#but people forget there is a very very very blurry line when work and love get together

[bean-spring]

Mel haters are so funny to me because they quite literally have nothing to say against her besides "nooo she used Jayce for hextech!!" well, it's what happens when that's your fucking job

[urprettylittlething]

What happens when Cursed Kitty starts bugging Gojo and Gets to let her leave outside? Do they punish her or do they just give in?

-🥟

Thank you so much for this request, I'm sorry it’s taken so long for me to get to it but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :’) I tried my best with writing this <33

The Lesson For Never Leaving

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Yandere - Gojo Satoru x CursedKitty! Reader x Geto Suguru

A/N - I am so so happy to be back, I really hope you all enjoy the content that's to come, and a massive thank you to everyone that's sent in an ask, you've all been so patient with me I love you all so much <333 The poll has voted that these be posted daily so that is what I will be doing :3 Feel free to leave comments either on the post or my inbox, it's really motivating to hear people loving my work <333 I love you all thank you so much <3 and please let me know if I've missed any warnings or spellings, etc. :)

summary - Frustrated and brushed aside, all Kitty wanted to do was go outside.

warnings - Yandere-ness from both of our boys, Spanking, Kitty gets held down, Crying, Kind of harsh, Kitty doesn't really understand what's going on :(, Kinda bratty but she's frustrated and doesn't know how to convey that well, punishment

genre - Oneshot

word count - 1.4k

~spelling and grammar checked~

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The very first time Kitty asks, the both of them would try and distract her instead. Never really answering her question and trying to occupy her with other things in the hopes that she’ll forget about it. 

The next few times when she asks, she bugs them with whiney tugs on their shirts with mumbles of “Outside?”, all wide eyed and pouty lips. They just end up sighing and telling her something along the lines of, “No, you can’t go outside baby. Do you know how dangerous it is out there?” 

And that works for a little while, but the next time she asks and they tell her no, she gets even more pouty, her brows furrowing before she tries asking again. So in return they get just a little bit firmer with their ‘no’s’ and she droops away while sulking.

So when the next time she asks, doing it with a very firm “Outside!” followed along by a stamp with her little foot, they don’t just tell her ‘no’ anymore. Her harshly furrowed brows and downturned lips gently ease themselves from the angered look and instead start to merge into one of vague terror. Suguru and Satoru have taken it upon themselves to start telling her the ‘tales of horror’ they’ve encountered and witnessed from being outside for too long. 

Making sure to add what would happen to a ‘pretty little innocent kitty’ like herself, getting snatched up and stolen away forever.

All of those stories are enough to scare her away for a good few weeks after the two of them got detailed enough to get her lips wobbling and eyes all blurry with tears while her ears drooped and her tail curled in on itself. They told her it was a bad idea, what they’ve been saying all along and how they wished they didn’t need to tell her this much to get her to listen. Doing it all with exaggerated voices so she’d feel guilty enough that she didn’t listen to them in the first place. Opening up their arms to her while she dived into them, mumbling small ‘sorry’s and ‘I stay’s.

So the next time she asks, they decide that it’s time they should lay it on a little heavier if they really want to get the message through to her about never leaving. It also didn’t help that her attitude for asking has gotten more demanding than anything else.

She’s stubborn when they tell her ‘no’ this time. Stamping her foot repeatedly while nearly shouting “Outside!!”. They try doing their little manipulating tactic again, trying the story about the big bad dangers of going outside but she’s hearing none of it. Cutting off their gentle, if not a little strained, voices with a stern “No!” and just repeating what she had previously been saying.

So the two men share a look. Silent conversation being exchanged between just the two of them while Kitty looks on in confusion and frustration. One of them raises his eyebrow and the other shakes his head, looking a little dejected all the while. 

Of course seeing this from the side-lines and not following along with their little private chat at all, Kitty is taking this as another no. 

Her body is shaking and her tail is puffing up in distress because they’re not listening to her and now they’re ignoring her! 

Her eyes welled up with frustrated tears and a few dribbled down her cheeks, her fists clenched at her sides as she all but yelled, “Hate you!”. The two opposite her froze in shock while she continued her spiel. “Hate! Want outside! I hate!” 

They’re stunned into silence, frozen in disbelief and almost outraged because how dare she. All they are doing is trying to keep her safe, they take care of her, feed her, bathe her, love her. And she hates them? 

Their eyes become almost lax, losing the little spark of light that one would normally see. Overcast and dark is how they’re portrayed. Knuckles white and strained from where they’re clutching at different parts of the kitchen counter, where they’d all been during this entire exchange. 

Kitty begins losing her flare little by little until it's practically erased like it had never existed in the first place. Except it had, because the two in front of her are the direct result of her harsh words. And they’re scaring her. Brooding and menacing and she’s shaking where she stands. Tail drooping and curling around her lower leg, ears flattened and eyes big and rounded. Tears no longer falling but instead are caught up in her lashes.

It’s only when one murmurs something along the lines of a punishment, the other agreeing, does she try to turn tail and run. But Satoru had already caught her before she even really began running. He half drags, half carries her down the hall and to their main bedroom. Setting her down face first into the fluffed up sheets, sitting down next to her while keeping her arms restrained snug behind her back. 

Her tail had curled around her waist during the travel and her ears remained flat against her head, small whimpers and the occasional ruffle of fabric as she shifted around were all to be heard in the room. Satoru remains silent by her side, Suguru’s socked feet thudding delicately along the floor as one of her ears twitches slightly in reaction. 

A small whimper is all that's heard when Suguru comes to a stop behind her, flipping up the long baggy shirt Satoru had put on her this morning, revealing her pastel pink lace panties. One of the things they had decided when dressing her for the first time was forgoing any bottoms, they would just be an inconvenience anyway.

It’s when both of them start to speak, one after the other, words of how “This is your punishment.”, “You’re going to learn how to speak nicely.”, “You’ve been a bad kitty.” that makes her bottom lip tremble. Tears welling up in her pretty glazed eyes.

It’s the first hard smack against her pink panty clad cheek that causes her to wail. Big salty tears finally spilled over her waterline and down her cheeks. She starts to squirm when they don’t stop. Harsher and harsher they get. She knows it’s Suguru doing it because Satoru is the one that’s holding her down.

In all honesty she’s struggling to make out what is truly happening. The pain is spreading over each cheek the more Suguru spanks her as she wails and cries. 

A few harsh spanks later and the worst one comes next, a loud cracking smack right over a tender spot on her ass cheek and she shrieks. Openly sobbing and blubbering. She’s wounded and confused, scared and wanting comfort.

This is where Satoru speaks up, curled around her upper half to stop her from escaping her torment. 

He’s saying something along the lines of ‘only trying to help her understand, “we just don’t want to see you get hurt”, “how many curse users and sorcerers would slaughter her without a second thought”. 

All of this combined just makes her sob even harder. Each stuttering inhale and choked out wail, drowning in the mess her face is in of snot and drool and tears. Every smack hurts and every word is less and less comforting. She doesn’t like this. She hates this.

Sobbing and trembling, ears flattened atop her head in her distress while her tail is curled so tight around her waist the muscles strain. 

Suguru delivers the last few slaps against her bruised and blushing red ass before he stops. The only thing heard in the room is the heavy breathing behind Kitty, her crying and Gojo's words of ‘comfort’. 

Eventually after a few minutes to gather their composure they roll Kitty over. Yes, it does hurt them a little to see her cower away from both of them, trying to curl into herself and hide while she sobs from everything inflicted on her these past minutes. 

It’s Suguru that picks her up gently, Satoru leaving to start a hot bath in the other room while Suguru stays on the bed with Kitty. Nestling her into his chest, too exhausted to resist, she buries herself into the side of his neck. Making sure to keep her rear end from touching anything, he stays with her. Kneading her curled in ears gently and making small shushing noises.

Rocking her gently side to side as one hand trails delicate patterns up and down her back. He waits for Gojo to finish the bath, so they can both give Kitty the comfort she deserves. All while reminding her this is what happens when she fights back. And how a lot worse would befall her should she ever dare leave. 

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[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 17

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 36k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |

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Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.

Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.

The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.

And it was no different this time around.

It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.

Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.

Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.

The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.

Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.

The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

And that same thing happened every single day.

On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.

Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.

Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.

There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.

"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.

She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.

After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.

Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.

Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.

Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"

When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.

It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.

Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.

They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"

"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.

"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"

"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.

The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."

"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.

The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.

It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.

He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.

Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.

The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.

"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.

"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.

God had he fucking missed her.

"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.

Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."

They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.

"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.

He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.

"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.

Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.

Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."

He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.

Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."

"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.

"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.

Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."

But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."

Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.

Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.

Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"

Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."

Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."

She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"

"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"

"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.

Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."

It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."

Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.

With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.

However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.

Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.

Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.

Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.

"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.

"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."

Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.

Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.

Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.

"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."

His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.

"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"

Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.

"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."

Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.

"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"

Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."

She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."

The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.

She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.

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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.

It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.

Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.

They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.

Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.

"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.

The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.

Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.

Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.

If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.

"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.

But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."

Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.

She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.

"Got a house in Los Angeles."

He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.

After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.

All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.

"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.

Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.

He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."

"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.

"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."

Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.

He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."

Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"

"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.

"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"

She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.

"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.

"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."

"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.

Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.

It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.

She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.

She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.

Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.

Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.

Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."

And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.

Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.

She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.

When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.

There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.

A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.

"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.

"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.

Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"

Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.

Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."

Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."

In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.

"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.

Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.

Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."

Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.

Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.

She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.

When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.

There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.

After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.

But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.

She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.

The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.

Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.

It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"

He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"

Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.

The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.

She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."

Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."

She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.

After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.

Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.

Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.

The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.

So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.

Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.

The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."

When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.

Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.

The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.

She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.

It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.

'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.

Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.

She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.

A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.

"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.

She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.

Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.

He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.

When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.

They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.

They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.

Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.

Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.

However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.

It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.

They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.

A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.

With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.

Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.

The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.

It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.

Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.

Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.

She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.

It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.

But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.

And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.

This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.

It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.

Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.

Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.

"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.

Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"

He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."

She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."

A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.

She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.

And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.

When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.

Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."

Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."

And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.

But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.

Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?

All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.

"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.

"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.

Coward.

Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."

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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.

As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.

There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.

It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.

The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.

Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."

Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."

They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.

Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.

Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.

After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.

The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.

When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.

"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.

She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.

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"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."

The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"

There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.

She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."

Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."

Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.

"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.

"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"

Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."

She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.

Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."

Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.

The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.

His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.

Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.

It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.

Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.

The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.

Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.

Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.

Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.

As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."

At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."

The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.

Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.

So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.

"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.

Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.

She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"

When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.

Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.

"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"

Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."

"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.

Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."

Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."

"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."

"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."

Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"

Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.

Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.

"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.

With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.

Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.

Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.

They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.

It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.

A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."

"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.

Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."

That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.

The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.

Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.

The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.

"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."

"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.

Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."

The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.

There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.

A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.

Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.

The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.

Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.

The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.

When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"

He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."

"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.

"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.

"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."

She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.

Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."

"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."

Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.

Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.

So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.

The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.

Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.

It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.

"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.

"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"

The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."

"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."

Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"

Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."

Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.

"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"

"No." Matt shook his head straight away.

"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."

When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."

She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.

"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.

They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.

Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.

She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."

Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.

"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.

Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."

Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.

"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.

Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.

Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.

Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."

But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."

"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.

And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."

"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.

"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."

"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.

Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.

"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.

Alex nodded again, "Yes!"

"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.

Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.

"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"

Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.

He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.

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After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.

Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.

The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.

Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.

Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.

"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.

He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."

Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."

Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.

She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.

Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."

"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.

She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."

Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.

The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.

Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.

A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.

Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.

But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.

(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!

Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.

"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."

Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."

When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.

It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.

For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.

What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.

The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.

"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"

Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."

Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."

"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."

The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."

The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."

Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"

It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.

"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.

Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."

"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.

"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."

Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.

Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.

When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.

Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.

After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.

"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."

Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.

Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."

The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.

When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.

Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.

This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.

When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.

It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.

Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.

Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"

"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.

Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."

But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."

"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.

It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.

Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"

Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.

Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.

Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"

"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.

"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.

"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."

That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.

Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".

The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.

"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.

Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."

"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"

Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"

Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."

Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."

"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.

Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."

What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.

"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"

Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."

But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."

The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.

"Where?" The group asked in chorus.

"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."

Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."

Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."

One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.

Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."

All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.

Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.

While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.

She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"

"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.

Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."

But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"

She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."

His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."

"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.

He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."

She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."

The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.

"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."

"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.

Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.

She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."

"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.

Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."

It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"

"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.

With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.

Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.

Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."

Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"

But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.

The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.

A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.

Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."

The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.

Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.

When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."

It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.

Tonight is promising.

Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."

But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.

Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."

Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."

Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.

There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.

The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.

That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.

She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.

There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.

And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.

His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.

Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.

She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.

His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"

With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.

Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.

Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.

"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.

But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.

The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.

At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.

Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.

Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.

The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.

A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.

Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.

Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.

Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.

And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."

The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.

It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.

"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.

Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."

Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.

The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.

Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.

His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.

Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.

Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.

She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.

In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.

Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.

And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.

As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.

She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.

It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.

Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.

Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.

And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.

Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.

Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.

Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.

She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.

But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.

He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.

"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."

With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.

Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.

She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.

"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.

This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.

"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.

But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.

He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.

Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.

Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.

To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.

"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."

Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.

The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.

She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."

Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.

Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.

Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."

His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.

"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.

Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.

In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.

The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.

The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.

At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.

Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.

Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."

The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.

Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.

"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.

Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"

Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"

It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."

"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.

Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."

When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."

"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.

She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.

"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.

But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.

To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"

With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."

"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."

Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.

Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.

This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.

He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.

Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.

About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.

She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.

For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.

She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.

Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.

They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.

When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.

Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"

But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.

The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.

In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.

Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.

Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.

So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.

Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.

She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.

Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"

The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.

"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."

He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.

She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.

"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."

"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.

As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.

A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.

Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.

"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.

But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."

Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.

There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.

She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.

It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.

So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.

Just one thing.

His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.

He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.

It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.

And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.

She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.

But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"

Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.

When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.

She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.

In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.

A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.

Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.

Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.

But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.

Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."

He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.

"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.

Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.

Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.

She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.

Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.

Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.

The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.

It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.

Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.

He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.

Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."

Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.

"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.

"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."

Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.

All he could properly do was kiss her.

The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.

It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.

She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.

Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.

"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.

Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.

Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."

Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."

The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.

Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."

She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."

He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."

It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.

One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.

"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.

She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."

"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.

But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.

Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.

He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.

Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.

Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.

All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.

They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.

Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.

She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.

His. She was already completely his.

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Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.

She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.

After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.

It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.

That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.

All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.

Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"

The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.

She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"

It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."

Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"

A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."

There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."

The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."

"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"

Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.

"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."

Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"

"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"

The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.

Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."

Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."

Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"

"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.

Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."

It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."

Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"

The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.

"He told us this morning."

"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.

Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"

"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."

A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."

"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.

"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.

And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"

The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.

Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."

She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.

"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.

Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"

Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."

"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.

"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.

It'll be alright, it'll all work out.

Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.

Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.

It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.

Fuck.

She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.

That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.

Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.

She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.

Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.

She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.

So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.

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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx

Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.

Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.

Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.

But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.

It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.

Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.

"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.

Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"

They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.

"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."

Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.

They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.

"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."

Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."

Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."

"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.

It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."

Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"

Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."

Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."

Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.

"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.

Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."

After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.

With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.

(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx

She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.

She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.

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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.

She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.

Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.

She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.

As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.

She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.

But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.

Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.

She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.

Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.

It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.

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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.

When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.

(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx

Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.

She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.

So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.

She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.

But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.

She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.

Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.

She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.

The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."

"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.

"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.

Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."

"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."

This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."

But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"

Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."

But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"

When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.

"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.

Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."

"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.

Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.

Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.

"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.

Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"

"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"

No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."

She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.

"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.

Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."

"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"

"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."

"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.

A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."

Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."

"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.

"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.

The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.

"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.

Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."

"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."

Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."

"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"

"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.

From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.

Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."

"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.

Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."

Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.

"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.

The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.

And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[hanlimz]

[midnight thoughts: park jongseong + end of beginning]

rando posting on a thursday night bc this has been in my drafts 4ever. no summary you die like men. maybe i'll write a part 2. maybe.

whether the guitar is a meager subject bending to his will or an extension of his very own body, you are unable to decide. enveloped by the dim lighting and clouds of cigarette smoke, the black stained alder wood manages to melt into the obsidian of his leather jacket. the angularity of his face cuts through the darkness; the length of his nose is perfectly straight, the slant of his jaw is sharp enough to cut, and his eyebrows are two, thick lines of focus. he plays with so much precision that it almost makes you overlook the way he still purses his lips when he's concentrating—a habit he was never able to shake. it transports you back to a simpler time in which he wasn't a rockstar. instead, he was a college student studying business management who had a silly band on the side. he was a college student who never planned to make it big, who never planned to leave.

a break in the set forces you from the depths of your memories. he is almost unrecognizable as he works the crowd; a sea of people at this intimate show are screaming for him, begging for his attention, and you can't help but laugh to yourself. years ago, he used to play for you. with a timeworn guitar and a handful of hope, he shared his musings of the future. they were long-shots, pipe dreams, fantasies he entertained when his assignments proved too difficult and his imagination too wild. his voice was sultry as the nimble tips of his fingers waltzed over the fretboard; the melodies he created were happier than the ones he sings now. his stories chronicled a life with you, but now they're bittersweet—tales of olde, reminders of the past.

the show is coming to a close; the throngs of listeners are beginning to thin out. minute by minute, there are less bodies to hide behind, less background to blend into—but, you can't seem to make yourself leave. there's a part of you that wants to be seen, to be noticed by him once more. turning to the bartender, you order an elixir to forget. before you can take the first sip into oblivion, however, a shadow sits down next to you. he smells familiar—amber, sandalwood, a dark thicket. he orders a whiskey sour, and it reminds you of the first time you met. like an aged souvenir, you hold the memory delicately in the palms of your hands.

"what does it feel like, hm?" there's a momentary pause, then you hum into the thick, musky air, "to be a star?"

he takes in a labor-ridden breath. when he lets it out, it seems like more than air escapes him; the heavy exhale is almost painful as he ponders the question. a minute passes, and the quiet is stifling. "it feels good, at first. everything you want, anytime you want. but, it becomes hollow after a while—all the drinks, all the blurry faces, all the memories melting together," he admits. "it's like i'm floating, y'know ... aimless, in space, millions of miles away."

"is it lonely up there?" you ask.

"most of the time, yeah," he answers, stopping for a few seconds to think. "but, it's what i wished for. it's what i wanted."

glancing over at him out of the corner of your eye, you see he's still nursing his drink. the fingers of his left hand trace circles around the rim of the glass while he itches at his wrist with his right. the blonde streaks in his hair are tousled with a mixture of gel and sweat, and the darker parts fall forward to shield his gaze from yours. remnants of the boy you used to know, used to love are resurfacing from the deep recesses of your mind—where you had kept them hidden for years.

"you're still a terrible liar," you say.

his body tenses at the comment. as his muscles remain rigid, he scoffs, disbelieving and defensive, "what do you even know about me, anymore?"

"nothing, really ..." behind your blasé facade, there's a particular ache. his words cut you, a serrated blade shoved between the gaps of your ribs; it hurts because you know he's right. he is no longer yours to know, no longer yours to love. soon, you fear that he may not even be yours to remember—disintegrating, falling, lost to the sands of time. "i knew who you were, though. kind and gentle, the guy who would buy me flowers for no reason. every day, you would call me to tell me you loved me. you would cook dinner, light candles, wash my hair ..."

it grows quiet again; the only sounds filling the air are a symphony of closing ambience. dishes are clattering, glasses are clinking, and chairs are scratching against the floor. this time, however, the silence is not deafening. in a way, it is almost familiar—reminiscent of spring nights spent in the diner close to campus, faces full of pancakes and hearts full of joy. but, this quietude—while being peaceful—also breeds cruelty.

"i'm sorry," his voice pierces through the wisps of smoke and the faint scent of burning incense off in the distance. he leaves the rest unspoken—for leaving, for not saying goodbye, for not giving you an answer. but, you hear it. in spite of it all, you hear it. the words don't penetrate the toughened shell around your heart; instead, they echo in your mind. everything you wanted but nothing you needed.

you hesitate, "i don't know if i can believe you."

"why did you come then?" he asks, voice solemn.

pins and needles prick at the skin of your cheeks as the question makes the tips of your fingers go cold. it's almost unreal. he shouldn’t have the right to question you like this, to interrogate you like you’re the criminal—like you’re the one who left. his words make slow work of you like a bullet to the stomach. as you pour out everything for him, you come to the bitter realization that it ended this way all those years ago. it would always end this way. you, dead on the floor; him, gun in hand. “i wanted to see for myself, i guess—” you spit, “if it was all worth it.”

turning towards him, you break down the wall that time and distance had erected between the two of you. there's a ferocity that shines in your eyes; it makes them glow with a certain conviction. he avoids your pointed stare, instead choosing to swirl his watered down drink. only now do you allow yourself to take a closer look at him. his skin is pallid, a ghost of the deep, tawny beige you used to run your fingers along; the dark circles under his eyes accompany sunken cheeks and slumped shoulders. fatigue seeps down to his very being, and this life the has managed to sap the life from his veins.

"was it worth it, jongseong?"

hearing his name fall from your lips seems to send a bolt of pure lightning down the length of his spine. no one has called him that in years; the thought makes you wonder who else he left behind. the corners of his eyes crinkle as he shuts them tight, trying to be anywhere but squirming under the weight of your gaze. after a few moments, he shakes his head. it starts slowly, a gentle back and forth movement before it becomes violent and erratic. when he stops, the man finally connects with you.

his rich, umber eyes are the one of the only things you still recognize. behind the severity of his face, there is a softness dancing within them; at his waterline, tears twinkle like diamonds under a jeweler's light. jay has never cried, never felt the touch of someone who loves him for who he is—but, jongseong? jongseong misses that feeling. the freedom of being loved unconditionally, the all-encompassing warmth of not just being seen but being known.

"it wasn't worth you."

[allylikethecat]

ally!! i saw the prompt list you reposted and whilst there were MULTIPLE that had me a little squealy thinking about fictional matty and george I think my FAVE would have to be the ‘have you eaten today’!!!

would love to see your take on this, as in my mind fictional matty is not very good at taking care of himself ESPECIALLY when stressed and sometimes fictional george has to step in to make sure he doesn’t like die of starvation and/or sleep deprivation lol.

(also i am anon #4 who would love a nashville fic lol and since I have recently become enamoured with everything you are writing in the george/matty tag i was wondering if I could start signing my asks with a ‘💌’ so you are aware of how much i fully appreciate your glorious fics lol))

Hi! Newly christened Letter 💌 Anon, 

(Side note - it blows my mind people care about this little blog and my writing enough to want to claim emojis so thank you so much to anyone that has - I may not have done the best job of keeping track of what has been claimed because I was so shocked anything had been claimed lol but if anyone else wants one let me know I have a list now! It’s fun!) 

It’s so nice to hear from the Nashville Fic Anon #4 (and to have an official emoji to refer to you with!) The Nashville Fic group is up to FIVE now which means if we went to a restaurant we would need a RESERVATION wild stuff! 

Thank you so much for sending in this prompt! It made me smile super hard so I went out of order and decided to jump it to the top of the list - sorry not sorry! 

I hope this is what you were looking for - if not let me know and I can write something else! Regardless, let me know what you think! 

If anyone else wants to send in a ways of subtley showing love prompt the list can be found here! 

Thank you so much for reading and for sending in this prompt! I’m so happy to hear that you’ve been enjoying my work, I know it’s not for everyone and is very heavy on the angst but the fact that it’s bringing (hopefully) joy to even one or two people makes me so incredibly happy! 🥰

❤️Ally

"Have you eaten today?"

“Hey,” said George softly, causing Matty to look up sharply. His hood slipped off his curls as he tilted his head back, his blurry eyes wide and surprised, glancing around frantically, worried that he had missed the call to board and that the plane was going to leave without him. 

“Have you eaten today?” He asked, frowning at the dark circles under Matty’s sunken eyes illuminated by the glow of his laptop screen.

“Wha?” Matty asked, tugging his headphones off, letting them hang around his neck. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to refocus his vision on George, swallowing a yawn as he did so. He shut his laptop and shoved it into his backpack that was sitting half open at his side, they had to be boarding soon and he didn’t want to forget it (again). 

“I got you a sandwich,” George said, holding up the take away bag, “and a coke, and it made me realize, have you eaten today?”

Matty froze, trying to remember. They had flown in late the night before, and Matty’s head had barely hit the pillow before he was bombarded with calls from his lawyer, and their newly hired PR agency to discuss The Incident as they were referring to it. 

He had spent nearly all night on the bathroom floor, hunched over his laptop, whispering on the phone as to not wake George, as he tried to navigate the storm pulling him in multiple directions. As if George could sleep without the warm weight of Matty pressed against his side, drawn to him like a magnet or a moth to the flame, his own personal weighted blanket. He wasn’t taking care of himself, letting himself be tossed each and every way, his body battered as it beat against the shore line while he gave a bloody smile and assurances that it was fine, everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine,  Matty wasn’t fine. He was spreading himself too thin, his edges frayed and damaged, a salt stained rope threatening to snap. Offering himself up as a punching bag, taking the hits without complaint as if he could spare the rest of them the anguish. 

He had already been up when George awoke, fluttering around the hotel room in a tornado of limbs now that he didn’t have to try and be quiet, fielding calls from lawyers, from PR, from the media and from Jamie. He did it without complaint, giving a sad smile when he said he was okay, that he was figuring it out. That he was sorry to have caused such a commotion, to have made such a mess as if he had been alone in his actions, alone in his views. 

Matty had missed breakfast, pacing the length of the hotel parking lot while he spoke on the phone, a cigarette dangling between two fingers as he chainsmoked through the tense exchanging of words. Then they had taken the van to the venue, completed sound check, and Matty had found a quiet corner to take a zoom call with Brad about set design for the upcoming tour. They performed, the crowd lively even if Matty himself was more subdued. He had showered at the venue before being bundled back into the van, and was now sitting on the floor of the airport lounge, their late night flight out delayed due to a mechanical issue and the complimentary buffet already closed for the evening.  

His stomach grumbled and he reached up, accepting the take away bag and the bottle of coke. He couldn’t imagine that he had gone all day without eating, but he also couldn’t remember a moment where he had. He had started to unwrap a crushed Poptart he had found at the bottom of his backpack, but he couldn’t remember eating it, having been pulled into a debrief about venue security and how it was imperative that he did not make his way into the crowd that night. He had obliged without complaint, he couldn’t imagine all of the hands on him, touching him, pulling at him when he already felt like he was a breath away from breaking. He’s pretty sure he had sat the Poptart down on a table, and when he returned it was gone.  

“Thanks,” he said, pulling the sandwich out of the bag and unwrapping it from the paper, smiling when he saw ham and swiss, his go to comfort food when he was feeling overwhelmed. There was a bag of salt and vinegar crisps in there as well and he tore into the plastic eagerly, surprising even himself with how hungry he was as he scarfed them down as if someone was waiting to take them away from him. He hadn’t realized how truly hungry he was until he had started eating.

“Don’t choke,” said George fondly, dropping his large body onto the ground next to Matty on the floor, wincing at the way his knee cracked on the way down. Turning thirty had been the worst thing he ever did. 

“I won’t,” said Matty after he swallowed a bite of his sandwich, before taking a swig of coke, the carbonation stinging in his chest from drinking it too quickly causing him to hiccup painfully. 

“I love you,” said George fervently, wrapping his arm around Matty’s shoulders and tugging him into his side, Matty went easily, scooting across the rough fabric carpet to lean into George’s comforting warmth, still clinging to his sandwich, stomach jumping as he hiccuped again. Guilt stirring in George’s belly, he wished he could take the haunted look out of Matty’s eyes, he wished he could give him twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep. Matty squeezed George’s knee and took another bite of his sandwich. George wished he had realized that Matty hadn’t eaten sooner. 

“I love you too,” said Matty, resting his head on George’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he said, opening his eyes again to look at the sandwich, overcome with exhaustion and emotion.

“Always,” said George, it was the least he could do. 

[ehcahache]

I'm bored and I've almost finished planning this fic so I'm sharing what was the initial summary of it

(I'll probably take me like a whole year to write the whole fic so I hope y'all don't like it too much, cuz y'all won't have it soon lol)

(Y'all can ask about it tho!!)

People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but Lando did know.

Lando was happy living in his privileged life. He was second in line for the throne of Thalphor, behind his brother Charles, his best friend (and crush) was his brother's bodyguard and they spent most of the days together, his father loved them both and even if his magic hadn't manifested fully yet, it was clear he wouldn't need to wait much for it to do.

Even if he still had to attend the same classes his brother did or other responsibilities, he was happy his were lighter and easier, making him be more free than his brother, even if his own bodyguard Oscar was always behind him. He really couldn't and wouldn't complain about his life.

Yes, their mother had died while giving birth to him but their little family was still happy, or so he thought.

On the 13th November 178xx, his 19th birthday, he discovered both Charles and Carlos had run away. He was left very confused and when he showed the handwritten letter to his father he was left confused and alone, his father locking himself indise his room.

Their castle was silent for a week, only being broken when chaos entered the scene. A raid started on their capital city, where their castle was situated.

Lando doesn't remember much from that day, just the most important things.

The raiders were occultists, social rejects from everywhere that only followed one rule: chaos is everywhere they went. They were killing and stealing everything they could from them. Usually, occultists weren't a difficulty, even the typical non-trained villager could beat them if they organized correctly, but Thalphor military forces were in a crisis. Without one of their heads and their king, their usual strong forces were useless.

Lando didn't know how to fight nor had any magical power to try, still, he wasn't leaving their people behind. With the first weapon he found, he was followed downtown. The images he remembers are blurry, him fighting, getting wounded or seeing his people fall.

There's a part of that day that he won't forget.

If he closes his eyes and lets his mind wander enough, he still hears the sound of the people's screams, the smell of blood, the pain in his arms and legs.

He still can feel the fear after seeing the head of the raiders going directly to him.

He still can see his father using his Wind Magic to fight.

He still can see how his father sacrificed himself to save his life.

He still can feel the pain in his throat after screaming for his father, who had just dropped dead.

He can't remember the awakening of his Water Magic, or the explosion everyone talks about, or how he was the one who ended the raid with three fast movements, or how he dropped unconscious next to his father's body.

Oscar does. He was the one who took care of him the days he stayed in a coma or unable to do more than stare at the wall.

His magic manifesting prematurely made Lando fall in the not-uncommon but still not known Curse of the Seasons.

---

"Do you think they'll let us in?"

"Come on, don't be stupid. It'll be difficult but surely it'll work. We're on the same side, right?"

Carlos didn't participate in the conversation. Coming back to what used to be his home was making him nostalgic. He missed his old life, even if he knew running away and fighting the occultists was the right thing to do. If Charles' conclusions were right, they were really close to finishing now. Just one more base and chaos would be lowered to minimal levels. The world will develop as it should again.

But first they needed Adam's and Lando's help.

In every kingdom they went to, they had contacts that would help in any way, even if it was just by giving them a place to rest. They had met very wonderful people everywhere, some stayed behind and some accompanied them in their adventures and where they started as just a duo, now it was a team, with Pierre, Alex and George next to them.

Charles, Pierre and George dominated the air powers. Alex was an expert with fire powers. Carlos' earth powers and him were only one.

They really just needed Lando to be a complete team and go to the biggest base ever, if he'd achieved his powers in their five years of absence.

Carlos was sure it wasn't going to be easy though, he thought as they were walking through the streets of the city, no one recognised them with their capes.

Five years without a letter sent wasn't something Carlos himself wouldn't be able to easily forgive so he's mentally prepared for any kind of answer they'll give them.

[misterewrites]

Year Two and a Halfish (Threads of Fate)

Hi! E here still alive. Been. a while. Sorry if you were expecting updates sooner my laptop was having some serious black screen issues and every attempt at sending it to get repaired is getting stonewalled and honestly it's infuriating and yeah. That happened. Hopefully this time it gets properly fixed and i can go back to writing consistently. I'm just using my mom's laptop to write in the meantime.

So it's super late but Merry Christmas @hains-mae! WOO! this is her gift that she requested at the time (I was pretty surprised when she wanted me to write this story but then i was promptly told she wanted her Solider Poet King for her birthday so that explained everything haha.

I started working on this a few days ago and unfortunately something happened here in America relates in a small part to the story. Honestly maybe I'm overreacting or overthinking it but I also know a lot of people read this story and i rather be overly prepped than accidentally not doing enough

Mae wanted a situation where Jason loses it after you, the reader, is injured. She gave me little requests like Robin's line and has to end in all warm feel goodness (cuz i am not legally allowed to write angst haha) so I have chosen that the reader is shot in the shoulder.

Yeah my little thing makes sense now.

It gets a bit intense, maybe? I can never tell cuz I'm writing it. Like i said I could be overthinking this but heads up. It also does end very sweet and homely and all that goodness so no worries. If you don't feel like reading it I understand.

Stay safe everyone. Lose yourself in a story whether it be mine or someone else's and just relax. breath. It'll be okay. Even if it seems like a lot right now.

So yeah hopefully I'll have my laptop fixed and we're all good but at least for now i have an alternate means of writing! Next is probably Mirror's Edge, Mae's birthday gift, Mirror's edge, another gift i owe but that's a personal one that won't be posted.

Be safe, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Wear masks (i know i know but remember you can pass them on to people with compromised immune systems.) remember to get the vaccine or booster cuz it'll help make it bearable. It's okay to just exist and be and let the world pass you by. One step at a time together. Also vaccine worldwide push for it cuz it's important and frankly whatever you feel is important. The issues that matter to you and remember. It'll be okay.

That's it for me! E is out have a great week and i'll see you really soon!

If you want to read this from the start you can find the whole story on this really awesome site right here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955270/chapters/73737858

For the rest of my work that includes some awesome original work (so i am told haha) Arcane Legend of Zelda and Soul Eater you can find that over here https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

Summary: A few months later, you are trying to get to work when a very unfortune thing happens. For better or worse Red Hood is saving the day.

-----

It’s pretty cold right now. I…I don’t recall ever feeling this cold before.

Wait. That’s not…true. I think. I’m pretty sure I’ve been this cold before.

Have I?

Whenever Mister Freeze has a snow day it gets really cold.

I feel for him, I do but...

God it’s cold. Or is it warm? My head is warm. Hands not so much. Feet freezing too.

Am I cold? I can’t tell. Everything is a lot right now. The floor is damp I know that much. I can see my breath frozen midair for a moment.

Someone is yelling, waving something towards me from overhead but I can’t focus. Everything’s a bit blurry.

Why does my side hurt? Fuck did I pull something again? I really hope not. I have work tomorrow. Eww wet too. Did I spill something?

Wait, no. Today. I have work today. Right now I think. What time is it?

Shit why do I feel weak? Arm’s shaking too. I didn’t forget to eat again did I? Ugh Jason’s going to kill me.

Hee, Jason. He’s soooo handsome. I have no idea why he wants out hang with me though. He is way out of my league. Like he’s fucking Batman’s son! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO IMPRESS THE ACTUAL SON OF BATMAN!?

Mister Wayne? Bruce? Bruce. No not Bruce. I’ve never met him, I don’t think I can be on a first name basis with freaking Batman if I’ve never met him. Well him him. I’ve been saved by the bats before. Few times actually.

I should really thank him for Jason. He’s just amazing.

Okay so maybe I drank a lot. Why am I thinking of Jason?

Ugh, this asshat is yelling at me still. What the hell does he want? He’s talking to me right? Ugh my head’s pounding, I can’t hear anything.

The guy seems frantic, keeps looking back expecting something but I have no idea what. He just keeps gesturing to his open hand. What the fuck does he…

FUCK! That’s right this asshole shot me!

I wince as the sound turns back on all at once: The angry honking of impatient drivers, the numbing chatter of a thousand people living in a concrete jungle as one. The adrenaline is making my senses so sharp I can hear the dripping water splatting against the cold floor of the alley.

I must’ve gone into shock without realizing it. I mean I was just shot so can you blame me?

My shoulder is burning with a white hot pain I only felt twice in my life: Once when Bane slammed a mailbox into me and when I was 12 and I was really trying to…

You know what? Not important. More pressing matters right now.

I remember now that my flight or fight kicked in: I was late to work and I tried cutting through an alley for a shortcut.

Terrible idea in Gotham I know but this one was brightly lit. I didn’t think anyone was stupid enough to try anything.

So naturally the universe decides to give me the one stupidest person who would try.

He waves his gun at me again (it was a gun. Duh.) but honestly I’m too wired to care. Plus he shot a hole in my favorite jacket! AND IT’S GOT BLOOD RUNNING DOWN IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET BLOOD OUT OF CLOTHING?! Really fucking hard.

Oh. Shit. I’m bleeding out. That’s probably important too.

I try to pick myself off the floor but he takes a step forward, threatening me with the gun again.

“I’ll shoot!” he yells.

Even now, with the last possible moments of my life slipping away, I can’t help but be a smartass.

“You already did you asshat! Shooting me again isn’t gonna make me want to give you my money anymore than the first time!”

Gonna die as I lived: Sassy.

He clicks the hammer on the gun, prepping it to fire again.

I…I feel numb. The adrenaline lessens the pain but it’s still mind dumbing. I just want to scream and fight and yell and go down swinging.

But that’s not who I am. I’m not some superhero or even a regular hero. I’m just a person trying to make my way through this chaotic journey called life. I couldn’t even get up and now because some idiot wants the 10 bucks and a very, very old video rental card to a place that doesn’t exist anymore in my wallet, it was about to end.

I could feel fear bite at my resolve, a dreadful overwhelming sense of finality wash over me. Goosebumps crawled down my skin, the air felt stuffy and too cold all at once as time slowed to a crawl.

I….

I can’t even think.

I’m just scared. I don’t want to go out this way.

I took a deep breath and close my eyes.

I think of my mom, waiting for my phone call later.

I think about Jason Jr, a cat I adopted by accident cuz he had streak of white that was way too familiar. Feed them once and every Jason refuses to leave you.

I do my best to not think of him but Jason Jr leads to Jason the human: His piercing blue eyes that feel like he’s seeing deep into my soul. His messy black hair with that one streak of white that made him so iconic, so distinct from his brothers. The various knicks, tiny bruises, cuts and scars from years being Robin then the Red Hood. Invisible from afar but so, so clear up close.

I can hear his laugh, mostly teasing but with a hint of warmth when I do something dumb. The way shows off his prowess with a knife and how proud he beams when I clap excitedly. Wide smirks when we get into one of our playful chats and jabs. The small smile that graces his lips when he thinks I’m not looking. The quiet thoughtful look when something troubles him. A distance gaze only someone who has experienced for too much has.

I see Jason in my mind but I don’t want that. I want to look him in eye when he tries to be all broody and cool. I want to mess with his hair and tease him about his terrible tastes in books. I want to see him again!

Not like this. No fucking way. I have no idea how I’m going to go but I refuse to let it be like this.

I snap out of my stupor, time seemingly unmoved by whatever deeply reflective crap I just did.

He still has his hand on the gun. I’m still on the floor and this still sucks.

I prep my body, tensing and wincing from my aching shoulder but I try not to be distracted. One shot and whether it works or not, I’m not going to go quietly.

“JUST GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” the man screams hysterically.

“Fuck you.” I spit out as I’m ready to make my move.

The red string tied around my finger slackens, distracting me at a really bad time but suddenly goes taut like someone is pulling at it.

A thud is all I hear and suddenly the guy is gone. Just vanished into thin air.

I weakly try to stand but my legs turn to jelly and honestly I’m not in fight or flight anymore. I’m in “the floor is nice and solid and I’m just gonna lay here” mode.

So I do just that and fall back on the floor and decide to exist for like the next ten minutes.

I mean I would’ve if something didn’t pick me up.

“Are you okay?” A voice asks, young. Younger than me at least.

“Umm.” I smartly reply.

The young man hums thoughtfully “You’ve been shot.”

“Yeah. That thing.”

“Shock.” He concludes before slipping my good arm over his neck and helps me over to a wall. I take this sec to look and am unsurprised to find Red Robin at my side.

“JA.…” Someone else from above calls out, nearly saying a full name before realizing his mistakes “HOOD!”

Hood? Jason. Jason is the Hood. Jason is here. God I’m tired.

He doesn’t respond if he is here.

A figure elegantly sails through the air, tucking into an impossible swan dive only a skilled master of acrobatics whose trained his entire life could manage so effortlessly.

Plus that’s Nightwing’s ass. It doesn’t matter where you land on orientation, everyone in Gotham and Bludhaven knows that ass.

“HOOD!” Nightwing shouts, less cheery goofyball as per his usual self and more firm. More worried.

Red Robin looks now and his practiced, measured posture drops. He doesn’t even bother to hide his brother’s name.

“Jason. Jason stop! JASON!”

Nightwing has already broken into a full sprint towards where I assume Jason is but Red Robin take a second to make sure I’m comfortable. He places me against the wall and hands me a thick cloth to press over my shoulder. A second later and he’s off. My eyes follow and land on Jason.

Except he’s not Jason right now. He’s Red hood and the difference is….staggering to be honest.

I…forget who he is, the brand of justice he deals out with harsh sentences. Somehow, despite how we first met, I managed to split Jay and Hood into two different entities. Two different people who never happened to be in the same room at the same time.

But now, seeing Jason rain blow and blow upon my attacker, I see it.

Jason favors his right side. He’s amberidext-something but that’s from years of training. He says it feels more natural to him, easier for him to focus on other things.

Red likes using the right too. He’s just a fraction faster using his favored side and it’s clear even with his build that he is quick and there’s power in each punch.

Jason is light on his feet but has a solid stance. He loves to boast how it takes all his siblings to hold back him even if he’s not really trying to break free.

Nightwing can’t stop him neither can Red Robin. They’ve all had the same training from the same teacher but they’re not the same. They all have their strengths: Nightwing was blessed with an inhuman grace (and ass). RR is as smart as Batman and just as capable as a detective.

But Jason? Just a force of nature. Pure muscle and strength only equaled by his mentor and with a will to match.

They could barely slow the battle crazed Hood. It took all they had to pull him back but I could see by the sweat on their brows that it was only a matter of time before he broke free from their grasp. He was like a shark that smelled blood in the water and he wasn’t going to stop until he felt the price of injustice had been paid.

Another figure descended from the roof, smaller in stature and wearing an all too iconic yellow and black outfit: Robin. Well the newest Robin since everyone here minus me was Robin at some point.

You know when you’re drained of adrenaline you get reeeeeeally out of it.

Robin cautiously approached the trashing Red Hood, well aware of how dangerous his brother could be.

“Todd.” Robin spoke firmly “This is wrong. You know this is wrong.”

“Yeah Jay!” Nightwing pitched in quickly “And that’s coming from the kid. Imagine how you’re acting if he’s saying that.”

Robin openly glared “Watch your tongue Grayson.”

“Guys, could we deal with the rampaging Jason before we start snipping at each other?” Red Robin pleaded with immense strain.

Nightwing tightened his grip “Jay please. They’re watching.”

Jason’s shoulders slump as realization dawned on him. I could physically note when the exact moment the fight left him.

And me as I promptly passed out.

-----

I wish I could tell you after such a harrowing ordeal that I reflected with a deep and newly acquired profound understanding of my existence, the importance of living each day to the fullest and my place in the universe for really I am the instrument in which the universe….

Yeah no. I woke up on a cloud and instantly hated existing cuz pain is not fun.

I’m not exaggerating by the way. I found myself on the most comfortable bed I have ever been. It was like it was molded for me, shaping around my body in a way that didn’t aggravate my aches. I mean it didn’t stop them but I’ll take anything I could get.

“I see you are awake.”

I couldn’t even flail so I settled for screaming at the top of my lungs.

The most British older gentleman I have ever seen regarded me with a stony face of indifference though I swore I saw a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

“I must admit I have never illicit that particular response before.” He said dryly complete with stiff upper lip “But I can see why it is Master Bruce’s favorite.”

I could feel my cheeks burn “Ah yes. Sorry I….sorry. Umm good morning mister…?”

The man gave a bow “Pennyworth. Normally I would ask you to refer to me as such but seeing as young Master Jason has spoken about you at great length and detail it seems only fair we are on a more familiar basis. Alfred is my name.”

I chuckled nervously as realization dawns on me “Yes. Please forgive me…Alfred? Sir? I…Long night.”

“I should say so what with that bullet lodged in your shoulder.”

I could feel my shoulder ache dully at the reminder.

“Ugh I gotta get to a hospital huh? Don’t want to get lead poisoning. Umm Alfred, sir, do you know if Gotham Blue covers gunshot wounds? My brain is still a bit scrambled.” I speak honestly.

Even his laugh is dry “Do not worry. I have taken the liberty of removing the round as you were sleeping. It made the process simpler and more efficient. A refreshing change of pace I will admit. My usual patients like to insist very serious gunshot wounds fall under the category of merely a ‘scratch’.”

I opened my mouth to reply but someone else answered for me “We’re bats Alfred. Comes with the territory that we get shot at.”

Jason sauntered into the room lazily but I knew he’d been worried: His hair was extra messy and matted, his shoulders slumped as his posture hunched over. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, probably fiddling with whatever he had inside. His gaze was intensely focused on Alfred but I could see him struggling not to look at me.

Alfred’s gave a slight smile “Ah yes. Forgive me Master Todd but I do recall there is quite the difference between being shot at and being shot in general. One many of you seem to have difficulty grasping.”

Jason shrugged, unsure what to say.

“Beg your pardon” Alfred turned to me “I must prepare breakfast. I shall be back shortly with some French toast and fresh bandages for your wound.”

With a polite bow Alfred briskly left the room and sent a scurrying of hurried feet racing from the door.

Silence, not awkward but still tense. The lingering sense of shame filled the air.

Jason wouldn’t look at me.

“Your siblings will be back soon.” I nudged him helpfully “If you want a private conversation I’d say we got like 5 minutes.”

“Twenty.” Jason mumbled uneasily “They really like to scatter to make sure no one is suspicious but Alfred and Bruce know us too well to fall for it. Alfred will suddenly find tiny and convenient issues around the house to prevent them from circling back and Bruce will track one or two down to have a quick chat.”

“Neat.” I said honestly.

Silence fell over us again but I knew it was because Jason was gathering his thoughts into words. When things really mattered he always took his time.

“I’m sorry.” He said, still refusing to meet my gaze.

I scoffed loudly “I wasn’t aware you shot me.”

“This isn’t the time for being a smartass!”

“It isn’t the time for being a dumbass either but here you are.”

“I know you saw me.”

I sighed deeply “Of course I saw you. What, do you think I never wanna see you again?”

Jason remained quiet.

“Look.” I tried to sit up “I’m not gonna pretend like I know what your life’s been like and what you did last night was…a lot.”

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse.” He said but I ignored him.

“Make me Jay.”

Jason whirled around so quick I nearly didn’t see him gently push me onto back.

“Oww.” I wheezed but Jason held a firm yet careful hold on me “Cheater.”

“How? How did I cheat?” Jason gave a cutely offended look.

I snort “Alphabetically or chronologically?”

Jason glared “If you say Batman trained me one more time…”

“Am I lying?” I smirked “The most training I got was little league and I sucked at it.”

“You hit a homerun once” He offered helpfully.

I rolled my eyes playfully “I hit home, not a homerun. Big diff Jay.”

“True. Only you could hit the homebase and send it flying 5 feet.”

“Hey! It was 20 feet. Minimum.”

“Mhm sure. My bad.” Jason finally grinned “I suppose you also managed to get 5 points for doing that too.”

“Don’t forget the scholarship too! You always forget the scholarship.”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“No!”

“Duh!”

We stared at each other deeply for a moment before breaking out into laughter.

Well Jason did. I took one breath and suddenly I was violently coughing.

“Oww oww oww.”

“Idiot.” He mumbled as he tucked me into the sheets.

I gave a cheesy grin “Worth it.”

Jason raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“Okay no, not really” I admitted “That hurt way more than I was expecting.”

“Rest.” Jason threatened me with arms crossed.

I was too tired to care the words “Only if you’re here to keep an eye on me.” Tumbled out of my mouth before I thought better.

Jason shifted guiltily “Look I…”

In for a pound. I gently placed on my hand over his “We’ll talk about it later. For now it’s over and honestly I really don’t wanna think about it this second. I am just….really happy to see you Jay.”

He took my hand in his.

“You really need to stop taking shortcuts.” He scolded lightly.

“Hey!” I raised my free hand defensively “There were lights! What kind of idiot tries to rob someone in a well lit alley?!”

“The one that shot you yesterday.”

“No shit Jay.” I glared openly at him but all he did was smirk in response.

As beautiful as this moment was, I had to ruin it. A thought began to bother me and Jason noticed.

Jason motioned with his head “Don’t think too hard. Your body can’t handle the strain right now.”

“Oh shut it. You said Bruce was gonna intercept your siblings, right?”

“Umm yeah.” Jason was unsure where I was going with this “He pretends to be emotionally constipated but he’s very good at bed side manner and respectful with privacy.”

I nodded in agreement “Have you ever brought anyone to here?”

Jason’s face fell “Oh no.”

“Emotionally constipated? You’re being unusually kind today Jason.”

The doors flung open and in strode the one, the only, the myth, the legend and Jay’s father: Bruceman.

Shit I mean Batwayne. Brucebat.

Bruce motherfreaking Wayne gave me a million dollar smile “Hello I’m Bruce Wayne. It is so nice to meet you. Jason never brings any of his friends over.”

I could feel myself pale as I stared dumbfounded at his outstretched hand.

Then I promptly passed out.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

the school circus begins

I have three children going to three different schools

this is going to be some complicated logistics

and I had a lot of trouble getting them to school

on time and all together when it was easy

I've been avoiding thinking about it

but the first day of school is in a day

so tomorrow I will use my small allotted amount

of pure and brilliant executive function

to figure out how the hell I'm going to this

a plan to get three kids who need to be in three different places

all to schools that somehow meet at the same times

this was the second day of orientations

my oldest has five classes and that's a lot of teachers

so many kids and so many parents and so many crowds

the oceans of energy, though most of it was excitement

instead of smothering I found it kind of invigorating

I've always really enjoyed my kids' schools and the people

it's so different from when I grew up and it would be

a fantasy to the littlest parts of me

and now I get to watch all three little mini mes

experience it in their different ways and it's so funny

6 and 9 and 11 are all such different ages and value systems

but together they are always the same

which is mostly chaos and bickering and sweetness

but today when a girl started mouthing at my youngest

his older brother came over to mouth at her back

and I reminded him calmly that we didn't need to fuel conflict

but in a playful way so he wasn't embarrassed

my oldest is very easily embarrassed now so I try to avoid it

unless there is an opportunity I cannot miss

to make him cringe so hard he blushes

it's usually pretty hard to fluster me

and I don't mind making a fool of myself

if it's good for the story

but I've had a few situations where I found myself

blushing and squirming when I didn't want to

so I have a little more empathy and sensitivity to his plight

the kids all love the car which was contagious

we drove around all day in this thing

my daughter is already planning to wipe it all out

offering to do it for free but I told her if she worked

she should get some money for it

and she still thinks five dollars is a lot so

we both get a pretty sweet deal for the detail

I'll let her help me pick out some mats

and seat covers that will make everything cozy

it felt like the four of us again

just like when they were little and we'd go

on those long roadtrips just me and them

I'd forgotten what that felt like

I'd forgotten what everything felt like

and now I'm enjoying feeling it all again

it's the same but different and without all the urgency

I could never seems to satisfy in myself

no matter how hard I tried to balance

I had so much self doubt and anxiety about things

that had never before mattered to me

but the rhythms are all smoothing out

I remember where my solar plexus is again

and I breathe into it to remember again

how to connect with myself and my energy

try to drop my awareness down to my heartspace

when I notice myself ruminating on something

I won't remember in a day or a week

I missed myself so much and I didn't even know it

I can still see the lines of where I had to

transition some in my identity as a woman

and a mother and why things got so blurry

kids need so much and it's easy to forget yourself

and let things kind of take over where you wouldn't normally

and I like where I am and where I've been

and it's really nice to feel that way again

and to know how to prevent avoid losing it again

I learned from this most recent experience

of getting a car that could have been sold

for far more than $825 by the owner

but this lovely woman who loves me

said to me with only the purest sincerity

"We've been where you are right now

and someone was kind to us too when we needed it

so I like to keep it going." and I know

in the deepest part of me that I'll do the same

when I meet someone with the same song as mine

I don't feel guilty or like charity and it didn't even occur to me

the offer came out of no where and I took it

and gave her the biggest hug and thanked her so many times

and just felt joy and relief and today celebration

with those babies who each claimed their place

in that car that has no loan and it's loud and huge

and it's mine with my name on the title and it's mine

the space pilot has her starship again

and the world is full of roads for my new wheels

and wind for my hair and everything is free again

I didn't realize how much not having my own car

made me feel trapped and a little hopeless

so now I know and I'll avoid the lack in the future

I'm so glad the kids love it and the radio is great

and I'm glad it's kind of scruffy and old

even the license plates are a little crooked

I think I'm going to get a bunch of awful bumper stickers

and by awful I don't include aesthetically because I'm sure

I can find beautiful awful bumper stickers just weird enough

to cringe out my son and delight my other two

god it's been so long since I've wanted to do anything

without it costing so much of my focused energy

and now I feel more things flowing in natural ways again

I learn and learn and learn and know nothing

but I have a few patterns figured out well

and listen to the few things I know intimately by heart

and keep dreaming and scheming and relaxing into

the waves of ebb and flow that is the magic of this life

and hope I'll remember to do all of it tomorrow again

[zevilamotorcompany]

ok. so that was a lie. imagine it took me over a day to eat that sandwich. anyways. my drifterrrr

partially inspired by the fact that i’ve been having weird dreams about warframe irl which is HILARIOUS but i was like well actually what if this started happening to nimue.

they aren’t really dreams of course, more like instances of time being “thin”/the strands of khra wavering in ways that connect our current origin system to 1999’s sol system. we’ve already seen a lot of weirdness pre-1999’s release what with kaelli listening to on-lyne (somehow), that pom-2 showing up in our orbiter (probably just for demo access purposes but to me it just appeared there one day and it’s an anomaly — same with arthur’s sword/the protokol longsword skin being canonically “found” in the orbiter by ordis), and Everything with koumei. i mean. i think the dormant infestation underneath earth is certainly……. i do not think it bodes well for future events i’ll tell you that much. remnants of 1999’s infestation?? i dunno!

i say all this to say that drifter nimue is, at times, sort of accidentally transferencing into 1999 while she’s asleep via her previous connection to arthur during witw. the whole scene where you’re running around the subway and fighting the new infested enemies and all that. TECHNICALLY it wasn’t her who did any of witw, it was tenno nimue (tenno nimue does the bulk of their collective work when they’re operating as “one unit” so to speak). but that connection is still there. ‘cause they’re the same person.

but the thing is this ISN’T happening to tenno nimue. all of the weird shit that’s happening is specifically happening to drifter nimue (bc she’s gonna be finally taking the forefront for 1999 — which rocks because i don’t really think about her that much in comparison to the tenno). which she’s kind of bitter about. drifter nimue doesn’t talk much about the weird shit that’s been going on with her (and atp they cannot “reconnect” into “one person” for whatever reason) but the tenno knows there’s something she isn’t telling her. and it makes her feel. bad. again.

tenno nimue is very determined to figure out Everything Ever (she grows very close with loid as time goes on and it makes him feel bad to see another person he cares about, especially this poor kid, be consumed by their work — that whole thing is for another day though) and in my canon with my pals she isn’t the one who made the deal with the man in the wall, so she already feels like she’s constantly “missing out” on being “the important one” in the group. even if that means she would have something horrible happen to her, it’d mean she was important, in a way. even though that’s majorly fucked up. to like. be jealous of someone for those things. but she has the whole mentality of she should be on the front lines (and she is but this is a matter of her perspective) and thus she should be suffering. or something. this post isn’t about the tenno ugh but i can’t not bring that up. ack.

but yeah. drifter nimue is going a little nuts. her “dreams” are getting more and more frequent and more and more strange as we get closer to 1999 (I LOVE WRITING LORE FOR ONGOING STUFF EEEEE LIKE THIS IS HAPPENING IN REAL TIME TO ME). they’re very vague and she oftentimes forgets them by the time she’s fully awake/conscious but they still sort of nag at her. the feeling that something is out there. or that she’s finally losing it. but these are passing thoughts.

it’s like this. drifter nimue will have some vague, incomprehensible “nightmare” of being lost in the dark, or overtaken by infestation, or any other combination of frightening techrot bullshit. she’ll have “dreams” where she’s talking with people she’s never seen before and she is not herself. they’re very blurry. can’t make out any faces or words but she knows they’re there. there is something. and she knows she isn’t herself. sometimes it hurts when she wakes up and she doesn’t know why. she will forget most of this by the time she’s awake, but feel off for a while afterwards. it’s the feeling of “damn, i know i had a dream last night but i just can’t remember any of it.” and when you go about your day you see little things that scratch an itch — “why is this familiar?” — but you still don’t know what the hell happened in your brain when you were asleep. but she figures it’s… probably nothing. maybe? probably.

simultaneously, across time, arthur will complain of a splitting headache.

when 1999 eventually happens they’ll end up meeting and both feel a twinge of familiarity that neither of them will dwell on or bring up to the other.

but i know!!! I Know and i know it’s because before they even met some weird shit was goin on. i have more i could say but i’m gonna stop here for tonight :P

thinking about drifter nimue having fate dream esque instances of partial transference to 1999/a bunch of weird shit starts happening to her specifically (in. my/my friends and i’s lore there’s 4 “chosen operators” and she is one of them — they’re all part of a team and they all did various major aspects of the plot separately/by themselves as opposed to There’s One Special Tenno doing all the important stuff yknow). atp in the story (the buildup to 1999/the current plot with koumei) her and her tenno self have inexplicably completely split again after a period of them just kind of operating as one and whoever is needed is the one who’s physically present. you understand you know warframe you know how that is. hold on post interrupted i’m going to go eat a breakfast sandwich tbh give me a second give me a second

[luveline]

hi! could you do something with a reader that is very unsure of herself and finds it hard to believe that people enjoy having her around? like maybe she was gone the whole day at work and when she comes home she doesn't expect Remus to be basically clung to her side because nobody has wanted her like that before

hi tysm for ur request! hope this is okay <3

You try to be as quiet as you can, opening Remus’ door. It clunks aggressively, louder as it closes. 

“Fuck,” you mutter, and with his appearance in the doorway, “sorry, Remus, I didn’t mean to slam the door. I can’t ever get used to- oh. This is nice.”

Remus presses his warm cheek to your wind bitten forehead, arms wrapped around you tightly. “I missed you,” he says brightly. 

“I missed you too,” you tell him, heart split by a lurching tug and a buzzing pleasure.

The hug is, to your disappointment, very brisk. When he pulls away he takes your cold face in his big hands, cradling your cheeks. The way he looks at you - like you’re a marvel, like he just can’t believe it - makes your thoughts blurry. 

He unbuttons your coat, has you stripped out of its damp fabric quicker than you can comprehend, hand slipping down your arm to catch your hand. 

“Your timing is perfect as always, my love.”

You almost trip over your own feet, surprised at his adoring tone.

He leads you to the kitchen where two plates of steaming food and their respective silverware beckon you forward. You slip into your seat and Remus sits beside you, and your elbows knock as you eat. 

You keep apologising and he keeps shaking his head. It’s boggling. 

“How was work?” he asks. 

You swallow a mouthful of water cold enough to hurt your teeth and nod as you say, “It was okay. S’quiet.”

He flashes a grin and moves in for another forkful. “Yeah?”

“Sorry, I’m always so boring when I-”

“I wanna hear it.”

He says it so earnestly. You swallow roughly and struggle to say what you mean. “It’s fine there. I mean... I doubt they’d notice if I didn’t show up,” you say, joking but not really joking. 

“More fool them. Stay home tomorrow, then, and I’ll have you all to myself,” he says, nudging his elbow into yours with a smirk.

Of course Remus is fond of you, he’s your boyfriend, but sometimes you wonder why. This is one of those times. You sneak peeks at him throughout the rest of the meal and then some more when he sequesters you in the small living room. 

He sits on one end of the sofa and you sit at the other. It’s barely five minutes before he’s shuffling towards you, dropping his head on your shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him. 

He peeks up at you. “I’m perfect. Why, is something the matter?”

“No, nothing. I just- I feel like you have something to tell me.”

He frowns, puzzled, and then something charming lines his eyes. “Oh, I love you. Did I forget to tell you this morning? I’m sorry, dove, I was half asleep.”

“No, you told me twice. And once on the phone.”

He looks relieved. “All's right with the world, then.”

You nod though you don’t understand. In fact, this conversation has confuddled you tenfold. “Right,” you agree. “Um, can I shower?”

He frowns again. “Can’t it wait?”

“I- yeah. Yeah.”

“Are you sure there’s not something wrong?”

“No,” you say honestly. 

He lifts his face from your shoulder, smile turning awkward. “What? What is it?”

“Is the shower broken?”

Bewilderment, pure bewilderment. “No?”

“So why does it need to wait?”

Remus pouts in his confusion, voice gentle as he explains, “Because I’ve missed you all day? A lot. A lot a lot.”

A rush again, that awful tugging feeling. That doesn’t make any sense, you don’t say. That doesn’t make any sense. People don’t want me like that.

“I missed you,” he repeats, like he can tell you don’t believe it. “Dove, I miss you all the time. All the time. I wait for you to get home. You know?”

“Of course I know,” that he waits. That he’s kind. 

He sighs loudly and twists, dropping his shoulders into your lap. You’re surprised but you love him, and your hands know that. Your fingertips brush over the sides of his face, your knuckle running over his cheek. 

“I’d be willing to let you shower now if I can come with you,” he says teasingly. 

You bend down until your noses are touching and shut your eyes. 

“Can’t it wait?” you ask. 

His laughter is hot on your lips. 

[whitesuitjake]

Solace

Part 1

My first fic!! It's been in the works for a while and I'm very excited for it!

The plan is for this to be a slowburn, but as I have little experience writing slow burns, it's a bit of an experiment.

Thanks for reading! 💙

Warnings: vague sexually explicit scenes, cheating, evidence of physical abuse, angst.

Word count: 4.1k

The lights shone like blurry visions as you moved in slow motion around the soft space. Nothing made sense. It was as if your brain was sending only half the signals it needed to make your limbs move, resulting in fuzzy, ill-planned actions. You were definitely drunk, and possibly even crossfaded. But there was no recollection of either substance making its way into your body, but it had to have been the case. The only clear thing was the sound. The force driving into you accompanied with soft moans. It wasn’t until your racing thoughts stopped that you realized the moans were yours. It felt good, the way you were feeling. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but more likely it was the drug of sex itself that was coursing through your veins. It was so dark that you could hardly see, but you felt every movement like each one was an individual shock wave going through you. A name. You were going to call out his name, but you couldn’t remember it. You had no recollection because you didn’t know him. He wasn’t the man you had gone to bed with every night for the last few years. He wasn’t your fiance. 

***

It was the verge of a breakthrough, the point you had worked every day of your life for, the moment where everything falls into place. Just when you’re on the brink of finally touching it, when you can just reach the light at the end of the tunnel, you feel it: the cold, iron grip of reality. Two pink lines on a plastic strip leaves your world shattered. It feels like an earthquake, a rumbling underground that renders every building into a pile of rubble in seconds flat. All prospects of a future, a life of ease and promise, gone with one careless night. 

This was only the start of the chaos, not only did you now have this to deal with, but you had to explain to your fiance exactly how you got pregnant while he’s been away for the last few months. To say he didn’t take it well was an understatement. Your hopes going into the conversation weren’t high to start with, but he truly surprised you. He had never been known to follow a destructive path, but if he were to have a villain origin story, this was it. A lovely purple bruise across your cheekbone was his parting gift. What a thoughtful present. 

It felt as if you had been thrown back into your college days, a time when you would have a new boyfriend every month, and cheat on him with the next. This was the trend until you met him, the man who would satisfy your every need, stopping you from finding solace elsewhere. It was wishful to think you could ever grow out of your old patterns. Everyone always says that people don’t change, and you had dismissed it as people being too pessimistic, but now you believed it to be true. It was cynical to think that way, but it was realistic. In today's world, being cynical was the only way to make it out alive. 

Not only were your actions of cheating less than adult, your consequences were ones you should have known how to avoid. This is something that happens to teenagers when they have sex for the first time, not someone in their mid to late twenties who definitely knows a thing or two when it comes to sexual relations. If you weren’t already hitting  yourself for your indiscretion, you were definitely hitting yourself for the aftermath. 

But the world goes on, the planet turns whether you want it to or not. We live with the fruit of our actions and our consequences. Mistakes seem to follow people around like flies on a pile of shit. They stick to you like adhesive. Regrets fade, but there will always be people that never forget how you hurt them each and every day, whether it was intentional or not. And to think you had such high hopes for yourself, such dreams and aspirations for your career and life. 

You were supposed to get married, be the model wife you were always meant to be. You were destined to get promoted to CEO of your company, be at the top of a high tower where no one could knock you off. But now here you were; single, jobless, with nothing to your name but the clothes on your back and your old sedan. 

So you did the only thing you could do with what you had left, you got in your car, and started driving. After your fiance calmed down from his initial reaction, he got to work. He took the liberty of throwing all your clothes out the second story window of your apartment and into the snow below, wordlessly telling you ‘fuck off and never come back’. You had no home, your belongings were too soaked through by the snow to justify jamming them into your trunk, all you had was the road. As you turned onto the interstate, you cried the first tears since you took that fateful test. It didn’t hit you until then, the weight of your situation and the reality of your loss. 

It was stupid and reckless to cry while you should be paying attention to the road, but you were on a streak of stupid and reckless recently, and what’s one more indiscretion on the list? Nothing could change this. Nothing was a viable solution. Even if you chose to end the pregnancy, nothing would get you your old life back. The old job you loved so much, the promotion you were days away from receiving, the fiance who loved and cherished you and kissed away every insecurity, everything was gone. If only there was a way to turn back time, to realize you had everything you already needed in that moment when you chose to alter your direction in life. But now here you were, sobbing with your foot pressed down like a heavy brick on the gas pedal. 

There was one thing you had left, only one: This small hope within you. The prospect of something to live for. A child you could love and cherish. A soul that you could bring into this world and teach to not make the same mistakes you had. If one good thing could come out of this, you would hold onto that. 

Deciding that you would keep moving forward and focus on living, you relieved your foot from its task on the gs pedal and slowed down. If you were going to go through with this and have the one thing you could call yours, you weren’t going to die recklessly before you could do that. Despite having this small hope, there was an overwhelming emptiness you knew would never truly go away. 

If by some chance you made it through, started a new life and replaced things and people as best you could, you would never fully forgive yourself for throwing away the perfect life you had before. Nothing could ever fill the whole your fiance had left, nor could anything come close to the dream job you once had. It was all gone now, nothing could measure up. It’s like settling for a chevy after having owned a sports car, it’s never the same. 

With a sigh, you resigned yourself to the peacefulness of the open road. There was nothing to fix this, so you were going to learn to live with your mistakes. Healing was a ways off, but you could exist until you found out where it was, wherever that may be. 

The snow was falling heavily around the car as you sailed along, and the sun slowly settled into its resting place beneath the horizon, giving the sky a hue of brilliant pastels. What a shame that such a pretty day had been soiled by so much anguish. The initial shock was gone, and your tears had since dried on your face. You had resigned yourself to the journey that your life had become, but one unsettling question still remained: what next? Where could you possibly go? Ties had been cut with your mom long ago, your dad had since passed, and you had no family that you knew of in the surrounding area. 

The solution for the moment was simple: just keep driving until a better solution presented itself. But to what end? You were far too tired to drive through the night, especially with this second person zapping all your energy and making you hungry constantly. Just when your brain was done rattling off the few options you had, fate made the decision for you. 

A loud noise sounded as your car lurched, then began to slow down rapidly. Thankfully, you were already in the right lane, so pulling over was simple. What splendid luck. Even if you had had somewhere to go, you now had no way of getting there. Flashers were turned on as you got out of the car to assess the damage. You had no prior knowledge of there being something wrong with your car, and if you had, you would have definitely gotten it fixed before you decided to upend your life like this. 

With the hood popped, you looked inside. There was some smoke alright, but it looked fine to you. You, a person who had never fixed a car in your life and didn’t even know something like this could happen. Just when you thought you were done crying, here you were again, sobbing like the sky during a hurricane. 

Nothing could ever go your way. Absolutely nothing. Why was it so hard for the universe to give you one nice thing and let you keep it? This was all you had left of your old life. The faithful sedan you’d only had for a few years. You sat on the ledge of the hood, your head in your hands. It was too cold and snowy for this. You’d likely die out here. Would that be so bad? It’s not like you had much to live for anyway. Just when you had resigned yourself to it, you remembered the tiny life inside you. It wasn’t right to not give this child a chance, to not even try for it. You had to keep living, to keep moving forward. How, you weren’t sure. But you did know that you had to try. 

But at the moment, all hope of moving forward was lost, quite literally. Tears had considerably blurred your vision, but the headlights pulling up behind your car were bright enough to grab your attention. Just what you needed, a Ted Bundy type situation to make matters worse. If this was the way you were to go, then so be it. At least it wouldn’t have been by your own doing.

The driver’s side door to the car opened, and out came a curly head of hair. He was definitely handsome, smooth glowy skin, and a strong jaw. He cautiously approached your car, seeing you sitting on the edge of the front, under the popped hood.

“Are you alright?” He asked, keeping his distance. You said nothing, not knowing exactly how you would answer that. ‘Oh yeah, I just got kicked out by my fiance because he found out I was preggo with another dude’s kid,’ would definitely be going too far in terms of what to say to a stranger. It seemed like an eternity passed as you stayed silent, all the while his stare never leaving your face. All that was shared between you too was awkward looks and slow blinks,  until you finally cleared your throat and answered.

“Erm, uh, my car- just- stopped.” after you said it you mentally face palmed. That sounded so stupid and unintelligent, not that his pinion as a stranger mattered, but it definitely wasn’t great for your self esteem. Wordlessly, he made his way around from where he was standing on the side of the car to the front, and peered into your car’s insides. It seemed he knew a thing or two about cars as he began touching different parts and looking incredulously at all the bits and pieces. 

“Yeah, not sure it’ll run without a new alternator. I could call you a tow truck.” His offer was sweet, but you knew a tow truck would just take you back into the city, which is what you had been trying to get away from in the first place. You shook your head, silently declining his offer. He seemed puzzled, not quite sure why you chose to remain stranded on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. 

“You’ll freeze out here. Let me take you to a motel at least.” His insistence on helping you was getting annoying. You got yourself into this mess and you’d get yourself out of it. Your philosophy in life was quickly becoming one of being alone and trusting only yourself. It was never your intention for it to get that way, it just happened. Even after his second try at being helpful, you remained silent. Even so, he patiently waited for you to answer. 

“I don’t have any money.” it was an excuse, but technically, you were broke. The shared account your fiance and you had once shared was no longer accessible to you, even though you had been the primary contributor to the account. But he had seen it fit to punish you further by cutting you off to any source of money for your mistakes. In a way, you felt like you deserved it. 

“Oh.” Realization was evident on his face as he shifted uncomfortably. You could almost see the wheels turning behind his eyes, looking like he was weighing different scenarios in his mind. Finally, he looked back up into your eyes. “If you’re comfortable with it, I can take you to a motel and pay for a room for you. I can’t leave a lady out in the cold and have it weigh on me for the rest of my life.” He seemed very confident in his solution, and even though you weren’t keen on letting a stranger take you in his car, it was your only option. Chances are you were more likely to live if you went with him, as strange as it was. You softly nodded, and went to grab your purse out of the passenger’s seat. 

No words were exchanged as you both got into his car, and buckled your seatbelts. How odd this was, meeting a stranger like this and him helping you in this way. The car ride was silent, but not deafening at all. Lights you passed by highlighted your face for brief moments, catching upon the fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. They glistened with the spotty lighting, and no doubt the strange man saw. 

He knew nothing of your story, or how you got in such a predicament. No doubt the bruise still fresh on your cheekbone tipped him off to some degree. How embarrassing, for someone to see you so low, whether they knew the backstory or not. No attempt was made to wipe away your tears. You had been wiping them away all day and at this moment, they seemed fitting. You had nothing of your old life left, not even your car. Your loss had been mourned earlier in the day, but now it was truly gone. 

The stranger had driven to the next town over, instead of driving back to the bigger city, which you were thankful for. Now that you had left, and took basically nothing with you, you would never go back. That life, that whole metropolis, you would leave behind as a symbolic action of your old life passing away. The gravestone would read: “Here lies the life of a woman who could have had it all, but threw it away for no reason at all.” You shook your head slowly side to side, urging the thoughts to disappear. If you were going to leave it all behind, you would try to leave your regrets as well. There’s no use fretting about how it would have been after it’s lost. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the stranger trying his best to keep his eyes on the road, rather than looking at you. You were a case for sure, and anyone would have found it hard to not ask questions or stare at you in your current state. You were bruised (quite literally), tear stained, and not dressed for the weather in the slightest. 

There wasn’t long to dwell on the thought as he pulled up to a small hotel. You had expected it to be more run down, but it was actually rather quaint. It had a well lit sign with no flickering letters, it had a freshly paved parking lot, and seemed well kept from what you could see. The stranger was out of the car first, and you slowly followed his lead out of the sedan and through the front sliding doors. 

You let him talk to the front desk attendant, turning out their words and just taking in your surroundings. The lobby had speakers overhead that were playing some muzak version of a pop song, possibly the only disgruntling feature of the whole space. You could hear him finishing up getting rooms, so you turned your attention back to him. He handed you a key car with the room number and wifi password on the cardstock holder. 

“I’ll be in room 218, right next door. Should you need anything.” His words were punctuated with a small smile. You graciously accepted the room key, and went in the direction of the elevator. You had expected him to follow you, but upon looking back, you saw him opening the door for the stairs. What an odd man. 

Once on the second floor, you opened the door to your room. Not even bothering to turn on the lights and check it out, you dropped your purse to the floor and fell face first upon the bed. What a nice reprieve from such a decimating day. 

 From there you fell into the deepest sleep you were capable of while still being alive, fully dressed in shoes and all. 

***

The sunlight burst forth through the open curtains, welcoming you to the new day ahead of you. The passing of yesterday was so symbolic to you, especially now. Carpe diem, they say, and that’s what you were going to do. But before that, you had to find a way to get yourself out of bed. 

This was not normally a problem for you. Being a morning person for the last few years, you would always wake up before your alarm, ready for what the day had to bring. But now, you had nothing to get out of bed for. No prospects of a future beyond a child whose father you didn’t know. You badly needed a shower after the day you had yesterday. The need to wash off the events of that day was immense, but even that wasn’t enough to pull you out of this depression that held you down to the bed. 

So you laid there, staring at the ceiling like your life depended on it. Amidst all the change in the last 24 hours, you found comfort in the non-changing patterns of the plaster above you. Your eyes traced every outline, every imperfection you could find. Studying it like you were going  to be tested on it later. 

Your effort was soon interrupted by your stomach growling. It had been a while since you’d eaten anything, and if the tiny life inside you had grown legs already, you were sure you'd be kicked repeatedly until you fed the little thing. If something was going to get you out of bed, this was it. A slow sigh fell from between your lips as you made your way to the shower to get ready for whatever today brought.

***

You had remembered something about a free breakfast at the hotel, and you hoped you hadn’t gotten up too late for it. As you walked into the dining room, the first thing you noticed was the smell of freshly baked biscuits. What an amazing thing to start the day off with. You rushed to the end of the line, grabbing a plate, ready to pile it high with a hot breakfast. This was pure bliss, even if the eggs were powered. 

As you turned to find a place to sit, you spotted the strange man from yesterday sitting down at a table with a coffee mug in hand and muffin in front of him. He motioned you over with a small smile. Not wanting to be rude, you slowly walked over and took the seat across from him at the four-seater table. 

“I’m Josh. I realized I never introduced myself yesterday.” He was dressed the same, seemingly only having one set of clothes like you. Perhaps you were in similar situations. The thought was comforting, that you weren’t the only one with an up-ended life and searching for somewhere else. 

“Y/N, nice to have a name for the face.” He smiled bigger than he already was at your answer, having heard the first real sentence since you weirdly met come out of your mouth. He had this sunshine quality about him, almost as brilliant as the sun that signified the new day that you woken up to this morning. 

A silent set over the scene, not an uncomfortable one, but one that felt calming. Josh sipped his coffee, glancing at a newspaper that was off to his right on the table from time to time. You dug into your plate of food, relishing in its warmth and taste. As you were putting the pepper back at its spot atop the table, Josh’s melodic voice flooded your ears. 

“So where’re you headed? If you don’t mind me asking.” You took your time swallowing a bite of food, hoping in the meantime some lie about where you were going would pop into your head so you wouldn’t have to unpack all your baggage on him. But alas, you had nothing. So you settled for a partial truth,

“I don’t know.” It was good enough to make him hopefully not push further, but it wasn’t exactly the whole explanation. You couldn’t tell him about your fateful mistake, or about your ex-finance throwing you out on your own, or that you decided to keep the baby of a man you couldn’t remember the face of. You couldn’t tell him how you decided to run away from that place forever. You didn’t want to scare Josh away, even if you didn’t intend on sticking around long enough to form a friendship with him. 

“That's so funny! I’m in the same boat.'' His laugh seemed to fill the whole room, and his face practically glowed right along with him. Josh seemed so happy, even if he seemed quite lost amidst it all. Happy, but lost. How you wished that could be your disposition. “I have an idea, and you’re totally allowed to shoot me down, but why don’t we go on together?” He paused momentarily, before adding, “like a road trip to wherever the wind takes us.” His proposal came out of left field, and you’d really be getting into it if he was the serial killer type, but what other option did you have? You had no means of travel, and no money to stay here any longer. So, you took him up on it.

“Okay. Just promise you won’t murder me.” You smile wryly at your joke, the first smile since everything happened. He laughed right along with you, quickly promising he wouldn’t. Perhaps this would be fun, who knows. 

But no matter what, you couldn’t tell him how you got here. After being so vulnerable, you never wanted to be that way again. And as much as your heart told you not to, you would have to ditch him as soon as possible. Getting close was not an option. You were a lone wolf now.

“Listen, I don’t know your story, but I can’t help but feel we were meant to meet.” He added before taking another sip of his coffee. A small smile was your response as you felt your heart rise in your chest. This reaction was not welcomed, however. You would not make the same mistake twice.

[bitsandbobsandstuff]

The Midnight Coconuts

Summary: Bucky and his girl take a trip to the grocery store. Several things are involved, including coconuts, a 25cent gum-ball machine, Avengers branded Jell-O, chocolate milk straight from the jug, and tampons.  Characters: Bucky x Reader Words: 3k Warnings: Some swearing. Insane levels of fluff. Dangerously adorable Bucky. One (1) random reference to Not Another Teen Movie. 

A/N: Listen, I will never be over silly domestic Bucky! I originally started this story before TFATWS came out and when I imagined Sam had a niece, so just go with it. Part of me wrote this, because I needed to convince myself that I love grocery shopping (one can only eat takeaway and Trader Joe’s Orange Chicken for so long) and the other part wrote this because I firmly believe domestic routines can be the most romantic adventures out there.

When the doors to the grocery store whoosh open with a gust of stale manufactured air, Bucky skids to an abrupt and dramatic stop.  

“WAIT!”

Behind him, you stumble in panic, fumbling with an armful of reusable grocery bags. Instantly you’re imagining spilled blood and stab wounds and clean ups on aisle three and god dammit, how can there be a problem? This is a grocery store at midnight on a Wednesday. Shouldn’t the forces of evil be sleeping? Why is it so impossible to get a day off work? Don’t they know you need rest? And peanut butter? And that you’re dangerously low on toilet paper?

The forces of evil are the worst.

Raising weary fists, you huff.

“What? Where is it?”

Bucky sidesteps toward a row of small red and green machines beside the entrance, falling to his knees and smushing his nose eagerly against the glass. Reaching a hand behind him, there are several impatient grabby motions, before he glances back.

“Babe, can you give me a quarter? I need a gum-ball.”

Planting a sneaker clad foot on his ass, you shove. Hard.  

“Bucky, we talked about this. Remember how you agreed to lower the drama and keep things in perspective? I thought we were under attack.”

“If I don’t get a green gum-ball,” he declares dramatically, “there will be an attack.”

Throwing the cloth bags at his face, you stomp off to retrieve a shopping cart, plunking your purse in the front and hunching over the handlebars.  

“I thought you said you were a millionaire now. Buy your own gum-ball.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Like I carry loose change,” he scoffs. “C’mon, just one quarter. Please?”

This time, he gives you the Look. That patented Bucky Barnes stare, with the wide eyes and full pouty lips and faux innocent expression, and if this man wasn’t the love of your life you’d quite happily stab him in the heart.

Instead, you open your purse and fish out a quarter, flinging it at his frustratingly pretty face. It bounces off his forehead and he scoops it up with a grin.

“So just to clarify. You came to the grocery store covered in knives, but you forgot to bring money?”

Giving you an indulgent smile, he jams the quarter into the slot. With a twist and shake, a gum-ball rattles free, and Bucky crows with delight when he sees the green candy. He pops it in his mouth. 

“I didn’t forget. I made a conscious decision to remove the temptation. If I bring cash, I’ll spend it. You know I ain’t great with that whole self control thing.”

“How encouraging to hear, from the man with knives pouring out his ass.”  

Jumping to his feet, he throws an arm around your shoulders. 

“Ass knives sound painful.”

“Depends on how sharp they are,” you mumble, pulling a carefully folded sheet of paper from your jacket.

“Excuse you? My knives are always perfectly sharpened, thank you very much. What kind of expert assassin runs around with dull knives? Damn baby, it’s like you don’t even know me.”

Ignoring him, you flatten out the paper and smooth the edges, sighing happily at the block letters and structured diagrams drawn in deep blue ink. 

Here it is, your masterpiece. A monument to productivity. The gold standard by which all optimization models should be benchmarked. This isn’t just any list, this is The List.

Everything is grouped, first by aisle, then by product location within the aisle, and then from top to bottom shelf order, to maximize efficiency. This is the dream list. The kind that inspires jealousy. The kind people hold up at TED talks when they talk about time management techniques. Marie Kondo wishes she had this list. 

Bucky snorts when he sees the carefully printed boxes.  

“God, you’re such a square,” he says adoringly. He plants a sugary wet kiss on your temple and you grind an elbow into his ribs.

“We discussed this, Bucky. Don’t mock my lists.” 

“Sorry babe, I ain’t mocking. Your lists are beautiful, they always get me all hot and bothered,” he agrees, dipping lower to lick behind your ear. “And I really love that list you keep with all those dirty, filthy, sex things you wanna do to me.”

“I don’t have a list like that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky sighs, “and I don’t know how many more hints I can drop here.”

Reaching under his shirt, you rub his belly consolingly. “Okay then. This weekend I’ll sit down and make you a special list. One so disgusting and dirty and depraved, it would make Wade Wilson cry.”

Bucky laughs and squeezes you tighter. 

“About damn time honey. I’m equally parts terrified and horny. So where’re we headed first?”

“Produce,” you answer promptly, plowing forward, Bucky still chuckling beside you.

The whole scenario was ironic, actually. There was no need to grocery shop - automatic ordering mechanisms  across the Avengers tower rendered the task meaningless - but sometimes it was a welcome relief to partake in such an ordinary thing. Unable to sleep after one particularly terrible mission, you found yourself wandering the aisles of your 24-hour supermarket, dressed in pineapple adorned pajama pants and one of Bucky’s rattier sweatshirts, searching for ice cream. The unexpected symmetry of products arranged along the shelves, the rainbow hued produce, the hint of baking bread wafting from the ovens, all those everyday trappings of normality, they washed over like a soothing balm. Soon enough, the boiling bad thoughts simmered to nothing more than a cache of blurry memories.

When you got home, sleep came fast, deep and dreamless.

One month later, the idea struck again.

After 36 hours of Bucky tossing and turning, dark shadows bruising beneath weary blue eyes, you took his hand and led him down the dark street for a midnight adventure. He was skeptical, disbelieving that something so simple could chase away the insomnia. But he dutifully followed you, strolling aimlessly through the aisles, throwing odds and ends into the cart. 

The tension gradually eased, he began to relax, and suddenly? 

He was hooked.

An hour later, after arguing the health benefits of frosted Cheerios over oatmeal, poking each hunk of cheese in the display, and loading the cart with every single flavor of spaghetti sauce on the shelf, the heavy weight of remembering began to ease. When he collapsed into bed, he slept for eight hours straight.

I don’t know what that was, he swore the next morning, munching through his third bowl of frosted Cheerios, but it was magic.

And with that, a midnight ritual was born. Sometimes you make the trek alone, sometimes Bucky does the same, but whenever life permits you go together. This small slice of domesticity brings a warm comfort to this strange life.   

There is no doubt, this is your favorite area of the entire store.

Barrels filled with tart oranges and smooth red apples. Tables piled high with bananas, some just shy of yellow, others sunshine perfect, and a few with speckles of black (which are the best). Shelves lining the walls, overflowing with bundles of herbs and lettuce, all coated in a fine layer of mist. 

Bliss. 

Heading straight for the apples, you plunge into the Gala pile, rummaging until you come up with ten perfect ones. Peaches follow, fingers rubbing along the delicate pinky-orange fuzz. Squeeze, smell, squeeze, smell. Five are chosen for a pie (Sam pleaded shamelessly until you agreed to make him one), and in the cart they go. Heading toward the wall of herbs, you’re reaching for the basil when a metallic bang makes you jump. Spinning around, you find Bucky lobbing coconuts into the cart.

“We need these.”

“We really don’t, Buck. I hate coconut, it tastes like suntan lotion.”

“They’re not for eating,” he grabs an apple, wipes it on his shirt, and takes a juicy bite. “They’re for security.”

Sticky juice drips from his lip, catching in his beard. When you reach over to swipe it away, he nips your finger with a grin.

“Explain please.”

“See it’s like this. We’re just here shopping, doin’ our thang -”

“Don’t say thang.”

“- when someone attacks. What happens? BAM. One of these furry beauties breaks their face. Problem solved.”

Giving him a slow perusal, you raise an eyebrow.

“Were the 47 knives you’re carrying not enough to deflect this attack?”

Finishing off the apple in three sloppy bites, he carefully tucks the price sticker in his pocket so he can scan it before leaving and sets the mangled core beside your purse.

“Babe, these are my back-up plan. A good soldier always has a back-up plan.”

While you grab a bottle of extra-pulpy orange juice, Bucky picks two jugs of chocolate milk, snaps one open and takes a swing. Ever the thrifty shopper, he pulls a familiar bag from his back pocket, fishes out a crumpled piece of newspaper, and dangles it before you.

“Found a coupon for this,” he says gleefully. “Buy one, get one free. It’s called a BOGO. A BOGO. Hilarious, right? Fuck me, I love the future.”

Still laughing, he takes another long drink of chocolate milk and smacks his lips.

It was a lazy Sunday morning when you discovered this particular habit. Walking into the living room, you found Bucky buried in a sea of Sunday newspaper, tongue between his teeth and scissors in hand while he clipped coupons. He wasn’t picky, if it was remotely interesting, it went into the YES pile. It was one of those random things that brought him inordinate levels of joy, so of course you encouraged it. On his last birthday, you gifted him with a green zippered bag decorated with angry looking owls and official looking letters stitched across the front:

Bucky’s Coupon Bag  Thriftn’ Machine Since 1917

He laughed for five straight minutes and then stuffed it full. The bag accompanies you on every trip and the sight of Bucky excitedly rifling through his wad of coupons still makes your heart swell.  

Setting aside his BOGO, Bucky continues down the aisle, leaving you to pause in front of the yogurt. While you contemplate the merits of blackberry vs strawberry, Bucky slides over holding three cans of Reddi-Whip. 

“Are you actually planning to eat that? I thought you said whipped air is for, and I quote, ‘spineless, tasteless trash heathens’?”

Bucky shakes the can of spray whipped cream and wiggles his eyebrows, leveling you with a sultry stare. 

“Hell no I’m not eating it. This is for the bedroom. Last week I watched this god-awful movie where some blond guy - who looked exactly like Steve, by the way - made himself a whipped cream bikini for his girl. Decided I’m gonna do that for you. You’re welcome.”

“That sounds gross and unsanitary.” 

“If by gross and unsanitary you mean spicy and sexy, then yes. Yes it does.”

Whistling what sounds like the theme music from a bad porn, he adds two tubs of honey swirled Greek yogurt, pats your butt, and strolls ahead, throwing a roughish wink over his shoulder. Imagining the melted whipped cream soaking into your bedsheets, you mentally add more laundry detergent to the list.

“Hang on, turn here.”

Tugging the cart behind him, Bucky stalks toward the feminine hygiene display. It takes him a minute to scan the products before squatting down to the bottom shelf. Grabbing two jumbo boxes of tampons, oddly enough the brand you prefer, he pops back to his feet.  

“Dare I ask why you need these?”

A faint pink flush crawls up his neck.  

“Well, you know, two reasons. They’re really great for stopping bloody noses, you know? Just poke ‘em up there and they soak it all up.”

 He mimes the execution and adds a thumbs up.

“And the second reason?”

Squinting at his boots, he shuffles his feet a bit. The pink flush deepens. 

“Um, you know - I know you’re out, since I stuck the last one up Steve’s nose last week, and yeah. Anyway. It’s about that time. Of the month. For you.”

Clearing his throat, he reaches for his chocolate milk, but you grab his wrist.  

“You know when my period’s going to start?”

He shrugs self-consciously and fiddles with a loose thread on his shirt.  

“Well yeah. You think it’s just a coincidence when all your favorite candy shows up every month?” Looking up, he shoots you a crooked smile and leans over the cart to kiss your forehead. Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, you haul him in for a real kiss instead and his startled laughter tickles your lips. When you break away, those bright blue eyes are shining. 

“Thank you, Bucky,” you murmur.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” he whispers. 

This is the aisle where the cart officially explodes.

Lasagna noodles.

Egg noodles.

Spaghetti noodles.

Penne.

Linguine. 

Fettuccine.

Literally one of every noodle is selected, because Bucky Barnes is a self-proclaimed noodle slut. 

As you organize the boxes and search for orzo, you see him furtively add an extra bag of elbow macaroni. A quiet cough hides your laughter.

The last time Sam’s four-year-old niece came to the tower, she and Bucky spent hours making glittery elbow macaroni necklaces, which they ceremoniously gifted to everyone. When Sam casually mentioned her enthusiastically telling everyone at pre-school about her friend Bucky and how much fun she had visiting him, Bucky ran to a craft store and bulk bought supplies of glue, string, paint, and glitter, just in case she comes over again.

Months later and the entire team are still finding puddles of glitter all over the tower, but the delight on Bucky’s face anytime someone mentions that arts and crafts afternoon? 

It’s worth the mess.     

Gathering up brown sugar, instant oats, and chocolate chips, you turn to drop them in the cart when Bucky makes a strangled noise. Glancing over, you find him bouncing on his toes, vibrating with excitement.

“Babe. Babe. Are you making monster cookies?”

Adding a can of raisins, you search for the good vanilla. The kind that actually tastes like vanilla, not a cheap car wash air freshener. 

“I promised I would,” you remind him. Bucky plasters himself against your back, wrapping you in an enthusiastic hug and nuzzling his face against your neck.

“I love those fucking cookies,” he declares. “They’re my favorite thing ever. Next to you I mean.”

Finding the vanilla, you spin in his arms and return the squeeze.  

“I know you do. But you have to share them this time, okay? You can’t just eat them all yourself like the last two times. Agree?”

“Agree…to disagree. They’re wasted on other people, no one else loves as much. It’s for the best when I eat them all, it’s proof how much I love you. I’m doing it for you. I’m supporting you. Because I love you.”

“You’re completely full of shit,” you reply.

“I swear I’m not! Just listen!”

The excuses grow longer and wilder as Bucky outlines his rationale against sharing, walking backward and dragging the cart with him as he pleads his case. He’s diving into the science of super soldier metabolism levels and caloric requirements and the fact that his sister never shared anything with him, when he bumps into a tall display. 

He pulls up short, eyes narrowing. Plunking his fists on his hips, he growls a disgruntled sigh and glares at the rows of packaging. 

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Lined up in neat rows, you see boxes of Jell-O organized by color and flavor. On the cover of each are an assortment of familiar images.  

“Are these Avengers themed Jell-O?” you ask, picking up a box with Sam’s image and the words Wild Berry Wilson. The rows extend further, filled with Lime Green Hulk and Blue Raspberry Rogers and Black Cherry Widow and Strawberry Lemon Stark. Exasperated, Bucky grabs the Sparkling Orange Spider flavor. 

“Is this for real? The kid gets one and I didn’t? Someone in PR is getting fired.”

“Well there’re only so many flavors, Buck,” you point out practically, but Bucky’s not in the mood for logic. Instead, he swipes an entire shelf of Jell-O flavors into the cart.  

“I swear to god, I have to do everything around here. Fine then. I’ll make my own flavor, Blackberry Kiwi Soldier or Winter Watermelon Rainbow, or something.” He pauses thoughtfully. “Anyway, I’ll work on the name. But I’m bringing it to dinner tomorrow night and everyone is gonna eat it.”

He dumps in a bag of mini-marshmallows and grabs sprinkles for topping, before marching down the aisle. Cringing at the volume of sugar in the cart, you make another mental note to schedule a dentist appointment.

“Go do your manly duty and find the meat. We need two 5lb rump roasts.”

“I like your rump roast,” he instantly responds and reaches over to smack your butt again. Anticipating the move, you catch his arm and twist it behind his back. He barks out a breathless laugh and you slap his ass in return.

“Your innuendos are tragic.”

Releasing him with a gentle shove, Bucky snatches up his three coconuts and ambles away, laughing while he juggles them. When he returns, he has the requested rump roasts, several packages of bacon, and a bundle of cocktail shrimp.

“If my innuendos get better, then can I touch your butt?”

“Maybe. But they better be real good.”

An added benefit to shopping at midnight? Not a soul in line.

Loading everything onto the conveyer belt, you automatically organize for bagging. Boxes together, produce together, meat together. Bucky adds a pack of batteries, a tin of mints, and some trashy magazines.

The last three items in the cart are his coconuts. They rattle around until you toss them at him, motioning back to the produce department. 

“We made it out alive. Go put them back.”

Still chomping his tasteless green gum-ball, he shakes his head and plops them down. 

“Nah, I have another idea for them. Got all those craft supplies at home, I’m gonna make you something.”

“Should I even ask?”

Bucky blows a huge, wet bubble and looks you up and down.

“Have you every worn one of those coconut bras? Like on TV, with the ladies in grass skirts? I’m gonna make you one. I already have string and glue. And glitter.”

“I think you may be overestimating your crafting abilities.” Digging out your credit card, you wait for the final tally. 

“Well, if it’s terrible then you’ll just be naked. Either way, I win.”

Shaking out your grocery sacks, he packs everything with Tetris-like efficiency and slides all of them up the vibranium arm.   

“How about I make you a deal. I’ll wear a coconut bra, if you’ll make yourself something to wear as well.”

Bucky blows another sugary bubble, pondering the idea.

“Like a coconut man thong?”

“Exactly like a coconut man thong.”

“Deal. Add it to that special dirty list you’re making me honey. We got loads to do.” 

Outside, the night air smells sweet and cool, the barest hint of a spring rain and fresh grass lingering on the breeze. Already, your eyes are feeling heavy, tonight’s quiet adventure ushering in that sought after peace. 

In your right hand, the three coconuts swing gently in their plastic sack. Humming under his breath, Bucky yawns, reaching for your other hand. His warm, calloused palm squeezes tight, his thumb stroking lightly over your skin.

He turns to you with a sleepy, lopsided smile.

Midnight and coconuts.  

It always does the trick.

***

[bakuhoes-dumbass]

ABERRATION BOYS BIRTHDAY SPECIAL!

A/N: Hello my nerds, today is my Birthday! So to celebrate my unfortunate birth, I'm doing a special scenario post for my Ab!Boys!

~~

What do the boys from Aberration get you for your birthday?! (GN!Reader!)

These are NOT cannon to the storline.

Warnings: VERY DARK CONTENT. Yandere Headcannons ahead. Mentions of skinning, non-con cum-eating and video recording, stalking, murder, mutilation, manipulation, etc. If you are uncomfortable with these types of things, DO NOT READ. Proceed with caution, as I do not feel bad if you choose to do so while being warned.

MINORS DNI

~~~

Tokoyami

You're seated on the bed, staring at your simple but beautiful ankle bracelet Tokoyami bought for you. Smiling, you fiddle with the gems, entranced by the sparkle that reflects off them.

"Starlight?"

Your head snaps up to see your boyfriend sticking his head through the door way. A love-sick smile grows on your face. "Fumi, you're back!"

He chuckles before slipping through the door way and sits down on the bed, hands behind his back. "Do you remember what today is?" Your face scrunches up in thought before shaking your head. He sighs warmly at the cute look on your face. "Today's your birthday, my starlight. And I got you something."

Tokoyami moves his hands from behing him and your eyes light up upon seeing the book he hands you. "Fumi, thank you! It's beautiful." Your hand traces over the cover, following the lines of the ornate designs. "It looks so familiar..." you mumble.

Tokoyami swallows the lump in his throat. "It's one of a kind, love. Would you like me to read it to you?" He tries to steer the conversation away from your feeling of familiarity, not wantinf you to realize it's one of your old books from before he took you.

You nod excitedly and climb into his lap. His arms circle around you and hold you tight, as his thumb grazes over your anklet, eyes boring into the gems that track your every movement.

Kirishima-

"Happy Birthday to my Pebble~ Happy Birthday to my Pebble~"

You glare at the redhead smiling and dancing in front of you as you tug at your restraints. A low huff leaves your lips. "Can you stop? I don't want you celebrating my birthday."

Kirishima stops dancing and gives you a puppy-dog stare. "But why? It's the day my beautiful wife was born! It should be a day to rejoice!"

"Kirishima, I'm not your wife! I'm nor your girlfriend! I'm not anything to you!" You sit up in the bed you were restrained to, only able to move so far forward. "You drugged me, kidnapped me and are currently holding me against my will."

Kirishima watches with a mixture of sadness and anger at your defiant attitude. He hates it when you struggle. He doesn't understand why you're so reluctant to be here! With him! Your husband! That's when he remembers your gift.

"Oh! This is a perfect time to give you your birthday present!"

He drops to his knees and crawls under the bed. You hear rummeging underneath you and your terror spikes. You knew what he kept under the bed, so this couldn't be good. As he comes back up, he's holding a pair of black leather cuffs.

"Surprise! I got you new cuffs!" He climbes onto the bed and straddles you. "These are so cool because instead of being just normal cuffs, they have these two little metal rivets that will shock you whenever I want!"

Your eyes widen and your mouth opens to scream. Kirishima is quick, however. He grabs your face with his hand, hardening it so your scream is muffled. His face geta closer to yours, that sickening grin never leaving.

"Baby, you don't like it? Do you want something else? Don't worry! I have another gift in mind. How about a fresh, bloodied heart that was ripped out of the chest of that mean boss of yours?"

Hawks

"You see this right here?" Your cowroker holds her hand out, showing you and your fellow employees her brand new diamond ring. "He finally proposed! It was about time. It took him awhile to get an ACTUAL ring worthy of me, though. But it's so expensive and beautiful, EEP!"

Keigo watches as you roll your eyes for the thousandth time. He could tell you were getting annoyed, and I mean, who wouldn't? Your coworker has always been a complete bitch to everyone, a lot directed at you.

"Oof, it just sucks that Y/N can't seem to find someone. That's probably the only way they'll be able to look a little less," she looks you up and down. "Er, homeless."

Keigo watches from his perch as you flip her off snd walk away. His hands clench tightly into fists, desperately wanting to knock a bitch out. That's when it hit him. It was your birthday today! And now he knew just what he wanted to gift you.

~~~

"Bye guys, and thank you!"

You wave to your friends after they drop you off at home. They had taken you out for dinner for your birthday and you bad fun. Definitely something you needed after the crappy morning you had.

As you walk up to your door, you notice a small package waiting for you outside. You smile, wondering of it was your long distance partner sending you a birthday gift. You carefully open the package, but once you see the contents, a scream is ripped out of your throat and you stumble away from the box.

Inside, what a severed finger with an absolutely beautiful diamond ring still on it. You failed to notice a small blood-covered note flitter to the floor.

'Happy Birthday, babybird. I hope you like it.'

Tamaki

Tamaki stares at you from behind a tree. He's been following you for a few hours now, just basking in all your wonderful glory. He stares at you with nothing but pure love and adoration in his eyes, wishing he could actually get up the nerve to speak to you.

Finally you're off of work and headed home. He really hates seeing you talk to all those really pretty people. What if you were to get a partner?! That wasn't him?! He whimpers at the thought, hands clenching and unclenching.

"Y/N!"

The sound of your name snaps him out of his thoughts. He watches as your friend, whom he deemed not-a-threat yet, skip up to you.

"Are you doing anything for your birthday tomorrow?"

Tamaki's face turns pale. Your birthday! How could he forget the most important day of his life?! The day his precious bunny was born. You would be so disappointed in him. He reluctantly scrambles away from his hiding spot and runs home to get your gift.

~~~

"Oh?"

You stand in your doorway, a package sitting on your front steps. You tilt your head in curiosity and pick it up. Opening it up, you find the most adorable stuffed bunny you've ever seen. And a note.

"Y/N, Happy Birthday! I hope you like this bunny, I thought if you when I saw it. Love, your secret admirer."

You squeal slightly and hug the soft fluff, thinking this was from your flirty coworker. You bring it up to your room and sit it on your bed next to your other stuffies.

Tamaki stares at the screen on his phone, his face bright red at the hug you gave the stuffed bunny. It actually felt like you were hugging him! His happiness was through the roof. He knew you would love it!

But his attention now is back on you as he watches you slowly take your clothes off, one by one, to get ready for bed. His tongue practically falls out of his mouth, watching your bare back closely.

One day, he swears he won't have to watch through the camera.

Overhaul

Chronos watches you closely over the top of his book. You glare at him with tears in your eyes while huddled up in the furthest corner of your human sized cage. Hugging your knees tighter to your chest, you turn your gaze away with a sniffle.

"You know the boss wouldn't want you to cry on your birthday."

You roll your eyes and grip you legs tighter. "I doubt someone who keeps a human in a cage really cares about when they want to cry." You sigh. "Besides, he probably doesn't even give a shit if it's my birthday. I don't even give a shit, at this point."

"Of course I care."

The hair on your body stands up on end as the voice of your captor appears. Fear shoots through you upon seeing his masked face. In one hand he has a gift bag, the other stuffed in his pocket.

"Why wouldn't I care about my pet's birthday?"

He squats to unlock the cage and gestures you over with his finger. You swallow the lump in your throat and crawl out to him, knowing the consequences if you don't follow his rules. He sits down in his chair and pats the side of his thigh for you to kneel next to him.

He opens the gift bag and pulls out a dog collar. A part of you wanted to gag at the thought of being collard to this maniac. But another part of you couldn't help but think how absolutely gorgeous and expensive this collar looked.

"Oh, it's beautiful... Master." You wanted to slap yourself for calling him that, but you had no choice. The last thing you want is to be punished.

Kai hums with approval at your words before buckling the collar around your neck. He finsihes it off with a small padlock to the back, so no one can remove it except for him. A gloves finger grazes over your neck in admiration before looking over to Chronos.

"Prep them for a routone cleaning."

The calmed state you were in was once more replaced by terror. "No, please Master! I've been good, I promise! Please dont do this!" You scramble backwards, away from the two masked men. But Kai was quick and hooked his fingers under your collar, dragging yoi back to him.

"You know this is a must, pet. I need to make sure every inch of you is cleansed before I send any more time with you." He taps the side of your collar with his free hand. "And there is no use attempting to run away. This will forever track any movement you make from here on out."

Kai throws your body over to Chronos, who throws your struggling self over his shoulder.

"Oh, and Happy Birthday, my pet."

Shoto

"Darling~"

You stir in your bed, hearing your boyfriend's voice.

"Darling, wake up~"

Eyes open to see a blurry red and white haired man softly smiling down at you. You stretch your body out and yawn with a cute smile.

"Mmmm Sho, good morning~"

Shoto sighs softly, admiring your beautiful features. "Guess what day it is today. It's a very special day."

You tolt your head, trying to remember the exact date but you are the sure. It's been while since time actually mattered.

"It's your birthday, darling! Happy Birthday! I've got something fun planned for you~"

You sit up, your chains rattling against the bed frame. "You do? I'm so excited! What is it?"

Shoto holds up his black card. "We're going shopping. I'll be getting whatever your heart desires."

Your eyes widen. "Wait, does that mean I actually get to go out? Really?!"

Shoto's smile falters before returning to a softened look. Slight guilt flashes in his eyes. "Darling, you know I can't let you go outside. It's not safe. No, we're doing online shopping~" Shoto grabs his phone and crawls behind you, sitting you in his lap. "Here lets look through some sights and get you some cute stuff."

"I want my darling to have everything they want, so they don't want to leave~"

Dabi

"Mouse."

You stay huddled up in the corner of the room, knees to your chest, not even daring to look at him. Dabi frowns at your defiant behavior. He knows he took you without your permission, but that was so long ago. Shouldn't you have been broken in by now?

"Little Mouse."

You continue to rock back and fourth on the floor, chains clanking together. Dabi sighs, annoyance starting to eat at him. He walks over to you and grabs yoi by the throat, lifting you up.

"You are to respond when I'm speaking to you. Understand?" You let out a little squeak and quickly nod your head with widened eyes. He sits you down on the bed and gives you a lazy smile. "That's better. Now, I have something for you."

He opens the closet door to bring out a box. He places it in front of you. "Happy Birthday, my little mouse."

"Oh, yeah. That's today." You mumble quietly. Kmowing Dabi, this gift was going to have some sort of catch but curiosity got the better of you. But curiosity turned into regret immediately as you throw the lid and scream.

Inside the box were a pair of boots. But they weren't jusf any pair of boots, they were handmade. It was human skin staples together, making them look just like Dabi himself.

"What, does my little mouse not like them?" He smirks before climbing on the bed. He grabs your legs and pulls you down towards him with a manic look on his face.

"That's fine. How about I burn my name into you instead?"

Bakugo

"KATSUKI!"

You jolt up in bed, suddenly awakened by a nightmare. Looking next to you, you see your boyfriend's side of the bed empty. A whimper escapes your lips as yoi trt to calm your racing heart.

"Angel?!" The door to the bedroom slams open, Bakugo's quirk popping in his hands and waiting to attack whomever touched his precious angel. He looks around frantically but notices nothing except your heavy breathing and sweat covered body. "Are you alright? What happened?"

You motion towards him with a sniffle and grabby hands. "I had a dream that you locked me back up in the basement again for days, without you." He comes sits next to you on the bed and pushes the hair out of your sweat covered face. "It was dark and silent and terrifying. Please don't do that again! I would miss you! I've been good, I promise!"

Bakugo sighs and pulls you into a hug. "I know, Angel. You've been doing so well, I'm so proud of you." He plants a kiss on your head as you relax into his arms. "I have a surprise for you actually. Stay right here."

You nod your head, watching him leave the room for a moment, your ankle tugging on the chain that attached you to the bed. I mean, it's not like you would get very far. Bakugo comes back in with a plate of cake and a candle.

"Happy Birthday, my beautiful angel."

Your eyes light up as he sets the piece of cake in front of you. You blow out the candle and take a bite, savoring the taste. "Kats, this is so good! The cake is so fluffy and the frosting is creamy and sweet. Thank you!"

Bakugo watches you with a lovesick grin on his face. He goes to adjust the tightness in his pants as he watches you devour his specially made cake without hesitation.

Denki

"Yeah, it's been super weird. I've been finding these little pieces of jewelry on my bed almost every night the past week."

You continue cleaning the counter as you explain to your cowroker the weird things that have been happening to you. She gives you a strange look.

"Are you sure you haven't misplaced your jewelry on your bed and just forgot?"

You turn your head to give her a dumbfounded look. "Uh, yeah. I think I would remember putting jewelry I've nevee seen before on my bed at the same time every night."

"Well, I don't know! It's just so weird. I don't have any other rational explanation." She suddenly gasps. "What if you have a stalker?!"

"Shh, don't say things like that." You hiss at her but a part of you is wondering if that might be true.

After your shift ends, you wave goodbye and begin your journey home. Unbeknownst to you, an energetic blonde watches as you walk home, excited for you to see your final birthday gift.

Once you step through the door of your house, something feels off. Having a weird feeling, you immediately but slowly make your way to your bedroom and turn on the lights. That's when you see a small but long white box placed on your bed, this time with a note. You carefully open the box to reveal a gorgeous necklace with a small black and yellow lightning bolt charm. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you reluctantly open up the note, hoping to finally uncover some answers.

"Happy Birthday, my dear. You can call me Kaminari. And soon, you will be all mine."

Midoriya

*Click*

You turn around upon hearing the closing of a camera shutter but see nothing. Thinking it's all in your head, you shrug and continue to walk to your parents for your birthday dinner.

"Shit, that was too close." Midoriya mumbles under his breath as he hides in a set of bushes just beyond your vision. He scrolls through his camera roll, looking through every single shot to make sure he's got what he needs.

"These aee perfect! Oh they're going to love it!" He checks to make sure you're long gone before he scrambles out of his hiding spot and runs home to make your gift.

~~~

You unlock the door to your house and step inside with a sigh. As much as you love your birthday and seeing your family, sometimes they can be a little much. Now it's time for you to sit back and relax. You change into your pajamas and turn on your comfort movie with a drink in hand, when suddenly your doorbell rings.

"Who the hell is here at 10 at night?"

You carefully peek through the peep hole in your door, not seeing anyone. Slowly, you open the door and look down to see a neatly wrapped gift. You know you probably shouldn't take a strange gift off of your doorstep, but curiosity gets the better of you.

Taking it back to your livingroom, you open it to reveal a scrapbook. Anxiety raises through your body as you open the first page. Eyes widen in horror the further you flip through, non-consentual pictures taken of you and your family litter the pages. Not only are there ones from being out in public, but private, intimate moments that no one should have seen. But the moment you found a lock of your hair glued to one of the pages was the moment you called the police.

Shinso

Shinso squats infront of you as you stare at him with dead eyes.

"Kitten, I have a surprise for you today."

You shake your head, mumbling. "I don't want it."

Shinso caresses your cheek with his hand before giving it a quick slap. You try ti3 jerk your head away but he grips your cheeks, squishing them together. "Stop being a brat, you don't even know what it is yet. Now, stand up."

You don't even get a chance to stand up yourself as Shinso hauls you up by your face. "I'm taking you out for your birthday."

Your eyea widen in fear and you shake your head. "N-No, please. I'd rather stay here. L-Let's do something together here. Please."

Shinso clicks his tongue. "Come now, kitten. I'm letting you go outside. We don't do this very often, it's a special treat. Is it not?"

You shake your head. "Please, no, everytime you take me out you-"

You go silent, mind fogged over and once again, under his control. There are moments when he mind-controls you to where you don't remember anything the morning after and those moments are awful. But when he feels like being extra cruel? He finally takes you outside, taking you out to eat, to see a movie, to go shopping. You're under his control the entire time but you remember everything. You are right there, fully aware of whats happening around you but can't do anything to ask for help, to save yourself. And it's terrifying

A tear rolls down your cheek as you follow him out the front door, his hand in yours. He smirks, knowing you could never leave him.

"Happy Birthday, Kitten."

[teklarn]

hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')

would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.

it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 

genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 

warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 

word count: 3,859 

(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 

- - - 

part 2 is here my loves <3

brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 

what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 

it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 

just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 

his leg was bouncing eagerly. 

bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 

you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 

“y/n! come look at this!” 

you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 

it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 

“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 

all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 

that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 

you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 

deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 

“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 

“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 

“holy—” 

“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 

“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 

dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 

your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 

his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 

she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 

his eyes bore into yours. 

“did you...need something?” 

your voice broke his trance. 

“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 

bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 

it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 

“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 

he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 

soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 

late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 

“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”

the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 

“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 

this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 

bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 

unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 

“shitty hair, let go of me.” 

“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 

bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 

bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 

“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 

“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 

luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 

bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 

- 

“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 

denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 

“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 

denki sighed, slumping back. 

dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 

yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 

aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 

todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 

the brunette grinned. “great!” 

the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 

“bakugou.” 

bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 

“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 

you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 

it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 

bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 

“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 

“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 

you laughed. “what?” 

“shut up.” 

“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 

“i said shut the hell up!”

“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 

so you had heard him! 

he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 

“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 

gosh he loved that about you. 

bakugou caught his thought in the air. 

ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 

you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 

he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 

purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 

he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.  

your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 

the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 

bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 

that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 

you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 

it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 

another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 

he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 

you stood over him, hands on your hips. 

vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 

“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 

“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 

“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 

you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 

- 

the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 

bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 

you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 

“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 

you barely grunted in response. 

“don’t ignore me.” 

“i heard you, mom.” 

“the hell did you call me?” 

no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 

“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 

“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 

it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 

the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 

“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 

you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 

“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 

“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 

“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 

“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 

“you’re annoying.” 

“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 

- 

the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.

you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 

landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 

bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 

it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 

it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 

the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 

you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 

you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 

you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 

you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 

“fight me again,” he demanded. 

“excuse me?” 

“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 

“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 

“so?”

“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 

“you’re being stubborn.” 

“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 

“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 

“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 

bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 

“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 

-

it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 

“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 

“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 

“dude...that sounds really weird.” 

“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 

- 

the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 

gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 

bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 

bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 

perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 

what was so...amazing about deku? 

it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 

you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 

sixty. percent.

bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 

you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 

his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 

“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 

he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 

bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 

you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 

his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 

in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 

“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 

“okay? is that it?” 

what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 

“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  

“...what?” 

gosh dammit, as friends? 

“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 

although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 

this earned a snicker from you. 

his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 

your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 

“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 

he swallowed. 

you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 

he leaned closer. “yes?” 

“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 

it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 

“oh, alright.” 

“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 

it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 

perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 

right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 

[rocorambles]

Lost and Found

Pairing: Yuji x Reader

Summary: You’ve always wondered what happened to that pink haired boy who had become your closest friend in the very early years of your life and you finally get the answers you’ve been searching for.

A/N: This is for the Anilysium Server’s SFW collab. Masterlist can be found here!

The first thing you notice about Yuji is his pink hair. There are lots of kids your age playing in the park, laughing and talking to each other in the sandbox, on the swings, at the playground. But it’s that shocking head of pink that grabs your attention and with childish innocence and curiosity you make a beeline for the boy you don’t know, ignoring your mom’s warning to stop running. And it’s with embarrassment that your mom chases after you, profusely apologizing to Yuji’s grandfather when you grab a tuft of that soft pink hair in your little fist in awe.

But fortunately for the both of you, the older man just smiles and waves away your mom’s mortification and Yuji giggles, light brown eyes sparking as he grabs a strand of your hair in return, commenting on its color.

It might be the strangest greeting either adult has ever seen, but it seems to work as you both release each other’s hair and instinctively reach for each other’s hands as you race towards the sandbox, chattering about what the two of you can build together with the little plastic buckets and shovels sprawled about.

Yuji’s always been a social child, boys and girls naturally drawing towards his sunny disposition and outgoing nature. So it’s not shocking to see how quickly he’s befriended you. But what is interesting is how attached he is to you and his grandfather smiles in amusement when Yuji instantly searches for you first when he goes to the park each day, flat out ignoring the excited cries from his other friends to join them, either perking up or pouting depending on if you’re there or not. And to both his and your mother’s entertainment, you seem equally enamored. The two adults exchange knowing smiles when you practically drag your mom into a sprint upon seeing your new best friend.

Your parents take turns taking you to the park depending on their work schedules and on the weekends the three of you all go, enjoying a day off as a family. The Itadoris get to know both your parents well and the adults picnic and chat amicably and easily as Yuji and you romp and run around the park.

But it was only a matter of time before your curiosity got the better of you and for once Yuji is quiet when you ask him why it’s always his grandpa who brings him to the park.

“Where’s your mommy and daddy?”

There’s no malicious intent and you quirk your head in confusion when he doesn’t immediately answer what seems like an easy question to you.

“I don’t have a mommy and daddy.”

You’re not sure what to do or think of that reply, so you easily move on to your next question full speed ahead in a way only children can, leaving the weird feeling surrounding Yuji and you far behind. And this time it’s Yuji’s turn to cock his head in confusion with your next inquiry.

“Do you want to get married when you’re older?”

“Married? What’s that?”

“Married like my mommy and daddy! It’s when two people really like each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.”

The concept of a mom and dad aren’t foreign to Yuji. He knows it’s normal, knows he’s the odd man out even at his young age with only a grandpa to take care of him. But he’s never dwelled too much on why he doesn’t have a pair of parents, fully satisfied and happy living with his grandpa.

But marriage...that’s a new concept he can’t quite understand, something he’s never seen firsthand or grown up with in the household. And he listens in awe as you ramble on with your explanation.

Is that why your parents always seem so happy together? Is that why grandpa sometimes seems so sad? Because he isn’t married? Yuji wants to be happy too!

“Let’s get married!”

You stare wide-eyed at the enthusiastic boy staring intently at you, surprised by the decisiveness in his tone.

“I really like you and I want to play together with you forever!”

Well when he puts it like that…

You grab his hands in yours and excitedly nod your head.

“I really like you too! Let’s tell my parents and your grandpa!”

Three sets of mouths gape at the two of you when you determinedly stand in front of where the adults are seated, hands entwined as you announce that the two of you are going to get married. And then there’s laughter and your parents and Yuji’s grandfather are cooing and shaking their heads in amusement at how adorable the two of you are.

“Marriage is for when you’re older, so Yuji and you have to wait a little longer until you get married, okay?”

“Okay!” you both scream before running off to play on the slide, promise already pushed to the back of your little heads as you shriek and giggle about who can get down the slide faster.

Life continues on and despite how months pass and then years, the two of you never tire of each other, only seeming to become closer and closer. So it makes it that much more jarring when Yuji suddenly disappears.

Your parents don’t know what to do, cursing themselves for not exchanging numbers with Yuji’s grandfather and their hearts break watching you patiently sit alone on a park bench, refusing to play with or meet anyone else, telling everyone you’re waiting for your best friend. They hope it’s just a one day thing, but one day becomes two, two becomes three, and when Yuji and his grandfather never appear for an entire month, you also stop going to the park, the location only causing you more distress than good.

Fortunately this happens not too long before you enter middle school and your parents sigh in relief when you become too busy acclimating to a new school environment and making new friends to continue crying over the sudden loss of your best friend. Sadness is more fleeting in your youth and they’re grateful for this, warmly welcoming the new friends you bring back home after school to study with.

You never forget Yuji. You don’t think you could ever completely forget the boy who had been your first ever close friend. But he begins to become a distant fond memory, a mystery you think you’ll never solve. You think of him from time to time, especially as you get older and gossip about cute boys in high school, giggling and asking each other how many kids you want when you’re older, who you’re going to marry.

A wistful smile spreads across your face and you remember how sure you had been as a child that Yuji was going to be your husband, confident promises from two children who didn’t know the first thing about marriage and love. You wonder what he looks like now. Is he as happy and easygoing as he used to be? Is he as loud and talkative? Does he have a girlfriend?

You get your answer sooner than you had expected and you freeze in the middle of the busy Tokyo streets when a familiar shock of pink hair enters your line of sight. The boy’s back is turned to you and you tell yourself you’re being overdramatic. It’s Tokyo. People dye their hair all types of colors now. So what if someone else has pink hair?

But your heart tells you differently. It’s been over a decade since you’ve seen that little boy, but you swear it’s the same exact shade of pink you remember grabbing in your tiny hands back then. And before rationality can catch up to your soul, your body is already moving, drawing closer and closer to that broad back.

“Yuji?”

The name comes out softer than you intended and you wonder if he heard you. But then he’s turning and your throat begins to choke as a pair of familiar light brown eyes lock with yours. There are millions of people in Tokyo, hundreds swarming around the two of you as they make their way to the next destination. But at this moment, it’s only the two of you and before you know it he’s rushing towards you and you gasp at the feeling of a calloused thumb gently brushing your face.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s really you.”

You don’t even realize the tears streaming down your face that Yuji is desperately trying to wipe away. Oh, that’s why he looks so blurry right now and you give him a happy watery smile before flinging your arms around him, soul at peace when you feel him return the embrace.

He’s so different from the young boy you knew. Taller, bigger, stronger. And yet, despite the many years that have passed, you can’t help but feel like not much has really changed at all. It feels completely natural for him to lace his fingers with yours like he used to and you let him lead you to a nearby cafe where he prattles on and on about what he’s been up to since you last saw him.

It feels surreal, like a rose tinted dream, and you tightly clutch at his hand even when you’re seated across from each other, afraid that if you let go, he’ll disappear and you’ll wake up all alone again. Turns out he’s just as talkative as he used to be and you find comfort in the familiarity of his tone despite the fact that his voice is a few decibels lower.

His grandfather suddenly got so sick that they needed to send him to a hospital and with no other adults to take care of Yuji, he couldn’t go to the park and tell you what had happened. You only cry harder when Yuji becomes teary eyed himself when he tells you how he went to the park almost everyday when he was old enough to go himself in middle school, hoping to find you so he could explain what had happened all those years ago. And Yuji joins your watery breakdown when you tell him how you waited a month for him (eternity for a young child), how you sat alone and never played with anyone else because you were always hoping that he’d show up again.

When your drinks and food arrive, you sniffle and laugh, drying your eyes, one hand each still firmy locked in each other’s grasp on the table.

“No more crying. We’re going to make up for lost time.”

Your parents are stunned when you bring Yuji back home with you that day and there’s more crying when they find out what had happened and of Yuji’s grandfather’s death. But they’re quick to welcome back the boy in their little family and Yuji becomes a common sight in your household and at your dining table, joining your families for meals and birthdays, studying with you, watching anime and playing video games late into the night, helping your mom with cooking and your dad with chores around the house. And the confirmation that he’s part of the family is only solidified when your parents tell you that all four of you will be going to visit Yuji’s grandfather’s grave together to pay your respects.

There’s not a single dry eye as you all picnic and sit in front of the tombstone and Yuji gratefully accepts the forehead kisses and hugs your parents shower him with, never once letting your hand go as you chat to Itadori-san’s spirit. You give your parents some alone time, letting them talk at length to the old man they had grown so close to while Yuji and you had played.

The two of you reminisce on those carefree days, teasing each other about who can build a bigger sandcastle now. You giggle and ask him if he remembers promising to marry you, joking about how silly and innocent the two of you were then. And you turn to Yuji, expecting to see him laughing with you, but there’s not a hint of humor on his face as he resolutely stares at you, light brown eyes concentrated as they gaze at you.

“I still want to marry you.”

You gape at him, waiting for him to break character, laugh and make fun of your dumbfounded expression. But it never comes and instead he tentatively grabs your hands, holding them in his, thumbs brushing soothingly over your trembling knuckles.

You’ve never seen Yuji nervous before. You don’t think you even thought it was possible for him to be afraid of anything. But standing in front of you, light brown eyes uncharacteristically flitting about as he tries to find adequate words, he looks so vulnerable, so sincere, so genuine. And you wait with bated breath, hope fluttering in your chest.

“I like you, like really like you. I know I said that when we were kids, but it’s still true, just like it was true back then. We lost a decade together and I know we’re still making up for that lost time, but I can’t help but feel like what we have hasn’t changed a bit. If anything I like you even more now…”

He trails off and your chest feels like it’s about to burst in fondness when you watch him trail off, uncertainty and embarrassment obvious in the way he shifts from foot to foot, a pink flush gracing his cheeks.

“I like you too, Yuji. Like...really like you.”

You giggle at the pout he gives you at the teasing tone of your voice as you use his words against him. But then it’s your turn to shift your weight from side to side as you also try to wrap your tongue around the feelings Yuji’s stirred inside of you since your reunion.

“I think I know exactly what you mean. We aren’t little kids who only run around and play in sandboxes and playgrounds anymore. There’s a giant gap between then and now that we’re trying to bridge. But I feel like reuniting at this age and seeing how well and easily we connect even now only makes me like you even more. It’s like our souls have grown together in a way despite the distance, like we were always destined to be joined at the hips.”

You stifle a chuckle at the way Yuji perks up, looking all the world like an eager puppy who’s spotted their precious owner, anxious energy surrounding him as he waits on your next words.

“So I guess what I’m saying is TBD on marriage, but if you’ll have me, I’d like to try dating.”

Your sentence isn’t even fully complete before you watch in mortification and giddiness at how quickly Yuji drops to one knee, the picture perfect of a man about to propose (if it weren’t for both your high school uniforms making it very obvious that this isn’t a typical marriage proposal).

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

There’s only one answer and you simply utter a “yes” that turns into a squeal as Yuji practically lunges at you, sweeping you in his arms and twirling you around.

[acerace]

...you have opened my eyes to a vast universe of VintageBeef lore that I was unaware of. I knew about the New Hermit Order, of course, and the UHC invention, and I've watched a few of his CTM things but -- I will take all the info and lore you feel like giving out because Beef is amazing and my knowledge is so small.

Vintagebeef my beloved <3

So the thing is, right, until about 2016 I only watched two (2) youtubers- Vintagebeef for Minecraft and aDrive for Pokemon (and funnily enough both of them are named Dan irl). So I've watched most of Beef's videos over the years and have a general knowledge of most of his stuff, except because it's been like a decade I don't remember where most of the lore comes from XD

The thing with him is that he doesn't do Lore tm the way other mcyters often do lore- he doesn't have an extensive RP series to draw from like Grian, doesn't have a solo world with steadily increasing amounts of lore like Etho or Zisteau, and while he's played on SMPs and been involved in storylines before it's not really the focus of his episodes unlike with Evo or Legacy or Empires

So where does that leave us?

IRL, Beef always has multiple series running at the same time. Often he's playing on an smp while doing a singleplayer, often modded, series as well as a CTM or modpack with a group of friends. For example, right now he's playing on Hermitcraft, doing weekly Pixelmon and Building a Zoo episodes, and a CTM map with Slip. And to me, this translates to one thing: Beef is an adventurer. He travels frequently- he explores a world and when he decides he's done, he leaves for the next one. That's the basis of my personal interpretation of his series and his character for my writing.

Ok so reading this back, this got extremely long and didn't explain much in the way of lore, somehow? If anyone has any additions to add please do so, I am very definitely leaving out a lot and would love to see what other lore people remember and are using for Beef! I didn’t include the Hermitcraft stuff since my memory of season 4 is blurry (his base was themed after the Martian, that much I know, and he and Iskall were buddies :D) and most of the s5 NHO lore is best watched from Bdub’s perspective from what I remember, and the only s6 stuff is a single line in Hermitgang and then the Area 77 arc with its possibility of an NHO reunion which we did not get rip. And s7 of course had the cloning machine and also the Podzol Party as the main lore. So all the original rambling is still below the cut though it is very long, and I'm gonna bullet point the main stuff here instead:

Actual canonical things:

Invented UHC and was the only survivor of the first ever uhc (Mindcrack UHC s1)

Married to an ender dragon (one of the UHCs I think), later father to a different dragon (Mindcrack season 3? I think?)

Might not have legs if you choose to take that joke as canon (Mindcrack s2)

Was a wizard (RAD)

is a zookeeper (Building a Zoo) 

Had a wife and kids (Sims in Minecraft)

Part of the Trial of the B Team court case (Mindcrack)

NHO founder, founder of the Podzol Party (Hermitcraft)

Created a cloning machine that sort of works (Hermitcraft)

Played the Forest which is I believe the first time he and Keralis played together (look up the trigger warnings for this one, it's a horror game)

Was the creator/owner of Sourceblock SMP (featuring some familiar faces if you know Legacy, Empires, or MCC) and there is literal magic from a mysterious sourceblock of water that teleports people and summons mobs and probably more stuff that I haven't seen yet since I'm still watching it myself

Things you can infer:

Good with animals (Life in the Woods, Pixelmon, Ark)

Is a car nerd (irl and all of the car games he's played)

Is a highly experienced adventurer who has traveled through dozens of worlds both vanilla and modded, across multiple dimensions (Twilight Forest, the Aether, the Betweenlands, Limbo), completed dozens of monuments, fought in blood sports, survived apocalypse after apocalypse, tamed dinosaurs, and played a lot of prop hunt and golf with your friends

If you're looking for what to watch for lore purposes, I'd say the Mindcrack UHCs and Team Canada's RAD series are pretty good, definitely Sourceblock and HC s5, plus the Diversity CTM maps and Ruins of the Mindcrackers maybe? And Mindcrack Prank Wars for the chaos and the origin of Team Canada. And if you can handle horror than the Forest is fun and if you don't do horror you can watch the Pojkband play golf or prop hunt they're hilarious I love them sm I want a Pojkband reunion So Bad 

Beef's first series was a singleplayer series in beta 1.4_01 though he had played the game extensively before that, and was a big fan of Guude, having watched his own Minecraft videos. The series was functionally a hardcore one where if he died Beef would delete the world and start again! I haven't actually Watched this series so idk if he died or how often lmao. When Guude made Mindcrack, which was btw one of the very first Minecraft SMPs, he also hosted a competition for people to join, and Beef submitted a video (which is still viewable on his channel I believe!) and won, and was added to Mindcrack in season 2 :D (fun fact, Guude said that even if Beef hadn’t won he would have added him anyway) 

Two running jokes emerged from Mindcrack- pulling a Vintagebeef and Beef doesn't have legs. The first is a reference to Beef dying of fall damage (I believe the exact instance was him trying to jump into his swimming pool and failing spectacularly) and after the incident, every time someone died of fall damage they were pulling a Vintagebeef. The second joke comes from Guude, who joked that the reason Beef wasn't going to a convention was because he didn't have legs, and then he pranked Beef's base by building a giant pair of legs at the entrance to his castle so you had to walk between them to get into the base. This joke has long since died and both Beef and Guude feel pretty bad about it iirc because there were people who genuinely thought Beef was disabled and were emailing him supportive messages and stuff oops. So if you go looking on the Salad or find old Mindcrack fics, you might see references to Beef having prosthetic legs!

Mindcrack also brought about the creation of several Player groups- Team Nancy Drew, Team Canada, and GOB to name a few relevant to Beef. Team Nancy Drew consists of Beef, Pauseunpause, Guude, and Baj, who formed to investigate a prank on one of the members but I forget who. They're named Nancy Drew after the detective! Team Canada also formed in retaliation to pranks, with it consisting of Beef, Etho, and Pause, the three Canadian members on the server (not including Adlington who moved to Canada but never joined the group). There was also a Team America who pranked them with American flags everywhere. GOB is Guude, OMGChad, and Beef, who played stuff like the Ragecraft, Pantheon, and Monstrosity ctms together but that's way down the line lol

Team Nancy Drew is also notable for inventing UHC. It was Beef's brainchild but it was the four of them who first played it! The first UHC had the four of them working to kill the dragon with no natural regen, with everyone dying but Beef, who "won" the UHC. The second uhc was still dragon focused and iirc is where Beef married the dragon? Memories are hazy but they do kill the dragon in this one I think. UHC was then revamped as a pvp event and became a regular Mindcrack game every few months, featuring most of the Mindcrackers and several special guests, including Dinnerbone, who as we know Thanos-snapped Doc's arm out of existence as a result of Doc killing him in one of them

In one of the seasons of Mindcrack, Beef invited swedish Mindcracker and good friend Anderzel to go caving with him and invented ABBA Rules caving, where the winner takes it all. ABBA Rules is a game where each ore (and also dungeon loot like nametags) is assigned a point value and the person with the most points at the end wins and gets to keep all the stuff collected from the game.

In Mindcrack season 3?, Beef punched the ender dragon in an... awkward area, so when the dragon died and left the egg behind, Guude said Beef was the father of the egg XD I don't remember if I watched s3 so I have no idea if anything Happened with this concept but *history of the world voice* you could make lore out of this!

So Team Canada has played a Lot of CTM maps (which fun fact were pretty much invented by another Mindcrack member, Vechs, with his Super Hostile series! Super Hostile has a bunch of things called "Zistonian", which are references to another Mindcrack member Zisteau, who has a very wild singleplayer series with even wilder lore but I digress). In Ruins of the Mindcrackers, they had a running joke that Beef was Etho and Pause's mom, which is a joke we can leave in the past actually /lh. They also played all the Diversity maps, Sky Factory, Terra Restore, Uncharted Territory uhhh and a couple more ctms and adventure maps! Each map kinda has its own story so in Diversity 3 for example they were trapped in a simulation? I think? Team Canada also recently played the Roguelike Adventures and Dungeons modpack, aka RAD, in which Beef was a wizard with a magic staff that could do anything from summon lightning to control hostile mobs.

Sourceblock SMP is a vanilla survival 1.14 series that ran for one season and the series starts with each of the Players being drawn to a strange sparkling water source that, once they touch it, brings them to the Sourceblock world. It also summons a giant zombie at one point. There's probably more lore for this series but like I said I haven't watched it all the way through yet 

He has a Patreon server called VintageCraft and has done a series or two on there as well, and played a few UHCs with them, so lore that how you will! 

Beef also played a few popular mods, notably Pixelmon, Life in the Woods, and Feed the Beast, with LitW being singleplayer and the other multiplayer. He's also recently played the Zoo and Wild Animals mod a lot. He did a short series with the Minecraft Comes Alive mod where he married one of the villagers and had two children, so that's canon now :D he’s played a Lot of Pixelmon starting when the mod first came out iirc (he chose Turtwig in his first series and built a Grass gym, then made a Normal gym in another series in uhh 2016) and he still plays to this day. Quite a few Hermits played on his Pixelmon servers with him, like Wels, Etho, Iskall, Stress, Slip, Zueljin, and also Guude and Phedran (a Mindcrack adjacent player and creator of the LitW modpack) and a few Mindcrackers on the older servers 

Mindcrack and friends played a lot of other games too- 7 Days to Die, Ark Survival Evolved, Unturned, to name a few, so you can pull a lot of lore out of these as well. Speaking of friends and non-Minecraft games, Beef teamed up with Pause, Keralis, and Slip (a former Hermit) to play the horror game the Forest, which saw them stuck on an island trying to survive against terrifying mutated human... things. They played it a few times as the game updated but as afaik it's the first time Beef played with Keralis and possibly Slip and since the game starts with the Player's airplane crashing, that could totally be how Beef first met them in-universe 

I... think? that’s everything I mentioned in the tags? There is probably way more stuff I’ve forgotten that stems from inside jokes and things that happen within each series, but I hope that was a) helpful and b) at least somewhat comprehensible lmao