#but see the thing is that her just saying that doesn’t change anything.

[capquinn]

Sünneli | N. Hischier

summary: when nico holds his baby girl for the first time, it feels like the world has rearranged itself around her. she was born with the sun, slipping into the world as it woke, and before he even realises it, he's giving her a name that feels like it was always meant to be hers... pairing: nico hischier x reader content: dad!nico, fluff word count: 1.3k note: i finally birthed my teeny tiny dad!nico au. hope u enjoy cutie pies <3 ↪masterlist

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The hospital room is quiet, bathed in the soft golden light of early morning, the world outside just beginning to wake. The air is still, thick with the kind of hush that lingers after something monumental, something life-changing.

Just a few hours ago, his entire world shifted.

His baby girl was born.

The night had blurred into dawn, exhaustion hanging heavy in the space, but Nico? He doesn’t feel it. He hasn’t stopped looking at her since she was placed in his arms, like his body physically won’t let him look away.

He’s completely wrapped up in her, holding her with a care so instinctual it’s like he was made for this. She’s so small, so impossibly new, her features delicate and soft beneath the warm glow of the sun spilling through the window. His hand — large and steady, his grip still carrying the faintest tremor of disbelief — rests over her tiny back, his thumb tracing slow, gentle strokes against the fabric of her swaddle.

His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks, so soft it barely carries beyond the space between them. He murmurs to her in Swiss, the words slipping from his lips low and full of quiet awe.

"Du bisch so perfekt," he breathes, his lips brushing against the top of her head, lingering there for a moment as if he can’t quite believe she’s real. You are so perfect. "So schön, so klein…" So beautiful, so small...

He rocks her without thinking, the motion smooth and rhythmic, his body moving on instinct to soothe her, to keep her close. Her tiny breaths are warm against his chest, her little mouth occasionally forming sleepy, barely-there movements, like she’s dreaming. Like she knows she’s home. And Nico thinks he could stay like this forever — just holding her, memorising the weight of her in his arms, the way she feels right there, pressed against his heartbeat.

For the first time since she arrived, the room feels still. The tension, the exhaustion, the rush of the last few hours — it’s melted into something softer now, something full and quiet and settled.

He lets out a slow breath, glancing over at you, expecting to find you asleep at last. But you’re awake—exhausted, yes, but completely wrapped up in the moment, watching him with an expression so full of love it makes his breath catch.

He doesn’t say anything, just holds your gaze, his arms tightening ever so slightly around the tiny bundle in his chest, like he’s silently sharing this feeling with you. You both stay like that for a moment, bathed in the soft glow of dawn, the weight of everything settling between you.

You look so tired, but there’s a warmth in your eyes, something Nico knows he’ll carry with him forever. You fought so hard to bring her into the world, gave everything to make this moment possible, and now you’re here, looking at him like he’s holding the most precious thing in existence. Because he is.

His lips twitch into the softest smile, small but full of love. He shifts slightly, adjusting your baby girl against his chest, as if to say, "look at her. Look what we made."

And he doesn’t have to say it out loud — because you are looking. And you see it. See him. See the way he’s holding her like she’s the most fragile, most important thing he’s ever touched. See the way his whole world has clicked into place, like this is who he was always meant to be, like fatherhood isn’t something new but something he was always waiting to step into, something written into his very being.

You watch as his lips part, like he wants to say something but can’t quite find the words. Instead, he exhales softly, voice barely more than a breath.

"Thank-you."

Two simple words, but they wreck you.

It’s the way he says them — quiet, thick with emotion, like they hold everything he can’t put into words. Like he’s not just thanking you for this moment, for the little life curled against his chest, but for everything. For every day you spent carrying her, for every exhausted breath, for bringing her into the world, for changing his forever.

His heart swells, stretching wide, impossibly full, spilling over with something bigger than words, bigger than him. His breath shudders, his throat tightens, and before he can stop it, his eyes burn with the threat of tears.

He blinks quickly, tilting his head slightly, gaze shifting toward the window as he tries to steady himself, to catch his breath.

The early morning light spills into the room, golden and soft, stretching across the floor, casting warm edges over the bed, over you, over her. The world outside is waking slowly, painted in delicate hues of pink and orange, dawn easing into full daylight.

But even as he stares out at the horizon, he can still feel her — the gentle weight of her against his chest, the warmth of her tiny body snug against his.

And somehow, that makes it worse. Makes it more.

Like the feel of her, the reality of her pressed so close, amplifies everything. Every emotion swells, raw and overwhelming, catching in his throat. His love for her, for you, for this moment — it’s too much and somehow not enough, all at once.

He glances down again, eyes still damp, heart still aching, and there she is. So small. So new. So impossibly perfect.

And it hits him.

She was born with the sun, slipping into the world as it woke, as if she already belonged to it.

And then, without thinking, the words just come, soft and instinctive.

"Mein Sünneli."

He doesn’t even register that he said it — too caught up in the way she stirs slightly against him, making the tiniest, warmest little sound. His heart aches with it, with how much he loves her, with how much he already belongs to her.

It isn’t until you speak — your voice quiet, amused, full of warmth — that he blinks, finally glancing up at you.

"Sünneli?" you repeat, the word unfamiliar on your tongue, tilting your head slightly as you shift against the pillows, exhaustion still weighing on you.

His brows furrow for a second, like he’s trying to replay the moment in his head, and then it clicks. He glances back down at her, at the way the first light of the morning spills over her tiny, perfect features.

A small, breathy chuckle escapes him, barely there. His fingers brush gently over the fine, downy hair on her head, his voice nothing more than a whisper as he answers.

"Little sun."

He looks back at you then, something so tender, so unshakable in his expression, like there is no other name in the world that could ever fit her the way this one does.

"She’s my little sun."

And that’s it. From that moment on, she’s Sünneli.

It comes so naturally, like it was always meant to be hers. He calls her that again later, when the room is quiet and still, just the soft hum of the world outside, the warmth of her tiny body resting against his bare chest. His fingertips trace the impossibly small curve of her hand, following the gentle rise and fall of her breaths, and the word falls from his lips like second nature, like a prayer whispered just for her.

He says it the next morning too, when she stretches in his arms, letting out the tiniest, sleepiest sound that destroys him, her little face scrunching up before settling again. He presses his lips to her head, breathes her in, and murmurs it against her soft skin.

And every single day after.

Sometimes it’s Sünneli, whispered into her hair as he rocks her in the quiet of the night. Other times, it’s Sunny, slipping easily into English, spoken with a soft smile as she blinks up at him, eyes round and curious, tiny fingers wrapping around his.

No matter which language, no matter how many years pass, it never changes. Because from the moment she entered the world, she was his — his light, his warmth, his brightest, warmest thing.

His little sun.

[ayumigotabittoolonely]

"He probably hates me" x "I love her so much "

{teen nanami x teen reader fluff series!}

Last part - The confession that wasn't supposed to happen!

Previous part - the mission mishap

💌💌

You weren’t nosy.

Okay, maybe you were a little nosy. But in your defense, it wasn’t your fault that you overheard the conversation. You were just there. Existing. Standing in the hallway, minding your own business, when you heard Nanami’s voice.

And because your brain had decided that everything about him was worth paying attention to, you… paused. Just for a second.

"I don’t see the point in this."

You recognized the tone immediately Nanami’s classic, tired, I-hate-everything-about-this voice.

"You never see the point in anything fun," Haibara shot back. "I’m just saying, you could, y’know, talk to her."

Your stomach twisted. You had a very bad feeling about this.

"That would be unnecessary," Nanami said.

You frowned. What would be unnecessary?

"Unnecessary?" Haibara snorted. "You like her, dude. It’s so obvious it’s painful."

Your breath caught.

Wait. Wait.

There was a long, stretched silence. For a moment, you thought hoped Nanami might correct him. Might say something you could brush off, laugh about later, pretend it meant nothing.

But instead-

"I know," Nanami murmured.

And just like that, your heart flipped upside down.

Haibara made a choking sound. "Holy—you’re actually admitting it?!"

Nanami sighed. "It doesn’t change anything."

You couldn’t breathe.

"You’re so hopeless, man." Haibara groaned. "Why don’t you just tell her?"

There was another pause, and when Nanami spoke again, his voice was lower. Quieter.

"Because she thinks I hate her."

Your chest tightened.

Haibara scoffed. "Well, yeah. You’re kinda bad at what’s the word? human emotions."

"I’m aware," Nanami muttered.

"Then fix it," Haibara said, exasperated. "Before she actually moves on and you have to spend the rest of your life being an emotionally constipated sorcerer who let the love of his life slip away.(Not me roasting him)

Nanami exhaled sharply. "That’s dramatic."

"Not as dramatic as you."

You could barely focus anymore. Your brain was stuck on one thing one ridiculous, unbelievable thing.

Nanami liked you.

Not tolerated. Not put up with. Not found mildly acceptable.

He liked you.

The realization hit like a wrecking ball, knocking the air straight out of your lungs.

Which was exactly why your foot accidentally nudged the doorframe.

The voices inside went silent.

Crap.

"…Did you hear that?" Haibara asked.

Double crap.

You turned to flee, but before you could make your great escape, the door slid open and there stood Nanami, staring at you with a look that was somewhere between horrified and resigned.

Busted.

You opened your mouth, scrambling for an excuse, a joke, anything but Nanami just sighed, running a hand down his face.

"Of course," he muttered. "Of course you were standing there."

Haibara, meanwhile, was grinning like an idiot. "Well. This is awkward."

You swallowed hard, meeting Nanami’s gaze. "So… you don’t hate me?"

He sighed again. "No. I don’t."

"You-" You exhaled, something bubbling in your chest. "You like me?"

Nanami hesitated. Then, with all the reluctance in the world, he nodded. "Yes."

Silence.

Then—

"Finally!" Haibara threw his hands in the air. "I thought I was gonna have to force a confession out of you two!"

You barely heard him. Your heart was still racing, your hands curled into fists to stop them from shaking. "You absolute idiot," you breathed.

Nanami blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You let me think you hated me?" you demanded. "This whole time?"

Nanami looked away. "I didn’t know how to-"

"You-" You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. Then, without thinking, you grabbed his tie and yanked him forward.

And kissed him.

It was quick. Messy. Desperately overdue.

Nanami froze for half a secondbthen melted into it, his hands hovering before finally settling on your waist. His lips were warm, careful, uncertain as if he couldn’t believe this was happening.

When you finally pulled back, you stared at him, heart pounding. "Next time," you huffed, "just tell me."

Nanami exhaled, dazed. "Right."

Haibara whistled. "Holy crap. That was hot."

You and Nanami both turned to glare at him.

Haibara just grinned. "You’re welcome, by the way."

Nanami sighed. "Go away."

But despite the exasperation, despite everything there was a tiny, tiny smile ,playing at the corners of his lips.

And for the first time in forever, you realized Nanami Kento had never really been good at emotions.

But when it came to you, he was willing to try.

I know it was short but I wanted to make it simple, short and cute 😭

I'll make a longer series of Suguru geto SO COMMENT DOWN TO GET TAGGED!

@cheriiepies

[The End]

[00valentina-writes00]

Can you write hcs of loser Ellie with loser reader please and thank you🙏🏼

✞⛧ Dating Loser!Ellie While Being a Loser Too ✞⛧

✞⛧ You and Ellie are the type of losers who accidentally ignore each other’s texts for days, not out of malice, but because you both get lost in your own worlds—her with her guitar, you with whatever hyperfixation you’ve picked up that week. When you finally respond, it’s always a flood of memes, random thoughts, and dramatic apologies

✞⛧ The both of you overthink everything. If Ellie takes too long to respond, you start wondering if she secretly hates you. Meanwhile, Ellie is literally staring at her phone, panicking about whether her last message was too weird.

✞⛧ Your dates are always the most awkward but endearing messes. You both show up way too early, then spend ten minutes pretending you just happened to be there already.

✞⛧ Both of you are absolutely awful at flirting. If either of you try, it’s just stuttering, bad jokes, and Ellie turning bright red before changing the subject completely.

✞⛧ You’re both socially anxious, so whenever you have to order food, you’ll nudge each other like, “You do it.” “No, you do it.” “Ellie, please, I can’t talk to the cashier.”

✞⛧ Ellie definitely does that thing where she hovers near you but doesn’t say anything, hoping you’ll start the conversation so she doesn’t have to figure out how.

✞⛧ You catch each other staring constantly but both pretend like it never happened. Ellie gets caught mid-gaze and immediately looks away like she just got burned.

✞⛧ When she gets flustered, she starts rambling and overexplaining everything, then immediately groans into her hands because why did she say that?

✞⛧ You both have the worst habit of making plans and then spending the whole day hoping the other person cancels because socializing is hard, but then you see each other and suddenly it’s the best day ever.

✞⛧ Ellie always tries to impress you with her guitar skills, but if you hype her up too much, she gets all bashful and starts pretending like she’s not internally screaming from happiness.

✞⛧ You both suck at compliments. Whenever one of you says something nice, the other just stands there awkwardly before mumbling something incoherent in response.

✞⛧ Both of you are clingy but pretend not to be. If one of you pulls away first after a hug, the other spends the rest of the day sulking.

✞⛧ Whenever Ellie zones out, you know she’s just deep in thought about something dumb, like “Could a clicker learn to ride a horse?” and she will absolutely share it with you like it’s the most profound thing ever.

✞⛧ Your inside jokes make zero sense to anyone else, and half of them started from one of you mispronouncing something stupid once.

✞⛧ Neither of you can handle eye contact for too long. If you actually lock eyes for more than five seconds, you both break out into nervous giggles.

✞⛧ You both suck at confrontation, so if you ever get into a small argument, it’s just passive-aggressive meme exchanges until one of you caves and apologizes.

✞⛧ Ellie absolutely overthinks gift-giving. If she wants to give you something, she’ll spend days debating whether it’s the right thing before awkwardly shoving it into your hands and running away.

✞⛧ When Ellie gets jealous, she swears she’s not jealous, but suddenly she’s extra clingy and definitely standing closer than usual, glaring at whoever is talking to you.

✞⛧ You both have the most chaotic but wholesome cuddling dynamic. Ellie wants to be the big spoon but ends up tangling herself around you like an anxious cat instead.

✞⛧ If either of you tries to be seductive, it just turns into immediate regret and embarrassment. Ellie once tried to call you baby in a sultry voice and immediately cringed so hard she had to leave the room.

✞⛧ You both struggle with basic romantic gestures. Holding hands? Sweaty palms. Saying “I love you”? Nervous stammering. Kissing? An awkward head bump before you finally get it right.

✞⛧ Ellie makes playlists for you but never tells you outright—it’s just one day you notice she keeps humming certain songs when you’re around.

✞⛧ The first time you kissed, it was supposed to be cute and romantic, but Ellie was so nervous she missed and kissed the corner of your mouth instead. She still cringes when she remembers it.

✞⛧ If you ever wear her hoodie, Ellie has to physically restrain herself from losing her mind. She’ll act casual, but internally, she’s malfunctioning.

✞⛧ Both of you have the most intense silent conversations with just looks alone, which confuses everyone else but makes perfect sense to you.

✞⛧ Ellie lives for forehead kisses but gets so embarrassed admitting it. The first time you kissed her forehead, she literally short-circuited.

✞⛧ If you ever send her a risky text, she immediately throws her phone away and refuses to look at it for an hour.

✞⛧ You both laugh way too hard at the dumbest jokes, to the point where people think you’re drunk when you’re just stupid in love

✞⛧ Neither of you knows how to take a compliment. Ellie once tried to accept one gracefully but ended up saying “Thanks, I found it on the ground” about her own face.

✞⛧ Ellie loves sneaking up behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist, but if you ever do it to her, she literally collapses from weakness.

✞⛧ When she sleeps over, you both pretend you’re gonna go to bed early, but it turns into hours of lying there talking about the most random, stupid things.

✞⛧ Ellie lives to fluster you. If she ever gets bold enough to tease you, it’s her greatest accomplishment, even if she gets shy immediately after.

✞⛧ If you get sick, Ellie becomes way too worried, acting like you’re on your deathbed even if it’s just a mild cold.

✞⛧ You both have this awkwardly intense tension whenever you sit too close, but neither of you knows what to do with it, so you just suffer in silence.

✞⛧ Ellie would rather die than let you think she’s bad at something, so if you challenge her at a game or task, she will overcommit, even if it’s something ridiculous.

✞⛧ If you ever send her a really heartfelt text, she immediately starts overanalyzing her response to make sure she sounds just as cool and sincere (she fails).

✞⛧ Ellie definitely has a notebook filled with little sketches of you, but she’ll never let you see it unless you wrestle it away from her.

✞⛧ Even though you’re both losers, somehow, together, it just works. Ellie might be awkward and dorky, but she’s yours, and despite all the stammering, blushing, and secondhand embarrassment—you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[cupcakeslushie]

hii, i love your EW AU! and i want to ask you some questions about it, sorry for my bad english but i hope that you can answer me :)

how was Rapha's infancy? and how is he's phobia of being alone now that, well, he was alone for almost all his life. that have any change when he meets his brother or just start in that moment?

how are the interactions with big mama after free Mickey? especially the times that they have to ask her for help. how is the relationship of big mama and is "son"?

how is the relationship of Splinter and his sons?

and last one (srry if is too much) how is the redemption of Draxum? Does he have one? Mickey helps him after everything he did to his brother? Is Donie actually the one that helped him? how is their relationship after that?

thank you so much, i love the Aus that you do, you draw so pretty and sorry if you already answered these questions.

For Raph, he had a hard time with Savage Raph, immediately following his brother’s kidnapping, but he actively worked to suppress it, so he can take care of the injuries Splinter received about half a year later (the ones from his fight with Saki). It doesn’t really return until post movie, when the whole escape pods thing (not saying who gets taken) and then the Prison Dimension thing (not saying who gets trapped) trigger Raph’s fears of losing his brothers. In season 3 I have big plans for Raph and his issues with being separated from his brothers will be explored. We’ll see Savage Raph making a come back.

Big Mama and Mikey have a very transactional relationship. Mikey knows how she works now, and won’t be fooled by her…often. Though it can still be hard for Mikey to not be fooled.

Splinter and Leo probably have the most tumultuous relationship. It’s neither one’s fault, and when Leo is in his right mind, he’s perfectly polite (if painfully distant) but when his blood rage takes over, he can go into attack mode on a dime, and more often than not, Splinter is his main target, because of all the programming that Saki put him through into hating Splinter.

Draxum will get a big redemption! Donnie will be at the helm of it, but if it were up to Donnie, Draxum wouldn’t even have to do anything 😂. So Mikey will actually play a part and make sure Draxum isn’t falling off the wagon, and not disappointing Donnie. But Drax really does wanna patch up their relationship, so he takes all of the guidance Mikey’s willing to give. Meanwhile, Raph, Leo, Splinter, and Timothy are ready to beat his ass for any missteps.

[twijaxx]

OMG FEM!LOCK sooooo would it be ok if you'd write some headcanons about fem!lock characters having a crush on fem!reader? How would they realise it? How would they go about pinning for their crush, yk fluffy stuff(of course only if you want to!) Anyways I hope you'll have a wonderful day or night!!!(Pls pls pls we need more fem!Ness, I love fem!Ness sm)

OMFG I THINK IM IN HEAVEN chat i love yall. (FEMNESS LOVER NONNIE MARRY ME PLS) i hope you will like it nonnie i was having a good time writing this 😣

Fem! Isagi, Rin and Sae (separately) x Fem! reader, occ characters, fluff.

wc: 0,6

Part 2. Nagi, Kaiser and Ness.

Isagi Yoichi! :3

(i don’t have any femsagi pics..)

This woman ain’t nonchalant she made it so fucking obvious it was hard to not see.

Isagi realized when the two of you were on a night walk, the moonlight gently shined at your features, really wide smile on your face as you talked about some stupid things, she could barely understand what you were saying, just staring at your face. You swear! you saw hearts in her eyes in that moment.

As we all know Isagi ain’t nonchalant, she tried shooting her shot any occasion she had :3 (ain’t she cute?) Sadly you were too shy to ask her is she meant it in friendly way or if she really does love you, but one night Isagi decided to straight up say that she loves you.

It wasn’t anything spectacular just simple “I love you [name] i really do, and not just in a friendly way, i mean it like romantically i want to be your girlfriend! and i mean it with all my heart!!” and of course you agreed, after all you loved her too.

Rin Itoshi :<

Rin is NOTHING! like our sweetheart Isagi, she is literally the definition of nonchalant.

She tried really really hard to gaslight herself into thinking she doesn’t love you, that you two are just friends, that the butterflies in her stomach are actually a small stomach ache.

But everything changed one peaceful day when you asked her if you can come to her soccer match, she wanted to tell you that you can’t, but the way your voice sounded oh so sweet on the other side of her phone, she just couldn’t refuse.

It started off peacefully she glanced at you couple of times before the match started and nothing much, but the second she heard you scream her name a loud as u can when she scored the final goal… she realized she was so fucking hard in love with you, so hard she didn’t even notice when she started running to you right after the match ended saying “I love you, be my girlfriend” and then kissing your lips quickly but passionately at the same time.

Sae Itoshi :|

Sae is WAY more nonchalant than her sister, she is plotting inside but outside u will never know she loves you until she says it to your face.

Let’s be fr this woman ain’t broke, even before you two started dating (:3) she was buying you expensive gifts and taking you out to dinners (just in a friendly way/jk)

She was delusional too (like her sis) telling herself this dinners mean nothing, all the necklaces, rings and bracelets she got you were just to make you look prettier. But the realization hit her just like a flying brick.

When the two of you were at a fancy restaurant (again :>) you wore the most beautiful dress she ever seen, wearing all the expensive necklaces, earrings and rings she got you, the dress exposed your every curve (especially your ass) she swears her heart skipped more then one beat the moment she saw you waiting for her in front of her house to pick you up.

The dinner went like every dinner you two been to, she picked you up telling you you looked beautiful as always, eating the food you two ordered, laughing and smiling at each other, then when it was time to drop you off she realized a chance like this will never happen again so she said “Thank you for spending time with me today, you looked as beautiful as always but i have to ask you something. Will you be my girlfriend [Name]? I love you” Of course you said yes, she was the only girl that mattered to you. (you two then went to your house and got freaky ;)

Tags: @isaisliterallyhim @laiko2real <3

I fumbled isagi so hard…

[thatoneevanfan]

Remus Lupin x popular girl!reader

In which the popular girl starts taking interest in her tutor.

warnings: lowkey bimbo reader, oblivious Remus, cussing, tension, lowkey suggestive

—————————————————————————————————————

YOUR POV:

“Ughhh” you groan as you slam your head against your desk. “I don’t even know what you see in him. Isn’t he like a nerd?” Your friend, who was laying uninterested on your bed, reading some fashion magazine. “Well… Kind of but that’s what makes him so hot. He’s hot and he doesn’t even know it! Such a turn on.” You daydream.

“You sound like you’d fuck his brains out.” She chuckles plainly, barely leaving any actual emotion in her words.

“well that’s the thing. I WOULD. If only he gave me the chance…” You whine out frustrated while trying to once again regain your focus on your potions essay.

“Also what the fuck is this essay. I don’t get anything. Potion class sucks.” You groan out dramatically.

“Why don’t you just ask your wonderful man to tutor you?” She rolls her eyes sarcastically. You bite your lips focused but your demeanor changes at her suggestion.

“Wait a minute… YOURE BLUDDY BRILLIANT.” You shout out excitedly, jumping over to the bed and placing a smooch on her forehead.

“What? I wasn’t being serious Y/n! Where are you going?” She yells after you as you skip outside the dormitory, leaving her dumbfounded on your bed. Quickly you run back into the room and grab her along, to help with your plan.

—————————————————————————————————————

No Pov:

He walks into the library looking for his favorite book on one of the shelves. Suddenly he hears sighs coming from behind one of the shelves. With much curiosity and worry he decided to go look into the noise.

As he walks around the he spots you.

Well and your friend.

He watches as you dramatically sigh and whine over an essay. He pretends to look for a book to continue eaves dropping.

“This essay is so hard. If only I had someone that could tutor me.” He hears you, once again, sigh dramatically. Any less oblivious person would have instantly noticed your intention, Remus however was way too oblivious to understand your intent. Innocently he turns around and asks you if you need a tutor.

“Well there’s just noooo way i Could ask that of you…” You sigh once again longer than you should have.

He however assures you that he would love to help you. He is a prefect after all.

You happily agree and plan a time and place to meet.

_____________________________________

NO POV:

Happily you start skipping over to your agreed upon place. You grin to yourself as you look down on your outfit. Your school skirt, way too short. Your out of school shirt, way too much cleavage. Perfect.

“Hiii Remus” You smile innocently at the poor boy who is still completely oblivious.

“Hi Y/n, so i’ve looked at your task and basically you have to write down what happens through out the experiment. Lucky for you I have connections so we get to use the potions classroom and the stuff in it.” He smiles proudly.

“Oh wow remus! That’s great, I wonder what i would have done without you.” You exclaim dramatically.

He blushes furiously at your words.

You both make your way to the classroom to start working on the project.

_____________________________________

“Sooo you crush this unicorn hair, mix it in with the hardsnail slime and the water, then it turns into this white thicker liquid.” He explains with full concentration.

“Mhmm does it?” You giggle at his words like a 14 year old boy. His eyebrows furrow at your reaction as he tries to figure out what was so funny. “Why did you- Oh. Y/n that’s-“ He cuts him self of with silence as he remains speechless. You sit quiet with a proud grin.

“anyway… you continue by stirring.” he instructs with a stutter.

—————————————————————————————————————

The awkwardness continues for another hour, as you manage to make everything he says have a sexual undertone, as well as occasionally brushing against him.

However something finally makes him crack.

The liquid you both had made seemed to start bubbling and started splashing. Some of the white liquid splashed onto his face, making it look quite… sexual.

“Now in a different setting i’d think that’s hot.” You smile suggestively.

He takes a sharp breath and looks at you with furrowed brows.

You reach out to wipe it away but he grabs your wrist mid move.

“Y/n.” he exclaims, saying your name like a warning.

You start to feel a little bit embarrassed, feeling rejected.

You apologize and quickly get up to leave, gathering your things.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He once again warns. You look up at him with confusion, slightly blushing at his demanding tone.

You open your mouth to respond but quickly get shut up by him pulling you in for a kiss. You continue to make out for a few seconds before he pulls off for air. He grabs his stuff and walks to the door. “This is what you wanted isn’t it?” He grins at you before leaving you there.

You stand there dumbfounded but your mouth quickly turns into a grin.

He totally wants you. You think to yourself proudly.

But… what will the next step be?

[valenteal]

Ok so I know we all wish there was more reaction in canon to the revelation of Dazai’s past. But I think there’s more of a reaction than people realize. It’s like the entire dynamic shifts after the meeting with the mafia. And it’s easy to attribute this to things getting more serious, more dangerous, because no one mentions Dazai being the reason for it. But I think it’s important to understand about these characters that the not saying anything is extremely indicative of their feelings on the matter. I think the tension is mostly glossed over because at the end of the day this is still Atsushi’s story and he’s kinda oblivious to it. But Dazai and Kunikida aren’t really partners after that, their interactions go way down, their banter is no longer a staple of the series. And Dazai wasn’t really close enough with anyone else to see major changes in his relationships with them, but we can guess based on what we do know.

For one thing, anyone thinking Fukuzawa already knew, sorry to burst your bubble but Taneda didn’t tell him jack. In fact Dazai made up a story about randomly meeting him at a bar and Taneda offering to find him a job if he won a bet or something. Dazai lied to Fukuzawa just as much as anyone else, he had elaborate cover stories. Fukuzawa told Kunikida to shoot him if he showed a hint of malicious intent but Dazai managed to worm his way out of that disguising it as his solution to the case/a suicide attempt. He pretended to be the bad guy to put on a show for the people listening in, and create an excuse for the listening device to be destroyed and gave Kunikida enough hints that he’d think twice about actually shooting him and pretended he wanted him to do it. It’s a very masterfully done scheme really, because Kunikida was so wrapped up in how it affected the case that he miss took Dazai’s innocence in the case for a lack of hidden evil. Kunikida definitely saw a side of Dazai that would make the President say “shoot him” but he didn’t even realize it because it was connected to solving the case. And when he lists off all the things he has problems with about Dazai it’s all about his unprofessional behavior and laziness and he doesn’t even mention that Dazai was so incredibly good at playing the bad guy that it didn’t feel fake. He didn’t mention the chilling aura. Dazai distracted him with all his other bad behavior.

But Ranpo must have known right? Well he certainly knew something was off about Dazai immediately after meeting him even without putting his glasses on. But I don’t think even he could have deduced Dazai’s past with the information he had. Because you have to remember that Dazai’s crimes were erased by Mushitaro’s ability and that Ranpo specializes in understanding crime scenes, not psychological profiling. Ranpo uses physical evidence for the most part and he needs knowledge of the crime to find the perpetrator. I don’t think it works the other way around. Not to mention that Fukuzawa trusts Kunikida and Kunikida said Dazai passed his entrance exam so Ranpo probably didn’t choose to look too closely at Dazai.

Anyway, the point is no one at the agency knew Dazai was in the mafia until the Guild arc. And Dazai’s interactions with the rest of the agency changed after that revelation. I think only Atsushi, Kyouka, and Kenji don’t change how they see him, because Atsushi is Atsushi, Kyouka probably already knew from when she captured him and his pep talk made her more comfortable with the idea, and Kenji is Kenji. Everyone else though? It’s a shock. And a lot of them probably just don’t know how to handle it. It helps that they got Kyouka around the same time it was revealed but Dazai had been lying to all their faces for two years at that point and he showed absolutely no remorse for that. Dazai doesn’t make a big deal of it, doesn’t try to make excuses for himself, doesn’t try to justify anything. Without him starting the conversation none of them have a way to comfortably bring up the subject. And because none of them (except Kenji) knows how to communicate in a healthy way, they just end up stewing with the information without fully processing it or acknowledging it. They’re stuck in this limbo of doubt and discomfort. It’s actually incredibly nuanced and I bet it’s all going to come to a head at some point in the near future and it’s going to be that much more satisfying for the wait.

[darksigns-exe]

the night and the light | prologue

a bad omens cyberpunk au

warnings: mentions of violence, guns, blood, scars

word count: 676

Wind rushes through her hair, throwing it back into her face. The city below her rushes along, never stopping its constant, restless movement. It never stops. Night City always moves – never sleeps. She watches quietly as it continues to writhe like a worm. Sometimes she wonders how she manages to keep up with it at all, or if she even does. 

The past year seems so inconsequential now that it lays behind her. In the grand scheme of things, nothing much has changed. She’s grown a year older, learned a thing or two, but apart from that, she doesn’t feel too different. Maybe she’d grown a little more resentful of the noise and the dirt below. 

So many lives had been lost, uselessly thrown into the aether, and sometimes she wonders if it had even been worth it. There had been so much death and destruction in their wake, so many lives that didn’t need to end yet. Sometimes she can still see the blood on her hands. But in the harsh neon lights of the city it quickly vanishes again. There’s always something, something more exciting, a new advertisement, a new face. Something always happens, and her mind just can’t stand still anymore. 

A set of arms wraps around her middle. She doesn’t need to look to know who they belong to. The coloured lines of ink and scar that line his skin make him so easy to identify. His chin comes to rest against her shoulder, and she knows what he’s going to say before he even opens his mouth. 

We could just leave, you know.

And she isn’t surprised when he says those exact words. 

He gets these wistful moods every now and again. But they both know that they’ll never leave Night City. 

No one does – not forever, at least. 

The second they’ll leave the noise and the crowds behind, and they’re alone, everything will change. And that terrifies her. She doesn’t quiet know how to be a person without the lights around her, and she doesn’t know how they’ll be when there’s nothing around them to distract them from the glaring issues they both have. 

But maybe that’s exactly what they need right now. 

She lets her head drop back against his chest. She’s never felt safe in these streets, not until she’d met him. And even then, it had taken her some time until she had felt safe around him. 

“We could all just pack up and leave. Go somewhere else.” he continues, voice still soft and gentle, “One of these gigs will be the last. One way or another.” 

She knows that he’s right. 

One of these days, a bullet will hit one of them and there won’t be anything that can be done about it. There’s a solid chance that it won’t even happen on a gig. She’s witnessed enough people falling victim to stray bullets. 

Sirens blare below as gunshots tear through the white noise of the city. She hasn’t flinched at the sounds in years. 

She does now. 

Instinctively, his arms tighten around her middle. Not to restrain, but to safeguard. He’s warm, comforting, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. That cold, hard shell has been started to show cracks. He’s not growing soft, no, it’s something else, something she doesn’t want to admit to herself yet. 

She feels content here when he holds her like this. 

But there has to be more to it all, right? More than just being content with how the world is. 

More than being content with being who she is. 

There’s a whole world outside of this city, and she has barely dared to venture outside of its borders. Perhaps it is time to peek past the edge of his proverbial plate. A year ago, she would have questioned her sanity for even thinking that, but now it feels as if her eyes are truly open for the first time. 

She leans further against him, and his embrace somehow grows just a little tighter. 

“Maybe we should.” 

maybe. 

taglist: @deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

@malice-ov-mercy @chels3a-smile @ferduttini @somebodyels3 @itsafullmoon

@shilohrosechicken @poisongirl616 @mysticdoodlez @agravemisstake @th4t-em0-k1d

@thisbicc @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @mrsnoahsebastian @blackveilomens @sorrowsofsilence

@fadingangelwisp @lacy1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @thisisntablogspost @tintadecirco

@rumoured-whispers @cheyyyyr @mathfairchild1 @thewrstinme @Follow-me-down-to-wonderland

[snaileer]

Regret; and Yet Still, It Repeats

For the longest time, when Danny thinks back to that day, the day that-

He doesn’t remember it very well. Of course he doesn’t, Jazz says, the most traumatizing day of his life, he’d blocked it out. Even though it’s the whole day that he’s forgotten, not just what happened after. Or during. Right before.

Nothing.

His friends will always tell him that the first thing Danny had said after the accident, long before Desiree or the ban on wishes, was, “I wish I’d never gone into that portal..”

And if he tries, he can almost remember it.

Danny had always thought it’d be different. That he could change it, fix it, undo it. Save himself, save his friends the trauma and his town the damage.

And yet.

Here he is, the chill of stiff rubber against his hands and the industrial lighting bearing down on him.

He steps farther into the tunnel.

He could turn back, tell his friends he chickened out. It might not even change anything that way, he might still trip, it might still happen, he should at least try.

Another step forward.

No one would be in danger. The ghosts would never come through. Everyone would be safe.

He stops in front of the button.

So innocuous. It was the on switch from the old lamp, attached on a cord mounted to the metal board and plain sold black.

“See anything cool?!” Tucker shouts from the entrance.

It doesn’t need to happen, he could fix so much, could let their lives stay normal.

“Or creepy?!” Sam adds on.

The words come easily, “No, it’s just a bunch of wires!”

Maybe Clockwork’s lesson finally got through to him after the disaster with his parents and Vlad. Maybe there really are some things that can’t be changed.

Shouldn’t.

Danny looks back down at the button. He doesn’t feel fear, or turmoil, it’s just.. calm. He’s in complete control of his actions. He could stop.

Danny pivots back towards his friends. He sees their faces.

They change so much in the next few years. They all do. Should he tell them? Let them choose too? Is it right for him to change all of their lives so drastically without ever letting them know what they could have had?

There’s no wires on the floor, but once it’s on they won’t be able to check. He tripped, they’ll say. He must have tripped on a wire. His hand hit the button accidentally and he-

Danny meets Sam’s eyes and steps towards her.

He presses the button.

It hurts. It’s pain like nothing he can describe. There’s not room in his brain for words like ‘burning’ or ‘stabbing’, ‘sharp’ or ‘dull’. It just.. hurts.

He’s in pain. That’s all he can think about. It hurts and he’s in pain. He’s in pain he’s in pain he’s in pain.

He doesn’t quite realize when it stops. And he doesn’t know if he was screaming, couldn’t hear past the feeling.

He stumbles and crumples to the ground.

There’s hands on him and he doesn’t have the consciousness to tell them every brush of contact sings like fire across his skin.

It was over. It was done. He did it.

Danny’s chest sags like a rush of breath leaving him despite the fact that he no longer breathes.

Will never.

Danny squeezes his eyes shut, the shadow of fire racing along his nerves as he opens his mouth and says, “I wish I’d never g-“

The shallow humidity of the basement vanishes.

Danny opens his eyes. He’s back on the street. Sam and Tucker are to his left, hiding behind a car. Jazz is the warning party, stalling his parents even as they come barreling towards him.

And the newest ghost, who’d just blasted him to kingdom come with a dousing rod.

Danny stands back up and raises his fists.

They’d been too busy following his dousing rod while the ghost had been yelling about choices and paths since the beginning.

Danny’d already made his choice. Now he just had to fight.

—

He doesn’t tell his friends what the blast did. Doesn’t ask Clockwork even when the ghost watches him fly through the zone.

He wants to think it was all a dream. That if he could, he’d do it different, he change it, fix everything, he’d never go into the tunnel in the first place-

He doesn’t say that he remembers the whole day now. That he knew it from the moment he blinked awake at school at the same moment he forgot.

He doesn’t say that his memories match up now, from the start to the end, it was him.

He doesn’t say that he remembers the accident now.

That he hadn’t before.

That he remembers what he said now.

“I wish I’d never gone into that portal..”

But that he doesn’t know if it’s true.

[shaded-or-shades]

Meet FungusClan, a definitely normal clan with no issues whatsoever.

(Based off @exocynraku’s clan generator)

(If I’m being honest, I just saw Frightstar and went “yea, I’m using it” but then I noticed more interesting things.)

(1. So. Many. Red. Cats. 3 apprentices out of 6 are red. 2. All ‘queens’ are male. Trans cats and malewives go hard. 3. Sootkit and Sootlick. And Sootkit looks like potential Sootsplash.)

More information about cats under the cut.

Frightstar (she/her, leader)

Frightstar was always a leader. Nobody remembers her as anything else but a leader. The first memory about Frightstar anyone remembers saying goodbye to her as she went to get nine lives and greeting her once she came back. Nobody remembers her as deputy, warrior, apprentice or even a kit. Undeniably, she’s a good leader: other clans never attacked FungusClan when she was a leader, however also clans around FungusClan closed their eyes countless times when some foolish FungusClan apprentices crossed the border and hunted on other territories, which raised suspicions from all clans, but leaders always shrug it off: “Those are just apprentices.”

Elders love to gossip about what possibly could’ve been Frightstar’s previous names: ones say that her parents were cruel for naming their kit Frightkit, but others say leader changed her name when she became a warrior.

Antwood (she/her, deputy)

Ant was always strict and orderly, believing that her ways were the best. She may not be very compassionate or social, but she’s a good tactician and knows disturbingly a lot about her clanmates, even if they never spoke to her. Originally, her sternness began when she was a kitten, and even though a lot of cats shrugged it off as her just being bossy or “just a phase”, it never ended.

Mauvebee (she/her, main medicine cat)

Mauve is a very kind and generous medicine cat, feel free to ask her for anything! She may be blind, but her paws hold skill which no other medicine cat before her could achieve. She received her full name Mauvebee because she always seems to have sixth sense on where to find bees and get honey. Even though she’s amazing tracker, she still has trouble getting the honey out of hives due to her blindness and quite often needs a seeing cat to help her.

Peanuthare (he/him, medicine cat)

Peanut used to be a very calm and polite cat, however, once apprenticed to Mauve, he visibly became more anxious. After all, who wouldn’t be terrified when your mentor brings you to look at corpses as your first outing as an apprentice? But Mauve, despite her sweet as honey words and encouragements seemed to be a little too exited that now she didn’t needed to wait whenever a warrior was free to go out, she had her very own apprentice to go on adventures with! However for some reason, Peanut always returned with a scratch and bristled fur.

Stonewing (he/him, senior warrior)

He’s a very calm cat who always seems to seek solitude and peace, quite often wandering away into foggy gorges or sneaking away to look at stars. After countless attempts, his clanmates discovered that it’s impossible to cheer him up, so they just let him sneak away, because in these moments, he looks a little happier.

Ponderingseed (she/her, warrior)

Ponderingseed, despite philosophical name, loves simple things and pranking cats. Her most famous prank is leaving seeds in nests to look if they’re going to sprout. She’s formerly a loner, but she refuses to talk about what happened to her before she joined FungusClan.

Earlyfrost (she/her[AMAB], warrior)

Earlyfrost is a quite interesting cat, because despite having a white coat and having a lot of disadvantage when hunting, she was loved by FungusClan, because cats born with completely white coats are usually seen as good omens, a StarClan’s way of blessing the clan and telling them about upcoming events, which are usually new-leafs full of prey. Despite already being a blessing, Early has her eyes on certain scary she-cat who doesn’t seem to notice her..

Wildyowler (they/he[AMAB], warrior)

No cat knows much about Wildy, but he’s a generally nice cat who loves doing chores around camp, but loves even more to go on border patrols. They’re suspiciously close to some of the loners they meet, which a lot of cats think as normal because Wildy was a loner too.

Martenbound (she/her, warrior)

Marten, despite white pelt decided to build her reputation around her masterful hunting skills, and not imaginary holiness of her fur. She sometimes loves to wear pelts of her most impressive catches. A lot of cats consider her as a candidate to be next deputy, but Marten doesn’t have a heart to admit to her clan that she doesn’t believe in StarClan.

Pansybushel (he/him, warrior)

Pansy is a loving tom who quite often helps medicine cats in herb garden, sometimes even trying to grow his own plants in there. He quite often gifts his clanmates flowers, but he has no romantic feelings towards anyone.

Yarrowpaw (she/her, warrior apprentice)

She’s a very angsty kitty, who’s constantly unhappy and bitter. She’s quite unhappy that her name is Yarrow and not something cooler. However, she loves her mentor Ponderingseed, even if Yarrowpaw thinks she’s childish. In fact, Pondering quite often calls her Yewpaw, which is the only nickname Yarrow is fond of.

Ploverpaw (he/him, warrior apprentice)

He’s a very energetic, impulsive and lively apprentice, incapable of sitting still for long time or doing one task for too long. Which is why his mentor is Pansy, who tries to teach him patience, because it’s not only about waiting, but also knowing when to strike.

Murmurpaw (she/her, warrior apprentice)

Murmur is a quite secretive and mysterious apprentice who has a beautiful voice and love for perfection. Her mentor is Antwood, and despite Murmur formerly being an outsider, she quite often manages to impress her mentor with her dedication and determination, even if Murmurpaw’s favorite task is watching over kittens. She’s an incredible singer and has a knack for creating trinkets for kits to play with.

Driftpaw (he/him, warrior apprentice)

Driftpaw is incredibly fast cat, so if you don’t want to accidentally get knocked over, move out of his way! Drift may be obnoxious and bratty, but he has best intentions in his heart. His mentor is Stonewing, and he’s struggling a little because Drift is too fast of a learner.

Primrosepaw (she/her, warrior apprentice)

Primrose is a quiet sweetheart who prefers sitting on tall trees and looking how clouds pass by, sometimes terrifying her clanmates because she climbs very high up. Her mentor, Wildyowler is trying to get her to socialize more, but they might not be quite successful.

Hummingpaw (she/her, warrior apprentice)

Humming is a bit of a scary apprentice who unnerves a lot of cats. Humming’s birth was a good omen to the clan, she began changing a lot, so she was given Earlyfrost as a mentor. Despite both of them being white, they cannot relate to each other, being quite distant and never talking much.

Hailflicker (he/him, den dad)

Hailflicker was a permanent caretaker for a very long time, and being surrounded by kits all the time is taking a toll on him, with him quite often being too emotionally drained to do other activities or get out of his nest. He currently cares for Fablekit, Leopardkit and Stumpkit.

Spidersky (he/him[AFAM], queen)

Spidersky is a quite stern dad, believing that discipline is the only way to make kits behave, and is very frustrated when his demands aren’t immediately met. He currently cares for Milkweedkit, Blueberrykit and Sootkit.

Sootlick (he/him, elder)

Sootlick was never the same after his mates, Rabbitspeck died when giving birth to their son, Peanuthare. He claims that he started to see things from his injured eye, but whenever he tries to talk about things he saw, it ends in “go back to nest grandpa”, because he always says he’s seeing spirits, but not StarClan, and that his mate is among them.

Bearrise (she/her, elder)

Bearrise loves to tell youth about her golden days: that she earned her warrior name by fighting a bear at dawn, and as proof, she took smallest tooth from its jaws; or how she-cats were always falling in love with her due to her incredible strength. However, some cats suspect something because the tooth she has looks more like a fang, it’s too small to be bear’s tooth and it’s too curled to be a cat’s or wolf’s fang.

Silvertwist (he/him, elder)

Silver is kind elder, his warmth never fading away; even if you wake him up in the middle of the night asking to tell a story, he’ll gladly tell it. However, he lived for quite a long time, and it’s starting to unnerve cats how his pelt has no grey hairs.

Bumbleomen (they/them[AFAB], elder)

Bumble is the number 1 StarClan believer, thinking that stars are trying to speak to them in most mundane things, like a clanmates changing routine or new plant sprouting by the borders(they’re wrong). They’re the oldest elder, so sometimes Mauvebee doesn’t even bother curing him, knowing that most likely it’ll be just a waste of herbs.

[kkink]

so i have this one headcanon: mc goes to a party to forget the crush on jin, and meets haku. he offers to help.

_______________________________________

your fingers are already damp around the neck of another sweating bottle when you realize how much you've been drinking. the burn is welcome, smoothing out the rough edges of your thoughts, dulling that old, familiar ache in your chest. you don’t want to think about jin. don’t want to think about the way his voice had sounded - so flat, so unmoved. like it hadn’t cost him anything. you knock back another sip.

a laugh cuts through the noise, sharp and easy. you know that laugh. turn your head and see him - haku, lounging near the bar, one arm draped over the back of a chair, the other nursing a half-empty glass. his uniform jacket is missing, sleeves rolled up like he doesn’t have a care in the world, the veins in his forearms flexing. he catches you looking. grins.

“thought you were allergic to this kind of scene,” he says as you drift closer, half-shouting over the fifteen other ongoing conversations. “what changed?”

your tongue is also loose from the alcohol, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing. that you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for jin. so you just lift your drink and nod your head, a non-answer. haku just looks at you like he understood. (he does.)

“so you got an L from the ice king, huh?”

the words shouldn’t sting as much as they do. you shrug, eyes dropping to the floor.

“that’s a shame,” haku continues, and there’s something almost genuine in his voice. but then—“stop making that pathetic face, though. you look like a kicked dog. don’t tell me you’re still in love with that idiot?”

haku watches you for a moment, then leans in, close enough that you can smell the faint trace of coconut and vodka on his breath.

“let’s help you get over him then. should be easy.” his voice dips, playful, but not unserious.

you tilt your head, eyes narrowing skeptically. “how?”

he smirks. “how about you go out with me? we can be friends, but you can kiss me. do other things. distract yourself. what do you think?”

his eyes glint under the shifting lights, the weight of the bassline pressing between them. something in his voice half a joke, half not.

you blink.

and then you laugh.

because it’s haku. haku, who flirts like it’s breathing, who’s probably said some version of this line at least twenty times tonight alone. haku, who once told a spirit she was the most beautiful ghost he’d ever seen before exorcising her five minutes later.

you shake your head, amusement curling at the edges of your lips. “actually, that sounds like a great idea,” you say, matching his tone, matching his game. then you tip your chin up, eyes glinting under the shifting lights. “should we start now?”

his smirk stretches, lazy, knowing. he doesn’t answer right away—just watches you like he’s waiting for something. maybe for you to break first, to laugh it off, to take it back. but you don’t. and suddenly, the air between you feels different. thicker. heavier.

haku tilts his head, gaze dipping briefly to your lips before flicking back up. and then, he grins like he’s won something.

“you’re dangerous when you drink, huh?”

you hum, feigning innocence. “i have no idea what you mean.”

he chuckles, tipping his glass against yours in a slow, deliberate clink.

“alright then,” he says, like he’s accepting a challenge. “let’s see where this goes.”

the heat of the party presses in from all sides, but suddenly, it feels like the only real thing in the room is the space between you and haku. the crowd is still moving, the music is still pounding, people are still drinking and laughing and existing around you—but it all feels a little distant now, like background noise to whatever this is.

his eyes don’t leave yours, that lazy grin still playing on his lips, like he’s waiting to see if you’ll flinch. if you’ll break first. you don’t.

you take another sip of your drink, the alcohol humming in your veins, making everything feel a little looser, a little easier.

“so,” he says, tipping his glass back, swallowing the last of whatever was inside. “if we’re starting now, what’s the move?”

you scoff, rolling your eyes. “you’re the one who made the offer, figure it out.”

he exhales a short laugh, then tilts his head, considering. the dim, shifting lights cast sharp lines over his face, catching the faint sheen of sweat at his temple. you can tell he’s enjoying this—this little back-and-forth, this game—but there’s something else under it, something you can’t quite place.

then, without warning, he leans in.

______________________________________________________

[...]

[dyingswanpavlova]

HEAR ME OUT, what if he grow tired to her giving him a cold shoulder?

I write this, maybe it will a little in the next chapter, even if it doesn't help i just write it and would love if you read it (sorry if I'm annoying you 💗!)

______________________________

An apology from him would be unexpected—but not impossible. It depends on who he truly is beneath the cruelty. If he does apologize, it won’t be in words. Not at first. It will be in small actions. Soft touches, lingering glances, the hesitation in his grip. The way he stands at your doorway, watching, waiting. Maybe he'll leave something by your bedside—a meal, a book, something that shows he's thinking of you.

But an apology? A real, spoken one? That would mean admitting he was wrong. That he hurt you more than he intended. That his actions—cutting your hair, locking you away, treating you like nothing—were not only cruel but unjustified. And he’s not ready for that. Not yet. But maybe, just maybe, if he truly believes there’s a life growing inside you—something his—it might break him just enough to try.

Would you forgive him? If no. Then he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But that won’t stop him from trying—in his own twisted, selfish way.

The next morning, when you wake, the blister of pills is still on your nightstand. Unmoved. Unbothered. An accusation in its own right. You stare at it, trying to remember if you even dreamed the way his hand had hovered over you last night, the way his lips had brushed your stomach. It feels surreal. Unbelievable. But the weight in your chest is real. So is the silence.

He doesn’t speak to you at breakfast. Doesn’t so much as look at you when he places your plate down, but you feel the shift. Something in him has changed—tightened, restrained. He’s watching you without watching you. And you know. He knows.

But still—no apology. Not in words. Not in his touch. Just that damn blister of pills, untouched. A silent accusation. A silent claim. His girl, huh?

The silence between you is a living thing. Heavy. Suffocating. Unyielding. You don’t speak to him. You don’t look at him. Not once. Not when he sets your food down. Not when he lingers in the doorway. Not when his presence looms over you like a storm, waiting—just waiting—for you to break first.

But you won’t. You can’t. So you keep your eyes on your plate, on your hands, on anything but him. And it drives him mad.

At first, he plays along. He acts like it doesn’t matter, like he doesn’t notice, like your cold indifference doesn’t cut deeper than all the screams, all the fights, all the desperate pleas that have come before.

But the days pass, and still—you won’t speak. You won’t look. You won’t acknowledge him. It starts small. A tension in his jaw. The clench of his fists. The way he lingers in rooms he has no reason to be in, as if expecting you to finally give in.

But you don’t. And then it escalates.

Your books go missing. Your blanket disappears. The meals he used to bring you become smaller, emptier. Punishments, in their own way. He wants a reaction. A word. A glance. Something.

But you won’t give it to him. And it kills him.

You feel it in the way he watches you at night, standing in the empty doorway that used to hold a door. You hear it in the way he sighs when he thinks you’re asleep, frustrated, exhausted, desperate.

And then, one night, he snaps.

You hear the crash before you see it—his plate, shattered against the kitchen wall. His voice is sharp, raw, furious.

"Enough."

You freeze. You don’t turn. Don’t flinch. But your fingers curl into your palms.

He breathes heavily behind you, a shaky, uneven inhale that betrays more than he wants it to. Then, softer, almost pleading—

"Say something."

But you don’t.

And that’s when you realize—

This is the only power you have left.

This is BREATHTAKING.

I'm about to upload Part 13 and it was totally inspired by this masterpiece, everyone. 🤍

(HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL) 🎁🤍

[00valentina-writes00]

Abby w reader with ocd?

✞⛧ Abby with a girlfriend that has OCD ✞⛧

Warnings: I don’t have ocd, so if I got smth wrong or it’s offensive please tell me-

✞⛧ Abby notices before you ever say anything. The way you check the door multiple times before leaving, how your fingers hover over objects like you’re making sure they’re just right, the way your breathing changes when something feels off. She doesn’t say anything at first—just watches, takes note.

✞⛧ She doesn’t think it’s inconvenient, just… something to understand. Abby’s all about problem-solving, so when she realizes this isn’t something she can just fix for you, it frustrates her—not at you, but at how powerless she feels when she sees you struggling.

✞⛧ At first, she’s not sure what to do. She’s used to tangible problems—wounds she can stitch, enemies she can fight. This? This is different. But she’s patient. She listens. She learns.

✞⛧ Abby never gets annoyed at you. She gets annoyed at the way the world isn’t built for the way your mind works. When people rush you, when they make careless comments—that’s when you see her jaw clench, her grip tighten.

✞⛧ She figures out pretty quickly what makes things easier for you. If you have to check the door before leaving, she stands next to you, silent, never rushing. If things need to be in a certain order, she respects it. If she moves something by accident, she fixes it before you even notice.

✞⛧ If you have compulsions that hurt—scratching, picking, repeating actions until your skin is raw—Abby’s hands are right there to stop you, firm but gentle. She never shames you for it, just takes your hands in hers, rubs slow circles into your palms, reminds you to breathe.

✞⛧ She gets really good at grounding you. If you’re stuck in a spiral, she doesn’t say stop—she gives you something else to focus on. “Come here,” she’ll say, pulling you against her. “Tell me three things you can hear. Two things you can feel.” She keeps her voice steady, calm.

✞⛧ When you apologize—because you always do—she shakes her head. “Don’t. You don’t have to be sorry for this.” And she means it.

✞⛧ She hates when people treat you like you’re difficult because of it. If someone makes a snide comment about how long something takes, Abby’s right there with a glare that could shut down an entire conversation.

✞⛧ If routines help you, Abby builds them into her life like it’s second nature. You eat the same breakfast every morning? Guess who’s making sure it’s stocked. You need to wash your hands a certain way? She learns the pattern, does it with you sometimes.

✞⛧ When she catches you trying to hide it—masking, forcing yourself to act normal—it kills her. “You don’t have to do that with me,” she tells you one night, voice softer than usual. “You don’t have to pretend.”

✞⛧ If a compulsion is making you late, she doesn’t rush you. Doesn’t sigh, doesn’t roll her eyes, doesn’t make you feel guilty. She just waits. If you’re gonna be late, she figures, then you’ll be late together.

✞⛧ The first time she sees you have a breakdown over it—when the frustration, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of it all crashes down on you—she just holds you. Doesn’t try to fix it, doesn’t try to rationalize. Just lets you be.

✞⛧ She picks up on the things that trigger you before you even have to say them. Clutter? Uncertainty? The wrongness of something being out of place? She notices, and she does something about it.

✞⛧ If intrusive thoughts hit you hard, she’s the one grounding you back to reality. “It’s just a thought,” she reminds you, voice steady. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

✞⛧ When she learns that reassurance-seeking is part of it, she doesn’t mind repeating herself. “Yes, I locked the door.” “Yes, you turned the oven off.” “Yes, I love you.” She’ll say it a hundred times if it helps

✞⛧ She understands that it’s not just about being “neat” or “particular.” It’s not a quirk. She gets that. She takes it seriously.

✞⛧ If something feels wrong to you, she doesn’t dismiss it. She doesn’t say “it’s fine” or “just let it go.” If it matters to you, it matters to her.

✞⛧ She lets you explain things in your own time. She never pushes. Just listens. Always listens.

✞⛧ If you ever start spiraling in public, she subtly shifts into protector mode. Keeps you close, blocks out the noise, finds a quiet place if you need it.

✞⛧ She makes an effort to understand the science behind it. Reads about it. Asks questions. Not because she thinks she can fix you, but because she wants to know you.

✞⛧ When you feel like your mind is your worst enemy, she’s the one reminding you that you’re so much more than this.

✞⛧ She knows when you need space and when you need her. She never takes it personally if you need to be alone for a while.

✞⛧ She has this way of making you feel safe in your own head, even when it’s the last place you want to be.

✞⛧ If you get stuck in a loop, she finds little ways to break it—changing the subject, cracking a joke, touching you. A hand on your back, a thumb brushing over your knuckles, something to pull you out of it.

✞⛧ She never lets you think you’re a burden. Not once. Not ever. “You don’t have to do this alone,” she tells you, and she means it.

✞⛧ Abby doesn’t love you despite your OCD. She just loves you. All of you. The way you think, the way you are. And if the world makes things harder for you? Then she’ll stand between you and the world, teeth bared, always.

[lucysarah-c]

i think im going through some kind of heat because ALL i could think about is Levi's body hair today...

what are your thoughts of it? how hairy do you think he is? at his thighs, lower legs - arms, happy trail, chest?

do you think he shaves any of it? or trims? what would he think if it? what hair might he keep tidy, and what might he disregard?

also, his thoughts on his s/os body hair perhaps, just for funsies?

sorry for all the questions he's just so 😍 i love thoughts of naked levi

This is such a good question, and one I change my mind on frequently! Sometimes I give a more logical answer: Levi is very pale with dark hair, so he does have body hair—especially his arms and legs. He doesn’t have chest hair, though; that’s just how he is.

Some guys have a lot of body hair, like on their chest and back, but not on their arms or legs, and vice versa. I think Levi falls more into the category of having a lot of hair on his arms and legs, but he definitely trims it. He doesn’t shave it all off—he just trims it. He uses a machine to keep it neat, especially on his forearms and the bottom of his legs. He doesn’t have much on his thighs or upper arms. He 100% has a happy trail and he does that trim that one much. Overall, I do think he has body hair not exercise, no no, but especially in his forearm and bottom of his legs.

Shaving would require a lot more upkeep, and I don’t think Levi has the time or patience for that. He just likes to keep it tidy and manageable. He’s a very clean guy, and it’s easier for him when he’s working out and training a lot.

As for his partner, he’s cool with whatever. If she wants to shave or wax, he’s fine with that. He won’t tell her to do it, but he does have a preference for things to be trimmed and tidy. He’s not a fan of a “bush,” but he’s not going to say anything. He’s just more comfortable when things are kept neat.

I loved answering this one—it was fun! Thank you so much! Have a lovely day or night. Kisses. Happy to see you around my inbox!

[onechicagolife]

ABSENTIA | JAY HALSTEAD

Detective Jay Halstead is a senior member of the Intelligence Unit, where he is partnered with Detective Hailey Upton after his former partner went missing undercover. While he never wanted to give up hope, the CPD assumed her dead and he was resigned to accept it. Now, two years later, Jay gets a sudden phone call with news that changes his life forever. Avery Clarke is alive. want to be tagged? link in bio <3

Chapter 15

Jay rounds the corner to his apartment, exhaustion weighing down his movements as he drags a hand down his face. The last few nights have blurred together—hours spent in his truck with Avery, watching and waiting. They haven’t seen Nikolai again since that first night, which he’s not sure is a good or bad thing. Bad for their investigation, yes. But he couldn’t deny Avery’s reaction when she saw him for the first time. The way she completely froze, her shoulders tensing and her breaths quickening.

The cruelest part was that when Jay asked about it, she refused to tell him anything. And that every time he looks at her, he still feels everything. Being with her feels overwhelmingly familiar, too much like how it used to be. Because she sits back in the seat with her feet thrown up, she steals his coffee without thinking. She pushes his buttons, challenges him in the best and worst ways.

He knows he shouldn’t be spending so much time with her. He tells himself that he has to, even though he knows it’s not fair to Hailey. Knows it’s wrong that every night, as he sits in the freezing car with Avery, he doesn’t want to leave. That despite the anger, the confusion, the betrayal—he feels more like himself than he has in a long time.

Pulling his keys from his pocket, Jay lifts his head and his stomach drops. Hailey is leaning against the wall outside his door, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her ponytail sways slightly as she straightens at the sight of him, and the look on her face—anger barely concealing hurt—makes his breath hitch. Dinner.

He exhales sharply, quickening his steps as guilt settles heavy in his chest, “Shit, Hailey, I’m sorry.”

Her expression doesn’t change. “I called you,” Hailey says flatly.

His fingers tighten around his keys, “My phone died.” Lie. He turned it off.

She scoffs, shaking her head as she pushes off the wall. He sees the way her eyes glisten under the dim hallway light, the way her jaw tenses as she turns to leave. Panic flares in his chest. “Wait.” He reaches out, catching her wrist gently, just enough to stop her, “Just… come inside. Please.”

Hailey hesitates. For a second, he thinks she’s going to walk away. Maybe she should. Maybe he should let her.

Reluctantly, her feet stay rooted in place as he unlocks the door and opens it. He stands in the doorway, waiting for her with hopeful eyes. After a few moments, and against her better judgement, she steps inside.

Jay closes the door behind them, lingering for a second before he turns to face her. He barely gets his jacket off before she whirls on him.

“Where have you been?”

His shoulders sag. He should have known she’d cut right to it. “I’m sorry I forgot about dinner,” he says weakly, knowing full well that it isn’t good enough.

“That’s not an answer,” her voice rises slightly, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “You’ve been blowing me off all week. You disappear after work, you don’t answer my calls or texts. You come in every morning looking like you haven’t slept. What the hell is going on with you?”

Jay rubs a hand over his face, already exhausted by this conversation. “I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she cuts him off harshly. “And don’t say you’ve been with Voight.” Hailey takes a deep breath, her anger cracking just slightly under something more vulnerable. Her voice is quieter as she forces out the next words, “Just tell me if you were with Avery.”

He hesitates. It’s only for a second, but it’s enough to make her eyes harden. “It’s not what you think,” Jay says quickly, trying to reassure her that he would never.

She crosses her arms tighter, her nails digging into her skin. She didn’t think he was cheating, not really. She knows him well enough to know that. “Then what is it?”

His jaw clenches. He doesn’t know what to say. He knows she deserves to hear the truth, but he can’t bring himself to say it. “Hailey,” he swallows, “I can’t.”

“That’s bullshit,” she snaps, her voice rising again. “You don’t get to pull the ‘I can’t talk about it’ card with me. I’m your partner, Jay. I’m your girlfriend. You’re shutting me out, and I deserve to know why.”

His mind races, eyes desperately searching her face for some—any—hint of understanding. “I can’t tell you,” Jay settles on with a helpless half-shrug. “You just have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” Hailey laughs—a bitter, broken sound—and narrows her eyes. “Do you even hear yourself?” When he doesn’t say anything, it only takes a few moments before realization washes over her. She lets out a disbelieving breath, “You’ve been helping her investigate Volkov.”

The way Jay tightens his jaw and clenches his hands into fists at his sides is confirmation enough.

“Jesus, Jay,” she shakes her head with a scoff. Hailey starts pacing, running both hands over her hair. “Do you even realize what you’re doing? You’re putting your career—your life—on the line.”

“I’m not putting my life on the line,” he says defensively.

“You’re lying to me,” she yells at him. “You’re lying to Voight. You’re impeding a federal investigation. All for her.”

Jay flinches at her words, guilt and anger swirling in his chest. “It’s not that simple. She’s my—” he cuts himself off, the words dying in his throat. He swallows hard as the air between them thickens. They both know what he was about to say. She’s my partner.

Hailey stares at him, something breaking in her expression. She squares her shoulders, trying to hold herself together even as her voice wavers. “You know, I’ve tried to be supportive. I’ve tried to be understanding. But I’m not going to sit here while you lie to my face. I’m not going to sit here and pretend.”

He blinks, knowing that this conversation is going somewhere he doesn’t want, but he can’t stop it. “Pretend?”

She exhales shakily, bringing up a hand to quickly swipe away the tears she is so stubbornly trying to keep at bay. “You were shot,” her voice trembles slightly, but she forces it to steady. “You were laying there, and I was holding your hand. You said her name.” She closes her eyes as the memories wash over her. “I tried to convince myself that I heard it wrong. But I didn’t. And I know that you know I heard it. And you still haven’t explained why.”

The air seems to leave the room, and for a moment, Jay can’t bring himself to look at her. His mind flashes back to that moment. His throat tightens as he finally meets her gaze. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about her,” he admits even as it kills him, his voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t stop thinking about her.”

The words hang heavy between them, and Hailey’s breath hitches. She blinks rapidly, trying to process what he just said. “So, what? You’re still in love with her?”

Jay inhales sharply at the question. He wants to tell her no. He wants to tell her he loves her, that she’s the one he wants. But he can’t. “I don’t know,” he says finally, his voice breaking. “But I know she needs me right now and I can’t…” I can’t leave her. I can’t say no to her. I can’t let her be alone again. “I have to help her.”

Hailey nods slowly, like she expected that answer but hoped she was wrong. “I love you, Jay,” she whispers, her face crumbling as fresh tears well in her eyes. “And I thought—” she stops herself, shaking her head as a tear slips down her cheek. She doesn’t bother wiping it away.

His chest tightens, heartbeat pounding loudly in his head, “Hailey, I care about y—”

“Don’t,” she cuts him off, stepping back. “You can’t have both.”

The words cut deep. Jay opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her. But he can’t lie anymore. To himself, maybe. But not to her.

Her lips tighten into a thin line as she tilts her head, nodding slowly. “I’m done.”

He doesn’t stop her as she turns and walks toward the door, her footsteps echoing in the quiet apartment. He can’t bring himself to, no matter how much he wishes he could. When the door clicks shut behind her, the sound feels final as it echoes throughout the apartment.

Jay sinks onto the couch, elbows braced on his knees as his head falling into his hands. He knows Hailey had every right to walk away. He can’t even blame her. And he’s left wondering how the hell he got here.

After hesitating for just a moment, Jay walked towards Voight’s office. He stopped in the open doorway, eyes bouncing between his sergeant and the other man in the room. His hands clenched so tightly where they hung at his sides that his knuckles ached. He had been called in without much explanation—just a simple order to come in from Voight. The urgency in his voice made his stomach churn with unease. And now, seeing Chief Lugo standing beside the desk Voight sat behind made his pulse quicken unnaturally.

“Jay,” Voight started gruffly. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something dark, something resigned. “Take a seat.”

“I’m good.” His bosses exchanged a wary glance. Jay narrowed his eyes, “What’s going on?”

Voight didn’t speak at first, just cast another look towards the chief before sighing heavily. He opened a manila folder in front of him and pushed it forward on the desk.

Jay took a step and a half forward. Inside was a single, grainy photograph that made his stomach twist violently. It was a surveillance shot—a woman being dragged into a warehouse by two armed men. The image was blurry, the lighting terrible, but the height, the build, the hair—it was all too familiar. “Where did this come from?” he demanded.

Lugo spoke this time, his voice even, measured. “The FBI received this from one of their sources inside the Volkov organization. The timestamp places it three months ago.”

His breath stilled. Three months ago. Avery had already been missing for six. That meant she wasn’t killed on the spot like everyone else feared—she was taken alive. She was out there. Jay forced himself to focus, pulling himself away from the memories of that day. That day when he was too late. “So, what the hell are we doing sitting here? We finally have a lead, we go after it—”

Lugo held up a hand, stopping him cold. “The intel didn’t stop there.”

His heart pounded as Lugo flipped to the next page in the folder.

Unidentified female remains recovered from a Volkov warehouse overseas. Burned beyond recognition. No DNA match found.

Jay shook his head, immediately rejecting it. “No. No, that’s not proof. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Jay—” Voight started, his voice low.

“No.” He pushed the folder roughly across the desk, breathing hard as his chest tightened. “We’ve been through this before, and every single time, it’s led nowhere. You don’t have a body, you don’t have DNA, you don’t have—”

“The FBI is taking over the investigation into Volkov from Major Crimes. The brass agrees that the evidence is conclusive,” Lugo interrupted, his voice final. “Detective Clarke was likely killed while undercover. The case is being closed.”

The word rang in his ear, and his entire world stopped spinning. Closed. No. No.

He turned to Voight, his eyes pleading. “We don’t… we can’t just stop,” his voice cracked, barely managing to get the words out.

Voight held his gaze for a long moment, and that was when Jay knew. The fight had already been lost. The lines on Voight’s face looked deeper, heavier, and for the first time since Avery disappeared, there was defeat in his eyes. Even after Justin, he still hung onto the hope that his other child was still alive. But that hope was gone.

“It’s over,” Voight said quietly.

No. His breath came in short, shallow bursts, his hands trembling at his sides. Jay shook his head, refusing to accept it. “No. No, you don’t get to decide that. You don’t get to just—just declare her dead without proof.” His voice broke, rage bleeding through the cracks.

“Detective—” Lugo started.

“No, fuck that!” Jay slammed his hands onto the desk, the sound echoing through the office. His entire body was shaking. “You don’t get to make this call! She’s out there, she’s waiting for us to find her, and we’re just—we’re just giving up?” His voice bordered on hysteria as he looked towards Voight in disbelief, “You’re just gonna let this happen? After everything—after Justin? You’re just going to let them give up on her?”

Voight’s breath hitched in his throat as he blinked, barely managing to hold himself together. He never allowed himself to break before, and he won’t do it now. He can’t. Chief Lugo’s jaw tightened as he cut in, “This isn’t giving up, Halstead. This is the reality.”

Jay let out a sharp, bitter laugh, taking a half-step back in a desperate need to distance himself before he lost control. Reality. The word felt like poison in his mouth. Nothing about this felt real. “You don’t know her,” he spat. “You don’t know Avery. She’s a fighter. She wouldn’t just let them—” he stopped himself, unable to say the words. Wouldn’t just let them kill her.

Chief Lugo sighed, straightening, “I understand the nature of your relationship to her. I know this is difficult to hear, but the department is making it official. Detective Clarke is being ruled as killed in the line of duty.”

His breath hitched and he swallowed down the bile rising in his throat. This was it. This was the end. The fight left him all at once. His shoulders sagged, his knees suddenly weak, and for a moment, he thought he might actually collapse. He turned to Voight, his last hope. His voice was wrecked, desperate, “Hank.”

Voight’s face was etched with something almost like guilt. When he finally spoke, it was low and final. “It’s time to let her go.”

Something inside Jay broke. A sound tore from his throat—a ragged, guttural noise of sheer devastation—and he turned sharply, storming out of the office. He didn’t see where he was going. Didn’t feel the burn in his throat, the pressure behind his eyes, the way his chest was imploding in on itself.

All he knew was that he had to get out. Had to breathe. Had to escape the words still ringing in his head, threatening to tear down his entire world.

How the hell is he supposed to let her go? The woman he loved. The only woman he ever loved. She was gone. She couldn’t be gone. Jay picked up speed before bursting through one of the stalls just in time to hunch over the toilet, knees hitting the tile with a painful, sickening crack. His body convulsed as he gripped the porcelain with white-knuckled hands, waves of nausea wracking through him. His stomach clenched painfully, but there was nothing left to bring up. His breath came in ragged gasps, each one sharper than the last. His head was spinning, his vision blurring, the fluorescent lights overhead too bright, too harsh.

He felt like he was suffocating. Drowning.

The stall walls felt like they were closing in, pressing down on him and squeezing the air from his lungs. His entire body trembled as he sat back on his heels, his arms bracing against the sides of the stall. The cold tile bit into his knees, grounding him in a reality he desperately wanted to reject.

Avery was dead.

Voight believed it.

Chief Lugo signed off on it.

Major Crimes, the FBI—they all believed it.

The weight of it crashed down on him again, harder, heavier. A low, guttural sound ripped from his chest, something between a sob and a scream, raw and uncontained.

Six months of searching. Of fighting. Of holding onto hope—thin, fragile, fleeting hope—only for it to be ripped away in an instant.

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He couldn’t breathe. Every inhale was a battle, every exhale a painful reminder that he was still here—and she wasn’t.

He could still hear her voice, so clear that it was as if she was sitting right beside him.

Well, it really is your lucky day, Halstead. Avery Clarke. Your new partner.

His throat closed up, another sob tearing through him. A thousand moments, a thousand memories flooded his mind, each one sharper, more painful than the last. He saw her everywhere. Heard her everywhere.

But she was gone.

A sudden burst of anger surged through him, cutting through the grief like a blade. His hands shook as he pushed himself up from the floor, his vision darkening at the edges from the force of his rage.

His fist flew before he could stop it. The bathroom mirror shattered on impact. Glass shards scattered across the counter, some embedding in his knuckles, but he barely felt the sting. His reflection was fractured, fragmented—just like him. He stared at it, his chest heaving, his pulse hammering in his ears as the blood dripped down his fingers, warm and sticky.

This wasn’t real.

This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be real.

The sky is still gray, the Chicago winter settling in thick and heavy as Jay pulls into the district parking lot. His truck rumbles to a stop, the engine ticking in protest as he cuts the ignition. He stays there for a moment, gripping the wheel with both hands, staring blankly at the brick wall in front of him.

He’s running on fumes. The sleepless nights, the weight of Hailey walking out, the relentless gnawing in his chest whenever he thinks about Avery—it’s all catching up to him. His body is sore, barely recovered, and his mind is wrecked. He doesn’t even want to think about what he is going to face when he walks in that building. And yet, somehow, the idea of stopping isn’t even an option.

Not when she still needs him.

With a heavy sigh, he grabs his gym bag from the passenger seat, shoving open the door and stepping into the biting cold. His breath clouds in front of him, but the crisp air does nothing to clear his head. He’s barely made it a few steps when he hears the familiar rumble of another engine pulling in. Jay glances up just as Voight’s black SUV rolls into a nearby spot. The older man climbs out, pulling his coat tighter against the wind, his sharp gaze landing on Jay instantly.

They both hesitate for a beat. A silent acknowledgment.

Jay sighs, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He knows what’s coming.

“You look like hell,” Voight remarks, shutting his door with a solid thud.

He huffs out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, well… it’s been a rough few weeks.”

Voight studies him for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, instead of making his way to the door, he jerks his chin toward the entrance on the other side of the lot. “Walk with me.”

He exhales through his nose, knowing there’s no getting out of this. Jay falls into step beside the older man, their boots crunching lightly against the frost-dusted pavement. The silence stretches, bordering on uncomfortable as the cold air wraps around them.

Jay knows Voight isn’t the kind of guy to push, but when he speaks, his voice is steady, carrying that same unshakable authority he always has. “She told me.”

He doesn’t react right away, treading carefully. He keeps his gaze forward, hands still shoved into his pockets, “About what?”

“About you helping her,” Voight nods slightly. “About the deposit box.”

His jaw tightens. He shouldn’t be surprised but knowing what that secret cost him, that he lied to Hailey, makes his stomach twist in anger. “She wasn’t supposed to—”

“Relax,” Voight cuts him off, his voice calm but firm. “I’m not going to stop you.”

Jay frowns, glancing over at him. “You’re not?”

Voight gives a small shrug, “If I wanted to stop you, I would’ve done it already.”

He scoffs, shaking his head, “Then what? You’re just gonna let me keep breaking all the rules for her?” Maybe he wants Voight to stop them. To force him to walk away. Because he knows he’ll never do it on his own.

Voight stops walking, turning to face him fully and stopping him with a hand on his chest. “I’m here to make sure you don’t lose yourself in this.” His gaze is steady, unwavering. “You’ve been through a lot lately.”

Jay swallows hard, looking away. He exhales sharply, his breaths visible in the cold air. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore, Voight.”

Voight nods, like he’s been expecting that, “I know.”

He lets out a bitter chuckle, running a hand over his face. “I mean, jesus. I thought she was dead. And it took a while, but I made peace with that. And now she’s back, and it’s like—” he stops himself, shaking his head as frustration boils over. “Like I don’t even know her anymore.”

 “She’s been through hell, Jay,” the older man says after a beat of silence, “You know that.”

“What about what I’ve been through? What she put me through?” Jay lets out a sharp exhale, staring at the pavement, trying to keep his emotions under control because it is too damn early for this. “I’m trying to be there for her,” he mutters. “But it’s not that simple.”

“No, it’s not,” he agrees. “But nothing worth a damn ever is.”

Jay stares at him, his eyes dark with something unreadable. “She lied to me.”

“I know.”

“She let me believe she was gone. She didn’t give me a choice. Didn’t give us a choice.”

“I know,” Voight repeats, his voice steady.

Jay shakes his head, “And now she’s asking me to risk everything to help her with this.”

But Voight doesn’t flinch, “She’s not asking you to do anything she wouldn’t do for you.”

“That’s not the point,” he snaps, his frustration finally breaking through. Even though he knows it’s true, knows they’ve already been here before. Derek Keyes, Lonnie Rodiger, Terry, Ellie… She backed his play without question, without a second thought, whenever he needed it. She jumped in feet first, and he didn’t even have to ask. He takes a step back, raking a hand through his hair. “I can’t forgive her for what she did, Voight.”

Voight studies him carefully, his next words measured. “You’re angry. And you should be. But that anger isn’t just about what she did.” He pauses, letting it sink in, “It’s about how much you still care about her in spite of it.”

The heavy truth in the statement is too much and Jay has to look away, clenching his jaw.

“I know what you went through when we lost her,” Voight takes a step towards him. “I saw what it did to you. And I know you’re still carrying that with you. If anyone understands, you know I do.” A haunted look flickers in his eyes, memories of Justin and Alvin threatening to swallow him whole.

Jay swallows hard—two years of emptiness, of staring at an empty grave that shouldn’t exist, of drinking himself into numbness just to get through the night. “She’s not the same,” he murmurs. His voice is quieter now, tinged with something almost vulnerable. “She’s… harder. Colder. She refuses to let me in. And I don’t know how to reach her.”

Voight exhales, nodding slowly. “I know she’s different. And so are you.” He holds his gaze, “But if anyone can get through to her, it’s you.”

Jay lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head, “Why?” Why does it have to be me?

Voight’s voice is unwavering, “Because she trusts you. Because you know her better than anyone.”

Jay stiffens. His throat tightens, his stomach twisting in protest. He wants to argue, wants to deny it. The words are on the tip of his tongue. Not anymore… But they don’t come out. Because maybe, just maybe, Voight isn’t wrong.

He looks down, his hands curling into fists in his pockets, “I don’t know if I can do this, Hank.”

“You can.” His voice is gentler, in that gruff, Voight way as he claps a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring, “And you will. Because she needs you. And whether you want to admit it or not… you need her too.”

He stands there, frozen, as the words sink in. Jay doesn’t know where he and Avery stand. Doesn’t know if there’s a way forward. But as he watches Voight walk inside the garage, his words echo in his head.

Because she needs you. And you need her too.

Jay exhales, his breath shaky. Then, finally, he heads inside.

The locker room is quiet, a stark contrast to the usual chaos of the district. Jay leans against the metal bench, head tilted back against the cool lockers as he lets out a slow, controlled breath. He should be at his desk. He should be doing something productive, catching up on paperwork. Instead, he’s here, hiding.

Avoiding.

It’s been like this for days. Ever since Hailey left his apartment, ever since their relationship officially crashed and burned. Every second between them is tense and awkward, leaving him wishing he was anywhere else. And when they aren’t forced to be interacting for work, he can feel her gaze watching him. Studying his every move, every interaction. And Avery? That’s been worse.

She hasn’t done anything wrong. No probing questions, no comments, no knowing looks. Nothing. She’s just there, in his space, existing like things are supposed to be normal when nothing is. And even though it shouldn’t, even though he should be more affected by the dooming of his relationship, that kills him more than anything.

Because of that, he’s been keeping his distance at work, making sure their conversations stay short. Professional. But it doesn’t matter. He can feel his partner’s eyes on him whenever Avery’s near, can see the tension ripple through her every time he and Avery so much as breathe in the same direction.

And now? The guilt is suffocating.

So he’s here, in the goddamn locker room, hiding like a coward.

The door creaks open, and he immediately straightens. He’s not sure who he expects, fearing it’ll be Hailey with another conversation he’s not ready for, fearing she’ll tell him that their partnership is over too. But instead, Adam strolls in, his expression casual but his movements deliberate.

“Got a minute?” Adam asks lightly, but there’s an edge behind it.

Jay narrows his eyes, already bracing himself for whatever’s coming. “Yeah.”

Adam doesn’t sit. He stands across from him, arms crossed, lips pressing into a thin line before cutting straight to it. “What’s going on with you and Avery?”

Shaking his head with an eye roll and a scoff, he stands and moves to root around inside his locker. “What are you talking about, man?”

“You drove her to work this morning,” the younger man says with an unimpressed eyebrow raised.

“She had a migraine last night and didn’t want to drive, so I gave her a ride home,” he lies without skipping a beat. The reality is that they left straight from work to spend the night in his truck, watching the warehouse for any sign of Nikolai Volkov, both of them pretending the distance between them wasn’t getting growing with every second of silence.

Adam eyes him, his protective side outweighing anything else. He can’t stand to see his best friend get hurt when she is just barely finding her footing. But he can see how much it’s killing her. He lets out a long sigh, “Look, I get it. I know it must’ve hurt when she wanted me to be her partner and asked for some space. I know you want to be friends. But if this is going to mess with her head—”

“Mess with her head?” Jay cuts him off, his voice rising slightly as he turns to face him. “I don’t need a lecture from you of all people.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, annoyed at whatever implication lingers in the air.

Jay tilts his head, gritting his teeth painfully. He wonders just how much he can push this, how far he can stretch the lie in order to get the truth. “She told me what happened between you two,” he says carefully, baiting.

Stiffening, his eyes flicker with surprise for a brief moment before he schools his expression. She said she wasn’t going to, but maybe she changed her mind once he decided to tell Kim, wanting a clean slate as they try to make their relationship work. Adam narrows his eyes, “She told you?”

“Yeah.” His jaw clenches, knowing by the reaction that he was right to suspect something happened between them. “So don’t sit here and act like you’re just her protective big brother.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Adam shakes his head defensively, his frustration mounting.

Jay crosses his arms tightly over his chest, “Then what was it like?”

“It was,” he hesitates, “complicated.”

He throws his head back, barking out a humorless laugh. “Complicated? Kim’s having your kid, and the best you can do is complicated?”

Temper flaring, Adam grits out, “It was one time. It was right after she came back, we were drinking—”

“That makes it better?” he shoots back with a step forward.

“Look,” his patience snaps, voice rising, “she needed someone. Someone who actually gave a damn about her when she was falling apart. Where the hell were you?”

The words nearly knock him off his feet, and Jay stops breathing for a moment. His hands curl into fists, because he can’t think about that. He can barely stomach the guilt he is already feeling. So instead, he focuses on the pure anger that threatens to overtake him at the image that flashes behind his eyes. “So, you—what? Decided to help her with your dick?”

Adam’s face darkens, his fists twitching at his sides. “Oh, fuck off, Halstead. You weren’t there. You didn’t see how broken she was seeing that you moved on.” His voice lowers, but the intensity remains. “So yeah, I was there for her. Not for some hookup. Not for whatever bullshit you think this is. But because I actually care about her. And maybe if you weren’t lying to yourself, wrapped up in your own guilt, you’d see that too.”

The jealousy, the frustration, the anger—it all collides, white-hot and uncontrollable as the words are like a match to gasoline. Jay doesn’t think. His fist collides with Adam’s jaw before he even realizes it. The impact reverberates through his arm, fingers flexing at the dull ache already forming.

Adam stumbles back, his hand flying to his face. His eyes blaze with fury as he whirls back around. “Bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?” he shouts, shoving the other man’s chest roughly.

“Hey!” Avery’s voice slices through the air, her footsteps echoing as she storms into the room. “What the hell is going on in here?”

Both men freeze, their heavy breathing filling the silence as Avery moves between them without hesitation, her eyes darting between their tense, furious faces. Her gaze locks on Jay, narrowing as she takes in the flush on his face and the way his fist is still clenched. “Did you punch him?” she demands sharply.

Jay doesn’t answer, his jaw tightening as he finally breaks away from Adam’s glare. But he can’t look at her, can’t see what he knows is in her waiting eyes.

Already knowing the answer, Avery scoffs before rounding on her partner. “And you—what did you say to him?”

Adam rubs his jaw, moving it back and forth gently. “Nothing he didn’t deserve.”

She groans in frustration, running a hand through her hair, fingers getting caught in the tangles. “Unbelievable. You two are supposed to be professionals, friends, and you’re in here fighting like children. Over what? Me?”

When Adam opens his mouth, she places a strong hand against his chest with a light shove that forces him a half-step back, and Jay tries to hide the fact that he notices. “I don’t need you to defend my honor,” she chastises, only turning away when he lowers his head sheepishly. Avery narrows her eyes at Jay, “What is your problem?”

Jay’s eyes finally snap to hers, his frustration and jealousy lingering below the surface. He grits his teeth, his pulse still pounding with the low hum of adrenaline. He knows this isn’t about Adam. Not really. It’s about… everything. The distance, reminding him that he doesn’t know her anymore. The nights spent in his truck, twisting him into thinking that no time has passed. The way she keeps looking at him like they didn’t leave each other in pieces. Like she didn’t leave him in pieces, shattered like that blood-smeared glass.

Clearing his throat, Adam’s voice is quieter now, more resigned. “I’m gonna go.” He throws Avery one last glance before turning and walking out, his footsteps heavy as the door clicks shut behind him.

Avery doesn’t take her eyes off Jay, her frustration crackling in the stale air. “I told you to stop making this about Adam,” she seethes. “You don’t get to pick fights with him just because you’re pissed at me.”

“You really think this is about Adam?” he asks, voice low and rough as he takes a step toward her. She folds her arms, but there’s something else in her eyes now. Wariness. Hurt. A challenge lingers, though, and Jay huffs out a bitter laugh when she just arches a brow, shaking his head before dragging a hand over his face. “You really don’t get it, do you?

“Then enlighten me,” she bites out quickly. She thought they were over this. That they were moving forward—or at least settling into something more tenable, an understanding that they could co-exist in.

He takes another step closer, the heat between them palpable, the space between them charged with everything they still haven’t said. “You come back from the dead, and you act like I’m the one who changed,” he grits out. “Like I’m the problem. You push me away, tell me we need distance, and then what? Drag me back in like this is some kind of game?”

She flinches, just barely, but it’s enough for him to see it. “You think I planned that?” Avery snaps, stepping toe to toe, pretending like she isn’t afraid. Not of him, no. But of them—the two of them, together. “You think I wanted to wake up in a hospital bed with two years of my life missing?”

His jaw clenches impossibly tight, the pain somehow grounding him. “Then why the hell have you spent every second since you came back acting like I’m the one who left you?” Her breath hitches audibly, but Jay doesn’t stop. He can’t. He’s done holding this in. “You chose Adam as your partner. You kept your distance. It took days for you to come see me when I almost died, and then you just walked out,” he spits out, his voice breaking. “And now you want to act like I’m the bad guy? When I’m still putting everything on the line to help you?”

Deafening silence stretches between them, heavy and suffocating. Her lips press into a tight line, her hands clenching at her sides. “You think this has been easy for me?” she finally whispers, her voice shaking. “I know what I did, the choices I made. But I didn’t choose to have my entire life ripped away from me.”

His chest tightens as tears well in her eyes, “Avery…”

“No, you don’t get to be the victim here,” she says, voice raw, stepping even closer until there’s barely a breath between them. “You didn’t have to wake up in a nightmare. You didn’t have to piece together a past you don’t even remember. You didn’t have to see the man you—” she stops herself, sucking in a shaky breath before continuing. “The man you thought was still yours, standing in the hallway, holding someone else’s hand.”

His throat goes dry at the realization. She saw him. She woke up confused and hurt. And instead of opening her eyes to him at her side, she saw him with Hailey.

“I woke up like it was one day,” Avery’s voice breaks.

His hands tremble at his sides as he swallows roughly, “Ave.”

Her face twists, her walls slamming back into place. “You want to be mad at me? Fine. But don’t you dare pretend like you’re the only one who got hurt.”

Jay looks away, his jaw tight as he forces himself to breathe. She’s right. Of course she’s right. But that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

“You should go,” she mutters, stepping back in desperate need of space. “Before we say something we can’t take back.”

But Jay doesn’t move.

He should. He knows he should.

Instead, he does something stupid.

He reaches out.

His fingers brush against her wrist, and she sucks in a sharp breath, her entire body going still. Her pulse beats wildly under his fingertips, and for a second—just a second—she lets him hold on.

Then she yanks her arm away like he’s burned her.

“This isn’t fair,” Avery whispers, voice barely audible.

Jay swallows hard, “No. It’s not.”

She takes another step back, putting real distance between them now. “We can’t keep doing this.” I can’t keep doing this.

He exhales slowly as something twists in his stomach. A heavy, overwhelming sense of dread. Finally, he nods, “I know.”

Neither of them moves. Neither of them leaves.

The locker room door creaks open again, and they both snap their heads toward it.

Kevin’s slightly wide-eyed gaze flicks between them, eyebrows raising high into his forehead. “Uh… is this a bad time?”

Blinking rapidly, Avery shakes her head before turning on her heel and forcing a smile. “No. I was just leaving.”

Jay watches her go, his stomach dropping as she pushes past Kev without another word.

The bass from the speakers pulses through Avery’s chest, the thrum of the music matching the erratic rhythm of her heartbeat. The bar is crowded, bodies pressing together on the dance floor, voices raised in laughter and conversation that blurs into a dull roar. She sits at the bar, her half-empty glass of whiskey in front of her, the amber liquid catching the flashing neon lights that paint the room in shades of red and blue.

Her head was heavy, spinning slightly as she takes another sip, the alcohol burning its way down her throat. It doesn’t taste good—not really—but it helps. Helps blur the sharp edges of her thoughts, dulls the ache that’s been clawing at her chest all week.

She hasn’t talked to Jay since their fight in the locker room. Since he grabbed her wrist. Since she yanked away. He hasn’t come to the stakeouts the last two nights, leaving her to sit in her car alone, the silence screaming at her. He hasn’t offered, and she hasn’t asked.

She should be glad. Should be relieved.

Instead, she feels like the tight coil that was barely holding her together is unraveling.

More memories have been coming back every single time she closed her eyes, jagged and painful, clawing their way to the surface no matter how much she tried to bury them. Her mind flickers to Nikolai, to the sound of her own screams echoing in that cold, damp room. To his voice, low and cruel, asking her over and over, Who are you?

Avery squeezes her eyes shut, pressing her fingers to her temples as if she could will the images away. But they are relentless, invading her thoughts like a storm she couldn’t escape. Everything feels tangled and messy, her emotions an unbearable weight she can only lessen with alcohol.

She hates herself for how much she thinks about Jay. Every moment they spend together feels like a lifeline, but it also reopens old wounds. She thought she was doing the right thing by pushing him away, by letting him move on with Hailey. But now, she isn’t sure. She misses him. But it’s clear how hurt and angry he is. She doesn’t know how much longer they can do this back and forth before one of them breaks, shatters into so many pieces that it’ll be impossible to glue back together. What they have now isn’t sustainable, not in this job. Not with both of them in this unit.

“Avery.” The voice comes from beside her, smooth, familiar. She blinks, looking up to find one of the club’s regulars Mark—or maybe Matt?—leaning against the bar next to her. His lips curl into a knowing smirk. “Didn’t expect to see you here again,” he says, tilting his head as his eyes rake over her. “You good?”

She forces a smirk, even though her stomach is twisting. “Do I not look good?”

He chuckles, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small baggie. A few little white pills clink together inside. He holds it between two fingers, offering them to her like a gift. “Here. This’ll help.”

Her breath catches in her throat, her pulse quickening as her eyes narrow in on the bag. Her body reacts before her mind can catch up, her hand curling tightly around her glass as she fights the urge to reach for it.

It would be so easy. One pill. One small pill to take the edge off. Just enough to forget. To stop the memories, the guilt, the pain.

The man leans closer, taking out two of the pills and slipping them into her hand, “On the house. You look like you could use it.”

Avery stares at them, rolling them in her palm experimentally. The urge is a living thing, crawling up her throat, sinking its claws into her skin.

Just one.

She needs to get out of here. Slamming her palm on the table, she quickly jumps to her feet. His words of protest come, but she doesn’t hear it. She’s already backing away, shoving through the crowd of drunk people, her breaths coming painfully fast.

Her feet carry her out of the club and into the cold Chicago night, the icy air slapping her in the face. Her hands shake as she digs her phone out of her pocket. She barely registers what she’s doing, who she’s calling. Her fingers move on autopilot.

The call rings twice before Adam picks up, his voice groggy, “Hello?”

“Can I come over?” she asks, her voice hoarse, barely above the pounding of the music that can still be heard from the sidewalk.

There’s a pause on the other end, then a quiet sigh. “Yeah. Of course.”

She nods even though he can’t see it, mumbling a quick, “Be there soon,” before hanging up. She stares at the screen for a moment, her breath hitching, before she slips the phone back in her pocket. Avery’s feet start moving before her mind can catch up, the wind biting into her skin and sobering her up just slightly. With every step, she has to fight the desire to turn around. To go back inside that club, back to that guy and back to those magic little pills that can take away all the hurt and the anger and the guilt.

The streets are quiet, the snow falling softly around her as she makes her way through the city, still on edge. Her breath comes in short, visible puffs, her boots crunching against the frozen pavement. She doesn’t know what she was going to say when she gets there. She’s still pissed at him for starting a fight with Jay. How am I the bad guy when I’m the one who got sucker punched? His disbelieving voice rings in her head making a small smile tug at her lips, just enough to distract her for a moment.

When Avery reaches the apartment building, she stares up at the brick and blinks slowly, trying to make sense of her fragmented thoughts. She bites her lip, realizing that she probably shouldn’t be here. Before she can decide to cut and run, though, an older man with a dog opens the door and she slips inside with a casual smile. Her mind races as she climbs the stairs, the beat of the club’s music still thrumming under her skin. By the time she reaches the door, her breathing is shallow, her emotions a tangled mess. She raises her hand, hesitating for a split second before knocking.

prev . . . next

[umi-adxhira]

ᝰ.ᐟ SERENITY | 015

FANDOM: TWTPTFLOB

WARNINGS: Eyes, blood, implied murder

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Reader tweaks out this chaoter ngl

◄ PREVIOUS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ►

You and Roxana walk side by side, your steps light on the cold marble floors of the Agriche estate. The conversation between you is relaxed, almost mundane in comparison to the constant tension that lingers between you two. It’s rare to find a moment of peace here, so you try to enjoy it while it lasts.

You and Roxana walk side by side, your steps light on the cold marble floors of the Agriche estate. The dim candlelight casts elongated shadows along the hallway, making the atmosphere feel heavier than it already is. The scent of blood and roses lingers faintly in the air, an all-too-familiar reminder of where you are. Despite that, the conversation between you and Roxana is surprisingly light.

“Did you hear?” Roxana muses, her voice smooth and composed. “Apparently during his mission, Dion actually let someone live. Shocking, isn’t it?”

You huff a quiet laugh. “Are you sure he didn’t just change his mind at the last second? Maybe he got bored.”

She tilts her head slightly, considering. “Perhaps. Either way, it’s rare for him to show restraint.”

“Wait, how do you even know that?”

“The guards and servants like to gossip. Apparently one of the guards who accompanied Dion came back to Agriche on father’s orders and told others,”

You shake your head. “This family is full of surprises,” you say dryly.

Roxana hums in agreement, but before she can reply, you suddenly collide into someone.

The impact is sudden, but not enough to send you stumbling. Still, the sharpness of the moment takes you by surprise. You take a step back, glancing at the person you bumped into. The first thing you see is a head of fiery red hair.

Charlotte Agriche.

Your stomach sinks. Even before she opens her mouth, you brace yourself for the inevitable. “Watch where you’re going, idiot!” she shrieks, her young face twisted into a scowl. Her small hands curl into fists at her sides, but her presence is anything but weak.

You straighten yourself, sighing. “Sorry, Charlotte. I wasn’t looking.”

Your apology is immediate, not because you particularly care about her feelings, but because it’s easier to de-escalate things before they spiral. Unfortunately, Charlotte doesn’t seem to accept it.

“Hah?! Do you think that’s enough?” she huffs, voice rising. “You should be more careful! Or do you just not care about getting in my way?” you hold back a groan, forcing yourself to stay calm. Roxana, on the other hand, steps forward.

“Charlotte, be quiet,” she says smoothly, her golden eyes watching her younger sister with a warning glint.

But Charlotte is undeterred. “Shut up! You two are both useless! I hope Father gets rid of you both!”

That makes you stiffen. You had expected insults, but there’s something unsettling about hearing a child wish for your death so casually. It doesn’t help that you remember exactly how this girl turns out in the manhwa - her entitlement, her fury when Cassis was taken from her. Roxana had only managed to shut her up then by using her illusion butterflies to terrify her.

But right now, you and Roxana have nothing to hold over Charlotte. No leverage. No power. She’s just a twelve-year-old girl screaming her frustrations, and all you can do is take it.

You turn to leave, deciding that engaging with her is pointless. But before you can take a step, a sharp tug halts you. Charlotte has grabbed your wrist.

It’s almost laughable how common this is - people grabbing you by the wrist as if they own you. As if they could just yank you back into place whenever they please. Maybe, you think bitterly, you should just chop your own hand off and hand it to them so they don’t have to keep reaching for it.

Your patience shatters.

“Shut up!” you snap, your voice cutting through the air like a whip. Charlotte freezes, wide-eyed. The girl immediately lets go of your wrist. “You can’t keep acting like a spoiled brat just because you’re born privileged!” you continue, words tumbling out faster than you can think to stop them. “I don’t care what you’ve been through - everyone here has suffered in one way or another. You’re not special! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your mouth shut and stop acting like the world owes you something!”

The silence that follows is deafening. Charlotte stares at you, stunned into speechlessness for the first time since you met her. There’s a lot of words I want to yell out that won’t end well for me. Stupid girl.

You don’t wait for her to recover. Turning on your heel, you walk away, your steps quick and unyielding. Roxana matches your pace, her own expression unreadable. Behind you, a faint, choked whimper reaches your ears.

Guilt pricks at you, but you shove it aside. She deserved it. She had it coming. Right? “I didn’t think you had it in you,” Roxana finally says, her tone almost amused.

You let out a breath, still reeling from your own outburst. “I didn’t think so either.”

The truth is, you’ve never yelled like that before. Not at anyone, let alone a child. But Charlotte had gotten under your skin in a way that no one else had. You wonder if you’ll regret it later, but for now, all you can feel is the dull thrum of lingering anger and something dangerously close to satisfaction.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Later in the day, you find yourself walking along the corridor, heading to Griselda’s room. The lessons on mannerisms are long over, but you aren’t seeking her for etiquette. You simply wish to be in her presence, to absorb the rare calmness she exudes in this twisted household. Unlike the rest of the Agriche family, Griselda doesn’t smother you with cruelty. Being around her is like standing in a quiet oasis amidst a burning wasteland. With Roxana, I constantly have to be aware of what I say and how I say it. It’s exhausting. But with Griselda, I can say what I want however I want.

As you approach her door, a sharp voice calls out to you.

“You!”

You turn and see Charlotte again. Her face is twisted in an expression you can’t quite read - anger, defiance, something else lurking beneath. She marches toward you, shoving a small box into your hands.

“What’s this?” you ask cautiously.

“Just take it!” she snaps, eyes gleaming with something almost manic.

You frown but accept the box. Something about this feels wrong, but a small, absurd part of you wonders if this is a gift. An attempt at reconciliation? That thought vanishes as soon as you lift the lid.

Your breath catches in your throat. Inside the box lie a pair of eyeballs, torn and mangled, surrounded by strips of skin still attached to the optic nerves. The flesh is fresh, raw, as if the person it belonged to had only recently lost them.

A shudder runs through you, nausea clawing at your stomach. You snap your gaze back to Charlotte, but she’s already turned away, her small form retreating down the corridor before you can utter a word.

You stand frozen, staring down at the grotesque gift in your hands, your mind racing.

What the hell is she trying to say?