#but she be dead mate

[bokettochild]

Fable (about Legend): You know, despite being a seventeen-year-old boy, he is somehow the least likely person you'll see chasing a skirt.

Wild: Well, maybe he isn't after skirts.

Fable *deadpan*: Well, he definitely isn't after pants either. Be it to wear or to get in someone else's!

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3

good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.

[eelclaw]

stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks

[blimbo-buddy]

I’ve probably said this more times than I can count but while I 100% agree that it’s strange to have the female characters move clans to be with their husbands, DoveWing is not at all a good example to be using for this argument

[rayllurn]

Soren and Zubeia Book Five: Ocean — Chapter 5: Archmage Akiyu

[raindropren]

,,, scott,,, smajor,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[rakktoons]

“That sounds a lot like you doesn’t it? Wait- maybe that’s why I like her so much”

When I tell you that if Niko had been there she straight up would have told Charles something like “so you’re into him, now kiss” and they would have been endgame by episode 3

[devilsrecreation]

This has probably been said before but can we just appreciate the attitude Sarabi gives Scar in TLK?

The scene literally starts with Scar yelling for Sarabi and this is how she acts while she’s making her way towards him

She is literally surrounded by her natural enemy and what does she do? Is she scared of them? Does she hesitantly walk towards Scar? Does she even try to appear polite to the hyenas cuz she doesn’t want problems? No. She just looks down on them with this “I’m better than you” look/pos

She doesn’t even try to fight back when some of the hyenas are snapping at her, she just casually walks by cuz she doesn’t have time for their shit

And look at her stance and how she talks to Scar. She doesn’t cower in fear ONCE nor does she act hostile towards him. She keeps her stance with her head held high and calmly tells him the reality of what’s going on. She doesn’t necessarily belittle him, all she does is spit facts.

Also I love her tone when she says “Yes, Scar?”. She sounds cordial but it’s really code for a sassy “What do you want now?”

Hell, she’s too much of an absolute queen to yell at him. She does raise her voice a bit, but her tone is more stern than anything when she says Scar’s decision to stay has sentenced them to death and he can’t just let them die.

I like to think “us” isn’t just referring to the Pride, she’s talking about the hyenas as well. She knows the lack of food isn’t just gonna starve the lions, it’s gonna kill off the hyenas too. Something you know Scar never thought about

Could you imagine what she would be like if she were ever in TLG? Like she sees Scar’s ghost for the first time and she STILL gives him attitude hfhfgfgd

[thedreadvampy]

my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight

and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.

and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.

HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."

I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.

in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.

[commander0fmyheart]

Ok starting a new one for Us

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas24 NYE: Infidelityverse

Happy New Year, everyone!

This one was requested by my beloved beautlilies, and I am powerless to resist her whims.

This universe is getting a massive overhaul in the rewrite. Pondering it for a hot minute, I really want to explore Jasper's 'addiction' to emotions, his fucked up relationship with Maria, Alice's absolute disconnect from humanity, how hard she's worked to build the Cullen version of herself from a blank slate, and who she is when that's not something that makes her happy anymore, Bella's fascination and fixation on becoming a vampire, and the absolutely messy dynamic of the Cullen family and their stunted, unchanging roles in the family hierarchy. I don't want there to be a singular 'villain'; just a lot of flawed people making choices that result in consequences. And as it stands right now, it's very flat and not quite as complex as I want it to be. So hopefully I can sit down and smash out the new version of the first chapter sometime soon.

This particular section kind of blends both versions, but it takes on the new timeline - this second takes place about 3 years after Twilight; Bella is still human and attending college with Edward.

I hope you enjoy it - I also thought it was unfair that the second half of STL AU was today's post when it was never intended to be split into two posts, so that will be up in the next few days.

Happy New Year, and I hope 2025 is beautiful for you - manifesting health, happiness, wealth, and just really delicious snack.

--

It’s a while before she sees any of them again in person. She’s doing fine on her own. (They all forget that part of her, that she was alone for twenty years. She was reborn alone, and it has clung to her ever since. Maybe that’s why she was such a shit wife.)

Rosalie reaches out, asking to meet them in Prague, and Alice appreciates that Rose isn’t trying to track her down, burst in her front door like finding her is the key to putting everything back together again. The idea of any of them being in her little house feels kind of threatening; it’s really the first time she’s had her own household.

Before she met Jasper, there were boarding houses or empty houses that she broke into for a day or two. The beach houses and real estate she’d owned with Jasper were still considered part of the family’s portfolio, still watched over by Esme who did all of the maintenance and restoration. This is the first time she’s ever had to manage on her own, and she doesn’t want them to look around and judge it. To see how she’s not as good as Esme at making it a home, that she’s forgotten some obvious detail of playing house as a human.

(Esme would make a lot of comments about decorating, because it’s still very… utilitarian. Most of the props she bought for the kitchen are still in their packages, crammed into the hallway closet. But there’s something very grounding about being a ghost in this house.)

She writes back to Rose that she would like to see her and Emmett, and then she packs for Prague - mostly the clothing she thinks of as her armor because she bought it and wears it exclusively for seeing her family. It’s all timeless styles because she doesn’t have the energy to maintain the wardrobe she used to.

(Apparently a broken heart sucks all the joy out of those things she used to love. But she’s started designing again, started drawing up patterns, so maybe this is just a new era.)

It’s before dawn when she leaves, but there aren’t any neighbours to spy or gossip. She’s the only property on this road. It’s a village that’s slowly disappearing, as the residents die off. She’s treated with indifference, as a foreigner in a town full of people who have known each other for the best part of a century.

//

Rose and Emmett find her in Prague, sitting at a coffee shop with tea in front of her, and Rosalie is genuinely pleased to see her sister again. Alice is a contradiction in every single way Rose can think of; somehow the most steady and consistent of them all whilst being a whirlwind of possibility. Emmett once compared cornering Alice to herding cats, but Rosalie has always privately thought it would be more like catching a hummingbird blindfolded.

But this is not that version of Alice. Emmett has always said that the worst thing was that day she sat down on the couch next to him, rigid and blank. That he never knew how much energy and effort she put into being Alice until it wasn’t worth it to her anymore.

“I guess we should be grateful she didn’t wasn't mad enough to become a supervillain or join the Volturi or something.” Emmett had carelessly said that in the family meeting after she left for France, and it had started an argument big enough to go down in the family’s history.

But Rosalie never forgot it because Emmett was right. If Alice had ever had a taste for doling out consequences and vengeance, she could have brought hell down around them. Hell, Rosalie would probably have encouraged her.

Perhaps this was better though; this calm but guarded monolith of a woman - Rosalie had spoken to Jasper when he returned with the financial records from France, and Alice’s appearance and behaviour had shaken some modicum of realization into him, that this wasn't going to be like every single other time. Rose hadn’t been particularly sympathetic, and pointed out that it had taken Alice sixty years to grow a spine and walk away.

Jasper hadn’t spoken to her for two weeks. Something about Alice now had cut Jasper to the bone, and maybe that was more satisfying than burning everything to the ground.

Alice looks well, her eyes a toffee shade, and her outfit is perfectly on point for the early winter’s day, in shades of black and grey - it just doesn’t look like something she would have worn back in Forks. Rose’s lilac winter coat looks almost childish against Alice’s outfit.

She’s missed her sister.

“Rose!” The smile on Alice’s face is genuine, and she rises to hug her, and then Emmett.

//

Alice is clearly not happy to be blindsided by Jasper and Carlisle’s arrival on the third day, but they move past it. They fill their days together with museums and shopping, Emmett doing a lot of the heavy lifting to fill in silences - especially when Esme pushes a little too hard.

When Carlisle and Jasper do arrive, there is no displeasure expressed, none of the dramatics Rosalie herself would have indulged in. Alice greets them both sweetly; no hugs, but with a quasi warmth in her voice. As the day progresses, not once does Alice make a pointed comment, a little jab in Jasper’s direction, an underhanded joke at her husband’s (oh, Rose has to stop thinking of them like that) behaviour. But this version of Alice, it’s impossible to guess what she’s thinking as they make their way through galleries and museums. There are no lingering looks, no longing gazes, and by the end of the day Rosalie has decided that her sister is behaving like a fucking airline hostess without even a glimmer of independent thought.

(Jasper behaves too, it must be said. He’s very polite, maintains all of Alice’s boundaries in their conversations, and doesn’t even try to touch her. Rose wonders if that’s one of the reasons Alice is dressed in layer upon layer of winter clothing; so that if Jasper reaches out, he still won't be able to hold her.)

It’s not until after the orchestral performance that it all goes to shit because Carlisle really cannot help but champion Edward at every possible moment, as if the harmony they’ve achieved this visit is the foundation for a return to the status quo and not the new world that frankly Rosalie and Esme have worked fucking hard to get to with Alice. But then Carlisle hasn’t been the one gently luring Alice back into contact with cautious emails and texts.

“I understand that this will be controversial,” Carlisle says, as they sit on the balcony of the penthouse Esme has optimistically purchased. It does need a lot of work, and it’s a nice project, but if Alice lives anywhere nearby, she’ll relocate now. “But Bella gave me this to pass along to you.”

Alice’s face goes blank as Carlisle slides the envelope across the table and for a split-second, so quick that Rosalie thinks she might have imagined it, she sees the hurt on Alice’s face at the sudden comprehension that this visit has been hijacked into an attempt at reconciliation.

Rosalie doesn’t even need to look at Jasper; she can feel the anger rolling off him like heat.

“You can return it to her.” Alice’s voice is firm as she slides the letter back towards Carlisle.

“Alice, I understand your anger and I support you making your own way, but both Edward and Bella miss you terribly. We all do. It’s not the same without you around,” Carlisle says earnestly, and Rosalie is fascinated by the reactions of the family - Jasper’s glaring at Carlisle with a look that could kill; Emmett looks dejected at the inevitable blow-up of their visit; Esme is staring at the table top looking upset. “Bella wants to make amends; I know she hopes you’ll be at the wedding in the summer. I promised Bella I would see that you received the letter.”

Alice nods, but her face is guarded as she stares at the letter before picking it up; Jasper flinches like he’s going to take it from her but steadies himself when she looks over.

No one is surprised when the evening ends shortly afterwards; Carlisle is visibly disappointed that Alice doesn’t open the letter in front of them, and the ease of her departure, claiming a red-eye flight back to wherever she’s been holed up (knowing Alice, there will be three separate flights under two different identities so that they can’t find her. There’s always been that streak of paranoia in her sister, one that Carlisle and Jasper both blamed on her nomadic years alone and Rosalie secretly blamed on how many people had let Alice down.)

Rosalie is the only one not surprised when, as Alice walks towards the door with her suitcase in tow, she pauses to rip the envelope in half and then quarters before tossing it in the garbage.

They all stand in silence as the door closes behind her, and Esme whirls around on Carlisle instantly, looking furious.

“She would already know what it said.” Jasper stops the argument in its tracks and Rosalie is grateful; there’s something about watching Esme and Carlisle argue that makes the world feel like it’s off its axis. “She probably saw Bella write it.”

// The invitation feels like an obscenity in front of her. It’s also tacky as fuck. Edward Mason Cullen & Isabella Marie Swan invite you to celebrate their marriage…

She was still invited to their fucking wedding after she binned Bella’s letter. Edward had left a voice mail after that, and it was one of those times she wanted to strangle her brother, to get him to understand that sometimes apologies weren’t enough. Sometimes the damage was too great to rebuild. He’d told her how disappointed he was that she hadn’t accepted Bella’s olive branch.

(Maybe she’d dashed off a text, asking Edward if he’d read the stupid fucking letter. If he knew that Bella’s jumbled thoughts boiled down to her trying to find any way possible to achieve eternal life - or restless death - and stay at Edward’s side forever no matter what the collateral damage was. We can fix this, Bella had written earnestly, as if Alice were equally responsible for the wreckage Bella wrought. Edward had just asked her to consider responding, and she’d blocked him for a week in response.)

When she holds the invitation up, she lets the visions slip into place.

If she accepts, a blue dress so dark its nearly black. More revealing that she would have thought, but with thin straps elaborately criss-crossed across her back, like a net. Charlie Swan is surprised and pleased to see her, and makes some awkward comments that Bella had said they’d fallen out before Alice left. Renee appears, introducing herself and urging Alice to go upstairs and greet Bella, that Bella will be overjoyed Alice chose to attend.

There is a look of confusion and concern when Alice’s ice cold response, “I’ll see the bride after the ceremony,” finds its target. Perhaps she pointedly sits on the groom’s side in the far corner, as far away from Bella’s side as possible.

After the ceremony, photographs. She excuses herself after two - one with the Swans and Cullens, and one with just the Cullens. She pretends not to hear the photographer suggest one of all the women together and stalks off to the reception. Carmen and Eleazer greet her, they speak. She finds a table in a dark corner, and watches proceedings from there. A few Forks High students find her, clearly looking for gossip, and she offers them just enough for Jessica and Angela to side-eye Bella and Jasper for the rest of the night. Petty but satisfying.

Jasper finds her just before the cake cutting, and takes a seat opposite her. And then it blurs and they’re in the woods together, pressed against a tree as he fumbles for his belt and gathers up the skirt of her dress and that jolts her right out of the vision, tossing the invitation onto the table and stalking into the living room, irritation practically rolling off her.

It’s not set in stone - nothing is - but she feels oddly sick that the wedding is going to make her so bitter, so angry, so raw. She’s not sure if what she’s found is peace or apathy, but it’s so much easier than how she was before that giving it up feels like she’s betraying herself and every single moment of the last four years.

[acourtofquestions]

Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

[rakkikuroba]

Do you think Aylin, when she saw Isobel grow weaker and older, thought about giving her immortality to her?

And she stays awake late in bed, her lover sleeping peacefully in her embrace, delicately tracing the wrinkles of her face, reminiscing of smiles and laughter directed to her.

A some sort of sacrifice for her love one. Getting locked up but knowing Isobel will live forever.

[bonebabbles]

When I first read DOTC and got to Star Flower joining Clear Sky’s group, I legit thought she was working to gain trust to either usurp Clear Sky or avenge her dad. I remember being disappointed that she actually ended up as Clear’s mate, and even as a teen I remember feeling weird that she got together with Thunder’s dad even though she was closer in age to his son

If I had a dime for every time someone came to me to share how they read this arc as a kid and were skeeved out by something absolutely horrific but didn't yet have the vocabulary or maturity to phrase it yet, I could pay for a PSA broadcast that says "DOTC IS THE WORST ARC"

[moonytoast-x]

my friend just revealed that she thinks snape was a good person, and she ships snily and now I don't know if we can be friends anymore

[pizzaboat]

Chakotay to Janeway when she asks about what they are: "Some lines shouldn't be crossed."

Like what? Proposing? Marriage? A certificate? Because you've done everything else at one point or another...