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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years ago

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Hey! I love your meta’s, a little while ago you talked about The Order of the Phoenix as an organization could you talk about the Death Eaters?

The post anon is referencing.

TL;DR the Order is incompetently hilarious and Dumbledore is a man who trusts no one.

Oh, the Death Eaters, what to say about the Death Eaters...

In a World Without Voldemort, They'd Probably Be Arsonists

One of the things JKR implies in the series, and something fandom seems to take for granted, is that Tom Riddle is the ultimate corrupting influence.

Were it not for him, the Wizarding World would be a much better place, and people like Bellatrix LeStrange would be productive members of society.

As soon as he is killed, even, by Harry, the good guys win, their problems all presumably solved, and Harry tells his son Albus Severus that it's totally fine if he's put into Slytherin.

I don't believe that though.

To me, it's not so much that Tom Riddle corrupted these people, but that he gave them an organized cause. The people themselves, oh, they were itching for a fight.

In a world without Tom I think they'd be a loosely, poorly organized, group (probably with Bellatrix as the ring leader) where they commit acts of domestic terrorism probably involving burning offensive shops to the ground or attacking muggleborns, halfbloods, and blood traitors.

Voldemort, to me, is designed to pander to them (and not the other way around).

The Death Eaters' Beginnings

So, first off, I think Tom's goals are not what he says they are. What he represents to his followers is exactly what they want to hear, wrapped in a grandiose theatric bow that they just love.

But how did this all start?

First, I don't believe in the Knights of Walpurgis. Instead I think Tom came relatively out of nowhere in the 70's uses parseltongue to prove his heritage as the Heir of Slytherin and thus of purer blood than any of them.

He throws these exciting rallies/parties that the rebellious, angsty, teenage heirs all go to. There he says everything they wanted to hear in the most eloquent manner they've ever heard, promises them the action that their fathers have never delivered, promises them a role in the glorious revolution and a place in history, and probably offers them mounds of cocaine.

All the Death Eaters we see, or the core of them, appear to be in this age range where they'd be in Hogwarts or just out of it when Voldemort came knocking. I can imagine they're all whipped up with excitement, YEAH LET'S BLOW UP THE MUDBLOODS and for some that's great, for others... things don't go the way they expected.

October 31, 1981: It All Falls Apart

Regulus famously steals Tom's horcrux. I imagine it wasn't so much that he learned the error of his ways but that he saw what Tom Riddle was really after: the destruction of his very society.

Lucius is riding high until October 31, 1981 and he sees the complete destruction of the entire Black family. Lucius' priorities greatly shift and as he grows older he prays Voldemort never returns. Unfortunately, Tom does, and he charges interest.

Bellatrix absolutely loses her mind, refuses to accept reality, and tries to torture the Longbottoms for information they do not possess. She is imprisoned in Azkaban and never truly recovers from this.

Snape ends up the cause of death for Lily Evans and must forever live with the guilt and be tied to her prophesied son. He also becomes Dumbledore's lackey forever, which ultimately gets him killed.

Point being, no one's having a good time. Some because they figure out being a Death Eater wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and others because they had the Voldemort rug pulled out from under their feet when Tom Riddle disappears.

Pettigrew flees and lives as the Weasley rat for nearly fifteen years.

They're left making a mad scramble as they try to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Canon Catches Up

More than ten years go by and then suddenly, in a muggle graveyard, the surviving Death Eaters discover that they are bound to Voldemort for the rest of their lives.

Death cannot stop this man and he has branded them: there's no escape.

Some are still enthusiastic supporters of the cause: Bellatrix is vindicated that her lord has returned, he rescues her from hell on earth, and everything's finally coming up Bella. Barty is similar in actively working for Voldemort's resurrection.

Lucius, meanwhile, lives in constant terror. Karkaroff desperately flees the country and hopes Tom will not find him. Snape, is in fact, Dumbledore's agent. Pettigrew only returned in utter desperation and has now cut off his own hand.

They're not the young men they were, some of them have families, to some of the past ten years have been utterly miserable. They have to watch as their children make the same damn mistakes they did, be sucked into this same hell hole, and there's nothing they can do about it.

There is a notable reluctance for the cause, and yet, they have to try with the same vigor or this madman will kill them all.

And it's all worthless anyway: come 1998, Voldemort dies again (perhaps for real this time, who knows, Harry Potter seems to think so for whatever reason) and then they are imprisoned for their acts as Death Eaters.

And they just laugh, because how badly Lucius wishes he could go back in time and tell his eighteen-year-old self, "YOU DUMB FUCK, LEAVE NOW!"

But Do They Learn Anything?

No.

Just because we see some of them regret being Death Eaters doesn't mean they regret their beliefs. Their beliefs were fine, even blowing up people here and there, a bit gauche but fine.

But maybe following Voldemort blindly was a bad idea.

Are They More Competent Than the Order?

No.

Tom Riddle is terrifyingly competent in that he infiltrates the government with ease, has spies everywhere, and all but proclaims himself minister one day and nobody blinks.

He gains the full support of most of the wizarding world's wealthiest and prestigious families.

But he doesn't actually give these people anything to do. Because there's nothing for them to do, with them, Tom's won. He owns the Wizengamot, the Ministry, everything.

There's no need to fight. It's over, there never was a war. Society is primed to accept Tom Riddle as their ruler.

However, the likes of Bellatrix LeStrange thinks there's a glorious war on, so "uh, go out and blow up a few muggles, have fun." And the young Death Eaters (and the older ones), think they've committed this great, daring, brave, and very important act.

Tom only seems to hand out real assignments when in desperate straits or else when being particularly vindictive.

Lucius, after messing up with the diary, is told to retrieve a prophecy he is not allowed to touch in a department of the ministry he should have no access to. If he fails: Tom kills his entire family. When Lucius does fail, Tom assigns his son to assassinate an already dying Dumbledore. These aren't real tasks, though they do have the appearance of one, and consequences for failure.

Barty, Tom is forced to rely on, as he is trapped in this dying infant's body. And better Barty, someone who is truly loyal and seems fairly clever, than Peter Pettigrew who is a miserable scum bag who'd sell his grandmother for a bar of soap.

Barty, of course, fucks this up. Rather than just kidnap Harry Potter at any of the many easy points this could be done (Hogsmeade trip, lure Harry out to Hogsmeade with super secret serial information about Voldemort/Snape being a Death Eater, etc.), Barty is determined to make use of the Triwizard Tournament to destroy his father's legacy.

This means rather than a few weeks, it takes months to kidnap Harry, and even then they bring along an extra boy who then gets killed and provides some evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned. (Somebody murdered Cedric). It takes months and Barty actively ensuring Harry makes it through the tournament and does well, leaving open the possibility that he might get caught helping Harry cheat at any moment. And of course, Barty has to pretend to be Madeye Moody for months, keeping his man locked and drugged in his trunk.

Thankfully, Moody's such a paranoid wreck, no one even notices.

Quirrell, Tom is forced to rely on. Quirrell fucks up, though admittedly not as badly as Barty. Quirrell fails to steal the stone when it's in transit/in Gringotts. He fails to murder Harry Potter, an eleven year old boy in the world's most dangerous school. He rouses Snape's suspicion almost immediately. Then of course he doesn't get the stone. He at least gets to the room with the stone and nearly overpowers Harry and gets it had he not been mysteriously lit on fire by the power of love/Lily Evans.

The only one Tom ever really relies on by choice is Snape. Snape is charged with spying on Dumbledore and later running Hogwarts (which he fucks up).

There is only one competent man in Britain: Severus Snape. Which is, of course, why he's a double agent that Dumbledore and Tom both extensively rely on despite his being a double agent.

There's no one else.

Tom Riddle doesn't make use of the Death Eaters but given they prove themselves enthusiastically incompetent at every turn I don't blame him. Just pretend to give them something to do and hope it makes them feel important.

That's all I've got in general, you want anything else you'll have to ask for something more specific.

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captainpikeachu · 4 years ago

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I kept wondering why Booker and Copley’s “plan” seem like such a mess that don’t really make much coherent thought-out sense, and I think I figured out why. Because they had no thought out plan at all and just made shit up as it went along.

Now obviously before the film even started, Copley clearly reached out to Booker and they were in on it together to get the team to Sudan for the mission that ended in the killbox.

That original plan was likely get video of the team’s abilities as “proof” and then get samples from the killbox site. It was a naive idealistic plan.

The rest of the team wasn’t suppose to get involved really. Because right after they survive the killbox, when Andy is saying they have to go find Copley, this is Booker’s response.

He is trying to subtly dissuade Andy from going down the path of looking for Copley, probably because the idea is they all go back, maybe go separate ways and hide until this all blows over. This way it’s simple, and no one else needs to be involved anymore than necessary.

But as I said, it was a naive plan, because of course Andy doesn’t let it go.

And then they get dreams about Nile and Andy plans to go find her, Booker is the first to speak against it, he’d rather they go after the Copley angle than drag Nile into it because again, the plan wasn’t to put everyone at risk. And his agitation in all of this scene shows a bit of his fear that the plan is unraveling because nothing is going according to his “plan”.

Now, you might ask, couldn’t Copley and Booker have anticipated that Merrick was an evil no good bastard? Well, no, not really. Because at this point, Merrick is still just another pharma CEO whose products are actually helping people. There’s nothing for Copley to assume he’s some sadistic evil jailer type of a person. His work, and Doctor Kozak’s work are actually helping people. We see Merrick talking about this at the presentation, we see Copley react to it. Someone could be a businessman and not be an evil sadistic cruel monster.

And there is really nothing illogical to what Merrick is asking either.

Of course if they want to do research, they are going to need those things. It would not raise any alarm bells for Copley. And as Merrick even stated, the video evidence is not hard proof, and it doesn’t tell Doctor Kozak the “how” all of this works and what is causing it.

And if anything, it seems that the plan wasn’t even necessarily to bring anyone in, but rather get samples from the killbox site. Obviously they did not anticipate the amount of unexpected carnage. They weren’t ready for how fast the team healed and how fast they took out everyone. The reality is that there was no thought-out mastermind plan, it was just really adapting and changing the plan to suit the moment. Make it up as you go along.

I mean, Copley literally scoffs when Merrick says he needs all of the team. And even then he’s like, maybe just one.

Copley isn’t even sure at this point that he can be guaranteed to get Booker. He THINKS he could but even he’s not sure. So clearly the plan was never for Booker to end up in a lab either. The plan wasn’t for any of them to end up in any labs. Copley’s even like, “they are extremely resistant to capture”, he’s not even got any heart in that plan working out after the killbox, but Merrick is insistent, and again, if the team is immortal, then they can’t die so I’m sure Copley’s reasoning is that nobody is dying from this, nobody is really getting hurt if they capture the team.

Now when Andy calls Booker after picking up Nile, Booker says he’s got no leads on Copley. I’m not sure when between this scene and the attack on the safehouse that Booker and Copley may have spoken, and I’m also honestly not sure what the whole plan was for that attack. Because it seems like the soldiers sent in didn’t know about Booker to also take him, yet the dialogue also doesn’t make it seem like Copley had meant for Booker to be left behind either.

Copley doesn’t chide the soldiers or tell them to go pick up Booker too. I don’t know if Copley thought just get the other three and wait for Booker to piece himself back together before calling Booker to join the rest? Really, this whole attack is honestly not that well planned out. Because why didn’t Copley attack when everyone was inside the room? Why did they go in when Andy and Nile were outside and likely to escape? And why didn’t Booker have a signal for Copley if he was in on all this?

Wouldn’t a guarantee plan be attack while everyone is inside or everyone is asleep? I mean, was that the original plan, to attack when they were all asleep and Nile kinda ruined that by waking everyone up? But even if so, if they didn’t know everyone was going to be awake, shouldn’t Booker and Copley have some communication device where Booker can signal Copley and tell him when to attack so that Andy isn’t outside when it happens and thus giving her the chance to escape in the first place if they wanted her? This all seems to attest that none of this plan was really thought out. And the moment Andy got loose and they saw the carnage she was leaving behind, Copley just NOPES THE FUCK OUT.

So when Booker is telling Andy how he doesn’t know how many soldiers and what happened, honestly I don’t think he was even lying because this whole “plan” seems to lack any kind of decent communication between Booker and Copley at all????

It’s not until Merrick meets Nicky and Joe and he stabs Joe that Copley starts to have some alarm bells, and he says to Merrick that this is about science, not profits or sadism. But at this point, the plan is already in motion, and Copley probably could justify his actions that they’ll take a few samples, the immortals will heal and go free, and everyone benefits. It’s not entirely unreasonable when they’ve already spent so much effort getting them there. He could still make excuses.

EDIT: had to fix the sequence of events that I got incorrect in the original post

Now Copley’s next time talking to Merrick is either hours or days later, I’m not sure because Copley has a new coat but Merrick is still wearing the same one from the previous scene. This is where they have the conversation about proprietary data and we learn that Merrick plans to keep the team basically forever.

Copley even questions that idea but Merrick is like, okay if this takes decades, what does it matter to immortals who’ve been alive for thousands of years. It’s the blink of an eye. Again, Copley here likely justifies this by the benefit of the greater good. Nobody is permanently dying, a few decades locked up but it could still save a lot of lives. He’s busy digging into that “greater good and saving lives” idea.

Now I wasn’t sure when Copley had time to reach out to Booker to form the plan to lure Andy and Nile to Copley’s place. Everyone was together for most of that so it’s not like Booker could slip away to make a phone call, unless their discussions were through messages on the computer? But then we know that Nile and Andy were outside discussing things in the morning, so Booker could have waited until Nile left and he was alone and then contacted Copley about what’s going on and Copley could have given him the location at that time.

I’m not sure what Copley said to Booker, or how much time they even had to be able to talk about what’s going on, but we know that Copley now knows that Merrick wants to keep the team at least for a good chunk of time. However, I’m not sure what he actually told Booker. Maybe he didn’t say anything about being locked up forever because he didn’t want to risk Booker calling off the plan due to that change. I mean, Booker at this point also hasn’t told Copley about Nile at all so it’s entirely possible that both Copley and Booker held back things they didn’t tell the other. So Booker likely still thinks that this is gonna be okay, it’s just get some samples, it’s not a permanent thing.

When Booker finally admits what’s going on to Andy, he simply thinks Merrick could find a way to end their immortality. There is nothing here to indicate that he somehow planned for them to be locked up forever like lab rats. Even the way Booker talks, he just thinks when Merrick finds out a way, then he and Andy could just choose to take the drug and end it. He still thinks ending the immortality is a choice, not trying to force it on anyone to permanently end it.

This is shown through his panic when he realizes that Andy is not immortal anymore and that she could die, not by her choice but by him shooting her. It makes it rather clear that he didn’t intend for anyone to die, he just wanted to give them all a choice of death if they wanted it.

The moment it became a possibility that death not by choice could happen, Booker was ready to take Andy and run. Fuck the plans.

And if Merrick’s people didn’t come in at that moment, they’d have gone. Hell, even Copley was gonna help Booker to get Andy out. He also, like Booker, is not planning for anyone to die. The whole point was that these are immortal people who can’t die, so they could take the risk of this procedure. But not to torment on people who can now actually die.

Booker truly realizes the mess he’s gotten them all involved in when Merrick clearly doesn’t care that Andy is injured and still plans to take her. He realizes then that all this time he thought they had somewhat of a choice, but they really didn’t, Merrick couldn’t care less about what they think. And I think he’s fighting so hard to get to Andy because he doesn’t want any of them to be stuck in a cage. This is not what he wanted. And Andy’s possible murder is not what Copley wanted either. Unfortunately Copley only realizes that before it is way too late and he gets knocked out because Merrick doesn’t really need him anymore.

So at the end of the day, Booker and Copley’s plans were a confusing mess because they never really masterminded some really thought-out manipulating plan. They were really just adapting and changing and making shit up as they went along. Booker was caught up with finding a way to die, and Copley was so caught up in finding a way to help everyone live, that neither of them even realize that they were the lambs being led to the slaughter. They both were way too naive and way too idealistic about the outcome.

Seriously, they made the Ned-Stark-mistake, they thought everyone else was playing by the same honorable ethical rules that they themselves followed. And in the end, they both got stabbed in the back by Merrick and played for fools. The road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed.

#the old guard #sebastien le livre #james copley #the more times i watch this the more im just like you two naive doofuses #you are such ned stark types #i love yall but yall should have known better

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kiss-my-freckle · 3 years ago

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Damon Salvatore: The Departed

"You're not that girl anymore. It's okay if you want to let her go."

I love this episode because of the way it's written. It solidifies the end of 3x11. The girl who had a normal life will die. If she's gonna fall in love with vampires, she's gonna be a vampire. Flashbacks thrown in for the sake of it. At the open, the happy cheerleader that didn't lose both her parents. Now, it makes her miserable. "I'd quit cheerleading if I were you." Same with the Miss Mystic Falls dance. "This isn't me, I'm not this person anymore.” I’d tell you why I love that dance, but I’ll save it for another day. Say goodbye to the girl who said, "People look up to me. I have to set an example." Vampirism will make it difficult for her to live up to expectations. Mistakes will be made.

Elena: I have to let one of them go. Matt: Which one?

Stefan walks through the door. There's your answer. He’s the only one willing to respect every single choice Elena makes. Matt doesn't agree with him. Probably because her choices always go sideways. He steps in to say something about the last choice she made. "Why should she trust you? All you've done is screw her over." Because Stefan always respects her choices, they're just as much his choices, so yes... he needed to watch Klaus drain Elena of all her blood just to watch Elijah turn around and save Klaus. Damon is the only one who’s willing to make the tough decisions, which makes everyone hate him. "Not! Hello! Did that concussion give you brain damage? His lunatic siblings will kill you the first chance they get!" Elijah hands Elena another promise to be broken, just as Matt suspected and Damon warned. "Rebekah and Kol will honor the terms if you return Klaus' body to us. Elena will come to no harm." Rebekah won't be honoring anything. Best to listen to Damon, that’s all I’m saying.

Damon: No! No, no, no, no. Did I mention, no! Stefan: Elena, it's up to you. Damon: Oh, come on!

Because Stefan always respects her choices, they're just as much his choices, so yes...he needs to be the one to watch Elena turn into a vampire.

Damon: I'm not halfway out of Virginia, and Elena sells our soul to the originals? Bonnie: It's her call. Damon: You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever.

Elena’s kindness is definitely her weakness. Stefan knows every call she makes is a bad call, but he still respects her choices. Damon’s gonna slam her for those choices after she turns, and I love the fact that he does. You can’t challenge or change someone if all you do is kiss their ass for respect. I wonder how many times her life needs to be put on the line for the sake of it. And Stefan’s gonna do it again when he decides it best she go without feeding.

Damon: You just had to let her make the choice, didn't you? Stefan: What would you have done, Damon? Damon: Grabbed her, gagged her, threw her in a well. I don't know, anything other than let her trust Elijah! Stefan: You know she'd just hate you for it, right? Damon: Yeah, but she'd be alive and she'd hate me. Thus, the eternal difference between you and me, brother.

Damon already spoke of this before. "Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive." Elena’s respect doesn’t mean a damn if she’s dead. Stefan will respect her choice, no matter how wrong that choice is, except (of course) choices regarding her relationship with Damon.

Elena didn't want Stefan to kiss her. That's why she doesn't hold him. Her arms quite literally remain at her side. It’s dead ass. Note all dialogues centered on time. Right now - later - always. I’m not just talking about this episode, I’m talking about previous episodes. There are a few parallels in them.

"What, so we can have an epic goodbye, Stefan?" Reserved for the series finale. "I was feeling epic." Stefan doesn't get to choose for Damon, so no... Stefan won’t be saying goodbye to Elena on Damon’s behalf. Stefan can only choose for himself, and he chose to save Matt instead of Elena. I knew Delena would end up together after 3x2. But this episode... imo, it solidified Delena as endgame. Any time I see a romance like this, arcs aside, it matters who turned her. Damon’s blood was in her system, he’s the man she’ll end up with. Under different circumstances, I’d feel differently, but not this circumstance.

Matt pulls a Damon, drugs Elena for the sake of getting her out of town. "Well, I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure that we ALL come back." Important to note the promise Stefan made."If Klaus is the one that turned their bloodline, then they're ALL going to die." Because ALL includes Damon, and Matt knows she's in love with him.

Is it a coincidence that Matt is driving Elena out of town when Damon is out of town? I’m not so sure. Damon had no reason to ask Elena where she is. She’s supposed to be in Mystic Falls, at home so that Stefan can say goodbye to her on Damon’s behalf. “I can KEEP driving to him...” I questioned where Matt was heading with Elena, and my thoughts went directly to the lake house, where she and Damon end up in season four. “I can't have people knowing I'm in town yet." I feel that part of the flashback is important for Damon. “Damon, hey... hey, listen to me. We'll survive this. We always survive. Trust me.” Either lay there and die or fight to see her again.

Stefan already knows that Elena has Damon’s blood in her system, so he knows she’s in transition. He’s devastated. His choice to support her choice, so it’s his pain to feel. Understand the difference in Elena’s feelings as they change in the storyline surrounding them. Stefan is worse at being a vampire than she is, and he’s been a vampire for 145 years. Take that as you will.

Damon became her always. “I can’t think about always.” That’s why she has to say goodbye to him. She believes everyone is dying, so there's no “later” for anyone. Understand the timing of Damon’s question because she’s lying to him. If she were gonna choose Stefan, that kiss he planted on her earlier would’ve looked a lot different. That whole, “Forget it. We can talk later" is their breakup. She was planning to let him go, but she chose to wait until they took care of Vamp-Alaric. Now that she believes Stefan is dying, you can take this back to 3x16, and add in the flashback of her parents drowning.

Elena: But... it's like I knew that he would never stop loving me, like he would never... Matt: What? Elena: Die. Like he would never die. Matt: Like your parents did.

Throwing in my opinion, one that I feel I should add. These scenes of Elena drowning and Damon fighting Vamp-Alaric... that’s Delena saving eachother. Had Elena chosen herself over Matt, Damon would be dead. She died saving Damon from Vamp-Alaric, and Damon’s blood had to be in Elena’s system for him to save her. I can’t tell you how much I cried when Alaric stopped in to speak to Jeremy. I was so scared he was still a vampire, and then I was like... omg, it’s Alaric. Let me bawl my eyes out now. Then I was like, omg.... make me cry harder as he realizes his sister is dead because she’s his only surviving family.

I have to wonder what choice Stefan would’ve made had he known Damon’s blood was in Elena’s system. He knows she wanted to save Matt, but he also knows she never wanted to be a vampire.

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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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The Walking Dead Season 11: Who Lives and Who Dies

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Walking Dead article contains major spoilers.

Many of us thought this day would never come, but as all of The Walking Dead‘s characters know very well, everything that has a beginning has an end. Season 11 of AMC’s flagship zombie drama will be the show’s final run of episodes, but fortunately it’s an expanded season. Fans will get 24 more episodes, broken up into three parts, before the show — and a few of its characters — meets its end.

And it wouldn’t be a season of The Walking Dead without a few big deaths along the way. As we have in past seasons, we’ve made some predictions regarding who will bite the bullet in season 11. For the final time, here are the characters we think are on the chopping block and the ones we believe will live on to remember them after the credits roll on the series finale.

Keep track of all The Walking Dead season 11 deaths below:

DEAD

Roy (C. Thomas Howell)

Prediction: Dies

Result: Dead

Roy took an arrow to the face during a Reaper ambush.

Gage (Jackson Pace)

Prediction: Dies

Result: Dead

Gage stabbed himself in the chest twice, attempting to kill himself before being devoured by walkers in a train car. Zombie Gage was then put down with a shot to the head by Gabriel.

ALIVE

Pope (Ritchie Coster)

Prediction: Dies

I’ve never seen a guy more likely to die in the first half of a Walking Dead season than Pope, the leader of the show’s newest villains, the Reapers, who themselves strike me as filler villains for Maggie and Daryl while the real story at the Commonwealth develops. I assume the Reapers will be out of the picture by the time Alexandria needs to turn its attention to the much larger settlement in the second part of season 11.

Pamela Milton (Laila Robins)

Prediction: Dies

The Governor of the Commonwealth is poised to be the final season’s big bad. A bureaucrat hellbent on preserving the way things were before the zombie outbreak, Milton even established a caste system within her settlement to propagate class inequality. She represents everything that was wrong with the world before the fall of society and the complete anti-thesis of how the Alexandrians do things.

If you’ve read the comics, you know how Pamela’s story ends in Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard’s story, but the TV series is known for taking sharp left turns when you least expect it. One thing we know for sure is that the Alexandrians will have to reckon with Pamela’s rule before the series finale.

Lance Hornsby (Josh Hamilton)

Prediction: Dies

A Commonwealth acolyte and bookkeeper of the community, Lance is one of Milton’s chief personnel, helping her run the settlement’s government. He’s also seems like cannon fodder to me as things heat up between the Commonwealth and Alexandria, an early death that could spark a conflict between the two factions.

Mercer (Michael James Shaw)

Prediction: Lives

Mercer is loyal to the Commonwealth but there are more sides to him than his distinct orange military armor lets on. He’s one of the most interesting characters of the comic’s final storyline, and it would be a shame to lose him before we can see his story through.

Elijah (Okea Eme-Akwari)

Prediction: Lives

Elijah made his debut in one of the most WTF moments of season 10 when he rescued Aaron and Alden from the Whisperers. For weeks after his reveal, people wondered who the man in the steal mask could be. When he returned in the final six episodes of season 10, the show just kind of moved on without fleshing him out, which is unfortunate since he looks so cool! I’m going to assume that the series is saving a big Elijah-focused episode for later in the season and that he’s too awesome to kill off. You don’t just introduce a blade expert in a steel mask for no reason!

Virgil (Kevin Carroll)

Prediction: Dies

Virgil has a lot to atone for after kidnapping and drugging Michonne in season 10. At the end of the season, we learn that he’s found a disoriented Connie in the woods. His redemption arc will likely include helping Connie survive on the walker-infested road back to Alexandria. Will that eventually involve a final sacrifice to save her?

Connie (Lauren Ridloff)

Prediction: Lives

Connie’s been through a hell of a lot in the past season. After surviving an explosion, a cave-in, and an entire walker horde, Connie’s made it out of Whisperer territory but is still a ways from home. Expect part of season 11’s story to be about Connie’s odyssey and ultimate reunion with her sister and Daryl.

Lydia (Cassady McClincy)

Prediction: Lives

Lydia was at the center of Alexandria’s conflict with the Whisperers for a season and a half. With Alpha and Beta defeated, and their faction all but obliterated, I have to wonder what Lydia has left to do on the show. That said, the writers have continued to find interesting ways to explore this character, and someone has to live on to lead the next generation of Alexandrians. I think Lydia is in it for the long haul.

Magna (Nadia Hilker)

Prediction: Dies

Magna was sidelined pretty quickly after her introduction. While a reunion with Yumiko seems like the logical direction for her story, The Walking Dead universe is a cruel one. She could be headed toward tragedy.

Yumiko (Eleanor Matsuura)

Prediction: Lives

In season 11, Yumiko is inheriting a major storyline from the comics that likely means she’ll survive the final 24 episodes of the series. Of course, the TV show could always alter that storyline to bring a tragic end to Yumiko’s story.

Luke (Dan Fogler)

Prediction: Dies

It’s pretty wild that Luke has survived as long as he has. A man of the arts hardly has a place in the cruel world of this show, but he has clumsily persevered thus far. But if the writers are planning an especially bloody final season, I’d put Luke on the short list.

Kelly (Angel Theory)

Prediction: Lives

Kelly has been one of the best late additions to the show. It would suck for her to finally reunite with her sister only to meet an unexpected end.

Alden (Callan McAuliffe)

Prediction: Dies

Another candidate for the chopping block. I’m surprised he’s even made it this long.

King Ezekiel (Khary Payton)

Prediction: Lives

Yes, Ezekiel has thyroid cancer, and were he in Alexandria, that would mean his inevitable death. But the Commonwealth is a different ballgame, an advanced settlement in the comics that will likely have the doctors and surgical resources needed to save him. That is, if Ezekiel isn’t caught up in Milton’s caste system.

Jerry (Cooper Andrews)

Prediction: Dies

I love Jerry and don’t want to see the tank with a heart of gold go. But if the season needs an early death that pulls at the heart strings, Jerry is a prime candidate for a midseason casualty.

Father Gabriel Stokes (Seth Gilliam)

Prediction: Lives

Gabriel has evolved so much since his debut in season 5, becoming one of Alexandria’s key leaders. He’s come so far and even survived longer than his comic book counterpart. I’d hate to see him go so close to the end. So I’m just going to say he lives.

Aaron (Ross Marquand)

Prediction: Lives

Aaron seemed destined to die seasons ago, too kind and trusting to survive this long. But here he is, still fighting and surviving. He’s lost the man he loves, his arm, and many friends — and it’s all hardened him into a war machine. It’d be a shame for him to die now.

Rosita Espinosa (Christian Serratos)

Prediction: Lives

In the comics, Rosita’s head ended up on a pike during the Whisperer war, but her TV counterpart has persevered. It’s difficult to predict where her story goes at this point, but since she survived her comic book death, I assume the show’s writers have something in mind for her in season 11.

Eugene Porter (Josh McDermitt)

Prediction: Lives

Eugene has become an unlikely protagonist going into season 11. From a mulleted coward hiding behind his intelligence so that others protect him to the Alexandrian leading his people to the Commonwealth, Eugene is central to the plot of the final season, and I think that means he’s safe. Plus, Eugene is hilarious, and The Walking Dead can always use a little comedic relief.

Judith Grimes (Cailey Fleming)

Prediction: Lives

Result: Lived

NO.

Rick Grimes Jr. (Antony Azor)

Prediction: Lives

Nah.

Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)

Prediction: Lives

I think The Walking Dead is going to end with one last big death, one last sacrifice before the credits roll on the massive zombie drama. Like Rick in the comics, one of the major characters of the TV series will likely become the martyr who inspires change inside the Commonwealth’s walls. Negan would probably be on the short list for this big moment from the comics, a villain finally choosing to do the right thing for a cause bigger than himself, a fitting conclusion to his seasons-long redemption arc. But Jeffrey Dean Morgan recently teased that he was already having discussions with AMC about a potential Negan spinoff after The Walking Dead has concluded, which means the former Savior leader is safe…unless the Negan show is a prequel.

Carol Peletier (Melissa McBride)

Prediction: Lives

This one’s an easy one: Melissa McBride is getting her own spinoff that will follow her character after The Walking Dead series finale. That means she’s safe.

Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus)

Prediction: Lives

Norman Reedus is joining McBride for that spinoff, so he’s safe, too. The actor even told us what the Daryl and Carol show will be about.

Maggie Rhee (Lauren Cohan)

Prediction: Dies

That leaves The Walking Dead with one logical choice to pick up Rick’s final storyline from the comic. It’s Maggie. It also makes a bit of sense from a logistical standpoint. Lauren Cohan has already left The Walking Dead universe once before to pursue other small and big screen projects. She’s back for the final 24 episodes of the series as a welcome legacy character but that doesn’t mean Cohan wants to stick around for longer than that. I assume Cohan’s returned to bring closure to her character, not to prepare for a spinoff.

Let us know your predictions for The Walking Dead season 11 in the comments!

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fuckyeahharryhart · 4 years ago

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BECAUSE NO ONE ASKED ME, HERE IS MY DISSERTATION ON KINGSMAN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE AND WHY IT DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME MAGIC AS THE SECRET SERVICE

What do we want from a sequel? Personally, I want to see all the characters that I love again. I want them to be true to how they were in the first movie. I want consistency. I want to know more about them. I want them to build stronger relationships with each other. I want to see them grow. Evolve. Change if they need to. I want good things for them. I want them to be able to face conflicts.

One of the great reasons to have sequels is that we want to see our favorite characters grow and develop.

In TGC, right away, we’ve lost Roxy. More on that later. We lose Merlin. More on THAT later. Right there, they’ve lost so much potential for the third movie. We’ve lost relationships that were meaningful and could have strengthened. So much could have happened within this core group. Their experience could build on experience and add so much history and depth. Their loss wasn’t even handled in a way that really made us feel like it was a crucial point of the movie. It was more like “That sucked, but oh well.” More on THAT, too.

We were introduced to new characters, but no relationships were developed between the Kingsman agents or the Statesman agents. There would be potential to create new relationships to replace the ones that were lost. But that never really happened either. We weren’t given a reason to REALLY care about Statesman. I mean, they were interesting and entertaining. But they weren’t even super helpful in the mission, and they mainly provided the resources that the Kingsman agents needed since the Kingsman HQ was blown up. And they saved Harry.

I can’t really name one close bond between the two agencies. Sure they sent over Tequila in the end, but we don’t even know anything about him other than he’s kind of a bad boy, does drugs and was from “the wrong side of the tracks”. Wouldn’t it have been more interesting if he and Eggsy developed a friendship? Both of them are from the wrong side of the tracks. It would make it more meaningful when Tequila got sick. We were supposed to care about him, but we weren’t even given the chance to. There was so much potential that was not taken advantage of. Basically, we met Tequila, he got sick, got better and then got sent to Kingsman.

There are so many other premises that could have worked for TGC. My main issue with THC it that it didn’t have “heart”. It didn’t have the same emotional impact that TSS did. We were invested in TSS in a way that we’d weren’t in TGC. They set up conflict, introduced new bad guys and new good guys, but there were no relationships between them, we had no particular reason to care about them or what happened to them. There wasn’t anything really behind the show, behind the action. No real character or relationship development. Everything that happened was a plot device or really had nothing to do with the story or the characters at all.

I understand that they wanted to keep things light and fun and entertaining and not be to serious, but that doesn’t mean that the movie can’t have depth and feeling. It was more like a group of kids got together and said “wouldn’t it be cool if we put this in a movie” and tried to build a movie around different scenes rather than starting from the heart. Like “wouldn’t it be cool if someone got tossed in a meat mincer? Or how about an out of control ski lift spins around and then then crashes into a tower? We can show it sliding down the side of a mountain!” And then the kids high five.

My point is that most of the action scenes were sort of superfluous, whereas the action scenes in TSS were crucial or at least connected to the plot or the main characters. Like the car chase scene in the beginning of TGS was cool and fun to watch, but would the movie be the same without it? Kind of. And it certainly didn’t need to be that long or drawn out. They got to show off cool gadgets, which seemed like the only purpose, other than Charlie’s robot arm hacking their computer.

I could start anywhere. So I’ll just start somewhere. Let’s say the beginning.

The movie starts out with Eggsy. He is now a Kingsman agent and seems to have his life together.

Immediately enters Charlie Hesketh, Kingsman reject. He had a beef with Eggsy. There was a huge car chase action scene. Charlie has a robot arm. They both survive and get away. We get to see some old and new tech. Entertaining to watch, but no real substance.

Bringing back Charlie would not have been my first choice. He was an asshole in the first movie and he’s more of on asshole in this movie. He had a satisfying comeuppance in the first movie and there were no loose ends in his case. We assume he died with the others from the exploding microchip. He had a complete character arch in TSS. He was established as an upper class asshole. Got kicked out of Kingsman for being a pussy. Still carried a grudge with Eggsy and held him at knife point in Valentine’s lair and ratted him out. Got shocked by Eggsy for his trouble. Assumed deceased and that was fine with us.

Eggsy never did anything mean to Charlie, certainly not enough to warrant serious violence. Apparently, Charlie was that much of an entitled asshole and sore loser that he took his rejection as a blow to his ego, especially being beaten by a pleb like Eggsy. I didn’t like Charlie. We weren’t supposed to like Charlie. We were fine with Charlie dying.

So why would they bring him back? Well, I suppose it’s a way to link the two movies together. It provides a reason to rehash what happened at the end of TSS for people who did not see it. Introduced some old tech, the electrocuting signet ring, the shoe blade. The car chase was a way to show off all the old and new spy gadgets.

My problem with Charlie right off the bat was that they didn’t give him a reason to come back. How did he and Poppy find each other? How did he get mixed up with their group? We know he doesn’t like Eggsy and the Kingsman, he decides to blow all of them up? Was that Charlie’s idea or Poppy’s idea? Is Kingsman more of a threat to them than any other independent intelligence agency? Charlie no longer lives a life of privilege and considers himself a pleb. He is still bitter about Eggsy beating him.

We have no idea what happened to Charlie between TSS to TGC. We have not been given a reason to invest in him either as a threat or a source of conflict. There’s no complexity to his character. He was an asshole that came back a bigger asshole.

If they wanted to bring back Charlie, wouldn’t it have been more interesting for him to come back as an ally? Who after VDay and losing his family and life as he knows it, decides to change his ways and upon meeting Eggsy and he actually asks for his help? He doesn’t know anywhere else to go but Kingsman. They could still have a car chase scene with an unknown enemy that attacks Eggsy, but Charlie helps Eggsy against the enemy and they have to work together to survive. Thus proving that Charlie has changed his ways.

BUT- PLOT TWIST - he’s a mole for Poppy to get inside Kingsman to take them out from within. And this is all part of their plan to destroy Kingsman. And then we have to see him struggle with his role as a double agent as he gets to know all the Kingsman better. They are accepting of him in a way he never accepted them when the roles were reversed. He was always just a competitive jerk. So he’s conflicted. And we want to know, well, will he turn out bad or good in the end? And of course, this is all off the top of my head. Just some examples of things that could have been done differently that would have made the movie more interesting (at least to me).

I’m going to be jumping around some and might go off on tangents. Sorry.

In TGC, I didn’t feel like the bad guy brought anything new or different to the table. The issue of a drug cartel taking over the world with hostages was too broad and general. For me, there was no real urgency. Other than blowing up Kingsman, there is no link between Kingsman and the Golden Circle.

Let’s say instead of Charlie, Poppy and the Golden Circle as the bad guys, well, we could still have something like the Golden Circle... but it’s an underground network of bad spies who want to take out all the good intelligence agencies. Like spy vs spy. Could be interesting. One of the problems I have is that the Golden Circle only blew up Kingsman? I’m assuming because Charlie had a beef with them? But what about all the other intelligence agencies around the world? I guess it would make sense if we knew Kingsman was a direct threat to TGC, but Kingsman didn’t even know they existed. My point is that TGC could have done everything they did, release the virus, hold the antidote hostage, without having to blow up Kingsman. Kingsman was not an obstacle that TGC had to get rid of. So for me, it didn’t make any sense. The only reason we have is that Charlie’s fragile ego couldn’t stand that he was rejected. Would the biggest drug cartel in the world take the risk of blowing up a whole agency over some dudes hurt feelings?

So what are the alternatives? Well, other than double agent Charlie. Let say we have a scenario where Charlie has a little sister who survived VDay. She was on a retreat to save endangered animals on a remote island far from civilization so she was not affected by the SIM card transmissions. She survived to find everything and everyone she loved gone. We’ll call her Kay. Kay was genuinely a good, kind, sweet person. But her entire family was killed and she was devastated losing them, particularly her brother. She was the one person who Charlie didn’t treat like an asshole. She loved her big brother and had a close relationship and when he and her family died, her entire life changed. So we learned that Charlie was actually not an asshole ALL of the time and that his soft spot was his little sister. (Eggsy could relate to this as he is protective of his half sister)

So let’s say, she wants revenge. She wants to destroy Kingsman and take down Eggsy, Merlin and Roxy and everything they love. Just like they did to her. There doesn’t even need to be a Poppy. No drug cartel. Let’s bring the threat closer to home. In the first movie it was a “save the world” type situation. How about doing something different for this one? This time, Kingsman is being directly threatened.

Let say a mysterious group of people took Kay in the aftermath of V day, when no one else would. BUT she discovers they are actually an international syndicate- like Kingsman- but for bad instead of good. They can be called the Golden Circle.

Let’s say she’s super smart, both tech wise and with weaponry and she has mad skills that the syndicate can use. So she joins forces with them with an ulterior motive. Even though she doesn’t agree with everything they do, it’s a way for her to have the resources to get her revenge against Kingsman.

Let’s say this group wants to take out all the international intelligence agencies, since they are a threat, starting with Kingsman. The Statesman are next. Kay plans on only staying for Kingsman, so she can take them out and specifically Merlin, Eggs and Roxy. Then she plans on running away on her own. Because, as much as she wants her revenge, she isn’t essentially evil herself. She is just so angry and alone. She’s a complicated character, linked to Kingsman and the plot of the first movie through Charlie, but she presents new challenges. Unlike Charlie, whose issues just rehashed conflict from TSS.

Then there’s so many options from here. I’m just going to brainstorm so stick with me if you want.

Let say, the movie opens with Roxy and Eggsy both coming out of Kingsman, joking around and teasing each other after completing a dangerous mission and want to celebrate. Merlin is on the glasses comms, telling them to behave and not drink to much or get in trouble. They are about to get into the taxi to go get a drink but then Kay comes out holds gun on them with her underworld support. She knows who they are, calls them by both their code names and real names, but they have no idea who she is.

They try to identify her, but as there is no existing reference to her, their first scan comes up with nothing. So they don’t know who she is, they just know she is a threat and she has backup. The car chase and everything can be basically the same, but with Merlin’s help on the comms, they are able to get away.

So the main conflict is that Eggsy, Roxy and Merlin need to find out who is threatening them (the TGC evil syndicate) and at the same time find out specifically who Kay is. They don’t know she is Charlie’s sister yet. They find out later in the debrief where they compare her facial structure to their database and Charlie comes up as a match.

So how does Harry Hart come back into the picture? I’ll get to that soon.

Well, Kay/syndicate blow up all the Kingsman agents, but Roxy, Merlin and Eggsy survive. But now they have no resources. They can do the same doomsday scenario as in the movie, but Roxy is still alive. (It was horrible how she was killed off for no reason. She deserved better.)

All three survive the explosion. Maybe even because they were doing something fun together, or bickering over something silly, showing how close they’ve become. This way we can strengthen the relationships between the three of them before anything happens to any of them. I thought the “Roxy as my Best friend and she was killed” plot device was forced. She had a couple lines helping Eggsy with Tilde, and he calls her his best friend and agent. (At this point I’m not even sure if we need Tilde in the picture.) And then Roxy gets blown up. Sucks.

I’d forget about the whole Tilde relationship angle and focus on the friendship between Eggsy and Roxy instead. (Don’t worry, they’ll stay friends. They don’t get into a relationship together.)

There are so many other ways to show they are best friends and agents who rely on each other, so if or when one of them dies, it’s much more meaningful. We feel her loss as Eggsy or Merlin would. Her death in THC was essentially meaningless.

BACK TO THE FILM:

Kingsman HQ and the shop have been blown up. Roxy, Merlin and Eggsy are devastated but Merlin pulls himself together and takes charge. He says that they need to rely on their training. That they’ve lost people they love before and yet they keep on going, to honor their memory, because that’s what a Kingsman does. (Reference to Harry)

They go to the winery, proceed to get drunk, which would be funny with the three of them together, when they discover the Statesman logo on the whiskey bottle and go to Kentucky for help. All that is fine. It can be the same as the movie.

The three of them go to Statesman. They try to break in and are overtaken and tied up by Statesman agents.

This can be all the same as the movie as well. The three of them are tied up and Tequila is questioning them. He’s also flirting with Roxy at the same time because he’s a southern boy. But he still doesn’t believe them.

BUT WAIT!....(READ MY EXCERPT OF FAN FIC ON HOW HARRY RETURNED HERE: https://fuckyeahharryhart.tumblr.com/post/635251512219729920/kingsman-the-golden-circle

KEEP READING HERE IF YOU WANT THE SHORT VERSION:

Ok. I had a real issue with how they brought Harry back. Don’t get me wrong, I am sooo, sooo grateful that they brought him back at all, but the character that he became from the amnesia, for me, was not Harry at all, not even a young Harry.

I know some people liked the soft, timid, shy Harry. And that’s sweet. But he was the antithesis of the Harry I grew to love from the first movie. During the whole TGC movie, I didn’t really get the same energy and presence as the first Harry Hart. (Ok, I know this is kind of Eggsy’s movie, anyway.)

Sure, we got background on what Harry was like when younger. He wanted to become a lepidopterist. He had the choice of being one or joining the army. He joined the army and then Kingsman. This doesn’t really add anything to the film or to Harry personally. I don’t feel like I know him better. I know facts about him. I want to know what was behind the choices he made.

I want to know, why did Harry chose the Army? Did something significant happen that led him down that road? From the film, we know he missed his mother, but doesn’t mention a father. What happened to his father?

Maybe his father was military, and was away for most of his life. His father never understood Harry’s butterfly fascination and hoped that he would follow in his footsteps and become a military man, but loved him and supported him none the less. Let’s say his father was killed in action and that is why Harry joined the army and gave up Lepidoptery. For the memory of his father. So when he mentions to Merlin that he wants to see “Mother” that is why there is no mention of the father, because he already died.

And then we find out that he relates to Eggsy so much because “what’!?!” Harry lost his own father the same way as Eggsy did! In action, on a mission. BUT, Harry feels even more guilt because HE was the reason Eggsy’s father was killed. It’s his fault that Eggsy had to go through the same loss that he did. So he knows exactly how Eggsy felt. He feels extra responsibility for him and wants to be his mentor and be the father figure neither of them had growing up! Now we understand Harry sooooo much more, what motivates him to be the person he is and the relationship that he has with Eggsy is that much more meaningful.

(WHAT!?! I would soooo watch this movie.)

So, at least it would be helpful to know what happened to Harry’s father. It would give us more motivation on why Harry is the way he is. Our dear Harry Hart. You are so quiet and so brave that we forget you are suffering. Our hearts go out to him. We imagine Harry as a young man who lost his father and joined the army to be close to him and honor him. Sigh.

How much weight has Harry Hart carried with him? Never complaining, never using it as an excuse. We only know through his actions that he wants to make up for his past mistakes. We love him that much more. Underneath his stoic polished exterior lies a young man who lost his father. But he also has to carry the guilt of being the reason another boy lost his own father, as Eggsy’s father was saving Harry’s life, while sacrificing his own.

So back to the movie. Amnesia Harry, to me, was not Harry Hart. I can’t believe this soft, timid man became the brave, sophisticated super spy that he is now. I think it would have been more effective for amnesia Harry to still have qualities of spy Harry, but the amnesia makes him forget KINGSMAN. And it’s painful for Eggsy Roxy and Merlin, because at first, he seems like the Harry they know and love. But to Harry, they are complete strangers. Imagine if your significant other lost the memory of you, but other than that they were still the same person. You had a whole life of memories that you shared. They wouldn’t know that you shared them. What would it be like to be so close to someone, yet at the same time, just out of reach? Harsh.

STAY WITH ME HERE. This is what I would have imagined for the return of Harry Hart. It would be fairly similar to what happened, but with some crucial differences. AGAIN: ONLY IF YOU WANT, REFER TO:

:https://fuckyeahharryhart.tumblr.com/post/635251512219729920/kingsman-the-golden-circle

Let’s go back to the scene where Merlin, Eggsy AND Roxy are tied in chairs getting grilled by Tequila, who is actually flirting with Roxy because that’s who Teauila is. And Roxy is having none of it because that is who she is. This dynamic could be pretty funny, with Eggsy teasing Roxy (but that’s for later).

So all three of them are saying they were only following clues from their doomsday scenario protocol. They lost everything and all they have left is their honor. They are still getting threatened by Tequila. They aren’t budging because that’s the truth, they aren’t lying about the circumstances that brought them to Statesman.

Teauila has to change this up a bit. And what does he do? Threatens to bring in their finest interrogator. Says how this agent is skilled in ways they can’t even imagine. He is not someone that they want to fuck around with. Nothing gets past him. If you don’t tell him what he wants to hear, don’t worry, he will make you. He is definitely someone who they don’t want on their bad side. They still don’t have anything else to say.

Tequila calls in the agent. And who is that agent?

IN WALKS HARRY HART, in all of his secret spy glory!!!! (OMG I WOULD DIE) He’s impeccable in his familiar suit, hair immaculately in place, posture perfect. The only real change are the shaded eyeglasses to protect the eye he lost and the Statesman issue gun he carries. Everything else is exactly the same from his pocket square to his cuff links.

Roxy, Merlin, and Eggsy are mindfucked. They can’t believe this is THEIR Harry Hart. But Harry doesn’t recognise them, doesn’t remember them AT ALL, as he has lost all of his memory of Kingsman. BUT, he has retained all of his skill and personality as an agent and individual. The only thing different is that he doesn’t remember them.

They are confused and overjoyed at the same time. They don’t even know how to react when they try to get Harry to remember them and he doesn’t. We get all the delicious visuals of Kingsman Harry, but are faced with the fact that he actually doesn’t remember Kingsman at all.

Statesman Harry continues to interrogate them as if they are the unknown quantity and possible enemy, because to him, that’s exactly what they are. They are speechless at this point and don’t know what to do, or how to react, or how to get Harry to believe them. They don’t know how to prove they are who they say they are. They don’t know how to prove that Harry knows them, and that they know Harry.

Harry, not for wasting time, unholsters his revolver and points it at Eggy’s head. Are they ready to talk now? They yell for him to stop, not to shoot, to let them explain. Harry starts to count down from three, and just as he gets to one, Ginger Ale comes in and throws Harry the umbrella. Their story checks out. Harry inspects the umbrella, sees the statesman’s logo and pauses. He looks over the umbrella turns it over, twirls it in his hands almost in a familiar way. Does it help him remember Kingsman and his friends? It looks like it might. He contemplates the umbrella for a moment, but then he says “not good enough” and aims his revolver at Eggsy and switches off the safety.

Eggsy and the others are beyond panic, when Eggsy throws a Hail Mary. He tried to look at Harrys right hand, but the gun is blocking his view and he doesn’t know for sure, but fuck it, takes the risk and yells to him that Harry wears a signet ring on his right pinkie finger. That gentleman are traditionally supposed to wear it on the left hand. But Harry wears it on his right hand because his right hand is dominant.

THIS makes Harry pause and slowly puts down his gun. Because he does wear a pinkie ring on his right hand. He was wearing it when he was shot and wanted to keep wearing it. He doesn’t know why, just that it feels right to him. He asks Eggsy, “how do you know that?”

“Eggsy says, “Because I’m wearing one too.”

(WHAAAT JUST HAPPENED!!!!????)

Statesman Harry holsters his weapon. He says, “It seems as if we have a lot to discuss.”

Ok, so that’s just an idea I came up with while writing this. Let’s see if I can continue.

Because TGC needed much, much more of the Harry Hart we know and love.

This cuts to the scene where they are in the Statesman HQ dining room. Harry is also there but sits on the Statesman side. Ginger and Tequila are there as well.

Merlin, Roxy and Eggsy sit opposite the Statesman.

They meet Champagne/Champs - who wants to know what’s going on.

Cut to when Ginger explains how Statesman got readings of low frequency waves from Valentine’s test in Kentucky. All of this can remain the same. Ginger Ale and Tequila save him by using the alpha gel, they help him recover. But when he does, he can’t remember anything from his past. He knows his name, he has the same personality and all the same skills, which they discover when he wakes up.

When he wakes up for the first time, Ginger ale and Tequila are there. Harry is slowly coming to. We don’t know how he is though yet. As he is coming into consciousness, his agent reflexes kick in. He scans the room, finds the exit, determines any possible threats and locates the nearest weapon. In a flash, Harry sits up, grabs Tequila’s gun and points it at him. Harry asks them who they are and what is he doing there.

They look at each other and say that they have a lot to talk about.

I’m just gonna go with this and see how it plays out....

Statesman knew he was intelligence from his eye glasses, but they didn’t know whose. And Harry couldn’t tell them anything. They knew he was possibly British as he spoke the Queen’s English. But he could still be from a number of other places as well.

Obviously, international intelligence agencies are not going to be listed on the internet, but while Harry was recovering, they put out feelers for possible missing persons that matched his description, particularly in Europe and Great Britain, and then broadened their search to the commonwealth countries.

They scanned news on anything surrounding the Kentucky event, who was involved, but they only found information on Valentine and his cohorts. They even kept their ears open on the secret spy wire, to see if an agency was looking for an operative, or had an agent who had gone rogue, or had one go dark. They didn’t have any luck. It’s not like they could put out an “if missing an agent, please call” flyer.

But as Harry got better, they found out the extent of his abilities. They were far greater than Statesman expected.

—-here can be a montage of him going through his skills, slowly getting better and stronger until he is at full capacity.- plus it would be really hot and sexy to see Harry Hart’s repertoire of skills. (I heard that Colin Firth is pretty good at archery, too.)

For some reason he can’t explain, he insisted on only wearing suits, styled exactly the same as the one he was found in, shirt, tie, cuff links and his pinkie ring. The only thing he would carry is the Statesman issue pistol and the occasional custom weapon or flask. Or maybe a fedora.

He was grateful to Statesman for saving his life. We find out that Harry started working for Statesman, actually becoming close to them like he was with Roxy, Merlin, and Eggsy and becoming an integral part of their organisation.

His English mannerisms often pop up, much to the amusement of Statesman. They respect him and find him endearing at the same time. They still kept an eye out for someone matching his description gone missing, but without as much urgency since they liked having him around.

The others are overjoyed that he is alive, at the same time devastated that he doesn’t remember them. It’s like he’s almost there, but just out of reach.

(OMG, I NEED TO SEE THIS VERSION OF TGC.)

How does he get his memory back?

There are a number of ways. We could still do something similar to the puppy scenario, let’s say that Harry, for some reason he also can’t explain, wanted a cairn terrier. So he has one that follows him around Statesman HQ.

This scenario could play out similarly as the movie. As a last resort, Eggsy threatens to shoot his dog, triggering the memory of Harry when he was a trainee having to shoot Mr. Pickle.

OR let’s say at a certain pivotal moment, something happens where Eggsy is tied to train tracks just like in TSS, but this time, there is no false floor. Eggsy is in a life or death situation and as seconds tick by, it’s looking more like death. Eggsy is yelling at Harry to please cut the ropes, when Harry’s memory is triggered. The combination of the bright lights of the train, the roar as it barrels down the tracks, Eggsy screaming, fearing for his life...Harry starts to remember the same circumstance during Eggsy’s training when he was almost hit by a train.

While Eggsy is struggling, Harry’s memory is flashing back to all the significant moments in his life, like a seizure he can’t control. His father. Butterflies. Harry joining the army. Eggsy’s father sacrificing his life to save Harry’s. Meeting Eggsy, training him, being a father figure to him. Everything to the point when he is shot by Valentine. Harry is trying to process all of this when he hears Eggsy yelling to cut the ropes again and Harry comes to, just in time to save him.

As Eggsy recovers he notices something different about Harry. He stops and just waits, looking at him.

Out of the blue, Harry says “bloody well done” which is what he said to Eggsy when he passed the training. Harry pauses and then says with meaning “Eggsy” (not eggy as he’s been calling him)

“Hello Harry.” Eggsy says in return and goes up to hug him, which Harry returns. And he says Eggsy’s name again as memories return to him. Agent Galahad is back.

Eggsy finally had his chance to say I’m sorry to Harry and how much he meant to him and how devastated he was when he thought Harry had died. And how happy he was to find out he survived, and how devastated he was when Harry didn’t remember him. It doesn’t have to be all mushy and serious, it can just be simple and touching. Like Harry saying something like “It takes a lot more than a bullet to the head to kill Harry Hart.”

I had an issue with the dynamic between Harry and Eggsy on their first mission with Whiskey. Obviously having Harry back is the best thing in Eggsy’s life right now. What a gift to basically have him back from the dead. I personally would be extra considerate and caring of any lapses that he may be experiencing due to the gunshot. And knowing that he was still recovering (as depicted in the bar fight scene) I’d make a concerted effort to look out for his well being.

So when they are all trapped at the cabin in Italy and Harry out of the blue shoots Whiskey, my first reaction wouldn’t be “Harry you’re a fucking idiot! You’re out of control!” It was be “OMG, what’s wrong Harry? Why would you do that?” And make an effort to understand what Harry is going through. I know they’re in a life or death situation and they don’t have time to have a heart to heart. But if my best friend and mentor came back from the dead, like, days ago, I wouldn’t be calling him a fucking idiot. I first reaction would be worry and concern.

Back to my alternate scenario. This sets up a new conflict. The call of Kingsman is strong and wants to lure Harry back to Great Britain, with Eggsy and Merlin and Roxy, but he will be forever indebted to Statesman for saving his life, helping him find himself and giving him purpose and meaning within the Statesman family. He knows he will have to choose eventually, but at the moment, the pressing issue is the Golden Circle and to defeat them, the two agencies will have to work as one and who better to do lead them than Harry Hart. (I love Harry Hart so much)

What else is a possibility? Roxy is slowly won over by Agent Tequila’s charm, but she gets kidnapped by Kay and the Golden Circle. Now Agent Tequila and the others have to race to rescue Roxy before The Golden Circle blows up, because why? BECAUSE KINGSMAN HAD ALREADY SET UP EXPLOSIONS TO DESTROY THEM! So if Roxy dies in the blast, it’s basically because of Kingsman.

What else could Roxy’s story look like? Hmmm. Kay is the same age as Roxy. So despite each of their misgivings, they begin to relate to each other. Roxy is sorry about Kay’s loss and recognises that she isn’t an inherently bad person like the rest of Golden Circle. She’s just a sister, a daughter, a person like Roxy. She is just in pain and doesn’t know how to handle her grief. Kay realises that Roxy was just looking out for her friends and trying to do what’s right despite insurmountable odds. Without really realising it, they begin to bond. They really don’t want to hurt each other, but are afraid they are too far down the path of destruction and revenge to turn back.

Let’s throw in Whiskey, too. Because I don’t like how they utilised his character in TGC at all. First off, his reasoning behind wanting all the junkies to die was weak. Almost 22-23 years since the death of his wife and he was still willing to kill all the good people as well as the bad? He didn’t differentiate someone like Tequila, his fellow agent, from the meth heads that killed his wife?

I don’t think that an agent who has dedicated his life to save others would be that selfish as to want the deaths of all those people. So I’m going to throw that whole plot device in the can. Plus, the foreshadowing that Whiskey was a bad guy and that Harry was on to him and shot him was weak, of no fault of theirs, the story was bad.

Let’s say In this version, he is not a bad guy. Let’s say he’s a Statesman through and through. And he is very very protective of Statesman and is determined to protect it and the other agents at all costs, in a way he wasn’t able to protect his wife and unborn child.

As a result he is less welcoming to strangers and outsiders than the others. He has a long history of tradition within the Statesman family and wants to preserve that legacy. He is the one that was less than excited to have Harry join the agency. Whiskey was the one that continued to be suspicious, and at times could antagonise Harry, implying that no matter how good an agent he was, that he would never truly be a Statesman. That he would be an outsider. Which he now feels is justified because they discover Harry is actually a Kingsman. Whiskey avoids spending time with them, outside of the mission and continues to remain standoffish.

But slowly, as they all work together, the Kingsman agents especially being open and accepting and kind to their counter parts, Whiskey begins to slowly, begrudgingly come around. He begins to thaw and we realise what a cool guy whiskey really is, he is just ultra dedicated and loyal to Statesman and will do everything he can to protect and honor his agency. He gets to know everyone, realises that all of them have experienced their own personal loss and that their losses are what drives them to help others. And this common understanding of loss brings them together.

What if, instead of getting killed because he tried to double cross both Statesman and Kingsman, he ultimately shows his true self, when they are all trapped in the enemy HQ, by offering to stay behind, fight off bad guys, to give the others a chance to escape, including the Kingsman, at the risk of his own life.

Perhaps he asks Harry, Merlin and Eggsy to go and save Roxy and lead everyone out of danger. And to take care of Statesman, and Ginger and Tequila as Whiskey would and has his entire life, because they are ALL family now and families take care of each other.

(ALL THE FEELS. RIGHT HERE.)

What if Whiskey demands that they have to go and leave him behind to his own fate. That even if he gets overpowered, Whiskey won’t go down without a fight. They all do their agent handshake of brotherhood and leave him to fight the enemy. So Whiskey, instead of being put in the mincer, gets one last epic battle, fights harder than he ever has before because he wants to give the others a chance to survive. This is why Whiskey became a Statesman, to serve his fellow man, to protect his family. His whole life has led to this point.

The scene could be intercut with Whiskey battling the enemy, with the others making their way out of the enemy headquarters. Whiskey, the entire time fighting to keep the bad guys from following them. Let’s say that during Harry’s and Whiskeys handshake, Harry passes Whiskey his lighter grenade, as a message, agent to agent, never let the enemy capture you. If it gets to that point, use the grenade and take the bastards out with you.

The battle gets more and more hectic, Whiskey gets cornered. He’s out of options, save one. He triggers the grenade, but not before he says “this is for statesman”. Or something else along those lines that’s super cool and badass. We don’t see the blast, but it cuts to the others who hear the bomb go off and they know that Whiskey did as much as he could and even though they are running for their lives, they take a moment to acknowledge his sacrifice.

(OMG- I’m going to make myself cry.)

How much of a better end would that be for Whiskey? Such a better part for him to play rather than the secret bad guy plot twist at the end of TGC. In this new version, we get to see his compete character arch. We feel compassion for him, we root for him, and we mourn his loss. Ugh. I just hate how so many of the characters deaths got the short shift.

Or if it’s not whiskey, If Merlin still has to die, (which I don’t think he does) he could be the one that stays behind. But death would be more than accidentally stepping on a landmine. There would be more at stake, more on the line. More urgency. If both Whiskey and Merlin had to die, what if they had to detonate a bomb, but the bomb had a fail safe where to detonate the it, two people have to trigger it at the same time, and the likelihood of survival is slim. But they offer to stay behind, one man from each agency. There can still be an epic battle, but this time Merlin gets a chance to fight, too. And he fights alongside Whiskey for as long and as hard as they can until they have to detonate the bomb. Merlin gets his moment.

In TGC, Merlin didn’t even get half the chance to be a bad ass in his own Kingsman suit and glasses. It wasn’t fair to him. He should have had more of a chance to be a part of things in the end. Merlin deserved a much more meaningful send off. There were so many other ways to handle his death.... if he had to die at all.

Let’s say in my version he survived the blast, we don’t know, there’s a chance he did. And that gives us hope. We really want him to be in the third movie with Eggsy and Harry, the three of them have such a good dynamic.

I felt like Merlins death in TGC should have been much more impactful. It seemed like an afterthought. After he died, his name was only mentioned 4 times. Eggsy said his name when he killed Charlie, Harry said his name and Rest In Peace, when explaining the heroin injection to Poppy. Whiskey said his name about putting pieces of him and Harry into a bucket, and lastly, that releasing the antidote was in Merlin’s honor. But emotionally, it didn’t feel like they felt his loss at all. They nodded their goodbyes, and then went dead in the eyes before they went after poppy’s men. That was the extent of it.

Merlin wasn’t recognized at all after the whole poppy ordeal. Not at the meeting at Statesman or at Eggsy’s wedding. I know they were planning on having Merlin survive the blast and be there when Eggsy got married, just with prosthetic legs. And at the last minute decided not to. I know Merlin and Ginger ale were supposed to kind of be into each other. We got a little of that with them working together. But that relationship was cut from the final version. As a result, it felt abrupt. We didn’t get her reaction when Merlin died. Or get their reaction when they found out that Whiskey had double crossed them.

Back to Kay and Roxy...

Let’s say Kay is ordered to take out Roxy. Kay actually begins to feel bad, begins to doubt herself, but is determined to stick to her plan. She is supposed to shoot Roxy and then join the rest of the Golden Circle bad guys to get the others.

As she points her gun at Roxy, Kay says something along the lines of “I’m sorry that this actually IS personal and it’s something that she has to do. For her family. For herself.”

To Kay’s surprise, Roxy is calm, collected and replies in understanding. Roxy can imagine how she is feeling, because if she lost her family like Kay did. If Eggsy, Merlin and Harry died, her own family now, she would feel the same way as Kay does. And she doesn’t blame her for wanting revenge. Roxy says simply, do what you need to do, so you can get over their deaths. I accept my fate. And closes her eyes.

Kay, switches off the safety and takes two shots at Roxy. Roxy flinches, but realizes that she is not dead. Kay has actually shot off her handcuffs that were binding Roxy to her chair. Roxy takes a moment to be impressed with Kay’s sharp shooting skills.

Kay, feeling defeated and empty, tells Roxy to go. To hurry and find her friends and escape before the GC men return. Kay gives her the gun. Roxy is set to leave, but stops when she realizes that they will kill Kay when they realize that Kay didn’t kill Roxy, but instead set her free. She says so aloud to Kay.

Kay replies, “I know. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’d rather be with my family, anyway. Like you said, I accept my fate. Go. Now. Before it’s too late.”

Roxy hesitates before deciding. She asks Kay to come with her. That she truly doesn’t belong here. That she’s just lost and afraid. But that she doesn’t have to be alone.

Kay is taken aback at the offer and tells Roxy that Kay blew up Roxys headquarters and tried to kill them all and kidnapped her and was about to shoot her in the head. “I’m not the kind of person that you want to have around and I don’t think your friends will be to excited to see me again.”

Roxy says that it wasn’t really Kay, that it was TGC, that took advantage of her grief and skill. Kay is not a bad person. She’s just trying to deal with a bad set of circumstances, with bad company. Come with me. Instead.

Kay asks her how does she know that Kay is trustworthy. Roxy tosses her back the gun and says, I just do. Kay looks at the gun for a moment. Realizes she had nothing to lose, gives the gun back to Roxy and pulls a second one from behind her back. And tells Roxy “let’s go.”

Perhaps Kay can become a new agent to help fill all those they lost in the explosion. And Agent Tequila came to Kingsman to help as well AND because he likes Roxy.

So at the end of TGC, we have Harry, Eggsy, Roxy, and Merlin (he survived the blast. Excuse I wanted him to. RIP Agent Whiskey) and new agents Kay and Tequila. We have all of these characters for the 3rd instalment. How amazing would that be?

OK, NOW IM DONE. IF I WAS RICH I WOULD FUND THIS MOVIE JUST SO I COULD SEE IT. I’D PAY THEM (COLIN FIRTH) WHATEVER THEY WANTED SO THEY WOULD COME BACK (AND LOOK REALLY HOT AND SEXY IN A SUIT.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE FOR THE NEXT/FINAL INSTALMENT OF KINGSMAN?

Sent from my iPhone

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mediaeval-muse · 4 years ago

Text

Book Review

Confessions of the Fox. By Jordy Rosenberg. New York: One World, 2018.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, queer fiction

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Set in the eighteenth century London underworld, this bawdy, genre-bending novel reimagines the life of thief and jailbreaker Jack Sheppard to tell a profound story about gender, love, and liberation.

Jack Sheppard and Edgeworth Bess were the most notorious thieves, jailbreakers, and lovers of eighteenth-century London. Yet no one knows the true story; their confessions have never been found. Until now. Reeling from heartbreak, a scholar named Dr. Voth discovers a long-lost manuscript—a gender-defying exposé of Jack and Bess’s adventures. Is Confessions of the Fox an authentic autobiography or a hoax? As Dr. Voth is drawn deeper into Jack and Bess’s tale of underworld resistance and gender transformation, it becomes clear that their fates are intertwined—and only a miracle will save them all.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: sexual content (as in sex acts, not the mere presence of lgbt+ people), blood, graphic depiction of top surgery, violence, racism, gender dysphoria

Overview: I didn’t know what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but something about it just hit all the right angles for me. I adore historical fiction that not only aims to imitate the aesthetics of the period, but also focuses on underrepresented identities, such as queer, non-white, and working or poverty class people; thus, it was inevitable that I would find Confessions of the Fox would be so engrossing. I do understand that this book might not be for everyone, as Rosenberg plays with a lot of academic ideas that usually fall in the realm of theory, but personally, I loved that this book wasn’t just about trans identity. While gender and identity and queerness were at the heart of this book, Confessions was also about archives and policing and commodities and so much more - things that were related and engaged the more academic part of my brain, but somewhat complicated for casual reading. Nevertheless, it was ambitious and smartly-constructed, so I’m giving it a high rating, even if I have quibbles here and there.

Writing: As a former academic and lover of history, I very much enjoyed Rosenberg’s approach to genre, form, and writing. It would have been easy to simply write a story using modern aesthetic tastes, but Rosenberg goes out of his way to imitate the prose style of the 18th century. I loved the richness of the vocabulary and the complexity of the sentences, as well as the juxtaposition of the sacred and profane. It was refreshing to read such beautiful prose that the author clearly put a lot of love into, and if you want to be so immersed in a story that you feel like you’re reading a historical document, I think Rosenberg does a wonderful job.

I also really loved the way Rosenberg wrote about trans identity in the 18th century. There are passages, for example, where Jack’s attention wanders while being dead-named, where Jack expresses feelings of confusion or freedom when talking about his physical body, where he talks about the process of coming into being when he heard Bess use his name, etc. I thought these passages were the most beautifully written and impactful, and they stayed with me the most after I finished the book.

These 18th century “confessions” are accompanied by a number of footnotes, written by a character named Dr. Voth in the present day. In these passages, Rosenberg shifts his tone and style, thereby differentiating between past and present without having to constantly remind the reader that Jack and Bess’s story is told through something of a frame. I think the choice to have footnotes instead of chapters where Voth’s POV takes center stage was a good one - it more effectively created parallels between the 18th century story and Voth’s personal story, and reminded the reader that history (especially trans history) evolves as a result of a kind of archival work, collected in pieces by many different people. In that sense, form matched function, which I am always delighted to see in my novels.

That being said, I can’t say I enjoyed Voth’s voice all that much. This criticism is probably a personal preference rather than anything Rosenberg did wrong - I just think Voth’s voice felt a little too conversational, like he was talking to someone instead of writing.

Plot: Most of Rosenberg’s novel follows Jack Sheppard and Bess Khan as they discover Jack’s identity, evade arrest, and disrupt a horrifying commodity trade (so to speak). In my opinion, the plot points surrounding Jack’s personal journey were incredibly well-constructed; I felt that the evolution of Jack’s gender identity, the romance between Jack and Bess, and their evolution as criminals were all very compelling and touched on a number of engrossing themes, from gender to poverty to anti-capitalism. Granted, there were some areas where I think the pacing dragged, but part of me thinks this was due to the 18th century style and genre conventions, more than anything Rosenberg was doing wrong.

In Voth’s footnotes, we also get something of a personal story which includes Voth being coerced into working for an exploitative publishing company at the direction of his university administrator. As we go through the footnotes, Voth recounts conversations he had with these figures while also disclosing details about his failed relationships - with one ex in particular. While I did like the parallels that exist between the manuscript and Voth’s own life, there were some things that challenged my suspension of disbelief. For example, I would never expect an academic to record personal anecdotes and intimate confessions in footnotes for an academic project. Maybe that happens in academic circles outside mine, and I understand it needs to happen for plot reasons (just reading references to critical theory or secondary sources would be boring for most people), so this criticism is coming from a place of being too close to the setting surrounding the text, in a way.

I also think that there were some passages where sexual activity would be mentioned where it was not needed. I do understand, on some level, that sex and sexuality is an important topic in trans studies (and queer studies as a whole), and I don’t want to appear too prudish. However, I think random references to a character masturbating, even if they were making a point, were a bit egregious. I was especially put off by the story of a 15 year old masturbating (in the present-day footnotes), and though I understand the story was illustrating an academic concept and books should acknowledge that (many) teens do have sex drives, it was also a bit much for me, personally.

Characters: Jack, our primary protagonist, is interesting and complex not just because he struggles with his identity as a trans man, but also because he struggles with acting in ways that are not out of self-interest. Though he is a thief and thus acts in self-interest in understandable ways, he eventually uncovers an operation which involves the production of a drug-like substance (or something - that’s the best I can describe it). Bess demands that he destroy all samples so that the substance can’t be reproduced by others, but Jack wants to confiscate the samples for himself to make a huge profit. I liked that this conflict existed, not only because it showed Jack as having other challenges in his life other than his gender identity, but it also spurred character growth and emotional turmoil.

Bess Khan, a prostitute and Jack’s lover, was written in a way that respected sex work and provided commentary on race and policing. I really liked that she had a strong set of principles and desires that were larger than herself, and I liked that she was confident and forceful where Jack could be meek and unsure.

Other rogues were equally loveable and admirable. Jenny, another prostitute, was a nice example of women forming networks of support within the criminal underworld while also showing how white women (even prostitutes) are treated differently than non-white women. Aurie, a black queer man, was also a supportive friend to Jack who is frequently instrumental in his survival. There is also a wide variety of named and unnamed rogues who were non-white and/or queer in some way, providing a rich array of characters that dispels the assumption that 18th century England was homogenously white and straight.

Our main antagonist, Jonathan Wild, is a bit less interesting in that he’s mainly just corrupt. I personally didn’t care for the chapters from his perspective, though I do understand that he functions as an important, symbolic figure that embodies all the things Jack and Bess work against (capitalism, police corruption, etc.).

Voth, our modern day commentator, has his moments, but sometimes, I would waffle back and forth between finding him engaging and finding him pretentious. I understand that he is supposed to be flawed, and I sympathize with a lot of his plights - mainly the pressure from his university and the anxiety he suffers from. But also, I found his voice to be somewhat combative, and if the point was to make a complicated, likeable-sometimes-unlikeable-other-times character, then I think Rosenberg succeeded.

TL;DR: Confessions of the Fox is a beautiful debut novel that engages with trans identity and history, though it does so in a way that may be a bit too academic for some readers. But while it definitely demands much of your attention, Rosenberg ultimately delivers a rich, engrossing story that reaches beyond the historical and textual boundaries of the page and invites the reader to see themselves as part of a vast network that is constantly “making” and “becoming” itself.

#book reviews

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laughing-with-god · 5 years ago

Note

QQ has me shaking in my boots ✊🏻👏🏻 but I’ve had a lingering question for the last few days; if the rest of the BTS members were in QQ, what districts would they be from? Love your work 🥺❤️

oh my god, okay here me out; an alternative Quarter Quell Fic were all past victors must play again and all the bts members are victors who come to play the quell but they somehow all become yandere over Y/n.....Lemme know if that’s something ya’ll would like to read. Anyway, here ya go;

(Btw I’m gonna base these profiles on the crackhead idea I stated up above, except I’m not going to do Jungkook and Tae bc they’re already in my Quarter Quell Fic and their games are being played right now so I don’t feel right doing profiles for them...it’ll deadass confuse me.)

BTS as Victors (Hunger Games AU)

Kim Seokjin- District One (Luxury)

Jin originates from district one, most would say that he figuratively hit the birth lottery by being from this district.

The first district is essentially the crown jewel of the capitol, it’s by far the most favored. The main job of district one is to provide the capitol with all luxury items, so most people make their money by creating jewelry and makeup. (Both of which are in extremely high demand in the capitol, so 1 is by far the most economically flourishing district.)

Jin never had to suffer food outages or abuse by peacekeepers because of 1′s good status with the capitol. To further his prosperity, Jin’s father was actually the mayor of district one.

Which makes Jins’ reaping all the more scandalous.

There was a rumor that Jin’s father expressed sympathy towards the damaged and less favored districts (11 and 12).So when Jin’s name was reaped, people suspected that the system was rigged and Jin’s name was going to get called out either way. Because after all, how would the capitol keep a loud-mouth mayor in check? By putting his son in the games, of course.

No one volunteered in fear of interfering with the capitol’s plans and getting in trouble.

However Seokjin fancied himself an actor and practically skipped to the stage with a big grin on his face, announcing his name proudly and even stating that it would be an honor to compete on behalf of his district.

His strategy was to get on the good side of both the audience and the gamemakers. Unlike other tributes who sometimes couldn’t help the look of terror they had, Jin made sure to constantly look happy and would even compliment the gamemakers in his interview by saying things like, “This game is going to be the best one in years, I could already tell.” “I caught a glimpse at the makers during my assessment and let me tell you...they’re not playing around this year.”

Because of this Jin wasn’t the target of any foul play or natural disasters bc the makers held no ill will towards him, if anything a lot of them actually wanted him to win.

He earned himself many fans and thus sponsors, mainly due to his good looks and partly due to his surprisingly goofy nature.

Jin was always sure to keep his attitude light. He constantly made jokes and did impressions in the arena, showcasting his humor bc the last thing he needed was to be painted as the bad guy. His number one rule was to always keep his fans satisfied. That kept him alive.

He stuck to the career alliance; teaming up with his district counterpart, two and the girl from four. He stuck with them because he knew he would need the numbers and the supplies. But a bit more than halfway through the games, when the careers took down all the main threats, Jin zipped up all the tents that his sleeping allies were in, took a good amount of supplies and set the camp on fire; effectively killing the career pact.

For two days after that he wandered alone but was having trouble with basic survival skills. Unlike more than half the tributes, Jin grew up in a city with no true sense of nature. He was struggling.

That’s when he came across a boy from 11 and a girl from 7. They both were rather weak and Jin offered them protection in exchange that they let him stay in their hideout with them. But when 11 and 7 were under attack, Jin fled and let them be killed.

Jin eventually had to go against the last tribute standing; a girl from 6. She was also frail and only lasted that long because of her hiding skills. Jin overpowered her and threw her off a mountain. Thus, he became victor.

He still is to this day one of the most popular victors and a really good mentor (although he mainly just advocates for having allies, using them, then killing them before they can kill you.)

because of his good looks, he is often sold off to elite women and men for a night with a handsome victor. Jin has no choice, it’s the only way he was able to make the president forgive his father. (Think of Finnick Odair).

Choice of weapon; spear, betrayal (all his allies will eventually end up killed by him)

Arena

Min Yoongi- District Six (Transportation)

District Six is responsible for all methods of transportation the capitol has. The hovercrafts, the high-speed trains and advanced cargo ships are all products of 6.

Citizens from six are heavily oppressed by the peacekeepers. Although not as poor as 11 or 12, they are one of the more rebellious districts. It’s also the largest district and the most unstable, lots of the population suffer from a morphling addiction which is party responsible for the citizen’s disobedience.

Yoongi came from a lower middle class background, raised by a single working mom who fell victim to the morphling epidemic. Needless to say she was very absent from his life.

Life at six is so bleak, when Yoongi’s name was reaped his first thought was ‘well, at least I won’t die in this shit hole.’

He was very numb due to shock so he appeared very aloof when he went up to the stage; a total contrast to his counterpart who was bawling her eyes out.

He managed to keep this stoic act up for the entirety of his time in the capitol, his thought process was that he never wanted to give the capitol the satisfaction of seeing him break.

He mainly enjoyed all the food and luxuries the capitol had to offer, thinking that he had no chance of winning and might as well enjoy his last days.

It wasn’t until his interview where even the host forgot his name that he realized that he might have a secret weapon under his belt; no one knew who he was, he was forgettable, someone who other tributes overlooked and even underestimated.

He went to his mentor with this revelation and was told to go the ‘Joanna Mason route’.

Ie; play weak and stupid until there’s only a few tributes left, then release your inner crazy and kill them all before they ever even saw you coming.

Yoongi figured it was better than nothing and decided this as his strategy.

Yoongi had no help of sponsors or allies, all he had was himself. But that’s the way he wanted it.

He hid for more than half the game, his small stature making it easy for him to hide into small nooks and crannies. He survived mainly on small plants, insects and any rainfall he was able to get.

It wasn’t until he witnessed someone die near one of his hideouts that he allowed his murderous side to snap.

It was a fight between a girl from 5 and a boy from 9. The girl had knives while the boy had an ax, the girl managed to get him in the throat and he fell over dead. After the girl searched his pockets for supplies, she turned around to stalk off, unaware Yoongi was only yards away.

Yoongi silently got out of his hideout, took the ax and ran up behind her before chopping her head off.

There was only four tributes left and Yoongi hunted them all down, tired with how long this game was taking and desperate to get home.

he managed to kill them all, the tributes being caught off guard bc of his excellent hiding skills

He became one of the youngest victors of all time, he was only 14.

As a mentor, he’s actually pretty absent.

Yoongi doesn’t like to get too close to the tributes because it becomes too emotionally crushing to eventually witness them die.

His general advice for them is to lay low and never draw any attention towards you, the factor of surprise is the ultimate weapon for those with patience.

Yoongi has never been the same since the games, he isn’t proud of it but he’s also become dependent on morphling; it’s the only thing that keeps his nightmares and depression away. (Like Haymitch, except Haymitch was dependent on alcohol and Yoongi is dependent on drugs)

He despises the capitol even more now, hating the fact that they made him a murderer and he was forced to play into the very game he promised to never have a part of.

He lives with that guilt everyday and doesn’t think he’s any better than the ruthless career kids he sees every year

He’s quite belligerent too. He is almost never given mentor interviews or screentime because he’s blown up one too many times that the hosts know to avoid him. (Think Joanna Mason and the one catching fire scene where she flips shit on national tv).

Weapons; hiding, ax

Arena

Kim Namjoon- District Three (Technology)

District three has some of the smartest tributes, and Namjoon was no different.

District Three is responsible for all the high-end technology the capitol has; the people may not be as strong as two or as flashy as one, but their intellect alone runs the capitol.

Kids from three are good at creating functional tools, codes, wires, ect. But sadly, these traits don’t translate well into the games given the clear advantage towards physical superiority over intellectual superiority.

Namjoon was determined to show the capitol how far a smart kid can go.

Like most tributes, Namjoon went into a little bit of a shock when his name was reaped.

He walked up, void of any emotion and avoided any eye contact with the district representative or the female counterpart.

When he was escorted into the room to say his goodbyes to his family is when he finally broke.

But his mother made him promise to do anything to get back home, she didn’t care how dirty he had to get she just wanted her boy to live

This encouragement/promise was enough to motivate him to become the last one standing, he didn’t care how gory he would have to get.

He utilized his mentor heavily, talking their ear off and asking countless questions. Soaking up any information/advice he could get, knowing it could very well be the difference between life and death.

His mentor advised him to choose the Beetee Latier strategy, telling Namjoon that if he just got his hands on some tools and put his mind to it he could be the most dangerous tribute in that arena.

During his training days Namjoon spent all his time in the rope stations, net stations and hook stations, knowing that his future plans would require him to be good with these skills.

During his interview, he hinted to the audience that he was very smart. He was careful to not make it obvious enough to make him a target of the careers but enough to raise the interests of the sponsors.

His personal score was also good, making the act of getting sponsors a little bit easier.

When the game began, he ran off from the blood bath but not too far. He stayed close enough to watch who left and with what supplies. With this knowledge, he began to track the people who had the tools he would need to play out his plan.

He would track these people very slyly, waiting until their guard was down to swipe their supplies.

With these supplies he would build traps and set them up for tributes to unknowingly walk into. His favorites were bear traps, snatching nets and digging up 8 ft deep holes then covering them up with debri for tributes to stumble into.

He managed to kill a decent amount of tributes before killing off what was left of the career pact.

However, Namjoon wasn’t able to avoid hand-to-hand combat forever.

When it came to the end, it was between a male tribute from 5, a girl from 2 and Namjoon himself. Both tributes had weapons while Namjoon didn’t.

He fought with them and got stabbed and sliced a good amount, but even with his fatal blood loss and fading consciousness, his brilliant mind came up with a plan.

He staggered over to one of his traps, making the tributes think he was just trying to run away when the truth was he was trying to lure them to their deaths.

They took the bait, got strung up into a net before being electrocuted to death.

The last words Namjoon heard before he blacked out was the head gamemaker announcing him victor.

Namjoon is now one of the greatest mentors of all time. Whenever it’s his turn to overlook the tributes of his home district the chances of 3 winning goes up 50%

He is very good at strategy and has even helped the gamemakers create certain arenas for future games.

namjoon teaches his students the importance of staying calm and sticking to a plan. “When kids are scared, starving and fighting for their lives they’re very easy to pick off. Utilize that.”

Weapons; stalking, traps

Arena

Jung Hoseok- District Eight (Textiles)

Hoseok was a victim of the reaping gamble. (The process in which kids will enter their names in the reaping bowl more times than required in exchange for food)

Hoseok is the oldest of four children, his mother died with the birth of the youngest child and his dad died years later due to poor health via the unlawful work conditions in the factories. (District Eight is responsible for all the clothes the capitol has, this means the vast majority of citizens work in factories. Eight is also very oppressed so peacekeepers beat citizens and hand out punishments often.)

Hoseok dropped out of school in order to help provide for his brothers and sister. He is the only one working and he refuses to let the second to oldest child drop out of school to help him. He just wants his siblings to get their education so hopefully they can end up with manager positions at the factories and wouldn’t have to suffer the awful conditions/abuse average factory workers go through.

Hoseok is used to putting his name in more times than needed. Of course it means his panic is through the roof when reaping comes but when the names are called and he’s not one of them, he walks away with a relieved heart and bags full of food for his siblings.

Hoseok depends on that food, because it saves him up to three weeks of salary and he can use that money to get his siblings some new clothes that they had to wait all year for. Along with some small gifts in order to make up for the birthday’s Hoseok wasn’t able to afford.

Since this was his last year of being eligible for the reaping, Hoseok made sure to add his name more than usual, hoping to get more food so he could spread out the money for even longer.

So in a way, when his name was called, he wasn’t completely surprised.

But he was heartbroken, realizing that in his effort to provide for his siblings he may have robbed them of yet another caretaker.

When it was time to say goodbye, he tried his hardest to be strong and promised them he’d come back.

On the train ride over to the capitol he was completely inconsolable, unable to sleep at the prospect of his siblings having to watch him die on national tv.

He went through the motions of the first days at the capitol, but it wasn’t until the training days begun that he was approached.

it was a girl from 10 and she was only 13 years old. She asked him if he had an ally and if he would be interested in working with her. Hoseok was about to say no when he fell silent, the girl reminded him so much of his younger sister that he couldn’t help but want to protect her.

They made an alliance.

And it was working rather well. Turned out the girl from 10 was very handy and knew how to keep her and Hoseok alive. The arena was a freezing arctic and she skinned polar bears in order to keep her and Hoseok warm, later cooking the meat for them to eat.

Most tributes that year died via freezing to death, very little fighting was done.

Not the career pact though.

They found Hoseok and the girl from 10, holding him down and forcing him to watch as they tortured her.

Eventually she died but he would never forget her screams for help.

This was enough to make Hoseok snap.

So he did.

Hoseok became a monster, broke free and killed the pact. There was only three (two boys, one girl), he stabbed one in the throat, strangled the other and tracked the fleeing girl down before holding her head under the freezing water till she drowned.

Hoseok won.

In a way he’s glad because now him and his family live on victor’s row and no longer have to worry about their next meal.

But his sanity will never be the same....

He is the kindest mentor, mainly because he knows that the majority of them won’t be coming back so he’s sure to be very nice and always offers to look out for their family when they eventually die.

Arena

Park Jimin- District Four (Fishing)

Jimin volunteered for the games, an act that was surprising to everyone and anyone in four.

It’s not that Jimin wasn’t strong, it was just that he didn’t seem like the type to hurt people and he was mainly just known as a really sweet local fisher boy.

People wondered how such an angel could even think of volunteering, much less actually win the games...

(Rumors even spread that he must’ve been suicidal or in serious debt, why else would he volunteer?)

But he strutted up confidently and announced his name, holding a certain benevolence that made him seem self-assured in his own ability.

Jimin was already acting like he won the games before he even got to the capitol.

He never really showed any anxiety or distress, he talked to the escort and mentors very casually....as if they were all old friends.

He also was extremely close to his designers/stylists, he allowed himself to get spoiled by the pampering and new clothes/makeup. (This also could’ve been part of his strategy. Most tributes could care less about their team but by Jimin becoming close to them, they most likely were more motivated to get him the best clothes, jewelry, makeup and overall helped him get more fans.)

Needless to say he became popular very quickly, he was by far the most attractive tribute and his laid back/flirty personality was infectious. For the first time ever a tribute’s concept was sex appeal, something that was unheard of for tributes to do because of their young age.

During his interview when asked about his strategy, Jimin just shrugged cutely and said “I’m a very lucky person, I doubt this will be all that hard.”

he buttered up the careers very nicely, they all basically just saw him as eye candy with lots of sponsors, not an actual threat.

Little did anyone know, Jimin was actually playing a very intelligent game that requires lots of manipulation.

His main objective was to stick with the careers until more than half the tributes were gone, then he would turn the careers against each other.

It would start off really slow and deliberate; going to one career and saying “This isn’t any of my business, but I heard (blank) talking in their sleep about offing you.” Or going to another and saying, “Don’t you think it’s weird how (blank) is acting? Maybe they’re thinking about killing us and winning this thing for themselves.”

He creates chaos and distrust and watches as they slowly turn against each other.

Eventually the careers would begin to kill each other, the alliance crumbling all thanks to Jimin.

Jimin would wait until only him and another career remained. At this point the career would realize that it was Jimin who destroyed the alliance...but it would be too late.

It was a girl career and although she was strong, she was no match for Jimin who dragged her to the swamp and held her head under water until the cannon sounded.

He would then kill the remaining two tributes, a piece of cake since he only kept the careers around to off the bigger threats, only weak kids remained.

Wins the game and becomes one of the most popular victors of all time. (Although it’s still a mystery as to why he volunteered, a lingering question Jimin has always refused to answer.)

Because of him a new strategy in the games was born; The Jimin game (ie; get in an alliance, use the alliance for supplies/food/protection, then when all the big tributes are gone plant a seed of deception into the allies so they all turn against each other)

Also because of him tributes began selling a more sexier side of themselves. (Esp tributes from four bc Jimin mentors them into it so that they can get more sponsors)

Jimin also frequents the capitol often, being an A-list celebrity and receiving special treatment whenever he comes around. Unlike Yoongi, Jimin fully embraced his role and is always ready to give out interviews or guest on shows.

he also sells himself to elite capitol women, not because he was forced to but because he enjoys the sex and gifts that come with it (sugar baby)

Although there is one catch to sleeping with the infamous Park Jimin.....you have to tell him a secret worth his while.

What he’s planning to do with these secrets....no one knows.

Arena

#bts

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askfriskandcompany · 5 years ago

Note

Discord link please? I want to see the pokeymans.

Very well.

The AFAC Clubhouse Discord may be joined here ----> https://discord.gg/gHMEKbG

But I will also put my pokemon stuff here. My idea is to one day run a campaign set in the made-up region of Auland which is based on Australia. It would be run using Pokemon Tabletop Adventures. It will probably be some time before I am fully prepared to run this for real because A) There’s a lot of prep-work involved, B) I’m still running multiple other campaigns, and C) I’ve never actually used this system before and the one guy I know who has DMed with it says that there’s a steep learning curve so I’ve gotta do some serious research.

But in any case, here’s what I can show about the Auland Region and eventual campain, which I have dubbed Pokemon Opal.

Here are the initial ideas for the three main starters. They would of course be completely optional for the players, given the premise of the campaign.

The premise is this... The players’ characters all must be between the ages of 10 and 18, can be from any region, and all have been convicted of a crime worthy of being sent to juvi, but nothing as serious as murder (pokemon-murder counts too). Point is that they’re young and considered a delinquent for one reason or another. The court gave them two choices... Juvi, or Camp Eucalyptus, and they chose camp.

“But TQ! Just wait one gosh darned second!” I hear you say, “Isn’t that just the plot of Holes?” And I respond, Yes. Yes it absolutely is just the plot of Holes. But this version has Pokemon so it’s automatically superior in every way. Also I think you will find the story will likely diverge a lot from the plot of Holes after the first session.

Anyway, the point of the camp is to rehabilitate problem-children AND problem-pokemon at the same time by pairing them off and teaching them to care for one another. The local pokemon professor, one Henry Eucalyptus, runs the camp in part to help children and pokemon, but also as a way to research the metaphysical bonds between humans and pokemon and how they form. Generally, Professor Eucalyptus has an antagonistic relationship with his charges, and despite the fact that he genuinely wants to help them become better people and pokemon, he is prone to loosing his cool.

Also, he’s just... kind of a dweeb. I mean look at him. He absolutely would sit backwards in a chair and tell you that drugs aren’t cool and friendship is awesome. It’s really no wonder these delinquent kids can’t stand him.

Anyway, the region has many kangaroo-like pokemon. Here’s two. They’re fighting types of course.

And here’s a grass type kangaroo fella. It comes in three variant forms depending on the area they’re caught in.

Geddit? Cause? Pademelons are a kind of kangaroo? And? Mellon? Padding? They’re probably gonna be tanky fellas.

They probably smell nice too.

Anyway I’m not totally done with the starters and their evolutions, but I HAVE decided that they all become part dragon cause fuck you I like dragons. Designs are subject to change.

And the Kelphie line is also part dragon cause they’re based on Kirin and also Leafy Sea Dragons.

The Stubbard line isn’t done yet but I imagine he will only become more of an absolute unit.

Finally we have another NPC, Freida. She serves partly as the resident badass for the players to strive to become as cool as, but also a window into the issues of the Old Aulanders. You see, this region has a population of native humans with their own culture separate from the culture of those who arrived later, dubbed New Aulanders. New Aulanders are descended from mostly galarian colonists several hundreds of years ago, whereas Old Aulander culture dates back to like the dawn of humanity. There is a complex and not entirely friendly relationship between the two groups. Many Old Aulanders have been pressured to conform to the ways of the New Aulanders, and even when they do, they are still too often regarded as savages in need of enlightenment.

In Old Aulander culture, a person forms a unique bond with one pokemon that lasts for their entire lives. This pokemon becomes soulbonded to them, forging an empathic and telepathic connection between the two. To many of Old Aulanders, the idea of keeping pokemon in pokeballs is insulting and barbaric, thus they reject it and simply keep their single partner pokemon out in the open at all times. A great emphasis is given to treating the bond as an equal partnership and never making the mistake of believing you are greater than your pokemon partner. The pokemon doesn’t need a person to survive, but a person does often need their pokemon, and thus you’d better be grateful to them.

Freida, however, DOES use pokeballs, and trains multiple pokemon aside from her soulbonded talonflame, Flint. For this reason, she was rejected by many of her own people.

Right now she’s working with Professor Eucalyptus on... something. She won’t say what. And also she occasionally arrives at camp to teach the campers about battling and the proper care of pokemon.

Aaaaaand other than that? Still working on it.

-TQ

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sierraraeck · 4 years ago

Text

How to Make Friends (Pt.1)

Spencer x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Spencer’s had a problem with Aundreya since the start. How is she going to earn his respect? Story four.

Category: Some angst, some fluff.

Warnings: Cussing. Quick mention of normal CM stuff and the quick retelling of two rough childhoods. Mentions of bullying.

Word Count: 5.3k

So I’d been going about this all wrong. The whole time that I’d observed the FBI from the outside, they all seemed to be strictly business. I knew they cared about each other but I never expected them to be family. I was going to have to start slowly nudging my way in if I ever wanted to earn respect and do what I was hired to do. I had to stop thinking about this like a co-worker situation and had to start thinking about it like a client situation.

I had good social skills, I just hadn’t been using them correctly thus far. Whenever I needed to talk to someone that was vital for my survival, or the survival of my ring or gang, I could always be very charming. Usually, I would take them to a high end restaurant and we would talk things over. That’s what I decided I needed to do with each member of the team. They were my clients, and I was going to sell them Aundreya Chambers.

The first person I decided to take to dinner was Aaron. He was the nicest to me, by force or by choice I didn’t know, but either way, he’d be the most inclined to accept my offer. Plus, if it was okay for the Unit Chief to go to dinner with me, hopefully it would show that it was okay for the rest of the team to go to dinner with me. The night with him went well. We talked about work of course, but I also got to know about his family. He already knew what happened to mine, so he didn’t ask about it. That’s probably another reason I picked him first. I knew I wouldn’t have to answer as many questions.

Next I asked Emily. She was the first to voluntarily share a personal story with me about her tattoo, and I figured she’d be the next I could get to accept. She was also a big personality on the team so getting to know her would only be helpful. Emily was a lot of fun to go out with. She ordered wine for us, something Aaron did not do, and we talked until the restaurant closed at 11. I learned about her childhood, she taught me some French, and I heard all about her new cat, Sergio. She didn’t tell me about her time with Interpol (a fact I’d learned when I was privately investigating each member), which I knew she wouldn’t, but it was still interesting hearing about everything else she’d done. She asked me about my childhood so I told her and got the same sappy reaction I got from everyone. As much as I hated being pitied, I needed the team to soften their view of me. My childhood story was the most efficient way to do that.

After that, I asked Penelope, then David, then Jennifer. That’s when the easy part ended.

By the time I got to Derek, he already knew I was going to ask. Apparently, the rest of the team had already filled him in. I was just curious to see how much they told him. He clearly wasn’t ashamed to let on that he’d heard a lot, because he started asking me deeper questions, skipping over the surface level talk. I didn’t mind. Why repeat the same conversation I’d already had four times? For the first hour, he didn’t have any reaction towards what I told him, but as my backstory kept going, I could tell that he was softening up, just like everyone else. However, I saw something different in his eyes that I hadn’t in the others’. He was relating to me. He finally let me ask him questions, and I learned about his father’s death, how it was living with three girls, and how he worked hard to move up the ranks in Chicago PD to eventually get to the FBI. He didn’t neglect to remind me how much of a pain in his ass I was though, running around as The Figure. I joked that I made him a better investigator and he finally cracked a smile.

So that left one more person to win over. Doctor Spencer Reid. I was leaving the best, and the hardest, for last.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

I was sitting with Derek and Emily while I waited for Spencer to show up.

“So is it finally pretty boy’s turn to have to suffer through dinner with you?” Morgan teased.

“Oh come on. You know you enjoyed my company,” I said to him with a wink. Ever since getting to know one another better, Morgan was more inclined to tease me like he had when we first met.

“Or maybe you just aren’t as good at profiling as you think,” Derek replied.

“Oh, there he is,” Emily said before I could respond. I watched Spencer casually walk into the bullpen, then pick up the pace when he saw me watching. And those goddamn back muscles were twitching again.

Look, I understand that I make people uncomfortable. Some I make really uncomfortable. And I know that Reid is kind of awkward around a lot of people, but come on. After five weeks of me constantly being around, he still could barely stand to be in the same room as me. What was going on?

He rushed right past us to his own desk, not even stopping to say hi to Derek or Emily.

“Woah, woah woah. What’s going on, kid? Where’s the fire?” Morgan said, brow furrowed. I gave Emily a knowing look.

“Nothing. No fire,” Reid said, setting his bag down, then quickly moving toward the pot of coffee across the room from us.

Derek turned to look at me. “You sure you want to take him out?”

“We’ll see. First I gotta keep him in my vicinity long enough so I can actually ask him,” I retorted.

“What? Three seconds isn’t long enough to ask him to dinner?” Morgan said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him and sighed.

“What is it?” Prentiss asked.

I laughed. “I’ve been in a gang, an underground ring, drugged, hunted by the police, trapped by the FBI, and sent to prison. But of all things, what’s really going to stop me in my tracks … is an angry genius?”

Morgan laughed with me. “He can be pretty feisty.”

“But hey. You have made it all the way to the FBI, far enough so that you can even consider that a problem of yours,” Prentiss pointed out. I nodded along as she spoke, “And you're still alive.”

“That’s true,” I agreed. “I mean, it only cost me four ER visits, three ribs, two bullets, and a knife. Well, and now an angry genius.” Both of them whipped their heads toward me, shock taking over their face. I wish I could have captured their priceless reactions on tape.

“W-Wh-What?” Derek said through a confused laugh. Emily just stared at me open mouthed.

“But you’re right,” I casually continued, “being alive is important.”

“Guys we have a case,” Hotch strode into the room, holding up a case file. Morgan and Prentiss were still just staring at me. I tilted one side of my mouth up and shrugged at them, leaving our spot to head to the briefing room.

“You can’t just leave us hanging like that?” Derek called after me.

I turned around while walking so I could face them, putting my hands up in surrender. I tried to sound as innocent as possible. “We have a case.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

The case was standard, you know, just your usual headless bodies in a lake. The unsub was quickly devolving, so it wouldn’t be long until he made a mistake and we could catch him. I was getting the silent treatment from Reid, as always. On day two, him and Jareau went on air to alert people in the area.

The very next day, we had an odd visitor come into the precinct. And by ‘we’ I mean ‘Reid’. She was about average height, blonde, probably five years Spencer’s senior, and enthusiastic. Too enthusiastic for a person in a precinct.

She walked right up to him and started talking to him. I couldn’t really hear what they were talking about, and I couldn’t see her face because Spencer’s back was shielding it. Across the room, I saw JJ look over at them, but then quickly dismiss it. I was about to do the same when a familiar sight caught my eye. Spencer’s back was twitching.

He had a variety of tells of discomfort, but when he wanted to, he could keep himself completely composed. Except for his back muscles. They had become the number one thing I looked for every time I saw him, because every single time, they told me he was uncomfortable.

The longer he talked to this woman, the worse the twitching became. I was initially going to just leave it alone and let him figure it out, but my curiosity got the best of me. Who was she and why was he so uneasy?

I decided I’d pull one of the oldest tricks in the book, and hoped he’d pick up on it.

I approached the two of them, placing my left hand on Spencer’s right shoulder blade, slowly moving it up his back to rest on his shoulder. I knew he had a germ thing, so I didn’t want to get too cozy. I interlaced my fingers so it looked like I was leaning on him. I could feel the twitching beneath my fingertips, but he didn’t flinch or faulter at my sudden presence. I peered up at him through my eyelashes. “Hey,” I tried to sound as seductive as possible. “Who’s this?”

He cleared his throat. “Oh, uh, this is-”

“I’m Kristy,” Kristy said, holding her hand out to me. I ignored it and instead looked her over.

“I wasn’t asking you, sweetie,” I said. She opened her mouth and let out a noise of offense. She practically had the words ‘shallow bitch’ written on her forehead. I turned my attention back to Spencer.

“She and I went to CalTech together,” his voice was dry and he swallowed, like he was in desperate need of water. I hadn’t gotten the whole story, but I knew that he was relentlessly bullied in high school, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it continued on in college. If I had to guess, this girl fell into that category.

“Oh really?” I asked. I turned toward her again and she nodded at me eagerly. The level of fake radiating off of her definitely equalled ‘mean girl’, which to me meant she deserved to taste some of her own medicine. I aimed to be as demeaning as possible. “So, Kathy-”

“Actually, my name is Kristy.”

“Whatever,” I said, fluttering my eyelashes. I could already tell I was getting under her skin. “What brings you in?”

“Well, I work for a magazine, The Triplehorn Tribune, you’ve probably heard of it-”

“Nope,” I interrupted. It took all of my willpower to not roll my eyes.

“Anyways,” she said slowly, about to continue on.

“Anyway,” I corrected. She looked at me confused. “You meant to say ‘anyway’. ‘Anyways’ isn’t a word and is grammatically incorrect.” Out of my peripheral, I saw Spencer quickly press his lips together, fighting a smile. I’d just pulled his signature move. At this point, JJ had looked back to see what was going on, and had nudged Prentiss to pay attention. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of the team was watching.

Meanwhile, Kristy-bitch was starting to fume. She released an annoyed breath through her teeth. “Anyway, I’m here because we want to do a story on what it’s like to be in the FBI. I saw Spencer on the tv yesterday and figured he’d be the perfect person to interview.”

“Oh, so you only want to talk to him now that he’s been on tv?” I asked.

“What? No! It’s not like that-”

“Then what is it like?” I asked. When she didn’t respond quickly enough for my liking, I decided I’d answer for her. “See, I think that you’re only here for you. I think that you got out of college and got a crappy job working for a crappy magazine. You want to be recognized and appreciated which means you need an interesting article. This serial killer thing would be big, but what would be even bigger would be interviewing one of the top profilers in the top unit of the FBI about the serial killer, who has also been on tv for press conferences. Lucky for you, this top profiler just so happens to be the easily manipulated kid you bullied in college, so you think that you can just show up here out of nowhere and request he give you the big break you supposedly deserve. How’m I doing so far?”

Her mouth dropped in unspoken shock. She was floundering and I was more than happy to let her. Behind her I saw the team and at least half of the precinct watching. I hadn’t noticed that Reid’s back stopped twitching for a while until it started back up again at the increased attention. I gently squeezed his shoulder, trying to help him calm back down. Kristy finally regained her ground.

“What are you, his possessive girlfriend?” she spat, incredulous.

“Something like that,” I said. I could barely get the words out before I was left speechless by the arm that wrapped around my waist. His hand landed just above my hip and subconsciously brought us closer together. I was surprised, even more so at the slight swimming in my head, but I forced myself to keep my wits about me. So he did figure out what I was going for. I smirked at her.

“Well why don’t you let Spencer speak for himself,” Kristy hissed at me.

“Why don’t you show Doctor Reid the respect you neglected to give him years ago,” I returned, just as fiery. I felt Spencer’s shoulders straighten just slightly at my comment. I removed my hands from his shoulder and reluctantly moved my body out of his grasp so that I could step forward and look down at her.

“Look, Cassy-”

“Kristy.”

“Whatever. You clearly are one of the bitches that thought it’d be funny to pick on the young kid in your class. You didn’t accept him for who he was then, so you sure as hell don’t deserve him for who he is now. I think you should go.” I stared her down, and I have to admit, girl’s got balls to continue to stand her ground.

“I’m only asking for a simple favor-” she started.

I took another step forward, cutting her off. “Back off, he doesn’t owe you anything!”

She took a step back, clearly surprised by my sudden change in volume. “You need to control your girlfriend! She’s a psycho!” She gave Reid a quick glance before marching toward the door.

“That’s what makes me good at catching them, Misty!” I called after her.

“My name is Kristy!” she yelled as she stamped out the door like a toddler. It made her look like the pathetic, insecure fool she was.

Once the door shut behind her, I couldn’t help but start laughing. I turned to look at Spencer who was still in shock. I scanned the room and saw that the entire precinct had stopped what they were doing to observe the scene that I helped create. I made eye contact with the rest of the team, all of whom were gaping at me. I stopped laughing.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, turning back to Spencer. I was starting to worry that I’d misread the whole situation and just caused something to go horribly wrong. “I hope you don’t mind that I did that. I could just tell that she was making you uncomfortable and I figured that I could-” I was cut off mid-sentence. Spencer had suddenly erupted in laughter, which triggered an entire laughing fit to wash over the whole precinct. Even Aaron was laughing, which never happened. I let the joyful feeling I’d felt moments ago fall back into my grasp.

“I absolutely didn’t mind you stepping in. You have nothing to apologize for,” he said to me with a smile. The first one I’d ever received from him. It was contagious and I couldn’t help but return it.

“Thank god, I was starting to worry. I’m glad you picked up on what I was putting down,” I stated.

“Oh, yeah. The fake girlfriend trick, one of the oldest in the book.”

“It was the best one I could think of on short notice,” I joked.

“How could you tell he was feeling uncomfortable?” Jennifer asked, approaching the two of us. The rest of the precinct had gone back to what they were doing, but the team’s attention was still on us.

“Yeah, I looked over at them and all I saw was the normal level of awkward,” Derek stated. Spencer glared at him.

“That’s because you were looking at him from the front,” I said, raising my eyebrows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Reid asked, his voice raising an octave.

“It just means that I’ve gotten very accustomed to your tells of discomfort, from all angles.” The mood of the group shifted at my reminder of the reality that Reid still had a very high level of dislike for me.

“Sure, but that still doesn’t make sense. Reid does a great job composing himself, but I think we all know him well enough to detect if he’s uncomfortable,” JJ pressed. I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing how to respond.

“Okay, let’s refocus,” Hotch said to us with a serious nod. I could tell when I made eye contact with him that I was in trouble. “Aundreya, that was inappropriate.”

“I know. That was well deserved, though,” I pointed out, unapologetic.

Aaron toyed with a half smile and let out a sigh. “Let’s just get back to work?”

“Fine with me,” I said with a grin. I got a nod from him and Rossi, a smile from the ladies and a clap on the back from Morgan. Reid gave me a small, closed-lipped smile, and directed his attention back to the maps and pictures hanging on the board.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

It took us the next three days to find and catch the killer. Three days full of Reid avoiding me at all costs. Maybe I was crazy, maybe I was hallucinating, but I thought we had a moment. I thought that I’d done something good for once, something to prove to him that I wasn’t a terrible human. But no. Nope. Not a chance, because for the rest of that afternoon and the three days following, the avoidance was actually worse than it was before. I didn’t even think that was possible. It had earned me more respect from the rest of them, but not him himself. Did I embarrass him? Was he weirded out that I touched him? Was his loathing for me just that strong? It didn’t make any sense and by day three, I was at my wits end.

“Emily.” I stated.

“What?” she asked me.

“What did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Our profile is good and we hav-”

“No, not about the profile. About Reid.”

“Oh,” she said, seemingly surprised. “How do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I get it, I’m bad news, but this feels like more. Was it something I said the other day with Kristy..?”

“Ha! So you do know her name,” she said with a grin. I rolled my eyes. She was trying to get me off topic.

“Seriously, though. He’s not this cold to everyone.”

“Well, he can be a hard person to get to know,” she said, avoiding the breadth of my questions.

“But not this hard?” I tried to finish.

“No, not usually,” she replied. She clearly knew something I didn’t, and was very hesitant to give it up.

“If you aren’t going to tell me, at least tell me it wasn’t something I did the other day.”

“No, not really.” She was keeping herself distracted with the pictures in front of us, even though they were useless considering the rest of the team was already headed to a barn where the unsub kept his victims before decapitating them.

I sighed. “Fine.”

She looked over at me. “Sorry.”

It was all she had to say.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

They ended up finding the killer in the barn with his next victim, and were forced to fire because he refused to put the machete down. It was late Thursday night when we were getting on the jet to go home. We were all exhausted.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” Derek came to ask me a few minutes into the ride.

“Huh?” I asked, completely confused.

“With pretty boy?” he prompted. I’d lost all hope, at that point, of ever getting to know him. Even after he thanked me for swooping in and saving him from that bitch, he still seemed utterly disinterested.

“Probably not,” I said, tiredness running through my voice. Other thing: since when did Derek Morgan suddenly care and become my friend? The dinners must really work. All the more reason to lift myself out of my chair and go talk to Reid.

Morgan was still staring at me expectantly.

“Ok, alright, I’m going,” I said, getting up. He raised his eyebrows at me and flashed me that pearly smile of his. It made me want to praise him and hit him all at the same time.

I walked over to where Reid was sitting, thankful that no one else decided to sit across from him.

“Friday or Saturday?” I asked.

He looked up at me, puzzled. “What?”

“Friday. Or Saturday?”

“What are you asking me for?”

“Why can’t you just answer the damn question?” I asked a little too harshly, sliding into the seat across from him. He leaned back in his chair, putting as much distance between us as he could without just getting up and leaving. It seemed to me he’d rather just be swallowed up by the wall.

“Look,” I tried starting over with a softer tone. “Clearly you have something against me. Something more than the criminal thing. I’ve been killing myself for the past six weeks trying to figure out what it is but I’m at a loss.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

That set me off. I was trying to be nice, make an effort, but he just kept shooting me down. So I decided I was done being nice.

“Okay, Doctor Reid. I’ve been refraining from judgements because, who knows? Maybe I remind you of someone who hurt you. Maybe I remind you of someone you lost. I don’t want to push it if that’s the case. And, hell! If anything, you guys are the ones who are supposed to be judging me, not the other way around. You all have a six to ten year head start on making connections with each other. I’ve been here for six weeks. I’ve been doing this dinner thing with everyone because I’m trying to get to know the members of this team. I mean, you are considered part of the team right?” I looked around the jet to the audience I knew I had. “He is considered a part of this team, right?” It was rhetorical and they all knew it. Even if it wasn’t, I think they were all too flabbergasted that I was going after their baby to actually answer. I turned back to him.

“Like, I understand that you are up here in ‘Genius Stratosphere’,” I said, waving my hand around above my head, “but if I were to make a list of all the team members, you would be on it, right?”

“Yes!” he finally answered, exasperated.

“Great. So go to dinner with me,” I said. It was the most compelling argument I could make in the moment.

“Why?”

I sighed. He was not making this easy for me. Not like I expected him to.

I tried to make my voice sound neutral again. “I’m just trying to get to know you. If you ever decide to stop acting like a little bitch about it, or you finally wanna help me out and tell what your problem is … or just tell me exactly what you need from me, even if that is avoidance, let me know. Because I’m getting pretty sick and tired of … all this,” I said, gesturing to the air. Spencer was looking down again, and I figured he would continue to ignore me.

I got halfway out of the seat and was about to turn away when he said, “Friday.” It was barely more than a whisper and he was still looking down when I turned to face him.

“What?” I demanded.

“Friday,” he said with more confidence this time, meeting my eyes.

“Spectacular choice,” I said, lacking any emotion. I reached for the napkin sitting next to his coffee cup and the pen I had in my jacket pocket. I scratched my number on it. “That’s my personal number. I gave it to everyone in case you can’t reach me on my work one or it is for something non-work related, which this occasion would be. Text me the place. I wouldn’t want you to have to suffer through bad food you didn’t like, as well,” I stated, crossing my arms. I walked back toward my seat, Morgan long since evacuated. I gaged the reactions around me as I walked, and clearly no one had ever talked to Reid like that before. It didn’t surprise me since he seemed like golden boy number one and no one ever had any reason to get short with him. But I didn’t feel bad. He’d treated me like a pile of shit, almost less than human, and I was over it. I was going to earn my respect from him one way or the other, and it was now up to him to decide. We were either going to be working friends, or working enemies.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

Spencer just sat there the rest of the plane ride home, not really being able to focus on the book in front of him. No one had ever snapped at him like that, or at least, not in the last few years, and definitely not from a teammate. But she was not their typical teammate. She was not their typical anything. He may have been in ‘Genius Stratosphere’ but she was in a whole new stratosphere of her own.

He didn’t know why she got to him so much. Well, he did, but he wasn’t willing to admit it. Not even to himself. Plus, he didn’t have to justify why he didn’t like a top-notch criminal. She’d killed people and that in itself was enough reason. But the fact that she seemed bothered by him not liking her, and her genuine confusion and interest as to what was going on struck a chord. Maybe he had been too harsh in his treatment of her.

Spencer was sitting there recounting all of their interactions, or lack thereof, and started to question himself. Especially once he got to their more recent interactions.

Reid was bewildered, which rarely ever happened, and it made him all the more annoyed. Why’d she step in to help me? Did she really mean everything she said? Why was her touch so calming? The last thought took him by surprise, and he tried to shake the feeling.

He could remember the way she just lightly brushed up against him, resting her hand on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world. He could also tell that she was being as delicate and considerate of his ‘not-a-fan-of-touching’ thing as she could while also selling the illusion. He remembered how it felt to have his arm around her and that slight squeeze she gave him to let him know she was there to help…

He forced himself to snap out of it. He could hardly stand to be in the same room as her, yet having her right next to him was fine? It didn’t make any sense. But the one thought that was driving him crazier than the rest was why, out of all the people on the team, was she able to detect his discomfort better and faster than anyone else? Yes, like she said, she’d gotten quite used to seeing him uncomfortable, but so had the rest of the team. They’d known him for six years plus and she’d only known him for six weeks. How was it that they couldn’t pick up on it and she could? Had she really been paying that much attention to him?

No, he concluded, definitely not. Someone like Aundreya would not care enough to pay that much attention to me. She was probably just doing her job. She was very skilled, after all.

But he still felt weird.

Once the plane landed, Aundreya bolted like her life depended on it. She’d never been one for sticking around longer than necessary. It made sense, considering she had gotten used to avoiding the police and now she was constantly surrounded by, not just police, but FBI. The rest of the team slowly made their way to their cars, and Spencer decided to stop Derek and ask him about it.

“Hey Morgan,” he said. Derek turned around to face him.

“What’s up, pretty boy?”

“Have I really been that awful to her?” That caught Emily and JJ’s attention, who turned around to walk a few paces back to where Spencer and Derek were standing.

“Are you asking about Aundreya?” Derek asked. Spencer nodded. “I mean, I get where you’re coming from.”

“That wasn’t my question,” Reid pointed out. The three of them stared at him, but he waited for an answer.

“Maybe a little bit,” JJ said.

“Look, Reid, we all had reservations about her going into this. But Hotch was right, she’s had a troubled background but she’s not a horrible person. I think it would benefit both of you, and the team, if you just tried getting to know her,” Emily said. She was always so good at making sense out of every situation without seeming to take sides.

“I know. I just feel … weird about it,” Reid stated. It was hard for him to describe what he was feeling and what the issue was.

“I understand how you feel. I didn’t want to go to dinner either because I just kept telling myself that she’s a criminal and I didn’t want to get involved,” Derek said. Spencer was looking at him intently. “But it was actually kinda good. It helped me understand her, and it’s been a lot better coming to work now that I feel like I can at least somewhat rely on her to help us out.”

“I agree. Talking to each other will only help,” JJ reminded him. They were right. It would help him feel more comfortable at work if he felt more comfortable with her.

“Okay. Thank you,” he said to them. He turned to walk toward his car when Derek’s voice stopped him.

“Oh, and uh, Reid,” he said, “Clearly she’s willing to put in the effort to make it work. She did step in to help you out the other day. I don’t think a cold-hearted criminal would’ve done that.”

Spencer nodded at Derek and he nodded back. Spencer got into his car and started driving back to his apartment, trying to think of the best place he could, to meet Aundreya for dinner.

Part 2

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 4 years ago

Text

Letter from a disenchanted student of the Divine Principle

Many Unification Church members seem to think people who left the organization are like some kind of lapsed Catholics, but most of those people just recognized Moon’s absurd and contradictory rhetoric had absolutely no relationship to reality – I pointed out many of those obvious contradictions in my previous letter to Rev Moon. Even the vaunted Divine Principle was not his own teaching. Much of it came from a woman called Seong-do Kim whose revelations began in 1923. She stated that Jesus did not come to die (not new because other Christians had taught this previously), she also taught that the fall was a sexual sin (again not new because Jewish scholars suggested this long ago and anyone can recognize the association, even sex shops use a bitten apple to advertise their wares). She also taught about the change of blood lineage through the messiah – thus justifying all the deviant sexual activity involved in the pikareum rituals. Another source was a woman called Chong Deuk-eun who dictated a book called the Principle of Life in 1946-47. It was published in 1958.

The history parallels were taken straight from the teachings of Baek-moon Kim’s Israel Monastery – being the reason they finish in 1917, which was Baek-moon’s birth date rather than 1920 when Moon was born. The final Divine Principle book was composed by a committee guided by Hyo-won Eu with input from Young Oon Kim and various professors. So rather than being a direct revelation, the DP is actually an interesting amalgam of Christian theology, nineteenth century science, Oriental philosophy and shamanism – added to the insights and teachings that were taken from various Korean spiritual groups.  

This was why I felt free to approach much of the DP as almost allegorical because the main thing to emphasize was personal spiritual maturity – the development of a loving parental heart. (The real meaning of ‘perfection’.) I never believed that absolute Cain/Abel rubbish spouted by Moon and Japanese leaders. I remember one itinerant worker saying, ‘If my central figure tells me this red dress is blue then it’s blue.’ Absolutely insane – but this is exactly the kind of thing that has been propagated by the Moon family and their minions, especially in Japan, and it leads to all kinds of abuses.

  In addition to the DP we also have Rev. Moon’s great blessing theory, whereby through downing a glass of holy wine and being engrafted to his lineage we become capable of conceiving pure offspring, free from original sin. These ‘blessed’ children can then form the core of the heavenly kingdom on earth, of course with the ‘True Parents’ and their children at the absolute center. However, the proof of any pudding is in the eating – regardless of how good the recipe might sound. So let us look at the results, the fruits of the messiah and his teaching.

We can start with some of his own blessed children: Ye Jin – (Divorced.) Hyo Jin – was a drug addict, I saw him give a sermon one time when he was so stoned he had to hold on to the podium in order to stand up. He punched and kicked his wife, Nansook Hong, watched pornography, walked around with a gun in his pocket and beat up church members. (Divorced.) In Jin – was forced to resign her position because it became public knowledge about her affairs with two married members and the illegitimate child she had with one of them. (Divorced.) Un Jin – said clearly on TV that her father was not the messiah, and that the church was just about power and money. (Divorced.)   Hyun Jin, the kind-hearted business expert who wanted to cut the salaries of our church’s jewelry workers by a third – I saw a video of him calling a church leader an arrogant bastard and kicking him as the man knelt before him. No matter what the guy was guilty of, this was just one more example of the violence perpetrated by the Moon family. Which of course was epitomized by Cleopas, the black Zimbabwean supposedly embodying the spirit of Heung Jin, who went around the world viciously beating up men and women, putting some in hospital. He even threatened church members with a pistol. (All of it approved by Rev Moon who laughed at the beatings and had himself used a baseball bat on members.)  

Kook Jin – an arms dealer who said Abel wouldn’t have been killed if he’d had a gun. Divorced his wife and had himself re-blessed with a Korean beauty queen. He now has his own group of armed ‘knights’ willing to do whatever he orders. (Divorced.)   Hyung Jin, the heir apparent (according to him), lied about getting a BA from Harvard when he actually attained a lower qualification – and if he thinks the parable of the sower is referring to ‘absolute sex’ I think he needs to go back to Divinity School. His Sanctuary Church now promotes the owning of AR-15 semi-automatic assault rifles, and has ceremonies with participants carrying these lethal weapons while wearing bizarre crowns of bullets. According to one of his recent speeches, all the women of the world are ‘Brides of Christ,’ and he of course is now in that Christ position.

Don’t want to go into details about some of the others as I feel sorry for them.

  So this so-called true family demonstrates clearly that there is no difference between blessed children and any others. Rev. Moon said as much in Korea when he was talking about Sammy Park, his illegitimate son. He said, ‘The sons from the concubine are better because there is more passion involved in their conception.’ So much for the value of the blessing.   

(Of course Mrs Moon blames the bad behavior of her adult, absolute ruler children on the poor church members, as though they could do anything to control it.)  

So now lets look at the practical results of all the members’ sacrifice and offerings:   This Parc One court case (the conflict that began between Kook Jin and Hyun Jin) resulted in at least 700 million dollars of church money going to lawyers and outside companies. This is at a time when Japanese church members were being bled dry; many could not even afford to go to the dentist. (They were commonly referred to as ‘the toothless ones’ in Japan.)  

Cheongpyeong – you couldn’t make it up – they were selling apartments in the spirit world! People have to be completely away with the fairies to buy into that. Mrs Hyo Nam Kim (Dae Mo Nim or Hoon Mo Nim) after being denounced as a fraud, walked away with assets worth more than 230 million dollars (including one of the top golf courses in South Korea), so her spiritual real estate business must have been doing very well. It’s as crazy as charging money so that your ancestors can attend workshops with the spirit of Heung Jin, or paying thirty dollars for two bottles of Danjobi shampoo to get evil spirits out of your hair. (This all of course also being done with the consent of Rev Moon.)

Mrs Kim was supposedly channeling Dae Mo Nim, the mother of Hak Ja Han, which was actually a strange choice because Dae Mo Nim and another woman had spent two years in jail for beating a mentally ill youth to death in one of these frenzied ansu sessions (where they beat bad spirits out of people).

That whole Cheongpyeong providence is merely old Korean shamanism, and just because people have spiritual experiences there doesn’t validate what is going on. Something many members don’t realize is that God works to educate and reach people regardless of what religion they are following.  

Rev. Moon often praised Korean culture but Korea was a slave society for most of its history. Although the number of slaves had declined during the nineteenth century the institution was not legally banned until 1894, and the system survived in practice until the 1920s. At least one third of the population were slaves in the past, and the children of slaves automatically belonged to their masters – with most wealthy men keeping concubines. The Koreans always had that tradition of the Yangban, or aristocrats, being served by everybody else, even having a caste of sex slaves for that purpose.  

Another tradition was idol worship and shamanism. All this drumming and beating at Cheongpyeong is actually for drawing spirits into people, not driving them out. The disgusting business of putting Moon’s semen and blood into the holy wine is more shamanism. Shamans believe if you can get someone to imbibe your bodily fluids they will come under your control. By the way, Rev Moon’s children used to refer to Mrs Kim and her people as ‘the witches of Cheongpyeong.’ To put this in perspective there are still over 300,000 shamans or ‘mudangs’ plying their trade in Korea.   

Conferences. After working on some of them I was shown very clearly that all those big science, arts and other conferences actually had no purpose other than glorifying Rev Moon. He wasn’t at all interested in any results from those meetings, only in how many famous people attended.

  About 500 million dollars is donated each year by the Japanese church, but where does it all go? What great world-changing projects do you see it used for? Of what use are all these glorious palaces? The one at Cheongpyeong cost over a thousand million dollars. Just think what good could have been done in the world with such funds. This particular palace is now adorned with giant statues of Hak Ja Han with Jesus kneeling before her and a much diminished figure of Sun Myung Moon in obedient attendance. She has effectively created a new religion centered on herself by changing the basic teachings and proclaiming herself as the Only Begotten Daughter of God, the wife of God, the mother of God and God himself/herself. (What kind of mental gymnastics the present members are doing to believe this utter nonsense is beyond me.) 

 I know each national church lives in its own little bubble, in effect creating its own version of the Unification society and cherry picking which headquarters’ directions to implement. Each country also seems to hold onto its own view of the ‘messiah,’ effectively editing out anything that does not conform to this ideal. However, with the advent of the Internet this can thankfully no longer be the case.

It is the very core of the Unification Church that needs to be examined. The whole church has been built on lies. Even Rev Moon’s life story is full of falsehoods. Remember that picture of him carrying the man on his back; he let it be known for years that it was him before finally admitting it wasn’t.

The stories about Heungnam – I heard a testimony from one of those early disciples where she went to visit him and found him drinking tea in a nearby village! Chung-hwa Pak had been an officer in the military and was put in charge of the prisoners. He designated which tasks the prisoners should do. He was able to give Moon time off so they could talk together about his beliefs. Moon was not always being worked to death as he later stated. 

He said he graduated in electrical engineering at Waseda University in Tokyo, but he actually only attended night classes at a technical high school. 

The Church made out that Moon was arrested in North Korea for preaching against communism, but the charges were really for bigamy and adultery. Chong-hwa Kim, the married woman involved, was also jailed. His anti-communist stance came much later.  

The story about him meeting Jesus on the mountainside is also untrue. It was Seong-do Kim who first told people she’d had these Easter revelations, then Baek-moon Kim claimed them as his, and finally Rev Moon – whose lies gave him away as Easter did not fall on the date he gave for that year. In his most recent account of that meeting he calls Jesus a bastard, and originally taught that Jesus should have had sex with his mother to restore the fall. He also claimed to have met and talked with Buddha, but until his first visit to India he thought Buddha was Chinese.   

The Tragedy of the Six Marys. This book described the pikareum, or womb-cleansing, ceremonies conducted during the early years of the Unification Church. For years we were told it was untrue, but before the book came out in Japan they started giving lectures explaining the providential reasons why Moon had to have sex not only with the Six Marys, but also with all the wives of the 36, 72 and even the 124 couples. Some of the members listening to those lectures left the church afterwards so they stopped giving them, but they started them again in Korea from what I heard.

The Israel Monastery was a pikareum church with Baek-moon Kim doing the womb cleansing by having sex with the female members. Another similar one was the Olive Tree Movement started by Tae-Seon Park. This had 300,000 members and the churches had special rooms to practice the pikareum rituals. So there were plenty of examples of this grotesque idea for Rev Moon to draw on.  

The holy wine ceremony is a symbolic sexual act, but for the first years of the church Rev Moon actually had sex with the female members. This is the core of the church and it is both vile and ludicrous.  

I don’t say these things lightly because I needed plenty of evidence before I believed them, but I know people in both Japan and Korea who attended lectures where this behavior was justified. In America Hyung Jin and Kook Jin have admitted such things happened. It was admitted by Young Oon Kim, Papasan Choi, Chung-Hwa Pak, President Eu’s cousin (Shin-hee Eu), Annie Choi (the mother of Sam Park), Deok-jin Kim and many others. Rev Yong also went around the world giving lectures explaining the dispensational necessity of such sex practices.

  God of Day and God of Night. There used to be a shrine to this primitive Korean god to the east of Seoul. (Moon was incorporating any kind of rubbish into his mythology by the end of his life.)

I could report on even worse activities and crimes but I think this is enough for now. The Divine Principle itself is a wonderful construct, (Hyo-won Eu being something of a genius) the only problem being that it isn’t true. So much of the numerology, four position foundations, triple objective purposes and so on, is actually meaningless. There was no sexual fall and inherited original sin and Satan are non-existent. The history parallels are extremely contrived, and although interesting, prove nothing at all. There are many more aspects of the book that don’t make sense. Some parts of course are helpful, Jesus not coming to die and so on, but none of these are original ideas, so the book certainly doesn’t prove that Moon is the Second Advent.

▲ Baek-moon Kim was born in 1917. He devised the parallels of history.

  As predicted nothing happened on Foundation Day apart from a few pointless ceremonies. The church leadership knew this would be the case, which is why they were already telling people to prepare for 2020, the 100th anniversary of Moon’s birth. Mrs Moon is emphasizing witnessing now. (Because tithes are an ongoing source of revenue.) She recently told the Japanese wives in Korea that if they don’t do well then their descendants will pay lots of indemnity. She seems to have forgotten what her husband said on October 27, 1999, ‘No more indemnity is needed. The providence of restoration is completed.’

  I personally think anyone still teaching the Divine Principle has to examine all of the above, and then ask themselves if they are just helping to propagate a gigantic destructive fraud? Thousands of people have gone through real suffering to enrich Moon and his family. Many of them had their lives ruined by being matched and married to people they could not relate to. It’s hard to believe but Moon’s church even advertised for any Korean men who wanted wives to come to one of those big blessings – just to make the numbers up, although he charged them between two and ten thousand dollars for each purchased bride. He then matched dedicated Japanese sisters to men who weren’t even church members – some of whom were unemployed drunkards or worse. (One of these wives eventually killed her Korean husband after suffering years of abuse.) Again, ask yourself whether these matchings were the action of a loving father, or an evil despot with no concern at all for the happiness and well-being of others?

  If members were matched with someone they could love and be happy with, then they were in the minority, as it was mostly a matter of luck. Remember he matched physical brothers and sisters on at least four occasions that I know of, then changed the matching when he was told about it, so it certainly wasn’t God guiding him.

  If people want God in their lives all they have to do is invite him in. Knock and the door will be opened. You don’t need to go to God through Moon or anyone else, and heaven is a place for heavenly people, so if you aren’t heavenly then no blessing, white robe or inseminated wine is going to get you in there.

And just to be clear, arrogance and avarice are not heavenly attributes.

  I believe anyone who has sincerely tried to serve God and create a better world has certainly not wasted their time, because God will remember their efforts whatever religion they followed, but the Unification Church, FFWPU, or Hak Ja Han’s new name for it ‘Heavenly Parent’s Holy Community,’ is nothing but a despotic money-making, power-seeking, destructive scam that should not be supported in any way.  

My apologies people, no jokes this time, I’m too disgusted by the whole sorry mess.  

Sloe Gin

______________________________________________

Newsweek on the many Korean messiahs of the 1970s

Hwang Gook-joo and his orgies

The Divine Principle is constructed to control members

Sun Myung Moon’s Theology of the Fall, Tamar, Jesus and Mary

Sun Myung Moon – Restoration through Incest

Shamanism is at the heart of Sun Myung Moon’s church

Japanese member, Ms. K, was forced to marry Korean man she did not like

Sun Myung Moon makes me feel ashamed to be Korean

The Fall of the House of Moon – New Republic

Sun Myung Moon’s secret love child – Mother Jones

Cult Indoctrination – and the Road to Recovery

#Sloe Gin #Divine Principle

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mitigatedchaos · 5 years ago

Text

(~1,500 words / 6 mins)

google Zarus

- @contemplate-everything

Hah, I had forgotten about him, but when it comes to "The Gods are Racist," he isn't what I had in mind. (I'll tag in @samueldays and @morlock-holmes as well.)

To put it simply, in any fantasy setting in which there are multiple sapient species (to call them 'races' suggests a smaller difference between them than there is, in my opinion), we must wrestle with the question of why there is any species less intelligent, less kind, and shorter-lived than the smartest, kindest, longest-lived humanoids.

There are a whole lot of different perspectives we can take on this, which makes it a fertile creative territory.

There are, broadly, four major reasons a species can be evil (or 'evil') in a fantasy setting: environment, culture, innate, or selected.

1. Environment.

In a friend's setting, orcs are not less intelligent or inherently more bloodthirsty than humans, but have been pushed onto more marginal lands that have less productivity, making it harder for them to develop 'civilized' agricultural states. They end up more likely to raid as well, as their economic production for advanced goods is lower.

A species could also be otherwise normal, but are widely hooked on evil magic drugs that just aren't available in other areas, or have a local environmental pressure that murders kind people.

2. Culture.

A species may worship an evil god and exist within a culture of self-sustaining evil norms, where social approval is based on being evil and altruistic people are considered exploitable morons. A member of that culture has, as their entire life experience, expectations formed on this basis.

3.A. Innate (Body)

A species may have a fundamental evil resource conflict with another species. For instance, a vampire who must murder one human a year to survive would have to be crazy moral in other ways (such as, I dunno, holding closed a gate to the infernal realms?) not to come out, on balance, quite evil just by surviving.

Alternatively, a species that has a very high fertility might quickly exhaust local carrying capacity and come into resource conflicts with neighbors more often.

3.B. Innate (Mind)

This is basically an AI safety argument. A species could be designed to enjoy cruelty more, or to be more xenophobic, or more paranoid, or to have more bloodlust or less inhibition, just as an AI could be designed to be a paperclip maximizer. In a fantasy setting it can be an absolute binding, but it could easily just be an increased frequency. Imagine having an implant in your head that rewards being a bad person.

A species might also not be innately more evil, but have greater risk factors, such as a natural craving for power and complexity, or an ability to consciously control their own sense of empathy for others.

4. Selected

A species (such as fiends) may be impossible to become or impossible to remain as without being evil. Thus, the entire population of that species consists of evil people, or people who were once extremely evil.

I actually like all of these, as they provide a rich palette to paint with and can be used to create morally-challenging scenarios when used together. Giving orcs the capability to be good but having a tougher time of it will tie the clerics and paladins in knots - but also more clearly separates them from the neutral and evil characters.

And let's give four reasons for their existence as well.

1. Evolution

In our world, humans ended up being the only sapient species, but in a world with magic, evolution might go in very different directions. It could be simply that no one made goblins on purpose, but a sapient species with short lifespans, small resource usage, and high fertility has an evolutionary edge in many regions, particularly when technology levels are low.

On the flip-side, elves living for such a long time allows them to access more magic and more complex magic, resulting in a feedback loop in environments where magic resources are rich. Same for intelligence, which is used for developing and casting spells - but also for finding mutually-beneficial arrangements.

In a magic-evolutionary environment, it's possible that the species create the gods rather than the other way around, so they tend to (probably accidentally) create deities that reflect their strategies and tactics, which then reinforce them both culturally and environmentally.

2. Evil Deities

Evil deities are, well, evil. In the interests of spreading their evil influence, it would make sense to create evil sapient creatures, even if a handful of them will defect to good. The suffering of these creatures matters little to their creators, as evil deities are evil. This seems to be the usual reasoning.

3. Divine Ecology

If gods need prayers, then a logical thing to do is to deliberately create sapient species that will worship you. Creating an evil species is like creating a brainwashed population, only it's down to the innate level so it's even more effective. This evil species also won't have moral objections to spreading your worship by conquering the rest of the planet.

Alternatively, species may not be equally easy to create. Creating an elf species might cost Divine Points, which then can't be used for shaping mountains or adding oceans or building temples or something. It might also be high-risk - long life may mean low fertility, which could be devastating if there's some kind of depopulation event.

4. Mortals & Evil Mortals

In this scenario, both the long-lived species (like elves) and the short-lived or 'evil' species (like goblins) were deliberately engineered on purpose, probably by evil wizards. Who was going to stop them? Paladins? That sounds like a quest!

This situation may have occurred much earlier, in a more advanced body-hopping fantasy-transhumanist civilization, where elves were high-end 'sleeves' and goblins were cheap and expendable bodies that people would exit once the time period was up. Then that civilization collapsed, and the body-hopping technology was lost... until now...

This gives us multiple options for a "The Gods are Racist" campaign.

1. Undoing the Dark Gods' Handiwork - A group of adventurers set out to remove the evil influence that the Dark Ones exert over orcs and goblins, and possibly increase their lifespan and intelligence to be similar to that of humans (or even elves). The Good gods support this quest.

BRANCH: The Dark Ones do exist and do corrupt the orcs, but the original technology used by the body-hopping civilization to create orcs is discovered, calling into question just who or what the good deities are, since this is completely incompatible with the creation mythology.

BRANCH: Removing the evil influence is possible (and successful), but increasing the lifespan is not, imposing a moral dilemma.

2. Undoing the Gods' Handiwork - A group of scientific-rationalist transhumanist adventurers challenge the deities, which in a more Greek god type way, have made the different species different without appropriate moral evaluation.

BRANCH: Turns out the Greek gods are just very powerful and very obnoxious wizards that have become full of themselves over the millennia. No higher entity is discovered with certainty. Subsequently voluntary species-change technology is introduced; only thanks to vanquishing the wizards is its energy cost economically feasible.

BRANCH: Turns out the Greek gods were once mortal and they would really like to retire from this deity thing. They scout the adventurers as their replacements, who end up having to make a lot of similar decisions due to similar resource constraints, just like the last batch and the batch before that.

3. Elf Supremacy - A group of adventurers find a magical device able to turn other sapients into elves. They discover this when they accidentally use it on themselves.

BRANCH: This is part of a plot by the Elf Deity (who is Evil) to transform everyone into elves, thus taking all worship in the entire world for himself. The party must root out and stop this vile Elf Conspiracy; unfortunately being an elf is considered so desirable that the conspiracy has many backers and this proves difficult. They end up having to take assistance from rival evil deities.

BRANCH: At first they use this device for immense profit, because so many people want to be elves, before discovering the effects are contagious, unleashing the (involuntary) Elf (Transformation) Plague. It turns out this was why the technology was not used before, and they must embark on a quest to stop it on behalf of the Elf Deity, before the other deities go to war.

BRANCH: As a subversion, it turns out there’s nothing especially dangerous about the technology at all. The adventurers spend the rest of the campaign increasing their opportunities for their company, Elf Inc., to make huge amounts of money, and occasionally being challenged by conservative elements in other societies as they expand their markets.

4. Newly Unequal - All the species were equal until just a few hundred years ago.

BRANCH: This was the result of an elf supremacist wizard using magic to transfer other species' positive attributes to elves. The quest to stop him failed. Fortunately, this power is concentrated in a series of physical artifacts that can be destroyed. Elves aren't even a 'real thing,' but rather are descendants of a specific kingdom at the time of the switch, which has used this transferred power to subjugate the other 'species'.

BRANCH: Every kingdom in the world is still trying to figure out what happened as the global political situation has been rapidly destabilizing. It turns out that actually, this is what the species are normally like (in the absence of intervention), and a series of magical stations built by an ancient empire drained energy from more powerful species and transmitted it to less powerful species for the benefit of ideology and political stability. The adventurers face a moral choice in reactivating it, not least because the effect will rapidly kill some of the oldest members of the high-power species.

#dnd cosmology #dnd tag #longpost

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thelordstears · 4 years ago

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I can’t possibly stop writing. I fear I’d cease to exist and crumble into ashes (And that’d suck)

“ People don't need to drop a single drop of blood from their own kind to make it in this world, but unfortunately, we call ourselves animal to excuse such animalistic acts.” - Brooke Woodwarde

“ We are no wolves, we are no sheep, we're people. But I don't see us acting as such. We act as if we were beasts, sent here to destroy. Odin, lives in honor, we do not reflect that. There's no honor in unnecessary bloodshed. We aren't human, anymore.” - Brooke Woodwarde

“ Who cares if the knights worship one Lord? For all we know there could be nothing in the skies but clouds and stars.” - Brooke Woodwarde

“ This is a land of war, not a land of honor. We poisoned the garden and asked why it withered." - Brooke Woodwarde

"Your mind is not so sympathetic, your mind is the greatest torture device in your arsenal. It works against you, just as a shattered clock ticks in the wrong direction, your mind thinks all wrong, wicked deeds plague you, but once you learn to accept you're no decent human being you learn, perhaps broken never meant bad.” - Elton Sederfault

“ I have been through many a torment, many a tragedy, so much so that I believe I became one.” - Elton Sederfault

“ My heart has been torn from my chest so horrifically, you wouldn't believe what beats inside my chest. Oh it's such an ugly creature, wrought with sin and hatred, but once upon a time a love for the world. But this gem inside my chest, this beautiful diamond lost it's glimmer. And now, it's nothing but coals, and the fire shalt only burn other's." - Elton Sederfault

“ Tom is broken, in some ways. But da most beautiful of things always are. 'E's stronger den 'e could eva' know, he's me damn son, and I love 'im, and if 'e ever needed a shield against da bullet's the world sends 'is way, I'll stand in front'a him and make sure 'e knew, I's got 'is damn back, always.” - Cleopatra Peterson

“ Look, ya could act as if yer past were chains that drag ya down, or ya could realize ya hold the key, and it's a little bit 'a faith.” - Cleopatra Peterson

"Perfection is an abnormality we can't achieve, who ever says they're perfect is either a liar or extremely lost in their very own delusion.” - Cruz Santinos

“ Reality is much, much, stranger than fiction. Because what I see, it's real, perhaps not to you, but I see it, and by God, does it scare me.” - Cruz Santinos

“ Here I am, lost in a world unraveled travelling these lands, wishing I was alone. But with a plague such as mine? I ain't never alone. By God do I wish I could be lonely, for once. These voices don't leave, and with a world devoid of medicine, there ain't no cure no more.” - Cruz Santinos

“ People don't give a fuck, they'll tear into you, and say you were the one serving the platter. What's a rabbit to a wolf but a means to an end?” - Cas Holts

“ Ya know, the sun always rises but that don't mean the days always warm. There's morning dew, the frost that lays against the damn trees, and snow that cuts against your damn cheek. The sun rising don't bring warmth it just brings a little bit of damn hope.” - Cas Holts

“ Welcome, welcome, come round, gather to watch the greatest show of all time. The fall of Ellsworth Davis, the showman, the mad man, the tyrant of the circus! He's watched you all suffer, so why not make him suffer huh? Suffering leads to hatred, and hatred leads to villainy.” - Ellsworth Davis

“ I watch the lion leap through the ring of fire and let his mane burn simply for my pleasure, the one whom tames the animals gets eaten alive by the wolves he though family, the strongman is crushed beneath his own weights, and the clown puts on a smile for all, but deep inside knows, a painted smile is all he could ever manage. You might as well call me P.T Barnum, because I am a cruel being, using humans as my very own freak show attraction! The elephant man would snap his own neck because all he ever wanted to do, was be normal. But no, he was a freak of nature they said! An atrocity! A circus act only to be displayed but never sympathized for! We are all freakish in nature, knowing normality is something we can't achieve.” - Ellsworth Davis

“ I run the sinners circus, I let lions leap through flames and trapeze artists swing through the air with no net. And I suppose, the joke was always on me." - Ellsworth Davis

"If this is life, and all I ever was is a perpetrator of evil deeds, than give me the very thing I've given so many other's. Besides, death is the only thing that could save me.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I got some devils ta slay and some damn debts ta pay. Ya listenin', devil who broke me so? Cause if ya thought Hell was bad, let me introduce ya ta vengeance.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I coulda been a saint long 'go, but now I'm nothin' but an angry bull, ready ta charge at the matador who provoked me. Show me the color 'a red, and I'll show you a darker hue.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I'd pray ta bring back my wings, but where has prayer ever gotten me? An echo of silence and my thoughts, so right where I began.” - Dylan Huffers

“ My mother is a memory, she was a hero, maybe not in the world's eyes, but my own. I guess, we get what we fucking get and don't throw a fit. So save me, or don't. I can deal with both salvation and damnation, so long as I get peace." - Dylan Huffers

"They say fear is a survival mechanism, it keeps you alive, but from what I've seen first hand fear is no survival mechanism, it is in fact the very opposite. Fear is what gets you killed, and he who lives without it, pulls the trigger.” Redacted

“ I am a God, a dynasty, a ruler. They say all rulers fall, but here I am, opposing that rule. I could sweep down and cut anyone I please down, because I'm feared. The key to ruling a kingdom is fear, your subjects fear the consequence of their actions, whether it be death or suffering they'll never know.” Redacted

“ All you need to appease the crowd is a jacket of good deeds.” Redacted

“ If you live life in sorrow, that is no life at all, perhaps you're past is a sorrowful tale, but don't let that define your future.” - Lacey Rose

“ Family can be anyone, people you met while you held onto Hell, or people who dragged you into the light, even if you kicked, screamed and resisted. We are all of us beautiful, and we deserve the chance to know it.” - Lacey Rose

"I think the path we're given is often one to follow, and if you go astray, just listen to your heart, it'll usually lead you in the right direction. Sure, it might break every once in awhile, but who said a little love can't fix the heart? It's the only remedy known to cure a broken heart.” - Gideon Rose

“ My mother has always said, "Son, don't let the world kill ya. You're stronger than the image the world wants to paint you as." And isn't that just beautiful? You don't have to be the canvas someone has made you out to be. You hold your own brush, and though your canvas may be filled with scars, paint over them. Yes, they'll remain upon the surface, but they'll be hidden from the present, and you don't have to face them unless you're ready.” - Gideon Rose

“ You look at me as you would a homeless man, "Oh he's just another drug addict, lost to the world's poison." But alas, society has never been a caring one, they say, "Look! Look at this poor mistreated fool! Watch him suffer! It's all he can do these days!" Isn't it amusing, how we damn what we don't understand because it'd be too much of a burden to understand it?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ We're all broken these days, wishing we could fix what we can never have, but we were never given the tools, so how do you expect us to create?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ I have a daughter, but surely she couldn't be proud of me, because I'm not even proud of myself, these days. So how can another claim a lie the truth when I already know it's heresy rolling of their tongue?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ No one man can withstand the storm forever. Eventually he chokes on the rain, it scalds his flesh and lightning strikes him down because all he ever was, is another casualty of a naturality.” - Arthur Wellburn

“ Ya might as well call me young Icarus, because I've put up my defenses and I'm damn well ready ta fly into the sun ta get what I seek. I may plummet from the sky on burnin' wings and hit the damn concrete face first, but if I can find myself after all these years, I'd rather be ashes then who I ain't.” - Zane Harrenburrow

“ Ya know, my life's been filled with scars that I wear on my damn sleeve, but I'm battle ready and unafraid of the god damn night. Because I've been through the dark before, and he who knows his own shadow, don't gotta fear what it'll do when the sun sinks and it ain't visible no more.” - Zane Harrenburrow

“ I've learned a helluva lot in this life of mine, most of all a bullet is the only thing that'll save a sinful man from himself. A threat or a reality, either way he'll be free from his actions, and so will the world.” - Delana Whinrich

“ When you stand in the midst of the option to save the world or yourself, choose the world for God's sake, don't make the same mistake I did.” - Delana Whinrich

“ Ya know, a man once told me, it was me pulling the trigger, whilst he held a gun to my father's head. But I've come to realize, whoever holds the gun has a choice, and thus is the one letting the damn bullet fly. Perhaps I pulled the trigger and pressed the detonator, but ya know what? I'm still a damn soldier. I fight for myself, the ones I love and the freedom of a shackled world. I'm a killer, but at least I can benefit the damn world huh?" - Delana Whinrich

"The world doesn't miss anybody, it's the people who grieve, not the earth." - Delana Whinrich

"The Queen's gambit, the act of moving a pawn upon your board as a means to sacrifice him but give the opponent a disadvantage. I think if one is to proceed with the Queen's gambit, the pawn should always be oneself.” - Romiro Smilowitz

“ People say God don't speak, but I think his actions speak a helluva lot louder than his words. We're still alive, and isn't that proof that he still has something in store for us? We may not have an instruction manual to fix the world, but all we need is our hearts and each other.” - Romiro Smilowitz

“ I'd rather be remembered as a man who did what was right, then a man who did what would keep him kicking. Survival is about how far you'll go, but life? It's about where you cross the damn line." - Romiro Smilowitz

"I'm brave, but not in the traditional sense. I block off my emotion in a battle, because I've found all it'll do is hurt me. I've let emotion control me in life before, all it resulted in was loss of life. I'm a blank slate of empty emotion.” - Cosmina Winchester

“ Everything I am is often associated with the vultures, because death hovers around me, it's as if I'm to be picked clean of good intentions and left out to rot with nothing but an ill mind.” - Cosmina Winchester

“ This cell of myself is constricting, because I fear myself, but I won't let that fear consume me. Because if I fear myself well and truly, I can't pick up a blade and show others, I am too be feared.” - Cosmina Winchester

"The roots of my family tree are wicked, but, as am I. I hang from this blackened tree, my body three feet above ground, I swing from my very own wickedness, choking on the feeble distraught of my very own sin. I look at the hands that put me in this noose, and I recognize them, the rings and the scars, the bruises and the callouses, because by God, they're my own.” - Mike Duster

“ I'm sinful down to my very core, because I was born a monster, my father has always told me, "If ya can't sin, you can't survive." But my mother has always said, "When ya get bucked off the path, you get back on the saddle." How am I to do both? Because I fear I am the very horse who bucked me off a cliffside and careened my way towards a safer clearing.” - Mike Duster

“ How is one to breathe in existence, if she doesn't even know the definition?” - Cathletta Mason

“ The hands of my father can't touch me in death.” - Cathletta Mason

“ I'm a demon in human form, a demon princess as Zargrod would say. He's sinful to his very core, and one day, he'll be my King of scorched intentions and wicked deeds. I'll be his Queen of bloodied gown and sinful lust, because what am I to do but let this love burn me to ash?” - Cathletta Mason

“ Life don't last forever honey, but my story will." - Cathletta Mason

"I look inside my chest and find my heart is a blood moon the shade of black.” - Idian Witson

“ I have claws made of sin and bone, all they do is rip into saints, its as if I'm a cheetah, because these claws don't retract, they tear into the soil as I bound and leap through the fields to pounce on the unaware gazelle who only ever wanted to graze in the grass, but would learn it was a hunting grounds.” - Idian Witson

“ I suppose I'm out of my mind, my heart is as pitch black as the nebula and as far away from warmth as Pluto.” - Idian Witson

“ They say we're all sinners, I just wish I hadn't taken it ta a higher degree.” - Greg Metals

“ I've lived my life on the highway, the revving of engines and the roar of motorcycles. But if only I hadn't become the damn crash everyone looks upon in horror. My bones broke, my heart cracked and scattered across the damn highway, but it wasn't me who was killed by the horrific accident, by God it was other's, and by God it haunts me.” - Greg Metals

“ So raise a damn glass for the tired biker, or poison the glass and finally let 'im drop. Cheers, am I right?" - Greg Metals

“ Sluzmink says it's about time someone told the damn truth. So you know what? He'll find the truth isn't bloodstained, it isn't glorified sin and bone, it's me and my six shooter with nothing but my fucking rage.” - Vivian McDermot

“ Life don't gotta be bloodstained, but Sluzmink's will be.” - Vivian McDermot

“ When someone loses everything, she's free to do whatever she pleases so long as it's in sorrow. And this vengeance of mine is a sorrowful tale. Because by the end I'll hold the broken corpse of Sluzmink fucking Jones, but I'll also hold the corpse of me.” - Vivian McDermot

“ Vengeance is a slippery slope, and I'm gonna tumble down this cliffside and take Sluzmink with me.” - Vivian Mcdermot

"You want injustice you have to get through law, and these days that wall is thin as a sheet of paper.” - Alberto Newhill

“ I've got my badge of honor and my pistol, but God, how can one man face a thousand and come out the other side of the battle alive?” - Alberto Newhill

“ One man can bury a secret, but a whole town can unbury it with integrity and will power.” - Alberto Newhill

“ The runt of the littler is the least likely to survive it's a sad fact, but true. You can't be a sheep when wolves have taken over the world, monsters hide in plain sight and I suppose I'm one of em.” - Redacted (Different one from before)

“ The street lights shine light on me only because they fear what I'd do in the dark.” - Redacted

“ A wolf in sheep's clothing is deadlier than a wolf in fur." - Redacted

"They called me sadistic killer, countess of blood, a reincarnation of Countess Bathory, the story upon the News naming me Countess of death. I'm nothing more than sin and divinity wrapped in barbed wire and glory.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ 'm so wrapped in flames it's become my dress, I twirl through this stage, embers and sparks alighting a blaze so magnificent that even the bug burning in the firepit would call it beauty.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ Most live in a single moment, and forget that their life is made of up many little moments that define who they are. We all live ruled by fate, but what if, fate, betrayed you? The roll of the dice land on snake eyes and you end up in debt, or worse, in a coffin.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ How is it I am to survive in a world that's already damned me? Am I to cast myself into the flame so another can not?” - Shandalar Belrie

“ I fled from the place I found pain, but still it follows me.” - Shandalar Belrie

“ I wish such cruel harms on the King, but if I were to kill him, I would in turn stab myself in the back and leave myself bleeding on his floor.” - Shandalar Belrie

“ How am I to live in the moment when all I can remember is the past?” - Shandalar Belrie

“ Forgive me, Gods, for I have sinned. And I only wish to survive so long as I have a path to follow that leads me to you." - Shandalar Belrie

"I haven't lost faith in God, only myself.” - Jack Samson

“ I brandish a pistol and a badge, but do I brandish a heart?” - Jack Samson

"Heroes aren't remembered, but that don't mean they're lost in the soils of history. A hero don't gotta go down in history, just up in flames for a good cause.” - Miella Fang

“ I'm a hero, not because I pull a trigger but because I don't. A bullet won't save someone who wishes to be better, sometimes all ya need to do is put that gun back in your damn holster and offer your hand to the broken soul in front of ya.” - Miella Fang

“ He says no one can kill the idea of him, that he'll go down in history, then I'll give him his damn wish. But to go down in history, first he's gotta go down.” - Miella Fang

"You first have to light a match to feel the flame, but who said it's gotta scald your heart? Why not let it melt instead? In love, in another's heart, in joy to be alive. Not every flame is lethal.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I used to weep because I thought love was a lost cause, but when Lillian holds my hand and tells me I'm hers, I feel truly, alive. And isn't it beautiful, to live for another while still living for yourself?” - Lorelei Metals

“ I could let my thoughts be bullets, or I could let them be flowers that'll blossom into the most beautiful and prospering ideas.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I love who I am, I've evolved so much, and.. I think my sister would be proud of that. God, how I miss her. She was always my hero, in all her tattooed bisexual glory.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I've been wild all my life, been caught in the riptide 'a all my pretty lil sins, but I had ta do those things ta stay topside the soil, so is it a crime ta wanna live? If it's a crime ta defend myself, give me a death sentence and call it justice” - Ivy Felinmote

“ I ain't the best woman, but I do try my best. I ain't no hero, never have been, I'm just a girl with a baseball bat and some elbow grease.” - Ivy Felinmote

“ I miss pops, he didn't deserve the fate 'e got. But now he's in the soil, and I suppose I got myself ta blame for that. I can spin the tale a thousand different ways, but it always ends with a bullet and tears.” - Ivy Felinmote

"I am the singular black rose in the garden.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“A gardener would cut me from his garden of silk red roses and yellow poppies because I don't fit the aura in all my darkness and thorns. Not even my petals are beautiful, they reek of death and corruption.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ But now she's a wisp in my mind, a ghost haunting the halls of my mind, because she's gone, by the Gods she's gone and there's nothing I can do to bring her back. I've looked in every spell book, prayed to every God, but you need a body to bring back the dead, and I have nothing of her but memories.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I could step into a garden and every rose would wilt and whither away into nothing but dust. I'm such a sinful creature that even nature can't accept me. As I said, I am the singular black rose in the garden, my thorns dig into my heart and the pitch of my heart becomes dark, the flowing of my blood in my veins becomes venomous and the petals I brandish whither and wilt and turn to dust before my eyes.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

"I'm a shootin' star hurtlin' towards greatness as if it were the got damn dinosaurs. I know greatness is a relative term, but all it takes ta be a great man is ta help other's with your actions, eh?” - Church Godsel

“ I'd rather be alone with my thoughts than surrounded in people who don't know what it is ta live.” - Church Godsel

“ I'd step inta the frontlines ta save an innocent man, my father don't like bloodshed, he wonders how we made such an egregious deed honorable, but I think so long as you got good intentions with that rifle 'a yours you gotta save who you can with the bullets you got.” - Church Godsel

"I am woven in the most beautiful of horrors, and the most delusional mystique.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I met evil when I was only a child, he was my father, after all. In all his delusions and all his horrors, he was my father, and I only wish for him to see one thing. My revolver before his final moments flash before my eyes.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I am the thing that goes bump in the night, I am the boogeyman and one of the thirty six murderers you will pass in your lifetime.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I drowned myself and people expect me to be my past self. But he's dead, isn't he? That scared little boy is gone, buried somewhere deep inside the woods behind his childhood home. I could look myself in the eye, and I'd stab myself in the back just to get ahead. Perhaps this is why I bleed so heavily, because I betrayed myself in a sense. But I won't stop, there's something therapeutic about all this madness.” - Alviro Conritz

"Ya know, I thought history was cruel. And then I lived it." - Marv Callemritz

"Sometimes, the monsters are the ones we trust the most, even if we don't wanna believe it." - Mathias Gonvable

"Oh I have long since learned that when it rains, it pours heavy on your beaten and tattered soul. Hold a dollar to the sky, the wind will pick up, and take it away in one gust, the wind, blows, blows, blows, and in its wake, trouble comes, but oh it surely doesn't go, friend." - Shawn Werdelstein

"I am the dark, and where I go trouble follows, so tread lightly, this territory is protected with fangs and old scars." - Shawn Werdelstein

"Livin' in reality, it gets dark, twisted. I suppose that's the nature of all things." - Shawn Werdelstein

"Zachary ya ain't so much a God, you hold the power 'a one, there's a difference in that. The statue of a God can be toppled, a God himself can not." - Klaus Van Velk

"When the world is at it's all time low, I am at my all time high." - Klaus Van Velk

"We already were fuckin' free mate, do you fink your politicians fought for freedom? Dey fight for bloodlust and bloodlust alone. Dey fight for demselves, if dey cared bout da cause, dey'd pick up da rifle demselves." - Winfield Coleman

"I could look into my soul, but all I'd find is desolation." - Scarletta Bonewhistle

“I'd say you deserve mercy, my brother. But that'd make both of us liars." - Violetta Gursoch

"Sometimes you have to realize the only way to win, is to own a black heart." - Ares Malstone

"Blame God all ya want Wes, but c'mon, give me a lil credit." - Gunther Mirowick

"I am but a wolf, feasting on his own wool." - Drake Chains

"Salvation holds no price too heavy to pay." - Shilo Downsworth

"I've learned justice and mercy can not, and will not, live side by side. I've watched as people tried, to show mercy to the wicked, yet in turn, they shoved a blade in their back, and the cycle of evil only continued." - Shilo Dowsnworth

"The element 'a surprise will be enough ta take out more than a few soldiers. Trust me, when guns go'a blazin' and the echo of mortality falterin' starts ringin' through the damn sky, even soldiers cower." - Davy Blight

"You could call me a saint, but I'd prove you wrong for a single gold coin." - Lugarn the Shadow

"I can't call myself a hero when I've never saved a life." - Grifold Hangers

"Life will pass you by if you don't live it." - Leonard Bakers

"I found living the wild side of life will only end in a wild way. There's no peace when you're living in chaos." - Moon Crimsonburn

"We're all saints in a world that forces us to be sinners." - Terrance Possematto

"People born into a bad life will think that's what it means to live." - Sarkelus Johnson

"I've found if it is darkness you seek, it is darkness you shall find. Seek out the light between the shadows, and you'll find it." - Victor Da Ville

"In that house of God, in that holy church, all I found was darkness and secrets no one would ever wish to see in the light." - Samina Gelbrook

"We're far from Heaven, close ta Hell, burnin' in our sins as if we were nothin' more but the trees in a forest." - Fallows Diamond

"I think, in every bad situation, there's something to be learned. Don't let the people who hurt you become imbedded so deep into your skin that they become a part of you." - Quinn Greaves

"Sometimes life kicks ya down. Just dust yourself off, and roll your die again, based on pure statistic, one day, you'll get that twenty, and find everything you never knew you needed." - Quinn Greaves

"Sometimes the world is a prison and we're the convicts polluting her atmosphere in our darkness but other times the sun shines our beaten souls." - Issac Abernathy

"He may not give two fucks about the pain he's caused, but when I'm standing before him, a gun at his damn head, he'll hear me loud and fucking clear." - Brandon Killovitch

"No one guns a man down and calls it peace except for he who tells the soldier to pull the trigger." - Messiah Morrington

"Revenge is immoral. So call me unholy." - Leola Jenefine

“If your demons are silent, listen for your angels.” - Caramel Pettagrew

"I'm covered in the blood of everything I was, I'm dancing in the ashes of me, but I held the very match that lit the damn flame.” - Sostias Hoffman

“ If my footsteps lead me inta the dark, then let me light a candle ta guide the way, and if my candle snuffs may my feet lead the way, and find the light that waits at the end 'a the tunnel.” - Alonzo Graves

"Most days my demons are silent, but on the days they speak, they break the sound barrier and leave it difficult to find any peace and quiet.” - Veronica Villenwicker

"It is in my darkest hour, in the hottest flame, the coldest ice, I have found everything I thought I had lost.” - George Stinson

“ I've lost a helluva bloody lot in life, I lost my innocence when I was thirteen, my 'ome when I was sixteen, and my will ta fuckin' live at twenty god damn one.” - Saria Romiro

"If you've seen hell, in all it's unholy flame and damnation, tell me, what does the welcome sign to Evergreen's bay look like? It's rusted around the edges, it's been weathered down by time as all things. It's hell in all it's darkness.” - Remo Gonvable

“ I don't know how the world twisted and turned in such a dark direction, but if I can't find light in the day, I'll create my damn own.” - Sheila Gonvable

#writing #oneliners #characterwriting #characters #author #books

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macgyvermedical · 5 years ago

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Let’s Jeff It: A “Kid + Plane + Cable + Truck” Medical Review

First, whoever thought of this episode naming convention did not expect this show to make it past season 3.

Previous MacGyver Medical Reviews:

Awl - X-Ray + Penny - Duct Tape + Jack - CD + Hoagie Foil - Guts + Fuel + Hope - Wilderness + Training + Survival - Father + Bride + Betrayal - Lidar + Rogues + Duty - Nightmares - Seeds + Permafrost + Feather - Friends + Enemies + Border - Mason + Cable + Choices - Bitter Harvest -

The episode centers around a pilot (Ben) and his son (Asher) flying in a private Cessna aircraft. The pilot has a medical emergency and becomes unconscious, leaving the plane, with 10 year old Asher inside, on autopilot and running out of fuel. Mac and Desi manage to board the plane in mid-air using an improvised zip-line, and while Desi attempts to land the plane before fuel runs out, Mac attempts to save Ben’s life by improvising a defibrillator. It’s found that the pilot had been deliberately poisoned with an unknown substance, and while investigating, Bozer is also exposed. Once the plane is safely on the ground, the episode cuts to the hospital scene where they have apparently found an antidote to the poison, and all is well.

Honestly this review will almost entirely be about the heart stuff.

Heart Stuff:

So let’s start with Ben. Our first encounter with his medical situation is when Desi asks Asher if Ben is breathing. Beyond questions about Asher’s safety (which they essentially already know), this is a great first question to ask. Breathing is fairly easy to determine, even for a 10 year old, and gives a substantial amount of information. From that one “yes” they know:

Airway: Even though he is sitting up with his head lolling forward, Ben’s airway is open- thus eliminating the immediate need for Asher to pull his father out of the chair.

Breathing: Ben is moving air between the outside and his lungs. Eliminating the need for Asher to help him with that.

Circulation: We can assume if Ben is breathing, his heart is still beating, which eliminates the need to start CPR immediately.

We don’t know the quality or anything else about his breathing or pulse, but we know they are currently at least minimally sustaining Ben’s life, which gives them some time.

Mac then asks Asher to check Ben’s pulse, instructing him “put your pointer finger and middle finger on the inside of your dad’s wrist, just below his thumb. If you don’t feel anything right away, try moving your fingers around a little bit.” This is exactly how to feel the radial pulse, and especially if Asher had ever learned how to feel a pulse before I think it would be reasonable that he could be able to do it.

At the point when Asher responds “I feel it... kinda”, he has his fingers on the other side of Ben’s wrist. And he may have, indeed, felt a pulse there. The inside of the wrist on the side of the pinky finger also has a feel-able pulse called the ulnar pulse. The ulnar pulse is more difficult to find and a little fainter, but it does exist.

The fact that Asher was able to find a radial or ulnar pulse means that Ben’s circulation is working pretty well- if blood is getting all the way to his wrist, we can assume it’s also getting to his heart, lungs, and brain. I’m not sure I would go so far as to use a 10-year-old’s assessment of “kinda” as an indication of a weak pulse, but for the purposes of the story, we’ll take it.

We also have a small amount of history from Asher that Ben was dizzy before passing out. Probably the most well known reason for a “weak pulse and dizziness”, as Russ concludes, is heart attack, but for a medical professional of any kind, that doesn’t narrow things down- heart attack, stroke, hypoglycemia, dehydration, severe allergic reaction, a hidden injury causing severe internal bleeding, a drug or poison, and many others possibilities could also present that way.

They could have gone a little more in depth with the history, asking Asher for information like whether his father had allergies, was on any medications, whether he had any medical problems like diabetes, and when they had last eaten/used the restroom, as well as any other symptoms his father had mentioned prior to passing out. All of these would have helped narrow down a diagnosis. But for a lay group of rescuers who need to stop a plane from falling out of the sky, all they really need to know is that Ben is unconscious but with ABC’s intact.

Also, shout out to Bozer for doing an AWESOME job at distracting Asher while Mac and Co put together the zipline. He didn’t promise anything he couldn’t deliver, saying “we’re gonna do everything we can” instead of “everything will be okay” when Asher asked. And he just kept the conversation going about things Asher liked that didn’t have to do with the situation. There are very few people who would be that comfortable talking to a kid under stress, and Bozer was really exceptional at it.

Once Mac and Desi get to the plane, Mac brings Ben to the back and is presumably assessing him while Desi, Bozer, Matty, and Russ discuss how and where to land. I wish we could have seen the assessment to have more to talk about, but once the story pans back to him, Mac explains that Ben’s pulse is “low, too low.” I’m not sure if he means low as in his heart rate (number of beats per minute) is low, or low as in weak, but the former makes more sense. Even though we know Ben is moving blood forcefully enough with each beat to get it to his brain, not having enough new blood per minute could still result in his unconsciousness.

Slow heart rate is called bradycardia, and there are a few “ways” to be bradycardic. One is called sinus bradycardia, and is essentially a totally normal, but less frequent, heart beat. Bradycardia can also result from atrial fibrillation, where the top section of the heart has a sort of disorganized, random pattern of beats that don’t all transmit to the lower part of the heart, resulting in only some of the beats going through and a pulse that is both slow and irregular. It can also happen when the part of the heart that determines heart rate, called the sinoatrial node, or SA node, isn’t working correctly.

The only one of these that could possibly be treated by defibrillation is the atrial fibrillation. SA node dysfunction would require a pacemaker or external pacer, and sinus bradycardia would require either atropine (of nerve agent antidote fame) or some form of pacing. Sinus brady is probably the only one that would really come from a poisoning situation (unless anyone else has a poison I’m not thinking of).

Here’s a video of atrial fibrillation getting shocked:

youtube

Because of the whole poisoning storyline, I think we have to assume that Ben has sinus bradycardia, which, if you will remember from the paragraph above, is one of the ones we can’t shock.

The way Mac explains defibrillation is as follows: “Human muscles contract and expand based on electrical signals from the nervous system. When those don’t work, we can trick a muscle, like the heart, into getting back into rhythm. That’s exactly what happens with a defibrillator.” And I’m not saying anyone couldn’t build a defibrillator with enough time and experience. But if that’s your understanding of how they work, any defibrillator you make is not one I want to try out.

See, the first sentence of that is almost correct. It’s, like, a 6th grade level of correct, but it’s technically correct. I’m just not at all sure where they got the second sentence, because that is not how anything works at all.

In reality, in order for the heart to beat, each individual heart muscle cell needs to contract in a specific sequence. This is coordinated by an electrical impulse that travels through the heart muscle tissue. When you see an EKG, this is a graphical representation of the path that impulse is taking through the heart.

If the “path” gets messed up, it results in a heart rhythm that may not be able to generate beats that support life.

Defibrillation essentially is passing a massive electrical current through the heart tissue, which overwhelms all electrical activity and causes it to stop momentarily. The hope is that the interruption will break or “convert” the ineffective impulses/paths, and the heart will resume in a normal rhythm. Since sinus brady is technically a correct rhythm (just with too long between beats), the best case scenario for defibrillation is that Ben comes back in exactly the same rhythm... which doesn’t do much for him and wastes time.

I would have been much happier and more impressed with the writers if Mac had instead brought over a Phoenix first aid kit, which would almost certainly have an atropine auto-injector for nerve agent poisonings. It’s still a MacGyverism because the drug would be meant to be used for nerve agent exposure, and it would have stood a much better chance of saving (while also not killing) Ben.

Since they never name the weird poison that has bradycardia, rash, and partial, temporary paralysis as effects, that works through transdermal exposure, and has a functioning antidote, I’m going to assume they made it up (they... didn’t have to. They could literally have done a beta blocker or calcium channel blocker overdose, they would have just had to change a few easy things omg...).

The Hospital Room:

I do kind of want to talk about that hospital room, because it’s certainly one of the best I’ve seen in MacGyver. The bed is a real hospital bed, the furniture looks like real hospital furniture, that’s a real IV pump and the tubing is set up correctly (though since the tubing is running through it and it’s on but not programmed (screen is blank) yet, it was probably beeping like heck the whole time they were trying to film), the lights are real and there are both red (generator backup) and white (grid power) electrical outlets in the room, there’s even a computer for charting immediately behind Mac and the sheets don’t fit the bed. Like, that’s a surprisingly real (though very uncluttered) hospital room. I’m actually pretty impressed by that.

A few notes on Season 4 so far:

I’ll say it- I personally disliked the fact that they put Mac and Desi together, then ended their relationship badly off screen. I love Desi as a character, and that move felt like it was designed to designate her as a source of trouble for the team instead of as an asset. I also disliked initially that they added Russ as a source of conflict, and deeply worried the writers were going to use him to push Matty out of the show (or at least, have her constantly fighting against him). I also worried that having the Phoenix taken over by a shady private entity who wants an amount of control over their operations would be shown in a positive, instead of conflicted light.

I’m honestly pretty glad this episode straightened some of those worries out. By the end, Mac and Desi were back on good terms, and Matty had asserted her control over the team in tactical decision making. I’m borderline confident that when public-private conflict is addressed from here on, it will be shown in a way the puts the correct weight on “should we worry about continuing to exist, or should we do what’s right?” and show genuine consequences to whatever choice they make. Like, I hope the writers know what they’re getting in to...

R E F E R E N C E S

#MacGyver #kid + plane + cable + truck #medical review #whump #heart #poison

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sparkles-rainbows-severed-heads · 5 years ago

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Nazi-Hating, Bisexual King, and German actor, Conrad Veidt (1893-1943) whose performances inspired the creation of Edward Scissorhands, Jafar from Aladdin, and The Joker, was a gem in real life. Be like Connie. Do it for him.

Here’s some information on how great he was:

https://aikainkauna.tumblr.com/post/41163268378/ten-reasons-why-you-should-love-conrad-veidt

“In honour of Conrad Veidt’s 120th birthday, let us present you with a list of reasons why you should love him. Because, let’s face it, he kicked more arse than you ever will. While wearing your great-grandmother’s dress.

1. He was an awesome actor who could hypnotise the screen in both the silents and the sounds. He could do amazing things with his body language, his eyes and his voice and move like an actual cat. Oh, and he was Method before it became popular. To the point where his friends and colleagues would get worried because his entire body language and way of speaking would change. He genuinely believed he was possessed by some greater spirit when he was acting. And it shows. 2. He was an amazing human being—everybody loved working with him because he was incredibly polite and jovial and charming, but he was even more amazing off the screen. Let us tell you why.

3. This guy starred in the first gay rights movie ever and played the first explicitly-referred-to-as-gay character on screen, and the first sympathetic gay character on screen. In a movie that said it was okay to be gay and that some people were just born that way. In 1919. The makers of the film and Connie himself were flooded with death threats from the far right. They would arrange riots in theatres and release gas and rabid rodents into the aisles. But the makers of the film stood their ground. Later, the Nazis tried to burn all copies of the film but over half of it still survives and a reconstruction can be seen here.

4. Oh yeah, and this guy also starred in an early pro-choice film, had a high opinion on women (with some progressive views for his time, when the right to vote and to wear trousers were still seen as new and scandalous things) and was a fierce campaigner for human rights and a vehement anti-Nazi for his entire life. Speaking of which…

5. In the Thirties, he starred in two British movies sympathetic to the plight of the Jews. While still a German citizen. Hitler sent him personal hate mail, Goebbels tried to persuade him into doing propaganda films for the Nazis instead and he told them to go stuff themselves. This was after some of his Jewish and gay friends had already been killed by the Nazis, too, so he knew exactly the sort of danger he was in. Oh, and they imprisoned him and tortured him with sleep deprivation and put him on the Gestapo hitlist. Guess what? He didn’t budge. He never raised his hand in the Heil Hitler salute, once. And when, finally, the British authorities helped him escape to England, he never went back to Germany again. Also? Despite being Protestant, he identified himself as Jewish on official forms as a form of protest. In. Nazi. Germany. I’m sorry, but Conrad Veidt’s balls»»»>yours.

6. He spent a huge amount of money supporting the British war effort and personally smuggled people out of the hands of the Nazis. Including driving his third wife’s Jewish parents out to Switzerland in his car under the cover of night after much bribery and passport shenanigans. In the Forties, he participated in a fund helping fellow Europeans escape Nazis and settle in the UK and the US. One of the people he helped was his Casablanca co-star, Paul Henreid. By the time Henreid had reached the UK, the war was in full swing and he was treated as an enemy alien. Connie (who had managed to acquire British citizenship just before war broke out) personally rang the British authorities and vouched for him until Henreid could finally cross the Atlantic to safety (with some monetary assistance from Connie himself). So, kids, when you watch Major Strasser menacing Laszlo in Casablanca, remember this guy actually helped him escape the Nazis in real life.

7. While living in London in the late Thirties, he and his wife would regularly shelter war children at their house. When the air raid sirens came on, he’d rather run back home to be with the kids rather than stay safe at the studio’s bomb shelter. No, really. And even when he’d left for Hollywood in the 40s, he would do stuff like this for the poor kids of London huddled in bomb shelters. You might need tissues.

8. He was made of actual sex on and off the screen. He possessed an amazing, androgynous sexual aura that would take no prisoners. He could be feminine without being effeminate, seductive and possessing and powerful without being gruff or macho, incredibly catlike and soft without being weak. Despite being skinny as hell and 6’3” tall, he was as graceful as a dancer, gliding around so smoothly it was uncanny, slightly unnatural (when Disney were making Aladdin, they deliberately based the cartoon Jafar on his performance in The Thief of Bagdad and told the animators to make him glide like Connie did. Yeah, that’s right, Disney villains were based on him. No wonder. No, really, look at that). From the Thirties onwards, he was repeatedly described as pantherlike. He had a sensuous, cruel mouth (always a little more red and open and wet than it should have been in order to be decent), large, pale blue piercing eyes (oh yeah, he was well-read in hypnotism and occultism, so he is actually hypnotising and possessing you for real), finely manicured fingernails (sometimes filed into sharp points) and a voice to melt knickers off anyone within a five-mile radius. When he smoked, it looked like he was giving oral sex to a woman and a man at the same time. Watch A Woman’s Face, The Thief of Bagdad and Dark Journey for good examples of this amazing man’s slinking, slithering, purring charm.

9. Oh yeah, speaking of the off-screen sex… Merle Oberon said “he would have sex with a butterfly”, Anita Loos quipped “the prettiest girl on the [Berlin] street was Conrad Veidt” and he was a major gay icon in 1920s Germany thanks to the aforementioned gay rights movie and his androgynous looks and style. Let us remember this guy spent his youth in Weimar Berlin and its cabarets, a modern Babylon where “anything goes” was an understatement. Drugs, wild parties and sexual diversions of every sort imaginable were the done thing in those days. You were considered unfashionable if you didn’t dress in drag and experiment with bisexuality. In that, he was hardly different from his peers (like, for example, his good friend Marlene Dietrich). But then again… there were people who experimented and there were people for whom it was all a phase, but according to numerous sources, he was a natural, voracious bisexual and so in love with everything feminine he genuinely loved to dress as a lady. And apparently he would fall in love all the time, so the Twenties were… busy years for him, especially when his second marriage had started to fall apart. Just don’t ask what he did to Olivier. And according to a couple of sources, Gary Cooper. Oh, and his first wife left him after she found him wearing her dress (her loss). Most of the time, his friends would describe him as a ladies’ man during the day, and going after the men as well after he’d had a few drinks in the evening. He seems to have calmed down a lot in the Thirties after he found genuine happiness with his third wife and escaped the Nazis to the UK, but apparently he was still an incorrigible flirt with both sexes until the end of his life. If you think he looks seductive and deliciously perverse on screen, that’s all real and then some. So, yep, this was a guy who was a genuine saint and an amazing human being and a naughty, naughty man at the same time. How often do you hear of both sides coexisting in the same person?

10. He was, basically, the last lingering sigh of Romanticism as a genuine cultural movement. On screen, he played the Gothic, Byronic hero to the hilt (The Student of Prague being one of the greatest examples of the type). In the silents, he played degenerate dandies, tortured painters and pianists and violinists, cruel yet seductive tyrants, men haunted by their doppelgängers, possessed creatures wanting to crawl out of their own bodies, sleepwalking and twitching and writhing on the screen, turning everything into a dark, exquisite ballet. In the sound films, he turned that demonic energy outwards and would pin people down with his gaze as he cursed them, would undress women with a flick of his pitch-black lashes, would curl his long fingers around their arms in a sadomasochistic, erotic stranglehold. He never completely lost his accent, but he compensated for it with pitch-perfect softness and tone, speaking very slowly and quietly when everybody else would speak loud and fast. His voice in The Thief of Bagdad was compared to poisoned honey. The MGM bosses were surprised at the mountains of fanmail he received from women in the Forties, even if they had never given him a starring role, only supporting, villainous ones. And the ladies wanted this villain, oh yes. A woman moviegoer (presumably after seeing his performance in A Woman’s Face) described him thus: “Conrad Veidt has wicked eyes, a sinister mouth, strange hands and a half-man/half- woman quality about him. His walk is frightening. There is something not quite normal about him. And yet, he was totally fascinating, charming and appealing to me at the same time!”

So, there you have it. There are many more reasons to love him, but it would take forever to try and list all of them. I suggest you watch his movies and read up on him yourself, because he deserves to live forever.”

#conrad veidt #do it for him #do it for her #the cabinet of doctor caligari #the cabinet of dr. caligari #the man who laughs #gwynplaine #casablanca #the hands of orlac

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