#but outside of that she’s generally apathetic to everything

[misterbaritone]

I initially wrote off A.K.I. As nothing more than “Juri but Chinese and poisonous” but after getting through all her World Tour, stuff I’m happy to report that she’s more than “psycho bitch #2”

[animeyanderelover]

Chrollo and avatar!fem!reader, please 😭😭

Fun fact: I have never watched Avatar The Last Airbender before. I only watched some episodes during my childhood when the show aired on TV so do forgive me if I got something wrong.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, stalking, blackmailing, isolation, abduction, murder, fem! s/o

Taglist: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59

Avatar reader

📖​The Avatar, the embodiment of peace and light. And you, chosen as the next reincarnation who will master all four elements to eventually surpass all other bender and bring with you balance and harmony. Yet when the world needed the Avatar the most, she disappeared. This is the tale passed down through generations, a tale reminiscent of the contents you would find inside a children's book. The world offers much that is still left to be discovered and every tale always has a grain of truth in it. It's through the words of a dying monk who used to be your teacher that Chrollo receives a taste of the fascination that will one day bring with it an obsession. Fickle candlelight symbolising the life about to extinct, half of his face dipped into darkness as apathetic eyes watch with a strange sense of curiosity the skinny man. Bedridden and blind yet with a soul far wiser than many people Chrollo has ever met, milky eyes unable to see yet still able to perceive the harbinger of chaos and death sitting right next to him in the last minutes of his life. Chrollo only slightly bemoans that he is not able to steal the Nen of the wise monk yet he leaves with a treasure much more precious in the end.

📖​Fools have been chasing after legends and its promised treasures for millenia and perhaps from the outside it may appear as if Chrollo is faring no better yet he doesn't wish for the truth to be handed out to him on a silver plate. There is enjoyance he finds within the hunt, each little hint he discovers only adding to the anticipation. Other treasure, whilst satisfying him for brief moments, do not fulfill him. It is you who he desires most to find and to claim for you hold secrets and powers that he wishes to have for himself. Dedication and patience are virtues Chrollo practices each and every day as time passes in leaps, days turning into weeks and weeks into months. Until one day he finally finds what he has been seeking for such a long time. A short hint of melancholy is on his face as she strides over to the wall of ice you are frozen into, tiny needles of coldness stabbing into his skin as he lays his palm against the frozen material separating him from you. It's strange. Both of you have never met before yet finally seeing you feels almost like meeting an old friend he hasn't seen in years. If only you would know how long he has searched and waited for you.

📖​Asleep for an entire century only to be thrown into a world who is in many aspects still the same yet simultanously so different. You are unprepared when you are woken up from the slumber you accidentally put yourself into, the only companion from old times still left being your flying bison. There are many unfamiliar faces that surround you as soon as you open your eyes and with no living peers left and awake in a world you fail to understand you find yourself attempting to befriend those new people with an underlying sense of desperation and loneliness. It's those emotions that Chrollo intends to use against you, luring you innocent butterfly in his spider's net to trap you and devour you. You're alone, you're scared and you're vulnerable even if you may hide it under your reckless and humorous facade. There is none of the wise intuition in you that your deceased teacher possessed which would have made everything more difficult for Chrollo. Animals have always had a keen intuition though so it is your flying bison that greatly distrusts him, sensing the demon's hands trying to touch it. Truly a shame for it is such a majestic creature. He wonders just what price he'd get for this species.

📖​It is like watching a child discover the world around it, only that he is dealing with a grown adult. You have an adventurous and free spirit much like the wind, frequently taking detours much to the annoyance for some of the other members of the troupe. Chrollo asks them all for patience though for you are much too precious and interesting to be thrown away right away. Years he has searched for you so he does not intent to steal your abilities right away. No, he intends to get to know the real you and not the you in all the old books and stories that he has sought out over time. He's fascinated with your soul, so young and yet so old and the connection with your previous lives that slumber somewhere within you. So he allows your shenanigans for he needs to gain your full trust, listens intently whenever you're willing to share your stories from your childhood and your time spent with the monks who raised you and trained you. Hide it as much as you may, he spots that hint of guilt and sadness as the knowledge that all the people that you treasured have been dead for years is a weight heavy to carry. Your pain is the path he needs to get closer to you though so he wishes for you to dwell in your sorrow.

📖​Your mindset is one that he is not able to understand and it only draws him closer to his nearing obsession. Raised by monks you were taught that all life is precious, a lesson he has never heard before. After all he grew up in Meteor City where humans were equal to trash. To be abandoned, neglected and forever forgotten about. Yet here you are, telling him that all life is equally worth? It is amusing yet Chrollo knows that reality is rarely as pretty as the ideals you believe in. A part of him wishes to drag you down that corrupted path, to destroy your beliefs and see your conviction shatter under the weight of reality. Another part of him almost wishes to shelter such purity so you may always remain naive and believe in your lessons passed down by your teachers. Such power as you possess is truly not fit for one unwilling to yield it. There is no conflict won through words and hopes as corruption and violence will always follow. Chrollo has observed humans long enough to realise that only few are as foolish as you are. The foolish ones are usually always the first ones to die as they are the ones who are trampled on, nothing more as a stepping stones for others.

📖​He's been the hand holding you and guiding you ever since you awoke from your sleep and now this very hand is unwilling to let go, clutching tightly to you as it drags you with it. You will not leave his side. Years he has invested and dedicated to find you and now that Chrollo finally has you he finds himself unable to get rid of you. You are the missing piece of his puzzle, the air he needs to breathe, the fire that warms him, the water that sustains his life, the earth that stabilises him. It is no longer a want but a need that is now driving him. He needs you with him. Now. Tomorrow. Forever. Whilst he is no fervent believer in God or the holy faith even Chrollo can't deny how truly ironic it is that the person who is the answer to so many of his questions was frozen in time only for him to find her. Actions need to be made fast for you progress much too fast with your bending abilities. Whilst you lack experience still and haven't yet mastered your entire powers Chrollo does not wish to risk a confrontation with you though he knows that you could never harm him or any of the other members. After all the Phantom Troupe are the first friends you made after being freed from the ice you were kept in.

📖​Haven't you always been secretly burdened by the fate chosen for you without you ever having been able to decide for yourself? Haven't you always secretly wished to be normal like everyone else? You've shared your insecurities and wishes with Chrollo, revealed bits of your heart to him which he greedily clutches to his own empty chest as every secret of yours fulfills him a bit more. You've shared your pain and your guilt with him and now he offers you to free you from all those chains tying you up. His Nen ability should be able to remove the Avatar spirit from you. He can give you the freedom you have always wished for secretly. To your own lament you recognise his true colours much too late, your heart weeping as you see the Phantom Troupe in their full capabilities. The kindness they have shown you and the love that Chrollo has fed you with have all been real yet were only parts of their true selves you find yourself now confronted with. You see them as no monsters though as most people would deem them, your eyes instead only seeing lost souls who have wandered on the wrong path. You wish to save them somehow yet deep down you know that they have all already chosen their paths.

📖​Only then does Chrollo reveal his true self to you, a merciless and apathetic man who sees humans no different to puppets. You will not escape him. Not now after he has finally found the heart he has been missing all along in you. He blackmails you, tugs at your heartstrings as he knows how deeply you care for him and his troupe yet he also frightens you as he threatens to involve innocent people and even dares to threaten Appa, your treasured friend. He truly doesn't wish to fight you and he already knows that you are no fighter yourself, prefering a pacifistic solution. Even if you should narrowly escape the net of the spider though as you flee with Appa know that you will never be truly free. Chrollo will hunt you down, follow every trace of you and burn down entire cities until he has you once more. You can run but you can't hide forever. Not from him. Even if he shouldn't find you in this life he is willing to step into truly forbidden territory. If the soul of the first Avatar has been able to be reincarnated then there is a chance that he might be able to reincarnate his soul with yours as well. Little spider, he will chase after you even after death, his soul always chasing after yours.

[thatnonameuser]

What do you think the general reaction would be towards a darling who is very relaxed and apathetic? Doesn't have strong reactions to things, doesn't get attached, doesn't worry. Even when faced with pain or suffering she simply accepts it and smiles. Completely detached from everything and everyone. Treats everyone the same, polite but distant. No fear of anything.

I could see sadistic yanderes like Jade getting frustrated because there's no way to truly distress her, but I'm curious about what you think he and the others would think.

An apathetic MC has to be the strongest darling out of all of them.

Indifferent to everything, even the yanderes. Uncaring about every little thing.

Let me explain how everyone would react.

Jade, our sadistic yandere responds to your apathy with his scariest expression. A calm smile. On the outside, he's as calm as ever, but on the inside, his mind would give seasoned war vets nightmares. Jade sees your apathy as a challenge. He's both angry and excited at your seemingly unbreakable nonchalance. Angry, because he can't seem to affect you no matter how hard he tries. And excited, because this means whatever finally causes you to snap will give him a once-in-a-lifetime kind of satisfaction. You know the saying....There's nothing like making a strong person cry, and he looks forward to that day with baited breath.

As for the others.........

They hate it. They love you, but they hate it. They know that what they're doing isn't the most ideal, but they do everything they do out of love. So please just say something! Say that you love them or hate them, they don't care what. Smile, laugh, cry, just do something! React!

Your lack of a response drives them up a wall. They have you and are happy about that. It's just that you don't ever acknowledge them, and all they crave is your attention and affection. That bleeding wound in their hearts is never full when you’re like this.

So please, they're begging you, just smile, say that you love them, or do anything! They'll give you whatever you want, just don't look at them like they're a stranger. The yanderes that are affected by it are Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Trey, Cater, Jack, Ruggie, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Epel, Idia, Malleus, Silver, Sebek.

Doesn't care, Leona is the King of not giving a shit, and while he is annoyed that you refuse to show him any affection of any kind, he doesn't really care about it as much as the others do.

The big thing is that he doesn't really care about how you feel about this. As a true possessive, he only really cares that you're all his and his alone. He's not one of those weak herbivores that desperately need your love and affection to survive. You being here is enough. And you’re staying whether you like it or not.

(I have an idea in my head that Leona and the darling MC are one of those married couples that look like they just barely tolerate each other, Leona still loves her but he’s not very loving in his behavior, so in this case he doesn't care if you're smiling or crying all he does care about is that you're his)

Floyd, like the others, hates your apathy, but he's very angry about it. With a normal MC, Floyd enjoys watching you react. Watching the fear and panic fill your eyes is fun to him. His shrimpy being boring and not reacting is boring. And he, like Jade, will try to force a reaction out of you. It doesn't work he'll keep trying till he gets one. He doesn't see that as hurting you, but as showing you how he loves you.

Jamil's UM gives him a win here, because he can force you to act affectionate with it. But the blank-eyed stare remains despite how hard he tries. And then he hates your apathy even more, because deep down he knows that it’s fake. Just like the rest of your 'acceptance'. Like the others, all he wants is for you to love him. And even you being brainwashed can't make him feel better.

Rook on the complete opposite end of the spectrum finds your dismissal of his acts ad endearing. No matter what you say or do, Rook finds you as his most important person, and that will never change been , no matter what yo do or say, he'll always be completely obsessed with you. And your lack of a reaction is equally infatuating to him. He wants to know why you're like this and wants to push the boundaries of what you can take. No matter what, he will always be obsessed with you, and he'll never push you to change because he loves your apathy too.

Platonic yanderes, Grim + Staff, don't mind your behaviour unless it affects them. Besides your apathy hurts the yanderes that want to force their tongues down your throat so they couldn't care less about your apathy. If it does affect them, then and only then, will they push you to change.

Ortho and Lilia on the other hand have a problem with it. One of the things they care about is seeing you be with your yandere And that yandere being happy. So like Jade and Floyd they'll try to force you to change the way you act.

Ortho is nicer about it because, he cares about you like his brother does. Lilia isn't, because he wants you to stop this childish phase and just accept what you're given with a genuine smile on your face.

But really, the only winner here is you. Even if you're stuck with them, isn't it worth it to make them suffer too?

[heavenlymorals]

Arthur Morgan's Depression

(Warning: Spoilers for RDR2 and mental health issues)

Arthur Morgan is depressed. Yes, I know the writers haven't exactly come out and said that he is depressed, but it does not take a genius to see that Arthur Morgan is a man who deals with many demons and monsters. Arthur Morgan has some sort of functional depression, and it is shown in many ways. In many missions, he seems downtrodden and sad, but he goes along with it anyway because what else can you do? He talks about himself in such a degrading manner in the mirror, and not just in a way that we all do sometimes, but in a way that invokes actual hatred of himself.

He thinks he's ugly when he's a conventionally attractive man. He thinks he's dumb when he's very witty and smart. He gets knocked down for his intelligence a lot by both Dutch and Hosea (we, as a fandom, need to stop pretending that Hosea is perfect because he really isn't). I know that dudes generally joke like that a lot, but those two aren't his “friends”; they are quite literally his father figures. It's different. His journal is filled with self-doubt, pain, and a general apathetic outlook on life.

But as I was playing “A Quiet Time,” one interaction between Lenny and Arthur stood out to me.

“Why ain't you never married?”

“'Cause no one will have me.”

In the context of this mission, I think this was written as an “oh damn” kinda joke, something out of left field to make the player laugh. But after thinking about it more, I realized something.

If you guys follow my posts, then you probably know that I love to interpret things from a sociocultural perspective—so let's do that.

Now, this is an obvious reference to Mary and how she rejected him in the end for Barry Linton to keep her family satisfied. It might also allude to Eliza or other female love interests that Arthur might've had at some point.

But it may also be a nod to the culture of 19th century America and what it entailed for men.

Arthur isn't married at 36 years old. Men were expected to be married generally by their twenties. He has no children or legacy—the only one he did have died years ago. He doesn't have property or a home—he's always on the move with the gang (given how defensive he got with that woman he picks up to go to Lagras, it's probably a point of insecurity). He has no respectable profession—he should've had an honest career by now.

He hopes that Dutch will get his shit together and have them put their outlaw ways behind them, but Dutch literally cannot, and Arthur is the one feeling the burn for it. He has missed so many milestones that he “should've” reached by this point, yet he is still doing the same thing he was doing since he was a young teen.

He can't bring himself to leave Dutch either, as he feels like he has a debt to pay to the man (“I gotta try! I owe him that, at least.”) that can never be paid.

And that has to fucking hurt. You already hate yourself on the outside by thinking you're hideous. You hate yourself on the inside because you think you're dumb. You feel unaccomplished, like a damn loser. And on top of all of that? You can't bring yourself to let go of all the factors that make you feel that way because “they're family” and “they need you.”

You're trapped, and everything feels awful. I'd be depressed too.

It might also be another reason why Arthur is jealous and angry at John. He has a wife, he has a child, he doesn't feel particularly obligated to the gang (hence leaving for a year), he has a chance to do better, and he just doesn't care. He's reached so many milestones that Arthur misses not because he wants them, but out of pure luck, and I'm sure Arthur feels bitter about it.

It's just sad, man.

[tied-ash]

“Everybody Lied to You!” | DRDT Mastermind AU

Hello, viewers! This section includes lots of spoilers for Danganronpa: Despair Time! Be warned!~ Also, it’s a VERY long read.

“I have to kill Teruko Tawaki.”

Don’t we all? I mean that literally. It’s our job as a team to exterminate the ultimate lucky student named Teruko Tawaki. And now, it’s your job, too! But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s introduce you to the crew! (^owo^)

KEY:

Status… The knowledge that they are a part of XF-Ture and/or the killing game.

Role… The knowledge that they are a part of XF-Ture and/or the killing game, as well as what part they play in this operation.

Veronika Grebenshchikova… General Helper

Aware of… Everybody’s Statuses

It’s you, the newest member of our team! Welcome aboard! I’m sure you didn’t actually mean to join our crew. It’s Arturo’s own fault that you managed to figure all of this out. After that fiasco, it was only natural that you’d find out everybody else is intertwined with this scheme. But, well, if you can’t beat us, you might as well join us, right?

Your purpose is very simple: You will help us in whatever we need. Since you are well aware of everybody’s status and are figuring out all of their roles, you will have no problem discerning when they need help. Offers can be declined if you discuss the offer with those of the “overseer” title (see Hu Jing and Whit Young), MonoTV, or those who are more important than those who were previously mentioned.

Whit Young… Overseer, (Unofficial) Entertainer

Aware of… Everybody’s Role

Whit is much calmer than everybody else. It’s almost as if running this killing game is second nature. With an almost apathetic attitude, he never fails to find a joke for a situation. There is one thing he takes seriously: Charles Cuevas. No matter what happens, Whit will use his extensive knowledge about unforeseen circumstances to keep Charles safe.

Whit’s job is simple: keep everything running smoothly. However, Whit seems to not take this job seriously. He has tendencies to break the fourth wall, lead the others astray, and do other activities that make him suspicious. The audience is aware of his role, even though we have yet to confirm their claims. However, he claims that this will work out in the end.

Hu Jing… Overseer

Aware of… Everybody’s Role

On the outside, Hu is a protective mother. On the inside, it appears that Hu is crumbling. She used to be lower on the scale of power, but due to the lack of candidates after the first trial. Hu’s role was shifted. She found it ironic how the woman not many people paid attention to would be the one in charge. However, her comfort with Nico, David, and Levi were never faked. She feels genuine despair at their confessions.

Hu’s job is simple: keep everything running smoothly. This could be due to her motherly nature, but Hu is significantly better at this than Whit. She’s much more strict than what is expected of her, but this often works in her favor.

Nico Hakobyan… Animal Trainer

Aware of… Whit’s Status

They just want to be loved. Or, at least, that’s what Hu seems to think of the situation. Regardless of what their exact motives are, the hatred that they have experienced has been mutualized. While they are aware of the horrible fates that will occur in this game, they seem to believe that it can always be worse.

Nico is in charge of the many animals that will play a part in this game. You’ve seen the wolves that devoured Min, right? Those were trained by none other than Nico Hakobyan, the ultimate pet therapist. Danganronpa: Despair Time does not condone animal violence; these wolves (and every other animal that may appear in the series) are under extensive care.

Julia “J” Rosales… Production

Aware of… Hu’s Status

Years of famous people getting away with horrendous acts have torn her down. Desperate to make the world see how horrible people can be, she paired with XF-Ture’s killing game. However, unbeknownst to her, she was only helping this double-standard. She became the one thing she swore she would defeat.

J is in charge of the production and posting of the show. This means she’s also in charge of many of the factors that go into the show, including the lighting, set design, and will rarely give her input on the character design. However, her main job is still just airing it on TV. It was an easy feat considering her ultimate talent.

David Chiem… Promoter, Entertainer, TRAITOR

Aware of… Xander’s Status

By becoming the ultimate motivational speaker, he became affiliated with XF-Ture and their horrible ideals. However, with his manager being a part of this operation, David was roped into it. While he didn’t care for this game at all, he has grown quite attached to Xander. This, of course, led him to be inspired to stop this killing game by any means necessary. With him nearly getting everybody executed, he has been classified as a traitor. After all, he misunderstood the assignment. The only way this killing game will end is if Teruko Tawaki dies.

As a promoter, it was David’s job to spread the word about this killing game show. His manager made sure he did a good job at doing that. Much to his dismay, that wasn’t the only job he was assigned. He was also made to be an entertainer, meaning that he was supposed to be a fan favorite (you know how much an audience loves a “t****r sexy-man”). But ever since it has been revealed that skewing the trial wasn’t for the drama, and actually had a reason… He cannot be trusted.

Min Jeung… Informant, TRAITOR

Aware of… Nobody’s Statuses

There was more to that deal than she bargained for, and she was not happy about that fact. Unaware that their main objective was to kill Teruko Tawaki through any means necessary, panic took over and she ended up saving the enemy. Now that she’s dead, the company’s remaking her! The process of making her into an actual informant is… slow… But AIs are easy to shape.

Min’s job was supposed to be real easy. She was supposed to give information on the other participants. We would use this information to determine who could be a possible traitor. Obviously… that didn’t work as well as we thought it would.

Arturo Giles… Fashion Department, Health Department

Aware of… Levi’s Role, Hu’s Role

Imagine messing up so badly that the company you work for gets a new recruit. That HAS to be some kind of salt-in-the-wound thing. Anyway, he didn’t really want to be part of this. In fact, it’s rumored that he didn’t even know this was a killing game. The reasoning behind joining a big company is scarce, but it might have something to do with the fact that he has no certificate yet, meaning that he has to start somewhere.

When he told us that he does not have actual medical experience, we assigned him with Levi. However, he is still expected to get his own experience. He is the only doctor in this killing game, meaning that their lives are in his hands.

Levi Fontana… Fashion Department, Muscle

Aware of… Arturo’s Role, Hu’s Role

Apathy works wonders in a game like this. Without any care for somebody’s fate, it’s easy to do as you’re told. Levi remains low. He does his job with little to no problems. However, his current act of saving Teruko Tawaki is currently being under review. We cannot have another traitor in this game…

It’s thanks to him that Teruko, Whit, Hu, and Ace were able to get changes to their design. His job is to make sure everybody looks fabulous. Of course, there are other factors to the job, such as making sure their character designs make sense to both their talent and personality. As for being the muscle of the operation, it’s self-explanatory.

Eden Tobisa… Mechanic, TRAITOR

Aware of… Whit’s Role, Min’s Status, Rose’s Status

This girl is planning something- the fact that what exactly she’s planning escapes us does not pull away the fact that she has something up her sleeve. First her attack on Xander, then making a half-assed truce with the two other girls in the baking squad… This girl is no good. She’s just as bad as David at this point. Keep an eye on her.

Despite her problems, she has yet to stray from her role as the mechanic. According to her, clocks have many mechanics that work in other projects. Making digital clocks seemed to be useful when helping to design MonoTV. She is also knowledgeable on many of the other electronics on the set.

Rose Lacroix… Memory Department

Aware of… Nobody’s Status

It’s unclear what Rose’s opinion on this is. She unknowingly took Eden’s truce, but still does her job perfectly. While I believe she isn’t happy with her situation, I also doubt that she will try to revolt any time soon.

Rose remembers everything. She just acts like she doesn’t. She was in charge of erasing Teruko Tawaki’s memories. She is aware of many things about everybody in this killing game, even if she doesn’t know that they’re working together. She is also in charge of motives, such as the latest motive secret. Why else do you think that she had possibly one of the lamest ones?

Arei Nageishi… Promoter, Instigator

Aware of… Eden’s Status, Whit’s Role

Such a cruel girl… She was perfect for this killing game. With an antagonizing personality, it’s no wonder why she got chosen to be an instigator. She makes fun of anyone, making sure they are weaker than her. Though, she’s developed some sort of relationship with Eden… Maybe she’s trying to make Eden come back to her senses?

As a promoter, her job was just to promote the killing game show- exactly like David’s role. Of course, it wasn’t the same thing, as Arei just wore a bunch of merchandise for XF-Ture (similar to those patches on race-car drivers). However, she also plays the role as an instigator, meaning that it’s her job to make sure people are on-edge during the game. Her cute-yet-dangerous personality played a large part in that.

Ace Markey… Muscle, Instigator

Aware of… Whit’s Role

Despite being terrified of everything, Ace is a very useful person. He’s a wonderful instigator, and he’s too scared of failure to ignore our orders. Even if he has a big mouth, actions speak louder than words.

As the “muscle” of the operation, it’s pretty self-explanatory on what that means. He works with Levi to move things. As an instigator, that’s also self-explanatory; he is to keep everyone on edge. He has been doing amazing at that, especially with Nico Hakobyan. Even though he may not seem like it, he is the star example of what an XF-Ture employee should be like.

Charles Cuevas… Sedator/General Chemist

Aware of… Whit’s Role, Hu’s Role

He’s afraid of blood. Thankfully, his job doesn’t have anything to do with that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be as good with it. He may act friendly with Teruko, but we have reason to believe that it’s just to get her guard down. After all, we don’t think he’d want Whit to be in danger just for Teruko to remain safe.

His role, like many others, is self explanatory- he works with chemicals that may be of use. He played a massive role in sedating everybody before the killing game started. Being a chemist, he’s extremely skilled in sedation. We also believe that he will be useful for any future motives that may be introduced, seeing as that it is possible that fear-inducing gas may be a helpful motive. However, nothing has been set-in-stone yet.

Xander Matthews… Killer

Aware of… Whit’s Role, Eden’s Status

Xander obviously didn’t want to attack Teruko, but it was his job. He’s a very determined soul, thinking the best in others while still refraining from a naive persona.

He was our final chance to do this peacefully. We just needed Teruko to die. Just Teruko. Nobody else needed to die. But now, with him gone, we’ll be going with full force. That woman had forced our hand.

So be it.

And here is the relationship chart!

It’s still in the works, but this is the gist so far!

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Vespera Folend Lore Dump <3

[Vespera Folend Lore Dump]

tw: murder, death, sexual assault, child abuse, adult/minor stuff, mentions of suicide/attempted suicide(?), self harm

[tw: murder, death, sexual assault, child abuse, adult/minor stuff, mentions of suicide/attempted suicide(?), self harm]

none of the above is depicted in a positive light. i do not support any of it i'm just doing what i do best, giving trauma to fictional characters

it's vespera. of course it's not a walk in the park.

Vespera had a sister named Zyti, who was five years older than her. As a child, Vespera was not talkative. Like, at all. She didn't speak at birth like most elves do, and her parents made no effort to teach her to speak. The only one who did was Zyti.

When Vespera was four (and Zyti was nine), their parents left them outside the human/elvin city of Atlantis. They were told to wait for them to come back, but they never did. The two sisters stayed there together all night, until they were found in the morning by a half human, half elf who took them into his home.

He told them to call him Father, and he provided them with shelter, food, all the basic needs. But... he wasn't a good father. He reminded them that they were in debt to him, because he'd saved them from the streets and what would certainly have been their death. And because of that... they had to do whatever he said.

Father physically, emotionally, and even sexually abused them. He punished them for doing anything he didn't like - including normal child things, like playing around, or crying. It became safer for them to just do nothing at all. Suppress how they really feel. Now, Father spoke both the Enlightened Language and a human language that is long since extinct. The only ones who know it are Vespera and a handful of other ancients who may have lived in Atlantis before it sunk. But Vespera lost the little progress she had made in speaking when Father adopted her, and only became fully fluent at seven years old. It's also part of what contributes to some of her speaking habits she still has today - while some of that can be contributed to her being ancient and locked away for thousands of years, she does tend to not use contractions as much, for example.

Vespera and Zyti were not let out of the house, until Zyti was a teenager, and was allowed to run errands and such. While out, she met a human named Achim, who was... a generally violent guy. He was an adult, while Zyti was around fourteen.

While not quite numb yet, Vespera had been emotionally shut off since she was a child. She was extremely apathetic, living through the days just for the sake of it, enduring everything from Father, and when she was allowed out under supervision, she mostly just observed people. All kinds of people.

Light leaping hadn't been invented yet, and Atlantis was one of the most diverse places, species-wise. It was mostly humans, as they had founded the city, and elves settled with them, being the most similar in appearance, and even creating some human/elf hybrids like Father. (when atlantis was later sunk, those hybrids were cast out with the humans, meaning there are humans today with small bits of elf DNA. humans didn't used to have blue eyes before mixing with elves.) You'd also see a few other intelligent species passing through, there was a section of town where a few families of ogres lived, since they didn't really have one big land yet, and the world was less divided by species at the time.

Vespera could sit in one place for hours, so still that a bird landed on her once and she didn't even move. She observed everyone she saw. It was her only hobby. She was more invested in these people's lives than she'd ever been in her own - she would watch the same people come to the same places and learn about them, she'd know their habits and tendencies, she could make elaborate assumptions all without even knowing their names.

Zyti had begun to see how messed up everything with Father was, and frequently got into fights with him, insisting she was leaving forever and never coming back, and Father let her go, because he knew. He knew that every time her guilt would have her coming back after a few days at most. She couldn't leave.

Now, Zyti usually stayed with Achim during these days she left, but occasionally she would find someone else to stay with when Achim was away. One of these people was an elf who coaxed her into doing things she didn't want to. I won't go into detail, obviously, but... the result was, Zyti got pregnant. She was only sixteen, and she knew she couldn't hide it from Father forever. She felt like she owed it to him for him to know. Besides, while she hadn't meant to get pregnant, she cared about this unborn child. She didn't want anything that Father did to hurt the baby.

Vespera was in the room when Zyti told Father, and needless to say... it didn't go well. She kept her arms wrapped around her middle to do what she could to protect the child, and that night, she ran away to stay with Achim again, and when she explained the situation and what had happened, he was livid.

After three days of Zyti not coming back, Father took it out on Vespera. She took it all in silence, not once uttering a cry of pain or discomfort, she closed her eyes and imagined she was dying.

At the time, Vespera was eleven. She didn't cry. She wasn't truly there, in her mind. She had completely shut off.

That is, until, a few weeks later, Vespera heard a commotion downstairs. She slipped out of bed and watched as Achim, who had broken into the house with Zyti's help, brutally murdered Father. Father fought back, but Achim overpowered him. Zyti was the one to bring the blade to his throat when Achim had him pinned down. She was the one who took his life.

Vespera approached them, and they stopped. Zyti dropped the knife and backed away, fumbling to explain that they were finally free, he couldn't hurt them anymore. Achim insisted he'd deserved it. But Vespera wasn't listening to either of them. She kneeled by Father's body and began hitting him as hard as she could. Just punching his open wounds, returning a fraction of the hurt he had caused. Then she reached for the knife and stabbed him a couple times. After that, she began to cut off his hands. Like some way of making sure he couldn't ever hurt anyone ever again.

Zyti and Achim could only watch, until Vespera raised the knife to stab herself and end it all. Zyti grabbed her arms and easily wrestled it away from her, tossing it to the side. Vespera didn't react, and her sister helped her up. They began to walk further into the city to go to Achim's house.

On the way, Vespera suddenly started to cry. She couldn't take it anymore, she stopped walking and collapsed, she was crying that hard. It was tears built up over years and years of being disconnected from everything, it all hit her like a... well, trucks didn't exist back then but you get it. Achim picked her up and carried her from there.

When people eventually found the scene of Father's death weeks later, it was clearly a crime, but there wasn't much they could do about it. Father, Vespera, and Zyti had lived just on the outskirts of the city, and nobody really knew to connect them at all, and nobody could connect them to Father's murder. Not that anyone really missed him.

Months later, Zyti ended up having her baby, but she was barely making it through. The only reason she'd been holding on was for her child, but after it was born, she gave in and her mind broke from the guilt of killing the man who raised her. There was nothing Vespera or Achim could do. Vespera tried so many times to wake her sister up, but nothing worked. It was the most grief she'd ever felt and ever will feel.

Achim was almost just as devastated, and didn't cope with it well. He and Zyti had sort of maybe been dating, well, they had something, despite the age difference. He coped with this by sexually assaulting Vespera on multiple occasions, and she just took it. She accepted it. She hated all of it, her head was filled with such horrible thoughts, but she'd grown up to never say no to something like this, especially from the man responsible for keeping her sheltered and alive. After three years, however, when Vespera was fourteen, she snapped and shoved him out a window on one of the upper floors.

Zyti's son was somehow still alive, and how the baby managed to survive 3 years in the care of a violent human and a violent traumatized elvin preteen/teenager is beyond me, but he did somehow. Feeling incredibly Nothing, Vespera left him on the side of the road at night, not unlike what her parents did with her and Zyti.

He was later taken in by a different elvin family, who cared for him and raised him in a good way. At least someone gets a happy ending. He is still alive today, and knows nothing of his dark past and connection to Vespera, despite their resemblence. He is actually the [some amount of greats] grandfather to Councillor Oralie, making Sophie Foster and Vespera Folend very, very distantly related.

Vespera tried to build her own life, but she didn't know where to start. She lived in Achim's house, and when questioned, she told every single one of them that he had committed suicide. at least that got her their pity. but she never connected with any of them. She would sit on the very windowsill she'd told Achim to lean out of and watch the people going about their lives from a bird's eye view. She was notoriously "creepy." And when people passing by glanced up and saw her, they hurried away, not wanting to witness it if one day she followed what they assumed Achim had done.

Vespera also preferred to cover up as much skin as she could, ever since she killed Achim, she started only wearing sleeves up to her wrists, gloves, collars or cloaks that covered her neck, and skirts that reached the ground. sometimes she even went as far as to wear a veil, not only because of her aversion to touch, but also because it made her feel like she had no identity- which, she didn't. She felt more like a ghost, and she often wished she was one. The extra fabric also helped her to not become overwhelmed when she manifested as an Empath, which was a conflicting experience for her. Sometimes, she would hate to touch anyone at all, but in rare occasions, she would go out to pretend to bump into someone, just to get a brief feeling of something.

After a few years, she became less strict with herself by ditching the veil and the gloves, for the most part, and began slowly trying to ground herself by journaling instead of cutting or bruising herself (which she had been doing for years). She wrote about people she saw. she wrote about Father and Zyti. She wondered how Father and Achim could have been so violent while her sister broke under it all. Speculation about the potential strength of human minds, the seeds for what would later become a full on facility.

Things began to change very rapidly, with the invention of light leaping, elves Vespera had never seen before were popping up out of nowhere and settling here. And there was talk of a king? Well, she knew that a lot of the other species had rulers, but humans and elves both either had smaller leaders for different places, or just self-governed areas. But that was to change very soon.

One of the newcomers to Atlantis was Fintan Pyren, who she encountered when he was trying to push open a pull door. She hadn't laughed, like, ever, but it did make her smile. She might have even been amused. They began talking, and Vespera wondered if she was forming some sort of connection. they talked almost every day, he reminded her to take care of herself (that wasn't her strong suit), and she did what she does best- she sat in silence. But it turned out quietly writing with someone is much better than quietly writing alone.

However, the friendship she had with Fintan was nothing compared to what she had with Vespera. She began to open up to her, to genuinely trust her, prior to going numb. Luzia was truly enamoured of her, and Vespera had no idea if she truly felt the same, or if it was just her Empathy. And while they never fully undressed in front of each other, Vespera felt comfortable enough to show her arms and legs, which was huge for her. But then Luzia went and ratted her out to the council and stole her illusions and got her sent to prison.

the end <3

[mjrtaurus]

I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to the day when Dragon and Sabo return to the Goa Kingdom to finally overthrow the corrupt nobility and ensure that those condemned to Grey Terminal will no longer have to live in utter squalor. Sabo gave Dadan carte blanche to take whatever she wants from the Outlook family mansion to hock or bring back to the Mount Corvo hideout. Oh sure naturally a lot of it will be redistributed to the general populace, no question. But c'mon. After everything she's had to put up with over the years Dadan deserves to splurge a little.

Of course, the people who he still has trouble believing are biologically related to him plead with him to stop these wretched revolutionaries and filthy peasants from tearing down their opulence. Doesn't he recognize his own parents?!

With an apathetic shrug, Sabo matter-of-factly tells them their fear is making them confused. They only have one son, the sniveling King Stelly who Sabo just finished prying off his throne like a leech. If they're curious about Sabo's father, they'll have plenty of time to talk as he escorts them to Revolutionary custody. In fact, here he is now, the sky crackling with every footstep he takes into the room and the smell of ozone trailing after him.

They shout abuse at the thunderstorm of a man, telling him how he’s filled their son’s head with lies and foolishness and that if it weren’t for him and his demon spawn, they would have shaped Sabo up to be better than whatever this tasteless barbarism is.

Dragon is silent through it all, but the smell of ozone gets stronger and stronger, the stormy sky outside flickers with lightning and roars with thunder.

“Sabo. Pull back your hair for a moment.” His voice is deadly calm. The scowl on his face is enough to leave anyone cowering, but his eyes… oh, those eyes were every bit the devil the former World Government made him out to be.

Sabo does as instructed, the already present vindication he’s been feeling spiking high as his “parents’” faces pale at the sight of decade old burn scars.

Dragon lists every single injury caused by the Celestial Dragon’s attack that their heartlessness put him in the path of in horrible, gory detail. He tells them of how he fished the boy out of the bay while they did nothing. He tells them how that boy had four seizures in the time it took him to get to the Wind Granma’s doctor while they did nothing. He tells them of how that boy’s heart stopped twice during surgery while they did nothing. He tells them of how that boy fought for himself harder in those moments than either of them had ever fought for him in the ten years they’d lorded over him. He tells them of how they’d had the privilege to have a child that they could love and cherish in freedom and safety, yet chose to do nothing but hurt again and again and again!

He circles behind them and forces them to look up at the child they abused and abandoned.

“How dare you look him in the eye today after everything you’ve done and have the audacity to say that you are his mother and father.”

They aren’t executed. Death would be a mercy they didn’t deserve. No, those two would have the rest of their lives to think about what they had done. Dragon and Sabo hope the shame crushes them.

[wuzhere75]

I love WoF AUs that go “what if different eggs got taken for the dragonet prophecy” and we get a different set of dragonets for an alternate version of the 1st arc.

So yeah I decided to make my own (I’ve gone through a couple of different iterations, but this is the most current.

The quirk here is that I basically thought “wait what if the dragonets where everything Morrowseer had wanted”. Like they just ended up with with a perfectly normal set of a Mud, Sand, Sea, Night, and Skywing. No replacement-that-is-of-a-different-tribe-because-one-of-the-guardians-fucked-something-up. No obvious hybrids. They get left alone for another year, and emerge from the cave to the chaos of the events of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd arcs all at once.

(Also another quirk is that they are all related in some way to a canon character; Asha and Hviter are also still alive)

Bigshadow (She/They)

-She’s the big soft himbo-type character. Due to severe nearsightedness, they’ve always had difficulty reading/writing. The guardians just assume she’s dumb, but she really loves learning and art.

-I can’t remember if it’s canon that Secretkeeper and Morrowseer had tried to had dragonets before Moonwatcher and that they had “lost” them, but I decided for this AU, an attempt had produced a viable egg and Morrowseer decided “what would be a better dragonet to lead the dragonets of destiny than my own”, stealing the egg and flying through the night to the cave.

-Due to this, Bigshadow was partially exposed to the moonlight of the Brightest Night, giving her somewhat unreliable psychic powers. Most of the time she misinterprets them as being very weird dreams/intrusive thoughts.

-Shortly after Morrowseer did his year-prior check in, they start to feel a strange presence in their dreams and swear they hear someone calling to them from outside the cave when things are quiet (*cough* *cough* Darkstalker).

Mangrove (He/They) (yes I know there is already a canon character named Mangrove; it’s a sick name)

-Gumpy quiet sad man who’s in to medicine and nature

-In this universe, Gill gets a “funny feeling” during the Brightest Night and decides to take what would be Tsunami’s egg so he can “be with his new daughter during her hatching”. Webs, then, takes one of the male eggs instead when he breaks into the hatching room.

-The AU Sandwing minder; Jackal (more on her later), was a little too rough on him when was younger during fight practice (maybe I should have featured a scar somewhere in his design?). Due to this, he abhors violence.

Mole (She/Her)

-The softly spoken nerd who gets picked on for not being the big strong meatbag Mudwing the guardians had wanted. She has a secretly love for war history and is probably really good at strategically fighting (in a real world AU she would be an American Civil War or WWII nerd).

-Asha couldn’t get Cattail to give up Clay’s egg, so Crocodile (remember that lady?) gives Asha “her” blood red egg (she actually stole it from her sister, Toad) at the last minute.

-I originally had her as being from a non-blood red egg Crocodile just painting red but the Sandwing minder probably just would have incinerated her.

Coyote (Any Pronouns) (I’m not sure about the name; I wanted something related to new world deserts but not named after a cactus and I don’t feel like Gila or Mesa fit).

-Apathetic bastard who hates everyone except her adoptive siblings (basically as far as you could get from Sunny without being an outright evil asshole).

-In this AU, Dune never left the Outclaws (the dragonet that would have been Sunny is raised among them). Due to this, a different Sandwing minder was chosen from the TOP; Jackal.

-Jackal was…umm…very devout to the prophecy and willing to “weed out anything that wasn’t promised in the prophecy” (she probably would have killed both Glory and Sunny immediately, Starflight not having psychic powers probably would have set her off as well).

-Jackal stole the egg of her brother, Corsac, a general in Blaze’s army. Corsac and his wife, Bison, caught her in the middle of the act, but she got away (they would later have a son, Pronghorn, like the one from JMA).

Shrike (They/Them)

-The artsy goth kid who loves supernatural stuff (they go wild every time Hviter or Webs starts talking about amunism).

-Kestrel in this AU either doesn’t have Peril/Sky in the first place or chooses to fuck off into the mountains with her kids (perhaps with the help of Soar/Chameleon?). Maroon (name also pending), a different Skywing, is instead chosen. Due to Maroon being less “high profile” than Kestrel, he is chosen to steal the Skywing egg, being more familiar with what hatcheries are more or less highly guarded than others (unlike, say, Hviter).

-This version of the dragonets have made a giant cave mural with the help of Asha and the Maroon. Shrike is the primary contributor to this mural even though the other dragonets have “grown out of it”. Mostly, they paint Bigshadow’s “dreams”.

-They are intrigued by Bigshadow’s dreams and is the only one who thinks they are more than just dreams.

-They make jewelry out of bones from the prey animals the guardians bring them (originally I was going to include a necklace with some skulls and stuff, but that shit’s hard to draw).

-I had no smooth way of tying to fit this in but he is either the half-sibling or cousin (I haven’t decided) to the Skywing False Dragonet, Flame.

[american-dream-novel]

REVIEW: The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend by Maddy Court

Whenever I delve into a new project, I make serious considerations about what research is necessary for it. What areas do I lack knowledge in? What is the project focused on, and can I answer to those themes intelligently? The next step is to start finding books I feel might answer those questions and get reading.

When it comes to American Dream, I knew I would have to delve into gender and sexuality. In particular, lesbian identities and experiences, especially those that dyke/butches, etc. experience. I identify as bisexual, but there is something within the dyke/butch/masc labels that, while I do not feel comfortable taking up as my own, appeal to me and my identity.

Because of this and the centrality of the characters' lesbianism — I knew I had to read up. I checked out The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend without knowing it was actually dating advice for queer folk. Nevertheless, it proved to be informative!

I read all of Maddy Court's (and friends) advice in one sitting. I'm currently going through a weird phase in my own romantic life — breaking up with my partner of 3 years, exploring polyamory & generally what I want out of relationships, discovering I may not be as sex-apathetic as I’d thought — so on a personal level, Court's book was extremely helpful. If you're a queer person, the book covers everything from new love, getting over someone, finding your place in the community, coming out, etc. There's a little something for everyone. It was comforting, even though I've been out for 5ish years, to read something written for you in mind.

What shocked me the most about reading TEGOMEGIMG (lol) is that I forgot straight people get all these resources about love, relationships, etc. and we don't have that same wealth of resources, which is especially frustrating as our love inherently exist outside of what our society deems "normal" or "acceptable" or the "status quo." This book did a phenomenal job of reminding me that I may be queer, but I'm human, too. In that way, I cannot recommend this book enough!

TAKEAWAYS & IMPORTANT INFORMATION:

On a I'm-researching-for-a-book level, I would not say that this does the job except in a very particular way. This isn't a problem! I'm the dumbass who didn't read the description before checking it out lol. For research purposes, though, these are the things I found most informative:

Transmisogyny is alive and well in the queer community! As a trans masc individual, I'm keenly aware that the experiences of trans femmes/trans women are different from my own, and given Judi is a trans woman (a particularly masc-presenting one at that), the book opened my eyes to some considerations I should have when writing her, what her experiences might be realistically, etc. Central to her character is her feelings of alienation and loneliness. What role would her experiences in queer, sapphic communities have in those feelings? I want things to be nuanced of course, and the question from Ex-Girlfriend that deals specifically with these experiences and frustrations (beautifully answered to by Mey Rude) points to some of those considerations in representation.

The difficulties in finding your queer community, even when you move to a new place or think you've found some great people. Each of the main characters face some level of alienation, both self-imposed but also as a result of their experiences. Eddie really struggles with finding his place, especially in rural Michigan, and I found Maddy's perspective as a midwestern queer illuminating — how her dating life has adapted to the fact that her pool of queer friends and acquaintances isn't terribly large, so she's accepted that LDRs are going to be common in her life.

Compulsive heterosexuality. While I wouldn't call it a central part of Birdie, I do want to explore that part of her. When the story starts, she's with a man — her best friend of 6-8 years, someone she grew to love over time and found attractive. She thinks of him as the one-off guy, even though she's had other partners in the past that were men. Overall, the q's regarding comp het and internalized homophobia were illuminating in this regard, especially as I struggle with both myself.

FINAL REVIEW:

9/10, but not very useful for the purposes of researching queer identities and representation. I would recommend the book to literally anyone — it's such a short read, and you'll walk away with a leveler-head. You'll feel like you're filled up with all this good advice, all this love for yourself, your friends, for the people you will meet. The book soothed a lot of my anxieties, some I hadn't even been able to recognize. For what it is, Maddy Court's The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend does exactly what it set out to do. In that way, there's not much criticism to give.

[lowkeyorloki]

I have been missing asis loki more than a tad.

Possible melancholic moments (for him):

Finding out sweetheart isn't pregnant (I feel like he was a bit hopeful)?

The whole Nat situation (especially when it came to light).

Dealing with Narvi's questions after the break(up). I know Narvi missed her loads and that Loki had maybe started to (or did?) see her as a mother to Narvi by then.

I would happily devour anything asis related. I have considered getting it printed but I am worried you might add something new that I wish I could have put it the book too. If it's okay with you, of course?

Hey there anon! I understand missing the fic. It's quite nostalgic for me, as it spanned almost my entire collegiate career. Before I respond to the meat of your message, let me just say: YES OFC YOU CAN PRINT IT!! I don't think I'll add anything to asis, but I do want to revise it a bit more. I have no clue when I'll do that though, so I wouldn't wait or anything. Also... if you print it, remember my beta made a cover for the fic. Also also,,, I would love a copy 🥺🥺🥺

Anyway, onto your actual ask!

Finding out sweetheart wasn't pregnant was a very bittersweet moment for Loki. Loki loves sweetheart, and he knew even at that time that he would want to have kids with her. Meeting sweetheart made Loki ponder over everything he had given up hope for: marriage, a partner, more kids, etc. etc. When it became clear she may be pregnant, it made Loki realize he not only wanted kids, but he wanted them sooner than later due to Narvi's age.

Realistically, Loki knew it was selfish of him to want sweetheart to be pregnant. He also knew - especially after her reaction to possibily being pregnant and the whole breakup situation - that maturity-wise, she wasn't ready. Still, when she told him she wasn't pregnant, it was definitely hard for him to hear. He chose his words very carefully in that moment; recall he said "I'm happy for you. I know that's what you wanted."

In terms of the Nat situation, Loki found it unfortunate, but he didn't ultimately care outside of its effect on sweetheart. He was concerned that she was losing her best friend, but to Loki, who has only had himself, Thor + Jane, and Narvi, it may not have registered as big a deal as it should. Loki was completely fulfilled once sweetheart stumbled into his life, and so I think in a way, he subconsciously assumed it would be the same for her.

On top of that, while Loki can objectively understand he was wrong in the Clint situation (that was how I weaved his status as a villain into asis - I wanted to incorporate all aspects of his character), he made it very clear he didn't regret it. Because what happened with Nat is an offshoot of the Clint thing, Loki would have been even more apathetic to the whole thing. Both Loki and Nat have a bitterness towards each other from that, and it's a bitterness neither could fully ignore for the sake of their relationship with you.

Finally, as we saw in the Loki chapter, Narvi doesn't ask much about you/sweetheart. He simply tells Loki he misses sweetheart. Loki mentions the fact that sweetheart was a mother figure to Narvi during their breakup and the months after. Basically, Loki shut down anytime Narvi mentioned her. We saw him delve back into bad habits (such as the drinking of copious amounts of wine, or not eating) in the months they weren't together, and commiserate in general. I think in this time, Loki provided very little information to Narvi (which we saw him totally beat himself up over in the chapter he narrated). It was hard for both of them. Loki's response to devastating situations is definitely avoidance, and I think that carried over to any of Narvi's questions.

Let me know what you think of all this! Thank you for the ask and your compliments. Ily very muchhhhhhh 🫶

[theskylarkin]

KHOC Week Day 5 - Game

While Relai struggled to connect with the other kids of San Fran, Mariss made some new friends when they joined their highschool bot fighting team, the South Bay Surfriders.

What is bot fighting exactly? Bot fighting, or “Competitive Robotics” as it’s officially called, is a combination of robot combat (like the old tv show Robot Wars), an organized team sport (compared to the back alley fight club setting that Hiro is involved in at the beginning of Big Hero 6), and an esport MOBA. The teams of five competitors build their own robots and set them against each another team on a split field with a “home base” at each end. The team who manages to get through their opponent’s defenses and capture their base first is declared the winner.

Bot fighting is a very popular sport in San Fransokyo, as it's exciting and violent without any chance of serious human injury (unlike the football games of the past century). The sport is played in official ranked leagues from an elementary school level to teams of paid professionals who are treated like celebrities.

There are some restrictions on what it permissible on the field. Certain weapons that can get through the transparent energy fields separating the bots from their operators and the spectators are obviously banned, as is any (human) physical contact or verbal abuse between the teams. Everything else? Fair game.

Competitors at a highschool level are supposed to build their own robots with the parts funded by the school itself. South Bay Highschool, like every other school, encourages (but doesn’t require, hint hint wink wink nudge nudge) the teams to seek outside sponsorships to gain additional funding and better bot parts. The South Bay Surfriders are currently sponsored by New Wave Industries (a division of Kaneko Mega Corp.), hence the name “Surfriders”.

The roles of the competitors on the field vary between the individual teams but typically fall into three general categories: damage dealers (offense), tanks (defense), and supports. Mariss, being a pacifist, has the role of main support and secondary tank. Their bot is actually several smaller drones able to project hard light holograms as shields and barriers. Mariss did built these themself, so they’re perfectly legal…as long as no one notices the magic they use to power the drones since San Fransokyo isn’t supposed to know about magic existing.

Off the field, Mariss is also the team’s mechanic, able to quickly fix up everyone’s bots between matches. They’re perfectly happy in their role as they’re not into the competitive aspect of the sport; Mariss joined the team to build their own robots and meet new friends.

Here’s the rest of the South Bay Surfriders:

Tahira Al-Amin (She/Her)

Picrew Used (Removed)

Age: 17 (Junior)

Team Role: The Leader, Strategist

Field Role: Overwatch/All-Rounder

Aside from being the leader of the school’s bot fighting team, Tahira is also ASB Secretary and co-captain of the Chess club. She thrives in competitive and stressful environments, able to keep an ice cold demeanor and lead the team to snag a victory from the jaws of defeat, but comes off as aloof and unnecessarily combative in less pressing situations because she can’t turn that intensity off sometimes. Tahira is (childishly) concerned with appearing mature and “grown up”, which works on Mariss as they want to be like her "when they grow up."

On the field, Tahira’s bot is an adaptable glass canon, able to quickly maneuver around where needed and hit enemy weak spots with its energy lance as long as it can duke attacks.

Quinn Caldwell (She/They)

Picrew Used

Age: 16 (Junior)

Team Role: The Personality/Hype Beast, Promotion and Social Media Manager

Field Role: Front Lane/Left Field Damage Dealer

Quinn manages the team’s socials and speaks on their behalf during school events because she’s got the kind of brash and loud personality needed to get apathetic highschool students to get hyped up about the team. She’s very extroverted and can trash talk like no one else, but is prone to getting sulky and passive aggressive when things don’t go her way. Mariss might be projecting onto Quinn a little bit because she’s got a similar temperament to Relai but actually cares about the stuff they’re into like bot fighting and video games.

Quinn is prone to going for style over substance, and the design of her bot is the perfect example of this. It’s piled up with as many weapons as the frame can carry, making it slow but powerful and versatile. The excessive RGB lights are also an extra source of weight and battery drain.

Gabriel Delgado (He/Any)

Picrew Used

Age: 17 (Senior)

Team Role: The Heart/Emotional Rock, Conflict Mediator

Field Role: Primary Tank, Secondary Support

Compared to the rest of the team, some people might mistake Gabriel as a lazy hanger-on, especially since his primary reason for joining the team was to have something under extracurricular activities for his college applications. He’s the oldest upperclassmen and should be the leader…but he’s totally fine listening to Tahira because he hates the responsibility of authority. In truth, Gabriel is just very chill and amazing at managing his levels of stress compared to the rest of the high-strung team, totally pulling his weight as a team member and being serious when the situation calls for it. His calmer mindset makes him a good conflict mediator and motivational speaker when things aren’t going great, as Mariss found out when he talked them out of impulsively quitting the team after their first loss.

Just like how Gabriel has a lot more going on below the surface, so does his bot. It might look like a slow-moving metal brick until the front plating slides back to reveal the EMP pulse launcher or the hidden rocket jets send it careening across the field to ram into an opponent.

Osamu “Sam” Kaneko (He/Him)

Picrew Used

Age: 15 (Sophomore)

Team Role: The “Financier”, Brand Manager

Field Role: Back Lane/Right Field Damage Dealer

The only other sophomore on the team besides Mariss and arguably the person responsible for them joining in the first place, Sam has aspirations of becoming a professional bot fighter someday. However, his primary contribution to the South Bay Surfriders is funding the team with his dad’s money. Sam is well-meaning, trying to use his family connections and social clout to help his friends on and off the field; after their first tournament, he bought the whole team new and expensive shoes like Mariss’ Osaka Bengals sneakers. However, he’s still got the typical rich kid flaws of failing to fully understand his economic privilege and being insufferably self-centered at times.

On the field, Sam and Quinn have to be kept apart as much as possible because both damage dealers are aggressive attackers and selfish glory hounds, prone to infighting if one tries to kill steal from the other. Sam’s bot is always rocking the trendiest frame, the coolest decals, and the most powerful weapon set up according to the current meta game…but that’s because he’s so cavalier with his bot that it always ends up smashed to pieces and needs to be completely rebuilt. It’s no big deal to Sam, it’s not like he can’t afford new parts.

@khoc-week

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Its your tumblr man. talk about nova if you want!

I don’t have the time to explain the entirety of the shadow the hedgehog arc but it’s eating my brain like. he and shadow are both created beings who feel aimless and confused but nova knows why he was created while shadow doesn't. and bc nova is metal sonic he knows shadow's past so he kind of ends up becoming a mentor to him bc he relates (though he’s a manipulative amoral shit so he is not upfront about anything, except that shadow is not a robot bc that gives him an excuse to kick him as hard as possible and then gloat about how if he were truly a robot he wouldn’t be able to feel the pain and therefore he’s inferior). neither of them know what morality is and they stumble through most of the haphazard plot points in one way or another trying to figure it out. he flat out just ditches shadow when black doom shows up for last story bc he fundamentally cares more about defeating sonic than literally everything else and if sonic is eaten alive he can’t do that so he saves his life. he accidentally ends up in a qpr with him bc sonic (not entirely incorrectly) assumes that “i will keep you safe until you have reached your full potential and i have mine, then i will prove my superiority and kill you and relish in it, but until then i feel satisfied in existing around you and i will continue on your legacy after i kill you” is essentially the closest thing he can get to a confession and being both very aroace and an adrenaline junkie sees “close friendship until one of us kills the other” as way more fun than, like, anything anyone sensible would consider a qpr. he adopts a chao. when he realises trans people exist he immediately goes “okay. i will beat everyone at every gender” and starts using any/all pronouns bc they should rightly belong to him. she goes to therapy.

06 isnt entirely planned but i do know how it ends (mephiles killing sonic was the exact best way to piss off nova and bc he is metal sonic's sonic oc rp character and he has all the power he has in heroes and more solaris fucking dies painfully. also they absorb his power which would be terrifying if they were still trying to conquer the world but instead they’re using their irl amino rp to cope with their issues marginally better) and unleashed onwards is mostly just a collection of ideas. the main plots still happen bc like, nova does like larping as a organic normal hedgehog but he fundamentally views the world through the lens of his ultimate showdown with sonic and proving his superiority being the only thing that matters and he Wants sonic to go through adversity to grow stronger as he also grows stronger by. mostly just pirating the dna of various gods honestly. but she also will Not tolerate anyone killing sonic but herself (and in general will Not tolerate anyone killing sonics friends or her father bc she considers them + sonic the only tolerable organics even if she considers everyone but sonic as inferior to herself) so. forces is fun. and also there’s a reason for the metal sonic illusion to be a thing (bc metal left the nest and is pretty apathetic to the whole “taking over the world” thing outside of it letting it commit grievous bodily harm)

there’s originally a much starker divide between nova (as metal sonics own deviantart recolour) and neo metal sonic as himself but by the time sonic and friends know who he is and don’t immediately reject him for that or the inherent fact he's got a very different and oftentimes confusing mindset and way of thinking than them he's very casual at slipping between the two and uses both names interchangeably. he generally prefers his organic disguise, bc he can go outside with it, but uses his original voice (which is monotone sonic with electronic distortion) and usually turns off the systems he made so he automatically moves and emotes in a more natural manner bc he finds emulating stuff like breathing or crying uncomfortable and disgusting even if he’s able to tolerate looking organic.

[vitalconviction]

Sephiroth, for that ask thing

Sexuality Headcanon:

Gay in the way that any person they would enter a relationship with would be a queer relationship, that's just how they work

Gender Headcanon:

biology wise I have Seph always as intersex in some regard and genderwise it depends on how much thought he's spared himself--overall I think he's nonbinary in the most overarching definition and if given the chance to exist outside shinra he would gravitate towards femininity and eventually land on only feminine pronouns for herself! as it stands canonically i think she transcends gender in the corrupted ascenion to godhood seph has, but overall has left the aspect of his gender unassessed

A ship I have with said character:

tsengseph! genseph! I like smashing the obvious yin and yang counterparts together and also the red guy with the almost-sort-of-blue guy

One day I'll answer this on a more eloquent level HAHA

A BROTP I have with said character:

aeriseph but I do also ship them sometimes--i just cannot get over the thematic resonance of the child of the calamity and a child victim of the calamity essentially unionizing. This would be peak full circle, cue the cycle breaking, cue the chrysalis to butterfly, all that jazz

A NOTP I have with said character:

angealseph/sephgeal-- i personally find angeal unbearable. he really annoys the fuck out of me im sorry angeal fans but he's not my man... I think that his hardheadedness/stubbornness in his idea of honour would grate on sephiroth, but the reason sephiroth likes him is because of his care otherwise. It's just not something I can see sephiroth pursuing romantically though Lol so in that vein I also don't really like AGS or any angeal ot3 😔

A random headcanon:

niche weirdest hc i have is the eyeball nipple ALSO applies to seph, he has that eyeball nipple guys.

Less insane hc is that he is a sugar fiend, desserts are his favourite food and his drinks could all be classified as syrup. also despite not being the biggest fan of citrus he really really likes yuzu! I tend to flit between him being vegetarian and not as well, mostly because he would be tripping over himself to try new things because he's excited over the prospects of new sensory stimulas that isnt, say, Pain in a new flavour

General Opinion over said character:

WAAAAUUUGH! i love this blorbo. I wish he had a chance to live and not die everything he was always going to be. It was really self fufilling and in the end he died as what Hojo wanted of him--never breaking free, dying under the abuse, becoming the abuse that made him. Fucking kills me! I want a world where he breaks the cycle, where he becomes the future. That's a reason I love the transformative aspect of fandom here, I couldn't love ff7 the way I do without all the AU's, there is just far too much here to mess with, to reshape.

Totally tangentially, but I don't agree with people speaking of him being irredeemable or deserving of punishment, these are fundamentally reductive ideas and don't even line with the politics of ff7 itself LOL Atonement and redemption does not mean everyone suddenly forgives and forgets, but it does mean everyone is afforded another chance. Everyone is deserving of that. Even people who've committed heinous acts, because foundationally they're still people. It all depends on whether or not they double down on their damage and believe in it till the end, if they're apathetic and even jubilant at their violence. If he came back uncaring, apathetic, and fundamentally unchanged from the blind bitter hate filled attitude he had before, then yes he is unredeemable because he is refusing it. But were he to acknowledge the wrongs and try to right them, try to move on and apologize then yes he could work for atonement. Sorry for the random anti-punishment rant LOL I've just been thinking abt this for a while, check out philosophytubes video on capital punishment (its on youtube!) for further challenges on this idea :D

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

Heyoooo!! Another question. ('Cause your XOD rants are one of my favorite things.) Thoughts on Nate x Eve x JB & Pran x Eve x Jere, because those also float around?- Dynamics, romance, friendship: Yap to your heart's content!!

I LOVE BOTH OF THESE ACTUALLY OMG

I'm gonna put this one under the cut because it's a lot, but just to avoid confusion, I use she/her pronouns for Pran ! Which you probably know if you read the other posts but just as a general disclaimer 😭

I talk a lot about how Everett and Nate are just such a great dynamic, and I think people underappreciate Everett's part in it. Most of the content I see around them surrounds the idea that Everett is the only person Nate can show genuine emotion around, and while I do really love that, there's also so much to be said about how Nate is the only person Eve can truly trust to tell him the truth. He might be brutally honest, but honesty is something Everett does not hold himself to- It scares him. To have someone hold you so dearly that they want you to be a better person and they will stand by you even when you can't be is so important, it's a state of vulnerability that neither of them has known, living most of their childhoods in SSB.

This is why JB fits into their dynamic so well. She lacks a filter, and she doesn't entertain the fronts that other people put up. She's able to fluster Nate so easily because she gives him what he truly wants- A fight with someone on his level. Everett gets scared to be direct with her because he's used to only Nate doing that- Hence why he tries to backtrack when he asks her out in his confession ending. He THINKS she likes him, but how can he be sure?

SPEAKING OF EVE I AM GONNA START ON THE OTHER TRIO NOW I THINK

I never ever shut up about Pran we know this- Her character is so dear to me and I am forever thinking about the way she is to cope with the world around her.

I think at a basic level it's important to remember that the Jeremy she met as a child was OL:BA Step 2 Jeremy. He is full of anger a rebellion at the same time Pran knows nothing but fear. The Jeremy we see in XOD is one that has turned to apathy because anger did not fix his problem. I read this as them mutually deciding that it doesn't matter what anyone else says, does, or thinks. After all, they have each other now, who cares if they can't make anyone else like them ?

However I also need to stress the fact that neither of them are fully apathetic, despite the fact that others say they are. Jeremy is still angry. He shows emotion when JB flirts with him because she is the only person to be outwardly kind to him outside of his parents and Bae, both of which infantalize him. Pran, on the other hand, is still scared. She has always been neglected, she doesn't know any other way to be. When she and Jeremy go to SSB, she is there because her own family didn't want to take care of her. She feels like a burden, and blames herself for Jeremy's isolation from other people. It's not a secret that Pran is insecure with how intimidating she is. Even something as simple as a mention of her height will have her leaving a conversation without hesitation. This is why she distances herself from him. If she isn't seen with him, he can be normal.

And then, of course, there's Eve.

Eve, who isn't used to feeling actual attachment to people. Eve, who is bright and loud and everything Pran is not. Eve, who seems to genuinely WANT to be around her.

Eve, who treats the only person she has ever cared about like shit.

This isn't a difficult decision for her- She probably assumed Everett would tire of her eventually anyway, as everyone else had. Cutting him off early was just cutting out the middle man, something she is more than willing to do if it means not hurting Jeremy's feelings.

And now Eve is dealing with rejection. Whether or not he knows the reason Pran suddenly wouldn't be around him, Eve is mad. He prides himself on his charisma, people love him, or at least fear him enough to pretend. Someone like Jeremy, who is so similar to him, yet seems to not care about anyone else's opinions on him, upsets him.

This is something really interesting about Everett, he doesn't like people that are like him. He and Jeremy both find comfort in sarcasm. They're both pushovers, even though Eve likes to pretend he isn't. They're both wary around shows of genuine affection. Had the world treated them better, they likely could've gotten along just fine, especially considering Nate, much like Jeremy, was a very angry child.

There is a lot of healing that needs to happen before Eve can fit into the dynamic, either platonically or romantically. I don't often think about Eve and Pran romantically, because I headcanon her as a lesbian, but I DO think about Eve and Jeremy. Part of me does enjoy the hypothetical dysfunctional relationship they would have during highschool, but I also love the slow burn potential of them post-graduation. I think Everett is arguably a good person to help Jeremy become more open due to his stubborn nature. I also think Eve and Pran could be good friends once Pran works through some of her issues. I can see Eve being really teasing towards her, and her pretending she doesn't find it funny. In general I just adore the dynamics and story writing between the three of them and I think about it a lot <3

[newmusickarl]

Top 50 Albums of 2023: #30-21

30. Everything Is Alive by Slowdive

I’ll be the first to admit that despite the heavy praise from the amazing Music Twitter community (I’m not calling it X, sorry Elon), before this year I had never completely bought into the Slowdive hype. Although I enjoy their 2017 self-titled comeback record, I had never taken to the shoegaze legends in the same way that I know a lot of my fellow music fans do. But I’m pleased to say with Everything Is Alive, I’ve been well and truly won over.

Their first album in six years, singles like kisses, skin in the game and the slab spiral into fascinating sonic territory and make you want to stay locked there forever. It was an album that completely blew me away on first listen, offering a completely immersive audio experience. One of those records where you just want to stick your headphones on and get lost in all these interesting textures being strung together.

Outside of the singles, shanty and chained to a cloud deliver mesmerising synths, big walls of guitars and the ghostly vocals of Rachel Goswell and Neil Halstead. Alife (or Alfie as I’ve been frequently calling it!) is another standout, whilst Andalucia Plays is just hauntingly melancholic. So not just one of the year’s best records, but a record that proves why I continue to trust Music Twitter’s recommendations - they never seem to steer me wrong.

Best tracks: alife, kisses, the slab

Listen here

29. This Is Why by Paramore

When immensely popular American rockers Paramore announced Bloc Party were the primary influence for their sixth studio album, This Is Why, my interest was naturally piqued. Where Silent Alarm offered a vital soundtrack for the post-9/11 youth back in the mid-00s, Paramore have now done the same for an apathetic generation of kids dealing with COVID lockdowns and ever-growing social and political divide. And whilst it isn’t quite Silent Alarm, this is unquestionably a brilliant indie rock record.

Firstly, the opening title track remains one of my favourite tracks of the last twelve months. With all the catchy, stuttering chords of prime Foals, along with some ever-impressive vocal acrobatics from enigmatic frontwoman Hayley Williams, the mid-song breakdown that ends with Williams’ cries of “I’m floating like a cannonball” is so gloriously cathartic, you can’t help but get won over. Big Man, Little Dignity is another strong favourite, which sees the trio take shots at powerful men not held to account for their deplorable actions (“smooth operator in a shit-stained suit”). Liar, arguably the album’s most subdued moment, is similarly awe-inspiring too thanks to some twinkly guitars and Williams’ graceful falsetto vocals. 

At a concise 36 minutes there’s not a second spared, as the band channel their message through the sounds from indie rock’s past, breathing fresh new life into the scene and helping it to resonate with a newer, younger mainstream audience. So, if you are sat there wondering why Paramore are one of the biggest rock bands in the world right now – This Is Why.

Best tracks: This Is Why, Liar, Big Man Little Dignity

Listen here

28. Blondshell by Blondshell

An incredible self-titled debut that has lit me up in the last year is this amazing record from LA-based rockstar-in-the-making, Sabrina Teitelbaum – AKA Blondshell. Hugely accomplished for her first outing, it’s a sharp 32-minute listen packed with big choruses and some truly epic guitar work. Here’s what 5-9 editor Andrew Belt had to say in his brilliant review earlier this year which sums it perfectly:

“The nine tracks on her debut album capture uncomplicated rock tracks which could have been recorded live. Uncomplicated does not mean not compelling, however. Fusing influences from the likes of Nirvana, The Cranberries and Anna Burch, Teitelbaum wears her heart on her sleeve as she chronicles a difficult couple of years which spawned Blondshell. The self-titled record bursts to life with ‘Veronica Mars’ – a two-minute, verse/chorus/guitar solo blast with the TV show referred to in the title causing Teitelbaum to reflect on its impact on her when watching at an early age. Singing ‘Logan’s a dick, I’m learning that’s hot’, Teitelbaum laments the mixed messaging the show could provide to young minds, with the rock track melting away at the end via a red-hot unhinged, high-pitched guitar solo. The sound throughout is cohesive with Yves Tumor-producer, Yves Rothman, teasing out something quite impressive from Teitelbaum as Blondshell. Confessional, edgy, compelling, Blondshell is an accomplished offering belying its debut album status.”

Best tracks: Salad, Sepsis, Dangerous

Read Andrew Belt’s full review on 5-9 here

Listen here

27. Dream Big by Soda Blonde

Back in 2021, Irish indie-pop outfit Soda Blonde emerged out of the ashes of the excellent Little Green Cars, with the four remaining members of that band releasing their debut album under the new Soda Blonde guise. That Soda Blonde debut, titled Small Talk, would finish in my Top 30 Albums of 2021 and even receive a nomination for the Irish Choice Prize (the Irish equivalent of the Mercury Prize). Now with this sophomore outing, they have made the Top 30 again.

Full of confidence, Soda Blonde are sounding more assured in their new skin, with Dream Big presenting a stunning collection of songs full of breathtaking musical variety and killer hooks. The opening run of Midnight Show, Bad Machine, Boys and the title track is particularly mesmerising, as the band guide you through glorious arrangements full of strings, rhythmic guitars and clusters of memorable moments. In the back half, My First Name sees frontwoman Faye O’Rourke’s majestic vocals stand out amongst a magnificent collage of strings, bluesy guitars and stomping drums for one of the record’s biggest highlights. 

This is a phenomenal record from start to finish and if you haven’t heard of Soda Blonde before, now is the time to get yourself acquainted.

Best tracks: My First Name, Boys, Going Out

Listen here

26. When Will We Land? By Barry Can’t Swim

If you’ve listened to the October episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast, you know this debut from rising electronic superstar Barry Can’t Swim was one of my standout records in what was a month full of incredible new music. Taking elements from all my favourite electronic releases of recent years, Barry crafts a vibrant collage that binds together cohesively for an essential and astonishing listening experience. Describing this album better than I ever could, here is what friend of the blog Kiley Larsen had to say in his review for Check This Out:

“When Will We Land? is everything you want from an electronic album and more. It may pull from all of Barry Can’t Swim’s influences and serve them in eleven distinct ways, but Mannie’s vision is clear and never wanders from the bigger picture. While the record should be taken in as a whole when possible, each song is so distinct and fully executed that each is tailor-made for playlists (or mixtapes, if you’re keeping them alive). ….When Will We Land? finds Barry Can’t Swim doing what he’s done best over the past few years by harnessing the energy of that big night out while colouring it with organic instrumentation and a much-needed reminder of the universality of the human experience. For music writers, the year is full of anticipated albums. Sometimes, they match the internal hype, while often, they fall short. When Will We Land? was unquestionably at the top of my list, defying expectations and more. Barry Can’t Swim proved a true talent with his EPs, but this debut album is a colossal next step. Even if you’re not typically into electronic music, this is still worth diving into, as there are few albums this year that successfully convey a complete vision with what should be universal appeal.”

Best tracks: Sunsleeper, Woman, I Won’t Let You Down

Read Kiley’s full review on Check This Out here

Listen here

25. Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd by Lana Del Rey

A woman who needs no introduction at this point, one of the most hotly anticipated releases of the year was Lana Del Rey’s eighth studio album released back in March – Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd (which we can all agree is a peak Lana type of album title).

Having delivered her undisputed magnum opus Norman Fucking Rockwell (NFR) back in 2019, Miss Lizzy Grant has not rested on her laurels since, quickly following up with two more albums in 2021 – Chemtrails Over The Country Club and Blue Banisters. Whilst both records had their moments, the former more so, neither quite came close enough to the theatre, majesty and sheer perfection of NFR. However now back with her fourth album in as many years, Lana once again hit some career best highs.

Opener The Grants welcomes the listener with some gorgeous gospel vocal harmonies, before Lana herself takes over with her inimitable vocals, exquisitely sharing memories of her family. The title track is then even better and already one of my favourite Lana tracks, with its stirring strings, anguished vocals and heartbreaking lyrics of self-loathing (“Open me up, tell me you like me, Fuck me to death, love me until I love myself”). As Lana is joined by a choir for the swelling “Don’t Forget Me” refrain in the song’s outro, you’d have to be cold hearted to not be greatly moved.

An album that is definitely in the top half of her discography, and the first half of this record in particular is as good as anything she has ever done. I also admire the work ethic and frequency at which Lana is delivering new music and I’m not going to complain too much about having a mountain of music from her over the last few years. The fact she’s been so productive and still served up some of the very best work of her career, really it can only be admired.

Best tracks: Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd, A&W, The Grants

Listen here

24. Javelin by Sufjan Stevens

Another of the year’s biggest releases came in early October - the tenth studio album from highly acclaimed singer-songwriter, Sufjan Stevens. In the days following its release, Sufjan dedicated Javelin to his “beloved partner and best friend Evans Richardson” who sadly died in April of this year. With that added context, it made an album that already felt emotionally shattering hit that much harder.

From the moment the cymbals crash and the synths reverberate around Sufjan’s cries of “You know I love you” on opener Goodbye Evergreen, you know you are in for something quite special yet also heartbreaking. Over the next run of tracks Sufjan continues to astound with his unceremonious yet majestic songcraft, as the uplifting instrumentation twinkles around Sufjan’s devastating penmanship on tracks like A Running Start, Genuflecting Ghost and Will Anybody Ever Love Me?

However as great as the first half is, it is the back stretch that left my jaw firmly on the floor. My Red Little Fox is a heartfelt, flute-laden hymnal whilst lead single So You Are Tired is a brutally beautiful, piano-led, string-drenched lament. Shit Talk is then without a doubt one of the songs of the year, a near 9-minute masterpiece centred around a strikingly simple assembly of raw acoustic instrumentation, resonant human emotions, gorgeous choral harmonies and refrains of “I will always love you…I don’t wanna fight at all.” Utterly breathtaking in every single way.

Best tracks: Shit Talk, So You Are Tired, Will Anybody Ever Love Me?

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23. Struggler by Genesis Owusu

When it comes to an album, two things I tend to look for more than any other - an eclectic mix of sounds and a strong thematic concept to hold it all together. Very few artists achieve both elements these days, but when you do find an album like that, it’s like finding the musical equivalent of the holy grail. Enter Struggler from Ghanian-Australian artist Genesis Owusu, which made history back in August by becoming the first album to gain the coveted maximum 15 points on the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast.

Struggler is an album that takes you on a journey, both through the lyrics and sonically too. At the heart of it, you’ve got a narrative arc that tells the story of “The Roach vs The Old Man”, a conflict which acts as a metaphor for humanity vs uncontrollable higher powers, both natural and political. Then musically, this record has a little bit of everything - punk rock, hip-hop, funk, soul, all wonderfully blended together to forge a vibrant mesh of sounds.

In terms of favourite tracks, Leaving The Light and The Roach are both propelled by these great synth lines that bounce off thrashes of guitars. Tied Up is then possibly one of the catchiest songs of the year, a track which sucks you into its groove and refuses to let you leave. Stuck To The Fan closes the record perfectly too, offering a really sombre, bluesy send off.

More carefully curated and refined than his debut outing, Genesis Owusu proved himself to be a very special talent to me in 2023, delivering a record that works as a collective whole but doesn’t stay in a single lane either.

Best tracks: The Roach, Tied Up, Stuck To The Fan

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22. ROACH by Miya Folick

It seems there was something with Roaches in 2023 as we had another incredible album artistically indebted to those pesky insects. This year, American singer-songwriter Miya Folick made the difficult second album look easy with this hugely impressive record, titled ROACH.

Essentially an extension of her previously released 2007 EP, ROACH further builds out the narrative with a deeper dive into her relationship with God, her mother and her own self-esteem. Featuring some of the best songs of her young career, highlights include the hedonistic indie-pop of Bad Thing, brutal break-up anthem Get Out of My House and the tussle with adulthood on the falsetto-kissed 2007.

That said, make sure you stick around for the second half of the album as that’s where Miya Folick’s exceptional songwriting really starts to shine for me. Tetherball is a real stop-you-in-your-tracks moment, with some wonderful ambient electronics backing Folick’s soft vocals to create a gorgeous sound reminiscent of Natasha Khan of Bats For Lashes. These synths then shift into the uplifting pop of So Clear, before Shortstop offers an utterly stunning piano-led finale that you’ll just want to hear again and again.

A fantastic second album that has been on repeat ever since it dropped in the first half of the year.

Best tracks: Tetherball, Shortstop, Get Out Of My House

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21. PRAYERS & PARANOIA by SIPHO

Just missing out on the Top 20 then, we arrive at an outstanding debut album that I may have missed altogether if it wasn’t for friend of the blog, Andrew Belt. The 5-9 Album of the Month podcast has been my musical highlight of 2023, introducing me to a ton of great new music this year. So I just want to take a moment to give kudos to both Andrew and Kiley for steering me in the right direction over the last 12 months with their fantastic taste in music – cheers lads!

Now Birmingham-based R&B star SIPHO was Andrew’s pick for the podcast back in October and it turned out to be a mightily ambitious first outing that stormed to victory in our most tightly contested Album of the Month battle yet.

With each track anchored by his incredibly powerful vocals, SIPHO remains the star of the show amdist a gorgeous sonic world built on funk, soul, R&B and even a bit of rock on tracks like GLUE. Much like the Genesis record, it is an album that takes an eclectic listening experience and majestically morphs it into a cohesive single piece of work. Listening front-to-back, every song segues seamlessly into the next one, with the track list so intricately stitched together its quite astounding. For SIPHO to craft a record as accomplished as this at the first time of asking is even more remarkable.

The songs have a timelessness quality too, Elevation pulls you in straight away whilst Chemicals boasts spacey synths, bluesy guitars and SIPHO’s incredible falsetto. However it’s all about the final stretch of songs starting with Run For Your Life, which sees just SIPHO and Shae Universe’s voices take centre stage over a minimal piano backing for a track that is just hauntingly beautiful and goosebump-inducing.

An album that I went in to with no real expectations, there was few records that managed to blow me away in 2023 quite like Prayers & Paranoia.

Best tracks: Run For Your Life, Glue, Prayers

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This weekend, we enter the final Top 20 of the countdown!