#but she's a idiot bc she's already gotten attached

[seramilla]

Clara had always been rather clingy to her older sister. Since birth, one of the only ways to get Clara to settle down was if Odette was near or holding her, and so after the incident where Odette had gotten gravely injured, that clinginess had amped up into separation anxiety. Ever since Odette had woken up from her anesthesia after her surgery, her younger sister was all over her, and she was practically in Odette’s lap by the time verosika and her posse were allowed into the room.

(Just a short snip it of what I think Clara would be like after her big sister nearly died, and what Clara was like as a baby too, bc baby Clara is an adorable concept!!

—anon who wrote the attempted murder angst request)

After the assassination attempt against Clara that had left Odette gravely injured, Belphegor keeps Odette in a medically induced coma for several days. Even when she’s passed the most dangerous milestone of her recovery, and Bel decides to let her try to wake up on her own, it’s just over a week in total until Odette finally opens her eyes.

The first thing Odette sees upon waking is her sister, Clara, asleep in the small hospital bed beside her. The younger woman is cuddled up to her as close as she can possibly be without actually lying on top of her. One of Odette’s hands is grasped tightly in hers, and when Odette has enough presence of mind to look over at her, she squeezes her sister’s hand, testing her own physical limits. Clara is startled awake at the sensation. When she sees golden irises staring back up at her, Clara gasps, taking Odette’s face into her hands, and smattering kisses all over cheeks and forehead.

“ ‘Dette! Oh, sis, you’re finally awake! Thank god!”

“Clar,” Odette responds weakly. Her voice is hoarse from lack of use, and also the tubes that had been down her throat for days. She reaches for her sister, but she’s still too weak to do much more than grasp at Clara’s shirt. She looks Clara up and down, as if assessing her younger sibling’s own condition, before asking. “Are you okay?”

Clara screeches. “ ‘Dette, I’m fine! Don’t worry about me, you idiot! You almost died!”

Odette tries to sit up, but hisses when a sharp pain shoots through her shoulder, hip, and back. Clara carefully keeps her down on the bed with a hand; it doesn’t take much effort, because Odette is so weak. Odette tries sitting up again, but Clara gives a firm “No,” forbidding her to sit up, or even move.

“You have to lie still!” Clara explains. “You were hurt real bad. You need to rest.”

Ignoring her, Odette asks, looking worriedly around the room, “Where’s Mom?”

“She’s at home with Sera and Emily. Bel only let one of us in the room at a time, so we’ve been watching you in shifts.”

“And how long was your shift?” Odette questions, already suspecting she knows the answer.

“I’ve been here all day. Mom needed a break. She sat with you for days. Now it’s my turn.”

Odette smiles. Her little sister has always been attached to her hip. She guesses she shouldn’t expect her hospital bed to be any different. She wonders if Belphegor knows Clara had been in the bed with her. She probably wouldn’t have been able to keep her out of it, either way. Smiling, Odette looks up at Clara, with tears starting to fall down her face. The exhaustion and adrenaline from their ordeal is finally catching up with her.

“Thanks, Clar,” Odette says. “You’re the best sister anyone could ask for. I love you.”

That must have done something in Clara’s heart, because Clara is suddenly bawling, grasping desperately around Odette’s neck. Odette hisses in pain from being jostled around from the hug, but she hides it, so her sister doesn’t feel guilty. She’s gotten really good at that over the years.

“I love you, too, ‘Dette!” Clara sobs, covering her sister’s neck in snot and tears. She rubs it in, good and wet and sticky. “Please don’t ever do anything like that again! I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you!

Odette is really crying now, too. Ugly, desperate tears. She and Clara just lie there, holding each other for a long time, like they used to when they were kids. When they were scared, or just needed to feel that closeness that only sisters truly know. Eventually they both fall asleep again, equally exhausted from the last week’s events, for different reasons. The sleep is well-deserved, all the same.

[atdamnbraina]

raven in modern starting something casual with someone ( like sometimes they sleep together, sometimes they just get take out in the middle of the night and talk abt anything ) bc her last relationship rlly crashed & she doesn't wanna go into a new one. only they rlly are in a relationship just without calling it one & raven has actually developed feelings without realizing bc she's still full of love despite everything.

[sockablock]

hey are requests still open bc I am still FULLY CRYING about Molly coming back to life holy SHIT. I have a thing I want to request and that’s Molly having to come to terms with whatever changes his body went through - new blood hunter abilities, longer hair, the much larger scar from Lucien’s v gory death - after he comes back to life.

Molly doesn’t ask what happened to Nott. He doesn’t ask them where they are. He doesn’t even ask who Essek is, and only gives Caduceus a friendly pat on the shoulder before turning away and wandering off.

His feet are bare on the soft teal grass. This time of year in the Blooming Grove, faint glowing insects hover around his ankles. The leaves of the old blue wisteria trees hang like a sheet across the sky. He is wrapped in a cloak of quiet moonlight, grey on the graves as he passes by.

Eventually, he comes to a lone headstone. It is long, and flat, and smooth. He sits down.

If he is different in any way, nobody says. It’s taken him a few days to find his words again, and it’s clear that his memories are still trickling back. Veth had joked that he used to be more entertaining, but they all know that his returning in any capacity is already nothing short of a miracle. To the Mighty Nein, he is still as miraculous as before.

To himself—to Mollymauk, he thinks he’s a bit leaner. He’d never really been one for rigorous training—not aside from what it took to throw a sword and catch it—and yet, this body seems hardened, now. It’s still a bit sore in some inconvenient places, and the tall one, Caduceus, mentioned that he shouldn’t do anything too strenuous to avoid opening his scar. This newest mark runs like a seam down his shoulder to his navel, making the rest of his scars look like paper cuts. He isn’t exactly sure how to feel about that, yet. Beau offered to help him design a tattoo to cover it, and he isn’t sure how to feel about that yet, either.

A faint breeze runs through the Grove, tousling his hair. It’s longer now, and Molly might have liked that more if he’d been around to enjoy it. He suspects that he might have been, in one way or another, though not nearly present enough to make the executive choices. Otherwise, he might have tried braids. Maybe hair dye. Not  only that, but the...what had Caleb called him? The “previous occupant” had taken off Molly’s horn charms and necklaces. For the second-life of him, Molly can’t remember if he’d kept them. He can’t remember much about the last ten months—which might be alright. He doesn’t know if he wants to.

(He does remember some things, though. He remembers taking his shirt off the first night at the Grove and seeing the other scar left behind. It is closed now, and healed well over with blood magic, but when Molly reaches up and traces it down, he can feel how the cut drips into his abdomen. He remembers how it felt to have the blood pouring over, to boil with fury and die of shock, under the stars.)

He looks at them now. They haven’t changed a bit.

Another wind kicks up. Molly isn’t sure exactly what time of year it is, but he shivers. The Clays are kind, but the whole family towers over Molly, so their spare clothes fit him poorly. Firbolgs are also—well, furred—and Molly suspects that this borrowed tunic is on the thin side. His tail curls inward as he realizes he’s going to sneeze. He feels his muscles tense, he breathes in—

And suddenly, something warm is draped across his shoulders. He glances up.

“Oh. Yasha?“ His voice is strained. It feels as if Molly hasn’t spoken in a year, but at the same time, he feels like his throat is worn. Almost like he’s been giving frequent speeches with wild abandon. Now that he’s had some time to recover, the combined effect sounds like someone trying to remember how to talk, but only being allowed to do it through a rusty pipe.

“Come to join me in my musings?” he still says, stubbornly.

“She’s not the only one. ‘Sup.”

Molly doesn’t have to turn to know that Beauregard has walked into the rows of graves just behind Yasha. The two of them have been pretty attached to each other lately, except for when Yasha comes to check on Molly. The strongest part of him, the part that hung on the longest, is privately quite pleased by this.

“And you’ve given me your cloak.” He grins, but just at Yasha. “How kind of you, my dear.”

Okay, so not that privately.

“I was worried you’d be cold,” Yasha says, concern endearing. “Sorry your old coat wasn’t doing better. Jester says she can probably Mend it, or try to paint you a new one—“

Molly waves his hand. “No, no need, dear. I should do it. It’ll give me a thing to work on.”

Yasha nods. “I’ll let her know.”

Distantly, Molly can hear footsteps approaching. He counts four, maybe five pairs, if one of them is lighter. After a moment, there’s the sigh of cloth, and six pairs are walking.

Movement joins Molly on the headstone. He turns, and now Beau is seated beside him. Yasha stands like a guardian at his back.

Both of them are much, much wearier, Molly notices. Even though it’s been less than a year since his “death,” Beau is riddled with new scars from combat, and Yasha’s tattoos have gotten much bolder. Oddly, that’s reassuring.There’s something in the fact that Molly’s body changed, but theirs did too. And even if he can’t remember it, that’s something they have in common.

On the other hand, though, it makes him feel...he shakes his head. He gazes outward.

He asks, “Why did you follow me, then?”

Beau responds first. She does so with a snort. “Of course we’d follow you, you idiot. You were our friend—or...okay, technically, at the time you’re actually a crazy cult leader—“

“No, I meant—“

She cuts him off. “Right, yeah, details. Not important. Listen, it...it was a whole long thing, and it was complicated, but the important part is that we really, just really wanted you back. That’s why we did any of it. All of it. And why nothing could stop us.”

“Not even me?”

“Hell, no. Since when could you stop me?”

Molly chuckles at that. He glances at Yasha. “Is that true?”

“Which part?” she says. Then she says, “Yes. It is.”

He matches the tiny smile on her face. Then he turns back to stare at the woods past the graveyard while behind him, the rest of the Mighty Nein come to a halt.

His smile widens. “What I was actually trying to ask, though, is why you all followed me here. Just now. I thought you were going to prepare for dinner?”

“My parents took over,” Caduceus says. “They told us to take a break.”

“Besides!” With a burst of jewelry and her flouncing skirts, Jester squeezes onto the other end of Molly’s headstone. “We wanted to spend more with you!”

“Now that you’re interesting again,” adds Nott, taking a seat at the base of the stone with Fjord. He reaches up to wink at Molly, “Hey, roomie.”

“I thought I should get to know you as well,” says the new voice. Molly remembers that his name is Essek. “We, ah...we are both purple, so that is something we already have in common.”

Molly laughs at that. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Caleb. “It’s like there are two of you now. Like your shadow. Or a duplicate.”

“I am still the funny one,” Caleb says. “I plan on defending that title. Even from you.”

Molly laughs again, and this time, he does turn. He can see that the whole group have gathered around him now, sitting beside him, standing behind him, in the grass.

They are all so tired. They are all much stronger. Molly has gathered from the scars on their bodies—as well as from the scars on his own—just how powerful they must be now. He knows that he isn’t the same, either. Sometimes his blood feels like its boiling. Sometimes he is moving, and he can swear that it’s through snow.

But the Mighty Nein are here. There are nine of them, now. And that, he thinks, in and of itself, must be a miracle. And as he looks at them now, drinking their presence in, he thinks...

Maybe some things haven’t changed, after all.

—

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN

[houseof-harry]

Missed You Too | G.D.

Part 3 of Hate You Too!!

A/N - hello!!!!! part 3 of my hyt series!!! v proud of this part tbh, and dropping it at 2:30 am bc I can’t keep it to myself any longer. lots of love as always pretty pls lmk what you think!!! (read the last part here) (amazing gif by @vintagedolan​ as per usual nothing but the best by the best)

Word Count - 8.8k

Warnings - the nasty as per usual, mentions of not a great family life

“Why have you been trying more vegan stuff?” Kacey asks as you walk down the refrigerated aisle of the grocery store. You’d just put egg replacer in your cart after examining it for five minutes.

You shrug, looking at the various food options as you pass by them. “I don’t know, I’ve just been intrigued by it lately I guess.”

“Is the boy who gives you the glow vegan?” You roll your eyes, because this has been Kacey’s way of not so subtly poking around in your life to figure out who made you cry. She’s only seen one person make you cry: your dad. So the fact that a ‘random kid’ has seemed to do it for you, she’s pushing hard.

Because it wasn’t just that night that got to you, it’s been almost every day since. For almost a week straight, you’ve been moping around and going through the motions of life because the thought of Grayson truly hating you was making you really fucking sad. And that’s terrifying.

You had been pretty good about hiding it, you thought, until Kacey knocked asking why you were crying when you didn’t know she’d gotten home from Ethan’s one day. And now she needed to know what caused you your pain.

So you told her it was a random kid you’d been talking to. She didn’t believe you for a second (rightfully so, it was a terrible lie) and she wouldn’t leave it alone. You loved her and her passion, but sometimes you wish she’d let it go.

“I don’t know if he’s vegan or not. Everyone’s cutting out animal products more and more these days and I thought it’d be cool to try it myself. Is that such a problem?” You snap at her and she just huffs and pipes down for the time being.

You guys make it to the produce section after venturing through the various aisles in complete silence. You’re inspecting peppers when she speaks up again.

“You can’t hide him from me forever, you know.”

“You really think I can’t?”

“Y/N, come on.” She nudges you, making you meet her eyes and you see the genuine concern in them.

You let out a breath, picking your peppers and putting them in the cart. “I don’t even know what’s going on in my head with all the shit that’s happened, how am I supposed to tell you?”

She frowns wrapping her arm around you in a bit of an awkward side hug, the cart sandwiching you against the various vegetables.

“Maybe talking it out with me will help? When did it start? When did you meet him?”

You purse your lips, not sure how much you’re willing to reveal to her. Because if we’re being honest, Ethan is going to hear about this. And if they put two and two together, Grayson will soon know you’re having all these feelings over him and that’s the last thing you could want.

“I’m not supposed to like him, that was never what we were to each other. I don’t like him, I don’t think. Or I didn’t. But when I pissed him off and he left? I don’t know why, but it just-” You shrug, sighing and grabbing the cart to keep walking around as your emotions quickly bubbled to the surface after being hidden deep within you for so long.

“Isn’t that what they always say, though? Love comes when you’re not looking for it.”

“Oh jesus Kacey,” you laugh, pausing to grab some onions. “I’m not in love.”

“Hey,” she holds her hands up in defense as she watches you bag the onions. “All I’m saying is I’ve never seen you so into someone before. Even when you talk about your exes you have less emotion than with this guy.”

You toss the onions in the cart before continuing to push it along. “But I shouldn’t be into him. I wasn’t into him. I can’t tell if I’m blocking my feelings down and that’s why I’m confused or-”

“That’s definitely the problem,” she laughs as she picks out the fruits she wants for the week.

You huff in annoyance because you know she’s right, but you don’t want to let that be true. “Maybe I just really like his dick.”

The old lady next you scowls before shaking her head and walking away. You and Kacey giggle with each other as your cheeks blush a bit.

“I don’t think any dick is that powerful. Not when vibrators exist - fuck no. You’ve got the feelings glow.”

“Stop, Kacey,” you groan, halting your movements to look at her. She raises her brow at you and crosses her arms. “I don’t have the feelings glow. You get that shit for someone you’re gonna love. I could never love this guy, I-” you shake your head and blink a few times to quell any frustrated tears that have popped up. “I can’t love him. He was a good fuck. Is a good fuck. In fact-”

Before Kacey can react, you’re phone from your sweatshirt and typing away.

“Y/N what are you doing?”

“Proving that’s all he is.” You lock your phone with a satisfied grin.

“What the fuck did you just do?”

“Set up a dick appointment. A no strings attached, feelings-less dick appointment.”

“With the guy?” At this point you’re speedwalking the cart to the check out with Kacey trailing behind while she tries to process your rather reckless actions.

“With the guy,” you confirm.

“You’re gonna regret this,” she warns.

You sigh, locking your phone again after seeing his response.

“Maybe.”

***

“You’re in a shlump dude.”

Grayson was cuddled deep into their couch, blankets all around him and an almost completely empty pint of vegan ice cream he had picked up the night before.

Ethan had just come in from a midafternoon run, his sweaty and bare chest heaving as he stood in front of his brother with his hands on his hips. They were polar opposites right now, and Grayson hadn’t even realized. Not until Ethan’s comment makes him look down at himself and back up.

He merely sighs, leaning forward to put the ice cream on the coffee table while Ethan watches.

“Is it the new soulmate of the month?”

Grayson looks down at his phone, no new notifications on his blank lock screen. He doesn’t realize that he’s zoned out until Ethan’s snapping in his face with a questioning look.

Grayson shakes his head, groaning and rubbing his hand over his face.

“Bro, I don’t know.” Ethan sits next to him, leaning back as he drinks some water. “She’s not-” he huffs, doing his best to collect his thoughts because he truly has no idea how to explain you or his situation to Ethan without revealing that it’s you. Because as much as he loved his brother, he knew Kacey knew about everything in Ethan’s life. And Ethan’s life is Grayson’s life, and vise versa. So it would only be a matter of time before Kacey knew and then you’d know and he had no idea how you’d react to him having any type of positive feelings towards you.

“Who is she?”

“You don’t know her,” Grayson is quick to respond, almost too quick, but luckily Ethan doesn’t push it.

“What’s so special about her that she has you eating ice cream on a Friday?”

Grayson looks at the sweet dessert resting on the table with a disgusted look, only realizing now that he feels bloated and definitely indulged a bit too much.

“I don’t know, dude. She’s not like anyone I’ve ever talked to or dated which is why I’m fucking confused. I shouldn’t like her.”

Ethan laughs, shaking his head. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he picks up the ice cream and takes a spoonful into his mouth himself. “There’s a reason why you’re not with anyone you’ve talked to or dated in the past. And there’s a reason why someone so different from those girls is making you feel a lot more. Grow the fuck up and actually ask her out so you can stop being so damn mopey.”

Grayson looks at his brother, processing his words slowly as Ethan continues to finish off the ice cream. He knows Ethan is right. But you’re not into that, and definitely not into him like that.

“She would never date me,” Grayson huffs as he leans further back into the couch.

“You won’t know until you ask.”

Grayson can feel the nerves bubbling in his stomach at the idea of asking you to be anything more than friends. Were you even friends? Just someone you fucked occasionally but wouldn’t even let him kiss you slowly?

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating, and he’s surprised to see your name attached to a new text.

sorry about last time. are you free tonight?

He reads the text over and over, trying to take it all in.

He’s never heard you apologize to him. Literally never. Not that you’ve done anything terrible, but you guys just didn’t do that unless there was underlying sarcasm beneath the words.

And the fact you wanted to see him again? Try again? Maybe Ethan was right. Or, you were horny as shit. But he’d take what he could get.

“Is it her?”

Grayson snaps his head up at Ethan, his cheeks a bit more flushes than before due to the fact he was now thinking about what you wanted to do tonight.

He nods, looking back down at his phone. “Yeah, she wants to hang out tonight.”

“Kacey’s coming over for the night and we already call the pool, so I don’t know what-”

“I’ll go to hers.”

“Okay.” Ethan stands with the empty ice cream pint in his hand. “Don’t forget to ask her out, though. Even if it’s a double date with me and K, to make it more comfortable for you guys.”

Grayson chuckles to himself because, realistically, you guys going on a double date together would probably be a lot of fun. If you and Grayson didn’t fight.

“I’d rather just be a fuck to her than nothing.”

Ethan sighs, shaking his head. “Whatever, dude. That isn’t good for you, but I know you’re not gonna listen to me.” And with that, he’s walking to the kitchen.

Grayson closes his eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths because Ethan was right again, but you’re just so...addicting. As much as he thinks you’d be amazing together if you were both willing to put your bruised egos aside, he can’t get the taste of your lips, your skin, your pussy out of his mind. Or the way you looked totally fucked out for him the first time you let him touch you. Or how breathless you were in the pool. He felt like he needed that, and if it meant some hurt feelings on his end, he’d take any fix he could get.

yeah, i’ll come by after Kacey gets here

***

Grayson was rather proud of the way he so easily slipped past Ethan and Kacey, grateful for his brother’s willingness to be vague so that he could get out without any questions. Because if there’s one person besides Ethan who will lecture Grayson, it would be Kacey. And she would definitely not approve of what was about to happen.

The drive felt longer this time. He had his hype playlist going, the one he listened to when he ran, trying to get some adrenaline pumping because confidence usually followed. And he really needed confidence right now.

You were going through the same routine as last time. Preparing your space for him, and more importantly preparing your mind. Trying not to psych yourself out while also trying to guess if he’d want it all gentle like last time, or if he’d be even more pissed because of what happened.

When you hear a knock at your front door you jump a bit, the moment of anticipation finally here. You wipe your sweaty palms on your shorts, walking to the door and taking a breath before swinging it open.

You both look at each other for a moment, and you can tell something has changed since the last time you saw him. He looked a bit paler, more tired, his hair not styled like normal. His posture was relaxed, his back slouched and hands in his pockets as he looked straight at you. Because sure, those were all little tells as to how the past week has treated him, but when you finally meet his gaze it feels like his eyes tell the whole story. You weren’t sure why or how, but you just knew he’d been through it the past week.

That made you feel a bit relieved, that you weren’t the only confused one. That is, if his rough week was in any relation to you. Or it could have been something with Ethan, or the company, or YouTube, or another girl. Maybe you weren’t the only one texting him about fucking around, and you weren’t the only one-

“Am I gonna get let in or did you invite me here to stand outside?”

You bite your lip, coming back to reality quickly and stepping aside so he can walk past you. You can smell his stupid signiture scent, the one you’d fake sneeze at just to tease him whenever he put on too much. The thought makes you smile, because it would always make him so annoyed. His face would scrunch, he’d toss his hands up like you’d just insulted his mother, and he’d throw at least a ten minute shit fit. It always worked without a doubt.

“Dude, are you good?” You’re pulled out of your trance to see him walking backwards towards your bedroom, an eyebrow raised as you still stand holding the door open. “Thought I was gonna get an apology or something, not just the fucking draft from the hallway.” The cockiness in his voice feels familiar, and almost makes you warm inside. But your inner competitiveness takes over first.

“Oh, you expected more than a ‘I’m sorry’? What makes you think you deserve that?” You chuckle, closing the door and locking it before walking to him.

He shrugs a cocky smirk on his face. “I usually accept apologies in acts of service. Never said I accepted yours yet.”

You put your hands on his stomach, pushing him through the doorway and closer to your bed. “Something tells me you will,” you whisper, your mouth right next to his ear as you lean in. You have a tight grip on his shirt where your hands were resting, his knees at the back of the bed.

He swallows thickly at your response, his own hands coming to grip your hips and bring you flush against him.

“Yeah? Gonna prove you’re really sorry, Y/N?”

You’re not sure if it’s the hushed tone or the fact he said your name that makes you freeze, your need to be in charge leaving you as you move your head to look up at him. He’d only ever said your name when he was pissed at you, when he was being sarcastic. Hearing it fall from his lips now, made a shiver run down your spine.

Grayson can clearly see how much he just affected you, and he plops down onto your bed victoriously as he watches you try to get your shit together. His arms are behind him so he can recline back to continue to watch you, his legs spread a bit and his dick clearly outlined in his sweats. You’re 90% sure he’s not wearing anything underneath, and the thought makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

He expects you to climb into his lap, so when you’re falling to your knees between his legs, his confidence wavers for a moment. “Oh shit,” he mumbles under his breath, and you’re sure he didn’t intend for you to hear it.

You lick your lips, sliding your hands slowly up his thighs as you watch him try and collect himself. He can’t decide if watching your hands or your face is better, his gaze constantly switching back and forth.

You, however, hold your eyes steady on his cock that is twitching underneath the confines of his sweats. You’re not sure how long you’re gonna be able to tease him, your mouth literally watering at the thought of finally tasting him, making him feel good that way. Letting him blow his load down your throat.

Your hands reach the hem of his sweats, and you bring one of your thumbs to rub over his cock. You hear him suck a breath in, your eyes finally lifting to meet his. He’s got his bottom lip between his teeth, his face barely lit up from the few candles in your room.  His nostrils are flaring with every breath he lets out, the anticipation clear in the way his eyes are now jumping around your own face as he waits for your next move.

You dig your fingers into the hem of his sweats, pulling them down as he lifts his hips to make it easier for you, Once they’re around his ankles, you let your eyes fall to his hard cock against his lower stomach. You take in every vein you can see, trailing all the way up to his red tip. You could tell it was borderline painful with the way his thighs clenched under your hands. When you noticed the precum beginning to drip from his tip you can’t resist anymore, leaning in to lick it all up.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

There it is again. Your name so gracefully falling from his lips. You feel a wave of nervous energy flow through you, but not before the words go straight to your pussy. You’ve suddenly made it your mission to make him say your name as many times as possible tonight.

You grab him at his base, swirling your tongue around his tip and making sure to pay extra attention to his slit, noting his little twitch every time your tongue runs over the most sensitive part of him. He brings one of his hands to the side of your head, gripping the ponytail you’d already had in your hair in preparation.

You look up at him as you continue to explore what makes him pull tight against your scalp, his cocky smirk back again as he takes in his new view.

“Loving the taste of my cock?”

You let go of him for a moment, and you feel him tug on your hair a bit harder in protest, but before he can say anything else you’re leaning down farther to drag your tongue from his base all the way back up, swirling your tongue around once like earlier before sitting back on your heels. You lick your lips slowly, never breaking eye contact.

“It’s alright.”

He rolls his eyes, putting a bit of pressure on the back of your head to try and bring you closer to him again.

You chuckle, leaning forward so that when you speak again he feels your hot breath on the sensitive skin. “Why? Love the way my mouth feels?”

“I wouldn’t know because you haven’t actually fucking put it-”

Before he can even finish his sentence your mouth is surrounding him, slowly sink down until he’s hitting the back of your throat. You stay there a moment, listening to his quicker breathing and watching his stomach clench as you hollow your cheeks and leisurely drag your head up, letting your tongue trace the vein that runs on the underside of his cock.

You lift your mouth from him, a small trail of saliva still connecting your lower lip to his tip.

“How about now?”

He looks down at you for a second, total silence ringing through your room. If you weren’t so turned on and confused about your feelings, you’d be more sure about the blatant admiration and attraction you see in his gaze right now.

He moves his hand from your head to your face, his thumb wiping your bottom lip to clean it before grabbing your cheeks and forcing you to continue looking at him. “You’re not good for me.”

Before you can even question what he means, he’s forcing you to stand up. He brings your face to his, and your hands fly around for a moment as you try to keep your balance with his quick and forceful motions before they finally land on his shoulders, his lips hot and heavy on yours. He didn’t seem to mind the fact he could taste himself on your tongue, too eager to feel your mouth on his.

The way he is able to get you to move at just the feeling of his hands on your body is almost embarrassing, but when his hands come to your hips to move you so that you’re now sitting next to where he was as he awkwardly shuffles to get between your legs you’re not even surprised with how smooth he made it all seem. It almost felt like you guys worked well together.

He doesn’t even bother to step out of his sweats, only throwing his shirt over his head when he feels your hands tugging on it. His hand pushes at your shoulder so that you’re laying back, legs still hanging over the edge of the bed. He makes quick work of your shorts and underwear, letting you kick them off as he brings a large hand to pull your tank top down just enough so that your tits are out. You’re sure you heard some of the seams rip, but at this point you couldn’t care less.

He reaches below your knees, pulling your legs up forcefully so that they’re bent, your heels now resting on the edge of the bed and your pussy spread wide for him.

“Condom, Gray.” You nudge him with your knee to pull him out of the slight daze he’d been in since he last spoke, and his eyes clear up after he blinks and comes back to reality for a moment.

“Oh - right. Where…” He trails off, looking around the room to see if you had any out and available for him.

You lean up on your elbow, pointing to your nightstand. “Back right of the drawer.”

He leans over, not moving from his spot between your legs. You watch him rummage through the drawer and think about how natural it feels to have him there, going through your shit.

He’s quick to pull out a condom, not even closing the drawer before tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it on himself.

You open your mouth to say something, but before you can he pushes your thighs back enough for your feet to rise off the bed, his hands sliding up the backs of your legs to slowly extend them upwards. By the time his touch reaches your midcalf, you can feel the ridges of his stomach on the back of your thighs, your calves resting on his pecs. One of his hands goes back down your legs to tightly grip your thigh, the other going to his cock to line his dick up with your entrance.

His eyes leave your center for a moment, going back to your face. “Good?”

You nod, biting your lip in anticipation. Right as you feel his tip against you, about to push in you remember what you were going to say before. “Wait!” He looks up in alarm, raising his eyebrow at you in question, slight concern on his face.

“Is my apology accepted?”

His face relaxes as he chuckles lightly, leaning down a bit to hover over your body. You feel his dick back at your entrance, and you finally feel the way he slowly begins to fill you. Your body relaxes at the immediate satisfaction, your walls taking every inch of his cock as he works his way to fill you up completely.

Only when you can feel his hips against you does he speak up again. “I guess so.”

You let yourself fall flat on your back, a smile on your face as he smirks at you. He grabs your other thigh with the hand that helped him, digging his fingers into the flesh there as if to brace you.

He pulls back out of you slowly, brushing your g-spot while doing so. You let out a soft hum at the feeling, anticipation for what he’s about to do crawling through your body and causing even more wetness to come out of you and around his cock.

He opens his mouth to say something when he pauses his hips, staying totally still for a second. You wait for him to speak, but nothing ever comes. As you’re about to ask him about it, he cuts you off with the quick movements of his hips as he starts to pick up a fast pace in and out of you.

He’s got his lip between his teeth in concentration, the veins in his neck and arms sticking out with the force he’s using to hold you against him while he pounds into you. You let your mouth fall open while you close your eyes, the feeling already so good you can’t speak. You grip the sheets tightly in your hands, doing what you can to stay close to him despite the force of his hips continuously pushing you away. You can feel your tits moving with his motions, and you’re sure if you were to open your eyes, that’s where his gaze would be locked. Even before you’d fucked that’s where you’d catch him looking if he thought you weren’t paying attention.

“Such a nice pussy, shit,” he moans.

A whimper comes from the back of your throat and you open your eyes when you feel his lips against your leg. At first his touch is soft there, light kisses despite the hard and fast movements of his hips. But soon he’s nipping at your skin, almost like he’s using you as a way to quiet himself.

That’s not what you want, though. You want him moaning, whimpering, saying your name. So you do the one thing you know will get to him.

You clench your walls tightly around him, and it instantly changes the game for both of you. As you continuously clench and release, you can feel him press tighter against your walls. The pressure on your g-spot causes pleasure to shoot from your core to your whole body, and you moan loudly as his hips stutter.

“Y/N - fuck - keep doing that,” he practically begs, leaning further over you and bending you in ways you didn’t even think possible. You’re sure you’ll feel it tomorrow, but you don’t even care. Especially not when your name sounds that good when he’s moaning it.

So you listen to him, and soon you can feel the sweat gather along your hairline as your orgasm slowly creeps through your body. It feels good having him on top of you, gripping you, so deep inside of you.

He’s panting above you, and you can see how far gone he is, too. So you decide to act before you think, forcing your fingers under his that are gripping your thighs, making him hold your hands. His eyes meet yours to make sure you knew what you were doing, but he never fought you. If anything, he started grinding his hips into your more, making sure to reach any spot that went untouched.

He lets go of one of your hands, causing you to pout for a moment. But your lips are quickly turning into an o as you feel his thumb rub your clit.

“Shit, Gray,” you whine, digging your nails into his palms.

He grunts, and you’re pretty sure his lip will be bleeding once he finally releases it.

Before you can get too concerned with it, however, you feel your orgasm quickly coming from the pleasure coursing through your veins.

“I’m gonna cum,” you warn him, and it comes out much breathier than you intended.

“I got you, let go baby,” he huffs out.

Baby. Suddenly you had a new favorite to hearing your name from his lips.

And that’s what pushes you over the edge, your back arching as you finally fall over the edge, pleasure taking over your entire body as you moan out over and over again how good you feel to him. You’re not even sure what you’re saying and if it makes sense but you don’t care. You feel too good to care.

You can feel him finishing in the condom once you feel a bit more connected to reality, his grip on your hand almost painful as he pushes his hips into you one final time before resting there and halting all his movements.

You try to regulate your breathing as he comes down from his own high, his eyes closed. You take the time to admire him, watching his bulging arms and defined chest continue to tense with the pleasure he’s trying to recover from.

Once he opens his eyes, he moves to stand up completely again. He lets go of your hand, and you can’t ignore the slight pang of sadness that shoots through you when you feel the coldness of the air against your palm.

He throws the condom out in the trash next to your bed before looking down at you. You stay in silence for a minute, both of you unsure what to do now.

“I should probably go, right?” He asks, and you’re not sure if it’s your post orgasm glow or the sadness you feel at the idea of him leaving that makes you think he’s almost asking just to make sure he can stay. But you’re sure that’s not what he means.

“Yeah, probably,” you mumble as he leans over to pull his pants up. Once he’s done that and begins to put his shirt back on, you sit up to watch him move around the room.

Only when he grabs his phone and keys does he look at you again.

“Nice fucking you,” he says, nodding his chin as a way of saying goodbye before leaving your room.

Exactly what you thought, just a nice fuck.

***

You were sure if you got hit by an 18 wheeler you’d probably feel and look better than you did right now.

Seeing your family was never easy, and on top of the exhaustion of avoiding Grayson like the plague? You were done.

It had been six weeks since you’d last seen him, heard his voice, said anything mean about him. Because you haven’t even had the opportunity.

After the last time you fucked, neither of you reached out. You continued to avoid seeing him, and him you, because what were you gonna say? Suddenly I don’t hate you, I definitely like you, I wanted you to stay, and I wanted to spend time with you? Absolutely not. Not when you were so sure he’d laugh in your face and make your life miserable every time you were forced to be in a room together.

So you went a full 6 weeks without Grayson Dolan.

The first two weeks were okay, because you’d done that many times. Two weeks without him was easy, manageable. But at the beginning of week 3 when you heard Ethan telling Kacey how Grayson refused to come around when he knew you’d be there? That’s when you felt yourself break.

You didn’t even try and hide it from Kacey this time, letting her hold you when you cried. Which was a lot, because apparently pushing your feelings to the pits of hell for this long made shit a lot harder when they finally resurfaced. The last three weeks were spent in self pity parties, ice cream, movies and wine. And tears. Lots of tears.

It was safe to say you were not doing too hot, and your family never helped. So you left your parents’ house early, and were looking forward to spending the night with Kacey chilling out and not having to worry about anyone else in your life. The long trip back to your cozy apartment didn’t help, either. It gave you too much time to overthink the things that constantly seemed to take over your mind, so by the time you were opening your door there were tears filling your eyes and you could feel your lower lip begin to quiver.

“Surprise Kace! My dad’s still a fucking piece of shit, so I came home a day early,” you meakly call through the apartment, taking your shoes off as you’re met with silence besides the TV.

“K? Can we get McDonalds? It’ll help me-”

Your bag falls out of your hand as four pairs of eyes meet your hunched over, weak figure when you turn around on the hunt for your roommate. Kacey was cuddled to Ethan on the couch, and Ryan and Grayson sat on the floor by the coffee table that had half empty chinese food containers spread across it.

“Oh.”

“Hun what happened? Are you okay?” Kacey stands as she talks to you, her eyes softening and you do everything you can to keep your gaze locked on her. You can feel Grayson’s eyes burning into your face, and it’s only making you want to cry more.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” you lie, your voice cracking as you do your best to put a small smile on your face. They can all clearly see through it, but you’re grateful none of them push it.

“You want some chinese?” Kacey offers once she finally meets you, putting her hands on your arms almost to steady you even though you weren’t swaying.

You look over her shoulder and to the food on the table and for a second your eyes meet Grayson’s. They looked sad, sad for you. And that’s the last thing you wanted.

You look back at Kacey, shaking your head. “I’m good. Gonna shower anyways.”

You move away from her, grabbing your bag and walking down the hallway. You don’t even bother dropping anything in your room first, heading to the bathroom and shutting the door. It’s moments like this where you wish you and Kacey had gone a little nicer on your apartment, because your broken bathroom lock is staring at you right in the face as you pray everyone respects your privacy.

You turn on the shower to let it heat up, but the minute you see yourself in the mirror, the tears begin to fall. You just hoped the sound of the water drowned out your quiet sobs as you gripped the counter to try and keep yourself steady.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Ethan asks as Kacey comes to sit back down with a frown on her lips.

She nods, sighing. “Yeah, she just hates talking about that stuff with anyone. Hell, I barely know anything, just that she had it kind of rough growing up and she’s still pretty fucked up for it. She usually needs a few days to recuperate from a good visit to her family, so I’m surprised she was able to get through the living room without crying.”

The three guys take in the new information in silence, Ethan wrapping his arm around Kacey to keep her close to him.

Grayson stands, wiping his hands on his shorts. Ethan raises a brow at him in question, while Kacey and Ryan simply watch his movements.

“I have to pee.”

“We only have one bathroom, Gray,” Kacey reminds him.

“I know.”

He turns and walks to the hallway you disappeared down just a few minutes before.

“Grayson,” Kacey calls to him, making him turn to look at her.

She gives him a do you have any idea what you’re doing? look.

His lips tighten as he gives her a curt nod before turning back and walking up to the bathroom door. He knocks gently, putting his ear close to the wood to try and hear you behind it.

The sound makes you jump as you sniffle and quickly wipe your nose. “Kacey, listen. I know you’re worried, but I really just need a shower first.”

Your voice is thick, and it’s obvious to Grayson that you’d been crying. It breaks his heart a bit, as confusing as it is for him. Is that what you sounded like if he had made you cry?

“It’s me.”

The second you hear his voice your whole body tenses as you lift your head to look at yourself in the mirror again. Your eyes are red and puffy, your nose irritated and your lips swollen. You somehow looked ten times worse than when you first walked in the door, and you had little interest in letting Grayson in.

“Y/N.”

You sigh, closing your eyes and letting your head fall back down. “What?”

“I gotta pee.”

You scoff, and the familiar anger you hadn’t felt for almost 6 weeks weeks boils right back up in you. You hate to admit it, but it felt good to feel something normal, something other than sadness even if it’s just for a moment.

You swing the door open standing almost chest to chest with the man who has haunted you for way too long now.

“I’m going to take a fucking shower first. Then you can pee.” You sound way less angry than normal, much less of a bite to your words.

His face is soft as he takes in your appearance, his body blocking you into the bathroom without an escape.

“It’s an emergency.”

It’s clearly not, and by the tone of his voice you’re not even sure he has to pee at all. He’s casual, calm even, besides the worry on his face.

You groan and sniffle, rolling your eyes before turning and walking farther into the room. “Can you at least let me get in first?”

He steps into the tiny room with you, closing the door behind him. “Sure.”

“Without you in here.”

He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve already seen it all. Get in the shower so I can pee.”

“Turn around,” you whine, and he can tell your patience is running thin. You’re grateful he doesn’t push you farther, his body turning so his back is to you. You’re quick to strip yourself of your clothes, opening the curtain and stepping in.

“I can’t believe you couldn’t wait ten minutes to fucking pee,” you complain, grabbing your shampoo.

You hear Grayson move around outside the shower.

“If you’re gonna complain about me at least do it to my face so I’m not talking to a damn curtain like an idiot.”

You pull the curtain back so that your head can pop out to see he is sat on the now closed toilet seat.

“Fucking dick, didn’t even need to take a piss. Why do you have this incessant need to bother me all the time?” You throw the curtain back into place, beginning to wash your hair as you do your best to control your breathing. You can feel the tears that still threaten to spill start to well up in your eyes, but you’ll be damned if you’re caught crying by Grayson Dolan.

“You make it fun,” he chuckles out.

You bite your lip, pausing your movements to prevent any tears from falling. You’re unsuccessful, feeling a few fall down your cheeks before you can stop them, but the water washes them away quickly. You take some deep breaths, washing the shampoo from your hair to try and calm down a bit. You didn’t like how your anger at Grayson was making you sad now, too.

“Y/N?” He taps on the curtain, causing you to jump and gasp. Your hand comes to your chest to cover your heart that was already beating fast.

“What?” You snap.

“I went 6 weeks without talking to you, I’m not leaving until you fucking say something back.”

You huff, and honestly consider sitting on the floor because of your lack of energy. “What do you want me to fucking say, Grayson?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs, and you can hear him get up and pace. “That you hate me, that you think I’m annoying and rude and narcissistic and that I’m dense or whatever the fuck you feel like I am today! Just fucking call me something, say something.”

“Well, I don’t have the energy to fight your dumbass right now, so either pee or leave.”

Grayson smiles to himself at the name you still managed to throw in there, but it quickly falls when he hears a tiny sniffle from you.

You don’t hear anything from him for a minute, and you begin to assume that he had managed to sneak out without you knowing.

So you condition your hair, letting the tears roll down your face again as your ears begin to ring from how overwhelming everything has been the past day, weekend, months. You can barely keep your surroundings clear in your mind with everything racing through it.

Which is why when the curtain is suddenly being thrown back and a naked Grayson is stepping in the shower with you, you almost scream bloody murder before he covers your mouth and grabs your hip to keep you from stumbling backwards.

You relax at his touch, realizing you’re not going to get murdered (watching Criminal Minds was probably not the best idea when you’re so high stress at the moment). He removes his hand and you frown immediately.

“Why the hell are you in my shower with me?”

“Because you won’t talk!” At this point you can see how distressed he is, the wrinkles around his eyes more pronounced than normal and his bags darker than normal. It’s really the first time you’ve had to consider how much you guys not talking could have weighed on him. You assumed he would find a new girl and move on, while you made Kacey practically babysit you. It never crossed your mind that he would have felt even similarly to you.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

You can see how your words cut deep instantly, and you regret saying them. Especially because it’s not true, you’re finding yourself wanting nothing more than for him to stay right now and talk to you. To comfort you.

“So then tell me what happened six weeks ago that changed shit. Or tell me what happened with your dad. Or just fucking tell me something,” he pleads weakly.

You wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him flush against your wet body. You rest your head on his chest and close your eyes while one of his large hands caresses your back, the other coming up to stroke your hair.

You guys stand like that for a while, your sense of time totally thrown off. It could have been two minutes or two hours, you didn't know. But he stayed there holding you, keeping you close to him.

“I really wanna tell you about my dad, but I can’t right now,” you mumble out.

His muscles tense for a moment at the sound of your scratchy voice before he continues to rub your back.

“You don’t have to. Are you physically okay?” You nod, your cheek rubbing against his now wet chest. “Yeah. It’s just really hard to say out loud, and I need to process it before I tell someone.”

“That’s okay.” He leans down to leave a few gentle kisses along your hairline.

“But know that when I do tell you it’ll make more sense why I hated you. And why it’s hard for me to trust you. And why I avoided you for so long. It’s not an excuse, but know I don’t like being this way.”

He tightens his arms around you, resting his cheek on top of your head. “I don’t think I was very helpful to the cause, either.”

You chuckle, cuddling further into him. “I should probably finish showering.”

He lets go of you with that, holding you by your shoulders instead. “Want help?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “No, I know how to wash my own body. Plus, you don’t get to touch my tits yet.”

He pouts, letting his gaze fall to them. “Why not?”

“Because I’m still mad at you for lying about having to pee.” You put your hands on his chest, nudging him backwards a bit.

“Hey - hey, wait a second.” He grabs your wrists to stop your movements, pulling you back to him easily.

You both have stupid grins on your face, unable to contain the new feelings rushing through the both of you. Well, not new. But you were allowing yourself to finally feel them without covering them with anger.

He leans in closer to you, finally letting his lips touch yours for what feels like the first time. Yes, you’ve kissed before, and it was electric every time. But this? This was a whole new level.

His lips were soft and meaningful against yours, his movements well thought out as he did his best to portray everything he couldn’t verbally with the way his lips fit so perfectly with yours. You felt butterflies in your stomach from how slow and sensual he was being, and you felt like you could melt right into him because of it.

Once he was satisfied, he grabbed the back of your head to keep you steady while he pecked a few quick kisses against your lips, making you smile against him. He only pulled away when you were both giggling.

“I guess I’ll leave you to finish your shower, then.”

You bit your lip, nodding your head. “Yeah. But can you do two things for me?”

He smiles and nods eagerly.

You giggle, putting a hand on his hip to start guiding him out of the shower. “Can you kick everyone out? And then sit on the toilet to keep me company?”

He smirks, stepping out of the tub. “What if I actually have to pee now?”

“So then fucking pee but don’t flush. I’m more concerned with getting everyone out.”

“Not gonna be able to contain how loud you’ll be when you finally let me touch you?”

“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes. “You make it so hard to not wanna make fun of everything you say.”

“Hey, I’d rather you make fun of me every day than not talk to me at all,” he admits, his tone still joking but you can tell he’s serious.

You feel your cheeks blush as your chest swells, so you close the curtain to continue showering. “Get everyone out, you cocky, horny, dickhead.”

He laughs, grabbing a towel from the rack hanging next to him. “There she is,” he mumbles to himself, but you hear and feel your blush deepen further.

He walks to the door and opens it, walking the few feet it takes to reach where everyone was still anxiously waiting.

“Everything’s under control here. You guys gotta head out, though.”

Kacey looks at him in shock, taking in his almost naked, completely wet body as she pieces everything together with a look of confusion on her face.

“Do you have a fucking UTI or some shit?” Ethan laughs while his eyes are still on his phone before he also looks up at him, his phone falling out of his hands and into his lap. “Dude what the fuck?”

“I think we should go,” Ryan chimes in, standing up and clearing the containers from the coffee table.

“Grayson, what’s happening?” Kacey stands, concern still written all over her face. She walks up to him quickly, pointing a finger at him. “Did you take advantage of her? Grayson, she’s hurt! What the-”

Grayson easily grabs the hand that her pointed finger is attached to as he rolls his eyes. “No, Kacey. I talked to her. Comforted her, made her feel better.” Kacey raises her eyebrows at the last comment which makes Grayson groan. “Not like that. Made her heart feel better. I’ll tell her to text you when she’s feeling up to it for you to come home for her to explain, but please leave. She asked me to get you guys out.”

Her face softens at that as she looks over his shoulder at the open bathroom door.

“Y/N!” She calls loud enough for you to hear over the running water.

“Yeah?” Your voice is muffled but she can hear you’re less emotional than when you walked in the door. This makes her relax a bit.

“You want us out?”

“Yes please!”

That seems to satisfy her, as she backs away from Grayson slowly. “I can’t believe it,” she mumbles under her breath, shaking her head as she grabs her phone.

“Bro what is going on?” Ethan stands, looking at his brother for answers.

“Please,” Grayson practically begs. “Please leave and we can talk about it all later.”

“Yeah something tells me we don’t want to be around for when Y/N gets out of the shower,” Ryan adds as he gets his own stuff ready to go.

“Why are you so chill right now?” Ethan asks him.

Ryan shrugs, looking to Grayson for a moment.

“You got this?” Grayson asks.

Ryan nods, and Grayson turns quickly to make it back to the bathroom, back to you.

When the door shuts both Kacey and Ethan look directly at Ryan.

“Did you know about this? What the fuck is happening?” Ethan asks him as Ryan ushers them both to the front door.

“It’s not my place to tell you guys. But we definitely want to leave them alone.”

The two both continue to pester Ryan while they leave, and Grayson lets out a sigh of relief once he hears quiet outside from his place on the toilet.

“They’re gone,” he mumbles, rubbing his hands on the towel still wrapped around his waist.

“Hmm, suddenly I think I need a two hour shower.”

He groans, leaning back and hissing at the cold porcelain against his skin. “I’ll get back in with you.”

“You’re not invited,” you laugh, and Grayson laughs with you.

You’re quick to finish washing your body, itching to be out there with Grayson again. He sits there in a daze, replaying the sound of your laugh in his head on repeat and wondering how he went so long without it. And how much he regrets not being the source of it more often.

When you shut the water off, Grayson sits up giddily as he waits for you to finally get out. Somehow your time away from him now feels longer than the six weeks prior.

Your reach for your towel, lazily drying off because something told you there wouldn’t be many clothes in your near future. When you step out, towel held up to your front, Grayson is watching you with nothing but admiration on his face.

“What?”

He shakes his head, his smile so wide his cheeks hurt but he didn’t care. “Nothing. Just missed you.”

You giggle, going to straddle his thighs and sit on his lap, your towel barely covering you still. He grabs the back of your bare upper thighs to keep you steady as your free hand rests on his shoulder.

“You were literally sitting out here for, like, two minutes alone while I finished showering.”

He shakes his head chuckling, his gaze falling from your face to where you held the towel against your body as a rare feeling took over: shyness. It’s hard to make Grayson Dolan shy, to make him blush, but you’ve managed to do it.

“I meant the month and a half we didn’t see each other, but then too.” He shrugs as his thoughts run a mile a minute. “Fuck.” He laughs louder as he finally lets his eyes meet yours again.

“What now?”

“I’m feeling all...soft and shit. I don’t know. I’m not used to it.”

“Wow, I’m amazing. The girl to make the asshole who is Grayson Dolan soft for five minutes.”

“Yeah, let’s go with just five minutes,” he grunts as he stands, keeping his strong hold around you to keep you in his arms.

You laugh, pulling your chest against his as you wrap your arms around his neck to keep yourself steady in his grip.

“Oh, and for the record,” you say while playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck as he does his best to maneuver to your room while looking at you. “I missed you too.”

Tags: @spideysimpossiblegirl​

read the next part here!

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 9- Last Name (Wayne)

ok, so, if youve paid attention, the you know that i can’t write dialouge for the life of me lol.so today…i bring you dialouge in the form of texting :)

Marinette didn’t make a big deal about who her father was. Of course, when she had just met the man, she had relied on her friends to help her navigate the tricky situation. Since then, the teen had gotten good at only saying what she needed to. Chloe knew. Nino knew. Kim ands Alix knew. Max knew. They all knew and didn’t bring it up. They knew that she had processed it and moved on. To her, Bruce Wayne was just her father. She didn’t talk about the money, or all the work her father did. Marinette made a point to just be herself, and not worry about what names were attached.

At school, of course, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. On her ID? On her ID, she was Marinette Cheng-Wayne. Only those who needed to know knew. That how Marinette liked to keep it, at least, if she could help it.

When Marinette was 14, a new girl joined her class. The girl was sweet, if a little delicate. She said she had a lot of different injuries and conditions, but who was Marinette to judge? When the girl started to cling to one of the boys, Adrien, Marinette got a little worried. It wasn’t the end of the world, if he had offered to help, but he looked uncomfortable. When she mentioned this to Chloe, the girl had snarled. “That leech has been worming her way into his head. If you could hear what Gabriel was telling him to do- “her friend shook her head. “If I step in, want to help?” Marinette felt a smile crawl its way onto her face.

“gladly.”

Over the next few weeks, the girls watched what their new classmate, Lila, did. By that point, Nino had brought up his own concerns at fit far too well with theirs. Finally, Chloe decided it was time to take action. The blond stormed into the class and settled into her seat with a scowl. When Sabrina hurried over to join her, Chloe shook her head. Marinette took pity on the redhead and tugged the girl to the back of the class with her, whispering a quiet “watch”. When Nino and Adrien came in, Nino made his to the back, where he plopped down next to Kim. Alix and Max sat across the aisle, and all of them were ready for the explosion that was bound to happen. As Lila and Alya slipped in together, chatting and giggling over some story, the others exchanged glances. They had all been pretty close for years. Because of that, it was hard for others to join their group. The newest addition was Sabrina, and that was only because of her tendency to hang around Chloe. A ding on Kim’s phone drew the groups attention, making them all glance down at their own phones. In the group chat, Alix had sent a video linked to the LadyBlog.

Alix: saw this, this AM. Might be worth looking into. (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled The Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Mari: wtf

Mari: what is she trying to do

Mari: her ass will get lawyered so fast

Max: she obviously hasn’t thought this through

Kim: is she claiming to know them????

Chlo: oml

Chlo: SLANDER

Chlo: please Mari, please tell me that she doesn’t know your family?

Mari: I mean

Mari: she might? But I think her family name would have come up when Tim and I were planning world domination if she did.

Max:!

Mari: don’t worry, its been put on the back burner. Dad has a new kid that keeps trying to stab Tim w/ a Katana lol.

Nino: Mari, aren’t you supposed to go visit soon? Maybe you should just stay here, dudette.

Chlo: ITS SHOWTIME

The friends hurriedly stowed their phones away and returned their gazes to the front of the room where Lila had approached a confused Adrien. The boy had been deposited next to Chloe in the first row, confusion evident in his green eyes. The Italian girl leaned over the desk, trying to garner as much attention as possible. “Adrien, why don’t you come sit with me? I was hoping you could help me keep up with the lesson.” The dangerous flash of her eyes was so fast that most would have missed it. Marinette narrowed her eyes in suspicion. It looked like Chloe hadn’t been exaggerating about what was going on behind the scenes. Moving before things could get out of hand, Marinette skipped down to the desk.

“I can help, Lila! Literature is one of my favorite subjects!” the anger that glowed behind Lila’s eyes was worrying, but Marinette wasn’t worried. She grabbed the other girl by her elbow and tugged her towards the seat the brunette usually occupied. “I’m sure that Alya wouldn’t mind sitting next to Sabrina!” as Marinette settled into the new seat, Lila folded herself onto the bench and pulled out her notebook, shunning her new seatmate. As Marinette got her own supplies ready, she mentally prepared herself for an hour of clod anger directed at her.

After the bell rang, Marinette slowly started to collect her things. The girl next to her was moving faster than the noirette expected. For a girl who was supposed to a wrist injury, Lila sure wasn’t trying to avoid the pain. Shaking her head, Marinette finished collecting her stuff and went to join Chloe where she was waiting at the door. As they linked arms, Marinette realized that there was a sharp voice behind her, crying. “Oh Alya, it was awful! Marinette wouldn’t answer any of my questions, and told me that if I didn’t understand it, I should keep my mouth shut!” Chloe sniggered next to her and strode away towards the lockers, pulling Marinette with her.

“Honestly, Mari? I wish you had told the brat to shut up, maybe then she would be scared of you.” Marinette rolled her eyes at her best friend.

“your only scared of me, because you’ve seen me with Tim, and know that we already are on the path to world domination.” Chloe shook her head and closed her locked with a soft thud.

“Mari, you are worse than all of your brothers, simply because you don’t use your fathers name to back you up. If you did that, then you would have the same royal brat rep I do.”

Chlo: so, is anyone going to put a stop to the liar’s yapping?

Adrien: wait what? Chloe, who are the other numbers?

Chlo: Adrien, please.

Chlo: do you really not have these numbers saved already?

Nino: yeah dude, that’s a little mean

Mari: lol yeah, I’m insulted, Adrien!

Adrien: Wait, Nino?

Adrien: who…is in this chat?

Alix: Me!

Max: Markov and myself

Kim: and me, man

Adrien: that…doesn’t help.

Chlo: oh honesty!

Chlo: you idiot, its Mari, Nino, Max, Alix, and Kim.

Chlo: you are Ridiculous

Chlo: UTTERLY RICICULOUS!

Mari: Chloe, chill. I don’t think he’s been in one of our…unique chats before.

Max: affirmative. Adrien usually spends time with Nino, Alya, and Lila if he isn’t with Chloe and Sabrina

Chlo: back to the topic at hand!

Chlo: the brat has to stop

Mari: I mean…she hasn’t done anything we can stop her with yet.

Nino: we need solid proof

Alix: are we just going to forget this AM? (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled the Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Adrien: is someone going to tell me what’s going on?

Mari: we can’t drag them into this, Alix. it’ll make it worse, not better.

Alix: M, are you sure? we could shut her up real fast. Your fam, mine, Chloe’s?

Max: theoretically, it would be the path of least resistance.

Mari: THEY ARE A LAST RESORT

Mari: I AM NOT LETTING JASON MOCK ME FOR THIS

Mari: bc that ass totally will.

Adrien: ok, but what’s going on?

Max: Lila is trying to use you to catapult herself to fame

Kim: haha yeah, its not going to work if we have anything to say about it.

Chlo: also, very happy Mari never brought Alya into the fold

Mari: fuck no

Mari: do you see the way that girl doesn’t research anything. She latches on and never lets go.

Nino: so, you’ve said, Mari. I still think your over exaggerating on that one, lol

Mari: lmfao

Mari: Nino, she thinks I have a crush on ADRIEN of all people.

Mari: sorry, Adrien, bc you’re my friend? But she latched onto something and won’t let it go

Alix: shit I remember that. She tried to get us to set the two of you up. Those plans SUCKED.

Mari: remember how I kept sabotaging them lol? She just thought that fate was against her

Max: logically, shouldn’t that be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be?

Mari: haha I wish. After that, she tried to set me up with Chat Noir.

Chlo: WAIT

Chlo: that’s what Lady Wi-Fi was about?

Mari: yesssssssss

Adrien: um…should I be concerned about this?

Kim: I mean…no? its normal at this point.

Max: Chloe, plan #3 might work for taking down Lila? We wouldn’t need Mari’s family to join in if we do that.

Mari: if that fails, I’ll call Tim.

Mari: but ONLY if #3 fails, and we can’t make say…#5 work.

Chlo: you got yourself a deal, Marinette.

When the group entered the classroom together the next day, Chloe and Marinette were chattering excitably together. Adrien and Nino were talking about something on his phone while Max was keeping sore for whatever competition Kim and Alix had going on. When Lila approached Adrien and tugged him over to her seat, the others tracked her movement wordlessly.

When Alya came in and found them watching, she smirked at them. “those two make a cute couple, don’t they? Lila was practically glowing earlier when she was talking about the date they went on last night.” The friends exchanged telling glances but otherwise brushed the girl off as they dispersed to their seats. As she made her way to the seat she had claimed at the back at the beginning of the year, Marinette paused by Lila’s desk.

“Lila, do you need help again today? I know that the topics we’re covering are a little difficult if you’re not familiar with them.” The brunette scowled up at her.

“sorry, Marinette, but you can’t really keep up with the help I need.” The smaller girl shrugged.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way, Lila. If you ever need help, feel free to ask.” as she made her way to her seat, Marinette could hear Lila say loudly

“She’s just jealous that I have connections like the Wayne’s and Jagged stone and she’s just a little miss nobody.”

Mari: fuck it, it’s on bitch. I’m calling Jagged and Clara. These are slander charges now.

Chlo: should I expect your family’s lawyers too?

Mari: hell no. Tim is a last resort.

Mari: dad’s friend tho? THEY are defiantly going to be getting a few phone calls.

Mari: hey Jagged, Penny. I have just a tiny question.

Penny: Marinette! We were getting ready to contact you! What’s going on?

Mari: what kind of slander would be bad enough to sue over?

Penny: why?

Mari: this (voice file attached. Label reads SeNd To JaGgEd ASAP)

Jagged: little lady…where did you get this?

Mari: I recorded it during class today

Jagged: this liar is your age?

Penny: Marinette, would you mind if I send this to our lawyers?

Mari: go right ahead.

Tim: so…

Tim: would you like to explain why Jagged Stone is ranting to B in the entryway about a “little lying brat” who is in his “favorite niece’s class?”

Mari: wat

Mari: idk what you’re talking about

Tim: Little Bit, you can’t possibly think he hasn’t name dropped you yet.

Mari: WHAT.

Mari: fuck

Tim: ummmmmm

Tim: WHEN DID YOU START CUSSING?

Mari: tim. Please remember who my brothers are.

Tim: OH neverminded

Tim: why didn’t you get me involved?

Mari: theres no reason for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to know the Wayne fam

Mari: also, we wanted to use #3 and #5 first. If they didn’t work (they are) we were going to rain fire lolz.

Tim: fine. When your ready for the power that comes with the name, lmk

Tim: aslo, I insist on being included in the planning.

Mari: also*

Tim: fuck off

Tim: I wan to be ready for whatever damage control might be needed with the press

Tim: also, I live the kind of chaos that you and Chloe create together lolz

When Adrien turned to Marinette during lunch that day, there was clear confusion in his eyes. “Mari?”

“what’s up, Adrien?”

“who was that guy…Tim? That Chloe kept mentioning?”

“oh? She didn’t tell you?” the blond shook his head, looking worried. Marinette smiled ruefully and sighed.

“he’s my older brother on my father’s side.” When Adrien furrowed his brow, Marinette elaborated. “My father lives in the United States and runs a big corporation. He spends a bit of time in the limelight, but he keeps us all out of the press.”

“the…Dupain family?” Marinette laughed before smoothing over her friend’s confusion.

“no, Tom is my dad, but Bruce is my Father. He lives on the east coast, and I spend most holidays and breaks with my siblings over there.” Adrien nodded and smiled at her.

“I guess that makes sense. Its really cool at you get to spend your time with both sides of your family like that. What is your father’s last name then? I don’t think I’ve heard it.” Marinette winced.

“My father’s last name is Wayne. Anywhere except school, I use the name Marinette Cheng-Wayne.”

ok, thats a wrap. for once, this could be read by itself with almost no context. this will fit intothe overall storyline, but i had to go back and set the stage (this) for when Mari is 15. here, its the begining of the school year that she turns 15. (her b-day is in April bc i want to mess wiht cannon even more than i already do.)

[strayfreckles]

all on you.

☕︎︎ hwang hyunjin x reader (ft. ryujin, felix, & yeji); highschool au, friends-to-lovers au, barista au, bulletpoint fic.

maybe you would’ve gotten out of highschool with your emotions (and pride) unscathed if it weren’t for hwang hyunjin and his so-called romantic, obnoxious—and, in your case, unfortunately effective—antics.

includes: fluff, angst (especially in the middle), mutual pining, somewhat slow burn (?), gn!reader, barista!reader, a hefty amount of swearing, the only consistent thing you’ll see here is how utterly terrible this is, fluctuating humor

notes: this was requested by a wonderful anon! before you dive in, i’d like to inform you that this is my first fic of any kind, so please tread gently 😔✋ though constructive criticism is appreciated !! hope you enjoy (and hopefully not cringe too much sdkdnkdks) <33

wordcount: 2.8k

let me be the first to say that you absolutely abhor romance films with every existing fiber and cell in your body.

like, you cannot physically withstand the atrocity that is occurring right before your very eyes and you have to tear your gaze away before you bash your head to the nearest table.

and though you do admit that you’re overreacting sometimes

you also admit that you’re a massive dumbass for falling prey to one of the most common—and one of the most infuriating tropes—that is falling for your best friend.

yeah, hwang hyunjin? that boy holds your heart between his palms and with every smile you fall deeper and deeper

you’ve known that kid since you started eating crayons in elementary, and since then you’d been attached at the hip, clung to each other through all the clownery of middle school

finding each other in places is like a sixth sense; it only takes you both less than a minute to find the other before startling them with a quiet “hey, you”

but time is impatient, and that timid, starry-eyed boy you knew became the dimpled heartthrob come highschool—geared with the smarts and the talents and love-laced words that sent boys and girls running after him

but to you he was always just that kid who nearly consumed clay cakes because “it looked so real!”

until he wasn’t

it just came to you like a blow to the face, in the middle of sophomore year, sitting on hyunjin’s bedroom floor on a weekend trying to cram revise for your upcoming exams

you decided to take a quick break, and made the mistake of looking at hyunjin

and my oh my was he stunning

every laugh that tumbled from his lips sounded like a fucking symphony

and the bastard was just playing with kkami !!

he looked so damn soft as he planted kisses on his coat

every single constellation you knew was embedded in his irises

haha heartbeat go brrrrrrr

and maybe all you wanted was for him to never stop smiling, because he looked the most beautiful when he did, and maybe you wanted to brush his hair away from his face because you couldn’t see his eyes all that well and what the fuck—

you just malfunctioned

because that was your best friend

he noticed you staring, of course, and had the audacity to smirk, and in a second you wanted to set yourself on fire

“y/n, i know i look good, but at least try to be subtle.”

“you look like a low-budget minion, hyunjin.”

“i’d rather be a minion than a shabbier version of gru, thank you.”

(many fists were thrown that day, and hyunjin learned not to pick fun at your clothing lest that he face humiliation)

for the first few months you were in constant denial, even going so far as to blame hyunjin himself for forcing you to watch countless romcoms on your weekly sleepovers

but once you catch hyunjin staring at you with that fond look in his eyes, one he’s carried since childhood, your heart finally has the courage to murmur into the concaves of your chest, i am in love

it gets worse around senior year

the summer after junior year you land yourself a job at miroh café, a coffee shop at the heart of the town bc you’re broke as fuck and you need the cash

and, as expected, hyunjin becomes a frequent patron

he’s armed with a pickup line every single time he orders

and every single time you have to tell your heart to calm the fuck down he’s always been like this c’mon gimme a break

it’s even gone to the point where the regulars mistake him as your boyfriend

and as if your conscience nagging you 24/7 wasn’t enough mental baggage, your coworkers and fellow seniors, felix and ryujin, decided to weigh in

“if that isn’t the look of someone who’s simping over you then i don’t know what is,” ryujin nudges you, and from the repetitive force you’ve sustained from the past week you’re surprised your ribs aren’t bruised yet.

“you act like you’re not in the same dance crew,” you scoff, “ryujin, he flirts with everyone—he even had the balls to hit on chan!”

“let me remind you that denial is always the first stage of falling in love,” felix chirps, cheerful as he replenishes the pain au chocolat in the display.

“and let me remind you that i’m holding a very hot cup of coffee straight out of the machine; ‘accidents’ can happen, felix.”

of course, you weren’t in denial—you’d been past that stage long ago

it’s just that you didn’t wanna give yourself false hope

you didn’t want to lose this beautiful thing with him that’s lasted for nearly a decade because of your stupid emotions

so you’ve trained yourself to remain indifferent to the many compliments and lines he sent your way, hoping that if you could fool the others into thinking he didn’t affect you, maybe you could fool yourself, too

but oh ho ho, do i have some news for you (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

you don’t know how hyunjin’s pulse speeds up whenever he sees a handwritten note on his coffee wishing him good luck

you don’t know how often he forces himself to stop staring at you whenever you’re not looking

you don’t know how stupidly happy it makes him when he sees you smile

especially when he’s the reason why.

maybe everything about you makes hwang hyunjin happy

and maybe if you weren’t so kind and gentle and considerate during the times he lost a competition then maybe he wouldn’t have fallen this hard

but you were (and still are)

during the times you cried from laughter at all his antics

or cracked a smile at one of his pickup lines

he’d think that maybe—just maybe—he could stand a chance

but every time he did, he’d spiral into self-doubt

because there’s no way you would ever fall for him

you’re the kindest, most talented person hyunjin has ever known who deserves the universe

and he’s just… him

even if he did plan to confess, he’d be putting everything at stake; you’re too important to him, losing you would be a loss too heavy for him to bear

so he’s content with playing this role

even if the idea of you being with someone else hurts him so much

he’s content with reminding you everyday—even if it isn’t direct—that your mind is like no other, and that anybody would be blessed to have you

you both think it's always going to be like this

with you struggling to keep your feelings from showing

and hyunjin battling his inner demons

and those left to perceive the “discreet” ogling across the room and the hidden yearning in your voices are none other than (you guessed it!) felix and ryujin 🤩

it was funny the first few months

but now it’s just plain frustrating and they want nothing more than to bash your two oblivious heads together because y’all !! are !! idiots !!

no matter how much they persist, they’re always met with either a sad, gentle smile with a shake of the head or a monotonous “ha. you’re really funny.”

both have considered dropping your asses but they can’t because they love y’all too much

so all they can do is hope for a change

and change does indeed arrive when september rolls around

dance practice has just ended and hyunjin feels hyped because it’s movie night and he can’t wait to cry to kimi no na wa again

and lowkey stare at you for the entirety of the film

he exits his dance crew’s studio and is about to go straight to 7/11 for snacks when he spots the team’s newest recruit by the road, waiting for a ride home

hwang yeji’s only moved here two months ago and in a short span of time she’s already become one of the well-liked kids at school

but she’s a kind & humble sweetheart who deserves all the love & attention !!

so being the good sport he is, hyunjin approaches yeji with the brightest grin, having only talked to her a few times prior

“hey, there! yeji!” when the girl turns to him, her smile looks and feels like liquid sunshine. “waiting for your date?”

yeji turns rosy when he asks, like she does when everyone teases her about her special someone, who she’s been crushing on for weeks and who she finally had the courage to ask out. “c’mon, stop that. i don’t even know if they like me like that—they probably think it’s just another friendly date.”

“they’re a fool if they don’t end up liking you after, then,” hyunjin quips, hoping the bitterness doesn’t seep into his tone and wishing he has half the luck and strength yeji has, and she laughs.

“you know them, actually.”

“oh?”

“yeah! y/n l/n?”

oh.

o h

hyunjin can only blink at her dumbly, feeling like a thousand arrows are digging into his skin

you… with hwang yeji?

is that why you asked about her the other day? because you like her back? and that her feelings are far from being one-sided?

watching a dark cloud loom over his features, yeji thinks about asking if he’s okay when he blurts out an inaudible excuse as he walks away, zooming past the convenience store when he does

when he heads off he doesn’t even look at where he’s going, relying solely on muscle memory

he feels like he wants to grow smaller, biting his lower lip and clenching his hands into fists

he doesn’t even know why he’s upset

you were never his to lose

why would he regret what couldn’t be in the first place?

when his feet instinctively halt in front of miroh café, all he can do is stare blankly at the glass doors, at your figure behind the counter

but he wills himself to move away again, and when he does he clashes with another body

“hey, watch where you’re... hyunjin?”

ryujin stares at him with her mouth half agape, and she flinches when she sees his eyes glistening, his face flushed with the shade of pure heartbreak

“did you know about them?” he’s afraid to raise his voice, because doing so would mean there’s no stopping his emotions, “about… y/n and yeji?”

the lack of response provides the answer, and hyunjin walks away from the block

that afternoon, a cup of coffee with his name scrawled on the front went forgotten on the countertop

that evening, hyunjin doesn’t show for your monthly tradition for the first time in five years

you spend the rest of your evening obsessively checking your phone for text from him, wracking your brain for reasons he couldn’t come

of course, there are multiple reasons: like schoolwork (you are seniors, after all) and the upcoming dance competition

but you know he would text you over the slightest inconvenience, so why isn’t he saying a thing?

you rack your brain for anything you might’ve done, and your chest tightens when you think that maybe—just maybe—he’s finally caught on to you

you try to distract yourself with other thoughts as you lie wide awake in your bed: like your midterm exams, the nearing debate tournament… your date with yeji

bright, splendid hwang yeji who shares the wittiest jokes in biology and has the most colorful personality around

the first time you spent time with her she made you smile so wide it made your cheeks hurt

her laugh is the loveliest one you’ve ever heard; like dewy lavender fields beneath the spring sunshine

but every time you hear it you’re reminded that it isn’t hyunjin’s laugh, that you aren’t with him and every time you realize it you wanna cry

bc yeji’s been nothing but sweet and considerate this whole time and you’re more than guilty at the fact that all her attentions will be wasted because of you and your stupidity

you barely escape the wrath of crying yourself to sleep when you finally doze off when the clock hit two am

the next day at school, you both barely even make eye-contact

even the underclassmen who’ve heard the frequent calls of your names feel uneasy when they don’t hear hyunjin’s high-pitched voice or your shrill tones

felix especially, who’s experienced the trauma of sitting in between you two at history and feeling the tension that nearly chokes him

you’re more than terrified to look at him at him in the eye, terrified that once you do you’ll realize he doesn’t gaze at you the same way anymore

something inside hyunjin aches every time he spares you a glance, because every time he does it’s painfully obvious that he’s always been hopeless

in all honesty, hyunjin wouldn’t have shown his face at all if it weren’t for the tiny thread of patience inside ryujin snapping

so here he is, inside miroh a quarter before closing time

felix’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he sees him, so he sends a pointed look to his coworker,

“what did you do?” he murmurs. ryujin’s eyes are sharp when she looks at him, and he feels his blood run cold.

“what i needed to.”

no, she didn’t threaten to kill his entire family, if that’s what you’re wondering

she merely gave him… a warning

so one can imagine the surprise you feel when you emerge from the staff room, and felix drags ryujin outside to give you privacy

you both remain silent once they’re gone, neither one of you moving in place

until quiet words escape your mouth, and the familiar greeting makes hyunjin’s heart clench:

“hey, you.”

he doesn’t make a sound, so you continue, the tension heavy

“you owe me three dollars, by the way. i just wasted a perfectly good iced latte with the other day when you didn’t…”

when you trail off, hyunjin opens his mouth to let out an apology, and he realizes with a start that the words tumbling out are completely different:

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“what?”

“why didn’t you tell me about yeji?” hyunjin’s eyes begin to quiver when they meet yours, “we’re best friends, aren’t we?”

your jaw tightens, i told you. best friends. nothing more. “because you worry too much about everything; if i’d told you about us then you’d—”

“y/n, we’ve been together for a decade!” hyunjin intervenes, “we’re always going to worry about each other, whether you like it or not. and this— this is… i…”

every coherent thought vanishes as hyunjin grapples for more things to say. he knows he’s being selfish, undoubtedly so, but he wants you. he wants you so, so bad. the fight in him leaves until, eventually, all that’s left to say is the truth: “please, don’t go. don’t go… with her.”

your heart is close to breaking your ribcage when you stare at his face, you wait for him to say anything, to justify why he’s said it, but when the quiet settles, all you can see is red

“this is why i don’t tell you about these things,” you grit, trembling violently. “when i do, you say— say stuff that make me believe that you feel the same way i do when you actually don’t.

“and i hate you so much but in the end it’s all my fault because i’m the idiot who caught feelings for their best friend and—”

hyunjin doesn’t let you add anything else, because his lips are on yours and you’re overwhelmed with the feeling of him, him, him

the kiss doesn’t leave any room for doubt; he’s shaking, and his legs might give out, but he wants you to know that everything he feels is real

you’re both gasping for air when you pull away, but his hands still linger on your face and he traces the edge of your mouth, and you can do nothing but pull him closer by the waist

“still hate me now?” he asks, and you chuckle breathlessly, putting your forehead on his.

“yes, very much so,” you look at him tenderly, and he yelps when you pinch him gently, “this is all on you, y’know. if it weren’t for your godforsaken romcoms, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

“but if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have ended up with a boyfriend, amirite? ow, shit— i’m kidding!”

bonus!

“oh, thank fuck,” felix exhales, looking through the windows one more time before ambling beside ryujin, who looks pleased with herself as she places her apron on the crook of her elbow. “so, spill: what did you tell hyunjin?”

she smiles, “i told him not to give up before he’s even tried anything; sometimes, there are people who are worth taking that risk for.”

just as felix is about to commend her for sounding the most wholesome he’s heard her, she adds: “and i threatened to revoke my tutelage—his ass is failing calculus so hard.”

[merrigelblogs]

what can you tell us about your DND characters? Who's your favorite? Which one you think is the prettiest? The strongest one? That kind of stuff

Anon you are a beautiful, wonderful person to indulge me with this question (text wall beneath the cut ehehe)

AVELINE is a stoic pirate sharpshooter with a goofy, caring heart and a secret that I've been keeping IRL for the 3+ years I've been playing her, which is Absolutely killing me! She's BUFF AS HELL and DEFFO my strongest kiddo, she can and WILL bench you (I also think she's probably my prettiest LMAO, I was aiming to make someone hot when I was designing her)

TEMERITY is a chaotic lesbian artificer and business-owning girlboss and she's EXTREMELY FUN TO PLAY (mostly bc I've been playing miss Serious Business With No Magic Up There and thus it's SUPER FUN to switch gears and fire off ridiculous spells for shenanigans!!) She's the most socially adept of my characters, you have no choice but to be her friend!!

KIERAN was my first character, a halfling druid whom I will love forever. He was a farmboy who ran away from home at a young age to be gay and learn magic, and he's also like. Truly the only reason I learned to draw dudes. (Also, thanks to a joke I made with my friends in like... A PRACTICE SESSION BEFORE WE TRIED PLAYING DND FOR THE FIRST TIME, he's an entire stoner lmfao) He's my most "I'm going to make a character who will do whatever I would wanna do in this game" character and I have no regrets

DANDY was a warlock I played in a short-lived scifi campaign and I wish I coulda played him more because MAANNN WARLOCKS ARE FUN... He's a fun-loving friendly star guy who's a Huge Coward about any kind of danger, and he let me do a lot of fun worldbuilding to like, figure out How He Worked since... He's literally just my novakid character from starbound, but I've never gotten deep enough into starbound to know anything about them sdjlkfjksfdljk,, he's my most lore-friendly character

HIRO is a cleric I haven't played yet, made for a post-apocalyptic dead mall campaign my buddy's been spinning up! He grew up alone in a gamestop, his religion is video games, and now he's gonna be out in the dangerous real world with no real survival knowledge beyond Do Not Dig Directly Down. He's an idiot and I love him so much already! He's my most min-maxed character, his int/wis are both 18 and HIS STRENGTH IS FUCKING 2 AND I SO WANNA PLAY HIS BROKEN LITTLE ASS

MICKEY is a bard I made for an 80s campaign that never really got off the ground, and is the result of a college freshman discovering a magical keytar and thinking they're the new protagonist of life! An absolute mess, fatally overconfident, and man I'd still love to play them someday LMFAO... They're my most Neon character

ARC isn't actually a PC bc they would be ENTIRELY BUSTED as one, but they're an NPC from the goofy campaign I'm currently running that I've gotten stupidly attached to (hint: it's bc they're the one my girlfriend picked to romance). They run a magical goods shop, they sound like my best impression of Garfield the Deals Warlock, they're a greedy asshole, nobody knows their name or what they look like or what they ARE, and I love inflicting them on the party! They only got a canon name/face/backstory when a PC decided to fuck them, and they're (secretly) my true prettiest character

Thank you again for giving me an excuse to make this wall of text omg, and I will answer questions about these dudes/dnd in general uuhhh always, forever!!

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[perseusannabeth]

Bottled Up Storms - Chapter 2

So I’m finally posting chapter 2! Shout out to work for putting me in the clinic that gives me lots of time to write. 

Read on AO3

Chapter 1

Bottled Up Storms Masterlist

Word count: 2502 bc apparently I can’t write consistent sized chapters oops. 

Cassian ran his fingers through his hair after shutting the door behind him. His shoulders and wings sagged as he thought about what had just happened, what he had just found out. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest it was beating so fast. Nesta, his Nesta, was pregnant. Except she wasn't his Nesta, she wasn't his anything, not in her eyes anyway, and definitely not in his eyes. He could never be worthy of Nesta, but she was everything to him, because she was his mate, a fact which he had known since he had seen her stood so tall and proud in her father's house as a human. Even then, despite her body being human and weaker, she looked like a warrior who could clear the battlefields in one fell swoop.  

Cassian sigh as he forced himself to move from outside her bedroom door, and managed to force himself into their small living space. His mind was swirling with thoughts and unbidden memories from that night. He had gotten his mate pregnant. He fought his instincts, which were telling him to go to her and never leave her side again, just like they had the morning after they had slept together. But he knew he couldn't do that, not if he ever wanted a chance with Nesta. He knew that any wrong move could mean that he chases Nesta away, and this time for good, and he would do anything to prevent that. Perhaps the fear of losing her was what stopped him from telling Nesta about the mating bond. He knew she couldn't feel it, there was no way in hell that Nesta would leave his balls attached if she could feel the mating bond. Cassian had seen the disaster that was Feyre finding out Rhys hadn't told her about their mating bond, and knew that he should learn from his brother’s mistake, but he was a coward, and couldn't bring himself to add another strain on their relationship.  

Before the war, he had considered telling her. He almost did so many times, but there was never the right time, or they were interrupted or something bigger was going on. Or maybe he was a coward. Actually, he was definitely a coward, he knew that. He knows that he should have told her a long time ago, when it first snapped into place for him. But Cassian knew that she didn't feel anything. He suspected the mating bond was one-sided, which is why he never told anyone. He had pulled at the tether tying him to Nesta and found nothing. So he had resigned himself to just accepting whatever scraps of Nesta he could get in his life.  

Cassian couldn't quite believe that Nesta was pregnant. He had dreamt of it once or twice, and he couldn't quite believe that this was real, that this was happening. He had dreamt of having a loving family with Nesta, raising children together and being madly in love. They were always worse than the dreams he had of Nesta, now mixed in with memories of that night panting above him, moaning his name, kissing him, grinding down on him, throwing her head back in ecstasy, her pert breasts bouncing as she moved in ways to make sure that he hit her sweet spot, doing all the work because she thought Cassian was an idiot. Cassian was too in awe to do anything but let the goddess of a woman on him take her pleasure from him until she moaned his name and he felt something in him snap as he flipped her over and-  

Cassian groaned, rubbing his face, trying to avoid going down that path. He adjusted himself, his trousers already feeling a little snug, an uncomfortable feeling which he'd had to get used to, because he can't ever stop himself from thinking about that night. Ever since they had sex, it had been hell trying to avoid Nesta. He wanted more, and not just of her body. He wanted to sit with her when she was reading her books, eat his dinner with her, wash the dishes with her. He wanted to hold her in his arms in bed because he had never slept so peacefully as he did when Nesta had laid next to him. He wanted Nesta to permeate his entire life, so he could feel her presence in every aspect. Even when she was driving him crazy, she somehow calmed him, soothed his soul in a way he had never felt before.  

He had been stupid enough to assume that having sex with Nesta would make things easier for them, that there would be less explosive sexual tension involved. He was a fool for being so weak that night. He knew he shouldn't have, the voice of reason in his head warned him this was a bad idea. But the voice of reason that night had been too quiet, drowned out by the alcohol, and the lust coursing through both their veins. Rhys had once said to him that he thought with his dick, not his head. Cassian at the time had been very offended, but now he thought perhaps Rhys had been right. He didn't always think like that, but maybe he did with Nesta. He knew he had that night, anyway.

It didn't matter what was to blame. The damage was done, and Nesta was pregnant due to his carelessness. He should have made sure he had taken his tonic even if he hadn’t been having sex for months since before the war, he should have made sure Nesta had something afterwards just to make sure, he should have never slept with her in the first place, he should have never let her walk away that morning. He just hoped and prayed to any of the gods who would listen, that this pregnancy wouldn't be the thing that broke Nesta beyond repair. He couldn't live with himself if this made Nesta spiral even more than she already was. He had already guessed that perhaps the things he had said on Solstice had hurt Nesta more than she could ever say. Cassian just added it to the list of things he failed her in. He knew he should stay away from her after that because anything he did would make it worse. And now he had made it so much worse.

Cassian wasn't keeping tabs on Nesta, he would never do her the disservice, but he had heard people talking around the camp. He knew that she would visit Emerie, and the two had something that might resemble a friendship. He knew that she would spend time in the healers’ tent. He remembered the way that during the war she had helped in the healers’ tent. He was glad she was going out and about, that she was giving herself some sort of purpose. Although Nesta put up a front of being an ice queen, he knew that she cared about people, perhaps too much. Healing was a way for Nesta to help people, and he felt that perhaps that was a fitting place to start healing herself too.  

Feyre had suggested that Nesta trained with the females, to try and give her a sense of purpose, and so she could fight. Cassian said he would see how things went, but had never mentioned it to Nesta. He saw the way she couldn't even look at the fighting rings, and that was enough to tell him that fighting and training with the females was the last thing that would give Nesta a purpose. Nesta could not be what Feyre had become. Cassian knew better than anyone that you couldn't send someone into the training ring if they didn't want to be there. It was always going to be a recipe for disaster, for the person training and everyone else close by. He wasn't going to force Nesta to do something she had made very clear she hated, despite all his jokes and teasing when she had been newly made. She had been through enough, she didn't need to suffer anymore. If Nesta ever asked him to help her train, he would be more than happy to help, but unless that happened then training would never happen. He knew that Amren had taught her some things, but he didn’t know what. He just knew that he trusted Amren to teach Nesta what she needed to know.

Cassian closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He finally was starting to understand why Azriel said he got stress headaches because sure enough, he could feel a dull pounding in his head. It wasn't incapacitating, but it was annoying. He'd have to go to the healer's tent before it got any worse. With Nesta asleep, there was nothing else to do but wait until she woke up. They needed to talk about what happened, and about what would happen in the future. He needed to make it very clear that he would support her no matter what, and be there every step of the way.  

Cassian left Nesta a quick note telling her where he was just in case she woke up while he was gone and left it on the kitchen table. Then he left and quickly went over to the healers’ tents. He asked for a headache tonic which they procured quickly enough. Then, as he was leaving the tent he saw the healer who had been to see Nesta.

"Theodora!" He called over to catch her attention.

Theodora looked up slightly startled to hear her name being called, but her expression settled when she saw Cassian. She gave him a small nod, which Cassian took as he could go over to her. Theodora was sat cleaning her instruments, lots of little shiny objects that Cassian couldn't even begin to guess what their use would be. There was an empty chair nearby, which Cassian sat on, not wanting to loom over the female ominously as they spoke.  

Before Cassian could even open his mouth, Theodora spoke in a rather cutting voice. " I hope you're not here to ask for personal information about my patient. You should know better by now. I will not indulge it to anyone. It is her choice who to tell, including the High Lord and Lady." She didn't even look up at him as she spoke. Rather than it being the picture of Illyrian female submission, Theodora somehow made her not looking at Cassian seem like an insult to him. Cassian felt the corners of his mouth lift slightly at the female who had obviously decided that Nesta needed to be defended no matter what happened and that she would be the person to do it. He was glad that Theodora was going to be looking out for Nesta.  

"That's not why I'm here and you know it. I would never do her the disservice," Cassian raised his hands in surrender as Theodora finally looked up at him.  

"Then why are you here? You have your headache tonic." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

"I wouldn't force her to tell anyone. Not even if it was my brother and her sister. That’s her business. I just want to help her." Cassian let a small sigh escape him.  

"Good. If you did try, I would have to make sure you were unable to get anyone else pregnant," Theodora glared at Cassian now.  

"How long will the sickness last?" Cassian asked, deciding to just ask the questions he needed to ask before Theodora castrated him, although he couldn't help frowning, feeling offended that she would ever assume he'd want to get anyone else pregnant.  

"It can depend on the person. For some, it only lasts for a few weeks, for some it can be 3 months. There are even those unlucky souls who are sick for their entire pregnancy. The normal amount of time is around 3 months. I have a tea she can drink which will help in the mornings. She should drink it first thing when she wakes up."

"3 months?" Cassian couldn't hide the shock, the horror of the idea of Nesta suffering even for 3 months. He prayed to the caldron that she wouldn't be the rare cases that have it last the entire pregnancy. Then again, with her being made, who knows how different a pregnancy will be for her, compared to another fae.  

"What does that look on your face mean?" Theodora asked, looking at Cassian as though she'd never seen him before.  

"If she keeps the baby, will it be dangerous for her? I know it's dangerous anyway, but will it be more dangerous because she was made?" Cassian looked down at his hands which were pulling at a loose thread hanging off of his shirt. Even at over 500 years old, Cassian couldn’t hide his nerves when talking about Nesta.

"I'm not sure. She doesn't seem very different to anyone else, so I can't imagine her body will react too differently to someone who wasn't made. The thing is, I can't be sure. I've never met someone who was made before her, let alone treat them."

Cassian felt his whole body slump as a sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. He had done this. He had possibly put Nesta in danger, again! If she kept the baby, she could be putting herself at risk. He would never ask her to keep the baby, no matter how much he dreamed of having a family with her, but now, this was something else entirely. He had hurt Nesta so many times and in so many different ways, through failing her, being a coward and being the Illyrian bastard that he was.  

Cassian stood up suddenly, almost dropping the headache tonic and the tea leaves for Nesta, but thankfully he managed to catch them. "Thank you for your help," he managed to choke out to Theodora as he quickly walked away.  

He heard light footsteps following him. "Where are you going now?" Theodora asked him, eyeing him with concern.  

"I have to go back to Nesta. I have to somehow convince her to get rid of this baby."

"What if she doesn't want to?" Theodora said, eyeing him warily. Cassian knew why. He knew what happened to those who wanted to keep a child when the father wanted to get rid of it. He knew enough of his mother's suffering.  

"I won't force her, and I won't abandon her. I just, I can't-" Cassian choked up on his words. He paused, forcing himself to take several deep breaths before continuing, his voice shaking. "I can't let my stupidity kill her."

Theodora looked as though she was trying to formulate a response, but Cassian didn't give her enough time to do that. He simply nodded at her and walked away, back towards the cabin where he had left the female he loved, sleeping peacefully.

Tags list (please let me know if you want to be added/removed to the tags list either by messaging me, reblogging and leaving a comment or sending me an ask!)

@hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash @sjm-things @bookstantrash @cursebreaker29 @humanexile @bookstantrash @iammissstark @stardelia @superspiritfestival

[purplepalmdelight]

why life is still okay (rambling fic rec pt. 1)

firstly: shout out to @trulyalpha for apparently owning my entire bookmarks page on ao3 (bc i only realised all my favourite fics were written by the same person,,, yesterday. bc im really smart like that) anyway breakdown of why she’s a stoncy saving grace thanks!!!

you ease my mind, you make everything feel fine.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842039)

yes this fic is from 2018. yes i read it every other week. it’s good for the SOUL. jonathan getting taken care of is always just such a good and sweet concept (maybe it’s my intense, undying love of him, but he deserves to be taken care okay) and. okay i’ll admit, sometimes i forget how fucking FUNNY this fic is, but it’s genuinely hilarious, okay? you gotta trust me on this. it makes me cackle at inappropriate times absurdly often. ("Hi." "Hi." "I want you, you fuck." is a top line. i laugh so hard every TIME.) all three of them are so incredibly in character, and somehow this NAILS the fact that they’re all massive disasters pretending to be confident. and i’m not someone that reads ~smut~ often (though it’s more mentioned than described, very non-explicit) but this didn’t make me even the least bit uncomfortable. it felt very natural and in character and made me laugh as much as the rest of the story. all in all, i always come away a little more in love with the characters, and that’s a really precious feeling.

you could be the one to make me feel something

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269476/chapters/32912745)

i take back everything i’ve ever claimed. this IS the funniest piece of writing i’ve ever read, and it WILL remain so, probably until the day i die. i honestly... barely have words. my expectations were high when i started it, but in retrospect, they were LEAGUES below what i got. the characterisation, the progression, the dialogue, the story; from the overarching aspects to the tiny details, it’s impeccable. i genuinely read this twice in one day, and then again the next. every single part of it is so good, but in terms of FAVOURITES... the christmas section. hilarious. down to its bones, well crafted and heart felt. it hits me right in the chest every time. the story, from the beginning, has me just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is, and as everything grows more intense, so does my investment. it pulls me in and doesn’t let me go until it’s good and ready to see me leave. again, the sexy aspects are so in character and natural that it’s uncomfortable or weird to read and instead just leave me grinning like an idiot. also ( “It did frustrate me, in more ways than one. It’s also a weird plan, like … did you expect me to be so overwhelmed by the power of a boner that I’d just admit my feelings?” is SUCH a funny line, i think about it literally every day. literally. every. day.) the characters are afraid to be messy, to make mistakes, and they all feel so ALIVE that when i leave the story, i feel like i’m leaving a friend. it’s honestly beautiful and honestly breathtaking. this story is better than a lot of published books, honestly, and i’m so grateful for it. so thank you.

i crash my car ‘cause i wanna get carried away!

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131202)

...you really wanted to make me cry, huh? i cried out of grief, yeah, out of the depth of nancy’s guilt and the pure rawness of her mourning, but i also cried out of catharsis as she came to terms, and out of laughter a few times. the bit about total eclipse of the heart as a motif was... that was so well done. i hate drawing comparisons, so please understand that this is criticism of a concept and not a particular story, but in so many stories then nancy’s grief feels... trivialised? that’s not quite the right word. romanticised, maybe. as someone who has lost a friend in the past, it’s just... it doesn’t feel realistic? and that’s okay, because it’s hard to nail something you haven’t experienced, and i wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone. it’s just that stories like this, where i can really resonate with nancy and follow the journey of her recovery WITH her are so rare. this story is a gem, it really is. i don’t love it for all the same reasons as the others, but i love it fiercely all the same.

there’s nothing magic going on, and then along came you

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994137)

sure, you could be the one is the funniest fic i’ll probably ever read, but nothing magic is such a close second. it’s laugh-out-loud, get-tears-in-your-eyes, fall-out-of-your-chair, and it’s also so goddamn SWEET i can hardly stand it. of the several fics i generally group together in my head (nothing magic, you could be the one + its sequels (might have to make an individual post about this series), laugh until we think we’ll die, and got nothing for you; all very similar, yet incredibly unique) nothing magic is the shortest, but that doesn’t mean it compromises on quality, oh no. it just means i can read it quicker, and therefore more often! when it’s late and i’m tired and i need a laugh to calm down before i sleep, i generally go search this fic up. remember when i mentioned the whole “being just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is” thing? it’s like that except... almost funnier. in you could be the one, it’s just that the story naturally tugs you into adoring these two messy, silly, sweet, amazing young adults, because how could you not? how else could you possibly feel? but here, they are genuinely just... that funny. they are actually just so funny that you as a reader click with them and find yourself grinning like an IDIOT because oh my god you’re disasters. maybe it’s the inherent relatability of a tired highschooler trying to make it through the summer and hating his job along the way, but this fic hits right in the heart every damn time.

got nothing for you other than love

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596658)

"You trust me," she says.

They both know it's a fact, not question, but he still says, "Of course."

and

By then, his shell wasn't something he could step out of. It was part of him. But that was okay. He didn't need more. What he had was enough.

He always did have trouble with wanting more.

and

"Hey, babe?" Nancy turns her head to look at Steve, touching his shoulder. "Can you buy me a drink?"

"Sure thing. What d'ya want?"

"Surprise me. Not like that time we were here and you snuck out the store, went to a smoothie stand, and came back with a mango smoothie."

Steve grins. "But I did surprise you."

and

"Do you have food in the backseat?"

"The sandwich has only been there for like, two weeks—"

and

"Ugh. Too much cheese. I'm lactose-intolerant, remember?"

"False, you're not intolerant of anyone except people over the age of fifteen with bowl cuts and guys who wear shorts in the winter."

and

"Where are you off to? I'm your only friend," Kali says, frowning.

and

"You good, man?"

"Yeah," he says, his throat dry, "I'm great."

"Yeah, you are," Nancy says, and he is. He is.

and i can’t continue because that’s, like, barely halfway into the fic and i’ve already skipped so many of my favourite lines and i would have to skip so many more. you see what i mean about sathana being funny as hell? and like all the others, it’s not just the humour here. i mean... it is, because it’s SO FUCKING FUNNY I LITERALLY CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH but the reason it’s so funny is because it’s so candid. it’s so smooth. the whole thing flows. you’re not left feeling that you’ve missed a piece or that anything was sacrificed; you just feel like you’ve read something incredible. this fic is an experience of its own that i honestly have never experienced before. it’s sweet, and it’s gentle, and it’s just so overwhelmingly good that i don’t think i’ll ever quite get over it. in short? it’s a blessing. my expectations were high, but holy fuck did you blow them to bits.

one more favourite line:

Things are ending, things are starting, and everything looks bright. It won't always be that way. The sun's got to set at some point. But, gazing up at the sky, at the pink bleeding into orange, Jonathan figures it'll have to rise again. No matter what happens, these two things are constant.

"Hey, you look awfully lonely," Nancy calls out, walking towards him, reaching out to him with the hand not in Steve's.

Well. Maybe not just those two things.

that scene, in general, is beautiful, and it wraps the story up on such a genuine note. it feels like a film with how clearly i can picture it. it feels like no fic i’ve ever really read before. it feels... good. i guess i don’t really have the words. it just feels so good.

as an overall statement on why i call her my favourite author... it’s the realism. maybe that’s surprising, considering how many times i said “funny” or “hilarious” in here, but in the end, i wouldn’t be so attached to her work if it didn’t feel so real. i can open a tab and instantly get transported to a home i’ve never lived in. it’s comfortable. it’s sweet. and the dialogue/banter is always perfectly crafted. there’s just never really a downside to her fics, honestly. even if i wanted to search, i don’t think i’d find one. not even one of those “their only problem is that there’s not more to enjoy” kind of comments, because every single one feels perfectly crafted in its own right. it doesn’t need more or less. it stands for itself and it’s goddamn good at it.

i didn’t anticipate having to do multiple parts on this post, but- surprise surprise- i haven’t even gotten to my favourite one yet! so yeah, pt. 2 will be written after i finish the history essay trying to murder me, god knows when that is. in the meantime, please go give her some love and adoration. she deserves it.

[hwanuels]

n.jm: where were you?

summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time. 

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!

part two!

you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren 

so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors 

its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink 

typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing

still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out” 

his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder

“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$ 

“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill 

AND SUPRISE it doesn’t 

both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?

this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno. 

nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other

like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty 

nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them

here where out little y/n comes in

surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin 

both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived 

your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one 

you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies 

jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you

don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one 

like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate

imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit 

this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin 

all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids

once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls

and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around 

u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey 

like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages 

jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly 

or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight 

tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that? 

jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident 

basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple 

ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES

anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen. 

no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did. 

didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation

and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you 

this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title

at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan

honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck. 

yall never talked again 

here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS 

u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan 

so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend 

“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face” 

“you're a fucking idiot, haechan” 

“listen bitch, i’m not done” 

“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.” 

you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point 

but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else 

and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella 

“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy 

“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years

“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile  “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that” 

“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word 

ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice

“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure  “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.” 

oh shit 

you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete

“ummmm” 

“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!” 

haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her 

“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.” 

you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how?? 

“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt” 

“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided 

haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you” 

oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit 

“i’ll do it. just text me the details.” 

“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off 

“i hate her” haechan stated

“you hate everyone” 

CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered 

the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes

now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again) 

ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner

there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters” 

well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first. 

“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone

a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk 

“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty, 

“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called 

you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head 

FUCK THIS

you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two 

ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.” 

you nearly popped a blood vessel 

300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them

so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon 

“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot. 

you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half 

150 it’s not that bad 

15 a day

hell yeah

it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.  

he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time 

“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school 

he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked

all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet 

the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break

“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways 

you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up 

“yeah, go ahead” 

“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?” 

i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project 

you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse

“can you repeat that?” 

“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno” 

“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit

you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used

you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation 

but boy was jaemin stubborn 

“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you. 

this time he sounded more lighthearted than before

you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face 

damn was he good looking smiling like that 

“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car

inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck? 

“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat 

“what the fuck?” you say 

“huh?”

you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?” 

poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack? 

that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said 

you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making 

was he flirting with me? or was he serious?

he sounded sad when i said that tho? 

at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right. 

he’s probably just flirting

until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class 

“did you come up with a good explanation yet? 

his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp 

“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show 

“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy 

“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler 

you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing

that little shit head came to school high again

you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him

leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left 

jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head 

“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station 

you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime

“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan 

jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan

“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know” 

jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male 

jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics 

but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.” 

except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous 

maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke 

“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you 

now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf 

immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?” 

“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes 

those aLMost worked 

“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off 

“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me” 

then he winks 

and he's gone

“what in the holy fuck just happened?” 

the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable 

haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues” 

“stfu before i slit your throat” 

the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy 

the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school 

he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating 

by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended 

you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes. 

marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain” 

jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly

“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete 

jeno is all like????wydm 

and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh 

“he doesn’t like being left on read” 

“what do you mean?” 

“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?” 

tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him

was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident

you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin? 

“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.” 

jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?” 

“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.” 

now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid! 

so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do

angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them 

you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year 

you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella 

he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame) 

everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day 

and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup 

WHICH YOU DIDN”T 

you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair! 

it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did 

y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year? 

you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!

seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”  

fattest facepalm 

so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration

wow we love a productive y/n 

alrighty this is where shit goes down 

now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof 

she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box 

“you finished all of it?” 

“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down 

“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand 

since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year 

so fuck it 

“hey ella, can i ask you a question?” 

the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!” 

“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out 

in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes 

“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way 

her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT 

confused!y/n is even more confused 

however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho 

you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?  

tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth 

“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine 

he let go of your mouth to switch on the light 

“are you fucking insane?” 

“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you” 

you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?” 

“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date” 

you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head 

“fine” 

and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you 

cheesy i know. 

“let’s go now!” 

the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you 

is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date? 

but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet 

so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor 

jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for 

there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit 

jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean) 

“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments 

you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup 

“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while” 

“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere. 

“lol i could be doing other things with my time.” 

jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?” 

“what about him?” 

“are the two of you a thing?” 

you nearly gagged 

“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too” 

“good” jaemin says really contently. 

“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked

taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae

instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?” 

you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature

“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.” 

he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes 

“do you know why she was mad at you?” 

you shook your head

jaemin smiled again 

this time it kinda looked sad :( 

“because she knew that i was in love with you”  

[briinstardust]

I agree parental judgement is definitely one of those things making buck nervous and that he never got their approval hence bobby/ needing the job but I feel like theres more then just that alone, look at how buck became so determine to help eddie/chris introducing carla when buck was still getting to know eddie

That’s an interesting point you bring up and I def wanna talk about that.

so Buck bringing Carla to Eddie... if we watch 2.04 we can see that as soon as they get done with that call, these two idiots in love are flirting. and Buck then drives Eddie to the hospital, when he absolutely did not have to. but he did it bc he cares for Eddie, he was already in the stage of having a crush on him. and we know that the minute Peppa says Eddie is a saint but she prays for him anyway, that Buck got the Carl idea in his head. Let's be honest, we know when we see the gears turning in that beautiful blonde head, that he’s gotten an absolutely brilliant idea brewing in there. and he did, Carla.

now is this a case of Buck seeking approval with Eddie? maybe. or is this a case of Buck seeing a kid and his instincts kicking in over a kid he barely knows, but bc he knows this child’s father, he knows this kid is amazing, and he’s already formed an attachment without realizing it and wanting to help in any way possible bc he loves children? maybe.  is this Buck seeing a man he’s falling for struggling and wanting to do anything to make his life easier bc he’s starting to have feelings that he can’t ignore? maybe. Is Buck coming up with this idea to introduce Carla to Eddie more than one thing combined? yes. 100% yes.

how does this track with Buck’s need for approval? I 100% do not think that Eddie would not have approved of being friends, or something more with Buck if that had not happened. I just don’t. I think that Buck introducing Carla and Eddie only cemented Eddie’s feelings. we see at the end of that episode Eddie’s “I’m falling for him” look. we see it. even if Eddie doesn’t realize he’s falling for Buck, we know he is. in fact we know he’s falling for Buck from earlier in the episode. so let me backtrack a second bc I got a little lost tbh.

Sure. we can say that Buck does this for approval, sure, we can. I don’t see this as an instance of Buck looking for approval from Eddie simply bc I don’t think Buck is doing it for approval. he’s doing it bc he cares and he’s Evan Buckley, and he cares about everyone, and regardless of his issues, he is a good caring person, and he would do this for Eddie. bc he cares for not only Eddie but for Christopher as well.  Now I think I got a little off track again so let me backtrack once again.

now let’s say this is a Buck doing this for approval thing lets say that’s what's happening here. What other context does that give us for Buck then? bc he’s seeking approval from someone he doesn’t even know, and not just their approval, but he’s doing things for their child, so... that makes it hit differently as well if we’re thinking about this in the way of Buck seeking approval in this instance. does it not?

I just want to make sure that you know that I don’t think this is an instance of Buck seeing approval, I think what we’re seeing in this instance is something else completely. do I think Buck has looked to Eddie for approval before? absolutely, I just don’t think this particular case is one of those instances. but feel free to disagree! let's talk about it!

[rosesfromcth]

HoneyedHood Birthday Celebration

So yesterday, May 12, was Brinkley’s ( @honeyedhood ) 19th birthday. And I told her I would write her a fic bc I wanted to and I suck bc i procrastinated and took so long to get it done bc i am a procrastinator. But I love Brinkley with my whole damn heart and she deserves the whole damn world and calum hood could be so lucky to love her and to be loved by her. Without further ado, here you have it and i am sorry for any typos or mistakes. 

You groaned as your alarm went off from the nightstand on your side of the bed. Flipping onto your side, your hand fumbles its way to the silence button.

Slowly, you rolled up in to a sitting position, careful to not wake your sleeping boyfriend. After stretching out, you slide your feet into your favorite slippers that are lying on the side of your bed and pad over to the joint master bathroom where you turn the shower on to hot. You hop in and try to shower as quickly as possible as you had slept in a bit longer than usual.

After hopping out of the shower and drying off, you slip into your robe and head to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.  You wait for it to finish brewing and make two pieces of toast before pouring two mugs of coffee to go with it. You carefully bring both ‘meals’ into the bedroom and set Calum’s on his night stand for when he wakes up. After munching on your toast, you decided to pull some music up to play softly while you do you get ready. Youngblood is what plays through the speakers as you apply makeup, softly brushing on some blush and a light coat of mascara. Being in a kitchen all day makes it pointless for you to do a full face of makeup as it normally will sweat off so you like to keep it light.

Calum slowly wakes up and chuckles at your music choice. You turn and smile at him when you hear his laugh.

“Morning, baby.” He calls gently as he reaches for his coffee cup. This has become your morning routine for when he is on tour. You normally sleep in pretty late since do you don’t go to work till around noon, Calum likes that. He like staying in bed with you all morning and cuddling. But when you work, you’ll wake up and make coffee and some light breakfast for the two of you and start to get ready until he slowly wakes himself up to the smell of coffee and whatever show or music you are listening to. Then you’ll talk quietly as he continues to wake up, or you’ll just do your thing in silence while he watches you.

You walk over and press a kiss to his lips to greet him but his arms quickly snake around your waist and pull you onto his lap.

“Bee, Do you have to go into work today?” Calum whines as he presses kisses to your forehead and cheeks. He had just gotten home from tour that past Saturday and while you’d spent all of Sunday together it didn’t seem to be enough. “Please stay home with me. I missed you.”

He pulls you back into a kiss and your hands find their way to his neck and run through his short, short hair. Before you get too attached to the kiss, you force yourself to pull away.

“I do.” You nod as you lean into him, sighing. His arms tighten around your body, trying to pull you close again.

“Please. I just need one more day with you before you go back to work.” He begs. He was lucky you’d been able to get yesterday off. “Brinkley.”

You climbed off his lap, moving back to your vanity to put your makeup away.

“Cal, I just don’t know how I would swing that to my boss.” You explain before turning to your closet to put on your day’s outfit for under your uniform.

“Just tell him your extremely good looking and talented boyfriend is home and you need the day off.” His voice keeps growing whinier. “Or that you’re sick. You’re in the food industry, they won’t want you to come in if you are sick. Please I’ll pamper you all day, we can watch Great British Bake Off and eat junk and do all the things we love.”

You can feel yourself starting to cave in so you just shake your head, at yourself more so than Calum for letting yourself be this weak to his demands. Calum seems to think this means no, you won’t be staying home but you just grab your phone and start dialing the number.

Even though you insist on being sick, your boss sees right through you asking how your boyfriend is. Luckily, he’s pretty sympathetic to your long distance situation and just chuckles telling you to have a good day and that he’ll see you the next day.

Calum cheers hearing you say that you’ll see your boss on Tuesday instead. You quickly change out of your clothes and back into some comfy sweats and one of Calum’s t-shirts.

“You fucking idiot! Everyone knows you need to whip the egg whites to a stiff peak before you mix in the other ingredients in. If you have no idea how to make a genoise sponge, how’d you even get on the show?” Calum yells at the tv as you laugh at him. “It’s not funny. She can’t make the most basic sponge that they require you to make every season on the show. How does she expect to ever get star baker, let alone win the show?”

He gets pretty worked up over the show and often gets mad at the contestants so it’s your job to calm him down but only after you laugh at him. Often times he will ask you to help him learn how to make whatever they are making on the show. But that doesn’t always turn out so well because he gets frustrated and realizes just how hard it really is, or he gets bored and throws food at you resulting in you kicking him out of the kitchen.

But today, you nixed baking and decided to just stay in bed. Your hands were wandering each other’s bodies, softly exploring what they already knew. His hands would give light squeezes on your hips and he’d place soft kisses to your hair. While your hands would trace patterns on his bare chest. Your legs were wrapped around each other and your head was resting on his shoulder.

As you lay there watching the show you decide you’re hungry and want to get a bowl of popcorn but Calum refuses to let you get up. He’s been like this all day, very whiny. He won’t let you leave the bed, or if you do he follows you, his arms wrapped around you from behind as he holds you while you walk to wherever you’re going in your house. You had to draw the line at him following you into the bathroom though.

Yesterday, the two of you had gone to brunch with some of your other friends and spent the day in town so it was nice to have today to just relax.

After grabbing your popcorn and a drink to go with it, you head back to the bedroom and plop down into the bed where duke had taken over Calum’s half of the bed. Calum doesn’t mind this though because it gives him more reason to cuddle with you. He quickly falls back into the position he was holding you before you got up.

“I love you.” You whisper quietly to him, the Great British Bake Off is now just background noise as the two of you softly talk to each other and admire one another.

“I love you, Brinkley.” He responds, filling your stomach with butterflies. The two of you are quiet for a moment. As you take a hold of his much larger hand in yours and fiddle with his fingers and his rings, his other hand gently plays with your short, dirty blond hair. “So much. I love you so damn much.”

The thing about your relationship was, you never needed to be loud about your feelings for each other. Because you were so comfortable with one another and understood each other so well. The softness and sweetness of every moment made it so much better, more personal and perfect for the two of you and your relationship.

He pressed another soft kiss to your forehead and looked at you for a few minutes, studying the way your eyes crinkled slightly as your smiled and how perfectly your hand fit in his.

“Marry me?” He whispers, all of a sudden.

“What?” It comes out of a your mouth before you can even fully comprehend what he’s asking, He’s looking in your eyes, intently and repeats himself, this time with more confidence.

“Marry me,” He says. “I’m serious. I had planned to take you out to dinner later this week when I’d had a chance to settle in more. But this is perfect for us. This is who we are and I can’t think of a better way to ask you to be my wife. I love you with everything in my being and I wouldn’t be who I am without you. You are the kindest, smartest and most caring woman I know and I never want anyone else to be by my side. So please, Marry Me?”

At this point he is smiling at you and a little out of breath but you are tearing up. You are so in love with this man so the only thing you can say is.

“I do. I will marry you. Yes.” You exclaim and he pulls you into you for a kiss and to hug you tight. “I love you.”

[multishipperlove]

More from this lovely sastiel AU (shhh, I know I’m the only one who cares about this) bc I wrote this months ago, when I also posted the first thing, but meh... I’ll never complete anything written in my LIFE so might as well post my ramblings here.  Complete backstories for this AU under the cut: 

Sam and Cas meet at a support meeting for single dads or single parents in general. Claire is four, Jack just turned three a few days ago.

Sam and Jack – Sam met Jack's mother, Kelly, while they were both still at the beginning of their college careers. Jess had just died, leaving Sam grieving and not quite as emotionally stable as he would have liked. Due to this, and some other problems (drug use? Sam and Kelly both getting their fixes from Ruby, Sam sobers up after the whole pregnancy thing, realizing he's slowly loosing control. It takes time and a shit ton of effort, regular AA meetings, but he's probably never been as proud of himself as he's after “getting over” his addiction. He's aware that Kelly might not have made it), their relationship never really became serious, always being an on-off sort of thing. The pregnancy was definitely not planned. They talked about it, a lot, considering what possibilities they had and what they wanted to do. In the end, they made the decision to get an abortion. They agreed to split the costs and that Sam would drive her, as well give her all the support he could, emotional and otherwise. But the morning he arrived to take her to the clinic, she was gone. The only thing left was a letter, telling him she'd changed her mind and not to come looking for her. Nevertheless, Sam was worried sick and wanted to find her, if for nothing else than to offer child support or something. He took the letter to the police, but was told they couldn't do anything since she'd gone away willingly. During the next couple of days, weeks and months he kept trying to contact her, but kept running into dead ends. Eventually, he decided to stop trying.

About two and a half years later, when he was almost done with law school, she suddenly returned. One Saturday evening he opened the door to see her with a crying toddler on her hip, looking completely exhausted and Sam quickly realizes that she's probably also still using, or using again. She all but drops the baby off with him, telling him it's all too much and if he keeps screaming, she might hurt him. Before he can even ask for the little guy's name, she's gone.

The next few days are a blur and an eternity at the same time. He finds an envelope in the box she dropped off, containing some important papers and Jack's birth certificate. Jack is also the name stitched into the baby blanket the toddler won't let go off, and seeing the shaky stitching, Sam's pretty sure that Kelly did that herself. The next morning he goes shopping, and after that he drags Jack to every person who thinks might be able to help him. There's so much he needs to worry about, custody, whether the boy's going to stay with him or not, what the legal situation is, if the child is well, if he can even afford a damn kid because he still has six months of law school left and god knows it's not getting easier after that. It's Tuesday when he realizes he hasn't even called his brother yet, or any of his friends, and after dialling his brother's number with shaking fingers he has his first breakdown. But Jack has just fallen asleep in the new crib in his bedroom, so he tries to keep it quiet. Luckily, Dean already knows about the whole story with Kelly and seeing how freaked his little brother is, he manages to stay calm. He tells their “uncle” Bobby, the man who took them in after John threw them out, and asks for a few days off to help Sam get settled. Or find an adoption agency, whatever he needs. Bobby feels like he wants to yell at Sam for not calling sooner and tells Dean to get going.

Later, after being called to come back in by a doctor, Sam's told that Jack shows some symptoms that could come from drug consume during the pregnancy. However, without Kelly there to tell them what she took, they can't be sure and will just have to see how Jack develops. Cue Sam's second breakdown. After that, Sam notices that Jack is a bit slow at times, needing more time to understand things than other kids, and doesn't do well in social situations. He's a clingy kid, and at first very shy. Later he gets over that a bit but still remains socially awkward and too naïve for his own good at times. “I was almost sober for nine months, it was hell!”  “'Almost'?!”

After about six months of living with the kid, Sam wouldn't give him up for anything. He's fully accepted his responsibility of being a parent and loves Jack with all his heart. Jack often asks for his mother, but with time it becomes less. Sam has a feeling that it's not the first time she's dropped him off somewhere without coming back for a while. He picks up his studies again, after having taken a leave for a few months, his professors/boss thankfully being understanding, and things seem to get back to normal. Bobby and Dean are already attached to Jack as well.

Then, in the middle of the day this time, Kelly is suddenly back. And she demands that Sam lets Jack go with her. Sam refuses, naturally, and tries to talk to her at first. About how much better Jack is doing in a stable home, how he'll need special care with some things that Sam will be able to provide once he's found a job, and how much he loves the kid. But Kelly starts to get hysterical, and eventually he's forced to throw her out. She threatens him, telling him she'll take it to court and that Jack is legally hers. As soon as he hears that Sam panics, suddenly realizing that he never did, in fact, look into the legal situation. Which is beyond stupid since he's a lawyer. So he rings up an old friend who went into family law and who knows about his situation, asking him for advice. At least until he can make an appointment with someone else, because right now he's desperate. When the first letter from Kelly's lawyer arrives, Sam's prepared.

The custody battle takes years, and Kelly refuses to give up. It's still going by the time Sam finds himself at the first support meeting, and he's still afraid that he'll have to give Jack up despite knowing that it would be ridiculous and that no judge would give Kelly sole custody after what she's done. He also tries not to take Jack to court appointments with him, knowing it's not fair on the little boy. He's offered Kelly early on that she can come and visit them though. So far, she hasn't.

One day his baby sitter calls in sick, or with an emergency of their own, and Sam isn't able to get a replacement in time for the court date. Not knowing how to help himself, but remembering that one of the other parents in the support group (a remarkable hot parent, but he tries not to think about that because what the fuck Sam, that guy lost his wife not too long ago) gave him their number to set up a playdate, he eventually calls Cas. Cas is more than happy to help out. Since Sam and him are both new in town, new in the support group, and their kids are almost the same age, he'd been hoping to hear from the man. If he can help out, all the better.

Sam doesn't know that, of course, and feels incredibly guilty for dropping Jack off at the other man's house. Once he gets back from the appointment, obviously exhausted and mentally drained, Cas even invites him to stay for dinner (since he just got done anyway, and oh, what a coincidence, he made too much). Sam keeps thanking him during the dinner and promises to make it up to Cas, maybe with a coffee or two when he's got the time. Neither of them is aware of the accidental flirting, like the exhausted idiots they are.

Cas and Claire – Castiel Jimmy Novak married what he thought to be the love of his live, Amelia Everett, when he was 18, because they were both from conservative families. And living together, out of wedlock, is a sin. They even bought a house, getting them several hundred thousand dollar of debt. And for a while, they were happy. Cas got a job as an accountant (he's good with numbers) and Amelia agreed to stay home and take care of the household. She was never really happy with that though, and things quickly started to go south when she wanted to take a job as well. Cas, as the head of the household, didn't want to feel like he couldn't take care of his family, and this was only one of the issues which kept coming up in their fights. But being the good Christians that they are, they wanted to make things work out and were willing to work on their marriage as well, even if it wasn't perfect. Their efforts were renewed once Amelia realized she was pregnant, and they were happy once more. Head over heels, actually. But Cas' blind faith as well as his blind obedience when it came to his own father or his boss still worried his wife, and she knew it wouldn't last.

And just like she had expected, about a year after Claire was born, everything took a turn for the worse again. Cas started to get more aggressive, yelling at her or even the kid when something didn't go his way, demanding obedience from her and dragging them around as if they were his property. She knew it wasn't right, and her friends kept telling her that it was abusive, and that her husband had some serious problems. Nonetheless, she stood by him. Until about another year later, when he started yelling at Claire, yelling at a two year old, at the table because she'd dared to reach for the food before they'd said praise. Trying to stay calm she'd gotten up, gathered her daughter and told Cas that she was leaving. He'd tried to stop her, of course, but he had never gotten physical. Which she was thankful for, otherwise she wasn't sure if she'd made it out that night. She knew her husband was going through a crisis, but that was no excuse for the way he'd been acting. She was able to stay at a friends house at first and told Cas that, if he ever wanted to see her and their daughter again, he'd need to change.

That was the first time Cas realized just how much he'd fucked up. He had known before, kind of, always feeling guilty after treating her like shit. He'd thought of his own mother, and how he'd sworn that he wouldn't become his father. Apparently, he'd failed in that regard. A few days later he called his family, to tell them what happened, only to learn that Amelia had now been shunned by her parents for being a disgrace of a wife and that both her parents and his parents were on his side. After a heated discussion with his father, that he didn't want their support and that he deserved what she'd done, that he was glad that she'd gotten Claire out of the house as well, he really decided to make a difference. First, he moved out of the house so Amelia and Claire could move back in. He got a small apartment and send every penny he could spare to his wife and child. And he started therapy, knowing full well (after already having gone through a bunch of psychology books as a teenager) that he wouldn't be able to break his own cycle of abusive behaviour without help. It took a lot of time, and several set backs, but eventually Amelia started to trust him again. At least she knew he was trying. Six months after Claire's third birthday, they agreed that he could move back in with them. The day before he did, Amelia was killed in a car accident.

Once again, Cas' entire world was shattered and this time he was the only one left to pick up the pieces. His family had turned away from him after he'd gone off at his father, and he'd never managed to find friends where he lived. Claire had always been a handful, and he had no idea how to raise a child on his own. For the first couple of months he stayed in the house with her, only going to work and to therapy, which helped him over the worst. Then he got a job offer in a different city, and the pay he was being offered was just too good to pass it up. So they packed their things, he promised Dr. Churley to find a new therapist, and off they went. Finding a therapist wasn't easy, but at least he found some support groups which he was sure would get him over the first couple of months. One that dealt with anger issues (though he mostly had that under control by now), one for depression, one for survivors of child abuse and... and one for single parents. And he thought why the hell not, he could need all the help he could get at the moment. At least one of these groups had to be good, and maybe even one good group would be enough.

When he got to know a certain Sam Winchester at his first group meeting, he was convinced that it had been the right decision. (Maybe later, Cas introduces him to the group for child abuse survivors as well because he realizes that Sam's got issues too)

Also, they'll both freak out a bit about being attracted to each other. Mutual Pining, naturally, with both of them thinking the other is straight.

Cas has issues because of his faith, Sam has issues because his bisexuality was one of the reasons he and his brother had to leave home. When John caught him kissing another guy in his room when they were supposed to be doing their homework, he'd freaked out. It had been one of the worst beatings Sam had ever gotten from his father, and that was saying something. Dean had found him at their secret hiding spot, still bleeding and trying hard not to cry his eyes out. For a moment, Sam had been afraid of his brother's reaction as well, but Dean had only hugged him and promised him he'd be save now. Then he'd loaded him into the Impala and driven them to Bobby, who'd already been waiting with open arms. Beyond a few overheard phone calls which mostly consisted of yelling, that was pretty much the last thing Sam had ever heard from his father.

[taecheeks]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation 2018

I wasn’t tagged in this but I wanted to do it so here we go

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year: 774,856 lakdjflkjfladklf

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting): (my wips are in order of when I last updated, not when I first posted)

Through Time I Found You (I feel like I posted this 9837473 years ago, I can’t believe it’s been less than a year since i posted my last ziam fic)

Enticing

play with me

Greedy

Wandering

media naranja

Kinktober ‘18

Maybe

Home For Christmas

Nodus Tollens

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction/Zayn, BTS

5. Pairings: Liam Payne/Zayn Malik, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi/Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin, and Kinktober has multiple pairings.

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: Nodus Tollens and then media naranja (this one was the fastest to get kudos, so I’m adding it)

Bookmarks: the same ^^

Comments: Nodus Tollens and then Through Time I Found You

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Nodus Tollens because it’s a lot different than what I’m used to writing and it was very difficult plot wise and characterization wise, but I’m happy with the way it turned out. There’s things that need to be fixed because I kind of just wrote and let the plot develop itself, and I was sure people wouldn’t like the plot twists. I also love my characters, I’m so attached to them. It’s also my longest fic and I don’t feel as if it’s dragging on, so I’m happy about that.

Also, media naranja. I wrote this fic as a break from the angst in nodus tollens and I was attempting to write a crack fic, and just a stupid/dirty overall fic and I actually got really great feedback for it. It made me really happy write it and really happy to see it do well. 

I didn’t think Through Time I Found You was last year but since it was, I’m going to mention that one too. That was SO hard for me to write because of the dialogue and because it took place in the 18th century. But my writing really improved because of that fic (and my amazing beta for that fic). 

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): None really. I post a lot of pwps that probably could be better, but there’s none I would say I’m not proud of. 

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing: ugh this is hard did you see the WC from this year kldjalkfjda. Here’s something from NT I was really excited to share:

“The new living room is a little off putting. Taehyung’s definition of homey means a little messy - his tattered couch a big eye sore in the middle of the room but after a few nights cuddling with Taehyung on it, he’s starting to fall in love with it.

Taehyung’s a little messy too, their relationship or whatever it can be called a little messy, but Jeongguk’s past the point of falling in love with it.”

And then here’s one from Wandering bc that fic is my baby and sope are platonic soulmate brothers and I need them to be happy and finish the story okay:

Admittedly, Yoongi has never understood the phrase “seeing red” when angered.

He understands now.

It is a volcano inside of him, moments away from erupting and destroying everything around him. The only thing keeping him from yelling at the group of people in the waiting room, who never fucking called him, and the doctors who waste his time, is Hoseok.

The shallow breathing doesn’t calm his anger, but it keeps the tremble in his limbs at bay. The flinch of Hoseok’s fingers against his own makes it difficult not to squeeze on tight in a hope of waking him up.

It is too difficult to look at him bandaged up, his face so swollen and bruised he is almost unrecognizable. So Yoongi rests his cheek on their clasped hands where he sits beside him and stares at the monitor instead. He’s thankful they took the breathing tube from him, it made it too difficult to look at him.

“Never thought I’d wake up next to that face.”

Yoongi rubs his sleep ridden eyes against the soft sheets. There is a slight quirk to Hoseok’s lips as he makes an attempt at squeezing Yoongi’s hand.

“Savor the moment, it won’t happen again,” Yoongi mumbles as he sits up. It is still difficult to look at him, but Hoseok doesn’t look his way either so he can divert his eyes for the time being. “Special circumstances.”

Hoseok attempts to laugh, but he ends up groaning instead. “Don’t make me laugh. I feel like a bucket of shit.”

“You look it,” says Yoongi, but the joke doesn’t feel genuine. He knows he should call the doctor, but there is a flicker of fear in his chest at the idea of leaving his side.

“What’s the damage?”

The doctors had told him the moment he stepped inside of the room, but Yoongi couldn’t focus on anything but the sight before him and the rage he felt at whoever did this.

“They broke your face. A um - in your stomach. Stitches, lots of stitches.”

A tightness takes over his throat and he swallows it down as he finally moves to the door to call the nurse. He can’t say it. Stabbed .

“I don’t remember much. It was dark. Nari, is she okay?”

Yoongi’s heart drops into his stomach as he sits by the bed again. “Your parents are out of state. But mine are here if you need them.”

This seems like a better thing to tell Hoseok, but it makes his chest ache.

Assholes, they always have been.

“I told them I was your brother so they would get off my ass.”

Hoseok snorts. “Idiots. You’re too ugly to be my brother.”

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Ah, I received so many great reviews this year. I am quite lucky.  I think my favorite recently was the latest on Nodus Tollens, which says: “ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK” x 3934 lmao

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This year has been pretty good for writing. The last couple years, I’ve been struggling. But this year, not so much. There were times where the plot was a bit heavy and difficult and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to where I wanted, or I realized I messed up a timeline and I had to work around that, but overall, pretty good. 

12. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Um Sope in Wandering. Like, it was supposed to focus on the romantic ships in that fic but it focuses on the platonic ones more. And sope a lot. I really, really enjoy their relationship in that fic.

Also, Bobby in Nodus Tollens. He’s a minor character in the fic, but I also get a lot of feedback about it. He’s a, bad guy but with a tortured past so you feel for him and realize he’s not really a bad guy. That trope, I’m protective of him and I’m sad when I write his scenes.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: Specifically? Not sure. I got better at commas lmao. I’ve tested myself and wrote things I hadn’t before. I went from really dark to comical stories, I wrote different kinks. I wrote characters as bad when they aren’t in real life, which I normally don’t like doing. I’m not usually a big fan of writing characters OOC, but I’ve gotten more comfortable if it’s appropriate for the story I’m writing. I put a lot of my own self into stories, I wrote about something very traumatic that happened to me in one - something that I haven’t even talked about really. 

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I can be a bit repetitive within my writing, I am working on this and I hope I improve. (Like for example, in the fic I’m about to post in a few days, I wrote JK saying he’s suffering and dying like 343 times lmao.) I also really suck at outlining and planning out fics in advance, which hasn’t been a huge issue but it’s offered me some roadblocks that I need to focus on bettering.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Oh man, well I’ve read some really amazing fics and the writing was so beautiful that it offered me a lot of motivation. @strawberrysuga is always a huge support for me and my writing, even though ambra offers me like 9897 au ideas when I’m trying to focus on the 8979 ones I’ve already written. There’s a lot of people on twitter who come to me between updates and though I write for myself, seeing their feedback and their love and encouragement has been such a good influence on me. 

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Oh yeah, every one of my fics has part of me in it whether it’s a character based on someone I know, or an event in my life. Wandering has a lot of it; the police scene, Taehyung hating cheese (me), it takes place in NE where I grew up. One of my fics has a scene based on me and my girlfriend. Umm so yeah a lot lol

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: So, this year was a good year for me and I was nervous because I was in a new fandom. As much as I’ve done well, I’ve never really gotten negative comments on my fics before until this year. And none of them were about my writing or my storyline, but unnecessary/rude comments. Like someone didn’t like how often a side ship showed up. Things like that. They bothered me, not necessarily because I took it personal, but because I can’t believe people can be so rude and think it’s okay to be that way lol. I think this will always continue to happen, I think it’s best to ignore these comments and try to focus on the good ones. Because the bad ones stand out, but there were very few compared to the good ones - but the bad always stands out more than the good. And it’s important not to focus on the bad. 

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m actually writing a fic right now I’m very excited to post. It was supposed to be a ‘I’ve never kissed anyone, please teach me’ type fic, but it’s not quite that anymore haha. There’s a lot of frog references because Jungkook’s an animal biology major who loves amphibians lakjldfkjda 

19. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: since I stole this, you can steal this from me and say I tagged you mwah

[theskyexists]

empress ki

are these koreans gonna go as far as to let this man fall for who he thinks is just some young cool guy?

i mean - they’re not chinese so

this is kinda silly lol. if she really wanted to be let go she could have just punched him. i guess that would have gone too far

this RANDOM assassin almost kills them - he disappears. we good. no worries.

where are her own men????

NOOOOO don’t ruin it

why the fuck would she have developed a feminine slap? i think theyre gonna ruin it. like contact with a male love interest will just forcibly feminise you

ok no she came up with an excuse

god - an openhanded slap from another man lol i can see how that might be quite offensive

she just chills in the crown prince’s bath no prob lol. ok so she locked the door

she just let herself get fuckin shot for this lol

this episode moves super fast but thats fun but i still don’t know how the king and the crown prince are related. the whole hostage thing really messed things up

i just realised that i love the bro/bro mlm stuff if its actually m/f. LOL.and I KNOW it’s going to only last one fuckin episode bc we’re gonna go right back to misgyny and chattel slavery especially for women but yknow

does she remember him?? did she send the bandana? i dont know on which side she really is.

yeah ofc shes the bandana guy. i mean - DUH.

WHY RISK YOUR OWN MEN - WHAT WAS THE PLAN

is this spy gonna get her bandana now???

or are these not her own guys?? THEY ARE

is she playing the king?? like - im still trustworthy though!!!! (or at least my men are) but how could she think to rely on the crown prince???

oh no the cool big sword moustache guy!!! why would he be the spy for the king????????????? what is there to gain??????? HE’S NOT THANK GOD

YES!!!! I LOVE THEM. ‘hit me’ BAM *violently and romantically perches over him to almost stab him*

aww haha the king is attached to seung nyang. too bad you’re an evil bastard she wants to destroy

i can’t quite tell why revealing the salt location drop off point is important or not. i guess it was just and only a test.

was that the guy in blue who volunteered to be shot at? : ‘( ah it’s not.its just some nobody. I guess she couldn’t have known who knew of her blue bandana so she had to hide it. But couldn’t she have told this guy from the very beginning when they were alone?

did the official guard not get told that more people were coming???? LOL. that’s one fuckin mess

HEROIC HORSERIDING YEAAAAAAAA did she not think of a reason for being alive? ‘kill me’ OH MY GOD hahahahaa. smart but so risky (it turns out that the crown prince is the crown prince but the king is the brother of his dad’s)

is there something you want? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MONEY oh my god this guy is gambling it all lol. oh no, he’s gonna make it too.

it’s always the ‘unrightful’ people that get villainised for wanting power

what the fuck her dad’s gonna kill all her friends and make her into a sex slave? jezus christ how dark (i read a synopsis that she gets sent to yuan after all somehow). on who’s fucking authority? couldn’t they have gotten at the very least a letter from the goddamn ‘auditor’ to protect them

oh my god. just wear your fucking ring on the outside of your goddamn clothes. that was so FUCKING close

wow that was a pretty realistic breakdown

GO SEE HIM HELLO!!!!

she became a fucking COP TO SEE HIM HOLY SHIT LOL

JUST SHOW HIM THE FUCKING RING

did she just leave her band of boys behind???

dude why is this series romance blocking me what the fuck

gotta show that Yuan is backward through furs and beads!!

i do love that this series had the guts to start off with heartbreak. but also to let the female protagonist be a big bi....amorous...?

this show somehow made me feel sympathetic towards a stinkin imperial rich kid. he didn’t ask to be born into a family that would become his death

‘young boy’ *is literally at least 40*

the KING has only 10 men to spare? really?

he’s gonna let his servant get fucking murdered in his stead? yikes. ok so that wasn’t his PLAN no. poor servant guy

so they got her a MATCH - a dirven and smart and powerful king. and a soft and unexperienced and endangered future emperor.

this is so much my fucking THING it’s insane. i don’t even mind that the king is kinda ...average looking.

and she kicks his ASS LOL. and he falls ultimately deeply in love with her. this is incredible.

i wonder if she’s going to hold the death of his servant against him

they didn’t even take his head? stupid. oh i guess that’s for the traitors.

SHE STILL DOESN’T GET ITS REALLY HIM. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART

really - she lets the fucking chief get the credit. are you fucking kidding me? fuck this. be smarter! hate having to say that to a character. Be! smarter!

now he gets to be WHY HIDE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FUCK. if this is gonna be the whole fuckign show i can’t take it.

im gonna need to know if she keeps fucking hiding. stop hiding! STOP. stop hiding from the important men in your life! what the FUCK. stop hiding from your dad. Stop HIDING FROM YOUR FUCKING BESTO BOYFRIEND

the prince isn’t even upset about his servant’s demise

fucking finally somebody found out seung nyang was the ONE

I love Strong King - I love vulnerable future Emperor

he’s just a stupid indoctrinated kid! somebody should explain to him all the horrors that have been done to people in his name!

we have a sequence in which she’s done great deeds, gets called in, is concerned about how she slapped the important person around lol

we’re gonna get teh exact same for Togon one day

jezus christ that’s a very romantic thing to say to a cool and heroic young guy who saved your skin twice, king. are you - i n l o v e? a lil bromance perhaps?

awww he’s so damn happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

she’s like - fuck. wish she stayed a little more ruffian though. wheres the fucking swagger!

how am i so into this m/m ship. LOL. im really into this stronk man and rogueish ‘boy’ bonding through hardship crisis crossing all rank

im up for her teaching the prince compassion and horror and the way of the world though

I KNOW this is soon going to devolve into a palace drama though so that fucking sucks

why is the emperor a young guy and the brother an old guy. was the emperor the preferred son? from the preferred wife?

has she never heard a guy pee??? i thought she lived with soldiers and shit

why the fuck is she carrying his excrement to the sea when she’s his BODYGUARD. this went differently than i thought

he literally is alone. there is no shift of the guard with him. hello?

what the fuck is this lax bodyguard shit. you need at LEAST two so one can sleep while the other guards.

everytime she bathes im like - ALARM ALARM

this jimbo traitor is so stupid lol

commander - just approach this stupid idiot. be the dad you want to be.

you could just become his son!!! hello????

so you really care about the peoplle huhg? thats why you keep selling off women?

oh my god. is the prince also falling in love with this ‘boy’? who embodies the masculine ideal? GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH im gonna cry when this is over and she ends up a fucking maid

this romantic fucking epic music as they struggle in a petty fucking competition in teh surf jlsjLKFJSDLJ:FLDSF I LOVE THIS

SHE VIOLENTLY PERCHES ABOVE THIS GUY TOO. ROMANTIC MUSIC

the koreans KNOW what is good. THEY KNOW.

oh this poor guy. please let this guy meet poor people. like. idk. the stolen women made into slaves and shit

yeah yeah they bond without him knowing about losing a parent and wanting revenge

the king is like, MY BOY!! that’s MY boy!! hands off!!!! that’s my dearest bromance boy friend!!!!

oh no - shes going to have to choose who to ride with lol

oh nooooooooo Seung Nyang don’t hurt King boyfriend !

‘he will not take Seung Nyang, will he?’  i had to double take there

I FINALLY understand the appeal of all unassailable men in romance. god, my brain is weird.

give seung nyang to me. dsjfpawejfeawjfljsdkljldsjflkdfsa dude. no. i know this is a love triangle but it is just within good if they do THIS moment right

the prince is a horrible shit

nooooo seung nyang please don’t hurt the king!!! he loves you!!!!

‘why am i burning up inside?’ YOU LOVE HIM!! YOU LOVE SEUNG NYANG!!! you love this guy!!! the koreans are daring lil mfs

where is the ruffian guy with the moustache and big sword?? he was the king’s left hand man when he wasn’t king yet.

the actress has really feminised Seung Nyangs mannerisms and way of movement past few eps (oh it’s a dream)

oh my god they’re no-homo-ing this through a dream. he just FEELS like Seung Nyang is a woman!!! that’s why he’s attracted!!! lol

seung nyang loses her dad. prince doesn’t notice. jezus

he impressed some dudewith his self-righteous dragon heaven propaganda. goddddd. the prince truly does not care how many people have already died for him. WHEN will he become likeable instead of hilariously piteous

just absolutely devastating end scene. shitty k-pop outtro.o hgod

will the prince finally - through seung nyang realise that actaully it fucking sucks that people keep being horribly harmed and killed for his sake?

JEZUS CHRIST I AM ON EPISODE 5 wHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE 60 episodes long. oh my god no.

the thing i like about this show is that she looks believably like a very feminine boy for korean standards.

they keep playing him as childish, selfish and incompetent. but like, soooo many people DIED FOR HIM

hwo didn’t they kill bayan for obviously killing their own guard lol

finally she confronts him with the regular people!!!

what is lord jang doing with them

wow the commander’s beard is long. they been going for a while

well he is suffering - but can’t she get to him through words. make him a better person?

he is asking an important question. ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT

thsi ‘warming’ is so ridiculous haahahaha

*has full view of covered breasts* ‘he is definitely a boy!!!!’

i don’t know what sexuality politics this is - probably very bad ones - if you’re a straight man then you’re attracted to some fundamental femaleness in women!! or something

why is a bite mark evidence

god - these powerful people have enormous egos. they must, it is bred in them.i deserve power and when it is taken from me it sucks so much i can’t breathe!!! well uh yeah - everybody feels that way you ain’t special

she looks so sick

feels empathy for the first time ever. what a wonderful fantasy. that somebody could teach a prince empathy

*goes into town completely uncovered in royal robes which haven’t been weathered at all* ok

‘why did you hide you are a woman?’ what COMPLETE AND UTTER MALE NONSENSE

WOMEN ARE GETTING DRAGGED OFF TO BE SEX SLAVES AND YOU ASK THAT??? ‘sure, im sure you had your reasons’

WHAT FUCKING IDIOT

53:50

so she gets him in and then he betrays her? lol. but does it really matter? the king won’t be tried, there’s no reason for goryeo to be annexed. seung nyang won’t die. etc. he might as well go back to his deadly golden cage without endangering himself.

is it for her dad that she asks this of him? he faints, eh that’s a fine way out.

cant she hug a king back when he hugs her????? come ON

he almost killed his fucking son. these people are so CRAAAYYYZY

*leaves the people most likely to turn on him behind with the prince*

why does he have to reveal this?? what are the stakes here??”

goryeo’s soldiers???????????? what the fuck. i thought he was gonna come up with something clever like - pirates or something. not just ‘oh it was a random weirdo band of soldiers’ no -  ‘under the orders of the king’

WHAT. hes throwing teh whole country to the wolves. if seung nyang doesn’t kill him ill be surprised. seung nyang better get him for this for a thousand fucking years.

so he’s even personally betraying seung nyang. for a tiny chance at power. damn. wow. damn wow.

jezus what a fucking way to leave your daughter! making your last exchange putting yourself down as a father. DUDE. could have ended shit in a better way!

anyway literally cried twice about her losing her dad already

anyway so they both die in her arms. great.

yeaaaaaaah swearing to kill him. good. too bad it’s gonna be like 50 eps of palace maid shit and the prince barely got a taste of poverty

really wonder how traumatising this whole - is revealed as a woman and transferred to the empire as a sex slave thing is going to be - for me i mean

‘he’s probably living well in his homeland’  - how could you trust that your orders will be followed???

this is completely unrealistic wow

doesnt she get a fucking horse

who the fuck was park bhu - the undercop?

oh apparently laughing ugly is an indication of evil for a woman. laughing maniacally is an indication of evil for a man

her archnemesis is gonna unmask her as a woman in public? i think i might have to quit this show at this exact moment.

aaand.....guess ill have to quit.

ok that wasn’t so bad

how did they have women’s silks and makeup with them

she’s literally a martial artist warrior and she can’t fight a rapist attacker with her hands free?

oh god. she’s gonna be all feminine now bc she looks like a girl. oh god. i feel kinda sick.

SHE SUDDENLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY BANGS ANYMORE BUT LONG HAIR

THAT COMB WAS MAGICAL

some classic ‘female body weak’ sexism. love getting that from the beau

i know they’re trying to make danashiri seem unsympathetic but she’s saying fuck you to sexism here. then again it’s because she’s a spoiled elite brat

they really are made for each other

holy shit. this series just goes on and on and on and on and on. i can’t do this.