#but some fandoms just don't deserve my time and effort. not anymore

[disdaidal]

tags by @envergothash

This website isn’t dead y’all are just more willing to reblog a screenshot of a tweet than a gifset for some weird reason

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Fanfic Thieves on Youtube

A collection of youtube channels have been uploading preexisting fanfictions in videos with little to no credit to the original authors. These are not podfics, these channels copy-paste the fics into text-to-speech readers then upload the unaltered audio over static or unrelated backgrounds, either art that is also stolen or mobile game footage. In addition to not naming the authors, they alter the title to make it that much harder for readers to recognize or find the original uploads. Some go so far as to pretend they themselves are creating the fics in question. Many claim that their stealing actually helps give fics "exposure" despite the intentional steps they take to conceal the origins of the fics they profit off of. However, this practice has lead many authors to discontinue fics after the frustration of having their hard work stolen. Many of these channels claim they will remove videos upon request, but will either argue with the author in order to keep it up, or simply unlist the video for a time until they think the author isn't paying attention anymore. And their solution to receiving strikes against their channels in the past has been to further obfuscate the origins of their content instead of even considering asking first.

”I got caught stealing, so instead of not stealing anymore, I’m doubling down on stealing even more so it’s harder for people to find out and prove I’m stealing. Stealing doesn't count if the specific person I stole from didn't call me out. I am the real victim.”

That, plus the incessant tag scumming in all the videos (spamming unrelated tags in order to appear in more search results) proves to me that these are lazy attention seekers who don't want to put in creative effort when they could just leech off of the passion of others.

In order to report them, go to their channel's "About" page and click the flag icon. Said icon might be behind the three dots in the top bar on mobile. Go to "Report User" at the bottom and tick the "spam and scams" button. This will allow you to list multiple videos as offenders instead of reporting them individually. Youtube's policy states that video spam constitutes:

Massively uploading content that you scraped from other creators.

Auto-generated content that computers post without regard for quality or viewer experience.

If you recognize one of your fics among the stolen, say so in the additional comments box, and perhaps call out the channel directly in the video's comments. If you recognize someone else's fic, please let the original author know so they can report the channel as well. Many have been confronted for stealing previously and refuse to admit wrongdoing.

Most of what I've found has been My Hero Academia fics since that's my fandom and those are the ones I can recognize as stolen, but there are many other channels that steal from other fandoms, so I invite anyone and everyone to reblog this with their own findings.

The reality is that this extremely low-effort content and new youtube channels are both very easy to make, so most likely they'll start new channels once the ones on this list are run through. But hopefully, if we all work together and keep whacking these moles, perhaps we can instill that same defeatism they caused so many creators who didn't deserve it, and eventually they'll give up.

My sincerest thanks to everyone who helped bring additional channels to my attention. A special thanks to ao3 user InArduisFidelis who brought the initial attention to the issue, and @owlf45 whose work was stolen.

Links under the cut.

YurikoFanfics - Not only stole content, but acted in comments as though they were the one writing these stories.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@YurikoFanfics

What-IF-Anime - Has the exact same "disclaimer" about not being the original author as the one above. Either they're the same person or the thieves are stealing from each other.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@What-IF-Anime

quirkywhatif7 - Either an alt of the above, or all these people are talking to one another because this one made a community post identical to a comment the one above made in response to being called out (the above screenshots).

https://www.youtube.com/@quirkywhatif7/about

DekuFanfic - It's the same fucking guy again.

https://www.youtube.com/@DekuFanfic/about

InfiniteParadoxfanfics - Nothing notable, same deal as the others.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@InfiniteParadoxfanfics/about

WhatIfAnimeChannel - Admits in their community posts that other people write the fics they post but still doesn't give credit. Migrated to a new channel after issues with youtube, likely being flagged previously.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfAnimeChannel/about

WhatIfAnimeAll - Alt of above.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfAnimeAll

FWNWorld - Makes sure to tell you that the videogame footage is theirs, but can't bother to credit anyone else.

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@FWNWorld/about

WTFW - Claims to have "[A] team of talented writers, voice actors, and artists work together to create immersive fan fiction stories that are sure to captivate your imagination." Just the same test-to-speech stolen content over videogames. So straight up lying claiming that everything is theirs (and that anything they make is quality).

https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/@WTFW

MHA2.0Fanfics - Lots of crossover theft.

https://www.youtube.com/@MHA2.0Fanfics/about

Collerwhatiif - Pretty sure this one is the same guy as the previous 2, also has one for another fandom.

https://www.youtube.com/@Collerwhatiif/about

https://www.youtube.com/@GoJoFanfiction/videos

ko_sensei - Another that claims to have a "team" that makes the stories they steal: " passionate about creating compelling and engaging fanfiction that explores the various "what ifs" in the anime universe."

https://www.youtube.com/@ko_sensei/about

FantasticWhatIf - Multifandom stealing, uses the exact same bs disclaimer as many others.

https://www.youtube.com/@FantasticWhatIf/about

LettuceHeadFanfics - No credit, no acknowledgement of anything. Next one is an alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@LettuceHeadFanfics/about

brocollifanfics - Alt of above, once again admits to stealing with a declaration of "☆If you want to takedown any videos. You can mail us or leave a comment below the video☆"

https://www.youtube.com/@brocollifanfics/about

whatifofficial786 - Focuses on MHA/Naruto crossovers. Identical format.

https://www.youtube.com/@whatifofficial786/about

NotWhatIf - I've lost track of who's an alt of who but yet another identical format, descriptions, and bullshit claims of "enhancing the viewer experience" by putting a robot voice over bootleg fortnite footage.

https://www.youtube.com/@NotWhatIf/about

weebxds - Same again.

https://www.youtube.com/@weebxds/about

ItachiFanfics - Naruto channel, we can at least confirm that this one is run by a human given the rare different descriptions and a real voice at the beginning of videos before the robot comes back.

https://www.youtube.com/@ItachiFanfics/about

WhatIfDN - As if mockingly, a bunch of videos have a "credit" section in their descriptions that is of course blank.

https://www.youtube.com/@WhatIfDN/about

SpiceandBooks and spiceandfiction - Apparently Youtube itself has started picking up on the bullshit, because this multifandom channel is being dinged as ai spam so they started a new one.

https://www.youtube.com/@SpiceandBooks/about

https://www.youtube.com/@spiceandfiction/about

theoriginalastra - Doesn't even bother with disclaimers, the following are multiple alts/potential alts for different fandoms.

https://www.youtube.com/@theoriginalastra/about

SillySenpai12 - Highschool DXD alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@SillySenpai12/about

RosieRealms - Naruto alt.

https://www.youtube.com/@RosieRealms/about

DekuWhatIfs - Potentially another astra alt but not sure, doesn't matter because all these channels do the same thing anyway.

AnimeStark688 - No credits or disclaimers.

https://www.youtube.com/@AnimeStark688/about

Please take the time to report these channels, spread this post around, and reblog with any additional offending channels you find.

[eternalbuckley]

Making Progress. — aemond targaryen

SUMMARY: Making progress with someone you used to be close with when you were younger could be hard but you put in the effort, so Aemond could trust you again. Giving him the time he needed and when you don't expect it at all, you might end up with the most vulnerable moment you've shared with him. OR When braiding his hair turns into him showing you his most vulnerable side and has some confessions.

word count: 3,819

genre: comfort | wife!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings/tropes: it's just very very soft, one mention of health problems (readers father), arranged marriage, reader is the oldest daughter of her parents and has implied younger siblings, no use of y/n, set before the death of viserys, english is not my first language, slightly proofread — if I forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: i just need my babygirl to be happy and get the love he deeply deserves and always wanted :( it's my first time writing for him and this fandom in general, i hope you enjoy it <3 reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and highly welcomed!

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know!

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Ever since you’ve been friends with Aemond in your childhood, you were fascinated with his hair and always played with it whenever you were able to. You spent most of your time with him when your family was visiting the King and Queen’s family since they were close friends to the family. You’ve always been the closest person Aemond had and were there for him. You were his best friend and always listened to his rants whenever his brother or nephews made fun of him, especially when the situation with the pig happened. You hated Aegon for how he treated Aemond sometimes, despite being his older brother. You didn’t have older siblings but you could never imagine treating your younger siblings the way Aegon treated Aemond sometimes.

The next time you saw him was at the funeral of Lady Laena Velaryon. Your parents were close friends and allies with her parents, Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys. You and your family wanted to pay your respect to their loss. Later, when you found out what happened the following night with Aemond, you were shocked. You were shocked when you found out how he lost his left eye and were angry with the whole situation but you couldn’t change anything about it. But Aemond felt somewhat happy because he finally claimed his own dragon, even if he lost his eye for it.

You tried to be there for him as much as you were able to but over the years, your father got sick and you weren’t able to see him so often anymore. Because your father wasn’t always to travel to the Red Keep and Viserys was slowly losing his strength every day as well. You thought you could bond over this with Aemond but you quickly realized it wouldn’t happen. You tried to keep in touch with him, by sending letters to him but over the time he didn’t respond to them as much as he used to. Which resulted into that you drifted apart from each other, you still cared for him but you noticed that he started to shut you out of his life. He wouldn’t let you into his thoughts anymore but the few times you were able to see him, you noticed that his demeanour had changed, especially the older you got. He acted colder and more firmly, you barely saw him laugh anymore unless he tortured his nephews. It was hurting to see how much he had changed over the years and that you couldn’t be there for him as much as you’d want to. You missed your best friend.

You always thought you’d end up being betrothed to his brother since you are your parents’ oldest child and because they mentioned it a few times to you when you were a few years younger. But it surprised you when your parents agreed with Viserys and Alicent to betroth you and Aemond instead since Aegon had been married with Helaena already. Your parents and Aemond’s parents wanted to bond both families together, knowing that you two used to be close when you were younger and wanted to use that connection between you. But if you were honest, you weren’t sure how to feel about the betrothal back then. Both of you didn’t seemingly share the same interests anymore or really knew what the other one was thinking about. You were sure, that Aemond was still angry and fed up with the Velaryon brothers and that Lucerys was the one who cut out his eye and was the reason for losing his eye. You never agreed with the way how his brother and he mocked Jacaerys, Lucerys or Joffrey for being bastards from time to time, they weren’t responsible for their mothers’ actions. But you didn’t do anything against it either. You tried not to listen to what others were saying but it was undeniable. Everyone knew the truth about the Velaryon brothers, even if some tried to deny the truth.

On the other hand, Aemond was happy that he’d marry you, something he maybe dreamed about too many times in his life. You were the one person he had a soft spot for, even if the two of you weren’t that close anymore. Aemond had different reasons for pushing you away. Ever since the accident with his eye, he didn’t want to possibly get hurt or betrayed by you, which caused him to push you away and out of his life. He focused more on his training sessions with Ser Criston or spending his time reading. Spending less and less time with you whenever you visited the Red Keep. You tried to get into his interests but whenever you tried to watch his training sessions, your mother would make you join Helaena and spend time with her instead.

You didn’t mind spending time with her because you enjoyed it and were happy to call her sister as soon as you’d marry Aemond but you wanted to get to know him again. You missed him as your friend. All you wanted was to find out what he liked and if there was anything that didn’t change about him. But in the end, both of you were glad that you wouldn’t have to marry a stranger even if it meant trying to get to know each other again. Which seemed to be harder than you thought, especially during the first months of your marriage. You would spend barely time with each other, the only interactions between you were stolen glances. Whenever you would pass him as you walked through the castle, whenever you two saw each other in the gardens or were together with his siblings and parents during feasts or in general. It didn’t happen a lot but whenever you all were together you felt his gaze on you. The longing between you two was hard to ignore, yet the only people to notice this were Alicent and Helaena. Helaena knew how much you cared for her brother, many times you’d talk about him whenever you spent time with her. Alicent hoped that Aemond and you would find your way back to each other again and that your marriage would be filled with love and trust.

On your wedding day, Aemond and you kept your formalities and consummated your marriage that night but after that, neither of you tried to push the other one to sleep with each other or keep an intimate behaviour. It happened quickly and you didn’t ever really talk about it afterwards as it didn’t seem to be necessary to do it. Everything was still the same, gazes filled with longingness.

Over time you started to talk with each other more, most of the time it would be whenever you were in the garden at the same time. In the beginning, it would only be about the smallest things but he slowly warmed up to you. You always tried to never push him too much and swore to yourself to give him the time he needed. You started joining him in the library and sat together while the two of you read. He started talking about the things he read or studied in particular and you engaged with him about it. Or listened to him talking and appreciating the progress you had made so far. You slowly got closer again and started to eat your breakfast and dinner together and had more engaging conversations and laughed together from time to time. Aemond noticed the effort you put into him and your relationship. He appreciated you and how you gave him the time he needed to open up and trust you again. He always trusted you but his fear of being abandoned by you haunted his nights and thoughts many times.

You started to notice how he would have one hand on the lower back of you whenever you walked together, the more time you spent together. It was a gentle and small touch but meant everything for both of you. Because deep down you both knew you’ve always liked each other, you just needed to feel brave enough to act on it, despite being afraid of possibly hurting yourselves. You fell in love with each other all over again. You brought out a side of him, he thought he lost. Though, he’d only show it if you were alone and felt comfortable.

For him, you were the one who made it seem worth it to have a smile on his lips and feel happier again.

He’d be the one who had the courage to kiss you first. It was a moment of peace while you sat with him on a bench in the garden of the castle. You were talking about something you recently read and wouldn’t go out of your mind when he gently took your hand into his which caused you to look at him and stop midsentence. You felt his thumb stroking over your hand when he quietly asked you if he could kiss you. You felt how your face heated up and how your heartbeat quickened. His eye lit up when you nodded your head. His breath hitched for a moment and his own heart was fiercely beating against his chest as well. You both had leaned in and the moment your lips met; it was like the world didn’t exist but the two of you.  It felt like you were shaped for each other as they moved against each other. It was a short but very soft and gentle kiss but meant everything for both of you, especially Aemond. There was a slight smile on his lips when his eye looked into yours and you smiled back at him. You two continued your conversation and he continued to gently hold your hand while his thumb brushed over the back of your hand. This step was the reason why you two continued to grow closer and he slowly started to share more of his deeper thoughts with you again.

While you grew closer again, more things started to change slowly. Sleeping segregated in your own chambers turned into sharing one. Sleeping in your own beds turned into sharing one. Not having a lot of physical touch turned into holding each other’s hands while falling asleep. And holding each other’s hand would turn into laying in each other’s arms from time to time. Everything happened slowly but this gave you the opportunity to bond a strong connection with him again and it made everything even more worth it.

Ever since you started to share a chamber, you got into a regular nightly routine. You’d already lay in bed when he came back from whatever he was doing and joined you. Giving you a small, tender kiss on your forehead as he laid down next to you after he removed his clothing and held your hand as you slowly drifted to sleep while facing each other. He would watch and admire you before he’d fall asleep after you. Some nights the moon would shine through the window and let your beauty shine even more. He’d brush his thumb over your hand he was still holding, wishing he could fully open up to you again. Wishing he could show you his vulnerable side, one he thought was long gone. But with you, this side wanted to come out again. You were always so patient with him, something he was more than grateful for. Aemond knew he could lose his temper easily but with you, in his life, it was completely different. One smile of you and he would burn the world if it meant to see it even more.

Some nights you would hold him if he had nightmares and woke up from what he dreamed about. Aemond never told you what his dreams were about but many of them included you and your death. You would hold him tightly so he could calm down and relax in your arms. He would cling to you, internally pleading you’d never let go of him, which you never did. There weren’t many words spoken during these moments but both of you knew the impact they had.

You were his safe place and always had been.

Once his breathing got steadier again, he’d mostly thank you with a soft but still shaky whisper and would drift off to sleep again. While you stayed awake and held him in your arms, continuing to trace his arms gently. These vulnerable moments between you would be the closest you’d share your nights with.

The nights were still often filled with all these moments but in the most recent days, your nightly routine started to include more softer moments between you. Instead of waiting for him in your shared bed, you would wait for him while sitting on the settee in front of the fireplace, already changed into your nightgown. You would sit next to each other and enjoy the presence of the other one after he changed into his undergarments. Reading in peace and going to bed together after a while. Sometimes you’d already fall asleep, leaned with your head on his shoulder while he continued to read for a little while. Aemond enjoyed these moments a lot since you felt comfortable enough around him to lay on his shoulder and be asleep. Once he was done with reading for the night, he’d gently pick you up, trying not to wake you up and carry you towards your bed. Placing you on it and put the blanket over your body before he’d lay down next to you and give you a tender kiss on your forehead and fall asleep afterwards.

A few nights ago, it was quite different from the nights before. You sat next to each other on the settee in front of the fireplace, your hands touching each other from time to time. Which sent you a warmth through your bodies, there was a comfortable silence in the room. Only hearing the fire that was crackling, until Aemond spoke up with a soft, quite vulnerable tone in his voice. He asked you quietly if you could play with his hair, “like in the old days when we were younger” he would say and you happily did so. Your heart filled with awe as he mentioned the piece of your past.

Since then, your nightly routine included you standing behind him while he sat on the settee in front of the fireplace and listening to the crackles of the fire. He was reading one of his books while you carefully combed through his open platinum-white hair with your fingers, making sure you wouldn’t accidentally tug too much on it and that you wouldn’t accidentally tug on his eyepatch. It was always a comforting atmosphere while you two stayed like this, no conversations were needed. You both knew that you appreciated the quietness. Each time you combed through his hair he closed his eye for a moment and enjoyed the feeling of your fingers, bringing him the beautiful memories into his mind from when you were younger. Tonight, you wanted to add a few small braids into his hair and he happily let you do it. Aemond admired how widely you smiled after he agreed to let you braid his hair.

“Your hair is so soft, that’s not fair,” you pouted as you parted a small strand of his hair into three equal strands and began braiding them. He chuckled in response and flipped through his book. You always felt this way about his hair, even when you were younger. A memory he would and could never forget.

You didn’t talk for another while as he tried to focus on reading and you tried to focus on braiding his hair. After a while, you were done and he stopped reading and put his book aside. You walked around the settee and stood in front of him with an extended hand. It would usually be the moment you two would go into bed but he gently took your hand and pulled you into his lap instead. You sat sideways on his lap, his chest against your arm and legs laying on the free space of the settee. You looked at him surprised as he wrapped his arms around you, not used to such actions from him but you liked it a lot. One of his hands drew small circles on your thigh and without any questions you snuggled into him and put your head on his shoulder. You watched the fire and enjoyed the warmth of it and Aemond’s body. His chin was on top of your head and he had his eye closed.

“This feels good,” he mumbled and let out a relaxed sigh, his arms slightly tightening around you. Which caused you to smile and hum in agreement. This night you made more progress again.

“More than good,” you replied and put your hand over his hand, which was still drawing circles on your thigh. His touch was soft on you as he pondered about something that would change so much between you. He was sure it would add a deeper level of trust, vulnerability, love and understanding between you but he was afraid that it could ruin the progress you’ve made so far.

You noticed that something was on his mind and raised your head to look at him. “Do you wish to talk about what’s on your mind, my love?” You asked him with a gentle tone in your voice and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face.

“You’ve never left my mind,” he admitted and looked into your eyes. “I always missed you each time you weren’t here over the years.”

 If it would be possible, your face softened even more with his admission. You carefully traced his cheek under his scar. Not daring to get too close to his eyepatch, knowing he never really showed any intentions to show you how his eye looked underneath. You always wondered what it looked like but you didn’t want to push him to show it to you and rather waited as long as he might need to feel ready to show you. Aemond never took the eyepatch off in your presence, he was too afraid to scare you off or that you would be disgusted by it or by him. But you would never feel these ways. During most of the nights, he’d take it off but mostly you fell asleep first and he was the first one to be awake in the mornings again. If he woke up from his nightmares you wouldn’t light up a candle, so you were never actually able to see how it looked like. Of course, you were curious but you respected his decision to keep it hidden from you.

“So did I. I always missed the little jokes we made,” you reminisced with a chuckle but there was a hint of sadness in your voice. You’ve also remembered the times where he pushed you away and kept you out of his life.

“I never wanted to push you away,” he mumbled, which made you look into his purple eye, “I… I think I was afraid that you would hate me and leave me like almost everyone else when I needed them the most. So, I pushed you away instead.”

You listened and slowly nodded, “I’d have never hated or left you, Aemond.”

He tightened his embrace and nuzzled his face into your neck. You wrapped your free arm around his neck and held him close. “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel safe in my presence anymore.” He mumbled into your neck but you heard him clearly.

“I always felt safe in your presence.”

He looked up again and you saw the love he held for you in his eye. You caressed his cheek and leaned your forehead against his. The arm you had around his neck slightly tightened for a short moment.

“I never could have hated you, even after you pushed me away. I never held any hatred towards you,” you whispered with a tender voice. “I knew we drifted apart, as we had many things happening in our lives but I don’t blame you for anything.”

“I was always afraid that you would think that I’m disgusting after I lost my eye.”

With a shake of your head, you continued to caress his cheek. He leaned into your touch. “I could never imagine myself to ever feel disgusted by you, my dear.”

You felt how Aemond’s shoulders relaxed with your words, it was like he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He exhaled with a shaky breath, closed his eye and nuzzled his head back into your neck, inhaling your scent. He continued to draw small circles on your thigh and kept his eye closed. After another while he slightly pulled away from you and slightly adjusted how he sat. You watched him how he took your hand and moved it to his eyepatch. Your eyes widened and you tried to stop him but he held your hand firmly. His purple eye looking into yours.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” you whispered gently but he shook his head. “I want to, I wanted to show you for the longest time.”

You gulped and slowly nodded your head as you slowly removed his eyepatch. Watching the now-revealed blue sapphire where his left eye once was, your face softened again. You slowly and gently traced his scar in admiration. He held his breath; in fear, that you would change your mind and think he was disgusting but once he noticed that none of his fears would come true, he relaxed again and leaned into your touch.

“I still think you’re beautiful. What happened is horrible but it makes you, you. And I still love you regardless. No matter what,” you whispered and didn’t notice at first that you just told him for the first time that you loved him. His face softened and your eyes slightly widened and your body tensed up once you processed what you just admitted. He gently put his hand over yours, which was tracing his scar and squeezed it.

“I… I love you too,” he admitted and a smile made its way on your lips. Your body relaxing again.

The progress you two made that night caused you to get even closer and grow to be stronger together than you ever were. You shared many loving moments but it didn’t mean that everything was always going well and situations ended in very heated ways. Gladly, you were able to solve them in one way or another. After all, he would burn the world for you if it meant he would save you from any harm and keep you happy.

[onlyjaeyun]

can i talk my shit for a moment?

i've been thinking about enhypen a lot, i actually do on a daily because i have a problem but that's a story for another time, and every time i think about certain types of "engenes" i get so, so mad and just as sad and frustrated because we're literally witnessing the way enha as a whole are slowly losing the recognition and attention for their talent because the focus is slowly shifting towards their visuals and their fan service.

i can't even explain why this makes me so mad and maybe i'm just a baby engene who's a little sensitive and protective but it's just so frustrating to see people praise enha for their visuals and fan service only when they're so, so much more.

don't get me wrong, PLEASE praise your fave for their visuals, they're the hardest on themselves and the kpop industry is so visual focused, it'll do wonders to their self confidence and esteem to hear how much their fans love their looks and styles and visuals.

it's the fact that at this point i barely ever see anyone praise any member for their actual talent. maybe i'm on the wrong side of the fandom but whenever the boys are done with a performance, they go viral for their visuals and not the actual effort, energy, time and attention they put into that performance.

seeing the comments being full of people who only praise one thing about the members is just so..heartbreaking considering just HOW hard they've worked to be where they are.

they have received titles during i-land and are still standing up to those and the high standards everyone has set for them, so seeing their fan service being what gets people into the fandom makes me so sad.

heeseung is a fucking ace, mans can sing, dance, produce, rap – he's literally known for his immense talent yet his biggest headlines somehow always included his visuals, especially with the whole nose implant shit. yes, his fan service is top tier but he's more than that short flirty moment and i hate seeing people praise him for it.

jungwon keeps on showing everyone what a good lsader he is, that he actually deserves his title as the hidden ace but people never ever give him credit for what matters. that guy loves his fans so, so much he spends hours on weverse to chat and respond and always updates us on what's going on. he's so csring and sweet and yet ever since he's become an adult its yet again, just about his looks.

i don't even wanna talk about sunoo because his situation makes me SO mad in a way i can't explain at all. that fucker is so fucking talented and so gifted, he's literally worked his ass off all these years just for people to go around and go omg he's so pretty!!! and that's it. he's not just your little mlm projection since most engenes love to label him as such, he's so much more and deserves to be treated like the talented idol he is.

sunghoon is also of that category because tell me why people have made his visuals hs only personality when he literally was told he was born to be on stage. every single performance, every single song, every single tour night he gives his everything because he knows he's good but he wants to show the world that he's more than a pretty face. i wish people would just see his talent and dedication for once instead of his eyebrows.

jay is also a topic i dont even wanna talk about anymore because the treatment he's been receiving all these years from his own "FANS" is so embarrassing and heartbreaking. i have never, ever watched a performance where that fucker didn't give 150% of his energy and power, his dedication is so impressive and something to admire. he's not just your fashion icon with a pretty face and a sharp jawline, i might upset some of y'all, but he's just as much of an ace as heeseung to me and i wish people saw that.

riki literally left his home country when he was a child and was called the dance prodigy, became a member in the official line up at the age of 14 and yet people will literally do nothing but praise his visuals. that fucker came okt of his mama dancing and people dare to argue whether or not he's as good as engenes make him to be what the FUCK? ppl need to stop focusing on his face and actually look at him as a whole when they watch him bc how could we ever argue about his talent???

jake had a dream and an opportunity and that fucker took. it. he literally only trained for six months and now his dance challenges with other idols are some of the most viewed ones on social media. he's a pretty face and the biggest flirt ever, he loves his dans and doesnt hesitate to show it but i wish people would actually see how hard he works and how far he's come. he was never bad but he's literally at such a high level right now when it comes to his skills and stage performances, i feel like people just love to ignore that aspect of him bc of his intense fan service.

i can't believe i spent 10 minutes writing this but its been on my mind for so long and i really hope we as engenes can actually sit our asses the fuck down and start showing those boys and their talent the love and appreciation they deserve. they are a group of visuals, yes. no doubt. but they were also chosen to be in this group bc of their talent and their skills.

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey there...

You got a second? Come chat with me.

After talking with a couple of other creators on here and seeing the reaction to a couple of my other posts, I thought it might be a good idea to chat about engagement and what that means, specifically here on Tumblr.

Engagement is the life blood of fandom. It is what keeps people enthusiastic, happy, and, well....engaged! I think there have been some misconceptions about what exactly it is content creators (fanfic writers, moodboard makers, gif makers, fan art makers, etc.) mean when they say they want meaningful engagement.

Meaningful is the operative word here. Yes, likes and reblogs do count as engagement with your favorite creators, but do they count as meaningful?

Imagine with me for a second that you are competing in a sporting event....lets say track and field. You've been preparing for this event for a while now, putting your all into it so that you can do your best. The time comes and your event goes really well!! Afterwards, you go to mingle with the crowds, your friends, your families, except...no one says a word to you. Sure, they give you thumbs up and applause, but nothing else.

You're starting to feel a little self conscious now. You thought you did really well, but no one is saying anything? So you ask them how they thought you did. Several of them just smile at you and nod their heads, giving you another thumbs up, and one of your friends even says "you did good!"

"Well, what did you all think about...?" You ask. Again, no one says anything. You look over and several other teammates are having the same thing happen to them. One or two have people gushing about their performance, and it's well deserved! They worked really hard, and they did amazing in their event! But you did too...right? You're not so sure now, and now you're starting to second guess yourself. Should you even be doing this at all? People gave you thumbs up and applause, but....

A few weeks later, you're not as engaged with track and field anymore. In fact, you've all but quit at this point, running in your free time, but you're not doing it competitively for others to see. You still enjoy the act, but you don't want to subject others to seeing you do it if they don't want to. One day, a friend comes up to you and says "You were so good at track and field! Why did you stop??"

"I didn't think anyone liked seeing me do it, so I stopped," you explain. Your friend looks at you confused.

"We all did?" They say. "We gave you thumbs up and applause. Why would you think we didn't like your events?"

"Because you never said you did. You never put forth the effort to tell me, so how was I supposed to know?" You reply.

Now, given reactions to other posts like this, I'm sure some of you are going to call me condescending or patronizing. I'm not trying to be. I'm trying to show you all why meaningful engagement is so vital to fandom experiences. Your favorite creators WILL stop creating if you don't talk to them about their work. They'll keep doing what they love, but eventually they will stop sharing it with you. You'll never know how your favorite fic ends. You'll never see your favorite characters in that style exactly again. You'll get fewer and fewer gifs.

Likes are okay, and reblogs are important for getting more eyes on your favorite things, but talking to your writers and engaging with them in the different events, their content, or fun things they try to do for you all is so important.

I joked, but the whole "ten likes and five comments for the next update" used to be a very real thing in fandom spaces. Your favorite content creators do not want to be on here constantly begging you all to talk to them. We are human beings who want to speak with other human beings, we don't want to be treated like mindless content machines for you all. Days of work go in to what we create, and a single sentence of "I really liked when X character said this! I can't wait to see what they'll do when Y happens!" on a fic takes you ten seconds. And I guarantee that the author will absolutely bombard you with their excitement to talk about their story. You're never bothering someone when you talk about their work. They share it because they WANT to talk to you about it.

Don't want to show your face? That's totally fine! That's what the anonymous feature is ACTUALLY for. Show love through anonymous messages if you don't want people to know it's you!

Show your favorite creators some more love. It's so easy.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

One of the most weirdest things to me about the fandom is the idea that Nagito would be extra-warm towards Hajime upon waking up, due to Hajime retaining all of Kamukura's talents. To me I think it would be the total opposite. I think there'd actually be a lot of angst deriving from just how alienated Nagito feels around this Hajime, who's not quite the same person he fell in love with anymore. Taking into account what 2.5 implies about his true feelings about talent (that deep down he's always resented what talent has done to the world and his life), I think it could be especially aggravating if Hajime tried to act as if there's no power imbalance between the two.

"...Stop pretending like I'm still your equal. I'm a talentless freak with a brain that's falling to bits, and I'll be gone in a few years. You're the most talented ingenious human being on Earth, and you've probably got a life expectancy of like 250. You don't get to reap all the benefits of being the Ultimate Hope, and then act like you're still an average joe just because you had some profound revelation in a computer world about how okay it is being talentless."

Yeah I feel that. Though it's understandable fandom would run with the "Talent-sexual" Nagito joke given how much he fawns over those with talent and to then apply the logic to "the more talents = the more Nagito will like you". The moment in the anime when he's overwhelmed with adoration simply being in Izuru's presence for the first time also doesn't quite help in this regard, though pretty sure that was put in there more so for fanservice and comic relief.

Funnily enough, as you mentioned, the anime also brought into question how much sincerity Nagito's love for talent truly is. So then it makes you think--if Nagito actually resents talent, then applying the earlier logic: wouldn't the more talents = the more Nagito resents you? Both things are somewhat of a flawed logic, but it's interesting to explore that side of Nagito because it really paints a picture of how deeply entrenched his delusion with hope and talent are. How many layers of denial and repression do you have to be in order to act so sincerely and consistently with your fake ideal that talent=hope and the Ultimates are destined to bring forth that hope? To the point that you circled back around and gaslight yourself into believing it to be a fundamental truth?

At what point did that resentment arise? Did it grow alongside his admiration for talent? Every time he felt his resentment towards talent did he push it back down with positive thoughts of talent instead to try to "look on the brightside/find the silver lining"? Did it get to the point that his resentment was so incredible that he had to think talent positive thoughts 24/7 just to keep it at bay? Is he doing this because otherwise all he'll have left will be hatred, despair, and a bleak view of the world being cruel and unfair? And he'll constantly be wondering why some are blessed with advantage and prodigy while others are seemingly born to suffer and stay stagnant despite their best efforts? Why does the world continue to favor some and crush everyone else? What has everyone done to deserve the life they have?

Honestly, this just further proves that Nagito's obsession with hope and talent are his last ditch attempts at giving himself purpose in a world cursing his existence. Ironically, this unhealthy coping mechanism is the better of two mindsets he chose to follow. Really goes to show that Nagito, despite everything he says, has not given up on himself if he's trying THIS damn hard to keep up the facade and have a reason to keep going everyday. And this is the reason why that OVA is my favorite episode from all the anime as that one line adds so much more nuance to Nagito's already complicated ideology.

Sorry, I sorta derailed things to ramble about Nagito but what did you expect from a Nagito simp after all? He's been rotting my brain for over four years now. But to come back on topic, this post-game Nagito with his looser chokehold on hope and talent would most likely have to contend once again with that resentment, but now with a weaker shield. As such, I do think he'd have mixed feelings about Izuru/Hajime. Part of him would probably sympathize with Hajime's pain from the surgery and the fact that he'll never quite be only Hajime anymore. Izuru is and will always be there. Learning to live with the permanent changes to his body and mind is something Nagito knows intimately--way before he became a remnant. That being said, well....Hajime did get the best case scenario for his outcome. Even some of his emotions returned despite the physical improbability of it happening. And yeah--he gets to keep all those useful talents now too. He's also in better physical health than most of their other classmates and his real name isn't inherently associated with Ultimate Despair. He could go back into society looking the way he does with his legal name and no one would even know he was ever involved with Hope's Peak.

So yeah, that sympathy Nagito has would not be enough to squash down his resentment. I can't imagine him fawning over Hajime post-game given everything that's happened and especially after finding out how Izuru was created (as I talked about in a previous ask). There will definitely be an adjustment period where in Nagito may even be passively hostile towards Hajime. But I think a part of Nagito--the part that white knuckled that silver lining for talent---would try its best to look past that and accept Hajime as a sincere friend. It's just going to take a while for him to get there. But he'll try. Doesn't mean he won't be a snarky passive aggressive guy through out it though. I do think he'll be more blunt about his honest feelings towards others whether they like it or not. Talent be (slightly) damned.

[kingkatsuki]

you are a whole ass weirdo for blocking people out of nowhere for not REBLOGGING your stuff 😭😭😭 you are one of the most popular blogs in the whole mha fandom, you gotta be kidding you don't even lack the reach or the platform, i didn't peg you for being this interaction hungry

Hihihi! You’re clearly very upset that I’ve blocked you for not supporting content creators by reblogging their fics. I’m really sorry that you won’t be able to be a silent follower anymore, but maybe you can check out my ao3 instead if you just want to silently consume content without clicking any buttons.

The reason why I block people who don’t reblog fanfics (as I’ve mentioned a million times before it doesn’t have to be my fanfics, doesn’t even have to be bnha fandom) is because you bring absolutely nothing to fandom or the fandom community. There’s no point you following me, so I just block you to make myself more comfortable.

The people I’ve blocked for being blank blogs or not reblogging content that have messaged me have all been unblocked after supporting writers/artists. And honestly most of them have never reblogged any of my fics, and I’m okay with that… because they’re supporting someone.

There’s gotta be someone on this website that you hold above all else, that whenever they post they put a smile on your face? That bring you comfort when you’re having a bad day? That you actively look at their page first, like a morning newspaper or you think of randomly throughout the day like “oh, this was in ____’s fic,” … you don’t even want to support your most favourite author/artist?

It’s nothing to do with my “reach” or my “platform”. I’m a nerdy woman who reads and writes fanfic in my spare time, not David Attenborough. But regardless of whether I have 1 follower or 100,000 followers I, like every other creator that posts their stuff online (musicians, artists, writers, even fucking tiktokers) want feedback on my work! Even if it’s just an empty reblog or a quick comment “that was great” “good job” it means so much more than a like on a fic.

We’ve spoken about this before on tumblr but the like to reblog ratios on fanfics (and other content) is laughable. A fic with 5000 notes might only have 200 reblogs and 5 comments, and the lack of feedback will result in the creator wondering if it was even worth posting, if it’s even worth them posting again.

This is the reason why people stop creating, and it’s not just in the fanfic community. What do you think happens when your favourite musicians music flops, or your favourite TV show doesn’t bring in the ratings? People stop making, they stop producing. It’s the same shit with fanfics.

The fanfiction that you’re so mindlessly consuming takes time and effort. There’s a real person behind the screen gifting you their piece of art for free, and you don’t have time to click a button?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it. I’m incredibly lucky I have the friends and followers that I do on this website, people that comment on my fics and reblog with the loveliest tags. Even the ones that are too shy to interact with me, I see your usernames in my notifs whenever you reblog something. But I know a lot of friends and followers do not get that same luxury, there are writers who pour their heart and soul into writing on here and get no likes, no reblogs and no comments. But people like you are reading and enjoying their fics.

How many times have you wished you got a part two to a fic? Or a new fic from an author who stopped writing? I know for people like you it’s easy to click out and just find something else to read, but I’ve lost some of my favourite authors on here because people like you won’t even click a button.

I deserve interaction, all the other creators on here deserve interaction.

TL;DR — You’re selfish, and I don’t want you following me💕

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Sorry pls ignore my last ask BPP. Your point about Seven being the 'Dynamite' equivalent in solo era is a good one and explains the treatment it got. After the BB article I also now understand why BH dropped LC. If BB believed the LC record was 'tainted' with Chinese cash and BH never had that 'Dynamite' promotion plan for it, everything that's happened makes sense. But it still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I can't wash it out. Are we now at the mercy of BB's whims? Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1? I'm just trying to understand how the company is thinking about things without victimizing the members. They all seem to be still working with purpose so I feel they don't feel shortchanged, but from the outside looking inside it doesn't feel fair.

*

Ask 2:

Hi BPP,

Re: bb article

1. Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?

2. I absolutely hate that it is again Jimin that takes the brunt of all this bulshit, I really do. He doesnt deserve this at all. But he is strong, he will be OK. That being said, its making me really upset IRL, so I will have to do some me time.

3. I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)

My opinion is, that while BB is paramount when it comes to big awards season, eventually BB and the awards themselves serve as a kind of promotion, to validate the artist to their (potential) fanbase, keep them invested etc. BTS guys do all of that on their own, with their music, personalities and lyrics. So going forward, if they dont chart as much, dont win as much... It will not matter in the long run. Their fan base is so solid that I trully believe they will have no problem selling multiple stadium stops 25 years from now. Easily.

There will be a significant fandom fall off, when all the people who are here for bragging rights lose their interest. And that is a good thing... But the people who will stay, who love the guys for who they are and for their art, those whose love does not depend on how many grammy noms or BB H100 they recieve... These people will stay and buy the tickets. And their numbers will still be enourmous. Enviable. More than the majority of the western industry plants can only dream of.

Rant over. Have a good weekend

*

Ask 3:

The latest Billboard discussion is disheartening, but the NYT article description of U.S. conservatives aping the tactics of Swifties and BTS fans to get their nefarious messaging across is even more so. Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?

I was struck by this partvof the original question to you"

'... figure out a way to truly determine which songs are most popular (whatever that even means anymore)....'

So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? Even if they number in the millions, we are still looking at support that is far deeper than it is wide.

I mean, better than the suits deciding, I guess? Or is it just another group--this one outside of the target country--imposing their agenda on the population? One has the goal of making money; the other of winning a fan war.

So, how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP? Or doesn't it matter?

***

I've said many times on this blog that I'm not a writer, and that English isn't my first language, so I suppose it's unsurprising that despite my efforts putting my thoughts to paper/Tumblr, I'm still unable to fully communicate it in a way people understand right away, to eliminate/answer a lot of questions that I believe should be clear to infer from what I've written before. So rather than write a massive post like before where my key points could get lost, I'll pick out key questions from your asks and give fairly brief answers to each one. I'll work my way from the top, down.

Hi Anon(s),

Select answers below:

"Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1?"

I think the results speak for itself. Dynamite and the PET got what is easily the biggest support any BTS release had gotten to date at the time - all of it tailored to mirror how American labels promoted their tracks, *and* the fandom had D2C sales buttressing it as the primary support mechanism. Like, please read that sentence again and think about what it means. Sales are the easiest and most transparent way for the fandom to influence charts, and so was always preferred for ARMY. Even if you weren't in the fandom then, understand it's impossible to overstate how much D2C sales mattered. With that now out of the question, everything we're seeing for Seven for me feels like a given, especially after the Billboard article.

"Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?"

Yes. But not 'less relevant' in a sense, more like differentiated and treated as its own thing, perhaps in a separate chart.

"I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)"

This probably requires its own post but the long-short of it is: just like Ticketmaster, Billboard is only one arm of one of the largest private monopolies in the US entertainment market - PMC, and as such they serve as gatekeepers of sorts. Their interest in BTS (and k-pop by extension) lies primarily in how they can profit off the group/fandom, which so far BigHit and ARMY have created very limited avenues for. BigHit's strategy until now has been to expand BTS's reach without relying on the PMC apparatus, using it only for select releases that are explicitly tailored for it e.g. Seven and PET. While I don't think this strategy will change dramatically, every change from BB is to force more compliance with their apparatus. BTS will continue facing handicaps from PMC so long as BigHit continues limiting how PMC can profit from BTS for each release. (This sentence makes sense in my head but if it's not clear, please let me know.)

*

"Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?"

Well, yeah. But ARMYs can't take all the credit. After all, ARMYs are only doing what the Bey Hive and Swifties have been doing for almost a decade with none of the scrutiny. BTS, more than any other group, actually has the absolute numbers in demand and grassroots support to justify it as they're comparable to the afore-mentioned artists, proven by their concert showings not just in the US but worldwide, as far back as 2018. People only started paying attention to ARMYs' movements because BTS didn't look like the sorts of people they expected to see at the top of the charts. Everybody took notice, including a political faction in the US that in recent years has moved more aggressively into the entertainment sphere to influence culture, such as Ben Shapiro's entertainment empire, movies like Sound of Freedom topping box office charts, and conservative country singers pushing Reagan-esque talking points to the top of music charts. So it's basically the result of timing and opportunity.

"So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? ... how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP?"

I've talked about this before I think. You can find my views on it in my Masterlist, and I've linked the post here.

*

People sent in more asks on BB but I've since lost interest in this topic and will post my responses when I feel like it, much later, using the same format I've used to answer the asks above. The truth is that while I understand why many people feel like everything that's happened so far with Seven and Jimin is unfair, I think a lot of the discourse is awfully reductive, actually does a disservice to Jimin and BTS, and that there's a much bigger picture here that's more consistent with how BTS has operated for the last 10 years.

This is probably not the best analogy, but one way I think of BTS is like a Swiss army knife, with each member being a separate tool. And that at different points, in various markets, BigHit and BTS are testing various approaches to expand their reach while aiming to maintain the market share they've gotten so far. The group has always had projects they release that have more artistic merit and cache, versus projects made by all appearances to be purely for commercial purposes to expand the reach of the group. For example, consider how BigHit promoted Butter/Permission to Dance, compared to the BE album, or how Seven was created and promoted relative to Indigo. To go back in even further in previous years, I remember how BTS appeared to center Jimin in Blood, Sweat & Tears era to build out his and their presence in Korea, and Taehyung in DNA era where his and BTS's presence in China ballooned in 2017.

While in the solo era some people feel like every accomplishment remains solely with individual members, I feel everything serves only one purpose: to further establish the group. Because by BTS's own words, they all have their individual ambitions, they've always had that and each member is aggressively competitive on that note, but they've each all said that their priority remains the group. Not everybody likes that, not everybody believes them when they say it, but the good thing with BTS is that they plan in multi-year stints and time always reveals what the facts of the matter are. We're only one year into Chapter 2, and while certain parts of the fandom are treating their solo debut albums as the be all and end all, I don't think there's anything to suggest this perspective lines up with the reality of how BTS has behaved for the last 10 years. I could be wrong, but either way we're just going to have to wait and see. In the meantime, I believe there's significant artistic merit in what the guys are putting out in Chapter 2, that I hope isn't lost in the noise. The fandom should do a better job of bringing the attention back to this, rather than a tunnel-vision on performance metrics that only tell half of the story.

[liauditore]

Thought I might say hello and make some small talk, seeing that I'm camping on your trafficshipping tag and all.

Well hi! Lovely place you've got here. Fantastic art, GREAT vibes, very nice. I'm specially enjoying your character rambling; your takes on them are super interesting and they tickle my brain 👀

May I send Divorce Fource/Quartet and Majorwood for the shipping bingo? Divorce Fource were a right mess (affectionate <3) and a perfect one at that, but I can't help but wonder how the recipe would have turned out if the soul ties were Cleo-Pearl, Martyn-Scott.

Also there is so much potential in Limlife Majorwood for eroguro if you're nasty. Which I am. Time cannibalism, respawning mechanics, birthday time... blender go brrrr 👀

!!!!!!!

y'all are really enabling my habit of long ass posts huh 😭😭

OK SO first off thankyou so much?? thats so sweet?????? 😭😭 i really don't think my character ramblings are anything special, but i like reading other ppls insane takes so i thought i'd provide others with the same 👍

not to get too into it but i feel like a series like life smp is best enjoyed with your own crazy delulu takes (similar to touhou if anyone heres familiar w/ that fandom). and it makes me kinda sad to see ppl arguing abt whats 'canon' or 'correct' cus that's no fun lol

ANYWAY yeah uh im glad u like the vibes!! :J

TREEBARK

this one first cus chronology. I honestly don't know if there's anything I can say here that hasn't been said before? But yeah they're. tasty. something about martyn waiting the entirety of third life to betray ren and never getting the chance and now longing to have him back. lots of regret but regret. for what. yknow. and ren always looking out for martyn even from a distance. and then martyn losing that connection in limlife.

yeah i can see why people ship lmao

uhh i don't really know what else to write here so have some of my insane ramblings copy+pasted from my shipping doc 👍

Martyn fancies himself a schemer, someone who's not afraid to play the game the way it's intended. If that means earning a powerful ally's trust only to shatter it then he was going to do it. Only, Martyn's bark is worse than his bite, and every night he spends in lying awake in those soft, warm sheets that Ren had laid out just for him (freshly washed too, he might add. Smelled like sunshine) he wonders if he can do it. He can, of course. (he can't. he won't. he's too soft. soft and useless.) He'd cut his head off already. (he wants to vomit) (this is why no one needs you. wants you. loves you) Who cares about other people anyway? He is the only one who really matters. (the thought of being alone makes him want to cry) Ren, on the other hand, is a capable leader. The definition of loyal and dependable, if not a bit dramatic. He struggles with self-worth, being good enough, useful enough, powerful enough. But to others, he's the opposite, caring and protective of any who would ask for his aid. After all, every citizen deserves to live in safety and comfort, and providing that is what a good King would do. ~ Martyn's not as sneaky as he thinks he is. Ren knows. Ren sees the signs. It's a death game for a reason. But he doesn't let Martyn know. He doesn't even hold it against him. He doesn't see the bloodthirst anymore, only the broken pieces lying underneath. ~ or the King's Hand, it was the thrill of feeling Useful, Powerful, Feared (loved). He was going to miss it after he betrayed him, the high of bloodlust, the smell in the air as he charged into battle. (the way his hands held him so gently) For the King himself, deep down he knew it was never to be. He had met a monster, but he hoped his efforts calmed the storm ever so slightly. On some days, he pretends to forget about the death game entirely and imagines the speech he'd give to retire his Hand. "You don't have to fight anymore," he'd say, "I'll take care of you from now on, I promise. So put the sword down, okay?" But in the end, it was all a fantasy, wasn't it?

^ yes this is so cheesy but so are they.

Cry with me again Smile with me again Scream with me again Sing with me again Dance with me again Talk to me again…

"Lower One's Eyes" (Oktavia translyrics)

MAJORWOOD

I think.. I talk too much abt scott seeing as that's who everyone points out when it comes to my headcanons 😭😭 but uh i swear everyone else is just as messed up. and martyn is like. just as bad if not worse (if that wasn't made clear from my ramblings before)

anyway uh say it with me rebound 👏 relationship 👏

i think they're both.. very numb to it all once limlife rolls around. they're just tired and have this mutual understanding and both think they're horrible people. martyn just wants to play the game. scott doesn't even know what he wants anymore.

but ofc, they're both still human and want love and comfort, so they try to seek that from one another. even if it's fake. even if it doesn't matter in the end.

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

Washing Machine Heart (Mitski)

We’re the Delusioned Victim Cash-in Union Praise to the “love” that will bring salvation!  Two fools singing to a shallow melody Restart, reflation, teleportation Time and again we’re stuck in rotation Circles inside a love without any ending

MKDR (SirHamnet Lyrics)

Scott uses Martyn as a replacement for Jimmy and Martyn uses Scott as a replacement for Ren. they know they dislike eachother (see: all of double life) and that only one of them will make it out alive. but they can't get that love and comfort from anyone else now.

also uhhh eroguro my beloved...... im assuming this is getting brought up cus of my mentions of loving eroguro in the past. and yes to all of that very much i agree. but i do have kind of.. a limit to what i do w/ these characters specifically because of the fandom/ccs (at least publicly). if i ever do decide to share the nastier stuff in my head or go into detail on gore and whatnot i'd probs make a sideblog and tuck it away and maybe block scott and martyn for always somehow showing up on my posts lmao

[unchataparis]

I gotta say, one of my most hated salt trope is when Gabriel or Audrey prefer Marinette over Adrien and Chloé. They see Marinette as the better child/the more talented/the more deserving and the entire fic's plot revolve around Adrien/Chloé's realisation and concluding devastation over that fact. :/

Salt has a questionable status in this fandom, as it does in most fandoms, but as I've come to unpleasantly realise, most people who are writing salt are, in fact, not twelve or thirteen year olds but full grown adult with jobs, career, even children of their own.

Sometimes, I see posts that are so overwhelmingly filled with hatred for certain characters, it's shocking to realise that you guys aren't being ironic, you're being for real. Your opinion is yours to have, and all of your emotions and feelings are valid. It's always good to be passionate rather than bland. I'm sure that if we were to meet on the streets, no one would be this zealous over their opinion of a children's cartoon show. But I feel like some of you are so sucked into this imaginary, badly-written, fan service-orientated world, you've forgotten your common sense and dedicated effort that this show does not deserve into defending your favourite, mistreated characters.

This show isn't well-written. It has questionable plots and characters. Thomas Astruc is a dubious man. These are all facts that no one is arguing against. But even with all these truths in the air, it still doesn't justify the sheer amount of unregulated hatred reserved for certain characters.

I'm speaking to the 'I live for salt' girlies who churns out Marinette Deserves Better wips on the daily. The people who are swearing at each other on the Internet over whether or not Chloé is a good person and deserves to be redeemed. I'm talking about those who accuse Lovesquare shippers of enabling toxic relationship and misogyny.

What are you talking about?

I don't think any of you truly believe that Miraculous is bad for children or that it's upholding the patriarchy, you're simply grasping onto whimsical straws of social justice in order to advance your own egocentric agenda.

Fandoms are meant to be a safe place to discuss your interests and find like-minded friends who aren't available in your local area. Not a feedback loop of aggrandising, disproportionate speculation.

If you hate the show so much, you're not even watching it anymore and following other people's social media AUs instead – nothing wrong with that, but you do realise that means you have no idea what you're talking about, right? If the show is so terrible and you don't even care about XXX or YYY, why not just leave? Place your time and effort into something that wouldn't make you so angry and dissatisfied?

I've been watching Miraculous for about six years now, and this show has a lot of impact on my artistic and internal psyche and it means a lot to me and I can see both the good and the faults in it. But at the end of the day, the characters of Miraculous are literally just characters. They're not real, they don't have opinions of their own, and they do what they do at the behest of the people writing them. You can't let yourself be consumed by their fictional plights.

Take this statement with a grain of salt and know that there is fluctuations to the fact of it, there are always exceptions, but: fandom arguments are ultimately pointless. There's better, more worthwhile things to do. There's always going to be annoying, infuriating people, you don't want to add yourself to the mix. Think about it, what's your endgame? That everyone will apologise to you and admit that you were right and follow all your opinions? That the writers of the show will change the story and rewrite everything according to your suggestions and 'corrections'? You're bitterly giving all your energy to something that will never reward you.

[reginamangala]

Chapter 50 Release!

Chapter 50 of Sanguimancy is out now:

Your support, shares, comments, etc. are as always appreciated.

It took me a lot longer to write than I thought. To make a long story short though, last year I almost died. And I'm terrified to talk about it.

Back in 2023, I tried to make more friends, especially in the writing and fandom space. Most of those efforts went really well, and I still cherish those friends to this day. Some, however, went disastrously.

I ended up having some disagreements with certain people. I don't claim to be perfect when it comes to this, of course, but I did the best I could with the feelings and information I had at that time, given how I was treated and what I knew.

We’re adults, so I wanted to keep the disagreements private. Sadly, that option was taken away from me. Another blow came soon after: someone I considered a good friend betrayed my trust, completely blindsiding me.

As some of you know I have a lot of health issues, both genetic and mental. The stress from all this exacerbated those conditions to the point where my life was actually in jeopardy, and I had to work really, really hard to get back to being semi-stable again.

The only reason I bring this up now is because despite my continued silence, certain people are still out there badmouthing me to people I've never met. Half of the people doing this I've never even spoken to, not once.

It's been seriously hindering my health and productivity, and all I want is for this group to leave me alone so I can heal, and write, and try to be happy in this space again. But they haven't, and I don't know if they ever will.

So if any of them read this, I'm asking you, please, just leave me alone. Leave my friends alone. Keep my name out of your mouth. I’m sure you think what you’re doing is justified, but at this point it’s starting to look like bullying, even if that's not the intention.

To all my readers, thank you for supporting me. An extra big thank you to all my commenters, fan artists, podfic creators, Discord community members, spinoff writers, cosplayers, and fan merch makers as well. Your love and support has kept me alive, and I love you all.

At the end of the day, I just want to be okay. I don't want to be afraid to make new friends anymore. I don't want to have to deal with this pain anymore.

Please remember that I'm just a person. I'm a human. And I deserve kindness, too.

Thank you for your time ❤️

[dasenergi-diary]

Thanks for the tag, @africanmorning!

Favorite Pseudonym: Das Energi is the one I have used for 20+ years. I even own dasenergi.com

Time Zone: Pacific

Star Sign: I am a Pisces. Here is the whole chart:

Favorite Holidays: Christmas Eve & Halloween. I’d like to celebrate Groundhog Day more, send Groundhog Day cards, have a Groundhog Day party.

Last Meal: Geronimo and I went to Modica’s Deli in Long Beach and I had a cold veggie sandwich with fresh mozzarella, roasted bell peppers, tomato, lettuce, pesto, oil & vinegar, and pickles. And I drank an iced mocha latte. I really should have breakfast.

Current Favorite Musician: I have been listening to @autumnluzarts a lot lately.

Last Music Listened to: Eartha Kitt, “Under the Bridges of Paris”

Last Movie Watched: Godzilla Minus One

Last TV Show Watched: For All Mankind

Last Book Finished: Francesca Lia Block, “The Hanged Man”

Last Book Abandoned: Do I ever truly abandon any book I haven’t finished yet? I fully expect to finish all of them some day. But the most recent book that has been sitting on my nightstand unread for weeks is, “The 21 Lessons of Merlyn: A Study in Druid Magic & Lore”

Currently Reading: Umm… “The 21 Lessons of Merlyn: A Study in Druid Magic & Lore”?

Books/Shows/Movies you want to get around to: Books - Oh, I have several on my to-read pile for 2024. Partciularly a few gay romance novels. I also want to re-read all of Francesca Lia Block's Weeztie Bat books. But I promised @teenakp I would read Terry Pratchett’s “Nation” next. Shows - I am eager to watch Brit Marling and Zal Batmanglij’s “A Murder at the End of the World”. Movies - I am planning to rewatch all of the original Sean Connery James Bond movies. Followed by all the Indiana Jones movies. Or maybe it's the other way around.

Last Thing Researched: I looked up the lyrics to Eartha Kitt’s “Under the Bridges of Paris”. Does that count?

Last Thing Learned: Ummm… that “Under the Bridges of Paris” is totally about having sexy times under the bridges of Paris, just as I expected it to be. (It was the B-Side to Eartha Kitt's “Santa Baby” 45 RPM vinyl.)

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: Umm… Neil Gaiman reblogging one of my posts? Leslie Jordan congratulating me on publishing my first book?

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Have A Resurgence: I expect I’ll probably rewatch “The OA” after watching Brit Marling and Zal Batmanglij’s “A Murder at the End of the World”. It's been awhile since I rewatched it. I wonder what it will be like this time.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" But You Wish It Did: Heck, I am surprised that “For All Mankind” even has a small fandom at all. Most things I like aren't very popular. But two shows that come to my mind. Back in 2020 Alex Garland had a great sci-fi show on Hulu called “Devs”. It deserved a bigger following when it aired. And more recently, there was a great French/Japanese show on Apple TV based on a manga about wine tasting called “Drops of God”. I wish it had a bigger following… I wanted people to talk to about it when the new episodes were airing weekly.

Tempting Project You Don't Have Time For: I know I have a follow-up to my book “Rewrite the Stars” inside of me. Like a do-over. I put so much of myself into that one and it never caught on. I had higher hopes for it. As an artist I try to push on the accepted norms of our medium — new ways of thinking, seeing, experiencing. But society doesn’t know how to approach things it doesn’t understand. Constantly feeling misunderstood isn’t very motivating. Why put so much time and effort into something that no one will read? The follow-up lives in my mind, and right now that is good enough for me. Who has time to write another book? I'd rather sleep and dream.

Tempting Project I've Given In to: Out with the old, and in with the new. I have been going through the house and garage getting rid of things I haven't used or doesn't resonate with me anymore. For example, I donated seven boxes of books to the Friends of the Library. But there is still a lot in this house I need to sort though. My current project is the garage. Next will be the closet.

Tagging: @persepinesascent and @teenakp if you are in the mood for it.

[demonictumble]

fic rec list (2/??)

Wow folks, back again! I got motivated so here I am, making another list!!

PSA: As always, make sure to leave a comment on these fics (or really any fic) you choose to read. It doesn't have to be much, but please remember, fandom is a community. We should not mindlessly consume anymore. Don't take those authors and fics you love for granted, give them the praise they deserve.

Also Note: these are recs that I've read more than a year ago, so forgive me for being vague. There's a high possibility I don't remember much except main plot points (and maybe even not that). And I don't have enough time to reread them all (I wish I did).

Without further ado:

DC (mostly batman)

Reverse Robins: Joker Junior series by miyaji_08 (complete)

Tim Drake centered. Basically he's joker junior, shenanigans occur, especially in the second one.I LOVE THESE. I am not kidding when I say I have read these two fics multiple times over. The writing style is incredible. The batman family feels very unified, which is at odds of canon but I'm a sucker of family <33. And it is reverse robin, but such an interesting take. Tim isn't Red Hood (joker junior as it says in the title), but he does kill people I believe. Idk it's been a while. Anyways, If you find the concept of reverse robins interesting, this one is definitely a must-read!! The second one also features the core-fore mildly so there's that to look forward to.

when doves cry by Scarlet_Ribbons (complete)

This is a masterfully written one shot. It's gorgeous and painful in the best ways possible. Tim drake centric (wow seeing a theme here eh) with brother Jason Todd. This is a sort of drakes were neglectful type fic but that's not the main focus. I think it was more about Tim and Jason's relationship. This was BEAUTIFULLY written. The author is terrific at what they do and my eyes were blessed.

zugzwang by sardonic_sprite (complete)

I don't remember much of this one, but I can remember the association of angst I felt with it. It was a good read, but do be mindful of the tags for triggers or anything of the sort. It features Ra's and Tim, and it's just owiefaksdfkwkf. Now I gotta go reread it wow. Maybe this list is just a reread list for me lmao.

you are somebody's baby; some mother held you near by nosecoffee (complete)

oh man. This is a one shot btw. I just reread this because the title hit me in the gut and also to refresh my memory. And holy cow. This was omg. Neglectful Drakes and baby Tim. It was hurt/comfort. It's a really good read and I recommend it fs.

Testosterone cypionate, 50 mg by lesbianmaki (complete)

Oneshot! This is the first one shot I read with trans Tim and it was brilliant. I love the interactions in this fic and I'm glad it introduced me to this head canon! I think Jack Drake is an alright parent? very mediocre in this but not abusive I don't think from what I can recall. Great writing <3

Running Rings 'Round by justapoorboy (incomplete 2/4)

This is a crack-ish fic, but I enjoyed it immensely. It really spoke to my soul in critiquing the status of the healthcare system through its ability to favor the rich and really leave the poor to fend for themselves. Basically Tim and morally-grayness occurs through his entrance to the black market (?? Sort of??). I'm not describing it very well, you'll just have to read it and see ig.

Can't Stay Down (a documentary) by SonoSvegliato (complete)

Tim gets his tonsils out (wow he's down a lot of organs lmao). The amount of effort the author put in is clearly visible. I don't recall much other than good dad bruce and so much comfort. It was great!!

Statue of Limitations by Oka_Hills1232 (complete)

BILLY BATSON. Aren't you guys glad its something other than batman (I know I am, wow I had a phase). One shot of Billy revealing his age to the justice league and shenanigans occur. This is hilarious and I remember mentally giggling so much during it. It's so fun and if I ever have a bad day, I would want to end it off with this, just to make things better.

The Time Lost in Between by Magical_Devil_Alex (complete)

ANOTHER BILLY BATSON. Oh captain marvel, here to save us from the excess batman. Oh never mind, this is centered around batman and captain marvel. I vaguely remember this fic and Billy is trying so hard to outmaneuver the world's greatest detective and it is brilliant. It's a great concept and executed very well! Terrific!!!

Settle Our Bones series (Idk if it's complete but there are 8 works)

Okay I'll be honest I don't really remember anything about this and it's too long to reread. (wow am I secretly dory) Here's what I do remember tho: The characterization Is magnificent. Everyone has their flaws, especially because of past traumas/events and their actions make sense and I don't ever see them as irrational. It's a fix it of Jason never dies but Tim is still there for the ride. I believe there's bad parents Jack and Janet, but I'm not 100% sure. It's a great (and long) series so definitely read it if you can <3

Just A Kid by sardonic_sprite (incomplete 3/?)

Jason Todd and his goons and ig the bats added to the mix. That's it. It's hilarious and the humor is *chefs kiss*.

A Good Soldier by VioletVain (complete)

I was locked into the idea of social media AUs in the DC universe, and that's where this came in. It's one of the best social media AUs that I've seen from whatI can remember. It's great, IT basically talks about the debate of in-universe outsiders talking about child soldiers and just robin. Great take on internet discourse that would undoubtedly occur within the DC universe!

stay gold by airyfaerie (complete)

OH MY GOSH. I VIVIDLY RECALL THIS ONE SHOT. This was a gorgeous fic dedicated to Damian and Duke's relationship, especially as people of color. It talks about their different cultures and Damian's experience with his culture. This is especially important to me because the amount of times I have seen people white-wash characters within fandom spaces is insane. BUT THIS ONE. This one, you can tell the author has done their research or knows their stuff, because the feelings that Damian emits, I can feel. I feel seen with this fic. With complex undertones and how do you find your place in a world that is so different from your culture. It talks about food and. Im just, it's gorgeous and PLEASE READ IT AND COMMENT ON IT I BEG.

The other works in the series are terrific as well!! This is just the one that struck me right in the heart and I will forever yell about it.

robin's roast by envysparkler (complete)

This concept is so funny. Jason coming back just to be a coffee shop owner. I loved it!! It's a fic about Jason getting back to the family and STEPH!! Oh how I've missed her.

shut eye by audreycritter (complete)

oh wow. complex mother Janet, oh how I love complex female characters. The exploration of the mother/son relationship that Janet and Tim possess. This is beautiful and intricate and it touches my heart. Everyone's just trying and sometimes that's not enough and its just *sigh*. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous writing. But then again, anything by this author is beautiful. It's a sign for all of you to binge everything this author has written RIGHT NOW.

A children's story by TheResurrectionist (complete)

"4 batkids walk into a bank" great summary of it truly. It was a funny fic and please! I sound like a broken machine but do read this one too!! It's *mwah*.

A classic cold brew by Chimie_Chat (incomplete)

alternate universe!! This was my first damijon (Damian Wayne and Jonathan Kent) fic that I've read and it is the reason I like the pairing. It's such a cute little coffee shop AU, where Jon is a barista bc poor guy just wants a car and Damian is a regular. It's great!! I'm so glad this was my introduction into the damijon ship.

Straight on Til Morning by Merils (complete)

OKay,, THIS IS THE KON EL AUTHOR AND THE KON FIC. This Is what got me to read earlier comics and really superman comics as a while. The author is spectacular and really knows what they are doing. I could rave on and on about this fic. Kon and his relationship with growing up and adult hood and what was his adolescence ( did he even really have one ).

There is timkon, but that is definitely not the full focus of this fic and do not focus on the bats when the supers have such a complex relationship with each other. KonEl is spectacular and this fic really shows his chracterization and his relationships with other characters like Clark and his father/brother/uncle who even knows type relationship with him, And then the core four too!!. PLEAE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS I BEG OF YOU ON MY KNEES AND UNDERSTAND HOW BEAUTIFUL TH ESUPERS ARE AND OMG

Cross-Over

The Tailor Universe by LittleInkling64 (main work is completed)

This is so cute!! Marinette and Jason Todd get paired up together. I think Jason thought Marinette was some trafficker but soon realizes she isn't and they help each other out (sort of). I don't remember much but I do recall it was great !!

okay that's enough for now. I did this one in one sitting too. Im gonna go to sleep.

[pacificwanderer]

Soooooo what are your thoughts on the Rey film?

Hey Nonnie,

I have a lot of feelings LOL. None of my ire is directed at you, and I'm trying not to get too worked up given that we know who the director will be and that Daisy will be in it (everything is meant in a general sense, and it's just my feelings on the matter so whatever). Also, given their track record with directors and writers.... we'll see how it all ends up going!

As far as story, well...

So this is such a coincidence, given that I just saw Su//zume and was thinking that if anything that follows up TRoS ISN'T at least thematically similar to that movie, I don't want it. It still holds.

This is my interpretation, and if others don't agree. That's fine. I'm not really looking to argue with anyone or win anyone over lol. People are allowed to have different interpretations of media, but for me, TRoS didn't work. Both as a fan of the ST and as a lifelong fan of SW. And I don't know how they plan on moving forward with that fucking albatross weighing them down! I really don't!

My problem was and remains that TRoS IS NOT REY'S STORY or really any of the ST characters, it's all focused on the past and that's not a great way to build a point to go forward from. Hell, it's not really even a story so much as characters moving from one set piece to another in an effort to disguise how it's a movie that's basically serving one purpose: address and make up for prior criticism (mostly from re//ddit and prolific you//tubers).

I could go point by point about how that film was set up to make up for "disappointing" certain fans with how TLJ went, but I don't have the time rn for that (I have a lot of work to do in the next few days and not much time, but here i am on tumblr lol). I'm sure it's been done to death, anyway, but people far more eloquent than I.

That film is and was and ever will be is a reactionary film that was made to be an answer to very specific criticism from a very specific subset of the fandom, and it failed. Not only to address their criticisms but to stand on its own as a film. That story takes Rey, takes her character and her story, and reskins her to be Luke 2.0.

But they didn't want that. Those fans didn't want her to be a stand-in for Luke. They didn't want her to symbolically be a Sky//walker, they wanted her to BE one via BIRTH (Luke's daughter or whatever). What we got was insulting to those fans and to fans of TLJ. It's one of the more blatant examples of pandering that I can think of (even if it's badly done), and I really don't know if I'm ever gonna get over it entirely lol. Like I've mostly moved on because there are storytellers out there busting their ass telling stories that deserve to be told, so I have other things to focus on.

Rey's story needs to be her own, and I don't know how they're going to accomplish that given what's happened in TRoS. She's not her own character anymore. She's just... a vessel. Fuck I hate that. I hate saying that! I HATE IT! But that comes from the creators themselves! I love Rey! I wouldn't have written like three-quarters of a million words of fanfic about her world otherwise! AND THEY DID NOT. AND IT SHOWS.

And it's personally offensive to me that they took a character that I loved THE WAY SHE WAS and tried to make her fit for people who were committed to hating her from the start!!!! How dare they! And not just her, but what they did with the rest of the ST characters makes me so fucking angry i have a hard time being chill about it lol.

Anyway, I have some reservations about their ability to craft a tale that's going to honor her character and not just be some sort of way for Luke to jump in and take over the narrative again. As he's done before and will do again (hi there, man//do, nice luke you got there for no fucking reason).

Anyway, I very much try to keep to my own corner of the fandom because I just don't have the energy for much these days, so I'm sure other people have different feelings about it all. I hope it goes well! I doubt it will! Like Andor was great, but Tony is a great storyteller, and I don't think the person they've tacked on to finish the Rey script is capable of doing her justice (sorry bro, PB is good, but it's tragic, do I want that for Rey??? no).

Storytelling should be the first and foremost thing they're focusing on, and... I don't really trust them in that regard anymore. The SW ip is too all over the place, and there's a certain note of cynicism that just seems to infect everything these days. I'm fucking tired of the american monomyth, i'm tired of campbell redux (with no deeper thought or criticism of the aforementioned, just shallow retelling to tick of fucking plot points and NOTHING MORE).

It just... feels like they're trying to find their way without really thinking about what got them to this point. I hope it doesn't suck, but if it does, then there's always fanfic.

PERSONALLY idgaf about rebuilding the gd jedi temple, so i hope THAT changes because it's been done and they fucked up REPEATEDLY like how many movies do we really need of that!!!?? God, there's a whole wide sw universe out there, and they make it feel so small.

So fucking small. What a waste.

TLDR:

Anyway! Hope it works out for anyone who's interested. If anyone's really interested in how I'd like a post-tros narrative to go, please go see su//zume. i fucking adore it to bits and pieces.

Cheers, Nonne!

[majorbaby]

I don’t actually know if this is an “unpopular” opinion tbh but. I’ve seen several posts over my time in mash fandom about teaching Jamie Farr about Klinger’s gender identity/trans and nonbinary identity in general and they always rub me the wrong way.

It’s possible I’m mistaken (I’ve heard it said that Jamie Farr was the one that asked for Klinger to stop cross-dressing, but I’ve not found a source for this, and he’s not ever mentioned it in the multiple interviews he’s given since mash ended, at least to my knowledge).

But yeah basically none of the mash cast members are Unproblematic (they’re!! people!!) and I think Farr has a reputation as like, homophobic or transphobic or something when I think that’s really undeserved.

lol, i agree, that's kind of corny. i'm sure i've rb'd posts like that because i think they're silly and fun and i would never seriously consider explaining to an actor what they 'didn't get' about a character they played unless i was being paid to direct them.

i tend not to seek out the political views of creators unless i feel it could help me understand their work a bit more, and even then it's not something i rely on heavily. if you're saying that his asking to not wear dresses anymore is what people are going on when they say he's transphobic like, that's a huge leap imo.

my discomfort comes more from the idea that we're giving credit where it isn't due by claiming farr 'doesn't get' that klinger is a canonically trans icon (which i don't think i've seen anyone claim but tbh, and i've complained about this a lot recently, i have no fucking clue when people are talking about their headcanons and when they're talking about a narrative read).

the unspoken part of my 'klinger is canonically a rebel' post was that i wanted to point out that that's a real thing, and sometimes i think we're looking very hard for things to project onto our favourite characters that actually already exist, but in a different or less specific way. other times you're simply patting someone on the back who didn't ask for it, and doesn't deserve to be congratulated for whatever is being claimed they've done. i got no problem with gender and sexuality headcanons, but that's just one way to engage with a text, i'm providing alternatives that give me what i want in the realm of canon, which is less work than making up my own stuff and also acknowledges the efforts of the creators :)

i've also read he asked to stop wearing dresses because he didn't want his kids being made fun of - and that's fair. that might even be a legitimate concern for an actor to have today. it's important we still acknowledge that he was the 'man in a dress' - they knew that would get laughs they played into that, even if part of it was about his rebellion against the army. being willing to 'act crazy' by wearing a dress was a bankable character beat, few people were likely saying to themselves at the time 'hey, why is it crazy for a man to wear skirts?' - there's intent, and then there's impact. nowadays here on the insular tumblr dot com, people are calling klinger beautiful and attractive and inspiring because of his dresses, and i'm sure some people did back then too, but that's not what the creators were counting on happening.

[tastyfishistasty]

13 years on Tumblr retrospective

Having looked through all the posts I personally made since 2010 I can see so many changes and so many things that have stayed the same. It's been sad and interesting and also some good bits!

The world spins ever on.

Followers and Following

My lovely lovely mutuals and followers have always been so kind and so helpful 💜💜💜, so many posts and conversations that I forgot, but were like little treasures to find!

It makes me so sad to know some of the people I interacted with so often are no longer here and I have no way of finding them. I miss them and I hope they are happy and doing well.

I've still never broken into having 100 followers, but those that do follow me are the best 🎉

Fandoms etc

I miss some of the fandoms I used to care so much about! Merlin, Bluestone 42, HTTYD, supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Brooklyn 99, Narnia...

Some I will watch occasionally, some not with a barge pole.

Then of course the big two that I can't touch anymore that make me sad because people are awful.

There's a post I saw about the first RTX UK which I couldn't go to in the end and I'm gushing about you know who and it makes me sick to remember how much I loved them. I watch Jeremy on twitch and I love him, but I can't watch the back catalogue anymore and I used to watch them on repeat.

I used to have the tag "Achievement Hunter is saving my life". And it did. It gave me things to look forward to and it was good and happy and positive and safe. But it wasn't. It's ruined and it's never coming back.

For the other one... I wrote fan fic, it was how I got into fandom at all! I made my own fandom merch (embarrassing as fuck now), but all that care and effort was not deserved by the creator and I hope she rots away and stops hurting people I care about.

Dragon age has been around for me such a very long time and I wish it worked on my old laptop now EA has updated their app thing.

My MCs have really changed and grown and I see so many mistakes and misunderstandings in my own view of the world, seeing how they've changed and I've changed is really rewarding!

Me!

Looking back at some of my OG posts, I was so good at hiding that I was ace. I assumed I was normal, I'd had a serious boyfriend!

Yeah no. You can track my nonsense as I figure it out, the "thirst" posts disappearing and my Sherlock phase was getting worse (yes, that's how I figured out what Asexual was, when someone said Sherlock Holmes was... the shaaaaaaame 🤦).

And by "thirst" posts, I mean "isn't X pretty? I like his face". That's it.

My dude, that is aesthetic attraction not romantic or sexual. You are asexual as fuck, stop trying to not be.

Then there's the "I'm double A not triple A, what a shame!" posts. Shockingly, wanting to be Agender too but feeling it can't be you, because it's only for people who know exactly what they are... is a sign you might actually be Agender.

It's both more complicated and not complicated at all with my gender, but Agender works and I like being a tiny battery, so I got here eventually.

Most recently there's the mental health side. I use a side blog for that, but it's still on Tastyfishistasty. It's so sad to look and see me trying so hard to fight my "atypical cyclic depression" and feeling so lazy and broken.

It was ADHD and emotional dysregulation, doc, not a fancy depression.

If my ear doctor hadn't said anything, I don't know if I'd ever have realised. It's scary to know how much of myself was revealed because I didn't actually have hearing problems, I have attention problems and auditory processing issues...

Thank you to anyone that has been on this journey with me, either my lovely followers and mutuals or just for reading this long post!

I'm not going anywhere unless they kick me out as they close the building, this post was born from finally receiving the "made 100 posts" badge and wanting to see how many I'd actually made. (It's 210 original and 15,090 reblogs... so Tumblr needs to learn to count.)

I wish I had time to back this blog up, or at least go through and find the important stuff I don't want to loose, but that's a lot of work and Tumblr does not like me going too far on my own blog, so unless there's a way to put it somewhere else to look... who knows.

Anyway

Thanks everyone 💜

And Tumblr: