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firegirl888101 · 7 months

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Insatiable Madness (10)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

You need to start planning an escape.

Reader is Gender Neutral!

It wasn't the most flattering picture of you they decided to use. At least you could find some humour in that fact.

"...Why are you just staring at 'the television'?" Sandrone raised an eyebrow, looking distraught.

"Oh, hey, you're on there!" Childe pointed out. "You famous?"

"Something like that..." You mumbled in return, trying to hide the smug smile on your face.

This is perfect. They couldn't read the roman alphabet! Not only can you use this against them to plan an escape, but you can also insult them later for it!

Illiterate bitches You snickered to yourself.

"Yesterday afternoon, a local fast food restaurant in '_____ ___ _______' was attacked by an unknown group. Police officers found in the area of the crime were frozen solid in strong ice, scientists all across the country have come to try and understand how such a phenomenon could happen."

The screen changed to the McDonald's you were taken from yesterday, to a hospital ward with remnants of ice all over the floor. The camera panned upwards to a man laying on one of the hospital beds. His face looked awful, like he'd been revived from the dead. His nose red and lips blue, he was shivering as nurses rushed to get heatpacks for him.

"When the first officer was thawed, he had no memories after he'd been turned to ice. From what our journalist's gathered from him, the group whom attacked the restaurant kidnapped a civilian inside the facility, killing all who remained inside and allowing children to run away from the scene."

The screen then cut to a zoomed in clip of him sitting up, visibly in a better condition than before.

"Could you tell us what happened?" A cameraman from behind the screen asked him, the police officer looking directly into the lens of the device.

"It was... traumatising." He answered in a low tone. "I had ran from the station after being called to an emergency downtown. Something about an answer to a 999 call expressing worries of there being a hostage. My co-workers ran out of the police car first, and shouted from outside the building."

"And?" The cameraman pushed him, noticing the officer's hesitation.

The officer sighed, his breath shaky, then continued.

"A woman calmy walked outside, at least I think it was a woman. I remember my friends shouting for 'a lady' to stop walking towards them and put her hands in the air. Last thing I remember is seeing something blue and shiny heading right for my co-workers and the police car I was in."

"Bah!" The cameraman laughed out loud. "You're saying she was the one who almost froze you to death? Don't be ridiculous, unless you dreamt Elsa." He mocked.

"But, that's what happened!" The police officer shouted at him, the footage of the hospital suddenly going black.

"The Police Station checked all officer's body cameras. However, from the external ice interference, all footage was damaged and therefore unable to be investigated."

Another picture of you, different from the first one displayed earlier, transitioned next to the lady reading from her script. Her face showed one of concern.

"The missing person is Mx Y/N L/N, a college student who was kidnapped at the location. They were the one whom called 999 and first alerted authorities to the situation in the building. Our heart goes out to them, in hopes of them being safe." She said sympathetically. Her face soon changed to an interested one, forgetting about all the death's in the first place.

"Just who could this group and 'lady' be? Where did they get the power to turn others into ice? Perhaps the lady is their leader! Let's hope an update on the situation comes soon. To find out more, go to our websi--"

You turned the television off with a disgusted expression on your face.

Fake. Arse. Bitch.

"Her??? 'The Leader'? Fuck that shit." Childe scoffed, arms crossed with a glare sent towards the woman.

"Enough, Childe." Signora scoffed back, rolling her eyes at the child clearly fuming.

"So, everyone knows you've gone missing?" The Regrator whistled, fiddling with a mora coin and sitting on the only armchair which hadn't been torn to pieces.

Ugh, you forgot they could still understand the English language.

"Yup." You sighed.

"Even though I already know the answer," Scaramouche huffed. "Do you have friends who could have seen that and immediately thought to check up on you at your house?"

Oh yeah, if only you had friends who actually cared about you! Then, maybe someone would come looking for you. Also, was Scaramouche implying you had no friends!?

For his information, you knew plenty of people and had a lot of 'friends'! ... Unfortunately, you don't think they care enough to drop by your house.

"Pshh!" You shoved his shoulder lightly, slightly hurt. The puppet scowled and rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. They just... aren't available right now." You lied with a shrug.

Scaramouche simply stared back at you. "Uh-huh, I believe you." He shook his head, walking away.

"Hey, don't walk away from me. You need to- HEY, THAT DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE ELSE CAN TOO! CLEAN THIS GOD DAMN MESS YOU LOT MADE OR I SWEAR TO-"

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Everyone walked off to do their own thing around the house after that... cleaning session. You spied on what the harbingers were doing, a notepad in your hands with scribbled writing full of potential ideas to get away from the house.

You'd crossed out many plans:

Use phone, call someone?

Definitely not, you'd be heard and questioned by the harbingers then lose your phone to their control. There's no doubt in your mind Pierro would let Sandrone and Dottore get their hands on it.

Run out house, when everyone is sleeping?

Wouldn't work. They said it themselves, some of them don't sleep. Plus, most of them probably have supersonic hearing.

Suggest to go out together then secretly pass someone a note?

Too dangerous. The harbingers would quickly catch on to what you were planning, and would potentially kill the person whom you asked for help.

Ugh! This is terrible. Your dumb brain has thought of every possible way to escape, and they all end up in failure! They're too risky, the phone one is the most ideal but you'd never risk your phone being taken away too early! It could be detrimental later down the line.

"Decider. If I may have your attention," The old sounding voice of Pulcinella coughed from in front of you. "I would like to ask a question."

"A question? I mean, it's not like I can stop you from asking it." You hid your notepad from his view.

You didn't want to make the harbingers suspicious. Even if they couldn't read what you were writing.

"Insolent child." Pulcinella sighed to himself, shaking his head. "What exactly do you plan to do about the food?"

"Huh? Whaddya mean 'the food'?"

"While your meal from last night was delicious, I noticed from how it tasted it isn't the... healthiest option. Feeding 12 people, including yourself, is quite a task so I understand why you prepared something like it. But, aren't you worried about eventually running out?" He scratched his mustache, sitting on the sofa next to you.

"You're right." You sighed back to him with a nod. "I'll need to go shopping soon to get more food for everyone. But if I start doing that, I'll eventually run out of money."

"The Regrator can lend you some Mora---"

"Fuck that." You scoffed. "First of all, I know just how harsh the Fatui are with debt. Second of all, Mora isn't even the currency used here."

"You mean to say The Regrator is worth nothing in this world?" The old man's face grew amused.

"I mean, he wasn't worth anything to begin with..." You grumbled, trying to be as quiet as possible. "Anyway, I'll need to go to the cornershop and grab us some food."

"You won't be going anywhere." Pierro walked into the room, a small yawn erupting from his lips.

"Welcome back from my office." You glared slightly, Pierro glaring in return.

Well, technically it's not your office. Buuuut, your father did always joke how it would be yours when he dies... so yeah, it's yours now.

"I see no reason why it must belong to you when you are so concerned of your bedroom." He put a piece of paper in front of you.

"What does this say?" He dropped the paper on your lap, you giving him an eye roll before taking a closer look.

It seemed to be a... private file addressed to your dad. Something about house bills being paid at a certain date,. Wow, that's not interesting at all.

"Don't you know privacy is the only thing I have left now?" You scoffed, pushing the paper away from you.

"Now, Now...." Pulcinella scolded you, his walking stick digging into your foot. "Treat The Jester politely."

"Fine. I don't want to read it to you since they're my father's personal affairs, got it?" You winced, sighing in relief when feeling the pressure on your foot fade.

"Understandable." Pierros sighed to himself. "It looked important, with this script being written in thicker ink."

I could have sworn Teyvat has made something equivalent to a printing press... How else would 'The Legend of the Sword' gotten so popular? You thought, scratching your cheek with a confused face.

Well, Pierro was right either way. What he didn't know, was the bold text he deemed important was just the money paid, and the next date due.

Not like the house bills mattered anymore, you were assumed missing and it's probably not going to be visited for at least a year due to the janky government.

Besides, you were missing, not dead. According to the law, you have seven years until you need to worry about the police barging down the door. You probably won't live that long, so yay for legalities sake!

"Well, it would have been important for my mother and father before you ripped their carcass' in half. Now it's meaningless, ...for the next seven years or whatever." You gave a sassy reply, handing the paper back to him.

"Could you put it back where you found it? You'll probably not let me back in the office."

"Very well." He took the paper from you, leaving the room without another word.

"You, Mx Decider, need to work on your manners." Pulcinella gave you a side-eye.

"I have manners, but I won't give them to people who killed at least 30 people because they couldn't 'find the person they were looking for'. And then proceeded to kidnap them and--"

"I am getting tired of your blathering." He cut you off, a vein very clear on his head.

"One would say you act worse than Tonia back in Snezhnaya, but that would be a compliment. The situation is over and done now, I don't think you realise how much trouble you're actually in at this moment."

"Well, old man, everyone has a different coping method for traumatic situations. It just so happens that one of mine is joking and yapping on and on and on--"

"Understood. Just, shut up for the sake of my headache." He rubbed his head with his fingers, effectively shushing you.

Ahh, being annoying truly has its perks no matter who you annoy. From a scolding mother, to a bloodthirsty harbinger.

Anyway, you have an idea. You may look like an idiot trying, but you have evidence it could work.

All the Harbingers called you 'The Decider', meaning they recognised you before you even met them. This must mean they were aware of your existence before they left the game and entered your world.

Arlecchino in particular, she commented on Aether's existence being involved with your title. This means you're tied to him in some way. Perhaps.. If you were to log in to Genshin again you could ask him what in the fuck was going on.

You're not the smartest person, but this seems like the most obvious choice right now. You wish you could say the same for it being the easiest choice.

You hadn't logged into Genshin since you were forcefully taken out of the bathroom's in the restaurant. Were you really ready to go back to Genshin? The game which started all of this?

This is definitely not two (technically three) weeks late or anything... ahahah....

I, 100%, purposefully uploaded this on Valentine's Day.

Yup.

Anyway, I'm very unsatisfied with this. But I really wanted to post it. I'll try to make the next one as long as possible since I'd like to personally not make too many views...

One day, I'll most likely combine some shorter ones into one whole view if that makes sense :3 (I think I've mentioned this before...)

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers @conspicuous-mayonnaise @sielt @katsumikumo @greyhoundwires707 @carminerin @raidendeeznuts123 @angelofdarkness2 @shellofthewell @ginnxy-galaxy @clara-maddenlin @bk-4-trash-fire @uniqaal @tnsophiaonly @vianitry @dottoreandcolumbinaslovechild @melou008 @lsleepysimpl @steadybreadbluebird @thebigkessydisaster @eliciana @kamit-frog @twst-kumi @idk098 @kurayamioterasu @mmeatt @the-lazy-perfectionist @florelll

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

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radioisntdead · 5 months

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Adore

Alastor x reader

Warnings:

This is short, not my best work I WILL REDEEM MYSELF. Alastor is implied to break in at the end.

Good evening folks!

APOLOGIES FOR THIS BEING DELAYED, I accidentally deleted the whole thing and then I just laid on Barnaby out of defeat and slept.

ANYWAYS HERE'S WEDNESDAY'S ANGST, or Wednesday's poor excuse for angst, the original was better.

I'll be posting another angst fic later today, hopefully, it's either gonna be with Lute or another Alastor one

Song

A-one, two, three, four

You completely and utterly adored Alastor, how could you not?

He was quite charming! Sure he was a cannibalistic murderer but that for some reason wasn't a deal breaker for you.

A side effect from being in hell probably or possibly because you were just as screwed up as he was just in a different format!

Everything you do, it sends me

You had met him while working at Rosie's emporium, Rosie had asked you to make some tea while she taught Alastor the newest slang she had gathered.

Higher than the moon with every twinkle in your eye

Turns out you both had so much in common!

Both of you had gained deer attributes after your fall to eternal damnation, had a strong distaste for the lustful cravings of the flesh, thought cannibalism was neat, Rosie was a dear friend, and held a fondness and strong preference for the years you were alive.

You strike a match that lights my heart on fire

Rosie being the matchmaker she was decided to nudge the two of you together, after all she saw how well you and Alastor matched together, and it worked! Of course it did.

When you're near, I hide my blushing face

You and Alastor fit together perfectly, like pillows and blankets, like shoes and laces.

And trip on my shoelaces

He'd take you dancing, hand gently placed on your waist when you would dance more classically, or you'd have arms and legs frailing around like a octopus when you'd give more energetic dances a try.

Grace just isn't my forté

The two of you enjoyed cooking together in the kitchen, Jambalaya, curries, biscuits and gravy, pasta, gumbo, baked breads and whatever else you could think of, you made together.

But it brings me to my knees when you say

You'd help Alastor out with his radio broadcast, by either proofreading his scripts or finding an unfortunate sinner to make an appearance with their screams.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

You didn't know where things went wrong, everything was going well!

I fall into a pile on the floor, deer love is hard to ignore

At least you thought so, the last day you spent with Alastor the two of you had made a lovely dinner together, you had set the table with fresh flowers, a candle or two.

When every little thing you do, I do adore

After dinner the two of you danced to some jazzy song from his era, and he twirled you around.

We're as different as can be

His hand holding yours.

I've noticed you're remarkably murdery and I'm slightly less murdery

His red eyes staring adoringly into yours.

We balance out each other nicely

You gave him a kiss on the cheek before you went to sleep that night.

You wear fancy shoes in the snow

You had awoken in the morning and Alastor wasn't there.

You assumed he had stepped out and he'd be back soon.

In mid-July, I still feel cold

But as the clock continued to tick and the red skies turned into a deeper red you were worried but you knew he could handle himself maybe he just got caught up in something? Perhaps with that TV guy he was 'friends' with?

We're opposites in every way

Hours turned into days and days into weeks,

No one had heard from nor had they seen Alastor.

You looked everywhere for him, asking around, desperately trying to find out where he went.

but I can't resist it when you say

Vox apparently tried to get him to join his little V themed posse and Alastor rejected him, rather harshly and also broke his little TV antenna while he was at it.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

Rosie hadn't heard from him either, and obviously you wouldn't be asking around if you knew where he was.

I fall into a pile on the floor

Weeks turned into months and before you knew it those months became years.

He was just gone, leaving only traces of his existence.

Puppy love is hard to ignore, when every little thing you do, I do adore

For the first few years you would frequently pop into his radio tower, hoping that maybe, just maybe he would be there for some reason, and when he undoubtedly wasn't, you cleaned the place up, keeping it in tip top shape.

Finding words, I mutter

Once it hit the five year mark you stopped popping in, allowing dust and whatever else to consume the radio tower untill further notice.

Tongue-tied, twisted

You stopped hoping that Alastor would just waltz on into your shared home, with that yellowed grin of his and static following.

Hoove in mouth, I start to stutter, Ha, ha, Heaven help me

You stopped looking for Alastor.

Hello, how are you, my darling, today?

Seven years, he was gone for seven years,

He was back and he didn't have the decency to even pay you a visit? You had to hear about his return from him publicly beefing with Vox.

I fall into a pile on the floor, Puppy love is hard to ignore

If Alastor wasn't going to come find you then you wouldn't go out of your way to find him either, even if that hazbin hotel where he was residing was only a 30 minute walk away.

When every little thing you do, I do adore

Alastor didn't intentionally ghost you, his absence was only supposed to be for a short while.

Unfortunately he was foolish enough to make a deal that had kept him away from you for seven long years, his dear friend Rosie had been kind enough to fill him in on your activities since his disappearance but not before scolding him harshly for not even having the decency to send a postcard.

Every little thing, ba-ba-ba-ba

He had been back for a time now, how rude of him to not pay his dearest a visit! After all you were looking for him until recent years right?

Every little thing, ba-ba-ba-ba

Alastor was someone you completely and utterly adored once.

And unfortunately he still adored you to some degree considering he was standing in front of you in the doorway of the house you had once shared, he was as smiley as ever, his grin grew larger as he saw your confused expression.

"Good evening my darl-" he was interrupted by you slamming the door in his face.

Every little thing you do, I do adore

It seems you weren't as excited to see him as he expected, oh well! Good thing for him that you didn't bother to change the locks.

Good evening folks my apologies, this is more comedic then angsty, hope you enjoyed though I will redeem myself.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #alastor x you

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catt-nuevenor · 8 months

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The Future

Time to establish what's going to happen from this point forwards.

The vast majority of you have been exceptionally patient this last year, and for that you have my deepest thanks. You've given me the time to not only write a book, but edit it, and send it off to literary agents, something I would have long given up on doing without the continued support of those who enjoy my writing.

Now that the book is off doing the rounds independently, it's time I got back to Myrk Mire.

Originally Myrk Mire was built in ChoiceScript, a scripting language created by the Choice of Games company. Choice of Games control what is done with their script, understandably, they own it. This does pose some restrictions. I can't, for example, release any paid material built using ChoiceScript unless it is directly through their publishing label. If I do publish under their label, I maintain IP or Intellectual Property Rights, however I also grant them the exclusive rights under perpetual license to publish the multiple choice game 'electronically'.

Source: Choice of Games.com

As you can see from the outline above, they do make exceptions for stories published in non-competing formats, and for sequels, prequels, and spin-offs. However, traditional publishing houses might require stricter control over IP, distribution, and exclusivity. It will only become more and more complicated as things progress, and being locked into a perpetual license agreement of any nature is not a decision to make lightly.

As some of you may be sensing from the tone of all this so far, I'm going to be moving Myrk Mire away from Choice of Games and ChoiceScript, and into a new medium/format.

After tinkering, and trialling with a few alternatives, I've decided to go with Renpy. Renpy, while largely used for visual novel style games and stories, provides a very workable framework for interactive fiction, and is an Open Source script, it isn't beholden to publishing contracts, licence cost, or exclusivity.

I'm not going to be diving into transferring Myrk Mire right away, it's a huge piece of writing, in an entirely different scripting language, and as previously stated, there are a lot of changes I want to implement with the cast. Instead, I'm creating a trial story: One Háḟest Day. My Patrons have been aware of all this for about a month or so, and have already seen some previews.

One Háḟest Day takes place in Aldmirham before the events of Myrk Mire, around the time the Main Character and the Wanderers first arrived in town. The reader will have the choice to follow one of the romanceable characters through a single day, with opportunities to explore their lives and relationships before the Main Character and Child come along. I hope it will provide a proving ground for the changes that previously caused debate, and an opportunity for people to try out the new format and interface.

My plan is to distribute One Háḟest Day through Itch.io, working with their early access framework and voluntary payments for such as soon as one of the character routes is ready to play from beginning to end, updating regularly with the other characters as they too are completed, and with additional features as required. Once the full game is complete, I will release a separate full build with a set minimum price that can be discussed with the community as we move forwards.

At the second, I'm aiming for a web hosted format and a desktop/laptop downloadable format, with phone compatibility to come later down the line once things are stable.

I will post production updates and info when I can to tumblr, though a lot of what I'm doing now is very python coding heavy, so perhaps not that interesting?

I've included some screenshots below of very early development, featuring a Character Log and Word Log that I hope will allow readers to more easily navigate the story. I'm toying with the idea of having a Mysteries Log as well that will keep track of snippets of information gleaned from each character's route, but that can be a tinkering feature for now.

Let me know your thoughts, concerns, or excitement, though do keep all messages objective and polite.

#MyrkMire #Myrk Mire #writing update #Moving forwards #Future Plans #The Future of the story

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technologyculturedneo · 11 months

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Censored: Fact Check. Lee Taeyong

"I trusted you, and you couldn't even protect me."

Pairing: mafia!Taeyong X reporter!Reader

Synopsis: Life takes a sharp turn into the wrong corner when you realise that the man you’ve been with for 3 years has lied to you about who he really is.

Genre. Angst. Mafia and gangs. Dark romance.

Warnings. Angst. Blood scenes. Killings.

News:

"Criminal activities continue to manifest in Kwangya City. With cases and reports being filled day, night and regularly by the hour, as drug exporters, mob executioners and many more corrupt the streets. Legal advisors of Kwangya inform and advice fellow citizens to keep off the streets and stay indoors. However that has proved to be impossible because we are a function city fully based on people working manual and physical jobs.” You read the script stationed on the screen before you turn to your co-host. “This is insanity. Renjun can you believe the chaos going on?"

“It’s absolutely devastating to face this period blindly and not knowing what could happen to any of us. By the hour we've been hearing that citizens are getting kidnapped, houses are being raided, people, and to think that it's happening to different types of people. We could even be victims.” Renjun shakes his head in disbelief turning his gaze off the camera to glance at at his co-worker, you, in the eye. "According to reports made by various sources, the people of Kwangya should be extremely careful or they might be victims in uncalled-for events. That's what it is, uncalled-for and dangerous acts. But what I'm curious about is that Neo City and Kwangya City are close by the border, do you think that perhaps the mob bosses, dealer kings and corroborated mafia leaders of The Neo City are behind this whole scene?"

"I'll have to say Renjun, there seems to be a link between the crimes and patterns that the officers have picked up on, and with closer examinations I can say confidently that I'm sure this is planned by the Neo City corroborated Mafia Leaders. The pattern being the letter 'N' being carved in cites that have been raided. But then again I could be wrong," You turn to the camera. "After the break we'll report live from Kwangya streets to hear what locals and shop owners have to say about the disturbance of the neighboring city. It is now 19:30 and you're watching Channel 5 news."

A man dressed in all black walks inside an electronics store purchasing a burner phone. He walks out the store and drags his cigarette watching the news report outside another television appliances store puffing out air. He fishes for his phone puffing out the air that was from the bud, using an untraceable sim he requests a call on the new purchased phone. The phone instantly connects. "Peaches," He speaks with encryption to 'peaches'.

"Octopus," Peaches answers with confirmation at the same time speaks with encryption to 'octopus'. "Do you have eyes on the girl?"

"Vague eyes on the girl," the man 'octopus' responds. "But I've got clear eyes on the location."

"Name of girl?"

"Y/n."

The receiver notes down. "Do not engage with the girl, wait for further orders."

The man cuts the call removing the sim from the phone returning it to the store swapping it for a different phone. He moves outside towards the tv store continuing to watch from the outside seeing the news channel is back. He keeps his gaze on the female speaker also known as Y/n.

A few minutes later you and your coworker announce your departure and end the news reports. His phone buzzes in his pocket causing him to immediately check it. Signalling that he should be on the move.

There's so much chaos in the city, so much involuntary movements are being done, yet on your end you commit the biggest crime by walking during late hours. It's high time you get a car, because you might not know if you're next. It's a serious situation and you of all people (who report the facts) know that the night city is not a time you should be lingering outside.

But being on guard, the moment you're dropped off by your bus, you quickly make your way home. Walking through your residential area, you get side tracked by the twinkling of the stars and how bright they look tonight. Back then looking at the stars was peaceful, but now looking at the stars while being unattentive to your surroundings only brings trouble.

You can't stop looking to them but it's until you turn a corner and walk straight on the avenue of your house, you notice that there's a person on the sidewalk leaning against a lamp post.

What's weird is that he's got his eyes on you.

You look away from him ignoring the feeling in you that you've seen him before...but you can't pin point where.

•

"The weirdest thing happened tonight babe," You rinse your mouth thoroughly before leaving your toothbrush in its case. Walking back into your joined room whereby your boyfriend, Taeyong, is casually on the bed flipping through the channels, you smile while removing your pajama pants being left in your sexy underwear while wearing his baggy shirt.

"What happened?" He sits up leaning on his elbow. "On a side note, what do you wanna do tonight?"

"I don't know," you shrug your shoulders laying down on the bed next to him. "You're the one who came suddenly and uninvited, what do you wanna do?"

He lets out a dry chuckle. "I can't come and see my girlfriend anymore without getting formal permission? Noted." He tries to get a kiss but you ignore him, laughing slightly. "I missed you, though. Couldn't control my urge tonight. After all the effort to see you and nearly getting killed by my boss, I don't even get a kiss? Ouch," He gets playfully sulky.

You grin hiding your face behind a pillow looking at him. "On second thought, I wanna kiss you. Can I do that?"

He pulls the pillow down leaning his face closer. "Do what you want with me babe. Tonight I'm all yours?"

"I just..." You smile looking at him in awe. "I missed you so much,"

"I missed you too," He returns the smile. "I couldn't wait to see you tonight. And it's not just because I think we might make out, but seriously I missed you. Lately, I've been wondering about a lot of things. And you mostly came up in my mind. We've been together for almost 3 years but I can't shake this feeling inside of me. You're my forever,"

Your lips quirk upwards holding onto his shoulders, you get closer to his face and plant a kiss on his lips. "I love you Tae,"

"I love you more then you'll ever know, babe," Taeyong grins pulling you in for another kiss. You lay there holding him as he strokes your hair while he continues kissing you. He pulls away from the kiss only slightly leaving it open and kisses along your jaw line slowly trailing down to your neck. He sucks on your collarbone eliciting a moan from your throat.

He looks up at you, eyes filled with lust and you lean back giving him better access to your neck. Your fingers thread through his hair massaging into his scalp. He pulls away from your neck and places butterfly kisses all along the column of your neck, you shudder and squirm under him as his tongue licks the underside of your ear. "I've been thinking." He says in between kisses.

"What?" Your mind fuzzy with his intoxicating lips of pleasure.

"We should get out of here. Go to another city, or country, start new," He lips merge again with yours and he leans on the bed looking at you. "What do you say?"

"You wanna leave Kwangya?"

"It's bloody murderous now days," Taeyong states. "These days people are running for their lives, and I just don't want to lose you by accident. Anything can happen, and I don't want that to happen to you. I work at Neo City, so I'm not always here to protect you, but I want us to leave. We can find another place to stay, keep a low profile, what do you say? "

You giggle lightly while wrapping your arms around his neck. "As much as I wanna leave this damn city, I can't leave my dad just yet." You mummer. "I know he's my adoptive dad and I shouldn't care, like the way you've been telling me not to care...but this man has done so much for me. He's my dad Ty, and I have to make sure he's safe."

Taeyong looks in between your eyes and sighs softly. "Then how about we move with him?"

"Move with him?" You arch your eyebrow and shake your head finding his plea a joke. You lean in close to get back into kissing him but then recognition dawns upon you. "That's who he looks like!"

You sit up straight on the bed, stretching your body towards the opposite side of your nightstand taking your phone and gliding through some pictures.

"Uhm? Kiss babe? What happened?" Taeyong pouts when you turn your head towards him. "And what are you talking about?"

"That's what I actually wanted to talk to you about," You answer him, recalling the incident that happened. Crossing your legs and holding up your phone to his view you urge him to take it. "Keeping sliding left,"

"A few weeks ago there was a man who entered the company wanting to see the boss, aka my dad. He didn't take it too well that my dad wasn't available and began causing a ruckus. Security had him pinned and began dragging him out, but he kept coming once in a while still looking for the boss. The weird thing is, I saw him again. I don't know... but he kept looking at me. Is it strange?"

Taeyong says nothing looking intensely at your phone at the picture of the man who kept bursting at the place. He grumbles lowly as a dangerous bass leaves his mouth. "Shit."

"Babe?" You tilt your head to the side seeing his serious expression. "Are you okay?"

His eyes look up intensely and furiously that your heart shivers causing you to gently lay a hand on his knee. That seems to snap him out of the raging face before he looks normal...well anxious again. "I'm sorry, what? I didn't hear you,"

"You look frightening. Do you know him or something? What's wrong? Are you okay?" You ask again rubbing hand on his knees as he also sits up crossing his legs, visibly looking annoyed.

"I don't like how close you were. Did he do anything to you?" He asks raising his brow.

"No," You shake your head. "He didn't do any anything to me on that day, but today-"

"You saw him again?" His voice gets louder.

"Yeah, I was walking home and I noticed him staring at me. Maybe it was absentmindedly but it didn't look like that,"

"They know where you live. Shit."

Taeyong hurriedly gets up from the bed going over to curtains pulling them apart, before you can even have time to digest his sudden change of behavior and attitude. You get up on your knees wanting to ask who knows where you live, yet a bizarre sight freezes you in place. The view instantly consumes you with its bright flashing lights and a loud car engine roars drastically screeching and getting closer and closer to your bedroom balcony. Your mind is slow to process- however when Taeyong leaps out of the way vigorously gripping your wrist and pulling your shocked body- you have no choice but to support yourself and regain balance to try and run already hearing the walls of your bedroom bricking down- crashing down. You scream gripping Taeyong with your other hand, but he's quick in lifting you up in one swift move placing you onto his back - you rapidly straddle him from the back holding onto his neck due to the fast pace he's running at.

"Hold on tight!" He yells before his legs swing over the wooden fence around your house. His hole body bucks when he's running and have to hold yourself severely because you feel like with all his sharp movements you could fall off. He's running so fast and sharply.

But it's not long before the angry tires screeches and demolition of your house is in progress. Peeking back there's only heavy clouds of dust all around your tarnished house and rapid angry rolling tires still trudging towards you guys.

"Babe what's happening!?" You yelp now hearing bullet sounds of gunshots shooting up from behind. Taeyong's feet move rapidly that you begin to bounce up and down at every street jump he makes. You hold him tighter closing your eyes. "I'm scared! I'm scared!"

"Fuck." You hear Taeyong curse lowly.

You look back in the dark night no longer seeing the car but running figures. Two! "They're running Taey!" You tell him but the warning is short lived when Taeyong accidentally falls down a short ledge throwing you off guard and off his shoulders

"Taey!" Your back hits the floor hard when a sharp shot hits his leg making him roll down the short cliff leading to the park down below.

"T-Taeyong!" Your bare less feet regain composer and you get off the ground running towards the edge- you're about to go down but your hair spikes as someone pulls you backwards from behind. "OW!"

Your eyes widen as you turn back to the man that just pulled your hair- it's him. It's that man!

"Please?!" You scream out loud when he presses the cold barrel of the gun on the side of your temple.

He pulls down his mask revealing a blunt smirk. "So you're the bitch that has him falling like a pussy,"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please let me go."

"In that case, you should've let me see your boss that day." He comments. "Because now, you've just made shit difficult."

"I'm sorr-"

Strike!

The last thing you remember before your eyes lost conscious was his enormous fist colliding with your face. Maybe you're still hazy from the hit or maybe it's you're mind playing games with you, however you almost swear that you feel your body being thrown in the back of the car while hearing your name being called. Called by Taeyong.

He's screaming- yelling your name. Your head feels too heavy to lift up, but when you do the car's already driving away with a drenched Taeyong chasing after.

"Taey? Taeyong. Taeyong!" Your body snaps up banging the window and pulling the trigger of the door to open, but it's locked.

"Make her shut up Yuta."

Your wandering eyes search the dark car but just like that- another jaw breaking punch sets you falling backwards in your seat losing touch of your senses and what's happening around you.

•

"Rise and shine sweetheart. Your day has just begun."

Your ears manage to catch the muffled voices verifying them into words that you can actually understand. A sharp pain makes itself known the moment that your eyes snap open. You're laying flat on the stone cold floor feeling pain on your face. Your throat is horses as you try to make a sound. It doesn't work especially when you feel your hair pulled back forcing you to sit up as you hold onto the hand that harshly grips your hair. A loud yelp as well as tears emerge instantly reminding you of the distortion of last night.

The darkness in the room makes itself known but you try to adjust your eyes to the man infront of you. The man doesn't give you much of a chance as he yanks your hair laughing in your face. "Oh wow! Did I do that? Jaehyun look at this, I'm almost as good as you,"

Your throat is parched and you have a massive headache. You try to speak but your lip is split making it hard and you feel your jaw has intense pain. Instead you look into his eyes only seeing dots of black spots and blurry sights.

"Taeyong has taste. She's hot."

"Looks like one of his whores." the other standing figure states moving closer.

Your mind wonders to what's going on but it's hard to piece the pieces when your head throbs hard and all you can think about is nothing but the pain. He lets your hair go and like a pin dropping your whole face and front slam back to the floor weakly. "Ah,"

You let out a small cry making the other standing guy grabbing your neck forcing you up and yanking you. Your voice weakens and you hold in your cry as fear raises in you. He says nothing only glaring at you and you hiccup breathing unevenly feeling your lips quivering. He grips tighter evoking a new wave of panic. He doesn't even need to say anything, his eyes say it all. If you make another sound you won't like the outcome.

He drops you to the floor and having no balance or support, your body tramples weakly on the ground. You close your eyes forcing the tears to stay in, wishing and praying for Taeyong to save you. You don't know what has happened over the course of the previous hours. All you know is that Taeyong seemed to know before hand what was happening. What even is happening? You're proven right when a third party enters the room shortly....it's not even a room. The more you like the wider the grey space looks. It's large too, with only small square windows at the top. It's looks like only a giant can reach up there and no normal human being.

"Guys, he's here. He's really here." The new guy who enters marvels in a cocky manner. "I thought he would've taken longer."

"How could he take long? When the last thing he saw was his bitch in Jaehyun's arms." Another dark chuckle from his end. "She's a fine piece, there's no way he could take long to get back to here, so of course he'd come by in a blink of an eye."

"Where is he now?" The other guy asks.

"With the boss."

"You finally remembered us," Johnny smirks when Taeyong bursts into his office looking furious as hell. The entire night he spent running on foot to get to the Gates of Hell, also known as the headquarters of The Neo City Mafia Leaders. From where you live all the way to Neo city takes at least 3 hours while driving, but by foot it takes longer, so seeing Taeyong in his office panting and sweating, Johnny can just feel how much taking you hostage means to Taeyong.

"Where is she?" Taeyong asks fisting his fist and glaring at Johnny.

Johnny throws a picture on the table causing Taeyong to pick it up. It's a picture of himself and you, kissing. "Yuta took this picture moments before they crushed into her house. You look too relaxed don't you think?"

"But before we get to her, let's talk business." Johnny gets up from his desk and tilts his head at Taeyong. "2 missions have passed. Where did you hide off to?"

Taeyong refrains from rolling his eyes. "I was at home."

"You mean at that bitch's house."

Taeyong wants to curse Johnny for calling you however he wanted to call you, but he can't because Johnny is still his boss and the Leader of the Neo City Mafia Leaders. So he simply clutches his fist stronger and turns a deaf ear to any insults regarding you.

"You're disappearance has not been sitting well with me. Not only did you miss two missions but you've neglected your duties as vice." Johnny states. "You can imagine how pleased I was to have finally found your little bitch. I sent Yuta and Jaehyun to get her. But word tells me that you were actually at that little bitch's house, proven by that photo."

"She has nothing to do with this Johnny. She's innocent-"

"In my book she's already committed a crime. If she can make you neglect two missions, then there's something wrong with her." He smirks. "She has to pay."

"Please-"

"For hell's sake she's even making you say shit like that. 'Please?' did you really just say that?" Johnny fixes the buttons around his wrist. He picks up the remote on the table switching on the tv to a basement that's very familiar to Taeyong. It's the torture chamber. Inside the spacious grey room he sees you on the floor in the baggy shirt he came over with and your black laced underwear, on one side Yuta stands there tilting his head from side to side with his hands buried in his back pockets and near the door leaning on the wall is Jaehyun who's got his eye on you.

Johnny presses a buzzer and speaks into it. "Begin."

Taeyong's heart escalates when he finally realizes what you're doing there. You're going to be tortured. "No. Please don't." He steps closer to the screen watching Yuta smirk at the camera before picking up your shirt and using his backhand to beat the side of your face. "No! Don't, don't don't do this!"

You yell in distress by the sudden impact trying to back away but get forced forward and are beaten left to right. Taeyong with bloodshot red teary eyes watches Yuta have his way with you. "That was for missing two missions. And the next one. This is for disrespecting your oath and word towards me. Jaehyun you may,"

Jaehyun steps forward after Johnny's command and Taeyong has his eyes widen when Jaehyun wastes no time in slamming a hard right hook on your face. You fall back and crawl backwards yelling covering up your face but it's no use as Jaehyun follows you and continues to deliver rough hits to your face. Taeyong grips his hair turning sharply to Johnny pointing towards the screen. "Stop this! She doesn't deserve- she's innocent. It's me you want! I'm here!" Taeyong yells trying to drown out your ear piercing wails that get louder and louder. The thought of your fragile body, your soft skin being beaten up makes his stomach wrench with anger. It's worse since he knows that Jaehyun will only stop if Johnny tells him to. "I'm begging you, please stop this."

Yuta from the side knows very well that Jaehyun plays no games when it came to hitting and teaching someone a lesson. So he's not surprised that after 5 minuets of continuously punching and hitting hard on the girl, Taeyong's girl, your wails become low and your face gets bloodier concealing your beauty. Jaehyun grabs a hold of your hair pulling you up and he looks at your bloodied face with your eyes closing out of conscious. You await the heavy knockout already closing your eyes tight being tired of fighting. Feeling nothing but cold air blowing past you, your eyes weakly open noticing that Jaehyun's fist is centimeters away from your face.

Your eyes having difficulty moving - straining when you try to look at Yuta who's talking but you can't hear a thing. You're dropped on the floor and your eyes instantly shut- too painful to cry, too painful to move you lay on the ground breathing and choking on your own dry blood. With your ears being impaired you only hear ringing and even if you did want to hear something, you couldn't bring your energy or hear all to listen to what the two men that beat you up had to say. The only thing you can think about is the pain.

"She's fucking innocent Johnny! Have you no heart, that's my- my-" Taeyong feels his eyes aching and stinging by the sight of the monitor screen with Jaehyun and Yuta who wipe the blood off their hands and throw it at your face. On his knees his heart quenches seeing your figure shaking but unmoving. Jaehyun would need to pay for what he did to you. "You're a devil, have you no mercy?"

Johnny laughs like the cold heartless monster he is and Taeyong takes his eyes off of your image. Johnny raises a brow seeing the look on his face. "The devil I am indeed and you're supposed to be my spawn. My deadliest spawn, but look at you. You're on your knees, begging and shedding tears. If you value her that much, maybe I should just take her away."

Taeyong slams his fist on the table glaring his eyes at Johnny. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want Taeyong," Johnny smirks. "I'm glad I found the thing that's been hindering you. I don't want to threaten you because you know all that's at stake, all I'll say is that I've picked you up from nothing. You owe your life to me. You've had nothing and if it takes me removing her from the picture for you to focus, you know I'll remove her. So the ball is in your court. Anytime you divert, mislead or even stray away the mission one bit, I won't hesitate to kill her. And you know I will."

Taeyong breathes in heavily straightening his back and closing his eyes. He simply travelled to Kwangya to spend time with you and to escape from his reality for a while. He didn't intend for you to be taken, to be kidnapped all the way to Neo City where crime was at it's peak. So frustrated he pinches his teeth together trying not to get enraged. He didn't even sleep, he didn't even bath as his main priority was getting you back safe. Now that he's here, he knows it'll be a long time until you're going to be safe. "Why Jaehyun and Yuta?"

"You know why I picked Jaehyun." Johnny smirks as if the answer is clear. "I'm proud to have raised you and Jaehyun in my own house. You guys are my two deadliest pawns. With Jaehyun in place you'll do whatever I say for the sake of that girlfriend of yours. While I can count on Jaehyun to give her one blow once in a while, you can count on Yuta to feed her, keep her well." Johnny laughs to himself. "We both know that he won't take good care of her, so bring me what I want and I let her go. Come to think of it, does she even know who you are?"

"What do you want?" Taeyong fumes out still with eyes closed.

"Kwangya at my feet." Johnny moves back to his seat finishing business and closing the deal. "Qian Kun's head. As well as his son Chenle, but he should be alive, he's got information worth fortune. You may leave."

Taeyong drags his hand off the table burning with fire in him.

"Oh and Taeyong." Taeyong stops, refusing to turn back and make eye contact with his boss. "You know what will happen if you try and check on her? One move towards her cell and it'll probably be the last time you see her breathing."

With that Taeyong leaves the room panting and breathing heavily trying not to lose control. Inside the large mansion, criminals rest and roam around so when they see their leader Taeyong walking towards his room with hast and anger they know it's time to bring out their stern faces and full game. Taeyong bangs his door immediately going to shower removing his clothes punching the wall as hard as he can with his fist. "Ahhh! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

He needs to get her out. He needs to get you out of here. You can't stay here. Not in this house, not in this mansion full of dangerous guys. Especially not in that room with the dangerous of them all after himself. And to think, that he's the most dangerous but yet so soft around you. He needs to get you out.

And in order to do that, he'll need to work as fast as he can. Turning on the shower he tries to focus on his target, but getting the bloodied image of her face out of his head is a challenge. He should've never came to visit her. Now he's gotten her in trouble that she doesn't deserve. "Hold on baby." He whispers as the water pours on him. "Hold on."

"We get in and get out." Taeyong speaks to the sets of groups listening to him. "Take out as many bodyguards as you can and then leave Kun's door unattended. It's take over day today, they'll know we're coming. So take out the lights, cut out the power, kill anyone who stands in your way, but leave Kun to me. Under no circumstances are you allowed to kill him- that's my job. Got it. Let's move."

•

"We're gonna ask you some questions." Yuta announces entering the basement room with Jaehyun following behind him.

It's been hours and you still haven't moved from your last position. Lifeless on the floor while fading in and out of conscious. Your throat and lips are dry while your eyes are both swollen. Not having cleaned up, crusts of your dried blood remain on parts of your face. You blink a tear away when spotting vague figures standing in front of you. Slowly, your head shifts to the side and you strain your eyes open using the little weight you have to back away. Not having heard what either of them say, you try with all your might to get away but you stop- only having moved an inch due to all the body shock and fatigue, as well as how heavy you feel dragging your body.

"Please..." Dryly you let out weakly putting your hand to cover your face.

"Damn." Yuta laughs. "She's actually holding up better. Not like Ryu and the other girls."

"Ryu died on spot after the third day, why compare her?"

Yuta scoffs as if the answer is obvious. "Because she's not dead yet. Meaning she can give us the answers we need. Alright, girly can you hear us?"

Yuta snaps his fingers near your ear and you slightly flinch, but you can't hear a thing he's saying. You mummer and try backing up begging with your dry cracked lips. "Please..."

"We wanna know about Taeyong." Yuta states his subject. "You give us much information, you eat. You give us little, you don't eat. Deal?"

Your ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton as you can hear his muffled words but you can't decipher what they mean. You can only cower and tremble while moving back- hoping and praying that they won't hurt you again. To your slight movement and response, Yuta thinks you're agreeing with. So you can just imagine your shock, when he speaks some more and you don't respond only seeing through your blurry eyes how his arm lifts up and the next thing you experience is a tremendous blow knocking your head in the opposite direction as you blurt out a cry-before quickly shutting your mouth holding in your voice- afraid you'll get beaten again.

You can only moan in pain as you let out tiny muffled out cries. You're scared for your dear life, and it doesn't help how your whole body is aching in pain, you feel that they are broken ribs here and there, and that your jaw is dislocated and that your ears are deaf just as your vision is foggy- but you can't even do anything with your trembling body but let out cries of sorrow.

Their muffled speeches continue again- but you can't be bothered to try and guess what they're saying because you feel another rock hard kick against your abdomen.

Jaehyun grabs Yuta's collar back while watching as blood splits out of your mouth as you cry and beg earnestly, imploring a single bloodshot word: "Please..."

"She can't hear you." Jaehyun notes, while directing his eyes to your ear which is bloody and red and oozing out lines of blood. "Which renders her useless. Just like Ryu."

Yuta growls in annoyance when noting the blood from your ears.

"Give her food."

Yuta pushes Jaehyun's hand away from you. "No. We made a deal. The less she gives, no food." Yuta walks away from Jaehyun, who only looks at your unlucky figure.

He kneels down close to you, spreading his finger through your hair. You're whimpering and breathing in heaps of fear. Jaehyun looks through your swollen bruised and broken face- cracked lips, bruised cheekbones, eyes bloodshot from weeping, nose busted and bleeding again, the skin around them a sickly pale pink, and yet you look so much more beautiful to him. His fingers pass through your soft hair going all the way down to the curves of your body landing on the fabric of your laced underwear.

"Just between us. If your boyfriend gets Kun's head, I'll get you some pants." Jaehyun mutters knowing you can't hear and taps your cheeks- it still causes you to throb in pain and you're whining like a broken puppy. "It's cold here. Good night."

When they leave the room, you're panting simmers down as your vision blurs out until you're passed out.

Your left ear drum is bursted and you fear that you won't be able to see again from your left eye. Although the pain subsides from your body, your stomach tightens in hunger. With each passing second whenever the two figures enter the room, you're scared that they might beat you up just like the previous time. However, it seems like ever that day (that they acted out of rage and beat you up) was just a command from someone higher then them, because they don't touch you again.

They place a bowl next to your head, but you're too weak to move your head or see what's inside. You can smell through your broken nose that it is a meal and it's hot. They splatter water on you from time to time but they don't feed you or make you move a little.

You don't count the time one of them entered the room and began making you wear some pants and left you with some kind of jacket that draped over you like a blanket. You don't count it because you don't remember it ever happening, you just woke up and you had pants on and a jacket blanket over you.

At some point when your bladder was full, you held yourself and kept yourself pressed. And for the time you really needed to let go, you crawled with all your strength but it was slow, and when you got to the corner of the large room, you peed on the concrete floor before you crawled and dragged yourself back to your bowl.

You don't know how many days passed, how many nights passed. You don't keep count, you don't move. All you do is stay in the same place hoping that this nightmare will end and that you'll wake up in your bed with Taeyong comforting you.

But unfortunately you don't ever go back to your normal life. And so as a way to adjust, you crawl to the food and try to eat...suck the food before getting dizzy and accepting that you can only eat a little.

Only 3 days have passed with both Yuta and Jaehyun in astonishment of how far you've made it without a bath or using the rest room- you barely even finished a full bowl of water or the food they placed next to you.

While Yuta nags and complains about how he doesn't like being a babysitter, Jaehyun finds himself loitering around the basement checking if you're okay. He splats water on your face from time to time, making sure you're alive. He also takes care of your face and body when you pass out or sleep. He wiped the blood from your face, ears and body, he placed a hot cloth on your face, massaged your scalp and made sure to keep you alive.

Of course now you know that it's been Jaehyun who has been cleaning up your swollen areas and wounds merely because, you noticed that your eyes weren't stinging so much and when you tried opening them you'd feel that it was actually opening up.

Despite his nature, he willingly made sure to keep you well and alive. And much to Yuta's surprise when Jaehyun picks you up from the floor and thrusts you over his shoulder walking out with you, Yuta has so many questions.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Get Jaemin." Is all Jaehyun says as he walks out of the basement room.

"You know you're fucked if Johnny sees-"

"He's not here. He's torturing Chenle in the chamber." Jaehyun mutters going up the stairs of the mansion before entering the lower area bathrooms which had 10 stalls for showers. Showers that were on an open floor with no barriers in between. Jaehyun sets you down by the sink as you try to balance yourself.

Although you're weak and your vison is hazy, you make out a man covered in foam and is butt naked seemingly taking a shower in the large space for showering. He's minding his own business and thoroughly washing himself.

Jaehyun's eyes go over your figure before turning back to the man in the shower. "Ten get out."

"Yah." Ten, unbothered, continues to shower. "I'm not bothering anyone today. Strip yourself and bath, stop pestering me to get out."

"Remove your clothes." Jaehyun says nonchalantly removing his leather jacket and placing it on the sink as his gaze is on you. The other guy abruptly turns off his side of the shower and snaps his head back. Upon noticing the female presence Ten covers his manhood.

"No way," Ten laughs. "Is that Yong's chick? Fuck she's a beau,"

You're surprised when Jaehyun holds you by your shoulders and then points to his lips which began moving. Over the past days, your hearing hasn't gotten any better, however you can say that you can hear...but it's low and muffled. So using your hazy eyes to try and see the way his lips move, you make out the words: "Bath" and "Clean."

"Now remove your clothes." Jaehyun continues speaking in a slow paced manner to try and get you to understand. "I'll get you something else to wear."

With that Jaehyun gets out of the bathroom. You're left alone in the bathroom with another naked man, who gives you one last smirk before turning around and continuing to shower. Heeding to what Jaehyun said, you try to remain nonchalant as you begin to remove your hoody as well as pants. You remove your underwear and bra and limp your way, as well as holding onto the wall for support to the furthest shower away from the naked man.

You try not to mind him, as he seemingly minds his own business when showering, however when you step your foot into the wet surface and try to hold up your weak body- you nearly fall causing the wet naked man to carefully leap in your direction. He holds onto your own naked body on the floor and helps you up.

While you cover your exposed areas trying to shield yourself from his view- you feel self conscious when his eyes go all over your face. "Jaehyun really left his mark on your face." He mumbles. "Do you need help washing up? I'm good with that."

You don't recall nodding, but when Ten gets a scrub and some soap, he begins creating foam around your body and he starts scrubbing you. You can only shamefully look down while holding onto the wall for some balance. The guy turns on the water and as the water cleans the foam from your body, you can see the blood mixing together with the foam water. Watching the water mixture, an emotion rises in you and you feel overwhelmed once the tears start blurring your vision.

You don't make it obvious that you're crying, in fact you try to allow the water drops take away the tears. Taeyong lied to you. He lied about his whole life and now you're here. You don't know what to think or feel. The person you fell head-over-heels for seems to be part of the mafia.

Ten stands in front of you when he's done washing your backside and rare. You can feel the warmth of his body and how his manhood keeps dangling and swinging with every move he makes. It lights taps onto your stomach each and every time he washes underneath your neck. He goes from your neck, down to your shoulders and then boobs. You're actually pleased that he's not taking advantage of you and instead washing you thoroughly. He washes underneath your boobs with care, on your armpits- and he even cleans your belly button inside....which is something you found weird. But when he gets to your stomach he takes extra care.

Ten feels bad when seeing the bruises in shades of red, pink and purple as well as black all over your stomach. Damn. Instead of using the scrub, he takes on a cloth and rubs gently over it. You feel a sharp pain from your stomach and instantly your hand goes over your stomach- which automatically gets onto of Ten as he stops while looking at you.

"Do you need me to wash down there or are you good with that?" He carefully asks. "Let me do it, so that you don't hurt yourself?"

You don't know what he's saying, and the tears that built up pour out again as you hiccup and look down.

Ten doesn't know why you're crying, but he takes it as a sign to continue. He thinks you might be crying from the pain. Your breathing is rigid and he tries not to make it hurt, but there's no other way. You're entire stomach looks badly injured. Sometimes Ten forgot what Jaehyun was capable off, but seeing it with his own eyes always made him avoid the older guy.

Ten gets to your pelvis and lower half, and just like he did with your buttock, he takes the scrub and briefly washes over it. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

He goes onto your legs and cleans under both your feet as they looked in dire shape. "Jaehyun really-"

"Really what?"

Ten is struck when immediately turning his head to the corner and seeing Jaehyun with a bag. Ten goes back to washing you keeping himself tranquil. "You really fucked her up."

"Johnny said so."

Ten rolls his eyes. Of course Johnny said so. Although everyone feared Johnny as there boss and tried to be as obedient as possible, no one could do it better then Jaehyun and Taeyong. Those two idiolized Johnny to one hell of another degree.

As Ten ponders on this, he finds it weird how actually Jaehyun allowed you to take a bath... "Did Johnny also say she can take a bath?"

Expecting an answer back, Ten is disappointed when Jaehyun simply folds his arms and ignores him. Sometimes he really tried to befriend the other unit team mates, but they were another breed.

Upon finishing, Ten gets up and mumbles in your ear. "Sorry okay babe. I'd never hit a woman. But be strong for your Yong. He's going through hell tryna meet Johnny's high demands."

You make out some words but the rest of the sentence is muffled and you can only look at his lips. Your eyes is hazy and when Ten looks between them both, he feels bad.

Although he was in the gang mafia group, his main post was with the surveillance and equipment team dealing in hacking. He was never in the front line. Most of the times when he saw what the members of the front line would do, he wonder how he got himself stuck in such a work field.

Jaehyun takes over as he moves closer to you and hands you the towel and the points to the bag. "Get dry and change."

With that he leaves the bathroom. Ten once again takes heed in helping you out. After helping you dry yourself, he searches through the bag and sees a boxer. Helping you put it on, he adjusts the size by pulling onto the strings and then he goes onto a long sleeved shirt...which on you it looks baggy. Seeing the logo and the size and color, Ten figures out that you're not wearing anything of your style but instead this is from Jaehyun's wardrobe. He then puts on the black sweat pants and pulling the strings to adjust it to your waist before finally finding some socks. They're also big, but socks always fit and so they fit you fine.

Ten takes it a step further and pulls all your hair to the back deciding to braid it. It's a skill he learnt when he was growing up with his family and had to do his sisters hair. So doing your hair kinda reminds him of his sister. His heart pings when looking at you. You didn't ask for this.

Once you're done, Ten helps you walk to the shower door. He opens it up and you limp out. Jaehyun is leaning against the wall looking at the floor.

Seeing your limping figure and seeing you all dressed up in his clothes, he squats down and picks you up again tossing you over his shoulder and begins taking down the stairs again.

You feel much better after bathing, but still your body aches with the way Jaehyun holds your stomach against his shoulder. Upon getting away from the light house, your eyes make note of the darkness leading to the basement where you once where.

Upon Jaehyun getting back he spots Yuta and Jaemin. "Jaemin check on her. Give her medicine or put alcohol over her wounds, whatever she needs to get well."

"Well?" Yuta scrunches his eyebrows. "Are you crazy?"

"No I'm not." Jaehyun mumbles before moving bac to his seat on the corner and leaving the two looking down at you. Jaehyun put you back on the floor and now you're seated up right.

Taeyong slumps on his bed after a long day and night. He picks up his phone from the night stand and checks the time. 02h00 am. Looking at the wallpaper of you leaning close to his chest, his heart tightens. How many more tasks would he have to do to get back to you? He's been working extremely hard for Johnny, but yet Johnny still had his hands on you.

This evening was almost a breaking point for Taeyong, he was tasked to torture Chenle in the most vile ways to get information out of him on how to get his dad, Kun. But even though it was something he had to do, he didn't want to do it. Inside of him, seeing Chenle strapped up to a chair and looking fearful...only reminded him of you. Chenle was hot headed and refused to give up any information...that's until Taeyong was no longer lenient and actually began the torture. After stuffing a gag ball in Chenle's mouth, Taeyong felt the most heavy when striking his first blow across Chenle's face.

The first punch alone left Chenle with a bleeding eyebrow and forming bump. When Chenle looking horrendously scared turning back to Taeyong- he wasn't prepared for the way that Taeyong would unleash all his anger. Another hard strike against Chenle's face, almost punctured out Chenle's left eye and by now he was feeling scared. He couldn't even talk because of the gag ball- but that didn't stop Taeyong from swinging his fists and treating Chenle like a punching bag.

The strikes weren't only limited to his face, but to his abdomen as well. And when things got tough because Chenle still didn't want to realease information, Taeyong picked up a hammer. And with Chenle's hands being strapped as well Taeyong beat the hammer excruciatingly hard and stubbed Chenle of his pinky finger.

From screaming and yelling without being heard (due to the gag ball) and Chenle's whole face turning red with veins popping all over his forehead from how Taeyong beat him up and broke on his fingers one by one- Just made Taeyong feel regretful. He normally wouldn't feel remorse when doing his job. But yet, beating Chenle up only brought his mind to you. Who knows, maybe somewhere in the basement the same abuse was happening to you.

Taeyong sighs and shuts his screen off. He feels so bad for coming to visit you. If he hadn't visited you, then you wouldn't have been caught and this wouldn't have happened.

Meanwhile Johnny walks into his office with blood being covered on most of his suit as well as face. Taeyong was weak. Is what Johnny notes. While Johnny sat on the corner of the room and watched as Taeyong beat Chenle up this afternoon- it came to Johnny's awareness as how Taeyong was fighting Chenle. Although physically strong and he did a number on Chenle with a broken jaw, swollen eyes and busted nose, Johnny could still see right through Taeyong that his mind was elsewhere.

It's why after long dreadful hours he sent Taeyong to go and sleep- so that he himself could finish Chenle off.

And once Johnny started, he started by his typical standard way of chopping off one of Chenle's toes. Even though Chenle was ready to speak a long time ago while Taeyong was beating him up, Johnny wanted to make sure that Chenle wouldn't lie. So after cutting 3 out of 10 toes and breaking Chenle's arms- he confirmed what he wanted to know.

Switching on his tv, he watches you sleeping on the ground while Jaehyun sits on the corner of your room. After telling Jaehyun to look after you and make sure you're okay, he knows he did a good job. Because you don't look as shabby as you did before. You look proper and even clean. Leaning back on his seat, he lights up a cigarette looking out his high view window.

Taeyong was always his prized possession, and Johnny wanted to keep it that way forever.

So after getting the report back of your condition, Johnny decides to give you a few more days or even weeks of rest before he can allow Taeyong to see you.

And so it happens, as the days pass by and your condition slightly gets better with the help of Jaemin constantly checking up on you, Johnny makes sure to try and toughen Taeyong up- by getting him involved in other gang mafia activities that still needed to be done.

By the start of the third week, when Taeyong feels his heart becoming numb every second, when morning comes he makes his way to Johnny's office by routine, as if being summoned for the next mission. However for this week Taeyong is surprised with what Johnny tells him. "Your next mission is in the basement."

Feeling fearful of what Johnny has up his sleeves, Taeyong composes his emotions. It' been 2 weeks since he last saw you, and the last time he did see you, you were beaten up to a pulp and that was the only image he could remember.

But now following Johnny to the basement, Taeyong wonders what state he'll see you in.

And just to his dismay you're strapped on the chair. Although your attire has changed, the patches on your face reveal the type of pain you've been through. "Babe.." He can only whisper when he sees Yuta scouting around you.

"Tae-" Your eyes get watery and you begin whimpering while crying lightly. "Tae..." Is the only thing you can croak out while trying not to break down.

Taeyong's heart heaves in his chest when hearing and seeing how broken and scared you look. He swallows a lump down his throat, hoping that Johnny won't do anything that's maniac.

"You know that day, I figured something out." Johnny states while walking near to you. His hand touches your shoulder and jolt a little. "While you were beating Chenle up."

Johnny smirks when watching Taeyong's eyes snap up to his, just as he feels your shoulder stiffen. From what Jaehyun said, you were able to hear from your right ear while your left ear seemed damaged. Either way, you could hear him. And hearing that Taeyong beat Chenle, makes you peer into Taeyong's eyes. Surely, it wasn't the Chenle she knew. Surely it wasn't her brother.

"I saw the way he looked at you. And I saw the way you were hitting him." Johnny remarks. "It's true that you gave your all in beating him up. However it's fair to say, you didn't give your all because he was still alive."

Johnny mentions when letting go of your shoulders and he moves to Yuta.

"I made Jaehyun look after her while Yuta did a background check on her and while you were out there hunting for Quin Kun's head." Johnny chuckles. "And it got me thinking how it's exactly the same reason you run away. Whenever I put you on the mission to look for Kun's head, you come back with no results. I began wondering, why only for Kun's head do you struggle? You never struggled to get Doyoung's head. You never struggled to get even Jungwoo's head- and he was the fucking prime minister. You even got Jisung's head, and he was just a kid. I've trained you to be merciless all your life, and you've brought back great results. However when it comes to Kun, you struggle a lot. And I wondered why."

"Tae..." You whimper breathlessly.

Taeyong can't bring his eyes to you, as he can feel the tears already leaving your eyes. Johnny liking the reaction of Taeyong looking down to the ground while you cry, gets him to walk in front of you.

Johnny crouches down in front of you and taps your cheek. "I did a background check on you, and it seems you were adopted from a young age. To a wealthy Chinese family." Johnny smirks and gets back up looking to Taeyong. "I sent you, three years ago on the mission to kill Kun. And I remember how you came back empty handed saying you couldn't track Kun and that it wasn't him."

Taeyong inhales deeply getting his eyes to glare holes into Johnny's smug eyes.

"I dropped it and searched for another target. I mean, if we were gonna take over the Chinese business market we'd need to get rid of the most successful Chinese business man, which is Kun. And if Kun was undefeatable by my best pupil, by you Taeyong- then it meant we weren't strong enough. I put down Kun thinking that we needed to be stronger. And so I trained you and groomed you to be harder and stronger so that the next time we'd meet him, he'd be of no match. But no, I was wrong again. I sent you for the second time, you came back empty. I sent you for the third time, you came back empty. And what makes me laugh is that all your excuses made me think that Kun is some motherfucking top gang mafia in China. It was always the Kun mission that you kept failing. So when I got word that Kun moved to Kwangya City, I thought this was it. We can nail him when he's not on his home turf. I sent you again. And for the fifth time, you came back empty. That's when I knew something wasn't right."

You can't believe what your ear is hearing. Your eyes are watering and you're whimpering inside with your trembling lips. Taeyong lied to you.

"So when I caught your little bitch, I thought she was the reason why you've been slacking off." Johnny continues. "We brought her in, beat her up, in the hopes that you'd do your job. You managed to do your other activities and killing jobs successfully- but still, when it came to Kun, you couldn't kill him and I wondered why. Why my best elite man, couldn't kill some old Chinese guy. And why he also couldn't kill his son. I killed Chenle by myself since you couldn't do it. And after killing him, it dawned on me, perhaps I should send someone else to get the Kun job done."

That makes Taeyong's heart beat just as his eyes enlarge. "You didn't."

Johnny smirks. "I love pairing you and Jaehyun together on missions because I get twice the deadly combo I was looking for. Of course when you're separated you bring back results that make me proud of you two. But I thought to myself, if Taeyong can't get the job done, then maybe he's other half can."

"No..." You can't even hold yourself from wailing when just in time, Jaehyun walks in with one hand dragging a lanky body without a head, and on Jaehyun's other hand, he holds onto a clamped ball of black hair that's mixed with blood. A head that's dripping blood from it's cut neck. You instantly recognize the head and body. You recognized the body in the white suit instantly because the suit was a present you bought for your dad- and when seeing the head on Jaehyun's other hand your heart breaks when a grueling cry erupts from your lips. "DADDY!"

Hearing you cry rattles and destroys Taeyong in many devastating ways, but seeing Kun too dead and spilt from his body completely ruins and tears Taeyong down. He acts on impulse when his body lunges for Jaehyun and he balls a fist knocking Jaehyun straight to the ground dropping the bodies.

Jaehyun’s blood stains Taeyong’s knuckles dark red as Taeyong but doesn't stop there and keeps punching with extreme rage. Your cries are all that Taeyong can hear and he doesn't give Jaehyun a chance or even time to collect himself. Between him and Jaehyun- Taeyong was always the strongest and he made show to demonstrate his strength upon Jaehyun when using his fists to destroy.

Johnny watches nonchalantly while Yuta runs to Taeyong and joins to on the fight. Giving Jaehyun enough time to collect himself while Yuta distracts Taeyong- Jaehyun unleashes his anger over Taeyong. He tosses Taeyong from his waist all the way down to the concrete floors before getting ontop of him and starts pounding into Taeyong’s face over and over again. Taeyong tries to block out your cries but it's impossible as he sees you bleeding on the floor. He stops fighting completely, allowing Jaehyun to beat you up.

It's only because he sees Johnny kick your chair to the ground and press his foot over your head squeezing you by pressing you done. "If you're done I'd like to carry on my monologue." Johnny boredly speaks.

Jaehyun fuming in rage helps Yuta up as they both get away from a puffed and bruised up Taeyong.

Your eyes are sad just as your face turns red from all the pain that Johnny emits onto you by crashing your head. Taeyong tries to see from his one good eye but it's equally just as bad. Johnny speaks. "I was thinking what could be your punishment. And seeing that hurting her makes you weak, I thought of something better. And what can be better then cutting you loose? I've decided to let you go. Of course you can always come back if you want and find that out there isn't good for you without her, but regardless I'm letting you go. Take any car you want, heck I'm even giving you permission to take my cars if you'd like. And you can even have your girlfriend back. I'm not gonna chase her, you can have her back. There's no catch. Just a clock ticking. One hour I want you out and gone."

Johnny puts his hand in his pocket and tosses it in the air to Yuta. "Get him any car he wants. Jaehyun I want you to place the bodies of Kun and Chenle in which ever car he picks, let them bury the family, it' only fair. And Taeyong, get cleaned up from Jaemin, you can take your pathetic crying girlfriend as well." Johnny removes his foot against the side of her face and struts out of the basement before moving back. "Oh, and you can take her to her fathers house, her house is destroyed. In his will her father was sweet enought to leave everything in her name."

Just as Yuta and Jaehyun follow after their boss, Taeyong struggles to get up before limping over to you. You're crying and sobbing profusely and you look so small curled on the floor. Your legs are bloody and your clothes are tattered, your hair is messy and tangled and covered in dust from the ceiling. You don't seem to notice Taeyong and he's afraid to approach you but he knows that he has to get you somewhere safe. Even if he's weak, he forces himself to carry you bridal style as he limps out of the basement to Jaemin.

Jaemin doesn't ask questions and patches your bleeding head and puts a number of bandages around Taeyong.

"How long did they give you?" Jaemin mumbles.

"An hour."

"Will you be okay?"

Taeyong doesn't even know what to say or respond when looking at you as you're curled up again with your eyes closed as you silently cry. Taeyong whispers back. "My punishment is watching her suffer while being around her. He knows I'm helpless because of what I've done. I'm just hoping she'll forgive me.

And so when Taeyong picks out a car, and Jaehyun is done depositing the bodies of your family in the boot Taeyong begins driving. The car is silent with the both of you staring ahead in deep thought. Taeyong doesn't know what to say to break the ice and you don't even want to speak to him. It's only when he pulls up your father's mansion do you begins to sob out. It hurts Taeyong, and he when cautiously puts his hand on you - you slap it away and get out the car. Your cry worsens when you open the boot and see the bloody plastic in which your brother and father are. You try to bring them out of the boot by yourself- but when you see Taeyong helping you bring the plastic out your tears halt.

"I'm sorry babe-"

"Don't you ever call me babe." You snap your head around. You're both beaten and look busted- but it's you that's more heartbroken. Taeyong feels like throwing up and his eyes water when your own eyes don't stop imploring. "You hurt me, Taeyong. And I hate you. I hate you! For doing this. For forcing me to watch this every day!" You scream at him and throw his car keys at him. Taeyong catches them with trembling hands and looks around for you. "I won't forgive you. You're the reason why my father is gone. Why my family is dead! Why Chenle is dead. If it weren't for you, then none of this would have happened." You stumble back being too weak to keep your eyes open as you wail out. "You knew this would happen but still-"

Taeyong's eyes are watery when he holds onto your arms. "Babe I'm sorry- I really am- I…"

"Don't touch me Taeyong." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you try to get away from him not having the strength to look at him. But Taeyong still comes close as he tries to explain to you. "You couldn't even protect me, you allowed them to kill my family- and you get close to me by lying- you just wanted to kill my father- I hate you! Get away from me-" you implore pushing him back by his shoulders roughly.

"At first it was just orders," Taeyong can hear his own heart breaking when you keep refusing his touch and you don't want to look at him. "But three years ago I fell in love with you, and didn't wanna do it anymore. I love-"

"I hate you-"

"Everything changed when I realized just how much you mean to me. I fell in love with your world, the peace, your serenity, I fell…baby I fell in love with you-" Taeyong tries to get close again while looking into your eyes even though you shake your head and try to get away from him. "Babe I fell for you-"

"I trusted you-"

"Trust me now baby please-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" You break. You can't help but look at him in disgust, sadness and anger all at once. You can't believe that this was once your whole world, you used to look at him with such love because your whole heart wanted him. But now, his whole features disgust you. "Don't you ever, ever come near me again. Get out of my life Taeyong and go back to that hell."

"Babe please-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Your wailing and screeching hit Taeyong where it hurts. He backs off and looks at you with sadness, hurt and despair. "I can't stand you anymore. Get out of here. Please."

He nods his head, walks away from the car, tears streaming down his face and leaving you in front the plastic bag of the dead bodies of your father and brother. From the rearview mirror Taeyong watches you kneel down on the ground as you slowly reach into the body bag and grab one of the two heads and put it on your knee while wiping away the blood. Taeyong hits the wheel in anger- but it's in his anger when he realizes Johnny's plan.

Johnny said: "Of course you can always come back if you want and find that out there isn't good for you without her," Back then Taeyong didn't understand- but after his car is several of yards away his eyes widen. They're gonna kill you. Even though Johnny said there's no catch, he knew better then to believe it when Jaehyun wasn't anywhere near when you left. He stops the car and abruptly gets out running back to you.

And just as he gets in sight of the mansion which once belonged to Kun, he sees you struggling and wrestling with Jaehyun who looks like he came out from the plastic bag. In a quick movement, Jaehyun brings out a gun-

"NO!" Taeyong shouts.

It's in moments like these when he realizes that a gangster love isn't so sweet. He loved you for so long and thought that you'd be able to make it far with him. But he failed to protect you or your family, and even though knowing that loving you would kill him, he still drew closer to you. And now he regrets his decisions. When Jaehyun pulls the trigger and a loud blasting sound is heard, and your head sprouts out blood- Taeyong feels his whole heart shatter and splitting into two

News:

"Another night in hell city as criminal activities continue to manifest. With cases and reports being filled day, night and regularly by the hour, as drug exporters, mob executioners and many more corrupt the streets. Legal advisors of Kwangya inform and advice fellow citizens to keep off the streets and stay indoors.” Renjun reads the script stationed on the screen before looking down and reading the next point. "Unfortunately, our very own representative Kun, and former anchor woman Y/n, were killed and found last night in the dumps."

Renjun can't even begin to express his troubled heart. Two weeks ago they heard you were kidnapped, and then just last week someone reported seeing you, and just before a search party could be sent out, they heard the devastating news.

Renjun shakes his head in disbelief turning his gaze off the camera to glance at at his sheet of papers. He had to be professional and couldn't even shed a tear on camera. So he huffs up and continues.

"According to reports made by various sources, the people of Kwangya should be extremely careful or they might be victims in uncalled-for events. That's what it is, uncalled-for and dangerous acts. Following Y/n's suspicion, police have a led on who they think the killer, or mafia member might be. He goes by the name of Lee Taeyong. And his activities line up to the crimes being investigated. After the break we'll report live from Kwangya streets to hear what locals and shop owners have to say about the disturbance of the neighboring city. It is now 19:30 and you're watching Channel 5 news."

Taeyong stands outside of the tv station new building and sees all the flowers as well as candles lit up for everyone favorite anchor woman. He bends down and his lips tremble. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. But I will avenge you, and your father, and brother."

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hikaritakaishi · 4 months

Text

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning [My Movie Review]

♡ ! SPOILER ALERT! ♡

This review will contain spoilers of the movie, continue reading if you already saw the movie, or just don’t mind the spoiler! Enjoy & comment something if you want to share an opinion! ♡

After what seemed ages of waiting, Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning finally aired in Portugal, on May 16, 2024, several months after it’s national premiere in Japan, on October 27, 2023. I was worried that it wouldn't come to my country, but perhaps due to the huge acceptance of Digimon Adventure: LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA, the distributor made the hearts of the DigiDestined from the most hidden corner of Europe warm again and brought us the sequel. Thank you remembering us once again! ♡

I really tried to keep my expectations as neutral as possible until the day I went to see the movie, which was pretty difficult, due to the fact that I was constantly being bombarded with online information about it, whether on Tumblr or Twitter, or through video recommendations on Youtube. I was so excited for the movie, that I had to control myself immensely not to go see the spoilers.

Initial considerations? I like it. In general. But let's go in parts!

This will be an analysis of what I consider to be the most important points of the movie and what caught my attention the most. A personal analysis, so don't take it too seriously if I don't talk about a certain point or a certain specific topic, I probably just missed that.

Firstly, I would like to comment on the initial dynamics of the movie.

Everything seems to happen much faster here than it did in Kizuna. Despite being two movies with practically the same time span, this one seemed to go by much faster. But it might just be me. [LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA have 94 minutes, and The Beginning have 87 minutes total].

We're introduced to the key plot problem pretty quickly too.

People's digital devices are glitching, and the same message is repeating itself on all of them, not just on the phones and televisions, but on computers and large digital screens in cities all around the world. And this all around the world is very important, because it not only brings us closer to what will be the future of humanity and it’s increasing contact with the Digimon and the Digital World, but it opens the path we take since 2012 [time of the movie] until to the epilogue of 02 (which the production team and Toei animation seem to insist on wanting to keep canon, despite all the script inconsistencies it can cause, or how different from the initial profile of each character it may be).

“May everyone have friends, may everyone have a partner Digimon”

It's the message. Meanwhile, we are told that a suspicious and unknown Digitama appeared in the sky of Tokyo, right above the Tokyo Tower, and it’s been there for a while. Taichi and Koushiro are showned to be trying to help resolve this issue as professionals in the field of diplomacy and technology respectively, but without major progress.

I think it's important to highlight that they are the only two characters from the first season of Adventure who appear in this movie, and even so, without any direct speech or great relevance, beyond contextualization, and later Taichi as well again for the context of “space- time”, in that frame we see in the trailer of the movie with Hikari, which we later discover is located in Hikarigaoka, where Rui also lived when he had his first contact with Ukkomon.

The focus is on the characters from 02, or at least, it should have been. But as in Digimon Adventure Tri, this focus is overshadowed by the introduction of another new character in the story: Rui Owhada [or Lui, in Japanese pronunciation].

Rui [or Lui] is a much more charismatic character than Meiko was in Digimon Adventure Tri. There is no doubt about that.

Meiko was a somewhat empty character. A static character without great charisma. The only pleasant scenes she had were driven by the other characters around her (namely Mimi).

Rui doesn't. Rui is a character on his own. With a much more aggressive personality and a much more interesting past. The only issue here is the length of the movie: This movie is too short; too short for us to get attached to this character and actually be able feel empathy for everything we are shown about him. So short, that it's difficult to develop both this new character and the others around him, which, by the way, is a shame.

I mostly went to see the movie in hopes to see more from the 02 cast, and not because, again, of a random character they created for this new script. Just like what happened in Tri.

And this is important because notice that one of the most complex and best-built characters in the Adventure universe is literally the character with the most screen time: Takeru.

Analyzing Takeru's character as a whole is extremely time-consuming, because he was in every season, and practically involved in all the main events of the plot, either by himself or through the relationships he establishes throughout the plot, which feed the character's emotional charge. Which makes him a very complex character.

There's no time for that here. There is no time to establish a relationship between Rui and the other characters, nor to establish a relationship between Rui… and the audience.

Rui's childhood is very shocking and once again, Digimon brings a very strong narrative based on a complex and deep family plot.

We had already had examples in Adventure of family issues with Takeru and Yamato, Koushiro, and in 02 with Iori and also Ken. To a certain extent, even with Miyako. But here we reach a higher level of complexity... and violence (remember that the age to see the movie is over 12 years old. I can totally understand why).

Rui is physically abused and neglected by his mother, who leaves him out in the cold, starving when he makes a childish mistake or does something she doesn't like... when he is only four years old. His father has a very serious illness and depends on his wife to survive. Rui is then shown as a sorrowful child, lonely and without any support network. We've never had anything in the Digimon Adventure series so… raw. The aura of the movie is deeply heavy and dark.

The evolutions and battles in this movie are far from being the focus, which probably frustrated many people who went to see the movie for this more dynamic side of the anime.

It is a film with a moral content and even touches on the philosophical, about the bonds we create with others and their nature, about how we should relate to others and learn about them every day we have them in our lives.

It's about healthy communication, and how it's okay to correct the people around us, as long as it's made based with pure intentions. Because love is not omissive. Love corrects, love draws the other's attention for what really matters, in the form of love. In the form of companionship. Nothing physical or superficial is worth the price of a real bond.

The movie really grew with it’s audience. It is not, at all, a movie targeted for new fans of the franchise, or for those who know little about the Adventure series universe. It's for those who know the characters, for those who grew up with them. If you don't know the characters, you will miss details and conversations that are important to really understand the plot as a whole.

Daisuke and Ken look on Rui’s past with him. They see the arrival of Ukkomon in his life, who should’ve bring peace and comfort, but it is only the beginning of all his problems.

Let's take a break from the movie's plot to talk about the characters of 02.

I'm going to divide them into groups, because it seems like they individually… don't have much progress or very memorable scenes, honestly. It doesn't even make sense to separate them, in my opinion, and you'll understand why.

♡ Daisuke & Iori

There is not much to talk about them here. Daisuke and Iori are the flattest characters in the movie. Iori much more than Daisuke, let's be honest. Iori barely speaks, and has very few relevant scenes.

Daisuke works at a ramen restaurant, as he always wanted, where he gathers his friends to talk about the problems they are facing right at the beginning of the movie.

His personality is practically the same, Daisuke from 02 is the same Daisuke from The Beginning, and even the same character as in Kizuna, he is just taller here and wears different clothes. He still aspires to have his own ramen business and is extremely focused on his career goals. Which was predictable, given the way he talks about his dream in 02.

Daisuke's only two relevant scenes are seconds long: the first when he convinces Rui that the bond of friendship he and his Digimon partner share is much more than something superficial; it's something that comes from the heart, and that no object makes a difference between them, namely the Digivice, (something we also expected to hear from Daisuke in 02, which justifies my opinion that in the meantime... he remains the same).

The other is a scene that had enormous potential, but is cut short by a comical moment in which Miyako pops up.

Daisuke is talking to Ken seriously about Rui, and how he and his Digimon could understand each other better if they just communicate more effectively and directly, and Ken comments that Daisuke's more serious side is very pleasant and rarely appears. However, Miyako speaks up and dismisses the subject. Sadly.

We could have had a conversation here that could tell us more about Daisuke’s presente self and way he sees life now.

*sigh* Anyway.

Iori, again, doesn't speak much. Seems to only have intermediary interventions, and serves as a “pair” for Daisuke and Rui in the snowball fight that we see at the end of the movie. A very beautiful scene, don't get me wrong, but only if we see it from the perspective of Ken and Miyako, and Hikari and Takeru. I'll talk about that now.

♡ Ken & Miyako

Ken and Miyako are two characters who seem to grow more together than apart within the movie's plot. Which is natural, given that we know at the end of 02 that they become in fact a couple, and that they build a family together in the future. Here we see the first steps towards their future as a couple.

As expected, nothing explicit or direct is given to us about the nature of their relationship, but we can understand that there is progress, especially by the end of the movie, before the snowball fight, when Miyako tells Ken something that seems extremely vague, but actually means something.

“Let's do it together! " What? I don't think they are aware yet. Ken also seemed very confused about it.

“ Keep thinking Ken, we have to find another solution. “ We also see Miyako trying to support Ken at that moment when they have to make a decision about the future of Ukkomon and the world.

Here comes what I said above: Love cannot be omissive. We cannot expect the least from those we love. If we know the potential of the person we have by our side, we have to support them. If we see that they are trying to go further, we must support their journey and be a source of advice and rest. Alone we can go faster, but with the right company we can certainly go further.

And I think this is where the movie touches on something really important.

It is in these small moments that we see that they really want to tell the audience something beyond, but we need to have a fine power of perception.

No conversation or comment is random, everything contributes to the story. Digimon Adventure has always been made up of metaphors and subjectivities, it is necessary to know how to interpret and be attentive.

In the midst of that dilemma of whether or not to defeat Ukkomon that we talked about a moment ago in relation to Ken and Miyako, we have another moment that I consider important between Takeru and Hikari, which for those who don't know the characters, can take it as a normal conversation of two people who know each other well. Too well, even.

♡ Takeru & Hikari

Keeping in mind their journey, and everything they went through together, is the key to understand the nature of the relationship they share now. But before that:

Much like Ken and Miyako, Takeru and Hikari do not exist separately in the plot. It's ridiculously difficult to separate them. If you talk about one, you have to talk about the other.

At the beginning we see them together in the city when the electronic devices break down, and this dynamic continues throughout the entire movie.

They practically always walk side by side, Hikari takes the front seat in Takeru's car, and even when they are talking to Rui and trying to understand what happened to him in his past, they were a nucleus apart from the others. Nothing new, really. More of the same. But it's in that conversation I spoke about earlier that we understand something that is even part of the main moral of the movie: the way they now communicate with each other now, is different.

Anyone who has followed Takeru and Hikari throughout the series knows that the main “problem” in their relationship has always been direct communication.

Exposing things to others as they are is scary. And none of them were good at doing that.

Deliberating about feelings, exposing what disturbs us, what distresses us, what we think of a certain attitude of the other person. That was always Takeru and Hikari's problem and what hindered the possible evolution of their friendship, into a real love relationship.

In Tri we discover that Hikari starts to look at Takeru differently. And we know that Takeru has concrete feelings for Hikari (Said by the actor who plays Takeru's voice) And then? It's done? Things… are much more complicated than that.

They first need to accept the situation in question (And I tell you this as someone who also developed a romantic relationship with a childhood friend. It's not easy. Trust me. It's far from easy!)

And far from being quick.

It requires a lot of deliberation mostly. Just accepting the fact that we see that person we grew up with differently, someone who has always been part of our life, and we can lose them. Just because we developed feelings. Is scary. There's a lot to lose. It's all or nothing. Especially when one side has trauma associated with romantic relationships. (remembering that Takeru's parents are divorced) it's even worse.

What seems to exist between them in The Beginning was the result of a long process. But effective, it seems to me. Whatever decision they made, it went… pretty well.

Takeru is completely against defeating Ukkomon, from the moment he realizes that this could also imply the disappearance of his Digimon partner.

He probably saw the suffering Taichi and Yamato went through when Agumon and Gabumon disappeared and the suffering he would go through if he lose Patamon... again. And he is extremely vocal and firm in what he says and what he thinks about all of that. Impulsive really.

Until Hikari intervenes. Which cuts through his catastrophic reasoning. She asks him to think, opening up a new perspective on the situation.

Here we have a conversation between them that is quite lengthy (compared to the fast action standard of the rest of the movie) in which Hikari tries her best to make Takeru use reason and not emotion in his deliberation on the situation.

Takeru who, remember, whenever “darkness” or “sacrifice” is mentioned, leaves his rationality aside, becomes blind with pain because of his past traumas.

Hikari's role here is almost the same as Miyako’s in Ken's case: calling to earth and calming Takeru, always in an understanding way, because you can see that she knows where that feeling comes from and that position initially adopted by him (and it is something which she can almost predict would happen, by the speed with which she responds) but she knows that he is better than those triggers that make him impulsively speak based on emotion and neglect reason.

It's about getting to know each other. Knowing how to talk to our person about the most difficult topics. Because it is necessary to strengthen your union. Predict reactions, and be there to calm them down, because you may even know that the person is not to blame for the feelings and traumas they carry, but believe that they are bigger than them. And expect the same from the other side.

The way Miyako knew that Ken could find a solution, he just needed to think a little more. Hikari understood perfectly where Takeru's impulsive reaction came from, but she knew that if she appeal to his racional side he would be able to think of a better alternative to the problem, which he thought would be the end of the world.

That's why I separated this analysis into groups (although the first one isn't... substantial) and decided to analyze the characters together, because that's what this movie is about.

It's about who you are with your people, and the bond you share with them. In a world so individualized, so selfish and so distant (largely because of technology, which distances us from each other), I found it a very necessary message.

And the role of adults? With children and more painful lives?

It is to understand that children are also humans. Who also think, and feel, and understand things. Just like them. Adults tend to forget that they were once children themselves.

We already saw this topic being developed in Adventure 02, but seeing Rui as an adult, reaching to his mother in the past, and drawing her attention to the fact that she neglects her son, is something very touching. Sometimes, we just need a wake-up call, and we can change the future. Ours, and our future with others.

The DigiDestined of 02 encouraged Rui not to give up on someone he loved, Ukkomon, because after all, he only acted the way he acted because he thought it would make Rui happier, even though he failed. Several times.

Ukkomon basically gave Rui everything he thought he needed, everything he wanted. But this is not always ideal.

He acted with his partner's happiness in mind, and this blinded him to the risks he was putting him into. He idealized their entire relationship, and everyone's relationship with him. Instead of being, real. And real things are never perfect.

Rui wanted friends? He gave him friends. He even reprogrammed his parents. They became manufactured humans. And the movie is about reality and accepting it as imperfect as it is.

Do you know what that reminded me of? That whole fantasy created by Ukkomon of “perfect world where Rui is never sad and everything is wonderful?” The fantasies in which the characters from 02 cast were trapped in at the end of the series. That world created with the characters’ deepest desires.

Takeru wanted his family united. Iori wanted his father back and to be able to show him the Digital Word. Miyako wanted attention. Ken… wanted to redeem himself. Hikari wanted peace. It's exactly the same thing.

Think about it with me: For example, Takeru's parents could’ve stay together, they could never have divorced, but they would still have problems. They would argue, and there would be conflicts. Which doesn't mean that this wouldn't traumatize their children even more. Maybe the divorce was in fact the best option for all four of them.

Ken felt he deserved the same suffering he inflicted on others. Would that really be the answer to appease his soul?

But none of it was real.

Not even Hikari's utopia of a world constantly at peace is real. Not even the absence of siblings in Miyako's life would solve anything. Things are not black and white and really, what we want is not always what we need.

Rui just needed to talk to Ukkomon and be sincere.

Where is Mimi tho?!

I will end with a few quick notes that I think are worth highlighting: First, the music and animation in general. As expected, they are excellent.

Very well done visually, appealing scenes, and the last snowball fight scene is so simple… but so delightful.

Life is made up of beautiful moments as well as tragic moments, light and darkness.

Did you notice that part of the movie takes place in a much dark environment, and when the main action is resolved, the movie gains light? I believe that is not just because!

Visually it can be very strong because there is blood, there is violence, there are physical wounds, it conveys the affliction in a very literal way.

Another thing that was expected to happen, but that probably wasn't even thought of properly when the Epilogue of 02 was made, was the problematic of whether or not everyone deserves, has enough morals and ethics, to have a Digimon partner.

How do you maintain peace between humans when you give them free access to machines of war and mass destruction? How do we build the world we see bz the end of 02 where everyone lives in peace even under these circumstances? Which is the the role of the government?

We'll probably need one more movie to find out.

Honestly, I hope you enjoyed this short (not... that short in fact) and sincere review. If I were to give stars, I would give the film 4/5 stars.

It could’ve been better, sure, if there was at least another half hour of animation.

But I don't complain. Despite that, I liked it. I cried, I laughed, just like I cried and laughed when I saw Digimon in my childhood, and that's everything for me. I was surprised by the message of the movie and the way they chose to visually convey it to us. Either way, I hope there's one more movie. To finally conclude the arc of all these characters, and finally, reach the epilogue of 02 (but in a dignified way please).

♡ Thank you once again Digimon ♡

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trillscienceofficer · 13 days

Text

from Cinefantastique Vol 30 #9-10, November 1998

ROXANN DAWSON: The actress who plays fiery Klingon half-breed engineer Torres on coping with the mommy track.

By Anna L. Kaplan

The fiery B’Elanna Torres, played by Roxann Dawson, found herself in a serious, adult relationship with Tom Paris (Robert Duncan McNeill) during VOYAGER'S fourth season. Their earlier friendship was heading in this direction during the third season, but finally blossomed into something else this year. As an additional challenge for the actress, Dawson had to play increasingly steamy scenes with McNeill while going through her first pregnancy. The writers opted to hide the pregnancy, with the exception of a special two part episode called “The Killing Game.” For the most part, Dawson found herself under a newly invented engineering smock, or behind a console, or shot in closeup. “Mostly I get knocked out in the first 10 minutes of the episode, and recover somewhere near the ending after all the action sequences have been shot,” she said. “That’s how we’re working around it.”

Dawson spoke about these challenges in November of 1997, having finished more than half of the season, and not knowing what would happen later. She was seven months pregnant at the time. She said, ‘I'm feeling great. I’ve had a good pregnancy so far. It’s only recently that I’ve been slowed down a bit.” She added some wishful thinking, saying, “If I’m late, which I probably will be, it will almost coincide with our hiatus, which is just a grand coincidence, and that would be great. Hopefully, they could at least get my presence in the last few episodes, if only just a little bit. So if everything goes well I won’t miss any episodes.”

Dawson enthused, “I love the scripts they’ve been coming up with. I love our new cast addition. I think it’s adding a little spice to all of the characters as we deal with Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan). I’m just really impressed with the scripts. I think that they've been very strong this year and I like what they’re doing with my character.”

The episode “Day of Honor” brought Paris and B’Elanna together, while they were waiting to die, floating in space. It proved a difficult show to do. For one thing, the actors were shot against bluescrcen, visual effects to be added later. “I liked it a lot,” said Dawson. “It was all special effects. We also had to go in later on and loop every single line of that. Plus they needed to edit quite a bit because of the budget. It’s very expensive to do so many scenes in front of a bluescreen. I felt that it lost some of its bite because of these things. It’s tough enough doing emotionally revealing scenes, but to have the elements so working against you, I definitely felt that it was flawed.”

She continued, “There was more dialogue (originally). When I went in to loop it I had to rethink the way I was going to say things. Having to make those adjustments in post are never desirable, because they can never match what you may have done in actual production. They’re compromises that have to be made, especially when you’re working in a sci-fi series, but you hate it to have to happen on intimate moments. Perhaps for people who didn’t know what was missing, it wasn’t a big deal. But I sense it, and I know where I felt the beats should have been. I wasn’t completely satisfied with ‘Day of Honor.’”

In “Scientific Method” the romance progressed, but while the crew was under the control of alien experimenters. Tom and B’Elanna became passionate at some inappropriate times, leading to at least a little speculation about who was really in control. Noted Dawson, “When we were about to shoot it, I told Robbie that I felt that what we were doing was the real Tom and B'Elanna, but it’s sort of like after you've had a couple of drinks at a bar. The aliens supplied the liquor, and so it made [us] a little bit less sophisticated than we should have been. Basically everything was very real. We were just alien-tipsy, I guess. We talked a long time when we got those scenes, wondering, now is this really what we would do? Would we really risk this sort of thing when we have our own cabins? I thought, maybe if you had just a little bit of this alien liquor, that it would make you take that step you just normally wouldn’t. That probably fueled the fire, but the fire was definitely there.”

Some of the scenes advancing the Paris/Torres relationship were added on. "We’re all confused right now," said Dawson. “For example, we’re shooting additional scenes and reshoots for four episodes, so it’s hard to keep track of what’s going into which episode when they add these extra scenes. We’ve been coming up short on a lot of scripts recently, and I don’t know why. It’s causing us to have to take a day and actually add more material to a lot of the shows.

“What I have been missing in their relationship is what really makes them tick as people together. We’ve seen the passion, and we’ve had some superficial discussions, and we understand the attraction. I haven’t seen a lot of the real close friendship. Maybe in the first season in the episode ‘Faces’ where there was some discussion of our past and our parents. We just shot a really nice scene where you just see these two friends dealing with some very difficult situations. I love that they’re starting to explore that now in the writing.”

“Random Thoughts” focused on a telepathic society where violent thoughts are considered crimes. Torres is convicted of violent thought and sentenced to have her memory engrams purged. “One of the things I love about B’Elanna is that she is flawed,” said Dawson. “She’s got this temper. As much as she has become a better person since the beginning of the series, she still screws up, not that this is a complete screw up. It's very human to think negative things, but she definitely goes overboard in her images. It’s interesting, this whole discussion of thought police and what we are allowed to think and not think, and the kind of trouble that you could get in. It’s actually kind of contemporary.”

What exactly does B'Elanna think about to get into trouble? Dawson recalled, “It’s actually pretty minor. It’s innocuous. It’s somebody bumping into me at a market place, but because I have a temper my first instinct is to lash out until I realize that’s an irrational thought. But the thought is out there already. Because these people are very sensitive to these thoughts, that becomes a crime. It’s very tricky. I think it brings up a lot of interesting issues.”

Like many of the actors, Dawson believes that VOYAGER has often resolved conflict too quickly. She was happy to bring something back of the Maquis, when Chakotay (Robert Beltran) gets a message from the Alpha Quadrant in “Hunters.” Noted Dawson, “There was a really interesting scene with Robert Beltran when he reveals information to me about the Maquis. I have to spend the rest of the show trying to deal with this information. I love that they’re bringing that up again. It’s one of the things that I feel was dropped too early. I would love them to deal with it some more. There is some encrypted Starfieet message that still hasn't been decoded by the end of the episode. I would love it if they made a choice that Starfieet comes down hard in saying that, ‘Maybe all the Maquis should be thrown in the brig until we can get you home.’ I think it would be interesting to see how Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) deals with that, and what kind of upset it might cause among the crew. It’s an opportunity I'd hate for them to miss.”

In fact, the message was decoded with some complications in the season’s last show. “Hope and Fear.” Beltran wished the writers had used Dawson's idea, saying “That would have been very interesting, but it doesn’t say that.” Starfleet tells them they cannot help the Voyager.

On the show’s lack of conflict, Dawson noted, “I think they wanted us all to get along pretty quickly. I think the great thing about this year is that some of the friction is coming back. I think that we need that. I think that that’s perfectly human, it’s right, and it's dramatic, and it makes the show much more interesting. It’s so much more interesting for us to fight, and to figure out how to get along, rather than just getting along.”

Dawson talked about her work, saying, “I know that they’re really starting to phase me down quite a bit. I’m spending a lot more time in sickbay. We’re in a series of episodes where we’re dealing with an alien race that is in a five-episode arc. They are called ‘Hunters’ in that they like to go after their prey and torture them to death. This is what their entire existence is about.”

Dawson got into more of the action during both parts of “The Killing Game” in which the hunting Hirogen used the holodecks on Voyager to experience World War II. Dawson plays Bridgette, a member of the French resistance who has gotten pregnant by one of the Nazis and uses that to her advantage. “We’re being experimented on,” she said. “They get some information from our data banks, and decide to try to create a war among us by re-creating World War II. They allow me to be pregnant in that episode, which is a lot of fun, not to have to cover it up.”

Dawson commented on the current TREK women, saying with a laugh, “I think that we’ve changed a lot, and I think it’s terrific. I think we've done it in a really special way. I think that these characters that we have are very unique. If you go from Dax (Terry Farrell) to Kira (Nana Visitor) to B'Elanna to Kate's character, to Jeri’s character, I think that they haven’t just done this stereotypical woman-with-balls kind of thing. They’ve really made them individuals, and also still women, which is great. I think that it’s showing a certain amount of maturity on the part of the writers and the audience in terms of accepting us.”

In addition to acting, Dawson also writes, and at the time of this interview she was anxiously awaiting the publication of her first novel. She explained, “I’m working on a trilogy of sci-fi novels that Simon and Schuster commissioned me to do with another writer. We’ve completed the first book. We are waiting for its release. We're done with it. I’m very proud of it. And we've outlined the second book. The trilogy is 'The Tenebrea Trilogy’ and the first book is ‘Entering Tenebrea.’”

She continued, “I wrote a play which was produced at the University of Minnesota, and also workshopped at Circle Repertory. It was my first full-length play. I’ve had a couple of one acts produced as well. But I’ve never written in novel form, so this was really great. The writer that I’m working with, Daniel Graham, is wonderful. He’s got a scientific mind and knowledge. We work very well together. We sort of balance each other out. We completed [the book] probably five months ago, and it’s literally been sitting here waiting for them to bring it out. We’re just waiting for it to go.”

Dawson was also awaiting the arrival of her daughter. Emma Rose Dawson was born early, instead of late, on January 16, 1998, just after Dawson shot “Vis A Vis” and one scene of “The Omega Directive.” She missed only a few episodes, but returned well in time for the finale, as she had hoped. □

#voy #trek magazines #roxann dawson #b'elanna torres #cinefantastique #that title makes me want to claw my face off but what can you do

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campgender · 6 months

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i was scrolling your “life is in your home too” tag, which I love btw, and saw a post about how you learned to be a good dom from experienced expert doms by reading how they dom and some of their best scenes, do you think you could point me in the direction of some resources for me to study that too? thanks in advance, if not, thanks anyway!

(post referenced is here - link 1)

first of all tysm for this ask (+ your incredibly kind follow-up), it was a delight to receive + i’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about a lot of this for a while so i very much appreciate the interest!

as always please keep in mind that i am Just Some Fem, nothing is universal including when it comes to D/s & i can only speak to what works for me. i try to focus on starting points rather than specifics but ultimately my advice will always be limited by what i needed to hear & wasn’t told, which may not be what’s helpful for a different person. with that being said, here’s some suggestions!

i’ve posted a previous reading list (link 2) with relevant recs; particularly the practicality + sex writing sections have the kind of thing you’re looking for. specifically, The New Topping Book (2003) is a solid starting point; i definitely have my issues with it (haven’t read it recently enough to recall many specifics but i have the sense of general pervasive racism & ableism) but it did a good job at making me think & i appreciate the supportive tone they were going for

another book added to my tbr since then is Coming to Power (link 3), released by SAMOIS in 1983

other authors whose sex writing has been influential in my life: Sandra Cisneros, Natalie Diaz, Joan Nestle, Judy Grahn

the fic At The End of His Rope by Letterblade (link 4) is genuinely some of my favorite sex writing of all time & accomplishes the incredibly impressive feat of representing a broad array of dom styles & changes over time in the same piece

my “impurity culture” tag (link 5) houses the building blocks of my sexual ethic

i’ve found many of those foundations by poking around the incredible bodies of work original & archived @newsmutproject @woman-loving @gatheringbones

for me, studying sex is the same as studying poetry – reading for craft is a different process than for pleasure (not that there isn’t a great deal of pleasure to be found in such practice, especially for sadists – perhaps that’s why as a child i never resonated with Billy Collins’ “Introduction to Poetry,” like i love tying poems to chairs & beating them idk what to tell you). so, keeping in mind that these are suggestions not requirements, here’s how i read for + work on craft:

there is no such thing as too much journaling. this can take whatever form you prefer – voice memo, discord message to yourself, the noble notes app, your own personal sexy red string corkboard, a vast & stunning array of other approaches i can’t even begin to imagine. i personally have an elaborate web of spreadsheets & google docs lmao. what matters is developing a collection of ideas you want to play with + a practice of continually reflecting on past experiences.

pay attention to structure, not just content. find a scene you think is disjointed and pick at the seams, brainstorm better transitions. then find a scene that flows so smoothly it carries you with it and figure out what makes it work.

rewrite a scene you’re drawn to or affected by to suit your own preferences. i first did this when i couldn’t shake “Interlude 3” (link 6) from my head after reading The New Topping Book; you can read my variation on the theme here (link 7) if you’re interested.

write or think through a scene fantasy you have from negotiation to aftercare. obviously it’s very difficult if not impossible to fully script a scene in advance; the purpose isn’t planning something you’ll later do but rather getting used to coming up with ideas to get from one disparate moment / act to the next.

revisit a scene you’ve read, written, thought about, etc and list the physical & mental acts that are required / expected of the sub (eg, kneeling for 10 minutes; making eye contact; counting to 30, etc). then rework the scene for a sub who has the same interests & goals who cannot do 20% (or 50%, or any) of these acts.

revisit a previous scene and list the places where you think a sub might safeword & why. then rework it with the sub safewording somewhere that isn’t any of these places.

i also recommend keeping in mind that like… for me, reading about ethical sex can often be a very distressing process for the same reason that it’s liberating: because it proves that things i’ve experienced are not the way sex has to be. i’ll tell this story in its fullness one day but the first time i read S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt i literally had a flashback to events i’d repressed for years, it was devastating, i’m so grateful for it. hell, in the process of compiling resources for this post i cried twice editing this quote (link 8) because between reading that book the first time & now someone did “respond with scorn or ridicule” when i safeworded. so i would really encourage folks to approach this kind of work with as much grace & comfort for yourself as you can muster or borrow – if it’s really fucking hard, you’re not alone in that, & it’s okay to take your time + pace yourself + seek support.

your + others’ interest is definitely motivating me to actually write posts i’ve been tossing around for months so thank you again & feel free to keep an eye out for more shut-in sex tips in my new “tomorrow sexting will be good again” tag. would love to hear your thoughts on any of this post / these or other books / whatever really lol. wishing you all the best & i hope today is kind to you! 💓

#asks #D/s #reading lists #mac.txt #tomorrow sexting will be good again

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hexidous · 1 year

Text

Silk and Sweat

Rating: Explicit (18+ MDNI)

Summary: Your apartment in the city is getting too expensive, so you pick up a side job as a stripper. When a customer gets handsy with you, the club manager Joel comes to your rescue.

Warnings: No use of Y/N but you do have a stage name. No depictions of reader’s physical appearance. Reader late 20s, Joel early 50s. Adult themes, depictions of stripping, sexual assault (not Joel), fingering, general horniness

Word count: 4.2k

Part II: Pretty As You Feel

Series Masterlist

Deep in the recesses of your closet hid a large box, collecting dust over the years. You had danced throughout college and kept some of your favorite work wears, just in case you ever returned.

You can totally still do this, you assure yourself as you sift through the long neglected contents.

With a huff of determination you put a bag together, setting your bagged heels at the bottom, followed by a few pairs of panties, a couple of dresses and your cosmetic bag.

There were plenty of strip clubs in the area, but you wanted to be sure to choose the right one. You never liked the younger crowds or nightclub-like scenes, the higher end clubs with older clientele suited your needs much better. Sure, they weren’t throwing handfuls of cash or making bills rain down with money guns to impress their friends, but you couldn’t stand dealing with a never ending sea of frat boys and batchelor parties.

You pull into the parking lot of the first club on your list, reading the simple red script illuminated by LED.

Silk Cabaret

You tried to quell your nervousness. It had been so long and you’re terrified they might turn you away in favor of teens and early twenties dancers.

A few words came to mind as you pushed through the doors. Lavish. Ostentatious, perhaps. The red walls were decorated with matching silk, meeting warm stained wood furnishings and accents.

“Hello!” A cute young woman greets you enthusiastically. “How can I help you?”

“Are you hiring dancers?” You ask, trying to project your voice and sound as confident as possible.

“I think so, let me grab a manager,” she chirps before standing up from her spot behind the counter.

You watch her disappear behind the wall dividing the entry room from the main section of the club. She emerges a moment later with a bright smile and cheery, “Follow me!”

You survey the rest of the club as you trail behind her. The bar was a large and L-shaped and tables covered in red cloth. The stage was displayed at the back of the room, a wide oval shape at the base with a short runway jutting out toward the center of the club.

The host leaves you to wait beside a bottle service section for a manager to come speak with you. After another minute or two of looking around, you noticed a figure emerge from behind a closed door.

Your eyes widen without your permission as you take in the man striding to toward you.

“Joel,” he says in a deep voice, jutting his large hand forward.

You try to maintain your composure as he envelopes your hand in his own and introduce yourself with a small smile, waiting for him to continue.

“You been fired from any clubs around here recently?” He asks, cutting right to the chase.

“No,” you reply with a small laugh. “I haven’t even danced in years. But I’ve never been fired, I’m not on drugs, no crazy boyfriend or baby daddy drama. Nothing that’s gonna give you a headache, I promise.”

You notice his lip curl upward in a slight smirk. “Haven’t danced in years, huh? What’s got you back?”

“I take it by that question you don’t pay rent in this city,” you tell him in a slightly amused tone.

“Ok you got me there. So you wanna start tonight?”

“Got my bag in my car,” you respond with a grin.

“We won’t pick up for a while, I can send you off with some paperwork if you want to come back around 7.”

“I don’t mind, it’ll give me some time to get acquainted,” you tell him as you head to retrieve your bag.

You return inside to find Joel now gone and you make your way toward the dressing room nestled behind the stage.

“One last thing,” Joel calls as you pass the now open door of his office.

Mildly startled, you turn to him and tilt your head, silently questioning.

“What’s your stage name?”

You bring your lip between your teeth, briefly wondering if you should assume a new moniker. Deciding against it, a name rolls off your tongue like an old friend. “Starla.”

You feel your anxiety laugh at you for thinking you were nervous before. Knowing one of the most gorgeous men you had seen in a long time would inevitably be watching you dance mostly naked would have excited you years ago. Now you feel almost sick as your heart races and and a knot forms at the base of your throat.

You shake your head, trying to force your unbelievably handsome new boss from your head.

You apply your makeup in a section of the bright, mirrored dressing room that’s unoccupied. You paint your eyes and lips darker and more exaggerated than you would normally and blush that looks ridiculous in the glaring light but perfect for both the dim club and flashy stage lighting. After running a brush through your hair, you stand to undress.

Your favorite dress was beautiful, but didn’t provide the easiest on and off access with the lace up back. Deciding to save it for the end of the night, if at all, you don a set made of a long skirt with a slit up the side and a tight matching top that pushes your breasts together enticingly.

You strap your heels on and shove your bag in an empty locker. With a steadying breath, you push through the thick, velvet curtain that shrouded the dressing room from prying eyes.

There was one customer now, chatting with the only other dancer you’ve seen so far. She looks to be a bit older than you, with spray tanned skin and gravity defying breasts.

You stand awkwardly beside the bar, unwilling to sit just yet.

“Hey there,” you hear in a soft, high pitched voice. You hadn’t noticed the bartender make her way toward you until she stood two feet away. “I’m Kenzie.”

“I’m-“ You begin, but catch yourself with a laugh. “I’m Starla. Gonna take some getting used to that again.”

“It won’t take long,” she responds with a knowing smile. “Want anything to drink?”

“I’m alright,” you tell her. Frankly, you’d love a drink to settle your nerves, but you weren’t about to pay strip club drink prices when you know soon enough there will be a room full of men willing to pay them for you.

“It’s on Phil,” she says with a nod in the direction of the man you noticed earlier.

He and the woman talking to him meet your gaze and give you a smile and wave.

“Thank you!” You call over, waving back. You turn your attention back to Kenzie. “Titos and clubs soda it is then.”

Kenzie returns with your drink and you sip slowly, waiting for the action to pick up.

By the time you reach the end, the only other people to walk in were two more girls, chatting casually as they made their way to the back.

“He said he’ll get you another if you’d like,” Kenzie says, grabbing your empty glass.

“I should probably take it slow,” you respond.

“Smart girl. I like you.”

You smile at her compliment and see Joel emerging from his office again, taking a stance beside the vip section. He catches your gaze and gives you a smile.

With nothing else going on you decide to approach him, the confidence of your former persona coming through.

“You look beautiful,” he tells you sincerely. Your stomach flutters and you feel a blush rise to your cheeks. You were used to lecherous compliments at the club, given with a lustful look over your body. But Joel kept his eyes on yours.

“Thanks. I guess I’m glad I didn’t the heart to give away everything when I stopped dancing.”

“What did you do before deciding to come back to this?” He asks, his eyes scanning the nonexistent crowd.

“I’m a graphic designer,” you tell him. “With outsourcing and AI it’s been a nightmare to find reasonable pay.”

He nods empathetically. “I bet.”

“How long have you worked here?” You ask.

“About ten years. I took work as a bouncer after serving in the military. Came here, got promoted after two and… Well, here I am.” He runs a hand through his tousled salt and brown sugar hair.

Before you can say anything else, another pair of girls come strolling by.

“Hi, Joel,” one says, slowly dragging the vowels out before giggling with her friend.

“Ladies,” Joel says curtly with a nod.

“What time does the DJ get in?” You ask Joel nervously.

“About an hour.”

Your stomach drops a bit. You haven’t been on a stage in years. “Do you mind if I maybe do a practice song or two before rotation starts? It’s been so long and I’m a bit antsy to get it over with.”

“Of course,” he answers.

“Thanks,” you turn to make your way over. “Sure hope it’s like riding a bike!” you call over your shoulder as you walk away. You think you hear a chuckle but you don’t dare turn around to check.

The preset playlist cycles through typical 80s hair metal and pop songs. Good to know some things don’t change.

You step through the curtain, thankful the room is nearly empty. Your eyes dart to where Joel was standing and you breathe a sigh of relief to see it empty.

You slowly sway your hips to the beat, grasping the cold metal pole in your hands. You spin around it, rotating your body with quick ease. Feeling more confident, you grasp higher and begin to climb.

The friction is painful between your legs, your thighs no longer desensitized to the intense grip. But you’re doing it. You carefully wrap your body around the pole, losing yourself to the beat as you transition into some basic moves.

You breathe a sigh of relief that your stage time maybe won’t be as painfully awkward as you feared.

You push through the curtain back into the dressing room.

“You’re wasting your time you know,” a girl sitting down to get ready tells you as she smiles at herself in the mirror, applying dark red lipstick.

Your brow furrows as you wait for her to continue.

“Joel Miller doesn’t fuck with the dancers. Trust me, we’ve all tried,” she says with a laugh. “I’m just giving you a heads up before you lose out on money trying to get in his chastity belt.”

“Thanks, but I wasn’t…”

“Mmhmm,” she says with an unbelieving raised brow and knowing smirk before returning to her routine.

The night begins to pick up, patrons and more dancers slowly filling the modest space. The DJ arrives and you introduce yourself.

“I’m Tommy,” he tells you with a warm smile. “Anything you like to dance to?” He asks.

“I’m not too picky,” you reply. “But I may have slight PTSD from the song Girls, Girls, Girls so please avoid that one.”

“That’s our promo song,” he says with a frown.

“Oh god,” you grumble. The thought of hearing that song every hour on the hour nearly giving you a headache.

“I kid, couldn’t help myself,” he reveals with a proud smile.

“Thank Christ. I almost quit.”

It’s not long before you hear Tommy call you to the stage for the next song. Your nerves are set alight as you make your way through the dressing room and enter the DJ booth.

“Hope you got a good set for me,” you tell him.

“I got you, superstar,” he replies with a wide grin.

You throw your shoulders back and emerge onto the large, glossy wooden stage, heels clicking with each step.

You freeze, hearing the familiar beginning notes of Girls, Girls, Girls and shoot Tommy a death stare. The song smoothly transitions into Alice Cooper’s Poison and you fight a smile as you watch Tommy shake with silent laughter.

You’ve danced to the song plenty of times and didn’t have to think much about your movements, your muscle memory doing all the work. You slowly shed your clothing and give attention to the men at the stage tipping you.

Sitting before a group of transfixed men, you arch your back and spread your legs. Your head comes forward and you lock eyes with Joel, who you hadn’t realized was staring intently at you. As soon as he notices your gaze, he scans the room, looking everywhere but the stage.

You finish your set and grab your money and dress.

“You’re an ass for that, you know,” you tell Tommy with a smile as you head to the dressing room.

You slip back into your former routine easily. Approach a man, laugh at his lame jokes, hand out light touches to his arm or knee, seem interested in his boring life.

“I’ve got someone coming in to see me soon, but I’d really love to dance for you,” you deliver your go to line with a purr.

“Can’t be havin’ that,” the man you’re talking to growls, a slight slur to his words. “Want ya all to m’self.”.

“Let’s go then,” you say, forcing out a giggle.

He hands you a few hundreds. “Half hour.”

You approach Joel and hand over the dance fee for the private room.

He nods and marks down the time. You lead the moderately intoxicated man by his hand and he uses his free one to slap your ass.

You turn around and see Joel puffing his broad chest out, ready to make a move. You shake your head subtly, indicating you could handle it.

“You’ll want to behave, baby, I don’t give refunds,” you tell him sternly.

You begin dancing for him in the tiny private space. His suit is rumpled and his drunkenness seems to increase as he sits before you.

Clammy fingers grab at your skirt, trying to pull it off. You bat his hands away, annoyed. “It’s called a strip tease for a reason, have a little patience.”

“You sure are a fuckin’ tease,” he spits.

You turn to face away from him, bending slightly and slowly shaking your ass to hide the look of rage you don’t care to conceal. He smacks your ass again.

“Touch me one more time and see what the fuck happens,” you seethe in his face, unable to contain your anger at the drunken bastard.

“Better make it count then,” he growls through clenched teeth.

More nimbly than you’d expect, he stands up and presses you to the wall, using one hand to cover your mouth and shoving the other down the front of your panties.

You thrash against him but before you can make a move, you hear the curtain rip open. Joel storms in, dominating the small space with his imposing frame. He grabs the man off of you swiftly.

“She asked me to!” He lies in his defense.

You watch as Joel’s nostrils flare, his large muscles twitching. Before you can register it, he’s delivering blow after blow to the man’s face.

“And I’m pretty fuckin’ sure I heard you ask me to do that,” he says in a frighteningly low, steady voice.

He drags the man out and you stay frozen, trying to collect yourself.

Of course this would fucking happen, you think bitterly. You feel a dull throb between your thighs as you think about the way Joel defended you. And of course it would turn me on.

You’re not sure how long you stand there before Joel tentatively renters the room.

“Are you ok?” He asks, his voice soft and low, warming you from the inside like a cup of tea on a cold night.

“Yeah,” you say flatly. “Been through worse. It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” he says firmly. “I am so sorry that happened in my club. I should have stepped in when I saw him smack your ass.”

“It’s not your fault. Thank you for coming so quickly,” you reply honestly. “How did you know to get here so fast?”

He clears his throat almost bashfully and looks away. “I was standing close by and heard you yell at him. Heard too much commotion so I came in.”

“So much for not causing you a headache,” you joke, trying to lighten the air.

“You didn’t cause a headache for me, darlin’” he assures. “You wanna press charges?”

“So the law can favor the rich guy over the stripper and he sues you for hitting him? Nah, I’m good.”

He studies your face for a moment. “You ok to go back out?”

“Yeah. I think I could go for another drink now.”

The rest of your night goes by with relative ease. You notice Joel’s eyes on you a few times, but when you catch him he doesn’t look away. Silently assuring you that you’re safe under his watch.

What I'd give to be safe under his body, you think to yourself.

"As much as I've loved talking to you," you lie to whoever you're sitting beside now, "I gotta get a move on."

"One more drink," he pleads.

"My boss is kind of a hard ass," you lie again. "He’ll really lay into me if I stay in one place for too long.”

God I wish he’d lay into me, your filthy brain whispers again.

“Alright,” the man relents. “A dance then?”

“That I can do,” you respond, leaving your chair. You see Joel’s eyes fixed on you in your peripheral vision. It drives you wild.

You wait for a new song to come on before you begin to shake your hips between the man’s legs. He’s not terrible looking. Probably around the same age as Joel, but lacking the sex appeal that exudes from the man dominating your thoughts.

You straddle one of his thighs, arching your back and resting your forearms well above his shoulder. You pop your pussy, making your ass jiggle rhythmically. Your center just barely grazes his thigh and you close your eyes, imagining Joel beneath you. You shudder out a breath and change your position. You rub your thighs together, your thoughts of Joel cumulating to a dull ache between them.

The song ends and the man below you seems to notice your desire, mistaking it to be for him. He requests to keep going and you oblige, continuing to picture Joel with every tormented move.

Tommy announces that he’s about to play the last three songs of the evening.

“Might as well see it through to the end,” you whisper.

“Might as well,” he grunts back, adjusting himself in his pants.

You dance for the remainder of the night, collecting the cash from your final customer.

“Will I see you again?” He asks as you redress.

“I don’t know,” you reply honestly. “But if I keep dancing it’ll be here.”

“Here’s hoping you do,” he tells you as he stands. “It was great to meet you.”

“Thanks, you too. Goodnight.” You give him a small smile before heading to the dressing room.

Most of the girls have left by the time you change back into the dress you wore in. Your face feels heavy with sweat and makeup, so you decide to remove it all before making your way up to the DJ booth. You catch Tommy just as he’s about to head out.

“You know, I debated stiffing you for that stunt you pulled earlier,” you say, handing him a few twenties, tipping more than necessary because you know the value of having the DJ on your side. “But you did pretty good otherwise so I guess I’ll hock it over.”

“Why thank you, darlin’,” he tells you with a little bow of his head. “See you tomorrow?”

“With how sore I’m gonna be? You’ll see me in a week. Maybe.”

“Don’t wait till it hits ya, take an epsom soak tonight,” he advises.

“I think that is exactly what I’ll do.”

You find Joel in his office, sorting through stacks of bills and paperwork, a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his strong nose. You thought he couldn’t get any sexier, but here you were, slowly melting from the inside out.

“Hi,” you say softly to get his attention. He looks up at you as hand your house fee his way.

“I don’t want that after what you dealt with tonight,” he says with a shake of his head.

“Like I said, been through worse. Just take it.”

He obliges, setting it alongside the other stacks.

“You can still help me feel better about it though,” you say, drunk off all the attention given to you that night. And the drinks.

“How’s that?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“I don’t like when control is taken from me,” you state. “I hate that his clammy little hands were the last ones to touch me.”

He stares up at you silently. It’s almost imperceivable but you take note of the way his brow furrows and chest rises and falls a little harder.

He doesn’t get up from his chair, but swivels it to face you fully. He takes one hand and places it on the inside of your thigh, just above your knee. He slides it upward at an excruciating pace, causing a shiver to run through your body. “This is what you want? What you’re asking of me?”

“Yes,” you whimper and nod your head. “Please.”

He continues up your thigh until reaching your cotton panties, a much more comfortable switch from the ones you wore while working. He drags a finger around the hem teasingly before brushing his thumb over your clit.

He looks up at you, waiting for your eyes to return to his. There’s a fire in them as he yanks your panties down roughly, causing you to yelp in surprise.

“Shut the door,” he commands. You quickly do as you’re told.

He returns his hand to your center, hissing as he feels the extent of how turned on you are.

“What’s got you so wet, baby?” He asks with a smirk, lightly running his fingers up and down your slit.

“Been thinking about you,” you admit breathlessly. “Couldn’t stop myself.”

He pushes two digits fully into you, eliciting a partly stifled moan. He sets a quick pace, causing your knees to almost buckle.

Joel takes off his reading glasses with his free hand. “Lift your dress,” he commands. “I want to see.”

You lift your dress and watch as he stares at his fingers brutally fucking into your pussy, his other hand returning to roughly grasp your hip. His breaths are more labored and his lips are curled into a slight snarl. The sight sends you closer to the edge.

He feels your walls start to constrict around his fingers and brings the hand on your hip to settle flat against your stomach, his thumb finding your clit and pressing quick circles into it.

“Oh fuck,” you cry out, your greedy cunt tightening further, wanting more.

“Shut that pretty mouth if you want me to make you cum,” he warns.

“Yes sir,” you whisper, biting your lip to stop from crying out.

“Good girl,” he praises in a softer tone.

That’s all it takes for the knot in your center to pull itself free, a wave of intense pleasure rushing through you. You bite your lip harder and place a hand on Joel’s firm, muscled shoulder to keep from screaming or collapsing.

You let your hand run down his strong bicep as he removes his fingers.

“On your knees,” he demands.

You readily sink between his legs and eye the massive bulge he has there. You want to reach out and touch it, free it from the strict confines of his pants and take him in your mouth. Wordlessly thank him. You want to fucking worship him.

But you know that you’re not the one in charge, you handed those reigns over to Joel with pleasure.

He brings his wet fingers to your lips and you eagerly take them in your mouth, twirling your tongue around his digits as you suck them clean. He groans, sending another twinge of desire to your spent pussy. You were insatiable.

He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of your hot mouth a few times, transfixed by your soft lips.

He takes his hand away and wipes his saliva on his shirt.

Standing up, his throbbing cock just inches from your face. You look up at him, silently begging for permission to take it out.

“Come on,” he says instead, offering a hand down to you. “I’ll walk you out.”

You take his hand and rise, disappointed.

He’s quiet as he walks you to your car and you worry that you fucked up by asking him to touch you. You were already warned that he didn’t mess around with the dancers. It was a good policy to stick to but you had met very few men working in clubs who had the willpower to follow through with it. Now he probably didn’t want you coming back.

“Thank you,” you tell him as you reach your car. “For walking me out, for saving me from that creep and for helping me feel better about it. I know that’s all it was, I won’t be weird about it. But I understand if you don’t want me to come back.”

He shoots you an offended look. “Jesus, no. You are more than welcome back here.”

He pauses for a moment before opening his arms to you. You shyly sink into them, reveling in how firm yet soft his warm body felt against yours. He pats your upper back, like a dad would to a kid. “I’m sorry again about tonight. Drive safe.”

“Will do,” you tell him before slipping into your car. You watch as he turns to head back into the club, taking in his broad frame with admiration. You were fucked.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal smut

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merakiui · 2 years

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scaramouche thought catalogue.

(cw: yandere, nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, kidnapping/captivity, mention of baby-trapping, mention of murder/violence, mostly gender neutral, although a few thoughts written with implied female reader, mention of implied baby-trapping)

✧ prince scaramouche who you are in a secret relationship with. perhaps you're one of his attendants, or maybe you're a royal from a neighboring kingdom who occasionally comes to visit. the two of you probably hooked up at the gala in your kingdom. it's easy to lose yourself in good drinks and company. when you and the prince from a land of endless thunder and lightning retreat to a dark, abandoned corridor, fueled by the warmth of high-quality liquors and lustful attraction, you allow yourself the temporary comfort of sloppy kisses and wandering hands. no one's allowed to know of your scandalous relations with prince scaramouche, especially not when (many years later) your kingdoms are at war and the both of you are still in a secret relationship. scaramouche is on the path to murderous tyranny, and when he captures you as a spoil of war you assume he's merely pretending in an effort to cast any suspicions aside. but then you find yourself locked away in a private slice of the palace, and your only visitor is the wicked prince who wants more from you than just loveless sex.

✧ stalker scaramouche who keeps a list of everyone who has ever wronged you. whether it was a date gone sour, an old bully, a hateful ex... he’s organized his list by how much of a threat these people are to you and is willing to go to extremes to ensure they never hurt you again. scaramouche does whatever it takes to keep you safe. after all, you were the only one who extended your hand in friendship when he was labeled the “weird” kid in primary. you were the one who shared snacks and stories with him, who made sure to bring an extra lunch because he rarely came to school with one. he’s loved you for years now. unfortunately, when his mother was consumed by her grief and his aunt miko took him out of school, he never got to see you again. but now that he’s found you years later he’s started protecting you from the shadows. he’s even applied to work at the same place as you so that he can continue to look after you. scaramouche will leave home-cooked meals at your desk or doorstep or even in your work locker. you never touch them. it annoys him when you dump his hard work into the trash all because you think something nefarious has been added. he’d never hurt you...until he does. you’re getting too friendly with a coworker; scaramouche hates it with a passion. the next meal he makes comes with a note written in handwriting that perfectly mirrors your coworker’s. you eat that meal without any hesitation; funny how a little note changes everything. scaramouche doesn’t want to hurt you, but sometimes chewing glass is enough punishment for you to realize that everyone else in this world is rotten and that he’s the only one who can save you. when you’re hospitalized, he’s the first to send flowers and a card without a signature. written in the same script as your coworker are the words: if you don’t want to eat rat poison next, i suggest you stop talking to that person. and then a final line: get well soon. :)

✧ trust-fund kid scaramouche who uses his status as ei’s son (she’s a ceo of a very successful company and miko is second-in-command) to bully you into submission. you’re hard-working and determined (two qualities scaramouche despises). he’s rich, so he doesn’t have to bother with work. he forces himself into your life, always insulting you with a cheeky smirk. he could be nice and give you a cushy life. all you need to do is agree to a single date with him and he’ll put you in a nice apartment, cover your bills, pay for your groceries. just one date. is that really so much to ask for? he’ll flex his wealth whenever he’s near you, as if that will push you closer to agreeing. you always decline his offers. scara’s beginning to grow frustrated. what must he do to have you all to himself? since you’re always overworking yourself, he’ll just force a break on you so that you’ll have no choice but to rely on him. maternity leave will give you plenty of time to realize you’re better off choosing him.

✧ catboy scaramouche. you find an injured stray cat with the most beautiful, albeit matted and tangled, fur and so you bring him back to your home. you give him a bath (even if he protests and scratches your arms ferociously). you brush his fur, you bandage his wound, you feed him, you allow him to explore your house. he’s suspicious of you, but eventually he warms up to you and is not as averse to your presence as he was before. imagine your surprise when you return home, fully expecting to see your cat, when instead all you see is a man with cat ears and a tail dressed in an apron and attempting to follow a recipe. you learn that he was cursed to be this way after offending a god and now he must live out his punishment as a cat-human hybrid. you don’t mind it very much; in fact, you’re just glad to have a roommate. but this friendship soon turns dark when scaramouche starts returning home late at night, often smelling suspiciously of blood. he’s just hunting birds. it’s just cat instincts. that’s what he tells you. but when you find a shoe box tucked away in your closet and it’s filled with human teeth, some chipped, some with nerves still attached from where they were ripped from the gums, and some looking like they were nearly shattered into dust you start to realize something’s very wrong with your usually grumpy catboy. when he returns at midnight months later, dragging something heavy in a black bag, you fear the worst. he’s not hunting birds. he’s hunting humans. you have no idea why and you’re too scared to ask.

✧ scaramouche railing you in the mech. there is no plot to this thought. just,,, the two of you hidden within the mech; he tells you to be quiet unless you want the sages to hear your lewd sounds. unless you want them to hear their soon-to-be god fucking you into an incoherent, babbling mess. you’re pressed against the interior of the mech, with scaramouche pounding into you from behind, his hands wrapped tightly around your throat. he’s telling you of how, once he beats the traveler and that useless god of wisdom, the two of you will be free to bask in divinity for all of eternity. he’s rougher than usual; you suspect he’s fucking the frustration and nerves away. not that he has anything to be nervous about, though, right? he’ll win, right? (he does not win.)

✧ on the subject of god!scaramouche, consider a cult au in which dottore is the leader of a cult that worships scaramouche, a slumbering god who is prophesied to awaken when enough sacrifices are offered to him. every ritual, each devoted follower, is all part of dottore’s secret experiment. when he convinces you (a friend from university) to visit after you’ve confided in him about the...strange dreams you’ve been having (dreams involving a being who calls himself shouki no kami, who warns you of impending doom, who says the only way out is through him), you quickly find yourself wrapped up in something much larger. what starts as good-natured fascination with your uni friend’s unique and covert hobbies and a natural cleanse from the nightmares devolves into horror when you learn he plans to use you as the final sacrifice to reawaken shouki no kami. unbeknownst to him, scaramouche has been communicating with you for months now and has found himself enthralled. after you’ve been trapped within the cult, with your death looming ever nearer, scaramouche visits you in your dreams once more and begins to plot an escape with you. he’s been so sweet to you, so you trust him. he’s all you have. and he’s all you’ll ever have after he slaughters the cult and takes you as his prize. he needs a bride, after all, and you’re just perfect for him. they say the sky reflects the color of the earth the day shouki no kami awoke. it was a dreadful, horrifying crimson.

✧ also another concept without much plot, but consider a situation in which the different versions of scaramouche somehow become their own beings. there’s kunikuzushi, the puppet who was set free by ei. there’s scaramouche, the sixth fatui harbinger. and there’s wanderer. all of them love you to extremes in their own special, unhealthy ways. <3 and the three scaramouches always bicker over who is more deserving of your love. kuni is softer, but stiflingly obsessive and clingy. scaramouche is cruel and possessive. wanderer is sweet, a menace most of the time, but still not to be trusted, especially not when a vision allows him to have so much fun.

#meraki mumbles #yandere scaramouche #n/sfw #please forgive the influx of scaramouche thoughts orz #this is what c2 scaramouche will do to you

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laurelwen · 5 months

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The Battle of Forbie

As you may have noticed, I am not a proponent of any portmanteau names for Alex and Nigel. Call me weird, but none of them please me, so I will continue to abstain from using them.

HOWEVER

In a spirit of generosity, I have come here today to feed the Forbie enjoyers. I give you:

The actual Battle of Forbie

The Battle of Forbie, also known as the Battle of La Forbie or the Battle of Hiribya, was fought October 17, 1244 – October 18, 1244 between the allied armies (drawn from the Kingdom of Jerusalem, the crusading orders, the breakaway Ayyubids of Damascus, Homs, and Kerak) and the Egyptian army of the Ayyubid Sultan as-Salih Ayyub, reinforced with Khwarezmian mercenaries. The resulting Ayyubid victory led to the call for the Seventh Crusade and marked the collapse of Christian power in the Holy Land.

The capture of Jerusalem by the Khwarezmians in August had caused great alarm among both the Christian and the Muslim states. Al-Mansur, the Emir of Homs and an-Nasir Dawud, ruling Kerak, joined the Templars, the Hospitallers, the Teutonic Knights, the Order of Saint Lazarus, and the remaining forces of the Kingdom of Jerusalem to take the field against the Egyptian Sultanate.

The two armies met near Forbie, a small village northeast of Gaza. Over 5,000 Crusaders died. 800 prisoners were taken. Of the troops of the knightly orders, only 36 of 348 Templars, 26 of 351 Hospitallers, and 3 of 400 Teutonic Knights survived.

Hiribya (Forbie) - not appearing on this map. I highlighted Ascalon, as Forbie was nearby.

I have also taken the opportunity to highlight Sidon and Maraclea for those who aren't already familiar with the locations. It's worth reiterating that despite the way the movie uses Maraclea as a personal name to refer to the person involved, the story itself is about a lady OF Maraclea and a Templar knight or lord of Sidon.

Ever since @currentlyonstandbi speculated about it, I have solidly embraced the head canon that perhaps the original story was actually about two men, past lives of Alex and Nigel, but the story was later changed to a man and a woman due to homophobic pressure. After all, the skull symbolism of this story is reportedly part of the accusations made against the Templars for "head worship"-- the veneration of skulls as idols in violation of the precepts of the Church. The other major charges laid against the Templars? Homosexuality and sodomy.

Was any of this intended by Greg? Of course not. That man blindly stumbled through this script running on fumes from half-remembered random articles and vague conceptions gleaned from the shallow pop culture portrayals of occult societies that were plentiful at the time. But it fits together well in a way that feels satisfying and with reasonable internal consistency.

Imagine two Templar knights who fall in forbidden love while fighting in the Holy Land. The tragic death of his lover drives the other mad with grief and leads him into dark acts of desperation. Their story gives rise to a potent myth that Nigel reads 700 years later. The myth calls to them with familiarity, directs their fate, and leads them to the same tragic outcome.

(Excuse me while I sob on the floor for the next 5 hours.)

A Few Key Dates for Context:

1209 - Massacre of the Cathars at Beziers (Kill them all; God will recognize his own.)

1244 - Battle of Forbie

1307 - Downfall of the Templars, under accusations of heresy and homosexuality/sodomy.

1300s - Playing cards arrive in Europe. There is speculation that the cards were adopted from the Egyptian Mamluks by the Crusaders in the Holy Land who then brought them home to Europe.

That concludes today's unhinged lesson in the power of random Google searches and paying close attention to the history of certain tags on Tumblr. I'm still not gonna use #forbie, but I can at least enjoy the strange coincidence here.

Like Minds Masterpost

#i was overdue for a substantive post anyway #look only 7 people will care about this but i AM rather proud of chasing this down #the only time i'm gonna use this tag:#forbie #like minds #nigel colbie #alex forbes #nigel colbie x alex forbes #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #murder boyfriends

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toastofthetrashfire · 7 months

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DFF and Color Part 4: Episode 8

Okay let's jump into color again! Posts 1-3 on color here, here, and here. As before this is a brainchild in collab with @slayerkitty

Tee continues to wear and use blues and grays. And being around his uncle only reinforces this.

Non continues in reds, oranges, pinks, and tans and other warm colors. He starts in the same tan shirt we left him in last episode, faded, angry, hurt. But by the time he's off with his new script he's back to a brighter pink, ready to act for himself.

Unlike previous times, he's gone with the group he has no greens, grays, or blues on him (with the exception of his jeans but I'll read those as neutral). He's set against the group, and it reflects his determination to embody that role.

The rest of the group continues to be in blues and grays, with the exception of Jin. In the last episode, he went from yellow to pink. Here, he's in a middle ground of orange. Perhaps because he still has some hope of getting past what he did, he's not as pink as the last episode, so perhaps not as deeply mired in anger and guilt. But he's certainly not his usual yellow. In either case, he is marked by his guilty conscience in a way the others aren't. It also makes him much closer in color to Non at the very point where he can't even look Non in the eye, almost as if he, like Por in last episode, is stealing and draining Non's color.

The threat of the group (or primarily Tee in this case) comes back through the greenish gray water bottle.

As they film and Non confronts them, they've switched into all blues and grays so Jin is matching the group now. It's the group vs Non. Jin apologizes but ultimately Non passes out before it's resolved, leaving Jin still complicit.

Meanwhile Non is drowned in the black costume. It's not the first time he's worn it, but it's certainly an important moment. His shirt collar and bracelet give him his last bit of color but we can see the toll everything has taken on him. If last week his battery and color were being drained, now he's running on fumes. The pink that stood out before as Non tried to take control is covered over much like the drug Tee gave him kicks in before Non can continue or resolve the situation. Of course black can also be linked to death, which looms over Non as Tee takes him to his uncle. Like his fate, Non is shrouded in black, a mystery with high stakes--death or disappearance.

The gang circles the wagons and continue to wear blue while talking to the police. This includes Jin who chooses to protect the group. We don't know why he does so, but whether it's out of fear, a desire to not betray his friends, or another motive, he is siding with the group. We're clearly meant to read this as Jin once again slipping back to the group and hurting Non.

Interestingly, Tee wears blue but also pink. In fact his outfit mirrors what Jin wears in the present day. I can think of two ways to read this. If for Jin, pink represents his guilt, perhaps Tee also is feeling guilty or at least a cognitive dissonance. We know that later in the episode he'll grapple with the implications of what his uncle may have done to Non even if he lies to himself that it's fine. On the other hand, we could read this as Tee stealing Non's color, much like Por did last episode. This reading makes a lot of sense since Tee is currently the most culpable of the group and the most aware of what happened to Non. It makes this an extra gut punch as Tee wears the same color Non did when he handed him over to his uncle while at the same time hiding everything.

They all are in their blues and grays again as they finish the film. The only other color (aside from Top's hint of his future yellow) is the orange camera case. Perhaps a reminder here of our absent friend.

This is where it gets interesting. While Jin stays in blue with Por, the other three are in orange and red. Now Tee has mixed in red before but always with blue along side it, and we haven't seen Fluke in any colors beside blues and grays in the past. Top has had some yellow (cause who can keep his "winning" personality down) but orange is new. In the scene Jin begs the group to call Non "Non" instead of Greasy for once. Normally when he speaks up to the group he has other colors going on, but now he's in conformist blue so what's going on? Perhaps his blue is a final hope that he can reach the group, get them to understand without having to abandon the friendship.

Meanwhile Fluke, Top, and Tee are in Non's range of colors. I see three possibilities here. First, they have stolen Non's color. Similar to last episode and Jin and Tee respectively at earlier points in this episode. Though in it's interesting that Fluke takes the pure red while the other's take orange. Perhaps because he is now the lowest in status? Or perhaps it marks the distinction between Fluke as a bystander and Top and Tee who took the active role.

The second possibility is that the color shift marks their guilt. Non's blood is on their hands and seeped into their color schemes. We even have the same alcohol cans as Jin smashes after he films Non and Keng. The amount of remorse they might feel will vary but they're tainted nonetheless, just as Jin moved to pink after the video.

The third possibility, which is perhaps interrelated, is that it marks these characters starting to shift to the colors they'll use in the present. Fluke goes from blues and greys to red, perhaps overshooting but soon will settle into purple. Top moves to orange on his way to yellow. And Tee is now adding orange which he'll later mix in when he defends White.

Interestingly in all of this Por remains in blue like he hasn't been impacted at all. In addition to having likely no guilt, unlike the others he has a lot more protection from consequences due to his family's wealth and influence. So while, Non's blood is technically on his hands, it can't touch him, and won't be visible to others.

At the premier, Tee and Top have bounced back to their usual blue. Meanwhile Fluke remains in red, again perhaps because he's now the lowest tier member, or perhaps because (as we see in the future) the weight of this is much heavier on him psychologically. Jin meanwhile has lost color. We could argue this is part of the gray part of the blue/gray color scheme, but it reads more brown to me, like a unsaturated yellow or pink that's turned brown and muddy. We can tell by his facial expressions throughout this too that he is increasingly jaded. Like Fluke, it's weighing on him but in his own way.

Por has taken credit for Non's work, erased him from the film. But he is still quite literally "the hidden character." The fact that Por can't fully cover this up is evident in the red letter "H." Non is present even as he is hidden and erased.

Por has a touch or blue/green in his shirt but is mostly in black here like his father. He is shrouded and overshadowed by his father, his achievement ultimately linked to his father and not his own efforts.

DFF really likes it's red, yellow, and blue scheme. Again, despite how hard they try to erase Non they're surrounded by his color during the premier. Showing how they can't escape their culpability but also how they've appropriated his color for their own gain.

Interestingly they throw in one audience member in blue. At first I thought it might be White, but looking through shots I think it's just an extra. Still a striking choice to throw blue into the sea of red and yellow.

Phi continues in his own blue but still mixes in Non's colors. He still wears the bracelet in the scene with his father, and in the theater he is framed against reds and oranges. On top of that of course is the fact that he is collaborating with someone in red (likely Tan).

When Tee talks with his uncle they're both in blue, but the orange tigers hang over Tee just like him wearing orange before. The implications of what he's helped his uncle do hang over him as well.

Interestingly, Tee's uncle is typically in blue except for this scene. Here the shot mixes reds and blues. He looks like he's in purple, with red and blue lighting and decor mixing in the background. Similarly Perth's character mixes red with blue as well. I'm wondering if this is to signal that Perth's character will in some way be aligned with Non or help in some way to take down the uncle. His presence and touch change the uncle's color but still hide his own intentions.

That's been this week! Next week we have Jin sporting red! Could it be his guilt, a slowly deteriorating relationship with the group, his budding relationship with Phi? I'm interested to see.

#dff the series #dead friend forever #dff meta #my posts #my meta

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drifting-pieces-blog-blog · 9 months

Text

Breaking down the comics: BEMIS. Part 2

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!

Part one is here. Thanks Tumblr. (please go read it)

Two issues left of this trash heap volume. Any time you think it can’t get worse you look at the next panel.

NEXT ISSUE. We’re almost through this collection. This bread is not what I ordered. Send it back.

ISSUE #192.

(Spoilers: There are no sharks in this episode. For those of you waiting for the dolphins, that’s in vol 2)

Alright. In this issue. We open with Marc, Diatrice, and Frenchie sitting at the table having coffee. ANd Frenchie looks very dead and is in scrubs.

I’MMA PAUSE FOR A SECOND.

I will cover the Lemire run later. It’s inevitable and something I’m deeply looking forward to.

The thing about the Lemire run is that it takes place at a time when ALL of Moon Knight’s original friends had left him. Gena, the kids, Crawley, Frenchie, Marlene… They had all been driven away. They were all in pain and either hated him, were disenchanted by him, or just pushed away.

The Lemire run takes place with the Moon Knight system, Marc in particular, having a severe mental health crisis.

DID is caused by extreme repeated trauma at a young age. It leads to dissociative episodes, and it is not uncommon for other issues to crop up (thanks trauma!). A lot of systems, if they have the health care, end up in and out of hospitals when they reach crisis points.

In this run, a LOT of things happen that seem spectacular and fantastical and a lot of things that are grounded in reality. It’s hard to say if the whole thing happened or was really all just in Marc’s head. There is evidence for the latter. I’ll discuss that at a different time. But in this run, he witnesses his friends all leave him again. It’s a way for his mind to make sense of it and to let them go. To let go of the past and the pain associated with his friends departing him. In this world, Frenchie sacrificed himself to save them and died.

So… Bemis is assuming that the audience took in the Lemire run at face value. He feels he has to explain away the events. He isn’t trusting the reader at all. In fact, he’s even going to try to explain it to the reader. This is bad writing. This is just… Where is the editorial team? Why are they not explaining things to him? Did they even read his script? Or were they so desperate to feed off of the success of Lemire and get Moon Knight up and going again that they just shoved whatever they could at the fans and waited for the money?

UNPAUSE.

So this is why Frenchie is a zombie. He’s trying to explain away Frenchie’s ‘death’.

"Undead?" Frenchie asks Marc.

"Well, no. Not really undead. Just dead. It's all I can visualize. Like when you seen an old person and think of them naked and then can't stop picturing it."

"That's disturbing. But I'd be equally haunted if I had seen YOU get murdered in a waking nightmare of insane asylums and Egyptian Gods. You saw it. You felt it. It was real enough."

(Also he has his legs.)

There's one of those comic editorial notes in the corner: To find out what Marc's talking about, read the mind-bending Lemire/Smallwood Run! - ED

#^%#$$@ YOU ED. DO YOUR JOB AND ACTUALLY KEEP THE CONTINUITY AND EDIT THIS PILE OF-

deep breaths. deep breaths... We're going to get through this.

So Zombie Frenchie talks to Marc about what Marc saw in the asylum.

"Losing you was some kind of fantasy. You can chalk it up to me accepting my dissociative identity disorder, or me facing my demons...But I think I needed to see you die in order to make sense of your worth to me. That's not fair to you. You're my best friend."

So close. He's SO close to getting the run. And I get the feeling it's spouting off what he was cliff noted about the run without either reading it himself or perhaps he did read it, didn't understand it, and someone had to explain it to him.

It wasn't about him accepting his dissociative identity disorder or facing down his demons. It was so much more than that.

At this point Frenchie pulls off his zombie look (literally) and is back to being a normal looking man.

And we get what Bemis REALLY thinks is going on.

"You think too much, Spector. You can picture whatever you want in that malfunctioning cranium of yours if it helps you make sense of the hand you've been dealt."

"...Okay."

"Now, Marc, are you actually hearing me, or are you still picturing some grotesque fantasy?"

He’s just using things as an excuse to paint Marc with whatever mental illness he fancies at the time. Hallucinations are apparently now in the mix. What does Bemis actually think is mentally wrong with Marc? Did he do ANY research at all? Is he just pointing at the DSM randomly and picking out things that make the comic edgy or ‘funny’??

As Marc prepares to go, a brick smashes through their window.

He climbs out the window, dramatic style, and finds Bushman and Truth and some other guys with guns waiting on the street below.

Bushman has the landlord (a little old lady) at knife point.

They tell Marc to meet them in the lobby or the old lady gets it.

Oh look. Another jab at underlined villainous homosexuality.

Just before Moon Knight can start trashing them all, and Bushman knows he would, Raoul tells him that Marlene is on the boat.

Oh good. Khonshu's narration is back. I'd missed it.

Honestly, any time Khonshu narrates it's just a lot of random metaphors, over explanation, or depictions on what's going on that aren't needed.

He describes Marc being tied to a boat surrounded by his enemies with his fate unknown. ....as the comic shows him tied to a boat surrounded by his enemies with his fate unknown.

Let the reader read the damn comic!

Bushman goes against orders of the Sun King and decides to go toy with Marc.

Never a good idea and everyone there knows it.

He holds a knife to Marc's face. Well... Honestly, it’s in his style to do just this… Props for that I suppose.

And Moon Knight makes his way around the top deck of the boat and takes out all the bad guys,circling back around to Bushman.

"You don't scare me, Spector!"

"I didn't want to have to do this to you again."

And Marc cuts off two of Bushman's fingers then tosses them overboard.

"You can replace those, but they'll never be yours again. And next time, I won't be satisfied with a piece of you. I'm not one of those super heroes who won't straight-up kill you, Bushman."

It's fitting for what Moon Knight did from the 90s through early 2000s. As much as I disagree with it, it does fit for those times.

He goes below deck and finds a bunch of sad looking people sitting around like refugees.

Marc asks what's going on and he's told that they signed up for this.

He talks to one of the kids who tells him they are going to an island to form a new city for only them.

Back on deck, he finds Truth.

"Unlike Raoul, I think I may have learned my lesson in trying to defeat you personally. Besides, I was tasked with your delivery to the Sun King. I just want to help you see what I see, Spector."

For once, Truth is pretty reasonable.

True uses his powers on Marc and it's just...

"I have a vision every waking day. Lovers and dreamers piled waist-deep in the streets. I wade through piles of their slack, twisted bodies. Utterly powerless. Nauseated. It's my fear of this moment that motivates me, not the desire to save lives. The Fear that I've built my sanity on a lie. My hope for a better world is my most tragic form of dissociation."

You know... I'm not even sure Bemis knows what dissociation really is at this point.

Truth tells him that he's ready to face the Sun King now.

They arrive on the island where the 'refugees' get off and go to make camp in the village that they found.

OKAY. Okay. okay... here we go.

So... I'm going to point out something here that someone probably should have mentioned to Bemis while editing this crap.

The bad guy henchmen are all disabled people. People missing arms, legs, hands, eyes, on crutches, or fake legs and things.

They follow around a man that looks like white Jesus that calls himself "Ra the God '' and "Sun King". They head to a place that Bushman called an "Undiscovered tribe of underdeveloped backwards people". They take over the island for themselves and he brings in other people to populate it....

He's literally colonizing it.

The other bad guy is an overweight drug dealing black man with possible repressed homosexual desires for the good guy. The other bad guy is a large menacing tattooed white guy that makes people spout nonsense and calls it deep truth like characters in a Chuck Palahniuk novel!

Is anyone else as fed up with this as I am? Am I reading too much into this? Is this really not as bad as I think it is? Because…this looks pretty bad.

Moon Knight finds Sun King on the beach who welcomes him to "Isla Ra".

"Soon this island will burgeon with those willing to light up this shadowy world. They're like us, Marc! The sickly, the fragile, the INSANE. Society's regrettable by-product, but to me...To us... They are everything!"

He tells Moon Knight to relax. He knows that as long as Marlene is his prisoner, Marc won't do anything to risk her.

"Take a catnap, Marc. We fight to the death tomorrow, but tonight we indulge in a ritual."

"A ritual you probably just made up."

"Ra feeds my mind what it needs to know."

"You're going to drug me, aren't you?"

"Sleep, Marc. Tonight we become enlightened."

So... We see nightfall and Sun King and Marc sit before a camp fire.

So of course we get an instant jab of homophobia.

"Why did we have to do this half naked?"

"Shhhh Let your mind unravel, Spector."

"I don't do well with psychedelics, Sun King."

"It was only tea."

"It smelled like woodstock."

I have a problem with this. Marc is telling him flat out that he doesn't do well with psychedelics.

Studies have shown that certain drugs can actually trigger mental illnesses that are linked to chemical imbalances. Not to mention that if he happens to be on any drugs meant to help him, they could negate their effects, interact with them poorly, or make him very ill.

We know Marc has been in and out of mental hospitals. We know he's been drugged before in these hospitals. Forcing him to take a psychoactive trip is not a cool thing to do for the dramatic storytelling. What’s going to happen is that we’re going to get a really trippy scene of them going into Marc’s ‘messed up’ mind and he’s going to learn things, find peace or some bullshit, and then be healed.

This gives the wrong message that doing these potentially harmful drugs will fix all your problems! Especially if you have dissociative issues or other similar issues.

ALSO. People with DID? Not all the alters respond the same way to inebriation. Some will get drunk if they look at a beer. Others can do a LOT of pot and not feel a thing. The brain is a fascinating and complex place. Marc could do psychedelics and Jake could just be having a nice time while Steven has the worst trip of his life.

Sun King goes on.

"We share what they label 'insanity'. That gives me a gateway into your beautiful, tortured mind. Let me in, Marc. Let US in."

NOT ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE THE SAME. ONE CRAZY DOES NOT ALL CRAZY MAKE.

And Marc starts tripping.

In Marc's mind, we find Marc, Jake, Steven, Khonshu, Sun King, and Ra.

Ra calls Khonshu a "bad boy" and Khonshu calls Ra a "loathsome fascist."

Marc tries to tell himself that this isn't real. Jake demands to know how Ra can be there if it's "all just made up by Marc's mind".

"Steven is distressed and theorizes that "I think we've entered the world of metaphor, Jake. ANd it's scaring the hell out of me."

Bemis must really dislike Steven Grant. He writes him as weak, cowardly, clingy, and narcissistic. Not a fan.

So now, Ra takes hold of Khonshu and tells him to show him the truth.

He spouts a lot of garbage here and it just... It's fanatical. It's... It's dangerous.

What do I mean by that? He's talking about things like righteousness. About prophets and saviors and gives images of a world under idealistic circumstances where everyone gets along because he rules it.

Marc snaps out of his trans by the fire to declare "No... Ra is....RIGHT?!"

There was nothing right about that crap. It makes no sense. It’s just propaganda crap. There is no just and right and perfect in this vision. It’s a problem. A big problem.

END ISSUE.

One more to go. I can’t wait to put the Sun King behind us.

After all? How much worse can it get? (spoilers so much worse. Sooooooo much worse).

ISSUE # 193

I like how the past two covers have had NOTHING to do with the actual story inside. It’s like they are trying to make it look cooler and more dramatic than things are.

Moon Knight in the jungle? I’d read that. Marc spent a lot of time in South America. Although, standing on his cape like that means he can't stand up without falling out of the tree. Just saying.

Alright so... Marc went on a drug trp and came to the realization that Ra and Sun King were right for some reason?

And this broke him and made him some passive weakling for some reason?

We see him wake up the next day and being kicked around and dragged around because "the moon can't save me now."

Then he's taken to a tent with some old lady outside knitting and she uses her flaming hot knitting needles to burn a sun into his back?

Back with Frenchie and Diatrice, we see her praying to "Dear Mister Khonshu" and she asks that he not let "the bad men kill my daddy."

She asks him to let Marc save her mom so they can be a family.

Marc is pretty broken now and he's taken to see Marlene.

He tells her that "this time is different"

"I know. He's different. I know because I'm actually scared."

And Marc begs Marlene not to let Diatrice forget him because he's going to die.

Why are they acting like Sun King is some super huge bad guy unlike any they have ever faced before? They have faced WORSE.

He's fought ghosts. He's fought vampires. He's fought werewolves. He's faced aliens and apocalyptic events!

Some hippy looking man with flames is NOTHING.

HE'S FOUGHT SO MANY ANIMALS (I need to make a list).

Marc is taken to a ring of fire and tossed inside to face the Sun King in a battle to the death.

He tells Marc to fight like he means it or he'll hunt down his daughter and burn her to death.

They fight and he takes a beating because suddenly Sun King knows how to fight?

He sets fire to Marc more than a few times.

Back in the head space, Jake tells Khonshu that they have to do something.

I have real issue with the assessment here.

Khonshu tells him:

"Look around us. We're just faint firings of his synapses now. His defense against the darkness. As we have been since his childhood, and...Our connection is nearly severed. He is alone now, save for death itself."

This is the belief that Marc is "the original" and that he created the others to deal with things and gave them all parts of himself.

This is old thinking that people with DID were just shattered and broken bits of themselves that needed to be put back together. It's outdated. It's insulting.

Why does everything Khonshu says just sound like absolute drivel?

Like he was TRYING to be deep and just spouting off things that sounded metaphorical. It's just bad writing. He's clearly trying to copy Lemire.

So he asks if Jake has ever believed in anything.

And Jake remembers Diatrice.

And they all take a moment to bask in the glow of their daughter’s memory.

Then we get Steven’s version of what Khonshu said.

Yeah. This is where that saying comes from.

Somehow this gives them the ability to punch harder?

And he starts beating on Sun King.

He gets the Sun King to admit that he fears him now for some reason.

And this makes everyone happy like some sort of 1980s movie.

And the Sun King can no longer use his fire. Because

"I convinced you. Now Bow before me you horrible bastard."

I'm not sure it works like that, Marc. But sure. You convinced him.

And the Sun King bows down before him.

"Thus ends the reign of the Sun King."

And the people in the croud are cheering? Despite being there to support the Sun King and because they hate Moon Knight.

Later we find Marlene bandaging up Marc's burns.

The Truth stands by watching for the boat to return to get them off the island.

"The man's cause is dead to me. Proven false by his impotence. I would undo any affiliation I had with him. I've found the facts of life to be more...Malleable than I realized. Maybe with some time in a room by myself...I might reassess my purpose."

Yeah sure. A man is impotent because he lost a fight with another man and now no one believes in him.

This is some fucked up masculine toxicity.

Marc turns to address the other people on the island.

"All of you just got stuck on a desert island because you let yourself get convinced of a bunch of crap by a completely mad super villain."

Uh huh. So the notion of him raising his own group of followers and warriors out of normal people. Cause that isn’t an issue. Obviously these people are easily swayed and maybe a bit fanatical. So telling them that you are now the new leader is not problematic at ALL.

Also? That “I believe” in the back?

We get a zoom in. I’m not going to show you the image.

It’s Dr. Emmett!

She's in her Moon Knight cloak thing (why would she bring that to the island with her if she was there following Sun King?).

She's covered in burn scars and missing an eye. It's drawn to look like a rotten hole.

Does no one believe in medical care here? Open eye holes are a problem. They run a risk of infection! Also they don't just stay open eye holes. The eyelids will collapse downward a bit.

Anyways. She's back there going "I believe... I believe! Your doctor believes, Marc!"

And the comic ends there.

That was something alright. UGH.

Give me a second to gather my thoughts up from this burning dump of ableism and poorly depicted mental health peppered with racism and anti-semitism.

Volume one of Bemis is like a love letter to the kinds of people that think it’s fun and funny to show mentally ill people as dangerous, wild, unpredictable, and overall pathetic.

The continuous use of language like ‘Insane’ and ‘Crazy’ is more than poor taste. It’s a constant reminder that we aren’t supposed to see Moon Knight as normal at all or even sympathies or identify with him.

You see, there is a difference between “We have the power of crazy” and “You were the only superpower I ever had.”

A big difference.

In the former, it’s played up for laughs. Much like the old gags of seeing a man in a dress. It doesn’t age well but it persists. It persists because it still garners laughs. And the people that are still laughing are the people like Bemis. And he draws in more people who are like minded and he tells them it’s okay to keep laughing.

The latter is a beautiful way to show that having DID was a powerful and wonderful way to be strong enough to survive when everything didn’t want you to.

How did he get away with this? He is Bipolar. I’m not going to argue if he is or isn’t. I don’t know him and that’s his own personal history. I’m going to argue that being Bipolar does not give you the right to assume you understand ALL mental illnesses or that you can write for all of them. Or even lump crazy with crazy.

Marvel is the sort to say “Ah yes, this person had a drink with a black person once so they should be able to write for Luke Cage.” Or “I took high school spanish so I can write for Miles Morales.”

We can’t put up with this anymore. We can’t let them do this. We can’t let Marvel keep perpetuating things that hurt us. That hurt others. That keeps ripping the power away from those with so very little to begin with.

So this is Vol 1 of Bemis.

“But Drifting Pieces” you might say “How can it get worse than this? This was pretty bad.”

My friend… You are in for a ride.

PART THREE: HERE

#Moon Knight #Moon Knight Comics #Analyzing the comics #BEMIS #This took forever to do. You have no idea #I kept wishing it was over and it kept going #Who let this trajedy happen?#I'm doing this for you #Please read this #It took so long #End of Volume one at least #The next one is worse

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