#but really and truly drinking something not water and not alcoholic happens like.

[bright-and-burning]

besides water, what’s your favourite drink?

my instinctual (very college athlete) reaction was to say i only drink water and variations of alcohol. i don’t drink soda really (boo carbonation), and i don’t do coffee bc caffeine puts me to sleep. i guess… oh starbucks peppermint hot chocolate used to get me through exam periods like nobody else!! i do love a good hot chocolate. my personal like winter alcoholic drink of choice is peppermint rumchata in hot chocolate… but i will drink peppermint rumchata straight out of the bottle year round LOL so good

[lotus-slumbers]

Hi! I saw your requests were open, so I was wondering if you could write a yandere batfam where they kidnap the reader, but the reader is like, super chill about it, and the family’s reaction to this. Tysm!

🪼 anon

A Gentle Place to Land (Yandere! Batfam x Accepting! GN Reader)

Content warning: yandere themes, obsession, mentions of mental illness, mentions of loss of personal anatomy and drugging. Etc.

A gentle breeze caresses you, the sunlight a gentle kiss.

Here, you could experience such a thing. A thing so close to tranquility you would almost dare to say it was. Most, if ever put in your situation, would be losing their minds. Panicking. Begging and pleading with all they could to try and change their fate. To escape.

You knew such a thing wasn't possible. You knew it from the night they had taken you. Looking into the shadowy eyes of the cowl, before the dart had punctured the tender place below your ear and the drugs entered your system, turning the world dark and dreamless.

You knew. If not the fates, they had decided and that was more than you could fight.

But it was a lot better than it had seemed.

At first, it was a ploy. Trick your captors into believing you're not going to do anything stupid and build repor to get them attached so that they won't do anything too bad to you. Hopefully, gaining their trust enough to plot an escape and succeed.

Just like those movies and true crime TV shows you've seen; comply and wait it out, wait for your chance at freedom.

Your feelings started getting mixed up really soon after. Had you forgotten about what Stockholm Syndrome was or had you been blind to the truth in the first place?

Maybe it really wasn't that bad...

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

An almost comically large sunhat place over top your head, feet propped up on the end of the chair and a cold drink in hand. You didn't even care for the sets of eyes lingering on you, you were used to strange people giving you strange looks as you went about your day in Gotham.

They know this isn't a normal person's reaction and they're worried, most waiting for this little peace to be completely discarded once the shock of the situation passes and you truly understand what has happened. Others are trying to pick apart your phycology to see if maybe, just maybe, something really is different up in that head of yours.

You? Well, you're just sipping on your cool drink before the heat makes the ice melt. You don't want Alfred's signature juice cocktail (non-alcoholic, of course, because you'll probably never be seeing a drop of that in your life again) to get watered down and ruined.

"Are we sure we didn't give then to much of that— um," Tim stalled for a moment, giving your impartial face a once over before deciding the trajectory of his sentence. "—sleeping medicine? Maybe it messed with their nervous system or something?"

"I hate to admit it but I think Drake is onto something here. I mean, who in their right mind would ever submit to this tomfoolery? Willingly being stuck with you all? Father and I, I can understand, but—"

"I never thought you'd ever agree with Tim," Jason grinned, making Damian's face turn sour.

Dick moved behind your seat, leaning down and squishing your face between his hands.

"Nothing's wrong with them!"

You gave a bright, closed eye smile that only served to further concern the man watching from the nearby window.

His butler placed a hand on his shoulder when he gave an exhausted sigh. Although, the makings of a smile did seem to tug at the corners of his lips.

"I'll make another therapy appointment, Master Bruce."

Should he be concerned about your nonchalant appearance or was it just your nature? Has some trauma happened to you previously to make you this way? Was it a trick that he was just having trouble seeing through?

Or was he overthinking this all again? Instead of overthinking it and coming up with more safety measures and plans to keep all the way he envisioned, he should be out there with his kids.

Even if it was just all a trick, there was no way you could manage to outsmart or outrun all six of them.

Bruce shook his head, sitting his drink down on the counter and heading towards the door.

"Don't bother."

[themultifanshipper]

Monaco. A truly magical place where anything can happen. Including potentially ruining your friendship with Max. With a plot twist.

The prequel to this fic.

Warnings: exhibitionism(technically), smut, choking, PinV sex, drugs and alcohol

"Max Verstappen wins the 2021 Monaco Grand Prix!"

You were pretty sure you were crying. Your best friend Max had just won the Monaco grand prix for the first time. A huge achievement in the world of F1. He lifted the trophy high above his head as you cheered from below. The whole Redbull garage was in chaos, everyone singing and cheering for Max. He winked at you before spraying champagne all over the podium, crowd, Lando and Carlos, all laughing and cheering at each other.

You couldn't help but feel sorry for Charles though, a DNF at your home race is always a hard pill to swallow. Hopefully he wasn't so bummed out that he wouldn't come out and party with you and Max, after all they had patched up their relationship since 2019 and he should be happy for his friend's win.

You, Charles and Max were close, often hanging out whenever you were staying with Max in Monaco. Usually ending up at parties until ungodly hours, you all finding company and going your seperate ways for the night, then meeting up the next day at a café, hungover and full of juicy gossip.

However this particular party felt a bit off for some reason. You'd managed to convince Charles to go out to a club instead of moping alone in his apartment. But there was a vibe. You weren't sure quite what the vibe was yet, but it was definitely there.

He was having more shots than usual, even after bad races. He was also hanging more around you instead of going to find girls to grind on and take back to his ridiculously giant bed. Not that you were complaining about it, you always welcomed Charles' company. But his arm found itself around you a little bit more often than usual. And you swore you saw him staring at your lips a bit too much for a public setting.

At one point Max found you and informed you he'd recieved a text from George, inviting you all to join him and a few other drivers at a yacht party. So you, Charles and Max went stumbling around the harbour trying to find this party.

Well, it wasn't exaclty hard.

It was the biggest yacht you'd ever seen, and in Monaco that was quite an achievement. It was more like a small cruise liner with so many people on it you were almost wondering if yachts could have a weight limit. It must have been some mega rich guy here just for the grand prix or something.

Before you could dwell on it too much however you heard a screech from above you up on the second deck.

"AYOOOO MAX! UP HERE MAN! AND YOU BROUGHT CHARLES WOOOOO! "

The three of you stared at Lando where he was hanging halfway over the railing, shirt way too open for decency, sunglasses almost slipping off his nose, and waving his glass around, getting himself quite wet. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Once you got onto the boat it was surprisingly easy to find the small group of drivers consisting of George, Alex, Lando, his friend Max, Lance, who was obviously selling something around the place, Carlos, who had obviously taken whatever Lance was selling, and Checo in a corner feeling up a girl who was definitely not his wife.

Anyway, you quickly lost both Max and Charles as you all mingled around and made acquaintances. But after a a few hours, a few drinks, and a few of whatever the fuck Lance had sold to seemingly half the boat, you got a bit lonely and set off to find people you knew.

The first person you came across was Lando, who had also taken something if the way he was incapable of focusing on your eyes as you spoke to him was any indication. He informed you that Charles had been looking for you, before going to look for some peace and quiet in the upper decks,

You got him a glass of water as thanks before going off to find Charles. It took you fucking forever. The place was huge, and you even bumped into Fernando during your quest, who greeted you with a big sloppy kiss on the cheek before sauntering off. Wow.

You found Charles sitting in one of the many upstairs rooms that sort of overlooked the deck below, where most of the crowd was, visible through massive windows.

By the time you'd finished ogling the layout you looked at Charles and found he was already staring intently at you.

"I know that look, Charles" You scolded him.

"I know you do. That's why I'm doing it" He grinned.

"Are you really that bored?"

"It is not about being bored. I want you"

You rolled your eyes. He always knew how to pick his moments, and he knew you could never resist him.

"But also..." he continued slowly, grabbing your hips and pulling you towrds him; his face changing into something more vulnerable "I want to have something Max does not"

Oh . This was a new development. Charles was jealous??

For a while now you and Charles had been fooling around. Max knew about it of course, you weren't exactly discreet, and you'd stopped counting the amount of times Charles had mentionned it off-hand in front of him. It usually happened when neither of you could find someone to take home and needed some good sex. And by god the sex was good. But that's not the point. The point was that you didn't really want this to happen on a random yacht, where anyone could see you if they looked hard enough up at the windows.

Add to that the fact you were pretty off your faces, and were possibly abandoning Max at this giant party, and it was shaping up to be the worst idea you'd ever heard.

"Because I thought this would finally be the year I would win at my home race."

"So I'm a replacement trophy?" You teased.

"Of course not" He grinned up at you "I want to give you all the pleasure that Max took away from me..."

So, you ended up on top of Charles on the bed, facing the door, riding him like your life depended on it. At some point, his hand had made it's way around your throat and was squeezing as your eyes rolled back and your rhythm faltered and your legs began to shake. He took it upon himself to grab your hip with his other hand and start slamming into you from below. You moaned loudly, not caring about all the noise you were both making as the music downstairs pounded through the walls. After all the times the two of you had done this, he knew your body like the back of his hand, expertly fucking you speechless with minimal effort.

Then, you realised with a start you hadn't locked the door when a shadow appeared under the crack and the handle turned, door swinging open.

Of course it had to be Max. Life would be two easy otherwise.

As your eyes met, his widened and you gasped, pussy tightening briefly around Charles, who took it as a sign of you being close. Embarrasingly, the idea of Max seeing you like this turned you on so much you almost came on the spot. His eyes staring you up and down, at the way your tits bounced as Charles rammed into you, at the way Charles's cock was splitting you open, and at the way you were drooling all over yourself and down Charles' wrist, your own eyes fixated on Max's.

He looked more turned on than anyone you'd ever seen. You were probably quite the sight, being dragged up and down Charles' cock like ragdoll. The thought made you clench again, so Charles groaned and tightened his hold on your throat, hips never faltering.

"Fuck- so tight. My god- rub your pretty little cunt for me and come on my cock, baby"

Max's jaw dropped as you did what you were told and started circling your clit fast and hard. He'd never seen you take orders from anyone, much less Charles. And he'd never expected Charles to talk like that, especially to you.

"Good Girl, fuck! Come on my cock." He slammed into you a few more times "That's my good girl..."

You moaned loud and you came hard around Charles, not able to keep your eyes open any longer as you rode out the waves of pleasure as he spilled deep inside you.

When your vision returned, Max was long gone, and Charles looked pretty blissed out, not realising what had just happened.

Tomorrow's debrief over coffee was going to be awkward...

[0cta9on]

Chaewon Fluff but best friends turn to lovers pleaseee!!! Really love your writing btw!!!

Thank you for the request and the kind words, sorry this took so long to put out :^) Hopefully I made up for the wait by making it extra cute and giving it that rom-com corniness :]

“Well that was…”

“...Shit.”

After weeks of catfishes and awkward talking stages, both you and Chaewon finally found dates from a dating app. Things were going fine at first - the girl you matched with was cute, funny, and matched your energy, and it seemed like things were going well with Chaewon and her match too. You brought up the idea of a double date at a KBBQ place as a fun way to get to know each other’s dates. Chaewon is your best friend after all and you wouldn’t want her to end up with the personification of a red flag.

You got to the restaurant first, talking and flirting with your date while you waited. For once, it seemed like your dating life was going in the right direction. However, that all changed when she made eye contact with Chaewon’s man. Coincidentally, both your dates were exes in a toxic relationship, evidenced by the screaming match and the mess of thrown side dishes they made as they stormed out of the restaurant, leaving you and Chaewon completely stunned.

You slump into your seat, letting out a resigned groan. “God dammit…” You mutter under your breath. Chaewon sits across from you, unsure of how to react from the altercation. The server comes by to replace the side dishes that had been tossed out by your dates alongside the meat you ordered and a bottle of soju.

“Um, we didn’t order any soju,” you say, confused.

“”Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house. You two look like you could use it.” She gives you a sympathetic look before disappearing into the kitchen. You twist off the cap and bring it to your lips before Chaewon stops you.

“Yah,” she utters, holding up a shot glass. “Give me some too.”

Chuckling, you pour her a shot which she downs almost instantly. Fatigue hangs in the air between the two of you, yet it’s almost comical in a way. Truthfully, you’re almost glad that all of this blew up in your faces. For years, you couldn’t shake the feeling that every girl you’ve ever dated was just “wrong” for you. You thought it was stress from school or work that made it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship, but that feeling lingered even at the best of times. The fact that you don’t have to go through the ordeal of breaking up with someone again felt refreshing.

“I’m sorry that happened,” you say, finally breaking the prolonged silence.

“Eh, it’s fine. To be honest, I’m kinda glad that happened.”

Your ears perk up with intrigue. “Really?”

“He was a nice guy and all, but something just felt… off,” she admits, blankly watching the meat cook on the grill as if she’s lost in thought. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for dating.”

“I’ll drink to that.” You pour out more shots for the both of you, the smooth liquid slipping down your throat and slowly releasing your inhibitions.

“What about you?” She mutters. “It looked like you really liked her.”

“I mean…” You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling. Did you really actually like her, or were you just playing the role that you were supposed to play? You bought her gifts, you kissed her, you slept with her, but aren’t those things boyfriends are expected to do? Did you really, truly feel anything for her?

“I don’t know. I thought I did, but… maybe not.”

Chaewon snickers as she pours another shot, a glimpse of a smirk dancing on her lips.. “I guess we’re both just unlucky, huh.”

You can’t help but laugh at your predicament, downing another shot like it’s water. The alcohol swims around in your system, loosening you up and making you forget about the girl in a matter of seconds. In fact, the only thing you can think about is the girl sitting in front of you, drinking her problems away just like you are.

“I just had a funny thought,” Chaewon snickers, the alcohol taking a noticeable toll on her already. 

You lean forward, intrigued. “What is it?”

“What if…” She pauses for dramatic effect, peering deeply into your eyes. You feel warmth enveloping your cheeks and you're not sure if it’s from the soju or her. “...Never mind.”

“Yah, Kim Chaewon!” You exclaim, annoyed.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid.” She sinks into her seat, covering her face in embarrassment.

“I promise you, there’s nothing you could say that could make this night any worse.”

Her gaze falls to the ground as she nervously twiddles her fingers. She looks so cute when she makes that face like she’s deep in thought. Her nose scrunches and her cheeks puff up slightly, it makes you want to just pinch her cheeks. For the first time that night, you notice her outfit - like really notice her outfit. The black mini dress hugs her petite frame, making her look like a doll. You want nothing else but to hold her and kiss her pretty face and tell her how beautiful she is and-

“Why are you staring?”

You shake your head, getting a grip on reality for a moment. “Nothing. Anyways, what were you going to say?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you. But… you can’t laugh,” she says, her words slurring just a bit.

“No prob, bob.” You laugh at your own joke, which goes unnoticed by Chaewon.

“When we turn 30…. Why don’t… we get married?”

You freeze completely, unsure of whether or not you heard correctly. Is she that drunk already that she would suggest something as insane as that? You two have been best friends since diapers, you grew up together, you’ve seen each other at your lowest lows and celebrated each other's highest highs. You know everything there is to know about Kim Chaewon. A strange warmth fills your chest, a warmth that’s definitely not from the alcohol. Before you can even think, the words are spoken aloud.

“Why wait?”

Chaewon’s head shoots up, flustered. “W-what?!”

It takes you a second to process your own words. As you meet her eyes, you feel something that you never felt for the other girl. That lingering feeling you’ve had for ages has grown, filling every cell in your body. “I-I mean… we’ve known each other our whole lives. It only makes sense right? No awkward talking stages, no misunderstandings. Just… you and me.”

Time freezes around you, neither of you saying another word or even blinking. Suddenly, Chaewon storms out of the restaurant, leaving you drunk and confused. Did you say something wrong? Or maybe you didn’t say anything at all? Maybe you drank so much that you’re actually passed out on the table and this entire thing is just a weird dream.

“Yah, are you gonna go after her or not?” You turn towards the sound of the voice to see the server standing over you, a look of urgency in her eyes.

“Wha-��

She slaps your shoulder. “Hurry up fool, she’s getting away!” The pain in your shoulder is a sign that this is all very real and not a dream. You quickly grab your jacket and run out the door, a gust of cold air sobering you up.

“Chaewon!” You frantically search through the crowded streets, illuminated by a few dingy street lights. In the distance, you spot her hailing down a taxi. You shove through the crowd, receiving some dirty looks and expletives from strangers, but you don’t care. You just need her. You’ve always needed her. And she’s one foot inside the taxi, about to disappear forever.

Right as she goes to shut the door, you reach out and grab her wrist, stopping her. “Wait!” You exclaim.

“W-what?” Her voice quivers like a delicate feather in a harsh wind, threatening to break. Chaewon’s head is turned away from you, not daring to meet your eyes.

“Don’t go. Please. Not until we talk about this.”

“W-what is there to talk about, it was just a stupid idea anyways-”

“No, it’s not!” Your entire body feels warm despite the frigid winds as your heart thumps with the weight of an entire sun. “I don’t know why it took me so long to realize, but I just can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without you. I thought maybe if I kept looking, I would find the one, but… You were right here all along.”

Chaewon finally turns to look at you, revealing the tears falling from her eyes, glistening like diamonds against her skin. “I-I can’t…”

You gently cup her face, wiping her tears away with your thumbs. “We can make it work-”

“No!” She shouts, hitting your chest with her fist. She collapses into you, sobbing, and all you can do is hold her until she eventually calms down. Fear, confusion, pain, all of these emotions swirl in your mind like a tornado, wreaking havoc on everything you know and feel, making it impossible to think straight.

Chaewon pushes away from you slightly, still sniffling. “Every relationship I’ve ever been in… It always ended badly… A-and… I don’t want you to hate me too…”

You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Nothing you could ever do could make me hate you. You could hit me with a car and I would still love you,” you joke.

“Yah,” she exclaims weakly, laughing through the tears. “Don’t try to cheer me up, you’re too good for me.” Suddenly, her face turns serious as she peers up at you. “D-did you just say you… love me?”

You pull Chaewon into a delicate kiss, causing her to freeze in shock. Eventually, she melts into the kiss, wrapping her arms around your head and lazily playing with your hair. Her plush lips feel like heaven against yours, a feeling that you never want to let go of. Everything about her feels correct. No lingering thoughts about another girl, no expectations of filling a role, just pure love.

“I’ve always loved you, Chaewon. And I always will,” you say as you look straight into her irises. Chaewon smiles before pulling you into another kiss, one that warms you up despite the shivering breeze blowing past. A kiss that is nothing short of perfect.

[undertheorangetree]

Like Real People Do

Summary- A recollection of happier times.

Warnings- MDNI 18+ Female Reader. Reader is basically Lucy Gray. Alcohol consumption. Fingering. Handjob. Giggly drunkness. A little thigh riding. Blissful ignorance<3

Author's Note- This is a surprise part three to In the Woods Somewhere and Cherry Wine though it can probably be read as a stand alone. I really like writing this pairing and I wanted something softer for them so enjoy.

series masterlist

It’s hot.

Stiflingly so.

Though it had been hot all day- District Twelve had been suffering something of a heat wave for weeks now- it’s worse inside the Hob. So many bodies packed together, each one of them plied with white liquor and dancing until sweat drips from them like rain water off a roof, it’s no surprise that she had begun to sweat herself. She can feel her clothes sticking to her despite being relatively loose, clinging to the line of her spine and between her breasts, but she ignores it as she fights her way through the crowd.

Despite the coal miners and Peacekeepers that litter the floor, dancing with whatever girl they can get a yes from, she has her sights set on one man in particular, one who has plastered himself to the farthest wall. She stumbles along the way, having drunk a fair share of her own moonshine, but she manages to make it to Coryo and his group of friends regardless. Sejanus smiles when he sees her, greeting her kindly, and she grins as she half stumbles toward Coryo. Though it was not her intention, somehow she manages to trip her way into his lap, landing heavy on his thighs. Her clumsiness triggers loud laughter from his friends, something she joins in on as Coryo’s arms wrap tight around her waist, adjusting her weight so she can sit more comfortably on his lap. He really must be drunk if he’s allowing her to stay put rather than politely helping her up and such a public display of affection makes her heart swell.

She has been so disgustingly happy since his surprise arrival in Twelve, incandescently so. To have him so close, within reach, is enough to leave her near giddy. Though she knows it has come under less than ideal circumstances for him- his peacekeeping duties akin to exile- he has seemed happy enough whenever he has been with her. She keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something awful to happen just as it always has, but for three weeks there has been nothing but bliss. Though there have not been ample opportunities to see each other, there have been number enough for her to enjoy his company and all that had to offer, far more than they ever had in the Capitol, and nothing else could possibly make her happier.

She slings her arms around him, dragging her fingers lightly along the nape of his neck as she admires his pretty face. The line of his nose, his cheekbones, his pretty lips. Everything about him seems so impossibly perfect, so handsome and kind and all hers. For a moment, she just stares in awe of him as he chats with Sejanus, his thumb running a soothing line up her hip and under her shirt. That alone is enough to make her heart beat faster as she shifts in his lap, reveling in the feeling of his hand on her. It shouldn’t feel as good as it does- his warm fingers on her already sweaty skin- but she finds that there is nothing she likes more than that now.

Well. Almost nothing.

He leans forward to fetch his mason jar of moonshine, arm tightening around her waist as he does it, and she can feel the bulge of his cock beneath her as they move, already reacting to little more than her weight in his lap. Perhaps it’s just the drink, but she swears she feels his breathing speed up when she shifts her hips experimentally, nostrils flaring as he raises his glass to his lips. His eyes turn down to watch her carefully as he drinks, the challenge there clear, and that look alone is enough to make her want to press her thighs together.

Perhaps she should have more willpower, make him truly work for her attention, but she doesn’t see the point in that, not really. Why deny themselves what they really want?

Keeping his eye, she reaches out and takes the jar from him, raising it to her own lips to steal a swig. He watches her intently as she does it, so intense a part of her wants to shrink under his gaze, but she forces herself to sit tall, fighting her wince at the alcohol’s burn as she licks her lips, hands the glass back, and leans into his ear, arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

“Are you busy?” she whispers against the shell of it, attempting to sound as innocent as possible. She pulls back to watch his face as he looks to her, watches as his eyes, hazy and slow, meet her own. She has given nothing away, not really, but he’s so smart, her Coryo, and if the way the lust seems to cloud his eyes at her question is any indication, he knows exactly what she is asking for. Squeezing the back of his neck to encourage an answer, she fights a giggle at the near mechanical way he shakes his head and grins again. “Can I steal you away then?”

Read the rest here :)

[bloodwrittenballad]

Satisfaction Guaranteed | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader x Jake Seresin

Summary: Maybe tipsy, tmi confessions aren’t so bad after all

Warnings: Smut, threesome, oral, pnv, swearing, mentions of drinking, readers call-sign is maze, use of the pet name baby like a lot, not proofread. wrote this on a whim. a horny whim. 18+ ONLY, NO MINORS. Please, don’t be a silent reader. Feedback is highly appreciated, so are reblog. Let me know what you think! And if you would like to see more of these three! Enjoy, and happy reading ;)

You should really stop talking.

No, seriously, you need to stop talking. The more you say, the worse it gets. You’re a few drinks in and then bam! Suddenly you’ve decided to spill your guts out - not literally, thankfully - to your two best pals. Jake Seresin and Bradley Bradshaw. Two of the hottest and greatest men you knew had now heard every single thing they ever needed about your sex life. Or, well, lack there of. “Yeah and like, noooone of my exes ever wanted to go down on me. Not one! B-but I’m expected to give them head?! How unfair is that!” You hiccuped, as you dug yourself deeper into a hole.

But what was worse, was that they weren’t even stopping you. Maybe the alcohol was hindering their better judgment too? Either way, you were never going to come back from this. The shit eating smirks on their face and the looks they shared - the ones they thought you wouldn’t notice - only made you feel like more of an idiot as you finally began to rein in your pitiful rambling. “Oh, god, I totally just ruined the mood? Didn’t I?” You said in an embarrassed little squeak, face falling into your hands as you tried to hide from their piercing gaze. “Actually, Maze, I think you just heightened the mood.” Jake said, his voice low. You looked up, hands falling back down to your side as you caught Bradley’s eyes. Maybe it was the one too many drinks you consumed, or the sexual frustration that has been building up for months, but something in the way he was looking at you… fuck, it made you feel like a giddy teenager after a first date.

“Ya know, Maze, I think Hangman is right. I also think you’re right,” Rooster began. He noticed the way your eyes lingered on his face, more particularly, his lips… You gave him a look of confusion, nodding for him to continue. “It is unfair that no one’s repaid the favor of going down on you. Hell, it’s a downright shame.” Oh Christ almighty, you had to be imagining this. There was no way he was actually saying this right now. You could just die of embarrassment right now. “But I’m thinking that could change tonight, if you want it to.”

Okay what? This really, truly could not be happening. “I- Um- Huh?” You barely managed to get out, and Jake chuckled at your response. If now was the time for teasing, he’d say you looked like a fish out of water, with the way your eyes were wide and your mouth hung open as you tried to form words. But, Hangman was feeling nice, so he decided to help you out. “I think what Rooster here is trying to get at, is that he’d like to show you what you’ve been missin’ out on. I would too,” He said with a wink. Jesus fuck.

“Y-you b-both wanna…” you trailed of. ���Fuck you? Yeah, darlin’. We do. Real bad, too.” As if Jake couldn’t get any cockier already, this was only feeding in to his attitude even more. “So, Maze, what do you say? How about you let Hangman and I show you how it’s done? Satisfaction guaranteed.” Rooster chimed in with a wink, and if you couldn’t feel your heart racing at a thousand miles per hour, you would’ve figured you died and gone to heaven.

“Okay,” you said. Maybe a little desperately, but hey, they offered.

And that’s how you found yourself in this moment now, with Bradley between your legs as Jake held you against his chest. His strong, tan arms around you for support as you rested your head against his shoulders and moaned out. “Fuck! Bradley, right there!” You cried out, feeling his mustache burning roughly on the soft skin of your inner thighs. It was glorious, like nothing you felt before. Well, really, it was nothing you felt before. But it definitely wasn’t like how you imagined it, or even read about. No, this was so much better. “You like that, baby? Does it feel so good, getting that pretty, needy little pussy taken care of after so long?” Jake hummed low in your ear.

“Yes! Fuck yes! So good!” Moaning out loudly, your thighs clenching around Bradley’s head. Bradley chuckled against your pussy, the sensation only bringing you closer to relief. “You gettin’ close, baby? You gonna come on my tongue?” Bradley asked, bringing his hot mouth away from your wet pussy for just a moment to ask, but still working you with his thick fingers. You nodded, the shine of the sweat on your forehead was like a beacon as he caught sight of your face and the pleasure that was painted on it.

“I’m s’close,” you managed to get out. The grip you had on Jake arms only tightened when Bradley’s mustache made contact with your clit. Dipping your head back in a moan, Jake attached himself to the skin of your neck. Licking, sucking, kissing any and every square inch he possibly could. “Come for me, baby. Come on my tongue, I know you want to.” Bradley encouraged you, his mouth still moving on you so quickly as you approached the heavenly gates of orgasmic bliss, before coming. And hard. “Fuck, shit, oh my God!” you moaned out, swears tumbling from your mouth as your body shook with your release. “That’s it, that’s our good little baby,” Jake spoke into your ear. His words of encouragement not stopping until you touched back down to earth again

And when you finally let out a heavy breath and opened your eyes, that’s when you noticed. Bradley, still sat on the edge of the bed and between your legs, was soaking wet. And the look on his face, was priceless. “Good God, baby, look at the mess you made,” Jake said in a laugh as he looked down at Bradley, who was still looking at you in complete awe. “Damn, baby,” said Rooster as he licked his lips. “I didn’t know you could do that,” you didn’t know either. You’ve never squirted before, but somehow Bradley managed to completely change your world in a matter of seconds. “I-I didn’t either,” you spoke. “That was-” you began, but the two men cut you off.

“So hot,” they said. “Yeah,” you said in a breathy laugh. “You ready for more?” Jake asked, and that’s when you could feel it. His hard on, pressing right against your lower back. “Because I still haven’t gotten my turn, and if Bradshaw can get you to react like that, you can only imagine the things that I’ll do.”

And thus, is how found yourself, yet again, being completely and totally lost in the pleasurable thralls of your two fellow aviators fucking you. Jakes cock was buried deep in you, reaching places no one had before, as Bradley sucked on your neck and toyed with your tits and clit. The room was hot and heavy, filled with moans and skin slapping skin all around as you came once again that night. Yeah, it was safe to say that satisfied was definitely guaranteed.

[moonlight-prose]

✧ TANGLED IN YOUR WEB ✧

a/n: this fic fucking tested my sanity. i almost gave up on kinktober altogether cause of this fic. i had a lot of doubts about this story and it took me way too long to write, but it's finally done and we're here. miguel o'hara can truly snap my spine in half over a counter top any day. hope y'all enjoy the fic.

day nine - bloodplay | kinktober 2023

summary: "you’d offered up a simple challenge. minuscule compared to what you two fought out in the depths of the city tonight, and that’s why he played along."

word count: 2.1k+

pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, bloodplay, tw blood, TW BLOOD, p in v sex, dirty talk but not really, tad bit of pain kink, biting, they're both equally unhinged in this one.

The rain had practically soaked through your suit as you clambered through the partially open window of your apartment. Your mask discarded on the nearby table in favor of you grabbing something to drink. Preferably alcohol—partially to pour on the gaping wound on your side—but water would do. It had been a long night of patrolling the city. Originally you were looking forward to nothing happening, but then he hit. The beast that didn’t have a name yet.

You wanted to call him a dinosaur.

Miguel settled on lizard.

It remained an ongoing debate.

“You know I’m right,” you said, gulping down the tall glass of water as he swiftly crawled through the window. Sliding it shut behind him as if it were the front door.

“I’m not arguing with you anymore.”

Your lips pulled up, eyes tracking the way he leaned more to the right than the left. “Which means I’ve won.”

Crimson irises snapped up, something flashing in them that sent your insides haywire. “There’s nothing to win.”

Something he more than not ignored was the competitive streak that seemed to be riddled throughout his body deeper than the spider genes. Stubbornness was second nature to him. Which made him a great leader. Yet that was his own hubris in a fucked up nonsensical way. He refused to back down—even if it was over something small like this. Even you had to admit this was…minuscule at best. But you had taunted him with an intangible prize and he was intrigued to see what came from it.

“I’d like to win something,” you replied, reaching for the zipper on your suit and shoving it down. Drops of blood spilling onto the floor, staining the wood a darker color.

“You need to get patched up.”

The wound would heal eventually and with ease, but you’d been on the receiving end of Miguel’s need to keep you safe. Even if it meant sitting still and letting him bandage you up. Although you could call him a hypocrite for doing it—never allowing you to be the one who fixed him up. Who took care of him. You understood why it happened, why he felt this constant need to avoid helping himself.

He didn’t think he needed it.

You supposed that was the irony of being Spider-Man. You believed you could do everything on your own…until you couldn’t.

“I’ll make you a deal,” you said, leaning against the counter dressed in only your bra and underwear—fully aware that his eyes were dragging slowly along your form. Spreading a slow syrupy heat through your body. “You let me fix that wound and I’ll let you do what you want.”

His eyes darkened, lips curling up at the corners—his fangs poking out slightly. “You’ll let me?”

Even though he stood a few feet away you could hear it. The thud of his heart rate increased, his scent permeated your nose as you watched the calculation run through his mind. What would come out of tonight. You’d offered up a simple challenge. Minuscule compared to what you two fought out in the depths of the city tonight, and that’s why he played along. Why he took one step closer, his hands coming to rest on either side of you—palms pressing into the counter’s edge.

“Seems like a fair deal to me,” you said, pressing a finger to his suit. You could practically feel the hum of it come to life beneath your touch, begging you to ask for it to melt away and reveal his skin to you.

He huffed, his nose dragging along your cheek. “You and I have different meanings of fair.”

You smiled, sly and teasing as his lips brushed against yours, his heart now a loud echo in the otherwise silent room. “What are you talking about? I always play fair.”

“Mentirosa,” he scoffed.

Biting down on your bottom lip, you did what you could to stifle the laugh that nearly spilled free. “I’m not a liar—”

His hand curled around your jaw, thumb tugging on the small indent you’d left on your lip with your teeth. Crimson eyes traced the curve of your face, the way your pupils dilated at his touch. He could smell you in the air just as you could with him, and that only spurred him forward. Brought the desire forward in his mind until all he could focus on was the sight of you—the want clear in your eyes.

“What I want…” He curled his hand around your thigh, lifting it up slightly until you got the hint of what he was trying to do. Hoisting you up, he helped you sit on the counter, making space between your legs. “Is to take care of you.”

“Mig—”

You were cut off when his lips slid against yours, broad hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer. Until the thin fabric of your panties was pressed to his suit—his hips canting forward when you gasped. But the sensation was nothing compared to the way his tongue licked into your mouth, spreading the taste of copper from where he’d taken a hit so hard his lip split. You licked it up, as if you were voracious for the taste. For any meager amount of him you could get, even if that was the crimson warmth that coursed through his veins.

Sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, you felt his claws scrape along your hips. Ripping at the fabric until you heard an audible tear echo in the room. The dampness now being replaced by wandering fingers.

“You ripped them,” you pouted, nails scraping along the back of his neck.

He shrugged, dipping his fingers down and spreading your pussy, the slick practically pouring out of you. “I’ll buy you new ones.”

“Mentiroso—”

A low rumble vibrated in his chest, his fangs scraping against your jaw—a slight sting of pain blooming along your skin. “Cuidado nena.”

A spark started in your body, causing your skin to feel warmer than usual. You wondered if it was due to the wound that still bled steadily—the red now staining his palm as he covered it with his hand. Fingers still slid along your clit gently, barely touching you with the pressure you needed, and you whined into his neck. Gripped his hair in one hand and slid your palm down to his own wound. The claw marks deep and jagged along his skin.

“Let me fix you up Miggy,” you pleaded, spreading your legs a bit wider, another wave of slick coating his fingers.

“Soon bebita,” he murmured, sliding two fingers into you down to the knuckle and punching the air from your lungs. “Gotta take care of you first. Make sure you cum.”

Your mouth fell open, eyes fluttering shut when he curled his fingers, pressing down on the spot that had your body jerking. Pain blossomed like a fucked up flower around your wound, blood streaking down to your hip as he gripped you. But that only served to string you up even higher. Make your head hazy with the thought of him being so hungry for you that he’d fuck you like this. Bloody and raw.

“Fuck—” You choked, fingers digging down into his wound and feeling the warmth of his blood spill into your hand. “Want you inside me—oh fuck—”

He grunted, yanking his fingers from your wet heat and slamming a button on his watch—his suit disappearing within seconds. Revealing the hard planes of his body to your gaze. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to form words, but all that escaped was a soft breathy moan. Barely anything, but he felt the sound shoot straight to his chest. The warmth you emanated into his heart now spilled out between his fingers, threatening to drown him.

“Shit,” he muttered, gripping his cock and pressing it against your clit, tapping it lightly until your legs trembled—head tilting back slightly. “You want me to fuck you nena?”

Digging your nails into his shoulder, you nodded your head, desperate to have him inside you. “Please, fuck please. I’ll let you do whatever you want—-”

He sunk into you completely, filling you with one thrust and grinning at how you cried out, your legs tightening around his hips. There was nothing that felt like this. The slight sting of pain that only added to whatever built in your body. His hand was still coated in your blood, spreading it along your thigh as he gripped you, teeth set and bared as his face contorted in pleasure. Your walls fluttered around him, squeezing his cock, and Miguel felt another shred of his sanity slip free.

“Oh—” Blood streaked across his chest when your hand pressed to his heart, feeling the heavy thud of it beneath his skin. You knew that a part of it belonged to you—beat solely for you.

“Already told you,” he gasped, setting a pace that had your eyes rolling back, a keening moan ripping from your throat. “Wanna take care of you.”

“You do.” Pressing your lips to his in a messy kiss, you felt his fangs scraping across your bottom lip. “Oh god you do.”

His thumb hooked onto your bottom lip, pulling at it slightly and watching your tongue peek out. Sucking his finger into your mouth. You could taste yourself on his skin, taste the tang of your slick. He pressed you even closer, his bloody hand curling around your back and keeping your chest pressed to his. If he listened close enough he could hear the beat of your heart—the sound mixing beautifully with the echo of his cock pounding in and out of you.

“Que linda,” he whispered, lips brushing against yours—hand moving to grip the nape of your neck. “My precious girl. Perfect fuckin’ girl.”

His fingers pulled from your mouth, pressing to your clit and watching your entire face go slack—body practically melting into his hold. The pleasure that coursed through your body was nearly too much. But you fought to keep your eyes open, wanting to watch him tear at the seams. See him lose what was left of his mind.

“I-I’m gonna…”

His fingers moved quicker, tilting your hips at the perfect angle, hitting a spot that wrought a cry from your lips. You broke apart in his arms, shattering like glass and moaning his name raggedly into his mouth. Your cunt pulsed, tightening around his cock, coating him in your slick. He growled, fingers biting into your wound as he sped up his pace, fucking into you and chasing his own release.

“There you go,” he groaned, feeling the tightness pull across his stomach, muscles taut and unrelenting. “You look so pretty when you cum bebita.”

“Yeah?” you whimpered, scratching your nails along his back, lips sliding along his jaw. “Bet you look even better mi vida.”

A sound tore from his throat—high and sharp. Eliciting a spark of heat to shoot down your spine. Setting your teeth into his shoulder you sunk them into his skin, feeling them create an indent and possibly a bruise. A mark that would be sealed into his skin for the remainder of the night. Something to show…he was yours.

“F-Fuck,” he spit, his hips colliding with yours one more time before grinding up into you. “Mi amor—“

The feel of your thumb digging into his wound, spreading the blood even further did him in. He came with a hoarse shout, lips pressing against yours, teeth clacking together roughly. You moaned softly, relishing in the way he practically spilled out of you, coating the coarse hair at the base of his cock.

He took in a deep breath, shuddering at the aftershocks, leaning his weight against you. The night had drained you both of energy—leaving you ready to collapse. But Miguel had yet to let you simply fall into bed.

Pulling out of you with a soft hiss, he reached behind you for the clean towel left there from this morning. He didn’t say anything as he cleaned up the mess you two made—pressing a quick kiss to your lips and tapping your ass to signal you should move. Which you did. Slowly. And only with the help of his arm wrapped around your waist—fingers splayed along your hip.

“Miguel,” you murmured, eyes drooping with exhaustion as he sat you on the bed, moving around in search of bandages. Still naked and covered in blood.

“One second…”

“Miggy.” You took hold of his wrist, drawing him close enough for you to pull him down for a kiss. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

The words were a soft brush of air along his cheek, but he heard them loud and clear. His lips pulled up into a grin, heart aching with the sheer emotion that mounted in his chest. Pulling him beneath the waves of something he once ran from. That fickle emotion that never sat quite right. Before you that is.

“Siempre mi amor,” he said against your lips. “Siempre.”

[marthawrites]

Pretty Girl

Modern Aemond Targaryen x fem reader

Word count: 6.8k+

About: There's been some weird stuff happening in the woods and your boss buys top of the line security cameras. You definitely weren't expecting to hit it off so well with the tech guy who is much more than a tech guy.

Includes: Meeting, first date, some drinking, explicit sexual content (fem receiving oral, p in v)

Note: Hello lovely reader! This is my first modern Aemond story. This idea has been rolling around my head for a good month or two. I wasn't expecting to go so deep, but the ideas kept coming and I ran with them! Reader is nondescript and implied to be 21+ due to alcohol consumption. As always, please enjoy! ♥

read pt 2 here

-

The bright chime of your text tone cut through the mellow voiced narrator of your current podcast obsession: supposed real life horror stories. Perhaps not the smartest thing to listen to while alone ten miles deep into the forest in the ranger's cabin. But, whatever. What's life without a little risk, anyway? Swiping your screen open revealed your boss' message.

Hey kid. Running late. That tech guy is scheduled to be there for the installation at 9:30. We had a minor family emergency here. Everything is fine. I'm working to head out within the hour. Text you when I'm on the road.

It was already 9 and you knew there wasn't a chance in hell Joey would be there by the time the install person showed up. Great. You ran a hand down your face and, since you were alone, didn't fight the groan that adamantly broke free. Customer service – this could be considered customer service, right? – was never your forte. There was a reason you went to school for forestry. Mostly so you wouldn't have to deal with customers on the regular. You texted back:

I'm glad everything is fine! But, if I end up ax murdered by this freak I'm going to haunt you forever. Also, you're to take care of Charles. He's very needy.

A minute later the chime broke the podcaster's voice again:

Oh please. They're a very respectable family. How is a fish needy? Don't they just need tap water?

You laughed out loud, reading the message in Joey's rumbling baritone.

That's right, boss. Tap water and cheerios!

When you didn't hear back from him within the next few minutes you could only assume he started driving.

You had a good twenty minutes to kill while waiting for this person and weren't quite sure how to spend your time. A cool early-spring rain poured all morning, and an angry late-winter wind sent the trees swaying all around. You weren't going out there if you didn't have to. In fact, you threw another log into the wood stove and brewed up a fresh pot of coffee. No reason to stress about trying to look busy when you knew your boss would be doing the same thing if he were here with you waiting.

Once the coffee was finished you fixed yourself a cup and sat by the fire, completely absorbed by the tale in your ear: friends camping with no one else around, being taunted by something. A truly unsettling tale regardless it it were paranormal, a druggie, or a stalker.

A knock on the front door nearly sent the remainder of your hot beverage spilling and your fingers visibly trembled as they touched your earbud to pause the story. Jesus Christ. Did the person arrive in a fucking spaceship? You didn't hear anything coming up the gravel road nor parking in the gravel lot. Taking a few deep breaths to settle your racing nerves, you stood and walked to the door. You cracked it open to the width of your head, just enough to see the person standing on the, thankfully, well covered porch. “Can I help you?”

“Hm. You don't look like a Joey Wagner,” the man on the porch mat said, a single pale brow arching.

Holy shit. He was really handsome. “No. He's my boss. I'm one of the forest rangers beneath him. What can I help you with?” You opened the door wider in an attempt to get a sight of whatever vehicle he showed up in. Despite not having much knowledge in cars, you knew that “T” anywhere. So, you were right: he might as well have shown up in a spaceship.

“I'm Aemond Targaryen. I'm here to install the Vhagar security system and cameras,” he paused and looked around, curious of the exterior of the ranger's lodge and surrounding woods. “I'm.. a... I'm a little surprised you want such a system here.”

“You and me both. Apparently it's your best one, right? I dunno what's been spooking Joey but whatever it is must be pretty weird. That thing's probably my entire yearly salary and then some,” you laughed dryly, gesturing to the briefcase he held. “I'm Y/N,” you added with a smile. “He's running late this morning, but told me you'd be here. I was expecting someone more, uhm...,” you tilted your head and closed one eye as if you were looking at him through a telescope. “Nerdy?” You mused aloud, nose scrunching with the somewhat embarrassing admission.

That sent a grin across his face. His chin tilted up as he regarded you down the long straight line of his nose. “I could say the same about you and forest rangers.”

Beneath your green and tan uniform your skin prickled. Something in you thrummed. This was bad news. Very bad news. When the hell was Joey going to be here? You tried to shake off the sensation his sweeping gaze gave you. He had a long paling scar over his the right side of his angular chiseled face, and there seemed to be something off about his right eye too. You didn't say anything about it and tried not to stare. “Anyway, wanna get started? It's warmer in here, I promise,” you gestured a thumb over your shoulder and swung the door wide so he might step inside.

“Yeah, thanks. It'll take awhile to get all finished. The rest of today and maybe half of tomorrow or so, too,” he admitted as he strode inside.

You whistled lowly at that – at his remark, not his backside – unaware it'd be such an ordeal. “That long?” His hair was long and beautiful in a way you didn't often see men wear their hair; so blonde it was a silvery-white. He had it pulled back in a simple ponytail. It hung a little loose and you couldn't help but wonder if he put it up in haste this morning. Aside from his Adidas shoes (which stuck out adorably, you thought to yourself), he wore all dark colors. Blacks, grays, and only the barest hints of white. Jacket, sweater, the neck of what you assumed was a t-shirt, and straight legged pants. Casually and mindfully layered.

Inside was much warmer, indeed. So much so that Aemond immediately took his jacket off. The simple gesture sent clean laundry and the faintest trace of cologne wafting your way; the fine muscles behind your ears flexed with the reveal. His sweater looked unbearably soft and you hated yourself for being so drawn to a man you literally just met three minutes ago. He was unfairly good-looking, yeah, but what if he was a jerk too because of it? "You weren't lying," he said, giving you a glance from his left side. "It's cozy. Is it just you here?"

You gestured him to follow you through the place. "For now, yeah. Here's the security room. Everything's open and unlocked so you should be able to do whatever you need to. Joey will be here eventually." The room was a little cramped with multiple monitors, desks, cabinets, and general clutter; papers, writing things, wrappers, cups, the like. "Oh shit. Sorry sorry. I should have cleaned it up. I didn't realize the boss left it such a mess," heat rose in your cheeks as you rolled your eyes, annoyed.

"I'm not worried," he replied calmly, seemingly unbothered by the mess. Taking advantage of a clean space you just cleaned, he placed the briefcase atop it and opened it up. With your back to him he found himself giving you another glance or two, grinning privately. How could someone make that uniform look so good?

"Care for coffee or water?" You asked, all the counter space now clear of clutter. Various wrappers crinkled in your pockets and you held four empty cups between both hands.

"Coffee, please. Black," he answered.

You pushed the door further open with the help of your foot and butt, leaving Aemond alone to get started on the lengthy process. Once in the kitchen you gave yourself a few extra minutes to collect yourself. Frankly, you felt half-silly for being so enamored by this tall, lithe, long haired stranger. He probably had a girlfriend back home!

"Here you are," you said upon returning, placing a mug down for him.

"Thank you," he said, turning his gaze up to you appreciatively. "Do you ever see weird things on these in the middle of the night?"

Instead of sitting down you opted to stand with one hand on your hip and the other flat atop the desk. You leaned against the edge and turned your head to look over the various monitors in an attempt to not stare at him. "Sometimes," you answered honestly, weighing how much you wanted to divulge. "Lights with no apparent light source are a more common occurance. Sick animals can look extremely strange," you paused and chuckled nervously. "Of course, there's always random homeless people, vagabonds, and even drunk or drugged out people." From your peripheral you realized he hadn't taken his eyes off you and it sent a shudder of embarrassment down your back. Did you have something on your face? "What?" You asked, turning your attention to him, then, breath catching in your throat.

It was his turn for color to creep in his cheeks. "Ugh. I was staring, huh? Sorry. You're just, uh... really pretty," he said, caught and guilty, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was expecting a Joey to match that deep voice on the phone. Not like a Dawson's Creek Joey."

Before you had a chance to reply the front door swung open and the booming voice of the actual Joey called, "hey, hey, so sorry to be late! Damn dog killed another squirrel and my youngest was the one to find it. Poor thing nearly had a panic attack."

"Oh damn. Sorry to hear that, boss," you hollered back, cringing.

"Hard lessons for kids to learn," he said, appearing in the doorway sipping on his own cup. He was a big man and easily took up the whole width of it, and the chair he sat upon groaned beneath his weight. "Enough of that though! If it isn't Aemond Targaryen of Dragon Security! I was surprised as shit to hear it'd be you installing these. Don't you normally have grunts to do this work?"

Aemond chuffed and shook the older man's massive hand. "Usually, yeah. My dad's fixing to retire soon and my older brother doesn't want to take up the mantle. So here I am doing boots-on-the-ground training to get a feel of things before taking his place."

"Good boy! You'll be the youngest wealthiest mother fucker around!" He belly laughed and clapped his free hand atop Aemond's. "Now! Walk me through this. This ain't no joke. There's been some wild shit going on and I intend to catch whatever it is. If I get famous I'll be sure to mention you too, boy," he drank half his coffee in a single chug and put his game face on.

"I've got rounds to make. I'll check on you guys in a couple hours," you said with a grin. You lingered on Aemond a moment longer. When you caught his gaze you give him a little look, letting him know you heard him and thought similairly. At least, you hoped that's what you silently communicated.

You never believed in love at first sight. But, lust at first sight? Maybe that's what burned low in your belly.

Through the single window he watched you jump into one of the ranger's newer model orange jeeps. A perfect ride for out here, he thought, distracted as you backed the wrangler out and drove away – a stark difference to his Tesla.

-

Your rounds took much longer than originally anticipated and you didn't return until nearly 5 o'clock. Thankfully, the turn of seasons was happening and it was still light outside. Pulling in to park you were surprised to see Aemond's car still in the same spot. It seemed the day was longer than anticipated all around! With the assistance of your visor mirror you took your hair down and ran your fingers through it, glad to finally let it fall free after a day's work. Joey was still here too, and you wanted to at least say bye to him before leaving for the night. You hopped out and started making your way in that direction.

"I'm right here, don't let me startle you," the unfamiliar voice of Aemond called from the tree line. Thank God he said something because he would have startled you out there.

You let out a half strangled laugh. "Thanks for the heads up. But, what are you doing?" You asked, curious steps walking in his direction. He was on a ladder about halfway up a tree. Each time he reached up the hem of his shirt lifted to flash a peek of the pale skin of his lean abdomen and slender hips. Damnit. He must have ditched his sweater sometime ago for he only wore his plain white t-shirt now.

"Just finishing getting the cameras up. Twenty-four in total across the nearest five miles or so," he replied with a final click. "There." Despite the chilly temperature sweat still glistened on his face and neck. He tipped his head down and rolled his bicep up at the same time, using the arm of his tee to wipe his brow. As he came down the ladder you saw his ponytail was replaced by a sloppy bun instead. Loose strands stuck to the dampness of his skin, and some of the more wispy fly-aways stuck out at varying directions. If you thought him handsome before, he, somehow, was even more so now.

"Joey made you do that all by yourself!?" Five miles of carrying ladders and equipment? You wanted to smack your boss.

He shook his head as he landed on both feet, momentarily breathless. "No. We've been together until just, oh, maybe fifteen minutes ago. Wife called him," he gestured to the lodge.

"Oh. Good! I was gonna kick his ass." Secondhand tiredness crept into your bones. "I'm gonna go say bye before heading out. Need help with anything?"

He shook his head for a second time. "I don't think so. Mostly just want to get back to the hotel and shower. I feel disgusting." Lifting up the neckline of his shirt he used it to wipe his face dry, thankful to finally be on the ground to do so without fear of falling off. "And I am starving. What's the best place to eat around here?"

Was he fishing or were you wishing? "There's a really good sandwich place just as you're getting into town. That's where I'm stopping to get dinner anyway," you smiled, belly rumbling loudly in answer.

He sighed contentedly at the idea. "I'll be hitting it up, thanks. If I didn't have to stay and finish a few things I'd ask to meet you there, but...," he paused, eyeing your reaction. You didn't say anything, yet he must have caught the excited glimmer in your eyes. "Maybe next time."

You smiled and unintentionally fluffed your hair up from the roots, hip propped out with your casual stance. "Sounds fun. Good night, Aemond. Drive safe," you said before turning and walking with a little too much purpose to the lodge, gravel crunching beneath your heavy work boots.

"Hey, Y/N," he called after you after a moment, long strides closing the distance between you. When you stopped and let him catch up, he asked, "can I get your number? So I can warn you when I'm here tomorrow. You looked a little scared this morning. Don't wanna do that again." His features remained neutral. His eyes (eye? that one seemed almost completely unresponsive and you weren't sure if it was even real), however, sparked with a mischief that sent your stomach flipping. Obviously you barely knew the guy, but you swore his voice dropped a little lower with the new closeness.

You exhaled. "I was that obvious? Dang. I was hoping I played it off more cool," you tsked yourself beneath your breath, pulling your phone from its pocket. He did the same and you both swiped them open to exchange numbers. His thumb tapped a few times on the screen and your phone dinged. 'Aemond' appeared at the top and a single dragon emoji was the only thing his text read. Despite yourself, you smirked.

"See you in the morning, ranger girl."

-

The next morning you found yourself fixing another fire and pot of coffee, peacefully idle and waiting for the others to arrive. Your phone chimed. It was a message and photo from Aemond.

Hope you're hungry. The girls at your fave sandwich place knew your order. On my way now.

Attached was a photo of a paper food bag seat belted into his passenger seat. Something more than excitement rose in your belly and you actually giggled. Handsome and sweet? No way he was single.

Fifteen minutes later he arrived with a soft knock. "You didn't have to get me breakfast. Way too kind of you, honestly."

He squinted and smirked softly. "Good morning to you as well." He stepped inside and closed the door behind, happy to be where it was warm. "It really wasn't a bother. Gives me an excuse to spend a little more time with you," he winked.

"Were your ears tingling last night? I only thought about texting you fifty times, at least," you admitted, flirting back.

"Should have. Hotels by yourself are terribly boring."

You two ate fully loaded breakfast sandwiches and you were more than a little surprised he ate all of his. Those things were huge! Before any time at all passed, it was already noon and you and Aemond had chatted the morning away in the security room. Everything seemed to be working well. He'd done a fantastic job at setting the cameras up yesterday and Joey beamed in excitement.

"I need to do my rounds before I don't. Catch you both later," you said reluctantly.

Just as you were stepping out of the room, Aemond called after you, "hey Y/N! Before you go..." His face spelled mischief. You arched a brow at him, waiting. "About Lord of the Rings and Frodo's journey...," – your conversation a few tangents ago – "why didn't Gandalf just call the eagles for them to fly to Mordor? Seems like that would have been a lot faster and smarter."

You were dumbfounded. "Excuse me?" You asked, fluttering a series of blasphemous blinks at him. "Seriously Aemond? And here I thought we were vibing. We're not friends anymore." You slammed the door but not before flipping him off. With both middle fingers. In the hallway you snorted and laughed in disbelief.

The door did little to block Aemond and Joey's uproar of laughter.

Handsome, sweet, and a jerk in good humor? How dare him!

-

The next day you didn't hear from Aemond, and you weren't going to lie to yourself: it kind of sucked. Despite knowing him for so brief a time, you missed him!

Thankfully, it was time for your weekend though. It was full dark by now and you were worn out from the week. You quickly changed into pajamas and flopped on your bed to find something to watch. Settling on reruns of one of your favorite shows, you found yourself staring at the black screen of your phone. Should you text him? As if your thoughts had traveled miles away right into Aemond's brain, it chimed with his message.

Hey ranger girl. I wanted to swing by the lodge today but wasn't able to. I'm in town for a few more days and was wondering if I could take you out to dinner before I go?

Holy shit holy shit holy shit. You texted back embarrassingly fast.

Only if you swear to never talk bad about LotR again.

Pinky promise. Tonight?

You looked down at yourself and snorted.

Definitely not, sorry. Tomorrow?

Yes. God I can't wait to see you out of that dorky uniform.

You had nothing appropriate to say and left him on read, lest you say something humiliating you'd regret.

-

The following evening was a clear cool night and you were glad you wore pants instead of a dress, and a leather jacket instead of a cardigan. Part of you was sad to leave the toasty confines of your 4-Runner, but it quickly dissolved once you saw Aemond standing outside the bar and grill restaurant talking to someone on his phone. He wore an elevated version of the outfit you originally met him in. What caught you off-guard, however, was his hair. Those long silvery-white tresses were pulled back into an intricate braid and you couldn't help but gawk. He looked devastatingly handsome. You saw him notice you, and butterflies turned in your belly at the heat and weight of his gaze.

"A leather jack and red lipstick? How did you know that was my favorite?" he asked as you hopped up next to him, twirling playfully for his attention. "Shit, you're lovely. I'm so glad you said yes to this."

You smiled at him, pretty white teeth beaming as you tired to reel your excitement in. "So are you. I'm going to have to sit on your lap so no other girls think you're free for the taking," you half cooed, black lashes giving your eyes an opened appearance that only elevated your playfulness.

He hummed and gave you a long look, tilting his head in direction of the entrance. "You'll get no argument." He reached out and you took his hand, suddenly bashful as his long fingers laced between yours. His palm was very warm; thoughts and images filled your mind of those hands all across your bare skin. The natural bow of his mouth lifted in a little smirk.

The restaurant was fairly busy tonight: you were lucky to snag a booth by the window. You both ordered a drink and agreed to skip the appetizer to instead indulge on something from their dessert menu. Him, an old fashioned bourbon, and you, a gin with pomegranate liqueur and lemon juice. Conversation flowed easily while you waited, the ambiance of the restaurant absorbing both of you in with ease.

With the help of a little liquid courage, you found yourself asking a question that'd been on your mind since first meeting. "I gotta ask," you started, looking over the scarred half of his face curiously. "What happened?" You gestured over your own face letting him know what you meant.

He briefly bit at his bottom lip. "Childhood accident," he answered with a sigh. "It was pretty brutal, actually," he added with a dry half-laugh. "One of my nephews got me with a knife. We were wild boys. Them moreso than me, but still, wild like boys can get. I ended up loosing my right eye and opted to get a prosthetic one instead of having an empty socket."

You gasped, truly in shock, and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. "Oh my God, Aemond. That's horrible."

He wasn't hot or sweaty, but your skin was delightfully cooler than his and he got more comfort out of it than you realized. "It was. The scar actually looks much better now than in the past. I've learned to live with it well enough. Driving is sometimes a struggle because of it, though. That was a big learning curve."

The waiter came back for your food order. Aemond chose the pork tenderloin with apricot almond chutney, herb roasted potatoes, and broccoli, and you chose the crusted ahi with cucumber, bell pepper, and red onion salad topped with a ginger soy vinaigrette – with no onion. Red onions, raw or cooked, destroyed your palette.

Both of your drinks were nearly gone by then; you couldn't speak for Aemond, but you were definitely feeling looser. Not drunk by any means, but a warm buzz that blushed your cheeks, hooded your eyes, and made your smile all the easier. "So, Aemond Targaryen of Dragon Security, what else do you do in and outside of your work?"

"You looking like that across from me is making focus very difficult," he replied, idly trailing the tip of his finger around the rim of his glass. He leaned back and flashed you a little smirk, the lovely color of his eye seeming to shrink. "It's a family business. We make high quality security cameras. My brother's invention, the Sunfyre system, specializes in daytime monitoring, and my sister's invention, the Dreamfyre system, specializes in nighttime monitoring." He sipped at his drink, wetting his lips with the smooth, fragrant liquor. "And mine, the Vhagar system, takes and elevates both. The beefest and strongest system by far. So, whatever your boss wants to find in those woods, he'll have the absolute best chance with what I set up for him."

You listened, genuinely interested, and did your very best to focus on his words and not the he sat across from you. "Honestly that's an entirely different world than anything I know," you shook your head amusedly. "Gross rich people stuff."

You continued talking about it until your meal came. It looked and smelled divine. "I'll check on you again shortly," the waiter said with a wide handsome smile.

Sticking out like a sore thumb was a pile of red onions atop your salad. All it took was a single glance between you and Aemond for him to know you wouldn't mention anything about it to the waiter – instead choosing to pluck them off your plate and try to enjoy your dinner regardless.

He wasn't about to let that happen. "She asked for no onions," Aemond said flatly up to the other man, one of his pale brows arching up in silent judgment.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me have them remake it for you," the waiter said apologetically, disappearing with the plate quicker than you could say it's okay.

You wanted to sink down into the booth and disappear. Before you could stop giggling, and before Aemond could wipe the smug expression off his face, your new plate arrived. As well as a refill of your drinks.

"Her entree and both beverages are on the house tonight," the waiter said brightly as he placed everything down. You reached for the drink and sipped appreciatively.

"Just a refill for the lady, thank you. I'm driving," Aemond said with a hint of that same expression as before. That worked for the waiter and he was off again, busy with other tables. "Hey," he muttered to you, lower and softer than you've heard him before. He scooted closer to the window and patted the spot next to him. "Come sit by me, pretty girl."

An excited blush crept into your cheeks as you did so, and you leaned your knee against his beneath the table. His free arm draped across the back of the booth, engulfing you with the warmness of himself. You both ate and chatted, and you found out he travels far and wide. "French is my favorite language," you admitted blissfully. "So lovely to listen to. I can't speak it for the life of me, but listening to it?" You made an approving gesture with your hand.

"I don't quite have the accent down, but I'm fairly fluent in it...," he said, low and husky, as he tipped his head closer to yours. He whispered by your ear, and his breath fanning across your skin tickling your spine. "Je veux parler français entre tes cuisses."

A satisfied sigh escaped your lungs. You reveled in the way the natural rasp of his voice sounded with the language. "What did you say?"

"I want to speak french between your thighs."

A breath caught in your throat and you nearly choked on it. "Shut the fuck up. You did not just say that," you sputtered, immediately turning your head to meet his gaze.

He chuckled, palm trailing across your thigh beneath the table. "I did say that. And I do mean it."

"Aemond Targaryen...," you whispered in return, looking him square in the eye. You were pleasantly buzzed and the courage it gave you prompted your next movements. "Let's say we get out of here and you can show me that boring hotel room of yours." With a tilt of your head you slowly pressed your mouth to his, kissing him with the fire that began building in your core.

He hummed into the kiss and deepened the affection, holding the side of your neck with a need of his own. Pulling away, he quickly laid more than enough cash on the table, not bothering to wait for the tab.

The smear of your lipstick matched the faint stain of it on his own lips as he lead you out of the restaurant.

-

In the room, Aemond closed the door with a deliberate click and wasted little time in pushing you up against the nearest wall; your arms draped over his shoulders all the while, lips barely leaving each other. "You have no idea how bad I've wanted to do this since I first saw you at the lodge," he rasped against your mouth, kissing down your chin and throat with sloppy need. His hands were somehow all over you at once: waist, hips, ass, throat, everywhere.

You gasped, arching between him and the wall, shuddering in anticipation and excitement alike. "You should have," you murmured in reply, hands tugging off his jacket in near desperation. "I almost had a heart attack when I saw your hair in that stupid bun. I should have taken your clothes off to help you cool down right then and there," you teased in response.

A groan came from the back of his throat. "Je suis peut-être tombé amoureux," I might have fallen in love he rumbled with a smirk. You didn't know what he said but you also didn't care, because next thing you knew his teeth sunk into the slope of your neck and shoulder and you moaned. "Like being bitten?" He asked, doing it again in a slightly different spot.

"Yeah," you managed to gasp out, turning your head to entice him along. His laugh vibrated against your neck as he sucked the sensitive skin between his teeth, aiming to leave a mark. "Hey!" You gasped, giggling.

"Not gonna let you forget this, pretty girl." He tore your jacket off and threw it near his, already gripping the hem of your shirt. "Plan to make you feel it tomorrow," he added smugly, lifting your shirt off and tossing it aside. You wore one of your fun bras, lace and straps accenting the curve of your bust. "Oh, fuck, look at these beautiful tits," he groaned again, immediately bending to kiss and lick over your bare cleavage.

"You're a big talker. Are you sure you can follow through with all of that?" You questioned as if your skin wasn't already goosebumped, nipples weren't already pebbled with need, and the apex of your thighs wasn't already hot with the primal desire to be fucked and stuffed full.

He growled with your challenge, single eye looking down at you darkly. "That's the plan." In three motions he wrapped an arm around your waist, turned with you flush to him, and stepped to push you onto the bed. You landed heavily, thighs clenching as you watched him discard his shirt. He was long and lean like a swimmer, with a pale patch of hair at the center of his chest and trailing below his navel to disappear beneath his pants. A new wave of warmth pooled between your thighs and your pants felt much too tight.

"Stronger than you look too, Targaryen," you taunted, squeezing your thighs together. You looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes. Lust burned through your blood and you couldn't help the heave of your breasts.

Both his hands moved to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants to ease some of the pressure on his obvious arousal. He made no move to do anything else. "You're a big talker too." Kneeling at the edge of the bed he pulled you further down the mattress, calculating and amused. You helped him help you out of your pants, hips squirming so he could pull them down your legs. Carefully, he parted your legs and laughed a deep mocking sound. "I haven't even touched you and you're wet through your panties. So needy," he crooned, thumb barely grazing down the line of your covered slit.

You shivered, unaware and unable to bite back a whimper. "Aemond...," you gasped, the shocks his touch gave you sparking yet even more heat to pool inside you.

"And sensitive," he purred, watching your face as he continued to slowly trace along you; heavy eyed and smeared lipstick made you look all the more adorable. "Si amusant à manger. Embrasser. Lécher." So fun to eat. To kiss. To lick. He kissed the inside of your thighs in punctuation, the sounds of them sending embers up your spine. Wide hands trailed up and down your legs, over your belly, across your hips. He kissed your covered mound until the full length of your legs tightened.

"Take 'em off... move 'em to the side. Something," you panted, eyes already threatening to unfocus with the tantalizing teasing.

He had nothing to say, his mind just as clouded with lust as your own. Tugging the damp center of your panties to the side, he licked a long line up through your soaked, silky folds, groaning a hitched sound from the center of his throat.

You rolled up against him while your hands flew down to his head, fingers sinking through the smoothness of his intricate braid. Pleasure left your parted mouth.

A little moan of his own answered yours. Lick, suck, kiss. Over and over again with varying speeds and pressure, pulling more of those lovely sounds from your pretty mouth. The combination was nearly obscene; wet, lewd, eager. He carelessly pulled your panties full off and discarded them.

"Oh my God...," you drawled, gripping into his hair as he continued his delightful assault on every part of your pussy. Sucking your clit, sinking his tongue inside your saturated walls, licking over everything as if his own orgasm depended on it.

Stopping for only a moment, he reached up to the front of your bra and pulled the cups down to send your breasts spilling free. He palmed over them roughly, squeezing the soft flesh until you hissed between your teeth, body arching for his mouth's attention once more. He pinched at your nipples as his head dipped down again, hot tongue and handsome lips going right back to work.

"Yes... please, fuck! I'm so close!" Your core burned and tightened, and you were past caring if anyone in the neighboring rooms heard you.

"That's right... be a good girl and come so I can really fuck you," he hummed, delving right back in until you were trembling beneath him.

The intensity of your climax left your fingers tingling and toes curling as your thighs squeezed around his head. You were sure you'd rip some of his hair out, but the near desperate groan that left his throat told you he fucking loved it. He eased his actions on you but never truly stopped, increasing and lengthening the waves of your pleasure as you rode them out.

Once you were done, basking in the afterglow of your orgasm, he finally stood and joined you on the bed. "Open the front pocket of my bag right there. Yeah, that one. Grab the condom for me," he said as he kissed over your jaw and neck, beginning to shift out of his own pants.

"I have an IUD. We're not using that bullshit," you replied cheekily, helping him out of his pants. He kicked them off and his briefs followed, and you instantly saw why he made sure you came first. Not only did he have a beautiful cock, but it was big.

"Fuck, babe, you're gonna let me come in your pretty pussy?" He asked, gripping your body to roll you onto your belly.

You moved with his prompts and nodded. "Yeah," you said and looked up at him from over your shoulder, shifting your legs to prop your ass up. It accentuated the natural curve of your spine and that sight alone would have gotten him hard.

With one hand he held onto the soft meat of your hip while the other held himself, lining up with your hot little cunt that was on full display for him. He inched in, drawing back once half of him had sunk into you, only to plunge into you all at once. "Shit...," he hissed, grip denting harshly into your flesh.

You fisted the sheets, whimpering at the absolute fullness of his cock buried in you. While nestled in you, he unclasped the back of your bra and helped you out of it, briefly lingering on the faint lines it left on your skin; an odd sort of intimacy making him appreciate the sight. "Take me," you whispered, breathless, belly slowly building up with a new coil of bliss.

Pulling his hips back, he snapped them forward against you. "Taking me so well, pretty girl," he praised. Using both hands, now, he propped you up into a better position, steadily rocking into you as he did so. The sounds that poured from your mouth were a mix of elation and lust, desire taking hold of all your senses as your body yielded to his intrusion. The way he slid in and out of you, the way your tight walls gripped around him, and the way the muffled whines that came from you each time he rammed into your deepest parts made him half insane. "Getting sooo messy, baby," his words were accented by his pelvis slamming against your upturned ass; sticky, squelching, skin on skin.

You were embarrassingly close again, eyes rolled closed. "Feels so good," you cooed from beneath, mind fully drunk on him.

"Yeah? Gonna fuck your pretty face into the mattress. Can't have you so loud that someone comes knocking," he said as he fisted into your hair, turning your head into the blankets and pillows that smelled like him. His pace grew faster, sloppier, and you knew he had to be close too. That deep sensitive spot inside you was being absolutely bullied; cockhead slammed against and past it, meeting your deepest wall, only to drag backwards along it, over and over.

"Aemond!" The mattress muffled your cry of pleasure and your second peak left you numb and weightless, mind totally blank save for the man who drove you there.

With a final push he drove into you with a guttural groan. The full length of him twitched inside your pulsating walls, coating your insides with his release. An obscene mixture of your creamy arousal and his seed oozed out from around him to dribble onto the bed. You both laughed in the aftershocks, static buzzing your brain as the lewd, heady scents of sex filled the air around you.

"Fuck, that felt good," he rasped, slowly pulling out of you and watching his cum leak from your core. "I'll get us a towel in a minute. I just need to catch my breath," he added with a lazy, glorious smile, laying flat on his back with momentary exhaustion.

You laid on your belly beside him, taking in the angles of his face and how they softened in his post-sex bliss. "No. Not yet. I'm not finished with you yet," you said slyly, pushing yourself up to flip a leg over his middle. You bent and kissed him, pushing your fingers through the damp hair from his hairline to his crown, braid no longer neat. Already half hard again, it didn't take long for him to catch his breath beneath you; fiery and refueled from your display of sensuality.

"What about you car?" He asked, biting the top of your shoulder.

"What about it? We can get it in the morning. I wanna ride this big cock."

There very well might have been some noise complaints from his room that night. Neither of you cared. Once you were both finally satisfied to the point of silliness, sleep came easy. When the morning came and he drove you back to the restaurant? You were mesmerized at how his features glowed golden with the cloudless sun.

"A 4-Runner? Lots more room in there than mine...," he teased and gave you a questioning look, testing the waters.

You hummed thoughtfully, returning his look. "Well, yeah. But, might need to put it to the test. Just to, you know, see which one is better."

-

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider a follow and reblog as I have plans to create and share more writings ♥

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[justmeinadaze]

You Should Be Sad (Steddie X You)

Part 1 Without Me

A/N: ENTER WITH CAUTION! Like my previous chapter THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL! Its angsty and dealing with dark themes of addiction. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO SKIP THIS STORY!

Warnings: Toxic Steddie and reader! Even though in the bulk of this story they are on a healing journey a lot of their toxic behavior is discussed and expanded upon. ANGST, They are sober but they still haven't truly faced all of their demons. Eddie is a former drug addict and Steve is a former alcoholic. Their previous behavior is discussed and expanded upon including verbal abuse, Eddie ODing, and smacking the reader (its just the one time but it shakes them both).

Eddie does go visit his dad in jail and of course his dad is an asshole. Eddie talks about his trauma and what his mom went through. Steve does the same when it comes to his dad and how he made him feel.

Reader talks about her healing and how they were like her drug. She talks in detail about how they made her feel especially when Eddie ODed.

I think that's all the angst. Again DARK THEMES ARE EXPLORED HEAVILY! If that makes you uncomfortable I understand if you choose not to read!

SMUT, not rough in anyway, there's still love between them and they are much gentler with her here then in the last chapter. FLUFF, I did create a happy ending. I think they deserve that <3. Not all situations like this end badly.

Word Count: 11,371

 1991

“I, um, called her mom and she said she may be coming in but I don’t know.”, Steve sighed as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

“And if she doesn’t that’s alright. You’ve been doing really well, Steven. Compared to where you were three years ago after Y/N left.” The man grimly smiled towards the group counselor.

He hated thinking about that time in his life. After you three graduated school, they convinced you to move into an apartment with them. Being completely away from prying eyes didn’t make things any better. Steve drank more excessively and Eddie continued to snort heavy amounts of his drug. Their toxic behavior amplified and every day they watched your personality that they fell in love slowly fade. 

 Three years ago, you finally had enough. You didn’t notify them in any way or even go back to the apartment to pack a bag. You just got in your car and ran from Hawkins. 

Losing you shook them to their core. A week after you disappeared, Steve went to the station and told Hopper about the accident he had caused senior year that got you hurt. They charged him for the DUI and fleeing the scene but instead of any prison time the chief got him into a rehab program. After six months of in-patient treatment, he was released for continued out-patient rehab therapy. He had been sober ever since but every day was hard. Due to his record no one wanted to hire him even though he was a Harrington so he ended up having to work at his dad’s firm. 

With everything that happened, his dad became almost worse, constantly reminding him of his failures. Every time he said something condescending or Steve had that strong urge to drink, he would look at the photo he had of you three on his desk and remind himself why he was trying to be better. 

***

His uncle watched Eddie with cautious eyes as he took an obnoxiously big bite of the burger in front of him. 

“Wayne, if you stare at me any harder you’re going to burn a hole through my brain.”

The man laughs as he takes a sip from his glass of water. He knew his nephew was allowed to drink but chose not to for his roommate’s sake. Wayne didn’t want to make that choice any harder than he was sure it was so whenever he spent the afternoon with him he would drink anything but.

“How’s therapy goin’?”

“It’s, uh, it’s going.”, Eddie sighs. “We’ve been talking a lot about Allen lately. She…she thinks I should go to the prison and confront him. Face my fears so to speak. I told her I’m not afraid of him—” His uncle’s scoff cut him off. “What? I’m not.”

“Ed…you went through a lot as a kid. I don’t know how much you remember but—”

“I remember all of it.”

“Ok, I’m just saying, when someone goes through what you went through at such a young age…it’s ok to still…be afraid.” Eddie glares down at his plate as his uncle continues. “You’re not like him, son. Yeah, you fucked up but you’re trying. My brother gave up way before he ever went in.”

The boy’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep his emotions in check. 

“I hurt her, Wayne. That night I… I was out of control. You should have seen the way she looked me…after I…It was how mom looked him.”

***

You stared at the Hawkins road sign from your parked car as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You had been gone for three years and when you originally left you told yourself you were never coming back. The night you ran was the beginning of your own personal rehab purging you of them. You desperately needed to get away from their toxicity after what happened. 

About a year after you left, you received a call from a doctor at a rehab center a few hours outside of Hawkins asking if you would be willing to come be a part of Steve’s 12 step rehabilitation program. He needed to make amends and so far only Eddie and his mom participated. You declined at the time feeling there was no point. Steve was never consistent when it came to being sober. 

Every year you got a call but this year you were surprised when your mom asked you to take part as well. 

“Steve talked about your accident and apologized for his behavior. Y/N, he seemed so sincere. I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable coming back but it really did help me hearing him apologize especially after he’s continued to be sober. Maybe it can be a bit healing for you to.”

Eddie’s uncle kept your mom updated on his progress but amends were a lot harder for him. It wasn’t just that he was afraid to face that guilt but he felt like he still wasn’t strong enough to handle that emotion. 

You spent the last three years on a type of spiritual journey; traveling the world and having experiences of your own that didn’t include Eddie and Steve. You made a lot of new friends and got into a healthy relationship or two. You were living in the moment and for once you were extremely happy…well…happier.

Even you knew at some point you would have to come back here to Hawkins. Not just to see your family but to face the memories and everything you had been through. You needed to heal and if facing them in this controlled setting would do that then so be it.

###########

“Eddie, it’s ok.”, the counselor soothed as he watched the metalhead’s leg bounce anxiously. 

“Yeah, no. I’m just a little nervous. Is-Is she really coming?”

On cue, there’s a tiny knock on the man’s office door as the receptionist slowly opened it to tell him you were here. The boys watched as he poked his head through and said a few words to you before leading you into the room.

It took every fiber of their being not to get up and run to you, lift you in their arms, and kiss your lips. It had been three years and you were even more beautiful than they remembered. Your hair was a bit shorter and wherever you had been you were obviously constantly being kissed by the sun. You had gained a bit of weight which was good because when you were with them you barely ever ate anything since you were always in a constant state of panic worrying about them. What they wouldn’t give to see you smile again. 

Your arms remained hugged around your chest as the person in charge guided you to a seat across of them. They both looked different and, to be honest, unrecognizable to you sober. They carried a different air that made you wonder had you run into them anywhere else would you have even recognized them? Eddie still had his long hair and clean face but his eyes had more of a hollow ring around them as if he hadn’t slept in three years. Instead of the heavy metal garb you expected him to be in, he was wearing clothes that resembled his uncle’s style down to the beige colored boots. 

Steve looked like a younger version of his father and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t hurt you for him. He was wearing a suit with the sleeves rolled to his elbows as the jacket rested on the arm rest behind him. His beautiful brown hair was now wild as if he didn’t have the energy to style it anymore. Even the slight facial hair that dusted his upper lip and along his jaw line screamed that he was too exhausted to put in that extra effort. 

“Y/N, I just want to start this by saying this is a safe space, okay? You can say anything you want and there is no judgement. Usually, we do this one at a time but I thought it might be easier for you to do this with them both here.”

“You cleared it with her first right? You told her we both would be here?”

The doctor glanced over at Steve sympathetically. “Yes, I did. I wouldn’t have pushed her if she felt unsafe to be in a room with you both.”

“I do feel unsafe.” All eyes turned to you. “I…I still feel like this isn’t real. That you two are going to leave this place and go back to your apartment to do what you do best.”

“That’s fair.”, Eddie nodded as his gaze shifted towards the floor. “We had always tried to get clean but could never succeed.”

“Pfft, tried.”, you scoffed angrily as your arms hugged your body tighter.

“Go ahead, Y/N. Get it all out here. They can’t make amends if they don’t hear everything.”

“See, that’s the thing, sir. They did hear everything. I said it over and over again since high school but they ignored me and focused on themselves. It’s kind of ironic to be in a relationship with two men yet still feel lonely and unheard!”

Silence falls heavily over everyone and after a few moments the counselor clears his throat. “Steven, why don’t you go ahead?”

“I, uh, don’t know if your parents told you but I came clean about the accident. I took accountability, Y/N, like you had always wanted me to and I am so…so sorry I didn’t do that sooner. I almost killed you and…I don’t know why that wasn’t enough of a wakeup call for me but I’m still learning. I’m still…fuck…I’m sorry, Y/N. I know no amount of apologizing will make up for that or how I treated you but I think about you every day. Every day I wake and I fight to be a better man. It’s so fucking hard but—”

He pauses when he notices you staring out the window trying to control the tears that had begun to fall, turning towards the man in charge helplessly.

“What’s running through your mind, Y/N?” You shake your head but he continues to try and urge you to speak. 

“I’m just wondering…why wasn’t I enough?”

“Honey—”

“No. NO. Don’t you fucking dare, Steve Harrington.” Angerly you wipe your eyes as you turn your body to fully face him. “Waking up every day is hard for you? Good. Now you know what it was like for me for all those years. I woke everyday knowing you were going to be drunk or Eddie was going to be high. The fun part was the gamble of which men I was going to get that day. The doting boyfriends or the abusive dickheads.” 

Eddie flinched at your last sentence making you sarcastically laugh. 

“And I notice you’re still really fucking quiet over there. You may hate hearing it, Ed, but it’s true. I’ve told you before and looking at you two now I see it more than ever. You are both exactly like your fathers!” 

“I’m sorry.”, the metalhead whispered. 

“For what, Eddie?! This is amends right? Make them!”

The doctor heard Steve sigh as his head turned from you both. “Steven, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

“No, not nothing. Use the feelings chart if you need to.” 

You and Eddie roll your eyes at the same time.

“Jesus Christ, I’m angry.”

“At who? At Y/N?”

You see the answer in his face and it throws you off guard as you wait for him to explain. 

“He’s angry with me.”, Eddie heavily growls under his breath.

“Why is that?”

“Take your pick.”, the metalhead responds for him. “We got drunk and high together. I never tried to stop him nor did I ever stop him from cheating on Y/N which was hypocritical because I accused her of cheating on us all the time. I’m the one that convinced him to leave her at the accident and I’m the reason…”

“Oh, don’t stop now, Munson. You’re on a roll.”, Steve sassed.

“You’re as much to blame for her leaving as I am.”

The boy turned on his friend rising to his feet as Eddie did the same. 

“You’re the one that ODed on our floor!”

“And you’re the one that was so drunk you passed out on the couch and didn’t even wake up till after the ambulance was long gone!”

“You’re the one that fucking HIT HER!”

The room went quiet again as what they both were saying hung in the air. 

“Can we stop for the day, please?” Your small voice slices the tension in half as the counselor nods and stands to take your hand so he can lead you out. 

Eddie doesn’t say a word as he gathers his things and flies past everyone out the door towards his van before skidding away. 

“He is doing a lot better. They both are but Edward seems to struggle more when it comes to facing that part of his trauma.”

“He never wanted to be like his dad. That was one of his biggest fears.”, you sigh.

“Thank you for coming by. I would like to try this again with them and you. Whenever you’re ready of course.”

############

You sip your coffee as you sit in the booth at the diner a few blocks from your house. You had so much trouble falling asleep as all the anxieties of seeing them and being back here hit you like a ton of bricks. After what happened today, you weren’t sure if you could do another session with them but you were surprised by how it unfolded. You had so many questions about the past but new revelations gave you new things you wanted to ask. Had Steve always blamed Eddie for the things that happened? Did Eddie blame himself? They both seemed more agitated and angrier then when they weren’t sober. Why? Was it because you left or were there things they hadn’t faced yet?

“Hey Sally. Can I have some coffee please?” As you looked up from your beverage your eyes locked with Steve’s weary ones. “Hey, um, I’m just getting some caffeine and then I’ll be gone so…”

“Couldn’t sleep either?”, you asked causing him to exhale a breathy chuckle.

“Um, kind of. Eddie didn’t come home so I’ve been looking for him. Sometimes when he’s stressed he hides and smokes like a carton of cigarettes before heading to work the next morning. I still haven’t found out where he goes.”

“You two don’t go to the pool anymore?” He shook his head before thanking the waitress as she hands him his to go cup. “I may know where he is. I found him there once when his dad sent him a letter from jail. I…I can show you.”

“Oh, hon- Y/N, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

After sliding out of the booth, you threw some money on the table and sauntered past him as you walked out the front door. 

“If anything, I’m more comfortable doing this than the group therapy bullshit.”

***

Steve sighed when his friend’s van came into view in the driveway of an old run down home.

“How did you know he’d be here?”

“This is where he lived with his parents when he was a boy. He told me once he felt closer to his mom here.”

To the other boy’s surprise, the front door wasn’t locked as you swung it open with no problem. 

“Hey! Get the fu—fuck me. Hey, Y/N. What are you both doing here?” Eddie had quickly risen from the long-abandoned couch when you two had come in.

“I’ve been looking for you for a while, Ed. She volunteered to show me where you might be.”

“Why?” You don’t say anything as your eyes scan him over. “Well, I’m here. I’m safe. I’m fucking sober.” He flashes you both his vest pockets before turning in a circle to show you everything else. “So, you can go back home.”

“Why are you so angry?” Your tone was anything but subtle and slightly loaded with contempt as he tilted his head at your question. “You both seem more on edge now than before I left but especially you Eddie. Why?”

His face flashes through multiple emotions before finally deciding to be honest instead of shutting down. 

“I feel the same way he does. It’s my fault that everything happened. It’s my fault…you left. I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I don’t know about that.”, you grumble as you cross your arms. “I think you should feel bad about our time together… you and Steve. I think you deserve to be happy but you have to feel what I went through first before you can and it seems like at this moment that frightens you both but especially you.”

“Y/N, look at me! Him and I have fucking crawled our way to sobriety. Steve confessed to the accident and I talked to my uncle like you wanted. We both went to rehab and talked about our feelings and shit. We suffer every fucking day to be better! I mean…”

“I wanted accountability, Eddie. I’m proud of you two for how far you’ve come and owning up to your mistakes. I really am but you both are still avoiding the reason you turned to your vices; the reason you treated me like garbage. I carried your burdens for you for almost 7 years. It’s time for you to face them and move forward. Be happy.”

“Are you happy?”, Steve asks from behind you.

“I’m happier than I was… I still struggle with my self image and identity without you two.” 

“I’m sorry I don’t understand. We always thought you were way stronger than we ever were. That you had your own powerful identity.”

“Which is why we always thought at some point you would realize you were too good for us or…or someone else would see that and take you away.”, Eddie sighed, disappointed in himself. 

“I almost died but still stayed yet Eddie almost died and that was enough for me to run.”, you shrug as your voice cracks. “You two were my everything. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you. You were my vice.”

###########

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

“Jesus, Eddie. I was with my mom and I told you both that!”

“Really? You were with your mom until 10pm?!”

“YES! What do I have to do to prove to you, Eddie Munson, that I don’t want anyone else!!”

The metalhead rolled his eyes as he took a seat at the table and snorted the powder he had separated on top of it. 

“Maybe, if you followed through and stop doing this bullshit you’d actually fucking hear me.”

“Watch your mouth, Y/N or I swear to God—”, he warned as he stood up again. 

“You’ll what? Inhale another line and call me a whore?”

“Stop being a whore and I won’t call you one.”

You sarcastically laughed in his face. “Well gee Ed. I need someone to satisfy me since you or your drunken partner in crime can barely seem to get it up anymore!”

Your eyes snapped open as his ringed hand flew across your face, panting as you tried to catch your breath. It had been a while since you had that dream but you thought about that night often; the night he crossed that line. You could still feel the sting of the metal against your skin but what always stuck with you was Eddie’s face after. He regretted it immediately; not even the drugs could block out that. 

You had turned and left without saying a word, crying in your car as you drove around Hawkins trying to clear your head. What always stuck with you in your journey to healing was that at the time even that wasn’t enough for you to leave. Yes, you left the apartment but you had every intention of coming back. Hell, you did! That’s when things really got worse. 

A sudden knock on your bedroom door startled you but what startled you even more was who was on the other side after you granted them entry. 

“Hey, um, I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything.”, Eddie grumbled as he stepped inside.

“No, no you didn’t.”

An awkward silence hung in the air as his eyes swiveled around the room. Memories clung to everything and the bad ones pierced his heart. 

“Look, uh, I know I don’t have any right to ask you for anything but, um, my therapist has been wanting me to visit the prison to see my father because she thinks it will help me. I don’t see how but… I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night…about accountability and facing my burdens…”

“Why are you telling me this, Ed?”

A heavy exhale escapes his lips as he runs his fingers frustratingly through his hair. 

“Will you come with me to see him?” Eddie’s eyes find yours and you see something within them that you’ve seen a million times before but as he speaks again you realize this is the first time he’s acknowledging it. “I’m scared, Y/N. I don’t think…I don’t know if I can do this alone…”

Sighing yourself, you nod and he smiles before leaving you alone so you can change. 

***

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”, you ask as you both wait at the police station booth for them to bring out his father.

“I honestly can’t remember. I want to say since he went in but I know Wayne visited him a lot and I may have gone with him a time or two.” His knee anxiously jumps as he lights another cigarette, flicking the excess ash into the tray in front of him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

As you flash him a small smile, the door on the other side of the glass bangs open as they bring out his father and place him in front of you both. 

“Edward! Good to see you, kid. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were like six or seven!”

“No, that’s not right. Mom would have been alive and you went in a year after she died when I was ten.”

“Oh. Well shit. You were always small for your age.”, his father dismisses him as he lights his own cigarette.

You had never seen or met Eddie’s dad but seeing him now was giving you some insight into why the metalhead was the way he was. Eddie was about ten years old when you first met him and Steve. He was always really quiet at first and if his father was the same way then as he was being now, then you understood why. 

“So, how can I help you today, son? I assume you’re here because you need something. A new hook up maybe? Rumors around town say there was a few times you and that Harrington kid almost ended up sharing a cell with me!”, he chuckles. “Why are you hanging out with that preppy asshole anyway? Upper class like the Harringtons don’t give a shit about lower class trash like us.”

It was instinct really; a long-forgotten reflex that had been dormant for three years. You reached out to hold Eddie’s hand as his dad spewed his cruelty. The metalhead didn’t visibly react but your gesture of kindness calmed him.

“I’m not trash and I’m nothing like you.”, he growled. 

“Oh really?” His father folded his arms sarcastically as he leaned forward. “You’re like Wayne now, huh? Work at the plant, call every beautiful piece of ass sweetheart. Hell, you even dress like him now.” He snarkily laughs as he lights a new cigarette. “You can dress and act any way you want to, boy, but no matter what, my genes are still a part of you. You’ll always be…a trash Munson.”

“Half.” His father’s eyes swing towards you. “Half of a Munson but thankfully its mostly the good half. The other half is his mother. They both deserved better than you.”

Blowing smoke towards the window he scoots a little closer to your side. 

“You must be Y/N. You know… you remind me a lot of my wife. She was beautiful, kind, loyal to a fault—”

“Then why did you hurt her?”, Eddie asked.

“Why do you?”, his dad snapped. Eddie knew he meant you and it killed him. “If anything, you’re worse than me because if I had driven home drunk and almost killed your mother she would have left me right then and there!” He glances your way. “You’re weak like him…aren’t you little girl?”

It was your turn to cheekily square your shoulders as you leaned forward so close that if there wasn’t glass in the way your noses would have touched. 

“You say he’s weak but he’s not the one behind bars. He’s sober and coming from a woman who knows what a man on drugs looks like I’m surprised they haven’t figured you out yet. You call him weak but the truth is you are. That’s why you never got better or tried to stay out of jail. That’s why you hurt him and his mom. Because even when he was a kid he was more of a man than you will ever be.” 

Tugging on Eddie’s hand, you pulled him to his feet. 

“Come on. I’m not going to let him keep talking down to you.”

Without a word, he followed you out without even so much as a cursory glance towards his father. 

***

You two sat silently in the driveway of your house. The street was quiet as everyone was still either at work or school. 

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie chuckled as he looked your way. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“Eddie…even at your worst…you were nothing like him.”

His long hair whipped from side to side as he shook his head. 

“Y/N, he may have said a lot of bullshit but he was right about one thing… You were…ARE an amazing woman. Even when we were little I was always afraid that someone was going to take you away. Then as we got older and I got worse…I thought you were going to leave. Y/N, you don’t understand, I believed it so deeply that it was almost like an obsession to catch you hurting me. To prove myself right and you wrong; to villainize you so it wouldn’t hurt so fucking bad.”

His chocolate his shift towards the window as he continues. 

“Jokes on me. It still hurt like a motherfucker when I woke up in the hospital and Steve told me you were gone. Y/N, I am so fucking sorry for what happened that night. I—”

As he turned his head to face you, your lips cut him off. Hearing him talk about his feelings and you the way he was, thrust you back into your old mindset. He was hurting and he needed you. Truth be told you needed him to desperately and that was more than evident when you climbed over the middle console to straddle his lap. 

Eddie’s sober mind was screaming for him to stop, to push you off him because he didn’t want to be responsible for your pain again. But he missed you so much and how could he deny you when it appeared like you were hungry for him to make you feel better to?

Pushing up off his lap, you slid off your pants as he adjusted his seat to lean back so you wouldn’t hit your head on the ceiling. Eddie hastily pushed down his own jeans allowing his cock to spring free before spitting in his hand and stroking it along his length. 

You both groaned as you slowly descended onto him, gripping his shoulders as he took hold of your waist. No one except Steve fit perfectly inside of you like Eddie did. Even as he stretched you out, that familiar feeling of him gliding almost seamlessly through your walls till you felt your lap connect with his was almost too much. 

“Fuck, Eddie.”

He didn’t say a word as you began rolling your hips, his jaw going slack as he absorbed the feeling of you he never thought he would experience again. 

Your hands gripped his neck as you bounced roughly on top of him, his warm breath fanning your face as he panted against your lips. As his eyes locked with yours, you hoped he couldn’t see the tears that threatened to fall. Even though you were angry with them, the truth of the matter was that you still loved them. 

Even though they had hurt you all the time and made your life in the past hell, you still craved them. To you they were the lucky ones. There was a rehab and program for people with their addiction. Where do you go when your addiction is a person you love with all heart and then some? It added to your anger over the past three years and anytime you thought about them it made you furious with yourself. 

“You’re weak just like him…aren’t you little girl?”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together when he saw you shake your head and lean against his shoulder as you tried to ride him harder. There was something you were keeping from him but he didn’t dare ask. All he could do was thread his fingers through your hair as he pressed you closer to him while he thrust his hips up to meet yours.

“Everything’s ok, sweetheart.  You’re ok.”, he whispered in your ear. “Fuck—cum, baby, please.”

Pulling your head back, you placed your forehead on his own as your eyes squeezed shut and you came harder than you had in a long time. 

“God damn. C-Can I cum inside you?” Right as you gave him your permission, his hands gripped your sides, guiding your motions as he grunted and you felt him release his seed inside of you. The two of you sat still, your heavy breathing the only sound filling the tiny, enclosed space. 

All of a sudden, you felt like you couldn’t hold it in anymore as you fell against his broad chest and began to sob. Unsure of what to do, he acted on instinct, responding the way he used to after you two would fight and you would cry. 

“Sweetheart…FUCK! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” He tries to hug you but you shove him away. “Baby, please. Let me make it up to you. Let me hold you.”

As your head hung and your shoulders shook, the last of your resolve faded away and he took the opportunity to lift you in his arms, carrying you to his bed so he could cuddle you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re too good for me, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Eddie…what do I have to do…to show you that I love you both and ONLY you both?”

“Nothing, baby. I know. It’s the blow…Fuck…you deserve better. I swear, I’m never taking another hit. I hated seeing you be afraid of me…”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I think about that night every day. Every time I have a craving or…I just remember the way you looked at me after I…”

“After you what?” You tilted back to look at him as you waited for his answer. When Eddie shifted his gaze away from you, you sarcastically chuckle as you reached over to grab your pants and keys, opening the driver’s side door as you climb out. “That’s ok, Ed. You’ve had enough accountability for one day.”, you hiss as you slam it closed and stomp inside. 

###########

Steve grumbles under his breath as he asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. Eddie had come home that day in a bad mood and slammed his bedroom door before the sound of heavy metal filled his bedroom as he angrily strummed at his guitar. 

He knew he wasn’t going to be getting much sleep tonight and his dad had been on his ass about reports he was “behind” on so Steve figured he could utilize the time to go to his office to get some work done. 

As he turned to leave, he spotted your sad frame in the same booth you were in a few nights before as you sullenly stared out the window. He should have left you alone but he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach that told him to make sure you were alright. 

“Couldn’t sleep again?”

Steve expected you to be startled by him with how deep in thought you seemed to be but when you half smiled and turned to face him, he couldn’t help but tilt his head. It almost seemed like you were waiting for him; expecting him to show up. 

“Something like that. What about you?”

“Uh, same. I thought I’d go to the office a bit and utilize the energy to get some work done.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at your watch. “At 11 pm?”

“Yeah.”, he laughs. “My dad’s anger and disappointment operate outside of normal timeframes so…” Steve smiles as he raises his cup in your direction. “I’ll, um, leave you to it.”

As he turns to leave, however, he notices you nod and hug you’re your arms around your body. You always used to do that when you were trying keep yourself from falling apart. 

“Steve, seriously, you’re not going to be able to wake up for work tomorrow if you finish that bottle.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. I know my limits ok!? Get off my fucking back!”, he slurs as he heads for the couch. His eyes glance over you as your arms wrap around you. “Honey…I’m okay. Trust me.” You wince at his words. Trust me. If there were two people in the world who couldn’t be trusted, it was them. 

He rolls his eyes as he throws himself down on the sofa. 

“Whatever. Go mother someone else.”

“You absolutely don’t have to but would you like to come hang out with me? We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. You can sit there while I pretend to know what I’m doing.”

You laugh. You actually genuinely laugh and Steve feels like an arrow pierced his chest. God, he missed that sound. 

***

“Uh, just ignore the mess here.”, he mumbles as shuffles some papers aside and slides a chair over for you to sit in. Before he can hide it, your eyes notice the picture of you three on his desk. “Yeah, let me just move that—”

“It’s ok. You can leave it there.” He nods as he begins to focus on things in front of him. “How much of that day do you remember?”

Steve smirks as he pretends to write on the documents in front of him. 

“It’s one of the few days I actually do from beginning to end. Probably because the amusement park at the time didn’t allow alcohol and they confiscated my flask.”, he laughs but there’s a sadness behind it. “We took you there for your birthday and I don’t think you stopped smiling once.”

“Steve, do you really blame Eddie for everything?”

The man sighed at your abrupt question as he leaned back in his chair. “For everything? No. For you leaving? Yes. Y/N, I almost fucking killed him when I found out he put his hands on you.”

“What the fuck did you do, Edward Munson?!”

“I-I-I—”

“She just ran past me in the hallway and sped off when I tried to stop her. WHAT. HAPPENED?!”

“Steve, I didn’t mean to…I-I-I got so mad…”

Steve angrily grabbed his collar and yanked him up till his face was level with his. “Did you touch her? Did you fucking hit her, EDDIE!?”

Something in the metalhead’s eyes changed as he shoved his friend backwards off of him. 

“Don’t act like your God’s gift to boyfriends, Steven! Let’s not forget YOU almost fucking killed her!” Eddie marched into the bedroom and slammed the door while Steve furiously punched the wall before heading to the fridge to grab a beer.

“Him popping me isn’t why I left. When I drove off after you chased me, I had always planned on coming back…” You looked away as you tried to shake the memory. “Why do you work here? I figure with you trying to be sober this would be the worst place for you to be.”

“You would figure correctly.”, he exhales as he looks around. “Uh, after I turned myself in, no one wanted to hire me. I was too much of a liability so my dad gave me this wonderful slice of heaven.” You smile at his sarcasm. “Every day is hard but I’m doing the work. The group therapy helps as well as my amends.”

“Did you father ever participate in that?”

“Pfft, no. My father hasn’t changed, Y/N. If anything, he’s worse and makes sure to remind me every day that I’m a fuck up to our name.”

“You were never a fuck up, Steve.”

His honey eyes scan you over before he beams in your direction and flashes you some of his paperwork. “I don’t know. Have you ever tried going through this bullshit? It’s so mind numbing you may accidently fuck up!”

As he continues to work, he walks you through what he’s supposed to do and exactly how his dad wants it done. Steve can’t help but revel in this feeling of you being so close to him again and helping him. 

When he first met you in elementary, you were always so kind to him and Eddie. Sometimes he would come to school and the teacher would snap at him because he didn’t do his homework the night before. When you asked him about it, he would tell you that he didn’t understand the material and his father wouldn’t help him. 

“He says I’m stupid and I should know all this stuff by now.”

“Steve, you’re not stupid. How are you supposed to know it when we just learned it?”

From that point forward, both boys came over to your house to study and have you walk them through the material. Eddie said you always made it easy. As they got older though, Steve skated by on his popularity while Eddie settled with doing the bare minimum. They thought you didn’t know but you were highly aware that they would copy your answers on assignments all the time. 

When Steve had started drinking, he always smelled heavily like whatever was in his flask at the time so as he got worse it was harder and harder for you to be around him. He hated seeing you cringe every time he pulled you to his side. 

Now that he was sober, he smelled like a mix of cologne and the office space he worked in with a hint of his roommate’s cigarette smoke that you imagine constantly hung in the air. 

“Ok, let me put these on his desk and then I can walk with you back to our cars.”

You followed him to his father’s office, giggling under your breath at the obnoxiousness of it. It was way too big for one man and had a massive swanky office chair to match his comically large desk. On the walls, he had awards hung along with pictures of him with clients. 

“No pictures of you or your mom?”

“Oh, my mom made the shelf.”, he answers sassily as he points towards the bookshelf beside him. “Not too many though, just in case the newest side piece comes to visit.”

You come to his side as your eyes search through the photos.

“Where are you?”

“No, no, honey. I don’t get a photo. I’m the Harrington that crashed a car and almost killed a young girl. Can’t really make small talk about that when his associates come by.”

“Steve…”

“I mean, it’s fine.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as he looks towards his feet. “He’s right. I’m an embarrassment. I left the woman I love to bleed out in an accident that I caused because I was too fucking drunk to see straight.” With his hand, he gestures around the office. “I deserve this.”

Once more, instinct takes over logic as you tilt up on your toes and crane your neck to find his lips. It so odd tasting him now that his mouth and breath weren’t basted in bourbon or beer. The best way to describe his new taste is what could have been. The life you three could have had if he and Eddie had never found their vices. 

When you start to pull away his palms quickly cup your face bringing you back to him. His kisses came quick and passionate as he backed you towards his father’s desk, lifting you up, and placing you onto it. Rising your hips, you allowed him to remove your sweats and panties as you reached forward to fumble with his belt. 

When his cock sprang free, you wasted no time as you spit into your hand and massaged it into your cunt before he guided himself into you sex. 

Steve grunted at the feeling of you tightly clinging to him again, doing everything he could to not just cum right now. He was completely lost in you as he reached behind your back and shoved everything on to the floor without a second thought. 

You promptly laid down flat and he followed you, his mouth clinging to your neck as he thrust his hips against yours. 

“S-Steve…Oh my god…”, you whimpered as you ran your nails through his hair and under his shirt. It had been so long since he made anyone feel good in anyway. His parents hated him, people in town always side eyed him, and Eddie was just as miserable as he was. Hearing you moan his name in pleasure, drove him wild as he hoisted you further up the desk and fully climbed on top of you. 

The desk jostled underneath as Steve rolled his hips, practically punching the air out of your lungs as his fingers tangled in your hair. 

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna…”

Your pussy tightened around him as the coil in your tummy snapped and he mewled as your nails clawed at his skin. His head shot up to look in your eyes and you nodded at the unspoken question within them.

Steve’s lips connect with yours and after a few more rough thrusts he spills inside of you. 

“Are…are you ok?”, he asks as he leans up on his elbows. When you nod, he softly smiles as he brushes away some hair in front of your face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for the accident, for abandoning you, my behavior when I was drunk.”

“What about the behavior, Steve? How much of it do you really remember?”

“I remember screaming at you a lot and calling you names. I called you a whore more than once—”

“Even though you cheated on me.”

Steve’s jaw tightened as he gradually pulled out of you and sat in his father’s chair, handing you your clothes that had been tossed onto the floor. 

“I was a fucking prick.”

“How much of the night of the accident do you remember?”

“I remember the car flipping and Eddie pulling my arm, telling me to run—”

“What about the night he ODed?”

“I-I…he…he hurt you and then tried to block it out by snorting his drug…”

“And where were you?” You chuckle when he looks at you with a bewildered look on his face. “He’s right, you know. You are just as much to blame for me leaving as he is. You can’t make amends, Steve, if you keep blaming Eddie for everything.”

###############

Without an invitation, your mother barged into the boy’s apartment as soon as Steve opened the door to her knock. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N? Is everything alright?”

She didn’t answer as she opened Eddie’s door without knocking. 

“Hey! The fuck?” The metalhead quickly rose to his feet following her out into the living room. 

Steve tried to grab her arm to get her attention and she promptly turned around, allowing her palm to connect with his cheek.

“Where is she? What did you two do?!”

“Where is who? What is going on?”, Eddie asked completely confused. 

“My daughter didn’t come home last night and we can’t find her anywhere! I lost my baby for 3 years because of you two! Now if you know where she is tell me NOW!”

“We swear, Mrs. Y/L/N. If we knew we would tell you.”

She shakes her head as she marches towards the door before pausing and turning to face them. 

“If I had known what was really going on at the time, I never would have let you both into my house or near my daughter. If I had known that you were the reasons her self esteem was so low…the real reason she cried so much…the reason why you almost took her away from me forever!”, she roared as she pointed at Steve. “I would have killed you two myself. I shouldn’t have convinced her to come back. You both are a poison.”

With that she left them, slamming their front door for emphasis. Steve slowly heads into his room and grabs his car keys as he lightly tugs Eddie’s sleeve.

“Come on. I think I know where she might be.”

***

“I’m sorry, Munson.”

The metalhead tossed the butt of his cigarette out into the passing street as he rolled up the window. 

“No reason for you to be.”

“No, no. You were right. I’m as much a reason for how things ended up as you are. I just… the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out why all this happened. When Y/N breaks she says the same thing, ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’. I ask myself that all the time but struggle with the truth…so I blamed you.”

“She came with me the other day to see Allen. He insinuated it was in my genes. I’m meant to be a fuck up who hurts her.” He smiles softly as he continues. “She said I had more of Wayne and my mother’s genes.” They both lightly chuckle as Eddie fiddles with the ring on his finger. “Truth is, Harrington, I think we let our father’s win. Like she said, we spent our entire lives being afraid to become them that we became the very things were afraid of.”

“I was terrified to face the things we did to her. I was terrified…of knowing and accepting that I made her feel the way my dad made me feel growing up.”

“Yeah, man. Me to. That’s…that’s why what happened that night happened. There wasn’t enough blow in the world to numb the pain of me physically hurting her, Steve.”

***

When they pulled up to the elementary school, you were sitting on one of the swings with your head against the chain. This is where they first met you, on the playground when they were kids. As they walked towards you, you didn’t move or make indication to acknowledge their presences.

Steve stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he smelled it, whiskey. 

“Y/N, sweetheart? Are you alright? Your mom said you didn’t come home last night.”

As he knelt down to your level, Eddie noticed the ring of redness around your nose and the dilation in your eyes. 

“You two aren’t supposed to be here.”, you slurred. 

“Neither are you, honey. Come-Come on, we need to get you home.”

As Steve finally stepped closer, you held up your foot to stop him and pushed Eddie backwards. 

“You know, the alcohol I kinda got but with the drugs…watching what it did to you, Ed, I was like…why would he do this…it can’t be that great… After trying it myself… Hehe…I feel nothing.”, you giggle.

“Baby…”

“Usually when I get sad… I just cry it out…maybe fuck some sexy guy but do you know what’s really kept me going for three years? Knowing…that you two…are suffering without me.” Your finger raises to point at them shakily as your glassy eyes glare their way. “You say every day is hard? Good. It should be. Every day you…drag your asses out of bed…drudge to your work and put on that fake smile…I hope it’s hard. I did it for 7 years… You should be sad. Neither one of you deserved me.”

Without saying a word, they both turned and headed back to the car. Thirty minutes later, your mother pulled up to the playground and brought you back home. After laying you down in your bed, she crawled in beside you and held you as you cried.

###############

“Y/N, thank you for coming back to do this. I really appreciate you taking the time and I know they do as well.” 

You nodded at the doctor’s words as you continued to stare into the floor at their shoes. Steve had his hand over his mouth as he stared out the window while Eddie looked towards the door with his arms folded across his chest. 

“So, um, I was thinking we could start with—”

“I couldn’t wake either of you up.”, you interjected as you continued to look at the carpet. “I came home and Eddie was on the floor by his bed. He…he didn’t respond to me so I ran to Steve, fucking shaking him and practically pulling him off the sofa but… I rode in the ambulance with him and I watched them…” A tear falls and you quickly wipe it away. “I sat by your side, Ed, and waited for hours till doctors told me you were going to be ok.”

“I kept thinking ‘What the fuck am I doing? They abandoned me and left me alone in a hospital for months. I shouldn’t be here…but I can’t leave him. I love them.’ That’s when I knew I needed to leave. I could never be like you even though it’s what you deserved. I couldn’t keep…loving you when I knew if the tables were turned…you would have left me on the bedroom floor.” Your voice cracked at your last sentence and when you finally managed to look their way both men were trying to hide tears of their own as they continued to look in opposite directions. 

The doctor clears his throat as he nervously rubs his palm along his knee. 

“Guys? Any response?”

“She’s right.”, Steve mumbled. “We would have left her there. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I would have left Eddie there. I was so drunk I didn’t even know. I never thought he would…overdo it like that.”

“Me either.”, Eddie followed. “But I never thought I’d hit her either.”

His eyes find yours as you sniffle, grateful to finally hear him say and admit it. He was finally taking accountability. 

“Sweetheart, you always ask why you were never enough but the truth is…”

“…Baby, we weren’t good enough for you. You deserved so much better.”

You broke then, covering your eyes as you cried. The atmosphere shifted in front of you, feeling fingers delicately grip your wrist and bring your hands back down to your lap. 

“Can I hug you?”

You tackled your arms around Eddie’s neck as he lifted you from the chair and held you tightly to him. Warmth abruptly encased you as Steve hugged you both, one arm wrapped around your stomach as his other rested on his friend’s shoulders. 

***

“Hey, sweetie. How was it?”, your mom asked as you walked through the door after the session.

“It was good.”

Her eyes scanned you worriedly at your timid response. “Are you ok, Y/N?”

“Yeah, mom. It was just a heavy day. I’m going to go lay down ok?”

“Ok, baby. Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“Maybe later.”

As soon as your head hit the pillow on your bed, you crashed. For 10 years, you had carried everything that was theirs making it your own. Even after you left, you held on to their burdens even though you no longer had to pay for them. Hearing them say what they said and seeing the truth in their eyes was like a weight had been lifted.

They truly wanted to get better and hopefully now they could really move forward instead of being stagnate. As you drove home, you couldn’t help but feel utterly alone. Who were you without them needing you? Even in these past three years, you were still searching for who you were as an individual but they were always in the back of your mind. Maybe they always would be. That made you feel even more lonely because all you knew was their toxic sides. Who were they now?

You were still asleep when the breeze from the open window gave you a chill that ran up your spine. It suddenly stopped as you stirred at the soft sound of it closing before being followed by what sounded like shoes quietly hitting the floor. 

You sighed at the smell of cologne and cigarettes that filled your room reminding you of many naughty nights when you were younger. 

“Steve!”, you hiss. “You can’t…can’t…fuck…”

“Can’t what, honey?”, he slurred. “Oh, you mean this?”

You quickly covered your mouth as he slammed his hips roughly into yours, hitting that sensitive spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling. 

“You have to be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want to wake up mommy and daddy.”

You bite into your pillow as Eddie’s hand came around to press circles into your clit.

“Shhh, sweetheart. I know, I know it feels good. You can take it, pretty girl. Cum again for me, baby.”

Shouting into your pillow you do as he commands as he pounds into you harder till you feel him warm your insides. You whine at the overstimulation as he leans over your sweaty frame to grab the drugs he left lying on your bed side table.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not done just yet.”

You bed dipped on either side of you and once again you were encased in warmth as an arm circled around you from behind and a palm rested on your cheek. Your own limbs reached out pulling him as close to you as you could making both men groan as you began subtly grinding your hips between them. 

Soft lips landed on yours and the strong taste of coffee told you it was Steve, further proved when your fingers ran through his hair. As you turned to find Eddie, the other boy’s kisses gently trailed down your jaw line to your neck. Every single kiss and touch was delicate as if they were afraid you’d shatter like glass. 

“Y/N, open your eyes, honey.”

“Please.”, Eddie begged when you shook your head.

When you did what they ask, you were met with Steve’s smiling face. “So beautiful. Can we take off your clothes?”

You nod as you shift on to your back, allowing each boy to undress you until you were naked before them. Steve couldn’t help but run his fingers over the scar on your stomach. You were always self-conscious about it especially when God forbid your shirt would ride up or you would be intimate with a man and someone would ask what happened. He didn’t need to ask. He already knew and it killed him every time he saw it. Before you left, after he would fuck you, Steve would slunk to the kitchen to grab the strongest drink he could find to block out the memory.  Now, he lingered, letting his lips trace over the tissue as your fingers tenderly petted his head.

Eddie removed his clothing, pausing when your eyes noticed a new tattoo on his chest above his heart. 

“Never tell me the odds.

August 1988—”

“From Star Wars…the three of us saw that on our first official date and this is when I became sober.”

Tilting your head, he pleasantly sighed when your lips tenderly kissed along the ink on his chest.

“Just lay back, baby. We got you.”

The metalhead’s tongue pressed against your skin and slid down to meet his friend halfway as they both gripped each of your thighs to hold you open wider for them. While Steve’s mouth wrapped around your clit, Eddie’s tongue continued to taste your body, darting in and out of you entrance making you whimper. 

Their hands continued to roam until the metalhead took over so the other boy could remove his clothes as well. When he climbed back into your bed his hand petted your head as he attached his lips to your neck, sucking on your flesh, and making you moan as your pussy clenched around Eddie’s tongue.

Your fingers pressed his face deeper into you and his hands dug into your hips as he devoured you until your body trembled, clinging to them both as you came.

As if they expected everything to be the same, Steve turned to reach in the drawer by your bed and produced a bottle of lube that he passed to his friend. His palms cupped your face as he kissed your forehead. 

“Freshman year my dad gave me the grown man speech. ‘Son, you’re starting high school. Time to grow up and buckle down! Your life starts now.’ He then proceeded to fuck his secretary in his office since my mom was out of town. He said MY life started now but I know he meant HIS life…how he pictured it for me being just like him. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from our bar and hid upstairs. That was my first drink.”

He lifted your leg over his hip and you both groaned as he guided himself inside of you. Steve kissed your chin down your jawline as your head tilted back when you felt Eddie rubbing the lube between your cheeks. 

“I was in town that summer before freshman year hanging out with Rick and getting some food. I tripped over something and fell against a car making the alarm blare. This woman came out and yelled at us threatening to call the cops. Rick tried to explain what happened but she didn’t care. ‘Like father like son!’. I couldn’t stop thinking about her reaction and the weed wasn’t helping… that was the first time I tried the harder drugs.”

His mouth fell open as he slowly slid his cock into your ass, gripping your waist as he kissed your shoulder blade.

You pulled them both as close to you as you could get them as they both started thrusting into you. 

“I-I loved you since the moment…I met you two.” After kissing his lips, Steve panted against yours as he mewled and his eyebrows scrunched together in focus. “You were so sweet, Steve. I-I—fuck—I fell off the jungle gym…and you ran to me…helped me.”

Eddie’s arms squeezed you tighter to his chest as you turned to kiss him, pressing your forehead against his cheek as he moaned.

“You…you made me laugh, Eddie. W-When we came to the swings—mmm—you kept telling me jokes to make me…smile.”

They both pumped into you faster and you held them both as your eyes closed. 

“You helped me…I never stopped trying to help you.”

Steve lopped his arm under knee, holding your leg up higher against his body to allow them to hit you in different angles as you turned to press your face into your pillow. You shook in their hands as you came.

Eddie gripped your bicep and grunted in your ear as he rolled his hips till you felt him warm your insides. Steve soon followed, groaning as he used your thigh for leverage and pounded into you till he coated your walls with his release.

They gradually pulled out of you and the metalhead used the glass of water by your bed to wet the hand towel he found in your closet to gently clean your lower half. Neither of you wanted to risk sneaking to your bathroom and being discovered by one of your parents. 

“I’m sorry for ruining holidays and anniversaries because I was too drunk to care or even act right. I’m sorry for snapping at you and screaming at you for every little thing especially when you were trying to help.” Steve’s fingers brush your hair away from your face as his thumb caressed your cheek. “I’m sorry for cheating on you. The alcohol made me believe that you would do it to. I’m sorry for what happened with Glen. I couldn’t accept you being happy with anyone who wasn’t us.”

“I’m sorry for the accident. Y/N, I never should have gotten behind that wheel and I never should have left you, honey.” His voice cracked and your heart broke as you wrapped your arm around his waist. “I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you alone afterwards. I was so fucking scared because I knew it was my fault. I chose to stay home and drink instead of seeing what I had done to you. I’m sorry for being so wasted you couldn’t wake me up when you needed me. I was so fucking angry at Eddie…at the situation…I’ve never learned how to handle emotions like that… fuck…even now. I don’t know how to tell my dad to fuck off.”

His glassy eyes meet yours as he firmly holds your head in his hands. 

“I am sorry, Y/N. None of what happened was your fault. You did nothing wrong to instigate any of our behavior.” Steve pulled you to his chest as you both sobbed. 

Eddie waited patiently as he watched everything front of him. When you rolled over to face him, his friend extended him the same courtesy as the metalhead reached out to wipe your eyes. 

“Sweetheart, to me you were always perfect. Since the day we met you, you had this light inside  that just radiated from you. I spent the first part of my life in darkness and when my mom died…I thought I’d never be happy again…then you came along. Y/N, I was so terrified something was going to happen or someone was going to take you from me; from us. The drugs made me believe that by degrading you or fighting any man that even looked at you…it would help keep you here.”

“I’m sorry for calling you names and throwing things at you when I was angry because the blow just amplified those fears. It made me feel helpless. I’m sorry for frightening you and making you cry all the time with broken promises because I just…couldn’t quit.”

“I’m sorry about Glen. Because of what I said while I was high he left you and broke your heart even more. I’m sorry about abandoning you…at the accident. Steve was right, it was my idea. I had so much drugs in my pocket, when I heard the sirens I thought about myself instead of you. I didn’t want to end up in jail like my father…”

Eddie’s jaw tightened as you watched him struggle to continue. Placing your arm on his hip, you leaned in to kiss his lips hoping to comfort him. 

“I’m sorry I hit you, Y/N.”, he whispered. “I so fucking stoned…I didn’t even… I should have run after you. I should have waited for you to come back home and groveled at your feet. I should have made a plan then and there to get clean. All I kept thinking about was your face and how you looked at me; the way my mom used to look at my dad after he’d hurt her. I just wanted to erase it. I couldn’t handle being like him. I’m sorry you had to find me like that and I’m so fucking sorry you had to handle that on your own. I’m so sorry.”

He held you as you cried and after a while Steve’s arm circled around you as Eddie continued petting your hair while your eyes slowly began to close. 

“I forgive you.”

***

The sun gleaming through your window woke you up the next morning and you groaned as you stirred from your sleep. As you opened your eyes, you quickly realized you were alone, your eyes scanning the area till you notice a note on your nightstand with your name.

“Y/N,

We both have so much more we want to say but we are nowhere near ready to express them the way we want to. We meant what we said in therapy…you always deserved better than us. More importantly, you deserved to be happy. 

While you were sleeping, we talked about a lot of things and we realized that while the three of us are doing so much better we still have a way to go. I’m quitting my job with my dad today and finally figuring out who I am. You inspired me to travel and do some soul searching on my own. 

I’m taking some time off work and touring with the guys. I spent most of my life either being afraid of my dad or becoming him. Princess, you showed me it’s ok to just be Eddie Munson. I want to do something that would make my mom proud. 

We wanted to wake you up and tell you this but we knew as soon as those beautiful eyes met ours we’d talk ourselves out of leaving. Truth is, honey, you still have some healing to do to.

You said you were still trying to figure out who you were without us. Maybe now, pretty girl, you can let go and finally be free. 

In two years, Eddie and I will have been sober for 5 years total and we’d love to celebrate that with you. Meet us at the diner August 1993. If you don’t show up, we’ll understand. If you’re married with kids, we’d love to hear about them. No matter what, we love you and we just want you to be happy. 

Steve & Eddie

################

1993

Eddie showed up an hour early, bouncing his leg as he flicked his ash into the tray. The man breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a BMW pull into the parking lot and hastily stood up from the table to meet Steve halfway as he gave his friend a hug. 

“Hey Harrington. Jesus, you look good.”

“Thanks, Ed. So do you, man. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. A few months ago, we signed with a label so the guys and I have just been recording 24/7.”

“No way! That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, thank you. What about you?”

“I’m doing ok. My dad cut me off after I left so I’ve actually been doing some odd jobs while traveling. About a year ago, I settled a bit up north and got my certification to be a counselor for people struggling with addiction.”

“Well look at you.”, Eddie chuckled.

The sound of a throat clearing got their attention and they both turned to see you standing before them with the biggest smile they had ever seen on your beautiful face. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around Eddie’s neck as held you to him.

“God, sweetheart, you look so beautiful.”

You turned to Steve who lifted you off your feet. “Me? Look at you two. I never would have imagined…”

The three of you scooted into the booth talking well into the evening about everything these past two years held. For the first time, no one was angry, sad, or heartbroken. For the first time since you met them, they seemed content and at peace. For that you were extremely grateful. 

##############

@sheisjoeschateau

@peachy-bunnns

[jhuzen]

Hi!! I wanted to make a request if you're taking them right now! (Sorry if you aren't, feel free to just ignore!!((in love with your writing by the way it's amazing)))

My idea is Zhongli with a partner who is very usually very cheery and chaotic but very emotionally closed off. Until they get drunk for whatever reason and sobbing to Zhongli about how much they're in love with him and how he's the best thing that ever happened to them etc.

Basically just very mushy drunk reader.

Anyway, hope you're doing well, make sure to drink water and be nice to yourself!

truth serum [gn/m.reader]

asmsiskdkcmeimcwdc?? not me absolutely having fun with this godsend ask. like. tysm anon. i love it. you have no idea how amazed and happy i am to see this ask. good shit. another big brained anon ftw. also i hope i did it some justice 😭 i really enjoyed writing their chemistry,, it’s so cute hehe

𖦹 a pinch of angst, drinking, alcohol, an attempt at a cute scenario

In all the years that Zhongli has known you, there was nothing short of joy and amusement that you brought into his life. Since the day he met you up on one of the mountains he’s shaped and created, you’ve enticed him and drew him in so effortlessly and he complied, growing closer like a moth to a flame. You were the sun that everybody looked forward to — him more so.

And he wasn’t wrong with his judgment, you gave what you offered. You were the gentle glow and the warmth that radiated on the nights that he’s cold. Always blessing him with that smile of yours — how ironic was it that he was the famed archon, and yet he looked to you and worshipped you far more than anyone in the people of Liyue could ever do so with him. To him, you were the unsung deity, the person that deserved a throne but never needed one, your benevolence exceeded anyone’s expectations and anyone wouldn’t be ashamed to have you.

You are Zhongli’s pride and joy, the only one capable of forging the embers of passion that sweltered within him. You are his everything.

And even with such a kind attitude, you were no downer. You exhibited a form of exuberance that immediately drew everyone in. With that warming smile of yours, everyone wanted to be near you for a chance (though Zhongli still with the characteristics of the draconic Morax would refuse anything closer, you were his even before he staked his claim).

Said exuberance of yours often turned you into a mad riot — a whirlwind of pure excitement that anyone could barely keep up with. Zhongli had to stifle a quiet laugh when he had to come get you from Wanmin restaurant, Guoba scolding you as you tried to beat Xiangling on who can eat the most Jueyun Chilis. You lost to young girl, but Xiangling wasn’t doing any better. You tried to reason out that you were losing on purpose, but with your labored breathing and your adorably red face, Zhongli could tell otherwise.

Often times, Zhongli would get dragged into such schemes, to the point that he has to save you from plummeting down into Osial’s prison when you tried to propose to him to be your lover in the stone forest. It truly was memorable for all the wrong (and right) reasons.

You’ve endeared him when you took the leap of faith and came to him with open arms, ready to finally have him after the long-winded pining, the hinting glances he would give you, and the way the former archon only seems to care about you and only you far more than anyone else.

Being with you was nothing short of delightful. Everyday, Zhongli would wake up to your breathtaking smiles and home-cooked breakfast. You entertained his endeavors and stories that could last for days, even making remarks of your own. You bought him trinkets that ranged from something simple, to something he knew even Tartaglia’s bank would quiver at. You were perfect.

Well. Generously speaking.

By all means, you weren’t a bad partner or a lover, you gave him everything, from the material possessions, down to the intimate moments you and him shared.

It was only that there are times, when Zhongli would be left in the silence of your shared home, he would zone into those moments that were so intimate emotionally and found… that it was only him that ever shared the appreciations, the loving gratitude, and the genuine love that he feels for you. And you accepted it wholeheartedly, only to turn the other way and continue on with what you’re doing.

It worried him greatly.

Even more when his thoughts were proven right as you held him so closely as you and him laid under the shade of the tree, with him comfortably resting on top of you. He could hear your heartbeat from your chest, as he laid his ear on it, quiet thumping can be heard and if he were to listen close enough, there was a timber of kindness and love inside it.

He sighed, content and at peace within your arms, “I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated life more than now…”

“Hm? Why do you say that?” You asked, hands slowly removing itself from his waist as you played around with the strands of his hair. “You’re not dying on me, are you?” You jested and he only scoffed with no malice. Ever the joker you are, it’s ridiculous how he fell for such charms.

“I am merely appreciating the finer things in life. Madame Ping has urged me to talk more about it,” a mere white lie for him to coax out your vulnerability. Madame Ping was far too aware of his happiness now that he has you — she was always the one on the receiving end of his talk of fondness about you.

“Oh? Then what makes you appreciate this life then?”

“Complications are far behind me now that I’m no longer the one in control… everything feels so much simpler yet so intricate,” he looked up at you, chin resting on your chest as he flashed you a small smile. “All of it because now I have you. I love you, [Name]. I would give you all the stars if I could, and slay a thousand beasts to keep you from harm… you are my everything and without you, I can no longer see myself as something…”

He watched with glee as your eyes widened at his words, no doubt taken by surprise. Zhongli can feel it, your vulnerability, ready to bare itself to him with the same level of intimacy as he’s displayed. Just that, and he can be the most content man in the world.

“I— ah, that’s good.”

Zhongli blinked owlishly as you stumbled over your words. Struggled even. He felt your muscles tense up beneath him.

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy, dearest.”

He couldn’t shield you from the way his eyes flashed a smidge of hurt at your response. And you weren’t an idiot. A bit reckless to the point of trouble following you, sure, but you were far from ignorant. Especially to your lover. You frowned a little and tilted his chin up, “Hey now, don’t make that face. I’m glad you’re feeling okay in the life that you’ve been living. And I love you too,” you tried to salvage what you could but even you were aware at how lacking it was.

Zhongli wasn’t unappreciative of your efforts, but he could only nod and stomach the gnawing worry inside him as he felt your lips brush against the skin of his forehead. Surely there’s a way to pry you open, right? There was something holding you back… and he doesn’t know what.

He was aware already that despite how accepting you seem, no one has ever seen you so vulnerable. You were an individual so full of life, but you never once wore your heart on your sleeves. And if people could look past those smiles of yours that are just so full of life, they would’ve known just how closed off you truly are. It was confusing, really, and Zhongli was starting to doubt things.

If he can’t even know your true feelings… then what’s stopping you from suddenly going up and leaving, only to never come back? Zhongli was heartbroken at the thought, he can’t lose you, not in a million years and even more than that.

But how… in Teyvat is he going to pry you open?

“ALCOHOL!!”

Zhongli almost yelped as he watched the poor you crash into the cobble streets of the harbor, jolting at the sight of the infamous Crux Captain on top of your back, with an incredibly huge smile on her face. He grimaced at your weak groan. He knows you can stomach a little pain. He knows that after he watched you confront Azhdaha to help the traveler into coaxing him to give them some materials for something important.

“[Name]!! I’ve arrived with a hundred souvenirs and a thousand more kegs! Courtesy of the rich lady up top, of course.” Beidou cackled as she finally got off of you, helping you up to your feet. “Oh! Hey there! Hope you don’t mind me borrowing your beloved for awhile!” She winked at Zhongli… but from her one eye, it only seemed like a mere blink.

Zhongli tilted his head a little as the look of confusion crossed his features, “Pardon? What do you mean by that, Captain Beidou?”

You dusted off the last bits of dust on your clothing and laughed a little, “Ah, I almost forgot. Y’see, before Beidou left, she told me I owe her a challenge.”

“A challenge?” The former archon cocked an eyebrow.

“A challenge!” Beidou parroted with a loud laugh, patting your back rather strongly to the point that you almost went back down to kiss the ground. “I challenged [Name] into the greatest drinking contest ever! Them against me, of course! It’s finally time for us to prove who’s the one that can hold the most liquor in the world!”

Zhongli looked at you questioningly, and you returned it with a shrug, “It’s what she wanted. And she won’t leave me alone until I say yes. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the ship.”

“Like there was even a chance for you to say no!” Beidou laughed again before patting your back and Zhongli’s shoulder, “Alright, I’ll see you in Liuli Pavilion! The booze is waiting and I don’t want my rival backing out!”

You had to rub your back from the soreness and sighed, “Though I doubt she’ll win, you have to admire the captain’s spirit. It’s hard not to honor her request.”

Zhongli stepped nearer and fixed up the lapels of your suit, smiling a little, “You know it’s a rather unfair match, right? While the Captain is amazing, you’re basically impossible to even get drunk.”

“That may be true, but hey, who knows?”

Who knows, indeed — is what all Zhongli could say as he gawked at the many barrels of alcohol that were stacked upon each other. The captain was not kidding, she secured barrels of it even, and the spark of glee that was within her eyes was relatively alarming. He merely tagged along so he can at least help clean up, but now curiosity was lingering at the back of his mind.

He’s never once seen you drunk. Often times, it’ll be him already mumbling about on the occasions that you and him would go out and drink to unwind (often in the company of one harbinger who would always challenge you and subsequently lose). He’s even seen you offer a handicap and drink Snezhnaya’s fire water in one bottle and Tartaglia still got wasted first.

You simply held your alcohol so well. Zhongli figured maybe this was the reason for Beidou’s challenge, to finally outdo you.

And Zhongli would have called it a night if it hadn’t turned for the unexpected.

But before that, expectantly, Beidou was out. She couldn’t beat you, and probably not even a million years. But she managed far more than any other human out there, swigging drink after drink with little to no care, keeping up with you all the more. It was almost inhuman, really, to see her empty the huge beer glass with so much gusto, the accompanying snacks as chasers left to the crew members who were also around to witness their captain’s victory.

And when she finally tapped out, surprisingly, you… you were already drunk.

Zhongli waited in bated breath as you and him were the only ones awake in the establishment. He was positive even the owners had to have dozed off with how long this competition has been going on already.

“Z…Zhooooong…zhongzhong…” you murmured and he was already by your side in a flash.

“Dear? Are you alright?” The concern inside him was quelled as he watched your flushed cheeks brighten even more. You’ve had one too many to the point that you were barely coherent. He was surprised to say the least — seeing you so feverish and so drunk.

“Zhonnnngggzzzzzzzli,” he blinked as you looked up, letting go of the beer glass you had in your hand. “Did I… win?”

“Sure did. We’re the only ones awake.” He laughed.

You raised a wobbly and weak fist in victory, “H….Hhhh…. Y-Yep. D-Das’right… I am the… undefeated champ,” your fist landed softly on the back of Beidou’s head, bonking her slightly with a slurred grin, “Take that… you… sea lady thing…”

Zhongli sighed a little, it was definitely in your fashion to get yourself into this kind of situation. Definitely your style to agree to something as ridiculous as a drinking contest and get drunk for the very first time. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips, “I will go get you some water and carry you home, yes?” He said and you nodded.

Only that when he did stand up to get water, you pulled him back down from his coattails, making him sit on your lap.

“[Name], I…”

“Shhhshshshshhh, no. Shush.” You huffed, enveloping his waist with your arms as you buried your face into his chest. He let out a breath, “Shush.” You chided and Zhongli obliged, trying to breathe quietly… however that’s done.

You and him stayed in silence, and he relished in the feeling of you within him. It was a sight to behold, something he will definitely remember for all eternity.

“Zhongli…” you murmured into the fabric of his coat, he only let out a quiet hum in response, playing with your hair like you did with him before. “I love you.”

“I know, dear. And I lo—”

“No!” You suddenly yelled and one of the crew members stirred at your volume, but you could care less. You lifted your head from his chest and held his shoulders, pulling him back a little as you looked at him square in his eyes. “I. Really. Love. You.”

Zhongli smiled a little and nodded. But you cut him off before he could say it back again, “I don’t think you realize just… how much… I love you. It’s ridiculous. I love you so much that it’s soooo annoying,” you drawled and the former archon had to wonder what you meant.

Lucky him that you were going to tell anyway. It seemed as though a moment of sobriety and clarity came upon you, as your lazy slurring left your system while you spoke.

“You… are probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I know I don’t say it much, but,” you hiccuped and Zhongli only then saw the tears cascading down your face, “I really, really, really love you so much. You have no idea how much it broke me when I saw your face before. You looked so sad, Zhongli, so, so, soooo sad. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before, love. I don’t know what came over me, and I—!”

“Oh dear,” an airy chuckle left Zhongli’s parted lips as he watched you suddenly break open the emotions you held in your indestructible dam, flowing through like the tears in your eyes.

“I just— I just… I just!!! I just love you so much, man! Y-You treat me so well and give me all that I hope for!” You wailed so dramatically and Zhongli had to wonder if anyone woke up (he hopes not for the sake of your dignity and that he only wishes to be the only man to see this side of you), “Zhongli, I will marry you. It’s not even a want to do kind of thing anymore, I-I feel like if I don’t have you, I will die.”

It wasn’t even your intention, but soon tears pricked at the ends of his eyes, sniffling at your display, “Let’s hope we do not come to that point, yes?”

You pouted a little, “…Yes… Anyway… I’m… sorry I couldn’t say much… it’s hard for me, I guess,” you confessed and Zhongli understood. He always will for you. “But please understand… that if I also could, I would bring you not just stars but all worlds, that for your safety, I will not just kill a thousand threats but also build the strongest home… I will do it all for you…”

Suddenly, the fears within Zhongli were quelled and sent away as you finally gave out, letting him know that his worries were nothing but anxiety and that he will always have a place in your heart. He could feel his cheeks warm at your proposition earlier of tying the knot, even he couldn’t resist the giddiness that flooded his system at your drunken promise. It was enough for him to know that you still loved him even when it was expressed through a drunken honesty.

“…I love you… Zhongzhong…” you took your final shred of consciousness to breathe out your little declaration, eyes finally closing as you gave into the blissful slumber.

He cupped your cheeks and pecked your lips with a content smile, “I love you too, [Name].”

Zhongli was right about himself when you finally laid your feelings to him so openly. Because right now, he can confidently claim that he is most content man in the world.

[wsdwriting]

little snippet of writing for these guys \o/ if you’d like, listen to Susie Save Your Love by Allie X to hear the song that inspired this bit!!

(go here for character information)

reblogs appreciated \o/!!

Luz wakes up with a piercing headache, and curled around someone. She squirms—pulling herself in closer and pressing her face more firmly against the other person. Tries desperately to block out the light leaking through her eyelids. 

Her movement wakes them, though. They stretch, before laughing softly and running a hand through her hair. 

“Good morning, Luz.” Comes Amalia’s amused voice. 

Luz freezes. Tries to run through her memories to figure out what events led her to here—except she can’t recall anything. Stupid alcohol. 

She pulls away, braving the sunlit room. 

“‘Morning.” She mutters, throwing an arm over her eyes. 

“Let me get the curtains.” 

The bed dips and creaks as Amalia leaves it. Luz listens to the sound of curtains being tugged tightly closed, and removes her arm to probably the darkest they’ll get during the day in a room like this. 

Amalia flops back onto the bed, crawling under the covers. Her hair is messy, and she still hasn’t taken her makeup off from last light, and she looks beautiful. 

And Luz really shouldn’t be having those thoughts even if both of them are single. 

But… then again… they also spent the night together. And she’s wearing one of Luz’s shirts. 

“Um…” As much as she’s almost too nervous to ask, she has to know. “Did we…?”

“Luz!” Amalia exclaims, sounding a little scandalised. But before Luz can panic too much, she laughs. “No, no. You were much too drunk, anyway. I just drove you home, and you got clingy.”

Embarrassing, but probably less of a mess than fucking her friend. 

“Ah.” She tugs the covers up to hide her face a little. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine—I don’t mind.” Amalia smiles. “I wouldn’t have signed myself up as designated driver if I did.”

“True, true.”

“There’s water and painkillers on the bedside table, by the way.”

Luz turns so fast she flares up her nausea and has to take a second to recover. Amalia does not manage to cover her laugh. Not that Luz thinks she was particularly trying to. 

“You’re a life saver, Pedra.” Luz declares, quickly swallowing down the painkillers. 

“It’s nothing.” But Luz can tell she’s pleased. “I just figured since I was already here… oh, and by the way”—she plucks a small piece of paper from her bedside table—“you got someone’s number.”

“Oh, man…” Unsurprising, even though she’s been trying not to do that recently. “Do you remember who’s it is?”

“Not really.” Amalia looks over the paper like it’ll help her remember. “She was bald, I think. And pretty butch. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying much attention—too focused on getting you home, you know?” 

Luz tries to conjure the memories to mind and fails miserably. 

“What should I do with it?” Amalia asks, leaning to the side to dangle it over where Luz knows her rubbish bin by the desk is. “Put it with the others?”

They’ve gone through this whole post-club song and dance before—even if Amalia has never actually stayed the night. Luz throws away almost every number she gets, but that’s usually because she was just flirting to get free drinks. 

This time she can’t remember what happened. It could’ve been someone she really hit it off with—like Amalia. And even if it truly is like what happened with Amalia and she just gets a new friend, that’s a good thing, too. 

“No, no, I… I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll… think about it?” Amalia raises her eyebrows.

“I just want to see if I remember more, you know?” Then she groans. “Besides—I, um… I need a rebound after that last guy.”

“I thought you were over him.”

“I am! Miguel even made sure I deleted his number because they’ve seen what happens if I don’t. Just…” She sighs. “It’ll be easier with someone else, you know? So I can stop thinking about him entirely.”

Amalia opens her mouth likes she’s going to say something. Then she seems to think better of it and leans back to the bed, depositing the paper on the bedside table again. 

“If you’re sure.” She settles on. 

“Well… I guess I am… Maybe I’ll get some memories back after breakfast and decide to chuck it, anyway.” Luz says, laughing a little. “But we exchanged numbers at a club. So you never know, right?” 

“Right.” Amalia climbs out of bed, and heads to the door. “Wait here, I’ll go make breakfast.” 

“You’re my saviour, Pedra!” Luz calls after her. 

She doesn’t get a response, but figures Amalia was already too far away to bother. So, she curls up in the blankets again, content to catch a few more minutes of sleep before breakfast is ready.

——

hope you enjoyed \o/!! this is set kind of like… towards the end of the start section I would say. if you have any questions about the story feel free to send them in \o/!!

(also let me know if you want to be on a taglist for this writing!!)

[queen-of-elves]

Late night paradise

Sanji Vinsmoke x reader (Modern AU)

Masterlist

A/N: Reader is slightly older than Sanji - Sanji in his early 20s while reader is in her late 20s, I couldn’t get the dinner scene from my head lol, thank you @the-fluff-piece

-btw while writing this reader was small chested in my mind, some love for us small chested girlies too :))

A/N2: It has been so long since I started writing this (almost year ago) and also since I posted any fanfic on here so…it’s definitely not my style but I thought it would be a shame to completely rewrite it

Words: 3,2K

Warning: stocking kink? But nothing really explicit?, just Sanji fascinated with Y/N outfit haha?, jealous Sanji and jealous reader, mentions of Nami (she is called melon chested, I am so sorry but my god girl get a good chiropractor I am praying for you) and Koby, alcohol consumption 

Summary: Working overtime doesn’t really have to be so bad, not with good food and a nice company.

Divider by: @cafekitsune

You were working overtime again, for the third time this week, simply because someone from the intern team messed up the paperwork and now you were the one stuck with it. It was all your fault in the end, you should have trained them better. You were the nice senior so of course you would help them out. Goodyshoes of the office. You were a senior but still got treated like an intern from time to time. 

The job itself wasn't a bad one, yes, it was demanding and the paperwork was boring but some masochistic part of you liked it. You liked the routine it provided, you knew when you would wake up and what your day would consist of. You just simply didn’t mind it.

And part of this routine was also your little indulging moment when it came to overtime, in the time when you were late in the office and done with your work, with your whole body aching and mind going numb, you just craved a good dinner. It was actually a few months ago when you noticed the little restaurant on your way home. 

You already took off your blazer which now hanged loosely on your forearm with your work bag. The night warm breeze was calming, making you even more sleepy but the slight numb pain in your stomach told you, you had to eat something before actually going to bed. You knew from an experience that not eating after working overtime was not a way out of the misery, especially when you would feel even more sick in the morning thanks to your empty stomach. 

So there you stood, in front of a nice looking restaurant that lit up the otherwise dim and empty street. The light pulled you closer like a moth, inviting you in to fill your belly. The sign next to the door showed a menu big enough for even the pickiest eater to choose from, windows were covered in dark curtains but the place wasn’t looking intimidating at all.

There were few what you assumed to be regulars, drinking away at the bar with a very handsome young man serving them. The food in front of them made your mouth water, it looked fragrant and delicious. Moving closer, a light bell chime resonated behind you, finally signaling to everyone inside that another hungry customer decided to enter this paradise. 

And from that day you would visit this place every time you would work overtime, little treat for the tired you. So slowly you, yourself, became their regular, his regular, the young chef that served the delicious food. It was always just him, you never witnessed another cook next to him, every time you would enter it would be his smile greeting you. 

You could feel a heavy gaze on you, making you uncertain if it would be appropriate to move. Was he truly so shamelessly staring at you stocking covered legs? Your tired mind was probably imagining things. No sane being would do such a thing and he seemed like a gentleman at all times, except this one.

But after this, it happened each time you visited this place after a long day in the office. You would be hungry and tired, entering the restaurant, you were already greeted by the handsome cook with a soft smile before going to sit at what you now deemed as your table. It brought even more comfort to your routine and nowadays you were more happy to take overtime, knowing full well you will spend the end of the day in that restaurant, eating delicious and filling food while in the company of a handsome man. Handsome man who would keep staring at you with what you once thought was a friendly smile. However, now you know better.

“It’s rude to stare.” You finally mustered the courage to speak up, to tell him you could feel his eyes on you. 

“Can’t help it. You look just so relaxed and happy when you eat my food, miss.” Corners of his mouth twitched upward the moment he spoke up. The mischievous look painted on his face was intoxicating, but you both knew that was not what you meant. But you enjoyed this little game of his, not addressing how his eyes slowly slipped down back to your thighs where they encored themself onto the stretched fabric covering them.

Today you decided for something heavier, something as filling as eating a whole pig but comforting in a sense only ramen could bring. Only his ramen could actually. You were used to midnight dinners of cup ramen but it had nothing on the bowl of deliciousness Sanji, through your small talks you learned his name, would put in front of you. The fragrance lulling you to sleep like a baby, the warmth making you nicely cozy but god, there was nothing better than the taste. 

You tried to keep calm while your face grew warmer, his gaze was now not only admiring you and your attire but you could feel his eyes tearing at the fabric covering you, trying to guess what was inside. So you tried to divert his attention, also curious about the young man.

“Why did you open this restaurant?” Your words slurred between each bite, filled with fishcake and egg cooked to perfection. His gaze on your legs stayed for a moment, before turning soft again.

“When I was a teenager I used to work as a help under this really great chef, he taught me everything, I owe him a lot actually. But when I grew older he couldn’t offer me a position at his restaurant or he didn’t want to, who knows. He probably wanted me to go to college like everyone my age at that time.”

“You are so young.” You noticed he looked young but it never crossed your mind he might actually be. What you deemed as a fake boyish charm thanks to his young complexion was in reality an actual boy with some charm. 

“Is it a problem?” Oh, he was flirting, definitely flirting, his charming smirk confirmed it. But it was so long since someone flirted with you, you simply had no time to go anywhere, to meet new people, to get flirted with. Work has simply consumed you since leaving college. It felt nice to be the object of someone’s desires but it still felt slightly wrong, he was much younger than you and he knew it as well and still flirted with you.

But he continued, digressing from the topic at hand, running back to your question. “I wanted to prove to my old man that I could do it on my own.” His hands moved around, from rubbing his neck in a nervous manner to drumming on the counter while his eyes danced around the room, in some sort of important inspection of the place with the right words missing from his tongue.

“So you saved up enough money and opened up this place?” 

The happiness from your interest in this topic was seeping from him, eyes full of spark and cheeks stretched into a big goofy smile. “Yes! And I love cooking, cooking for people in general actually.” 

“That’s nice.” You never had aspiration like he did, so noble, you simply wanted to make money so you could buy stuff. The goal now seems so bizarre and mundane compared to his. But in contemporary society you were the one who won, who achieved what is meant to be achieved. You didn’t feel like it, maybe when you were young you had such a dream but now it has faded out and become a distant memory.

And before you knew it, your meal was all gone just like the time, night shifting to early morning. However, the both of you kept on talking, about past, present and possible future. That night you became some sort of friends, even more familiar with each other over the nights spent in the restaurant near each other. Talking about anything with him was so easy and so the both of you became closer and closer.

You knew this was going to be awkward, a horrible idea on your part but you couldn’t act differently. When one of your coworkers asked if you had any tips where the department should hold another company get together you automatically mentioned Sanji’s restaurant. But the moment those words escaped your lips you felt guilty, as if you had spilled a secret and in some sense you did. Afterall you did view it as your escape fantasy, something that was yours and only yours.

It felt weird to enter the restaurant in the daylight, you have never seen the restaurant lit up with sunlight, in your memory there was only artificial light in it. “Are you familiar with this place?” One of your subordinates, the silly intern you had to train since last month when he was admitted into your care. Koby was the only one of the interns that went through training under you that seemed to care about the job. It made you feel happy, not to mention he was a sweet kid, coming to the company right after finishing college, you were a bit nervous the job would grind away any kind of enthusiasm he had for existing after a few weeks at the company. 

“Oh, she was the one to recommend it!” One of your coworkers yelled from the entrance of the restaurant, trying to overcome her voice being drowned out by the other’s chit chat while they were searching for their table. You cringed at this, the words itself drew attention to you more than you wanted.

But before Koby could ask another voice seemed to find its way to you. “Really?” You knew this voice too much, too intimately in some sense. “I am happy to hear that actually.” It's been a few days since you last saw him and you have missed this smile. This happy smile that was currently making the other women in your group giggle at his boyish charm. God, you already hated it, you wanted this smile only for yourself. The selfish part of you was back again and wanted to drive away all the attention that was on him.

And while you were distracted by Sanji’s charming smile Koby politely took off your coat. A gesture you understood as simply friendly, more of gratitude for being his superior than anything else, but apparently it was viewed by a pair of blue eyes as unwanted. His eyes now sharp, boyish smile now completely gone, just as the boy you viewed him as on so many occasions. However, before anyone was able to realize the quick shift between his expressions he was back to his polite smile.

“I will send someone to take your orders.” That was polite, but too formal for your sweet Sanji. Maybe it was because this was a more formal setting, there were more potential customers so he must have put on his more professional face. You liked this adult spark to his young face but there was a bitter aftertaste to it. Something uncanny was happening that slipped your attention.

“Who was this?” Koby’s puppy-like curiosity was on most days highly appreciated but not today, not with how unsure you felt about this situation. “The chef of this restaurant.” You answered drily, unable to focus on more than finding a place to sit at, Koby right next to you as the loyal and sweet intern he was.

When everyone was seated and polite greetings were exchanged, a ginger haired woman came to gather all the orders. She was pretty and you have never seen her before, she must have only worked during the day in the restaurant. Her long hair flowed behind her while she skillfully noted down each order, winking at some of your male coworkers, earning a massive tip.

There was no reason for you to be jealous, right? You were a mature business woman, who had her silly little feelings and crushes under control. Adult women don’t get jealous like some stupid young girls over other members of the opposite gender existing in their crush vicinity.

Crush? He is not my crush. He is just… What is he to… me?

However, you were dead wrong, some ugly green monster reared its head out the moment the young ginger woman returned to Sanji, writing the orders into the system. Your maturity dissipated with only a slight touch of her hand on his chin, murmuring soft words to him you were unable to hear. The small contact warming up his cheeks and goofy smile creeping on his face was enough for you to grip roughly the table you sat at. And then she was gone, disappeared behind a now closed door at the back of the open kitchen counter. It made your blood boil, how dare she act so affectionately with Sanji.

Wait. What if it’s his girlfriend, what if they are close, she must have known him longer and more intimately since she was his coworker. And on top of that, her boobs were huge, of course men would stare at her like that, of course Sanji would stare at her like that.

 You had no chance against those monstrously big things. Your mood soured even more now. Attempting to drown your sorrow, the moment she returned with the first round of drinks, you downed half of your beer in big gulps not caring about anything else. The beer tasted sweet in your mouth, cold and calming just for the moments those big gulps trailed right into your empty belly. 

Maybe Sanji could make you something delicious to eat, something that’s almost complimentary to the beer, something… he was back in your mind again and with the ginger melon chested girl by his side, gosh you needed more to drink, this was not enough. Sake was the right way to go, at least for now. So you flagged her down to bring you something stronger while finishing your beer in the last few sips, giving her a bit of a look while giving her the glass back. You could still be polite to her as you would to any other waitress.

You felt dizzy, the bottles kept piling up and your body slid against Koby’s tiny frame, if it wasn’t for the alcohol you would feel quite embarrassed. Your nice intern was trying to hold you upright but it was a lost battle. The moment you were outweighing him, pushing him out of his chair, he had no other option than to drop your weight onto the table, with a loud thud you tumbled down onto the sticky table right next to your glasses and empty bowl ment for peanuts.

Under your hands you could feel the rough wood, the oak table smelling like spilled beer and ginger, someone must have dropped a bowl with it and the fragrance never got out. You couldn’t feel your feet, you were sure they were under you with your high heels unfastened to give peace to your swollen ankles were also dangling off your toes. Koby was truly a sweetheart. 

“You should stop drinking, ma’am.” If it wasn't for Koby being so close your brain would probably drown him out, your fuzzy mind had only one man occupying it. 

“No.” Dragging your arm to grip a bottle with some alcohol left you spotted on the table, you moved to pour the rest into your glass. “Not yet.” Taking big gulps you ended with an empty glass once more. You wanted to drown your own sorrow from this pitiful night, ending your fantasy you kept to yourself about the nights spent here. Paradise well deserved and well destroyed, gone forever, you ruined it for yourself, you should have stuck to your visits only at night time.

“Don’t worry. I will take care of her.” 

“Oh. I don-” “Go.”

You could hear shuffling next to you but you could not pay attention to it, your head feeling too heavy to lift it and turn it.

“Good night.” The sweet voice sounded right by you.

“Night.” You blinked absently, almost unaware of what was going around you. Was Koby leaving? Damn, maybe you should have stopped drinking a long time ago. How were you actually going to get home?

Mustering enough strength and actual thought behind the action, you slowly got up, turning your head just for nausea to overwhelm you, slamming you back on the table with rough huff.

“Carefull.” Oh, you knew this voice, you knew this man, scratch the previous statement you should have drunk more to forget, your mind was playing tricks on you.It was Sanji, the sweet voice, of course it belonged to him.

“What’s with the sour face? Should I make you something delicious so you would grace me with your smile again?” You didn’t even know of the grimace on your face but you were sure Sanji just chucked it to the amount of alcohol you consumed. His laugh made you lighter though and this time you were sure it was not the alcohol.

Why was he looking at you? You were not so keen on his admiring gaze right now.

“It’s nothing really.”

The pause was rough, the air hanging heavily, smelling of beer, oil and sweat, it was nothing you were used to in his restaurant. It always smelled nice, fragrant aromas mixing together with the calm ambience of the place, a secret paradise for you long gone. It made your nose burn, making your stomach turn… or was it the alcohol? Gosh, you had a problem.

You couldn’t hold it anymore, be it your fate slapping you after speaking out, you couldn't care less anymore. “What is she to you?” 

“Hm?” Turning his head so he would see who you were talking about, his gaze set on the beauty serving on of the interns left behind while laughing seductively before setting her hand on his shoulder, the young man at the contact blushed violently. 

“Oh, Nami-swan.” You hated how her name left his mouth, the loving tone irritating you even more than you anticipated. So you decided to change the question, the coward in you creeping out. Maybe not knowing what she was to him was better.

“What am I to you?” The apples of your cheeks were burning, you felt like a teenager again waiting for your crush to reject you. This was not what you wanted, not at all, you never wanted for this to happen. You were happy in sweet ignorance, only living in a sort of fantasy each night you spent here with him.

“Huh?” 

Where was the liquid courage when you needed it?

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” You sheepishly looked up, too embarrassed to fully face him. This was it. All in or all out. 

“Oh.” His face was painted in a red blush, little droplets of blood now openly running from his nose.

“Yes!” 

His loud voice boomed, stopping some of the customers in their conversations and causing them to turn their heads to you, the waitress herself, Nami, giving him a questioning look.

Gosh, this was even more embarrassing. 

But so worth it.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 24 By saying something stupid like…

Chapter 24 of Sugar

A/N- Birthday post! Also sorry for what’s going to happen in this chapter ;)

Warning- Swearing, ANGST!!, FLUFF, spoilers, talks of miscarriage, SLOW BURN, heavy pining, talks of alcohol, drinking and smoking, long chapter

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- Chapter 202, and the beginning portion of 208 of the Manga

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

You remember the day that the power that coursed through your veins changed from a running creek to raging rapids.

Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, it was so rejuvenating! To your soul, to the very being you were. It was almost like before you came into full realization of your cursed technique you weren’t breathing, and the moment you unlocked your full capability you took breath in your lungs for the first time!

You really don’t know how you lived crippled like that for so long. You probably would have lived your entire life restricted if you had not left Satoru, home, and everything you knew. And if you never took Yuki Tsukumo’s offer.

You truly owe what you became to her. She kind of birthed you in a sense.

She wasn’t there the exact moment you were reborn, you had been separated from her and Todo and driven off the edge of a tall cliff that hung over a vicious ocean by a clan of curse users. But it was her training that accompanied you deep in the depths of the dark waters.

Breathe. Breathe…

Wait…you can’t breathe or you’ll fucking drown! So what do you do?

The waves are violent and thrashing you around making it impossible to focus, and your technique only truly works if you’re focused. So what can you do?

Die? Let this water drag you down a dark void?

It doesn’t sound so bad, it’s not like you were wanted all that much anyway. By your parents at least and by your brother who left you last year.

Suguru loves you. Nanako and Mimiko are growing to love you day by day when you talk with them on the phone. Todo tolerates you, and Yuki cares deeply for you, she wouldn’t have offered to waste her time training you or stuck around for as long as she has if she didn’t.

But you still are unwanted. So how bad can not existing be? Your lungs will fill with water and you'll cry with the need to breathe, minutes will feel like hours as you drown to death, but how could you keep cursing this world and your family by existing as a weak link?

You’ll close your eyes, and the pain won’t change as death is stealing your life, but then the weak link won't exist.

Just…keep your eyes closed…

“You are strong.”

Master?

“What they think of you doesn’t define you. You are not a weak link. You are a force to be reckoned with, never forget that.”

You open your eyes and don’t see her, you just see a school of angelfish swimming past you while her words sound in your head.

“Be the monster they think you are and never shame away from what you were given.”

As her words hit your heart and start pushing away that willingness to let yourself die, there in the distance you catch a light flicker on. It’s small but bright and it swims towards you, slowly taking shape the closer it gets.

At first, you can’t identify what it is you see coming at you, but then when it finally reaches you, you see that it’s a ball of fire, and inside it are darker flames that are shaped into a menacing figure you can’t help but admire.

“Never lose your heart, y/n.”

Never…

The ball of fire disappears proving to be a figment of your imagination to push you to ask yourself why you're letting them win so easily.

You can’t let them. You’ve been taught better, you’re stronger than that. A hundred times stronger. So what are you doing?

You have to get out and fight back.

Besides what kind of elemental manipulator would you be if you died by drowning in water you can control?

You probably only have seconds of air left in your lungs before you start gasping for more, but those seconds mean nothing now as you filter your cursed energy through the water around you, and pass it through miles of heavy water, before you pull down the water down until your head pokes out and you can breathe in fresh air again.

The group of curse users that had been after you are hastily descending the hill to finish you off or make sure you’re dead, but they don’t see you in the water because of the cloudy night. They don’t even notice the waterline at shore pulling back as if a tsunami is about to strike down. They don’t pay attention to the wind quickly picking up speed as it rushes past them.

They do feel the earth below them start to rumble when your cursed energy seeps through the ocean ground and stretches out miles you never could reach before. When they finally step off the hill they notice a fireline come to life and give light to the fact that the water is missing from shore and drawing back further out, before the flames do the impossible by crawling over the water.

The ground begins to tremble more violently to the point the earth around them is cracking, and finally, they question what's escalating. “What’s happening?” You hear one of them panic.

The wind starts to howl, and the cracks begin to glow as you leak fire through them without having them notice just yet.

“It’s her,” one of their voices trembles as they figure it out, considering that Mother Nature isn’t capable of doing what’s happening at this very moment.

“Eyes in the water!” One of them finally thinks.

And when their gazes follow the fire trail out into the water they finally spot you miles out, creepily walking out of the water that draws past you.

Fire basks your arms completely, and flames cascade down your hands to fuel the cracks spreading out like wildfire, and beautifully but menacingly mix with the gusts of air that start to swirl around your feet and gain height.

“Kill her!” One of them bellows as they point at you slowly creeping forward.

The cursed energy running out of your stomach travels throughout every inch of your body and for the first time it strikes your heart, making it jolt, and making you fear that it somehow stopped—Then again you wouldn't be standing upright or be as coherent as you are now, but you do have that sudden fear until this never before sense of power strikes your body and awakens a part of you that you didn’t know existed.

It’s so bizarre, yet it's a satisfying rush that gives new life to the very technique you were born with. Intensifying its power to its maximum degree, and changing something within you that you don’t notice yet, but the group of curse users do.

It isn’t possible, but to them, it seems that way. To them it looks like red-orange fire leaks through your eyes and burns away the very eye color you were born with to take over and settle in your eyes and show everyone who looked at you how powerful you are and how menacing you can be.

Nevertheless, they don’t scare away, they stand their ground, so you decide to play with what you just got by right away picking up the wind's speed, and then fueling the fire's intensity. You widen the cracks in the ground while also creating more. And lastly, you stop walking toward them and begin to smirk before you throw your hands up as you raise the water behind you hundreds of feet into the sky, once and for all showing your change in power.

——

That was the day everything changed for the better.

“So dismantling his domain huh?” You greet Yuki without looking back at her, you recognized her loud footsteps from the moment they started to echo as she approached.

“It’s the only way to defeat Kenjaku,” she says as she sits back on the lounging chair.

You lean over the balcony and just mindlessly watch the passing clouds in the sky with an unlit cigarette in between your fingers as you debate whether to give into your vices and prove that you’re stress goes beyond just worry for this upcoming fight, or leave the cigarette unused to prove to yourself that the thought of his sacrifice doesn’t mean a thing.

“What, you're not going to try and stop me from being stupid?” Yuki interjects shamelessly. “Or is that fight only reserved for the men you love?”

Pft!

Tsk. No.

Her words are stupid, silly.

“No,” you laugh and light the cigarette. “You’re stupid I don’t love him. He’s…” why did you hesitate? “He’s my friend. He’s a good friend.”

“Mhmm,” Yuki hums sassily as she knows you too well.

“And no,” you interject abruptly. “I won’t fight you.”

You turn around to face her and lean back against the railing.

“Because I trust you,” you continue explaining with a genuine look painted on your face. “Every move you make that day I’ll trust with my whole heart.”

The corner of her lips spread to a smile before she puts sunglasses on and leans back to relax, as usually does. It’s why people call her lazy, and even if it is partially true, the other reason is that she does a lot that people don’t see. Her times off are well deserved.

“Besides it's not like you’re planning to sacrifice yourself now are you?” You ask and draw in a short drag of your cigarette.

“Well,” Yuki slowly rolls out. “Who knows really? As much as we can plan when the time comes things change. We have to adapt to what’s thrown at us. If that means making the ultimate move then I’ll make it, no hesitation.”

You keep the cigarette in between your lips and draw in a long and deep drag now.

“Would you?” She redirects.

You leave your gaze on her for a moment before you drop your eyes to the ground and pull the cigarette out to drop the ash on the floor whilst you stay quiet even if the question needs no time to ponder over.

“If the need arises yes,” you share quietly just out of shame for one thing. “I’d much rather give my daughter and my students a chance for an easier life even if it means I’m not in it.” You sigh and pull the cigarette towards your lips. “Satori will grow up resenting me for leaving her alone, but at least she won’t be tormented by one evil.”

You expected to cry as those heartbreaking words came out of your mouth. When you think about your daughter having to live without you any other time tears never fail to well in your eyes as your heart can’t handle the agony, but right now maybe it’s the fact that you’re comforted by Yuki’s presence, or just enveloped by the seriousness of the moment, but you don’t cry. You just smoke the death stick in between your lips. So maybe that’s it too.

“And if it happens,” you add just above a whisper. “If I’m the one that dies that day…free my brother, will you?” You ask not because he’s the strongest and the sorcerer world as you know it needs him, but because your world needs him.

“Of course, that’s the plan,” she fails to understand the true meaning behind your question.

“No,” you argue and raise your head to share a pressing look. “Satori will need him. I left him in charge of her if anything happens. So please if something happens to me, get him out as quickly as you can.”

Yuki lifts her head and pushes her glasses down her nose to make sure that you see her brown eyes on you as she assures you. “I will.”

You let out a deep breath of relief and finally break away from your spot to walk behind her.

“Can I braid your hair?” You ask.

“Not if you have that cigarette lit. What if you burn my hair?” She remarks, making you pout and walk over to kill the cigarette on the ashtray before you return behind her.

“Sit up,” you command as you sanitize your hands so they don’t feel so dirty after that cigarette.

Yuki groans in protest but she lazily pushes herself up to leave you access to her long blond hair.

“You know,” you share thoughtfully while you carefully gather her hair in your hands. “When I was young, my mother always told me that doing your hair, putting on makeup, and dressing nicely was a weapon. They think of you as an accessory, she said, and that’s what gives you an advantage.” You scoff softly and start to carefully knead her hair together from the top of her head.

“I used to think she was wise, but as I grew up her words don’t hold as much inspiration anymore. They’re quite sad,” you admit. “Given she’s still at home, living a miserable life beside a man who doesn’t love her anymore.”

“Well,” Yuki sighs as she drapes one leg over the other. “Given her situation, I guess those words mean something to her. She expected you to live the same way, and wanted to share her knowledge the only way she knew how to.”

You often thought of it like that. When you were younger of course, but now, maybe it’s because of all the resentment clouding your head, but those words are terrible advice, why would she want you to live like that too?

Why wouldn’t she fight for something better for you? Sure you use your femininity to your advantage, the world dominated by men demands it, but there’s a difference between her advice and the choices you make.

“I suppose,” you whisper in comprehension. “But why wouldn’t she say, like, get all pretty if you want to, don’t do it for anyone but yourself, you know? If that makes you happy then do it.”

Yuki shrugs and mumbles, “you were raised differently.”

“Yeah, I guess we were. But I still wish I could be like, I’m hot with all the pretty getup and I’m hot without it too. And thousands of people think so too.”

“And your face is worth thousands of bucks,” Yuki adds on to your case.

You grin. “Boom! Exactly!” You exclaim and laugh softly.

“Now,” Yuki blurts with a sudden burst of energy that slightly catches you off guard since she was just so calm. “Why not let yourself love again?”

You sigh deeply through your nose, making her snicker and sit up straighter, causing her hair to slip out of your fingers.

“Hold still,” you hiss and grab her hair to yank her head back.

“I mean the guy is your type, he’s obviously head over heels for you, and you’ve grieved long enough,” she continues to say, bringing irritation to your once peaceful mind. “Plus Geto told you to find someone else, so I don’t understand your hesitance. Just jump his bones already.” She snickers cheekily.

You let her hair go this time and walk to the side of her chair to look at her with a judgy look. “Jump his bones?” You question and she laughs.

“Want me to get dirty or what?” She teases.

You roll your eyes and return to your spot to finish braiding half of her hair.

“What? Are you going to be single forever?” She follows up with another question in your silence.

“Yuki,” you mumble seriously.

“Tsk.” She flicks her wrist. “If you’re going to say it’s too soon, yeah I’m aware of when he died, but,” she goes serious, losing the lightheartedness from her tone. “You can mourn him however long you want y/n, but the truth of the matter is that he’ll still be dead.”

Your breath hitches and your irritation quickly transforms into anger.

“So why should you deny yourself something good because of it? We as sorcerers don’t have a promise of a long life you know?”

You part your lips to contradict her, but there’s some truth behind her words you don’t want to admit out loud, so instead you let your anger dwindle and bring up another fact. “You know what I’ve done…I don’t deserve any kind of kindness that love brings.”

“So what? Is he innocent?” She rebuttals. “It doesn’t matter how bloody your hands are, y/n—”

“It does to me. I don’t deserve being loved like that. Especially not by someone as good-hearted as him.” you cut her off while you collect the end of her half-braid and the rest of her hair into a ponytail.

Yuki feels you finish before you let her know and peers back to pierce her scolding glare into you. “You can’t let your fear of losing someone control you,” she says without needing you to say it. She sees it in you. “You’ll end up alone and that’s what you fear the most isn’t it?”

You part your lips, but you’re left too stunned to talk.

Behind your own protests, the fear of feeling that emptiness again terrifies you. Suguru’s death made you feel empty for so long, and losing the child you were expecting only worsened the fact. You don’t want to feel it again. So even if it means yearning forever, you told yourself that you won’t put yourself through that again, and you won’t put anyone through that pain either.

You don’t get to tell Yuki that though because someone with light and bare footsteps approaches the balcony. And neither of you need to look back to know that it’s Tengen.

“Well if it isn’t you, Star killer,” you greet them spitefully.

Tengen hums and walks around Yuki and you, to be able to see your faces.

“You know,” they interject calmly. “Ever since you’ve gotten here all you’ve ever given me is judgment. That’s a lot coming from a woman who’s drowning in the blood of hundreds of people.”

You focus on one set of eyes and narrow your gaze as you press a hand on your hip.

They probably expected you to fold over in grief, but you instead chuckle. You genuinely laugh. Which doesn’t stun Tengen.

“Yes, I am,” you admit with a hint of smugness and no hesitation or an ounce of remorse. You’ve felt bad before, but that was long ago and has long been resolved when you chose your path in life and decided to not live in regret out of fear of hating yourself.

That’s why you’re smug and certain with every word. “I embraced evil. I’m a monster. I accept it and I don’t regret what I did. We’re sides of the same coin, so I don’t judge you for that, I don’t hate you for that. You failed to save my friend, and you wanted to kill my mentor. That’s why I hate you.” You smile sweetly.

“And yet you’re here,” they point out the damn obvious.

You nod stiffly. “You have the door to open my brother's prison. Helping you could mean saving the Jujutsu world as we know it, of course, I’m here. You’re not planning to kill me, are you? An act of justice?”

Tengen scoffs and drops their head. “No,” they say. “You’re my guard. And I, unlike you, don't judge.”

You huff and feign a smile before you lean towards one side to then walk over and sit beside Yuki to lay back and rest too.

“What do you want, Tengen?” Yuki questions their presence. “We’ve brainstormed all we needed to for today.”

Tengen softly claps their hands and a creepy smile spreads on their pale rectangular face. “I've come to invite you both to a nice bar date the night after tomorrow. I’ve already let the Death painting womb—.”

“Choso,” you correct them. “His name is Choso. He’s going to risk his life for you, you might as well say his name.”

Tengen clears their throat and reiterates themselves. “I let Choso know. I just needed to let you know, so wear something fancy. Black tie is the dress code.”

It’s kind of random, you never thought they’d be one to be considerate considering he’s a higher being, but you do like this idea.

“What’s the occasion?” Yuki probes in confusion. “Fattening us up before Kenjaku kills us or what?”

Tengen lets out a deep sigh and for the second time, they sound annoyed at Yuki. “No, it’s simply a nice evening. So you can all enjoy yourselves while you’re here.”

You smile as you slide on some expensive shades over your eyes so they don’t see you closing them. “Well, I for one like the idea. It gives me an excuse to wear the gown I was supposed to wear for the Gala.”

“Ah, is that the excuse you’re saying?” Yuki taunts you, making your lip curl to a scowl.

“Shut up. I'll burn your hair.” You grimace your threat and make her laugh before you both can go on ignoring Tengen to enjoy your evening side by side.

——

*LATER*

“Guys! Guys!” You shout as you burst into the room with a happy grin on your lips. “Look what Ijichi just brought me from home!” You exclaim and show off a magazine that Yuki and Choso can’t see from where they’re sitting.

“Remind me,” Yuki interjects curiously. “Who’s Ijichi again?”

“He’s, uh, a head manager at the school,” you remind Yuki as you walk to the table she’s at. “He was my only underclassman when I was in my second year.”

“Ah right? The geeky guy.”

“Mhmm. Anyway.” You beam and reach the table to slam down the magazine in between Choso and Yuki. “My new manager sent me the December issue of the magazine I’m featured in before its release date!”

Both Choso and Yuki lean over the table to take a better look at what you’re showing off.

“It’s me in a shoot inspired by the Birth Venus!” You explain the cover you're on.

“Hot,” Yuki immediately compliments you with a faint smirk. “I thought you were retiring though?”

You plop yourself down and fold your arms over the tabletop to lean over with your chin resting on your arms. “Yeah, well the editor of this magazine is a friend of mine and he wanted me to be on the cover, so when he pitched the idea I couldn’t resist. Plus Kinji, Kira, and the twins pushed me to take the job, so I did it,” you muse as you admire the cover and avoid looking at Choso’s reaction as he keeps studying the cover as if he’s trying to really look at every single detail.

One because you can’t let your heart swoon and get all flustered by how soft his eyes are as he examines the cover, and two, you’re still upset at him for his choice at yesterday's meeting.

“You look great with that black wig,” Yuki points out to another version of you in the same photo but depicted as one of the other figures from the painting.

“Aw really?” You coo and touch your chest. “Should I dye my hair black?”

“No,” Choso blurts. “Your hair color is fine as it is.”

Yuki holds your gaze and tries to show a teasing smile, but you look away and clench your jaw to fight the giddy emotions trying to take over.

“Your eyes,” Choso continues to add. “They’re a different color. Why?”

You swallow thickly and only spare a glance his way. “It’s harder landing jobs with my eyes the color they are,” you explain to him with your eyes focused on the magazine. “And it’s just not all that common, so to avoid making things hard, I wear contacts of the eye color my eyes were before.”

“Oh, well, the color of your eyes now is more than fine, you shouldn’t change it,” he says bluntly without an ounce of timidness.

But you do grow timid and clear your throat while you bite back a smile. “Thanks,” you mutter.

“You look…” Choso clears his throat. “Very beautiful. Congratulations on your achievement.”

Your face immediately burns hot and your heart skips a beat before it starts to pound. “Uh, thank you, Choso,” you manage to say completely collected.

Yuki hides her teasing smile by picking up the magazine and flipping through the pages.

“Uh did you hear Yaga’s dead?” You try to fill the silence to avoid talking to Choso or letting him talk to you. “He was killed by the old bag of bones Gakuganji.”

“I heard,” Yuki mumbles with her attention wavered. “I didn’t expect anyone else to do it honestly. The higher-ups are all slimy pieces of shit.”

“You said it,” you agree.

Her phone then goes off and she jumps off her seat to take it out of her back pocket. “I’m going to take this,” she excuses herself as she drags herself away with a small smile. “Have fun,” she directs at you before she closes the door behind her, leaving Choso and you alone in a silence you fill with tension due to the emotions you can’t turn off.

You could actually sit in silence since you pick up the magazine and go through it, but you’ve barely said a word to Choso since yesterday, even now you can barely look at him, he can’t last another day with you obviously upset at him.

“Y/N, you’re upset,” he breaks the silence.

You lift the magazine higher up to cover your face completely and mutter to the pages with pouted lips. “It’s your life, you can throw your life away if you want to.”

“I’m…” he pauses and sighs before he leans over and pushes the magazine down with his finger so you can look at him and know that he’s being sincere. “I’m not throwing my life away. If it happens I’m sacrificing my life away for my—”

“For your brothers, I know,” you cut him off and shut the magazine with force before you throw it on the table and continue with a narrowed look and anger laced in your tone. “But do you really think Yuji will see it that way after finally understanding what you are to each other? Do you really think your brothers would want that? Don’t you think they want you to fight and live instead of fight and die?”

You don’t shy away from being honest, after all, you've been building up that argument.

It leaves Choso speechless both from disbelief to your emotions so boldly shared and expressed, and to what you’re saying. He has to take a minute before coming up with an argument. “I hope my brothers will understand.”

You scoff and drop your head, making him continue to try and make you see it his way.

“Yuji will understand. Besides, it’s not like he’s known me for long. It’s been 12 days since we met. If I die I’ll only be a fleeting memory to him. He doesn’t need me really. No one does.”

Your pout disappears, your eyebrows slowly ease from their pinched hold, and your shoulders fall as you let out the deep breath you were holding in with your anger as his words sink into your heart.

You don’t regret your harshness, you don’t regret your anger. You still are upset, his words don’t ease that. No matter how much you try to fight it, your anger just doesn’t disappear, but right now you feel pity and sadness that he thinks that because it’s not true.

“Listen to me Choso,” you speak softer. “Yuji will need his big brother. Now more than ever. Especially in times after this is over, in the down times. He’ll need you. And the rest will too.”

Choso draws out a shaky breath and his brown eyes gleam with tears.

“And I…” you pause and catch your heart before it can say what it wants.

Yet you need him to understand, you need him to see things your way, and you need to fight so your fear doesn’t come true. “…I’ll need my friend.”

His breath hitches and he sits up straighter.

“I’ve lost too many friends. I don’t want to lose another…so at least fight a bit more to just stay alive.”

He holds your gaze with his eyes slowly widening, his lips slightly parted, and his cheeks burning as a blush grazes on them.

You can’t know what’s happening inside him, but he does feel like his heart stops and his breath gets caught in his throat while it all goes quiet, and only you exist in this vast space before you disappear too and all he sees is a few seconds of darkness. When he blinks though, he's suddenly somewhere else; outside, surrounded by a sea of grass that looks gold by the sun's gentle light casting over the earth. There’s tall trees scattered around, and a gentle and warm breeze blows past him.

He hears laughter and when he follows it he sees his little brother Yuji with blankets under one arm and a girl with long dark hair sitting on his shoulder. He can’t see her face but in the back of his head, he knows it’s your daughter, Satori. Which is odd because the only time he’s seen her is the other day behind a screen when you introduced them.

Yet he doesn’t dare question any of it further. He accepts what’s happening because he feels happy, comforted, and he feels something overwhelmingly positive, something new but welcoming, something that fills him with a never-ending warmth, something like love. It's not a new feeling, he's always felt all these emotions because he knew he loved his brothers, but right now it’s heightened to an astounding amount.

“Choso,” he hears your voice, soft and oozing with honey.

“Hm?” He probes and drifts his eyes ahead to see your white hair gleaming brightly because of the sun's light bouncing off your hair. He sees the skirt of your soft pink dress flowing gently because of the breeze, and he notices you holding something as you walk down the hill.

“Look who’s awake,” you say excitedly before you turn around and show off a little baby that looked to be a few months old, with white hair like yours, and wearing a pink sundress that coordinated with yours.

“Why don’t you say hi to Daddy,” you tell the baby with a happy smile. “Hi, Daddy.”

The baby girl glances at you and smiles, causing his heart to swoon and for an awe-struck smile of his own to tug on his lips as he watches you and…his baby he shared with you.

There was nothing more he was assured of than the fact that the baby in your arms was his and yours. You shared a good and happy life and a little blessing.

“She said it!” You exclaim delusionally. “Say it again, hi Daddy.”

The baby's eyes stay on Choso and she coos, making him smile brightly.

“Good evening, my girl,” he greets the baby, and she squeals before she throws her arms out and reaches for him.

Without an ounce of hesitation, Choso picks up his pace and reaches out to take the baby. However, before he could wrap his hands around her he blinks and suddenly it's all gone and he’s back in the parlor room with you sitting across from him with a black kimono on and no baby in your arms.

It was all just a fake memory…

One he wanted to come true more than anything.

“Choso?” You call out in concern and a hint of annoyance as he looks like he suddenly spaced out.

“Hm?” He snaps his attention to you.

You narrow your gaze to study him for a second, but you don’t find anything concerning so you sit back and relax, failing to realize that he was just stuck in a fake memory triggered by a sudden realization he had of you.

“Did you hear me?” You query with worry.

“Yes. And I’ll try,” he assures you, making you let out a small breath that makes your anger slowly fizzle out and a faint smile grows on your lips.

“That’s all I ask,” you say softly . “Now,” you change the subject as the room finally loses the tension you had filled it with. “I should let you know that Kinji and Kirara called me, they’ve met with Itadori and Fushiguro.”

“Oh. That’s good,” he says and sits back to tuck his hands in his sleeves. “Did they agree to help?”

You smile wider and nod. “Yeah. After a bit of fun back and forth they said they agreed.”

Choso sighs and nods. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

You pick up the magazine to return to the page you were on before you got interrupted. “You should text Itadori,” you suggest. “It doesn't have to be a long conversation, just ask him how he’s doing. And then ask him what he has planned for the day. I don’t know, something simple.”

“Do you think…he’ll appreciate it?” Choso asks with concern.

You glance over at him and nod. “Yeah. I’m sure he would. I always liked it when my brother checked up on me.”

Choso lets out a deep breath and nods before he pulls his phone out of his pocket and stares at the screen.

“Could you help me?” He asks with his normal deep voice, but there was a way he said his question that makes you grin.

“Of course,” you don’t hesitate to give in and put the magazine down to quickly fall beside him and help.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Feeling nervous about the way you look and the thought of walking into that cantina date is something that hasn’t happened in a long time.

You tend to get nervous sometimes, more so when you were younger. It was a part of growing up, but as you grew up and grew to be more confident, feeling nauseous and self-conscious about the way you look went away.

Maybe it is because you went on dates with the same man for 11 years of your life, or because when you worked in your public job as a model you just didn’t care what non-sorcerers had to say or what they thought about you. But tonight, ever since you started getting ready for the cantina date Tengen hosted, your nerves are just eating you up. It’s annoying and persistent!

You almost want to avoid walking in the cantina when you stop outside the double doors, but what else are you going to do in this isolated place? Stay in your room and watch a movie or read a book?

You can do that any other night, so after a deep breath you slide the doors open and walk in to see a pretty small and casual cantina with a jukebox in one corner, a stage with a piano, and…in front of the long bar Choso steals all your attention, and you realize how much trouble you’re in as you notice how absolutely breathtaking he looks in a black and white suit that all gets tied together with a sloppy bowtie.

He looks so gentle, and his already rich brown eyes only gleam a much more intense rich brown in that formal suit tempting you to risk it all and crush the wall you’re putting up. He entices you without as much as trying.

But that’s it you almost give in, you remain collected no matter how majestic he looks.

However, him on the other hand, his rich brown eyes found you the moment the doors opened, and when your eyes landed on him it was like he was seeing you for the first time; he inhales deeply and straightens up while his eyes widen, a fluttering goes off in his stomach, and his heart begins to pound in his chest to the point he thought you could notice.

He always liked looking at you, he found peace in watching you, but right now as you gleamed like a divine star in your long black gown adorned with thousands of tiny rhinestones, he felt like he wasn’t worthy enough to be looking at you. It's like you were a goddess who just came from above.

And he didn’t know much about gods and goddesses, but he knew you were one now.

“Y/N Gojo, I’m glad you could make it,” Tengen’s greeting startles you, causing you to clutch onto your chest with your gloved hand and look at them in annoyance.

“You fucking scared me, prick,” you sneer, “you need to stop appearing like that.”

Tengen smiles with amusement. “Jumpy? It’s only the same people you’ve been with for the past 4 days.”

You glare at them and finally depart from the entrance, but not without muttering under your breath. “Why don’t you shove that greeting up your ass.”

“I heard that.”

“Good,” you quip and look back at Choso with a genuine smile. “Choso. Good evening.”

Said man swallows thickly and clears his throat. “Good evening, y/n.”

You stop before him and discreetly study him from up close, noticing how well the suit hugged his muscles, and how the neckline hugs his veiny and muscular neck before you force your focus on his sloppy bow tie. “Uh, can I fix your bow?” You ask first just in case he doesn’t want your help.

Choso glances down at his bow and brushes his fingers over it, noticing now that it’s messed up. “Oh,” he mouths. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

You flash him a happy smile before you take a step closer to the point you can feel each other's breaths unfurl over your flesh, and you can feel the warmth of his lips tempting you for just a taste as you begin to help him.

“Uh,” Choso breathes out. “Is that…the gown you were going to wear for the gala thing you mentioned.”

You stop fixing his bow tie to first glance at his lips before you lock eyes and smile. “Yeah, actually. I didn’t want to let it go to waste so I said why not wear it for an hour or two tonight.”

Choso holds your gaze and nods softly before his eyes flicker down to your lips, and then they take in the long gloves that match your black dress, before he lastly looks at the slits on the sides of your dress that show off your soft-looking skin, and make his mind run wild. That's why he quickly drops his gaze to the floor and speaks sweetly. “Well, you look very…beautiful in it…is that okay to say?”

Your breath hitches and your face and body grow incredibly hot, but you manage to play it off with a giggle. “Yeah,” you assure him. “That’s totally fine. Thank you Choso.”

You focus back on fixing his bow tie and avoid looking into his eyes as you bring up a compliment of your own. “And you can pull off a suit my friend.” You laugh nervously, and out of their own will, your eyes fly to his lips before you meet his gaze. “You look very handsome.”

And he did. He absolutely pulls off the suit with his buns and those dreamy brown eyes of his. He looked just breathtakingly sexy and you want nothing more but to grab him and kiss him. He made your heart swoon and sigh like a love-struck fool.

You could just stare at him all day, the sight of him dressed so formally is so addicting. And you know deep inside it’s not good to feel so strongly for him, you and your mind are trying to fight against every aroused feeling filling your heart and body, but having him right before you looking as beautiful as he does makes you feel yourself losing the fight.

“Oh,” he gasps and grows a deep red. “Thank you. Uh, Tengen loaned me the suit.”

“Hm, well they picked the right one,” you continue to fluster him before you gently pat on his fixed bow tie. “All better.”

Choso glances at your finished work and nods. “Thank you. Now,” he clears his throat and steals one more glance at your painted lips before he turns to his side. “Do you want to sit while we wait for Tsukumo?”

Before you can agree Choso pulls out your seat for you.

“Oh wow, look at you,” you praise him with a beaming grin while you slide on the seat. “Thank you, Cho. Now,” you shift your attention to Tengen walking behind the bar. “Tengen two tequilas, please. And do them half. I don't want to scare off my friend here.”

“You know,” Choso interjects as he takes a seat beside you. “I don’t even think I can get drunk.”

You look away from Tengen preparing what you asked for to look at Choso smugly. “Oh, we can try. We can definitely try. Just,” you sigh and look ahead with a grin. “Don’t get me drunk. The last time I got drunk I cried and had to be helped to bed.”

“If you puke you’ll clean it up,” Tengen throws at you, making you laugh.

“Don’t worry as long as you don’t give me any of Miguel’s concoctions I’m good, one time,” you tell Choso. “Miguel made this very good but intoxicating drink, I was sick for days. I almost got alcohol poisoning…” you trail off and a frown flickers on your face as you recall flashes of those days with your family that’s mostly all gone now.

Choso notices but he doesn’t get to question it before Tengen puts the small cups out before you, causing your smile to reappear on your features.

“Now,” you change the atmosphere back to an amusing one. “You can drink it fast, or by sips. Whatever you prefer, but personally I drink it in one go.”

Choso looks at the clear drink with skepticism before he picks it up.

“Lime?” You offer as Tengen puts some out for you. “It helps for after you drink.”

“Do you take it?”

You snort. “Honey, I should not be saying this so proudly, but I have been drinking since I was a teenager, I’m a pro.” You laugh and pick up the drink to push the little cup towards him. “Cheers to…us. Our friendship.” You smile sweetly.

Choso doesn’t hesitate to clink his cup against yours to that, a bit too harshly may you add, but he only wasted a few drops, it wasn’t hard enough to break the cup or spill the entire drink. Luckily.

“Now go!” You exclaim and slam the bottom of the cup against the surface before you part your lips and swiftly swallow the strong tequila in one go.

Choso on the other hand manages to swallow it all quickly, but as it goes down his throat it burns and he immediately expresses that by scrunching his nose in disgust and coughing.

“How do you drink that shit?” He asks hoarsely, making you grab his arm and laugh—“I don’t find it funny.” He grumbles.

You laugh harder and mindlessly lean towards him.

“Another round,” you say between laughs. “This time,” you tell Choso. “Suck on the lime.”

Choso doesn’t argue against another drink, he just sighs deeply and takes the lime. “All right I’m trusting you.” He says.

You slide your hand off his arm and lean back to your space. “The taste won't go away, but it grows on you. If not then your tastes lie somewhere else.”

Tengen returns your cups with more alcohol, but before you can pick them up this time, the doors open and Yuki finally joins the party.

“You started without me,” she complains.

You peer back and huff. “Yeah, you’re late. Don’t worry though it won’t take you long to catch up.”

Choso gets out of his seat and pulls out Yuki’s seat for her just like he did for you.

“You look nice, Tsukumo,” Choso compliments her.

Yuki grins. “Thanks and you don’t look bad yourself.”

When she sits down she leans forward to take a look at you. “You look very elegant.”

You clasp your gloved hands together and flash her a sweet smile. “Thank you, master. You look quite breathtaking yourself.”

“Always.”

You forget how similar her personality is to Satoru’s. It can be annoying a lot of the time.

“Anyway,” you bring the attention back to the bar. “Catch up or get left behind.”

As soon as you say that Tengen doesn’t falter and leaves a small shot glass in front of Yuki.

“Okay, before we drink,” she says and turns to face Choso and you. “I just want to announce that Maki Zen’in annihilated the Zen’in clan.”

Your eyes widen with shock, and your lips express your glee.

“Naoya Zen’in included,” she adds. “We should toast to that.”

You laugh breathlessly and pick up your cup. “You know,” you share with growing pride for the girl without cursed energy. “Shoko called me this morning and said she needed to tell me something, we got distracted talking about other things so she never told me. I bet this was it.” You laugh again and nod slowly in comprehension. “The other clans must be fuming.”

“Why?” Choso asks innocently, unaware of the disdain for the disgrace that people born with no cursed energy are in sorcerer families—“I thought you said your family didn’t get along with the Zen’in clan?”

You put your cup down and sigh. “They don’t, but having a clan be killed by a woman with no cursed energy is…how can I put this…it’s a catastrophe.”

Choso scratches his head in confusion but doesn’t dare dive into that conversation.

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuki cuts in as she slaps her hands on the tabletop. “They’re gone. And so is y/n’s husband that never was.” She snickers. “Let’s cheers to that, and Maki for her achievement.”

You pick up your cup and the three of you come together to clink your cups together with smiles not formed by the toast, but instead the joy of the simple moment before it’s completely washed over by overwhelming humor as Yuki and you catch Choso’s bad reaction to the strong drink.

“Careful,” Yuki manages to muster after she calms down. “Give y/n any more drinks and she’ll hop on that piano and she’ll give you a show.”

You scoff and roll your eyes. “It happened one time…three times,” you mutter with embarrassment as you recall the memory of years ago.

“One time when we were visiting the States,” Yuki doesn’t get the hint. “We came across a bar mainly used by soldiers, we got drunk because we were having so much fun, and this one,” she points at you. “Had all the soldiers eating out of her hand with her skills on the piano.”

You drop your head on your hand and groan. “Ten years,” you grumble. “Ten years of lessons because my mother said it was good for a woman to have more elegant skills besides fighting. I had to show it off.” You lift your head and only show off a faint smile before you hide it by taking a long sip of the drink Tengen made for you.

“You both often share stories of your past. How long were you traveling together?” Choso asks as he sits back to try and get a good look at Yuki and you.

“A year,” you and Yuji answer simultaneously.

“She showed me part of the world,” you muse with admiration. “Some would say we were bumming it. But we just had fun along the way.”

“Yeah and then you had to go and get married,” Yuki almost says with a hint of annoyance.

You lean towards her to point out a fact. “We still traveled after that, Master.”

Yuki shrugs lazily. “We never had the same fun though,” she whines, a truth you had yet to hear.

You stick out your tongue and then roll your head away to look at your drink. Silence comes through, but you don’t let it last long.

“We’re going to play a game, okay? It’s not a drinking game,” you let Yuki know already before she gets her hopes up. “It’s just a question game. We ask questions and answer honestly.”

“Huh? What kind of game is that?” Yuki complains.

“Just…play it,” you press between gritted teeth before you drop your irritation with a deep breath and peer over at the people beside you. “What do you want out of life? It can be a year from now, months, a decade, or even five years from now. Just say what you want.”

Both Choso and Yuki let out a pensive breath, and in their silence, your answer already comes to you without struggle because it’s something you pondered over lately.

“Well,” Yuki is the first to break the silence. “I don’t know, maybe teach someone else. I think that’d be fun, I enjoy passing on my knowledge,” she shares thoughtfully. “Or complete my study on those born without cursed energy but have a heavenly restriction.”

“So Maki Zen’in?” You interject, earning the attention of her big brown eyes.

“Exactly. Now,” she trails off and leans towards you on the tabletop. “You.”

She’s aiming for a specific answer, you can see it through her wide charming smile, but you don’t give her the satisfaction, you don’t let your heart win just yet.

“Well,” you sigh and fiddle with the straw in your drink. “I want to go to Mexico. I hear the beaches there are beautiful. I think going there will be fun,” you share honestly, but it’s one truth to disguise your true desire.

Yuki is smart albeit, she learned to read you the first year you trained with her. She quickly tries to unmask you. “Spit it out. That’s bullcrap.”

Choso looks at you and Yuki slightly stunned simply over the fact that Yuki could read that off you without you needing to change the way your expression currently rests. He can read you, he’s starting to know what you feel with a simple look in your eyes because of how much time you spent in the silence of each other's company, but he has yet to learn this.

“Okay,” you hesitantly give in just because of the intimacy of the moment. “But if you laugh I will stop sharing.”

“Pft,” she blows you off as if she doesn’t have the tendency to do that shit.

“Well,” you start off timidly. “I…want to have more kids.” You begin to smile at the possibility of your future. “I had fun growing up with my brother. I want Satori to have that too. I don’t want her to grow up alone.”

You take a peek at the pair beside you and see Choso clutching onto his drink with his jaw clenched and his eyes spaced out in his drink. While Yuki tries to fight off something snarky to say.

And her stifled reactions does make you want to stop right there, but you decide not to be so petty and continue. “I also enjoyed carrying her, and I just love watching her grow up. I loved the baby stage too, so I want to go through that again.”

“And who will be the father of these babies?” Yuki can’t hold back. It was killing her. “Are you turkey basting? Or,” she rolls out teasingly and shifts her eyes to point them at the man beside her, but you snap Choso out of his stupor by slapping your cup on the table and then blurting.

“Actually I was thinking of asking your dad, Yuki,” you quip sassily, making her scowl—“don’t you want siblings?”

“Funny, I hate your jokes,” she grumbles and takes a drink from her alcoholic beverage.

You snicker and drop your gaze on Choso as you were on your way to refocus on your drink, and actually notice that his eyes are filled with what you read as slight nervousness.

What about though you wonder but don’t ask. You just take a drink yourself before you share one more desire. “I've also been thinking of establishing an orphanage in the community,” you whisper. “I want to help sorcerer children just like…the twins. Sorcerer children abandoned by their families or mistreated by non-humans.”

Tears threaten to fall, but you don’t let yourself cry, you smile with hope instead, gaining a first response from Choso.

“That’s nice, y/n.”

“Hm. Now,” you swiftly drive the focus to him considering he’s the only one who needs to answer. “You. What do you want? And yes I know you're unsure about your future, but amuse us for tonight.”

Choso holds your gaze for a moment before that faint smile slowly falls and he worries you with a growing depressed look he aims ahead of him.

“I have a question actually,” he interjects with sorrow laced in his nonchalant tone. “Is that okay?”

Yuki and you share a concerned look before she assures him. “Of course.”

Choso picks up his drink but he doesn’t take a sip, he just holds his cup and goes ahead with his question. “Am I…”human”?”

You blink repeatedly with surprise and share one more quick concerned look with Yuki before you can’t help but look at Choso with pity.

“When my little brothers incarnated I realized their abnormal bodies meant “humans” would never accept them. That’s why I decided we should live as “curses.” That’s why I killed people in Shibuya, I killed a lot of people. And it wasn’t just people I killed. The one who killed Eso and Kechizu was me.” He shares a guilt-filled thought that had been running through his head ever since Shibuya, and your heart aches for him at the sound of his anguish.

His guilt and concerns have been touched upon since you’ve helped him ease some of them, but it wasn’t enough to completely satisfy him. After all, you know more than most that guilt and insecurity grown from issues like that are far too deeply rooted, it takes time to really get rid of them. All you want now is for him to see what you do…

“If I’d chosen to live as a “human” back then. My brothers wouldn't have had to kill each other,” he continues with his voice beginning to grow shaky. “Why…why then…why did I—Why did I choose the easy way out?” He can’t help but cry.

“Choso,” you whisper with sorrow and pity.

“I didn’t want to see…I didn’t want to see them in pain from living as “humans”.” He adds tearfully. “Even though they weren’t weak. You can guess what happened next. And like some divine punishment, Yuji appeared. Yuji, who is in pain from living as a “human”. I’m sure our fate was for the four of us to fight together. But,” he sniffles. “Just because I wanted an easier life, Yuji was left alone.”

“If you die,” Yuki shares seriously. “He’ll be alone again.”

She put it in a kinder and quieter way, but it’s similar to what you told him too. And you know it won’t help right away, but you hope it eases some of that anguish he feels. After all, she has a way to assure people with her advice. At least you feel it that way.

“You’re kind, Tsukumo,” Choso mutters as he wipes the tears off his cheeks. “But I can’t,” he keeps insisting, tearing at your heart. “I killed a lot of people for no reason. I no longer have the right to live alongside Yuji…or my friend,” he finishes in a whisper and looks at you as he utters those last words.

Your breath gets caught in your throat and you can’t mask your disbelief.

“Choso,” you whisper and he looks away out of shame.

You could bring up your previous argument, and the fact that he said he’d try, but he’s still too tangled in his guilt and his grief, he still doesn’t think he has the right to live, so your argument won’t work this time. No matter how much you want to fight him. So you try a different approach filled with just as much desperation. “Can I give my opinion?”

“Please,” Choso sniffles and follows by wiping away more tears, making you hand him a napkin from the counter.

“Thanks.”

“I think that you chose the easy way out because that’s the only way you thought you could protect your brothers,” you begin to say and just occasionally glance away, but you don’t keep your gaze away for long so he knows you’re being serious.

“You decided to help Yuji and dedicated yourself to him after you barely found him, and after you discovered your father lied on top of that. You stayed here to fight your dad out of revenge. And Choso,” you say sweetly and lean closer to him to take his hand in yours, making his eyes snap to your gentle touch before he glances back at you as you continue just as sweetly and desperately.

“All that makes you human. I mean,” you laugh softly. “You’re here sharing with guilt hanging off each word and tears in your eyes. You’re showing emotion. That makes you human. You’re so beautifully human.”

More tears crawl down his already tear-stained cheeks and he’s left with nothing to say in return. He could give you his gratitude or say how sweet you’re being, but he’s already told you that and he doesn’t want to sound like some broken record and exhaust you, (even if you’d never grow tired of hearing it), so instead he refuses to let your hand go and squeezes back.

You offer him a gentle smile before you surprise him by resting your head on his shoulder and using your other hand to caress his arm.

You’ve never done that before, it catches him off guard, but he immediately feels comforted by it and you, so he sits incredibly still so as to not make you move. He does feel bad though that he killed the atmosphere, neither you nor Yuki talk after. He waits and hopes it’ll change, but the bar stays quiet, so he parts his lips to apologize but suddenly you leave his hand alone as you sit up.

“Come,” you direct at him. “Dance with me.”

You grab him by his wrist and tug him, but he resists. “I'm not good.”

You scoff and wave him off. “I’ll lead, come dance with me at least one song, please.” You bat your lashes and he doesn’t really protest any longer, he lets you pull him to the empty space in front of the stage before you break away and pick, “There is Something on Your Mind by Big Jay McNeely,” from the Jukebox.

“Now,” you add excitedly and grab his hands to put them on your hips, causing him to immediately stiffen. “It’s okay,” you let him know and rest your hands around his neck. “Now we dance.”

You sway to the music and to avoid stepping on you he watches the way you move your feet.

“You’re doing great,” you encourage him and tilt your head to meet his gaze. “Just relax.”

Choso hesitates before he lets himself focus on your face and the pretty smile you hold.

“Besides our previous conversation, have you enjoyed this atmosphere?” You ask him.

“Well,” he says with a sigh. “It’s just the four of us so I can say I do, but it’s different out there.”

You shrug. “Depends where you go. If you want to go somewhere with loud music and dim lights then a club is for you. I got to tell you though I am old now, I cannot party like that anymore.” You laugh and he shakes his head before he retorts.

“You’re not old. Try being 150.”

You chuckle, making his lips twitch to a smile.

“I don’t think I’ll make it that far,” you say. “But you know what? You’re that old so maybe like an old home is for you. You can play tabletop games and…I don’t know…what do old people do? Tell me.”

“We play tabletop games,” he points out nonchalantly.

You try to come up with a defense but he’s beyond right. Actually, you haven’t even finished a match you started at lunch.

“And I proved my point, I’m old,” you counter playfully.

Choso rolls his eyes and shakes his head, while you begin to grin.

“You’re a natural,” you point out and pass a playful pointed look. “You lied. Who taught you to dance? Tengen?”

Choso chuckles softly. “No,” he corrects you. “When Mahito gave me my body I knew things that I never learned or lived through. It’s weird but it helps being caught up and not being so clueless.”

“Ah, so he taught you to dance?” You joke, making him complain.

“Tsk.”

You show off a cheeky smile, and he hides his growing smile by tilting his head down, bringing forth a comfortable silence as he steals time to breathe in the hypnotizing scent of your perfume and appreciate the comfort that he can have you close to keep you protected. While you take your time to press yourself closer to him to embrace him as you continue to dance and take advantage of the fact that you can be close without needing to fight yourself.

It makes you wish for an infinite amount of moments like this one with him, but you knew the reasons why you couldn’t, they flashed in your head like a red alarm light. So you have nothing else left to do but just really memorize this moment and save it for times when you can’t handle what life has to offer you.

“I have a joke for you,” Choso slowly brings up timidly.

You pull back and smile. “Okay, I want to hear it. I do love jokes, you know that.”

Choso swallows thickly and manages to meet your gaze to share the joke he made Itadori tell him so he could tell you.

“Uh, what did the triangle say to the circle?”

You knew this joke, it was kind of a basic one, but you let him believe otherwise so he can tell it.

“Uh,” he grows quieter and hesitant, even more so when he sees the way you look at him with a soft waitful gaze. “You’re pointless.”

A wobbly smile tugs on your lips before you burst out laughing and lean your forehead on his shoulder.

He didn’t think you’d find it amusing, he thought you’d find it a bit lame so he’s been hesitant to share it, and even now he was nervous as he waited for your reaction, but he’s relieved to hear you laugh. He can't help but laugh softly with you. But he mostly just watches you with a proud smile.

“That,” you say between laughs. “Was good. That was very good.” You face him with a smirk. “Where’d you hear it from?”

He releases his stress with a small breath and responds, “I asked Yuji, he struggled but he looked it up on his mobile—phone.”

Your smile grows timid and the fact that he searched for a joke to tell you makes your face grow hot.

“Did you like it?” He makes sure to ask.

“I loved it,” you quickly assure him and realize that the song comes to an end, bringing you both to a stop. “Now should we have another round?”

He puts his hand up and shakes his head eagerly. “No, no, thank you.”

“Let’s do it! I'm dying over here!” Yuki exclaims, making you run over to be at her side now and do what you suggested without Choso this time. But it’s not like it really matters because he does join in your conversations and tries to participate in the games Yuki and you know.

Now there aren't a lot of you, but you do have fun and enjoy each other's company. For that moment you all forget what you’re there to do, you’re just a couple of friends having fun. That fact wraps you up until you’re alone outside trying to get ahold of your daughter before you go to bed since it should be morning over there.

Nevertheless, it goes straight to voicemail every single time, and that’s weird because she never misses a call. And if for some reason she can’t answer, Belinda does, this time neither of them answer.

You try to wait a few minutes because maybe they got caught up doing something, but when the moment passes no call comes through. You just get a single text from Belinda.

Belinda: Sorry the phone isn’t working, I can only text from the tablet. Satori is okay.

You reread the message and wonder why she didn’t let you know before since she called you just fine before they went to bed.

Then again maybe it just happened, so you calm yourself down and respond.

You: Oh, okay. Well, maybe she can send voice messages or videos?

Only a few seconds pass before you get a quick and short response.

Belinda: Yeah I'll tell her, let’s see if she wants to.

Sometimes Satori does march at the beat of her own drum, but you doubt she’d deny trying to talk to you.

Unless she's mad that you’ve been apart for so long? Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to you…but Belinda would’ve spilled that information if that’s what was going on, all she’s sent is quite dismissive texts.

You: Is she upset? Is that what’s wrong?

You have to ask her out of worry.

But Belinda quickly contradicts you.

Belinda: No, she’s in a good mood. Don’t worry. I’ll tell her to send something later.

You sigh deeply and have no choice but to be okay with it. You can’t do anything from thousands of miles away.

You: All right. Tell her I love her. I’ll call in the morning. I love you guys xoxo

You wait on your phone for a response but all you see is the little ‘seen’ sign. Which…shouldn’t worry you. This dismissive behavior shouldn’t worry you. It’s nothing, you’re just obviously growing anxious. That’s all.

“Y/N?” You hear your name coming from Choso’s mouth, so you peer back and smile as you watch him approach your side.

“Choso,” you greet him as if you didn’t just see each other.

“Did you get a hold of her already?” He asks.

You look back ahead and sigh out of distress. “She couldn't talk. The phone isn’t working, so no.”

You wait for him to sit at your side before you have to voice your concern. “Do you think I’m overthinking this? The phone doesn’t work and all I got was dismissive texts and the excuse that she’ll try and have her send something later. Should I be worried?”

Choso sighs deeply and follows your line of gaze to the beautiful full moon to share his genuine answer. “I’m not a parent, I—”

“But you are a brother,” you cut him off to press him to give you some comfort or feed into your worry. “If Itadori was the way I just explained, would you worry?”

Choso blinks and meets your red-orange eyes filled with worry and tries his best to answer. “Yes. But you trust the woman taking care of your daughter, right?”

You nod with no hesitation.

“Then I think you shouldn't worry,” he says. “Your daughter is probably okay.”

Probably isn’t what you seeked for, but he’s right. You trust Belinda more than anyone in this world, she’d never hide crucial information regarding your daughter. Her phone just doesn't work, that's all…

“I think I’m just stressed,” you laugh nervously and want to rub your face, but you remember you have makeup on

so you just throw yourself back and admire the dancing stars overhead. “Why are you out here?” You finally ask Choso what you were curious about. “I thought you went to bed?”

“I…was, but I wanted to check on you,” he shares hesitantly as if almost afraid that you were going to be upset that he couldn’t seem to leave you alone, but instead you smile and contradict his worry.

“Good I'm glad you did. I really hate being alone,” you reveal as if it isn’t a big deal when it is to you.

Choso can’t depict between touching on it or not as you just mention it so nonchalantly though. You don’t look upset, but you would comfort him, you’d know what’s upsetting him, and he wants to be that way too. He wants to comfort you too, not knowing that his presence is enough to satisfy you.

Albeit before he can attempt to touch on the matter, you sit up and interject. “You never answered my question at the bar, Cho. What do you want out of life? I mean.” You roll your eyes. “Hypothetically if you make it out of the fight. What do you want?”

He avoided answering this question before because there were other people in the room and his response was something meant just for your ears, but he’s here with you now, and the moon. He could tell you his deepest desire and share the realization that he had the other day when you fought for him to live.

You looking at him with your pretty eyes glimmering with the moonlight's reflection makes it hard for him to form words in his mind, but what he needed to tell you was already engraved deep inside his heart and just waiting to be shouted out.

“Do you want,” you break the silence to try and help him. “A farm with sheep? They're quiet. Or a rice farm? A cabin in the woods? Do you want to leave the country with your brothers? Or have a playboy lifestyle?” You wiggle your eyebrows and laugh softly.

A smile tugs on his lips in response, but it slowly falls as he parts his lips and looks at you with a soft and tender look of admiration and…love.

“You,” he blurts, making you slowly fill with confusion. “I want to live a life with my brothers,” he continues and dares himself to scoot closer to you. “I want to see them be happy and live a peaceful life, but every time I dream of that future I see you there too…”

Oh no…

“…you’re precious to me y/n,” he continues, and you can’t hold your smile or reflect that glimmer in your eyes anymore. He doesn’t notice that yet though as he goes on saying such sweet words. “You’ve been special to me since the first time I saw you last year. You’re all I could think about in that darkness. And I still may be clueless about a lot of stuff, but I do know that I want to keep what's precious to me close to my heart. And that’s my brothers and you. And your daughter of course.”

No, no, no…damn it.

He included her too. He doesn’t leave her out. He thinks about the most important person to you too.

But why does he have to say it all?! His confession and his desire?

Why did he have to say this? Why?!

Damn…

“That’s what I desire,” he fails to notice your distress. “You.”

Tears fill your eyes and a pitiful smile appears on your contorting face. “Oh, Choso,” you coo. “You’re so sweet…”

He smiles as he doesn’t see that you’re about to break his heart and add a tension to the comfortable relationship you had.

“But…I’m not the person you think I am,” you try to go easy on him and actually explain your reasoning. “I’m not a good person. I’ve done bad things. Horrible things that are far from redeemable, and you,” your voice quivers. “You’re precious. Your heart is pure and beautiful, even after the things you’ve done.”

Choso didn’t understand you at first, but he’s starting to know now so the soft light in his eyes flickers and the tenderness grows hard as he’s slowly falling in disbelief.

“And I don’t deserve that,” your voice breaks. “And you don’t deserve to share your life with such a monster. You deserve someone pure…good. Like you.”

Choso’s eyebrows pinch together and he wants to counter by sharing his disbelief grown by the way you’re talking about yourself. Partially because you’re rejecting him, but it’s mostly because he doesn’t see you the way you see yourself.

However, you grab his hands and cup them in between yours to continue adding arguments. “Even if I did let my heart have what it wants, what would I do when you sacrifice yourself? Because that’s your plan,” you remind him of something that’s still tearing at your heart. “And I can’t go through that again. I lost the man I loved and it left me empty. I barely recovered, and if I go through it again with you, I don’t think I could pick myself up again. So it’s better this way. Me and you as we are.” You nod even if deep inside you don’t agree with a thing you said.

“But,” Choso mutters as he's grown upset now. Not sad—well he does feel sad that this didn’t go like he wanted, but he’s mostly upset that you’re selfish enough to disregard what he feels about this argument.

“What—”

“No,” you cut him off with a watery but pointed look. “Please don’t. I know what I am,” you say as if you had looked in his mind. “I know what I’ve done. I’m sorry. I really am. I hope we can remain friends because you’re precious to me too, Choso. I don’t want to spend whatever time we have left upset with each other.”

You offer him a wobbly smile and he leans in and says your name loudly and with frustration that catches you off guard. He’s never spoken to you this way before.

Albeit you do muster the strength to interrupt him

once again so this doesn’t escalate and your heart doesn’t end up winning and accepting his proposal. “Choso, don’t. I don’t regret what I did, I’m a bad person, and I don’t want to go through that agony again. it’s gonna be hard enough already, so please, please stop. Please, I beg of you.”

Choso inhales sharply and wants to just ignore you and give an argument to all you just said, but you’re asking so desperately and yet so sweetly. Plus you’re right. If he dies he doesn’t want you to suffer. He loves you. He doesn't want you to be in pain when he’s gone, so even if it pains him he doesn’t argue. He simply nods which makes you feel terrible, but you can’t stay here any longer after his confession, so you offer him a thankful smile before you lean in and press a gentle kiss on his cheek.

You don’t move away right away, you stay with your cheek pressed against as you give your heart this one satisfaction of feeling the warmth of his cheek and memorizing the taste of his flesh on your wet lips. You draw in the scent of his musk infused with a soft cologne to have it dance in your nose to continue bringing you comfort until it’s gone and instead under lock and key in your mind.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper and tilt your head back slightly to keep close to him as your lips ache to taste his lips that shift closer to you as he moves his head to face you. “I really am.”

Choso watched your lips move, and couldn’t help but part his lips as he couldn't focus on anything else.

You try to pull away but you keep your mouth where it is since you can’t tear your eyes away from his lips. You just want to lean in so badly, they’re screaming to be kissed. And what makes matters worse is that you actually let him give into his instinct to lean closer, leaving just a hairsbreadth of space between his lips and yours.

But…

But! You can’t kiss him no matter how much you both desire it, because if you do you'll lose your fight and your argument will be null. Plus, you can’t risk hurting if he dies, so you pull back and just throw him a brief goodnight before you storm to your room and fall on your bed to think about what just happened.

You shouldn’t though, you know that. You need to focus on what’s to come and forget what just occurred to make it easier on you.

Albeit your mind actually fights you now and sides with your heart. But you push, and push Choso away and win back your mind's support and shove away what just happened and the emotions he stirs up back in a vault. Instead, you force all your focus back on Kenjaku and the threat that he is.

You can’t think about Choso anymore. You need to forget what you feel. You can’t give in to your heart's desire. You can’t and you won’t…

——

Kenjaku came unexpectedly a couple of days later as it was expected right at 12 am. It means that the inevitable you’ve been training a week for is about to happen and you’re tempted to say something stupid to Choso as he goes on his way to meet his father. After all, you could lose him forever.

It's true that he's only been in your life for 16 days—it’s felt like it’s been years really, but it’s only been a couple of weeks and a few days, and you could lose him forever after tonight. So you want to just be stupid and confess what you’ve kept guarded in hopes that that will encourage him to fight to live.

But you can’t. Not even now. So all you muster is another excuse in hopes that will encourage him. “Yuji is out there, he needs his brother. So just try.”

Choso comes to a brief stop before you and meets your gaze with soft reassurance. He’s not petty or mad over your rejection—actually, he never showed any sign of being upset at you after that night, you made it awkward most of the time, but he was never rude.

He was kind and nonchalant, like now.

“I will try.”

You nervously hold your hands together and don’t avoid holding his gaze right now. Not like you’ve been doing for the past couple of days, you look deep into his rich brown eyes that look as if they were always touched by the sun, and can't hide the worry from your eyes. Yet you can’t express it.

You part your lips and he stands there. Not to wait, he stands there to let his mind engrave every inch of you to keep an image of you close to his heart just in case he does meet his fate. When he’s sure every aspect of you is recorded he moves on past you.

Now you should go ahead and meet up with Tengen and Yuki while you wait your turn, but you stay frozen to your spot watching the empty space Choso left behind as you try to avoid looking back. Because if you do you’ll only hurt more, it’ll be like giving in to what you feel. And it’s true that you’ll watch him as he confronts his father, Tengen can display that for Yuki and you so you can know what Kenjaku is countering with and plan around that, but it’s not the same. He won’t be in the same room, his presence won’t be in the same room, and you’ll just be stressing out. So you give in and look back.

And without knowing Choso peers back and you meet each other's gaze.

“Be careful,” you interject without overthinking your response.

Choso nods. “I’ll try. And if I don’t make it out of here can you take my brothers with you?” He entrusts in you.

You turn around completely and assure him without a moment of hesitation. “Of course I will.”

Choso lets his eyes linger on you for a moment longer before he turns away and finally disappears to face his father, leaving you stranded there alone riddled with nauseating worry. You only move away from that spot because you need to know what’s going on to not be eaten alive by your nerves, otherwise, you probably would have stayed there waiting for you to go next.

However, perhaps it was a mistake joining the other two because you walk into Yuki changing into her battle clothes that…look the exact same as the normal clothes she was just wearing.

“Is there a difference?” You remark while she quickly slides on her shirt.

“Yes!” She exclaims. “This one has the Jujutsu High medallion here.”

You fold your arms over your chest and quirk a brow as you pass her a judgmental look. “Why would you wear that?”

She finally gets her hands through her sleeves and pierces her big brown eyes in you. “Don’t you?” She queries.

“Pft,” you blow out and laugh. “No, I threw that away the day I defected. And you’ll never catch me wearing it again.”

“Hmph well there is a difference, this is the difference.”

You sigh and turn away from her to look at a blank wall. “Show it,” you demand from Tengen. “Please.”

“Very well,” he gives in. “But nothing is happening as of yet.”

Regardless, a screen appears on the wall and you can’t help but smile softly when Choso comes on looking completely irritated with his father, who actually startles you. Not because he’s menacing but because he is in your husband's body, and for a second in time you forget and think it’s him. Just for a second because you then realize and feel nothing but hatred and disgust.

“Where’s Tengen?” You hear Kenjaku ask while he glances around the arena.

Choso’s lips slowly tug to a smirk before he scoffs and quips. “That talking thumb doesn’t want to see you.”

“Who’s a thumb?” Tengen mutters under their breath very human-like.

“Guess you’re not well-liked,” Choso adds, making your lips flicker on an amused smile before your worry reigns over again.

“Then I suppose you’re disposable fodder,” Kenjaku counters. “Please do try your best.”

There’s a bit of amusement behind those words and it does nothing to assure your worry over Choso’s fate. Kenjaku just plans to play with him.

“He’ll live. He’s half a curse, he’s resilient,” Yuki tries to ease your worries.

You reach back to scratch the chin of the worm-cursed spirit draped around your shoulders and mutter out, “I hope you’re right.”

“The culling game has already served its purpose, the preparations for the merger of all non-sorcerers in Japan have ended.”

No way…you just talked to Hakari and Kirara the other day, they were doing well. Hakari had fought some old sorcerer brought back to life and kind of won. They were both too excited to tell you to explain anything clearly. You do know that Hakari learned to use RCT though! It was because he got gravely injured, but he learned and you couldn’t be prouder!

So they have to be okay. They all have to be okay. You need to believe that right now.

“Either way, if I seize Tengen here, then it’s your loss, the country will meet its end. The whole world will.” Kenjaku shares, for what reason? To throw you all off a bit? Perhaps. Or just to hear his own voice.

“Let me show you one possible conclusion to this affair.”

Oh gosh, now why does he need to waste time doing that? If it’s happening or not, why does it matter at this instant? Does he really love the sound of his voice that much? Why can’t he just fight to get this all over with?

“You’ve known Kenjaku for a long time, right Tengen? Has he always been so self-obsessed?” You break the intense silence while Kenjaku changes the arena he and Choso are in into a theater room.

“Yes,” they take no time to think it back. “Always. It’s why he’s here so many years later.”

You roll your eyes and pull a chair to rest on while you can as you continue to watch over them.

“In Shibuya, Yuki Tsukumo explained that merging with Tengen, which I’d prefer to call optimizing cursed energy, means becoming a sorcerer….”

“Yawn!” Yuki exclaims.

You snicker. “You said it.”

Please! He just keeps yapping about things he’s already mentioned before, just in a more exhausting way. You don’t know how Choso can sit there listening to him just blabber on and on.

However, as you watch him though, you see him look rightfully annoyed and bothered, but you don’t know how he can just listen. You don’t, you just tune Kenjaku out until you finally pick up on something interesting.

“…The way she thinks is close to my own.”

You snicker and Yuki groans in disgust.

“Anyways I’ve gotten off topic,” Kenjaku finally realizes, letting you finally sit up once again to keep listening. “From the beginning, I even considered the potential of cursed spirits as an option alongside sorcerers. Perhaps a new form of cursed energy could be born from advancing cursed spirits to a higher level. Because of that, I had high hopes for half-breeds between cursed spirits and humans like you. What a disappointment, you were all too ordinary,” he says without shame and it ticks you off.

How could he say that as a parent? In front of his own son too?

You know hateful parents like him exist everywhere but it always surprises you to see it firsthand. Especially because Choso is your friend, and you know how feels about how his father treated him and his brothers.

“If you talk about my little brothers again. I’ll kill you without waiting for the sideshow to end,” Choso spats in defense of his brothers, making you smirk proudly.

“Fine, fine,” Kenjaku sighs and sits up to finally get to the point. “After evolving, Tengen will be more like a cursed spirit than human. So if all the non-sorcerers in Japan merge with Tengen, I think it’ll become a cursed spirit bearing the cursed energy of a hundred million people. Maybe it’ll be like Uzumaki and capable of extracting something too,” he says thoughtfully and with a hint of fascination of what can be a possibility.

A possibility that plays out on the screen of the theater room like a terrifying apocalypse film—flashing scenes of people all around Japan getting their bodies mangled shows and terrifying never never-before-seen curses pop up like a jumpscare.

“I wonder what it will look like…” Kenjaku muses and you furrow your eyebrows and look at the screen in slight fear of what can be a possibility, and irritation mostly. You still don’t care about non-sorcerers, your hatred has dwindled, but you still don’t care for them. Yet what he wants will end the world as you know it. You can’t stand behind that, and the fact that he says it all so casually pisses you off.

“Right now, I feel like a kid…holding a crayon in front of a blank piece of paper,” he finishes and the screen goes black as the lights all go off in the theater before the walls and everything around them transform back to the arena with the single tree in it.

“What exactly do you want?” Choso sneers with heightened anger now, but Kenjaku doesn’t see that, or care for it, he looks back at him annoyed.

“Did you not just understand anything I just said?” He spats.

“No,” Choso argues between gritted teeth. “I’m asking you. What do you get from this?! What is it that motivates you?!” He raises his voice.

Kenjaku’s annoyance falls and he looks at Choso almost with a smile on his face.

“I’m fascinated,” he reveals, raising your own irritation to full-blown anger.

“I just think it’ll be fascinating,” Kenjaku continues. “But I won’t know for sure until it happens.”

So this is all a gamble for him?

He’s so sick.

“On top of that, if the accumulated cursed energy of a hundred million people is just a laughable clown face, then what would you do?” He says nonchalantly as if what he’s saying isn’t all messed up. “I know I’d laugh.”

He actually laughs. That bastard laughs like it's all a joke, but that’s what finally triggers Choso to start the fight by clapping his hands together out in front of him with his face completely contorted to raging anger.

“Wait, wait,” Kenjaku interjects and puts his finger out. “Before you do that.” He laughs again. “I have something I want to show you all. I know the others are here too. Somewhere. So I want to show you something.”

Choso doesn’t drop his guard, he keeps his hands out and stays ready to shoot his piercing blood.

“This is mainly a little something for y/n,” Kenjaku says making you stand up from your seat to narrow your glare on the screen.

“Are you ready?” He asks, and Suguru’s four-winged pelican cursed spirit breaks through the barrier and enters the arena, meaning what?

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest

[starheirxero]

No but genuinely, how does Sun even get drunk... Like, is there some magic he's had this entire time that allows him to process alcohol in the same way as humans? Are nanomachines somehow susceptible to it??? Like I am truly wholly tryna figure something out for this because if robots really don't get effected by alcohol, then Sun's drinking really isn't a problem for the alcoholism reasons.

It might be a problem for like, maintenance reasons though. I don't think wine is particularly dangerous to robotic parts in any way—just as dangerous as water or soda or many other liquids—but if some of it isn't fully "processed" then it's probably gunking some stuff up internally. Maybe not to a fatal degree, but still to an annoying degree.

Idk just kinda thinkin' out loud. I think drinking headcanons are entertaining but they're really something that makes you go "yeah there's no way this could happen, I'm just bullshitting for fun" lmao 😭

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hiiii, I just read your Blitz x trans male! Hellhound reader and I loved it! It was so sweet and comforting for someone who's also trans male 🥹 and it got me thinking, what if a male hellhound reader met Blitz one day at a bar or smth (maybe reader works there?) and they get to talking, Blitz is low-key already crushing, pass a date or a few and reader and Blitz are happily dating! Now, Blitz has been wanting for reader and Loona to meet, cause why not? Plot twist, reader is Loona's bio dad! How they find out is up to you 🫶🫶 (and it's totally okay if you're not taking any requests rn, just wanted to toss my thoughts out there) but I do hope you have a nice day, drink some yummy water, eat that good food, and stay safe 😁

Haha! Awww. Really? You’re trans? That’s wonderful, I hope I did okay with representation since I am nervous to tackle it. You are beautiful in all bodies but I am happy you’ve found your preferred skin! Trans support for life! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

By the way, I love this! It’s adorable! I think Blitz meeting Loona’s real mom or dad is a cute concept for even a real episode. I can imagine how grateful the parents would be to Blitz for taking care of their puppy! But anyway. Happy to do this, Blitzy is a good boy and I LOVE him so much. You have no idea!

Also also. Everybody. PLEASE stop hating on Blitz. What is going on with him is NOT his fault! You need to step back and look at what happened before bashing him

Blitzø- High-Tell Surprise

Blitzø doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to romantic partners. He has a endless amount of flings and one-night stands but nobody has truly held his heart in the way Fizzarolli did since him, so he shuts himself out from love to avoid the heartbreak

That was all until he met you…

At your job, at a local kinda shitty bat in Imp City. Blitzø was simply exhausted from such a tiring day at his business; running it, arguing with Moxxie, trying to maintain his beloved Loona. All he wanted was to get a bit hammered to dull how aching he is

Blitzø, at first, simply thought you were quite handsome and appealing as you uninterestedly tending the bar he strolled up to. Hellhound as well, he didn’t even know other Hellhounds stuck around this shithole

But hey. He was interested so he worked his magic on you and in no time, he was holding quite the fun conversation with you whilst you were working. Even though, you could have just told him to leave… you didn’t

And he found that very flattering

This became a weird routine he begun doing. He almost immediately forgot about his weird feelings for the Goetia Prince, Stolas and focused more on you to the point that everybody noticed it, even Loona. Coming to the same bar every single day after work, to talk to you and you became his friend in no time

Blitzø isn’t usually the type to make friends with others since he’s quite shielded and closed-off emotionally but yet, he’s still pursuing some type of connection with you and he doesn’t know if it’s because you’re so attractive or it’s because he wants you to be in his life

It felt like everything went by in a blissful blur for Blitzø since all he remembers past up to THAT day is just casual conversations over alcohol that got him wrecked faster than he wants to admit

The mischievous Imp, during his Blitzed state one afternoon at the bar you worked at. I’ll say that it’s become the norm for him to be a regular at your workplace, managed to stumble out something along the lines of;

“Wanna go out with me?”

And surprisingly! You said yes. He almost couldn’t believe it, he never ever wanted to pursue a relationship, out of his fear of intimacy but he can’t get out of this now. He’d have kissed your cute doggy snout right there if he wouldn’t fall over from all the alcohol making his head woozy

You did go on a date with him the next morning… many dates throughout the weeks and eventually, Blitzø decided that weird but pleasant burning beat in his heart is worth to pursue, even if he was so afraid of rejection. He shot his shot and he finally didn’t miss, since now. You’re his hot fluffy wolf boyfriend!

These few months have been even more blissful and kinda blurry than the weeks he spent getting tipsy just to talk to you. He gets to come to your apartment every day, he gets somebody to kiss and talk to, somebody to lean on, somebody to remind him he isn’t alone

Blitzø has introduced you to everybody he loves… being his employees but not the most important one in his life. Loona!

How could he forget?!

Blitzø quickly decides he needs to arrange a meeting inbetween you and his beloved Loonie-Toonie proto since you’re her new stepdad after all. Plus, you’re both fluffy wolfy Hellhounds. He believes it fits and believes that you’ll make a great father figure for his beloved daughter

Okay… he wanted you to be a good father figure to Loona but he did NOT know you were her dad! Holy shit! Blitzø nearly choked on his food when you suddenly picked out a locket necklace, the one belonging to your late wife… the mother of Loona and compared Loona to the baby picture of her

You recognised Loona as scarily familiar, the moment your cute smol imp boyfriend introduced her as his daughter

You and her do very much share blaring similarities physically but Blitzø always figured Hellhounds look similar and never thought much but when you showed off your wife’s locket necklace and compared the picture inside to Loona

Blitzø couldn’t believe his luck… he scored his daughter’s biological father?! And said biological father is actually caring and loving and regrets giving up Loona

Blitzø, the second you revealed this, was ready to kick you out for hurting Loona but when he heard yours and your late wife’s side of the story… he couldn’t bring himself to be angry at you. You did the right thing by saving Loona from a poverty-stricken life

On the other hand, Loona isn’t that happy with you at all

Even so, Blitzø is confident that you’ll be able to repair your relationship with your daughter eventually. He is here to support you all the way and as also Loona’s dad, he will help repair this as much as he can

As he does truly love you, he loves you even more knowing you didn’t just abandon Loona selfishly and did a truly selfless thing for her. You’re a wonderful man, as Blitzø says

By the way, Blitzø finds your late deceased wife attractive and says she is a babe when you show him the pics of her but he respects the fact you’ll always love Loona’s mother, even when you’re with him… hell, he says he’d bang her if she was still alive— that’s just Blitzø

“Hey. Hey. Hey, Bae. Listen to me, I know what Loony said really hurt but she’s just a sensitive soul. I know, she’ll come around, trust me. I know how our daughter is”

[actiniumwrites]

Hi, saw that your requests were open. Would you be open to writing headcanons for how the sumeru's s/o would comfort them?

*inserts yummy food as payment *

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

synopsis: comforting the sumeru cast

characters: tighnari, cyno, dehya, alhaitham, kaveh

warnings: reverse hurt/comfort, fluff, pinch of angst, exhaustion, injuries, mentions of alcohol, self doubt, and overworking

notes: thank you for the yummy food, anon 😋 hope you enjoy this! sidenote: i left dottore out because, well, i think that’s obvious. also i wrote this so long ago like i completely forgot i even finished it 😭

tighnari:

tighnari is very independent and likes to do things on his own if he can, so he very rarely needs comfort

but when he gets stressed, it’s BAD

works all day out in the forest and late into the night on his studies to keep his mind off things, but usually ends up making it worse

has a hard time sleeping and just gets so exhausted :(

one night you find him up and just hug him silently from behind

in times like these, he just melts and gives into the comfort, surrendering to dependency

loves it when you just take care of him and can finally rest

like helping him change into a more comfortable set of clothes, playing with his hair until he falls asleep, and making him his favorite meals

and it’s difficult, but you always find a way to convince him to take a day off of work

you even help him with his work since you guys frequently work together in the forest

he’s super appreciative too, thanking you left and right for catching him before he falls into a bad mental space

and you promise that, no matter what, you’ll always be there for him

cyno:

cyno is like tighnari in the sense that he rarely finds himself in need of comfort

until one day, he gets injured badly during a fight while out investigating some criminals in the desert

of course, he took them out with ease, but somehow managed to get a few deep scratches that were particularly painful

he’s definitely the type to try to hide that he needs help

but you always see right through him

he acts like he hates it, but he really does love it when you help him sit down and clean up his wounds

and the fact that you’re so worried about him helps take his mind off the throbbing pain from his injuries

whispering little things like “it’s okay,” and “you’re okay,” even though he is okay because no matter what, he would never let himself die or get severely injured as long as he’s with you

but on the days when he does get scratched up like this, he can’t help but exaggerate a little bit and relish within your love for him

and when he does truly get upset about the fact that he has to take a few days off from work, he can’t help but feel at peace with the fact that you’ll be by his side the entire time

dehya:

dehya completely hides her feelings when she needs comforting, at least, most of the time

usually it comes out as some form of anger, directed at a person who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time

but when it happens, you’re by her side quickly. and if you’re not, everyone knows to go get you, the one person who always seems to quell her worries and calm her emotions no matter what

truly like water and fire

she loves it when you put your hand in hers as it gives her a sense of familiarity and home

or the way you whisper sweet nothings in her ear and bring her to a calm place where the wind blows gently in her hair and all she can focus on is you

getting a nice meal together? her favorite thing in the whole world

she isn’t a fan of talking about her feelings, but something about just sitting down in her favorite tavern with her favorite person enjoying her favorite food and drinks as she lets everything out is incredibly heart warming and satisfying

seeing the way you never judge her for how she feels or what she’s thinking will never fail to make her fall in love with you all over again

alhaitham:

it’s simple, alhaitham doesn’t need comfort

at least, that’s what he tells himself

but everyone as their bad days, even him. does he show it? of course not

you’d have to be pretty damn lucky to witness alhaitham, the most stoic and apathetic person in all of teyvat, let his emotions out

he’s definitely the type of person to bottle it all up for months on end until it all explodes one day

one little thing goes wrong: someone says the wrong thing, hands him the wrong paper, he forgets his keys…and he blows up like a firework

but only in private. he’d never let anyone see that type of thing happen, not even you, his lover

until one day, you do

he fumes with anger, the type of person to throw everything off their desk when they’re pissed off

you walk in and he just collapses into his chair, even more upset that you even had to witness any of that

you just drag him out of his office with a gentle hand in his rough one and guide him to your shared bed where you have him lie down

he enjoys sleeping with you, arms around your waist with you against his abdomen in a nice dark and cold room

but you clean up his mess and join him in bed

and you never say a word about any of it, just as he prefers it

alhaitham understands his emotions, so he doesn’t need you to talk him through it

resting with you is enough time for him to recharge, reflect on his emotions, and relax with perhaps the only person he’s ever loved next to him

kaveh:

he frequently needs comforting from you, and it’s pretty obvious why

there’s no specific situations like the others. kaveh is just generally an emotional and sensitive guy who needs a little more support

it’s not a bad thing, and you make sure he always knows that

he’s open about his struggles with you and it’s usually in the form of laying in each others’ arms while you two talk things out

it even helps him to avoid the alcohol, something he’s eternally grateful for

he loves it when you speak softly or even in a whisper, it’s very calming to him and makes him not feel like he has to be loud to get people to understand him

needs to be reminded he’s loved by you or else he begins to doubt himself

he really enjoys when you put your hands in his hair and massage his head for him. it allows him to close his eyes and find a moment of peace

if you’re in public and he starts to feel uncomfortable, holding his hand seems to calm him down immensely

overall just needs a bit of reassurance and some physical contact and he feels safe again <3