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kendrixtermina · 2 years ago

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Haha for real.

One of the first thing I did after reading the Lukovich book is compose a thank you message to dear old mom for keeping our family somewhat cohesive, making it something ppl want to be part of & keeping in touch with me after I moved out etc. basically doing a lot of so related stuff that I never really appreciated or valued. That was late last year but I don’t think the full significance sank in until way after.

Cause had it been up to me I defo would not have kept in touch nor expected them to. I always expected to leave and never see them again. When they left the federal state I’d been living in while I was finishing my degree, I think my ex minded their absence more than me.

As an adolescent, I had tried to get into a boarding school, attempted running away and even begging a social worker to remove me from the family. I wanted to be free of the bullying and my father’s abuse, but I would have been cool with never seeing my mother or siblings again.

In fact I long regretted what I saw as the mistake that did not get me removed. In some ways I still do though there is no way to know what would have happened, being in foster care would probably have sucked in a whole different way.

My bro was the only one I would have said I was remotely close to pre-moveout, but probably in the last 10 years most the interactions we had is because the social-havers invited us both to the same event, if it weren’t for them we prolly would have scattered to the winds.

I was touched that they wanted to keep in touch with me & that my mother helped me out so many times over the years and was more patient with my lack of professional progress than anyone could have asked her to, so that’s how we actually ended up growing alot closer as adults than we really were before. (it helps that I’ve cut off all contact with my father so he is no longer there to triangulate everything.)

I certainly never thought that I’d ever be deliberately moving to the same town as my mother & siblings. I mean in a sense I’m still doing it ‘cause I have no reason not to & it doesnt really matter to me what city im in so long as it is big, but I guess that’s more than zero.

I’ve been here several weeks and I’m still being spontaneously glomped by my mother “Im sooo happy youre here now and im seeing you more than 2 times a year, im sooo happy to have all my babies living nearby” & siblings are all exited & wanna do stuff with me that’s just so weird. I haven’t even done anything useful to merit this, these ppl should be beyond tired of me and my bullshit.

but, if all the evidence says they arent it would be silly and irrational to contest that. guess ill just count myself grateful.

the coup de grace was hearing that apparently the youngest rejoiced when she heard i was coming because I apparently “always talk about interesting things” - that’s such a contrast to, like... i didnt read half as much stuff lately as I would have liked to. i didnt do anything. i never have anything to say or tell about. i want to hide away so nobody asks me. I’m so void of any novel useful content that you can hear the wind blowing through me. Or so I would have thought.

I’m probably sounding as silly as those ppl going “can I still be a 7 if I have only one social outing per day” or “Can I still be a 9 if I made a displeased face at my mother once” (actual questions ive gotten on reddit)

its one think to acknowledge that it will never “feel enough” and that thats not a good guage, but then what is one? Thats not so obvious, which makes it all feel like thin ice.

But maybe I’ve come somewhat closer to making the step from “ignoring social completely” to “it has to get in line behind the other 2 things but is at least somewhat on the radar. ”

I hate to be agreeing with that darn Lukovich especially since sneered at that cliched woo-woo sounding line of when I first read the book, but you really don’t have a grasp what the blindspot really is at the beginning.

IDK on some level I still don’t want to care about that too much & much of it still seems silly and I worry that I’ll lose whatever clarity I have to see through arbitrary bullshit. though you at least wanna be aware that it exists, because not seeing stuff that exists is not clarity either.

eh i dunno. still gotta think about that. dont have it quite sorted yet. but if mom wants me to go have ice cream with her once in a while cause talking cheers her up thats a discount price for all the free help shes given me for no reason, i guess. i still fell that if i ever came to any money, i would have to pay her back somehow, at least for everything that was done after i turned 18. but she probably wouldnt want money, per se.

maybe us all living nearby really is as great of a dream as she makes it out to be, but really accepting that reality is precarious, cause, am I then taking that away if I wanted to fuck off and move away for some reason. it seems very important to have that freedom. but insisting on that would carry a price tag, i guess.

uh. this got a bit beyond the scope of just the instinct thing but i think it is illustrative nonetheless.

Hey, it's me again lol

How you doing? I was on the bus having q complete crisis over something. And I thought something like "I can't even take care of myself"

You have say multiple times that you don't even think about your IV that's blind.

But you don't came to start to thinking about it when you discover your IV stacking?

I'm most likely an sp blind, since I discovered it I have feel bad about it. Because I came to the reality that I don't take care of me whatsoever, so I'm thinking bout it sometimes. But in that way.

Is that possible?

To oneself become more self aware of what's lacking on the iv. Not like becoming good at it. Just starting to notice it.

I don't know if that even makes sense sorry lol

It's more that confronted with someone who prioritizes your blind spot, you cannot relate to them at all or go "eww, who would care about that enough to make that the most important thing in their life?" Blindness is not "I can't do it at all," it's "these other things take up so much of my focus, I neglect this third one most of the time."

#enneagram

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swanqueensalad · 3 years ago

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TRIGGERWARNING!

Without triggering anyone I wanna ask two things:

1) Was Cora ever physically abbussive towards Regina?

2) I know many ppl's head canon is that Leopold raped Regina again and again as his bride, but is that your headcanon too?

ok again TRIGGER WARNING for abuse & SA (and brief mention of suicide) for anyone reading/scrolling!

i'm going to just explain my personal interpretation of the show and these subjects, bc i find regina so interesting and heartbreaking. and i actually do think part of what makes regina so fascinating as a character is her relationship within the cycle of abuse and how yes, she was incredibly hurt and manipulated all her life, but she eventually managed to break free of it all and work to be better for her own child.

buckle up because i have a lot of feelings and this is probably going to be LONG

so, my thoughts on exactly what happened and why regina is as fucked up as she is:

so yeah, cora was a horrific parent. it's canon that she abused regina both emotionally and physically for practically all her life.

in practically her very first scene, we see cora using magic to hurt her eighteen year old daughter - to violently restrain her/drop her to the ground when she 'misbehaves' which pretty clearly says this is a woman who uses power and fear as a control tactic, and is not afraid of physically hurting regina.

and if this is what she was doing when regina is almost an adult, i think it's safe to assume she's been doing it since she was very young - regina's response 'please don't, i'll be good' is the conditioned response of a much younger child. everything about the way regina was written, her relationship with cora, and the way lana and the directors chose to play it screams abuse victim. she is hypervigilant - she jumps when people come close or make sudden noises. when she's choked with magic she immediately knows not to struggle or fight back. as a young girl, she is terrified of doing things wrong.

(also, when we get the flashback to actual 10 year old regina, cora says she can't help her because 'it needs to be someone who's magic has never hurt her')

while i think most of the time cora relied on magic to physically punish regina - knowing how much regina particularly hated it/was afraid of it - i think she was definitely not above slapping her for more minor infractions

beyond just physical abuse, cora was clearly emotionally distant and got regina to a place of being pretty touch-starved and desperate for affection. (lana and barbara play this so masterfully as well) we see her being constantly, nastily critical of everything her daughter does.

i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms

as for leopold. please bear with me while i RANT:

nothing will ever make me more mad than the fact this man was never held accountable in the narrative for his role in regina's story and how absolutely fucking awful he was.

first of all, even before he meets regina, he is dodgy af. he supposedly genuinely loves cora, but throws her out immediately when he discovers her pregnancy without even asking her if it's true/discussing it. also, even in that flashback the man is visibly much older than cora and even more so than eva, who he actually does marry (although i do believe they came to truly love each other). so yeah he has a habit of Not Listening to women and not looking at women his own age

and then we get to regina. the eighteen year old daughter of his ex fiancee (younger even than the unborn child who cora carried when she was engaged to him)

yes i think he raped her. because powerful old men do not marry pretty eighteen year olds for the company. (also, if it was just so snow would have a mother figure, well, she already had her maid joanna. and if snow really wanted regina around that badly, leopold could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting, a fitting role for a noblewoman, and more appropriate seeing as regina was only about eight years older than snow)

regina is visibly distressed by the proposal. she is panicked. she looks to her father to help. cora accepts the proposal for her. and leopold does not care. i think this tells u all u need to know about his views on consent

(also it all gets ickier when you remember leopold was attracted to cora, and regina is considered to look like cora did when she was younger)

leopold clearly had zero interest in regina as a person. he used her for arm candy for events, to make snow happy, and to keep his bed warm. (later, he invades her privacy so much regina counts on him reading her diary as a thoughtless and integral part of a plan, and locks her up for receiving a present from another man) and yet he is never treated as a villain or ever held accountable (besides regina killing him - good for her - but even then it's framed more as a way to villainise her for tricking sidney) and it makes me FURIOUS

i sometimes see the take that leopold might have stopped raping her towards the latter years of their marriage, but i disagree - i think maybe it did get fewer and farther between, but regina was still his wife who he only saw as serving a few purposes, and the way he is so possessive of her in 1x011 makes no sense otherwise, seeing as he was so uninterested in her in every other way

i do think a lot of regina's rage and vendetta against snow is because of this abuse too.

hear me out: in s1 especially, both snow and regina refer to snow as 'ruining her life'. because regina blamed her for everything that happened to her. not only did snow cause daniel's murder, it was her desire for regina as a mother that prompted leopold to marry her.

and this marriage was hell. and i think people don't realise how long it lasted either - snow went from a child to at least her late teens before regina killed leopold. regina was a traumatised young girl, grieving the love of her life, with no friends, no allies, nobody except the literal dark one who was grooming her for his own gain. (no wonder she clung to the brief sense of freedom and control his lessons offered. no wonder she nearly killed herself.)

and while regina suffered, she was forced to play with snow white every day, who was so spoiled, so loved, so happy, and had no idea of the life she had unwittingly trapped regina in.

so yeah, it's all pretty dark.

and it's for all these reasons i think ouat ended up shying away from many more regina backstory episodes centring on the time she was married/pre-evil queen years, because they were on abc after all, and i don't think they were really equipped to deal with the horrendousness of the story they'd created

but lana most certainly did her work becaue i think all of this nuance does show in her portrayal

and it all just makes regina's ending - the good queen, in her own name, safe and strong and loved, part of a true family, her bond with snow healed - so much more of a relief.

#tw abuse #tw rape #regina mills #regina mills meta #anti king leopold #anti cora

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golbrocklovely · 2 years ago

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guys, i think it's time to talk about the elephant in the room. i know i have a bunch of you in my ask box talking about it, and i figured i would just make a big post about it here just to address everything. this is gonna be a bit all over the place so bear with me.

also this might be long so i'm just gonna put it under a keep reading, that way the ppl that don't want to read it don't have to lol

. . . .

the jonas brothers' best album, imo, is "lines, vines, and trying times". i know, it's not their most successful, and especially comparatively to the previous album "a little bit longer" but hear me out !

that album, as a whole, shows growth and that the jonas brothers can make an 'experimental'-ish album and have it still be good. they could have easily did what most of the fans and general consumers wanted, making another ALBL album but only slightly changed, but they didn't. they took their overall great pop sound and added even more power to it by adding in horns and strings, which gave the album an almost cinematic feel. and with a title inspired by the trials and tribulations they were going thru as young men, it matches so well.

plus, it was a good progression lyrically. while they were still signed to disney and in the middle of even doing a tv show while writing this album (and when it came out), they were growing men. joe and kevin were already in their 20s, and nick was 16/17. lyrical, a more adult approach, especially on topics like love and betrayal, needed to happen in their music. it couldn't sound as sweet and airy, or even juvenal, like their previous record. and nick's vocals…. some even better than the previous album. which is insane since he is a crazy good singer. joe also showed crazy range, and proved that being a more rock singer is something he could easily accomplish if he tried.

AND, there's ~drama~ on this record too. after being in a tumultuous three month relationship with taylor swift, joe moved on quickly to camilla belle, who had been in their lovebug music video (and joe had said in interviews before that she was his celeb crush). taylor told the world he broke up with her in 27 second phone call (and also that he may or may not have cheated), joe said on myspace (yes, bc we are that far back in the past) that basically she hung up first before he could explain himself and that he has never cheated on any of his significant others. taylor writes forever and always (such a good song). joe ends up writing 'much better' which was basically saying that camilla was a better gf (even tho in a livestream he claimed the song was about the fans but okay joe lol). there was probably so more back and forth with taylor (bc she was messy back in those days and we love to see it) and then eventually joe changed the lyric of "now i'm done with superstars" to "now i'm done with country stars" at a single show in tulsa, i believe.

AND ON TOP OF THAT, you have 'before the storm' with nick and miley singing about their first love and it falling apart…. omg the DRAMA.

nonetheless, i would fight to say that every. single. song. on. this. album. SLAPS. seriously. this album has no low points. literally the only song that isn't good is the song from their tv show but even that one's fun.

top three songs (which is so hard to choose honestly) would have to be much better, hey baby, and poison ivy. in any order. those three are my gold standard favorite.

i think this album also holds a special place in my heart bc i remember going to see them in concert when they went on tour for this album. it was my first ever concert and seeing them live, performing these songs... it just sticks with you, you know?

so yeah. i know everyone was dying to hear my opinion about this. sorry for the long wait :)

#personal #text #yes i am serious about this #no i will not be taking any further questions at this time :)

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saudade-mayari · 3 years ago

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I don’t blame people who says Aizawa is a bad teacher or a hypocrite, but you’re an account that I am comfortable sharing this because you also love eraser head. (It’s okay if you don’t want to post it)

Even Aizawa admitted to himself that he is a terrible teacher and mostly forced to teach as based on the vigilantes manga where Nemuri recommended Shota to be a teacher, but what he did to DEKU is somehow relevant for me.

Yes it is true that during the first part he hated Izuku’s guts and regarded him as having no potential but Aizawa was also testing the kid because whichever way watchers should know, Aizawa is right on the fact that Izuku just can’t attack recklessly and impulsively after having such destructive quirk. He did not disregard Izuku’s quirk, he is merely testing the kid to find his other resolve. As for Bakugo’s case Aizawa truly had a hard time disciplining him but he is watching him closely like what Mitsuki (Bakugo’s mom) said, so when All Might took tutelage of Midoriya (and Bakugo) he had no objections because as a HOMEROOM teacher, All Might is the best training for Izuku’s quirk (which is relatively passed onto him)

He is never a hypocrite for teaching Shinso. I don’t see anything wrong about that because I really understand that some training teachers have their own prodigy and he’s a homeroom teacher all he is accountable off is the overlooking at the their hero training which he did well because he focused on the student individual’s strength in the summer camp.

Aizawa also mentioned in a chapter in manga (254) why he expelled students in the past. He knew his capability as a homeroom teacher and he himself knows that he is a terrible teacher hence, re-enrolled them to other school where they would work with a new homeroom teacher. Some may see it as escaping of “escaping duties” but I really think during that time, Aizawa was just thinking what he thinks is best for the students. Afterall, he had proven himself good in manga as someone who really cares for ALL THE STUDENTS.

Blaming Aizawa for the events in 1A is practically uncalled and irrelevant, might as well just say the entire UA should be held accountable. He just had a poor decision making most especially when the truth about Kurogiri is revealed. However, even though he is not the best teacher, I can safely say that Aizawa is a decent and good teacher.

v v v long post ahead

yes anon!!!!. not my biased self speaking... he is not as great as other teachers, but saying shouta is a terrible teacher is uncalled for. he is a decent prof for me. made some mistakes, helps his students. it’s decent.

i firmly believe aizawa and all might are better example as a pro hero than teachers.

(Gonna point some of his mistakes in my perspective as a former teacher under the cut)

he was strict for a reason but he showed his care for all the students during the fight in manga (not gonna say since its spoiler) even aizawa himself knows he is terrible at teaching but at least he is trying😂

i also heard fans saying that because momo, tenya and todoroki are from rich and well known prohero family aizawa never bothered to scold at them. AGAIN IT IS WRONG TO SAY THAT.

momo, iida and todoroki...yes rich and families are known for being heroes but they practically never did anything to trouble aizawa so why else bother them? during their test, aizawa gave advice for todoroki and momo which considerably helped them.

aizawa’s way of teaching is to give harsh critiques and let the student have their own resolve. but as a former student and teacher speaking, it is both right and wrong to have that approach.

it’s definitely okay to let them figure out their own resolve (HAPPENS A LOT IN MED SCHOOL PROFS ARE HARSH HUHU) but it is important to somehow give them base and foundation before actually figuring out their so-called own resolves. i think it’s what aizawa lacks the most AS A TEACHER. but then again his entire character build up clearly says he’s not for teaching.

he was also called a hypocrite for teaching shinso but they aren’t picking on all might for mostly focusing on deku nor endeavor only wanting to focus on shoto. it’s not wrong to have their own prodigies because at the very least aizawa helped overlook his students like what he did in the summer camp and like what all might did in student practicals.

not just aizawa but all might, endeavor, nighteye and even gran torino have personal decisions on closely training those selected kids

aizawa WAS the only teacher who called the entrance/admission test irrelevant for non-physical quirks. HE KNEW IT WAS A PROBLEM SO HE HELPED SHINSO TO BE ON HERO DEPARTMENT bc he know the kid’s opportunity to be a pro hero in the future. he experienced that himself, although his quirk is powerful it was completely non-physical that is why his and shinso’s ability are less likely to be recognized. coz i agree the quirk admission test was somehow iffy... there should have been psychological quirk test too but i understand the point where fans tell that “it’s a student’s job to take advantage of their quirk rather than complain in the disadvantages of having a non-physical quirk.”

I agree on that statement but as a former student myself, i think reconsiderations should have existed coz there are probably lots of great students in general course department (like shinsou).

—and tbh... aizawa and kakashi are often the teachers who are regarded as ‘terrible ones’ but i don’t think so.

im not gonna point out kakashi’s but im gonna say aizawa’s role as a homeroom teacher. back in highschool, ive homeschooled in japan for 2 yrs due to personal reasons and i can say that based on their culture in japan and asia countries in general have a different approach on homeroom teachers.

homeroom teachers in japan are technically the ones who overlook the students, ppl who argued that aizawa should train them is irrelevant because all might is their combat and hero training teacher. aizawa is not meant to teach, but rather supervise.

which is why aizawa (as the homeroom teacher) and all might (the hero training teacher) are the ones who had council with parents because technically, aizawa is responsible for the students safety. HOWEVER....

manga spoilers on the cut

some anti aizawa fans are totally wrong to blame everything in him for 1A always being in dangerous circumstances because after reading the on going manga, they have no damned idea AT FIRST who the league of villains is responsible of. THE ENTIRE UA SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE, not just aizawa I agree on that anon.

for aizawa and the rest it is still a puzzle in the early, i repeat early chapters of the manga what the league is really after aside from killing all might and changing the system of pro heroes.

yes. I agree he had bad decisions on the victims, mainly Kurogiri because he knew it was his friend. He regarded Kurogiri as a ‘victim’ but somehow disregarded the casualties it caused. It was irrational for aizawa to say it like that coz it was obviously a word out of his feelings in the past. can’t blame him (imo) but it was truly irrational and irrelevant for him to say it like that.

there are times aizawa as a teacher just harshly criticized them and let them have their own resolve which is in fact, pretty harsh for a bunch of 15 year olds. but i think aizawa only wants them to have their own resolve since its what aizawa has been doing since episode 5.

i think it was bad for aizawa to let iida go where his brother was attacked, he should have acted upon it as a homeroom teacher to secure iida’s safety but then again, ITS FOR THE SAKE OF PLOT😂

im going to say this again... as a former teacher speaking, it is bad for aizawa just to give the students harsh critiques and letting them figure their own resolves.

it’s not a bad teaching approach BUT that kind of approach doesn’t work ALL THE TIME. sometimes, aizawa needs to teach the basics, base and foundation so the students would have an easier time to HAVE AN ACTUAL SOLUTION

because as a student for 9 years in pre and med school, it is definitely hard to make critical decisions WITHOUT being taught the foundation and base first.

it’s like aizawa not teaching an intern general surgery but letting them have their own decisions if the intern is gonna decide whether to lead the surgery or not.

his teaching approach is not bad but it doesn’t work all the time. as a teacher, pro hero and adult he needs to imply his own experience as well which where the erasure hero lacks. But then again it’s plot and aizawa’s introvert character build up so we can’t really blame him because they need the plot to keep going.

personally, aizawa’s main mistake is not knowing what to teach for the answers to questions the students are not expected to know from teaching answers to questions the students are expected to know.

if aizawa’s gonna be that perfect teacher and all, the show would have been boring😂

though aizawa did assessed on their quirks during summer training arc but i think it was not enough for the fans.

aizawa is much more better as a pro hero alone. he does his job perfectly as pro hero.

so in conclusion, i think aizawa needs to have seminar with me 🤪 im gonna teach my man the proper and basics of teaching. HAHAHAHA KIDDING 🤪 (lowkey not kidding)

#READ MY LAST PARAGRAPH #THAT’S THE BEST RESOLVE #shouta aizawa #aizawa shota #eraserhead #aizawa shouta #aizawa sensei

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zenosanalytic · 3 years ago

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Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #The Dreaded Animes #zA Reviews #zA Opinions

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holycow99 · 3 years ago

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石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 9

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

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(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)

I: How are the contents on Sushi’s channel? What should I do on my channel? I thought I wanted to just do as I please with this channel, but are there any contents I can do? I don’t mean I wanna do things to expand my subscribers or do projects (eg. 30,000 commemoration project) for my channel. Rather, is there anything interesting thing for me to do? Don’t youtubers always narrow down the type of contents they make in their channel? Some create sub channels. It’ll be suffocating for me if I do that, so I’ll create any kind of contents that I want. If you guys have any requests, I don’t mind doing it If I feel like it. If don’t wanna do it, I won’t. I think Q&A is a good idea. We’re going back to this topic. Everyone does Q&A, it can fill in the time as well. Ishida Sushi’s special life consultation feat. people die eventually. Something like ‘Special Life Consultation: People Die Eventually.” Hehehe. Something like that. A despair episode. But then, I’d look despair. But trouble consultation is quite heavy. If I received very serious questions then, I’ve no choice but to reject them. I want to answer as many questions as I can, but that kind of question is a bit…I don’t want people to take my words seriously regarding life and death. I don’t wanna be responsible for their lives.

*Someone commented that it’s better to put question box on insta story.

I: Really? They do that there? I see.

*Someone commented the title for the Q&A that Ishida had said and he pinned it.

Ishida Sushi’s life consultation: People die eventually.

I: The title is gonna be something like this. But then, there’ll only be questions related to this kind of stuffs. For example, suicide-related questions. “Don’t do it!” would be the only I answer I could give.

C: Everyone would look despair.

I: You’re right.

*Someone commented that Takahashi Kunimitsu did Q&A on instalive.

I: Seriously?! I wanted to see that! He received 100+ questions? Seems very tiring. I should not do it then. Seriously? Kunimitsu did something like that? I seriously wanted to see it. What kind of answers did he give? I seriously wanna see it! But it won’t be there anymore. Eh, really?! I wanted to see. What did he answer?

C: There’s a part of the live in insta highlight.

I: Really? How to see it? Tell me. I wanna see 2x.

C: He answered my question.

I: I see…

I: That’s nice. I want to consult him. I’d ask something like “People die eventually. What should I do about it?” He’d probably answer something like “Well, just live!” with a small laugh.

*Someone commented you can view the highlight on insta profile.

I: Insta profile! I see 2x. Can I take a look at it for a bit?

*Searching for Takahashi Kunimitsu’s insta.

C: Your keyboard sounds very nice. I also bought mechanical keyboard! (t/n: The comment was in eng.)

I: Yeah! It’s Elecom keyboard! It sounds nice! (t/n: He said this in eng.) I only use fixed keyboard buttons. The keyboard’s fn button is the one I definitely use. I made it fit my thumb. That’s the easiest way for me to use it.

*Someone commented about the adult website comment.

I: It’s here again? Yeah, it is! Thank you. Just let it pass by.

*Going back to searching for Mr. Takahashi’s insta.

C: Sensei, what to do when you’re so depressed?

I: That kind of thing happens. You can’t do anything about it. You can only struggle with it.

C: What made you start Choujin x? (t/n: this comment was in eng.)

*Ishida had trouble understanding the question.

I: Why did I start Choujin X? Is that what they meant?

*Ppl in the comment found Mr. Takahashi so easily.

I: Everyone is very good at searching. You guys searched it on insta? Really? It’s not a different person? I’ve been looking since forever.

*Looking through Osterreich’s insta.

I: How can I go to his insta?! I don’t know how to use insta! Damn!

*Finally found his account through google.

I: Is this it? Seems like it. It’s the real one! “I’m dead.” So dark! What is highlight? Is it this round thingy?

*Looking through Mr. Takahashi’s insta highlight.

I: Is it in writing? I thought he would talk in it. Is this the question box thingy in insta?

*Ishida reading Mr.Takahashi’s Q&A.

I: Let me read this for you guys. Haha. What a bad personality I have. “Have you ever felt loneliness? If you had, how do you deal with it?” “I have loneliness and I do feel lonely, but I don’t necessarily hate it. Being alone is very easy. If I’m in a very hard time, then I’ll call my friends.” So, he doesn’t hate that feeling. Since being alone is easy, he doesn’t hate it. I see. That’s a good answer.

*Someone commented that Mr.Takahashi talked about him.

I: He talked about me? What if he said awful things about me?

I: Ah, he skyped me today. I didn’t realise it. I just realise it now. Wait, I’m gonna look through his insta.

*Keep reading the Q&A.

I: How about I show this to everyone? Hahaha. He must doesn’t like this! Can I? Hahaha. Wait a min. I’m gonna do the worst thing ever. This is not the worst thing ever. It’s fine. This is made public, after all. If I can’t, then…Wait a min.

I: Alright, I’m gonna expose it. He did this in insta so that people could see it, didn’t he? What do you guys think? Do you think this is awful?

*Everyone commented that it’s okay.

C: It’s not awful, I don’t know if it’s okay to show in on screen.

I: That’s right.

I: Just reading is enough, I guess.

*Keep reading stuff about his friend.

I: Is there anything interesting?

I: “I always watch Ishida sensei’s stream with you in it. I would like to hear you converse with him again.” Is this the one you’re talking about? “It was a good timing at that time. I don’t know whether there’ll be another one. We do hang out in our private time, so maybe there’ll be one.” He’s expecting another. I see.

*Still reading.

I: Alright, let’s do this! Ishida Sushi’s simultaneous worldwide stream. I’m only energetic the day after I finish my manuscript. Only currently. A melancholic day will begin tomorrow.

C: Did you have any recommendations from the movies you’ve watch recently?

I: The one I didn’t watch before, but thought it was fun after I’ve seen it is Truman Show. I think it’s quite an old movie. I think everyone who watches this will find it entertaining. It’s starring Jim Carrey. I remember he went into depression. Has he gotten out of it yet? Jima Carrey is a good actor, right?

*He’s talking about the ending with a fan that’s watched the movie.

I: Everyone, please watch it. The ending is good, isn’t it?

C: Do you watch western movies subbed or dubbed?

I: I watch them dubbed when I’m working so that I won’t have to look at the sub. When I want to watch it leisurely, then subbed.

*Someone commented about eternal sunshine.

I: I’ve never seen that. I’ll memo it.

*Someone asked about shutter island.

I: I’ve watched that movie. (t/n: He’s giving spoiler, so I didn’t translate further.)

*Someone commented about Charlie’s angels.

I: I don’t watch it. I may have different view on shutter island if I watch in the present days. I was young at that time. I knew the ending so I watched the movie without enjoying it.** There are other highlights beside that, such as Leo’s acting. If we’re talking about Leo, I probably like Catch me if you can the most. I’ve only watched his movies when he’s already an old man. I’ve never even watched Titanic. I’ve only watched the older version of him, like Great Gatsby. I’ve never watched Inception, by the way. I’m thinking of watching it. I only know older Leo. Catch me if you can is a good movie, isn’t it? I’ve read the autobiography. When I read it, I found it to be questionable. I thought it was a fraudulent document. I kinda thought it was a forged document disguised as an autobiography.

*Someone asked about Harry Potter.

I: I’ve watched all of them. They are great, aren’t they? Harry Potter is a famous fantasy-genre masterpiece.

*Someone asked about Ocean Series.

I: I haven’t watched them, but I’m thinking of it. I’m gonna watch anything anyway.

I: People overseas have started joining the stream. As expected from a simultaneous worldwide stream.

C: Do you know SPEC? (t/n: SPEC is a Japanese drama.)

I: Yeah, I do know it.

C: Sirius Black is cool.

I: I don’t remember much about Sirius Black. Even though he played a central role in the story, I basically only remember Professor Snape. I hated Harry’s father to the max. He’s an unpleasant guy. That applies to Harry as well. He’s the kind of person who laughs at people’s failure. But the actor who played Sirius Black, Gary Oldman is cool. And then, I like Malfoy too. Malfoy’s a good character. Though he became a minor character towards the end. I can truly sympathise with him. I like his father too.

*Someone commented about Harry Potter’s Book ver. of Harry.

I: I see. So the Harry in the book is different. That happens.

*Someone commented about Narnia.

I: Oh yeah, there’s Narnia’s movie.

*Someone commented Professor McGonogall.

I: Professor McGonogall. What a name.

C: What manga did you read recently?

I: What was the title again? What manga did I read? But then, I watch movies and read books more than reading manga nowadays. I read the magazine issues as well. I used to be obsessed with Oshimi sensei’s Chi no Wadachi back then. Superior magazine has interesting stories.

*Someone commented Rod was in the chat.

I: Have a nice day. Oh, Rod is here? Hi Rod. Rod is here? Oh, he’s here. Hi Rod. Have a nice day.

*Someone commented that Rod has Saiko’s icon.

I: Oh, Rod has Saiko as his icon. I see. He’s said that before? Sorry. It’s hard for me to catch what he wrote because it’s in eng.

Rod: I will, you too.

I: I will. Oh, it’s true. The icon is Saiko. Did he draw that himself? Did you draw it? It’s a nice icon. I want to include Rod in my manga. Hahaha. I’ll make him an old passer-by in Choujin X.

Rod: Hi everyone.

I: Hahaha. What is this guy? Hahaha. Ultimately, what is he? I can explain him to everyone, but what is he actually? Basically, he’s someone who has been tweeting ‘Have a nice day’ to me for around 5 years. That’s Rod. He’s perhaps a Brazilian. If something happens to him, I wish he’d contact me. If he’s gone, it’ll be too sad. I’ll only offer my prayer to him if that happens. Take care of your health. Be careful of your health.

S******: If the tweets stopped, then something like that must’ve happened.

I: If the tweet didn’t come, I’d be wondering where he is. Then, I’d wait for his tweets for a bit. I tried tweeting him ‘Have a nice day’, but he didn’t reply back. Rod disappeared for like a year and a half. He probably had some mental health problem. He stopped tweeting to me, and then he came back a year after. I thought maybe he’s a bit down. It’s too heart breaking. Don’t you think so? He’s like an overseas friend to me. A pen pal. We’re connected in that way. I totally prefer Rod than Goubaru. (t/n: Their interaction is so wholesome.)

I: There’s a time when I couldn’t contact Goubaru. Everyone (probably the staffs) and I had promised to meet and hang out. We couldn’t reach Goubaru at all. I thought he’s already dead. Since he’s fat, he has a lot of health risks. I thought he might be dead. I thought that it’s unavoidable at that time. I was like “he’s gonna die? I see.” Well, you’ll die when it’s time.

*Someone commented that it’s good Goubaru’s still alive.

I: He’s alive but his some sort of a friend went to see him. There was a response when he rang the bell. That’s how we knew Goubaru’s alive. I seriously thought he’s dead. I thought that it couldn’t be helped because he looked like he’s dying. The rest of us was already gathered at the hang out place. We wondered what should we do. If we went to see him and found his dead body, we had to call the police. We already sent one person, but we wondered if we should send another one. The person who went to see him was a reliable one though. I thought we need to think about the people who already gathered. It’s not nice to just dismiss them, so we played games and had a good time. It was something like that. It has nothing to whether I like Goubaru or not. I was like “what should we do?” I was really scared. I thought he really might be dead.

Part 10

#ishida sui #tokyo ghoul #jack jeanne #choujin x #chojin x #ishida sushi channel

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melovez · 4 years ago

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@hydemind okay i’ll tell a few stories. i’ll tell some of the bad/funny stories because they’re more fun

below cut cuz the post is too long

1. Two Jeff The Killers and A Dr. Who Character Fight Over Courting Courtney, and Ruin Her Character

this one actually got really uncomfortable pretty quick. my oc courtney, as she appears in TNC, is kinda the classic “blonde girl who dies in a horror movie” but i flip the trope on its head by making her actually very well equipped for survival (in shape, knows first aid, good fast-talker for stalling). that doesn’t matter to 12-16 year olds who think jeff the killer is a good role model though so as soon as i joined the server i realized there was a GROUP of canon pasta rpers going around killing every human they found On Sight. but there’s these two jeff the killer rpers (one is teenage jeff, the other is adult jeff) who immediately take a liking to her and basically designate themselves as her personal bodyguards.

this is really sexy on roblox, apparently. random blonde girl in a varsity jacket and jeans.

eventually this like.. dr who character i have no idea who it was shows up (not the dr. but he had a sonic screwdriver??) and starts being. like. REALLY overtly romantic towards her. and i’m trying to have her turn him down in character but he’s not taking no for an answer. he’s slipping notes and flowers in her back pockets every time her back is turned and he’s metagaming (reading her bio for things his character shouldn’t know) to justify getting away with doing all this without her noticing. and it gets to a point where i’m like “dude. stop. you’re making me uncomfortable” and he just said word for word “that’s what you get for playing creepypasta rp lol”

because of him i have not played as courtney since because teenage boys can’t keep it in their pants when they see a lego girl with long blonde hair

2. All The Times I’ve Been Insta-Killed For Absolutely No Reason and Called A Fail RPer For Ignoring It

probably the most notable time this happened was when an MTF militant rper publicly executed my character. (not an exaggeration. he walked up to my INNOCENT TEENAGE CHARACTER, told them to get on the ground, and then shot them in the head.) when i told him that’s kinda bullshit he said “you made the mistake of trusting me” and i was like. why wouldn’t he trust an MTF agent they’re supposed to be protecting people. and then he threatened to report me for not going and “making a new character” because apparently my character was permakilled. hope that guy got reported by someone else and banned because he was just such an asshole

then there’s the time casey was eating a sandwich sitting on the curb and this monstery guy came up to him and said “hey follow me” and casey is very trusting so of course he does do that and the guy lead him behind a house and just hit me with the classic “*kills*”. i said “cool rp bro” ooc and just left lmao

i am not a fast typer and people do not take turns in combat on roblox rp so there have been many times someone attacked casey over and over and then murdered him while i was still responding to the first message. casey has been murdered many many different ways by many people.

i’ve come to learn that if someone walks up to me and pauses in front of me with a weapon drawn, they are typing an attack, and i need to run. i’ve been chased multiple times since i adopted the strategy of Just Fucking Run Away but it’s better than someone walking up to me and instakilling my character then calling me a fail rper for calling them out on it

if you’re lucky though and there’s a large group of rpers around there’s usually someone who is a hardcore pacifist and will run over and do a *heals* if you get attacked or instakilled. which is also not very good rp but at least it benefits me

3. Slenderman Encounters Other Slendermen And Gets In a Pissy Mood About It

of my years of playing roblox creepypasta RP, i have yet to come across a good slenderman rper besides myself. only recently did i find a formula that allows me to stay very in character and also get noticed (i used to just stalk people and linger near the shadowy tree line and i was so good at it no one ever noticed me and i never got any rp). most slenderman rpers abuse the invisibility tool and stand in crowded areas looking for attention while also not putting any actual work in besides standing and switching between spamming the vanish tool and the tendril attack tool.

because of how popular slenderman is a LOT of inexperienced ppl go to him as their first choice when they open the game and i’m sad to say none of them are good. with my current strategy of rping it’s actually become very fun to speak unseen (when i’m vanished i appear as a black static/smoke cloud so people can still know they’re being followed by me, better for rp engagement) about what a Foolish Impostor the other slenderman rper is as my slender lmao

considering most slender rpers refuse to actually do any rp the way i rp as slender makes me. fairly popular. i do frequently disappoint the 29487492947294893 people rping as slenderman’s children when he basically tells them to fuck off or outright denies he has any children. the good news is splendor is a very good uncle to all the kids my slender doesn’t want lol

#ramblings #creepypasta #roblox

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough.

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls.

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated.

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences. especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks.

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well.

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;)

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

Note

spill the yoi hot takes :o

I’m really flattered with the amount of asks (I hope you won't mind that I combined at least 5, it's just easier this way), interested in my yoi opinions, I wasn’t planning to get into that honestly, until I mentioned it to my friend Alex (I’ve mentioned him here before without a name tho, he’s gay, he’s very into anime, he was also the one behind that 4am text “but how do u think Rin’s teeth feel on Haru’s dick” lol).

I just didn't want to rewatch it, as I've said before, but something he said got me very intrigued and last week ended up with me staying until 7am for a virtual watch party that got pretty hilarious, but not for the yoi reasons lol.

So just know that to be completely fair we did it and I'm saying everything below with a very fresh impression, which hasn't changed really bc like I'm 25, I was watching it the first time when I was 21, not 14 xD. I think it got worse actually.

Once again, I know that since they’re both gay sports animes comparisons are inevitable, but to me one has nothing to do with the other and no matter the fact that I adore Free! and don’t like YOI, I don’t want to throw words like smth is “superior” out there, bc I don’t want to be like those YOI fans back in the days, who thought that none other gay ships should exist after this (unless they say smth specifically for me to counterattack, then I can say whatever lol).

Like if you love stories like this, it’s okay. Like what you like. But to yell at everybody that they must think that this is how relationships should be and trash every other gay ship in existence, you maybe should not, especially when you don’t really have much to be proud of. Just like kisses don’t make a love story high-quality, full censorship doesn’t take away a good love story.

"Heaven official’s blessing” is also censored, but no matter how much you censor it, their love for each other is seen in their actions so clear, that it is in fact will not take anything away from the power of their feelings and the greatness of their love story if at the end they won’t show them kissing. Just like if I kiss a random stranger on the street, it won’t make us the best couple in the world.

Now I went into watching YOI unbiased the 1st time I watched it (I did watch it after Free, bc it was in “recommended”). I did not expect it to be “like Free”, I just wanted smth that’ll give me the same kind of emotion, investment in the story, ship, etc. It didn’t, so I just moved on.

I didn’t even think deep about why. I thought I just grew out of the “Cinderella” stories a long time ago or as it was here not very gracefully called “how to turn the pig into the prince”.

Like if you want the “she’s all that” but with the boy instead of a girl, you’ll probably enjoy YOI. But once again, love stories I enjoy are the opposite of those. It's really nothing bad, if you enjoy the stuff like “Someday my prince will come” in whatever age tbh, but I since a certain age just wasn’t invested in those anymore and began to obsess with stories like “Anastasia” instead, and I’m talking about love stories with less naivety in between and feelings out of nowhere, but more stuff like “yes, bitch, I find you attractive, true, but whether I fall for you unconditionally or not, only real life situations will tell later on”.

And I don’t mean stuff like going through war together or some epic journey, but grown ups must know those. Those life situations or even tiny things someone do, that make you not only fall for someone, but think “yeah, I can imagine my life with you”.

Like in my humble opinion, you can’t fall in love with someone bc of the way they swim or skate, for example. What ppl call “love at first sight” is in fact “attraction at first sight”. So yes, we do joke about Rin falling in love at first sight, bc he did in fact walked into the hall, saw Haru and was like “dat bitch is so fine”, even tho he was just standing there, but once again, he was just attracted to him. What happens after this is you can go on a whole beautiful journey with tiny Rin putting together the prettiest puzzle of why he falls for Nanase Haruka. In such little things like when Haru slowed down when he saw Nagisa feeling bad during running and Rin was like “omg you’re so uwu”, how he mentions that he always helps ppl, but never asks for help himself, he slowly gradually paints a picture of what kind of person Haru is, same goes for Haru about Rin. And then you have a whole story of them falling for each other all over again when they’re already adults, and you again watch it through their eyes, and once again I’m not in fact talking about some grand gestures like 1x12, I’m talking about stuff like them focusing on Haru’s eyes shaking, when he saw that Rin secretly helps Rei to learn how to swim. It’s the little things, that you watch and you get why they feel what they feel for each other. And that also makes you fall in love more with their characters by seeing how the other sees them.

YOI doesn’t have those moments. Not only they weren’t in any situations that would make them know each other for who they really are, they hardly even know the basic info about one another. Hell, the viewer doesn’t know anything about them. And this is why to me it goes into the category of those typical romcoms I can’t get invested in.

So I don’t think these two can be compared. And while some yell “bc you’re not canon, but yoi is canon”, I think they can’t be compared for another reason. Bc some ppl are trying to prove to me that a 27 years old man fell head over heels in love with someone overnight during a drunk banquet, then watched a vid of him skating and flew to another country and hey “if you win a gold medal, lets get married”. This is not the kind of relationship progression I’m looking for like at all. Between that time he started training him and their “censored kiss” there was nothing and I mean nothing that’d made me go “yeah, I see why he loves him”.

But anyways, lets live piecefully really, you can like one, you can like both, it’s all okay.

Like I know many have ptsd and it’s true that back when YOI was popular, most of their fans for real did annoy to death almost everyone, bc they yelled that No.6 is trash, when someone said “but you’re not the only one gay story that’s not based on sex”. They yelled that Free! has no right to exist bc its queerbating (LOL). By that time, I’m not gonna lie I was ready to poke my eyes out each time I saw smth YOI related, bc it was like: you make a multigay shipping vid - “how dare u not include YOI”, you make a gifset - “you forgot YOI” like I HAD TO like it just bc it’s gay. There is no such rule to me. Just like I don’t care for some hetero romances, I don’t care for some gay romances. Simple is that. Once again gay has nothing to do with the relationships dynamic and the story.

Yeah, comments about fanservice. Like why should I watch Victor’s naked ass for several minutes every episode, but don’t get to see Haru or Rin’s at least once? So salty rn.

Free is more fanservice-y.. well, it’s hella fanservicy, yes, but like we can’t swim in shirts, you can tho not show naked ass in each episode, I thought you were skating.

See, it’s all debatable.

But I do wish ppl stop putting yoi relationships on a piedestal, their relationship are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far from being inspirational for many and not even close to the what love is in my opinion. If you seek smth of a very high standart of gay love, choose MDZS for example, idk. But don’t throw YOI at ppls faces as a “this is how should be”. Not everyone wants that.

I don’t need a half-assed engagement and esp the censored kiss (like either do it or don’t do it at all honestly). Also stuff like this should carry weight. I don’t want things for the sake of things.

Like to me Rin’s “the only thing that hasn’t changed in my life is how I feel about you” speech, considering the fact that he felt like that throughout all those years, means hella more, than this.

I think 1stly, it’s because of the “it’s like it was a destiny xD” factor and 2ndly, bc at least this scene gives a little more sense to the fact that he flew to another country to train him. Now it’s if “I fell MADLY in love in one drunk night and was pining my whole life after that and that vid was a sign for me to go see you again” makes any sense to you. At least that’s how some fans read it.

Once again it might be a good thing for a passable one-time romantic comedy. But plots and pairings like this is what made me turn to anime in the first place, so.. sorry lol.

All this mega tragic posts of “Victor was soooo in love for such long time, it’s so sad” made me laugh so hard. Like he feel in love so hard during a one drunk banquet with a guy who was so drunk he didn’t remember anything he did? WHY? HOW? what could he possibly do to make him fall that hard, no one knows. Like to me the only reason u can fall for someone in one night is if you saw him risking his life saving a kitten or a puppy from a car or smth.

I’m just not the kind of person who thinks you can fall for someone for no reasons. Again, you can find someone attractive and go from there, but there must be things along the way that will make me believe in the progression of it. It can of course all come in the future, but the story was what the story was. Whatever you are trying to add to it is already a fanfiction.

YOI is not boring per se, bc everything goes way too fast and sometimes with no reasoning, so I was more surprised that “this was it?” lmao. But their relationships are dull, yes. Bc there is nothing to even discuss really, you can only assume things, bc the whole thing didn’t give u much, esp in the characters department. It’s just really funny to me that someone would write a whole post of “I love this character bc I presume he’s like that”, usually it’s “I love this character bc facts, facts, facts”.

______

Now back to the beginning of my post and to the funny story that happened. We were randomly discussing shit, when I mentioned about possibly rewatching YOI, bc I didn’t want to start talking about smth in case I forgot some stuff (I didn’t btw lol) and turned out that he freaking disliked it a lot. I never even asked, for some reason, and we’ve been yelling about Free! and other stuff for ages and like his boyfriend is in love with Sousuke and they both adore rinharu to death.

And he has lots of gay friends who love Free (this made me happy the most, btw during our YOI chat I asked and it was 4:1 harurin:rinharu haha I win) and some ships from Haikyuu too, but turns out that literally none of them were into YOI. And the funniest thing he said was “bc it felt more heterosexual than some heterosexual stories I’ve watched”. Now I don’t know if it would make sense to anyone else out there, but I kinda did get what he meant.

I asked if it was bc of the “fairytale setting” and the fact that no one cared that they’re gay (bc “in front of the stadium?!” was the reaction, when I told them “there was a cencored kiss here” (btw not everyone got it lolz) and then “did they just write the story with a girl, but then changed it by the end?”), but they said “no, just the overall feeling”.

And like everyone knows that YOI targeted audience is hetero girls. It wasn’t made for the sake of the LGBT community and none of the homophobic ppl will watch it either, no matter what some think. So for whom they did it the way they did it is very questionable tbh. They say it’s the LGBT representation in anime, and yes, good, great, always happy about, but isn’t it kinda funny that some of LGBT representatives don’t even feel like it apparently.

Now I’m just saying some, I’ve asked him to ask around out of curiousity, and it was only 11 gay guys in total, who watched it, including our company and his bf who was forced into it haha, but 11 is quite a lot, considering the fact that not even 1 liked it. But then somehow stuff like MDZS and even uncanonical mikayuu was highly appreciated and loved, bc it accidentally made a dent in some extra conservative parents and dull ppl.

It’s just much more interesting to hear what guys who are actually dating guys think about all those kind of animes and ships, than some girls here who yell at me stuff like “why are you supporting queerbating”. Btw I asked Alex if he’s offended by that, he said “no, but we for real think they’re doing it” lmao.

It is supposed to be funny. You didn’t get it wrong. But if you saw many ppl would aggressively disagree with you. I just thought that “analysis” was an “interpretive process that draws conclusions from a set of facts”, not “writing a fanfiction based on assumptions”, but then again to each their own.

The problem is that I don’t even get what’s cute about it, it’s just absurd to me. Like it’s pulled out of an ass, for real. They’re not in the stage of a relationships, when I would find such thing romantic. And all the agressive denying of the fact that it was indeed wedding rings made this scene cringy, too. The whole thing is cringy to me idk. The “win the gold, only then we’ll get married”.... It all gave me a weird feeling. The opposite of “touching”.

So in conclusion, when you skip most of the important parts of the love story and jump into stuff just for the sake of it, then also make fun of it, it leaves a hella weird impression and aparently not just to me.

And once again trying to market some primitive story as an epic love story, just bc it’s gay is extremely weird to me. If you make 50 shades of grey gay, it’s not gonna suddenly become a pulitzer prize winning kind of book, it’ll stay the same dumb af story with dumb af characters, but gay.

So being happy about some representation (and btw they still managed to add stuff like “its not gay if you exchange rings with your hommies” here and there and make it “hahahaha joking”), I get it, but to say that this what all the gay ships should aim for, pls stop. We really don’t wanna. Sincerelly.

We here stick to a motto “I can picture the kiss of the characters whose story is so amazing, that the kiss is the only thing missing, but if I basically have just a picture of two guys kissing, I won’t write a whole story myself.”

P.S. I will forever laugh now tho at the fact that calling your bf a “pig” and being an arogant asshole without any canonically established reasonings is a great relationships, but Adam with his past gets what he gets now for the “dog” comments even tho his bf enjoys it lmao like I did not remember this bits in YOI. I honestly thought it was like completely “unproblematic” one, but it’s like hilariously not. So what ppl are trying to even put out their as a “pinnacle of the lgbt representation” as you say, like there are for real older yaois that are much better than this.

#answered #anonymous #anime

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fairymadnessyeah · 4 years ago

Text

Piss Off your Parents

Shigadabi week day 5

AO3 Link

Summary: Tenko is tired of being treated like a kid. He knows that his dad is worried, but he is an adult and it's time his old man understands that. Luckily, he has a hot new boyfriend who is more than willing to help him.

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Civilian / Steampunk / Teamwork

"YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Tenko cried as a moving company placed his furniture on the UA teacher's dormitory.

Tenko had always been an unlucky bastard. He was born with a destructive quirk that made him dangerous to others and valuable to villains. Or, more specifically, one villain. All for One. The man wanted to grab hold of him since he was a child and had his first accident with his quirk. He had luckily been found by a hero instead of the super-villain though. Loud Cloud, or Shirakumo Oboro had come across the scared, skinny, bloodied child and helped him out. The two, along with his friends Aizawa Shota and Yamada Hizashi, had learned that he was the grandson of Nana Shimura, the mentor of All Might.

Suddenly, he had gone from murdering his family to being adopted by the cloud hero and gaining three hero uncles and one hero aunt. His life had gone from nightmare to dream-come-true in a matter of seconds. And after years of taking care of him and being the best possible dad he could have asked for, the man who saved him was stabbing him in the back.

"Tenko, this is only temporary," the cloud haired man says trying to calm him down. "You only have to stay here for a few months, until it's safe for you to live alone again," the hero teacher explains.

"I have my own life now, dad. I have art classes and friends and a life outside of UA, unlike you," Tenko hadn't followed on his new family's career. He didn't want to be a hero. After everything he had gone through, he just wanted a simple life. And he almost suceeded.

He might have gone to UA, but only because his father and uncles worked there and he went to General Studies. Once he graduated, he got a scholarship for an Art course of studies in a good university, he sold commission pieces of his drawings on patron and got his own apartment. It was not the luxury and excitement of a pro-hero, but he was happy. He had a great neighbour, Twice, who introduced him to his gang of misfits and outcast where he fitted perfectly.

There was Giran, Twice's boyfriend, who ran a Personal Manager office. Magne, one of the girls who worked there. Toga, an upcoming idol who the office represented. Spinner, a friend of Toga's. Mustard, Giran's intern. And Dabi, another one of the represented clients of their office and his boyfriend.

How had he gotten that? Don't ask him. One day, Jin was introducing the two to each other, and the next Dabi was taking him out on dates. Tenko had never had a boyfriend before, and his relationship with Dabi was rather new, so he hadn't told his dad yet. For the most part, he didn't want to freak him out. Oboro had grown very protective of him with having a crazy super-powerful villain going after him. But with how things were going, he was starting to not care that much about it.

"It's already been decided, Tenko," Oboro sighs. "You have to stay here..." Oboro tried to place a hand on his hair, but he quickly moved away and stomped inside.

"Fuck you!" he cried at his dad first. "And fuck all of you too!" and he continued with the rest of the faculty members hanging around in the Common room before heading upstairs to what will be his new place.

If he was honest, he didn't care much about living for a few months in UA. He loved his dad and his uncles and didn't really mind spending more time with them. But they couldn't keep treating him like a child. They couldn't take such a big decision for him believing that they knew better. He was an adult now. They had to talk things over with him and understand that he could make his own responsible choices. Usually Shouta, Hizashi and Yagi would have his back, but with their paternal instincts turned on again with the arrival of Midoriya and Eri, there was no such luck.

He stomped all the way to his room and once inside, flopped face down on his couch. Unlike the students dormitories, UA faculty members had bigger quarters. Instead of a one-bedroom, they had a private bathroom, a separate bedroom and a main lounge area. It was better than his apartment, but the fact that it had been his and this wasn't, made the entire thing pale in comparison to his eyes. But maybe it was just his anger. He was still pissed at his father, and it frustrated him that screaming at him wouldn't help the situation. He wanted to get back at him somehow, teach him a lesson. But how?

His answer came in the form of text message. His phone pinged in his pocket, and when he checked who it was, he couldn't help but smile.

Dumbass <3

Why are ppl taking stuff out of your home?

Are you moving out?

Dad is worried and made me move with him

Well, Fuck

And I had a plan to surprise you with cooking and a nerdy movie...

Guess we'll have to wait

Don't cry, babe

We can sneak you out.

I am an expert, after all

An expert?

What? Did you sneak out of your house late at night to go to some concert or some shit?

Like the rebel that you are?

Hell yeah,

I'm the disappointment your parents don't want you near

That's right...

You are a disappointment

Okay... Rude

Do you still want to help me with my body-art project?

Sure

Are you free tomorrow? It might take a while

I thought you were going to paint over me and take some pictures.

How long can that take?

A lot

We might get distracted~

And I want to reward you after such a long day of work~

...

I have a clear schedule on Friday.

Good

It's a date!

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"What the..."

School had just finished, and the teachers were just returning to their dormitory. Thought the sight that welcomed them wasn't one they were expecting.

It had been a couple of days since Tenko had moved in with them. The rest of the staff didn't see a problem with it. They knew the kid, and he was a polite and responsible young man. That morning, for example, he had asked all of them if he could use the Common room of the dorm for one of his art projects and if they were alright with somebody else coming too (Apparently he needed help with the project). It was a good change, though. Lately, the art student had been in a foul mood, ever since he moved. But that morning, it had been as if he was a whole other person. Oboro had been glad his son's mood had improved. He thought once he could focus on his art, it would happen. Boy, was he wrong...

When the teachers entered their new shared home, Tenko was there with a plastic rug covering the floor, some paintbrushes scattered around and kneeling in front of a half-naked person. It was definitely not what they expected.

"Oh, hey," the nudist greets them with a nod.

The sound makes the man kneeling turn around, revealing the other was not fully naked, but wearing underwear thank god and Tenko was painting near his crotch area. Aizawa, who was holding Eri and covering her eyes, and the rest of the teachers, let out a relieved sigh, except Oboro. He is still staring in disbelief and surprise, not understanding what is going on. Why is his son with this stripper stranger? Why was he so close to him?

"Sorry about the mess, I didn't know this would take so long," Tenko apologises as he goes back to painting on his live canvas.

Said canvas was a tall red-haired man with blue eyes who couldn't have been a few years older than Tenko. The guy had painted on patches of black ashy paint on half of his face, his neck, arms and shoulders. He probably had more on his back and legs, but the teachers couldn't see that. His front was left bare, but Tenko was making a weird patterns that were rising through his abdomen and chest, leading to a giant rainbow heart in his left pectoral.

"What type of classes are you taking?" Yamada asks.

"This is for my Alternative Art and Style class," Tenko explains. "Now, could you not bother me? It's a delicate process, and I don't want to start over again. Pretend we are not here," he calls them off.

The teachers do, and so he continues. Once he finishes with the chest, he takes a weird tool with a round end and dips it in water. He gently starts to trace patterns on one of the black patches, revealing a multitude of colours behind it. It's rather magical, seeing the colour come to life on the other's skin. Eri, who had become too curious and escaped Aizawa's censoring, even asks if she could try. Tenko lets her, and she does a small heart in the behind the redhead's ear.

An hour later, Tenko is done, and he and the live canvas start to take pictures of his work. The teachers are not paying it too much attention now, letting the student finish in peace as they grade papers, sometimes glancing back at them from the corner of their eye. All of them but one, who was too busy glaring daggers at the canvas. Oboro can't help but notice the weird tension between his son and the naked man. There's something in the way their gazes cross, and their touches linger that is making him mad. He used to be able to read his son like an open book. There weren't any secrets between them. But now, he is not so sure.

After a few shots with the guy spread-eagle against one of the white walls, the two left towards another room to take more pictures. Oboro fought against all his instincts telling him to stop them, to go with them, to not leave them alone for a second, and stayed with the rest of his co-workers and friends. He didn't know why, but he felt as if he had let his son walk straight to hell.

"Finally," Snipe sighs relieved once the two younger adults leave.

"Yeah, Shirakumo-san, you didn't tell us your son had a boyfriend-," Thirteen comments.

"He doesn't!" the delusional man interrupts. "That guy is not- he isn't- Tenko would tell me if he had a boyfriend, alright!?" he tries to convince them or himself, he isn't sure at this point. Shota hums by his side, in that ' I agree, but we both know you are wrong' tone.

"Honey, the only reason why they didn't jump each other is because we were there," Nemuri goes straight for the punch, covering Eri's ears and giving him a little wink.

"No! No, no. NO." he splutters before going back to paperwork. Shota hums again.

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They don't see Tenko again until after dinner. They were cleaning the table when the young man came down wearing a new set of clothes. Instead of the dirty sweatpants and tank top he used for painting, he had a black pair of pants and a black hoodie that was too big for him. The neckline didn't cover one of his shoulders and the sleeves pooled in his wrists. The hoodie also had a fire design on the back with blue flames.

"Hey, you missed dinner," Oboro tells him as he dries while Yagi cleans. "There's some leftover the fridge, if you want them," he tells him.

"No need, there's still some pizza left from my lunch with Dabi," he says and starts taking out what he needs.

"Dabi?" Yagi asks. "That's the name of the model who wore your art today? He seemed familiar,"

"Yeah, he's a professional model, maybe you saw him in a billboard or something," Tenko explains and starts heading out of the kitchen.

"You might wanna take another shower, Ten, you still have paint on your neck," Oboro points out.

"That isn't paint, dad..." Tenko grins as he disappears upstairs.

CRASH

"Oboro-san! The plates!"

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Saturday morning at UA always started slow. The weight of the week was still present, and the usual energy was not there yet. The staff of UA began their day with a quiet morning and a cup of coffee. Not all of the teachers stayed though. Some returned to their homes for the weekend, like Hizashi and Shota with Eri. They would take turns to stay with the students during Saturdays' and Sundays'. This weekend, Oboro, Nemuri, Snipe and All Might stayed.

"Fucking married fools..." Snipe groans as he arrives at the Common room.

"What are you complaining about now?" Nemuri asks, confused as the rest of them also come down.

"Last Night, Yamada and Aizawa," he grunts and spreads on the couch. "I know that they are married and that they love each other, but can't they keep it down?" he moans tired, making everybody confused.

"What do you mean? They left yesterday with Eri, they didn't even spend the night here," Oboro tells the hero, voicing everybody confusion.

"But then who were the ones having sex yesterday in the room on top of mine?" Snipe asks baffled.

"Sorry about that," a low voice comes from the kitchen. The teachers all turn towards it and find the model from yesterday leaning against the kitchen door with two steaming cups of coffee one was Tenko's favourite one, Oboro noticed and no shirt.

"What- Why- What are you still doing here?" Oboro asks, fearing the answer.

"My baby was lonely, and he never says no to Daddy's attention," Dabi grins and walks back upstairs.

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"So, how long are you going to torture your dad?" Dabi asks his boyfriend, giving him the steaming cup in his new bed before he lays down next to him.

"For a while," Tenko hums and sips his sugar monstrosity he referred to as 'coffee'. "I'm guessing in a month, he'll finally get tired of it, learn his lesson," Dabi hums as he sips with him. "You don't have to follow along if you don't want to. I know what I'm doing is stupid," he says, lightly scratching his neck.

"Are you kidding me!? I love every second of it," Dabi chuckles. "How about on winter holidays you came to my family's home, and we do the same to my old man?" he suggests, a mischievous grin forming in his face.

"Are these going to be our dates from now on? Pissing off each other's parents?" Tenko rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's daddy issues.

"Hell, yeah. We are a team, aren't we? If you succeed, then so do I," he kisses him in the cheek, making the younger man's cheek turn pink. "Speaking of which, I need to leave more marks on you, babe," The brunette traces a path with his lips to the crook of his neck.

"Dabi..." the artist moans. Suddenly, the body besides him steps away from the bed, taking the heat with him. "No, don't leave..." he pouts and watches as his boyfriend rummages through his overnight bag. A second later, the taller male drops a dozen lipstick tubes on the bed and a box of make-up removing tissues on the bed. He then sits in the mattress again, in front of him, making the new objects bounce. "What are those for?"

"A game I know. Pick one," Tomura looks between the object and his boyfriend, trying to decipher what he was planning on doing. With a shaky gloved finger, he takes the tube nearest to him. Dabi takes it from him and spins it open, displaying a hot pink colour and applies it rapidly on his lips.

He is about to ask him something else, but he is interrupted by a pair of wet lips connecting with his. After his mouth, Dabi kisses his cheek then his jaw, his neck and collar bone before once again returning to his lips. He then separates from him once again and reaches for one the wipes, leaving Tomura panting. "Pick another one," he is instructed as the brunette takes off the pink lipstick. Without taking his eyes off Dabi, grabs another tube and hands it to him. The man on top opens the new one, a deep red, applies it and goes back to Tenko's lips. This time though, instead of continuing on his neck, the other dips down lower and tugs his shirt upwards. He starts to outline a straight line from his hip to his heart before returning to his lips again. "Another one and take that shirt off, I plan on making you a masterpiece," Dabi softly whispers in his ear before wiping off the make-up.

Colour after colour, Dabi stayed true to his word. His collar and neck ended up pink, his chest had three lines of kiss marks in red, purple and blue, his shoulders and wrists got green and yellow on his right and left and his crotch covered in black. He would start and end with his lips, making them swollen and full of colour. Dabi kissed him slowly and sensually everywhere, tearing him apart with every touch of his lips, smearing make-up all over his body. He felt his affection and care, leaving him breathless and dizzy. They didn't do anything overly sexual, his bottom was still sore from yesterday, though Dabi did blow him.

As the two laid next to each other after it, Tenko couldn't believe how happy the other made him. Dabi was his first relationship, and the man had been nothing if not patient with him. He let him set a pace he was comfortable with, teaching him the ropes and calming his anxiety whenever he got nervous. He even went along with his petty scheme. Tenko knew he was falling for the guy and it terrified him and thrilled him at the time. The fact that he could just be next to a person and be happy and content was new. He could stay in this bed forever, staring back into those blue eyes, and be in peace.

Suddenly, a phone rings in the background, interrupting the moment. Dabi huffs annoyed and picks up the phone on the nightstand. "What, Giran!?" he answers the call. "What? No, I'm busy. Can't you postpone it?" he says after a second. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. But I'm with Shirakumo right now," he moans and sighs once he gets an answer. "Alright, alright, I'm going. I'll see you there," he hangs up the phone and sighs again.

"You have work?" Tenko asks him.

"Yeah, the photoshoot for that new perfume brand, 'Angel's Tears', got moved to today. They want to release the product earlier, to win against a rival brand," he explains annoyed. "I don't wanna leave..." he moans and hides his face in the crook of his neck.

"You can come back later, I don't want you to miss work," he tells him, stroking the model's naked back. Dabi groans in protest and cuddles closer, hanging on to hin tighter. "Come on, you lazy bum, get up," he tells him and tries to get out of his hold.

It takes him a minute, but he is able to get out of bed and go into the bathroom. When he is in there, he gets to look at the end piece of Dabi's game. His body is a battlefield of lip marks of different colours in a chaotic yet very eye-catching way. He had a lot of issues like a LOT of issues and his dislike for his body was one of them. But looking at himself like this? With the clear evidence that someone loved his frail, pale form, it made his stomach flutter. Taking advantage of his new-found confidence, he goes for his phone and takes a picture in the mirror. As the camera goes off, Dabi appears behind him, placing his arms in his stomach and his chin in his shoulder. He takes another one.

"I told you I would make you a Masterpiece," he whispers in his ear and then kisses it.

The two try to get presentable, or at least Tenko does, covering the lipstick with clothes. The make-up is dry now, so the wipes don't take much of it off. He might need to take a shower once Dabi leaves. Once the two are ready, they go to the gate hand in hand to wait for Giran. The manager is going to drive the model there, since he doesn't have a car.

They depart with a kiss and a promise to call the other once they're free again.

Once he is gone, he makes his way back to the small dormitory-apartment, where he sees his dad sitting in one of the couch with his face in his hands. Yagi by his side, was trying to comfort him. He ignored them, but he can feel their eyes in his back and neck. Especially on the make-up he yet had to remove. He is feeling a little bad for his dad. He knows it's very pitiful what he is doing. But he guessed for now he learned his lesson. He could back down a little and attack once he went back to his habits. He was prepared if that happened. Unlike his dad, whose strategy was unplanned and sprung in the moment, he had a hot-blooded boyfriend he could use as very effective ammo.

He took a shower when he got to his room, which took him while. The lipstick was a pain to scrub off, and it made him question how worth it would be to do it. But then he remembers how good it was to be kissed stupid by his boyfriend and how he would love to do the same to him, and thinks that maybe it's worth the mess. He steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist but stops in his tracks.

"Dad!? What are you doing with my phone!?" he yells when he sees his dad there, messing with his phone.

'Quick, Oboro, act stupid!'

"...what's a phone?" the older man utters. 'Not that stupid!'

Tenko feels like he's about to explode with anger. Screw going on the defensive! Screw his dad and his overprotective nurture! Screw being treated like a child or an innocent teenager! This meant war and his dad was going to relive hell on earth!

Tenko takes a deep breath to calm down first. He isn't wearing his gloves right now, and while his control is pretty good, he doesn't want to accidentally decay his phone or his possessions in a fit of anger. Or worse, his dad.

"I'm going to change, and then you are going to apologise for disrespecting my privacy," he tells him in his meanest and darkest tone. "Also, if I were you, I wouldn't open the camera roll," he warns as he enters his bedroom.

The scream he hears once the door is close is strangely satisfying.

#shigadabiweek2020 #shigadabi #dabishiga #shigaraki x dabi #shigaraki tomura #Dabi #bnha #mha #au

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fandom-imagination-ss · 5 years ago

Text

Imagine: learning about the supernatural life from Klaus and him asking you too go too New Orleans with him

Author note: this is a request from @nick-1432 who gave me rang too write a Klaus imagine! Only had 3 things she wanted 1) be a Klaus x reader 2) be out by today ( for her birthday if possible) and 3) make it long lol 😂. I just moved back home so (yesterday) so I’ve been busy. But somehow I got this done! I had too for nicks-1432 birthday! So.. since I’ve been moving, and unpacking / packing this isn’t proof read. And I hope it’s good. And long enough! (And also that you wanted a girl reader. As I’m writing this note. I fucking realized you could be a male 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. I should of asked. If you are male I will write a even longer Imagine too replace this one !!! In advance I’m sorry!)

Did I proof read?: No sorry 😐

Rating : pg 13, mentions of death but it’s TVD ppl die lol

Fandom: the vampire diaries/ the originals

Word count : 16,746 ( nine pages lol 😂 hope it’s long enough!)

Being Elena’s twin was difficult, like when you were int e car with your parents and Her, when it crashed. Elena got out without a scratch, you got out. So badly damaged the doctors put you into a medical induced coma for a few months too help your body heal. When you woke up everything was different. Your world turned upside down. You struggled with your new reality with No parents, your sister being distant and cold and not telling you anything. Your brother soon joined in on keeping secrets from you and trying too distract you from the truth. It soon traveled thru your group of friends, from Caroline , Tyler, Matt, and Bonnie. They all kept secrets from you. Everyone in your life started treated you differently after the accident. Poor damage orphan. Who was on the brick of death. It drove you crazy , epically having too sit back and watch your sister make some..interesting choices. In her life. From Dating Stefan who was Nice and Kind respectful even. Too Damon who seemed like a complete Asshole. Who is Stefan’s older brother.

Luckily the only other person who was in the dark with you was Aunt Jenna. It gave you some comfort knowing you weren’t the only one. Who was clearly in the dark about your family. Jeremy was rarely ever around and Elena was always coming in Late or not at all. You figured she was going too Stefans place. Aunt Jenna was cool about it. Then the unthinkable happened your Aunt passed away. A wild animal attack. It broke you too pieces.

Having your parent gone, then your guardian your siblings were speechless and sad. When your uncle John arrived he lasted a few days but Elena, and Jeremy kicked him out. Having your History teacher and Aunt Jenna’s boyfriend Aleric being your guardian. That was your Tipping point.

You weren’t a huge fan of Uncle John he was. Okay. But at least he was family. And he was stepping up too care for you three. Elena and Jeremy decided for you that he wasn’t good enough that some guy who Jenna dated for a few months was better then blood? You were furious. Done with the secrets, and them dictating what is best for you. You had a teammate. Between their lies, and secrets and them treating you like a kid! Especially Jeremy treating you like a kid. Being older then him it should be you who was over protective of your baby brother! You were in contract with Uncle John Finished with them. Even the new comers the Mikaelson couldn’t change your mind even those. They were close.

Everyone was curious about them. The Dashing. Well dressed Elijah who looked like a Prince in another life strong chin, big brown eyes. Very formal and polite, Rebecca who was the only girl. Blonde hair that was long and shinny, pail reflection like her brothers. A sight attitude but is the only person in the entire town of Mystic falls who will tell you the truth too your face. And Klaus.

Trouble maker Klaus, who pushed everyone’s buttons in your life, Elena, Jeremy, Even your friends warned you too stay away from them. Even Aleric and Stefan and Damon who you weren’t close with all begged you too Not go near them. Of course them being the ONLY people in the entire town besides your aunt too treat you like A adult. You didn’t listen.

One day. Rebecca invited you over for a sleep over. You gladly accepted, you thought it was a sleepover. But they all sat you down and they told you everything. About vampires, werewolves, witches, hybrids about your family line being full of vampire hunters, too how Aunt Jenna who recently died. Actuallyq died) about the reasonings, about all the secrets they all kept from you.

Having a huge crush on Klaus didn’t stop the fact he killed your Aunt. You went too leave until they informed you about a ancient Threat that made the ‘original vampires scared” you told them too screw themselves and went home.

Getting home you got Thur the front door seeing No one, Like always they were all gone. Typical.

Hearing your phone bing you looked down seeing it was your uncle Jon getting back too your text. Who you now know is your biological father. And that Alerics dead wife is your biological mother. And that your parents adopted you from them..

Uncle Jon:I’m sorry Y/N I would love too have you but I can’t- I think your siblings need you more. I’m sorry I’ll call on the weekend and we can talk about this okay?I’m sorry kiddo

Reading the text you ended up tossing your phone too the sofa as you turned seeing Rebecca at the doorframe.

“Mind if I come in?”

Turning too her you held your arms, “So that myth about having too be invited is fake?”

“No. Unfortunately.”

You rolled your shoulders, “Fine- come in. If you came too suck my blood. It’s probably too biter to be good right now.” She chuckled weakly. “Please I prefer my meals too be male.” She walked in as she spoke, “how are you?”

You shook your head weakly looking around, “Since Jenna. I’m always alone.. I lost basically All my friends because they all kept me in the dark about this stupid town! And the only person I had was Jenna.. and your brother killed her!”

“I’ve seen Klaus kill thousands of people in his lifetime.. Jenna was the Only one that he felt bad about- He knew that she was all you had-what.. what can I do too help.”

You cried stepping over hugging her. She was stunned but hugged back as you cried. She was always strong but Rebecca was soft As you spoke, “uncle Jon wont take me.. I’m stuck in this Hell hole.- Why tell me.. about all the this?”

Becca hold tighter as she spoke, “we don’t want too see you get killed because you were clueless. We all care for you. It’s one of the factors that have bonded us lately.- When Klaus calmed down and realized what he did.. he destroyed the house. It was the first time we ever seen him remorseful.. he’s truly sorry for harming you. It was the last thing he ever wanted.”

Pushing back. You breathed deeply. Looking at your best friend. You rubbed your face collecting your thoughts as you spoke, “It was Elena, and Stefans, and Jeremy – it was their fault too.”

She was surprised hearing that response, “if they told Us about you, all or about Why your so dangerous- about all the he dangers in this town. Maybe! Jenna wouldn’t be dead! I’m Furious at Klaus but I’m More angry at the betrayal of my own blood!”

“come sleep over we can talk this out, and you wont get a truthful answer from your family.”

Nodding your. Head you agreed too that as you went upstairs too pack.

Collecting your phone before you left. You Got too Rebecca mansion too see Klaus having a glass of whiskey you walked over grabbing it from him drinking it all as you spoke, ‘you killed my aunt!” You hit him as he took it.

Hitting him over and over again you cried. As you fell too the ground Klaus never hit back. He stood there taking your punishment until he crashed down. Next too you hugging you. Gripping up too his shirt pulling him closer as you cried into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.”

Klaus let you cry your heart felt like it was about too explode, your stomach was so tense you felt like you were about too break. As you bawled. Everyone you loved. Cared for has lied too you.. and it took Jenna’s killer and he’s siblings too tell you the truth.

After crying your phone dinged too see you had a text from Aleric, Elena and Jeremy wondering where you are. You whipped your cheeks as you looked down at them.

“will you kill them?”

That got everyone too tense up, “my family- are you planning too kill anymore of them?”

“No- I need Elena alive,And I swear not too harm Jeremy.” Looking up at Klaus you thanked him and Rebecca took you too her room so you can talk it out.

Weeks passed you weren’t as close with Klaus as you were before. The whole “killing your aunt” really drove a wage between your relationship with him. Which hurt you wanted Klaus around.

You thought you were hanging the trauma and heartbreak of everything. Then Elena turned into a vampire. Of course NO ONE TOLD YOU! You never told your family you knew. Or your friends about all their secrets. It was Klaus who appeared into your room one day. Telling you what happened too Elena. Rebecca ran them over the bridge that your parents died on. Stefan saved Matt and Elena died with Damons blood in her. Turning her into a vampire. You were furious at Rebecca. And Soon Elena started bootcamp too survive being a vampire. Her being turned. Changed your thoughts on Klaus. Then Jeremy Died. you realized. Elena was death.. And she loved being a vampire, but when Jeremy died. She flicked a switch and her humanity’s was gone. Klaus begged you too move in with him for your safety. And you accepted. Elena terrified you. Especially her doppelgänger Katherine who was always around. So you agreed. With the new threat around. Being with murderous honest vampires.. Not so bad compared too your sister.

Before Elena turned her switch she was thriving and back too her bubbly old self before your parents death. She was truly happy. So you forgive Rebecca. It’s been weeks living with them. You just returned from a day of shopping. Rebecca’s suggestion wanting too find the perfect dress for prom. You were exhausted! Stretching out on your bed. Surrounded by bags as Klaus walked by your open door seeing the damage you and Rebecca did on the family money (that Rebecca thankfully offered too pay since your part time job at the grill would pay for one item you got together)

“did you and Rebecca leave anything in the store?” You grinned weakly hearing Klaus’s voice you shook your head. “Barely. Only the mustered color stuff.” He chuckled as you opened your eyes shifting too sit up as he spoke, ‘did you find a dress for the Prom?” You nodded your head weakly. “Yea. Rebecca picked it out.- I’m still unsure.”

Klaus leaned against the doorframe as he spoke, “let me see.”

Getting too your closest pulling out a pink dress, it was a corset top, with a ball gown skirt, every inch was sparkles it reflected softly on the lights in your room as klaus turned around and you realized he wanted you too try it on. You did. Stripping quickly and hopping into it you spoke up, ‘it’s so.. reveling those. I mean it’s slightly low, and my back..”

Klaus turned looking at you as he spoke, “you are a vision. You breathtaking Y/N” smiling weakly you thanked him as he stepped over as he spoke, “you could wear a potato sack and be potato sack and be beautiful.” Feeling your face going red he breathed deeply as he spoke, ‘what unworthy boy is taking you too prom?’

“None- I’m going alone..” that surprised Klaus as he spoke, “really?” You nodded your head, “yea- Matt asked me but that would be too weird.. and with Elena being- bat shit crazy.. and Caroline and Stefan- whatever they are doing and Bonnie.. it’s easier. Less complicated..”

“I’ll take you.”

Smiling hearing that you nodded your head “sure.” He smiled as he went too go as he turned looking at you, “I was going too ask- what are your plans for after graduation? You apply for any schools?”

Shaking your head slightly you spoke, “No- it’s.. I.need a break and too explore.. I’m taking a year off.” With that he walked off.

Prom was perfect. Shortly after Rebecca, Klaus and Elijah were needed in New Orleans and they left you too watch the place. It was only there did you realize they weren’t coming back. It broke your heart. Then graduation came And you were waiting in line too get your diploma, uncle John wasn’t here. Even those you invited him. Elena smashed that idea of having him here. Elena got up and everyone cheered and clapped for her you got up after her getting your diploma when you noticed Klaus in the crowd. He was near the front clapping loudly. With a big smile on his face. You smiled brightly seeing him. Getting off the stage you waited with the rest of your class.

Finishing the ceremony. You leaped off the stage hugging Klaus tightly. “Thank you.” He smiled hugging you back as he spoke, “I couldn’t miss this- Rebecca apologize and Elijah they wanted too come but things in New Orleans are sticky..”

You pushed back holding his face as you smiled brightly. You dreaded today. Having no family with you too celebrate, with Being stuck with Death herself. And your friends who kept you in the dark. You smiled so wide it made Klaus smile back. Looking at you. Seeing this. One kind act make you smile so wide and bright. It made the tough cruel Klaus melt. You were the only person without a motive. He’s meet thousands of people who had motives too kill him or use him. And then their was you. Who just wanted him for himself. It was a different feeling that Klaus wasn’t use too.

You reached up kissing him which surprised Klaus as you pulled back “thank you.”

A huge goofy smile appeared on his face as you dashed over too Elena and hugged her. And your friends. Seeing Klaus changed your mood incredibly. When it was all said and done after Jeremy was brought back too life. (By magic. Which you weren’t sure what happened. He just came back too life) you were sitting on the bleachers with Klaus looking at the football field that held up to be the graduation. Looking out at the field Klaus spoke up, “congratulations Y/N.”

Facing Klaus you smiled brightly reaching over grabbing his arm. “Thanks- and thank you for coming I was dreading this all month-having you here.. felt like I wasn’t alone.”

He smiled weakly as he spoke, “Still going on a grand adventure for a year?”

Nodding your head looking around, “with all the lies and descent and Death around here.the farer away the better.”

“glad too hear that.” Glancing over at Klaus he looked at you shifting too look at you better as he spoke “come with me.”

‘excuse me?”

He chuckled softly rubbing his neck, “Come with me too New Orleans, we all miss you. Especially Me.. Come with me. Let me show you the world. Music , the arts, History music. Let me share it with you.”

You grabbed his hand tightly as you spoke, “Only- if you promise it can be forever.” He squeezed back as he spoke, “you want too turn?”

“Maybe- If I want too.. can you. Be the one?” He nodded his head. You reached over hugging him tightly, “Don’t get your hopes up. On that. But take me with you Klaus. Don’t leave me behind again”

“okay.”

A year passed with learning that Klaus one night booty call got pregnant with. His baby. You and Elijah (who was madly in love with Hailey) you both were on pins and needles wondering how that would play out. You got a Job at a Bar- Mystic Falls was a training area for the big league for Vampires and werewolves and witches. A turf war was going on. The Mikaelson convinced each group that you weren’t involved. That you weren’t some Ploy you were human. So they mostly left you alone.

Klaus has been acting weird lately. You seen the good , the bad, and Now your seeing the awkward. You enter a room and he excuses himself, he spends. Little times around you. Rebecca said you were imagine it. But Elijah noticed and often talked too Klaus about it.

Hope was fussing so you were soothing her as she went back too sleep.

“You’re a natural.”

Turning too Klaus seeing him leaning against the door . You smiled as he walked over helping you put her down .

“do you want this…”

That surprised you. Turning too Klaus you shook your head. “I love Hope- but IM not.. Anywhere Close too being ready for a baby.. I don’t know if I want it. Why?”

“you asked too be changed.” “Maybe.” Correcting him he nodded his head. “If your changed.. you can’t have this..”

“ you impregnate a werewolf… Never say never.”

Klaus frowned hearing that as he spoke, “you know that was a fluke.”

Nodding your head weakly you turned too Klaus rolling your shoulders, “IM not thinking about having babies. Hell- I haven’t had a serious relationship… I’m far too young.-“ he nodded his head looking at Hope.

“is that why you been involving me lately? Your scared I want a baby. And too stay human?”

“I’m Not good..”

“I’ve seen you with Hope- your Goodness is there. Klaus- You shown it with me. From the beginning. You’re the kindest. Person I know. You tell me the truth even if it’s not Kind. But you know how much I appreciate the truth. That’s showing me kindness. Hope is so lucky too have you. I’m so happy too have you.”

“I want more.”

That surprised you as he rubbed his face, “I love you. Always have. Always will.. I want too be selfish and bite you and keep you..”

Nodding your head. You reached over grabbing his hand. “I love you too…I .. I’m not ready too give up my human status.. you okay with that?”

He nodded his head stepping over kissing you. You smiled kissing him back.

You knew eventually too keep. Klaus , Rebecca, Elijah you would have too change. But for Right now. You were happy.

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willowistic22 · 4 years ago

Note

*claps* spromeo angst spromeo angst spromeo angst let specs comfort his boy romeo this is probably a weird ask but whatever you made a post about wanting prompts lol

I can assure you i have sent other ppl weirder prompts AGNXGAHSHAVS I’ve left this and other prompt requests in my drafts bcs school gets in the way from me finishing it so sorry yall. There was two other prompts before this one was sent in but i was only inspired to write this one first for the time being. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Despite my hectic schedule with school, yall can still send in some requests! and as an extra note I love angst :) (idk if I’m any good at it. I think i’m kinda good at it but idk abt your opinions hehe)

Romeo sits in the midst of the messy boxes stored in the attic, dusty and old. His first intentions was to look for answers on his own. It didn’t took long, but the truth really stabbed his heart out.

His mind rewinds the events from yesterday. It was a normal day at the bakery after he finished his last class. His mother busy baking with the only other employee that came into work that day while Romeo was busy tending the customers.

He got to the last customer in the line, a man with a hood over his head but looks harmless. There isn’t much he can identify but he still could see a little strain of black hair falling off his head. It didn’t bother his brown eyes from starring intensely back at Romeo. He’ll admit, it’s very unsettling. Still, he pushes away the thought with a bright smile on display.

What the man said caught him off guard, “You don’t know me, but I’m your mother’s brother”

The voice was stern, a little breathless. He noted the slight Asian accent, the same one his mother has when she feels a certain way.

Romeo wasn’t sure how to turn this man away. He should’ve done that sooner, but curiosity had clouded his mind and stayed quiet with a visibly intrigued expression drawing the lines of his face.

The man took his silence as compliance and continues to explain. He only caught a few words before his hand got yanked away from the scene. Romeo’s mother stands in front of him to face the man. He can see the visible anger spewing in his mother, the only thing keeping the man alive was probably the cash register in between the two.

Romeo’s mother spoke in mandarin with the man. It didn’t matter if it was for the secrecy since Romeo also speaks mandarin.

“What are you doing here?!” The usual friendly accent his mother would use in this language has been replaced by a dangerous venom. It was the first time Romeo heard it and caused him to jump.

“I came here to see you!”

“That’s not what you said the last time!”

The other customers looked worried at the well being of the old lady who runs their beloved bakery, viciously arguing with a man in a language they don’t seem to understand. It causes a dilemma in them whether to break up the fight or let it be.

But Romeo understands. He stands still in the back, listening carefully to their argument and watch his mother’s back in case the man got out of line. His mother have always taught him to mind his own business, but Romeo can’t help eavesdrop the two.

With the knowledge Romeo has, everything they’re saying doesn’t make any sense. Though at the same time, it simultaneously does. The mysteries he’s always wondered in the past finally getting answered, but it only leads to more. He darts his eyes to whichever of the two was talking, taking in every word they throw at each other.

He was cut short by the other employee, asking Romeo for help to unload the huge oven full of freshly baked bread. He shakes out of his daze to get back to reality and walk in the kitchen, still keeping an ear open to keep listening to the argument.

It didn’t last very long. Probably after a few seconds, the argument stopped. His mother returned to her work as if nothing had happened, but stayed eerily quiet. Romeo would’ve asked for an explanation but thought it was better if he didn’t.

So now Romeo’s left to sit in the attic all alone. A single vintage paper loosely hanging in between his fingers with two lines caused by the neat folds. His sits on an old box, back hunched down to his knees. His loud breathing rings through his ears and fills the extra space of the attic.

“Knock, knock”

Romeo turns around towards the source of the semi-playful voice. Leaning on the door frame was a tall figure with the familiar comforting smile Romeo loves.

“Specs!” Romeo exclaimed, standing up to get to him whilst still holding on the paper from previously.

He crashes into his chest and reaches up to wrap his arms around his neck. Specs rests his arms around whatever body part he could reach to pull him closer. After realizing they’ve been lingering in this hug a little too long, Specs threads through his black hair. Typical Specs, always able to read the room.

“How’d you know I was here?” Romeo lifted his head.

“The others says you went straight to the bakery after your last class”

It was convenient his home is quite literally above his own workplace. So Specs figured it out quickly when he didn’t see Romeo behind the counter. Despite being a grown adult, Romeo chooses to stay in his childhood home only because he didn’t have the heart to leave his mother living alone. Plus, Romeo works at their bakery on the ground floor.

“You disappeared on me” Specs lightly said, still stroking his hair. He was expecting to see Romeo at Jacobi’s with the others, like where their friends usually hang out after class.

“Sorry, I meant to call. I just...” Romeo trailed off, pulling away from the hug. He gestures to the paper with minimal effort and a sorrowful face.

Specs takes note of the paper’s presence with an inquisitive face then drags his eyes back to Romeo, “Are you gonna tell me what’s goin’ on?”

Romeo smacks the paper to his chest, catching him off guard for a second before grasping it properly. Specs adjusts the position so he can get a proper look at what’s causing his boyfriend to be this upset, though can’t understand the writing.

Romeo wanders back further in the attic, dropping his head and sighs, “A guy came in yesterday, telling me that he was my uncle”

He turns around to face Specs again and sits in the same box as before he arrived, “Anyone could’ve done that but when ma started arguing with him... it just... sounds real”

The taller boy approaches him, sitting next to him on another box. Romeo instinctively rests his head on his shoulder. Specs wraps one arm around him, softly rubbing his shoulders as he waits for Romeo to find the words.

“He was saying things about how they missed her and they want her to come home” Romeo explained, still not sounding sure with what he’s saying.

“’They’?”

“Her family”

For as long as he knew Romeo, his only family is his mother and no one else. Specs stops his hand strokes, fully turning his head to face the shorter boy.

“I didn’t ask her to explain and end up finding my own answers” Romeo turns to pick up the paper he gave Specs and holds it up for the both of them to view it. Specs props his glasses up to examine it as Romeo continues on, “This was a letter from her family, a reply from the previous letter she sent”

“It’s basically saying something like.... ‘we don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, you’re a disgrace to the family for having a baby outside of wedlock”

They fell silent after that. Romeo drops the letter in his hand to the ground and burying his face into his palms. Specs pulls him closer to his chest and wraps both of his arms around him. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, the only sound filling the room is Romeo’s breathing.

“Are you okay?” Specs looks down, keeping his grip firm around his torso

Romeo drops his hands down on his lap, revealing a little redness in the corner of his eyes. Specs can see the little droplets of water nearly watering the dark brown color in his eyes. He sighs out, “I don’t know...”

He fully turns to face Specs and crashes back into his chest, gently wrapping his arms around his torso. Specs moves one hand up to thread through Romeo’s hair, while the other keep a tighter grip around him. He stayed quiet despite feeling trickling water staining his shirt. A few sniffles soon followed which he answers with a kiss to Romeo’s hair and resting his chin on his head.

Romeo pulls his face away from Specs’ chest just by an inch. He tugs on his boyfriend’s shirt a little as he looks up to face him and sniffles, “I just... I can’t stop thinking of... the idea that...”

His voice got stuck in the tightness of his throat and continues to sob instead of continuing on what he was going to say. Specs gently wipes his tears down his cheeks and pulls him closer. Romeo’s head now resting on his chest again as Specs rocks them and thread through his hair again.

“... I was the reason why my mother doesn’t have a family” Romeo whispers though his sniffles, “She wouldn’t have gotten outcasted if it weren’t for me”

Specs brings a hand to cup his cheek, pulling his face up for him to view it clearly, “Is that how you see it?”

Romeo just sniffles while Specs wipes the rest of the tears away with his thumb.

“It’s crazy how many possibilities we could think of if we skip a certain event from our past” Specs said, “Things definitely would’ve been different if you aren’t here”

Romeo stays quiet, wiping another tear falling down his cheek.

“Your mother would’ve stayed in Singapore and have never opened this bakery in the first place” Specs started, the gentle voice soothes Romeo’s ears, “She wouldn’t have met you... And neither would I”

Specs smiles, warming Romeo’s heart instantly. Though, it isn’t enough to pull his smile back up yet.

“Her reality is right here, right now. Making the choice to raise you while running her very own bakery” Specs continues on, “And I don’t believe she regrets it. You can’t exactly fake happiness”

He pulls Romeo by the cheeks gently, placing a kiss on his forehead and parting his lips with a sweet noise at the end. He looks back down to the boy, “And I’m glad she gave me the opportunity to fall in love with her son”

Romeo sniffles out a small smile, though the sadness hasn’t left his heart. He lets himself be envelop by Specs’ warmth once again. But now, his breathing is following the pace of Specs’ heartbeat and his eyes has ran out of water to leak out.

Eventually, he’ll have to face his mother again. He hasn’t seen her since this morning, and he even purposely skipped breakfast to get away from the awkward tension on the dining table. He still has questions that needs to be answered from his mother. But that’s a problem he doesn’t have to deal with till later on. Right now, Romeo’s glad that Specs came here looking for him when he disappeared from their friends.

Romeo’s glad he’s given the opportunity to fall in love with Specs.

#newsies #drabble requests #spromeo #spromeo newsies #specs newsies #romeo newsies #yes so i headcanon romeo to be singaporean #and his only family is his mom #never knew any other family #so yeah #i hope that's ok it's pretty personal headcanon heavy #hehe

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silver-wield · 5 years ago

Text

The Promise Analysis (Cloti)

Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol

So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.

As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.

Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.

In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.

Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.

So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.

Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.

Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.

GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!

If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.

We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.

Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.

Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.

Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).

Where was I?

Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.

From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol

What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.

Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.

Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down.

Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol

Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.

He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.

Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.

Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!

Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”

Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.

Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.

I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)

Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.

Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.

Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.

I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.

And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.

But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.

And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.

From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.

And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.

At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.

Conclusion

This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.

Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.

And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?

After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.

She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.

The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.

And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.

He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.

That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home.

This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #cloti #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #the promise #Cloud Strife #Tifa Lockheart

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