos#sometimes i feel like being an artist is just leaving a trail of crap behind me as i walk forward in life#u just see the pages of fanart doodles on the backs of notes and discarded dollarama canvases and ur like 'ah rei's been here'#the flip side to having something that says 'ive been here and i made this' is the inevitable trail of proof that youve visited#im so tired of figuring out my hard drives#i have 4gb worth of files i need to wade through in order to find stuff i can maybe put in a portfolio#how do archivists do it. someone tell me their secrets.
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what’s your writing process like?
Organized chaos mostly 😂
I tend to write a specific scene - usually at the beginning or end of the story - and build a loose outline from there
I also make an outline per chapter that usually goes a bit more in depth than the one I make for the whole story
the chaos comes from the fact that I love to write out of order, and I love writing little snippets and half scenes of things that come later. For Until I'm Worthy, I have like 4 different documents of working notes, scenes, and lists that I pull from when writing the chapters lmao
once I've built a chapter from the mess of outline and notes, I don't usually go through and line edit. I prefer pretty much rewriting the chapter, cause usually I end up adding in more detail and I still catch most of my typos and errors
#The thing I like about building loose outlines is that the story can evolve and change#like until i'm worthy's og outline was a plan for a story that was about 10k#most of my stories end up like that lol#the multi-document note system I have is a bit inefficient cause sometimes I have to flip through them all to find a specific sentence#but I need them all :(#anyways I feel like I rambled a bit but thank you for the question#it was very interesting and I hadn't thought much about my writing process before lol#writing this out showed me that I might write like an insane person but it works for me 🤷♀️
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I don't like wading into Ao3 debates, but I want to give my professional opinion on Ao3 with regard to archives vs. libraries.
I am a professional librarian (MSLS) and I have worked in both archives and public libraries and a lot of the confusion and concern I see surrounding Ao3 is a fundamental misunderstanding of How Archives Work.
An archive is a collection related to a subject. That subject is often a person but sometimes a field or concept or project. And the purpose of an archive is to keep everything. And I mean everything. I was going to say "short of biohazards" but since I know there's a sealed R. Crumb Devil Gal chocolate bar in the UNC Chapel Hill archives, we really do mean everything.
When a collection of materials--which are usually unique and original and can be photos, manuscripts, letters, recordings (audio and/or visual), notes and notebooks, objects, published books, whatever--on and/or from the subject arrive at the archive, they are examined, preserved for longevity, accessioned and cataloged (added to the archive's records), and added to the archive. You measure collections in linear feet. As in, once it's all preserved and boxed and secure, you note how many feet of shelf space it takes up. And some of y'all on Ao3 have a lot of linear feet to your name (and I'm proud of you).
This is an archive: it is designed to preserve the original materials related to a subject. That is its purpose. Archives are how we have the original scroll manuscript of On the Road, for example, or the Lomax recordings of American folksongs, or Tijuana Bibles, or James Joyce's loveletters to Nora.
Now you, a member of the public, can access some archives. Some are easier to access than others. The one I worked in was open to the public; good luck getting into the British Archives without a good reason.
So now apply this to Ao3--which is an archive both in name and in purpose. It is intended to preserve fan-created content long term. And this means everything, whether you personally like the materials or not. It is a repository for as much as possible.
And the "whether you personally like the materials or not" is important, hence why I mentioned Jim's loveletters and Tijuana Bibles in particular. (RIP Jim, you would have loved pegging.)
If it's made by fans and it exists, we should keep it to document the history and progression of fandom. That is the point. We have lost enough materials related to the subject of fans of media and we don't need to lose any more.
The fact of the matter is that Ao3 is only one facet of the OTW, which preserves other fan-related materials (convention booklets and zines, for example). Somehow Ao3, an archive on the subject of fanfiction, has been divorced from the rest of the project, mostly by way of "purity culture" and panic over "dangerous" fiction.
The fact that you can go through an archive and find interesting information is the other side of archives. No, they shouldn't be like the banker's box of old letters stuffed in my closet. Yes, they should be organized and as accessible as is appropriate for the state of the materials.
It's really, really cool to find stuff in an archive, I'm not even going to lie. I have done it before and I will do it again. And yet there are other items in an archive that I might not want or need or be interested in at all--but they're still there. That's the cataloging and accessioning: to keep up with what's there, to stay "on topic" with collecting, and to be able to find things in that archive. Bless the tag wranglers who are doing the cataloging at Ao3.
The pearl clutching seems to come from 1. the creation of "dangerous" fanworks and 2. public access to those "dangerous" fanworks. These are issues of "purity culture" and opinions on censorship and should not involve Ao3.
Ao3, under the umbrella of the OTW, is a documentation and preservation project first and foremost.
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I keep debating trying to date again because I can tell I’m increasingly fixated on my job in a ‘no work/life balance because the work is my life’ way and I know that’s Not Good and I could really use Anything Else to dedicate my mind and energy to but….. god the idea of dealing with the stilted conversations and people being disappointed with me just makes my stomach turn.
#like maybe checking your work email as soon as you get home is actually cool and good#(and checking it several times over the weekend)#and reading your documents over and over on your phone#I am normal and doing good and clearly don’t need anything else in my life besides my job#like sure it’s nice having someone to spend time with and relax around but having to convince someone to find my whole deal charming is just#very ugh very tiring my work emails never hurt me (except when they do buy that’s just because sometimes people are idiots)#brain thoughts
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Wikipedia editors push offensive language to delegitimize some Native American Tribes
Article Text As Follows:
Wikipedia editors push offensive language to delegitimize some Native American Tribes
By Sherry Robinson
Special to The Independent
ALBUQUERQUE — When Lily Gladstone won a Golden Globe and Oscar nomination for her role in “Killers of the Flower Moon,” the public recognized a Native American actress. But to Wikipedia readers, she is an American actress whose father was Blackfeet and Nez Perce and whose mother was white.
Three long-time editors at the online encyclopedia argued that even though Gladstone grew up on the Blackfeet reservation, she couldn’t be called Native American unless she was an enrolled member of the tribe. When Gladstone’s uncle weighed in to say she was enrolled, they dismissed his comments. She is still, in Wikipedia’s view, “an American actress.”
In recent years, outside of a national debate in Indian Country over fake tribes, a handful of Wikipedia editors have been deciding who is Native American and who isn’t.
Look behind the curtain of the sprawling site and you will find a network of 265,000 volunteer editors writing and editing within a Wiki universe that has its own rules, language, police and courts but no traditional hierarchy.
Wikipedia’s structure allows likeminded editors to work together, but it also permits editors with a bias to advance their agenda. The site has drawn criticism from media and academics for slanted articles on Blacks and Jews. Wikipedia documents its own systemic bias in an article by that name and attributes the problem to too few minority editors. The typical editor, it says, is a white male.
By Wikipedia's definition, the only real tribes are federally recognized; editors of Native American material denigrate state-recognized and unrecognized tribes and seem preoccupied with revealing fake Indians.
The fakes are out there, and they’re a problem. But there’s a big difference between people who invented a Native ancestry and people who have a long, documented heritage.
For this story, aggrieved tribal members didn’t identify themselves because they fear the site’s size and power – it reaches 1.8 billion devices a month – and some editors’ vindictiveness.
Behind the curtain
Wikipedia is transparent about its process. Click on “talk” at the top of each article and you find the (sometimes endless) debates among editors about an article and see the site’s rules in action.
Editors are anonymous because the Wikipedia Foundation has a strong commitment to privacy, says a spokesperson. However, readers don’t know what expertise editors have or whether they’re Native American.
Editors select their subject matter. With experience they can rise in the pecking order until they gain authority to reverse or eliminate the edits of others. They quote the site’s often arcane rules in Wiki-Speak to anyone who disagrees. While Wikipedia espouses objectivity, neutrality and civility, discussions can take the low road.
On Lily Gladstone’s talk page, a newish editor, user name Tsideh (Apache for bird), asked, “What are your sources supporting the idea that Native Americans are only those who are enrolled in a US recognized tribe?”
A Wiki editor, user name ARoseWolf, answered: “A notable subject can make a claim… but you must have that respective tribal nation’s acceptance as verification through enrollment."
Gladstone’s uncle wrote: “I’m a primary source for Ms. Gladstone’s tribal heritage. Her father is my brother. Through our father, we are both enrolled in the Blackfeet Tribe in the USA,” he wrote. “Our mother is enrolled Nez Perce. So Ms. Gladstone is a direct descendant of both Blackfeet and Nez Perce.”
ARoseWolf shot him down. “We can not use primary sources to verify such information and, you, as a claimed family member have a WP:COI which means we need an independent source.”
WP:COI is the Wikipedia rule on confl ict of interest. Wikipedia forbids primary sources, and yet they’re the gold standard for journalists and academics.
Tsideh challenged the position that only enrollment in a recognized tribe “entitles somebody to claim to be a Native American” as an unfounded, minority point of view that Wiki editors didn’t support with a citation or explanation.
ARoseWolf and others chastised Tsideh for violating Wiki rules on bullying, false accusations and arguing Wiki policy. Tsideh countered that Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t have to prove he was an Italian American, but Lily Gladstone had to prove she was a Native American.
As the back and forth continued, ARoseWolf slammed a new editor who "just happened to find this discussion,” a dig that implies one party enlisted another to join the debate. That too is a Wiki violation.
Bohemian Baltimore, another regular, insisted, “If she’s not enrolled, she may be a descendant, but she’s not a Native American.”
Who is Native American?
Terry Campbell, a Navajo born in Tuba City, Arizona, who lives out of state, has been studying Wikipedia for five months, after friends complained about poor treatment in trying to edit Wiki pages.
One friend wanted to add some facts to an article about a tribe. “These changes were rejected by a handful of editors who cited other Wikipedia pages as sources,” he said, “and I thought that was very, very odd.”
A friend citing sources that prove her tribe survived the Indian wars and received state recognition ran up against Wikipedia guidelines on determining Native American identities that were largely crafted by two editors, user names CorbieVreccan and Yuchitown. Wiki editors used the guidelines to reclassify dozens of state-recognized tribes as “heritage organizations” and removed “Native American” from biographies of prominent tribal members or, worse, called them a "self-identified Native American.”
The implication, Campbell explained, is that the tribe no longer exists and that its members are suspect or even “Pretendians.” Wikipedia has a page for that too.
The same group has shaped many articles on Native subjects. Campbell said he combed through references and found they were misrepresented, taken out of context, sourced from far-right academics, or unreliable.
“The scope of this issue is huge,” Campbell said. “It permeates all the Native articles I checked.”
Campbell recognized talking points from what he called a far-right movement in Indian Country intent on erasing state-recognized and unrecognized tribes. (New Mexico has no state-recognized tribes and six unrecognized groups or tribes.)
Some Native Americans and Anglos, he said, believe that Indigenous people outside the circle of federal recognition should be considered non-Native. They also want to prevent members of the disenfranchised groups from selling their art, receiving ancestral remains, accessing disaster relief or re-establishing their homeland.
Outside Indian Country, it’s not generally known that U.S. Indigenous groups live within a caste system based on government recognition, with 574 federally recognized tribes on top, dozens of state-recognized tribes second, and several hundred unrecognized tribes last.
In 2021, Yuchitown wrote, “The overwhelming majority of ‘List of unrecognized tribes in the United States’ are completely illegitimate.”
There are many reasons why groups aren’t recognized. Some avoided the reservation. Some lost their recognition during the termination era. Some were broken up and scattered during the Indian Wars. Some went underground, practicing their culture secretly while passing as Hispanic. Many simply stayed put.
When Wikipedia editors claim that “Native American” is a political status conferred by the U.S. government, that an individual can only be called a “descendent” until their tribe is recognized, they push this narrative, Campbell said. It’s a contradiction of federal Indian law and the United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, “As a general principle, an Indian is a person who is of some degree Indian blood and is recognized as an Indian by a Tribe and/or the United States. No single federal or tribal criterion establishes a person’s identity as an Indian. Government agencies use differing criteria to determine eligibility for programs and services. Tribes also have varying eligibility criteria for membership.”
Extreme points of view
Campbell has contributed to a lengthy report, as yet unpublished, that identifies biased editors. They include Yuchitown, CorbieVreccan, ARoseWolf, Indigenous girl and Bohemian Baltimore.
“It was like a tree with many interconnecting branches that had been created over time by the same small group of people pushing extreme points of view,” Campbell said.
Initially the group made changes slowly, he said, “but they started pursuing their agenda aggressively after November, when state-recognized tribes retained their voting rights in the National Congress of American Indians (NCAI). Essentially, after the movement to delegitimize state-recognized tribes failed officially, the key players doubled down on altering and controlling the flow of information about Native Americans through Wikipedia.”
Campbell observed widespread violations of Wikipedia standards: “I found evidence that they blatantly misquoted and misrepresented sources to push extremist political beliefs; teamed up to manipulate the consensus system by voting in blocks; exploited Wikipedia rules, such as conflict of interest, to block outside editors from making changes to Native-related pages; excessively cited opinion pieces from fringe political figures, including those accused of racism and anti-semitism; blocked the use of legitimate primary and secondary sources that contradict their extremists beliefs, which violates Wikipedia’s rule against information suppression; posted originally researched, politically motivated essays instead of well-sourced articles; and harassed and defamed Native American tribes and living Native American people.”
Reacting in February to an early draft of the report posted on Google, the editors were incensed that anybody would voice complaints “off-Wiki.” ARoseWolf wrote that “we have been attacked, threatened with legal action and had misinformation/ false claims spread against us.” She and Yuchitown denied being part of a conspiracy against tribes or organizations and said they were just following Wiki rules. Yuchitown accused critics of being “meat puppets” of a person who objected to some Native content and enlisted others to back them up. In WikiSpeak this is meat puppetry.
“Volunteers on Wikipedia vigilantly defend against information that does not meet the site’s requirements,” the Wikipedia spokeswoman wrote. “These volunteers regularly review a feed of real-time edits to quickly address problematic changes; bots spot and revert many common forms of negative behavior on the site; and volunteer administrators (trusted Wikipedia volunteers with advanced permissions to protect Wikipedia) further investigate and address negative behavior. When a user repeatedly violates Wikipedia policies, Wikipedia administrators can take disciplinary action and block them from further editing.”
Inaccurate and insulting
In 2006, Wikipedia established the WikiProject Indigenous Peoples of North America to improve its Native-related content of 14,000 articles and more than 37,000 pages.
Recently, a hot topic on the project’s talk page was a proposal to change a category name from “unrecognized tribes” to “organizations that self-identify.”
On April 15 Melissa Harding Ferretti, chairwoman of the Herring Pond Wampanoag Tribe in Massachusetts, wrote, “The proposed renaming of the category on Wikipedia is not only inaccurate… but also insulting.”
Ferretti is one of the few Natives to take on Wiki editors openly.
Herring Pond was originally listed with other Wampanoag tribes. In 2022 Yuchitown stripped “state-recognized” from the page, even though the state Commission of Indian Affairs regularly engages with them. Last year Yuchitown created a separate page for Herring Pond. Wiki editors resisted attempts to make changes or corrections.
After Wikipedia called Herring Pond a “cultural heritage group" and a nonprofi t that "claims" to descend from Wampanoags, Ferretti wrote in a Wiki discussion, “There is no claim, it’s a fact! Might I add, nonprofit status was imposed upon Tribal nations in the ‘90s because we didn’t have our federal recognition yet.”
Her tribe has a well-documented history. “We still have care and custody of our sacred places, burial grounds and our 1838 Meetinghouse, one of three built for the Tribe after the arrival of the colonizers. Our continuous presence and stewardship of these lands are recognized by historical records, deeds and treaties.”
Ferretti wrote that tribes without federal recognition already face significant hurdles to gain recognition, "and being labeled as 'self-identified' can add to these challenges by casting doubt on our legitimacy.” Mislabeling unrecognized tribes “can lead to the spread of hate, misinformation and further marginalization.”
Some Wiki editors agreed. One wrote that “there are strong negative connotations to saying someone who is Native 'self identifies,' because the inference is that they are Native in name only or falsely claiming to be Native. A change like this will impact countless articles…” Bohemian Baltimore, ARoseWolf and Yuchitown insisted there were no negative connotations. They opposed calling an unrecognized group a tribe because it legitimized groups with unverified claims. ARoseWolf said, “If they had proof of their connection to the original people they would have gotten federal recognition.”
This is a frequent refrain among the insiders, who apparently think the application process is a slam dunk instead of the long, difficult, expensive journey it is.
Yuchitown noted that “all of the editors who actively contribute to and improve Native American topics on Wikipedia have voted to support the renaming.” It’s a remarkable declaration that he and his allies act in concert.
The insiders took even stronger action against Lipan Apaches in Texas.
Late in 2022, Yuchitown changed the entry of the Lipan Apache Tribe of Texas to say that NCAI recognizes the tribe as state-recognized but the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL) does not. In fact, NCSL took down its web page listing federal and state-recognized tribes because it couldn’t verify the accuracy.
In boilerplate that appears on all the Texas unrecognized tribes’ websites, Yuchitown said Texas has no legal mechanism to recognize tribes, citing an online article that in turn cites the discredited NCSL web page.
In 2022, a tribal member and Yuchitown fought back and forth, reversing each other’s edits. In WikiSpeak, it was edit warring. The tribal member informed Yuchitown that the NCSL page he quoted no longer existed. CorbieVreccan told the member she was up against “two experienced editors,” and Yuchitown accused her of conflict of interest and edit warring. His fellow travelers demanded to know if she had an official position with the tribe. She didn’t.
ARoseWolf wrote, “As Wikipedia is not a state or government-controlled entity it can make up its own rules for what content is allowed on its platform.”
The Wikimedia spokeswoman says that in some extreme cases the foundation relies on a trust and safety team that will investigate and may also take action.
Campbell wrote in the report that many Native American communities and people “have been targeted by the small group of propagandists in this complaint… And the thousands of people who make these communities have been slandered and assaulted on Wikipedia through the actions of these propagandists.”
Link to the original article:
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Artificial intelligence is worse than humans in every way at summarising documents and might actually create additional work for people, a government trial of the technology has found. Amazon conducted the test earlier this year for Australia’s corporate regulator the Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) using submissions made to an inquiry. The outcome of the trial was revealed in an answer to a questions on notice at the Senate select committee on adopting artificial intelligence. The test involved testing generative AI models before selecting one to ingest five submissions from a parliamentary inquiry into audit and consultancy firms. The most promising model, Meta’s open source model Llama2-70B, was prompted to summarise the submissions with a focus on ASIC mentions, recommendations, references to more regulation, and to include the page references and context. Ten ASIC staff, of varying levels of seniority, were also given the same task with similar prompts. Then, a group of reviewers blindly assessed the summaries produced by both humans and AI for coherency, length, ASIC references, regulation references and for identifying recommendations. They were unaware that this exercise involved AI at all. These reviewers overwhelmingly found that the human summaries beat out their AI competitors on every criteria and on every submission, scoring an 81% on an internal rubric compared with the machine’s 47%. Human summaries ran up the score by significantly outperforming on identifying references to ASIC documents in the long document, a type of task that the report notes is a “notoriously hard task” for this type of AI. But humans still beat the technology across the board. Reviewers told the report’s authors that AI summaries often missed emphasis, nuance and context; included incorrect information or missed relevant information; and sometimes focused on auxiliary points or introduced irrelevant information. Three of the five reviewers said they guessed that they were reviewing AI content. The reviewers’ overall feedback was that they felt AI summaries may be counterproductive and create further work because of the need to fact-check and refer to original submissions which communicated the message better and more concisely.
3 September 2024
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ch.1: again &. again (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)
directory: preq, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four
read until the end for an author's note.
if there was one thing you hated more than the crime-filled streets of gotham, it would be empty promises.
when was the last time they attended your birthday? or your school ceremonies? or any special event that meant for you to be the center of attention?
plot twist, there was no last time, or a time before that or any day that they were there for you.
not your eldest brother, dick, not your dead brother, jason, of course tim wouldn't be there for you, damian's absence is a given, not even your sisters would come, and most especially not your father, bruce wayne.
you never wrote wayne as your last name. in every test, it would always be your mother's last name. in every document that you had to fill, you would violently scratch in the name of your father, wishing it wasn't required at all so you wouldn't have to hang your head in shame everytime someone looks at you incredulously for having the bruce wayne as your father but never once appearing to be with you.
you can't recall a time you had called him your dad, or even considered him as one.
if you could count the times you have seen him in person, it wouldn't even fill ten fingers. even interviewers and paparazzi have more luck in coming across him than you would, his child.
it sucks, really, how despite having nearly sharing the same age as tim, you never once saw him outside of his room. you thought you would've been the closest to him, but the most you have seen him was when you were watching the news with the "new" robin popping up, or worse; when bruce would be seen guiding tim through the paparazzi and not you. alfred had to drag you away from the tv that day because you were already suffering through a panic attack just seeing those two act so close; ripping your hair out just from watching the news wasn't a good way to cope.
you remember being so jealous of him, of how bruce would always spend time with him and not you. it made you wonder, were you special enough? tim is so brilliant, you could admit. and you were, too, having enough comprehensibility as a child to find out they were vigilantes a year or two after living in the manor— but you weren't good enough like tim. you weren't cut out to be like a detective or a fighter.
it was no wonder why bruce chose them over you.
it came to you in the form of talking to tim that had you discovering that no one ever mentions your name inside the house, proving it to be true when tim had hesitated calling your name and even stuttered through pronouncing it. and then he left after finding you were of no use to help him. alfred had to stifle your sobbing after tim left the room, allowing you to cry on his chest whilst you sat beside him.
(name) wayne was so, so lonely.
you would've accepted their absence long ago, but you were a stupid child who needed care and reassurance because your mother left you for good at the age of five. you were too naive into thinking you would receive the same love from your family just like the other kids in elementary would. you were a child who expected too highly of your father, thinking that he would pick you up from school with that picture perfect photographed smile of his and kiss your forehead and tell you that you did a great job at school today.
it was your teachers who would be the one having to walk you up the stage whenever you achieved an award. alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least.
it was long ago that you stopped praying for your family to attend at least one of your birthdays.
it's ironic, really, for a child to prep and plan for their own celebration just to hope that a single member of their family to even walk by the kitchen and join them in on their already lonesome celebration.
too bad everybody only goes to the kitchen when alfred cooks for them. who would want to taste sadness in a sloppily made birthday cake, right? nobody, not even you would have the appetite to eat your cake with the knowledge that it was you who had to put all the effort to bake it because you didn't want alfred to feel obligated to. knowing nobody would celebrate birthdays with you, save for alfred, it was expected that you started to prefer cupcakes.
because then you wouldn't be scolded for making such a mess.
you never cooked family meals after the incident where nobody came and to not waste food, you had to bring in large containers to bring to school so you could celebrate your birthday there.
it was there that you find more solace in your small group of friends compared to the desolate rooms of the mansion. your family celebrates holidays together as a whole, but you never once attended after that one time where everybody had forgotten to get you a gift for christmas, save for alfred who gave you a bracelet (one that you cherished deeply). you only smiled weakly and hopelessly, sneaking into your room before the family dinner.
it was alfred again who bought you leftovers and sat on your bed for an hour to encourage you that there's still more christmas's to go.
you never believed what he said. not anymore.
there was a period of time where you hated them more than anything, blamed them for everything and became more rebellious, purposely failing tests, fighting your classmates and disrespecting teachers in hopes that for once your father would bat an eye on you. that only resulted in you being taken out of the school and being transferred into another, for a behavioral reform is what alfred stated to you when you annoyed him for answers.
damian started to bully you a bit more harder after that incident, calling you immature and childish, a weakling, an attention seeker. how someone at your age should've known better. you were convinced that he was relishing in the heartbroken glare you gave him, ignoring the way his eyes widened momentarily at your reaction before sneering and walking away.
alfred gently scolded you, but you were too choked up and instead you almost tripped running inside your bedroom, locking yourself in for what seems like hours.
you don't want to remember the immense breakdown you had that evening too, screaming on your blankets and destroying your things and hurting yourself because... because you had lost your old friends for nothing! your caring teachers, your academic progress, everything! every single thing for an ounce of attention! because he didn't have enough energy to come with you to the guidance counselor and he only had you transfer out so you wouldn't ruin the wayne's reputation!
you hate him, you hate bruce fucking wayne so much and you hate clinging onto their empty promises and sorry's to make it up for you. you hate how their promises were never even said directly to you, you hate how alfred was your only source of hope for a medium of communication.
you hate them all.
and worst of all, you hate yourself for drowning in hope. for wishing you were physically stronger so you could at least bond with them through training. for dreaming about a day where they could surprise you and told you they were just testing you and that you actually had worth inside this manor. for praying nightly that they'll smile at you like the heroes you see in tv rather than that of pity.
you wished there was a universe where gotham was safer, more protected with no criminals littering the streets. maybe then they would have more time to notice you crying every night, writing self destructive entries in your diary, sketching what would've been a happy family. they wouldn't have to wear their silly costumes to fight crime and instead would save you from your own demons.
if...
if you were brutally tortured and killed by the joker, or forced to choke on the fear toxin by the scarecrow— hell, even beaten to near death by some random goons; would they have given you a sliver of their love? would they finally look at you and save you from yourself?
because despite your resentment, you would never lie and say you didn't feel blessed that you were thrown to a family of talented individuals.
your drawings of a complete and happy family holding hands together and a diary filled with rants and fantasies of spending time with them proved just that.
you were blessed with them yet cursed at the same time to never reach the same level to be even considered part of their lives.
you were hopeless. you never amounted to anything. you were just, you.
thirteen years have passed by then, and in those years you were proud to say your development as a person, albeit slow, transformed you from a child that succumbed to neglect to an independent person who managed to maintain a comfortable circle of friends, a scholarship for a college far away from gotham, and an apartment of your own (you were a bit in debt due to having to pay for your own because no way in hell would you ask for your father for financial support).
allowance was scarce, your food supplies weren't infinite compared to back when you were living at the wayne manor, and you weren't greeted to michelin star restaurant meals cooked by alfred— but you were content, and that was enough.
though content translated to nightly breakdowns whilst finishing projects or writing essays, the point still stands! at least you had celebrated your eighteenth birthday with drunk smiles and your friends spoiling you to death when you had opened up about your first lonely years of life. everything was going well for you, truly.
you were so, so happy for the nice turn of events. and you wouldn't have made it so far if you hadn't slapped yourself out of the delusion that they actually cared for you.
look at you now! independent and with a life of your own! you'd give yourself a pat in the back.
you hadn't blocked them at all, but their contacts were empty (save for a few desperate messages that date back years ago) and you were fine with that. it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!
alfred communicates with you time to time, reminding you to eat a complete meal rather than those one dollar priced noodles that tasted like pure salt. he told you he misses you a lot, you and your annoying, daily rants about life and school. he misses your awkward smile and when you would help him cook whenever the others aren't around. he misses it when you imitate his posh accent when you taste test his food and give commentary about it.
you miss him, too. growing up, you realized just how much effort alfred would exert just to spend a lot of his time on you.
now, he told you that you are still welcome to the manor whenever, and how he cleans your room weekly in case you'll visit him.
whenever you audio call with him, you'd tear up just a bit at the realization that alfred was more of a father figure than your own biological father. because he at least attended your graduation to make up for the other times he was unable to join you.
what's even better was that he gifted you something you had always wanted for your birthday. despite it being delivered to your door rather than him giving it to you face to face (since you had refused to give him your location and him respecting that decision at least), the heartfelt letter he left you was more than enough to let you cling onto pieces of your past. after all, it was him who greeted you by the door when you were first introduced into the family, bruce being too busy with paperwork that day when you were a measly five year old.
you had started to teasingly call him 'alfie' and a few more nickname after that, which results with a chuckle over the phone every time you had come up with a cheesy name for him whenever you get a wee bit irritated at his own way of making fun of you.
if only this was your life years ago, then maybe you wouldn't have been jealous of all your other friends and pushed them away that day, maybe you would learn that sometimes, family comes in the form of the people outside of your house rather than inside.
that reminds you, maybe you should reconnect with your old friends back in elementary and apologized for your sudden explosive behavior.
you were laying on your bed, phone in hand and opened your inst*gram app to stalk through the names you could remember. well... that was what you should've done, if not for the fact that a notification popped up the very moment you pressed on the search bar and you had accidentally opened a chat with your oldest brother, dick.
you would've ignored the desperate messages you have sent him from the past which all varied from inviting him to eat dinner with you or to at least join you to play in an arcade or anything to convince him to talk to you, all of which were unseen, if not for the fact that it was him who sent you a sudden "hey baby bird!!! <333 long time no see! how are you?!" message, alongside a few more replies that spammed through your phone...
oh!
... that was enough to make you sit up and want to hurl.
dick grayson was a man of many talents. the mature eldest child, the ideal good leader despite his anger issues from time to time, and the same guy who set the standards high for the future robins. he is bruce's greatest achievement.
it was safe to say that if not for the support of many, then he would've suffered so many falls and would've never been strong enough to stand up despite the pain and continue his fights. nightwing was what many superheroes strive to be, an image of light in a grove of darkness such as gotham.
so why was it that he felt like he has failed so deeply right now?
inside your room, dick stands with furrowed brows. it felt too clean to look used. your furniture was polished and look untouched, the lights were too bright and the windows were bolted shut. there were no signs of life other than the notebooks and sketchbooks that were neatly tucked on the middle of the bed and the trinkets that scatter through your desk.
dick stalks through the room, careful to not make a noise as he walks over to the closet, opening it and finding nothing.
he bites his lips at the implication that this was probably the second time he visited your room and how it was also the longest time he remained here. compared to his other siblings, you were the one he noticed the least and... now he feels bad for dismissing you.
didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago?
damn it, he was way too focused on his mission that night and ended up ditching and forgetting you! oh god, dick facepalmed and clenched his teeth, seething in some air because no fucking way did he actually remember to feed damian's dog, titus, the same day but forgot to take you out for an important event...
it occurred to him that that was the same day you scored a perfect on "the hardest test of my life!" you had bragged to him awkwardly when he wasn't listening nor looking and you, wanting to celebrate what was a small achievement for dick, chose him to spend time with you!
dick had to carefully breath through his mouth then gulp down the shame he feels right now. he- he has no time to focus on the past but rather the present. he has to find out why the hell is your room so lifeless, yeah... then he'll make it up to you today, definitely.
huh?
is it just him, but why does the room seem so small? it looked like it was meant to be for a kid. clearly, there wasn't enough space for a growing individual like you... did bruce not provide you with a bigger bedroom? ah, dick would definitely tell bruce to relocate you to a bigger room, the current one is too small for even a dog in a manor to sleep in.
dick doesn't want to admit it at all, but... he hasn't seen you for the past few months, or not all, really. sure, he had only recently visited the manor since he's bludhaven's vigilante now, but even through his time in gotham he had never seen you other than the times you pulled his sleeves from back when you were a child.
back when you were a child.
how old are you now? you were so small back then, innocent too. he can recall your curious eyes, your chubby cheeks and the way you stutter through your words as you try to talk to him.
you were significantly younger than jason, and was adopted a week before tim was introduced to the family. he remembers you peeking through alfred's back, gleaming with curiousity and whispering to the butler if it was really the dick grayson. he smiled fondly at your dumbfounded expression, the way your mouth shaped into an "ohh," when he was the one who answered that, yes, it was him. then you whispered again if you can take have an autograph from him, to which he chuckled and told alfred that he'll help accompany you to your room.
when your five year old body tried to waddle closer to his body for an ounce of warmth when he had been guiding you up the stairs, that was also the first time he called you baby bird, with the way you coddled him so closely. his hands find itself patting your head, ruffling your hair and grinning as you both make your path through the halls.
he comes to immediately regret leaving you alone after he had introduced you to your room, remembering his duties as a vigilante than that of a brother.
but despite his early memories of you, he wants to see his baby sibling all grown up now.
had it really been years?
when was the last time you ever had a full-on conversation with him?
was there even a time that he had approached you by himself?
he had always called you baby bird after the first time you meet because of the age gap you two shared. the rare times he acknowledges you, you gave him that look filled with such adoration, like you were proud of him for being your older brother. why did he not notice you?
oh, his baby bird...
dick gulped, trying to ease his shivering by sitting on your neatly folded blankets and taking a worn diary in his hand, one at the bottom stack of books. well, if it was a personal diary then maybe you would've hidden it better, right? he figures since it was all placed on the center of the bed like a piece of treasure that... it would be alright to take just a glimpse.
to confirm if you still see him as your favorite brother.
dick's heartbeat spiked, hoping your entries would be filled with, he doesn't know, anything that didn't implicate some sort of hatred for the family, for him. hoping that despite his lack of attention towards you, that there would still be a spark of love for him. if what he thinks was actually true then... he doesn't know what to do with himself.
he flips through the first page, noting how it was bulkier than the others. the paper was filled with glittery decorations, sequence beads and cheap stickers sparkling at every angle the light hits. it was meant to be a design for the 'front cover' of the notebook, colors blended in a cacophony of rainbows and butterflies and flowers beyond the messy calligraphy that merely states "(name)'s diary!"
dick stifles a grin just from skimming through at the amount of mistakes and erasures, clearly written by the the younger version of you; naive to the world and its cruelty. he commends your creativity, his eyes softening at the few doodles that were written on the corners of the pages.
you're just too adorable for your own good, so much so that the thumping in dick's heart beats louder and louder, ears wringing uncomfortable inside your unventilated bedroom. but he just couldn't rip his eyes away from the diary, daydreaming about how proud you must've been when designing your own diary. he could picture your wide eyes, shy and harmless, and your feet kicking back and forth whilst you decorate your stuff.
everything was what he expected it to be on the first few pages of the diary. all your little rants about your daily life, your eargerness to meet your entire family from your father's side, and the hurt you experienced from your mother's sudden abandonment.
he would've skipped through another diary, one that lacked design and color, save for the name plastered on the front, if not for the grim undertones at every end of your entries despite the child-like manner it was written in.
it all started with "i wish to see my father soon and my big brother dick again!", "alfred told me my father can't come to the parent-teacher conference, he says he's in a veryyy important meeting :( but alfred would come!", "dick told me he can't help me with my science project but he promise he'll help me with something else later!" which halfway through the diary, your style fluctuates and lesser effort was exhausted on the writing.
one entry in particular, written on the last page of your diary, shattered a sliver of hope within dick, his breathing momentarily ceased from reading through your sentences; uncharacteristic of you, too mature for someone at the age of ten to write.
"XX/XX/XXXX.
dear diary, it's my tenth birthday today. i celebrated with my friends at school. they told me i always look down whenever it's my birthday. they think that bruce would throw a fancy celebration for me. i tried to hide my laughter from them. it's a really funny joke. i haven't seen him for months. i told dick that he was invited but i don't think he remembers it's my birthday today. alfred told me to come out of my room, he said he cooked my favorite dinner, that he's sorry he got my present late, but i don't want get out of my room. i heard dick is gonna watch a movie with tim later. i don't feel so good, my chest hurts, but i don't want to get out right now.
i'll eat the cupcake tomorrow."
it had been nearly two hours since dick had sat on your bed, eyes dilating whilst reading through your first diary. the cold season had already pricked his skin, but his entire body felt so unnaturally warm, a warmth that scorches him, searing deep into flesh. a lump had form in his throat, accompanying the hellish throbbing of his heart.
"fuck..." he brought his fingers to his head, carefully massaging his forehead but it relieves nothing. he wants to see you right now— he needs to talk to you. god, he has to apologize, he needs to see what you look like right now, needs to know if you're alright.
you're clearly not.
he has to oppress the urge to punch the walls, reminding himself that it's your room he's in and if he damages your already delicate property, then he's proving himself worse than he already is.
he rushes to grab another diary, the one at the top of the pile, skipping to the end of the page.
nothing. all the entries were months ago, all written in vague detail like you were starting to hide secrets. his teeth grinds against each other, frustration seeping through his veins.
he needs to— shit, he needs to find you right now. he needs to find his baby bird and make up for the all bullshit him and his family had done. if you were gone for months, even years; he doesn't even want to think about it.
but how?!
there were no signs of you. anything written your diary, your drawings, the trinkets on your bedside table— they signal no clues whatsoever, all dating back to months, even years. it's not possible at all, for nobody to notice your disappearance. dick would've noticed sooner. he should've noticed sooner. oh, he doesn't even want to think about the dangers that await you outside the mansion. with how naive you were about the outside world, you wouldn't last at all.
his baby bird wouldn't survive gotham's streets, especially not when winter was nearing.
think, grayson, think...
his phone!
he immediately reaches into his pockets to grab his phone, clammy fingers swifly encoding his password and opening his contacts.
your number was the quickest to find, it was the only one without an icon of you and an endearing nickname. he makes a mental note to change that soon and replaced your default name to your nickname.
then, without hesitation, he typed, "hey baby bird!!! <333 long time no see! how are you?!" sending the message without rereading, foot tapping impatiently against the floor as he scrolls through all your previous messages.
messages that he should've replied to with the same level of enthusiasm as you. skimming through the past, unseen texts as your motivation began to dwindle the further he refused to reply back. he promises he'll never make you feel invisible again.
seconds feel like hours for him, as he blows raspberries to pass the time, too concentrated an ounce of a reply to even notice the entirely new presence inside the room.
it's alright to call you, yes? after all, dick just wanted to check in with his baby bird and see if you're doing swell and dandy and... safe without him...!
his thumbs pressed on the call button before he could think through his actions, his other hand runs through his hair, sweat running down his forehead as if he had ran a marathon.
he waited, and waited, and waited until the call beeped and provided its automated response. he calls you again but the line immediately cuts off, he tries to spam you with more messages but they weren't delivered.
you blocked him.
fuck, he messed up big time. he needs to get to the batcave. he needs to find your fucking location before it's too late. dick needs to see you again before he loses it.
but before he could carefully place your sketchbooks back to its rightful place, he sees a silhouette at the corner of his eyes; short figure, arms crossed, and a sneer on his eyes already tells him who it was.
damian wayne.
he forgot to train with damian today.
but it doesn't matter, damian has to see it for himself— what made dick so disheveled, so delirious. damian has to finally see just how much of a wonderful sibling you are.
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: this was 4,600+ words and it drained the energy out of me. it was supposed to be posted tomorrow but i was too motivated !! i'm also quite proud of this chapter. it was a pain characterizing dick grayson and the reader. i really hope this is as good as the prequel because it's 3am right now and writing dick's part was a pain in the ass ^^' as always, please do comment or send asks if you like it for quicker updates!!!
taglist: @lilyalone, @secretomelettetroops, @earlqurl, @simpingfor-wakasa, @amber-content, @alishii, @ruiroku, @okaybutfullhomo, @trasshy-artist, @obsessedwithromance, @deadinside-09, @jjsmeowthie, @fairy-lenaa (shoutout to her specifically because i got motivated from their comment!)
#🌷... yael's works#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere dick grayson#yandere dick grayson x reader#yandere batboys#yandere robin#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#platonic yandere#i hope for this to blow up again like the other one#is it obvious that i like writing angst
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Hey everyone, given the recent news and all, I imagine some people might be considering leaving the country if the hostility aimed towards and the loss of rights of women and the LGBT+ community keeps on increasing during this second Trump presidency. Immigration is an extremely bureaucratic process in most countries, though, so if I could suggest a potential alternative, easier way out of the US if it ever comes to a point where such a thing would be needed, Brazil, my home country, is particularly friendly and considered a “model country” when it comes to our laws regarding requests of asylum. For example, people who apply for a refugee status in Brazil:
• Have a very good chance of being granted it. Just last year, over 77 000 people were granted asylum in Brazil [1]
• Are almost never under the risk of being deported, even if they came to Brazil under unregulated means and/or under fake documents [2]
• Have the benefit of a very straightforward, 100% free of charge process to apply for asylum that doesn’t require a lawyer and can be done almost fully online through filling a form on a website, with the exception of getting a physical copy of your application process at the nearest federal police station [3] and
• While getting an official refugee status can take a long time (sometimes up to two years in certain cases), just by being officially registered as being in the process of obtaining said status, asylum-seekers have the right to obtain “temporary” valid Brazilian IDs, a legal work permit and also are granted rights identical to those of Brazilian citizens, such as the right to free education, free healthcare, and social assistance. Apart from having to renew those documents once a year, these privileges are never revoked [4]
Most importantly though, the Brazilian Refugee law of 1997 defines a person eligible to obtain refugee status as being, between other criteria, someone who
“has well-founded fears of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, social group or political opinions, finds themselves outside their country of nationality and is unable or unwilling to seek the protection of that country” [5] which includes members of the LGBT+ community, as it’s explicitly stated in the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees website that
“Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people may be eligible for refugee status [in Brazil] on the grounds of persecution due to membership in a particular social group. UNHCR recommends that people who are subject to harm, inhuman treatment or serious discrimination because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or intersex status and whose governments are unable or unwilling to protect them should be granted refugee status.” [6]
To sum it up… if things escalate to the point where you feel like you’d be safer leaving the US than staying in it, Brazil is one country that would welcome you practically immediately. Tumblr tends to bury posts with links so I’ll add sources on a reblog, along with more information.
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