#but since he doesn't listen to her he didn't hear it and just dug his pity party hole deeper

[sandpapersnowman]

I had been worried that cutting my dad off and distancing myself from him would put me in a difficult position with his side of the family but I've actually reconnected with a couple family members over how shitty he's been and it turns out I'm not the first one to stop talking to him, he's been blocked by like two of my aunts And my cousin

[kat-thepoet]

Veins of Violet

Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Part 7: I feel like I'm drowning

SMUT! MDNI.

A/N: This is my first time writing this type of stuff so plss be nice 😭

Previous Chapters ☞ HERE ☜

7.2k words

"So he just walked off?" Vanessa asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah," I replied, frustration lacing my words. "I have no idea why... He hasn't spoken to me since Tuesday, and it's really pissing me off." I took a sip of my coffee, trying to calm my nerves.

It was our day off, so I decided to grab coffee with Wade and Vanessa. I invited Logan, but he didn't even say anything—just closed the door in my face.

Vanessa tried to suppress a laugh, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I think he likes you," she teased, unable to hide her smirk.

Wade snorted, rolling his eyes. "Likes her? Try��obsessed with her," he quipped, leaning back in his chair. "Logan's got it bad, Peach. He's just too stubborn to admit it."

I frowned, not quite getting the joke. "What are you talking about? He's just being weird and distant. I don't see how that equals liking someone."

I glanced between Vanessa and Wade, genuinely confused as they exchanged knowing looks.

Vanessa shook her head, still smiling. "Oh, Violet, you're really not seeing it, are you? The guy is practically brooding every time you're around. Classic 'I'm falling for you, but I don't know how to handle it' behavior."

Wade leaned forward, grinning. "Yeah, seriously. It's like watching a rom-com where the hero has no clue he's head over heels. You're the only one who doesn't see it."

They both laughed, leaving me even more perplexed. I stared at them, still baffled. "You guys are ridiculous. Logan and I are just... I don't even know what we are right now, but it's definitely not that." I shook my head, feeling a mix of frustration and confusion. "He's just being moody, like always." 

Vanessa and Wade exchanged another amused glance, clearly not convinced by my denial.

Sensing the need for a change in topic, Wade leaned back and crossed his arms. "Speaking of something more exciting than Logan's brooding, my boss dug up a lead from that warehouse we took down." 

I perked up, grateful for the diversion. "Really? What did he find?"

Wade smirked. "Turns out, that place was more than just a hideout. They've been trafficking some high-tech weaponry. We're talking next-gen stuff."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow. "Any idea who the buyers are?"

Wade shrugged. "That's the juicy part we're still trying to figure out. But my boss thinks it's linked to that uptick in underground auctions we've been hearing about."

I sipped my coffee, mulling over the information. "Sounds like we're gonna have our hands full."

Wade grinned, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, my boss is gonna text me the address tonight. There's another hidden warehouse, and we're supposed to go in and play 'find and shut down the bad guys' again."

Vanessa chuckled. "Sounds like another fun field trip."

I couldn't help but smile at Wade's casual tone. "Count me in. Let's make sure they don't slip through our fingers this time."

Wade winked. "Oh, they won't. We'll crash their little party before they even know what hit 'em."

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That night, Wade took it upon himself to let Logan know about the mission since Logan and I still weren't on speaking terms. I suited up like always, pulling my hair into a tight ponytail. I waited in the kitchen, listening for Logan to finally emerge from his room. When he did, he didn't even glance my way—it was like I didn't exist. 

I rolled my eyes at his attitude, trailing behind him as I closed the door behind us. We made our way to Wade's apartment in silence, the tension between us almost palpable. When we reached Wade's door, he swung it open with a wide grin. 

"Well, look who decided to join forces again," Wade said with exaggerated cheerfulness. "You two planning to give each other the silent treatment the whole mission, or is this just foreplay?"

Logan shot him a deadly glare. "Shut the fuck up, Wade." 

Wade chuckled, unfazed. "Ooh, touchy. Someone's clearly feeling the love tonight," he mocked, his eyes darting between the two of us.

I glanced at Logan, who was still glaring at Wade, and couldn't help but wonder if what Vanessa and Wade had told me earlier was actually true. Could his coldness really be hiding something else? Wade, never one to back down from teasing, smirked and added, "You know, all this tension could be solved with one good make-out session. Just saying."

Before I could react, Logan's fist flew faster than I could blink, landing squarely on Wade's jaw. Wade stumbled back, clutching his face in shock.

"Logan! What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled, rushing forward to check on Wade, who was now rubbing his jaw with a laugh.

Logan didn't say a word, his face a mask of barely contained fury. "I'll wait outside," he muttered, turning on his heel and stalking out of the apartment.

I watched him go, my heart pounding, a mix of anger and confusion swirling inside me. Wade let out a low whistle, grinning, "Man, he's got it bad," he said, shaking his head. As Logan stormed out, I turned to Wade and smacked him on the shoulder. 

"Ow!" Wade exclaimed, but the exaggerated tone in his voice made it clear he was only pretending to feel pain. His grin widened as he rubbed his jaw, clearly unfazed by the punch. 

"Really, Violet? After Logan sucker-punched me, you're gonna pile on?"

I rolled my eyes. "You deserved it, and you know it."

Wade just laughed, the mock pain quickly forgotten. "Totally worth it, though. Did you see the look on his face? I've never seen him that riled up—priceless!"

I couldn't help but crack a small smile, though I was still annoyed. "You're impossible, Wade."He winked at me. "And that's why you love me."

We made our way outside to the waiting taxi, where Logan was already sitting in the front seat, staring straight ahead. Wade glanced at him and then back at me, a smirk forming on his face. 

"Damn," Wade whispered loud enough for only me to hear, "he must be really mad if he can't even sit next to you."

I shot him a look, both annoyed and concerned, but didn't say anything as I slid into the backseat. Wade followed, still grinning like he was enjoying every bit of the tension.

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Dopinder dropped us off a good distance from the warehouse, right behind a patch of overgrown bushes. The yard surrounding the building was wide open, so we'd have to be extra careful about making our approach. 

As we crouched behind the bushes, Wade surveyed the scene with a grin that told me he was already thinking up something dramatic. He turned to us, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Alright, team, listen up: We're all going in, taking out anyone who so much as looks at us funny. And trust me, it's going to be spectacular."

He pointed toward the warehouse with a flourish. "Once we've turned this place into our personal Marvel action movie set, we'll find the weapons. And you can bet I've got a few tricks up my sleeve to make sure we leave a lasting impression."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wade, we're supposed to keep this low-key, remember?"

Wade waved a hand dismissively. "Sure, sure, low-key—except for the part where we make everything go boom. You know, just to keep things interesting." He winked. "After we've secured the goods, I'll call my supervisor to come and pick up the pieces."

Logan just grunted, clearly resigned to whatever chaos Wade was about to unleash.

Wade's grin widened. "Alright, let's go give these fuckers the show of a lifetime. And hey, if we're lucky, there might even be some fireworks."

With that, we moved out from behind the bushes, Wade already plotting his next big explosion as we made our way toward the warehouse.  

The plan was going smoothly—almost too smoothly. We had taken down the guards outside with minimal noise, and the fighting inside the warehouse was in full swing. It was chaotic, with punches, kicks, and the occasional dramatic flair courtesy of Wade. But then, as I was taking on one of the last guards, a sharp pain shot through my arm.

I staggered back, gritting my teeth as I looked down to see blood seeping through my sleeve. I'd been hit.

Logan was at my side in an instant, his eyes wide with concern. "Violet, you're hit!"I shook him off, the pain making me wince. "I'm fine," I snapped, pushing myself to my feet. "It's just a scratch."

Without waiting for a response, I turned and threw myself back into the fight, ignoring the throbbing in my arm. Logan stood there for a second, stunned by my determination, before shaking his head and following me back into the fray.

After taking down another guard with a swift kick, I retreated to a quiet corner of the warehouse. The pain in my arm was throbbing, and I knew I needed to take care of it before it slowed me down any further. I found a moment of respite behind a stack of crates, out of sight from the chaos, and focused on my wound. 

Placing my hand over the injury, I closed my eyes and concentrated, feeling the familiar warmth of my healing powers flow through me. The pain began to fade as the tissue knitted back together, the bullet wound closing as if it had never been there.

Meanwhile, Logan and Wade were still in the thick of the fight. Logan was a blur of motion, his claws slicing through the air with deadly precision. He moved with an almost primal intensity, taking down anyone who dared come near him. His eyes flicked to me occasionally, ensuring I was safe, even as he fought off multiple attackers.

Wade, on the other hand, was in his element. He dispatched guards with a flair that was almost theatrical, mixing brutal efficiency with a twisted sense of humor. One guard got a boot to the face, another was sent flying with a well-placed explosive, and all the while, Wade kept up a running commentary of snarky remarks and taunts.

"Come on, guys, I was hoping for more of a challenge!" Wade shouted, dodging a swing from one of the remaining guards and delivering a swift counterpunch. He spun around, firing off a few rounds with pinpoint accuracy, the guards dropping like flies. "Seriously, this is just embarrassing for you!"

As the last few guards rushed at them, Logan and Wade worked in tandem, a seamless display of brute strength and chaotic precision. Logan took the lead, his claws flashing as he tore through the opposition, while Wade provided cover fire, his bullets finding their marks with deadly accuracy.

Within minutes, the warehouse was cleared. I walked over to join Logan and Wade, stretching my arm as I moved, making sure the healing had done its job. The three of us began to search the warehouse for the weapons, moving cautiously through the dimly lit corridors. 

As we turned a corner, something caught my eye—a hidden door partially concealed by a stack of crates. Wade nudged the crates aside, revealing a keypad. Logan cracked it open with a single swipe of his claws, and the door slid open, revealing a stark, white room that immediately sent a chill down my spine.

The room was unsettlingly clean, with a sterile, almost clinical atmosphere. It looked more like an operating theater than a weapons cache. Medical beds lined the walls, each equipped with heavy restraints. The metallic gleam of surgical tools laid out on trays added to the room's sinister vibe.

I walked further into the room, my heart pounding as a sense of familiarity washed over me. There was something about this place—something I couldn't quite place, but it felt disturbingly familiar.

"Does this place look... off to anyone else?" Wade asked, his usual bravado tempered by a hint of unease. He glanced around, his fingers twitching near the trigger of his gun. Logan's eyes narrowed as he examined the room. "This isn't just a weapons storage. They were doing something else here."

I nodded, my gaze lingering on the restraints. "This setup... it's not just for storage. They were experimenting on people here. Testing something."

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I took a step back, the memories of similar places flashing in my mind. I couldn't shake the feeling that this room was tied to something dark—something that connected to my past.

Logan noticed my reaction and moved closer, his voice softer. "You recognize this place?"

I hesitated, my mind racing as I tried to piece together the fragments of memories. "It's similar to places I've seen before. But I don't know why it feels so familiar..." We continued to search the warehouse, our footsteps echoing in the eerie silence. After a few minutes, we stumbled upon another door, this one almost invisible against the wall. I stepped forward and placed my hand on the keypad, using my powers to unlock the mechanism. The door slid open, revealing a room filled with exactly what we were looking for: weapons.

As we stepped inside, the cold, clinical atmosphere hit me again, sending a shiver down my spine. The room was packed with high-tech gear, but something else caught our attention—devices that were clearly designed for something far darker. Among the weapons were what could only be described as mutant torture devices.

Wade walked up to one of the shelves and picked up a metal collar, holding it up for us to see. 

"Well, would you look at that," he said, his tone oddly light for the situation. "This little beauty is just like the one they slapped on me in mutant prison. Suppressed my powers, brought back my cancer... good times."

He tossed the collar back onto the shelf with a nonchalant shrug, but the tension in the room was thick.

As Wade continued to joke, I scanned the room, my eyes drawn to something at the far end. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it—a stick, simple yet ominous, displayed on a pedestal. The label read Scepter. I moved closer, my breath catching in my throat as memories rushed back.

This was the same scepter that once held the gem—the very gem that had given me my powers. But the gem was gone now, leaving only the empty stick behind. I stared at it, the familiarity of the place washing over me like a cold wave. The smell, the sterile environment, the instruments—it all clicked.

"This is one of Strucker's warehouses," I whispered to myself, the realization hitting me like a punch to the gut.

Logan and Wade turned to me, sensing the change in my demeanor. "What did you say?" Logan asked, stepping closer.

I tore my eyes away from the scepter, my voice steadier now. "This place... it belongs to Strucker. He used it for his experiments. This scepter... it was part of how I got my powers."

Wade frowned, his usual humor gone. "So we're standing in the middle of one of that psycho's old labs? Great, just when I thought this place couldn't get any creepier."

I nodded, trying to steady my racing thoughts. "We need to get out of here—and fast. But first, let's make sure this place is destroyed so no one else can use it."

As the realization of where we were sank in, I turned to Logan and Wade, determination hardening my voice. "Stay back," I ordered, stepping away from the group. "I'm going to make sure this place is wiped off the map." 

Wade's eyes widened as he realized what I was about to do. "Whoa, whoa, hold up!" he exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "My boss wants the weapons, remember? We can't just blow everything to hell!"

I paused, glancing at Wade with a mix of frustration and urgency. "These weapons... they're not just dangerous, they're connected to something far worse. Strucker's experiments, the scepter—it's all part of it. We can't let anyone else get their hands on this stuff."

Wade scratched his head, clearly torn. "Okay, I get that, but the big guy is gonna be pissed if we leave here empty-handed. Can't you just blow up the creepy torture devices and leave the shiny toys for him?"

I considered it for a moment, my gaze drifting back to the scepter and the other weapons. I knew Wade had a point, but the thought of leaving any trace of this place intact made my skin crawl.

"Fine," I relented, my voice tight. "I'll take out the worst of it, but we're not leaving anything that could hurt anyone else."

Logan nodded in agreement, stepping back to give me space. Wade sighed, clearly still unhappy but resigned. "Alright, just don't take out the whole building. I'm not in the mood to explain that kind of mess to my boss."

I focused my energy, feeling the familiar surge of power within me. With a controlled burst, I directed it at the medical beds, the restraints, and the devices meant for torturing mutants. Each one exploded into pieces, leaving nothing but scorched metal and debris behind.

Once I was satisfied, I turned back to the others. "Let's grab whatever weapons we can salvage and get out of here before anyone else shows up." Wade gave me a thumbs up, clearly relieved. "Now that's the kind of compromise I can get behind."

After salvaging what we could from the warehouse and ensuring the rest was nothing but rubble, we headed back to the taxi. As soon as we approached, Logan slipped back into his usual spot in the front seat, his expression dark and brooding. He didn't say a word, just stared straight ahead with that familiar scowl on his face. 

I sighed, sliding into the backseat next to Wade. It was like the tension from earlier hadn't dissipated at all—if anything, it felt even thicker now. Logan's silence was practically deafening, and I could feel the distance he was putting between us.

Wade, sensing the shift, leaned back with a dramatic sigh. "Well, wasn't that just a delightful little field trip? Nothing like a good warehouse raid to bring everyone closer together," he quipped, though his eyes flicked to Logan with a hint of curiosity. Logan just grunted, not even acknowledging Wade's attempt at lightening the mood. The taxi began to move, and I found myself glancing at Logan's rigid posture, wondering what was really going on in his head.

Wade, never one to let things sit quietly, leaned over and whispered to me, "Y'know, for a guy who just survived a mutant torture lab, he sure knows how to hold a grudge."

I forced a small smile, but the weight of the evening hung heavy on me. Logan was still pulling away, and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more going on beneath the surface—something that went beyond just the mission.

As the taxi sped through the night, I stared out the window, lost in thought, trying to figure out how to break through that wall Logan had built around himself.

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We pulled up to our building, the taxi coming to a stop in front of the entrance. Logan was out of the car before it even fully stopped, his strides long and determined as he made his way inside without a word. Wade and I lingered behind, watching him go, the tension between us heavy.

As Logan disappeared into the building, I turned to Wade, the weight of the evening pressing down on me. "Can I sleep at your place tonight?" I asked, my voice quieter than usual. Wade shot me a look, a mix of sympathy and exasperation. "Nope," he said flatly, shaking his head.

I frowned, not expecting that answer. "Why not?"

He gave me a small, knowing smile. "Because you need to talk to him," Wade said, his tone surprisingly gentle for him. "You can't keep avoiding whatever this is between you two. It's just gonna keep festering if you don't deal with it."

I sighed, the thought of confronting Logan weighing heavily on me. "He won't even look at me, Wade. How am I supposed to talk to him?"

Wade shrugged, his usual nonchalance returning. "That's for you to figure out. But trust me, hiding out at my place isn't gonna fix anything. Besides," he added with a smirk, "I've got plans tonight. Important, superhero-y stuff."

I couldn't help but chuckle despite the situation. "Fine," I muttered, knowing he was right, even if I wasn't ready to admit it.

Wade patted me on the shoulder. "Go on, V. It'll be fine. You've faced way worse than a grumpy Wolverine."

With a resigned sigh, I nodded and turned toward the entrance, steeling myself for whatever conversation awaited me inside. I walked into the apartment, the door closing softly behind me. The space was dimly lit, the quiet almost unnerving after the chaos of the mission. As I stepped further inside, Logan emerged from the bathroom, drying his hands with a towel. He didn't even glance in my direction, his focus fixed on the kitchen as he walked past me without a word. 

The silence between us felt heavy, thick with unspoken tension. I stood there for a moment, watching him as he moved around the kitchen, his movements deliberate and controlled, as if he were doing everything in his power to avoid acknowledging my presence.

Taking a deep breath, I decided that Wade was right—I couldn't let this go on any longer. I had to say something, to break through the wall Logan had put up between us.

"Logan," I called out softly, my voice sounding almost tentative in the stillness of the room.

He paused for a fraction of a second but didn't turn around, continuing to busy himself with whatever he was doing. My heart sank a little, but I wasn't going to let him shut me out.

"Logan," I said again, more firmly this time, taking a step closer to him. "We need to talk."

Logan didn't turn around as I spoke. Instead, he kept his back to me, his hands gripping the edge of the counter. "I have nothing to say to you," he muttered, his voice low and tense.  

His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I felt my heart lurch in my chest, pounding so hard it felt like it might burst right out. My nerves were a tangled mess, like I was standing in front of a caged animal, unsure when—or if—it was going to lash out. The air between us was thick with tension, and I could barely breathe under the weight of it. But I knew I couldn't back down now, no matter how much fear twisted inside me. This wasn't just about what happened tonight—this was about everything that had been building up between us, all the things left unsaid. 

Taking a shaky breath, I forced myself to step closer, my voice trembling but determined. 

"Maybe you don't, but I do. We can't keep pretending this isn't happening, Logan. You can't keep shutting me out."

Before I could say more, Logan spun around, his eyes wild, blazing with a fury I hadn't seen in a long time. "What the hell were you thinking?" he growled, his voice rough and barely restrained. 

The intensity in his gaze was almost overwhelming.

"You weren't careful! You could've been killed!"

 I stared at him, stunned by the force of his words. "Logan, I'm fine. It was just a bullet—"

"Just a bullet?" he cut me off, his voice rising to a roar that echoed off the walls. "This isn't a joke, Violet! You need to be more fucking careful!"

His words hit me like a physical blow, the sheer intensity of his anger sparking my own. After days of silence, he chose now to finally speak? To break the silence by yelling at me? My blood boiled, the frustration of the past week bubbling over.

"Why the fuck are you yelling at me!?" I snapped back, my voice sharp enough to cut through steel. "I wasn't being reckless—I know what I'm doing. And where do you get off ignoring me for a days and then suddenly acting like you care?"

Logan's fists clenched at his sides, his entire body coiled tight with barely restrained emotion. His eyes burned with something raw, something dangerous. "I couldn't stand it," he bit out, his voice thick with emotion. "Seeing him all over you, touching you like that... It made me fucking furious."

I blinked, confusion and anger battling within me. "Wait- you're mad because of some guy? Logan, I was just flirting. It's not a big deal!"

He let out a harsh, bitter laugh, his hands running through his hair in a gesture of frustration. "Not a big deal? Violet, it was driving me insane watching him put his hands on you. And you... you were just letting him."

The accusation in his voice was like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from my lungs. My heart raced as I tried to make sense of his words. "Logan, we're not together. I didn't think... I didn't know you'd care."

He turned away from me, pacing like a caged animal, as if trying to rein in the storm raging inside him. But when he turned back, the look in his eyes made my heart stutter. They were wild, desperate, filled with a longing that terrified and thrilled me all at once.

"Of course, I care!" he burst out, his voice cracking with frustration. "You think it's easy for me to just sit there and watch that? I've been trying to keep my distance, trying not to let this... this thing between us get to me. But I can't. I can't hold it in anymore."

His words crashed over me like a tidal wave, leaving me breathless, my mind reeling. "Logan..."

He stepped closer, the space between us charged with a dangerous energy, his voice dropping to a rough whisper that sent shivers down my spine. 

"I'm jealous, Violet. I hate seeing other men look at you like that, touch you like that. It makes me want to tear them apart. But I've been trying to hold it in because... because you deserve better than that. Better than me."

I couldn't stop the sob that tore from my throat as his words sank in, my heart pounding in my chest. I reached out, my hand trembling as I placed it against his chest, feeling the rapid, frantic beat of his heart beneath my palm.

"Logan, you don't have to push me away. I didn't realize how you felt... but I care about you too. More than I've been willing to admit."

His eyes softened, the anger and frustration bleeding away, replaced by something tender and raw. "You do?" he whispered, the vulnerability in his voice nearly undoing me.

I nodded, a small, trembling smile tugging at my lips. "Yeah, I do. And I don't want to keep pretending I don't."

The air between us shifted, charged with a tension that was no longer filled with anger and jealousy but something far more intense. Logan's hand cupped my face, his thumb brushing against my cheek as he leaned in, his breath hot against my skin. When his lips met mine, the kiss was a storm of desperation, need, and unspoken feelings, a collision of emotions that had been building for far too long.

The world around us dissolved, leaving only the two of us lost in the overwhelming intensity of the moment. His lips moved against mine with a fierceness that took my breath away, his hands gripping my waist as if he was afraid to let go. I melted into him, my fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as if I could fuse us together, as if I could drown in the wild storm that was Logan.

When we finally pulled back, gasping for air, our foreheads resting against each other, Logan's eyes were dark with emotion, his voice rough with need as he whispered, "I don't want to see you with anyone else, Violet. You're mine. And I'm yours."

I looked up at him, my heart swelling with a fierce, undeniable emotion as I pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm yours, Logan," I whispered back, my voice filled with a certainty that left no room for doubt. "And you're mine."

The words between us lingered, heavy with a promise neither of us could resist. Logan's eyes were dark, a storm of emotions swirling within them—desire, need, and something far deeper that made my breath catch. The space between us felt electric, charged with a tension that had been building for far too long. My heart pounded in my chest, my pulse quickening as his hands, rough and urgent, traced the curve of my waist, pulling me closer until our bodies were flush against each other.

Without a word, Logan's hand found mine, his grip firm yet trembling with barely contained desire as he led me toward his bedroom. Each step was a battle against the overwhelming need that consumed us both, the air thick with anticipation. The moment we crossed the threshold, it was as if a dam had burst. Logan's mouth crashed down on mine with a force that stole my breath away, his lips demanding and possessive, claiming what he had fought so hard to deny.

My back hit the wall with a thud, but I barely registered the impact. All I could feel was him—his hands, rough and calloused, roaming over my body with a desperation that made my knees go weak. The scent of him, that intoxicating mix of leather, pine, and something uniquely Logan, filled my senses, making my head spin. I breathed him in, my mind clouded by the sheer force of my desire for him. It was more than just attraction; it was an obsession, a craving that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

"Violet," he growled against my lips, his voice thick with desire, sending a shiver down my spine. His hands slid down my thighs, lifting me effortlessly as he pressed me against the wall, his body pinning me in place. The raw strength in his grip made me feel small, vulnerable in a way that was intoxicating. He wasn't just touching me; he was consuming me, every stroke of his hand, every press of his lips setting my skin on fire.

I could barely think, my mind clouded by the sheer force of my desire for him. I had never seen Logan like this, so unrestrained, so utterly lost in his need. And it thrilled me. My pulse raced as he carried me to the bed, his lips never leaving mine, the kiss growing deeper, more desperate with every passing second. By the time we reached the bed, my entire body was trembling with anticipation, my skin flushed with a heat that only he could satisfy.

The moment we hit the bed, the world around us ceased to exist. Logan tore at my suit, his hands trembling with a need so fierce it left me breathless. There was no gentleness, no hesitation—only a primal urgency that matched my own. My suit fell to the floor in a tangle, and when Logan finally discarded the last of his own, I gasped, my eyes widening in shock as I took in the sight of him.

He was big—bigger than I had imagined, his dick thick and veiny, the sight of it sending a rush of heat through my body. My breath caught in my throat, my heart racing as I stared, unable to tear my eyes away. The sheer size of him was intimidating, yet undeniably arousing, and I could feel my body responding, the anticipation almost unbearable.

Logan noticed my reaction, and a slow, knowing smirk spread across his lips. "Like what you see?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down my spine. I swallowed hard, my cheeks flushing with a mix of arousal and embarrassment. 

"You're... you're huge," I whispered, my voice barely more than a breathless gasp. 

His smirk widened, a flash of something dark and primal in his eyes as he stepped closer, his hand cupping my chin, tilting my head up to meet his gaze. 

"I'm going to make you feel every inch of it, Violet," he promised, his voice rough with desire. 

"And you're going to love it." With that, he captured my lips in a searing kiss, his hands gripping my hips as he guided me back onto the bed, his body pressing me into the mattress with a weight that made my heart race. The moment he positioned himself at my entrance, the anticipation was almost too much to bear. My breath hitched as he began to push into me, the stretch intense, almost overwhelming, but the pleasure that followed was indescribable.

"God, you feel so good," Logan groaned, his voice thick with need as he buried himself deeper inside me, filling me completely. The sensation was almost too much, the sheer size of him sending shockwaves through my body, making my back arch off the bed. I clung to him, my nails digging into his back as I tried to adjust to the feeling, but the intensity of it was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

"Fuck, Violet," Logan growled, his voice strained as he began to move, each thrust slow and deliberate, driving me wild with need.

 "You feel so right, so perfect." His words sent a jolt of electricity through me, making me clench beneath him, causing him to moan. I could barely think, my mind clouded by the overwhelming pleasure that pulsed through me with every movement. Logan's pace quickened, the force of his thrusts building until the bed beneath us creaked ominously.

"Look at you," he murmured, his voice a low, rumbling growl as he watched me with dark, hungry eyes. 

"You're so fucking beautiful like this, Violet. Falling apart beneath me." I whimpered at his words, my body responding to his every touch, every thrust from his balls hitting my ass causing me to pull his hair, making him moan. 

"That's it baby, just like that", his voice rough and possessive, only made the pleasure more intense. I was losing control, my mind a haze of need and desire, and all I could focus on was him—his scent, his touch, the way he filled me completely, as if we were made to fit together.

"Logan," I gasped, my voice breaking as I felt the tension coil tighter within me, threatening to snap at any moment. I could barely form the words, my mind consumed by the intensity of what he was doing to me. He was driving me insane, his pace punishing, and I could feel the bed straining under the force of our passion, the frame creaking ominously.

"Don't hold back," Logan urged, his voice rough with command as he thrust into me harder, deeper, his grip on my hips tightening. 

"I want to hear you, Violet. I want the whole fucking w- world to know you're mine." His words pushed me more into my edge. 

With a cry that tore from the depths of my soul, I shattered, my body convulsing around him as the waves of pleasure crashed over me, stealing my breath, my thoughts, everything. The world around me blurred, my senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the orgasm that ripped through me, leaving me trembling and weak beneath him.

As Logan neared his own release, I could feel the tension in his body coil tighter, the muscles in his back and shoulders flexing as he drove into me with a force that was almost brutal. His breath was hot and ragged against my skin, each thrust more desperate than the last. And then, just as he was on the brink, I felt it—the unmistakable sensation of his claws extending, his grip tightening on my hips as he lost control. The sharp tips of his claws brushed against my skin, not cutting, but a reminder of the raw power he held.

"Fuck, Violet... I can't—" Logan groaned, his voice raw, and with one final, shuddering thrust, he buried himself deep inside me, his release tearing through him like a storm. He came inside my pussy, filling it all up. The force of it sent shockwaves through both of us, and with a loud, splintering crack, the bed beneath us gave way, collapsing under the sheer intensity of our lovemaking.

We tumbled onto the floor in a tangle of limbs, the sudden drop knocking the breath from my lungs. But neither of us could stop the laughter that bubbled up in the wake of our passion, a wild, breathless sound that filled the room, mingling with the ragged gasps of air we both struggled to take.

Logan rolled over, pulling me into his arms, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. The claws retracted as he held me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin. 

"I think we broke the bed," he said, his voice filled with a mix of satisfaction and disbelief. I laughed, a sound filled with exhaustion and contentment as I curled into him, my body still humming from the aftermath of our passion.

"I guess we did."

For a long moment, we lay there, tangled together on the broken bed, the aftermath of our passion leaving us both breathless and spent. But even as the world around us slowly came back into focus, the intensity of what had just happened lingered in the air, a reminder of the raw, unfiltered need that had driven us to this point.

Logan pressed another kiss to my forehead, his lips tender as he whispered, "You're mine, Violet. And I'm never letting you go." I smiled, my heart swelling with a fierce, undeniable emotion as I pressed a soft kiss to his chest, breathing in the scent of him that I was so obsessed with—the scent that was now forever linked with the memory of this night.

"And I'm never letting you go, Logan. Not ever. "And in that moment, wrapped in his arms, the world outside faded away, leaving only the two of us, bound together by a love so intense and fulfilling.

The bed lay broken beneath us, the aftermath of our passion evident in the shattered frame and the wild, tangled sheets. But as the haze of desire began to fade, a gentle calm settled over us. Logan's breath was still heavy, his body a warm, solid presence beside me, but his fierce intensity had softened into something tender and protective.

After a moment passed, Logan shifted, careful not to move too quickly, his hands gliding over my body with a gentleness that was in stark contrast to the wildness of moments before. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low and filled with concern as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face.

I nodded, still catching my breath, my body humming with the lingering echoes of our lovemaking. "I'm more than okay," I whispered, my voice soft but filled with the truth of it. 

Despite the intensity, despite the overwhelming force of what we'd just shared, I felt safe with him, cherished. But Logan wasn't satisfied with just my words. His eyes, those deep, expressive eyes that had held so much fire, now scanned my face, searching for any signs of discomfort. 

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" His voice was laced with a vulnerability that tugged at my heart.

"No," I assured him, reaching up to cup his face, my thumb brushing gently over his cheek. "You didn't hurt me, Logan. You never could."

His shoulders visibly relaxed, the tension easing as he let out a breath he'd been holding. He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled back to look at me again. 

"I'm going to take care of you," he murmured, his voice filled with a quiet determination.

Gently, Logan untangled our limbs, his hands sliding beneath me as he lifted me effortlessly into his arms. Despite the broken bed and the chaotic state of the room, he moved with purpose, carrying me to the bathroom with a tenderness that made my heart swell. The scent of him, still strong and intoxicating, surrounded me, comforting in its familiarity.He set me down on the edge of the tub, his hands lingering on my hips for a moment as he looked at me, his eyes filled with a warmth that sent a shiver down my spine. 

"Just sit tight," he whispered before he turned to run the water, testing it with his hand until it was just the right temperature.

As the water filled the tub, he returned to me, His touch was reverent, as if he were handling something precious, and I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for the way he cared for me.

Once the tub was ready, Logan helped me in, the warm water enveloping me in a soothing embrace. He slid in behind me, pulling me back against his chest, his arms wrapping around me as we settled into the warmth. The tension in my muscles began to melt away, replaced by a profound sense of peace.

Logan's hands moved in slow, gentle circles over my shoulders and back, massaging away any lingering aches. His touch was so tender, so full of love, that I felt a lump form in my throat. I leaned back against him, closing my eyes as I let the sensation of his hands, the warmth of the water, and the steady beat of his heart against my back wash over me.

"You're so good to me," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the sound of the water.

"You deserve it," Logan replied, his voice rough with emotion. 

"After everything... you deserve this." We stayed like that for a long while, the room filled with the soft sound of water and the steady rhythm of our breathing. Logan's hands never stopped moving, tracing soothing patterns along my skin, his touch grounding me in the here and now. I felt completely at ease, completely safe in his arms.

When the water began to cool, Logan helped me out, wrapping me in a thick, warm towel before drying himself off. He led me back to His bedroom—or what was left of it—with a soft chuckle at the sight of the broken bed.

"Looks like we'll need to get a new one," he said with a grin, but there was no regret in his voice, only satisfaction. 

"We'll just sleep in mine," I said with a smile.

We walked into my bedroom, and I slipped into bed first. Once I was settled, he joined me, sliding in beside me and pulling the blankets over us. As he wrapped me in his arms, I felt the warmth of his embrace, a sense of comfort washing over me. I nestled into his chest, breathing in the comforting scent of him as he held me close. His hand stroked my hair, his fingers combing through the damp strands with a tenderness that made my heart ache with love. 

"Sleep, Violet," he whispered, his voice low and soothing."I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." And with those words, a deep sense of peace washed over me. 

The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of us, cocooned in the warmth of each other's embrace. As sleep began to claim me, the last thing I felt was Logan's lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head, a silent promise of his unwavering love and protection. In his arms, I knew I was safe. And as I drifted off, wrapped in the comfort of his care, I knew that no matter what, we would face whatever came our way—together. 

Part 8: COMMITMENT

[softpascalito]

I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 7 I

Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.

But he doesn't stay a stranger.

Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 29k+ Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added

AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist // Playlist // ko-fi

notes: everyone be safe this year ♡

this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.

Chapter 7 – The Ceremony Part 2

‘I feel that I want to be forgiven, that I want her to forgive me. But I do not know how to state my crime.’

— James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room

The church is filled with more people than you even thought lived in Jackson. The front row is occupied by Mrs Moss and a woman that keeps patting her back reassuringly. Next to her, you make out Cat among a few of Lane’s friends, two or three others that you know played important roles in her life. She got to Jackson years before you, having spent most of her teenage years with the community and, evidently, having left quite an impression. The two seats on the very right are yours and Joel’s. He is anxiously perched on his, his fingers tapping the wood below him as he keeps his focus on you.

The rows behind him are filled with more friends, acquaintances, the others that help out at the school. And behind them are children. Seemingly all the children of Jackson, the ones that have been told off a million times for talking in class or not doing their homework by both Lane and you, are sitting in their finest clothes, staying still and quiet, somber expressions on their small faces.

It hurts more than anything else could.

You finish taking stock of the audience by letting your gaze fly over the last rows—and those standing behind them, for the lack of space. You see Maria and Tommy, him sending a reassuring nod your way before you both turn your attention back towards the priest, who is finishing up his speech.

“The only thing we can do is keep the memory and spirit of Lane alive. We will now hear a few words from those who knew her best. And I ask you all to listen and remember her, not for how her story ended but for who she was before.”

A short nod from the priest towards you is followed by the walk up to the small podium that seems to last a very long time. You’re painfully aware of the eyes on you, eyes that have not seen you since you’ve been carried through the town in Joel’s arms a few days ago. This too, seems much further away than it actually is.

You place the neatly typed sheets of paper on the podium and take a deep breath.

***

Joel doesn’t leave your side the entire way to the graveyard. The wind has picked up again and the gray sky promises that more snow is on the way. You’re walking just behind the front of the procession made up of Mrs Moss and a few people around her. You would’ve been very content to stay a bit further behind—it makes you feel exposed to have so many pairs of eyes following your every move. How many of them believe you didn't know about this? How many will go home and whisper about Lane behind closed doors, saying that they saw it coming. How could anyone?

The grave is outlined, even if not dug. A small wooden cross has been erected where the headstone will be eventually. You can barely bring yourself to watch as the priest places the wreath in front of it. It’s beautifully crafted, decorated with a black ribbon in the front. For a second, you forget what it symbolizes and instead just stare at the flowers. You’ve never known you could find so many colors in the Wyoming winter. There is purple and yellow—and blue. Hydrangeas and bluebells, trailing all around the twigs that hold the wreath together.

The words of the priest bring you back to the reason you’re staring at the flowers and immediately, their beauty is lost on you.

There is no ritual, no petals or earth. With no grave, you can’t help but feel there is no way to say goodbye. The cross is just a piece of wood, carrying Lane’s name and the two dates that mark the span of her life.

It’s not a very long one.

Joel steers you through the crowd, people occasionally giving you a small, sad nod. You try not to look at them for more than a few seconds, tired of the look they all have. The same face, the sad somber eyes, the same pat on your shoulder. You’re glad when you reach the town hall, the tables decorated with the same flowers you’ve just seen placed on Lane’s grave. It kills whatever appetite you try to pretend to have.

There is cake, mostly homemade, a few women and men still shuffling around the tables, trying to find a place to squeeze in their baked goods. Just like in the church, it feels like the whole town is around and, slowly but surely, people grab food and drinks and settle down, their voices low and eyes cast downward.

A few of the younger people, including Cat, eventually come up to you, expressing their condolences and inviting you to sit with them. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Joel mutters into your ear for the third time and you give a small nod. “Yeah, I get along with them. I swear, it’s okay.” He only seems mildly satisfied with your response, lingering next to the table you’ve settled down at for another second.

“Just—” You lean over to him. “Don’t leave without me?”

“I’ll be around, just want a quick word with Tommy. You come and find me if you wanna leave early, okay?” He hums into your ear and you give a quick nod before watching him make his way through the crowd.

He’s a tad less touchy, with all these people around, and as you listen to the conversations around you and attempt to swallow the cake that feels much too dry in your mouth, you catch yourself longing for another cold night and a good excuse to curl up against his body and let his warmth soothe you, away from the prying eyes and the whispered conversations that seem to follow you around.

***

Joel's eyes are scanning the crowd when he finds a familiar face, one that makes his insides churn with guilt. He glances over his shoulder, checking if you still seem okay, before making his way over to a corner towards the front of the hall.

He sighs as he reaches the table tucked away there, leaning against the wall. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey,” Ellie replies quietly, her gaze wandering around the room behind them, her eyes never quite reaching Joel. Her gaze avoiding him the same way she does. He lets a few seconds pass, forcing himself to soak in the uncomfortable silence. Then, he clears his throat quietly.

“Look, I’m sorry I haven’t come by yet, it’s all been a bit—” He struggles to find the right word. It’s complicated because Lane is dead and he needs to get that into your head without ruining you, and during all that, he also needs to ignore the thoughts in the back of his own head that seem to get louder each time he feels your body pressed against his.

“A bit much,” Ellie finishes for him. She stares at her feet for a moment before looking up, this time directly at him. “It’s fine. It’s nice she has someone who looks out for her. If that’s what this is.”

Joel feels like he’s been punched in the gut. If that’s what this is?

He sucks in a breath, watching as Ellie sways back and forth, her eyes still on him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, if you look out for her, that’s nice. Unless that still includes lying, by your definition.” Her face shows that she knows it’s a low blow. Joel nods curtly, clenching his jaw for a moment. His glance wanders back to the table you’re sitting at and he half wishes there’d be something there, some sign of distress that would give him an excuse to walk away from this conversation. But there isn’t and he knows that he doesn’t deserve it either way.

“Ellie, this ain’t the time for that,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head a bit as he shifts his focus back onto her. “If you’ve got something to say about—”

“I’m moving in with Dina.”

If he’s been punched in the gut before, now Joel is certain his attacker has added a knife to the equation. It must be visible on his face because Ellie’s defiant gaze falters slightly and seems to soften a tiny bit as she watches him, no doubt waiting for the reaction to her news. For once, he looks absolutely dumbfounded, his mouth slightly open, waiting on a confirmation that he hasn’t just heard those words.

“I didn’t mean—” Ellie groans a little, moving her hands into the air. “Not right now. But we’ve been talking about it and I figured…” She gives a small shrug. “I figured you should know. Means you can have the shed and—”

“I don’t want the damn shed,” Joel blurts out. He doesn’t say that he just wants Ellie, and preferably you, close by. He gets that she wanted some privacy, more than the illusion of it in the form of a thin wall between their rooms, but having her in his backyard seemed like a good compromise. It allowed him to make sure she ate or to have breakfast at the kitchen table, the window facing the backyard and Ellie’s front door.

Joel lets out a small breath, slowly, as he nods to himself. Damage control. That’s the best he can do right now.

“The shed is yours, always. The house is already way too big for me ‘n myself,'' Joel mutters, fighting the urge to tell her that he should get some say in this, that this is a decision that they should make together. One he’d very much like to put off for a long, long time.

Joel doesn’t know how to let go because he’s never had the chance to. Everything he’s lost has been ripped away from him with violence and blood trailing behind it. Not once has he willingly given something up. So he doesn’t know how to.

He protects and holds them close until they die in his arms. And they always die.

The image of Sarah's body flashes before his eyes for a moment and Joel grabs the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white as he tries to push the thoughts away.

“Look, I think Dina is a good—you seem to like her,” Joel mumbles, glancing around to make sure they’re not being overheard. “You do … like her, right?”

Ellie makes a noise that almost sounds like a small laugh, but somehow, it only makes Joel feel even smaller. “Yeah, she’s not so bad.”

“Right,” he responds because he can’t think of what to say to that. He racks his brain for a reply that won’t immediately cause another row, something that feels impossible with Ellie these days. He distantly longs for their time before Jackson—when she hung on his every word, never quite did as he told her but stuck with him nonetheless. A tiny voice in the back of his head points out that maybe the town tucked away behind Wyoming's mountains doesn't hold such good luck after all.

Ellie’s gaze is back on the room behind Joel and she tilts her head slightly as she speaks. “You won't be completely by yourself in the house though, right? Not with her moving in.”

It's not that she doesn't like you. The few lessons of yours she attended were admittedly fairly interesting and more than once you'd brought Ellie a new book you'd stumbled upon while learning to navigate the library—usually something about space. But the one thing she's never quite understood is your relationship with Joel, why both of you have dinners and dance around each other and still never seem to get anywhere.

“She’s not moving in,” Joel clarifies, his voice straining slightly. “Look, if that’s what this is about—” 

Ellie quickly shakes her head. “It's not. I mean—it's a factor. But it doesn’t… I don't care who lives with you, Joel.”

They both know her words are not entirely true, but Joel decides to let it slide, knowing that the only thing waiting for him here is another argument. “Okay, look. You don't know what she's going through. Lane’s death has been hard on her and none of us can imagine—”

“What it's like to see your best friend die?” Ellie interrupts. Her tone isn't loud enough to stand out among the noises of the crowd around them but it still carries that hint of disappointment. “Yeah, jeez, I really can't imagine.”

Fuck.

Joel shakes his head, his fingers tapping against the fabric of his pants more quickly. “Ellie, I didn't mean—” He sighs, his gaze wandering back to the crowded room.

It's at the same moment that Joel's eyes meet yours and you take in his features, a small frown appearing on your forehead at what you see. 

He doesn’t know that he looks so incredibly tired.

***

His mind is still on the idea of being all alone in his house, of Ellie being so damn far away, when you finally leave the funeral feast, stepping out into the cold air.

“Was that Ellie with you earlier?” you ask politely.

Joel nods weakly, unable to open his mouth, unable to tell you about their conversation or about Ellie’s plans. It feels like the knife is still lodged in his stomach.

“It’s nice you two are speaking.” He’s lucky your attention is still on your own thoughts, enough to not notice the small flicker of something that dances over his face before he takes a deep breath and goes back to pretending that everything is okay. He has an idea that you feel very similar about the day. Pretending that it’s normal to be writing eulogies instead of finals.

“Your speech was lovely,” he says in a low voice, remembering how he had to pinch himself to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.

“Thank you,” you mumble back, your gaze focused on your feet below as you leave the main street.

“I wanted to stop by the graveyard again,” you pipe up softly. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course. You wanna go now?” Joel asks carefully. The sky is still overcast, the snow piling up more and more. The town seems more bleak and cold than ever, even more so in direct comparison to the warmly lit town hall with the smell of good food and the constant hum of conversation all around.

The graveyard is empty.

The small cross and the footsteps in the snow are the only signs that someone was here. Or in Lane’s case, that someone isn’t.

As you turn the small corner that opens up to the meadow that holds around two dozen other graves, Joel carefully sneaks his arm around you, pulling you a bit closer into his side, silently vowing his support.

Your stomach drops as you get close enough to make out Lane’s name carved into the wood. Something seems to be clawing at your chest from the inside, violently attempting to find its way out of you and into existence.

A bit of snow has gathered on the cross and you reach out to wipe it off when your gaze falls onto something between the flowers below. Slowly, you bend down, trembling fingers pushing the snow to the side, only to be met with the most horrifying thing you could see placed on a grave.

It is a kid's drawing.

Two stick figures, one with blue hair, your names written underneath. A small rainbow hovers above Lane’s head, the colors just slightly off. You feel like you’re going to be sick.

You barely notice the sharp intake of breath behind you as Joel glances over your shoulder to see. His hand rubs small circles into your shoulder.

“I didn’t think they’d put them out here.”

Whatever has been inside your chest finally breaks free and with it a wave of anger like you have never known rolls over you. It settles inside every inch of you, wrapping itself around your skin, casting your body.

It moves faster than it has in days when you turn around and roughly shove Joel’s hand off you, taking a staggering step back into the untouched snow.

“You knew?”

Joel stares at you with a mix of pity and surprise. And you truly, fully hate him. For giving you that look, always giving you that look, since the first time you met. Like you’re something that’s broken, that he needs to fix.

He seems to fight to find the right words for a moment before nodding carefully, the hand that was on your back a moment ago slightly raised in a calming gesture. “They wanted to help the kids grieve. So they let them draw the pictures. Maria said—”

“I should’ve been there,” you press out, not yet willing the tears to fall that you can already feel bubbling up.

A flicker of something else flies over Joel’s face. A sternness you haven’t seen on it in a long time. “We didn’t think you were—”

“I don’t care what you think!” you roar, sending a flock of birds up in the trees flying into the sky. “I’m so tired of all of you treating me like a goddamn child!”

Joel’s face has fallen slightly and he swallows hard, raising his hand a little higher. “I didn’t mean—”

“I don’t care what you meant! None of you know what this is like so stop pretending that you understand! I never wanted this!”

“I know you didn’t,” Joel says quietly, his eyes alert and trained on you.

“You said it would all be better! You said it was so much easier and safer in Jackson, that everything would be better here! You were the one who made me stay!”

Joel just stands there, letting you yell and rage at him, and somehow, that makes it even worse. You want him to yell back, to fight you on this, to do anything but stare at you like you’re this sad thing he can’t leave. An animal that has been grazed by the bullet. Enough to hurt, not yet enough to bleed out.

“What else have you been keeping from me?!” You don’t think you even care. But now that you’ve started yelling you can’t seem to stop. Because you know that the anger is the only thing between you and the overwhelming wave of grief that will come crashing down on you the moment you allow yourself to breathe.

Joel almost looks like he wants to apologize but then his face changes and he shakes his head firmly. “I have not been keeping things from you. I’ve been protecting you.”

“I never asked for your protection!” you yell, moving a step forward to shove at his chest. It barely makes him stumble. Controlled, strong, as always. But something is simmering under his skin too. And you can practically see the moment it reaches his throat.

“Fine! The next time the kids draw pictures for you, I’ll just shove them right into your face!”

You both immediately know he’s crossed a line. Your lungs are burning, the cold air hurting your throat as your voice finally quiets down. “They drew pictures for me?”

Joel opens his mouth and closes it again, shaking his head and it suddenly becomes clear to you that he didn’t mean to say this, that you only know of yet another secret something because you’ve pushed him to a breaking point. He takes another breath, forcing his voice to be quiet when he speaks again.

“I put them below the stairs. I was gonna give them to you, I just thought it was a bit early to—”

You don’t hear the rest of his sentence, instead storming off towards the large metal gates of the graveyard. The white house on Rancher Street is not locked. The hallway seems oddly long as you hurry through it, your gaze fixed on the wooden stairs leading to your bedroom.

His bedroom, you correct yourself. You don't live here. And you surely won't after this.

The first two cupboards you open contain fresh linen that you carelessly shove out of the way. The third one holds a small plastic container that is filled to the brim with paper in a variety of colors.

There are pictures of the school, the classroom, Lane at the front. Lane surrounded by children. Lane next to someone that looks like you. Lane in the woods. There are a few poems and cards in between, each one neatly stacked in the container. There is a weathered postcard showing Flat Creek Lake.

You’re on the wooden floor of the hallway when Joel finally steps into the house. The box clutched to your chest, your body practically curled up around it.

He has been able to keep the tears at bay during your speech. He isn’t able to now. He doesn’t notice that he’s crying until the first tear slips down his cheek and he quickly uses his hand to wipe it away.

Your sobs are almost silent, your body shaking with the effort of keeping them that way.

Joel knows it’s his fault. Because despite all the arguments he’s been storing in the back of his head, he knows you’re right. He is the one who made you stay. He promised you an easier life in Jackson, watched as you trusted him and built your life here rather than anywhere else. And in return, you’d gotten two years of happiness and two pages of goodbye.

A whimper escapes your throat, weak and high-pitched, like the animal that has been grazed by the bullet is finally dying. You’re all trembling limbs and weak sobs as he carefully pries your fingers off the plastic container and sets it aside, making sure not to hide it. He’s done with that.

His back protests as he lifts you up with no support from you, no hands clutching on to him like they usually do, no arms wrapping around his torso. But you don’t fight him, which is all he thinks he can ask. He takes the stairs very slowly, careful not to trip before placing you down into his bed.

Your eyes are closed but he can’t tell whether the grief has worn you out too much or if you’re just trying to ignore that he’s there. He only lingers for a few moments, taking off your shoes and coat and spreading the thick winter blanket over you. Then, he quietly closes the bedroom door behind him and heads back downstairs, ignoring the fact that every part of his body is screaming at him to turn back, to find your trembling body below his sheets and wrap himself around you, hands sneaking over your skin.

Instead, he creates a makeshift bed for himself on the couch, kicks off his own boots and settles down, his eyes landing on his wrist. The hands sitting below the cracked glass of his watch are still, the exact way they have been for over twenty years.

He allows his mind to wander to his daughter for a few moments. Not the night of her death, not even the year. But to her first day of school, to their first Christmas, to his daughter Sarah rather than his dead daughter Sarah.

‘Remember her not for how her story ended but for who she was before.’

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

notes: thank you for reading ♡

[fishsticksloser]

Rottmnt Future leo and female reader platonic, little angst, happy ending one-shot?

The plot (this happened after kraang invasion) is about Reader who's a mutant turtle like her 4 brothers, She's young about 8 - 10 years? And Her uncle leo is spoiling her a lot; Play with her, give her gifts & hardly say no to her requests tho she doesn't asks for much from her uncle, just either playing dolls or carrying her on his back.

The rest were so confused why he do that as he doesn't do this to Donnie, raph or Mikey ( yes he spends time with them but he doesn't spoil them THIS hard), turned out after talking with future leo privately, Reader had passed away earlier in the invasion before it reach the apocalypse level, like after 2 weeks?

And this scares future leo as what if it still happened to her? She was so young when it happened and everyone were upset.

Everyone call him down after getting the idea and reassure him reader is safe and since he's around she's even more safe.

You'll Be in My Heart

F!Leo + gn!reader

Warnings: family fluff, angst, death, comfort

A/N: Yes, named after the Tarzan song because Phil Collins didn't have to go so hard. This prompt broke my heart. Future Leo is called Leon. This was going to be posted in June, but I didn't want to move around all of my scheduled posts, so I just moved one. :)

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Leon spent a lot of time with you. After you were finally introduced to Leon, he spent every waking moment with you. Sometimes he'd even sleep next to you due to his nightmares. He loves you so much. He didn't notice that his other brothers were jealous and confused by his actions.

The younger turtles found Leon sitting next to you bed one night. They all listened in, wanting to know what Leon was feeling. He always hid his feelings, never telling them what happened to you in the future. Of course they worried.

"As long as I'm breathing, I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe." Leon whispered, rubbing your temple with his thumb. His hand covered the back of your head. "No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, you will not be alone. I'm not going to loose you again."

Leon held you as you guys watched your favorite movie. He had your favorite snack sitting in his lap, you were talking about the movie and he was listening intently. He smiled and added his thoughts on what was going on every once in a while. He could hear his young brothers, whispering to each other.

The movie ended and you yawned so Leon decided to put you to bed. He picked you up, holding you gently, your head laying on his shoulder. You started drifting off, Leon started humming. He laid you in bed, tucking you in. He knelt next to you, kissing your forehead. He left your room. Leon jumped as he turned the corner, all 4 younger turtles stood there.

"We need to talk." Raph said, his arms crossed.

"You guys can talk to me about anything." Leon smiles.

"What happened to Bee in the future?" Mikey starts. "Why are you so protective? Why do you always spoil them?"

"Oh..." Leon looked at the ground. He had a feeling they would ask, you hadn't, you didn't know he was from the future. You just believed he was some distant uncle.

He got flashbacks of the day you died.

You all had been out enjoying the amazing summer air, when Kraang dogs attacked. Leon had been in charge of you, but a building fell. He tried to cover you, but he got knocked aside. After the dust cleared, he tried to dig you out, yelling for help. Leon's ears were ringing, tears rolling down his cheeks from dust and the thought of what came of you.

He dug you out, calling your name. He found you, you were weakly holding out your arms to him. Leon scooped you up, yelling for his brothers. They portal back to the lair, Leon holding you close to him.

"Dad!" Mikey called, tears falling down his cheeks as well. They started to assess your wounds. Splinter joins you all in the med bay, hugging Mikey.

"What happened?" Splinter asks.

"I tried to cover them, a building was falling..." Leon sobbed, bandaging up your external wounds while Donnie scanned you. "I couldn't... I'm so sorry, Bee."

You started drifting, you eyes closing slowly. Leon yells, he begs you to stay awake. You couldn't. Leon only blames himself.

Leon told them. They all covered their mouths, tears coming to Mikey and Raph's eyes. Leo shook his head, not able to look at his future self.

"It wasn't your fault." Raph says, pulling Leon into a tight hug. "You can't stop a building from falling."

"That won't happen." Mikey tells him. "They have 4 brothers and a 7 foot uncle."

"We will never let anything happen to them." Leo nods.

The boys let Leon treat you how he wanted although, they did ask him to stop giving into your every want, it made them look bad.

[originemesis]

The darkness subsids and what the Harbinger sees next is a scene long since past. Adam would recall this spot very well as he looks up at the skies of Hell. The warm brimstone beneath him made only warmer by flowing yellow ichor that traces down the curved bumps of maskless cheeks. He should remember now the beating he had taken from Lucifer, the relentless pummeling of a being far more powerful than him and the cracking ache of broken pride and... Realization. But of what? Oh, he knows, he knows very well what this whole mission was meant to be...

From above him, the form of the Wrathful One stands over him, Adam finds that he cannot speak or move, forced to listen.

"The poor Gardner, what will they take from you next? They had ripped Eden from you, they had doomed you to a loveless life, stole a rib and just as you thought it was over, they took her from you. Of all the souls that had been recruited, yours is the most... Volatile. You make sure you are the loudest in the room, that all the attention is upon you because you know well the truth. Your purpose in existence had concluded long ago. You had populated the Earth. Congratulations. Your existence is not needed any longer, the mere fact you had made it this far as a notable other is impressive and yet, if credits were to roll, your name would appear in a long list of nameless others. You are no longer someone special and maybe... You knew that."

The scene shifts suddenly, in the first humans arms is his lieutenant. The dagger that had taken her life still driven within her body. She looks up at him with a smile that reads an emotion that he wishes to know and with unsaid words, he would never know.

"Maybe that is why you had given up. Maybe that is why you never pushed yourself. The exterminations were so easy, so one sided. You were invincible, you didn't need discipline, you didn't need to care because everything was already catered to. Just show up, kill, leave, repeat. But now... If you had done more, if you hadn't slacked off and fool yourself into everything being so simple and easy... Maybe she would have survived."

Suddenly Adam found his hand curling around the knife handle that had dug itself into the Angel and time freezes. It is only them, she stares up at him, unfrozen but undying. The man wished for pain, so he has it. Adam is forced to stay in this moment of almost death. Watching the woman's breathing stagger, shudder, and wheeze. He gets to watch the pain in her eyes but the light never leaving. Adam is forced to sit here and live in the moment of losing Lute but never getting the conclusion of her death.

"My judgment has been made, the crime of your sin shall be met with a fitting punishment."

It is clear to Adam the choices he is given. Stay in this moment for eternity or plunge the dagger deeper within his Lieutenant and relieve the both of them of this pain.

The explosion of light at the conclusion of his caterwauling was very nearly what it should have been all along. Not a weapon of mass destruction fashioned out of a soul- but simply a device used to channel and amplify music. Music was every angel's way of expressing emotions too far embedded within one's self to show willingly after all. But with the burst of light came a sudden darkness soon after. One that swallowed the surroundings even as he stood far away from the source that had swallowed the others. There was always a snake in Eden- and it was ever hungry. Even now. Especially now.

This scene doesn't surprise him. He watches it on repeat enough in his shards to not feel the slightest bit jarred once his vision returns to him- ever blurry and with no ability to blink to help clear up what he's witnessing. Though it's not like he wants to. Not that he wants to hear what he's been charged with either, because deep down he already knows. Being a loud, insufferable fuck is just the band-aid he's used this whole time to ignore it, but eventually an ever-bleeding wound saturates through the bandage and begins to stink and fester. And fester it has, but he has no way of covering it up now, forced into a shivering slump over someone he saw too many times on replay, and yet never tired of knowing she was there at some point...existing beyond what his memories could conjure. If anything upset him more than the reruns of her death, it was that he had such a difficult time recalling anything she was beyond that moment. But sometimes when he was still, sequestered off in the blinding, white room of a holding cell that he almost preferred to the social 'pen' that Mic conjured up for the lot of them, he could recall the way her sharp eyes would glint and how she'd tut almost fondly over his insistence in what condiments actually belonged on hotdogs.

He'd protest if he could- tell the big bastard that it was funny he insisted that he was no longer relevant to the plot when it was he that was the most devote of the harbingers when it came to bringing the blown out candle of realization to other cycles that they weren't special no matter how much they fought against the inevitability of dour acceptance. But considering he's here now- 'helping' out a cause he'd sooner scoff about than take seriously if it weren't for the memory of his lieutenant caught in a painful grip that transferred hints of its agony to her, the point is surely past its expiration date. Almost as much as she was despite how fresh she looked cradled in the tremble of his arms. 

Her smile is a knife to the gut, but he can't double over more than he already is- frozen in place, golden eyes glazed over as he considers the context within hers. This is the only time he's thought she's awfully attractive. Awfully fucked up as it is. Almost like he was doomed to never notice until she's moments from being gone forever. The delivered conclusion haunts him as he considers the slope of her expression, lips trembling against the force that keeps him sealed there. Warm salt slides down and passes  the threshold of his lips, but he can't lick it away. It drips on her face face- one drop, and then another. If he had just taken the mission seriously- maybe then she would be the one despairing over his smile. The council wouldn't have made it easier for either of them, but at least they would have weathered that storm together.

Not like this... 

Hand involuntarily curled about an angelic weapon driven in deep, he pauses, feeling the sensation of free choice flooding back into his wrist. He doesn't want it now- craves the casual acceptance of whatever came outside of Eden. A shaky breath in and a few more lost tears break as he squeezes his eyes closed and bares his teeth as if he can forget that face burned into his memory so harshly that it repeats on every reflective piece of him he loses along the journey of staying put together. Everyone must stand alone, after all. He just thought it would be different between the two ribs he was missing- the second cradled in his arms while his talons flexed unhappily on the dagger's edge. 

There's no telling how long he's there- this realm where time passes thousands of years in the blink of an eye in real time. He watches- as he always has, the raw details of her pain that lingers and never fades no mater how many times he's witnessed the conclusion. "...no end, and no beginning-" The man murmurs, voice cracking as he relays quiet bits of the pesky song to her perpetually fading existence. "You're here with me...it's like a-...dream." Squeezing the handle, he traces the blurred edges of her gaze with his until he seals off the view with a harsh shuttering of eyelids as if he could keep that last second of a smile ghosting the edge of her lips and stay within it forever. "...everyone must stand alone." After several lifetimes in one instance and a few seconds in the other, he drives the dagger upwards through the rest of her back and into his chest- pinning them together to bleed out together.

It feels like ... home.

[omniblades-and-stars]

• Together by the Fire We Dream

Together by the Fire We Dream is my Valethen Lavellan/Thom Rainier post-Trespasser fic wherein after Solas' true identity comes to light, after he already broke her heart once, Valethen resolves to find a way to talk to Solas one more time so she can tell him he's being a fucking idiot. There will be a lot of traveling, magic, and grief processing.

Here's a bit from my most recent chapter since what I've got written for the next chapter isn't ready for eyedbarls yet.

Now, it was a different kind of mistake she'd made. She had fallen in love with the liar of liars. And even after his first disappearance after the fall of Corypheus, she allowed Solas to hurt her again. It shouldn't have been so painful, she thought. And yet, here she was, feeling as if she were made up of shards of shattered glass. Her fingers brushed across deep grooves scratched into another tree, pulpy splintered scraping against her skin. "Maybe it feels like a knife twisting in the wound because I can see that he still cares for me. The knowledge of it did not ease my pain as he told me he intends to destroy the world. "That he still cares about me isn't enough. He can call me vhenan and lethallan all he likes, but they are empty words from the mouth of one who doesn't want what's best for me. He only wants what will assuage his own guilt." The forest was quiet, save for a distant rustling in the underbrush as she walked. The sun had long gone down, she lit her way with a small globe of mage-light, like a guiding star hanging lazily just in front of her. She carefully stepped over five-toed paw-prints to avoid slipping in the mud as she walked with her memories. If she focused, she could still smell the hide armor Cyril wore when he went on a hunt, she could hear the creaking of his bow as he aimed for a target. His arrows always flew true. "And it falls to me again to clean his mess. It seems someone else always pays the price for his follies," she said with a defeated sigh. The weight of stopping the theoretical end of the world sat heavy on her shoulders, turning her steps sluggish as she lost herself in thought. That she didn't know what to do next, where to even start, gnawed at her guts with sharp teeth. "I am broken again, Cyril. He took my vallaslin and my arm, and maybe I could forgive those and the lies. But he wants to bring down the Veil, and my pleas against his plan fell on deaf ears. Does he not respect me enough to listen?" It was a selfish hurt, the feeling that Solas did not hold her up as high as she once thought. Of course, he didn't. He left her without even so much as a whispered goodbye, not even a letter. It was a fool's hope that he would simply stop his plans because she asked, at least not the first time. Not when she was on her knees, clinging to the shreds of her dignity and fearing that she was going to die. Reason had not been present then. A heavy, sardonic laugh dropped from her lips as she tread around freshly dug earth. "Fen'Harel ar ghilana. I have been misled. What am I to do, ma vhenan? I am sick with heartbreak and worry." Valethen rubbed her shoulder, a pitiful attempt at self-comfort. It only served to make her feel smaller, more alone. She missed the warm rumble of Cyril's laughter as he wrapped his arms around her, chiding her for being too serious. She missed how easy her smiles were in those short years by his side. She missed feeling whole.

[juviabrainrot]

hello, again - a nalu fanfic

synopsis: lucy heartfilia recently moved back to her hometown after leaving for the big city 6 years prior. she then runs into familiar faces like natsu dragneel- her old best friend- in the worst way possible. now trying to rekindle their friendship, will it develop into something more than just best friends?

chapter 1: hello

A little bit of background information: Magnolia -small coastal town

Lucy pov- 6 years prior, age 12

-

"Wait... what?" I said in disbelief. "We're... moving? Why?!"

"Your dads business is starting to grow honey! If we move to the city, he can make it grow even bigger!" Mom said. Dad nods his head in agreement, "If the business ends up growing bigger, you will be able to do anything and everything you've ever wanted!"

I looked at them both. They both had smiles on their faces trying to sell their argument, but it wasn't working.

"But what if I'm fine with the life we have now? Maybe I don't want to us to be super duper rich. Maybe I want to have a peaceful life in Magnolia. What if I'm not built for city life!?" I questioned hysterically. I didn't want to move- I wanted to stay here! Mom bit her lip and looked down. She knew I didn't want to move to begin with, and I think she doesn't want to leave either. She's probably going along with Dad so he's happy.

Mom opened her mouth to speak, but Dad cut her off, "Listen Lucy, we've already listed the house for sale and bought a new one. We're moving in one week so y..."

I just zoned out for the rest of his speech. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be in this house right now. I wanted to go to our safe spot. After Dad stopped talking, I hummed to what he said and walked outside and down to the beach. I heard Mom yell after me, but I didn't respond. Just leave me alone.

As I walked, I texted Natsu: Lucy meet me at our spot, k? Natsu sure

Later

When I got to the beach, I went to our usual area and sat down in the sand. The sun was setting and the ocean waves were weak. I hugged my knees close to my chest and let the previous conversation sink in. We were moving and I had to tell Natsu. How would he react? Would he be sad, disappointed, angry, or all of the above?

"Hey Luce, what's going on?" Natsu said as he walked up and sat right next to me. I didn't respond at first, I just kept staring at the ocean. But then he started poking me. "Will you stop that!" I yelled, slapping his hand away. "Tell me what's wrong then dimwit!" he yelled back. I sighed and sat facing him, holding both his hands in mine. He furrowed his right eyebrow and looked confused. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and let it out speedy quick:

"I just found out that I'm moving in one week because my dad's trying to grow his business and thinks we'll do better in the city than out here."

He just stared at me for a second and then started chuckling in a low tone. "That's not a very funny joke Lucy. I know I'm usually the funnier friend, but you really need to tone up your jokes. Maybe you should start taking notes from me."

"Do you really think I would joke about this?!"

"Maybe...?"

I sighed again and frowned, "I really wish I was Natsu, but I'm being for real. I'm sorry."

I felt the tears in my eyes start to fall down my cheeks. He knew I wasn't joking now. He just squeezed my hands and brought me in for a hug. That's when I started to break down, started to cry hysterically like I had just broken a bone. "What am I supposed to do now..?!"

"I... I don't know." He said in a broken tone and dug his face into my shoulder, embracing me now since he wouldn't be able to in the future.

Present Day- age 18

It was raining when I strolled up to the old academy. I transferred to Fairy Tail Academy, which is a high school in my hometown. I was finally back! Would anyone remember me? Would Natsu remember me? Will he still want to be friends with me?

I took a deep breath and opened the door to my car and bolted to the front doors of the academy, trying not to get soaked. Dad drove in a separate car and arrived here before me so he could help me with everything. He was already in the front office when I got inside.

After meeting and consulting with the principal, I was given my schedule, a map of the school, and my dorm room number. By the time the meeting ended, it had stopped raining, but was still cloudy outside. We walked to my car and took out my belongings in silence.

We got to my dorm and I opened the door slowly. It was kind of a big room with two twin beds, two desks, two dressers, a couch, and a coffee table. Not gonna lie, I kinda vibed with it. We walked inside and placed my things down on the unoccupied part of the room.

"Ok Dad, I can take it from here. Thank you" I said. He gave me a sad expression and hugged me, "I'm gonna miss you sweetie. I know you're gonna be more happy back here than at home. Just try not to get into too much trouble- and no drugs!"

"I know. I'll miss you too," I chuckled and then looked up at him from the hug, " and I can't make any promises."

"Not funny. But I'll go ahead and leave you now so you can start unpacking."

"Bye Dad"

He waved goodbye and walked off. I closed the door to my dorm and looked around, observing my roommates decorated side. She had lots of books lying around and a framed picture of a jacked-up scary looking guy with lots of piercings snuggling with a black cat. It was kinda cute.

Suddenly, the doorknob starting jiggling and the door opened. In came a tiny girl with blue hair and two big books. She looked at me and her face started to light up.

"OH MY GOD! You must be Lucy!" she said, grabbing my hand to shake it. "My name's Levy, I'll be your roommate!" She's very lively, you can say that for sure.

"Oh, hi! Nice to meet you Levy."

"Do you need help with anything?" she asked.

"Uhh, not right now really. I was thinking of going to get a soda from the vending machine down the hall in a second, and then was gonna start unpacking."

"Oh, well the vending machine in the girls dorms is broken so we usually go to the boys to steal from theirs. I can totally show you the way!"

Did I want to go to the boys dorm? No. Did I want my soda? Hell yes. "Lead the way then!"

Levy nodded and I followed her to the building next to the one we were in. As we walked into the boys dorm, it immediately turned into a hectic scene; boys arguing in some rooms, loud music blasting from others.

I put my money into the vending machine and pressed the button for my soda. It dropped loudly in the machine, and when I opened it, it sprayed all over my face! How hard was this shaken beforehand?!

"ARE YOU OKAY LUCY?!" Levy asked frantically, "Hold up, I'll-"

She was caught off by someone bursting out into a fit of laughter. I turned my head to see the person and was shocked. He was bent over holding his stomach from laughing hard, and even though his face wasn't showing, I could tell who it was just from the hair color.

"Natsu...?!"

He finally stopped laughing and looked up. His face went blank as he looked at me with his mouth open wide.

"Lucy...?"

-

A/N: this is my first time writing in like, 2 years so bear with me. does this lowk sound like life is strange? yes. do i care? UMMMM... not really. anyways, tbh idk if this is gonna be a fr book because of views and stuff. i hope you guys will still enjoy it!

thanks for reading &lt

[skellebonez]

I yelled about your blorbo for like two google doc pages, now you have to hear me yell about mine, it's only fair. You dug your own brainrot hole (and mine. thank you.) by answering these humongous asks

Nezha looks like he's in his twenties and he's absolutely been in and out of young life crises for his entire fucking existence, someone hand him some soda so he'll be lively at the party and not pass out before it even starts. I headcanon that he can get similar sugar highs that kids can. Give him a bottle of soda, and he'll be sweet and active for the next few hours and then crash.

He is. a little bit pudgy. just enough to cup his face like a pet and it be cute. His reactions to being called cute are either his knee-jerk "NO, I'M NOT >:(" or "Yes, I am, now pet me. This is not a request." His beloved shifu, Erlang Shen, adores him for this.

SPEAKING OF ERLANG SHEN. Nezha and Erlang have a very adorable son-adopted father dynamic because Nezha needs a good paternal figure dammit leave me to my fluff. Erlang trains Nezha when the latter of the two isn't dropping on his feet from exhaustion, and when he is, Erlang isn't shy about carrying him to bed.

Nezha's attitude towards MK is in the same ballpark as his attitude towards SWK. He thinks MK is reckless, but that he has potential if he can learn to fucking plan ahead, for the love of all that is sweet and carbonated.

He likes Mei but every now and again, he has a crisis over the fact that she's distantly related to Ao Lie, who's the nephew of Ao Guang. Nezha is more afraid of Ao Guang than anything else since he keeps having nightmares about that One Legendary Moment in his myth.

Something Nezha says once in a blue moon is that he has three homes, and one of them is a cramped apartment with his little brother. He's referencing MK when he says this. Sometimes he'll also say it's in the bowels of a volcano hidden away from the rest of the world, and then he's referencing Red Son.

NEZHA HAS FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. He doesn't go anywhere without them. They have charms on them that match people he cares about. He has charms for Iron Fan, Erlang Shen, MK, Red Son, Mei, Sandy, SWK, and charms for two OCs, Lian Lanhua who belongs to that-one-enby-onyx, and Bai Xian, my snake pseudo nun who has some really great lore I'll go into detail about in another ask. If I named my snake badly, please inform me. (Bai Xian is she/he/they, Lian is she/her)

INHALES

Ramble over, I hope you enjoyed this completely self indulgent tangent about my interpretation of Nezha ft. OC mentions + MK, Red, and Erlang.

...my autism is showing. Oh well. Shrug.

Honestly, I accepted my fate the second you sent your first ask xjxjdjjd. I will gladly listen to all blorbo ramblings.

I absolutely adore it when people make Nezha and MK have a brother like bond. And I really really like the way that you have him interacting with Erlang Shen! (He also absolutely deserves All of the soda in the universe.)

His iffy relationship with Mei also makes complete sense! And the fact that he feels close enough to Red Son and MK to consider their homes his secondary homes is delightful.

I do genuinely enjoy your rambles! And your OCs sound interesting.

As for names, I suggest double-checking possible characters in Mandarin and Cantonese and the like for the chosen name and cross reference those with other words/names to make sure it all makes sense together! There is a little bit of leeway with stories like LMK since half of the characters have names like "demon bull king", so it's ok if a name doesn't make 100% complete sense as a normal name in our universe, but it is still always good to check! You never wanna have that moment when you realize your character's name accidentally translates to something unintentionally weird like Canned Fish because you didn't google it (I actually saw somebody legitimately name their character this in another fandom before someone pointed it out).

[tavern-of-lore]

Chapter 1 -

Cold Breath

It came in the night, the kingdom awoke to its horror descending from the dark clouds above. I thought we had time, the mages said it would be days until the beast would arrive at our shores. Yet, they were wrong, and over half a million suffered the consequences.

Step after step I took through the rubble of once beautiful brick homes.

"Hey! Is someone out there? I need help!" A deep but desperate voice called out from behind a large mound infront of me.

"Please!? It - it might come back!" Sounded a more panicked voice as I hesitated to respond.

I snapped out of my trance, rushing over the rubble to understand the anxious man before me.

"Thank the gods! Please, whatever you can move, she's trapped under the old mechanics house -" he said while shoving bricks after bricks down into the small mound, "- I haven't heard from her for almost 20 minutes, I'm not sure if I can get to her on my own"

I crawled down, careful not to shift my weight or the weight of the rubble and cause more pressure in this girls potential grave.

"No" I said under my breath, "stay positive."

Even though I didn't believe it, I had to at leady think it. Keep my mind, and whats left of my soul.

"h-hey I" he muttered in between pants of breathlessness, "-I really appreciate you not running away."

We shuffled through more rock, dust, and broken bricks than I thought possible. The mechanics house used to be huge, a structure of metal kissing brick in functional unison.

"Don't thank me till we're done" I said, probably to harsh.

His expression at first was frustration, turned to understanding. Save a life, thanks for when we deserve it.

We hauled and moved for what felt like hours, finally getting to what looked like a hand.

Scrambling as fast as we could rip brick from the hole we uncovered a little girl.

"Honey? Daddy's here" he said in sorrow as his fears seemed to be coming true.

"Let me see her" I held out my arms to hold the child no older than 8 years old as he held her hand.

I held my ear to her mouth, listening for any breath at all. Hearing nothing I quickly moved to her chest, pressing in the center and closing my eyes as heat and light poured from my core, down my arm, and into her chest. It then receded back into my heart and went back to its normal temperature.

"What? What's wrong?" he said almost like a plead to the gods for her life.

I opened my eyes, a tear running down my right cheek. "She uh, she" I choked for a second, steadying my thoughts while holding her. "She's gone sir, I'm sorry"

"No, no it wasn't your fault" he said while taking her back in his arms. "Thank you too, Mr.?"

His tone defeated, a man with nothing left and acceptance being the only source of sanity.

"It doesn't matter, the guilds gone and so are my brothers and sisters." I said not realizing it's insensitivity.

"I-I'm sorry-"

"It's ok sir, I just, need to bury her. Can you help me once more? You've already done more than enough" he tried to say through tears and a trembling lip "and I'll be on my way, too"

I knew what he meant, he had no intentions of living past her freshly dug grave.

"Of course"

A few hours passed as we carefully carried her to the fields just outside the ruined kingdoms walls. We set a stone carved with whatever tools we took with us and he said a prayer over her.

"She was so happy to be leaving, we were excited to stop by the mechanics shop and pick up some trinkets for her. Since she earned her propper in her classes, she was owed a toy" he chuckled holding some of the thin warped metal vaguely resembling a bunny's torso now that I focused on it, "just didn't grab it fast enough I guess. I couldn't get to her sooner, now she's with our gods."

He began to sob, falling to the gravel path just infront of the grave. I held my arm out and gripped his shoulder gently, "It's not your fault, the mage guild said we had more time, how they missed a change that big wasn't a mistake nor coincidence."

I patted his shoulder as it began to rain, "it'll come back like you said, we need to leave"

"I'm not leaving her again" he said, no emotion in his voice or expression.

I understood immediately, taking a step back and starting to walk away "I'll leave you to it then sir, be well and know she loved you as she knew you loved her"

He said nothing, continuing to stare at the grave growing more muddy as the rain picks up.

I got to the edge of the woods near the Southern Gulf before I heard it. Like screaching thunder rolling from the sea over the corpse of a kingdom, and a man who was ready for fate to circle back around.

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[ednaeflowers]

She lazily disregards the remark. ❛  Even if your outfit is more black than purple, you're already registered as a grape to me, Gruri.  ❜ He could be a blackberry instead, but Bluri sounds just like 'blurry' and it isn't unique enough. A nickname from her needs to have a special Edna trademark touch to it. The nicknames are more for easy people to tease or people who annoy her, but while Meebo complains, Gruri plays along, which is not as bad. In a way, the names sometimes make it easier for her to interact with people. ❛  So tough luck if you want to be something else.  ❜

Edna is quiet when the mood turns more somber, Yuri spilling out his past with more details than before. Throughout the journey with Sorey, she has come to learn that not all humans are bad; that there is some good to them no matter how bleak it may have seemed at first. When Eizen was still alive, as a dragon still roaming around Rayfalke, some people actually began worshipping him. In ancient times, dragons were symbols of great power—so of course humans would pray to them with their misguided faith for some sort of protection and guidance. They had the audacity to start praying to random dragons when things go south for them despite the fact that it's them who made things go south in the first place? It only vexes her; made her think she's better off without humans in her life; made her lose hope for humanity.

But upon hearing Yuri's tale of his parents, about the mother he lost and the father he lacks, and his foster family ... Perhaps it wasn't fair of her to simply pin the blame on humanity as a whole. She doesn't have parents, so she can never truly understand that part of him who might've wanted a parental figure in his life, but Edna understands loss very much. In fact, after listening a bit more, she thinks he actually has it even worse than her. Edna's always had her brother with her since the beginning; Yuri barely had anyone, the closest he could get were those who are not even related to him. It didn't occur to her that Yuri has a story of his own, a story that she doesn't know about. Somehow, it hurts a little less to know that his family was also one thicker than blood. Edna is quite the private person, but before meeting Sorey ( who, in turn, led her to meet so many more people ), she's only had herself for company. It's surprisingly easy to tell her own story to Yuri just knowing that he has also experienced her type of loss. Her story is tragic, but there are so many others who also go through the same feeling. It's comforting.   

Upon their arrival to the grave, Edna feels foolish to have actually hoped for a miracle. She is deathly quiet as she looks at the holes dug around the area, something sinking heavily in her heart. She thinks about the final battle with him on this very clifftop: she thinks about how Sorey gently told her that he'd help her end it, then she recalls how she wanted to be the one to deal the final blow, and she absolutely knew that this meant Onii-chan would die and never come back again, and that this meant he would truly be free of the suffering he's been through these past 200 years, and that she could finally tell him goodbye—

Edna is angry that her vision is starting to blur, feeling something wet trailing down her face. She is so angry: angry at herself, angry at the world, angry at those looters. Have they no respect for the dead? Sure, the grave itself is untouched—but to Edna, this whole clifftop, the exact same spot she had stood upon to kill her own brother, it's nothing but downright offensive to her on such a deep, personal level. She starts remembering why she hated humans; thinks about how they're so selfish and only care about their dumb treasures—

But Yuri is human and he's fixing the holes by pushing the dirt back into them, soiling his hands and dirtying himself, and the sight makes Edna snap out of her thoughts, looking down. Quietly opening her umbrella, she hovers it right in front of herself to shield her messy face before slowly approaching closer. The tears won't stop despite her trying to school her face into her usual flat expression. It reminds her how she did this right after Onii-chan died and she had tried to hide the evidence from her friends, but she could tell they all knew she was crying anyway. There's no doubt that Yuri knows this too. She hates crying in front of others, hates how vulnerable it makes her feel, but she isn't one to leave when Yuri's kind enough to stay and help. At least there's one human around who's actually decent.  

❛  There was never a body or coffin buried,  ❜ she softly says, and is displeased that she ends up sounding hoarse. Her eyes lower to the ground, seeing tear marks land in front of her boots. It feels like she's suffocating. ❛  ...He was a dragon when he died. His body vanished the moment we took him down, but I wanted to make a grave for him anyway. That way, it was like he finally stopped suffering and came home for real.  ❜ Perhaps this was what Sorey had meant back then, that death was like salvation to some. Edna hadn't understood it at first. She thought death only makes the suffering worse, because what is worse than death than death itself? But the more she traveled with Sorey, the more she saw the errors of that mindset—and that it was out of cowardice on her part, not obliviousness, that had her so apprehensive in the first place. 

After so many years of searching for a cure to no avail, Edna always had an inkling that death was the solution to free Onii-chan from his fate, but she never wanted to acknowledge it. She desperately clung onto those old memories and hoped so much to be wrong, and kept running away until it cornered her. The moment Sorey returned to Rayfalke with his mind made up, Edna knew there was no more turning back. It was a devastating, heartbreaking decision—but not one she regrets. Yuri was not there to witness it, so it's an ordeal itself to explain it to him. She might not be able to convey it entirely, but it's how she shows her thanks for helping return the grave back to normal. It's the least she can do. 

Listening to him again, she wipes at her eyes with a hand, still hiding behind the umbrella. Yuri also lost his brother? Onii-chan wasn't quite like that, but in a way, Edna thinks leaving home to be a pirate could sort of count as being misled, if only to be a little petty and blame him for making her feel so hurt. It sounds like Yuri's brother made some mistakes but has tried to amend them in his own way—and in the end, it seems that life ultimately did not favor him. That must've been a very dangerous poison. She can't help but feel that this brother must've been gullible to some degree. When the story extends to the person he loves, Edna wonders if it was worth joining the knights in the first place. It seemed like it was more than just a simple matter of having a hard time fitting in; it's more like he just couldn't handle the changes happening in his life at the time. Almost like ... he wanted to give up just because he lost his brother. Edna understands. 

Her tears have finally stopped, but her eyes feel sore after she wipes them again. ❛  Onii-chan was a big dork. Always rambling about artworks, history, and rare artifacts—and he was really overprotective.  ❜ She sniffles softly, feeling fond. ❛  We wrote letters to each other before he turned into a dragon, and he'd mail me lots of gifts and souvenirs. I never met them, but he even told his friends about me, so I'm sure he was thinking about me.  ❜ A brother like that would not not stop thinking about his sister. She doesn't know if Yuri's brother is older or younger than him, but: ❛  All siblings are like that. Can't help but think of each other.  ❜

Edna knows her eyes must look puffy and red right now, so she stubbornly keeps her umbrella in front of herself. Aside from her brother, Mikleo is the only other person who's seen her crying more than once, and that already took a toll on her self-esteem. He had her umbrella in hand that day and even willingly covered himself with it when she began breaking down about her brother in their conversation. Mikleo only did that because he knew she'd hate it more if he saw her tears. Would Yuri do the same? Look the other way for her to save face? Normally, the pity would make her angrier, but ... Edna knows she isn't invincible; that even though she has her walls, she's still as vulnerable as anyone else. 

❛  It's fine. I could fix it too with my powers.  ❜ A part of her can't help but think he wouldn't come back tomorrow like he said. She thought she'd be with Onii-chan forever, but he still left anyway. Even though Mikleo makes it a point to visit her often, Edna still can't help but feel that, one day, he'll stop coming back too. One day, she'll be all alone again. She doesn't want that. It was hard enough the first time. That's why Yuri will probably not come back after tomorrow. 

Still ... He helped her.

She sniffles again. Edna isn't one to ask for favors, but sometimes she just doesn't know what else to do when things are always out of her reach, and so, she pulls out her request now: ❛  Thanks... If you see any red orchid flowers on your way back, could you bring them here? If this place is going to be cleaned up, then it'd be nice to replace the flowers for him with fresh ones...  ❜    

Technically she was right that other people might think he was strange or completely out of his mind if he was talking with a Seraphim. Even at Ladylake, if he met Edna's friend, he'd be talking to someone others couldn't see. Worse, it'd be in a crowded place with how big the city was. With any luck though, maybe things had changed a bit since some people seemed aware of them? On his way here, he'd heard little overall, but it did seem some folks were aware they were around and simply couldn't be seen by most.

Her nickname had him raising an eyebrow though. "Purple all over? I think I'm more, partially purple, mostly black." His attire was usually black after all - enough that even when Ioder had an outfit given to him for his accomplishments, there was a good bit of black to go with it. Though, perhaps funny enough, Ioder had another of that same outfit custom made for him after he'd gotten engaged to Flynn that was mostly white to match Flynn's uniform.

They were strangers, but... Yuri felt more at ease dealing with her than he'd had when he arrived. She seemed distant generally, but she was opening to him more than he expected or would have himself without someone else doing it first. There were details that hurt that he wasn't ready to talk about, but she deserved to know he did really understand.

"I never knew my biological parents. Mom died when I was born. Dad, I have no fuckin' clue. No idea if he was a fling, left my mom when she got pregnant or sometime after, died... Nobody ever told me. Makes me wonder if it's because they were trying to shield me. Stop me from learning something bad that I'd regret knowing. I can't imagine nobody alive knows who he was." As a kid it made sense if it was something negative that he wouldn't be told. When he was older though? Perfectly ready to hear it?

Honestly, when he was a teenager would've been the best time for someone to tell him. If it had been something horrible, even. If his father had been some awful criminal in the end or something. The best time would've been when he was a teenager. At that time he was so happy and content with everything around him, that he wouldn't have cared. Maybe felt something small just knowing his own flesh and blood was trash, but... once that subsided, he wouldn't feel a thing further about it. He knew what he knew and he was happy back then. Truly too happy and at peace to care about what he didn't know personally, or didn't have.

Knowing as an adult meant he could understand everything better and was grown up enough to be able to hear it, too. Even if he'd consider his mid-teenage years the best time for him to have heard about his father, at this point, there was no reason for him not to know. He genuinely doubted Hanks had no idea about the guy. Hanks and Jiri had told him about his mother, and he truly doubted they were completely in the dark about his father. He did really have to wonder if Hanks was still trying to hide something from him, just to protect him.

"I had foster parents, kinda... Well, our situation was weird because they didn't strictly live with us. Had their own house. The orphans lived in a house together even as just kids, so yeah, we were kids all living under the same roof without adults to watch us pretty often, but... they were there. They were the closest thing we had to parents, and the closest thing we had to family being each other. We lived in a poor area that wasn't even officially part of the city yet back then, so it was really just a gathering of people with nowhere else to go. We didn't really have, say, an actual structure that made it easy to raise a whole cluster of orphaned kids."

Things had gotten way better since then, and had even gotten better by the time Yuri was a teenager. Things were more structured by then for the newer kids. It made it easier for Yuri to ensure those kids got to properly be children where he hadn't been able to.

When they arrived at the grave site, Yuri sighed deeply, but quietly. It hadn't been unexpected, but there was a hole in front of the grave and a couple on either side close to it. As Yuri walked over and peered into them, he noticed they weren't very deep. "Pretty shallow, given how deep someone would expect a human to be buried... I'm guessing they were hoping to find something buried closer to the top that had some sorta value. Either gave up when they didn't find anything, or at least had the basic decency not to dig until they found a body or coffin. He may've been a Seraphim, but these losers wouldn't have known that."

For a few seconds Yuri paused in thought, then moved to the side of the hole next to the grave, and rested himself on his knees as he pushed the dug up dirt back into the hole with his hands. No shovel meant making do for now. "Sorry, I don't have anything on me to do this properly, but... I'll stop by tomorrow or something. Soon as I have time. Just so I can pat this down properly."

As he worked on sliding the dirt back into the hole to fill it and get the spot in the front of the grave as good as it was going to get for now until he could get a shovel and some means to flatten the ground better, he resumed mention of his own family. Usually he didn't get this deep into it with strangers, but... she'd told him more than he deserved to know, and about personal things.

"I felt alone too once, you know." A few seconds passed in silence as he tried to get the right words. "...When I was a teenager, I was really happy. Well, life itself wasn't perfect, but I was the happiest I'd ever been, you know? At one point things got crazy because of these nobles who wanted our land. Tried to force us out - literally, with violence when nothing else worked."

He went silent again for a few seconds. Working on moving the dirt for someone's grave while talking about this was, well, difficult. "...My brother worked for one of those nobles. He was kinda misled, but he was trying his best to do right by the people in our home. Tried to protect us and give us a better life. Got faked out and accidentally poisoned our drinking water. Found out what that noble was really doing to his people and tried to do the right thing by telling us."

Yuri finished with the hole, moving to the one on the other side. "...He... got stabbed. Made it home to me and our foster mom and one other guy I was there with. ...We couldn't save him. He saved us from the poison - our mom had an antidote. Split it between us so me and the other guy had the energy to use the rest of his savings to buy antidotes for the whole town. ...He bled out and died right in front of us. Mom hugged him and cried. I'd never, ever seen her act like that before in my life."

For a second he caught himself dropping the "foster" part, but he didn't bother correcting himself. It was... well, true, wasn't it? It was. He worked on patting the dirt as well as he could to keep it from being a heap of dirt for now, hoping it was enough to respect this brother of hers. "The poison killed a bunch of our people. Even one of the orphans kids, a really young one I was helping raise. A bunch of stuff happened after that. Mom died about a month later... and then someone else I loved moved away. For a while."

With the second hole finished, he switched to the one directly in front of the grave. "Saw him again when we enlisted in the knights in our city, but we were different. The whole thing changed us. We didn't get along as well and it was really confusing and it hurt. The knights weren't for me. Didn't work out. I left. It was the loneliest I'd ever felt in my life. Like my life didn't even make sense anymore. Went from everything, happiest I ever was, to missing a huge part of my regular life, and the most miserable I ever was. ...And it all started with my brother being killed."

When he finished with the dirt in front of the grave, it was by no means perfect, but it looked a lot better. "...I don't really know how Seraphim die or what it's like when they do die. It sounds like he was really close to you though. I think... in that case, he was probably like my brother. You were probably the last thing he was thinking of. Even at the end when it hurt the most... I doubt anything stopped him from thinking of you."

He rose to his feet, realizing his eyes were slightly wet. There were no tears that left his eyes, but he noticed the feeling when he blinked again. Ignoring it as much as he could, he continued. "I can't do much for him like this, so... again, sorry about the crude fix. I'll try to find who did this later and see if I can get a word in to the city's boss guy about what they did here."

[genshinarchives]

Cyno, Dehya, Al-Haitham, Nahida, Nilou, Tighnari / gender-neutral reader.

Synopsis: Of all things, you became a seelie when you got isekai’d into your favourite game, Genshin Impact. You decide to make them fall for whatever charms you have left in hopes of being taken in as a pet to survive.

— ( Inspired by the manhwa Of All Things, I Became A Crow. Requests relating to this AU will be ignored. )

Headcanons: [ 1 ] / [ 2 ] / [ 3 ]

Scenarios: [ 1 ]

#CYNO

Cyno finds you buried in the sand when he went to the desert, having been drawn towards your burial spot by your frantic squeaks. When you got isekicked to Teyvat, you had the worst luck of running into a group of eremites who decided to bully you, but fortunately, Cyno happened to be nearby after you were trapped in your sandy coffin.

He isn't sure what type of creature you are and decides to bring you to the Akademiya once you were dugged out. He's surprised when you wiggle free from his hands and float up to rest on the spot between the ears of his headpiece, but he doesn't say anything since you weren't being difficult. Just as he's about to step inside the Akademiya, he's quickly stopped by Aether who then tells him that you're a rare seelie.

It doesn't take very long for Cyno to warm up to you. He thinks that you're rather cute (but would never say it out loud) and would sometimes poke your squishy body out of curiosity. There was a time when he disturbed your sleep with his incessant poking, which earned him a tiny slap on his index finger.

Seeing the General Mahamatra with a downgraded version of the Traveler's flying companion is certainly a sight in Sumeru City. You'd follow him everywhere, even when he's apprehending a scholar for plagiarism or other academic violations. You act like an extra pair of eyes for Cyno, which he is grateful for; if the scholar tries anything funny, you'd instantly alert him. You eventually became Cyno's unofficial partner, and he'd feel a little lonely if you're not around to listen to his god awful jokes.

Cyno initially didn't know that you don't need to eat and has tried to feed you dried fruits and nuts on occasion, only to get uno reversed every time. Taking the seedless date from his palm, you proceed to push the fruit against his lips to silently tell him to eat it. He hesitantly opens his mouth as you shove it in, and he couldn't stop the minuscule smile from surfacing when you rub against his cheek with an adorable squeak.

Whenever he has a meeting with an official, he lets you fly off on your own, knowing that you'll come searching for him once you've done enough exploration for the day. His only concern is you running into Al-Haitham; he's an Akademiya lunatic and Cyno doesn't trust him at all. He's not sure if you understand him, but he would always remind you to avoid Al-Haitham.

Later on, Cyno orders a mini version of his headpiece for you to wear so that the two of you could match. You don't miss his soft smile as he carefully puts it on you and calls you his seelie Mahamatra.

#DEHYA

Dehya is following Dunyarzad around Sumeru City when you suddenly collide into her face. She thinks that they've been ambushed until she hears the collective laughter of children, and peels you off to see you flailing helplessly in her strong grip as you squeak in desperation.

Her first reaction is to squint at you. What on Teyvat are you? The children that were chasing you begin to crowd around her as Dunyarzad coos at how adorable you are. Dehya then questions the children, and they all answer that you're a seelie they had found floating in the river near the city. Dunyarzad takes pity on you, thinking that you were abandoned, and requests Dehya to look after you. Dehya said no at first but ultimately lost to her persistence.

And that's how Dehya ended up with her very own seelie companion. Even Aether is surprised to see her with you, but you seem to be happy with the way you'd enthusiastically follow Dehya everywhere. It's hard to tell whether or not she likes you, but Dunyarzad knows that you've grown on Dehya; she never misses the way the corners of Dehya's lips would slightly quirk at your attempts to get her attention, the gleam of fondness in her eyes when she watches you fly around in excitement, and the breathless chuckles that leave her lips when you fall asleep on top of her head.

Your sense of danger seems to have heightened after you were reincarnated as a seelie, so whenever you feel that enemies are nearby, you'd alert Dehya by flying around her head and squeaking frantically. She initially didn't know what you were trying to tell her until her eyes caught the glint of a blade in the bushes. Since then, she has learnt to trust you to watch her back (you also provide a good distraction in fights, so that's a plus).

Dehya lets you do whatever you want as long as you don't bring trouble to her; simp for Cyno and Al-Haitham, charm Aether, fight Paimon, play with her golden claws... But she won't allow you to stray from her sight. Although she's shy about admitting it, she does get worried whenever you disappear from her side.

She can get a little jealous when you decide to seek attention from someone else. Are you sleeping on Dunyarzad's lap because she's softer? Are you nuzzling Nilou because she smells nicer? Dehya at one point did sniff herself to make sure that she doesn't smell bad.

Once Dehya has formed a close bond with you, your interactions will start to feel less awkward. She'll return your playfulness in equal and even try to distract you if you're focused on something. She'll squish you between her palms if you annoy her too much, and at one point, she pretended to eat you before introducing you as her "emergency rations" to Aether and Paimon.

#AL-HAITHAM

Al-Haitham is greeted with a rather comical sight when he dropped by the Akademiya to pick something up. It's complete and utter chaos; books and scrolls are being thrown everywhere as the scholars scramble around, trying to get rid of the flying pest that is you. You didn't even mean to startle them, you just wanted some help since you woke up in Sumeru as a seelie one day!

He decides to come back later and as he spins on his heels to leave, something bouncy rams into the back of his head before he feels a tiny grip on his hair. He quickly turns around to see what exactly hit him, only to hear your desperate squeaks. A scholar then yells at him, "Al-Haitham, you bastard! Look after your pet better!" Al-Haitham pays no heed to him however, and silently exits from the Akademiya after tugging you off him.

He doesn't really know what to do with you. He thought that you'd leave him alone and find someone else to bother if he ignores you, but you adamantly follow him everywhere, refusing to leave his side no matter what. You're not annoying like a certain Traveler's flying companion at least, so he feels no need to shoo you away. You're welcome to stay with him as long as you don't cause him unnecessary trouble.

Al-Haitham only begins to take an interest in you after Kaveh tells him that you're really fun to chat with. When Al-Haitham tries talking to you himself, you scribble your responses on a sheet of paper using the pencil that Kaveh had shortened for you, which impresses him. He starts assigning you simple tasks such as delivering coded messages and eventually spying on certain people. You've somewhat become his little assistant, and there wouldn't be a day where Al-Haitham is seen without you.

You tend to attract a lot of attention, especially in Port Ormos, since pet seelies are rare. Whenever he needs to keep a low profile, he stuffs you inside his cloak without warning and silently threatens to squeeze you if you make too much noise, before apologising to you quietly once he's in a secluded area. He would be totally unfazed if you attack him with your seelie punches as revenge.

When you're not needed for anything, Al-Haitham lets you go on your own seelie adventure. While he doesn't mind you hanging around the other scholars, he doesn't like seeing you with Cyno, especially when you're snuggled between the ears of his headpiece or blatantly pressing yourself against his bare chest. He'd pull you away from Cyno by your tail-like part immediately.

At night, Al-Haitham notices that you like to sleep right next to his head on his pillow. He would take this opportunity to pet you, poke you, and even nuzzle you, the things he'd never do to you when you're awake during the day. The sleepy little noises you make in response to his ministrations always elicit a small smile from him. What an endearing creature you are - keep being this cute and he might never want to let you go.

#NAHIDA

"You're a human, aren't you? What happened to you when you came here?" True to her title as the God of Wisdom, Nahida knew who you are the moment she saw your confused self floating just outside the Sanctuary of Surasthana. You wish that you could properly answer her, but you only let out a small whimper in response before squeezing yourself inside her confinement and plopping yourself in her welcoming arms.

She tries to comfort you as best as she could, hoping that her profound yet kind words are able to soothe your frazzled mind. Her touch is gentle as she pets you, and her doe-like eyes gleam with the childlike innocence that instantly puts you at ease.

Nahida could sympathise with your predicament. Suddenly being born in this world with no direction to go off of, the only thing on your mind being survival. She warms up to you immediately due to your special connection and would tell you the tales of old to keep you entertained in her solitary home.

She appreciates your company in the Sanctuary the scholars basically imprisoned her in and would always remind you what a blessing you are to her. She can't physically go outside, so you took it upon yourself to venture out on your own and return with trinkets from the outside world for her. She would accept every single of your presents with a smile, saying what a kind seelie you are.

Nahida likes to hold you. You figured that she must have never had genuine physical contact with anyone but you, and this thought compels you to immediately go to her whenever she calls you over.

Sometimes, she would accompany you outside by taking over Katheryne. She'd explore Sumeru City with you, and play around when the two of you are far away from curious and prying eyes.

Nahida actually knows a way for you to regain your human form - but by telling you, she might not be able to spend time with you like when you're still a seelie. So for now, until she has satiated her selfish desires, she'll keep it a secret from you.

#NILOU

Nilou is charmed the moment she sees you in the audience, cutely bobbing along with the music. She has been told a thing or two about seelies by Aether and is a bit jealous that he has one willing to accompany him on his journey, as she would love to have an adorable companion of her own.

The fact that you've showed up means that you're drawn towards her dance, right? Perhaps if she gives this performance her all, she might be able to convince you to stay with her! She's unaware that your intentions align with hers; you've decided that out of the entire Sumeru cast, Nilou is the most approachable and reliable, making her your best bet at survival.

Nilou is happy that you didn't simply fly away at the end of her performance, and welcomes you with open arms when you approach her. She would try to get you to be friends with Aether's seelie, and even introduces you to Dunyarzad and Dehya.

Nilou adores you; you don't even have to do much to gain her approval. All you need to do is stay by her side and provide her with your moral support as she dances her way through the prejudice she's subjected under for pursuing a career in the creative arts.

Waking up in her arms every morning will become a staple. She thinks that your small and round form makes you the perfect cuddle buddy, and would always go to sleep with you trapped in her embrace. If she wakes up before you (which is often), she'd rouse you from your deep slumber with her affectionate kisses.

She's fine with you spending time with other people, but if you're away for too long, she'll start to get worried and may go looking for you herself like a mother searching for her lost child.

Nilou would later make a small personalised headdress for you with lotus patterns sown on the cloth. A soft giggle slips past her lips as she puts it on you, and when you twirl around to show it off, she claps whilst cheering you on. You're her precious little lotus, and Nilou swears that she'll never give you up to anyone even when her own life is on the line.

#TIGHNARI

Collei is the one who found you being chased by a horde of mutated mushrooms in Avidya Forest, and manages to save you from becoming monster chow. However, she's unable to care for you properly because of her affliction and leaves you in Tighnari's care.

Tighnari immediately recognises you as a seelie because he has seen a different coloured one following Aether around before, and he's quite happy to take you in. Although his expertise lies in botany, he's interested in learning more about your kind, unaware that you're originally a human the isekai god gave the crappiest luck to. He would later put a yellow flower accessory on you - the same one that he wears - so that the other rangers will know not to chase you out if they see you.

On one particular morning, he woke up to find you all nestled up in his fluffy tail. He didn't want to rouse you from your sleep but since he has work to do, he ended up curling his tail around you and got ready as quietly as he could. Tighnari would even let you sit in between his ears if you're tired, and when he's in a playful mood, he'd pretend that you're one of his Vijnana-Phala mines and try to sniff you; though the last time he did that, he got headbutted in the nose.

You'd sometimes come home balancing a basket of nilotpala lotuses on your head which you then gift to him. He would always accept them with a smile and if he's feeling particularly affectionate, he may reciprocate your gesture with a chaste kiss. The way you'd melt into a seelie puddle after receiving a kiss from him never fails to make him laugh.

Tighnari would spend time with you whenever he can. He'd take you out with him on his patrols and tell you all about the flora and fauna of Sumeru, as if he knows that you could understand him. If the two of you happen upon an area that is abundant in Sumeru roses, he'd sit down and weave a small flower crown out of them just for you.

He likes seeing you get along with Collei and the other rangers, and would entrust you to them whenever he has to deal with a Withering zone. He'd give the ranger tasked with taking care of you a complete guide on how to care for seelies before leaving; he has to make sure that you'll be in good hands.

Tighnari would often remind you to not mess around with his Vijnana-Phala mines. The hallucinations they induce might have a great negative effect on you, so safety first! Your curiosity got the better of you however, and you accidentally caused one of his mines to explode on you while he was out surveying an area in the forest. Imagine his surprise when he returned to discover that you had become a seelie puddle on the floor of his room, with a familiar green mist surrounding you. Letting out a muted sigh, he proceeded to sober you up by flicking what he assumed is your forehead multiple times.

Taglist: @coco-goat-milk @m3gitsune @melkxsh @irethepotato @frostines-blog @xxhome-is-where-ria-isxx @crunchy-princeles @mizukisfanpage @nanamisflowerfield @dulcetamore @myevergarden @flowwerpot @sunlightocean @bloopthebat

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ scenario: connor losing his mind when you're hurt and charging into the fight recklessly.

♡ pairing: connor kent ( superboy ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'm sorry but i'm living for these angst to fluff moments rn especially bc i rewatched reign of the superman and forgot how much i loved connor in it.

Connor watched as you were completely slumped on the side of the building, no longer clear headed and struggling to stay awake. what was supposed to be a clean and easy mission turned out to be more than what the league expected.

he had requested for back up and while they were already trying to fight off the thugs that were attacking Connor, he could still see that you were fighting to stay alive and he had no idea if you were even going to come out of this fight alive.

"what the fuck?" Connor whispered, seeing you now slumped on the ground. he turned to the person who attacked you, eyes fully red with no intention of holding back. Clark could sense his song was a second away from committing murder as he saw Connor charge into the heart of the battle with no game plan, just murder.

"SUPERBOY NO!"

+

you waved shyly to the group of league members as you hid behind Wonder Woman. you were new to the scene of sidekicks and had no idea how to even introduce yourself without sounding like a complete idiot.

"woah new girl!" you heard a male voice say as you stood in your place petrified. you had no idea who it was as Diana had yet to individually introduce you to everyone, "i call dibs!" you heard the same voice say.

Diana turned to you before grabbing the boy who was charging towards you by the head and tossed him back to Superman, "she's not up for 'dibs' Superboy. she's my newest apprentice and you will treat her as such," she threatened.

you giggled behind her as a few of the sidekicks introduced themselves. you knew them as the Young Justice team and although you weren't formally with the team, you figured Diana was training you to become apart of them in the future.

"( your hero name ), this is Superboy," Wonder Woman said, "he associated to the Super family," she explained as he pushed up his dark circled glasses and flicked his hair back, "pleasure is all mine," he muttered, shaking your hand.

you returned a tiny smile before she continued to introduce you to Robin and Impulse. you noticed how Superboy kept his eyes on you. you had no idea if it was because he liked you or he disliked you but every time you turned to look at him, he was already staring at you.

after introductions and the cliche 'your real identity is sacred' conversation ended, Diana felt it was for your own good to get used to your new 'teammates'. she wanted you to make sure you weren't uncomfortable around any of the YJ team even if that included Superboy.

"so, what do you like to do for fun?" Wonder Girl asked, sitting down next to you and handing you a bowl of popcorn. you shrugged, "uh, not much. I like to watch tv and read for the most part. no one really invites me to do things with them," you admitted, scratching the back of your head.

she laughed, putting her arm around you, "well that ends today! we should all do something fun! how about we go to the county fair? doesn't that sound fun?" she asked. you shrugged, not really opposed to the idea, "I call all the rides with ( your hero name )!" Jinny replied.

you smiled, following her and Wonder Girl out the door as Robin, Impulse, and Superboy followed behind you. Robin looked at him, "you like her don't you?" he asked, already calculating the minute Connor had fallen in love with you.

"well she's apart of the team, i'd like to hope we'd all like her," he replied as Robin shook his head, "no, you get what i mean by that," Robin pressed as he could see Connor's face fall with realization. he didn't reply but he could tell what he was tell Connor's real answer through his face.

as they arrived to the fair, they all booked it to the first food stand they saw. Robin offering to pay for everyone being Bruce Wayne's son had its benefits. you ordered a simple coffee as you didn't want Robin to spend too much on everyone.

"what ride should we all get on first?" Jinny asked excitedly. you pointed to the tallest ride, it was one of those high rides that sat two people at the top and had them spinning around, "oh I can't do that. it's way too scary," both Keli and Jinny said.

Superboy smiled at you, "I'm down if you are," he said as he grabbed two tickets from the worker, "cool," you replied as the two of you walked to the line, sweat already building up from nervousness.

once they sat the two of you and made sure you were both buckled in, you stared at Superboy nervously as the ride started up and pulled you up before immediately starting to spin. you stared at Superboy, screaming for you life. you unintentionally grabbed his arms, not realizing you were holding onto him as you continued to yell.

Superboy chuckled, finding your reaction cute.

+

after the months passed and you finally grew closer to everyone on the team, you were particularly close with Jinny and Superboy. you and Jinny shared a lot of common interests as she showed you how to shoot a gun and Superboy...well, everyone could tell the two of you were just seconds away from actually dating.

you walked into the YJ lair, sipping on hot chocolates with Jinny as the weather was turning cold. she was cracking some cringe dad jokes, trying to make you laugh as you tried to contain from choking on the hot chocolate.

"hey, where we yall at?" Keli asked. you turned to Jinny before giggling, "just doing a few errands we had to run before I had patrol with Superboy," you said, not really clarifying on what you both were actually doing.

although everyone could see how much you liked Connor, Connor himself thought you had a thing with Jinny. he knew she was particularly close with you and felt as though he was practically competing with her for your attention.

"do you have my phone?" you asked Jinny as she dug into her pocket and handed it to you. you grabbed your phone before quickly snatching her hat and putting it on, "yee-haw," you giggled into the mirror as Jinny started chasing you down the halls.

as you turned a corner, you bumped into Superboy and fell flat on your ass, "oh, I'm sorry Superboy, I didn't see you there," you groaned as Jinny grabbed her had and put it back on her, "you've yee'd your last haw," she said, making you laugh harshly.

Superboy's eye couldn't help but twitch as he gave you his hand, "ready for patrol?" he asked sternly. you looked to Jinny who crept away from the angry Kryptonian and left you to deal with him, "yeah, let me just freshen up again and I'll meet you outside," you murmured, going into the bathroom.

you quickly used the bathroom before checking if you had everything. you opened the door and walked into the lair's common area. Connor had yet to drop the angry attitude and everyone was eerily silent as you walked in. he grabbed you by the arm and practically rushed you out the door.

"weird," Jinny told Robin as he shrugged, "what isn't weird about him," he replied making everyone laugh.

patrol started extremely awkward. you hadn't felt this weird since you first started on the team and you had no idea what was wrong with Superboy since he wasn't telling you.

the two of you walked on top of roof, scanning the empty roads before you turned to look at him, "what's up? you seem bothered," you asked him as you both sat on the ledge, "seriously? you seem annoyed at me or something so at the very least you can try and tell me what's wrong," you pressured again.

he looked at you with eyes of determination before grabbing you by the collar of the shirt and pulling you into a very heated kiss. you were taken back by surprise but let him continue to kiss you. a part of yelled at Connor pulled you close but another part of him was still screaming at him that you still could've liked Jinny.

"I had to do that before Jinny officially took you away from me," your eyes fluttered in confusion, "uh, what do you mean by 'take you away from me'?" you asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

Connor sighed in frustration, "I see the way you're around Jinny and figured that she likes you and vice versa," he finally admitted as he stood up, not wanting to hear your response. you quickly stood up and grabbed him by the wrist, "hey wait," you said.

he stared at you, "I'm really not in the mood to get rejected ( your hero name )," he ran his fingers through his hair annoyed. you shook your head, "I don't like Jinny nor does she like me. we're just really close friends Superboy," you whispered, bringing him into another kiss.

this time, he was the one taken back but he melted into the kiss, all his negative emotions washing away as you continued to kiss him. he wrapped his arms around your waist as you him in closer by the neck. Connor was definitely not expecting this tonight.

"so does this mean that we're like....together together?" you asked playfully shy. Connor let out a laugh before lacing your hands together, "clearly. I can't let Jinny steal you away from me," he jokingly replied.

+

Connor ran to the three different henchmen as his strength was to the point of killing, not caring if he died in the process. he was recklessly dodging bullets, knowing they wouldn't do anything to him. he grabbed the first man and threw him against a wall as it collapsed around him. Connor only hoping that it did enough damage to unalive him.

the second one he managed to choke him out enough to the point where he passed out but that wasn't enough for him. you were on the brink of death and if he had to see you die, he was going to make sure the men who possibly killed you got what they deserved.

"SUPERBOY!" he heard his father scream again. Connor paid no attention to him as he grabbed the third henchman and slammed him to the ground, throwing punches left and right, "listen to me," Clark screamed at him.

he could see the tears coming down Connor's face as anger, fear, and sadness clouded his mind, "this is not you! pull out of it!" he yelled, shaking Connor's shoulder, "you're about to kill this man. I get that you're angry but you don't get anything out of hurting him. all you get it consequences and your girlfriend needs you right now more than ever!" he continued.

Connor finally shook himself out of his trance as he heard his dad telling him to go to you. Connor nodded and ran to you, seeing you unconscious and hardly breathing, "I'm taking her to the hospital," he yelled to Batman before hauling your body into his arms and flying towards the nearest hospital.

once he finally reached the emergency doors, he shoved everyone out of his way and to the front desk, "she needs help...NOW!" he yelled to the poor receptionist. the girl jumped up from fear but nodded and screamed for a bed and a few doctors.

the doctor asked Connor to place you on the bed before the doctor told him that he could follow them inside. a part of Connor wanted to straight up move the doctor to follow you into the OR but he knew that he'd get into more trouble with his dad and the MPD if he hurt anyone else.

for what felt like hours, he was waiting inside of the room they had told him you'd be in once you got out of surgery. he had already gotten the lecture from his dad about the consequences he would've gotten if he actually managed to kill the three men earlier.

"she's going to make it," the doctor told Connor as he walked into the room while they adjusted you to the bed. Connor nodded, "she'll be out of duty for months. she sustained a lot of injuries to her body that'll take weeks to recover and she got a nasty concussion so you'll need to play doctor for the next few weeks to make sure she's okay," he explained.

Connor nodded as the doctor told him that you should be waking up within the next few hours. Connor adjusted himself on the seat and got comfortable as he had no intentions of leaving your side until you were awake and ready to leave the hospital.

you woke up a few hours later, your body killing you from all over as you saw balloons all around the room. you knew you had landed in the hospital but you had no idea how long you were asleep or in a coma even. you turned to see Connor passed out next to you, his body slumped awkwardly.

"Kon, Kon wake up!" you whispered, shaking him softly. Connor jumped up in a fright as he immediately realized you were awake, "how do you feel? are you okay? do you need anything?" he immediately asked as you couldn't help but laugh at his frantic attitude.

"Connor, I'm okay, I promise," you whispered as you brought him in for a kiss, "my body just hurts and i'm still kinda tired," you murmured as Connor nodded. you managed to wiggle yourself enough to make space for him, "babe, it looks like you haven't slept in days."

"I had to make sure you were okay so i haven't exactly slept in a while," he admitted sheepishly. you shook your head, "you're too much sometimes," you giggled as you put your head on his shoulder, "but you love me regardless," he replied.

this was the first time the L word had came up in the relationship, "yeah, I guess I do but now you need to sleep," you said as you closed your eyes and felt Connor pull you closer to him, "I love you too by the way," you whispered, giving him another kiss on his partially exposed chest.

[symphonicsoul]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ The little beast is talking again and he can't begin to describe the way his stomach turns when he hear that voice speak to Ai in such a way. That's her brother but his form is being puppeteered by that demon in the same way it dug it's claws into his soul and commanded him. He wasn't born of the beast. They were not kin but he still thought of that man - that boy no longer - as his own. He had always thought of the Hayakawa as the children of his own that he could no longer have.

But he kept them at a distance. He pushed them away. For their safety he said. For their betterment he convinced himself. If they weren't around someone like him then they wouldn't think about the source of their pain. Chaos wouldn't come them if it wasn't being drawn out by the presence of it's favorite toy.

If he just kept them away from him then they would be safe. They could live a normal happy life and even if they had to do that without him then - then he could make peace with that.

But things never go the way he wants them to.

He left them out of so many important moments in his life. He pushed them away because he thought he was being noble by sacrificing his relationship with them for the better good. So they never saw - they never saw him complete his Path. They never saw him dance his vows with Kain. They never saw him truly ascend the throne. They never saw. All the important events in his life that have happened - they don't know them. They don't know why he wears the crown upon his head so boldly now.

He shoved them away. OUT and as far as he could.

What right does he have to tell them that he loves them now?

The beast is talking and he probably should listen, even if it isn't talking to him. Even if it's talking to the camera again but that means it's probably important. If Chaos loves anything, it loves a show and there is no doubt that if he can manage to swim through the memories to actually listen then perhaps he'll at least hear how he's going to d -

".....but in many cultures, beheading was often used as the punishment for those of noble stature. Since our dear little Cloud here had been trying so hard to be like them, it's only fitting we give him the pleasure of dying like one..."

- He can feel his blood running cold as he thinks about it. As he tries to imagine the feeling of a blade cutting through to take his head from his shoulders. It's not a death he's ever experienced but Chaos didn't possess a blade sharp enough to accomplish -

He's watching as a sword case is being brought in the room and he knows before it's even opened. She's screaming inside him. She's weeping and crying and she's begging not to be made to do this.

"Minun Pilvini." She begs "Älä pakota minua tappamaan Pilviäni."

But no one can hear her expect the one she is weeping to save. She's rattling in the hand of the one who takes her. She is rattling and fighting as she attempts to break free of the grasp of the beast that means to strike him down again.

She is rattling but he is not.

No the lunar king is frozen, ignoring the request to if he had any words at all to be his last, despite the gag firmly forced between his lips. It doesn't matter what he would want to say the words won't make it into the air more than the sounds of just pathetic sobs.

And the tears are rolling now as grey eyes fill up his vision. Jade slides to look away if only for a moment to glance to the screen as love fills up his vision. Eyes that are reserved for one man and one man only. Even if his words are trapped within his throat, his emotions can't be erased from his heart.

This is it.

There's no more running. He's going to die.

Will he resurrect as he always does, or is this finally the end of his undying life? He doesn't have a choice in how this will end, but he does have a choice in how this will play out.

So he stares straight into the camera for a short drawn out moment. He stares into that camera like he's looking deep into grey eyes that are always filled glimmering stars whenever he looks back at him. He doesn't need to speak to say to him what he needs to say. He's wearing the same look he did the day they danced their steps of commitment. There's no way that the northern star won't know how the Moon sings Rakastan Sinua with his every breath.

But there's no way out this.

He can't break himself free. His body feels too heavy. His lungs are panting and he can feel the fatigue weighing him down. Even if he started trashing it would only make it worse. What would Rakkani want? Home. Rakkani would want him to come home and he wants to go home too. He wants nothing more than to be able to return to his arms but that isn't in the cards.

He's been dealt the Death card and he's fought against it so many times. He's always gone against it kicking and screaming but now - now it's different. He's not the man he once was and if he needs to show anything in this moment it's grace.

So he's trying to control the trembling as he moves. Jade is falling closed as he does and he never acknowledges the monster's question as he brings his head back around to lay flat with the post at his back. Slowly, body shaking, he swallows hard as this lunar king only moves to raise his head.

He'll go out proudly. He'll go out with his head held high.

And more importantly, he's positioned himself to give that beast a clear strike at his neck. Even an inexperienced swordsman should be able to complete the task in a single blow with as sharp as the Maken's blade was.

If he knew anything at all, he knew Rakkani wouldn't want him to suffer.

I love you.

As everything is occurring, it finally feels everything falling back into place, where it rightfully belongs. It can see the slowing thrashes, the way that the swordsman has his main weapon of breath at the very least stifled. He's at the end of his rope, it may not even need Ai to do anything to keep the man still. It could certainly use this further as well, if he was to fall out of line at some point. If this was his reaction to a slap, there was so much it could act upon later... She wouldn't have to do anything, it decides, but it makes the point clear with one comment before it returns to the vision of perfection it had been attempting to create for so long.

"You're lucky your little outburst made his easier, or you'd be in much bigger trouble..."

However, the girl can only stay stock still in that moment. She's gotten out of it, somehow... She knew this lenience was only due to the way that the prisoner slowed, and she could only tell there would be some punishment to come later. Even if there wasn't, the anticipation for something to come would kill her all the same. She knows better than to stir the pot now. She should have before. Instead, she turns away, to protect herself more than anything else, no matter how selfish that may seem.

It's her fault, and yet she can't watch. How childish could she be...

However, the beast quick acts as though nothing had happened prior, aside from having to step away due to some technical difficulties. Ah, they wouldn't find it strange. Things could raucous with criminals when push came to shove. So, it smooths out its clothing once again and the feed cuts back. The only thing one might possibly see different is the exhausted pretender, and a haze about the room. Both of them, however, meant nothing now. Its image would be maintained, even if they'd seen the beginning of an escape attempt. It could deal with a bit of insubordination, as long as the populous knew that it could handle it.

"I apologize for the sudden interruption, even with the best of preparations, hiccups can appear. However, it's all settled dear viewers, so worry not. We have an execution to return to, after all!" It's face is much more cheerful than it should be in this moment, especially to be recovering from such a setback.

"Now, I don't know if you all know this, but in many cultures, beheading was often used as the punishment for those of noble stature. Since our dear little Cloud here had been trying so hard to be like them, it's only fitting we give him the pleasure of dying like one," it laughs, as it holds its hand out. It takes some time, but then another subordinate rushes in with a sword case in her hands. But its not just any sword.

There, the Maken lies.

It finds no reason to fear that the man will fight back. Not like this, not when the castle could be locked down at a moment's notice. These walls had held him for twelve years, and it could do so for longer if Chaos played its cards right. So, it takes the blade from its case and into its hands. It can feel the feeble god's surge to try and remove herself from its grasp, but it can only laugh. Such a thing didn't work before, and even if the shape of the hands changed, their master's hand not.

It's grip is firm, and it's ready to strike. Even if the slice was not clean, it worried not. It would do this as many times as was needed... It's over, and a few emotions fill it, mostly those of unadulterated glee.

"Do you have any last words? Oh, but even then..." It laughs at its own joke, as it prepares to swing.

[oingo233]

You Are Beautiful (1)

Summary: Sirius Black was entranced since the moment he saw you. He had to have you but you are convinced his feelings are fleeting, and will only hurt you. People inside and outside of your relationship meddle in the makings of something that could be beautiful... or disastrous. Will love and confidence win? Or will doubt and uncertainty tear you both down?

Young Sirius Black x Pus SizedFemReader

Warning: one inappropriate joke lol, fluff I suppose and nothing else really. All the real stuff comes later :0

Authors note: I mostly write my xreader fics as neutral but as this is a request, I wrote this as fem. But if anyone would like a male version or neutral version let me know and I will copy this but obviously change readers gender (and it's no burden to me I'd love to make more readers feel included and represented). Also reader is plus sized and she is confident and strong throughout the fic -because plus sized characters aren't represented like that in film/books alot (but if looking for amazing and empowering plus sized female characters Nina Zenik from Six of Crows owns my entire heart and changed how I saw myself personally and I would recommend that book for anyone really)- but as any human she has her insecurities because beauty standards are unattainable and have a way excluding so many people and making us feel less than beautiful. As a plus sized/overweight person myself, I understand how we have to fight to feel beautiful and fight this internalized bias we have when we look in the mirror. But WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. WE ARE WORTHY OF MAGAZINGE COVERS AND COMPLIMENTS AND ABOVE ALL SELF LOVE!! The self insert character in this has fought for her confidence, but it will shake and stumble throughout the series and Sirius and friends are there for her to help her realize for herself how beautiful she truly is, once again. So I hope I didn't stray too far from the request :) Enjoy....

Word Count: 1.8

Authors Note: About halfway through I decided to make it a series oops-

****Blabbering Idiot****

Sirius Black is a man of many, many words. In fact, I'm sure if he was writing this he could quickly turn it into one of the most entertaining novels ever written. He'd describe the laughter of his friends for a whole page. Tell a hilarious joke on the next. Then he'd describe the wind blowing through the open halls and courtyard and the spring sun. He could write about a great many things in great detail. (But he wouldn't because he doesn't quite enjoy writing as much as he does anything else, but that's above the point.)

As I said, Sirius Black is a man of many words. So it was such a curious thing when he first saw you. It was an astounding thing really, because for the first time he found something that rendered him completely speechless.

The sun was peeking through the open corridor and pooled onto you, caressing your skin and hair in an ethereal glow. Highlighting curves that brought both sinful and sweet thoughts running through him. It was as if the universe was telling him, look at what we've created, look at this beautiful creature. But he could hardly believe that this world could create something so lovely and kind. You threw your head back in laughter at something your friend said and suddenly the world is back to normal and all he can hear is your laughter and the sound of his friends curiosity at what could have possibly kept him from the conversation about muggle rock compared to Wizard bands. In fact, James was so passionate about it half the hall turned to listen to his rendition of The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

But he didn't care, he took a feeble step towards you and suddenly felt so nervous his hands began to sweat. He stuttered and coughed up his words just for a simple "hello" in your direction only for the wind blowing through the halls to carry it away. And his friends laughed at him as he watched you walk too far from where he wanted you. Because, oh did he want you.

Sirus POV:

"I'm telling you, I won't be able to sleep tonight unless I know who she is," Sirius says for not the first time that evening. James started to laugh.

"Why? Because you'll be too busy thinking of her?" James said, laughing as he made a very suggestive hand motion. Peter cackled and Remus rolled his eyes, trying to find the cleaner side of his humor but instead he couldn't help but snort. Sirius pushed James's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure Lily would love to know how familiar with that feeling you are," Sirius says and James stopped laughing immediately, his eyes narrowed.

"Please, you wouldn't dare. And I will deny all accusations, you'll be made out to be a liar. Then the mystery girl will never love you. Is that what you want, Pads?" James joked with a single arch of his brow. Sirius just rolled his eyes. He was only half paying attention, he has been scouring the hallways since he first saw that girl. He wanted to speak to her again, or maybe just stare for a bit. If things went well, he'd be able to do both those things on a date. But he hasn't seen her since that morning and his heart felt oddly shallow. He wanted those butterflies he had when looking at her to come back and overwhelm him again.

"What'll it matter if I don't even know who she is? Or- or if I can't talk to her? No one falls in love with a blabbering idiot," Sirius says. Remus shrugs.

"Lily fell in love with James," he says, Peter laughed again.

"Yeah, regardless of what he does at night," Peter added and now both James and Sirius were rolling their eyes. James and Lily just recently stopped denying their feelings for one another and gave into the sexual tension and mutual pining. Their relationship was still fairly new but they act as if they've been together for years. Sirius supposed that in a way, they have been.

Sirius would watch them giggling, hand and hand in the hall. He'd see them cuddling in the common room, or coming back after dates with rosy cheeks and beaming smiles. Sirius would never admit it out loud, but his heart cried out when he saw them like that. He rarely ever felt lonely. He could have any girl or boy he wanted if he really tried, but for what? One fun night? Only for one more morning where he wakes up alone? He wanted more than that whenever he saw Lily and James, their happiness was palpable. Their love was suffocating.

Sirius always thought he'd find the one after Hogwarts, if at all. But when he saw her... well that changed everything. In a flash he saw himself with her, their hands intertwined and her head thrown back in laughter. Rosy cheeks and bruised lips. Warm beds and making love... being in love. He nearly felt silly after and yet, he knew that even if he did sleep tonight, it would be her he'd dream of.

"Ello' guys!" Lily said, bouncing up to James who kissed her cheek. They walked with their arms looped and Sirius glared at the easy sign of affection. He thought of his parents, how they would be stiff with one another except for in quiet moments, when he'd pass through a hall and glance into their room. He'd spot a quick kiss on the cheek, and soft squeeze of the hand. It were those odd moments for him, that struck him so strongly with a sharp bitterness. They don't deserve softness and love, he'd think, how can such cruel creatures even feel such things? But even then, he'd walk away seeing them as still awful creatures born from the depths of hell, but more human.

"That's her," Sirius whispered so quietly Remus almost didn't hear it. In fact, Sirius didn’t think Remus heard it at all, but it was rather his look of longing towards the Great Hall entrance that gave him away. Because standing right there, was you.

Your hair was a little wind blown, messy around your face, bits of iit shaped your round cheeks and soft eyes. Sirius eyed you up and down and cursed clothes and cursed shyness and cursed his own head for thinking he could even talk to you. But most of all, he cursed a group of boys who walked past you.

Sirius was a confident boy, he knew how to spot someone who held their head up just as high as he did, and you were very much one of those people. You were giggling as you stole a biscuit from a friend and popped it into your mouth, you covered your mouth as you laughed when they complained with a little smile of their own.

"It's just so yummy, and I haven't eaten since breakfast." He heard you say, your friend just shook his head and handed you a plate as you sat down next to him. But right before you could get comfortable a sneering group of boys stole a piece of food from your hand and said something rather rude.

Sirius didn't even realize he had been walking towards you, this girl he has never even spoken too, yet thought of so endearingly, until he was standing right before the boys and had the pack leaders wrist firmly in his grip.

"Drop it boy, c'mon, drop it," he teased. It was humiliating for the boy and he knew it by the laughing and sneering others directed towards the group of boys, but Sirius did not care. The boy dropped the biscuit and looked as if his tail was tucked into his legs. "Good boy," he said, ruffling his hair until it was a knotted mess, the boy winced at just how hard Sirius dug his knuckles into his scalp, Sirius relented with a satisfied smirk.

Sirius’s voice took on a much harsher tone, "Now scram." The boys were out of their seats and in new ones within seconds.

Sirius felt his mood shift completely once they left, because now all eyes were on him, yours included. He looked up at you rather shyly, his hair falling in strands over his forehead. He tucked it behind his ear and found some confidence in the way your eyes followed the movement and how you blushed. He gave you his best smile, hoping his charm wasn't as weak as his legs felt at that moment.

"Hello, I'm Sirius... Sirius Black." Then, like an idiot he put his hand out for you to shake, what charmer just shakes the ladies hand? He stopped belittling himself the moment you softly placed your hand in his.

"It's nice to meet you, Sirius, and thanks for helping me. I know how to handle those filthy 'dogs'" you said, smiling as you remembered the way he spoke to them, he chuckled. "But I suppose it's nice not always having to," you finished with a bright smile on your face. He felt his own cheeks heat up and he nodded but could not think of anything better to say.

"Name," he said, you raised your brows. He cleared his throat, "your name?"

"Oh, how rude of me," you said and then you laughed, that same laugh that caught his attention and has yet to let go. "I'm (y/n) (y/l/n)."

"Nice to meet you," he said, it was as if he couldn't feel the appalled stares of your friends because all he could see was the blush on your cheeks and your head thrown back in laughter. He swallowed thickly before making his way back to his friends. They all wore raised brows and smirks, and he knew they were about to bite into him.

"Treating them like dogs, really? A bit ironic don't you think," Lily said, James shrugged

"That's why it was so good," he said, high fiving Sirius.

"But it admittedly went downhill from there," Peter was sure to add, just like Sirius knew one of them would. Sirius just laughed, too elated to finally know who you were.

"Don't start," he said, but it was too late.

All in union they sputtered out the lame word that will plague Sirius' memory of that moment forever, "Name?"

They cackled at him and ruffled his hair all the way to their seats, but Sirius knew they were pleased for him. And Sirius didn't mind, he could feel the pretty eyes of a pretty girl following him across the room. If only someone told him how important she would become to him, maybe he would have looked back at her and never looked away.

Taglist <3

@enchantedblackrose

[nekomasmanager]

Tanaka Ryūnosuke × Reader

I'm extremely late to posting this even though I had it all written out beforehand. But oh well（￣︶￣）↗

Here is one of my personal favorites, cause I absolutely adore Tanaka, he resonated with me, ever since his first appearance.

You can find the ao3 post about this fic here: ao3 post

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Pairing: Tanaka Ryūnosuke & Reader Word Count: 3137 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Original Post Date on ao3: 03/03/2021

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You always knew Tanaka-San had a crush on Kiyoko. You already knew that. But you couldn't not fall for his charm, his sense of humor, and his skills on the court. You were also sure that he doesn't even know who you are.

You were just a member of the girls volleyball team. Sure you may have your special moments when you spike a ball the right way to score a point, but other than that, you're just a regular volleyball player. So when Tanaka came to you for advice, you were legitimately surprised.

At first you didn't answer him right away, thinking it was a prank, and looking for your teammates because they discovered your crush on the fellow spiker. But when you couldn't find any of them, you gladly accepted to help him. And well, you wished you asked him what kind of advice he needed. Because you weren't prepared for the devastating feeling you got when he told you he needed help asking Kiyoko out.

Not letting your unrequited feelings get in the way, you managed a weak smile and nodded, saying you'll help him however you can. "Sweet! Thanks Y/N!" "You're wel... wait you know my name?" "Well yeah of course I do! I would never forget the name of the girl whose spikes are out of this world!" He moves closer. "And well I couldn't forget the girl who always sneaks around to check out the boys volleyball practice." With that last statement, you blush profusely, mutter a quick flustered good bye and run away, listening to Tanaka's laughs behind you.

You couldn't believe it. He noticed you sneaking by the gym to see their practice. He even saw how you spike. Damn now you're going to be self-conscious whenever you're going for a spike in practice or in a match. "But how did he know I come to watch him and his team practice? I always try to stay hidden and not bother them, so how?" you mutter to yourself, not looking where you're going, and you just bump into someone. You quickly excuse yourself, but you're still thinking and don't notice who you bumped into, so you just continue on your way.

"Y/N?" You look up quickly and look around, searching for the source of the voice. There's only Nishinoya, and of course it's not him who called you, right? How would he know your name? But as you keep looking around, you heard him snicker, and you blush. "Y/N are you okay?" "Wait. You're talking to me?" "Well yes. There's no one else around, as I'm sure you noticed while looking around." "But how do you know my name?" "All of our team knows who you are, dummy! You're famous amongst us!" Horror struck your face, and you start panicking. What did he mean you're famous? Famous how? Did you make a fool out of myself in front of them and didn't notice? What are you going to do?

"Y/N calm down. It's nothing like that! Don't worry! It's my fault I should've been clearer. You're famous because we all know you watch us practice and watch us play our matches. And well whenever you're around Tanaka-San is always on top of his game! So thank you for that!" he said with a big smile on his face.

You could only look at him in shock. Were you that obvious with your sneaking around? You always try to make it to their matches to cheer them on, and you always go to watch them practice because they were just so cool to watch. Whenever you practiced with your team, you tried to incorporate what you saw with what you already know, but it would always turn into a hot mess and ruins everything. But you still tried to make them work.

But now that the entire boys team knows you're watching them, how can you face them? How can you face Ryūnosuke and help him get the girl he likes? And what did Nishinoya mean by Tanaka always playing better when they know you're watching? You had way too many questions on your mind and you had to blow off some steam. "I.. um.. I have to go now, I gotta practice or something. Bye Nishinoya-San!" He chuckles, amused by your flustered self, "Bye Y/N! See you at next practice!" You couldn't even answer, you just turned red and ran away, almost falling because of your own feet. Hitting yourself mentally, you get away even faster.

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You make way towards the school's gym, making sure no one is around, and you just start practicing. As you shoot your serves, you're thinking "What would Kiyoko-San enjoy as a gesture or present? What would be cool enough and not cringey at the same time? Why am I even helping him, I don't know Kiyoko that much! Sure I greet her in the hallways, and help her with minute tasks but that's it. Ugh I dug this hole myself, might as well make the most of it."

You try to focus again on your serves, but there's one thought that keeps gnawing in your mind, what did Nishinoya mean by Tanaka being on top of his game when you were watching? Shrugging off the questions from your mind, you went to pick up another ball from the pit, and that's when you realise you were not alone in the gym.

Before checking who the mysterious person was by the ball pit, you let out a high scream, scared for you life. "Quit your screaming Y/N!! It's me Tanaka. What are you even doing here all alone? I was looking for you everywhere!" "Tanaka-San? How did you know where to find me? And why were you looking for me?"

"Well I saw you talking to Nishinoya while looking for you, and as I was about to come greet you, you got all flustered and left him, almost stumbling to the ground." You hit yourself mentally, damn you made a fool out of yourself in front your crush, this day cannot get any worse. "I went up to Nishinoya to ask him where you went, and he told me you came here to practice. But before coming here I had to pick up something to show it to you. So close your eyes please." Sceptical about all this, you still closed your eyes, trying to calm down your excitement, Tanaka wanted to show you something!! You felt something a bit heavy being placed in your extended hands, and hear Tanaka telling you to open you eyes.

Looking down, you're faced with a box of chocolates and tiny teddy bear to match. You look up to the boy in front of you, questioning him with your eyes, trying to hide your blush. "This is a gift I picked out for Kiyoko-San. I wanted to see if she'll like it or not. So I thought showing it to you first and getting your opinion would be better, before I do something stupid."

"Oh." "You don't like it?" asking you with a hurt look in his eyes, mixed with something you couldn't quite place your finger on. "No no nothing like that. I think it's actually really sweet that you got this for Kiyoko. I'm sure she'll really love it. I was just surprised that's all! Don't worry!" He sighs, relief washing over him. "I also think that this gift paired with what I had in mind for a confession would be perfect. Since Kiyoko stays until the end of practice, you could ask her to wait up for you when you're done. You get her the gift. You look sweetly into her eyes, and say 'I really like you, and it's been a while since I do. I guess you might have noticed before, but now I wanted to say it more seriously. So please accept my gift. I would also be really happy if you returned my feelings.' And I guess that's about it, you should be ready for a confe-"

You stop in the middle of your sentence, because Ryūnosuke was standing really close to you, seriousness radiating from him. He gently raises his hand, and wipes under your eyes. You did not notice you were crying. Embarrassed, you give him back his gift, and worked quickly at wiping those tears away. "Ah I must have felt emotional and happy for you. I'm glad I gave you my idea, even if you don't use it in the end, I was happy to help. Do tell me what happens after that confession. I'll wait up after your practice to know all the details! I have to go now. See you soon!"

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You spilled all those words out, wanting to get away from him, in fear that your tears will flow down even faster. You left him without letting him speak. You just had to get away. Your cheek still tingles where he touched you to get rid of that singular tear. His hand felt so warm and you just wanted to snuggle, close your eyes and enjoy that closeness. But no you couldn't do that, he'll soon be someone else's boyfriend, and you just couldn't do that. You were running, as fast as you can. Your vision was blurry. You were crying again. You had to stop.

Seeing a nearby school building where no one actually comes here, you lean up on one of its walls, and just break down. Sliding down, you sit on the grass, and start sobbing. You hear the bell ringing calling student back to their classroom, but you couldn't care less. Your heart was aching and breaking, because you loved someone who doesn't love you back. Your body was shaking. You wanted to hit yourself for falling for someone you knew could never be yours. After a few minutes of crying your eyes out, you slowly calm yourself, still sniffling with the occasional hiccup.

You look up to the bright blue sky , and decided to tread back to your classroom, not caring if you were late. After a quick bathroom break to wash your face, you walk slowly back to your shared classroom with your crush and his teammate. Keeping your head down, you open the classroom door, and you can feel the stares on you. Apologizing for being late, the teacher lets you in with a warning and you promise to not be late again. You go to sit down at your designated window seat, and start staring at the field and nature outside, filtering out the words your teacher was saying. While staring outside, you failed to notice one particular boy who keeps on glancing at you, worried about you, with his heart aching and thumping loudly in his ears because of you.

Classes are finally over, but you stayed seated, wanting to copy down the notes you missed. You saw a shadow blocking your light, so you look up and see Nishinoya next to you. "Oh! Hi Noya. What brings you here? You need something? Don't you have practice?" "I just wanted to make sure you were okay Y/N. You never come late to your classes. And when Tanaka told me what happened, I was even more worried than him. Well no that's not true, he was scared shitless about where you were and why you were late. And when you came in late, with puffy and a downcast expression on your face, I knew you were crying. Want to tell me why?" You never knew Nishinoya was this observant. Feeling shy, you grab one strand of your hair while trying to explain yourself. "I just fell down while running back to class, and I hurt myself, so I cried like an idiot, and took some time to wash off the dirt in the bathroom. You don't have to worry about me!" Mustering a sad smile, you can see that he wasn't convinced by your fake story, but decided not to pressure you into telling him. "Well I'm glad you're better. But now come on! We have to go to practice!" You knew you couldn't argue with him, so you just quickly picked up your things and followed him out towards the gym.

Getting to the gym, you stop by the bench under the window and seat yourself, while Noya changes his shoes and enters the gym. As you're sitting down, trying to be comfortable, the libero player comes back out and starts looking from left to right, and when he sees you, he comes up to you. "What are you doing still out there? Come on in!" "But but I always stay out here so I don't distract you and I also study a bit!" "None of that! Come on. The whole team wants to finally meet you properly!"

You take your bag, change your shoes, and come in, shyly standing behind Noya. As you enter, all eyes turn to you, and you can feel yourself blushing like crazy. "Nice to meet you all, I'm Y/N. Sorry for the intrusion during your volleyball practice." "No intrusion at all. We were waiting for you to join us!" You turn and see that it was Coach Ukai that just spoke to you. Beaming to finally be able to speak to the famous coach of the boys volleyball team, you couldn't contain your excitement, and gave him a big hug, and realise way too late that everyone was looking at you.

With firetruck-red cheeks, you let go of the coach and scratch your neck, looking sheepish. When the initial shock wears off, you hear the coach's laugh and you feel him patting you on the head. "I like you already. You recognize talent when you see it." Smiling, you nod at his words. You go sit down on one chair and take out your books to study a bit. But you see yourself glancing every once and a while towards a certain player wanting to see him practice. Whenever he spikes a ball really well, your heart swells, but that quickly dies down when you see him looking at Kiyoko to view her reaction.

With an aching heart, you go back to your solving of mathematical equations. The end of practice soon comes around. You gather your supplies while saying good bye to the other players, having enjoyed watching them practice. Nishinoya comes up to you, and you both exit the gym quickly, cause you knew what's going to happen soon. You take your time putting on your shoes, telling Noya to leave before you so he won't be late.

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Being alone, you wait up, sitting down on a bench. To your surprise Kiyoko exits the gym soon after you and wears her shoes, preparing to go home. You go up to her and ask: "Wait. Where are you going? Where's Tanaka-San?" "Oh. He's inside, he told me to call you in when I got out." Confused, you wave her good bye and enter the gym again. It was all empty, except for the boy you liked standing in the middle of the court.

"Tanaka? What are you doing? And why didn't say anything to Kiyoko? She was right there! Did she reject you before you got the chance to give her your gift?" You're met with silence. You come closer to him, touching his shoulder gently. He turns around, and just engulfs you in a hug. Shocked, you slowly hug him back. You felt him relax when you wrapped your arms around him. "What's wrong? Did Kiyoko let you down? Tell me." You couldn't stand him not talking to you. You stop your questions when you hear him mumbling.

"What is it? I can't hear you properly." "It was never about Kiyoko-San. Sure she's pretty and cute, but she's nowhere close to you. When you didn't come to class, I was freaking out. Asking myself if it was my fault you came in late. And when I saw your puffy eyes and sad expression, my heart broke. I never want to see you like that. I know now what I asked of you was really unfair, but I wanted to know the best way for me to confess my feelings to you, but I ended up hurting you and making you cry. I'm such an idiot to make you go through all that. Please forgive me, I couldn't forgive myself for causing you so much pain. I like you so much. I can even say that I fell in love with you. I love you."

You were at a loss for words. While Ryū was squeezing you in his arms, the same words kept repeating in your head.

It was never about Kiyoko-San. I love you. It was never about Kiyoko-San. I love you. It was never about Kiyoko-San. I love you. It was never about Kiyoko-San. I love you.

You slowly get out of the hug, looking up at Ryū's face. Hopeful look in your eyes. "Do you really love me?" "Yes. I love you so much Y/N. Ever since I noticed you coming to watch us practice, I found myself seeking you out, whether in class, or for your help in a fake matter, that I regret doing so much. I started loving everything about you." Blushing like crazy, you buried your head in his chest. Slightly laughing, he wraps his arms around you in a loose hug.

You muster up your courage, stand on your tiptoes, and whisper in his ear. "I love you too, Ryū." Not being able to contain his excitement, he picks you up and twirls you around, laughing and being so happy that you love him back. When he puts you down, you grab his cheeks gently and bring him down to face you. You kiss him sweetly, humming when he kisses you back, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"So.." Tanaka asks still encircling you with his arms. "Does that mean we're officially a couple?" Lightly hitting him in the arm, "Of course we are you dummy." "Yes! Everyone will definitely be jealous of this hot couple. They can only dream of being like us." Laughing together at his adorableness, you stay in each other's arms, content with everything in your lives, and that you finally found each other.

Nishinoya was definitely there during the whole exchange, knowing from the beginning how you both felt about each other. He's the best third-wheel you'll ever encounter. He'll definitely brag about you two and how he helped bringing you both together, even though he didn't really do that much to help. But you still love him both, he's definitely a great friend. You'll never tell him that, but you also tell people that it was him that brought you both together.

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Yay! My fanfic about Tanaka is finally up! I hope you enjoy reading it!

The next one is the longest I've written until now and it's with Tsukishima Kei!

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❞ ─ 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐦

after all this time, i start asking why i'm staying

were you ever mine?

are we something that's worth saving?

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; cursing, themes of cheating

❥ synopsis ; you're will's s/o. when he comes home from work, you can tell he's off. what you didn't expect was him to kick you out.

❥ a/n ; none!

"Will?"

You call out after hearing the front door to your house open and shut. When you don't get a response, you get up from your laying position on the couch and approach the front door.

There, Will stood. His back was turned to you as he hung up his coat, and although you could not see his face, you could immediately tell he was off. Even the energy around him felt dark and tense.

"Oh, hey, hun.." You said anxiously, trying not to set him off in any way.

Will didn't react to your voice. Instead, he backed away from the clothing rack and walked past you, not even bothering to spare you a look. This wasn't the first time Will acted out like this, especially considering he was exhausted all the time from the work Crawford gave him. But he would at least greet you soon as he walked through the door, not flat out treat you as if you didn't exist.

"Will," you sighed dejectedly, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. You quietly followed him upstairs to the master bedroom, where he began to strip off his work clothes, changing into something more comfortable. Still, he ignored your presence. You had to make another move.

You slowly approached him from behind, placing your hands on his shoulders. You were immediately taken back when he forcefully removed himself from your touch and walked away to another corner of the room.

"Will, I just-"

"What?" he scoffed mockingly, "You just want to help?"

"You're my boyfriend, Will, of course I want to!"

He laughed.

"It certainly doesn't help when you breathe down my neck every fucking minute."

Tears pricked in your eyes, Will's vicious tone scaring you. You searched Will's own eyes, trying to find any trace of remorse or regret. He had none. You didn't even know who you were looking at.

"What are you talking about, Will? When you want space, I give you space. When you want love, I give you love! What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to leave."

And then it was quiet for a moment. You both stood there silently, feet away from each other, eyes burning holes into the others.

"..What?" You stared in disbelief. "Wh- What are you saying right now, Will?"

"I want you to leave. I want you gone, Y/N. I don't need you anymore."

"No," you bit your quivering lips, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Will averted his stare from your crying form, the floor suddenly becoming more interesting.

"No, you're lying. You're just saying that. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Lies. "It's best if you just leave."

You choked on a sob. "What?! Where is this coming from all of a sudden? We were okay just the other day!"

Will remained silent, still not daring to make eye contact with you.

"Is there someone else?"

"I- No, Y/N. I don't owe you an explanation."

"So this is it, then? You're just gonna kick me out?"

"Please, Y/N. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"This is hard for you?! You're not the one getting kicked out!"

Will sighed, somehow managing to remain calm while you screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." And the conversation ended there.

You began to pack your bags. You also phoned a friend, asking them if you could crash for a bit until you had a stable job and a home. You were not about to sleep on the sofa tonight.

You opened and slammed drawers, taking your anger out on furniture as you took your belongings with you. You also did it to spite Will, who attempted to get some sleep. But he did not complain. He continued to act as if you didn't exist.

It made you wonder. Where did it all go wrong? How long has he thought about leaving you? Was there another person?

Will wouldn't answer your questions. At this point, you didn't wanna know.

You were able to finish packing up within an hour. Will was still wide awake during that time, listening closely to the angry banging of furniture, quiet sniffles and shaky inhales as you tried the best you could to keep your composure.

You loaded all your bags into your car, getting ready to head to your friend's place. You went back inside to get a couple more things and look around the house a final time. You stopped by the front door as you were about to leave, your eyes landing on a picture on the windowsill of you and Will. Your already tired, red eyes welled with tears again. You opened up the frame, sliding the picture out and folding it into your pocket. Not like Will would want it in his house anyway.

And so you left.

You didn't say your goodbyes. You just left.

A week had gone by. Will carried on with his job as usual, attended his therapy sessions, but he never once mentioned you. Not a lot of people knew about you and Will's relationship, or what was once a relationship. Since his coworkers already knew so much, or what Will deemed to be enough information about him, he wanted to keep your relationship secret. Not that you minded.

The only person who knew of your relationship was Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford, but even when it ended, he didn't tell them anything. He didn't tell them how guilty he felt the night he kicked you out. He didn't tell them he still had nightmares about you being harmed. He didn't tell them how he was the one harming you in his nightmares. He didn't tell them how empty he felt when you blocked his number and social medias (ok sorry but like little headcanon here?? will has an instagram and it's just pictures of him fishing / or of his dogs fnsmdnskdjsk).

He never told them how he tried not to stay in his house as often, because it reminded him of you.

He was definitely acting strange at work. It was easy to tell. Even Bev pulled him aside to inquire about his health. But he continued to keep his mouth shut, until he couldn't.

Will rushed to the front door when he heard little taps on the metal screen. Secretly, he hoped it would be you. But when he opened it, there stood Alana Bloom. Will always thought Alana was beautiful. But how could anyone disagree?

Her long, dark waves that framed her perfect, slim face were never unchecked and unkempt. Makeup or none, preppy work uniforms or pajamas, she always seemed to look her best.

You even found yourself feeling small and insecure when Will invited her over for you to meet. But he assured you that she could never even compare to you. You believed it.

Alana's thin lips curled up into a soft smile. "Will. Can I come in?"

"Y-Yeah, sure." He let her in and she walked through the front door for the first time in forever.

"Jeez," she chuckled. "How long as it been?"

"Maybe too long," Will simply replied.

Alana walked around the house, scanning every detail while Will patiently trailed behind her. The dogs were playing outside, so it was just the two of them.

"Why did you decide to come over today?"

"I've been worried about you." She turned around to face Will, who stopped a few feet in front of her. "But now that I'm here in your house, I can see why you've been acting off."

"What's your diagnosis, Doctor?" Will joked, an attempt at lightening the tense air.

"Y/N. They left, haven't they?"

There it is.

Technically, Alana wasn't wrong. You did leave, but Will never clarified in what circumstance.

Will looked at the ground.

"Yeah.. Took all the photos too."

"Hey," Alana began, her finger resting under Will's chin, prompting him to look up at her. "You don't have to hide from me."

A week had gone by. A long, lonely, miserable week. You crashed at your friend's for two nights before your parents invited you to live with them while you worked on getting back on your feet. They didn't live too far, so you thanked your friend for their hospitality and moved in with your parents.

As you finished unpacking your stuff, you realized you were missing some things. You cursed at the realization you would probably have to pick up some stuff from Will's.

You still had the key, so you would have no problem getting in, unless he had the lock changed of course. You were only worried about running into him.

What the hell?

You got dressed. You didn't wear anything fancy, but in case you ran into Will, you felt obligated to look presentable and show him that you could still make it without him. You decided on doing a bit of makeup. Again, nothing fancy. Just enough to conceal the dark circles under your eyes and make your features pop.

And then you headed on the dreadful drive to Will's place.

When you got there, you were too nervous and too focused on making the trip quick to even notice Alana's car in his driveway.

However, what did catch your attention, were the many dogs Will owned. They ran up to you as soon as they recognized you. They panted as they jumped and wagged their tails, expressing their happiness the most they could. You tried your best to pet them all, your mouth lifting up into a smile. You didn't realize it but you really missed the dogs.

You dug around for the key in your pocket and pulled it out, quietly unlocking the front door and letting yourself in.

"You don't have the hide from me.."

Your eyebrows furrowed together at the sound of a female voice.

When you walked into the living room, you were horrified to see Will with another woman. Alana.

Their lips were locked, engaging in a passionate kiss, not even noticing your presence. You felt sick as you put the pieces together.

"Now I know why you kicked me out," you whispered, half to yourself and half to Will, who almost about pushed Alana off him at the sound of your voice.

Both their cheeks heated up in embarrassment when their eyes fell on you.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Look, I only came to pick up some stuff. Then I'll be out of your way." You didn't once look away from Will, deciding to totally disregard Alana's presence and apologetic mutters.

With that, you rushed out of the living room and into your bedroom, searching under the bed and in the closet for your missing items.

You heard faint talking from the living room but tuned out most of it, deciding it wasn't worth your time or even your business in the first place. Then you heard the front door shut and a car start from outside.

Before you could process what might've happened, you heard Will's footsteps stop outside the bedroom.

"Y/N, we should talk."

"No, we shouldn't."

"You blocked my number."

"What good would it do if I kept it?"

"Please, hear me out."

Disgruntled, you turned to face Will, sending a cold glare his way.

"Look, unless you found a way to make a time machine and give me back the time I wasted on you, I don't want to speak with you."

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" he snapped.

You scoffed, "Well surprise, douchebag, I have feelings and you hurt them!"

"Well, I'm sorry, alright?" he calmed down now.

"Are you? Really?" You shook your head. "A sorry won't fix this, Will. Not after what you did. Gods- I can't even look at you right now."

You laughed. "You know what fucking sucks? After all you did, after the cheating and the lies, I'm still in love with you."

Will teared up. "I was never with Alana, Y/N. It's always been you."

"Then, why, Will? Why did you throw me out so coldly like that?"

"I began to have dreams, Y/N. Nightmares," Will admitted, his voice beginning to break. "Nightmares about people hurting you. Criminals. It was too real. As much as I loved- As much as I love you, I never wanted you to choose me. I don't want people using you as a weapon against me. To hurt me."

You slowly walked towards Will, stopping a foot away from him. You looked up into his glossy bambi eyes as he spoke.

"It was when the nightmares got worse, when I was the one hurting you, that I realized you weren't safe with me."

You cried. "Oh, Will. I wish you had told me."

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to remember me that way."

You laughed. "Well, I ended up remembering you as the asshole who kicked me out, instead."

Will managed to give you a smile through his tears.

He brought his hand to your shoulder, and gently lead it up your neck to the side of your face, cupping it lightly and brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"I would never hurt you, Y/N."

"I know. I know, Will. You aren't a monster for having nightmares you can't control." You brought your own hand up and placed it against Will's, leaning into his warm touch. "I'm still here. I'm alive. In your hands. And I feel safe with you."

Almost hesitantly, Will leaned in, connecting his lips to yours. His body felt tense, but when you kissed him back, you felt his worries disappear into the air.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Stay with me tonight?"