#but she's my absolute disaster child and i would do anything for her

[mcrcki]

Was that [PENELOPE MITCHELL]? Oh no no, that was just [MARLENE MCKINNON], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [HARRY POTTER]. They are [TWENTY ONE] years old, use [SHE/HER], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here -

marlene’s been in dc for almost five years now. so while her information says twenty one for plotting purposes, she’s actually closer to twenty six now.

what is your character’s job -

she currently owns a bar with her father, ewan mckinnon! she does enjoy her job but she also feels like she could be doing more with her life. like there is more to her life than just pour drinks all day. i think keep debating the secret service, but everything say “no gun marlene” so. lame. she might end up becoming some kind of teacher too, i think she’d be great at that, but we’ll see.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom -

marlene is pulled right after she’s died, so late july 1981. her last memory is travers’ killing curse flying at her.

has any magic affected your character -

she’s been brought back from the dead a couple times now, both from england and then after an event. she died in james’ arms during the island event and both of them still refuse to talk about it. trauma just goes away if you bury it , right??? but for now, she’s got her memories and everything is totally cool!

extra information -

alright here’s where i’m going to get wordy and ramble !!! bear with me while i gush about my disaster daughter.

background :

sixth child to maddie and ewan mckinnon, the youngest daughter of the mckinnon children. has a younger brother oliver (we’ll get into that dw), and five older sisters ; marina, abi, esther, cleo, and felicity. marlene is also very much the kind of person to consider her friends her family, so you won’t be able to miss hearing her calling lily, dorcas and mary her sisters.

fully pureblood family, but they are not in the pureblood society. marlene hasn’t asked questions about it. she’s perfectly happy being a blood traitor and wears it with pride.

the family is pretty evenly spilt with houses, considering marlene, ewan and fliss are gryffindor, oliver and esther being hufflepuffs, abi, maddie, marina being slytherin and then cleo being the odd one out in ravenclaw. 

she has an absolute insane phobia of flying and will do everything in her power to never get on a broom. shout out to dad for dropping her off of one at four !

is so fiercely loyal to her family, or at least the ones that she can be loyal to anymore. they’re always her first thought and even though she has her secrets, she thinks that she’s protecting them by keeping them all at arms length.

gryffindor through and through. the absolute epitome of blind bravery and loyalty.

honestly if you had to assign deadly sins to her, she’d be pride without any shadow of a doubt.

will die for her friends. has died for her friends. would do it all over again without a second though.

would be the friend you call to bail you out of jail, but unfortunately she’s probably in jail with you, or is calling you first.

got into way too many fights in school, mcgonagall probably had letters written mad libs style for the mckinnon household in her office with the amount of time she spent in detention.

was the girl to throw the parties in the common room, even if she hated playing quidditch, she loved celebrating a gryffindor win.

had decided very early on into hogwarts that she would be joining the order. she was probably only 13 or 14 when her mind was fully made up. it made it harder for her to focus on school at that point, having done rather poorly on her o.w.l.s outside of dada and charms. she was also mostly focused on dueling club for the majority of school. anything she could do to prepare her for joining she was going to do. why did she need to worry about a job after, there was a war to win.

went into the order the moment she was off the train after hogwarts. she mentored under alastor moody during her time there, having absorbed all she could from him, a second father figure when she started to distance from her own for their safety.

she moved out of the mckinnon manner right as things started to heat up, living fully at headquarters by the start of 1981. it felt safer that way.

she also didn’t want her parents worrying if she didn’t make it home at night, if she was sometimes away for days on end. or showing up battered and bruised after a mission. marlene has always been one to run head first into danger and think about the action later, consequences didn’t have much immediate damage so she never thought to worry about them. it’s unfortunately something she’s still got now even years later. will always act first and think later.

i won’t hurt yall with talking about the mckinnon death again, feel free to read the death para if you’re interested in what went down that night in july. i do have to update it a little with new names and all that jazz but the gist is there lmao

life in dc :

like i said she’s been here for almost five years so she’s gone through a lot.

currently living in a flat on her own, which she doesn’t mind really, but she really misses the comfort of living with so many people. she’s not used to solitude, considering how big her family is, and then living in dormitories, then the order house-- she misses having people around and absolutely crashes at her friends’ homes more than she should so she isn’t alone.

she will say, she’s got some not so great secrets, but she’s trying her best to be more forthcoming with her family and friends. about almost everything.

she has made sure that everyone knows about her brother oliver. the issues marlene is personally dealing with, nothing to worry about. focus on the traitor boy.

oliver, the youngest of the mckinnons, was secretly aligned with the death eaters (for his own reasons that marlene actively ignores because the second she hears death eater her vision goes red). oliver is the reason the death eaters knew marlene would be home that fateful night, and had unknowingly brought down the entire mckinnon line with one comment.

marlene will not forgive this. she can’t. she doesn’t know how. she’s spent the better part of five years blaming herself for everything, for allowing her family to ever be hurt and now knowing that she was not the one to shoulder all of the guilt, she doesn’t know how to really process that.

she couldn’t sleep for weeks at a time, had started to develop a drinking problem, was constantly being eaten away at by her guilt. it’s hard to just switch that off but if she can put that blame somewhere else, she will.

might be why she’s acting out.. see below for that ::

if you have seen anything with marlene you know she’s an absolute queen of getting into situations she should never be in, and putting her foot in her mouth the second she does.

she used to hook up with rita skeeter, she’s fought with rabastan, squared up to bellatrix without a wand, is currently trying to keep travers’ attention on her so he stays focused on her and not her family, and most of those fights were done without a wand in her hand.

she got her ass kicked by bellatrix, who then went and snapped her wand post fight. so. she’s doing great. promise.

she’s gotten it back so it’s FINE but man she really doesn’t want to talk about it. it’s probably the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to her here in the city. 

honestly, marlene has spent most of the time just bottling all of this stuff up, because she refuses to let anyone worry about her and is going to figure out how to fix this without adding any stress to the rest of the marauders. they all have enough to deal with instead of cleaning up after marlene’s dumbassery.

the mckinnon messes are ones she will deal with on her own. even if she doesn’t really know how yet, she’s going to fix it all, or go absolutely insane trying!!!! at least she’s got a good concealer to cover up those dark circles from not sleeping.

right now, she’s just a mess. idk what to tell you. can’t handle herself, will keep getting into fights, because if she shies away from them? they’ll catch on for something being off.

anyways that’s my idiot child im so sorry

connections 

✩ co workers / employees

marlene is the co-owner of a bar downtown with her father, ewan mckinnon, so if you’re looking for a job, feel free to come hit her up with your resume. girl will hire anyone atm, just so she can get a day off

✩ regulars

again, she spends a lot of the time at her job, so she definitely would know people who also are there a ton.

or even someone who just stopped in once or twice and they hit it off

✩ friends !!

friends from when she was unaware, friends from work, from other odd jobs she’s had, people she’s met while out

honestly she’s a huge advocate for friendship and having a lot of them and all that jazz and she is a ton of fun to be around. she absolutely is the kind of person to just adopt friends immediately and bring you into the fold so if you need a friend she’s your gal

✩ any former roommate or a current roommate

marlene has been in the city for nearly four years, and she has moved around the city a few times so she definitely could have had a few roommates.

would love a current one as well!!

would absolutely be down to have had a former roommate and run with that idea. maybe they still live there, maybe they didn’t get along and there’s tension, what have you !!

✩ any marauders era / order characters

listen girl still longs for the vibes of home, has debated restarting the order on her own here, so if you have a character that might be interested please, come hit her up.

she also has big aunt vibes and would 100% be down to take any of the younger gen under her wing. is she chaotic? yes. should she have any kids she mentors? absolutely not. will she do it anyways? you bet your ass.

✩ exes / ex hook ups / flings

marlene has been in the city for over four years now, she is no homebody saint so she absolutely would have been on some casual dates, like friends with benefits kind vibe. open to anyone ( marlene is pan )

[redroomreflections]

Something With Sea Turtles

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

A Family Of Her Own AU

(Natasha has a secret family)

Summary: Pregnant R and Natasha loves on her.

Natasha is good at many things. Intimidating bad guys, disappearing without a trace, dismantling a firearm in seconds. Painting walls? Well, that’s a skill she’s still figuring out.

She had insisted on painting the nursery walls for the arrival of your little one in a few months. It was supposed to be a nice bonding experience. But, as with most things involving the two of you, it had quickly turned into a bit of a disaster.

"You said this would be easy," You teased from your spot on the floor, perched on a pile of cushions Natasha had painstakingly arranged for your comfort. Your hand rested on your growing belly as you watched her, amusement tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Natasha stood on a step stool, paint roller in hand, squinting at the wall. She was trying her best to create a soft, underwater gradient—blues and greens swirling together like an aquarium, the perfect theme for your baby’s nursery. But the brush strokes were uneven, and there was a smudge where she got a little overzealous with the darker blue.

"It is easy," she replied, her tone stubborn. "I’m just… experimenting with technique."

"Right," You muttered to yourself. "We could just hire someone."

"No!" She exclaimed, then, more gently: "No. I want to do this."

And, honestly, she did. The baby wasn't a shock by any means. Natasha had been dreaming about this day since the first time she fell in love with you. She had planned every detail down to the color of the paint, but when it came time to do the actual painting, she wanted nothing more than to do it herself.

"I know, but we don't even know if our baby will like water or animals..." You reached into your lap to open a bag of chips. "What if they hate all this ocean stuff?"

"If our baby hates all of this ocean stuff, then we'll just paint over it," Natasha lowered her paintbrush to glance back at you. "When did you become such a pessimist?"

"It's called being realistic."

Natasha huffed and dipped the roller in the pan, then continued her work.

"You're supposed to be relaxing."

"I can't relax when I have paint splattered all over my clothes," You gestured to the splotches of green and blue across your sweatshirt. "I'll never get these stains out."

Natasha glanced over her shoulder at you and smiled softly.

"Well, if you remove your clothes, I promise I'll be gentle."

"You're a dork," You chuckled. "And I'm not stripping in front of the baby."

"The baby's not even born yet."

"Still."

"Fine, then how about I strip for you," Natasha wiggled her hips and hummed playfully. "How's that for relaxation?"

"Tempting, but maybe you should finish the wall before we do anything else," You said. You looked down at the sweater to tug it over your belly. It seemed a bit tight these days. "Do you think I'm getting too big for this?"

"Your shirt?"

"Yeah, I mean... I feel like my stomach is stretching the fabric."

"Hmmm," Natasha mused. "Well, I'd say it looks pretty good."

"Good?"

"Perfect," She smiled to herself. "Absolutely perfect."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Of course."

"You're not lying to me right?" You tilted your head.

"When have I ever lied to you, Y/n?"

"A bunch of times actually," You raised a brow. "I was your superior."

"That doesn't count. Besides, it's my job."

"Your job is to tell me the truth," You sighed. "Do my boobs look too huge?"

"What? No!" She turned on the stool, her brows furrowed in confusion.

"But I've grown a size," You frowned, running a hand over your breasts. "You should be telling me to cover up."

"Are you crazy?" She asked, her eyes wide. "Y/n, you're carrying our child; I think you're allowed to dress comfortably. Also, I'm not complaining about your breast size."

"Yeah, but—"

"Listen," She set the paint roller down and stepped off the stool, "You're beautiful. Okay? And your tits are a part of that. You know, they're like an extra gift from the universe."

"Extra gift?"

"Like I'm already grateful for our baby," She said. "But then, your boobs get bigger, and, you know, I'm a very appreciative person."

"You won't be able to touch them for a while," You reminded her.

"I'm willing to wait."

"And I'm going to have stretch marks."

"So?"

"And my stomach will look weird and puffy," You sighed. "I mean, it's not going to go away."

"I don't care," she said. "Y/n, none of that matters. You're giving us a baby."

You were about to make a joke about how much it would probably hurt to push something the size of a melon out of your vagina, but when you saw the look in her eyes, your smile faded. She was so earnest, and suddenly, you felt guilty for not appreciating everything she was saying.

"Sorry," You said.

"For what?"

"Not listening to you," You shrugged.

"Don't apologize," Natasha walked toward you, then knelt beside your spot on the pillows. "I get it. There are days when I feel like I'm losing my mind. But, no matter what, you'll always be my favorite thing to look at."

"Nat," You grinned.

"Seriously," She smiled back. "And I'm gonna tell you that every single day until the end of time."

"Well, you'll be busy painting."

"Then, I'll paint it on the wall," She winked.

"God, I love you," You murmured, leaning forward to kiss her.

"Love you too," She replied, her breath warm against your lips. "Both of you."

"Now, go back to painting before you ruin it." You gestured. "I can kind of see the vision for the whale."

"See? That's what I'm talking about. I'm making art."

"Do you mind taking a breath to come rub this on my belly?" You gestured to the container of cocoa butter next to you.

"Of course," Natasha grabbed the tube, and unscrewed the cap. Then, she squeezed a generous amount onto her palm and set the bottle aside.

"You know," She began, "what you said earlier. I hope you don't believe that about yourself. That I won't find you attractive."

"No, I don't, not really," You shrugged. "It's just hard sometimes. My brain goes all crazy and my hormones are making me all weepy. But, I have you. And, you're not going anywhere, right?"

"Of course not."

"Good," You murmured. "'Cause I don't think I'd last long without you."

"Don't say that," She said, her voice quiet.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing," She scolded. "You'll be fine. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Now, can we focus on the positive? Like, for example, the fact that you're pregnant."

"I am pregnant."

"You are." She rested her hands on your belly. She began to rub the cocoa butter in circular motions against your skin. "You look so good like this."

"Really?"

"Yeah," She smiled, looking down at her hands pressing against the curve of your abdomen. She was so gentle with the bump. "This is exactly what I always imagined."

"What did you imagine?"

"A cute wife who was carrying my child," She smirked. "I guess I've always had a fantasy about having a family of my own."

"Well, you're living the dream." You grinned at her. For a second there wasn't much talking until you felt a slight movement inside of you. "She's awake."

"Really?" Natasha looked down.

"Yeah," You said. "Can you feel her?"

"Um, well," Natasha hesitated. "I mean, not really."

"Here," You reached down and took her hand, guiding it a bit further up your belly. "There. Do you feel that?"

"I—" Natasha paused, and then, she felt it, a faint movement against her hand. "Yeah?"

"Whenever you're near she gets to moving," You point out. "I think she recognizes your voice already."

A soft, surprised laugh escaped Natasha’s lips as she watched her hand rest against your belly, her expression melting into something softer than usual. She didn't pull her hand away. Instead, she let it linger, her thumb tracing circles on your skin.

"I think she’s already got me wrapped around her finger," she murmured, her voice full of affection and wonder. "Just like her mother."

"That's how it starts."

"Oh, is that a warning?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She leaned forward to kiss your belly. Then, she rested her cheek against your skin. "I couldn't be any happier than in this moment."

"That's good," You brushed her hair from her forehead, stroking her scalp gently. "But, just so you know, when I'm back on my feet, I'm kicking your ass for making me paint a sea turtle."

"Hey," she said, her tone playful. "You're the one who agreed to help."

"I regret everything."

[sunshine-jesse]

Ashley Graves Did Something Wrong

TCOAL plays a lot of fun games with the ways it makes you perceive events. From the title screen itself, to various pieces of official art, it primes you to accept certain narratives surrounding the game. Namely, the one that Ashley is very not good. She is, in fact, very bad! And it's pretty easy to see why- many of her actions fit neatly into the mold of an abuser. She's controlling, she tries to deflect blame, gaslights Andrew into making him take the blame for things she pushed him to do to begin with, and harasses other women to ruin his relationships with them.

It's all so easy, and makes so much sense. Case closed.

Right? Well, no. But actually yes! But actually, it's not that simple.

Y'see, as I said, the game establishes this framing from the get-go. It introduces us to our, uh, heroes and tells us in no uncertain terms that Ashley is bad and Andrew is a non-entity. It sets this framing intentionally so that many players will engage in a little quirk of human psychology called…

Confirmation bias!

I'm sure we all know what that is, right? Well, for those who don't, it's when we start with a bias towards something- or an idea of how things SHOULD be- and view every piece of evidence as confirmation that said bias is correct. The game, very blatantly, does this with Ashley's actions by priming us to see them as part of an abuse dynamic, with her as the primary abuser. And, indeed, it's not too hard to dig into Andrew's behavior and figure out that he, too, is fucked up and awful and come to the conclusion that their relationship was mutually fucked up and abusive. I did that in my last two essays, so I won't cover that ground again here. With this, it's easy to think that they bring out the worst in each other and that any relationship they have would be toxic, fucked up, dark, and every other word or phrase that describes the same idea, whether it makes them happy or not.

… But what if I told you that this, too, was an intentional misdirection?

So. Let us, for a moment, completely remove the framing that their relationship is toxic. Let us remove the framing that their relationship is abnormal or aberrant. Let's even remove the framing that either one of them is responsible for the harm of the other. I'm not arguing that any of this is not the case. Please, for the love of god, do not think that I am, if only so you can take the rest of what I have to say seriously. What I'm doing is trying to examine the two of them free of as many preconceptions as I can, using nothing but textual evidence and inference to figure out why Andrew and Ashley treat each other the way they do.

I will later examine why they MIStreat each other too, but first comes the reasons they treat each other well.

I'm going to start with Andrew, because, despite being the more complex of the two, it's actually pretty easy to figure out why he treats Ashley the way he does based on what he says. Let's go all the way back to the earliest known incident between the two in the story, where the two of them were at their most, uh, "pure," for lack of a better word: The cupcake scene.

Leyley was supposedly a problem child. She was neglected by her parents, disliked by her friends, and had nobody else but Andrew to rely on. She got nothing- absolutely nothing- from anyone else. And so, Andrew decided to celebrate her birthday, by buying her the cupcakes she wanted, by giving her what she lacked from others. By providing for her, and taking care of her. All he wanted was to make her happy, more than anything else. And, as Nina learned the hard way, at the expense of everyone else.

He doesn't lack empathy, per se. Andy just loves Leyley more than he loves anyone else by such a wide margin that his desire to provide for her overrides his fear of consequences… until those consequences threaten to separate the two of them.

That is a very Gender Roles thing to do. More on that later.

So. Ashley. Everyone's favorite disaster. Why does she treat Andrew the way she does? What does she provide for him? Well, isn't it obvious? She, too, wants to provide for him. Remember, she wanted the lemon cupcake because she thought it's what HE wanted. She also does most of the chores around the house. She prepares food, cleans the house, and does their laundry. She also provides for his non-sexual physical needs by offering him comfort whenever he needs it. It makes her feel useful. Wanted. Needed.

Ah, another very Gender Roles thing to do. See where I'm going with this?

The two neatly fit into a standard husband/wife relationship in a lot of ways. It's THE platonic ideal of such a relationship, actually! They make each other happy and provide WHAT THEY THINK the other really wants. It's really cute and perfect! As long as you ignore all the bad.

ignore all the bad …ignore all the bad… But we obviously shouldn't ignore all the bad. That would be ridiculous.

What I want to do is, instead, examine where the bad comes from, and why it's there. With the abuser/abused dynamic in mind, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that a mutual desire for control and power over the other is the sole determining factor. It's arguably the Central Theme of the game, and maybe a big part of what Nemlei is trying to convey. But, like, why should it end there? Why should that be where the analysis ends? There's a reason for everything.

They don't want to control each other for its own sake. They don't want to control each other solely to cover their own insecurities.

So why?

Ashley, first. She's obviously an insecure little monster, having never received the validation that she needs to really come into her own as a person. She keeps seeking it. Keeps trying to provide for Andrew. Keeps trying to make herself useful. Now, let's look at her calls towards Julia:

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't?"

Ah, wait, hold on a minute.

"You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that."

Where does that wording come from?

"He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything."

She doesn't need validation just for the sake of her insecurities. She needs it because she needs Andrew to be happy, and in her mind, she's the only one who can provide it. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see how happy she seems to make him, and that nobody else can do what she does. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she makes Andrew more comfortable than anyone. She knows how important physical affection is to him. She can feel it. She doesn't lack empathy towards his plight or feelings; she has more of it than anyone, actually!

But Andrew, crucially, never seems to provide her any validation for this, even though she knows better. That's why she's so insecure.

"But wait," you might say, "didn't he, literally, fucking kill for her?"

Yes. But he always tries to place the blame on Ashley or use her as a scapegoat, when he was the one who pulled the trigger. He never accepts even the smallest amount of responsibility. And if a man can't even take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others, what does that say about him? What does it say about how much he actually cares? oh. more gender roles. huh.

In Ashley's mind, that validation isn't validation because he didn't do it to prove he cared about her. He did it to shut her up. And… he never says anything to the contrary. He refuses to. All his validation is depressingly, overbearingly conditional.

His words always come with a caveat. They're always said in spite of something. They lack warmth. They lack kindness. They lack affection. She is never, ever given a key to lock the door to her insecurities…

…even though Andrew obviously has that key. He just refuses to give it to her.

But why?

Society! :D

There is something so fundamentally, obviously wrong with the way Andrew feels towards Ashley. She is a tar soul. A pariah. So horrid that her parents don't want her, so obviously bad that even demons don't want her. And yet Andrew, in spite of everything, still wants her. He wants to take care of her, when society tells him not to bother. He wants to protect her from other men, and even from herself. It manifests as jealousy because…

He, too, thinks the only one qualified to provide for Ashley is himself, because he was the only one who ever had. Violence comes so naturally to him that he takes it for granted. He kills for her, threatens to physically assault her when he thinks she's putting herself in danger.

It's so second nature to him that he thinks it should obviously be enough. But it isn't. His violence is so second nature as to be passive. It's non-committal. And what Ashley wants is committment.

But because of how society views Ashley, and how the world would view a romantic relationship between them, he can't truly commit to her. He can't give her the validation she really needs, because everything and everyone has told him that it's wrong. That she's wrong. And all his parents ever taught him is to be afraid of how others will react to that wrongness.

hey look, a man fearing the commitment a woman wants from him! more gender stereotypes!! I wonder what this game is trying to say!!!

Maybe I'm crazy or something. Maybe I'm just looking into it too deep. But I don't really care. I don't care if this is the intended reading, and neither should you. The fact of the matter is that most of the things that define them as toxic are not their fault. Most of the reasons they mistreat each other come from without, rather than within. The only reason they can't love each other is because the world tells them not to. Because it expects them to fill certain roles, to be certain people.

But Ashley can only ever be herself.

Maybe someone who's an actual expert on this subject matter could weigh in and give a true feminist reading. But me? I'm just here to point out patterns. I'm just here to point out facts. And one of those facts is that, to the world around her, Ashley did something wrong: She was born.

The Steam reviews of this game are fucking funny, but a lot of them say one thing that couldn't be further from the truth:

"I can fix her!"

No, you can't. She's only 'broken' in the context of her environment.

But in the words of another analyst:

It's madness to expect tar to behave like water.

So cut them some slack! They might finally succeed in a world that wanted nothing more than for them to fail. It's not our right to take that away from them.

[hardly-an-escape]

Square: B2 - FREE SPACE

Title: "would you go along with someone like me?" (ch. 2)

Rating: T

Ship: Dream/Hob

Warnings: No archive warnings apply

Additional Tags: college AU, non-traditional college students, don’t worry they’re actual grownups, poet Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, history student Hob Gadling, referenced character death, rating will go up in later chapters, more tags to be added

Summary: Hob is a freshman history major and a first generation college student, while Morpheus is completing a graduate degree poetry. When they're crammed into a small room together due to a shortage of on-campus housing, it seems like an odd couple situation at best and a recipe for disaster at worst. But as the months go by, mutual respect turns into real friendship. And then... something happens that Hob never expected.

Link to AO3.

another @dreamlingbingo fill! I know it's been over a year since I posted the first chapter of this fic. I know. I'm sorry. I will try to make sure it takes less than a year to post chapter three.

October blew in, blustery and bright. The campus glowed with autumnal light. In the long, cool afternoons it would bounce between windows and gild granite columns. It even illuminated the study carrels in the fourth floor stacks of the undergraduate library, turning dim and dusty rooms into little pockets of brightness and learning and hope.

There were rainy days, too, but even they seemed apt and atmospheric; it wasn’t cold or dark enough yet for the grey days to be truly dismal, so the inclement weather was still more a novelty than anything else. A good excuse to spend the extra dollar on a hot mocha and wear one’s favorite cozy sweater.

Hob was either hugely elated or fantastically depressed, depending on – well, it could be anything. The weather, the grade on his latest paper, the relative freshness or staleness of the bagels in the history department, the phase of the bloody moon. On some level he knew it was just emotional whiplash from throwing himself into the deep end of academia after so many years spent in unacademic pursuits, but on his harder days he was beginning to think the hormonal soup of his young undergraduate classmates was rubbing off on him somehow.

On one such day, Hob returned to their tiny dorm room, dropped his bag on the floor, and faceplanted on his narrow bed with a heartfelt groan.

Morpheus was in his usual spot – perched on his desk chair and curled into a position that should not have been possible for his thirty-something spine and hips – and did not look up from his notebooks at Hob’s flop.

Hob groaned again.

“I imagine you want me to ask you what’s wrong,” Morpheus said, still not looking up.

“I am a fool,” Hob said dismally. “A fool and a buffoon. A nincompoop, even.” He pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Sometimes I wonder what I’m even doing here, mate, I really do. I mean who am I kidding? I’m almost thirty two years old and I’m sitting in these fresher history lectures and fucking Stephanie is running rings around me. Have I told you about Stephanie? She’s nineteen. Nineteen, Morpheus. We have, like, three classes together, and she’s kicking my arse, she has her entire career planned out, all the way to a Ph-bloody-D, and I can’t remember whether ‘Ottoman’ has one T or two.”

“Two.”

“I know that, you insufferable git, I’m trying to have an existential crisis here.”

“Ah. And is that happening concurrently with your one-sided competition with a child? Or does one precede the other?”

Hob raised his head enough to stick his tongue out at Morpheus. Something he’d learned about his roommate over the past few weeks – something their dorm neighbors and many (if not most) of Morpheus’s classmates didn’t quite seem to understand – was that Morpheus could actually be screamingly funny at times. The problem was that his humor was so bone dry, his delivery so absolutely deadpan, that it was difficult to tell the difference between the times he was being funny by accident, the times he was being funny on purpose, and the times he was actually being deadly serious and would be incredibly offended if people misinterpreted his words as some kind of joke.

Hob had already been on the receiving end of his irritation more than once, usually through pure misunderstanding. He knew he had a puppylike tendency to assume that everyone was his best friend until proven otherwise; Morpheus clearly had a tendency to assume exactly the opposite. The very first time Hob, barely a week into their shared existence, had asked if the other man wanted to get lunch together some time and help each other study, Morpheus had bristled so severely that he looked like a porcupine and claimed that he had no interest in either food or company.

He’d never apologized, per se. But later than night, the sandwich Hob had smuggled back from the dining hall in his jacket pocket and left in their dorm-sized fridge, labeled with Morpheus’s name on a sticky note, had mysteriously disappeared.

Much worse had been the time Hob, in one of his occasional fits of organization and cleanliness, had dared to tidy Morpheus’s desk.

He’d been on a roll – had done his laundry (and put it away!), and changed his sheets, and swept, and tidied up the shoes and jackets in the tiny shared alcove that passed for their hall closet, and then he’d turned his attention to the built-in desk that spanned one full wall of their little room. Hob’s half was always a bit messy, with some piles of notes and one or two books left haphazardly open to key pages he was certain to return to at the right moment. But Morpheus’s side looked like a bomb had gone off. He always had at least four or five notebooks on the go, plus what might be described as a small mountain of poetry anthologies, chapbooks, and photocopied coursepacks. The corner where the desk met the wall contained a veritable snowdrift of various ephemera: scraps of paper, receipts, dried flowers, bottle caps inexplicably labeled with dates and locations, labels carefully peeled off of beer bottles, a scant handful of beads and other shiny bits and pieces, and a single earring that looked like some bright young thing had lost it on her way to the club.

And Hob wasn’t stupid. He knew Morpheus could be a little prickly about his space and his things. Protective might be a better word. He supposed it was a side effect of growing up with a bunch of siblings; though he was an only child himself, Eleanor had had an older sister, and had told many tales of epic battles over favorite shirts and library books and other such treasures. So hadn’t thrown anything away. He’d moved it all aside and dusted and wiped, and then shuffled the papers into a neat stack, set the books against the windowsill in a semblance of order, and collected the ephemera in a little plastic basket that had been in the share box in the common room. He thought, when he was done, that it had still looked pleasantly cluttered – just less like a tornado had gone through their little room.

He hadn’t been expecting praise. He already knew better than that. But he also hadn’t been expecting Morpheus to project a wall of furious silence for the several days.

It got so bad that he’d spent half an hour hunting through the “ethnic” aisle of the grocery store to see if he could find any English sweets with which to mollify his roommate. The closest he’d gotten was a Ritter Sport with whole hazelnuts and a packet of Canadian potato chips, both of which sat, unacknowledged and uneaten, on Morpheus’s side of the desk for nearly a full day before being shoved unceremoniously back over to Hob’s side while he was in a lecture.

Hob started to consider emailing Teleute (who had given him her business card before she’d flown back to London) on the fourth day, just to ask exactly what level of unforgivable sin he’d committed, and whether any penance could possibly absolve him of it.

He was, luckily, saved from the indignity of asking his roommate’s sister how to circumvent his little temper tantrum, and by none other than Morpheus himself.

He got home after a lecture one day to find Morpheus perched nervously on the edge of his bed, a bottle of Bass beer clutched nervously between his knees.

Hob shucked off his shoes and tossed his bag on his own bed before flopping down, legs akimbo. The room was so small that if he and Morpheus both stretched their legs out, their ankles would probably touch in the space between their narrow beds.

“Hello, Hob,” Morpheus said formally.

“Morpheus,” Hob said. “Talking to me again, then, are you?”

Morpheus, to his credit, flushed slightly. “I would. That is. I have… I would like to apologize.”

Hob made an expansive sort of go ahead gesture and leaned back, waiting.

“I was talking last night with my sister – not Tel, whom you met, but my youngest sister. I was…” He ducked his head. “To be frank, I was complaining about you. About how you had tidied my desk and how much it upset me. She pointed out, quite rightfully, that it sounded like you were trying to help; trying to do something kind. She also pointed out that there have been several occasions when she herself has made an awkward or unwelcome choice in an effort to do the right thing. I… cannot argue with her logic.”

“I really was just trying to help,” Hob said. “If I promise never to touch your side of the desk again, will you stop ignoring me?”

Morpheus flushed again. “Yes. And I would extract no such promise from you. It was. Thoughtful.” That seemed to be a hair too much genuine emotion for the man, who stood abruptly and shoved the bottle of beer at Hob. “I have brought you this. A peace offering.”

“Thanks, mate. I –” Hob began, but Morpheus was already throwing on his peacoat and out the door in a whirl of black. “Okay. What a fucking weirdo.”

The beer was good, though. A taste of home. Hob picked the label off and left it on Morpheus’s side of the desk.

read on AO3 >>>

[stxrquotes]

yanqing & yunli except i headcanon yunli as audhd so it’s yanqing and his disaster gf

i’ve seen this one really really really sweet couple on insta, it’s a nt guy and his audhd wife and theyre so sweet. he takes the time to understand her and how their brains are different and it’s so lovely. anyways i kind of imagine yanli like that when their relationship develops more. especially because we got to see them outside of their squabbling in the last part of the tb quest—they work together well; they actually have grown to trust and respect each other (there’s also a dialogue if you choose to talk to yunli before confronting hoolay w/ feixiao where she compliments yanqing on his finishing atk and asks him to teach it to her—she even lightheartedly admits he might be stronger than her), and i feel that their trust and respect will only grow more with time. and of course they will always squabble and pick at each other

so to elaborate on audhd yunli, first off we all know how blunt and stubborn she is. her thinking is so straightforward that even her fighting style is “smash with big stick, everything die” (she prefers brute force over strategy or dexterity—doesn’t mean she can’t strategize, i just mean to point out that even in her fighting she gets straight to the point which i find amusing). i adore her so much my beautiful autistic daughter. special interest is swords. yanqing gets an honorable mention because he’s also obsessed with swords but i think he’s just a sword nerd who collects swords while yunli’s interest goes into the forging, the history, the personalities of the swords

yunli: we may both be obsessed with swords but i am obsessed with them in a much deeper and more autistic way than you could ever be

i have also considered though that yanqing could be headcanoned as having adhd; he’s impulsive, and i do still love the idea from pjo of demigods having an advantage in battle because of their adhd. reminds me of yanqing, he’s a hyperactive little dude bouncing all over the place in battle and idk. he’s also just. a teenage boy. so idk, remains to be determined

anyways i just hc that in all parts of yunli’s life except for anything having to do with swords she’s a complete mess and a ticking time bomb. everything in her room is a mess—except her swords (and old mettle is given the most pristine treatment). she’ll ignore any expectations put upon her unless it has to do with swords or something else she’s a little interested in. she has a few safe foods she eats on rotation in mass amounts.

also im imagining her in school and all i can picture is the leg bounce and the thousand yard stare. +10000 aura she doodles swords on all her papers. every project where students are given enough creative liberty and freedom to choose their topic, you fucking bet yunli is going to talk about swords in one way or another. idk how school works on the xianzhou zuming or frankly anywhere in hsr, but i guess that doesnt matter and i dont really care

also her sense of justice and tunnel vision with cursed swords. it’s so black and white to her (it has a lot to do with trauma ofc, but still i see that same kind of black/white thinking and extreme sensitivity to injustice as a trait on the spectrum).

i also would like to share headcanons about her sensorial and tactical development as a child lol. something about her screams sensory seeking. i use the korean voiceover, and i ADORE how they’ve voiced her and the direction they went. i haven’t listened to the english much, but from what ive heard she seems a lot more softspoken, which isn’t at all wrong or bad, it just is different than what i expected. in the kvo she’s got this monotone shrill going on that little girls with zero vocal control have and it’s fantastic. i hc she has no sense of volume whatsoever, can’t perceive her voice and doesn’t realize she’s shouting, things like that. it really fits with how she acted in her story quest, she’s just absolutely tone-deaf, both literally with her voice and figuratively with social cues, reading the room, etc.

practicing with old mettle has got to be so fucking loud, she’s throwing that shit around and it’s going CLANG CLANG CLANG and there’s no way she doesn’t have massive tolerance to high sensory input. for kids who are on the extreme end of high sensory needs, they’ll sometimes just seek out loud noises constantly, and of course, won’t realize it might be disruptive to others because they don’t even feel like it’s loud. so yeah yunli stims by throwing swords around because hell yeah. the fucking CLANG CLANG CLANG regulates her nervous system i just know it🗣️🔥

while some people are just born with dif sensory needs/issues, they can also develop due to your sensory experience, or lack thereof, as a child. kids who weren’t held/interacted with enough might have difficulty with lots of sensory input, while on the other hand (i dont know this one for sure, i am making a guess) i would think that a lot of exposure to excess sensory input might cause that kid to develop high sensory needs.

and that’s what i think with yunli would be part of her sensory issues, whether or not we’re even talking about autism—she grew up in the forgery around all that constant noise, not to mention the traumatic cursed sword event which could have exacerbated the way all that affected her nervous system because it also messed with her emotions and trauma is stored in the body AND she was a child, yadda yadda :3

i could keep going but idk this has been in my drafts for so long bc i kept thinking of shit and i didnt even talk that much about yanli

the reason i see them as disaster gf and nt bf is because although we’ve seen yanqing being a little shit, so much of that is about his maturity level as he’s still a teen. i just feel it and can’t articulate it well, i just feel that he’s got a calm spirit in there somewhere and as he grows he’s going to become so measured and patient and self-disciplined and it’s fantastic i want to see him grow into a fine young man (i know we probably wont but i can imagine it😞). it feels like that’s the direction he’s going with all the development from the recent tb quest, not to mention the parallels he has with jingliu

i hope this makes sense to others and not just me, for some reason i really see them as the wholesome nd girl and nt boy unlikely wombo combo cause yanqing has so much spunk and fire and yunli has so much spunk and fire but neurodivergently and they just burst into flames around each other but as they grow older it will wane and they will fan it down into glowing embers, soft and warm in the hearth; yanqing will hold her explosive spirit in his hands so gently, he’ll admire and understand her like no one else because somehow he just gets her, and she thrives in his comforting warmth. and when yanqing’s spirit crumbles and he loses that warmth and loses faith in himself, yunli can remind him of his strength and reinstall his sense of justice; she also brings the fresh autistic perspective of carefree innocence and autonomy that i feel yanqing needs in times where he might be overwhelmed by expectations or outside opinions. i just ugh i just . i love them i am going to throw up they’re beautiful and i just think that autistic yunli being understood by neurotypical yanqing is something that is so important to. society at large ,

[checkoutmybookshelf]

From Criminial Mastermind to Fairy Tale Hero: The End of Artemis Fowl

Here we are, everyone: The final Artemis Fowl book. It has been a journey revisiting the first series I was old enough to follow and fandom, and it's wild to me that we're finally at the end. Especially since I picked up the first Artemis Fowl book in late elementary school (I'm genuinely not sure when though, because the first book came out in April of 2001, when I was in fifth grade and it's very possible I didn't pick the book up until sixth grade, which would have put me at 11, same age as Artemis in that first book) and the final book came out in 2012, when I was in my junior year of undergrad. So at that point, Artemis, Holly, and Butler had been part of my life for a long time. And now here we are, to say goodbye to them again after this leisurely re-listen/read. Let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian.

Artemis grew and changed so much across eight books, which makes sense because holy cow do kids change a LOT between 11 and 15. We get so busy living life in those years that we don't really think about how much we truly learn and grown between prepubescence and full-on teenagerhood, but that is a time of massive change, and I think that more than anything else really justifies how Artemis goes from a chillingly vampiric child to a teenager with enough compassion and empathy to understand that sometimes the right choice is a heroic self-sacrifice for the people that your people (both humans and the people, in this case) love. Artemis also did a really interesting version of that thing so many teenagers do where they hit a point where they can't just phone in their abilities anymore and have to actually put effort in, but for Artemis it was emotional rather than intelligence. And yet even when making said heroic sacrifice, we have the absolutely beautiful callback to the end of book one, where Artemis drugs his mother, Butler, and Juliet to keep them from being harmed by the bio-bomb. To stop Holly from preventing him from stopping Opal, Artemis sedates her. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Except where best villain ever Opal Koboi is concerned. By this book, Opal is so disconnected from reality that she is willing to risk literally going nuclear to escape captivity, and then just...casually sparks off the apocalypse because if there is one thing our girl wants, it's to be Empress of the World, and if that means using spirit zombies and an ancient fairy doomsday device, then I guess it's a good thing she's already versed in black magic. Or something. Opal is fully and completely off the rails at this point, and if you catch yourself referring to yourself as "Mommy" in reference to the spirits of several scores of ancient elven berserkers who would--barring a geas--murder you for it, you might want to stop and take a long, hard look at your life choices. And maybe don't forget that you've cloned yourself, because that's the kind of little detail that can completely ruin your chances of being Empress of the World.

Holly quite possibly deserves every medal that exists for managing to drag Artemis's extremely out-of-shape butt through increasingly dangerous and high-stakes missions while navigating fairy politics and *checks notes* breaking up with her commanding officer after a disastrous date where they both got kicked out of a crunchball match. (And once again...HOW DARE Colfer leave this in exposition and not show us this amazing disaster of a date!?!?) Holly has also just been through the emotional wringer with Artemis and every time he decided to double-cross or lie by omission to bring off a plan and every time he does something infuriatingly human that drives up her blood pressure and yet makes the mission succeed. And then she has to sit there and watch him die to save humans and fairies. Seriously, the fact that Holly Short is a functional being rather than a hot mess is nothing short of a miracle.

And then we come to Butler. Long-suffering, super fucking over it, broken-hearted Domovoi Butler. Artemis got DAMN lucky that the whole "put my spirit in a clone of me" plan panned out, because if it hadn't, Holly was entirely correct: Butler would never have recovered. Butler and Opal might be my two favorite characters in the entire series at this point. That's not where I started--for a very long time, Holly was my favorite character, and Commander Root still gets an honorable mention--but as a grown-ass adult (I'm not doing that math for you, if you want to know that I'm old, you do the math), I cannot escape how dedicated, competent, kind, and just AWESOME Butler is. I feel like the vibe here is very similar to the thing that happens when you watch Sound of Music as a kid and either Maria or one of the kids is your favorite character, but when you come back to it as an adult, Captain Von Trapp is EVERYTHING (RIP Christopher Plummer, we loved you). Butler has a similar vibe but in a different genre.

So, I was an adult and had enough experience of watching fandoms to see the mixed reactions to this book being released. People were sad the series was ending, people were disappointed because the series had seemingly drifted, and people loved it. My reaction was pretty mixed, because I had a lot going on, I knew there were good things here but I was also kind of missing the heisty, criminal mastermind vibes, but also OPAL KOBOI. So I was pretty unsure how to feel about this book when it came out, and then I didn't reread it for literal years because I went to grad school.

Returning to this book now, I have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch respect for how Colfer tied up the series and how he pulled off a new Irish mythological cycle, but updated for the twenty-first century. I have enough life on me to appreciate the changes Artemis goes through, and enough literature degrees to have a new and deeply fulfilling perspective on the series structure. Last Guardian is not my favorite book of the series--it's not even in the top three--but I think that what it does is genuinely impressive and I love how you can finish this book and go instantly back into the OG Artemis Fowl. The story does not, strictly speaking, have to end. And that is a vibe I can 100% get behind.

I deeply love the Artemis Fowl books, and I cannot recommend the series enough. They have so many strengths, are incredibly well-written, and they live rent-free in my head even now as an adult.

[nono-uwu]

First oc post i am shaking crying throwing up for multiple reasons and also anxious as hell- anyways, meet the man, the failure disaster gay, the forever doomed ginger(derogatory/lh)

I forgot to add his birthday omg, it's march 13th

Lore utc (i wrote a lot lmao), the uh post ch 134 stuff will be elaborated on later (or if asked. Actually, ask me anything about him. And my other oc's once they're posted. Please. I will answer in great detail. I also need a distraction. Pls.)

So basically, among the first few vampires (a 4th progenitor to be percise) turned by Shikama was a woman who showed great potential for spells and magic. She had a loving husband and child which she tragically lost in an accident. Upon turning into a vampire, her family was still the only thing on her mind. She accepted to help Shikama in his endeavors to revive Mikaela since she hoped she could revive her own family in the proccess. Unfortunately it didn't work. Disillusioned, she abandoned vampire kind and started searching for the possible reincarnation of her beloved husband, whom she may be able to have a child with and have family again.

Fast forward a a lot, and I mean a lot, of years and she arrived in 60s japan. None of the people she had hope for turned out to be the reincarnation of her late husband until that fateful day. She encountered a (rather pathetic may I add) man in his late 20s and it was like a miracle. The woman cornered the man in disbelief and from this awkward first meeting blossomed true love. Then everything went to shit lmaooo

The first problem was that the mans family didn't approve of the woman. Tough this didn't stop their love. Next was the issue of bearing a child, something that a vampire simply can't do. Well, an ordinary one but this woman was anything but ordinary. By some impossible miracle she bore a child. A biological child. (GIRL HOW?? We will never know and frankly, i don't want to think about it💀)

The child was, as expected tbh, kind of a disaster. Already born with pointy ears and sharp fangs. The child needed both human food and blood to properly sustain themselves. Drinking blood outside of their family would permanently stop their aging. Despite this, the couple was overjoyed. (And then named their child "mistake" bc that would help /s.) They named him "Machigai". Why tho?? I dunno man something along the lines of "a mistake but the best mistake of their life" bruh

So after Machigai was old enough to walk, but not old enough to remember, the mother diappeared, leaving father and child behind. The father did his best to raise such an... extraordinary child but it was understandably kind of impossible. Machigai grew up alone and isolated from his peers. He was always wearing a hood of some kind and rarley opened his mouth to talk. In high school, he met a girl who he became good friends with but she is another oc I'll post about sometime adlf,wpl.

Anyways! Come Machigai's high school graduation and 18th birthday, his father... disappeared. All he left was a note saying, that Machigai now owned the apartment and that there is enough blood in the fridge to sustain Machigai's thrist while he could grow and mature. To an already depressed and disillusioned Machigai this obviously didn't help. Throughout the next years he became a shut in, who only left the house if absolutely necessary. All he did all day was play video games, watch tv and later be on the internet. Once he ran out of his fathers blood was when things changed. He had to go out and actually find a new source of blood. Welp, sorry to unlucky bastards who went into dark alleyways at night bc these types of people became Machigai's source of blood. (That's when he stopped aging)

On one of these nightly escapades, Machigai was greeted by a large man in a neat black suit who called himself "Saito". Saito claimed to have known Machigai's mother and offered a deal: Machigai would offer up his unique constitution to the Hyakuya sect's research and in turn get a well paying job and a guaranteed source of blood. He agreed. "Welcome to the Hyakuya sect. I look forward to your performance"

Machigai was practically a lab rat for the development of cursed gear. Thanks to his half-n-half physiology he could tank wounds from cursed gear/magic n shit while still providing useful data to how effective it is. During this time Machigai aquired knowledge of vampire culture(?), became familiar with magic and it's quirks and learned how to perform simple spells and whatnot.

Around 2011, when the internet was already fairly well used, Machigai came across a forum dedicated to paranormal sightings. Various users claimed that a secluded spot in Kyoto was home to vampires. (Ferid was the one spreading these rumors btw) Most would have dissmissed this as someone wanting attention, yet Machigai was intrigued. He was well aware that vampires existed across the world but he mever knew how to actually contact them. Perhaps out of morbid curiosity, perhaps out of a genuine want for connection with people like him, he went to check out the spot. There, he met none other than the eccentric Ferid Bathory who specifically manufactured the rumor to meet Machigai (extra much?). He was well aware of Machigai's work for Rígr "Saito" Stafford and was trying to one up his father by stealing his most prized lab-rat. Machigai declined, not trusting a single thing out of that vampires mouth. Ferid left, already proclaiming that one day Machigai would be working for him.

Machigai stuck around that area as it was already well into the night and public transport wouldn't start up until the early morning. There he met another vampire: Crowley Eusford. Their meeting wasn't planned or meticulously calculated, it was actually rather awkward. Their chat was meaningless and short but in the end leagues above whatever Ferid likes to plan. Crolwey has already unwillingly heard about this curious being from Ferid and seeing Machigai himself left him wanting to learn more about him. Machigai was left a little hopeful, that perhaps it's not too late for him to look for connections.

So the apocalypse rolls around-

Machigai makes a deal with Saito that in exchange for his freedom (*eagle screech*) he would keep his mouth shut about anything the Hyakuya sect discovered while Machigai was there.

Machigai seeks out the Demon Army where he successfully keeps his half vampire identity a secert until someone on his squad gets blackmailed into revealing it. Before that, he gets a cursed weapon, a pair of daggers. And lo and behold, the demon possessing the daggers is his own mother. Unfortunately since the now demonic mother didn't witness Machigai growing up, she falsey believes to be able to still shape Machiagi to her will. After getting locked up by the army, Machigai completley gives up, only wishing for his miserable existence to end (spoiler: It won't! Ever. :) ). He ultimately loses any and all trust he has in humanity or just anything in general.

After about half a year of grueling torture and some experimentation, Machigai gets freed (kidnapped) by Ferid and promptly brought to Kyoto Sangiuem. Krul Tepes, finding Machigai to be useful in her fake-ish war against humanity and whatever she's planning with Yuu and Mika, lets him be part of the japanese vampires under Ferids faction. Ferid found himself unwilling to deal with the often uncooperative and irritated new "recruit" so he did what he does best and made it Crowley's problem.

After a rather agressive and disrespectful first impression, Machigai was officially a... coworker? of Crowley and thus also Chess and Horn in Nagoya. The three got the additional task by Ferid to somehow domesticate this feral and angry stray animal and get him to open up. At least that's how Ferids orders were phrased. Shenanigans, Drama and FeelingsTM ensue.

(How did I write so much??)

[mister-e-muss]

Parenting: A TiPo microfic

(No I have not seen Kung Fu Panda 4 yet)

You know, looking back on it, maybe letting Lei Lei invite friends over to the Jade Palace was a mistake. Not that Po would ever say so out loud, mind you. But a veritable litter of kids rallying around one very capable, very mischievous leader was always a recipe for disaster.

The birthday celebration hadn’t been this out of hand at the start. There were no less than seven Kung Fu Masters just in their immediate surroundings, how hard could watching the neighborhood kids be?

As it turns out, very hard. As soon as the celebratory noodles had been eaten, they all scampered, scarpered, and scuttled away in every direction. Crane had to be dispatched to provide an aerial view, Mantis was busy checking small spaces, and Monkey was furiously taping down every breakable item the Hall of Warriors had. (The Urn of Whispering Warriors was the sole exception; it had already been broken before the party started.)

Where Tigress and Viper were, Po couldn’t say. Neither did he know where Master Shifu was, but he was sure they were doing their best.

———————————————

“Inner peace,” Shifu breathed to himself, trying desperately to ignore the sole pig child gnawing on his shoe.

———————————————

Really, Po reflected as he turned the corner, his real mistake had been teaching Lei Lei how to do Kung Fu. A smart kid was dangerous. A dangerous kid who’d been taught to be dangerous was dangerous-er. But most danger-est of all was a kid who was smart, strong, and adorable.

A fact reflected by the sight before him.

Lei Lei waved at him innocently from across the hallway. “Daddy!” She called.

Po felt a moment of relief. Whatever chaos was ensuing the rest of the Jade Palace, at least his daughter was safe. “There you are. Ah, I was starting to get worried. Didn’t hear a thing.”

Lei Lei smiled with satisfaction. Po’s heart was warmed for a moment, before he noted the shadows slowly opening the doors on the hallway.

“What’s going on?” Po asked, not very sure if he wanted to know the answer. At the very least, he knew now where the kids went.

Lei Lei still smiled, but it was the smile of victory. “Destwoy him my awmy!”

————————————————

Viper savored the smooth warm comfort of her tea. “You think it’s all right letting the guys watch the kids?”

Tigress waited to answer, finishing her own cup. “If Po is good at only three things, it’s cooking, Kung fu, and kids. I’m sure he has-“

They were cut off as a familiar cry of distress rang across the Jade Palace. Tigress heaved a deep, long suffering sigh before finishing her thought. “-. . . Absolutely nothing in hand.”

Viper have a sympathetic smile. “Want me to check on them?”

Tigress stood. “It’s fine. I’ll save him.”

————————————————

A few minutes later, Tigress found Po. Or more accurately, she found the mass of hyperactive children currently smothering him.

“Am I interrupting anything?” She asked rhetorically.

“Tigrehf?” A muffled voice called from beneath the squirming playful mass. “I don’f mean to scare you, but I fhink our daufter is drying to take ofer the world. And I don’f know if I can ftop her.”

Tigress smirked. “I guess then I’ll just have to catch her!” Her announcement came with exaggerated menace and showy growls near the end. The mass of fur and feathers fled in delighted terror.

Tigress spared a moment to look at the Dragon Warrior in all his overwhelmed, completely unprepared glory. “Want to tag out for a bit?”

Po waved away the suggestion, still panting for breath. “Nah, nah, it’s fine. I’ll be chasing them in a second.”

Tigress huffed in amusement. “I’ll be herding them for a bit. You join me when you’ve caught your breath.”

Po’s head collapsed “I love you so much.”

Tigress smirked as she squatted down to look Po in the eye. “Oh don’t say that just yet. You’ll be making it up to me later. After she’s gone to bed.”

“Eh,” Po said in lieu of a question.

“I’ve been thinking,” Tigress continued. “It could be nice to give Lei Lei a little sister. Don’t you think?”

Po’s face turned red. “Eh-Heh. Like we don’t have enough to do, right?”

Tigress theatrically pulled herself up to full height. “Of course, if you don’t feel like you can handle another. . .” She started to walk after Lei Lei and company.

Po pulled himself to his elbow’s “No no, I can totally handle it. It’ll be fun!”

Tigress smiled as she started to run. “Then come on; we can’t let our daughter take over the world just yet!”

Po was laughing in full as he sprinted after her.

[aurorawest]

2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Is it February of 2024? Yes! Am I still going to post my favorite books that I read in 2023? Also yes!

Ginn Hale's Cadeleonian Series, the second half of which I read in 2023: Champion of the Scarlet Wolf, Book Two; Master of Restless Shadows, Book One; and Master of Restless Shadows, Book Two

This series begins with Lord of the White Hell and continues with Champion of the Scarlet Wolf, then concludes with Master of Restless Shadows. Each duology follows a different set of characters, but it's a true series so you need to read them in order. It's a toss-up for me whether I preferred Champion of the Scarlet Wolf or Master of Restless Shadows. Both are fantastic duologies. I particularly loved getting Atreau's story in Master because he's sort of an unlikable playboy-esque character in the preceding books...but wait! Turns out there's more to him after all.

After Francesco by Brian Malloy

Who would think a book about living through the AIDS epidemic in NYC in the 80s would be as funny as this book is? It will also tear your heart out and stomp on it. Also takes place partly in Minneapolis (and is by a Minnesotan author).

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh

Folklorist meets the Green Man and they fall in love. This is the first half of a duology, the second being Drowned Country, which I just finished today so can't included it on my 2023 wrap-up. All the dark and violent whimsy of the mythic past and the most brutal versions of fairy tales, plus a lovely romance.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

Imagine the love child of Lost, Person of Interest, and Battlestar Galactica, but queer and with multiverse shenanigans thrown in (the author has cited Ender's Game as a huge influence). I don't want to say anything more than that, because I feel strongly that you need to go into this book knowing nothing. The twists and turns are so good, the main trio are wonderful, complicated characters, and the world is super cool.

The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley

In some ways the most heartbreaking of Pulley's novels. Also probably her most dreamy and magical. It's my least favorite of her books, but my least favorite Natasha Pulley book still ended up on my best of 2023 reading list.

The Half Life of Valery K by Natasha Pulley

This book awakened in me a latent love of Soviet queers. You'll see this book filed under sci-fi by booksellers, but it isn't really—it's historical fiction about a very real nuclear disaster in the USSR that was covered up for decades. Like all of Pulley's books, the characters are deeply complicated and flawed. The pleasure is really in reading the way she tells a story and her beautiful use of language, so even if you're not interested in Soviet nuclear disasters, I absolutely recommend you read this. Also, you'll probably be interested in Soviet nuclear disasters when you're done.

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley

Haha, you thought The Watchmaker of Filigree Street punched you in the chest with feels? Get ready for the sequel, which will have you Curled Into A Sobbing Ball On The Floor™. Join Thaniel Steepleton, Keita Mori, and their adopted Waifish Victorian Orphan, Six, as they go to Japan, where things are weird, there are ghosts, and Thaniel and Mori still somehow don't understand what they mean to each other.

The Kingdoms by Natasha Pulley

"What if France won the Napoleonic Wars because of time travelers" shouldn't have shattered me the way this book did, but of course it's a Natasha Pulley novel so it absolutely did. Missouri Kite is the most Gay Little Man™. And Joe, poor Joe. The PINING. The YEARNING. When the reveal happens, I had to go back and read prior sections of the book and good god do they hit different. Different and SADDER. This book is my favorite of Natasha Pulley's novels.

Tommy Cabot Was Here and Peter Cabot Gets Lost by Cat Sebastian

The first two books in Cat Sebastian's The Cabots series. The books are historical fiction that follow various queer men in the Cabot family. The Cabots are one of those old money, liberal New England families—think Kennedys. Both books are about Sad Gay Men™ finding love in soft, tiptoeing Cat Sebastian fashion. Peter Cabot is a road trip romance and a bit longer, so the characters have some time to breathe.

Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly

This was probably a Stucky fic at one point, right? I mean. No shade though, truly! This was my favorite romcom that I read in 2023. It was also a comp for Strangers to Husbands, haha. I love the setting—hiking the Pacific Crest Trail—and I love the main characters, Alexei and Ben. Alexei came out to his family recently and got rejected, while Ben is from a big, accepting Portuguese family. Funny, touching, and an excellent love story.

Cattle Stop by Kit Oliver

Looks like a romcom but will stab you in the heart repeatedly. Kit Oliver has a gorgeous way with words and captures the dynamic between two people who have no idea how to talk to each other so well. I'm also a sucker for farm settings.

The Sugared Game and Subtle Blood by KJ Charles (The Will Darling Adventures)

I've read almost all of KJ Charles's books at this point, but the Will Darling Adventures are my favorites (I read the first book in the series in 2022). I love the combination of romance and action/adventure. I've never met a m/m book set in the interwar period that I haven't loved. Will and Kim are wonderful characters, and sometimes I think about what other adventures they had after book three ended.

Honeytrap by Aster Glenn Gray

An FBI agent and a GRU agent get assigned to work a case together in 1959 and they fall in looooove. There's a road trip, a family dinner, and FEELS. I'm not sure I've ever had a time skip hit me in the gut so hard. Remember how I said I love Soviet queers? Here's another example.

Wranglestone and Timberdark by Darren Charlton

What if the real dystopia isn't the zombie apocalypse, but "normal" life? I don't know if I've ever read a YA series that sucker-punched me as hard as this one. I know I've never read a zombie book that sucker-punched me as hard as this one. I don't think these books have even been published in the US (only in the UK), but if you can get your hands on them, they're worth it. Really beautifully written in a style that evokes the emptiness of the great national parks of the American west.

Honorable mentions:

The Charioteer by Mary Renault

The Scottish Boy by Alex de Campi

A Power Unbound by Freya Marske

[oneforthemunny]

can you do headcannons for mafia!eddie when the baby is born?

sure I'll put what we have right here so enjoy :) feel free to send in anything else you think might add to the lore.

eddie's petrified at first (obv lol) but once he realizes like "oh were having a baby" he goes into planner mode. doesn't even really give himself time to celebrate or experience the pregnancy a lot bc he's on level ten with anxiety. like will wake up in the middle of the night bc he thought of something else and he has to be prepared. he has to have a plan.

you pull him away for a baby moon after he's adamant that the nursery needs to be in the closet and that he's threatened the hospital that they shut down an entire wing for you. it's just the two of you, in a really small cottage out in the middle of absolutely no where. it's not really a destination place but you just want to spend time with him where there's no one else and he can let his guard down for a while.

when baby bea is born, eddie is a fucking disaster of a human being. you go into labor and it's over for him. like he's prepared but he's still a wreck. he's so fucking awful and just anxious and it stresses you out to the point where you yell out him just to get out of your birthing suite. wayne has to pull him to the side and be like "you gotta calm down. everyone's got it covered, just go be in there with her." so he finally does calm bc they do have it covered.

fucking sobs like ugly cries when bea lets out her first cry. like he's been so stressed and anxious and he looks at this teeny tiny baby and is like overwhelmed bc it hits him for the first time that "holy shit that's a baby. I made that. that's literally my child what the fuck."

obviously he's most worried about the dogs and baby bea, but lucky for him they adore her. they sniff her once and like she comes in with you, and they're like "yes this is my baby right here" especially lucifer, he's like bonded to her. will not leave her side. the first time she cried they freaked out and started howling and barking and it was pure chaos.

eddie quickly realizes he prepared for a lot of things, but he has no fucking clue how to change a diaper. max, surprisingly, had been going to classes with you and is like "here dumbass." and shows him.

bea doesn't cry all the time, but when she does she is a wailer. like wakes eddie out of a dead sleep. he's used to not sleeping, but that newborn parent sleep is so different. he keeps trying to show up to meetings and is so tired or all over the place that rick quite literally forces him on a staycation/vacation.

he has the most fun when bea is like six months, because she's started gaining a personality and makes these cute little faces and sounds and it just makes eddie melt.

when she gets older, she goes through a phase where she really wants to be a mermaid, so for her birthday he rents out an aquarium for the day. has those mermaid performers come in, it's so goddam extra and over the top but she wanted it???? the goody bags are insane lol.

that's all I have for rn feel free to add what you would like

[eyesofshinigami]

Asking for a snippet of 'Adventures in Babysitting' for WIP Weekend, please and thank you 💖

As you wish, darling!

A huff from behind the couch, then Eddie opened his arms to let his son snuggle in. “How did you know it was me?” 

“Magic,” Eddie replied, rubbing his cheek over the top of Dustin’s head. He still smelled soft and powdery, his puppy-scene comforting to Eddie. “Guess you heard everything, huh?” 

Dustin nodded, pressing his nose into Eddie’s neck. “It’s okay. I didn’t like Annie that much. She said my books were too long and didn’t like to listen to me read.” 

Eddie sighed. Finding Dustin a babysitter that was worth a damn was proving to be an epic pain in the ass. It wasn’t Dustin’s fault, not by a long shot. Even without being his dad, Eddie would tell you what a well-behaved child he had. Dustin liked to read and liked to build things; the kid had more legos than he knew what to do with, and Eddie was constantly finding his appliances taken apart while Dustin took note of how things went together. He never talked back, never threw a fit, and was pretty easy-going, even if he could be a bit of a know-it-all sometimes. 

They just… couldn’t find a good fit, it seemed. Most of the nannies that had come through had been absolute disasters. They either wanted in Eddie’s pants, had no interest in Dustin once they found out his hobbies, or were apparently trying to sneak information about the band’s newest album. 

It was exhausting, for both of them.

“You know you didn’t do anything, right?”

“Well, yeah. All she talked about was how much she liked your music and kept asking me if I knew where you wrote your lyrics and stuff. Like I would tell her anything anyway,” Dustin replied with a snort. “I liked her less than I liked Jacob, but way more than I liked Susan.” 

Eddie sighed again. Jacob had been really good, a sweet-faced Omega who Dustin took to immediately. He thought he’d found a good one, right up until Jacob took it upon himself to crawl into Eddie’s bed like he belonged there. Eddie was no stranger to groupies (that’s how he had gotten Dustin, after all), but the very idea of the guy just inviting himself into Eddie’s space and pawing at him like that wasn’t going to work.

So, yeah. Here they are, nanny-less and with Eddie wondering what the hell he was going to do about it. 

HELP ME WRITE

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ : ғ ᴏ ᴜ ʀ ᴛ ᴇ ᴇ ɴ

m a s t e r l i s t

ғ ᴏ ᴜ ʀ ᴛ ᴇ ᴇ ɴ

The next day I put the finishing touches to my outfit. My hair is slicked back in a high ponytail and I'm wearing a full sequin black blazer dress with strappy black heels. To add colour to my outfit I've gone for a bold red lip. I don't know what my dad has planned but I want to make the effort. He always does so much for me I look forward to the time we spend together.

"Estás preciosa, mi princesa" my dad says as I walk into the kitchen of the villa. No one is around however they all knew today was about me and my dad.

"Gracias, papá" I always try and speak in Spanish when I'm with my dad, I've been brought up speaking the language and I've been fluent since I was a child. My mum always stressed how important it was for me to speak both languages, especially for when I visit my dad's family.

I still have no idea where my dad is taking me but I follow him out to the car he's booked. I haven't seen my friends for most of the afternoon but I knew they'd plan their own thing for today and Lando told me that he has plans for tonight as well so I know I won't be seeing him. It'll be nice to spend time with my dad, as much as I've been around him lately it doesn't feel like we've spent a lot of time together.

Pulling up at the restaurant I'm shocked when I realise we're at Carbone. It's one of the best restaurants in Miami and my dad has managed to get us a booking. As we're shown to our table I realise my mum is sitting waiting for us.

"Mum what are you doing here?" I ask as I take a seat at the table.

"Lucía you didn't think I was going to miss your birthday did you? Me and your dad have had this planned for months. Neither of us have missed a birthday before, we aren't about to start now" my mum explains.

"You're both amazing. Did you fly out yourself?" I ask knowing how much my mum hates flying.

"Lucía do you not know your mum at all? Steph, Kelly and Donna are here as well. If you're turning 24 you're doing it in style princesita. Plus your mum and I need to celebrate keeping a human alive for this long and doing a good job of it" I absolutely adore the relationship my mum and dad have. I've never felt like I need them to be in a relationship with each other, they get on so good as friends. I love being able to spend time with them both at the same time.

"Does Liv know her mum is here?" My mum and Liv's mum Steph grew up together and that relationship carried on with me and Liv. We're all so close I know I could go to Steph with anything and she'd have my back.

"She does now. We're going to take you girls out one night but from what your dad has said you need to fit me into your busy schedule around a certain Lando Norris" my mum has a knowing look on her face and it means my dad has told her everything.

"Mum he's amazing. It's not often I'll say it because of my previous disasters but he's everything I could want in a man"

"Ooh Fernando our daughter's in love. Just remember we aren't old enough to be grandparents yet and I'm not ready to give up girls holidays for babysitting"

"Christ mum I'm not even in a relationship and you've already got me popping out kids" I say with a laugh knowing kids are a long way off. I'm far from ready for that.

"I bet before you go back to Manchester you're in a relationship with him" my dad says and there's a serious tone to him. I get he's seen me with Lando but I didn't think my dad would be one of my biggest cheerleaders when it comes to a relationship. I'm not going to force a relationship but the way things are progressing with Lando it seems naturally that will be our next step.

After spending a few hours at the restaurant with my mum and dad we jump back in the car to the villa to pick everyone up. My dad wanted the dinner to be for family and now he's said we're heading out to the Miami clubs to celebrate.

"Lucía go and grab everyone you have the youngest legs" my mum says from her seat in the car.

"Papá is also the fittest out of all of us" I say climbing out of the car knowing there's no point trying to argue. Walking into the villa its silent, I don't hear anyone. Mumbling a quick 'what the fuck' to myself I walk into the kitchen.

"Surprise!" I scream in shock as I'm attacked with confetti cannons by my friends, my dads friends, my mums friends, drivers and Lando.

"Oh my god you sly little fuckers! You all knew this was planned!" I say with a laugh as I'm handed a glass of wine and the music starts "thank you so much for coming"

"Feliz cumpleaños, Lucía"

"Papá you're the best" the whole villa has been transformed into our own private club. There's a DJ and dance floor as well as a fully stocked bar. I can't wait to let loose and enjoy tonight without having to worry about paparazzi or fans taking photos of us. "Estoy muy agradecido por todo and you as well mum because I know you'll have been involved"

"Lucía you know we'll always do anything we can for you. Go and enjoy yourself, I know a certain driver is waiting for you" my mum raises her eyebrow giving me the look. She wants me to spend time with Lando. Instead of running straight to Lando I make my way around everyone who is here.

"Steph I can't believe you're here! Thanks for making mum fly this far"

"Lucía you've always been like a second daughter to me, if making your mum fly to Miami means a holiday for me I'm making her get on that plane. Cheers kid" Steph says grabbing us a shot glass from a tray "I'll see you for karaoke later"

"You kept these Monday night plans quiet didn't you" I say wrapping my arms around Lando's neck as I eventually make my way to him.

"I couldn't tell you and ruin the surprise. Your dad would've killed me. You look beautiful Lucía" Lando whispers placing a kiss near my ear so I'm the only one who can hear him.

"Thank you. That's the first time you've called me beautiful. I like hearing it from you"

"I'll make sure to tell you more often. I'm a fan of the red lip, it'll look fucking amazing around my cock later" Lando says pulling my hips closer to him.

"Maybe that's the plan Lando" kissing Lando I run my fingers through his curls running my tongue along his bottom lip. I don't think I'll ever understand why he gives me so much of his time when he could be doing so many other things but I won't ever complain about spending time with him.

"So Lando Norris, it's nice to finally meet the man who has my daughter so smitten, I'm Stacey" pulling away from Lando I wipe the red lipstick from his lips and turn to my mum who's stood behind Lando. I knew this would happen eventually but I didn't think it would be yet, I would actually like to go on my first date with Lando before he gets the mum conversation.

"It's nice to meet you. She's got quite the hold on me as well"

"All I ask Lando is that you don't hurt her. She's been hurt so many times in the past and she's had plenty of dating disasters, that Jake kid being one of the worst, I want Lucía to find someone who deserves her love because when she loves someone she loves them with her whole heart. Call me biased but between us I think me and Nando have raised a good kid, we just want the best for her" why does my mum keep going back to Jake? Of all my past dates he's the one I want to forget the most "That's all I'm going to say now because I can see the look Lucía is giving me"

"Go on, I know you're dying to ask about that date" I say seeing the look in Lando's eye as my mum leaves us alone.

"Why was it the worst date?"

"I was all dressed up thinking we'd be going for dinner or something and instead he took me fishing. I was surrounded by rain, mud, maggots and fish. It was hell" Lando can't hold his laugh in turn making me laugh.

"I can promise you I won't ever take you anywhere near fish. Come on let's get you another wine" following Lando to the bar I can't believe all of these people are here for me. Most of them are my closest friends but a lot of the drivers barely know me but the ones who are still in Miami are here.

A few hours and many glasses of wine later I am absolutely steaming drunk. I haven't stopped dancing to every song the DJ has played including 90's and 00's club classics, all of which I know thanks to my mum. Hearing the beginning of Celine Dion I run around the villa looking for Liv, my mum and Steph. As we all climb onto the kitchen island we dance and belt out the lyrics to It's All Coming Back to Me Now using a vape as a microphone, singing horrifically might I add but for the four of us this is our karaoke staple. In our drunk state we play up to the group of friends that have gathered to cheer us on. As my mum and Steph get down off the island Liv and I continue to sing to N-Dubz, Girls knowing the song word for word.    

"Did you expect my daughter to be so feral?" My dad asks Lando as I sit on Lando's knee, finally getting down off the island putting an end to the performance of the year.

"Honestly it hasn't surprised me at all. I'd say she's a classy chav" Lando says with a laugh "but it's who she is and what makes her so special"

"Good luck is all I'm going to say Lando" my dad says walking away with a laugh leaving me alone with Lando.

"Papá! I'm not that bad! Maybe a little wild but some things won't ever change" people have said in the past that I need someone to rein me in, I don't. I need someone who can balance out my energy.

"You are who you are Lucía and personally I think you're fucking incredible" kissing Lando I run my fingers through his hair pulling him closer to me.

"Take me to bed Lando. I've waited all night for you to have your way with me" standing up I take Lando by the hand leading him to my bedroom. Making sure I lock the door, I look Lando up and down. This man is here for me and the more time I spend with him, the more I know I need him in my life.

esmelucia 📍Miami

Liked by fernandoalonso, landonorris and 20,518 others

esmelucia Celebrating chapter 24 early 🤍

View all 138 comments

alexandrasaintmleux the best night celebrating you 👑

↪️ esmelucia thank you for coming 🤍

landonorris beautiful 🔥🔥

↪️ esmelucia 😘

user7 Lando commenting again 🥹

↪️ user9 istg they have to be together

↪️ user5 there's rumours that they were seen kissing after the race

[anthurak]

What a lot of Helluva Boss fans have in common with Blitzo...

Something I’ve realized recently is that there is this great, fascinating irony in this fixation that much of the Helluva Boss fandom has on the idea of some simple ‘wholesome’ family dynamic between Blitzo, Stolas, Loona and Octavia. Where Blitzo and Stolas are in some happy marriage and raising Loona and Octavia and everything is sweet and wholesome.

Because you know who ELSE is super-fixated on finding some idealized ‘wholesome family dynamic’?

Blitzo.

And after watching Seeing Stars, I think we can say pretty definitively that this very fixation is one of the biggest PROBLEMS with Blitzo and one of the main reasons his relationship with Loona is so dysfunctional.

Looking back in hindsight, it’s pretty clear that Bltizo’s decision to adopt a hellhound was driven by his desperate need for emotional connection to someone. Because that’s the crux of Blitzo’s entire character: Thanks to his metric shitton of childhood trauma and baggage, he is absolutely desperate for emotional connection and validation, while simultaneous being absolutely TERRIFIED of any kind of commitment or letting himself be vulnerable. It’s why he burned down his relationship with Verosika, it’s the source of his relationship problems with Stolas, it’s why he’s so obsessed with the M&Ms (because he’s desperate for what they have) and it’s why he’s such a dysfunctional father-figure to Loona.

Because looking at the flashback in Seeing Stars, we can easily infer that Blitzo wasn’t looking to adopt some disaffected, traumatized loner just about to age out of the adoption system like Loona, but rather an actual child. Instead, the entire reason he adopted Loona was because her situation and the words of the overseer positively smashed Blitzo’s sympathetic trauma button and caused him to adopt Loona right there and then. I mean, think of it this way: Adopting Loona was effectively an impulse buy from Blitzo.

Now, this alone isn’t necessarily a sign of bad parenting from Blitzo. The problem is that it’s pretty clear Blitzo never adjusted his expectations of what a daughter like Loona actually needs. Because he seems to have been so fixated on creating some wholesome father-daughter relationship that would solve all his perceived problems, he’s therefore fixated on treating Loona like she’s some troubled child or teenager, rather than a young woman in her early twenties, something Moxie pointed out as early as the pilot. We see this in basically all of Blitzo’s interactions with Loona, particularly in how overly protective, overly affectionate and generally ‘clingy’ Blitzo gets towards Loona.

And combined with how Blitzo’s approach towards fatherhood seems to consist entirely of ‘don’t be like MY dad’, this seeming unwillingness/inability to see Loona as an adult rather than a child looks to be one of the central reasons for Blitzo being such a disaster of a parent and his generally dysfunctional relationship with Loona. Which we in turn see play out across the show and is on full display at the beginning of Seeing Stars:

Blitzo seems to be working from the idea of ‘be everything my dad wasn’t’, so his approach to parenting seems to be little more than ‘shower Loona in praise and affection and give her anything and everything he thinks she wants’. Which happens to be just about the exact OPPOSITE parenting/help someone like Loona actually needs. Because all he’s doing is basically enabling all of Loona’s unhealthy, anti-social, hyper-defensive coping mechanisms for her own trauma.

Like I’ve seen a number of people take issue with how so-called ‘abusive’ Loona is towards Blitzo with how much she physically lashes out at him, such as when she gives him a nutshot at the end of Seeing Stars. But frankly, that behavior should NOT be surprising at all, given what we’ve seen of them: As we see with both Loona and the M&Ms, Blitzo has basically zero respect for or even concept of personal boundaries and has a tendency to get super clingy and overly-affectionate. So is it any wonder that someone like Loona who is extremely defensive both emotionally and physically, after what has clearly been a VERY traumatic childhood would almost reflexively respond the way she does?*

That’s not to say that Loona’s tendency to beat the crap out of Blitzo is a good thing, but rather it’s a symptom of both their dysfunctional relationship and how Blitzo clearly has NO IDEA how to be a functional parent. Blitzo’s overly-affectionate, protective, clingy nature keeps Loona retreating into her shell, and his unwillingness to set any kind of boundaries for her and give her anything she wants simply allows Loona to stay in her hyper-defensive comfort zone.

It’s why despite Loona being 22 years old, she generally acts not much older than Octavia, someone at least 4 years her junior. Because in many respects she’s likely still much the same as she was when Blitzo adopted her. Blitzo’s parenting has enabled all of her pre-existing issues and allowed her to simply stay as she was while growing and maturing very little.**

Which of course is not to say that Blitzo doesn’t love his daughter. Far from it, in fact. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the overarching narrative point of the problems both Blitzo and Stolas have with their respective daughters, and which Loona highlighted in Seeing Stars can be summed up as: It is entirely possible for one to both genuinely, unconditionally care for and love their child and want nothing but the best for them, AND be an utter DISASTER of a parent.

Which all ties back to the grand irony I opened with: How much of the fandom is fixated on Blitzo, Stolas, Loona and Octavia being some simple, wholesome, happy family while Blitzo’s obsessive fixation on having that exact sort of family dynamic with Loona is presented as one of his biggest FLAWS as a character.

Just compare Blitzo’s fixation on being a wholesome, doting father to a clearly unreceptive Loona to how much of the fandom seems to view Blitzo and Stolas as already being married and Loona and Octavia as already being sisters.

Or just as Blitzo seems unwilling/unable to view Loona as a young adult rather than a child, look at how much of the fandom seems to want to view Loona and especially Octavia as children being raised by their two dads, rather than the two young adults that the show clearly seems to be treating them as.

I’ve spoken before at length about my issues with the fandom’s fixation on Loona and Octavia having a ‘simple and wholesome family relationship’, both with each other and their fathers. And this might be the biggest reason I simply DON’T see the show going in this direction that a lot of the fandom is thinking/hoping it will.

Because it runs counter to what is looking to be a major aspect of Blitzo’s character arc as both a father and a person in general: Learning to stop chasing the nebulous, vaguely defined idealized relationships he’s been so obsessively fixated on, and realizing that he CAN have the close, happy, validating personal connections he’s so desperate for if he simply opens up emotionally to the people around him and recognize how much they DO actually care about him. Like how Moxie may not appreciate his clingy attempts at being a family, but clearly would be happy to have Blitzo as a close friend. Or how Loona isn’t and was never the young, innocent child Blitzo wanted her to be, but she still appreciates him as a father who has helped her.

As I detailed in another post; Helluva Boss seems to be a story all about showing characters in messy, dysfunctional, dare I say… problematic relationships, yet also showing those characters that do genuinely care about each other can still work through and overcome their problems to find genuine happiness and fulfillment with each other. Not in some idealized ‘perfect’ sense, but one that works nonetheless.

--

*Which becomes rather tragically ironic when we see that Loona does recognize and appreciate the fact that Blitzo cares about her. And even recognizes how dysfunctional their relationship is, given her ‘this kind of shit gets messy’ and ‘everybody’s got issues’ lines. But while Loona might recognize this, Blitzo clearly does NOT. And given how neither of the two are any good at meaningful communication, it gives the sense that Loona’s lashing out at Blitzo is in part kind of the only way she has to enforce personal boundaries around him.

**This actually makes it all the more ironic that when Loona and Octavia actually meet, Octavia’s mere presence seems to immediately encourage Loona to start acting more mature and insightful than we’ve ever seen her. Which in turn is why I think it’s pretty clear that a friendship between these two is so significant: Loona and Octavia each represent something the other desperately needs in her life, and a clear contrast from their complicated, dysfunctional relationships with their respective fathers.

[blood-orange-juice]

Hello! May I ask if you have any headcanons for Fischl, Albedo, or Kaeya? Or thoughts about them in general?

Either way it’s quite fun to read your posts on Childe’s personality✨

Hello! ^^ Thank you for the ask and for the kind words! These guys are among my favorite characters and I mostly have incoherent shouting.

*

My main Fischl headcanon is that Oz is not an electro construct but an instance of true creation magic, similar to what Gold did and Narcissenkreuz Ordo tried to replicate.

Girl just accidentaly performed a godlike feat because she was lonely and bored. She does that.

Other than that, all my previous headcanons have been covered in the last year summer event. She's talented, kind, observant, a bit too sensitive for the everyday world and brave af (not the "rush into danger" brave, the "I can look at myself closely and admit I was wrong" brave).

Lil sis is majestic. And she got all the important stuff right. If she wants to roleplay through life then I see no problem.

(it's so often shown how caring she is! during Unreconciled Stars she's one of the first to arrive in the disaster zone. and she regularly invites Mona for dinner because she knows Mona keeps spending all her earnings on books instead of food.

she just... helps others. all the time.)

Also Bennett absolutely has a crush on her.

Also sitting in a garden watching a play is THE shit (even more so in real lfe) and I loved that summer event.

*

With Albedo it's weird in the sense that there's a lot of going on with him but we either have obvious things (him being Gold's creation) or things we can't really connect with anything yet. I wonder if him being a potential danger to Monstadt will be subverted.

I also hope that him not getting a winter event this year means Hoyo are cooking something else. They usually do that when a character doesn't appear for a while.

*

For Kaeya I would need a week and multiple posts.

Do you know that his surname, Alberich, means 'king of elves' in Old High German?

(which in Old French slowly became Alberon and then Auberon. so not just a king of elves, the king of elves)

Which is incredibly bizarre because he's a descendant of the regent family, not the royal family. Why were they called Alberichs?

Also In The Song of the Nibelungs (which for me rhymes thematically with The Ballad of the Fjords spear lore) Alberich is the dwarf/dark elf (svartálfar) who guards the treasure of Nibelungs.

(actually I should write a detailed post about it. hold my beer)

A smaller thing: it also makes me sad how his EN VA makes him sound slightly sadistic while in CN he's more of the "teasing older buddy/coworker" type (and later in the story we learn he's incredibly kind). He's just so beautifully voiced in the Chinese version and none ot the translations do him justice.

[writerfae]

I heard you are interested in the disaster that is Endre's gf, Odette (19), and their relationship! Oh boy!

A little worldbuilding for context:

In the country of Galla three people rule together at once. They are called the triarhists (or that's how i decided it will be in English) and they have magic (gold wings that they can summon on their backs and grow to any size they want, gold fire and gold chains), and they pass this on to their first born. Their primary role is to protect the people of Galla if the Black swamp ever threatened them again, and in the worst case scenario lift Galla higher so they can't be reached. Triarhists are NEARLY seen as gods, but everyone knows they are just humans.

Odett and Endre are both soon to be triarhists. Endre hates it, but Odette always helps him with everything she can.

Odette loves being a triarhist. She loves her people, and wants to help them in every way she can.

She is smart, understanding and compassionate. Everyone thinks she'll be one of the best rulers in history.

The other characters love her! Adél, Ákos and Bendegúz all see her as a big sister, and she also genuinely loves them. Not to mention the true love that is between her and Endre. See, they all grew up together, so they're really close.

So, what went wrong?

When Odette was really little she had this idea. She listened to the scary legends about the swamp and had nightmares about them like every other child. She saw little Adél, bearly three years old crying at the mere mention of the place. But what if they, the triarhists could destroy the Black swamp for good?

She told this to her dad, who at the time praised her, because it was just another sign of her growing to be a caring ruler. But as time passed, and she didn't let go of this idea they argued over it alot.

Odette's dad said that she shouldn't start a war when they are safe. That her plans are cruel and extreme.

They fought about this until Odette turned 14. Her father thought she simply grew to realize what was wrong with her idea. Truth is Odette just hid the plans and worked on them in private.

But you know how curious Ákos is. He was bound to find a secret drawer. Years after Odett hid the plans there. And he doesn't like it.

Odette pleads with him to keep it a secret, but he doesn't want to. What he read was strange, and scary and so unlike her.

So Odette looks at this ten year old. The one she taught how to read, hugs him close, says "I'm sorry". Ákos relaxes. And Odette pushes him down into the abyss.

Odette tells everyone it was an accident. They were just playing and Ákos stumbled. She tried flying after him, to catch him, but to no avail. Everyone believes her.

She doesn't regret it. It was for her people. Anything for her people.

Still she tries distancing herself from her friends. It wouldn't be fair to them.

But, of course they don't let her go that easily.

A week after the incident Endre corners her in the library and confronts her, saying that it wasn't her fault and noone blames her.

And Odette knows it's not a fair question to Endre, but she still asks:

"If it was my fault would you still love me?"

And Endre, who thinks Odette saw his little brother stumble to his death despite her best efforts and is traumatized by that, of course says "Yes"

Weeks later Adél and Bendegúz disappear. A week after that they come back with Ákos.

Odette is glad that Ákos is safe, but still she doesn't regret what she did, and she'd do it again if she felt it was needed.

-

So that's what happened.

Everyone has varying levels of trust issues after this.

Endre, summoning flames into his palms: Are you sure your boyfriend would never hurt Aiden?

Henry standing before Callan: Yes, I am absolutely sure-

Endre: I WAS ALSO SURE!

Aiden just eating popcorn in the background.

Endre and Callan would like echother I think. They can trade ruler gossip. But they might need to get past... this first.

Also I'll tell you about Endre some other time, but know that Aiden and Endre would fight so much over who gets to adopt the other! Since they're the same age

I absolutely am! And damn am I invested in this now.

First off, I love Odette. I love her name and I can even understand her reasoning for what she did (though that doesn’t excuse shoving a literal child down an abyss)

I love characters that seem just so born to be rulers, that you know would do everything for their people, even if it’s not always the right thing.

I’m really curious though, what were her plans to destroy the black swamp? If even her father calls it cruel, I probably don’t want to know do I? 🙈

It must’ve been quite the shock for Ákos to find out about all that. And having to deal with the fact that she as someone he trusted pushed him into the abyss must be hard too. Poor thing.

I feel so sad for Endre too. Must be hard to be betrayed like this by a person he loves so much. I can see why he has trust issues afterwards. All of them, honestly. I hope they’ll still be okay.

I think if Callan manages to convince Endre that he doesn’t intend to harm anybody they’d get along quite well. They could complain about having to be the ones in charge.

And Aiden and Endre can declare each other their respective honorary brother, then everyone would be happy I think xD

[garden-of-omegas]

☘ THE DEVIL AT MY DOOR [DIAVOLO] ☘

┌── ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ••✎•• ──────────

characters: diavolo warnings: some references to bullying, witchcraft rating: sfw a/n: these first meeting one-shots are so short, hope you guys don't mind too much. i'll hopefully make longer ones in the future, or i might at some point switch how i make them.

~🎕

└── ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ••✎•• ──────────

you open the ragged door to the shack you and your mother call home, finding diavolo standing behind it with a cheerful smile. you frown, slamming the door in his face.

"mom! the devil's at the door!" you shout to your mother, who's brewing something in the kitchen.

"stop calling the mayor that, little dove!" she calls back, to which you scoff. that damn mayor is worse than the devil.

"that's not what i meant!" you shout back before opening the door again. diavolo's still there, waiting patiently. "mom's making love potions, you're gonna have to wait if you wanna talk to her."

diavolo tilts his head, being far too adorable for a literal demon. you don't trust it a bit. "i'm here for you, not your mother, [name]."

"..." you stare at diavolo, squinting a bit. "why?"

"i find you interesting!" diavolo answers. you scoff, but let him in anyways. diavolo happily follows behind you to the dangerous looking stairs standing in the middle of the living room.

"mom, i'm taking the devil to my bedroom!" you shout, and immediately hear something crash in the kitchen. you ignore it and lead diavolo upstairs to your room. diavolo curiously looks around, amazed by how cleanly white everything is. a few black details jump out at him, probably on purpose as they seem to be your personal defects.

"a curious room for a witch's child." diavolo comments, lifting up a small protection bottle sitting on the window pane.

"mom thinks that keeping my room white will make people think that i'm less weird. it doesn't really work, nobody's ever seen it before." you explain, sitting onto your bed. diavolo nods, setting down whatever he's fiddling with now.

you watch him look around, wondering what he's doing here. your initial meeting had been... awkward to say the least. you can't quite comprehend what he's want with you after that disaster.

"soo... want to help me make hex bags to throw at the old women in town?"

diavolo looks far too interested in your words for his own good.

"so, like, she's a total bitch! she keeps finding all my notebooks and writing false spells in them. they're not even convincing! if she wants to bully me she should do it better." you rant to diavolo while stringing up one of the hex bags. diavolo's been listening to your ranting about the people in town for the past two hours, nodding along like he understands anything that's going on. you don't think he does.

"so why are you throwing these at old women instead of this girl?" he asks.

"cause they insult mom, and that's something i won't allow. not on my watch." you point a finger at him for emphasis. "anyways, so last week brittany hid some sage in my locker, like that would get me expelled or something. she's absolutely the worst, so i've decided to trick her into thinking that i've cursed her, i just haven't decided how yet..."

you say goodbye to diavolo at your door, this time closing the door much softer and with a smile on your face. your mother comes out of her room, looking extremely confused.

"who was that?"

"the devil." you answer, not thinking much of it. your mother on the other hand suddenly looks extremely alarmed. "did you know he hates pickles? never would've thought the devil is a picky eater."

"...the mayor dislikes pickles?"