#but romance is so weird for me because im into the idea but its also kind of terrifying

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???

you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"

[b4g3lbit3s]

guys i might have a girlfriend but i cant tell if she’s joking or not when we talk about dating

[arolesbianism]

I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again

[gii-1]

HEY SWEETIE!!!

How are you? I was thinking if you could write an jjk boys in Hollywood AU

jjk boys - hollywood au

ft. megumi, yuji, inumaki, yuta.

notes: im note sure what you fully meant by jjk boys so i just put all the ones from tokyo! hope you’re ok with that ( ・∇・) this was very hard for me to do so im kinda nervous if i did it right.

megumi ->

��� i find it hard to picture megumi as an actor, i feel like it would be difficult for him to become an actor so it would probably take him more time to get the hang of it.

• but when he does, and if he’s really passionate about it he would be able to be really good at acting.

• i can imagine him getting into a really awkward conversation with one of those fans that go crazy about their favourite actor that they become a borderline stalker.

• he’d be so incredibly unsettled by it

• like if you were to cut the atmosphere with a knife it would be very thick

• i also think he would be the type to be extremely honest and blunt with his words, especially in interviews. this would garner a lot of attention.

• going back to him interacting with his fans, he would definitely be same.

• if you give him one of the most sincere, loving compliments in the world watch him go wordless. he’d be so flabbergasted that someone even views him that highly. will definitely remember you.

yuji ->

• this guy is an absolute movie connoisseur

• i can with 100% certainty he could easily become a good actor

• he would definitely aim to star in movies that are horror, but i also feel like he’d enjoy starring in romance movies aswell

• he will definitely be able to emotionally get into the moment when preforming a scene

• he’s so polite its not even funny anymore

• he would be very open in a interview, like he would be open about his experiences and you would be able to get to know a lot about him

• i can imagine him being ecstatic when seeing his fans, would be so happy if you asked him for a photo, he’d definitely do one of those silly poses or just have a big smile on his face.

• even talking to his fans would be really happy for him, i can imagine him to be a very friendly guy when it comes to his fans

• if he had any of those weird fans he would still be very polite about it and still talk to them, but he’d express his discomfort some way or another.

• if he got gifts from his fans he would cherish them with his life, like they spent time thinking about him and even got him a gift out of their own kindness, he’d be honoured.

inumaki ->

• i see him as a man of few words, being able to convey scenes in his own style using actions which plays out really well. this would be a very good trait of his.

• i feel like you can tell which movies he stars in because of this

• he’d have a very unique way of performing and putting his own twist to it makes it a lot more different from what is traditionally done. this would make his acting very interesting.

• this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, quite the opposite actually.

• in interviews i feel he would be honest about his opinion on things which would very appealing to people

• but i feel like it would take him a lot of time to develop as an actor before he would find his style.

•i think he wouldn’t mind the idea of talking to his fans but he wouldn’t do it too much

• but when he does, i think he’d be very thankful about it, especially if he gets compliments.

yuta ->

• one thing i’ve noticed about him is the fact he’s a very selfless person, this ties into his acting as well.

• at first when it comes to acting he would have a lot of awkward moments but as he gets used to the flow of being an actor he’s is able to adapt quite easily.

• i see him as a very comforting person, so if his fans asked him advice or told him what they were going through he would definitely make sure they were heard, he would be extremely reassuring to them.

• i also think because of his personality you can clearly tell he’s a very respectful person, like he constantly shows this in interviews and interactions in fans, not even purposefully as a way to make his reputation better but because he’s just that type of person.

• i feel like if he somehow accidentally got himself into drama he would deal things with a lot maturity, he’d make sure theres no substantial arguments.

[on-leatheredwings]

i've found your account only a few days ago but ever since then I've been STUCK here rereading your fanfics, especially ones with damian. i wasn't even a dc fan (heard about some stuf, watched some films and cartoons, but that's it) but now im reading comics since im Obsessed and need more batboys in my life (rip my productivity😔)

Anyway, after Sleepover i'm curious what will Bruce (and maybe even Thalia) think of batboys strange behaviour towards reader. He's smart, so he definitely notices it early on, but how he'll react....

I can see him being weirded out (like he was by Jason's anger issues, before his death), but he also can be an enabler, since Robin (literaly any of them) had a hard life, so if those relationships can help him why not pretend that everything is normal? you'll be safer in a Wayne's Manor anyway

All in all, thanks for a new hyperfixation 💞💞

P.s. About games:

1. Boyfriend to death 1&2 - since you're into yanderes you might want to check this game out. I prefer the second game, but the first is also fun. But beware the trigger warnings!!

2. Long live the Queen - more of a raising sim than dating sim but you still can romance some guys and girls.

,3. Hatoful Boyfriend - mostly a comedy, but there is a yandere.

4. The Royal Trap - it's been a long time since i played it, but it used to be one of my favorites so i'll just mention it.

5. Higurashi - once again not really a romance sim, but its an interesting horror mixed with a slice of life

;A; AWWWW THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF.... THAT MAKES ONE OF US GIJSDOFAFGHFOJDSD

and yes yes get into DC!!! (girl who hasnt even read a full run since like. injustice)

damn now you got me thinking and excited. incoming spiel

i agree entirely about bruce just knowing how Bad things can get, so to make things simpler, he's like "yes, your darling(s) can stay in the manor, boys. 🙄"

mmm yes..... when it comes to bruce noticing the batboys are yandere, i think it's always sinfully delightful to just have him be reluctantly okay with it. 😈 it's also easier narratively ngl but i also like the idea that the batfam is all just corrupted.

bruce's thoughts are that they (his sons) fight for vengeance and justice but this is where they could use some leeway.... we all need our vice... they fight so hard for gotham, they deserve a little treat (getting rid of your human rights)... it's very "Dad who wants his sons to have happiness even if its not healthy" of him. in fics where bruce is a yandere, well, he's the exact same way so he can't judge. although if that's the case, i like the idea of bruce just being like "yes what we do isn't right. let's not talk about it. just don't kill <3"

still wondering what i like more. a yan!bruce who's self aware what he's doing is wrong but he just refuses to think about it. or a yan!bruce that justifies it all because of his paranoia, Tower of Babel style (if you don't know, that's when it's revealed batman has plans to subdue/kill the justice league just in case they go rogue.)

for the batboys depends on their personality... for damian, he's so resolute in things that i prefer when he just believes 100% what he's doing is okay, if not actually righteous. ^_^

hmmm talia.... I'M STILL UNSURE HOW I PREFER THAT AS WELL... i think talia being a you-arent-good-enough-for-my-son mom is a little cliche but also. she kinda would say that. you'd have to prove your worth somehow but idk how tf darling would do that LOL. in the end, i think talia is just relieved/comforted that her son indeed feels desire and wants love and will continue the family legacy (regardless if youre afab/can biologically have children.)

no THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! AND THANKS FOR RECS!!!! heheh yeah ive checked out btd and im not averse to the warnings its more like im not that most of into the designs ngl. fox guy seems cute? AND LMAO FUNNY BC IM ON A HIGURASHI REWATCH (never played it tho)

[lovelynim]

CONGRATS FOR THE 500!!!

For the event can i request 🌹 with lee!tighnari and ler!cyno? im such a sucker for them heheh

A jealous hound

Genshin Impact - Cyno x Tighnari

[500 Followers Milestone Event - "Romance"]

A/N: I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS ONE HEHEHE!! I mean, cahem, I do feel you, anon, because they're also one of my favorite pairings. I toyed a little with the theme, using an old HC of mine that was collecting dust for way too long and I hope it is okay and that you like it <3

Summary: There is something wrong with Cyno, but Tighnari can't find out what is it. Little did he know, he was the one making the general upset ~

Word count: 1473 words

Tighnari could tell that there was something wrong. He didn’t realize it sooner thanks to Kaveh and Alhaitham bickering with each other during their hangout, but there was definitely something off.

Cyno was usually the clingy type, especially when they were by themselves. However, after he had suddenly gone quiet during the meeting, he had only spoken if he was talked to, avoiding and ignoring any kind of interaction - even the ones from Tighnari.

That was weird, really weird, Tighnari thought as he made the way back to his house, always checking over his shoulder to see how the general following him was doing. Catching glimpses of a frown on Cyno’s face, the first hypothesis to pop on his mind was that, for some reason, he was annoyed. But why? They were meeting their friends, having fun, enjoying a meal together… what was there to be angry at?!

The second theory was that Alhaitham or Kaveh could have struck a nerve while teasing him, but as far as Tighnari could remember, Cyno’s fighting skills or obsession for TCG were not one of the topics that night. Even if they were, he would usually get angry for a few moments and brush it off seconds later. As unlikely as it was, it was too early to discard this idea yet.

Last, but not least, could it be Tighnari’s doing? Stopping in front of his house, the fennec thought about it for a minute. Did he end up ignoring one of his attempts to flirt with him in public? Maybe he was too harsh on him during the dinner? But he couldn’t recall saying anything that would make Cyno so upset and-

“Nari,” Cyno spoke in an uninterested tone, letting out a small sigh, “what’s wrong? Just open the door.”

“A-ah, right, my apologies…” The botanist said, quickly picking up the keys in his pockets. 

After turning the key around and pushing the door open, Tighnari was struck with another thought: why was he even nervous?! Feeling such a thing towards Cyno filled the fennec’s mind with nostalgia, memories of when they both were studying in the Akademiya and he used to see the general as that serious and cold-hearted guy. 

But that was in the past. And there was no need to fear talking to him directly. Right, after all, they were dating for a long time already. You got this, Tighnari, he told himself as he stepped inside his house, waiting for Cyno to do the same before gently closing the door.

Taking a deep breath, he clenched his hands into a fist. “Cyno, what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet all ni-” 

“Hah..?” The general sighed, the annoyance clear in his voice. Tighnari froze on the spot, feeling a shiver run down his spine. He could feel Cyno’s glare piercing through his body as if he was next in the line to face the judgment of the Gods. “‘What’s wrong’, Nari? Would you like to make a guess?”

Slowly walking forward, as a hound circling its prey, Cyno decreased the distance between him and his partner. Tighnari’s tail curled and trembled behind him as he stepped back, clearly not expecting this outcome after his question.

“A-ahm…  because you… lost a round of T-TCG?”

“Wrong,” Cyno muttered, trapping Tighnari against the door they had just walked through. The general slammed his hand on the wooden surface, making the fennec gasp in surprise. “It’s because of you.”

“M-Me?! B-but I didn’t-” before he could finish, Cyno held out a finger in front of his lips, stopping him in the middle of his words.

“Shh… I’m not done talking, Nari,” the general lowered his hands, sliding them down the other’s shoulders, all the way down to his wrists. Tighnari could feel the firm grip, but decided to only watch as Cyno pinned his hands against the  wooden surface behind him. “You think I’d just sit and do nothing about it, huh?”

The botanist shuddered, scrunching up his shoulders as he pressed his eyes close. Cyno was speaking merely inches away from his face, treating him like some kind of criminal and, yet, he couldn’t find out what he did to make his partner so angry at him.

“What are you tal- ahm, I mean… what did I do, Cyno?” He replied sheepishly, scared to enrage the general even more.

The other clicked his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. “You think this is funny, right?”

“N-no, I jus-”

“Just like you thought Kaveh’s jokes were funny.”

“...what?”

Changing his grip, Cyno managed to pin both of his partner’s wrists with one hand, keeping them out of the scene as he furrowed his brows. “You ignore and scold me when I tell them, but you go around laughing at others’ jokes… you are the worst sometimes, you know that?”

Tighnari blinked a few times, trying to process the whole thing. Was he for real?

“You… are jealous becaHAH- C-CynohOH!” Before he could talk back to the general, a whole set of fingers dug into his ribs, flooding his brain with the ticklish feeling that ran across his body as electric shocks. “W-wahAHAit!! AhAHAH, nahAHAhah!!”

“No, I’m not jealous, Nari. I’m angry at how… inconsiderate you were with my feelings,” Cyno muttered, his voice still full of annoyance as he tweaked his fingers against Tighnari’s body, going up to his underarms and then all the way down to his waist, only to start over again.

“I-I wahAHAh- plehHEHeahAhase!!” The fennec begged, letting out a high-pitched squeal. His hands trembled and his knees were about to give in as he convulsed with laughter, desperately trying to escape the wrath of his jealous boyfriend. “I-I didn’t mehehEHEhean to! It caHAhaught me o-ohOHOff guard!!”

The general remained silent, using his free hand to look for any other sensitive spot to exploit as he continued to deliver his “punishment”. Deciding to let out a little more steam to ease his annoyance, Cyno curled his fingers and used his nails to scratch at Tighnari’s sides like a kitten sharpening its claws. 

“You naughty fox… do you think you go around, laughing at other men’s jokes like that, hm?” The general whispered into one of his ears, letting the warm air do the job as his hands continued to work restlessly.

If the tickling wasn’t enough to make Tighnari blush, those words surely did the job. His ears twitched with each word spoken, sending an awful shiver down his back. It was the kind of thing that would make his heart melt, that, of course, if it wasn’t for the merciless tickling assaulting his torso.

“A-ahAHah, p-plehehase!” Tighnari gasped, gritting his teeth in a crooked smile as he tried to resist the tickling, sucking his stomach in and leaning his body away as much as he could to avoid Cyno’s fingers. “I-i’m sohOHOhorry, o-okahahay?!”

“No,” Cyno whispered calmly, letting out a small chuckle before planting a gentle kiss on Tighnari’s ear, “it’s not okay, Na-ri ~”

Sneaking his hand through the layers of cloth covering his partner, Cyno finally managed to touch Tighnari’s skin. Just like he expected, that simple doing was enough to evoke a new level of reactions from his partner, amusing himself with how easy it was to fill the room with the fennec’s laughter.

Literally laughing his head off, the forest watcher squirmed as much as he could inside Cyno’s hold. “I-it’s too muhuhuch!! CynoHOHoh!! I cahAHAhan’t anymohOHOre!!” He continued to squeal in mirth, unable to resist the touch of Cyno’s fingers against his bare middle.

“Now, I just want to remind you, Nari,” he continued to whisper, not even sure if his voice could be heard through all that laughter, “you are my boyfriend, which means I am the only one who gets to hear you laughing like this. Got it?”

“Y-YEHehehes! A-AhaAHAHarchons, j-just stoHOHOp!!”

Hearing the words he wanted to and sensing Tighnari was reaching his limit, Cyno smiled, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek as he moved his hand away. Still holding his wrists together, the general gently pushed a few strands of hair away from Tighnari’s blushing face, smiling at him. “Good thing you are a quick learner, Nari ~”

“S-shut up, you big lummox,” Tighnari hissed, making Cyno giggle as he managed to shake his hands free from his grip. “Aren’t you a little too old to be having jealousy attacks?”

“I was not jealous,” Cyno insisted as Tighnari walked past him, now taking his turn to act upset at his partner, “I just don’t like to share my Nari, that’s all…” He muttered, just loud enough so Tighnari could hear him, making the forest watcher’s tail wag as soon as those words reached him. The general smiled.

“You are the worst sometimes,” Tighnari snapped, but Cyno only laughed at his comment.

“Love you too, Nari.”

[ellilyre]

I finished ToA not long ago and I wanted to write down some thoughts/scenes that stick with me

(in chronological (ish) order, watch out for spoilers)

Theres an italian girl at camp ! It means Nico gets to practice and speak italian ! (which probably haven't happened in about 70 years)

Will introducing Nico as "my boyfriend". I already knew they would be canon, but reading that line felt weird /pos

Apollo sees Solangelo and think of himself and Hyacinth

That night when Kayla and Austin disappeared and Apollo left to look for them, it probably was the first night Will ever spent alone in his cabin

Apollo's insane body dysmorphia. He's a god, he can always take the physical form he is the most comfortable and confident in... Until now. He is stuck in a body that isn't his, he feels ashamed, when he sees certain traits in others he find them charming or pretty, but when it's on him then it's disgusting. He complain that everything is this body's fault (ex. he wouldn't have been touched by the Eurynomos if it wasn't for his chub.)(I could go on for hours)

Lityerses ! I love that guy. Idk why i love him that much. He is my best guy.

Apollo's reaction to Commodus' name. His flashback of him. So painful he was physically sick.

Apollo talking Helios out of killing them, because he just want to be free, not to hurt them.

APOLLO ATTEMPT TO KHS TO STOP THEM ?? IM A SUCKER FOR SOME GOOD PAINFUL SELF SACRIFICE.

Jason. I'm not talking about Jason. I can't speak about Jason.

Frank and Apollo ! They are so fond of each other !!!

Apollo heard all of Frank's prayers when he was unclaimed and wished he could've adopted him.

And Frank respecting Apollo as a god although he is *vaguely gesture at Apollo/Lester*

Reyna saying aloud that she doesn't want nor needs romance. It's so rare to see aromantic representation and Rick did it so well.

Literally Apollo singing his way out of situations.

FRANK'S SELF SACRIFICE!!! (He already had one of my favorite character development before that)

APOLLO KILLING COMMODUS ??? why do never talk about that it's one of the best deaths I've ever seen that was BADASS AND FULL OF EMOTIONS.

Apollo slowly dying out of poison and the Dodona Arrow doing everything it can to keep him conscious.

I hope Dakota didn't get killed off just to give Lavinia the role of Centurion. I love my boy Dakota, and his death felt kind of meaningless, except for her rank up :/ also i feel like it doesn't suit Lavinia. Some ppl are strong and good and trustable but just not made to order others. (ill prop make a full post about that)

Dionysos confirmed to be an annoying little brother!

Nico. How does Rick manage to always give him more issues. Leave the kid alone.

When Will glows, Apollo is genuinely impressed and tells him how proud he is.

Nico destroying Nero's door with his giant zombie bull. That was cool.

When Apollo gets stabbed in Nero's tower and think it's the end, he prays "Zeus, Artemis, Leto, anyone"

And in general the few parts he talks about Leto, he's such a momma's boy and I love it.

When Apollo left for Delphi... I was fully expecting Meg to go with him. I was so worried that he went alone while already feeling that weakened from the previous events.

DODONA ARROW. FOREVER IN MY HEART.

Artemis is here when Apollo wakes up. She's by his side, she's the first person to tell him he succeeded, she hold him while he sobs...

The first thing he does is to greet his horses :) and then to see his friends.

When he gets back to the Dodona bush ! To tell them all how brave and heroic the Arrow have been !

I could spend hours talking about the character developments of Apollo, Meg and the Dodona Arrow (i love the arrow so much you have no idea) but its for another day

There's many things I didn't talk about, but the post is already long enough. I love those 5 books, and Apollo is an amazing narrator.

I love the Arrow of Dodona with all my heart.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Are request still open? Can I have Reader x Caine Jax Ragatha and Kinger with a Reader thats a Centipede? Like Upper body is humanoid but Lower body is Bug?

Caine, Jax, Ragatha, and Kinger x centipede!reader !

requests are still open! theyve just been slow and the ones that have been sent in i had to delete due to them blatantly(?) rules ive repeated loads of time (mostly NSFW) </3 hope you like this anon! couldnt think of many romantic ideas for ragatha unfortunately </3

CAINE:

he thinks you look cool! probably tries to count how many legs you have to see if youre truly a centipede, more so does this for display rather than actual curiosity though... i think if you have any cool colors or patterns on your bug bits he might change his suit to match with you! probably makes you climb along walls in order to come get him... in fact i can easily see him making IHAs that utilize your climbing ability! legitmately gets mesmerized when he watches you walk because of all your legs just. smoothly... moving. yeah moving! if you have antennae i think he would lightly inquire about them and if they actually function... probably gives you bug based nicknames !

RAGATHA:

writing ragathas piece first but i think it should be obvious that in the beginning she would be a little put off by you for... reasons.. dont get me wrong i think she would feel bad for avoiding you... i mean shes still kind and polite to you when you guys do interact. i think overtime she either gets used to you or you bluntly ask her if she doesnt like you.. which may or may not make her feel even more guilty for her avoidance...

as for actual relationship stuff? simply because of ragathas fear of centipedes it would take her a while to warm up to you, and even longer for a relationship to blossom. usually for characters with long bodies, id propose cuddles where they wrap themselves around their partner... but i think that would genuinely make ragatha panic.. not many ideas here for romance since your form is a constant reminder of her phobia; even if its not your fault

JAX:

another one that give you bug based nicknames but the way in which he says them has a mix of... mischief...? teasing...? something like that, whereas with caine he mostly says it with full adoration. jax... isnt much of a lovey dovey person.. probably messes with your antennae by poking them... kind of smirks if they involuntarily move away from his hand/finger. sits and does that for as long as you two are sitting next to one another; pulls the "im not touching you" thing if you (light heartedly) ask him to stop. imagine you were already in the circus when the pilot occurs and when jax brings up the centipedes he was referring to you... implies youre locked in ragathas room during the pilot oblivious to everything going on/j idk this was funnier in my head.. probably uses you as a running gag for that with ragathas whole... centipede thing

KINGER:

also counts your legs but actually does it for curiosity probably really impressed if you actually have the appropriate number of legs for a centipede! probably tries to figure out what kind you are if you mirror a real world species! ...would it be weird to ask you to go look for bugs with him..? probably awkwardly pets/rubs the top of your head between your antennae, probably lets out an airy chuckle if they flick from his action.. oh please please wrap your body around him when you guys cuddle...! it makes him feel so secure when you do that, plus the added weight around/on him helps him wind down after a chaotic day in the circus! weighted blanket but its your partner, how sweet

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[radios-universe]

how come you like heartstopper and not romance? is it that you like the idea of romance but not the real thing? did you say romance as in you just don't like being involved in it yourself?

i have no idea what post this might be referring to or maybe just in general but i probably have talked about this so here we go!

fun ask to get tbh i Do talk about this a lot

short answer: you’re right, i enjoy consuming romance media (especially queer media) because i love the idea of romance…. however, when i personally have gotten too close to it in the past, i just freak out.

no matter how much i think i want it, my brain and my body just shut down when i get too close… and then the aftermath of that can feel pretty shit! bc usually i’m just annoyed at myself in some weird way, as if i didn’t just experience the same thing as i did last time, and the time before….

LONGER answer:

in terms of heartstopper, of course there are aro/ace characters represented (i mean, come on, duh, even alice themself) but we all know it’s a very romance centric show/comic

i’ve never been able to define if it’s just… a sense of identity within the characters or just generally being happy for them or…. a whole mix of emotions but!

seeing characters im emotionally attached and invested in get together and be happy is like!!!! drugs!!! idk!!!! and probably the closest thing i’ll get to experiencing that with… another person which seems like a very odd thing to say!!!

but that kind of excitement is something i guess i could never feel with a relationship of my own so… living vicariously through characters like the ones in heartstopper actually really helps me with aromanticism? it’s odd! and that def doesn’t go for everyone but it’s at least what happens for me

to expand on the queer media comment too, i’ll consume queer media that even might not represent aro/ace people at all! and still feel that same fulfilment!

if you take a story about a character realising they’re gay, people will focus on them realising they feel attraction for the same sex. i mean, that’s what it is at face value.

but an equally important part of the representation for gay characters is the realisation that they are not attracted to the opposite sex. and THAT i can relate to.

when representation for aro/ace people is this sparse, you get pretty used to finding representation in people you don’t really expect to. and that’s also what heartstopper does for me, while it fulfils my desire for romance through me living vicariously, it also represents me, not just in its aro/ace characters, but in every queer journey! because there’s always a sneaky hint of aro/ace representation anywhere as long as we can do something about it! hah

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

i wanted to talk about my relationship with my sexual/romantic orientation (aspec), so i guess im sharing my expierence (cw i talk a lot about sex)

so im asexual, i dont think i feel sexual attraction at all. however i was looking into microlabels (i prefer only using the label asexual but i wanted to know if there was a microlabel that fitted my expierence better, even if i didnt planned on using them), i did not find one that fit me. i dont want to have sex. however i masturbate (when i ovulate/have a lot of pain, i have chronic pain and masturbation is a natural pain reliever, i actually found about that in tumblr from another asexual with chronic pain and it help me a lot when meds werent working), so i was thinking maybe i fit the aegosexual label, but from what i hear, in the "fantasies" you dont think about yourself doing it. i do picture myself doing it but not bc i want to? like, i picture myself having sex but in the """fantasy""" i dont enjoy said sex but i do it anyway. is that weird? i think its because i know i will never enjoy sex if i have it and i cant think of other people having sex bc it feels weird? intrusive? sexualizing them? (even if they are fictional character)

and like, i like to do this, but i cannot read smut or watch people naked in movies, or not even naked, but you know when they make you think ina movie/show two people are having sex but they never show it show it, only the socially acceptable and the rest is cover by a blanket/camara tricks. i cannot watch that. which i find rather weird cause i have no problem with sexual fantasies about me but i cannot handle actually seeing sexual content

i always see the labels, sex repulsed, sex neutral and sex positive and i have no idea which of them i am bc i fit in none of them

also, i have no idea how to differentiate aesthetic attraction from gender envy (im in a gender crisis)

also, i dont know if i want a relationship bc im romance positive or if i want a relationship bc of amanormativity

bc i have romantic fantasies, but most of them are other people reaction to the relationship, which makes me think im not actually fantasing about a romantic relationship, im fantasing about fitting society rules. however, i do enjoy a lot those scenarios.

also, i think dating would be fun? like, going on dates, cuddling, holding hands, sharing talks at 3am, but i can do those same things with my best friend, but it doesnt feel like the same cause I know one he will find a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a partner and it will be over (plus, i wont cuddle with him, it would be weird, but like a different person). maybe a queerplatonic relationship is what i want?

i want to cuddle. i love that.cuddling with femenine-built bodies is different than masculine-built bodies. i dont know if that was the right way to say it. i want to cuddle with both depending on the mood.

and thats kinda my view of romance. i want a partner to cuddle. thats it.

sorry for all the vent, i wanted to see if i was the only one or share or something like that, i dont know, thanks for bothering to read

hey anon, that sounds rough. if you need advice do ask, i dont want to give some without permission as i prefer to let people vent.

[nerves-nebula]

Do you have any loveless/heartless characters? I think they're real neat <3

this post got superrr long lol. im avoiding my homework <3

so this is a complicated ask for me because my definition of "love" is intentionally different from a lot of more mainstream conceptions of it. love isn't a feeling to me, it's something you DO for people you care about, right? you make someone feel loved by doing things that show you care. you putting in that effort and correcting your behavior for their sake is love.

so in that way i don't consider any of my characters loveless. because to me Love is something you chose to do so nobody can really be loveless inherently, they're just choosing not to act loving towards someone.

HOWEVER, from what i've gleamed from a quick google search about loveless aros, it doesn't necessarily seem that being loveless is exclusive to my definition of love?

like, i'm seeing loveless aros talk about not having those kinds of feelings or doubting/opting out of western ideas of love that don't fit them. some talk about not forming that kind of "deep emotional bond" though I'm confused if they mean like.. in general, or just romantically. cuz i've never had a deep romantic bond but i've never really considered that an indictment of Love Itself so much as a type of love that I'm just not a part of.

some people are describing it as specifically romantic love that they know they can't feel. but then again some people are just using it to mean they reject "love" as a label for their emotions/experiences, so like. idk.

it feels like im on the exact same page as a lot of these people it's just that their conclusion was to throw out the word love and mine was to not accept the premise that romantic love is the highest or most important kind of love and focus on, like, other forms of love that are important to me. like my siblings and friends.

soooo i can't say any of them are loveless for sure, cuz i don't identify that way and i'm not sure i grok it yet.

HOWEVER,

I do have aromantic characters, if that's what you mean. though a lot of them are in weird psychosexual situations with each other (just cuz i dont wanna have sex doesnt mean its not fun for my characters to), though there's one or two healthy QPRs thrown in there.

tbh my understanding (or lack thereof) of romance seeps into all of my characters so even the ones who are supposedly in love are doing it with hints of aromanticism cuz like. i dont care what a crush is, yknow? there's only so far romantic tropes can take me before i tap out and just do my own thing.

but as for like canonically aro characters i've got Hondo & quinn, dotty, toasty, Thomas (you guys don't know Thomas yet lol she's a peach), Ezra and Pet (pet is a weird monster tho and Ezra is sort of dead so idk if that counts), Misha Mistaka, Pasiflora, and probably my new one, Benbeck.

I also consider Groe aroace but that's like, a whole thing. cuz Groe is mostly known for having been married to Maureno (one of my characters i explicitly consider allosexual, if not alloromantic) and their relationship takes front and center at every point sfsdf.

because even when i dont see it as romantic i LOVE to make characters lives intertwined and dependent on each other. due to my own personal issues. to be honest i dont think groe and maureno are "in love" i just think they're inextricable dependent on each other. i think their "romance" is an inherently aromantic one because it's not about romantic feelings its about their friendship and trust, which includes kissing and sex sometimes but isn't diminished when they don't do those things.

I don't think Groe feels romantic feelings but i get that two characters who ostensibly have their weird fucked up "romance" be the core thing going on in their life isn't exactly the aromantic rep that ppl are looking for. i mean, it is for ME, but not for everyone.

i guess im just not Good Aro rep tho, cuz im not interested in romance but i AM interested in finding a person who i know I can depend on for everything and share my life with, yknow? i want someone who i know will always be on my side.

and that looks the same to a lot of poeple as romance but the experience of it was way different. cuz i can be with them forever and never want to do more than kiss their forehead as a sign of affection and that'd be great for me, while i KNOW that's unthinkable for a lot of people.

but when writing my characters it's hard to really portray that internal difference. so i think ppl just assume it's romance, and like, that's fine i guess?

so like, groe and maureno fuck cuz it's fun and cuz they have unresolved issues but it's not crucial or even really important to their relationship- to the point that they care WAY more about who each other is hanging out with than who each other is having sex with.

but now i'm rambling about asexuality and stuff.. uhhh the point is YES i have aromantic characters NO I dont know if they're "loveless"

but if a character isn't aromantic or at least aspec that's probably cuz i made a concerted effort to think of them as such.

[blackgumball]

okay weird pull but you know how people say that taylor swift is so popular because her work is so bland. she’s uninterested in making any sort of statement or breaking any sort of mould, so her work is so palatable and widely relatable that it becomes so popular among so many people? (real quick psa im a tswift hater so i dont listen to her music, this is a recycled opinion from a more educated hater than me)

i am beginning to feel a similar way about bridgerton. its premise relies on the idea of a diverse regency england, but it becomes clearer and clearer to me every day that the show is meant for white people. all the bridgertons are white, so every love story will either be swirl or just a white relationship (shoutout to polin ig). not saying that poc dont enjoy the show (we obviously do) but there’s this vocal white audience that keeps harassing actors of colour whenever a decision is made that they dont like. or that strays from the books (which is soooo insane literally the moment they cast rege jean page your dumb cracker asses shouldve realised that the show wasnt gonna care about being book accurate ESPECIALLY since julia quinn basically said out loud that every character in her books would be racist.)

and the show Clearly isn’t interested in pushing any boundaries. look at fucking cressida cowper. given, i have no idea whether her character is going to return to the show, but the way they handled her was so muddled and fucked up that i wondered why they even bothered? they bring her in, humanise her, and then cart her off with this terrible fate. why? if anything, it made eloise and colin far less likeable (eloise, because it seemed like she didnt care about the fate of the only person who treated her with respect after she was “ruined”, and colin, because it made him seem shortsighted, naïve, self centred, and pitifully stupid). i complain because i think eloise is right. the women in this period were stifled. they were not able to study as extensively as their brothers, not able to travel by themselves, kept from sex education into their adulthood, and married off to random men (sometimes against their will, as it was for danbury, charlotte, almost cressida, and arguably daphne). you set such a sexual show in a deeply unsexy time. there’s romance in cressida escaping, being cunning and able to run. it also would’ve made the show more DRAMATIC. it straight up doesnt make sense for cressida to learn whistledown’s identity and not go immediately to the queen. why not have her escape, and let the bridgertons deal with the consequences? i don’t know. they seemed to take the stupid way out.

and then there’s the lower classes, who we rarely see outside of the women bridgerton men fuck with no/low commitment, paperboys, and printers. i’ve said before how i think it’s hideous that the lives of these women aren’t explored outside of their role as sex objects. season one at least explored the tension between anthony and sienna, who he loved but couldn’t commit to (im very glad she got out of there. im glad she respected herself enough to cut ties w him). also in season one, we see how the servants of the bridgerton house played a role in saving daphne from marrying that gross dude, but it feels like that role has vanished from subsequent seasons. maybe they know that seeing how none of the lords and ladies and other rich pricks of mayfair can’t fend for themselves is a turn off for the modern person (remember when anthony and daphne couldn’t use a stove in s1? i got the ick bad). but by ignoring this massive demographic, the show proves its disinterest in exploring the pitfalls and prejudices of the society it is set in.

its a show where women who want to escape their circumstances are villainised for their attempts and where the lives of the poor are either ignored or used to threaten the privileged. you occasionally have a sienna or a theo, but through knowing them, we are never left with the sense that society should change. they may try that next season. i know benedict is supposed to fall in love with A Poor.

i want the show to be good. i want the show to be interesting. i want all the fans who think that it can’t be good unless it’s explicitly relatable to straight white women to get over themselves (or at least go back to tswift and tsitp). i want to watch the show and not feel as though all the female characters are trapped. i want to LIKE ELOISE. some things i dislike about the show are impossible to change, but i guess i just have to hope it can be better. actually start pushing against the constraints of the genre, why not? you’re already one of the most popular shows on TV, you can risk making good television.

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

bury's tips to ACTUALLY combat writer's block

a lot of the time when you hear writers talk about writers block and what you can do to fight it, the advice that you hear is 'just write'

i took this to be true for a long time, and it's not the worst advice or whatever. at the end of the day anything you want to get done w writing does need to be solved by simply writing. but it took me until i was writing much more regularly to realize that actually thats nonsense

there are totally things you can do to help w writers block! ive been experiencing a bout of it recently, so i thought id share some tips partially to help out those who might read this, and partially to help myself out of that same slump

FEEDING THE MACHINE. in my experience, a lot of the time writers block is less of a blockage getting in the way of a flow of creativity and more like a machine running out of fuel. thoughts, ideas, and emotions CAN come from nowhere, but... usually they are coming from somewhere! i get my worst writers block when i am bored, under-stimulated, or stuck in my real life. try getting out into the world and doing something you don't usually do. this can be wild and exciting, or small and plain. take a different route home than usual, go for a drive somewhere cool, take yourself to a garden, bookstore, museum. if you're stuck at home try a new hobby; draw a weird picture, bake something, bird watch. this is really my top advice for myself at least, and something i have to remind myself when im despairing my own worth and dedication as a writer. you cant pour from an empty cup! you cant make something out of nothing! theres no point scraping yourself dry without trying to fill yourself back up.

FEEDING THE MACHINE... DIFFERENTLY. same principal applies here, but with what stories you are consuming. what actually got me to start writing and posting fic regularly was starting work in publishing that meant i was reading 1-2 books/manuscripts every day. they were often outside my usual reading genres, and sometimes i genuinely hated them... but they were food for the machine. the brain doesn't care if you like books about cows, the brain cares about variety and expanding its horizons. read something new and interesting! try a classic. try getting into queer classics you've never heard of if you're tired of old white men. read a murder mystery or a biography of a cool person or the history of the romance novel or frued's melancholia. try that new fantasy novel youve heard good things about. even if you only end up reading three chapters, thats still something new youre giving your brain. documentaries are also great for this if you're not feeling a new book; sit back and learn something.

CLEAN UP YOUR ENCLOSURE. humans feel yucky when we're in a yucky environment. cleaning is often exhausting and annoying and it sucks, but so is sitting in an environment that makes you feel bad. try clearing off your desk or table. set something nice you like nearby! choose a sunny spot to work in.

TALK YOUR IDEAS OUT. i really struggle with this one, because i dont like bothering people and im really embarrassed about my ideas, especially in the planning stage. it can really help though! try talking to yourself in the shower like you're being interviewed about your work. try going on some chat site, find a stranger to talk to, and infodump until they leave (or stay and you've made a new friend!). ask around for someone who wants to chat ideas; you can share yours, they can share theirs. if you have a loved one who would listen, ask if they would sit down for 45 minutes and let you talk.

LIMIT DISTRACTIONS. this one also sucks but yknow. turn on forest: stay focused. close discord. ask your dog politely to stop barking. get off tumblr and stop writing advice posts about writers block. turn on some ambient music and rain noises or chappell roan's red wine supernova on loop.

may add to this later as i think of others, but the point here is that writer's block isn't laziness and, even if you do in the end just need to write, there are ways to uplift yourself and make doing so more pleasant. these also dont fully apply to what i think the actual cause is of what we often call 'writer's block,' which is just exhaustion and lack of free time; i wouldn't consider that in itself writer's block. these tips are more for when you have that time, or you're making it, but you just cant seem to make it happen.

[utterdrip]

if it helps. i am also in the “astarion falls for high approval tav sometime around his little treat scene even if he’s not entirely sure what this fondness is quite yet” camp with u at least. people in the astarion tag scare me too much to ever say this on main though. that blorbo take seems to be catnip for people rolling into the replies to say he’d never fall during act 1 even though it’s true of every other companion including lae’zel and minthara, yet no one says anything about them 🤔

HELLO FRIEND 🤝🤝🤝

and welcome yes i used to be firmly in that camp as well!! and honestly mainly because i kept reading Those opinions about him before i really was able to,, mmm commit these hours of playtime myself and sorta experiencing all the different ways this game can play out because like

so i try to see all dialogue trees and even if i do the same things in my playthroughs i will do them in a different order and the game is so different every time, right? what im saying is i had that opinion before i spent all this time exploring early game relationship with him myself,,, does that make sense

BUT YES FRIENDO ! i am glad u were able to share with me at least and tbh i have a video idea for this to Spread My Truth (astarion cares more for the player character in early game more than he himself realizes and many players realize Agenda)

i think people get stuck on “didn’t care for you when we first met” but think that acts i & ii are… short? when they’re not?¿ it also feels weird bc his act ii confession scene, both ways (post araj or orthon) he admits that he initially didnt like the player character but then He Does and its like

sorry this is rambling but i really do not get it friendo like he plainly says “i seduced u bc it was easy but now i feel like an idiot because i have real feelings for you” and ppl are like “astarion doesnt even care abt pc until act iii let alone love them”

are we playing the same game are we romancing the same dude

EDIT: OBVIOUSLY EVERYTHING IS ALL UP FOR INTERPRETATION BUT IM JUST SAYING A lot OF OPINIONS ON HERE ARE LINE OBVIOUSLY I AM RIGHT ASTARION FEELS NOTHING EVER FOR PC UNTIL AFTER CAZADOR AND I THINK THERE IS MORE NUANCE

WHATEVER I DONT HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF IM HERE TO SPREAD MY “astarion is stupid in love with the player by the end of act i early act ii” AGENDA