#but overall it wasnt actually all too stressful

[pa-rou]

First shift at work DONE (just a 3 hour one but still)

I need someone to beam the technical knowledge of how to store stuff in the back and organize it there into my mind STAT. At one point the scanner thingy for the tags started beeping super loud when i tried scanning a buncha shirts and i just about shitted myself :’))

[dandyshucks]

need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

[magicdefendorwolf]

Injuries pt2

Description:you come back from your travels injured,how do they react?

Warnings:injuries obviously but its vague

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blade

He was seriously trying to have a calm and nice night,but then you walked in,all injured

"Where were you?"pauses and eyes you up and down"what happened?who did that?"

He sighs,gets up and carries you to your bed and then goes to get medicine and bandages

He swears to himself he is not panicking,if someone where to say he's panicking right now he'd deny it until his dying breath and in the afterlife,but the way he rummages through the medicine cabinets and searches for bandages says a different story

Truly,his actions betray his words,he says he's all calm but just look at the way his movements seem agitated,brows just a tad furrowed together,you'd have to squint so hard to actually see it on his face

But once he's got you all patched you better expect a lecture,but it doesnt sound like a lecture if you dont know him,if you didnt know anything about him at all it'd just sound as if he was listing off all of the things you did wrong that got you into this situation,but you know thats his way of telling you that you werent careful enough and giving advice

If you cant walk or move around much while your injuries heal he'll drop by your room during meal times with food and eat together with you and then leave,if you ask him nicely maybe he'll stay to keep you company,but otherwise dont expect him to stick around too long

But if you can walk and move around well,no you cant if he considers your injuries to be too grave,then you are staying in bed whether you have the ability to move or not,no questions asked

Once you're all healed up even if you wont see it Blade becomes overprotective,as i said you wont be seeing it since it'll be very subtle things,you'd have to pick up the hints off the floor

Overall 7/10 because you'll be confined to your bed and he wont have any idea of how to keep you company,plus the sass

Jing Yuan

He was worried the moment he realized you were late

"Where were you?"pauses and looks at you"Forget it lets just get you a doctor"

He doesnt even let you respond before he swoops you up bridal style and brings you to a doctor

Once the doctor is done patching you up he takes you back home,and lays you in bed,obviously he's not panicked or alarmed,just stressed about your state

Why didnt you call him? How did this happen? Why wasnt he there?

Nethier way he'll brush all that aside to take care of you

If you have to be bedridden he'll be at your beck and call until your injuries are fully healed,keeping you entertained with stories,jokes,mindless talks and even board games

If you can move around and dont have to stay in bed then great,you're still not moving too much,because he's carrying you almost everywhere due to the fact that he's worried over you physical condition

Once you're all recovered he'll have a serious talk with you about your safety and how you can rely on him

9/10 only because of the way he's blame himself for what happened to you

Gepard

He was happy to finally use what little time he had to spend with you,but then you walked in

"Huh?! Love what happened?!"

He'd rush to your side and carry you to lay down,and despite being initially alarmed he calms down and gets his priorities in order and gets you to a doctor

After you're all patched up he'll carry you back home and do whatever he can to help you. He sees silvermane guards get injured due to monsters almost daily so he's used to injuries,but even so,seeing his partner injured like this still worries him to no end

And he wont try to hide his worries about you

He's an experienced and strong silvermane guard,heck he"s even the head of the silvermane guards,why didnt you take him along with you? He could've prevented this,the situation definetly frustrates him and he's not afraid to show it

If you cant move around much and have to stay in bed he becomes your personal butler when he's around,bringing you food,doing chores and doing his best to keep you entertained and healing

And during times when he's on duty and cant be near you he'll ask his sister for help

If you arent bedridden then you have full mama bear Gepard because, oh boy the overprotectiveness that you never knew he had comes out

You want to cook by yourself? Oh no way is he letting you on your own,he's coming to help and he'll do most of it. You want to take a walk? Sure but you only get to walk for a bit before he's carrying you

Overall 10/10,do i need to explain?

Yanqing

He was so excited for you to come back,he was basically beaming knowing you were on your way

"Ah you're finally back!"he pauses and takes a good look at you"Huh?! Are you alright?! Come lets get you to a doctor!"

Initially he'll be panicked,very,until after the doctor is done bandaging your wounds and everything,thats when he finally relaxes after he's been pacing around like a headless chicken

And you better expect a full blown lecture,dont even think you can escape this lecture through any ways

As much as he loves you,he worried so much and still is seeing you in such a state,of course he'll be scolding you about not taking care of yourself and about being reckless

When he's finally calmed down he'll be placing his arms on your bedside and place his head onto his crossed arms right at the edge of your bed and just talk to you,he'll even play with your hand while talking to you,playing with your hand and vice versa or holding hands calms him down so

If you have to be bedridden then prepare for a full alert mode Yanqing because this man right here has your whole entire treatement memorized by heart if you have one(changing bandages,medicine for the wounds,pain killers,etc.),and since he has to leave the house due to his duties he'll leave everything prepared in a way that gives you easy acces to food,board games,books,snacks,anything you'd need

If you dont have to stay in bed then great,he'll get you to move around with him hoping it'll make your wounds better,of course he wont push you beyond your limit but still,he'll also be extra careful with you asking you quite often how you're feeling and if you're alright

9/10 only because he'd be so stressed and worried over you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[baxndaid]

Hello! I have a request!

Can I have a headcannon of LMK? where female reader is sweet but has really bad luck? ( Like she would almost get hit by a car, incoming ball to the face, tripping, accidentally falling down the stairs, bumping into furniture or people, and light poles, flower pots or signs almost falling on her. And not just her getting hurt but generally things that won’t work with her like a soda getting stuck in a vending machine, losing her wallet and opening a bag of chips but it gets ripped apart instead and falls over to the ground. )

So I was wondering if Mk, Redson and sun wukong actually found this out by hanging out with her and does everything to protect her or put her out of harms way? And maybe they secretly like her? ( I thought this idea was cute and funny so I hope it’ll be fun for you! )

mk + redson + wukong x reader 🧷🧃⏰ -- who has horrible luck!!️

a/n ; this is soo cute, also im just going through my asks rn so if u requested, itll most likely be answered soon!! ilyy

sun wukong !!

☆ he thought you were just real dumb as first icl... just sweet but stupid

☆ you had such a cute innocent smile i mean come on how could he not think that? just so ignorant, yeah, thats it!! thats why your always in danger silly

☆ at first he found it so funny like he tried to hide his goofy little smile but it wasnt enough - watching you trip over literally anything was hilarious

☆ sometimes he thought you mightve been cursed by a demon - how does somebody miss their bus by a minute every single day? you cant be human, theres no way somebody is this unlucky? whatever nagito...

☆ he did find it funny when you wasted a whole 90 yuan on vending machine snacks that didnt even come out, and he did find it funny when you started kicking said vending machine, and he did find it funny when the vending machine spat out drink cans onto your head as a result of your abuse - he can admit that

☆ but he started to get concerned about your safety whenever you even thought about crossing a busy road

☆ im not even kidding - the second you stepped on the road he had to yank you back by your shoulder onto his chest, there was a truck coming right for you

☆ he scolds you a little.... just a little

☆ not harshly but he just wants you to be safe - so he does something to protect you (and embarrass you for scaring him with that whole road incident)

☆ he carries you everywhere, EVERYWHERE MAN... and he shows off a bit too the cheeky bastard - throws you up and down, does somersaults, carries you like a sack of potatoes just to embarrass you more

☆ he doesnt do this a lot though, with your luck? you two would probably be hit by an aeroplane

redson !!

☆ he so damn annoying with it "god your so clumsy" WDC!

☆ hes very very protective - like annoyingly so bc he acts like he doesnt care at all (he is PANICKING)

☆ please play with his hair im pretty sure hes more stressed than you are even if your the one whos being attacked by random vending machines and flower pots on the street atp

☆ his ass is NOT letting you leave without him anymore

☆ yeah yeah hes gonna act all "god your such a nuisance, i have to take care of you like youre a child" WDC!

☆ you would hardly see the effects of your bad luck with him because he prevents it as much as he can - he sees that your wallet is loose and about to fall? he got it for u!! "did you just touch my ass?" "w-WHAT?!"

☆ hes never doing that again, have fun losing your money

mk !!

☆ he gets you frr

☆ you both just chill together, he DOES try to prevent the more harmful situations that you may find yourself in like traffic and... vending machines

☆ but hes a baby, he cant help you with getting your coins unstuck in a sewer because he himself probably has his whole wallet in there somewhere

☆ you both look out for each other

☆ see a puddle hes about to slip in? call out, he sees a car coming? he calls out

☆ overall you both have a lot of ... ehem... baxndaids.... in your bags just in case you two do something stupid - whether intentional or not

lmk masterlist

[brucequeensteen]

can i be so so so ernst for a second. and by a second i mean a really long ranty post. but it pisses me off how many people characterise edward little as incompetent or useless or something along those lines because i think that reading misunderstands him entirely . like he is actually good at his job. he's competent in his role as first lieutenant to the extent that he can do what the job would Normally require of him, and do it well. obviously he doesn't function under the dire intense conditions of the show because who would, he's never done this shit before, he's second in command to a depressed alcoholic who takes at least 2 months to get his shit together, he's sworn to secrecy about said depression and alcoholism, he's had loyalty to his captain and adherence to the system and hierarchy deeply engrained in him because ofcourse he has, every navy personnel on that expedition has, and the workplace environment is DIABOLICAL aboard those ships and he is so eager to do well and so eager to please and so devoted to crozier that he operates on 90% anxiety & stress and 10% willpower. The fact that he fumbles at terror camp when the mutiny starts is not because he's incompetent, that is literally the worst situation to be in when you have just been thrust into a command position WHICH HE WASNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN because fitzjames is THERE but he's too busy being a christ figure in his tent to pay attention to what is happening and little is doing his best. he doesn't have the knowledge and experience crozier has, sure, but in his defense crozier did not leave him well equipped and is frankly putting far too much pressure on him at literally every turn! edward little is not useless, he's overworked and underappreciated and he's literally sad all the time can you please cut him some slack. you can see in subtle moments where he does take charge that he's good, he's good at this, he's amiable and considerate and efficient. he follows orders well, and maybe that's his downfall, he's too good at following orders. when he finally steps up to the mantle and takes charge and has the confidence to make a decision in authority, the rest of the men have already made a decision without him, and that's not his fault is it!!!!!! by all means edward little is pathetic, a people pleaser, has little to no self confidence and is overall a wet cat of a human being but i will not stand by and see people call him incompetent and useless, that's what francis crozier wants you to believe and do you really want to take a page out of crozier's book on how to treat edward little? No you don't

[brrypiiix]

Hiii, so uhm i have no idea if this is a headcanon ask but uhh, i guess this is an angsty ask. Do Trollex and Clay have fights? Like small or big ones? Like what was their first fight about??

Ohhhh this is a fun and interesting one.

Because technically, yes and no.

It’s uncommon, because Trollex purposely tries to do everything he can to avoid any sort of fights. Not to say he wont argue, because he definitely will for the sake of their relationship and for the sake of Clay especially. If he feels Clay is getting ahead of himself to an extent that could hurt himself mentally or get himself hurt physically, Trollex will jump to try and ease him back as softly as possible. He’ll become more stern if he feels its necessary. Other than that though, he avoids it and remains to seek out and fill Clay’s absolute comfort and needs. Because literally Trollex would do anything for Clay. He’d give up his own crown to always be with him if Clay would let him and if he wasnt so heavily loyal to his tribe.

Clay is a very, VERY stubborn troll who will do what he wants if he feels its necessary or the better option. He doesnt seek out arguments, especially with Trollex, but he does not shy away whatsoever when he feels upset over something. But when he does have an outburst or becomes upset, its rarely ever about Trollex himself. When it is about Trollex, it’s heavily due to Clay’s own insecurities. Clay, having grown up as a middle child of 5, was raised to basically be a perfectionist, and grew to have identity issues, has a lot of insecurities and also never even dated in his life. So he’ll easily become more defensive with Trollex if any thought crosses his mind that Trollex may not actually want to be with him or is disrespecting him. Which again, doesn’t happen too often and likely is only just a follow up of some other problem going on with Clay. And of course, those insecurities always end up not being true because of how much Trollex is deeply in love with Clay, and he’s always quick to listen and help ground him during these moments.

So yeah, their fights overall happen rarely ever. Trollex avoids them and is too chill of a guy to be easily upset, Clay’s anger rarely involves Trollex and Trollex focuses on helping him through the anger and never feels offended or hurt out from it.

When they do have fights though, its more medium to big level of fights due to how serious the topics are, but are actually relatively short. But its usually Clay doing all the yelling and saying stuff until Trollex becomes stern and grounds him by telling him a hard truth.

For instance, one of their biggest arguments would involve their kids. Mostly Klaxon who at one point runs away at the age of 15 after Trollex finally sat him down and said that Klaxon is not guaranteed to be the next heir, which is something Klaxon overly hyped himself up over all his life up to that point. When Klaxon ran away, Trollex and Clay had an argument because Clay was stressing over how it was similar to when him and his brothers separated and he was also stressing over how Klaxon was acting like John Dory. Which, Klaxon had always had some similarities to how John Dory acted when he was a kid, and that stressed Clay out at some points. Trollex though, was quick to pull him out of that thought by saying things like “Don’t compare our family to yours. We need to focus on getting Klaxon back.” And after that, they’d proceed to go off to find Klaxon.

One of their first ever arguments though would involve how they’d make their relationship work with Trollex needing to live at the reef as king and Clay needing to stay in trollstopia and help the putt putt trolls resettle(I actually have a whole thing for how the putt putt trolls resettle into trollstopia if anyones interested about that). But that argument was more of Clay yelling and having a little emotional moment, to which Trollex just held him and lovingly spoke to him and reassured him they can make it work, because he wants nothing more than to make it work.

Clay never intends to be mean to Trollex when he is, he always feels horrible about it afterwards and always makes it up to him by babying and loving on him.

But yeah, there ya go!! Any more questions feel free to ask

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

if azula needs redeeming, why wasnt she?

i read this analysis of Azuko? Zukla? idk but a critique of their sibling dynamic, particularly within the context of doomed siblings, and tho i don’t agree with it, it’s a testament to its writer that there’s innate value in carving out my thoughts from their own.

so a lot of my disagreement boils down to the fact that the way the analysis construed zuko & azula, from characterizing them as doomed siblings, to the way azula’s breakdown is framed, is a problem of taste and inferences, and how these interpretive elements can be incongruent with technical aspects like intent, convention, medium, or the functional mechanics of art overall.

firstly, i think its very important to highlight that while elite art is holistic and multifaceted, it is doubly focused and premeditated, and its constituents all occupy a purpose and position within it, as they are narrative elements first and foremost. which complicates things when creation and consumption are both such human, evocative processes, but i think looking at the rudimentary layers of a story are the north stars in subjective landscapes like this. and most salient of these, is the story’s anti-colonial roots, centering indigeneity explicitly, and the cultural, spiritual and earthly relationships therein, with the main conflict being restoring the dignity and autonomy of the subjugated, alongside the internal work and opposition that are necessitated in doing so. everything stems from that, and though there is complexity and nuance therein, and the story itself is immensely liberal in execution, it is also ultimately a good vs bad narrative, which it has every right to be, bc colonialism is bad, and colonialists are bad.

therefore, atla inherently adheres to convention, and has a preestablished idealistic framework. to illustrate this, it utilizes two central characters, both encapsulations of the dualistic nature of oppressor and the oppressed, and navigated thusly as foils to one another. zuko is thereby, the deuteragonist, and the depth or lack thereof, of his environment are equally conditioned by his position, as the confines of the kid’s tv medium, serialization as well as narrative structuring itself, craft him. kill your darlings and all that lol.

however, these positionalities, while abiding convention, are not binary, and while conclusive, they are not absolutist. zuko for example, is antithetical to a Madonna, stressed by him even having a redemption to realize, and azula too is done an injustice by any reduction to a whore / imperfect victim archetype. this compartmentalization, is luckily ill-fitting in accommodating their totality, and doesn’t incorporate the fact that consequence, in avatar, is not a condemnation of personhood, but a retaliation to action, and has mangled indiscriminately, with azula’s case actually, being the reclamation of principles and in-world intentionality.

to begin with, zuko, while most recognized for his redemption, is not functionally the redemptive character™, he’s an example of the sacrifice, sincerity and labor that are inherent to anti-colonial action facilitated by an absconding oppressor, of the inborn empathy and active resistance that are needed for a system to change, and how you don’t just get there through platitudes or amicability. those thematic niceties are ofc inherent to his story bc he’s fleshed out and the things that inspired him thusly are too, but that emotional and relational floweriness is a consequence of his actions, not their driving force (being embraced by imperial idolization, by his royal family, was not fulfilling), what drove him is a fundamental and intrinsic ideological disdain for the imperialist war machine — it was ultimately, an abstraction of self – by acting in service of others, which unlike letting imperialist standards (e.g. chauvinism and parasitism and “honor”) puppeteer him as an instrument of violence, is ironically, an act of true autonomy and discernment. deriving your value from mutualism and earning one’s stature, instead of asserting yourself on others and letting corrosive and paternalistic worldviews (and by extension the selfishness & self absorption i.e “honor” innate to that) rule your destiny.

azula, however, is meant to be an inversion of that, is meant to reflect what happens when you reject morality or connection, instead letting control and superiority entrap you. she is explicitly a cautionary tale, which also comes with its own oversights and inelegant implications, but she likewise, greatly exemplifies the internal decay and loneliness inherent to alienating yourself through cruelty and stratification. and is it not possible then that a girl who has valued herself by what she can inflict on others, would then have the very sanctity of existence warped at no longer being able to dominate, no longer deemed the ideal? is infection not a thing that savages, before it spreads? in this way, azula is poignant.

as the more intimate face of imperialism, she is humanized in her parasitism, but it is not used to soften her behavior, nor is it used to hand her redemption. it is not smth that she is owed for the very coincidence of her birth or blood, its earned, and she did not earn nor want it.

so when a character that suggested the utter evisceration of marginalized groups, and thereafter tried to murder a personification of colonial survivor’s guilt and endangered practices, is consequently left to mourn her superiority, just as her father before her, its smth we sympathize with within reasonable boundaries. when her brother, who she abused, doesn’t martyr himself to azula’s interiority, instead laboring towards his own destiny and happiness, rather than the genesis of azula’s redemption, that is not inconsistency, it’s peace. its making peace despite the fact that some would rather rot in the entrails of imperialism than afford its victims value, would rather hurt others, and in turn themselves, than embrace healing and progress

— (plus inflicting his values may not in fact heal, when healing is not inherently uniform, and growing is not innately moralistic).

now, there’s a whole nurture vs nature angle to this as well and these ontological arguments are often touchy, yes zuko had ursa and iroh. yes zuko was forced to challenge his preconceptions, but zuko wasn’t diametric to these things, and the supplementations he did receive were always compensatory. zuko was deemed genetically inferior by ozai and thusly ostracized, hence ursa’s gentle partiality, zuko was then mutilated and exiled, and naturally needed supervision, which was provided by an overseer who mirrored his disgrace. if denied these safeguards zuko would’ve been denied even palliative care, whereas azula was perceived as needing none when she was revered positionally and familialy.

yes being pit against zuko was toxic and destructive but its not at all equivocal to the outright abuse zuko suffered. ofc the threat of it was implicit but those who abet or orbit abusers are not inherently under threat, and i think azula is characterized similarly. it's not fear that colors her outburst against ozai, nor coerces her silence, its entitlement and a sanctifying of hierarchies: “i deserve to be by your side.” - it’s respect that earns her silence and it’s the promise of respect that goads her acquiescence, the prospect of accumulation. this is ofc not a healthy mindset to have bc azula hinges her value on perfection, performance and status, and it's evident how the pressure of that collapsed her, but it was a pressure she had embraced before. it was her adeptness that ozai latched onto, and before the inviolability of it was challenged, azula took advantage of her nature, she weaponized it, and it was that eagerness that ozai exploited.

as viewers we process this as the objectification it is, but its reality, is a systemic natured dehumanization, ingrained in any culture that seeks to mechanize its constituents (which is all societies actually. we are all complicit). ozai thinks he is honing her as did his father and his colonialist forefathers prior, and herein is not abuse in the conventional sense, but rather a tradition of commodification that extricates skill and hegemonizes personhood, it’s an existential death necessitated by imperialism. it’s the death of agency. azula embraced this necrotic philosophy until she was confronted with the consequences of her rot, and *that’s* what she got. consequences. of which she was spared throughout.

it was never personal.

sure we get glimpses of her humanity, her vulnerability, but they’re paltry and muddied too by an undercurrent of duplicitousness. azula flaunts zuko’s impending demise, yet later, includes him in her outings. azula relishes zuko’s mutilation, but also fetches him from the beach house. she falsely welcomes zuko back, then implores he join her sincerely. and azula shares her pain from ursa yet spurns softness still, from MaiKo’s juvenile fondness to ursa’s own guiding attempts. azula is ceaselessly cruel to zuko, then spontaneously benevolent to him once he has seemingly subsumed the apparatus of colonialism. and gives him credit for killing the avatar, yet shows a sly inclination of his revival. this isn’t to insinuate that azula is ontologically evil or that she’s an unnuanced, mono-faceted individual. and she was a child. yet zuko’s youth didn’t spare him from the grotesque terrors of death and alienation, and it didn’t temper her perpetual antagonism and bloodlust, she is demonstrably self-serving, and this is evidenced throughout.

this is not to shame her in her passivity, nor an expectation that she martyr herself or even commiserate with her brother. rather, her downfall is a reaping of autonomy, made subject to the tendency of one’s active leanings. in which the choice of her sibling abuse exacerbated her societal abuse, all festering, foremost, the abuse of her own soul.

so, relatedly, is it not possible that a character of her cunning, who emotionally degraded her own sibling while gleefully championing his attempted imprisonment, before graduating to attempted murder by preparing to electrocute him while he was enfeebled on the ship, then later tried to kill aang, tried to kill katara, gloated abt intending to kill zuko at the air temple, injured iroh while making her escape from the gaang + zuko. also endangered and coerced ty lee into joining her, imprisoned mai, nearly killed zuko as he tried to save katara (which was likely her intent, or at least meant to cripple zuko’s composure — dishonoring the agni kai) — need i go on. azula’s benevolence is conditional, and consistently transactional, and so is it not possible then that she gauged zuko’s swaying allegiances against her own armaments - when faced with iroh, a waterbending master, an earthbending master with groundbreaking abilities (>_-), and the literal avatar, after observing their – plus aang’s growth, and having been cornered before, then decided rather, that having another asset, puppet, contingency plan, in her pocket wouldn’t hurt.

maybe she was being benevolent, or maybe, azula, who too sat in liberated territory and was gifted a chance for growth and morality, rejected that chance over the value therein, tenderized for extraction, parasitizing instead. maybe azula too, was acting in the imperialist tradition of exploitation. maybe she holds the capacity for compassion and care — which we have gleaned regardless — but the tangentials and hypotheticals of the world are often not what is actualized, and they are not a thing that can be affected. empathy is an active pursuit, and it is mutualistic, provisional — and so there is not a ‘who’ of azula’s redemption, but a what, the ‘what’ that is to be influenced. the personalization of one’s own form, of an internal receptiveness to commiserate with. bc as is, azula is merely a husk of colonialism, and being a husk of colonialism is meant to be sad, its deliberately tragic, unflinchingly pitiable. disorienting. life shattering. that’s what you’re meant to feel, it is not an inadvertence of zuko’s arc, and it is not a coincidence of the narrative.

she is a trajectory within herself, and her fate is a whole within itself. just as zuko labors towards rectifying his nation bc he needs to, bc there is value in dismantling colonialism, not bc the imperialists are owed it, but bc everyone else is. zuko also watches, not with apathy or boredom as his sister implodes at this, but with pity, with grief, bc azula manipulated herself a bed of corpses, and it is not him who must choose not to lie in it. when healing is intentional, is active, and zuko has chosen to heal. when azula cannot be handheld and shielded from her war crimes and systemic violence bc she wasn’t hugged enough as a child. zuko too lost a core sense of support mournfully young, and moreover at many points in his development journey, but the inclination that told him to speak up in the war room is doubly the same inclination that told him to afford jin affection, or help the earth kingdom family, and save his crew member in the storm, despite this very vulnerability catalyzing his banishment.

azula had friends and she had adoration and she had paternalistic validation, but contentment is unattainable when accumulation is your driving force. and the only thing left to cannibalize is yourself. with this, azula’s downfall was not only inevitable, it was natural, foretold even. and just as iroh doesn’t adhere to whatever deficits were sewn unwittingly into ozai, nor is it demanded — it also isn’t azula’s fallibilities that now damn her. azula isn’t the “bad sibling”, devoid of nuance, she’s the bad person™. despite it all.

katara has ptsd and toph is blind, sokka is a non-bender and zuko was deemed handicapped then maimed thereafter, instability is not azula’s punishment, its an externalization of her decay, and its meant to be unrelenting and all-encompassing, because abstraction and objectification are totalitarian afflictions. likewise, her condemnation is not a consequence of gender marginalization, tho the undertones of spoilt brat tropes and somehow unconventional, inevitably crazed women sully our palates. we taste bias even where it perishes, even as the fire nation is seemingly meritocratic, and unabashed, imperfect girls are idealized story-wide. from toph to azula herself, who may be conflated for a sanist archetype, yet challenges gender roles and infantilization in her prowess and militancy, as she’s sterile and calculating and impassive, where zuko is feeble and undermined, aimless, emotional. she is far beyond any trope, contrivance or embellishment, and doesn’t flourish or encumber zuko’s arc, as he equally isn’t made to for her’s.

azula is a force beyond zuko, until she can no longer deny him, and azula haunts zuko until she doesn’t, until her own crossroads loom, her contrived dualism of failure or victor, aggressor and victim. and she is forced then to reckon with loss. azula’s end is not a reductionism at hands other than her own, her fall is not zuko’s win, nor does the show frame it gloriously, there is no joy in her misery, no minimization of her tragedy, from the score to the tone, in her chilling, animalistic pules, azula languishes in her self-destruction, and it is one entirely independent of zuko. with this, we are shown azula’s nuance, the unthinking allyship she inspired, yet the coercion and dereliction it veiled. the camaraderie and kindness she offered, to warn zuko against visiting iroh, to credit him unduly, yet the threat it masked, to stay unadulterated, to stay unctuous. the vilification she detested, and yet the love she scorned for its fragility and irrepressibility. ursa doesn’t confirm azula’s worst fears, ironically, sadistically, any love she may have held haunts her, is nearly derisory. impossible.

and while no debate exists that ursa neglected azula, or that she failed her duty to nurture and cater her parenting to azula’s needs and interiority, the factors that complicated that, such as ozai’s own domineering hold, alienated mother and child from any means of cultivating real love, and thusly the influences azula did ingest were brutality, unchallenged in nature, entirely singular. it’s a self-flagellation, a ritualistic and sustained self alienation, amputating any vulnerability, all perceived pluralities.

so azula, despite not consistently having her perspective expressed, still encompasses the products of colonial rearing, and its destructiveness isn’t meant to be contested, sugarcoated, not with others and not with the self. fascism has denied us azula the person, and that may be a consequence of format, but it isn’t a consequence of the narrative. nor realism. we are meant to acknowledge azula’s complexities in the intentionality of their artful crafting, while not undermining that architects of oppression still bleed. one can see themselves in azula’s struggles, in the humanity of her endeavors, while not decontextualizing the tenets of her positionality, while not undermining that every character that claimed their redemption, did so by choosing another, by loving.

and azula’s journey to love, to embracing her own humanity, is a journey solely her own. this isn’t to say that she doesn’t deserve support or guidance or love or care, but that’s not the point. that wasn’t the intent of her character, and that wasn’t the thematic priority of the show. it's an extrapolation. bc some ppl suck and that’s ok. and there are ppl you cannot help and that is ok. and sometimes the ppl you love will suffer, and that has to be ok. bc sometimes you choose yourself, sometimes you choose what you can, and that is ok. it is okay to grow, and it is ok to move on. that’s the point. it is ok to spit out the poison. forgive any tactlessness therein, but it’s a tough pill, and its meant to have an aftertaste.

however, it's not cynicism that one is meant to internalize, and it's not intended to inspire fatalism either, although the symbology of azula’s toxicity is excised, the human struggles she encapsulated remain, the intimacy of our empathy persists, and it will color the fire nation’s vices and pitfalls. bc when one can’t just will away indoctrination, as we saw with both azula and zuko, and even still with paku or toph’s parents, as hierarchies are intersectional and multifaceted, and in the trials of decolonization there will thusly be azulas’, but there will also be zukos’, and pakus’, and sokkas’. all with their very intimate, equally human complexes to confront, unravel and rectify. just as there sit your perspectives, as there too exist my own influences.

and while zuko may merely be a beneficiary of the prevailing zeitgeist (tho imperialism explicitly requires non-consent lol), where azula once functioned, and he may be no more ontologically owed redemption than azula, or deserving love over her, when in the forever-war of subjugation, it isn’t abt ontology or criteria, nor logicisms or hypotheticals, its abt action. so zuko tries. and that resistance, that anti-colonial praxis, is a good start, it’s the most meaningful start. zuko isn’t king, or redeemed, bc he’s genetically “good”, its bc he tries. that’s the point. not how efficient he is or how proficiently he embodies apparatus.

reparation. that’s. the point. the triumph of resistance juxtaposing the tragedy of complacency. bc nothing is immutable, and so nothing is too far gone.

.

.

Besides… it’s only a kid’s show heh.

[scummrevisited]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

[yuniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie]

The world is yours.

Tony Montana! Soft reader. Innocent reader. Preteen! Reader. Reader has childhood trauma. Reader being overstimulated(stressed) Soft! Tony. Slightly manipulative Tony - Out of plot (a little -) Platonic! Tony + mentions of guns, death, kidnapping? Reader has amnesia. Foreign reader! (You can choose where.) reader isnt good at english. Bold = native language.

(Tony himself deserves a warning!!)

Around the World

———————————————————————

Barely really turning 14, just now about to end the second and final course of the 7th grade, you were just now getting into 8th grade after the summer/ winter break schools were giving.

But overall you had a complex relationship with your family. Being oversheltered, barely actually leaving your house other than going to school was all. It was that bad,

It was only when you went around the world after meeting him. But before

You almost failed english because it was so difficult. You always talked in native. Never english, when you had only really learned a few simple phrases in english, you and your parents had taken a trip to a state nearby the country, maybe the coast or wherever it took you by car, but no. Instead. Or by plain,

To America.

But it was only after a freak accident. The car crash had caused memory loss, the car flipping parents were fortunate enough to only really suffer with a few bruises yet you had hit your head and maybe even almost flew out the car but the worst thing was hitting your head somewhere a little, too hard.

So it was where after you discharged from the hospital you just tried regaining memory, as best as possible. Your father was an aristocrat, he had taken you to Cuba with him to do his business with him there, he worked in a business. With him being the CEO of it however.

He had involved himself with the underworld, the gangsters. And he had picked the wrong man to fuck with,

“Montana, his name is montana.”

———————————

But you wished you were home, letting a soft tear run down your ear. Looking at the rugged man before you cooing in spanish,

You almost believed it you gave up feeling the tenderness he was giving you, “I never expect to be so lucky n shit.”

“I get a innocent flower.” He paused. “To myself,”

His finger ran down your tear soaked face. A hand holding your head steady, “Your shitbag of a father aint here,” He wiped your tears away, looking at how you wouldnt stop shaking, even when you seemed so hesitant you werent pushing him off. Incoherent , mumbles of broken english didnt reach him, his arm going around your shaking shoulders he pulled you next to him,

Until you broke down.

You were sobbing, the ache of feeling the anklet harsh against your ankle,

He had you captive since he drugged you, breaking you into being his now, he had taken you by force, all the way back to this mansion. No one was ever going to find you ever again. If you escaped he’d use the anklet, to shock you.

But you were good,

Never once scrunching your nose or face at him, not moving away from him when he comforted you. When he gave you food you sat and ate. You were polite in asking him to go use the toilet, you were kind, he remembered before he drugged you. The way you played with the stray kitten near the park he found you alone in near where your father seemed to be taking a phonecall.

Even when he set you on the bed, you didnt hit him. Or scream. Or push away, you only ever defied when he would be sudden. Trauma reaction;

But he soothed he wasnt here to hurt you. And your scumbag of a father was at fault.

All of them were dead. He put a bullet to your fathers head afterall. You didnt have to go anywhere ever again. A trip to all around the world.

Anything or anywhere you want or want to go.

He would give you anything as long as you stayed and never attempted to escape. He wouldnt want to hurt his sweet girl.

But deep down he didnt have any intentions for you. Nothing ill, only good. He kidnapped you, he knew what shit environment you were in.

In his beliefs and twisted feelings he believed kidnapping you meant protecting you from the world.

His pretty mija was all safe with him now. Even if he didnt have a valid reason, why he kept you captive.

He had you now.

(Short fic)

[truly-a-snitch]

hello !! may i request sigma with an protective s/o like not only the s/o physically and mentally protects him, but also brings him food, water, makes sure that he's fine and sleeping well and, in general, is such a sweetheart to sigma

YES OMG i love sigma so much heart emoji :33 did hcs bc i wasnt sure what you wanted

WARNINGS: none :3

---

sigma with a protective and caring s/o

this poor guy. holds him in my hands. his blood pressure is through the roof always. he teeters on the edge of a panic attack or full blown meltdown at all times. slaps a fragile sticker on him like hes a box of wine glasses

it takes the littlest things to get him to relax too because he doesnt have a lot of time for like. literally anything

i mean like the first time you ran your fingers through his hair while he was drifting off to sleep he probably started crying ngl. hes so stressed please handle with care

you help out around the casino, dont get it twisted, but he still bears most of the weight of work because he doesnt want to worry you too much with it (it does Not have the intended goal) and, other than you, the casino is the only thing he can really call his

he often forgets to attend to his bodily functions because of how hard he works and for how long everyday

(once, you had the casino staff send him a meal with a note to let him know it was from you. he realized he had not eaten since breakfast the previous day)

dude when i tell u that u need to wash this mans hair for him. like take a bath with him and wash his hair for him. not like cus he doesnt do it on his own or anything but because you can SEE him relax under your fingers when you do.

he feels so bad that he cant give you the same treatment but he makes up for it by spending lots of quality time with him and he buys you gifts ^_^

you got him one of those waterbottles with the times you should be at certain points by and he genuinely loves it because it reminds him to actually drink water

overall he really appreciates you because you take so much stress off of him by helping out around the casino and helping him actually maintain healthier habits !! he goes to sleep at a decent time now because of you :3 (how did you manage that ? "sigma come to bed i cant sleep if im not holding someone :-(" and hes like i have work but a few minutes couldnt hurt. anyway he falls asleep before you do)

[bucketspammer4life]

how i think the boxers were like in their teen years

was resting bc im sick but punchy men cant wait

Glass joe - was wayy more optimistic and cheery, knew how to cheer himself up, also dyed his hair blonde & lightened it pretty often so his hair was crusty and broke like glass (pun very intended )and hated his childhood photos, used to make fun of people who wear turtleneck sweaters but that didnt age well, looks back at his teen years with sadness

Von Kaiser - was very stern & cold, had a very shitty mustache and a bowl cut, wore actual boxing shorts before his overalls, had very oversized boots that he still wears today because he grew into them, shrieks in embarrasment anytime someone pulls up his teenage photos

Disco Kid - actually used to be a dancing coach and primarily did boxercise, once he started boxing he dropped boxercise and went all out on boxing, used to grow out his hair but cut if off since it distracted him, had his natural hair color, looks back at his teen years with nostalgia (and regret since he cant really cut back on the hair dye now, got into it because of joe)

King Hippo - was actually very tiny, Just shot up in height someday during his teen years, also had a light er voice and a crown that was wayy too big for him, it was passed down from his dad so he still has it & loves it with his entire heart, his boxing shorts still fell down a lot though, looks back at his teen years with joy since he thinks he used to look adorable

Piston Hondo - had longer hair and used to strut his shit, was more of a dickwad, had a belt and did less meditation, mellowed out pretty well since he used to go nuts in the ring flying from place to place, rolls his eyes anytime someone brings up his teen years

Bear Hugger - had a baby face and couldnt really grow a beard, so he had his cheeks pinched very often, used to be happy and still is happy, also met mrs bear's mom at this age during a foraging trip, looks back at his teen photos very happily, if he could go back in time he would pinch his teen-selves cheeks

Great Tiger - his magic sucked ass, his clones were distorted, kept flickering in & out of reality and couldnt stay more than a few seconds, didnt have his mustache & had a buzzcut so he looks back at his photos with anger because of his shitty hair when he didnt have his turban

Don Flamenco - wasnt balding & had longer hair that was wavy, used to be smaller so he was underestimated a lot, had just started bullfighting on the side, looks back at his teen years with sadness, mainly for his hair and lack of anger

Aran Ryan - OHOHHOHH this man wins the award for the worst teenage photos, he had a skaterboy era and the worst hair ever, had a very shitty beard that was growing only on one side, anytime someone pulls those pictures up he runs away

Soda Popinski - Literally unrecognizable, had light brown hair & a buzzcut, didnt drink much soda except for rough matches and was built like a twig, once he started upping the amp on the soda his hair fell out a bit and he got ripped, looks back at his teen photos and laughs at his buzzcut

Bald Bull - oh you think the current bull is scary? You should have seen him then!! He had curly hair and was small but a lot faster, he also headbutted people a lot more but stopped because of health issues, his hair fell out from anger & ripping them out from stress, looks back at his teen years with nostalgia because he missed having hair

Super Macho Man - Literally your average surfer dude, went for the dilfbaiting when he turned 29, dressed like a fratboy and had blonde hair + used spray tans, looks back at his photos and calls himself "gnarly"

Mr Sandman - was wayy tinier except for his arms and used to have glasses, he switched to contacts after having his 19th pair broken, likes making fun of his old photos, also had braces so he was the 🤓 emoji irl for a while

[morethanmeetstheass]

Tell us the “sob story” 8O

lol im gonna put this under a cut so its not massive, but here u go, sob story!

so i think i mentioned that my former apartment got lit on fire, so i had to move to a new place because i was too fuckin scared to live in that place anymore. upside, the guy who blew up my furnace got fired, so W

lived in apartment 2 for a while, it was pretty good, but extremely lonely! i had no local friends At All and like, exactly 1 online friend, so i was wallowing in a sea of loneliness for like, a solid year and a half living there. woe is me, whatever. eventually decided fuck this place, i wanna move back to new york-- i went to uni there, i was born there, i loved it there so i wanted to go back. bought a house, WHEEE-- THAT was a hell of a nightmare, house had code violations, contract was a mess, it was a whole stressful thing. but we got it settled. i have a house now! so that's cool!

but it's also not! because i had a friend/situationship i guess? in new york and i invited them to live with me bc they needed somewhere to live, i'd feel more comfortable having a roommate bc im still afraid to cook and use heat or anything, it was a win win. we went on a few dates back in like, 2020, and i was like, we'll see where things go romantically! without really any expectations of whether we'd get together or not, since ive changed a LOT since 2020 and i really didnt know them all that well. but hey, potential partner! we'll call them jill.

wrench got thrown in THAT when i met a guy, oops! started modding for a pretty big youtuber who's also become one of my best friends, and met a wonderful guy. we very much fell for each other and are now dating. we'll call him levi. told jill hey, i met someone, so suna x jill isnt gonna happen. that didnt go well! jill was apparently much more under the impression that we were gonna date than i was, and was/is very heartbroken about it. whoops! so now i live with someone who is currently still in love with me, while dating someone else! yikes!

which would be fine if there wasnt also a shitload of drama about jill cleaning up their stuff! they've been here for almost 5 months and ive had to ask them dozens of times to please get their huge piles of stuff out of the middle of the floor bc i needed paths for the movers to get their stuff in, i need to unpack my own stuff, etc. they got so upset about me asking them to do this (bear in mind, literally the entire living room was full of stuff FLOOR TO CEILING, and i've given them plenty of warning on dates i was coming to renovate/paint/when my move-in date was) that they threatened to move out and i was like? ok? then move out LMAO. also their cat injured one of my cats and ripped a hole in his ear!

so yes, a lot of unnecessary stress and drama on top of already dealing with all the shit involved with interstate moving, new finances, job changes, relationship changes, all that. the upside being, im very very very happy with levi, im starting to feel settled in my new house, things at my job have calmed down, and things are overall pretty okay. im aware that im extremely privileged to be able to own a house (granted, in an area with a very low cost of living-- the house was like 150k which is actually a semi-sane house price, compared to my friends with 700k homes and stuff LOL) and that my problems arent really all that bad, but topped with the dystopian state of the world right now and the existential dread ive had for months because of it, its just Not been a good time in the suna world. but its ok. things are calming, im making the best of it, and we'll see how things go from here!

[ch0lwrld]

1:11 AM

pairings: beomgyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff with a bit of angst in the beginning

warnings: y/n’s grandparents are sick but beomgyu is there for you every step of the way

a/n: quick beomgyu drabble bc the thought of a sleepy gyu is so 😞. also sorry abt the bit of angst. i did not proofread so read at your own risk.

you cant sleep. and its not because gyu keeps accidentally nudging and kicking you on the bed because you can handle that. even if he hits your side a little too hard you usually just kick him back for good measure. you just can’t. not with the stress of seeing your parents again coming up so soon. the reason he’s actually here with you in your apartment is because he wanted to be there to comfort you. you don’t blame him for falling asleep with you but rather you blame yourself for having him come all the way here for nothing but your endless sulking.

you had called him and ranted to him about it. telling him how your mom wanted you to come over since your grandparents weren’t feeling well and their health wasn’t getting any better. you hadn’t seen them in years, you finally tried to cut them off after you had started working at a good paying job, enough to allow you to move out and away from them. you knew she wouldnt call if it wasnt something serious and you knew that by cutting them off you wouldn’t see your grandparents or anyone for that matter for awhile. but, as much as it hurt, it hurt more for you to stay any longer in that environment. and if moving out and leaving for good was enough to let them know what they did wrong then so be it. and then you were gone.

until now.

your grandparents were fine when you had left, not the best but they knew that. so hearing about your grandpas worsening condition, it hurt. your grandparents were always there for you and your siblings. they were there more than your own parents. your grandpa had always been the one to pick you up and drop you off at school alongside your brothers, your grandma always ready with food for when you got back. your grandpa was the one who taught you to drive and even to parallel park! so many big parts of your life were filled by them and losing them… you couldn’t even fathom the thought right now.

things were going so well at work. when you first found the job you struggled to get the hang of it at first but you soon learned to love it. it paid well and your coworkers were so friendly. the overall environment was amazing. you never thought you would like 9-5’s so much until you landed this spot and it really opened your eyes. you were grateful for the situation you were placed in and to have your loving boyfriend stick by you through it all was just the plus on the side. even though he was busy being an idol, he always found time to spend it with you even if it was in the late hours of the night. he would always answer with that deep, groggy voice and eyes barely opened to watch you talk on the screen. you admired how much he put up with with you but he always let you know that he loved you and no matter what he’d always be there. it was sweet and corny but you loved it all.

you remembered that with everything good happening in your life, something like this was bound to happen. you knew its only supposed to help you grow but you feel every bit of you being torn down day by day. your coworkers had noticed and eventually it got the attention of your boss. they let you have the week off to make time to visit your grandparents. you were grateful they were so understanding but it only made you feel worse that they noticed. you hated the way their faces looked at you in pity when all you wanted was to work all of these emotions out but you couldn’t even do your job correctly.

you couldn’t stop tossing in your sleep that you eventually woke beomgyu up, murmuring a quick sorry and brushing your hand through his hair. he was quick to melt into your touch, falling back to sleep at your side. you felt guilty as you carefully left the bed to head into the kitchen. you thought maybe a cup of tea would help ease any of your worries and finally help you sleep. you were careful not to make too much noise but you guess your effort went in vain as you heard a slight creak in the floorboards and a soft voice call at you from behind.

“what are you doing?”

you looked back to see him in the doorway of your bedroom, leaning agaisnt it as he rubbed at his still sleep ridden eyes. he looked so soft like this, you felt bad you woke him up but it was a little worth it.

“sorry, just couldn’t sleep. you can go back to bed though i’ll be there soon.”

“hmm.. i dont know if i can. i couldn’t feel you there so i got worried.”

he started towards you, wrapping his srms around your waist and setting his chin on your shoulder.

“can’t go back to sleep, not without you there.”

you chuckled. you took a quick sip of your tea, allowing the warmth to flow through your body before you responded back.

“okay clingy, lets go back then now.”

“mmm” he groaned into your ear as he had you waddle him back to the bed, still attached to your hip.

when you two finally settled back in bed he was a little more awake now. he stared at your still form eyes closed but he knew you were still awake.

“is it your parents again?”

you slowly opened your eyes.

“..yeah.. sorry. i just… nevermind”

“you can tell me. i mean i know you did earlier but im all ears now. always.”

he looked at you, watching as your eyes shifted from one to another. you knew you could trust him, you just felt bad to dump all of this on him since everything was going so well for him in his career.

but the look in his eyes as he held you close, fiddling with your fingers and letting his hands roam through your hair as he pushed it away from your face. he knew how much you loved when he played with you hair as much as you do with his. he always was up for putting it into bows and small pony tails or just in ways you would never think of. you would chase him around after it was done and you had looked yourself in the mirror. you always complained because you would always make him look cute and he’d leave you a mess. he’d always give you a loving peck to your lips as you complained as an apology but the knowing smirk on his face tells you otherwise.

he always knew how to make you feel so loved and in this moment as he held you in his arms, you knew. your head laid against his chest feeling each breath he took. it calmed your senses, your mind halting in the middle of the traffic to the sound of his breathing.

he just listened and listened as you talked about your worries. he’ll never not listen to you, not even if its somethings he’s heard over an over again because you forgot you had already told him that joke yesterday or just a minute before. he would always be there to lend you whatever you needed and if he needed to fly to the moon and back he would to see that smile on your face again. to see the frown on your features fade and the crinkle between your brows subside because he was the one making you feel this way. he wanted to be your comfort, your person and everything in between. it pained him to see you so down the last couple of days and he knew you always kept things inside to avoid burdening him with your troubles. but, he never saw it that way and he wished to make you know every second of the day.

you would open up to him with your daily troubles little by little and it made him happy to know that you trusted him and were getting more comfortable as the days passed by. he loved you, more than anything. so if all he needed was to listen and hold you close he could do it everyday if it meant giving you all the comfort and love you’d want and need. he’d do it a thousand times over if he had the choice.

because he loved you, and thats all you’d ever need. all you’d ever need was him.

[greatcheshire]

Rank your YT videos so far from favorite to least favorite to work on

Working on? Not ranked by my opinion of the finished product? Hmmm lol all of them are kinda hell to make but

Spider-Man: a basically painless process, minus the fact that it was a few days late because of weird life stuff

Kitchen Nightmares: kinda stressful since it was my first video after joining Nebula and I had to work on it during thanksgiving but I also don’t remember any of the process of writing or editing it, deserves second place for that alone

Dollar Store Game Show (Save to Win): Sort of stressful because I had to work on this while I had extended family in for a wedding and also found the conspiracy stuff at the last second. But overall not too bad

Lost Internet Meme Movie (Chronicles of Rick Roll): Minus the fact that the upload of it got delayed so much and the frustration I had getting the original thumbnail done, it was a pretty painless one to actually put together, at least while working on it.

Harley and Ivy: Ehhh could’ve been better lol. Had to try and get this one done by my birthday, birthday ended up horrible and that delayed the video. Wish I had done more in the production of this one but ah well

Demo Reel: This one came with the fun of learning to use Premiere, learning how to edit voiceover, having Premiere crash and lose half the footage, and having a snowstorm knock off power to the state for like a week. Fun times lol

Many Adaptations of Berserk: this one was a real bitch and a half. The writing and editing and research process took so long. It took a month just to edit the first seven minutes of the video. Once I got past that, it wasnt as bad. But geez lmao

The Return of Demo Reel: the actual process of putting this together wasn’t so bad once I started it but the months trying to finally make a new video haunt me. So much pressure to make something that would make up for the extended hiatus. Plus mad crunch to finish it at the end

The Cinemassacre Vid: This one was a fucking bitch. Taking six months of constant research and revising to do. Was so stressful I had to make a video about how stressful it was

Existential Horror of Making Content About Content: A video about how stressful making the AVGN video was. Wrote, recorded and edited in 24 hours during an anxiety attack. If I never watch it again it’ll be too soon

I hope this helps! My answers would probably be different if it was just me ranking how much I like the finished videos themselves, but I hope this gives a good idea of how I feel when it comes to making all of them

[shytastemakerthing]

Hi! How are you doing? If its okay I would like Twst and romance please on match up. Make sure not to over work yourself and take plenty of breaks! Thank you!

Lets see, my health is pretty bad. So I have to rest often. Its okay, it gives me time to play video games and watch videos. Though there are days where I am too weak and just sleep.

History is my passion, well military history. I love studing military history. Sadly I tend to scare people off when I speak of historic battles. I wasn't even going into gorey details either. So I learned to keep it shut.

Dark humor, I have it. I warn new friends that I have it. It slips out when I'm sick and when I have my guard down. My guard is usually up so try not to let any jokes slip.

Final bit would be, I am a mother hen. I cant relax if someone is out. I will scold them if they are out too late. Once everyone is safe, I can relax.

I hope this wasnt too much! Thank you! Have a good day!

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, Anon! I hope that you are well and are staying hydrated! I also hope that you enjoy your matchup!

I match you with.......

Lilia Vanrouge

🦇 Okay, this fae was a literal war General and was in the Briar Valley military for YEARS. Needless to say, he has plenty of stories about battles that he has seen and been in, and he will not ne sparing any details, as he sees you are quite interested in them.

🦇 He loves that you love history as much as you do. As someone who has been around for an insane amount of time (do we even know how old he actually is??), and has seen things that one can only dream of, he is the perfect person to talk to you about this passion. After all, he was THERE.

🦇 Look at this fae and tell me he doesn't have some twisted sense of humor? You two cibe rather well on this spectrum. You may work to keep yourself under control around other people but he just let's it all go full throttle. What's life without some morbid laughs?

🦇 It's Canon that this fae plays video games. This means you bith play together all of the time. He has a set up just for you in his room and there has been more than knew occasion that Silver has has to remind the both of you to sleep. Do fae really sleep that much, anyways? I have no clue.

🦇 For the sake of tour already bad health, DO NOT LET HIM COOK FOR YOU. I can not stress that enough! Your health is bad enough without his cooking threatening to turn you into a hashtag and being locked away in a forever box. You have been saved by multiple Diasomnia members throughout your relationship.

🦇 By being with Lilia, this also means you're a mom now. He and Silver come as a package deal, no 'if', 'and', or 'but', about it. But seeing as you already have a motherly personality, meaning you vibe really well with Silver as well, everyone is happy

🦇 By extension, you also get Malleus. Sebek is still up in the air (he has no choice but to respect you, you're dating Lilia for crying out loud)

🦇 On the days where you are just too weak and spend the day sleeping, he is sure to do regular checkups on you. Most of the time, he will just carry you off to his room where you can sleep peacefully and comfortably. (He has experience with doing this to Silver on more than one occassion)

🦇 Overall, he loves being able to take care of you on your bad days (again, do NOT let him cook for you), listen to the dark humor that you are able to come in with, and then sharing stories about battles he has been in or listening to you ramble on about whatever historical events and battles you had read on yourself. He loves you for who you are and he would have it no other way.

[pinkfoodlogg]

TOTAL CALORIE INTAKE DAY 2: 201kcal

today's eats ! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

how r u?? honestly today i really struggled with tiredness and getting lightheaded and numb, but overall it wasnt so bad. i went through high stress too bc its exam season at school and i didnt do a project that was due today. to make up for it my project partner and i bought our teacher a cookie and he loved it !! so that really made my day. i have a good relationship with him so i wanted to apologize for not working harder for his class.

at school i had a chamomile tea in the morning, and a warm americano after noon (which, btw, was atrocious; im never going back to that spot for coffee. tho they do have some croissants that look delightful, so i'll probably go for one of those next week if i've lost a few kg by then)

when i got home i made a matcha almond iced latte and some jam with frozen strawberries!! to have with ricotta and toast ! rlly loved this. strawberries arent actually in season in argentina so couldnt get them fresh, but they were yum anyways.

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i had planned to eat dinner today (that leftover salad and sweet potato) but had a fight with my mom and lost all the appetite i suffered through the day😭. tmrw (thursday) i wont eat and try and fast bc on friday i'll go have lunch with some friends after school and i'd like to get something, just so i dont make it awkward. my best friend has a history with eds and she finds it easier to eat if i do too, so thats that🫠

today was a bad day mentally, couldnt even glance into any mirror or reflection, and me and my friends where looking through some old photos where im as fat as an elephant. So. That Was Great. but whatever. i need to lose more weight bc im going on a trip at the end of july and everyone will be taking photos all the time, and i really want to be able to look back on them and not be repulsed by myself.

on the bright side, i did fast for 22 hours today! which i do realise does not sound like much but for me its a feat.

have a nice day/night !! xoxo ･ᯓᡣ𐭩