#but since coming back he’s gone back to being this very assertive person he used to be before mclaren

[rickybaby]

In your opinion it will be a “good storm” for us? I’m a little bit anxious about this whole situation. I just want him to be on the grid next year :(

Whether erroneously so or not, I’m actually feeling positive about it all. I’m more nervously excited than just plainly nervous.

I know it’s hard to tell what’s going on with Daniel given how that media mask can be firmly in place when he wants it to be, but there’s something so confident about him since the summer break. And just the sequences of events from him not being seen at the wedding to everything in between - no one can convince me that something’s happening behind the scenes and it’s something big …

[ahsxual]

Hello lovely!! I have read all of your stories to do with Matthew Lillard and OMFG I love them sooooo I thought to request one myself. :D

I was thinking a Stu Macher x Fem!Reader who is Billy younger or twin sister (idk it’s up to you on that darling) who he is very positive of and has told Stu not to ever think about getting with her, one day Stu goes over there to hang out with Billy but had gone out with Sydney so Y/N answered the door and just tells him come in and they can watch a movie as they waited for Bill to come home, one thing leads to another and they end up in Y/N’s bedroom…..

Thank you for reading this request and I hope you are having a great Day/Night!

Don't Tell My Brother About Us

Warnings: +18 content, Cocky Stu, dirty talk, fingering, cunnilingus

Word Count: 2,7k

A/N: Tysm for requesting this, dear anon! I loved your idea and I really hope you like this❣️I also appreciate the fact that you like my writing 🥺🤗 I'm actually proud of this fic, I'm just gonna say that ;)

You knew Stu Macher from high school, since he was your twin brother's bestfriend. You even tried to join his friend group after a while since they all seemed so nice and fun, yet your attempts were declined by your sibling, for much to your chagrin, because Stu was constantly bothering your brother by making flirty jokes whenever you were with them, according to Billy. Even though you didn't like the fact that your brother wanted to keep you away from Stu, you couldn't help but feel delighted to acknowledge the real reason behind it.

Stu became your crush from the moment you met him, as his energetic, extroverted and cocky personality traits never ceased to charm you. He was incredibly fun to be with and as you hated feeling bored, you thought that would be impossible if you ever stayed with Stu. Those thoughts were obviously put aside the moment Billy noticed how you and Stu looked at each other. Billy had never seen you as amused and happy with a guy as you were with Stu, your eyes so bright that he was convinced the words sadness and boredom were no longer known to you. However, that wasn't enough to convince Billy that Stu was good for you, and that was the reason you drifted away from him: although he made your days brighter and vice-versa, Billy didn't lose his overprotective sibling attitude, always keeping an eye on his "sweet and innocent" sister.

.............................................................................................................................

"I'm going out with Sidney." Billy told you, while you were reading a romance book on the sofa about a serial killer who fell in love with one of his victims. When your brother said he was going out on a date with his girlfriend, you simply looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if you didn't believe there were any genuine romantic intentions in what he had just said. "What?" he sounded annoyed by your judgmental gaze.

"Hm I don't know, you don't seem very excited about it. It looks like you don't even have true feelings for the girl." your tone was confident and assertive, since you knew your twin brother all too well. He just rolled his eyes at your comment, not wanting to admit you were right.

"Just cut it out, ok? As if you know what real love feels like, anyway." annoyance was present in his voice as he searched for his house keys.

"As if my lovely brother allows me to know what real love feels like." you simply replied, not moving your eyes from your current favorite book. Although you weren't looking at him, you could tell Billy's gaze on you could kill if you stared back.

"Y/N, we've talk about this. I'm not gonna let you be with Stu, you got that? I know him better than you, so listen to me for once and stop being such a brat." at this, it was your turn to roll your eyes, before getting up from the couch and heading to your room.

"Whatever Billy, enjoy your lovely date." you intentionally made an annoying tone at the word "lovely", which made Billy even more pissed by your behavior.

"I'll be back in two hours. Don't even think about inviting Stu over. I'm dead serious, Y/N." and with a final warning followed by a death stare, he closed the door to go out with his girlfriend that he pretended to be in love with for whatever reason.

You never understood why Billy was so overprotective over you when it came to Stu. Did he know something you didn't? Was Stu somehow dangerous or would he break your heart into a million pieces? Even if that was the main reason, honestly you didn't mind finding out for yourself if it meant you could be with Stu sexually or even romantically.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't concentrate on your novel after that conversation with your brother. Those questions couldn't leave your mind either, so you decided to use your free time to take care of yourself and get a proper treatment. You went to the bathroom to turn on the hot water, wanting nothing more than to relax after a long day of school. The water felt incredible on your skin, making you moan at the peaceful feeling. After a few minutes, you looked down at your legs and thought you'd better shave them as well as your pubic hair, since you wanted your skin to feel clean and smooth. Once you had finished, you put on a face mask before applying a body cream to your body. It felt so refreshing, as your worries and personal problems temporarily disappeared and were replaced by the feeling of pretending to be treated like a princess. You had so much fun on taking care of yourself and helping you raise your self-esteem that you almost didn't hear the doorbell ring. Why is Billy back already? And why did he ring the doorbell if you saw him take his house keys before he left? You quickly put on your cutest pajamas, since you were taking your princess treatment seriously, and ran to the door. You knew it was dangerous to open the door without checking who it was first, however you were expecting Billy, so you didn't pay much attention to it.

"Stu? What are you doing here?" you frowned as your eyes widened in disbelief, immediately feeling your cheeks turn red, because Stu was seeing you in your pajamas for the first time. Perhaps you should have checked who it was before opening the door so confidently, you noted mentally.

"Oh hey, Y/N! I didn't expect you to open the door. Not that I mind, you look really cute. Where's your brother?" you felt his big blue eyes on you, clearly checking you out as he looked you up and down. He also complimented you as if it was the most natural thing for him to do, probably having no idea of how hysterical it made you feel inside. After that, he walked past you as if he felt he had the right to enter your house without waiting for your permission.

"Uh... Billy didn't tell you? He left with Sid like half an hour ago. You should come back later or call him instead if you want to talk to him." you tried to say the right words so that Stu would get the message that he had to leave, since you didn't want to upset your brother and go against his word. However, deep down, if you listened to your needs, you wanted nothing more than to stay with Stu and enjoy his company, allowing yourself to get to know him better without being pressured into making small talk with him.

"Nahh it's cool, I can wait here. Wanna watch a movie? There's this crazy horror movie that came out recently and I really wanna watch it! Since Billy is not here, we could watch it together, what do you say?" his enthusiasm and energy were something you'd never seen before, and you found it very ironic and funny that he was the complete opposite of Billy, yet they managed to have such a deep and strong friendship. You were left speechless, knowing that your plan to convince Stu to leave your house before your brother got back went down the drain.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan." you answered, trying not to sound too excited about the idea of watching a movie with him and finally being able to be close to him and having some time alone with him as well.

"That's my girl! Where's the popcorn?" he asked casually, as he headed towards the pantry since he already knew yours and Billy's house like the back of his hand. What was he trying to do?? Drive you crazy with his constant compliments and flirting? Without needing your help, he picked a big bowl of popcorn that you had bought for yourself a few days ago and sat down on the sofa, using the tv remote to put on the movie he had chosen all by himself without giving you a chance to suggest any other ideas.

You stood paralyzed in the middle of the living room, still not processing that Stu was right in front of you waiting for you to join him... in your own house... alone.

"Are you gonna sit here with me or do I have to lift you up and make you sit on my lap instead?" his eyes were on you again, while an evident smirk was plastered on his handsome face. Oh God, he's definitely trying to drive you insane. It was then that you managed to move from where you were standing, walking slowly towards him. As soon as you sat down by his side, trying to keep some distance between the two of you so you could control yourself, you decided to speak.

"Look, Stu. I'd really enjoy to watch a movie with you, but you know damn well that if Billy finds us, he will-" as soon as you mentioned your brother's name, Stu immediately rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

"Come on Y/N, don't be like that! Billy is not here and if we want to be with each other, why should I stay away from you? It's not like I'm gonna jump on you and force you to have sex with me or something. I mean, unless you want me to." he laughed as if the whole thing was a joke to him, like he didn't understand the risks and the trouble you could both get into. He never took anything seriously and sometimes you wished you could be more like him. You blushed instantly at his shameless confession and your heart skipped a beat. Did he just admit he wanted to have sex with you as much as you did? When he saw your face, he started laughing exaggeratedly, obviously proud of himself for leaving you speechless and very shy with just a few words.

"My brother can't know you're here with me. Stu, I'm serious..." you didn't know what to say or how to react. The only thing you knew was that you weren't wearing panties and your pajama shorts were already wet.

"Oh really? Because I bet if I touched you right now, my fingers would be soaked." this time, his face was dead serious, his pupils dilated with lust and his intense eyes not leaving yours for even a second.

Your breathing was heavy by now, not wanting to give Stu the satisfaction of discovering how much you craved him. Without any warning, Stu grabbed your thigh and pulled you closer to him, surprising you with his unexpected strength. With his free hand, he easily moved the thin fabric of your pajama shorts and touched your bare cunt, proving his suspicions right. His long, slim fingers traced the drenched lips of your pussy, collecting your juices before circling your clit lightly. His teasing made you gasp and moan unintentionally so you bit your lips, forbidding yourself to let any more erotic sounds escape from your throat. He then brought his wet fingers into your vision, showing you how soaked you were for him with so little, as if you didn't already know. You felt extremely embarrassed at the sight displayed in front of you that Stu forced you to see, before a broad smile appeared on his face filled with pride. He eagerly took them into his mouth, moaning and sucking your cum off his fingers like it was the most delicious honey he had ever tasted in his life.

"Holy shit, I didn't know you tasted this good. Looks like I was right! My intuition never fails me, baby. You even shaved for me... looks like you knew this was gonna happen after all." he confessed with a big grin on his lips. You stood there with your legs slightly spread, not knowing whether to kiss him now and make your dreams come true or wait for his next move. Just as you were about to gather the courage to devour him, he was quicker and spoke first. "Now, let's watch this movie before that asshole returns home." and just like that, he pressed the play button and started the movie while eating popcorn as if nothing had happened.

You felt extremely annoyed and mad at him. How could he do this to you, only to stop his teasing and pretend that nothing had happened? How could he have so much self-control? Obviously, you couldn't focus on the movie, so you just enjoyed the sweet taste of the popcorn while trying your best, yet in vain, to extinguish the fire that was lit inside you. Twenty minutes into the movie, there wasn't as much action as you'd expect, which annoyed you and Stu as well. You almost missed how his eyes remained fixed on you, a smirk returning to his face with the intention of putting an end to what he had begun for good. You felt his right arm around you, after he had slowly approached you, as he whispered in you ear.

"I really enjoyed seeing you all frustrated because of me, but I promise you I'm not a selfish guy. I want to see my girl satisfied, even tho I like to tease you a bit. Come here, let me help you finish what I started." he said before getting up from the couch, offering his hand for you to take. You couldn't contain your excitement, so you rolled your eyes at him playfully and smiled excitedly, leading him to your room.

When you got there, he wasted no time and pushed you against the wall while kissing you feverishly, as if he needed to kiss you in order to survive. Your tongues and lips moved against each other as you fought for dominance, saliva spreading all over your chin and lips as he moved to your neck to give you visible love bites. You knew you'd have to cover that up later, but right now you didn't give a damn as you craved his possessive marks on you. You felt his hard cock against your core, rubbing against you to relieve some tension from both of you, and you could tell by its size that he was big. He quickly undressed you completely while he stripped only his shirt, enjoying your desperate look to see him fully naked too.

"Don't worry baby, you'll get to see my cock soon. Wait until it's inside you." he teased once again, before pushing you onto your bed, climbing up and grabbing your thighs close to his. He stared at your body as if it was the first time he'd seen a woman's naked body, as his lips salivated from hunger and desire. "Fuck, I knew you'd be beautiful naked, but nothing prepared me for seeing this gorgeousness all spread and wet for me." before you could react, you felt Stu kissing, sucking and biting your thighs to tease you a little longer, yet he quickly gave up on that idea and pressed his warm tongue against your throbbing clit.

To say that you moaned loudly was an understatement, as you screamed at the contact of his tongue on you while you clung to the soft sheets onto your dear life. He began eating you out like a mad man, alternating between sucking your clit and fucking your needy hole with his long tongue. You could tell he was skilled at oral sex, since it was the best you'd ever received and he made you cum in less than five minutes. Maybe you were ridiculously horny and turned on by him? Undoubtedly, yet his oral sex skills made everything better and much more intense. After that, he didn't stop his assaults on your overstimulated pussy, even if you begged him to. He made you cum a second time, but this time with his long fingers curled deep inside you. You felt like you were in heaven, as he gave you the most intense orgasm you had ever had in your entire life. You moaned like a porn star, unable to contain yourself, before you heard your front door slam shut.

You immediately leaned up on your elbows as you looked at Stu, who had an "oh fuck, we're screwed" expression on his face, accompanied by a contained laugh.

Indeed, you were both definitely screwed.

[kaiyaki-sano]

Lend Me Your Voice(band AU!Eren x fem!reader) pt.2

It’s been so long since I posted anything, and I had this sitting in the archives for a million years.....my bad y’all. Basically, Eren is a douchey frontman of the rock band “Titans”. This will be a 4 part slightly angsty mini-series, with a shameless little self-insert as Eren’s sister in part 2 bc I have no self-control when it comes to Levi~ I hope you enjoy it!!

MINORS DNI!!!! 

TW: sinful foul smut in the beginning, Eren is an asshole to reader, very minor character death for backstory purposes, swearing/dirty talk

Part 2!!

part one here ~

Another three weeks on this leg of the tour had gone by, and for some fucking irritating and infuriating reason, Eren Yeager could not get you off of his mind. 

Something about how you had looked so heartbroken and genuinely hurt by his words and actions made him feel…..bad. He never felt bad, he prided himself on that shit. But here he was, picturing that kicked puppy look of yours on a sick loop in his brain, making him wonder why the hell he’d been so cruel to you.

It was annoying. 

Eren knew that Connie had given you a VIP pass, he knew that you declared the renouncement of your Superfan title, and it shouldn’t have bothered him so much. 

Because what the fuck did Connie Springer care for?? It wasn’t like HE was the one you’d gotten onto the bus with, who you were screaming for, who you- Jesus fucking Christ, Eren, knock that shit off. 

He found himself being an extra dick to Connie for the rest of the week after that, but he never admitted why, and never will. 

But Connie knew, and it gave him the thrill to know that for once, he was the favored member by at least one person. Everyone always went for Eren, Jean, or even Mikasa. He felt like the Kevin Jonas of his own band as if everyone forgot that HE was the one who formed Titans back in high school with Jean, forgot that without him there wouldn't be any of this. 

So he was a dick right back. 

“What, you mad that I gave a damn about a fan and she appreciated the kindness?! Not all of us just fuck and chuck women, some of us have some damn RESPECT for them!!” 

In one of the many screaming matches that ensued after your short hour-and-a-half stay on their bus, Connie had finally called Eren out. 

“That’s it, Springer!! How’d ya guess??” Eren laughed bitterly in return, holding solid and steadfast in his ‘I don’t care’ act, “First of all, stay outta my business. Secondly, I couldn’t give less of a fuck if you played nice with another sad little slutty fan who spread their legs to me and found out their pussy wasn’t good enough for me to marry ‘em. If you want my sloppy seconds that badly, I’m sure they’re plenty happy to lower their standards and give it up to you too.”

Connie didn’t say a word, standing there fuming, fists balled up so tightly his pulse radiated through his fingertips. At that moment, the drummer wanted nothing more than to swing his fist into the arrogant jaw in front of him. 

Eren’s smirk was wicked, eyes dark and tone cold as Siberian winds, “Y’look like you wanna hit me, Con.”

Two strides of his long legs had him right in Connie’s face, head tilted condescendingly as he leaned down and asserted dominance.

“Do it then. Hit me, I dare you.” 

Before he could live his dream, Levi, the ever-exhausted manager of the band, intercepted, shoving them roughly apart with a disapproving steel glare. 

“That’s about enough, you god damned idiots. I suggest you get this figured out, whatever absolute bullshit it is this time, and figure it out quickly. Understood?” 

Eren laughed even harder, resting a hand on his stomach, “Or what? You gonna get that step stool and punch me yourself?? You already got into my sister’s pants, you don’t need to try and impress her. Ain’t it embarrassing though? Your girl being almost a foot taller than you?” To say that he was on a warpath would be a vast understatement. He was out for blood and needed something or someone(s) to take it out on, to rid himself of the guilt eating him alive and prying open the vaults of his deeper wounds. 

That guilt of hurting you so badly, he couldn’t stand it. But he refused to do the right thing as if his pride were at stake. 

“You know what I think, Eren?” 

The sound of his stupid sister’s voice made him look over, glaring. 

“Oh, you can do that now? Miracles can happen, maybe God exists!” He mocked her, rolling his eyes, “Enlighten me.”

“I think you care about her more than you’re willing to admit, and you look fucking stupid. That’s what I think, and so does everyone else.” She said flatly, tired of being a punching bag to her brother just as much as his bandmates and former friends despite knowing the exact reason why; it wasn’t like she didn’t understand, “We didn’t make you such an unfeeling asshole, so stop taking it out on us when you deal with the consequences of your own foul actions.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. We’re leaving before I beat you half to death.” Levi chimed in, effectively ending the conversation and walking off with his arm around her waist protectively, shooting one last glare to them both as a warning before closing the door of the bus behind him.

Deep down, Eren knew they were right. All of them. But they could never know that. 

With a dismissing scoff, he flipped Connie his middle finger before closing himself off in the back bedroom of the bus. The frontman flopped himself onto the bed, stretching his limbs out, reaching under the pillow for the familiar cool touch of the picture frame he kept there, and pulling it out to stare longingly at the photo inside.

“I wish you were here, mom. M’sorry I’m fucking everything up, ah- I mean messing everything up, sorry. I know you hate when I swear around you.” He swallowed thickly as if he were trying to physically consume the hurt, make it just digest like a meal and finally go away, “I think I really ruined everything for myself, my friends hate me, I keep hurting innocent people-” 

Another flash of your sad eyes played in his mind, and he squeezed his own shut tightly, hugging the photo to his chest and curling into a ball, “You’d be so disappointed, ma. The way I’m treating women, you wouldn’t even know me anymore, I-I’m sorry-”

And finally, after fighting with all his strength to hold it in for so long, Eren gave up. He sobbed, hard, chest tightening as he screamed in agony into his pillow, choking on tears and snot, and he didn’t care. 

He wanted his mom. He wanted to be okay. He wanted to be himself again. He never meant to hurt anyone, never meant to hurt you, he just wanted the pain to stop. 

There was nothing he wouldn’t give for the pain to stop. 

That night, Eren Yeager cried himself to sleep, the picture of him at age five being held by his beloved late mother unmoved against his chest. 

[artmsmaid]

𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔬𝔤!

eddie munson x non-binary reader

+18 MINORS DNI

sinopse: You are shy and keep to yourself, mainly having your dog's companionship. But when you go to summer camp for an extended weekend, you come back to find that your dog has made a new friendship with the infamous town metalhead, Eddie Munson.

cw: underage drinking, drug use, canon divergent, eventual sexual situations, bisexual reader.

wc: 1447k

chapter (2/?).

"Absolutely not! That's MY dog!"

You were baffled by what he said to you next.

"Well..." he slowly sat down and continued to pet Fuffly, if you didn't know that your dog couldn't understand the conversation, you'd think it was waiting for the confrontation while happily being fondled. "Prove it."

Blinking in confusion, what the hell does he mean by that? So, you cleverly asked: "What the hell do you mean prove it?"

"I mean for you to prove it." And he had the nerve to smile at you???

Does he think that you were just up and around Tuesday morning walking around a forest and then decided to go and lie about having a dog?

"Fluffly has a name tag on its collar and it says Fuffly with a date, the date he was born." You finally said, after a moment of silence where you're shocked and the stranger was staring at you, still petting your dog.

"And what day is that?" He turned his head to the side, eyebrows going up just a little.

"Are you fudging kidding me?!" You angrily let out, your fists closing down.

He giggles, "No, no, no, no, I'm for sure not fudging". 

You set aside the slight mockery you heard in his voice to puff out your answer, "15th of July, a true Gemini."

He nodded, looking like he was finally realizing something, "that's why it looks so small then".

"What?" You approached two more steps, looking offended.

"It's that thing you said, a gemy."

"Gemini!" It has been a long time since someone made you feel so many emotions in so little time, but again it has been some time since you had a conversation with someone close to your age, "and he is a Yorkshire, Gemini is his birth sign."

When you came close again, he put his arms a bit more protective around the small dog, surprising you. You weren't going to hurt your dog, but he was looking at you suspiciously like you were going to take it and run away. Shouldn’t you be the one more worried in this scenery?

"Okay, maybe this is your dog," he starts and pauses when you roll your eyes to mumble 'well it is', you were ignored, "but that doesn't mean I should give him to you."

You went from annoyed to shocked to angry, and it looks like this boy in front of you was angry as well. He continued, "For days Curly was walking here alone, why would you let your dog walk around like this?".

This was confusing to you, as your mother promised to walk Fluffy while you were gone at camp. Did she forget? But another thing caught your thoughts right after, "Curly?".

"Aren't you going to answer me?", now he was the one rolling their eyes.

"Its name is Fuffly", you gave one more step, now completely in his personal space, only your dog between you both. You didn't like invading people's personal space, but you had to assert your control over the situation.

It didn't work that well though, as he got up and was taller than you, especially with that annoyingly soft-looking big hair of his. You could also smell his perfume, or some time of body deodorant since perfume seems to fancy for him, it was a very different smell from all the french fragrances you are used to in your home, definitely stronger musk smell."It's a stupid name, Curly Destroyer is better."

Now, Eddie didn't think your name was stupid, but he was still a bit angry at you and wanted to be annoying just for the sake of it.

"Curly Destroyer is way more ridiculous", you were, as well, being annoying for the sake of it. You puffed, and he puffed back. You put your hands on your hips, and he put his hands on as well.

"It's bad-ass, and you still haven't answered me, cutie, why was Curly all alone?"

You would've been taken by surprise by the pet name if it wasn't for the worried mixed disappointed look he was giving you. You finally stopped ripping his hair strand by strand in your mind to evaluate the situation. How did he know Fuffly? He even named him a different name... Was he telling you the truth? Was your dog walking around unchaperoned in the woods these last days? It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it was still dangerous.

"Fuffly wasn't alone," you start to answer, and he looks like he's going to interrupt you when you amend "Well, he wasn't supposed to be alone, my mom should've walked him every morning".

Eddie calmed down a bit with your words. Even if he was still upset by the situation when he looked into your eyes and saw nothing but honesty and confusion, he had to cave in. And they were beautiful eyes, shining in the soft morning light making his heart beat irregularly and being a bit disappointed that you would look away so quickly.

"She didn't", he lets out, trying to come back from the haze, "I mean, I didn't see her, I only saw Curly." He amends when you moved back your face twitching a little at the rash statement. You would have to talk to your mother to know what happened. Although, you’ll hate the confrontation, never enjoying asking more than necessary, sometimes not even to your parents.

"Fuffly," you made a point to correct his name again but only gained a smile back and a roll of eyes as he muttered a ‘not happening’ , "is very used to the forest. We walk here every day. Maybe... he walked off from mother and later came back, so she knew he was safe."

He didn’t seemed very impressed by your excuse, and watched you with hawk eyes as you lowered down to your dog, who happily licked your cheeks with not a worry in his canine eyes. You swiftly glanced at Eddy, was that a jealous look? He got attached fast to the small dog. Even if it wasn’t your responsibility, you would feel horrible to just take Fuffly away by now, and leave those big chocolate rich brown eyes drown in sadness.

Not that you care that much about him, of course, you were just such a good person.

So, with a not subtle at all throat clearing sound, you settle down on the floor, “you know… I’m a bit tired, but Fuffly likes to play a lot”.

“Yes?”, you don’t look, but you know he has a smile on that dumb pretty face. “He does have lots of energy for something so small… You don’t share the genes?”

This makes you look, a frown in your face as you decide if he is calling you short, lazy or both. And yes, the smile in the dumb pretty face gets bigger. “The nerve of you… I just arrived from traveling!”

“Such a pity” he mocks, “didn’t have the energy to stay longer?”

“You know what? I’m not that tired”, you decide, getting up, “I will play with Fuffly.”

“Do you want me to throw it so you both can try to catch?”, he’s reveling on it now, it has been the longest time you looked at him without turning away.

“I beg your pardon?!” a pink flush covers all your face and ears, and he laughs, the sound is a bit like a toddler’s laugh, carefree and full of life.

“Come on, cutie, I won’t throw too far.” He tilts a bit, looking really deep in your eyes, and that’s maybe the first time you don’t mind it at all.

“I bet you couldn’t catch it if I throw it in your face” You make up a mean smile, trying to tease him to, but something went sideways, as a glint in his eyes makes him get closer to your face to whisper.

“Oh, cutie, you can throw it to me any day.”

You don’t get when in the conversation you both stopped talking about an actual wood stick, but now you are more flushed than ever, noticing you can smell his toothpaste with how close he is of you. He also looks disoriented, brown eyes going all over your face to stop on your lips.

Something touch your legs, and you both step back and look down with wild eyes. Fuffly got a wood stick and is expectantly looking at both of you. Laughing, this time more bashfully, Eddy gets the stick from the dog, not being capable of looking at you as his heart is fighting to stay in his chest. “Looks like someone wants to play.”

author's note: I promise the next part won't take a life-time, I got ill but I'm better now.

[tyrantisterror]

I want to talk about Harley Quinn for a bit, unprompted by anything, because fuck you it’s my blog I do what I want.

Because I’m a nerd who thinks too much about stories I like to sort the stages of my life by the heroes that defined them.  Godzilla was the hero of my childhood, a big dinosaur who taught a bullied kid me that you have a right to dig in your feet and assert who you are even when the world is against you for it.  Spider-Man was the hero of my teens, helping me cope with learned just how chaotic the adult world I was preparing to enter is and survive the rocky road to growing up.  Sherlock Holmes was the hero of my college years, a person who found what he wanted to do in life and devoted himself entirely to it, which is what I tried to do in turn.

Harley Quinn is the hero of my current stage.  I know most people would find that weird since she’s, like, a supervillain most of the time, and at best a very amoral anti-hero, but I mean it entirely sincerely.  And she’s the hero of my current age in part because she’s defined so much by her failures.

In almost every incarnation, Harley’s backstory begins with her going to college and pursuing a career that will bring her material success and prestige, as so many people in my generation were told to do.  She does as instructed and gets that career, only to immediately be shown the grim reality of what she signed up for, and getting broken by the stress that comes with the job almost immediately.  Saying she became a supervillain is actually generous because Harley really becomes a supervillain’s henchman, completely subservient to and exploited by a character who’s basically a personification of the corruption that made her dream job a living hell.

As a villain/henchman, Harley’s fun but a bit limited.  She exists to provide comic relief - both by being a goofier, lighter sort of evil compared to the other, more dangerous villains, and by being just debauched enough herself that we can laugh when she fails and gets knocked on her ass.  She’s a punching bag for the narrative, a joke to be laughed at and only occasionally pitied (but never enough to keep us from rooting for her to lose).

It’s important to note here that Harley was initially created for Batman the Animated Series, which is specifically a version of the Batman story where redemption doesn’t happen.  There have been papers written on this, even.  Because B:TAS was a serialized story designed to go on as long as the executives at Warner Bros thought it was making money, its villains had to stay villains, because if they ever changed from that they’d no longer serve their narrative purpose.  There are countless episodes where various villains try to turn over a new leaf (including one for Harley), but they always end with the villain in question backsliding into villainy.  As one critic pointed out, it’s kind of Calvinist that way: you’re either good or bad from creation, and no matter what you try to do you can’t change that, no matter how much you might want to be good.  A B:TAS villain has no choice but to be a villain till the story ends, and the story is never meant to end.

Comic books are also serialized and meant to be endless, so in this way B:TAS is pretty true to the source material.  However, because of just how long comics have gone on, sometimes writers are given permission to shake things up and change the status quo for a bit, to keep people engaged.  And while these changes are generally dialed back (there’s countless jokes about how rarely even death sticks in comics), occasionally they prove popular enough to become the new status quo.  It’s not common, but it has happened.

And this is where Harley goes from fun to inspiring - because Harley made a new status quo.

Being incredibly popular, Harley Quinn eventually got her own comic book series, which is a pretty big deal for a glorified henchman.  And because it was her comic series, the writers had to figure out who Harley was without the presence of Batman or the Joker, the characters who had defined her up to this point.  They looked at Harley’s personality and backstory and tried to figure out what Harley would do on her own.

And the result was something really interesting.  She stopped being a henchman, and ultimately proved too good-natured to be a villain, yet a bit too chaotic  and counter-culture to be a traditional hero, while also being too plucky and sweet to resemble most comic book anti-heroes.  Her background as a psychologist became more prominent as people realized that a comic book world actually kind of desperately needs some good psychologists around, and her wildcard status made her bounce off of other characters, both villains and heroes, in interesting ways few other characters could do.

It was fun and interesting and popular, so it stuck.  Harley, who was born in one of the most rigidly static versions of the Batman mythos, where villains stay villains and heroes stay heroes, broke the status quo and remade it.  Harley, who was originally defined by her failure and victimization, made a whole new role for herself, and found success despite it all.  The punching bag became so beloved that the rules of the universe bent for her, and what once was the sum of her character became just an added wrinkle of backstory to creating the trickster that comics fans love.

Harley went to college, got her dream career, promptly got her ass kicked by said career when it turned out to suck ass, and spent a decade or so going through hell before finally discovering who she really wanted to be, and then became that person to the love and support of all.  That’s why Harley Quinn is inspiring, and that’s why she’s my hero.

[ninepentz]

Christina Johnson vanished while walking her dog

Found!! 2 weeks later, updates posted within blog.

What we know so far

As of 03/17/24

27yr old Christina Johnson from houston, tx went for a walk with her dog around 8am on March 6th of this month. She was wearing a backpack and had apparently left her phone at home. She never arrived back that day and no one has heard from her since

Her father says she was having "challenges" at the time and hoped that she was working through them. He also said that she may not be aware of possible danger or dangerous people, so she's very vulnerable. They found her dog max 7 miles away from her home almost a week and 2 days later.

This is very interesting. I have no idea what could of happened, this is a case that I noticed while scrolling on my tiktok fyp. Since it's not being talked about a lot and it's been past a week since she's been gone with no answers, I decided to take a look at her last seen charts. So hopefully we can find out more, let's go.

8am last seen chart above.

So in missing persons cases, when we are dealing with a grown adult we look to the ascendant for details and then we look to the ascendant planet ruler. For Christians case the ascendant ruler is mars, which is in Aquarius in the 11th house. Unfortunately I don't have her date of birth which would make this a more specific reading but for now this is what we have.

Aquarius mars in the 11th:

What this is telling me is that, maybe she got into a very strange unique accident with a possible gang/community or just maybe ended up in an area that's isolated, unpopular, deserted, untypical.. most likely whatever happened, it could be somewhere in the woods or in general just some place where there's no connection to society or other people.

This could also describe friends, it's possible she was meeting a friend with the 11th house here. Maybe even for sex bc mars is a sexual planet.

***Since the update that she's been found, I heard that the area where she was walking during (apparently she was seen 10 miles away on cctv) was known to have heavy crime and gang activity. So people were surprised that she was in that area alone.. as of today April 21st a month later, there still is no information on what happened to her or what she did during the 2 weeks she was missing. It's interesting and strange. Her father was being very unforth coming with any information.

Confirmed cctv footage below. Seen entering/exiting some building

Venus Aquarius in the 11th, conjunct mars:

Very weird to me. It could be that she was maybe looking for a way to make money bc of Venus being here. Money through a friend, or maybe she was going for a walk to a restaurant/store to either spend money or eat. It's possible she was very energetic at this time too with Venus and mars conjunct. Like she was easily stimulated, passionate, assertive. Maybe she was finding security through a friend or something like that.

***What's interesting since the update that she's been found is she was known to go to restaurants like Jack in the box or any place with wifi to use her laptop in, and I knew none of this until today. Apparently she was looking for a job around the time she was missing. So that could be what this making money with venus here was about.

Video below of Christina's father speaking on it, I'm shocked at the accuracy of astrology.

Ascendant in Aries conjunct Chiron:

Maybe she was visibly hurt or very vulnerable looking with chiron aspecting the asc. It's possible either by her appearance or personality you can tell something was amiss.

Sun, Mercury, Neptune all in the 12th house of pisces:

I would be checking water bc there's a stellium in pisces in the 12th. I feel like Christina would of been very sensitive on this day, feeling creative, spiritual, following her own inner compass. Maybe she was somewhat disconnected from her identity and unable to see herself clearly. Maybe she was distracted listening to music, lost in her head/dreamy, even physically detached from reality. Basically ungrounded. So her sight, hearing, sensory all could of been a reason she wasn't aware of her surroundings as much. I also think she could of been very impressionable and lead astray. If someone wanted to they could easily control her, tell her what to do, etc bc pisces + 12th house describes that she would be trusting, adaptable, flowing like water able to take shape of any environment she's in.

There's a reason her dad said she wouldn't be able to recognize danger bc of whatever challenges she was going through. So he was very aware of her mental state, knows something we don't.

Moon conjunct Pluto in Capricorn in the 10th:

Maybe she was trying to be somewhat responsible, productive, goal oriented with these 2 planets both in Capricorn in the 10th. This tells me there's something about status, influence, success, fame, career, public life (10th house things)

Mars square Uranus:

Something very strange happened, like a unpredictable, unique type of accident. Possible shock, car crash/collision, head injury.

Venus square Uranus:

Venus sq Uranus would explain things not going according to plan, being attracted to unique, strange things/people/relationships. It's possible she was avoiding responsibilities. Something confusing must of happened to where she couldn't believe it or understand why, how, what. Unfamiliar events.

Mars square Jupiter:

It's possible if an accident did happen, she ended up very far away from where she was. Like say if she got into a car crash, her body would be very far in a foreign area. Mars is aggression, power, quickness and Jupiter amplifies those qualities. So things are exaggerated, extremely forced, overkill. This could def describe an accident bc mars and Jupiter together describes a situation where there was no care, consideration, patience, things happened too quickly.

Jupiter trine MC:

She may be found soon, somewhere foreign.

***New update is she was found near the university of Houston which is 6 hours away from her home. There's no way she could of walked there on her own or maybe she did but it's highly unlikely. They say that she may have had help and other people were involved.. but jupiter is def higher learning, education, far distances. Crazy how accurate astrology is. Below you can see where she was last seen vs found.

Saturn sextile MC:

It's interesting that this case isn't being talked about enough but I feel like it could be one of those cases that end up teaching us all something in the end. It will provide something useful to law enforcement/public that is long lasting.

Venus semisquare MC:

Maybe law enforcement feels like there's not much cooperation on this case, they may have got a little lazy on this case with Venus in hard aspect to MC. Maybe law enforcement isn't in harmony with the public is what I'm getting from this since Venus is in the 11th house of groups and communities.

I never got to finish this reading but I left up all my interpretations with the new updates I added to them at the bottom. I'm just now barely finding out all this new information a month later, she was found near the end of March. Links for more info below

I'm so glad she was found. Tbh this case was very weird to me and it didn't make sense. So that's why I stopped bc I didn't want to assume anything happened to her and the information we had at the time was very unclear. Thanks for reading if you got this far :)

**You can find all my forensic astrology blogs in one place by searching and following the hashtag -> #forensicastrology no spaces.

**Link to information about getting a reading from me below.

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[coolcattime]

Some of my thoughts on The Devil in Me because I love the Dark Pictures games and I've had a few days to think since finishing our playthrough (I playthrough these games with my best friend Atlas) and also spent some time looking into alternative routes and things we missed.

These thoughts are gonna contain spoilers but in general, I loved this game. I wish there were more traps and more opportunities for characters to die, but those things didn't reduce our enjoyment of the game.

Firstly, beyond anything, thank God scene select before the game is over is back after being gone in The Quarry (I know The Quarry isn't a Dark Pictures game but obviously they're the same style). We used scene select to reload four scenes throughout the playthrough, which I don't know completely by name but it was the glass wall trap (to save Kate), the roof chase (to save Jamie, then about another 4 time mistakenly thinking Kate was dying when she can't die in this scene), the slaughterhouse scene (to save Charlie, though I thought him dying from falling off the planks was really funny), and the scene with the dog (to save Jamie). Obviously this means we did save everyone, including Connie the dog.

Opinions on the characters:

My favourite Jamie, Atlas' favourite Kate.

Honestly I really liked all the women. Jamie was my personal favourite because I like kinda mean women in horror, that Jamie and Erin's relationship got me very invested in them. I was actually quite surprised Jamie and Erin wasn't in any of the advertising as it happens quite quickly and I was so much more invested in them than Mark and Kate.

I really did like Erin. I really like that she is quite assertive despite how they definitely could have made her quiet. Like she knows what she experiences and isn't willing to be told otherwise. Atlas thinks she should've been in the game more as she's by far the most sympathic character in the group.

Kate grew in me, I thought she might just kind of be the main character(tm), though I did like her helping Mark cross the bridge and her giving Charlie the self help book is such a funny gift to give your boss. Then it started getting into Kate's backstory and God did I like Kate. Her fully accepting and not putting her own death on Jamie in the glass trap was maybe my favourite scene in the game (I also like the reverse scene with Jamie). Atlas thinks that she's one of the best written characters in the series, as they can see how there would be a lot of different ways to interpret her, and that they relate to her a lot.

Charlie I thought was like good, a dick but I think that makes sense with the trope of him being the boss. Atlas thinks that there wasn't really enough time to do the story of Charlie setting everything up, which I definitely agree with.

Mark is my least favourite by far because, well, his character is a bit confused. Like his lesson at the end of the story was apparently to make his own decisions, but I never got that. He was very condescending to both Kate and Erin and I'm honestly not sure why he broke up with Kate but then is staying that a bad job to be with her. Atlas sets that Mark is probably his least favourite character in the series, and that he is "Mike from Until Dawn but bad and not vibey". I think this is made worse by Mark being unable to die until the finales.

For some more general thoughts:

-- This is the first time we've wanted to replay one of the tutorials.

-- I love the concept of a bad ending with a completely different finale scene, I wish it could any two characters rather than just Kate and Mark.

-- I like that not everything is spelled out about DuMet, he's a mysterious slasher killer and while there's enough info to come to a pretty good conclusion, it isn't just outright said and leaves some stuff to theory crafting.

-- I love that the everyone lives ending, it's the two couples getting whatever ending their relationship dictates and then Charlie quitting smoking, just made me chuckle.

[buffaloborgine]

"I can assure you people who denied the idea that Sephiroth was no real hero and just a Shinra propaganda were very very loud and even rude with writing comments to reply to my posts."

I don't understand how anyone can deny the fact that Sephiroth was never a true hero and was just used by Shinra to recruit more soldiers. Shinra is clearly an evil corporation who lies and manipulates people to carry out their evil deeds. He killed a lot of soldiers from Wutai and Rhadore(who were just trying to protect their homelands from being colonized). That's far from heroic if you ask me. But Shinra paints these actions as "heroic" anyways.

As for Sephiroth still obeying Shinra's orders despite the fact he knows he's their pawn, it's never been explicitly said why and left up to the viewer's interpretation.

One thing I do agree with is that Sephiroth wasn't a very good friend and he should share the blame with both Genesis and Angeal in their friendship falling apart. Denying and not addressing his flaws is also denying who he truly is as a character and a person. The lack of communication between all three of them is what caused this tragedy. Sephiroth first not telling his friends about how Shinra actually treated him since childhood and then Angeal and Genesis for suddenly leaving each other without saying why. I vehemently disagree that Sephiroth was the main one responsible for Genesis' wound. Angeal tried to stop both of them before the fight got out of hand. Sephiroth stopped, but Genesis didn't. He still tried to burn Angeal again to get to Sephiroth. Sephiroth may have gotten too far in their practice duel together, but Genesis was the one who pushed it in the first place.

Okay, to be clear I want to say, I am on the term of "Whoever started things first is to blame for everything coming later", so if you say that Genesis pushed it in the first place, have you considered Sephiroth actually mocked Angeal and Genesis right after winning them in a practice fight? If you say all the three of them are responsible then had Sephiroth not mocking them first, Genesis wouldn't get in for a second, more serious fight. And this behavior of Sephiroth, while may not be something really intended because he seems very oblivious to other people's feeling, has been something repetitive: he whistled like dog whistling to Glenn's party, he smirked at Zack when the latter was coming to get the mission from Lazard (which is what should be done by Sephiroth instead), he mockingly told Zack that not successfully dealing with the scenario in Junon is going to be in Zack's profile while he could have gone in and help, or in one DMW cutscene, Sephiroth mocks Zack for not knowing about 1st SOLDIERs privileges => Sephiroth has never learnt that his tiny actions or gestures may piss off other people and they are just tolerating him (either because he was too young for the time or that they were being kind). When a repetitive bad behavior keeps on going, you can't say it was just accident. The scenario in the training room obviously didn't start with Genesis, it started when Sephiroth said "Is that all you got?" (EN)/"When will you put that toy sword away?" (JP) to Angeal, because Genesis' restarting the fight is clearly to lash back at Sephiroth's cocky nature, hence Angeal tried to stop him. And Sephiroth could have stopped once Angeal jumped in to intervene the fight, but no he continued to rush in to assert his dominance, resulting in Genesis lashing out without control in the end. So, to conclude this, using root cause analysis: the elements around the training room were just minor reason but Sephiroth mocking Angeal and Genesis is the main reason. You can't tell me "But Genesis should control himself", please, you think that kind of lashing back is something happened over one or two mockings? That looks like a gas tank busted after too many heat applied.

[casspurrjoybell-18]

Mutual Desire - Chapter 19b

*Warning - Adult Content*

Once again, Damien Clark's impulsiveness resurfaced. 

If he had stock tape handy, he would have used it on his mouth to stop his big mouth from opening. 

He had no idea where the courage to say all that came from. 

As if his mouth was controlled by an external force. 

Though he believed the words that were coming out, he nonetheless regretted asserting them. 

Damien sensed the conversation was going to take a turn that wasn't going to be at all to his advantage.

The muscles of Nabokov's mouth stretched a little more.

"And what exactly do I gain in provoking you?"

The two men were smiling at each other as if they were engaging in a game that they themselves had invented.

"The pleasure in doing so," Damien answered without any hesitation, like his response was more than obvious to him.

Nabokov was silent for a moment, scrutinizing Damien as if he were trying reading into him. 

The distinctive look that Nabokov gave him troubled Damien who could only capitulate and lower his eyes, his smile gone. 

Nabokov pulled his hand away, that was stuck to Damien's cheek and went to carefully lift Damien's chin with his index. 

The two men now looked at each other intently, their little smirks gone.

"And you, Damien, do you feel pleasure in provoking me?" Nabokov's voice was low, like a whisper and deep.

Damien's throat felt dry and he swallowed nervously, shivers taking hold of his body.

"I'd say that I like challenging a powerful man like you."

Damien himself was astonished and impressed by his straight honesty.

 It must have been the air in the limousine that was the cause of such openness because Damien had no idea where the source of all that frankness that he was letting out was coming from.

"And what do you gain in doing so? Wouldn't it also be pleasure?"

Damien quickly moistened his lower lip and swallowed his saliva to again dry out his dehydrated throat.

"Maybe," Damien admitted.

"You should be careful. A pleasure can become quite addictive. It would be a pity if you wouldn't be able to no longer live without it."

Damien drew an arrogant smile in his face.

"Don't worry, I'm the kind of person that gets easily bored of something. I guess you're the same too?"

"No, there are certain pleasures in life that we never get tired of. There are certain pleasures that others give us that we never get tired of."

The two men looked at each other without blinking, an imposing silence intensifying the atmosphere in the air. 

Their traditional gaze game seemed to have returned. 

None of them moved as they gazed at each other's lips for a split second. 

Nabokov had placed his hand back on Damien's cheek and the Russian man's thumb began to caress Damien's skin, the finger being a little too adventurist, going a little too close to Damien's lips. 

Nabokov's actions made Damien perplexed as ever and the questions struck his head. 

He was trying to interpret the Russian's very recent behavior. 

Damien wanted to comprehend why Nabokov put himself in such an intimate and closeness position. 

Perhaps Damien was the only one who perceived it as such. 

Perhaps he was making a big deal out of it and trying to read way too hard into it and this rapprochement with ‘Gray-Eyes’ was just another way to intimidate Damien. 

But that didn't explain that mysterious glow, which was baffling Damien, by which Nabokov was looking at him. 

And that hand that was gently placed on his cheek. 

And his thumb that caressed him with tenderness. 

And... Yes, many details were still misunderstood but it was the last of Damien's worries at the moment, since he sensed that something was going to happening. 

He couldn't pin down the gesture but what he was certain of was he wouldn't be the one to do it. 

For several seconds now, Nabokov and Damien contemplated each other in silence. 

The more time passed, the more Damien felt that a gesture was imminent. 

Alexander Nabokov's eyes descended on Damien Clark's mouth and Damien squeezed his lips, licking them quickly, his throat tightening and his anxious heart animating with violent beating. 

Nabokov's grey eyes moved up to encounter Damien's, as his thumb brushed Damien's lower lip, caressing it gently. 

An indecipherable glow appeared in Nabokov's eyes and the man accentuated a slight pressure on Damien's rosy cheek with his hand, before... 

The sound of a vibration was suddenly heard as Damien sighed, realizing he had held his breath while Nabokov's thumb touched ‘deliberately?’ his lip. 

Nabokov had touched his lip?

What was that?

Nabokov leaned slightly to seize his cell-phone next to the laptop's keyboard, separating himself a little at the same time from Damien. 

He quickly stared at his phone and looked back at Damien, who was suddenly feeling like the temperature in the car had risen.

"We've arrived," Nabokov announced, in an emotionless tone.

Indeed, the limousine had stop moving for a moment now. 

Damien gently cleared his burning throat and looked down at his legs.

"Thanks," Damien murmured.

"I'll come by tomorrow to drop your car off."

"Okay. Thanks," Damien repeated, still not moving.

Once again, a silence was settled. 

Damien's gaze remained on his legs, bizarrely not carry out any movement.

"I want your number, Damien" Nabokov said with his naturally authoritative tone.

Damien looked up abruptly at Nabokov and the Russian stared back at him with his neutral mask.

"If there is a problem with the car, the garage or I can contact you," Nabokov added.

A slight and bizarre disappointment reached Damien who barely nodded, while Nabokov handed him his phone that he took without saying a word. 

This time Damien made sure that their fingers didn't touch. 

Then he put down his number and handed the phone back to Nabokov, who took it without looking away from Damien. 

They observed each other without either of them uttering a word. 

Damien didn't understand why he wasn't moving when he arrived at his destination. 

Since he had entered this limo, he had wished to get out of it as soon as possible. 

However, he sat still, though he finally had the chance to escape. 

As if he was waiting for Nabokov to tell him something. 

As if he expected Nabokov to make a ‘gesture’. 

And that's exactly what the Russian man did. 

Nabokov loomed over Damien with the same intimacy of earlier and his big hand gently gripped his blushing cheek. 

The two men found themselves in the same position, their faces, a few millimetres apart, their noses clinging. 

And without warning, Nabokov put his lips on Damien's free cheek.

"I’ll see you tomorrow, then," the Russian whispered after the kiss.

Damien had the sensation that his heart had stopped and that his brain had interrupted all activity.

"Yes... Good night," Damien managed to say with overwhelming difficulty.

He gave one last look at Nabokov, before turning for the last time towards the window. 

He opened the door and got out of the limo, his heart exploding in his chest.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Some OFMD episode 9 and 10 things that really hit but I’d kinda forgotten because they’re not the Big Ones:

- “I’m a strong reader/writer, so both, double threat.” I crack the fuck up every time. Lucius 18th century theater kid 4 lyfe

BUT ALSO

- Lucius reading so proudly and confidently and bravely from Stede’s journal...the journal that’s been a running joke this whole time...the journal they were trying so hard to throw overboard...the journal that damns Stede in one moment and saves him in another. Especially in relation to this post about the role of journals and diaries and personal correspondence in charting queer history...I will never not love that moment.

- Stede’s FACE when they’re all like “like a crew!”

- When they’re in line at the privateering academy and Stede says “so what’s the plan?” Oh my heart hurt. Because on some level Stede still expects The Legendary Blackbeard to be there with a plan for immediate escape. But Ed’s sick of making plans! (“So we make a plan and then we execute the plan and then we make another plan...”) He wants so desperately to stop!! (And yet he jumps right back into doing it again once it involves running away with Stede.)

- Stede reacting to Ed having shaved and folding socks. At this point we’re very used to seeing the narrative through Stede’s POV, but this really should have been a clue that something had gone seriously off the rails with the way Stede was thinking about this situation. Not only because Ed himself seems completely at peace with it, but because the narrative itself would never suggest that there’s something off or bad or wrong with a man presenting himself in a less traditionally masculine way and doing domestic, feminine tasks like folding clothes. Stede himself argues against that logic when they’re sewing the flags! It’s antithetical to everything the show is saying!

- All of this adding up to: Stede still doesn’t quite see how much being Blackbeard was weighing on Ed. We the audience are really the only ones who get the full picture. Would Ed ever have signed the Act of Grace if not for Stede? Probably not, because The Legendary Blackbeard doesn’t just surrender, and certainly not to the British of all people. But we see from the very beginning that Ed is desperately looking for a way to stop being Blackbeard, and the two options he’s come up with before now are (1) literal death and (2) stealing someone’s identity and living under a different mask for the rest of his life. Not bloody optimal! And...this is a way out. No, he probably would never have taken it on his own, but in doing it for Stede, he is able to do it for himself as well. (That’s the thing he likes about Stede, right? That Stede allows him to be a version of himself that he can’t be, that it’s not safe to be, around anyone else.) And when they’re at the privateering academy...he is so so fucking relieved. Not to have to maintain the persona, not to be in command, not to be responsible for a bunch of lives in constant high-stakes situations, to be able to think only about what makes Ed happy right now. He looks more relaxed and at peace and happy in episode 9 than at any other point in the show.

- When Stede arrives back at his house he’s not wearing shoes. Like yes I think he was having misgivings ever since they signed the Act of Grace and that’s why Chauncey’s speech was able to affect him the way it did, and I think he did make a choice not to go meet Ed at the dock...but also yeah he really did walk straight home overnight while in shock.

- How earnestly the talent show bit is played. Yes it looks ridiculous in contrast to how the episode ends but that whole scene is like...it would have been so easy to slide into a mockery or parody of the kind of atmosphere Stede cultivated on the ship but it’s played so sincerely and that’s very important.

- Izzy correcting the crew on Ed’s name and Ed saying “No, Izzy. Actually, I do want to be called Edward from now on.” (Also, asserting that when he’s in a supportive environment with the crew, then backpedaling to “Well, I am still Blackbeard” when he’s alone with Izzy.) I’d completely forgotten this line, but knowing how the episode ends, wow it made me flinch. We’ve talked about Ed putting the Blackbeard persona back on as a sort of symbolic forced detransition/going back in the closet, but what a way to put a fine point on it here. Also fUCK FUCK FUCK HE WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE HE ALMOST MADE IT OUT OKAY!!!!

- Stede’s big realization at the end: I still think he’s only got it figured out halfway. He’s figured out oh I’m in love with him. But I really think he still has no clue how much Ed loves him back, and thus how much he hurt him by leaving. He really thought he was leaving Ed for Ed’s own good, that he’d ruined him. And likewise I think he sees going to find Ed as something he’s doing for his own, Stede’s, happiness. Which it is! But he still has the self-worth of a wet paper towel. He doesn’t value himself at all, and so he can’t imagine being so important to another person that his absence would devastate them like that.

[tomanpeach]

the rindou whisperer – reader x rindou

a/n: this is not very proofread bc i wrote it kinda quick so apologies if anything is very unhinged or messy LMAO listen besties nobody asked for this but i had no choice!!! i was reading these bonten hcs earlier and the writer said at the end that they HATED RINDOU????? and i took that personally bc i am in a civil union w his brother so i made this as an apology to rindou for the behavior of my peers please leave him some love in the reblogs enjoy xoxoxo

summary: rindou has a bad day but do not fear, you are here!!!! just some mfn annoying sweet bf rindou

content: mentions of alcohol and lots of cursing i'm sorry bout that!!!

word count: 1k (1,001 to be exact how crazy lol)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

you brace yourself at the door to rindou's apartment on the top floor. after work you had excitedly texted him asking if he wanted to get dinner to celebrate the start of the weekend, or if he'd like you to pick something up and come over. the response you received was: "idk i had a shit fuckin day come over if you want"

you decide to use the key he had given you instead of knocking and risking incurring rindou's wrath, especially since he'd already told you he was in bad mood.

rindou was like a wild animal sometimes, when he felt angry or scared or cornered, he lashed out. but, after nine months of dating him, you liked to think that you had become a master in dealing with his frequent mood swings and unpredictability. you were the fucking rindou whisperer.

once you're inside the apartment, you spot him lying on the couch with one arm draped over his eyes. he's so still you aren't sure if he's even awake. you watch him intently as you shut the front door, searching for any sign that he's heard you come in.

he huffs out a sigh. so far so good.

before you say a word you head straight to his kitchen and get a beer from the fridge for him. "i don't want that," he calls from the couch behind you, following the sound of the refrigerator door closing.

"maybe it's for me," you reply simply. he says nothing.

you kick off your shoes and climb onto the couch, folding yourself neatly to fit in the space between his outstretched legs. his arm falls away from his face so he can scowl at you.

"do you have to sit so fucking close?"

"yeah, i do," you spit back, narrowing your eyes at him.

despite growing up being on seemingly equal footing with his older brother, he still managed to feel like he was living in his shadow. ran was older, taller, and more assertive. he knew how to be charming and funny and how to get shit done. people liked and respected him but more importantly, they feared him.

rindou longed to be seen like his brother was. he fought, he killed, he strategized, and as he and ran climbed the ranks of the tokyo delinquent scene, he reveled in the respect his subordinates were forced to show him. and, once he realized they were afraid of him, he reveled in that, too.

but rin realized how much it had gone to his head when he met you. it had been infuriating to speak to you. you weren't a member of bonten, or any gang for that matter. you weren't involved in his world at all. and as such, you didn't have to show him the same forced respect that he expected from everyone else. you talked back, you teased him, you dared to challenge him, and he fucking hated it for a while. but for some reason, it was humbling for him. it brought him back down to earth. so he kept seeing you and pretty soon, the way you acted around him became grounding. sometimes, it was honestly kind of sexy.

"sit up," you pat his thigh. "come on."

your stubborn boyfriend stares back at you without moving. you wonder just how difficult he's going to be today.

"rin," you let yourself whine the tiniest bit, frowning at him.

with a melodramatic eyeroll he plants his hands on the couch cushions and lifts himself up. because of how you chose to sit on the couch, you're practically in his lap once he's seated upright.

"i still don't want the fuckin' beer," he snarls. now it's your turn to roll your eyes. you take a sip and push it into his hands. he places it onto the table.

"why was your day shit?" you ask, tucking some lavender strands of hair out of his face. he shakes his head to deter you, "i don't want to talk about it. just generally shitty."

"would all the chinese food i brought you from that spot you love down the street help at all?"

the corner of his mouth turns up the slightest bit as he exhales through his nose in something resembling a laugh.

"oh, there he is," you say fondly, stroking his cheek. he leans into the touch, telling you that the big angry gang boss part of him was slowly losing steam. you lean in to kiss his cheek. he places a hand behind your head, holding you there next to his face and turning so your lips meet his own.

he presses his forehead against yours and mumbles a quiet, "sorry... for being a dick."

"you're not a dick," you cup his cheek and kiss him once more. "you just had a bad day. nothing i haven't seen before."

"you see it a lot, though," he sighs heavily, seeking out your hands with his in your lap.

"i don't mind."

"how?" he pulls away, grimacing.

"because i'm in love with you, stupid."

rindou smiles again, sheepish and genuine, at the way you say it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. his charming smile, the way he's looking at you. you know he's feeling better.

you reach for him and he lets you hug around his middle and lay him back. now you're both horizontal on the couch, your cheek to rindou's chest. he feels comforted by the weight of your body against his.

"is today still shit?" you ask teasingly when he starts to run his hands up and down your back.

"shut up."

"fuck you, you feel better now. be sweet to me."

"today isn't shit now that you're here," he mumbles quietly. "everything's a lot better when you're around."

"and you love me?"

"yeah, i love you."

and despite the big goofy grin on his face, and the fact that you can't actually see his face at all, you're sure that he's rolling his eyes.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Bagels and Bites

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Synopsis: Sebastian likes to flirt with you in interviews

Masterlist

It all started when you met him on The Late Late Show.

“How are you all feeling tonight?” James asked you and Sebastian Stan as you sat on the guest couch.

“I’m excited.” You beamed as Sebastian rested his arm on the couch behind you.

“So am I. We should probably talk about this later,” Sebastian smiled directly at you, “but we’ve been wanting to meet each other for a long time.”

“Have you?” James chuckled.

“No.” You laughed and playfully hit Sebastian in the chest. “We had one interaction on Twitter and he thinks there’s something between us.”

“It was a very flirty interaction.” Sebastian clarified. “There were sparks flying all over those tweets.”

“So this is your first time actually meeting?” James asked. “Even though you’re in the marvel movies together?”

“It’s weird. I haven’t met half the cast.” You shrugged. “I’ll meet everyone else once the press tour starts but so far I’ve only met the people I’ve filmed with. Just Chris, and Chris, and um, oh yeah. Chris.”

You looked down and smiled to yourself when you heard Sebastian laughing at your joke. Even though you’d never met him, you’d always liked him. It was a well known secret on the Internet that you were his celebrity crush, since he was so inclined on bringing it up in almost every interview of his. Being face to face for the first time now, you were feeling a little intoxicated from his charm. Well, his charm and the white wine you’d been sipping on.

“I hope they stop putting me with Mackie and start putting me with Y/n once this press tour starts.” Sebastian said after taking a sip of his wine. “I love him but I can’t keep babysitting him at 8 in the morning. I’d like to wake up to someone who looks a little more like this one.”

“I know what you mean.” You agreed. “He would show up to set every morning all ready to go and I’m like dude, give me a few hours for my personality to arrive.”

“I was so mad that he got to film with you and I didn’t.” Sebastian shook his head. “We finally get cast in a movie together and we’re never in the same scene.”

“Well,” you put your hand on his knee and patted it, “we’re meeting now. Lucky you.”

“Yeah.” He smirked at you. “Lucky me.”

“Now, Sebastian.” James reminded you both that he was there. “I heard a rumor that you have a little crush on Y/n.”

“Well, I try not to pay attention to rumors.” Sebastian waved his hand. “But that ones pretty accurate.”

“Oh my God.” You put your hand over your heart, which was about to beat out of your chest, and laughed.

“It’s true. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but I feel like I’ve seen you all my life. And here you are in person and you look so great.” Sebastian said through a shy smile. You laughed in shock at his compliment and looked down at your lap.

“You’re fully going for it.” James laughed at how bold Sebastian was being.

“You’re not being a very good wingman.” You teased James as you took a long sip of your drink. The more alcohol you had in you, the easier it would be to flirt with the incredible attractive man next to you.

“I was never known for that.” James agreed. “But I heard your brother is a pretty good one, isn’t he?”

“Oh My God.” You groaned, knowing exactly what James was referring to. “He’s not.”

“What happened?” Sebastian wondered, never taking his eyes off you.

“I took my brother to the Oscars with me last year and we happened to be sitting next to Jake Gyllenhaal.” You explained. “And the whole night, he’s telling Jake about how I used to be in love with him when I was a kid. If there weren’t a bunch of cameras around us, I would’ve rung his neck.”

“So I’m assuming you and Jake aren’t the next celebrity power couple?” James teased.

“We are not.” You shook your head. “I can confidently say that I was still single.”

“I was just gonna and say, there’s still hope for us.” Sebastian gestured between the two of you. You opened your mouth in shock before biting down on your tongue. You playfully hit Sebastian again, signally that you were just as interested as he was.

“You’re really going for it.” James pointed out. “I must say, wow.”

“Why not?” Sebastian grinned. “This is the time.”

“You are pretty cute, I just wanna say.” You flirted back for the hell of it. Sebastian laughed in surprise before covering his face with his hands. You laughed as well as he hunched over to hide his face.

“He’s actually gone red now!” James pointed at him. “He was so sure of himself and now he’s all red.”

“Leave him alone.” You pouted as you rubbed Sebastians back. Sebastian sat back up and rubbed his face with his hands.

“Yeah.” Sebastian said assertively as he wrapped an arm around you. “Leave me alone. I’m trying to flirt here.”

“How would you ask her on a date, then?” James asked. “Since you’re so in love with her.”

“Like this.” Sebastian said as he turned to you “Ce faci?”

“Would you bite me in the neck?” You asked, catching him completely off guard. He took his arm away and laughed in shock at your words.

“Oh my God.” He chuckled as he looked around in embarrassment. Suddenly, he turned back to you and cupped one side of your face, tilting your neck slightly with his hand. He bit down on your exposed neck, making the audience erupt in a series of laughter and gasps. You giggled when you felt his scruff tickling your neck and made no effort to push him off.

“He actually did it.” James looked at the audience to see if they were seeing what he was.

“She asked me to.” Sebastian rolled his eyes playfully. His arm was still around you and neither of you wanted it off.

“It was a hypothetical but I guess I know my answer.” You shrugged as you leaned back on the couch.

“Why would you ask him that?” James wondered.

“Like a vampire.” You explained. “Aren’t vampires from Romania?”

“That’s Transylvania.” Sebastian smiled fondly at you.

“Oh.” You realized. “I still liked it.”

“I’ll do it again later.” Sebastian shrugged, making your hide your face in embarrassment.

“Promise?” You said suddenly as you put your hand back on his knee. It was Sebastians turn to be baffled as he put his free hand on tops of yours.

“Darling.” He choked out, too stunned to form a full sentence.

“This has been an intense experience.” James fans himself with his cards. “What will the two of you do after the show?”

“I’ll probably go home, order a pizza, and pass out while watching all of Sebastian’s episodes of Once Upon a Time.” You joked.

“I was going to do the exact same thing.” Sebastian nodded. “Right after I got a job as a pizza delivery boy so I can go to Y/n’s house.”

“Or you could just come over.” You shrugged, making Sebastian blush.

“I like that idea too.” Sebastian replied.

“I’m trying to imagine what the poor pizza delivery boy is gonna see when he arrives at Y/n’s house later.” James grimaced, making the audience laugh.

“I know, right? They open the door and this is what the get.” Sebastian gestured to you. “It’s you. How lucky they are.”

You leaned into him as you laughed, the alcohol making you feel bolder than usual. You’d never be this flirty with a man you’d just met, but he made it too easy.

The rest of the interview continued in a similar fashion, with you and Sebastian unapologetically flirting with each other every chance you got. By the end of the interview, you were so close that your knees were touching. When it came time to say goodbye, you felt an unexpected pane of sadness.

“Well, thank you both for coming on the show tonight.” James smiled. “I hope I’ll be invited to the wedding.”

“You will. And I wanted to thank you. For this.” Sebastian said as he slipped his fingers through yours and held up your hands. You beamed and squeezed his hand, fully tipsy now the the interview was over.

After thanking James and drinking another glass of wine, you drunkenly pulled Sebastian off the couch.

“Come in the photo booth with me.” You giggled as you tugged him by the hand towards the booth.

“Okay.” He grinned as he climbed inside. He pulled you into his lap and pressed the button before wrapping his arms around your waist. The pictures began to snap away and you posed for all of them. For the first, you just held each other close and smiled. For the second, he leaned up to kiss your cheek. And for the third, he took another bite of your neck.

“That tickles.” You giggled as the camera flashed.

“Good.” He smirked against your skin before pressing a kiss there.

“Stick your tongue out.” You told him, and he obliged. You licked his tongue as the fourth picture was taken, capturing the drunken moment. The fifth flash went off right as Sebastian connected your lips to his. You continued to kiss him, tasting the alcohol on his lips and tongue.

“Oh my God.” You pulled away suddenly. “I have to pee.”

You got off his lap and ran to the restroom, leaving him alone in the photo booth.

The next time you saw Sebastian, neither of you brought the kiss up. Whether you thought the other was too drunk to remember or you were simply too embarrassed to bring it up, it was not mentioned.

The flirting, however, the flirting continued.

~

“What would you like to see for your characters in the next movies?” The journalist asked you and Sebastian as you sat together in a press junket.

“For our characters specifically, I’d like to see some graphic love making.” Sebastian said seriously. “I think that that’s something the movies have been lacking.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed and shook your head. “Me too, actually. I think it would be really in character and important to the plot.”

“How would that benefit the plot?” The journalist asked.

“It’s simple. I would just change my name to “the plot” and bam.” Sebastian clapped his hands. “I’m benefited.”

“He’s such a flirt.” You said as you rested your elbow on his shoulder. “Can you believe him?”

“I can’t.” The journalist chuckled.

“You know what I’d like to see? Some method acting. Why can’t you be as quiet as Bucky?” You teased Sebastian as you flicked his ear.

“How would I tell you how pretty you are if I wasn’t speaking?” He flirted back.

“This is what I have to put up with.” You shook your head as looked at the camera. “What about you? What do you want to see from our characters?”

“I would like to see Bucky do the knife trick some more.” The journalist answered you.

“What knife trick?” You wondered.

“It’s the thing he does when he flips his knife around and stabs people.” Sebastian explained as he moved his hand in a circle. “It took me forever to learn.”

“Wait, I wanna see it.” You smiled excitedly and turned to him.

“No, no.” He wagged his finger at you. “I’m not doing the knife trick.”

“Please?” You pouted. “For me?”

“All right, all right.” Sebastian broke into a grin. “I’m only doing this because you asked nicely.”

The journalist handed him a pen and he easily flipped it around and caught it before making a stabbing motion. You let out a gasp and stared at him in shock for a long time.

“What’s wrong?” He asked you.

“I wanna to fuck you, that’s what’s wrong.” You replied. “Can you do it again?”

Sebastian laughed at your joke as his face heated up. He knew that was just the way you two liked to tease each other, but it didn’t mean it didn’t make him smile.

“I’ll do it again.” He nodded as picked the pen back up. “Anything for you.”

~

On a day where the interviews ended early, you spent the night in Sebastians hotel room, getting drunk on his balcony.

“What about you?” Sebastian asked as he took a sip of his beer. “What was your best kissing scene? I know you’ve kissed some pretty great actors. Might be hard to pick.”

“It’s not. I hate kissing actors.” You grimaced. “It’s not even kissing. It’s just like, limp lips on limp lips. There’s no passion when it’s for a scene. I hate it.”

“Maybe you’re just kissing the wrong actors.” Sebastian shrugged playfully as he gazed at you.

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head. “I’ve never felt anything when kissing another actor. You can’t tell me you do.”

“I do.” He shrugged again. “Its not much, but I wouldn’t say it’s nothing.”

“What? How?” You wondered. “If you kissed me right now, you wouldn’t feel anything. I guarantee it.”

“I think I would.” Sebastian disagreed.

“All right.” You turned your chair a little to face him. “Prove me wrong.”

Sebastian tweaked an eyebrow up before leaning in to kiss you. You kissed him back for a few seconds before pulling away. You looked past him for a minute as you mulled the moment over in your head.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly.

“I was incorrect.” You chuckled a little. “I guess I did feel something.”

“I told you you would.” He said smugly. “I knew you’d feel something.”

“How’d you know?” You whined as he basked in the glory of being right.

“Because I felt something the last time we kissed.” He said simply. “And I knew you did too.”

“I didn’t realize you remembered that.” You smirked before talking a sip from his beer.

“Course I do.” He replied. “I think about that night all the time. It was the start of a beautiful, sexually frustrating friendship.”

“Oh, I’m sexually frustrating?” You laughed. “Try being your friend. It’s hard to look at you, really.”

“That’s not how I feel about you.” He smiled a little. “I really, really like looking at you.”

“I like you too.” You smiled back.

“That’s not what I said.” He teased. You dropped your jaw and stole his beer again, taking a long sip as you held eye contact.

“It’s what you meant.” You stuck your tongue out at him. You sat in comfortable silence for a minute, listening to the chirps of the crickets as a warm breeze wafted through the air.

“The press tour is ending soon.” You said quietly as you adverted your eyes. “Tomorrow’s the premier. Then, it’s all over.”

“I know.” He said softly. You looked at him and gave him a sad smile, to which he returned.

“We won’t get to see each other every day anymore.” You pointed out.

“Then we better make tomorrow count.” He said simply. He knew what you were implying, that there was no point in starting something when you’d both been going home soon, but he didn’t want to think about that. He just wanted to enjoy his last few days with you.

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly and looked away again. “We better.”

~

The following night at the premier, you felt an overwhelming sadness knowing that it was all ending. You loved the weeks you’d spent goofing off with Sebastian, even if it never led to a real relationship. It still meant something to you, and you hoped it meant something to him.

To counteract your sadness, you sat with Chris Evans at the bar and let him distract you. After spending a minute with him, you were feeling drunk and ready to find Sebastian. You spotted him on the red carpet, fixed your dress, and went up to him.

“Hi.” You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You smiled up at him as he wrapped an arm around you, taking an usually loud whiff of his cologne.

“Hey.” He chuckled as he patted your back. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good.” You said as you swayed a little. “Question, is there alcohol in a Shirley Temple? Because I feel like I’ve had alcohol.”

“There is.” He laughed again and steadied you. “Did you know that?”

“Nope.” You sniffed him again. “You smell good.”

“Oh no.” He smiled as your behavior. “How many did you have?”

“I was having a contest with Evans to see who could drink more. I had like 5.” You bragged as you almost fell over.

“Oh dear.” He quickly caught you. “You’re staying with me tonight. I don’t trust drunk you.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to babysit me.” You waved your hand and tried to walk away. You instantly stumbled and neatly fell, but Sebastian wrapped his arms around you and caught you.

“I think I do.” He chuckled as you put you on your feet. “Come on. You’re sticking with me.”

~

The next morning, you woke up with a throbbing headache. Not feeling the strength to sit up, you opened a single eye and looked around. You were definitely not in your own room, but you recognized who’s room you were in.

“Good morning.” Sebastians voice was usually loud, making you wince.

“Oh God.” You groaned as you sat up. You groggily opened your eyes as Sebastian handed you a cup of coffee.

“Here.” He smiled shyly. “How’s the head?”

“The head is in pain.” You groaned. “So is the rest of the body.”

“Here. Drink this.” He held out a glass of water and some Advil. “And take these.”

“Thanks.” You smiled sheepishly as you accepted his offerings.

“Did you at least win the drinking contest?” He asked as he took a seat on the bed. You took a long sip of water and swallowed the pills before answering his questions.

“I did.” You nodded. “But at what cost?”

“You’ll start to feel better once you get some food in you.” Sebastian said as he rubbed your shoulder. You put your hand over his and stared at him, feeling the guilt set in.

“I’m sorry I got drunk.” You mumbled. “I didn’t mean to ruin the last night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Sebastian shook his head. “Trust me, we still had fun. I’m not sure how much you remember though.”

“I remember sitting with you at the premier.” You recalled. “And eating many, many bagels.”

“Yeah, we stopped at a bakery.” He chuckled. “You ate a dozen. I watched it all.”

“Oh God.” You covered your face with your hands. “That’s not how I wanted to spend our last night together.”

“How did you want to spend it together?” He asked quietly.

“Probably in a way that still ended with me waking up in your bed.” You joked like you usually did. “But I could do without the part where you watched me eat 12 bagels.”

“What do you mean?” He grinned. “That was the best part.”

“How’d I end up in your bed anyway?” You asked before taking another sip of coffee.

“You threw your key card at a seagull who was eyeing your bagel.” He explained. “You couldn’t get into your room so I let your crash in mine.”

You looked around the room and saw his pull out couch was topped with pillows and sheets, evidence of him sleeping there.

“Did you sleep on the pull out?” You pointed to it in disbelief.

“Of course I did.” He shrugged.

“Such a gentleman.” You scrunched your nose at him before finishing the coffee.

“Basic human decency is not exactly being a gentleman.” He pointed out.

“Maybe not.” You agreed. “But you still are one. You prove that to me everyday.”

“That must be why you like me so much.” He teased.

“Must be.” You dished it right back. Sebastians smile fell suddenly as he got a serious look on his face.

“I think you and I need to have a talk.” He said softly.

“Oh God.” You feared. “Did I puke on you last night?”

“No.” He chuckled. “It’s not about last night.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“As much as I love flirting with you, and I do, I think you should know it’s not just a joke to me.” He began. “And I wanted to know if it was just a joke to you or if-“

“It’s not.” You said a little too quickly, which made him smile. “I...I like you. A lot, actually. One might even call it love.”

Upon hearing this, Sebastian leaned forward to kiss you. You held a hand to stop him and gave him an apologetic look.

“I wouldn’t.” You grimaced. “My morning breath is-“

“-something I could get used to.” He cut you off before going in for the kiss. You immediately kissed him back, pulling him by his shirt to have him closer. He climbed over you as you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I don’t care if its our last day.” He mumbled against your lips. “I want to do this for real. I wanna be with you.”

You kissed him back to tell him you felt the same way, not trusting yourself to say something smooth in the heat of the moment.

“Wait.” You pushed him back suddenly and held him away from you.

“Whats wrong?” He asked as he hovered over you.

“Can we get bagels after this?” You asked seriously before breaking into a smile.

“I seriously can’t stand you.” He said before leaning down to kiss you again. “You’re lucky I love you because I don’t like you at all.”

“12 wasn’t enough.” You giggled between kisses. “I need more. I crave them. I crave the yeast.”

Sebastian stopped kissing you for a moment and looked at you with a fond expression. You stared back at him as a content smile tugged at your lips. The flirting had finally lead to something more and neither of you could be happier.

“You know, you might actually be more annoying than Mackie.” He teased you before leaning down to kiss your neck.

“Shut up.” You laughed. “Shut up and bite me in the neck.”

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[yandere-sins]

Past and Future

Horrortober Day 2: Decision  |  “It’s your decision. Choose wisely.”

Day 2 woop! Got a chance to work on my Kazuha a bit more. I hope to write for him more in the future!

Warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Possessiveness, Stalking Mention Characters: Kadehara Kazuha x Reader

Kazuha couldn’t not notice the yearning in your gaze as you looked across the plaza at your old friends. These scumbags. Wannabe goody-two-shoes. Oh, how much he despised them. And yet, you longed for their laughter in your ears, the wrinkles in their eyes as they grinned and smiled at each other cheerfully. They were celebrating something Kazuha didn’t know about. But undoubtedly, you remembered after having been close to them since early childhood. 

And yet, you didn’t belong to their circle anymore. You hadn’t been invited to wine and laughter, food and celebration. Instead, you absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter, and Kazuha took that as a sign. “Come on,” he mumbled, watching how sadness overcame you with every passing second. Frustration and anger, but mostly disappointment, snaked their way into your expression. You had been so excited for today, going out with him, exploring Liyue Harbor with your boyfriend, but the mood was ruined now. 

When you didn’t react, Kazuha used his free arm to lay it around you, pushing you forward despite your feet being unwilling to move. Part of you wanted to go to your friends, to join them in their festivity. But without being invited, you were way too hesitant to approach, and it hurt you even more. Your head hung low as you two finally disappeared in the crowd of people working and shopping, the night market making for a great scene. Still, you couldn’t take it in anymore after remembering your past heartbreak now.

Kazuha wasn’t the type to leave you alone, never wishing to be separated from the warmth and comfort you gave him by being by his side, but in your depressed state, it was hard to do anything with you. Placing you on a bench, Kazuha left to get you something to drink. His mind was wrecking itself of how to help you as he bought your favorite, seasonal beverage, still hot and steaming in its cup, and brought it back to you. 

Unfortunately, no one heard the clattering sound as he dropped it, watching you talk with some of your old friends. When did they come over to talk? Why were they here? How did they notice you? Why now of all times? This was his evening. His time with you. And yet, you hadn’t been as happy with him all night as you were when you talked to them. Kazuha’s expression changed from worried to upset as he had to watch you laugh with them, even though the mood seemed awkward from afar. Maybe they were apologizing, or perhaps just trying to replicate the good old times with you, but you seemed very receptive to their presence, smiling in a way that you never did when you were with Kazuha. 

It had taken a lot to break you guys apart. Not willingly, but they weren’t a good influence for you. He had never done anything to them, but one day they had decided they didn’t like the way he looked at you. That Kazuha was too ‘possessive’ and that the ‘took up all your time’. They told you to stay away from the outsider, to ignore the soft, wonderful feelings you two had for each other—the strong bond you were forming with your boyfriend. Your friends decided he wasn’t good for you but were they really your friends when they made you choose between them and your love? Gods, he hated what they did to you. Hated how miserable they could make you. You had been so nervous and anxious after they started harassing you to leave him, crying at night and into his shoulder when you didn’t know what to do. The first time you said you loved him was while you were assuring him that you still had feelings for him; that being the reason why it was so hard on you to be forced to make this decision. It wasn’t a romantic moment, but one filled with tears. Kazuha would never forgive them for robbing him of his amazing confession from your lips.

However, in the end? You chose him—naturally. You chose him for this very reason. Because you love him. Kazuha never made you decide. Sure, he didn’t like your friends, but he didn’t go out of his way to engage with them. He only ever had eyes for you, following you whenever you met with your so-called friends and making sure you’d be safe from them. However, he was better than them, and even if they made you cry on your way home, he never once went back to hurt them just as much as they hurt you, even if his blood was boiling. Kazuha would rather spend his time comforting you, asserting his place in your heart, than stick to the ones who were desperately trying to tear him out of said place. 

But maybe he should have.

Maybe he should have demanded that you decide on one side. After all, you were already distancing yourself from these people that kept hurting you in the name of ‘only wanting the best for you’. He was the best for you. There was nothing that could be better for you than Kazuha. He was strong; he was safe for you. No one else tended to you as gently and lovingly as he did. Comforted you when you were down. You had to wear the burden of everyone around you, but Kazuha only committed to you and your worries. He was the saving grace and the helping hand you needed in your desperation. The person your friends should have been if you had actually mattered to them. 

In return, you were the same for him. You gave his life a meaning that he had long searched for. A new friend and a love to wake his lonely heart again. No one could ever stir him like you did, and he was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to be by your side, to warm you on cold nights, and to tell you about the past he never shared with anyone else. You were the listener he wanted; gave him the attention he needed. And Kazuha...

Kazuha wouldn’t lose you now. He couldn’t lose someone again. Not you.

Marching up to you and your friends gathering around, he listened to the meaningless conversation you had. “We’re sorry for saying such harsh things,” and “We were worried about you.” Loads of empty words, in his opinion. But seeing your eyes tear up at them made his heart sting and his blood boil all over again. It made him furious. Furious for you. You deserved so much better than these lies. They didn’t care about you!

Pushing through them without roughly, Kazuha only looked at you, finding your eyes instantly. You were surprised by his appearance but quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and returning to the silly, little smile you usually graced him with. One that was as empty as your friend’s words. One you adapted just to please him and not worry him further, but once he’d put an end to this, Kazuha knew you’d be able to smile at him properly again with a sincere one. 

“Choose,” he prompted, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion while your friends began to grow tense and murmur between themselves. 

“These people-” he made a vague gesture between the few gathered around, “-aren’t good for you, and you know it. They dropped you when you needed them the most while I’ve been with you all this time.”

“You can’t be serious,” you breathed, but Kazuha didn’t confirm your wish. He was serious, even if that meant upsetting you. This was for the best. “It’s your decision. Them or me. Choose wisely.”

“That’s unfair!” one of your friends cried out, upset about his intention, and Kazuha looked at them sharply from the corner of his eye, silencing them effectively. “It’s not unfair,” he shut their argument down, looking only at you as he spoke. “They made you choose first and broke your heart. I never have and never will hurt you. But I am not so sure about the people who already did it once.”

Kazuha’s words had impact; he could see it in your eyes. You, too, remembered the bad times that felt like your heart was ripped into pieces by the people you put so much trust in. And instead, it had been him who was there, making sure you ate and drank in your troubled times, and got rest when you needed it. Even if there was no luxury in his life, he still had been a better friend than any of them. Kazuha completely missed that he suggested dropping you the same way your friends had when he made you choose. He didn’t want to believe you would choose anyone over him after all he did for you. You belonged to him, and he belonged to you. That’s how love worked. 

“I love you.” 

A dirty trick. One that your friends couldn’t use. Kazuha directly pulled at your heartstrings, making you miss a breath as you grew even more blindsided. “I don’t want to lose you, again,” he didn’t hesitate to add, noticing how your friends’ faces grew worried and upset at his words. He was hinting at the bad time you two had gone through. The one that made a part of you die. But you only looked down, hands balling into fists as you felt conflicted. There was no need for you to wreck your pretty head over these nobodies, Kazuha decided, holding out his hand. You only needed him—as much as he needed you. 

Timidly, you reached for his hand, and he gripped yours tightly, pulling you up from your seat and after him, away from these fake friends and their fake worry without another word to them. “It’s better like this,” he assured you, dragging you through the crowd so you wouldn’t be able to look back at your past. He was before you, your future, and he wouldn’t let anyone take you from him and ruin this for you. 

But when you were unresponsive, he threw a glance back over his shoulder, noticing the tears streaming down your eyes. You two came to a stop as he turned around, cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss. Even though your hands came to rest against his chest, pushing, you never managed to escape his grip, forced to kiss him until neither of you could hold your breath anymore. Leaning his forehead against yours, you were left speechless, but not Kazuha.

“I love you. I love you so much. Promise me you’ll never go back to them.” It was hard to commit to that, but his hands grew tighter around your face, desperate to hear it. “You chose me,” he insisted, pain swinging in his voice. “You’re not leaving me.”

There was no way of saying where those emotions came from, but he didn’t give you time to think them over. This was the future he chose, by your side. And that night, you chose it too, even if you ended up not liking it once you found out that your friends had been right all along.

[sugawaraxo]

DOING THE GIVING HEAD PRANK ON THE KARASUNO BOYS (PT.2)

warnings: kinda smutty

characters: shoyo hinata, tobio kageyama, daichi sawamura, koshi sugawara, ryu tanaka, asahi azumane, kei tsukishima, yu nishinoya, tadashi yamaguchi   

find pt.1 here

hinata

- hinata asks you to help him practice spiking since you’re actually pretty decent at setting, despite you not playing volleyball

- it’s not your favorite thing to do, but you help him because he’s your boyfriend and you love him

- but you figured if he was gonna force you to set for him for hours on end, you would at least have some fun with it 

- you purposely mess up a set so that it lands nicely right in between you and him

- you knew he’d try and pick it up, so you just had to be faster 

- before he could get the ball, you were already kneeling down so you could pick it up

- now your short boyfriend looks a bit taller, hovering over you in your spot on the floor

- he looks down at you as if he’s waiting for you to get up, but you don’t

- instead you move your head terribly close to his crotch and smile

- “i- y/n? you, you wanna do that here? in the gym? anyone can walk in.” he says nervously  

- you giggle at his adorableness 

- “no bub, i’m just picking up the ball.” you say

- he immediately goes red 

- “hey! you know what you were doing.” he pouts

- you just laugh and give him a kiss on the cheek before continuing to set to him

- and since you feel bad, you give him a little treat when you get home ;)

sugawara

- he’s typing away on his computer, writing an essay that’s due the next day

- the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table, him typing and you eating

- his brows are furrowed in concentration, he looks stressed

- and that sparks an idea in your head 

- somehow you manage to sneak your way under the table without him noticing

- he’s just THAT concentrated

- and you find yourself in between his legs

- he jumps at the sudden feeling of someone pressing themselves up against him

- he glances under the table at you and chuckles

- “y/n, why are you under the table? what are you- oh.” sudden realization hits your boyfriend last minute and he raises his eyebrows

- “are you trying to give me a blowjob? because i could use one right about now.” he sighs as he sits back, waiting for you to take over

- you felt bad deceiving him like this, knowing how much he would enjoy being relieved by you right now

- but you carry through with your plan

- you move your hands that were placed on his legs up and down his thighs lightly before bending down

- he closes his eyes, anticipating for you to unbutton his pants or something

- but instead you come back up with a pencil in hand

- “just getting this pencil that you dropped for you.” you smile as you hand him the pencil and sit back down in your chair

- he just looks you up and down in amusement and you laugh

- “hm, laugh all you want. it’s funny that you think you’re gonna get away with this.” he smirks 

- and suddenly you’re quiet

-knowing damn well that when suga is done with that essay, you’re done for

tanaka

- you and tanaka are friends special friends

- friends with benefits if you will

- you guys are always hanging out with each other, and every once in awhile, you get a little frisky

- so it’s not unusual for you to just get on your knees and suck tanaka off whenever you please

- he enjoys it

- you enjoy it

- it’s a win win

- but you’ve never not gone through with it, so you can’t wait to see his reaction when you trick him

- the two of you are in the car, going to get some food

- he’s driving and you’re sitting in the passenger seat, plotting your prank

- he’s in the middle of telling you a story that quite frankly has lost your interest, so you decide that now is the perfect time

- you begin putting your hair up in a messy bun, and he gives you a look

- he knows exactly what that bun is for

- “oh shit. road head?” he smirks and is clearly getting excited

- you say nothing, just lean over towards him and he moves his arm so you could have better access

- you fidget around with his pants, him not being able to look at you because his eyes are focused on the road, before finding what you were looking for

- “aha, got it.” you say as you pull his wallet out of his pocket

- “mind if i borrow a dollar?” 

- “are you serious?” he looks at you all frowned up, his tone half disappointed and half confused

- you start laughing at him and he just grunts

- “i really thought i was finally gonna get some road head.” he pouts

- “oh what a big baby, you’ll get over it” you tease

- “fine, no food for you.” he retaliates 

- “wait no, i take it back.”

- “then suck.” he orders, gesturing to his member and you happily oblige 

tadashi

- you know that tadashi has a crush on you

- like a huge crush

- but he doesn’t know that you know

- so you use this knowledge against him

- you tutor him every wednesday because he struggles a bit with chemistry

- ironically enough 

- and you can’t help but notice how flustered he gets around you 

- so you being the terrible person you are, plan to use this against him 

-and he just made it so easy for himself

- he accidently spilled some of the food he was eating in his lap but hasn’t noticed, so you began executing your plan

- “hey tadashi, stand up.” you say somewhat assertively

- “why?” he questions

- “just stand up”

- he submissively follows your instruction

- “i don’t understand what you want me to stand for. is the supposed to help-”

- he notices where your eyes are focused, right on his crotch and he immediately blushes 

- “oh, y/n...i’ve never done this before. you can do it, but i-i’m a little nervous.”

- your heart SINKS 

- he’s so precious

- and now you feel guilty, so you kind of go along with it rather than tricking him

- “well umm, you just made a mess on your lap. i wanted to know if you’d let me help get it off.” you say softly

- he looks down at himself then back to you and nods with a shy “yeah”

- you lightly brush the mess off his crotch with your hand, but even just that light touch makes him tense up

- after that you end up tutoring him in something neither of you expected you to

nishinoya

- nishinoya LOVES going down on you

- like that’s definitely up there on his top ten list of things he loves most in this world

- but even more than that

- he LOVES when you go down on him 

- shit absolutely destroys him and you love it because usually, he’s the one destroying you 

- so when you see a tiktok of this trend, you absolutely HAVE to try it

- you start as soon as you wake up

- positioning yourself as if you’re about to give him head, but just end up grabbing the remote on the dresser beside him instead 

- he rolls his eyes but says nothing in response, so you do it again later 

- you’re both in the pantry, looking for snacks

- you slowly go down on your knees and he prepares himself again

- but you just grab a bag of chips from the bottom shelf and stand up

- he huffs at you and rolls his eyes again, but still no response which makes you laugh but also makes you somewhat frustrated 

- you try for the third and final time but before you could even go through with it, he places his hand on your neck and pushes you up against the wall

- “you think i don’t know what you’re doing? your little tiktok prank? well it’s not gonna slide baby, you’re not gonna get away with teasing me like that.” he smirks 

- you gulp

- uh oh

- nishinoya usually isn’t very rough 

- but every once in awhile something sets him off, like you just did 

- and you just know you aren’t gonna be able to walk tomorrow 

- you were right 

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Heat Up

Pairing :: Rick Flag x short/petite fem!Reader

Warnings :: 18+ Content, NSFW/SMUT, Size Kink

Word Count :: 2,439

Summary :: Rick isn’t too happy Digger tries to tease you

A/N :: I was gonna make a fic about someone else, but then I saw The Suicide Squad trailor and goddamn Joel Kinnaman. I love that tall beautiful bastard. Also, I’m not super happy about the title, but it was all I could come up with, meh

As Amanda Waller’s assistant, you had to deal with a lot daily. It wasn’t just about making sure she got her black coffee right when she walked into the building and managing her scheduled meetings. You had to ensure everything, and one, was in order for her. If someone told you they were running late, you forced them to be on time. You carefully inspected each report and corrected them before turning them into Waller. You got her any top-secret document she needed and kept it hidden. Hell, you even helped her with Task Force X, going through the list of criminals and writing down a thorough analysis of each potential member’s abilities.

Despite working for a woman who was heartless and calculating, you were as timid as a mouse. You rarely spoke to others unless you needed to. After working for Waller for several years, you found it best not to make any personal relationships with the people you met. She warned you most didn’t last very long and very few could be trusted.

One person who had stuck around though and  Waller seemed to even trust Colonel Rick Flag. You two started working for her around the same time, and yet, you could barely hold a conversation with the man. 

When you first met him, you constantly felt overwhelmed whenever you were left alone with him. It didn’t help that he appeared rather intimidating, with a serious expression almost always on his face, and towered over you. He was 6’2’’, and even in your favorite pumps, which added a good three inches to your height, you were still, smaller than him in frame.

However, regardless of your inability to speak around him, he continuously tried to start conversations with you and be friendly towards you. His constant attempts helped you grow used to him, but your face always heated up and you grew ridged when he got too close when you were alone. You didn’t understand the feeling, nor did you didn’t hate the feeling. It confused you.

-

Rick was absolutely perplexed by your meek behavior, especially since he’d witness before how assertive you could get when it came to getting something done for your shared boss. 

So it was no wonder he worried about you whenever Waller brought you along to see the Task Force X members. They were psychotic criminals, and you were like a slab of meat to some of them. You almost always wore a skirt or dress with a pair of pumps or oxford flats. Rick would be lying if he said you didn’t look perfect every hour of the day. 

He used to wonder if you were actually as innocent as you acted outside of work. Then, he saw you run as fast as you possibly could when Harley tried to give you what she called ‘wholesome safe dating advice’.

Since then, Rick did his best to make sure you were at least arm’s length away from any psycho. He even went as far as stepping right in front of you when someone got too close. Somehow, standing either beside you or a bit in front of you had become a habit of his when he noticed you were uncomfortable. 

Like now.

-

Waller sent you and Rick to a hidden ARGUS base hidden in the woods. Rick was obviously there to lead the team. You were there to give them their mission and an extensive overview.

There was a row of chairs for each Task Force X member to sit in. You stood in front of them with a large screen behind you, displaying various diagrams and photos for the mission. Rick stood off to the side, just behind all the seated members.

You looked away from your presentation, the projector turning off and the lights on. “So, are there any questions?”

Harley’s hand shot up. “Did you want me to continue giving you dating advice now or would you prefer I write it all down and give it to you later?”

Your eyes squinted and your lips curved downward just a bit. “What- no. That has nothing to do with the missions and I don’t need your advice…” Your voice trailed off, at a loss on how to deal with Harley.

Rick took a step forward. “Harley, stop it,” He warned her.

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Fine, but only because I think someone has a major crush on you (Y/N) and I wanna see if he makes a move.”

You were silent for a moment, processing what she had said before your eyes widened upon realization. Surprised, you couldn’t stop yourself from confirming what you had heard. “What did you say?”

“Nothing!” She sang, springing up from her seat.

“Hold on, now I’m interested too,” Floyd chimed in. “Now just who do you think it is that has a crush on lil ol’ (Y/N). I mean, no offense,” He glanced at you before turning his head back to Harley, “but she’s too skittery.”

Digger hopped up from his seat, shaking his head. “Nah mate, that adds on to her appeal.”

He started walking towards you and instinctively you started to back away until your back was against the wall. As he was getting closer, Digger’s hand started to extend, reaching out for you.

“See, it makes it fun to try and catch her.”

You shut your eyes, ready to scream the second he dared touching you. Instead of feeling what you thought would be cold dirty fingers, you heard Digger begin to plead.

“Woah! I was only joking around! Let me go!”

Eyes now wide, you saw Rick hoisting the Aussie up in the air by the collar of his shirt. If looks could kill, Digger’s head would be gone. 

“What are the rules?” He asked in a cold tone.

“No escaping and no disobeying,” Digger said quickly.

“Oh! Also no annoying or vexing you!” Harley added.

Rick still held Digger up. “And?”

Confused, Digger looked at Floyd for help who nodded his head towards you. “And-and no touching or teasing (Y/N)?”

Rick released Digger, throwing him towards the door. “Everyone out. We leave at zero one hundred hours.”

All of the criminals walked out of the room. Rick followed to make sure the door was closed once they were out, and locked the door.

You stepped away from the wall, straightening out your black pencil skirt. “Thank you for earlier Colonel Flag.”

“Rick. We’re alone,” He corrected you.

Around others at work, you addressed each other professionally: Colonel Flag and Ms. (L/N). Alone, Rick had started trying to get you used to calling him his name to be more comfortable around him.

“Right, thank you, Rick.”

You were about to clean up and reorganize your notes when you noticed Rick still seemed upset. He had the same annoyed expression he had when the criminals were around and his arms were crossed over his chest.

You cocked your head to the side. “Is something wrong?”

“What were you going to do?” He started walking forward.

“Pardon?”

“What were you going to do if he touched you?”

Your brows furrowed. Why was he asking this?  “Most likely yell at him and push him away.”

“And then?”

“And then what?” Now, you were starting to get annoyed.

Rick stopped a foot away from you, eyes piercing down at you. “What if he didn’t stop?”

“He wouldn’t dare continue.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’ll keep me safe.”

Quickly, you realized what you said and turned your head to avoid his gaze. With a blush creeping onto your cheeks, your heart started to beat faster when he took one step closer to you.

Rick gently grabbed your chin with his thumb and index, turning your head to face him. You looked up at him with your large (E/C) eyes and that odd tingling feeling started up.

“What if I’m not there to keep you safe?”

“You always are.”

Like a flip was switched, Rick suddenly knew why he constantly wanted to make sure you were always alright. You worked for a harsh realist like Waller, but still naively believed good always prevailed. He wanted to make sure you never lost the blissful joy most did when they faced the harsh reality of the world.

His head lowered towards yours until his lips were pressed softly against yours. It was a simple kiss at first. Rick was unsure of how far he could go until you gently returned the kiss. Your hands went up to his chest and he lowered to your waist to pull you closer.

Wrapped in his arms, the odd tingling feeling turned into a warm little flame. You wanted to stay held like this forever. 

When he pulled away, you lightly gripped his shirt and tugged. “Rick, I want more.”

“Are you sure, because it might be sweet now, but if we keep going-”

Without letting him finish, you pressed another kiss against his lips. Again, you two sweetly kissed for a few minutes. Then, you felt one of his hands lower down to the round of your ass. A small gasp escaped you upon being lifted, your legs wrapped around him for support. Your skirt bunched up revealing your thighs as a result.

Rick pulled away from your lips, begging to trail down kisses to your neck.

You knew what you two were doing, more importantly, where, was inappropriate. Though with your mind clouded, you didn’t care. You only wanted to make sure you two wouldn’t be disrupted.

“The-the door,” Your murmured,

“Already taken care of,” He said, lips pressed against your neck.

Rick started walking slowly, carrying you over to the row of chairs. Before he took a seat, he put you back down on your feet.

Suddenly, the world spun and you were now seated on his lap, back pressed firmly against his chest. His arms hugged you close to him while he continued to kiss your neck.

Due to your skirt bunched up, you could feel his denim jeans below you. With heat growing in you, without thinking, you started to move your hips in his lap.

A small chuckle left him. One of his arms released its hold on you to start trailing up and down the side of your thigh. “Is this why you’re always so tense when we’re alone?” His hand moved to your inner thigh, coming closer to your core.

Your hands shot up to cover your blushing face. Was this why? You never quite understood why before, but it was starting to make sense now.

Rick’s other hand pulled your hands down. When he wrapped his arm around you again, he made sure to keep your arms down as well so you couldn’t hide your face.

“Come on now, don’t be shy. It’s just us.”

“Mmm!”

You bit your lip feeling him begin to rub your clit through your damp panties. You started to squirm a bit, a clear bulge forming and pressing up against you. He pushed the fabric to the side, inserting only one finger. You moaned softly, your legs spreading open and welcoming him. 

Rick pushed in his one finger as deep as he could before pulling it completely out and sticking it back in. This time, his finger curved in you and you felt your cunt tighten. When it did, he stuck a second finger in you. His fingers pumped at a consistent pace, and you kept your moans at a low volume. 

You could feel his hardened erection through his jeans pressing firmly against you now. With his fingers still pumping, you started moving your hips along to feel his covered length.

Rick let out a quiet curse, the tightness of his jeans too much. He let go of his hold on you to unbuckle his pants and release his cock.

“I tried to get you ready, but,” He pulled his fingers out completely, both hands now gripping your hips and lifting you up, “this might still hurt a bit.”

He started lowering you down on him and your eyes widened once he had gotten just the head of his dick in. The further he pushed in, the more pain you felt, your eyes growing glossy as a result. He lowered you until you were seated on him again and he was fully filling you up.

You could feel your pussy aching and tightening around him, never being filled up this much before.

“Christ you have a tight little cunt,” Rick gritted out.

Honestly, he surprised himself you managed to take all of him in, but he knew you were in pain. He wanted to give you time to adjust to his length, even if your clenching walls were driving him mad. Though, you could tell by his tight grip on your hips, staying still was driving him mad.

To distract yourself from the pain, you turned your head back to look up at him and pulled him down for another kiss. This time, his tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring the wet space.

During the kiss, you finally started bouncing up and down in his lap. He helped guide you, keeping you at a steady pace. 

With your tight pussy squeezing around him, Rick couldn’t keep the pace you had set. He started thrusting his pelvis up and moved you down on him faster. Eventually, you were no longer in any control while he fucked you. Then, he pulled you out completely and rammed back into you, slamming you down.

“Rick!” You screamed, a sensitive spot now hit.

He did it again and again, your screams growing louder each time he hit your sweet spot. 

Each of your breaths was growing heavier, and his fast pace was now ragged. He hit you once more and your head fell back against his chest, a loud moan leaving your lips. Your cunt clenching and finally releasing around him.

With just a few more thrusts, Rick’s hips bucked into you and he held you still for one moment so he could cum inside you. You felt his cock pulse with each hot spurt in you, causing a shiver. 

After, he moved you only a few more times slowly for you each to ride out your climaxes. Once done, he pulled you off of him and stood up.

Rick wrapped an arm around your shoulder, holding you close to him as you each steadied your breathing.

“So, I take it you’ll start acting normal now when we’re alone?” He asked you.

“I’ll probably heat up thinking about this.”

“I’m fine with that too.”

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Reassurance

masterlist

part one

Summary: Spencer feels insecure, and Reader puts his worries to rest. 

A/N: I got several requests to write a follow-up to Avoidance , and after writing almost the whole entire thing, only to scrap it all because it was literal trash, here we are! I initially planned to go a different route with this, but it didn’t flow right and I ended up changing the entire plot line somewhere along the way. I really like how this turned out, and I hope you guys enjoy it, too!

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom!Reader

Content warnings: cursing, Spencer being insecure, hand job, oral sex (male receiving), anal fingering, pegging, light degradation, Spencer experiencing sub-drop

Word Count: 6k

           Spencer’s lips drag against mine at a slow, deliberate pace as I sit perched on his lap, my hands tugging lightly at where his hair curls at the nape of his neck. One particularly harsh tug has Spencer gasping into my mouth and tightening his grip on my hips, pulling me down until I’m fully sat on his lap. The bulge tenting his slacks comes in full contact with my clothed core and I hum appreciatively against his lips.

           “Getting excited there, baby?”

           Spencer lets out a whine of protest when I pull away, leaning forward in an attempt to reunite our lips. I press my hand flat against his chest and push him back until he rests against the couch cushions.

           “I thought you wanted to watch a movie tonight?” I ask him, my lips curled up into a knowing smile. Spencer’s thumbs begin to rub soothing circles into my hips as he fixes me with a shy smile.

           “Maybe later,” he replies, sheepish. He looks breathtaking - bathed in the soft glow of the lamp light, shadows dancing across every perfectly chiseled inch of his face. Faint purple bruises dot the underside of his jaw line, remnants of the last time we had been afforded enough time to get tangled up under the bedsheets. I press my thumb to one of them, applying just enough pressure to cause Spencer’s breath to hitch. In another day or two, the purple and yellow discoloration would be gone, leaving no trace of our time together.

           I release my hold on his jaw and make a mental note to see to it that he has another set of pretty marks before the weekend is over.

           “Later?” I lift the hand that was splayed across his chest until I’m able to fiddle with the top button on his dress shirt. “You talk as if you have something else you’d like to do first. Care to share?”            Spencer squirms underneath my gaze, eyes flitting between my lips and where I’m pressed firmly against his erection. I watch him flounder to come up with a response before deciding to forgo words completely and rut himself against me, eyelids fluttering closed as he lets out a low whine.

           I click my tongue at him and raise up until my center hovers over him, torturously close but not quite close enough to touch.

           “What’s the matter, Doctor? It’s not like you to be at a loss for words,” I taunt as I pop open the last three buttons of his shirt. Now that the milky white skin of his chest is on full display, I waste no time in dragging my fingernails from his collarbone down to his navel, light and teasing. The action elicits a shiver from Spencer, who looks up at me with glossy eyes and blown pupils.

           “P-Please,” he stutters out.

           “Please, what?” I prod, cocking my head to the side. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

           Spencer’s tongue pokes out to run across his bottom lip.

           “I want you,” he breathes out, low and sultry. “Now. Don’t wanna wait.”

           I let out a pleased sigh as I lean forward to capture Spencer’s lips in a heated kiss. Spencer’s quick to reciprocate, eagerly licking into my mouth as soon as my lips brush against his.

           It’s not long until I feel the hands on my waist begin to tug me back down onto his lap, eliciting a giggle from me.

           “Such a needy little thing,” I murmur against his lips.

           Usually, a comment like this would be met by some sort of mumbled affirmation. But this time, as soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel Spencer’s whole body tense up beneath me.

           “Does… Does that bother you?”

           I pull away and give Spencer an inquisitive look.

           “Does what bother me?”

           Spencer averts his eyes, “That I’m so submissive.” He spits the word out like it burns his mouth – like it’s something to be ashamed of – and I can’t suppress my frown.

           “Why would that ever bother me?”

           Spencer gives a feeble shrug of his shoulders, still refusing to pull his gaze from where it rests on the floor.

           “I read an article in Psychology Today that discussed a survey in which 172 German adults completed a personality questionnaire and then measured their own preference for a dominant partner. Not only was the general consensus that both genders prefer dominant partners, the participants also agreed with statements like ‘a very nice partner is often boring’ and ‘I feel attracted to assertive partners.’ So, it’s only natural that you might get tired of me always being such a pushover and search for a more exciting partner than can keep you stimulated-”

           I clamp my hand down on Spencer’s mouth, effectively ending his self-deprecating rant and forcing him to look up from where his eyes were burning a hole into the floor. When I know he isn’t going to try and continue down that particularly awful train of thought, I remove my hand.

           “First of all, you are not a pushover. Insinuating that you are a pushover would also be insinuating that I’m taking advantage of you. Do you feel like I’m taking advantage of you?” Spencer’s eyes grow wide and he frantically shakes his head.

           “Absolutely not. I… I love what you do to me – with me. What we do together. I-I just want to be sure that you like it to. That you’re not just humoring me until someone who can actually give you what you want comes around.”

           I feel my mouth fall open from shock somewhere during the middle of his spiel. He can’t actually be so oblivious to the fact that I enjoy the hell out of our sex life, can he?

           Apparently, he can and he is, because Spencer takes my silence as affirmation.

           “I could try? To d-dom you, that is. I’ve been reading up on it and-”

           “Spencer, where on earth did this come from?”

           Spencer blinks hard, “I told you – I read it in Psychology Today.”

           I shake my head at him and slip off of his lap and onto the couch cushion beside him.

           “No, that’s not what I meant. What made you think that I’m not happy with our sex life?”

           “N-Nothing in particular,” Spencer stammers. “I just know that I’m not exactly the most masculine guy, and I want to make sure that you’re, you know… happy. With me.”

           And there it is.

           I reach for Spencer’s hand and link our fingers together.

           “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that comment Derek made this morning, would it?” Spencer doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes drop to his lap tells me everything I need to know. I tighten my grip on his hand. “You know he was just messing with you, right? As out of line as it was, he was just being… Derek.”

           “He wasn’t wrong, though. I am extremely docile – along with a litany of other very passive traits. I’m not strong or assertive or confident like Derek; I’m basically the complete opposite of the ideal male partner. All I’m good for is spouting out information that’s only sometimes useful. No wonder you don’t want to-” Spencer clamps his mouth shut and his cheeks burn red. “Forget it. C-Can we pretend this conversation never happened?”

           “No wonder I don’t want to what?” I prod, brows furrowed in confusion. But still, Spencer refuses to meet my eyes. “And as far as all the other stuff goes, it doesn’t matter if you’re assertive or strong. I prefer my sweet, gentle boy over guys like Derek Morgan, any day. My ideal male partner just so happens to be pretty boys with curly brown hair and massive IQs, not aggressive alpha males with overinflated egos.” I bring Spencer’s hand up to my lips and place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I’m being serious, Spence. There’s a lot to love about you.”

           Spencer’s next words are hushed, so quiet that I almost don’t hear him when he says, “Then why haven’t you told anyone about us yet?”

           In the two months since our first time together, neither of us had been brave enough to broach the subject of what exactly we were doing. With neither of us quite sure how to go about defining the relationship, we’d fallen into a sort of routine. Whenever it came time to pair off for the night and retreat to our hotel rooms, Spencer and I always made sure that we were paired together. Hotch never seemed to care – he was just happy that we weren’t walking on eggshells around each other anymore - and the others were kind enough to keep their suspicions to themselves. On the weekends, or really any time that we weren’t working a case, time off was spent in each other’s company, be it at Spencer’s place or mine. Days full of impromptu adventures to farmer’s markets and niche antique shops devolved into passionate nights spent learning every inch of each other’s skin until no stone was left unturned. It was the perfect arrangement.

           Or at least it would’ve been, if Spencer and I hadn’t managed to fall half way in love somewhere along the way. It was glaringly obvious early on that it was way more than just sexual chemistry that kept us both coming back for more, but owning up to that fact was a whole other issue that neither of us was ready to deal with.

           Until now, apparently.

           “I-I mean, we haven’t talked about what exactly this is, so I wasn’t quite sure how to go about that,” I stammer. “But now that you’ve brought it up…”

           Spencer finally looks up and his eyes are filled to the brim with equal parts fear and hope.

           “I-I really want there to be an us,” he whispers. “I kind of thought that much was obvious.”

           “And I thought the fact that I have absolutely zero complaints in the bedroom was obvious, but here we are,” I tease, and Spencer lets out an involuntary giggle when I poke at his side. “I want there to be an us, too. And for what it’s worth, I like you just the way you are, Spencer Reid - just so we’re clear.”

           “Really?” Spencer persists. From anyone else, it would seem like they were fishing for compliments, but from Spencer? I knew my sweet, darling boy just needed some reassurance.

           I lean forward and capture his lips in a long, languid kiss.

           “Really really,” I mumble when I pull away. “Have I done a thorough enough job drilling that into your head, or do you need some more convincing?”

           “More convincing,” Spencer replies as he ducks in for another kiss. “Lots and lots of convincing.”

           I smile against his lips, “That’s good to hear, because I sorta had a little something special planned for you.”

           “Something special?”

           I slide my hand from its place on his knee until my fingers glide across the tip of his clothed cock.

           “Remember that thing we talked about last week?”

           I can feel the way Spencer’s cock twitches under my hand and I have to bite back a smile.

           “Y-Yeah?”

           I give his bulge a light squeeze that has Spencer moaning low in his throat.

           “Only if you want to. There’s no pressure at all. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’d be perfectly fine if you just wanna watch that movie and cuddle a bit - you know that right?”

           “Yes, but I still want to,” Spencer chokes out. “Very, very much.” And then he’s bringing a hand up to cup my face before slotting our lips together again.

           The kiss is sloppy, seeing as we’re both much too excited to worry about being precise. Spencer spends time exploring my body with his free hand, starting at my hips and then dipping underneath my t-shirt. Spencer’s hand is just shy of skimming over my bra when I pull back and he lets out a frustrated whine when I pull his hands off of me.

           “I wanna ask you a few things before we do this, okay, baby?” Spencer flushes a deep crimson as he nods. “Have you ever experimented with any sort of anal play before?”

           “N-No, I haven’t. Is that okay?”

           Spencer Reid, you are going to be the death of me.

           “That’s perfectly fine, sweet boy,” I coo. “I’m just trying to get a feel for what’s going to be the most comfortable for you. We’ll start small and work our way up, okay?” Spencer nods, prompting me to tack on an, “Assuming that you want to, that is. This is all on your terms, and I need to make sure that you know that nothing’s going to happen that you don’t expressly consent to first.”

           Spencer’s lips pull up into a sweet smile.

           “I know, and I trust you,” he says. “And I consent to it. To all of it.”

           “You’re gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that,” I chuckle. “What exactly are you consenting to?”

           Spencer shifts in his seat, “Y-You know.”

           “Yes, but I want to hear you say it, baby.”

           Spencer gulps hard, “I-I want you to fuck me. Please.”

           I let out a satisfied hum and remove my hand from Spencer’s lap.

           “I want you to go to the bedroom and take off all your clothes. Then I want you to lie in the center of the bed and if I walk in and see you touching yourself, I’ll walk right back out and I won’t touch you for a month. Are we clear?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss.”

--

           I spend much longer than necessary in the living room, sitting on the couch and scrolling through my phone for nearly ten minutes before getting up and making my way to the bedroom. The anticipation is half of the fun, in my opinion, and I take great pleasure in imagining Spencer squirming against the sheets, desperate for me to walk through that door.

           I rid myself of my skirt and blouse as I make my way down the hallway, leaving me in only my panties and bralette. I can hear Spencer’s heavy breathing before I even reach the bedroom, and it makes my stomach flip excitedly as I push open the door.

           Spencer lays in the middle of the bed, hands grabbing at the sheets as he rolls his hips in vain. His cock stands painfully hard, leaking precum and bobbing up and down with every motion of his hips. Spencer doesn’t see or hear me when I come in – his eyes are closed tight and his bottom lip is nestled between his teeth, blissfully oblivious as he ruts up into nothing.

           “It seems like my poor, needy boy has worked himself up into quite a state.”

           The sound of my voice startles him and he immediately halts the movement of his hips. Spencer’s eyes watch on and I walk over to the night stand, taking my time as I remove a bottle of lube, my harness, and the newly purchased dildo bought especially for my sweet boy.

           Spencer’s eyes linger on the silicone member, wide and curious as I set the items on the bed and crawl in between his legs. He spreads his legs without being prompted, leaving him completely exposed to me, and the action makes my heart swell with pride. My good boy has learned so much in the past two months.

           “M’gonna suck that pretty cock of yours now, and I want you to keep your hips still. Can you do that for me, baby?”

           Spencer nods frantically, “Y-Yes, Miss. Please – I need your mouth. I’ll be still, I promise.”

           I let out a pleased hum as I take him into my hand, dragging my fist up and down, spreading precum across the entirety of his length.

           “I know you will, baby. You’re always so good for me. So eager to please.”

           I lean down and begin placing kisses to the sensitive skin of his thighs, all while continuing to work my hand against him. I nip lightly at the skin above his right hip and Spencer sucks in a ragged breath when I suck a pretty purple bruise in the very same spot. It contrasts starkly with his porcelain skin, and I enjoy the way it looks so much that I continue until a plethora of love bites litter his inner thighs. When I finally sit back and admire my work, Spencer’s writhing so pitifully against the mattress that I decide to put him out of his misery.

           Spencer devolves into a whimpering mess the moment I take his tip into my mouth, his head thrashing wildly against the mattress when I swirl my tongue around him. I take my time with him, not at all rushing my descent onto his cock, choosing instead to tease him with a slow, steady pace. If Spencer minded my slower than usual pace, he didn’t say so. He was too busy choking out an unrelenting string of the most wanton moans I’d ever heard as he watched himself disappear into my mouth.

           I decide now is as good a time as any to up the ante and I pull my mouth away from him.

           “W-Why did you stop?” Spencer stutters, chest heaving up and down.

           I raise an eyebrow at him, “Are you being ungrateful, Doctor? Because if you are, I could always just leave you here like this - cock hard and leaky with no way to get off other than your own hand. That wouldn’t be nearly as fun as having me fuck that pretty little ass of yours.”

           “No, please! I’m so sorry,” Spencer mewls. “I’ll be good, just please don’t leave!”

            I loosely grasp Spencer’s cock in my hand and run my thumb across his slit.

           “You sound so pretty when you beg, baby. I can’t wait to hear how pretty you are when you’re begging for me to fuck you harder.”

           Spencer’s eyes roll back into his head and his mouth hangs open, panting hard.

           “I want it so bad. Please, please, please, Miss.”

           I use my free hand to reach up and push two fingers into Spencer’s mouth, “Suck. I want them real nice and wet so that I can use them to get you ready for me.”

           Spencer moans around my fingers, laving his tongue around the them as he hollows his cheeks. When I retract my fingers from his mouth they’re practically dripping and I reward his effort by tightening my grip on his cock.

           “Good job, baby. Are you ready for me to finger that tight little hole of yours?” I ask him as I release his cock and grab the bottle of lube. I drizzle a healthy amount onto my fingers before dragging one across his puckered hole, eliciting a high-pitched cry from Spencer.

           “Yes!” Spencer gasps as he attempts to wiggle closer. “So ready for you, Miss. Use your f-fingers on me, please!”

           I start by slowly pressing one in, so as not to overwhelm him, and to my endless delight, it glides in almost effortlessly.

           “Already so ready for my fingers, Doctor. You sure you haven’t touched yourself here before?” I ask as I begin to work my finger in and out in slow thrusts.

           “N-Never. O-Only you,” Spencer stutters out between moans. “C-Can you add another, Miss?”

           I pull my finger out, only to add another and resume my efforts at a slightly faster pace. Spencer’s back arches up off the bed when my fingers brush against his prostate and he lets out a half startled, half delighted yelp.

           “Oh fuck!” Spencer moans as he grinds down onto my fingers. “Again, please, Miss!”

I comply, and with every press of my fingers against the fleshy bundle of tissue, Spencer’s body jolts from the sensation.

           “S’that feel good, baby? Do you like how my fingers feel?”

           “Oh, God, yes! F-Feels so good. Never felt like this b-before,” Spencer sobs. “I-I’m getting close, Miss.”

           “I didn’t say that you can cum, baby. I wanna save that for when I’ve got my cock buried inside you. How’s that sound?”

           “Y-Yes, Iwantitsobad,” Spencer slurs, his words running together as he draws nearer and near to the end. “Want you to fuck me, Miss! Please, I’ll do anything-”

           I take pity on him and withdraw my fingers, which makes Spencer keen in protest.

           “Calm down, greedy boy. Just gotta get ready so I can give you what you want.”

           I crawl off of the bed and step into the harness, fastening it in place and making sure that the dildo is secure before I crawl in between his legs. Spencer watches on with rapt fascination as I pour lube into my palm and work it over the silicone cock until every inch of it glistens.

           “What’s your color, baby?” I ask as rub the tip of the cock over his hole.

           Spencer’s breath catches in his throat and his whole-body tenses with anticipation.

           “So green, Miss. So fucking green,” Spencer whimpers.

           I raise a hand up to his hip and begin to rub soothing circles into the skin there.

           “Gonna need you to relax for me, sweetheart. Can you do that?”            Spencer bites his lip and nods his head. I watch as the tension begins to melt away, and when I see him relax back into the mattress, I bring up my hand to stroke his cock. I keep my touch light, barely applying pressure – I knew if I applied too much, Spencer wouldn’t be able to hold out longer than a few thrusts. He was already teetering on the edge as it was.

           Mine and Spencer’s eyes meet and he smiles up at me, dopey and drunk from pleasure, and it’s all the permission I need. I press into him slowly, and I’m left in awe as I watch Spencer Reid completely unravel beneath me.

           “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Spencer curses, head flying back and hitting the pillows. It never ceases to amaze me at how fucking responsive he is, and tonight is no exception. It’s like his body is a live wire, trembling beautifully as I press in further and further and further. I stop just shy of being fully sheathed inside him, trying to allow him a moment to adjust, but Spencer seems to have other plans.

           “Keep going, Miss, don’t stop, please! I want all of it, please give it to me! I can take it, please let me show you!”

           He looks up at me and those beautiful brown eyes are so wild, so positively feral that I can’t even entertain the idea of denying him any longer.

           Spencer looks positively ruined by the time I bottom out inside him. His hair sticks to the sheen of sweat that gathers on his forehead, and his lips look positively abused from the way he’s been biting down on them. His eyelids flutter closed every few seconds, and every time he blinks them back open, I’m able to see that his pupils are so blown that his eyes look almost black.

           I pull back until all that’s left inside him is the very tip of the cock, and just as he opens that bratty little mouth to beg for more, I give particularly harsh thrust of my hips until I’m fully sheathed inside him. Spencer lets out a surprised cry as I set an unforgiving pace, all the while still loosely jerking him off as I bury myself inside him again and again and again.

           “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Spencer chants loudly, face contorted beautifully in an expression of pure ecstasy. I spare a brief thought to Spencer’s poor neighbors and make mental note to invest in a ball gag.

           “S’that feel good, baby? You look so pretty taking my cock like the good boy you are. My pretty little cock slut. Such a shame nobody’s fucked you like this before,” I hum as I focus my attention on the head of his cock, thumbing lightly at where he leaks for me.

           “D-Don’t want anyone else, just wanna be good for y-you. Wanna m-make you proud,” Spencer whines, tripping over his words as he struggles to form a coherent sentence. The sentiment sends a jolt of heat down to my already soaking core, but I do my best to ignore the slickness running down my thighs for the time being. Right now, my only focus is the boy chanting my name, praying for a type of salvation that only I can give him.

           I smile down at him and my hand drifts lower to where I’m steadily thrusting in and out of him. Spencer’s body jolts as the pad of my thumb brushes against the sensitive skin of his hole.

           “Of course, I’m proud of you. Look at how well you’re taking me, baby. It’s like you were made to take my cock,” I praise him.

           My words, mixed with the way I’m working both Spencer’s cock and his tight little ass, seem to be getting the better of him, because Spencer doesn’t even try to formulate a response. He just continues to let out strangled moans that almost sound like sobs as his hands grasp at the sheets until his knuckles turn white.

           It doesn’t take long until I feel the muscles in Spencer’s stomach and thighs begin to tense, and when his cock twitches in my hand I can tell Spencer won’t last much longer.

           “Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” I ask him as I grind my hips against his, and Spencer’s reply comes in the form of an incoherent, garbled moan.

           “What’s the matter, baby? Have I fucked you so stupid that you can’t answer me anymore?” I taunt him. I use the leverage I have from the hand placed on his hip to propel myself deeper. “Is my poor dumb baby incapable of replying?”

           Spencer makes a feeble attempt at a reply, “P-Please let me – f-fuck – cum! Oh, God, m’socloseMiss. Harder, please!”

           I take a minute to bask in the way he’s completely fallen apart at my hands - relishing in the way his eyes are glossy and dark with lust, in the way that his chest is flushed a deep red, and in the way that precum beads at the tip of his cock, aching for a release. He looks beautiful like this, whining and squirming, hips grinding down in search of more, more, more. I’d never imagined in a million years that I’d be so lucky as to see the illustrious Spencer Reid fucked absolutely senseless, but here he was, waiting for my permission to throw himself off the edge and into the best kind of oblivion.

           “Cum for me, pretty boy,” I say in the softest voice imaginable. “Show me how good you are.”

           The tension that had been steadily building since the first press of my lips against his snaps in an instant, and copious amounts of cum spurt out from his cock, painting his chest in thick, white ropes. Spencer chants out muddled thank yous as I fuck him through his release, pushing in and out of him in shallow strokes as slowly comes back down from the high.

           When his breathing slows down to a normal rate, I pull out of him, quickly freeing myself from the harness and tossing it aside to be dealt with later. I crawl up until I’m at eye level and begin pressing soft, sweet kisses to Spencer’s face.

           “You did so well, Spence,” I murmur against his skin. “You’re amazing, baby. Thank you so much for trusting me to be with you like that.”

           Spencer lifts a shaky hand to my hair and pulls me down into a heated kiss. I indulge him and pour every ounce of passion I have into my efforts, hoping to express my gratitude with every swipe of my lips against his. And when I pull away, my pretty boy smiles up at me, sated and full of adoration, and it’s beautiful.

           “D’you think you can handle taking a shower with me?” I ask as I pull away, and Spencer gives a shy nod in response. He sits up in the bed and swings his legs until his feet hit the floor. I’m just about to stand when his hand comes down on my wrist to stop me.

           “What about you? You didn’t . . .”

           “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. Tonight was all about you.”

           I move off of the bed and help him to his feet, holding him steady when his legs begin to shake. “Might be a little sore for a while, but it should go away within a day or so.”

           I help him to the bathroom and turn on the shower, and when it’s warm enough I rid myself of my bra and panties and motion for him to join me. I urge Spencer to step under the spray first, but his arms snake around me and pull me with him.

           Spencer nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck and he lets out a deep sigh.

           “You okay, bubs?” I ask him as I tangle my arms around his torso and begin to rub soothing circles into his back.

           “I just feel a little… down? I-Is this a sub drop? I read a little bit about them, but I don’t k-know…” he trails off, sniffling pitifully against my neck. “I-I just know that I want to hold you. Is that o-okay?”

           My heart lurches painfully in my chest as his voice wavers, and I pull back just enough that I can look into his weary eyes.

           “Baby, that’s more than okay. Sub drops are a perfectly normal thing to experience, and I’ll be right here to hold you for as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

           Spencer’s eyes fill with tears and he makes no attempt to hold them back, choosing to let them fall freely and mix in with the water pouring from the shower head.

           “T-Tell me you want me,” Spencer begs, lip wobbling pitifully. “I-I just feel like I’m not good enough for you, and I know it’s all in my head, and I know how you feel about me, but I just think it would help if you just… s-said it. Please?”

           I feel my heart break for the man that stood before me. The implication his words carry - that this wonderful, kind-hearted, extraordinarily gifted man could ever think so little of himself – was enough to bring tears to my own eyes. I swallow down the lump that forms in my throat and, with all the sincerity I can possibly muster, I reply.

           “I want you, Spencer Reid. I don’t want anyone else – only you,” I tell him, never once breaking eye contact. “For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

           Spencer chokes out a weak laugh, “And if I want you forever?”

           I nudge his nose with my own, and the act feels almost more intimate than everything that preceded it.

           “Then forever, it is,” I murmur. I press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away and reaching for the shampoo. “Now, turn around, pretty boy. Let me pamper you.”

--

           “Y/N!” Penelope calls out, sauntering over to me in a flash of hot pink taffeta. I’m in the middle of throwing my satchel over my shoulder when she runs up to me, excited smile on her face. “Me, you, JJ, Elle, and a bottle of tequila. You in?”

           On a normal day, the answer would have been a resounding hell yes. But today? I let my eyes wander over to where Spencer lingers near the glass doors, trying to look like he isn’t listening in. Very subtle.

           “I’m gonna have to pass on this one, Penelope.”

           Penelope’s smile transforms into a pout.

           “This is the third weekend in a row you’ve ditched us!” she whines, stomping her kitten heeled foot like a petulant child. “Either you’re avoiding us or you’ve got some secret lover we don’t know about. And if that’s the case, then we have a whole other problem, because that’s the kind of thing I expect to be told about immediately.”

           The giddy smile that stretches across my face gives me away before I even have the chance to open my mouth, sending Penelope into an absolute frenzy.

           “Oh my God, I cannot believe this. We’ll talk about how angry I am about being kept in the dark later because right now, I need details,” Penelope gushes. “Who is he? Where did you two meet? Is he hot?” Penelope barely gets the words out before she’s shaking her head. “Wait, that’s a dumb question. Of course, he’s hot - just look at you. Do I know him? When do I get to meet him?”

           I can’t help but laugh at Penelope’s enthusiasm.

           “Slow down, Pen,” I chuckle. “I didn’t tell you about it because it’s still relatively new, and it wasn’t until this past weekend that we finally decided to put a label on it.”

           “A label? Does that mean this guy is your boyfriend? Oh my God, I thought this day would never come,” Penelope sighs dreamily. But the far-away look in her eye quickly fades and Penelope begins to grill me with renewed fervor. “Y/N, you have to tell me who it is. It’s like, practically a crime that I’m only just now hearing about this, so you owe me this much. And I’ll be needing his first and last name, along with a DOB so that I can run a full back ground check ASAP. Don’t even try to talk me out of it – we deal with enough freakiness during our day jobs, and I insist on making sure the freakiness ends there.”

           I can feel a flush spread over my cheeks and I fiddle with the strap of my bag.

           “I, uh, don’t think a background check is going to be necessary. You know this guy pretty well already.”

           If Penelope had been worked up before, she was practically vibrating with excitement now.

           “I know him? Oh my God, this is so huge. Is it Brendon from down in sex crimes? Or maybe James from counter-terrorism?” Penelope muses aloud, before her eyes go almost comically wide. “Holy hell, it’s Anderson, isn’t it?”

           “It definitely isn’t Anderson, or any of the others, for that matter,” I laugh. “Do you want a hint?”

           “What I really want is for you to just tell me, but if you insist on dragging this out then yes, I would very much like a hint!”

           I cut my eyes over to where Spencer stands, and it’s impossible to miss the giddy grin on his face. So much for trying to remain subtle, Doctor Reid.

           I fake like I’m looking around for anyone within earshot before motioning for Penelope to lean in. She’s quick to comply, and I do one last exaggerated sweep of the room.

           “Alright then, here’s your hint,” I whisper into her ear. “He’s got an IQ of 187, and he’s a pretty kickass magician.”

           I lean back and adjust the strap of my bag, sparing one last, parting glance at Penelope, whose jaw is practically on the floor.

           “See you on Monday, Pen.”

           “W-Wait, are you serious?” Penelope calls out after me. “Reid is your mystery man?! Y/N, get back here right now and explain yourself! Derek, did you hear that?!”

           By the time I reach Spencer, Penelope’s voice fades into background noise as I focus all my attention on the way he smiles down at me. I link my hand with his and I’m vaguely aware of an increase in volume coming from Penelope’s direction, but I ignore in favor of smiling back at him.

           “You ready to get out of here, boyfriend?”

           Spencer squeezes my hand in his and he nods.

           “Ready when you are, girlfriend.”

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