#but our member who had this dumped on her had only herself

[20dollarlolita]

brb watching the people in charge of my local egl community continue to ask for more than two weeks to handle the loss of a loved one before they can go up to someone and say "we banned you for x", after forcing a 19-year-old to deal with these people creating the situation and specifically targeting her, less than an hour after said community member came down from a health episode that almost ended her life.

When someone demands a concession from you that they did not grant you, take note.

[sexy-monster-fucker]

Lover’s Quarrel

Lee Russell x Reader

Summary: Reader is the third Vice Principal of North Jackson High. She often finds herself fighting with Lee Russell. Tension builds until it finally breaks.

CW: cussing because duh it’s Lee Russell, p in v, creampie, biting(?), Lee being a panty thief,

~~~

You sat alongside your two coworkers watching some of the kids practice for the pep rally. Neal Gamby and Lee Russell, your fellow Vice Principals. Only a few weeks back they had dragged you along for some harebrained scheme to get the new Principal, Dr. Belinda Brown, fired. Breaking into her home, resulting in Russell loosing it and burning her entire house down. You were in the thick of it with them now, no turning back.

Gamby and Lee argued back and forth about what the next plan was to ensure Belinda Brown was no more. You were halfway zoned out not much caring for their petty bickering.

“I can’t help both of you pussed out on me and ran,” Lee scoffed at Gamby. “You can’t be serious right now, what did you want us to go up in flames with the house?” Gamby rolled his eyes.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Lee began talking through his teeth, “I’m talking about how we were gonna highjack her car too, Gamby! Could’ve burnt that shit down right in the school parking lot!”

“I think burning her new house down was far enough, Lee,” you finally chimed in.

“Yeah, dumbass. Don’t you think we would’ve been caught then?!” Gamby leaned in.

“She has kids, Lee. We’ve already made them homeless,” you sat up straight rolling your shoulders.

“You two are no fun!” Lee rolled his eyes, “Too invested in her personal life and shit. I don’t give a fuck about her! Neither should you, little miss sensitive.”

“That’s rich coming from someone with a detailed binder on every single faculty member in this building,” you stood up.

“Yeah!” Gamby pointed a finger in his face, “You’re the one who’s invested!”

“Shut the fuck up, Gamby,” Lee scrunched his face up at him. Lee’s eyes followed you as you walked down the bleachers.

“Where the fuck are you goin’, prissy pants?” Lee stood up behind you.

“Anywhere where I don’t have to hear your dumbass complain,” you turned around and threw your arms up.

“You always are the first one to back out on anything! Can’t even commit to a conversation with us,” Lee crossed his arms.

“Ooo a lovers quarrel,” Gamby teased.

“Shut Up, Gamby!” You both spoke together.

Lee began walking down the bleachers towards you. This just pissed you off worse.

It had almost always been like this with you and Lee. Small bickerings that were normally wrapped up with some flirting. All your coworkers constantly teased you both about fighting like an old married couple. Lee was different when you were alone. Staying late to help you with some paperwork that you could’ve done yourself, deeply complimenting you, always making an excuse to invite you into his office or himself into yours, lingering touches between you. Things had changed since Dr. Brown joined the faculty. Lee was sassier than ever. No longer willing to be any form of helpful, just hanging around throwing off-hand insults towards anyone and everyone. It had been growing old. You were sick of constant negativity pouring from him.

You headed down the stairs of the bleachers walking as fast as you could away from him.

“What’s the matter with you?” Lee rushed behind you, his hard steps echoing on the metal stairs. You ignored him, continuing forward. “I thought this was like our thing! Just some back and forth, what’s the big deal?” Lee scoffed.

“I’m not in the mood for this today, Lee,” you rolled your eyes refusing to look back at him. He was hot on your heals.

“What are you on your period or something?” Lee joked.

That was it. That sent you over the edge.

"Oh, sweet God, Lee! You're being a fucking asshole!" You stormed off into the nearby woods. The area in which old school supplies got dumped, also where Lee often took his smoke break.

"Me the asshole? You're the one actin' like a royal bitch right now!" Lee followed closely behind you.

That struck a nerve.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Lee stood before you, hands on his hips, mouth hanging awkwardly open and eyes wide. He stammered slightly shaking his head.

"Nothing," he threw his hands up doing a circle step.

"No- Go ahead, Russell. Since you want to be so brave, tell me what you said!"

"You're the one that called me an asshole," he mumbled.

"Because you are an asshole! That's all you've ever been and all you'll ever be! A self obsessed, egotistical asshole!" You grunted as you spun around, leaning your arm against a tree.

"Oh, now look whose name callin'!" Lee stomped.

"You act all sweet and friendly to the staff, then do everything in your power to stab them in the back. Laughing and jokin' at the lunch table, pretending to be one of them. Well you aren't! You're a fucking psychopath who loves to pull everyone down with him! You're a sicko with a power trip, Russell!"

Lee scoffed at you, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"FUCK YOU, LEE RUSSELL!" You got into his face pointing at him.

Lee cocked his head to the side. His hands found both sides of your face, crashing his lips into yours. You were stunned and extremely aroused. You sunk into the kiss full force, your body melting into Lee's grasp.

"You've got a dirty mouth on you, Ms. L/N," Lee flashed a toothy grin at you.

"You have no idea," you chuckled to yourself.

"Fuck, me. I like the sound of that," he pressed his lips back into yours, backing you into the tree you had leaned on prior. You exchanged spit as your tongues tussled, sloppy kissing being shared. Lee's lips found their way to your neck, biting and sucking at it. "Don't be fucking greedy," you breathed out.

"I'll do whatever I want," he kissed your skin, biting down a little harder than before. A small moan escaped you feeling his teeth dance along your skin. You wanted him badly.

Lee pulled you away from the tree, escorting you over to the mattress on the ground. A little gross, but you could not care right now. "Let's hurry things along a little, I've got an evaluation in an hour," Lee helped you onto the mattress, crawling on top of you. A prominent tent pitched in his tight khakis. "You really know how to make a girl feel special, dontcha Russell?"

"Oh, shut up," Lee kissed your lips. He ran a hand down your body, sliding under your skirt, finding your clothed core. His fingers began making circles against your sensitive nub. Your hips jolted forward at the sudden friction. Your eyes shot up to him. "Did you think I was gonna be the only one getting off here?" Lee looked at you with a cocky grin. You ran both hands up his body, tugging him down by his tie.

"Fuck me, Lee," you fluttered your eyes at him.

"Don't have to ask me twice, sweetheart," Lee began pulling himself from his pants. You shimmied your panties down your legs, cool air hit your soaking core. Lee's eyes stared up your skirt, mouth hanging open admiring your sex. Your eyes finally caught his fully erect cock, his hand grasped around it stroking himself. Your face flushed. Lee got in position, lining himself up with your opening. He eased himself in, the tip stretching you first. Lee’s eyes stared down at yours, lust written all over his face.

He continued easing his way inside you, giving you time to adjust to him. He found himself fully inside you, both of you breathing loud and heavy. He stayed for a moment not ready to begin moving. He gently pulled himself back before aggressively thrusting back into you. A moan fell from you.

"Ah, fuck. Has a pussy this good seriously being hidin' from me this whole time?" Lee threw his head back as he continued thrusting into you. His cocked stretched you just right.

"Should've bent you over my desk by now. Fucked you in the teacher's lounge. Hell, I'll fuck you on my future Principal's desk," Lee grinned ear to ear.

"You mean my future desk," you scowled at him.

"Whatever gets you to let me keep fucking you," Lee leaned his head against you. He squinted his eyes savoring the feeling of you around him. He had not been fucked in a longtime, let alone by someone as good as you.

Lee's hips rocked into you consistently quick, your head rested back on the mattress. He felt extremely good inside you, even if that mouth of his was not doing him any favors. He leaned down placing a wet kiss on your lips, his hand creeping down your body and finding your sensitivity again. His name was a soft moan on your lips. You felt your orgasm inching through your body his fingers working absolute magic on you. You were breathless.

“I wanna cum in you, okay?” Lee whispered in your ear. You nodded aggressively. You knew you would unwind any minute now. Lee’s hips grew sloppy and unrhythmic as he began chasing his high. Praises flowed from him as he threw his head back, his fingers finally sending you over the edge. Your walls fluttered around him, a loud moan escaping you. Lee’s body fell flush with yours, his hips snapping into you. “Fuck, Y/N, you have the perfect pussy,” he moaned in your ear. Ropes of him shot inside you, his hips sputtering trying to get as deep inside you as possible. His lips pressed into yours hard. One of his hands cupped your cheek, Lee admired you, being tender with you for only a moment.

“Goddamn, Y/N! That was— Fuck, great,” Lee chuckled awkwardly trying to catch his breath. You ran your hand through Lee’s hair, his eyes softening for a moment. Lee pulled out of you hesitantly. Deep down he wished you could stay like this forever. He would never admit it publicly, but he really liked you. You both sighed. He rolled over to be on the mattress beside you.

You sat up, searching for your panties that had been discarded earlier. “Where’d my underwear go?”

Lee laughed. He patted his chest, “Don’t you worry about those, I’m sure you have plenty more at home.” Your whole body flushed with heat when you realized what he was saying.

“You’re seriously going to make me walk around the rest of the day with no underwear?” You half smiled at him.

“Goddamn right I am. Make sure every time you sit down you remember what happened out here,” Lee laughed, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You took it, he pulled you to your feet. Your chest was flush against his, you looked up at him. You pressed a kiss to his lips quickly. You saw a slight pink hue rise on his cheeks. Lee’s hands were on your hips, heavy brown eyes staring into yours. A faint smile painted his face.

The bell rang in the distance.

Lee’s eyes shot up to the school behind you. “Uh— Guess we outta get back to work,” he placed a tiny peck on your cheek. You smiled as he walked ahead of you, one of his hands reaching behind him for yours. You intertwined fingers with him, getting a satisfied look over his shoulder. He led you out of the trees, the field that was previously full of loud cheering students was now empty. No one was outside. At least, that’s what you thought. Lee spun around, planting another kiss on your lips. A goofy grin painting his face.

“RUSSELL!”

You both jumped slightly hearing Neal Gamby’s voice echoing through the air.

“Jesus Christ,” Lee sighed as he turned around to face him.

“What the fuck were you guys doing out there? You know we have to monitor the halls during class changes! Plus you guys forced me to have ‘small talk’ with Bitch Brown!” Gamby folded his arms over his chest.

“No need to get your nutsack twisted, Gamby. We just needed to plan out our next attack,” Lee flicked him in the shoulder walking past him to the school.

“I’m supposed to be involved in all conversations about this!” Gamby protested.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, following closely behind Lee. Turning to make a face at Gamby as you headed inside.

“You guys suck,” Gamby mumbled as he hustled to catch up with you.

You and Lee walked side by side inside the building, occasionally bumping into each other. Exchanging small smiles back and forth. Continuously grazing hands, longing to interlock fingers again.

Save that for another time.

~~~

[END]

~ Thank you for reading! This is my first time writing for Lee Russell so I hope you enjoyed it! I am currently on Episode 6(?) of Vice Principals and am absolutely obsessed. I will be more than happy to write more for Lee Russell if anyone has requests! If you want to be tagged in my future work let me know! ~

[TAGS]

@megangovier ~ @lacey-mercylercy ~ @dichromaniac ~ @toogaytofunctiondangit ~ @justme12200 ~ @aliisa-jones ~ @one-of-thewalkingdead ~ @madladysix ~

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 6

Part 5

I know it's been quite the build up to meet all the players but trust me it's coming :) A short chapter ahead, sorry!

Once you had bid goodbye to Jonas, Jennifer wasted no time in dragging you pitch side. It was there that you experienced just how much went into announcing new signings as you met the rest of Jennifer and David's team and crew members. They took long videos of you walking pitch side and sitting among the thousands of seats in the stadium, you couldn't wait to hear them roar to life on match days.

'Here' Jennifer approach where you were seated with a box in hand. 'New pair of boots for the day, wanna give them a try?'

'Hell yes' you said excitedly ripping open the box to find a pair of pink Nike phantoms laying in wait. You grinned and held them up to the camera examining with glee the way your initials and number were engraved into the side. 'Fucking fantastic aren't they?'

'Language!' Jennifer exclaimed 'We'll have to mute that Y/n'

You glanced at her sheepishly before pulling the boots snuggly over your feet.

'Perfect fit.' You weren't ashamed to admit that you went through football boots like a Foxes through chicken. They never usually lasted longer than a few months before they were falling apart of the seams, maybe it was the rough tackles or the way you liked to knee slide but you weren't all that sure. It was a shame considering how much you loved your new pair.

As you got up from your seat and made your way back down to the grass an Irish voice abruptly stopped you in your tracks.

'There's me new protege'

You turn to see Katie McCabe sauntering out the tunnel. The Irish Captain was also decked out in an Arsenal kit and she dragged a ball bag behind her.

'Katie' She introduced herself, dumping the balls at your feet.

You decided instantly that you liked the girl. You'd be lying if you said you didn't admire her style of play, it was incredibly similar to your own right down to the risky tackles and red cards. From what you'd seen in videos online, you were also pretty sure she'd appreciate your humour.

'I know who you are' You began ' Katie Robinson, right?'

A look of shock crossed Katie's features for a moment before she cackled loudly. 'Got a mouth on ya, don't ya?'

You shrugged. 'That's what they all say'

Jennifer inserted herself into the conversation. 'Okay, now we can get started'

'Started?' You frowned

'On the video."

You shook your head. 'Then what've we been filming for the last half hour?'

Jennifer shared an amused glance with Katie. 'Just some little snippets and shorts for social media, some of it might make the cut for our main video but it's going to be something a little different and i think the fans will really love it' She beckoned you and Katie to follow her over to the nearest goal where the crew had began to set up large cameras.

'That's why i'm here kid, the fans love me' Katie joked to which you sniggered.

Ignoring the Irish defender, Jennifer continued. 'The whole concept is based around reputations, people hear Katie's name and they think passionate, fearsome, daring, dangerous and your name carries that weight too. So we're gonna play onto that, teams aren't just going to have to deal with one McCabe now, but two.'

You liked that idea. You thought it made you sound tough, like you were built to handle anything.

'We're gonna be bringing the danger kid, me and you'

You smirked 'I think your face alone is scary enough'

Katie shook her head. 'I'm going to have to keep an eye on you aren't I?'

'As long as it's not when i'm in the shower' You countered

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at you as Katie just laughed. 'Stop saying things like that Y/n'

You held your hands up in surrender, you were surprised at how easily you'd managed to fit in already. It was a calming feeling, it made you more at peace with your new life in England despite only arriving a day earlier.

'Kyra's taken a liking to ya' Katie said suddenly as Jennifer wondered away with David to deal with a lighting issue. 'Came through the door at 7 this morning covered in mud but grinning like a mad man'

'Yeah, Emily wasn't too pleased with me about that'

Katie shrugged. 'That's valid, at least Kyra left me a note...even if i couldn't exactly decipher her hand writing.'

'Well I'll know for next time.'

'Next time?' Katie rolled her eyes 'Fantastic'

You honestly couldn't wait to see Kyra again. 'It's good to know someone my own age over here, most of my friends are back in the States'

'Any boyfriend...or girlfriend?' Katie teased

'Not anymore' You answer cryptically but before Katie can respond Jennifer is rushing the two of you into position in front of the camera.

'ACTION'

[vodkacheesefries]

Thought it would be fun to do an intro post for each of the three households I'll be rotating through in my historic sims file. Also told my buddy @schitzophrenicrainbows I would make one of these. It'll also help me keep things organized as I play the challenge since I'm committing details to writing.

Up first and beneath the cut, we have a little history dump and our Gladiators.

Gladiators initially started out as poorer people and slaves who were inscribed to fight and train in the gladiator schools, Ludus Magnus. Over time as people began to see the fame and honor that could be won in the arena, though it was more rare, people did start to voluntarily join these gladiator schools.

Due to the popularity of gladiator fights, and how pricey it got to train and house them, not every single gladiator fight was to the death for its contestants. (For the purpose of Finn's story/challenge rules, his fights will be.)

There's debate whether the infamous "thumbs down" actually meant the opponent HAD to die or not. It could have just meant they were disgraced and couldn't compete anymore, but I can't find definitive answers one way or the other, and the opinions I found on this often contradicted each other. (I could probably text my sister with three degrees all about ancient to medieval Italian/Roman history, but how do I explain to her I need to know for my Sims game lmaooo) All that said, gladiators often didn't live past their mid-twenties given the hazards of the job.

Gladiators were also sex symbols (do yourself a favor and look up ancient Roman graffiti. Humans are the same now as they were then lmao). Idk how much that'll play into my game but Finn does have to find a partner and have kids so the legacy continues but we'll get there when we get there.

Rana

Rana is the gladiator who has been at the Ludus Magna the longest. Her traits: Creative, Self Assured, Loyal.

She came from a wealthy merchant family, but the family business didn't interest her much. She left home when she was young to find herself and ended up finding the arena. She picked up sword fighting quickly and proved her aptitude for not only fighting, but teaching others to fight as well. These days she only competes occasionally, as she has proven herself invaluable in creating more gladiators.

She's hitting a point where the losses of her pupils, and more importantly friends, are starting to weigh on her. She likely isn't going to just be allowed to retire, though, so she has to figure something else out.

Apollo

Apollo named himself after a Greek God because he thinks he's hilarious. (This is debatable if you ask anyone who has spoken with him for more than five minutes.) He ended up at the Ludus Magnus due to his sense of humor; turns out a Senator doesn't like it when you make jokes about their philosophical ideas, even if they are stupid.

He doesn't enjoy the gladiator lifestyle much if he's being honest, and is counting down the days until his "voluntary" contract with the school is over so he can use what money he's won and travel the world like he's always wanted to. His self absorption is part him being young, and part it being a front for the fear he has of not living out his dreams and he wears it like a protective front. His friends know better, though.

(He also thinks Spartacus is cute, but he's certain Spartacus is going to stay a gladiator till he dies and that doesn't work with what he wants in the long run.)

His traits are: Loves the Outdoors, Self Absorbed, and Outgoing.

Spartacus

Disclaimer: I did not make Spartacus lmao. I was hitting create-a-sim burnout so I hit up the gallery to find someone else's Roman themed sim. Although I did make some minor changes to his wardrobe, added scars and swapped out a couple of his traits, which are: Athletic, Proper, Loner. I ended up keeping his name because while it's on the nose for a gladiator, it fits.

Spartacus is a former member of the Roman Legionnaires. He was released from his service due to an injury he sustained abroad. Once he had healed, he found civilian life to be difficult to adjust to, so he signed a contract with the Ludus Magnus. He's here for a good time, not a long time.

But lately, he's been spending more time with Apollo, and he's starting to change his mind. But surely someone as handsome as Apollo wouldn't be interested in someone who'd rather spend his time meditating than socializing at a party...

Finn

Finn's traits are: Athletic, Loyal, Ambitious

Finn knew the risks he was taking when he killed Antonius, but he doesn't regret it. He's now plotting his escape, and if his new found friends can survive, he'll bring them with him if they like. He really just wants to get back to Britain to what's left of his family and help them take back what is rightfully theirs and drive the Romans out.

By challenge rules, he has 10 fights to get through first. I also have to receive a silver medal or higher on at least 50 events, and I'll probably use his fights to accomplish at least 10 of those. (I've done six so far).

Will probably go over Laelius' household next along with the parts of the challenge they'll be completing, followed by his daughter's. Who I don't think I've posted so far.

Other households:

The Emperor's Family

The Frugi Household

[bridgertonbabe]

In the Royal AU how was Sophie first state banquet as a part of the Royal family ?

From the second she was informed she'd be in attendance of the forthcoming state banquet, Sophie had been determined to be as prepared and polished as possible for the occasion.

For example, she had asked Mrs Crabtree to arrange for a revision lesson with the etiquette specialist so she would confidently know how to hold herself and know the difference between all of the specific cutlery in use for the state event. She also busied herself away with Duolingo in order to converse with members of the visiting foreign delegation, even if it was only on a beginner's level of translation and communication.

Benedict hadn't even picked up on Sophie's sudden interest to learn Dutch for any particular reason until he came across her making flashcards with photos and information of guests ahead of the state dinner.

"Darling, you're not seriously making revision cards about every last guest attending the dinner are you?"

"Well I don't want to be stood around like a lemon with no idea who anyone in the room is, now do I?"

"Soph, you don't seriously think we'd just let you go into the banquet completely blindfolded, right?" he fondly sighed and slipped into the chair beside her at the table. "We've literally got designated members of staff to whisper into our ears the names of every single person we're about to meet and a little fun fact about them to fulfill a moment of smalltalk with. You don't have to go to any of these lengths, I assure you." he gestured to the laptop, cards, and marker pens scattered about them.

"It's easy for you, Ben. You can charm the pants off anyone you meet with a single smile." she sighed while diligently carrying on her with task.

"And it's just as easy for you!" he argued with an adoring smile on his face. "Darling, everyone who meets you falls in love with you in an instant."

"Everyone who meets me will have probably read my own stepmother slandering me in the press." Sophie huffed.

"And nobody in their right mind would believe a word that comes out of that witch's mouth." Benedict firmly assured her and wrapped an arm around his wife. "Nobody attending this banquet is going to buy into anything that cow is trying to sell."

"You don't know that." Sophie shook her head.

"Hey; don't let her get to you like this." Benedict told her. "You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, Sophie, least of all her and anyone dumb enough to believe the venom she spews."

"It's not just that. As your wife I have to represent your family and be worthy of the privilege that comes with this position. I've got to put the work in."

"My love; you already are worthy. You've never had to prove that." he insisted and clasped her hand in his. "And you've already done way more work than I ever have for any banquet. We're in this together, okay? You never have to worry because I'm always going to be right by your side."

Sophie sighed reluctantly, dumping the pen in her hand on the desk and turning to her husband. "I know you are. I just want to be capable of attending a royal event without you having to hold my hand like I'm helpless."

"Well maybe I want to stand by your side and hold your hand because I'm the one who's helpless, you ever think about that?" he smirked and pecked her on the cheek.

"Well, now you mention it," she replied, teasingly twitching her lips.

"Hey! You weren't supposed to agree!" he laughed with her but kissed her all the same. "And look, try not to stress too much about the banquet, or even worry about what to talk with the guests about."

"Ben, I can't just wing it like you." she rolled her eyes. "I mean, what would they even have to talk to me about?"

Benedict stared and narrowed his eyes at her pointedly. "Gee, I wonder. It's not like you had a wedding five months ago or a recent pregnancy announcement for them to congratulate you on." he said sarcastically.

"Okay, you've made your point." Sophie swatted him affectionately before stroking her bump. "I just wouldn't want to be so self-important to receive congratulations from strangers without trying to make an effort to talk to them about themselves in return."

"Just try not to view it so formally, sweetheart. Just chat with them as you would anyone else you're meeting for the first time."

And as fretful as she had been in the lead up to it, the banquet ended up not being as stressful as Sophie thought it would have been. Benedict faithfully stuck to her side the entire evening and during the brief moments he wasn't, she always had Violet, Kate, or Daphne making sure she wasn't faring her first royal banquet alone.

"See, what did I tell you?" Benedict smiled, intertwining their hands in the backseat as they were driven home. "You were wonderful without trying. You didn't need those flashcards at all."

"Mhm, you're right. I might not have needed them in the end - but you certainly put them to good use." she smirked knowingly at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." he coyly replied.

"Oh really? So you just so happened to know that the ambassador is a Zumba enthusiast?"

"What can I say, I'm just a very perceptive person." he shrugged.

"Do you even know what Zumba is?"

"Yes." Benedict scoffed.

"Well what is it then?"

"... It's something the Dutch ambassador is an enthusiast of."

"Ben!" she snorted and shook her head.

"Hey, come on! At least your efforts weren't all in vain! Thanks to your cards I charmed the pants off of even more people than I normally do."

[sueetlies]

⌜ ning yizhou, cisfemale, she/her, ⌟  welcome back to hogwarts, SUE LI ! according to your file, you’re a TWENTY-FOUR year old HALF BLOOD as i’m sure you remember, last spring had its challenges, but i’m confident you’ll take your studies more seriously this year. as a SIXTH year SLYTHERIN, focusing on SPELLCASTING, you’ve got a lot on your plate. our records show that you're CONFIDENT and ALLURING however, they seem to have left off that you're VENDICTIVE and MULISH. if i’m correct, you’re siding with THE DARK , which makes sense considering you’re known around the castle for the scent of burning rose petals in a sweet oak fire, red lipstick writing on the bathroom mirror, the feeling of ruby nails gently grazing your back as you inhale seductive perfume. let’s hope you make it through the year in one piece.

statistics // tag dump // pinterest

henlo everyone kip here, this is 2/2 of my lovely muses. ms. sue li is a hot bitch and honestly is only siding with the dark because she thinks they'll win atm. above has her profile/stats and her pinterest linked and below is some little information's about her!

born in glasglow, lankshire, scottland, only adoptive child of su feng li and dahyun kim

the way she acts for sure comes from the upbringing of extremely high standards especially since only one of her parents was a wizard.

they gunned for her to get into hogwarts as one of her mothers was an alumni as originally she wanted to go to another wizarding school, but there was no fighting the li legacy heir's fate.

she decided to make the experience her own (see: started stepping on necks and scheming her way to the top of the social ladder and heirarchy after her slytherin sorting)

pretends to be sickly sweet, those who know her well knows absolutely not

walking bombshell and knows it

secretly an art whore but will not join the art club bc her image wont allow her too. she often attends their exhibits and hangs out in the back not to be scene.

is an artist herself, specializes in sculpting and hyper realistic sketching

spellcasting major simply because of the power that comes with mastering multiple spells

borderline ravenclaw sorted, but the universe saved us all from that travesty

easy to make friends, hard to keep them

dad often donates to hogwarts as almost a little thumbs up for her to continue her studies

will not breathe a word to anyone about being a gamer girly^tm

often uses her position at the paper as leverage for favors and such.

charms club president

potions club member

likes boys and girls because why limit yourself to one aka whore.

really needs to be fucking tamed and put in her place...and yes she'll like it.

all in all she's a closet art and gamer nerd who has an insidious need to be the hottest bitch in charge. its engrained in her to be number one and if she can't do that solely in academics she'll do it in the social hierarchy though her grades rival some of the ravenclaw members. will literally die for you if she manages to care about you if not...goodluck charlie.

[pinkrobinontheloose]

So

Here's the thing. (This probably is going to be a disaster and some trauma dumping on my behalf, and with some grammatical and spelling errors 'cause English is not my first language, so be aware)(Side note: I'm from Venezuela, which will play a huge part in everything I'm about to say)

It's hard living with your parents when you're the youngest and the only one who got a college degree, out of all your siblings. And is autistic/depressed/chronically ill.

It's rough.

Recently, while I was seeing a Tik Tok about the Batman and I realized why I vibe with Tim so hard, more than any other. 'Cause I'm the same way. They were talking about the roles that children take in abusive/neglectful/dysfuctional households.

They talked about 4 roles:

- The hero (Dick): A child who takes on the role of the parents.

- The rebel (Jason): They like to go against the rules and forms of authority, as well as dynamics wich include some form of power dynamics. Also, they could, in some way or minimal form, be part of the problem.

- The lost child (Tim): The quiet, discreet one. Who's needs often are overlooked and hided.

- The mascot/brains (Damian): It uses the comedy and laughter as a way to distract the attention from the dysfunctionality of the family. As well, the brain ones, are the ones who takes any minimal chance they get to use the mistake of one member against them.

And they talked about in how this roles played a huge part in the development of this child's and their adulthood.

As soon as I ended that video I cried super hard, because I saw myself in Tim.

It feels selfish and narcissistic to say it, but I was the lost child.

My sister was the hero, my brother the goofon and I was the lost child (wich is such a dramatic title).

Our house was a weird combination of the 3. My parents were there in our childhoods, but they never where really there. Our family dinamic could range from being super happy to be supper tense and scary in just one second. My father is the center of it all. You didn't want to piss him off. He rarely is abusive physically, but God, did he have other ways to hurt you. My mother is mostly, distant, she will scream and insult him and pass it as taking care of us, but at the same time, she only did it for herself. She will tell you to just succumb for anything my father says, if that means she can keep her peace of mind.

My sister will always try to protect us and care, she was the one who tried to advocate and fighted our parents. She is this strong, protective, quick witted woman who has so much emotional damage that limits her capacity to love and feel secure with people, especially man. She is our Dick.

My brother on the other hand is an asshole. A jerk who is neglectful with his children in his own way. A big jerk to woman's. I... He did things to me which I never talk about and no one knows about, except me and him. He always tried to pass everything as a joke and made seem that everything was fine. My dad and him always had an explosive relationship, they will have screaming matches, physical figths, neglect, shaming, hatred, everything that they could do the other. But was my mother's favorite. And he became Jason of our family. Everything he does, is forgived and passed as a mistake or misjudgment.

Then there was me. The weirs, sickly child who's siblings hated for being the reason their parents no longer cared for each other and played by the rules this parents established, the one who never quite understood why people treated as if was an stupid with high grades. The one who had to take the downfall of every single one mistake the other two did. The one who had to be the fucking parent for her own parents. I'm Tim.

So, imagine my surprise when I saw that, and only I could think of all the ways I failed my "family" to be "more family like" instead of thinking about all the things they let me down for.

I just....

I remember the only therapist I saw in my life told me once "you can't always expect to make them happy, as well, you can't expect them to make you happy or being happy in your behalf. Cause to them, you are breaking the mold and expectations they set up, even the ones who wish you good, set up expectations. They conditioned you, and you conditioned your surroundings to believe that, if you make a mistake, you're not worthy of love. You are the problem"

So yeah.

I'm Tim.

I'm the problem.

[yanderelmk]

So genuinely I think it's because LMK is a kid's show and that pedophiles flock to mediums of children shows. It's easier for them to find groups that find their behavior and tastes acceptable. The second I clicked together everything I went "YEET" OBLGATORY PSA DO NOT WITCH-HUNT/HARRASS, BE THE BIGGER PERSON Silver here would claim to "forget" character ages despite multiple in-server discussions about y'know why simping for underage characters is a bad thing.

Let me point this out: Silver also has a platform on the yanderelmk-x-reader blog. She actively has a platform where she can interact with children who frequent this kind of content! That's what has me the most disturbed. They can interact with minors who could fall prey to them and their ideology that an 18-year-old and a 12-year-old is acceptable. Oh and to a lesser red flag that can be found on Tumblr a lot of people on my Discord server, upon reviewing everything, pointed out that the blog said it was "inspired" off of mine while directly ripping off the matchmaking idea that I had. Matchmaking is not owned by me and neither is using it for LMK characters, however it comes under suspicion more so when a lot of what the account does is reblog my content. In and of itself not a bad thing, but when it piles off of things they've done in the Discord server it doesn't look good.

Silver also, as another smaller thing they did compared to the pedophilia which was super creepy, wrote a vent post and publicly published it on Quotev wherein Nezha crawled into reality to comfort her because people on the Discord server weren't constantly talking to her. TW: Written Rape, Heavily Abusive Yandere Themes, Written Suicide Attempt, Written Self-Harm, Partner Abuse, Trauma Dumping, Forced Pregnancy

Something else that was a gigantic red flag was that Silver wrote fics of her persona being kidnapped and raped by Nezha, having Stockholm Syndrome, and even being forced to birth ten of his children. What's even more disgusting is that she posted this and didn't black any of it out.

They also, upon not receiving attention, began writing fics in which their persona was bullied to the point of trying to kill herself by other server member's personas (without obviously our consent or knowledge) only to be saved by Nezha. Pretty two-faced since they'd try to play buddy-buddy otherwise with server members, and this was obviously a vent about people not paying constant attention to her (she'd post over people talking and try to yank attention away from people talking then pouted when it didn't work).

They wrote so much angst people in the server were breaking down from the sheer amount of heavily angst they would write. When told to stop and that people were upset, they only said that they'd never stop. They actively joked about how often they posted angst despite server members expressing extreme discomfort and upset at the amount of angst she posted.

Any criticism was met with pouting and Silver refusing to accept it.

That's not mentioning how she added her IRL abusive boyfriend into persona writing and only reveal it was an IRL ex to massively trauma dump unprovoked about it. Which is screwed up. That and they trauma dumped a LOT in general out of the blue. All of this was a gigantic, huge, massive red flag that ended in a well-deserved ban.

[darkyuffie-blog]

Stay Away From Her Boys

Summary:

Ex cheerleader turned Hellfire club member Lidia Jones goes to the woods for her weekly smoke sesh with the guys of Corroded Coffin when her plans are foiled by Jason, Tommy, Andy, and Chance attacking the guys.

School finally let out for the day and god it was a long one. Lidia jumped up from her desk shoving her calculus book off into her back pack and quickly took off out of the class room. She stopped by her locker slinging her books inside and slamming it. Turning around only to the cruel laughter of her ex cheer mates as Tina shoved her back into the lockers and grinned like she'd won the lottery. Lidia rolled her eyes flipping her off with her painted black nails, Eddie had painted them for her saying she looked better in black than she did in that pink shit. She waited on them to get away from her before she headed off out the school doors she passed an apologetic looking Chrissy as she walked out. Chrissy was the only one from cheer who didn't bully her when she dumped the cheer team in favor of Hellfire. Chrissy understood. At least the guys of Hellfire and Corroded Coffin actually cared about her. The only one on the cheer team that ever cared was Chrissy. The rest were only interested in gossiping, trading basketball player boyfriends, and body shaming everyone to make themselves feel better and Lidia got sick of it.

She hummed to herself as she walked through the woods excited to be meeting up with her boys for a much needed smoke session. As she came close to the clearing she heard Gare yelling at someone who she quickly found out was Carver. "Fuck off Carver! The shit is wrong with you guys huh? You fucking gay for us or some shit?" Gare yelled out and then a crack of a fist sent Lidia running forward discarding her backpack as she went. Once in the clearing she was greeted with her Corroded Coffin boys in a fight with four of the basket ball guys. Andy, Jason, Chance, and Tommy. She was seething seeing Gare's lip bleeding, Eddie with a bloodied left brow, and Jeff with a slightly bloody left nostril. Grant seemed to be faring decently against Andy for the time. Once Jason got Gare onto the ground she was done watching. She ran forward launching herself off of the picnic table seat and slammed her combat boot straight into Jason's ribs the force from her launch off the table causing him to slam over onto the ground by Gare. Gare took the opportunity to jump up and slam his fist into Jason's jaw bloodying his lip.

Grant soon had Andy on the ground. Eddie and Tommy were throwing punches back and forth, Jeff sent Chance running finally after cracking a heavy left hook into his ribs knocking the air from him. Jason tried to pull himself off the ground but Gare yanked him back down throwing one more blow to his stomach before Andy and Tommy ran over pulling Jason up and away from Gare and they finally ran off. "This isn't the end of this shit! Next time your little slut won't be around to help!" Jason called back to them with an angry glare over his shoulder.

Once breaths were caught by the five of them they all burst out into giggles before Eddie spoke up. "Shit Lids did you SEE the look on Carver's face when you fucked booted his ass? PRICELESS sweetheart!" Gare laughed and grinned at her. "The launch was crazy. The way you just so gracefully threw yourself through the air and landed that hit on him fuck that was equal to a nat 20 roll babe you even stuck the landing!" "Well 6 years of cheer and gymnastics tend to make one rather athletic." She giggled as she got sandwiched between Gareth and Eddie with Jeff and Grant falling in behind them turning it into a large group bear hug with Lidia in the center giggling wildly. "So uhhh about that smoke sesh? Think we could all use it now right?" Lidia called out to the boys sandwiched around her.

"Now we are talkin. Damn Eds you did us good getting this one on our side. She kicks ass, smokes grass, AND does a badass job as a barbarian in DnD as well." Grant complimented with a shy Jeff nodding in agreement with a grin behind them. The hug dispersed and they all sat on the picnic table. Gare and Eds on one side, Jeff and Grant on the other side, and Lidia cross legged on top of the table. Eddie started rolling a joint for the bloodied party as Lidia took care of all the bloody wounds with her first aid kit. She kept one on her since she joined hellfire, since the boys often got into tussles with the basketball players. Once they were all patched up to her satisfaction Eddie lit up. It was passed around until dead and then another lit up and passed around until it was finished off as well Lidia taking the last puff and smooshing it out on the bottom of her combat boot.

"See now we are all floaty and calmed down. Seriously though fuck those guys they piss me off something awful. So happy I never fucked any of them, seriously I dunno how the cheer squad puts up with the egos and shrimp dicks!" She said waving her arms in front of herself. The guys laughed at her and Gare smiled up at her with admiration. Him and Eddie both had quite the thing for her but both were far to chicken shit to admit it to her. They didn't know she loved them both and wouldn't admit it to them either. So instead the three of them pinned over each other silently. She leaned down kissing Ed's forehead and then Gare's cheek. "Ya know you guys get battle wounds so often I am starting to think I am into them." Lidia teased the pair and they both blushed and grinned cute boyish grins. "Oh hush Lids what you did today, was way hotter." Gare said looking up at her with those sweet blue eyes. "He is right ya know sweetheart."

"Oh my god you three are gross just get together in a weird hellfire love triangle already shit it is painful at this point how oblivious you three are." Jeff said with a scoff making Grant laugh and clap him on the shoulder. "Jeffy here is right ya know. We know the three of you are smitten with one another. Plus me and Jeff are gay as shit we aren't gonna judge you three for being poly. Rest of the school might but we kicked ass today and will kick ass again if we have to." Grant grinned. The smoke an talk session was ended in cheering from Grant and Jeff as Eddie stood up being the one to break first pressing his lips softly against Lidia's until they pulled back to catch their breath then Lidia leaned down pressing her lips to Gare's as well in a deep kiss that made him groan against her lips causing her to smirk. "Welp Guess we are a happy Corroded Hellcheer triangle." She giggled. "Corroded Hellcheer, shit I like that sweetheart don't you Gare? Badass poly title if ya ask me!" Gare laughed kissing Lidia again. "Hell yeah princess. It's fucking perfect." Lidia had finally found her group and was never going to let them go. Two amazing boyfriends and so many more friends than she had ever had before. Real friends for once. Her life was truly happy, even with the fights and patching of new wounds every couple of weeks.

[biblioflyer]

Zhat Vash and the Romulan Diaspora, Picard s1e2 Rewatch.

The timeline of the Romulan separation from Vulcan becomes even more murky and shrouded in legend and propaganda. Continuity complaints abound but "canon violation" often really just means "I don't like this, it is silly and dumb."

This is part of a series of essays reevaluating Star Trek Picard and interrogating the widely held fandom criticism that Picard made the Federation into a Dystopia.

This is the episode where we learn the name Zhat Vash in an info dump by Laris and Zhabon. Intriguingly and perhaps problematically they are described as having been active for thousands upon thousands of years. 

This doesn’t line up very neatly with the hazy info we have on Romulan history. The exodus of Vulcans who rejected Surak’s teachings was only supposed to have taken place circa 470 CE when “those who marched beneath the Raptor’s wings” lost a struggle for domination of Vulcan society and left for the stars. 

However, if the people who would become the Debrune and the Romulans could leave Vulcan in the first place and feasibly make an interstellar journey, that implies that Vulcan had had at least rudimentary interstellar travel prior which does not preclude a group of explorers who would become Zhat Vash stumbling across the Admonition and bringing its anti-Synth warning back with them.

Scrutiny of Memory Alpha to refresh my memory of what has been canonically established about Romulan and Vulcan history also brought up an interesting detail: Vulcans may not actually be from Vulcan. 

In a TOS episode Spock actually speculates that a powerful telepathic species they encounter may actually have been ancestors of the Vulcans. Thus there is another possible vector for Zhat Vash to have been introduced into Vulcan and Romulan societies in that Zhat Vash may actually predate both civilizations.

At the risk of deviating into fan theory territory, I do have to wonder if this all adds extra texture to the Romulan / Vulcan split wherein Zhat Vash may have played a role in heightening tensions between the two over concerns that a rejection of emotion and the embrace of pure reason would lead the Vulcans to ultimately dismiss concerns over artificial intelligence as illogical products of anxiety over AI being hostile, uncontrollable, or a moral hazard of some sort. 

It's also possible that tales of Zhat Vash have grown across multiple retellings and they were only founded after the schism. 

I take a stance that we ought to be open to the idea that not all exposition is created equally and not all narrators are reliable. Zhabon and Laris may be our Herodotus in this scene: they’re relating what they were told, and believe up to a point, but we the audience ought not to assume their rumors about a cult operating inside or alongside the Tal’Shiar are completely accurate in every little detail.

It's worth reminding ourselves that even Picard himself does not seem to be a wholly reliable narrator either! In just the first two episodes, he repeatedly demonstrates lack of self awareness and other errors in judgment or lack of knowledge. Thus I think we ought to entertain the idea that even characters who are providing detailed exposition are stating what they believe but not necessarily providing 100% definitive facts about the setting.

At any rate, we find out that Commodore Oh, who has an ambiguous role in ensuring security from clandestine Romulan assassins operating on Earth, is herself a member of Zhat Vash. From what I can recall, even in private Oh does not “break character” which suggests to me that while it's assumed she’s Romulan, it's possible she is culturally Vulcan at least in her decision to abstain from overt displays of emotion. 

Seeing as she’s not the first deep cover Romulan impersonating a Vulcan who presumably would have to pass as Vulcan to other Vulcans, I find myself wondering if some Romulans actually did go on to develop an ascetic tradition that mirrors Surak’s teachings but is either dogmatically different enough from Surak’s tradition to be tolerated by other Romulans or is merely tolerated for its usefulness in grooming deep cover agents.

Thematically, I find that I’m kind of over the trope of secret societies with seemingly omnipotent capabilities to hide and manipulate their host civilization. The X-Files is my own personal touchstone for this trope becoming popular and the longer the show ran, the more the trope became its own problem because the more you tug on the strings of that storyline, the more answers you have to cough up as to how they do what they do and why, and the explanations often become a bit hard to believe, if not contradictory. 

Zhat Vash hiding inside of the Tal’Shiar, creating a situation where you have nesting dolls of memetically ultra effective, conspiratorial organizations just takes this to another level. 

Having said that, the trope is subverted a bit in that while Zhat Vash is feared, they’re clearly not as good as they’re mythologized as being. First off Laris and Zhabon are able to pretty accurately lay out their agenda based on scraps of hearsay. Just off of memory, while Zhat Vash’s motives will be expanded upon as the season progresses, Laris and Zhabon already have at least the broad outline completely dead on.

This represents a level of operational security that falls well below Section 31 who had managed to erase almost all evidence of their having existed sometime after the events of Discovery’s second season and most people who seemed to have had personal knowledge of Section 31 kept it quiet enough that not even the likes of Captain Picard ever apparently heard so much as a scrap of a rumor. 

Also this is a rant for another time, but I absolutely, positively despise Section 31. Absolutely nothing Star Trek Picard does corrupts the Federation thematically more than Section 31. It reeks of a refusal by the inventors of the organization to accept the core premise of the setting that a civilization that devotes itself to fairness both in equity and equality could ever endure or prosper.

Returning to Zhat Vash, as individuals Oh, Narek, and Narissa are far from perfect superspies. I remember Narissa in particular being a real problem for Oh and Narek who are far more cautious and plotting than the impulsive and rather sadistic Narissa. 

Given my biases against conspiracy within a conspiracy storylines, I do look forward to trying to rejudge Zhat Vash and whether I think it holds together better than the Syndicate of the X-Files. For now I don’t exactly hate it, but I don’t love it.

[ataritouchme]

today (12/11) would have been nina’s 24th birthday. to my friends and longtime mutuals she needs no introduction. so iykyk.

the weirdly uniquely frequent dreams about her stopped for a while after she died but they eventually came back, albeit less frequent. shes the only real person from my life that i regularly have dreams about. i dont have dreams about family members or friends or even my husband. i never have. she is the one weird exception.

i promised i’d be there when she needed me even after it was clear she hated my guts. but i was a pussy and a coward and ashamed and afraid so when she called me a week before she took her life i chose not to answer. i held my phone in my hand and timidly waited for it to stop ringing and for the call to go to voicemail. she did leave a message. i didnt call back. i should have. i had no way of knowing it would be my last chance to talk to her but even if it hadnt been it still would have been the least i could have done. i wouldnt have stopped whatever plans she already had but i should have been there and held up my end of the bargain.

through it all and long after we were broken up with zero chance of ever being in each others lives again she remained a constant presence even if it was a fucked up presence. i don’t know why i didnt ever consider things might end up the way they did. the fact that she still shows up in my dreams must mean something right? maybe thats just my ego but i sincerely believe it isn’t.

i was there to watch everyone in her life let her down and hurt her and when it came down to it i did the same thing. i was another piece of evidence that she had no one but herself even after her Self was more or less completely gone. the choices i made during our relationship that led to her rightly dumping me and exiting my life i accept fulll responsibility for and i have made peace with them. everything that came after is the shit that really hurts. i wasnt allowed or able to try and help her because she wanted nothing to do with me for so long. i really wanted to do something to help especially right after we broke up and her mental health clearly had begun to severely deteriorate, but the people around her at the time made it clear that wouldnt be possible and as frustrating as that was i did eventually accept it as like.. well, fair enough. but later when she reached out to me on her own terms i chose to let her down again.

suicide is touchy to talk about because you always want to give the victim humanity and agency and making it about yourself is a bad look especially in this specific situation given mine and nina’s history. but in the end when someone kills themselves the only people left to try and understand what happened are the people who are alive… so everyone except the victim. so some weird and maybe arrogant conclusions i think are probably unavoidable. natural even. so i will admit that for many reasons i feel responsible for her death.

and i dont mean because i didn’t answer her random phone call… at least not entirely, because like i said i know that even if i had answered or called back i wouldnt have stopped her or changed her mind about anything she planned to do. i knew that girl too well to think i could have stopped her from doing anything she’d made up her mind to do. that was probably beyond anybody’s ability.

i think many people failed her but so many things still make me believe i set her down her ultimate path to destruction and death. and i dont feel the need to like try and Not feel that way or whatever. it is one of if not the single deepest regret of my life thus far but it just feels like something so undeniably true that trying to not believe it anymore would feel like denying reality. despite the changes we both went through in the years we didnt speak or the time she was not herself despite everything i still knew her. i know she always knew i was a kind of home. thats why she would still reach out every so often even if it was to say insane things to me from prepaid phone numbers. because why else would she do that if not because for whatever reason i was on her mind sometimes? that is why im sure it was all that much worse when i did end up breaking her heart. she was a strong woman. she was self made. she really had nothing and nobody but herself and it fucked her up but she tried her best anyway always. i can’t imagine the pain she went through. if i had to guess she probably suffered that pain her entire life.

maybe this is cringe and selfcentered but ultimately the thing i regret most about not answering the phone that day is the fact she had not heard my voice in years. i heard hers many times from like voicemail messages she’d leave me and stuff but other than that i only ever communicated with her via text post-breakup. i wonder if that was something she wanted. i dont know why she called. i guess it doesn’t matter.

the day i found out she had killed herself the first person i called was my dad. he also had a formative first love kind of girlfriend kill herself so i figured he’d understand how i felt the best. i was in my car in the office depot parking lot just trying to process it all. i told my dad i wished i had been better to her. he understood but he told me that from what he saw of her and knew of her life he believed our time together was probably the brightest spot in her life. i was selfish in so many ways but i did whatever i could for her to make sure she was safe and cared for while we were together. i dont know much about her life and relationships after we broke up but i hope my dad was right about our relationship being a bright spot in her otherwise rocky life. i want to believe i did some things right when i had the power to do anything for someone i loved very much.

i hope wherever she is now she is free. i like to think so, because the dreams are infrequent now and i rarely if ever see ghosts of her anymore. i dont know what happens after we die but i hope she found peace somewhere, either in her final moments on earth or in whatever comes after.

god, even years later my feelings are so fucking complicated. she was a beautiful artist, probably the greatest and definitely truest one i’ve ever known. she was a strong person but her heart was tender. it would be insane to expect her to cope without good consistent support forever. and even if she had that, it would have been Very optimistic to have expected her to ever fully heal. i’m sorry for everything she went through… the things i am at fault for, the things her family and others were at fault for, and the things that were no ones fault.

i know she did her time in hell already so i hope wherever she is now is more like heaven even if it is just nonexistence or some kind of energy or even reincarnation as something or somebody new somewhere else. i know her spirit will haunt me forever even if its not in a literal physical sense anymore. if souls are real i feel like hers has crossed over by now. but i think i will probably be 99 years old and still have dreams about her. whatever the case, rest easy nina. and happy birthday.

[briannapuppet]

Singing, social control and vampirism

All my life, I've enjoyed singing. I can't stop singing. When I hear a beautiful song, especially if the vocalist is a woman, I want to sing it. I've been this way at least since I saw The Little Mermaid.

My nerve condition particularly affects my vocal apparatus. My throat seizes up, along with a chain of muscles down the right side of my body, from the top of my head to my toes.

In this state, I can only make my "male voice," which is like a colorless monotone around G2. It's like the only muscles that participate in this voice are on my left side. I choose different words and I can't emote as much. I don't sound authentic, and I'm easily interrupted. I lose the ability to breathe through my right nostril, and my right eye turns off.

I don't like to be this way at all, but in this state I can often function for longer and under higher levels of stress than otherwise. Estrogen, yoga, singing and combat sports all seem to help, although my migraines seem to occur when I overtax my right side in this way.

About a year ago, when I started taking my femme presentation more seriously, I noticed that "unsafe" social situations trigger this nerve response more than almost anything. A safe social situation is one where I can be myself: act without planning and second-guessing. An unsafe social situation is when I must constantly bend and twist around an individual or a crowd which might lash out at any time.

The abuse throughout my life makes it difficult to tolerate distress. I was constantly forced to adapt to the social needs of the moment by unsafe people, and I was involved with a string of people who were demanding in a way similar to my birth-parents. Most recently, my then-girlfriend can be triggered into unrecoverable distress (i.e. she refuses to or cannot solve the situation herself) by any number of actions (this is by no means an exhaustive list):

singing, and many different noises

moving too quickly near her

sitting in an unexpected location

leaving the toilet seat either completely down or completely up

asking her to stop talking to you

saying "no" to her, including withdrawing consent, which lead to all sorts of non-consensual and gray-consensual acts

refusing her constant gifts, or making it clear you have boundaries around certain gifts

For each of these, there was some ritual I needed to perform in order to "reset" her back to a functional state of mind. She "masked" these neuroses at first, and over the course of the relationship she deteriorated. I became afraid to be around her, because any of my natural sounds or movements might set her off, and then I would be obligated to comfort her in some way, or I'd be shamed by her or the other members of our polycule.

Ironically, she presented herself to me as someone who wanted to grow to be more open and less neurotic. But she made negligible progress and recruited me into enabling her, as traumatized folks and people with personality disorders often do.

I was growing more resentful of her, but she was so chaotic and dependent, and she had diminished and compromised me so much, that I didn't initially have the strength of spirit to dump her or recognize her controlling behavior. In this state, I actually craved her touch. But, through a combination of trauma-release exercises, singing, and time alone, I was able to remember who I wanted to be.

When I dumped her, I destroyed every one of the non-consensual gifts she had given me. I realized that these had kind of a magical quality, in that my house was replete with reminders of this highly controlling person which reinforced her distorted, projective version of my identity.

Interestingly, during this time, my communication became highly imaginative and metaphorical. This made my ex-girlfriend think I had disconnected from reality that alarmed her. For example, I said something like:

My ex is an energy vampire. Although she is not literally feasting on our blood, she is in, a very real and increasingly disturbing sense, stealing our life energy by restricting our choices and forcing us to participate in her constant traveling circus. I know I'm speaking in metaphors, but I believe that this is the phenomenon that is referred to as energy vampirism. This phenomenon doesn't need any additional magical energy fields - it could be a purely psychological phenomenon, because we are social animals, and we can all be psychologically conditioned and manipulated to some extent. In fact, she seems to unconsciously tell on herself, as a vampire, by performing the classical weaknesses and neuroses of vampires. It's as if she's under the effect of an extremely powerful post-hypnotic suggestion.

Although I don't 100% believe it is a psychic phenomenon, I have noticed strange subtle effects like muscle spasms or ear-popping in association with destroying her gifts and expressing my truth about her. These experiences are frequent, specific, and highly disturbing.

In discussing these events, I've become convinced that there is some spooky brain stuff going on. It seems like she trains me to limit my thinking to what she can process, and in this mirroring process, I am left without most of my creativity. She really thinks that my metaphor of vampirism is a sign of a mental illness, but she can neither reassess the events in light of new information, nor can she seem to understand why I might want to either sing or think in metaphors.

She claims that, by withdrawing my consent to have a relationship with her, I have abandoned her, but this is crazy nonsense. I was not her roommate, she has been left materially no worse off anyway, and anyway, if I can't withdraw consent, then I'm being raped.

I am, however, thankful to be on a path where I am reconnecting these nerves and overcoming this trauma. My voice still goes in and out, especially when other people can hear me, but the overall trend is that my voice is getting stronger and more feminine.

[littlewalken]

july 21

Previous dogs-

Newly acquired dog-

The story we get is dipshits who couldn't fix their Chihuahua and Yorkie had puppies they planned to dump at the pound, this one was taken in and bottle fed by someone who eventually realized a puppy wasn't working along with a toddler and new baby, she's ours now. The only thing between her and a spay at the vets is possibly reaching the minimum weight for surgery. If the birth date they told us is correct she's barely 2 months old. Like I said, dipshits.

She's a bit smaller than we were thinking but since her job will be to hear things all that matters is the size of her ears, lol. And that her hearing dog patch might be bigger than she is right now. One of her big jobs will be alerting that someone is approaching mom, especially from behind, by wagging her tail and being all happy to see them. She also needs to alert when the phone is ringing, the oven timer is beeping, and someone is at the door.

We're still figuring out what to call her, Popcorn is in the running, and she's warming up quickly and digging the idea we don't have small or any children.

I am of mixed feelings as I personally don't want the responsibility of a mammal right now but I'm going to love her.

We haven't had a dog this small since 2006 either. The puppies were half great dane so they were this size before their eyes opened.

Tater Dog (because he looked like a potato) arguably the least complicated and mostly likely to get himself accidentally stuck somewhere member of the family. Fuzzy sister Maeb got herself purposefully stuck.

Part of the adventure of getting the puppy also involved spending all day driving in 100 degree weather thru a shit hole community we almost moved to from the shit shack but all we would have been doing was exchanging crack heads for meth heads in an even less walkable and public transport place. This was also before we got our present blessing of a reliable vehicle.

I almost ended up heat sick and reminded others why I din't go out much in the summer time unless it's in the morning. So far so good with my feet not swelling up like they did that terrible summer.

Was definitely a vitamin deficiency, and dehydration, from not being able to eat and hydrate properly. But the moratorium on that part of my life puts another day of it behind me with each one that passes.

[sadlittleratboy]

YAPPING! BEGIN!

so music wise i think they’d be very nu-metal. think system of a down, limp bizkit, korn, ect. i also feel like there would be a lot of riffs in their music as well as drum fills (if you can’t tell i was in band so im using fancy words bc god damnit i didn’t do that shit for 5 years for nothing)

ok now lets talk voice types

i think himiko is a mezzo-soprano for no other reason than bc my friend is one (and over the course of our friendship i have heard her sing WAY too much) and it just kinda sounds like her idk

dabi is 100% a bass. like yeah his voice is hella raspy which kinda makes it sound higher pitched (but tbh thats prolly from his vocal cords being burned to shit so i think without that he would have a deeper voice) and idk it’s just like. it makes sense to me ok. (also i always imagined dabi as being that kid who’s voice dropped super early so he just had a baby face with the voice of a grown man)

my husband/mr. compress is a baritone just cus i KNOW this man has a deep buttery smooth voice that makes ppls knees weak (can you tell i love him? ik it’s not that obvious) also at this point im going off of vibes tbh

shiggy feels like a tenor to me. he’s just got a relatively normal voice and probably has good pitch control

spinner is also a tenor for the same reasons

now twice is interesting. i feel like he just has amazing range. like bro can hit rly high notes and rly low notes. like it takes some effort but he can hit em

NOW! for how they got together

i feel like it’s similar to how the league in cannon formed. a bunch of outcasts rejected by society who came together to form a family (they make me want to piss and throw up god i love the lov so much)

now lets talk details for each member

himiko’s story is similar, her running away and stuff. but here it’s because of her mental illnesses and her family having ostracized her. so she was just living on the streets until compress just picked her up like a stray cat and took her home bc his dad instincts were activated

spinner and shiggy are both orphans who grew up in the same orphanage (like pls do you see the childhood friends to lovers vision please hear me out on this) and once they aged out and were dumped on the streets they only had each other to rely on and then they kiss kiss fall in love im going insane please send help

dabi is the black sheep of his family, and he basically disappeared when he turned 18. he pretty much cut contact with his entire family and they think he’s dead. this is bc i have this amazing idea of them having thought he was dead for years and then all the sudden they find out he’s just this fucking rockstar lol

compress is basically the only one who’s relatively normal and well adjusted lol like he had a normal childhood and now he’s just an adult lmao

i feel like twice is an ex-con. like he did a few years for a string of robberies or smth idk i just feel like he’s done time. and as we all know ex-con’s are always screwed over by society.

SO!! how they started out was shiggy and spinner would run a two man show. yk dive bars, random underground concerts, shit like that.

they met dabi bc he was at one of the bars where they played and he just went up to them was like “hey i play guitar wanna hang out some time?” and boom dabi joined the band

similar story with compress. once they started getting a little bigger he approached them and offered to help manage the band bc these are all just a bunch of 20 somethings with no adult supervision

and after compress surprise adopted toga she basically forced herself into the band no matter how much shiggy protested

now i don’t have much thoughts on how twice joined in, so if you can think of any that would be totally tubuler

jesus this is so fucking long and i haven’t even gotten to the hc’s

i think im just gonna leave this as in and maybe i’ll send in my hc’s at a later date idk

anyway yapping over

I love this so much. Personally I feel like Mr. is the one with the insane range, because that man is an entertainer okay he is CLASSICALLY TRAINED IN VOCALS and the only reason the other's take any care of their voices. Shuichi has the heavy metal growls change my mind.

Anyway I feel like Shigaraki stopped caring who joined their band after Compress, because he really does just vibe and let the extroverts do the talking. The one who really protested was Dabi because he didn't want another younger sibling (too bad). Toga definitely brought in Twice. Not sure how they met but you're DEAD RIGHT about him being an ex con.

And listen Spinner and Shigs are in love love no matter how they met (which personally I think was over voice chat in a multiplayer game). They do have childhood friends vibes though, even in canon. It's like they're so perfect it feels like they've known each other their whole lives I'm RABID over them.

[teenageread]

Review: It Happened One Summer

Synopsis:

Piper Bellinger is fashionable, influential, and her reputation as a wild child means the paparazzi are constantly on her heels. When too much champagne and an out-of-control rooftop party lands Piper in the slammer, her stepfather decides enough is enough. So he cuts her off, and sends Piper and her sister to learn some responsibility running their late father’s dive bar... in Washington.

Piper hasn’t even been in Westport for five minutes when she meets big, bearded sea captain Brendan, who thinks she won’t last a week outside of Beverly Hills. So what if Piper can’t do math, and the idea of sleeping in a shabby apartment with bunk beds gives her hives. How bad could it really be? She’s determined to show her stepfather—and the hot, grumpy local—that she’s more than a pretty face. Except it’s a small town and everywhere she turns, she bumps into Brendan. The fun-loving socialite and the gruff fisherman are polar opposites, but there’s an undeniable attraction simmering between them. Piper doesn’t want any distractions, especially feelings for a man who sails off into the sunset for weeks at a time. Yet as she reconnects with her past and begins to feel at home in Westport, Piper starts to wonder if the cold, glamorous life she knew is what she truly wants. LA is calling her name, but Brendan—and this town full of memories—may have already caught her heart.

Plot:

Piper Bellinger was a socialite of LA. Her job was to sleep all day so that she could party all night. Her step-father, Daniel Q. Bellinger has been in her life since she was four, and her little sister Hannah was two. Before that, her mom lived in this little seaside town and left after Piper’s father died, found Daniel, and is happy being a millionaire's wife. When Piper’s longest boyfriend ever, dumped her after three weeks of love, claiming Piper’s an airhead, Piper decides to get him back by tossing a pool party. This pool party landed her in jail, and almost cost Daniel a financial supporter. Wanting to teach his step-daughter a lesson, Daniel ships Piper, and through volunteering Hannah, off to Westport, the city of their father. Giving them the upstairs apartment of a bar they apparently own, Piper had to make her own way in town with no financial support and no rescue until Halloween. Sticking out like a sore thumb, Piper and Hannah were the new girls and caught the eyes of all the locals. One of them was sea captain, Brendan Taggart who told Piper she was not made for this town. Determined to survive and stick it to all those who doubt her, Piper begins to find herself and makes a place for herself in Westport, and within Brendan, a surprisingly soft heart. 

Thoughts: 

Tessa Bailey wrote this book so that they can write an explicit sex scene. A true classic summer read, nothing about this novel is remarkable, except for the four explicit sex scenes that Bailey writes Brendan and Piper in. Our characters are pretty two-dimensional, Piper is an LA wild child who has to learn responsibility while still being her fun-loving sparkly self, and Brendan is a cold, stoic sea captain, who learns to bend their strict routines to accommodate their loved one. Classic lesson learned so our characters are not completely the same, but nothing to write home about. For our side characters, Bailey made Hannah Piper’s sister, rather than her friend, but only kept them at friend surface level conversation. Our sisters are literally in the town of their dead dad who they know nothing about, yet they would rather talk about Brendan’s bed performance than talk about their dead dad? Same with Opal, a family member our girls meet, but Bailey never has them have an emotionally charged heart-to-heart, which could have led readers to tears. Yet the only tears I was shedding were from laughing at the awful smut writing. Seriously, Brenard has never called Piper a nickname, but as soon as her pants are off the “honey” and “baby” start to come out. Horrific, and insulting, Bailey really went off four times when our characters hooked up, only to bring them back to their minor problems with minor solutions. Overall, if you want a cute summer small coast town book, others are way better to read. However, if you want some smut, there are also other books to read. This book is trash with no real substance and mediocre sex, and it's a forgettable novel.

Read more reviews: Goodreads

Buy the book: Amazon

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 485, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) neonatal death

WORDS: 1147

I giggled at a story that Slitzy was telling me about a scarecrow, a Christmas tree and a golf cart. The band social media manager was wearing a green and black band t-shirt, black jeans, cat ears and a kitty tail. The babies were happily chasing his kitty tail, giggling and shrieking at the Halloween accessory bobbled and dipped in front of them.

“Mary Claire, I think the babies like my tail!” he whined, turning to look over his shoulder at the spellbound duo.

“Well, the best thing about having kids this young is that anything can entertain them!” I told him as Elizabeth came up and handed to babies a chocolate chip cookie each.

“Yum yum!” yelled little girl before stuffing the cookie into her mouth. Baby Tommy was nibbling at his cookie with a peaceful smile on his face.

“Mommy, wesies bakey bake cookies?” he asked me, finishing his cookie and dusting his hands off. “Pweasies?”

“After Baby Violet Marie is born, okay?” Peter and I had both told the babies that I would soon go to the hospital and deliver Baby Violet Marie via belly button, taking cue from something that Katie had told us a while ago.

The other band members were dressed up- Josh was a werewolf, Kenny was a vampire and Johnny was what could only be described as Oscar the grouch in his trash can home. The kids were all scurrying about, giggling and laughing as they received compliments on their Halloween costumes and being rewarded with candy.

“Mommy? Do you have a reusable shopping bag that we can dump our candy into?” Katie asked me as she chewed on the end of her pigtail. I only smiled kindly at her as I dug out two reusable shopping bags from my backpack and handed them to her.

“Don’t eat any of the candy, wait until your father and I have time to go through everything, alright now?” I mothered the kids, watching as she handed one bag to Elizabeth and then letting the babies dump their fistfuls of candy into the reusable bag.

I rested my hand onto Baby Violet Marie, who was summer salting and twirling around wildly inside my womb, making me need to waddle around to keep her from yeeting herself out of me.

PUNCH KICK KICK PUNCH PUNCH KICK KICK PUNCH

“Tomorrow, you will get to meet your daddy and I,” I murmured to my unborn daughter, looking up as Peter came up to me, the babies’ cradleboard papoose in hand as he asked me to help him get it ready for loading as he changed their diapers first.

“Bum bum bum boo budda bum,” he sang out as he tickled Baby Tommy’s feet and made funny faces at him. “Yabba dabba doo!”

“Yabbie dabbie doo doo!” cackled the giggly little man as little girl laid herself down next to her little brother. “Yabbie dabbie doo doo!”

“Yes yes yes!” Peter cooed as he quickly changed her diaper as well before excusing himself to go and wash his hands really quickly.

“Mama Wen Wen?” little girl asked me as she chewed on her fist. “Wen Baa bee Vi wet Maw ie coming?”

“Baby Violet Marie will be born sometime tomorrow,” I reminded her in a gentle tone, giggling as she rolled over onto her hands and knees and scrambled back up onto her feet.

“Ah can’nt wait!” she gurgled, brightening up as her favorite person in the whole world appeared just then, tossing his hair out of his face as he donned the cradleboard papoose and handed me Baby Tommy first. But before I had any time to even breathe another breath, Elizabeth had taken the chubby little man from me and nudged me out of the way.

“I got it, mommy,” she told me as she carefully slotted the chubby little man into his seat and strapped him in. “Go get off your feet.”

I opened my mouth to say something only to be cut off as Katie came in with little girl in her arms. I gave up and took a seat on the uncomfortable, lumpy couch.

“Hello, Sister Mary Claire!” Josh took a seat next to me. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing pretty good, though I have pregnancy anxiety right now,” I confessed, my hands on my popped out tummy. I took his hand and pressed it up against Baby Violet Marie.

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH

“Wow, she’s strong!” he laughed. “Tomorrows, the big day, eh?”

“Yeah.” I looked up and saw Peter on his knee as my handsome older husband chit chatted with the girls, the babies holding his long hair out of his face as they kicked their little feet in the air. “Baby Violet Marie will be born tomorrow. Hopefully.”

“Well, I can’t wait to squeeze her cheeks!” Kenny announced just then, coming over from where he had been pigging out near the pizza boxes.

“I bet she’ll be a miniature Peter!” Johnny chimed in as well, the three band members surrounding me and making my anxiety only skyrocket to a more dangerous level. “All dark black curls and green eyes!”

“Peter isn’t a natural green eyed, black haired beauty!” I reminded him with a giggle. “He actually has dark brown hair and hazel blue eyes. Though now he has silver grey hair.”

“Oh.” He blinked. “Right.”

“I call him my handsome silver daddy,” I keyed them in with a soft giggle, looking up as Peter came in closer, wearing the girls and their look alike dollies on a hip.

“Alright.” he took a deep inhale of air in through his nose. “We ready now?”

“Fuk?” bubbled little girl just then, her big blue eyes literally making hearts swoon and melt.

“LITTLE GIRL…!”

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

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PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a