#but really what the fuck this is so many drawings

[brokenmutations]

Not just a “Fling”

Logan Howlett • She/Her Pronouns • Mutant!Reader [Heat Manifestation] • You and Logan were never…exclusive. It’s always been a friends with benefits even if the friend part is silent. But when a scare happens, it draws Logan out of that state of mind • ANGST/SFW/NSFW - Illusions to sex / hickeys / biting • TW: Pregnancy Scare / Injuries / Scars / Anxiety

There seems to be a routine with it.

Logan waits outside of Y/N’s class whenever he was in the mood, and she would wait outside of his for the same reason—-then they would go to Y/N’s room in the mansion, have a little fun, and Logan leaves almost immediately after.

It’s a bit surprising that no one has caught on to their situationship. Logan is the master of denial and 90% of the time they would believe him, but when the accusations hit Y/N about the two of them. That 90 becomes 100%. She knows he doesn’t want more out of the two of them so what’s the point in feeding into her “delusional” feelings.

“So, you and Logan—-“

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s nothing, Jean?” Y/N sighs, getting her suit on for the mission she, Jean, and Scott were assigned to. She was testing out new thermal gloves that Hank designed for her mutation so while Jean focused on her love life, she was more looking forward to the long gloves.

“C’mon! I see the way he looks at you”

Like a piece of meat Y/N thought and had a bit of a “wait a minute” moment giving Jean a look but was instantly met with confusion. Thankful she didn’t read her mind.

“You sure you don’t see the two of you…I don’t know…together in the future?”

“No” How quick Y/N’s answer is what brought disappointment on Jean’s face.

“You sure you don’t need an extra hand?” Logan asks Scott as they were headed toward the hanger. Scott side eyed him even if he couldn’t tell with the visor he has. “What? It doesn’t hurt to have back up”

“For a scouting mission? The backup can stay comfortably here. But I promise you, with Jean alone, Y/N and I will be safe. Hell. I don’t have to go really. Professor asked me to go along with them but the two could’ve handled it alone” Scott realizes he was rambling and before they entered the hanger, he stopped Logan. “We’re good.” and with that he entered alone but when the doors were hissing shut, Y/N caught a glimpse of Logan and vise versa.

The scouting mission was a success…for the most part. They did get themselves into a pickle but didn’t call for backup on the matter. Scott handled it, after a few shots were fired and a few grazing Y/N. Nothing too serious.

Room in 5

Logan stares at the text he received and downed his beer that he kept hidden from the students. Tossing the bottle in the bin after removing the label so the professor wouldn’t get pissed about alcohol in the building.

The second he entered the room without being seen, the man was shoved against the closed door and Y/N’s lips met his in an instant. Logan didn’t mind this one bit. He thought it was odd that the lights weren’t on when he entered but with the way her hands were taking off his belt then his pants along with it…his mind blanked and focused on one thing.

Fucking her until she forgot her name.

After their fun, Y/N shifted in her spot turning her head toward the sleeping form beside her. He’s never slept over she thought and there was good reason he didn’t, aside from their “rules.” She slowly sat up in her bed letting the blanket fall and the coolness of the room draw a shiver out of her when it hit her bare chest. She reached over and the palm of her hand glowed a light red, pressing itself into his skin and causing him to wake. The heat she emitted wasn’t enough to cause damage, just enough to bring warmth.

Logan jolted awake, giving Y/N a confused look that didn’t last long. “Sorry”

“It’s whatever. Just make sure no one sees you” Y/N slipped out of the bed in her naked glory making her way toward the bathroom, she flicked the light on and Logan took note of the hickeys that littered her neck, a few bite marks on her shoulder, and the bandages on her arm from her injuries. “Take a picture it’ll last longer”

“Can I?” Logan smirks getting out of the bed and making his way over, with hopes for a round two in the shower but she gently placed her hand on his chest to stop him. “Is that a no?”

“It is a firm…no” Y/N gently pushed him back seeing the smirk not leave his face. “I need a shower and you need to clean up for drinks later”

“Thinking of ditching that, if you do too…we don’t have to leave this room” He smirks leaning against the doorframe as Y/N crosses her arms eyeing him up and down. “See something you like?”

“Yes…but I could also use a drink…” Y/N weighed her odds before sighing. “You can join me in the shower, but you need to leave after. I’d like to see Scott’s drunk ass try and sing Bye Bye Bye later so I can record it for blackmail” she smirks stepping back and letting him in as he shuts the door behind him.

Loud and terrible singing coming from Cyclops himself can be heard throughout the bar followed by drunk cheering from his other half. Y/N sat at the bar watching this unfold as Ororo went up to Scott to join him in fishing the song in which Y/N stopped recording. She looked over at the booth the rest of the team was at as she couldn’t help but feel herself stare at Logan and Jean talking to one another.

One of the many reasons she doesn’t want to pursue something. Or whatever she’s trying to call it. She’s not intimated by Jean, just knows how much she means to Logan. So meaningless sex it is. All…her feelings…for the emotionally unavailable, just had to stay dormant.

Until the alcohol kicked in.

“Y/N!!!! Come sing a song” Ororo called out to her as Y/N downs the last of her fourth drink and got up off the stool making her way to the stage. The only cheers coming from her and Scott who slumped against the table.

Y/N punched in the song and took the microphone from Ororo staring out into the bar with very few patrons.

“Love of my life…you’ve hurt me” Y/N starts, her eyes moving to the floor. “You’ve broken my heart, and now you leave me…love of my life can’t you see?”

As she continues to sing the Queen song, Jean leaned into Logan tipsy herself as the sober Wolverine kept his eyes on Y/N.

“Just admit you love her already…” Jean whines, grabbing his arm shaking him. “We both know you dooooo….”

“I don’t, Jeanie.” Stop lying to yourself.

“You know I can read your mind”

“In the state you’re in?” Logan quirked an eyebrow looking at her as she had closed her eyes after saying such, half expecting her to be trying but then she started to snore. “Yeah that’s what I thought”

“You will remember…when this is blown over…” Y/N sat on the edge of the stage, looking over to Logan who kept his attention on Jean. “And everything’s all by the way…when I grow older, I will be there at your side to remind you…”

How I still love you

Y/N didn’t finish the song and decided to close their tab before drunkly helping Logan load everybody up in Scott’s car. The other three passed out on the drive while Y/N who was slowly but surely started to sober up had fought against sleep even if Logan kept telling her to.

“Should’ve stayed home…”

“Liking my plan right about now, huh?” Logan looked at her, noticing the grimace on her face as he was about to question if that’s toward him. But with a quick look to the car door, he pulled over watching her push it open and vomit her guts out. “Yeah…definitely.” He put the car in park and before he could even think of helping her, he heard Scott gag which only meant he was next to vomit.

What a gross chain reaction. But they EVENTUALLY made it back to the mansion.

Y/N collapsed on her bed feeling gross and in a desperate need for another shower. Maybe five. She couldn’t stop thinking about the song she sang and how close Jean and Logan were. She thought she truly shoved her feelings away.

But she’s really just a temporary relief.

With her feelings lying on the surface, she hasn’t hooked up with Logan as much as she did before. Maybe once a week? Or once every other week? Still a lot given Logan can last for hours but they used to fuck like bunnies and now Logan is standing outside of her classroom for more reasons outside of the physical.

“Penny for your thoughts, Logan?”

The professor caught him staring at Y/N who was simply grading papers.

“Uhm. No. What do you want?”

“Ororo needs assistance on a quick meet up for intel on Magneto’s whereabouts. Mind joining her?”

Logan nods before leaving to meet up with Ororo, leaving Charles to linger at the door bringing his attention onto Y/N who locked eyes with him.

Stay out of my head, Charles Y/N frowns as he decided against her words wheeling himself in and right beside his desk. She stopped what she was doing, gripping her hands tight. “How much do you know?”

“I didn’t snoop too far into your mind. Just the surface of not wanting Logan at the door…and the fear that…well” Charles shrugs with a worried expression toward her. “You might be pregnant”

Y/N’s face went from annoyance to a hint of rage as she looks at Charles gripping her fists that glowed red.

“Stay out of my mind.”

“Y/N, you should get a test or have Han—-“

“Charles. Leave before I burn this whole mansion down.” She snapped watching him nod quickly and leaving. But her heat wouldn’t cool fast enough so she got up and ran out of the classroom.

Having run past Charles and a couple of students on her way to the back of the mansion, only brought more concern for her as he wheeled himself out urgently which caught Scott’s attention in passing.

“Professor what’s—-“

“Get Y/N a towel, if you don’t mind” Charles frowns as Y/N stood in the shallow part of the lake before slumping and sitting in the muck for a while. “I’ve got this”

As Scott leaves, Charles brought himself as close as he could to the lake without falling in. Y/N turned to him with an apologetic look and tears rolling off her cheeks.

“You know. Whatever happens, and whatever you decide…we are here for you. I’m here for you. You’re my family, Y/N”

Y/N continued to sob as she dragged herself out of the lake bringing herself to Charles and he did not hesitate to open his arms to her. Letting her drenched self bring herself into his arms and onto his lap. He didn’t care about the suit he wore or anything on that matter. She wanted the comfort and he gladly gave that to her.

The wild goose chase Logan was on, only pissed him off and he wanted to relieve those emotions but when he reached Y/N’s room the door was open. He hesitantly stepped inside not sensing her in the room but as he entered and looked around for a brief moment. He was about to leave when he noticed a few boxes on her dresser.

It felt like the worse timing for Y/N to come back, smelling like a pond and having to come to a decision. But when she came in and saw Logan holding up the boxes of pregnancy tests she felt all that anxiety return.

“I don’t know yet”

“Were you gonna tell me?”

“Yes”

“Now how do I know you’re not lying to me on that? Most people don’t tell the other person until it’s too late”

“I’m not like most people and you would know that if what we have wasn’t just sex.” Y/N snapped, taking the boxes out of his hands. “You’ll be the first to know, Logan. But trust me. If you don’t want this…to be tied down with me forever if this comes out positive? Then you don’t fucking have to” she said with a bit of a harsh shove of him out the room. Logan quickly turned and before he could say anything, she shut the door on him.

His mood affected those around him for the rest of the school day that Scott reluctantly invited him to drinks just them. Even if Jean and Ororo invited themselves after he told Jean what he was doing that night.

“So no Y/N?” Jean questions with a frown as Ororo looked up from her phone hoping for a reason why. But with how Logan was gripping the door to Scott’s car from the passenger’s seat, a soft sigh escape Scott.

“She got swamped with grading. Told me she’s been behind on papers for her class and decided to stay back at the mansion”

Once they were at the bar, Ororo got a booth with Jean which left Scott and Logan to get the first round of drinks. But even after a couple rounds, Logan didn’t budge from the bar. So once Scott knew the girls were alright and comfortable with the bar food he got for them, he went to join Logan.

The awkward silence grew between the two until Scott decided ripping off the bandage was the right plan.

“Listen. I didn’t know you and Y/N were serious in any way. But you know you have more than a team right? I know we butt heads a lot but—-“

“Shut it. Y/N and I…we’re…Fuck off. We’re not…whatever it is” Logan groans pinching the bridge of his nose. “Is that why you asked me to join yall? To talk about my feelings about her being fucking pregnant?”

Scott sighs leaning against the bar. “See now I didn’t know that last part and for someone who can’t get drunk, you’re spilling a lot to me. Of all people”

“…What do you want?”

“To help you. Why are you feeling the way you’re feeling…if you were never something more”

Logan squinted at Scott before gesturing for another drink and to give Scott another of the club soda he was drinking before getting into it.

“She told me I don’t have to. I don’t have to be there…and before I could say anything, she shut the door in my face”

“If she hadn’t, what would you have said?”

A tight grip on his new bottle relaxed and the big scary Wolverine everyone knows…took a moment to fall apart. Fold. Crack.

“I would’ve told her…I never thought I wanted this…until she came around. Until it just. Fucking happened…I want to be there…I’m….” Logan sat up straighter and ditched his beer along with Scott and the girls.

The bar isn’t exactly close to the mansion. Nor is the weather the best in Westchester County. Logan got a cab but when it wasn’t going fast enough, the man stepped out and ran back to the mansion in the rain.

When he stumbled into the mansion, he dealt with a few straggling students that should be in their dorms but instead of scowling them he ran toward the teacher side of the dorms.

Y/N lifted her head from her book when she heard pounding on her door. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she tossed her book on the bed next with her blanket off her lap before going to the door.

The now very wet Logan appeared on the other side of the door and given Y/N’s mood hasn’t changed on matters, she tried to shut the door on him again but Logan slammed his palm against the door.

“You have to listen to me”

“I don’t have to do shit”

“Y/N, baby—-Please” Logan pleaded, bringing his body into the frame where it would only hurt if she tried to shut the door again. “Just let me talk, alright?”

Y/N’s anger relaxed but she was still mad…she took a step back to let him into her room, closing the door. “Why are you wet? You’re lucky you can’t get sick…”

“Ran in the rain. Had to get here. Had to get to you. Tell you everything” Logan paced slightly tugging at the wet clothes which only prompted Y/N to go into her dresser pulling out one of his flannels tossing it to the bed before going into her bathroom to get him a towel. “You kept that?”

“After one of our…excursions…you left in a hurry with just your pants on and shoes in hand that you forgot your flannel so…yeah I kept it…” Y/N found herself trailing before jumping back into it while Logan took off his wet clothes. “What is it, Logan? And I’m going to not face you when you strip because your nudity is going to cloud my judgement”

The second she turned around, Logan felt nervous. He hasn’t felt this nervous in a long time.

“I want you.” He started and he knows by the way she tensed that she read it as the other need. “And not in just…how we’ve been doing it. I want you…Y/N, I need you. As much as you think this was it and that’s what it looks like…But I’ve noticed every little thing you do that makes you, you.” He stepped closer once he got the flannel on and was now standing behind her with just the shirt and boxers. “How you don’t want to wait for the kitchen to be free and use your mutation to make grilled cheese…then Ororo and sometimes Kurt will beg for their own when they catch you doing that….” He chuckles lightly, hearing her soft giggle. “Listening to you hum softly when you’re focused on something, whether that be on a mission or helping a student…the warmth you give, regardless of your mutation…while you can be a bit wild on the field and when certain unexpected things happen…you always have this warmth…that’s welcoming. Even to someone like me…”

Y/N felt the loose tears roll off her cheeks, as the warmth from his closeness engulfed her when he brought his arms around her frame.

“I’m sorry. For yelling at you…I was afraid and shouldn’t have assumed you wouldn’t have told me…that you’d lie to me” Logan whispers, resting his chin on her shoulder bringing her close as she held onto his arms. “You are more than just a fling…and this was a wake up call. That I want more. I want more with you…even when the next steps aren’t in order”

The tears continued as she gently pulls away to turn around looking up at him.

“Yeah?” Her voice cracked with the tears still falling but he brought his hands to cradle her face gently wiping away the tears. “L-Logan, I’m scared though…”

“Listen, Y/N. Listen to me carefully…” Logan held her face slightly making her look at him as he brought his close. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what the test says.”

Everything he’s been saying, felt so out of character. But he’s always had this soft center he’d crack open for, for his person. Y/N brought her arms around his neck pulling him into his arms holding onto him tightly, feeling his arms return around her frame holding her close.

When she took the test, Logan sat with her on her bed waiting for the three minutes to pass. Y/N’s face gave the result away as it went from fear to the smallest hint of disappoint to a sense of relief. She turns to Logan who shared more of the disappointed feeling on his face.

“You’re off the hook” She laughs softly feeling him nudge her with a hint of annoyance. “What?”

“For now.” Logan stated with his signature smirk, only for Y/N to pat his chest resting her head on his shoulder. “I meant it. I’m not going anywhere and if the future has this in it…We’ll be perfect”

“Flaws and all” Y/N says softly feeling his arm wrap around her shoulders. “So what’s next, Logan Howlett?”

“Officially making you mine” Logan smirks bringing his lips to hers and it felt right this time.

And for forever after.

[syoddeye]

just imagining,,, going to a bar with soap, and getting really drunk and rushing back home to have the sloppiest messiest most indulgent and intimate sex ever that lasts all night even through to the next morning after many naps and cuddling in between

oof, yeah. i, uh, took a slight left into feelings town. 🧍 i hope you like this anyway. soap x f!reader. 700 words. lightly edited.

after he tucks two fingers into you on the ride home and eats your cunt for a midnight snack in the kitchen, soap helps you to bed and leaves a trail of clothes spanning the length of your home.

chin wet with your slick, he licks into your mouth as he pushes into you, groaning against your lips. his cock stretches you just right, a familiar and welcomed burn. he grinds for a bit, indulgent-like, yammering away about how good you feel, how this is what he wanted all night. guides a thumb over your offered tongue and molars, then drags it down to your swollen clit. 

soap rubs quick, concentrated circles at first. they lose their finesse as his hips gain momentum but still conjure the tense, coiling heat that makes your legs shake and pussy tighten on each thrust.

and you're so far gone, absolutely lost in the sauce, that you let i love you slip out of your mouth as you melt into your third orgasm of the night.

he's stunned, pace faltering into near-failure. he can't get the words out, can't formulate a response before you're pulling him down and kissing him even more stupid. it takes a measure of his strength to break it, big hands cupping your face, brushing your cheeks.

do ye mean it?

he doesn't believe you when you repeat yourself, especially when you tell him to pull out. it's a new experience for him—thoughts sluggish like they're swimming in syrup, body following suit. you sit him up and position yourself astride his lap, legs spread wide, bent to drape over him just right for leverage.

the feel of you sinking down onto him, taking him back in one go, cuts through the haze and draws his hands to your hips, drunkenly pawing at your ass and hips. despite all your maneuvering, you're not much more coordinated than him at the moment, so you take it slow. lifting and grinding back down onto his cock slowly, one hand reaching over his shoulder for the headboard and the other resting on his neck, thumb stroking his windpipe.

his head tilts forward, eyes fluttering shut. he mouths blindly at your tits, overwhelmed by it all—your heat, your skin gliding over his, those fucking words. the revelation strikes him more profoundly than he thought possible. he sucks a nipple into his mouth and tugs it with his teeth as you rock atop him, distracting you from the sting by slipping a hand between your bodies.

soap finds you still drenched from your orgasm and grunts, feeling you squeeze his cock when he slides his fingers over your swollen clit. he spoils it, rubbing it in tandem with your pace, giving it a few pats when your legs quiver and strain.

when you whine, he knows you're losing strength, so he rolls his hips more, flexing to drive up and deeper, meeting you on the descent. the hand on the headboard detaches and cards through his hair to the root, tugging. his head lifts in a moan, mouth colliding with yours in a sloppy, toothy kiss. you deepen it, licking into his mouth, panting again.

i love you. i love you. you believe me, don't you, johnny?

a heartbeat passes before he comes, spilling into you, hips and lips stuttering alike. this time though, as he jerks, pumping the last of his cum into you, he coaxes the words out of his mouth. doesn't let them get stuck this time.

aye. i love ye.

in the morning, he wakes you up with a tongue in your navel. you giggle, almost deliriously, and watch through the cobwebs of sleep as he heads further south. he makes you come on his mouth and fingers, gets you messy and pliant, warding off the hangovers you surely should've suffered. he asks you to say it again and again. once, while he's inside you, resting on his elbows, teasing you at the precipice of your release. another time when his head's on your stomach, your fingers idly playing with his hair.

he toys with your other hand, gently massaging it, and eyes your naked ring finger.

[logan-lieutenant]

goodbye to a world

reading between the lines of the various goodbyes and dismissals to logan sargeant

Pt. 3: Oscar (press conference)

full series

not a goodbye (in the traditional sense of the word) but a fucking statement. obviously. because piastri.

the loscar dynamic is absolutely FASCINATING. out of all the friendships in the grid, this one plays a special role: it reminds the audience that there’s so much more than formula 1, there’s so much more to f1 drivers than this stage of their career. most of us (spectators) have a broad conception of the “typical” driver backstory; rich kid with rich parents, got in a go kart at age 4, karting and then single-seater and junior series was their whole life and they climbed up the ranks like rungs on a ladder. i think a lot of people who only watch f1 (myself included) tend to focus so much more on the Pinnacle of MotorsportTM that everything else just seems like prep. even though most if not all of the drivers grew up either 1) racing each other 2) watching each other on tv, we don’t really think of these relationships beyond and BEFORE f1.

until loscar. because what draws them together? they’re not teammates. they’re not rivals. williams is so far behind that they’re not even competitors. in many way, logan is entirely “out of oscar’s league”.

and yet they have this endearing, sweet, playful friendship that’s exactly what it seems like: people who have known each other since they were kids, grown up together, watched each other become the person they are today. there’s a casual, domestic intimacy neither of them have with their teammates, even if those relationships are also going well, because there’s this history element.

which is recalled no more vividly than when oscar and logan are compared. as they are too often.

total polar opposites. f1 stories practically the inverse of each other. one was a promising young talent who f1 teams had been keeping an eye on for years that, once thrown in the car at that “wait! isn’t he just a kid??” age, immediately proved his worth as a future superstar. Future World Champion, to quote the official moniker. “look at him go! look at OSCAR PIASTRI!” he’s a prodigy, he’s a social enigma, he’s a raw force of pure and driven talent.

then you have the other promising young talent who one f1 team had been keeping a loose eye on for years. who’s never done any free practices or tests. who’s barely even dipped his toe into the waters of f2. who’s shown a lot of raw potential but more noticeably, glittering fancy sponsors. who gets chucked into a car as a last-minute, scrapping underprepared and thrown-together plan B after the previous f2 graduate fails to keep his seat. and, while oscar soared off into the stratosphere, logan flops IMMEDIATELY.

go fucking figure. it’s almost like people like max verstappen and lewis hamilton are exceptions to the rule, not the rule itself, and an underprepared rushed overwhelmed rookie is actually NOT in a position to achieve immediate stardom! in fact, maybe that’s the OPPOSITE of what they need! so, in loscar, we have the exception to the rule (oscar) and the rule (logan). but that’s not the solidified narrative; the story, how history will remember the two of them, is that logan was nothing but a pale and washed-out shadow. always. open and shut case.

what does oscar have to say about it, though?

this was said to gp blog (great website); the full quotes from him are:

I sent him a text yesterday. He seemed okay. Obviously a little bit of a shock. Obviously it wasn't an easy time for him in F1. It was much more difficult for him than maybe I expected it to be going into F1. I think for me, his potential was much greater than what was on show in F1, for whatever reason it might be.

I know firsthand, being his teammate in the junior categories, racing him in basically everything, I know how quick he is. I don't think the change was completely unexpected...

Best of luck to him. Just a shame that, for whatever reason, he wasn't able to show everything that he's got. Because in the junior categories, he was genuinely one of the quickest guys I went up against. I think his potential is much greater than what some people have seen.

first of all, some BEAUTIFUL toeing-the-line from oscar here. he’s even more subtle than alex in that none of his words imply any sort of passive aggression or ill intent; the only emotion that’s really conveyed, in understated tones, is a mild perplexity about logan’s career and failure in general as opposed to its gut-wrenching end in question. the implications in his wording imply nothing more than a personal opinion, but the ambiguity itself is some massive shade. let’s take a closer look:

much more difficult for him than maybe i expected it to be- this is masterful. “yeah, that’s right. i’m the next-gen prodigal superstar talent with my future as a world champion pretty much written for me, and i’ve shown the skill to back it up, and not only did i know logan before the catastrophe of f1 but i regarded him with so much respect that i had actual expectations. his skill had become such an intertwined part of his character in my eyes that i just assumed things would go so much better. because i believed in him.”

his potential was much greater than what was on show in f1…- toeing the line again. balance. acknowledging both the reality and all the roads not taken. “i’m not making false claims. i’m not making excuses for him. i’m not blaming the car or the team or the lack of support or the disgrace or the mistreatment and i’m not challenging the results. i’m not talking about what happened, i’m talking about what could’ve happened. potential. i’m talking about everything that wasn’t on show– and by not on show i mean that his potential, his skill, his pace, him as a person was not seen or understood or respected or prioritized by anyone. i’m not saying ‘oh, one point in 36 starts is all anyone could do with x/y/z excuse’ i’m saying ‘you guys missed the point’.”

for whatever reason that might be/just a shame that, for whatever reason- fucking hell, this is harsh. this is practically an attack. “i’m not gonna make excuses, but i’m gonna leave this open. i’m not gonna call this bad luck or the way it goes sometimes or a bad break, i’m saying that Whatever Reason This Happened is not what should have happened. not a matter of chance or objective misfortune; this situation could have and should have worked out better and whatever obstacle got in the way of that was a matter of misjudgment.”

I know firsthand, being his teammate in the junior categories, racing him in basically everything, I know how quick he is- alex said something similar, about pace. “raw speed” he calls it. and it’s really interesting that his teammates, who learn firsthand about him as a racer, his driving style, his strengths, his weaknesses (whether they’ve been teammates for months or years) identify a specific trait/skill about logan rather than just making the empty claim that “he’s good” or “he’s better than this”. and this is very interesting coming from oscar in particular given his current teammate. lando isn’t the best starter or the best defender or the most coordinated overtaker, but even with all the areas he needs to work on he can still compensate for it by being really fucking fast. his pace is his defense; he gets clean air and boom, he’s fucking gone. obviously that’s an oversimplification but oscar directly competing against that and observing/absorbing that and bringing up the same category of skill in logan– even in flashback– can’t be overlooked. in addition: “yeah, i’ve raced against him in basically everything. you’ve watched him on tv in a backmarker team for a season or so? i’ve known him for YEARS. i know. i don’t care what you’re seeing, i’m the expert on this and i know.”

I think his potential is much greater than what some people have seen- shit, this is as close to passive aggression as he gets, but it’s still done so precisely and subtly that it’s almost an art form. i mean, leave it to oscar piastri to use the phrase “some people” and NOT make it sound like a straight up, poorly-veiled callout. try to use that in a sentence without seeming like you’re shit-talking someone, potentially in the room. this is part of the lovely passive-aggression classic: “….unlike SOME people” (sometimes while staring at them directly, depending on how passive you want the passive aggression to really be. so, he’s (in unofficial terms) calling out who– anyone who hasn’t seen logan’s potential. who have underestimated him. who have invalidated his situation and him as an athlete. this could be any category of haters– negative fans, petty journalists, the horrid type of reports who will ask questions like “what does it feel like to be the slowest driver in formula 1…”. and that would make perfect sense. almost perfect. if we thought oscar piastri paid any attention to the haters, his own or anyone else’s. if it was ever on his mind. so, people who haven’t seen his potential… what, like, team principals? the ambiguity in itself is simultaneously a direct implication and oscar piastri’s intelligence needs to be studied because it is sometimes terrifying.

oscar doesn’t make a statement on social media, doesn’t bring it up further, doesn’t make any sort of personal goodbye available to the media– of course he wouldn’t, not just because that’s incredibly private but also because he’s oscar and he’s basically kimi raikkonen (in this analogy lando is sunshine boy seb but that’s an idea for another post). oscar’s whole public image is that he doesn’t want to have a public image. he doesn’t give the media any more parts of himself than he’s contractually obligated to. what he does give is concise, serious, the strongest points in the fewest words. and because of the enigmatic, tantalizing nature of that approach paired with the fact that he’s a fucking brilliant driver, people listen to what he has to say.

so oscar has a lot more weight to throw around than alex. alex’s image is that he’s a cuddly sunshiney cat dad who is a living anomaly in that he’s a good driver and a total sweetheart at once. whether or not what he says comes from the heart (it does. he’s alex) the reaction can always be “awww look at alex he’s such a nice guy :)” and the focus is on the kindness of the gesture/praise/respect itself rather than what alex is actually saying. so if alex says logan had more potential, that’s alex being alex.

if oscar says logan had more potential, that’s a fucking statement. and if the media wasn’t coming for JV’s head at this point, oscar just gave them a diagram for how to build a guillotine.

beautiful.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Assassin, Part 5

Fem Reader x Raphael

No warnings

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Eyes used to the near complete darkness of the foyer, a shaft of moonlight nearly blinds him. It floods the sitting room, casting a fractured skyline on the wall, and in the center of the room, opposite the empty fireplace, a goddess lies asleep.

Seven steps, as if caught by the tide, he is pulled to you, pale and cold in the moonlight. Lying on the chaise lounge, your green dress looks like a moonlit landscape, and the silk clings to every peak and valley beneath. A manifestation of the living, breathing earth.

He looks down at you in reverence. You'd brought warmth and light and beauty into his cold concrete world. Hundreds of years ago, he would have built temples to you. Your devoted.

You shift in your sleep and the landscape changes, bringing him out of his reverie. He's exhausted, and he's hurting, but he can't just leave you out here.

He looks at the fragile wooden staircase that leads up to your room, and sighs. D hasn't gotten around to reinforcing them yet, but Raph is the only one who's too heavy to make it upstairs, so it hasn't really been a priority.

He kneels, taking you into his arms and carrying you to his room.

Unable to move his hammock from the lair, he typically uses a blanket covered pile of pillows in the back room. It seems almost blasphemous, lying you on something so vulgar. But it's all he can offer you, and he does the best he can.

He covers you with a blanket, stealing one last glance at your face in the moonlight, and turns to make his way out of the room. It'd be easy enough to sleep in the barn, and it wouldn't be the first time. He stops short when a soft voice calls from behind him.

"Raphael?"

Fuck.

He closes his eyes and sighs before turning around. You're staring up at him with sleepy eyes still hazy from tears and champagne, and push yourself to sitting.

He looks down at you with an unreadable expression. As consciousness comes back into focus, fractured memories of the evening flood you.

He'd said no. He'd said no and you kept pressuring him. You made it so that there was no way you could play it off as a one time thing. A fluke. You couldn't pretend that you thought he was someone else, or that you were too drunk to know what you were doing. You wanted him, and you made that clear, and now things are going to be weird until they completely fall apart, but you have to do *something*.

You broke it.

You *have* to fix it.

"I'm sorry... If I made you uncomfortable tonight, I..." You blink the tears back behind your eyes, and words come pouring out of you instead, "I know I should have stopped asking after the first time you said 'no,' but I was drinking and I know that's no excuse, but I swear it won't happen again and I know I ruined everything, but if we could just pretend none of it ever happened..."

"(Y/N)..." He interrupts softly. Closing his eyes tight and rubbing his forehead. He was hearing noise and processing none of it.

That's when you see it, in his dull amber eyes, in the way he seems too tired to carry himself. He'd crashed, and he'd crashed hard. This conversation was not going to happen tonight.

Instinct has you reaching out to him. You take his hand and pull gently, he's too tired to resist. He lies beside you on the pile of pillows and you pull yourself against him, fingertips gently gripping the upper lip of his plastron, head resting under his chin.

He can't help it, he wraps himself around you, pulling you far closer and far tighter than is probably wise, and buries his nose in your hair.

He needs this. He needs you close. Even if you're the reason he's hurting, you're still the place he runs to. Home.

...

He breathes you in and lets sleep finally claim him.

(FIN)

Less a lover, more a fighter

But I'm tired of fighting to hold on

Got too many scars to hide them

So it's easier being on my own

But you

Shoot first, draw blood, before I know

Yeah you

One shot, one touch, and I let go

How did this happen?

My walls were up and

You moved without a sound

Never imagined, like an assassin

One look to me down...

Assassin, Sultan + Shepherd

...

Tag list:

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja

[demon-country]

One of the saddest parts of the stolitz miscommunication debacle to me is that for all his bluster and all his denial, Blitz never managed to fool anyone into believing that there were no feelings involved and he was doing it solely for the book, including Stolas. That is, until Ozzie's, at which point he finally fooled the one person who he didn't even think he needed to.

For all we talk about how Stolas let his fantasies of romance run wild, which caused him to accidentally run roughshod over Blitz (especially at first), he wasn't exactly wrong, in the end. Blitz did develop feelings for him, and given how excited and enthusiastic he was that last full moon, their nights together were probably the only times he felt safe actually showing that. Because he could always tell himself and everyone else that it was just an act, he was just giving Stolas what he wanted and keeping him satisfied enough that he'd let Blitz keep the book.

Stolas thought, up until Ozzie's, that Blitz enjoyed their deal just as much as he did. Because Blitz did. If Blitz was showing up basically every moon as hyped and ready to go as the time we saw him, it's not really a surprise that Stolas didn't catch on to the times when Blitz was actually unhappy and uncomfortable because he felt objectified. After all, Blitz snaps at and is abrasive to everyone, and any annoyance probably seemed pretty par for the course, especially for someone as oblivious, ignorant, and autistic-coded as Stolas. But Stolas also got special treatment on top of that, and it's easier to focus on the stuff that stands out rather than the stuff that doesn't seem too far off from Blitz's standard behavior. He got times where Blitz was genuinely happy and comfortable and excited to see him, we literally see that in the memory fragments and Blitz's behavior during the last full moon. He got times where Blitz seemed to find him so hot he'd grab him and turn things sexual on a dime (Truth Seekers and The Circus). He also got times where Blitz was caring and attentive, and where Blitz accepted care and gentleness during aftercare (because there's literally no way that didn't happen, not getting aftercare after BDSM scenes can be legitimately traumatizing for both the Dom and sub).

Like, that's not to say that Stolas shouldn't have taken the numerous hints that his condescension and baby talk were highly unappreciated, because yeah that shit was very uncool of him and ignorance doesn't excuse it. But look at how Blitz gently caresses Stolas' cheek in Truth Seekers. Look at how thrilled he was to be with Stolas again in The Full Moon. Look at the photo Stolas has of the pony drawing Blitz seems to have made while at his palace. Look at the memory fragments where Blitz is so fucking into kissing him or gleefully showing off toys or making that big shiny eyed blep I'm dying to know the context of. How else was Stolas supposed to take all that every full moon and however many nights Blitz came over outside of that, and not be convinced that his feelings were returned?

Because they were. Not immediately, of course, but the were. They were on the same page about that. There were plenty of things Blitz didn't like, related to Stolas' unconscious racism/classism. There was plenty of "things for [Blitz] to teach and [Stolas] to learn". There were plenty of things that went unsaid and unheard and misinterpreted on both sides. But the love was there, Stolas didn't make it all up. It wasn't the perfect fantasy he was initially picturing (although I'm pretty sure that illusion didn't actually last very long, not with how dejected he looks in a few of the memory fragments and at the start of Ozzie's), and Blitz had a lot more hidden under the surface than Stolas knew about (although he did know Blitz had walls he hadn't seen through yet), but the love was there. You don't have to know everything about someone to start falling in love with them. Blitz couldn't fool anyone, but he especially couldn't fool Stolas, who he showed his heart to again and again thinking he was safely hidden behind the alibi of the book deal.

Until Ozzie's. Until the disastrous "date", after which Blitz couldn't hide the hurt he felt thinking that all Stolas wanted him for was sex, when Blitz wanted more. Except Blitz didn't say that last part. So all Stolas got was Blitz ignoring him on their date, Blitz rejecting his offer to go inside, and Blitz tearing up while saying in a wounded and borderline angry voice that their deal was strictly about sex, which finally clued Stolas in that his actions hadn't been taken as cute and flirty like he had intended, they had just served to hurt Blitz and convince him that all he wanted was to use Blitz.

Blitz's pain changed everything for Stolas. He stopped flirting, he stopped calling him Blitzy save for one time, he stopped most of his interactions with Blitz, and he started trying to give Blitz outs. He looked at all the times Blitz was annoyed at him, at how umbalanced their deal was, and at how it may have been just as cruel of a chain as the one binding him to Stella, and quite correctly came to the conclusion that the deal needed to end and Blitz needed to have a way to do his job without being dependant on Stolas. But he also looked at all the memories of Blitz being happy with him, and all the times Blitz showed up excited, and came to the incorrect but reasonable conclusion that it was all probably just an act Blitz put on to keep the book. Just like Blitz had been hoping to convince everyone of.

And then Stolas ended the deal, and Blitz couldn't figure out why so he started to panic. The deal was his safety net and his shield; it was the only way he felt he could get something close to the real relationship he wanted, it was what allowed him to be open with his feelings, and what gave him the courage to let some of his walls down. It probably felt like such a betrayal that Stolas would take it away.

Even though he was the one who dodged all of Stolas' offers to talk, out of fear that things would become complicated if they talked about it, out of fear of rejection after Stolas hid during their "date", and later out of guilt and shame for how he failed to save Stolas. Even though he was the one who was hiding behind the excuse that it was all just for the book. Even though he was the only one convinced that Stolas could never care about him for anything other than sex. Even though Stolas flat out told him he cared about him and wanted him to stay, just without the deal in between them. Even with all that, Blitz still couldn't see Stolas ending their deal any way other than Stolas abandoning him and rejecting him and taking away the only way he has ever been able to openly show that side of himself.

It was more than just his self-hatred talking, it was more than just his insecurities getting the better of him. It was a perceived betrayal of trust and an inability to see how much the deal limited their ability to get what they both actually wanted. The reason it hurt him so much was because Stolas hadn't actually been wrong. Blitz did care, Blitz did enjoy their deal, Blitz did want Stolas just as much as Stolas wanted him.

The tragedy of it all was that the love was real, but the only ones who were convinced it wasn't was the two of them. So it's a good thing the story isn't over for them yet, because I couldn't take that ending for them. After all the shit they've been through in their lives, they deserve their happy ending together, they deserve to have their mutually requited love be realized.

[lovemyromance]

A lil angry rant

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD -

Elain eating drinking and sleeping again in ACOWAR had nothing to do with LUCIEN. Very tactically - It had to do with FEYRE - Our NARRATOR - arriving at the Night Court. Not even in the sense that Feyre brought her out of her depressive state. But in the sense that until FEYRE arrived:

We would not have known Elain was even depressed

We would not have seen Elain getting better

We would not know anything ABOUT Elain or her current state - or ANYONE in the NC, because Feyre - Our first person narrator - was NOT there.

The idea that Lucien was the reason she started eating and drinking again is LAUGHABLE. For that to be the REASON - he would have had to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING to help her.

And I'm sorry but his mere existence did NOT fix Elain. There was a VERY clear cause and effect that fixed Elain, and it was Azriel discovering she's a Seer. People can try to downplay it as much as they want, but it doesn't change the fact that Azriel revealed she was a Seer - and literally the next page - Elain get's freed from her murky realm. Clarity returns to her.

Do NOT try to make this a thing. This is NOT the argument y'all want to actually use for Elucien. There are a dozen other things that make MARGINALLY more sense than saying "Elain got better because of Lucien and Mor and Feyre not Azriel". Mor & Feyre? Fucking really? REALLY?

Like I'm sorry but I am drawing the line at saying MOR fixed Elain and Elriels are misogynistic for erasing her BIG ROLE in fixing Elain. Like my god, if she really had such a BIG part in fixing Elain, maybe the real ship here is MorElain??? Or that Feyre fixed Elain because she literally asked AZRIEL "What is wrong with her??"

Like stop, just STOP at this point. Calling Elriels misogynistic over this is such a reach.

You are the same people who claim Elain is out here sniffing and cradling Lucien's cloak he gave her after the same most traumatic day of her life, disregarding her ENTIRE trauma and PTSD just to have a 'cutsey lil headcanon about elucien'- and you have the fucking nerve to call ELRIELS misogynistic? For what? Reading the books?

Sorry I don't read things like quizlet flashcards, like random letters cut out of a magazine and shuffled and taped together to try to send a message that just ISN'T THERE.

Y'alls logic is literally "Lucien made her feel better because he arrived and then she got better" even though she literally cringed away from him and all he told them to do was get Elain some fresh air. You are just theorizing - desperately hoping, really - that somehow, Lucien's "mate-ness" cures her? Through what? Osmosis? Tf? "Through the mating bond" -> You mean the one Elain called strange and runs away from? That mating bond somehow cured her? What led you to that conclusion when even Feyre didn't come to that conclusion?

Azriel figured out she was a Seer. He found out why she was in that scared, depressed state, and he freed her. And then as soon as she could put a name to what was happening to her, babygirl straightened her spine and came back to her senses. That is literally written - black and white - in the text (that you so carefully cut Azriel out of btw).

And I keep seeing this ridiculous shit about how "oh well Elain's powers are not WRONG >:( so Azriel figuring out her powers didn't fix what was wrong with her" -> And to that, all I have to say is stfu and stop being crazy, you look like fucking clowns 🤡 . You are trying SO - SO hard to try to disprove every Elriel moment it's making you seem so desperate.

You shouldn't have to do this level of mental gymnastics to prove your ship is relevant? Why are these people SO - SO obsessed with trying to "disprove" every Elriel moment to claim they aren't significant??? Like newsflash - if Elriel wasn't significant or important - there WOULDN'T BE so many moments!

Why don't they - IDK - put half as much energy into trying to prove Elucien? Why don't they put that energy into appreciating canon Elucien moments? Why don't they have cute quotes and fanart about canon Elucien moments? Why don't they sit here fawning over cute Elucien moments from the actual books?

Oh....lol...wait. BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY. 😫

They HAVE to sit here and make headcanons and try to disprove everything about Elriel because they don't HAVE anything to fawn over in the books. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why is their ENTIRE ship:

70% trying to disprove every time Elriel ever even breathed beside each other + 30% over-analyzing random out of context words and sentences + 20% headcanons about Lucien (cough, oopsie I meant headcanons about Elucien. Sorry guys, sometimes I type too fast and its so hard to miss the small, miniscule E for Elain in the Lucien ship. Sorry did it again - meant E-Lucien)

(And yes I know this adds up to over 100%. Because they're ALWAYS TRYNNA DO TOO MUCH to act like Eluciens not a dead ship)

[bohemianblasphemy]

Your post of finding out butcher slept with Maeve was SO GOOD.

If you’re feeling up to it could you write another angsty piece where he tells the team and reader decides she cared way more about him than he cares for her and emotionally closes herself off a bit. Butcher notices and fucks her as an apology but she can’t stop thinking that he is only with her for convenience so when he’s close she fakes an orgasm so they won’t have to talk about her feelings.

He sort of believes her and they get pulled away for a mission or meeting and he’s watching her and realizes she faked it. Maybe he’s angry with himself for not noticing before/not making her feel good so he finds her after and truly apologizes and they have passionate loving sex instead of the usual rough fuck?

If you don’t feel like it I totally understand it’s just eating away at my brain I want this lunatic to love me so badd

no bc i love this as well!

i’m so sorry this too so long my brain is literally cooked atm ✨i hope i did the prompt justice

“alright you lot, let’s get this shit on the road.”

Butcher leaned back on his chair, observing everyone that surrounded him for his presentation- His plan to infiltrate Vought Tower.

“Now, i gotta tell ya… getting this info took a bit of, let’s say gettin’ down and dirty with the enemy, the enemy being Queen Maeve.” He chuckled, gauging the reactions of the group. Some chuckled, some remained neutral… you on the other hand, had to swallow the hard lump that formed in your throat.

Trying to brush it off, you smiled and avoided his eyes- but all you could feel was the deep pain of your heart cracking open, caring more than you wanted to admit.

Butcher looked over at you, seeing the sullen expression on your face when you tried to mask how you really felt- but he kept going, talking about his night with Maeve and the information he obtained.

The casual way he talked about it cut you deeper, feeling as if whatever you both had between you was nothing. Nights that you spent with each other between the sheets, the lingering touches and glances in the office- all those moments to find that he had screwed someone else.

His words echoed in your ears, you tried to withdraw from any and all feelings toward him.

Any interactions with him were short- no eye contact, no lingering glances; trying to lessen the pain of what’s transpired.

Butcher knew that you weren’t happy, the distance that you had created and the walls you had built around yourself gnawed at his heart. Your avoidance of him and focus on the mission ahead of the group didn’t help the regret and guilt that built inside his chest, but he suppressed it- he didn’t want to feel it.

It took so much strength to not lay your heart out on the table, to scream and cry at him for what he did- not to talk about your true feelings.

With regret weighing heavily on his mind, he showed up at your apartment one night, saying nothing, only drawing you close for a kiss.

The heat of the moment blurred the resentment you felt towards him temporarily, and toward the bedroom you both went.

No time was wasted, clothes falling to the floor as butcher pushed you back onto your mattress and crawled on top of you- desperately wanting to feel you.

As your passions escalated, billy rocked himself into you and his face buried in your neck- that internal turmoil returned in full force within you.

Was he really here for you? or was this just a pity fuck? Were you just a convenient choice for him?

Your mind was filled with so many thoughts that you couldn’t concentrate on his movements. In a moment of desperation, you quickened your breath and pretended to moan, arching your body against his to make it as realistic as possible as you faked your orgasm.

He sunk his teeth into your neck as he came, grunts filling your ear. He loved the way that you sounded, not realising that it wasn’t the reality for you. He pulled away from your neck, pressing a kiss to your lips.

Looking at you he could see it in your face that something wasnt right, but before he could say anything his phone started to ring.

Answering the call, Hughie spoke on the other end talking of an emergency meeting, something that needed attention as soon as possible. Butcher hung up the phone, quickly putting on his clothes.

“Duty calls love, better get dressed.”

You didn’t say anything, just mirrored Billy’s movements as you both got ready to head out the door- en route back to Headquarters.

As you both exited the building, he turned to you.

“We can go in my car-“

“I’m taking mine alone, i’ll meet you there.” you looked at him briefly before turning the corner to your car- hopping into the drivers seat.

As you sat there, could see butchers figure in the rear view window, tears prickling in your waterline as you turned the car on.

Butcher stood there in silence, watching the engine sputter to life and tires squeal down the road. His nostrils flared as huffed in frustration as he stomped toward his car, trying to work out what was going on. Yeah, he knew they were pissed about the Queen Maeve situation- but there was something else.

After arriving at the Flatiron Building, everyone had gathered in their shared space listening to Hughie speak, but Butcher couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you as you sat across the room next to Kimiko.

His brows furrowed in contemplation, the cogs in his brain replaying your earlier encounter as he looked at your from afar.

The realisation hitting him like a sledgehammer that you didn’t truly enjoy yourself, feigning your pleasure- cracking the code of your facade.

Hughie went on for what seemed like hours before you were dismissed, you couldn’t have left the office fast enough.

Being met with the cool air you walked toward your car, but not before Butcher stopped you in your tracks.

“Oi, we need to talk.” He said softly, his arms crossed.

You sighed, pushing him out of the way to open the car door.

“No we don’t, i’m going home.” You weren’t giving in, not now.

“Just fuckin’ listen to me will ya?” he raised his voice slightly, putting his palm on the door to stop you from leaving.

“Not here Butcher, I can’t do this-“

“I-I didn’t mean to treat you like that. I thought that the Maeve shit didn’t effect ya the way it did and i just-“

“I’m not going to be a choice for you Butcher. i deserve better than that and you know it.”

“That’s not it, Love. the way i feel for ya ain’t like that.”

“Then why didn’t you notice me, Billy? The way I felt when you told me- no, the entire group that you screwed Maeve as if it was just a walk in the fucking park?”

Butcher was speechless, looking at you as his face filled up with even more regret- knowing he’d hurt you even more than he could imagine. He couldn’t speak, only look at you.

“That’s what i thought.”

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you choked on your words. You threw open the car door, starting the ignition as quick as possible to drive off.

Watching you drive off from the sidewalk, Butchers fists had begun to white knuckle. He was angry at himself, knowing that he fucked up and hurt one of the only people that he cared for.

He knew that he couldn’t just let you walk away like that, he wasn’t giving up as he made his way to your apartment.

His hand rapped at your wooden door, his heart pounding as he waiting for you to answer- hoping you would open the door for him.

You were on the other side, looking at him through the peephole. The internal debate on whether or not to open the door raged on within you-

The door opened just a crack, just enough to see butchers sullen face.

“Cmon love, let me in. You know we gotta sort this.”

You looked at him for a few moments and opened the door as he walked in, silently standing at the kitchen counter. Wether or not you were going to regret letting him in was gonna be

You stood a few feet awake from him, looking at him so he could speak. The silence in that moment was deafening.

“I’m sorry.” he piped up, sighing as he rubbed his face in his hands. “I thought you’d understand, Maeve and myself was just an intel exchange- and today when i came over i didn’t look after you properly, i know that ya faked it.”

“Billy it doesn’t matter…” you murmured, wiping a tear away.

“No it fuckin’ does matter, because whether ya like it or not i care for ya, more than ya know.”

He walked over to you, putting your face in his hands.

“I should have taken care of you, the way that you deserve. I fucked it up, love.”

You looked at him, seeing the sencerity in his eyes as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs.

“I-i just don’t want to be your backup… the other choice.”

“There is no other choice, sweetheart. the only one is you.” He nearly choked on his words, but stalled the lump in his throat.

“I will do anything, absolutely anything to get you to trust me again… let me love you, the way you deserve to. Let me make it right, please…”

The look in his eyes was full of sincerity, he wanted you to feel his love - His hands wrapped around your torso, pulling you into his chest.

Your eyes met his as the turmoil that boiled within you faded.

“Then show me.” your voice barely above a whisper.

That was all he needed, placing his palm on the back of your neck and pulling you in for a searing kiss and backing you up towards the wall.

It was unlike any other kiss you had shared with him- not half hearted, it was raw and real.

Quickly shedding yourself and him of all clothes, he carried you toward the bedroom- placing you gently onto the soft mattress.

He wanted to take his time with you, savouring how you felt and the way you tasted as his lips travelled between your thighs. “God i would spend eternity here… tasting your sweet pussy.” Licking a stripe up you, relishing in the taste of your essence and the moans that bounced off the walls as he continued his actions against you, not stopping until you came on his mouth.

Panting and shaking with desire you pulled him up from between your thighs and in for a kiss, tasting your arousal on his lips and tongue.

“Billy, please… i need you.” you breathed, wrapping your thighs around him. He didn’t need to be asked twice, lining himself up with you.

“God love, i can’t wait to feel you, to make you feel good. You are everything, my everything…” he praised you, wanting you to feel how he felt about you.

His cock sunk deliciously into your cunt, thrusting ever so gently and deeply to feel you entirely. The sound of slapping skin mixed with the pair of you panting and groaning from satisfaction.

Your hands travelled to his hair, pulling on it and hearing the soft groans fall from his lips, causing him to thrust faster into you. “Ah.. fuck…” he grumbled, sinking his teeth into your collarbone as he continued his actions against you- making you yelp as the pleasure and pain of his bite sent jolts through you, the knot in your stomach starting to unravel as you reached the edge of your orgasm.

“Billy, i’m go-gonna…” you moaned, biting down on his shoulder- earning a strained groan of satisfaction from him.

“Let go f’me love… please.” he was almost there, but needed you to be satisfied before he could.

Your thighs shook around his waist, the pulsating rapture flowing through you as you called his name, your fingers pulling at his dark hair as you came.

He shuddered as you grabbed onto him, his cock pulsating as hot cum coated your walls. Heavy breaths filled your ears as he came down from his high, bringing his head to face you.

“So beautiful, all mine…” he whispered, looking down at you and smiling at how you looked in your after glow. You smiled softly back, your fingers lingering along his beard.

“I’m gonna make you feel my love, Sweetheart. I love ya…” he whispered, knowing that he had a lot to show for- to prove to you how much you mean to him.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

CH2-14 Thoughts

So! CH2-14, huh? This episode has been our longest in the series yet, and it has used that time incredibly efficiently, especially given it is the penultimate episode before our culprit reveal. I don't think there's much to start with, really. Let's jump right into it :D

SWEAR STATISTICS (ch2-13)

BINGO CARD

Nico

DT-Dev needs to stop drawing Nico so handsome when they're in the middle of killing someone. this has happened twice now, I am very concerned.

Nico is probably the character I have the least to say about overall, but I still think it's fair to start with them. For one, we finally got the reveal of Nico's true murder plan! I...still personally do not understand why they didn't just garrote the man from the beginning, but it's nice to finally have some answers. Nico confessing to not trusting anyone in the killing game as well as their whole speech later on is honestly very based, if I was in their shoes I'd probably not see the point in pretending to be guilty either, and I really do think it was the most mature way to respond to this situation as a whole. Nico is probably one of the more logically-driven in the cast (when Ace isn't up their ass, anyway), so it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the conclusion they'd come to.

(x) Nico: I… I just can't stand being treated like that. My teachers, my classmates, my father… I don't ever want to relive what they did to me.

Furthermore, we also learned that their father was also in on the abuse and transphobia they received, and this combined with how Levi talked about his father in the previous episode, it's just daddy issues across the board huh? Guess DT-Dev had to make up for J's mom angst somehow lmao. But in all seriousness, the fact that Nico more than likely had no one be there for them during those times is probably part of why they drifted more towards animals, besides the fact that there's no social rules with animals. (...has anyone put alien blues by vundabar on a nico playlist? I'm getting sidetracked.)

There is also a lot I could say about Nico's predominant male figure subjecting them to such treatment and how that relates to their relationship with Ace and Ace in general, but I'll leave that for a future post. All I'll say for right now is to look up VeryWellMind's page on toxic masculinity and observe how many points relate back to Ace :3

(x) Nico: I don't expect you to forgive me. Very few people ever do. So I don't see the point in acting sorry.

The last thing I really want to mention when it comes to Nico is this line, specifically the bolded text, because... am I wrong to think this is a very strange thing to say in the context of talking about your attempted murder? I've seen people say that this could be in reference to Nico's blunt way of speaking, but I feel like that doesn't fit in with this context, and the wording itself feels too dramatic for that to be the case. I feel like Nico has resorted to violence against their bullies before. I don't think it ever got as severe as the situation with Ace, but if only a few days of abuse caused Nico to choose violence, I think its almost a guarantee that they resorted to violence a few times during the years they were abused by their peers. Would certainly explain those weird ass bandages around their upper arms. anyway Nico, I adore you very much despite your bullshit murder plan. can't wait to see where you go :) (also is it fair to say that the theories of literally anyone else committing Ace's attempted murder are de-confirmed now? Like I don't think you could get a greater confirmation than the first thirteen minutes of this episode lmao)

Hu

...Oh yikes. So I have defended Hu on a few occasions, talking about how she is just defending Nico and that her behavior towards them is completely normal. And I think I must take advantage of my minimal gag reflex and gulp down that L because lord have fucking mercy.

First and foremost

(x) Hu: You’re trying to paint them as the villain just because they lost their temper at Ace once!

(x) Hu: If Arei died of a stab wound, it would be wrong for me to say you did it.

Both of these lines were fucking crazy of her lmao. Absolutely nonsensical, she is so annoying /affectionate

Second and secondmost, Hu so clearly projecting her own emotions and feelings onto Nico so that they can look weak and small and thus have to rely on her and clinging onto that perception when it continues to falter is so fucking delicious. The way I worded that makes it seem like I think Hu is being malicious, I do not, but also that is literally what she is doing, and furthermore it is not working. This episode alone brought Hu in my mind to a high-c tier, to a high b-tier because there is nothing I love more in this world than fictional women being awful. And now that I have that all typed out, I can't help but realize that this sounds very familiar...

Oh! That's right!

...Man Hu, I get that it's across the color wheel, but you really like to foil with people in red. Yeah, I think that Acevi and Huco are meant to be parallels of each other relationship wise. Both of them feature someone (Ace and Hu) projecting a certain identity onto a stranger (Levi and Nico) to satisfy their own emotional needs and their reactions when those fantasies crumble beneath them. The dynamic between Ace and Hu is so delicious to me and I think should be explored more in the fandom. Not just because they somehow manage to give divorced spouses vibes despite one of the two being gay, but because I think the way that they foil, how they are different in contrast with how they're similar in typical DRDT fashion, adds so much to both of their characters and their relationships with the others. And I'm also glad that I at least have two more, count-em two, more parallels between Nico and Levi. I will keep spreading my Levco agenda until the day I die.

Okay but, though I've kind of been taking the piss out of Hu during this section, I do actually feel very bad for her. Especially if Eden is the culprit, because Hu and Eden have shown to be close on multiple occasions, and I could not imagine witnessing the gruesome execution of someone you love after pretty much dealing with two betrayals back-to-back. And I guess since we're here I should clarify that I do not think Hu, or anyone else except the two suspects we land on in this episode, are responsible for Arei's murder. Third Party Theory seems to hinge entirely on the idea that someone other than Nico attempted to kill Ace, and as I've said before I don't think that's the case. And given the fact that we have at least 40 minutes left of the overall case, I can't really see a way from a writer's perspective to throw in such a major final twist with an entirely different character without it feeling rushed. I'm sure DT-Dev could pull it off, but just on concept, not sure how it could work and also if Eden really is the culprit, Hu is 1000% going to try and take her place as the optimistic mood-lifter, and I need to see that outside of my imagination

There isn't much else for me to add, really, part from the fact that I am very excited to see how Hu's character progresses and how her relationships with the cast progress. ... ...hey can we count Hu and Nico as toxic yur--

Ace

Funny thing, I originally was not going to give Ace his own section in this post. But I decided I would anyhow for two reasons 1. Ace is a very fun character to analyze And 2. I get to once again talk about how much of a fucking liar this man is lmao

(x) Ace: Who’s gonna stick up for me, huh? No one. Because I have a spine and I don’t need other people to lie to me constantly to keep me happy.

[Pictured: Doesn't need other people to lie to him constantly to keep him happy]

(x) Nico: What else should I say? Ace: W— "What else should I say"?? Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

I love this jockey the best when he is gaslighting himself. We obviously know that Ace does, in fact, need people to lie to him to keep him happy. And I don't just mean that in the context of Levi and Nico. Ace has a very antagonized view of everyone in the cast

(x) Ace: -but now they apparently also have a fucking defense brigade to shield them from even having to think about the fact that they're a murderer.

the only person defending them was Hu

And that view of his classmates, to me anyway, is very intentionally cultivated by Ace himself. He is very aware that how he's behaving is wrong, and he is clearly not happy about it

(x) Ace: You think I act like this for fun, and then I go to bed and sleep soundly at night, you dumb piece of shit?

Ace doesn't like the fact that he is being rude to otherwise innocent people, but at the same time, he knows that any of these innocent people could stab him in the back without a second thought, like Levi. So Ace demonizes the cast in his head so that he can emotionally distance himself from them, and as such, will feel less bad about treating them like shit. As a certain indie game that had its nine year anniversary once said: The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.

Ace does need people to lie to him to keep him happy. Which brings me to his role in this whole scene with Nico which just- I love. So much.

It is so, so funny to me that Ace is putting this pressure on Nico to give an apology. And why is that? Ace treats both Nico and Levi in pretty much the same way, incredibly volatile even more so than the rest of the cast. And that makes a lot of sense given his relationship with both characters and how both of them have threatened his safety. But there is one key difference between his interactions with both of these people

(x) Levi: Ace, I already said— Ace: "Sorry" won't cut it. You know that's just a word you say, right? You think that saying two syllables is going to make me forget how you acted yesterday at that trial?

(x) Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

With Levi, he repeatedly denies and mocks his apologies. With Nico, it's almost like Ace wants them to apologize to him. But why is that? Ace certainly cares less about what Nico thinks compared to Levi, so why does he necessarily care whether or not Nico apologizes to him? You could say it's because the severity of what both of these people did to Ace, but to me personally? I think Ace just wants this all to end. Nico's murder attempt on him, the scar it left him, it was the perfect kick in the ribs to everything Ace had become since the events of Chapter 1. It confirmed to him that not only was his fear that everyone is out to get him, that he's going to be next after Xander and Min, completely justified to have. But also that his efforts to appear tough and threatening to prevent that fear from becoming reality were not only null, but thrown right back in his face.

(x) Ace: You know… Heh. I've always wondered which is worse, dying young or living a long shitty life of suffering. But it turns out neither of those options are as bad as this.

He is currently at his lowest possible point. At this point, the least that he wants is for Nico to provide him with some form of closure, so that he can put that moment where his guts were spilled on the floor to rest. But Nico isn't providing him that closure, they refuse to. And with Ace now being suspected for Arei's murder, regardless of if he survives this chapter or dies with it, I think he is finally going to break down. That hidden quote of his is fast approaching. I already know.

Rose

Rose is a character that, though I love dearly and believe she is one of the most strongly written of Despair Time's cast which is saying a lot, always somehow manages to fade into the background for me. But this episode bringing her to the forefront and giving us some extra character development from her is something I loved a lot.

For one, her clear and open betrayal towards Nico's actions was very upsetting to me, especially when you take into account that Nico asking Rose to teach them how to paint was probably the first time Rose has ever been asked to paint something for someone without a contract involved. I can imagine the idea of it must've been a breath of fresh air for her, and for it to only result in another red string in Nico's murder plan had to have been crushing.

But what's possibly even more crushing is her monologue after David gets frustrated with her, because...

(x) Rose: I know I'm supposed to remember everything. I know I'm supposed to be smart. I know I'm supposed to be helpful. Rose: Yet I'm not. Rose: I… I'm sorry for being useless. Maybe if I tried harder, if I just got over myself—

Wow this woman really does see herself as a commodity that only exists to be used by other people, doesn't she?

Something I've always appreciated about Rose's character is how it commentates on the subject of big corporations seeing art as content instead of something that was the product of someone pouring their heart and soul into a canvas. And how that mindset kills the desire for artists to create. And it is so fascinating seeing how that mindset reflects how Rose sees herself as a person.

She's one of the few characters in the cast that I can never really get a read on when it comes to where her character arc could be going, but I am very excited to see where DT-Dev takes her, even more-so with this development.

Teruko

I am like, 9999% sure this sprite is the first time she has smiled throughout this entire chapter. I am so happy for her.

Teruko, as always, stays being Best Girl™, and I absolutely adore the development given to her as well. Her realizing that her attempts to over-correct by isolating herself and not receiving help from anyone not only resulted in her getting hurt, but those around her getting hurt as well. And the fact that that's what leads her to coming to this conclusion really goes to show that, despite everything, she cares about these dumbfucks so much. And this is only taken further by her decision to trust Eden despite (HOW I INTERPRET IT) already knowing that Eden is a more likely culprit than Ace. She is choosing to trust her, regardless of if she'll regret it. And I honestly think that, regardless if Eden is the culprit or not, regardless if Teruko backslides, I think the fact that she got the courage to trust Eden at all is going to stick with her. I don't really have much else to say, really. Uhh... Teruko and Rose were kinda fruity this episode, I dunno.

David

[Sighs] This man provides us with a new headache every single episode and I love/hate him so much for it. So like...basically everyone else who watched this episode, I was confused as fuck watching whatever the hell David was pulling for the last 18 minutes of the episode. But now that I have time to think about it, I think I have a pretty stable idea. So, let's get into it.

Firstly

(x) David: Because I'm actually the first person to see the body.

Now, most people are immediately brushing this off as David lying to fuck things up again. But I think that a lot of people are forgetting two things 1. David is not a compulsive liar. He doesn't just tell lies for no/little reason behind them. The lies that he tells all have reasoning and inner logic to support them. 2. There really isn't any evidence suggesting that he couldn't had seen Arei's corpse before everyone else.

So though this point is mostly speculation, I think that David is telling the truth (sorry if this seems like an asspull, there is literally five more hours until the next episode comes out I need to speed things up)

But that's not really what I want to talk about in this section anyway, it's everything that comes after this that I want to talk about.

(x) David: All I want is for Teruko to distrust others.

...So. I think David is lying off his ass when he says that this is why he is doing this. And my reasoning for why I think that is pretty simple... Why would he care?

Like, yeah given the fact that David more than likely has Teruko's secret, he has every right to suspect that she might be affiliated with the death game, and also probably wants her dead. But...what does that have to do with Teruko's distrust in others? Not much. I think this sentence is David lying about why he is doing this to keep his true intentions underwraps. But what are those true intentions?

I can answer that pretty easily as well. David's whole argument in this part of the episode is the idea that Eden is not exempt from being the culprit. He suspects that she is the one behind Arei's murder, and I don't think that's helped by the seed planted in his head by Arei that even Eden must be responsible for the harm of someone. And well...I think we know how exactly David feels about the culprit behind Arei's murder

(x) David: Ahaha. It's just so foolish. David: For someone to take advantage of Arei like that… David: It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. David: What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.

And that leads me to what I think David is truly trying to do here: I think he is trying to get Eden voted for.

That is why he wants Teruko to believe him, and is using her trust issues against her to do so. He's seen the first trial, he saw how Teruko was able to convict Min as the culprit and convince the others to vote for her too. He wants her to do the same thing again, but for Eden. Really, it's a win-win for him. If Eden is the culprit like he suspects, then he gets to witness the unforgivable culprit get their just deserts. If Eden isn't the culprit, then everyone ends up getting executed. Which is, y'know, that other thing he really wants.

That's my personal theory on what David was trying to do here. It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. I love you, Mr. David Chiem. Please keep being confusing.

Eden

...So yeah, if you've been paying any attention to this post, I do still think Eden is the culprit. I also think during the scene with her and Teruko she is very desperate and wants to live and as a result, may have sipped a small tiny bit of the manipulation juice. But I will get to that in a bit First of all though, I absolutely loved the scene with Teruko and Eden. There is something about all of their scenes that just resonates with me in a way I can't describe, and this one is no different. The way it is shot, with the half-and-half and then the closeup on both of their expressions, and the fucking HUG CG? Luucarii and Zel both did an amazing job bringing the scene to life with their voices, and the choice to use the same OST as the kitchen scene in CH2-3 was fucking evil, especially because of what I'm about to say. All around, a fantastically orchestrated and emotional scene, I would expect no less from DT-Dev and their team.

But now it's time to talk Eden!Culprit. This is not something I should have to clarify if you aren't stupid, but I think before I really go into it I should say that I do not think Eden is an inherently malicious character, and I think she feels horrible for what she has possibly done. I also think she wants to live, like every bundle of pixels masquerading as a human. She can feel guilt for her actions and also indulge in a bit of gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. Min already proved that those two things can be simultaneous. With that out of the way... I do think that Eden is slightly manipulating Teruko here. And there is a very big reason why I think that is because of something @thebadjoe pointed out in their theory post

(x) Eden: Teruko, relationships aren't transactional. It's not that I did something good for you that you should do something good for me.

[11 episodes later]

(x) Eden: Please, Teruko… You’re my friend, aren’t you? Eden: Friends help each other…. So please, help me…

...Eden? Darling? I thought you said that relationships weren't transactional. You can't simply change your principles because they're getting closer to the truth. Putting the fact that Teruko never even considered her a friend to begin with on the shelf for right now, these two lines from Eden directly go against each other. Saying that relationships aren't transactional, and then saying that Teruko should help her because she's her friend. I think Eden knows that she is basically backed into a corner. There is no evidence suggesting that she couldn't had done it, and David is turning the tide in a way that is leading others to begin suspecting her. And just as Arei said...

(x) Arei: -you're pathetic and weak, and you always need to rely on others to get by.

Eden's is too overcome with emotion to defend herself properly, so she comes to Teruko to defend her for her. And when Teruko initially refuses, she becomes desperate. Using their relationship so that Teruko will believe her and trust her.

I don't think Eden wants to do this, but I don't think she knows what else to do, and is terrified and just wants this trial to be over. Even if it means treating her and Teruko's relationship like it's transactional. And Teruko, ultimately, gives into this idea.

(x) Teruko: Don’t… get me wrong. This isn’t out of kindness or pity or anything else. This is only because you helped me in the last trial.

(teruko is most likely simplifying her thought-process, I think she does genuinely care for eden and wants to trust her. But the idea of relationships as transactions isn't one inherently new to her, so I do think this is partially the truth.)

And I think the fact that Teruko does agree to help Eden is why Eden goes in for the hug. This is where we take that point of "Teruko never agreed to be friends with Eden" off the shelf

Eden knows that Teruko is choosing to not be her friend, despite considering Teruko as a friend. But I think in this moment, Eden thinks that Teruko finally considers her as a friend, someone she is willing to extend her hand to. And even if this day is her final one, I think Eden will appreciate forever.

Extra Thoughts !! - TERUKO SAID IT!! SHE SAID THE WORD!! THE T WORD!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT FROM HER!! another one to cross off the bingo card babyyyy - that aside, as always the voice work for this episode was fucking phenomenal. I already mentioned Luucarii and Zel's performances, but Swords and Arakachi did amazingly too. Such an amazing frosting on top of the already great storytelling.

(x) Eden: Arei is… She could have been my friend! Why would I kill her??

- maybe I'm reading too deep into it, but I honestly think this is the closest we've gotten to direct confirmation that Eden thought Arei was full of shit when she said she wanted to change. Like...she literally corrects herself. Why the fuck did she correct herself. - this isn't something I usually compliment, but the music-choice in this episode was amazing as well. Every song chosen suited the situation and the rising tension, and all of them were fucking bops. - I also adored the new sprites, as I always do. Especially Nico's

Predictions for CH2-15 - I'll be honest and say I have none. At least other than the obvious, that being that there's 100% gonna be an Ace VS Eden scrum debate.

Conclusion

This episode was a fantastic way to lead into what will probably be the last episode of the trial. I cannot wait to see what's cooking come CH2-15, which is in... [looks at my conveniently placed watch] THREE HOURS?! WHAT THE FU-

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS CH2-14

UPDATED BINGO CARD

[danthropologie]

Re the previous ask about blake holding camera = he knew

1. He has his camera in every race. I don’t know if Blake holding it meant anything.

2. He had his parents out in AD22. With SG being closer, his parents would have made it even if it was by flying private. His gf wasn’t there in AD22 either, so not making that comparison

3. Compare his pre-race interview (not even the media day one) during the parade. Complete change from the post race interview. Complete change in demeanour

Combining 2 & 3, if he knew earlier, the earliest could be right before the race. Then why would management do sth like that before the race? (Then again why does rbr do anything atp?) That man knew nothing concrete going into the weekend, just like he predicted nothing amiss before the summer break. That hell video wasn’t for nothing - no one can make me believe otherwise

Alternatively, he himself might have given rbr the ultimatum hoping to force their hand and when they didn’t get back, he finally realised he was done playing this game. He was finally disillusioned. ofc helping max was one part (i genuinely believe that played in his mind when he was asked for the FL) and sticking to mcl was another part, but at the end if the record breaking lap was what he could take away in what he believed was his last moment in the lap, he put his entire ricussy into getting it.

As much as I want to remain delulu, i think (with extreme sadness) this is it for him. Not because it’s over, but HOW it’s over. All because they decided to keep a bum like Checo. I’m ambivalent towards Yuki, but heck I am even angry on his behalf too. Genuinely gutted that rb did DR dirtier than mcl and that’s saying sth, considering all he had done for rbr and how CH and rbr paraded him around as their family member. Will never forgive them. Rbr’s downfall is gonna be something else altogether and you best believe that I will be there to witness and bask in it.

so what you're saying is that clip of helmut going over to daniel just before the race, he was actually inflicting psychological torture on him saying "you better fucking beat that guy or you're out of the sport. good luck! 😉"

no but seriously, i was with you right up until the end bit 😭😭😭 even the idea of giving them some sort of 'red bull or nothing' ultimatum that sent him spiraling i could get on board with. but i don't agree that it's over.

the crazy thing to me is that for as far as it ended up spiraling out, to ME it really just feels like a complex series of misunderstandings and miscalculations (not including the media's part in it cause i think they WERE malicious in their handling of it).

the daniel of it all is the worst part to me because obviously by the end of the weekend he HAD been convinced that it may in fact be the end. i don't believe that that was ever actually the case, but between the confidence in the way the media was reporting it, the lack of clarity from red bull, the trauma and insecurities left from 2022 mclaren and maybe even rbr over this past summer break, and the mental and emotional toll the race itself actually took on him, he was clearly worn down and left in a very vulnerable state where he drew the only real conclusions anyone in his position COULD draw.

meanwhile you have vcarb who apparently didn't know a single fucking thing, so they COULDN'T say anything because there's nothing TO say.

and then you have red bull. now clearly they DO hold some responsibility for the whole thing. they knew what the narratives were going into the weekend, and it should have been easy for them to just clarify that all drivers are going to see out the season, 2025 decision to come later. BUT that being said, i truly do not think they had any clue whatsoever just how big this thing was gonna get. i think they miscalculated in thinking a) it wasn't going to be that big and b) daniel would be able to handle it. he's done it so many times before! why wouldn't he be able to do it again! but then obviously by the time daniel's having his little menty b in the middle of the media pen, it's too late, there's not really anything they can do.

like jenna @accio-ricciardo brought up this idea the other day that it's almost like...have you ever been in a situation where someone in your life accidentally made you cry because they didn't realize you were at the end of your rope emotionally and some tiny little thing they didn't think was even a big deal sets you off and sends you sobbing? it kind of feels like perhaps that was red bull/christian/whoever with daniel. they figured he's a trooper, he'll let it wash off his back like he always does, he can handle it, not realize that he very much COULD NOT handle it because all these different factors were boiling up into the perfect shitstorm to make him absolutely lose his mind.

and if this is the case—it really was just a bunch of misunderstandings and miscalculations compounding and multiplying on each other—i've said it once, i'll say it a million times, i DO think there's a way back and way for things to continue on as they were meant to before all this shit happened. it's just a matter of apologies and reassurances and making things right, and hopefully everyone can set aside their pride enough for that to happen.

[wormheamer]

Tbh i have no fucking clue who pansear is or why you are getting pdffile allegations can you please explain the lore thats going on here.(im genuinely confused)

rain world fan artist who got involved in some pretty heavy drama a while back.

to the best of my knowledge and energy:

a minor (azrielfiend) alleged they were groomed by one of pansear's friends (0303emily). pansear at the time believed it was more just serious irresponsibility regarding nsfw subjects than actual grooming, based on their own experiences with the latter. and they said some things that were interpreted as pushing to keep it quiet.

the moderation team of the server this happened in wound up (against pansear's wishes iirc) kicking azriel without doing much about emily. azrielfiend was angered enough by that to make a ... fairly unsubstantiated callout post about the whole thing.

a lot of bad shit happened. azriel and his friends, all underage, went trawling through nsfw sites and servers in order to find dirt on people. pan came around on it being grooming, but a lot of people (including azriel) never forgave them for that initial response. a lot of harassment occurred, and a lot of accusations were thrown around — some of them outright false.

pansear ... kinda fell apart, for a while.

watching it happen instilled anxieties in me that have never really died down.

but eventually they started posting art again. things seemed to calm down, to heal. until like two weeks ago, when azriel saw pansear complain about getting banned from the roblox phighting server, got mad, and posted a series of four screenshots he'd kept waiting for a good opportunity.

these screenshots appeared to show pansear encouraging self-harm in return for drawing nsfw art, and continuing contact with 0303emily, despite their very public falling-out.

pansear had already been kind of drifting away from rain world over the continued harassment, and this was enough for them to delete all of their social media accounts. people took that as an admission of guilt, and so didn't scrutinize the pictures very closely.

all the old accusations against pan that hadn't caught on got dug up and re-examined. some time ago she drew what, frankly, from the descriptions i've heard and the censored images i've been exposed to, seems like fairly tame furry nsfw art, shared in private, leaked maliciously, and used to claim she was a zoophile.

but the screenshots are ... i'm pretty much 100% convinced that they're fake, at this point. there are too many weird coincidences, and i've been told by a trusted source that it couldn't be 0303emily in there anyway. that's not her account.

old wounds have been torn open over nothing.

it may sound stupid for me to be so deeply invested in this but i was an emotional wreck after the screenshots released. i thought they were real too. i'm still kinda fucked up over it now. this shit has and continues to hurt so many more people than just pansear, and it's not even real.

the accusations against me are because i pointed that out.

[thrumbolt]

Small guide to art posts on Tumblr:

I'm writing this because I keep seeing more and more beautiful art with absolutely terrible presentation on my dash. Presentation that is so bad it makes me sometimes not reblog the post even though I love the art itself. Call me superficial, but the presentation is part of the art as well and usually these posts also have less notes than you'd expect for the quality, so it's probably not just a me thing. That makes me sad and I want everyone to get the attention they deserve so here are my tips on how to present art on tumblr:

Put the image first, then add a small description - NOT the other way around. So many art posts have people yapping and yapping, only to then post an image in the middle of a wall of text. Don't do that! Have you ever been to a museum? Descriptions and titles should be small and below a piece of art. That's because you want to center the art as your main piece in your post.

If you have a long description or context, put it under a cut. Honestly, that is how everyone should do with long text. Nothing worse than making people scroll endlessly if they don't want to and it's also what makes people hesitate to reblog long posts. Short descriptions also give the benefit that people outside your fandom corner will be more inclined to reblog your art as well!

So generally keep text short and clear if possible. If you didn't draw the art, credit the artist above all else! I keep seeing people who commissioned something confused for the artist and it's fucking annoying. No one truly cares if you paid someone to draw something, everyone just wants to know who drew it. Also please for the love of all that is holy, do not pair your art with an embedded spotify link to a playlist. If you really want to share music, put it under a cut as well or in a hyperlink. Last thing you want is some ugly ass album cover to take away from your art!

No colorful fonts. There's a reason the majority of tumblr has ignored them ever since they were conceived (I remember the update! I was there!) and it's because it's ugly as sin and in the terms of artwork, it usually distracts from the piece as well, even if you try to color code. It's also the easiest way to out you as a newbie :D

If you have more than one page/piece in a post, consider the arrangement carefully. You do not have to accept the tumblr default - you can rearrange! In general, if it's not that many pieces, it makes sense to post them below each other rather than side by side. Make people look at your art that you spent so much time on! It's allowed to be eye catchy! If you have a more horizontal piece with short sides, consider adding a detail shot or two to lengthen your post so people don't accidentally scroll by.

Please, please stop using the huge title font in art posts, I beg you.

And that's basically it. In the end you can of course post however you like - it should please you first and foremost after all. This is just meant as tips and tricks of someone who has reblogged and posted art for over a decade on this hellhole of a page now. Some things newer people might not be aware of.

[heartorbit]

i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .

[deoidesign]

Can you tell who my favorite character is right now...

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[ratislatis]

I'll find you. Wait for me.

hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!