#but remember these images are more like inspo than the actual thing

[thefixeraa]

palazzo serenzo , via degli archi , 12 florence , italy .

background : palazzo serenzo is a historical and landmarked building from the 15th century . the di conti family were a prestigious and one of the most prominent noble families in florence , and also allies to the medici family . the di conti's head : alessandro di coni commissioned the architect leonardo de'amici to build them a home that inspired the citizen's of florence . much is a mystery about the family since , not much is known about them . they however used their amassed wealth and title to serve as a symbol and for the overall wellbeing of florence and her people .

their family can be traced back to wealthy merchants who amassed great wealth and power through their successful trading ventures . with their wealth , the di conti family became influential in the arts , education , politics , banking and then some . the matriarch isabella di conti was a poet and dedicated to italy's rich history and artistic expression . she loved to host salons and invited some of the most influential guests . thus making their home a hub for intellectual and artistic exchange . the family supported many renowned artists , architects , and scholars at the time . they were known for the passion for collecting rare artifacts ( some of which are said to be hidden within the palazzo , kept in a secret wing from prying eyes . ) most of their collections from paintings to manuscripts are in mia's possession today .

as one approaches the palazzo , their eyes are drawn to it's entrance . framed by intricately carved stone arches which are adorned with delicate floral motifs . the heavy wooden doors were crafted from oak and fitted with brass handles and hinges . stained glass windows are attached to the doors which filter rays of colors into the atrium . at the far end of the atrium is an imposing statue of diana the huntress . the staircase leading to the upper floors , the balustrades crafted with intricate scrollwork that seems to intertwine like delicate vines . each step is a testament to the masterful craftsmanship , with the polished marble or white and red , gleam from the natural light through the windows .

the di conti family played a pivotal part in the political landscape of florence , often holding positions of influence and participating in key decision - making processes . alessandro was such a diplomat and politician , and his first born son : marco would follow in his father's footsteps and also become a influential politician . they were esteemed for their diplomatic skills , strategic alliances , and their commitment to perserving the city's cultural heritage . there was an attempt on alessandro's life during the conspiracy to assassinate the important men in the medici family . what also is a bit of a conspiracy is that he was also hiding a very important artifact that contained a supernatural magic that could give the handler wealth , unbeatable strength and power . but of course ... that's nothing but a conspiracy .

the family's crest is a shield that is dividend into four sections . the upper left and lower right sections showcase a deep royal blue color , while the upper right and lower sections are adorned with a rich emerald green . the upper left section has a golden lion : representing courage , strength , and leadership . the lower right section features a silver crescent moon : symbolizing wisdom , enlightenment and the pursuit of knowledge . the upper right section , there is a stylized golden olive tree : representing peace , abundance , and prosperity . lastly the lower left section showcases a silver key : symbolizing guardianship , authority , and preservation of family secrets and legacies . above the shield there is a regal golden crown which is obvious , representing the families noble status and heritage . supporting the shield on each side , there are two majestic silver griffins : representing courage , protection and watchfulness . below the shielf there is a flowing ribbon that has the family's motto in latin : vigilans et fortis ... vigilant and strong .

mia's residency in the ancestral palazzo of the di conti family represents a continuation of their legacy , as she finds herself surrounded and enamored by the remnants of the bygone era .

the apartment : mia bought the upper two floors of palazzo serenzo , and more of a recent purchase since returning to public life . it was during this time that she was working as a fixer , and fully taking on the persona . the apartment contains four bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms , her master bedroom being on the top floor facing the east . the apartment has a large eat - in kitchen ( obviously a more modern kitchen considering most kitchens in the 15th century would have been on the bottom floor . ) a separate and formal dining room with a large farmhouse table , a library that adorns hundreds of books adorning the bookcases . an official office and a room where mia holds her weapons and work related items . like mia's brooklyn warehouse , the apartment ( and ultimately the entire palazzo ) has been fixed with the top tech and security systems available . making the palazzo safe and secure for anyone who has malicious intent . the armory is more traditional , housing some 13th - 15th century military artifacts and then some . with the captivating blend of historical charm and timeless elegance .

the apartment begins at the entrance , with the heavy wooden double door , leading to a long hallway that showcases the first fresco ( a celestial panorama , one with a rich night sky , adorned with twinkling stars and constellations . with a radiant full moon and surrounding it with some etherial figures of mythological creatures . ) another fun fact about the di conti family is that they were catholic but also believed in science too . some believe the patriarch of the family was also an astronomer .

the hallway holds many artifacts and paintings from the di conti family personal archives , and some that she has bought and collected over the years . tall windows with dark wooden panels invoke natural light into the rooms , because their open most of the year when she's there . the living room is further down the hall and to the right , though the room doesn't have any frescos . the real focal point is to the grand fireplace that is still in use to this day during the cold winter nights . the walls are left natural , with the only painting done for the renovations and upkeep of the original state of the apartment . there are exposed beams through out the apartment , though in some rooms the ceilings opt for a more traditional italian look with the original woodwork and floral etchings into the wood . the floor is mostly terracotta and tile , therefore mia opts for many persian and turkish rugs to cover the floor .

off to the right is a formal dining room , where a refurbished farmhouse table sits in the center of the room . wall sconces fitted onto the walls and a antique gold chandelier centered above the table . it can host around eight to tend people at a time , the kitchen is just further off to the side . while for the most part mia kept with the original feel to the apartment , the kitchen utilizes modern necessities . however a antique wooden island was put there for extra space to store things like dinnerware and pots . the four bedrooms are divided , with the master bedroom on the first floor . mia created a warm and comforting room , opting for a four - poster bed , crafted from aged mahogany and a painting above it . the bed is layered with linen shits and fluffy pillows , an inviting bed really for someone whose constantly running around .

she has a vanity table on the opposite side of the room , a large walk - in closet and her master bathroom just through that . there within she has a extra large ornate gilded mirror , which is mostly made of brass .

** below mia , an elderly couple lives in the ground apartment and who also have the old kitchen of the palazzo . luciano and maria amato : a retired professor of literature and a traditional housewife respectively . they both are warm , friendly , charming and most definitely consider mia one of their children . they offer wisdom and humor in her life .... absolutely nothing will harm them for as long as she's there . **

[bahrtofane]

promises under the stars - jude pov

Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 

highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda

shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it

word count - 2.1K+

watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy

p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good

—————-

He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 

He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.

Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 

It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.

Do you even know that they've tried to sue?

He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 

But like most things in life, things get muddy. 

He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 

Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 

Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.

He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 

Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 

And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 

When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 

His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  

Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 

So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 

The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 

If only right.

He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.

This is the start of his own nightmare.

He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 

His mother all but pushes them together. 

“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 

He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 

There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 

——-

Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 

His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.

Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.

He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.

You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 

Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.

When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 

He always listened. He still would today. 

He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?

She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 

Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 

Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 

He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 

And he tells her this. 

He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 

Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”

And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.

The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”

Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 

And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 

“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 

She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”

“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”

She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.

“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “

He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 

He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 

Was nice seeing you.

He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 

I still see you. 

For Jude is a coward. 

——

You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.

Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 

And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.

But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

You're proud of him? You watched him? 

The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 

Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 

When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.

He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.

It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 

He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 

Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 

When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 

The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.

So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 

Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

10 Jikook Fanfictions Part 1

I said I'd make a list before the end of the year and I kept my promise. Now, it's difficult to choose, especially when I have more than 300 bookmarks and unfortunately I also started doing that some year and a half ago. Safe to say, there's probably plenty of good fics I read that are now lost. Anyway, enough with the boring chit chat, here's 10 random jikook fics in no particular order and most likely, several other parts will follow, probably next year 😉

1. Dead in the Water

It's been a couple of years since I read this and honestly, I barely remember much, but what I do know it's that it had an impact on me. Usually fics that have death as a central theme end up resonating with me, but perhaps it's because I've always been attracted to more darker fiction. This one is gritty and there's a lot of pain and I must have cried a lot (those tend to stick in my head)

2. we're holding hands beneath the silver screen

I think this story is taking place in the 90s (you'll see that a lot of the fics I recommend are taking place in the past). I think I ended up reading everything ChimneyCricket wrote, but this one remained a favorite. Coming of age during a summer in Jeju in the 90s. Apart from the theme, it's the writing that made me stick with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of young adult stories. Or better yet, it's not something that I'd go to as a preference. When I do, it's more of an indulgence and thankfully, I found some writers (like this one) who can do a really good job with the genre.

3. Stockwell

Another writer that I've become a big fan of after reading one fic of theirs. And I think it might have been Stockwell that did it for me. I like that it's fanfiction with adult themes for an adult audience. And I also resonate with a lot of the cultural references and themes. I will also admit that this fic leaning into the enemies to lovers trope was a selling point because I'm a sucker for it. I can't help myself.

4. Burn for You

This is a complete self indulgence for me and I embrace it. Just like watching Bridgerton is a guilty pleasure for which I don't actually feel guilty (and the inspo for this fic). This story has everything and I must say the combination of lust, fear of revealing feelings, rumors, proper behavior and hidden romance is a lethal combination!

5. Light of a century

I might have recommended this story before, but it being inspired by Up on Poppy Hill is not just due to the plot, but the writing is able to evoke that studio Ghibli mood. This fic is to be read on a hot weekend afternoon.

6. Map of the Soul

This might be one of the most complex fanfictions I read due to the amount of research needed, but also in the depiction of political contexts and identity politics. Most of all, I like it because as much as relationships are a vital part of the story, there is an entire world surrounding the main characters. Events and other people that have also room to develop and not just remain props that advance the story.

7. Proceed with Caution

I don't know what snatchim did with this fic, but it's the only one I ever reread multiple times and I'll probably do it again in the future. I don't even reread books from my library, let alone fanfics. But Proceed with Caution did it for me. Perhaps it's because of the process of Jungkook inevitably falling for Jimin and even though it's a bad thing considering the context, it's so good. Maybe it's the image of Jimin with a bellybutton ring or maybe because the picture of hot Californian days in the 70s is so vivid, it feels like a nostalgic Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

8. Dishwater World They Said Was Lemonade

The description does not do this story justice because it's so much more than that. It's a canon compliant thriller with really complicated and complex characters and once again, a story meant for adults who understand that it's fiction. Unfortunately, judging by the comment section, a lot of people cannot distinguish betweem real people and characters. For those of you who might be fans of Korean thrillers, this story might be the one for you. It's also one of my favorite jikook fics as well.

9. souvlaki

Need I say more, considering the description? This is a self indulgence as well, but of a different kind. If I happily read tropey fics, I also like the ones that can sound like a uni course. Set during the 1997 FMI crisis in SK, any reader will get familiar with a socioeconomic and political perspective of that time through the eyes of the main characters. If you're only looking for romance, this one is not for you.

10. you wouldn't remember

I think littleflumes might be currently my favorite writer of canon compliant jikook. I think the author really captured their dynamic in its essence and the room left for fiction perfectly fills in the holes left in the last 2 years and up until the present. But what did it for me, not only with this story, but the others in the series as well, is that it's concentrated almost entirely on the two main characters, almost living in a bubble of their own in which their relationship can be explored.

[phoenixyfriend]

[squints at the MCU] Tony Stark has displayed more ability to weather interrogation and torture than Steve Rogers.

This is "(displayed more)(ability)," not "(displayed)(more ability)," to be clear.

(I know fiction’s depiction of torture is famously propagandafied, but in this case, it’s not about torture for information so much as physical traumas shown on screen.)

(Anyway, have a rant I did on discord the other day.)

It's not really so much about "resisted the urge to hand over information" as "survived a truly harrowing experience and still came out of it trying to do good."

Tony's very first movie involves getting repeatedly drowned while in constant pain from bomb injuries as a civilian contractor, and I… don't think I can remember anything even a little similar with Steve

I don't think he's ever been captured for long before breaking out? All his injuries are in active battle, not torture.

Like... Steve went through something horrible with the ice and losing Bucky, nobody can argue that. But I think it's very telling, sometimes, that movie Steve, especially 2012 movie Steve, is completely unaware of the absolute nightmare that Tony experienced in his solo movies.

I have so many feelings about Tony Stark being the epitome of "guy who was raised and manipulated into being a bad person by someone he trusted, and (after a horrible experience) attempts to be a better person, constantly and consistently, even if he sometimes fucks up in the execution."

And the way that some fics elide his experiences in cleaning up other people's messes (first Obadiah's, then Howard's) and how that doubtlessly compounded his many neuroses from fixing messes that he did actually create himself is just

I have a lot of feelings

And am also feeling a little bitter and salty about how Tony Stark's MCU incarnation reportedly took some inspo from Elon Musk... and a little petty and satisfied about just how drastically we've all be shown that Musk can never live up to the idea of 'billionaire with inherited wealth who actually, without hesitation, risks his own life to save millions' that he tried to use PR to achieve in the media with 'my electric cars are gonna save the world' stunts about things he didn't actually have a hand in inventing

I'm just reading some fics I really enjoyed when I was still in the YA fandom, and there was a reference to a line Steve said in the movies and I started thinking (again) about how frequently fans take lines from Steve or Sam about Tony as gospel, because they haven't seen Tony's movies, and the lines from the star spangled boys are contextually meant to show that they don't know jackshit about Tony or his life, because they are directly contradicted by multiple prior films.

Also like... how often Steve's traumas get explored (in fic) in a way that Tony's just... don't? At most, his issues about Howard get explored, but that's it.

There's this moment in CACW that people take as Accurate and it infuriates me.

Tony Stark: [Back in the cell.] Just look. Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes. [He shows a holographic image of Doctor Broussard.] Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong. Sam Wilson: That's a first.

Which, like... it's a bad movie. Obviously. But also

That line is immediately followed by Tony revealing that he's here to help the others and is sabotaging the security to make sure Ross can't take advantage, and yet fanfic still uses Sam's quote to promote anti-Tony agendas!

And 'Tony admits he fucked up' is. Like. Listen to me

Tony's first solo movie is fixing Obadiah's machinations. *

His second solo movie is fixing his Dad's fuckup.

His first team movie is fixing Thor's mistakes.

His third solo movie is fixing something that is only tangentially his fault.

It's not until AoU that the fuck-up is really his and his alone (well, not counting Bruce), and even then, even then, a massive portion of the blame is narratively laid at Wanda's feet!

And only then do we get this man, who has spent five movies seeing what happens when people don't take responsibility for their actions, or have anyone riding them to be ethical, who has criticized himself for neither having that oversight nor providing that oversight for people who snuck shit under his nose, that is when we get Tony weighing in on the side of "most countries on the planet are agreeing with this and it's for a reason, please work with me here, maybe we can get some of it rolled back to be less authoritarian and more reasonable."

* and removing himself from the military industrial complex he was raised and groomed to be in, but that's a system and not an individual act or a set 'villain'

Or as @firebirdeternal put it:

I would say that his first solo movie does have a large element of fixing his own mistakes too, it's just that his "mistake" was Trusting the Wrong Person and not taking personal responsibility for how his actions are affecting the world. (Which, he immediately does upon coming back from being captured? "We're going to immediately stop making weapons, because it's making the world worse" and then when Obadiah cuts him out of the company he goes "Oh. Okay no that didn't work, have to personally fix all this then.") and yeah it's just Tony have plenty of reasons to be on the side of "Someone needs to have oversight over this"

IM1 is such a good exploration of someone in privilege saying "this stops now" in a situation where they do have control because they have been confronted with their mistakes in a way that's unavoidable

It's also like, a great example of the fantasy of the Super Hero. Because Tony Stark, the businessman, even with all his wealth and knowledge, isn't able to stop the systemic harm being caused by His Own Company. One person isn't able to do that, even with the best of intentions. It isn't until he becomes something else, something more, a Super Hero, that he's able to make any kind of meaningful change on his own. Like IM1 is just a phenomenal movie. It understood it's subject material so incredibly well.

And people skip it and then take Steve and Sam at their word about Tony's strength of character and moral convictions and I scream.

THIS MAN FLEW A NUKE INTO A WORMHOLE WITH THE FULL EXPECTATION THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE

Yeah, like, that Jump on the Grenade mentality is something that he and Steve actually literally share.

They both had 'jump on the explosive to save people' moments in their introductory movies.

I find so much more strength and inspiration in stories like Thor and Tony, where they are inherently fuck-ups and were shitty people and they are trying so damn hard to be better, which is more Tony than Thor really, but both of them and their first movies are just. I find that more inspiring than Steve or T'Challa or any other hero who was already a good person and just Became Great.

Tell me about the person who has to struggle to find that moral choice. Tell me about Natasha dragging herself from her oceans of blood and Tony fighting the government over whether they have the rights to use weapons he's created and about Thor having to reckon with his family's power being born of imperialistic ravaging of other cultures.

I want to hear about the people for whom being good is hard and a choice they don't have to make, but then they make it anyway.

Also I stand by "I am Iron Man. [infinity snap]" being the most amazing bookend the MCU could have done and probably the best part of the Endgame.

[littleplasticrat]

Behind the canvas: Painting 'Finally getting that drink'

This is a post about some of my thoughts while painting Rugan's pin-up for this month. Some technical ideas, rambling and mild nudity below the cut.

Inspo and references

The pin-ups of Gil Elvgren are on the left, and 'Elspeth Resplendent' by Anna Steinbauer is on the right.

Elvgren is one of my favourite artists and I spent some time looking through a book of his collected work to see what ideas I could take for this pin-up project. The things that jumped out at me were:

The women felt like 'subjects' rather than 'objects'. There's some implication of hobbies, an inner life. They're often in the middle of doing something when they're captured on the canvas.

The subjects know they're being looked at, and they are taking it as an opportunity to flirt (signalled through eye contact, coquettish facial expressions and body language). It feels like a conversation between viewer and viewed.

Parts of the body may be exposed, but the eye is drawn back and forth between the subject's face and more titillating parts of the image.

I knew that I wanted to show Rugan in a similar setup, then; in this case, he's halfway through dinner and then catches sight of the viewer. His eye contact and smirk are flirtatious and mirror what you see of him in Act 1.

I initially wanted the pose to mirror Elspeth's in this beautiful Magic the Gathering planeswalker art by Anna Steinbauer, whose work I am obsessed with. Since I started taking art seriously, it's been my goal to paint for MtG, so I often try to study from artists whose illustrations I admire.

However, I didn't want to copy her pose or the composition of the piece. Don't get me wrong, I'm not above doing this - but I felt it just didn't work with the subject. The horizon line (shown in red) is very low. This is a gnome-level view of Elspeth. And I didn't want to place the viewer at the eye level of Rugan's penis.

I kept the composition similar in some other aspects though - there's still a T shape (pale green) that draws the eye to the focal point (pink). I did some sketches where Rugan is leaning forwards/sideways in the same way as Elspeth is, but I feel that this final leaning-back pose demonstrates more dominant body language and allows me to paint the musculature of his torso in more detail. This acts almost as a 'ladder' that draws the viewer's eye up and down between the two focal points of the nude variant.

Painting

I've already said quite a lot on a post that was supposed to be short, so I'll keep it brief here and write more about the painting of Gortash and Raphael (February and March respectively).

It's been quite a while since I've tackled such a detailed painting, so I had to do some research/studies to remind myself of some helpful rendering rules:

Veins beneath pale skin might look blue, but they're actually just a desaturated version of the same colour. There are other parts of this image where the veins are particularly lovely. I'll leave that to your imagination.

2. Highlights on leather are not as saturated as you'd expect until you get to the most reflective part of the material. Also, a good texture brush can work wonders.

3. I try to use as few layers as possible when painting, but I remembered the importance of putting design detail on a separate Multiply layer. Multiply allows the layer to modify/darken the layers below, so you can more easily add detail that follows the shape of the object. For example, the body hair or the snake's head going over the chest. If I were painting traditionally, I'd have had to put in a lot more effort. With Multiply layers, it's one colour. Nice! I got a great tip from @dustdeepsea about the blue-ish tint that tattoos, particularly older ones, can get. I felt like this massive tat is not something that Rugan has had done recently, so I added a Gaussian blur as well.

Well, if you got this far, thanks for reading! This is a great way for me to reflect and record what I've learned from the painting. I want to paint sexy stuff, but I also want to keep improving as an artist!

Keep an eye out for updates on my next pin-up, who will be Lord Enver Gortash. Time to practice using my hair/fur brushes 🥵🥵

[lemondoddle]

YOU BROUGHT YOUR DOG(BOY)

[I.D. seven photos of pencil drawings of marble hornets characters with dog/cat ears and tails. first is jay making a slightly worried face with cat ears, next is tim with droopy basset-hound style ears replacing his sideburns as he makes a mildly questioning look. third is alex with cat ears that are slightly pointed down and a flicking tail matching his unimpressed expression. fourth is brian who smiles with lab/retriever ears and a wagging tail, and fifth is jessica who makes a nervous face with greyhound ears and a pointed tail. image six is two doodles an a four panel comic. the doodles are of hoody with ear bumps at the side of his hood and alex hissing with flat ears. the comic starts with tim grabbing hoody by the collar and growling in his face, the next two panels are tim going "wait..." and sniffing hoody, who catches on and tries to pry himself out of tim's grip. the final panel shows tim's face in horrid realization saying "no..." the final image is a three panel comic of jay and tim post entry 74. in panel one tim helps a sleepy jay sit up while saying "alright, up you go." in panel two jay leans forward into tim, beginning to purr. tim makes a surprised and flushed expression. the final panel has tim's tail wagging rapidly as his whole face flushes and he thinks "at least he won't remember this..." while jay continues to purr. end I.D.]

Bonus stuff and rambling under the cut heehee

[I.D. a photo of pencil doodles and a screenshot of chat messages. the doodles consist of the operator with bunny ears, a full body drawing of catboy jay standing with his camera, an uneasy look on his face and tail puffed in fear, and a comparison of dogboy tim and catboy masky with an unequal sign, question marks, and a doodle of me making a confused expression going "hhhhh". the chat messages are all also sent by me and read as follows:

a drawing of tim and jay as an actual cat and dog in a standoff

damn marble hornets looks different than how i remember

(the rest are in all caps) no

no

bring him back give him back

end I.D.]

firstly, tim has caused multiple unnecessary conundrums in this scenario bc usually my catboy style has the human ears as well but i really wanted to do droopy basset hound ears for tim (to replace the sideburns and also i fell like thats more his vibe) but then the human ears would be covered by the dog ears so i had to just nix double ears entirely as well as dissonance bc tim is So dog-coded but masky is like literally a cat so like what do i do there. maybe ill just make separate catboy masky 🤭 the other thing also ties into dogboy tim bc ig kinda the whole inspo behind this is when i did my first watchthrough of the series i was CACKLING at the bit in entry 77 when tim is like "DROP IT" bc he sounds like someone scolding their dog 😭😭 which got into the conversation (hi cris) of the reason tim and jay dont get along is bc tim is dog coded and jay is cat coded, leading me to make the previously seen doodle, completely unaware of what was about to happen, and there's my reaction to That Scene in entry 80. if you read all this i award you one kiss on the forehead mwah

[uroboros-if]

Hello!! If it's not too much trouble, do you have any sites you'd recommend for fashion/outfit visuals besides Pinterest? I'm trying to cobble together some fashion visuals for the deity of eternity template but I've honestly just been fighting for my life during the past *checks clock*...... four hours 😔✊🏽

Underneath the readmore, I include both:

Fashion resources (links to posts with even more resources, lists, etc.)

How to find better images on Pinterest (Best done after looking at fashion resources!)

Resources

GENERAL resources - I was vehemently looking for a post I reblogged with stock free photos sites, but it's poofed ;; but I remember Pixabay, Unsplash and FreeImages being mentioned! Something very similar to Pinterest, but not copyright free, is WeHeartIt. These sites are very general, though, so it might be hard to find any actual fashion inspo.

European period-accurate fashion - Here is a post about a HUGE site where you can find period-accurate fashion! It also includes a link to an extremely extensive post on period-accurate fashion with resources such as books, blogs, sites, etc. My only gripe is that a majority of these resources are very eurocentric, but the post included a small non-western section for resources.

Uroboros-specific - I made a post all about the fashion of Uroboros here! This is good for finding fashion that is actually within Uroboros, but it is also great in general for finding keywords / search terms for fashion. You find the best resources by knowing the specific time period/fashion you want.

Hanfu - Traditionally worn by the Chinese, but it persists today! This is one of the fashion inspos of Uroboros. The sites suggested in this post will be more modern/inspired than period-accurate, but they are gorgeous! My preference is to use Taobao, a Chinese site for buying hanfu, but currently, I am unable to access it. Hence, this post has a list of non-Taobao shops.

Deel - traditional Mongolian clothing, also one of the inspiration for Uroboros (desert region). Mongulai is a Mongolian shop founded by a Mongolian man!

Once you find all the kinds of dresses you want, though, you might consider looking for them in Pinterest. You only need a general idea of what you want, not extensive knowledge on it--so you might not want to sift through actual books!

For that, equipped with knowing what you want, the best way to get a lot of images quickly is by

Finding things on Pinterest

Finding things on Pinterest is great for general ideas, but the best things you get on Pinterest is by being specific. I already know I want Rococo, Song style hanfu, and some paintings/vibes/aesthetic, so I'll start searching up those things.

Once I find an image I like and save it, Pinterest learns what I like and starts recommending me things through my feed that are even more accurate to what I'm looking for. And of course, clicking on that Pin will suggest other Pins like it, which sends you down the rabbit hole of finding things. This is how I get 90% of the images I have, with only 10% of it being directly searched.

Here's an example of just searching for vibes/aesthetic. I start my search with "ethereal aesthetic", nature aesthetic, and "marble statues aesthetic":

It took a couple of minutes of scrolling to find these after looking through the search results, since my search terms were relatively general.

After saving only a few images, I went back to the feed and it started suggesting me some pretty similar things:

However, when you know SPECIFIC things you want (after looking at the resources I suggested), you get even better results just from searching (in addition to having amazing suggestions from your feed).

Here, I looked up "Rococo paintings," "Mediterranean aesthetic," and "Song style hanfu":

These are pretty specific things, so they find specific things that I want! And after saving them, here is what my feed looked like--chockful of everything I wanted!

(Tip! If you want board-specific suggestions, aka only finding suggestions from a Pin board you made, go to that board and find "More Ideas"! ✨)

Closing thoughts

I hope this was all useful to you! ♥️♥️ I know it included a little more than you wanted, but I hoped it helped anyway! If you want me to help you look for things, drop me a DM, de-anoned ask (which I can answer privately to you), or even just an anon ask again, and I can help you find some keywords and resources to find. I love doing research!

Thanks for sending an ask 💕💕💕✨

[mothzarellaman]

actually you know what

shout out to that one project i started and never finished that was designing every dsmp character. i did a couple collages but never finished. here were the ones done so far. (w/ notes!)

I was just kinda going for the general fanon consensus on their design ngl. i wanted to go for more unique color pallete, i think, and while i haven't seen their stuff, i just put together smth that looked neat ngl

I don't really see any ant designs that like. do anything more than make him a anthro cat. maybe i dont see enough ant designs, who knows. i also never see him in glasses. so i like the concept of him having glasses that kinda have cat ears because i think they're cool lookin. also wanted some puss in boots inspo. wanted to lean into the 'frost' part of his name too, hence the blue-ish tones. and wanted to throw in some red velvet colors for obvious reasons.

I just kinda threw together design elements i've seen and liked in sam lol. i think creeper centaur sam slaps, and i like it when people draw cat like creepers because its funny. I also was trying to go for unique crowns for the like 5 people on the server that had them.

i wanted to go for like the reds and blacks that he's known for obviously, and tried to lean into the cult thing with the egg with some choices. the AI art at the bottom was added because this was before i realized how awful it was, because i thought it would be neat to play around with design choices i wouldn't have thought of otherwise. the spider lily is actually due to my concept of having every eggpire member associated with a certain part of a plant, with bad being the petals.

Again, another streamer i dont really know. just went for things that vibed.

as you can tell i had no ideas for callahan. maybe i was trying to go for like an android?? idk man. the electric mask was for the concept of instead of talking obviously , the words would just scroll across his face. deer cape because capes are cool.

as you can tell, i was losing motivation for cool designs and lacked inspiration. the land siren thing is actually my own concept/explanation for hybrids. basically a species thats highly adaptive that mirrors humans and often eats them. got land, marine, and air. all based off of animals that live there.

i think i just wanted to bully connor ngl. i think his sonic onesie should be like the og movie sonic. terrifying. he also gets participation trophies.

Wanted to go for like a big mix of stuff with dream because i had too many concepts. wanted some stuff from cat because, ya know, green and black. black mamba dream is cool, idk where i saw it, but its cool. i also like the concept of dream with butterfly traits to mimic moth/spider tommy. because butterflies are freaky but most people like em. the gold heart is because i associate that texture with the revive book. yada yada. this was also made before the dream drama came out.

kinda just what i said in the image. the words cut off are made and portal. don't got much else.

i remember seeing an object head for eret that had them as a nether star and its lived in my head rent free for a while. plus me and @espion7971 had an entire joke thing about eret being a god, so there's some vibes there. also the cosplay that isn't eret is by Ihaveakarrotproblem from the dsmp reddit. ( https://www.reddit.com/r/dreamsmp/comments/rnxly4/my_eret_cosplay/ )

and eryn is where i stopped. never finished him. wanted to go for like a parasitic nether fungus i think, to explain his bloody arm because i think it would be neat.

[apoptoses]

how did you stop comparing your writing to other people's? if you can please share some of what helped for you ❤️

So. First things first. Step away from the fic.

Seriously. We have to develop the skill of being objective about writing before we can stop comparing.

Fic typically has a certain kind of writing style so you've gotta diversify your portfolio of inspo. Take a week long AO3 cleanse. Pick up a few books at the library, watch that movie you've been meaning to watch. Read some books about writing technique and only once you mentally feel refreshed can you come back with a clear mind.

And if you stop reading about your blorbo and start reading about some character in book you don't care a ton about you can disconnect. We project onto our faves, it's just a fact. So when you're reading a shitload of fic about your fave you're thinking 'yes, this is how i see them, no this isn't how i see them' and then you get into the spiral of 'but this is how i wish i could write about them' and you're on a one way train to Sadness.

But! Picking up, say, Call Me By Your Name- Elio and Oliver are fun, but they're not My Guys. So I can look at their experiences in the book more objectively and then actually look at the writing style itself. It's like taking two steps back from a painting and suddenly seeing the whole image at once. If you're too close (physically and emotionally) you're cut off from the big picture.

Then when you pick up a writing technique book, you can start seeing the stylistic choices used in Thing You Just Read But Are Not Too Close To. Get back into your literary analysis mindset. Get objective.

Now that you've done your cleanse, come back to a favorite fic. Print it out or download it to your phone. Treat it like an academic exercise. Highlight what you like about it. Figure out what skills that writer had to work on- was it description of places? Was it word choice?

Put those skills into a list of things YOU, the writer, want to work on. And then research how to get better at them! Remind yourself that you're learning and then you'll find yourself comparing in a objective way and not a self-esteem based way.

Now on the psychological side-

Comparing yourself comes from being insecure in some way (I know this, I have been there, I have suffered a lot from it). You gotta work on your self talk.

I've said this before, but work on changing the way you think about your work.

this work sucks -> this story needs edited

X writes blorbo better than me -> I need to reread the source material and write some meta about this aspect of blorbo

X's fic is so much better than mine, I'll never be that good -> X has spent a LOT of time working on their fic and if I work hard my fic will be good too

It sounds silly but god, it works! If I catch myself saying a negative thing then I stop myself, figure out how to reword it, and say that thought to myself in the new, not harsh way. Your brain works like a muscle, you've gotta train it until it remembers these things and you catch yourself before you spiral.

Also, if the person you're comparing yourself to is your friend- ask them about how they do the thing in their fic you like so much!

Remember that they're human too and are likely hitting the stages of grief as they write, and they're here to support you. My most feared writers are now my friends and I go to them for support when I'm in the weeds of self esteem.

Finally, if comparison is stopping you from sitting down and writing at all, you gotta just push through that pain. Write something. No pressure, it can suck, just put a 100 words down. And then the next day do something different. And the next. Just a 100 words! Until something sticks and you feel like you can keep going with it. And then apply previous steps so you don't give up before you're done.

And then? Post it. Fuck it. Your brain might be telling you it's not as good as X's fic but someone is gonna come into your comments and gush about loving it. If you can't post it because you're proud, then post it for the validation. Just share the thing so it becomes habit.

Lastly.

It's fic. We're not competing. We're not getting paid. We're doing this for love of our characters and if you're comparing and struggling with negative self talk then you're not having fun. Figure out what it'll take for you to find the joy in fandom and then try again.

I hope some of this helps! It's so hard but being objective about it is the most important thing you can learn to do ♥ And I promise, your work is better than you tell yourself it is.

[jinxeddetectivve]

OFFICIAL PINNED POST !?!?

Hello !! I thought I'd make an intro for myself despite havvin similar things already. You can probably find this info elsewwhere but I feel it's quicker for people to see a pinned post than to dig through my blog.

BASICS: I am J.D. (abbrevviation of blog name) or Joe ! Wwhatevver makes you comfier > He/Him, It/Its > A Joe Tazuna HIGH. SYNNIE. > ENFP > TYPIN QUIRK USER ! (It isn't too crazy but I wwill translate if asked.) > POC > Genderfluid ! And Pan ! All the silly stuff !!

INTERACTION STUFF ?: > Don't be afraid to ask anything ! > Tone indicators are usually needed > The USUAL DNI but add: Other Joe syns, Any blogs that sexualize Martin Blackwwood and/or Jon Archivvist, people wwho don't respect xenogenders and neopronouns, and DSMP fans. > CRINGE CULTURE NOT ALLOWWED !! I am cringe but I am FREE

(Next part has coloured bits so it's easier to read the important stuff !) POSTS/TAGS: > I tend to only tag vvery common triggers ! If you need something tagged tho, I just need a reminder. I'm not perfect and don't alwways remember or think to tag some things. The format is usually "CW" instead of "TW". > SPOILERS. FOR EVVERYTHIN. IF I TALK AB SOMETHIN I WWILL SPOIL IT. > Sometimes I might reblog adult jokes or kind of nsfww content, but no actual porn, no actual explicit descriptions and I'll try to remember to tag evverythin accordingly (I wwill probably nevver rb actual images or gifs of any sort, I mean more like text posts) > This does not wwelcome nsfww interactions wwith me ! (Asks etc.)

ACTUAL TAGS: savve = It's obvious (NAME) tag = Wwhen I tag a moot ! so cool so cool so cool so cool = usually reservved for cool art, not consistant friend art/moot art = Also obvvious art inspo = thought it wwas cool also !! but this time it's inspo !!

OTHER NOTES: > I draww, but not often. I am not an art blog. > The fandoms I post about are NOT consistent, if you followw me for content for a specific media I probably wwon't post about it for long. > I'M A BIG NERD !! I LIKE MATH !! AND BIOLOGY !! STEM ALL THE WWAY FR FR > This doesn't excuse me from bein a silly little guy. > I block people all the time, and it's not alwways because I don't like someone. Sometimes I block people simply because I'm not in the fandom their blog is dedicated to, or because they ship something I don't like all that much.

Um also BLINKIES !!!! (I believve none of these require credits but if I'm wwrong I wwill correct this !) (FLASH WWARNIN OFC !!)

[domjaehyun]

not you responding to my ask and mentioning the ghostface!jaemin Scream ask bc both of those were me LMAO also now that you've mentioned the playgirl and stranger in my house fics THOSE ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES and I loooove the people you picked for them it was great visual aid and exactly how I'd want to picture those characters looking if that makes sense? I'm also the anon that mentioned that I love how you carry yourself so to add to that I think its kinda iconic to have this very whimsical bratz aesthetic blog and have both fluffy and dark content. Like it feels like it's for the girls and the gays and those who GET IT!! I was reading a while back the psychology of women enjoying reading/watching dubcon/noncon content and how it's not at all the same as if it was men who were watching it. Something about how women can enjoy a sexual fantasy that is dark because the purpose of it is it's a fantasy and that gives them control over it and that in turn can help heal some trauma. Idk about everyone else but I get deeply affected by any sort of news coverage or real stories that touch on that but I enjoy knowing in the female safe fantasy world we can have a safe space where were allowed to heal in our own way? Hopefully that made ANY sense lol And to answer you writing the characters another one of the things I love about this blog is were literally attracted to the same type of people so I never have to switch out a member in my head when im reading bc I love all your picks🫡🎀 IM SO SORRY THIS WAS LONG OMFG

hi hi hiiii welcome back to my inbox teehee 😁

TBH I KINDA THINK I KNEW IT WAS YOU I RECOGNIZED YOUR VIBES i added the parenthetical abt scream in the last message bc i wasn’t 100% sure it was you LMAO

pl4yg1rl was written at such an interesting time in my life whenever i think abt it i think abt how i used to go to the library like EEEEVERY day (a diff one. not the one i go to now) and i remember soooo vividly that while i was working on the fic i tried to update my ipad and the whole doggone thing shut tf down like an unresponsive, repeatedly rebooting block of metal. and i had to take this bus to best buy which was Fairly Far From Me and then they couldn’t fix it they were like “ur motherboard is fried” and i was like “ive had this thing for like a year and change. it hasn’t been that long” then they sent me to apple so i had to take a diff bus on a diff day to an apple store near me (read: it was not, in fact, near me at all) and the girl fixed it like immediately . (it had run out of storage and didn’t have room for the update but instead of Saying That, it just shut down. poor thing) she restored it to factory settings or whatever like she wiped it and made it brand new and i’ve been w my lovely baby going strong ever since 💖 but yeah that fic will always remind me of the time bc i was sooooo stressed and i was using my mom’s ipad in the meantime which just Felt Wrong :/ and unfamiliar :(

ANYWAY OMG THANK YOU i take finding my inspo photos veeeeeery seriously 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i be hunting fr just. SCOURING google images, pinterest, instagram, u name it. the things i go through…..reDONKulous. smh my head

omg heehee thank you fr OMG BRATZ…… i never had a bratz doll actually my mom didn’t like the way they were designed she said they were too fresh :P but bratz are such a vibe i should actually lean more into bratz than barbie they’re like . serving cunt yknow? and tbh EYE would like to serve cunt as well 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

and as for the psychology of it omg you just triggered something in me (i love psychology) (i’m literally going back to school for it hehe) i def get that !! like that makes a lot of sense 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ if i may be a bit tmi for a second i feel like for me….. i am into a very specific type of dubcon/noncon where . essentially … the victim is just like . worshipped and the aggressor gets so much satisfaction out of making the victim feel good and cum and whatnot 🙂‍↕️ like … think jav porn but like the . noncon ones . but just the foreplay mhm mhm. good stuff . i almost always exit whatever i’m watching as soon as a dick comes out i’m ngl 😭😭 and if i MAY psychoanalyze myself for a moment (ofc i can it’s my blog lol duh) i think it has a lot to do w like . the like . trauma from my childhood that like . has very much carried into my adult life to this day unforch :/ dark content can definitely be a source of comfort for people, myself included, and i just wish ppl were free to be more open about it without worrying about being judged :/ sigh

tbh i do not watch the news i do not keep up with the news at all actually …. i have a habit of despairing over things i can’t control and so i stopped looking at the news bc it’s almost always. Bad News 😭😭😭 and if i can’t do anything about it…. why do i need to hear about it…..you feel me? but you’re very valid your sensitivity to topics like that in the news like In Real Life is very understandable and honestly i would even say expected….

but yes yes i agree entirely 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ my personal way of healing via dark content is reading about and also writing very twisted takes on being loved/desired unconditionally 💖 (i wish i hadn’t ranted already bc i lowkey wanted to rant abt the specific genre of dubcon/noncon i’m into bc . well. *marge simpson voice* i just think it’s neat. but i also don’t want to reveal too much abt myself yknow? oh well soo la voo ig) it just hits different when the person doing the noncon-ning, like, Cares? about the person being noncon-ned like it’s SOOOO SICK N TWISTED BC SIR YOU DO NOT LOVE HER!!! UNHAND HER AT ONCE!! but they’re like dead set on making the person being noncon-ned enjoy it like they want them to feel GOOD ugh like they’re selfish…. but for your benefit….. but not…. are you following me??

OH PERIOD WE HAVE SIMILAR TASTE 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ LOVE THIS FOR US HEHE and DON’T APOLOGIZE IT’S OKAY I LOVED READING YOUR MESSAGE AND REPLYING TO IT 😁😁

OKAY IM GONNA ATTEMPT TO LOCK IN SIIIIIGH WISH ME LUCK 💖💖💖💖

[shadowqnights]

hi how do you come up with outfits for your mcd character designs and do you have any tips and tricks when comes to creating outfit?

hii ! i'm gonna be so real i am mostly going off of sheer vibes and not any kind of like. ruleset/knowledge but i do have some slight things that've helped me improve with outfit designs! this year i've been really determined to try and improve my art and a big part of that was clothing design so here's some stuff i thought about in that process:

layers!!! so many layers. especially with the climate some of my characters live in its important to think about what's going on underneath what's visible. i often start with things like under-clothes, tights/stockings, and build slowly over the top, layer by layer. it helps to visualise how you'd build the outfit as if you yourself are getting dressed ! this also helped me huuugely with armour, visualising what's going on underneath the actual plates of armour.

when you're researching inspo for designs it can also be helpful to try and visualise that process for the images you find too. what goes on first? what layers went on last? how would you replicate that in a drawing? it makes using refs a lot less complex for me at least because like. some of these outfits look complicated and busy and overwhelming at first glance. like okay there's a dark long-sleeve under that. and then this blouse, then skirt, then a corset, then this long cloak, then the jewels and clasps etc etc.

i don't usually claim to draw every mcd character outfit with a specific like. period of historical fashion in mind but i most regularly look up a very generic search of "medieval clothing/styles" to get a gauge of the Features and Styles i'm most drawn to. to me half of the fun is getting creative, not going for accuracy here. me, personally, i love big scarves, cloaks, long skirts / pants and corsets and include those in my character designs a LOT. pop a ref in your subview or whatever your program has and try and like. pick out your favourite elements of the fit. at first i was like. copying a lot of outfits exactly but like with time i've come to be able to pick and choose my favourite parts and mix match them together.

(a side note that pinterest is FLOODED with bullshit ai art , and other than the fact that it's disheartening and annoying also consider that those generators don't make *great* 1:1 outfit references because they have no sense of folds or how clothing actually like. Works. it blends pieces together and makes folds look uncanny so it's not really great to even look at to base an outfit on). so i find the most helpful clothing references to be on irl models / film and tv characters + even video games ..

i used to find that my character outfits were looking noticeably Plain, flat and boring because there was a lot of empty space. things like new textures like ruffles and folds can help with that, or quite literally just adding on more layers. belts, loops and clasps and jewelry... accessories/decorations are my best friend to make an outfit look more full and busy. my obsession is like. threads/loops with beads , coats / big scarves, satchels/bags, remembering what a character would need to carry around every day or what accessories they would have. etc sasha might carry around potions / supplies. the guards will need a place for their swords. i also like to note practicality for what a character is going to be getting up to and their contexts, and i often design or imagine 2 core outfits at least in my mind - a casual outfit and a 'going out' outfit. especially helpful for the guards because i am NOT drawing armour every time sorry boys. katelyn has a training/casual outfit and her more formal jo9 fits.

honestly. with full transparency. Me and my closet. idk if my friends would agree but i'd like to think i have a decent sense of style that translates well to what i like to see my characters wear. even so . surprisingly, just taking a delve into my closet and picking out my favourite clothes helped hugely with thinking about character fits . for mystreet definitely considering its way more modern but actually also for mcd, since some of my clothes translate well. so there's that.

again these are things that helped me a little so idk if they would help anyone else but that's what i did when i started locking in to try and get better at my character design . and now i love drawing clothes so here's hoping . thankies baii <3 <3

[kanzakurawrites]

(okay but Anastasia brainrot is relatable)

So, Damien and Dasha are relatively new characters and I'm still fleshing them out.

Alina on the other hand..

First things first, Anastasia's kingdom (i'm still working on its name) isn't as peaceful as King Beast wants it to be. Taking a tiny bit of inspo from history, plus Disney logic, there's a mix of people who live in the country. For those who remember the Romanov's, they don't trust her as much. They don't like magic either, which makes living in Auradon hard.

Others just don't like having a queen in a kingdom they never lived in.

So this kingdom does not fit Beast's image, and he doesn't like it. It also means that Anastasia and Dimitri's kids were raised knowing that they need to be able to fight, they need to seem strong and convince these people that they are good leaders, good for the country.

Alina:

Appearance: Dark auburn, borderline brown, curls. Blue eyes. She's a little bit shorter than her mother.

Alina grew up trying to fit the perfect princess imagine. She goes out and interacts with the people, with a guard. She volunteers at shelters, spends days with the elders, works in the palace gardens and kitchens and connects with the palace workers. She honestly doesn't know what she'd do if she didn't have these self-assigned responsibilities.

But she gets overwhelmed. She loves being alone, to have just a little bit of time to breathe. She likes nature, and does love winter, mostly because she's just use to the cold. And while its old fashion, she loves to write letters and is known for handwritten notes and well thought out gifts.

She's also surprisingly sassy when she wants to be.

When it comes to her family, she's tried to take as much weight as she can from her parents and siblings. Anastasia and Dimitri aren't always happy with how much she takes on, but she's too stubborn to stop.

As for fighting? She's trained with a sword and hand-to-hand combat. She was at school at the same time as Shang Jr. and they'd spar together.

And while she didn't always have time to spend with others, she did enjoy hanging out with Erica, despite the fact that Erica has magic. Anastasia and Dimitri did not raise her to fear it, or hate it, but to be aware of it.

Damien:

Appearance: Brown hair, blue eyes. At 14, is the same height as his mom.

Damien is the heir and he will become the Tsar. He's more blunt than either of his sisters, or even his parents. He just doesn't see the point in beating around the bush, or pretending to be something he's not. Actually, "fake people" bug him so much. So, ya know, he really doesn't like Beast.

But he's not heartless, and he doesn't expect people to be perfect. He fully understands that people are not perfect, he just doesn't like hiding behind masks.

Between that and his snark, it can make him hard to get to know.

He's also not a "I said it so believe it", he has to do his own research. There are very few people where he'll just take their word, and currently he is related to all of them.

Whenever he's home, he spends time training with the soldiers. At school, he trains with Moira and they swap techniques. He's also really good at getting information on people, and at getting documents. Dimitri might have taught him a few things against Anastasia's wishes.

Another one of his hobbies, one he does just to relax, is playing the piano. He hasn't dedicated as much time as some do, but he still enjoys it.

When it comes to friends, he has a hard time making them. Out of the kids at Auradon Prep, the only one he might truly call a friend is Moira.

As for his family - he is very close to them. He loves his sisters, and his parents. Some of his favorite childhood memories is exploring the city with his dad, reading with his mom, and playing outside with his sisters.

Dasha:

Appearance: Light Auburn, border strawberry blonde, hair. Brown eyes. Currently a good half-foot shorter than her mom.

Dasha is the most open of the children. She's not afraid to be snarky and sassy when around others their age, although she does behave in public. She's pretty friendly towards people, but she is a bit hesitant when it comes to magic. She could probably talk your ear off about anything.

Like her brother, she doesn't trust King Beast, or the curriculum at Auradon Prep when it comes to history. She's been taught to do her own research, and that's what she does.

While she can defend herself, she's not as skilled as her siblings yet. She prefers using a dagger to a sword.

She loves the violin and spends a lot of time practicing.

One of her friends is Sascha.

A lot of her childhood was spent with her great-grandmother, who passed away when she was ten. She'd sit and listen to her stories, real and fictional, and wears a locket her great-grandmother gave her all the time.

She loves her siblings, but sometimes she feels like she can't catch up with them and all that they do, and struggles with the feeling of belonging.

None of them ever miss family time. Every evening before bed (when they're home, of course) is spent with her parents and siblings. They'll talk about their days, play games, dance. They just like to be together.

Descendant's Character List Part One: AK's

I have been asked to make a list of characters who appear in my fics, both book canon and ocs, so... I apologize for how long this is going to be. (The only characters excluded on this list are those who appear in the movies).

This is everyone born before the first Descendants movie. I may add on to this list as time goes on and more characters are created. All ages are the ages at the time of D1. I headcanon that the first movie takes place in March-April of 2015, or A.C. 20

Alice:

"Ally" Allison (Canon) - First seen in Wicked World. I made "Ally" be a nickname. Longs to be a detective, and works at her mother's tea shop. 15

Aladdin & Jasmine:

Prince Aziz (Canon) - First mentioned in The Isle of the Lost. 17

Prince Amir (Canon?) - His name is said during the Tourney Game in the first movie, spelled Amir according to subtitles. His jersey says Emir, but I went with the "A" spelling and made him Aladdin and Jasmine's son. 15

Princess Jamila (OC) - The baby of the family. 12

Anastasia and Dimitri:

Princess Alina (OC) - 18

Prince Damien (OC) - 14

Princess Dasha (OC) - 13

Anna & Kristoff:

Prince Aleksander (OC) - Heir to Arendalle. His friend group consists of Pierre, Emery, Ruby and Erica. 18

Prince Aksel (OC) - Best friends with Elsie and Ben, good friends with Reiner. 16

Prince Asmund (OC) - 13

Princess Kari (OC) - Best friends with Eira. 9

Princess Klara (OC) - The youngest of the family, and friends with Clementine Charming. 7

Ariel & Eric:

Princess Melody (Canon) - First appeared in The Little Mermaid 2. She's quite a bit older than her little sisters, and is married with kids of her own (all ocs who won't really appear much). The only reason she hasn't taken over her parents kingdom was at King Beast's request to wait until Ben became High King. 32

Princess Abi (OC) - She is older than Ebba by only 6 minutes, but unlike her sister she doesn't have as strong of a call to the sea. With that said, she is still a mermaid. 16

Princess Ebba (OC) - Ebba loves the sea and everything to do with it. 16

Aurora and Phillip:

Prince Pierre (OC) - Audrey's older brother and heir to Aurora and Phillip's kingdom. He is dating Ruby Fitzherbert. 20

"Cinderella" Ella and Kit:

Princess Karine (OC) - Chad's younger sister. She's best friends with Reiner. 14

Prince Emil (OC) - He has not yet started at Auradon Prep. 11

Princess Clementine (OC) - 6

Elsa:

Erica (OC) - Inherited her mother's powers, but grew up in the Arendalle castle with her cousins at King Beast's "request". 19

Eira (OC) - Best friends with her cousin Kari. Unlike her sister, Eira got to be raised in Northuldra. She has powers similar to Elsa's. 10

Esmerelda & Phoebus:

Zephyr (Canon) - First seen in Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. Best friends with Li Shang Jr. 19 as of D1

Genie & Dalia (From the live action Aladdin)

Lian (Canon) - Seen in the live action Aladdin movie. 22

Omar (Canon) - Seen in the live action Aladdin movie. 21

Jordan (Canon) First seen in Wicked World. 15

Hercules and Megara:

"Herkie" Hyllus (Canon) - Mentioned in the books. I made "Herkie" a nickname while naming him after on of mythology-Hercules son's. 16 as of D1

Makaria (Kinda Oc) - Named after one of mythology-Hercules daughters. 15 as of D1

Merida & Feradach (Bravely book):

Marette (OC) - The eldest of Merida's triplets. Marette is a dreamer, and loves to be out in the highlands. 15

Moira (OC) - 1 hour younger than Marette, and 30 minutes older than Maisie. Moira is a warrior, she's trained to be one. 15

Maisie (OC) - The youngest of the girls and the most "lady-like". 15

Mulan & Shang:

Li Shang Jr (Canon) - Mentioned in Rise of the Isle of the Lost. 19.

Rapunzel and Eugene:

Prince Emery (OC) - Heir to Corona. 19

Princess Ruby (Wicked World) - She's in her last year of school and dating Pierre. 18

Prince Reiner (OC) - The heir to the Dark Kingdom. He's Elsie's fraternal twin, and his best friend is Karine Charming. He's also good friends with Aksel and Ben, partially due to his sister's friendship with them. 14

Princess Elsie (OC) - Reiner's fraternal twin sister. She's a lot more bubbly than her twin brother, and is best friends with Aksel and Ben. 14

Princess Rosalind (OC) - She was a surprise baby and has her older siblings all wrapped around her finger. Along with most of Corona as well. 5

Robin Hood & Maid Marian:

Rowan Hood (OC) - 18 as of D1.

Mason Hood (OC) - 16 as of D1

Roger and Anita Radcliffe:

Rebecca (OC) - 15 as of D1

Andrew (OC) - 13 as of D1

Snow White & Florian:

Princess Sandra (OC) - 14

Princess Sascha (OC) - 8

Tiana & Naveen:

Princess Teresa (OC) - 17

Prince Tyrone (Canonish?) - His name is on a Tourney jersey, I just gave him parents and a personality. 16

Princess Naomi (OC) - She's best friends with Carolina, her Aunt Charlotte's daughter. 14

The Madrigals (Yes, I'm putting them all together):

Dominique (OC) - Dolores and Mariano's oldest. 8

Felix (OC) - Dolores and Mariano's son, named after his grandpa. Nicknamed Fe. 6

Ines (OC) - Isabella's oldest. 6

Emmanuel (OC) - Luisa's oldest. 6

Soraya (OC) - Isabella's youngest. 4

Catalina (OC) - Camilo's daughter. 4

Mercedes (OC) - Dolores and Mariano's daughter. 3

Lorenzo (OC) - Luisa's son. 2

Natalia (OC) - Camilo's daughter. 1

Others:

Derek (Canon) - First mentioned in Escape from the Isle of the Lost. Dopey's son, Doug's older brother. 18

Tiger Peony (Canon) - First mentioned in Return to the Isle of the Lost. 17

Brendan (Canonish) - He's on the Tourney team, I just gave him parents. Son of Big Nose and Assunta (Tangled: The Series). 17

Colton (OC) - Charlotte la Bouff's son. 17.

Carolina (OC) - Charlotte's daughter. Best friends with Naomi. 14

Arabella (Canon) - Seen in Rise of the Isle of the Lost, Arabella is one of Ariel's nieces. 14

Lorne (OC) - The daughter of Leezie, a character from the book Bravely. 14

Callum (OC) - The son of Leezie, and younger brother to Lorne. 12

Graham (OC) - Leezie's youngest child. 7

Pin (Canon) - Mentioned in Return to the Isle of the Lost. Son of Pinocchio. 13

Artie (Canon) - Mentioned in Return to the Isle of the Lost. Son of Arthur. 11

Marin (OC) - Daughter of Melody, Ariel and Eric's oldest grandchild. 9

Malik (OC) - Son of Melody. 7

Mahalia (OC) - Daughter of Moana. 8

Finlay (OC) - Son of Hamish, one of Merida's brothers. 3

Murdoch (OC) - Son of Hubert, one of Merida's brothers. 2

Amelia (OC) - Daughter of Hamish. 2

Ean (OC) - Son of Harris, one of Merida's brothers. 1

I'm sorry if this is confusing! And with how long it is, there's not much to say about all the characters. But feel free to ask me about any of them, or even give suggestions for other Disney characters who might have kids!

[searidings]

hi faye! i was wondering, what was your inspiration for "if the lord don't forgive me" ? gotta say that it's been eons since i cried over a fic so thank you for providing that sweet relief!

hello! so for that fic inspiration struck months ago in the form of hozier's line "if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my baby and my babe would have me" from work song and i just pictured kara having to make a choice that goes against rao's teachings and everything she stands for as supergirl and then doing it anyway, for lena. as with all my longer fics, i usually get the idea for the central conflict first but don't know how im going to resolve it until i come to write it, and then i try and put myself in the character's shoes and work chronologically through how i imagine they'd react

so basically this fic started because of me staring out the window listening to hozier and thinking shit, if kara lost everything she thought she stood for but she still had lena, how would she react? then i started thinking about the final season and how i'd like kara's arc to conclude since i think she has a lot to reconcile between being supergirl and still having a life as kara, and this evolved into the perfect way to explore that!

[atlabeth]

🍂 rafe cameron and rings

summer lover (but maybe more) - rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

a/n: SO first post of the celebration lol sorry that im starting like. in the middle of the asks but this came to me and i have to take inspo whenever i can get it rn 😩😩 this is my first time writing for rafe so i hope its not a complete mess el oh el

also thank you for sending in so many requests im sorry that they're probably going to take a while but you have my heart<3

warning(s): angst if you squint but basically all fluff

wc: 698 (im like damn this is so short then i remember they are blurbs 🤡🤡)

It felt like Rafe had been staring at the ceiling for hours, but counting the chips in the paint was doing nothing to clear his mind. His bed felt so empty — so wrong — without the warmth of your body next to his, it was a miracle sleep had been able to find him at all.

It really pissed him off, how the two of you had finally found your footing and figured out what you were, just when you had to leave. Long distance relationships were hard no matter who they involved, but Rafe knew that he was going to drive himself insane thinking about you out there without him, all the guys that weren’t him that would get to be with you when he was all the way in North Carolina.

He really hated your mom’s job.

One heaving sigh later, he managed to get himself out of his bed and got to work putting himself together. A shockingly cold shower wasn’t even enough to break him out of the mood he was in, and Rafe had a feeling it was going to be a much more common experience now that you were his out of state girlfriend than just a girl friend.

He ran his hand through his damp hair, effectively ruining any styling he had done but not really caring at the moment as he went over to his desk to get his watch. His brows creased when he opened the drawer, though; his watch was in its usual place, but there was something extra — a ring with a folded note next to it. Rafe took the paper out and his eyes scanned over it quickly after opening it.

babe

no matter how many times i do this, it never gets easier and i wish i could stay with you after the summer ends. now that we’re actually dating you’re going to have to deal with a metric fuck ton of texts and calls and facetimes because im not going a day without seeing your cute ass after pining after it for so long. but it still doesn’t feel like enough so i got us these and snuck them in your drawer before i left yesterday :-) it’s a promise ring and i have a matching one. i don’t know about you but im never going to take it off so every time you wear it we’ll be connected. it makes me feel like im with you even though im in the middle of fuckin nowhere montana. i don't get it, out of all the states why did it have to be montana?

wish i was with you but ill be thinking about you every day<3 you better be thinking of me or i'll come back just to cry in front of you

your fav

Rafe chuckled as he slipped the ring onto his finger, then picked the letter up. He read it a couple times, a small smile spreading across his lips from the way he could hear you saying every word. Ever since your mom had gotten that new job you had been splitting your time between the OBX and wherever she ended up, but now that things were more serious between the two of you he found himself missing you a hell of a lot more than usual.

So much so, that he found himself inadvertently conjuring up thoughts of a more permanent ring, one bearing a diamond or a sapphire or an emerald or whatever stone you liked the most—

Rafe shook his head, stretching his fingers out as he tried his hardest to push it aside. You had both only graduated high school two years ago, and with the way you were always going back and forth between states and the fact that you had only been dating since the beginning of the past summer, and with everything that college brought, it was a stupid idea.

Images of rings were only replaced with white dresses and bands and he couldn’t help but smile. It was an absurd thought, but Rafe also knew that he was completely, irrefutably, hopelessly in love with you. That was enough for any type of logic to be pushed aside.

…Next summer couldn’t come soon enough.

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee

[notnctu]

POV | PART TWO

━ ❝ i’d love to see me from your point of view.❞

❀ lee donghyuck x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, fluff! angst, (optional smut is marked with ****) ❀ details - best friends to lovers!au, college!au, ft. best friend mark, slice of life?, inspo by pov by ariana grande ❀ word count - 6.1k ❀ warnings - swearing, dangerous reckless behavior, fingering, penetration, public?sex?, unprotected, slight dirty talk ❀ synopsis - Donghyuck gradually falls in love with you, his best friend, through unprecedented intimate moments that reveal more than what meets the eye and a drunken shared kiss on your birthday makes him realize how hard he’s fallen for you. You’re oblivious to it all, trying to indulge and seek a one true love through bad tinder hookups or men you meet at the club, all to only end in self doubt that Donghyuck has to reconcile. And he always tells you what you need to hear, while also leaving out the part where he so badly wishes you can love yourself the way he loves you.

❀ a/n - make sure you read the first part as it’s a continuation! please please leave me feedback, i would really appreciate it :) this is going to be my last long fic for the time being! thanks for dealing with my spam for the past few weeks after months no of writings <3

READ PART ONE

Donghyuck thought about that kiss every night since it happened, yet knowing you didn’t do the same. How unfortunate it was, when he panicked waking next to you in the morning and wondering if you were to confront him about it. However, there was nothing, no follow up. You didn’t remember it and he couldn’t tell if the sigh that left his mouth that morning was out of relief or despair. 

Regardless, that became his epiphany and the more his love for you grew, the more he wished to be around you for all his days. Donghyuck jumped at every text message, picking up the phone to see if it was you and noting the disappointment in his heart whenever it wasn’t. He found himself smiling whenever your name was brought up, fondly thinking of how you make his heart race. 

The moments that you were together, he swears on every universe that he’s the happiest he’s ever been. There’s something about you that makes him want to believe in love, and it’s not because of your unrealistic desires to find one. As selfish as he came to be, he wanted you all to himself and to be the sole reason behind your smiles.

“No Mark?” Asking as you hop into Donghyuck’s car, the clock on his dash reading the red digital numbers 2:12 A.M. 

“Why can’t we just hang out for once?” He whines, but hopes that it’s playful enough to where you can’t tell that he’s actually serious. Donghyuck hears your melodic chuckle and everything inside him rumbles with glee and satisfaction. 

He steals quick peeks over at you in the passenger seat, greedily taking in your appearance. “That’s not exactly how a throuple works, but I’ll let it pass. Mark never has time for us anyways.” 

There is something so intimate about the late nights; the outside world is dead in its sleep and vulnerable to chaos. The streets are completely empty and it truly feels as if it’s you two against the city. It brings no regulations, easy escapes, staying up all night to feel something the day can’t give you. 

You are the perfect person to spend them with. You’re the very definition of a good feeling, where he’s forgetting all his bad days and soaring through the heavens. The most accurate human form of excitement, the adrenaline and sweetest thrills that run throughout his body. 

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do…” As Donghyuck pulls into a gas station parking lot, the small convenient store is brightly lit with a blinding white sign that reads a popular chain establishment. 

Hyuck blinks at you curiously, head tilt and waiting for you to finish your sentence. Getting out of the car, you stand on your toes and rest your chin on the roof of his car to speak directly to him, “you know that big intersection over on 34th Boulevard?” He catches the mischievous twinkle that shines in your eyes and a grin so fearless fits your face perfectly.

He nods, spinning his car keys on his finger and walking up to the store. But he’s looking back at you with eyes that ask for you to proceed with him, and you’re running towards him with a sudden youthful energy and a jump in your step. 

Your hand latches onto his arm and his gaze drops momentarily to follow it, “I’ve always wanted to just run down the middle of it. To run down a busy traffic area when it’s empty, knowing that this would be the only opportunity to do it without getting run over.” 

“Is that what you’re suggesting we should do next?” Hyuck opens the fridge and grabs his favorite prepackaged ice cream cone. Your grip on his sleeve tightens, your dazzling eyes never leaving his.

He hands you a random popsicle and you take it mindlessly, your train of thought still trying to convince Hyuck to embark on achieving this new thrill of yours. “If you didn’t have anything else planned…”

“Am I some Fairy Godmother? Granting your wishes to come true?” Using sarcasm to hide his undying desire to scream yes! may be the best thing he’s learned to utilize. However, you don’t need to beg any more when a small smile curves at his lips. He’s more than convinced.

“Ah, a happy couple. You two look great together.” The rather talkative cashier compliments while he rings up the icey treats. 

Just before Hyuck can clarify, you’re pulling him closer by the arm and using your fake saccharine smile. “The best boyfriend ever!” His throat freezes, but he’s following your lead closely. Confusion wandering his thoughts, but heart swelling at your usage of the word boyfriend to reference him. 

The friendly stranger laughs wholeheartedly at your giddy act, completely falling for your overplayed nature of a lovey dovey girlfriend. “He always buys me what I want, like this ice cream. He knows it’s my favorite.” You blink innocently up at him, but he finally understands your malicious motive.

Shooting a glare at you, he complies silently and pulls out his card to pay for both of your treats. “Right. Anything my baby wants.” He says the pet name so easily that it shocks him a bit. 

“Hey, you’re a good man.” The clueless cashier smiles even wider and prints the receipt. With a simple gratitude, you both exit the store and you’re laughing the loudest form of mockery.

Jumping into the car, Hyuck is quick to roll his eyes. “He always buys me what I want.” He imitates your previous statement with a silly voice. “I can’t believe you robbed me.” 

The ridiculous scheme actually managed to work, leaving your stomach to hurt from the intense fit of giggles. “My baby? Where did you learn that?” You say between your spurts of laughter.

Heat rises up his neck, slightly embarrassed. “So what? Nicknames are cute.” He admits bashfully, while shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. 

Your chuckles die down and you’re leaning over the middle console to get a closer look of his expression. “Really? Didn’t think you were the type. You never used them with your exes.” 

“Around you.” A cringe runs down your spine when you witness Hyuck bite his ice cream, settling back in your seat with a grumble.

“Pet names in private.” Now, his palms grow a bit slick with perspiration. “That’s endearing.” Unwrapping your melting popsicle, you don’t probe him more about the subject. Instead, Hyuck turns up the stereo to drown out any more talk about romantic gestures.

After several rounds of finding street parking, Hyuck finally swerves into a spot situated just before the large six-way intersection. The traffic lights blink in view at the end of the street and in the darkness, there are no cars around. An unfamiliar scene, this place is nothing but a wide open road with five lanes that meet in the middle and lead to six different directions. The white painted lines that divide up the road are as chaotic as it looks during the day filled with traffic.

Nonetheless, you are right. There is no other chance to see it so dead, so empty, so free. 

And you’re already hopping out of the car that Hyuck breaks his daydream and hurries after you. Standing the middle of the road is a dangerous scheme, yet these are the thrill seeking moments that you crave too well. 

Extending your arm out and your palm facing the night sky, you grin enticingly at Hyuck to join you in the middle of the chaotic lines and the adrenaline picks up within him. He, too, matches your smile and lets every form of enthusiasm fuel him. 

“Race you to the end.” Hyuck begins bolting down the long runway, causing you to scoff in disbelief at his sudden challenge. 

The wind that takes flight against his body is crisp on his skin and driving his strands into a wild mess. Turning around, he sees that you’re quick on his tail. However, the one thing that catches his eye… the one thing that makes this moment another one of your most beautiful ones is the utter bliss and peace in your facial expression. 

Eyes are closed and arms are spread out as if you’re letting the wind carry you away. The air slips between the spaces of your fingers and the night is filled with nothing, but your gentle out of breath giggles. 

Donghyuck stops in his tracks right under the colorful traffic lights at your astonishing image. And if you are to open your eyes, you’ll see the marvelous image of your sun waiting for you in the middle of the largest intersection of the city with his mouth slightly agape and marked under a trance.

An exasperated sigh escapes as a puff of smoke and his heart works extra hard to pump oxygen in his veins. In his perspective, the excellent city skyline at the horizon remains your background and you’re running toward him with a breathless joy. Another splitting breathtaking image that will live in his mind for as long as he knows you.

So he throws caution to the wind and though it feels too good to be true, he loves his best friend more than anyone he’s ever come across.

By the end of your rendezvous, you two find a secret rooftop to fully enjoy your silent city. Standing side by side, you both lean with your elbows on the ledge. 

There is something so unspoken and intimate about this very moment, where existing in each other’s presences becomes wholly more comfortable than anything in the world. And this safety allows for vulnerable secrets to spill, for questions that your heart has always been afraid to ask to fall from your lips. 

But you’re not here with just anybody. Donghyuck probably knew what was already on your mind, he just needed you to speak them into existence.

“Hyuck, do you think I’m unlovable?” 

Perhaps, it’s the intimacy that allows for him to talk more confidently about how he views you. Heart over mind, he scoffs in disbelief. “Absolutely not. You’re the most lovable person I know! From your happy giggles to your overall easy going aura. We’re not perfect people, but you’re worth every glance and every praise. I wanted to be with you the very moment you made me laugh.” 

Donghyuck passionately rambles on about your attributes and everything you’ve allowed him to experience over the years of your friendship. While he’s always been there for you, you’re always by his side and making sure he’s living a memorable life. He thanks all his sweetest memories to you, that you are the most impactful person of his entire college experience.

“I came to college thinking I’d have my nose in textbooks all day long, but you fell into my life like an opportunity to escape. I love my nights trying to crush Mark on the leaderboards, but I’d give that up any day to run down a major intersection in the middle of the city with you.” 

With a playful soft chuckle, you say something that practically makes his heart stop and regret oversharing. “You know, from how you describe me… it almost sounds like you’re in love with me.”

“Maybe I am.” He bites the inside of his cheek, unsure what suddenly overcame him. His heartbeat pounds in his ears and he’s anticipating your response, trying every way to decipher the quizzical look on your face. Nevertheless, your hesitation causes him to panic and he intercepts before you can respond. “I meant that as your friend.” 

His heart drops into the pit of his stomach, gaze averting away from you. Lies. Lies. More fucking lies. He should’ve waited to see what you would’ve said. 

Nodding knowingly, you lightly place your hand over his. The warmth of your touch soothes his aching and disappointment. Why is he hurting from a simple look? “I know.” He can’t tell what’s worse, the fact that you truly believe he only loves you as a friend or that you saw right through him and are trying to let him save face. 

“Something happened the night of your birthday that I think I should tell you.” Hyuck sighs out all his frustrations. 

He pulls his hand from underneath yours, “you asked me to kiss you as a birthday favor.” There is no confidence to watch your reaction, his eyes remain focused on the dark city. 

Instead of a painstaking rejection, you laugh wholeheartedly and somehow, he feels much lighter. “And did you?”

“How could I say no to you on your birthday?” Peering over, your fingers softly graze your lips and a wandering look is present in your dazed stare.

“It’s not the first time we’ve kissed, Hyuck.” Smiling at him, Hyuck looks cluelessly at you and doesn’t recall another time. He would’ve remembered. 

“Guess who I stole that same request from?” Your eye lashes bat firmly at him and he gulps at your implied question. There was no way.

“Me? When?” This all causes him to rack his brain of lost files, something he must’ve missed.

Sighing, you bid him a kind smile. “Your birthday party a few months ago. Drunk out of your living mind, you pulled me privately into the kitchen and asked if I could kiss you as a birthday gift.” 

Fuck, no wonder why he couldn’t remember. He didn’t remember a single thing from that night. “It was right after my break up.” 

Nodding, you affirm his realization. “You told me that you felt so lonely, and somehow…. someway… I’ve always made you feel seen. Perhaps, you do the same for me and my drunk ass was bold enough to ask for a similar request.” 

But did you kiss him as if you loved him? With the same amount of love that he did the night of your birthday? 

Nonetheless, you shrug off the topic and move on from it all. “We should go, the sun comes up in a few.” 

Hyuck notes this odd detail. You’re not one to end the nights so abruptly, so it almost seemed as if you didn’t want to speak more about it. 

Perhaps, you did kiss him like you meant it but every fear in your body about loving your best friend stops you from admitting it all. 

Because you shouldn’t love your best friend, but something deep down has always wanted to.

How ridiculous he was to believe that you could ever possibly share the same feelings as him. How foolish he felt the moment you burst into his apartment announcing how you’ve finally found the one after another random Tinder date. 

It’s as the night on the rooftop a week ago didn’t even exist or mean anything to you. But that night ate him up alive, to the point where he sought out love counseling from Mark.

“Oh dude, this is serious.” Mark watches Hyuck pace the room, double around the floorplan with his head in his hands with utter frustration and confusion. You’re the only thing that’s been running through his mind the last few days. 

He grunts and rolls his eyes at how Mark’s face had fallen sullen. “I practically confessed everything I loved about her. It’s pretty serious.”

Mark stands and stops Hyuck by the shoulders, looking dead into his eyes. “I’ve liked her before too and would have done some dumb act to get her to like me back. I get it, Hyuck. So, what do you want to do?”

Donghyuck initially scoffs and tears away from his best friend’s intense stare, “of course you liked her too.” His voice fades out at the end of his sentence. “Mark, I like her so much it’s hard to look at anyone else. She’s…”

“Mesmerizing?” Mark finishes his sentence with a small proud grin on his lips. 

Hyuck couldn’t hold the ridiculous laugh that escapes at how smug Mark looks, but then a silence falls over him. He realizes how perfect that word is to describe you. You are every dazzling trance he’d fawn under. 

“It’s wrong, Mark. She’s our best friend, I can’t ruin us.” Hyuck slumps his shoulders forward and a pout extends. His eyes are wandering the ugly carpet but he’s thinking about every moment you’ve smiled. 

“How did this happen in the first place? I thought you never would’ve liked her…” Mark’s question has Hyuck raking his brain to find his epiphany. “It’s not about your ex, is it? y/n is way too good to be a rebound.” 

“No. This has nothing to do with my old relationships, I genuinely like her… so much.” Hyuck understands the implications in Mark’s sudden abrasive questions. Even it’s difficult for himself to say how it all started and so this has Donghyuck reflecting back on his entire friendship with you.

If only he had noticed your lively smiles sooner, a little earlier, it would have saved him all this time searching for someone who would last. You’ve lasted through every college relationship he’s had and that speaks louder than any confession. 

“I never liked her because I never thought I had a chance. Have you seen her? Our best friend who has 400 matches on Tinder.” Though he blames himself for realizing a little late that he loved you, it was always hard to compete with everyone else. 

“So, what changed then?” 

Hyuck leans against the door to Mark’s room and crosses his arms to contemplate. “Not that I have a chance now, but I can’t hold these feelings back anymore. I want to kiss her until we’re out of breath, to love without any conditions, to be the reason behind her every beautiful moment.” 

Mark raises a confused eyebrow, “but you are.”

“The only reason.” Hyuck speaks his truest desires and Mark coughs aggressively before composing himself. Right, he didn’t stutter one bit. 

So, Hyuck had planned to confess, all until you gave him the very reason he couldn’t. When you showed up unannounced with one of those wide grins that has your eyes shimmering with hope, he just knew something was wrong. All his love and future aspirations were replaced with sheer disappointment and envy.

“I’m falling hard for him.” You begin and your hands are clasped together so innocently. “He brought me to this overlook on a cliff and we just talked for ages. It felt so right and then, he asked to see me again!” Your eyes are completely wondrous and distracted, like the one thought in your mind blocked out everything else. Jumping happily, you’re squealing with excitement thinking about this new person in your life and there is no consideration of Hyuck’s silence.

“That’s… great.” He barely stutters to fill the air and to replace the sound of his heart breaking. He lost you before even getting the chance to even have you. 

“I know right!” You yell joyfully and though your smile is the biggest it's ever been, Hyuck refuses to see this moment as beautiful. He’s no longer looking at you objectively, his bias tainting it all and he sees it in an ugly light. As your best friend, he should be happy for you and rooting for you. He’s known more than anyone else that you have been waiting for someone like this your whole college experience.

However, he can’t feel a single good emotion as you ramble on about your alleged one true love.

“Did you need something?” He cuts you off, growing a bit irritated by your endless praise about a man who never wishes to meet.

Clearing your throat, you take Hyuck’s hand in both of your palms. With begging eyes, you say, “my sister is getting married this weekend and they invited you. 

His hold escapes yours as he walks toward his bedroom, “shouldn’t you invite your new man to your family events now.” It’s difficult for him to hide the bitterness in his voice, but you run up to him and grip his arm. 

“But they think I’m dating you, remember? Plus, my mom referred to you by name. She really likes you.” You snicker, clearly not understanding why Donghyuck seems to be rather distant at the moment.

His ears perk up at the compliment and though it’s a selfish thought, he feels content knowing that he was able to win over your family. So, his heart burns at how your hand slowly travels down to intertwine with his own and how your chin rests on his shoulder lightly. His head turns and he is met a few inches away from your tender lips. For a brief moment, he’s staring at them longer than he should. 

“Come on, Hyuck. Be mine for one more time.” Your whisper is gentle and soft, your breath tickling against his cheek. Despite everything, he loves how you make him feel. It’s always a mixture of happiness and safety. There are no fears with you because you’re absolutely fearless. He can’t imagine how he would’ve opened up without you around, that he puts every form of trust into you. 

So, every little thing that you do. every single passing look. every touch and every spoken word. He falls harder for you every time you simply see him, every time you bat your eyelashes at him. And this love that festers inside of him feels easy and genuine. Perhaps, you’ve been his one true love all along. He’s never felt remarkably seen, where every part is exposed and right at your fingertips. 

And you… have been so patiently waiting for just anyone to steal your heart. How can he let just anyone love you? 

“I’m yours for however long you want me to be.” He lightly ruffles the top of your hair before slightly shrugging you off, afraid that your hold will eventually have him saying other sweet implications. “But don’t expect me to enjoy it.” He smirks at your small chuckle, the roll in your eyes.

“At least pretend.” But he really doesn’t have to. He enjoys every moment being yours. 

When the day finally arrived, the grand wedding may have been another day that Hyuck will never forget how beautiful you looked. Prancing out in your bridesmaid dress, you run towards him through the large field of fake grass. He catches you when you jump into his arms, practically failing all over and tripping over the ends of your chiffon dress. He hits the ground, cushioning your fall. 

“Hey..” you grin down at him breathless, hand resting perfectly on his chest as it was the night of your 21st again.

Hyuck gulps and sends you a glare, “I should have dropped you.” 

“That would have been very chivalrous of you.” Sarcasm bites back at him as you push up and off of him. He’s quick on his feet and brushing off any dust from the bottom of your expensive dress, avoiding the long open slit that runs down to expose one leg.

“Donghyuck, you’re looking ravishing.” Your mother steps out, tall and prideful, but with the most delightful expression as she opens her arms to invite him into a hug. 

He leans into it, while cautiously making suspicious eye contact with you. You shrug back, also confused at why your mother has a sudden change in demeanor. “It’s been so long since the holidays.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you again.” He bids your mother a respectful smile when she pulls away, to which she absolutely fawns at and you’re tugging at his sleeve to drag him away.

“The pleasure is all mine. You make y/n a better person.” And there is no context that Hyuck understands this single phrase before he’s walking away from your force. Your mother waves a small sweet goodbye as she watches you two leave behind a cobblestone wall behind the large reception building.

It’s covered in long vines that grow up the old stones, a beautiful background for an outdoor wedding. “Rude.” He whispers when you finally stop pulling him away.

“She was starting to say odd things.” You laugh, quite nervously actually. Nonetheless, you shake out of your nerves and a beaming expression replaces your troubles. “So, guess what? I’m meeting my man afterwards.” Yet again, the curve of your lips at the thought of another rumbles his own yearning heart.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looks down while kicking at the loose pebbles on the ground. “Good for you.” grumbles Donghyuck mindlessly.

You don’t notice his low spirits again, you’re talking away about this man as if he’s all you’re consumed with nowadays. On and on, the same speech about how you’re practically ready to give it your all and how he fits someone unimaginable. Eventually, Donghyuck becomes fed up by how your eyes blink up to the sun with another reflection in them. “It’s like you forget who you are when you’re with someone new.” 

And you’re in mid-ramble when you hear his harsh comment that picks aggressively at your skin. It stings, “what?” You cross your arms defensively and raise an eyebrow at him. The tone in your voice is jarringly upset and he opened a can of worms that he isn’t ready for.

Donghyuck swears underneath his breath, looking away at the tall trees behind the small parking lot. “Forget it.” He mumbles, rather frustrated at himself for ticking you off.

“What are you implying?” 

“There is someone that actually makes you a better person rather than someone completely different.” He scoffs, his emotions fueling the worst of him. The words flow from his mouth full of anger and spitefulness. 

Your eyes narrow at him, crossing your arms defensively. “Like you can give me the love you think I deserve? This whole fake boyfriend gimmick has gone too much to your head.”

And his heart is bursting at the seams and all he can see is your angry expression, so he says something he never hopes to regret. Every impulse beats his rationality and in the heat of the moment, Donghyuck confesses, “if only you can see yourself from my point of view and all the emotions I feel when I look at you.” 

With a sharp intake of breath, you’re slightly shocked at his bold statement. You blink cluelessly at him, speechless and deciphering how to respond. The anger fades from the both of you, knowing that the connection you two possess is mutual. Somewhere deep down within you, a light switches on and you’re basking in your sun’s radiance in this moment. 

“Tell me about it.” Your curiosity brings much confusion, but he doesn’t wait a second of hesitation. 

“Happiness, you light up my nights in dark cars with your smile. Trust, there is no one else I’d run down a dangerous intersection with. Courage, being bold enough to dance in a crowded room like no one was watching. Love, when kissing you felt incomparable to anything else in the world. Vulnerability, looking at you and knowing everything about you.” 

Donghyuck takes a cautious step forward toward you. A whirl of thoughts and emotions overwhelmingly flood your heavy mind, but fear no longer holds you back from the one person you’ve always wished to love, harder than any person you’ve ever encountered. “Donghyuck.” 

He freezes at the call of his name, waiting patiently for your next words. “I want to love me the way that you love me... because nobody loves me like you do… even myself. So, I’d love to see me from your point of view.” 

Donghyuck releases the sigh that suffocates him and every firework lights up in his chest. His eyes wander across your canvas and absorb everything wondrous about your features. Even though you’re not entirely smiling, you’re puckering your lips cutely out of embarrassment. And he reassesses how pretty you simply look in your expensive formal chiffon dress and the bold color on your lips that has made you feel good before. 

He thinks aloud, the words leaving his mouth before they can be stopped. “This is your most beautiful moment.” 

When you’re looking up at him to meet his dreamy gaze, a new enthusiasm washes over your entire body. Looking rather inexplicably attractive in his suit, Hyuck stares at you as if you’re all he can see. So, you pull him into the only source of gratitude you can give. A kiss that gives every emotion back to him, one that resembles closely to the one he gave you on your birthday and the one you gave him for his. 

An emotional kiss that tells him more than he can see. He feels it on the tip of your tongue and every ounce of love that rushes over the both of you.

***********

Donghyuck’s wandering hands travel down your waist, over your hips, all until it reaches in between the slit of your dress. His hand instinctively grips at your naked thigh, the feeling of your raw skin driving him wild with impure thoughts. Your hands are quick on his tie, loosening it from around his collar and unbuttoning the first few as you’ve done once before.

“Can,-- Is it okay if--?” Hungry eyes search his face for confirmation, but you’re so lust driven that you’re a stuttering mess. “Do you want this?” 

“Yes.” Says Hyuck without any hesitation. Taking his hand, you’re quick to lead him inside to a more secluded part of the venue. The lavish private bathrooms are brightly lit and he lifts you on top of the marble counters.

“The reception starts in 20 minutes.” You moan as Hyuck kisses down your neck hastily, a hand up the slit of your dress to push your panties aside.

“We’ll make it quick then. I’ll show you love another day.” His knuckle lightly grazes against your erect clit and your grip on his shoulder tightens. Whimpers fall from your lips as your hips mindlessly grind into his hand. “Never took you the type to be so loud.” Hyuck raises an eyebrow and tilts his head mockingly at you.

“This isn’t even close to how loud I can get.” Your statement causes him to swallow hard. Being your best friend, he has kept a rather clear mind from any sexual attraction toward you. He had to know he loved you in order to even see you in that way. 

Gathering your slick, he rubs your clit with two fingers before dipping them into your hole. You lean back into the mirror and prop your feet on the counter to spread open for Hyuck to see. “You let all these idiots fuck your pretty pussy? They don’t deserve you, as a person or a potential partner.” He fingers you deeper and with flicking motions, he hits your sweet spot and causes you to jolt.

“Please, just fuck me. I’ve always wondered how good you’d feel.” His eyes twinkle at your bashful confession, but understands your lustful desires even for your own best friend.

“You think about fucking me?” He asks abruptly, taking his fingers out to suck your juices clean from them. A coined flattered smirk appears on his lips as he unbuckles his belt.

You’re averting eye contact, “well no, maybe just once. I get horny when I’m drunk sometimes.” You admit and he’s rushing to take himself out of his restrictive dress pants. His dick hits the air and he adjusts closer to your dripping core.

And he enters, slowly and slowly inching in so you can adhere to his size. You bite back every yell of pleasure and grip the ends of his dress shirt. Hyuck fills you up deliciously, and you two are connected through bodies beyond any way before. He leans in to give you a sloppy, yet passionate kiss before dragging out his hips and pushing them back in.

There is no guilt, no pain, no sorrows. Knowing Hyuck, he fucks you in the same way he wishes to love you. His hips drive into you passionately and quickly. The time crunch being something that causes him great distraction, but his heart is swelling simply feeling your warmth wrap around him so well.

“My baby is so tight.” Pet names in private. A small grin appears on your face at the sound of the sweet nickname and you pull him closer by tugging his shirt.

“Harder, Hyuck. Don’t hold back anymore.” Moan after moan, Hyuck relentlessly drills into you. His arm is hooked underneath your left thigh to keep it up, and your head keeps banging against the mirror.

Your eyes roll back when his thumb rubs circles on your aching clit. The mixture of both pleasures stimulate you until the build up tension in your stomach begins to reach its peak.

“Cum, I know you fucking want to.” He grunts, keeping the same rhythm that pushes you over your edge. Your walls squeeze around him tightly as your legs shake sporadically from your release. You’re smart to cover your mouth, knowing that the bathroom will only echo your erotic sounds. Your chest rises and falls from the momentum and adrenaline that Hyuck helped you reach, breathlessly trying to calm your heart rate down.

After a few more harsh bumps, he pulls out and motions you forward. Jumping off of the counter, you kneel on the ground and suck his tip lightly. Your swirls are enough for him to empty into your mouth, his hot streams of salty liquid hitting the back of your throat. He looks down at you and your wide eyed expression with his cock in your mouth drives him overboard. 

And you swallow, getting up to lightly plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. A lip stain being worn proudly for just a moment. 

“You amaze me.” Hyuck whispers, holding you against his flushed body and fast paced heart beat. 

“Hurry out you two!” A voice startles the both of you with a knock on the door and you two are quick to readjust yourselves. He hopes to love you a little longer next time, without any interruptions.

***********

After the glorious and excruciating long wedding, you’re walking Hyuck to his car in the small parking lot. During the rest of the night, he held your hand the whole way through and the love that he looked at you with was more than real. 

He talked with your distant relatives as if he’s always known them. Hyuck conducted the dinner table, always knowing what to say. There was no doubt in your head that seeing Donghyuck in the aftermath, he was always going to be someone who was going to make things better. 

The love you long searched for, the love that you had been too afraid to touch, intertwined itself so lovingly underneath the white table cloth. Donghyuck is the one and it took needing to see him a bit more to realize. A little more acceptance from the both of you had to be the final straw.

Donghyuck sheepishly scratches the back of his neck when you reach his car, unsure where the path of your friendship will diverge to next. “Have fun on your date then…” His voice trails off, kicking the rocks at his feet again.

There goes your melodic laughter that soothe his aching heart and the familiar gentle grip on his fingertips. You lift his chin up, the both of you seeing each other clearly now.

From his perspective, you’re absolutely dazzling in the low light and butterflies swirl in the pit of his stomach. He can look at you forever, until months turn into years. He can love you until you two grow old. You’re his fearless, beautiful, inexplicably marvelous best friend. And he patiently waits for the day you’ll let him finally be yours.

From your perspective, Donghyuck shines even when the night overtakes the sky and possibly, the warmth in your heart bubbles across your chest. You can stay with him forever, until months turn into years. You can trust him like it’s you two against the world. He is your silly, charming, timidly benevolent best friend. And you’re slowly falling and hoping for the day you get to be his. 

“I’m not going to see him anymore. He’s not the one.” Hyuck blinks at you, full of confusion and shock.

“But you sounded so happy.” His voice gets lost in the stillness of the intimate atmosphere. 

“No, Hyuck. You make me happy and I’ll say it again for you to hear me. Nobody loves me like you do.” Reaching up, your hand caresses his cheek and he falls into your palm lovingly. His heart runs a mile, reaching the greatest high he’s ever going to feel. He hopes his eyes don’t deceive him, but the utter perfection on your face makes him feel whole.

You wish that Hyuck can teach you to love yourself the way that he loves you. 

“Take me home?” 

“How could I ever say no?”

thank you for being patient with me! its finally done and i will be going on a writing hiatus for a bit. housemating and ridin club will come out sometime soon, but i really need to step away from writing for a bit. please understand, thank you for reading :)