#but see the thing is that her just saying that doesn’t change anything.

[dragontatoes]

?????

1. I feel like I'm proving water is wet but here's a few sources about testosterone's effects on energy x x x x

2. I think they’re saying that a small dose of T will give you the same changes as larger doses, thus, women taking T will grow beards or something. See my next point on why that doesn't makes sense.

3. Almost everyone has some amount of both E and T in their body and they aren’t “opposite”, they’re just two kinds of hormones that play complimentary roles in the body x . Plenty of hormones, including forms of both E and T, convert to one another as part of normal physiological function. However, she should get her levels checked (like everyone is required when taking HRT) and should not let her spouse admit to a felony on twitter.

4. I’ll agree that everyone should talk with an endo about any hrt before getting their hopes up.

5. It’s controlled bc athletes cheat with it. The FDA doesn’t place it in schedule 3 because it's just as addictive or as harmful as anything else on schedule 3, it's only to bar access to Weightlifter Joe. They're not protecting Transgender Joe.

The “detrimental” effects come on with very high doses and are still mainly things like higher cholesterol and high red count, which are just as likely in cisgender men with the same levels. The same goes for an overdose of iron supplements, which could be accomplished through eating a few too many flintstone vitamins. If you follow labels and get a blood test every 3-12 months you’re gonna be fine, and, barring those that obtain it illegally, you're required to do that.

Doctors do not prescribe testosterone like tic tacs and, imo, the concept that they or the trans ppl that take it are doing so irresponsibly is catering to conservative attempts to strip our right to use it

[marysfics]

Through the Dust

Alexia Putellas x DownhillRacer!Reader

Status: Ongoing

Other Chapters: click here

This is a multichapter fic, and trust me, you’re in for one wild ride. Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Grief, Kisses.

Word count: 1.8k

Chapter 6: ''The Brink of Something Real''

A few weeks had passed since the mountain cabin, and things had settled into an almost comfortable rhythm. You and Alexia had stayed in touch, messages and calls filling the spaces in between your busy schedules. She was back in Spain now, her pre-season training ramping up with the team, but even then, you could feel the connection between you two still lingering, soft and unspoken. You weren’t rushing into anything, not yet. You both needed time to figure out what it all meant—whatever "it" was—but there was a comfort in knowing that she was there. That you were talking.

You couldn’t say no when they asked you. It was an opportunity you’d dreamed of—an event that had long been seen as a men’s-only challenge. But now? It felt like everything had changed. And while the course scared you more than you cared to admit, it also pushed you to the edge in a way nothing else had. This was your chance. But, as always, the nervous buzz of competition made it hard to keep your mind focused on anything else.

Before the race, Alexia had called you. She’d been insistent, her voice a mix of teasing and something softer underneath.

"I’m watching, you know," she’d said, almost defiantly, like she was challenging herself to be there. "I’m dragging my mother and sister in front of the TV to watch you."

You had to laugh, picturing her usual unflappable self being so... invested. "Are they even into downhill racing?" you asked, a teasing smile on your lips.

Alexia’s chuckle filled your ears. "My sister is asking more questions than I can answer, and my mom keeps raising an eyebrow at me. She doesn’t get it, but... I think she knows it’s important. She sees me getting all nervous."

You felt a soft heat in your chest at the thought of Alexia’s family watching you. Nervous? You smiled, pushing aside the flutter of excitement and anxiety that came with it. "Tell them to keep their eyes peeled. I’ll show them how it’s done."

A little later in Alexia's apartment, Alexia was sitting with her arms crossed, her legs bouncing restlessly. She kept glancing at her phone, waiting for the race to begin. It was strange for Eli and Alba, having Alexia—who had never shown much interest in extreme sports—suddenly insisting that they watch a dangerous downhill cycling race. Eli had her reservations, but when Alexia had insisted so strongly, she knew something was going on.

"Why are we watching this again?" Alba asked, eyeing the screen with confusion as she adjusted the pillows on the couch. "Since when do you watch things like this, Ale?"

Alexia didn’t answer immediately, focusing instead on the screen where the pre-race interviews were playing. She had a nervous energy about her that Eli couldn’t ignore, the way her daughter’s foot tapped restlessly against the floor. It was clear to Eli that this race was more than just a race for Alexia.

Her eyes narrowed, a knowing look passing between her and Alba. “You’re nervous,” Eli said softly, watching her daughter closely. “Why? What’s going on?”

Alexia froze for a moment, her lips pressing together as she looked at her mom, but then her gaze drifted back to the screen. “I’m not nervous. I just… want her to be safe. It’s her last race of the season, Mom.”

Alba leaned in with interest, still oblivious. “Safe? Who are you talking about, Ale? You barely even know the riders."

Eli raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? You never watch anything like this, Ale. But now you’re glued to it?” She paused, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “It’s about more than just the race, isn’t it?”

Alexia’s face flushed slightly, and she avoided her mother’s gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quickly, but the slight blush creeping up her neck told Eli everything she needed to know.

Alba looked back and forth between them, her curiosity piqued. “What do you mean? What’s going on, Ale?”

Eli watched Alexia, sensing the moment of truth. Finally, she broke her silence, her voice soft but teasing. “Ale, are you seeing someone from this race?”

Alexia’s face turned bright red. “Maybe,” she mumbled, but it was enough to send Alba into a state of shock.

“Oh my God,” Alba gasped, her eyes wide. “Are you dating someone from the race? What is this? You’ve never been like this before!”

Alexia let out a small groan, her face still flushed. “It’s not like that, okay? She’s planning to visit soon. After this, she’s got the off-season. She’ll come here, and… we’ll see how it goes.” Her words were rushed, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, but there was something undeniably soft in the way she said it.

Eli smiled warmly at her daughter, sensing the subtle shift in Alexia’s energy as she spoke about you. "Well, it sounds like you’re really fond of her," Eli said, her voice gentle but knowing. "It’s nice to see you like this, Ale. I haven't seen you this excited about someone in a long time."

Alexia’s face flushed again, a little more this time, and she glanced at the TV where you were making your way toward the finish line. "It’s just... different, Mom. She’s different. I just... feel good when I talk to her." Her voice trailed off slightly, as if unsure of how to explain what she was feeling, but the sincerity in her words was clear. "And she’s been through a lot, too. I respect that."

Alba tilted her head, still processing the information. “Wait a second. Are you telling me you’re seeing a woman, Ale?” The question was blunt, but there was no judgment in it, just the curiosity of a younger sister trying to make sense of something new.

Alexia opened her mouth to respond but hesitated. There was something about this moment, a quiet realization that maybe she didn’t need to hide it anymore. She looked over at her mother, then back at Alba. "Yeah," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. "I think I am."

Eli let out a soft sigh, her smile widening as she nudged Alba playfully. "You’re looking at her like she’s grown a second head. Relax, Alba. Your sister’s allowed to have a life outside of football."

Alba blinked, clearly still processing, but she finally shrugged. "Okay, fine. But you have to promise me something, Ale."

Alexia raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You better introduce us to her when she comes to visit," Alba said with a grin. "I want to know everything. You can’t just drop this bomb on me and leave me hanging!"

Alexia laughed, the tension in her body easing. "I promise," she said, her voice softening. "You’ll meet her soon. And you can ask all the questions you want, okay?"

Alba gave a satisfied nod. “Good. But seriously, Ale, I’m kind of in shock right now. My big sister is dating someone from downhill cycling? What even is that sport? How did you end up with someone so... different?"

Alexia let out a small laugh, trying to shake off the teasing but feeling a little flustered. "It’s just a sport, Alba," she said, brushing her hair behind her ear. "It's actually pretty intense. You'd be surprised."

Alba raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Intense? You mean, like, you just race down a mountain on a bike at insane speeds and call that 'intense'?" She let out a dramatic sigh. "Sounds like something out of a movie. Are you sure you're not falling for someone who’s just trying to get themselves killed?"

Eli shot a look at Alba, a quiet warning in her gaze, but Alexia couldn’t help but laugh again. "I wouldn’t put it that way, but… yeah, it’s a bit crazy. But there’s more to it than just the danger. It’s about skill, control, knowing yourself, your limits. It’s a lot like football, in a way," Alexia explained, though she wasn't sure if her sister really understood.

Alba crossed her arms, still skeptical but clearly intrigued. "I guess. But what’s she like, Ale? Like, really like? You’ve got me curious now."

Alexia hesitated for a moment, her thoughts wandering back to you. She was still processing everything that had happened since they'd met—how you’d slipped under her guard so easily, how your laugh made her stomach flip. "She’s different," Alexia said finally, her voice softer now. "I can’t even really explain it. She’s real. And there’s something about her that’s… refreshing."

Alba looked at her older sister, clearly seeing how this conversation was affecting her. "Uh huh," she said, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "I bet she’s got you all twisted up in knots."

Alexia rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. "Maybe."

Meanwhile, as the race continued on the screen, Alexia’s attention was mostly on you. You were approaching the final stretch, and every twist, every jump, every corner, had her on the edge of her seat. Her heart pounded harder as you got closer to the finish line.

She glanced over at her mother and Alba, who were sitting on either side of her, both of them oblivious to the quiet storm of nerves swirling inside her. Alba had a knowing look on her face, but she didn’t say anything more. Instead, she turned her focus back to the race, watching the way you maneuvered through the last few hurdles of the course.

Suddenly, Alba leaned forward, eyes widening. "Wait a minute… that’s her, isn’t it?" she asked, pointing at the screen.

Alexia’s breath caught in her throat as she watched you in action. It was one thing to hear about the race, another to see you in your element, your confidence and determination shining through every turn.

The way you held your line, how you pushed through the hardest parts without hesitation, made something in Alexia’s chest tighten. She could almost hear your voice in her head, that same soft but firm tone you had when you said you’d be okay. But now, watching you race, she realized just how much she cared, how much she hoped you would cross that finish line without injury, without trouble.

As you made the final push and crossed the finish line with the fastest time, Alexia let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. It was more than just relief—it was pride. You’d done it. And something deep inside her shifted.

Alba, still watching intently, leaned back with a grin. "Well, looks like Ale’s in love," she said, her voice teasing but light.

Alexia, still holding her breath from the race, turned to her sister. "What?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

Alba’s eyes gleamed. "Come on, Ale. I’m not blind. You’ve got that lovesick look in your eyes. I can tell. That’s her, isn’t it?"

Alexia's face went bright red, and she turned away quickly, her heart hammering in her chest. "I’m not... I don’t know," she mumbled, her words tripping over themselves.

But Alba was persistent. "You definitely know. Don’t even try to deny it." She glanced at their mom, who was watching with amusement.

"Mom, tell her. She’s totally into her."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of chapter 6.

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 2) Chapter Nineteen

Saiki Kusuo x Reader

Chapter Nineteen: Insecurity and Talkative Transfer

Summary: Teruhashi tries to figure out what Saik is attracted to, and a new transfer arrives.

            “Teruhashi is pretty again today.”

            “She’s an angel.”

            “I’m soothed just by looking at her.”

            I can hear everything you’re saying, you know, thought Teruhashi. But she kept that perfect smile on her face. Pretending not to hear is annoying for me. I’m a vulnerable maiden who doesn’t know how pretty I am. Don’t make me break that disguise. She winced internally. She knew that (Y/N) was encouraging her to be herself, but performing was so easy… I can’t look selfish…I can’t. Pretend not to hear.

            “Kusuo,” said (Y/N), sitting down next to Saiki. “Are we going to Café Mami and studying later?”

            Saiki nodded.

            Teruhashi sighed and watched them. (Y/N) makes it look so easy. They act like themself and don’t worry about anything. And they get to go and talk to Saiki all the time. He won’t even look my way, but he talks to them…They’re really close.

            Yare yare. If she gets suspicious and not just jealous, that could be a problem.

            I wonder if they’re his type. I mean—I must be. I’m everyone’s type. So why… Teruhashi furrowed her brow. I’ll have to try something new.

l

            (Y/N) tilted their head in confusion as they walked into school the next day. “Kokomi…Are you trying a new style?” they said.

            “Oh, this?” Teruhashi nervously touched the necklace and bead bracelets she had put on. “I just thought it looked nice.” Her backpack was also covered in pins of sweets. And you wear pink and cute things a lot…

            Indeed, while (Y/N) had their germanium earrings in, they still occasionally wore some accessories. Sometimes it was a bow, sometimes a scarf, sometimes it was just the pins and keychains on their backpack—all usually featuring strawberries, cherries, hearts, or sweets. ((Y/N) had earned the “Pinky” nickname from Nendou for a reason).

            “You do look nice,” agreed (Y/N). “It’s just not your usual style. Are you okay?”

            Teruhashi faltered. Was it really that easy to see? Could everyone see she had changed for someone else? Internally, she panicked.

            (Y/N) is perceptive with everyone, it seems.

            “I’m fine,” said Teruhashi quickly.

            “Okay,” said (Y/N), sitting down in their seat. They turned and smiled back at Teruhashi. “But remember, Kokomi, you shouldn’t have to change for someone to like you. They’re not worth it if they don’t like you for you.”

            Teruhashi turned a little pink. “You think so?”

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N). “The right person for you will like you for just being you, and you’ll like them for who they are.”

            “If you’re sure,” said Teruhashi, nervously touching the bracelets she’d put on to see sweeter—even sweeter than usual.

            “I’m sure. After all, you have friends who like you for who you are. Some day it’ll be a partner,” said (Y/N) with a wide smile.

            Teruhashi’s face burned, but she smiled slightly. “Thank you, (Y/N).

            “Of course, Kokomi.”

            Teruhashi looked at her bracelets. I shouldn’t have to change. (Y/N) is right. Her identity was still tied to being preferred by guys, but she was trying to not see herself like that. If friends like (Y/N) saw more than that, then maybe she could… I don’t think I’ll wear these tomorrow. If Saiki is going to like me, it’s going to be me! She looked at (Y/N). Maybe that’s why Saiki likes being around (Y/N). They’re just themself. She sat straighter. So that’s what I’ll do!

            Saiki smiled to himself. She had talked herself out of her own suspicions about how close Saiki and (Y/N) were, and (Y/N) had, once again, just been themself and been wonderful. Looks like I’m not the only one who sees just how good (Y/N) is. He paused and then scowled inwardly. Teruhashi better not get a crush on (Y/N). That would be worse than her having a crush on him.

l

            “There’s a new student,” gossiped a few classmates.

            “Again?” sighed another classmate.

            “Everyone is fed up,” said Saiki.

            “Well, we just got Miko a few weeks ago, so it is strange,” said (Y/N).

            “Why not kill off the first transfer student and turn this show into a mystery thriller?” said Saiki.

            “I don’t like scary stories, so no thanks,” said (Y/N), shivering.

            “Transfer student?” said Yumehara. She frowned. “Could it be…”

            “You know them, Chiyopipi?” said Miko.

            “A guy asked me for directions earlier,” she said.

            “Sorry I’m late,” said their teacher, walking into the room. Everyone looked up. “I’ll introduce our newest student.”

            “Wow, I fell kinda nervous,” said a boy, walking into the room. “I’m so excited to spend our exciting youth together. I’m like a child just before he performs a recital. But I don’t play any instrument. Changing first impressions is difficult. I hear psychologists call it the primacy effect. Have you formed an impression of me?”

            “I can’t tell what he looks like,” said everyone as the speech bubbles obscured their view of their new classmate.

            “Sorry for blabbering on,” said the boy, continuing (it seemed he’d be going for a while). “It’s a bad habit of mine.” He brushed the speech bubbles aside. He had short blond hair and dark eyes. He seemed friendly enough. “I say everything I think of.”

            What?

            “I hope you’ll see I’m just honest,” he said.

            “Akechi, can you go ahead and just introduce yourself?” said their teacher.

            “Is it okay if I take my time?” asked Akechi.

            “Keep it short,” said the teacher, sighing.

            “Keep it short?” repeated Akechi. “But the class won’t know who this guy in their classroom is. Then the class won’t be able to concentrate. But it’s also almost time for next period. As they say, ‘when in Rome,’ so I’ll adjust for you. I’ll give a short introduction.”

            “Too late!” exclaimed everyone.

            “My first name is Touma, my last name is Akechi,” said Akechi. “I’m sure you’ll all wondering, ‘Why did he transfer now?’ I actually have a unique skill. I can—”

            “Let’s all make friends with him,” said their teacher, clapping her hands to interrupt. “That’s the end of homeroom.”

            “That’s one crazy guy,” said Kaidou as people stood up and gathered their things.

            “He’s definitely going to fit in,” said (Y/N), chuckling.

            “Touma Akechi,” said Saiki slowly.

            “What is it?” said (Y/N), noticing Saiki’s curious tone.

            “I don’t know,” he said.

            (Y/N) tilted their head and looked at Akechi. Hm.

l

            “The transfer student is sitting alone,” said Kuboyasu.

            “Well, he didn’t exactly make the best first impression,” said Kaidou. “Primacy effect.”

            “Using a new word, I see,” said Saiki, walking to a table.

            “Maybe we should invite him over,” said (Y/N). “It’s probably difficult being a transfer student if you’re not super outgoing.”

            Kuboyasu nodded. He knew the struggle.

            No, he doesn’t, he was just struggling to not beat everyone up.

            “That’s a good idea,” said Kuboyasu.

            “I’ll go, too,” said Kaidou.

            “Wait—” Saiki pouted as (Y/N) walked away from him. What about me?

            “Hi, Akechi,” said (Y/N), smiling. “I’m (L/N), and this is Kuboyasu and Kaidou. Do you want to join us for lunch today?”

            Akechi smiled. “I was getting bored by myself.”

            “Okay, then,” said Kuboyasu. “We’re sitting over there with—”

            “You’re all in my class,” said Akechi. “I’m glad you talked with me. What was everyone talking about? I couldn’t decide what to eat. But I decided to have curry.”

            None of the others could get any words in edgeways. They all sweat-dropped.

            “I’d rather have what you brought instead,” said Akechi. “Oh, I’m sorry, take a seat.”

            (Y/N) looked back at Saiki and smiled apologetically.

            Quit stealing my partner! Saiki grumbled to himself.

            “Damn, Akechi, you sure talk a lot,” said Kuboyasu.

            “I do,” said Akechi. “I’ve been holding back since I got here.”

            “Holding back?” exclaimed Kaidou.

            “Wow,” said (Y/N), impressed with how talkative Akechi was.

            “When I’m still getting to know someone, I just keep—”

            Shut up. Even sitting farther away, Saiki could hear Akechi way too easily. (Also, he was peeved about not getting to sit with (Y/N)).

            “Okay, stop talking for a bit.” Kuboyasu bluntly interrupted. “Just speak up when we ask you a question.”

            “Okay, I’ll be quiet,” said Akechi. “But is it okay to clear my throat? Oh, and I need to eat…”

            “Close your mouth!” said Kuboyasu.

            Akechi covered his mouth and gave a thumbs-up.

            “Ask him something, Shun,” said Kuboyasu.

            “What do you think about death?” said Kaidou instantly.

            “Heavy stuff,” said (Y/N), chuckling.

            That’s your first question?

            “That’s a difficult one!” said Akechi. “Well, that’s a scary thought, but we are mortals, after all—”

            “I see,” said Kaidou, but Akechi wasn’t done.

            “—I try to accept death—”

            “That’s enough,” said Kuboyasu.

            “—Who knows what’ll happen when it comes?”

            “We got it already!”

            “But I haven’t answered yet,” said Akechi.

            “Sorry, that was a bad question.” Kuboyasu looked at (Y/N). “Ask him an easier question.”

            “Do you have any hobbies?” asked (Y/N).

            “Hobbies are what you do in your free time, right? There’s an infinite amount of them,” said Akechi. “For example, I pee in the shower. That could be a hobby.”

            “I don’t think that counts,” said (Y/N).

            Don’t engage with him.

            “That’s still too long! What’s with you, man?!” said Kuboyasu. Kaidou grabbed Kuboyasu before he could jump across the table. “And why are you telling us that you pee in the shower?!”

            “Aren, calm down!” said Kaidou.

            “Uh-oh,” said (Y/N), pushing Kuboyasu back down into his seat.

            “Sorry!” said Akechi. “I don’t want to upset anyone who used to be in a gang.”

            “…”

            Kuboyasu let go and stared at Akechi. “How did you know I was in a gang?”

            “I could tell by looking at you,” said Akechi. “I mean, your glasses are fake. The way your hair and clothes are so tidy. Clearly, you want to go off the impression that you’re normal. But your rough language, subtle musculature, the way you look, and your fists give you away.”

            “Really? Most people wouldn’t notice,” said Kuboyasu.

            “I suppose. It’s apparent to me, though,” said Akechi. “This trait of mine seems to surprise people. People at my previous school used to say I was a psychic.”

            (Y/N) nearly laughed out loud and smothered the reaction.

            Saiki’s eyes widened suddenly, and a faint echo of words flew through his mind. “Wow, how did you do that? You’re like a psychic!” What was that image?

            “Also, I can find lost objects and see through people’s lies,” said Akechi.

            “That’s pretty cool,” said (Y/N), smiling.

            “So you are kind of psychic,” said Kuboyasu.

            “Oh, no, I’m not a psychic,” said Akechi.

            “I know that, psychic powers aren’t real,” huffed Kuboyasu.

            Again, (Y/N) smiled to themself.

            “No, psychic powers are real,” said Akechi. He was completely calm as he spoke, and (Y/N) paused at his serious tone. “I’ve seen them before.”

            Saiki’s eyes widened, and he gripped his tray tightly.

            “What? Tell us!” said Kaidou excitedly.

            (Y/N) furrowed their brow. Is it another psychic? Or is it…Kusuo?

            “You’re so gullible,” said Kuboyasu.

            “Let’s save it for another time,” said Akechi, smiling.

            “You won’t talk about it?” said Kaidou, disappointed.

            “It was when I was in elementary school,” said Akechi. “Something happened one day that could only be explained by psychic powers. So, I was awfully surprised when I came to class and saw him again.”

            Uh-oh, so it is Kusuo, thought (Y/N).

            Akechi turned around to look at Saiki at the table behind them.

            Oh, no.

            “It’s been a while, Kusuo,” said Akechi. “Don’t you remember that day?”

            “Saiki?” said Kuboyasu and Kaidou cluelessly.

            “Did you forget about me?” said Akechi, still looking at the back of Saiki’s head. “Akechi is my mother’s maiden name, so my name used to be Touma Asumi.”

            “You can use psychic powers, can’t you?” said a young Akechi. “Kusuo, that’s amazing!”

            “I’m so glad to see you again!” said Akechi. “I can finally ask you about what I’ve always been wondering about. You’re a psychic, right?”

            Oh, NO!

            “I’ve wanted to ask you about it for ten years since you moved. Are you a psychic?” said Akechi, leaning in.

            Yare yare. I didn’t really want to use this particular power, but I’ll show you. Saiki turned around and trained the most perplexed, confused face ever to exist. Check out this clueless face.

            Everyone stared. (Y/N) resisted the urge to burst out laughing.

            “That face brings back memories!” said Akechi, grinning. “It was during first grade when I asked you the same question, and you made the exact same face.”

            “What do you mean?” said Kuboyasu, frowning.

            “A psychic? What?” said Kaidou. “Saiki, do you know this guy?

            “Yes, we were classmates in elementary school,” said Akechi. “Kusuo suddenly moved away, so it was only for two years. I met Kusuo during the opening ceremony. I wet myself from nervousness, and Kusuo sat next to me—”

            “I didn’t ask you,” said Kaidou, sweat-dropping.

            “Saiki, do you know him?” asked Kuboyasu.

            “It’s true, but it was way back in second grade,” said Saiki. He shrugged and continue to put his clueless face on. “I’m still clueless.”

            “He doesn’t remember,” said (Y/N), trying to cut in and help.

            “And come on, there’s no way he’s a psychic,” chuckled Kuboyasu. “We’ve never seen anything like that.”

            “If he had powers like that, he wouldn’t hide that from us,” said Kaidou. “We were once stranded—”

            Yare yare. I need to think of a plan. He looked at (Y/N), and he saw them glancing at him worriedly.

            “Stranded?” said Akechi.

            “It was awful,” said Kaidou. “If food hadn’t drifted ashore, we would’ve been screwed.”

            “I see.” Akechi was clearly thinking of how suspicious that occurrence was.

            Let’s stop talking about that.

            The bell rang.

            “Oh, it’s time for class,” said (Y/N), standing quickly. “Let’s go before we’re late, Kusuo.”

            “Right.” He stood with (Y/N).

            “By the way, Kusuo,” said Akechi. “I’m 99% sure that incident was your doing. If I can find proof that you have psychic powers, then you’re undeniably involved in that incident. I promise I’ll find the proof—”

            Saiki closed the door of the cafeteria closed. “Yare yare.”

            “Are you alright?” said (Y/N).

            “He knows. If he finds proof, he’ll tell everyone,” said Saiki, clenching his fists.

            (Y/N) took Saiki’s hand. “Hey, we’ll handle it together. Alright?”

            Saiki relaxed slightly. “Yare yare. To think there would be someone who remembers that time in second grade…”

            “What happened?” asked (Y/N).

            “I was young. I lost control of my powers,” said Saiki. He squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. “I’ll tell you more another time. I don’t—I’m not proud of that moment.”

            “That’s alright,” said (Y/N). They would give Saiki time. “But remember, you were young. Things happen. You’re more in control now.”

            “Thank you.”

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[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Thirty

Couple of things - I've been going through it lately and just wanted to get this bit out. I do have more planned but I need a break after this. The Carpenters song referenced is 'all you get from love is a love song' and if you don't know it you can give it a listen and then you'll get the 'broken arm' joke.

They squish together into the phone booth, Steve hitting the numbers almost on reflex now, going through the motions of briefly speaking to Robin’s mom.

He angles the receiver so that Eddie can hear too, their cheeks practically touching, “Steve! Chrissy’s here-”

“Why?” Eddie cuts her off immediately, “not time to close the shop,” he almost sounds a little critical when he says it, making Steve smile.

“I know I know,” Chrissy says, “but he came back!”

“So we waited for him to leave, and we followed him,” Robin adds enthusiastically.

If Steve couldn’t hear for himself that they’re both at Robin’s place, and they’re both absolutely fine, he’d be panicking now, maybe he kind of is, because he’s sort of snippy when he says, “Robin what the fuck, it’s not safe, you two aren’t- you’re not Cagney and Lacy for fucks sake.”

“Steve it’s fine,” Chrissy tells him, “he went to Starcourt, so we went home and called Hopper right away.”

“Good,” Steve breathes a sigh of relief, “okay, so what now?”

“We don’t know,” Robin admits, “we’re just waiting to hear now. See what happens?”

“Okay we could...Eddie, you want to kill some time in town, and we can call again later?”

“Yeah” Eddie pulls back his sleeve to check his princess watch, “...lunch. And shopping?”

“Sure thing baby.”

Chrissy squeaks down the phone, “oh you’re both just too cute together.”

“Oh my god don’t encourage them.”

“Oh!” Chissy starts, “I met El and all the rest of the kids, isn’t she just, so cool? She made some pens float around!”

“El is the fewest bad kid. She’s quiet,” Eddie agrees, but Steve is absolutely certain Eddie’s warmed to the kids a lot over the last couple of months, so he knows Eddie doesn’t really mean it like that.

“Least,” Steve corrects softly, “she’s the least bad. Probably.”

“Best of a bad bunch?” Robin hazards.

“Maybe,” Eddie tells her, “we can come home soon?”

“Errrr…I mean, see what Hopper says, I guess? We might know later, but you guys shouldn’t come back today anyway, it’s a few hours drive, and you’ll need to pack up and everything, right?”

Steve frowns, as Eddie, very briefly, looks sad, “maybe tomorrow,” he says to Eddie more than the girls, “is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, “I...like the flower shop?”

“You miss it?”

“Yes, and Chrissy. Miss them. I know they’re not gone but...they’re not here.”

“Oh Eddie honey, I miss you too, okay? And when you get back you can come into work, there’s stuff to catch up on,” she whispers then, “Robin isn’t good with the flowers like you.”

“Hey! I’m trying my best here-” but she gives up, everyone else laughing over her.

The payphone starts to beep, “we’ll call later okay!”

Steve’s pretty sure Eddie’s jar will be empty again after today. He’s bought four more records, more Led Zeppelin, plus a Dio record because ‘Rainbow in the Dark’ was playing when they walked in and Eddie really liked it. Steve absolutely certain that the girl with a green Mohawk wearing a Dio shirt sealed the deal, but he's not going to tease Eddie about it.

Eddie comes out of the changing room of the second hand clothes store, showing Steve the jeans he’s trying on. He’s been making do all this time with Steve’s draw string sweats and jeans with a very cinched in belt, so it’s definitely time for Eddie to choose his own things but...Steve wasn’t expecting Eddie to choose anything quite so tight.

“Stevie? What do you think?”

Steve swallows thickly before he answers, he swears Eddie’s only getting away with wearing them because his dicks on the inside, the thing would get strangled otherwise, “you look really good Eds. You like those ones?”

“Yes. Black, like my tail. And look,” Eddie scratches at the ripped fabric, his knees on display, “see my knees. I like to see them, they’re new.”

Steve bites his lips briefly to suppress the chuckle, “you should definitely be proud of those knees, you did grow them yourself.”

Steve frowns at the sight of Eddie in a leather jacket; it’s so very far removed from everything he’s been wearing. It’s so different from all of Steve’s clothes, but Steve can’t deny he’s making it work. It definitely suits the look Eddie’s starting to cultivate. He’s very much leaning towards darker colors, and he was really pleased when he turned up a Led Zeppelin tee shirt out of a pile.

The difference between the Eddie that comes out of the dressing room and the Eddie that went in is startling, Steve’s pullovers and polos all tend to be lighter colors, so all the black is very different.

“You like it?”

“I mean, as long as you like it, sure, you’re the one who has to wear it. But yeah, yeah I do like it. You look good.”

Steve has to stand by while Eddie rummages across a tray of cheap jewellery, “they’ll turn your fingers green,” he warns vaguely. Eddie shrugs, probably not understanding what Steve means as he tries things on, he likes the shiny silver ones that definitely are not silver, “you’re such a magpie.”

Eddie chooses two chunky rings that are so cheap he will get change from his last five dollars, but he clearly likes how they look on his fingers; he doesn’t even take them off to pay for them. Steve knows he’s just here to hold the bags, but he doesn’t mind. Eddie’s worked hard for this money, he should spend it on the things he wants.

Steve meanders through the store, it’s mostly second hand furniture and ‘antiques’, but Steve figures that term is being used very, very loosely. As near as Steve can tell it mostly looks like house clearances and that sort of thing. He spends a little while at the glass cabinets, staring at all the little figurines. 'Dust gatherers,' his dad calls them. There’s some tiny little jade ones, big tall porcelain ones and everything in between.

He’s distracted away from them by the sound of twanging. Bad, uneven twanging on an acoustic guitar. Steve follows the sound, finding Eddie just fiddling with the strings, the guitar still lying on it’s back. It doesn’t have a case, and looks pretty beat to hell to Steve, covered in stickers and all scratched up, but Eddie is entertained by the noises, and he looks up, smiling, “you going to buy it?”

Eddie shakes his head, “not enough left.”

“How much are you short?”

Eddie checks his pocket, and then the little label hanging from the neck, “six dollars?” he hazards.

“Okay, well, I’ve got four left on me, so maybe you can haggle the guy down.”

“I’ll try,” Eddie grins big, taking the change from Steve.

They’ve dropped everything off at the car and, with nothing left to do to kill any more time, they head back to the phone and smush into the booth together.

“He wasn’t there when Hopper got there,” Robin tells them, and Steve sighs, disappointed, “but! El looked into my head real quick, and she says he’s called Doctor Owens. She knew who he was, and she says he’s...nice.”

“Nice,” Steve repeats, deadpan, “a man who facilitated experiments on little kids. Nice.”

“Well...I mean maybe as nice as he could be given the circumstances. I got the impression he never...he wasn’t cruel about it. If you know what I mean.”

“I guess,” Steve hazards, “Eddie?”

Next to him, Eddie’s kind of staring into space, frowning, “Owens. Yes. Remember that word, maybe?”

“Okay. Okay, so what are they doing now Robs?”

“Well, Hoppers keeping an eye out and he’s going to try the Motel right now, but if he’s not there he’s going to start doing drive bys of Starcourt and stuff, and hopefully he turns up,” Steve can hear in her voice that she's shrugging, “but Hopper says since no one else is asking any questions, he’s hopeful that it’s just this guy working alone, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah okay.”

Eddie listens to his new record while Steve makes dinner. He has his guitar over his lap, and occasionally plays a note or two. He understood the mechanics of it already, but Steve figures he must have seen someone with a guitar on TV at some point.

Steve’s absorbed in what he’s doing, and doesn’t notice at first that the twanging noises have stopped. The record ends, but it feels like it’s been a long time of quiet, and Steve looks over to find Eddie, expecting him to be flipping it.

He isn’t.

Steve turns off the stove, covering the two pots he’s been carefully nursing. Eddie isn’t in the cabin; Steve finds him on the dock. He’s just...standing there, in the near dark. Just...staring out across the lake.

“Eddie? You okay?”

Eddie looks around again, “heard something. Had to check it’s safe.”

“You could have said,” Steve comes up close, wrapping a hand around Eddie’s hip. Eddie turns in reflexively, looking for a quick, soft kiss, which Steve is happy to give.

“Think the trees look like The Upside Down.”

“Do you?” Steve looks around; all the trees have leaves on, they’re dense and alive and nothing like the dead twisted things that litter The Upside Down, “I don’t think they do.”

Wind moves through the trees, the susurration of leaves is kind of loud, “sounds like bats. Many many bats,” Eddie shifts closer, pressing himself against Steve.

“You okay?”

“I don’t...I think I don’t like it here.”

“Oh...well,” Steve makes a decision, “since they’re pretty sure it’s just the Owens guy, how about we go home tomorrow? I mean, you might not be able to go to work and stuff until they find him-”

“Yes. Home tomorrow.”

Steve looks around again, tries to see it through Eddie’s eyes. Tries to see what reminds him so much of The Upside Down. Maybe the panic attack in the shower knocked some stuff loose; Steve doesn’t know. Eddie’s been making do with strip washing from the bathroom sink the last couple of nights, and that’s been fine but not ideal. Eddie’s hair needs a wash.

“Okay, we’ll call when we go through town, okay, let them know?”

“Yes...take my book back.”

“You finished it?”

“Almost.”

“Lets go inside, I can finish dinner and you can tell me what it’s about?”

“So they’re...stealing treasure from a dragon?” Eddie nods, his mouth full of dinner. “Okay, fair enough.”

Eddie swallows, “I want to read The Lord of The Rings.”

“Okay, I’m sure we can get it at the library.”

“You promise dragons aren’t real?”

“Yup. Definitely not real, and there’s no hobbits or wizards or- or elves or any of that stuff. And magic isn’t real- well. That kind of magic isn’t real, at least,” Eddie frowns like the book committed a crime.

“But...dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were definitely real, you have those in your book?”

“Yes...dragons can fly though. And breathe fire.”

“Well...some dinosaurs could fly, and they were big like a dragon, some of them.”

“Really?” Eddie’s eyes go wide, “I thought from my book like...cow sized?”

“Hu uh,” Eddie excitement is actually palpable, “definitely a dinosaur book next, some of them were like...as tall as trees,” Steve doesn’t actually know, he was most definitely not a dinosaur kid, but he’s pretty sure at least some of them were tall like that.

“All the time, used to do this. When I had a tail,” Eddie’s voice is muffled where he’s bent over the kitchen sink.

“Yeah...I guess I did,” and it’s true, Steve was washing Eddie’s hair pretty much every other day when Eddie still had a tail. He feels the back of Eddie’s head almost reflexively at the memory, following the ghostly, barely there ridges with his fingers through the suds, “it’s getting so long again already.”

“Good. El said Max makes nice braids when it’s long enough.”

Steve snorts a laugh, “oh yeah? That’s going to look great, now eyes and mouth closed, I’m gonna’ rinse.”

Eddie has his head resting on Steve’s tummy while Steve plays with his hair, hand buried in his curls, massaging his scalp, “what you doing baby?”

“Hear.”

“Hear? Oh what, you’re listening?”

“Listening to Stevie’s inside.”

“Anything interesting?”

Eddie nods, his cheek dragging against Steve’s skin, “funny tummy noises. And bumping.”

“Bumping? Oh, beating, my heart right?”

“Yeah. Stevie, we can definitely go home tomorrow?”

“Sure thing babe, we can get packed up in the morning,” Steve yawns, “you want to go to sleep?”

“Maybe. There’s bad dreams here.”

Steve blinks his eyes open to look down, a weird shiver raising goosebumps on his arms, all the way down to where his hand is still buried in Eddie’s hair. Eddie didn’t have to put that quite so creepily. “I think it’s just...maybe it reminds you of things here, so your mind is kind playing tricks on you a little? There’s nothing bad here baby, I promise. What do you think?”

“The water reminds me of Barb.”

Steve frowns, “Barb? How do you know about Barb?” Under Steve’s hand, something crawls unpleasantly beneath Eddie’s skin.

Eddie shrugs, “Nancy told me you killed her.”

“Stevie!” Steve fights, briefly, confused. “Stevie love, it’s okay. Bad dream.”

Steve’s kind of sweaty and panting, but he quickly realizes that it’s Eddie whose holding him, so he quits moving, “Jesus Christ,” he breathes out slowly, trying to calm himself down, “I’m fine. Thanks. I’ll be okay in a minute.”

“You want to tell me? Here, water.” Steve takes the glass, sipping it carefully. He can feel the cool water go down, grounding him.

Steve has no desire whatsoever to talk about it, so he deflects, “what time is it?”

“Five?” Eddie leans over, checking his watch before putting it back, “half five.”

“I miss you saying five and a half, it was cute.”

“I can say five and a half,” Eddie takes the glass again before snuggling in.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. Already awake...bad dreams.”

“Fucking hell. We need to go home just so we can get a good nights sleep. What did you dream about?”

“You. Lost you, in the trees...we were here but...Upside Down trees? I tried and tried to find you. Could hear you, ‘help help,’ really scared.”

“Maybe it is this place,” Steve settles down again, pulling Eddie close, “weird that we’re both having bad dreams right?”

“I don’t like it.”

“No but...lets just rest a little, and then breakfast and we can get packed up, okay?”

“Okay, Stevie love.”

Eddie waits outside the phone booth, leaning against the car where it sits parked by the curb. Steve calls Family Video today, knowing that Robs should be at work, “hey Bird-”

“He got him! Hopper! He got the Owens guy!”

Steve feels himself relax, one less thing to worry about, “good. Good, we’re coming home.”

“Okay, Hopper does think it was just this guy. He was staying at the Motel, Hop had to wait around a bit, like proper stake out!! But he did get him. Said he couldn’t find any evidence of him like, working with other people, and El’s going to talk to him or something. Make sure. I’m not sure about that bit but-”

“Okay, okay, so where is he?”

“Hopper’s got him at the Motel. Probably like, tied up, do you think? Steve what if he’s like, working for the government though. Or or the Russians-”

Steve rubs his forehead, “Birdie, I know you do love some empty speculation-”

“I do!”

“But how about we wait until we actually like, know?”

“Spoil sport.”

They say goodbye and end the call, Steve offering the keys to Eddie, “want to do a little of the driving?”

Eddie grins big, clearly surprised and pleased by the offer, “yes I do!”

“Okay, careful though, you don’t know the roads like at home. And no getting distracted by the cows.”

Eddie ‘moos’ really loudly in response, once in the drivers seat, he pauses for a second, “should have bought tapes,” he laments.

“Well, unlucky, I’m thinking some Carpenters.”

“Nooooo,” Eddie laughs.

“Shut up, I know you love it. Now sing to me about how the best love songs are written with a broken arm.”

“I think that’s what she said! Broken heart makes no sense,” Eddie grumbles, Steve still laughing.

Eddie had caved after two hours of driving, but still, considering all Eddie had done before today is short journeys around Hawkins, Steve figures he did really well in an unfamiliar place, and he told Eddie so. Eddie has turned into a surprisingly careful driver, Steve doesn’t know if it’s his consideration for Steve’s beloved car, or if it’s Steve’s constant reminders that Eddie cannot afford to draw any attention to himself. Either way, Steve feels safe in the passenger seat.

“Okay, I think I should take you home to unpack, then I can figure out how to call Hop and see if I can go over.”

Steve’s not even surprised by Eddie’s response, “both go, you mean.”

“Eddie...I’m not sure it’s-”

“Stevie,” Eddie manages to make it a complete sentence.

“Look...I’m not going to take your choice away, okay, if you want to come, then that’s fine. But...you get I just want you to be safe, right? And I feel like the less this guy knows, the better?”

“I know...I know,” Eddie has his thinking face on, when he’s wrestling with how to say something. It’s been happening a lot less lately, but this concept must be more complicated. “The people had me in a tank. They...hurt me. I was scared. Now...Owens is in the tank? He has to...he has to say why. To me. And sorry.”

“I...is that what you want? For him to apologize? To...explain?”

“Apologize and explain. Yes. And...I will not hurt him. I’m Eddie. I’m not people.”

Steve shouldn’t be surprised, not really. He feels like he knows Eddie inside and out, but his natural compassion, his...kind of innate goodness still blind sides Steve sometimes. Steve had vaguely considered that a realistic outcome of this may be that he’s helping Hopper hide a body. Maybe. It was kind of an abstract thought he hadn’t wanted to poke too hard but, realistically, they’re talking about a man who experimented on children, on Eddie.

Steve is clearly no where near as forgiving.

Hopper meets them both outside the room. Steve has no idea what to expect, really. The rasp of Hopper stubble is loud when he scrubs at his face, “El thinks this Owens guy is legit. He already knows Eddie has,” Hopper gestures vaguely, “human parts.”

“How?”

“After Starcourt happened, he went back to poke about, and he saw you both. More importantly Eddie, driving a car,” Hopper’s words are full of accusation, like ‘see I knew him driving would be trouble.’

Eddie waves a hand dismissively, “I can go in?”

Hopper sighs, but Steve isn’t going to fight Eddie on this. He knows what he wants, and he’s so fucking smart. Steve’s sure Eddie doesn’t fully appreciate the risks, not since he doesn’t get fully grasp how stuff like actual governments work but...yeah. It’s Eddie’s life, but Steve still takes his hand. If they’re doing it, they’re doing it together.

Hopper just sighs and rolls his eyes.

Steve figured that, somehow, this guy would just...look evil. He doesn’t. He looks like a harmless old dude, sitting on the edge of a sagging motel mattress, looking over some papers. He cannot disguise his interest when Eddie walks in.

He’s not restrained or anything, he’s just...there. There are books and pens and folders and shit spread out on the opposite bed, like he’s been working.

“Owens?” Eddie checks.

“Yes. Yes hello it is...so wonderful to see you again. And to hear you speak! How good is your understanding-”

“I think we have questions, first,” Steve cuts him off sharply. He doesn’t seem threatening, just...genuinely pleased to see Eddie. The guy has to be up to something, Steve can’t shake the suspicious thought that the guy must be one hell of an actor.

“Yes. Of course. I have everything, all of my notes, from Starcourt, so any questions you have I will do my best to answer.”

“Okay, where the fuck do you get off experimenting on people?” Steve’s pretty sure his voice is reasonably calm. He’s vaguely aware of Hopper coming in behind them, pulling up a folding chair he must have gotten from his truck.

Owens closes his eyes briefly, before addressing Eddie,“yes. Of course. I am so so sorry for what you were put through but..the work we were doing. I was not fully aware of just how intelligent you were. Are. I didn’t at first fully comprehend that we were even dealing with a sentient specimen-”

“He’s not a specimen, he’s a person,” Steve snaps.

“I am very smart,” Eddie adds helpfully.

“Yes. Yes you are. And the transformation you have undergone is nothing short of miraculous, if I could take some bloods-”

“Absolutely the fuck not. What were you doing with the Russians?”

“Oh,” Owens seems genuinely confused by the question, like it hadn’t really occurred to him, “when the original labs were closed, the funding ended. Of course we were aware of the mirror dimension-”

Eddie looks at Steve, “he means The Upside Down.”

“-Oh, is that what you call it? Well, it was deemed for too dangerous, and not worth the expense, to continue, not after such a catastrophic failure. The Russians however didn’t seem to have any such issues and were interested in opening a gate; I had to go where I could to continue my work, you understand. And then they brought you back with them. What should I call you?”

“Eddie. I’m Eddie.”

“And you’re working? And you’ve learned to speak and drive a car...your ability to process new information is staggering. The physical changes, did they just happen? What was the-”

“Stop, just stop. What do you want with him? Why have you been asking around?”

“Stevie,” Eddie says quietly, pulling Steve back a little by his shirt. And yeah, okay, Steve may have taken a step forward.

“I just...want to continue my studies. Eddie’s change...the differences in his make up, his body’s ability to rewrite itself – it could lead to...well, significant discoveries. The data I could gather, imagine the effect on modern medicine, what we might achieve – the potential to help people could be immeasurable.”

“We could...help people?” Eddie echoes.

“Yes, well. We could try. Like I said I would have to do some tests to understand-”

“No,” Steve crosses his arms over his chest.

Next to him, Eddie asks quietly, “what tests?”

“Just...take some blood, for now. Just try to understand how this happened and...what the changes mean on a genetic level.”

“Look, Eddie, you do not have to do a single thing for this guy, okay? This could be dangerous, they could come and take you away again-”

“I would most certainly like to avoid just that,” Owens interjects.

“Oh yeah, right. Sell me on that then,” Steve snaps at him.

“Look,” Owens spreads his hands, he hasn’t moved from his seat on the bed, “I’m the only one who knows about this. The little contact I’ve had with my previous...employers implies that they’re done with the site, they’ve scrubbed the remains of Starcourt, it’s already being filled in. I only know you even exist because I just happened to see you. No one knows Eddie is alive right now, that he didn’t die in his tank, except for me. If I tell anyone they will take him, potentially back to Russia, and I’ll loose access to him. If I inform the American team, I’ll have to admit that I was working for the Russians, which would cause some obvious fall out for me. This way I can just…continue with my work.”

Steve rubs his eyes. It sounds...legit. He guesses. Logical. “Hopper?”

“El says he’s on the level.”

“Jesus fuck,” Steve huffs, walking in a circle.

“Stevie? I want to help people.”

“I know you do baby.”

“Oh, are you two in a relationship-”

Steve finds himself leaning over to point in Owens face, “do not.”

“Okay, okay,” Owens spreads his hands, “look, I think you need to see this from the other side too. What if Eddie gets sick? What are you going to do, take him to the doctor? And what about El, and her powers? What if something comes up with her? I’m more than happy to-”

“I’m sure you are,” Steve stops him, “and you agree with that Hop?”

“I mean, he’s got a point. Don’t think we could take Eddie to a regular doctor, and El was fine with letting him look her over. I mean I maybe don’t agree with the shit he’s been involved in but...I don’t currently have a lot of choice with getting my kids brain powers looked at.”

“I don’t like it.”

Hopper shrugs, “nope.”

“This is such a bad plan.”

“Not as bad as-”

“Don’t you dare-” Steve starts.

“Letting some fish guy-”

“Hopper!” Eddie adds, affronted.

“Bite your toes off.”

[yelenasdiary]

Hello…I didn’t expect to make this request, but I didn’t know who else to turn to, and you’re the most active writer I’ve followed for so long that is still around. (And I’m happy for that, sincerely)

Well, before I request something, let me explain why. I…I’m saying goodbye. (Not that way, don’t worry) I’m saying goodbye…to the fandom…specifically, to reading Natasha x reader fics. I tried for a while to hope for fics where Reader was more of the knight in shining armor, masc presenting woman, or the top in the relationship, but…well, that didn’t happen much. And I’m not bashing on anyone for writing reader as more of the opposite. Not at all, everyone is entitled to write how they want to write….but I can’t just keep coming here and continue to see it be the same troupe. And no matter how much I request for one (and when requests are asked and open) it never happens, and instead it’s something else I didn’t request. So…I think it’s best for me to bid farewell. I cant force writers to write what I want, that’s not how it works. It’s a dick move

Here’s what I want to ask…for my final Natasha x reader fic request:

Reader is a soldier for the United States Air Force. Natasha has been busy as an Avenger. Reader, on leave, tried to spend time with Natasha but was always met with rain checks. On top of that, Natasha has always treated reader as the frail, need to protect, girlfriend, and reader always made it clear she wasn’t much for the pillow process type.

Anyways, reader decides to re-enlist for another deployment and begin a new life, maybe somewhere in Germany I don’t know. But, as she’s packing to leave is when Natasha FINALLY decides to give her the time of day….but it’s too late.

Reader sits Natasha down and says along the lines this, “I’m not the person you want…and we’ve just become different people and are pursuing different things….” She’d go on about how as much as she loves Natasha, she can’t be the partner she expects of her. She’s tired of being made out to be this woman that’s made to be the trophy wife or something like that. That she should find someone who can connect and click with her. Be her true soulmate.

Natasha is heartbroken and wants to fix things. Not expecting this at all. Pleading for a second chance but reader stands her ground. No tears shed, but she’s not cold to her either. Reader leaves, Natasha follows her all the way to the airport, tries one last time but reader doesn’t give in….she bids the redhead farewell…and thanks her for the memories that were amazing. She wishes nothing but happiness for her and a happy life.

…that’s it. Write it, toss it away, it’s fine. I’m just going to leave this here, do with it what you want.

Thanks for the fics you made, specifically the ones where you portrayed reader as the knight in shining armor.

Signing off.

A Final Goodbye

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Masc! Reader

Summary: You take a step back and do what is best for you, and Natasha. 

Angst, Comfort

Warnings: None, if I missed any, please let me know | 1.1K

AC: Thank you for sending this in, I am sorry to hear that you’re leave and I do hope that you’re still around to read this. I do apologise for it taking me a while to get it out, I also just want to say that I do not consider myself a masc lesbian so I do apologise in advance if anything in this is not giving that representation. Rest assured, this is Reader being the lead in this. I hope you enjoy x

You took a deep breath as you zipped up the last duffel bag, feeling the weight of your decision settle across your shoulders. Your small apartment almost empty, leaving most of your belongings in storage. Carefully, you placed the duffle bag with the others before taking a moment to gather your thoughts. 

It had been playing on your mind for a while now, keeping you up at night while you tossed and turned endlessly, wishing things were different but too much had changed over time. You tried to spend time with her, but you only met with rain checks or last-minute cancellations. You missed her but you couldn’t stop thinking about the drift between you two. 

Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, the woman you fell for. At first, things were great, you both were on the same page and were very much in the ‘honeymoon’ phase almost every day but like all couples, there were things that you would argue about and there were plenty of things that made you both frustrated. One thing you couldn’t understand was why Nat would consistently treat you like a frail and need to be protected girlfriend. As much as you loved that she cared for you, you hated being treated like a pillow princess. It wasn’t you. 

You didn’t need saving; you didn’t need protecting. You needed somebody who understood you and loved you for you. You always made it clear to Natasha that the pillow princess type wasn’t you at all, you always reminded her that you didn’t need her to protect you from every little thing, after all, you were a soldier. But something about being firm with her just didn’t stick. So, you made the decision to re-enlist for another deployment, making sure that the next time you returned, things would be different. Not just for you but for Natasha as well. 

Natasha knocked softly on the door; it was time. You took a deep breath and reached for the door handle, meeting her soft green eyes for the first time in weeks. Her famous red locks still damp from the rain outside, her expression a mix of relief and uncertainty. 

“Hey,” she said softly, her eyes locking with yours. 

You couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled on your lips, “Hey, I’m glad you could come” you replied, opening the door wider for her. 

 “I’m so glad you’re still here. I… I thought you might be gone already.” She said softly, her eyes darting to the small pile of duffle bags. 

“I leave tomorrow” you replied, watching as Nat turned around to face you once more. “Can we talk, please?” She asked, her gaze locked onto you. “I want to give you time to talk but I really need you to listen to me first” you said as you gestured that the two of you take a seat. Natasha let out a soft sigh, deep down she knew she wasn’t leaving your apartment the same woman she came as. 

The two of you took a seat at the dining table, the cold surface somehow bringing a little comfort to you in this moment as you gently reached for Natasha’s hand. You looked into her eyes for a moment, taking in the beauty she held. 

“I love you so much, I always will but I need to honest with you, with us. This isn’t so much about the fact our schedules suck and the rain check are rain check. This is about us and how I’m not the person you want” you paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in before continuing. “We’ve become different people. We’re pursuing different things and different dreams. I can’t be the partner you expect of me. I’m tired of you only seeing me as this fragile person who needs to protect. I’m a soldier, I’m in the air force. I can hold my own and I want to be respected for that” you added. 

“Detka, I do respect you. You’re everything to me, I don’t mean to make you feel like that….I just, I care about you so, so much but I can’t deal with the thought if something were to happen to you” Natasha pleaded, tears pooling in her eyes.

You smiled softly, trying to keep your own tears from building up, “I know you respect me Nat, but, when you’re around others, you’re not the same. We go from being one to two different people and somehow, you think I’m the one who needs to protected and treated differently….” You paused for a moment, your thumb stroking her soft skin. “We both know that love is such a big, beautiful and powerful thing. It means a lot of things and one of those things is knowing when to let go. You deserve somebody who can give you everything you want, but we know deep down it’s not me” you added. 

A silence fell between you both, Natasha’s face falling, her defenses crumbling as you continued. “I want you to find happiness, even if that means without me. You deserve it.”

“But… what if we can work it out? I can be better, I promise” Natasha said, pleading, her voice breaking as her tears began to fall freely down her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry Nat, but it’s too late. I need a fresh start, and I think you need one too”

Natasha’s expression shifted from desperation to heartbreak as she nodded at your words. Wiping her tears on the sleeve of her shirt, she stood up. “I don’t want to hold you back” she said softly, barely able to look into your eyes. You stood up from your seat, swallowing the lump in your throat as she reached out to hug you one last time. 

“Please be safe” she whispered, “and write to me whenever you’re ready” she added, hugging you tightly. You hugged her back, allowing yourself to feel the love she has for you one last time, hugging her just as tightly back. “I promise” you replied in the same soft whisper. 

As you two parted, you smiled softly at her, hoping it would somehow ease her broken heart a little. “I know this wasn’t what you expected but I want you to know that all the memories we share and the time we had, it was beautiful, and I will forever cherish them. I want nothing but love and happiness for you, don’t hold yourself back from find another love. Be happy Nat, you deserve that” you said.

To your surprise the redhead returned a soft smile, “I will always love you” she spoke ever so gently. 

“And I will always love you” you replied. 

Natasha turned, and headed for the door. You watched her leave, closing the door gently behind her, taking with her a piece of your heart. You took a moment for yourself, part of you broken from the words shared but the other half excited knowing a new chapter awaited. The memories of Natasha would always be with you, reminding you that love can be found again.

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[fairy-writes]

SIREN SONG

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Kaiju No. 8

Pairing(s): Hoshina Soshiro x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Female!Reader, Siren!Reader, Kind of a Pirate AU? I reference the Trojan War if that helps define this

Notes: EPIC: THE MUSICAL HAS ME BY THE THROAT THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING

(Also, this is based on the Greek mythological sirens, not mermaids)

I decided to cut this off where I did and hope to do a part two in the future. Lmk if you guys want to see a second part!

JUST IN TIME FOR HOSHINA’S B-DAY, LET’S GOOOO

__________________________________________________________________________

He found you in the water. 

At first, Soshiro thought you were a clump of seaweed. But then he noticed that it was a person floating in the water, not plants. And that there were feathers sprouting from your back before realizing just what was going on. 

You were a siren. 

So he did the only logical thing in his mind. 

And brought you aboard. 

It took three days for you to wake up. 

You were kept down in the brig behind iron bars. Your hands were bound with cast iron shackles, though Soshiro had a sneaking suspicion that you were too weak to do anything. He could see your ribs through the baggy and loose dress you wore about your person. Your hands, though scaly and bird-like, were thin and bony. 

Captain Ashiro stationed Soshiro to watch you, seeing as he found you in the first place and brought you aboard without consulting her. But Soshiro didn’t mind. It just gave him a chance to catch up on reading. 

At least… Until you opened your eyes. 

Soshiro is roused from his reading stupor by an ungodly screech and clang. He jolts, looking up from his book to see you clinging to the bars, your pretty face twisted in a surprisingly ugly snarl. Your scaly hands tug ferociously at the hardened iron, your chains rattling against the bars. 

He just smiles, 

“So you’re awake then? That’s good. How are you feeling?” He says conversationally, and your snarl twists. You open your mouth and let out a screech that rattled his eardrums and made him flinch involuntarily. 

Damn, you had some pipes. 

But that doesn’t deter him from attempting to talk to you again. 

“Can you understand me? Do you speak our language?” That just earned him another screech. In fact, any attempt at speaking to you had you caterwauling in such a way he was sure those on deck could hear him. 

It was then that Captain Ashiro came downstairs, hands over her ears.

“What is that infernal—Oh…” She trailed off when she spotted you, and you let out another godforsaken wail. Your clawed hands rattle the bars of your cage, but it does little good. You haven’t eaten in three days, had no water in just as long, and were weak to begin with. 

Soshiro didn’t get to give you more than a once-over, but he knew that you were injured. Burns disintegrated the feathers along your back. You had deep gouges that were half-healed and sick with infection. Scars crisscrossed your throat. 

Almost as if someone had tried to rip it out.

 It took an additional three days before things changed. 

In that time, Soshiro spent most of it down in the brig, talking to you. You still wouldn’t let him touch you without restraints, so he enlisted two crew members, Hibino Kafka, and Kaguragi Aoi, to help hold you in place. 

Because he very well couldn’t help you by himself with you trying to bite his fingers off. 

It took some convincing to get Kafka and Aoi to step inside the brig to help you. But it helped that Captain Ashiro was just as interested in you as he was. So an order it became, and they nervously stepped behind the iron bars. Soshiro almost felt bad to see you crouched in the corner, teeth bared, and wings spread as far as the injuries would let them. 

However, it was almost stupidly easy to get ahold of you. You couldn’t fly—there wasn’t enough room, and there were also your injuries to account for—and you couldn’t muscle your way past the two biggest members of the crew. So you were quickly detained, and he set to work attempting to help you. 

Keyword being attempted. 

Because you kept snapping at anyone who came close. And while you didn’t have a beak like a bird, you did have wickedly sharp teeth that would likely cause all sorts of infections if they broke the skin. 

Eventually, after about an hour of trying to get close, he thought of something. 

“Captain? Could you do me a favor and retrieve some food from the cook?” He asked as he crouched before you. The two men holding your taloned hands and pinned your wings shifted uncomfortably. “Uhh… Quartermaster Hoshina? Why are we feeding the… siren?” Hibino Kafka asked, clearly unsure about this plan. He whispered the last word, “siren,” as if he wasn’t sure he was even allowed to speak the word aloud. 

Soshiro shrugged, 

“We don’t want a dead siren on the boat. It’s best to keep her alive until we find out what to do with her.” He said. Aoi didn’t say anything, but Soshiro could tell he was uncomfortable. Kafka swallowed hard as he looked back to where you were snarling up at him from your place, pinned on the floor. 

For someone so large, he sure was a scaredy cat. 

It was then that Captain Ashiro returned with a bowl of what looked like porridge. Were they really that low on food? Well… They had just spent the last ten years fighting in the Trojan War… It made sense that they were at least a little low on food. 

“The cook wasn’t able to make much. But I hope this will work.” Captain Ashiro said, and Soshiro just hummed as he took the bowl and entered the prison cell. 

“Let her up. Just don’t let her do anything.” He ordered, and the two men holding your arms did so slowly. They kept your arms twisted behind you, your wings pinned to your back with their free hands. 

You thrashed and flailed as best you could, snapping at anything that came close with those wickedly sharp teeth of yours. But Soshiro could see you panting and heaving, and your skin had a sickly sweat on it. An idiot could tell you weren’t feeling too hot. 

So, Soshiro crouched down to your eye level and held out the spoon with a heaping spoonful of the porridge. He could see the wheels turning in your head. 

Should you take the food? 

Should you try and attack?

He could hear your stomach rumbling and offered a friendly smile. 

“It’s all yours.” He says, and you freeze, which doesn’t go unnoticed. 

So you could understand him. 

However, he didn’t make a big deal of it and instead hovered the spoon closer to your mouth. He could practically see you salivating and pushed the spoon until it was almost touching your lips. 

That was the final straw, and you opened your mouth, not even blowing on the food before devouring the spoonful. You must’ve been starving. Soshiro quickly offered another spoonful, and it was the same as before. You all but inhaled the food, and before he knew it, the bowl was empty. 

You sighed almost dreamily at what must’ve been a full belly and sagged forward against Kafka and Aoi’s grip. Captain Ashiro handed Soshiro a waterskin, and he poured some—not too much, though—into your waiting mouth. You swallowed the water greedily and gasped for air as soon as the waterskin was empty. 

“I brought some herbs to treat her wounds.” Captain Ashiro said, and immediately, you stiffened. 

Why? 

Soshiro took the herbs and poultices from his captain and scooted closer. 

“I’m going to clean your injuries. Is that okay?” He asked, and it was just like before. You opened your maw and let out an ear-splitting screech. Spittle splattered his face, but he wasn’t phased. It wasn’t like you could do anything. 

Instead, he sighed and stood up. 

“Let’s deal with her wounds later. We don’t want to stress her out too much.” He said brightly, and Kafka and Aoi were more than happy to let you go and scramble from the cell. Soshiro couldn’t get closer after that. So, he left you alone. 

The clang of the cell door was deafening. 

The next day, Soshiro went down to the cell and found you collapsed on the floor, still as a corpse. He wasn’t even sure if you were breathing. 

Were you dead?

Soshiro couldn’t get the cell door open fast enough, key fumbling in his hand as he tried to fit it into the damn lock. 

Only to realize that was his mistake. 

The second the cell door was open, you were on him, snarling and snapping as you tried to claw his eyes out. His hands were on your forearms, leaning his head to the side to avoid your snapping jaws. 

The two of you wrestled—you were surprisingly strong for being starving—and thrashed and fought until he managed to come out on top. Your wings were bunched awkwardly beneath you, your face twisted in anger and pain and agony as he heard the delicate bones in your wings crunch and break. 

That caused him to get off, albeit a bit slowly. Shallow scratches littered his arms, but he was much more concerned about the state of your wings. 

“Now, now,” He soothed, holding his hands up, but you were all but gone by then. Scrambling up the stairs and onto the ship’s deck. Crew members scattered and shrieked as you stretched your broken wings and lashed out with your splintered taloned fingers. 

“Don’t hurt her!” Soshiro bellowed as he reached the top of the stairs, taking in your appearance. The scabs of your infected burns and gashes had cracked along your back. Blood and pus oozed down your back and sides, soaking your linen dress. 

Crew members had drawn their swords and surrounded you. Captain Ashiro cried out for them to drop their weapons, and slowly, hesitantly, they did so. You were trying in vain to fly away, but your wings could no longer carry your weight. 

He had hurt you. Possibly permanently. 

Would you ever fly again?

And that thought that he had maimed such a beautiful creature cracked his chest wide open, baring his heart for the world to see. 

You were eventually wrestled back into the brig in the belly of the ship. The ship’s doctor had managed to splint your wings and clean your wounds while Kafka and Aoi held you down again. 

All the while, Soshiro stayed in his quarters, pacing back and forth, feeling annoyed with himself. He should’ve known your wings would break so easily! He should’ve known that you would try and escape. Anyone with a brain would’ve tried to escape that awful prison cell. 

A rap on his door roused him from his trance, and he paused in his pacing. 

“Come in.” He called, and Captain Ashiro entered the room. She looked exhausted. 

“She’s asleep right now. The medic gave her a dose of sleeping herbs to help her rest. He isn’t sure she’ll ever fly again, though.” She said solemnly, and he pinched the bridge of his nose but didn’t say anything. 

Captain Ashiro sighed, 

“Why did you bring her aboard?” She eventually asked, exasperated. Soshiro shrugged, 

“We are set to sail through the land of sirens. I thought she could be used to barter safe passage.” He said quietly, and Captain Ashiro’s eyebrows shot up. 

“That’s… Actually, a good idea.” She said though wariness colored her voice. Soshiro shrugged,

“I have good ideas sometimes. However, it’ll involve gaining the siren’s trust.” He said, and she deflated before an idea struck her. 

“I’ll let that job fall to you.” She said, and he opened his mouth to protest before she held up a hand, “You brought her aboard. She’s your problem now.” She said before leaving before he could say anything else. 

Soshiro went down to the brig where you were kept. 

You watched him with untrusting eyes, and he sat across from your cell. 

Gaining your trust…

How hard could it be?

[julietcpulet]

The Champion or Vax’ildan?

So I’ve seen people comment on the idea that Vox Machina won’t move on from the truth that Vax is now the Champion and so what they’re clinging to is the memory of him but it’s not actually him. When they see him he’s not himself, merely a collection of memories and that’s why he doesn’t interact with them the same but they ignore it. Some have cited Percy’s comment about he and Vex’s children “finally finding out how much (Percy) is embellishing the memory of you” meaning that Vax may not be all Percy and Vex have described him to be to their children. Some say this is evidence that they’re holding on to who Vax was not who he is.

My problem with this idea though is what Vax himself says. When Liam has him say to Keyleth “I long for our life” that can’t be the Champion. If Vax is merely a shell, only filled with memories he wouldn’t care about having a life with Keyleth or his family any longer, he would just be looking at his life of faithful service to the Matron without longing or desire for anything else. But we do see from Liam’s perspective as Vax that he does want that love still, that future and that says Vax is still very much there. To me it says he’s just altered from being with the Matron so long, from having this perspective of being her Champion, of standing in the doorway of death and staring down this long of a lifetime. I think it has changed his view of fate forever but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still himself just a more mature version maybe, if that makes sense.

It’s less that Vax is a shell filled only with memories and following the mandate of the Champion. It’s more that he’s a person who’s gone through a lot to follow his commitment to the Matron while holding onto what remains of his love for those beyond that service. And their bond to him I think helps tether him to the living world when he’s in it, which is why he seems distant and like in a fog. If he came back permanently there would be a reckoning on him learning to live amongst everyone again now so much has changed. For me though Vax isn’t only himself in memory, he’s simply closed off and hidden the parts of himself that can no longer want things beyond his service to the Matron until those possibilities are real again.

[typicalopposite]

WIP Wednesday

thank you thank you @bidisasterevankinard for the tag! 🫶🫶🫶

take me back - Tommy amnesia fic - from ch 3

Evan: Hey! Hope you have a great first day back! Be safe! 🙂

Tommy’s heart skips a beat… he said– he said their thing… Be safe / Of course. Like Bobby and Athena’s Home Safe, or Howie and Maddie’s Miss you already / Miss you most or Han and Leias I love you / I know. It floods his brain with memories of what feels like just last week; him telling Evan the same thing when he called to let Tommy know they were going on a pretty serious call. It stabs him in the chest, and tears sting at his eyes that he quickly blinks away because, no… Evan is allowing him a friendship when he doesn’t deserve one. He will not screw it up this early in because he has a giant sack of unresolved emotional baggage that he filled himself. He replies: I will be he hits send, reels at the sting of making it different, then he sends and thank you :) to balance it out.

The messages are instantly read, and Tommy waits for a moment to see if he’ll say anything else. He doesn’t, so Tommy grabs his keys and heads out the door to his truck. The engine roars to life and he turns his music up loud enough to make his ears hurt— from the volume and the fact every song reminds him of Evan— as he drives the miles to Harbor Station. 

He is actually pretty surprised at the effort his team put into their welcome back, complete with a banner and cake. (If Tommy is being honest he is just about cake’d out from his birthday… but he appreciates the gesture… Especially if— unless they changed a lot in the span of last year to now— this isn’t usual for the 217. This is more of the 118’s style of celebration. He’ll take it.) “Thanks everybody,” he says humbly. 

“Good to have you back,” his captain says, shakes his hand then excuses himself to his office. 

He is approached one by one by his other coworkers ending with Lucy. She grins widely at him, and throws her arms around his neck; a gesture he was used to from her… but things are supposedly different between them now, so it’s an unexpected surprise.  

“How’re you feeling?” she asks. Her– usually sharp, ready to give as much sass and shit as she receives among a crew of mostly men– eyes are soft and sincere. 

“Better… I– I guess,” Tommy replies. “Doc said as long as I don’t crack it open again, staples can come out next week.”

“You still don’t know how that happened?” 

Tommy pulls his lips down into a frown and shakes his head. “That garage is a mess… Evan is always– or… was always–” he stops and sighs, running a hand over the back of his neck, wondering if one day talking about Evan will stop hurting. He doubts it’ll be anytime soon. “He always said I needed to organize my stuff better– guess I should have listened.” 

She gives him a sympathetic smile, hooking an arm around his arm and leading him through the hangar. “Well at least you have plenty of paperwork to keep your mind off of… everything, until you’re cleared to get back in the sky!” 

“Oh, great…” He groans at the piles of unorganized files left for him to keep busy while he is on temporary light duty, and drops into his chair to get started. 

Or rather try to get started… except everything reminds him of Evan– of the accident– of what he lost— of how miserable he is. 

Calls where their stations worked together. Calls with people named Evan, or Tommy, or even worse Dylan. Calls involving head injuries, and memory loss, and extreme depression, and anxiety– a call involving a person giving a statement so filled with regret and despair Tommy has to stop what he’s doing and walk outside for some air. 

“You okay?” Lucy asks, sticking her head out of the helicopter she is running a safety check on. 

“Fine…” Tommy lies, still unable to suck in a deep enough breath that it will stop feeling like he’s being suffocated. 

Lucy sighs and turns the helicopter off. She hops down and walks over to him, face determined. “Seriously, Kinard… I’m not saying you have to be an open book; hell you never were, even before— But don’t start shutting everyone out again. We’re a team and if you’re going through it and your mind is not clear it’s not safe– you could get hurt… again. So we’re not going back there, okay?” Tommy slowly lifts his eyes to hers and nods. 

Lucy calls out for Melvin to finish the inspection and she tips her head towards the side of the hangar. They walk down alongside the metal wall towards the water’s edge. She picks up a rock and flicks it out onto the water; it skips three times before dipping under the surface. She glances over at Tommy, giving him the floor to start the conversation. Tommy doesn’t speak and instead repeats her action– picks up a rock and skips it across the lake. Seven skips before it disappears and Lucy scoffs, calling him a show off. 

“I don’t know why I broke up with him…” is Tommy’s reply. 

Lucy stares at him for a second, like she’s trying to formulate a response. “I– I mean… I’m sure once the amnesia–”

“It’s not because of the amnesia, Luce…” Tommy interjects. “I–” He exhales, long and deep. “I don’t know why I broke up with him because I don’t want to break up with him.” She furrows her brows and he continues before she can speak. “Lucy I woke up thinking it was our anniversary. Just a few days before I dumped him, for– for the stupidest reason!”

“Wait, you know the reason?”

“Ye– Yeah. Evan told me.”

“You spoke to Evan?!”

Tommy sighs. “That’s not the point. The point is that I don’t— or— or I didn’t… I still don’t want to not be with him. I– I was ready Lucy. Ready for the next step– granted the next step was telling him I loved him… whereas his was moving me into his loft–”

“Wait…” Lucy pushes forward from where she had been leaning against a tree and starts to pace. “He asked you to move in– into the loft?”

“He did.”

“But you have a house…”

“Yes but– dammit Lucy this is still not the point! I love him! I- I would have said yes. I s- should have said yes! I don’t–” His voice breaks, he covers his face. Then Lucy’s arms are around him, tugging him down to her level, allowing him to hide his face in her shoulder instead. 

No Pressure 🏷️ (even though I know it’s late 🫣) : @30somethingautisticteacher @sunnywithachanceofbi @nine-one-wanton @herrmannhalsteadproduction @judymarch15

@onthewaytosomewhere @lavenderleahy @bangpop91 @hyperfocusthusly @weewookinard

@beanarie @leashybebes @somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9 @bucksxkinard

@sweaters-and-silly @quintessenceofdust88 @sierrarreads @saibowtie @kinardsevan

@unhingedangstaddict @portinastorm @ladyeyrewrites @rubydaiquiri

@mmso-notlikethat @a-mel0n @rdng1230 @fenrirscarsback

(I am so sorry if I missed someone! Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[ri-writes-if]

I just finished reading the new chapter and damn! It was such a rollercoaster of emotions!

And I can't even begin to describe just how much I hate Selene! Not saying it in a bad way though, just to be clear! She's just the kind of character I can't stand, even if she's delightfully written. Az suggested to my MC to be cordial with her for the time being, and the plan is sound, but damn, it'll be hard. She's that kind of character I find interesting because I think her circumstances are awful and tragic, but at the same time I can't bring myself to feel bad for her because it doesn't justify the way she currently acts (as explaining someone's behavior is not the same as justifying it). With that being said, I thank you so SO much for allowing us to tell the siblings (well, the siblings in my case since I'm on Az's route) about Selene already. I was genuinely scared it would be one of these situations where the MC just clams up and doesn't tell anyone about what's happening for who knows how many chapters, which is a trope I really tend to dislike. It was such a pleasant surprise to avoid it altogether!

Now, onto more "positive feelings", I'm so in love with Az. They are such a wonderful character on all accounts. The clothing and ring shopping was just so perfect, and damn that hug! Though I'm really insanely curious about what is the underlying issue they have in relation with the MC. I sort of "felt" it already before in the way they acted, but now thanks to the PoV change I had their actual thoughts on it, but I'm no closer to knowing what's going on, though at least I had confirmation of what I felt about it (so I guess it's still something!). It still fascinates me how Az isn't even "my type" of RO normally, and in any other story I would have probably picked one of the two royals, but I don't know, something about them immediately captured me entirely. I'm also pretty curious about what's the relationship between the siblings, because the more I think about them, the more I realize I don't know much about their dynamics. With the two royals, we at least know more of their dynamics thanks to some asks on the blog and what not, but the two siblings... I don't recall you saying much. And well, in that infirmary scene, it was a bit hard to read it considering they were both preoccupied with the MC and their injury and the Selene stuff and so on.

That aside, after re-reading from scratch (I changed computers and don't have my saves anymore), I had a theory that sprung in my mind. I think there is indeed an oracle blocking MC's visions of their own future that is NOT Selene. And that oracle would be MC's mother. She may be a powerful enough oracle to see pretty far in the future, and it's possible she saw something in her child's future that had her deciding to not only abandon them, but prevent them from seeing their future. Or rather, the future she saw. Meaning as long as MC was on a path or time frame where what she saw wouldn't appear to them, then they could see their future normally. But once they found themself on said path - probably related to the apocalyptic vision at the start of the game - it triggered the "block" as now we enter the territory of what MC's mother saw and thus knows well enough to block. Of course, I may be wildly overthinking it or just be plain wrong haha!

Oh and finally, a small bit of (I assume?) stray code:

I don't think the "cordial" is meant to be there?

Okay, that's it. Yeah, it's a VERY long ask that... isn't even an "ask" since I'm not asking anything! But I had so many feelings about this chapter! It was probably the best so far!

! Spoilers for Chapter 5

I hoped some would like Selene and some would not, so I’m pleased to see people have different feelings about her! I personally really love her because she’s a tragic character and tragic characters are my thing 😂 though I agree that her past doesn’t justify her current actions.

Yeahh. I was thinking of allowing to hide the incident with Selene, but the Oracle has their priorities straight, so it wouldn’t make sense for their character to sacrifice their own standing for Selene. They went to Vez to get their freedom back, and they’re not giving it away so easily. So I had to throw out that branch.

I’m happy you enjoyed Az’s route, especially considering they’re not your type! You’ll learn what their deal is with the Oracle in the future 😉 The next couple of chapters should have more Az + Ash combo, so I’ll have time to show their dynamic. But they’re pretty uh normal siblings? Az is a troublemaker, and Ash’s perpetually but fondly tired of their antics.

Your theory was very interesting to read. Thank you for sharing it! It’s wild and cool that people actually have theories about my story 🥺 Obviously I can’t confirm or deny it, but you’ll get the answer eventually.

Thanks for pointing that out, I’ll remove that code leftover.

I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts about the chapter. Reading these messages brings me joy every time! 💛

[prcttylittlebirds]

“it’s a relief. I would very much like to never see a courtroom again. It’s just weird that i can say i’m divorced now.” rafael feels like the only word he can use to describe how he is coping with his divorce is relief. He imagine his confessing his feelings for her to be taking negatively, but it probably would’ve been best to mention that when they weren’t in the midst of an argument. He doesn’t really know what to say at first. letting her talk and release on her frustrations before he says anything else seems like his best option right now. “ there’s nothing you can really do about chemistry…. i’m not expecting you to read my mind, I’m just expressing that it bothers me a bit, and the only reason that it bothered me at the beginning is because i have all these feelings for you and i couldn’t really say anything because i was married and you’ve very candidly expressed time and time again that you were uncomfortable with the fact that I was married still. i couldn’t exactly say anything that would just change that or make the situation less weird. if i said anything before would that have changed your mind?” he sits down on the sleeping bag. if he was going to get scolded he rather be sitting down while it happens. “vee— if i still was  in love with liv— and let me be clear i’m not— i would be more upset about her having a baby right now with someone else than worrying about who you’re talking to on facetime. i begged stefan to give me his spot, just so i can talk to you… everything with olivia was done before i had these intense feelings for you.” he opens up a little bit more hoping that this will get her to see that he really is all about her. “ you and christopher have more than just chemistry too. i’m not just going off of silly theories I’m making up in my head, venus. i’ve seen you two kiss in front of me… i’ve heard you speak speak to each other— your ambitions were lowered, but there was still things that you were saying to him and that he was saying to you that made me think a little harder. it’s more than just you being attracted to him.” he sighs, hoping she really hears him. “you both have more in common than you and i do. when i talk about how i grew up and stuff, i can tell you feel a way about that. especially today when i was talking about the cabin idea i was only thinking about space-wise… and i know you guys joke around about how i can’t cook and stuff… and it’s funny, but when you put it into a different context, it’s not funny anymore. y’know? i can’t help but worry about stuff like that when it comes to christopher.” raf hates that the camping trip is starting out like this. “ this is not how i wanted tonight to go… i wasn’t supposed to say i liked you so soon… i had a speech planned.”

rafael knows that venus wouldn’t let him sleep outside in the pouring rain, but he also doesn’t know how this conversation is going to go. there’s no time for nerves. “chris bothers me… i didn’t wanna stand there and listen to you talk to your ex about how he wants to cook for you and whatever else. i wasn’t really tuned in to your conversation after a certain point.” why couldn’t she see that he has fallen head over heels for her? it’s clear now that he has to verbally say to her as soon as he possibly can manage to get it out. His reaction to chris is the direct tie to his feelings for her, if only she could understand that… see that, maybe everything will be easier for them. “i had things to tell you that i couldn’t tell you yet because I wasn’t divorced yet and i didn’t want to say anything before then, that’s why there wasn’t any texts or clear communication on my part and it was in poor taste because i know how you interpret that kind of behavior i should have of handled that better.” he stops talking to take a breather for a second before saying the next thing. “you being attracted to him is a problem for me, do you not understand that that’s why i react the way i do? i have feelings for you and you saying they are attracted to your ex is not something that’s exactly easy to hear. so, yeah it is bullshit— it’s not fun to listen to you talk about how you would sleep with him again and if given the chance he would sleep with you too… it’s one thing to be friends with your ex, but the added chemistry is very much unsettling, especially because i like you so much.” he shakes his head. “my divorce was finalized… that’s what i wanted to talk about, but not really in the form of a semi-heated discussion.”

[quietwingsinthesky]

you know what would be fun enrichment for thirteen. putting her in a time loop starting the moment she lands on gallifrey with the master.

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[trashcandroid]

Apparently my mom shares trans memes on her facebook, which is… cool I guess? But she also still posts old pictures of me all the time

[automatic-midnight]

My biased, really unpopular take is that I think rit/su/maya is an objectively boring ship.

[eeunwoo]

this is super on brand for me but today I’m experiencing debilitating frustration @ being misunderstood on the internet like some kind of loser 😩