#but she so obviously sees me as a girl and that makes me majorly uncomfortable on top of everything else

[spaghett-onaplate]

.

[elvenbeard]

💔🏩💘 for Vince!!

Eeeeef!! Thanks so much for asking :D

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

You know, that is a very good question that really got me thinking cause... he had a handful of serious relationships, but few really ended in heartbreak in the sense that the end came unexpected or wasn't for the better. It still hurt, obviously, sometimes more sometimes less. I think his first real, painful, and unexpected heartbreak was in his teens probably, him still trying to figure out who he is and what he even wants... and someone rejecting him for just that, who he is or was at the time. Probably was a classmate or someone, he didn't have that many friends to begin with. I think it would have really hurt him, but after he recovered, in the long run, probably also majorly fueled his spite and refusal to pretend to be someone else just to appeal to others. (Doesn't mean he never pretends to be someone else to get what he wants, but that's another story!)

🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?

Awful xD The first and only time he ever was with a girl. He was 15, still identified as a cis girl at the time (had been questioning his gender and sexuality for a while already though). After a very awkward and uncomfortable makeout session with said girl he was finally 100% sure "yup, I'm not into girls... and definitely not cis either."

She was rather understanding though. They shook hands and went separate ways afterwards, figuratively speaking.

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

Since he's often out and about, generally very busy and/or comes home late, it can happen that he doesn't see his loved ones for a few days in a row at all. He's therefore very mindful to at least call them daily, and when he randomly thinks of them he'll text them saying so, asks about their day, what they're doing at the moment, and so on.

Given his often kinda hectic and unpredictable life, quality time is even more important, and for him it's a way to shut everything and everyone else out, especially work. Admittedly he struggled a bit with it initially, but he'll make sure to turn his phone off and keep quality-time dates free of appointments and similar interruptions.

He also doesn't mind doing all the often tedious household tasks, and he knows for a fact that Kerry does (and also struggles with depression still, so on some days he simply doesn't have the energy to really get anything done). Taking care of all those things, doing dishes, tidying up, folding laundry, etc. is definitely a way to say "I love you" to Kerry in particular when he's going through a rough patch.

[blueslight]

Sigh . So one of my friends is incredibly clingy and physical with me right. And if you remember, a few months back we dated for a little bit and I broke up with her BECAUSE she was so unbearably clingy. But like. Shes still fuckin doing it !!! And at this point ive expressed SEVERAL times the stuff i donr want her doing and my general annoyance and uncomfortableness (however you say it) with the way she treats me AND SHE JUST WONT FUCKING STOP !!! And like today i was thinking like if she was a guy and i was a girl thatd be majorly fuckrd up right??? But cause im a guy and shes a girl, instead i feel like a dismissve asshole when her CONSTANT attention/toucbing/noises et fucking cetera makes me shut down and be rude or even just tell her to stop. And like. Idk man i just need to fucking talk abt it w someone like bro im at the end of.my fucking wits like its at a point where i literally GROWL at her when she touches me sometimes AND IT JUST DOESNT SEEM.TO CLICK FOR HER . And likr.goddddd idk man i really like her apart from this stuff but i just cannot fucking stand it anymore how can someone tell you to stop and signalize that he doesnt want you to do what youre doing and literally GROWL at you which like people who know me will know that only rly happens if im like genuinely overstimulated and not abke to mask at ALL yk and like how can you see all that AND STILL NOT FUCKING STOP !!!!!!!! And atp shes one of my only irls im still close to , the other one being my other best friend so like i cant even talk to anyone about it cuz obviously im not gonna talk about her behind her back witb out mutual close friend but like GODDDDDD im at my fucking worst every single break in school cause the minute she starts touching me or pulling her other bs my mood drops to the fuckijg floor and i have zero patience for anything and i bet everyone else thinks im such a fucking dick BUT LIKE I JUST HONEST TO.GOD CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE THIS SHIT ANYMORE mannnn

[nightwishesworld]

Life of Death

You’re gonna need tissues for this one folks! A huge thank you to @addictedtodinosaurs for allowing me to write this wonderful headcannon! Hope you guys enjoy!

Warning: Angst. Whole lot of angst 

It hasn’t even been a day since Alcina’s world collapsed. Ethan Winters managed to flee Castle Dimitrescu with his life and topple the hierarchy Mother Miranda worked so hard to achieve. Everyone is gone; Angie, Moreau's house, Mother Miranda, even her baby brother Karl. They never stood a chance after the fall of the great Mother Miranda. Without her protection, they were left helpless. Of course, Ethan only saw them all as monsters; filthy bloodthirsty creatures that needed to be slain. That’s all anyone ever saw them as. They’re different so that must mean they’re wrong. They’re abnormally different from anything I’d ever seen so that automatically means they’re evil.

But they’re still a family. Lucky for Alcina, she never let herself depend on anyone other than herself. Well, except for her daughters.

She was wandering around the ruins of the castle in search of them. They were nowhere to be found since Ethan escaped. It was a grueling task but obviously, one that needed to be done. They need their mother’s tender love and care to nurse them back to health.

Cassandra was the first to be found. Naturally, she was found within the comfort of her basement. Where else would that silly girl be hiding? Just like Daniela, her bleeding seemed to have majorly stopped on its own. So all that was left for Alcina to do was bathe her and bandage her wounds. Alcina carried her upstairs to her bedroom slowly and carefully to not make her feel any sicker to her stomach. From there she bathed her and wrapped whatever wounds she had in delicate cloth before putting her to rest in her bed. Alcina tousled her wet hair before leaving in search of the rest of her brood.

Daniela was the easiest to find. She was left lying face down in the parlor soaked in a pool of her own blood. Her body was riddled with bullet holes to the point where her abdomen resembled Swiss Cheese. Alcina was quick to scoop her up and bring her upstairs to tend to her wounds. Until she got Daniela in the bath she used the ends of her dress to put pressure on her abdomen. Just like Cassandra, her bleeding seemed to have majorly stopped on its own. So all that was left for Alcina to do was bathe her and bandage her wounds.

Picking each individual bullet out of her body was an uphill battle, but Alcina was the eventual victor. Even better, she managed to not disturb her youngest’s slumber as she patched her up. Daniela was now free to rest as much as she needed in the sanctuary of her mother’s bed.

“What a mess we’re left with, hm? Don’t you worry about a thing my little Tasmanian Devil, Mother’s here now. I’ll protect you.”

The girls remained motionless as Alcina tucked Daniela in next to her sister.

Alcina watched as her little bundles of joy rested comfortably under the warm blankets and plush pillows. They look so sweet and at peace. It was rare for the matriarch to see them like this, but it always brought a smile to her face.

“You just rest now, my lovelies. I’m going to go find your sister so she can rest easy as well.” Alcina bends down and kisses each daughter on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

It took a few hours of searching to find her eldest daughter. Doing countless laps around the castle finally brought Alcina to explore the labyrinth of hidden passageways. There were a few times when said passageways brought her right back up to her bedroom. She wasn’t complaining too much though. Every time it happened she simply checked on her girls and reminded them how much she loves them.

Bela was by far the hardest to find. The sounds of scurrying behind a row of bookcases alerted Alcina to her presence. Following a single passageway eventually led Alcina to find the blonde buried from the chest down in rubble. The tunnel had collapsed from then on.

Alcina made quick work of removing the rock and rubble from her daughter's body. Rats fled back into their holes as she did so. The eldest Dimitrescu never moved even an inch. It took a while, but Alcina did manage to get her out in one piece. She whispered promises of a warm bath and offered to deep clean the dirt and dust out of her hair.

Bela couldn’t respond but Alcina knew she heard her. She could still sense her. She could sense all of them. They’re just weak, that’s all. They need as much rest as they can get.

It’s late evening by the time all three girls are bathed and tucked into bed. They were dressed in clean clothes and had their bandages changed again before Alcina crawled carefully into bed with them. She made sure to be extra careful when nudging them out of the way so she was in the middle; Bela on one side and Cassandra and Daniela on the other. Her arms wrapped around them all snugly.

It reminds Alcina of all the times the girls would burst into her room when they were little during a thunderstorm. All four of them would cuddle up just like this under the covers and either sing to them or read them a story.

“Tomorrow is a new day, my loves. We will start anew and we’ll be stronger than ever. I hope you sleep peacefully.”

The next morning comes slowly for Alcina. It’s quiet for once as the girls aren’t awake to cause mischief. Aching in her back and arms keeps her from stretching out. She smiled when she feels the girls are still snuggled up close to her.

“Good morning my darlings,” she says with a yawn. “How are we feeling today?”

Alcina kisses each daughter on the cheek and chooses not to notice how much more pale they were this morning. And certainly doesn’t recognize how stiff they were. She simply chalks it up to sleeping uncomfortably. After all, even she woke up with an aching back. Her arms wrapped around them must have really bothered them.

“It’s alright, girls. Take all the time you need to recover. You’ve been through quite the ordeal and need as much rest as you can get. I understand that. Mommy will be waiting for you right here to wake up. I’ll be the first thing you see when you open your bleary little eyes.”

The family lounged for the better half of the morning. Alcina takes her time stroking the hair of each of her girls’ hair and whispers words of comfort to them. “You’re so brave, my loves. And so strong; stronger than Mommy could ever hope to be.”

She notices a rather putrid smell coming from Daniela. One not caused by uncleanliness or a rotten meal, but something else entirely. Her immediate response is to change her bandages again, but can’t help but notice how pale Daniela had become overnight. Her lips were turning a shade of blue and the rest of her skin looked sickly. So did Cassandra and Daniela. Perhaps this is worse than simply recovering from injuries? Maybe....maybe they really were-

Alcina shook her head. They’ll wake up. Of course, they’ll wake up! They just need to rest extra long before they can really start to recover. So what if they get worse before they get better? At the end of the day, all that matters is that they do wake up. Then it’s smooth sailing from there.

The silence is suffocating. She feels the chill in her blood, coldness bringing the synapses of her brain to a standstill. Part of it is a pain, but one Alcina can endure. One she has to endure; for the sake of her daughters.

While she waited, Alcina called for a maid, the only one left, to fetch some documents from her private study that needed her attention.

They didn’t actually need her attention, of course. With the demise of Mother Miranda, the document's importance was nullified. But Alcina Dimitrescu is not the type of person to just sit around and do nothing. Especially when there are so many important things to do.

As soon as the maid steps into the room she understands what’s happening. She went through something strikingly similar when she had her miscarriage some years ago. Reality is a cruel plane of existence. Especially when you lose someone you loved suffering it with. It’s plain to see that her mistress is grieving her losses and she doesn’t have the heart to break whatever fantasies Lady Dimitrescu has built-in her head.

Instead, she chooses to play along. Delusional or not this was still Lady Dimitrescu, the woman will kill her if she tells her anything other than what she wants to hear. She gives a kind smile and curtsy to her Mistress and simply dies as she’s asked.

“Shall I fetch you some wine, My Lady?”

Alcina thought about it for a moment. It has been over 24 hours since she last fed and she was certainly craving sustenance. But ultimately decides against it in favor of her daughters.

“No. Keep what we have left safe for when my daughters wake. They’ll need their strength more than I’ll need mine.”

The maid waits a minute before trying again. She looks over at the girls still laying in bed. It’s obvious they are no longer there. She could smell the evidence of that from across the room.

“Very well, Lady Dimitrescu. I could send up a platter of-“

“Enough,” Alcina shouts but quickly catches herself from continuing. The girls don’t need to be disturbed by such a trivial matter. “Go make yourself useful and clean my daughters’ rooms. They’ll want them spotless when they wake up.”

The maid simply bows her head. “Of course, my Lady. Please forgive me.”

The next two weeks went on like this before the maid had enough. She wanted to help her mistress, she truly did, but there was nothing left for her here anymore. The last scraps of human food were officially gone and there was no reason to trek down to the village and come all the way back when she could just as easily take up residence down there. It was a gut-wrenching decision but it had to be done. She tried her best for Lady Dimitrescu and that’s all that mattered.

She slipped away in the dead of night. Normally the Lady would have any escapees hunted down and dragged back up to the castle only to be thrown in the basement. But there was no one to do that anymore. Heisenberg and his pack of lycans had perished long ago, even before the Lady’s daughters, and the Lady was too drained of emotions to care. Too weak to chase after her.

Alcina’s daughters are her everything. Every day she lived for them. She lived because of them.

Alcina took great pride in her tall stature. She is the image of beauty and elegance. The only real flaw in her design is its role in hunting down prey. You’d have to be blind or stupid to not see her coming after you. Even with her much larger strides, she wouldn’t be able to keep up. And Alcina Dimitrescu does not run. Prey is not worth running for.

So she depends on her daughters to hunt for her. They’re much more suited for the job; so young, and clever, and agile. They are her cubs and her, their lioness, too old to keep up with the hunting party.

Alcina looks at her girls and sees them as they truly are; dead. Lifeless corpses. Their bodies are decaying and cold. She has been changing the bed sheets every morning to keep away the maggots but failed to stop all of them. The smell of death is noxious even with all the windows open because Bela said she wanted to feel the crisp winter breeze.

“My girls,” Alcina sobs. “What have I done to you?”

She collapses at their bedside and finally allows herself to break down.

But looking up at them she still feels them. She can still feel their arms wrap around her shoulders as she cries. The smell of paint is still on Cassandra’s cloak and Daniela was sitting on the floor right next to her. The short ends of red hair tickled Alcina’s cheek. If they were truly gone, how is it she can still feel Bela kiss the top of her head and wrap her arms around her neck in an embrace?

“I never should have done this. How can I be so selfish? I never should have turned you to suffer as I have.” A new wave of tears blurred her vision. “What kind of mother am I?”

She knows she doesn’t have long now. How can she bring herself to care? Everyone she ever cared about was already gone. What’s the point of trying to survive without her dearest family, especially when she’s so close to being reunited. Alcina wiggles her way back under the covers and pulls her daughters close once more. She’s crying in earnest now, happy that her pain is almost over. Even now she can see her daughters playing together, maybe even with Uncle Karl somewhere in the far off distance.

A smile spreads to Alcina’s lips as she closes her eyes and simply waits for her turn to join in on the fun.

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (2/?)

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Warning: Sexual assault, mention of an anxiety attack.

Word Count: 1641

It turns out you definitely can't do this. Working in retail sucks, majorly. Customers are so awful to you and other employees as well. You didn't make the products, you don't control the prices, then why should you listen to them rant about it all day?

This job was from 9 am to 4 pm, which reminded you a lot of your previous job. By the time you got home, you were exhausted mentally and physically. Your current schedule was eerily similar to your previous lifestyle, which left you with no time to work on your book.

You felt like you were stuck in an insufferable loop that you just can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try. You thought about Mr. Barnes a lot, too. If only you weren't so egoistic and been a little nicer, then maybe you could have had that job.

With each passing day, you were becoming desperate. The only reason why you didn't run to Mr. Barnes a week ago was your pride. A pride that would not let you bow down to that rude, egoistic asshole.

It's like the universe could hear your thoughts and the devil himself walked through the doors of the store. Fuck, he can't see you here. He's going to think you're some nut job who's chasing stupid dreams after having an excellent degree. At least that's what your parents think.

You were about to run and hide behind an aisle when the voice you knew too well called out for you.

"Hey, do you know where I could find-"

"You," He said, without an emotion. "What are you doing here?"

You pointed towards the badge with the name tag on your shirt and mouthed working.

"Why?"

"Why?" You pretended to think, "I don't know, I interviewed for this other job about a week ago, but the boss was an ass."

"You lied to me," he stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

"Gee, sorry, dad."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?" You questioned.

" Diverging a question with a joke," He answered with an unaffected tone like he was studying you and your reaction.

"You know who I am." he stated. It should have been a question, but both of you were aware of what he meant.

"A vampire?" You mocked. He didn't look like one though, but hey, neither did Edward nor Stefan. But God, those steel-blue eyes could drink you up and you wouldn't complain. Focus.

For the first time you saw an emotion on his face that wasn't unaffected or bored, he was confused. Of course, he was confused, you were referencing twilight to a mob boss (you think, you weren't sure, but that's all you could gather from all the articles you found about him online).

"I need that job," you confessed. " I know it's not very convincing, but I need you to trust me-"

He raised a brow at that and his lips turned into a smirk. God, you wished you could swipe off that smirk from his stupidly handsome face.

"But you don't trust me, " you stated dejectedly and started turning around. "You wanted something? "

In an instant, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks. You ignored the involuntary shudder that ran through you and immediately yanked your hand out of his grasp.

You turned around and were about to give him a piece of your mind about how he shouldn't just come to your place of work and touch you without consent. He clearly guessed your thoughts and cut in.

"Clint Barton, the manager, he will tell you everything you need to know about bartending and handling the customers."

Did he just hire you? What changed between this and your previous meeting with him?

And just like that, he left. There was a part of you that wanted to say fuck off I don't need your help, but you knew better, so you went to that club later that evening. You found the Manager, Clint. He told you he was expecting your arrival and that made you feel weird because Mr. Barnes was totally opposite the day you met.

Your new job required you to be at work from 8 pm to 3 am, which was ideal for you. You usually reach home and pass out till 4 in the morning and wake up around noon. This schedule gave you a lot of time to work on your book.

You ended up making friends with some other people that work there as well. Wanda was the smart, sarcastic one that you'd have died to have as a friend in high school. Pietro, her twin brother, was also nice, a bit fast and impatient, but he was nice to you. Peter looked very young, but he knew what he was doing and he'd help you out a lot. That kid had a lot of energy and adrenaline, which surprised you every time he'd be done with work way before you.

You didn't see Mr. Barnes frequently. You saw him one time entering the club, and you tried to give him a smile which he ignored and went straight to his office upstairs. And then you decided to ignore him as well. It wasn't like you to be petty, okay, maybe you were being petty, but in your defense, he started it.

You were finishing up cleaning the table and were about to call it a day when a man you didn't recognize, probably wasn't a regular, came in asking for a drink.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed." You told him politely.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

You wanted to refuse him again, but you stopped yourself when he came into your sight. He didn't look like the kind of man who'd take your no seriously. He looked just as intimidating as Mr. Barnes, even more, but Mr. Barnes knew his boundaries, whereas this man in front of you evidently didn't. You could tell this by the way his gaze was slowly taking your body in and stopping a little longer at your cleavage.

You wanted to cringe and curse yourself for choosing to wear a top like that in a place filled with drunk men. The smarter part of your brain told you that he can go fuck himself, and you shouldn't think about men when you dress up. Women are entitled to wear whatever they want to and fuck men and people who tell them otherwise.

Carefully, you made his drink and handed it to him. His hand lingered on yours while taking the glass from you, and you wanted to just throw the drink across his face. His gaze remained on your chest even when you fixed your top and coughed twice to call his behavior out.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, eyes still on your chest.

Is this guy for real? , you thought.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate and I think you should leave now because I have to call it a night." you rejected politely, raising your hand towards the door, hoping he'd leave.

He chuckled darkly, his stare still drinking in your body as if you were a piece of meat, and it made you very, very uncomfortable. He obviously wasn't taking no for an answer, and you had no clue what to do. You were the only person left, and you didn't even know who to ask for help.

"Come on, baby girl," he said, walking towards you and forcefully snaking his hands around your waist to settle on your hips. " Don't make this harder than it should be. "

"No!" you yelled, pushing him away and creating some distance between you.

"Hard way it is then," he decided, walking towards you and forcefully holding the hem of your shirt in his hands to remove it. You struggled, yelled, and pushed him off you again. He furiously lunged forward towards you and hit you hard across the face. "Fucking bitch."

"Rumlow!" a voice boomed from behind you, and you hated yourself for being in such a vulnerable state. As much as you tried not to, tears welled up in your eyes and you hated being the helpless damsel in distress.

"Get the fuck out of here." the familiar voice ordered.

"Chill, Barnes. We were just having a little fun," the man known as Rumlow reasoned nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not my fault if she wears clothes like this."

You were all about feminism and how women should be treated equally with respect despite their attire, but at that moment you hated yourself for choosing that deep-neck shirt this morning.

"I'm not going to chill while you sexually harass my employees, so get the fuck out of here," Mr. Barnes warned again.

You closed your eyes and hoped that maybe this was a shitty dream and you'd wake up in your bed and have an anxiety attack because of the nightmare. You hoped that maybe the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you, so you could just not think about this ever.

You heard two sets of footsteps faintly in the background, one dragging its way away from you and the other rushing towards you. Furthermore, you didn't have it in you to open your eyes and meet the ocean blue ones that you knew were waiting for you.

In your head, you had already taken up the blame. The verdict came out the moment his gaze landed on your chest that it was your fault that you wore this shirt. Of course, if you were thinking right, you would have realized that you were undoubtedly the victim here and Rumlow was an asshole who assaulted you, but in your helpless state, your mind decided you were at fault here.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams​

[iamahugegeeknicetomeetyou]

don’t get me wrong i love bi mako but stay with me, gay mako

him and bolin growing up on the streets of the earth kingdom and mako not having time to worry about romance at all

them coming to republic city and getting caught up in work and competition so that he doesn’t really think about it

until asami along comes asks him out and she’s pretty and funny and mako really likes her

so they started dating and mako likes her but something just feels off but considering it’s his first real relationship he just kinda shrugs it off and with the equalists and everything going on it isn’t a main concern

but then korra comes along and admits she has feelings for mako and he’s confused and has no idea what to feel and for who and kind of just stands there not knowing what to do because he really likes them both and doesn’t want to lose either of them

but then he starts dating korra but something still feels off and it’s unexplicable because he really cares about them both but he just feels like there’s something missing from their relationship

but then they break up and mako just thinks that he’ll pull a lin and repress all his emotions and be single forever

little does he know that pulling a lin also means being a secret homosexual but moving on

during book three romances really the least of his concern and he tries to focus more on work and then obviously the red Lotus becomes a major problem so romantic relationships are thoroughly pushed to the side

and afterwards team avatar kind of goes their separate ways so he continues to avoid romance focusing on his work

but then he has to work as wu’s body guard and he start seeing his friends again and it feels kind of like old times and bolin asks if he’s seeing any girls but he’s just kind of not caring about that anymore and it’s been a really really long time since he’s even found a girl attractive so he’s kind of just chilling being single and all

until one night sometime before wu’s Coronation they’re at some fancy party and obviously he’s there as wu’s bodyguard and someone tells a joke and wu just laughs but for the first time mako realises he’s actually really pretty

The way his eyes light up whenever he speaks and how he has soft crinkles around his eyes whenever he laughs or smiles and how he has soft pink cheeks and kissable lips and-

and then he just kinda freezes like “oh fuck”

and when he goes back to his room that night he just kind of lies on his bed staring up at the ceiling realising that all throughout his life he was completely oblivious to the attraction he felt towards men like this one friend he had while he was living in the Earth kingdom who would help him steal food every so often and could make him laugh so hard even if his joke was unbelievably unfunny

or how he would sometimes think about how attractive his rivals would be in pro-bending matches and realising how the reason his relationships with women always felt weird was because he wasn’t actually attracted to them

it was basically a slap on the face telling him he’s gay

but because he hasn’t really grown up around any queer people he just decides to pull a real lin and repress all of his feelings and just pretend to be a heterosexual male

and this is pretty effective until korra and asami come back from their holiday in the spirit world and end upconfessing that they’re actually in a relationship and mako realises that him liking men is actually okay and that his friends will still accept him for it

so he takes all the confidence he has and one evening while team avatar are out just eating dinner and catching up and he decides that this is a safe environment and there is no one better he could tell so he just tells them “i’m gay”

but he panics and starts rambling about how he only recently realised that he was and he is sorry if it makes things uncomfortable because he also knows that he did used to date two of them and that he didn’t mean to lead them on or heart them in anyway and he just completely gets verbal diarrhoea and spews out a bunch of nonsense that they only half understand

and at the end of it he’s kind of just sitting there awkwardly waiting for their response and they’re all sitting there silently and he’s starting to majorly regret his decision before they all just leap on him and give him a huge hug and tell him that it’s completely okay and they still love him

and mako slowly comes out to people around him and seeing how they’re also supportive makes and finally actually feel confident in himself and maybe over the next few months he begins to develop a romantic relationship with wu and all of his friends support him no matter what

anyways yeah I just thought about this concept and thought it be kind of cool yanno gay mako having to come to terms with his attraction and realising that it’s actually not a bad thing as his friends support him

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.23}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

This one hour turned out to be way longer than the previous ones together. Admittedly, Robin did enjoy the youthful silliness of her friends, but for the most part she could only listen and offer her ever-too-grown-up take on matters on the few occasions when she was asked for her opinion. It was fun though, a bit like spending time with younger siblings. Not that Robin knew much about that, and when she dared to voice the thought, Simon and Michael –who had grown up with two and three little siblings respectively– only laughed in her face. Oh well, just fun it was then, but perhaps not like siblings after all. Just a group of unlikely friends.

At the end of the given hour, Robin wished her little group a good rest of the night and told them to meet her in the entrance hall half an hour past midnight. Before either of the confused people could ask about her enigmatic and sudden statement, Snape came to her rescue just as planned. He didn't say a word when he held his hand out to her, and she didn't say a word in return when she took it and let him pull her up to her feet. It was all in the eyes, in the words that didn't need to be spoken to be understood. The last Robin heard of her friends while Snape led her off towards the dancefloor was Cas saying something along the lines of 'and that's how you ask a girl to dance!' to the rest of the group. She couldn't help but silently smirk to herself in agreement.

The dance that followed was as much a delight as the previous one had been, as every single one of their dances had been, and once it ended all too soon as ever, neither of them could bear to stop just yet. So they did what most couples did, they stayed, and they danced to the next three pieces of song the musicians gifted them with as well. It left Robin quite breathless, but smiling more widely than she probably ever had in public. Who cares… she was just 'that insane girl', after all. This was the last ball she would be here for, and perhaps also the last time she got to dance with Snape. Even though she very much hoped that the latter wasn't truly the case.

When they finally decided that it had been quite enough exercise for the moment, a decision majorly influenced by the change in musical tone from sophisticated to what Robin graciously called 'jolly', they made their way off the dancefloor with slightly heaving chests and in purest contentment. That was, until no other than Damion Morgan stepped into their way, as if he had sensed that Robin's night was going too well. And he obviously had every intention to change that now. Not only did his eyes rake up and down Robin's form with an almost hungry look, but with an equal amount of scarily sweet smiles plastered onto his lips as well.

"Go on now, don't be shy, darling. Just ask me out." He finally spoke up with one of his flashiest grins, and his eyes locked with Robin's as he got way too close to her for anyone's comfort.

"Alright. Would you be so kind to get out of my sight?" Robin returned an exaggeratedly sweet smile that was dripping with sarcasm, and she was only glad that, hidden away under the billowing sleeves or her dress, Snape was still holding onto her hand.

"Ah, always sporting such a sharp tongue and an even sharper mind... that's how you seduce me, dear." Morgan chuckled, a brightly ringing sound that gave Robin chills of the uncomfortable kind. How could the man be so ridiculously positive, clear as crystal and bright as the sun, while yet he was the scariest person she had ever known to exist?

"Your advances are shameful at best, Damion, if not outright pathetic." Snape replied in a condescending and cold drawl, and his words were more in line with Robin's thoughts than anything she could have worded herself.

Morgan's head snapped around, and he glared at Snape with sharp shards of ice in his eyes. "Oh, and you think you are doing so much better than that? Is that why she hasn't even noticed how badly you are pining for her?"

Now Snape's eyes narrowed at the man in front of them in an unspoken threat as well. "You haven't the slightest idea what you are speaking of."

"Actually I know very well what I'm speaking of, Severus." Morgan quipped in radiant imagined superiority. "As it is, I also happen to know that you are absolutely right in your assessment of the circumstances; you really are entirely out of your league."

Robin didn't waste time thinking about the lunatic's words of hostility and instead caught his attention by speaking up calmly and with the subtlest touch of mocking sweetness. "If we are so far below you, then perhaps we shouldn't bother you any longer with our lowliness. It must be quite painful for you to dwell in such poor company, and we wouldn't want to hurt you now, would we?"

With that, Robin simply turned to leave without waiting for an answer, and she didn't even have to pull Snape along with her, for he mirrored her movement precisely in an instant. They got exactly two steps further down the hall before Morgan caught Robin by her free arm once again. His grip, as ever, more demand than inquiry.

"Dance with me." He said, without smiles, without brightness, and certainly without room for refusal.

"No." Was what Robin replied nonetheless, and this finally brought a new smile to Morgan's lips, a different one. A smile that made Robin's blood freeze over.

"That wasn't a question, darling. Dance with me, or I will see to it that you won't live to deny me again."

Robin's guarded expression kept her jaw from dropping and her eyes from growing wide, but the sheer panic that spread inside her mind and body still must've found a way to the surface. Her eyes moved from Morgan to Snape, in a silent plea for him to do something, anything, but going by his own expression, it was either killing Morgan right on the spot or letting things unfold. Robin couldn't blame him for having a similar reaction as she had herself, there was little else to do about such a display of dramaticism and insanity.

Gulping down the lump in her throat, Robin let go of Snape's hand and took the one Morgan was offering instead, even though every single cell in her body screamed in protest. As ridiculous as the threat was, she didn't doubt Morgan anymore. The lengths to which he would go to see her suffer still lay in darkness ahead of her, and she was more than reasonably reluctant to shed any light onto them now. So she let the man lead her back to the dancefloor, much like last year, while she was still aware of and very much thankful for Snape's eyes lingering on her. He wouldn't let Morgan harm her if he could prevent it, she knew that. And Snape's serious concern worried her quite a bit more than the actual prospect of getting injured. But no time to think about it now. The music started, and Morgan swirled her through the room alongside the oblivious students, professors and guests.

"You are hurting me." She finally spoke up in a quiet hiss, when his fingers dug uncomfortably into the skin of her back even through the layers of thick black fabric.

"Did it ever occur to you that you are hurting me, too?" He sighed in return, as if speaking to a child reluctant to understand. "With all those edges and corners of your wild personality… You make it ridiculously hard for me to put my mark on you. Perhaps, a little pain shall be the way to tame you after all."

A mere second later, when he moved his hand across her back oh so subtly, a sharp pain, a stinging and burning followed in the wake of his fingers at once, and Robin gasped before biting her lip to refrain from crying out. How the actual hell had he done that?! The pain dimmed down quickly enough, and nobody was paying them much attention, so it can't have been anything too serious, right? Right?! Robin released a shivering breath, then glared up at her dance partner in utmost hostility.

"If you think you can break me like some fragile plaything, you are utterly mistaken." She hissed, but it only served to make the man above her smirk. Robin wanted to slap that expression off his face, but all she could do was glare at him even more threateningly. "I can see way beneath those smiles and charming words. When I look at you, I see nothing but a monster."

"When I look at you, I see a beautiful masquerade covering the hollow darkness of inevitable death. Because that's ultimately what you are, and what you are ever going to be. A broken creature of ash and dust, and a mirror of shattered vanity." His reply came quickly and in a striking factuality, a seriousness that was unlikely for him. It left Robin short of an adequate answer for a moment, while his words cut a little deeper than she would've liked. And yet, when he spoke on, his tone was filled with bitter amusement. "It's rather ironic, isn't it? To see you clinging so desperately onto the one man who is the very essence of brokenness. Tell me, are you trying to heal him or do you merely reap what is left in the ashes? I cannot tell from what I see. But I shouldn't be the one to judge... I too desire you despite your darkness."

"You are wrong. Again, as always." She huffed in spite. "I don't like him despite the way he is, but for that very reason. He might have been broken once, but he put his pieces back together in his own way, and that makes him more appealing than anyone who has never known the courage it takes to go on after you shatter. Or the strength it takes to be better than before."

"You really are quite pathetically in love, aren't you?" Morgan sighed, sounding condescending and indifferent in a way that made Robin wish she hadn't said anything at all. But this damned man just had a way of getting to her and making her speak against her better judgement. "Ironic that it had to be Severus you are so willing to suffer for. Say, would you die for him, little songbird? I bet you would, wouldn't you? As I said; Ironic."

"If I'm pathetic for loving, you are just loving to be pathetic. Ironic indeed." She scoffed, and he squeezed the hurting spot on her back in return, making her yelp under her breath. The sound made him smirk. Bloody bastard…

When the music came to an end and the people to a halt, Robin feared that Morgan would keep her right where she was for another dance. It was a bit after eleven at this point, and even if there was still some time until midnight, she was both exhausted and desperate to get away from the man who was keeping a strong hold of her even now that the dance had ended. But to her surprise, he started leading her off the dancefloor before she even had to voice a protest or question.

"I better return you to poor Severus before he gives in to the urge to murder me, huh? Merlin's beard, that man loves you more than is good for him." Morgan chuckled quietly, but Robin honestly didn't care for his words now as long as he left her alone as soon as possible. It didn't even matter that he had fallen victim to the same delusions as everyone else. So when Morgan finally released Robin from his grasp and even had the audacity to give her a little push towards Snape, there was no time for her wounded pride when she was just lucky to be escaping his presence in the first place. Only once Robin was safely tucked into Snape's side two seconds later, she finally felt like she could breathe again.

"Thank you for the dance, my dear. Your divine company is always my highest pleasure." Morgan gave Robin another of his signature smiles. "I'm looking forward to all that is yet to come." His words couldn't have been more enigmatic and unsettling, but at least he bowed slightly and then disappeared into the crowd. Just like last year.

Robin let out a long breath to regain her composure, then looked up at Snape right at her side. He was undoubtedly angry and concerned in equal measure, as always when it came to her interactions with Morgan, and thus she offered him a small smile of reassurance.

"I'm alright, don't worry. The idiot hurt my back, but it's less painful than any of the times he slammed me into a wall in class, so it's nothing new really. It's okay."

"I let him hurt you, it is not okay."

"Do we need to be having this conversation again?" Robin gave him a look that was both pleading and defeated. "There is nothing you could've done and we both know that. All we can do is to start looking more thoroughly into what his problem with me is after the break is over."

"You are most likely right about that. Obviously." Snape sighed, then placed a gentle hand on the small of her back with a questioning gaze down at her. "May I?"

"Certainly." The smile that came to her lips now was genuine, affectionate almost, and she didn't bother hiding it from him. They both could use some calm and comfort now. "Perhaps… we could get away from the crowds for a bit?"

"Certainly." He mirrored with a not-smirk, and Robin shook her head with a chuckle. He really had a way of cheering her up even in the worst of situations, and that was something nobody else had ever been able to do.

Without waiting for a better opportunity that wouldn't come anyway, they soon made their way through the hall while pushing through various groups of people who weren't accustomed to the unspoken rule that it was better to stay out of their way. Robin had never taken much notice of it before just now, actually, but she usually never had to squeeze through somewhere. People usually stepped out of her way quite willingly and let her pass without effort. The same way they did with Snape. In a way, now that people did stay standing in her path, she found herself equally amused and irritated by that fact. Perhaps being the insane girl everyone feared based on a reputation alone really wasn't all that bad after all.

They reached the entrance hall soon enough, and in an unspoken question and likewise answer, they decided against winter robes and for a heating charm instead. It wouldn't be toasty, that was for sure, but it could keep the cold away at least, even if that left the wind to live with. Now that the snow had been replaced by rain for the majority of the previous week, it wasn't as harsh outside as it had been half a month ago, and this they could very well feel when they stepped outside into the nightly courtyard side by side. With the charm wrapping around them, the temperature was almost truly comfortable here, but then again, there was no wind inside these walls, so that wasn't too much of a surprise.

It again went wordlessly that they sauntered through the arcades and to the other end of the open space, out into the night and away from the busyness of the castle at long last. Away from the people, away from Morgan. His words still sounded as a dull echo in Robin's mind, now that everything else was silent. Not all of his nonsense had lingered of course, just… that one thing he had said wouldn't stop nagging at her. What he saw when he looked at her. The hollow darkness of inevitable death. It probably was just his overly dramatic way of being hostile and threatening, but then again, perhaps what he saw was the same thing that made everyone else scared of her as well. And as all things inevitable, it drew closer and closer to the surface, where everyone could see. Maybe that's why her reputation had grown exponentially more sinister over the years… Maybe that's why Morgan's words threatened to suffocate her now. Because she really was just a hollow darkness to the people around her.

"Talk to me, Robin…" Snape's voice drew her out of her mind as it did so often these days. They were sauntering down the hill now, almost having reached the shore of the lake… and she hadn't even noticed. "You are getting lost again, and by the look on your face I can tell that it isn't a nice place you are vanishing into. Will you just tell me what is bothering you for once, or do I have to ask on?"

"It's… just something Morgan said." She sighed deeply, and tried for a half smile when she looked up at Snape. "I really should know better by now than to let him get to me like that every single time, huh?"

"He has a way of getting under people's skin regardless of how hard they try to resist. It happens to the best."

"To you?"

"Obviously."

Robin let out a small amused huff in reply, but then stopped in her saunter and turned to face Snape when he did the same. "Can I ask you something odd?"

"Don't you always?" The returned question was more encouragement than tease for once, and Robin honestly felt glad for that. 

She knew she had to ask, but in the end she would also need the courage to bear the answer as well. Taking a deep breath, she kept her eyes fixed on his and finally brought up the courage to speak the words that had been threatening to break past her lips anyway. "When you look at me... what do you see?"

"Everything." His reply came in such a calm sincerity, such genuine and complete certainty that Robin forgot how to breathe for a moment. She even forgot why she had asked in the first place, with an answer that told her so much more than the question demanded. A shiver of sheer and utter delight ran over her skin; she couldn't remember how to speak with words. So all the questions and answers of the world lay in her gaze alone. She wanted to be everything to him more than she had ever wanted anything else.

"Why do you ask?" Snape finally inquired, just as calmly as before, and the fact that his previous answer obviously was just another given to him almost made Robin laugh despite the newly arising hope. Perhaps she wasn't a token of death to everyone… to the one person that mattered she obviously was quite a bit more than that. And wasn't that by far enough?

"Morgan said that all he sees in me is a beautiful masquerade that covers the hollow darkness of inevitable death." She finally sighed with a shrug, then sauntered on towards the shore with Snape following right by her side. "But then again he also said that the sharp edges of my personality make it difficult for him to put his mark on me, so I guess I shouldn't try to find truth where there is only insanity."

"A wise decision I wholeheartedly support." He replied, just when they left the muddy path behind and crossed over onto the pebbled edge of the lake that lay in front of them as a black mirror now, reflecting only the blanket of stars above their heads. A beautiful sight that made Robin sigh as much as Snape's question that came a mere second later. "Was there anything else he said that might be disconcerting?"

"Just the usual things he keeps saying to me from time to time… How much he hates that I 'desperately cling onto you', for example. Or that you love me too much." She said before her brain had the time to fully process how stupid of a move that was. Maybe it was the hope gaining the upper hand again… but the idea that perhaps she could be everything to him indeed was burning her up from the inside now. Her hope had turned into a wildfire.

"Dumbledore really should have Morgan gagged, if he already refuses to dispose of him entirely." Snape grumbled under his breath, and Robin's heart fell a little. That wasn't the reaction she hadn't technically allowed herself to hope for but had hoped for nonetheless. Of course it would upset him to hear these accusations… what had she been expecting? Ridiculous.

"Oh, you'd have to gag quite a few more people than him if it's just about these remarks." She finally replied with a sad chuckle, then with a silent sigh. "Too many people have been insinuating things like that recently. You know… about you and me. Us."

"Ah." His voice dropped down an octave, and the deep frown on his falling features was suddenly accompanied by a tinge of rising bitterness in his tone, a shadow of sincere sadness in his eyes. Then it was all apathy again before the fleeting emotions could be grasped. "I can see why that thought would be repelling to you."

And for once, encouraged by the shadowy ghosts of expressions she had seen on his face, Robin let her heart speak instead of her mind. "Actually, it just makes me wish quite desperately that it was true."

______________________________

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[mrs-nate-humphrey]

aight aight, real shit; let's say you got the chance to rewrite the entirety of gossip girl exactly how you want. make a brief description of what would happen in each season. (you can decide whether there's a fourth season or not)

oh i LOVE this ask, and i am so flattered to be asked this, haha. i have SO many thoughts, i’ve been thinking about this non-stop, but i’ll try to be as brief as possible. also, disclaimer, i don’t remember all the seasons equally clearly. like i barely remember s2. haha, whoops.

season 1: i love this season as is, for the most part. i think the tone of it was actually very serious and involved? like the show was actively trying not to be frivolous with heavy topics, and the way we were getting to see the characters seemed like they were trying to bring out character depth and the complexities of their lives in very deliberate ways. nate’s whole thing with his parents gets so much focus, and it’s not something the show glorifies, it’s something that is meant to make you uncomfortable and worried for him. 

i would have nate be less of a dudebro, jenny & nate’s friendship being a little more solid, dan being a little more involved in jenny’s problems + helping her find her space, vanessa/nate to happen earlier - after nate breaks up w/ blair and realises she looks happier, i would have him not try and get back with her (lol, dude, the fact that she’s happy after breaking up with you means you probably shouldn’t be dating her.) more exploration of eric’s mental health. more dan and blair friendship. i would keep chair the way it is this season. i would not have a derena breakup - i’d have them take a break after the georgina reveal and get back together during the summer after talking about it and deciding to be more honest & open with each other. and, what the hell, i would have lily not blame serena (???) for being taken advantage of in the whole pete fairman situation. serena wasn’t sober, she was 16, that dude was in his 30s, georgina was taping her w/o her consent. how is any of this serena’s fault??? i hate lily’s reaction so much.

season 2: i... don’t remember enough of this season, sadly. it’s been too long since i watched it. i would majorly change jenny’s arc here, though. eleanor stealing her dress was majorly, majorly fucked up, and i think jenny should’ve done something then and there. also the whole thing with ‘lily is a mother to chuck’.... i would’ve loved it if lily had been like that to jenny. the girl needed it, and lily would’ve actually been able to help jenny establish connections in the professional world and whatnot. i think jenny should’ve transferred out of constance - not necessarily homeschooling maybe, but gone somewhere else. unlike dan, she didn’t even want to get into an ivy, she wanted to make it big as a designer. so. that. 

oh nate my love. i’d get this trainwreck of a boy some therapy. while i hate that the catherine thing happened, things like that do happen all the time, and i’d be interested in sort of handling the aftermath of it in a responsible way. i would not have... a lot of serena’s arc and decisions (from what i can remember) were really random in this season. i’d have her break up with dan at some point. and vanessa would need a new subject for her short film, and she’d choose serena.

nate doesn’t really date anyone, this season. but he and jenny open up to each other abt having gay crushes on people who treat you like shit - jenny’s thing with agnes - nate rescues her when they’re taking those pictures in her flat and let’s say she doesn’t go back to agnes. instead of kissing her, nate talks to her instead, and tells her about carter, tells her about chuck. and jenny talks about her feelings for blair, her feelings for agnes. and both of them sort of go... “it sucks, but all we can do is try not to become the kind of people we hate, right?”

dan pines for nate. majorly. massively. obviously. i think the only person who really notices is blair, and this would lead to new hijinks and shenanigans. also!! i do not want chair in s2. maybe it can go there for a bit but definitely not to the extent in canon. i want blair to have the same moment of being unable to deny her cruelty / needing to be accountable that she did in that ‘age of dissonance’ play. and. this sounds fucky but i want the dan/rachel stuff to stay as it is, and later, in s4, for dan & serena to talk about rachel & ben respectively and be like ‘hey, this was a fucked up thing to happen to us, wasn’t it?’ 

i would also like to get to know blair’s “minions” better as people. i mean. they all seemed hella fascinating to me, and the show’s decision to make them superficial and unidimensional was very depressing.

season 3: hot garbage, throw canon away. when chuck goes away to paris or wherever, let him not come back. goodbye, dude! dan, blair & vanessa friendship at nyu is so, so important to me. also im losing my mind always at how vanessa and serena catch dan on that walk of shame and they’re both like ‘college is a time for experimentation!’ and nobody does anything even slightly bisexual (unless you count that threesome later, which, blah.) a serenessa / date dynamic in college would’ve been great. dan transferring to columbia like blair does and rooming with nate and just, the gayness of it all. dan & blair become really, really close, and d&b&v watch movies + go to art exhibits together and are all SO DAMN PRETENTIOUS. serena finds it sexy, nate finds it terrifying. 

the william stuff would be interesting if he were actually held accountable. like that man has no right being a doctor, and medical malpractice needs to be brought up. and jenny’s whole arc this season makes me so sad. i think it would’ve been interesting if she’d been a ‘queen’ and ruled alongside eric, and just, the two of them forcing people to be nice, sort of like they try to do with people who are mean to nelly in s2 i think it is? but also.. jenny out of constance is very good, and i think i mentioned that earlier, haha, whoops.

season 4 : serenessa breakup, for whatever reason, probably to do with the william fuckery, because i think vanessa would react in similar ways to nate (”serena, i know he’s your dad, but we have to do the right thing” / “it still wasn’t your call to make” / “he’s a certified doctor, serena, a man like that has no right -” / “god vanessa, you really don’t get it, do you?” ). uhhh i would actually... if i had to choose i would honestly go blairnessa >>>>> dair. i love how blair & vanessa can keep each other on their toes and hold each other accountable. like? blair’s classist or racist and dan’s just like, *smiles*. vanessa would actively be like ‘hey, stop that.’ (this is one of the few actual criticisms i have about d/b as a relationship, RIP.) 

(edited to add: yeah, i think blairnessa WOULD be a sustainable relationship, more abt that here! )

yes to the milo arc, but dan gets to keep milo (his friends threaten georgina and go all ‘you made him sign the certificate. don’t make us take you to court’ because i love these morally grey assholes but also because g DID trick dan into thinking milo was his and dan was ready to reshape his whole life around that kid which is more than georgina was willing to do. plus endgame: jack/georgina are not parents i want milo to have.) i would also have more of a rufus & dan fallout over the milo thing. i think rufus would be really nasty about it all tbh.

the dair arc for blair and vanessa! let the juliet stuff happen, but let it be less awful + let it be seen as Bad + let serena get help & not forgive her for it. let serena NOT date ben after, what the hell. i want d&s to talk about their shared feelings for high school teachers and to realise, in retrospect, as adults, that what happened was crossing lines. let blair and vanessa suddenly drop dan and do the movies + galleries stuff on their own. and dan’s like ??? but he’s busy being a parent with nate supporting him. dan’s drama is very much parenting things. there would be some nonsense involving nate’s family pushing back, because ‘we stood by while you dated him, nate, we thought it was a phase. but raising a child with another man? this is unacceptable.’ i would like nate to get disowned by the family, and need to find his own feet. and to get a REAL SHOT AT HAPPINESS away from that terrible environment.

season 5: i want this to be a good serena season. let her find her calling doing creative things. let her and carter travel the world. let her just be whoever she wants to be. let her and vanessa patch their friendship up. let her have an open relationship with carter, let her have a lot of sex with a lot of random people and not feel guilty about it. let her really really blossom. i want more eric! maybe he’s in london with jenny, and she’s working on her fashion stuff, and he’s realising that he really wants to be a counsellor. 

some time-skips, maybe. i really want to see dan’s whole thing of being a parent. sending milo to kindergarten and spending the whole time milo’s gone on edge and anxious about everything that could go wrong, while nate comforts him. let nate try to get a job because he no longer has a trust fund, and navigate everything that comes with that. let vanessa be there for him. why the fuck am i phrasing my sentences like this - can you tell that i studied physics once?? oh well.

blair & vanessa handling a lot of things. vanessa meeting harold!! vanessa’s parents being disapproving of blair, but ruby standing up for her. blair & vanessa planning their future properly. blair & vanessa babysitting milo and talking about kids. 

and there can be drama too, there should always be drama. but i would like wholesome stuff at the centre of it too, you know? the ivy/lola nonsense can go on in the background, i don’t actually care that much. as long as ivy doesn’t go around fucking people’s fathers for no understandable or discernable reason, i don’t really care lkdhlfdkhg. (it was just so inexplicable and so random!)

season 6: uh, i don’t know. this was a bad season for everyone in canon, except chuck. i would throw it all away. i would actually love if we had pre-series rufly instead: every time those two bring up their past together i’m like 👀 because it sounds like a dream. or focus entirely on jenny and eric and their life. i am obsessed with jenny and eric being... sort of queerplatonic, sort of like, best friends. there’s no romance and no sex between them (eric’s canonically gay, and jenny’s a lesbian because i said so) but i think the way jenny and eric are is very, very life partners in a way that isn’t romantic OR sexual. so they’d have a little place together and would support each other. and just. what are they up to now? also. kati, iz, penelope, hazel, nelly... what r they doing now? one of the few things i actually liked about s6 as it was was that nelly was that reporter and that she’d found her people in yale. nelly yuki getting a happy and fulfilling ending and being a successful woman was so good and we actually got a little bit of that. i’d like more of that, for the rest of the girls, you know?

[dnvrsmedia]

You Feel Safe?

Carol Danvers x reader

summary: You and Carol are sent on a mission together for the first time.

warnings: none! good ole fluff! mutual pinning & my fav troupe the “only one bed” :)

AN: IM BACK! I am SO sorry i’ve been gone for like 2 weeks, but I had the WORST writers block omg! Hopefully this gets me back in the time of everything & I hope y’all enjoy! as always requests are open!

part 2

You were called to be on a mission yesterday. If it were any other day you wouldn’t have minded so much, but it was supposed to be your first weekend off in almost a month. You could almost taste the short lived freedom as you stepped into your room that friday evening, but of course, the world had other plans for you. The literal moment you set your bags down,friday informs you that steve needs you in the debrief room.

Obviously pissed off that you were robbed of your planned relaxing weekend, you trot to the debrief room with heavy steps and a frown. You’re known as the cheerful one around the compound. You’re always worried about others safety and health. So, when you passed Nat on the way to meet Steve without saying hello, she immediately knew something was off. Not wanting to interrupt you, she shrugs it off and makes sure to make a mental note to ask you what’s wrong later on.

You finally reach the debrief room and see a familiar tall blonde talking to Steve. You’ve only met Carol about two times, but you wouldn’t really call that a formal meeting. The two of you were too busy trying to save the world from thanos to really indulge in a conversation. But that doesn’t matter right now.

“Stevie, you know I love you, but why the ever loving fuck are you calling me on my weekend off. You know I haven’t gotten one in a while!” You exclaim as you go in to hug him. Steve has also been away on a mission for a while, so you haven’t seen your older brother figure in a while.

He gives out a hardy chuckle and gives you a tight squeeze before letting go. “I know y/n and I feel horrible doing so, but you’re the only gal for the job. Plus, you haven’t properly met Captain Danvers over here yet!” He points to Carol as she sticks out her hand to shake.

“Please, call me Carol.” She winks. You shake her hand as your face burns bright red. God y/n keep it together! You can’t help but to stare at her beautiful being. Everything about her is absolutely gorgeous and you can’t seem to get enough. Your eyes trail down to her strong biceps. All all you can think about is how much you wouldn’t mind if she put you in a choke hold i mean-

Steve clears his throat and asks you if you heard a word he just said. Now you start to blush profusely. She had to notice you staring, because she’s sporting a wicked smirk on her face.

“S-sorry I got a little uh...distracted.” You clear your throat. You notice Steve rolling his eyes and continues to debrief the mission. The both of you were to go undercover as girlfriends to a ball. This wasn’t any ordinary ball though. At the ball, there is an underground auction on alien tech. The reason you were picked and not Nat is because you can turn invisible. Once invisible, you were to sneak into the auction and take back that very valuable piece of tech. Carol is tagging along because of her extensive knowledge on alien tech. This mission was clearly meant for the two of you.

Soon after, you were dismissed to your quarters and packing for the three day long mission in Tuscany, Italy. Luckily for you since you don’t own many dresses, Nat popped by to let you borrow a few. She originally came by to see why you were so upset, but as soon as she saw you packing your bags she already knew.

“So, are you excited to play girlfriend with miss twinkle hands? Last time you two met you could barely take your eyes off oh her.” She slyly smirks as she folds your shirt. You immediately scoff as your face starts to heat up.

“I was just making sure she didn’t die! I do that every time with everyone when we’re saving the world!” You squeak. Nat could definitely tell that you were lying. I mean come on, she’s a highly skilled spy. She just mutters a ‘yeah sure’ and rolls her eyes. You shoo her away so you could ‘get your beauty sleep’ before you leave for the mission. Moments after you finally get settled in bed, you hear a knock at your door. Too tired to get up, you ask friday to let whoever is at the door in. Soon later, you’re eye to eye with Carol herself.

“Oh were you about to sleep? I’m sorry I can go if you want.” She shyly smiles and starts to walk away. You’ve never seen Carol like this before, and you wish you could see more of her.

“No,” you sit up and pat the space next to you on the bed. “It’s okay I promise. Come sit.” You gently smile. Soon after your smile is taken over by a big yawn. You hear Carol chuckle and sit next to you.

“You sure you aren’t gonna fall alseep on me, y/n?” She teased.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You lazily smiled. “Now, why did you want to see me?” you questioned.

“I just uh wanted to get to know you better. I mean if you’re gonna be my girlfriend, then I should actually know you, right?” she answered. You blushed majorly at her calling you her girlfriend. Yes, you know it’s only for the mission, but you can’t help but feel giddy.

“Well, what do you want to know? I’m an open book.” you replied while looking into her eyes. You could get lost in her perfect chestnut eyes. You can tell that she is a strong and loving person, but she also has been hurt. You wish you could take her pain away, but sadly that’s not how it always works.

From then on, the two of you spent your last hours before the flight to Tuscany talking about anything and everything. You told her things you don’t even think you’ve told Nat or Steve yet. Just something about Carol makes you want to pour your deepest darkest feelings and thoughts out. She’s just so welcoming and warm. You do end up falling asleep due to the day of hard work you endured. Carol soon notices and covers you in your blanket before leaving. The two of you have about four hours before the flight and she still hadn’t packed. She leaves your room with the widest smile on her face.

You wake up two hours later to your alarm. You always set your alarms according to, so you don’t get behind schedule. Before missions, you like to get a light workout and combat in. You groggily get up from your bed and change into your workout clothes.

You get down to the gym and immediately notice Carol at the punching bag. She was wearing a black sports bra with matching athletic leggings and hair was in a pony tail. You are completely in awe. Of course you’ve seen her fight before, but that was in a life or death matter. You didn’t have time to gawk at the way her back muscles contracted every time she moves. Or hear the little grunts she huffs out as her fist collides with the punching bag.

She must’ve felt someone staring at her, because she turns around in the middle of punching the bag and smirks. Your face seems to permanently be red because of her, but you couldn’t really complain could you?

You shake your head and get straight into your workout routine. You turn on your favorite playlist and get straight to work. You get in light stretching before you do your 2 miles on the treadmill. You hit the weights right after. Throughout your whole workout, the both of you share stole glances. You catch her looking at your ass through the mirror as you back squat and chuckle. You’re just about to bench press as she walks up to your station.

“Here, lemme spot you. I don’t need the bar falling on your pretty face.” She smirks and steps behind the you.

“How nice of you, Captain. You know, I’m a lot stronger than I look. Trust me, I’m a big girl.” Now it’s your time to watch as her face gets red.

“Oh trust me I know. You can never be too cautious.” She winks and you playfully roll your eyes.

About an hour after, you finally finish your work out. You thank Carol once again and go on your way to your room to take a quick shower before meeting her at the quinjet. You say bye to your fellow avengers (well who’s not on a mission), and go on your marry way to Tuscany. The both of you arrive in Tuscany at 8pm. You were visibly tired, so you couldn’t wait to eat something and curl up in your own bed.

Carol helps you with you bag, although you said you can cary it, and takes the both of you to the room. The view from the room is astounding. Your eyes pan all over the room, then you see it. To your surprise, there is only one bed and a very uncomfortable looking couch. You can tell Carol notices as well as she starts to put her things by the couch.

“You can take the bed, trust me I don’t mind.” She smiles her adorable smile.

“Are you kidding me? We’re both adults here, Captain. We can share the bed and I’m not letting you say no! That couch looks so uncomfortable!” You rant as you move your things over to the bed. “Now, what do you want for dinner?” You turn your head to see he smiling at you.

The pair of you decided on some authentic Italian food for take out. So here you are, currently eating fancy Italian food with a beautiful girl in romantic Italy. Seriously what could get better than this. You guys talk for hours until it’s time to go to bed.

You’re the first one to freshen up in the bathroom before bed. You step out in only your towel, and Carols face heats up so quick.

“I-I’ll just go uh go in there uh I uh- yeah.” She mutters out as she grabs her things and rushes herself into the bathroom. You laugh to yourself then get dressed. You snuggle up in the bed with one of your books and start reading. You finish a chapter when you hear Carol get out the bathroom. You’ve never seen her look so casual before. You can’t help but smile at her Captain america pj pants.

“Steve gave em to me as a gag gift for my birthday last year.” she chuckled and gets into bed with you.

You put your book down and turn on the TV to entertain the two of you. The TV was nearly there for background noise, since you weren’t paying attention at all. You say there thinking about how happy you’ve felt around Carol for the past two days, and hoped she felt the same. A loud lawn broke your trace. You realized it’s getting late, so you turned off the TV and got comfy in the bed.

“Sleep well, Y/n.” You hear Carol say as you’re about to drift into sleep.

“Goodnight, Carol.” You day softly as you nod off into the dream state.

beep! beep! beep!

Your overly loud, yet useful, alarm wakes you up. You go to reach to turn it off but you can’t reach it. You look down and see a sleeping Carol lying on top of you. Her arm is wrapped around your waist as hair is strewn across her face. You smile down at her and admire how soft she looks. You take your free hand and move her fly aways from her face. She stirs awake and looks into your eyes. She throws herself back and starts to apologize profusely.

“Hey, hey, look it’s okay I uh actually enjoyed it. If we’re being honest I haven’t slept that well in a long time.” You blush as you look down at your hands. Carol soon takes your hands and gently caresses them with her own.

“I haven’t slept that well in a while either actually. I normally get nightmares, but with you...” She whispers.

“You feel safe?” You ask as she nods her head with a smile. “That’s exactly how I feel too.” You beam.

Carol scoots closer to you and places her palm on your cheek. You heart begins to race as she slowly inches forward to kiss you. Just as your lips are about to touch, your alarm blares once more and the two of you bump heads.

“I should probably turn that off.” You groan.

“Yeah,” She chuckles “You should.”

[tarontherocketman]

Mr Madden | Madderton Teacher AU | Chapter 2

The sun seeped through the curtains in Richard’s minimalistic decorated bedroom as he stirred awake, willing himself to get up and get ready for his second day as a teacher. The butterflies started to kick in as he fully woke up, partly from the job still being new and scary, and partly from the knowledge that he was going out with Taron that night. Rich forced himself up and out of bed, making his way to the kitchen to shovel cereal into his mouth, then to the bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen up for the day. After getting dressed and taking one last look in the mirror, deciding his appearance was acceptable, he slung his backpack over one shoulder and made the commute to work, heading straight to the staff room to make a coffee to take to his classroom and drink while he prepared for the day. Not one minute after sitting as his desk there was a soft knock at the door, followed by it opening slightly and Taron’s head poking through the opening.

“Good morning, Mr Madden,” he chirped, pushing the door fully open and sauntering over to Rich, seemingly harbouring a confidence that he didn’t have yesterday, as if sharing messages with a kiss at the end the previous night had established a new, less professional comfort zone between the pair.

“Why good morning, Mr Egerton,” Rich mocked in return, an eyebrow raised. Taron laughed softly as he pulled up a chair next to the Scotsman.

“How’s the lesson planning going?” he asked kindly as he leaned in to see Rich’s computer, who turned the monitor around a bit for Taron to see.

“Well, it’s…going,” Rich sighed, not sounding at all confident.

“It’ll get easier trust me, you’ll start to learn what your students do and don’t like, what they respond well to, stuff like that,” Taron advised. Rich nodded along in understanding, reviewing his presentation, trying to visualise it as if he was a student rather than a teacher, now backspacing and retyping phrases where he suddenly wasn’t happy with the wording.

“Any more advice?” he asked Taron, who leaned towards the computer screen more, brushing shoulders with Rich as he did. Rich’s breathing halted briefly at the contact, knowing full well this was because it had been far too long since anyone had touched him further than a quick handshake.

“Colour,” Taron stated bluntly, “it’s simple. These kids love colour, it catches their eye far more than a piece of black and white text. Also putting important information in some sort of bubble or cloud seems to grab their attention and make them remember it. Although I’m saying all this as a Drama teacher, I know History might be a bit harder to get kids interested in, no offence.”

“None taken, it’s genuinely a boring subject if it’s not your thing or it’s been taught to you by the wrong person, hell I found it majorly boring at school! I only got interested in it after leaving school and learning it my own way.”

“What made you get interested in it? You could apply that to your lessons,” Taron suggested. Richard paused for a few seconds to mull over his answer before speaking.

“I think...because the way it was taught to me in school made me think it was just remembering dates and learning about wars, because for some reason I swear that’s all we used to do, and then when I left school I had a friend that went on to do it in university and I discovered through him that it’s more than dates and wars, it’s about culture and society, how much things have changed and why they changed, it’s actually a wealth of knowledge about the whole world and what it means to be human. People also think it’s only about what happened in the past, but it’s not, it’s an insight about what might happen in the future based on what’s happened in the past!” Rich dripped with enthusiasm about his subject, Taron simply sat smiling brightly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise Rich that was amazing you NEED to open with that in class today, it will get the kids inspired!” Taron encouraged, nudging Rich happily who agreed and sincerely thanked Taron for his help, the school bell bringing their moment to an end.

“First class on my own,” Rich declared nervously.

“Good luck! I’ve got 2 free periods now,” Taron boasted, Rich laughed and rolled his eyes. 

“Ah it’s alright for some! Bloody part timers,” he scoffed jokingly. 

“Seriously though, Rich, you’ll do great, they’ll love you!” Taron patted him on the knee and got up from the chair he’d pulled up, putting it back where he found it on his way out, having to wait by the door anyway for a stampede of kids to flood into the classroom and find their seats.

“Good morning everyone,” Rich greeted his class in the most welcoming voice he could as they started to settle. Taron gave Rich a last thumbs up before disappearing out of the door, letting it close slowly behind him as it had one of those mechanisms that slowed it so it wouldn’t slam, or rather, kids couldn’t slam it in anger when they would storm out of a classroom. 

“So guys, I know you all think history’s boring, and you know what? So did I when I was in school!” Richard began his motivational speech, Taron peeked through the door one more time, smiling proudly at his friend. Rich’s voice became quieter and quieter as Taron began to walk down the hall and the door was still closing. 

“It’s more than that, it’s culture and society, how much has changed and why it changed,” he heard Richard say in the distance, nearly out of earshot now, feeling a warm sense of pride inside of him again.

___________________________________________________________________

The bell for lunch rang at last, which of course always caused a commotion of hungry, restless kids all clambering up from their seats to get to the canteen as quickly as possible as if it was going to run out of food or something.

“Alright I’ll see you lot again this time next week, just please try your best with the homework yeah?” Taron called out over the noise.

“Yes, Sir,” a multitude of students mumbled back as they filed out of the classroom. Taron turned to the whiteboard, erasing what he had written through the lesson which was mainly thought clouds about dramatic expression and such. As he turned back around from the board he was taken back by a student still sat at the back of the classroom staring out of the window. A generally slim but ever so slightly plump girl with long blonde hair, pulled back in to a simple high ponytail.

“Uh, you ok Ella?” he asked, walking over to the lone student.

“Yep,” she snapped, forcing a polite smile.

“Why are you still here? You not hungry?” Taron asked softly.

“Nope.”

“Is everything ok?” he asked cautiously. Ella just looked away even more, hiding her eyes that were beginning to well up. Taron noticed and tried to not to make a big deal of it and make her uncomfortable, knowing students don’t like the teachers that freak out and jump down their throat when they’re having an emotional moment.

“Did something happen, Lovely?” he asked gently, keeping his voice low and soft. Ella sat in silence, and Taron let her decide on her own whether she was going to say anything.

“They hate me,” she finally burst out.

“Who?”

“Everyone! The students, the teachers, everyone in this fucking hell hole,” she seethed. Taron ignored the swearing in this particular context and nodded sympathetically.

“I’m sure they don’t, especially not the teachers, I don’t hate you!” he said with a small smile.

“Well maybe not you, but only because you’re the first teacher to acknowledge my existence for something other than picking on me in class while ignoring all the students actually misbehaving. The students definitely hate me though, why else would they trip me up in the halls, throw pens at me in class, call me horrible names,” she said with a shaky voice.

“Aw I’m sorry, Darlin’. Teenagers can be horrible honestly, I remember what they used to say when I was in school, they don’t know when to stop with the vile comments. Most bullies grow out of it when they leave school, the others end up in prison,” Taron laughed before quickly adding, “that was a joke you don’t tell anyone I said that ok?” Ella let out a small laugh, nodding quickly. “As for the teachers, they’re just busy, they have a lot of students to keep an eye out for and it’s a very overwhelming job at times. Always having to figure out who did what, who said this, who said that, we have far too many students to look out for and none of us EVER mean to ignore you or pick on you I promise. Admittedly some of us are more attentive and intuitive than others, I like to think of me as one of those teachers..?” he half suggested.

“Yeah, you’re one of the good ones,” Ella confirmed.

“See! And what about the new History teacher, Mr Madden? Have you had any classes with him?”

“I have History with him next, after lunch,” Ella said.

“Great! Well he’s lovely so I promise you’ll have a good lesson with him. What about final period?”

“Free study period,” Ella replied. Taron shrugged in triumph. 

“There you go! The rest of the day’s agenda sounds pretty good to me,” Taron said as uplifting sounding as he could. Ella laughed quietly.

“Thanks, Sir. What about the rest of lunch break though?” she asked with a heavy heart. Taron thought for a moment.

“Stay here if you want,” he offered. Ella smiled happily, sitting back in her seat.

“As long as you don’t mind me over there working, you’re welcome to escape here any time you need.”

“Thank you, Sir!”

Taron made his way to his computer, sitting down and pulling his phone out first to message Rich quickly.

T: hey there’s gonna be a girl in your class after lunch called Ella be extra nice she’s having a hard time right now, don’t tell her I said anything tho obviously x

Rich: yeah no worries, everything ok?x

T: yeah all good, just got her in my classroom for lunch break, other kids being horrible x

Rich: ah poor girl x

Taron slid his phone back into his pocket, turning back to his computer to get some work done.

“So Ella, who’s your favourite actor?” Taron conversed while typing away.

___________________________________________________________________

The day finally came to an end, meaning Taron and Rich could both get home to get ready for their meet-up that evening. Taron settled on a white t-shirt with a navy denim jacket, black jeans, and white lace up shoes. Richard going for a similar style with black jeans, a navy jumper, a grey long coat jacket and black slightly smarter shoes.

Taron sat at the bar the two had agreed to meet at, sipping at one of the two mojitos he had bought for him and Rich.

“Hey, Taron!” Rich greeted as he approached the table by the window that Taron had nabbed, sitting opposite him.

“Hey! I remember you saying you liked mojitos!” Taron gestured to the drink.

“I do! Thanks T,” Rich said warmly as he tucked his chair in and sipped at his drink.

“How did your motivational History speech go?” Taron asked.

“Oh my god it worked SO well, the kids seemed really engaged after I did it, thanks for the help.”

“Yeah no problem, happy to help,” Taron said, looking into Rich’s piercing blue eyes until the pair got uncomfortable and looked away with a small laugh.

“So, uh,” Rich began, not sure where he was going with it.

“Yeah..” Taron trailed. Rich took a long sip of his drink for an alcohol confidence boost, knowing one glass wouldn’t be enough.

“Fancy another one? On me,” he offered, already standing up ready to go to the bar.

“Love one, thanks!”

Rich wondered to the bar to order two more mojitos, having a mental conversation, kicking himself for being so awkward. It was such a different setting to chatting at school in between lessons or messaging over facebook before bed, this was so raw and real, just the two of them in a nice bar with cocktails and a window seat with a view. It was almost romantic, and neither of them knew exactly what to do in this context or even where each other stood on the matter. Was this just two colleagues meeting for a catch up or something more? Was Taron gay? 

Rich walked back to the table with the drink, mentally telling himself to man up and talk to Taron like a person, instantly taking a long sip of his drink and a deep breath.

“So are dating at the moment? Is that something that you’re-” he blurted out, but stopping himself. Taron- relieved that Rich had broken the ice first- made a low ‘uhh’ sound.

“It’s complicated, I promised myself when I started the job at the school that I wouldn’t get involved in anything like that while I was there, I’m sure you know what students are like by now.”

“Oh yeah definitely,” Rich agreed, nodding. 

“Then of course you had to show up and-” Taron caught himself, realising what he just said. “Oh, I mean, I-”

“Wait are you also..” Rich began tentatively.

“Am I- am I what? Wait, are you?” Taron stumbled.

“Ok ok wait, on three, yeah?” Rich suggested, “one, two-”

“Gay,” the pair said in perfect unison, quickly both sighing with relief and laughing a little to themselves.

“I’m so glad we were on the same page there,” Taron laughed.

“Fuck, me too,” Rich laughed back, still practically catching his breath from relief.

“I did wonder, but you can never assume you know?” Taron admitted, resting his chin on his hand, starting to be able to relax now.

“Yeah of course,” Rich agreed, “so as you were saying, I showed up and-?” he teased.

“Hah, yes, just ignore that yeah?”

“No no, go on,” Rich waved his hand, gesturing Taron to elaborate.

“Ok fine. I met you that day in the staff room and thought ‘oh shit this guy is gonna ruin my vow to not get attracted to another teacher’ and, he did,” Taron admitted, making Rich chuckle in reply to this.

“Oh did I now?” Rich asked suggestively, leaning in over the table closer to Taron, who mimicked this, now looking into Rich’s blue eyes again.

“You did,” he smirked, the two not breaking eye contact. Leaning in again towards each other, getting closer every few seconds, before Taron broke away, leaning back.

“Anyway,” he said as he cleared his throat awkwardly. “God I only met you two days ago,” he laughed nervously. Rich pursed his lips and thought for a moment about his next words. 

“And what an amazing two days it’s been,” he said confidently.

“Indeed it has,” Taron smiled, lifting his glass to cheers with Richard. The full moon now shining right behind them as the night grew later and later.

___________________________________________

Ta-daaaaa, I hope you guys liked it! I said it would be longer this time! So Ella is sort of a side plot I’m throwing in because I wanted to base a character on me and my time in school, I didn’t have any teachers supporting me at my side when I was badly bullied so I suppose I’m maybe sort of living out this fantasy through this fic seeing as I’m still ever so slightly salty about school in general bUT ANYWAY. Hope you enjoyed <3 

Tag list: @taron-eggmcmuffin @coffeetalkbaby

[violent-bulldog]

Protection Or Suffocation?

An argument gets out of hand and Jane does something that she instantly regrets...

Anne appreciated Jane. She appreciated the way Jane mothered her, how she truly cared about the young girl. Anne often found herself referring to Jane as "Mum" much like Kat did. But sometimes, Jane was just a little bit overbearing.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Yes"

"Have you showered in the last two days?"

"Yes"

"Have you been drinking enough water?"

"Yes"

"Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Yes!"

Anne did know how to take care of herself. She didn't need Jane constantly breathing down her neck and making sure that she was okay. It was nice at first, but this was daily.

It was the queens day off, so Anne and Kat were, naturally, ecstatic. The youngest queens always had so much energy that Aragon often claimed that they stole most of hers. They were planning to go out to the park and play on the swings until they couldn't feel their legs anymore. But, naturally, Jane had to make sure that they were okay before they left.

"Have you got your phones?"

"Yes"

"And you know what time to be back by?"

"Yes"

"And you know to look both ways before crossing the road? It gets busy around this time"

Anne rolled her eyes. She was being treated like a little kid and she was getting sick of it.

"We know how to cross a road" She stated bluntly. Jane turned to face her, her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"I'm just making sure that you'll both be okay. You're practically my kids" She said back, her tone more serious than anyone liked to hear it. It caught the attention of the other queens, who all looked up from what they were doing.

"You don't need to treat us like infants though. Just because you never got to be a mum to-" Anne quickly cut herself off, shaking her head. Her gaze flickered down to the carpet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I swear-" She was cut off again, but not by words. There was a sharp sound that echoed around the room and Anne stumbled backwards, her hands rising to her cheek. Jane stared at her own hand in shock at what she had just done.

"Anne!"

"Jane!"

"Jane!"

"Jane!" The other queens all shouted in unison, Kat immediately going to her cousin's side. Anne stood in shock, her hands clutching her face. Kat saw the tears shining in her eyes and could hear her ragged breathing.

"Anne, come on. It's okay, just breathe with me, yeah?" She whispered, breathing slowly. Anne followed her little cousin's guide, slowly breathing. Once she lowered her hands from her cheek however, both girls flinched. There was a gash just underneath Anne's eye, which was already beginning to bruise, from where Jane's ring must have made contact. The small amount of blood was enough to make both the girls uncomfortable.

"C-Come on, Kitty. Let's go" Anne whispered, her voice breaking softly. Kat just nodded, following her cousin outside and slamming the front door, letting the remaining queens know that she was upset.

Jane sunk down into the couch, holding her head in her hands. She sighed deeply, trying to process what had just happened.

"What the hell was that?" Aragon snapped. Although she didn't show it as much, she was practically the cousins' second mother in this life-time.

"I don't- I don't know. I was just trying to take care of them and then Anne was going to mention... Edward, and I just snapped" Jane whispered, slowly looking up at the three women around her. Aragon looked angry, Cathy looked distressed and Anna looked uncomfortable.

"So, your immediate action was to slap Anne?" Cathy murmured, her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.

"I didn't mean to! It just... happened. I've never raised my hand to anyone" Jane tried to protest, but Aragon cut her off.

"You may never have raised your hand to anyone, but that doesn't mean that you haven't hurt them before. You've always favoured Kat over Anne, even though they're both the youngest among us. In the past, you played a key role in Anne's beheading and then, you were engaged to Henry the very next day and then married to him before the month even ended! You've been patronizing her for the last few months and treating her like she's a little kid. She's an adult, Jane. She can make her own choices and take care of herself. You had no right to lay a finger on her, especially after she immediately apologised for what she had nearly said" She ranted, pacing around the room. Cathy and Anna stayed silent, but it was obvious that they agreed. Jane just sighed again.

"I need to apologise to her when she comes home"

Katherine hated it when people fought. All she had wanted was a fun day at the park with her cousin. She knew that Jane could be a little bit too protective of the duo, but she didn't mind it too much. She was just happy that someone cared for her. But, she knew that Anne didn't like being restricted. Anne needed freedom to do whatever she wanted, otherwise, she wouldn't be like herself. She would be moody and quiet and Kat hated it when Anne was quiet. She needed her cousin's chaotic energy to break away from her own life and memories sometimes.

The duo were sat on the swings, swinging silently. Anne hadn't said a word since they had left the house, but Kat knew that she was still shaken up about what had happened. Once they had arrived at the park, Kat had hesitantly helped the cut under Anne's eye to stop bleeding. They both were majorly uncomfortable with blood because of their past, but neither of them wanted the cut to become infected, so they took deep breathes and got it over with. That led them to where they are now, slowly swinging on the swings.

"You know she didn't mean it, yeah?" Kat said softly. Anne turned her head to face her cousin. Kat winced at the sight of her eye, which was bruising quicker than she thought it would.

"You don't hit someone on accident" She muttered, stopping her swing. Kat stopped hers a moment later, glancing at her cousin.

"I mean, she's been really stressed lately. The shows are exhausting her and she struggled to sleep. She was gonna snap soon anyways, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time" Anne scoffed at Kat's words.

"Or maybe, I broke her. You all already know that I'm a lot to handle and I don't know why you bother. I'm obnoxious and loud and annoying and... a jerk. You all should hate me and I think I managed to get Jane to realise it. She snapped because she realised how shitty of a person I am" Anne ignored the tears slipping down her cheeks, only wincing slightly when they made contact with the fresh cut. Kat stood up and went to her cousin's side before carefully sitting in her lap. She weighed as much as a feather, so Anne just steadied her feet on the ground to support her little cousin. Kat wrapped her arms around Anne's shoulders.

"You're so dumb sometimes. You're not annoying or obnoxious or a jerk. You're confident and proud and supportive and caring. I remember when I fell during rehearsals and skint my knee, you were the first person by my side. You kept asking if I was okay and you made sure that I didn't see the blood while Cathy put a plaster over it. I remember when someone was sending Anna insults about her appearance, you started a live stream on Instagram and ranted about how beautiful she is and how the person who was sending her hate was obviously just insecure about how they looked, and then a couple hours later, that person sent an apology to Anna. I remember when someone in the streets said that you looked weird compared to the rest of us and you just said that being different is what makes us all perfect. You're amazing, Anne. And we all love you. So, so, so much more than you know" Kat said softly, playing with Anne's hair gently. Anne clung to Kat, sobbing quietly into her shoulder.

"I love you too, Kitkat" She murmured after she'd calmed down slightly. Kat smiled and pulled back from the embrace.

"Wanna go get ice cream? My treat?" Anne grinned at the offer, wiping the remaining tears from her face.

"You think I'd turn down free ice cream?"

It was late in the evening before the cousins came home. They would normally have been home before six, normally when dinner was ready, but today, they came home after eleven. All of the other queens had tried to call the duo multiple times, but all their calls were ignored. When they stumbled through the door, Cathy and Anna had to catch them so they didn't fall to the floor. The young duo immediately broke into fits of laughter.

"Are you- Are you both drunk?" Cathy asked, only getting more laughter in response. She glanced at Anna.

"Seems like it" She murmured, dragging Kat towards the couch. Cathy followed her, dragging Anne. The drunk girls landed in a heap on the couch, giggling at nothing in particular. Cathy sighed as she heard two sets of footsteps on the stairs.

"We heard the door slam open and laughing" Aragon said, stepping into the living room with Jane following behind her, only to spot the mess of girls on the couch.

"Hiya" Anne grinned up at her, before breaking into another fit of laughter with Kat. Aragon shot Jane a glare before turning back to the duo.

"Where were you two? You had us worried" She said, kneeling beside them.

"Annie was sad and saying bad things about herself, so we got ice cream. And then, we went to get drinks!" Kat grinned at the three queens she could see. She lifted her head to see Jane and her smile instantly fell. She flopped her head back so she didn't have to see the older woman.

"Bad things? What kind of bad things?" Cathy spoke up, glancing between the girls and Jane.

"How she must be a shitty person to make Jane snap at her. And how she didn't think we loved her, even though we doooo!" Kat said in a sing-song voice before breaking into giggles with Anne. Cathy heard Jane sniffle before her footsteps were heard as she returned to her room.

"Do one of you two want to try and deal with Jane and the other help me try and get these two to bed?" Aragon said while supporting Anne as she stood. The other two noticed the way the young girl swayed, even with support.

"I'll go deal with Jane" Anna said before heading to the stairs. Cathy helped Kat to stand and noticed the way that she swayed less than Anne did.

The trip up three flights of stairs with two drunk girls was much harder than it had to be, but eventually, the four queens were in Anne's bedroom. They knew that the cousins would normally share a bed because they were both constantly prone to nightmares of their past. Aragon sighed as she dropped Anne down on her bed.

"Are you two capable of getting changed by yourselves?" She asked. Kat shrugged before giggling again and Anne stared out her window in a daze.

"Guess that's a no" Cathy sighed before grabbing Kat again to help her. Aragon also sighed before helping Anne.

As Aragon was fixing Anne's shirt, she couldn't help but notice some fairly fresh scars on the young girl's forearms. She knew that they weren't from the girl's past and they were definitely self-inflicted. She sighed softly before leaving the room with Cathy when both girls were changed and laying in Anne's bed. Aragon noticed that Cathy seemed tense too.

"You alright?" She asked, startling the younger girl slightly.

"Yeah, it's just... Kat had scars on her arms. They didn't look recent, but I'm pretty sure that she did it to herself" Cathy said softly, her mind clearly wandering. Aragon turned to look at the now-closed door to Anne's room, biting her bottom lip.

"Anne had scars too, but they looked fresh. Not as in she did it today, but maybe within the last week or so" She replied. Cathy muttered something to herself as she continued down the stairs. Aragon chose to ignore it, more focused on the fact that the youngest queens, her kids, were suffering.

Katherine groaned as the sunlight poured into the window and directly into her face. She shifted on the bed- wait, when the hell did she get into bed? And when did she get changed into pyjamas? She slowly cracked her eyes open, squinting because the sun was still in her eyes, and recognised that she was in Anne's room. She moved her leg and heard a whine. Okay, so Anne and herself had made it back to the house somehow, but how did they get upstairs?

"Oh, shit" She whined, closing her eyes again. The other queens must have helped them. And that meant that they all saw the duo drunk.

"Wait... shit" She whined again as she heard a muffled noise that vaguely sounded like Anne telling her to be quiet.

"Oh, wake up!" Kat muttered, jabbing Anne in the ribs with her foot, which earned her grumbled whimper in pain.

"Too early" Anne mumbled, pulling the duvet over her head. Kat scowled quietly.

"Bitch, move. You need to talk to Jane or she needs to talk to you... something like that. And I need pancakes... and paracetamol" Kat kicked Anne again as she sat up, the room spinning for a few moments before steadying again. She slowly stood from the bed before going to Anne's wardrobe to steal some clothes. She heard Anne sit up behind her.

"Uh oh" Anne whispered.

"Here we go?" Kat replied, automatically, even though that wasn't her line. Anne rolled her eyes.

"No. Look at your shirt. Look at my shirt" She said softly. Kat glanced at the pyjama shirt she was wearing, her eyes going wide.

"Short-sleeves" She whispered, glancing at Anne again. She was biting her nails as Kat chewed her lip. Crap.

"Great" Anne mumbled before standing to get changed too. They changed in silence before leaving the room. Kat gently took Anne's hand into her own and she sensed how much Anne relaxed as they made their way downstairs.

Cathy knew to make pancakes that morning. Although she'd never seen Katherine or Anne drunk before, she had seen them tipsy and the next morning, they both were craving her pancakes. She also had bottles of water and paracetamol sitting out for whenever they arrived downstairs. She hadn't slept the previous night, her mind running full-time. Would things be okay with Anne and Jane? Would she have to talk to Anne and Katherine about the scars that Aragon and herself had found? Would the two girls finally open up about their past lives and the nightmares that the entire household knew they both had?

"Hey Cathy!" Kat smiled as she walked into the kitchen. Cathy jumped, slightly shocked to see the young duo up so early. Well, early for them. She couldn't help but to smile slightly when she saw that Kat was wearing a green hoodie. They all knew that the cousins shared clothes constantly, but it was still cute to see it.

"Hey Kit. How'd you feel?" She asked as both girls slumped down in their chairs. Anne's eyes lit up at the sight of pain killers, quickly taking some, whereas Kat's eyes lit up at the sight of pancakes.

"There's pancakes. Everything is good in the world" She said before rolling her eyes as Anne dunted her leg. The older cousin pointed towards the paracetamol, making Kat take some quickly. She hummed contently.

"They'll be ready in a sec. Anne, how do you feel?" Cathy asked, knowing to be careful with her chosen words.

"Fine" Okay, Cathy was good with that answer. At least Anne was talking while sober again, unlike yesterday. The room fell into a semi-comfortable silence, just the soft music from the radio. Cathy served the duo their pancakes, laughing to herself when she saw how wide Kat's eyes got. She sat to the youngest girl's left, sipping her coffee contently. Aragon came down soon after, grabbing her usual cereal before sitting to Anne's right. She couldn't help but notice the bruising around the young girl's eye and the semi-scabbed cut underneath.  

"So, how hungover are you both?" There was no bite to her voice, just an amused smirk on her face. Cathy almost choked on her coffee, trying not to laugh, as Kat dropped her fork.

"Umm... not?" Kat whispered, trying to play innocent. And it almost worked, until Aragon saw the paracetamol box beside Kat and the half-empty bottles of water beside both girls.

"Uh, huh, sure. You gonna tell us about what happened last night?" Okay, her godmother's approach wasn't as subtle as Cathy had thought it would be, but alright. If it got them to talk, then sure, okay.

"What do you mean?" Kat mumbled, staring intently at her pancakes. Cathy had to fight the smile tugging at her lips.

"Well, you came home five hours later than you were meant to, you ignored all of our calls and texts, you were both drunk and Cathy and myself had to help you both get changed" Aragon said, making sure to keep any anger out of her voice. She wasn't particularly angry at the girls, but she'd been worried for them all night. Cathy swallowed nervously, dreading the next part of this conversation.

"Meaning you saw...?" Anne whispered, refusing to look at any of the others.

"The scars, yeah. We're not mad at either of you for it, we just want you both to know that we're here for you if you need to talk. We care about you more than either of you know" Anne scoffed quietly. Kat kicked her shin lightly, silently telling her cousin just accept the fact that they all loved her.

"Mu- Jane doesn't" Anne stuttered, fidgeting with her fingers.

"I'm not going to make an excuse for her. What she did was completely out of line and she knows that. Anna went to talk to her while Cathy and I helped you two to bed and she said that she was distraught. That she was ashamed of herself. That she thinks that your relationship is ruined and that she doesn't know how to fix it. She was out of line, but she still cares for you. What you nearly said yesterday was mostly true. She treats both of you like her kids because she didn't get to be a mum to Edward. But, I think she didn't realise that until you said it. Which is why she lashed out. You told the truth and it shocked her" Aragon explained. Anne sighed shakily.

"I didn't mean to say it. But, she kept trying to protect me. It just... kept reminding me of Henry. He wouldn't let me read or paint or anything that I wanted to do back then, and then Jane is telling me not to stay out too late and to look both ways before crossing a road and I just couldn't deal with it. Of course, I still love her, but I can't help but be reminded of the way he treated me. It makes me feel like I'm choking. I just... need to be free to just like, run across the road or to jump from the swing when it's up high or to just do the things that kids love to do. I never got to be a kid or to be independent and do what I wanted, so this feels like my only chance. I wanna be dumb and reckless, but to come home and still be cared for" Anne wasn't sure when she started to cry or when Kat had taken one of her hands into her own. She shook her head and wiped her eyes with her free hand.  

"Oh, sweetheart" Everyone at the table flinched at the sudden voice. They all turned to see Jane standing in the doorway, tears filling her eyes. Anne looked away quickly and Kat squeezed her hand reassuringly. Jane didn't move closer, seeing how timid the young girl seemed.

"H-How much of that did you hear?" Anne asked after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

"Most of the conversation. But, I want you to hear it from me. I'm so sorry for how I reacted yesterday. It was awful and inexcusable for me to lay my hand on you, especially since you apologised immediately after you said it. I didn't know that my actions made you feel like that, you're an adult, you should be able to make your own decisions. I'm sorry that I made you feel restricted and I'm sorry that I reminded you of... him. I'll do my best to give you more space to do your own thing, but you're still always going to be like my daughter" Jane said softly, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Good, because I don't want to lose you. You've cared for me more than anyone ever has and I never want to lose that" Anne replied before standing up and hugging Jane tightly. The older woman reciprocated the hug quickly, sighing contently. When they separated, Jane noticed the tiredness in both of her girls' faces.

"Want a hangover cure?" She asked, entering the kitchen properly.

"Please" The cousins mumbled in unison.

[ashis2gay4u]

A Different Kind of Magic For My Poor Heart

Prompt: Write about how magic is the norm. Some excel at it, some are only okay, and others are against it completely, despite being able to use it. Your main character is the latter.

A/N: I used SAGA instead of LGBTQ+ due to the fact that I once saw a post referring to how it should be the official name instead of LGBTQ+ due to the fact that it's all inclusive, and I personally loved the idea.

Nico di Angelo glared at his reflection, staring himself down. He noticed how his black eyes flitted across the mirror, taking in every little imperfection of his face.

He noticed the bags under his eyes, his extremely pale skin with majorly contrasting freckles, the way his chapped lips looked too feminine for his liking, how his eyes were such a dark brown they were almost black, and not to mention all the scars lining his bare chest and shoulders, the long-lasting bruise around his neck like a choker he can never seem to get rid of or cover up.

A hard knock at his door had him spinning around, quickly putting on his black Punisher t-shirt, pulling his black Joker themed beanie tighter over his long black hair before grabbing and  adjusting his leather jacket.

He opened the door, gripping the strap of his Three Days Grace satchel tightly in one hand as he beamed at his crush, Percy Jackson.

"Hey, dude! You ready for our magical adventure?" Percy asked, his sea green eyes brimming with excitement.

Nico inwardly cringed at the word "magical". He hated magic, especially his own. He felt uncomfortable whenever his friends used their powers, even when Percy did.

Magic was a common thing in this world, but at the time and age he came from, it was looked down upon to use it in public. He still wasn't used to this time and age, his mind was still stuck in that time when magic users, people of color, and people of the SAGA community were all shunned and abused and used.

Nico nodded, exiting his cabin into the cold fall air, pulling his fingerless gloves tighter, hoping to cover more of his slightly exposed wrists.

Camp Half-Blood was a summer and year round camp for "disturbed" children and teenagers, according to the flyers and advertisements. In reality, it was a camp built to help young children and teens learn to better control their powers.

When he was ten, Percy and his best friend Annabeth had found him and his older sister Bianca and brought them here. Bianca instantly jumped on the train, and ended up abandoning him to join an all girls camp. He hated her for it for a while, but then he learned to accept it all.

Except for the fact that he was forced to use his magic everyday in order to keep himself from becoming homeless. That was the only downside.

He shuddered when he remembered how hard it was to survive without using his magic when he had ran away from camp.

He followed Percy to the borders of camp, where Argus, a mute man who has the magical ability to see everything around him, was waiting for them by the camp van.

He nodded at them, and Percy nodded back. Nico felt like a hundred eyes were staring down at him in disapproval, and due to Argus' nickname being the "Hundred Eyed Man" among campers, he wouldn't be surprised if it was the man himself.

He climbed into the back of the van next to Percy, only to have a pair of thin yet strong arms wrap around his neck.

"BABY BAT WINGS!" an excited voice shouted in his ear.

Nico rolled his eyes, "Shut it, Repair Boy," he said, turning to glare at one of his best friends, Leo Valdez.

He noticed that the others were already there, and Nico glared at Jason Grace, who was wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Awee, but Neeeeeekssss~!" Leo whined, earning a light slap from Jason's girlfriend, Piper McLean.

"Leo, leave the poor boy alone. Look at him, he has depression!"

Okay, low-blow, McLean.

He groaned and sunk further into his seat, clutching his satchel to his chest.

Finally, the door to the front opened, and in a second, one Annabeth Chase became visible.

Nico hated her power most of all. Invisibility, one of the most hated magical abilities from his time period. It was most common among thieves and murderers back then. Worst part is, it's all of both Athena cabin and Hermes cabin that have the ability, and they're both filled with people most likely capable of committing these crimes.

He doesn't like Jason's or Piper's either. He doesn't mind Leo's and Percy's. It still bothers him, but as he knew Leo before camp- he met him when they had both ran away from their respective homes at the same time-, and he has a crush on Percy, it doesn't bother him as much.

But Annabeth... He didn't like her much. She was always nice to him, but he could tell she liked Percy too, and he disliked her for it, because although Percy may be bi, he tended to lean more towards girls than guys.

Not to mention, he knew she could murder him in seconds if she wanted to, so there was also that.

Nico huffed as Annabeth signed to Argus effortlessly, and he responded just as easily.

Miss Perfect, Percy's little Wise Girl.

He put his bag down at his feet and managed to pull his knees up to his chest, earning a strange look from Percy.

He smiled at him, a small smile, but a smile nonetheless, and Percy smiled back so warmly and brightly Nico swore he was from the Apollo cabin, with magical abilities as bright and pure yet dangerous as the sun.

Nico flinched and blushed a deep red when Percy swung his arm over his shoulders. Whether the older boy noticed or not, he didn't say. Nico had to fight the urge to snuggle up against him.

Lo and behold, he didn't have to hold back for long, because Leo- who knew about his crush on the water-bender- decided to be a very unwanted wing-man and climbed to the middle seats where he and Percy sat and sat down next to Nico, pushing him against Percy's side regardless of what his pride and dignity demanded of him.

He could feel Annabeth's grey eyes watching him from the rear-view mirror, and instantly cursed every single god he could think of for this cursed fate.

This... Was going to be one long-ass field trip.

~

Nico huffed as he face planted onto the bed of the hotel room in New Rome, the camp on the opposite side of the US.

He still didn't know who he was bunking with, because as soon as he saw the key-cards he grabbed one and ran, dragging his bag behind him.

He sat up and turned to face the opening door, only for his face to drain of color.

"No, you can not be my bed-mate!" Nico cried, glaring Percy down.

Percy looked taken aback, "But... Leo is staying with Frank and Hazel, Annabeth is staying with Reyna, and Jason is bunking with Piper. I've got nobody else to bunk with, and we only booked four rooms..."

"Who the fuck authorized that?" he demanded.

"Jason did?" Percy said, although it sounded more like a question.

"DAMMIT! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!"

"...Am I that horrible?"

Nico's head shot up at the cold, angry voice Percy was using. He's never used it on Nico or Grover, but he's directed it at everybody else, including Annabeth, at least once.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Percy's hands shook slightly, and Nico knew if he got anymore angry than he was, toilets and sinks and tubs would start exploding and flooding the place.

"Am I that horrible that the mere idea of me sharing a bed with you makes you wish you never came along? Do you actually hate me that bad? Do I make your skin crawl because I'm not afraid to use my magic? Is that it?"

"N-no-"

"Then what the fuck is it, Nico?!"

There went the sink, two more to go before instant flooding of the hotel room.

"I-I-"

"You, you? You what, Nico?"

The toilet exploded then. One more before doomsday.

So, naturally, Nico lost his shit, and went crazy-mad first.

"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE A ROOM WITH YOU BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, YOU STUPID MERMAID!" Nico finally snapped, wanting to get away. He could feel his own magic run rampant, the room temperature dropping to below freezing, shadows clawing at his clothes and the walls. He could feel the skeletons trying to break free from the ground, trying to come to him.

Percy froze, before making his way over to the bed.

Nico cowered, and put a hand out. Shadows shot from his palms, wrapping themselves around Percy's legs and knocking him down, "S-stay away. I-I know I-I'm disgusting. You like Annabeth, obviously, you always tended to favor her over me before. Sure, you've been really nice lately, but... You always fall back to her and Grover, a-and-"

He let out a hiccup, wiping at the tears he didn't even realize until now he had been shedding, and retracted his hands, the shadows retreating back into his body like clockwork.

The sink and toilet stopped flowing as Percy just sat there, sprawled on the ground still, staring up at Nico, who was now full-on sobbing.

"A-an' I know you don't want a... A pathetic k-kid like me... Somebody w-ho d-doesn't even like magic... And... I just wish you'd l-leave me alone because all I w-want is you but I can't have you and..."

Nico let out a light gasp as he was pulled against a warm, well-built chest.

Percy's chest.

'He smells like the ocean...' Nico thought, feeling all the strength he had leave his body.

He broke down, majorly. Wailing and all.

"Hey, hey... It's okay, Neeks... Come on, look at me..." Percy mumbled softly, rubbing soothing circles into Nico's back.

Nico let out a small sob, and managed to force himself to look up at Percy, who was looking at him with concern.

Great, now you're a charity case.

"W...Why are you still here...?" he asked in a small voice, trying to keep himself from falling victim to a panic attack.

"Because, Ghost King, I like you too," Percy replied, smiling softly.

Nico stared at him in utter shock, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure you liked me back, not to mention I'm older than you by three years, and..."

"You... No... I... What...?"

"Awe, I broke your poor little brain," Percy teased, and Nico let out a small laugh.

"In your dreams, Seaweed Brain."

"Hey, only Annabeth can call me that."

Nico instantly soured. "Sorry," he spat, "Mermaid-Man."

Percy's face instantly turned into one of apology, "I'm sorry, I-"

Nico laughed, "Now look who got fucked over! HA!"

"You little fuckin'-" He was suddenly cut off by Nico, who had pressed his lips against Percy's in a short, gentle kiss.

He was satisfied by the fact that when he pulled away, Percy was blushing madly.

"So ah... What now?" he asked sheepishly, and Nico grinned.

"One, be my boyfriend. Two... Go on a date with me?"

Percy nodded, "YES!" he shouted, only to seemingly mentally reel himself back in and say, "I-I mean, ah, yes, that sounds lovely."

Nico laughed again, smiling brightly as he wiped away the rest of his tears, "Great, let's go."

"Now?"

"Right now, yes. There's still daylight."

Percy smiled back, nodding as he stood up, helping the other boy to his feet as well.

He didn't let go of Nico's hand afterwards.

They went off, laughing and smiling and exchanging sweet kisses.

Nico may not like magic, but he enjoys how magical the trip turned out to be, he enjoyed how magical the sparks of each kiss he shared with Percy felt, and how magical the tingling of his fingers entwined with the older boy's felt.

He may not like the magic he's accustomed to, but the magic of Percy's hand in his, of knowing Percy is his, makes him hate magic a little less.

Just a little.

{La Fin}

~Ashton Bende

[melonkooky]

the art of love [kim taehyung]

not requested

word count: 3576

genre: art school/college!au, taehyung x female reader (mainly 3rd person), fluff

warnings: no warnings 😊😊

author’s note: decided to enter into @btsboulangerie‘s september prompt contest. i’ve been working on this the past few weeks since september started. i know it’s early and there’s still a few weeks before the deadline but i just thought i’d put it out there (mainly because i might forget to post it). also, i’m apologizing in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes that i didn’t catch!! 

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

taehyung raised a soft, half-asleep hand up to his face in order to rub the sleep from his eyes. he yawned in the process, soft sigh falling past his pink lips. he was exhausted to say the least, but that was because he had stayed up majority of his night finishing his most recent project.

it was a painting. he was attempting to mimic vincent van gogh’s style of art and integrating it with his own style. it was a simple painting of some buildings that he took a picture of while he was vacationing with his family a year ago in the united kingdom.

the painting was being held in his other hand as it was due today. taehyung walked onto the school campus, not expecting a lot to happen. but he noticed a small crowd of his fellow art students. it was hard to see as they were forming an uneven semi-circle directly in front of a brick wall. it was near the entrance.

quite intrigued by the matter, the tired look in his eyes vanished and his curiosity was peaked. being extra cautious of his painting, taehyung maneuvered through the crowd of students, mumbling tiny “excuse me”s every so often. finally, he reached the front and got a good view of what every was gawking at.

taehyung had to crane his neck back in order to get the full picture of what he was looking at, literally. he was close to the wall. at first, he noticed the shade of purple that was used. obviously it was graffiti, judging by the unique style of letters. it was a statement, a quote, that had been spray painted onto the brick wall. it read: “be the change you want to see in the world.” taehyung shyly smiled. he believed strongly in that quote.

after admiring the artwork on the wall, one that he knew would for sure anger the professors, he was about to turn around when his ears caught wind of some conversations.

“i wonder who did this…”

“it’s so pretty.”

“imagine mr. khan’s face when he sees this.”

taehyung also wondered who had done this. he was intrigued, drawn to the unique style of art, and the choice of canvas. still, he had to get to class.

taehyung forced himself through the crowd once more, checking to make sure that his piece of art hadn’t been ruined or contaminated in any way. once he was sure that it was fine, he hurried into the building, excited to get to class. taehyung had always admired art, it was a passion of his. for as long as he could remember, he would use whatever writing utensil he could find and draw on whatever was in front of him. his mom would always get mad at him when it happened to be a black pen and a placemat at the dining table. sometimes it would even be crayon on the walls. but with all the practice, taehyung’s art majorly improved. he loved how beautiful art was, and he always admired the deep, hidden meaning that some of the pieces had.

taehyung walked into the classroom, the life-changing quote still in his mind. that’s how to start a good day, he thought.

upon walking to his seat, he noticed that the classroom was completely empty. he was a bit early, he noticed when he pulled out his phone to look at the time. but, as he glanced around the vacant classroom, he noticed that there was a girl over in the corner. a section of her hair fell onto the side of her face while she used a pencil to seemingly shade something in. her eyes were trained onto the paper, not even leaving her sketchbook as her free hand came up to brush the section of hair behind her ear. she looked beautiful.

suddenly, she glanced upward, nearly giving taehyung a heart attack. he gasped. strange noises left his mouth as his cheeks changed from their typical sunkissed, golden color to a deep, cherry red. the girl remained staring at him, looking at innocent as ever. “h-hey.” taehyung finally managed to say, hesitantly moving around a few tables to get closer to her table.

“hi.” she replied, eyebrows raised slightly.

taehyung’s hand moved to the back of his neck. “sorry for staring.”

she blushed, a shy smile coming to her face. “it’s okay. you probably were just surprised to find someone else in here.”

or because you were absolutely beautiful…

taehyung cleared his throat. “yeah.”

suddenly, she glanced downward. “is that your project?”

taehyung’s eyes widened, cheeks red once more. he smiled proudly and help up his painting to her. “yeah. my reference was a picture i took when i was in england.”

her eyes were wide with amazement. taehyung noticed a particular sparkle in her eye, and he couldn’t help but feel even prouder. she seemed genuinely amazed at his piece of artwork. “wow!” she said quietly while running the tips of her fingers along each stroke. “it’s beautiful. so unique.”

taehyung grinned. “thank you!” then he glanced around. “do you have your final project?”

she looked down at her sketchbook before gasping suddenly. before taehyung could even blink, she was flipping her sketchbook over, causing her pencil to fling off of the table and onto the floor. when taehyung looked at the pencil, then her sketchbook, and then back at her face, she was bright red in color. taehyung’s eyes widened. “are you okay?”

“uh… yeah.”

she flashed taehyung an unconvincing smile, but taehyung didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. then, he bent down, picking up the stray pencil, and then handed it back to her, a smile on his face as he did so. “well, then.” he laughed shyly. “i’ll see you around i guess.”

she was still blushing, and seemed extremely flustered, but she still managed to say, “see ya.”

----

you sighed in relief as you watched his back while he walked away from you. your heart was still pounding against your ribcage, and your face still felt hot. once he was sitting down in his seat and became distracted by his phone, you flipped over sketchbook and found that you had accidentally creased a corner of the paper. it wasn’t too bad, but it still made your pout slightly. after one glance at your fellow art student, you picked up your pencil and continued sketching.

----

taehyung was proud that the teacher liked his painting. every time he looked at it, he remembered the countless amount of minutes he had spent on it, how he painstakingly painted each stroke. careful not to make any mistakes. his hard work paid off, he got a 100%.

after class, taehyung was ready to go back to his dorm. he planned on calling his parents and asking them if he could visit on the weekend and give them his painting.

while standing up from his seat, just after the bell rang, taehyung glanced behind his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the girl he had met earlier. for a split second, he wondered why he had never seen her before. but his question was quickly answered. she sat in the very back corner of the classroom, an entire desk - that could fit four people total - all to herself. she was also extremely quiet and mainly kept to herself.

taehyung felt like he was very similar to her. he did have friends that attended this college, but they had completely different majors, therefore, he didn’t have any friends in his art class.

the young art student glanced back over in her direction, only he caught her looking at him. surprised by that, taehyung looked away, feeling all of his blood rush to his cheeks. his hands froze, being in the middle of packing his sketchbook into his backpack. he wanted to look at her again, to see if she was still looking. so he did, only she wasn’t there anymore. she disappeared, as if nobody was there to begin with.

his shoulders relaxed, but his heart sunk. a strange feeling.

----

the next day, taehyung showed up at the same time. he wondered if she would be there already, just like yesterday. he was actually really looking forward to seeing her again, and he was wondering if he should try talking to her again. as he walked towards the building, he noticed that a few janitors of the school were working on cleaning the purple graffitied wall, although they had hardly made any progress. he felt the corner of his mouth tug upwards as he walked by, just as he slipped into the building.

the door to the art classroom soon came into view. as he approached the entry to the classroom, taehyung grew nervous. there was nothing stopping him, he had no reason to turn away and come back later. and yet, here was was actually considering it. why was he so nervous? he loved meeting new people, he loved making friends. taehyung found it easy and enjoyable.

taehyung shook his head, as if to shake away all his anxiety. with a deep, calming inhale, he grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. he looked around, finding the classroom empty once again, with the exception of the quiet, artistic girl sitting in the corner.

taehyung stopped, time seemingly to follow his en suite. the morning sun coming in through the tall windows was enough light for the classroom, and while it enveloped everything in a golden ray of light, taehyung easily took in the scene of her in front of him. how the sun gave her skin a mesmerizing golden hue, how he allowed him to see all of her. taehyung was falling in love.

the girl looked up, her beautiful eyes meeting his own. when she recognized who it was, she quickly turned a page in her sketchbook, attempting to hide her sketch. taehyung didn’t necessarily notice, his mind was far too occupied to think.

taehyung came out of his trance, his cheeks burning. he swallowed hard. “h-hi.” he spoke nervously.

the girl blushed as well, although it was hardly noticeable underneath the sun’s glow. “h-hey.” she replied.

taehyung walked closer to her desk. he kept his gaze away from her eyes, her face. he was too worried about how he had basically stared at her for a solid minute. “i noticed that you sit here by yourself.”

she nodded, a shy smile on her face. “yeah. i don’t have any friends in this class.”

taehyung felt himself smile. “yeah, me too.”

a silence fell between them, and it pained taehyung. what else should he say?

“um, do you mind if i sit with you? that way you won’t be alone.”

her eyes widened, her blush coming back. “yeah, yeah, go ahead.” she gestured to the seat across from her.

taehyung felt his heart skip a beat. she was so nice, and kind. it was hurting taehyung. he smiled as he pulled out the seat across from her, placing his backpack in the empty chair next to him. “so,” he said, pulling his sketchbook out of his backpack. “did you see the graffiti outside, by the entrance?”

she looked up, having started to doodle variations of flowers on the corner of the blank piece of paper. “o-oh, that. yeah, i did.”

“i wonder who did it.” he paused. “i liked the message, a lot actually. it’s always been my favorite quote.”

she smiled, “me too.”

“do you have an idea of who did it?”

the girl seemed to avoid his gaze. her eyes were trained on something outside the window now. taehyung stared at her, waiting patiently for an answer. she cleared her throat, “about that… that graffiti was actually me.”

taehyung’s eyes widened. “wait, that was you?”

she nodded.

a wide grin showed on taehyung’s face. “wow! you’re just good at all forms of art, aren’t you? graffiti, painting, sketching-”

she blushed as taehyung complimented her. “although, i wouldn’t say i can watercolor.”

taehyung laughed. “yeah, i have problems with watercolors too. it’s either too dry or too watery and then i can’t really blend or overlap or get the right color, so in the end, it’s just a mess.”

“exactly!” she agreed loudly.

“you know,” taehyung began, still laughing slightly, “i don’t know your name.”

“it’s y/n.”

taehyung smiled and reached his hand out. she gently took it, another blush coming to her cheeks. “taehyung.”

until the art professor arrived, taehyung and y/n talked about many other things, finding that they had a lot of things in common. and on the things that they didn’t agree with, they would playfully argue, and it only brought them closer together.

after class, before y/n could leave, taehyung called out to her. he quickly swung his around, reaching for her arm in order to stop her from walking away any further. she gasped in surprise, cheeks turning a bright red. taehyung himself was surprised. his cheeks gradually began to match hers. he coughed into his fist, releasing her arm. “sorry, i just had a question.”

she smiled at him. “yeah?”

“do you want to get lunch right now?”

she grinned widely. “that sounds nice. where do you want to go?”

“that’s a good question.” he replied, a shy laugh following after.

“how about…”

taehyung watched as her gaze moved around the room. she was thinking, trying to think of a place to eat at. the aspiring artist seemed to space out as he studied her, wondering how she managed to look so cute, because suddenly, she was waving her hand in front of his face. “taehyung?” the way she said his name caused his heart to skip a beat.

“sorry.”

“i said what about [restaurant name]?”

“yeah, that sounds wonderful.”

----

“i have another question.” taehyung spoke, swallowing his bite of noodles.

y/n looked up at him, attempting to slurp her noodles faster so that she could give him her full attention. “hm?” she managed to say.

“why did you flip your sketchbook over so fast? you were so flustered by it.”

y/n almost choked on her noodles. she hurriedly swallowed her bite, sitting up straighter. she prayed silently that her cheeks weren’t as red as the booth they were currently sitting in. “why do you ask?”

taehyung shrugged. “i don’t mean to pry. i’m just curious.”

“are you sure you want to know?” she asked him.

a weird, fuzzy anticipating feeling erupted in taehyung’s stomach. “yeah.”

she seemed hesitant, and taehyung wondered if he was making her feel uncomfortable. he surely didn’t want that.

y/n reached next to her and opened her backpack. she pulled out the sketchbook that taehyung was talking about. after she pushed aside her half-empty bull of ramen and made room to set down her sketchbook, she looked at taehyung. “please don’t feel weirded out by my drawings.”

taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed. he started to picture what he was going to see, both appropriate and inappropriate. he felt his cheeks heat up at the thought of inappropriate sketches.

slowly, she turned over the cover, allowing taehyung to see the first page. the first page was not what he was imagining. instead of nude drawings, there were sketches of birds, ones that he’s seen many times on campus. “wow.” he whispered, a smile on his face.

she continued. the next page was of a few realistic faces, some of the students he’s also seen in classes and on campus. a few pages later, he saw the rough draft of the graffiti on the wall. he spotted the written note in the top corner, reminding y/n to use the color purple.

“this is where it gets weird.” she warned.

taehyung didn’t understand. why was she being so shy? she drew amazing sketches and pictures, so realistic that it almost looked like they were just simply black and white photos.

y/n turned over the page, revealing a sketch that shocked taehyung. it was a picture of him, talking to one of his friends from another class. he was surprised how much detail she drew; the box-shaped smile, squinted eyes as he grinned, the shading on his face, everything about it wasn’t able to be described in words.

another page was turned and he recognized himself again, this time sitting in his chair in the classroom, drawing in his sketchbook. taehyung was in awe.

he glanced up at y/n, finding that she wouldn’t meet his eyes. her cheeks were still red, now matching the red used on the booths. taehyung’s jaw was hanging open and his eyes were wide. he definitely was in love.

seeing his reaction, y/n felt shy. she felt the need to slam her sketchbook closed and run out of the restaurant, away from taehyung. but she also felt a burst of confidence in her work. he didn’t seem disgusted or weirded out from her drawings of him. she often times felt like a stalker, convinced that he would never notice her.

but taehyung, he was in love. “wow, these are amazing.” he managed to say.

she smiled, “really?”

he nodded. “i could never match this skill.”

“you’re not, like, disgusted by me watching you and drawing you in my sketchbook?”

taehyung blushed. “not at all. i’m just surprised, and amazed.”

“taehyung,” she spoke quietly, “i don’t know when it began, perhaps it started on the first day of school when you first walked into the classroom, but, i like you. a lot.”

taehyung’s jaw dropped again. his cheeks were bright red, looking like someone has attached two giant apples to his face.

she giggled in response, afterwards biting her lower lip.

“i must be dreaming.” taehyung whispered. “i like you too.”

y/n smiled happily. “that’s a relief.”

“can i have your number?” taehyung asked shyly.

y/n nodded. she grabbed her phone from her backpack and handed it to taehyung, who put his own number into his phone. “you should probably text me, so that i know it’s you.”

taehyung grabbed his phone, just as the screen lit up. it was a message from an unknown number, but he easily recognized who it was from. it was obvious given the moment. it was a simple heart emoji, and taehyung swore he stopped breathing when he looked at her again.

----

months later

y/n cursed to herself as she glared at the painting in front of her. she had managed to mix the wrong color and in return, it ruined part of her painting. she needed to fix it. the only issue was, she had mixed that color in the first place because the white acrylic paint bottle had gone missing. she thought that she wouldn’t need it, but boy did she thought wrong.

with a sigh, y/n stood up from her stool. taehyung glanced over from y/n’s bed, attention pulled away from his phone. he had a small, mischievous grin on his face. y/n hadn’t noticed.

“what’s wrong, babe?”

y/n glanced at her boyfriend. she gestured vaguely to her painting as she walked over to the shelf across the room where all her art supplies were located at. she wondered if she had left the white paint bottle there by accident. “i messed up.”

taehyung watched eagerly. you wandered over to your art shelf and began moving things around, taking a random box off the shelf, searching through it, and then putting it back with a huff. you would check the same spots again and again, until your gaze gradually traveled up the rather tall shelf. and there, as the only item on that shelf because you couldn’t reach it, was the white acrylic paint bottle.

you heard a stifled laugh from the opposite corner of the room. you didn’t even need that sound to tell you who had done this. you turned around, an angry glare on your face. “kim taehyung.”

he finally released his cackle. he definitely was not holding back, and he was clearly enjoying this. “what’s wrong?” he asked while feigning innocence.

“you know what’s wrong.”

taehyung hopped off the bed, doing a slight skip afterwards, and then walked over to your side. he glanced up, a grin still seen on his face. “did i do that?”

you rolled your eyes. you shifted all of your weight on one leg before crossing both of your arms over your chest. “can you please get that down?”

taehyung reached up, easily grabbing the bottle, only he didn’t give it to you. instead, he opted to hold it up on the air. you groaned, “taehyung!”

“i need a reward.” he suggested.

you blushed slightly. “for grabbing the bottle that you put up there…”

taehyung wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his side. his lips were puckered out, and you were feeling yourself slipping. why did he have to be so damn cute?

finally, you pressed your lips to his. immediately taehyung deepened the kiss, clearly wanting more. you obliged, only while he was distracted, his arm came down. in the blink of an eye, you grabbed the bottle and pulled away from taehyung, a loud smack resonating after the two pairs of lips parted. taehyung stood there, surprised, as he watched you skip towards your canvas, pretending as if nothing had happened.

he sighed in defeat, shoulders evidently relaxing. “gotta love her.”

[mayve-hems]

One Moment At A Time

Type: IMAGINE | ONE SHOT | MULTI CHAPTER

Summary: Delaware has been in and out of the foster care system for the longest time until she docks with the Hemmings. Through harassment, playful actions, and a few received slaps, Michael Clifford has decided to make her time there incredible and unforgettable. 

Word Count: 16.0k

Note: If you would like to request a one shot / imagine / story prompt then I am accepting requests currently and I would love to take them! This took me a while and I didn’t have much time to proofread it, but I hope you’ll like it! Alng with that, Mali-Koa is younger than she would’ve been at this time, and the age difference between her and Calum is a lot less than real life. 

Warnings: Sadly, none :)

-

She was proud of her name throughout grade school, the middle years of uncomfortable pubescence, and the first weeks of high school, but after her last foster family, she couldn’t help but hate every syllable and letter among the long word. The last house she was at, the woman that acted as a mother told her to come up with a nickname or something else to be called rather than Delaware because that’s such a stupid name. “Della,” the fat woman told her before tucking greasy strands of hair behind her large ears. “That’s much better than Delaware. If you stay for a while, we’ll get the paperwork to change it to Della entirely and you’ll never be disgraced with the idiocy of your birth mother.” Then, she stroked Delaware’s shoulder with an inconsiderate hand and commented on bleaching purple hair dye from her long locks so she’d appear more presentable.

After a year of living in an abusive foster house, Delaware cringes when somebody even whispers her real name. She’ll flip around when she hears that word, no matter the conversation, and tell them that it’s Della, and if you dare say, Delaware, she’ll smack you upside down and backward. She said that to her teacher on accident, just a few days before packing up her bedroom, causing a suspension and the demand for her to be removed from the Karlsen household ASAP. She didn’t realize Mr. Lund had been telling another student about his trip to the state Delaware the summer before, and he wasn’t forgiving from her threat.

Mrs. Hemmings- sorry, Liz, was very considerate and made a point to ask Delaware what she’d prefer to be called. She’d fostered a kid that preferred to go by Styles, his last name, then Harry like everybody else had taught him. Delaware mumbled ‘Della’ before tucking long box-bleached hair underneath her grey hoodie. Liz carried a bag up the stairs for Delaware so she could idle in the living room with a mess of boys.

They all looked exactly alike- and that majorly fucked with her head. Liz hurried back down the stairs and captured Delaware’s pale hand in her own and lead her to her new bedroom. A white-walled room with shaggy carpet that would scratch your skin if you fell asleep on top of it. Liz sat Delaware -the girl frozen in fear of being snapped at- on her new bed and pulled five different pillowcases from the top shelf of the closet and asked her to pick the one she liked best. Delaware pointed at a jersey sheet with purple and gold planets swirling around a peach background. Liz walked out of the room to grab the bedsheet set that Delaware picked out, and Delaware finally had a moment to take in the look of the room.

A stripped mattress on a black bed frame against a wall, with just a few inches in between the left side of the bed and a large windowsill. Then, there are two black box shelves underneath the white sill that seem to be onto a foot tall and a foot wide each. That interests Delaware. What in the world could be put there? On the other side of the sill sits a blank desk with a brand new stationery set and plain notebooks. The sliding closet door is a mirror and a few feet away from the desk. Delaware can’t see very well inside of the closet, but she notices clothes. Like shirts, and a few pairs of jeans, and a black flowy dress that would be something she’d have to dream for.

“Here,” Liz says, setting down the bedspread Delaware picked out. “I can put this on for you. Unpack your stuff the way you’d like, okay? Make this room the way you want to feel at home. Even if that means buying posters, and I have some Christmas lights downstairs if those interest you, and whatever else you say your room needs. Ask for it, and we will get it just for you.”

A warm feeling spreads through Delaware’s body, from her neck down to her frozen toes. She opens one of the bags she’d brought from the Karlsen house and pulls clothes from inside. They’re wrinkled, and most of them haven’t been washed since the week before she’d left. The Saturday after her suspension was laundry day, meaning nothing had been cleaned before that. She thought about it for a second. Should she ask if these can be washed first, or should she wait until Liz asks her?

“Is there a laundry basket I can use?” Liz barely hears. Delaware is so soft, so quiet and unheard that she’s surprised by her behavior. Her other foster child is so loud and outgoing she half expected Delaware to be that way. Though, she should have expected that almost all of the other kids she’d had been closed off and emotionless. He’s only an exception because he and her youngest son had been best friends for the longest time until his mother gave up, and Liz took him without a second thought. She pushed and pushed for adoption to come through fully, but his mom kept trying to clean up from her drug addiction and every once in awhile she’d say that she wanted her son back from Liz. No matter what, Liz will still adopt Ashton in a heartbeat.

“Of course, Della,” Liz gripped the bedsheet onto one of the corners and let the others sit as she reached underneath the bed frame for a large white basket. “Here. I’m going to do a load of laundry in a little bit. Feel free to put whatever you need in here, and if there are any special instructions for things just let me know.”

Delaware threw things in the basket and hung clothes in the closet, dividing the clothes that had been there and hers with two plastic hangers. Inside the closet, she was given a small dresser that she stuffed with her pitying amount of clothes. The clothes she’d left in the laundry room and the shirts Mrs. Karlsen’s daughter had borrowed are still there, waiting for somebody to take them to Delaware, but she’ll never be given them back. She’d given Madison Karlsen, the eldest of the children, a shirt from her first foster family. One with her name on the back of it in large black letters that looped together. On the front was the family’s brand -her first foster family lived on a farm- on the left breast. Delaware had to leave that family because her father was granted custody for two weeks before getting another DUI. It was to prove that she’d always have a residence there if she wanted to go back, and even though she’d fought for that family again, the social worker said no.

It didn’t take Delaware long to unpack her clothes and the few sketchbooks, reading books, and shoes she’d brought. Liz was still busying herself to make sure the corners of Delaware’s bed were tucked with love. She wiped her hands on her blue jeans after tucking the corners and looked over how Delaware placed things. All the books she owned on the box shelves underneath the windowsill, a pair of black Converse on top, and the closet closed quietly behind her.

“Would you like to meet the boys? They look like they bite, but in reality, I’ll kick their butts.”

Delaware giggled with her hand covering her crooked teeth. “Sure.”

Liz leads her down the carpeted stairs and into the lounge. Her sons, all four of them were playing Fifa on the flatscreen and the voices of Calum Hood and Michael Clifford were coming out of Luke and Ben’s phones on the coffee table.

Liz and Andrew have two living rooms- one where the boys play their video games and hang out with their friends, and the one where Liz and Andrew can watch TV in peace, without listening to the constant bickering of four boys arguing over who gets to control the remote. A lot of times, the boys will take up every inch of space on top of their leather couch, and one of them will have to plant his butt on the hardwood, just to watch TV with their parents. Liz finds humor when Luke and Ashton have to argue over who gets to sit on the floor and who gets to sit on the couch, and the occasion Ashton sitting on top of Luke and crushing him.

“Sup, mom,” Ashton greets Liz, looking over his shoulder at her. Just an attempt to get on her good side after refusing to clean his room.

“Hey! Mom!” Calum screams through Luke’s phone. “What’s up! I gotta’ come over for dinner, right? Because you love me more than Mike?”

“Hell no, Calum!” Michael screams in Ben’s phone, overhearing Calum’s convincing plea to Liz. “Mom, you love me, right? Like, more than Jack, obviously, but you’ll give me the pizza instead of Cal? I’m really hungry over here and my mom hasn’t fed me today and-”

“-Don’t guilt-trip her Michael Gordon!” Calum interrupts. They start to bicker over who will get pizza from Liz. It’s not like they have to ask anymore- they can show up unannounced and she’ll fill their bellies as if they were her other children. Except, she kind of prefers Ashton over all of them- he’s the one she chose.

“Anyways,” Liz ignored the boys arguing through speakerphones, speaking low enough for her sons to hear her. “Della, that’s Luke, and over there is Jack -he’s the oldest so he won’t bother you much-, and that’s Ben, and he’s Ashton.” Delaware follows Liz’s finger from a boy in a black tank top and a quiff that reaches the ceiling, to one with a hoodie covering his head and staring right at her, to the one that looks like a replica of the hoodie boy, to one that seems to be apart of the brotherly bunch with a few different facial features. “This is Della. Be nice or I’ll hit you all.” Liz wags her finger threateningly to her sons. They all drop their controllers and put their hands up in surrender. “That’s what I thought. Tell Michael and Calum that I will give them both pizza if they just shut up.”

“Got it!” The arguing boys confirm at the same time.

“I’m putting on pants right now, Mom, and I’ll be there in five minutes!” Calum screams. He ends the call before Liz has a moment to tell him that they have company. She drops her head into her hands.

“Hell no! I’ll fucking get over there before him, Mom! Bet my ass-”

“-Michael!” Liz screams. She grabs onto Delaware’s hand to lead the short girl into the other living room to meet Andrew.

“What?”

“Language!” She turns to Delaware. “They’re Michael and Calum.”

“The only reason we put up with them is because of Luke,” Jack yelled over his shoulder.

Luke shoves his older brother. “Liar! You brought Calum around here when you were trying to get with Mali-Koa!” Liz pretended to not hear her youngest and continued to lead her new favorite kid through the house.

-

“So your name is Della?” Michael Clifford asked through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza and Pepsi. Jack knocked on the younger boys’ head when he walked past his spot at the table, grimacing at Michaels’ poor table manners. Michael flipped Jack off in response, so Jack puffed his chest out quickly to make Michael flinch. “Jesus Christ, dude! Calm your tits.”

“Yes, my name is Della,” Delaware answered. Her nimble fingers picked at the slice of cheese pizza she’d picked straight from the box and set on a napkin, and still hasn’t taken a bite from. She pulls small pieces off the crust and lays the bread in her mouth, rather than taking bites. With different foster families, she had to learn quickly that you let everybody else fill up on food before taking seconds. She’s had one family that starved her for two days because she took seconds, so one of the biological children didn’t get to take an entire serving for lunch the next day.

“Like Delaware?” Michael swallowed his pizza to avoid another slap from Jack. One thing Jack Hemmings hates about still living at home is his little brothers’ friends constantly playing video games, eating food, or just lounging around the house. He avoids bringing his friends home in embarrassment that Michael will be standing among the dining room table, in just his underwear … again. “How weird would that be? Naming your kid Delaware. Like could you imagine naming your kid Delaware,” laughed Michael. He prepared to shove the rest of his slice into his mouth. “I’m going to name my kid Kansas. That’s a cool name.” He shoves the rest of it into his mouth, stuffing the crust past his stretched-out lips and practically down his throat. “I should write a song called Pizza!”

Delaware stared at the atrocity happening at the table. “Gross.”

“This shit is normal,” replied Ben. They’d run out of chairs, not taking into consideration that Delaware would be joining them. Rather than getting out another chair for her, Ben gave up his and sat his butt on the round wood. Liz barely walked in before turning straight out of the dining room. She’d given up on it all. “Isn’t your name Delaware? Like, Mom told us to call you Della, but your real name is Delaware?”

Delaware took her stare from Michael and turned it to her napkin. Her cheeks and ears were beginning to burn a dark shade of red. “Yeah,”

“Wait what?” Michael said, choking down the carbs in his mouth. “Your parents named you Delaware? Like the state?”

“Shut up, Michael,” Calum slaps Micahel’s arm, resulting in a high pitched whine from the blond fringe sitting next to him. “Your middle name is literally Gordon!”

“Your middle name is literally Gordon!” Michael mocks in a high pitched, girly voice. “Whatever, Thomas.” He flicks Calum’s ear. “What’s your middle name, Delaware? Is it Boston?”

Delaware doesn’t look up from her food. She just stares at it and ignores Calum and Michael’s argument over whether or not Boston is in Delaware or New York, ignoring Luke’s gripes that it’s in Massachusetts and that they’re both idiots. Delaware picks at the crust of her pizza again, but she doesn’t place any of it in her mouth. Her poorly-manicured hands just shred the crust into tiny pieces until she physically can’t tear them anymore. She jumps when she feels a nudge in her ribs.

“I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to eat pizza, man,” Ashton laughs, taking a small bite of a cheese breadstick. Delaware doesn’t understand what he’s meaning; desiring more information about what he’s inferring, she just stares at him. She’s not putting anything into her mouth, so why would that make any sense. “You’re supposed to actually eat it, Della. You’re not a freak and can’t like … eat, right? We have a blender if-”

“-I can eat. I’m just not hungry.” She wanted to say his name, to amend the sentence, just in case somebody thinks she’s talking to herself. She’s never been around so many people at once, sitting at a single dinner table and not tied down into a seat and listening to chewing the scraping of forks against plates. Most foster homes she’s been to, you sit, you eat, and you don’t speak. You eat with their parents, sit next to your 'siblings’, and finish your plate by the time you leave the table. Delaware wonders if people that don’t finish their plates -actually, napkins- of pizza will hand off to Michael and he’ll be a human garbage disposal.

“Wanna know a funny story? Luke wanted caramel popcorn this morning and he put maple syrup on buttered-”

“-Ashton I swear if you finish that story, I’ll finish you,” Luke warned with a smile on his face, distracting from the pizza sauce on his cheek. Jack grabbed the bottom of Luke’s shirt and tore it up to Luke’s face to wipe the sauce from his oblivious brother. Luke swatted his brothers’ hand away from his face, and smack Jack’s forehead. These boys seem to be really into fighting.

“That is one weird daddy kink, Luke”

With wide eyes, Delaware stood from the table and turned on her heels to face the staircase just feet away. She sprang towards the stairs, not wanting to know the rest of what the bumbling idiots have to say. That’s just one weird conversation, especially for brothers. How in the world does Liz put up with all of this?

-

Of course, only the Delaware Williams would end up suspended on her first day of school. She’d asked Michael three times to stop calling her Delaware and to call her Della as everybody else had been, and he continued, saying it was her first name so that’s what she shall be called. She turned around and slapped him- didn’t even leave a mark, just stunned him for a few moments. Liz decided that Delaware shall serve her detention sentence, finish her suspension, and would be okay. She’d asked Michael to stop, but if she does it again then she’ll get in trouble at home.

Delaware was so thankful for the Hemmings taking her in, and not treating her like a criminal for something she didn’t even have time to think about doing. Though, she felt like she was a terrible person and a disgrace to everyone around her. She sat down in detention silently, sitting next to a girl with long dark hair, and plugged in headphones.

It only took a few seconds before she was pelted in the back of her head with a ball of paper. She whipped around to the girl with dark hair and shot her an angry look. “What?”

“Nothing,” the girl smiled and laughed a little bit. “Just wondering what little miss princess is doing in detention. Don’t you know, Luke, Ben, and Jack haven’t gotten single detention in their lives. Now, what’re you going to do?”

“Sacrifice children,” Delaware answered before rolling her eyes and laying her head on the desk. “Who even are you? Why do you know me?”

The girl smiled. “I’m Calum’s big sister, Mali-Koa. But, you’re the talk of the school. Now tell me, did you really give Michael Clifford a shiner like everyone says you did?”

Delaware rolled her eyes at Mali-Koa. Still, she didn’t reply verbally, just a little bit pissed off. She shoved her earbuds back into her ears, but Mali-Koa snatched one of them away. “What do you want?!” Delaware screamed.

Mali-Koa laughed. “You’re a blonde-haired beauty, and you’re listening to Slipknot? What the fuck?”

Delaware grabbed her earbud from the older girl. “Yeah, I know. I need a fucking makeover. Are you done now?”

Mali-Koa’s grin dropped into an actual smile. One that kind of frightened Delaware- the one that you see when someone has a good idea, rather than a sadistic one. She’s used to seeing people with sadistic smiles, ready to destroy everyone around her. She didn’t know people could actually be genuine. “Are you serious about needing a makeover? I’m studying cosmetology. I’d be willing to help.”

Delaware sat up. She noted how Mali-Koa’s got dark eyes that seem as if she put contacts in to darken them. Underneath sunlight, Delaware wonders, they’d probably be a beautiful shade of brown turning into pools of honey. She wishes she’d have an eye color that cool. She’s been stuck with a basic forest green that she’d never been taught to appreciate. “Are you being deadass?”

“Why not?”

“How do I know I can trust you to not completely fuck me up?”

“C'mon, I look like Calum. And Calum wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Fine, when?”

“When detention gets out, sweetheart,”

They barely stopped at the store, picking up a two-dollar box of a natural-colored hair dye so Delaware wouldn’t be forced to dye her hair back just because their school doesn’t allow odd colored hair. She opted for a boxed black, ready to no longer be a bleach blonde her ex-foster mother forced her to be. She’d sit her down in only a sports bra and shorts, and would bleach every part of Delaware’s hair with extra strength bleach so she’d fit in with their family. She never did.

Delaware drug Mali-Koa up the stairs, feeling the boots of her brand-new school uniform creating blisters on her feet as she hopped two steps at a time. Liz laughed and asked what they were going to do. Noting the hair shears shining through the plastic bag is Delaware’s hand, she figured somebody was going to have a change.

That happened with a lot of the foster kids she’d gotten. Originally, Ashton had a long fringe, and when Liz took him to get a haircut for school, he cut it all off and let his curls grow out the way he liked. She smiled, fit him in the family Christmas photos, and even helped him keep his curls healthy. Liz just wanted to love all of the children that came into her life and support their logical decisions. Her mission with Delaware includes letting her know that people love her, and she’s not as lonely as everyone’s made her think.

“Your daughter is getting a makeover!” Mali-Koa laughed and followed Delaware into the bathroom she shares with Luke and Ashton. Ben and Jack have bedrooms in the basement, creating their own space for their college-manliness instead of video games, stuffed penguins, and Cheetos. They both closed the bathroom door and locked it. Delaware glowed after hearing Liz tell them to have fun instead of letting Mali-Koa know that Delaware technically isn’t her daughter. Mali-Koa found it precious. “How short do you want your hair?”

Delaware stripped off her polo shirt so she’d be in only her undershirt and skirt, and not get little particles of hair and hair dye on the expensive fabric. She threw the polo into a laundry basket full of men’s pajama pants and the shorts she’d changed out of that morning. Her fingers grabbed the ends of her dead hair, sliding her thumb over all the split ends and rotten strands. “You think I’d look cute with it to my shoulders? And like, bangs too?”

Mali-Koa envisioned Delaware with bangs and short hair. She has a small forehead, meaning that her bangs would be very short and look a little bit odd. With short hair, though, her face would look slimmer and angular, and you’d be able to see the skin tearing itself on her collarbones a lot more. She wouldn’t be able to hide the birthmarks behind her ear and along the top of her spine and the tattoo she pretended to never get right above her left breast. “I think you’d look great, but the bangs … not so much.”

“Then just cut it, man, cut as much as you think needs to be cut.”

Mali-Koa sectioned Delaware’s hair into two sections with hair ties showing where to place the scissors. Delaware closed her eyes and listened for the sound of hair shattering in half, and when she heard it, she felt like a million pounds had been lifted off of her shoulders. Her eyes opened wide when Mali-Koa told her to open, and she was surprised by her looks.

After being a young child, she wasn’t allowed to cut off her hair. Whenever her biological mother or biological father had met her foster family, they’d told them to have her hair grow as long as they could manage, because otherwise, she’d look ugly. They all went along with her parents’ requests and ignored Delaware’s pleads for short hair that she wouldn’t spend countless hours taking care of. They all just wanted to please her family, instead of pleasing her.

“Do you like it?” Mali-Koa asked Delaware after feathering out some layers of her hair and brushing the little pieces of hair off her shoulders. Delaware’s eyes were as wide as green saucers as she nodded her head. She couldn’t speak out of amazement that she went along with cutting her hair off and that she liked it. “Ready to dye it?”

They dyed her hair black, shoved a sewing needle through her septum in an attempt to open the piercing she’d had previously -and it worked but with a lot of blood, did charcoal face masks together, put a lipstick on Delaware’s lips, lined her eyes with eyeliner, and Mali-Koa had Delaware take out her contacts and put her round-framed glasses on instead. Delaware couldn’t recognize herself, couldn’t remember who she was besides a blonde girl with no taste in boys. Mali-Koa watched Delaware stare at herself in the bathroom mirror, watching in amazement and humming along with Jaymes Young. Delaware smiled, and so did Mali-Koa.

-

Luke pounds his fist on Delaware’s white wooden door, trying to capture her attention. “Della!” Luke yells out, still pounding the side of his hand against the wood. “I heard that you have Cal’s sister! We need her!” From behind the door, Delaware and Mali-Koa giggle at Luke’s yelling and a video they’re both watching on Mali-Koa’s phone. One thing that Delaware still doesn’t have- a phone. But she doesn’t mind. It just means that she doesn’t have to deal with people’s drama and manipulation of text messages. “Della!” Luke drags out.

Delaware decides to finally open the door up, running a hand through her hair. “What?” She demands, opening the door wide for Luke to see her and her new friend. She adjusts the uncomfortable septum ring in her nose just a little bit. Surprisingly, Liz didn’t mind Delaware repiercing through her septum, breaking the scar tissue open from a few years ago. Luke has a lip piercing, and Jack and Ben got their ears pierced on a bet together not long before Delaware arrived, so she’d given up on the no piercings rule.

Luke lets out a high pitched scream. “What did you do with my sister, holy shit!” From downstairs, they could hear Liz stammering about Luke’s language. Luke stares at Delaware with wide eyes, not realizing he’s even staring. “What did you do to her, Hood?”

“What do you want, Hemmings?” Mali-Koa sits up from Delaware’s bed and makes her way to the boy in the doorway, holding a comb and a pair of kitchen scissors in one hand near his face. She grabs both of them out of his hand but has to pry his fingers away.

“Michael wants his hair cut, and I fucked it up so I was … ” Luk’s distracted by Delaware moving around the ring in her nose. She stares back at him angrily. “You look so weird. Like … what the fuck? What the hell did you do with my sister?”

“I gave her a makeover,” Mali-Koa shoves Luke away from staring at Delaware, pushing him fully into the hallway. She shoves past him and towards his bedroom. “I swear if you messed up Michael’s hair, then you’re paying. And if you touched Calum’s-”

“-Ugh, I didn’t touch Calums! Just fix Michaels, please!” Luke looks back at Delaware just standing in the doorway, watching Mali-Koa walk down the hallway and shoving herself into Luke’s room. “Aren’t you coming?” Luke asks. Delaware looks at him in surprise, wondering why he’s calling her his sister, why he’s asking if she’s coming with them to fix Michael’s hair, and why he’s just… being so calm. It dawns on her that he’s being so calm and collected, but still freaking out over his new little sister cutting off her hair, is because he thinks of her as family.

Delaware bites down on her lip. “Of course,” she follows Luke to his bedroom.

The view there is horrendous; clothes were strewn everywhere, Michael’s fringe all over the floor, dishware and cups left on Luke’s desk for whatever reason, and messy cords littering his entire TV set up for a gaming system. Michael, though, was just sitting on a dining room chair, with a towel tied around his neck, a caramel apple in one hand, his phone in the other, and half of his fringe cut in the wrong direction.

“Della, can you go get the hair scissors?” Mali-Koa requests then hand the kitchen sheers to Delaware. Delaware nods her head and leaves the room.

“Holy shit, that’s Delawa- ow!” Michael screams loud enough for Delaware to hear when putting the kitchen shears into the sink. She giggles a little bit at whatever must’ve struck Michael and feels a sense of belongingness at their protection of her. “Calum Hood I swear to God I will not hesitate!” Delaware slides past Liz at the stovetop, starting a dinner of chicken, and hops up the stairs.

“Remember, he’s ticklish!” Liz calls after her new daughter. Delaware confirms that she heard and runs back into Luke’s room, almost landing inside of Ashton’s just before Lukes, then handing Mali-Koa the proper scissors.

“Now, Micahel, what do we call her?” Mali-Koa threatens, holding Michael’s caramel apple in her nondominant hand. Michae looks back at her scared. One hand, with the caramel apple he’s about to cry over, and the other hand with a sharp pair of scissors, and a face full of determination. He should really answer this question correctly. “Michael? What do we call Luke’s little sister?”

“We call her Della,” Michael mumbles, holding onto his biceps. “Not Delaware because she doesn’t like Delaware. She likes Della.”

“Exactly,” Mali-Koa says as if she’s talking to a small child. She hands Micahel his caramel apple back and he takes a huge bite of the sticky fruit. “Now, what do we not let Luke, Ashton, and Calum do?”

“We don’t let them cut my hair because they’re stupid fuckers that can’t cut a straight fucking line!” Michael flips off the group of boys sitting on Luke’s bed.

“Shut up, you’re not even straight!” Ashton whines, feeling offended at what Michael and Mali-Koa are agreeing on. Nobody knows if Michael if straight, bi, gay, or whatever other sexuality he’s questioned upon himself. The week before he started high school, he’d called Luke crying because he thought he was only attracted to witches. They all put it off to the fact he’d stayed up three days straight watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone over and over again, trying to memorize the entire movie. He doesn’t even remember calling Luke that day.

“Suck my dick, Irwin,” Michael bit into his caramel apple again, basically breaking his jaw. “I want to buy a onesie, but I don’t know if it’ll suit me.”

Mali-Koa halted attempting to section off her younger friends’ hair correctly to give him a soft rasp upside his head. “You’re an idiot.” Mali-Koa started feathering out the long strands to match the shorter ones the boys created and tried to match their cutting style. His fringe would be fine… but he doesn’t have to know that. “Yeah, dude, I’m going to give you a quiff.”

“What? No! I don’t want to be gay like Luke!”

“Oh shut up, Gordon!” Luke whined.

“That brings me back to something,” Michael chews the sticky caramel stuck in his teeth and shoots an uncharming smile towards Delaware. “What’s your middle name? Is it Boston?”

“Boston is in Massachusetts, you fucking idiot!”

“Well, let Delaw- Della answer us. Is your middle name Boston?”

Delaware shook her head, laughing as she did so. “I can promise you that my middle name is not Boston.” Delaware tucked a few strands of hair behind her head, coming out of her shell just a little bit. “I think we should change yours though. I hear Carol is really pretty.”

“Oh hell no!”

“Michael, you are yelling!” Ashton informs Michael, using a hand gesture commanding that he brings his volume down just a bit so they don’t have premature hearing loss. “We could change it to Mary. I used to know a Mary- she played the piano.”

“I don’t play the piano, idiot, I play the guitar,” Michael wiped his mouth quickly to remove the sticky sugar, and just like Luke the night before, he had it on his cheek. “You guys make no sense. You’re all supporting 'we should all be unique together!’ and it turns out that we’re all the same. My middle name is cooler than all your stupid ones, so suck my dick and choke on it.”

“Language!” Liz screams, barely hearing Michael.

“Sorry, Mommy!” Michael screams back. “I am Gordon. And I am so much cooler than all of you!” Mali-Koa had to hold Michael’s head in place when she continued snipping the ends of his hair. “What type of person looks at an almond and thinks, 'Look at those titties’?”

“Does that mean that you look at a cow and you think 'Look at those titties’?” asked Ashton.

“Yes,” Michael answered. “Because you’re the cow.”

Ashton picked a ball of socks from the floor and threw them at Michael. “You look like a fish.”

“You are a fish, bitch,”

“I thought I was a cow?”

“You’re the whole zoo. Thick as hell,”

“Only for you,”

Delaware pointed towards Ashton and Michael, conversing over… God knows what and looked at Luke. Knowing what she was asking, he shook his head. But still, she’s convinced that the two of them are dating somehow.

-

Delaware ripped open her door. “Benjamin Hemmings if you don’t give me my bra back I swear to God!” She ran after Ben, supporting hot pink A cups over his One Direction shirt- both stolen from Delaware. Her feet hammered against the ground. 

“Delaware Williams if you don’t shut up!” Ben mocked, running away from his little sister. She followed him down the hallway, past the kitchen, and into the living room where they’d argue in front of a sleeping Liz and a tired Andrew. “Give me my headphones back!”

Delaware held up Ben’s earbuds with a pair of scissors threatening to end its life. “I won’t hesitate! Take off my bra!”

“Woah!” Andrew called out in an attempt to calm the boiling situation. Both teenagers turned their attention towards the stretching man, scared for a punishment. Andrew just couldn’t comprehend the scene in his living room without busting out laughing fits. His nineteen-year-old son, standing in his daughters’ bra. Lovely. “What the hell is going on? Why are you… ” Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why are you wearing a bra?”

“Because I want to be beautiful, Dad!” Ben replied with a sassy snap at the end of his sentence.

Andrew sighed. “Give Della her bra back. Della, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for the Homecoming game?”

Della looks to the side and drops the headphones/scissors mix to the floor. “Maybe.” She touched the curls that Mali-Koa’s pinned to the back of her head. Just half of them are ready, and she still has to wait on the other half. Della wasn’t excited for the homecoming game, though. Yes, she’d been elected for the homecoming queen, but she still wasn’t too thrilled about standing in the rainy wind for half an hour while her heart breaks over losing. “Can’t I just skip it? It’s not like Luke was elected so everybody doesn’t need to go and with nobody there for me-”

“Delaware Williams, we are all going, and so are you. Go finish getting ready before I kick you,”

Delaware retreated to her bedroom, carrying her hot pink bra in her right hand, and continued with Mali-Koa’s hair violations. Curling irons, hair gel, hair spray, hairpins, tiny rubber bands, and the occasional clip-in flower was stuck to Delaware’s scalp and she flinched at the feeling. Mali-Koa braided two sections halfway down Delaware’s hair before tying them off and curling any pieces she could manage. She took as long as she possibly could to make the perfect hairstyle, and after two months of being best friends, Delaware appreciated Mali-Koa being there for her.

“Dude, do I have to cover my tattoo?” Delaware asked, staring at her reflection in only a strapless bra and spandex. She pointed to the baby handprint in a bed of sunflowers right above her left breast that her best friend’s mom tattooed on her underage skin last year. Delaware’s biological mother had a daughter before Delaware, but she hadn’t survived after several complications with their mothers’ pregnancy and died just a few hours after birth. The girl, Adelaide, took her last breath and placed her hand right above her mothers’ breast, where Delaware eventually got a tattoo of her handprint.

“Yeah,” Mali-Koa sighed before pulling a bottle of foundation from her makeup box. “Lay down, it’ll be easier.”

Mali-Koa worked quickly on blending the tattoo away underneath a pile of foundation and powder. Her purple beauty blender pound into Delaware’s skin, hitting a sensitive nerve she didn’t realize existed, causing Delaware to flinch. Mali-Koa laughs and slathered a layer of powder above the drying foundation and relished in the fact it was hidden. However, Delaware looked like a completely different person without solid black lines and yellow shading taking up her skin.

A knock on Delaware’s door interrupted her confusion about how different Delaware looked. “Password?” Delaware asked, sitting up and pulling a shirt in front of her boobs.

“Luke sucks balls,” Michael replied and opened the door. Not the proper password- but it’ll manage. “Your mom says your report card is in and you’re in trouble and holy shit you’re shirtless.”

“Thanks, Einstein,” Delaware replied. She and Michael locked eyes for a few minutes. “Can you leave now? I’ll be downstairs when I get into my dress.”

Mali-Koa ended up pushing the staring boy out of Delaware’s room so she could dress in the apparel. A dress she regretted even buying- luckily, it was cheap. A two-piece dress with a strapless black floral top, and a black flowy skirt that ended mid-thigh, and started above her belly button. She looked gorgeous, obviously, but Michael managed to have a staring problem again when she walked down the stairs. Luke smacked the side of Michael’s head. 

Liz had agreed with Delaware that she’d sign the paper for Delaware to become a cheerleader, as long as Delaware had good grades at the end of the grading quarter, unlike Luke and Michael. Delaware gladly agreed, especially after trying out for cheerleading, and worked her small butt off to achieve her short term dream. Every time she went to a foster house, she’d have one request: to be put in dance classes or some sort of physical labor including costumes and smiles. Liz would oblige as long as Delaware continued with school work and chores, bettering herself for a nice future.

Delaware skipped towards Liz and grabbed the document with her name on it to read the grades. They were all exceptional- 100s in every class, and extra credit in most. She’d talked to her teachers about finishing her tenth-grade year in one semester, and starting her eleventh in the next. They drew up worksheets, made after school lesson plans and attached them to a flash drive that she’d learn off of. But, she did it. Finished half of her tenth-grade year in a quarter, and amazed her foster parents beyond extreme. Luke was just barely passing the classes she’d been excelling in, and Ashton was scraping by his twelfth-grade year with D’s and C’s.

“So, does that mean I get to be a basketball cheerleader?” Delaware asked with a hopeful tone, handing Liz the paper again. Liz smiled and continued looking it over. Her grades were amazing, she went to school every day and never skipped class, she’d been a teacher’s pet too. Originally, she’d started her school year with an F in biology and no determination to get it up. Then she learned about cheerleading, made the deal with Liz, and had it up to an A in twenty-four hours. “Please, please, please, Mom!”

Liz shook her head jokingly and looked to Delaware. She was glowing; a beautiful girl with a highlight on her cheekbones and hair pulled back delicately. “Give me the paper and I’ll sign it.”

Delaware squealed, jumped in the air, and wrapped her arms around Liz’s neck. Happiness and excitement were radiating off her bones and blinding everyone in the house. Even Calum, playing video games down the street while he’s supposed to be in football practice could feel her excitement. “Thank you so much! This means everything to me!”

“Just don’t fall behind in your studies, okay?”

“Got it.”

Liz signed on the dotted line, and Delaware almost ruined her makeup with tears.

-

Delaware shivered and waited for the ceremony to start. She began regretting not taking Luke up on the offer of his letterman jacket but cuddled into her best friend Calum’s side instead. He’s a football player, in their ugly gold and black uniforms, and his large letterman jacket. He wrapped her inside of the fabric and shivered with her. A long speech from the announcing lady made them both groan in unison while she continued blabbering on and on until every homecoming candidate was frozen.

Finally, she told everyone she’d begin announcing. Mali-Koa was nominated for the senior homecoming queen alongside a boy Delaware didn’t know. The boys’ little sister, Florine Knapp, was nominated alongside Michael for the junior king and queen. Calum and Delaware were for the sophomores, and freshmen candidates failed to show up. Less competition, honestly.

The homecoming floats were ugly and faulty. The football field was soaked through and would create a muddy Calum Hood. Everybody outside was freezing underneath mountains of blankets. It just wasn’t turning into a good last football game for their town. Delaware was completely unimpressed but still walked to the track when her name was called.

“Delaware Williams, foster child to Liz and Andrew Hemmings, foster sister to Luke, Ben, and Jack Hemmings, future basketball cheerleader, and scholar,” The lady stated, causing Delaware to bite her tongue. In their house, you don’t throw around the word 'foster’. It’s all or nothing, even when it comes to talking about genetics. Delaware feels like if she could, she’d turn into a Hemmings instead of a Williams, just to feel apart of a family that loved her. That obviously loved her. Another thing, you don’t leave out Ashton. Ashton is just as much of a Hemmings as the boys, and Delaware. “She’s accompanied by Calum Hood,” and the list went on. “And our homecoming queen and king are,” a drumroll from the marching band started. “Delaware Williams and Michael Clifford,”

How the hell did I manage that? Delaware wanted to scream out.

She stepped forward, closer to Michael Clifford in a tacky suit and harder hair than normal, and took his hand in her own. Thick rings dug into the skin between her fingers, and the ring with Delaware’s birthstone sat a little crooked on her middle finger and dug into his. It was a mutual thing; ruining each other’s fingers with rings. Delaware smiled and stepped closer to him so they’d stand together and receive their crowns. Delaware smiled, waited for Liz and Andrew to snap photos, then kissed Michael on the cheek.

Yeah, she could get over being called Delaware all the time, but now it's just an attempt at embarrassing him in front of the bleachers full of school supporters. Michael blushed and tried to hide his face behind his other hand, but Delaware grabbed it away from him. Michael giggled, and walked her off the field, to their positions as King and Queen of the New Broken Scene.

-

“Give me my burrito!” Delaware squealed, grabbing the tinfoil out of Michael’s hands, having to climb a little bit to grab it from above his head. Michael laughed, pulling it further away from the beautiful girl across the booth, but ended up throwing it onto her plate. “You’re a whore, you know that right?”

“Hoe,” Michael corrected. “I’m a hoe for any and everybody. Sleeping with sirens and piercing veils, babygirl,”

“Just kidding. You’re stupid,” After ditching their homecoming dance, they walked in the rain to an indoor mini-golf arena, playing a few games before skipping to the local Mexican restaurant for delicious food. Liz laughed when Delaware told her she wouldn’t be at the homecoming dance, and to tell Jack to not wait to pick her up. They all guessed she’d find ways around the dark gymnasium with sweaty kids and two smoke machines; she’s just not that type of person.

Michael opened his straw partly and shot the plastic-wrapped at Delaware’s nose, causing her to flinch just a little bit. She balled it up quickly and threw it back at him. “Hey!” Delaware yipped when a plastic fork hit her in the boob. “I swear I’ll get Ben to beat you up.” She slipped off Jack’s letterman jacket as to not cover it in food.

After complaining of being cold, Mali-Koa stole Calum’s jacket from him, leaving Delaware without anything to cover her reddening arms. Her limbs were beginning to go numb. Jack ran home quickly, dug around in the basement, and pulled his old letterman jacket from a box he’d forgotten about. He handed it to Delaware and told her to use it as long as she’d like- even if it meant forever. Hemmings it across the back of the golden fabric, with letters for several different sports and manager pins. She was amazed at how it fit her just a little too big but still looked nice on her. She sat atop Michael’s shoulders, watched the game underneath a large jacket, and took photos with all of the boys as much as possible. It was a night she’d remember forever.

“What’s your tattoo of?” Michael asked, pointing to the black lines starting to peek through the foundation. He took a huge bite of his soft taco.

“It’s my sisters’ handprint when she was born,” Delaware dismissed before digging into her food as well. It tasted like the perfect burrito; meat, rice, beans, queso, avocado, and whatever the hell else was added. She was in love with a two-dollar burrito that was made in minutes. Nobody could ever top that burrito.

“Was she in foster care like you?”

Delaware went silent. She didn’t have an answer. How do you tell someone that your sister is dead? How would you answer that question if she was alive- yes, she is in foster care like I am but we were split up because the system is bullshit. Or- no, she isn’t because our parents actually wanted her or she was adopted quickly because she’s perfect. Even though she’s quite open about foster care, it can still be a somewhat touchy subject for her.

“Della?”

“No,” Delaware answered quickly. She didn’t want to reply, she didn’t want to think, she just wanted to relish at the moment she was given. Tacos in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant with a boy that was nominated homecoming king, while she was the queen. She was nominated for homecoming queen after years of being bullied, and she had a huge crowd cheering her on, taking photos of her making cute faces next to her brothers, and two adults claiming her as their child. She had a family that loves her, one that bought her a phone and helped her sign up for cheerleading. One that doesn’t want to give her up when the time comes. “So your middle name is Gordon, right?”

“Yeah. What’s yours? Boston?”

“I’ve told you several times! It’s not Boston!”

“Then you have to tell me it,” Michael says before taking a long gulp of soda. “It’s the law.”

Delaware chews her burrito and swallows before answers. “You have to guess the letter it starts with.”

“It’s either M or N,” replies Michael. Delaware is stunned- he’s right.

“How do you know that?”

“Because, D is four letters from the beginning of the alphabet, and W is four letters from the end. M and N are equal distances between the two.”

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“Because,” Michael says. “I got bored in chemistry today. Basic knowledge, you know.” Delaware stared at him in amazement. “So am I right?”

“You’re spot on,” Delaware’s mouth hung open. How had she never put two and two together? Also, her biological parents are idiots. “It’s May-Nova.”

“Delaware May-Nova Williams?” Michael asked. He didn’t wait for a reply. “Your parents must have really hate you.”

Delaware continued staring, not knowing how to answer. Yes, they did. That’s why I’m in foster care. Or, no, they didn’t. They’re just idiots.

They ate their food, conversing over Delaware’s odd name, Michael’s stupid middle name, and the fact that Mexican food will forever be Delaware’s first and only love. At the end of their meal, Delaware got Jack on the phone for a ride home in the rain, rather than walking. He obliged and drove to them quickly instead of partying as he’d planned. Delaware jumped into the shower the moment she walked through the door, pulling pins from her hair and forcing Luke to unzip her dress.

“Mali-Koa Hood, get your ass up here now!” Delaware screamed out, entering her room in only a towel, and ready to watch sappy movies and talk with her best friend. “Mali!”

“She’s at the dance!” Michael yelled back.

“Language, Della!” Liz screamed, wishing to break the habit of her children cussing constantly. She’ll do it, you know. She’ll end the cussing eventually.

“Then somebody get up here and watch movies with me!” She locked her door, though, before a stampede of teenage boys killed her while she’s naked. She slipped into Nike shorts and a random shirt she didn’t realize she owned before opening her bedroom to her male friends waiting for her casually. “Is there something you’d like?”

“You said Disney movies,” Calum mentions, motioning to her TV sitting on the black desk. It’s small, but it suffices.

“I did not say Disney movies,”

“More importantly you said Lilo and Stitch,” Michael states, eyeing her hand-me-down XBOX. Luke gave it to her because he’d gotten a new one for his birthday before she’d arrived, and now she can play video games with Calum, Micahel, Ashton, and Luke without having to sit in somebody else’s room.

“I did not say Lilo and Stitch,”

“And you also said popsicles,” Ashton laughs.

“I didn’t say popsicles but if you brought me a red popsicle-” Ashton hands over a red popsicle he knows she loves. He’s studied that she’s the only one eating them, devouring them in moments of the first taste. All of the others aren’t too fond of them, but she’s a cherry fiend. “-I love you forever.”

“So Lilo and Stitch?” Michael asks.

“Yeah, no,”

“What about The Emperor's New Groove?”

“No,”

“On The Road To El Dorado?”

“You have to have the password.”

“It’s Luke sucks balls,”

“You’re absolutely correct. Grab a blanket, homies,”

Calum, Ashton, Michael, Luke, and Delaware all fit on her twin bed, laying on top of one another, but paying attention to the TV with such intent they forgot that they had a pizza in the oven. Michael cried when Liz informed them that the pizza was burnt- he didn’t know it was in the oven, but a burnt pizza broke his heart. Delaware fell asleep on the makeshift bed Michael and Calum had created out of their bodies to make her comfortable. It was just a good night for her. 

-

For their first basketball game, Michael and Delaware agreed upon wearing matching spirit clothes, supporting their schools’ black-out game. They obviously had to wear the given black polo required, but they paid five bucks to wear jeans that Tuesday. On days of games with themed student sections, you’re allowed to pay for different trousers, as long as they’re appropriate. Michael and Delaware stayed up late, listening to GreenDay on the sound system Delaware was borrowing from Luke, and created patterns on ripped skinny jeans with neon paint. The class with the most supporters in the student section wins frozen yogurt during lunch the next day.

Liz took pictures of Delaware and her friends, almost causing the brunette to be late to school. The typical photo of Delaware sitting on Luke’s shoulders, leaning against Michael’s front with their arms woven together, and the weird poses Calum and Ashton thought up on the spot. Michael and Delaware also colored their friends’ skinny jeans and paid off their debt to the administration. Delaware would have tons of photos to reflect on whenever she leaves the Hemmings house, and it breaks her heart to think that eventually, she’ll have to leave the best friends that she'll ever have.

Michael and Delaware kicked their legs up onto their uncomfortable desks to show off the jeans. Delaware stared back at Ashton, Calum, and Luke sitting a row behind the pair. Luke sighed and copied them before Calum and Ashton replicated them too.

“Thank you,” Delaware shook her head. “Rude, am I right?”

“Downright disrespectful,” Michael answered.

In her small cheer uniform, Delaware waved at the crowd gathered for the basketball game, more specifically her family. Liz and Andrew snapped even more photos of her. She’s a flyer, meaning that she’s thrown into the air a lot, and had to ask Liz to pull her hair back into double dutch braids. Though, Michael kept drooling during the basketball game and couldn’t focus on the fact he’s supposed to be dribbling a ball, not staring at the cheerleaders.

“Clifford,” His coach called, pulling him from the game and sitting his butt on the bench.

Michael didn’t mind- even more of a chance to stare at Delaware. Her cheer uniform was long-sleeved, covered her from her knees to her neck, disregarding her hands, and had gold lining along the hem. She was exactly like every other cheerleader; uniform, hair, and small golden bows tied with ribbon. But Michael knew exactly which one she was, even in a group huddle of screams and chants. He knew that she was Delaware Williams instead of some prissy cheerleader that wouldn’t talk to him. He just knew.

At the end of the game, Delaware pulled Jack’s letterman jacket on her shoulders and posed with cheerleaders wearing the same outfit she was. The only difference between all of them as she had a lot more letters than they did and the last name on the back wasn’t correct. That didn’t discourage anyone from turning every cheerleader around and taking photos of their last names. Their school takes photos like that as a promotion to families and showing off a kids’ heritage.

That means that Luke, Ben, Jack, and Ashton have photos with their last names shown off in photos. Hemmings- every single one was a Hemmings. And now, Liz had her daughter with the Hemmings name glowing in the center of the photo. She couldn’t help but immediately create a photo collage of them all together. Ashton had been a football player and a wrestler for a couple of years. Luke, Ben, and Jack were all football players with the occasional basketball season and a few track and field meets. She chose the photos of them all during tenth grade; Delaware at her first basketball game as a cheerleader, Ashton during wrestling season right after breaking his arm, Luke just a few weeks before at a football game, Jack just finishing a 3200-meter dash, and Ben when he’d gotten a concussion during a football game and kept playing with tears running down his cheeks. She smiled and showed Andrew who adored what she’d done with the photos.

“I deserve ice cream!” Delaware screamed with a fist in the air and her other hand on top of Calum’s head. It was normal for her to be sitting on their shoulders, rather than walking. Liz and Andrew occasionally worried that she would fall and break something, though. “I deserve some good oreo ice cream with white chocolate chips on top and cookie dough pieces on the inside!”

“Dude you literally ate an entire package of Oreos earlier,” Michael replied, cuddling further into his own jacket. “And like four cupcakes, and we even got hamburgers for lunch. Are you trying to die?”

“Mali-Koa and I are having a competition to see who can reach 100 pounds first,” Delaware answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It never dawned on the boys that the reason Delaware was so light, was because she’d been underweight. “I’m at eighty-eighty pounds and I’m determined to beat her!”

“Jesus Christ, you’re tiny!” Calum laughed. He unlocked the side of his car with keys in one hand, and helped Delaware off of his shoulders by practically tossing her in the air and catching her with a key in her side. “So, ice cream?”

“Please!” Delaware whined. She looked around at Liz and Andrew, searching for an answer she already knew. “Mom? Please?” Liz wanted to say no, she wanted to tell Delaware that eating too much is unhealthy, even if you’re attempting to gain weight. Delaware has a small form of lactose intolerance so a mass amount of ice cream will mess with her body, and Liz knows this. Still, she stares into Delaware’s forest-green eyes and nods her head sadly. “Yay! Where can we go? What’s good around here?”

“There’s an ice cream shop just down the road,” Michael said, pointing in the direction of a corner store he’s always wanted to try. They advertise cherry ice cream with chocolate chunks, cookie dough without salmonella, and sticky caramel apples dipped in peanuts. “My mom says they’re pretty good.”

“Wow, you have a mom?” Delaware asked, referencing the fact that Michael seems to be at the Hemmings house all the time, and never goes home. She swears he’s there when she wakes up, goes to sleep, and tries to shower at 3 AM. “What do you say? Ice cream shop? That’s what I thought.” Delaware climbs into Calum’s car without an answer, sitting in the passenger’s seat and hooking her phone up to the aux. “Come on guys! They’ll close before we get there.”

Practically everyone is wrapped around Delaware’s finger.

-

Michael knocked on Delaware’s bedroom door. She stood up from her bed, the room illuminated by fairy lights Mali-Koa and her had hung around the creases of the ceiling. Michael opened the door when she took forever to answer it and stared at her.

Delaware had asked Michael to come over- said that it was too dire of a situation for just Calum and way too much for any of her brothers. She needed Michael, the boy that seemingly understood her. But before he could ask her what’s wrong, she crashed into his chest, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She had given up to just listening to her hammering heart exploding in her chest, bursting her eardrums with every pop. Delaware was embarrassed- hurting, even when Michael shushed her sobs in his chest and shoved her further into her room, closing the door behind her.

“Della- shh, Della what’s wrong?” Michael asked, pulling Delaware into his lap. Normally her bed is made, pristine sheets folded at the corners and an extra blanket sat at the end of her bed with a fleece interior. Liz had made it. Now, underneath him, the sheets were messy and unruly, not even tucked between the bed and the wall, as if somebody had a fit and tried to rip the seams apart. “Delaware, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

She sobbed, let the tears roll down her cheeks and land on Michael’s black shirt. Michael didn’t care that he could feel tears pressing into his skin, or Delaware’s messy braids rubbing the underneath of his chin, or a few hiccups that erupted from her throat. Delaware tried to stay strong, to suppress the tears before they released and whisper that everything was okay. She just couldn’t. “They’re sending me back.”

“What?” Michael asked abruptly. He let go of her side to wipe his face before he started crying. There’s no way he heard that correctly- absolutely no way that she’s going back into the foster care system, away from the Hemmings family, away from him! That’s not allowed. He won’t stand for it and will go out with a fight. “Delaware?”

“I got a letter in the mail today,” Delaware hiccuped before digging her face into Michael’s chest. It hurt, so he pulled her away so she could see him. Maybe he’d be able to read her face to know that it’s a lie. Haha, he’d answer before shaking his head jokingly, of course, they are. But he couldn’t. Delaware wasn’t lying, and she certainly wasn’t going to pull a prank like this. “It says my permanent residency will be enforced the day after Christmas, and I’ll have to live with my legal guardians. Which means, I’m going back home. To my biological parents. Where I’ll die!”

Michael laid back so Delaware would have something softer to lay on besides him. But she still laid on top of his chest, wrapping her legs in his. He remembers when he made friends with different foster kids the Hemmings had. Styles- the boy with curly hair that taught Michael how to kiss a girl. Or every time Ashton’s been sent back to his mom, only to end up with Liz and Andrew once again. There’ve been more kids that broke Michael’s heart, when their parents’ decided to shape up and want them, or the ones that were too much of a hassle for their school and ended up expelled, meaning that Liz and Andrew wouldn’t be able to send them anywhere else.

Michael reached for the blanket and pulled it over both of them. Delaware began to calm down a little bit. “It’s going to be okay. Things like this can change and-”

“They don’t change, Michael! Once you’re sent back, you’re sent back until they fuck up again. My mom values being able to say she straightened up and got me too much to fuck up before I get there!” Delaware spat. Michael ran his hands through the ends of her hair and grabbed the thick hair ties to release all of her hair. She didn’t argue when he pulled the rubber bands out and combed his fingers through her soft locks. “I don’t want to go back.”

“I don’t want you to go back either, Delaware,”

Delaware was so upset, she didn’t correct him about calling her Della. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear for good. “I finally got a family, and now … they’re just sending me back.”

“Hey, Della,” Michael said, trying to make her a bit perkier. “How about we just … have the time of our lives before you go? Like do a bunch of fun stuff or something or just … try to make it okay before you go?”

Delaware shrugged.

“What about right now we just go to sleep?”

Delaware nodded.

“Want me to play some music or the TV? I can go get a blanket and lay down on the floor and-”

“-No,” Delaware cut off. “Lay right here and sleep. Please, Mikey?”

Michael rubbed his hand along her back. She shivered a little bit. “Of course.”

Delaware closed her eyes and began to drift into unconsciousness, right on top of Michael. He ran his hand through her hair, let his other one lay right underneath her dark grey shirt, and just stared at the ceiling for a little while, pondering life. His heart was breaking, shattering into small pieces that nicked his insides. Everything just hurt and he cried silently, as to not disturb the girl sleeping on him. Her hand moved up his side, and he caught a glimpse of her left arm covered in sharpie tattoos.

While she slept, she was beautiful. Not just a beautiful teenage girl but the goddess she deserves to be, and the pain on her face seemed to disappear when she settled further into sleep. Michael’s heart healed itself, broke again, and kept on the routine until he finally fell asleep. His eyes closed, lingering on the thought of being in love with Delaware.

Something he’s never thought of before.

-

“You okay?” Ben asked Delaware. She nodded her head and stared at the drawing she’s creating on Jack’s bareback. “Are you sure? You seem really off.”

“I’m fine,” She dismissed and pressed the cool tip of her favorite black sharpie into his skin to further her design. She was running off envisionment before copying it onto his skin. So far, she’d created a snake uncoiling with a blank belly, but the back of daisies and sunflowers. Around the mouth of the snake, she outlined a sun that connected to its closed jaws. She didn’t know what she’d do with the rest of the sun, but she was going with whatever she felt.

Jack didn’t mind- it was like a miniature back massage as he played COD. “He’s right, sis,” Jack whispered before killing Luke’s character. They heard a scream resonating in Luke’s bedroom. “You’re off lately. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Delaware outlined the snake and sun with a light hand and began to make mandala designs outside of the lopsided oval. “Just a little stressed.” Half circled went along the oval as small flower pedals. Should she put even smaller half-circles inside of them or stack them on top of one another to make fish scales? She decided on the fish scales route.

“How’s your boyfriend?” Luke respawned, and Jack killed him immediately.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,”

“What do you call sleeping next to Michael Clifford then?”

“Nothing. I’ve slept next to Calum before, and Luke, and Ashton, and you guys.”

“No, Della, you like him,” Ben answered for Jack. “We aren’t stupid. How do you think Luke and Ashtone ever got girlfriends? Certainly not with their good looks!”

“You and Luke look exactly alike,”

“Shut up your opinion is irrelevant,” Ben rolled his eyes. “All I’m saying is, ask him out.”

“I don’t have a crush on him,” She switched from scales to large spirals that took up a lot of space and had a thick tail. Around the first spiral she made, she created daisy petals all around the object, then a circle to cut the pedals off from everything else. That was the design she liked. “He’s just a friend.”

“Bullshit.”

Delaware elected not to inform anyone besides Liz and Andrew about the letter she had gotten. They said they were going to try and put an appeal in for Delaware to stay with them, and to prove that her biological parents aren’t fit to take care of her. Liz held Delaware the morning after she got the letter and promised they’d get it sorted out. But they both knew that it was almost impossible. Liz told her to wait until Christmas to pack up, just to make sure she had room for every she’d gotten for the joyous holiday. Delaware persisted that she didn’t want anything; she didn’t want anybody to spend money on her, to buy gifts, or include her on their normal holiday traditions. Liz told her that her argument was stupid, and she’d always be family. 

“Ask him out, Della, or I will,”

“Didn’t know you swung that way, Jack,”

“Oh shut up, you know what I meant!”

Delaware laughed. It was a relaxed Saturday morning for them. Though, in her head, she kept remembering that she had only three weeks before being sent back to a home she never wanted.

After that morning, Jack stopped allowing Delaware to draw on his back. She could draw anywhere else, just not on his back. Luke woke up one morning to Delaware running on coffee and snacks, trying to finish the sleeve she’d been creating for Jack. It ranged from the sleeve of his tank top, down to his fingers, and included several flowers, a lions mane, the outline of bones in his hand, a sword he’d found a picture of online, a blackbird, five pairs of small feet walking towards his hand, five skull rocker hands, a copy of his favorite cartoon character, and the planets swirling down his forearm.

“If you take a shower within the next twenty-four hours, I’ll kill you,” Delaware told Jack before passing out in her bed, next to Michael, who had been asleep for several hours already. Seemingly, after they had less than three weeks, Michael stayed over just about every night to comfort Delaware. She couldn’t sleep without him anymore. Her best friend jumped from Calum to Michael.

-

Michael threw a pair of black Converse at Delaware. “Get up you’re learning how to skateboard.” Delaware didn’t react. “Delaware May-Nova!”

“Fuck you!” Delaware screamed and pulled the blankets above her head. “It’s like two AM.”

“You didn’t even go to sleep until two AM,” Michael snapped back and tossed a pen in her direction. They stayed up late, FaceTiming since Michael was on a family vacation for a weekend. Delaware knew he’d be home early in the morning, but she didn’t think she’d be attacked by high tops. “It’s seven. Wake up!”

“No!”

“I’ll make you coffee!”

“I hate coffee!”

“I’ll get you cotton candy ice cream out of the freezer!”

“Will you put gummy bears on top?”

“Of course,”

“Okay,” Delaware threw the blanket off her body, thinking that Michael was out of the room. He was hit with a sight of a girl in her underwear and his hoodie and swooned over the view. “Get out.” Delaware hopped to her closet to pick out an outfit. Liz took her shopping several times, allowing her to choose all the clothes she wanted, regardless of the price. If they fit and be used a lot, she could get them.

“But my hoodie,” Michael protested, not wanting to let go of the vision of Delaware engulfed in fabric reeking of his cologne. Delaware pulled it off in a swift motion and threw it at Michael’s face. He didn’t get to see what was underneath before forcing himself out of the room. “Hurry up!”

“Get my ice cream,” Delaware replied before pulling tight black skinny jeans onto her legs and up her thighs. With Delaware and Mali-Koa’s weight gaining competition, she was starting to learn that she couldn’t fit into kids’ jeans anymore. Not that she actually cared; it would be easier to buy adult skinny jeans with rips in the knees and the lack of jewels on her butt. That’s if she ever gets to go shopping again- her biological mother isn’t a good provider and forced Delaware to wear clothes from her childhood, starving the growing girl to make sure they’d fit.

“Ice cream isn’t a good breakfast!”

“Then we aren’t skateboarding,” Delaware searched for a warm shirt, or even a large hoodie that would look good on her while she skated to her death, but nothing went. She walked to her door, opened it up and gave Michael a full view of her black sports bra. “There’s nothing to see. Give me your hoodie.”

“No!” Michael hugged his hoodie close to his body. “Mine. Get your own.”

“Fine. Luke!” Delaware screamed. Luke and Ashton had been getting ready too, after being pelted with Vans and Converse until they sat up, with direct instructions to teach their little sister how to stand on a skateboard. They tried to teach her once when she first arrived, but she ran straight into a curb and ripped a perfectly good pair of jeans. “Bring me a hoodie!”

“Get your own, Della!” Luke yelled back.

“See,” said Delaware. “Now you have to give me your hoodie or I’m going to go around shirtless and catch a cold and-” Michael cut her off by shoving his hoodie into her small belly. She smiled and slipped it back on. Michael was blinded by the sight, admiring Delaware when she sprayed perfume all over herself. “Stop staring. It’s creepy.”

“You’re creepy,” replied Michael. “Pull your hair back or something.”

Delaware raked a brush through her curly hair. “Just because you said that I won’t,” They met Luke and Ashton in the hallway and skipped down the stairs together. “Michael? My ice cream?” Michael groaned and cut into the kitchen to rip open the freezer. He pulled the carton out while the other two boys made themselves something logical for a good day of skateboarding. Michael scooped some ice cream into a bowl, added a few gummy bears on top, and presented the decorated bowl to Delaware that kissed his cheek.

“See, told ya’ Della,” someone said. Delaware jumped around to Jack, shirtless, and standing next to Luke. His back was to her, and she could suddenly see why he could no longer be her canvas; he’s gotten the snake she drew tattooed on his spine, coiling up more professionally than she drew, with the same blank belly and flower-clad back. Above the snake were five symbols; a football, a beaker, a drumset, a guitar, and a daisy. Delaware poked Jack’s spine, right where the snake was tattooed. “Fuck! You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“So. Got something to tell me, Jack Hemmings?”

Jack scrunched his face up. “Oh shut up, it’s a cool design.” Jack poked Delaware’s nose with the tip of his pinky. “Eat your ice cream and make out with Micahel Clifford before I punt you.”

Delaware enjoyed her breakfast from the countertop and argued with her brothers over who’s turn it was to fold laundry. Everybody including Michael claimed it’s Luke’s turn, but Luke protested that it’s obviously Delaware’s turn because she’s wearing Michael’s hoodie. Michael threw a frozen waffle at Luke and informed him that he needs to get clothes folded because Michael will start running out of clothes if he doesn’t.

“Then stop giving her clothes, dude,” Luke answered and shoveled a heaping spoonful of cheerios into his mouth. Michael laughed, told him that when a girl steals your clothes then you don’t ask for them back. “Then quit being in love with Della. It’s easy, dude.”

“I’m not in love with Delaware,”

“Well, she’s in love with you,”

“I am not in love with Michael!” Delaware squealed. She finished off the last of her sugary breakfast and hopped down from the counter to rinse her bowl.

“The fact he can call you Delaware, the fact that he bribed you with ice cream, dude,”

“You’re stupid,” informed Delaware. “And anybody can bribe me with cotton candy ice cream, gummy bears, and red popsicles. Now, let’s skate!”

“Yeah, no,” Ashton said. “Let me eat in peace, then I’ll deal with your high energy. Did you drink like seven five-hour energy?”

“No, eight, actually,” Delaware clapped her hands. “I just have naturally high energy.”

“Yeah,” Liz said before stepping into the crowded kitchen. “And if you don’t take your meds, then you’ll be bouncing off the walls. Delaware May-Nova, take your medicine, now!”

“Your middle name is May-Nova?” Luke asked before taking another bite. Delaware turned around to the medicine cabinet to grab down the two orange pill bottles with her name on the front and grabbed the capsules she’s required to ingest. She held both pills in hand and filled a cup of water. Delaware downed the whole cup. “That’s weirder than Delaware.”

“Your middle name is Robert,” said Michael.

“Yeah, and yours is Gordon,”

“Touche,”

“I happen to think Gordon and May-Nova are nice names, Luke,” said Liz. Michael looked up at his mom with wide eyes, scared that she’ll have some snarky remarks for him. “Now if they’d just start dating, I won’t have to hear about ‘oh my gosh you’ll never believe this!’ from Michael all the freaking time.”

“Exposed,” Ashton drags out.

“Ashton, take your medicine too or I’ll kick you,”

Ashton sighs and replicated Delaware’s movements. “I swear, Delaware and I are so threatened around this place. It’s like we’re never free.”

“You’re freer than I am!” Luke whines.

Liz rolls her eyes. “That’s because you got caught sneaking out, so I locked your window. Della, Ashton, if I find out you guys are doing that, I’ll do the same thing to you.”

“Don’t worry, mother,” Delaware said. “Not the party type. Never will be.”

-

Michael taught her how to skate, how to play the guitar, how to dribble a basketball and lose to him. Michael taught Delaware as many things as he thought he could in the two-week period until her departure back to hell and away from the people that loved her. He just didn’t teach her how to live without him.

Delaware became dependent upon the blond, needing to talk to him somehow before she went to sleep, sneaking out to go on 3 AM dinner dashes to McDonald’s or somewhere cheap, stealing his clothes just have a nice scent before she falls asleep. Delaware was in love with Michael- hardcore in love with him to the point she didn’t realize it.

The fateful day was coming closer, but on Christmas Eve, Michael planned an entire night out for Delaware and him, getting special approval from Liz and Andrew to keep Delaware out later than her curfew for the night of her life. Liz agreed, as long as he’d keep her safe, have her home before dawn, and would call her while bringing Delaware home. Liz was afraid that something would happen to Delaware; that she’d get hurt, or she’d be kidnapped, killed, tortured, but Liz knew that Delaware had been stressing for a long time and needed a night out. After dinner, Delaware and Michael played video games until everyone was on the verge of sleep, then Michael drug Delaware out of the house to skate to the nearby park.

“Is this seriously it, Clifford?” Delaware asked, hoping off her board before hitting the curb. Black converse hit the ground, shattered the paint on the bottom of the shoe, but still braced her feet. “A park? How lame.”

“Would you shut up?” Michael asked, grabbed Delaware’s free hand to jog behind him. They ran to a dark spot in the park, and Michael left her alone for a few seconds. She was scared but thought being killed would be better than going back to her biological parents. Honestly, going home is the worst Christmas present the foster care system could have given her. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Delaware groaned. Christmas Eve is cold, with a large chill in the air and a long burst of wind. But Michael plugged something in, and white Christmas light illuminated the spot around them. He’d set up a blanket, with ice cream and gummy bears inside a picnic basket, and some stray paints Delaware knew disappeared, and a large canvas. “What’s this?”

“Thought we could have fun tonight,” Michael shrugged, stuffing his hands inside his pockets. “We can go home if you w-”

“-No,” Delaware dismissed and settled herself on the blanket. It's the one she’s never seen before; one that smells of Michael, with red flannel patterns, and IDIOT printed on the back like a marker drew it. “Let’s paint.” She picked one of the three bottles of paint from the ground and shook it a little bit. Even with the lights, she could just barely tell it’s an iridescent blue. “Did you grab any paint brushes from my bedroom?”

Michael looked down. “Shit.”

Delaware laughed. “It’s fine. We have fingers for a reason,”

“I could make a dirty joke out of that, you know? I could be the wisest-”

“-You’re never the wisest so don’t even finish that.” Delaware squirted some paint onto her pointer finger and dabbed it on Michael’s nose. His eyes crossed to look at the blue dot staining his skin. “Look, Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot.”

“I am not Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot, you’re Delaware-” Michael picked the pink bottle from the ground and popped off the cap. “The Pink Nosed Beauty.”

“That took a turn,” Delaware turned her attention from the dot of pink on her nose to the canvas in front of her. It’s one that’s large and probably cost a pretty penny. She squirted a bunch of paint out onto it in a swirling motion and started to spread it out with her finger as a tye-dye. “So. Do you like bread?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied, joining in on Delaware’s technique. He added a swirl of pink inside of the large blue one, and began spreading it with his fingers. It’s a messed up tye-dye of course, but whoever ended up with the canvas would remember the cracks of Michael the Blue Nosed Idiot. “Do you live too far from here?”

Delaware’s throat began constricting. “Yeah, actually,” She choked out and coughed to cover a suppressed sob. “It’s a few hour drive. It took us two days to get here.”

“Did you stay in a hotel?”

“Uh … yeah.” She didn’t want to answer, she just wanted to paint and cry and scream about how much she loved living in this place. “It was a cheap one. I had to sleep on the floor because there was only one bed. There was a pool, but it closed before we arrived.”

“Did you have a good breakfast there?”

“I didn’t eat breakfast. We were in a rush to get here,” Delaware sniffed, trying to forget how she’ll have to go through all of that again. She wants to stay with Liz! She wants the mother she never got that dried her tears countless times from trauma that flashed through dreams, hiding everything from the other teenagers, and reminded Delaware to take her medicine every morning, bought her appropriate clothes for different seasons, and allowed her to cheer. Liz supported Delaware at every basketball game she’d had so far, taking photos of her like Delaware requested, and tried to understand cheerleading terminology just so they could talk. Liz was the perfect mother, and Delaware wanted to do everything to not leave. Delaware laughed to hide her crying. “The foster care woman told me that I would be here until I graduated. I wouldn’t leave again unless they wanted me out, and not once had Mom and Dad voluntarily kicked a kid out.”

“It’ll be okay,” Michael whispered in a low voice. “We’ll all keep in touch. Calum, me, and your brothers will all come visit. A lot. I’ll move out where you live and we’ll go to school together. My parents’ don’t really miss me much, and I just turned seventeen so I mean-”

“-God, you’re such a weirdo.” Delaware wiped her nose and sniffed again. “Never, and I mean never live where I’m going. It’s a poor neighborhood, and my parents barely work. It’s full of low-lives that have no jobs and scrape by on food stamps. I want better for you, no matter what!”

“Then you have to come back after high school,” Michael told her. “You have to get into college here- or I’ll have you live with me next year! You can come to my birthday party and just not go home. You’ll be sixteen by then, so you don’t have to go home.”

“You’re an idiot, Gordon,”

“And you’re beautiful, Delaware May-Nova.”

“Why do you call me Delaware all the time? Why not like … Della? Everybody else calls me Della, but you always call me Delaware, even after I hit you.”

“I did it to annoy you because you were so cute when you got worked up over your name,” Michael confessed, adding more paint onto the canvas. This time, purple. Delaware took a scoop of purple onto her finger and slide it across Michael’s forehead. “Gross!” Michael laughed. “After a while, I just … I love Delaware so much more than Della. Like- you’re a Delaware, not a Della. As Luke is a Luke and not a Lucas. You understand?”

“Kind of like you’re a Michael Gordon?”

“Like that.”

“But even you said that Delaware is just so peculiar, and not at all normal.” Delaware laughed a little bit. “Who names their kids Delaware and Adelaide? That’s so fucking stupid.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is,” Delaware looked to the sky. The clouds were gathering, but still, she could see the constellations. This would be the last time she’d see them in this park- she expects to be packing everything up tomorrow, and not going outside besides whatever they do as a family. “I was born in Delaware, and my sister was born in Adelaide. I guess my mom needed a reminder of where we were from or something.” Delaware rolls her eyes and shakes her head back to the canvas. “I wish I had a logical name, like Michael or Luke or … anything that’s not Delaware.” 

“Like Jayde?”

“Yeah,” Delaware shivered. “That’s what I told mom I wanted to change my name to. Just something simple to blend in with my brothers. Not be a complete maniac and be named Delaware,” Delaware looked around to park. “Can we go elsewhere? It’s really cold.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think that through,” Michael closed the cap of the paint he was using and stood up. “I’ll make Calum clean all of this up. Want to get something to eat?”

“We just ate dinner, Micahel,” Michael hoists Delaware up by her right arm, pulling her into the air before she crashes to her feet. “The competition between Mali-Koa and I is over. I’m not eating that much again.” Delaware won, by the way.

They watched a movie in the cinema downtown, walking there and back to the park. Then, Michael stripped himself of his jacket for Delaware and appreciated how she looked. A goddess; she’s always the goddess in his world and the only one that could win his heart. Three-day-long Harry Potter marathons, Pokemon competitions, and favorable anime aside, Delaware Williams was Michael’s first love, and he’d only admitted it recently.

Michael took pictures with Delaware, afraid he’d forget what she looked like after she left. They smiled, snapped goofy photos with odd faces, then he pointed the camera at her. They weren’t on a blanket anymore, but when he stood above her for a photo of a sprawled-out Delaware in the grass, he got the perfect moment. She put on makeup for him- curled her hair, wore brand new skinny jeans, and a shirt she knew he liked. She even thought to doll herself up with a matching bra and underwear set, though, he wouldn’t see it.

“Delaware,” Michael breathed before tripping over a rock and landing right on top of her. They were close- so close they were breathing the same air at different times and staring. Green eyes hit a reflection of a different hue, waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened. “Dela-” Delaware pulled Michael close and pressed her lips to his. It was tongues and teeth, cherry lip balm mixed with cold air and goosebumps, relishing in the dewy grass and warm jackets. Michael held himself above her, but Delaware grabbed his collar and pulled the older boy even closer, just wanting to feel the warmth and comfort of a human being.

“You kiss like a bitch,” Delaware giggled, releasing her grip on his shirt but just lingering a little bit, with his lips touching hers.

“You surprised me,”

“Noob,”

-

Christmas morning; Delaware was not ready for it. Ben, Jack, Ashton, and Luke woke her up in matching pajamas, disturbing her two-hour-long nap. Delaware and Michael walked all over the town, kissing, hugging, and sitting to watch the stars collide and connect. She almost screamed at her brothers, sleep-deprived and wishing to wait a little bit longer before facing the day, but she sat up, took the pajama set they gave to her, and closed the door to change.

Ashton and Jack had stayed up until Delaware was brought home with blood-red lips and eyes full of twinkles. Ashton stayed up with Delaware and talked about the night with her, and stayed in the room until she passed out. Delaware couldn’t complain about having such little sleep, especially since Ashton got much less. She felt bad, but wanted just a few more days with this family. Just a few!

“Morning,” Liz said, wearing the same pajamas everyone was wearing. Including Calum and Michael. Black flannel pants with a short-sleeved grey shirt. Delaware observed everybody; everyone except Liz and Andrew had a symbol on their left breast. Jack had a football, Ben had a beaker, Ashton had a drumset, Luke had a guitar, and Delaware had a daisy- just like Jack’s tattoo. Delaware stepped out of the room, towards the downstairs bathroom for a small mental breakdown. It’s tearing her apart- she can’t leave this place.

“Babe,” Michael whispered, pulling his new girlfriend into his arms. They’ll find ways to contact, to visit each other, and more importantly, to stay happy together. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not leaving forever, just a few years. That’s all okay?” Delaware cried harder in his arms. “Hey, shh,” Michael cooed. “You have Christmas presents to open.”

Michael’s family didn’t do much for Christmas, and Calum’s family does their Christmas celebration the night before, rather than that morning. Liz always invites them over and hands them a small stocking full of candy and a single ornament each. They’re her kids too.

“Yeah,” Delaware answered and nodded her head. Michael dried her tears and the tear stains next to the guitar symbol on his shirt. It’ll be okay- they all understand how emotional Delaware is going to be for a little while. “Let’s … let’s go open things.”

Liz gave every single person in her living room a stocking with their names stitched on the top. They got equal amounts of treats, an ornament, and a surprise iTunes gift card. Delaware smiled, thanked her, and kept it close to her body.

They began to dig into the presents scattered underneath the Christmas tree. Delaware opened her first present and looked over the package of canvases like they were her babies. Four of them- four pristine canvases wrapped in plastic wrap and sealed underneath a piece of cardboard to keep them all together. She opened another one; the same, but the canvases were black instead of white. A box of paints, new jeans, hoodies from her favorite bands, and expensive paint brushes she’d been wishing for her entire life. Slowly, she began breaking down. She can’t keep all of these things! It’s rude to steal from these people, to take their money from them that they earned with hard work. She swallowed and set everything into a pile. Her brothers were still digging into presents, and Michael was sat behind her, with her in between his legs and her back pressed into his chest. She leaned back further, as to grab comfort from him. If her biological mom were to find any of these things, she’ll pawn them for money, take them and give them up without guilt, or destroy the things she won’t get money for. Delaware isn’t allowed to have nice things.

Nice things are for good children. Delaware is not a good child.

“Della, are you okay?” Liz whispered, inching closer to Delaware to make sure she wasn’t dying. Delaware shook her head and looked at the mom she’d always wanted with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t keep all of these things,” Delaware shook her head. “I just can’t. You guys- you guys are my family but I just … I can’t keep these things. It’s not right. And Jack, you got a tattoo, including me, and I feel so sorry because I’m not going to be around-”

“Hey, you’re always our family, Della. Okay? Did you get that? You are my little sister? Don’t be ridiculous.” Jack answered, pushing aside a new laptop he’d gotten. He wrapped his arms around his little sister and held her for a few moments. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Della, you still have a few more gifts. And don’t worry about a single thing. These are all yours,” Liz said and took a box from the back of the tree. She sat it in Delaware’s lap and waited for her to tear the green wrapping paper with Delaware written across the top. Delaware ripped it a little bit, caught a glimpse of golden fabric, and tore the paper even more.

A letterman’s jacket, specially made for Delaware, with Hemmings written across the back and her letter for cheerleading pinned on the breast. Delaware held it close, cried right above the fabric -so she wouldn’t ruin it- and told Liz thank you a thousand times. She slipped it over her pajamas; it fits just right. Not too big, not too small. Just enough room for her, some thick clothes, and her phone. That broke her heart even more.

Everyone finished opening their gifts, and packed the wrapping paper up in the recycling bin. For breakfast, they had pancakes with bacon and eggs, orange juice, and Liz made sure that Delaware took her medicine. When she goes to her mom, she knows that she’ll go without medicine, as her mom doesn’t believe in taking Delaware to the doctor, especially for medicine that helps her function. Delaware took her plate and cup into the sink, rinse off the both of them, and stared right at the Christmas tree. It’s in the boys’ living room, so she can see it perfectly.

Tucked underneath all of the branches was a green box, one that hadn’t been there when they were cleaning up wrapping paper. It’s thin, maybe half an inch thick at most, but had a lot of surface area. Delaware pointed to it.

“There’s another gift,” She whispered, but everyone heard her.

“Who’s it for?” Jack asked. He looked over at it. “Go grab it, Della.”

Della walked to the box, picked it up and carried it back to the counter. It was perfectly wrapped, without a single crease in the tape. “It says Jayde. Who’s Jayde?”

Liz pointed to Delaware. “That’s what you wanted your name to be, right? Jayde May-Nova?”

Delaware nodded her head.

“Then it’s for you.”

Delaware looked down, and began to tear away at the paper, but it was wrapped a lot. Her entire body was shaking, even though she’d taken her anxiety medicine to calm her nerves. She shoved all of the paper off; every last bit. She was left with a picture frame. For a moment, she hesitated turning it over, afraid to be cut by the large frame. Shakily, she flipped it, but she couldn’t read it through all of her tears. She wiped her eyes and stared at the frame in front of her. The writing was fancy, but it was obvious what it had said.

Certificate of Adopting for Jayde May-Nova Hemmings finalized for 12/26

Delaware pressed her hand to her mouth, suppressing a sob, ready to scream out until her voice was empty and cracked. She fell to the floor, practically fainting from seeing the document. Michael picked her up. A camera was recording her reaction, seeing that this was something very important to her.

She looked at her brothers. Luke, Ashton, Ben, and Jack were smiling, with tears in their eyes.

“You didn’t think we would actually let you go back to your moms, did you?” Jack asked before standing up to engulf his little sister in a hug. “We’ll never let go, Jayde.” Delaware looked around, at her family- the real family that chose her, changed her name, and legally adopted her. Her biological mom, somebody that doesn’t deserve life. But Liz Hemmings- God, she’s an angel.

-

Request here

[nancydrew65]

SKAM Austin Season 2 Episode 7 Thoughts

This episode was extremely hard to watch. Sexual assault is an incredibly heavy storyline, but I think SKAM Austin has done an incredible job so far in telling Grace’s story. That being said, I found some parts very difficult to watch and I had to steel myself to get through all the clips this week. As a young woman, this storyline resonates very deeply with me. I have been lucky enough to avoid a lot of sexist comments or misogynistic cat-calls, but especially now, with the whole #MeToo movement bringing to light so many awful instances of sexual harassment, it just makes me so wary. I think Grace’s story is an important one, and I think it is a really necessary one to tell in this day and age.

Up Early

Oh, boy. This is going to be rough. Grace wakes up and immediately knows something is wrong. She finds herself lying in bed naked next to Clay and another random girl.

This scene was shot very well. I felt Grace’s panic as she put her clothes on and hurried out of the house. I felt her anxiety as she impatiently waited for her ride to come. Also, a nice American touch for Grace to have called some driving service. All the other remakes have just walked home.

No matter how many times I watch this storyline, I don’t know if I will ever come to a point where I am unaffected by it. To their credit, I think all of the remakes so far have done a superb job handling the sexual assault storyline (except for William’s reaction to it, obviously).

I have to say, the little things Grace murmured to herself throughout the clip just broke my heart. She was trying so hard to convince herself that she could keep it together.

Oh, no. She gets all the messages from Daniel about how much he loves her. That must be a punch in the gut.

And then she throws up almost as soon as she gets in the car.

I read some comments on the website and was shocked to see how many people were victim-blaming Grace. It disgusted me. What happened to Grace was in no way her fault. Victims of sexual assault already suffer enough from guilt about those events and often times don’t come forward exactly because of reactions like the ones I saw in the comments.

Cocoon

Grace feverishly scrubs her body in the shower as if to wipe off any trace of Clay’s touch from her.

She then huddles in her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, the aforementioned cocoon. I saw a beautiful comment about how this whole experience for her is like a caterpillars journey into becoming a butterfly. I just need Grace to become a butterfly.

Go Away

Well, Eve is kind of annoying at first in this scene. Just bustling in the door and touching and grabbing things.

Oh, god. Of course Grace wants to get rid of that god awful shirt. She thinks she

I do appreciate the fact that Eve left right away when Grace asked her to. That was considerate of her.

And Grace returns to her cocoon and then proceeds to take another shower.

What’s Going On?

A loud party is going on outside Grace’s room while she is trying to research if she had sex or not. Fuck, why is this party going on?

I find it sickening that Grace is forced to communicate with her possible assaulter in order to find out what happened that night. She should not have to go through with that after everything that happened to her. Her agonizing over whether or not to send the message with the smiley face emoji was surprisingly poignant. Hoping he opens up to her, but trying not to appear too friendly nor wanting to appear too friendly.

Finally, Grace goes out to shut that party down… and what the heck is going on in that house?

I mean, I know the Bunny Vampire (?) party is an annual tradition, but Eve should have still asked Grace if it was OK given that they do share the house.

Did Eve really call Grace a bitch? Eve. I am disappointed.

OK, I know that Grace is pushing everyone away and I did appreciate that Eve said she was there for Grace no matter what, but her whole speech sounded so forced. I mean she literally just called Grace a bitch, for god’s sake. It is hard to sound sincere about being there for a person right after saying that to them.

Ugh, the texts from Daniel are just a punch to the gut for Grace.

I found it interesting that they broke the fourth wall with Grace staring straight at the camera.

All I Get

Oh, OK. So it is an essay project that Grace has to write this time around. I find that kind of weird because they did so much to set Grace up as a journalist this season that I just assumed they would take the same route as OG. I guess it doesn’t really matter either way.

Grace looked so uncomfortable with Daniel’s physical contact. I am not surprised.

She pushes Daniel away because she thinks she slept with his brother. Daniel must be so confused right now and I don’t blame him. Of course, I don’t blame Grace either. She feels like she has no choice in this situation and she doesn’t want to hurt Daniel.

Feel Like Me

Grace stalking Clay again - this time on Facebook. God, I feel so bad for her. Tell the girls, please.

Kelsey comes in as a ball of energy, ready to get Zoya onto Prom court. I am interested to see more of this new Kelsey who no longer has to constantly worry about Daniel.

Zoya seems ready to drop the whole Prom thing after the “terrorist” incident. All the girls look super awkward when she brings it up. Did they never discuss it with Zoya?

“Zoya, whoever did that to your locker is obviously going to hell.” Wow. Kelsey’s Christian upbringing is not brought up often, but it’s lines like these, ones that pack such a punch, that makes me wish SKAM Austin delved into this part of Kelsey’s character more.

Aw, and that little line of “You’re the prettiest one out of all of us,” to Zoya was so cute. You can tell it is a compliment of the highest regard coming from Kelsey. I am really loving this Kelsey.

I was kind of worried where they were going when Kelsey asked why Zoya wore her hijab, but SKAM Austin did not disappoint. Zoya wears her hijab because it makes her feel more herself and despite all the hate that it attracts, she still loves wearing it. That was a beautiful statement and I loved Kelsey’s response to it, wanting to be as brave as Zoya. #ImWithZOYA.

And then the girls ask Grace what she thinks and she has to muster up this half smile to agree with them. I feel for her so much.

Worried

Grace is mulling over what to write for the essay competition when Marlon comes up to her.

Well, this Marlon situation is very complicated. I do think Grace was rather harsh on him, but it is understandable; she is projecting her feelings about her sexual assault on Marlon.

I know people were debating about whether it was wrong what Marlon did, starting to hook up with Megan and then stopping. I agree that it is good that he stopped once he realized how drunk she was, but the fact remains that he should have never tried to hook up with her in the first place. They are broken up, he obviously doesn’t have feelings for her, but she does and hooking up with her, even just starting to hook up with her, can seriously mess with her. Megan needs to have closure with this relationship or else she will never get over Marlon. I do think he was right in saying it wasn’t his place to take care of her; that goes along with him not involving himself with her. Just stay away from her, Marlon. Please.

Then Grace gets the text from Clay saying nothing happened at the party. Oh, she looked so happy for a second. The relieved smile on her face made my day brighter. Unfortunately, it all had to be ruined.

Grace goes to Daniel and they reunite. OMG, it seemed like Grace might tell Daniel what happened with Clay!

But then he cuts her off to explain himself. Notable difference in this scene is that he does not say his brother is a psychopath. Well, that’ll come later… Instead he goes on to say that he can’t promise not to get into another fight. Hmm, not a great make-up speech, Daniel. Oh, he says if anyone ever tried to hurt Grace, he would kill them. They proceed to passionately make-out. WHAT?????? OK, if someone said that to me, I would be majorly freaked out. I don’t anyone to kill someone on my behalf, or revenge my death or anything like that. Not even my dad. That kind of thing just makes me feel uncomfortable and frightened. I don’t get why someone (Grace, cough, cough) would be turned on by that.

Daniel leaves, Grace gets that dreaded text. The text where Clay sends a naked photo of her (majorly creepy, dude) and tells her how crazy she was at the party. Grace looks horrified.

General Thoughts

Well, I thought this episode was one of the best this season. So far, SKAM Austin has been nailing it with these scenes about the aftermath of a sexual assault. They included links to an organization, RAINN, that helps sexual assault victims. I appreciated that. A lot. So, I guess we have two more episodes in the season, not one. Thank goodness because it would be very hectic trying to cram everything into only one more episode. Grace still hasn’t told the girls or Eve anything. I hope next episode she finds the courage in herself to confide in them. They will not judge her, and they will support her, no matter what.

[ggukshelf]

Bear with me, will you?

pairing:  You x Yoongi  workd count:  2661

The new studio was enormous and you felt nervous looking at it, but taking this big step into your plan of career was something you needed to do, more than ever. So many plans were left undone for a long time, therefore this was it. This was definitely it.

BigHit Ent.

You never thought you’d come across any company in South Korea, let alone one that has been so prospective for the last few years, but you were here and this was your time to shine.

You could feel your heart pump so fast you thought you were going to collapse at any time and end your dream before even starting to live it. Normally you’d be worrying about many things, but at this moment you just wanted to enjoy your biggest accomplishment.

You were officially hired as a dancer and choreographer for the new group Big Hit was about to debut.

“One and two, three and four. Now move slowly to the ground... and up.”

“Eonni, this is too difficult,” Seolhee complained, not frustrated with you, but with herself. She had a lot of problems regarding learning new choreographies; she was an exceptional singer, but not that good of a dancer.  

“You can do it, Seolhee-ah.” You patted her hair as you walked past her to pause the song.

“I can’t, this is just- Argh!”

“He’s a normal person like you, dummy. You’ll rock it.”

You were teaching the choreography Seongdeuk created with you, it was for an end of the year stage which Seolhee and Jimin would be collaborating on in two months.  You were impatient as well, knowing you’d be hanging out more with BTS again soon enough, but you tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, they were label mates, she shouldn’t be so nervous.

That’s what you repeated to yourself every day for the rest of the week.     

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”

“I’m sure. I’ll have a busy day tomorrow.”  You answered Hoseok.

All the crew, including stylists, hairdressers and choreographers would be going out to celebrate a successful year.  It’s been three months already and you still felt uncomfortable near everyone. They were all so nice to you, but you weren’t used to that much kindness.

“Oh, please!!!! Noona, you never go.” Jungkook whined, making you almost pout in front of them, Seolhee was looking at you with pleading eyes as well, but all you did was a hiss and deny his invitation once again.

The streets were cold and you thought it would have been a better idea to accept their invitation to celebrate in a cozy place with a lot of orange juice and maybe a little bit of Soju, this was a habit you got from your friends in Brazil, always mixing up some alcohol with  sweet things, although you weren’t much of a drinker.

Your phone started buzzing and despite walking alone, you weren’t afraid of being stolen - the magic of South Korea. You picked up your phone and answered immediately without looking twice to the number on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Where are you now?” You heard a familiar husky voice speaking without any greetings first.

“Ehm… who wants to know?”

“Really? Okay, it’s Yoongi.” You could hear his chuckle almost offended by not having his phone number saved on your contacts list.

“Oh, Yoongi-ssi.”

“I already said you can call me oppa.”

“O-oh, okay… o...ppa?” You could feel cold sweat dripping down on your back. It was so unusual to even be noticed by him during the times you met each other, because you were always talking majorly about work and how he could improve even more, because Yoongi was a really good dancer already, just a tiny bit lazy; sometimes you were discussing the feeling of some songs so you could work better on them. You never spoke with him outside of work, just that one time you were eating in the cafeteria of Inkigayo waiting for the new girl group’s debut and you met him there so he just sat with you and made small talk to pass the time.

He was the sweetest person ever, albeit he tried to convey the opposite, you could see through that with his small actions towards people around him, always kind, always caring, always him.

In the beginning it was difficult to not stare when you were in the same room, a few times you didn’t notice his presence much when you were focused on your job as to help others with their dance movements, but when you had a break your eyes always darted directly to his figure almost immediately, as if they belonged there. Like magnets, as you explained to your friends these weird things you kept doing whenever you were near him. And you wanted it to stop, but then he was calling you for whatever reason he had and it just didn’t feel right. Almost like you didn’t deserve to have his attention.

“So, where are you right now?”

“Ehm, walking home?”

“Is this a question? Don’t you know where you are?”

“No! I mean… I do! It’s just… I’m flustered by your call.”

“Why?”

“I was just not expecting it.” You, of five years ago, wouldn’t even be able to mutter a word to him, so you were very thankful for time and growth because you were having a normal - weird - conversation with someone you admired a lot without stuttering or giving away the state of awkwardness you were in at this very moment.

“I see! Well… I need to know so I can pick you up.”

You choked on your saliva.

“Hey… you okay?”

“Y-yes! Just… what did you just say?”

“I need to know so I can pick you up.” He repeated almost as if you didn’t hear him, which he knew you obviously did.

Yoongi wasn’t stupid.

Yoongi knew you were declining invitations because of him, he isn’t much talkative because he is a good observer and to your despair, he had been observing you for quite a long time.

He noticed you were always staring, always shying away when he got too close so that intrigued him a little bit more. He started paying attention to the way you treated the - at the time- trainees from the new group. You had to work alongside them to make this group debut in their best shape. Yoongi and Namjoon were helping BigHit’s team with the songs and you were making choreographies with Sungdeuk so your jobs overlapped frequently. You needed to know the feelings of the songs to bring life to the choreo, that’s why you were hired in the first place. You could understand the lyrics and give beautiful meanings to the movements, something Bang PD was extremely impressed about, not just him, mind me telling you.

Yoongi was smiling to himself the first time he saw the sweetest action he thought a human being could do when Sungdeuk almost broke the trainee's heart by scolding them aggressively. Korea’s system of encouraging others was a little bit fucked up, Big Hit was actually very low on those kinds of attitudes, but the time was up and he had to make the girls wake up. After he left the room, Yoongi was about to enter when he saw you talking to all of them in a semi-circle.

Nobody noticed his presence.

“I know you girls are scared and anxious, but you are doing fine. You really are. Improvement comes with time, what your teacher wanted to tell you just now, is that you need to show you are doing your best, even if your best still needs improvement, we just want you to give your all to this.”

The talk went on and on and Yoongi didn’t even enter the room, leaving the girls comfortable enough to cry and get their support from their favorite teacher... You!

Like I said… he wasn’t stupid. He knew observing you wouldn’t be a consequence-free act, so in between these three months, he started having little heart attacks every time you smiled at him. The difference between both of you was that he knew how to hide it so well, yet you couldn’t even pretend you didn’t feel anything.

Everyone started to notice after a while how you and Yoongi communicated through looks and gasps of air when you were almost touching each other’s arms for being so close.

Nobody dared to utter a word about it.

It looked like some sort of soundless communication, that you... especially, didn’t even know was happening. But Yoongi knew, and he knew exactly where all of this was coming from.

“Pick- what?”

“Why are you so deaf today?” He laughed a bit making your stomach churn with the sound of his laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m just very surprised.” You answered back, trying to steady your voice.

“About what?”

“Just… nevermind- I…”

“Listen, I know you are not going because of me, I’ve realized that quite a while ago, and I just want to know where are you so I can pick you up.” He wasn’t rude, he just really didn’t want to lose more time with useless remarks, he wasn’t giving up.

“I’ll- Ehm.”

“Okay, send me your directions on Kakao, I’ll be waiting. Bye.”

“This is so weird.”

“What is so weird?” He asked looking ahead, concentrating on the road.

“I’m not used to it.” You answered honestly, it was weird still having him giving you rides home every time he was in Seoul and not overseas.

It was weird knowing he would always call you again and again until you picked up and talked to him.

You didn’t understand the reasons behind his actions, albeit he told you millions of times before, he simply liked you.

Dumfounded. No other word could describe how you felt when he told you that, and it was just unbelievable.

“Why do you even like me?” You asked.

“Why do you even like me?” He replied.

“Because you are-- incredible.” You blurted out hiding your face in your hands, laughing nervously and feeling the heat on your cheeks get uncomfortable.

“Well, same applies to you, I only have a few more reasons to add, yet I feel like if I do it now, you’re going to combust.” He chuckled entertained by your always cute reactions.

At first, it was hard for him, you were partially passive aggressive while talking to him, hoping he’d give up on you, fortunately -or not- it didn’t happen. He was not the type to give up on what he really wanted.

And he wanted to get to know you better. That’s how it all started.

“Taking you to dinner out is weird?”

“Definitely.”

“Are you scared?”

“A lot!”

“Will you only give me short answers?” He looked at you half smirking. He knew you were very nervous. In fact, you were against going out in public since you didn’t want to affect his career in any way. Plus you knew it’d be difficult since you worked together, the public wouldn’t see it lightly; not that you had a relationship, because you didn’t.

It took you a bunch of weeks to start having nice conversations about everything and anything… I mean, conversations like normal people.

“Sorry!”

“There you go again… just, relax!” He smiled a little, trying to calm you down, which didn’t really help, so he went a little further, placing his palm on your left thigh and squeezing it a bit.

You took a deep breath and smiled back at him, still a bit nervous since you didn’t know where he was taking you.

“Is this real?” Yoongi had just taken your blindfold off and you couldn’t believe where you were.

The bright colorful lights of the amusement park were so beautiful you were astonished to see the park was opened only for both of you. You were jumping excitedly clapping your hands while Yoongi looked at you fondly. You were so cute!

“Yes, it is. Are you okay now… with our date?” He asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Hmm, yes! Definitely. I mean… look at this.” You opened your arms and walked close to the merry-go-round with a big smile on your face, not a care in the world, not even being afraid of letting Yoongi see your raw emotions.  “This is incredible!”

“I’m glad you like it.” He walked towards you, making you stop looking around and concentrating on the situation you were in. “I needed to impress you to ask you something.”

You gulped and so did he.

“Well, about impressing me… you really did.” You smiled a little. Looking down and trying to breathe. You and he had so much time to get to know each other, to gain each other’s trust, to understand each other’s feelings and at some point, to accept you felt the same way.

Yoongi never started much skinship since he knew you were always so nervous about it, but often he held your hands and kissed the top of your head. Now, he wanted to take a step further.

He didn’t take his eyes off of you and after he was almost touching your chest with his torso. He gently held your waist, still looking at you carefully as if searching for any kind of discomfort from your part.

You were nervous, but you wanted this.

“I know I’m kind of a grandpa when it comes to going out and doing things, but this park is so you and I wanted to see you happy.” He simply said, smiling kindly at you.

Your mind was begging you to not do it, but your body against your own will leaned onto him. You rested your forehead against his firm chest while you sighed in content.

“Thank you!”

You couldn't see it, but Yoongi gave you his widest smile, he kissed the top of your head, like he is used doing now while he felt his chest warm up at the thought of your happiness. You deserved it. Both of you did!

“Thank you for accepting me.” He said almost in a whisper.

“What are you-”

“I know it might be hard because I’m an idol and you don’t believe how much I care for you, but I do. And closing this park is not even close to the things I want to do for you.”

“Oh god, please… don’t do anything like this again.” You looked up, worried. “It’s expensive.”

“You are worth it.” He smiled and his eyes were so beautiful.

“I-”

“I know.” He said, taking one of his hands off your waist, bringing it to your cheek. He held you so close, your bodies were burning with the heat coming from each other’s nervousness.

“Bear with me, will you? I want to be with you. So please, accept me.” He asked quietly and you could feel your eyes getting watery. Everything seemed like a dream and you were just waiting to wake up. After a while though, he chuckled and called your name softly, understanding you were overwhelmed.

“I want to be with you so bad.” You answered back.

“Good.”

“Yeah, good!”

He leaned even more so his lips could touch yours. So soft, so warm, so good.

He was so gentle as if any brusque movement could break you, and you were very impatient, but also letting him lead things. His hand was big and you felt so safe when he touched your cheek as if nothing in the world could hurt you because he was your shield. His tongue was tender, smooth and when it touched yours, you felt waves of electricity running through your entire body.

He was there for you, he wouldn’t go anywhere and he wanted you to accept him.

When you parted the kiss to take a deep breath, you finally got the realization.

This was definitely it. You were living the dream!