#but so is he <3 and he makes it worth it <3

[mercvry-glow]

Stop making this hurt

parings. jack abbot x doctor!reader

summary. jack knew he didn’t want to go to pitt fest, instead suggesting you take a few of your girl friends on your day off. little does he know that decision leads to you experiencing the worst day of your life without him.

warnings. pitt fest incident, guns/shootings, hospital setting, blood and gore, reader gets hurt, death (not reader), medical inaccuracies and not show accurate but i tried my best, jack and robby are stressed af, let me know if there's anything else!

notes. finally my first pitt fest fic, hopefully this is angsty enough for ya'll and pleases all of my anons who asked for this! I love all of you, thank you for almost 300 followers and as always any and all feedback is appreciated!

wc. 3600+

You knew it was a long shot trying to convince Jack to come with you to Pitt-Fest.

Crowds were never his thing, not even before his time as an Army medic. Too loud, too many moving parts, too unpredictable. Add a decade of trauma medicine on top of that, and the thought of shoulder-to-shoulder festival traffic was enough to make him visibly tense. You didn’t blame him — not even a little.

And as much as you loved your husband, you weren’t going to fight him on this one.

“Go have fun,” he’d told you that morning, standing in the doorway in his usual worn t-shirt and sweats, a coffee mug in one hand and the other wrapped around your waist. “Text me when you get there. And text me again when you leave. And maybe don’t lose your phone this time?”

You’d rolled your eyes, kissed him once, then twice — and promised to behave.

Truly, it was better for him to spend his one of his days off actually resting, not galavanting around the venue with you and your friends, half-drunk on overpriced cider and yelling about pierogi trucks.

So you let yourself enjoy it. The chaos, the music, the warm breeze coming off the river. You danced with your friends in the middle of the concert to some college band playing covers too fast. You tasted six different kinds of barbecue and took a picture with a guy dressed like a giant bottle of Heinz ketchup. And every couple hours, your phone buzzed with a little check-in from Jack — usually short, always a little dry since he wasn’t a big texter.

JACKY [1:14 PM] You hydrated today or just vibes?

JACKY [3:06 PM] Hope the pierogi truck is worth the foot traffic.

JACKY [4:11 PM] Home if you need me. 

You were smiling at that last one about to respond around 5pm, standing in line for boozy lemon slushies with Emma and a few others, when it happened.

At first, it was just a sound — one that didn’t register immediately. A sharp crack in the distance. Then another. Then screaming.

The crowd surged before your brain caught up. Someone dropped their drink. Someone else shoved you sideways. Your phone slipped out of your hand and hit the pavement.

“Is that—” Emma started to say, eyes wide.

You grabbed her wrist and pulled. “Run.”

You didn’t know where the shots had come from. You didn’t stop to look. You just moved — through the panicked chaos, toward the edge of the crowd, ducking behind a food truck with a group of strangers just as another round cracked the air like lightning.

Your chest was tight. Ears ringing. People were yelling. Crying. Calling for help. And your phone—your phone was still on the street.

Jack.

You couldn’t call him.

But he’d know. You didn’t know how, you just knew.

And however a mile away, as police scanners lit up and trauma alerts pinged on hospital radios, Jack was already on his feet — keys in hand, work boots half tied—and heart racing faster than he’d felt since he returned to US soil.

He didn’t wait for a callback. Didn’t care that he wasn’t on the schedule. He grabbed his badge and his trauma bag and was in the truck before the next dispatcher finished her second sentence.

Because something had happened at Pitt-Fest.

And you were there.

It really sounded like a firecracker at first — maybe someone messing around near the alley that ran behind the Pitt-Fest booths. But then came the second, then the third. Screaming followed.

You turned your head just in time to see another wave of people running. And then—

“EMMA!!”

She was beside you one second, and the next, she was down.

You didn’t think. You couldn’t think. You just dropped to your knees, catching her head before it hit the pavement, your mind going a mile a minute.

“Hey, hey—Em—look at me,” you said, your voice louder than you realized. “Where were you hit?”

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her hands were pressed to her stomach, blood already soaking through her shirt and fingers.

“Fuck,” you hissed. “Okay. Okay, pressure. Emmy, stay with me. You’re gonna be okay.”

You barely noticed the searing pain until your legs buckled and you were on your side. A sharp, ripping sensation tore through your ribs like glass.

Shot. 

You had been shot too.

Someone was shouting. A vendor nearby had flipped a table and was screaming for people to duck. A stranger—a kid, maybe barely twenty not much younger than you—ran toward you both through the chaos, eyes wide.

“Are you hurt? I have a truck—”

“Help us—please!” you said, trying to sit up, trying not to black out. “I’m a doctor—ER. Trauma. She needs a hospital now.”

He nodded, panicked, glancing at the blood now pooling on the concrete. “We’re like five blocks from PTMC—I’ll drive!”

You helped haul Emma up with shaking arms, biting back a cry when your chest screamed in protest. She groaned as you dragged her toward the curb, her weight nearly toppling you.

The kid had his pickup pulled up half on the sidewalk within seconds.

“Put her in the bed!” you ordered. “It’ll be faster to lift her in!”

Someone else joined—another panicked bystande —helping you hoist Emma into the truck bed as gently and as quickly as possible. You climbed in after her, teeth gritted, your once cute outfit sticky with blood.

“Go!” you screamed as the tailgate slammed shut behind you.

The engine roared and the truck peeled off, tires screeching. You barely held on, your legs braced against the wheel well, one arm clamped across Emma’s wound, the other pressing against your own side to slow the bleeding.

“You’re okay,” you told her, voice tight, even though you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince. “Emma, you’re gonna make it. You’re not fucking dying at Pitt-Fest! I won’t let you.”

Her eyes fluttered, and you cursed under your breath, checking her pulse. 

Thready. Too fast.

You knew you had minutes. Maybe less.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew Jack was at the Pitt. On shift or not, he was always there when it mattered.

He had no idea you were on your way. Or that you were bleeding out in the back of a stranger’s truck, racing through downtown Pittsburgh.

But if you made it… if you could just hold on a little longer…

You’d see him again.

The truck rattled like it was going to fall apart with every pothole it hit on Carson Street. The shocks weren’t built for this kind of weight or speed, and the stranger behind the wheel didn’t care. He’d barely said a word since he’d skidded to a stop at the edge of the chaos. Now, you could barely hold your head up.

Emma was curled in on herself across from you, clutching the side of the truck bed like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to earth. Her glitter jacket was soaked through—Msot of it hers, some of it not—and her ponytail had come loose, curls hanging limp against her face.

You turned your head toward her, everything in you aching.

“Em,” you rasped.

She didn’t answer.

“Emma, look at me.”

She did, finally. Her lip was split, her eyes glassy. She was holding her side with one hand, the other shaking where it pressed against her stomach. Blood oozed through her fingers.

“Hurts,” she whispered.

“I know.” You reached out, hand slick and trembling. You were starting to feel lightheaded, the pain in your side sharp and spreading, warm and wet and endless. “You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay. We’re almost there.”

She nodded—but then her gaze dropped to your side, and her eyes widened. “Babe… you're—”

“Don’t look at me.” Your voice cracked, barely above a whisper. “Just breathe, Em. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

You weren’t sure if that was true. The blood loss was getting worse. Your top was drenched. The bullet had torn low, near your hip, and every bump in the road sent fresh agony lancing through your whole body. You tried to apply pressure but your arm wouldn’t stop shaking.

The guy driving honked again, swerving around a city bus. Ahead, PTMC’s trauma bay came into view, the red trauma flags flapping against the gray building. Almost there. Almost safe.

Then Emma made a sound that shattered you.

It was small. Wet. A choking breath followed by nothing.

You lurched forward, dragging yourself toward her with everything you had left. 

“Emma—Emmy. Stay awake. Look at me.”

Her head lolled. Her eyes were still open, just barely. “I’m really cold,” she whispered.

“No, baby. No, you’re not.” You gathered her into your lap, tried to shield her with what strength you had left. “We’re here. You’re okay.”

The truck hit the curb at full speed, rocking the bed. The brakes screamed as it slid sideways, stopping half a second before it would’ve crashed into the wall of the trauma bay. And then hands—at least half a dozen of them—were yanking open the tailgate.

Chaos.

“Two critical GSWs in the back—Jesus, they’re both going out!”

“She’s losing consciousness!”

“Someone help me get her—”

“She’s coding!”

You heard all of it like you were underwater. You were vaguely aware of someone pulling Emma from your limp arms. Someone else catching you as your head dropped back, limp, blood seeping down your spine.

A nurse’s voice rang out as she tried to open your airway.

“Who is she—anyone got a name?!”

No one answered.

Inside the trauma bay, Jack was elbow-deep in yet another chest wound, barking orders, adrenaline humming through his veins. He didn’t hear the commotion at the ambulance bay over the noise of suction and a flatline monitor. Didn’t look up when the bay doors slammed open again.

Didn’t know.

Didn’t know that somewhere down the hall, two trauma rooms were opening side by side—one for your best friend who wouldn’t make it, and one for you, his wife, who just might.

Not yet.

But he would.

He always did.

Now rushing inside to the hub, “Her BP’s eighty systolic and dropping—she’s hemorrhaging fast.”

“Pulse is thready. Pupils sluggish.”

“Get Dr. Robby in here, now!”

The trauma bay was already spinning into motion when Michael stepped through the sliding doors, hand dragging down over his messy brown hair. He was halfway into his  new trauma gown as he crossed the room.

“What’ve we got?”

“GSW to the lower abdomen. Entry left, possible exit—can’t tell through the bleeding. She was brought in non-EMS, unknown downtime.”

Robinavitch’s eyes tracked the chaos instantly, sharp and assessing. He reached the foot of the bed and froze just long enough to squint at your face beneath the mask of blood, dirt, and bruises. Something flickered across his expression.

“…Is that—?”

“Yeah,” one of the nurses whispered. “That’s our second Abbot.”

He didn’t react. Not outwardly. Just snapped his gloves tighter and stepped in, voice calm but commanding.

“Alright. Let’s move. I need two large-bore IVs, type and cross, four units O-neg hanging yesterday, and someone page trauma surgery—now.”

A nurse slid a face shield over his head as he pulled the curtain closed behind him.

“Pressure dressing’s soaked through.”

“She’s crashing, Dr. Robby.”

Michael leaned in over your body, catching the faintest movement of your chest. He knew your voice, your laugh, the way you snapped off one-liners at Jack and him in the hall. And right now, none of that mattered. You were just another patient bleeding out on his table. And he was going to keep you alive.

“Hang another liter. Let’s get a FAST scan going—we need to find that bleed.”

A tech slid gel across your abdomen. The screen flared to life, the grainy black-and-white image revealing what they were dreading.

“She’s bleeding into her abdomen,” someone said.

“No kidding,” Robby muttered. Then louder: “Alright. We don’t have time. Prep her straight for the OR. I want her there five minutes ago.”

He pressed down on the wound with both hands, hard. Princess to his left winced.

“She should seee Jack,” she whispered.

“No,” he said firmly. “Jack needs her to still be breathing when he finds out.”

He looked down at you, your face pale and growing colder beneath his fingers.

“You hang on,” he said under his breath. “You do not die on me. He will never recover.”

You didn’t respond. Your eyes fluttered once, lips barely parted. A sound escaped, too soft to decipher as Mikey leaned closer. 

Not as a doctor now, but as a close friend. 

“What was that?”

Your mouth twitched. “Tell… Jack…”

But then your body jolted under his hands—heart monitor screaming into v-fib.

“Code!” someone shouted.

“Start compressions!” Robinavitch was already moving, calling for paddles. “One of you get Abbot!”

“But he’s still in Pink—”

“I don’t care if he’s in surgery or nott,” he snapped. “Tell him it’s his wife. Tell him she’s coding.”

Across the hospital floor, Jack looked up—something in his chest going cold before he even knew why.

The Pink Zone was chaos, and Red was a shit show. 

Jack had blood smeared to his elbows and the kind of tension in his jaw that only came from running full tilt on no sleep. His short, curls—streaked at the temples with silver—were plastered to his forehead with sweat. His hazel eyes, usually sharp and quick, were laser-focused on the wound in front of him.

“Clamp—now,” he barked, voice low and lethal.

The security guard on the table had been fine for the minute, eventually turning critical. Shrapnel to the chest. He’d already coded once in triage. Jack had cracked him open right there on the gurney, and there was no room in his world for anything else.

Until—

“Dr. Abbot!”

He didn’t look up. “Hold pressure!.”

“Jack!”

That voice. Too familiar.

He finally looked.

One of the new night shift  interns stood just inside the trauma bay doors, Jacob’s own scrubs stained and his expression wrecked. And he never looked wrecked.

Jack straightened, adrenaline still coursing, brow furrowed. “What?”

Jacob’s mouth opened—but nothing came out at first. He took a breath. Another. Then:

“She’s here. Your wife.”

The words didn’t land right at first. Jack blinked, frowning, like he hadn’t heard correctly.

“She what?”

“Gunshot wound to the abdomen. Came in the fourth or fifth wave from Pitt-Fest,” the young man said, voice tight. “They stabilized her. She was hypotensive on arrival. Tachy. Someone named Emma was with her—they were in the back of a civilian truck.”

The name Emma barely registered.

Jack’s pulse went sideways.

“She coded once—Robby sent her to the OR.”

“No,” Jack said, too fast, shaking his head. “No, she wasn’t even—she said she’d text me when—she wasn’t—”

The air felt thick. Too heavy. Too loud. His fingers curled into fists, shaking beneath his gloves.

“Dr. Abbot,” Someone said, stepping closer. “She’s still alive. They got her back. But you can’t leave right now. We need you here.”

Jack didn’t move.

“She asked for you,” Jacobs added quietly.

That broke something open.

Jack’s hazel eyes—usually unreadable—flashed wide. For half a second, pure panic. He turned, looking toward the hall that led to the elevators, toward OR.

But he couldn’t go. He knew it. The man on the table in front of him was dying.

And his wife… his wife was being cut open upstairs.

He squeezed his eyes shut once, breathing like it physically hurt. When he opened them, they were steely again. Grounded by sheer force of will.

“Tell Robinavitch to get me when she’s out,” Jack said. His voice was barely steady. “And tell him if she crashes again—he calls me. Immediately.”

“I will,” Jacob promised.

Jack didn’t answer. He just turned back to his patient like his spine was made of iron. Like his heart wasn’t bleeding under his ribs.

But his hands trembled—just once—before they found the scalpel again.

And he didn’t say another word about it, because what was there to say you could be gone before he even got to see you. 

Eventually the world returned in fragments.

A slow, stuttering beep. The soft rustle of hospital sheets. The sterile hum of fluorescent lighting. Everything hurt—but not sharply. Not like it had. Now it was dull and heavy, like your body was made of stone, barely yours.

You blinked against the overhead light. It took effort. Your limbs felt like they were filled with sand.

A shape moved beside you.

Jack.

He was hunched forward in the chair, elbows braced on his knees, hands clasped tight. His short, silvery curls were flattened on one side, sticking up in the back like he hadn’t moved in hours. His hazel eyes were fixed on the floor, red-rimmed, dark and distant.

Your heart monitor ticked just a little faster. He looked up immediately.

“Hey,” he breathed, already at your side.

You tried to smile, but your lips barely moved. “Hi.”

Jack let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob and reached for your hand. His touch was careful, reverent. “You scared the absolute hell out of me.”

“Me too,” you rasped.

He gave you a sip of water, helping steady the cup as you drank. When you pulled back, your throat still felt raw—but the words came anyway.

“Emma?”

Jack’s face changed.

The crack in his expression wasn’t obvious, but you’d seen it before—on the battlefiel, in different red zone code blues, in the quiet moments after a loss. He didn’t answer right away.

You already knew.

“…She didn’t make it,” he said softly. “They couldn’t even try. She was gone in the truck.”

Your breath hitched.

“She was getting married,” you whispered, tears already brimming. “She was twenty-eight, Jack...”

“I know.”

“She was going to try out for th-that promotion. She just bought her wedding dress last week—she wanted to show you, and—and she was finally gonna ask David to move in with—”

Jack didn’t try to stop your rambling grief. He just leaned in closer, resting his forehead against yours.

“I know,” he said again, voice thick. “I’m so sorry.”

You swallowed hard, your throat burning. “She died in my arms...”

His hand tightened around yours.

“I didn’t know it was you,” he murmured, guilt and grief bleeding into his voice. “I was a couple zones over. We were shoulder to shoulder with victims. I didn’t know until after they took you up to surge.”

You blinked fast. “Were you there when I came in?”

“Robby got you stable. Barely. Everyone just said it was bad. Said  one of ours went down.” His voice caught. 

“Jack.”

“I couldn’t go up,” he whispered. “They were still bringing bodies in. And you were already in surgery. I had to keep working.”

Your vision blurred again.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you’re the one that got shot.” His hazel eyes were fierce now, even through the exhaustion. “You did everything you could. You kept Emma safe as long as you could. And you lived. That’s all that matters right now.”

You didn’t feel like it should be enough. Not with her gone, and the fate of the rest of your friends unknown. But the way Jack looked at you—like the entire world had stopped spinning until your heart started beating again—it made the pain settle differently.

He reached up and brushed your hair back, his touch gentle. “I’ve got you now. You’re safe.”

Since the first shots rang out at Pitt-Fest, you let yourself feel the weight of everything that had happened. 

Your fingers twitched under his, slow and aching, but deliberate. Jack noticed immediately, shifting to cradle your hand in both of his, as if he could anchor you there by touch alone.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice shaky but sure. “Thank you for staying with me…”

Jack’s eyes closed, lashes trembling. His head bowed as his grip on your hand tightened, pulling it gently to his chest.

“I’d stay a thousand times,” he murmured. “I’d go through hell a thousand times if it meant getting you back.”

Your heart thudded painfully in your chest—because you believed him. There was no part of Jack Abbot that ever did anything halfway, least of all when it came to you.

“I thought I was going to die,” you whispered, barely able to get the words out. “In that truck. I-I knew Emma  was gone and—I couldn’t feel my legs. Everything hurt. I didn’t know if you’d even know…”

Jack leaned forward again, resting his forehead against your hands, breathing you in like he was trying to convince himself you were real. “I know now,” he said, voice rough. “And I’ve got you.”

You could feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek, the way his body trembled just slightly with the force of holding himself together.

“I kept thinking—‘he’s gonna be mad,’” you whispered. “Because I went without you. Because I didn’t duck fast enough. Because I let one of the girls get hit.”

“Stop,” he said, voice firm but thick with emotion. “You don’t need to carry that. Not even for a second.”

You nodded faintly, tears sliding into your hair. “She died, Jack. Emma died. And I couldn’t save her.”

He stayed quiet for a beat, then moved to press a kiss to your forehead, lingering there, like he could pour every unspoken word straight into your skin.

“I know,” he whispered. “And I’ll carry that with you. Every single day.” The monitors continued their slow, steady rhythm. Jack stayed at your bedside like he’d never leave it again.

Outside, the world kept spinning—grief, news headlines, recovery, chaos—but inside that quiet room, wrapped in his presence, you finally let yourself rest. Because you weren’t alone. Not anymore.

And you knew, in the deepest part of yourself, that Jack would keep holding on enough for the both of you—because that’s the type of man he was. 

mercury-glow 2025

[saatorus]

— freak like me ୨ৎ

based off of this post

wc — 2.8k

warnings — oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, genuinely just 2.8k words of filth bc i need satoru :3

Sometimes, you truly want to grab your husband by the shoulders and genuinely ask him what the hell is wrong with him.

In a purely cute, loving, wifey way, of course.

You had been lounging at home, listless but not tired, charged up but not in a productive way. The kind of restless where you start wiping already-clean counters just to burn energy. Or reorganizing your skincare drawer for the fourth time that week.

Your body felt hot under the skin, like something in you was coiled up and ready to snap. There was only one explanation for this kind of jittery, razor-sharp awareness running under your skin like a live wire. So, like any other normal person, you opened your period tracking app.

Yup. Ovulating.

Fantastic. That explained the horniness bordering on religious fervor. Everything in your body was screaming breed like it was written in your DNA. So, just like any other wife with the patience of a saint and the self-control of a demigod, you texted your husband Satoru at work.

You 12:47PM

hey u

quick q

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

answer is yes unless it’s illegal

You 12:48PM

r u busy or r u like pretend busy like usual

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

ur sounding like ur abt to ask me to pick up toilet paper and i hate that tone

what’s up

You 12:49PM

im ovulating

Husband (derogatory) 12:49PM

oh👀

ok. and?

You 12:49PM

so when u get home

ur not gonna get to say hi

or breathe

or take off ur shoes

i’m going to destroy you

like i actually might kill you with my pussy

Husband (derogatory) 12:50PM

😳

bold of u to assume i’d try to survive

You 12:50PM

bold of u to send me nothing spicy of u but be mean to me when u know i’m genuinely suffering and shit like omg

Husband (derogatory) 12:51PM

what do u want me to do??? send u a live feed of my cock at work???

do u want me to be on a list???

You 12:51PM

no but like

a lil thirst trap wouldn’t kill u

show me smth for the spank bank

Husband (derogatory) 12:52PM

u want a pic of my abs rn??

i got time

lemme hit my office for a sec

You 12:52PM

if u send me a pic right now i swear i’ll spontaneously combust

Husband (derogatory) 12:55PM

[1 image attached]

🥰

tell me i’m pretty

You 12:55PM

i hope u know this photo just signed ur death warrant

ur gonna be BURIED in me. like to the point where ur dick is like never getting out of me 

Husband (derogatory) 12:56PM

ok but like

worth it??

do i look hot

scale of 1 to rawdog me in the kitchen while the rice is still cooking

You 12:56PM

absolutely rawdog in the kitchen with zero regard for the rice

ur not even making it to the bedroom. my clit hard at dis 

Husband (derogatory) 12:57PM

god

i’m bricked up in front of principal yaga rn

i hope ur happy

You 12:57PM

good

suffer

consider it foreplay

You stared at the photo again. The audacity of this man to stand there with perfect abs, just barely flexed, pants sitting sinfully low on his hips like he knew the way your brain would short-circuit. The lighting in his office was stupidly flattering—somehow made his skin look so nice and delectable. Not to mention the veins going down to his cock?

You chewed on your lip, pacing the living room like a predator. There was simply no way you were surviving the next few hours. You even considered sending him a photo back—bait for bait, a little tit-for-tat—but decided against it. Let him suffer.

Let the anticipation kill him softly.

When he gets home? You’re not talking. You’re not greeting. You’re not doing anything except dragging him inside and absolutely sucking the soul out of the man you had ended up marrying.

–

It was exactly 6:02PM when you heard the door unlock.

Two minutes late. Not that you were keeping track or anything… except you definitely were, curled up on the couch in a barely-there pair of shorts and one of his old shirts with no bra underneath. Strategic slutty domesticity. A war tactic.

You didn’t even look up right away. Let the tension simmer. Let him walk in and realize what he’s just stepped into.

The door creaked open, followed by the soft jingle of his keys and the unmistakable shuffle of his slides hitting the entryway.

Then:

“I’m home—”

You were already standing in front of him before he could finish the sentence.

The look on his face was criminally satisfied. Like he knew he was walking into the lion’s den and brought himself as the offering. His blindfold was pooled around his neck– it was a habit for him to take it off at home. His white hair was a little tousled from the wind, and he had the audacity to be smiling.

“Hi, babe—”

You didn’t even let him finish his sentence. You fisted your hands in the front of his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss so hot it made your knees buckle. He groaned into your mouth, hands flying to your hips out of instinct.

“Jesus—” he panted against your lips, breath already shaky. “You weren’t joking.”

“I told you I was gonna ruin you,” you muttered, kissing down his jaw, “You think I just say things for fun?”

His laugh was breathless, cocky, but already crumbling. “You do, though.”

You reached between your bodies and palmed him through his pants. “Not today.”

Satoru hissed, bracing one hand against the wall. “Okay, wow. Hi. Hello. I see the demons are home.”

“You started it,” you said sweetly, unzipping his pants like you were opening a present. “Sending me that photo like I’m not clinically insane for you.”

“I was tryna be nice— shit—”

His sentence broke off into a groan as you sank to your knees right there in the hallway. He wasn’t even fully undressed, shirt still on, pants down just enough for you to get what you wanted. And what you wanted?

To suck his soul out like a Capri Sun.

You eagerly took him in your mouth, lips wrapping around him– absolutely no time for teasing– taking him as far as you could the moment he slipped into your mouth. You moaned at the taste of him, at the feeling of his prominent veins on your tongue, and the way that he just sat so hot and heavy in your mouth.

“Baby,” he rasped, one hand threading through your hair, the other gripping the wall so hard you swore it cracked a little. “Not— not even the bedroom?”

You hummed around him in response.

“Fuck—okay, okay—take everything. Take the whole paycheck.”

You didn’t let up—not even when his knees buckled, not when your nose repeatedly kept hitting the smattering of white hair above his base, not when his pink, throbbing tip kept hitting the back of your throat so good that your pussy felt like it was a puddle at this point, not when he was gasping out half-finished apologies to whatever god he believed in, not when he muttered something about filing for short-term disability because of "whatever the fuck this is."

He came so hard you were genuinely concerned for a second that his soul had actually left his body. Filled your throat with him, even. Like a capri sun. Man folded like an origami crane. Sagged against the wall with his shirt all rumpled, hair sticking to his forehead, and the most dazed, fucked-out look you’d ever seen on his stupidly pretty face.

You licked your lips and stood up slowly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like a villain in a K-drama. 

Satoru looked up at you like you were the Messiah and the apocalypse all in one.

“You’re insane,” he whispered, voice hoarse.

“You love it.”

“I do,” he breathed. “God, I really do. I’m in love with the devil.”

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him sweetly, gently, like you hadn’t just given him a religious experience with your mouth.

Then you whispered in his ear:

“Round two’s in the kitchen.”

He made a sound that was not human.

By the time he made it to the kitchen—pants back up but barely, shirt half-untucked like he just walked off a battlefield—he looked like he had one brain cell left, and it was begging for mercy.

You, however?

Unbothered. Glowing. A menace in tiny shorts and smug satisfaction.

You leaned against the counter, one leg crossed over the other, nursing a glass of water like you hadn’t just rearranged his internal organs. “I said round two in the kitchen,” you reminded him, sipping slowly. “You moving a little slow there, old man.”

He squinted at you, chest still rising and falling. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Technically, I warned you.”

“You warned me via text,” he muttered, walking over with the exaggerated drag of a man heading into war. “There’s a difference between texting me you’re gonna ruin me and actually attempting a physical exorcism on my soul through my dick.”

You grinned. “Still had enough energy to come find me, though.”

“That’s because my penis is a traitor and doesn’t believe in self-preservation.”

“Your penis is smart. Your penis is loyal. Your penis knows who feeds it.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You set the glass down with a click, reached for his collar, and pulled him in. “Bend me over the counter,” you whispered against his lips.

He choked.

Eyes wide. Pupils blown. Brain visibly buffering.

And then: obedience.

“I—yes. Okay. I mean—of course. Obviously.” He practically tossed your glass to the side and spun you around, hands already slipping under your shirt, finding your bare skin like he was made for it. His thumbs hooked underneath the waistband of your shorts, halting when he felt the smooth skin of your hip bones and not the waistband of your panties.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice wrecked. “No panties?”

“I was planning ahead,” you said, bending slightly and bracing your hands against the counter.

“God, I love you so much it actually hurts.” He kissed down the back of your neck, worshipful. “You’re unreal.” He slipped down your shorts, and then his already halfway down pants, aligning his tip with your soaking entrance.

Then he slid into you with a groan so filthy it echoed off the cabinets. You gasped, arching, clenching around him instinctively, and heard him let out a shaky laugh.

“This is a setup,” he whispered, biting your shoulder. “I feel like you’re doing this to steal my powers. Like I’m not gonna be able to use infinity after this.”

You couldn’t even form a reply—your mouth was open, moaning, hands scrabbling for purchase. He wasn’t going slow. Not anymore. Whatever restraint he had left burned off the moment he was inside you. It was fast, deep, messy. The kind of fucking that blurred your vision and made your toes curl.

Satoru’s fingers dug into your hips as he pounded into you, saying all kinds of nonsense against your skin:

“Been thinking about you all goddamn day—” “—knew I was in trouble when you said ovulating—” “—you were serious about the soul thing, huh? gonna baptize me in pussy—”

You half-laughed, half-cried out as he hit a spot that made your legs shake.

He reached around to rub tight, dirty circles on your clit, whispering, “C’mon, baby, let go for me, lemme feel it, wanna feel you lose your mind—fuck, please—”

And you did—with a broken moan and a full-body tremble that had your knees buckling, your body locking up so tight around him that he swore out loud, dropped his forehead to your shoulder, and followed you over the edge with a deep, shaky groan that sounded like it came from the depths.

The kitchen went quiet except for your breathing. The rice cooker beeped once, like it had seen things.

You both just stood there, still connected, sweaty, wrecked, in the soft afterglow of holy sin.

“…do we have any electrolytes?” he asked weakly.

You giggled. “Top shelf. Pedialyte in the purple bottle.”

“You’re a menace,” he said, pulling out slowly with a wince. “I’m not even mad. I’m just scared.”

You turned to face him, cupping his face and giving him the sweetest kiss imaginable. “You’ll live.”

He blinked. “Will I? Are you sure? Like… can I put you on my life insurance as both the cause and beneficiary of death?” Satoru was still recovering—barely holding himself up against the counter, forehead pressed to the cool surface, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon while holding his breath.

You, on the other hand, were just sitting on the counter next to him sipping water like a perfectly reasonable, not at all deranged wife. Ignore the fact that his cum was steadily drying on your thighs after dripping out once he pulled out.

“So,” you said casually, like you weren’t actively naked in your own kitchen. “You think the rice is done?”

“Baby,” he said, voice hoarse, muffled, like he didn’t trust himself to lift his head. “Please. I don’t even remember my own name.”

You leaned over and patted his ass. “That’s okay. You don’t need a name. You just need to sit up on that counter for me.”

He groaned. “I need food. I need air. I need—what did I even do to deserve this?”

“You sent me a thirst trap.”

“You literally asked me for it,” he whined, straightening up slowly, eyes glassy.

You pushed off the counter—with a slight wobble—and before he could get another sarcastic word out, you moved away from from the counter in the middle of the kitchen, boosting yourself up onto the counter right next to the stove, legs spread, voice sugar-sweet.

“C’mere.”

He blinked. “Oh my god. Are you gonna ride me next to the soy sauce?”

“Would you prefer the spice cabinet?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Spice cabinet.”

—

Somehow, somehow, you ended up on the higher shelf. Not the safe little cozy edge of the island—no. You were straddling him on the counter in the corner by the window, legs draped around his thighs, knee bumping the pepper grinder, and he looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown about how hot it was.

Satoru kissed you like a man possessed—hands on your thighs, holding you open for him, still too breathless from the last round to be cocky but desperate enough not to care.

“I don’t have anything left,” he whispered into your mouth. “You’ve drained me. I’m just a shell of a man now.”

“Then let me fill you back up,” you said, not even remotely sorry.

“Do you even hear yourself—holy shit—”

You’d sunk down onto him again, slow and deep, pulling a moan out of him so loud it had no business being that pretty. His head dropped to your shoulder as you started riding him, deliberately slow this time, grinding in small, agonizing circles.

“I’m gonna pass out,” he whispered. “You’re gonna have to call Shoko and be like, ‘Hi, I murdered my husband with pussy and now he’s trapped in the rice cooker, can you help me scrape him out?’”

You leaned in close, teeth grazing his ear.  “She’d say ‘finally.’”

His hands flew to your hips, grip bruising, and he started moving with you, fucking up into you like he’d found his second wind in the middle of his own funeral.

The countertop creaked under you. The spice jars rattled. A cinnamon container fell off the shelf at one point and he caught it one-handed without breaking rhythm, then threw it over his shoulder like an anime protagonist mid-battle.

“Why is this the best sex of my life—” he gasped, eyes wild.

“Because I’m ovulating and mad,” you panted, nails digging into his back. “Because you purposely sent me your cum-worthy abs.”

“So my ballsack is being drained because of some muscles on my abdomen?—”

“You don’t get it—”

And then you came together in the middle of the kitchen like two idiots in heat, clinging to each other, half-screaming into each other’s skin like the world was ending. Which, in a way, it was. Your knees were shaking. His hands wouldn’t stop twitching. 

The counter was definitely never going to recover.

And when it was over, when the both of you were breathless and sweaty and completely unhinged, he looked at you—kiss-bitten, flushed, utterly destroyed—and whispered:

“I don’t think I can eat rice ever again.”

being a virgin and ovulating is not for the weak 🙁🙁🙁

[chrrific]

ANGEL, BABY ♡ things down bad bf ! enha do 。

𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗨𝗥─── ‘𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂’𝗆 𝖺𝖿𝗋𝖺𝗂𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋.

( 𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐀𝐍𝐈 ) ﹙엔하이픈﹚ bf ! enhypen x f ! r 739wc fluff headcannon 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑜 physical touch est. relationship forehead kisses

✉️ so .. hai >< update for two days straight, that’s such a big thing TT writers block finally not kicking my ahh so expect a lot more heheh :3

reblogs✿feedbacks for a flower ( >//< )

LEE HEESEUNG

hand in hand, heeseung and you walked down the sidewalk, the setting hues of the sun casting a glow on your faces. the silence was sweet, comfortable, filled with unspoken sentences that you already knew the words to without a question. 

his hand then slipped out of your grasp, and you had no time to be confused before he stopped walking to brush his fingers against your cheek oh, so delicately. he gave you a barely-there smile, just enough to show the love in his eyes. “there was something there,” he murmured, sliding his hand back into yours. 

PARK JONGSEONG

“you did not,” jay’s tone was filled with surprised accusation, his jaw dropping open. in his hands was a wrapped up guitar, the one he’d been saving up fro buy for such a long time—only to find it on his side of your bed earlier. 

a soft giggle escaped your lips as you stood up from the couch, smile gracing them. “i did,” you murmured, leaning closer to you your still in-shock boyfriend. “i’d do anything if it was for you.” jay felt his gaze soften at your words, lips pressing a gentle, feather-light kiss to your forehead. “i love you, so much.” 

SIM JAEYUN

the end credits of the movie rolled onto the tv screen, casting a faint light to cast over your sleeping face and closed eyes. you had fallen asleep somewhere into the movie—jake just couldn’t bring himself to wake you up.

his hands ached to touch you, to feel the soft expanse of the hair that lay in billows around your face, as you lay safe against his chest. so, that is what he did. his fingers brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down the soft strands with a touch one could only describe as reverent, his eyes holding all the affection and love for you in the world.

PARK SUNGHOON

sunghoon never took it upon himself to profess his love with a marching band and fireworks display, but he found the biggest worth worth in the smaller things: making you a snack he knows you like, holding the door open for you before he goes in himself, giving you his coat when you’re cold, even though he knows he might get sick because of it. 

his most favourite thing to do though, is sing you to sleep. the soft hum of the ceiling fan, paired with his quiet voice—it makes you feel calm, like you’re finally at home. he feels at peace doing it, watching how sleep takes over your body and all the stress he knows you carry dissipates, if only just for the night.

KIM SUNOO

sunoo, as much as he loves talking your ear off with all the new drama, loves hearing you ramble just a bit more. the way you scrunch your nose, hands changing from position to position just to prove your point, the way your lips move as you talk—oh, your lips. 

he’s so torn between paying attention to your words and staring at their soft, pink plumpness, but ends up choosing to flick his gaze down towards them every few seconds, which, after a few minutes, makes you ask him whether he’s even listening with a huff. 

YANG JUNGWON

whenever you’re moving through a crowded place, or just anywhere in general, jungwon made it a point to always have an arm slung around your waist. even lazing at home, he couldn’t help but wrap an arms around your middle and pull you close.

“c’mere, pretty,” jungwon smirked slightly, and you grinned back, letting out a soft hum of content as you leaned into his touch, his thumb rubbing circles on your hip soothing you to in ways you didn’t know it could. 

NISHIMURA RIKI

a yelp left your throat as you were—literally—swept off your feet by niki, his arms holding you secure as he hung you over his shoulder to bring you back to bed. “niki!” you exclaimed, weakly flailing your legs in his strong hold, although you knew that wouldn’t deter him from dragging you back inside to cuddle.

“what the hell was that for?” your pout was practically audible as he gently placed you on the mattress, and his next words suspiciously casual. “just wanted you to come back to bed,” 

a beat passed. a raised eyebrow. a face inching closer to his, teasing smirk tugging at your lips, just enough to make him crack. “fine, i missed you..” he murmured, refusing to meet your gaze as he looked away, though you could still spot the visible flush decorating his cheeks and ears. “you’re just so warm, and small and easy to hold, okay?”

[okwonyo]

4EVER # ♩ 𝖽𝗂𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀.

　　　　　🍶　　sweet gestures

fem ! rea ✶ fluff domestic ꒰𓏼 ◞ ◟ 𓏼 ྀི kissing skinship

REBLOG FOR A KISS !

heeseung keeps a picture of you in his wallet. he doesn’t tell you about it— he keeps it to himself. it’s his little secret, which he cherishes quite deadly. he likes to tell himself, as he admires your beauty in motion, “she doesn’t know that i love her so much that i have a picture of her on me all the time.” you are taken aback when you find out, randomly when you snoop in his wallet to find his credit card.

jay takes you on unplanned dates. it happens more often than not. it always surprises you, however. “princess,” he starts through the phone. “i’ll be there in thirty minutes, i’m taking you out.” it always makes your heart buzz with stress due to the fact that you love to get dolled up, but it’s nothing next to the enthusiasm it makes you feel. he always takes you the the cutest, most prettiest place. he makes sure that every second is worth your smile.

jake writes you cute notes and hide them in random places in the apartment. he does this whenever he is on tour or when he knows it’s going to be a long day away from you. a smile always creeps on your face when you find the sweet piece of paper in your makeup bag in the morning. “you always are so beautiful, my love,” he wrote in a soft and quick handwriting. how can you not be clingy when he comes back to your side?

sunghoon gives you gifts, without warning. his favorite way to do it is coming back home in a hurry, cupping your face before you can greet him properly or notice the little bag in his hands. he makes you both walk to the living room then corners you between the couch and himself. he waits until you are both out of breath to give what he bought to you, nonchalantly putting it on your thighs before diving back in to continue the makeout session. you have to push him off of you to discover what it is.

sunoo buys you flowers every other day. he comes to pick you up from work a lot, and always has a bouquet of flowers in his hands, with a sweet card attached to it. this habit his a remaining memory of the early days of your relationship— when he used to bring you flowers at each date. now, he sends them for no particular reason. not to celebrate anything if it’s not his love for you; he sends them to your work, comes back home with arms full of it.

jungwon doesn’t know how to cook, but he learns how to cook your favorite dish to make you happy. he goes out of his way to ask your family and friends about it. he spends days trying to find the perfect ingredients, the ones who will make your heart burn with joy. it takes a lot of mess in the kitchen and hours of almost breaking down for you to come back home with dinner set on the table; “i don’t know if it has good as you usually like it, but i tried.”

riki updates you about his day through long voice messages. often, his days start way more early than yours. when you get out of slumber, he is already far gone and in the middle of work. there is a fit of google that erupts out of your mouth as soon as you hear your boyfriend’s deep voice through the phone, telling you what he is eating for breakfast before practice. his voice messages are always detailed and always comes in packs.

taglist. ( open )

i hope everyone is doing alright <3 and that everyone enjoyed ^^

[urcoolgf]

https://www.tumblr.com/urcoolgf/778787731941801984/getting-high-w-bsfrafe-blurb-semi-sexual

I have a request plssss!!! This is just basically making it longer but Either them having a funny high convo or them making out……. But anything is fine

of course!! we can sprinkle in a little bit of both, yeah? ;)

JODIE

pairing. bsf¡rafe && reader

content. weed/smoking. fluff. makeout. semi-sexual content(?).

song rec: ‘jodie’ by SZA

“i’m boooredddd,” you dragged out dramatically. your belly was against rafe’s bed, head propped up by your palms, watching some dumb show on tv. his head rested in the dip of your back while he watched a basketball game on his phone.

“i have weeeed,” he dragged it out in a tempting tone, but his attention was still engrossed in the game.

“rafe– it’s 3pm!,” you scolded (as if you weren’t going to say yes, and get high anyway).

“so? stop acting like you aren’t gonna say yes,” he knew you too well…

—

and that’s how you ended up here—high as fuck at 3:30 in the afternoon, laughing your ass off at some story rafe was telling you.

“wait wait– so, you literally sang in front of everyone?!,”you sat up, eyes wide like you didn’t believe what you were hearing.

“the whole soccer team… while running up and down the bleachers, yes,” he was dead serious, but he couldn’t help but laugh at himself, and the situation.

“and this was your way of… apologizing? what did you even do?,” your laughter was uncontainable. you could barely get a full sentence out. you ended up flopping down onto his carpet, playing with strands of your hair while his back was leaned against the foot of his bed. the image of rafe trying to scale the bleachers, avoid the teacher, and sing had you in tears. you were clutching your stomach just to stabilize yourself– of course, if you weren’t high off your ass right now this wouldn’t be nearly as funny—but arguably, that’s what made the story better.

“it doesn’t matter alright, i was in high school! dark times, or whatever. the girl wasn’t even worth it—cheated on me with my ‘best friend’ not even a week after… no shit,” trauma dumping had never been so funny. you didn’t even know why you were laughing anymore, but rafe was too so you didn’t stop yourself.

“shit… i’m– i’m sorry,” you couldn’t even control it anymore, your words broken by your giggles. you rolled on your side to look at rafe as he came down from his fit of laughter. your eyes connected instantly, and suddenly nothing was funny.

“‘s whatever…,” he trailed off, still staring at you, eyes roaming over your body—it was evident you didn’t have a bra on, your sweats sat low on your hips, and the tiny tank top barely covered you, your hair sprawled out on his floor. when his eyes redirected back to your face, a small smirk tugged at your lips. a smirk that made his breathing stutter just a little.

“what is it?,” you asked softly, a short giggle slipped past your plump lips. totally clueless, like you didn’t know what moments like these did to him. he watched the way your chest rose and fell with your light breaths, the way the necklace he had gotten for your birthday two years ago—that he never saw you without—rested against your tanned skin.

you didn’t wait for him to answer, you had seen that look before, “you wanna makeout?,” you spit out before he could even gather his thoughts. it was normal for you two to end up on each other somehow whenever you got high, but something about right now felt different. rafe couldn’t tell if it was all in his head, or if you felt it, too.

“fuck it, c’mere,” he motioned for you to straddle him, and you did without question—like you said—it wasn’t unnatural. his hands quickly found a possessive hold on your hips, squeezing the flesh like it belonged to him.

you quickly leaned in, connecting your lips to his like you’d done many times before. it didn’t mean anything—just a way to pass time, make out with someone without consequences. not for rafe. every time you got into it too much and started moving in his lap, he would physically stiffen in more ways than one.

he couldn’t help it. he had a beautiful girl sat in his lap, kissing him like it was her second nature. you were never awkward with him, and that only turned him on more. he disconnected his lips from yours, moving down your neck, nipping at spots here and there. he was well adjusted to your sensitive spots by this point, attacking them like he was on a mission. the way you moved above him, small whimpers leaving your lips like you physically couldn’t help it… yeah, he was so gone for you.

the way you’d kiss him until your lips were swollen, and that perfect shade of pinkish red… he could faint. his hands would move under your tiny shirt, eventually squeezing your tits just to see if you’d let him go that far—you always would—and he took full advantage of that.

"so fuckin’ pretty,” he mumbled against your lips. his hooded, desperate eyes looking into yours like you were the only thing that existed in his mind—

and maybe you were.

an: this is more like a blurb than a one shot. i lowkey hate this—it’s rushed, && it’s kinda short sorryyyy

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© 𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐋𝐆𝐅. est. 2025

TAGS .ᐟ @yktayy9669 @drewsswifeyy @drewrry @frankoceanluvr11 @dearestmillls @icaqttt @lynoriax @hpboysslut2707 @stoned-writer @angvl3tears @beabafreakbee @ltristessedureratoujours @totalswag @vanessa-rafesgirl @rafegetinmybed @faiyaz555

[vviolynn]

…I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. Phenomenal. Girl wait. Just wait. Imma tell you something that might just be the biggest compliment you’ve ever heard. Thing is… I always saw Jay as more of a guy I related to? Like his personality seemed so similar to mine and stuff, his sense of humor, his behaviors all of that. I was never really attracted to him all that much and saw him more as someone to “kin” yk? Like a brother? If I had to pick any kpop idol to be my brother it’d be Jay, right?

BUT THEN I READ THIS MASTERPIECE AND OH MY DEAR. GIRL YOU CHANGED MY MIND. I can’t see him the same anymore. I mean, yes I still see him as someone I relate to and a kin right? But I can’t unsee his attractiveness anymore. Oh my dear. Like— genuinely can’t comprehend how I didn’t find him all that attractive before? Jay went from being at the bottom of my Enhypen attraction list to #3 by the time I was done with this fic 😔✋🏻 (Jungwon being #1 and Heeseung being #2)

This was genuinely so beautifully written Patty. I’m just so flabbergasted. You wrote Jay in the most wonderful and accurate way. I could envision the scenes so well and went through such an emotional rollercoaster while reading a couple of parts of it every night. Taking my time reading it was so worth it. I love how you expressed his genuine love for her and it’s just so beautiful. (OH MY GOSH SECRET SECRET IS SO AMAZING. I LOVE THAT SONG. THAT’S. SO. BEAUTIFUL.) Han literally being me with your fics 🙂‍↕️🫶

OH AND ON THE TOPIC OF HAN. WHYYYYYYY?!?!? I mean you apologized for making him a brat at the end of the fic so i won’t get too mad but when i found out that HE was the “toxic friend” in the warnings? i was so saddd i love han sm he’s so baby 😞😞❤️ i’m a new kpop stan so i already hardly know any of the people you mention in your fics as side characters or siblings of y/n so i was expecting it to be another kpop idol i wasn’t very familiar with BUT THEN IT WAS HAN AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOOO but it’s okay guys it all turned out okay in the end i hope 😭❤️

either way, i still believe this was genuinely so beautifully written. i fell in love with jay along with y/n so it really felt like i was her in this fic, smiling and giggling and kicking my feet, everything. your fics are so BEAUTIFUL UGH I CANT THINK OF A BETTER WORD TO DESCRIBE THEM. i loved how the mix of tension between them and love between them was genuinely there and the time period where they were still figuring out what they were to each other might’ve been my favorite cause his true intentions towards her really came out there ugh 💞💞

okay. time for jake’s fic. i’m a little nervous about that one though cause i recall her being mentioned in sunghoon’s one about her being off somewhere getting high? 😭😭 that’s the only thing i’m slightly skeptical about… but either way i’m going in with high expectations!! this one has two completed parts and i’m excited to read them both. i know the concept is fake dating and UGHHH IT SOUNDS SO OSNSOAKDODB (you can practically hear my squeals from there i bet)

ANYWAYS ILY PATTY SENDING SO MUCH LOVE IMMA GET ONTO JAKE’S FIC NOWWW <3333

ICED AMERIANO SEASON

⭑.ᐟ Strangers to lovers - Park Jongseong A simple iced americano is about to ruin Jay’s entire season. Falling for the cute barista at his favorite café means free coffee, but it also comes with unexpected complications. Between her overprotective best friend stirring up drama and the internet’s relentless spotlight on his personal life, Jay quickly learns that some risks are worth taking—even if it means skating into uncharted territory. He regrets nothing.

ᝰ genre. College sports , angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn, fluff, suggestive.ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ warnings. Swearing, a LOT of partying (somehow they always meet at parties, dunno what happened there), some intense making out and loosing tshirts, toxic friendships, toxic fanbases, lots of drinking, profanity, suggestive language .ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ word count. 39.k .ᐟ₊ ⊹ (I am so sorry)

series masterlist ⭑.ᐟ

⟡ ┆ Instagram stories ⁀➴༯ Y/Ns version, Jays version

Jay pushed the glass door of the small campus cafe open. The familiar jingle of the bell above the door almost drowning in the chatter of the many students crammed into the small cafe. As he moved through the bustling cafe, the worn wooden floors creaked beneath his boots. 

He spotted you behind the counter before you noticed him. You were bustling around, balancing a tray of mugs with one hand while sliding a plate of pastries across the counter with the other. Your hair was pinned back, loose strands framing your face, and you were wearing the café’s signature deep red apron over a flowy dress. 

“Hey, Jay,” you called out, catching sight of him. His heart had no business to react the way it did. A greeting and a smile was not enough to get a 1,8 meter, fit hockey player's heart rate to spike. Your grin widened as you set the tray down and made your way to the counter. “Back so soon? Let me guess, iced Americano, two shots of espresso?”

Jay leaned against the counter, smiling back at you. “You know me too well.”

“It’s almost like you’re here every other day or something,” you teased, pulling a cup from the stack. Jay chuckled, watching as you moved behind the counter. Your hands worked with practiced ease, and the warm glow from the afternoon sun streaming through the windows seemed to make you glow. He caught himself staring and quickly glanced down at the counter, pretending to examine the worn wood beneath his fingers. Great. Counters. Counters are interesting. Is this oak? Walnut?

“So… how is your back? You guys got roughed up pretty bad last night.”, you asked while working on his coffee.

His head shot up in surprise. “You watched the game?”

“Not live,” you admitted, turning back around to set the cups on the counter. “But it was all over my feed. You holding up okay?”

Jay blinked, a little stunned that you’d not only heard about the game but had actually paid attention to it. His lips tugged into a small, boyish grin as warmth spread in his chest.  “Barely. The other team decided my ribs were a fair target.”

You winced sympathetically. “Yikes. And you still made it all the way here?”

“What can I say? The coffee’s worth it.” His tone was light as he shrugged and winced after.

“Well, if the coffee doesn’t help, you can always take a nap on the green sofa,” you teased, nodding toward the corner. “It’s my preferred one.”

“Tempting,” Jay said, straightening up. “But I think I’ll save my naps for after I pretended to be a academic weapon in the library.“

“What are you studying today?”, you slid his drink across the counter, leaning in slightly as you rested your elbows on the worn wood. Maybe he should get his heart checked out. 

“International finance.”, he groaned and fished for his wallet in his pocket.

“Oh. Doesn’t sound like fun.”, you grabbed a crookie from the display case and placed it in a small bag, sliding it toward him, after he finished paying. “Consider it my contribution to your recovery.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said softly, his tone warmer now as he reached for the bag.

“Anytime, Jay,” you said softly, your smile lingering as he picked up his coffee and crookie.

You hadn’t intended to stay long at the swim team’s party. Really, you hadn’t. But somewhere between the shots Lia handed you and Felix’s insistence that you “let loose for once,” the night had gotten away from you.

You were halfway through your third Sex on the Beach of the evening, the warm buzz of alcohol already humming heavily in your veins, as you pushed your way through the crowd. Han, Jeongin, and Ryujin trailing behind you as you tried to escape the crush of bodies and rejoin the rest of your friends playing beer pong in the garden.

You were laughing at something Jeongin said, only half-listening, when someone bumped into you. Your drink swayed, spilling a few drops over the rim, and you barely caught yourself from spilling it completely. 

“Hey, watch it!” you said, turning around, ready to throw a playful glare at whoever had just so rudely bumped into you.

“Oh shit. I am sorry.” The culprit turned around, grinning sheepishly. Before you could respond, you heard Jeongin’s voice from behind you.

“Heeseung? Is that you?”

You turned to see him grinning Heeseung, his face lighting up.

"Jeongin!" Heeseung said. "Man, long time no see!” Heeseung clapped Jeongin on the shoulder, pulling him into a quick manly half-hug.

“We were about to step outside for a second. Care to join?”

“Sure. My friends are outside as well. Or well, they were the last time I saw them?”, Heeseung nodded and followed your little group as you fought your way to the garden of the frat house, escaping Kesha and her choir of drunk students. 

The cold night air hit your cheeks as you stepped outside, the noise of the party muffled slightly by the walls of the house. The garden was lit by fairy lights and a few fake torches that flickered against the dark of the night. You were following close behind Jeongin, holding his shoulder and your drink in an iron grip, determined not to trip or spill any of your precious Sex on the Beach. Han was walking right beside you, his hand laying on the small of your back.

You arrived at the table near the end of the garden fence that separated the house from the small woods that surrounded the whole campus. Chan and Minho were playing an intense beer pong match against Jake and Jay.

“I’m freezing,” you whined, pulling your arms tighter around yourself and leaning a little more into Han. Whoever thought it was a good idea to place the beer pong table outside should definitely never get to voice their thoughts out loud ever again. Not only was it cold and icy out here but the woods were scary as fuck. 

He chuckled, adjusting his position so you were tucked closer against his side and wrapped his padded jacket over the two of you.

“Should’ve brought a jacket,” he teased, his breath warm against the top of your head.

You rolled your eyes, but you didn’t defend yourself. Your dress wasn’t helping your case either. You knew you would be spending most of your time outside watching your friends play beer pong so you did bring a jacket, but it was stored safely somewhere inside. You thought you could rely on the copious amounts of alcohol to keep you warm. Apparently you were just as bad in thinking as the dude that put the tables here. 

“Oh, is the little baby cold?” Minho cooed, his tone exaggerated.

“Shut up,” you grumbled. “Go back to losing beer pong.”

He gasped dramatically. “Excuse you, Y/N. I’ll have you know—”

His protest was cut off by loud cheers from the other team. The two players were both jumping around the table, celebrating a successful shot, while their friends were all high-fiving in excitement. 

Them celebrating gave you an opportunity to, hopefully not too obviously, check out one particular player. Jay was standing just behind the table, laughing along with his friend. He was wearing a black button-up shirt and a padded leather jacket. The shirt was unbuttoned at the top. His hair had that messy, tousled look that somehow worked way better than if he’d tried to make it perfect. He looked hot. And totally out of your league.

You caught his eyes for a split second, and your heart skipped a beat. Great. Now he knows you were staring. This is fine. Totally fine. Maybe if you don’t blink for the next ten seconds, you’ll look like you’re in deep drunk thought instead of checking him out like a creep. But his lips curved into a smile, and he waved at you. Your arm was still wrapped around Han’s side, but you moved it enough to greet Jay properly.

Han’s body stiffened slightly, and his gaze followed the direction of your wave, his brows furrowing when he noticed where your attention was. He cleared his throat, then asked, his voice low, “Who are you waving at?”.

You glanced up at him, a little confused by the sharpness in his tone. “Jay,” you answered nonchalantly. Han knew all about your little crush on Jay, he had to listen to your rambling every time you saw him in the cafe. Which was quite often.

You felt Han’s hand shift slightly on your back. He reached up and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His gaze flicked back to Jay, still laughing with his friends.“Just- be careful, Y/N. Hockey players”, he paused for a second, contemplating his words, “they’re not exactly known for being the settle-down type.”

You rolled your eyes: “Han you know just as well as me that I would never make a move. He is so out of my league, I try to not get disappointed by men more than I already am.”, you said with a dismissive shrug.

Han’s fingers tightened for a second on your shoulder. “Just... be careful. I’m just looking out for you, okay?”

You smiled up at him. “I know, I know. I appreciate it. You are worse than Yudai sometimes,” you teased, nudging him playfully with your elbow.

Han’s expression softened slightly at your words. He looked back at Jay, then back to you. Just as he opened his mouth to say something else, your phone buzzed in your purse.

You fumbled for it, managing to pull it out and glance at the screen. “It’s Chaeryoung,” you muttered, swiping your thumb across the screen to answer. “Hello?”

“Y/N!” Chaeryoung’s voice came through, strained and frantic. “You need to come inside. Lia is throwing up in the bathroom. She locked the door and doesn’t want to let any of us inside!”

You blinked, suddenly alert and sober. Or well as sober as you could be. “Shit, in which bathroom are you?”

“The upstairs one!”

You turned to Han, your face apologetic. “I’ve gotta go help Chae. Lia is throwing up and locked the door,” you said.

Han looked at you with concern, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Do you need help?”

Before you could answer, Seungmin, Lia’s boyfriend, jumped in, his voice easy and reassuring. “I’ll go with her,” he said quickly, offering you a small smile. “We’ll get her sorted out.”

You gave Seungmin a quick nod. “Thanks, Seungmin. I appreciate it.” 

You almost stumbled but caught yourself, your fingers gripping the edge of Han’s sleeve to steady yourself when you broke away from him and the warmth of his jacket. His fingers instantly curled around your wrist. His grip and his brow furrowed even deeper as he watched you, his eyes flicking between you and the door.

His voice was quieter now, almost tender, and his fingers brushed against the small of your back as if he was ready to catch you at any moment. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? You've had a lot to drink…”

“I’m a big girl, Han.” You nodded, though it felt like the nod itself might make you lose your balance. “And Seungmin is helping. He’s basically sober.”

Han’s expression shifted from concern to reluctant acceptance. He didn’t move to stop you, but his eyes lingered on you, his worry still evident. “Alright,” he said quietly. “Just... be careful, okay?”

You gave him a reassuring smile and glanced at Seungmin, who gave you an encouraging nod.

You were squeezing your way through the kitchen after you successfully got Chaeryoung to open up the door. Your friends decided to end the night like that and went home, leaving you alone to get yourself another drink before returning to the beer pong tables. The counters were lined with drinks, people laughing loudly, leaning against walls and talking over one another. 

Just as you were about to sidestep a group of people near the fridge, someone bumped into you from behind. The sudden force sent you stumbling forward, your arms flailing slightly as you reached out instinctively to steady yourself.

"Whoa!" a voice called out just as strong hands gripped your arms, keeping you from falling. You froze for a moment, heat rising to your cheeks. “Easy there.”, the voice added, smooth and amused. Jay. Oh god.

“Oh my god i am so sorry.”, you blurted, trying to cover up the rush of heat in your chest. You laughed awkwardly, hoping it didn’t come out too flustered.

Jay’s smile spread, eyes sparkling with amusement as his grip remained light but firm. “No problem at all,” he said. “Funny running into you here. I thought I’d have to wait until Thursday to see you again.”

You let out a small laugh, steadying yourself on the edge of the counter. “Actually you could have seen me on Monday as well. Jaemin and I switched our shifts next week.”

Jay laughed and then turned his attention back to the drink he was mixing before you almost face planted into him. “What a bummer. If I’d known that, I could’ve enjoyed one of your ice americanos instead of the cafeteria ones.”

“Maybe next time,” you teased, leaning against the counter as you watched him work. You were here to get yourself another drink, but the thought of fighting your way through the crowd of people to find a new bottle of vodka felt more exhausting than it was worth.  

He finished mixing his drink and set it down in front of you. "I was gonna make something for myself, but I figured you'd appreciate something a little better than the usual party fare, dear barista." he said, smiling.

You raised an eyebrow, taking the glass from him.

“Are you offering me a drink just so I’ll stick around?” you asked, taking a sip of whatever he just mixed. The drink was good, strong but it tasted well.

Jay’s smirk deepened. "Well, you could put it like that. But I figured you'd appreciate a drink that's a little less basic," he said, leaning against the counter, his gaze never leaving yours.

You leaned back slightly, studying him for a moment. Close up he looked even hotter. You could see the Prada chain that was dangling around his neck, reflecting the colorful lights of the led lamps in the kitchen. His black hair fell slightly over his forehead, and you had to fight the urge to reach out and brush it back.

“I sure like less basic.” you said, your voice a little softer than before.

Jay turned back to the counter, grabbing another plastic cup. “So, how long have you and - what’s his name? Han? been together?” 

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Han? Oh, no, no, no. He’s not my boyfriend,” you said, shaking your head, a chuckle escaping your lips. “He’s like… a brother to me. We’ve known each other since high school. I moved to Korea with my family, and we just clicked from there. Just really close friends.”

Jay looked at you again and raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Really?” He tilted his head, studying. “I could’ve sworn you two were a thing. The way you were standing together looked very couple like earlier.”

You laughed slightly. "Yeah, we’re close, but definitely not like that. I was too lazy to get my jacket and I was freezing. I basically just used him as a portable human heater,” you said, a smile tugging at your lips.

Jay’s grin widened and he set down the bottle he just reached for. “So,” he said, his voice smooth and a little slower than usual, “if you’re not with him, that leaves me wondering, if someone wanted to get to know you better, what should be his first move?” 

You tilted your head, amused by the sudden turn in the conversation. 

“Well, that’s a loaded question,” you said, teasing him. “I don’t know, I guess you’d have to find out.”

Holy shit. This can’t be true. What the hell. Is he flirting? 

Jay’s smile deepened, and he took a small step forward, leaning in just a little closer. His voice dropped, low and confident. “I think I could handle that.”

You laughed softly, the heat in your chest spreading as you glanced away for a moment, suddenly very aware of how close Jay was. You could smell his perfume. It smelled nice. He smelled nice. You swore your brain was running on autopilot.

“We’ll see about that,” you said, as you locked eyes with him. 

Jay chuckled and tilted his head to the side and licked his lips. “Guess we’ll find out.”

“Don’t try to seduce me just because you want free pastries. You got that because I felt bad for you.”, you teased, taking another sip of your drink not breaking eye contact. 

Jay’s smirk widened, he leaned even closer, resting one arm casually on the counter, cornering you from one side. “You caught me,” he said playfully. “Free crookie is all I’m after. You’ve exposed my master plan.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Damn. You didn’t even try to deny it. At least you’re honest.”

“Always,” he replied, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “Especially if I am talking to a girl as pretty as you.”

“Smooth,” you said, smirking, trying to ignore how your heart did a little flip. Why was he flirting with you? What was happening? Mayday mayday! “Is that how you charm all the girls?”

Jay chuckled, running a hand through his jet black hair. It looked so soft. “Nope. Usually, I just smile and hope for the best.” He made a small pause.

You raised an eyebrow. “What do you think charms me? Your smile? I don’t even have to do anything to do that.” Except handing him his daily dose of caffeine. 

“Well definitely more than just a charming smile. Maybe a good drink and a nice conversation?” Jay grinned, leaning back just slightly, but his eyes never left yours. 

You laughed again, shaking your head but not bothering to hide your smile this time. “Until now that seems to have worked pretty well, hasn’t it?”

He placed a hand over his chest in mock relief. “Thank god. I was worried I’d have to pull out my backup plan.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his theatrics. “Oh yeah? And what’s the backup plan?”

Jay leaned in again, his voice dropping low. “Guess you’ll have to stick around and find out.”

Your eyes locked, and for a split second, but before either of you could say anything more Han’s voice cut through the tension. “Y/N.”

You turned around quickly, blinking a little at the sight of him standing behind you. A frown was pulling at his lips as his eyes flicked between you and Jay. 

"Han, hey," you said, trying to sound casual and collected, not breathless and freaked out. 

Jay smiled at Han but didn’t say anything. He took a step back. Han opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Minho appeared at his side. 

"Y/N!" he called out, his tone cheerful. "What are you still doing here? I thought you wanted to be gone for just a few seconds. Come on, we’re going back outside, I wanna rematch Jake." 

"I was just about to head out.", you glanced at Jay, his eyes still following you, and then turned to face Han and Minho, who were both waiting expectantly. You offered Jay a smile. “Guess I’ll see you around, Jay,” you said, your voice light, as you drowned your drink and set the cup down on the counter next to you. Jay raised an eyebrow, his smile never fading. “Looking forward to it,” he replied. 

The small fried chicken shop near the ice rink was filled to the brim with people. Every seat was taken by a hockey player or one of their friends. The DA ice hockey team had just won the second game of the year after their winter break and everyone was celebrating. 

Jay sat at the end of the table, idly pushing his rice around with his chopsticks, half-tuned into the conversation between Heeseung and Yeonjun. He was scrolling through his instagram feed and got stuck under one of your posts. It was a small clip from your newest video.  “My husband and I cook dessert for the kids (you).”

He scrolled down to the comments, not wanting to see Han making heart eyes at you. He saw that happen in real life often enough, no need to see it here as well.  

‘Y/N and Han are literally couple goals. Like, just admit you’re dating already.’

‘The way Han looks at her… I’m crying. Why are they so cute?’

‘If they ever break up my heart will be broken’

Jay clenched his jaw. The commenters clearly loved the idea of you and Han as a pair, and from the outside, he could see why. He leaned back against his seat, running a hand over his face. He needed to get a grip. 

“-ay? Jay?”, Heeseung’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Are you still with us dude?”

Jay blinked, not even pretending to follow. “Uh, yeah, sure,” he mumbled, earning a snort from Yeonjun.

Heeseung narrowed his eyes playfully. “What’s got you so distracted?”

“Nothing.”, Jay closed his phone and put it onto the table, screen facing the wood.

“You sure it’s nothing? You just looked like you wanted to punch someone.”, Yeonjun said, biting into a chicken. Jay sighed but figured there was no harm in being honest. Heeseung would probably get it out of him eventually. “Y/N uploaded a video. With Han.” 

“Aww. Poor Jay is sulking  because his crush is hanging out with Han?”, Heeseung mocked, feigning pity. Yeonjun snorted, nearly choking on his food.

“I’m not sulking,” Jay shot back, though the defensiveness in his tone only made Heeseung and Yeonjun exchange knowing smirks.

“Okay, fine,” Yeonjun said, holding up his hands. “You’re not sulking. But, come on, be real for a second. Do you actually think Han has a chance with her?”

Jay hesitated, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “Everyone seems to think they’re perfect together.”

Heeseung barked out a laugh. “Everyone except the two people actually involved. Dude, Han’s so deep in the friend zone it’s practically a different zip code.”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun added, shaking his head. “The guy looks like he’s one declaration of love away from writing poetry in the rain. It’s tragic, really.”

Jay’s brow furrowed. “She told me she’s not interested in him like that. She said they’re just friends. Like siblings.”

“And you believe her?” Heeseung asked, arching a brow.

Jay nodded firmly. “Yeah, I do. She was clear about it. She’s never given me a reason to think otherwise.” Well it wasn’t as if the two of you talked about that topic particularly often. But he was certain that you have never mentioned a boyfriend.

“Then what’s stopping you?” Yeonjun asked, leaning forward. “You’re not in the friend zone. Hell, the way you were cozying up in the kitchen last week made it look like you are closer to her than Han ever was.”

Jay shrugged, his gaze dropping to the table. “It’s not that simple.”

Heeseung snorted. “It’s exactly that simple. Han’s not even in the competition, dude. You’re just psyching yourself out.”

Yeonjun grinned. “Let’s be honest, Jay. You’d be doing Han a favor. At least he’d finally get the hint and move on.”

Jay couldn’t help but chuckle at that, even as he shook his head. “You guys are impossible.”

“Maybe,” Heeseung said, raising his glass. “But we’re also right. Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to make a move. Before someone else does.”

Jay glanced at his phone again. Heeseung and Yeonjun might have been teasing, but deep down, Jay knew they weren’t entirely wrong.

“Yeah,” he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. “I know.”

“I hate the tomato sauce they serve in the food hall.”, Yeonjun wrinkled his nose in disgust after taking a bite of the cafeterias version of spaghetti bolognese. 

“Why would you get it then?”, Changbin asked before stuffing his mouth with some high protein chicken dish he brought from home. It smelled better than it looked, but it still looked unappealing. Close to whatever you were eating. Which was…a chickpea soup? You were not entirely sure, but it did taste decent. Han looked at his spaghetti with almost as much disgust as Yeonjun did. 

“Do I look like I wanna eat chickpea soup? It looks like vomit and I don't want to eat warm chickpea flavoured vomit.”, Yeonjun deadpanned and you snorted. He was right about that, but salty tomato sauce and over cooked noodles were not really a better option. 

“Babe. I am trying to enjoy my food.”, Chaeryoung hit his bicep and he yelped in mock pain. 

“Hey.”, came a greeting from somewhere behind you. 

You turned around to see Jay, Sunghoon and Jake standing behind you. Jay was smiling down at you. Was he always this tall? It was like you were sitting in the shadow of a very well-dressed tree. Except this tree smelled like fresh laundry and confidence. Stupid tree.

“Could we join you? The other tables are full.”, he tilted his head into the direction of the food hall. Almost every seat was taken.

Before you could even think of a proper answer Yeonjun, already gave them the okay and Jay slid into the seat next to you. He set down his tray and moved to take off his jacket. His knee touched yours and you flinched for a second but didn’t move it. 

“So, what did CC want from you?” Yeonjun asked between bites of his spaghetti, looking up at Jay with a raised brow. Jay shrugged, picking at his food as he leaned back in his chair. “Nothing important. He told Heeseung and me to keep an eye on you since Providence is a hard team to win against. And we, as captain and co-captain, are in charge of keeping you in check.” he said shrugging.

“Oh, that’s right,” Changbin chimed in, “Last year you lost against them, right? Wasn’Tt it againt them that Soobin almost broke his hand and CC freaked out?”

Jake nodded. “Yeah he was pushed behind the net and Lermann tends to play dirty and checked him from behind without apparent reason.”

You nodded, trying to act normal, but all you could think about was how Jay’s knee kept bumping against yours, the subtle touch sending a warmth flooding through your body. You kept your face calm and collected. Or well you tried to. Considering Chaes pointed facial expression you weren’t doing a particularly good job at it. 

"Yeah. Jesus that was shit. We lost a good player and then they started playing dirty and provoked everyone else and got power plays.", Jay said, shifting in his seat and leaning slightly closer to you without even realizing it. "But we’ve got this this time. We just need to keep focused. And ignore Jensens comments."

“I’m sure you’ll do great," you said, trying to sound encouraging, “It’s as much a mental as a physical thing. So if you go into the game with good vibes I am sure you’ll ehm powerplay them this time?” 

You had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. CC was Coach Choi, that was something you have learned, but aside from that you didn’t really keep up with anything that related to the hockey team. Well the real life one, you were keeping up with your fictional hockey boys? 

The real life hockey players that were sitting around you snorted. 

"Man, look at that. You always say that as well, don’t you?" Jake teased, nudging Jay with his elbow. "Maybe you should get her to coach the team. She would certainly be better in bringing the mood up than CC."

You winked at him, playing along. "Well, if you ever need a motivational coach for a game, you know where to find me.”

Your friends started digging back into their food, now talking about different topics. You were sitting in the middle, listening to Han Changbin and Chae with one and the rest with the other ear. 

“You know,” Jay said suddenly, bumping his knee back into yours to get your attentio , “if you’d want to, I would love to see you at a game. Maybe we just need some new fans and motivational coaches in the stands to win.”

You smiled at him, tilting your head. “Mhm I am not sure how much help I would actually be. I would just hog someones ticket who would actually want to see you play.”

“Oh don’t you worry. Pretty girls are allowed to do that.”, he leaned back down to take a bit of his spaghetti. 

Did he just call you a ‘pretty girl’? Like, in a casual, offhanded way? Like it was no big deal? Cool. That’s cool. 

Jay cringing slightly before taking another bite. "Maybe I'll just stick with something safer next time."

You couldn't help but laugh softly. "Yeah, probably a good idea.  Mine is actually not that bad." you teased, nudging him gently with your elbow.

Jay grinned at the playful exchange, leaning in slightly to whisper, “I’d rather get sick than eat that… chickpea disaster,” he added with a sly smile, gesturing to your soup. 

“So,” Yeonjun said with a sly grin, slinging an arm around your shoulders when you walked out of the cafeteria. "You and Jay, huh?"

You hummed, looking up from your phone. “What about me and Jay?”

He shrugged.”You looked real cozy in there. I didn’t know you were this close.”

You narrowed your eyes at Chaeryoung, who was walking in front of you. “What did Chae tell you?”

“Oh.”, Yeonjun said, his grin widening. “Just that you have a itsy bitsy tiny crush on my co-captain.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to brush off his teasing with a laugh. "I don’t have a crush on anyone. Jay and I are just friends."

“Uh-huh. Sure, just friends.”, Yeonjun nodded in a mock serious way.

You could feel your cheeks heat up, but you refused to admit anything outright. "Are ridiculous." Chaeryoung turned around, walking backward so she could face you. “You know, Y/N, Yeonjun’s right. You were totally giving Jay heart eyes back there.” “Chae,” you groaned, your face growing hotter. “I wasn’t giving him heart eyes.” “Oh, please,” she continued, her teasing relentless. “If he leaned in just a little closer, you probably would’ve kissed him.” 

If given the chance you would rather not kiss Jay in front of the whole food hall. Maybe you would kiss him if the two of you were alone and you were a bit drunk for some drunken confidence. 

Yeonjun snorted. “Imagine the chaos that would cause. Half the school would either faint or riot.”

“You’re both delusional.” You said, exasperation slipping into your tone, though a small smile tugged at your lips. “Jay’s just...Jay. We’re friends. That’s all.”

“Friends,” Yeonjun repeated, drawing out the word like it was some hilarious inside joke.

Han, who had been quietly walking next to you, started speaking. His tone was sharp, almost biting. “Maybe you shouldn’t get so cozy with him. You don’t want people to think you’re throwing yourself at him. You seemed a bit desperate in there Y/N.”

What. You turned to look at Han. Well you gawked at him. Month open, eyebrows furrowed.

The air around you seemed to shift instantly. Chaeryoung’s grin faltered, and Yeonjun stiffened, his arm falling from your shoulders. 

“What the hell, Han?” Chaeryoung said, her voice low but clearly annoyed.

Han shrugged, avoiding your eyes. “Just saying. It doesn’t look great. Just cause he has a rich daddy and plays hockey fairly well, Y/N doesn’t have to behave like a puck bunny.”

Your mouth opened, but no words came out. Did your best friend of 8 years, who knows of your crush, really just insinuate that you were using Jay for money? And sex? You have been gushing about Jay for the last few months, ever since he came into the cafe to study but the two of you ended up talking all the way through your shift.

No one said anything after that, you all just kind of stared at him. After a moment, Changbin cleared his throat. “Anyway, we should probably get to class.”

Yeonjun gave Han a look, one you couldn’t quite decipher, but said nothing as he started walking again.

Jay’s shoulders ached from the back-to-back practices, and every muscle in his body protested as he stepped into the café. The familiar scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries washed over him, but it barely registered. His eyes swept across the room, searching for you.

You looked… rough. Your hair was pulled back in a loose, slightly messy ponytail, and even the faint makeup you wore couldn’t fully hide the tired puffiness around your eyes. There was a flush to your cheeks, not the usual vibrant glow he was used to seeing, but a sign of exhaustion. You moved quickly, your steps a little hurried. 

Jay joined the line, which felt like it stretched for miles. He wasn’t in a hurry, though. This gave him more time to watch you. 

You didn’t notice him at first, too busy juggling orders and working the machines with practiced ease. His attention was glued to you, tracing the way your hands moved as you filled cups and slid them across the counter. When you finally did glance up, just for a split second, your eyes locked with his. Recognition flickered in your expression before you quickly turned back to the task at hand, your head tilting slightly as if to refocus.

The line shuffled forward slowly, giving him plenty of time to watch. You were darting back and forth, exchanging quick words with Renjun while also shooting occasional glances toward the clock. You didn’t look up fully again, but Jay swore he caught you sneaking a peek in his direction once or twice.

When he finally reached the counter, Renjun greeted him with a rather stressed. "What can I get you?"

"Americano, no room," Jay said without missing a beat, though his gaze flicked past Renjun, drawn to you again. You were at the other end of the counter, busying yourself with the espresso machine. But as if sensing his gaze, you turned your head slightly, your eyes meeting his for the briefest moment before you focused back on your work.

Renjun passed his order down to you, and Jay took a step to the side, pretending to look at the pastries on display. 

You turned back to the coffee machine, your movements fast despite the clear tiredness in your posture. He watched as you prepared his drink, the lines of concentration hardening your usual expressions. He noticed the way your fingers trembled slightly as you snapped the lid onto the cup.

"Here you go," you said, your voice soft and polite.

Jay grabbed the cup, his fingers brushing against the cardboard sleeve. He was about to say something but the words died on his lips when he noticed something written on the cup.

Text me :) 

2997-2977-127

Jay blinked, his grip on the cup tightening slightly as his brain processed what he was seeing. His heart thudded, the soreness in his muscles fading into the background. 

His eyes darted back up to you. You gave him a small smile before quickly turning back to help another customer.

Jay stared at his phone. He texted you almost four hours ago and you haven’t texted back. Everytime he opened his phone and saw that there was no notification from you he felt almost disappointed. He couldn’t remember being excited for a text message as much as he was for your answer. 

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly as if that could somehow release the tension building in his chest. 

The empty cup sat on the table beside him, the cardboard sleeve still marked with your scrawled handwriting. Jay sighed and flopped back against his couch, the phone resting on his chest.

“She’s probably busy,” he muttered to himself. That made sense. People had lives. You had a job. YOu were literally working at that job just a few hours ago and he knows your shift ended only like half an hour ago. It wasn’t like he expected you to drop everything just because he’d texted. But he kinda wanted you to. 

His phone buzzed.

Jay shot upright so fast it startled him. His heart stuttered as he grabbed his phone fumbling with his thumb to unlock it.

Unknown Number Hey, sorry for the delay Work got busy I didn’t mean to leave you hanging :) How’s your day going?

The corner of his mouth lifted before he even realized it. He stared at the message for a moment, trying to figure out what to say back without sounding too eager. 

Jay No worries :) My day had been pretty good, actually. How’s yours?

He hit send before he could second-guess it. The bubble popped up almost immediately, signaling that you were typing, and Jay smiled. This time, he didn’t even bother hiding it. He felt like a little school girl and if Jake was to come into his room right now he would probably never get the end of this.

Y/N Honestly, I’m exhausted. I might have drunk a bit too much yesterday? I missed you at the Greenwill-dorm-party :( I thought we could have catched up there! 

Jay blinked at the screen, your words pulling a groan out of him. 

Jay Missed me? I feel honored I was stuck at training all day yesterday, though Coach had us running drills for hours  I think he’s trying to kill me

Jay frowned at the memory, his muscles still aching from the endless sprints and repetitions. He hadn’t been out with friends last night. Nope, he’d been sprawled on the locker room floor cursing his coach under his breath and had missed out on seeing you. Again.

Y/N Ohhh you poor thing Jay I’ll make you go through just one round of drills and you will beg me to stop Y/N Oh? who said I want you to stop doing anything?

Jay stared at your text, a slow heat creeping up his neck. Oh? Who said I want you to stop doing anything? His brain ran through a dozen possible replies, none of them appropriate enough to send. He rubbed a hand over his face, fighting the grin pulling at his lips.

You were doing this on purpose. You had to be.

Jay You really don’t know what you’re asking for, do you? Y/N  I am always open to experience new things? But tbh the only thing i want to experience right now are 8 healthy hours of sleep  I have class at 9:30 tomorrow and i still feel like dying Jay You looked tired today Did you take painkillers? Y/N  geez thanks very much yeah but they aren’t helping that much and my stomach is kinda upset so i dont want to take another one Jay have you eaten anything yet?

The response took a little longer this time, but it finally came.

Y/N …No. But I have a good reason. My cat is sleeping on me, and I can’t move.

Jay blinked, his laughter bubbling out before he could stop it. Somehow, the image of you completely immobilized by a cat was both the most unexpected and the most fitting thing he could think of.

Jay You’re blaming the cat? Y/N I’m not “blaming” her. I’m respecting the unspoken rules. I’m legally required to stay put. Jay And starving in the process? 

Your answer to this message took a while. 

YN send a picture Just look at my little baby. I can’t just disturb her! 

He sat up straighter, his thumb hovering as he opened it. The image filled the screen—a shot of you sprawled back on what looked like your bed, a sleepy black cat curled up snugly against your chest. 

He blinked, then rubbed a hand over his jaw, trying to chase away whatever his brain was spiraling into. A stupid grin still tugged at the corner of his lips.

Jay Alright, I can’t even make fun of you for that She looks too comfortable to move.

He hit send, still staring at the picture like it might offer him answers to his prayers. It didn’t.

Y/N See?? I told you. Cat law.

He snorted, shaking his head as he leaned back against the couch. He then had a stupid idea. 

Jay Well, lucky for you, I’m not about to let you starve. Y/N What do you mean? Jay I mean, tell me what you want to eat & your address, and I’ll bring it over.

The typing bubble appeared. Paused. Disappeared. Then came back again, like you were hesitating.

Y/N Wait, seriously?  Jay You think I’d joke about something as serious as food? Now tell me what you’re craving.

Another pause. 

Y/N  Surprise me?

Jay stood outside your door, balancing a paper bag of food in one hand and a drink carrier in the other. 

Play it cool, he thought, letting out a small breath. This wasn’t a big thing, right. He was just bringing a friend some food, after inviting himself to dinner? A friend he definitely had a crush on. That he never really gets to spend one on one time with. And now he will be inside your apartment. With you. Before he could overthink it any further, the door creaked open.

You blinked up at him, looking slightly surprised. Your hair was slightly mussed, like you’d just rolled out of bed, and there was a soft flush to your cheeks, probably from the heat of the apartment. You were wearing the blue knit sweater that he has seen quite often now and a pair of leggings that hugged your curves in a way that made his brain short-circuit for half a second. He had to force himself to keep his eyes firmly on yours, gripping the bag a little tighter.

“Hey,” you said, a small, surprised smile pulling at your lips. “You weren’t kidding.”

“I would never,” Jay replied, holding up the bag.

You stepped back to let him in, turning to walk toward the living room, and Jay, against his better judgment, found himself glancing down again. He yanked his gaze away, blinking rapidly as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Jay cleared his throat and stared at the nearest object, which just happened to be your bookshelf. He was surprised for a second at how many books you owned. The shelf was filled with books and trinkets and a collection of vinyls. 

You laughed softly, walking into the direction of your living room sofa. “I thought you were joking. This is really nice of you.”

Jay shrugged, trying to play it off, though his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest. “I wasn’t about to let you starve,” he said, glancing around your apartment. “Where’s your little kitty?”

You tilted your head toward the couch. “She abandoned me the second you knocked. Betrayal.”

Jay grinned, shifting the bag to the coffee table and pulling out the containers. “Figures. I brought Japanese food, I hope that's okay.”

You hummed in agreement, flopping down onto the couch with a little sigh, after you set down two glasses and a bottle of water. 

“You didn’t have to do all this,” you murmured, pulling yourself into a cross-legged position as you watched him unpack the food. 

“It was no hussle. Really.”, he handed you a container with rice in it. “I would have had to eat something anyway and I really didn’t feel like cooking. I made steak with carbonara yesterday and cleaning up afterwards was so time consuming I didn't feel like cooking again today.”

“Oh?”, your eyes flickered back to him. “I didn’t know you like cooking?”

He nodded and put some rice onto his spoon, “I love cooking. I cook for my mom and my roommates all the time. I think it’s fun and if i don't cook Jake and Heeseung would live from Ramen.” 

You hummed and took a bit from the curry Jay brought. “That’s so nice. I can’t cook for life. I don’t trust myself in the kitchen.”

“Lucky for you, you now unlocked a personal chef.”, he joked. 

You laughed at him and hummed in agreement, while taking a bit of curry. 

Jay’s eyes flicked back to the bookshelf. There were neatly arranged rows of novels, some well-loved and worn, along with a few figurines peeking out here and there. From (obsessively) watching your videos and Tiktoks (RIP) he knew you were right now rereading the city of bones series and he saw the thick book laying on the floor next to your sofa. Colorful tabs were peeking out under the worn cover. 

„You have quite a big book collection. Have you read them all?“

You hummed again looking into the direction of your bookshelf aswell. „Most of them? My to-be-read books are on a bookshelf in my bedroom. I have about 48 left for this year to finish my reading goal.“

Jay looked back at you. „Reading goal?“

“Yeah. I try to read at least a book a month and i finished 4 already.”, you put the container you were holding back onto the coffee table and stood up. “I have a whole journal dedicated to my books.” 

Jay watched as you grabbed a small, overstuffed journal from the shelf. His gaze softened as you came back to the couch, settling down cross-legged a bit closer next to him. You put the journal on the coffee table and flipped it open, revealing pages filled with handwritten notes, colorful tabs, and tiny doodles. It looked like a lot of work. 

Jay scooted closer to you, his focus on the journal. “This is impressive. You really keep track of everything you read?”

You nodded, flipping through a few pages. “I like to rate them, write down my thoughts, favorite quotes… stuff like that. It’s relaxing, and it helps me remember the details.”

“What’s the latest book you read?” he asked, eyes focused on how your fingers moved across the pages.

You reached for the worn copy of City of Bones next to the couch, holding it up with a sheepish smile. “I’m actually rereading this series right now. I read the whole series back when it came out in like 2012? But I had quite a few edits of the male main character on my fyp and I kinda wanted to re-read it. I still love it, Jace was one of my first big fictional crushes.”

Jay laughed slightly and his gaze drifted back at your journal. The page that was flipped open had a print out of the cover of a book glued into it. He blinked, leaning in to take a closer look. A man in hockey gear stood front and center on the cover, and beneath it, in your neat handwriting, he spotted something that made him pause. ‘Heeseung and Jay remind me of Logan and Garreth. At least a bit.’ 

He tilted his head slightly, a slow grin spreading across his face as he reached for the notebook. “Wait a second,” he said, “Are you reading… hockey romances?”

You froze, mid movement, your hand lingering in the air still holding your edition of city of bones. A flush crept up your cheeks as you followed his gaze. “Oh. Um, yeah. Kind of.”

Jay’s grin widened, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “What do you mean, kind of? That’s a hockey stick right there on the cover.”

You groaned, leaning back against the couch as Gracie emerged from her cat bed and jumped onto the sofa, nestling against your thigh. “Okay, maybe a few. But it’s not what you think. These are actually really good! They’re funny and sweet, and the characters are…” You hesitated, searching for the right words. “...well-written, okay? Don’t judge me.” You turned your face away in slight embarrassment. 

Jay raised an eyebrow, his grin turning mischievous. “Oh, sure. Well-written. I’m sure that’s why you’re all flushed.” He leaned back, stretching one arm along the back of the couch, the other still holding the journal, scanning the text. “Let me guess. It’s the character development that really got you during that, uh... locker room scene?”

Your eyes widened, and a soft squeak escaped your lips. “Stop reading that!”

He shifted, angling himself away from you to continue reading. “So, what exactly happens in this locker room? Should I be taking notes?”

“Oh my God,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands. “It’s not- Jay, stop! It’s not what you think!”

Jay chuckled, his laugh low and warm. You were cute when you got flustered, all pink cheeks and wide eyes. He couldn't get enough of it. 

“No need to explain yourself,” he said, enjoying himself. “I get it. Hockey players are hot. I mean, look at me.”

“Unbelievable,” you muttered, shooting him a glare from between your fingers.

But your reaction only fueled him on. “I’m just saying,” he continued, leaning closer. “If you’re into tall guys with great stick-handling skills, you could’ve just said so.”

You groaned again, louder this time, and even Gracie meowed as if to add to your mortification. “Jay!”

“What?” He laughed, thoroughly entertained. “I’m just trying to understand your literary taste. It’s research.” HIs eyes flickered back to the journal.

“Maybe,” he said, his eyes meeting yours. “Who knows? Might even learn a thing or two from these ‘well-written’ books of yours.”

Just the thought of you reading hockey romances made his mind wander, his thoughts going in places it shouldn't. His pulse quickened, but he pushed the thought down with a smirk. He knew too well what that locker scene was about. Jeonghee, the teams social media manager made them read that exact scene.

“I don’t think there really is a lot for you to learn from these books. You do know hockey and you-”, you made a short pause, “know your ways around the ladies, as far as i know”. Shaking your head, you reached out to pluck your journal out of his hands. You pressed it against your chest and pouted at him. When your eyes met, his brain completely abandoned its job. Thoughts? Gone. Words? Irrelevant. You looked adorable.

“Mhm you are sure the locker scene couldn’t teach me anything? Maybe I should read that book as well.”, he shrugged and smirked at you, grabbing his container of curry again.

You gasped and hit him with your journal. “Jay. What the hell. You are impossible.”

He laughed and raised his hand to defend himself from your attack. "Do you even know the rules of hockey?" 

Your brow furrowed, eyes narrowing at him as you sat up, your attention fully on him now. "I know enough," you said. "You hit the puck, score goals, and try not to get punched?"

Jay couldn’t help but laugh at your confidence. It reminded him of your comment about them ‘playing in powerplay’ a few days ago. You were trying to be supportive, even if you were completely clueless. Jake and Yeonjun didn’t let him breath afterwards. 

“That’s...not totally wrong?" he said with a chuckle, the corner of his lips twitching up. He leaned in a little closer, his voice shifting into a more playful tone. “But there’s a little more to it than that.”

“Oh, yeah?” you said, raising an eyebrow. 

He shifted closer, trying his best to keep it together.

"Like icing. Or offsides. Or powerplays." He tilted his head, his eyes flicking to yours, and his voice dropped again, softer now. "If you’re going to read hockey romances, you should at least know what’s happening on the ice."

"Jay!" you said, but it wasn’t annoying. It was playful, lighthearted, and - damn, he loved hearing it.

Jay’s grin widened, and he leaned in a little closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “If you want a lesson, I’m more than happy to teach.” He noticed the way your breath hitched just slightly, and it sent a rush of heat through his chest. He had to admit, he was having way too much fun with this.

He leaned back again, trying to steady his racing thoughts. He shouldn’t focus on the way you looked, how you pouted when you tried to act mad. He definitely shouldn’t think about how cute it was when you crossed your arms like you were trying to protect yourself from his teasing. And he should definitely not think about you reading those locker room scenes. Getting all flushed and flustered for different reasons. 

You glared at him but with a soft edge, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Oh, you think you can just throw out some hockey terminology and impress me?”

Jay shrugged, looking effortlessly confident. “Works for some people,” he said, a playful gleam in his eyes. 

"Are you offering to teach me hockey rules so I understand my books better, Jay?", you leaned in closer to him. He could feel the warmth radiating from you, and for a brief, unhinged moment, he considered stepping closer. 

“Why not? I’m practically a pro.” Jay’s lips curved into a slow grin. “I’d take it very seriously. After all, I’m in a prime position to verify the accuracy of the hockey parts.”

Your eyes rolled, but he caught the smile that tugged at your lips. "Oh, right," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Because that’s the part of the book you’d focus on."

"Well, yeah," Jay said, his grin widening. "If it helps you visualize those locker room scenes better, I’m happy to provide insight." 

He would love to provide insight on that. Desperately. The way you laughed, head thrown back, looking both exasperated and amused, made Jay's chest tighten again. You were so soft and pretty, he wanted to reach out and touch your face so badly. 

“Alright, alright,” you said, rolling your eyes as you crossed your arms again, but there was a slight smirk pulling at your lips. “You'll have to start with the basics. Even if i don't really need them to read hockey romances.”

Jay couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m just trying to help you expand your knowledge. It might come in handy and it’s educational.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Well, fine. Educate me,” you said, leaning forward a little, “I’m expecting some quality answers and a physical performance of important moves if necessary.”

“Trust me,” Jay said with a wink, “I always give a good performance.”

You were rubbing your hands onto each other while you were hurrying through the crowd of people entering the ice rink on the decelis campus. A few enthusiastic fans were already making their way to the stands even though the game was supposed to start in almost one and a half hours. 

When you found Chaeryoung, she was already settled in her seat, looking completely at home in her oversized jersey with Yeonjun’s name printed on it. Her eyes sparkled as she scanned the players already warming up on the ice. 

"Sorry I'm late," you said breathlessly, slipping into the empty seat next to her. "Professor Shin ignored that the lecture should have ended at four thirty and ended it like 20 minutes later. Made me want to shoot myself into my head."

“You’re just in time for warm-ups,” she said, nudging you lightly with her elbow. “Why does it take an evening together with Jay to convince you to come along to watch a game?”

You groaned, having had his conversation about three times since you asked her if she was watching the game today. “Like I told you, he invited me because he claims I will understand the rules better when watching a game in real life. Jay didn’t really have to convince me,” you muttered, trying to sound casual, but you could already feel the heat rising on your face. “He just... invited me. I thought it might be fun to see the game live.”

You would also like to see him in his element. The way he so enthusiastically explained everything and even showed you videos for better understanding, made you want to see him skate. He was right. You apparently did have a thing for tall hockey men with good stick handling skills. Especially if their names are Jay Park and they come and surprise you with food and butterflies in your stomach. 

Chaeryoung let out a little snort of laughter, turning her head to look at you. “Uh-huh, sure. The ‘game’ convinced you to come.” Her tone was light, teasing, but there was a spark of amusement in her eyes.

You groaned, feeling your face heat up. “I’m just here to watch them play with their sticks. I guess?"

“Come on.”, she laughed, shaking her head “I see the way you are staring at Jay at any given chance.”

“First of all I am not staring, I am looking respectfully. And second of all why wouldn’t I? He is hot and I am here to be, you know, supportive to my new friend. Right. My new friend Jay.”, you didn’t sound convincing even to your own ears. But who were you to try to fool Chaeryoung, she could read you like the back of her hand. 

Your friend raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your sudden defensive tone. “Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s all you’re doing. Just being a good friend.”

You shot her a glare, but it only made her laugh more. “Hey, you should be happy you aren’t alone today and enjoy my presence. This may be a once in a lifetime thing.” 

Chaeryoung just grinned, her eyes flickering back to the ice. “I am babes, don’t get me wrong. But Jay had to convince you?”

“Can we just focus on the game?”, you turned your gaze towards the ice, watching as the players from both teams were stretching and gliding around. “Or well, whatever they are doing there?”

“Warming up.”, she clarified, shrugging. “Jay's back number is 99, he is one of the forwards. Junnie is a defensemen but he is in the second line, so he won’t start the game.”

You nodded. You had picked up some of the basics. The forwards try to score, the defensemen block the shots, and the goalie defends the goal and is, according to Jay, absolutely batshit crazy. Well knowing Beomguy yourself, Jay's judgement of his character may be correct. The lines in the game are zones, don’t run over the zone line without a puck, don't trip anyone, don't play the puck above shoulder high, don't use your hockey stick to touch anything but the puck and try to not get into a brawl with anyone. If gloves come off, look away or enjoy men being brutal. Got that. 

You tried to spot Jay. The players all wore the same gear and their helmets were keeping their faces hidden but they were moving so fast, you had a hard time keeping up with the back numbers. 

The third period was just about to start when you reluctantly gathered your things, pulling your coat tighter around you.

“Leaving already?” Chaeryoung asked, her brows furrowing as she glanced at the ice. “The game’s just getting good!”

“I know, but I can’t be late for my shift,” you said, slipping your bag over your shoulder. “Haechan will rip my head off if i get there late and he has to spend his ‘precious friday evening in that shoe box’”

“You should think he loves his job, the way he boasts about being one of the hosts.”, Chaeryoung deadpanned.

“He does. He just doesn’t like being in the studio when he doesn't have to be.”, you shrugged and moved down a step, “Keep me updated and enjoy the rest of the game for me!”

“Oh, I will,” she teased. “I’ll let Jay know his friend had to skip out early. Have fun at the station.” she smiled at you, but her focus was back at the ice when the crowd around you groaned in frustration. 

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. Navigating through the crowd, you made your way toward the exit, already mentally preparing for the long evening ahead. Just as you rounded the corner near the concessions, someone stepped into your path, nearly colliding with you.

“Whoa, hey!”

You looked up to find Sunghoon, his familiar grin spreading across his face.

“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?” you asked, surprised.

“Supporting the guys,” he said, gesturing toward the ice. “Jake claims I am his personal lucky charm so I am obligated to attend.”

“Right,” you said, stepping aside to let someone pass. “I forgot how close you all are.”

“What about you?” he asked, tilting his head. “Not sticking around for the third period?”

You sighed, hitching your bag higher on your shoulder. “I’d love to, but I’ve got a shift at the station.”

“Damn i forgot you host fridays,” he said, shaking his head sympathetically. “Too bad, though. There’s a party after the game. You should come celebrate their win and getting some free booze.”

“Wish I could, Jay also invited me, but I’ll be working until like eleven?”, you said with a shrug.

Sunghoon’s smirk widened, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Bummer. I’m pretty sure he’d love to see you.”

Your cheeks warmed, but you rolled your eyes to play it cool. “I’ll try to stop by, but no promises.”

“Fair enough,” he said, stepping aside to let you pass. “I’ll let him know. He’s gonna be bummed, though.”

“Sure. I really have to get going. It was nice to see you Sunghoon, maybe until later.”, you smiled at him and continued your way to the exit of the ice rink.

You entered the studio just in time, as Haechan was queuing his last song of the evening. “This has been 37.5 MHz Haechan Radio. Thank you so much for listening.”

He clicked off his mic just as you dropped your bag on the couch by the door. Spinning his chair around, Haechan grinned at you.

“Look who finally decided to show up!” he said, throwing up his arms in a dramatic gesture.

“I’m literally right on time,” you replied, rolling your eyes but unable to suppress a smile as you let yourself into the recording booth.

“Barely,” he quipped, standing to stretch. “For a minute there, I thought you were gonna leave me hanging. Can you imagine? Poor me, abandoned, forced to extend my show just to fill dead air…”

“Spare me the dramatics,” you said, nudging him aside so you could take his seat. “You’d love the extra airtime, and you know it.”

“True,” he admitted, leaning against the desk as you adjusted the mic to your height. “But I also love my Friday night freedom.”

“I once did too.” you replied dryly.

Haechan laughed, giving you a quick salute as he grabbed his bag. “Knock ’em dead.”

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you alone in the studio. You settled into the chair and pulled your headphones on.

“This is Y/N, and you’re tuned in to 37.5 MHz. Today we are going to travel through time and listen to a lot of 90s and 2000 bangers, to get you all hyped up for your Friday evening parties. Please send in any song wishes or recommendations to our instagram and remember to have fun, but don’t have to much fun! This is Britney Spears with her hit song ‘Baby hit me one more time’,” you said into the mic, officially starting your programm of the evening.

This job was everything you’d dreamed of. Landing your own show at the station, especially on a Friday evening as a first year, was a big thing. You weren't about to take it for granted, especially since this job was looking very good in your CV. You always wanted to work in the entertainment industry and this was a good opportunity to get a foot into the door. But that didn’t mean it didn’t come with sacrifices.

Sometimes, you wondered if you’d been too eager to take Johnny’s spot. When he graduated he was looking for a new host to take over his show. He was ecstatic when he saw your application and a few days later his signature slot was yours. While you loved it, you couldn’t deny the occasional pang of regret when your friends made plans without you or when nights like this one rolled around.

The first hour passed uneventfully, your curated playlist keeping you company as you took requests and made the occasional announcement. You leaned back in your chair, pulling out your macbook to work on an essay that was due in a few days, while Rihanna was singing about her umbrellas in the background. You got a bit of work done before the four songs you queued up were done playing. As you announced the next track, your phone buzzed against the desk. You picked it up to find a text from Jay.

Jay Sunghoon told me you left early :(  Wish I got to see you after the game

You smiled, your fingers hovering over the keyboard before you typed a reply.

Y/N Sorry :(  I had to literally run to the station since i stayed as long as i could But I did catch that penalty kill in the second period I was holding my breath the whole time! Jay Oh wow, I’m impressed you remember what it’s called Look at you, turning into a real hockey pro You rolled your eyes at the screen, still smiling. Y/N I did actually pay attention when you explained the rules to me okay!! I’m still not entirely sure I know what offside means Jay We’ll work on that. I’m always available for hockey lessons Y/N Sure lmao The next time i am lost during the game I wont ask Chae but shout over the glass to ask you Jay Please do ahahah

You put your phone back onto the table, queuing up a few more songs after checking the recommendations in the stations instagram account, when you phone vibrated again. 

Jay How’s the station?  Y/N  It’s fine, just me and the music I am working on the essay for COM 1 Jay Want some company?  I could skip the party and come by :) 

Your heart skipped, and for a moment, you stared at the screen, unsure how to respond.

Y/N That’s sweet, but you should celebrate with your friends I’ll be fine here Jay You’re sure? I don’t mind I’ve gotten drunk too often in the last few weeks My liver would thank me for a small pause Y/N Yes I am sure Park Go and celebrate your win! 

After you wrapped up your shift and closed the station for the day you texted Lia and Chaeryoung that you were on your way to the bar and asked them to let you know if they were still there. As you stepped out into the cold night air your phone vibrated and you saw Chaeryoungs face smiling at you. You pressed your phone to your ear as Chaeryoung’s voice slurred through the line.

“Y/N! Where are you?” Chaeryoung’s voice was loud as she almost screamed over the loud background music.

“I’m on my way, Chaeryoung,” you said, pulling your jacket tighter.

She giggled. “Hurry up! They are doing body shots right now. The exchange students are going crazy right now.”

“I will babes. I’m there in like fifteen minutes.”, you hung up, laughing to yourself.

As you stood just inside the entryway of the full bar, scanning the room for Chaeryoung, you were bumped lightly from behind. Before you could even turn, a familiar voice called out, “Y/N!”

You spun around to find Sunghoon grinning at you. “You made it!”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “Have you seen Chaeryoung?”

“Yeah but she’s off doing god knows what,” Sunghoon laughed, shaking his head and swaying dangerously. “Come on, I’ll get you a drink!”

As you were pulled through the crowd, people greeted Sunghoon enthusiastically, clapping him on the back or offering him shots, which he accepted without hesitation. You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, and accept your first shots of the evening aswell.

At the bar, you spotted Jay leaning casually against the counter, a drink in hand. His cheeks were flushed, and his grin widened when he saw you approaching. His hair was tousled like he’d been running his fingers through it all night, and his leather jacket clung to his broad shoulders in a way that made your mouth dry.

“Y/N!” Jay called, his voice bright with excitement. He set his drink down and took a step toward you pulling you into a hug. Okay, this was new. Not bad. But new

“Jay,” you greeted a bit breathless, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped when you felt his broad chest collided with yours. He had to have a six pack. A eight pack??

After a second your brain decided to come back to its senses, even though your actual senses were filled with Jay. He smelled so heavenly. And his warm body pressing into yours was a stark contrast to the biting cold of the outside. “Congratulations on the win!”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling at you and letting you go from his embrace. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“I couldn’t miss the chance to celebrate,” you said, returning his smile.

Jay chuckled. “What are you drinking?"

“Whatever you can recommend?",” you shrugged, glancing around for Sunghoon, who had already wandered off.

Jay turned to the bartender and ordered a martini pornstar. Before you could say anything else, someone bumped into you, and you nearly lost your balance. Instinctively, you reached out to steady yourself, and before you could fall, you felt a firm hand settle on your waist.

“Careful,” Jay’s voice was low in your ear, his touch warm against your side. 

“I’m fine,” you managed, glancing up at him, only to realize how close his face was to yours now. 

“You really have to stop falling for me like this,” Jay teased, looking down at you.

You fought the urge to smile, biting back a grin. “If I remember correctly, I wasn’t exactly falling for you. I was trying my best not to faceplant. You just happened to be in the way.”

“In the way?” Jay’s lips curved into a teasing smile, and he placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be offended. “Ouch, Y/N. That stings.”

He rested his arm casually on the bar as he leaned in a little closer, just enough to make the space between you two feel impossibly small. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t faceplant,” he said softly, his gaze dipping to your lips for just a moment before meeting your eyes again. “That would’ve been tragic for both you and my jacket.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at him, the space between you two so close now that it felt impossible to focus on anything else. 

“Oh, I’m sure you’d survive,” you whispered, unable to stop the way your eyes drifted down to his lips, then back to his intense gaze.

A very drunk Jake appeared on Jay’s other side, a grin plastered across his face. “Y/N!” he said loudly, throwing an arm around Jay’s shoulder to steady himself. “You`re here!”

“I am,” you replied, laughing softly at his enthusiasm. Looking back at Jay. His hand remained around your waist and his pretty face was pulled into a frown, when he looked at Jake.

“Do you want a shot?” Jake asked, not waiting for your answer before flagging down the bartender. “Three shots of tequila, please!”

Jay opened his mouth to protest but was immediately ignored as Jake handed you one of the shots, his grin widening. 

“Cheers!” he said enthusiastically, raising his glass.

You glanced at Jay, whose lips curled into a smile but his eyes narrowed slightly. “I think that's not a good idea.” Jay said, his tone light but firm. 

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. “I think I can handle one shot,” you said, raising the glass to your lips.

You swallowed the shot, the heat spreading through your chest, but you didn’t break eye contact. His eyes flicked to your lips as you finished, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small, almost predatory smirk.

“I know you can,” he murmured, his voice low. He was close enough now that you felt his breath against the shell of your ear as he spoke. You swallowed again. Hard. “I’m just not sure about him.”

Jake leaned over to order another round of shots. Jay let out a soft sigh, removing his hand from your hip, to stop his friend. 

“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Jake,” Jay said, placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder and steering him toward the crowd. 

“You're a party pooper, Jay.”, he shook his head, “I am going to find Hoonie, he is going to want a shot!” 

As Jake stumbled off again, you shook your head. “I should probably also find my friends before they think I bailed.” 

Jay’s expression shifted slightly, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face before he masked it with a smile. “Sure. Will we see each other later?”

“Definitely,” you promised, giving him a small wave as you stepped back into the crowd.

The next time you bumped into Jay was on the dancefloor. You were dancing with your friends, singing, well screaming, along to the songs blaring from the speakers. Minho and Changbin had done an excellent job getting you drunk, offering shot after shot and drink after drink until everything around you buzzed with a pleasant warmth. The bass vibrated through your chest, as you lifted your lifted into the air, your hips instinctively moving to the beat.

The first beats of Teenage Dream started playing and you gasped. 

“Oh my god! This is my song!” you exclaimed, closing your eyes as you belted out the lyrics.

When you opened them again, you spotted Jay and his friends stepping onto the dancefloor or more accurately, being pulled into the crowd by Jake and Sunghoon, with a reluctant-looking Heeseung trailing behind. Jay's grin widened when he spotted you, and before you could process it, he was steering his friends through the crowd into your direction. Jake almost immediately jumped Felix, also belting Teenage Dream. 

“You’re a Katy Perry fan?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow in mock surprise as he reached you.

“Who isn’t?” you shot back, already singing along to the lyrics, your voice a little loud and off-key, as you swayed to the rhythm, your movements just slightly unsteady.

Jay laughed, and to your delight, he joined in, belting out the chorus. 

“When did you get this drunk?” he asked, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he watched you spin in place.

“I’m not drunk! Just tipsy!” you corrected with a grin, catching his arm to steady yourself mid-spin.

Jay’s hand instinctively came to your waist, steadying you as you giggled. “Okay, tipsy, maybe we should cool off for a bit?”

“Nooo!” you protested, grabbing his free hand and shaking it with exaggerated insistence. “We can’t leave Katy hanging!”

Jay threw his head back, laughing, but he didn’t argue. God he was so pretty. He stayed by your side, belting out the rest of the song with you, his voice blending with your off-key enthusiasm.

It wasn’t until the DJ transitioned to a rap track you didn’t recognize that you finally relented to take a small break. The world was a bit wonkier than you’d like and the fact that Jay was so close that you could feel his body heat radiate into yours made your heart beat faster than you'd like.

Jay guided you through the crowd, his hand warm on your back as he led you to the door. The cool night air hit your face like a splash of water, sobering you slightly as you stepped onto the patio. 

You sighed in relief, tilting your head back to feel the cool breeze against your skin. “This is so much better,” you murmured. 

You shivered slightly, tugging your cardigan tighter around you as you stepped onto the sidewalk. You spotted a bench a few feet away, its wooden slats looking inviting despite the cold. Without thinking, you made your way over and sat down.

Jay hesitated for a moment before joining you, his shoulder brushing yours lightly as he settled in. He glanced at you and frowned when he saw you shiver again. 

“You’re freezing,” he murmured.

“I’m fine,” you said, though your teeth chattered slightly.

Jay didn’t say anything. He slipped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. It smelled like him. Whatever cologne that is, it’s probably illegal in seven countries for how unfairly attractive it makes Jay smell.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, pulling it tighter around you.

“Of course,” he said softly, his gaze lingering on you a beat too long.

You tilted your head back to look at the sky, the stars faint against the glow of the city lights. “You were so cool at the game,” you said suddenly, your words slightly slurred.

Jay chuckled. “Oh yeah?”

“I mean it,” you insisted, turning to face him, though the motion made your head spin slightly. “The way you all move and like i don’t know glide over the ice? And you can still stop and ugh. It was very cool to watch. And i understood stuff. Very cool. And I am rambling. I should stop.” When did you get that drunk. You didn’t even drink that much. Maybe, just, a few shots and a few drinks? Okay. Scratch that, you did definitely drink more than planned.

“Yeah?” He looked at you, his expression softening. “That’s good to hear. I tried extra hard today, knowing you would be there and yeah.”

You positively beamed at him. He played good to impress you? “Oh that’s so nice. Thank you.”, without thinking you rested your head on his shoulders, shuffling a bit closer to him and his body warmth.

Jay froze for a second, but then you felt him rest his head on yours as well.

A yawn escaped you before you could stop it, and you blinked.

“Tired?” Jay asked.

“Nope,” you lied, shaking your head, though the weight of his jacket and the buzz of the alcohol were making you feel dangerously close to curling up right there. “Totally wide awake. I want more shots.”

Jay laughed, the sound vibrating through you. “I think you’ve had enough for one night.”

“Lies!” you declared, standing up abruptly. The world tilted, and you quickly sat back down, clutching the bench for support. “Maybe just one more.”

Jay groaned softly, running a hand through his hair as he watched you give him your best pout, complete with wide, imploring puppy eyes. “Y/N, you’ve already had, what? Five? Six shots?”

“Four,” you corrected, holding up three fingers. Then you frowned and switched to four. “Maybe five. But that’s not the point!”

Jay crossed his arms, one brow arching as he fought to keep a straight face. “The point is you’re done for the night.”

“I’m not,” you protested, leaning against the bench dramatically. “One more. One teeny, tiny little shot. Pleeease?”

Jay shook his head, laughing under his breath. “Y/N, no.”

You groaned, throwing your head back in mock despair. “But Jay, I never get to have this much fun.”

“Trust me, you’ll have more fun when you don’t wake up feeling like your head’s been run over by a car,” he teased.

You pouted harder. “You’re mean. The meanest ever. Jake would let me drink another shot. He is so nice”

Jay rolled his eyes, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. “You’re not going to guilt-trip me into this.”

You squinted at him, tilting your head as if assessing his resolve. Then, with a dramatic sigh, you straightened and muttered, “Fine. But only because you’re cute.” What. 

Jay froze for a fraction of a second, the words clearly catching him off guard. “I’m cute?” he repeated, a teasing smile replacing his initial surprise.

“Devastatingly,” you mumbled, clearly not realizing what you’d just said and when you did, just a fraction too late you had the desire to hit your head onto the concrete floor.

Jay bit back a laugh, reaching out to steady you as you wobbled slightly. “Come on. Let’s get you some water, tipsy.”

Reluctantly, you let him help you up. His hand was warm and steady on your back as he guided you inside. The bar was still lively, and Jake immediately spotted you.

“Y/N! Another shot!” he shouted, holding up a glass triumphantly.

“Yes!” you started to cheer, but Jay’s arm came up, blocking you slightly as he intercepted the glass.

“Absolutely not,” he said firmly, tossing the shot back himself before placing the empty glass on the bar. The smoothness of his motion, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed, left you momentarily speechless. All thoughts left your brain.

“That was so sexy,” you mumbled, barely realizing you’d said it out loud. You were pretty sure this shot could have been the beginning of an erotica movie. Amazing.

Jay turned to you, his lips twitching into a teasing smile. “Glad you think so.”

He handed the empty glass back to Jake, who looked mildly impressed despite his tipsy state. “That’s the last one. For everyone.”

“I hate you,” you muttered, though the smile on your face betrayed you.

“Sure you do,” Jay replied, his voice low and teasing. 

He steered you gently toward your friends, making sure you said goodbye to everyone. Chaeryoung hugged you tightly, Felix gave you a goofy thumbs-up, and Jake pouted when Jay wouldn’t let him order another round.

When the two of you were back at the door, Jay stopped, turning to face you with a small frown. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” 

“I’m sure,” you said, smiling up at him. “It’s a short walk. I’ll call you!”

Jay hesitated, his gaze searching yours for a moment before he nodded. “Alright. But call me as soon as you get home.”

“Deal,” you said, leaning up and impulsively pressing a chaste kiss on his cheek. You pulled back, the reality of what you’d just done hitting you like a freight train. Did you just kiss him? Oh my God, you just kissed him. Abort mission. Run. MOVE.

But your feet betrayed you, glued to the ground as heat flooded your face. “Uh- sorry. That was- I didn’t mean-” you stammered, your words tangling together and your face heating up. “Okay, I meant it, but I didn’t mean it like that, I just - oh my God, can you forget I just did that?”

Jay blinked, his expression shifting into something almost unreadable. Soft, maybe a little amused? Then his lips curved into the kind of smile that made your heart stumble over itself.

“I’m not forgetting that,” he said, his voice warm and quiet. “But if you want me to, I’ll pretend you didn’t just completely short-circuit in front of me.”

“I- ” you started, then closed your mouth, unsure if you should laugh or cry. Probably both. “I’m fine. Totally fine. I just - goodnight!”

You turned quickly, trying to escape the scene of your own emotional car crash, but Jay reached out, catching your wrist gently. The warmth of his hand stopped you dead.

“Hey.” His tone was soft, coaxing, as he leaned down just slightly to meet your gaze. “Don’t overthink it, okay? I liked it.”

You blinked at him, the words hitting like a slow wave. “You did?”

Jay’s grin widened, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Yeah. Though I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm next time.”

“Next time?” you repeated, your voice rising an octave. Oh no, your brain has officially checked out again. Someone reboot you. “Next time,” he said firmly, letting go of your wrist but brushing his fingers over yours in a way that felt deliberate, lingering. “But for now, go home before I decide to ignore my better judgment and walk you there anyway.”

You could only nod, your heart thudding in your chest as you stumbled out into the cool night air. Next time. His words replayed over and over in your head as you made your way home. 

When you could see your apartment building you pulled your phone out of your back pocket. Taking a deep breath and pretending that your heart wasn’t still racing you called Jay.

He picked up almost instantly. “Y/N?”

“I am almost home, Jay. I can see my apartment building already. I am safe and sound.”, you said softly.

“Good,” he said, his voice softening. “I’m still walking you to the door, though. Stay on the phone. I-” Jay was interrupted by Jakes slurred and offended voice.

“Y/N went home? My shots partner ditched me?”

Jay sighed, but there was an unmistakable fondness in his tone. “She didn’t ditch you. She’s tired and needed to get home.”

“You’re so boring,” Jake grumbled. “Let me talk to her!”

“Jake-”

“Jaaaay, let me talk to her!” Jake’s whining made you laugh, and Jay sighed in defeat before you could hear him handing the phone over.

“Y/N!” Jake’s voice boomed through the speaker.

“Jake,” you greeted, suppressing your laughter. The embarrassment, the fresh air and the bottle of water you bought in the GS25 did a good job in sobering you up at least a bit. 

“You’re a traitor,” he accused, though his tone was playful. “We were supposed to keep the shot streak alive. Katy is playing again!”

“Next time,” you promised, nodding even though he could see you.

“Fine,” Jake said with a dramatic huff before handing the phone back.

“Sorry about that,” Jay said, his tone dry but amused.

“It’s okay. Jake’s fun.” You paused. “I’m almost home. You can hang up now and go back to the others.”

“No,” Jay said firmly. “I’m not hanging up. Not until you’re inside.”

You punched the pin to your apartment into the number pad as Jay was fending off a drunk Jake again. You haphazardly kicked off your shoes as Gracie trotted over to greet you. 

“Oh my God, Gracie,” you squealed. “You’re so cute. Did you miss me? I missed you.”

Gracie purred loudly, rubbing her head against your hand. 

“I’m home!” you declared into your speaker. “Also, guess what?”

Jay chuckled softly. “What?”

“Gracie missed me,” you said with a dramatic sigh, collapsing onto your couch. “Like, she’s acting like I’ve been gone for years. She’s the best cat ever, Jay. Like, ever. And she forgives me for leaving her because she loves me so much.”

Mhm. Maybe not as sober as you thought.

“Of course,” he said, his tone amused. “I’m glad Gracie forgives you. She’s very forgiving.”

“She is,” you agreed, stroking her fur as she curled up on your lap. 

Jay laughed softly, the sound warm in your ear. 

“But she’s still the best. I mean, look at her-wait, you can’t see her. She’s being adorable right now, though. You’d die.”

“I am sure she is.”, he laughed again. 

Ugh why must his laugh be that attractive.

“I had so much fun tonight. And Gracie’s the cherry on top. She’s purring like crazy right now. ”

“Oh, really?” he teased.

“Really,” you insisted. 

Jay’s laughter filled the line, warm and teasing. “You should sleep now.”

“Okay, fine,” you mumbled, getting up from the floor, “Congratulations on your win again.”

“Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me.” he said softly.

For a short moment neither of you said anything until he urged you to drink some water and to go to sleep.

“Good night, Y/N”

“Good night, Jay.”

God, you were in trouble.

The morning sunlight filtered through Jay’s curtains, waking him slowly. Blinking against the brightness, he stretched out on his bed, his muscles pleasantly sore. 

He reached for his phone. The screen lit up, revealing a flood of notifications. New Instagram followers. Dozens of comments on his Posts. As well as a dozen DMs. 

Choi Jeonghee  What did you do?!

Jay groaned softly, rubbing his face as he sat up in bed. He did nothing, or well nothing that would have gotten him any trouble with the media or similar? After you left yesterday he collected Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon and made them go home and he fell into his bed as soon as they walked through the doorway. Maybe his dad posted on the official instagram of Park ent. and tagged him? 

He opened Instagram first, scrolling through the sea of new followers and tags. Confused, he checked his DMs, finding them packed with messages—mostly from strangers, a few from people he vaguely recognized.

Then he saw it: a tagged story from you.

Clicking on it, he was greeted by a short clip of the two of you from last night, dancing to Katy Perry. The video was shaky, and a bit blurry and Felix and Jakes voices were drowning out the actual singer by belting the lyrics. Even completely sober you looked beautiful to him. You were laughing and holding onto him, while he was looking at you like you were holding the stars in your eyes. You tagged him and the bar you met in yesterday. You also posted a picture of Chaeryoung during the match yesterday.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that your fans must have seen the story and just started following him because of that. You have told him before, that your fans were very invested in your love life and how you weren’t a big fan of that, so you tried to keep that as secret as possible, never really posting about it. They would love you and Han together but you assured him that you weren’t interested in Han a bit. He did believe you but he wasn’t so sure that Han felt the same. Every time he crossed paths with you and your friend group, whether on campus or down by the creek, Han shot him glances sharp enough to kill.

He was about to text Jeonghee back when a soft knocking sound came from his door and Heeseung peaked into his room. His hair was standing off in every direction.

“Good morning. You want breakfast? Jeonghee came over and brought some pasties from the creek to celebrate yesterday's win. And she kinda wants to know what you and Y/N did. She said she wants it straight from the source.”, his voice sounded a bit rough, like he just woke up as well.

Jay groaned, tossing his phone onto the bed. “I didn’t do anything. She tagged me in a story, and now her fans are swarming my account.”

“Tell that to Jeonghee, not me.”

Reluctantly, Jay got out of bed, throwing on a hoodie before heading to the kitchen. The smell of coffee and something vaguely burnt greeted him as he entered.

Jake and Sunghoon sat slumped at the table, their heads resting on their arms. Jeonghee sat by the counter, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Morning, lover boy,” she greeted with a smirk.

Jay rolled his eyes, grabbing a mug. “Please don’t start.”

“I’m just saying,” Jeonghee began, sliding into a seat across from him, “that story went viral. Y/N’s fans are convinced you two are a thing. And honestly, from the way you were looking at her, I can’t blame them.”

Jake groaned, lifting his head slightly. “Can we talk quieter? My head feels like it’s been put through a blender.”

“Maybe don’t take shots with Sunghoon next time,” Jeonghee shot back, unimpressed.

Sunghoon raised a hand weakly. “I regret nothing.”

Jeonghee ignored him, turning her attention back to Jay. “Anyway, the engagement our posts have had in the last hours is insane. People started making edits for you.”

Jay frowned, his grip tightening on his mug. “What does that mean?”

“It means that her fans are now invested. And that she probably is too. I know from trustworthy sources that that should be the case. And I also know that if you don’t get your ass up soon someone else will.” 

“You mean Han?”, Jay raised an eyebrow. 

Sunghoon snorted, half-asleep. “Man, he is so hopeless.”

Jay shook his head. “I don’t think he has the balls to make a move on her.”

Jeonghee smirked, sipping her coffee. “I don’t think so either, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. You’ve seen how he hovers around her, Jay.”

Jay leaned back in his chair, processing her words. The thought of Han crowding you, oblivious to your lack of interest, made his jaw tighten. Especially after he knew you were not interested in Han. Maybe he was just as delusional as Han, but especially after yesterday he was sure that you had a thing for him.

Heeseung chimed in. “Look, Jay. You like her, right?”

Jay hesitated, glancing around the table at his friends. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I do.”

“Then what’s the holdup?” Heeseung asked, spreading his hands. “You’ve got an opening. Just… be honest with her.”

“Honest about what?” Jay asked, feigning ignorance. He was about to say that Heeseung was the one to speak. Before Jeonghee and Heeseung were officially together she slept over more times than Jay could count and the way Heeseung went all soft and crazy for their captain's daughter while not making a move (for almost half a season!!!) seems to be a tad worse than Jay's little crush on a random barista. 

Jeonghee rolled her eyes. “About the fact that you look at her like she’s the only person in the room. And don’t even try to deny it. I saw the way you were staring at her in that Instagram story.”

Jake snickered. “It’s painfully obvious, man.”

Sunghoon lifted his head a bit. “If it works out I want credits for being your wingman yesterday.”

Jay groaned, running a hand down his face. “You guys are the worst.”

Jeonghee grinned, unbothered. “Maybe, but we’re also right.”  

The studio was quiet, save for the faint hum of the equipment and the muted sound of the current song playing. You were reviewing your notes for your classes later in the day when your phone vibrated. You picked it up, squinting at the message.

Jay Hey, I’m outside. Do I just ring the bell, or…?

You blinked, rereading the text. Jay? Outside? You glanced at the clock. 7:02 a.m. What was he doing here? 

Y/N Huh? What do you mean?  Where are you? 

The reply came quickly.

Jay In front of the studio. I figured you’d need some coffee.  Should I ring, or can you let me in?

Your heart skipped a beat, and you scrambled to your feet. Slipping on your shoes, you hurried down the narrow hallway to the entrance. Pushing open the door, you were met with the cold morning air and Jay, holding two steaming cups of coffee, looking unfairly cute in his hoodie and a beanie pulled low over his hair.

“Morning,” he said softly, his lips curving into a small smile.

You stood there for a second, slightly stunned. “You-what are you doing here?”

“Morning practice,” he explained, holding up the coffee cups as if that explained everything. “I wanted to stop by. Thought you might need this.”

Your chest warmed, the gesture hitting you harder than you expected. “Jay, you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to,” he said simply, stepping inside as you held the door open for him.

Closing the door behind him, you led him back to the studio, sitting down by your equipment, still processing his surprise visit.

“You’re seriously the nicest person ever,” you said, taking one of the cups from him. The warmth seeped into your hands, and you cradled it gratefully. “Thank you. Really.”

Jay shrugged, leaning casually against the edge of your desk. “You’ve got a long morning ahead. Thought you could use a little pick-me-up.”

You smiled and took a sip of your latte. 

“Are you filming today?” Jay asked, noticing the camera on your desk.

“Uh, kind of,” you admitted. “But uhm don’t worry. I’ll cut you out of the vlog.”

“Oh no worries.”, he said waving into the camera.

You bit your lip, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “I just-ugh, I feel so bad about tagging you in that story. My followers were so obnoxious. I’m sorry if they bothered you.”

He shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him. “They didn’t bother me. It was kind of sweet, in a way? lt was quite an ego boost to now have more followers than Heeseung.”

You ducked your head, your cheeks burning. “Still. I felt bad.”

Jay reached out, his hand brushing yours briefly, a gesture so gentle it sent a shiver down your spine. “Don’t. It’s really not a big thing”

You glanced up at him, his warm gaze making your heart race. “If you say so.” you said softly.

For a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, the quiet of the studio wrapping around you like a cocoon.

“You should sit,” you said finally, gesturing to the chair across from yours. “Do you wanna stay for a bit?”

He smiled, settling into the seat. “Sure. I’d love to.”

Jay settled into the chair across from you, his long legs stretched out slightly. 

“So,” you began, fiddling with the edge of your notes. “Do you want to pick a song or something? I mean, since you’re here.”

Jay raised an eyebrow. “You’re asking me? Don’t you have a whole playlist planned?”

You shrugged, feeling the familiar warmth creep up your neck. “Yeah, but I can squeeze something in. It’s my show, after all.”

His smile widened, and he leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the desk. “You’re giving me creative control?”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but grin. “Don’t make me regret it. No pressure, but pick something good.”

Jay leaned forward, a thoughtful expression on his face as he tapped his fingers lightly against the coffee cup. “Can I recommend a song in Japanese?” he asked, his tone soft.

You froze mid-sip of your coffee. 

“Yes! Of course!” you said, your voice bright and eager.

His lips curled into a small smile, clearly amused by your enthusiasm. 

“Okay,” he said, pulling out his phone. “There’s this song I really likeドライフラワ by Yuuri. Do you know it?”

Your eyes widened, and you practically bounced in your seat. “Are you kidding? I love Yuuri!” you exclaimed, your hands coming together in an excited clap. “His songs are so good, and the storytelling in his music is incredible.”

Jay’s grin widened at your reaction. “Yeah, right? This one’s been stuck in my head lately. The vibes, the lyrics. It’s just so well done.”

You queued up the track immediately. As the music played, you glanced at him, a new thought crossing your mind. “How do you know Your?”

Jay rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little bashful. “Well, I’ve been studying Japanese for a while. And I love music so I started listening to japanese artists a lot.”

Your jaw dropped slightly, and you shifted in your chair to face him fully. “Wait, what? You speak Japanese?” Shit. You tried to remember if you ever spoke Japanese around him. Or well if you spoke in Japanese about him AROUND him. 

Jay chuckled, switching seamlessly into Japanese. “Well, I’m not that good, but I’m trying.”

Your face lit up, your smile so wide it practically hurt. You didn’t really get the opportunity to speak Japanese to anyone but your family that often and now Jay was speaking Japanese? “No way! You can really speak it! That’s amazing!”

He laughed softly, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. “Thanks, but I’m not that good.”

You waved a hand dismissively, shaking your head. “Not at all! You sound pretty much fluent!”

He leaned back in his seat, setting his coffee down. “Okay, full disclosure: I actually started learning Japanese because of anime. It’s a little embarrassing, but yeah… anime and a ton of subtitles.”

You blinked at him for a moment before bursting into a soft laugh. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Completely serious,” he admitted, his smile sheepish but endearing. “I’d hear a phrase, look it up, and just… kept going. Then I got hooked on the language.”

You shook your head, still laughing but with a warmth that softened the sound. “I mean, fair. I can’t even judge you because I’ve been studying Korean with K-dramas for years. I even have a little notebook where I’d write down new words while watching.”

Jay’s brows rose in amused surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah.” you said, “When my parents decided to move here, none of us could speak korean and my brothers and I started watching K-dramas together. Taki and Yudai had to suffer a lot.”

Jay’s eyes widened slightly in surprise as he processed your words. “Wait, hold up. Yudai’s your brother?” he asked again, his tone mixing disbelief with amusement.

You grinned, leaning back in your seat a little.“Yeah, Yudai’s the older one, and Taki is the younger one,” you explained. “You might also know my dad. Professor Koga?”

Jay’s eyebrows shot up even further, and he let out a low whistle. “Okay, that’s kind of crazy. I didn’t realize you were his daughter. I’ve been on the receiving end of his lectures a couple of times” He trailed off, shaking his head with a small chuckle. “He’s intense, man.”

You laughed, nodding. “Yeah, he is. Especially when it comes to his work. But when he’s at home, it’s like a totally different person. He’s a softie when it comes to family. Especially to Taki. I swear he never gets scolded for all of the shit he does.”

“I’ll have to remember that if I ever run into him again,” Jay said, looking genuinely impressed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him being anything but intense.”

“He is a great dad.”, you said softly smiling. 

You and Jay ended up talking until he was almost late for his morning training session. When Jay finally stood you found yourself reluctant to let him go.

“Thanks for stopping by,” you said as he lingered near the door.

“Thanks for letting me crash your show,” he replied, his voice light but his expression soft.

He hesitated for a moment, then leaned forward, his lips brushing lightly against your cheek. “See you later?”

You swallowed and smiled. “Yeah. See you later.” 

Later turned out to be more than a whole week later. Both of your schedules were so stuffed you couldn’t even grab lunch together. That didn’t stop you from non stop texting though. ​​It was almost ironic how, no matter how chaotic life got, the two of you always ended up crossing paths at parties.

You were minding your own business, questioning all of your life choices while you were watching your friends play drunk jenga. So far Minho had to pick a body part to kiss from the person to his left. Much to his displeasure the person to his left was Changbin who was cackling the whole time. Minho, clearly not thrilled, ended up kissing Changbin's biceps, which, in fairness, wasn't the worst fate. Beomgyu had to strip his shirt and Ryujin had to text her ex ‘I miss you’ but opted out to take the two shots of whatever alcohol they were currently drinking. You would have killed her if she would have texted Mina again. 

You decided to sit this round out. The last time you played, you had to give the person sitting opposite you a lap dance. Lucky for you, it was Lia and the two of you had been laughing the entire time. You hadn’t really known what you were doing, but judging by Chaeryoung’s enthusiastic thumbs up when you finished and the way Intak discreetly pulled a pillow onto his lap, you were pretty sure you’d at least done something right.

But today, Jay was playing too, and there was no way you were even risking the chance of giving him a lap dance. With your luck, that would’ve been your fate. 

Instead, you leaned against the sofa armrest and took the time to not so obviously stare at Jay. He looked absolutely incredible tonight. He was wearing a tight fitted black t-shirt, his arms toned arms were almost screaming your name, paired with several chains. His dark jeans were snug, outlining his legs in a way that had you biting your lip before you could stop yourself. Every time he laughed, his whole face lit up. His smile was so damn attractive it made your heart race and you weren't even tipsy yet. He caught you staring at him more than once, but you just smiled at him and gestured him to focus back on the game. Which lead to him cocking his head to the side and smirking, not breaking eye contact waiting for you to back down.

You had no idea where your newfound confidence was coming from. Maybe it was because, the first time he saw you, he looked like he had just seen a ghost. And when his eyes slowly dragged up and down the tight black mini dress you’d borrowed from Chaeryoung, his ears turned bright red. 

You stood up to get yourself another drink when you bumped into Yudai and Sakura exiting the kitchen.

"Whoa, watch where you're going!" Yudai said with a teasing grin. 

He looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow. "That’s uh, an interesting choice of outfit, huh?" He smirked, crossing his arms. "A little short, don’t you think?"

You rolled your eyes, ready to defend yourself from your brother's overprotectiveness when his girlfriend immediately jumped in: “Yudai, shut up,” she said, rolling her eyes. “She looks hot. Let her live."

Yudai scoffed, not backing down. "I’m just saying, she’s my baby sister, she shouldn’t be wearing stuff like that."

Sakura laughed, nudging Yudai. "She’s not a baby anymore.", she looked back at you, giving you an appreciative once-over. "You look amazing Y/N. You should wear dresses like that more often! It really suits you."

Yudai threw his hands up, playfully frustrated. "I’m just saying, I don't need to see my little sister looking like that."

Before you could respond, you felt a presence behind you, and Jay suddenly appeared, his hand on your elbow. You hadn’t even noticed him approaching, but now he was standing just a bit too close, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Hey, Yudai. Sakura,” Jay greeted, giving them a friendly nod before his gaze flickered down to you. “Y/N.”

Nice. Just nice. Why now Jay. He had the whole evening to approach you. Why infront of Yudai? 

You felt your cheeks flush instantly, the heat creeping up. You hoped your foundation was holding up because, knowing Sakura, she could probably see right through your flustered expression. Sure enough, she shot you a pointed look, a grin tugging at her lips. 

“The others are going outside to play a round of beer pong, do you wanna come along?”, he asked, his focus solely on you. 

You smiled at him and tried to ignore how your brother was mustering Jay. “Sure. I’ll come outside in just a second.” 

He nodded and grinned at you: “Perfect, I’ll see you there.” And then he leaned forward, giving you a chaste cheek on your cheek. Your heart stopped for a second and then started beating so fast, you were sure if someone was to watch your chest they would see the rapid movements. He nodded at Yudai and Sakura and turned around.

The moment he left, you sighed and turned back to face your brother and his girlfriend. You knew exactly what was coming next.

“Not a word,” you said, your voice flat, glaring at them both.

Yudai gave you a knowing smirk, clearly not buying it. “Oh, come on. Y/Nie.”

Sakura wasn’t helping either. She snickered, leaning closer to you with an overly sweet smile. “I didn’t know you and Jay were a thing.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you took a deep breath. “We’re just... friends.”

Yudai raised an eyebrow. “Friends, huh? You sure blush a lot for just being friends.”

Your brain scrambled for a way out of this conversation. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stammered, gesturing vaguely toward the kitchen like you might just vanish in that direction.

Sakura leaned back, her grin widening. “Please, Y/N. Don’t even try.”

Your words started coming out in a jumbled mess. "I-what-no! Stop it!” you spluttered, praying for divine intervention. Someone. Anyone. Help. “We are just friends. Jay is way out of my league. You are imagining things.” Like the kiss they just saw. Maybe you were hallucinating that? 

Sakura snorted and nudged your arm. “You are not out of his league. And, honestly, it’s obvious Jay likes you too. He kissed your cheek Y/N.” Okay, not a hallucination then. 

You whined, shaking your head. “Stop! This is so embarrassing. I’m leaving. Don’t talk to me for the rest of the day!”

Before either of them could respond, you spun on your heel and headed for the back door, determined to escape their relentless teasing. 

You found your friends pretty quickly. The hockey frats house was a bit off campus and had a gigantic yard with a pool and enough space for three beer pong tables lined next to each other. When you reached the tables you leaned into Chaeryoung, who was talking to Lia. “Please, please kill me.”

Chaeryoung laughed and petted your hair. "What's up Y/N?”

“Yudai and Sakura just saw me and Jay. I had to escape just now.”

Lia leaned in. “Why what did Jay do?”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Please don’t make me relive this. I’m already mortified. Jay kissed my cheek, Yudai went full big-brother mode, and Sakura was just egging him on, calling me out for crushing on him.”

Lia laughed, crossing her arms. “Well, to be fair, you do have a massive crush on him.”

“Not helping,” you muttered, glaring at her.

Chaeryoung shook her head, her grin widening. “You’re hopeless, Y/N.”

Before you could respond, a voice startled the three of you from behind.“Y/N! ”

Your heart skipped a beat as you turned around to look directly into Jay’s face, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a beer bottle. 

Chaeryoung raised an eyebrow, barely suppressing a laugh. “Speak of the devil.”

You shot them both a withering look but turned to make your way over. As you approached, Jay’s smile widened just slightly, his gaze softening.

“Would you like to play against Hee and Jake?” he asked, his tone light.

You nodded, trying to play it cool despite the way your heart was racing. “Sure. But if we lose, it’s all your fault.”

Jay chuckled, stepping aside to let you take your spot by the table. “Deal. We’re not going to lose.”

The two of you slipped into an easy rhythm. By the time you sank the last shot, your opponents were groaning in defeat, and Jay gave you a triumphant high-five.

“Told you,” he said, grinning. “We make a great team.”

You laughed, brushing your hair out of your face. “I never denied that. You are actually not terrible at this.”

Jay tilted his head, mock-offended. “Not terrible? That’s the best compliment I’m getting?”

“Take it or leave it,” you teased, your smile widening.

After the game, the two of you decided to take a break, grabbing fresh drinks before finding a quiet spot to just relax for a second.

The two settled onto a bench near the pool, pulling your jacket tighter around yourself as you glanced at the scene in front of you. Jay sat down beside you, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body beside you. 

You tilted your head back to look at the stars, the coolness of the evening air brushing against your face. You could hear Jay breathing beside you, and after a moment, he turned his head slightly to look at you. You turned to meet his eyes.

“I’m glad we’re out here,” you said quietly, your voice almost lost in the breeze. “It’s nice.”

Jay nodded, his lips curling into a small smile. “Yeah, it’s a lot better than being stuck inside.”

You laughed softly, leaning your head against his shoulder. You closed your eyes for a second, just letting the calmness of the evening settle over you. You had morning classes and a hosting session behind you, and the exhaustion was finally catching up.

After a moment, Jay shifted slightly, his voice low. “How drunk are you?”

“Just a bit tipsy,” you admitted with a soft chuckle. “Not nearly as tipsy as last time though. Don’t worry.”

“Mhm you were pretty cute last week. I am not sure how you were handling the amount of shots you had that well, but Jake was feeling way worse than you did.”, he chuckled.

You blushed a bit as you turned to him, the soft glow of the pool lights reflecting in his eyes.

 “Well, Jake’s a lightweight,” you said with a playful shrug. “But I’m also not usually one to go that hard. Guess I just felt comfortable last time.”

Jay’s smile widened. “Comfortable, huh?”

You laughed softly, nudging his shoulder. “Maybe. Don’t let it go to your head.”

He tilted his head, studying you for a moment. “I won’t, but. I’m glad. I want you to feel comfortable with me.”

You glanced down at your hands, fiddling with the hem of your dress, before daring to meet his gaze again. “I do. You make it easy.”

His eyes softened. “Good. That means a lot to me.”

Jay’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, his expression thoughtful and gentle. The soft glow of the pool lights danced in his eyes, and you felt your heart thrum in your chest like a drumbeat you couldn’t control.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You turned to him, tilting your head slightly. “Yeah?”

He hesitated.“Can I ask you something?”

You nodded. “Of course. Shoot.”

Jay’s lips curled into a soft smile, and he leaned just a fraction closer, his voice low and steady. “Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

Your cheeks warmed, your heart racing as his question settled over you. You nodded slowly, not trusting your voice.

Jay smiled, a small, relieved exhale escaping him. He lifted his hand, the touch of his fingers feather-light as they brushed your cheek, tilting your face gently toward him. He leaned in, his movements slow, giving you every chance to pull away. You didn’t. 

Your heart was pounding in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears. You couldn’t bring yourself to close your eyes, afraid that if you did, he would disappear in front of your eyes.

Jay’s gaze searched yours for another heartbeat before his lips finally met yours. 

His lips were warm, soft, and faintly flavored with the Malibu you’d both stolen earlier. You sighed into the kiss, your hand sliding up his back, your fingers threading through the strands of his hair. He shivered under your touch, and the quiet sound he made against your lips sent a thrill down your spine.

Jay’s hand cradled your face, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone as the kiss deepened. He angled his head slightly, his lips parting just enough for his tongue to brush against yours in a tentative, teasing motion. The sensation sent a wave of heat through you, and you instinctively leaned closer, your grip tightening in his hair as his free hand slid to your waist, pulling you flush against him.

The kiss grew bolder, his lips molding perfectly to yours as his tongue explored in slow, deliberate movements that left you breathless. You let out a soft, involuntary sigh, and he answered with a low hum that you felt resonate through your chest.

When you both finally pulled back his forehead came to rest against yours, both of you catching your breath. His eyes fluttered open, warm and dark in the soft glow of the party lights.

Jay broke the silence, his voice a whisper. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

Your lips curled into a soft smile, your forehead still pressed to his. “Me too,” you murmured, your voice barely above a breath. You carefully leaned forward again, reconnecting your lips. He hummed into the kiss and pulled you into his lap, but before anything else could happen a sharp voice rang out behind you, starling the both of you: “Y/N?”

You and Jay jumped apart, nearly tumbling off the bench as you scrambled to straighten up. You turned quickly, your breath caught in your throat. Standing there, a little unsteady on his feet, was Han. His face was flushed, his expression angry.

“Han?” you said cautiously.

Han’s gaze flicked from you to Jay, narrowing in irritation. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded, his voice louder than you are used to.

Jay stood up, his posture stiffening, concern flashing across his face.

"Han," you started, trying to steady your voice, “calm down please.”

But Han didn’t listen. His chest heaved with every breath, his eyes locked onto Jay with nothing but fury. “Don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing, Jay. You think she’s just some game to you?” Han’s voice cracked, but he didn’t stop. "You have no right to mess with her like this."

You watched as Jay instinctively stepped in front of you, his posture defensive. His eyes remained locked on Han, while his hands reached out to push you further behind his body.

"Stay the hell away from her!" Han barked, his voice full of venom. “You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew I—” He hesitated for just a moment, then his eyes flared. “You knew I liked her. And you still just swooped in, didn't you? You think you can have everything, right?”

What? 

The words hung in the air, sharp and cutting. Your chest tightened. 

He came closer to the two of you, stumbling a bit. “You think you are better than me, Jay? You think you can just come in and convince her to like you?”

Han liked you. 

Your throat was closing up and your mind started reeling.  Han, your best friend, the one person who had been there for you through thick and thin, the person who always understood you in ways no one else did, he had feelings for you. Feelings that went beyond friendship. 

“Han, stop! You- you don’t mean all of this” you finally managed, your voice shaky but loud enough to be heard. "You’re drunk, and you need to calm down."

But Han didn’t listen. His glare that until just now was firmly on Jay, wandered to you. 

“And now you’re defending him?” Han sneered, his tone laced with contempt. “Look at you, Y/N. All you ever wanted was a chance to get close to him. You're so desperate to get into his world that you'll let him use you. You think I don’t see it?”

Your stomach dropped. You couldn't understand what was happening, but before you could even think of something to say he already continued.

“Jay's nothing but a rich kid with a pretty face and you’re just another one of his stupid stories,” Han spat, shaking his head as if the sight of you hurt him. "You’re wearing that dress for him, aren’t you? You want him to notice you, to think you’re hot.”

The words hit like a punch, leaving you breathless, your chest tightening in hurt. How could he say that? How could he turn on you like this, after everything you’d shared? It felt like he was ripping apart everything you’d ever believed in.  It was too much. You could feel the tears starting to sting your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. You were too angry, too confused, too hurt.

Jay stepped forward then, his jaw tight with anger. “Don’t talk to her like that,” he said, his voice low but filled with authority. “You’re completely out of line, Han.”

But Han wasn’t backing down. His eyes flickered between you and Jay, a mix of anger, betrayal, and something else you couldn’t even begin to understand. As Han’s words continued to lash out, it felt like they were pushing you farther away from him with every sentence. His anger was a torrent, and you were caught in the middle of it, struggling to catch your breath.

“You’re better than this, Y/N!” Han shouted, voice cracking with emotion, and his eyes locked on you, filled with something you couldn't place. “I am so disappointed in you.”

You blinked and took a step backwards. Disappointed? Why was he disappointed in you? Was he angry because you had feelings for someone else? Because you were making your own choices?

“Enough, Han,” Jay said, his voice steady. “You need to stop.”

But Han didn’t respond. He just stared at you, his eyes filled with something unreadable, and in that moment, you knew that no matter what you said now, nothing would change what had just happened.

“Do you think this is worth it?” Han spat, his hands trembling with barely contained rage. “You’re worth more than this. More than him. You’re better than this whole situation, and I don’t get why you’re throwing yourself into it like this!”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could find the words, Jay’s hand slid into yours, gently but firmly intertwining your fingers.  Han’s eyes snapped to Jay’s hand, his jaw clenching, his entire posture bracing as if he were about to snap. For a brief, heart-stopping second, you thought he might lash out, his anger bubbling over into something physical. But before anything else could happen you heard the sound of heavy footsteps and within moments, Minho and Bang Chan appeared, their eyes quickly scanning the situation. They took in the scene: Han standing there, furious and shaking with rage, Jay essentially hiding you behind his back, your hands intertwined. Minho didn’t hesitate for a second. His eyes locked onto Han, his voice calm but sharp. “Jisung. Enough.”

Bang Chan stepped forward too. “You need to back off. This isn’t the time for this.”

Han turned towards them, fists clenched, his breath ragged as he fought to keep his composure. His eyes darted between Minho and Jay, but neither of them flinched. They were standing firm, not backing down.

“You’re not helping, Minho,” Han spat, his voice low but seething with anger. “You don’t know what’s going on here. You don’t understand how much this matters.”

Minho took a step closer, not intimidated by Han’s rage. “I have heard enough Jisung. You are crossing a line.”

Han’s gaze shifted back to you, his expression flickering between frustration and something else. Something that looked like regret.

“You deserve so much more than this, Y/N. You deserve better than him,” he repeated, his voice quieter now, but still tinged with raw emotion.

You shook your head slowly, trying to make sense of his words. “No, Han,” you whispered, your voice wavering but firm. “You’re wrong. You don’t get to tell me what I deserve or who I should be with.”

Han opened his mouth to argue, but Minho stepped in again, his voice cutting through the tension. “This needs to stop, now.”

With that, Han’s shoulders slumped, his anger finally giving way to exhaustion. He looked defeated. Your heart ached for him. You loved Han. Just not the way he did. 

Bang Chan nodded to Jay, signaling for him to take a step back with you. Jay’s grip on your hand tightened just slightly as he gave your hand a gentle tug.

Before either of you could get too far, Minho spoke again, his voice softer now. “Go. We’ll handle this.”

Jay didn’t hesitate, pulling you along with him, away from the confrontation. You didn’t look back at Han. You couldn’t. Not now, not after everything that had been said. The two of you walked quickly. Jay’s hand tightened around yours as he glanced back at you. Your mind was reeling and you felt a mix of emotions, from anger to confusion to sadness, and you couldn’t figure out how to make sense of any of it. Jay led you out of the party, walking past your friends and towards the main door. 

Once you finally reached a quiet spot away from the house, you stopped, trying to catch your breath. You pulled your hand from Jay’s and looked up into the sky, trying to stop your tears and pressing your lips into a thin line to stop them from wobbling.

“I’m so sorry about all of this,” Jay said quietly, his voice filled with regret.

You barely nodded, too shaken to speak, and when you finally looked at Jay the tears that you had been holding back spilled over, and you could feel them streaking down your face as your chest tightened. “I trusted him,” you whispered to Jay. “I thought he is my best friend. How could he say that to me?”

Jay stepped closer, his thumb brushing your cheek, wiping away a tear. "I’m sorry you had to deal with that. You didn’t deserve any of it."

You let out a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. That only resulted in your tears coming harder now. How could Han say that? You couldn’t stop asking yourself that question.

“I just... I don’t understand,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “He’s my best friend, Jay. He’s always been there for me, and now he’s... he’s saying these things. Like I’m some-” You choked on your words, the hurt too much to contain.

Jay’s hand stayed on your cheek, his thumb gently brushing over the skin. 

“He’s just angry and confused,” he said softly, his voice calm. “But that doesn’t excuse what he said. And it doesn’t change what you mean to me.” His eyes met yours, a steady, reassuring gaze. "You are so pretty, so clever, so kind. I can’t take my eyes off of you whenever I see you. I love hearing your laugh, I love to see you laugh. And I know you feel at least somewhat similar to how i feel about me. And you are not using me for anything."

The sincerity in his words caught you off guard, and for a moment, you just stood there, staring at him.

He continued, his gaze not wavering, “You’re so strong, and passionate. You care so much about the people in your life.”

“Why does this have to be so complicated?” you muttered under your breath, more to yourself than anyone else.

Jay’s lips parted, but before he could say anything, you found yourself stepping forward, your body instinctively seeking his closeness. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a gentle embrace, and you felt a small weight lift from your chest as his warmth surrounded you. 

“It’s not your fault, Y/N,” Jay whispered against your hair, his voice soft and soothing. “Don’t blame yourself for this. Han’s confused, and drunk.”

Your tears slowed. You nodded against his chest, letting yourself just breathe, allowing the silence to envelop you for a moment longer.

After a few moments, Jay pulled back slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders as he looked into your eyes. “Do you want to go back inside, or do you need a little more time?”

You hesitated, glancing back toward the house. The sounds of the party still buzzed in the distance. You didn’t know what to do with all of the emotions swirling inside, but you knew one thing: You didn’t want to face Han again right now.

“I think I want to go home,” you said softly, your voice steadying just a little bit. 

Jay gave you a small, comforting smile, his hands still resting on your arms. “Let’s get you home Y/N.”

The walk to your flat was slow and silent. When you reached your apartment, you unlocked the door and stepped inside. Jay followed you, crouching down to greet Gracie. 

Wordlessly, you made your way to the living room, sinking down onto the couch. You pressed the palms of your hands into your face, letting out a long, shaky breath.

Jay didn’t follow you, but walked into the kitchen. He came to the living room, sitting down beside you on the couch.

 “Here,” he said gently, handing you the glass. “You should drink something.”

You took the glass with a nod, sipping slowly. The cool water felt good against your dry throat, and for a moment, you let the quietness between the two of you settle.

Jay’s voice broke the silence after a while, soft and coaxing. “Hey, maybe you should get ready for bed? You’ve had a long day.”

You met his gaze for a moment, then looked down. “Yeah, you’re right,” you said quietly, setting the empty glass down on the table.

“I’ll wait here,” Jay said with a small smile, petting Gracie, who had curled up next to him, “Take your time.”

You gave him a brief nod and walked toward the bathroom. The sound of the water running as you washed your face was a small, soothing comfort as you tried to shake off the lingering tension in your body. When you finished washing your face, you slipped Chaeyoungs dress over your head, tossing it into a corner and grabbing your pajama. 

When you emerged from the bathroom, Jay was still sitting on the couch, Gracie snuggled up beside him. You felt a small flicker of warmth in your chest at the sight of them. You walked over and sat down next to him, letting out a soft sigh as you settled your head onto his shoulder.

Jay looked down at you, a faint smile on his lips. "You okay?"

You didn’t respond immediately, just nestled in closer, closing your eyes for a moment.

After a few seconds, you spoke, your voice soft. “Stay, Jay. Please.”

His hand rested on top of yours. “I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

With that you felt another tear rolling down your cheek and your breath started hitching. You buried your face in Jays shoulder and he maneuvered you into his lap, carefully caressing your back but not saying anything. He let you just silently cry for a while.

After a long moment, his voice broke the stillness, soft and careful. “Do you want to go to bed?”

You nodded, still resting your head on his chest.  He didn’t rush you, just helped you gently up from the couch, guiding you with a tenderness that made your chest ache a little less.

When you reached your bedroom, Jay watched you as you wiped away the last of your tears, your skin still flushed. You stepped forward, pulling a set of clothes from a drawer. “Here,” you said quietly, holding them out to him. “These should be more comfortable.”

Jay accepted the clothes with a quiet nod. "Thanks," he murmured.

A small laugh escaped you as you sniffled. “It’s Niki’s,” you explained with a weak smile. “But he’s at least two meters tall, so I think you’ll fit in it just fine. Taki and he love to crash here so they have their own drawer.”

Jay chuckled softly, the sound soothing to your frazzled mind. 

You watched him as he turned toward the bathroom to change. When he returned, you couldn’t help but smile softly at the sight of him in the oversized PJs.

You both settled into the bed, Jay sliding in beside you carefully, keeping a respectful distance. You moved closer to him and put your head onto his chest. His arm gently wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer.  You could hear his steady breathing, feel the calmness in the air, and it lulled you in. Slowly, the tension in your body started to loosen. His steady presence next to you, the soft caresses in your hair, and the rhythm of his breathing were enough to quiet the storm inside your head. You let your eyes flutter shut.

The soft morning light filtered through the beige curtains in your bedroom, casting a gentle glow over the room. Jay blinked awake slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. 

You slightly shifted in your sleep, still tucked close to him, your head resting on his chest, your legs tangled with his. Your steady breaths warmed the fabric of his shirt. To his side, Gracie purred quietly, curled into the space between his ribs and one of the pillows on your bed. Jay absently rubbed a hand over her fur as his mind wandered back to the night before.

What the hell had happened?

Han’s voice echoed in his head, sharp and angry. Jay could still see the hurt in your eyes, the way your voice had cracked when you told him you trusted Han. He hated that you’d been put in that position, hated that someone who was supposed to care about you had caused you so much pain.

Jay let out a quiet breath, careful not to disturb you. Gently, he shifted beneath you, and though you stirred slightly again, your fingers clinging to his shirt for a moment, you didn’t wake up. He took a second to study you. Your hair was spread like a halo across the pillow, the soft curls from the evening before now almost completely gone. Jay’s fingers brushed softly over your cheek. His heart ached at the slight puffiness around your eyes.  His stomach growled softly, snapping him out of the moment. Slowly, he slipped out of bed, pausing to make sure he didn’t wake you up. You shifted slightly in your sleep, but the soft rise and fall of your chest remained steady. Jay watched for a moment longer before heading out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

He walked into the living room, taking in the quiet stillness of your space. Your jackets were still haphazardly thrown over the back of the sofa. Jay reached out, carefully hanging them back up by the door before moving to the coffee table to pick up the empty glass of water you’d left behind. He glanced down at his phone, still resting on the sofa cushion.

He sighed, unlocking it to find a barrage of messages waiting for him. 

Puckin’ Legends and Sunghoon Heeseung hyung Did you get home okay? Jake Is Y/N alright? Jonghee told us what happened  Hoon Dude, answer us.  I am starting to get really worried Jay Y/N is sleeping right now Fucking hell I’ll update you when i am home later

There were also messages from Chaeryoung and several of your friends, asking similar questions. He hesitated, his thumb hovering over the screen.

He decided to at least answer Chaeryoung, telling her that you were okay right now and that she should call you later.

He stared at the messages from Felix. 

Felix (DA swim) Jay i am so sorry for what happened yesterday We lost Han and he found the two of you before we did I know you went home with Y/N Please take care of her. She is going to pretend everything is fine. Don’t let her. Make her talk to you, please. I'll make sure Han won’t text her, tell her to take all the time she needs. And for the record, i am really happy for the two of you. 

After a moment’s deliberation, he decided against responding for now, slipping his phone into his pocket and heading into the kitchen.

Jay stood in front of your fridge, scanning its content for something useful. He found eggs, a few vegetables and some microwavable rice. It wasn’t much to work with, but it would do. He reached for a chopping board and a frying pan, deciding on egg fried rice.

The rhythmic sound of the knife against the cutting board was oddly calming. After a while he heard your bedroom door creaking open quietly and the soft shuffle of feet behind him.

Jay turned slightly, but before he could say anything, you pressed your face into the space between his shoulders, your arms sliding around his waist. He froze for a second but let his body relax, molding into your hug. He rested his hands over yours where they curled against his stomach. “Morning,” he murmured, tilting his head slightly to look at you.

“Morning,” you mumbled, your voice muffled against him.

“Did I wake you?” he asked, his voice soft.

You shook your head, or well moved your head in something that felt like a shake of your head against his back. “No,” you murmured

Jay hummed and resumed chopping vegetables, the soft thud of the knife against the cutting board filling the stillness of the kitchen. Your arms stayed loosely wrapped around him, your forehead resting between his shoulder blades. 

A soft meow broke the stillness, drawing both of your gazes toward the kitchen doorway. Gracie padded into the kitchen, stretching lazily before meowing at the cabinet where her food was kept. You rubbed at your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie before moving to get her some food, your movements slow and unhurried. If it wasn’t for what happened yesterday, Jay would have loved the domestic atmosphere of the situation. 

He glanced at you as you moved to the cabinet. You’d changed into an oversized hoodie with the initials DA Swimming Team printed across the back. It hung loosely on you, the sleeves slightly too long. As you crouched to pour Gracie’s food, Jay’s thoughts drifted. Maybe he should text Yudai. He didn’t really know what to say, but you seemed to be quite close to your brothers so their comfort may be better than anything he could give you. 

Your phone started buzzing from the sofa table, faint and insistent you seemed to not hear it. 

Jay hesitated. “Your phone’s going off,” he said softly, glancing toward the living room.

“Ignore it,” you replied, your voice quiet and flat. You poured a glass of water, sipping it slowly as your gaze lingered on the counter.

Jay didn’t press. He turned back to the stove, stirring the rice and vegetables. Normally, cooking brought him a kind of peace, but now, every sound, the sizzle of the pan, the scrape of the spoon, felt too loud. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you walking towards the living room, shutting off your alarm. He wanted to say something, anything, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he finished cooking in silence, the aroma of fried rice filling the room. You wordlessly started decking the table while Jay slid the food onto plates.

As you sat down across from him, the silence lingered. Neither of you had the energy to fill it, and for now, that was okay. Jay would wait. For now, he’d let you have the space you needed, even if it meant sitting across from each other in silence.

Jay left when it was already dark. The two of you spend the rest of the day curled up in your bed watching Howl's moving castle, eating the leftover fried rice from your breakfast.  He was so soft and caring all day and you felt so bad for making him do all of this. You didn’t want to seem like a charity case he had to care for. 

You rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling. Your thoughts wandered back to the last 24 hours. How could everything have gone so wrong. One moment you were kissing Jay, his lips so soft and gentle on yours and the next your childhood best friend accuses you of essentially being a puck bunny after he confessed and you didn't reciprocate his feelings? And then he dared to claim he was disappointed in you? 

You sighed again, louder this time, and threw yourself back against the pillow, your arms flung wide. Why did it have to be so hard?  You reached for your phone, ignoring all of your notifications that accumulated over the day. You unlocked it and typed a quick message to Jaemin. 

Can you take over my shift at the café tomorrow? I am not feeling too well :( 

You hesitated for a moment before hitting send, then set the phone aside and buried your face in the pillow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, you will deal with it all. 

You were good at pretending.

Or at least, you were trying to be.

After you took a day for yourself, not leaving bed and only replying to Chae, Jay and your brothers you decided to get back on track. 

You went to the station, delivered your segments with faked enthusiasm, your voice steady even when your hands trembled.

You went to your classes, tried to pay attention, tried to focus on the words the professors were saying. 

You went to the creek, smiled and served customers.

You even stayed on track with your usual posting schedule, posting a book review about a childhood friends-to-lovers book. It was ironic, really.

Almost two weeks have passed since the party and your backlog of pre-recorded videos was running dry. You haven’t had the motivation to film anything, your latest update on any social media platform being that book review from a week ago. 

You clicked "publish" for your last pre recorded and cut video, a monthly recap vlog and sighed. 

You were exhausted. It was easier to keep moving, to keep working, than to face the truth. You couldn’t afford to stop, to let everything sink in. You needed to act like nothing had changed.

Around your friends, you acted like nothing had changed. You smiled through your shifts at the café, laughed at jokes you didn’t find funny, and acted like everything was alright. They asked how you were doing, and you gave them your best reassuring smile.

You don’t think they believed a single word you said. They knew something was off. Obviously. You haven’t seen Han since that night, but you know that Felix was taking care of him. You knew that Jay was giving him updates on how you were feeling. Felix and the others tried to reach out, telling you that they were sorry, they didn’t stop, telling you to not feel bad, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer them. Not yet.

You loved spending time with Jay. 

His schedule was always packed with practices and games, but whenever he had a free moment, Jay would find a way to drop by the café or send you a quick text asking if you wanted to grab a bite. It was never anything extravagant, just small, quiet moments together between his and your hectic schedule. 

You hadn’t really talked about what you were or where things stood between the two of you. It was an unspoken thing that hung between you, something both of you hadn’t fully addressed. But you weren’t in any rush. In a way, it felt comfortable this way. No pressure, no expectations. Just being around each other when you could, enjoying the small, sweet moments without overthinking it. You liked it. You liked him. Maybe it wasn’t official, and maybe you didn’t have all the answers, but for now, that was okay. You were content with how things were, with how he made you feel. You started to get more comfortable around the rink too. Sometimes, after his practices, Jay would invite you to watch his team scrimmage or just hang out in the stands while the guys warmed up. You still didn’t know much about hockey, but that didn’t matter. You were just enjoying your time in the rink, away from all of the chaos. You grew quite close to Jeonghee, the social media manager of the team, since you spend a lot of time in her office. You taught her quite a few handy tips and tricks for editing videos and she claims that you were the best thing that happened to the hockey team. She invited you over to Jays flat more often than he did himself, claiming she needed some female support when dealing with her boyfriend and his roommates, which includes your (almost?) boyfriend, aswell. 

It was almost like a ritual. You’d sit in the stands talking or recording something with Jonghee, him glancing over to see you there between drills, his eyes lighting up when he caught your gaze. And afterward, the two would end up in either your or his apartment. 

Jay stood under the hot stream of water, the pressure of it soothing his tired muscles. His mind raced in a whirl of thoughts. His coach was relentless the past few training sessions, always pushing him and his teammates to the limit, after they lost the last two games. They had to win the game against Merrimak today. They had to. 

He signed and finished his shower a few minutes after, grabbing a towel to dry himself. As he did, he noticed his toiletries, his shampoo, conditioner, and a few other things, scattered neatly around your bathroom. He smiled softly to himself. 

He walked back into the bedroom, wearing a new set of boxers and nothing else. You were still asleep on your bed, your soft breathing barely audible in the quiet room. He reached out, running his fingers lightly across your cheek, brushing aside a few stray strands of hair that had fallen across your face. Jay stayed there for a moment, just watching you.

He loved being with you, more than he could put into words. He loved your little quirks and habits, he loved the way he felt when he spend time with you, how well you fitted in with his friends. But he couldn’t help the weight that settled in his chest every time he thought about how things had unfolded. He hated the circumstances that had led to this, the fight with Han, the fallout, the awkward silences and lingering tension between you and your friends. It wasn’t how he wanted this to start.

His jaw clenched as he thought about Han. He knew his anger wasn’t entirely fair, feelings weren’t something you could control, but that didn’t stop him from resenting the way Han had approached everything. Confessing to you like that, knowing you didn’t feel the same, had set off a chain of events that neither of you deserved.

You stirred slightly, your face scrunching up in that adorable way it always did when you were just waking up. Jay smiled down at you, his hand cupping your cheek gently.

As your eyes fluttered open, he whispered, “Morning.”

Jay couldn’t resist leaning down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His lips lingered for a moment before he pulled back slightly, his gaze tracing the features of your face as you slowly woke. You looked up at him, your eyes soft and a little dazed, and his heart stuttered in his chest.

He leaned in again, this time capturing your lips in a slow kiss. The softness of your lips against his was enough to make his head spin. When you responded, by pulling him closer with a hand on his shoulder, he let out a quiet, satisfied hum, his hand slipping from your cheek to your waist.

The oversized shirt you wore had ridden up slightly, and the feel of your bare skin under his fingertips made his pulse quicken. His lips moved against yours with a growing intensity, and when you sighed softly into the kiss, he felt heat pool low in his stomach.

Your cold fingers trailed along his still damp chest and he couldn’t suppress the sharp inhale that followed. The sensation sent shivers racing down his spine, and he instinctively shifted closer, deepening the kiss. As you arched into him, your hips brushing against his in a way that made his breath hitch, Jay felt his self-control slipping.

He broke the kiss just enough to lay you back gently against the bed, hovering above you as his lips found your jawline. He pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck, savoring the way you shivered beneath him.

“Jay…” you breathed, his name leaving your lips in a way that made every nerve in his body hum.

“Yeah?” he whispered, his voice low and rough as his hand slid up your thigh, his palm pressing lightly against your skin before settling at your hip.

You didn’t answer, instead pulling him back to you, capturing his lips with yours.

Your hand trailed up to the nape of his neck, tangling in his damp hair, slightly pulling at the strands. He groaned softly, the sound vibrating between you as his hand slid beneath the hem of your shirt, brushing along your side. You whined against his lips, your hips bucking up slightly, meeting his crotch. The sensation sent a rush of heat through him, and his grip on your waist tightened instinctively. His lips trailed back to your neck, where he left slow, lingering kisses, savoring the soft gasps that escaped you.

As his hand drifted higher beneath your shirt, his fingers tracing the edge of your ribs, his alarm cut through the quiet, shrill and unrelenting.

Jay froze, his forehead dropping to your shoulder with a groan of frustration. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, reaching over to silence it with an annoyed swipe.

You laughed softly, your chest still rising and falling rapidly against his. He looked down at you, the sight of your flushed face and swollen lips making it almost impossible to pull away.

He leaned in to kiss you again, softer this time.

“We’ll pick this up later,” he murmured, his voice rough and low, before reluctantly rolling away, the lingering warmth of your body making him already crave more.

Every fiber of him wanted to stay, feel your lips on his, feel your body on his. But he also really didn’t want to be late for a game day. CC was already mad at him. He didn’t know for what, probably for breathing too loud into his direction or something similarly trivial. He was still praying for Heeseung, having CC as his, well almost, father in law seemed like hell. 

Jay stood up with a sigh, running a hand through his damp hair. He moved toward his bag, which rested against the side of the bed, fishing out a fresh T-shirt for the day. His frustration deepened as his body refused to cooperate with his rational thoughts. The heat of your kiss, the way you’d clung to him, your soft gasps, all of it played on a loop in his mind, making it nearly impossible to focus. He clenched his jaw, trying to will his body into submission. Hockey drills.  Push-ups.  Coach Choi yelling about bad passes.  Just Coach Choi.  Maybe Coach Choi naked?

He bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head slightly as he grabbed his jeans.Trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of restricting his hard on.

“What the hell,” you muttered, the confusion in your tone pulling his attention instantly.

Jay watched as the confusion on your face morphed into a frown, your lips pressing into a thin line.

“Y/N?” he asked softly.

Your frown deepened as you scrolled through your notifications. “I…I don’t know what happened. It’s…they… the comments.” you said quietly.

Jay’s jaw tightened as he leaned over to glance at your screen. Comment after comment, calling you a slut, a gold digger, and worse. “The fuck…” he muttered under his breath. His heart pounded in his chest, and he could feel the heat rising in his neck. His eyes scanned the hateful remarks, his stomach sinking with every word he saw.

“He could’ve had anyone, but he chose a girl like that? I can’t believe he’s that dumb. Jay deserves better than her, honestly.”“He deserves better than this. Just look at her.”“Stay away from my man, you’re ruining his image.”

"What does Jay even see in her? She’s not even pretty enough to be with someone like him."

"She’s not even his type. It’s obvious she’s just using him for clout."

His breath quickened as his gaze flicked back to you. Your face was pale, your eyes wide with confusion and shock. His earlier frustration from the alarm morphed into pure, unfiltered anger. His hands clenched at his sides.

You flipped between your accounts, your fingers trembling. "What the hell is wrong with people?" You muttered, scrolling past endless hate, barely acknowledging the kind comments that were hidden beneath the sea of hate.

Without thinking, he reached for your phone, gently but firmly taking it from your hands. His jaw clenched harder, his pulse hammering in his ears. He set it down on the bed, his heart aching as he looked at you and cupped your face in his hands. “Hey,” he said softly, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks. “Don’t look at it.” 

“Shit,” you muttered, biting your lip in frustration. “Why are they doing this, Jay? How do they even know about us?” You sighed deeply, your shoulders slumping. “I am so sorry Jay. I never wanted to drag you into the mess my life is. This is all my fault”

“No, it’s not,” he said firmly, his voice steady. “This is on them, not you. Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do.”, he paused for a second, “You didn’t drag me into anything, Y/N,” he said softly, his gaze unwavering. “I’m here because I want to be. This is on me too.”

Your lips quivered as you met his eyes. “But they’re saying such horrible things. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” Jay felt a wave of frustration rise in him, but he held it back, focusing instead on reassuring her. “Y/N, listen to me. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. People hate on any and everything.” “I know,” you whispered, still trying to hold yourself together. “But they’re everywhere. And some of them are even saying stuff about your career.” Jay took a deep breath, his expression softening. He gently tilted your head so your gazes locked, his thumb brushing the skin under your eyes. “Y/N,” he said, his voice serious, “I don’t care. I am signed with the eagles. If I call Namjoon he will for sure understand that you have done nothing to deserve this and there won’t be any consequences. Don’t worry about me.” You sighed deeply, sitting up as you glanced at him, your face pale. “I should’ve been more careful with what I posted.” you said softly, your voice laced with regret.  “You should turn off your comments on your posts. Or privatize them. It’s just... it’s too much. You don’t need this.” “Y/N,” he murmured, his voice low but firm, “I won’t delete any pictures. I’m proud of them. Proud of us. I’m happy to have you here, with me. You don’t need to apologize for any of this.” You opened your mouth to argue, but he stopped you by leaning in and pressing his lips softly against yours. You stiffened for a second, then melted into it, your hands sliding to his shoulders as you kissed him back.

When you broke apart, he held you close, his hands still gently cradling your face. “I won’t delete them, Y/N,” he repeated, his voice steady. You held your breath for a second, considering his words. “But they’re... they’re being so cruel.” “They don’t matter,” he said firmly, kissing your forehead before standing up. “They can say whatever they want. I like you Y/N. Hell I even might love you. I love being there for you.  And if that means dealing with some crap along the way? So be it. I’m not going anywhere.” You didn’t say anything for a moment, your eyes searching his face. And then, finally, you nodded, your shoulders relaxing a little. Oh lord.  He said the L word.  Or well almost.  A month after the two of you started dating. His heart was racing waiting for your answer.  “Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll try. I just don’t want to hurt you.” “You’re not,” he said, smiling softly. “You’re not hurting me, Y/N. I’ll handle it. We’ll handle it.”  His heart clenched when you didn’t say it back. But it was fine. He also didn’t really say ‘i love you’. If he was going to say those three words he will do it properly.  You gave him a small, grateful smile before looking down at your phone again. “I’ll turn off my notifications,” you said quietly, tapping the screen to go into your settings. He hummed and pressed a kiss onto your head again. “Turn your phone off completely.I’ll think of a way to deal with this.” You sniffed and followed his instructions, turning your phone off.  “I’ll see you when I get back, okay baby?” he said, grabbing his bag and heading for the door. You nodded, your eyes following him with a mixture of longing and sadness. “Okay,” you whispered, “Go kick Riverfields arse.” He smiled. “Of course.” 

Jay’s fingers tightened around his phone as he scrolled through a flood of notifications, his stomach sinking with every word he saw. His vision blurred slightly, not from the tears threatening to rise, but from the sheer intensity of the anger and frustration that kept bubbling up with each new comment. He figured out the hate came from his “fans”. Disliking him having a girlfriend. Apparently that gave them the right to hate on you and him as well, commenting on his recent instagram photo dump about how he should not be with you, how you are just together with him for his fame.  He scrolled to the top of his instagram account page. 26.515 followers.  Most of them only followed him after you posted pictures tagging him.  The worst part? It wasn’t just his account. It was spilling over onto his father’s business page too. His blood ran cold as he read the comments infecting the companies page and his fathers personal account as well. Why drag his family into this? He hadn’t even had the chance to tell his parents personally that he was seeing you seriously. He ran a hand through his hair, his chest tightening.  “Yo, Jay.” Jake nudged his arm from the seat next to him, lowering his voice to avoid catching the attention of the others. “You good, man? You’ve been glued to your phone the whole ride.” Jay forced a tight smile, barely looking up. “I’m fine. Just dealing with some… stuff.” Jake frowned, unconvinced, but nodded, deciding to drop it for now. “Alright. Can you forget about that stuff when we are on the ice later? We need you focused." “Yeah. Sure.” Jay muttered, already zoning out again. The bus pulled into the rink parking lot, and as the team shuffled off, Jay hung back, letting everyone else move ahead while he stayed by the bus for a moment. He glanced at his phone one last time, taking a deep breath before dialing his dad’s number.

“Son,” his dad’s familiar voice greeted him, warm but gentle, like always. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on the game right now? Your mom and I are trying to watch a live stream of it later.” Jay hesitated, his grip on the phone tightening. “Yeah, I know. I just… I need to talk to you about something first." There was a pause on the other end. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?” Jay let out a slow breath, his free hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “Sort of. It’s about… someone." “Someone?” his dad asked, the slightest note of curiosity creeping into his voice. “Go on.” “There’s this girl,” Jay began, the words awkward and halting as he tried to piece them together. “Her name’s Y/N, and we’ve been… seeing each other. It’s been a little while now. She’s amazing, Dad. She’s smart, kind, funny. There was a pause on the other end before his dad’s voice returned, calm but kind. “I see. That’s lovely, Jay. And you’re calling me because…?”

Jay leaned against the side of the bus, staring down at the asphalt. “Because people found out. She’s a content creator. She makes videos, book reviews, vlogs stuff like that. She’s got a big following, but… I guess some people who follow me don’t like the idea of us being together. And now, they’re tearing her apart online. She’s getting all this hate, Dad, and it’s… it’s bad. Even the company’s socials are getting hit because of me.” His dad let out a soft sigh, and Jay could picture him leaning back in his chair, likely pinching the bridge of his nose like he always did when he was thinking. “The social media team filled me in earlier today,” his dad admitted. “They’ve been monitoring the situation and handling most of it, trying to keep it from escalating on our platforms. I didn’t want to distract you with it, especially with how important tonight’s game is.” Jay’s jaw clenched. “It’s bad, Dad. They’re coming for her like she did something wrong just by being with me. She doesn’t deserve this. I don’t even know how to fix it.” “You can’t control what people say, son,” his dad said gently. “I know it’s frustrating, but people always talk, especially when someone they admire starts living their life outside of the image those fans have built up in their heads. This isn’t Y/N’s fault, and it’s not yours either.” Jay leaned against the side of the bus, staring at the asphalt below. “I feel like I dragged her into this mess, though. She didn’t ask for any of it. And now, even the company is getting hit because of me.” His dad’s voice softened even further. “Jay, listen to me. The company can handle itself. That’s why we have a team in place, to deal with things like this. What matters to me, what matters to your mom, is that you’re happy. And if Y/N is a part of that happiness, then we’ll support you. People will always find reasons to criticize. It’s not fair, but it’s the reality of being in the spotlight.” His dad paused, then spoke with quiet conviction. “Does she make you happy?” Jay blinked, caught off guard by the simplicity of the question. “Yeah. She does. A lot.” “Then don’t let anyone take that away from you,” his dad said firmly. “And don’t let her think for one second that she’s not worth it. People like to tear others down because they think they can. But if you and Y/N stick together, you can get through this. And as for the company? That’s my problem, not yours. You let me handle that.” Jay swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. “Thanks, Dad. I just… thank you.” “You can always talk to me, son,” his dad replied. “And when you’re ready, bring her by. Your mom will want to meet her, and frankly, so do I. Anyone who can make you this happy has to be someone special.”

Jay managed a small smile, despite the weight in his chest. “I will. Soon.” “Good. Now go focus on your game. I’ll be watching." “Love you, Dad,” Jay said softly. “Love you too, son.”

Jay stepped onto the ice with a single-minded focus: win. The rage bubbling inside him from the past few hours made his movements sharp and aggressive. Every stride, every pass, every check was fueled by his anger and frustration.  The puck dropped, and the first faceoff was brutal. Jay muscled past his opponent, sending the puck flying toward Heeseung, who immediately began driving it down the rink.  Minutes into the game, it became clear to everyone that Jay wasn’t playing with his usual calm control. He slammed into one of the opposing players with a shoulder check that sent the guy sprawling onto the ice. The whistle blew sharply, but Jay barely flinched, skating back into position with a steely glare.

“Jay!” Soobin hissed as they lined up for the next play. “What the hell, man? Pull it back a little!” Jay ignored him. Later, during a scramble near the boards, another player tried to corner him. Jay shoved him off harder than necessary, sending the guy crashing into the plexiglass. The opposing bench erupted, yelling at the refs for a call. The ref blew the whistle and signaled for a penalty. “Two minutes in the box,” the he barked, pointing at Jay. Jay didn’t argue. He skated to the penalty box, sitting down heavily on the bench, his chest heaving. He yanked off his helmet, running a hand through his damp hair. He saw his teammates exchanging worried glances on the bench, CC pacing furiously behind them. Jay leaned his head back onto the wall of the box trying to calm down his breathing. It’s going to be fine. His dad was taking care of it. It’s going to be fine.  But at the same time he had to think of you, being alone in your apartment, probably not listening to his advice to not read anything, to turn off your phone and the rage inside his chest bubbled up more than ever before.  Back on the ice, the team fought to kill off the penalty, but Jay could barely focus on the game happening around him. His jaw clenched as he stared at the rink, replaying the hateful comments in his mind. His fists tightened as he thought about how powerless he’d felt seeing you scroll through them.

The penalty ended, and Jay burst back onto the ice with even more intensity. He intercepted a pass, speeding toward the goal with laser focus. An opposing defender tried to stop him, and Jay plowed through played the puck to Heesung and Heeseung set the puck into the goal. Just seconds later the first period ended. “What the hell are you doing out there?” the coach snapped, grabbing Jay by the arm when he arrived at the bench. “We don’t need you fouling around, Park. Pull it together or you’re sitting for the rest of the game. I want to see a fair game, no playing dirty or brutally.” Jay didn’t respond, just pulled his arm free and sat heavily on the bench. He could feel the eyes of his teammates on him, but he didn’t care. When the final whistle blew, the team had won, but his excitement over the win was muted. As they filed back into the locker room, Jay stayed quiet, avoiding the others. He showered quickly, the water doing little to cool his temper. By the time he was back on the bus, his teammates were chatting and laughing, but Jay sat silently, his gaze fixed out the window.  All he wanted was to get to you. He needed to see you, you, and figure out what the hell to do next.

You were sprawled out on your living room floor, one hand mindlessly stroking Gracie’s soft fur while your other arm draped over your eyes. The late afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, casting stripes of light across the room. Your phone sat next to you, buzzing intermittently with notifications you refused to check. Jay had told you not to look. He’d texted you three times already since leaving, urging you to ignore the comments, to stay offline. But you couldn’t. Gracie let out a soft purr as you scratched behind her ears. You sighed deeply and picked up your phone, opening youtube first. It didn’t take long to find the catalyst for the whole situation. In the vlog you posted yesterday, a brief six-second clip of Jay had made it in. His face wasn’t blurred. Combined with the few Instagram stories you’d posted over the past few weeks of cute cafés and hockey rinks, plus his own post of the two of you hugging after his last game, it was more than enough for people to piece things together. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, someone had leaked pictures from your private spam account.  You stared at the photos now flooding your twitter feed, a lump forming in your throat. Pictures of you out on dates, at the weekly movie night at Jays dorm, pictures you took of him cooking and snuggling with Gracie. Your mind raced, trying to figure out who could’ve leaked them. You trusted everyone on that account. Or at least, you thought you did.

You didn’t only get hate. There were supportive comments from your viewers and fans that were happy about you and Jay, of course some of them more and some less. Many speculated that Han and you were a thing, but kept it in private. You could now see why they were thinking that. Apparently you were the only one not thinking that.  “God, I’m so over this,” you muttered, dropping your phone onto the floor and rubbing your hands over your face. The harsh buzz of the doorbell startled you, followed by an unmistakable series of rapid, heavy knocks.  “Y/N, open up!” Before you could even stand up to open it, Taki was already stepping inside, his face clouded with concern. “Y/N,” he said softly, setting down his bag by the door and kicking off his shoes before coming over to you. “Are you okay?”

You tried for a smile, but it faltered almost immediately. “Not really,” you admitted, sitting up. “But I’m surviving, I guess.” Taki kneeled down next to you and gently pulled you into a hug. “Jay told me to come check on you. He’s worried,” he said, his tone low but comforting. “Well he told Yudai but he isn't here this weekend so Yudai told me and yeah.” You sighed, pulling back and gesturing for him to sit on the couch. “He shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want you worrying too.” “That’s my job as your brother,” he said lightly, flopping down onto the couch and patting the seat next to him. “Now sit and tell me what’s going on.” You hesitated for a moment before joining him, Gracie hopping into your lap the second you sat down. As you scratched behind her ears, the words tumbled out. “It’s a mess, Taki,” you began. “I messed up. I didn’t blur Jay’s face in my vlog, and between that and his post, his… fans figured out we’re dating. And now they hate me for it.”

Taki frowned, his expression softening as he listened. “Why would they hate you? That doesn’t make any sense. Jay seems like a great guy, and you guys look happy together.” You let out a humorless laugh. “That’s the problem, Taki. They think I’m not good enough for him, or that I’m using him for his money or his career. And some of them are just angry that I exist.” He tilted his head, clearly confused. “I don’t get it. Why would they think that?” You hesitated, running your fingers through Gracie’s fur. “Because Jay isn’t just some college hockey player, Taki. He’s already signed with one of the best NHL teams. He has a future most people can only dream about. And his parents? They own this insanely successful company. They’re millionaires. So… yeah, some people don’t like that he’s with me instead of, I don’t know, someone richer or more famous or -” “Someone stupid,” Taki interrupted, cutting you off with a shake of his head. “That’s ridiculous. You’re amazing, Y/N. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.” His words brought a small smile to your face. “Thanks, Taki. But these people…they think I’m ruining everything for him.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “That’s so stupid,” he said, his voice laced with frustration. “It’s not like they even know him. And Jay doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to let other people tell him who he can date.” You shook your head. “He’s not. He’s been so… so amazing through all of this. But I don’t want him to have to deal with this either, you know? He’s already under so much pressure.” Taki studied you for a moment before leaning back, his tone softening. “Look, I don’t know much about this whole fan thing, but I do know one thing - Jay really likes you. That dude makes heart eyes at you every breathing second. And honestly, I think you like him just as much.”

You glanced at him, surprised by his sudden insight. “So,” he continued, a small smile tugging at his lips, “stop worrying about what other people think. The two of you are perfect for each other.” You couldn’t help but laugh softly, even as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. “When did you get so wise?" “I’ve always been wise,” he teased, nudging your shoulder, “Wise enough to go to Yudais party today. And you are coming along!” You groaned, shaking your head. “Taki, I’m really not in the mood.” He grinned, undeterred. “Too bad. Yudai’s letting me come, and Niki’s gonna be there too. You can hang out with us all night if you want. No pressure to talk to anyone else. Just come.” You hesitated, but the earnest look in his eyes made it hard to say no. “Fine,” you relented. He did a celebratory fist bump. 

The moment Niki barreled into your apartment, hyped to be allowed to come to a college party and not having to sneak home and being allowed to drink, you knew your night would be more fun than you anticipated. When you stepped into the kitchen, the smell of alcohol and the clinking of glasses greeted you. Taki wasted no time, zeroing in on the lineup of bottles on the counter like a kid in a candy store. “Oh, look at this!” he exclaimed, grabbing a bottle of tequila. “You’re not drinking that straight,” you warned, though your tone lacked its usual sternness. Yudai appeared just then, already buzzed. “Finally! Took you guys long enough. Shots! Let’s go.” Taki and Niki immediately nodded excitedly. You rolled your eyes but didn’t protest as Yudai handed out glasses. “One shot,” you warned the younger two, holding up a finger. “Yeah, yeah,” Taki muttered, clinking his glass against Niki’s and Yudai’s before throwing it back. You took your own shot, the burn of alcohol making you wince slightly. “Another round?” Yudai asked, holding up the bottle, ignoring your protest.

Before you knew it, the four of you were gathered around the beer pong table. Taki and Niki were practically bouncing with excitement, and you couldn’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm. “Y/N, you’re terrible at this,” Taki whined after you completely missed the table. “Careful, or you’re getting water for your next turn,” you shot back, making him laugh. As the game went on, you allowed yourself to let loose a little more. You even took a third? fourth? shot when Yudai passed it to you. Despite your growing haziness, you noticed Niki wobbling slightly as he lined up his next shot. When Yudai handed him another shot, you stepped in. “Okay, that’s enough for you,” you said, plucking the glass from his hand. “Y/N!” Niki groaned, pouting at you. “Nope,” you said firmly. “Water. Now.” Taki, his face already flushed from the alcohol, groaned dramatically. “You’re such a buzzkill.”

“Better a buzzkill than dealing with you puking later,” you retorted, handing them both water bottles from the counter. “Drink these or I’m telling Mom and aunt Aiko. That shut them up quickly, and you felt a small surge of triumph as they grudgingly obeyed. You turned back to the beer pong table, only to freeze when you caught sight of two familiar figures across the room. Felix and Chaeryeong stood by the doorway, their eyes scanning the crowd. Until Felix's gaze landed squarely on you. Your breath hitched. You managed a small, shy wave, but when Felix nudged Chaeryeong and they both started moving toward you, panic set in. You were sure they saw, they knew what was going on and if they came and asked if you were fine, you weren't able to pretend. Not today.  “I need some air,” you mumbled to your brothers, pushing off the counter. Before they could protest, you slipped out the back door, the cool night air hitting your face as you tried to steady your breathing. The cool night air hit your face like a slap, and you stumbled slightly as you stepped outside, gripping the railing for support, trying to steady your breathing.

Jay walked into the swim team's house behind Heeseung, Jake, and Beomgyu. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for a party, but you texted him that you are playing babysitter for your brother and his friend and now he had no option but to get dressed for the spring break party. Against his better judgement, he spent the last few hours scrolling through the hateful comments, which had dampened his mood drastically.  He barely registered the chatter and the music blasting around him. His gaze was searching for you, eyes scanning the room, dodging drunk students as he made his way deeper into the crowd. He didn’t have to look for long before spotting Felix, who was talking to a couple of people near the kitchen. He noticed Jay almost instantly, and when their eyes met, he gave him a sympathetic, almost understanding look. “Have you seen Y/N?” he asked, his voice tight with concern. Felix nodded, his expression softening. “She was here a few minutes ago, but I think she… kind of fled outside. Jay’s heart clenched at his words. He didn’t waste another second, muttering a quick thanks to Felix before moving toward the backdoor.  He spotted you almost immediately. You were leaning against the small shed in the garden, gazing into the dark sky.

Jay made his way over to you, shivering slightly against the cold. He took a step forward, then another, his feet heavy as he approached you. His heart skipped a beat when he softly whispered your name, “Y/N.” You turned toward him at the sound of your name, and for a split second, he caught the flash of recognition in your eyes before they softened with relief.  “Jay…”, your voice cracked slightly, but it was enough to make his heart tighten. He crossed the small distance, wrapping his arms around you. “Hi baby. Why are you outside? It’s so cold.”, he asked, his voice quiet against the crown of your hair. You shook your head a little, your lips pressing together as you tried to force a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I just…needed a minute.” Jay nodded. He wasn’t going to push you for details - not yet. He knew you would tell him in your own time. Instead, he pulled back slightly, taking our face into his hands and lightly rested his forehead against yours. “I get it,” he murmured. “You don’t have to explain anything. I just… I needed to see you. Needed to know you were okay.” The tension in your shoulders seemed to ease at his touch, and you let out a small sigh, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “I’m just so frustrated, Jay. I can’t even look my friends in the face right, and… everything’s just so much.”

Jay’s hand moved to the back of your neck, his fingers gently massaging the tension there. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” You didn’t say anything in response, but he could feel your body relax further in his arms, your chest rising and falling as you leaned into him. “Come inside with me,” he whispered, pulling back just slightly so he could meet your eyes. “We don’t have to go back to the party, but I’m not leaving you out here alone." You hesitated for a moment, your brows furrowed in thought, but then you nodded.  “Okay,” you nodded, strengthening your shoulders. “We should probably check on Taki and Niki. I am sure they ignored my warning about snitching to mom and kept drinking.” Jay laughed and led you back inside, the noise of the party growing louder as you stepped into the living room. Drunk students were lingering in the room, laughing, talking, and occasionally yelling over the blaring music. Jay’s eyes scanned the room until he spotted Taki and Niki slumped on a couch, giggling like children as they watched a Mario Kart game unfold on the TV. A group of people had gathered around the players, cheering and shouting encouragement. “There they are,” Jay said, nodding toward the couch. You followed his gaze and laughed softly. “Of course they’d be there.”

Taki spotted you both and immediately waved, his hand flopping dramatically as he almost tipped off the couch. “Y/N! Get over here!” Jay chuckled, steering you toward the duo, his hand never leaving the small of your back. When you reached them, Taki was giggling uncontrollably at Niki’s horrified expression as his kart spun out of control. “Bro, you just drove off Rainbow Road. Again." “Shut up,” Niki muttered, and turned to you, “Y/N save me. I can’t do this. I don’t even have a license yet!”  You burst out laughing and softly shoved your brother out of the way so you could sit down on the sofa next to him. Your brother immediately dropped his head onto your lap and giggled again.  “How much did you drink, Taki.”, you asked while caressing his hair. He shook his head and protested, he didn’t drink too much! The world isn’t even spinning yet! You just rolled your eyes and signed.  Jay chuckled, settling himself on the floor by your legs, his shoulder brushing against your knee. His gaze kept drifting to you. Your gentle touch as you smoothed Taki's hair, the way your lips curved into a tender smile. God, you were beautiful. And when you were like this, soft and sweet and effortlessly loving, he couldn’t help but fall for you even harder. You looked down and caught his eye winking at him. He smiled and focused back onto the TV screen where Yoshi just took another nose dive into space. He felt your long nails slightly scratching along the sensitive skin of his neck and shivered.  “Y/N, help me!” Niki groaned dramatically, interrupting your moment by waving his controller in front of your face like it might somehow convince you to help him. You rolled your eyes, your hand still absently moving up and down Jay’s neck. “Niki, you can’t just give up. You gotta power through.” “I am not giving up!” Niki insisted, his tone petulant, and you laughed. “Yes, you are.” You glanced down at Jay, your fingers not stopping. “Jay, save him. He’s apparently incapable of surviving Rainbow Road on his own.” Jay tilted his head to look up at you, grinning. “What do I get if I rescue him?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. “My eternal gratitude?” “Not enough,” Jay teased, leaning slightly against your leg. “I’m risking my life here.” “Jayyyy,” Niki groaned, flopping back against the couch.

“Fine, fine.” You nudged Jay gently with your foot and leaned forward, whispering. “How about I make it worth your while in ways Niki doesn’t need to know about?”  Jay felt his neck and ears flush red at that comment, but took the controller form Niki’s outstretched hand. “Deal. But if I lose, I’m blaming you for distracting me. You snorted. “You can’t be serious.” Jay looked up at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Dead serious. You’re too pretty. It’s unfair.” A faint blush crept up your cheeks, but you rolled your eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. “Just play the game, hockey boy.” As Jay took control, the game resumed, and Niki immediately began shouting instructions from beside him. “No, no, don’t take that shortcut! It’s a trap!” Jay ignored him, more or less expertly navigating the twists and turns of the map. He leaned forward, his tongue poking out slightly in concentration.

“See?” he said, glancing up at you for a split second as he rounded a sharp curve and caught up with the other players. Admittedly, it wasn’t much of a challenge, given that Jay was sober while the other players seemed barely capable of walking in a straight line, let alone focusing on the screen and steering a virtual motorbike. “This is how it’s done, Niki.” “Show-off,” you muttered, but you were smiling. “Jealous?” Jay teased, barely dodging a banana peel. “Not at all.” “Uh-huh.” Jay smirked, his confidence growing as he passed another racer.  You crossed your arms, pretending to be unimpressed, but the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. “I’ll admit it when you win, not before.” “Challenge accepted,” Jay nodded. As the game progressed, Niki alternated between cheering and groaning, Taki dozed off in your lap, and Jay kept stealing glances at you, his chest swelling with a mix of pride and affection every time he saw you smile. By the time Jay crossed the finish line in fifth place, he threw his hands up in mock victory, turning to you with a triumphant grin. “Hah! Look at that!” You laughed, shaking your head. “Well done babe.” Niki jumped up and almost threw himself into Jays’ arms. “Thank you, Jay. I will always remember this!” He tried giving Jay a kiss, but Jay stopped him and sat him down next to him again, fending off the younger's love. “No worries Niki.”, Jay grabbed the remote again and got ready for the next round. This time the other players decided on playing an easier route, choosing… Bowser's castle? “I’m going to use the bathroom,” you said softly, leaning toward Jay and kissing his head. “I’ll be right back, okay?” He tore his eyes away from the screen. “Are you sure? Should i come along?” You gave him a small smile, nodding, while you carefully moved Takis head, waking him up in the process. “I’m fine, Jay. Promise. I am a big girl.”

Reluctantly, he let you go, watching as you disappeared down the hallway. Turning back to Taki and Niki, he chuckled at the scene in front of him. Niki was now lying on his back on the couch, kicking his feet in mock frustration as he held an empty red Solo cup. “I hate this game! Who invented this stupid road with no sides? I’m suing Nintendo!” “Yeah, good luck with that,” Jay said, smirking as he leaned against the couch, the controller abandoned. Taki squinted at him, his face scrunching in exaggerated concentration. “You… you’re Jay, right? The hockey guy. With the money.” “Yeah, Taki. That’s me,” Jay said, amused. Taki sat up dramatically, pointing a finger at him, though his hand wobbled. “Listen, Jay. I like you. You’re cool.” He paused, his expression turning serious or as serious as a drunk 17-year-old could manage. “But if you hurt Y/N… I’ll kick you in the nuts.” Niki snorted, not even trying to stifle his laughter. Jay burst out laughing, ruffling Taki’s hair. “Duly noted, Taki. I’ll keep that in mind.” “I mean it,” Taki insisted, poking Jay’s chest. “She’s awesome. And you’re, like, just a dude. So don’t screw it up. She can replace you. Easily.” “I won’t,” Jay said, his voice softening. “I promise.” Taki seemed satisfied with that, flopping back against the couch.

After listening to their banter for a few minutes Jay glanced toward the hallway where you had disappeared. You’d been gone for a while now. He stood up, detangling his limbs from Taki and Niki, ignoring their complaints, and headed toward the toilets. As he moved through the crowd, he nearly bumped into Jake, who was coming from the kitchen with a drink in hand. “Whoa, man. Watch it,” Jake said, grinning. “You lose someone?” “Yeah,” Jay muttered, his brows furrowed. “Have you seen Y/N?” Jake tilted his head thoughtfully. “Nope. Did you lose her?” Jay shook his head, scanning the room once more for any sign of you. “She said she was going to the bathroom, but it’s been a while.” “Hmm.” Jake glanced toward the hallway. “Could be a line.” Jay shrugged, though unease prickled at him. “Maybe. I’ll go check upstairs. She likes the bathroom up there better. Fewer drunk people hanging around.” “I’ll come with you.”, Jake nodded and followed Jay, as he navigated through the crowd. As they walked, Jay dodged a group of tipsy girls stumbling into the kitchen, his focus narrowing as they approached the staircase. Jay climbed the stairs, Jake following a step behind. He was halfway to the bathroom door when his steps faltered. There, at the end of the hall, you were standing. Talking to Han.

Jay’s jaw clenched as he stopped in his tracks, his stomach twisting unpleasantly. Han leaned slightly forward, his expression a mix of regret and sadness. You stood across from him, calm and composed, your arms loosely crossed. “I should-” Jay started, stepping toward you, but Jake grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t,” Jake said firmly. Jay turned to glare at him. “Why not? He’s-” “Look,” Jake cut him off, gesturing subtly toward the two of you. “They’re not fighting. She looks fine. And Han looks like a kicked puppy. Let them talk.” Jay hesitated, his fists clenching at his sides. He hated watching you and Han together. Resentment boiled in his chest. Still, he couldn’t ignore Jake’s reasoning. You didn’t look distressed. Your body language wasn’t defensive or angry, just... patient. Whatever was being said, it didn’t seem like it was hurting you.

His eyes snapped up when he saw you, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, his face crumpled into a mix of regret and hesitation. “Hi, Han,” you said evenly, even though your heart started racing. You really didn’t want to deal with this now, not when you had a few drinks and he probably had as well. You gave him a polite, tight smile and tried to walk past him, but his hand shot out, gently catching your wrist. “Y/N, wait,” he said, his voice quiet but urgent. You stopped, glancing down at his hand on your arm before meeting his gaze. “What do you want Han?” you asked, trying to keep your voice neutral.

“Can we talk? Please,” he said, his voice tinged with desperation. You hesitated. After a moment, you sighed. “Okay. Talk. Han let go of your wrist, his hand dropping limply to his side. He took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling as he steadied himself. “I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been… I’ve been such an idiot. And I hate how things are between us now.” You crossed your arms, staying silent as he struggled to get his words out. There were no things between you. Nothing. Nada.  “I’ve loved you for a long time, Y/N,” he finally said, his voice soft but heavy with emotion. “I think I’ve loved you since the moment we became friends. And I knew, I knew, you didn’t feel the same way. But I told myself that maybe if I waited long enough, if I was just patient, you’d come around. You’d come to see me as more than your childhood best friend.” Your chest tightened as his words sank in. Since he first met you? That means it would have been more than 8 years at this point.  “I know now how stupid that was. Delusional, even,” he continued, his voice growing quieter. “You were never anything but honest with me. You were my friend, and I took that friendship and twisted it into something selfish. I let my feelings fester, and when Jay came into the picture… I lost it. I couldn’t handle it. I thought I’d been waiting for so long, and then he just showed up and…” Han trailed off, his eyes glistening under the dim light. He took another deep breath, his voice cracking as he said, “I hurt you, Y/N. I said things, did things, that I’ll never forgive myself for. And the worst part is, I knew how much I was hurting you in the moment, but I let it happen anyway. I was bitter and jealous, and that’s on me. None of it was your fault. Nothing I said at that party is the truth. I don't think of you like that, I just wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me. Even if you didn’t intent to." Your throat felt tight, but you forced yourself to respond. “Han…” “No, let me finish,” he interrupted, his tone gentle but firm. “I need to say this. I need you to know how sorry I am. For everything. For ruining what we had, for making you feel like you couldn’t trust me. I don’t expect you to forgive me - not right now, maybe not ever. But I had to tell you how sorry I am.”

You looked at him, your emotions warring between anger, sadness, and something softer. “Han, I’m not going to pretend this didn’t hurt me,” you said finally, your voice steady but quiet. “You were my best friend. I don’t know if I can forgive you. I don’t even know if I’m ready to try." Han nodded, his expression pained but understanding. “I get it. I do. And if you need space, I’ll give you that. I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of never telling you how much I regret all of it. And i don’t want you to avoid the others anymore. They worry Y/N. A lot. If you want me to, I'll stop hanging around them, but please talk to them." Before you could respond, you caught movement over his shoulder. Glancing up, you saw Jay and Jake at the end of the hallway. Jay’s jaw was tight, his gaze fixed on you, while Jake hovered beside him, looking more curious than concerned. Han followed your gaze and turned to look. When he spotted Jay, a bitter smile flickered across his face before fading into something more resigned. He turned back to you, his voice softening. “I’m glad he makes you happy, Y/N. In a way, I couldn’t.” You blinked, unsure of what to say. After a moment, you simply nodded.  “Maybe someday we can go back to being friends,” he added, his tone wistful. “Maybe,” you said quietly, offering him a small, tentative smile. As you stepped around Han and headed toward Jay, his hand immediately found yours. His eyes searched yours, concern etched into his features. “What happened?” he asked, his voice low and protective. “Nothing,” you said softly, squeezing his hand and smiling at him. He really made you happy. “He just needed to talk. I’m fine.” Jay didn’t look convinced, but he nodded, brushing his thumb against your hand as he guided you back downstairs.

When the three of you rejoined Jays friends in the kitchen your mind couldn’t stop reeling. Han might not think you were a slut and a gold digger, but apparently many others do and they let you know they do. Every time you open your phone in fact. You found yourself reaching for the nearest drink table, eager for a distraction. You felt Jays gaze on you as you poured yourself a cup of something pink and unidentifiable, but he didn’t stop you, watching carefully instead. The drink wasn’t particularly strong and you couldn’t figure out what you were drinking, but the slight burn of the alcohol was enough for you to set the cup aside again. Getting drunk wasn’t going to help you figure anything out right.  You plastered a smile on your face, laughing along when needed, determined to shake off the heaviness from your conversation with Han.  “Let’s dance,” you said, taking a sip and tugging at Jays hand. Jay obliged, though his gaze lingered on you, concern etched into his features. The two of you moved with the music, and for a fleeting moment, you almost convinced yourself that the tightness in your chest was fading. It wasn’t. If you were honest it just got worse. The music, the people laughing, the overwhelming smell of sweat, weed and alcohol made you want to scream. Han’s words replayed in your mind. His regret, his confession, the way he said Jay made you happy in a way he couldn’t. You didn’t know how to feel. Sad? Relieved? Angry? All of it mixed together? Jay noticed. Of course he noticed. “Y/N,” he said softly, leaning down so only you could hear him over the music. “Let’s go home.” You blinked up at him, the forced smile slipping from your face. “What? No, I’m fine,” you lied, shaking your head. “I want to stay.” Jay didn’t let go of your hand. His gaze was steady, grounding, as he said, “You’re not fine. Let’s go.” Your chest tightened, and for a second, you wanted to argue.  “Okay,” you whispered.

Before leaving, the two of you searched for Taki and Niki, who were both passed out on the couch, tangled in a heap of limbs and half-empty cups. Jay sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll get Niki. Can you grab Taki?” It took some effort, but the two of you managed to haul your brother and his friend upstairs to Yudai’s room. Jay carefully laid Niki on the bed while you tucked Taki in beside him, brushing his hair out of his face as he mumbled incoherently in his sleep. You and Jay exchanged a small, exhausted smile before quietly slipping out of the room.

The walk back to your flat was quiet, the cold night air sobering you slightly but doing little to settle the storm in your chest. Jay’s hand was warm and steady around yours, his thumb tracing small circles against your skin. When you finally reached your place, you let out a shaky breath as the door clicked shut behind you. You kicked off your shoes and let yourself fall flat onto your sofa, startling Gracie, who was resting on her bed next to the cushions.  Jay watched as you slumped onto the couch. He sat down beside you, close but not too close, waiting for you to speak. For a moment, the room was quiet, the only sound the faint hum of the heater kicking on. Then, the words spilled out of you. “I don’t know how to deal with this, Jay,” you started, your voice tight and wavering. “What Han said... God, I don’t even know how to feel about it. He’s been my friend for so long, and I love him. Platonically. But he didn’t. Doesn’t? Oh I don’t know. Looking him in the eyes today-” Your voice cracked, and you shook your head. “It was so hard. I hated it.” Jay’s hand moved to your back, resting there lightly as you continued. 

“And my friends…” you continued, your voice rising slightly as the words tumbled out faster. “I can’t even look them in the eyes because I don’t want them to feel like they have to choose between me and Han. I don’t want them to pick sides. I just- I want everything to go back to normal, but it can’t, can it? And then he offers that he could just pull back a bit? To not hang out with them so I can do so? I don’t want him to do that. They are our friends. No matter what the two of us are.” Your breath hitched, and you covered your face with your hands for a moment before dropping them to your lap. “And I just want to stop feeling sad. I want to stop being like this so you don’t have to worry about me all the time. You already have enough on your plate, and I-” “Hey,” Jay interrupted softly, his hand pressing slightly firmer against your back. “Stop. Just stop for a second." You glanced at him, your eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears. He met your gaze, his expression filled with so much tenderness it made your chest ache. “I’m glad you told me all of this,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “I need to know when things are weighing on you, Y/N. I want to know. You don’t have to bottle it all up, okay?” You nodded slightly, your lips pressing together as you tried to hold back tears. It really was the first time that you’ve told him what's going on you realized.  “It’s normal that you feel like shit right now, Y/N. If you weren’t I would be worried even more. If Jake told me he had a crush on me since highschool and then cursed me out I would not leave my room for months, but look at you powering through. I know you don't feel like everything is okay, but give yourself a bit of time. It’s going to be weird and hard for a bit, but at one point you will be laughing about the whole situation.”, he shook his head and moved next to you onto the sofa, slightly adjusting you, so that you were lying in his arms.  “And about the social media stuff,” Jay continued, “my dad’s already on it. He has a team of professionals who deal with this kind of thing. They’re going to handle it, and they’ll give you tips on what to do. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. We’ve got it covered.” You blinked, surprised. “Your dad knows?” Jay gave you a small, reassuring smile. “Yeah. He wanted to help." You nodded slowly, the weight on your chest easing just a fraction. “You don’t have to solve everything by yourself,” he said softly, his lips brushing against your temple. “Let me take some of the weight, okay? You’re not alone in this.”

You loved waking up in Jay's arms. He was over more mornings than not so the two of you have built up your own little routine by now. Jay was responsible for breakfast, while you handled the drinks. A iced americano for him and a different drink for you and a bit of milk for Gracie, since you are easily influenced by her pleading meows. Jay scolded you for it everyday, but didn’t stop you. Instead he bought cat milk for her. Simp. His phone buzzed with an incoming call. Jay groaned, lifting his phone from your bedside table to check the caller ID. “It’s Coach Choi.”, he muttered, irritation clear in his voice. Answering the call, Jay’s tone was clipped but polite. “Yeah, Coach? What’s up?” You glanced up at him with a questioning look, but he just gave you a reassuring smile and mouthed, I’ll be okay. You couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but from the way Jay’s jaw tightened and his fingers paused in your hair, it was clear this wasn’t a casual check-in. “Alright. I’ll be there,” he finally said, ending the call with a heavy sigh. “What’s going on?” you asked, sitting up slightly. “Coach wants me at the rink,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “No idea why, but I have to go.” You frowned but nodded. “Okay.” Jay leaned down to kiss your forehead before grabbing his things. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Park.”, the Coach barked, “Sit.” Jay dropped himself onto one of the benches opposing his Coach. “What the hell is going on with you?” Coach Choi’s voice echoed off the tiled walls. “You think last night was acceptable? Playing like a damn wrecking ball and spending more time in the penalty box than on the ice? The penalty box isn’t where we win games!” Jay opened his mouth to respond, but Coach cut him off with a glare. “You’re the co-captain of this team, Jay. Do you understand what that means? It means you’re supposed to be a role model. Someone the younger guys look up to. You’re supposed to keep your head in the game, set the example - not be the one I have to bench because you can’t control your temper.” Jay clenched his jaw, his fists tightening on his thighs. He wanted to explain, to defend himself, but there was no way to deny that Coach was right. “If you’re distracted by something,” Coach continued, his tone hard but not unkind, “then you need to handle it. Whatever it is- your personal life, girl trouble, social media drama - I don’t care. You leave it at the door. You’re here to play hockey, not let everyone else clean up your mess. The mention of girl trouble made Jay’s stomach twist. He could hear the implication loud and clear. This wasn’t just about his performance; it was about you, about the backlash you were facing and how it was bleeding into his game. “Do you even realize the position you’re in, Park?” Coach’s voice softened slightly, his frustration giving way to something almost like concern. “You’re one of the most talented players we’ve had in years. Your future is right in front of you, but if you keep playing like you did last night, you’re going to ruin it before it even starts.” Jay took a deep breath, his head bowed. “I understand, Coach,” he said quietly. Coach sighed, running a hand over his face. “Good. Because I don’t want to see that kind of performance again. And if there’s something going on - something you need help with -  figure it out. Quickly.”  The words hit Jay like a slap to the face. He wanted to yell, to argue, but instead, he nodded stiffly. “I’ll do better next time.” Coach studied him for a moment longer before nodding. “See that you do. Ask Jeonghee if you need help with anything regarding that situation with your girl. Dismissed.” As Jay left the rink, his mind was a whirlwind of anger and frustration. He knew the Coach had heard about the social media backlash. But the thought of anyone, even his coach, implying you were a liability made his blood boil. You were the best thing in his life, and anyone who couldn’t see that could go to hell.

“Jay?” you called cautiously. He didn’t answer, instead walking straight over to you, plucking your book from your hands  and draping himself over you, his weight pressing you back against the cushions. “Jay!” you laughed, trying to sit up. “What-” He didn’t let you finish. His lips were on your neck, softly feathing it with kisses. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer. “Jay, wait,” you said between breaths, “what’s going on?” He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his own dark and intense. “I’m just so mad,” he muttered. “At Coach, at the stupid hate, at all of it. But then I come back here, and you’re just… you.” You blinked at him, your heart pounding. “Me?” “You,” he said, pressing another kiss to the side of your neck. “You’re perfect, and I don’t care what anyone else says. I don’t care if I have to fight every coach, every fan, and everyone else who doesn’t get it.” Your hands found his shoulders, slightly pushing him up. “Jay, slow down. What happened?” He sighed, leaning his forehead against yours. “Coach basically told me to get my head in the game or break up with you.” Your breath got caught in your throat. “He said that?”

“Not in so many words, but yeah,” Jay admitted, his voice low. “And I’m not breaking up with you. That’s not even an option.” You felt a wave of emotion crash over you, a mix of anger, gratitude, and love. You cupped his face in your hands, brushing your thumbs over his cheeks. “Jay, I’m sorry. This is all my fault.” “Stop,” he interrupted, his tone firm. “None of this is your fault. Don’t ever think that. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, Y/N. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that.” You nodded, your chest tight with emotion. “Okay.” Jay’s forehead rested against yours. “I just can’t stand the thought of anyone making you feel like you’re anything less than amazing.”

Jay’s forehead rested gently against yours, his breath warm and steady against your skin. His voice was soft but filled with emotion. “I just can’t stand the thought of anyone making you feel like you’re anything less than amazing.”

His words sent a shiver through you, your heart swelling in your chest. A faint smile tugged at your lips as your hands slid up his shoulders, fingers brushing over the firm lines of his muscles, until they clasped together behind his neck.

“You’re doing a pretty good job of reminding me,” you whispered, your voice light but trembling slightly with emotion.

He chuckled, the sound low and rich, sending warmth cascading through you. His lips brushed lightly over yours, teasing, before he murmured, “Good. Because you deserve to feel that way every second.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that sent your thoughts scattering.

His lips were hot and insistent against yours, moving with a fervent intensity that left you breathless. He kissed you deeply, his tongue teasing and coaxing you in a way that made your knees feel weak, even as you stood firm in his embrace. You responded without hesitation, your fingers tangling into his hair, tugging slightly as he deepened the kiss further.

Jay’s hands weren’t idle; they traveled up and down your torso, his touch igniting a trail of warmth that lingered long after his fingers moved. His palms were firm yet gentle as they slid under the hem of the oversized hoodie you were wearing, the rough pads of his fingertips grazing the sensitive skin of your sides.

When his hands brushed the underside of your bra, you gasped softly against his lips, pulling back just enough to catch your breath. Your chest heaved, your heart racing as you tried to steady yourself.

“Jay,” you whimpered, the sound escaping unbidden as his lips left yours to trail a heated path down your jawline.

He stopped immediately, his movements slowing as he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. His pupils were blown wide, dark and intense, and the sight of him sent a fresh wave of heat pooling low in your stomach. His voice was husky and careful, thick with restraint as he asked, “Can I touch you?”

Your pulse thundered in your ears, your body alive with anticipation. You met his gaze, your voice barely above a whisper as you replied, “You can do whatever you want to me.”

The way his expression shifted made your breath hitch. This man was going to drive you insane, and you didnt mind it a bit.

You were still asleep on Jay's naked chest when his phone rang. The sound of it being enough to wake you up from your slumber. You opened one of your eyes and squinted at Jay as he stretched towards the bedside table. He glanced at the caller ID and you felt him tense under your hands. “Hey Dad.”, he greeted his father. You pulled up the blanket over your naked bodies a bit more, the thought of his dad made you want to hide any evidence of what you did earlier in the afternoon. “Yes I am with Y/N.”, he said furrowing his eyebrows, listening to his dad again. You strained your ear to understand what his dad was saying but gave up after a few seconds of not being able to decipher any of his words.  “Got it,” Jay muttered. “Yeah, I’ll post it right. Thanks for handling this and for helping Y/N.” His dad answered something that made Jay chuckle. “Yes Dad I will…Yes…I will tell mom myself…I love you too.” Jay’s hand was tracing up and down your naked spin under the covers while he seemingly thought about what his dad just told him.  After a beat of silence he signed opened his phone again. “Dads team drafted something for us to post. We can post it whenever we want, wherever you feel comfortable posting it.” You swallowed hard, your heart clenching but you nodded. “What does it say?” Jay pulled up the text draft and handed you his phone. “This is what they wrote for me.” You rubbed your eyes a bit and sat up, the blanket pooling around your hip and Jays hands wandered to your waist, caressing it while you read the statement. 

“To my fans, followers, and everyone who has shown support throughout my career: I want to address something that’s deeply personal. Over the past few days, I’ve seen behavior I can’t and won’t tolerate. My girlfriend, Y/N, is someone I care deeply about, and she’s been nothing but kind, hardworking, and supportive. She doesn’t deserve the hate or invasion of privacy she’s endured. Let me be clear: if you claim to support me, you’ll respect her. Thank you to those who stand with us. To those who don’t, I don’t need you in my corner. – Jay ” You handed the phone back, your chest tightening with nerves. “And me?” He opened another email, handing you his phone again. “This is what they suggested for you.” “Hello everyone. This is my one and only statement. Harassment, defamation, and invasion of privacy are illegal, and I won’t hesitate to take legal action against anyone involved in such behavior. Sharing pictures of my private instagram account and then spreading lies about my intentions regarding my boyfriend, sending not only me but also him hate is taking it a step too far.  Those actions are listed as defamatory and are crimes. My legal team is currently collecting evidence and I will press charges. I will not forgive and will pursue the furthest extent of the law.  To those who’ve supported me: I am forever grateful for your love and support. – Y/N” You read the text, your anxiety creeping up with every line. “Since when do I have a legal team.”, you furrowed your eyes and looked at Jay.  He shrugged. “I am pretty sure my dads legal team is now also ours?” You looked back onto the phone. “I don’t know, Jay,” you admitted, biting your lip. “What if it makes things worse?”

Jay reached over, taking your hand in his. “It won’t,” he said firmly. “The people who care about you will stand behind you. Fuck the rest. You don’t need those clowns in your life.” You laughed and then nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

The fallout was immediate. Comments and DMs flooded your notifications almost the second you posted your statements. You found yourself obsessively refreshing your phone, watching the numbers climb, rereading replies, and letting each one weigh heavier on your chest. It wasn’t until Jay plucked the phone from your hand, turned it off, and tucked it out of reach that you finally stopped. "Enough," he said firmly but gently, guiding you to your feet. "Come on, let’s do something else. Something not even remotely connected to that mess." Jay practically dragged you to the shower, shampooing your hair with so much care you were about to cry. Once you both were dressed and ready to go, he moved to the bookshelf in your bedroom and pulled out a battered copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, its spine cracked and corners softened by your years of love and annotations. He carefully tucked it into his bag along with your sketchbook and markers. You let him take your hand as he led you outside into the crisp March air. The evening was cool and the sun was just beginning to set, painting the horizon in different shades of amber and violet. By the time you reached your destination, darkness had settled in. You looked up, blinking in surprise at the sight of the familiar entryway. The grand double doors of the library loomed before you, its stone facade glowing faintly in the moonlight. “The library?” you asked, your voice tinged with curiosity as Jay pushed open one of the heavy doors and pulled you inside. “Yeah.” He nodded decisively, guiding you through the quiet halls to a small reading nook near one of the towering windows. “You told me you loved sketching here. So do it. I’ll sit here, read, and let you just...draw. Forget everything else.” You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you dropped into one of the old, plush chairs in the corner. Jay crouched to unpack the bag, setting your sketchbook and markers into your lap. Then he settled into the chair beside you, flipping open your well-loved copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. For a while, the world narrowed down to the sound of pages turning and the soft scratch of your pen on paper. You let yourself drift, losing track of time until Jay nudged you, gesturing toward the clock. “We should head back,” he said, closing the book and sliding it into his bag. The walk back was quiet, save for the crunch of gravel underfoot and the distant hum of campus life winding down for the evening. You were starting to feel tired, despite the amount of sleep you’d gotten today, and leaned into Jay’s calming presence as the two of you strolled together. Neither of you was in the mood to cook, so you decided to grab something quick from the campus food hall. You were about to pile an arguably excessive amount of kimchi onto your plate when a familiar voice startled you “Y/N!" You turned, finding Felix standing there with a wide grin “Hi, Felix,” you said, smiling back at him. An actual smile, for the first time in what felt like forever.

“Are you alone?” he asked, grabbing a tray for himself. “Uh, no.” You shook your head, motioning toward Jay, who was setting his tray down at a table nearby. “I’m here with Jay. We just spent the day in the library.” “Studying?” Felix asked, his tone mockingly incredulous as he raised an eyebrow. You laughed, nudging his shoulder with your own. “No, you idiot. I was sketching, and Jay was reading.” “Thought so,” he replied with a smirk, loading up his tray with what could only be described as a even more reckless amount of kimchi. “If you’d told me you were studying, I wouldn’t have believed you anyway. No offense.” “None taken,” you teased, shaking your head. Felix glanced around the food hall, nodding toward a familiar table in the corner. “I’m here with some of the others. Wanna join us? Or we could join you?” You hesitated, looking over to where Jay was watching the two of you, his tray already on the table. He smiled at you, tilting his head slightly in curiosity.

“I…” You trailed off, turning back to Felix, whose expression had turned a bit awkward. You took a breath, forcing yourself to push past the tension lingering in your chest. “I’d love to. Let me just grab Jay, and we’ll come sit with you. Are you at our usual table?” Felix nodded, motioning toward the familiar corner. “Yeah. Are you sure it’s fine? Han’s there too.” You paused, steadying yourself before answering. “It’s fine,” you said, your voice firmer than you expected. “I can handle it. We can all behave like adults, right?” Felix studied you for a moment, his freckled face softening with relief. “Of course.” “I’m sorry I avoided you all, Lix,” you admitted, setting your tray down on the counter as you rubbed your temples. “I needed to sort my shit out, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you guys.” “It’s okay, Y/N,” he said, his voice gentle. He put down his tray down as well and pulled you into a warm hug. You blinked quickly, trying to stop the tears that threatened to well up, and wrapped your arms around him. When you finally separated, Felix gave you a reassuring pat on the back. “Let’s go, yeah? I’ll tell the others you’ll come over and make Chan move away from your seat near the heater.” “Thanks,” you chuckled with a small smile, picking up your tray and heading toward Jay. Jay raised an eyebrow as you approached, his expression curious. “Everything okay?” You nodded, setting your tray down next to his. “Felix invited us to join their table. Would that be okay with you?” “Of course,” Jay said easily, standing and grabbing his tray. He studied you for a second, “Is it fine for you?" “Yes.”, you said with a nod.  “Okay then let’s go, sweetheart.” The smile he gave you made your heart flutter. 

The two of you made your way to your usual table, where the rest of your friends were already seated. Lia waved you over enthusiastically, scooting her tray aside to make room for you both. “Look who’s here!” Felix announced as you and Jay slid into the seats. Han’s eyes flickered to you briefly, his expression unreadable, before he offered a small nod.  “Okay, serious question,” Minho said, leaning back in his chair looking at Jay with narrowed eyes. You noticed Jay tensing up next to you and you were ready to stop Minho when he continued. “Jay, you are a neutral party here. Do you think Changbin has a bubble but yes or no.” You blinked, startled by the abruptness of the question. You were expecting something completely different.  Jay snorted, all the tension from his body gone in seconds. “A bubble butt?”  “Oh my God,” Lia groaned, covering her face with her hands. “We are not doing this again. Not in front of a stranger.” “We are absolutely doing this again,” Yuna declared.  “His girlfriend is reading these books and in one they talk about bubble butts. She claims Binnie has one. He claims he doesn't.”, Seungmin explained, almost uninterested. “He is just doing squats,” Lia argued. “Lots of squats.” “Or implants,” Minho added, his expression completely deadpan.

“Implants?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow as he reached forward to dip his spoon into his food. Bang Chan leaned forward, his tone mock-scolding. “Don’t talk about him like that when Changbin is not here to defend himself.” “Who says I’m not here?” Everyone turned as Changbin appeared, tray in hand, eyebrows raised suspiciously. “What are you saying about me?” “Oh, nothing,” Minho said innocently, though the smirk tugging at his lips betrayed him. “Uh-huh.” Changbin narrowed his eyes, setting his tray down. “Wait. Is this about my butt again?” “No!” Yuna said quickly, though her wide grin said otherwise. “Yes,” Han muttered, earning a shove from Yeji. Changbin groaned, shaking his head. “Unbelievable. I’ve told you guys, I don't have one. I’ll prove it right now if I have to.” “Don’t you dare!” Lia squealed, slapping her hands over her eyes as the table erupted into laughter, while Changbin turned around, his hands on the waistline of his jeans. “Binnie, please,” Minho said through barely-contained snickers. “We’re in public.” The commotion settled, though the lingering giggles and playful teasing rippled through the group. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched them bicker and banter.

Not much had changed. But somehow, everything had. You caught yourself studying the way Han laughed at one of Minho’s sarcastic remarks, the tension you’d been carrying toward him softening just a little. Lia and Yeji were laughing about something on Seungmins phone, while Felix, Changbin and Yuna argued over getting ass and hip implants. And then there was Jay, sitting beside you with a quiet smile, watching the whole scene unfold. Maybe he was right. Maybe everything just needed a bit time for grass to grow over. 

The end of your spring break arrived faster than you expected, and now you were here, standing in front of an elevator in a sleek, high-rise building in the heart of Seoul. The city buzzed below you, a symphony of car horns and distant chatter that seemed to vibrate in your chest. You clutched the box containing the cake you spent all morning baking tightly, your knuckles white. Jay stood beside you, his hand on the small of your back, while his other held a bouquet of flowers. “Relax,” he murmured, leaning closer. “They’re going to love you." “I’m not worried about that,” you lied, your voice a touch higher than normal. Jay smirked knowingly, his lips brushing your temple. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Before you could argue, the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open to reveal the penthouse floor. You stepped out hesitantly, glancing down at your shoes and the way they squeaked faintly on the polished marble. Jay's parents had a very expensive taste.  The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and you came to a sudden stop, panic flaring in your chest. “Jay, no,” you whispered, whirling to face him. “We have to turn around. Right now.” “What?” He blinked, his expression caught between amusement and concern. “Jay,” you hissed, gesturing toward the grand double doors at the end of the hall. “I’m not... I can’t do this! I didn’t even-” Before you could spiral further, Jay stepped behind you and gently turned you around by your shoulders, steering you toward the doors. “You’re going to be fine,” he said firmly, though his voice was still soft. “They’re not scary, I promise.” Jay pulled a key card from his pocket and swiped it across the panel. The door beeped softly, and Jay pushed it open, stepping inside. “Come on,” he said, holding it open for you with a grin. You hesitated but stepped in. The air smelled faintly of something delicious and you could hear faint clattering from the kitchen. Jay closed the door behind you and turned to you with a smile.  “Shoes off, please,” he said, already bending down to untie his shoes.  As soon as he stood upright, Jay took the cake from your hands and cradled it carefully. “Got it,” he said, glancing down at the dessert. “I’ll take this in.” You followed and crouched down, fumbling with the straps of your heels.  A cheerful voice called out from deeper in the apartment. “Is that you, Jay?” “Yes it’s us Mom!” he called back, his tone light. 

You barely had time to steel yourself before his mom appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Her face lit up when she saw you, her smile warm and welcoming. “Y/N!” she exclaimed, coming forward with open arms, completely ignoring her son. “Hi, Mrs. Park,” you said, bowing slightly. Jay’s mom didn’t hesitate for even a second. She stepped forward and pulled you into a warm, slightly overwhelming hug.  “Oh, it’s so good to meet you,” she said, squeezing you gently. You felt your eyes widen, and over her shoulder, you shot Jay a desperate look.  Jay, save me. Jay smothered a laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly as he mouthed, You’re fine. When his mom finally pulled back, she took a good look at you, her hands resting lightly on your arms. “You’re even prettier than I imagined,” she said warmly. You managed a shy smile, your cheeks flushing. “T-thank you,” you stammered, holding up the flowers as a distraction. “We brought these for you.”

“Oh, Y/N, these are beautiful! Thank you so much.” she exclaimed, taking the flowers and calling over her shoulder, “Now Jay where are your manners. Bring your girlfriend inside while I get your father.”, she jokingly scolded her son and disappeared again.  “Jay.”, you hissed under your breath, glaring at him when the two of you walked past the floor to ceiling high windows with a perfect view of Seouls skyline. “You’re fine,” he whispered back, grinning as he set the cake down on the already decked dinner table. “I’m going to die,” you mumbled, your face buried in your hands. “You’re not dying,” he said, his voice full of amusement. “My mom already loves you.” His hands slid around your waist and he pulled you close to him. You put your arms on his shoulders pouting up at him.  “Mhm.”, he said tilting his head, “Pouting won’t save you darling.”  Sure. Thanks Jay, for those motivating words.  “You’re adorable when you’re flustered, you know that?”, he quickly pecked you on the lips and then released you from his hold, just in time as his mother came into the dining room holding up a vase for the flowers, her excitement undimmed.

Jay’s dad appeared a moment later, his face lighting up when he saw you. He looked like an older version of Jay, his smile warm and kind. He approached you with open arms, and before you could overthink it, he enveloped you in a hug that was somehow both firm and gentle. “It’s so wonderful to meet you in person,” he said, pulling back to look at you with a smile. You smiled shyly. “It’s wonderful to meet you, too, Mr. Park. And... thank you,” you added, your voice earnest. “For what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. “For everything,” you said, glancing down for a moment before meeting his kind eyes again. “For helping when I was dealing with all of that mess online. I know you didn’t have to, but you did, and it meant the world to me. Truly." Jay’s dad waved a hand dismissively, though his expression remained warm. “Of course we helped. We couldn’t just sit by and do nothing. And I’m just glad you’re doing better now.” “Me too,” you said softly, your voice laced with gratitude. His dad smiled, then glanced toward Jay, who was leaning casually against the counter, watching the exchange. There was a glint of mischief in his dad’s eyes as he turned back to you. “You know, you’re the first girl Jay’s ever brought home to meet us.” Your eyes widened slightly, and you glanced at Jay, who immediately straightened, his casual demeanor cracking just a bit.

“Dad,” he said, his voice slightly strained. “He always told us as a teenager that the first girl he’d bring home would be the one he planned to marry.”, his dad said with a chuckle. “Dad!” Jay said, louder this time, his ears turning a distinct shade of red. You blinked, momentarily stunned, before a small laugh escaped you.  “Did he really?” you asked, glancing at Jay with a teasing smile. “Oh, he was very adamant about it,” his dad continued, clearly enjoying himself. “Said it every time we asked why he never dated anyone in high school.” Jay groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided your gaze. “I was a kid,” he mumbled. “I didn’t know what I was talking about.” His mom appeared in the doorway, clearly having overheard. “Well, kid or not, you’ve always been a man of your word,” she said with a knowing smile. You couldn’t help but laugh, though your heart was racing at the implications of what his parents were saying. You glanced at Jay, whose flushed face and shy smile were a far cry from his usual confident self. “Is that true, Jay?” you teased gently, your eyes sparkling. He met your gaze, his cheeks still tinged pink, but there was a steadiness in his eyes that made your breath catch. “Maybe,” he admitted, his voice low but sincere. “But I didn’t expect my parents to ambush me with it the first time I brought you here.” His dad laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “We’re just happy to see you this way, son. It’s been a long time since you’ve looked this content.” Jay gave a small, embarrassed smile but didn’t deny it “Well, now that we’ve embarrassed Jay enough for one evening,” his mom said, stepping forward with a twinkle in her eye, “why don’t we get started with dinner? I hope you like Galbi JJim Y/N.” “I do Mrs. Park.”, you said while sliding into the chair next to Jay, grabbing his hand under the dinner table as his parents started excitedly talking about how they were so glad to meet you. He gave it a slight squeeze. 

All feedback and reblogs is welcome ⭑.ᐟ

Thank you so much for reading! Lots of Love

ᝰ taglist. @firstclassjaylee @50-husbands @enhaprettystars @vantxx95 @stormy1408 @fancypeacepersona @jaylvrsworld @xylatox

ᝰ an.Thank you so much for the love on pt. 1 of thise series. I hope you enyjoy this part just as much! I am so sorry to Han for making him an asshole in here :((( I did love writing for Jay and this was about 60k, just them being cute .ᐟ₊ ⊹  

[kissracing]

A-O-T-Y, I did win!, lewis hamilton

summary. singer-songwriter yn ln has not won an album of the year award at the grammys—until 2025!

featuring. lewis hamilton x black!female!reader (faceclaim beyonce)

this fic includes. . . swearing, i lowkey made this a yn centered fic rather than lewis by accident ? idk how much sense that makes.

twitter • fan accounts • grammy nominations

instagram • yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, cocojones, and others

yourusername 11 Nominations? Absolute insanity, thank you to the Recording Academy, and to all my fans who enjoyed COWBOY CARTER. Here’s some extra CC photos I took but never posted :) 🤠🍯🐝

♥︎ 2.4M 💬 81.5k ➢

lewishamilton 📌 Congratulations my love. You worked so hard on this album and it’s showing off ❤️🐝

⤷ yourusername love you Lew 🤍

user THIS YEAR WILL BE OUR YEAR BEEHIVE 🙏🏽

user ZOOO WEEE MAA GOD LORDDDT

user how can lewis handle allat 😒

theestallion ❤️❤️❤️

user CAN LEWIS FIGHT???

user if ya ya doesn’t win, im rioting

user why didn’t u post these sooner 🥀🥀🥀

user 2nd photo is so cunty wow

alexandrasaintmleux Congratulations omggg 💗🐝

➥ user ferrari wags supporting each other 🥹🥹

user are you performing queen pleek say yes

⤷ user you know good n well she won’t be performing lmaooo

⤷ user A GIRL CAN HOPE 😭

user AOTY WILL BE YOURS

twitter • fan accounts • grammy day

instagram • yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

yourusername What an insane ass night 🥹! 3 awards including Album of the Year!! Thank so much to the 13,000 members of the recording academy and as well as my fans for supporting me no matter what. Love you all, see you soon 🏆🥇

♥︎ 3.1M 💬 90.5k ➢

lewishamilton AOTY, You did win! 😉❤️🐝

⤷ yourusername Cornball 😭🤍

user the emphasis on the 13,000 members LMFAOO

user “see you soon” that better be a tour announcement lady

user the different stages of emotions we were going through on twitter yall

alexandrasaintmleux Gorgeous !!! 💗

user SHE FINALLY WON AOTY!!! I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOTHER 🥹☝🏽

user you look so damn good girl GAH DAMN

user lewis can handle all of that wow

user AND THIS WAS JUSTICE FOR YA YA NOT WINNING 🗣️

⤷ user AND SPAGHETTII

lilymhe Yn celebratory party at my house 🗣️🫶🏼

lando can i get free tickets to the tour please 🤲🏻

⤷ yourusername No big mouth.

⤷ lando ☹️☹️ PLEASE

⤷ user SO THERE WILL BE A TOUR???

user they mad asl on twitter BUT WDGAFF 🗣️

user one of her best looks

user you might wanna change that lyric in sweet honey buckiin queen

user MOTHERR

user her speech was so cute ☹️☹️

instagram • lewishamilton

liked by yourusername, doechii, and others

lewishamilton My winner 🏆🙌🏽 I’m so proud of you baby it’s not funny. Congratulations on everything you’ve done, you deserve it so so much ❤️

♥︎ 1.0M 💬 45.3k ➢

yourusername 📌 You’re sleeping on the couch.

⤷ lewishamilton Cmonnn the photo is funny 😓!!

⤷ yourusername You’re gonna be demoted to Roscoe’s house if you keep it up.

⤷ lewishamilton Sorry ma’am 🫡

⤷ user my parents ohhh 😭😭💗💗

user the photo of her and alicia omg

user THE FIRST SLIDE????

user love a man who stands 10 toes down for his wife ☝🏽

user SHES A CUTIE PATOOTIE 😭

user THE 4TH PHOTO LMFAOO

user the 2nd photo ohhh i love her so much

lando Going through the 5 stages of grief was worth it 🤞🏻

⤷ user EXACTLY LMFAO

user buying me a bottle of sir davis

user trying to get them tickers for the tour is gon be absolute hell 🥀☹️

authors note. uh.. this barely has lewis in it LMFAOO?? im SO sorry if this bothers you 😭!! trust i have another fic with beyonce as a fc for lewis and he’s in it a lot more 🫶🏽 (might make it a universe cus i love beyonce & lewis so) i just wanted to get this out cus it was rotting away since early march!

[agustdtown1]

CLOSER TO YOU [TEASER]

PAIRING: nerdy!roommate!jungkook x OF!reader.

SUMMARY: After getting various comments about your poor filming skills for your OF page, you finally decided to give in and reach out to the one person that could help you with your problem. However, what started as your roommate just helping you to film your video turned into you begging him to fuck you.

How long would it take for Jungkook to finally give in? After all, all he ever wanted was to be closer to you.

WC (teaser): 615, final work is almost 10k

WARNINGS (teaser): swearing, sexual themes, allusion to masturbation, it’s not explicitly stated but reader is fully naked, reader being a little menace and jk being completely whipped for her. The rest of the warnings will be added to the final fic.

A/N: not me coming back here after almost a year of not writing anything. I don’t have any further explanation aside from the fact that my life changed a lot and I got way busier than I thought I would, I also kinda lost inspiration and motivation to write so… there’s that, hopefully with this new fic I’ll be back to writing more often and being active. n e way, enjoy your reading and lmk if u wanna be tagged for the final fic! <3

masterlist

“Kook…” You breathed out, “I need you.”

It was so subtle, so fleeting the smugness that covered his face for a brief instant that you barely noticed. His eyes widened and his lips moved like that of a fish trying to survive out of the water, he didn’t know what to do, much less what to say. 

“Me?” He whispered, completely clueless of the effect he was having on you in that moment. You nodded, fingers stilling in between your legs. “Wh-What do you mean?”

You sat up, stopping the filming once again. “Exactly what I said, I need you… I-I need your help with something else. You can say no, but… I would be forever grateful to you if you said yes.”

Jungkook was putting to use his 128 IQ score to try and understand what you were hinting at, but none the wiser, he needed the words spelled out to him to get your idea. And so, as softly as possible, you explained what your need was actually about. You noticed the way his body reacted to you and the show you were putting on for your viewers but more specifically for him; it was painfully obvious how much he desired you, and in all honesty, you weren’t any better. 

Ever since you two started living together, you swore that you wouldn’t act on the small and silly crush you developed for him after meeting for the first time. It was just a silly attraction that wasn’t worth the hassle of getting involved with your roommate; his built body and big biceps drove you crazy, and you couldn’t turn a blind eye to the intricate tattoos adorning his arm, which was such a stark contrast to the type of man he made himself out to be; the lip ring shining from his mouth was so painfully enticing, and more often than not, you found yourself wondering what it would feel like against your lips while kissing the life out of him. And God bless the person that gets you started on how much you loved those black rimmed glasses that adorned his eyes almost 24/7, giving him a geeky look that would never fail to make you weak in the knees. But all of those features, as well as the lewd scenarios conquering your mind minutes before going to sleep, had made it difficult for you to stay in your lane all this time. Tonight, however, might be your one and only chance to turn your dirty dreams into reality, only and only if Jungkook agreed to your idea.

“I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.” He murmured, looking down at the floor and avoiding your hopeful eyes glaring at him. You reached out for him, your soft hands coming in contact with his covered thighs while you kneeled in front of him. “Y/n… don’t do this to me.” His whole body stiffened, fighting the urge to jump your bones and turn you into a crying mess just like he always imagined.

“You don’t want me like that, Kookie?” You so innocently asked, lashes fluttering against your cheekbones. “Is that the real problem, hm?” Your hands were sliding up and down his thighs, teasing him.

“God, no.” He answered breathlessly, “You have no fucking idea how bad I want you…”  

“Then why don’t you show me? What’s stopping you, hm?” Your cheek resting on his jean-covered thigh elicited a soft gasp from your roommate. “It's just a small favor.” 

“I… fuck, you’re driving me crazy right now.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends while letting out a frustrated groan. Jungkook took off his glasses while rubbing his eyes before looking at you again. “You have to promise… you really have to promise that it will be a one-time thing. No more favors after this, at least not of this caliber.” 

You nodded eagerly, looking at him with a spark in your eyes. “I promise, just this time.” 

“Okay,” Jungkook nodded, “I’ll help you with anything you need.”

[jungkoode]

死 KKANGPAE | #14 死

† camping trip mysteries †

"You'd have never said you'd be involved in a Council of 9 meeting at any point in your life; yet here you are, suddenly thrusted into a mission with the Chief you've just hooked up with, because your life couldn't possibly get more complicated."

next | index

⚔ chapter details ⚔

word count: 9k

content: female friendships, silly conversations, Vyunjin, dodgeball, AD being horrible with throws, cryptic stuff, council meetings, having to work with jeon officially, gang loyalty and bestie gossip

☠ author's note ☠

 I really milked this camping trip for all it's worth, huh? Three whole chapters of outdoor shenanigans! I regret NOTHING. Anyway, here's the conclusion of our little nature excursion! Hope you enjoyed this slightly more chill setting (apart from, y'know, chapter 12's 👉🏻👌🏻 situation) because don't worry—there's PLENTY of time for everything to go spectacularly to shit later <3

MY KIWI HEAD 🥝🤧 I genuinely love him so much and I'm as surprised as you are! Who would have thought?? I seriously had ZERO intentions for Takama when I started this—no plan, no backstory, nothing. He just showed up in my brain one day demanding rights.

Maybe I love him so much because he's the only one with more than two functioning brain cells? Like, the man is just... chill. Nice. Using his fucking brain. Being all wise and grounding while everyone else is having emotional crises left and right. THE VOICE OF REASON IN THIS CIRCUS.

Takama x Reader endgame??? Jkjk this is a Jeon Jungkook fanfic ☝️ ...which doesn't mean shit won't happen before/after 👀

ANYWAY I'll leave you to make your own assumptions about our kiwi boy. All I'm saying is that sometimes characters write themselves into your heart and there's nothing you can do about it. Is it just me as an author having unhealthy attachments to my own creations? PROBABLY! You tell me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry about my fictional characters for the fifth time this week. It's only Tuesday. Send help.

xoxo 💋

⚔ socials ⚔

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tumblr/twitter: @jungkoode

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

The morning hike with Chaewon was exactly what you needed—fresh air, quiet trails... No drama.

But of course, you can't have nice things in Kkangpae.

Not when you return to find V lounging on a log like some tragic hero while J-Hope patches up his split lip.

"What the hell happened here?"

You eye the scene, already getting a headache. The thorny scent of roses fills your lungs as V gives you what immediately recognize as a smug smile.

"Just a little disagreement." V's smile is all teeth despite his busted lip. "Jeon can get rather feisty when he wants to."

J-Hope just rolls his eyes, clearly done with V's bullshit. He hands you a sanitary napkin without looking up, too busy sorting through his medical supplies—which basically means please help me deal with this drama queen.

You crouch next to V, ignoring how his eyes track your movement like he's a cat and you're the bird he wants to catch. The napkin comes away bloody when you dab at his lip, and his body tenses slightly under your touch—barely noticeable if you weren't trained to pick up on these things.

"Careful now." His voice drops low, playful. "I might bite."

You don't miss a beat.

"You bite, you get no help." The words come out flat, unimpressed. "I'm not one of your fangirls, V."

His games might work on others, but you've seen enough of his thorny side to know better.

Those roses have teeth.

A low chuckle breaks the tension. J-Hope's back with his medical supplies, but V's still watching you—though now with something that might be respect.

Or whatever passes for respect in that thorny mind of his.

"You really had it coming this time." J-Hope clicks his tongue, cranky doctor mode fully activated as he settles back down. "Jeon isn't someone you poke for fun without expecting consequences."

"Me?" V's eyebrow shoots up, all wounded innocence. "I was just having a friendly chat. Who knew our brooding Chief still had some fight left in him?"

The act doesn't fool anyone—especially not J-Hope, who (you bet your ass) has been patching up the aftermath of V's friendly chats' for years.

"Friendly chat?" J-Hope scoffs, dabbing at V's lip with more force than strictly necessary. "You two always turn everything into a dick-measuring contest. One of these days someone's gonna end up with worse than a busted lip."

V leans toward you like he's sharing a secret, mischief written all over his features. "He's just worried he'll run out of medical supplies if we keep this up."

You expect J-Hope to snap back—he usually does when people get like this.

But he just sighs, shoulders heavy with a worry that feels too genuine for the Kkangpae's ruthless doctor.

"Or maybe I'm worried you'll end up with a split skull, dumbass."

It's weird, the way it dribbles from his lips—like actual concern.

Which is weird in a place like this, where caring too much can get you killed. But then again, J-Hope's always been different. Maybe that's why he's one of the few people V actually listens to.

Sometimes?

V's eyes meet yours, like he's either hunting for something or escaping whatever was swirling in the doctor's pupils. Though, as everything with V, it vanishes instantly behind that shark-like grin.

"Ah, Hobi, always looking out for me. What would I do without you?"

"Probably be lying in a ditch somewhere." J-Hope says it casually, but his snark feels less blunt now. 

He gives V's shoulder a quick pat—kinda saying 'you're patched up, now get out of my face.' V nods his thanks, but his attention is already sliding back to you. His gaze lingers a bit too long, assessing.

"You've got a steady hand," he drawls, and you know he's not just talking about your first aid skills.

Thorns prickle your skin.

"And you've got a death wish." You hand the bloody napkin back to J-Hope, keeping your voice flat.

Unimpressed.

V's laugh shatters in the quiet. "Oh, you're interesting. I like you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" You arch an eyebrow at him. "Coming from someone who just got his ass handed to him by Jeon, I'm not sure how much that's worth."

His smile widens; ever so slightly. Like what you said made him feel something—bad or good, you really don't care, but it's like his vines are slowly creeping into your lungs.

You just sigh, shrug it off. It's not your problem.

You've got enough on your plate without getting caught up in whatever dick-measuring contest is going on between V and Jeon.

Your attention abruptly shifts to Takama, sitting cross-legged in the grass like some zen master on his coffee break. Despite looking perfectly relaxed with his can of coffee, you know better—the man's probably cataloguing every movement in a three-mile radius.

He's just that kind of observant. It's just how he is, what he does, that much is clear from your training sessions with him.

Persistent without being belligerent; consistent without being insistent.

It's weird seeing him in casual clothes. The navy sweater and white collar combo is a far cry from his usual tactical gear, making him look almost... normal. Like he could be anyone's slightly intimidating older brother instead of Jeon's deadly second-in-command. Even his loose jeans seem deliberately chosen for comfort rather than combat.

He doesn't move a muscle as you approach, eyes fixed on the horizon like his mind has found refuge among the spongy dunes skittering away in the sky.

Or maybe he's just really into his morning coffee.

You plop down beside him, the damp grass immediately soaking through your pants because of course it does.

"Peaceful morning, isn't it?"

You break the silence, knowing Takama won't. Man's got the conversation skills of a particularly stoic rock when he wants to.

There's something calming about his presence though.

Like he's the drizzle after the hurricane.

Plus, he probably won't try to murder anyone over breakfast. Unlike some people you could name.

"Peace is rare around here." The corner of Takama's mouth quirks up slightly. "Savor it while it lasts."

You settle into the comfortable silence, watching the horizon paint itself in morning colors. Next to Takama, even coffee breaks feel philosophical.

"You and V," he starts, offering you the can. "You get along?"

You grab it and take a sip, considering your answer. The coffee's gone lukewarm.

"Hmm."

Yeah that's your answer, because you don't really know what to reply. It's definitely not a yes, but you don't... hate him either?

"He's a wildcard, but I can handle him," is what you end up settling for.

What follows is Takama's laugh—quiet, understated like everything else about him.

"V is... unpredictable. But he's loyal to the gang, in his own way." He pauses, choosing words carefully. "Just watch your back. Testing people is how he entertains himself."

You pass the can back, watching him take another sip. The liquid works through a swallow down his throat, and his Adam's apple bobs slightly. His head tilts towards you when he notices you've gone silent.

"And Jeon? How do you find working with him?"

The question makes your skin prickle, and you know it's not because of how sudden it is—but because of something else, as well.

Images from last night force their way through your mind like a wiggling worm unwilling to let go—callouses on skin, that silver lip ring, the way he'd touched you like you might break.

You take your time answering, very aware that this is Jeon's right-hand man asking—and that your neck probably still has marks his mouth left behind.

But you're not about to tell Takama that.

"He's... intense." You focus on shredding a blade of grass, needing something to do with your hands. "But we kind of... get each other, I guess."

Takama finally looks at you, and fuck—there's way too much understanding in those gray eyes.

Because with V you have a noncommittal answer.

But you just said you get along with Jeon. Kinda.

He doesn't comment on it, and it makes sense—being Jeon's second means he probably sees more than most.

About how hard exactly it is to be in Jeon's circle. Not part of it, not even near—just hovering.

It's not easy, you know that much.

"Jeon respects strength," he says quietly, like he's sharing a secret. "Stand your ground, and you'll earn his respect."

A pause. Then he adds, hushedly:

"Maybe more."

Your pupils flicker between his, trying to parse whatever the hell he means—but nothing in there gives you a hint.

He simply smiles, getting up and helping you up too.

You both turn back to watch the camp wake up, the morning routine starting to buzz around you.

Someone's cursing about cold showers. Someone else is complaining about AD.

You take another sip of lukewarm coffee, letting the bitterness ground you. It's easier than thinking about what maybe more might mean, or why your stomach churns at the thought.

Besides, you've got enough on your plate just dealing with regular Jeon.

You don't need to add cryptic messages to that mess.

The peaceful morning doesn't last long—because this is Kkangpae you're talking about.

Moon's voice cuts through your post-gossip haze, drawing everyone to the center of the camp like a very formal shepherd. Some people look about as thrilled as you feel about being up this early.

"All right, everyone!" He's got that tone—the one that says 'this is mandatory fun and you're going to like it.' "For today's lunch, we're doing something different. Group bibimbap, but with a twist: you'll work in pairs."

A ripple of murmurs spreads through the crowd. You catch Takama's eye—he just raises an eyebrow like 'here we go again'.

"These pairings," Moon continues, all business in his long coat despite the casual setting, "are chosen to mix different divisions and personalities. It's about teamwork and learning from each other."

You barely hold back a snort. Trust Moon to turn lunch prep into a team-building exercise.

Your attention snaps back when he calls out, "Y/N, you're paired with JM. I expect great things from you two."

Well, that could've been worse. At least JM's not likely to stab you over vegetable chopping techniques.

When you reach him, he's already smiling that gentle smile that makes him look more like a kindergarten teacher than a gang's financial mastermind.

"Looks like we're a team." His voice matches his whole vibe—calm as a lake on a windless day. "Any ideas on what we should tackle?"

You're about to answer when a groan cuts through your chat with JM.

You turn to see AD looking like someone just deleted his gaming setup, while J-Hope's already got that 'done with this shit' smile plastered on his face.

"Bro, why the fuck am I always paired with your annoying ass?" AD slumps against a tree, all dramatic like the gremlin he is.

J-Hope just rolls his eyes. "Because Moon loves to torture me, that's why. Come on, let's just get this over with."

Your eyes inevitably roam around the clearing, taking in the other pairings.

Jeon and Chaewon—they acknowledge each other with matching professional nods, something like 'we respect each other but let's keep this strictly business' hovering over them.

Takama and Jessi make an oddly perfect pair, his zen energy somehow containing her wildfire spirit as they huddle together, already plotting.

V's got Yunjin trapped in what looks like his usual chaotic storytelling, though she seems to be holding her own—and then there's Eunchae and Sakura, who look like they're planning to turn lunch prep into some kind of competition.

Meanwhile, Kazuha's hanging onto Moon's every word like he's sharing the secrets of the universe instead of just bibimbap instructions.

"So." JM's gentle voice pulls you back. "Should we handle the veggies? I think we could make a great team in chopping and prepping them."

"Sounds good to me." You find yourself matching his easy smile. "Let's show them how it's done."

At least someone in this chaos circus knows how to be normal.

You follow JM to gather supplies, falling into an easy rhythm. His gentle energy is oddly reassuring, and makes even veggie prep feel zen.

Plus, he actually knows what he's doing, which is more than you can say for half the pairs around you.

Because AD's already whining about something while J-Hope ignores him completely.

Yeah; that's Kkangpae for you.

But then you catch sight of V with Yunjin and your stomach turns, why, you don't know. Poor Yunjin's holding her knife like she's never seen one before, eyes darting around nervously.

And its knives, so yeah, V swoops right in.

"Let me show you," he purrs, and fuck him for actually sounding smooth.

You see his hand sliding over hers, like he isn't the same person who had blood on his lip an hour ago.

"There's a rhythm to it, like a dance." You watch him press closer, caging Yunjin with his body while he guides the knife. "Feel the movement. It's about confidence, purpose."

"Like this?" Yunjin's voice is small, breathless.

"Exactly like that." He eases into it. "Every slice tells a story of precision and care. And you, Yunjin, have a knack for it."

You grip your own knife tighter, fighting the urge to stab those thorny vines right out of the air. He's charming, you'll give him that.

But you fear the sweet floral scent roses simply masks decaying waste underneath.

And he needs to stay the fuck away from Yunjin.

You can't help noticing how she melts under his attention, all shy smiles and batting eyelashes. Like a moth drawn to a particularly deadly flame.

"There, you're a pro now." V steps back with a wink.

"Thanks, V." Yunjin beams up at him. "I think I've got it from here."

A slight movement catches your eye—JM's knife has stopped mid-chop.

His gaze darts between V and Yunjin like he's watching a car crash in slow motion, and it's real subtle, but you catch the way his jaw tightens.

"JM," you keep your voice casual, "you seem a bit distracted. Everything okay?"

He snaps back to his vegetables, gentle smile sliding back. "Oh, it's nothing. Just... observing the dynamics. It's interesting to see how different personalities interact, don't you think?"

You nod, watching V circle Yunjin. "True. Especially with V. Makes you wonder what goes on behind that smile."

"Exactly." His smile is halfhearted at best. "Sometimes, the most cheerful faces hide the deepest stories."

The way he says it makes you wonder just how many of V's stories JM knows.

And how many of them keep him up at night.

You and JM fall into a comfortable rhythm again, just hearing AD complaining about something, Eunchae's bright laughter, the clatter of pots and pans.

Then—crash.

Your head snaps up, muscles tensing automatically. Old habits die hard in Kkangpae.

It's Chaewon.

She's standing frozen, an overturned pot at her feet, staring at one of Jessi's guys like she's seen a ghost. His hand hangs awkwardly in the air where it had brushed against hers. You can see her breathing speed up—tell-tale sign of panic she's never shown before.

JM's knife stills mid-chop. Before you can blink, he's already moving toward her.

Jessi's there too, quickly motioning for the guy to back off—and he does, looking confused and apologetic, but you notice how Chaewon's shoulders drop slightly once he's out of reach.

JM murmurs something to her, too low for you to hear (though you bet that gentle voice of his could probably talk down a rabid bear). Chaewon gives a tiny nod, but her knuckles are still white where she's gripping her sleeve.

When Jessi touches her shoulder, you catch that silent conversation between the three of them.

The kind that comes from knowing someone's demons intimately.

"Alright, everyone, back to work." Jessi shouts. "Nothing to see here. Let's keep the focus on the task at hand."

Everyone turns back to their tasks, but you don't miss how JM stays close to Chaewon, or how Jessi's eyes keep scanning the crowd like she's daring anyone to make this worse.

JM hovers near her for another minute before coming back to your chopping station, and when he does, he picks up his knife and starts slicing carrots like nothing's happened at all.

"Guess we all have our off days, huh?" You keep your voice light, casual. No pressure.

JM's knife stills for a moment. He doesn't look up.

"Everyone has ghosts they're running from." The words come out soft. "Some just hide them better than others."

You let the silence settle. There's an unspoken rule in the gang—you don't go digging in other people's graveyards unless they hand you the shovel first.

"I'm gonna wash up," you mutter, already heading for the makeshift sink, feeling like he needs some silence before being back to normal.

Behind you, JM's knife resumes its path against the cutting board.

You're shaking water off your hands when footsteps approach from behind. Months in Kkangpae have taught you to be alert even for something as mundane as washing up after veggie prep.

"So you do know how to clean up."

The low drawl sends heat crawling up your spine. You know that voice—and the smirk that goes with it—without having to turn around.

"Turns out, I'm full of surprises." You flick excess water in Jeon's direction, catching his dangerous half-smile when you glance over your shoulder.

His chuckle hits you right in the gut, deep and rich and —fuck—suddenly all you can think about is last night.

His hands, his mouth, the way he'd made you shatter.

"Surprising indeed." There's that smug tone again. "Especially since I recall someone being too fucked out to help with cleanup duty."

"Well," you drop your voice low, just for him, "if you hadn't made such a goddamn mess, there'd have been less to clean up."

Your body remembers how close you'd been—how you'd ground against each other like teenagers, desperate and needy.

How his cock had felt pressed against you, so close but not close enough because someone didn't bring protection.

The frustration from last night still burns under your skin, reminder of what could have been.

If he'd just been prepared...

Jeon steps closer, and—fuck—even after last night, his presence still makes your skin prickle.

"A mess, you say? The way I remember it, you were just as responsible for the chaos."

"Chaos?" You meet his gaze head-on, refusing to back down even as heat crawls up your neck. "Don't flatter yourself, Jeon. It was... mild disarray at best."

His grin widens, and you hate how your eyes keep tracking that stupid lip piercing.

"Mild disarray? You were panting like you'd run through every back alley in Seoul."

You scoff, trying not to remember how he'd made you shake, how his hands had felt mapping every inch of you.

"Breathless, maybe. But let's not blow it out of proportion."

"Hah." His eyes narrow. "You've got a sharp tongue. But we both know—"

A shout from across the camp makes you both freeze. Your eyes meet his for a split second before you step apart, smooth as shadows. Professional. Like you weren't just thinking about climbing him like a tree.

Again.

You turn away, finally letting out that breath you'd been holding.

The banter gets you hot under the collar but fuck if you don't want more. Not that you'll admit that.

Even if part of you is already plotting round two.

This time with actual protection. Because seriously.

"Anyway," his voice cuts through your thoughts, "we should get back to work. Long day ahead."

"Right." You nod, and then go right back to prepping veggies.

Yeah. This is going to be a very long day indeed.

The smell of bibimbap hits different after spending all morning chopping vegetables next to JM's weirdly zen energy.

And yup—everyone's gathering around the portable tables, looking stupidly proud of their contributions like they didn't just spend half the morning complaining about Moon's team-building exercise.

You grab a spot next to Yunjin, who's already halfway through telling you about her latest drama obsession; eyes practically sparkling as she waves her chopsticks around.

"No but listen—the main lead thinks his brother died in that fire, right?" She leans in close, pink hair falling in her face. "But then in episode sixteen we find out he's actually been alive this whole time! Living in China!"

You nearly choke on your rice. "That's the most unrealistic plot twist I've ever—"

"Mind if I join?" Takama's calm voice slices through Yunjin's enthusiastic plot summary; slight smile that makes him look more like a monk than Jeon's deadly second-in-command.

"Pull up a chair." You scoot over to make room. "Yunjin's educating me on the finer points of melodrama."

"Ah." His eyes crinkle as he settles in. "The ones where everyone's secretly related and nobody stays dead?"

"Exactly!" Yunjin beams. "Like this one where the brooding CEO's got a secret relationship—"

"Should've fought harder for the meat distribution," you murmur, poking at your mostly vegetable bibimbap.

Before you can finish sighing about your protein deficiency, Takama's chopsticks appear in your line of sight, depositing a generous portion of beef onto your plate.

"Here. I prefer vegetables anyway."

"Liar." But you're already mixing the meat into your rice, trying not to look too pleased. "Thanks."

Yunjin pouts at that, surely expecting some meat too (even when her plate shows basically 0 vegetables anyway). You kick her under the table, and she almost bounces with a chuckle.

"So, V's actually a really good teacher," she says dreamily, pushing her rice around. "Did you know he used to work in a restaurant?"

You cough.

V's "restaurant" experience probably involved more knife-work than cooking.

"Is that so?" Takama asks, slightly puzzled.

"Mhm!" She sighs, all starry-eyed. "And he's so patient. The way he showed me how to hold the knife—"

"Speaking of knives," Takama cuts in smoothly, "your technique has improved, Y/N. Been practicing?"

You're grateful for the subject change. Watching Yunjin moon over V is like watching a butterfly land on a Venus flytrap.

"Yeah, well. Can't let the Seduction Division down, right?"

His smile is small but genuine. "Right."

Movement then catches your eye—Chaewon's heading your way, black bob bouncing with each step. She smiles when she spots you, but you don't miss how she falters slightly when she notices Takama. Her eyes dart between him and the empty space beside you, calculating.

For a second, you think she might turn around.

But then she simply strides over like she owns the place, sliding into the spot next to you.

You don't miss how she angles her body away from Takama, though.

"What's got everyone looking so serious?" She bumps your shoulder playfully. "Don't tell me Yunjin's got you all hooked on her dramas too."

"Not all of us can be as cultured as Yunjin." You grin as Yunjin pretends to be offended. "We were just discussing the finer points of V's... cooking techniques."

That makes Yunjin blush, but Chaewon's eyes sharpen. You catch that protective glint—the same one she gets whenever any of the male members get too close to her division.

"Oh?" Her voice is light, but there's steel underneath. "And how did you find our resident psychopath's teaching methods?"

"Come on, he was really patient!" Yunjin pipes up. "And his hands were so—"

"Speaking of hands," Chaewon interjects quickly, "I heard there was quite the incident at morning coffee. Something about Jeon's right hook meeting V's face?"

Trust Chaewon to steer the conversation away from V's charms while gathering intel in the same breath. Sometimes you forget she's your Chief for a reason.

Heels on grass make your eyes stutter behind Chaewon's silhouette.

It's Jessi; obviously—who claims the spot next to Takama, all long red hair and confident energy.

She's probably the only person who can make eating bibimbap look like a power move.

"Well, well." She waves her chopsticks at your little group. "What's this about dramas? Please tell me someone's finally calling out how unrealistic those chaebol storylines are."

"We were discussing layers," you explain, watching her pile kimchi onto her rice with the same precision she probably uses to plan weapons shipments. "You know, how people aren't always what they seem."

"Like how our fearless Chief here—" she angles her head towards Chaewon, "—pretends to be all business, but I caught her crying over cat videos last week?"

"That was one time." Chaewon tries to glare but can't quite hide her smile. "And you promised not to tell."

"Please." Jessi snorts. "Everyone knows you're a softie under all that badassery. Remember when you threatened to shoot that guy who made Eunchae cry?"

"He deserved it." Chaewon's voice goes flat, protective instincts flashing. "Nobody messes with my girls."

"And that's exactly what we mean," Yunjin pipes up, somehow making even this observation sound sweet. "Everyone's got different sides. Like how Jessi acts tough but always saves the last strawberry milk for AD."

"Oi—" Jessi points her chopsticks at Yunjin threateningly, but there's no malice in it. "Just for that, you're testing all the new rifles when we get back to the castle. Someone needs to make sure they don't jam."

Something about the easiness of the conversation makes something unfurl in your chest.

It's weird seeing these deadly women just... being friends. Sharing lunch and inside jokes like they aren't some of the most dangerous people in Seoul.

But then again, maybe that's exactly what Yunjin meant about layers.

"Sooo," Jessi prompts, "who wants to share their deep dark secrets? Come on, don't be shy."

"Real subtle, Joo." Chaewon rolls her eyes, but you catch that tiny smile she always gets around Jessi. "What's next, trust falls?"

"I'd let you fall." Jessi winks, making Chaewon snort into her rice.

Takama, who's been quiet this whole time, surprises everyone by speaking up. "Sometimes the secrets we keep aren't about trust. Sometimes they're about protection."

"Like how we all pretend AD doesn't secretly feed the stray cats behind the castle?" Yunjin singsongs then.

That breaks the tension, sending ripples of laughter around the group.

Even Takama cracks a smile.

"Or how Jessi acts tough but cried during that dog commercial last week?" Chaewon dodges the grape Jessi throws at her head.

"That dog was reunited with its family," Jessi hisses, but she's fighting back a grin. "Forgive me for having a heart."

"Yeah, buried somewhere under those nine inch heels."

You smile at that, and you note how the sun is high over head now, warming skin through the trees.

You should probably get back to work—those intel reports won't file themselves. But for now, you let yourself enjoy this moment of peace.

Even gang members need lunch breaks sometimes.

Dodgeball is usually fun. Keyword: usually—because when it's among deadly people... competitiveness is too light of a word.

You're in the middle of debating some strategy with Yunjin when Jeon's presence immediately freezes the whole camp. One second you're planning how to take down AD's team (he might be a tech genius but his aim is shit), and the next—

"Meeting. Council of 9, now."

Jeon's voice is calm, as usual. But it's precise, blunt in a way that makes your hackles rise. His face gives nothing away—typical—but something in his posture screams urgent.

The Council members share quick looks before following him into the trees. Moon's already at his side, glasses catching the sunlight. Chaewon squeezes your shoulder as she passes, and Jessi winks at Yunjin, but neither stops to explain.

Just like that, your cozy little camping trip turns into a war room—playful energy from moments ago gone, leaving behind the familiar sensation that comes with being in a criminal organization.

"Damn." Yunjin drops onto the bench beside you, pink hair falling in her face. "Even on a camping trip, we can't escape the threats."

Your little lunch group now feels weirdly empty without Jessi's loud energy and Chaewon's dry comments. You catch yourself staring at the path where they disappeared, like maybe if you look hard enough you'll develop x-ray vision.

So much for that epic dodgeball tournament you'd planned. Although honestly? Getting hit with rubber balls suddenly seems like the least of your problems.

"It's just how things work around here." Takama shrugs, wiping sweat from his shaved head.

Of course the dodgeball game's been put on hold, everyone too distracted by the Council's sudden disappearance to focus.

"Hey, Takemichi!" Eunchae bounces over, still flushed from running around. "Any idea what's going on? You're like, Jeon's right hand and all."

Takama's eye twitches at the nickname, but he doesn't comment on it. "No clue. But Jeon doesn't call meetings without good reason. Especially not during planned activities."

Your eyes drift to where the Council members vanished into the trees. It's odd seeing Jeon actually interact with people—the man's about as social as a brick wall. Even J-Hope, who he supposedly tolerates, barely gets more than grunts out of him most days. That whole don't-fuck-with-me hurricane aura of his keeps everyone at a safe distance.

And yet.

You'd fucked him.

Well, kinda.

Heat crawls up your neck as you mentally reminisce about last night.

Pride mingles with something else as you remember that untouchable Chief's face when he came all over your belly.

Focus, dumbass. Now isn't the time to replay your greatest hits. If Jeon's gathering the Council in the middle of fucking dodgeball, something's definitely wrong.

"Do you think it's..." Yunjin chews her lip, lowering her voice. "MDF?"

The mention of Myung-dong Faction makes everyone's faces go pale.

"Hard to say." Takama's voice drops to barely above a whisper. "But we did just wreck their trafficking ring. Hanjun's gone now. They're not known for letting that kind of thing slide."

You share a look with Yunjin and Eunchae. You remember Hanjun from your last mission—the way he'd crumpled when Kkangpae was done with him.

The way his whole operation had fallen apart like a house of cards.

Sakura's usually bright face is serious as she crouches next to you. "If it's MDF, we're fucked."

"They've been too quiet." Kazuha runs a hand through her wine-colored hair, eyes scanning the treeline like she expects assassins to materialize. "That's not their style. Not after what we did to their golden boy."

And she's right, isn't she? MDF isn't known for their forgive-and-forget attitude. Their silence these past weeks has been... unsettling. Like holding your breath underwater, knowing you'll have to surface eventually.

"Whatever it is, we need to be ready." Eunchae sighs. "Can't let our guard down. Not even here."

"We need to be united now more than ever." Takama's voice rumbles low as he scans the treeline."Division only makes us vulnerable, they might aim for that."

And he's right; because Kkangpae's strength isn't just in its firepower—it's in moments like this, when everyone's got each other's backs.

"Whatever the Council needs," you say, meaning it. "We've got their six."

The group falls quiet, the forgotten dodgeball lying between you like some sad metaphor for your interrupted normalcy. Somewhere in the distance, a bird calls. You almost miss it under the sound of your heart pounding.

A rustle in the bushes makes you lean back.

Though it's just J-Hope, looking way too serious for someone who was laughing at AD's failed dodgeball throws ten minutes ago.

"They need you." His eyes find yours, steady and unreadable. "Jeon asked for you specifically."

You share a quick look with Takama, and he's wearing the same exact puzzled expression as you.

"Me? Why would he—"

J-Hope just shakes his head. Great. Because being summoned by the dude you almost fucked last night during a secret Council meeting isn't complicated enough.

But you don't really have much choice, so you trail behind J-Hope like a kid being called to the principal's office, mind racing faster than your heart.

What the actual fuck could Jeon want? And why during the middle of dodgeball, of all things?

The Council's little forest hideaway comes into view, and suddenly you've got nine pairs of eyes drilling into you.

Great. Just great. Nothing like being stared at by the most dangerous people in Seoul while you're in workout clothes and probably still red-faced from almost getting beaned by AD's wild throws.

Jeon stands like a statue among them, and he speaks immediately upon seeing you.

"We have a situation that needs your input."

No greeting, no explanation, just straight to the point. Pure Jeon. You'd roll your eyes if you weren't so aware of every Council member watching you.

"Remember your first mission?" Chaewon continues. "The women we rescued? You were the only one who actually saw them in that room."

Of course you remember—hard not to, even if you wish you wouldn't.

That cramped, dark room with its rusty bars and stale air. Women huddled in corners like broken birds, some too afraid to even look up when you'd entered.

Your first real taste of what the Seduction Division actually does.

Not the glamorous spy shit you'd imagined, but the ugly, necessary work of saving people from monsters.

"Remember what any of the women looked like?" Chaewon presses.

You try to remember, but the thing that comes first is the smell of fear and desperation—thick enough to choke on.

Then it's their faces. Burned into your brain. And then... hers.

"There was one girl," you start carefully, watching the Council's reactions. "Couldn't have been more than eighteen. Skinny thing, but her eyes..."

You pause, searching for the right words.

"Even in that shithole, she was... I don't know. Like she was just waiting for a chance to burn the whole place down."

You catch the tiny shift in Jessi's jaw, the way her fingers tighten around her weapon.

The air feels like a forest fire waiting to happen.

"Dark reddish-brown hair," you continue, the details getting clearer as you speak. "Matted to hell, but you could tell it was beautiful once. And the way she held herself..."

"That's enough." Jeon interrupts you. "Your recollection could prove useful. We believe that girl is connected to one of our own. This isn't some random MDF hit."

Your stomach drops. Because shit—that... That changes everything.

MDF might be brutal, but they're not stupid.

Kidnapping someone connected to Kkangpae? That's not just an attack—it's a message.

A very personal message.

You watch the Council's faces, trying to read between the lines.

If MDF knows enough to target someone specific, how much else do they know? How deep have they dug into everyone's past?

The thought makes your skin crawl.

"Now we know this is personal." Chaewon's voice is ice-cold, all business. "The question is, how do we respond?"

"We hit back." Jessi's voice cracks like a whip, raw and broken. "Show those fuckers what happens when you mess with Kkangpae."

J-Hope reaches for her shoulder, ever the voice of reason. "I know you want blood, Jessi. But an all-out war will only get innocent people killed."

Jessi jerks away from his touch, but you see how her hands shake. 

"I should've been there," she whispers, more to herself than anyone else. "I should never have left them alone."

The pain in her voice makes your chest tight; you've never seen Jessi like this—like she's barely holding herself together.

"Why don't we just storm their headquarters and slaughter them all?" V (who's been conspicuously quiet until now) raises his voice.

The guy is just leaning back against a tree, playing with a butterfly knife like he thinks he's the Joker or something.

"Picture it." His smile grows wider, more unhinged. "Their precious hideout painted red, bodies everywhere. We could string up their leaders—or what's left of them—as a warning."

JM gives him one look—one that somehow manages to pierce through V's psychotic haze. Like he's the only person besides RM who can actually rein him in when he gets like this.

V slumps back with an exaggerated pout, thorny aura receding slightly. The switch from bloodthirsty to playful is so fast it gives you whiplash.

"As entertaining as that sounds," JM's voice is steady, like a calm lake washing away V's chaos, "we need precision here. Not a bloodbath."

"You never let me have fun." V whines like a kid denied candy instead of mass murder. "But fine, we'll be civilized."

JM turns back to the Council. "Please continue. V's just... working through some things. He understands the need for balance."

Jeon's face gives nothing away, but you notice how his jaw tightens. Having to share space with V is bad enough—having to listen to his murder fantasies is clearly testing what little patience he has left.

"As I was saying..." Jeon continues.

JM gives V another one of those looks and V slumps against the tree.

The thorny scent of roses fades to something more bearable, though you can tell he's just waiting for another chance to suggest mass murder.

"I might have a better idea." AD clears his throat. "A bloodbath would be satisfying, sure, but we need intel first. Something clean and quiet that gives us some advantage."

You watch him run a hand through his messy blonde hair, thinking three steps ahead while looking like he just rolled out of bed.

"We know where their hideout is. Send in a small team, two people max. Get their data, their plans, their weak spots." He pauses, letting that sink in. "Information is better than bullets right now."

The Council members exchange looks. Even V stops fidgeting with his knife. You catch Jeon's shoulders relaxing slightly—he knows a good plan when he hears one.

"Stealth does play to our strengths," Jeon admits, and his eyes flick to you for a split second. "Who did you have in mind?"

AD jerks his chin toward you.

"She's perfect for this. Hanjun's well acquainted with Flower now, but Y/N? She was only there for the takedown. He never had time to report back about her or the other girls. But between all of them," he adds, "she's the only one who got to see all the girls."

Suddenly you've got nine of Seoul's most dangerous criminals staring at you. But you meet Jeon's gaze head-on, refusing to flinch.

Finally—a chance to prove yourself.

And maybe get some answers about what's really going on with MDF.

"She's just an ensign." JM mumbles. "She's gonna need backup."

The Chiefs exchange looks, probably running through a mental list of who they could trust not to fuck this up. Your heart's still pounding from being called in, from learning about this mission that could change everything.

"Jeon will lead this operation." RM's voice leaves no room for argument. Like he's announcing the weather, except the weather is your hookup being assigned as your partner.

Amazing, really love that for you.

"You're picking him for stealth?" V's voice goes high with indignation, like someone just insulted his knife collection. "I'm literally the Chief of Stealth Assassinations. What the actual fuck?"

Thorns prickle the air, sharp with offense. You definitely catch Jeon's tiny smirk—he's enjoying V's tantrum way too much.

"Jeon has the discipline this requires." RM's tone could freeze hell itself. "We can't afford your... creative interpretations of orders right now."

V opens his mouth—probably to suggest murdering everyone involved, knowing him—but JM slaps a hand over it. The look V gives him could kill a lesser man, but JM just raises an eyebrow.

"This mission's success is crucial." RM continues like V isn't plotting JM's death with his eyes. "We need strategy, not chaos."

You watch Jeon's face carefully. His expression gives nothing away, but you just know he's thinking the same thing you are:

How the fuck are you two supposed to focus on a stealth mission when you can barely keep your hands off each other?

"Come on," V's voice drags after getting rid of JM's hand, "we all remember how well these two work together. Like gasoline and a lit match. Either they'll kill each other or fuck like rabbits. Not ideal for a stealth op, eh?"

JM smacks his shoulder, but V just grins wider. Your face burns as Jeon goes rigid beside you, like a gathering strength.

If looks could kill, V would be six feet under from the glare Jeon's sending him.

You stare very intently at a patch of grass, fighting the urge to squirm, because V has no idea how close to home that "fucking like rabbits" comment hits.

Or maybe he does—you can never tell what that psycho actually knows.

"Enough." JM sighs. "RM's guidance is sound. Jeon, you're our best strategic mind. Tactical is probably our best approach right now."

Jeon's jaw works for a moment before he gives a sharp nod. "Understood. I'll lead the operation."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Stuck on a stealth mission with the guy you've secretly hooked up with, while his psychotic sworn enemy watches and makes sex jokes.

Just another day in Kkangpae.

"For now," RM's redirects the conversation swiftly, "let's focus on the task at hand. This camping trip was meant to build unity and trust. We can't lose sight of that."

Unity and trust.

Right.

Because nothing says team bonding like sending you and the guy you're dying to have sex with to infiltrate enemy territory while pretending you've never seen each other naked.

"There will be time later to prepare for the mission." He adds. "But while we're here, I expect everyone's full commitment to this team-building exercise."

Jeon surprises you by actually looking... chastened? as he gives RM a short nod. "You're right. My priorities were misplaced. I apologize for the disruption."

And that's... New. You've never heard Jeon apologize for anything.

But then again, RM's probably the only person in Seoul who could make him bow down. The amount of respect Jeon has for him is almost an entity of its own.

"No need to apologize." RM's stern expression softens slightly. "Let's refocus together on strengthening our bonds as a crew."

More team bonding. Because that's exactly what you need right now... bonding,̶ ̶o̶r̶ b̶o̶n̶i̶n̶g̶?̶

You give Jeon one last look before V's voice cuts through, all manic energy as usual.

"Last one back has to clean everyone's dishes!"

And then he just... takes off running like the psychopath he is, thorns receding with him. Because of course he'd turn this into a competition.

"Oh, fuck no!" Jessi kicks off her heels, already sprinting after him in bare feet. "I am not cleaning after his ass."

Chaewon and JM share this look—probably something like 'we're both too dignified for this shit' passing between them before they're running too, probably realizing nobody wants to risk V winning anything.

"How childish." J-Hope rolls his eyes, but AD's already got that gleam he gets when someone issues a challenge.

"Childish?" AD's grin is pure evil. "I bet I could eat enough for ten people. Give you something real nice to clean."

"You little shit—" J-Hope takes off after him. "Get back here!"

You glance back at Jeon and RM, both still walking like they're above such peasant activities.

But fuck it—you're already sweaty from dodgeball, might as well commit to the chaos.

"Think I'll take AD's strategy." You flash Jeon your sweetest smile. "Eat everything in sight, let someone else deal with cleanup."

You're running before he can reply, laughter bubbling up.

And then, merely a few second later, you hear his steady footsteps turn into something faster.

Looks like even the mighty Chief can't resist a challenge.

The campsite comes into view through the trees, and you pick up your pace.

You jog into the clearing, lungs burning, only to find V and RM already there.

What the actualfuck?

"How did RM beat us?" The words come out between gasps.

The man runs a criminal empire in designer suits, for fuck's sake. He shouldn't be able to outrun anyone.

V just grins that Cheshire cat smile of his and then, Jessi, Chaewon and JM stumble in next, all tangled together and cackling like teenagers.

"JM's face when I almost tripped him—" Jessi wheezes, red hair wild from running.

Everyone else filters in gradually, catching their breath and comparing notes on who cheated (definitely V).

But oddly enough, there's no sign (or sound) of J-Hope or AD.

Then—

"You absolute fucking cockwomble, let go before I rearrange your face!"

"Not happening, you lil' bitch. I'm not cleaning your blood off the floor again!"

You turn to find J-Hope and AD crashing through the underbrush like drunk bears, locked in what has to be the world's most undignified wrestling match. AD's blonde hair is full of leaves, and J-Hope's pristine turtleneck is covered in dirt.

Seoul's most dangerous gang, ladies and gentlemen.

Truly terrifying.

"You wanna fucking go, asshole?" AD thrashes like a feral cat, trying to land a hit on J-Hope. "I'll rip out your spine and use it as a fucking ethernet cable!"

But J-Hope's got him locked down, using his height advantage like the bastard he is. AD might be scrappy, but the doctor's got experience wrestling patients into submission.

"You need to get out of this unscathed first, you dumbass—"

"Then I'll download your consciousness into a punching bag," AD snarls, still fighting. "Have you getting hit for eternity, you piece of shit!"

Their little death match stumbles closer to camp. J-Hope's got AD in a headlock now, ignoring the increasingly creative threats being spewed at his face.

"I'll be patching you up after this, you psychotic gremlin." J-Hope finally slams AD into the dirt, probably enjoying this way too much. "Maybe I'll sew a live rat in your stomach. Let it chew its way out through your organs."

They keep wrestling, but it's getting pathetic—like watching two drunk uncles fight at a family barbecue. Both of them are red-faced and panting, shirts half-ripped from trying to hold each other back.

You can't help noticing they look wrecked—covered in sweat and leaves.

Actually...

"They must've been holding each other back the whole way here." You snort.

No wonder they're last. These idiots literally spent the entire race trying to murder each other.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" V's voice rings out like a demented game show host. "Our esteemed winners, graceful as ever!"

J-Hope and AD freeze mid-choke hold, finally noticing their audience.

The look of pure horror on their faces is priceless.

"Dish duty it is, boys!" Jessi's grin is absolutely feral.

AD shoves J-Hope off like an angry cat, but they're both too winded from their pathetic wrestling match to do more than hurl insults at each other.

"This is all your fucking fault!" AD jabs a finger at J-Hope's chest, looking about as threatening as a wet Pomeranian. "If you hadn't grabbed me—"

"My fault?" J-Hope's voice gets higher. "Big words from someone shaped like a fun-sized candy bar!"

"Say that again, you overgrown fucking giraffe!" AD tries to lunge but stumbles, still panting. "I fucking dare you!"

RM steps in before they can start round two of the world's most embarrassing fight.

"That's enough, you two. We all enjoyed the show, but it's time to work."

They both shut up immediately—even AD knows better than to test RM's patience. But the glares they shoot each other could probably melt steel.

"Can't believe I'm stuck with your ass for cleanup duty," AD grumbles, brushing leaves out of his blonde hair.

"Trust me, I'd rather perform surgery blindfolded. But maybe next time you'll think twice before dragging me down with you."

"As if I need help being slow from someone who runs like a drunk giraffe."

Their bickering fades as they head back to camp, still shoving each other like kindergarteners fighting over the last juice box.

Well. At least you'll enjoy a show during dinner time tonight.

One would think dinner time would be dulled down now, after the Council meeting earlier.

But nope—gang members are scattered around the fires like this is some post apocalypse scavenging situation.

You can't help watching V with Yunjin. He's leaning in close and probably whispering some bullshit about knives being romantic or whatever gets him going.

And Yunjin—sweet, perceptive Yunjin who usually sees right through everyone's bullshit—is eating it up. She's doing that thing where she plays with her hair, pink strands twisting around her finger while she giggles at whatever murder joke V's telling.

You snort into your food, because you just don't get what's it with these two.

The weirdest part? Even knowing what V's capable of (the rumors about his "artistic approach" to killing make your skin crawl), you kind of get why people fall for his act.

He's got that whole dangerous charm thing down to an art.

"Hey stranger!" Eunchae drops onto the bench beside you, nearly knocking over your drink. Sakura slides in more gracefully across from you, because someone in your division has to have coordination.

"What was the super secret meeting about? You went in looking normal and came out all..." Eunchae waves her chopsticks vaguely. "You know. Intense."

"Classified." You shrug, trying not to think about what that meeting means for you and a certain hurricane-aura'd Chief. "Above your pay grade."

"Ugh, you're no fun." She slumps dramatically against your shoulder. "I wish I could join the Council just to know all the juicy stuff."

"We're here if you need to talk," Sakura adds quietly, and fuck—sometimes you forget how perceptive your division can be.

"Thanks." You bump Eunchae's shoulder, warmth blooming in your chest. These idiots might be professional honey traps, but they're your idiots. "I mean it."

You go back to your food, half-listening to Eunchae's story about some mark who thought cryptocurrency was foreplay. But your eyes keep drifting to V and Yunjin.

What's your friendly neighborhood psychopath plotting this time?

However, the first drops of rain quickly hit your food like tiny bullets. Within seconds, the drizzle turns into a full-blown downpour because of courseit does.

Nothing like a surprise shower to end your deeply suspicious dinner observations.

"Oh, come on." Eunchae snatches up her plate, already running for cover, chestnut hair plastered to her face by the time she makes it three steps.

Your eyes snap to where V still has Yunjin trapped in conversation. They're both getting soaked but Yunjin's still hanging on his every word, pink hair turning darker in the rain.

"Yunjin!" You pitch your voice to carry over the rain. "Unless you want to catch pneumonia, might want to wrap it up!"

She blinks like she's coming out of a trance, finally noticing she's halfway to drowned. The spell breaks—thank fuck—and she hurries over to you, gathering her stuff with slightly shaky hands.

"Thanks for the save." Her voice is quiet, almost sheepish. "Got a bit... distracted."

"Yeah, no shit." You grab her arm, steering her toward your tent. "Let's get inside before we both melt."

You dodge through the chaos of gang members running for shelter, curses mixing with laughter. Someone—probably AD—slips in a mud puddle and lets out a string of creative profanity that would make a sailor blush.

The relative safety of your tent feels like crossing a finish line. The rain hammers against the canvas, but at least you're dry.

Well. Drier.

The rain doesn't let up for hours, turning the campsite into something out of a moody indie film. But inside your tent? It's like a sleepover bubble—wrapped up in cozy blankets and the glow from Yunjin's phone where some poor actor is having his third dramatic breakdown of the episode.

Yunjin's using your stomach as a pillow, pink hair splayed across your hoodie while she decimates the bag of chips between you. Every few minutes her hand dives in without looking, too focused on whatever absurd plot twist is happening now.

"This one's actually decent," she murmurs, smiling at the screen where someone's probably discovering their evil twin or something.

"If you say so." You can't help grinning as the male lead clutches his chest like he's having a heart attack over a text message. "These writers must be on something wild. Like, who comes up with this shit?"

Her giggle vibrates against your stomach.

"That's why they're fun! You never know what's coming next." She tilts her head back to look at you. "Kind of like living here, right? Never a dull moment in Kkangpae."

"God, don't jinx it." But you're laughing too because she's not wrong. Your life has definitely taken some drama-worthy turns lately. "Though I hope we're at least more realistic than that."

You both fall into easy conversation, trading comments about the show and today's chaos. When the male lead starts laying it on thick with the female lead, you see your chance. Time to figure out what the hell V was playing at earlier with all that knife teaching.

"So." You poke Yunjin's side with your toe, aiming for casual. "What's with you and V today? The whole knife lesson thing seemed... weird."

Yunjin doesn't look away from her drama. Of course she doesn't.

"I mean, have you seen him?" She sighs dreamily. "He's like a walking thirst trap. Those hands..."

"Oh my god." You stare down at her pink head in disbelief. "You'd actually fuck him? Like, actually actually?"

She finally tears her eyes from the screen, twisting to grin up at you with zero shame. "Why not? Life's too short not to ride at least one psychopath, right?"

The silence stretches.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at your horror. "You wouldn't?"

"Jesus fuck no." You mime gagging. "You know he probably has some weird murder kink. Like, he'd probably want to chase you through a haunted house with a knife while dramatic music plays."

"Haunt play?" Her eyes go wide  before she breaks into giggles. "That's... weirdly specific. But don't knock it till you try it, right?"

"Yun." You roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. "He'd probably set up a whole haunted house just to get his rocks off."

"Okay but..." Yunjin props herself up on her elbows. "Haunted house but make it sexy? That's kind of genius."

"You're actually insane." You shove her shoulder, both of you dissolving into laughter. "I swear to god, if I ever hear spooky music from his tent—"

"You'll what, call the ghost police?"

Her laughter shakes your whole body, bright and infectious, and the small space of the tent makes this ridiculous conversation feel somehow safer, more intimate.

Just two girls discussing their terrible taste in men while hiding from a storm.

Even if one of those men happens to be Seoul's most notorious psychopath.

Yunjin flops back down, using your stomach as a pillow again. The drama's still playing on her phone, but you're too busy thinking about V's games to focus on whatever chaebol drama is unfolding now.

"For now," she sighs dreamily, "I'll stick to living through these ridiculous romances. Much safer than the real thing, right?"

You hum in agreement, watching raindrops race down the tent's surface.

"Sounds smart. But if you do decide to test out V's haunted house kink..." You poke her side. "I want every single detail. For science."

"Deal." Her giggle vibrates against your stomach. "But only if you keep saving me from his 'passionate teaching moments'. My knife skills are fine, thanks."

"Always."

The word comes out softer than intended, but you mean it. In Kkangpae, real friendship is rare as fuck. People either want to kill you, fuck you, or use you—sometimes all three.

But Yunjin? She's different.

And all the while; the rain keeps drumming steadily against the canvas, turning the world outside into a blur of gray and green.

In here, none of that exists.

Not V's thorny games, not Jeon's hurricane, not the Council's secret meetings.

Just you and your best friend, safe and warm while the storm rages on.

For now, anyway. Tomorrow's another story.

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[thecutesyfishtank]

The cycle is repeating to a perfect T at this point, down to even interacting with minors while now an NSFW/18+ only blog. This really does just prove my whole point that Salem is actively fine making his audience more susceptible to grooming and now really makes me know he never changed.

(Some of the evidence here is from before people got informed the minor goes by he/him, so I want no one saying she/her under here or anything or I will block you because even the people when informed have from now on used he/him)

Also just a note. A note that should be fucking obvious since I've been harrassed myself before even any of this and then during some of this stuff because I'm vocal as fuck. Don't. Harrass. Anyone.

If you see this kind of shit they're doing it's better to just block and report. Wis' nazi shit? Report her. Salem being transphobic to other transpeople or ableist to other disabled people? Just report him. They aren't worth your time to harrass even.

No one is! No one is worth your time for this much stuff! The only reason I even made this post in the first place was awareness. Not cancelation. I wanted more people to wanna hold him accountable and not just sweep his grooming, asian racism, and fetishization of transfems aside. I wanted to believe he changed since I don't personally know him. The cycle is repeating to a T though. Even to the point he really trying to throw false accusations of Luluyam using aave and some people of his audience or Wis' saying she said the n word on one of her tracks. No proof, no nothing like the list upon lists I have put here, just said it and people went off.

Not to mention Wis especially associating with a r@pist, Majora(who has admitted it and even keeps changing her username because people also found out she lied about being a trans woman as an AFAB that was raised AFAB). And Salem just going with it, Salem. Sit down with me for a moment because I know you will somehow see this and vague me or some shit like Wis does too probably. There's such thing as just cutting someone off, but you refuse to. Why is it that you're fine with Wis using so much nazi speech against people mad at you for actual grief and trauma you have caused on them? Because if you weren't, you know what is something you could do? Talk to her and tell her to stop saying someone isn't their ethnicity or race(as a fucking white woman herself), tell her using nazi dog whistles isn't okay, and that she should probably seek help if she genuinely thinks calling someone a groomer without proof is okay when she has the same age gap as the person she's calling a groomer.

And last but not least, get the fuck away from children. Use the block button, you don't need minors stroking your ego. You have enough adults around you already, clearly, that do that. And if you wanna vague post this, I want you to not leave a single thing out, say how you're now knowingly interacting with someone outed as a minor. Say how you gf is being a nazi and even using things against people she says used these same tactics against her(ableism, transphobia, and such). If you all want me really to link every single post to show all that? Fine. Since I have to hold everyone's hand, let's go then.

^ Last one includes alot about r@pe

And the other ones I can fit as the same type of link so

More

More

More

This is the woman we're really treating as above it all and a god send for dating a black transmasc? Really? And how Salem has to know about all of this because it has been archived and everyone knows he's constantly checking the archive blog. So he knows, he just- doesn't care!

Wis even saying Luluyam is a fucking pedo-

Also just some... more ✨️sexualization✨️ of another culture

As well before you call this "drama"(referring to the countless dickriders that genuinely have nothing better to do than to try and discount others trauma because "But these are the artists I like and so they're always good! UmU"), how is making minors more susceptible to grooming "drama", how is harrassing and falsely accusing anyone with issues with you "drama", how is sexualizing other cultures and then blaming it on mental illness(in the Kungfu Revvy case) "drama"?

Is the only term you all have when you don't wanna listen to how people are having their lives harmed that "You're making a racist hate campaign, this is drama!"? Is that it? Okay, then show evidence that disproves all of this instead of running your fucking mouths like the crackers you are.

Since reblogs aren't allowed on this, I thought I would link to why people are mad at Puppy-chan rebranding to Salem.

Stop coddling people that have done racist things and even sent NSFW to minors and rbed NSFW back when he had a minor audience

I knew wolfertinger666 felt familiar the momemt I saw Tammy and Magna, but I refused to bring up what Salem did as Puppychan because I was scared people wouldn't believe me and instead keep believing Salem is innocent.

[corrupted-ciphers]

Thought this would be a fun project to work on! I <3 weird women. My thoughts on each of the characters below the cut. Version without names added below the cut as well.

Current Favorite: I love Junebug, she's been my blorbo recently, she's really weird. I love her. As I started this project though, I also started playing ENA Dream BBQ. I've been waiting for it for four years now, and damn was it worth the wait. It's a surreal game about ENA's adventures to find the b̷̸̸̡̧͇̜͎͙͙̥̥͚̫̪̩̩̏͑ͩ̓̇ͪ̋̑ͧ̂̃͊͋͘͝͡͝ͅ_̗̖͕͉̻ͯ̍̒ͤ̊́a̢͉̺̫̙̳͓̣̗͔̙̻̔͑̿͛͛̀̽͒̂̒ţ̡̧̼͙̰̥̳̹̻̍ͫ͋̌̏ͮͣ́̔ͯ͊̇ͤͪ͐̿̉ͫͨͧḩ̷̧̡̛̞̩̹͙̱͍̯͇͉̪̫̹̭͙̭͉͚ͬͯ̄̄͗ͯ̅̐̀́ͯ̈́͂̇͆̾͂͘͘͢͠r̾̆͢_̽̆ơ̶̸̡̡̛̠̥͓͔̪̲̥̥̱͙̲̲̫̖̽̊̎̎͒͊̅̔͐̄̈́̓̈́͊ͩ̂̋͘ͅȍ̶̢̙͕͍̰͓̖͉̼ͯ͆ͮͩ̓ͭͭ͑̿́́͢͝͠m̵̧̛̗͉͔̯̦͙̟̼̲̜̫̱͊͋̀̊͊ͯͤͬ͆ͭ̽̃̄̔̋̾͞. Chapter 1 is out now and free to play on Steam right now, and I highly recommend it! Anyway, Junebug is my girl, I love her.

Comfort: Okay, I know the reception ch 4 of Poppy Playtime has been receiving. Do I think chapter 4 is scary? No. Do I think it's good? Also no. Do I think it's hilarious? Hell yes I do. We got several game breaking bugs that were honestly rather amusing, and also the devs letting you move around in Doey's monologues is honestly the funniest decision they made. You can clip into him and let him just eat your head mid talk. He'll also fling you if you stand on his limbs while he talks, it's great. We nearly got killed by him flinging us under the pipe in that one section where he gets froze. Having said all that bad stuff, I love Doey. Okay, there's a lot going on in my life right now, and he came along in the middle of that. As the older sister to three little brothers, I relate to Doey in multiple ways. He is me, he is my brothers, and I just want to give him a big hug himself. I too am trying desperately to pick up the pieces of our home life collapsing around us, while trying to keep my little brothers happy and managing my own angry outbursts. It was a (in my opinion) jankily written scene, but the bit where Doey was torn up over Safe Haven getting destroyed really got to me. It was probably tied to the emotional state I was in when I played the chapter, but damn, I get it man. I too failed to protect those around me from what I knew was inevitable but selfishly pushed to the back of my mind. Damn, I really was made to hurt things and fuck up too bud. I get it. And in a lore perspective, Doey is three little boys mashed together. I have three little brothers, need I say more about that? This character has consumed my life, and I just want to give him a hug. Although honestly his in-game model is a little oily looking tbh. Also Michael Kovach knocked it out of the park with his performance here. Also also, fuck you devs for making us squish/kill Doey in the end. If he's actually dead I'm gonna be so mad at you guys.

By Design: Look man, I like women. I like murderous women. I mean, when I first saw the original Alice, I was still a child and wasn't pan yet, but like, she likely contributed. hnnnrg, girls.

By Plot: Unlike Doey who brings me comfort when I relate to him and kicks in my material instincts towards anyone even remotely younger than me, Jupe's relation to me does not bring me comfort. Instead my connection to Jupe is more uneasy. Ricky and I both express our traumas in similar ways. That is to say monetize them and put them on display for all the entitled voyuers out there on the internet for attention. Now, I'm obviously not someone who was a victim of a chimp attack, but there's that familiar death of childhood there. I've grown up with an abusive father, which I didn't realize the extent of until this divorce is going through. And guess what my most prominent stories feature? yeah. I'm also the type of person to build a shrine to my trauma like him. While Ricky's is obviously a little more extreme, I still have my hospital bracelet from my appendectomy. That is not a normal response. I wear my first dog's tag on a chain, and when it's not worn it's next to that hospital band. Most of my stories involve my internal or external traumas in some way, just like Jupe capitalized on the exploitive movies and shows he was roped into as a child. I'm white, but I'm a woman and I'm queer. I get being the token item. Reduced to stereotypes. Forced to uphold other stereotypes in a never ending cycle of wanting to be on top, of vainly hoping that others will finally accept you into their group. But they won't. Jupe's storyline makes me viscerally uncomfortable, but my favorite part is the end. Just before Jean Jacket eats him, we see his lips twist into a smile. Faint, but there. Because finally, for the first time in his life, Ricky isn't defined by what groups he's part of, he's not vying for anyone's attention, he's not this special chosen one because he survived all those years ago, he's just like everyone else. He's merely food for that creature. And that is a freeing feeling. Finally, something has accepted him the way he is, with no fighting, no tense acceptance into a world that could throw you away at any time, he's finally safe. And for that, I think he loves Jean Jacket. Because I know, there's parts of me that wish the same. A release from the responsibility, and freakish nature of myself since I'm so different than those around me. If Doey is my comfort character, Ricky "Jupe" Park is my discomfort character. (In a good way)

Guilty Favorite: Look man, she's weird as fuck. She also saved my nightmare mode run. Again, I love weird women. Choo Choo Charles is great because it knows its lane and sticks to it. It knows it's a goofy ass train spider game, and it sure does deliver on that premise. Pickle Lady is so bizarre, I love her. I can't help but love her. Is she a good character? No. Do I like her anyway? Yeah.

All Time Favorite: DO I even need to say much about this guy? It's FNAF. It's toilet Bonnie. It's the boy. I love him. My favorite animatronic since I was like 12. Hell yeah dude, let's keep it up.

[readerihardlyknowher]

In Every Universe | Pt. 1

Okay, so this is my first time writing a fanfic since freshman year of high school, I've only written essays since then. Please forgive my writing style if it's not writer-y enough.

Spencer Agnew x Reader Warnings: Suggestive jokes (nothing serious, just general Spencer and co. jokes) WC: 1,580

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3

“Hey everyone! We’re back to find love with another rendition of Love is Blind!” Amanda’s voice announced to the camera. “Today we have some brand-new contestants!” Amanda's lovely voice goes on as she recaps the rules, before she goes on to describe her character in this game, which is a long beloved character of hers, the drunk party girl. You watch as she passes off to Shayne, then Arasha, then Courtney, then you as you finally get to share the character you’ve come up with.

“Hey there, little boys and girls,” you begin in your best rendition of a sexy, deep voice, which of course everyone snickers at, “I’m Lady D., but my… friends just call me Dee. I’m here to step outside of my comfort zone as a full-time dominatrix and find real love.” After you finish your intro, you can’t help but laugh alongside everyone else. It was a ridiculous character, and you know the voice is going to hurt by the end of the episode. Once the laughing subsides it’s time for Spencer’s character introduction. His voice is much deeper and douche-y than it normally is when he speaks.

“Whoa… Sick, um, well, my name is Derry. I’m a world champion Genshin player, and yes, I do live in my mom’s basement. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here, chicks are already crazy enough irl.” His intro causes everyone at the table to groan, and Amanda to shove him lightly. His iconic laugh breaks through his character as he glances over at you to gauge your reaction. When he sees that you’re smiling, it only makes him smile more.

The game begins as it always does, making connections, bantering, and playing up the characters. As of now, your character, Dee, has the most connections with Spencer’s character and Courtney’s character. The question pops up of what your favorite kind of date is, A. small and intimate, B. big and bold, or C. skip the date, straight to the bedroom. Both you and Spencer are the only ones who place A, so you shoot him some playful bedroom eyes and turn to speak to the camera.

“Now, normally I would choose C, but I’m here to find love, not lust this time. Unless of course, I can find both in one,” You snicker out towards the end before shooting Spencer a wink. His eyes go comically wide and he turns to the camera to speak as well, “Whoa guys, I know chicks dig gamers, but this mommy and I really have chemistry.” Once more in this episode, you all laugh and boo Spencer and his weird, 4chan-y lingo. The game continues on, everyone else talking to and about their connections, but every time you look Spencer’s way, he gasps and makes a dramatic head turn away from you. You smile and shake your head when he does so, confused and loving/hating the energy of his character.

“Derry, I have something to say to you, meet me up front,” your head turns as Arasha/her character says. Spencer stares over at her for a second, looking shocked before standing up and facing away from her in front of the board, right in front of the cameras. You and all the other castmates are in shock and huddled together to watch. They both turn around and look at each other, gasping once they see one another. Arasha walks closer to him and gets down on one knee, looking up at Spencer. “I know you’re kind of an incel, but our connection is deep enough for me to overlook that. Will you marry me, Derry?” There’s a dramatic silence that falls upon the room, everyone clutching each other’s hands, waiting for Spencer/Derry’s response.

“Uh, sorry babe, but methinks there’s another lady more worth my time.” You all gasp loudly at his rejection, Arasha falling to the ground melodramatically, before Spencer’s gaze turns to you. “Dee…” More gasps erupt and you stand from your seat, heart over your chest. Arasha gets up from the floor and you swiftly take her place as he takes your hand in his. His is warm and a little clammy, but you don’t mind, holding tighter as he gets down on his knee, taking the ring Arasha had and now holding it up to you. “Mommy Dee, you had me from ‘I’m’.” You snicker. “Will you be my gamer girl, and we can be double d’s together?”

You have to get over your laughing for a second, the sound of your castmates cheering/shouting fogging your mind for just a moment, but you recover, nodding before you push him down onto both of his knees. “Oh but of course, I can never say no to a good boy.” Even those words coming out of your mouth make you break, shaking your head. You open your eyes to see Spencer doing the same, muttering your name in a humorously disapproving tone, before you help him up to stand. He makes a big deal of sliding the ring onto your finger and you hold it to your lips and kiss it. Of course, he reacts to this by placing his hands over the front of his pants as if to cover a boner, so you smack his arm and he breaks with a laugh.

Moving back behind the table, you move to be next to each other, that way you can lean onto him and shoot each other looks easier than before. As the questions and connections continue, Amanda stands up and looks at Shayne, and they go to the front as she pulls out her ring to him, going on in a monologue about how drunk they could get together. You watch the scene with a hand clutched to your chest, in exaggerated shock and awe. Your other hand, under the table, feels a familiar soft, warm hand brush against you before it holds onto your hand gently. You glance over to Spencer to see his eyes locked onto the two “lovers”, not even looking over at you. Trying to ignore the heat that rushes to your cheeks, you look back to the proposal, knowing that the cameras wouldn’t be able to pick up on the secret hand holding. You hardly even notice the proposal finishing before they’re sitting down at the table and Spencer turns to you and speaks.

“Hey, babe, that was only like, half as hot as ours. I would never let a woman do the proposal,” he says with his dopey smile. You smile back before putting on your character and responding facing the camera.

“I have a lot of fixing to do with this one.” You turn back to Spencer and put on your best commanding voice, trying to hide your smile. “Speak when you are spoken to, boy.”

He gulps loudly, making the table laugh before his eyes dart around and he speaks in a higher voice, “Hhhhhh, yes ma’am.”

You smile and respond with, “That’s mommy to you,” before drawing the next card for the game. 

In just a few more turns, it’s time for the weddings. You both got all the possible connections to have a successful wedding. All the cast stands up and moves behind the table to do their weddings. Arasha and Courtney go first, and while they do theirs, you lean closer to Spencer and whisper. “Go with me on this.” You don’t have any time to clarify before they both “kiss” behind a piece of paper. Everyone cheers as they run off, before swiftly turning around to watch the other marriages, the next of which is yours. For some reason, you feel a little nervous, which makes no sense. Looking at Spencer, you know there’s nothing to be nervous about, not with the soft, yet playful smile he gives you as Tommy holds some paper towels on your head as a veil. Spencer takes your hands as you pretend to cry.

“We are gathered here today to unite the marriage between… an incel and a dominatrix. Before anything else, please say your vows,” Tommy reads off his “script”, before turning to the both of you. You decide to speak up first.

“Derry, I’m glad I like you for more than just sex. In every way except for your personality, you’re a… a good boy.” You cringe as you finish your sentence, watching as Spencer’s face does the same before quickly recovering. It’s silent before you remember, “You may speak now.”

“Phew. Okay Lady D., you’re the light of my life, the bulge in my pants, and the dommy to my mommy. I can’t wait to get pegged later tonight.” You cringe once more, disappointed by his disgustingly amused face. Tommy clears his throat and resumes reading.

“You may now kiss however you’d like.” And as the words leave his mouth, you reach out to Spencer and grab his jacket with both hands, pulling him to where his body blocks the camera as your hands both move up and down his neck and back, mimicking making out. Spencer, although initially stunned, quickly reciprocates and places his hands on your arms, moving them about in an appropriate, yet passionate way. All the while, your faces are inches from one another, eyes both shut as you independently make smooching noises as the cast and crew cheer you on. After a few seconds of this, you push him off, wiping your lips with your arm and looking towards the camera.

“Love is blind!”

[aayakashii]

(maybe) distance makes the heart grow fonder

Part 1, part 2

Author's note: as someone mentioned, it's been 8 months since the last update 💀 but I said I wasn't going to abandon it and I was serious! Either way, sorry for making everyone who likes this story wait so long. I'll try not to have the next chapter take too long but I have like 3 or 4 other fics I wanna write so they'll come first. The next chapter is already outlined though! Soon you'll have the other ghouls suffering from your absence >:3c aaanyway this one is a long one! I hope you like it and I hope it was worth the wait too. Let me know what you think!!!!!!

Warnings: angst, nightmares, blood, depictions of a panic attack

Ren was in a pickle.

He had called your name out a lot of times, but you were fast asleep on his bed and barely even stirred. He placed his hand in front of your nose more than once, in order to confirm you were breathing, each time getting more and more annoyed at the fact that, yes, you were breathing and still wouldn't budge.

That's what he gets for being nice once. Some annoying ass senior that slept like the dead hogging his bed.

Ren stood next to you, burning a hole into your forehead as he chewed anxiously on his thumb, wincing and hissing when he pulled a bit more than just dead skin. He sighed, looking at the red gash on the corner of his finger.

“This is so fucking annoying.” He muttered, rubbing his face with his hands.

What was the game plan here? Was he going to give up and just let you sleep on his bed all day? But what about him? He needed sleep as well.

Well, what was his other obvious option?

Ren grimaced at the thought of having to carry you on his arms, shuddering at the idea of being called out for sexual harassment after only trying to help. No, he did his good deed for the day already, and look where that got him.

As he pulled his hair in frustration, he heard the familiar sounds of things falling down all over the place downstairs. Great. That fucking weirdo was back. Awesome timing, in fact. He could deal with this issue then.

Ren turned on his heel, opening and closing the door to his bedroom quietly, in order to keep you from awakening, despite himself. Downstairs, Haru was sweeping an unknown pink powder while Towa watched with uncontained amusement. The pink dust sparkled and made strange, tingling sounds, like tiny little bells, as the broom’s bristles swooped them to a corner of the room. Haru mumbled to himself, eyebrows scrunched tight etching deep lines onto his forehead.

Ren lingered on the last step of the stairway, hesitant on asking Haru, of all people, for a favor. But desperate times call for desperate measures and Ren didn’t see any other way to (gently) remove you out of his room without getting in trouble for that - in his mind, the only options were being accused of sexual harassment or just straight up being scolded by you. And he didnt know which option sounded scarier.

“Hey.” he called out to the red-haired man quietly, scratching his cheek.

“Oh? Ren!” Haru looked up, face immediately brightening despite Ren’s permanent scowl. A hand flew to support his own lower back, which popped audibly as he turned around. “Think you can help me clean these things here? Towa bumped on the shelf and now we have this, uh. Little mess to clean up.”

Ren frowned in disgust and shook his head.

“Nah, actually… I’m the one needing some help right now to be honest.”

Haru’s face immediately fell.

“What’s wrong?” He stepped closer, eyeing Ren intently as he searched for anything out of the ordinary. “Did you get hurt somehow? Are you okay?”

“Ugh… Yeah, yeah, just come here in my room” he rolled his eyes, climbing up the stairs back towards his room without checking whether or not Haru would follow. After a few mumbles, the sound of a broom loudly falling down and some muttered curses, Ren heard footsteps quickly trailing right behind.

Ren put a finger in front of his lips, shushing Haru right before entering his room. A gust of cold air blew past them as he opened the door, goosebumps prickling their skin and Haru had to suppress a shiver. Right before he was about to scold Ren for racking up their electric bill with how long he kept the air conditioner on, his mouth shut immediately, teeth clacking audibly.

Right under the navy-colored duvet, you were fast asleep - chest rising and falling with every breath, almost peaceful-looking, if it weren't for the puffiness of your eyes and the redness of your nose.

“Oh…”

Ren sighed loudly.

“Yeah. Can you get them outta here? I wanna, you know. Have my bed back so I can sleep.”

Haru tilted his head.

“Can’t you carry them, though? You’re strong enough.”

“No way.” he shook his head vehemently. “What if they sue me for sexual harrassment?”

Haru scoffed in disbelief.

“They would never do that, and you know it. You’re their friend after all.”

“We’re not friends.” he mumbled.

Haru forcefully rubbed his nose that still had a bit of pink powder dust.

“Okay.” he said, sniffling, eyeing his hands that were now a bit pink as well. “I guess I can take them to Obscuary.”

Ren raised an eyebrow.

“Obscuary? Why don't you take them to their dorm?”

Haru tiptoed towards the bed, gently removing the duvet from your body, a guilty expression on his face as he noticed how you shivered under the cold air.

“They’re gonna spend a little time there.” He mumbled as he crouched and pulled you into his arms with ease. “Oh, that reminds me…” he turned to Ren, expression unusually severe. “You’re not allowed to tell anyone that they were here. If anyone asks you if you know where they are, lie.”

“What? Why?” Ren asked as Haru maneuvered his way out of his room.

“Ah, it’s a bit of a long story, and it’s best if they tell you themself, but they asked Towa and I to do that. You have to do the same. That’s a Captain’s order, in fact.”

Ren scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, fine. Whatever.”

“You can't tell that Sinostra friend of yours, no matter what.” Haru added, going down the stairs as Ren trailed behind.

“Ritsu? He’s not my friend.”

“Can’t tell those 1st years from Vagastrom either.” Haru scowled as he looked once again the pink dust that still covered a good chunk of the room. Towa was nowhere to be seen.

“None of those guys are my friends! I won't tell anyone, I got it, ugh.”

“Okay. good. While I'm out, you clean up the living room then.” Haru concluded as he opened the door to the dorm and stepped out.

“What? Wait, hold on! I didn’t say I would do that!” Ren replied, exasperation in his features as he immediately tried running towards the entrance as well.

“Counting on you! Be right back! Bahnti!”

As soon as Ren arrived at the door, Haru was already nowhere to be seen, his stigma immediately taking him far and away from Jabberwock, leaving the whole living room mess in Ren’s hands.

“Fuck!” he slapped the wall, wincing at the instant pain on his palm. “He’s so fucking annoying!”

Haru opened the door to Obscuary’s main entrance with ease, despite holding you in his arms, and sauntered towards the bar.

The bell chimed softly as he opened the heavy mahogany door and entered the dim lit recint and soft, jazzy music echoed through the place accompanied by the clinking of glasses.

“Sorry, the bar’s not open yet!” Rui announced cheerily, his back towards the door as he dried one of his many crystal cups. “I'm still organizing everything so please come in a few hours from now!”

Haru grunted, adjusting you in his arms before getting closer to the counter.

“Hey, Rui.” He said with a sigh, resting his hip against the sturdy wood.

“Oh! Harurin!” Rui took a quick glance over his shoulder before placing the cup down and turning around. “What’s u–” he paused with a gasp, eyes widening, as soon as he was faced with Haru's sheepish smile and your form, bundled in his arms.

“Uh…” Rui cleared his throat, eyes glued to the way you seemed to be holding on to Haru's vest for dear life. “What's going on?” he laughed anxiously as he rounded the counter to get closer.

“Aw, will you look at that. They look like that silly little princess from the fairytales.” Ed’s sultry voice resounded from a corner of the bar, his tall and languid form coming out of the shadows with a smirk on his face.

“Are they okay?” Rui asked, completely ignoring Ed's comment, although his grimace was fairly obvious.

“Well…” Haru shrugged, looking at you with a frown. “Physically, I guess they’re fine. They were going to come here to Obscuary and ask to stay a little while, but they passed out back in Jabberwock. Probably of exhaustion.”

“Exhaustion?”

The bar’s door slammed open and both men jumped, startled by the loud noise. You, however, remained trapped in a deep slumber, despite the ruckus caused by Lyca as he barreled through the bar with excitement.

“Is the honor student here?! I smell their-” Lyca’s expression fell as soon as he saw you bundled up in Haru’s arms, eyes still puffy, with a frown as you dreamed unpleasant dreams.

Lyca’s ears and tail popped out, an angry rumble reverberating in his chest while he approached Haru, slowly.

“Harurin…” he growled the nickname, an odd contrast to his demeanor. “What did you do?!”

“Lyca, calm down.” Rui stepped in front of Haru before the werewolf could come any closer.

Haru gulped, voice trembling as he backed away from Lyca’s very prominent canine features and tried to keep his fear of dogs at bay.

“Hey, I just brought them here as they were already planning to do, big guy. No need to get aggressive!”

“I’m not aggressive!”

“You sure do look aggressive...” Haru murmured.

“Lyca, don't worry that much. Harurin is a friend, remember? He wouldn't do anything to harm anyone, much less the honor student. Chill out.” Rui said with a warning glare.

“Ye-yeah! I would never hurt them! Please don't bite me!”

Lyca's ears and tail disappeared and he looked to the side, crossing his arms and sulking.

“I wasn't gonna bite” he pouted.

“What happened to them, though?” Rui pointed at you, trying to address the elephant the in the room once again. “They look absolutely wrecked.”

“I think… the pressure of everything and especially of all the other ghouls has finally got to them. You know how some of us can be.” he shrugged.

Rui sighed, a pitying look on his face as he clenched and unclenched his fists, keeping himself from reaching out and petting your tousled hair.

“They do look exhausted.”

Haru nodded.

“They cried a lot today.”

“They cried?!” Lyca’s eyes were wide, as if you crying was something unimaginable.

“Yeah and… They probably need to talk to you guys once they wake up, so keep watch, maybe.”

“Can't we wake them up then? So they tell us what's going on?” Lyca reached his hands towards you, but Rui shook his head.

“No Lyca, let them sleep. They probably need it. Harurin, can you take them to a room upstairs? It can be the one you use when you stay over.”

“No problem!”

“I’m gonna go with you.” Lyca grumbled, following Haru’s footsteps as he swiftly made way towards the mansion's second story.

“And you.” Rui turned on his heels to face Ed and pointed at him, accusative. “You just stay here and drink your wine while I fetch some stuff for them. Don't even think about messing with them while they're sleeping.”

Ed put a hand on his chest, feigning hurt.

“You wound me, Rui. I wouldn't dare kick a poor dog that's already down.”

Rui made a disgusted sound and walked away, to the sound of Ed’s amused chuckle.

Through the thick fog that encompassed your whole being, you saw a dog.

It felt like a lifetime since you’ve last seen one. A real one. Darkwick clearly had a preference for unnaturally skilled cats (demons? You weren't sure at that point), so you never saw dogs – at least not ones with a normal snout and little beaded, bright eyes.

Maybe they weren't as dextrous? It didn't matter.

But still, you saw a dog. And it was wagging its long, fluffy tail and panting happily, as if it was overjoyed to see you, an old friend you were supposed to recognize.

You didn't see your blurred, foggy surroundings, you just saw the dog – its dark, greyish coat and bright yellow eyes, the size of a labrador. It trotted towards you, head bowed down as it showed you it meant no harm. As it got right beside your feet, it laid down and showed its belly, begging for pets.

You smiled. The dog was so happy to see you. You wonder when was the last time anyone was this happy to see you.

You crouched down in order to pet it, and it wiggled gleefully under your hands, one paw shaking as you scratched a particularly good spot. Despite yourself, you cooed, telling him how he was so cute, such a good boy, so adorable. And it loved your praise, tail wagging a mile an hour.

After a few peaceful minutes, however, it started whining. It flopped down onto its side and got up quickly, startling you out of your happy daze.

"Hey, what's wrong?" You asked, but it whimpered and curled into itself, ears flat against its head and tail tucked between its legs. It was looking over your shoulder.

Without a second thought, you twisted your torso to see what was scaring it.

All you registered is a tall, woman-like figure with limbs bent unnaturally, one huge eye surrounded by purple, blue, red and white flowers; and a mouth slit into a wide, bloody smile.

Your mind screamed for you to leave, to run, to hide. No, no, not again, not again, not again.

But you were glued in place, breath hitched inside your throat as you can't do much but take it all in all over again.

There was something different in the scenario, though.

Right in front of the woman, there was a red headed man. He turned around slowly, as if he could sense your gaze fixed upon him. His toxic green eyes lock onto your figure, disdain and anger threatening to melt your bone like acid. Copious amounts of blood soaked his face, neck and white shirt.

You finally noticed how red your surroundings looked, out of nowhere.

The dog was long gone. You were alone again.

Taiga slowly placed the barrel of his golden, glittering gun onto your forehead with a blank expression. You tried to open your mouth and yell in a desperate attempt to have him recognize you, but your whole body felt heavy like lead.

All you could feel was the cold metal of his gun touch your forehead.

The piercing pain came right after the loud gunshot.

You screamed and flailed wildly on the bed, accidentally pushing Lyca, who napped peacefully on your belly. His body flipped to the side and he fell down with a yelp, but you didn’t even register his presence. Your eyes were still sealed shut, as if the nightmare had an unyielding grasp on your conscience, dragging your body back into its torturous depths as you left claw marks on the way.

You screamed and screamed. This seems to be your thing now, apparently.

"What's wrong? Hey!” Lyca jumped up to his feet in a rush, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you with little restraint on his strength. You kept on moaning in what sounded like incredible pain, still unaware of him

“Hey! What's wrong?" he gave tiny slaps on your cheeks, hoping to bring you back to consciousness. When that didn’t work, he settled for holding your arms down in order to keep you from getting hurt, since your arms were dangerously close from knocking everything that surrounded you and the bed.

Lyca’s eyes were brimmed with tears and he looked terrified once Rui entered the room.

“They- they won’t wake up” he stuttered, voice wavering as he looked at Rui for answers “What do I do?”

Rui breathed deeply, eyes fluttering as he tried to think of a solution. You were clearly still stuck in your sleep, unable to escape whatever seemed to be haunting you in your mind.

But what could he even do? It’s not like he could come near you and try to talk you out of your stupor, when you flailed wildly, almost as if convulsing – he couldn’t risk having you accidentally touch him, no matter what.

In the blink of an eye, however, Ed appeared on your bedside, an amused smile on his face as he flicked your forehead, huffing out a laugh.

“Come back here, you silly human.” he murmured, voice laced with a mischief that was unsuitable for the situation.

With a gasp, you resurfaced - your eyes finally opened and your body relaxed under Lyca’s arms. Your eyelids fluttered and you heaved, coughing as you took in your surroundings and, especially, Lyca’s pained expression hovering over you.

“Ly…ca?” you rasped and he immediately sat back on his heels, rubbing unshed tears away from his eyes and snot from his nose.

“You scared me.” he sniffed, looking away as you massaged your temples, a throbbing headache making itself known in your skull.

“What happened? What did I do?” you frown.

“You didn’t do anything, doll.” Rui chimed in, sitting on the foot of the bed with a meek smile “You were just having a really bad nightmare and it made you thrash in your sleep. It was a bit scary to see, but it wasn’t your fault. Can’t control that type of thing.” he explained, while smoothing non-existent wrinkles on the duvet.

“Oh, I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know, I… This type of thing never happened before.” you tried sitting up, looking at Lyca apologetically.

“The blond gigolo already said it. It wasn’t your fault.” he huffed.

You remembered bits and pieces of the nightmare, but mostly, how it made you feel - all the helplessness, the pain and the terror that had slowly built up inside you ever since you arrived at Darkwick crashed upon you like a tidal wave, leaving you no space to breathe. It felt like being pushed over the precipice of death time and time again, and revived only to suffer the same pain once more - a Promethean torture that only allowed you to think what the hell could you have done to deserve that much hurt; which god could have possibly angered so badly to deserve their rage in such a way.

You sighed, still rubbing your temples.

“I'm sorry for scaring you either way… When- when did I arrive here?”

“Harurin brought you. You were fast asleep in his arms. He mentioned you said you'd apparently come here? Is that so?”

“Oh… Yeah… Yeah, it is.” gratitude washed over your body for a moment. Haru already did so much to help you. You promised yourself you'd find a way to express your thankfulness once things went back to normal – or as normal as they could be.

“What happened, doll?” Rui snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked into his eyes, an unusual seriousness in his expression. “He told us you kinda crashed out, but said you were planning something. What is it?”

You gulped, casting down your eyes and fiddling with the fabric of your blazer, mouth opening and closing as you tried to find the words to explain the mess that was your mind.

“I… I found a way to look at some of my old social media.” You muttered, finally.

Lyca scrunched his eyebrows, shaking his head in confusion.

“What does this have to do with what's going on?”

“I didnt know I was gonna be so affected by my memories.” You shrugged. “I suddenly remembered how I had a life out there. Outside of Darkwick. I don't know… I don't how I even forgot about it. I had friends, family. People who cared about me, people I don't know if I'll ever see again.” You murmured, looking everywhere but the pity in Rui's eyes. You were so, so fucking tired of crying. Your limbs felt like they weighed a million tons.

“And it made me think.” You continued, after trying to clear your throat from the knot that seemed to be permanently there. “How badly people treat me here. You guys are the exception, obviously, and a few others but…” you shook your head “I don't know what I did to deserve being humiliated on a daily basis. I'm– I'm threatened, yelled at, insulted, hurt time and time again by people who barely act as if I'm human. I think some of them might see me as lesser than that.”

Rui opened his mouth to speak, but the words were flowing freely from your lips – sorrow finally seemed to have given away to anger and you needed to air out your grievances before they dragged you down again.

“And some of them see me as a school project. Means to an end, you know? Cure that stupid human and get this cool prize. I'm not a fucking project. I had my life. My dreams. They all act as if they're doing me a favor when all I wanted was to never have met them at all; never been through this at all.”

A beat passed, heavy in its silence.

“You regret meeting us?” Lyca's voice cut through the rage that covered your vision, and you paused.

He had his eyes downcast, a pout on his lips and a line between his eyebrows. He poked the bed, trying his best not to give in to the frown that tried to tug his lips down.

You hurt him. How great.

“No, Lyca. I'd never regret meeting you, nor many of the friends I made here.” You reached out to grab his hand, quieting his fidgeting as you squeezed it reassuringly. Lyca side eyed you with barely concealed upset. “It's true, I– I promise you. I swear. I love you guys and it's the only thing that has kept me alive so far.”

At the mention of the word “love”, Lyca's cheeks turned pink and he squirmed his hand out of your hold, embarrassed.

“You don't- don't need to exaggerate.” He murmured, scratching his cheek.

“It's true.” You smiled, before turning serious once again. “But I would be glad if I could never see some people ever again.”

“Okay, so… what is this plan Harurin mentioned then?” Rui chimed in, once again bringing back the focus.

You breathed deeply.

“I wanna give myself a break. I wanna spend some time away from them, from the people that have been hurting me. I asked Haru to bring me here because I wanted to ask if I could spend some time here in Obscuary, hidden from some of the ghouls.”

“Of course you can!” Lyca immediately jumped at your words, straightening his back. When he didn't get confirmation right away, he looked at Rui. “Right?”

“I mean… You can, but, uh. I'm not sure how it'd change anything…?”

“Change?” You tilted your head.

“Rui means: What is your goal with this?” Ed suddenly spoke. He had seated himself in a nearby armchair, quietly watching the exchange. You had basically forgotten he was there.

“What?”

“What do you plan on getting from this disappearing stunt? Apologies? Penitence? A sudden revelation from them that they love you and can't live without you?”

You scoffed.

“Have you been watching romcoms lately?”

Ed chuckled, amused.

“How do you know that? I found this website called Netflix and it's been a delight.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, I could tell. No, I dont expect any of them to miss me or whatever.”

“Then…?”

“I'm just tired. I’m so tired, Rui. I wanna rest. I want some peace and quiet, without someone searching for me and dragging me to do whatever stupid task they think I gotta do. I wanna sleep in without the threat of being yelled at by some asshole that's barely older than me. I need a timeout.”

Rui pursed his lips and hummed in thought with a finger tapping his chin.

“But I bet some of them will look for you. You know how they are.”

“Just pretend you don't know anything. You haven't seen me at all. I hardly doubt anyone wants to walk through Obscuary’s forest anyway.”

“Ouch!” Rui laughed with a hand on his heart. “But well, yeah. You aren't wrong.”

“So… Can I stay? For a little while? I promise I'll help out to pay back for my stay.”

Rui was already nodding, but before he could open his mouth to agree, Ed interrupted, a lascivious smile on his lips:

“You know all your troubles would be solved if you just accepted what I offered to you back in that one mission, don't you my dear?”

A hazy, pink hued memory of Ed's whispers flashed behind your eyes: a hypnotizing hum vibrating in your bones, egging you to allow him to sink his teeth on your throat and exchange your deadly curse for his own. You shivered.

“No offense, but being tied to you for an eternity is a torture of its own. I don’t wanna exchange one torture for another.”

Ed's smile faltered for a moment, but you catched it regardless.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Rui asked, eyes wide and hypervigilant of whatever insanity Ed was referring to.

“Nothing. Your captain is just being unreasonable again.” you shook your head.

“So? Will you stay in Obscuary for real?” Lyca asked, ignoring the exchange entirely.

You looked at Rui for confirmation. He put his hands on his hips with a defeated sigh.

“Oh, honey. You know I have a weak spot for you, don't you?” he winked, back on his best host demeanor once again.

You breathed a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping.

“Thank you, Rui. Thank you so much. I promise I won't give you trouble and will help out here as much as I can.”

Lyca suddenly grabbed your hands and leaned forward, clearly on a quest to hog all of your attention.

“Now that you're staying, come here with me. I gotta show you my new drawings!” he immediately jumped out of the bed and pulled you by your hand, taking you outside the bedroom and towards his own room.

“Lyca, they barely woke up! Be careful! And reasonable! Geez!” Rui trailed behind you, exasperation clear in his voice.

You didn't miss how Ed stayed back, still in the armchair. And a weird glint in his gaze, firmly locked onto you, is the last thing you see as you leave the room.

Comments or reblogs with tags are appreciated! Please let me know what you think of this so far

[maddie0101]

game on

— based off of THIS request. I hope you like it nonny ! ❤︎

summary: you’re octavia’s best friend, but lately, bellamy’s been looking at you differently. you’ve flirted with him for ages, but he’d always brush it off. after the tragedy at mount weather, he starts flirting back—and now, you’re both caught up in a dangerous game of who will break first.

warnings: sexual tension, teasing, smut.ᐟᅟ (mdni), relentless flirting, bell finally caves, p in v, season 2 au, dirty talk, bell is hot in this fic, enemies to friends to lovers, language, angst!!, slowburn, some violence, hurt/comfort, bell and reader are both very bold in this lmfao, fluff (if you squint).

word count: 7.2k

note: this is somewhat of a s2 au? clarke isn't really mentioned after mount weather, so I made the fic between seasons 2 & 3. camp jaha is more like a small village now. (also, ik it's arkadia but they didn't name it that till s3, I think)

You met Octavia in lockup.

Both of you were young, too pissed off, and too stubborn for your own good. She was thrown in for existing and you were thrown in for fighting back.

What started as eye rolls across the cell block turned into quiet conversations through the walls, then whispers in the dark when the guards weren’t paying attention. Somewhere in between shared rage and shitty food, she became your best friend.

By the time the Ark decided to hurl y'all to the ground, the two of you were damn near inseparable. You always said if you were going to die, you were at least going to do it next to your best friend.

Octavia was the only person who looked at you and didn’t see a case file. Everyone else saw a troublemaker—another angry teenager with too much attitude and not enough fear. You fought back too hard, asked too many questions, said fuck you when the rules didn’t make sense. You’d been in and out of lockup since you were twelve. No parents worth remembering. No future worth chasing. Just time.

Over time, you found out why she was in there. She never outright said it but she didn’t need to. You pieced it together in the quiet. In the way she looked over her shoulder when she thought no one was watching. In the way she talked about “him”—her brother, Bellamy—like he was the only thing that ever made her feel safe.

And that's when you decided you’d be the second.

You became like a sister to her. Her shield. Her partner in crime. You picked fights with guards so she wouldn’t have to. Got extra rations by trading favors. When she had nightmares, you’d talk her down until she could breathe again. You weren’t soft, you never had been but for her, you tried.

You were rough around the edges, and she needed that. Needed someone who wouldn’t pity her, wouldn’t treat her like she was fragile. She was the first person who made you believe that maybe you weren’t alone in this floating cage of metal and bullshit.

So yeah, when they loaded the two of you into the drop ship, you didn’t say goodbye. You just sat shoulder to shoulder and said, “Well… if we’re gonna die, at least we’re doing it the fun way.”

Octavia laughed like it was the end of the world. You smiled like it already was. But then the ground hit. Hard and fast and unforgiving.

And that’s when you met Bellamy.

The moment your boots hit the ground, you knew you weren’t on the Ark anymore. The air was heavier, but fresh. The trees looked too tall, too real. There was blood on your lip from the rough landing, and yet—none of it mattered the second your eyes found him.

He was standing just outside the ramp, barking orders, eyes sweeping over the chaos like he’d already claimed this place. Towering over half the teenagers scrambling around him, jaw locked tight. His hair was pushed back off his forehead, and sweat was clinging to his throat like it belonged there. He was gorgeous. And you were drooling a little bit.

You didn’t mean to stare.

But he did too. Just for a second.

A flicker of something sharp and heated passed between you. Like he didn’t expect you. Like you didn’t expect him. Like the ground had shifted a little more when you looked at each other.

Then, right when your stomach dipped in that oh shit kind of way, Octavia grabbed your hand. “Come on,” she said, tugging you towarda the hot guy, her eyes lighting up like the sun just rose for the first time. “I want you to meet someone.”

The guy turned as you approached, eyes landing on his sister first, softening for a half second in a way you never expected. Then he looked at you again.

“Bellamy,” Octavia beamed, wrapping her arms around him, “this is my best friend. The one I told you about.”

You watched the flicker in his eyes—the way he clocked you head to toe, like he was trying to figure out what kind of threat you were. Or maybe something else. Maybe he was trying not to think about the fact that he’d already looked too long.

You stuck out your hand. “So you’re the big brother.”

He didn’t take your hand. Just nodded, slow and unreadable, voice low and guarded. “You’re the one she never shut up about.”

You smirked, unfazed. “Hope I lived up to the hype.”

His mouth twitched like it wanted to be a smile but didn’t quite make it. “We’ll see.”

Octavia rolled her eyes and gave your arm a shove. “Play nice, you two.”

You didn’t look away from him. And he didn’t look away from you. And just like that, something started, unspoken and simmering, tucked beneath the dirt and the sky and the smell of ash still clinging to the wind.

You didn’t know what it was yet, but you knew it was going to be trouble.

──────────────────────

From that day forward, you and Bellamy bickered and fought. Not full-on screaming matches though, you’d come close once or twice—but enough to make people look the other way when you were within five feet of each other. You questioned every plan he barked out, called him a dictator to his face, and made it very clear you weren’t afraid of him.

He hated that. Or… at least he acted like he did.

You sided with Clarke most of the time. Not because you thought she had all the answers, but because Bellamy’s bullshit rubbed you the wrong way. The power trip, the bravado, the way he threw orders like they were law. Something about it felt off—like he was overcompensating for something he didn’t want anyone to see.

And maybe that pissed you off because deep down, you knew exactly what that felt like.

But then you found out the truth—what he did to get on the drop ship. How he’d risked everything to protect Octavia. How he’d become a fugitive the second the Ark realized he was missing. And suddenly… he didn’t seem like such a bastard after all.

He was still a pain in your ass. Still sharp-tongued and stubborn and so infuriating. But he wasn’t just some power-hungry asshole trying to run the camp—he was just a guy trying to keep the people he loved alive, even if it meant becoming the villain in someone else’s story.

And after that, the fighting slowed down. The sharp words turned into sarcasm. The biting tone gave way to smirks. You’d toss a comment over your shoulder and catch the way his lips would twitch, like he was trying not to smile. He’d give you a hard time about your attitude, but you could hear the difference in his voice. The edge was gone.

You started to see him in the quiet moments too. Not just the leader, but the person beneath it—the way he’d stay up all night fixing fencing when no one asked him to. The way he carried the guilt of every death like it was stitched into his skin. The way he looked at Octavia like she was the only part of him still pure.

And slowly, carefully, he started letting you in.

It wasn’t some big confession. It was small things—little glimpses, a joke here, a story there. He’d ask you where you were from, what you remembered about the Ark, how the hell you and Octavia managed to survive lockup without killing someone. You’d fire something smartass back, and he’d just shake his head, fighting a smile.

But through all of it, from day one on the ground—he protected you. First, because you were Octavia’s best friend. That was the excuse. That was the line.

But somewhere along the way, that stopped being the whole truth.

He started looking for you first when things went south. Standing closer than necessary when strangers passed through camp. You caught him watching you during arguments, after fights, when you came back from patrol a little too scraped up. And when you asked why, he’d shrug it off with that low, gruff, “Just keeping an eye on you.”

You’d smirk, pretending not to hear the weight behind it. Pretending not to notice how his gaze lingered just a little too long. Because whatever this was, it was walking a fine line. He wasn’t just Octavia’s big brother anymore. And you weren’t just the best friend he was supposed to ignore.

You’d always flirted with him in that quiet, dangerous way that made people raise their eyebrows and Bellamy roll his eyes.

It wasn’t obvious, not really. Just little things. A brush of your shoulder against his when you passed. A sly comment tossed his way when the group was tense. A smirk you reserved only for him.

He’d call you a pain in the ass and you'd call him a buzzkill.

But you both knew it was more than that. You never crossed the line. Not really. Because you were Octavia’s best friend. And because Bellamy Blake didn’t do feelings. Especially not when the world was burning around you.

But still—you flirted. Even when he gave you nothing in return but narrowed eyes and that signature, “You done yet?” tone.

Especially then, and if you told yourself it was just for fun, just to get under his skin, well… maybe that was easier than admitting the truth.

But everything shifted the night you went missing.

It happened fast. One second you were at the edge of Tondc, just outside the walls, taking a moment to yourself after another long day of prepping for war, and the next—you were gone. No one saw them grab you. No one heard you scream.

By the time Octavia noticed you hadn’t come back, it was too late.

They’d taken you to Mount Weather.

──────────────────────

Bellamy didn’t take the news well.

Clarke told him right after Finn’s funeral, her voice tight, eyes red, and for the first time in days, his whole body went still. “They have her.”

That was all she had to say. Bellamy's jaw clenched and his shoulders squared. He didn’t even ask how it happened. Didn’t say a word, really. Just agreed to going into the mountain with Lincoln. Now, more determined than ever.

He remembered the way you joked with him just a few days earlier. How you’d bumped his shoulder walking past and said, “Careful, Blake. I’m starting to think you like having me around.”

He’d scoffed, muttered something like, “Delusional,” and kept walking, even though he felt his heart hammer against his ribs like it was trying to claw its way out.

And now you were gone. And if he had to burn the mountain down to get you back, he would.

No hesitation. No second thoughts. Because you weren’t just Octavia’s best friend anymore.

You were his.

──────────────────────

Bellamy hadn’t seen you once the entire time he’d been inside Mount Weather.

He’d looked down every hallway he crept through, every lab he passed, every group of terrified faces locked behind glass—he searched for you. Hoped for a glimpse. A whisper. Anything—

But still, nothing.

And he told himself maybe that was good. Maybe they hadn’t gotten to you yet. But that was until the moment Monty pulled up the live feed from the control room, fingers flying across the keys, screens flickering to life—one after the other.

Then he saw you.

Strapped down, bruised, pale as a ghost—barely conscious.

His heart stopped.

You were lying on a medical bed, skin waxy and bloodless, arms pinned at your sides. You looked smaller somehow. Fragile and hollowed out. Your eyes fluttered just once, trying to fight, but your body was so far gone.

Clarke sucked in a sharp breath beside him. “Oh my god…”

Bellamy didn’t hear her. His whole body was locked in place, eyes fixed on the screen, fists clenched so tight his nails bit into his palms. “What room is that?” he asked, voice low and sharp like a blade. “Where is she?”

Monty’s hands shook as he tapped through feeds. “Cage moved her. She’s in—shit. They’re prepping her again.”

“She won’t survive another round,” Clarke said.

Bellamy already knew that. He could see it. Your chest was rising, barely. Your lips were dry and cracked. They’d taken too much—drilled too deep. There was no way you’d make it through another extraction. You were already halfway to gone.

But then you screamed. The sound so raw, so real, it cut through the air like shrapnel. It came from the tiny speakers above the monitor, distorted by static—but Bellamy heard it. He felt it. And it hit him like a fucking bullet straight to the heart.

“Monty,” Bellamy barked. “Is it ready?!”

“I’m almost done—”

Another scream cut through the air and Bellamy’s eyes didn’t leave the screen. You were arching off the table now, or trying to. One of the techs held you down as the drill started to hum. And for the first time since landing on the ground, Bellamy panicked “Monty!”

“Got it!” Monty shouted. “You’re good—outside oxygen flow is ready,”

Bellamy didn’t wait. He couldn't. Him and Clarke grabbed the handles and pulled the lever down together.

The room shook as the outside air flooded in. Monitors flatlined. Systems failed. The screen cut out—but not before Bellamy saw the med techs start to drop, one by one, choking on the very air that was supposed to keep them safe.

He didn’t flinch or look away. He only stood there, chest heaving, jaw clenched, hands still wrapped around the lever like he’d never let go.

Because he didn’t just do it for the hundred. He did it for you.

──────────────────────

The moment the doors slid open, Bellamy didn’t wait for clearance. He sprinted. His boots skidded across blood-slick floors, past bodies of guards and doctors, and when he found the room—the one from the screen—he nearly collapsed at the sight of you.

You were still strapped down. Motionless. A dull red smeared across your arm where they’d started drilling. Your eyes were barely open, just slivers of hazy light in a face drained of everything but pain.

“Hey,” he said, voice hoarse, cracking as he stumbled to your side. “Hey—look at me.”

Your eyes twitched. And then slowly, god, so fucking slowly—you turned your head toward him. A ghost of a smile tugged at your lips. “Took you long enough.”

Something in Bellamy shattered in that moment. He dropped to his knees beside you, hands cupping your face without even thinking. “Jesus, you’re an idiot,” he choked out, brushing sweat-damp hair from your forehead. “Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

“You love the drama,” you rasped, blinking up at him like he was the only thing tethering you to this world.

And for a second, neither of you spoke. Just breathed. Until the door banged open again.

“Y/N?!” Octavia’s voice cracked through the hall like a whip and she rushed in, eyes wide and wild, skidding to a stop as soon as she saw you.

“Oh my god.” She dropped to the other side of the bed, grabbing your hand with both of hers. “Are you—are you okay? I thought—I thought they—”

“I’m okay,” you whispered. “I’m okay, O.”

But you weren’t. Not really. And they both knew it.

Bellamy met Octavia’s eyes over you, and something passed between them, something silent, heavy, and full of fear. They’d both almost lost you. And neither of them could pretend that didn’t mean something.

──────────────────────

As they got you back to Camp Jaha on a stretcher, your body too weak to walk, your pulse faint and flickering like a dying ember. Abby and the med team rushed in the second you arrived, but even surrounded by people, Bellamy never left your side.

Not once. He stood in the corner of medical, arms crossed, jaw locked tight as Abby worked. Watching. Waiting. His fingers itched to hold yours again, just to make sure you were real—but he didn’t move.

He couldn’t. Because his chest was filled with this awful, unbearable pressure—like everything he’d buried since the day you landed had finally clawed its way to the surface and was refusing to go back.

You could’ve died. You almost did. And the fucked up part was…it wasn’t just fear that crushed him when he saw you on that screen. He realized he was in love with you.

He’d spent years pretending he wasn’t capable of it, convinced himself he didn’t deserve it. But now? Now it was too loud to ignore.

So he sat by your bedside while you slept, elbows on his knees, eyes fixed on the slow rise and fall of your chest.

And in the silence of that makeshift medical bay, Bellamy made a promise to himself he didn’t say out loud: He was never letting you go again.

──────────────────────

You were still recovering. The med bay had cleared you for light activity, but the deep ache in your bones hadn’t gone anywhere.

Some nights, when the camp was quiet and everyone else was asleep, you’d lie awake and feel the phantom pain—like the drills were still in your spine, like your marrow was still being taken drop by drop.

But Bellamy made it easier. He wasn’t soft about it—he didn’t hover or coddle you. But he was there. Constantly.

Helping you walk when your legs gave out. Sitting with you when you couldn’t stomach food. Throwing that dumb smirk your way every time you grumbled about the taste of the medicine Abby forced down your throat.

He kept you grounded. He kept you here. And somewhere in that haze of recovery and exhaustion, the two of you slipped back into your old rhythm. The bickering. The sarcasm. The late-night banter over who had the worst luck since landing on the ground.

Except now… now Bellamy was flirting back.

And not in a joking, half-assed kind of way—no, he was actually leaning into it. Smirking at your comments, throwing little teasing remarks right back at you, giving you that look that made your stomach flip if you thought about it too long. It was weird as hell, honestly.

Because for the longest time, he never did that. He used to shut it down, gently but clearly, like he didn’t want to hurt your feelings but also didn’t want to give you the wrong idea. And you got it—you weren’t stupid.

He wasn’t into you. You were just Octavia’s best friend, and now apparently one of his best friends too. That was the box he put you in. So yeah, whatever the hell this was, it threw you off.

The first time it happened, you thought you were hearing things.

You were sitting by the campfire, rubbing at your sore shoulder while Bellamy passed out rations.

When he dropped yours into your lap, you grinned and said, “Aw, look at that—feeding me now? If you wanted to take care of me, Blake, you could’ve just said so.”

Normally, he’d roll his eyes. Maybe throw a snarky comment your way and move on. But this time? He paused. Just for a second. Then he leaned down, close enough that you felt the warmth of him against your cheek, and murmured, “Don’t tempt me.”

Then walked off like he hadn’t just short-circuited your fucking brain.

You sat there for a solid thirty seconds, staring down at the food in your lap like it had personally offended you.

What the hell was that? A joke? A heat-of-the-moment thing? You shook it off.

But then it kept happening and you didn’t know what the fuck to do with that.

A few days ago, you made a crack about him always watching your back on patrol, said something like “You sure you’re not just into the view?”

And instead of brushing it off like usual, Bellamy looked you dead in the eyes and said “Maybe I am.”Cool as anything. No smirk. No eye-roll. Just… said it and then kept walking. Leaving you standing there in the middle of the damn woods like your brain had shorted out and needed to reboot.

And ever since then, he’d been doing it more. Pushing back. Saying shit that made your stomach twist and heat crawl up your spine, and worst of all—he wasn’t backing down. Not even a little.

Which is how you ended up where you were now: sitting by the fire, pretending to sharpen your blade while Bellamy passed behind you. Close enough to brush against your back, to set your nerves on fire.

“You keep hovering like that, I’m gonna start thinking you like being near me,” you said, voice light, teasing.

Bellamy didn’t miss a beat. “What if I do?”

You looked up at him, blade in your lap, heart doing stupid somersaults in your chest. He smiled...smiled. Not that fake shit either. A real one—Lazy, dangerous, full of something you hadn’t seen in his eyes when he looked at you before.

And that was when you made the decision. Fine. If he wanted to play, you’d play that game too, and better.

You’d been dancing around this for months, always throwing your little lines and watching them bounce off that brick wall he’d built around himself.

But now? Now—he was letting things slip through the cracks and you were going to wedge yourself into every single one.

So, the next morning, you waited until the camp was half-awake, Bellamy still pulling on his jacket near the weapons rack. You wandered over casually, like you weren’t already keyed up and ready to stir shit. You leaned against the post beside him, arms crossed, that lazy smirk already forming.

“Early start today?” you asked, voice light.

He grunted, checking the straps on his pack. “Someone’s gotta make sure we don’t all die out there.”

You hummed. “And here I thought you just liked spending time with me.”

He looked up, narrowed his eyes just a little. “Don’t flatter yourself.” But there was a twitch at the corner of his mouth, and you caught it.

You stepped closer, voice dropping just enough to make him freeze with the last strap still halfway buckled. “Come on, Bell. You flirt, I flirt back… you flirt again. That’s kinda how it goes now, isn’t it?”

Bellamy turned to you, jaw set, eyes scanning your face like he was trying to find the trick behind your smile. “You think that’s what this is?” he asked.

You shrugged. “I think you like the attention.”

He stepped in, just slightly and the air between you thickened. “I think you do too.”

God, you hated how your breath caught at that. Just a little hitch in your throat. Nothing big, nothing anyone would notice—but he did. Of course he did.

You recovered fast, smirking as you reached past him to snag a knife off the rack, brushing his hand just enough to make his fingers twitch. “Guess we’ll see who breaks first, huh?”

And with that, you walked off, blade twirling in your hand like the whole damn thing hadn’t just made your pulse spike.

The game was on now and you had every intention of winning.

──────────────────────

It started out like any other sparring session.

The usual crowd was gone, which left the training area mostly empty. Bellamy had offered to spar earlier, and you’d jumped at the chance.

You said it was to stay sharp. But you lied. You liked the way he looked during training—sweaty, flushed, half-wild. His curls stuck to his forehead, his shirt clinging to his chest, arms flexing with every movement. And most of all, you loved getting under his skin.

“Focus,” Bellamy warned, blocking your strike with a dull thwack of wood against wood.

You smirked, catching him off guard with a spin, ducking low and kicking his legs out from under him.

He hit the ground with a heavy grunt and before he could recover, you were on him. Straddling his hips, staff pressed across his collarbone, pinning him down. “Oh, I’m focused,” you said, breathless but grinning. “You just underestimated me. Again.”

Bellamy stared up at you, chest rising fast, hands gripping the dirt. His eyes dropped for a second—just a flash—to your face, to your French braids pulled tight, the strands messy at the crown from the fight.

God, he thought you were beautiful. Dangerously beautiful.

And you saw it, you fucking saw it, because your eyes sparkled with something wicked and knowing, and before he could stop you—you shifted. Subtle. Just a small, slow roll of your hips against his.

Not enough to cross a line but just enough to wreck him, make him go insane.

Bellamy's hands clenched tighter into the dirt and his breath hitched hard in his throat. And then, fuck—he groaned, low and guttural—like it had been torn right out of him.

“Something wrong?” you asked, feigning innocence, but your voice was soft, sultry, but lethal.

His dark eyes snapped back to yours, jaw clenched, lips parted like he was about to say something but couldn’t figure out what. You could feel how tense he was beneath you, every muscle pulled tight. One second more and he might’ve snapped it himself.

He gritted out, “Get off me.”

Your brow raised. “Why? Afraid you’ll lose?”

“I already fucking lost.”

The words slipped out before he could stop them. You froze for half a second, long enough for the heat to crawl up your spine. And then you smirked. But this time, it was softer. Less teasing, a little more dangerous.

But you didn’t move, not yet. You just leaned in, voice low near his ear. “Then maybe you should stop trying to win.” And just like that, you rolled off him and stood up like nothing had happened. Tossed the staff to the side—dusted your hands off like it was any other day.

Bellamy didn’t move right away. He just laid there, breath shallow, staring at the sky like it might help him cool down. But It wouldn’t.

Because now? The game had changed, and he wasn't going to let you win.

──────────────────────

It started with a stupid knot in your shoulder—and ended with you damn near falling apart in Bellamy Blake’s hands.

You were sitting by the fire, exhausted from the day’s patrol, your back screaming from the gear you’d hauled and the tension you hadn’t stretched out yet.

The camp buzzed around you—murmured conversations, clanging metal, the occasional burst of laughter. But it all blurred out when Bellamy dropped down beside you, close enough that your knees brushed.

You’d shot him a tired smirk. “If I die from a snapped spine, tell Octavia it was the pack’s fault.”

He raised a brow. “Dramatic.”

You rolled your eyes, trying and failing to roll your shoulder. “I have a whole-ass mountain growing between my blades. Go fuck yourself.”

Bellamy didn’t say anything at first. Just looked at you for a beat, his eyes dark, unreadable, and then shifted behind you without warning. The weight of his knees settled on either side of you as he moved in, solid and warm and suddenly way too close.

“Bell,” you warned, stiffening. “What are you—”

His hands landed on your shoulders and everything in your body short-circuited. “Relax,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper, breath brushing your neck. “I’ve got it.”

You were going to make a joke, something smartass-y about him finally wanting to touch you—but then his fingers dug in. Deep, expertly—right on the knot and You exhaled a sharp breath. More like a gasp you thought but it was embarrassingly close to a moan.

Your body went still, spine arching instinctively toward the pressure.

Bellamy didn’t comment. Didn’t even flinch. Just kept going like he hadn’t just heard you make a noise you usually reserve for way more private moments.

His thumbs worked in slow, agonizing circles. His palms were steady, warm, grounding. Every time his fingers dragged down your shoulder blade, you had to fight not to lean back against him, not to let your head drop and fucking purr like a cat.

“Still dramatic?” he asked, low against your ear.

You swallowed hard. “You’re… not bad at this.”

He chuckled, and the sound vibrated through your back like he’d poured it straight into your skin. Then his hands shifted, one drifting just slightly lower. His fingers brushed the edge of your collarbone—slowly, and your stomach flipped.

A small sound escaped you but this time, you definitely couldn’t blame it on the knot. It was a soft half a sigh, half a moan. And it slipped out before you could kill it.

Bellamy’s hands paused for a fraction of a second and then he leaned in just enough to let you feel the grin in his voice. “Didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, tone damn near wicked.

You swallowed again. “You didn’t.”

You didn’t dare turn around. You knew what you’d find if you did—those dark eyes watching you too closely. That smug, infuriating look he gets when he knows he’s gotten under your skin.

Instead, you muttered, “You’re lucky I’m tired, Blake. If I had any energy, I’d knock you flat on your ass.”

His hands slid off your shoulders—finally, but not before his fingers gave one last, lazy squeeze to your waist. “Looking forward to it,” he said. “Night, princess.”

And then he was gone, leaving you buzzingc flushed—ruined.

Fine. If he wanted to start this game, you were going to end it.

──────────────────────

The party was loud, messy—exactly the kind of chaos Jasper thrived on. There were half-drunk kids dancing around the fire, someone already passed out near the speakers, and enough stolen booze passed around to dull the ache in all their bones.

You weren’t drunk. Just a little buzzed, a little bold. Just enough to stop pretending like Bellamy Blake wasn’t looking at you like he wanted to burn the clothes off your body with just his eyes. He stood near the drinks table, talking to Miller and Harper, but his gaze kept flicking to you.

And that’s when you noticed it. His belt was undone—fly half open, the edges of his shirt barely covering it like it had come loose without him realizing.

You smirked, crossed the space between you like you had no business doing it, like you weren’t already pushing the line between teasing and dangerous.

“Bell,” you said, casual, leaning in just enough to make him stiffen, “you’re kinda coming undone.”

“Huh?” His brows furrowed, the drink in his hand sloshing a little as he glanced down. “Shit.”

But before he could move, your hands were already there. You reached down, slowly, deliberately, and grabbed the open ends of his belt. The conversation around you died a little. You didn’t care. You didn’t look up at him as you looped the leather through, tightened it with one practiced tug, and zipped up his fly with a soft, satisfying sound.

“There,” you said, straightening up, smirking just a bit. “Wouldn’t want you walking around indecent.”

Bellamy was frozen. Tense. His jaw clenched, and his fingers gripped the cup in his hand like he was trying not to crush it.

You turned, completely unbothered, already walking away—until a hand grabbed your wrist, rough but careful. You barely had time to react before he tugged you past the crowd, past the music and firelight and straight out into the cool night air behind one of the abandoned cabins.

He didn’t say a word. Just pressed you back against the side of the cabin, eyes dark and wild like he was two seconds from losing every bit of control he had left. “You think that shit’s funny?” he rasped, voice low and wrecked.

You tilted your head, playing dumb. “Think what’s funny?”

He stepped closer—close enough that you could feel his breath against your lips. “You. Tearing me apart in front of everyone. Touching me like that like it’s nothing.”

“It was nothing,” you lied, breath hitching. “You looked like you needed help.”

He gave a dry, disbelieving laugh. “You think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing?”

“Then why didn’t you stop me?”

His eyes searched yours, burning hot and furious and so full of want it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. “Because I wanted to see how far you’d push,” he said. “And now you’ve gone too far.”

You swallowed, chest rising and falling like you’d just run a damn marathon. His eyes never left yours. Not for a second. Not even as his hand slid from your wrist to your waist, fingers digging in just enough to make you gasp, your back hitting the wood behind you with a soft thud.

You could barely breathe, barely think, and it was a miracle your knees hadn’t buckled under the weight of how he was looking at you—like he was starving. Like he’d waited too long. Like he was one second away from ruining you in the best goddamn way possible.

“I thought you liked it,” you managed, your voice low, shaky. “The game.”

His hand moved, tracing slowly along your side, up your ribs, stopping just under the curve of your chest. Not touching—not yet—but close enough to burn. “I did,” he said, voice rough. “But now I’m done playing.”

Your breath caught again, a tiny, involuntary sound slipping from you and his eyes snapped down to your lips.

And that was it— the breaking point. His mouth crashed into yours like he couldn’t take it another fucking second—like holding back had become unbearable. It was messy, desperate, needy—his hands gripped your waist like he needed to feel every inch of you under them, like he’d been dreaming about this and was finally allowed to have it.

You kissed him back just as hungrily, your hands fisting in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, not caring how out of control this was.

It was Bellamy. It was finally Bellamy. The man who acted like you were just Octavia’s best friend, like you didn’t get under his skin, like he wasn’t staring at your mouth every time you smiled. But you knew now. You felt it now.

When his mouth tore from yours, it was only to drag hot, open-mouthed kisses down your jaw, your neck, his breath ragged against your skin as your hips pressed together in a slow, unconscious grind.

“You think I don’t see what you’ve been doing?” he murmured against your throat, voice gravel and heat. “You think I haven’t been fucking dying every time you smiled at me like that? Every time you touched me and acted like it was nothing?”

Your nails dug into his shoulders, head falling back as you gasped, dizzy from the feel of his mouth on your skin. “You should’ve done something about it sooner,” you whispered.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, hair a mess, lips kiss-bitten, eyes full of that same raw, hungry heat. “I’m doing something about it now.”

He didn’t give you a second to answer—not that you could’ve if you tried. His mouth was on yours again, rougher this time, all teeth and tongue and months of tension finally snapping at the seams.

You barely registered when his hands slid down, gripping under your thighs and lifting you like you weighed nothing, like he’d been thinking about doing it for months. Your back hit the side of the cabin behind you, the old wood creaking beneath the sudden weight of it all—but neither of you gave a damn.

Your legs locked around his waist instinctively, and that sound he made—low, guttural, practically a growl, shot straight through you. He rocked into you, hard and slow, just enough friction to leave you gasping, head spinning.

“Bell…” You didn’t know if it was a warning or a plea, but it came out breathless, desperate. His lips hovered just above yours, breath mingling, voice wrecked. “Say it again.”

You blinked, dazed. “What?”

“My name. Say it again.”

So you did, you whispered his name softly. “Bellamy.”

That broke him. His hips rolled against you, harder this time, and you moaned, your head thumping back against the wall, fingers tangled in his hair, tugging. His hands were everywhere, palming your ass, sliding under your shirt, pushing the fabric up until your bare stomach hit the cool night air.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he muttered against your collarbone, pressing kisses there like he couldn’t stop. “Every time you laugh. Every time you call me an asshole and then wink at me two seconds later.”

“I was just teasing,” you breathed, even though you both knew that was only half true.

His hand slid higher, thumb brushing just under the edge of your bra. “Yeah? Still teasing now?”

You arched into him, a challenge in your voice. “What if I am?”

His laugh was dark, dangerous. “Then I guess I’ll just have to teach you a lesson, won’t I?”

And that was it, he dragged you away from the wall, still wrapped around him, and started toward one of the empty buildings near the edge of camp.

You didn’t ask where, didn’t care—you were too focused on the way his hands gripped you, the way his mouth kept finding yours between footsteps like he couldn’t go more than two seconds without it. And by the time he pushed through the door and kicked it shut behind you, both of you were shaking.

“Last chance,” he said, voice ragged. “Tell me to stop.”

You stared at him, heart pounding, lips swollen, chest heaving—and shook your head. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Bellamy’s mouth was on you again in a heartbeat, and this time, he didn’t stop. You whimpered against his lips, grabbing onto his jacket and dragging him closer. His other hand was at your waist, sliding around to the small of your back, holding you like he wasn’t letting go again.

He pulled back just enough to breathe, foreheads pressed together. “You drive me insane,” he said, breath hot against your lips. “You and your fucking mouth.”

You grinned, breathless. “Then do something about it.”

That was all it took. His hands found the hem of your shirt and shoved it up, baring your stomach to the cool air. You didn’t stop him—not for a second. You were too busy dragging your own fingers under his shirt, mapping out the cut lines of his torso like you’d earned the right to finally touch him.

“You’re gonna regret teasing me this long,” he muttered, pulling your top over your head.

“I’ve regretted nothing.” Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he pushed you back against the wall of the cabin, mouth trailing fire down your throat. “Except maybe not doing this sooner.”

His hands were everywhere—gripping, kneading, like he was trying to make sure you were really here. Yours weren’t much better. You practically tore his shirt off, raking your nails down his chest, relishing the way he hissed when you reached his waistband.

“Is this why you wore this tonight?” he asked, voice low and ragged, eyes dragging down your body like it was killing him to look.

“What, the braids?” You smirked. “Knew you liked ’em.”

He groaned and kissed you again, harder this time, biting at your bottom lip. “Smartass.”

“Guilty.”

He walked you backward to the bed, lowering you down with a hand behind your back like instinct. The mattress creaked as you scooted up, pulling him with you, legs wrapping around his waist. “Still think I’m playing games?” you asked, breathless.

“No,” he growled. “I think you’re fucking dangerous.”

His hand slipped between your thighs, fingers brushing against your center through your underwear. You bucked into the touch, a quiet moan escaping before you could bite it back.

That moan wrecked him. He yanked your underwear down with a curse, shoved his pants off just enough, and hovered over you, chest heaving. “Last chance to tell me to stop.”

You shook your head so fast it made your braids whip around your shoulders. “Bell—please.”

That was it. He sank into you in one smooth thrust, and both of you let out gasps like the air had been knocked out of your lungs. It was everything. Too much. Not enough. You clung to him, breath ragged, nails biting into his back as he started to move—slow and deep at first, like he wanted to feel every inch of you.

You wrapped your legs tighter around his hips, meeting him thrust for thrust, choking on every broken sound that spilled from your lips. The way he moved—like he already knew your body, like he’d thought about this a hundred times—it was dizzying.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he groaned, forehead pressed to yours. “Should’ve done this the second we hit the ground.”

You laughed, breathless and shaking. “What took you so long?”

“I didn’t want to fuck up what we had.” His hand came up to cup your face, thumb stroking over your cheek even as he kept driving into you. “But I can’t stop now. I won’t.”

You pulled him closer, kissed him like you’d die if you didn’t, and arched up into him as he hit just the right angle. Your body clenched around him and his rhythm stuttered. “Bell—” your voice broke, “I’m gonna—”

“I got you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your jaw, your neck, your lips. “Come for me.”

Your body shattered beneath him, heat pulsing through every nerve as the orgasm ripped through you—loud and desperate. Bellamy cursed, hips faltering as he followed, burying himself deep as he groaned into your mouth.

For a long moment, there was nothing but the sound of your breathing, tangled limbs and sweaty skin. Then he pulled back just enough to look at you, to really look at you. And you didn’t see lust anymore. You saw everything.

“I almost lost you,” he murmured, thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. “In that damn mountain… I thought —”

“I know,” you cut in gently. “But you didn’t. You saved me.”

Bellamy closed his eyes like your voice was the only thing keeping him grounded. “Yeah,” he breathed. “But it scared the hell out of me. Made me realize I’ve been pushing you away for nothing.”

“You weren’t,” you said. “You were scared, bell. I was too.”

He looked at you then. Really looked at you. And for once, there was no wall behind his eyes. Just honesty. “I don’t want to keep playing games,” he said.

Your heart squeezed in your chest. “Then don’t.”

He leaned in again, but this kiss was slower, warmer. A promise this time, not a battle. You melted into it, fingers gently trailing over his freckled skin. He held you like you were something fragile, even though he knew damn well how strong you were. And when he finally pulled back, you didn’t let him get far. Your forehead stayed against his, both of you breathing the same air.

“Bell?” you whispered.

“Yeah?”

You smiled, eyes still closed. “Next time, maybe just kiss me before we try to kill each other in a party full of drunk teenagers.”

He laughed quietly, the sound breaking through the storm of emotion in his chest. “Deal,” he said. And when he finally wrapped his arms around you, holding you against him like he never wanted to let go, you realized he meant it.

For the first time, this wasn’t a game. It was something real.

author’s note:

hii guys! I hope y’all liked this one! :) I’m a little slut for backstories so I kinda rambled about how they met. Ik they didn’t actually have cabins and ‘camp jaha’ only lasted a little bit but I wrote it anyways 🤷🏽‍♀️ basically an au, hehe. Hope you liked this one, nonny! ❤︎

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[bumblebriez]

Love Stricken (PT.5)

(Gojo Satoru x Chubby!Fem!Reader)

(PT.1) (P.T.2) (P.T.3) (P.T.4)

⚠️⚠️⚠️: Abuse, physical and verbal. Non con sex. Degradation. Just mental abuse. Talking horribly about weight and reader. Children sort of present. Underage dating if you squint.

Never in a million years would you think, you'd catch the eyes of a certain jujutsu sorcerer but you did and with that came alot of consequences. That you would eventually find out the hard way.

Your parents vanished a good couple of years ago with no knowledge of why and where, leaving you; the eldest, to care and provide for your younger siblings. Being responsible and forgetting about the life you used to live, you felt lost. Struggling a lot with your self worth.

Your best friend took it upon herself to finally get you to live your life a little more by taking you out on the town for a night.

But you found that night was the start of your downfall.

********

GIF by saewrq

********

You woke up alone.

Though this time.. you weren’t worried. Your tired eyes stared up at the ceiling with a smile gracing your lips. Last night was amazing. You felt amazing. You just felt good. Confidant.

Which was such a rare feeling for you in these recent times and it pissed you off that with only a few touches and meaningful words, you had been turned to putty.

You brushed a hand over your face with your cheeks started to heat up; blushing ferociously. You can still hear his voice, his words that made your heart flutter, leaving you feeling like a school girl with an intense crush.

Even if you felt like you could just stay in bed and reminisce on last night, you had to move. Kids to get ready for school and all.

You huffed in slight amusement and fondness, throwing your legs over the side of the bed and stretching softly.

Just as you went to stand, your smile immediately got wiped off your face as memories started to plague your mind; unwarranted and unwanted.

Why now..

Why after all this time..

But you knew why.. HE just likes to remind you..

4 years ago.

Freshly 21 years old and you were already struggling with life, caring for a 2 year old and an 8 year old wasn’t exactly how you pictured yourself to be doing after high school.

You remember not too long ago, you were discussing plans for your 18th and soon your 21st but.. they never came to

You were hoping by this time you would’ve been trying to figure out what you wanted to be doing, maybe you would’ve gone to university. Maybe you would’ve had a better job that you could climb the ranks and be set. Who knows. Maybe the 9 to 5 job you work now, would’ve been just a part time job. Not full time.

You were grateful for Zack, at least that’s what you told yourself back then. Completely unaware that your relationship was far from healthy, even if he did help with the kids.

You were young. Never been in a proper long term relationship before, so how were you to know that his love language was wrong and toxic.

Maybe you should’ve known better than getting into a man who was four years older than you when you were only 17 but you were lonely and he seemed like really nice. It’s not like any guys your own age took a liking to your.. figure. In fact, you were quite use to guys and even girls thinking they could have an opinion on your body..

So when this guy came along, spitting all these compliments and showing affection, making you feel good about yourself for once and with the disappearance of your parents, you didn’t realise how unstable you truly were. You needed it.. at least that’s what you told yourself.

But that’s how it all starts right? The compliments. The affection. The want. The desire.

But how long does that truly last until you start realising it’s all a facade.

The possessiveness was the thing that came first, you never thought much of it at first, in fact you welcomed it. He just wanted you right? He didn’t want anyone else to have you.

When your high school friends, Zariah and Rast came to visit you, who were you to tell Zack, he didn’t have to be the only one talking. When Zariah would ask you how you were doing, Zack would answer for you. If Rast wanted to plan something with you, Zack would tell him you were busy. Busy with work and busy with the kids. It was all true though right? You couldn’t just drop everything for some mindless reason. They could do what they wanted because they didn’t have responsibilities like you did.

The gaslighting was subtle at first.

Like the ‘Oh come on Y/N. I was just looking. It’s not like I want them. I want you.’ Of course. How silly could you be? He was with you at night not them. How SILLY could you really be.

‘Who are you texting Zack?’ You would ask him when he was always on his phone, when he was smiling at the screen he glazed upon, almost forgetting about you.

And he would say ‘It’s just a friend. Can I not talk to my friends?’

Of course he could and who were you to tell him otherwise.. even if he wouldn’t let you talk to your own.

You can’t exactly remember when it escalated, perhaps you didn’t want to; blocking it from your mind.

‘Y/N where do you think you’re going? Akari is too young for you to leave her all the time. Just quit.’

‘Y/N. Baby. You don’t need the money. I’ll look after us.’

‘Y/N. Why are you so useless. No wonder you got so big in high school.’

‘Baby. You know I love the way you look. You’re pretty.’

‘Can’t you just lose the weight? I think you’d look so much more beautiful if you were smaller.’

‘You should look like this girl, so gorgeous and you could finally be proud of yourself. Even the kids will appreciate you more..’

‘Y/N. Akari and Riku need you. Zariah and Rast just don’t understand, they don’t have kids to look after. Stop being so neglectful. They will hate you when they grow up.’

‘Akari is the only thing here that is worth something. And she’s a baby.’

‘You’re mine.’

‘Are you talking back to me Y/N? Who do you think you are? Know your fucking place.’

‘You think someone else will love you like I do? Please. No one could love you like i do.’

‘You do realise no one loves you right?’

‘Are you fucking kidding me? How stupid can you be? Fucking idiot.’

‘Don’t fucking talk over me. You will listen to me and do as your fucking told.’

‘You’re lucky you’ve got a big ass, otherwise I would’ve left it ages ago.’

‘Look at you. You look so pathetic when you cry, grow up.’

‘I don’t blame your parents for leaving, they probably hated you too.’

‘You know. When I actually look at you. Like really look. You’re a repulsive and disgusting human-‘

Stop.

Was that the last straw for you? Is that when you finally got the courage to leave him?

No.

It wasn’t.

How much abuse did you really have to put up with before you finally realised you were worth so much more than his pathetic ass.

Sadly. You truly thought you deserved it. Your parents did leave after all.

When did YOU leave? That’s the real question.

Even if you didn’t remember everything, you’d always remember that night. That NIGHT.

The night was simple, it was calm in the beginning, making sure the children were fed and then you got ready to put them to bed.

You had a dreadful feeling in your chest at the thought Zack was coming over soon. You remembered thinking, is this how you were supposed to feel when your boyfriend of 4 years was coming to stay; glad that you didn’t live with him.

You were even grateful for the fact you hadn’t seen him all week. You should’ve missed him but you were far from it.

You will always remember the second hand embarrassment you felt when you were desperately trying to settle Akari in her crib and the hands that made their self known on your hips, the cold lips that pressed to the back of your neck. Akari still didn’t settle.

‘Just leave her. I want to have fun.’

‘Zack I can’t right now.’

He scoffed in your ear, his hands on your hips gripping tighter.

‘So. She’ll be fine. They are suppose to cry.’ He continued to nip at your neck, the involuntary shiver that travelled up your back at the sensation was not a welcomed one.

‘Please. Can you wait.’ You will always remember the way you pleaded for him, as you kept trying to settle your little sister and the immediate freeze that over took your body when his fingers dug into your skin, the pausing of his kisses.

‘Are you.. defying me?’

‘No. I just.. this is different. She’s just not settling right.’

Your breathing hitched when his hand moved to your throat, gripping softly before squeezing a little.

‘It seems like you are defying me..’ You gulped softly as his grip got tighter, Akari cries got louder; you were at a stand still.

‘Shut her up.’ He growled in your ear.

‘IM FUCKING TRYING TO.’

That was it. You knew as soon as those words left your mouth, the tone it came out in, pure frustration and irritation.

You were quite literally fucked.

You yelped loudly as he gripped your hair, pulling you roughly away from the crib and your bawling sister. Akari standing up with her fresh wobbly legs, bouncing as she gripped the edge of the crib, crying out for you.

‘Zack please!’ You cried out as he dragged you out of the nursery but your hair, down the hallway.

Your brother Riku had popped out of his own room with teary eyes at all the loudness in your home, the crying from you and Akari.

‘Go back to bed kid!’ Zack had growled at your younger brother, not bothering to spare him a glance as he shoved you into your bedroom; slamming the door shut behind him.

You landed on the ground with a loud thud and after the door was slammed shut, he marched to you; pure anger on his features.

‘Zack im sorry i didn’t mean-‘ you gasped sharply when he gripped you by the neck dangerously tight, his face moving closer to yours.

‘Shut up. I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses. You’ll just take what I give you and fucking enjoy it.’

In a swift moment, he had you pressed into the mattress, your back arched with your ass into the air, his hand was still very much holding you down by the neck; your face press against your bed sheets.

Despite your protests, he never listened.

He always took what he wanted.

You were too weak to fight back, no matter if you even tried to.

Your heart was aching as you heard your baby sister bawling her eyes out, her voice hoarse from screaming so loudly; crying out for her mama, even if you weren’t her real one. She was only a baby.

You whimpered painfully, when he took you. Not giving you time to adjust. Not caring too. He took you hard and rough, borderline brutal.

Your hands gripped your blankets tightly as you tried to drown at the cries and the pain he was inflicting on you.

You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed sex, maybe it was your first time with him and a couple times after that but once he started to show how he really was, you hated the idea of sex.

You’d blank out every time.

You’d never initiate it.

It always hurt with him. So why would you bother?

He’d never focus on you, he wouldn’t even try. You were always dry and it pissed him off. Which only made it worse.

Your mind went numb as you laid there, his hips thrusting against your ass with brutal force. His hand now tangled in your hair as he grunted loudly.

You didn’t cry. You wanted to for different reasons but it only got him off more. He was always determined to see you cry when he took you but not this time.

You grimaced when you felt him thrust harder than before; letting a guttural groan as he came inside you.

When he finally pulled away from you, you didn’t bother moving, just laying there; with a blank stare, the cries coming from your sister finally filling your ears once more.

‘See. That wasn’t so hard. If you’d just behave you’d have a nicer time.’

Liar. He was a liar.

His hand gripped your ass, squeezing it tightly before letting go. ‘For that. I’m not staying.’

You could’ve sighed in relief when he said that, not even bothering to protest. Just glancing over at him tiredly; watching as he did up his belt.

‘Sort that kid out yeah? She’s fucking annoying.’

You wanted to thrash out at the comment, silent anger was brewing inside you, you were desperate to shout at him

But yet..

You simply clenched your jaw as he opened the door to your bedroom and slamming it shut behind him as he left your home.

You let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding before moving to sit up, you winced softly as the pain in your lower region surged through you.

You had an oncoming headache from his hand gripping your hair the way he did and the on going cries.

You quickly pulled up your sweats before rushing from your room and back into the nursery, approaching the bawling toddler; pulling her from the crib and cradling her delicate body against yours desperately.

You shushed her as she finally settled in your arms, slowing to hiccuping; your lips were pressed to her crown.

‘I’m sorry little girl. I’m here now.’ Your voice was a whisper, your eyes glazed over to the door and you saw Riku standing there, with a pout and teary eyes. He was only eight years old and he already had a look of concern; seemingly understanding the situation more than an eight year old should.

You held out your free arm and he didn’t hesitate to run into your arms; clinging to your shirt frantically. Scared.

‘It’s okay my babies.. everything will be okay..’

Present time.

Your body had simply gone into auto pilot as you went throughout your day, almost reliving your past again. The kids were at school and you were alone.

A different alone from the feeling you felt this morning.

You mindlessly cleaned up your home, scrubbing significantly harder with your scrub daddy on the counter that Satoru had you pressed up against last night.

You hated this. Your past was tainting your present.

The words you were told long ago, resurfacing and making you question Satoru’s intentions once again.

They always started out nice.. but your body was telling you that Satoru was different but your mind was guarded; trying to protect you, making you remember what happened last time you let a man fully into your life.

Zack was an unpredictable man, it’s like he purposely popped up to remind you. You were his. No one else’s.

Regardless you grew a backbone after those times but you were still scared nonetheless..

What happened if Zack tried to hurt Satoru.. you didn’t want him to get hurt because of you.

“Ding dong! You home girl?” A familiar voice rang out from your front door before popping her head through the kitchen archway.

“Hey Za. Whatcha doing here?” You asked softly, throwing your sponge into the sink before turning to your best friend.

“Just seeing what you were doing? Haven’t heard from you in a couple of days.” She huffed slightly as she walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter you had just cleaned.

You couldn’t stop the words that fell from your lips next, like your mouth just needed to tell her what was going on without thinking.

“Zack showed up yesterday.”

Zariah was silent for a few moments, her eyes widened as she realised “Are you okay?” Were her first words to your admittance.

You shrugged lightly trying to act dismissive but eventually it fizzled out, leaving you to crash. Your eyes immediately gathering tears “No. I’m not.”

Zariah rushed forward taking you in your arms; rubbing your back in a comforting manner. You sobbed quietly into her neck; your fingers gripping her jacket tightly.

Zariah’s frown only deepened as she felt you cling to her. She clenched her jaw hard as her eyes started to sting, she hated this. She hated how broken you truly were and she just wanted to help all she could; her hand never stopping its ministrations.

“I’m sorry..” was all you could say as you clung to her, Zariah quickly shook her head, pulling back to look at your face; her hands moving to caress your cheeks.

“Don’t apologise. You’re aloud to cry. He’s an evil prick and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now..” Her soft tone she used to talk to you, calmed your nerves somewhat but not completely diminishing them.

“I don’t know what he wants. I just wish he’d leave me alone. It’s like he doesn’t give a fuck about the restraining order against him.” You mumbled into her shoulder, her hand still rubbing your back softly.

“Like I said. He’s evil. He’s only doing this to torment you. If Reagan and I could move you into our house, you know I would in a heartbeat.” You pulled back to look at her before you could say a response, your phone dinged.

In silence, the both of you turned to your phone on the counter. With a deep sigh, you step over to the counter, grabbing your phone; pressing the lock button.

Satoru

Sent 11:43am

Sleep well doll?

You let out a breath of relief and couldn’t help the small curl of your lips. Zariah sauntered over, peaking over your shoulder. “Ohhhh. No way.”

She took a step from behind you, facing you front on. “You still talking to him? I thought you dropped him because of the whole ghosting thing.” Zariah spoke with an amused tone, the previous situation being forgotten about for a moment.

“Well.. he.. came over last night.. apologised. Explained why.” You said softly; putting your phone down.

“OHHH. So he came over huh?” She smirked at you with a suggestive look; tilting her head slightly as she threw the innuendo at you.

You nudged her softly all while you blushed, your cheeks burning up. Hot.

“Damn girl. You really like him.” Her smirk dropped into a soft smile, noticing how you were getting flustered.

“He’s really sweet but he’s also a cocky ass.” You spoke with fondness, a small chuckle leaving your mouth in the process.

“Eh. What man isn’t? At least he can back it up huh.” She nudged you back with the soft smile that she held.

Your smile immediately dropped as you started to think about what you previously were, you glanced away slightly before looking back at your best friend.

“I’m scared.”

She straightened her posture slightly, her hands dropping to her side “Scared it’s all a facade?” Her voice was soft as she asked you.

You shook your head, gulping harshly “No. I’m scared because of.. what happens when Zack finds out? What happens if he tries to hurt Satoru? I don’t want him to get hurt because of me.. because of.. this baggage.”

“Look. This situation is fucked up but I think you have to tell him. For his safety and your own.. Especially since the police aren’t doing shit about the bastard.”

“But what happens if he leaves after that.. I don’t want him too..” You responded softly.

Zariah gave you a specific look, a look you have seen on her plenty of times, mixed with sympathy. “Well.. you know I love you but that’s a selfish way of looking at it, I won’t glaze over the fact that it’s still unfair to you to have to deal with this.. but you can’t hold back this information when he could be in danger. If he leaves.. then that’s his choice and you can’t blame him for that. On another note though.. as your friend, if he does leave, he’s not worth it.” She quickly added on, you understood where she was coming from but that didn’t still mean you weren’t scared in more ways than the one.

And in her own way, you knew she was right. You were gonna have to mention it.

****

Zariah stayed for a few more hours before she headed off, leaving you with your thoughts, a text from Satoru and the promise if Zack came back, to make sure to send her a text.

After a few minutes of psyching yourself up, you end up sending Satoru a text back. Short and simple.

You knew why you were hesitant and you hated it. You and him had just gotten everything sorted between the two of you and now you were being tentative.

With a heavy sigh and a hand pulling softly at the roots of your head, you take the time continuing to distract yourself with cleaning before you had to leave and pick the kiddos up from school.

You pull a few boxes out of your storage space, wondering what to keep and throw out; being invested in your activity, you fail to hear the approaching foot steps in your home and the fact there was no indication; like the front door opening to let you know, you weren’t alone.

As you rummaged through the boxes, you felt a shiver travelling up your back and immediately tensed up; slowly moving to stand up straighter before..

“Naw. I was enjoying the view you know.”

You had never felt so relieved in your entire life, compared to this moment; spinning around on the balls of your heels, facing that charming and egotistical smirk that you had grown to.. Lo-

“Jesus Satoru. You scared the shit outta me.” You breathed out heavily. Satoru simply kept smirking before stepping closer to you.

“Sorry.” You had a feeling he was anything but. Especially with that smirk on his face.

“Do you just let yourself in everywhere you go?” You teased softly as wrapped his arm your waist; pressing your body against him.

“Only when I know you are just dying to see me.” He hummed lightly as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to the side of your neck.

You couldn’t help the small smile that broke out on your lips but eventually it fizzled out. Reminding you that, you needed to tell him about Zack.

Gojo wasn’t a stupid man, far from it actually. He knew something was bothering you as soon as he teleported into your home. (Which was a risky move in itself.)

He let his hand run up your spine in calming motions, wanting to rid you of your inner turmoil; his hands acting like a protective cocoon for you.

“You smell good.” You murmured softly into his shoulder.

Gojo let out a small chuckle; pulling back to look at your face “And you’re deflecting.”

“What are you-“

Gojo shook his head; his smirk softening a fraction “Nah. We’re not doing that. There’s something on your mind and call it GREAT intuition but I think it involves me.”

He was feeling a mix of emotions, ones he wasn’t use to and ones that were very familiar.

One of the feelings that outweighed most, wasn’t exactly what he expected to feel. EVER.

He should feel relieved that this might be what he needed to know about you, about those flowers.. about your past that you kept close to your heart.

But it was being outweighed by.. insecurity.

What happens if you were regretting letting him in? Regretting giving him a chance.

It was an uncomfortable feeling. He hated it and he didn’t feel like himself. He was so infatuated with you that he was doubting himself and it was making him feel weak.

Even if he was the strongest, he felt too weak to pull away and he didn’t want to run.

“What’s going on in that pretty little noggin?” He asked softly, cradling your cheek; his thumb brushing over your cheek bone.

You take a deep breath, leaning into his touch; your eyes locking with his.

You didn’t know how to start, you couldn’t find the words that could beat around the bush but it goes to show there wasn’t time for that.

“I have crazy, psycho ex.”

Gojo stared at you for a few moments; the cogs turning in his brain, all while you continue looking for a reaction.

“Is that it?”

Your eyes widened slightly, staring at him with shock. “What do you mean is that it?”

His smirk widened softly, shrugging “I mean.. is this what it’s been about? A stupid man?” His hand moving to the side of your neck.

“Normal people don’t smile at that sort of thing.” You exclaimed softly, still staring at him with bewilderment.

He shrugged once again, his smirk never faltering “Hate to break it to you sweets. I’m not a normal guy.” He teased all while leaning in to nuzzle his nose against yours.

“Yeah clearly.” He let out a small huff, leaning into peck your lips softly before his beautiful eyes narrowed a fraction “Is he the one who sent those.. flowers?”

You just nodded softly, answering his question without the need for words, though you did add on quickly “I thought they were from you..”

“No they were hideous.”

You snorted softly at his response, causing him to genuinely smile at your reaction “You deserve so much more..” His fingers brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.

Little did you know there was more to those words than he was letting on. A psycho ex? Who might just so happen to be a cursed user? Nothing good could come out of this.

He suddenly but softly, caressed both sides of your face, making you look him “Listen to me. I don’t want you to worry about this fucking loser anymore okay?”

“Satoru-“

“Let me finish.” He spoke firmly, never breaking eye contact, you just nodded softly.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. He won’t touch you as long as I’m around. Believe that. You’re mine and I protect what’s mine..” Gojo had a glint in his eyes that you had seen before but not from him. Zack had the same glint.

Though this time.. it was different. It felt different. You could feel the aura he was projecting, it definitely held a layer of possession but a protective possession. One you didn’t know you needed.

“You promise?”

“I swear on my life.”

His thumbs continued to brush across your cheeks and you could feel the sincerity of his words; in his touch.

You just pulled him into an embrace with a soft whimper, you knew actions spoke louder than words but somehow you believed him.

His eyes fluttered closed as he returned your gesture happily; his nose pressing into your hair and inhaling your delicious scent.

He pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder and opened his eyes slightly before they caught something shining in the boxes you were sorting through, once he got a proper look..

His whole body froze.

You had immediately sensed his tenseness and pulled back to look at him but his eyes weren’t on you and they didn’t shift either.

“Where did you get that?” His voice was soft and distant, you followed his line of sight, turning in his arms; his hands gripping your waist tightly.

“Get what?” You asked softly, still unable to see what he was looking at.

Gojo stepped from you before moving to bend down and pick up the small object with his fingers; the gold colour shining brightly.

“Oh.. that? It’s not mine. I must’ve missed that. When I was throwing his things out.”

Gojo was silent as he stared at the object; his eyes narrowing.

It was the ‘Tokyo Jujutsu high crest pin.’

[rock-omelette]

MAFIA AU

In the light (or more precisely, the dearth) of Mafia AUs in this fandom, I have resolved to shut my trap and make my own.

BASELINE (Gerald, Ivo and the Family Business)

The founder and patriach of the Botnik Family Business is Gerald, and immediate family consists of Maria and Ivo, his surviving grandchildren.

The Family Business started off as a fairly powerful gang, due to Gerald's own efforts in commanding a good portion of DC and San Francisco. But it didn't REALLY take off until he took Ivo in as his right hand man after the deaths of Ivo's father, who had been his eldest son.

Gerald did most of the raising, in some sense of the word. He didn't like Ivo much--Ivo was a neurotic, combative, insubordinate and was even more ambitious than he was. But Ivo was a GENIUS.

Gerald paid for Ivo's education, middle school to every doctorate. He had 3 PhDs by 25. He had 5 by 30. He had 7, technically, on account of several new academic developments in medical industry, but Ivo had always regarded the last two were just "honorary."

Ivo respected Gerald, but he knew he could be better, could be greater than Gerald ever could be. He started developing weapons in high school, and it was his idea to establish a military liaison selling his inventions in college. They took off focus from crude revenues like "Protection rackets" and instead focused on global underground arms dealing, mercenary work, biochemical drug testing and organ harvesting. The Family Business exploded. They were calling it a proper "Empire." People were more scared of Ivo than they ever were of Gerald, and all these combined, Ivo and Gerald's relationship only got more tetchy as they grew.

MARIA

Gerald discovered Maria in his 90's, and Ivo's 50's. She's the daughter of an old mistress, left on his doorstep when she died of cancer. Gerald fairly adored Maria from the get go. She's sweet, charming, kind and obedient.

He doesn't say it out loud, but Ivo suspects Gerald plans to name Maria as his heir whenever he finally dies despite...everything. Ivo doesn't HATE her. He has too much affection for family, or he'd have killed off Gerald years ago. No, he wishes he could hate her, but he doesn't really. Maria thinks he does though, and is fairly confused and frustrated by Ivo's cold shoulder. She hasn't got any other family. She's 14.

SHADOW

Maria is closest with Shadow, who was a homeless orphan Gerald randomly takes a liking to when he found him in DC. Gerald liked his moxie. Up until he found Maria he treated the kid as some kind of foster son of sorts (Ivo thinks Gerald's gotten sentimental in his old age. He DOES hate Shadow.), so now he entrusts Maria to Shadow as her primary bodyguard. They have a sibling-like relationship. Shadow is 17.

STONE

Stone is Ivo's right hand man, bodyguard and assistant, and he has been so for a decade.

Stone is an ex-CIA who discovered the Robotnik through work and has, shall we say, developed an obsessive one sided crush on Ivo through the years.

Like he's heard of Ivo since his years in active military duty, and his inventions never fail to be groundbreaking. And they only grow more and more impressive over time.

He's been trying to find a way to get on Ivo's radar for years. He gotta be smart with it. He got his chance when he was deployed for a retrieval mission by a ticked off general. It's an off-the-book mission. His fascination with the Mad Doctor is an open secret among the ranks, and his perfect ops record made him the perfect agent for the job. Ivo had managed to get some dirt on him that he's threatening to use as blackmail, and he needs Stone to steal it back from him.

Stone uses the opportunity to prove his worth. He steals the data, and "slips up", getting caught. He confronts Ivo face to face, and reveals his intentions to be an interview of sorts. Proving the fact that he had succeeded in his mission nonetheless. Ivo was greatly amused (and slightly impressed) by the sheer recklessness, audacity and skill.

He tells Stone to prove himself by assassinating the General who sent him on the mission in the first place, and to do it in 5 hours. Stone succeeds in 3. Ivo hires him. The rest is history.

MISCELLANEOUS

Rouge, Omega, Cubot and Orbot and Sage are all part of the family as well! Human AU. They are all Shadow's inner circle, and are exceptionally fond of Maria.

The goons are called Badniks, which consist of both human people and mass produced drones. 90% of any added human goons are done by Gerald. Ivo works primarily with his drones, because he thinks people are too "squishy, annoying, stupid and inefficient." The divide in loyalty is clear but unspoken--the drones and tech are more loyal to Ivo, and the people (save maybe a few like Stone, Metal and Sage) are more loyal to Gerald.

Ivo usually hates like. Touch and bodily fluids. He wears long sleeves and gloves. But he DOES enjoy killing and maiming and the like. He thinks its entertaining as all get out. Nothing like a good torture session to let off some steam.

Ivo walks with a cane sometimes. Not for any specific reason he just looks hot.