#but seriously why does he have the sadness of a Victorian man in his eyes

[jervis-tetch-my-beloved]

why is he looking at me like I stepped on his toes

[echo-of-sounds]

halloween pt.2

Small Halloween drabbles with Fatgum and Gang Orca.

Gang Orca’s focuses more on his anxiety but it’s still in the spirit of Halloween!

Toyomitsu Taishiro - Pumpkin Carving

“Tai!” you shouted, getting his attention from down the dirt path. He glanced back. “This one’s perfect for you! Come here!”

He hurried over, unhindered by the three large pumpkins in his arms. But the one you found was monstrous. It was perfectly round, beautifully orange, and came up past your knee. It was practically screaming his name. 

“Need some help?” he laughed at your attempts to move it.

“Yeah, but can you carry it with all those?”

“It’s no problem.” He easily picked it up and turned around. “Hope on.”

You jumped onto his back. He carried you to the pumpkin patch worker whom you paid. Then he brought you to the car, loaded the pumpkins in, and drove home.

An hour later, the carving kits were open, the supplies laid out for the taking, and the seeds were spread between you on the table, drying for cooking later. Tai placed the timer down, paused at forty minutes. “You ready?”

You popped the cap off your Sharpie. “Are you ready?”

He took the cap in his teeth, blowing it to the floor. “I’m ready to beat you.”

“Then start the timer, big boy.”

At the push of a button, the numbers counted down. 

Tai’s pumpkin was turned from you, hiding his design. You did the same but eyed his smile. He was too positive, too confident. You needed to win for no other reason than to say you won.

After quickly and carefully sketching the design, you took the saw and began carving. He was still happily drawing which gave you some assurance. It didn’t last long though. Carving the creepy cat eyes was a breeze. Shaping each fang in the jutting, high-cheeked Glasgow smile was absolutely terrible. Your fingers cramped, your knuckles stiffened, and your wrist strength dwindled. The last one-fourth might not get done.

But Tai just smiled on, easily carving his pumpkin with his stupid enhanced strength. He winked at you, probably knowing how much you were struggling. It invigorated your hand to keep working.  

You scarcely finished the final touches when the timer beeped. You shook your hand, trying to get some sensations back into your fingers.

“You alright?”

“I’m good. Ready?”

He nodded. “One, two, three.” 

At the count, you both revealed your designs. He carved a cute little owl into his. A few vines and leaves floated around its head. It was really adorable.

“Aww,” you smiled and went over to feel it. The edges were clean and the lines were sharp, flawlessly shaped and cut.

He patted your back. “Does that mean I won?”

“No.” You pulled away. “Mine's scarier. It fits the Halloween theme better.”

“But mine’s cuter and it fits the autumn theme better. I’m pretty sure I won.”

“I don’t think so. My vote’s going to mine.”

“And mine’s for mine.”

“Well…” 

Tai hummed, moving his pumpkin next to yours. The size difference made yours look like a baby, much like when he stood beside you, towering feet above your head, making you feel hobbit-like.

He asked, “If you’re not gonna back down, how're we gonna settle this?”

You leaned on the table, thinking, “Um… sex?”

“Gingerbread houses.” He snapped his fingers. “The store was selling kits beside the pumpkin carving kits. I grabbed some.” 

“People seriously can’t wait until after Halloween?”

“I guess not. Whoever makes the best, most elaborate gingerbread house wins.”

“Deal… then sex?” you smiled.

“Then sex,” he agreed, kissing you.

Gang Orca - Costume Party

The crowd was impressive. As hard as you looked, no orca fin or huge shoulders were insight. Best Jeanist was the next best thing. You went over to him, asking before he picked up a cupcake, “Hey. Have you seen Kugo?”

“I haven’t seen him in awhile. I believe he went upstairs.”

“Thanks,” you sighed and hurried to the stairs, already knowing why he disappeared.

The men’s bathroom door was shut. You lightly knocked, trying to urge Kugo to talk. He seemed to enjoy himself when you first arrived. The work party was filled with friends. You hoped his first Halloween party where he actually dressed up would be fun, casual, and brimming with laughter. But thirty minutes in, his demeanor changed, shifting awkwardly, glancing around at every pair of eyes, every small chuckle. His anxiety ramped up. That was easy to see. Yet he wasn’t responding.

You knocked again. “Kugo, can you open the door? I’m worried.” It cracked open just enough to let you slip inside. Water dripped from his face. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head. You gently touched his cheek, not wanting to be overwhelming, and whispered, “Kugo, please…” 

“I look ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t.” You embraced his side, watching him in the mirror. The vampire costume was standard and simple but also a classic. Plus, the Victorian gothic suit looked beyond attractive on him, highlighting his broad shoulders, hugging his strong waist. “Why do you think that?”

He only stared at his hands, no doubt repeating the self-deprecation in his mind. The judgment in his eyes was sad and obvious.

You softly grasped his fingers, kissing his knuckles, speaking just as softly, “Kugo, honey, talk to me. You were excited about this the other day. You said you were looking forward to dressing up. Can you tell me what changed?”

“They were laughing at me.” He withdrew his hands and felt his face- his nonhuman face. “I should have stayed home. You should be out there having fun, not in here worrying about me.”

“They weren’t laughing at you. They were just laughing. And you certainly don’t look ridiculous because of your mutation.” You held his cheeks, bringing him down so you could kiss his nose.

“I feel foolish.”

“You know you’re allowed to have fun, giant orca man or not? You’re so handsome and your smile when you were talking with everyone was even more handsome. You deserve to dress up and eat sweets and joke around.”

He affectionately nudged your forehead. 

“You missed so much fun and playing around when you were a kid. So let yourself be a kid again, even if it’s just for tonight.”

His tongue graced your nose. You kissed him back. He muttered, “Will you stay beside me for a while?”

“Of course I will.” You took his hand as you opened the door, leading him back out to the party. Out of everyone, he’s earned the right to relax. And you were going to do everything in your power to make sure he enjoyed himself.

[vivithefolle]

What are your favourite fanfic tropes/aus for romione?

(I’m gonna try to make my way through old asks I received AGES ago and never answered because I’m a procrastinating lump. Here’s betting I’m going to give up and play videogames all day instead.)

Oh my god, so many.

Okay so as a rule of thumb as long as it’s nice to Ron I’ll read it. I’ll read anything. I have been known to read Ron/Draco and even sacrificed my dignity and everything I stand for as a human being by reading some Ron/Snape stuff. Yes. I was THAT desperate. This is how low I’m willing to go because of sheer love for Ron.

Which means that when a fic will go “oh poor Hermione, poor Hermione who is waiting for Ron to grow up because She can see one day he could be worth it but for now he’s all dumb-dumb and inferior and doesn’t deserve Her perfection :(”, I will be judging. Judging very hard. I may not leave a comment but rest assured, my thoughts are loud enough for me. This is 2010s mentality. This is “haha I’m so like Hermione, not like other girls who throw themselves at boys, I’m so special and girl powery :)” Horribly Bad Feminism. Fuck that. We’re doing better now.

Speaking of doing better. Recently I read something about how Ron is, paraphrased, “the brute of the Trio”, spun in a positive way since he uses his strength to protect them but, but, still... please no? Just no! Just eff no with these takes about how Ron is a hypermasculine dudebro M For Manly™! No, no, fucking no! Just because he’s the Sulfur to Hermione’s Mercury and Sulfur represents the masculine component to Mercury’s feminine one, DOESN’T MEAN Ron is “the brute”! (”the” brute... seriously... who’s the more brutish one, the one who punches a racist in the face or the one who uses a torture curse as retribution for spitting on his fave teacher?)

The way I see him, Ron is a balance, a blend of feminine and masculine qualities intertwined close together. I LOVE that he can swear like a sailor but can only say “scarlet woman” or “cow” when it comes to insulting a woman. Some will probably see it as “hurr durr he sexist he doesnt think women can take it!!!!!!! >8C” but given that those are probably also the peeps who say “HE CALLE D HERMOANI A NIGHTMURRR!!!!!!! DDDDD8″ I’m gonna venture the idea that we don’t care about those folks’ biased, sexist opinions.

Where was I going with this... oh yes! Ok, so Ron can swear like a sailor yet couldn’t insult a girl to save his life. He’s strong physically but most of all he’s strong mentally (to put up with the way his friends treat him for years speaks a lot of his mental fortitude... and to top it off he comes back for more to boot! I’m not sure if that’s more mental fortitude or straight-up masochism though.) When he succeeds at things he gets a bit attention-whoreish but at the same time, you can see that when he’s being complimented he’s all unsure of himself and blushy and shy and you just, dude you can’t handle positive attention because you don’t know how to react to it I don’t know whether that’s adorable or the saddest thing I’ve seen in my life? He’s insecure but he’s always the first to cheer on Harry and Hermione when they’re doing something great, which speaks VOLUMES of Ron’s selflessness and of his actual character: to quote @peetamaellark​, Ron doesn’t think “Harry is great, therefore he sucks and I hate him”, he thinks “Harry is great, therefore I suck and I hate me”. THIS is Ron. THIS is why Ron will lash out, not because he hates Harry, but because internally he hates himself and you can’t keep that sort of feeling bottled up for too long before... you got it, you explode.

I. Want. More. Fics where Hermione isn’t this ~oh dear~ Victorian damsel in distress who cries and Ron is the Big Strong Man who holds her with one arm and is stony-faced and goes “I’ll protect you”, please no that was old before it existed, let us have nice, realistic depictions of Ron and Hermione please.

Like, Hermione is more than capable of kicking butt herself. She IS absolutely nervous and scared and cries easily and that’s a vulnerability we NEED, but the fact that she can be super scared and crying but still hex her opponent into oblivion? THAT’s good, THAT’s excellent. It’s a very important message for girls, I think. “You can cry, you can be sensitive, you can be emotional, AND you can still kick butt”. And as important as that message is for girls, it’s also a very important message to give boys, because boys are socialized to “never cry” and that’s super unhealthy. I love Ron’s admiration of Hermione. I love the way Ron hesitates, the way he can be cautious when he needs to as much as he can be reckless and impulsive. I love how he shows himself to be a big softie and a sweet soul. I don’t think that makes him an “emasculated doormat” (to quote a guest I once saw on FFN), on the contrary it makes him an even better man in my eyes. You know why I love the locket scene so much? Because Ron’s tears aren’t ridiculed. Ron gets to cry about the terrible ordeal he’s been put through, and while Harry “pretends he can’t see Ron cry” because it’s more comfortable for him personally, he doesn’t try to tell Ron to “man up” or anything. His reassurance is pretty lousy but he lets Ron cry, he lets his friend be upset, and he doesn’t try to invalidate Ron’s pain. (ok, the “I thought you knew” is kiiiiinda on the way there, but it stops at that and I’m grateful for it).

I like. Seeing Ron distressed. I like seeing Ron upset and be allowed to be upset. I like to see Ron’s pain treated with respect. So when Ron is having a shit day I like to see him get a cuddle. I like seeing Ron go through horrible ordeals and break down and for his breakdown to be properly acknowledged and not turned into insensitive comic relief (ISN’T THAT RIGHT, LATTER HALF OF THE SILVER DOE????). I mean seriously, just imagine GOF, Harry sitting in the hospital wing after Cedric’s death, Molly Weasley gives him a hug and it’s all very sad and angsty. And now picture Ginny running into the room screaming “HARRY JAMES POTTER” and punching him over and over and saying “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER” then after two pages of Harry “explaining” himself to Ginny she goes away saying “aight but if you do that shit again you’ll have to answer to me” then Harry’s friends are like “damn she’s spunky huh?” and Harry laughs and everyone laughs and this is how the book ends? How would it be funny? How would it be appropriate? How would it feel like “romance”? When Ron returns in The Silver Doe, he’s been psychologically tortured (”tortured” is the actual word JKR uses, please), we don’t need him to be hurting outside as well.

I want more accountability for Hermione. More “uh hey Hermione maybe don’t do that”. More “hey Hermione you know you think of yourself as a good person buuuut yeah actually if all good persons were like you I’d be very afraid”. More “Hermione please for the love of God educate yourself”. More “Hermione sweetie I love you, but you can’t actually learn everything from books”. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. PLEASE. Don’t be afraid to punch Hermione down and tear her apart the way the best Ron fics maim and torture our poor boy. Just because Rowling treated Hermione with kiddy princess gloves doesn’t mean you have to mimic her.

So when Hermione does a genuinely shitty thing let her own up to it. When Ron is a victim let him be upset and angry, even if Hermione is the one treating him badly. Just because he loves her doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to be disappointed in her or that she’s entitled to his immediate forgiveness. Give Ron and Hermione equal consideration. If you’re brushing off Hermione’s actions but condemning Ron for the slightest mistake, I am sure to hate it.

Okay, uh, so, those aren’t really tropes. Those are more just, guidelines I presume.

Oh, yeah, a trope that annoys me! Ron saying “you’re mine”, “my Hermione” and stuff, and Hermione just swoons and says “yours” and shiz. Ok, once in a while, why not. Once in a while. BUTT. I WANT HERMIONE TO SAY IT TOO. “Mine”, “my Ron!” and Ron swoons and says “yours, absolutely yours”. DO IT YOU COWARDS. FUCKING TAKE THOSE GENDER ROLES AND PUNCH’EM IN THE FACE.

Oh, right, while we’re on the subject of gender roles! Dad!Ron is everything. SingleParent!Ron is mwaaah. Stay-at-home-Dad!Ron is ALKZLDSJDLQSKLFJ <3. AnimalLover!Ron is HHHHNNNGG. Remember, the small gestures, the tiniest, softest acts Ron does (helping Harry get dressed when his arm is deboned, giving Dobby his brand-new sweater, praising Ginny, Luna and Neville when they escaped Umbridge), those are often those unremarkable, unmistakeably kind and sweet actions that tell us who Ron really is at his core: not a guy who’d want power at all costs, not a guy who’d give it all for ambition, not a guy who sees people as possessions, but someone kind who wants to make others happy.

Ok, I was also asked for AUs, so, uh, pretty much every AU is game as long as Ron gets treated with respect? I mean I don’t really care for Mafia!AUs or such but if you can find a way to fit good Romione then go for it I guess. Royalty AU, yeah why not but I often see Ron being made a prince while Hermione is a poor wee servant girl and like. Uuum, we’re talking about the same characters here? Hermione the highly educated girl who keeps on walking over everyone’s toes and loudly talking about how things should be done and is definitely Nouveau Riche, Ron who is a country boy who lives on a farm and is lost in the constant shuffle of his brothers, you think she should be the peasant and he should be the royal? Whaddafack? Oh, and all the “Hermione is a Muggle, Ron is a wizard” AUs that start this way BUTT! Suddenly... Hermione... turns out... to be (wait for it!)... A WITCH! And a super powerful super talented very good one too!!!... yeah ok, yawn. It’s quite scary, actually, how often I’ve seen that plotline, but in the rare cases when it’s Muggle!Ron and Witch!Hermione, Ron never ever EVER (I mean, seriously, NEVER EVER) turns out to have been a wizard, not even a mediocre one, all along. No, when Ron is made a Muggle for the sake of AU he stays a Muggle. But when Hermione is made a Muggle she has to turn out TO HAVE BEEN A WITCH ALL ALONG OMYGAH. I can count on one hand the number of Mugglemione/Wizardron fics that actually stick to their Mugglemione premise till the end - and usually they’re one-shots. (Also I don’t mean “Ron mistakes Hermione for a Muggle because he meets her in the Muggle world and assumes he must hide his magic from her, oh wait she was actually a witch!” fics, I mean genuinely “Hermione has been raised a Muggle her whole life, never had weird things happen to her her whole life ever, then Ron comes in and is a wizard and he does magic and Hermione wonders what it’d be like to be a witch and oh surprise! Don’t worry Hermione, you won’t have to feel not-special or mundane for long, here comes the plot contrivance to tell you you really were in fact the specialest of them all!!” fics.) Fairytale!AU is cool. Very good. But honestly I like to see them swapped around. Ron cursed by a nasty fae to be a Beast and Hermione stumbling upon him? Neat, especially if you don’t go the boring route of “oh let’s just rehash the Disney/the original book with different names and call it a day”. But Hermione cursed by an asshole fae for, let’s say, not sharing books, turning into a Beast, and Ron stumbling upon her as she’s trying to survive in the woods (and not doing a very good job of it)? Yes, brava, chief’s kiss. Rapunzel AU where Hermione’s bushy hair turns into the most impractical, most suffocating improvised ladder ever for Ron? Hilarious. Rapunzel AU where Ron has A GIANT EFFING PONYTAIL OF THE GODS and is screaming “ow ow ow” as Hermione makes her way up to his window cringing and saying “sorry! sorry! sorry! (damn his hair smells good)” on every step? Equally hilarious. Go! Be creative! Please I beg of you

Creature!fics! Oh my god there’s not enough of those, at least that aren’t focused on a bullshit pairing! Soulmate AUs! Give me everything! I’ll even take A/B/O if you insist on making it Romione! That’s how far I’ve fallen from human decency I’ll take anything just give me some good Ron content please I beg of you (Ah and to those that are going to say “Alpha Ron Omega Hermione :)))” well yes, but actually no. “Beta Ron Beta Hermione”? “Beta Ron Alpha Hermione”? “Omega Ron Alpha Hermione”??? HELL YEAH NOW WE’RE TALKIN)

Oh dear god I’m still not finished and I haven’t gone through everything someone stop me.

AND NOW BE CAREFUL CHILDREN, BELOW WILL BE SMUT.

Okay I don’t know if it qualifies as a trope, but. But. A more realistic depiction of Ron is usually what I’m after. All those fanfics that have Ron be “the sexy experienced one ;)))” ravishing “naive virginal Hermione ;))” is just UGH. We spent all the 2000-2010 period having fics like this, mind adding a bit of EQUALITY to the mix???

It’s just... I hate it okay? So many fics read like they’re just projection, writers who are essentially making Ron their big strong sex toy stud who's so attentive and sweet and cherishing, and so it does indirectly ends up as "servant Ron is so devoted to his goddess Hermione, providing pleasure to her while she doesn’t have to lift a finger”. The Dom!SexGod!Ron thing honestly depresses me... Since it's Ron taking care of Hermione, AGAIN. Like, he spends his WHOLE LIFE doing that already. Can we give him a break for once?

In the endI feel that it's less "Romione smut" and more "self-inserting into Hermione smut". In "real" Romione smut I think Ron and Hermione would switch roles according to what they feel like. And honestly I ALWAYS picture Ron being super nervous during Dom stuff, like he spanks her once then immediately he goes "oh my god are you okay?? did that hurt, do you want to stop?", things like that. I cannot imagine it happening any other way. XD Ron is just... too caring, too sensitive to do stuff like hard BDSM and that kind of thing in my opinion. He’s too much of a caretaker. I understand if it’s your kink and you’re perfectly free to project and write the fic you want, I’m not the fun police, but it’s just... I don’t think that’s really what Ron would be like. I just want MORE realistic Ron.

Also I’m trying really really hard to not point fingers here but WHY is it that it’s always “Ron growled” while it’s always “Hermione whimpered” or “Hermione moaned”? Like... you know it’s okay for a man to moan or whimper in pleasure too, right?  You know Ron isn’t 110% muscles and testosterone? You know Hermione is allowed to be fierce too? Hermione can 100% “growl” and be dominant and pin Ron to the wall and reduce him to a puddle of goo if you’re brave enough?

(Honestly how sexy would Ron think that is? The woman he loves is half his size yet can pin him down and ravish him. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG RON HAS WANTED TO BE RAVISHED AND CHERISHED DO YOU KNOW HE’S BEEN WANTING THIS ALL HIS LIFE)

Oooo-kay, so that’s... mostly it, I reckon. Oh also Ron has a gigantic penisraise kink (and a great penis too, but mostly a praise kink). That’s canon and that’s all.

[moodysnowflake]

Hello there!

Warning guys, nasty SPOILERS ahead, both of FFVII (+ Remake) and FFVII Crisis Core.

The severity of spoilers is arguable, it depends on the level of involvement you have or you got in the series, so please be aware that what you're stepping onto might be a wildflower lawn as much as a war minefield.

I saw, read and heard a lot of people complaining about Cloud's dancing scene/minigame, grumbling about how:

1. Stupid it was;

2. Degrading it has been;

3. Zack would have been disappointed.

Let's take it in strides, shall we?

1. Stupid? I'd rather say silly, more than stupid. Stupid means doing something that you've no idea how/why you're doing. FFVII never made that a mystery: there was a goofy vibe in the original too, and that was on purpose. You couldn't handle the story otherwise, it would just have been a mess of violence, death, tears and blood. Light moods are needed for you to recuperate, recharge batteries and balance. Otherwise, we all would've ended up like Sephiroth.

Character perspective wise, Cloud might not have understood from the beginning (as much as I love him to the bottom of my essence, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer - that's also why Sephiroth can do what the fluff he wants) what the hell Aerith roped him into, but when he gets the idea he accepts it (in his very Cloud way) and faces it with one of the most determined look he has ever sported. He's willing to let himself be dragged on and about the stage by Andrea, because he knows this is for Tifa, so it doesn't matter if he has to shake is ass in front of a bunch of strangers. He never really cared about his reputation since Crisis Core; he doesn't care about what people think, he's doing it for the woman he loves (shut your trap, he loves her as much as she loves him, he just needs time to untangle himself from his nightmares - and someone smacking him on the head really hard).

Secondly, player perspective wise, is it really such a stupid section? How many did manage to get a perfect score on the very first try? Camera speed, moves and angles pulled some interesting stunts, didn't they? Tricking your depth perception, together with the lights going bananas. Even if they weren't; everything has been coordinated and perfectly synced with the music. If you'd refrained for two seconds from blabbering insults you would have noticed that you could've actually used lights as another cue to help you sync, with the music and Cloud's movements. It's called peripheral vision, you need to expand your focus as much as you can and split it both on the background and the forefront. That gives your brain the capacity to better throw information at you so you can react faster, 'cause you're actively trying to remain perceptive of your surroundings too. Just like in battles.

If that shooting dynamic would have been present during battle, nobody would have survived, not even a doomrat.

2. Talking about degrading. Did Cloud strip naked? Did he have to put on a honeybee outfit? As much as he was very uncomfortable, Andrea (a.k.a. the game) pushed him only up to the limit that still felt secure enough and over which it could have been really perceived as abusive. Andrea could have done that and Cloud would still have obliged (because Tifa) but his objective was not humiliating him. He wanted to play with the dangerous SOLDIER, over which he, paradoxically, even for a tiny bit, had the power and control. Still, he didn't overdo nor overuse it (that is some good representation of a BDSM Dom, btw).

Moreover... I mean... Did you really look at him? Those were not exactly noobs moves, he nailed that too (but that's something I'll talk about next).

About the dresses: are you seriously complaining about them? I admit that the black/white one is not exactly the best (but it's your fault for ditching all Wall Market's quest... you had it coming), and I prefer the blue corset one over the lilac/black silk.

Point is: you have to sneak a guy who's built like a fucking BRICK WALL into Corneo's audition. How in the ever-loving hell are you supposed to do it? The only things playing in Cloud's favor are his facial features and his height: he's the smoothest skin I've ever seen, light jaws and is compact enough not to stand out too much among average-height girls, but that's it. He has shoulders and muscles for days. You have to cover him as much as you can, and how would you do that, if not with a broad gown, puff-sleeves, and a corset? If you're wondering about the chocker/high neck+thick necklace: it covers the Adam's apple, genius... And all the frilly, shiny laces of the lilac dress and the extensions are needed to divert the attention from his neck, clavicles and forearms, otherwise, you'll notice the buff.

That's why he had to look like a Victorian maiden.

Putting him in a catsuit, with latex or leather stretching over every inch of skin, or a sundress, with arms and legs on display... That would have been a bad idea.

Andrea is talking about not being afraid, and that's an awesome message: if you feel comfortable and beautiful, why not doing it? If you're happy, do it. It's not your problem if other people are insecure about themselves and try to pick on you because they're afraid and, most of all, jealous of your confidence, identity, and fortitude. They're just disrespectful and sad, and you should avoid them like the plague.

And again, Cloud doesn't seem that much fazed about it. I think he's more annoyed than anything; having to move in that huge-ass skirt, squeezed in a corset which is not letting you breathe and turn around would make everyone who's not used to it lose their shit. Women or men, regardless, it's a pain either way, especially if you're a fighter and need to move freely. Also, if you notice, the heels he's put in are not that much higher than his combat boots... Sure, they're thinner, but that's why he's not wobbling like a newborn calf. Did you see him swaying through the streets? That was some awesome heel-walking.

What ended me was how he was moving after he woke up. Have you seen how completely ungraceful he is, and at the same time fluidly stands to check on Aerith and doesn't trip over his own feet? In a dress like that, being that agile is shamefully amazing. Then, he swings like he's in the SOLDIER uniform, spine blocked because of the corset, moving his center of gravity too much because of too broad steps, awkwardly bobbing, switching too much weight from feet to feet, getting his stance rigid. That's precious. And hilarious af.

He has to held still as much as he can to try and convey the feeling of being scared, but we know he's just trying really hard not to wreak havoc in the audition room and slaughter everyone.

(Despise lighting, which being warm oriented would have mingled with the blue of his irises and shift them to green, I still believe that in that scene his eyes were going mako. In some millisecond-split moments, they seem to really flash out. That's hella relatable: you're using all your self-control not to cut open the scumbag who's lusting and sniffing and drooling and being awful to your friends. Plus, you're being groped and talked down too? The only thing you can do is look, and boy does he Glare™

(Cloud is not afraid/disgusted of other men touching him, but people seem to forget it. He just doesn't want Corneo to touch him. He doesn't move when Andrea touches his lips nor react when he swings him around in the dress, he doesn't move when Biggs pats him on the head on the pillar (I bet he would give everything to have Zack do that again, just one more time...dammit [I know what happens in the final cutscene of the Remake, but the post below this one explains why I think this]), he doesn't pull away when he grabs his hands, and not only he grabs it back, but grasps with the other one too. [Captain Levi vibes, anyone?])

He didn't have control over his eyes and I firmly think he didn't even intend to; he let them glow on purpose, just because that was the only thing he could unleash and nobody would have noticed.)

Cloud dancing is not stupid, nor offensive. Cloud is a loyal, caring friend, who doesn't have prejudices and is comfortable (as much as he can be) with his sexuality and identity that he's not questioning it nor getting scared (and violent) at the situation.

Do I have to dance and dress like a woman to help my girl? If it's the best way, so be it. She needs my help, I'm not gonna let her down. Gonna be a pain in the ass to fight, but I'll manage. I'm not that insecure of myself that a dress is going to make me have an existential crisis.

If you're a man or a male, and your friend/lover/person you cherish would ever be in a life-threatening situation (and this is, 'cause if they were on their own, they would have died), and the only option would be for you to dance and put on a dress to save them, but you refuse because you have to dance and it's a dress... Just a fucking dress... Well... You're not that decent of a friend, nor human being...

3. So. About Zack. If you think he would've been disappointed/disgusted... Are we talking about the same character? 'Cause I think we're not.

Zack Fair, SOLDIER 1st class (previously 2nd), 6 foot and a ladder, black hair, blue eyes, scar on his left jaw. Droll af?

Just because he's a legend, a powerful, passionate and strong-willed person, doesn't mean he couldn't be a quirky dumbass.

The first line said to him in Crisis Core is "Get serious" by Angeal... Angeal who described him to his mother as a PUPPY.

The same guy who jostled his mentor, a fucking SOLDIER 1st class, in front of their boss, when he knew he recommended him.

The same guy who tried to get Aerith on a date after 5 minutes.

The one who grabs a parasol to fight troopers without breaking a sweat.

The one who faked defeat by sixth-grade-Yuffie in Wutai.

The one who dances with the Cactua he summons?

When Angeal discusses the plan and tells him to charge the front gate of Wutai on the first game mission, he's jumping like an over-excited dog.

And, most importantly, the only living being who actually managed to:

- Make Sephiroth care (after Hollander with implanted Jenova cells escapes, he tells Zack Genesis’ copies had been seen in the slums... And with that frigging Knowing™ look, and a smirk, he tells him "Permission to return... Granted", Seph's gentlemanly way to say 'I know you have a girlfriend down there, you should go check on her':

Then Sephiroth says goodbye first

And fucking smiles (Zack wasn’t able to see it ‘cause he was already walking away)

- Yell at him over the phone and live;

- Pull a GENUINE laugh out of him. When they're trying to locate Angeal and Genesis, Sephiroth calls him. The conversation goes as:

S:"You and I are gonna find them [Gen & Angie] before they [Shinra] do, and..."

Z:'And WHAT?!?!' *angry bark, to which Sephirot pulls the phone away*

S:"...Fail to eliminate them"

Z:'For real?!'

S:"[AMUSED HUFF] Yes, for real" *playful mocking of Zack's words*

Okay, that was a huff, BUT STILL... Not even Sephiroth (when he was still a human being...because yes, he was, and a pretty decent one too) was immune to his Puppy Dog Energy. Look. At. That. Smile.

So this is what I think.

The only thing Zack would be disappointed about would've been Cloud not dancing enough.

Heck, he would've jumped on the stage as soon as given the signal and dragged Cloud along, yelling in his face to be heard over the music "This is gonna be great! Let's show them what a SOLDIER can do! We're gonna put all these cute bees to shame!" ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Then again... If Zack would've been there...if we think about it, a part of Zack was there.

During his childhood and infantry training, I seriously doubt Cloud had any occasion to dance or learn how to do it.

Plus, he couldn't have done it during his 4-years mako-comatose state.

This doesn't leave that many options.

It is very likely that, like his fighting ability, his dancing moves were coming from Zack's memories too.

In a way, we can say that Zack, in the end, was there on stage with him.

Gosh, I'm gonna cry so much... ಥ_ಥ

[eirian-houpe]

The Library Beneath the Clock Tower - Chapter 52

Read previous chapters on AO3

Chapter 52 - Welcome Home

To his credit, Gold apologized as he walked with Belle the short distance to the library, but Belle shook her head.

���Even though I don’t think violence is the answer,” she said, “I can understand why you acted the way you did. He’s the man that split up your family, and it’s one thing to come between a man and the woman he loves, but a man and his child?”

Gold shook his head, as he held open the library door for her, not to argue, she soon learned, but in a sad kind of agreement. “Milah was just as responsible for our separation as he was, maybe even as I was, who knows, but Bae… yes, he took Bae from me, and for that I will never forgive him.”

They walked through the library, each falling to relative silence, lost in their own thoughts until they reached the connecting door, where Gold stopped and gestured.

“I’ll have bolts or a deadlock put on here, just to be sure,” he said.

Belle sighed, “Isn’t there anything you can do?” She gestured to the pocket in which she knew he’d put the papers Jones had given him. “To keep the apartment, I mean.”

Gold scoffed a little before he said, “I doubt it. I didn’t have much time to go through it line by line, but what I saw was quite open and shut. However,” he said with a sly expression entering his eyes as they mounted the stairs to the apartment. “I can probably delay, and keep him tied up in red tape for quite some time.”

“Oh?” Belle asked, an uncertain frown on her face.

“The apartment may well be his, by rights, but the furnishings - those belong to me, and most of them are antiques of varying ages. I have inventory for all of the pieces in my ledgers at the shop. I’m certain the dollar amount of everything in that apartment is… quite substantial. Quite possibly worth more than the apartment itself. He’d have to either pay me for the furnishings, or give me adequate time to have them safely removed, and 24 hours is certainly not enough time for that to happen. If he pushes the matter, I’ll simply take him to court to petition for more time. If he wants to take the apartment, furnishings and all, he’ll have to send in an independent appraiser - because I doubt he’d take my word for the value of the pieces, so…”

He waited while Belle put the key into the lock and opened the door, turning to invite him in. He stepped across the threshold then and finished, “If you really don’t want to leave—”

“I meant what I said,” she cut him off. “If this place belongs to him, then I don’t want to spend a single night here.”

She entered the bedroom as she spoke, and from beneath the bed pulled out two large suitcases, which she lifted onto the bed and opened up.

“Where will you go?” Gold asked from the doorway.

“I don’t know,” she answered, pausing in folding the clothing she had taken from the dresser and putting it into one of the suitcases. “Back to Granny’s at first, I suppose, until I can find a new place to live.”

“There’s always my house,” he told her softly.

“What?” she answered, startled. “No… No, I—”

“Why not?” he asked, sounding as if he had just made the most reasonable suggestion in the world that she had just rejected out of hand. “I got you into this mess in the first place, did I not?”

“But I… we…” she stammered.

“Belle,” he said patiently, “I live in a large, salmon Victorian on one of the quieter streets in Storybrooke. If you’re worried about appearances, I probably have enough rooms to comfortably house a small family, so you could certainly have a room and a bathroom all to yourself.” Then after a short pause, added, “If that’s what you want.”

She stared at him for a moment, swallowed, and then weighed everything in her mind. She wanted the chance to get to know him better, and it seemed that fate was offering her the perfect opportunity, but she didn’t want to push him, like before, and risk pushing him away.

“Listen.” He must have seen her hesitation, because he stepped just inside the bedroom door, half reaching for her, his hands open in an expression of honesty and almost supplication. “If you hadn’t come to me today, I was planning on calling round to see you anyway.”

“Why?” she asked, feeling like that was a perfectly reasonable question to put before him.

“Because…” he sighed, “I realized how wrong I’d been to push you away, when all you were trying to do was to get closer, to let me in, and show me your feelings.” He paused for a moment, looking at her seriously. “I want to make amends for that, Belle, because as much as I was hiding from the truth that day, I can’t hide from it forever.” He pressed his hands against his chest as he next spoke. “I feel… for you…” he extended his hands to her again, as before, then continued, “the same way that you feel for me, and… and I’d really like to show you how much that… how much you mean to me.”

A smile, small at first, but then growing larger by the moment spread across her face, and abandoning her already interrupted packing, she came to him and took his hands.

“A Victorian, you say?” she asked, looking up at him, and he nodded.

“Four bedrooms, two and a half baths, antique furnishings throughout and even a spinning wheel in the basement,” he said.

“Does it work?” she asked him.

“It does,” he confirmed.

“You spin?” she asked, surprised at that, although she knew from somewhere inside that she shouldn’t be.

“I do,” he said with a cheeky twinkle in his eyes. “I’ve even been know to work with the yarn I make from it, from time to time.”

“You knit?” Her tone of surprise grew stronger yet, and he nodded to her, his head turned slightly sideways.

“I can,” he told her, “though I mostly use the yarn for weaving.”

She smiled then, the picture he painted filling her with a great warmth that she couldn’t explain, and didn’t really want to. It painted a picture of domesticity that she longed to share with Lennox Gold, and on that thought, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and stood on tiptoes to kiss him.

“Do I take it that’s a yes?” He teased, “that the yarn-crafts were the deciding factor?”

“No, silly,” she said, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow “I mean, yes… I’ll happily accept your offer to move in with you, but it wasn’t the yarn-crafts that did it?”

“What then?” he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

“You’ll think I’m deranged?” she said warily, but he shook his head, and leaning his forehead against hers for just a moment, murmured that he never would. “Because,” she went on, “ever since that night at the bonfire, I feel as though I’ve known you before, for a long time, and… I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he breathed, and cupped her face between his hands, bringing his lips to brush against hers.

“Now isn’t that touching,” Jones’ sarcasm cut through the moment, and a second set of booted footsteps could be heard mounting the steps behind him.

“Mister Jones,” Gold greeted him coolly, adding another greeting as the second man entered the apartment, “Sheriff Humbert.”

“Mister Gold,” the sheriff returned the greeting, looking around as he came through to the bedroom doorway.

Gold kissed Belle softly on the cheek, and then gently propelled her back toward the bed, so that she could continue her packing, though she kept half an ear on the conversation.

“Mister Jones asked that I come as a witness to his tenant packing and leaving the apartment as per the eviction notice,” Humbert said, in a professional tone.

“Well, that is interesting, Sheriff,” Gold said, “because actually Miss Marchland is my tenant here, and although Mister Jones is clearly within his rights, as the new owner of the apartment, to ask her to vacate, I’m afraid I won’t be relinquishing the keys just yet.” The sheriff frowned, confused, and Jones spluttered incomprehensibly before Gold went on to say, “You see, the apartment may belong to Mister Jones, but I’m afraid the furnishings, the antique furnishings belong to me and Mister Jones and I have yet to discuss terms, either of their sale to him as the new owner, or of my right to the time to have them removed, as is appropriate for furnishings of an age such as they are.”

He smiled at Jones, a smile that clearly did not even touch the top of his cheekbones let alone his eyes, and Belle bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing at the tomato that was suddenly atop Jones’ shoulders.

“Now just a minute, mate!” Jones began, but the sheriff shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Mister Jones, but Mister Gold is quite within his rights to have adequate time to remove his property.”

“Unless of course you’d like to make an offer,” Gold added. “I can provide you with the names of several expert appraisers, or you could find one of your own, whichever you’d like.”

Jones pointed a finger in Golds direction, and Belle saw humiliation and fury in his expression as he said. “This isn’t over, Cuckold!”

“Quite right, dearie,” Gold purred, “at least… not until I say so.”

Jones stormed out, and the sheriff rolled his eyes, just a little as he caught Belle’s gaze, and she gave him an almost apologetic smile before he hurried off after the departing man, leaving her once more along with Gold.

“You maybe baited him just a little too much?” Belle suggested, coming over to lay a soft hand on Gold’s arm.  It was rigid with tension, and she wished she could do something to make him feel better, to help distract him from the sudden appearance of the unwelcome shadow from his past.

In the end it was Gold that managed to distract her spiraling thoughts.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, almost startling her from them, and when she looked at him quizzically he gestured toward the two cases that were on the bed, awaiting their cargo.

“Oh, um… there are books,” she told him, and handed him a large, empty tote bag. “My own personal books. They’re in the lounge, on that small bookshelf by the door.” He raised an eyebrow then, and chuckling she added, “Don’t worry, there aren’t that many.”

He offered her a smile and then went to do as she asked and pack up the books. She continued her own packing, her mind still tumbling thoughts around like stones in a polishing  machine. One thought in particular seemed to keep rising to the surface. Jones had spoken of the mayor as if she were somehow complicit in the whole situation.

Belle had known for some time that Regina Mills had it in for her, and knew she would be reveling in the thought that Jones arrival would make her homeless, so that the mayor could make good on her threat to fire Belle. After all, hadn’t she said that the Town of Storybrooke could not appoint a ‘vagrant’ to her position in the library.

She glanced through the doorway at Gold, who was still carefully packing the books into the bag she had given to him. Her breath caught a little in her chest at the sight of him and at the thought that he had quite generously offered her a home - her own room in his house, if she wanted it, but… she didn’t want it. She didn’t care how fast it seemed. She was happy to make a home with Gold, and happier still at the thought of being in his bed.

With both of them packing up Belle personal effects into the few bags and boxes she could find - a few of which Gold volunteered to go down to the library to fetch - it didn’t take long before she was ready to leave. Even as excited as she was to be entering into the new adventure, something ‘real’ as Ruby had told her to find, she still felt a pang of sadness as she looked around the apartment one last time.

Gold called an associate to come and transport the bags, so, for the time being, Belle had only an overnight bag containing essentials - nightwear, her toiletries, and something to wear in the morning… and of course, her favorite book.

**

Climbing from Gold’s car as he pulled onto the driveway of his, now their, home she took in the sight of the house. In the late afternoon, it looked more of a mauve color than salmon pink, as he’d describe it. Exquisitely kept, she could only imagine what it would be like on the inside.

She didn’t have long to wait and see if her imagination had even come close.

Taking her bag from her, Gold rested his hand in the small of her back and guided her gently up onto the porch, and then, after unlocking the front door, invited her into the house with a quiet, “Welcome home.”

Home.

The word had never sounded so good to her ears, nor so right. She turned almost full circle, taking everything in as Gold moved past her to set her bag on the small landing at the turn in the stairs; in front of the stained glass.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured, earning a soft smile from Gold as he reached for her hand and led her further into the house.

“It lacks the presence of a woman,” he answered, then as they reached the kitchen, he turned and took her into his arms. “Until now,” he finished softly.

Belle couldn’t help but blush softly, before running her hands upward over his lapels to rest over his shoulders, her fingers clasped behind his neck.

“I’m happy to be here, Lennox, truly,” she murmured, and teased at the back of his neck just a little, with the tips of her fingers, and felt him shiver against her. It brought a faint smile to her lips, mirrored in his own, before they shared a soft, almost tentative kiss.

“Perhaps we should eat something first,” he suggested, his voice thick with desire as their lips came apart. “There’s some soup in the fridge. It wouldn’t take long to heat it.”

**

If their kiss in the kitchen had been tentative, then whatever restrained them was shed with their clothing as they reached the bedroom. Lips met, hands caressed and bodies moved as one as they treasured each other with the whole of their being. She felt as though her heart beat in his chest, and his in hers; his breath filled her lungs, and when at last they joined as one body, she all but wept at the rightness of it. In time. In place. It was perfection, and when, at last, they lay, spent, in each other’s arms, and sleep claimed them, it was with the utmost trust that they rested.

Forever in a single moment.

She woke the following morning long after dawn. She couldn’t see that it was so late in the day for the thick curtains that hung across the windows; a deep, almost royal red. Still, she felt the lateness of the hour down to the core of her body, as if it were somehow a part of the world itself.

She sat up, drawing the covers with her, though there were none to shock with her nakedness, and in spite of the lateness at which she and Gold had finally drifted to sleep - so wrapped up in each other that it was not possible to tell where each of them became a separate being - she felt rested. She felt better than she had in a long while.

It was not long until she had showered, and dressed for the day, and headed downstairs to find Gold.

When she entered the kitchen, Gold smiled, folded and set down the Storybrooke Daily Mirror and came to his feet to greet her with a hug and a light kiss, before guiding her to a place at the kitchen table before he set about serving her breakfast.

“You should have woken me,” she told him with a smile. “I could have helped you with all this.” She gestured at the table, where toast sat in the rack, with fresh butter in one dish, and what looked like home made jelly in another, and from the stove-top was lifting freshly cooked sausage, bacon, and scrambled eggs onto a fine farmhouse plate.

“And deprive me the opportunity to cook breakfast for you?” he asked, teasing just a little.

She harrumphed playfully, and reached out to at least pour herself a cup of tea, and to refresh his own. There was a third cup on the tray beside the sugar pot and milk jug, and as Gold brought over the plates that contained their breakfast, she raised a querying eyebrow, certain that he was ‘playing dumb’ when he mirrored the action.

She nodded her head toward the extra cup. “Expecting someone to join us?” she asked.

Gold sighed, then admitted, “As a matter of fact, yes. Leroy will be calling by to collect me. He and I have an appointment, a job to do that cannot be delayed any longer.”

Belle’s eyebrow raised even higher, then dipped into a serious frown. “That sounds ominous,” she said. “Why have you been putting it off?”

He sighed again, and then reached for her hands, which he took gently into his own.

“I’m glad you came to me yesterday,” he began, “I would have been glad even without the unwelcome appearance of Killian Jones, and the… very much welcome outcome of that encounter.” He lifted her fingers to his lips to kiss them tenderly, sending a shiver through Belle, as the memory of what he did the previous night with those kisses flowed from the almost innocent morning caresses. “But the truth of the matter is that if you had not come to me, I would have come to you. I realized I should, no, that I must. I couldn’t lie to myself - nor to you - any longer.”  He leaned closer then, and tightening his grasp on her fingers just a little more, said, “But now I feel I must apologize, and… and it saddens me that our relationship - or at least what I hope will become our relationship, must begin like this.”

“Lennox, what are you talking about?” she asked, confusion creasing her face, “Like what? Why do you think you need to apologize to me? Why now?”

“Because what I must do - with Leroy’s help - is something that I know you aren’t going to like.”

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 41)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:1516

Warnings: Language, mentions of being choked, fluff and mentions of smut song for this part: Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a moment, it seemed like no time had passed, and yet it felt that you’d been out for hours. When you finally woke, Shannon was still out and so was Loki. Before panic could overtake you again, Bruce saw you were awake. Clearly, it’d been long enough for Tony and Steve to clear the room. 

“Woah, hey, are you good?” Bruce asked as he walked over and put a hand on your shoulder, helping steady you. 

“Yeah.. yeah.. Are they okay?” you asked, nodding towards them.

“They’re going to be… Long story short, Shannon’s powers were activated while she was at Strange’s with Loki. They used him to antagonize her and she sort of… hurt him…” 

Your eyes bulged. Your mind was just about to snap at this news. 

Shannon...hurt...Loki? Why?

Your blood boiled, your mind raced. You tried to fight yourself from going over there and completely going nuts on Shannon, but with each ticking second of seeing Loki lying on the bed next to you, it got harder to hold the beast back. 

“She...what?” you demanded in almost a hiss.

Bruce suddenly saw the change in your nature. “Y/N/N, now… it’s okay. He was supposed to--”

“Supposed to wind up in a hospital bed?!” you screamed, your fingers electrifying with purple sparks. Unless Bruce wanted to Hulk out, he couldn’t contain you. Right now, everyone in this room was at your mercy. 

You jumped off the table, ready to tear into Shannon. Ready to make her pay for what she'd done. As soon as your feet hit the floor, purple sparks washed over your entire body, your hair beginning to fly around you. 

But before you could go any farther, Loki woke up, unbeknownst to you. Your focus was solely on the woman one bed over from him. Immediately, Loki saw you and he scrambled up.

“Y/N, Y/N,” he eased, seeing your state. He wanted to touch you, but your powers were creating a surface effect. If he put his hands on you, he could get shocked to the other side of the room. “Darling,” he coaxed, standing in front of you. “Look at me, focus on me. What’s wrong?”

“She hurt you,” you stated, your eyes not leaving her form. 

“No, no… Well, she did, but she didn’t mean to. I did it on purpose. I had to,” he informed, trying to get you to look at him. 

Finally, his words registered in you and you snapped back to reality, your powers subsiding. “What? Why?”

“They said they needed my help. They wanted one end of my emotions… then they wanted me to trigger her to get a response so they could help her… Her powers overtook her and she began choking me…” 

You nodded slowly. “And her?”

“Her powers drained her,” Bruce piped up from behind you. You turned to him. 

“So… what does this mean?”

“It means both of them need rest. You wanna take Loki down to his bed?” he suggested. 

“Actually… I have some place better,” you realized. “Loki, do you mind waiting for me outside?” you asked. 

“Certainly, darling,” he assured. He stepped over to you and kissed your forehead before letting you go. You walked up beside Shannon and peered down at her.

“I hope you feel better… You don’t deserve any of this,” you said, your voice sad before you leaned down and kissed her forehead. A gentle smile touched your lips as you gripped her hand. Your face shot towards Bruce. “You keep her safe, and healthy, do you understand?”

“Aye, aye,” Bruce said with a small wave of his hand and a faint smile. 

With a final nod, you met with Loki, grasping his hand, as the two of you walked out of the tower together -- finally free. 

-----------------------------

“Where are we going?” Loki questioned, curiosity in his voice. 

“You’ll see,” you stated with an air of mystery. 

“Being rather mischievous, aren’t you?” he inquired. 

“That’s your job,” you teased. 

This feeling of ease was… new, and fantastic. Walking the streets of your home city with the man you loved… How perfect could things get for you? 

You were tense, though, awaiting the second someone recognized one of you, and the shitstorm began. But so far, no one even knew you two existed. 

Finally, you arrived where you needed. 

“Why are we here?” Loki asked, starting to wonder seriously about why he wasn’t back in his cell. 

“I want to show you something here,” you told him once you stepped out of the elevator and onto the floor. You walked down nearly ten doors, and found the one you were looking for. You took a deep breath, and stuck the key in the door, turning it to unlock it. 

The door swung open thanks to the push you gave it, and you leaned in and flicked on the lights. 

“Ta-da!” you feebly announced, gesturing towards the spacious apartment. 

Loki peered inside, his eyes going over different surfaces before he finally asked, “What is this?”

You bit your lip before walking inside. “This is our home,” you informed. 

His eyes flashed to you. “Our...Our home?” he asked, almost as if he were in disbelief.

Nodding, you said, “Yeah. Um, see Shannon and I picked out this apartment right before you and I met. She kept it, since she thought I would come home. When I got let out on parole, she told me I could stay here, but I didn’t want to leave you. She helped me redecorate the place these last few months. If I wasn’t at work, or with you, I was here. Shannon moved most of her stuff out, to make room for things you might want. But… this is all ours,” you explained with nervous hope.

His eyes went back to scanning the place while you spoke, but then he wasn’t responding. 

“Say something?” you requested. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” he asked, making you even more anxious. He walked towards you and put his hands on your shoulders. “My beloved… I… I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with you, have a home with you. Since we’ve been together, we’ve been caged, forbidden from leaving confines. To have a space that is ours? A private dwelling? This is perfect. It’s the best gift you could’ve given me.”

Grinning like a fool, you hugged him tightly. “Oh, I’m so glad you like it! We’ve spent so much time making everything perfect. Let me show you around.” 

Taking his hand, you lead him to the kitchen, showing him all the brand new appliances. The living room with the new television. You then walked down the hall to the bathroom with fresh decor. You showed him the almost empty extra room, explaining you would probably turn it into an office. Finally, your bedroom. 

“This is ours?” he asked, stepping in. 

“Yeah,” you meekly informed, putting your hands behind your back as you followed him in. “Yeah, this was actually my bedroom before I went to Asgard. We didn’t close on the deal until after I left. But all my stuff is in here. I haven’t really changed any of this stuff. It’s mostly pictures, work documents, and some posters of movies I like,” you explained as Loki walked around the room. 

“This… this is a glimpse into the life you had before me,” he commented. 

“What… do you think?” you wondered, watching his face as he went around, looking at pictures. 

“I think it’s amazing. This is you and Shannon, right?” he asked, pointing to a picture that had been framed - one of many. 

You walked over and laughed. “Oh yeah. This was Halloween. I went as a Victorian Vampire and she went as a zombie nurse. We won the costume contest at the party we went to,” you explained, smiling at the memory. 

Loki shook his head. “I… this has made me happier than I could ever imagine. I’ve always wanted to know your life better. Know your parents, know the life you led before you and I met… To know where your heart lied, to know where your passions led you.” 

You shrugged. “Well, this is it. These are all my things. All my clothing, pictures, life’s work. It’s all here. Just, feel free to rummage. After you get some rest of course.” 

“Rest is the last thing on my mind,” he quickly stated in a low voice, snaking his arms around your waist in a flash before picking you up. 

“Loki,” you chastised. As much as fooling around sounded fun, you knew he needed to be resting. 

“Darling, please? This is our first night, in our new home. Let me christen it? Then I will sleep all day tomorrow if you wish.”

Well, either Loki was extremely persuasive, or you were extremely easy. 

“It’s very, very, very hard to say no to you,” you informed with a coy smile. 

He gave a low laugh. “That’s what I like to hear.” Within an instant, his mouth was working wonders on your body. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876​ @magpiegirl80​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @iamwarrenspeace​ @marvel-imagines-yes-please​ @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification​ @thejemersoninferno​ @rda1989​ @munlis​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @bubblyanarocks3​​ @igiveupicantthinkofausername​​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @feelmyroarrrr​​ @kaelingoat-blog​ @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​ @damalseer​​ @heyitscam99​​ @yknott81​​ @sorryimacrapwriter​​ @glitterquadricorn​​ @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm​​ @alyssaj23​​ @sea040561​​ @princess76179​​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ @sarahp879​​ @malfoysqueen14​​ @ellallheart​​ @breezy1415​​ @marvelmayo​​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711​

Loki: @lostinspace33​​ @ultrarebelheart​​ @lenawiinchester​​ @esoltis280​​ @tngrayson​​ @wangdeasang​​ @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice​​

UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

[koiyyo]

hnng i want to request a lot of things but i’m scared to but!!! how would the classes play animal crossing and/or their favorite villagers if it wouldn’t be too hard! thank u

hi, mod kiwi here! thanks for the ask, anon- don’t be afraid to ask us whatever!! :)

(also me and irusu r really cool and helped) -mod corn

here we go! animal crossing time!

dr1 cast!

makoto

- plays daily- his favorite villager is probably poppy- his favorite special villager is shrunk- silly axolotl man- got really confused the first time one of his tools broke- almost started crying- invites every animal he meets into his island no matter what- does EVERY favor villagers ask of him - actually likes bunny day and thinks the eggs are adorable

kyoko

- only got it because makoto BEGGED her to get it- her favorite villager is judy she’s hella cute- her favorite special villager is sable - just chilling- tons of purple flowers on her island - doesn’t like peppy villagers, feel like they’re too hyper for her- puts a lot of care into her villagers doe- likes going to a mystery island and just investigating,,, unless it has tarantulas

byakuya

- surprisingly really likes animal crossing- acts like he doesn’t- his favorite villager is raymond… of course- his favorite special villager is tom nook- chased around makoto holding an axe one time- makoto was literally crying- makoto thought that you could actually kill people with axes in animal crossing- byakuya found this amusing

sayaka

- actually enjoys ac a lot- her favorite villager is chrissy, she just has awesome vibes- her favorite special villager is mabel cause she’s,, blue,, - loves taking videos/pictures of villagers singing- tries to hum along,, fails- her islands are always covered in tons of flowers (mostly blue!!)- enjoys inviting people to her island and showing them around

junko

- takes ac too seriously- her favorite villager is definitely audie cause she’s an embodiment of fashion statement- her favorite special villager is sable cause who doesn’t love clothing- harasses mukuro to come to her island anytime she plays- will dig holes everywhere whenever someone visits- her house should be in a magazine it’s so pretty,,- new outfit for everyday of the month- hosts fashion shows religiously with her friends or anyone she can get her hands on

mukuro

- doesn’t really play just sits back and watches junko- plays on her save every now and then doe- favorite villager is vivian since she reminds her of junko- favorite special villager is sable- doesn’t like talking to villagers, feels like they're judging her- if a villager pisses her off she makes plans to kill them- she can’t, so she settles for bonking them until they leave

chihiro

- avid ac fan- favorite villager is sheldon, he can respect the hustle- favorite special villager is isabelle cause she’s precious- cries if he accidentally hurts a villagers feelings- is hella rich- loves decorating around the villagers’ house as best he can- his island is more nature themed,, its just more relaxing- takes tons of scenic pictures, mostly with mondo and taka

mondo

- “i would never play a BABY game”- next thing he knows, he’s up at 3 am whispering how cute the villagers are- favorite villager is tex he’s so chonky (and his taste in fashion is top tier)- favorite special villager is k.k cause Damn He Vibes- will constantly run over his flower and almost throw his console- asks chihiro for advice constantly- “h-how do i get.. good fish..”- quality bonding time- doesn’t tell people he plays but gushes about it in private

taka

- claims he doesn’t have time for it- he actually does,, and plays it any chance he gets- favorite villager is kid cat cause he’s so funky- favorite special villager is blathers since he teaches him a lot- can’t handle lazy villagers, they didn’t do anything wrong he just feels like they will slack off in his uptight town smh- doesn’t really care about designing his town, mostly completing tasks he needs to- likes having red flowers everywhere tho- will cry if he doesn’t get all the fish/insects he needs on time- beats up any visitor that leaves something on the ground

toko

- attempted to buy Doom instead- favorite villager is coco, she’s just so cute/creepy- favorite special villager is jack he vibes- hates interacting with her villagers cause she feels like she’ll mess it up- tried to get byakuya to let her on his island, or for him to visit hers- is very thorough about decorating her island- tries to have a story behind it so it feels more unique- always ugly sobs when her flowers end up gone

jill

- attempted to buy AC instead, she won- favorite villager is lucky, feels like he has serial killer vibes- favorite special villager is jack- runs over any flowers that toko tries to plant- tries to make the island scary themed- if any villager “looks at her wrong” she harasses them daily- leaves them gruesome letters even tho they cant understand

hiro

- doesn’t even know how he got a copy he just does- favorite villager is sherb- favorite special villager is wisp since he likes getting stuff, he likes harvey too- doesn’t bother putting effort into designing his island- only plays while high so he thinks the villagers are kinda scary- “why are they,, staring at me like that,,,”- has never repaid his debt to tom nook

hina

- her brother was the one who introduced her to the series, loves it- favorite villager is ketchup cause shes cute and can swim!!- favorite special villager is gulliver since he’s goofy- loves fishing anytime she can- always plays when she wakes up early in the morning and before bed- anytime she gets something new she acts like a child on christmas- thinks all villagers are cute and got pouty when she couldn’t have them all on her island- can never outrun tarantulas ):

sakura

- loves playing when hina is around- her favorite villager is maddie, reminds her of hina- favorite special villager is daisy mae she’s just really cute- hina helps her decorate her island since she doesn’t care that much- gets sad if she accidentally hits a villager- enjoys playing at night since it’s relaxing- constantly being stung by wasps pls help her

celeste

- favorite villager is portia she’s fancy as hell- favorite special villager is celeste duh- likes taking slow strolls through her museum to see her progress- her house is very victorian-esque- lots of tables with tea around her island- likes designing gothic clothes- anything on her island that can be black is - has a crime scene hidden on her island just for the hell of it

hifumi

- favorite villager is snooty, wants her to step on him- favorite special villager is isabelle- his island is only anime themed- has anime girl “posters” all over his house, and on his clothing- always gets stung by wasps and claims that it’s unfair- no one interacts with him

leon

- didn’t think he’d be into ac- favorite villager is leonardo- favorite special villager is k.k- doesn’t play this game very religiously- his island shows that smh- says he’ll break his console if he gets another sea bass- likes having a relaxing walk while playing to calm him down doe- outfit is just a baseball jersey

komaru

- favorite villager is felicity- favorite special villager is isabelle- likes playing with makoto and toko- her island is very cute, whenever someone tells her this she gets vry flustered- the shine in her eyes gets 10x brighter when she catches a big fish- loves staring at her aquarium- all her clothing is pastel and cute- has every type of tree on her island,, for the vibe

dr2!!

hajime

- enjoys ac- gets confused every 2 seconds doe- one time chiaki make rosie move out of hajime’s island as a prank. he will never forgive her for this- his favorite villager is rosie cuz she’s just adorable,, also vibes with kabuki- his favorite special character is flick. funky chameleon boy- grumbles about how he misses rosie constantly- loves tangy doe,, calls her orange juice

nagito

- loves to play with hajime and chiaki- only villagers that he likes ever move into his island bc of his luck- one time rosie moved into his island. hajime was fucking pissed- his favorite villager is ruby because she was one of his first animals to move into his island- his favorite special character is jack- likes having green flowers everywhere- got every fish he needed too cause of his damn luck

chiaki

- had her hands on it the second the game was released. plays constantly- always has an absurd number of bells and nook miles- her favorite villager is lolly :”)- her favorite special character is blathers bc funny sleepy owl man- has never seen daytime cause she sleeps during the day- even if she’s lazy her island is gucci as hell- invites hajime to her island just to bonk him and leave him to fight wasps

ibuki

- camped outside of gamestop till it opened, screamed when she got her hands on a copy- her favorite animal is definitely bella- favorite special villager is k.k., attends all his concerts, and has all his songs- anytime she makes a mistake she’ll just yell “NO!”- is actually pretty calm playing- will give all the villagers wacky voices, ends up in snort laughter- doesn’t like fishing cause she always pulls the rod in to early- loves having colors EVEYRRYWRHERE

mikan

- favorite villager is fauna- favorite special villager is lable- anytime she gets stung she’s on top of it, has tons of medicine- cries when she does anything wrong- worries if her villagers judge her- sucks at fishing- all of her clothing has at least one (1) bandaid included cause why not- her actual villager has a bandaid on its face for the aesthetic™- loves when she’s sitting on a bench and a villager joins

mahiru

- has so many random photos of nature or villagers- favorite villager is tasha she’s vry cute!!- favorite special villager is pavé since HES flamboyant and good for pictures- her island is very aesthetic- tons of pretty flowers everywhere, and everything place is just aligned perfectly somehow- loves touring others islands, especially hiyoko’s- her outfit has a drawn on camera for the vibe

peko

- avid fan of animal crossing- if you cant interact with real life animals then games >>- favorite villager is all of them (but favors marshal more,, reminds her of fuyuhiko)- favorite special villager is isabelle- has never bullied or hit one (1) of her villagers, cherishes them too much- will send them letters saying how much she loves them from time to time- her island is very pretty and all her villagers are decorated outside- forgets to eat dinner or sleep cause she plays it so much

akane

- “how many things in the game can i eat”- favorite villager is katt cause she’s so INDEPENDENT- favorite special villager is jingle, always makes her excited- has a makeshift restaurant on her island- all her outfits have food somewhere on them- every fruit tree she can get she has, she requires food 24/7- constantly threatens to fight tom nook for putting her in debt

fuyuhiko

- FAV VILLAGER MARSHAL 100%- also pashmina cause she reminds him of natsumi- natsumi was the one who convinced him to get it, showed it to peko- now they play it every night together before bed- yells at villagers anytime they get in his way then apologizes profusely- peko has to help him design his island he just doesn’t get it- takes her on ac dates, they just stargaze or look at their aquariums- likes to talk to the villagers as if they can hear him,, will blush and deny if peko points it out

sonia

- favorite villager is tia because she “looks fancy”- favorite special villager is pavé- has tons of outfits related to disney princesses- her island is very modern looking, prefers stone things than wooden- has tons of fashion shows- everything about her island is clean and aligned- lets gundham visit a lot to check in on her cute villagers- hella rich has that bell cash money

kazuichi

- compliments sonia’s island everyday even if he hasn’t been allowed on it- favorite villager is freya, loves her colors- favorite special villager is harvey cause he vibes- screams anytime he gets a big fish- island lowkey looks like trash but sonia gives him advice amen- is pretty smart about wasps, but lacks iq with anything else like tarantulas- unironically celebrates the villagers’ birthdays- even if he’s feral he likes to take a chill pill and play ac

teruteru

- ew- favorite villager is merengue- favorite special villager is isabelle- tries to flirt with villagers through letters- all the villagers on his island are wamen- tried to buy nude qr codes,, failed- always has an apron on and has a little cafe on his island

imposter

- favorite villager is keaton since he’s funky- favorite special villager is blanca- scoffs anytime they miss an insect or fish- dedicated to ac after they said they wouldn’t be- their island is actually pretty well decorated, they enjoy having flowers everywhere- until they run over them and regret living

hiyoko

- favorite villager is soleil, tiny and cute- favorite special villager is jack- mahiru suggested ac to her and then she got obsessed- always bullies her villagers, its a miracle they haven’t moved out- pitfall seeds buried all over her island for poor, unsuspecting visitors- her island is akin to hell no one wants to visit her- its a shame since its so pretty tho- likes visiting places with mahiru and letting her take photos- enjoys spinning to pretend she’s dancing

gundham

- his favorite villagers are all the hamsters- his favorite special villager is daisy mae- has played since the first game, religious fan of it- never been rude to one of his villagers- takes designing very seriously and it pays off- despite his very colorful island his outfits are pretty dark- walks around sonia’s island a lot and they stargaze sometimes- played it for 24 hours straight once, almost died- goes on to ac forums and starts flame wars with anyone that bullies their villagers (mainly hiyoko)

nekomaru

- plays every now and then, loves it a lot- favorite villager is kevin since he vibes- favorite special villager is jingle, gets him hyped- anytime a villager starts singing he’ll yell “YOU’RE DOING GREAT”- doesn’t know how to decorate,, at all,,- his house is just another storage room to him- is in tons of debt due to tom, would rather buy expensive stuff with his bells- yells when fishing. doesn’t matter if its a big fish or not, he just does- will hype up someone when he goes to their island

dr v3!

shuichi

- kaede convinced him to get it and loves it- favorite villagers are punchy and beau, he just thinks theyre funky- favorite special villager is flick cause he’s laid back- waterfalls all over his island, says its a memorial to the waterfalls of tears he loses every night- visits his friends islands a lot- has tons of blue flowers and hasn’t ruined them once amen- kokichi ruined them once though. he cried- island is very aesthetic since it’s mostly nature themed- cries happy tears when villagers do ANYTHING- cherishes anything his friends gift him- except for kokichi, he sent him a threat and a shirt saying “nerd”

maki

- doesn’t tell a lot of people she plays it, very shy about it- favorite villager is cherry- favorite special villager is celeste- everything on her island is red and pink- even if she’s tough on the inside she loves having a cute island- has a place specifically to sit and watch the stars (mainly for when kaede and/or kaito is with her)- gets overly defensive when people ask why she loves her villagers so much- “I JUST-” sobs “DO”- gets bullied by kokichi for anything she does while playing- resulted in a broken arm and trampled flowers. F

himiko

- only plays at night until tenko convinces her to wake up earlier- favorite villager is bob- favorite special villager is k.k- just likes vibing doesn’t take anything to seriously- tries her best for her outfits to resemble a magician- preforms “magic” shows ( it’s really just her throwing down items and claiming it appeared magically )- tenko and angie drag her all across their islands daily, acts like she doesn’t love it but its the main reason she still plays- anytime she gets something new she just shrugs- doesn’t like zipper and tenko has to assure her it isn’t a murderer tracking her location

kaede

- favorite villager is bianca- favorite special villager is k.k, unironically likes his music- has a piano in every room of her house- pretends to play said pianos for friends that are visiting- rainbow flowers everywhere- except red because she gives those all to maki- convinces people to have fashion shows with her, no actual winners, but they all win in her heart- plays it a lot in her free time, kind of addicted- likes to hum along with singing villagers- everything about her island is just hella cute

rantaro

- “whats an animal crossing”- and ever since that day he’s been a religious fan, amen- favorite villager is chief, likes making “that ain’t it chief” jokes- favorite special villager is k.k, will listen to his music whenever he’s staring off into space- his island is lazily made but still looks so good??- will just stare at butterflies before remembering he should catch them- “what’s the point of an ocean if i can’t sail it bro..”- loves playing at night cause of shooting stars- always wishes for kokichi to stop sending him hate letters

kirumi

- favorite villager is whitney and tia since theyre,, cool n chill- favorite special villager is isabelle- her house and island are 100% CLEAN- has a zen garden behind her house- anytime someone visits her island she offers them tea- treats the villagers like her own family- likes sending them letters with perfect grammar, just pleases her soul- has never gotten stung by a wasp her iq is large- her outfit looks like a maid amen- kokichi always ask her to clean his island, never happened

ryoma

- favorite villager is rasher- favorite special villager is kicks- doesn’t get the appeal of ac- will play it for like 5 minutes tops- enjoys the fishing aspect doe- anytime he visits someones island he will just sit on the shore and stare out into the ocean- thanks god that his villager is the same height as all the animal ones, now he isn’t short (:

korekiyo

- body outlines, blood, and bloody summoning ritual circles everywhere on his island- favorite villager is lucky- favorite special villager is jack and blathers- keeps scary looking fish in his house- said house is dark and probably has an occult book somewhere- curses his villagers in an unknown language whenever they forsake him- every screenshot of a villager he has includes him behind a tree staring menacingly at them- doesn’t invite people to his island, people don’t even wanna come- if he somehow ends up on somebody's island he’ll stalk them- became an urban legend on all the ac forums

angie

- her favorite villager is ankha- favorite special villager is isabelle and jingle- anytime a villager moves in she says “atua has blessed angie with a cute villager!”- likes yellow flowers- her outfit is just a smock with paint on it amen- sends people and villagers letters wishing them good health every. single. day.- likes tagging along with tenko and himiko whenever they do something- loves chasing butterflies

tenko

- was very hyped over the game since everybody else hyped it up- favorite villager is nibbles and cookie they’re just VIBING- favorite special villager is isabelle (screams anytime she is on screen)- will wake up himiko or angie at 3 am to flex the big fish she just got- got rich just to buy them gifts- anytime a guy is in her presence she bonks them with a net- this is the reason she has no male villagers, and no males invited. periadt.- has matching outfits with da girls- grows lots of flowers (mainly to give to her friends amen)- cherishes this game cause it gives her an excuse to spend time with da girls

miu

- favorite villager is olivia - favorite special villager is shrunk- constant sex jokes- her outfit looks like a stripper deadass- harasses people about not knowing how to play when she, herself, does not have a damn clue- almost ruined her console cause she’ll spit out her drink when she gets a big fish- everything she does is feral- never stops running so she doesnt have flowers- kokichi steals any flowers she may have anyway- decorating? whats that? just throw random stuff on ur island

gonta

- his favorite villager is joey cause he’s funny looking and trying his best- his favorite special villager is blathers- island looks pretty natural, just dirt paths every now and then- will hunt down an insect even if he has it already- was sad he had to give up his insects to blathers, then realized... he can catch them again!!- has a garden and always gets excited when butterflies fly around- golden net to show off how much of a pro he is at collecting insects- gets shy anytime someone visits but his islands so cute,,

kaito

- favorite villager is apollo because he’s named after the apollo 11- favorite special villager is harvey, can respect his vibes- likes walking around with maki and shuichi- tries his best to play it but he’s kinda dumb,,- whenever gets something new he loses all his brain cells in excitement- will probably never pay tom nook back. he is clueless about even being in debt.- mostly plays before bed cause he stares at the stars- will send maki pictures of shooting stars even if its 2 am- island is pretty natural since he forgets to decorate it,,

kokichi

- favorite villager is pietro cause he always compares him to people- loves all the mouse villagers- favorite special villager is jack and blanca- all over his island is just. holes and pitfall seeds.- has fallen into the holes plenty of times himself- sends all of his friends letters, which just consist of him making fun of them- tons of carnival things around his island since “ur invited to the circus clown”- his house looks like jail for no reason- clowns others for having poor taste in fashion when he just cosplays a RAT- also has an outfit that looks like a trash can xoxo

kiibo

- favorite villager is ribbot, they’re practically the same- favorite special villager is snowboy and blathers- anytime he reads text its so robotic,, hella funny to whoever's playing with him- everything also confuses him- “what is a .. c+??”- is actually very efficient and paid off his tom nook debts in no time- respects his villagers a lot and will give them gifts- his favorite part is chasing butterflies, usually misses tho- accidentally shot a gift balloon over water, searched for it for over 10 minutes- anytime someone does something he just does a happy emote @ them,,

tsumugi

- favorite villager is tasha she’s a bad bithc- favorite special villager is blanca- has so many different outfits as different anime characters- her island is so well decorated- loves taking aesthetic screenshots with her anime outfits- takes commissions for designing clothing amen- runs an ac instagram just to flex how pretty her things are- actually enjoys the game a lot, especially with other people

i fucking hate tumblr formatting - mod irusu who edited this

[tetrakys]

Behind the Mask

This is the story I wrote for BV zine. It’s set in Eldarya around episodes 16/17.

---

The moment I stepped outside HQ, I felt like I’d been teleported to a new, magical world. Again. This time no mushrooms had been involved.

What was usually the busy, messy and kinda dirty market square, was now a ballroom out of a fairy tale. Long, scarlet drapes surrounded the area, giving it an air of sumptuous elegance. Small flames floated in the air, looking like sparkling chandeliers. Musicians played strange instruments that reminded me of violins and flutes of my world.

But nothing surprised me as much as the people. Everyone was impeccably dressed in amazing gowns and suits, their faces covered in colourful masks. Alajea and Karenn had told me that faeries took very seriously the festivity of Samhain, the Gaelic precursor of our Halloweeen, but I had no idea how seriously.

They’d explained that, when their people still lived on Earth, it was the one night where they could walk freely among humans without fear of being recognised. Human believed that during this night the walls between different worlds thinned and could easily be crossed. They all wore masks and costumes to blend between the faeries and demons they assumed travelled the Earth during that night. Once Eldarya had been created the faeries kept the celebration as a reminder of the life of hiding and fear they’d left behind.

I looked down at my elegant but simple white gown. At first, I thought I might be overdressed with the soft tulle skirt and the tight corset that Purriri had persuaded me to buy. She’d even offered the mask that currently covered half of my face at a discount. Now I was happy I’d spent a big chunk of my savings on this dress, at least I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb.

I walked slowly around the edges of the dancefloor trying to spot people I might know. At some point I thought I recognised Karuto, those horns kinda gave him away, but he looked too busy handling the food to care about chatting with me.

A dancing couple caught my eye. It couldn’t be… yes! Karenn and Chrome! Despite the mask I could tell he’d turned five different shades of red and was stuttering something I couldn’t hear. She looked cute in a blue dress and was smiling at him cheekily. Also, she was leading. I didn’t know what she had in mind, but poor Chrome.

“Mmm…” a soft, smooth voice whispered at my back, “you look lovely tonight my lady. May I offer you a drink? Or maybe you could offer me one?”

I turned around to find myself face to face with a tall, black haired masked man, dressed in a Victorian style.

“N-Nevra?”

“I’m not Nevra, my lady. Tonight I’m the blood-thirsty Count Dracula,” he replied with a fanged smile.

A moment of silence went by while I tried to grasp the situation.

“Let me get this straight. You, a vampire, dressed up as a… vampire??” I asked incredulous.

“Brilliant, isn’t it? This year I’m definitely going to win best costume.”

“B-but… how? Why?”

“There are so many definitions of vampire in your world. At first, I wanted to go with the sparkling one, but then I decided that you can never do wrong with a classic,” he explained. “You humans are so funny. Why would vampires live in isolated mansions, we like to PAR-TY!”

I genuinely didn’t know how to reply.

“Ah you found the kid!” said a falsely rough, deep voice, which belonged to a man with long blue hair, beard and moustaches. “Here is my dinner! Oh-oh-oh!”

“Ezarel? W-what are you dressed as?”

“Mph… you’re so stupid. Can’t you see the bag full of presents? I’m clearly Bluebeard!”

“I understand the facial hair, but… the presents?”

“How could you not know the fairy tales from your own world,” he replied irritated. “Don’t you know that Bluebeard brings gifts to kids and, once they sleep, eats them?”

“I think you’ve mixed up three of four different characters here. Have you even read the fable?”

“Nah,” he replied with his usual big, devilish smile. “Who has time for these things.”

“Wait…” I said, finally grasping the situation. “You just wanted an excuse to wear your fake beard again, didn’t you?”

“BINGO!” he laughed. Since I’d thought him a few Earthling slangs he kept using them whenever he had a chance just to annoy me.

“It wasn’t funny the first time,” I said remembering how he’d tried to trick me into believing that I’d been in a coma for hundreds of years, “and it’s not funny now. Bluebeard is a horrible character, basically a serial killer, he murdered his own wives!”

“Uhm…” he looked surprised. “I didn’t know that.”

“Isn’t the point to look scary?” Nevra said patting Ezarel on the back, ”even though you look more hilarious than scary. Now, Valkyon got it right.”

“Where is he?” I asked scanning the crowd without recognising him. I wished I could chat with Valkyon for a bit, I loved spending time with him, he always made me feel at ease. “What is he dressed as?”

“I’m only going to give you a hint: It’s furry.” He laughed.

“Uh…?”

“You’ll see.”

I was scanning the area looking for Valkyon, when my eyes stopped on someone else. A man, dressed in a dark suit and black cape. He was wearing a white mask covering half of his face and I recognised him as the Phantom of the Opera. I didn't know the story was also famous in Eldarya, but apparently many of Earth's legends and fables had some sort of connection to faeries folklore.

The man was looking at me from the other side of the improvised ballroom, and even from afar I could see his eyes, which were of an impossible light shade of blue. I could tell his skin was dark from his chin and the strong line of his lips, the only parts of his body not covered by his outfit.

He was imposing, mysterious and his gaze completely unnerving.

"We have to go now." I almost jumped on the spot, suddenly remembering I was talking with the guys.

"Why, is something going on?"

"Well, we shouldn't really tell you this but… do you remember the knowledge-eating monster?" Nevra asked.

"The one who ate all the library's books and whose escape I was unjustly accused of?" I replied drily, "I have a vague recollection, yes."

"Well,” he continued, ignoring my sarcasm. “What you don't know is that those monsters come in couples. There was a second book, and we have found out today that it’s disappeared."

"WHAT?" I cried out alarmed.

"Shhh" Ezarel gestured for me to shut up. "You shouldn’t have said anything, Nevra."

"Don't worry Erika, Miiko asked us to keep our eyes open but the book has probably just been misplaced. Everything is going to be fine." 

I wanted to believe him, but it wasn’t the first time I doubted the Guard’s judgment on important decision. Who would ever hide a monster who ate knowledge… in a book… in a library?

“The library is still mostly empty. If this monster really escaped, he would try to eat people’s memories like the previous one tried to do with me,” I pointed out nervously.

“Nah, this one is different, they are complementary. While one erases the stories it feeds on, the other makes them real. Anyway, we must run, see you later.” Ezarel said while they walked away.

I was left dumbfounded, what did it mean that the monster made the stories real? I kept ruminating on that thought for a while until someone broke me away from my thoughts.

“May I have this dance?”

I smiled at Leiftan, offering him my hand as he led me to the dancefloor. A slow, soft music was playing, and I tentatively put my arms on his shoulders, while he held my waist. It was probably the most intimate we’d ever been with each other, but it didn’t feel awkward. It felt right.

“I like the wings,” I said after a moment looking at the white attachments behind his back, “they’re so beautiful, they almost seem real.”

“You look really pretty in your costume.” He said changing the subject, slightly tightening his hold on my waist. “What is it?”

“T-thanks…” I said feeling some heat rise to my cheeks. “Have you ever heard of the white swan? The story is called Swan Lake.”

“No, will you tell me about it?” he asked looking genuinely interested.

“It’s about this princess, Odette, who is cursed by an evil sorcerer to live her life as a woman during the night and a swan during the day, unless she finds someone who swears to truly love her forever.” I explained. “I’ve always loved this story, since the moment my parents took me to the ballet when I was a child. But I… am a little embarrassed to admit that I also cried in the theatre.”

“Oh… is it a sad story? She doesn’t find love?”

“She does. As in many fables, a beautiful prince falls madly in love with her. But there are different versions of the ending. Sometimes love is not enough to save them.”

The music was about to end, but he hugged me closer, almost unwilling to let me go. I felt a little embarrassed and tried to keep the conversation going.

“I’ve always felt bad for Odette. Having to live a half-life, hiding, not being able to be herself completely. It would be so difficult to find true love, someone who could love her real self. What a terrible fate.”

He didn’t reply, as if lost in thought.

“I-I’m sorry, Erika. I… have to go check…” he stuttered after a minute, when the piece we were dancing to ended.

“The library monster,” I helped him, he was probably struggling to find an excuse to keep the secret. “I know. Nevra already spilled the beans. Do you need help…?”

“You’re kind.” He smiled his usual, sweet smile. “There’s no need. Please enjoy the party.”

Bowing down, he took my hand, leaving a small kiss on its back, and walked away.

"That wasn't very aengelic of him," replied a mysterious and somewhat ironic voice at my back. I turned around to find that man, the Phantom. "Running, leaving his dance partner all alone on the dancefloor. But a man’s loss is another man’s gain, may I?"

Without waiting for my reply, he took me in his arms and led us through the next dance. The music was slightly more upbeat, and there was something wild in the rhythm, almost primordial. I was strangely intrigued by this unknown man, there was something familiar in him, but I wasn’t going to drop my guard. His eyes meant danger, and his hold on me felt vaguely predatorial.

"The Light Guard is always busy, even during festivals.” I replied. “Do I know you?"

“Ah yes, the Guard and its mysterious business. I bet they have a lot of important, questionable tasks to attend to.” He commented, ignoring my question.

His answer surprised me. I knew not everyone at the village, and even in the Guard, was a big fan of the way things were handled around here. I knew I hadn’t been most of the time. No one was always vocal about it though.

“Mysterious business? What are you talking about?” I asked.

“We all know the Light Guard is not very forthcoming with the rest of the people here.”

“Yes, but…” I tried to play devil’s advocate. “They have their reasons most of the time… Safety and…”

I noticed then that he had led us to the refreshments area. Breaking his hold on me, he turned towards the pitchers of strange liquids.

“So, do you think the Guard cares about everyone’s safety?” He continued, while mixing odd coloured drinks.

“Of course,” I replied carefully, accepting the amber coloured drink he was handing me. It tasted sweet, almost like honey.

“So, let’s say there was a threat in the City of El, they would share the news with everyone?”

“It has happened in the past.” I pointed out.

“Only when the problem was too evident to hide. But what if that wasn’t the case. Let’s say there’s a monster running around right here, right now. Would they stop the festivities to keep people safe or would they keep up appearances until it was too late?”

I felt my blood getting cold in my veins. An awful suspicion started forming in my brain.

“Who the hell are you? What have you done?”

“A friend.” He simply replied, his lips twisting in a cruel smile. “I’ve done nothing really, except borrowing an old book from the library. Just an innocent prank. A little naughtiness should be expected during this night.”

“But…” I started to protest, looking around panicked. That’s when I noticed something strange was going on. A nearby boy dressed as a ghost, went to grab a glass and his hand passed through it without being able to touch it. He’d become incorporeal. A girl I had noticed before who was wearing beautiful, colourful make up that made her look like an Alfeli, turned into the companion right before my eyes.

“People think that when the mask drops you can see the real nature of who’s behind it, but it’s not true. It’s when you wear a mask and you’re not forced to fit in that you are really unmasked. You can be yourself and follow your instincts, go after what you really want.” I felt frozen on the spot, his words made no sense to me. “And you… what is it that you really want?” He whispered almost seductively in my ear. “You’re welcome for the drink, by the way.”

When I finally managed to turn around, he had disappeared. I didn’t have time to look for him though, because that’s when all hell broke loose. Everyone started turning into the very thing they were masked as. Most people had chosen to dress up as companions or characters of famous fables, but other had picked bolder and scarier options. I could see zombies, witches, monsters of different kinds.

OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod….

I had to do something, but I had no idea of what. Was I about to turn too? It didn’t look like it, I was feeling fine. You’re welcome for the drink he had said, had he given me a protective potion? Why?

It wasn’t time to ask myself questions I didn’t know the answer to. It was time to run.

I took off without really knowing where to go, but soon stopped in my tracks.

I should’ve probably gone looking for the guys, but where could I find them? I knew they had been on patrol and I knew the spot each of them was usually assigned to.

The beach, the edge of the forest, the gardens or the cave.

All these places… I didn’t know what to expect. I knew there were things planned for this evening. I’d heard rumours of a haunted house, a maze and other unknown spooky surprises.

And what if the guys had also been turned? Was it safer if I went back inside HQ and tried to solve this problem by myself? But I had no idea how.

That moment an image popped into my mind. His face. No matter what, I had to find him. It was what my heart was telling me to do.

Now I knew exactly where to go. Without wasting another moment, I started running.

---

This story has 5 different epilogues, each corresponding one of the LIs. 

[tonotbelionized]

Volume 7, Episode One: The Greatest Kingdom

So, I’m gonna be doing something that I haven’t done before and make some reviews on each episode of Volume 7. After watching this first episode, I have many feelings towards it.

Under the Read More because spoilers!

I’m gonna start positive on this review before getting into the negatives, because there were actually a lot I liked about this episode.

First, the colours and animation. CRWBY have been getting better and better with their backgrounds and colour schemes throughout the years and it really shows. The industrial aspect of Mantle is sold with the dusk colours, purple and reds, and the neon lights distinguish it from the more rural and asian inspired Mistral architecture.

On top of that, the first episode does a great job in setting out just what it’s like to live in Mantle. The people seem disenfranchised, you have people drunk in street, and the racism is so ingrained that people just behave that way in the open with no fear of reprimand. With the billboards showing Ironwood telling these strict rules, and soldiers roaming the streets with droids, it very much paints Mantle in a dystopian light.

On the characters, I’m love that Ruby and Weiss immediately jump to protecting Blake from the drunk guy. With what little interactions we get for Ladybug, I’m glad that we’re getting something, and that Weiss has grown so much from her Volume 1 attitude to the Faunus to now. Great character development. 

Also Maria is pretty funny again. She annoyed me at the end of Volume 6 with her antics, but it’s nice that she’s climbed back up my list again. I think it was a good idea that she’s not arrested with the others, and I hope that she takes a backseat this volume simply because she’s not needed anymore. The team are in Atlas, Ruby’s learned her silver eyes, and Maria isn’t good in a fight. She’s ran her course.

The new character we got in Pietro Polendina, Penny’s father. All I have to say about him is:

I. Love. Him. On top of his good design with elements connecting to Penny, he’s another disability representation with his wheelchair, and his chair has such a cool design. It looks exactly what a smart and innovative creator would make. And he’s voiced by Dave Fennoy. One of my favourite characters in all media is Lee Everett from The Walking Dead Game, and they got his voice actor to play Pietro.

That’s a big plus for me. 

The fight we got in the episode was very well done. The animators knocked it out of the park with the fight choreography, especially with Qrow and his scythe. The one negative I have is that it feels a bit slow and static in some places, especially with Weiss, but that’s just a problem with her since now her fighting style is stand in one place and use your glyphs. The inter-team fighting is great, I love Weiss and Ren working together, and Nora using Jaune’s shield to launch herself is such a nice nod to her move with Pyrrha back in Volume 1.

Last thing that I like is Penny’s design. It’s really cute, reminds me of those Victorian dolls, and her new hair is so pretty, if a bit janky in some parts. I know that they obviously took inspiration from Dishwasher’s design of Penny, which makes sense considering he’s working for RT now.

And this is where I start getting negative, because there are some parts that I really don’t like.

#1 thing that has made me angry is Penny returning. I hate it. I’ve already made a post months ago about why they shouldn’t bring Penny back, so I’m not gonna repeat myself here, but the simplified explanation is:

It spits in the face of her arc. Penny was struggling with the fact that she’s not a real girl because she’s a robot, with Ruby helping her by saying that, because she has a soul, she is real. This has always been a driving point for Penny. When she died, it drove Ruby and Pyrrha to grief, but it served a purpose because that was when things were getting serious. Ruby just lost her best friend, and Pyrrha won like she always did, but this time her victory came at a price.

Pyrrha killed someone. She was devastated, Ruby was heartbroken, but now all this was for nothing because apparently Penny can just be rebuilt! Who cares that your friend is dead and you watched it before your eyes? She’s back now so it’s all okay!

Real people don’t come back from the dead. Pyrrha is not coming back, everyone who died is not coming back, the whole point that Salem never understood in her backstory is that people can’t come back from the dead. But Penny can, because she’s a robot so of course we can just put her back together. It’s reads off as Penny being a cheap plot point. Ruby could’ve gone through an arc of accepting that her friend was gone and finally talk to someone who knew Penny, but no, because we gotta have powerpuff girl back.

Also Team WBY’s comments are dumb. You guys didn’t know Penny, you only interacted with her once for the entire three volumes she was alive, why are you acting like you’re friends with her? I hate it so much it’s unreal.

Moving on from Penny, beside her, Ruby, Yang and Qrow, the new outfits are bad. The excess use of belts are not only annoying, but they’re clunky and disrupt the flow of the outfit. They make them too busy. The lack of textures makes everything look the same, the overall designs are seriously inappropriate for both Atlas weather and the fact that they’re meant to be fighting. 

Weiss’ ballerina style fighting is going to be seriously impeded by her long and heavy looking dress. Blake is meant to be a stealth fighter who uses acrobatics, leather catsuits chafe and rub you up in all the wrong ways, and the fact that white is overcoming the black is annoying. Her colour is black, put her in it.

On top of colours, Nora’s is just way too bright. It’s colours from her original outfits but there’s just too much saturated blue and pink, it’s way too much. Her old outfit was perfect with the pink taking center stage and the blue being way darker in her jacket. The fact that it mimics the trans flag colours is funny though, as a trans man myself.  

But a final note on the designs is the hairstyles. Jaune’s doesn’t look as bad as I thought if he’s moving, so that’s a plus, but Weiss and Blake’s are just ugh. I had wild hair like Blake’s when I had it longer, and even though I cut it now, it’s still curly. Why is Blake’s hair so lifeless? It looks thin, flat and greasy, and the added problem with it is that her face looks wierd now.

The whole braid on Weiss is way too thick as well, and just isn’t rendered nicely.

Moving on, we have the new characters introduced. Clover and his team, Robyn, Pietro, on top of the previous characters returning, it’s a big problem. The cast is already too bloated, we don’t need Clover and his team adding more and taking away screen time that the other characters need. Why even introduce him when you could easily use the wide cast you already have? Bring Neon and Flynt back, have them be older students than Team RWBY in the Vytal Festival and then they graduated the whole year since the Fall of Beacon.

It woulda added more to the scene, or just have it be guards who disappear after taking the team in. Just stop adding new characters, I literally don’t care about them. And the fact that the heavily Irish-inspired character doesn’t have an Irish accent is bad and I disapprove as an Irish person.

Finally, the OP. I like the actual animation of it, it definitely feels different to the other OPs in the past volumes, but it’s pretty good! I just don’t like the song. Not only can I not understand what Casey is saying, which is something not unique to this song I know, but it doesn’t feel like a RWBY song. All the other openings are rock with ripping guitars and wild energy.

This just doesn’t have that. It feels like a generic anime song to me, and that’s sad because the music has always been that unchanging praise for RWBY from me. 

And that’s it for this episode! Overall, I’d actually really enjoyed it! It was fast, great fighting, good characters and interpersonal moments, and the fact that Dave Fennoy is here just sold it. I’d give my soul to that man.

Now if CRWBY has him call Penny “sweet pea”, I will literally cry. 

So in conclusion, I’d give the episode a 8/10. Needs improvement, but amazing regardless. 

[grimmtaless]

Arc Manner Chapter 1

The gates opened to 142 juniper drive for the first time in months. the large manner that sat in the center of vale Was a large complex consisting of a Jacobean manner and several smaller guest buildings. All of it was protected by a high brick wall with a black gate that held the houses emblem on it , 2 golden arcs. And today The two large golden arcs on the gates opened up and a small car drove in.

The car rolled to a stop in front of the manner. The driver jumped out of car and opened the back door of the car. As the passenger exited the vehicle. the Oakwood doors to the manner swung open and a tall black haired man dressed in a black tuxedo emerged . He had a peculiar  pink streak in his hair that went against his entire appearance.

He calmly walked down the steps to greet the new arrival. “Ms Nikos I presume” said the tuxedoed man with a slight bow. His voice was calm and full of professionalism.

“Ah yes I’m Pyrrha Nikos” the woman replied warmly while sticking out her hand.

“I’m Lie Ren the head Butler here at Arc manner. I’m here to escort you to your new office, living quarters, and then lastly introduce you the the head of the house and your new boss Mr. Arc” Ren said all of this while shaking Pyrrha's hand. “If you have any questions feel free to ask” with that said Ren turned on his heel and started to walk back to the manner. Pyrrha picked up her suitcase and her bags and followed Ren inside.

***

Ren lead Pyrrha through the halls of the mansion. While walking Pyrrha was able to get a good look at the beauty of the house. The walls were painted a dark red with paintings hanging almost everywhere. Swords and medieval armor also made appearances as decoration. They past room after room, each one the door was shut and Pyrrha could tell the lights were off, she found this Odd and decided to ask her first question “ excuse me Mr Lie Ren, I was just wondering where everyone is? With a manner this size it must take a large staff to maintain it , but I have not seen a single butler or maid next to you”

Without breaking stride Ren replayed” this manner only has one resident and that is Mr. Arc. As for the lack of personal we operate on a skeleton crew that consists of me the head butler, a maid, a cook, a gardener, and with the addition of you as secretary/ bodyguard. Maintaining the manner has also been dealt with, as per Order of Mr. Arc all rooms that are not used shall be shut and locked, only to be cleaned if the need arises.” With that he stopped in front of the only open door in the hall.“This is your room you may leave all you bags in here for now.

Pyrrha walked into her new abode. It was a extremely large with a 4 post king size bed and fully walk in closet . The walls were the same dark red as the hallway. The furniture was Victorian along with the dresser and desk it all gave off a air of royalty. The only thing that betrayed the look was the large flat screen tv that sat atop a dresser. Sun flowed through The two bay windows giving a homely feeling in Pyrrha as she set he luggage down on the bed.

“This is beautiful” she said as she went about walking around the room. looking at every little piece furniture and detail. To her this was the most lavish room she had ever stepped into. “ I thought rooms like this were only found in Palaces and on movie sets.”

“Mr. Arc has a flair for the finer thing in life. Sadly he doesn’t tend to leave his study nowadays ” Pyrrha could see a hint of sadness in Ren's face as he stated this. she began to wonder what her new employer was actually like. “ now Ms. Nikos if you wouldn’t mind I will show you to your work space.”

As Ren started to walk away Pyrrha raised her hand and called out “ excuse me Mr. Lie Ren you do not have to call me Ms. Nikos, Pyrrha will do”Ren turned his head and look at Pyrrha for a few seconds his eyes prying into her “ very well Pyrrha and you my call me Ren. Now if you wouldn’t mind following me I will take you to your office.”

For the next 5 minutes they walked in silence. As they walked Pyrrha was increasingly uncomfortable until she couldn’t stand it anymore and broke the silence.

“So what are the other staff like?”

Ren looked at Pyrrha and paused for a moment “ well the maid is crazy” he said with a slight chuckle “ she breaks more things then she cleans, but she’s kind and very energetic. The cook is a very sweet girl, Mr. arc took one taste of her food and instantly hired her. she’s young but can cook better then a seasoned chef. Then there’s the cook's sister she’s the gardener. it was the cooks only request when Mr arc offered her her job, we had to give her older sister employment as well , sadly the gardener has quite the temper especially when it comes to her roses. I suggest you avoid messing up the yard”

“ they sound very.. lovely” Pyrrha said with a worm smile.

They soon came to another door. Ren opened it with a key and then turned and placed it into Pyrrha's hand” this is one of only 3 keys that can unlock this door don’t lose it” once he said that they both walked in. This room was smaller with a single desk in the center of the room. A PC sat on it with a stack of papers. Behind the desk was on another door.

“Where does that door lead to?” Pyrrha asked as she wandered the room

“That is Mr. Arcs study, from this room you have access to every area in the house, the PC is hooked up to every surveillance camera on the Premises. Each camera is motion activated and will pop up on your monitor when activity is detected. The only entrance to the Mr. Arcs study is from that door and that door alone. As you well know you were hired to be Mr. Arcs bodyguard and secretary; from here you can perform both duties.”

Pyrrha was taken back at the amount of security her new boss installed. She had assumed that this job would have been easy just guard some rich bachelor, but after seeing the lengths this Mr. Arc went to she now second guessed her choice of employment.

“Now Pyrrha it’s time to meet your employer and the man you will be protecting” Ren said this as he walked over to the rear door and as he was about to knock on it he paused “ oh I have forgotten to inform you of one thing.

“What is it ?” Pyrrha inquired.

“Mr. Arc does not know that you will be acting as his bodyguard. He was against the idea and would be Furious with me if he found out ” he said it so nonchalantly that Pyrrha almost didn’t realize the seriousness of his statement until her brain fully processed what Ren had said.

“Wait my employer doesn’t know I’m his bodyguard how is that even possible?”

“he does not trust bodyguards, and he believes he does not need one, however a few close friends of Mr. Arc believes he does, and so I went looking for a bodyguard behind his back. When I saw your appreciation and that you doubled as a secretary I knew you were the perfect choice.” It took a minute for Pyrrha to process what the man had said, but Pyrrha felt that Ren was being serious with her, so she decided to ask a few more questions.

“How did you get me hired I put my application in as a bodyguard”

“ Mr. Arc has entrusted me with hiring of all staff. He had been looking for new secretary for some time. When I told him that I had found a new secretary he instantly approved your application without even looking in it”

With that answered Pyrrha thought of any other concern

“ who all knows that I will be his bodyguard?” She wanted to make sure she didn’t accidentally reveal her real job and get herself fired.

“Every staff member knows” at that Pyrrha was shocked, every single employee of Mr. Arc was keeping a major secret from him it was unsettling to say the least. “ why are you going to all these lengths, if Mr. Arc finds out he will most likely fire you!”

“Ms. Nik… I mean Pyrrha” ren's voice was quiet and full of emotion, all hints of his professionalism were gone. “ I will do anything to ensure Jaune is well taken care of and safe. He’s been through to much as it is and if keeping him safe gets me fired so be it. I will gladly resign knowing I did the right thing. the entire staff will tell you the same thing. We owe him that much” as soon as he finished Ren took a deep breath then exhaled and he was back to his proper self.

“Now if you are ready I will introduce you to Mr. Arc.”Ren lifted his hand and knocked on the door 3 times. There was pause then a voice came over an unseen intercom.

“What is it Ren, I told you not to disturb me until dinner is ready” the voice was of a young man he sounded sweet and maybe a bit dorky if Pyrrha was being honest.

“Mr. Arc your new secretary has arrived” there was a another Brief pause then a Loud buzz and the sound of locks turning. The door swung open and Ren ushered Pyrrha into the room and shut the door behind her.

Pyrrha now found herself in a massive study or was it a library she wasn’t sure there were just so many books. The walls where lined with shelves each overflowing with paperbacks and hardbacks. The floor had stacks of books if the room was fancy one could not tell thanks to the mountains of pages. She looked around stunned and a bit pulled back, she had expected a clean and beautiful room just like the rest of the building. She scanned the room for signs of her new employer but saw nothing. Then there came a call from behind one of the shelves and the sound of moving feet

“Ren… ren how many times have I told you not to call me Mr. Ar…..” he cut himself short as he rounded the Corner of the shelf obviously startled. Pyrrha was Now face to face with her employer, her client, and now the person she would be lying too. He was about her height maybe a little taller with shaggy blond hair and stubble on his face as if he had not Shaved in several days. he had smile as he turned the corner m, it was warm and wholesome . He wore a white button up shirt that had what she thought to be coffee stains on it and a pair of black slacks that his shirt tail stuck out of. As soon as his eyes meet Pyrrha she could tell he went on guard. His warm smile instantly vanished and he narrowed his eyes

“Who are you” the young man's tone was now very serious.

Putoff by this abrupt change in demeanor Pyrrha snapped to attention back straight, feet together, and arms to the side then answered as fast as she could. “ my name is Pyrrha Nikos I’m your new secretary Sr. Ren let me and decided to wait outside.”

Mr. Arc without taking his eyes off of her shouted “REN GET IN HERE” a few moments later Ren was standing beside him.

“Yes Mr. Arc”

“Ren why didn’t you tell me she was with you” he said this while glaring at Ren.

“Well Sr. I thought you would know I brought her”

“Well I didn’t” Mr. Arc pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose then turned to face Pyrrha “ my apologies I didn’t mean to startle you” he sounded kinder but still on edge

“Oh no, I’m the one who should apologize I think I startled you more” pyrrha said this with a worm smile.

Mr. Arc shot Ren another glare then turned back to pyrrha

“ let me start over. My name is Jaune Arc I will be your employer.” He paused for a moment then asked “ I apologize but I can’t seem to remember you name what was it?”

“ my name is Pyrrha Nikos”

“Ah that’s right. Now I assume that Ren has made you aware of your duties before Coming here”

“Uh I’m not su…”

“ I thought it best if you were to inform her of duties since she will be assisting you” Ren interrupted before Pyrrha could finish her sentence.

“Ah very well then, here is what your job entails. You will accompany everywhere I go. You will not enter the study unless you are asked or given permission. if I am in my study you are to take calls at the desk out there. You will set up any meetings or appointments that I might have. Lastly you are to alert me when dinner's ready.” To Pyrrha this was perfect she could do her job as bodyguard and he’d never be the wiser to his rules. Sadly she was disappointed that his tone was not back to that light lasted one he had when he believed he was talking to Ren.

“Do you have any questions concerning your job” Ren asked Pyrrha.

When she shook her head Mr. Arc stuck out his hand and said “ welcome Ms. Nikos to Arc manner”.

so this idea has been flouting around in my head for a quit ta while now and i decided to make a chapter of it. this was a sorta test chapter so its probably crawling with grammatical mistakes and i apologize for that. 

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Unforseen Chasm (Part 41)

Part 41 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 1516 Warnings: Language, mentions of being chocked, fluff and hints at smut  Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In a moment, it seemed like no time had passed, and yet it felt that you’d been out for hours. When you finally woke, Shannon was still out and so was Loki. Before panic could overtake you again, Bruce saw you were awake. Clearly, it’d been long enough for Tony and Steve to clear the room. 

“Woah, hey, are you good?” Bruce asked as he walked over and put a hand on your shoulder, helping steady you. 

“Yeah.. yeah.. Are they okay?” you asked, nodding towards them.

“They’re going to be… Long story short, Shannon’s powers were activated while she was at Strange’s with Loki. They used him to antagonize her and she sort of… hurt him…” 

Your eyes bulged. Your mind was just about to snap at this news. 

Shannon...hurt...Loki? Why?

Your blood boiled, your mind raced. You tried to fight yourself from going over there and completely going nuts on Shannon, but with each ticking second of seeing Loki lying on the bed next to you, it got harder to hold the beast back. 

“She...what?” you demanded in almost a hiss.

Bruce suddenly saw the change in your nature. “Y/N/N, now… it’s okay. He was supposed to--”

“Supposed to wind up in a hospital bed?!” you screamed, your fingers electrifying with purple sparks. Unless Bruce wanted to Hulk out, he couldn’t contain you. Right now, everyone in this room was at your mercy. 

You jumped off the table, ready to tear into Shannon. Ready to make her pay for what she'd done. As soon as your feet hit the floor, purple sparks washed over your entire body, your hair beginning to fly around you. 

But before you could go any farther, Loki woke up, unbeknownst to you. Your focus was solely on the woman one bed over from him. Immediately, Loki saw you and he scrambled up.

“Y/N, Y/N,” he eased, seeing your state. He wanted to touch you, but your powers were creating a surface effect. If he put his hands on you, he could get shocked to the other side of the room. “Darling,” he coaxed, standing in front of you. “Look at me, focus on me. What’s wrong?”

“She hurt you,” you stated, your eyes not leaving her form. 

“No, no… Well, she did, but she didn’t mean to. I did it on purpose. I had to,” he informed, trying to get you to look at him. 

Finally, his words registered in you and you snapped back to reality, your powers subsiding. “What? Why?”

“They said they needed my help. They wanted one end of my emotions… then they wanted me to trigger her to get a response so they could help her… Her powers overtook her and she began choking me…” 

You nodded slowly. “And her?”

“Her powers drained her,” Bruce piped up from behind you. You turned to him. 

“So… what does this mean?”

“It means both of them need rest. You wanna take Loki down to his bed?” he suggested. 

“Actually… I have some place better,” you realized. “Loki, do you mind waiting for me outside?” you asked. 

“Certainly, darling,” he assured. He stepped over to you and kissed your forehead before letting you go. You walked up beside Shannon and peered down at her.

“I hope you feel better… You don’t deserve any of this,” you said, your voice sad before you leaned down and kissed her forehead. A gentle smile touched your lips as you gripped her hand. Your face shot towards Bruce. “You keep her safe, and healthy, do you understand?”

“Aye, aye,” Bruce said with a small wave of his hand and a faint smile. 

With a final nod, you met with Loki, grasping his hand, as the two of you walked out of the tower together -- finally free. 

-----------------------------

“Where are we going?” Loki questioned, curiosity in his voice. 

“You’ll see,” you stated with an air of mystery. 

“Being rather mischievous, aren’t you?” he inquired. 

“That’s your job,” you teased. 

This feeling of ease was… new, and fantastic. Walking the streets of your home city with the man you loved… How perfect could things get for you? 

You were tense, though, awaiting the second someone recognized one of you, and the shitstorm began. But so far, no one even knew you two existed. 

Finally, you arrived where you needed. 

“Why are we here?” Loki asked, starting to wonder seriously about why he wasn’t back in his cell. 

“I want to show you something here,” you told him once you stepped out of the elevator and onto the floor. You walked down nearly ten doors, and found the one you were looking for. You took a deep breath, and stuck the key in the door, turning it to unlock it. 

The door swung open thanks to the push you gave it, and you leaned in and flicked on the lights. 

“Ta-da!” you feebly announced, gesturing towards the spacious apartment. 

Loki peered inside, his eyes going over different surfaces before he finally asked, “What is this?”

You bit your lip before walking inside. “This is our home,” you informed. 

His eyes flashed to you. “Our...Our home?” he asked, almost as if he were in disbelief.

Nodding, you said, “Yeah. Um, see Shannon and I picked out this apartment right before you and I met. She kept it, since she thought I would come home. When I got let out on parole, she told me I could stay here, but I didn’t want to leave you. She helped me redecorate the place these last few months. If I wasn’t at work, or with you, I was here. Shannon moved most of her stuff out, to make room for things you might want. But… this is all ours,” you explained with nervous hope.

His eyes went back to scanning the place while you spoke, but then he wasn’t responding. 

“Say something?” you requested. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” he asked, making you even more anxious. He walked towards you and put his hands on your shoulders. “My beloved… I… I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with you, have a home with you. Since we’ve been together, we’ve been caged, forbidden from leaving confines. To have a space that is ours? A private dwelling? This is perfect. It’s the best gift you could’ve given me.”

Grinning like a fool, you hugged him tightly. “Oh, I’m so glad you like it! We’ve spent so much time making everything perfect. Let me show you around.” 

Taking his hand, you lead him to the kitchen, showing him all the brand new appliances. The living room with the new television. You then walked down the hall to the bathroom with fresh decor. You showed him the almost empty extra room, explaining you would probably turn it into an office. Finally, your bedroom. 

“This is ours?” he asked, stepping in. 

“Yeah,” you meekly informed, putting your hands behind your back as you followed him in. “Yeah, this was actually my bedroom before I went to Asgard. We didn’t close on the deal until after I left. But all my stuff is in here. I haven’t really changed any of this stuff. It’s mostly pictures, work documents, and some posters of movies I like,” you explained as Loki walked around the room. 

“This… this is a glimpse into the life you had before me,” he commented. 

“What… do you think?” you wondered, watching his face as he went around, looking at pictures. 

“I think it’s amazing. This is you and Shannon, right?” he asked, pointing to a picture that had been framed - one of many. 

You walked over and laughed. “Oh yeah. This was Halloween. I went as a Victorian Vampire and she went as a zombie nurse. We won the costume contest at the party we went to,” you explained, smiling at the memory. 

Loki shook his head. “I… this has made me happier than I could ever imagine. I’ve always wanted to know your life better. Know your parents, know the life you led before you and I met… To know where your heart lied, to know where your passions led you.” 

You shrugged. “Well, this is it. These are all my things. All my clothing, pictures, life’s work. It’s all here. Just, feel free to rummage. After you get some rest of course.” 

“Rest is the last thing on my mind,” he quickly stated in a low voice, snaking his arms around your waist in a flash before picking you up. 

“Loki,” you chastised. As much as fooling around sounded fun, you knew he needed to be resting. 

“Darling, please? This is our first night, in our new home. Let me christen it? Then I will sleep all day tomorrow if you wish.”

Well, either Loki was extremely persuasive, or you were extremely easy. 

“It’s very, very, very hard to say no to you,” you informed with a coy smile. 

He gave a low laugh. “That’s what I like to hear.” Within an instant, his mouth was working wonders on your body. 

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords @oldfreakything  @adefectivedetective @dontbetooobvious

Tag list- @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @winchester-writes @winchesterenthusiast @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog​   @sammysbuttcheek​ @misz-adrii​ @sandlee44​ @womanxofletters​ @natsuccs​ @childishhoebinoo​ @expecteddifferent​ @girl-next-door-writes​ @fanaticfanfiction​ @dakotapaigelove​ @sassy-spn-knight-of-hell​ @reigningqueenofwordsmain​ @oldfreakything​

Marvel: @reigningqueenofwords​ @flowerbunbunny​ @zelda2248​ @misz-adrii​

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it.  Are they hiding something?????  There’s an active shooter in the castle no one cares about and LeFoux is unconscious because of it.

If the title didn’t give it away TW: sexual assault.

Chapter 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

Okay so we start with a lot of needless explanation of who’s there for the mummy unwrapping party.  Alexia’s real sad LeFoux can’t be there, cause she’s been shot and is just I PRESUME bleeding out in a high-back velvet chair right now. 

Alexia describes the ceremony as being unnerving to her.  The mummy’s wrappings have the broken Ankh symbol so the body is obviously the source of the humanization thing. Can we just get to that point?

We take a random detour for Alexia to explain that, despite the church employing Soulless people to fight Supernatural people, the church says that there’s no way for a Soulless to get to heaven.  ….Are you fucking kidding me?  Are we talking about the same church that used to sell get-out-of-hell free cards?  They’re not going to throw some bullshit out there like, “Soulless can’t go to heaven….unlessssssssssss they fill out a Supernatrual murder card! It can be redeemed for a free salvation or small ice cream!”  Have religious groups exploited groups they look down upon? Of course! But why didn’t they go the other way? Why are they not TOUCHED BY GOD hence why they can naturally purge the big evil Supernaturals?  Cause persecution complex is why! WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS RACISM PARTY? IT’S NOT GOING TO BE RELEVANT IN THIS STORY AT ALL IS IT?

FUCK!

So Ivy and Felicity faint while watching this.  Alexia talks more about how unnerved she is by the mummy and when she leaves the room Ivy is awake and she playing some downright epic tonsil hockey with Tunstell in front of everybody.  This comes totally out of left field by the way, there’s no explanation for it like lol cpr or “I WAS SCARED SEEING YOU FAINTED! OH GOLLY I SURE DO LOVE THE HECKUMS OUT OF YOU.” But hell I guess we gotta wrap up this shitty plot point.  Alexia, whomst, never has had an impure thought is about to chastise her for this when she hears her husband’s grunty grunts.  But he’s taking a break from angry or horny grunts to grunt in pain so Alexia goes down to help.  He’s been hit with a poison dart and is out cold.

Thank god his inane sexism shouting is put on hold.

When this is explained to the other werewolves one of them comments about how poison is a WOMANLY thing. Which makes no sense cause that’s how they tried to kill the queen. BTW bro, it seems by not having a high enough constitution roll, that makes your old alpha a fucking bitch then DON’T IT? Here’s a hot writing tip: Since this writing is smug and for women, can ONE OF THE TIMES we bring up a dude bro being sexist you can like OWN him? Instead of just rolling your eyes?

So Alexia does what anybody would do with her husband out of commission.  Get a woman naked.

She first blames LeFoux for everything, threatens to kill her, and takes off all of an unconscious woman’s clothes in order to find ~useful gadgets~ and ~clues.~

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS CLUE HAS REVEALED TO US READERS!ALEXIA IS SO FUCKING DEEP IN THE CLOSET THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG IS DUE TO THE PERSON GIVING HER GAY FEELS. SHE TAKES OUT THESE FEELINGS BY SEXUALLY ASSAULTING UNCONSCIOUS WOMEN! HOLY FUCK!

But it gets worse friends cause we gotta get commentary about how great LeFoux’s UNCONSCIOUS tits are but NOT AS GOOD AS ALEXIA’S! I’M NOT EVEN JOKING!

“It was odd to think, but she had never before seen another woman’s naked body until now.  She must admit Madame Lefoux did have a rather nice one.  Not so well endowed as Alexia’s own, of course, but trim and tidy with neat small breasts.”

THIS IS SURE THE QUEER REPRESENTATION I WANTED TO SEE!

So this made Alexia mad horny (even though she denies it), but worst of all its victim-blamed away when Alexia makes a note that LeFoux’s PULSE may have QUICKENED when she was stripping her. SO LIKE THAT’S CONSENT RIGHT?

And all this goes down for what?  So Alexia makes a note that somebody MAY HAVE used LeFoux’s dart device to take out her shit husband? REALLY GLAD WE HAD THIS SCENE!

Oh yeah and Tunstell was in the room the entire time cause WE MIGHT AS FUCKING WELL AT THIS POINT!

So

So

Sooooooooooo

After my favorite scene in this series so far…Since it’s a man who’s been knocked unconscious we now have to take the loose attempted murderer seriously. Alexia grabs Maccon’s stashed away gun, and goes to get some nonsense out of the bag she put in Ivy’s room. Ivy wakes up (not knowing that Maccon has been attacked and the castle is in chaos-mode.) So she cries about how she really loves Tunstell and she’s still not sure what to do.  Alexia blows her off and even calls her love struggles ~folderol.~

Which on one hand, sure she has other things on her mind, but she doesn’t tell Ivy, “Hey listen, that blows but my husband was attacked, the attacker is loose, and I just discovered I’m a sexual predator…but like the gay kind so that sucks.”  So Ivy gets upset with her flippant attitude, in my opinion, reasonably, and Alexia waltz outta there. She remembers her papers where actually in her umbrella not her bag.  Also the papers were like her ~official~ I’m a  government snoop, let me do whatever I want papers.  She flashes them to the werewolves and they’re like, “…Okay?” and nothing changes.

So the point of the last scene? And then it gets proper muddled here and I’m surprised an editor didn’t pick up on this nonsense.

She gives Tunstell the gun, and tells him to send an aethogram.  He asks to whom and Alexia just screams at him to do it.

OKAY THEN!

She tells the werewolf pack to not go into the room where Maccon and LeFoux are and says that Tunstell will totally kill you if you try.  Uhh okay?  Not sure what that’s accomplishing? Also isn’t he supposed to be sending that gram?  Cause that machine is explicitly not in that room.  She tells the werewolves to gather all their Egyptian artifacts into one room while she’s gone.  She then goes up to send that gram and forgets she told Tunstell to do it I suppose?

She finds all the crystalline what-itz smashed up with an unconscious servant there. WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF YOU CHECKED BEFORE BUT I GUESS THAT’S FINE! But she hid away Akeldama’s frequency so she’s able to send a message to Akeldama about doing the research she SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE 2ND CHAPTER.  Akeldama says that Soulless need to be cremated and basically sends her the symbol of the broken ankh.  She asked him if he knew anything several chapters ago and he didn’t but within a half hour he pinpointed the exact information she needed.  Okay cool, cool, makes a load of sense.

So after Alexia talks the death out of it with Sidheag, she realizes that the mummy was a dead soulless.  And, if dead and persevered, will emit a humanization aura. The broken Ankh is a symbol of a soulless, cause an Ankh symbolizes eternal life and it being broken means a soulless can break eternal life blah blah blah.  And like boy howdy, I’m so glad that the drama of this story is predicated on the fact that NOBODY even centuries old vampires and the members of the minority in question knows jackshit about the basics of the world around them.  Every supernatural knows the identity of every soulless, but nobody knows that you gotta burn their dead bodies?  SEEMS LEGIT!

So somebody tells them that LeFoux has woken up and Alexia tells Sidheag to tell no one about the soulless body.  I mean…maybe she should have told her to burn the corpse so they can all have their powers back but that would mean that her husband would wake up.  And her husband must not wake up to find her sexually assaulting another woman. The scandellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Ugh!

Say something nice Faps:

I got fucking nothing for you.

[ifishouldvanish]

Nighthawks, Morningbirds

I’d like to thank everyone who nominated I Must Be Warmer Now for TEAs this year! Here’s a ‘missing chapter’ (or three) that covers the rest of Gold and Lacey’s first official date, picking up where chapter seven leaves off.

Chapter Two

Summary: Rattled by their encounter with Arthur, Gold and Lacey try to salvage what’s left of their night together. Rating: M

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Read on AO3]

Lacey pulls her eyes from the passenger window to look at Gold, and folds her arms over her chest. She's pretty sure it's coming off as more sulky than indignant however, because she feels so small. It had been a while since anyone got under her skin like this, and that asshole Arthur did it in no time at all. So much for not giving a damn.

“What did he mean?” She mumbles.

“...In regard to what?”

“He said that you were bragging about me.”

“Oh.” Gold chuckles. The light from the street passes over his face as they drive, giving her a glimpse of the small smile there. “Dr Hopper— our facilitator— asked me to share something with the group on Friday.” He says. “So I told everyone that I went to the bar and was approached by a fascinating young woman who helped me to see things differently.”

“That all?” She asks meekly.

“No. I also told them that I enjoyed her company very much and hoped to talk to her again.”

“You… you didn’t tell them that we—”

“No, no…” He assures softly. He then blanches when her meaning sinks in. “Of course not! Lacey I—”

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

His eyes dart off of the road for a moment to give her a puzzled look. “...No! Why would you think that?!”

“Most guys are.” She admits with a shrug. It's been true of her experience since returning to Storybrooke. There's no shortage of men seeking her out for some comfort at night, and she knows some of them go as far as bragging about it to their friends. But in the end, nobody wants to actually be seen with her.

“Lacey, I-I-I—” Gold stammers and returns his focus to the road. “I enjoyed the time we spent together. Truly.”

“Everyone else enjoys me too. Doesn't mean they're proud of it or that it means anything.”

Lacey notices his knuckles tightening around the wheel. “I don't know that... proud is the word I'd use.” He says uncomfortably. “But it did mean something. To me. This means something to me.”

She chews her thumbnail and looks out the window. Scoffs. “Of course it does. You haven't gotten any action in six years.”

Lacey isn't exactly expecting a snappy reply, but still finds herself discomfited when one never comes, leaving her cold words hanging heavily over the silence in the car.

She sighs and looks back at him. Light passes over his features again, which are now pinched into a stoic facade. She can see past it though, and underneath it all he looks so hurt. She just doesn't know what to make of anyone showing her kindness and vulnerability.

“I'm… Sorry. That wasn't cool, I— I didn't mean that.”

He remains quiet and she needs to fill the silence with something.

“You just— You didn't have to cut in like that.” She says. “I can stand up for myself.”

“Lacey, that man is my problem. Not yours.”

She rolls her eyes. “I'm sorry—” she snorts, “did I miss the part where he called you a mouthy slag who needs to be put on a leash?”

“No…” Gold sighs and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Just that he and I… we have a sort of history, and I'd rather you not get involved.”

“Bullshit.” Lacey straightens her back and stares at the road ahead. “You've been seeing him an hour a week for what? Six months? History my ass.”

“Fine.” He grunts. “Not him. Men like him.”

Lacey laughs humorlessly. “And you think I don't have a history with assholes?”

“God dammit!” He slams his fist against the steering wheel in frustration. “He reminds me of my father, alright?!”

The car falls silent again, save for Gold's heavy breaths as he simmers down.

“I-I'm sorry.” He stammers. “He just— Every week, I have to listen to that bastard and it's like… I'm back in that flat in Glasgae with him. I just… I needed to say those things, alright? I-I needed to have that much.”

Lacey watches him ease into his seat as the weight of his confession lifts away. “...Okay.” She says, the word coming out as a whisper. “I get it.”

She does, truly. She's lost count of how many men she's kicked and screamed at, using them as surrogates for the real thing. For Gerard and all of his asshole, piece of shit friends. She can't imagine Gold gets half as many chances at that kind of catharsis, nor can she imagine having to spend time every week grouped with someone who reminds her of her abuser. Being encouraged to sympathize with and relate to them. Being told you're not so different from them. That you're there together because you have something in common.

“He deserved worse.” She adds quietly.

“Well, like I said. Getting my son back is more important to me than… retribution.” He says, and his shoulders slouch a little. “It has to be.”

Lacey feels something grip her chest that she supposes could best be described as shame. It's easy for her to be reckless, to not really think about the consequences, because what does she have to lose? Certainly not a child. It's an uncomfortable train of thought, that his problems aren't quite as simple as she made them sound last week, and she doesn't want to dwell on it a second longer.

“I was serious about the foot up the ass, you know.”

With a delayed reaction, Gold scoffs. “I don't doubt that.”

“Seriously. I got no problem spending a night in jail for punching an asshole.” She shrugs. “Just say the word. Call it a public service.”

She catches him smiling, and she can feel the shame in her gut being washed away.

Gold takes a deep breath and sighs. “...I like you, Lacey.” He says softly. “So much already that it terrifies me.”

The thought that he's just as fucked up and confused about this as she is is a mild comfort. “...Me too.”

He takes a hand off the wheel and rests it over the center console. His fingers seem to twitch a little the longer she stares at it there and she realizes he's offering it to her. She slowly laces her fingers in his and he squeezes ever so slightly.

Their hands are still entwined by the time they make it back to Storybrooke. He makes a right onto 3rd and she stirs.

“Where are we—” she shakes her head and wriggles her hand from his. “I thought we were going to your place.”

“We were.” He says. “But— we… you seemed upset?”

“I'm fine.”

“I just thought—”

“Well, you were wrong.” She says. “I'm fine. We can go to your place. I—” She pauses lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. ...I still wanna to go home with you,” she admits reluctantly, “assuming you aren't tired of me yet.”

“Not at all.” He smiles weakly at her and nods. “I… I apologize for snapping. But, I'd like that.”

*****

Lacey’s eyes go wide with awe as Gold invites her into his oversized Victorian. “Shit. You live here all by—” She catches herself and swallows rest of the question.

“...Aye.” He answers dejectedly anyway, shedding his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack.

“It's… it’s really nice?” She offers, stepping into the sitting room and admiring the furniture, the abandoned game of chess, and the shelves full of books and porcelain figurines. “You um, you have a lovely home.” She says, the words falling from her tongue clumsily. It's what you're supposed to say when you visit someone's house for the first time, isn't it? She supposes that if anything, it's a massive understatement.

“...Thank you.” He says with a curt nod.

He glances around the room for a moment as though he hasn't actually looked at it in some time. The house is silent save for the ticking and tocking of a grandfather clock on the far wall, and Lacey recalls the loneliness he described to her the other night. She feels a sadness, imagining him sitting in this room all by himself, day after day, with nothing but the ticking and tocking to keep him company.

Gold presses his lips into a thin line for a moment and shakes his head. “I ah… seem to remember promising you some wine?” He says, putting on a friendly smile and gesturing toward what must be the kitchen.

Lacey follows him closely behind, still taking in her surroundings. Gerard's apartment was big and expensive, but it was also cold and sterile. Gold's home is a work of art; full of beautiful antique pieces that have clearly been chosen by him personally rather than ordered straight from a catalog. She feels like she has no business being in this house. Like a stray animal that has wandered in and is going to be shooed out at any minute.

“What do you like?” He asks, nodding at the massive wine cooler. “Red? White? Rose?”

“I—” Lacey blinks owlishly at it. It must hold about a hundred bottles. “What do you recommend?”

A little smirk tugs at his lips and he approaches the unit. “A cabernet sauvignon ought to pair nicely with that steak.” He says with a humored lilt to his voice, opening the door and sliding a bottle out.

“Sounds good to me.” Lacey shrugs. She watches as he carries the bottle to the counter and retrieves two glasses. He pours not much more than a splash into each one, then carries them over with a smile.

“Try that,” he nods, handing her a glass.

She draws the glass to her lips and hesitates. “Now, when you say try— ”

“You can swallow it.” He chuckles. “Though you’re welcome to spit it out as well. ...I won’t be insulted.” He winks, taking a swig and giving a little hum of approval before swallowing.

Lacey empties her glass and swirls the wine around in her mouth.

It's disgusting.

She immediately spits it back out and scowls, shaking her head.

His eyes are wide with concern for a fleeting moment before he eases into an amused little smirk. “...Not a fan?”

“Sorry, that’s—” She rakes her teeth over her tongue, trying to scrape the unpleasant taste from it. “No.”

He chuckles and takes the glass from her. “We’ll just have to try another, won’t we?” He says, flashing her an understanding smile.

“They can only get better than whatever the hell that was,” she says as he steps away to rinse their glasses in the sink.

“I admit, I’m not much of a wine drinker myself,” he says. “Much prefer my scotch.”

Folding her arms over her chest, Lacey stares into the cooler and scowls. “Then why have all this? Why not just load it with fuckin’ whiskey?”

“Because—” He glances over his shoulder at her, eyes narrowed while a little smirk tugs at his lips. “Come over and try some wine sounds much more romantic than come over and try some hard liquor.” He says, stepping beside her.

“It’d work on me.” She says flatly.

“Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?” He says, peering through the cooler again.

“Not for the wine.”

“Miss French! What are you trying to say?” He teases.

She looks at him, tracing her tongue along her lip, and is satisfied to see him blushing. He quickly looks back at the cooler with unwarranted focus for a moment and gives a small cough.

“Well then, how about this?” He says, sliding out a bottle with a light salmon color to it. “Provence Rose? Crisp, dry, versatile. Fruity notes.”

“Sure.” Lacey shrugs, but she can't help smiling at how adorable he is. He’s so small and refined and gentle and nothing like Gerard or Keith or pretty much any of the other men she’s ever been with, and she can hardly imagine him ever losing his temper and destroying anything in this house.

That's when she notices it: the empty china cabinet that's had its glass panes knocked out.

“I really think you’ll enjoy this one—” Gold says, holding out her glass. He seems to catch her gaze, and follows it to the china cabinet. “...Aye.” He mumbles, looking away in shame. “That’s... The one.”

She promptly takes a swig of her wine, not wanting to upset him by dwelling on the topic of his little transgression. “S’good.” She nods. “I like it.”

He gives her a smile that's equal parts pleased and relieved and takes the glass back. “Good. I’m glad.” He says, walking back to rinse the glasses again.

“So uh… just like, out of curiosity...” Lacey begins, fumbling her hands and stepping up to the cooler. “Which of these did you blow the most cheddar on?”

Gold scoffs. “Hm. That would be the 2005 Château Pétrus, I believe. Four grand.”

“Christ!” She hikes her brows until the sticker shock wears off. After a beat, she looks over her shoulder at him. “...Is it any good?”

“Haven’t opened it yet.” He says with a shrug and walks over. He lets out a huff and reaches into the cooler again, pulling out the Pétrus. “Was saving it for a special occasion, I guess.” He sighs, studying the bottle for a long moment.

Lacey imagines most of this wine was bought for his ex-wife, rather than himself. He's frowning at the bottle, a sort of symbol of the potential his life must have once had, that has since been foreclosed on. But then a faint smile begins to shape his lips.

“...Wedding anniversary, perhaps.” He jokes, but Lacey doesn't laugh. He lets out a scoff and looks up at her with a mischievous grin. “...Would you like to try it?”

Lacey gives him what she's certain is a deer in the headlights look. As curious as she is to find out what a four grand bottle of wine tastes like, she knows she isn't worthy of it. That he'll regret opening it and wasting it on her of all people. “Um… no,” she says, shaking her head, “that’s okay.”

“...C’mon.” He winks. He leans in and slips into a whisper, as if to share a secret. “We’ll toast to something.”

Lacey's skin tingles at his nearness. Nothing about the goofy smile on his face indicates that he's trying to be suave, but he's affecting her regardless and for the first time in too long, she isn’t sure how she feels about it. The thought of sleeping with him again is making her stomach churn with doubt. Not doubt that she wants to, but whether or not she should. “I don’t know.” She mumbles. “I mean, you should um, save it. For a special occasion.”

He frowns and studies the bottle again, knitting his brows in consideration. A smile slowly creeps back to his face and he meets her gaze again. “There's ah... no occasion more special than enjoying good company, aye?”

Lacey chuckles uncomfortably. It's the nicest thing anybody's said to her in ages and the realization makes her feel so pathetic. Her company is good and special and worth celebrating. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, immediately putting it back when she decides she feels too exposed by its absence. “Yeah, I uh, guess you’re right.”

“Excellent.” He nods and saunters off to the counter again with the bottle. “Come, Miss French. You’re going to help me do the honors.”

He pulls a knife from the drawer and swiftly tears the foil off, then twists the corkscrew through. He holds it out to her and gives her an expectant look, inviting her to fold down the levers. She hesitates, but then she remembers what he told her the night she took him home. That all the finery in his home is about his family— affording comfort and luxury to the people he cares about— and he wants to share it with her.

She smiles and pushes the little arms down, unsatisfied when the auger only pulls the cork out halfway.

“Thank you, Miss French.” He says with a little bow before wriggling the cork out the rest of the way with a pop . “You've been a lovely and most invaluable assistant.”

She huffs out a laugh at his corny joke and watches as he pours their glasses again. Their fingers touch as she accepts hers from him and he clears his throat. “To good company?”

Lacey nods and clinks their glasses. “To good company.” She says with her best smile.

They empty their glasses, each watching for the other’s reaction. His brows knit together adorably as he tastes it properly, but Lacey doesn’t feel like it tastes much different from the shit they keep on the bottom shelf at Price Rite . He shrugs and swallows, and she follows suit.

“It’s… good.” She says, more to be polite than anything else. She used to buy the shit on the bottom shelf quite often, after all.

“Hm.” He nods in agreement, seeming only mildly impressed himself. It’s a small relief, knowing she isn’t exactly missing out.

“But—” She nibbles her lip and studies his features for a moment.

He raises a brow. “But...?”

Lacey sets her glass down and traces her tongue along her bottom lip. She slides a hand over his shoulder and steps closer to him. She brushes her lips against his once— twice, before he parts for her and she can taste the wine on his tongue and it's so much sweeter that way. He rests a hand on her waist, squeezing gently before roving around to her back and pulling her closer. She sips every last drop she can from his lips before pulling away and leaving him with a dopey smile on his face.

“...It tastes even better from your mouth.” She says.

His grin widens, growing ever more lopsided. “Does it, now?”

She nods, biting back a smile.

“Well…” He brushes his fingers across her cheek and his eyes dance over her face with such warmth. “Not to challenge your connoisseurship, but I'd like to try that for myself.”

She nods and he returns the favor, and he's so gentle, always so gentle. Her heart flutters in her chest and she has to remind herself to slow down again. Remind herself not to fall too far too fast. She pulls away sooner than she would have liked and shakes her head.

“I'm— I'm pretty tired.” She says, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “I think I'm ready to crash.”

He blinks at the premature ending of their kiss and nods. “...Aye. It’s late, isn't it?” He says, clumsily beginning to recork all of the bottles. “There's a bathroom upstairs— first door on the left— if you care to wash up. I'll ah, find you something to change into?”

*****

Gold's admittedly a little relieved when she settles into his bed right away. He wasn't sure if she'd want to sleep in his room or one of the guest rooms and he was anxious and unsure over how to ask without coming off as too forward. Or too cold. Too something — he doesn't know. He just didn't want her to think he was expecting anything, nor did he want her to feel unwelcome.

“Thanks for— I don't know,” she mumbles as he settles beside her. “I had fun. …Even though that douchebag ruined our dinner and I was a bitch on the way home.”

He’s not really sure what to say to that. All things considered, he thinks their evening recovered pretty nicely. And while she had hurt him during the drive home, he understood she was hurt herself. He settles for giving her a kiss on the shoulder and a simple, “Thank you for inviting me.”

He tries to keep his distance from her at first. But her body is quivering and within fifteen minutes, he finds himself spooned up behind her, sharing his warmth.

“Cold?” He asks in a whisper. “I can get you another—”

“No.” She clips.

“Are you sure? You're shaking—”

“I just wanna fuck.” She says. “At least, my body does.”

“But... you don't want to?”

“I don't know.” She says, fidgeting under the covers. “I don't know how to sleep next to someone without fucking them first.” She mutters sourly. “That's the kind of girl I am, alright?”

He rolls away from her, trying not to pull the covers off of her in the process. “You don't have to sleep with me. I can set you up in one of the guest rooms? I-I can drive you home?”

“No.” She shakes her head and shivers. “I don't wanna sleep alone.”

“Alright.” He sighs, spooning back up to her, enveloping her. “Then you won't.”

She continues to tremble and shake in his arms and he can't stand the thought of her being like this all night. He perfectly understands why she might not want to have sex. He can't blame her after the daunting implications of what she told him in the car. He’s not sure he wants to either. But gods, he just wants her to feel relaxed and warm and safe.

After a moment of hesitation, he presses a kiss to her shoulder and tentatively drags his hand across her abdomen. She squirms and presses her thighs together in response.

“Please, let me.” He offers softly. “...If you don't—”

Lacey lets out a sigh. “...okay.” She mumbles a little reluctantly, starting to roll onto her back for him.

“No, no.” He stops her with a light touch. “You're fine. Just—” He slides his hand between her thighs, finding her warm and wet. “Let me…”

She sighs heavily as he begins stroking her, then inhales sharply when he tucks his hand into her underwear. He combs his fingers through her curls and she shifts a little so she can spread her thighs for him. He pulls himself closer, wrapping himself around her almost protectively.

Lacey’s eyes are on him, studying his face while he uses his fingers to tease and spread her folds. But in his calm, focused state, he can't bring himself to feel self-conscious about it. He slips a finger inside of her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He asks.

She nods and cants her hips into his touch. He plants another kiss to her shoulder and adds another finger, slowly pumping into her. She responds immediately, squirming into him and letting out a stifled moan.

The string of gasps and moans coming from her lips intensifies, and the rolling of her hips quickens. He rests his thumb against her hood, gradually applying pressure to her bud until her body suddenly tightens in his arms.

“That's it,” he whispers and kisses her again, “I've got you…” He continues working over her most sensitive places and she whimpers as each wave of residual tension escapes her body.

He peppers her shoulder with soft kisses as she relaxes, melting back against him with a satiated little moan.

“Better?” He asks, slipping out of her and wiping his fingers along the hem of the shirt he gave her.

She nods and quickly moves to touch him through his bottoms.

“No, no.” He tuts softly, guiding her hand away. “You don't have to— Just go to sleep, lass.”

She mumbles something he can't make out and settles comfortably against him, drifting almost instantly to sleep.

[jheaton416]

Ace and Sep’s Greatest Hits

With Sad Hands and heavy hearts we bid farewell to Ace and Sep's Buffy recaps...  

"I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now." Just then the Hubris Police step in in the form of Rupert Giles and throw a bolt of green energy at Willow, knocking her clear across the room. "I'd like to test that theory," says Giles, all tall and authoritative. Oh, Giles! Hi! I missed you so much this season! We have so much catching up to do! Let's see. I just finished my finals, and I think I did rather well. And I met a very nice boy who just happens to live in England, so when I'm over there this summer, if you wanna hang out or something just let me know. I gotta hand this over to Ace now, but... call me!

Sep, "Two to Go"

Sep: So there I was. At Trader Joe's, and boom. No Booty to be had. And you know my dedication to all things snack.  Ace: I feel your pain. The other night I was at TJ's and they had all these different kinds of Booty from Fruit Booty to Vegetable Booty, but not the Booty that I wanted.  Sep: Yargh. That blows.  Ace: Snerk. So anyway. Ash asked me if I wanted to get one of the other varieties, but I just felt that if I couldn't have the Booty that I wanted, it was better to have no Booty at all.  Sep: Dude. That's deep. And also would have saved me much pain and humiliation in my early twenties.  

There are tiny colonies of single-celled life at the bottom of deep fissures in the sea using their cilia to tell each other, "Buffy used Spike." Can we please move on?

Sep, "Never Leave Me"  

Ecch, I hear a noise like forty cats being squeezed too hard around their middles. Turns out it's Cordelia singing "The Greatest Love of All."

- Ace, "The Puppet Show"  

i dont have time to read all theze post but did u hear what happens in the finale? every vamp and demon that buffy has ever kiled is rezrected and they all sing at spike and angles WEDDING!!!! OMG!!! laterz Sep (Go on. Ban me. I dare you.)

Sep, in the forums  

Aw, Willow is wearing shorts and showing more Willow-leg than I believe we've ever seen. What a cutie. ... Giles finally pipes up that he's sorry he missed the encounter, but he actually sounds like he's sorry these damn kids won't leave him alone so he can pour himself a nice single-malt Scotch and watch that Letty The Lusty Librarian tape he has hidden in his nightstand. ... Dracula wears a sweater vest? Well, I guess that answers the age-old question: "What does Dracula wear under his cape?" Or was that Scotsmen? Who does he think he is anyway, Chandler Bing? ... I would like to point out that Spacky is wearing more eye makeup than the entire female cast combined.

Ace, "Buffy vs. Dracula"  

Credits. Who does James Marsters have to sleep with to be billed before Michelle Trachtenberg and Emma Caulfield? Ooh! Please let it be me. C'mon, if y'all give me James I won't ask for anything else for my birthday or Christmas. What? It worked when I was ten. ... Look! Xander is using a skill! Effectively! As he's building shelves for Giles, I notice that he's attired in jeans and a plain long-sleeved shirt. It looks like after his other half fell into the Gap, he managed to climb out with a basic grasp on the matching theory.

Sep, "Out of My Mind"  

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I love the 'Bot; I really, really do. She's so cute and happy and chirpy and I just know reanimated Buffy is going to be an angst-y pained ball of angst just like she was all last season, and sometimes I wish we could just replace her with the robot permanently. Especially if she keeps making jokes about marzipan.

Ace, "Bargaining I"  

Damn, Marc Blucas makes James Marsters look like a tiny, tiny man. After last week's showcase it's sad, but also amusing, to see Spike reduced to an elfin laundry-stalker.

Sep, "Shadow"  

WARNING: Contents may have shifted during shipping. Oops, that's the wrong warning. The warning is this: This recap contains opinions.

Ace, "Tabula Rasa"  

Evil Dead eh? I'm just going to take that as a shout-out to me and my Evil Dead t-shirt that I ordered out of the Fangoria (shut up) catalog twelve years ago and have been wearing consistently ever since. David Fury must have seen me in it or something. ... Buffy notices Ben sitting somewhere else and goes over to talk to him. Oh GREAT. You know how, whenever there's an outbreak of some sort of nasty infectious disease, during the news reports they often retrace the path of the virus on a map? Well, that's what my mind is doing with Ben right about now. First I only had to live in fear during the hospital scenes. But then he leached into the hospital parking lot. And now that he's just showing up at the Bronze all willy-nilly, he could just ooze on down the road anywhere his little slime trail will take him. Curses. Greasy Intern Ben is spreading. I wonder what his vector of infection is?

Sep, "Crush"  

Tough Love - Or, "The Unedited Buffy You Never Wanted To See." Buffy routes paperwork. Buffy repairs an appliance. Buffy folds laundry. Buffy goes to a parent-teacher conference. Dawn does homework. Dawn does homework some more. Glory practices personal hygiene. The recapper props her eyelids open with spork tines. To spice things up a little, Giles goes all Ripper, Tara goes all Forrest Gump, and Willow goes all Fairuza Balk. The recapper falls asleep and drools on her cat.

Ace, "Tough Love" recaplet  

Spike stumbles, bloody, bruised, and wild-eyed, down the hall to the elevator, and if I weren't a fan of this show and were just flipping by I might think it was a clip from a Behind the Music on Billy Idol.

Sep, "Intervention"  

...Marci needs to find "the key."  ...Darcy or Shannon or whatever her name is  ...Sheila or Lisa or whoever 

Sep describing Glory before her name was revealed, "Family"  

...the guy, who I've decided to call Gee Dub McChoad for no reason whatsoever...

Sep describing Tara's brother, "Family"  

Willow screams, 'Noooooooo,' and a rippling force shoots out of her mouth and zaps Osiris, who vanishes. Oh, the heartbreak of halitosis!

Ace, "Villains"  

My roommate brought home a big pile of Marshmallow Peeps from a post-Easter sale. I took one look at them and screeched, "Peeps show!" before grabbing one, winging it into the microwave, and making "Bamp-chicka-bow-wow" noises while watching the Peep swell and undulate in the microwave. Try it. It's fun. Also, I have in my notes from the first airing of this episode, "Dawn no like monkey-brain marshmallows." I think I'll just leave that in. You'll either find it as amusing as I do or marvel at my illiteracy.

Sep, "Conversations With Dead People"  

Willow incants more at the effigy (who looks like she's ready for a doctor to check her tonsils) and then sends green energy blobs shooting out of her breasts towards Santa's Phallus. It's a lesbian thing -- you wouldn't understand.

Ace, "Grave"  

Cut to Xander chaining Spike up in the basement of Casa Summers. Dawn, Buffy, Wood, Giles, Willow, the UN Security council, three random passersby, and a small hedgehog are all in attendance. Okay, not really, but seriously. The number of people present for this is way unnecessary. Giles, Willow and Buffy will perform the spell. Xander, Dawn and Wood will distribute small snacks and throw Jujubes at Spike's head. ... Spike's mum tells him that he "needs a woman in [his] life." He replies that he does have a woman in his life. She is momentarily taken in, but then realizes that William has some really serious Oedipal issues. Victorian etiquette dictates that it would be in poor taste to mention this, so she pretends to be flattered. He promises to always look after her, but she has a coughing fit, hoping to die and escape her creepy son. Knowing that Spike's women-paragon obsession thing in which he defines himself and his moral center by the dominant female figure in his life started back when Spike was human, and has continued until the present day, really makes me realize how pathetic a creature he truly is. You'd think that after the first hundred years he might have self-actualized or something.

Sep, "Lies My Parents Told Me"  

Let me amend that. It's a long, thick, snake-like demon with a head shaped just like a penis, that squeals at Buffy and then sprays liquid out of its mouth and onto her. Just think about that for a minute.

Ace, "Doublemeat Palace"  

At the Pub the Chuckleheads are sitting around a table strewn with empty beer pitchers, randomly slapping and picking nits off of each other. One of them is trying to remove his shirt but gets his head stuck in it. I can sympathize with him. I've done that -- sober.

Sep, "Beer Bad"  

Rack is creepy. Then about ten more anvils crash into my room, followed by a minor deluge of cow pies as we launch into a trippy-druggy sequence the likes of which has not been seen since The Trip and Psych-Out.

Ace, "Wrecked"  

Willow is wearing what Ace called a poncho, but I think looks more like a tube with no armholes. If anyone remembers the commercial for the plastic device that enabled you to turn a crank and produce miles upon miles of useful and fashionable yarn tubing, well, it looks like that. Either that, or Willow took up knitting but hasn't figured out the secret to sleeves yet. Patrolling against vampires and other night-haunting demons with your arms bound to your sides by an acrylic strait-jacket doesn't seem like a wise move, but what do I know about fashion? Oh, that's right -- a lot more than Willow, obviously.

Sep, "Something Blue"  

Suddenly, my TV screen fills up with a bunch of monkeys, all dressed up in platform sandals, cunning frocks, feather boas, and mascara. They form a menacing circle around Dawn. I think they're all guy monkeys, but y'know, it's a little hard to tell with the simians.

Ace, "Potential"  

It's Cruella D'Will. Heh. That's why she flayed Warren last week. She's making a coat out of him. Man, how much cooler would this episode be if Willow pranced around singing, 'See my vest! See my vest! It was once Warren's chest!' ... This is a test of the Emergency Snorecast System. Everything operational.

Sep, "Two to Go"  

Sunny Valley, Arizona Ace, a beautiful, brainy, and brilliant recapper for TWoP, that world-famous website and recipient of three Nobel Prizes for Internet Criticism, piloted her pink bubble-shaped hovercraft to the landing strip on the roof of her lux penthouse apartment. Slim and clad entirely in her everyday garb of form-fitting leather, she headed quickly to her Operations Control room, stopping only to scratch the chin of her almost-sentient leopard, Francesca. "Follow me, little one," Ace purred to her feline companion, "for tonight we view a new Buffy!" In Operations Control, Ace flung her shapely form onto the low designer sofa and thumbed the remote to her wall-sized liquid television. As the episode progressed, Francesca began to pace the room in agitation, for she had never before seen her merry human companion in such distress. Ace's perfectly manicured nails caressed her flawless face as she murmured, "How will I recap an episode so sorely lacking in plot? An episode that consists mostly of Andrew's fantasies and stolen videotaped vignettes of the Scooby gang? Without a narrative structure to follow, at what point should I mention the disturbing basement sex of the un-reunited Xander and Anya, or the empty and unsatisfying riot occurring at Sunnydale High?" Finally, Ace knelt, and attractively wept into the silken tawny fur of Francesca, "I face my greatest challenge ever! Just as the tears of repentant Andrew closed the Seal of Danzig in the school basement forever, so do my hot tears of rage seal my unrepentant loathing of this season!" Los Angeles, CA The evil genius Jane Espenson cackled evilly as she polished her six-inch chrome stilettos and flipped her shiny titian hair. Whirling menacingly in her secret headquarters beneath Reseda, she flipped open her tiny red Mobicom and hit speed-dial. Upon hearing a voice on the other end of the line, Jane leered and snapped out, "Hello, Joss? I think we've broken Ace already. The tears are the beginning of the end. That'll teach her to complain about Andrew's poor grasp on reality!"

Ace, "Storyteller" recaplet  

The Knights are gonna get the Key, toniiiight! The Scoobies drive a big RV, toniiiight! This year, the minutes seemed like hours The arc progressed so slowly And still no end in siiiight!

Sep, "Spiral" recaplet  

Xander gets snide about what a "simple" decision this must be for Buffy and then leaps up, snarling, "You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all gray area." Hee -- go Xander! I'm not really taking sides in this argument because I think both Buffy and Xander are both right and wrong here, but I really think it needed to be said that Buffy totally put aside all her Slayer standards in order ride Spike's man-pole, and she's never really admitted that to or faced it as far as I can tell. She's mumbled about how it was bad for her, but never seemed to realize what a betrayal of her calling it was. Buffy wins The Lame Comeback Of The Century Award when her only reply is that Spike is "harmless." Harmless except for the whole part where he could and did harm you, Buffy. Nice self-preservation instincts there, honey. Let's kill Anya because she could hurt men. Let's not kill Spike because he can only hurt Buffy. Uh, where was I?

Ace, "Selfless"  

This whole Spike with Buffy thing? My fault. When Angel was on the show, I hated every second of him and his dazed "you can tell I have a soul because I look like I just walked into a tree" method of acting. (Angelus was a different story. A cooler story that didn't spend so much time whining and moping.) Then, when he left, it was like light pouring in through the heavens. I was excited. Happy. I had a new lease on life. I thought, "No matter what, Buffy's next boyfriend won't be so bad." Enter Riley. Riley with his potato nose, thinly-veiled chauvinism, and women issues. And so it was, until it came to pass that Riley endeth. And lo! Happiness reigned far and wide across the land (defined as my apartment), there was much rejoicing, and it was good. Again, I foolishly allowed myself to be confident that this had been the worst. Surely Buffy's next boyfriend...

Sep, "Two to Go"  

ASH is really giving a killer performance here. I wonder how many takes it took for him to stop laughing. His singing sounds very soulful and I'm convinced it's his own voice, just very badly synched. Maybe the sound crew had to work overtime on all the Buffy/Riley moaning and ran out of time for the important things. Bad prioritization, guys. For a whole week following this episode, my poor cat is tortured by me following her around the house and bellowing, "No ooooone knows what it's liiiiike/Toooooo be the baaaad cat/Tooooo be the saaaad cat/Behind blue eeeeeyeees." I swear, one of these days she's going to lose her patience, pack her little kitty suitcase and leave. Well, at least I don't make her watch The Others with me anymore.

Ace, "Where the Wild Things Are"  

Luke is chanting, "The Sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Amen!" Because vampires are such religious creatures. Don't you remember that one heartwarming episode they had when they showed them all going to church? Sure, they wanted to eat the rest of the congregation, but as long as they're worshipping in Glen Oak with the Camdens I really don't have a problem with that.

Sep, "Welcome to the Hellmouth"  

D'Hoffryn introduced himself, and Aud replies, "I am Aud." Hee. That's a funny pun. You know that saying that goes, "Puns are the lowest form of humor"? That always confused me. I mean, I wondered who decided that, and what the highest form of humor was, and why the phrase always seemed to be uttered only by the very humorless, who wouldn't seem qualified to judge. Anyway, this is 2002, and the saying is obviously obsolete. It comes from an older era. An era before the fart joke. Fart jokes are quite clearly the lowest form of humor, and I suggest that we petition the correct powers that be to have the saying updated for modern times. ["The lowest, and yet consistently the most reliable. Hee. Farts." -- Sars]

Ace, "Selfless"  

Willow and Buffy walk up the steps to school, and Xander catches up with them. I'm sorry that I can't recap their conversation, but I'm sure you'll understand once I tell you about Xander's red and moldy green-gray sweater paired with brown and yellow plaid pants. As if that combination wasn't horrific enough on its own, Willow is wearing an orange and yellow striped fleece shirt. It's at times like this that I wish I were blind -- just like the wardrobe people.

Sep, "Passion"  

Ace: "I don't know why Buffy was all surprised when Spike tried to kiss her. That's what you do at the end of a date and drinking, dinner, and pool all add up to a date." Sep: "It totally was a date. My last date ended exactly the same way. Someone threw a wad of cash at someone else, the words, 'You're beneath me' were uttered, and one of us was left crying alone in an alley." Ace: "You've got to be kidding me." Sep: "Actually I am. My last date ended with me threatening my beau with a spork."

Ace and Sep, "Fool for Love"  

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Netjuu no Susume 2 - 3 | Black Clover 2 | Classicaloid 28 | Juuni Taisen 2 - 3 | Code: Realise 2 | Houseki no Kuni 2

I lost Classicaloid after episode 28…good thing I had Girls’ Last Tour on tap. (See Houseki no Kuni’s simulcast commentary for more details on that.)

Netjuu no Susume 2

Aw, I’m not really one for romances, but once again, these guys are making me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Hayashi and his cry emote really get to me – I love bishies who aren’t gung-ho macho.

Sakurai has an email from Comico! LOL!

I’m with Lilac on this love story, LOL.

“Sakura-chan”!!! Oh, it’s so cute. It also probably explains why Sakurai = Lily, eh?

This isn’t a manga, it’s an online manga. Same diff, Hime-chan.

If you pause at Moriko’s email, you’ll see it’s riddled full of keigo (polite language).

Sakurai Yuuta voiced by Sakurai Takahiro, LOL. Didn’t notice that the first time around.

It’s staying on, even if for just warm fuzzies.

Netjuu no Susume 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time and…it’s actually pretty good! It fits the entire cute aesthetic of the show.

Irina was only just talking about this.

I’ve heard people call Moriko Morimori-chan across the ‘net and I didn’t understand it until Koiwai said it just then. Nicknames mean you’re uber close in Japanese terms.

I had the volume on while Koiwai and Morimori-chan (LOL) had their chat and I couldn’t hear her cry. So much for Mamiko Noto being a top-notch seiyuu, eh?

LOL, Koiwai’s so fun as a character.

Eyyyyyyyyyy. This green counter boy is probably Kanbe. You can tell by the hair colour!

Is Li-chan Lilac or Lily?

LOL, the Rose of Versailles parody is too good.

A…dog PUG? Apparently not. Never played WoW, of course I wouldn’t know the term.

Oh, I preempted the show’s caption. These sorts of captions were used in Superstar wa Nemurenai too, so this feels nostalgic in a sense.

I know the feel, Lily. I’ve been in online arguments before (you’ll see in previous simulcast commentaries I cite the magicalgirlsandcerulean one a lot).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! These too-cute-for-this-world characters steal my heart againnnnnnnnnnn!

Interesting that Nico is called just that in the credits.

Black Clover 2

That very scribbly handwriting appears to be…English. Mostly correct English, to boot.

Someone decided on sakuga this ep, it seems…

Okay, I think I’ve had enough echo reverb for a lifetime. That’s going on hold.

Classicaloid 28

Ah, the new OP. Same song, Dovo-chan + “Wataru”, a few new staff…but otherwise, same old, same old. That’s what I like.

Oh, I almost missed the sign that says “Place all used tableware in the sink – Kanae”. Thanks, subbers.

Huh. The word “respect” is teinei, which technically means “politeness”. But “respect” works better in context, I guess.

Sometimes, Beet says things that actually make sense + are quotable. Get me some quotes of this man (LOL).

This shopping list stuff, if it isn’t something you’ve done for your family already, is normally something for kids in Japan as part of fostering independence. So, I think Wa-kun’ll be the winner here.

Garland chysanthemum is the only one of these I’m unfamiliar with. Apparently in Japanese, it’s called shingiku, which would correspond to those kanji I saw on the shopping list.

Why is Dovo-chan going with Wa-kun? (LOL?)

There’s a coffee shop called Mogura (mole) behind Liszt in one scene.

Wa-kun reminds me a lot of the Beppus (Boueibu). Seriously, we need a comparison of those three.

Symphony No. 7. The Allegretto seems to be stirring some memory in me, but I can’t seem to detect what particularly or why it does. However, Wikipedia does note Wagner liked it. In fact, Wagner admired it.

Yup, Pad-kun. That’s (the bit about “apotheosis of dance”) the bit Wikipedia says.

I think the hippo -> idiot joke works better in Japanese (kaba -> baka, it’s a reversal of syllables).

See? Wa-kun is like the Beppus! Lookit that boy blush.

How does one spell “yeah” anyway? I swear I’ve seen 2 or 3 variants of the word alone…

Oh, Schu-san wasn’t around this episode. He got taken away by the kite strings like last time, come to think of it. Admittedly, I think I liked Schu better when he wasn’t a rapper, although apparently this time he’s going to go into reggae, judging by the rasta cap he had in the OP.

Ohh, a goukon I see. It’s translated as “singles’ party”, but…well, let’s say it’s a little more complicated than that. “Singles’ party” translates sufficiently, but goukon have certain connotations to them that make them uniquely goukon, much like sushi needs vinegared rice to be sushi, anime needs to be at least partially made in Japan and so on.

Juuni Taisen 2

I think Nezumi being sleepy is a pun (neru -> to sleep).

Oh, hey. They do look like the Justice League.

By the by, this OP is called “Rapture”. Not “Rupture”, even though that would sound more appropriate in some contexts.

The CGI models at the end of the OP look like figures. Either I give you my money for good quality versions of those or you…shouldn’t waste your time, Graphinica. (Especially the Tatsumi bros.)

The title of this episode literally translates to “chicken cry, dog steal”. I dunno what idiom’s behind it, so I’ll leave that to the subbers.

Well, a manhole is one way to lay low…

“Old Timer”. Good pun there.

Knowing the Beppus, I’d say the Tatsumi was talking about his bro and not Inou.

Well, that was a bit too much blood. Good thing is wasn’t as bad as King’s Game.

Finally, an Ume show I can really kick back and not worry about! Young Black Jack and a lot of shows I go into for Ume are normally shams or locked out by licensing, so I’m finally psyched to get a proper Ume show to back.

Uuma walking through the turnstiles was…pretty funny, actually. (LOL.)

How does one out-crazy Rabbit, with his high heels and booty shorts???

Well, as they say, when an unstoppable object meets an unmoving force, kaboom! (Or…something like that…)

According to the manga, Dotsuku was a teacher. Can you really imagine that though? Dotsuku, a teacher??? Of little kids???

Note Niwatori is shown with science things. She must know some stuff about Dotsuku’s poisons too, although she probably didn’t expect them. Update: Read ahead, and let’s say I’m right about one thing and wrong about another.

I wonder which Tatsumi bro is the NEET and which is the gambler…

Rabbit home boy’s too good, but Ushii and his fluffy jacket are better.

Nezumi and Twelve Mart, LOL.

Juuni Taisen 3

I read up on some spoilers for this…so I’m only just keeping abreast of some of you guys out there. However, the TV Tropes page notes that the OP shows who the winner of the Taisen is if you pay close attention…

Ugh, I love Nezumi and Ushii too much. Mah Ume-boy is good as gold – this is a step up, considering I’ve started some very bad anime because of Ume-chan – but even though I don’t know Shun Horie very well, I like me a bishie like that too! (Horie’s a tad quiet, but otherwise he’s pretty good too.)

It was much clearer that Niwatori was affected by the One Man Army even during her meetup with the Monkey in the manga, so…yeah. I’ll give it that much.

Silly name of “Cockscomb” aside, that’s the name of Niwatori’s spading fork. Cockscomb.

I’m properly listening to the OP and ED for the first time, but I like the ED more than the OP. Probably because the Justice League is funny but the ED’s casual stuff is better.

Oh, there’s a post-credits scene. Keep watching.

Oh, that’s…pretty powerful stuff, Niwatori. Wowee, Juuni Taisen’s got the mark of a high ranker, from its staff to its OP and ED quality. Tough competition this season, as I keep saying.

“Even a monkey can fall from a tree.” – That’s a kotowaza meaning “Even experts fail sometimes”, which is an important adage for this show.

Sharyuu was taught by sages, so that comment is interesting, Duodecuple…or Horse…or whoever’s narrating this.

The pun in the next ep title is something to do with the word saru (monkey). Noting that saseru is a thing in Japanese, maybe saru is a shortened form of that Nisio Isin wanted to cash in on…?

Update: I finally figured out Dotsuku’s pun! Make the tsu smaller, give the ku a tenten and you have…the katakana pronunciation for dog!

Code:Realise 2

Get me a man like Impey and I’ll be set for life, LOL.

“If you touch me, you’ll melt.” – The juxtaposition of Cardia’s sadness with a punchline makes for something very interesting, indeed.

Saint??? Is that his first name or his title?

These ornaments on Finis and the queen – the pseudo-Chinese or Japanese ones – stand out a bit compared to all the steampunk stuff.

Oh, dearie me. The cars and carriages in this are CGI and it shows.

“…Baron Gilford Dudley and party.” – LOL.

“He loves his food too.” – I’d assume ths subject of this is Sisi, but the way this sentence was framed made it sound like Impey loves his food too. Which seems to be true, since Impey likes cooking.

These really bright scenes are kinda sudden. They don’t quite work with the rest of the show, and that’s because they’re probably stills you collect in the game.

I keep thinking this dude with the guns is Fran. Geez, it’s quite the bad case of Six Same Faces…however, this one has purple eyes while Fran’s are green.

C’mon! Stockinged legs aren’t that indecent, Lupin. I know you run by Victorian London standards, but still.

Okayyyyyyyyy. Vampire hunter fits the theme of historical fictional bishies, but…you really don’t imagine Van Helsing to look like this. Just sayin’.

The glowy blood was probably unnecessary…

I feel like I should put this on hold, just to be on the safe side. That means the lineup is settled. I’ll update the sheet when I can...eesh though. There’s some tough competition this season…

Houseki no Kuni 2

The two moons are a nice touch.

This OP is way cool. It’s such a visual spectacle.

By the way, I’ve heard good things about Girls’ Last Tour so I may binge it next month (November) and it may even challenge for one of the top spots.

Uh, cleavage? Not to use a dirty joke here, but gems are androgynous. They have no cleavage, so to speak.

Oh, Dia’s fighting style is like baseball. I see.

Huh. I should really write about identity and belonging in this series. Dia’s a really interesting character, pretty much denying their own name and nature because they see Bort as the “true diamond”.

“…tried to lend a hand.” – Oh, the irony of you missing a hand, Dia.

Notice Phos is still holding Dia’s hand as she talks with Jade and Euc.

Holy snails, Batman! Arima (Boueibu) wouldn’t like this for sure…

Wow, this truly is a new innovation in anime. Certainly, traditional animation can’t do this.

Wowee, this ED is something else. As I said, it’s tough competition this season. Girls’ Last Tour may even just miss out for the ground-breaking nature of this show alone, even though Kado is its precedent 3D-wise (and on the 3D front, I accepted that very well).

[annajamesjournalist-blog]

Can thrillers really be feminist?

For The Pool

There is a dead woman. She is bloodied and battered. She’s probably naked, she’s almost definitely beautiful. A ruggedly handsome detective with a dark past stands over her and shakes his head at the sadness of it all. A steely look enters his eyes as he resolves to avenge this horrible waste of female flesh.

The above may read as sarcasm, but it’s an all too familiar opening for the crime genre. All stats seem to show that thrillers are overwhelmingly read by women and yet we still have to regularly negotiate the uncomfortable or downright problematic treatment of women and women’s bodies. But, increasingly, people are saying enough is enough. The team adapting Robert Galbraith/JK Rowling’s Cormoran Strike books for TV have recently publicly criticised the “voyeuristic level of violence against women” in TV dramas. And, when it comes to books, there is an increasingly noisy collection of female characters wielding axes, cocktails and secrets, and an ever-deepening pool of writers questioning whether there’s another way to explore our darkest fears without having to sacrifice any feminist principles.

There’s still a strangely intense fascination with women who write crime and thrillers; still regular thinkpieces, even documentaries, where women writing about violence are treated a little like dogs walking on their hind legs. It smacks uncomfortably close to the rather Victorian belief that women couldn’t be surgeons because of their constitutions, as if dealing with blood coming out your vagina once a month would make you more, rather than less, squeamish. And, despite this, more and more male writers are writing under genderless or even outright female names. Author Martyn Waites describes the books he writes as himself as “more complex, more metaphorical, the kind of things things I like in writing” whereas (although it’s unclear if these are Waites or the journalist's words) when he writes as Tania Carver, the books are “simpler” and “more mainstream”.

Last year, Terrence Rafferty wrote a piece for The Atlantic called “Women Are Writing The Best Crime Novels”. The title of the article is deceptively positive and, among his praise for specific books, the piece is full of frustrating, patronising assumptions about female writers and readers. Even though it’s male writers choosing to write under female pseudonyms, apparently it’s “a bunch of very crafty girls” sneaking in, redefining the genre. On the subject of recent megahits like The Girl On The Train, Rafferty goes on to explain that “writers of the current school tend to favour a volatile mixture of higher-pitched first-person tones: hectoring, accusatory, self-justifying, a little desperate. Reading these tricky 21st-century thrillers can be like scrolling through an especially heated comments thread on a web site of wandering unaware into a Twitter feud”. Leaving aside that the horrors of comment threads or Twitter trolls are distinctly male-dominated, the language used here shows that, even very loosely masquerading as praise, there’s a deep discomfort with the way women have changed the crime and thriller market.

But, as with many things, peel away the layer of men making things weird (#notallmen) and you have a lot of women (and some men) getting on with actually interrogating what writing a feminist thriller really means. Erin Kelly’s latest book, He Said/She Said, revolves around a Ched Evans-esque rape trial, after a couple see what appears to be a sexual assault during an eclipse at a festival. The book grew from the idea of a crime taking place during an eclipse, not the desire to write a feminist thriller, but as Kelly says, “It must be feminist, because I’m getting emails from Men’s Rights Activists telling me that I’m a rabid man-hater.”

Kelly’s book explores sexual assault head-on; it’s at times a difficult book to read, but it shows that thrillers can tackle these things without slipping into gratuitous descriptions of violence against women. “The best thrillers don’t deny the female condition, but hit the sweet spot between exploiting real-life victims for cheap thrills and turning a novel into a morality play. I agonised over using an allegation of rape as a plot device,” Kelly says. “More so than I ever have when writing a murder. But for every sensitive, thoughtful examination of rape in fiction there are literally thousands of raped and murdered and mutilated women whose victimhood is little more than a plot device. I knew I was treading on eggshells, but I walked with incredible care. I researched this book more thoroughly than anything else I’ve ever written.”

Ruth Kenley-Letts, the executive producer for Strike, said “great efforts had been taken to treat the crimes against female victims with sensitivity on screen” and it’s something book editors are increasingly sensitive too as well. “It’s a tough one,” Sam Eades, a commissioning editor at Orion, says. “It’s important for fiction to reflect the society we live in – and violence against women happens to those we love and care abou – but that’s not to say I wouldn’t love to read a thriller that explored the world how it could be, not just as it is now.” Alison Hennessey, a commissioning editor for crime at Bloomsbury, has issued a blanket ban on books that start with the rape or murder or a woman being investigated by a male detective: “There are enough of these books out there already, and enough violence in the world, frankly, that I’m not interested in contributing more to that unless the book was doing something to explore why this happens.”

I can’t help but think of the people who defend the level of sexual violence in Game Of Thrones by saying it’s historically realistic, or that’s just what would have happened in a society like that, even though it’s a society where there is also magic and dragons. Art in whatever form is important because it lets us explore how we feel and react to the real world, and yet it is fiction – it does not have to do or be anything. But if fiction is where we explore life, thrillers are where we explore fear. They arguably don’t work if they’re not tense, uncomfortable reads. I had to stop reading He Said/She Said at several points to calm down, and I worked myself up into a righteous fury reading Little Deaths by Emma Flint – but at what was going on in the story, not because of the way the writer was handling it. “I don’t know a single woman who has never been made to feel threatened or afraid,” Flint says. “Our real-life experience gives an extra frisson of terror to reading about a woman being followed home, a woman who has a stranger sit next to her in an otherwise empty train carriage. We are used to being afraid that we will become victims.”

So, it’s not that these subjects shouldn’t be tackled in thrillers (as Kelly says, “I read this shit on my phone every day – not to explore it is just another kind of silencing”) – it’s how to skirt a very delicate line without tipping into gratuitous and exploitative presentations. How do you write a book about people doing awful misogynistic things without writing an awful misogynistic book? There’s no easy checklist of how to make a thriller feminist, and everyone has their own definition of what that means. But, as Kelly says: “I think any novel that makes the reader think seriously about the fact that women still cannot move through the world with the same ease as men can be read as feminist. Sometimes the authorial intent to write a feminist novel is clear, but with crime fiction it’s more of a Trojan horse. Big Little Lies arguably got more women examining their prejudices about domestic abuse than a Guardian editorial.”

Here are a few of our favourite feminist thrillers to try:

THE POWER BY NAOMI ALDERMAN It would be impossible to not mention the book that won this year’s Baileys Prize. A tense, blistering, darkly humorous look at what might happen if women suddenly became the physically stronger sex. It’s impossible to read it without interrogating your own perspective on gender.

LITTLE DEATHS BY EMMA FLINT A startlingly insightful, intelligent read about the way society closes its walls against women who are not what they are asked to be and the way the patriarchy is terrified by the women it cannot control, and how far it will go to reassert that control.

HE SAID/SHE SAID BY ERIN KELLY A pageturner that tackles sexual assault head-on. When a couple witness what seems to be a rape during an eclipse, they get embroiled in a court case and the lives of the two people affected. It always puts plot and character first, but isn’t afraid to interrogate how we decide who we believe and who to trust.

PULL ME UNDER BY KELLY LUCE Coming out next month, this scratches at the edge of the genre, as there is no trail of bodies or plot twists. Instead, it’s a tight, intense portrait of one woman’s psychological state as she tries to leave behind the legacy of a horrifying act she committed as a 12-year-old. A sharp literary read about guilt and anger.

OUT BY NATSUO KIRINO From one extreme to the other, this shocking, violent crime novel follows four female friends working together in a factory who band together to try and cover up the murder by one of them of their abusive husband, and things escalate from there. One for readers who like their biting feminist commentary with some dismemberment.

THE WOMAN WHO RAN BY SAM BAKER While it’s a little awkward to mention a book by the co-founder of the site, a list of feminist thriller recommendations would be incompletely without this modern take of Anne Brontë’s The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall. Not quite a retelling, but playing with Brontë’s themes of gossip, broken relationships and carving out your own identity.