#but riker keeps saying shit like

[apfelhalm]

idc if the majority of the fandom says otherwise but Riker wants to fuck that old man

[croc-odette]

I just think it’s wild this is the quarkfucker and garakfriend website but Pulaski has been on 30 years of discourse red alert

[meilas]

Socks’ Star Trek must-watch list

Socks’ list of must-watch Trek episodes

OG Trek

Welcome to the NCC-1701 starship, known as the Enterprise. The captain and crew follow rules when the plot says so, the captain is often on away missions with his top-ranked crew members leaving some unqualified guy in charge, and the captain gets to snog a lot of ladies. Like, a lot. Seriously. This series features lots of questionable fashion choices, including men’s heeled boots and miniskirts. 

Space Seed - our introduction to Khan Noonien Singh, played by Ricardo Montalban. Khan is the villain of the second Trek movie Wrath of Khan which is why this episode is on the list.

Taste of Armageddon - Do you remember the game Battleship? Two planets wage a war against each other. There is staggering loss of life, but no destruction. The Lottery in Space.

Mirror, Mirror - obligatory parallel universe episode! This parallel universe shows up later in Deep Space Nine which is why it is on this list.

Trouble With Tribbles - Clue in Space. Just a fun episode. Also shows up in Deep Space Nine!

A Piece of the Action - another fun episode. And the reason I don’t know if the proper expression is concrete galoshes or cement overshoes.

Let That Be Your Last Battlefield - two individuals who are the very last members of their races who were at war are still trying to kill each other. This episode was about racism and it is not subtle about it at all.

Next Generation

Welcome to the NCC-1701D, also known as the Enterprise! Not the Enterprise from the original series, but a younger, more advanced starship that is the successor to the Enterprise name. And since the Enterprise and trouble go so well together, the crew of this Enterprise find lots of adventures to keep them busy as they explore strange new worlds and seek out new civilisations.

Encounter at Farpoint - The very first episode. Not great, but it also serves as an introduction to Q, who will show up several times throughout the series. So that I don’t fill up this whole post, just go ahead and watch every Q episode (which will 99% of the time have Q in the title.)

Measure of a Man - Data is put on trial to determine if he is property or his own person, and Riker is forced to testify against him for plot reasons. This episode explores individuality and friendship.

Q Who - I said I wouldn’t fill this up and I won’t, but this episode is special because it introduces the Borg. There’s also a great moment between Picard and Q toward the end.

The Survivors - An elderly couple are the last survivors on a planet. Hard to explain why I like this episode without giving away the whole plot.

Sarek - This episode can be pretty sad as it deals with dementia and what it can do to people.

Menage a Troi - Any episode with Deanna’s mother, Lwaxana, is always a funny one. (Except the one that is sad, more on that later.) This episode is excellent because we get to hear Sir Patrick Stewart recite Shakespeare in the most over-the-top delivery possible.

Best of Both Worlds, parts one and two - THE CLIFFHANGER TO END ALL CLIFFHANGERS HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE HAS ALL THE DRAMA

Family - A follow-up to Best of Both Worlds. Deals with family that is gone, family that can be A Bit Much, and family that is estranged.

Suddenly Human - This episode is similar to the Deep Space Nine episode Cardassians: a boy who has been adopted by others is discovered and found to have living family who want him back. Which family is the child supposed to stay with?

Darmok - An episode all about language and how ideas are communicated. Yes it has some flaws, but overall it is interesting from a linguistic point of view. By the end of the episode, you will understand how darmok=memes and inside jokes.

The First Duty - A good Wesley episode. This explores truth, loyalty, and doing what is right.

I, Borg - The Enterprise rescues a Borg teenager, who begins to develop individuality. He is named Hugh. Hugh is adorable.

The Inner Light - THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER. IF THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING ON THIS LIST THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING PLEASE AT LEAST WATCH THIS.

Rascals - Picard and a few other randos (no seriously why is this bunch of people even on a shuttle together?) experience a transporter malfunction and are beamed aboard the Enterprise, except they materialise as pre-teen children! This episode is just pure fun. Contains: bby!Picard throwing a tantrum, and bby!Guinan jumping on the bed.

*Frame of Mind - This is a pretty heavy episode that deals with hallucinations. Riker is supposed to be performing in a play, but suddenly he’s in an alien mental institution and accused of murder. Riker repeatedly flashes between being on the Enterprise and being in the institution and he increasingly cannot tell which is real.

*Technically, this episode does not contain gaslighting even though it will seem like it. Please make sure you are in a good place if you decide to watch this episode.

**Dark Page - Lwaxana Troi is back! But something is up with her.

**I can’t explain why this is a serious episode without giving it away, so here it is: this episode deals with child death.

Deep Space Nine

By far my absolute favourite series, and the only one I have seen every episode of. Deep Space Nine is about a Cardassian space station that is now occupied by joint Federation and Bajoran forces. Deep Space Nine just so happens to be situated right by a stable wormhole that goes to another quadrant of space that would take years and years and years to travel to by starship alone. Naturally, everyone wants to be in control of the wormhole. The closest planet, Bajor, was until recently occupied by Cardassians. (Think of Cardassians as Space Russians.) The Bajorans are deeply spiritual people (literally every fucking Bajoran subscribes to the same religion) and they believe that their gods reside in the wormhole. (THEY ARE WORMHOLE ALIENS FFS AND THEY DON’T CARE ONE BIT ABOUT BAJOR OR CARDASSIA OR THE FEDERATION.) Because this series is set on a space station that does not go anywhere, we get to see that actions have consequences. If Next Generation was the fuck around series, this one is the find out series.

Emissary - A two-parter and our introduction to Deep Space Nine and the majority of the major characters in this show. 

Past Prologue - This episode is important because we meet Garak, a tailor and the only Cardassian still living on the station. What could he possibly be doing here?

Duet - A Cardassian arrives at the station, as they often do, but this one seems to be hiding something. This explores topics of colonialism, genocide, terrorism, and how complicated people really are. This was one of the episodes that made me watch the entirety of DS9. (The other was Take Me Out to the Holosuite.)

Cardassians - Another Garak episode. This one has a similar plot to the Next Generation episode Suddenly Human. Garak and Bashir discover a Cardassian boy is the adopted son of a Bajoran man. But since Bajorans and Cardassians kind of hate each other because Cardassions tried to colonize Bajor, there is a concern that the Cardassian boy is being abused by his adopted father. To make matters worse, Gul Dukat gets involved. (Gul Dukat is played by a native Wisconsinite!)

Shadowplay - Kind of similar to the Next Generation episode Survivors.

The Wire - Garak episode! This episode deals with the topic of addiction and friendship.

Second Skin - Kira might actually be an undercover Cardassian agent?!?

Crossover - Welcome back to the mirror universe, which we haven't seen since the OG series. Here we find out what happened after Kirk left that universe. Told you this was the 'find out' series.

Fascination - A fun Lwaxana episode

Past Tense, parts one and two - Time travel episode! This episode takes place August 30-September 1, 2024. The Bell Riots occurred in San Francisco, and were a turning point in earth history. These are pretty heavy episodes, and they deal with things that still resonate today: poverty, racism, classism, homelessness.

The Visitor - Similar vibes to The Inner Light. Sisko jumps through time at increasing intervals. Meanwhile, Jake lives his life with his father literally popping into existance for a short time only. Jake is older every time. Sisko is not.

Trials and Tribble-ations - The 'find out' episode to OG Trek's Trouble With Tribbles. This is just a really cool episode that blends footage from OG Trek with DS9.

Things Past - An interesting episode where some of the crew wake up in the bodies of people living on the station during the Cardassian occupation.

Ties of Blood and Water - Kira's Cardassian "father" (the guy from Second Skin) arrives on the station.

In the Cards - Jake and Nog do increasingly weird tasks in their quest to obtain a baseball card for Jake's father. Oh and that bitch Kai Winn is there too.

Statistical Probabilities - This episode introduces the Jack Pack! They're a bunch of genetically altered humans, just like Bashir! Oh, and they are extremely neurodivergent and would probably be tons of fun to hang out with.

Far Beyond the Stars - The crew, but what if they were science fiction writers in the 50s? Deals with the topic of racism.

In the Pale Moonlight - How far is Sisko willing to go to get the Romulans to join the war against the Dominion?

Take Me Out to the Holosuite - One of DS9's obligatory holosuite episodes. A Vulcan that Sisko knows shows up and in a very un-Vulcan-like manner boasts to Sisko that he and his crew are superior beings who have been trying Sisko's favorite sport and just absolutely crushing it. Sisko challenges him to a baseball game. The only problem is that most of his crew are not human and have never played baseball before.

Chrysalis - Have you ever read Flowers for Algernon? The Jack Pack returns.

[metamorphosisff]

|Three| Not What You Think

Xavier didn’t give up.

While he did not bother to text me back last week, he also did not bother to accept defeat. I could tell he was going to approach me again when I was signing in earlier but the headphones covering my ears deterred him. However, now that we were in this park working, I couldn’t have those headphones on, making it the perfect time for him to strike up another pointless conversation.

“Here comes Mr. Clipboard, he looks like he has a purpose too,” Jazz muses from my right. We were on our hands and knees tending to a garden while the men picked up trash. No one else wanted to get in the dirt and I wasn’t in the mood to traverse this whole park.

“Oh joy,” I said, causing her to snicker.

“You could smile, you know,” she said, bumping her hip with mine.

“You could stop encouraging this,” I said, bumping her back.

That was the last of our conversation before a shadow briefly stands over us. Xavier doesn’t stand long, dropping to his knees so that we are all eye level and no one has to look up at him.

“Ladies,” he greets. “How are things coming along?”

“Beat it,” I mutter, not bothering to look up.

“Some words of advice young man? Don’t mince words with this one here. I’d get to your point quickly if I were you,” Jazz says, before scooting down a few feet to give us some semblance of privacy though I note she remains in hearing distance. Nosey bat.

Xavier chuckles softly causing me to meet the biggest doe eyes I had ever seen on a man. His russet orbs take some of the chill off of my next words. “You don’t have anything better to do?” I ask, dropping my mini shovel into the dirt.

“At this very moment? Probably. Alex thinks I don’t see him inching closer and closer to the exit where the 2 is at but I’m not really in the mood for a battle,” he said with a small shrug.

“Can’t you like, get in trouble for that?” I asked.

“Me? No. I am supposed to keep an eye on tools and you while you are here. Anything you do while not being here is an issue to take up with the judge. We all have choices and a part of being an adult is taking accountability for the choices we make. I’m choosing peace while he’s choosing to go back to Rikers,” Xavier says with a shrug.

“Makes sense,” I said, nodding my head. I imagine his job already was a lot to deal with. He couldn’t hunt everyone down. Couldn’t make them do right. All he could do was show up. Same as us. “Even so, why are you in my face?”

He nodded as another chuckle slipped past his lips, “To ask if you would reconsider my proposal of friendship. I host a group for people our age to just shoot the shit or vent. Dealers choice. I’d like for you to come hang if you can. We’re meeting tomorrow at the Lutheran church around the corner from my office at seven.”

“I don’t need to be talking to a bunch of strangers. No thanks,” I said.

“Then come listen. I think you’d like it if you would give it a chance,” he said. I could see the sincerity in his gaze clear as day. The problem was that I did not trust it.

“What do you want from me? I’m not going to get with you, so you don’t have to pretend and act like you want to be my friend,” I sighed, exasperated at this whole ordeal.

His face scrunched up at the accusation. “I don’t want anything more than what I proposed Jamila but I see that you aren’t interested so I’ll back off,” he said with a small smile, holding up both hands in surrender. 

“Please because I don’t think you want a friend, you want a project, and you can get one of them for your little group,” I added, pointing out where the rest of our orange rag-tag team was over by the basketball court and not doing their assignment. 

Nodding his head, he rose to his feet. “I asked everyone already and pretty much got the same response,” he said, his words deflating any of the annoyance I thought I felt.

“Maybe you need a better pitch,” I said.

“Maybe. Guess, I’ll leave you to it. I have to call in about Alex anyway,” he said, retreating without another word.

I watched as he walked away from the garden and back onto one of the paved walkways. His shoulders with a droop I placed in them from our conversation. Jazz is back at my side before I have time to process why I care about his dejection.

“You are going to that group heffa,” Jazz said.

Turning my head towards her I fixed my lips to speak but she held up a soil stained glove.

“You are a hard somebody, too young to be as hard as you is, and that one there,” Jazz said, swinging her finger to where Xavier stood, “Can soften you. It’s okay to be soft some of the time. It’s quite nice actually. So yes, miss girl, you are going to that meeting and so am I. If you even think about standing me up, you won’t have to worry about catching the train back to East New York because I’ll kick ya’ narrow little ass there. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” I said, knowing she’s serious. I had seen her fight for less and win, and we had only been in each other’s lives for a month and a half.

“Good. Now, let’s finish getting these weeds up because my knees are starting to hurt and that is saying something seeing how I’ve spent most of my life on them,” she cracks, playfully nudging me again with her hip.

I don’t have many friends but I’d be lying if I said I was not warming up to the idea of adding Jazz to that very short list. We clicked without having to speak and when we did talk, it was often in moments like this. She reminded me of my mom before things got bad. Maybe that’s why when she talked, I listened.

While we finished up, I thought over her words and the look on Xavier’s face when I implied he had nefarious motives. He actually looked bothered and he had been dealing with my shit for weeks. When we head over to the van to put away the tools, I linger. He eyes me patiently, waiting for me to say whatever that it is that’s on my mind, shoulders squaring as he braces for the worst. I don’t blame him.

“Uh, Jazz and I, we’ll come. One time deal though,” I said, causing him to smile. He was like a puppy with those eyes, so expressive, all of the time. It was nice not having to guess what was on a man’s mind for once. Xavier’s eyes left no secrets untold.

“One time is cool, that’s great,” he beams, every tooth showing with this smile. It’s childish yet the sight of it gives me relief. There has been no true harm done. “ What made you reconsider though?” 

“Technically a threat,” I deadpanned, which caused him to laugh fully.

“Okay, I see I owe Jazz my gratitude,” he replies.

“Yes, you do!” Jazz voices from around the corner. Of course she hasn’t entered the van yet. She has to hear how every part of this after school special plays out.

“Thank you Jazz,” he says before training his eyes back on me. “And thanks for reconsidering even under duress. You remind me of one of my cousins so if I seem to be coming on strong that’s why. I miss her and see the same spirit she had in you.”

“You're speaking in the past tense. What happened to her?” I asked, stepping aside as more of the crew came to deposit tools to the back. He follows my lead, moving a few feet away so no one else can hear him speak.

“Boyfriend killed her and their three month old in my senior year of college. I didn’t like him from the jump but you couldn’t tell Sabrina shit. I loved and hated that about her,” he says, clearing his throat after. His gaze doesn’t shy away from mine and I can see a pain so fresh, it cools my skin on this eighty seven degree day. In a blink it’s gone, he knows I saw it but doesn’t seem to care. A smile returns, making his usual facial expression. “I can tell nobody can tell you shit either.”

“Nope. I’ve raised myself, I don't really need anyone else’s opinions on how I live my life,” I said, leveling my gaze in warning. 

“Aye I’m not in the business of raising adults as I’ve already demonstrated so you don’t have to worry about that,” he said.

“So what do I have to worry about?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“In regards to me? Nothing. I’m an open book that you can read whenever you are ready. You can check out a few pages tomorrow and then decide if a friendship with me is the worst thing that can happen to you,” he said, walking up to close the back doors to the van now that everything had been put away.

“That was so corny,” I said with a shake of my head.

“It got you to smile so it’s a win,” he said, causing me to immediately frown.

“I don’t smile,” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“No you didn’t, as in the past tense but you definitely just did,” he said.

“I’m going to get in the van now before this conversation makes me seriously consider getting beat up,” I replied, turning on my heels causing him to snort.

Jazz is waiting by the door with a grin on her face but before she says anything I said, “One word and you can beat me to Timbuktu for all I care but I won’t go any damn where if you gloat.”

Jazz pantomimes zipping her lips but does a little shuffle in celebration as we slide into the two seats in the front that haven’t been taken. Xavier boards last and takes his customary seat beside the driver not before shooting me a quick glance, smiling when my eyes meet his. I hear Jazz’s lips part before I remind her of my previous declaration. “One word. I mean it. One, singular word.”

I can’t shove my headphones into my ears fast enough to drown out the sound of her boisterous laughter.

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[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil." *i am typing this at fuck o clock it will go up when im at work

attached (tng):

ok, the premise of this is basically every spirk fic ever, right...? "ooh, we accidentally have a telepathic connection and our feelings are revealed"

to get this out of the way, i like how much worf e riker e deanna was in the b-plot of this, even just circumstantially (i missed data though). i also think riker finally getting fed up with the aliens and giving them shit was really funny. riker is never mean to ANYBODY. i'm also glad he was relatively chill about picard being missing for once lol. like, in NO way were these assholes ready to enter the federation. not to agree with picard, but PART of a world can't enter. if you haven't mastered world peace you can't sit with us etc etc. not that i'm fully buying the propaganda of the federation as the ultimate good or that earth does somehow have world peace but whatever. even i know these guys weren't ready. what a fucking joke

frankly stunned this didn't lead to discussion about the affair baby wesley crusher. yes i know picard said he would never act on it. i don't care about that. i KNOW these people have had an affair baby. they're the type. he would knock her up and leave her high and dry. it's the kind of man he is. don't tell me there's no affair baby. i know what i know. there IS an affair baby!! i will die on this hill

actually, even though i dislike picard, i think sir patrick stewart is a v talented actor and i DO like him. i also really like beverly, so they managed to be charming a couple of times in this episode, mostly when they had a thought we couldn't hear and then started snickering about it

that said, i have no respect at all for jean-luc. the campfire conversation sucked. beverly was DEEPLY flattered and also in a little bit of a vulnerable position and he WAS LYING when he said he didn't feel that way anymore bc he tried to hit her up at the end of the episode. a man would have HELD HER, jean-luc. i would have held her. beverly crusher i would treat you so much better

this is insane bc i don't even have a crush on beverly. like genuinely. i only talk like this about sophie devereaux and brit marling characters. i just think it's outrageous her man doesn't treat her better. i almost had a fit when it came out he didn't like the breakfasts until beverly responded in kind also lol her saying croissant w the french accent

them getting sick when they split up was really funny. jean-luc, time to ruthlessly experience morning sickness. this is how it was after you left her high and dry post affair baby conception

the bait and switch at the end fucking killed me i love beverly making him ask and then turning him down GOOD FOR HER but i have no idea what motivated the entire thing. like, was the goal to get them together before the series ended? ok, why keep them apart? why show her pushing him through to safety at the expense of her own if she was gonna turn him down? why was she giving dtf vibes there at the end? like i was YELLING at him to go to her and then he did and she was like "actually nah." which was FUNNY and again good for her but what the fuck? i thought she wanted him. i just want her to be happy.

necessary evil (ds9):

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDD

i knew going in that this was an odo episode but AN ODO AND KIRA EPISODE??? swoon. oh my god she was the first person to give him his little constable nickname. HURL. KILL MEEEEE

actually, odo/kira and odo/quark people were BOTH getting fed during this ep. odo like yeah idc about quark but im gonna solve this murder case w extreme prejudice. i like both so i had a great time

every single mention of odo's dehumanization in the past makes me HOMICIDAL please treat him really niceys. i would kind of like to know what the cardassian neck trick is though. just not from odo

"i dont drink" fuckin hilarious. i think odo should shapeshift himself a digestive system so he can try food. um one that can digest stuff in 16 hours i guess or it would all just fall out when he gooped again. we tossed around the idea of chewing gum, since you just spit that back out eventually. but does he even have tastebuds, or just the approximation of them? his other senses seem to work ok........

the window in this acted SO sketchy like she was fake crying at her third dead husbands funeral after she just inherited a zillion dollars but she literally was innocent. she pointed at kira and was like girl she did it and we're like NO kira's innocent! and then kira is literally not innocent but shady sketchy widow is. incredible

kira with long hair my beloved. i would hate it if she had long hair in present day but it's perfect for past kira

ds9 looks SO BAD in the past. to have children running around and playing in it now is insane. you can really feel the difference between the cardassian occupation and Now so well in this episode, it's as striking to us as it would be to kira and odo

ohhh my god kira and odo. "will you ever trust me again" he's not even mad she killed that guy just mad that she lied about it. AUGHGHGHG

but when kira did something shady it was for a good cause. when odo was being shady he was indirectly working for the fucking cardassians. "choose a side" so true but he eventually chose kira's <3

i love deeply that he didn't try to fuck her. like it genuinely didn't even occur to him. ace king.

40s mystery style of this was so fun. odo narration is so funny bc like he doesnt wanna do it and his log is just one sentence bc he thinks its fucking stupid and then by the end of the ep hes like man am i supposed to be usign this thing as a diary?? girl dont worry about it james t kirk did the same fucking thing

final note: rom in this episode was amazing. i've never really given him more than a passing thought before this but him secretly being a fucking amazing thief was truly fantastic. sisko and odo good cop bad copping him was really funny too especially when you remember his son and sisko's son are besties. i would still rank the ferengi as my least favorite ds9 characters but i was pleasantly surprised with how often i laughed

TONIGHT: tng's "forces of nature" which sounds like. its gonna make me mad lol

[40cleverways]

Troisha Headcanons: Tasha meeting Lwaxana

(I'm gonna be honest it's been a while since I've rewatched season one, I honestly can't remember if Tasha and Lwaxana have cannonically met or not)

Early in the mission, Deanna gets into a fight with Lwaxana, and Tasha comes to check on her. Deanna explains how she’s conflicted because she loves her mom, but she can be really overbearing sometimes and Tasha jokes that because she’s an orphan she has no emotional attachment to parental figures so she could totally yell at Deanna's mom for her. Deanna laughs (not entirely realizing that Tasha was genuinely offering). Tasha is just happy that she made Deanna feel better.

The first time Tasha actually meets Lwaxana officially (some time around when she starts to realize that she's in love with Deanna), she's actually kind of intimidated.

She does stand firm and actually calls her out when Lwaxana says something rude, though. (Tasha always was a little more brave than smart) Everyone just stops and holds their breath waiting for Mrs. Troi to explode, but she doesn't. To everyone's surprise, she laughs (meanwhile Tasha thinks she's just caused an interplanetary incident) and then says, "I like you, that Will boy never stood up to me." Winks, and promptly walks away.

Everyone let's out a sigh of relief and carries on with their day, Tasha is relieved that she didn't lose her job, but is thoroughly confused what Riker has to do with this, and Riker is honestly a little offended (he always thought that he was Lwaxana's favorite).

Tasha tries to avoid Mrs. Troi once her and Deanna actually start dating. When Tasha eventually meets Mrs. Troi, in a "meeting the parents" capacity, she’s super nervous. She knows Mrs. Troi wishes that Deanna had married Riker years ago, and Tasha knows that Deanna is basically a princess, and she's just some random weirdo who can never measure up. Plus, there was that whole incident where Tasha just straight up called Lwaxana out on her bullshit. It doesn't help that Deanna is also really nervous. Mrs. Troi keeps calling her 'Natasha' and making odd comments to see how she'll react.

Eventually, when Tasha doesn't seem to have done anything horribly rude or embarrassing, Lwaxana, without any warning, says, "Well, I think that will be all dear, I don't particularly like you, and my daughter is much too good for you. Mr. Homm, please show Natasha to the door. " To this, Deanna goes, "Mother!" Because dang, that was rude even for Lwaxana. Tasha just stands up, looking down anxiously at the table. Deanna tries to grab her arm and tell her that she doesn't have to leave. Tasha just gives an apologetic smile and tells her it's okay.

Then she squares her shoulders and addresses Mrs. Troi. "Before I go, Mrs. Troi, I'd like to say a few things. You're absolutely right. Your daughter is light-years out of my league. But I don't really care about your opinion, of me. For whatever reason Deanna has decided that she likes me, and until she realizes that she deserves much better than me, I'm going to keep spending time with her, even if you don’t like it. Because I make her happy, and I love her, and it's not your decision to make. You can't control her life as much as you may try, Deanna is a capable woman who will make her own choices, no matter what you or anyone else thinks. Good night." And then she would get up to leave and Lwaxana would stop her, she'd say that she liked Tasha's spark, and while Will was very ambitious he didn't always have Deanna's best interests in mind.

Lwaxana would end the night by telling them that they make a lovely couple. Along with a remark about when to expect wedding invitations. Tasha would sit dumbly in her chair with her jaw hanging slack. She wouldn't fully recover from the evening for a full two days.

Every consecutive interaction they have consists of Tasha just mentally going "oh shit oh fuck oh no don't mess this up don't embarrass yourself, don't say anything stupid, ahhhhh" and Lwaxana looks at Deanna and telepathically says, "She is adorable little one." Lwaxana would insist that Tasha call her 'Mother', and Tasha would awkwardly continue to call her Mrs. Troi instead.

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

I watched the Picard series finale

Going into this, I have chills 👀

Holy shit Seven looks hot as hell

AHHHHHHHH

She's so bad ass

Raffi my beloved 😍

Seven and Raffi looked at each other👀

Seven looks so done while the poor cook dude is explaining how his mom got sick and his brother got a hernia

"You got this." Just gonna think of her saying this whenever I feel like I'm struggling

AHHHH SHE'S ALL CAPTAINY AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW RAFFI HASN'T JUMPED HER😂

Oh shit

Jack is consumed by the collective 👀

The little smile Beverly exchanged with Jean-Luc

Worf: "And I will make it a threesome."

Will Riker: "Do you even hear yourself?" Oh my god😂😂 I'm dead

That look between Deanna and Will😭

If anything happens to either of them I'm gonna cry

Aw, Beverly is gripping that computer so hard

"I can no longer be your captain. I have to be a father"

Oh no

Does that mean he's gonna take Jack's place and die😭

Picard: "Beverly. Lead me to our son."

I'm crying "You did everything right." Oh damn 😭

OH SHIT VOX

Jack looks kinda awesome as Vox

OH SHIT

BORG QUEEN

I got chills

I am so creeped out rn

AHHHHHHHH

Raffi is Seven's number one

I'm so happy

The looks they keep sharing

I'm screaming with how they're finishing each other's train of thought

That poor Cook 😭😂

OOOOOOO SEVEN IS GIVING A SPEECH

I will fight under her

Raffi called Seven captain

Picard to Borg Queen: "You are not his mother!" AWWWWWWWWWWWW HE WON'T LET BEVERLY BE FORGOTTEN

Damn, this queen is bitter

HOLY SHIT

Oh no

Worf. He got zapped

Hope he still lives

"I had no idea it was that heavy." 😂

"We can't do this forever." Feels like she could be talking about more than their ship fighting

But I could be reaching

The way that Beverly fought so well and ruthlessly, and everyone turned slowly to look at her 😂

Beverly: "A lots happened in the last 20 years"😂

"Swords are fun." They really are

"no computer not even my daughter could navigate us through this." Love how proud he(Geordi) is of his kid

YEAH DATA!

Data: *tells them to trust him*

Also Data, seconds later: "Here goes nothing."

Deanna: "Wait what do you mean here goes nothing." Oh I'd hold on if I were you Deanna

The way Deanna is confused about why she senses enjoyment, meanwhile Data is living the dream 😂

OH SHIT

The earth is undefended 👀

Oh. Shit.

THE TITAN IS EXPOSED 👀

Sisters that assimilate together stick together (the La Forge sisters moving around the ship)

Seven's look of defeat 😭

Aw, the look between Saffi

Oh hell😭

"destroy the cube we kill everyone on there." Shit, Deanna is gonna need so much therapy

Beverly looks so freaking heartbroken I want to hug her 😭

"Will, the moment we fire, you'll have a minute at most." The emotion in her voice 😭

OH MY GOD

Oh MY GOD

OH MY GOD

OH. MY. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Damn, it hurts even more watching this knowing that if Will, Picard, Jack and Worf die, Deanna will feel it

Picard to his son: "If you won't leave, I'll stay with you till the end. You have changed my life. Forever." Oh damn😭

HOLY SHIT THE way Jack starts ripping out everything to save his dad

Will to Deanna: "I love you Imazati. We'll be waiting, me and our boy."😭

I'm sobbing

"I know where they are." oh thank God

I'm loving how Deanna goes to the console

Me at Jack: You're not alone, together we stand, I'll be by your side, and I'll take your hand. KEEEP HOOOOLDING OONNNNNNNN

OH MY GOD

Awwwww, Seven giving Sydney a hug😭

Pretty awesome looking armor jack is wearing 😂

Deanna and Will are adorable

Awww, three bros, chilling in spinny chairs

TO SAY I'M SCREAMING AT THE CLIP OF RAFFI, SEVEN, AND THE LA FORGE GIRLS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

I love how Worf is just snoozing away 😂

There's still like 22 minutes left, so plenty of time for something to go wrong, but I'm gonna bask in this brief moment of happiness

Oh my god

BEVERLY IS AN ADMIRAL

TUVOK MY BOY

AHHHHHHHH

Seven and Tuvok are talking

Acting Captain Seven of Nine: "I'm resigning from Starfleet." Aw😭

Aw, Shaw was a lil bit, kinda nice😭

Seven's crying 😭

My girl

AHHHHHHHH

Chills

Tuvok: "Resignation denied, Captain"

Raffi got to video chat with her grandbaby🥺

"Strangest thing. My son Gabe, wants me to meet my granddaughter." I'm sobbing😭

Worf leaked the info for her😭

Hell, I'm sobbing

So hard

AWWWWWWWWWWWW he's hugging her😭

Deanna is counseling Data😭

Wonder if he'll meet Daj

Deanna: "We've gone by our time over an hour. Again."😂😂😂

I love how Deanna is searching for beach vacation spots while Data is going on and on 😭😂

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes. Can't wait." Oh she's dreading it a bit

"Still batshit?"

"Stop it." I love them 😂

I wonder if Picard is gonna join Laris wherever she is

"I miss that voice." So do I 😭

"Admiral Picard, Admiral Crusher" AHHHHHHHHH

Ah, Jack is joining Starfleet, I'm sure that'll be a wise and interesting decision

"This is all you son, I'm very proud." AHHHHH

I just slapped my leg so hard

"We know your aversion to fanfare."😂

OH MY GOD

She's beautiful (the ship)

"Out." 😂

"Thank you Number One."

"You're so very welcome, Captain." I. Am. So HAPPY

I AM SO HAPPY

SO HAPPY

Jack's the special counselor to the Captain 😂 this is great

Raffi: "Your first official act of command."

Jack: "Writing the opening line to your legacy, so then, what will it be?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I WANT TO KNOW MORE

Beverly is so drunk😂

Worf has an adorable voice 😂

A different planet vs Orlando?😂 How random

Oh my god I'm screaming

They're gonna play poker!!!

*slams down on table* I fold OK?

So ... Is Laris just chilling in a restaurant, waiting on Picard? 🤔

Feels like they forgot about her

HOLY SHIT

HoLy ShIt

The way it's an old pic of Gates and Patrick 😂

I love that Q is still alive 👀

Oh, I'm screaming. Like so much

This was so good and idk what I'm gonna do with myself now.

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 114 (Jan. 30, 1988) - “11001001”

Written by: Maurice Hurley & Robert Lewin Directed by: Paul Lynch

The Breakdown

The Enterprise is overdue for a software upgrade, and the crew need some downtime, so Picard decides to dock at station 74 and kill two birds with one stone.  While everyone preps for shore leave, Picard and Riker stay behind in case they need to assist the Bynars, who will perform the upgrade.  We Learn that the Bynar people have effectively hooked their brains up to the cloud, and as a result they think and speak in binary, and always travel/work in pairs.  They seem harmless enough, but when Picard explains they need to leave sooner than planned (due to a time sensitive mission), the Bynars starting acting REAL SUS and then bring on a second Bynar-pair to help speed things up.

Not one to be easily distracted, Riker begins to suspect that something is awry, and keeps close watch on the Bynar’s progress.  So they proceed to easily distract Riker by upgrading the holodeck so he can go play in his own little custom sandbox.  That’s right folks! we finally get a chance to see Riker’s deepest desire, which is apparently to play Jazz Trombone in a 20th century New Jersey bar for the benefit of a personalized, sentient, totally life-like, sex doll.  And let me tell you folks, she is AROUSED by Riker, because apparently the algorithm designed her to be, based on our horny first officer’s browser history.  Also, the whole situation it is NOT-AT-ALL troubling, nor should it raise any serious ethical questions.  Thankfully Picard interrupts with an impromptu visit, just as things are getting steamy, and finds himself equally intrigued by Riker’s new companion.  Minuet (her name) then regales both men over drinks, with her lifelike beauty and charm.

Meanwhile, the Bynars have been busy stealing the Enterprise.  Unable to reach Picard or Riker (due to trickery), Data orders an evacuation because of an impending antimatter breach.  The whole thing is revealed to be a ruse orchestrated by little math nerds, and simply wanted everyone off before they hightailed it back to their home planet. They also programmed Minuet to distract Riker and Picard so they wouldn’t leave the ship.  Once Picard figures out what’s going on, he and Riker jump to into action, and beam themselves onto the bridge for the fight of their lives (they even prepare to blow up the Enterprise if need be), only they discover the Bynars are all dying.

It turns out they just wanted the Enterprise to store a back-up of their iCloud account, because a solar flare was about to EMP-the-shit out of their plantary hard drive, without which the Bynar’s brains will overload and shut down.  After realizing the Bynars had always intended for him (and Riker because it’s a two person job) to  upload the Enterprise’s backup into the Bynar systems, he proceeds to do so, and the day is saved just in the nick-of-time.  So why didn’t the Bynars simply ask for help?  Because they believe in “Better to beg forgiveness, than ask permission.” Seriously that’s the reason. They afraid the Federation would say no, so they leapt straight into grand-theft-starship.

Epilogue: Riker goes back to the holodeck to be with Minuet, only to discover that the software upgrades are gone, leaving her a mindless shell of what she had been.  Riker returns to the bridge to a saddened man, and Picard is like “dude it never would have worked,” but since she meant so much to poor William I’m sure she’ll be referenced again frequently over the show’s remaining six-and-a-half seasons.

The Verdict.

This episode is very much split down the middle for me.

The main story is quite engaging, at least right up until the climax where things get silly. The crew having to make emergency command decisions, in the absence of the captain and first officer is pretty exciting.  There’s also plenty of tension built up around the fate of Picard and Riker.  The result is an episode that makes great use of it’s ensemble cast, including those with less screen time.  For starters the performances all feel more casual, and the dialogue less forced (something which I attribute largely to the actors in this instance). The ship feels like a place with real community, and each character gets to show a side of themselves and their interests beyond their professional ambitions. If the reason for the Bynar’s deception wasn’t so ridiculous, I’d be tempted to give this episode a 4 star rating.  Except…

…for the parts with Riker on the holodeck.  We spend a WHILE just watching Riker swipe left on a bunch of holo-models as, as the computer works to construct his perfect fantasy girl. Once he finally gets her (aka Minuet), he constantly pontificates at her about how real and perfect she seems, all while very obviously undressing her with his eyes. It honestly just seems a little... icky. Predatory, even. After Picard joins, the tone becomes less sexually charged, but then the two men spend their time discussing Minuet right in front of her as if she’s not there, or nothing more than an intellectual curiosity.

Perhaps I’m thinking too much about it.  Many of my favourite episodes involve and feature holodeck characters, and similar objections could (and have) been raised there too, but there’s just something about the way Riker and Picard openly objectify an intelligence that, for all they know, is both sentient, and also at their mercy.  I will concede that I don’t think that subplot was intended to come off as creepy, nor does it outright ruin the episode for me.  You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you break even. At the very least it’s mostly fun, just not beyond criticism.

2.5 Stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

Picard has come a long way in these past 14 episodes. At first he always seemed kinda grumpy, but lately he’s been more relaxed.  In this episode he has nothing but praise for his entire crew, and especially Riker.  As I indicated above, their dynamic feels a lot more natural in this episode, and it’s nice to see Picard develop into a friend and mentor to Riker.

I realize the shots of station 74 are recycled from Star Trek III, but it’s a great visual, and even the Enterprise looks especially breathtaking here.  Visually a very impressive episode all around.

I find Wesley so unintentionally funny.  Riker tells him to keep an eye on the Bynars, and he takes those instructions literally.  Every time we return to the bridge to check in on Wes, he’s standing in the same spot just glaring at the Bynars suspiciously, as if he’s not being super obvious, and it just cracked me up.

Inconsistent technology: This episode makes a point of showing us that Minuet is simply an elaborate puppet without the Bynar’s upgrades. I’m not bothered by later episodes/spin-off-series depicting holograms who are undeniably sentient, as that can be explained as a natural progression of the technology. However, in “the big goodbye” Picard has a conversation with a holo character who expresses genuine concern that he and his loved ones may cease to exist when the program shuts off. All of that sounds something that's selfaware and sentient to me. So then why is Minuet so much less interactive sans-Bynars? The only way I can reconcile this is to suggest that Minuet's file got corrupted after the Bynars left, and any attempt to rewrite the program would result in a new “person”. There, did I do it? Did I save the continuity?

[goldenwanderer]

So I was thinking about Laris, and how obviously she should dump Picard's ass, because she deserves better.

Then another thought occurred to me: what if "better" was Beverly Crusher?

Hear me out.

For starters, they have so much in common. They've both lost husbands. They're both badasses who've been around the galaxy a few times and seen some shit. They're both healers/nurturers at heart. And they've both been personally victimized by shitty boyfriend Jean-Luc Picard.

There's a tiny bit of tension when they first meet (don't ask me how or when they meet, I haven't figured that out yet), since Beverly is kind of unintentionally the reason Jean-Luc left Laris the last time. Beverly feels bad about it, but Laris is like, I told him to go, and pretty soon they get over that.

They initially bond over some of the things I mentioned earlier - starting with their experiences with Picard, and quickly moving to sharing cool or weird or dangerous stuff they saw out in space that one time. They drink and laugh and bond, and at the end they decide, hey, we should do this again sometime.

Beverly gets back into dance or theater (or both), and Laris takes up some hobby that isn't cleaning up after Picard. They get together for drinks or lunch a few times before Beverly mentions a show, and Laris asks if she can come see it. Beverly is delighted, and manages to get Laris one of the best seats in the house. This soon becomes a regular thing.

(Deanna comes for a girls' weekend one time, and Beverly invites Laris along, and boy does Deanna notice the feelings emanating off of Beverly every time Laris walks into the room. Deanna says nothing at the time, because it's not her business - though she of course spills the tea to Will the second she gets home.)

Beverly and Laris are stargazing and laughing and sipping wine together one evening when Beverly is finally able to recognize the feelings she's been developing for Laris. This takes her aback for a moment, but then she decides, fuck it, I'm not a young woman anymore, I don't have the time or patience to be scared of this. So she kisses Laris. And to no one's surprise, Laris kisses her back.

At first they pretend that this is a no pressure sort of situation. Beverly has her son and her work, and Laris has... something that's also important (seriously, why didn't they give us more for Laris?). But pretty soon they realize that they both want the pressure. They both want the commitment. That's precisely the thing they always wanted from Picard but never got.

Nothing changes drastically between them at first. They were already basically a couple - always spending their free time together, showing up at events together, etc. Now there's just more kissing involved. (Also the sex is incredible.)

They don't try to hide anything, either, because at this point in their lives, what's the point? Most everyone is thrilled for them. It throws Jean-Luc for a bit, to see his two exes dating each other. But it doesn't take that long before he, too, is happy for them.

At some point they decide to get married. It's a quiet and simple affair, with mostly the crew of the Enterprise-D in attendance. To Beverly's delight, even Wesley manages to find the time to show up for his mother's wedding, so she has both her sons there with her. Will Riker officiates, and Data insists on a dance with Beverly during the reception.

Beverly stays at Starfleet for a while, using her new admiralty to pioneer medical relief efforts for the people and planets who need it most - even those outside Starfleet jurisdiction. Sometimes she gets to go off-world to help directly, and usually Laris comes along as well. Laris has a job, too, not with Chateau Picard (somebody come up with something for Laris, I'm begging you). They keep busy with their hobbies, and spending time with friends, and traveling to see all the best parts of Earth.

And sometimes, they just enjoy the peace and quiet of their house in the countryside somewhere. They've been through enough, and sometimes all they need is just to be together.

Though you know they're also looking forward to the grandchildren ;)

[annikasevenshots]

Star Trek Picard: Season 3 Episode 3 Reaction (spoilers!)

* Bev being a grounding force for Jack like yes she is so MOTHER

* "goddamn back window" IM SORRY THID IS SO FUNNY LIKE. the viewscreen won't work so you just look out the mf built in window 😭

* whose idea was it to have a viewscreen instead of a window anyway 💀

* WHY ARE THEIR SKINS SMOOOOOOTH IT'S GIVING ODO DEADASS 💀💀💀

* my dad actually sent me a pretty emotional text about that fatherhood scene 🥹

* I wish we'd gotten to know Thaddeus :(

* TROI CAMEO TROI CAMEO TROI CAMEO TROI CAMEO <3 <3 <3

* Wait if Thad was born on the Titan mayhaps we could see him in LWD? As a babbby??? 🥺🥺🥺

* Ngl Shaw knowing when to relieve his crew to get rest, I respect that

* LITTLE VOY

* SEVEN FIXING THING SEVEN FIXING THING SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN

* BABY LA FORGE BABY LA FORGE BABY LA FORGE BABY LA FORGE

* SHE'S 100% COMING TO THE SPINOFF IF I SAY SO MYSELF

* also didn't shaw say seven earned her post back after finding jack last episode? what are they mf doing

* "This sounds rehearsed" SHES SO MEAN PLEASE SEVEN I WOULD REHEARSE A SPEECH IF I HAD TO SPEAK IN FRONT OF HER TOO

* me rehearsing my hellos in line to meet jeri ryan at london comic con like

* THE TITAN THEME PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND??? JUST SO GENTLY????? FUCK WHAT YALL ARE SAYING ABOUT SHAW THE TITAN IS SEVEN'S CREW <3

* COMMANDER SEVEN 📣📣📣

* "go rest, ensign" god i wish someone would tell me to go rest

* HER FOND HEADSHAKE PLEASE

* Bev being a doctor 🥺

* JACK BEING A DOBERMAN GUARD DOG AND FOR WHAT

* Honestly seeing Bev back in Sickbay again is just. Seeing Dr Beverly Crusher is just. Is just is just is just.

* FACE ACTING 📣📣📣 these people are masters of their craft i swear

* "A perfect day on borrowed time" that is actually so beautiful

* the fifth time 🤡🤡🤡 JL was keeping track and for WHAT

* guys omg,,, they bonked. they fucking bonked and they're making me think about it while staring at two geriatric people

* GATES MCFADDEN SLAY

* that is actually so well acted that's such a SLAY.

* Picard: I never want a family

* Bev: okay i'll respect that

* Picard: no not like that >:(

* See I keep forgetting that this series is actually called Star Trek Picard because everyone keeps overshadowing him. I'm so sorry PatStew these girlies are girlbossing so close to the sun

* Bev really wasn't wrong though

* "All to the same stars that own you" GUYS WHY IS THE WRITING SO 🤌🤌🤌

* i'm actually surprised at how well That Part of the fandom is coping with a secret son arc given the fact that they were furious about michael being spock's half sister. but then again 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

* "He's not Dad" HE'S DADDY 🤡👍

* The way those officers passed SO SLOWLY BETWEEN RIKER AND JACK I MEAN SAME I'D WANT ALL THE HOT GOSSIP LIKE👂

* "I owe this ship's captain an apology" bitch you owe SEVEN an apology actually be serious

* Oh my god they actually had someone standing guard at a mf WINDOW this show is so unserious

* Jesus christ Shaw

* Okay but Shaw knowing when to take a step back? I honestly respect that. That's what a good leader is about.

* EPIC TITAN FIGHT THEME sorry i will never shut up about the music

* On the note of music, KLINGON OPERA 📣📣📣

* Someone on Twitter noted that Raffi was holding a phaser very similar to Seven's Fenris Ranger one in S2 and I can't take my mind off of that like this show is so crazy detailed

* CHAMOMILE TEAAAAAA <3

* Me running to the grocery store to get chamomile tea because i want something to remind me of raffi and merchandising is shit with star trek

* Seriously just sell Worf's chamomile blend you'd make so much bank

* The red light imagery when Worf says "I have learned to access calm as well as fire" WOAHHHHHHHHHHH

* Raffi being like "I TOLD YOU THAT BITCH" and Worf being like you dumbass 🥰👍

* Actual ideal dynamic

* OH MY GOD RAFFI that speech. "My life, my family, my sobriety" FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

* Worf calling her Raffaella 😩🤌 actual top tier

* Raffi's like 👁️🤡🫴😩👉🙄🤔😤... 🆒

* Seriously Bev is such a soothing doctor, I love her so much

* Jack taking after her footsteps as well

* BEV KNOWING WHAT SHE'S DOING I LOVE HER SM ACTUALLY

* "How does she keep finding us" Shaw is actually big brained? Kinda? Like I can see Shaw as a Captain like he's Captain Brained

* The Shrike is actually so cool I'm ngl

* "She's pulled us deeper into the nebula" no? she just dragged you around the corner pls 💀

* Feeling silly goofy wanna run away and start a nightclub in District 6 of Mtalas Prime

* PLEASE RAFFI AND WORF ARE SO SIBLING CODED

* KEEP SQUABBLING MY LOVES I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MHCH

* "I told you to stay back" "It is not in my nature to stay back" THEY ARE BOTH EXACTLY THE SAME I SWEAR TO GOD

* "You look inconspicuous in that hood" "Says the Klingon in warrior gear" "It is casual" THEYRE SO UNSERIOUS

* "I'm glad to see you are feeling better" "I'm not😤" why is raffi so funny

* "Beheadings are in wednesdays" STOP BEING FUNNY MY MENTAL HEALTH CANT HANDLE THIS 😭😭😭

* SEVEN BEING UNFAZED "you're insane 🤷🏻‍♀️" WHY IS SHE HILARIOUS

* SEVEN OF NINE PLEASE KICK ME LIKE THAT

* the way i know jeri ryan asked to have a scene where they had to put on masks /hj

* "Hansen to bridge" breaks my heart every time

* RAFFI YOU CAN TAKE MY FINGERNAILS ANY TIME WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY ♥️♥️♥️

* "I think I feel my chamomile tea coming back up" SHE DRANK WORF'S TEA ♥️♥️♥️

* oh my god the way raffi So gently sniffs the drug

* THAT MONOLOGUE. STEP. ON. ME. RAFFI. MUSIKER.

* RED IMAGERY??????

* YES!!!!!!!! SEVEN TO THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Ohhh now I see why it's called 17 seconds

* Dr Ohk is so baby I want to be her actually

* Is Beverly using the samsung tricorder they used last season

* That LOOK. TATTOO THIS ON ME

* WHY IS MICHELLE HURD SUCH A TOP TIER ACTRESS GODDAMNIT

* GOO MAN??????? MAN GOO GOO MAN GOO???????? GOO MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Being a father is making Picard make bad decisions I'm ngl

* Ooooh Raffi and Worf headed to Daystrom 👀 Will they meet La Forge and La Forge Jr I wonder?

* THE WAY THE PORTAL SHOOTS THEM BACK IN THE ASS IS SOOOOOOO COOL

* also how did none of them predict this they know the portal weapon exists

* me when i forget the enemy has reflect damage on when i game lmao rip titan

In conclusion I ate bread while watching this

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 1 episode 1: 🎶who you gonna call🎶

I'M HERE I'm just gonna stop playing totk on thursdays (lie)

background!!

matt!!

matt's scandalous naked wrists

oh the spotlight

oh auggie's art is good

the unintroduced characters being in shadow is nice

I need anjali in period dress forever

I'd vote for him

maybe even….president…..

ashley's face sjdflks

"I just GOT HERE"

don't keep ice atronachs in your furnace

the art camera panning around a desk instead of just the fade-in

"tol hat"

"as I expected" rude

laura noticing the light on her and perking up

murder hand MURDER HAND

voice!

art!

that is the correct response

donald :(

not the swamp gas

"who are you >:["

auggie (ashley?): mark me down as scared AND horny

robbie and laura already gossiping

"candela's recruiting fetuses now?"

void stuff

auggie is surrounded by posh weird women and is utterly unable to enjoy it

"we ain't found SHIT"

howard's kind of a bitch

she said the thing

"imagination!"

force hands

CHARLIE

"I don't think that was charcoal"

familiar (derogatory)

"well let's go home" mood

the more arlo talks the more I love her voice

"auggie's education goes far beyond book smarts" I love charlie

"did you need some help pulling that stick out of your ass?" I also love auggie

auggie is reminding of my kid when we ask her one clarifying question too many

I don't mean this in any kind of negative way, it's a totally valid frustration

"trauma bonding" sdkfjsl

calling panic attacks brain marks from now on

deeply enjoying auggie vs howard

not a chair

"we need a distraction. I'll go :D"

I love matt's Dumb Guard voice

"I'd love to help but I'm off flirting"

"I'm not very good at seeing things that are here"

"this is wood" dlkfjsl

Ghost Donald

"are you okay" auggie.

"you're so warm" that's. not great.

charlie

"it's FINE 👿"

"ROLL THEM BONES"

"I know who you are charlotte" lmao rip

fuckin leila

donald no. have you tried consent.

laura picking apart no matter what game system they're in

tiny magic messenger pigeons

Abodeless Individuals

ghost hand GHOST HAND

fable npc voice

"you're a bit older than I remember" "yeah, that's what happens"

oh bless her

mala: the circle learns about poor people

I was about to say "r.j. maccready vibes" and then I Remembered

roll for vibes

I like charlie as a bridge between the classes, as it were

"what's so funny?" "usually doctors are useful"

"rikers over it"

"sorry about the laughing at you" (lie)

howard has a death note

unecessary parkour

that one bit from arcane

can't wait for this ride at critical role land

"the children" howard

"help him, doctor!" AUGGIE

I'm a DOCTOR but not THAT kind of doctor I have a DOCTORATE but you can't HELP people with a DOCTORATE you just SIT THERE and you're USELESS

I may have seen treasure planet one too many times

this music is a+

charlie I don't know what you expected

mala: you're not his real mom

"I don't like the way you said 'great'"

oh ow

miroku

is this going to be the equivalent of trying to drive stick

"NO my sweet student"

not the final destination

fuck! all fails

vax get back in your own game

"you did it to yourself!"

mala: Matt: good rp. suffer more

"did it work?" "no! :D"

arlo and howard are A Pair of Characters

any time ashley does that half-lean shrug question thing

The Food Of Our Woes

hungry hungry ghosties

"you're bleeding out of your head"

not the chetney noises

oh shit

rip auggie

everybody keeps forgetting they can roll again

"SPOILER ALERT"

"leave it up to fate - no that's stupid"

robbie's so into this sdlkfjnls

old as balls

eddie? whomst?

"the gilded rainbow" gay as shit

"we were part of an industrial accident" swamp gas

:(

"I crashed a truck into a building! it didn't work!"

"there's a reason he's a professor" it's bc he's a bitch

"don't set it on fire"

"your club tried to kill me, not sure if want"

in a few hours the sun will rise

gay

ah the true fantasy setting - free rent

"I slathered a nice man up" hate it

acted bizzare

they got a good grade at ttrpg

oh I love arlo

of course it's doc cochran

I heard the "mmmmakinmway" in my head

[croc-odette]

let the hater out i wanna see the 6 paragraphs about snw

it's just BORING. crucially. like i'll start an episode because i'm like 'okay maybe this time... it SOUNDS like a fun premise. spock antics! horror! cartoon crossover!' and it still manages to so boring that i don't even finish the episode. if i watch a show and get mad, it still gets credit for the fact i sat there and watched the whole thing anyways. but snw i'll be sitting there like... why bother? they are not going to do anything surprising, or that makes me think after the credits roll, or that sticks with me because it was particularly funny or clever or new.

the snw/lower decks ep was almost a bad move because it was so refreshing to see boimler and mariner to the point that i'm like why am i watching a show about these other people who just say things like 'wow... THAT was weird' or '... what's... happening now?' and it's like for the love of god. you are in space with aliens. your life is weird and i need you to get freaky as hell to match up with it. like tng had some real nerds on it and they were still fucking weirdos. riker and troi's vaguely open relationship where they are soulmates who aren't dating exactly. data is doing stand up with the bartender who is immortal maybe? worf is resolutely boring but he is also embroiled in KLINGON NOBILITY BLOOD FEUDS! picard's bald ass stuffy french shit he loves tea and horses and hates children and also he was STABBED in a bar fight as a rowdy ensign!!! and this isn't even the weird freak energy of DS9!!!

idk. there have been 19 episodes of snw and it feels like they've barely said anything. like it just feels like 90s trek was DENSER writing. they said we have 45 minutes and we need to see hobbies, we need to see plot, we need to see ethical debate, we need to see bizarre side characters, we need to see some weird shit. where is that. snw is spending its time rehacking the most tired romance/war tropes and dialogue that even marvel wouldn't keep

[sugarymechanoid]

hi kitty ^_^ do you have any headcanons for ur ship with moralism? - @capitalistbf (i love seeing other centricide/realicide shippers :3)

HIIII OMG I HAVE SO MANY TY FOR ASKING

Moralist is totally a goody two shoes, and I’m a terrible influence on him 😭 my horrible manners got him to cuss

He likes to go out and I’m super indoorsy so he has to drag me out of the house to go anywhere

He and I are both super affectionate but I initiate all the pda<333 he has a kissable face

He’s taller than me so he has to get things for me and I hate it! Grr I appreciate it tho

I attempt to be the “man” of the house but my arms are as strong as uncooked spaghetti so I can’t open jars for shit

I make him watch Star Trek with me because I’m a NERD and he and I talk about it forever <3 (William Riker is his favorite and mine’s data <3333) (I’m the riker to his Diana Troi <3) (if you don’t get it uhh look it up I thinkies)

He’s the only one who laughs at my terrible jokes

Neither of us can cook but we try via freezer dinners

He takes care of the bugs bc I’m too scared of them. I try to get him to kill them but he doesn’t because “everything deserves to live!” And I think that’s total bs DEATH TO FLIES

I’m a night owl and he’s a morning person so he lays in bed for at LEAST an hour with me before he gets up

On topic of the bed, I take up 90% of the bed and he just squeezes in and takes the remaining 10%

I keep trying to convince him to get a pet, and the only issue is I want a cat and he wants a dog (we will eventually compromise and get both. The dog is gonna like me most much to my displeasure) (it’s like when dads say they don’t want a dog and then the two become inseparable)

He always gets perfect gifts somehow?????? But I’m total shit at gift giving so I give him a card and some money every year for his birthday

I got him to dye his hair once but it was cursed so never again

I got him to actually take care of his hair and it’s so pretty now <3

I tell him kinda creepy shit and he hasn’t called the police yet, I think he should

I do make up on him. He’s very pretty

Animals always seem to like him and it makes me jealous! He’s a Disney princess and it’s unfair

He has gorgeous nails and I love to paint them pretty colors!!! <333

I have to do the clothes shopping because he’s super simple and won’t get anything fashionable unless I’m there

(We’re not married yet but I have plans!!! This is under the cut bc it’s secretttt) (all my mooties are invited<3)

[curator-on-ao3]

Tagged by the delightful @vegawriters. 💕 Thank you so much, vega!

1. Three ships:

Una Chin-Riley/Christopher Pike — cozy vibes, mutual respect, implicit trust, a long history, a smidge of teasing, and she literally washes while he dries. Yes, I know they’re besties in canon and I love that, too.

Will Riker/Deanna Troi — sometimes love is circular.

Laira Rillak/Charles Vance — and sometimes love is in the past … mostly. (I really like the idea of these two holding the Federation and Starfleet together while their partners were sent away for safety. Then, later, we see their respect for each other’s spheres of influence and him calling her the conductor whom others should trust. Happy sigh.)

2. First ship ever: Will Riker/Deanna Troi. From the word go … or, should I say, from the Encounter at Farpoint voice-over: “Do you remember what I taught you, Imzadi? Can you still sense my thoughts?” But here’s the thing, if you ship Troi/Worf, it’s all good. I get it. Deanna and Will went round and round and Worf knew what he wanted. I prefer Imzadi, but all respect to those who like other combinations (for all ships).

3. Last song: “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities.

4. Last movie: My dude, I have no idea. I cannot remember the last time I saw an entire movie.

5. Currently reading: “Making Time: Lillian Moller Gilbreth — A Life Beyond ‘Cheaper by the Dozen’" (For those who notice such things, yes, this book has been my answer to this question for years. It’s really good, but other books keep cutting in like jerks at the club.)

6. Currently watching: Star Trek: Picard, season 3 (cautiously) and the Night Court reboot, which I am finding delightful. Dan Fielding was always great and now he’s even better.

7. Currently consuming: Oxygen? I’m not sure how to answer this.

8. Currently craving: A US government that listens to the will of the people and institutes universal healthcare, affordable college tuition, and meaningful economic reform that taxes the shit out of money-hoarding corporations and the uber-wealthy in order to fund education, public transportation, and infrastructure. Let’s get government big enough so it no longer fits in my uterus or my bedroom, and instead provides services for those who need it.

As y’all know, I love being tagged but have tag anxiety for tagging others. If you want to play, please consider yourself tagged! ❤️

[thegeminisage]

it's time for...a dual tng/ds9 update. i'm gonna be real, i would strongly prefer to put updates for separate shows in separate posts to keep my tags/archive clean, but i tried to imagine doing that for all seven seasons of ds9 (which either run concurrently to tng or voyager) and became horrifically overwhelmed. so, unfortunately, this is the way it has to be. last night we watched tng's "ship in a bottle" and ds9's "captive pursuit."

ship in a bottle (tng):

to be totally honest, i probably would have had more nuanced thoughts on this episode if 1. i hadn't been sleep deprived out of my fucking mind and also had the Worst Day Ever 2. they didn't pronounce the name "regina" to rhyme with "vagina."

like, i'm sorry, WHO SAYS IT LIKE THIS? AND THEY KEPT SAYING IT. every time i calmed down someone would say it again, or catherine would say it again to menace me, and i'd dissolve back into hysterics. i almost couldn't follow the plot of the episode because i was laughing too hard

that said, i did glance over the transcript in the cold light of day, wherein i can (attempt to) read the name "regina" as god and the mean girls intended, and i do have a few thoughts, which are as follows

i don't think moriarty makes a good villain. i mean, it's just a sherlock holmes crossover, which i'm already a little chilly on because of those fucking tjlc people, but also, it's not...really star trek. also lmao him like "YOU FORGOT ME AND I STAYED IN A MICROCHIP FOR FOUR YEARS" and meanwhile picard is like "uh no we totally researched" dude. you didn't. we all forgot about him. please be serious

ALSO, we pulled him from season 2. they were like, "SOMEONE said 'create an opponent who can out-think data'" and they can't even say pulaski's name because that was such a cheap shitty move from a cheap shitty season. do not bring that shit forward. let it die.

the sci-fi concept of "what if this nonsentient npc became self-aware and wanted to be real" is solid, i'll give it that (and bonus points at the end for picard implying they could all be living in a simulation, WHICH THEY ARE, and there's also a theory that our world is one too), but instead of...exploring the concept at all and try to decide what the ethical thing is to do about it, they play this...cat-and-mouse inception game with moriarty instead. AND THAT COULD HAVE BEEN FUN. i was actually decently impressed when geordi caught that thing in his left hand and realized a second before they told us that they had been in the holodeck all along. tng doesn't manage to trick me often and i really enjoy it when they do! i think an episode utilizing that plot twist could have been great! but it's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT episode than "the holodeck characters may be sentient, what are you going to do about it?"

the implications were also there in "the big goodbye," which apparently won awards even though i hated it - that guy asking if his family would be there when he got home, or if he was just gonna disappear when picard walked out the door. and of course picard walked out the door and he just ceased to exist. and that one episode with what's her name, riker's dinger lady gf. there is EVERY implication throughout this series that the holodeck characters are not only CAPABLE of becoming sentient but that they ALREADY ARE SENTIENT.

THINK ABOUT THIS A SECOND. that fake deanna with no free will of her own that barclay made specifically for him to fuck is sentient. the enemies in the klingon training scenarios. the guys in the westerns. riker's fake family. geordi's creepy holodeck sex doll gf. every background extra in the dixon hill setting. the alternate versions of riker and geordi from those episodes with recordings. the alternate version of riker on the trail where he was accused of RAPE and the victim he supposedly assaulted. ALL SENTIENT.

and instead of doing anything about this, like notifying starfleet and immediately disassembling all the holodecks and never ever making another one or AT THE VERY LEAST ceasing their use until an investigation on whether or not their use is ethical takes place. we just. put moriarty and his poorly named gf into a little cube and make a 4th wall joke. a good 4th wall joke, but still.

like, is it ethical to trap them in a holosimulation that they believe is real for the rest of their endless existence? there's no choice probably but if this is the hell they go through, if they can feel the passage of time between bouts of being solid in the holodeck, isn't it unethical to create more of them?? it is the EXACT argument made for data's personhood in season 2 - the holodeck characters exist to be therapists and entertainers and whores, and there's potentially an entire race of them in there, but it is LITERALLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to give them agency and lives and choices of their own. YOU HAVE TO DISASSEMBLE THE HOLODECK. or stop making these kinds of episodes.

i will say that i was so worried about this being A Barclay Episode but like he was just in it. and that was fine i guess. like he didn't do anything horrible he was just there. i can live with that...but at what cost. good fucking lord. the one time tng has a solid sci-fi premise and they totally waste it on stupid ass bullshit

oh, yeah. the two gas planets colliding in this episode to make a star was cool esp bc one of them was a jupiter knock-off. i'm pretty sure that's not how stars work but i don't know enough about it etc etc etc. compelled me anyway though.

captive pursuit (ds9):

sour note right at the beginning when this poor lady was telling sisko that quark tried to fuck her...i like quark a lot so i wish we could like retcon some of the horrible ferengi stuff cuz it really takes the wind out of my sails. but whatever

i am tosk!!! it was so cute because like he literally is tosk. but then by the end it's a bummer because he's only tosk. you know :(

i love o'brien in this episode. he called the strange alien "friend" like 3 times and then proceeded to become his number one best buddy. i was so worried when he went into the ship alone that this alien was a big meanie who would jump him but instead he just smacked his head which was pretty funny

quark acting as a therapist in this episode was really funny. he's like, tell me about your problems. and o'brien is like, thanks i'd rather die. but then he does and quark is so pleased, it was extremely funny

o'brien busting tosk out really was the only solution and very cool also. o'brien NEVER got to do stuff like this in tng. "die with honor" i love that he got the gist of it and that you could see on his face that he went from wtf to honored and touched. very sweet.

side bar but ODO DOESN'T USE PHASERS??? how does he fight...he's so fascinating to me. i want to know everything about him

surprise sisko moment at the end where he gives o'brien the business and then o'brien is like okay yeah i had that coming but like could you not have caught us. like i was so sure you were gonna catch us. what happened. and then you remember sisko is being a hardass but he literally did tell odo to walk slower. i think it's another good example of sisko threading the needle where he has to follow starfleet's rules but he knows in his heart what the right thing to do is. i like him so much

TONIGHT: tng's "aquiel" and ds9's "q-less" (GROSS what is q doing on this cool show get your tng shit outta here)

[defendglobe]

anyway, jumping off that post i made the other day about odo being deanna's stepfather, here's some TNG/DS9 crew interaction headcanons:

-sisko and picard keep a respectful distance from each other. neither of them want to discuss what happened at wolf 359 but it's too big an issue to ignore. their interactions are limited to stuff like "congrats on your promotion to captain" or "sorry your ship was destroyed."

-since the TNG movies first contact and insurrection take place while worf is working on DS9, the TNG crew stay around for a few days when they bring worf back to talk about their latest adventure. after first contact, data scares the bejesus out of everyone by walking through the promenade with half his face ripped off.

-whenever geordi visits DS9 he ends up helping o'brien with repairs because something is always broken on DS9 and geordi is a workaholic. it's a good excuse to catch up and find out how keiko and molly are up to. he always leaves DS9 glad that he's the chief engineer of the enterprise and not station on fire trash can.

-riker sets up a poker table at quark's and invites julian and o'brien to play. julian gets all competitive is convinced that he can beat riker but o'brien (who regularly attended poker games on the enterprise and knows damn well that riker is an amazing player) tells him that he doesn't stand a chance. they play a game and riker absolutely wipes the floor with julian.

-data, geordi, and julian keep in touch after the events of TNG S6E16 because they're all autistic nerds who love infodumping. sometimes they'll try out each other's favorite holodeck programs together (sherlock holmes/james bond).

-also because of TNG S6E16, beverly keeps in regular contact with julian and lets him swing by the enterprise-E every now and then to use medical equipment that is more advanced than the stuff on DS9. she does still give him shit for literally breaking into sickbay that one time, though.

-sisko and beverly bond over being single parents and losing their partners because of their starfleet careers. beverly busts out some baby pictures of wesley and his ugly sweaters remind sisko of jake.

-jadzia and riker probably fucked at least once. they also swap weird sex stories in the middle of the bar. beverly walks by, says "by the way, i fucked a ghost once," and then walks away. jadzia hauls ass across the room to ask for context on that one.

-deanna goes to garak's shop looking for a new outfit and since she's a betazoid, she ends up telling him he really should consider therapy because his vibes are so off. garak does not appreciate that insight and has to resist the urge to go full obsidian order on her ass.

-picard and odo get along surprisingly well, since they both tend to hold people at arms length and are emotionally constipated as shit. if picard ever needs to pass on information to the DS9 crew, he usually goes through odo so he doesn't have to talk to sisko. also picard is super orderly most of the time, which odo appreciates.

-quark tries to ban data from the dabo wheel, saying that it's not fair for an android with superhuman abilities to gamble because he could easily rig the games. julian, o'brien, worf, and the entire enterprise crew threaten to beat the shit out of him for saying that. data explains to quark that his ethical program wouldn't allow him to cheat and quark ends up having to listen to data infodump about his programming.

-data occasionally joins in garak and bashir's gay little book club, because he appreciates hearing a cardassian perspective on human literature. since he's super direct/upfront all the time, he gets a bit confused by garak constantly talking in like fifty layers of euphemisms. bashir has to explain that no, this isn't a human social norm you're missing, garak is just Like That.

-the enterprise is out on an urgent mission when worf and jadzia get married, but the crew throws a hell of a party for them when they get back (riker and beverly were the masterminds here). likewise, the DS9 crew members who stayed around after "What You Leave Behind" are invited to deanna and riker's wedding. they're just off camera because they didn't want to be seen in such a bad movie, lol.

-guinan and quark get into a "who's the better bartender" type rivalry and compete by making a shitton of different drinks for people in the bar and having them vote. it ends in them getting arrested by odo for using romulan ale or some other illegal thing.