#but rung is higher on my list

[daymarenightdream1]

❝𝗜𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱❞ (c:)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤/𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: Sukuna x reader

𝕊𝕦��𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: When the memories of your terrible past thrust you into a state of panic, the king comes to your rescue. Set in a medieval-ish era. True form sukuna.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤/𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕤: hurt/comfort, fluff(?), slightly ooc Sukuna

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 1.2k

𝔸𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: I had such a bad panic attack i wrote this purely as a cope lmao. Also, listened to a Sukuna asmr by Howl KAI where he calls you little akuma (little devil) and BRUH. It's entering my top ten list of nicknames. LOVE it so much.

I don't think this fic is even any good as i wrote it super fast but i hope you guys enjoy <3

Today was a bad day, you thought as you settled further into the small bed in the chambers the King of Curses had ordered you to reside in.

The quarters he’d ordered you to stay in were mere moments from his own, wanting your presence close by whenever he required your company. Recently, Sukuna had decided you, one of the meagre servants in his bustling palace, needed to be close to his own chambers. He no longer wanted to wait for you to traverse the thirty minutes it usually took from the servant’s quarters to his chambers whenever his urges struck him. Which led to your… change in duties and location.

Yes, today was a bad day. You didn’t have many of them, but when these episodes struck you, they were unpleasant, to say the least.

Terrible anxiety pulsed through you, scratching at your chest and plunging all the way down into your stomach. Your hands shook as sweat stuck your hair to the back of your neck. You wrapped yourself in your blankets, scrunching your eyes shut as you tried to breathe, breathe, breathe… You desperately tried to remind yourself, this would pass, this would pass, this would pass. You really didn’t want to rush to the bathroom again, acrid bile on your lips and a burning in your stomach.

They’re going to know exactly where you are…

But with each passing moment, the wave of sheer panic rose, circling higher and higher, dragging you on a rollercoaster of terror. Your thoughts spiralled, each one leading to another more catastrophic fantasy, rendering you to a mess of stuttering gasps as you attempted to grasp control. Nausea roiled in your gut like a serpent. Memories of the people from your village rung through your mind, torturing you with their cruel acts and disgraceful words.

They’re going to find you and hurt you. Laugh at you as you cry…

But you had no power over this, you knew you just had to ride it out. You tried to breathe again, chest fluttering as you vainly attempted to take another deep breath. The panic only settled deeper as your ribcage expanded, thoughts taking control of you.

They’re going to know. They’re all going to know and they’re going to ruin you.

Panic clutched at your throat, sending a terrible wrongness through you. Like someone had tried to play a chord and pressed the wrong key, dissonant sounds filtering through the air.

They’re going to get you…

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you wheezed, bile stinging the back of your throat. Suddenly, you whipped the blankets and furs to the side, stumbling for the bathroom, the meagre contents of your stomach clawing for escape. You retched over the metal pot in the lavatory, bringing up no more than sour liquid, having already emptied the contents of your stomach.

You finally finished heaving, cleaning your mouth with a spare rag as you wiped your tears and tried to calm your frayed nerves. You returned to the bed, cocooning yourself in between the linens and furs, taking solace in the moment of reprieve.

You felt your soul leaning forward, pressing against your chest as it ached for the king. You had grown used to his presence, and in this moment of weakness, found yourself desperate for his company. The usual fear that drove your every action in his presence was notably absent.

Suddenly, the door to your chambers whirled open, slamming against the wall. You jolted, turning to see the behemoth of a curse standing at your door. You were too frazzled from your episode to bother shaking.

“Who has threatened the life of my servant?” his voice boomed into your small chambers, the threat crystal clear in his tone.

You shook your head, words failing you.

Sukuna stalked towards you, one of his four hands clenching his blood-stained white robes as he sneered at the walls. “Who has dared to touch my servant.”

“No one, my king.” You sputtered.

“Then why does your soul tremble so?” Sukuna drawled as he clutched your blankets away to expose you, clad in a thin nightgown. He dropped the blankets to the ground, eyes scanning over you.

“I profusely apologise, my lord, it is… nothing of note. No one has threatened me.” Shame washed through you. Had you somehow led him to coming to you? It all added to your terribly anxious state, intermingling with fear as you worried that you had taken him from his duties. You had wasted his time with your silly mortal whims, as he often termed it.

Sukuna stared at you, the hard lines of his face smoothing into a calmer expression. His hand reached for your arm, gripping and pulling you forward as his piercing eyes scanned your appearance. He finally released you with a hum when he was satisfied you were unharmed. “Why do you tremble so, brat?”

You willed the tears building at your eyes to wither away as you rubbed at your eyes. “It is n- nothing, my lord.”

“Stop your waggling tongue. Do not lie to your king.” He crossed the upper set of arms, a tendon in his jaw flickering.

“Truly, my lord, it is nothing of note. It is not worth your time…” you mumbled as you reached for the blankets, craving their warmth.

“Do you think me to be a fool?”

A moment of tense silence sunk over you.

“I am sorry, my king. Truly, it is nothing.” You looked him in the eye as you tried to convince him.

“Listen, here, whelp. Your King felt your soul trembling from across the palace, screaming out for my presence.”

You froze, guilt grasping as fervently as panic at your chest. “I am sorry, my king. I have wasted your time needlessly.” You shook your head in shame.

He breathed slowly through his nose as he sat upon the bed, ushering you to the side before gathering you together with the blankets into his four arms like a pet, rubbing your back. “Little Akuma. Come now, settle.”

The panic that had clutched at you before lowered its ugly head an inch, slowly beginning to dissipate. He hummed, the vibrations going through his chest and rumbling into your body. Sukuna held you in silence for a while, the sounds of his calming breaths soothing you, before he spoke once more, probing tenderly. “Little Akuma, what troubles you so?”

“I… It is nothing, my lord. Sometimes… memories of the village. I remember what they did… It frightens me.”

He hummed. “You know that, by my hand, they live no more, do you not?”

“Yes, but…”

“You mortals perplex me so. Trembling over the workings of your mind. Rest now, I will guard this place.”

He pressed your head into his chest as he pulled your legs up and over his own, holding you in the bundle of linens and furs. His hands started to brush through your hair, scratching at your scalp in soothing repetitive motions. “It simply will not do for my servant to tremble so in my absence. From this moment, you shall accompany me in all my duties.”

You tensed. “I do not want to waste your time, my king…”

He sneered at you. “You have no say in this, brat.”

Your body settled, enveloped in his arms as the memories started to fade away. Once the king of curses decided on something, there was no point in arguing.

Sukuna brushed his fingers against your cheek. “No harm will come to you while you rest, now, my little Akuma. Rest.”

[sluts4matt]

HIGHER (420 special)

pairing: bsf!nate x mixed reader

summary: you've celebrated 4/20 every year since you were sixteen with a group of your friends, this year you were bringing one of your good friends nate to the get together. what happens when things take a turn between you two

warnings: SMUT, p in v, semi-public, swearing, making out, use of weed, pet names (use of ma), praising, use of y/n

word count: 2316

authors note: this was supposed to be out last week i'm ngl, i've just been busy and did in fact celebrate 4/20 so i fell asleep before i really got any work in on it.

view my master list here

april twentieth had to be your favorite day. the day your people got together to celebrate a plant helping them with the cruel world. this year you were happy to say your best friend nate would be joining you and your friends.

you pulled the tank top over your head, looking at yourself in the mirror before grabbing your watermelon flavored lip balm that your friend nick gave you.

you opened the tube, twisting the product up some before smearing it on your lips and smacking them together.

you slid on a pair of shoes, grabbing your pink bag containing pre-rolls and dabs, grabbing your keys and exiting your house. you locked the door and climbed in the driver's seat of your car, pulling away from your house.

you pulled up to the dispensary, walking into the shop. the bell above the door jingled when you pushed it open. "my favorite - shouldn't be here - customer," a girl with curly black hair and tattoos covering her arms smiles.

"hellooo whitney," you smile, walking up to the older woman. "need a new cartridge?"

"i mean... i didn't, i came in here for more dab, i'll be out by the end of the night. but do you have the blueberry kush west coast cure cartridge since i'm here?"

whitney nodded her head, you had come in a while back looking for one, but they didn't have any in stock. "you're in luck, we just got our inventory for the month last week."

you followed the woman to the back, not that you were supposed to be there since it was employees only. "hey, y/n," a guy with a backwards hat and gages greeted.

"hey axel," you greet, stopping behind whitney as she digs through boxes. "how are the babies?"

axel grins, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. "good, my girlfriend took the week off work so she could stay with them."

"ohhh that's so nice," you say. you had seen the twins a few times, even being blessed enough to babysit for a few hours while him and his girlfriend had date night.

whitney let out a small shout of success. "here it is, now, you're going to want to start low and then work your way up. you're a light weight compared to most of our customers."

you roll your eyes at her, "i am not," you huff. "that's not what i saw last time i did your nails," the lady grinned. whitney had been your go to for nails, having practiced while she was in high school.

"whatever," you roll your eyes, following her to the front. she rung up the dab, already knowing what her favorite customer liked and a cartridge. she stopped you before you swiped your card.

you watched as she scanned her badge, giving you a 30% discount. "i'll forever be grateful," you tell her.

"you know it. enjoy, have fun," she winked.

you walked back to your car, placing the white bag in the back before backing out of the parking space. you turned your left blinker on, turning out of the driveway.

the drive to nates house wasn't long, a whopping ten minutes. you pulled up to the curb, not even having time to pull up his contact before he was walking out the door.

you unlocked the doors, nate sliding in the passenger seat. "i hope you're ready to get baked out of your mind," you joke. he let out a small chuckle, taking the grey hood he wore off of his head, leaving him in his pink beanie.

"nice beanie," you muse, pulling away from his house and towards the park.

"thanks," he mumbled. "i'm glad to be going with you, it'll be fun," he smiles. "mhm," you hum, pulling up to the park fifteen minutes later. you turned your blinker on, turning into the parking lot before taking a parking space next to your friend sadies jeep.

"ready?"

"yep," nate replied, climbing out of the car.

you pulled your bag from the back, slinging it over your shoulder and grabbing the white bag before shutting the door. "heyyy," sadie and her girlfriend, emma, greeted getting out of her jeep.

"hey hey," you grinned, the two girls hugging you. "we were waiting for you guys," sadie informed. you nodded your head, starting the small walk towards the group of people.

you had met sadie a few years ago, her girlfriend emma being a family friend of yours. nate had joined the group some months back, the two of you running into each other at dunkin and immediately hit it off.

"hey guys," you greet, everyone saying their hellos. "well let's get the party started then," a girl with dyed red hair stated, pulling a lighter from her bra as she lit up the blunt she had held between her fingers.

a few hours into the gathering, you were happily baked.

you sat between nate and sadie, nates hand wrapped around your waist in order to provide some form of heat for you as you ate the watermelon popsicles someone had brought.

you sucked the tip of it into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip. nate coughed next to you, you pulled the tip out with a pop, looking at him as he took a deep breath.

"are you okay?" you question, handing him the popsicle. he grabbed it, nodding his head. "i'm good," he choked out.

"alrighty then," you laugh, reaching up and grabbing his beanie, putting it on your own head. you stood, stretching and cracking your joints as you did so. you held your hand out to nate, "wanna take a walk?"

he grabbed your hand, allowing you to help him stand. you turned to your friends, letting them know where the two of you were going, emma and sadie wiggling their eyebrows.

you grabbed your bag, throwing it over your shoulder as the two of you started walking, nates hand still holding yours.

"i'm glad you came with me today," you admit, leaning against him.

"so am i," he agrees. the two of you walk in silence, enjoying each others company. you reach a large tree, nate letting go of your hand to climb up it.

"actually?" you giggle, watching the boy jump to wrap his arms around a branch. he looked down at you, a small grin on his face. "come on."

you set your bag on the ground, grabbing a hold of the branch and jumping. nate caught your ankle, helping you climb into the tree. "what are we doing in a tree," you question, leaning against him.

he took the beanie off of your head, putting it on his own. "because i like trees," he shrugs. "oh yeah," you giggle, resting your head on his shoulder. you sit in a comfortable silence, the air around the two of you growing tense.

nate leaned his head against yours, turning his head some so his lips were closer to your ear. "i'm really glad we became friends," he admitted, nudging the side of your neck with his nose.

"me too," you sigh, smiling.

he pressed a small kiss to the side of your neck, making your smile grow. "i'm glad to hear," he mumbled, placing another kiss.

you felt a small amount of heat pool in the pit of your stomach. "we should probably get down," you mumbled, pushing the feeling down.

"probably," he mumbled. you both stood, nate dropping from the tree first. he held his arms up, his hands wrapping around your calves, sliding up as you slid down.

your legs wrapped around his torso as you slid, in hopes to stabilize yourself more as you slid.

the two of you fell back onto the ground, nates hand coming to rest on your back as you laid on top of him. you let out a small gasp, nate's breath fanning your face as the two of you laughed.

"are you okay?" you giggle, lifting your head up some to look down at the boy. "never better," he grins, his eyes flickering from yours to your lips.

he lifted his head up some, pressing his lips to yours quickly before he could talk himself out of it.

you kissed back, his hand moving to grip the back of your neck. his thumb rubbed soothing circles, the kiss not being rushed. you pulled back, looking at him. "can we go to your house?"

"please."

you pushed yourself off of him, helping him up. you grabbed your bag, taking his hand and guiding him back to the party. "hey guys," you smile, catching the attention of the group.

"hey," a few greeted. "hey, um, we're going to head out," nate stated.

"ooohh," sadie grinned, a smirk on her face. "die," you point, earning a giggle from her. "i love youuuu," she yells as you walk away. "i love you too," you yell back, laughing.

the walk to your car was quiet, the two of you walking slowly. you stopped at the passenger side door, opening it for him. "such a gentlewoman," he grins, you rolling your eyes.

you slid into the drivers seat, buckling and starting the car. you pulled away from the park, nate resting his hand on your thigh. his thumb running circles on your thigh.

the air in the car was thick with sexual tension, your breathing a little heavy. nate slid his hand further up, his fingertips grazing your core.

"this okay?" he asked, noticing you let out a shakey breath. "yeah," you breathed, gripping the steering wheel harder.

his finger ran down your core, a small groan escaping his throat. "fuck," he muttered.

"what?" you questioned, glancing at him.

"you're soaking."

you let out a small whine, biting your lip. "pull over," he groaned.

"wha- why," you stutter. "because i don't think i can wait until we get to my house," he mumbles. you bite your lip, pulling off into a hidden part of the road.

"turn the car off," he mumbles, pulling his seatbelt off and sliding his seat as far back as it would go. you turn the car off, undoing your seatbelt and shifting to straddle his lap.

you leaned forward, attaching your lips to his. his hands gripped your waist, his hips bucking up to meet yours. "fuck, can't wait to be inside you," he groaned, kissing along your jaw.

you ground down against him, the two of you moaning in unison. nate slid his hand between the two of you, pushing your skirt up as he undid his pants.

he pulled his member out, stroking it a few times before pushing your underwear to the side. he groaned, your slick coating the head. "fuck, so wet," he groaned.

"all for you," you whispered, nipping his earlobe. he pushed you down, the head pushing into your entrance. "fuck," you squeaked shoving your face into his neck.

"oh shit," he moaned, your walls hugging him. he pulled your shirt and bra cup down, his mouth connecting to one of your nipples.

"fuck, nate," you whined, pulling his beanie off and grabbing his hair. his tongue flicked your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive nub.

he thrust his hips up, a cry escaping your mouth. "i'm sorry," he muttered, not stopping the shallow thrusts.

"fuck," you cried, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening. "m'close," you moan. "already?" he grinned cockily, a moan escaping his own lips as you tightened around him.

you nodded your head, biting your lip and looking away from him. his hand grabbed your chin, pulling your head to face him. "let me hear that pretty voice," he cooed, thrusting up into you.

your hands rested on his shoulders, his thrusts speeding up. "fuck nate," you moaned. "right there," you cry, throwing your head back.

nate grinned, "right there ma?" he teased, his teeth connecting to your exposed neck. he thrusted into the spot, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"fuck," you moaned, the coil in your stomach snapping. your orgasm hit, your body shaking in his grasp.

"that's it," he encouraged. he kissed along your jaw, his hips working you through your orgasm.

"wait, shit," you moaned, his thrusts not faltering.

"why," he questioned, a small frown on his face. "cause... i'll cum again," you stutter. "okay, and?" he teased, biting his lip and smirking.

"oh," you moaned, leaning against him. he grabbed your ass, bouncing you in his lap. you leaned forward, connecting your lips to his.

he squeezed your ass, your walls clenching around him. "gonna make me cum," he breathed, his hips speeding up. you bounced with him, your breasts in his face. he kissed the tops of them, his lips moving across the skin.

"nate, oh my god," you moaned, throwing your head back. "so pretty," he breathed, his lips sucking a hickey into the skin above your nipple. "nate," you warned, your second orgasm approaching.

"cum for me," he ordered, his fingers digging into your waist.

you clenched around him, your second orgasm hitting. his hips stuttered, the coil in his stomach snapping as he shot his seed into you. the two of you panted, trying to catch your breaths.

he pressed his lips to yours, his hand roughly tangling in your hair. "so pretty," he murmured, pulling away and kissing along your neck. "such a pretty girl," he breathed, kissing your jaw.

"oh god," you breathed, your heart rate speeding up. nate smiled against your neck, pulling away and pressing his lips to yours. "so pretty," he breathed.

you bit your lip, sliding off his lap and adjusting your bra and skirt. nate tucked himself back in his pants, a blush on his cheeks. "wanna go to your place," you questioned, a shy smile on your face.

"absolutely," he grins. you start the car, buckling and backing out.

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[in1-nutshell]

Human Buddy's sleepover with Whirl

SFW, platonic, Human reader

MTMTE

To even have a sleepover with Whirl, Buddy needs to be on the top tier bestie list. Meaning it’s going to take time to even bring up the idea. When Buddy does get on Whirl’s good side there is a chance he might say yes.

Mainly because he is trying to be a little less threatening and get so friends thanks to a couple dozen sessions with Rung. The idea of a sleepover probably happened on one of Swerve’s Earth movie nights. There was a scene where Whirl nudges Buddy a bit and asks what the characters were doing on the beds with all the trinkets and stuff. Buddy quickly explains the concept of the sleepover before going back to the movie.

“So, this isn’t some murder coupe in disguise?”--Whirl

“Nope.”--Buddy

“…when are the guns going to come in?”--Whirl

“Whirl there are no guns in this movie.”--Buddy

“Then why am I even here?!”--Whirl

“Because you owe me a favor.”—Buddy

A few days after the movie, one evening, Whirl barges into Buddy’s room with all his sleep things proclaiming that they were going to have a sleepover. Buddy really doesn’t have much room to say anything and just goes with the flow.

“Sleepover time Fleshy!” --Whirl

It was a normal Tuesday evening on the Lost Light anyways.

Buddy introduces sleepover games to Whirl such as spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare and Never have I ever. Whirl takes a liking to Truth or Dare, mainly the Dare part. He knows Buddy can’t do certain things, so he won’t push things too badly.

“C’mon squishy climb the shelves even higher!”--Whirl

“Whirl if I fall and splat on the ground, I will haunt you till the end.”--Buddy

“Bold of you to assume I’d let you got splat on the ground.”--Whirl

“Aww you do care.”--Buddy

“Who else am I going to bother an shake like a rag doll?”--Whirl

“Wow, Whirl, I feel so loved.”--Buddy

“Yeah, yeah keep climbing, you still have another 2 shelves to go fleshy.” --Whirl

Soon enough it’s time to sleep.

Whirl gets a bit unsettled seeing Buddy sleeping a bit. He doesn’t know if slow breathing is a good sign. With what he knows slow breathing leads to no breathing meaning no Buddy.

So, he pokes Buddy from time to time. After the fifth time Buddy manages to find out the answer to Whirl’s poking.

“So, you just sleep? Don’t you need to keep that little pump of yours pumping?”--Whirl

“Yeah, but my body does it on its own.”--Buddy

“But what if it forgets or something?”--Whirl

“Then it’s been nice knowing you.”--Buddy

“…”--Whirl

That leads to a compromise.

Buddy sleeps in Whirl’s cockpit, that way Whirl can feel them, and they can both have a decent amount of sleep. Whirl’s cockpit is fit with tons of blankets and pillows. He doesn’t admit it, but he likes sleeping knowing Buddy is okay. They both sleep well.

When it’s time to wake up Whirl is groggy and just leaves the room thinking it’s his and goes about his day… meanwhile Buddy is still in the cockpit. They do wake up but decide to see where this goes, anyways they need a break from the reports. They had already filed a report saying they were going to take the day off yesterday.

Whirl doesn’t realize Buddy is still in him, Buddy just takes cat naps and plays on their phone from time to time with headphones on. He does realize soon though that Buddy is napping inside, but he can’t bring himself to kick them out… and wants to continue to watch some of the crew wonder where Buddy is at. He’ll tell where they are… eventually.

“Buddy? Have I seen them? Nope haven’t say I’ve seen them Eyebrows, not that I care anyways.”—Whirl to Rung

“Nope haven’t seen the today.”—Whirl to Drift

“What’s in my cockpit? Wouldn’t you like to know.”—Whirl to Cyclonus

For now he is watching chaos unfold slowly.

[decepti-thots]

Rung pen? Been going through it and i wanna buy pens to take to class that remind me of my blorbos lmao

OOOH, now Rung is an interesting choice. Orange is a fairly unusual fountain pen colour, second only to yellow I think in terms of not being at all a go-to colour. (Makes me sad. I love yellow.) Let me give you a few.

Similar to my pen I named Ostaros, I think of the IDW bots who have that 'internal skeleton' kind of body design like Rung has without kibble as being best represented by 'demonstrator' pens, i.e. ones with transparent or translucent plastic that show off the internal mechanisms. Nahvalur recently did a version of their Original Plus pen in a Halloween colourway that looks GREAT and fits perfectly:

(I have a Nahvalur Original; it's a great choice for a slightly nicer but still sub-fifty-quid pen! Use mine all the time.)

On the somewhat higher end of things, Sailor does some of their Professional Gear pens in the sort of translucent plastic that screams 'juicy 2000s-era iMac-style electronics in coloured translucent plastic', and I love their deep orange one in particular:

And finally, Rung is old as hell, so we need a vintage choice in there. This is a listing for a Parker Duofold from (according to said listing) 1990, or thereabouts. Old, vintage Parkers are often highly sought after these days, and very beloved by a lot of people. And so classy! Makes that orange look fancy.

[lemonmaggot]

Ice Cream at 3 A.M.

Summary: Lloyd has a nightmare about his dad and Kai is the only one awake to comfort him. (Takes place in season 1, about one or two weeks after Lloyd finds out he's the green ninja)

AO3 link:

Fic below the cut (2,310 words)

The fire ninja stirred in his bed with a groan. He had kicked his blanket off the end of his bed. With his already naturally high body temperature, he tended to overheat as he slept. It was routine at this point. He’d fall asleep with his blanket tightly wrapped around him, and then in the morning, he would pick it up off the floor. Yet now he felt chilled by the icy air below him coming off Zane. Kai groaned as he blindly felt for the ladder's rungs in the dark of the night. Kai slipped and narrowly caught himself before he crashed to the floor. The three other boys wouldn’t forgive him if he woke them up this early. It was already hard enough to learn how to share a room among four people, they didn’t need to add sleep deprivation to their list of issues.

Kai picked his blanket off the ground and threw it up onto his bed. He got one foot on the ladder before pausing to yawn. He cringed as he felt the air rush against his dry mouth. Now it was all he could focus on. Kai squinted his eyes, looking for his glass of water. He felt around before his hand came into contact with the cold glass. A cold, empty glass. Kai grumbled, “Stupid Jay… Can’t he get his own cup?” Another item on the list of issues that would never be resolved.

Kai took the empty glass with him out of the room he shared with his teammates. The fire ninja took note as he saw Lloyd’s door cracked open. He glanced in and felt his heart skip as he saw the faint outline of an empty bed. Had Pythor gotten on board and kidnapped Lloyd again? Or was this another villain’s evil plot? Where was that little brat now?

As the sound of wood scraping against wood met Kai’s ears, he sighed in relief. He knew that sound by now. Kai continued his journey to the kitchen, where he found Lloyd dragging a wooden stool to the cabinets.

“Hey kid,” Kai whispered, hoping not to startle the young boy, yet ultimately failed. Lloyd cried out and stumbled off the stool, landing on his face with a soft ‘ouch’. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Kai chuckled. He set his glass on the table and walked over to Lloyd to help him up. “Maybe I should unlearn how to sneak around so I don’t do that again,” Kai joked, but the smile fell from his face as Lloyd lifted his face from the floor.

Lloyd’s face was red and he had tears streaming down his cheeks. Lloyd already didn’t find Kai funny, but his jokes usually weren’t this bad.

“Whoa! Hey, what’s wrong?” Kai murmured, kneeling beside Lloyd, all of his older-brother instincts kicking in. “What are you crying for?”

“I had a nightmare,” Lloyd sobbed, sniffling and rubbing his nose against the sleeves of his shirt.

Kai fought the urge to gag and cringe at the volume of snot leaking out of Lloyd’s nose. He’d have to help the kid with laundry in the morning. “Do you want to talk about it?” Kai asked, his voice softer and higher than usual, something he had figured over the years helped soothe children. “You seem pretty upset by it.”

“It was my dad,” Lloyd hiccuped. “He- He-” The young ninja struggled to get the words out between sobs. Kai frowned further and wrapped his arms around the kid, bringing him into a hug. At first, Lloyd tensed, but soon he relaxed into Kai’s chest. “He was hurting me, and he threw me into a wall,” Lloyd sniffled, “and he… he told me he didn’t have a son…” Lloyd’s hand gripped the back of Kai’s pajama shirt tightly. “He… hated me…”

“Oh Lloyd…” Kai murmured, rubbing soothing circles into the kid’s back. “That could never happen. Your dad is the lord of evil and darkness, but he still loves you. That will never change. He is so proud of you… You’re the most important thing in the world to him.”

“But… it felt so real!”

“I know buddy… But you’re safe, your dad will never hurt you, and he will always love you,” Kai assured. Kai pulled back, looking down at Lloyd’s still snotty face. “How about we get your mind off this, yeah?” Kai offered a soft, reassuring smile. “Maybe some… ice-cream?”

Lloyd perked up at the mention of sweets. “Really?”

“Yeah, you’ve just gotta promise to brush your teeth again after and not tell anyone else, okay?” Kai asked, holding out his pinky to Lloyd. “They’d get jealous if they knew we were getting ice cream without them.”

Lloyd frowned at the idea of brushing his teeth again. It was already a fight to get him to do so before bed, he didn’t want to brush his teeth three times in a singular day. However, getting ice cream just might be worth it, especially if it was just him and Kai. Candy always tasted sweeter when he didn’t have to share. Lloyd wrapped his pinkie around Kai’s outstretched finger and shook it once. “Deal. My lips are sealed!”

Kai grinned and stood up. “Good, 'cause I also don’t want the others to know I have ice cream. It’s so hard to hide things from them in this house- or, well… ship.” Kai rested Lloyd on his hip as he made his way to the fridge. Kai opened the upper freezer door and rummaged inside. Reaching the very back, where ice had begun to take over the forgotten food, there was a bit of ice chipped out, hiding a pint of strawberry ice cream in the frozen walls. Words were scribbled all over the pint of ice cream, consisting of death threats to anyone who ate Kai’s ice cream without permission. Permission that would never be granted. Unless, of course, you were Nya as she got sibling privileges. Now Lloyd was added to that very short list.

Kai grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and set them on the counter. He struggled with opening his pint of ice cream one-handed, but he was determined not to set Lloyd down. Plus this was not the first time he’d had to learn how to do things with one hand. Kai was reminded of when Nya was a toddler. After their parents had abandoned them out of the blue. She would cry all night long, asking for their mother. Kai would try his best to soothe her and eventually found it easier to hold her until she calmed down. The adults in their village would often help during the day, ensuring the two kids were still alive and eating. But at night or when everyone was busy, Kai was solely responsible for Nya.

Kai promised to always protect and take care of his little sister. Now with his shirt soaked with tears and Lloyd gripping onto him so tight, as if he loosened his grip by a fraction that Kai would disappear, how could Kai not do the same for the young Garmadon?

Kai managed to scoop a satisfactory amount into both of the bowls and put his ice cream back into its hiding spot. He struggled to hold two bowls one-handed while also trying to avoid any of the deserts or their spoons from dropping. No one said it was easy to be a single mother when you were both a teenager and male.

Kai carried Lloyd out of the kitchen and into the open air of the night. He got halfway down the stairs leading to the main deck before easing himself down to sit. The fire ninja finally set Lloyd down beside him, but the young one did not let up his grasp on Kai’s shirt.

Lloyd only let go when Kai held out a bowl to him, this one having slightly less ice cream than the other. He didn’t want Lloyd to eat too much sugar and give himself another thing to be hurt about. Lloyd took the desert but kept pressed close to Kai.

For once in his life, Lloyd was slow to eat the sweet treat. He twirled the spoon, mixing the ice cream in circles. “Kai… do you really think my dad won’t ever hurt me?” Lloyd asked softly, looking up at the other.

“He would never,” Kai promised, knowing it to be a lie. Lloyd was destined to fight Garmadon. It would be impossible for Lloyd to not even get a small scuff in the final battle. But even an airhead like Kai knew that Lloyd did not need the truth right now. “But if he ever does, I’ll be there with you. I’ll protect you no matter what.”

Lloyd turned back to the bowl and took his first bite of ice cream. He thought something over before looking back up at Kai. “Like a dad?”

“Huh?”

“Yknow… Dads are usually the ones who are always there and protecting their kids,” Lloyd explained.

“I…” Kai hesitated. Being a dad was too much responsibility for him. Just because Kai was eighteen did not mean he was ready for adult duties. “I don’t know how to be a dad…” Kai began, seeing Lloyd’s face drop further. “But! I do know how to be a big brother. You see how Nya turned out, you could be just as cool and smart as she is with me looking out for you.”

A small smile crept onto Lloyd’s face. “Yeah! One day I’ll be so much cooler and better at fighting than you are! Just like Nya!”

Normally Kai’s ego would be hurt, but for now, he was just relieved that Lloyd was cheering up. The fire ninja chuckled and nodded his head. “You sure will, and I’ll get bragging rights to everyone that I have the coolest little brother in the world,” Kai grinned, ruffling his hand through Lloyd’s already messy hair.

Lloyd giggled and pushed Kai’s hand away playfully. Kai relented his teasing, letting Lloyd eat the rest of his ice cream. Now he ate much quicker than before, his usual pace whenever he got his grubby little hands on sugar. Kai smiled, relieved at how the sadness left Lloyd’s face.

Kai leaned back against the steps and sighed happily. He slowly made his way through his bowl. He wasn’t all that interested in eating something so sweet this late at night, but he wasn’t just going to let Lloyd eat alone. So when Lloyd finished his entire bowl and started eyeing Kai’s food too, the fire ninja rolled his eyes as he handed the child the rest of his ice cream.

“Thank you, Kai!” Lloyd cheered, eating the small remainder.

Kai looked up to the stars in the night sky. He shut his eyes momentarily as he relaxed. He heard the clanging of bowls and then felt Lloyd shuffle closer to him, leaning into his side.

“Can we stay here for a little bit longer?” Lloyd asked softly. “I don’t want to go back to bed just yet…”

“Of course, buddy,” Kai agreed, wrapping his arm around Lloyd. He rubbed soothing circles into Lloyd’s back. Kai opened his eyes, glancing down at the child. Lloyd had buried his face into Kai’s side. His eyes were closed and Kai knew he should make sure he didn’t fall back asleep before brushing his teeth. However, the moment was too nice to end. He would get Lloyd up and back to his bed soon. He swore.

Yet before he knew it, Kai’d eyes were drooping shut.

-

“Hey, sleepy-heads!” Kai groaned as he felt a light kick to his shoulder.  “You can’t sleep forever!”

 “Your voice is so annoying, Jay,” Kai grunted. Kai shifted, pulling the blanket on top of him closer. His eyes peeked open, actually taking note of the blanket. Where had it come from? Kai couldn’t remember. 

“Do you really hate sharing a room with us so much that you had to sleep outside?” Cole teased as he walked past the half-asleep duo.

“After stealing Master Wu’s blanket as well,” Zane added, passing by them as well to the main deck.

Kai sat up, yelping in pain from the kinks in his back from sleeping with the stairs digging into his back. Lloyd whined as his pillow moved away from him, forcing him to wake up. Kai lifted the blanket, analyzing it to see if Zane’s words were true. Kai furrowed his eyebrow and looked up, searching among his teammates. Kai’s eyes met with Wu, who wore a knowing look.

“It’s not my fault that Jay snores too loud,” Kai shot back. That wasn’t the real reason, but he knew at Lloyd’s age he was embarrassed by having nightmares. So it would be their little secret.

“Hey! It’s not that bad!” Jay cried, looking to Cole and Zane to back him up. However, the two refused to meet his gaze, looking in the opposite direction of their teammate. “Oh come on! I’m working on it! I’m sorry I can’t control my body while I'm asleep!”

Kai laughed as Jay was distracted by ranting about how he was doing so much, and the rest of them were also annoying in their sleep. How Zane made the room too cold, Kai made it too hot, and Cole was always moving around which made the bed creak and shake. Kai stood up and held out his hand to Lloyd, helping the child to his feet as well. “C’mon, let's go get ready while Jay is distracting everyone.”

-

“Are you really going to keep your promise?” Lloyd asked once the two were inside, preparing to brush their teeth. “From last night?”

“Of course I am,” Kai promised once more, ruffling Lloyd’s hair. “I’ll be the best big brother you could ever dream of.”

[skylarkking]

I've been whacked with the valveplug stick again and I have headcannons for some of the Lost Light crew.

🔞 under cut

I'm gonna start off by simply listing the characters I know currently (I've read up to the issue where overlord first appears but have read other snippets scattered on the internet) and the list will begin with my favorites:

Rung

Definetly into BDSM

Uses interface as therapy

Despite being a fucking tiny adorable nerdy twink he knows how to work big bots

His glasses sometimes fall off during sessions and when they do he's often too blissed out or focused on the other bot to care

He is a moaner and makes all sorts of sounds that bots are obsessed with

He has tried everything and anything

He attended one of Ratchet's orgies during Ratchet's college years as a Party Ambulance

He and Froid DEFINETLY had angry interface before and you can't tell me otherwise

Rodiumus

Legit a horndog

This mf gets so worked up that throughout the day he has to step aside and take care of himself

He's a bottom who tries to play top and FAILS miserably

Drift and him are fuck buddies (you can't tell me otherwise)

He's capable of gentle and intimate interface with someone he loves, but due to his inexperience and somewhat childish attitude (not his fault I mean he's essentially a guy in his 20s) he prefers quickies over that

After interface he sometimes forgets about aftercare

Drift

Way hornier than he lets on

Loves to have his neck bitten

When he is in heat he is either gonna top every bot in his reach and make them beg through tears or he's gonna beg Ratchet with tears in his optics. I'm sorry I don't make the rules here

I think when he was a Decepticon he was Hella into knifeplay

And I mean HELLA into it

Like this bitch would pop a boner if someone licked a sword or some shit

He bottoms for Rodimus mostly but in a sort of bossy bottom sort of thing

Ultra Magnus/Minimus

This guy.... this guy may act like he's only into vanilla shit, but I fucking GUARENTEE he's a freak

He's fragged Swerve before (size kink when he's in the Magnus armor)

When he's in the Magnus armor sometimes the connections for his own spike and the armor's get wired wrong and he has to "adjust himself" (like human amabs have to do with their dicks)

Out of the Magnus armor he secretly feels extremely vulnerable and anxious when it comes to interface because of how tiny our little dill pickle is

Side note: give him a fucking HUG DAMMIT! HE NEEDS IT!

Swerve

If any of the bots would fuck a human, it would be this bastard

He'd also have human kinks (like mommy/daddy kink [thanks @archie-sunshine for rotting my brain with that idea])

Despite being a motormouth I think he can easily be silenced by a pair of thick thighs around his head

Side note: I think minibots have WAY HIGHER stamina verses their larger counter parts, so swerve will be going at it for a loooooong time

Secretly has a stash of human porn in his bar

Magnus has found said porn once and for a week Swerve was on edge in keeping his secret

Skids

Since he can learn anything really quickly I think this bastard can master the art of seduction

Like he could simply give a bot those bedroom eyes and BAM! He's fucking

He's a massive cuddler after interface

Has fragged Nautica at LEAST 15 times

When he overloads his headlights sometimes flick on by accident

Ratchet

Oh you cannot TELL ME this guy hasn't had a kinky past

Party Ambulance is fucking cannon and no one can tell me otherwise idc if it's only a fan thing ITS CANNON AND ILL FIGHT GOD ABOUT IT

Not as horny as he use to be but when Drift or Rodimus get their heat cycles you better fucking BELIEVE he's on the case

A true master of aftercare

Really into bondage

These are only a few lmao I have SO MANY MORE

[katsu28]

🍭 lollipop could u do 31. (sudden spells of dizziness disturbing their day) from list 5 for steve pls? ty 🫶

ofc love!! thank you for requesting <3

steve harrington x reader, 1k, mentions of injury but nothing specific

Steve didn’t regret having the everlasting shit beat out of him more times than, since he was doing it to protect the people he loved (and the entirety of Hawkins), but goddamnit if it didn’t fuck him up in all sorts of ways. Mentally and emotionally, yes, but the worst one was how it messed with him physically.

Because of how many times he’d had his bell rung, he could barely hear out of his left ear and see out of his left eye, his head and whole body hurt to no end all the damn time, and more recently (more frustratingly too), he began having dizzy spells. 

He didn’t tell anyone at first, not even you, having been rather accustomed to dealing with his problems on his own, but the more frequent they came along, the harder it was for him to hide them. 

Fast forward to now, Steve’s dizzy spells were the worst they’d ever been. Maybe it was from a lack of sleep lately, or he hadn’t been drinking enough water, he didn’t know, but the room started spinning every single time he’d stood up so far today. He’d managed to keep the first few under wraps, but he was getting increasingly frustrated. 

“Hey, Stevie, can you help me grab the paper towels? Someone put the new roll on the top shelf!” And by someone, you meant Steve, who always “accidentally” kept important things on the higher shelves so he could swoop in and save the day when you couldn’t reach them. 

Steve smiled to himself. “I have no idea who would do such a thing!” He called back, tossing the magazine he was flipping through off to the side and going to roll off the bed. 

Big mistake. 

As soon as he did, he was hit with what had to be the most head spinning, stomach turning, ear ringing bout of dizziness he’d had to date. 

“Jesus Christ,” He breathed, squeezing his eyes shut. One hand braced himself on the bedside table, while the other came to drag through his hair, fisting the strands at the nape of his neck before letting them flop back into place. He took a few deep breaths, willing the room to stop spinning quickly so he could go help you. 

“Steve?” Your soft voice sounded out from the hall, and he opened eyes to see you hovering in the doorway, brows pinched in concern. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, fine.” He replied quickly. Too quickly. You didn’t believe him one bit. 

“Are you sure?” 

“One hundred percent sure.” He confirmed, aiming a reassuring smile at you. “How bout those paper towels, hm?” 

He knew his cover had been blown the second he took a step in your direction, when the entire room lurched sideways yet again, and he lost his balance, stumbling on his feet big time. You were at his side in an instant, steadying him by his forearms. 

Your brows furrowed, eyes scanning his whole body for any sign of what could’ve made him pitch like that but coming up empty. 

“I’m okay, I just moved too fast. Lost my balance for a second.” 

“Steve…” 

“What? I’m fine, Y/N.” He snapped, growing instantly guilty when you flinched the slightest bit at his harsh tone. 

“Why are you being so defensive?” 

“I’m not being defensive!” Even that sounded extremely defensive, and you both knew it. Steve inhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m just…frustrated.” 

“Frustrated? Why, baby?” Your voice turned hushed, gaze softening at his defeated tone. 

“I’m all kinds of messed up, sweetheart.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. You tilted your head curiously at him, rubbing your hand up and down his arm soothingly. “I get dizzy a lot. And, uh, usually I can deal with them on my own, but they’ve been getting worse lately. A lot worse.” 

“Oh, Steve,” You murmured, feeling your heart ache for the poor boy. You’d had your fair share of pain and trauma from the whole saving the world thing, but it was nothing compared to what Steve endured time and time again. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you.” Steve’s chin dropped towards his chest, dejected gaze aimed at his feet. “I know—I know we’re supposed to be a team, and tell each other everything but I…I really thought I had a hang on them. I don’t.” 

Steve was always the one who took care of everyone else. Need a ride somewhere? Call Steve. Need someone to rant to? Call Steve. Need someone to coax the neighborhood cat out of a tree because you scared it all the way up there trying to see if weed worked the same as catnip? That one was Eddie and only happened once, but still, call Steve. 

He was so used to putting everyone else before himself—so used to everyone relying on him, that he forgot that he could always rely on you. 

“Hey, no. You never have to be sorry with me, Steve. We’re in this together, yeah?” You insisted, looping your arms around his neck. “I’m the one who should be sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t come to me about this.” 

Steve shook his head vigorously, squeezing you tight. “If I’m not allowed to be sorry, you’re not allowed to be sorry.” 

“Okay. No sorrys here, from either of us.” 

“No sorrys.” He repeated, nodding once. No sorrys, but an endless amount of support, however and whenever Steve needed it. Whether that meant going to doctors to see if these dizzy spells could be remedied, or changing around your lifestyles to make things easier on him, you’d do it for Steve.

He’d do the same for you. 

“Just so you know, I’ll be your human crutch if I have to.” You offered, tilting your chin up at him. Steve snorted, rolling his eyes playfully. “Oh, don’t pretend like you wouldn't like that! Get to drape yourself all over me like you do when you're drunk.” 

“I don’t do that!” 

“Ask Robin. Or Eddie, or Nancy, or—” 

“Okay, okay, maybe I do. But it’s only because I love you.” 

“And I love you too. Otherwise I'd drop your wasted ass on the nearest couch and come home.” 

“...thanks.” 

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

this year's rewatch reminded me to add tolkein to my list of things to revisit now that i'm no longer under the bootheel of catholic higher education. it's a long list, but almost everything i've re-read thus far has been a completely different experience.

you don't have to buy into the catholic interpretation of a work for their approach to ruin it for you. i learned my powers of polite pedantry from the best, after all. i loved Oscar Wilde in highschool and then had my love for his work rung out of me for years by the sheer exhaustion that is talking to those people about anything.

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

As a follow-up on the Salmon Run weapon tier list, here's my personal Boss Salmonid threat level tier list!

Since this one does not have 55 entries, I can actually go into a bit more detail on each, so from the top:

Flyfish: I've already spoken at length about my opinions on Flyfish, but to summarize they are a massive damage threat at any range, are hard to reach, and have an incredibly small window of vulnerability that requires either one player to focus all their attention on them, or two players working in tandem, and even then are prone to physics engine wonkiness that robs you of kills you should have gotten. They are massive time sinks to deal with and are the only Boss Salmonid I think is unbalanced.

Stinger: The snipers of the bunch, Stingers can output consistently high damage with frightening accuracy, and would probably be the single biggest threat in the mode were they not so easy to take out. Not all weapons do it well, admittedly, but most of the time Stingers offer so little resistance that they're practically beaten as soon as someone gets within firing range of one. But make sure someone does that, or else they can singlehandedly ruin a shift.

Big Shot: I think there is a solid argument to be made that Big Shots should be higher than Stingers as they require far more effort to take out and have extremely potent large-scale area denial, but I'm putting them below Stingers because you can entirely avoid a Big Shot by just not being near the basket. Big Shots do not adjust their aim or actively target players, making them no threat at all once you're out of their line of fire. They're very close, though, and together with Stingers and Flyfish are the top priority targets. If any combination of multiple of these spawn in rapid succession then it's a very good idea to pop Specials to take them out as quickly as possible.

After them, there's a gap in the list, and that's because I genuinely think there the difference in threat level between the top three are big enough to warrant it.

Drizzler: A subset of people strongly believe that Drizzlers are the secret MVP of the Boss Salmonids, more dangerous than even Flyfish, and while I can't say I agree, Drizzlers are not to be underestimated. They put out long-lasting area denial and chip damage that can rack up fast and prevent healing while being quite tanky unless you manage to get an angle at which you can reflect their torpedos back at them. That said, I think a big mistake a lot of players commit is not going out of their way to shoot down the torpedos even if they can't be fired back at the Drizzlers, as I think doing so completely nullifies them.

Fish Stick: Fish Sticks on their own are almost nonentities, but that's because rather than being problems, Fish Sticks are amplifiers, making other problems far worse. When a Fish Stick sets up shop they completely shut down the space around them until they are killed, giving players far fewer options when dealing with more dangerous Bosses. Fish Sticks are easy to take out on their own, and therefore they should be dealt with as quickly as possible before they exacerbate a bad situation into a downright terrible one.

Slammin' Lid: It's tempting to leave Slammin' Lids alone to potentially use them as traps against other bosses, but unless a target is in the near vicinity then that's not worth it. Slammin' Lids spawn more lessers, cut off parts of the stage, and can even protect other bosses if they end up in spots where you can't trick them into slamming down on their comrades. Deal with them as soon as there's nothing more important around to use them against.

Steelheads: Large explosives and limited vulnerability make Steelheads very imposing foes, but they are very limited in range and mobility. If they are in the way, splat them on the spot, but if you can, drag them as close to the basket as possible before taking them out.

Steel Eels: Usually, being a melee-only foe puts you on the bottom-most rung of the Salmon Run ladder, but Steel Eel have an additional thing going for them: they are long. They take up a ton of space, serving as living walls that can trap your team and shields its friends. That said, they are so vulnerable to anyone who can flank them that they still rank pretty low, but they have the potential to become huge problems and need to be dealt with as such.

Maws, Flipper-Floppers, and Scrappers: I am bunching all of these together as my opinion on them are largely the same. They can all be problems in their own right, but these three bosses are melee-only foes that are easy to control and fairly painless to take out. There are very few scenarios in which you need to actively worry about them, and you can almost always drag them to the basket risk-free.

[thetangibleghost]

Someone I follow: [posts]

Me: interesting... [Moves them exactly two rungs higher on my 'If This Fictional Character Were Real and Had a Tumblr Blog, Which of the Blogs I Follow Would It Be?' list. I have several]

Me: this is how normal people have fun. I'm sure.

[telltalesonline]

Bridgerton: The 20 Best Characters, Ranked

Dearest Gentle Reader, what is it about the hit period series Bridgerton that keeps you firmly hooked on like a tight-fitted corset?

Is it the steamy love scenes or the profound romantic declarations? Or perhaps it’s the stunning costumes, grand sets, and classical pop covers that you burn for. Mostly, though, I have a feeling it’s the characters that keep you gripped on this popular TV show.

From the dashing Duke of Hastings to the multi-dimensional Bridgerton siblings, every character is as alluring as the Regency-era setting itself. But in the words of Lord Anthony, who is the “bane of my existence and the object of all my desires?”

With every season — and spin-off — the show goes through a wardrobe change of characters, so it might be best to do a roll call of the most memorable ones.

Scroll down for my ranking of the 20 best Bridgerton characters (including those in Queen Charlotte) — based on their impact, likableness, and overall contribution to the series.

20. Cressida Cowper

Where else would this ill-mannered gossip be, if not at the bottom of the list? Cressida Cowper, my least favorite Bridgerton character, is like that coworker you want to defenestrate, or that neighbor you fantasize about running over. I’m exaggerating, obviously. Although she’s had some character growth and I feel *slightly* sorry for her, I can’t forgive her for picking on poor Penelope, gossiping and competing for suitors. Pretty sure she cries herself to sleep for being match-free.

19. The Featherington Sisters

Whiners and graceless groaners, Prudence and Philippa are no one’s favorites — neither in our hearts or among the ton. They now have different surnames as they both successfully married, making their mama heave a sigh of relief. However, their pitiful, back-breaking journey to this status remains fresh in my mind. On the one hand, you’re happy for them. On the other, you feel sorry for those poor blokes.

18. Mrs. Varley

Now, why would a lowly servant rank higher than high-born ladies? Unlike her fellow trusty servants on this show, Mrs. Varley stands out not just for being the Featheringtons’ loyal housekeeper, but their partner in crime, as well. She could have left when they were insolvent, but she stayed, taking up the family’s duties and plotting with Portia for the good of the household. What other housekeeper would do that? Someone give Mrs. Varley the Servant of the Season Award!

17. Lord and Lady Mondrich

Because they are a T-E-A-M — and possibly the most superior couple on the show. Friends of the Duke of Hastings, and well-acquainted with the Bridgertons, the businessman and his audacious wife are slowly becoming favorites, and for that, they deserve a worthy mention. From rigged fights to opening a manhole, they try to stand firmly on their feet, as they aren’t as endowed as others. But having now gone from working class to high society, these two are clearly moving up in the world of Bridgerton, and I love that for them.

16. Benedict Bridgerton 

What’s a Bridgerton doing on the lowest rungs of the ladder? Benedict is a great guy, but his character isn’t as flourished as his more popular family members. We know he wants to be free to forge his own path, uninfluenced by societal expectations, and he’s also the supportive sibling who’s there when you need him. Remember when he rescued Eloise, the sibling he’s closest with, from a crude description of how babies are made?

15. Genevieve Delacroix

Ah, Benedict’s ex-fling with the fake French accent…The successful businesswoman who styles the ladies of the ton and collaborates with Lady Whistledown. That alliance ended when she realized their tryst wasn’t worth a charred reputation. But throughout the series, she’s proven to be a good person, and bestie to Penelope. Need advice, a place to crash, or want to spread a rumor about someone having an illegitimate child so you don’t have to marry him anymore? Just head over to the modiste!

14. Simon Basset

It goes without a doubt that the Duke of Hastings was one of the best characters in the first season. He was ridiculously good-looking, and his presence always spoke more than he ever did. But I can’t say I *miss* him. Simon hangs low on the ladder, as he allows his hatred for his father to control him by denying Daphne, his wife, the joys of motherhood. In the end, love, frequent shenanigans around the estate, and of course common sense prevail, and Augie Bassett is born.

13. King George

Although not so much a major character on Bridgerton, the spinoff show Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story helped us sympathize with the once-was charming and graceful king. A well-rounded and humanized portrayal of a vulnerable King who is plagued by mental illness, I couldn’t help but feel a certain level of compassion for this character as he navigates the tragic relationship with his wife.

12. Colin Bridgerton

“I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington…” Well, I will never forget those words Mr. Colin Bridgerton!!

But all things (and Season 3) considered, he still gets brownie points for being the perfect gentleman. Indeed, despite being blind to the whole package that is Penelope (except in Season 3, of course), Colin is the ultimate sweetheart. He looks out for Featheringtons before they almost get shanghaied; expresses that he could have married Marina despite the pregnancy; and rescues his best friend Penelope from the many torments of the ton. Colin’s that guy you wanna be friends with, but not too friend-ly with, you get me?

11. Edwina Sharma

Timid and sweet Edwina is bland to say the least. Her agreeable nature makes me yawn and yes, I use her scenes for bathroom breaks. It was when she discovered that Anthony, her husband-to-be, was in love with Kate, her sister, that I felt some fire oozing from her. That fire restored order in both households and mended her relationship with her sister. It also gave her a prince instead of a viscount, so you know, talk about leveling up!

10. Daphne Basset

The incomparable Duchess Daphne Basset. The pretty face that had men swooning and girls admiring. The Bridgerton that chose a Duke over a Prince…and took drastic measures to ensure pregnancy. The things we do for love, right? Of course, she has to be among the top 10 characters! As the first Bridgerton daughter, she discharges her duties of setting a good example for her younger sisters and upholding her family’s prestige splendidly. But in what world did she think she could play around with the handsome Duke and not get…burned?

See the full ranking at Tell Tales Online.

[steelycunt]

Hi! Can I ask top 5 chocolate bars? Double deckers got be on there, right?

hello my love! certainly xx although while i do like a double decker im afraid they didnt quite make the cut...

5 -> toblerone. delightful. mightve been higher on the list had i not only just remembered it existed. beating bars such as classic plain cadburys, crunchie, peanut butter kitkat and white dairy milk to take the last spot. not the sort of thing you can justify buying yourself as a snack, unfortunately. too expensive. a toblerone has to be passed onto you, like an heirloom or something.

4 -> kinder white bueno. the fact that they give you two in a bar...whats better than finishing one half and knowing youve got the other bar still to eat. infinitely sweeter than if it were to just be one big bar. im also including happy hippos on this rung because theyre practically the same thing.

3 -> galaxy cookie crumble. have they discontinued this? i can never find it anymore. it wouldnt surprise me every chocolate i love is under constant threat of discontinuation it seems. but they still sell that rank caramel one which is just pure runny caramel in the chocolate. who wants that? over cookie crumble? fucking no one, mate. pisstake.

2 -> those little reeses peanut butter wafer things? they come in a pack of two theyre life chocolate over wafer and peanut butter? fucking fit but so hard to come by. theyre better than the cups be serious. the only place i know ill get them is the second closest petrol station to me. we dont often have reason to stop there.

1 -> white chocolate maltesers (discontinued as of 2014). i know technically they aren't a chocolate bar but theyre still worth mentioning because the alternative is that they are lost from society's collective memory and i wont allow that to happen. white maltesers existed and they brought me joy and they were taken from me. i am the man, i suffered, i was there.

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2023 Day 7- Minotaur Part 1

The Rut

So this is four parts. Because I went, just, hog wild with this. And with a twist of it being a caribou minotaur. Plus Arctic Tundra *cough* Alaska *cough*, which is where I was born and where I spent my early childhood. So you'll see a lot a lot of personal touches.

Parts 1, 2 and 3 are pretty mild and SFW, part 4will be NSFW and part 5 is SFW. Just heads up.

Thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 prompt list. As well as to @catbatart for thier Monster March prompts as well.

Enjoy.

Monster March Day 7- Minotaur - Caribou Minotaur

The Rut

Part 1

Emergency Appointment

“Hello, this is Bianca with The Velvet Spa, how can I help you?” You answered the phone as it rung even in the breakroom, from the overflow out front. For you, it was a sign that business was good. But right this second, it was interrupting your break. But the sacrifices you had already made for this place, a few more minutes probably wouldn’t mean a lot to you, but could potentially mean a lot for them, so you picked up the phone. 

“Hi, I’m Bauvar Leopold, I’d like to schedule a velvet shedding appointment?” Bauvar asked in a hopeful desperation. 

“Of course. Are you new to the Velvet Spa or have you been to see us before?” You asked as you tried to see if you could pull his client file up from your phone on the spa’s app. 

“No, I haven’t.” He sheepishly admitted. 

“Ok, well, then let me get you into the system, could you spell your name for me?” You asked before he spelled it out and gave you more of his personal information, including that he was a caribou minotaur. Which meant he would need a larger than usual appointment because caribou, either of the traditional classic taur variety or the minotaur variety had large antlers, not as big as the moose-taurs, but close. 

“Thank you so much, so, let me see what we have available, is there a day of the week you’d prefer? Mornings or afternoons?” You asked as you looked through the massive schedule, it was “pre-rut” when most taurs who had antlers as opposed to horns- needed to remove the velvet to reveal their new antlers every year. Most of these clients had appointments months and even years in advance but The Velvet Spa was always eager to hire new velvet strippers to strip the velvet off of antlers for your deer-taur, moose-taur, elk-tour and caribou-taur clientele as well as the minotaur community and all of the subspecies that taurs came in. When it wasn’t busy helping with the winter coat removal or antler removal in winter and a myriad of other services. And this was the height of the velvet stripping season.

“Anything, the soonest you have available, I can come whenever you have an opening. Please, I’m desperate.” Bauvar pleaded as you could tell he was probably fighting not to destroy his own house in an attempt to take the once nourishing velvet off of his now- fully formed antlers as the velvet soon began to die off and shrivel up, and constrict on the antlers, leaving the client very uncomfortable.  

“Ok, well I do actually have an urgent- after hours appointment available this evening at 7pm then, however those appointments are at a higher price point than our usual appointments have. Otherwise the next open appointment isn’t until the day after tomorrow.” You offered. 

“I’ll take it! I’ll be there! Thank you so much, I don’t care what it costs, but I just really need this taken care of as soon as I can.” He offered gratefully. 

“Ok, I’ll see you then.” You offered before you hung up the phone and went back to trying to wolf down your lunch in between appointments.

You continued with your day and just as you were walking your previous client out to the waiting room to get checked out as he thanked you by dipping down and hugging you, since he was simply massive and his antlers were massive and nearly scraped the walls as he came down the hallway with you to check out as he was the classic moose-taur client.

“Thank you so much Bianca! Really, you’re a miracle worker. You’re the best.” He thanked you gratefully as he slipped a hefty tip into your hands and even a gift card for your favorite coffee joint, Caribou Coffee that was right down the street- into your hands as he did the handshake/hug gesture with you. 

“You’re welcome Mack, don’t forget to reschedule your antler shed appointment and your winter coat de-shed appointment too.” You reminded him. 

“Yes, can’t leave here without those.” He smiled gratefully as he then faced the receptionist as you picked up the new client paperwork that Bauvar had filled out and turned in. 

“Mr. Bauvar Leopold?” You asked as you took it and looked towards the other caribou minotaur clientele before Bauvar practically leapt out of his seat and gave a little waive once he got over his initial shock that it was a human that was his velvet stripper. He expected another taur or another minotaur to be his velvet stripper like the others. But to see little you come out was a surprise and shock. Although you were, if he was honest, one of the more beautiful humans he had ever seen. And you looked like the perfect professional in your monogrammed scrubs. 

“That’s me, wow, you got my name right. That’s quite impressive.” He thanked you gratefully as you could see he had already dripped some blood onto the shoulders of his really nice suit and had attempted to clean it already, since it was still damp. And while from the neck down, he looked like a perfectly professional businessman, from the crown of his head up, his antlers were all wrapped and bleeding through the bandages as he looked about ready to itch his way out of his skin. But, otherwise, a pretty handsome caribou-taur in your opinion. But you had to remain professional. 

“I try. Everyone deserves to have their name said correctly. Let’s get you squared away Mr. Leopold.” You offered. 

“Oh, you don’t need to call me that. Bauvar is fine.” He invited. 

“Then you can call me Bianca.” You invited as you gestured for him to follow you to your appointment room you kept for minotaurs of various varieties. 

“So, Bauvar, on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being, not bothersome, and 10 being- you’re about to hug a cholla jumping cactus if it means getting the velvet off, where are you at?” You asked him thoughtfully as you looked him in the eye for the answer after glancing over the velvet to see where it was in the process of shedding his velvet as you could already see where he had tried to wrap it to keep from bleeding on the carpet and furniture as the points were already poking and peeking through. 

“A solid 9.” He estimated. 

“So jumping head first into a thornbush, got it.” You grinned which got him to bark a laugh. 

“Yeah, just about.” He readily agreed. 

“Well I’m here in room 5, so come on in and lay back into the chair.” You invited once you opened the door to the room and showed him to a special reclining seat that reclined into a special sink that one would recognize from a hairdresser salon. But was specifically for antlered clientele to comfortably recline and simply get their antlers shed of their velvet before he did, as the chair almost reminded him of a dentist chair but with a few buttons pressed he was reclined comfortably and the chair conformed to how he wanted it as you passed him a set of sunglasses to wear to shield his eyes from the special lights you’d use as you were putting on special gloves, getting new supplies before you were unwrapping the bandages on his antlers. 

“Ok, so let’s see what we have here.” You murmured as you inspected the velvet as you went along, seeing which patches were dead, or dying and some of them, trying to hang on for dear life, but the velvet was oily and dulled, which was the sign that the velvet was ready to come off as the different areas were already poking through while the velvet tried coming off with the bandages themselves. 

“So you still have areas here at the base that are pretty active, I’m going to numb the velvet to ease discomfort ok?” You offered. 

“Ok.” He readily agreed and tried not to grimace when he felt the prick of the needle all over the different nerve branches in the velvet, but he could not stop the pleasured exhale and practically moaned when the relief bloomed all over his antlers as his body soon relaxed. 

“Better?” You asked with a knowing grin. 

“So much better, already, wow. Thank you.” He confessed before you took your special blades and scalpels gauze to clean up any blood as well as a special soap to wash the blood away as you would work as you walked around. 

“Also, that’s a special massage chair so you just use the remote to get what you want while I work- ok?” You reminded him. 

“Oh! That’s awesome. No wonder everyone raves about coming here. When they said ‘full service medical spa’ they weren’t kidding.” He noted as he brought the remote up to his face to look at it and start the different massage modes as he practically melted while you meticulously worked on cutting and removing the velvet, soaking up any residual blood while the numbing agent also reduced blood flow and kept the bleeding to a minimal. 

“Well hopefully you’ll find it’s a well earned reputation.” You smiled as you focused on getting the velvet at the highest parts of the antlers, using a special stool to allow you to get to it comfortably. 

“So what happened that you needed the velvet off today?” You asked. 

“I thought it would have come off next week, but it started early and last night, the urge to smash everything in the house trying to get it off this morning was particularly poignant. And then when we had a business lunch I damn near stole a steak knife to cut it off right there in the restaurant. But I made the mistake of rubbing them against the walls in the bathroom stall in the office, thus, the blood on the shoulders of the suit and the business lunch being particularly awful. I don’t know why we have them this time of year. I’m going to have to pay the dry cleaners extra just to clean the suit.” He explained. 

“Well, then we should watch out for infection if you started rubbing the antlers in the bathroom stall of all places.” You reminded him. 

“Yeah, I tried to wash it and put some antiseptic but I think that just made it worse.” He confessed. 

“Ah, that explains the extra grease, because you probably used micitricen eh?” You noted. 

“You can tell?” He asked. 

“Oh yeah, there’s antler oil and then there’s the vaseline grease that most try to put on if they start cutting and itching before the velvet is fully ready to die because if the velvet gets infected before it can die off, you can lose the antlers altogether. But some get a little antsy and eager to be of the first to shed the velvet among their peers.” You noted. 

“Well that wasn’t the case with me. I try to leave it on, because it hurts the antlers if you take it off too soon.” He insisted. 

“It sure does. Some do their best to wait for it to fall off all on its own, but by that point, then you get flies attracted to the rotting velvet. And that’s always bothersome and irksome.” You offered as you continued to work diligently to get between the tips at the top. 

“True.” He had to admit. 

“But the itch just took me by surprise this year.” He offered. 

“So I take it you woke up this morning and instantly wanted to have a breakfast date Edward Scissorhands to get it off?” You gently teased. 

“Yes! That’s exactly it. Like it was so hard not to just get one of those metal back scratchers and go to town.” He admitted. 

“Is that what you usually do?” You asked. 

“Yeah, can you see all the claw marks from the scratcher?” He asked. 

“A little. So why’d you decide to come in and get the velvet professionally removed?” You asked. 

“Our business partners at lunch, apparently they came in the day before yesterday and got it done and had nothing but the highest praise about this place.” He explained. 

“Aww, well I’m glad you called and could get in today. The rest of your week would have been toast, I can see how this stuff would drive you nuts until you could get it off.” You sympathized. 

“You can tell? Just by looking at it?” He asked. 

“Yup, by the look and the feel. It’s all sweating shedding oil. Looks like it’s actually been doing this for a few days now. You may not have noticed if you’re super busy. Dying velvet is like the worst mosquito bite over a burn blister next to a scab kind of feeling- ever.” You noted as you continued to slice as much free hanging velvet as you could as Bauvar was impressed that you would know something like that and put such a feeling into a wonderful illustration that anyone, whether they had antlers or not could understand. 

“So…how’d you get into this? Most places have other taurs doing this sort of thing.” Bauvar noted since you were human but you were dealing with his velvet as if you were another taur yourself. Not unless you were mixed and you simply really favored your human heritage and your own antlers were hiding in your hair that you had pulled up into a pretty bun over your pretty head and while his own senses were acute, for some reason, your own pheromones in the air were just as heavenly as your floral perfume and he was fighting not to have more a physical reaction to you than he was already having. 

“Yeah, I get that alot. But I was born here in the Arctic Tundra. My Mom grew up in Fair Banks and my dad is in the airforce, he’s still at Eielson Airforce Base. I was born in Anchorage and my other sisters were born right here in Juneau, so I grew up with a lot of moose-taur, elk-taur, deer-taur and especially caribou-taur friends and of course those subspecies of minotaur as well. And so every fall before rut, I remember they’d actually miss school to go out into the woods to shed their velvet on the trees themselves that way. And so because I was smaller and simply had an eye for it, little nimble and dexterous fingers that could hold a razor blade in one hand and some antiseptic soaked cotton balls in the other- I could get in there with some and simply remove it for them so they weren’t so miserable. And then when the spring came and their winter coats had issues shedding right along their shoulders and mid back, I would help de-shed them too. So, just growing up all around it, I went to school for it right out of high school and have been doing it ever since.” You answered with a small shrug as you really focused on getting the inner corners and pulling it back and removing it in smaller pieces so it wouldn’t stress the antlers or cause discomfort once the numbing agent wore off as you used the many tools in your specialized tool belt to do so from a standing position as you held his antler in one hand with various bits of gauze to keep any blood from dripping down onto him or his clothes anymore.  

“So you’ve been doing this a long time then eh?” He realized. 

“Yup.” You confirmed with a nod as you continued to work on his upper antlers first before you got it all off, putting the pieces of velvet into a special compartment on the belt, meant to be thrown away, washed, disinfected and sanitized between clients before you moved over to the other side and get that taken care of as he seemed more interested in watching you work intently and could see you use both hands to work the scalpel and other tools as you switched them out without looking but could do so purely out of touch and in mere minutes had removed more than he usually did in a matter of days. 

“Are you ambidextrous?” He asked. 

“I am. I write better with my right hand. But yeah, for the most part, I am.” You confirmed. 

“That must come in handy here.” He noted. 

“It does.” You grinned as you noticed how he seemed to be almost hypnotized by you and your work on his antlers. 

Which, you were used to. Most taurs- whether traditional or minotaur- were very particular about their antlers or horns and their fur. And especially for male taurs, they put a lot of emphasis on the size, and symmetry of their antlers as it was always something that was tied closely with masculinity and virility for them. And honestly, he had quite a bit to be proud of, at least this year.

But you had learned that antlers could change from year to year and individual to individual. And frankly, after seeing thousands and thousands of them, their impressiveness seemed to lose it’s novelty. In fact, most preferred a non-taur specialist because most were either afraid or uncomfortable about any female taur being impressed by them and putting strains on their committed romantic relationships or having a female taur specialist, meant that most males would often switch into ‘must impress’ mode and ruin the serious medical and clinical aspect of this medical spa. 

However, you faced a different kind of discrimination. Because you were human, most taurs felt that there was no way for you to ‘relate’ to taurs because you didn’t have antlers yourself. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Every romantic relationship you had ever had- had been with a various minotaur subspecies. Moose, elk, deer and caribou. And you had kids from each one to boot. So being a mother to taurs. You knew all too well what it was like for your boys to have thier little antlers and thier velvet driving them nuts. But this was no time to discuss your personal life. This appointment was all about Bauvar and his comfort and your professional services.

So, he just watched as you cut all the velvet off and then went back to the now pink and red antlers since there was still blood staining the antlers as you carefully washed it all off with a series of special sponges soaked with various cleaning solutions and soaps and wiped them clean so that the antlers were a pearly white, and practically glowed white too and he felt like a brand new caribou-taur. 

“Now, do you want any kind of staining for your antlers as well or do you want to go all natural? There's a small cataloge to the right of you that shows the various stains and what they would look like.” You asked before he took it out and gave it an appreciative glance.

“Well, I think for today, just natural is just fine with me.” He answered before he slipped it back into place.

“Ok, then, we’re all done then.” You announced after giving them one last check, just as the numbing agent left and he felt a slight dull ache on his head from where the base of his antlers were, but that was nothing compared to the discomfort he had felt only an hour before.  

“Now, when you go home, ice the base of your antlers if they ache or hurt. You can also take any pain relievers that you like. But you should sleep much better tonight than last night. And tomorrow, you shouldn’t feel a thing.” You offered once you were done and pressed a button on the floor next to the chair to sit him back up. 

“Thank you, so much, this was…the best velvet de-shedding I’ve ever had.” He admitted before he got up out of the chair and stared in awe at his antlers in the huge tri fold mirrors on the wall so he could see all around them. Impressed you had gotten all of it and they looked amazing. 

“I’m happy I could help.” You smiled as you were already putting the tools in the sink to wash, clean, disinfect and sterilize after you dumped your container that had his velvet into the trash and washed your hands after removing your gloves that you worked in. 

“Thank you so much.” He thanked you as he hugged you tightly, which you had gotten accustomed to many of your clientele doing as you hugged him back. Caribou minotaurs always had some of the softest fur, but weren’t so big you felt like they were going to crush you like a twig like the moose-taur could. But big enough to give good bear hugs. And make you feel like you helped them and made a difference in their lives and relieved any discomfort, pain or suffering. 

“You’re welcome, come on, lets get you checked out.” You offered as you pulled away before he jumped to open the extra tall, large and wide door. 

“Ladies first.” He offered. 

“Thanks.” You grinned as you left with him to walk him and his file back up as you were making notes about his antlers and the velvet and what you did in them as you did. Using shorthand and numbers and codes to show what you had done and services you had rendered. 

“Macy will get you checked out, and don’t forget I also do antler shedding, and winter coat shedding as well and if you’ll need me to remove the velvet next year, they can schedule you out that far too.” You reminded him as he had pulled his wallet out while he didn’t have any cash, he was about to leave you one hell of a tip on his card as you turned in his file and got the next. 

“Mr. Matthews?” You called out as you got your next client and brought him back. 

“So? How was it?” Macy asked as she took the folder and glanced at the notes and started checking him out. 

“The best ever. What other appointments does she have for…everything?” Bauver asked hopefully. 

“Well, Bianca is our most popular specialist, she does it all. How she had an opening in her schedule is practically a miracle. You’re really lucky. Most underestimate her and the work she can do because they think that just because she isn’t a taur herself, she couldn’t possibly understand what having antlers is like. But usually after just a single appointment, she proves them wrong and wins clients over in a heartbeat, and then she’ll get flooded with referrals from them too. Which we do have a referral credit system too.” She explained as she got everything pulled up and ready. 

“And so your total today is $175.05.” She said before he happily handed the card over while grabbing your business cards and putting them in his wallet. 

“Well, she’s definitely won me over.” Bauvar admitted. 

“So…do you know…if she…?” Bauver began to ask to see if Bianca actually was interested in dating taurs of any kind in the first place before Macy looked up from her credit card machine to raise a curious brow. 

“If she…?” Macy repeated, wanting him to finish the sentence. 

“Um…available, appointments, available.” Bauvar lost his nerve and stuttered instead of actually asking what he wanted to know. 

“Well what services would you like to have?” She asked once she stripped the receipt off and handed him the card, the receipt and a pen for him to sign it as he rounded up and left a very hefty tip and handed the receipt back after putting his card away and she got him rescheduled for when the antlers would most likely come off and when he would need his winter coat taken off as well.

[s-creations]

I don't mean to sound rude or impatient, but do you have an intended date of the release of the next yellow purple red green chapter? And not to mention hues?

Love your work, by the way, and just take your time. Continue creating masterpieces.

Long story short: No idea. I'm aiming for late November to December.

All out on the table, time is not something I have an abundance of. I won't directly state what my job is. But given context clues, I'm sure you can figure it out.

I have some decent sized breaks, namely in Winter and Summer. Meaning that, right now, I'm in the middle of everything.

Pile on top of that getting more responsibilities with this job, taking online classes, having mandatory training, trying to get a proper work/life balance, trying to gain a healthy lifestyle, being an adult. I'm busy! This is not a list of excuses, these are just things that take highest priority.

Meaning that my personal projects, not just my writing, takes low rung on the ladder.

This is kind of why I will occasionally post a 'write a drabble based on an emoji' post or something like I did with Halloween. I haven't forgotten about you guys or the AU. It's just time consuming to write. And I don't have a lot of time.

Please also keep in mind, I'm not getting paid for this, in any way. This is a hobby that I love doing, and I can't rush/focus on this if it's going to get in the way of higher demanding items.

This is not me calling you out, oh anonymous one. I'm sure other people have wondered the same thing. So, I'm just providing the full answer for the question that's on everyone's mind. I'm doing what I can with the time that I have. But I'm not running myself ragged to get mediocre items pushed out.

Understandable question! I hope you enjoy the reminder of what every day/night/morning/evening that you're experiencing right now!

[sassasafreeaction]

This might have been rattling around in my brain all day. I may or may not do more with it. I'd at least like to get to some parts with Rick - I mean Crowley. I actually have a lot of other character's plotted out too....

While the Museum of Antiquities wasn’t as comfortable as his bookshop in London, there had always been a certain appeal to higher academia that Aziraphale Fell found himself unable to resist. Even now, when they had him acting as a glorified librarian instead of having him actually translating texts, the original reason why he thought that they had bothered to summon him to Cairo, he couldn’t help feeling like he was on some sort of... adventure. 

“Ignatius Sybilla, St. John the Divine of Patmos, Mother Shipton...” Aziraphale rattled off as he balanced the stack of books in his arms. He shifted them before climbing higher up the ladder to nudge that book between two others, returning it to his rightful home. His glasses shifted down his face as he looked further down his list. “Robert Nixon?” he asked, quirking a brow. “Well, this certainly isn’t where you belong.”

Bouncing the books in his arms again, he glanced around the room, trying to figure out where exactly the Ns were organized. The archives weren’t anything to brag about though, or at least their genuine books and literature weren’t anyway. They had plenty of records, which hadn’t actually been of interest to him. Looking over his shoulder, he realized that the only place left for the Ns to be was directly behind him. He glanced at the distance between him and the other side and ultimately decided that if he stretched himself out just so that he could reach without having to climb down and move the ladder. 

Setting the rest of the stack that had been in his arms on top of the bookcase, he spread himself out across the aisle. The ladder creaked in protest. When that didn’t work, he lifted one foot off the rung. He gained a little more distance, but still not enough to actually reach. Then, all of a sudden, the ladder leaned away from the shelf. Aziraphale shouted in surprise. He dropped the book all together, hands flying forward to balance himself. He had to walk the ladder out toward the middle of the aisle, but he was still standing safely at the top. The only problem being then that it was a long way back down. “Come on, old boy,” he said to himself, carefully shuffling back to his original side. “Steady.... Steady....” 

Aziraphale leaned the ladder forward, but his eyes went wide as he realized immediately that the force of it would be too much. He tumbled into the bookcase, knocking the entire thing down, scattering books and papers and signs everywhere. He scrambled to his feet, forced to watch as the rest of the shelves dominoed down after the first, going around the arch of the room until the final shelf fell on top of the initial one that he had knocked over. He stood for a moment then, too stunned to do much else. 

“Oh, bother,” he murmured then, hearing someone rushing down the hall, probably to figure out what all of the commotion was about.

The curator, Dr. Metatron Jacobi, stepped into the room, having no choice but to go over one of the shelves on his way to him. “Hells bells, Aziraphale. What happened?”

Aziraphale covered his mouth briefly, eyes darting away before he folded his hands neatly and offered him a tight smile. “I um... I was shelving some things and...”

“And what?” he pressed. “I haven’t got all day.” Dr. Jacobi raised a brow, looking less than impressed. 

“I’m terribly sorry.” Aziraphale sunk down, ducking his head so that he didn’t have to look him in the eye. “I’ll clean all of this up. I promise.”

A thought hum and then a nod. “See to it that it gets done then. After all, I hired you to organize my shelves, not destroy them.”

He tucked his lips in for a moment before offering another smile. Aziraphale seemed to reach out and then pull his hand back in. “Um.. actually I believe you hired me on because you needed someone on your staff who could read and write in ancient Egyptian and decipher hieroglyphics...” 

“I hired you because your mother is our finest patron,” he corrected him. “Now, get this cleaned up, and don’t dawdle.” 

“Yes, sir...” Aziraphale murmured, watching him turn around and head back the way he’d come. 

He sighed then, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Aziraphale went to put them back on, knowing that he was going to be reading the titles of the books again after he righted the shelves, but he thought he heard some loud shifting from the back room where the museum stored some of its artifacts. 

[a-flappy-bat]

Have you ever checked out a game called Vampyr? There is a character in it called Dr. Swansea, and since you like Darling from Control, i think you might find him fun too

It’s on my long list of games I need to play. I’ll move it higher up the rung with this in mind. Watched a couple videos of Dr. Swansea, and yes yes YES. Morally gray, inquisitive (potentially vampire) science man with cute lil glasses. I definitely want to meet his character in game. Thanks for the suggestion 😊