#but right now I need a screen break
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I know, she says, I'll compile a list, she says, of all the shirts/outfits that have been worn in multiple qls.
Like that's easy.
Like there's only a handful...maybe 7/8...
She's at 20 and counting. And that's only the ones she remembers. There are probably others she hasn't noticed...because she just discovered three more.
Why? she laments, why did I start this*?, as she slowly closes her laptop.
(*because she now needs to finish it.)
#the thai communal wardrobe#gmmtv communal wardrobe#thai bl#thai ql#I might actually make the post soon#but right now I need a screen break#and a t-shirt slogan break#I do love them though#hey. if anyone wants to send me/point me towards shirts/outfits that pop up again and again#then please do!
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[Images description: Twelve pictures of Star Trek actors. The phrase "thank you for being both amazing actors and amazing people" is written across most of the images one word at a time, except for the two images in the middle. The middle images are of William Shatner, reading "not you!" and Robert Beltran, reading "or you for that matter". The actors in the other images are George Takei, René Auberjonois, DeForest Kelley, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Kate Mulgrew, Patrick Stewart, Siddig El Fadil (aka Alexander Siddig), Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy. End image description.]
Non exhaustive list of course. Many more such cases, in fact feel free to add
(insp)
#i considered putting sid's full name in the image description but i felt that might complicate things for screen reader users#but just so it's in the post i'll put it in the tags#siddig el tahir el fadil el siddig abdurrahman mohammed ahmed abdel karim el mahdi#yes i did copy paste it my memory is shit. i can't even remember my own full name...#(i gave myself like five different middle names at one point because if i'm already changing my name for trans reasons i might as well have#fun with it right but eventually i stopped using them because i literally kept forgetting my own name and had to look it up)#(i still have the note btw and since it seems i won't legally be using that last name anyway (nor any of the middle names) feel free to ask#anyway#star trek#not star trek#(schrödinger's post lol)#oh!!! i forgot one version of sid's name!! here goes#صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي#to be fair there's nothing in that tag (right now) but i guess i'm a completionist. or something#the others are ofc already findable because of the image description#oh and just fyi if you wanna add others do feel free to add new trek actors. i didn't include any here essentially because as soon as i inc#include one of them people are gonna complain i didn't include more of them. plus i ran out of space. sorry tawny#oh and to that one anon: i WILL still answer but i needed a break lol#original posts fresh from quark's pussy
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Trying to analyze the tropes in my own fics to see if I think they're successful as component pieces and getting so confused I give myself psychic damage send help
#spazzcat barks#i was trying to figure out how -- if at all -- the 5 man band structure appears in RnS#Helsknight has been labeled: Leader Lancer and Strong Man#i think i am more firmly planting him on Lancer/Strong Man#but the story itself makes a compelling case for Helsknight is the leader but the story is narrated by his Lancer [Tanguish]#Tanguish not surprisingly Ive put in: Hero/Leader Lancer and Heart#EB i think could be Strong Man or Heart with emphasis on Heart#Martyn could be the Smart Guy for Tanguish or the Lancer for Helsknight#in which case if Martyn is Helsknights Lancer than Tanguish could compellingly be Helsknight's Smart Guy instead#conversely Tango doesnt fit into the 5 man band structure. he is instead an inciting insident / catalyst#who could become a support character role a la Heart later but only once he gets more screen time#as of right now hes very one dimensional#meanwhile Welsknight is one of three plot antagonists#the Main Antagonist is the Universe/Death#it represents a force of nature antag#the major secondary Antag and the Tanguish specific antag is the Demon#he represents what needs to change about the world and the concepts that Tanguish is ideallgocally opposed to#Welsknight however is theeeeeee#oh words#i belive its called the Saboteur? Antag archetype?#he is the thing that breaks things down from the inside#also to be further established#anyway ive been thinking about this for hours >:/#if i can not put my little guys into their assigned boxes i think that means i didnt quite make the mark on those boxes#which isnt inherently bad -- the main cast of RnS is a duo Hero/Right Hand Man archetype first#and a 5 man band second#but still! frustrating
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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You all neglected to mention that Ibis was a paid app or one hour a day. Guess I’ll wait for the stylus.
#I mean I can get a lot done in an hour#but I only have about 1-1.5 hours of free time a day#and boy is this thing frustrating to use right now since I’m figuring it out#I’d like to take breaks but no I can’t#I think the iPhone version is fully free other than ads#but I’m too clumsy for that I need the stylus#or something#desktop was going fine until I figured out why it was gray#I need the outline black but there’s no option to change pen color???#when where’s no black on the screen
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On vacation – see you all in July! ☀⛱
Hockney, David. Swimming pool, Fire Island. 1978.
#this is my tumblr out of office i guess#there's some stuff in the queue but i won't really be around.#trying to reduce screen time as much as possible#to everyone who's sent an ask or is waiting for a reply: i'm sorry i promise i will respond but i really need a break right now#i feel like i havent slept in weeks#(this all sounds very pompous. i'm sure everyone will survive)#q
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*not dead just waiting for the winter break to finally come around :'D*
#ferre said something i hope it was dumb ( ooc. )#i said i'd be around last weekend but i lied#i'm sorry and i'll do it again :'D#work has been....killing me i finally understand when ppl say#they don't want to look at a computer screen anymore#i do like the job but.....#rn i have like 100+ emails with paperwork to process 😭😭😭 (thankfully i'm not the only one working thru them)#each of them take about 10 minutes to process...and that's if the person filled out their paperwork correctly#and these are students. full offense but students more often than not DO NOT...read the instructions correctly#so i have to hound them to fill it out correctly and that can take days :/#there were also other paperwork things i needed to do too#this morning there were 116 unread emails in the inbox....when i left there were 130 😭😭😭#but also break is coming up and the deadline to process all of them is jan 10th so i will enjoying my break when it starts on tuesday :)#this is all to say#i hope??i can be around for a lil' bit?#since things outside are finally slowing down#and i'm forcing myself to finally just. rest.#( also my cat says hi he is snoozing in bed next to me <3)#is this a vent? i don't really think it is#bc i do like this job a lot more than my old one#it's just right now there's a lot of....work to be finished :'D
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It's so wild and refreshing to me to want to be HERE. In my country. In my general area. Where I am
#for years I've yearned for people from the screens in other countries and always wanted to be elsewhere and it gets hard#especially being left untethered after relationships break or friendships fade#I still have friendships but this is my place right now and whatever I need to find next I have to find it where I am#trying to bond with people locally feels like I'm in school again. super worried it won't work yet so happy when it does#there's an uncertainty to it and it's. different#but also last few times I was with people I didn't feel the need to be on my phone at all save from showing the person something#which is. foreign to me#idk. something is changing and shifting towards what I've been searching for. just a bit#the steps have been small. and are still small. it's like climbing up a spiral staircase#been going on forever. long way come and nowhere near the top#but it's like I just passed a window and noticed the view is really nice out#this was brought to you by: upstairs neighbour woke me up at 4 again#bien rambles
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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briefly diverting from oc asks to braindump about gender and sexuality (i wrote this out last night on my phone while i was falling asleep so excuse the mess)
alesko - cis man/gay. starts out super closeted due to Childhood Trauma but comes to terms with it over the course of the class story, blossoms into a delightfully snarky flirt. (this is partly my way of explaining the game not letting me be gay during the class story BUT also bc i think it fits him)
rul - masc aligned queer. something something sithgender. he's mostly uninterested in romance, but has a thing for power/strength. (khem. he wants khem.)
vex - nb/bi. strained relationship with gender due to some dissociative body issues wrt experimental cybernetics.
rhoen - cis man/bi. very open and confident in his sexuality.
heskan - trans man/bi. a bit out of touch with his sexuality, due to inexperience and, y'know. Jedi things.
sunhase - cis-ish woman/bi. gnc, very butch. confident with casual sex, but shy when it comes to relationships.
k'jet - trans man/ace, exact flavor undetermined. idk why both of my jedi are trans men but here we are.
rk-6 - ??? a robot. he's a lil guy. idk. whats in his pants? missiles.
#rhys rambles#collecting bisexuals like pokemon cards#not tagging this right now bc i need a screen break
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Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.
#oc tag#“but prince he's your oc how tf did this happen” he has a mind of his own trust me#i mean this is literally one of the parts of his character he is literally so good at adapting his personality#because he felt he needed to as a kid both in school and in the business world#that barely anyone knows what he's actually like#like one minute he's a suave overconfident guy who can take on anything#but hes also the quiet dude in class who never participates is probably asleep but somehow gets everything right and is top of the grade#he loves to flirt but will absolutely blue screen if anyone flirts back because despite the fact he flaunts himself-#he doesn't think hes attractive LMAO#his biggest motivation is spite and he doesn't know when to quit#this boy has so many fucking issues istg#def one of those characters who has so many masks that he hardly knows himself#i have a fear that he's nearly too complex to the point where he's a confusing character and i personally dont think thats a good thing#so i really hope that's not the case for you guys 😬#over my break ive really spent time trying to iron out his character and just make him into soemthing im even more proud of you know#the good thing is that at least his story now has a clear arc and theme which im really proud of#so im gonna use that to build off and iron him out even more#the way i put more work into this funky dude i came up with than like my entire uni work#i love him so much sorry to be mentally ill about a guy i made because i liked a ship too much (and crossover i was having fun with too)#one day i will have a proper post for him with references and everything for him his outfits his personas the lot#one of these days
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Will Graham is the ultimate empath™️
#'I don't find you that interesting'#hannibal about fuck up this case on purpose 'you will!'#also holy shit hannibal's personality is so domineering in such an effortless but purposeful way#like he takes up extra space on screen just bc it'll make the viewer and any character near him slightly uncomfortable it's so cool#hannibal really took one look at this dude and went 'I can make him worse' and by god I hope they both destroy each other#no fr if hannibal's gonna be this in control the entire show someone tell me I need to change my mindset RIGHT NOW#I need this man to break on screen I cannot explain to you how much I want to see that I hope they do that#hannibal
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i know noone cares but please know that when i say "WAY longer than intended" i mean like... nearly 8 hours, starting around when they got home from school yesterday. WE are normal.
#there were a few breaks for dinner and such so it might've been closer to 7 but. still#i'd open up the game to check playtime on that file/show proof but i cant do it right now </3#we had to close the game right before the start of day cutscene and we JUST rescued yonny#and they NEED to see that goddamn dialogue#Rambles Into The Void#bonus facts: yonny was the castaway we found after defeating the empress bulblax in kingom of beasts#and they flipped the screen the double bird when his ID popped up#this was while i was excitedly going 'YONNAAAAAAYYYYY' also
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Ocd is so fun, I do something twice in a row and then my brain is convinced that horrible things will happen if I don't do it every time after for the rest of my life
#i really wish i could get rid of the obsession with a number#it's really annoying because when reading and reaching that chapter i need to finish it and move to the next because I can't leave that#specific number on the screen#if it's a book with short chapters i can deal but now I'll have to read almost another 30 minutes because it's a long one 😔#i need to break out of this but doing so causes me horrible anxiety for days and it's not the right moment#maybe once my eyes have healed... i just need to stop avoiding that number feel physically sick with anxiety for a couple days and I'm free#mental illnesses are so much fun
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I still have TWO of these suckers, both different models of the Sony Trinitron. I sleep next to one and use it as a night stand and the other is used as a monitor for a media PC in my art room and it's uh... That monitor's casing is umm... Is held partly together with gorilla tape and the colors are separating in one corner.
Good to know I'm literally within arms reach of a tiny reactor. I love them.
#also fun story.#i was putting in a window ac in my window#on my own mind you.#and I knocked over my curved lcd i use for my desktop somehow. and it feel forward onto my ihome alarm clock#and ipod classic#that broke cause LCDs are the most fragile fxcking monitors in existence#well not really but in comparison to crts and some Samsung phones I've owned it was#and of course more fragile than the ipod classic (still works PERFECTLY FINE by the way. apple go back to making things sturdy#but after removing the other things from the top of the CRT including my desktop#(I unplugged stuff don't worry. I'm not THAT careless. just careless enough to balance a monitor on top of a sony triniton facing my bed#in a way that can be easily knocked off lol)#so I move the CRT right? problem is I'm the only person moving it from in front of the window I'm putting the AC in#cause I have to block off the rest of the window- it's a big window#so I end up Knocking it over and it falls screen first on the floor of my room on top of chords and other junk that I need to clean up#I don't freak out too much mostly cause it's a glorified side table to me right now. i barely use it#just a little sad if it does break#I get the board in with much struggle with the ac and tack up the curtain so it isn't in the way#so I lift the tv/night stand and pop the control panel back into its spot#i hold my breath and it doesn't look like anything happened. same picture#meanwhile my monitor for my desktop is internally shattered#luckily i had an older back up monitor that uses the old blue display connectors.#But
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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