#but someone already giffed it so i didn't xD

[nymphrasis]

I miss arcy

KJASGAJGJD SJGH HONESTLY I AM CRYING ON THE INSIDE, IN HAPPINESS, THAT SOMEONE REMEMBERS MY BEAN I AM REALLY, REALLY SORRY! I put that blog on Hiatus because of a few things: 1) I wasn't happy my backgrounds looked at the time. During then, I was still practicing.

Like... I didn't feel like I did the colorations right on the grasses and I am not too keen on the layering. Each time I make pieces with this background, I've felt unsatisfied. That I could of done better. But I was still practicing and learning what colors look best on things such as grasses.

2) There actually haven't been a full design yet of the non-beta Arceus. There were concepts, yes, but I didn't felt truly satisfied with them. It just didn't hit that certain click to the brain where the design of a character felt absolutely right ;-;. There was also going to be a Mew present as well. I did had a design of them at the time, but sold it in the end, as I've felt that the design was a little too complicated to work with ( Ah how I love to add a lot of details, haha >w<". I have learn to do that less nowadays ). There will be a newer Mew design, yes, but it is thinking on how to execute it :think: And, speaking of designs, I do plan to remake Arcy friends. I did already sold the group, except Arcy. I feel of creating more newer designs, truth be told. I do want to keep it as a group of five, as it felt the most balanced amount! I will still keep the ideas an personality for each character, something I will continue to consider for each newer design of the other beta Arceuses!

3) There was a moment of time where I have forgotten what email I have used for the Arcy blog. By literal months actually. It was actually somewhere around last year when I did found it again. But at the time I was like... Wanting to improve my art a little more before blogging again ;w; I remember that I did at least try to do emotes. I've never progress further with them tho. I don't remember the reasoning, truth be told, since it was a year ago. But here is a gif of the emotes qwp

( Idk why they look so cronchy ) Maybe I will retry the emotes at some point? I am not sure qwp.

Truthfully I do want to bring back Arcy. Do I know when? Ahhhh not really. I don't have a preparation in mind. Like... I hold zero intentions of rebooting / restarting Arcy story. I am very firm on continuing it. Idk if it would appear off with the art style being set to Clip Studio PRO, since I no longer am doing Paint Tool SAI ;w;. One idea is I could go with the freedom style that I do plan to do with Kuruna's blog :think:. Where I just go with this or that style, whatever I am in the mood to do on that day ( Sketch there, sometimes colors, maybe very basic animation, ect, ect. Basically a free for all on art stuff, if that makes sense xd ).

My lil Arcy still exists qwp. Just havent been certain aaaa.

So Uh I'll repost this old piece that I still love of Arcy. So enjoy qwp

[leo-gold-hotchner]

Unfortunate Reunion Party - pt.11

Hi, I can't apologise enough about my absence, especially with the series. I myself hate the discontinued stories, and here I am, doing it.

I started my PhD this year and broke my foot and going crazy at home.. I made a new GIF of Aaron tho XD

Aaron Hotcher X BAU G.N. Reader

Word: 1K-ish

It felt like waking up from a drunk night. But without a crazy hangover as the best buddy. Suddenly, I became so conscious around me. Everyone was looking at me worriedly as I finally looked up. I didn't know I was back at the temporary BAU office. Only the BAU members were there, and the blinds were all closed over the windows.

“You alright?” Rossi asked gently.

I stared blankly at him. Was I alright? My heart was racing as if I had run a marathon.

“Am I alright?” My voice sounded like a broken radio. My voice echoed throughout the room like a ghost. It was hoarse and hollow. Even to my ears, it sounded like someone who had lost all hope and light in the world, as if I was the only one left in the pitch-dark hole. The bottle I was holding tightly in my head was broken into pieces. I would never be able to pick up the pieces. I would never be okay. I would probably psychoanalysed as soon as I returned to Quantico and kicked out from the bureau. I would be holed in my home and never meet everyone—even Aaron.

The first unvoiced rule of the BAU was ‘do not ever profile a teammate’. But I knew everyone already knew the answer. It was the elephant in the room. Everyone knew my state.

“No, you’re not alright,” Aaron said sharply. Of course, Aaron would be the only one who would break the silence. Given a chance, Rossi would’ve said something first to point out my obvious distress, but he let the leader of the team do it. “You’re exempted from the case until we finish.”

Everyone except Rossi looked at the Unit Chief worriedly, then me. I already knew Aaron would say that.

“But can I stay here?” I whispered. I wanted to see how the case will end.

Aaron’s jaw tightened. After a minute of silence, he gave a curt 'no'. "You will be returning to Quantico tomorrow. I'll contact HQ for the ride."

Without glancing at my way, the leader of the BAU left the office. I winced at the slamming door. He left probably to take care of the aftermath I created with Johns.

I sat silently, not daring to look at the faces of my colleagues.

"It's better than bottling up," Morgan finally said. I blinked at him. "At least you didn't punch him in the face," he grinned to make me feel better.

"I would've punched him in the face," Prentiss chuckled.

"I nearly did," Reid shrugged nonchalantly.

"'We' nearly did," JJ corrected the younger man.

Your hands swept your face. 'We'. It was like lightning had struck in my head.

"We." Everyone looked at me strangely as I blinked dumbfoundedly. "We. Us. Plural."

"F/N?" JJ called me worriedly.

Yeah, I was talking like a broken robot. But everything was jumbled in my head.

"All of us." Eric's words echoed. "It's the town." I looked up at my teammates. "We're against the townspeople."

"You think people are hiding UnSub even though they know who?" Morgan frowned. His eyes quickly skimmed through the list of names and checked their alibies that were written next.

"That and even helping UnSub find a way to access their places." I stood in front of the whiteboard full of photos. I skimmed through the front and turned the board. There were lists of people who attended School Reunion. Next to each name, there were photos of them, including the bullies and mine. 74 attended, and 46 still live in the town or near the town.

"We have alibies for all of them?"

Reid stood next to me. "Each number," he pointed 1,2,3 and 4 next to each name, "means the time of the victim's death. If the number is crossed, it means they don't have an alibi." Each of the 46 names had an alibi or two for each case.

"28 of them didn't return to the town after the reunion," I muttered as I went that through with JJ. "Did we check if the witnesses of them were outside of the town?" I turned to JJ. I felt guilty asking. I felt I was too absorbed with self-pity during the case rather than helping the team.

"Yeah. Many of the witnesses were from workplaces."

"You think the town is covering for each other," Rossi hummed as he leaned towards the whiteboard.

"It feels like the McElroy case from 1956. The victim was a known criminal but bailed out. Later, someone shot him to death," Reid said. "No one was found guilty, but a relative of the victim sued the town. They say the townspeople's attitude was that 'he deserves to die'," he finished.

"It's a possibility. But if that's true, unless we crack someone, we'll have more bodies."

I looked at the second whiteboard where Prentiss drew a relationship between bullies and important figures. I really should refer to them as 'victims', not 'bullies'. Maybe if I had done that in the first place, I should've distanced myself from the case and focused on it more when Aaron suggested. Oh, the ship had sailed already, even if I regret it now.

"Let's say your theory is correct," Prentiss tapped the name of a man under Thomas Kirvy. "Logan Kirvy, the father of Thomas and Eric brothers, once worked at Wilson Security Service. So, he could've helped the UnSub easily to kill Williams."

"Do you think he might have had a key or code to access the security?" I asked, not really knowing how the security company works.

"The company told us they have to submit every key that was provided and checked thoroughly. If they worked with passwords or other forms of encryption, the company changes so retired workers wouldn't abuse it," Morgan explained how the security worked with the retirees.

"Now what?" I pulled my hair in frustration.

I flinched as Rossi put his hand on my shoulder. "Now we start with the witnesses and crack their alibies. While doing so, now we 'officially' know Johns and Rodriguez were friends with the victims, we warn them."

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Sorry you already said you are tired of this but I just wanted to say that, it's crazy how different our experiences can be depending on the social media we are using. I mostly use twitter and tiktok and you guys here talking about how often you get "Levi loved Erwin but Erwin didn't love Levi" asks and takes but on tiktok I often see "Levi just admired Erwin as a commander and a genius not everything has to be a romantic love" takes on tiktok xD they really act so dramatic "finally someone who understands Levi and Erwin's relationship!!!!! it's not love it's admiration and respect omg!!!!" sure Jan

History books will say they were just really good friends xD

LMAO Oh we used to get plenty of the "they were just good friends" Anons too! They tended to be a bit more disingenuous. They often started "I'm an Eruri but..." and you just knew they were bait. I even had a fishing gif I used to answer them with!

We had one Anon who we called Military Wife who used to send multiple "Anons" along the lines of "I'm a military wife and Erwin and Levi's relationship is typical of commander and subordinate", or "My husband served in blah and these bonds are typical of men in the forces." Riiiiiight.... Somehow I'm not surprised that these hot takes are popular on TikTok and Twitter.

At least we know they really were "good friends" in the traditional sense 😁

[superwholockian93]

So I started season 2 of 911 Fox and have watched 7 ep so far:

Eddie is in this season! and holy shit it wasn't a fan edit where he puts on the shirt to that what a man song? in a slo-mo with Buck turning around to look at him

Why did Buck dislike him? I still don't get it. Anyway it barely lasted. That anger seemed so forced lol

I love Chim's storyline this season? Esp when he tells Hen why he wants to win the calendar thing and later with the ex-fiance thing

I love Athena and Bobby. Whenever they are on screen together, I'm like Parents :D

I miss Abby :(

The cheese is less so far and I love the eps?

I love that Athena is raising her kids with her best friend and they both have other people to enjoy their lives with

Is it a bit not funny that Buck and Eddie have (had?) love interests women with an ailing mother

I love Hen and Chim's friendship (dunno if I mentioned it in the last post)

Let's talk about Buddie (what is this name xD) that I had only ever seen in passing multiple times on the dashboard in the form of GIFs over the years (so pretty much everything about the show is unknown to me)

Buck, who loves kids, meets a single dad whom he dislikes at the beginning which is too shortlived and they get along

It's funny that in their initial 'bonding' moments, Eddie says something like 'I think you could have my back' and Buck is like 'you- you mine' or whatever and not too many ep later, Eddie tells his wife 'you didn't have my back' and she responds similarly like???

(Also that gym scene where Buck is trying to compete with Eddie was so embarrassing! The second hand embarrassment was hiiigh)

I have a poor memory so I am just blanking but like so much of it already is like Eddie needs someone who will help him take care of his son, Eddie has no one- and right after there is Buck silently? unasked helping out Eddie and that Buck is obviously that person like wth?

That scene where Christopher slides down the pole and Eddie and Buck are next to him and Buck's like very-dad potential is all I am saying

I was expecting for the show to take a while to get there for me to board the train when I actually started the show and instead wow

I still cannot get over how much of it is already like single dad is having a hard time raising son and then there is the new co-worker who is like 'I love kids :D' and I have watched a lot of shows and movies in many languages where it generally signals that is the real love interest

Season 1

[omaano]

I think I got this ask from @the-nerdiest-writer but I cannot see it anywhere outside of my email inbox?

I'm so so glad you like this AU! I will never get over how people seem to enjoy it so much! ���💕

I am trying to keep the characters varied as much as I can, since I am somewhat limited in how I can depict them in their generally stationary "standing around and just chatting" poses. So originally I didn't even plan on adding any clone wars characters, but then the project grew legs and ran away from me. I tried to write up a list at the end of last year about all the characters I want to include at some point (and here is to hoping that my attention lasts that long 🤞) and I do have Echo-and-Fives on that list (so, yes, I don't know better and want to add even more clones to this! But at the same time I'm also itching to add someone next who wears either different armor or some actual flowy fabric on their person for once!) as well as Omega, because I love her and her potential (and because I really should draw more female characters) although she is more of a suggestion than me having any concrete idea where she would even appear and how and at what age. (It's already weird to have Boba from TBoBF and Rex and Cody as they look in TCW XD just don't think about all that too hard) (Also I haven't yet watched The Bad Batch past episode 7(?) yet? The one where Rex has his first cameo. Like, the most I know about that show is through gifs from here ^^; I'm very bad at catching up with Star Wars shows 😬)

Thank you so much for this ask! ❤️

[h-c-u]

Hey girlie,

It's your fave reader, sending you lots of healing energy!

My question is based on your Not a Secret Toto story. Did he ever have a moment like during a weekend where he was staring at her from across the room or paddock and he was having a lil teenage boy moment on how to make the first move toward her?

I was wondering if Lewis or George hell even both of them gave him the pep talk

Hiiii <3

Not really :) He knew what he wanted and he just went for it. And even though she said no, he didn't give up (but in a respectful way!) Like he never said anything inappropriate, and he kept it strictly professional when other people were around.

And neither George nor Lewis realised what was going on; Toto and R managed to keep it from everyone (well - her friends and his kids knew that they're seeing someone, they just didn't know who)

BUT. SPOILERS BELOW:

I already had this idea for a while, and I will implement it, that both of them were caught on cameras just making heart eyes at each other or behaving not-at-all obvious when they were already together. And my friends fueled that, so credits for gifs and scenarios to them <3

When your gf is telling you on air your team did well and you have to turn around cause you're starting to blush:

When u see Ur gf entering the paddock, but you gotta stay cool, cause nobody knows:

And in his head he was def like "Good job, Toto, you kept ur face straight and def didn't show anything"

And after they go public someone will do a compilation of those moments and everyone will be like "How the hell we didn't realise...!?!?!?"

Cause during interview with R Toto would be like:

And during interviews with others he would be like:

And people will start to dig through EVERYTHING. And someone will notice that one time she had a facemask from Merc, but worn on the wrong side to hide the logo. And in some background pic someone will have her leaving Ritz Carlton IN THE MORNING. And that someone completely unrelated will have a pic of Toto's car photographed near her apartment in London... So the crumbs were there, people just didn't connect the dots. Wellllll.... 1 account did, but no one believed it and they made fun of it (Yes, I have plans for the owner of that account, and no, I'm not sharing them, cause it's gonna be a huge plotline).

Also - because of all the pics taken around the circuits, the drivers will have an internal contest to see who accidentally got the best pic of Toto and R in the background judged by Sebastian, Fernando and Kimi. And on the 1year anniversary of Toto and R revealing their relationship - it's gonna be repeated, but this time the fans on Instagram will judge xD And the photo with the highest number of likes will win(just to be clear, the reward will be just bragging rights xD) But imagine all the shennaningans (especially younger drivers) trying to secretly get the best pic of Toto and R.

Ok, enough with the rant xD Cause I kinda went off, sorry xD But I just love this story and universe, and I have A LOT planned for it xD

Love, G.

[languidlotus]

Tag someone you want to know better

I've been tagged by @wuxia-vanlifer! Thank you so much!

Favourite color: Green. Especially lime green. I know a lot of people dislike the colour, but...I love it. XD Also, I've grown to love pink even though I didn't used to. Especially darker shades.

Last song: I've been drawing while listening to cdrama soundtracks. The last song would have been 'Chilly' from the amazing Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms.

Last movie: I honestly don't remember. I do remember watching and really enjoying The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity, though!

Currently watching: I mean...

And this isn't even all of them, because I also have Dream of Chang'an (Stand by Me), Venus in the Sky, Lost You Forever, and the Bleach anime open and ready to watch. Also, I am rewatching Mysterious Lotus Casebook because I'm making lots and lots of gifs.

Currently reading: I don't really read much anymore. (I'm sure you can tell why. XD) I have @shamera's fic open to read, though! Just need to find the time.

Currently working on: I've finished the sketch for a Fang Duobing drawing and I'm hoping to get the lineart done today. (That way I can maybe paint it this weekend.)

I'll be drawing a companion Li Lianhua piece on the same paper once I'm done with that. I recently finished a Di Feisheng drawing, but I didn't like the paper I did it on so I don't know if I want to post it. I've finished the sketch and lineart for a drawing of Tinn from Laws of Attraction. I need to find time to colour that (with markers).

I also finished and lined characters from The Legend of Anle( 1) and Heroes (2). Colouring and painting always take me much more time, so I usually leave that till later/the weekend. Other than all the drawings I'm working on my protective!Fang Duobing gif collection. As of now we're at 112 gifs from 30 episodes.

Currently obsession: LOL. Mysterious Lotus Casebook. The fact I'm working on three drawings and have already finished 100+ gifs in like two weeks should be enough of a clue, I think.

As usual, I'll tag the last few people I either followed or became mutuals with: @heyyo-heyyo , @thefakefangirl , @khahahahahahah , @purplexedhuman , @wangxianbunnydoodles , @dancing-out-in-space

(Please play if you want to!)

And anyone who wants to participate!

[mokulule]

Tag appreciation for Catnip

I didn't get around to appreciate the tags some of you left on part 4 of Catnip, as well as say thank you for the replies that has been left. Just know, that I very much appreciate and read them, if you ask questions I will definitely answer them (Unless it's "can I please be added to the tag list", which is always a yes, I update the list before I post a new part, seems it worked this time with splitting the list up in parts and reblogging. If you follow me and aren't on the tag list you can block the extra reblogs with "taglist reblog", or you can block the relevant "taglist reblog part X" that you aren't on.) Also if you're absolutely not interested in these ramblings I usually tag them #chatter. Anyways onwards to appreciation:

For part 4 (the one were Jason has a good day and has an existential crisis over it)

@sweetlyclearchaos yes of course it's okay to reblog, I'm glad you're enjoying the story :D

This is a wonderful summary of the chapter from @brain-deadx0 and it made me laugh, thank you XD

@bucketorandomness I am so glad someone noticed my hard work linking things together! Finding the posts and making sure they link is such a bother. I found out the other day the "next" link between part 4 and 5 weren't working, and only because I realized people had been replying to part 4 to ask to be added to the taglist instead of part 5 ~sigh I'm glad you're enjoying Jason's struggles, it was just one of those happy accidents that evolved organically while writing and I'm having a lot of fun exploring that!

@someoddmix these tags made me smile so hard, because these were definitely my feelings while writing. These boys really need to hug already, but I'm not done playing with them re:part 5 which I hope you haven't missed.

Part 5 (if anyone missed it I'm making that a link for ease of finding it)

@moons-cat you absolutely made my day with that gif and those tags, worth all the grief of wrangling this hellsite, thank you ;D

@alienzil Thank you so much! I'm afraid we aren't entirely done with the angst, it's gonna get worse before it can get better I'm afraid, we will be getting to the fluff eventually though. Just need Jason to get Danny to hold still for a moment instead of running away which is easier said than doneXD

I have another small part ready for you all, just gotta motivate myself into wrangling tumblr.

[gonnahackyourheart]

I posted 102 times in 2022

6 posts created (6%)

96 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hacked-by-jake

@slow-hazel

@incorrectnessduskwood

@duskwoodraven

@gonnahackyourheart

I tagged 67 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#cleaning my drafts into queue - 59 posts

#fanfiction - 6 posts

#duskwood - 3 posts

#dan the man - 2 posts

#alan bloomgate - 2 posts

#so i am playing ep 10 - 2 posts

#finally playing duskwood for ep10 that i havent played yet - 1 post

#xd - 1 post

#🤣🤣 - 1 post

#ducks - 1 post

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#right? they're all anxions but still need to have regular photoshoots

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

😳

(get it, it’s a gif of aurora)

Phil x MC; group x MC

Word count: 799 Reading time: 00:03:11 (says Hemingwayapp)

A/N: I know the ending is rushed, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

(not the one im proud of, just getting it ot after a year)

You’d thought that Duskwood would welcome me with open arms. That I’d step out of the bus into sunny town and go and surprise my friends with a visit. No. It was pouring, the bus was late and my friends weren’t answering.

When I stepped onto the sidewalk near the town’s square, it was already dark. I hid in the opposite house’s entrance and checked my phone. Still no text. I didn’t tell anyone about my trip, I thought I’d surprise them. They planned to go to Aurora tonight, which seemed like a good opportunity to see everyone. So I decided to go right to the bar and try to find them there. Navigating through the town wasn’t that difficult, I had the town's map well memorised. I was in front of the bar in no time.

It was pretty busy at Aurora. I removed my wet coat at the entrance and looked around. There was no familiar face. Except one tall figure behind the bar. I wanted to ignore him and squeeze past him unnoticed, but as on cue, he turned his head towards the door. His shit-eating grin showed that he recognized me immediately. Well, he could know where everybody was.

He served a drink and walked over to me. “Hello beautiful. To what do I owe the pleasure?” “Hi Phil. I heard these woods are great for hikes, thought I’d try it.” “Let me know if you need someone to keep you company. Want a drink?” I nodded. He went away before I could say what I wanted. He was back in seconds. “On the house.” He winked at me as he put a drink in front of me. “How did I deserve that?” I asked. “You came all this way to visit me. I am flattered.” “Wow, am I that see-through?” I asked and sipped the drink. He correctly guessed what I liked, which was impressive. “Do you know where Jessy is?” “She’s in the booth in the corner with everybody else. She didn’t say you were coming” “Because she doesn’t know. You are not fighting anymore?” “We are working on it.” His eyes drifted off behind me for a moment. “I hope it’s not the last time I see you. You still owe me an autograph,” he reminded me of our last and only chat. I didn't have a chance to answer, because someone's arms wrapped around me. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you let me now?” “Jessy!” I gasped and hugged her back. “I wrote to you when I was near Duskwood, but nobody answered.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn't check my phone all evening. I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone!” “Wait, I don't want to leave my bag behind,” you pointed towards your backpack at the foot of the stool. She turned to Phil: “Hey, can they leave their bag in the back room?” Phil shrugged. “Fine with me.” “Great!” Jessy exclaimed, grabbed my bag and my hand, and pulled me towards the nearby door. “See you later,“ I threw in Phils direction. “Looking forward to it,” he gave me another wink and turned back to other customers.

It was more quiet in the backroom. Jessy put my bag next to the table. ”Don’t worry, it’s safe here. I hope Phil didn’t bother you.” “We barely talked.” She turned to me and grabbed my hands. “I am really happy you're here,” she beamed at me. “It’s so strange to see you before me. Now you are not only speech bubble anymore” “Well, you should get used to it, I wanna be here for two weeks.” I grinned at her. “That’s awesome.” She squeezed my hands. “But now you have to meet others.”

She led me into the back booth. Richy spotted us first and hopped out of his seat to spin me around. And then I traveled from his arms to another, greeting with everyone. They found me a seat in the middle. The conversation was light spirited from the start, nobody wanted to discuss events of the last two weeks. I felt very comfortable, right in the middle of their teasing and playful bickering. Richy was the one who dragged me onto the dancing floor. We chatted and danced till morning. Or rather Arora's closing hour, which was around one in the morning.

During the night I stole a glance towards the bar, to find Phil looking at me milliseconds later, smiling. ‘This trip will be interesting’ I tought. Then I averted my gaze back to the group. I was so grateful that I could be there with everyone. Sun smiled upon me, despite the rain.

3 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#4

Jake 🤗

4 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

7 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

What is with Donfort siblings and wanting help from me, calm down guys, there's three of you and only one of me! Gimme a break

7 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

11 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[castle-dominion]

castle 5x18 the wild rover

plot heavy episode, at least backstory heavy for ryan. I was SO excited during my family watch when I realized this was the episode. I'd seen gifs & read fics & I was stoked. I'll only be able to watch part of it today since I need to leave for work.

Me, a baker: Nice! The crime scene: Me: Not nice!

HOW did he say the name? Jordan can be a man... KB: Castle, I know nothing. Nothing is a dear friend of mine and this is not nothing.

He is SO defensive lol sleep interrogations XD KB: Who says I haven’t already?

Lots & lots of fabric EW CASTLE CRIME SCENE NOT EVEN DEAD MAN'S CUPCAKE BUT BLOOD SPATTER even tho there was likely none there

11.30 or 23.30? Good for him knowing his cars Haha dough. I thought esposito made that pun intentionally Quick maths? (why did I pluralize it?)

Only twice a week? Oh yeah lol this guy has access to all sorts of products & chemicals & machines as a baker.

Hey we get to see ryan's apartment! Jenny (O'Malley) Ryan: Which means you should probably … Me: *confused* Me: *FIGURES IT OUT AFTER I REMEMBER WHAT SORT OF DOCTOR THEY ARE GOING TO* It wouldn't be your fault hun, even if it is your problem. These two are so so cute. Ok I'm clipping that.

RC: I'm going to ignore that Maybe he was planning a new location

Ooh irish mob, remember finn rourke & detective slaughter & the previous episodes where anything was mentioned Ok so the way we count syllables is weird. Irish gaelic (gaelge) has two letters because it gives buffer room between consonants. S is often sh usually when followed by an e or an i or smth, & mh or bh are just like th or ch, it changes the way it is pronounced, usually to a v, sometimes to a w depending on where u are. It is pheonetic! Just a different language! This is the part of the episode I realized what we were watching!

She only knows his as jimmy the baker. She looks so anxious here.

Ryan is back good for him. RC: How did the thing go … with the uh, you know. Do the thing with the thing and give the thing to the doctor. I could clip that lmao ESPOSITO SHUT UP Clip this now His eyes He is not even really kissing her *slaps him twice* THIS WAS .. FUN Edit: someone has it already

lots of clips now heheheh

*asks esposito bc obv he would know*

Love the b plot "this is normal" Man looks mad Only sees bobby s now instead of earlier when he looked at the murder board FRIENDS BACK IN THE DAY? WHAT KIND OF CREW?

UNDERCOVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!? RC: I love complicated!

Why wouldn't you want to leave tho? for her? or for more? Clipping that too "cop"

"just the wife" bro? gay.

Of course he's heard of kevin ryan, even tho it has been 7 years, this is his case! They're impressed & esposito is mad that he didn't tell him

Why would you write down all your illegal stuff like that? I've met ppl who /want/ to make spreadsheets but don't, & ppl who write their stuff but in code Ryan acting like he still knows her, acting like he's still in the mob like "she wouldn't snitch"-- in fact it was weird how she kissed him like girl it has been seven years of COURSE he has moved on You left & she fell on hard times!? Oh no now he feels guilty/ Another jimmy who is a rat? She can... You only found her bc of phone records YOU walked away ryan He is protecting her Wow that's messed up a bit Like with the Ben kid, doesn't want to send someone in unprotected

SOD: Look at you, telling the truth. >:(

You? You are not on the crew bro Yeah BACK THEN not NOW Ryan ryan my dude careful, you don't know if your oconnell cover is still good

Clipping this quote: How long has law enforcement been after that bible? Fifteen? Twenty years? Huh? These guys are drug dealing parasites. When are you going to get another shot to wipe them all out? Look, you want the bible. We want Bobby S for murder. Siobhan wants to keep breathing. Everybody wins. I can do this.

not this one tho SOD: What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? KR: I was Fenton. I can be him again. SOD: Don’t get yourself killed on my account. KR: All right, yeah, you hate me. I get that and I deserve it. But do you want to be put in Witness Relocation or not? Yes or no? SOD: nods. Agent Walker: Detective? Were you serious about that offer? KR turns to him. He thinks for a second & then nods.

Yeah 7 years is a long time bro, he's right course there's a new heirarchy thats how things work they change over time like seven years Martha acting lessons Sad, his wife won't kiss him goodbye Castle & esposito & beckett too watching him in there getting an ID card Nooo they are cutting his hair Wow ugly hair but hey nice outfit, even if it doesn't look like smth he usually wears But I legit cut my own hair a few days after this episode & we actually have similar hair again XD The "I am fenton o'connell" lines throughout that was hhhh I am clipping this right now right now lsdjfskdfj but I have to get ready for work in 15 minutes edit:

I clipped it but I didn't have to

Love how esposito is the taxi driver lol also question: what if he was walking down the street one day & saw someone from the old crew? What then? I mean it's new york nobody looks at anybody but still Of COURSE you don't like it

JE: (sighs) I don’t like this, bro. You don’t have a wire. No locator. ((but u have a cell phone that they can track right?)) KR: If I did, Bobby S would find it. This is the way it’s gotta be, man. ((I haven’t mentioned yet but I like how they call him bobby s, maybe there is a bobby r or a bobby m somewhere)) JE: What’s the name of Agent Walker’s informants who’ll vouch for you? KR: The Mason brothers. Matt and Tony. JE: Where did you do your last stretch? ((interrogating him lol, but r u allowed to know this?)) KR: Elmira, for man 1. Can even tell you my cell number. I know what I’m doing, okay? JE: isn’t convinced. JE: What about Siobhan? KR: Our plan is solid. (he nods like he’s convincing himself, too) I got this. KR: hands him so cash to keep his cover. KR: See you on the other side, partner. JE: Mm-hmm.

Called Kelly's but Siobhan owns it lol also, nice place, must actually run nicely, owning a bar or restaurant takes a lot of work

Tbh it looks like nobody recognizes him. Like he expects to be recognized (after seven years) & ppl are like "what are you standing there for?" not "do I know you?" Oh & NOW people are recognizing him

Siobhan meeting again but pretending it is the first time in years lol. Clipping the punch As long as she keeps her hands off of me

Pushes him back a bit & trying to touch her Maggie got married since u knew her (so siobhan maybe "fenton" got married since you knew him, why would you assume that you can still kiss him after all this time?) How much of that was acting? bc they've already met each other again so they can't just "be" themselves they need to meet each other & then they can be who they are. also funny how she is literally an fbi informant & she was mad that he was a cop

Finally back & able to finish this after like a week ugh & it's already 11.30 bc I couldn't wake up

JE: I’m telling you, man. He’s not the Ryan I know. And I’m not just talking about the haircut and the clothes. It’s like he’s a different dude. ((That's the point)) RC: That’s what he’s supposed to be. He’s in character. He’s Fenton. That’s good. JE: Yeah, but what if he’s not good enough? After seven years he’s gotta be rusty. And these Staten Island boys are no joke. ((That is a good argument...)) Don't want to clip this, but I COULD

Define Yonkers what if it was NOT bobby s tho?

So valid bestie (not clipping it but yeah I NEVER take my phone in when I go to confession. But why was it on when he handed it to liam?) "What'll the missus think?" you know what? I WILL clip this. he's such a Different Person

Bobby is SO pissed at fenton He knows... btw what is up with the accent? I can't tell but it's def there Who's Ben Gideon? Ah & there is where the mason brothers come into play

Wild Rover from the song he was always a rat lmao btw my man has some weird glass sculptures that are shaped like guns & it is,,, something alright Prodigal son? Irish catholics my beloved this is going to be clipped right here Liam SO wants to lol HOLY CRAP trust, brotherhood, fuck-ed-up-ed-ness, this is great. He looks so "hhhh" once he hugs him & liam is just there & omg sdjfah

That wink he gives to siobhan, I could clip that if I wasn't low on time

Clippin this tho If I wasn't watching this with my family I would have literally pulled out my bible from my jeanjacket pocket to find this verse but I knew what it was going to be. But seriously who has them memorized? I only have, like, three verses memorized IF that. this is the day that the lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it psalm 118:4 & the lord said "let there be light" & light was made genesis 1:3 Only the wicked run when there is no-one chasing them; the righteous are as bold as a lion proverbs 28:1 except I didn't know the corresponding verse for that last one. & ofc everyone knows the corinthians one about love, 1:13, & that one from John (I had to look it up bc I didn;t know the quote nor the verse but thankfully it is famous enough that I got it) 3:16

Check it out, as you should.

What's between these two? Oh wait yeah it is the problem with Jordan. RC:Ah. Perhaps Bobby S had an accomplice. A cold-blooded, murderous sheep. 14 grand? wowie. Yeah THAT was too much fiber, it was DEF planted.

How do you communicate?

Also it has been a night already at least, where is fenton staying? where was he staying before he waltzed into the bar? transcript is incorrect, it is "you know" not "yo" but w/e. Also ryan my man why take off your hood now? Man could use a hat, probs one of those hats that all my irish canadian shetland canadian french canadian ukranian canadian metis fiddle friends wear, it would fit in fine

Esposito hkhjdfkghfjh reminder to myself: talk about the clip when u post it bc there is too much to talk about jshskdjfhskjdhfsjkfhs

He loves her, honestly. But don't kiss her He got her a toy at a ring toss uwu "unlike you" but don't kiss her oh thank goodness

lmao he says waceway not raceway ALL OF THE METRO CARDS!?

I like how they are all old-style phones EXCEPT for his who's fast eddie? Also Liam just standing there (man looks good tho, I like his shirt) & btw when DID ryan learn to play such good pool? (I feel bad for the audio director battling with the visual director over the pool balls) These two REALLY ARE friends who's keane? Also why is liam allowed his phone? & keane just said there WAS a rat, he might have said "u got a rat but you were wrong abt who it was" bobby's eyes what went ALL the way around, was that on purpose? bc that's heck of math there hit the head? Is that another version of hit the hay?

walking right in, I thought For Sure someone would be there NO WHAT IF IT IS THE WRONG SAFE OH NO THE MONEY IS WRONG HE'S GOING TO NOTICE oh thank goodness he didn't look over to see if the bible was there, but he KNOWS smth is up

*o'connell leaves from that same room* who calls someone sport except for dads? Take a ride? Jesus carrying his own cross Ok THAT was sus af, but I mean, if I was a drug supplier then I would also be scared, even if I was not an undercover pig.

(I thought that was the time he did the thing, you know, got the thing off of liam & made the connection, but in the next scene esposito is calling him, calling ryan's phone ofc but still)

Why did Jenny come here? Did they call her here? Love, my dude. Ah yes, not one single reason, many of them Ah HERE is esposito on the phone

I realized this the other day & didn't have access to tumblr & I wasn't even watching but Ryan/fenton Asks Liam Out Loud

fenton/ryan is so short compared to liam also I was SO excited seeing this scene bc I had seen it before in gifs & stuff

Ok so she got nabbed by the cops two days ago so fenton has only been back for two days? they totally could have made this a two part episode. Anyway my point was two days ago & suddenly fenton oconnell shows up mysteriously again & is talking with siobhan, of COURSE they know he's in on it

Oh to PROVE he knew nothing heck man this is a heck of a story (also if he pulled it out of his waistband u know he had no bullet in the chamber & safety on, so you SHOULD check the gun.)

My man would shoot bobby s? a man fenton considered to be a friend even if ryan was trying to take him down? Is that... legal?

Siobhan saying that is not helping his case (& he cocks the gun but he really should not, JUST IN CASE it was already cocked & had a bullet in the chamber, you could have just clogged the gun.) & the music is so good

So... so shoot him yeah lol ofc it was empty

Why r u just giving away your full name lol b'y idk if u can place em under arrest when it is liam, keane, bobby s, & some other ppl too & then also reverse pick pockets? voice so deep when he yells, love it, & calls him javi, I've seen a clip of this so I know it exists & I don't need to clip it myself but I'm tempted to. Maybe later if I don't have to give back these CDs as soon as I thought. Edit: found a clip

that moment of fear,,,, hoo

esposito's gun lol He just knows she's on the other side? Castle just there lmao

ngl I half expected ryan to kiss bobby s. Judas betrayed jesus with a kiss. (& for the last time, judas did not want jesus to die, he just wanted to get jesus away from this town bc there were problems brewing, judas was the finance guy of the disciples, he got mad about mary maggie using perfume on jesus's feet instead of selling it & giving the money to the poor, judas was not the evil double crosser ppl make him out to be) ryan looks almost sad sending bobby away & seeing siobhan. edit:

Also is it freaking dawn? Lucky ryan, changing back into a suit, not only that but a matching three piece suit. He is going overboard in that direction to feel more like himself instead of going no vest just tie or no tie just vest, or jeans no dress pants, or dress pants with a random jacket, this man wanted it to be on the far end of his style spectrum.

Castle & the football reminds me of that time castle Did Not catch the baseball & it crashed into smth & nobody acknowledged it

No like it-- what was it? What (from the diner) are you specifically apologizing for? The tone? not listening? What specifically was the apology in reference to?

Lady macbeth lol & that's why liam was so loyal even after this

No what is jordan ABOUT? Bro I thought james bonde & your dad's book inspired you to be a writer. Markiplier moments. Holding her <3 He remembers his name bc you told him bro

SOD: I was hoping you’d come. KR: I wanted to say goodbye this time. SOD: Goodbye makes me feel like I’ll never see you again. KR: You won’t. ((OOF)) *her face falls, but she knows it has to happen* KR: Tomorrow you’ll be in a new city. Have a new name. You’ll get to start over again. SOD: Why did you do this? Risk your life for me? KR: You know why. SOD, nodding sadly: This Kevin Ryan guy? I wish I would have met him sooner. KR: laughs She leans in to kiss his cheek. He knows he has to leave, and he doesn’t look back when he does. She sighs heavily before she gets back to packing

Also his coat with the collar like that? nice

Finally back home! lmao the music sdjfhsjdfskldfklsdjf clipping this now this is great & fun She's pregnant I'm so happy for them! I am afraid of the passage of time but I am so happy for them! hsdjakhsdkjhfjdh & they are so adorable

What a great great episode! It totally could have been a two-part-er imo, but the alexis kidnapping one took precedent & tbh that's valid. I just really enjoyed this one. As did most of the fandom.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Little rant that I promise has a point:

I stopped watching Stranger Things halfway through season 3... I tried TWICE to continue watching it but somehow I just lost interest, like, I love Robin and Steve and Dustin and Hopper and the whole gang and the plot was interesting, but I just wasn't in the mood to keep watching it so I didn't.. I have a pretty good idea of what happens though (thank you random bloggers who post the plot through gifs and edits, you are the backbone of fandoms and the reason I know lots of things about lots of fandoms).

Anyway, so, I didn't see any eps with Eddie, like, cero. I know who he is, what he does, his ending... So when I started seeing Steddie as a ship I was like, yeah they look cute together ngl, next.

And it's been like that for some time now, until recently when you started reblogging tons of steddie things that my interest was picked, so I started reading some of the ffs you reblog and loving some fanarts...

And what can I say, I'm a hardcore shipper now, you turned me into a Steddie shipper hahahah I am motivated to watch the rest of the show just to meet Eddie and see firsthand his interactions with Steve and the gang.

So thank you I guess 😂 and if anyone ever tells you that you reblog too much about x topic or whatever just know that you reblogs made me ship them so yeah, keep up the great work hahaha

Tl;dr you made me ship Steddie through all your reblogs and I am going to actually see the last season to fangirl about them a little hahaha

I cannot tell you how excited that makes me. And how much relief I feel that my reblogging all this Steddie and ST content has reached someone I follow <3 because I do worry xD I can't help it. I've been working on a very long dual-story fic for Steddie the past two months and reblogging all the other wonderful content here is the only way I've been able to scream about the ship. There is some serious A-Game writers and artists that are focused on them, there's a lot to enjoy for something that's only been a thing for like a year.

But thank you so much for telling me all of this 😭💕 I love hearing that I've converted people, it's such a badge of pride for me no matter the fandom. C: Season 04 is a _trip_ and I really enjoyed watching it even the first time through last year, so I hope you enjoy it just as much! (It's also kind of nice that you already know how it ends for Eddie, so there's no surprises, but tbh I have a lot of theories about that and what is going to happen in season 05 so... clown nose and shoes activated).

ANYWAY -- thankyouthankyouthankyou and you're welcome xD I have a lot more ST and Steddie stuff queued up and more is being written everyday so it won't be stopping any time soon 😊 and eventually my fic will join the roster once it's done. Thank you for your kind words and making me feel better about flailing about these two dumb boys. It's my favorite pastime xD dumb boys in love

[kitkatwinchester]

...what the F*CK?!

I'm sorry....EXCUSE me?!

The F*CK?!

That's...

I don't...

The F*CK?!

HOW does that happen?

What on EARTH kind of spell work does THAT?!

Nothing I've seen in this show as of yet.

UNTIL NOW APPARENTLY!

Ummm...

I mean...

This isn't necessarily...a BAD thing, right?

Like.

Okay, I'm sure there's a catch, because why would Kate do that if there wasn't more to her plan than just de-aging Derek Hale. Like, there HAS to be some sort of bad reasoning behind this.

But also....wtf?!

Yeah that's all I've got. Just...wtf.

Wtf happened to Derek?

Wtf attacked the car?

Wtf was the thing attacking Braeden and Scott?

With Derek, what happened, and HOW?! Like...okay? This is gonna be an interesting one to explain. And figure out. Because wtf. Although, that said, I can already see how this is going to DRASTICALLY change the dynamics between Derek and the rest of the pack and I am already here for the comedy that will no doubt ensue. XD

Then there's the car. Like, my initial theory was that the thing that Malia and Kira ran after was were-jaguar Kate, which it definitely could've been, but that doesn't explain the tooth/claw that got caught in Stiles's tire, because that looked WAY too big for a jaguar (though, as an aside, were-jaguar certainly makes sense for Kate, gotta say...). Also, since I'm here, shout-out to that adorableness between Stiles and Malia. Like, loved the Stydia moment with the sass and the fixing of the jeep and the "Kira, go! Stiles, focus!", but honestly, not as much as I loved Stiles's absolute concern over Malia running off, and then, after the jeep was fixed, the pure shock, then pride, then slight disappointment on his face when she said she would never leave him, but would immediately leave any of the others... XD <3 ...okay okay, you got me. I'm a Stalia shipper. Feel better, Teen Wolf? XD I'm still gonna wait anxiously for Stydia to go canon, but until then...I'll happily take Stalia. XD <3 <3

And then as far as the thing in the church... Look, that thing was not human, and it was not a werewolf, and I don't know what the F*CK it was, but I didn't like it. Though, that said, YES Scott, with your True Alpha roar! I love you! Braeden being all like "Scott get back this thing is bad" and Scott being all like "yeah, but I'm worse" and then just roaring up a storm--we love him. We love this man so much. <3

Anyways!

That episode was honestly so freaking good, and it makes me feel like the rest of the show really will be able to keep up the amazing work and energy that went into Season 3b. Like, I honestly think I was subconsciously stalling starting Season 4 a little bit, because I was worried it wouldn't live up, but it TOTALLY already does! This is honestly probably my favorite season premiere thus far, and I'm REALLY excited to see where the rest of the season goes.

I am also up WAY later than I should be, given that I'm supposed to be awake in four and a half hours, but you know what? Soooo worth it.

I freaking love this show. <3

More Season 4 tomorrow! <3 <3 <3

(Adorable and really cool Stalia gif of that quote that someone made because OKAY YOU GOT ME I LIKE THEM. <3 <3 <3 <3)

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Oop uuh ohhh o.o

Dealing with politics in a TV show is uncomfortably reminiscent of real life right now xdd

Probably not lol

Imagine if she did XD

Well at least she's being civil

Hmmm but also no witnesses xdd

Not like I think she's gonna kill you lol

I don't think that's gonna work honey :((( grief is crazy

She's already had her taken, idk if this'll help :(( I hope but

Personally I would be writing that stuff down not recording it but yk lol

Maybe she wanted to send her a video specifically :))

Awww

LOL

xD Karen

So real

Awww :')))

If she says something like so was my son I'm gonna lose it-

Imagine if she did have compassion rn 😭 and this was all over 😭 consider xdd what then 😭

Aww yeah :'( :')))

It helped her live again <33

True :'((

I don't think it'll work but-

YEP 😭😭😭🥺🥺

Yeah but you're an ADULT who had her child (and it's awful and I'm sorry and no one should have to deal with it but that's besides the point), this is a CHILD who needs her PARENTS

SHE 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 CHILD 👏👏👏!!

I'm gonna lose it <3

Good staying calm Hen I'm losing it lol

She really would :((

She's always been sorry that someone died even if she was angry with him

Oop 😬

Roughhh

Girl I know you're grieving but also I hate you <33

Oope o.o

OH HEEECKKK NO

I KNEW IT

Wait girl you didn't know O.O

Gonna screeeeam 🥰🥰🥰

Hate him hate her hat everybody (not everybody) 🥳🥳

At least he's funny sometimes even if he's awful 😑

Ope okay we're transitioning here but same music- kinda messing with me lol

Aww Bobby :((

Ope hi Hen :o

Guess that's why the music transitions

Can we start a secret plan to take her down :D please :D

A little difficult since she's like a fr politician not just in your work but yk we'll make it work-

Ahh three times is like the number of serious lol

Aww this little apartment :'/ :') they do need a house back <3

He doesn't sound happy about itttt lol

I mean I know he's not but xD

I mean yeah but also-

Yes she's the problem but he does suck-

(for context I paused)

Oh wait she's probably gonna say he's not her captain lol-

Yep xD

Ahh yeah fair ://

Although yeah he did resign he just hadn't left yet

Oop o.o

I forget that like they don't know that's probably the reason

Gosh a deep dive 😳😬

I hate herrr 🥰🥰🥰

Councilwoman Ortiz lol

Yeah true!!

OPE WHAT HELLO

Hi Buck :O

Ohh okay

Bobby like, having straight up sessions with the 118 and got that patient confidentiality between each: 🥲

Oh gosh Buck

Yeah ://

I

HELLO???!?!

BOBBY'S FACE XDDD 💀 EXACTLY!!

I know that's not what he means but 💀 O.O

(I will say I saw that as a gif and I was like H U H O.O knowing what he probably meant and also hoping it was played as that and I wasn't just crazy xD I was pretty sure by now but nice to know for sure lol)

Thank you for the immediate clarification Buck 😭😭 SLFJFHDKS XDD

Gosh that was crazy

See I just wanna know how we go from all this serious stuff (probably not getting solved in the next 20 minutes lol) to a Halloween episode next week 💀 xD

Next episode that is

LOL fair xD

I mean technically he can quit

Fair Buck, that sucks :((!

You shouldn't be out in that position, and it sucks because everyone's going through it so you probably feel guilty too

Like through it in a different way, not being the favorite lol

Exactly Bobby :(( but it's not about what should be, it's about what is

SDKLFJDHKS WAIT STOP EDDIE'S HERE TOO XDDD OH MY GOSH THAT'S AMAZING LOL

I know Chim probably won't be since these are the established stories so far this episode but like hey, there's stuff with Mara he could slip in for xD

Awww Eddie yeah :(( exactly, that must suck

I'm sorry Eddie 😭😭

AWWWW HONEYYY 😭😭

And still calling him cap :'(((

That just sucks xdd 😭😭😭🥺💔

I'm so sorry Eddie :'((

I'm glad you want to respect his wishes and he deserves that but it just sucks for both of you :(( I'm sure he misses you too

Ope?

BOBBY XD LOL

Is he trying to lighten the mood or just slip it in there while he can xD

Aww Eddie's tone LOL

ADLFJDKHGAJKS CHIMNEY IS HERE!!!

Oh my gosh this is amazing xD

Poor Bobby going through all of these like 👁️👄👁️

All talking about different but juuust slightly related issues xD

LOL he's talking about the house 💀 xD

Exactlyyy

True!!

NOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH IT XD

Like needing your guys' own house xD

Also a little rude to bring it back to you Chimney unless that was the original intention

But still lol

Ohhh interesting interesting :o

That's good information to know

Maybe he'll die xdd or get injured

I mean though we did try that already 😭

Also the Ortiz thing though

Lol Bobby's head following his xD

LOL the impression Chimney 💀💀 XD

Because he knows facts- BECAUSE BUCK IS DUMB 💀💀💀😭😭🥺 RUDE CHIMNEY

Kinda right sometimes but he's just a little silly goofy 😭 Buck is very smart <333

Maybe it's just that he doesn't seem like it xD

Crazy thing to say though kinda funny but 😭 XD

[thatonewriter15]

I knew I was in trouble simply from your teasing of this piece, and that gif choice confirmed it all before I even began reading! xD<3

But then I started reading, and oh, my gosssssh.

Didn't even make it to the second paragraph before I became a puddle.

Despite his appearance (although a very attractive one you had to admit) and his very I don’t give a fuck attitude he sometimes gave off, he was genuinely one of the nicest, funniest, charismatic, loving, and selfless people that you have ever met in your entire life. He was just someone that wanted more than anything to love someone (to be loved by someone) – and craved touch.

Calling her Sunshine?! I was already a liquid, ma'am...! xD

he would later come to start calling you Sunshine as he considered you the light of his life in his ever so present and consistent cloudy days he called his life

...And this line, specifically, made my heart ache:

“He’s sitting right in front of you Sunshine,” he had desperately wanted to say to you.

Dean worried that he would bother her and Sam insisting he could never bother her--that hit me so hard.

She bakes for him. SHE. BAKES. FOR. HIM.

...And him coming into the kitchen while she's in the middle of doing so, and her lighting up at his presence, and the "Hey, you." Are you actually in my head?!

The parallel of them each lying in their respective beds while talking things out/mustering up courage was like something out of a movie! I could see those back-and-forth flashes so easily.

This portion both pulled at my heart and caused it to beat faster:

Dean looked at you before looking at your hand. It amazed him each and every time how soft they had felt whenever you touched him. God, what I’d do to feel your hands all over.

And a successful, sweet ending! What a wonderful ride. <3

Mutual Pining

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Fem!Reader

Summary: Dean and you are in love with each other, and it's obvious to everyone but the two of you

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Cursing (10x), Mutual Pining, Fluff

Authors Note: Switches between reader and Deans “POV” but still written in the third person | This came out a lot longer than I thought, but I loved the way it turned out! I hope you guys do too! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

For as long as you’ve known Dean, he has always been incredibly nice to you, which initially surprised you given his gruff exterior. Growing up, you were always told to never judge a book by its cover, and things aren’t always what they seem to be; and you had felt that this truly applied to Dean. Despite his appearance (although a very attractive one you had to admit) and his very I don’t give a fuck attitude he sometimes gave off, he was genuinely one of the nicest, funniest, charismatic, loving, and selfless people that you have ever met in your entire life. He was just someone that wanted more than anything to love someone (to be loved by someone) – and craved touch.

He was a catch in all senses of the word: he was smart, sexy, cute, he could sing (well not good, but at least he liked doing karaoke!), he could cook and bake (you were teaching him a lot about baking lately, even though he did already know a thing or two), he was handy (both when it came to cars and household maintenance), and he was a nerd (Star Wars, horror movies, Star Trek, cartoons, you name it). For as long as you had known him, it amazed you that someone hadn’t snatched him up yet. Well, you knew about some of these instances (Cassie or Lisa for example), but Dean seemed to be under the impression that the reason it never seemed to work out with these women is because of the job, or he would blame himself. “I just don’t think you found the right woman yet.” You had told him. This had earned you a weird look from Dean, and since then, you hadn’t given your two cents into his love life, despite being one of his closest confidants.

For as long as Dean has known you, you’ve always been incredibly nice to him; even when he knew he didn’t deserve it. When he had met you years ago, it took him by surprise to find out that you were a hunter given your exterior and extremely bubbling personality and positive energy that you radiated (he would later come to start calling you Sunshine as he considered you the light of his life in his ever so present and consistent cloudy days he called his life). “Just because you’re a hunter, doesn’t mean you have to be depressed all the time.” You had said to him. “But we’ve all witnessed and endured horrible things. Don’t know how you can still be so happy.” He had said back to you. You had simply shrugged stating, “You have your way of coping, and I have mine.” What Dean had initially thought that he hated about you (you being that Ray of Sunshine) had actually grown into something that he would love and appreciate about you.

Something that he always tended to carry in the back of his mind is quote that you had frequently said: Never judge a book by its cover, and things aren’t always what they seem to be; and he felt that your quote really did apply to you. Despite the type of energy that you give off, and despite your colorful array of clothing, you were genuinely one of the best hunters that he has ever met or worked with in his life.

You were a catch in all senses of the word. You were smart, cunning, funny, cute, sexy (even when you weren’t even remotely trying to be). You knew how to cook and bake (he was particularly fond of your peach and apple pies that you had made), you could sing (despite you saying how awful you were, your voice had sounded like honey to him), and you knew how to shoot a gun almost as good as him (in reality, you were probably a much better shot, but he would never admit that). It amazed him that you hadn’t settled down yet, even though he knew that was something that you had wanted to do at some point in your life. “I guess I just haven’t found the right yet guy. Just like how you haven’t found the right woman yet.” You had told him. “He’s sitting right in front of you Sunshine,” he had desperately wanted to say to you.

It was a lazy Sunday at the Bunker, and since there was no cases you had decided that you were going to do some baking today. You had promised Dean that you would him your famous peach and apple pie sometime this week, and since that was something you promised him last Tuesday, you were getting near close to almost falling through with your promise – something that you didn’t want to do, especially when it came to Dean.

Dean didn’t ask for much. So when he asked ever so politely if you could make this for him adding “no rush of course” at the end of his request, you were more than happy to oblige. This man has saved your ass more times than you could possibly count, and never asked for anything in return. So, the least you could do for the man was bake him a pie right?

Walking into the kitchen you were wearing your comfy clothes which consisted of a very faded AC/DC shirt that Dean had lent you they you had never given back (to be fair, he never asked for it back), a plain hot pink sweatshirt, black sweatpants and hot pink fuzzy socks.

Rolling up your sleeves, you walked over to the cabinet to grab everything they you would need in order to make the pie for Dean. Technically speaking, you were making the pie for everyone to enjoy, but you knew the second Dean for a whiff of the peachy and appley goodness, he would most likely hoard this (not that you had a problem with that, you were happy that he enjoyed your cooking and baking that much).

Placing your phone on the counter, you decided to play some music, picking the playlist you had rightfully named “Baking/Cooking Jams” (pun intended), so the quietness didn’t seem so eerie to you. You didn’t like the quiet at times, but you had such fond memories of singing along and dancing along to the music when you were a little girl in the kitchen with your mom or grandma.

One of the things that you appreciated, was the fact that none of the boys made fun of you while you did this (not that it would have bothered you if they did), but you half expected one of them to say something. The closest any of them had gotten to “making fun” of or commenting on your dance moves or singing had come from Dean, and his comments which very complimentary. You were so thrown off, that at first you thought he was fucking with you.

It’s been almost a week since Dean had requested you make your famous peach and apple pie, and there was a part of him that was starting to get just a tad disappointed when you hadn’t made it yet. But one of the things that was holding him together, was the fact that you always kept your promises and followed through with them (it was one of the things that he loved about you. He had asked for the pie on Tuesday, and it was now Sunday. He had wanted to re-ask you, but decided against it because he didn’t want to seem pushy and he didn’t want to bother you with what he seemed to be a silly request. “You could never bother her Dean. Trust me.” Sam had told him numerous times.

As Dean walked down the hallway of the Bunker, he could hear the quiet sounds of your music coming from the kitchen. The only reason he knew that it was your music is because he recognized the current song that was playing as a part of “Baking/Cooking Jams” playlist (pun intended). He smiled, hoping that since you were listening to this playlist it meant that you were baking something - specifically, baking the pie that you had promised him.

Dean peaked his head into the kitchen and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight before him. You were bopping your head, quietly singing along, and shaking your shoulders to the music as you were lining a tin with your homemade pie crust. You were wearing your hot pink sweatshirt (something that he loved always seeing you wear) and your fuzzy socks (another thing that he secretly loved). Wonder what’s underneath. Hope it’s one of my shirts…or nothing at all…He thought to himself. No Dean, don’t think that way.

Almost as if you could read his mind (which he knew you couldn’t do and was extremely thankful that you couldn’t) you stopped your dancing and looked at him, giving him the biggest smile you could muster up. “Hey you!” Your voice sounded so cheerful, so inviting, it practically made him melt.

“Hey Sunshine.” He said, walking into the kitchen and making his way to the island. “Whatcha making?” He asked, as if he couldn’t tell from the fresh cut apples and peaches on the counter in front of him.

“Your favorite.” You smiled, alternating between placing the peaches and apples into the pie tin. “Sorry it took so long Dean.”

Your apology surprised him. “Why are you saying sorry?” He questioned; you literally had no reason to be apologizing to him right now.

“Well, I know you asked for this Tuesday and it’s Sunday now.” Your voice that was once full of joy, was now sounding almost slightly sad and embarrassed, almost as if you were disappointed in yourself. “I swear I didn’t forget. Got a bit sidetracked with research this week.” You looked down just then, finishing up with the filling.

“Hey.” He began to say and you looked up at him. “Please don’t apologize for something like that okay?” You nodded. “Need any help?”

You shook your head. “I’m good Dean. But thanks for the offer.” You said, placing the pie into the oven.

“It’ll be ready soonish.” You gave him a smile. He could sense that you were trying to go back to your joyful voice, but you seemed still slightly upset, despite you having no reason to be.

Although you said you didn’t need the help, Dean started to gather all of the dirty dishes that you had made while you were baking. “Dean, you don’t have to do that.” You said as you watched him bring all of the dishes into the sink.

He turned the faucet on and looked at you. “It’s the least I can do Y/N.”

“I would have done it.” You walked over to the sink, picking up a dish rag and started drying the dishes he was finished washing. He looked at you briefly before letting out a small chuckle. “What?”

“Sweetheart, no you wouldn’t have. You would have left the dishes in the sink and I would have come to clean them up anyway. I know you love baking and cooking, but you hate the clean up.” You had started to open your mouth to comment, but you knew what he had said to you was the truth. Yes, you didn’t mind doing dishes, but you hated doing a large amount of dishes.

“I see Y/N finally made you your pie.” Sam said, gesturing to the giant slice of pie that Dean came walking into the War Room with.

Dean walked over with the biggest smile on his face. “It’s her best one yet.” Dean said, mouth full of pie. He sat down across from Sam who was on his laptop. “I really do think the singing and dancing helps.”

“I don’t know why you just don’t tell her.” Sam said.

“She knows I like her singing and dancing.” Dean took a mouthful of pie and Sam couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his brother.

“I mean how you feel about her.” Sam’s comment had made Dean stop chewing his pie mid bite before he gulped it down.

Dean went to open his mouth, to say something, but he couldn’t think of anything clever or snarky to say. “I’ll pass.” He decided to say.

“You’ll…pass? What does that even mean?” For as long as Sam had been around you and Dean, it seemed completely obvious to everyone that you two had feelings for each other, but for some reason, it seemed like neither of you understood that you two had feelings for each other.

“I said, I’ll pass.” Dean repeated. “What about that can’t you wrap your head around?”

“Dean, you’ve been in love with Y/N since you’ve met her. Which, honestly, is quite a record.” Sam had never seen his brother be so in love with someone before, let alone being in love with someone for as long as he had been in love with you.

“Look Sam, she doesn’t like me in the way okay? I’ve made my peace with that. Why would I tell her that I love her if she doesn’t feel the same way? Sounds very silly to me.” Dean got up from his chair and walked out of the room with this now empty plate.

You were lying down on your bed with your laptop in front of you researching. You weren’t really researching anything in particular, just random things that had peaked your interest. As you were typing away, a small knock came from the other side of your door. “Who is it?” You asked.

“It’s Sam.”

“Come in!” You called back, the door opening and quickly shutting just as fast. You questioned the abruptness of the door. “Everything alright?”

“Peachy.” Sam replied. He pointed to the edge of your bed. “Can I sit?” You nodded.

“Did you get to try any of the pie yet? Or did Dean finish it already?” You joked, closing your laptop.

“No, not yet. He uh, he didn’t finish it yet shockingly.” Sam’s expression looked at you more serious now. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” You smiled.

“Have you ever thought about telling Dean how you feel?” His question seemed to be coming out of nowhere.

“I…No.” You had wanted to tell Dean more than anything how you felt about him, but you knew that he didn’t feel the same way about you. “Why would I tell Dean that I love him when I know for a fact that he doesn’t feel the same way? It’s a little silly don’t you think?” Sam couldn’t help but almost let out a laugh. You two really are meant for each other. Sam thought to himself.

“But what if, there actually is a chance that he loves you too?” Sam asked.

You laughed. “Don’t you think he would have told me by now?”

“What if he’s afraid of the same thing you are?”

“Meaning…?” You weren’t completely sure of the point that Sam was trying to make to you.

“Meaning, what if he loves you too but thinks that you don’t love him back?” You furrowed your brow at Sam’s question.

“Dean afraid of telling me how he feels?” You laughed. “He doesn’t love me Sammy, trust me. I know what he looks like when he’s in love, and that ain’t the same way he looks at me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Sam challenged.

Dean and you both were laying awake at night, thinking about the comments that Sam had said to the both of you. The both of you had similar thoughts in your minds: Does Dean really love me? Does Y/N really love me? Have I been reading the signals all wrong?

“Sam wouldn’t just bring that up if he didn’t say something right?” You said quietly aloud to yourself.

“Did Y/N say something to him?” Dean said quietly aloud to himself.

“I could easily ask him.” You said.

“No, no. I can’t just ask her.” Dean said.

“Sam’s fucking with me.” You and Dean said in unison.

“No…Sam wouldn’t do that.” You rationalized with yourself.

“No, Sam wouldn’t fuck with me like that.” Dean rationalized with himself.

“He’s literally right down the fucking hall. I could just…be hypothetical?” You questioned.

“It’s three in the morning. She’s probably sleeping.” He said.

“Fuck it.” You two said in unison, both practically jumping out of your beds.

You opened your door and started making your way down the hall. As you were walking, you were trying to keep your composure despite how nervous you were in that moment. “Don’t chicken out now Y/N.” You mumbled.

“Alright. You got this. You got this.” Dean mumbled. “Don’t be a pussy now.”

Your head was down, but just up enough to catch yourself if someone else was in the hallway. As you were walking you noticed Dean coming down the hallway, he seemed nervous and you wondered why.

“Fuck I can’t do this.” You whispered and started turning around back toward your room.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice had made you stop in your tracks, making you turn back toward him.

“Hey.” You tried to make your breath even. “What are…What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He replied.

“I asked you first.” You said.

“I…Wanted to talk to you.” He sounded so nervous.

“At three in the morning?” You questioned.

“Yeah I uh…You know what, this can wait till later.” He said, starting to turn back into the direction of his room.

For some reason you had found yourself running after him, like you were in some cheesy romcom that you both secretly loved. “Wait.” You grabbed his arm, and he almost spun back in your direction.

Dean looked at you before looking at your hand. It amazed him each and every time how soft they had felt whenever you touched him. God, what I’d do to feel your hands all over. He thought to himself. “What’s up?”

“Dean…” He watched you take a deep breath. You were nervous and he could tell. He had known you long enough to know what you were feeling by just your body language.

You removed your hand from his arm, and he already missed the contact. “Y/N?” He asked.

“I uh…Can we talk in your room?” You asked, and he found himself automatically nodding.

“Of course.” He gave you a smile, hoping that would comfort you in some way.

You didn’t realize how nervous you truly were until you had made your way into Dean’s room. You had been in his room numerous of times (even spending the night in here) and it always strangely gave you comfort, but not in this moment. It was one of the rare occurrences in which even the calmness his room usually gave you, ceased to help you.

Dean shut the door behind you, something that made you even more nervous. You weren’t afraid that the door was shut, a majority of the time you and him had been in your room or his room, the door was usually shut. “I can, I can leave it open if you want?” He almost questioned, gesturing toward the door.

“No. No. It’s fine.” You said. “Can I…Mind if I sit on your bed?” You asked. It felt strange asking to sit on his bed. In normal circumstances, you would have just walked into his room and just sat down, never asking if you could first. Something that you were now realizing, was that you were the only person that never had to ask if you could sit down on his bed - everyone else had to ask him.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” Dean sat down on the edge of his bed and patted the spot next to him, in which you hesitantly sat down.

Dean looked into your eyes as you sat down next to him, placing your hands on your thighs. You rubbed them up and down. It kills me to see how nervous you are. He thought to himself, so badly wanting to say it out loud to you. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m nervous.” You let out a small, nervous chuckle. It made his heart ache.

“I’m nervous too.” He said, hoping that it would make you somehow less nervous.

“Why are you nervous?” You asked. Crap. How do I answer that? He thought to himself.

“Probably for the same reason you are.” He looked at your face, looking for some kind of hint of what you possibly could be thinking.

“I highly doubt that.” You looked away, and folded your hands as if you were back in school, patiently waiting for the teacher to give you instructions.

It started to seem very evident to Dean now, that you were either nervous because Sam was right - you did in fact love him, or you were nervous because you were trying to figure out the best way to tell him that you didn’t feel the same way that he did about you. Either way, it scared him.

“I…I thought this would be easier somehow.” You admitted, after what seemed like a forever amount of silence between the two of you.

“I feel like I friggin teenager.” Dean joked, you knew he was trying his best to lighten the mood.

“Same here.” You gave him a nervous smile. “Um…Dean…” You took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to tell him, while at the same time, talking yourself out of telling him. “You know you’re my best friend right?”

“You know you’re my best friend right?” There is was, the sentence that he didn’t want to hear.

“Yeah.” He said, feeling his heart quickly sinking into the pit of his stomach.

“And you know I appreciate you more than anything.” You couldn’t even look at him; he wasn’t sure if that was better or worse somehow.

He reached out for your arm, gently grabbing it. “I appreciate you too Sweetheart. And I know I don’t tell you that enough.”

“Don’t be silly. You show me plenty.” Your statement was true, he may not have realized it, but there were plenty of times when he had found himself doing things to show you how much he truly cared and appreciated you, even when he didn’t outright tell you - you were the same way. You sighed. “Dean –”

“Before you say anything, I just want to tell you that whatever you say to me, our friendship is never gonna change. I won’t hate you. I could never hate you, okay?” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure you, or reassure himself in that moment.

“Here it goes then.” You took yet another deep breath.

“Fuck it.” You heard Dean mumble. Not even getting a second to react, his lips were suddenly on yours. His lips were just as soft as you had thought that they would be. Despite wanting to kiss him for as long as you had known him, you never thought that this is how your first kiss with him was going to go.

The kiss was quick, and not nearly as long as you had wanted it to be. He released his lips from yours and he stared at you blankly, almost embarrassed. “Sorry.” Dean said. “I uh…” He was actually speechless. “Shit.” He let go of your arms.

“Sammy was right.” He hears you mumble.

“What did my brother tell you?” He needed to know how badly the damage control was going to be, and how much he was going to kill his brother.

“He…He asked me if I um…If I ever thought about telling you how I feel.” So Sammy got to you too huh, Dean thought. “I told him that it would be silly of me to tell you how I felt because I knew you didn’t feel the same way.” You chuckled, nervously. “I guess…I guess I was wrong.”

“I told Sammy the same thing earlier.” He admitted. “As much as I wanted to tell you…” He trailed off, unsure of what he had wanted to say next, because there was so much he had wanted to say to you.

“You didn’t want to ruin our friendship in case I didn’t feel the same way.” You said, practically finishing his sentence for him. “I felt the same way. I mean, you know just as well as I do how hard it is to find people you can trust and rely on. I love both of you, and I didn’t want to say or do anything that would of fucked my relationship up with you guys.”

“So, what do we do now?” You asked, unsure of what was going to happen next. Just because the two of you had admitted your feelings for each other, doesn’t mean that you would actually do anything about it. As much as you had wanted to try out a relationship with Dean, you knew that he wasn’t much of the relationship type – then again, maybe it was because he hadn’t found the right person?

Dean looked over at the clock, noticing that it was almost 4:30 in the morning. He looked back over to you, almost looking too tired. “You spend the night in here with me. Or, morning in here with me.”

“And do what Dean?” You asked, curious as there could be a million things on his mind.

“Just lay here together…” He began to say, slightly pulling you in close. “Maybe cuddle…” He continued, leaning in slightly, inches away from your lips.

“Do some more kissing maybe…?” You whispered, slightly questioning. “Or are you too tired?”

“Hmmm, don’t think I’d ever be tired enough to not kiss you Sunshine.” He smiled tiredly, leaning in and kissing you again.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 If you would like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

[blanc-to-my-noir]

Daewon and Seunghoon in 별이 되어서 (feat. Minhyuk)

[aceofwhump]

I'm sorry if I sounded impatient or rude or anything, my Tumblr has been acting up all week and I just really thought it ate my Ask because it was too big or something. I totally understand the computer problems though, all too well. Sorry that happened.

I can’t believe other kids did it too. I’m still so shocked, I don’t know how to process that. It’s sooooo good to hear.

Dude, I’m currently obsessed with ‘Kevin (Probably) Saves The World’ and that’s where all my giffing is going into right now (if tumblr ever fixes the tags so my sets actually show up XP), I love it soooo much! And it’s so much fun to gif. X) And YES those gifs by whumpypepsigal are literally what got me here; I had no idea there was a whump community until I saw those amazing ‘Raising Dion’ sets and I found you all through that! I’m so thankful for that person for those sets. I had actually wanted to start writing fanfiction again for ‘Raising Dion’ specifically to whump Jason and to fix what they did with his character. XP Ahhhhhh and yes ‘The Event’ whump is sooooooo good I love Jason in there like AHHHH!!!!! His whole storyline in that episode is so fantastic I watch it over and over again and just live in content. XD Gosh but I could go on and on about Jason. :P

My sister is the only one that knows about me too, and she doesn’t fully understand it either, but she doesn’t judge me for it for now so I’m just holding on to that. If my mom knew, she’d probably think I was possessed by a demon or something for being sadistic. It’s really scary to think about. I’m really glad I can come here and chat with you about it and not feel alone.

Okay, so I’m a little confused; I looked up ‘Sexual Attraction’ and everything I read says it means ‘you find someone hot or pretty or attractive’, so I definitely have that with actors, but then other sites say it’s ‘wanting to have sex with that person’, which I definitely do NOT have. So am I asexual or am I not? And literally everything you described about Arousal is exactly me (especially the ‘TMI’ part, I’m really thankful you described it that way because I couldn’t possibly know how to describe it but it’s amazing to see it in words), so I’m confused again; if I’m not asexual and I still have these arousal feelings from whump, does that make me a sadist after all? I’m sorry if these are embarrassing questions to ask, I just don’t know who else to ask, and all my googling has been very confusing and not helpful. I find many, many actors hot and that’s what makes them whumpees for me, especially if they have really good screams or pained noises. And an equally attractive pained face. I’m really scared that I am a sadist.

It’s okay if you don’t want to answer these questions, I guess it’s kind of weird. I'm sorry.

Oh no you didn't! Not at all! Tumblr eats asks alllll the time so it's a legit concern :) We're good! Yeah my computer is super old so it gets temperamental sometimes and I can't afford a new one. Plus this one still has windows 7 and i love windows 7 lol. So I can just be slow sometimes to answer.

Nice! No one has ever even heard of Kevin Probably Saves the World but it was so good and I'm so bitter it was cancelled!! God Jason Ritter whump is the best. I love it.

Same! Doesn't get it but doesn't judge. It's nice. She's a writer who focuses on fluff but she now comes to me when she needs help with a whump scene lol. And omg yes my mom would be the same! She already thinks I'm a massive weirdo and a little fucked up based solely on what kinds of things I watch. If she knew my whump love I'd definitely be sent to therapy. So I totally understand that particular fear.

Oh god yeah it's all very confusing for sure. I do have a whole tag for asexual related things if you wanna check that out: https://aceofwhump.tumblr.com/tagged/asexual

That definition of sexual attraction always confused and bothered me when I see it on sites because I feel like that's not exactly it. So I think I'll start with a few definitions and explanations which I think might help.

For starters, sexual attraction and arousal/sex drive are two separate things. One can feel arousal without any sexual attraction and vice versa. Your sex drive and arousal is just your body going "I want sex". Sexual attraction is "I want sex with that person". Arosual can happen when your body is stimulated and doesn't have to have anything to do with attraction. Just like you can be attracted to someone but not have the drive to sleep with them.

Secondly asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual sexual attraction. That's it. That's the only "requirement". You might have a high libido/sex drive or no libido. Doesn't make a person any less or more ace. Personally I have a fairly high libido but absolutely zero attraction. So I just take care of myself and I'm good. Some asexuals choose have sex without feeling sexual attraction.

And there are different types of attractions. Sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, and more. Sexual attraction: I want to have sex with that person. Romantic attraction: I want to date that person. Sensual attraction: I want to hold their hand or cuddle with that person. Aesthetic attraction: that person is pleasing to look at. Platonic attraction: I want to be friends with that person.

The hard part, at least for me, is figuring out which of them you are feeling in the moment. And a lot fo times these overlap with each other too which makes things confusing as well. I most often feel aesthetic, platonic, and sensual attraction. I do not feel sexual or romantic hence why I identify as asexual and aromantic.

Sexual attraction makes zero sense to me to be honest. I don't get it. People have described it to me but it's not an easy thing for people to describe cause they just feel it and know what it is. The best way I can describe it as when allos (people who are not under the asexual umbrella) see someone they find sexually attractive then those feeling like we get with whump. Like they'll look at someone and "think damn that person is hot and I would like to have sex with them" and the physical feelings happen at the same time. The word hot is used literally because attractive people make them feel hot. Which I definitely don't get lol. I don't know about you but that has literally never happened to me in my life. So sexual attraction is the "I want to have sex with this person". The "finding someone hot or pretty" is much more aesthetic attraction. You can find someone beautiful and not want to have sex with them. My whumpees are all people I find hot aesthetically. Any time I say a character/actor is hot I mean aesthetically. I like to look at them like I enjoy a nice sculpture or painting. I do not want to have sex with a painting. That sounds like you too.

As for sadism, I can't speak too much about this because I am not one but as I understand it, sadists derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you and your partner are both consenting to whatever you do in the bedroom. Lots of people enjoy that. It's not bad. If you wonder if you're a sadist ask yourself and reflect on whether this fits with you. For example, with myself cause I also wondered the same thing, in my actual life i do not like hurting people, I don't find anything sexually pleasing about hurting others so I am not a sadist. But I do want to make it clear that there isn't anything wrong with being a sadist! It all comes down consent. If you and your partner are consenting amd happy then you're good! You do you!

Honestly when it comes to whump, the way I see it is if you view it as a sexual thing than it is but if you don't think of it as sexual then it's not.

So me personally, I do not derive any sexual pleasure from whump at all. My feelings and sensations seem to be similar to what people experience with sexual attraction but I don't view whump as a sexual thing to me at all so in my head what I feel is not sexual attraction. What exactly it is I honestly don't know. I think that's why I love the term whumperflies. It gives this feeling it's own thing and I love that. There's no element of sex with whump to me at all. For some people there is though and that's totally cool! We all have our likes and dislikes and none are bad so long as we aren't hurting others (without their consent anyway ;) ).

In the end it's totally up to you how you view things. Based on what you've said it sounds a lot like me in that whump is not a sexual thing for you but rather you enjoy the aesthetics of it and the whumperflies ot gives you. But I'm not gonna tell you for certain because ultimately it's up to you to decide what you feel! I can offer advice and definitions and my own experiences though which I hope helps some.

So that was my very long slightly ramble response. I hope it's somewhat helpful 😅