#but other than That specific incident i kind of like that she sucks absolutely as a person in this area

[ssaalexblake]

Honestly i know i haven’t actually Watched anything past ep 5 of cm but uhhh Garcia being Like That is not ooc in my opinion... She is the Worst when it comes to personal And professional impropriety and is terrible at relationships, she doesn’t listen to rules and regulations, does shady controlling shit that has me going ‘okay jj’s whole reclusive and inflexible thing isn’t That bad really’ and can be just. Kind of mean? 

Relationships always bring out the worst in her, imo, so i’m like??? She’s not being portrayed well, no, but I can’t claim to think it’s a u-turn to her previous characterisation either if i’m being honest. 

[tswwwit]

Can we have a little bit of a snippet pretty please 🤲 (I asked nicely)

Okay! Have some Dipper Jealousy.

Dipper plays with the collar of Bill’s shirt. Thumb rubbing up against the obnoxious green stain, with his own lips drawn tight. 

He glances up at Bill. Who looks annoyed, letting Dipper fiddle with the cloth -

He also looks. Tired. Almost like he's resigned to something.

“You know this is grounds for divorce in some places, right?” Dipper says, after the long silence.

“Pfft,” Bill rolls his eye, taking Dipper’s hand off his waist before it rises to punch him. He doesn’t stop Dipper from scrubbing at his shirt. “Easy, sapling, it’s just kinda…” His lip turns up in a disgusted sneer. “Her 'thing'.”

Dipper still frowns. He plays a little more with the fabric. God, this mark is like ink. For all he knows, it might be, and it's deeply irritating. At least lipstick would smear a bit -

“She’s not even an ex!” Bill continues, with the same annoyance - but only at the demon he's talking about. He hasn’t stopped Dipper’s fiddling. “Not that she hasn’t tried to get on these angles, mind. They’re perfectly equal!” A pause - then a true grimace. “Apparently this fleshy form is even more appealing.”

Dipper snorts. That part he gets. But - “You don’t have an ass.”

Bill has an excellent body - but half the reason Dipper sits in his lap instead of the reverse is the bony angles of his hipbones.

“Rude,” Bill says, with more amusement than irritation. He waves Dipper off with a slight pout. “At least someone appreciates it.”

Dipper smacks him. Not hard, but enough that Bill lifts a conciliatory hand.

“Oh, please. I put way too much effort into capturing you to ruin it for nothing!” Bill reaches out, and it only takes a little struggle before he manages to capture Dipper's cheek. He strokes it with a thumb, planting a kiss on Dipper’s creased forehead. “Turns out I got terrible taste, and it’s very specific.” He snags Dipper’s other hand, drawing him closer with a grin. “You really ruined me for everything.”

Flattering words. Dumb smug jerk. It's the absolute pinnacle of arrogance to think that kind of show is going to work.

But because he's an idiot, Dipper relaxes anyway.

When Bill kisses his cheek, he leans into it. The soft lips trail on his chin, then to his ear - Dipper makes a face, while Bill can't see it. 

It's abnormally flirty, even for Bill. He presses his suit at times - not that he needs to, they're married. Dropping all this attention on Dipper is nothing but a distraction. Trying to put him in a different mood.

But then. Dipper has to admit. He is kind of - not that he is, really - It's not a huge deal.

Just.

Who the hell thinks they can try to kiss his husband.

Dipper's heard rumors. He's eavesdropped on some gossip. One time he had to clean up some scorch marks outside their bedroom. Hell, Bill said he should be jealous when they got hitched, though Dipper shrugged it off at the time.

With all of it combined - now Dipper knows Bill was right, in his own arrogant way. That it was a warning, of sorts. A heads-up about what he'd be facing.

Not that he's going to admit it.

Bill’s human form is handsome. Presumably his true form is too - but no matter what shape he's in, Bill's not easy to ignore.

For Dipper, it has been easy to ignore that other people have. Interests. This stupid incident only bothers him because it's. Because.

Dipper shuffles in place, still irritated.

There’s a mark on Bill, and it sucks.

Knowing that Bill’s really not interested in anyone else is honestly pretty great. There's never been reason to doubt it; a warm, and comforting fact.

It doesn’t stop Dipper from wanting people to stay the hell away.

How the hell did this happen? Bill hasn’t let someone get this close to him before. 

Dipper glares up at his husband’s face. The look on it is deeply exasperated, and oddly fond. It's still annoying, Dipper turns away slightly. If he huffs out a breath, it's just because he needed to.

And when Bill smiles, Dipper sees a tiny hint of green, on the very corner of his jaw. A tiny streak, almost hitting Bill's ear.

Another kiss. Clearly dodged.

Dipper frowns. Tapping his foot on the floor. 

Okay.

Maybe Bill didn’t expect someone to get close. 

Most people don’t dare, after all. Even when Bill walked in, Dipper could see that his look of irritation was genuine, and that was before he noticed Dipper.

Negotiations with that batch of demons were supposed to last five days, and this only lasted six hours.

Clearly, something went wrong.

“When do you have to talk with her again?” It’s a guess. Dipper’s pretty sure Bill stormed out because she was so forward. Something understandable for any demon - but it’s not a good look if he backs off entirely.

“I’m thinking…” Bill makes a face. He waggles a hand a bit, lips pursed. “Eh, I can let her stew for a decade or two.” He sneers. “Not real sure it’s worth the annoyance.”

There’s a warm feeling, bright inside Dipper’s chest. "Oh," He says. No followup comes to mind, so he fiddles with the collar of Bill's shirt instead.

This meeting was set up months ago. With a demon who's rather powerful, if not quite at Bill's level. From the way he talked about it, it's one of the more ‘important’ ‘business’ deals Bill's had in ages. Now he’s willing to -

“Hold on.” Dipper tugs Bill a little closer, watching him blink in surprise. “I have a plan.”

Bill raises an eyebrow - then makes a 'glrk' sound, as he's yanked forward by his tie.

Normally, Dipper wouldn’t do this.

But he’s married to a demon, and that means dealing with demons. With every complication and culture difference and insane aspect included. Dipper's getting a hang of their hangups. He's almost hip-deep in the politics, courtesy of Bill. He's been drawn into it by his too-powerful spouse, who's mired in all of it - and who's already taught Dipper too much.

If there's anything he knows about these beings, it's that he has to make a point.

And if he does it the right way, the message will come across loud and clear. So what if it's weird? He's already left normal so far behind he couldn’t see it in the rearview mirror.

Dipper keeps a hold on Bill's tie as he rifles through the desk drawers. When he feels a tug away, he jerks Bill back.

There's got to be something left hanging around, after so many years of being a test subject - and he finds one within moments. God, Dipper's got to clean his desk out more often.

It's a little weird. It's a little forward. But possessiveness is practically vanilla for demons, and letting Mabel practice makeup on him had to come in handy at some point. Right?

Dipper turns towards his husband. Somewhat embarrassed. Mostly determined.

Brandishing the lipstick.

Bill had already brightened up at the being hauled around. Forwardness intrigues him.

Now, he's outright beaming.

“Interesting, sapling!” Bill says, as his eye glows a bright gold. He scoots in closer with a sharp grin, and presents his cheek. “I’m all ears!”

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

I really don't understand their father. It's one thing to kove one child more than the others and it's another to do ... what he did. It was an era of misogyny, they were his sons. I get that he didn't live Alicent but still seriously?

Oh boy, you just bought yourself an essay.

Fair warning, this is gonna get a little Team Green-y. I will add a disclaimer that I am fully on Team Green, but I'm not like, a dick about it, ya know?

If you want a full essay on why I'm Team Green, I can give that to you, but it'll take a little bit of time bc I wanna cite my sources n' stuff. For now let's focus on the content of this ask specifically.

I'll start off by saying that ol' Vizzy T 100% sucks. No argument about that.

However, I don't agree that he didn't love Alicent. Remember, he chose her over more politically advantageous matches specifically because he already had an emotional connection with her. No, he didn't love her in the same way he loved Aemma. Maybe it wasn't even love, just a little bit of affection. But he was happy with her.

And he loved Aegon too! Of course, he was never going to love his children with Alicent as much as Rhaenyra, because he has that whole "my daughter is the last trace of the wife I loved & murdered" complex going on. But he wasn't always indifferent to them. We saw him play with him and speak of him affectionately in Episode 3. He threw a whole big hunt for his nameday, which it's suggested he didn't do for Rhaenyra (which is a dick move, but it proves my point that he did love Aegon).

Enter Rhaenyra in petty mode. Now, does she have a valid right to be angry that her father married her best friend? Yes, absolutely. But in my opinion, she doesn't have a valid reason to be angry with Alicent. It was her father who declared he wanted to marry Alicent, and him being King, poor girl didn't have much of an option to say no, did she? Yet Rhaenyra directs almost all her anger at her former best friend rather than her father and Otto, who are really to blame.

This culminates in two specific instances in which Rhaenyra's words and actions leads to Viserys distancing himself from Alicent and his children by her.

The first happens in Episode 3. You know, the same episode where we briefly saw that Viserys was a loving father to Aegon? When Rhaenyra and Viserys have their conversation in the Small Council chamber, and she says, essentially "you're going to replace me and sell me off and I hate that you married my best friend. In essence, it's a guilt trip.

Her feelings about this are valid, but she's overreacting slightly, in my estimation. Viserys has only suggested one suitor to her, and he never said she had to marry Jason Lannister. And at this point, he has never even hinted that he wanted to replace her as heir.

This doesn't seem like much, but I think it's important to note that after this conversation, we never again see Viserys interact directly with any of his and Alicent's children outside of him yelling at them on Driftmark. He doesn't even directly address them at the dinner in Episode 8. It is at this moment he realized that the very existence of his younger children is harming his relationship with Rhaenyra, and so he chooses to distance himself from them (but it doesn't stop him from continuing to get Alicent pregnant).

The second instance is after the "brothel incident," where Rhaenyra very pointedly redirects Viserys' anger at Alicent and Otto. Now, for Otto, he kind of had it coming. But for Alicent? Who that very day tried to defend and protect Rhaenyra? That is just cruel, and petty, and wrong.

But by framing Alicent as simply Otto's pawn, Rhaenyra effectively finished driving a wedge between them. He doesn't associate with his children anymore, and he only ever uses his wife as a nursemaid and sometimes advisor. All to protect the tenuous bond he has with the daughter that he feels is his only way to atone for what he did to Aemma.

As bad as I feel for Rhaenyra with her feeling betrayed that he father married her best friend, and the threat of losing her position (which is never actually on the table, I must repeat), what she did to Alicent and her children is flat out wrong. Her anger was valid, but misdirected and used in a petty, vengeful manner.

It was wrong of Rhaenyra to basically force him to choose, but it was also wrong of him to make that decision. He chose to marry Alicent, and chose to have children with her. Then he chose to disinherit Aegon, and later to effectively abandon all of them. He is, for all intents and purposes, an absent father.

Another post that I can't find at the moment (if someone has a linke please send it to me and I'll add it here) pointed out that the great irony of this is that, in Alicent's children, all his dreams were fulfilled. He had the firstborn son and heir he always wanted in Aegon, a true dragon dreamer in Helaena, and a fellow scholar, as well as a dragonriding warrior, in Aemond.

Viserys, as ever, is the biggest bad guy in this story. He did not handle his relationship with Rhaenyra well, and then he let her ruin the relationship he had with the rest of his family (because they are his family, and Rhaenyra's, though she won't admit it).

In the end, he was a bad father to all his children, and we should all make fun of him to try and make up for it. I'll start:

Vizzy T probably likes his milk chunky.

[senblades]

4, 28, 34 for the ask game!

4: Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

okay so I already gave my whole spiel about my short film (i'll upload it one day.....) but lemme talk about some of my other characters!

I've got a trio of characters in a nebulous political thriller/high fantasy/steampunk world.... uhhhh basic premise of the magic system is that everyone has a spirit tied to them that is related to an abstract concept, which gives them relavant magic abilities. The spirits can be reeeeally broad or hyper specific- the hyper specific ones actually have individual personalities, whereas the broad ones are too abstract to really keep a hold on something like that

(believe it or not, this concept was cooked up before I knew what persona was about HAHAHA any similarites are coincidental)

the characters are:

Karmen (name pending a change): she's tied to a general nature spirit- very kindhearted, and set to be the next leader of her particular city. but, there are a lot of secrets and shady business that's been going on that she's privvy to because of her position, and she does her utmost to Keep Those Things Secret (stuff that keeps the city safe, but is uh... questionable)

Azaila (...name pending... something lmao): she's tied to a spirit of shadow- very combat focused. she's kind of an asshole fhdkjshfds /affectionate. Her city is wayyyy up north in the snow, and their culture is very merit-based, often devolving into duels and shit for leadership disputes. each family tends to have a 'leader' as well, and Azaila gained this position via questionable means from her uncle (she cheated in the duel lmao- her uncle kinda sucks and she was sorta desperate)

Elias: He's tied to a fire spirit, but due to an... incident (TM) in his childhood, he pretends his spirit is too weak and hyperspecifc to be of any use. he's a knight in the capital's royal guard, as is his father (yay nepotism /j HAHAHA) his whole deal is like... dealing with shit like duty and cowardice and trauma and whatnot

soooo i've had these guys on the back burner for a Hot Second. I'll do something with them one day...... maybe i'll draw them at some point too

28: Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

I once again have absolutely no idea what I'm doing HAHAHA- if this was like, art advice, I might be able to help more, but.... hm....

I guess: make sure you plan your plot way in advance! Even for smaller stuff! You are not immune to writing yourself into a corner!

following that, though, don't be afraid to deviate from your plan wildly! (i sure have with fftsr lmao) It's important to avoid writing yourself into a corner, but so long as you see where a potential path lies, you can often write something even better if you deviate from it once you've gotten a ways into the story

34: Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?

it's not really a concern for me, tbh. since writing is entirely a hobby for me, I don't really feel the need to hold myself to any particular standard.

that's a bit misleading, though, since I do still want the stuff I write to be good; it's like, I improve naturally the more I write, and I'm happy with that natural pace rather than pushing myself for any goal. With my writing, I'll be satisfied with what I've got pretty quickly, where I stop and start with my illustrations a lot more if I come up with a better composition or the anatomy is funky or the colours aren't working and yadda yadda (and thus, i improve at art a lot faster (the life drawing classes def helped with that too lmao (anatomy is an interesting beast to tackle)))

ty ty for the ask! <3

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep10: Random Thoughts

Ugh, the thought police episode. I've always thought this one was dumb and not well thought out, and I still do. It's also retreading territory from the Next Generation episode 'Justice', which also sucked, so that doesn't help.

So Voyager goes to hang out and trade with a planet of telepaths who have a utopian society with virtually no crime, and just like in 'Justice', they apparently didn't review any of their laws or punishments before they got there, because B'Elanna gets arrested for the 'crime' of thinking a violent thought for a split second after a guy bumps into her and nearly knocks her over in the marketplace. There's a whole thing about the cop on this planet saying they've elimanated violent thoughts on their world (really??? you've eliminated thoughts from every single person's mind, everywhere??? how were they supposed to have accomplished that??? how do they even know??? idk) and that's why they have no crime, so even thinking violent thoughts is a crime. Their solution is to go in and extract the offending thoughts from 'criminal' brains with their mind probe thing. The Voyager crew, even Tuvok, who was very chummy with Alien Cop Lady, are surprised and shocked by all of this (just. ask. about. their. laws. beforehand!!) and vow to clear B'Elanna's name.

The stupidity of the whole concept of 'if we don't let some aliens punish our crew for some crime, we're breaking the Prime Directive' aside, (y'all are literally leaving forever tomorrow, whether they get to punish one of your crew or not before that has no effect on their society whatsoever!) Starfleet people are always determined to be nice at all costs and play by whatever dumb rules some aliens have, even if it means death or injury for their crew, so they conduct an investigation into the incident that B'Elanna's stray thought apparently caused. Apparently people in this society are not responsible for their own actions, and are totally allowed to act on any thoughts someone thinks in their vicinity, and even if they beat or kill someone, the person who put the thought in their head is the one somehow guilty. I just... I can't even unpack the stupidity of that as a concept. There's absolutely no way you can have functional society where people aren't held responsible for their own actions. Even for telepaths, and actually especially for telepaths, not acting on every thought that comes into your head would have to be the cornerstone of having a functional community. It undermines the whole episide when the main premise is so weak.

But anyway, as they investigate, another attack happens in the marketplace, which Cop Lady finds was instigated by the same thought from B'Elanna, even though she's in custody and never met the person who commited the attack. Tuvok does a memory specific mind meld with B'Elanna, (because I guess mind melds are Tuvok's answer to everything) and becomes suspicious of the merchant she dealt with. It leads him to discover an underground trade in violent thoughts among the seemingly tranquil people, where they get together and have a fight club/orgy of trading forbidden violent thoughts with each other. Tuvok infiltrates them and perticipates in their violent thought exchange. He finds the merchant guy is the ringleader, and eventually turns the tables on him when he mind melds with him and turns the violent thoughts toward him, to make him see that violence is much less fun when you're the victim of it rather than the perpetrator. Eventually they find that the guy who knocked into B'Elanna did it on purpose, so the merchant guy could steal the violent thought from her so they could get off on it in their orgy/fight club. This exonerates her, so they release her before they complete their memory wiping procedure, and she's okay.

There's some character moments here that are interesting, but kind of thrown away- Tom has a gift for B'Elanna, but he doesn't want to tell Neelix what it is when he asks, so of course the audience is left to wonder- lingerie? sex toys? the implications are very naughty for Star Trek! (Especially since we never do find out what was in that box! Sorry, now I'm gonna headcanon it was a vibrator! lol) Neelix then reveals to Tom that he's going to ask a fruitseller from the planet on a date, and how he's kind of nervous about it, since he hasn't been in a relationship since he and Kes broke up. It's kind of sweet, but then she gets murdered. We see one scene of him being shocked and sad, but obviously it's never mentioned again, even though I feel like that would be kind of a big deal to someone if the first person they dated after their last long term relationship got murdered in front of them.

We see a few scenes of Tom being upset that they're leaving B'Elanna in police custody to be memory wiped, and he tries to get Janeway and Chakotay to agree to go in and rescue her. They say no, though Chakotay tells him to come up with a plan they can consider if Tuvok's investigation doesn't find anything helpful. It kind of feels like Chakotay is humoring Tom rather than actually sympathizing though, which is weird, since he's been close friends with B'Elanna for years, and should be as worried about her as Tom is.

But anyway, this episode didn't really have anything especially deep or interesting to say- yeah, of course thought police are bad (I mean, all police are bad, so that's kind of a no brainer), of course if you outlaw something that's a normal part of everyone, you're not going to eliminate it, you're just going to push it underground and create even more of a problem. But having anyone think you could outlaw thoughts is just too far-fetched to be plausible. At least the people who were fetishizing violence were shown to be just as much in the wrong as the people who thought they could outlaw the very thought of violence, but it was all so clunky and poorly handled that nothing here really hit the mark.

The ending, with Tuvok being kind of crappy to B'Elanna and saying 'it's a wonder you keep your Klingon thoughts under control as much as you do' or something like that, was played for laughs, but I actually think it was mean and dismissive, and something a Vulcan wouldn't say. Vulcans are naturally just as violent and passionate as Klingons underneath, they just learn to keep it suppressed through conditioning- the only real differences between Klingons and Vulcans is cultural, otherwise, they're actually pretty similar. Tuvok wouldn't be surprised or disturbed by anything in B'Elanna's mind, especially after the whole Suder thing, and this whole episode of Tuvok going undercover in the alien violence orgy. The implication is always being dropped in Voyager scripts that violence is cool and natural for men, but bad and excessive for women, and it pisses me off so much. Yo, Voyager writers, you want to know why women are angry? It's because men tell us we shouldn't be!

Pretty much the only nice thing I can say about this one is that I liked the matte painting of the planet, and the sets, which had a lot of interesting levels, and looked bigger than the usual town square type set, even though it probably wasn't.

Tl;dr: A poorly thought out concept that made for a dull, pointless episode, which had little to no character development for anyone.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ice lolly, m | ksj

pairing(s): seokjin x reader

summary: You (accidentally?) deep throat a popsicle in front of Min Yoongi. It's not what it looks like! Well, it kinda is, but you have a good reason! You just want to give your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin, a mind-blowing blowjob and you read some stuff online and, uh... okay, that still doesn't sound like a good reason, but I swear it is.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; featuring seagull-BTS LOL; crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-receiving oral); ft Min Yoongi witnessing your, um, attempt XD; my tongue technology strikes again, maybe you'll learn something?

this is inspired by your hapless adventures, cat whiskers. you told me not to do it, but I'm a brat and I did it anyway LMAO get rekt

--

So.

You read this thing online.

What if you just...

"What are you doing?"

You started with a shriek, jamming the entire ice lolly right into the back of your throat, instantly choking and yanking it out of your mouth, only for it to be flung off the wooden stick and fly across the sidewalk, leaving a long, ice-blue streak of melting sugar syrup ending with a demolished hunk of discarded popsicle.

A seagull immediately appeared to peck at it.

You gawked, still clutching the wooden stick, Min Yoongi standing beside the bench you were sitting on.

"Why did you try to deep throat your popsicle?"

A second seagull arrived to peck at the icy hunk of sugar water.

Your mouth was still open, mechanically jerking to face him with fire-red cheeks, and it wasn’t because of the bright sunny weather. He looked very much like a disgruntled cat with his expression, black eyebrow raised, dark brown eyes narrowed, pink lips slightly pursed. Yoongi squinted disapprovingly from under his wide-brimmed straw hat. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt under a white t-shirt, breezy black trousers, and sandals.

Yoongi hated the sun.

A third seagull flapped down onto the boardwalk and joined the other two to poke at the rapidly melting mess on the ground.

"Um..."

He raised a hand dismissively, eyes flicking away from you. "On second thought, don't tell me. I don't want to know." Yoongi jammed his black clutch under his armpit and ripped open his own cold sweet treat, turning away from you to face the ocean.

A fourth seagull flocked over to peck one of them in the head and assist in devouring the ice pop.

"Hey, hyung, what flavor did you get?" a smooth baritone voice piped, appearing in an aqua-and-pink colorful shirt and brown shorts with snazzy sunglasses and tan skin.

You were staring at the four seagulls eating your ice lolly with glee, somewhat frozen yourself, feeling a mixture of jealous, mortified, and absolutely ready to chuck yourself into the ocean if Yoongi said anything to out you to Kim Taehyung right now.

"I don't know. I told them to pick one at random," the straw hat replied.

A fifth seagull appeared, slightly smaller than the rest, poking one in the neck and squawking before trying to prod at the puddle of blue syrup with a small chunk of ice in it.

"I got strawberry," Taehyung replied.

Two more seagulls swooped down, pushing the other five all around. All of them were now pecking at the ice-blue sugar syrup, honking and squawking. Like laughter. One of the seagulls had a weird cry, like a cloth rubbed onto wet glass.

Or a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Disgusting."

You narrowed your eyes at the seven seagulls.

We they... laughing at you?

"Strawberry-flavored things are the worst."

You jumped as someone sat down next to you, ripping open a paper package. He was wearing a short-sleeved pale pink dress shirt with a flashy tie and long blue shorts. A familiar someone dressed like this. He placed his backpack down next to you, smiling brilliantly. Full lips, sparkling brown eyes, milk chocolate-colored locks framing his handsome face.

Your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin.

"S-Seokjin!"

He grinned and leaned in, kissing you lightly. Then he became flustered and laughed awkwardly, a little squeaky, almost like a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Hah, sorry, you looked really cute just now."

You blinked rapidly.

Do you tell your boyfriend that you tried to deep throat your ice lolly in attempt to see if you could extend your tongue around the bottom because you read on a certain-website-not-to-be-named that it might be possible to suck dick and lick balls at the same time and you were determined to learn so you could perform said act?

And do you tell Seokjin that Min Yoongi caught you in the middle of it?

Er…

Seokjin cheerfully licked at his lemon ice pop, oblivious to your inner struggle.

"Where's yours? I thought you got one too?"

The seven seagulls cackled. You glared at them, ready to fight.

"Hyung."

Never mind, you paled to the color of rice paper as the deep voice with a little rasp to it appeared beside Seokjin, straw hat and all. You wished you could merge with your pastel floral summer dress and float off with the sea breeze, straight into the ocean after seeing the deadpan expression of Min Yoongi holding a mint green popsicle.

He looked bored, but his eyes were mocking you.

Asshole.

"She dropped it by accident."

"Ah, really?" Seokjin frowned, nudging you with his hand. "Here, have some of mine. I'll share with you." He wrapped his arm around you and patted your shoulder fondly, holding his ice lolly out to you. You felt your heart skip a little at his kindness and closeness.

Yoongi smirked behind Seokjin's head.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

The seven seagulls flapped off, flying above five guys standing near you three, eating icy sweet treats together on the boardwalk this sunny day, enjoying this nice retreat to the sea. A lone seagull popped out from behind a trashcan, trotting over, eyeing the wet spot of sugar syrup soaked into asphalt.

It slunk away in a back corner, dejected that there was nothing left.

"Come on, hurry before it melts."

You nibbled off a chunk. Mmm. Cold, lemony, and delicious. You smiled at Seokjin gratefully and he smiled back, warm and inviting, his cheeks puffing a little like the edges of raised bread. A little sheepish at the public display of affection, but unable to help it when he was with you.

"You might as well stick the whole thing in your mouth," Yoongi said off-handedly, walking away to the group of five guys, leaving you choking on the bench again as Seokjin rubbed your back soothingly, worriedly asking you what was wrong.

-

"YOU TRIED TO DEEP THROAT A POPSICLE?"

"Seokjinnie–"

"IN FRONT OF YOONGI?"

"Erm, it's not what it sounds like–"

"YOONGI???????"

“I swear it’s not what It sounds like!”

Seokjin yanked the towel off his head, half-dried brown hair sticking up every which way, gawping at you with a slack jaw and shocked brown eyes. He was wearing his emerald green silk pajamas, fresh after a nice shower from the hot day. You too, wore a set of pajamas, a matching outfit with Seokjin.

“It’s not what it sounds like?” he sputtered, flabbergasted, partly flabbered but mostly aghast.

You opened your mouth and closed it. Then you opened it again.

“Okay, it is what it sounds like, but–!”

Why did you bring this up now? Well, your boyfriend was asking you if you wanted to take some medicine and sleep early because you said you weren’t feeling well at dinner. He was a sweet bean and wanted the best for you, and the truth came out in mid-discussion. Seokjin and you had left earlier than everyone else, declining the scenic walk home, mostly because you could no longer stand Yoongi making snide remarks that meant nothing to anyone else except you.

“You might need a bit more force to suck up that thick milkshake. Or wait for it to melt.”

“That’s a pretty big piece of steak. Maybe you should cut it a bit smaller, so you don’t choke.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for dessert? We could stop by the store and get you an ice lolly on our way home.”

You glared at him all evening.

Yoongi just smirked when Seokjin wasn’t looking.

Asshole.

“Why would you do that in public?” Seokjin was saying, yanking you back to reality and out of your daydreams of socking that smug little shit in the face. “Why would you do that at all?”

“G-Gah, it… it just… just occurred to me…”

“It occurred to you to suck an ice lolly like a dick?”

Seokjin looked as if he was going to pass out and divorce you at the same time and you weren’t even married yet.

“Why, because you’re going to suck frozen dick at some point in your life? Because my dick isn’t ever at subzero temperatures, so unless you’re sucking Mr. Freeze or Subzero’s dick–”

You waved your arms in a panicky manner, flapping your sleeves like a fucking seagull. “No, no, no, I read something online–”

“Oh, you read something online!” he exclaimed, wiggling in place, and now it sure as hell sounded like Kim Seokjin was mocking you while also being disappointed in you and if that wasn’t the most big dad energy you weren’t sure what was. “Yes, because that totally means you should perform fellatio on an ice pop in front of Yoongi of all fucking people! Are you trying to get bronchitis or something–”

“I admit it was a mistake!”

“A miss-take! It was a terrible take! Cut! Refilm! Actually, no, because maybe don’t try to give a blowjob to a fucking popsicle at the boardwalk in broad daylight!”

You smacked Seokjin in the chest and he looked highly offended, finally shutting up for one goddamn second so you could (poorly) explain your logic behind the incident.

“Look, Yoongi was not supposed to be there. At all. I got mine first and you all were deciding and arguing, so I decided to sit down and eat it, but then I noticed it was a specific length–”

Seokjin’s eyebrows rose so high they nearly left his face.

You prodded him in the pecs and he winced, pouting at you.

“So, I tried to put it in my mouth, but then Yoongi showed up and fucking spooked me and I jabbed myself in the throat because I was surprised and ended up rocket-launching my ice lolly across the sidewalk and then these fucking seagulls showed up, those bastards–”

“None of this explains why you tried to do it in the first place.”

“Uh…”

Your eyes shifted awkwardly.

Seokjin impatiently tapped his naked wrist that had no watch on it.

“I read it… in an online smut story I was reading…”

You perfectly handsome boyfriend might actually get a wrinkle if he continued to raise his eyebrows to the fucking moon. “You do what?”

You poked your index fingers together, biting your lip. “Because… I’m not very good at it… so I was thinking maybe I could learn some tips or something…”

“What?”

Now his voice was soft, immediately dropping the act and his anger. You saw him reach out and place his hand over yours, wrapping his fingers around tightly, tugging. You looked up and he tilted his head, brow knitted in worry.

“Hey,” Seokjin frowned, full lower lip sticking out. “What do you mean, you’re not good at it? You are. I like everything you do.”

You chewed on your lip anxiously. “But… but…” It was a stupid thought and, honestly, not that big of a deal, but it had been eating away at you for a while, so you just winced and let it out.

“You never finish with my mouth.”

Rapid blinking was his response. His eyebrows disappeared under his brown hair again.

“And it bothers me. You always finish with your hand into my mouth, but I can’t seem to do it by myself.”

Seokjin’s lips parted, looking apologetic. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

You wrung your hands, loosening his grip on you. “I don’t know, it seems weird to say in the moment and it’s embarrassing… I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough…”

“No, no,” he said gently, holding your shoulders and shaking his head. “I...” His ears turned bright red and he swallowed. “I just like… seeing it shoot out into your mouth.” He coughed awkwardly, squeezing your shoulders. “It’s, er, nice, watching my cum drip onto your tongue and lips…” Seokjin cleared his throat and smiled, cheeks puffing out, looking a bit like the sides of freshly baked bread. “I didn’t realize my selfishness was making you feel inadequate. That’s not it at all. I only wanted to make it easier on you, and, cough, it’s kind of hot…”

“O… oh.”

He patted your shoulder fondly. “It’s only a misunderstanding. We can do whatever you want next time, okay? I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I will do better.”

You nodded and smiled, feeling much more relieved about the whole thing. Seokjin always had the ability to help you let things go, and it always made you feel a little lighter. It was part of the past now and you wouldn’t be bothered if Yoongi teased you any longer, because you had the best boyfriend in the whole world. There was no need to feel embarrassed.

You wrapped your arms around Seokjin and gave him a big, fierce hug.

Only to be impaled in the lower stomach.

“Ow!”

“Ack!”

You jerked back, whipping your head down.

“No, no, no, stop! Stop looking!”

“Why are you hard?!”

Seokjin waved his arms and abruptly flapped his hands down on his massive tent. “We were talking about blowjobs! And you! What do you think is going to happen?” he spluttered, the red creeping from his ears to his cheeks now, matching the exact shades used on merchandise during Christmas time with emerald green pajamas and a red face.

You gawked at him and he gawked back.

Wait.

“This is a perfect chance!”

“No, no, no, it is not, cease and desist, woman! Everyone is coming back soo–Gah!”

There was flurry of movement and Seokjin’s pajama pants were flung off, along with his shirt, and you were pushing him down onto the bed, him panicking the entire time, but he couldn’t have been that mad about it, because he was helping you by backing up, yelping as you hooked your fingers over the waistband of his underwear and yanked down, freeing his erection that nearly slapped you in the face.

“You trying to take out my eyeball?” you teased, grinning.

“You assaulting me and you’re upset that I’m fighting back?” Seokjin retorted, trying to hide his smile and be serious, but he was terrible at that and so were you, both of you grinning like a pair of idiots.

Well, you were certainly a little bit of an idiot for trying to deep throat a – you’re right, we’ll let it go (for now).

“I learned some things,” you said excitedly, forcing his legs open abruptly and making him squeak.

“Things? Ack!”

You leaned down and lifted his hard length up delicately, licking a fat stripe from base to tip, sighing softly as you came into contact with the velvety skin and his clean scent, Seokjin gasping above you, but suddenly this was not about him, this was about the cock in front of you and all the information you had complied to this point, ready to apply your learning. You wrapped your lips around the head, swiping your tongue on the underside, and Seokjin groaned, hips twitching but you grabbed them and pressed them firmly to the bed, shooting him a glare.

“Don’t interrupt me,” you growled around his dick.

He gave you a helpless frown. “Hello, I’m still attached to this di–”

You stared at him and slid your tongue out from your lips, swirling it around his girth, pressing the sensitive tip around the contours of your mouth, his eyes widening as he witnessed spit dripping from the wet muscle.

“O… oh…”

You let your eyes drift over his form, slowly, slowly, savoring the lines of his body, broad shoulders, shapely collarbones, the curve downwards to his trim waist, all the while taking him your mouth, tongue and lips soft and mouth tight, breathing deeply, eyes flickering up to his face and his expanding pupils, watching you with awe.

“Holy shit… and you’re not even naked… o-oh, fuck…”

You cocked an eyebrow, probably looking much more confident than you actually felt, but that didn’t matter. Fake it till you make it, right? And besides, every protagonist in every story has a moment of letting go and having courage and this was your moment, inorganic or not, flexing your tongue against Seokjin’s ever stiffening length, his breathing turning into wispy moans, watching you poised over him with his dick in your mouth, still wearing the silk pajamas and yet.

He watched you with amazement, love and lust in his brown orbs.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Your ears burned hot and you tried not to choke on his dick in embarrassment.

Don’t ruin the moment!

Somehow you managed not to freak out and pressed your lips to the base of his cock, hitting his crotch, the uncomfortable feeling of too full expanding your throat, the head practically plugging your airway, but one glance at Seokjin and the suffocation was worth it, seeing him tip his head back, messy brown hair sliding past his forehead, groaning your name with his eyes closed.

You pulled back a little, took a breath, and went back down for the kill.

“What the fuck…?”

Lower lip opening, tongue stretching out, only able to move the tip a bit at the top of his balls. Hm. This wasn’t working. You adjusted and cupped a hand under them, lifting the two soft mounds and pressing them to your chin, your tongue swiping out over them, his dick bending a little in your mouth (more flexible and a lot warmer than an ice lolly, by the way), and Seokjin was losing it above you, shuddering and whining, a mix of curses and your name as you turned your head to get a different angle, the tip of his cock pushed to one side of your throat, determined to see what was most comfortable and got you the best reaction, saliva coating his balls and causing them to become more slippery. You furrowed your brows and gripped his balls tighter, smearing the slick liquid over the soft skin and Seokjin moaned obscenely loudly, falling onto the bed, back arching.

“Oooh, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Abruptly, your throat spasmed, reminding you that needed to breathe, and you pulled back, coughing and panting slightly.

“Does that feel good?” you wheezed. Not the sexiest. You grimaced and cleared your throat, asking again. “Did that feel good for you?”

Seokjin tipped his head up, brown eyes glazed over, breathing hard. “Ah… It feels nice, but I don’t think I could finish with that…” Your frown deepened, but he shook his head, sending his brown hair floating everywhere. “It’s not tight enough. But it’s an insane turn on, so I think I could cum faster after…” He coughed, cheeks flushing. “After feeling and seeing it, you know?”

Your frown erased and you nodded, gently rubbing his soaked balls, seeing him shiver and his breathing shallow. “I think I understand, yeah.”

“Can… ah, can you finish me, p-please, ack, you k-keep – fuuuuuuuck…”

You went down again, but this time your focus was on the tightness of your mouth, tongue sliding from side to side, bobbing your head in a smooth, swift motion, keeping your lips soft, eyes closing as you felt his cock twitch inside your mouth, completely focused on the sensation of Seokjin in between your lips, breathing him in, the soft scent of fresh soap and his sweetness, trying to remember if there was anything you had forgotten.

Ah, yes!

You tipped your head back slightly and Seokjin cried out, heady and erotic, as the head of his cock dragged along the roof of your mouth before burying into your throat, over and over, hot saliva and a squirming tongue amplifying the sensation, realizing you needed to relax your throat but clench your mouth muscles while relaxing your lips and doing all this while keeping track of where his cock was going in your mouth so you didn’t accidentally choke on his dick.

A whole new level of multitasking.

Was the writer of that erotica you were reading some kind of sex god, because what the fuck–

But it didn’t matter, because even if it was sloppy and you couldn’t focus on all these things simultaneously, Seokjin was feeling only pleasure, fingers curling in the sheets, barely able to choke out his words through his moans.

“F-Faster, please…”

Faster? You could barely keep up as it was!

“Please…” he whined and you obeyed immediately, faster it was, because you were weak for him, weak for Kim Seokjin and his pleading face, pupils so blown out he seemed intoxicated, drunk on pleasure, and that made you aroused too, seeing your effect of him, tightening ever more and increasing the pace, the wet smacking sounds quickening, echoing in the bedroom with his lustful groans of your name, so sweet and loving that if you weren’t going to pass out from how fast you were going, you were surely going to pass out from the overwhelming adoration in his eyes. It made you push for a little bit more, push your limits a little harder, made you feel like you could do this.

For him.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum, fuck!”

Seokjin gripped the sheets tight and threw his head back, chest expanding with a low moan, thrusting his hips up and cock jolting, shooting thick streams into your throat, and your eyes widened, forced to stop, feeling his cum pool, creamy and viscous, tasting the delicious saltiness at the base of your tongue, your eyelids fluttering a little at the feeling of the tip rutting against the roof of your mouth and more dribbling out, coating the inside of your mouth.

Oh.

Oooh, fuck, it felt good.

You swallowed, feeling victorious and insanely horny, tongue circling round and round his flinching stiffness, able to sense the pulse and his shudders, descending again because you couldn’t get enough, so good, the feeling of him still in your mouth, him shivering at your persistent licks and light sucks, stroking his hips and moaning at the skin to skin.

The front door banged open downstairs and there was a lot of laughing and shouting.

Your eyes snapped open and Seokjin looked back at you in sheer panic.

The footsteps up the stairs proved they were being taken two at a time.

“Shit.”

Never had Seokjin yanked his cock so fast out of your lips (sad) and snatched his underwear and pajamas, bolting to the bathroom and throwing himself in there in record time the literal second the bedroom door was yanked open by rambunctious strength and a grin whose front teeth were ever-so-slightly too large for his face.

“Hyung, noona!”

You were laying with your head in your hand and your elbow on the bed, which was probably too sexual and weird for Jeon Jungkook, but that was all you got that this moment. He gave you a slightly disturbed and confused look under his big black bucket hat.

“Where’s hyung?”

You coughed and lowered your hand, trying to get in a less awkward position. “B-bathroom…” you rasped. Oh no. Did you go too hard? You sounded a bit like the crypt keeper. Fortunately, you didn’t look like one, so there was that. You rubbed your throat, wincing at the soreness. You definitely went a bit rough. You weren’t no young spring chicken anymore. You were going to feel that in the morning.

Sacrifices had to be made.

Jungkook pouted, bounding up to you and tilting his head. He was a moving black fabric mountain with his long-sleeved shirt and billowy shorts. “Are you really sick, noona? Do you want hot tea or some milk?”

Oh my God, Jungkook, I just sucked some dick and that’s why I sound dead.

Don’t say that.

“I… I’ll be fine, Jungkook. Did you have a nice walk?”

“Oh, yeah! There were fireworks! I think the city was celebrating something, and it was so colorful and pretty…”

You sat there and nodded, trying to listen intently while trying not to think about how Seokjin was in the bathroom rinsing off his saliva and cum-covered dick literal meters from you and oblivious Jungkook.

You saw movement behind Jungkook’s excitedly bouncing head. No straw hat, just black hair flattened against his forehead, covering his cat-like, dark brown eyes.

Yoongi.

He smirked, holding up a box.

Frozen ice lollys, the fizzy soda flavor that was light blue.

A muscle in your eye twitched.

Asshole.

--

masterpost

[elysianslove]

Hello! I know this may not be your thing but I decided to give it a shot, if not no biggy!

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing Gojo and/or Sakuna with an asexual lover? (One that doesnt feel sexual attraction but doesnt mind kissing and cuddling etc and loves physical affection but nothing beyond that?) And like, how a relationship with that kind of person would come to be?

Because Sakuna and Gojo both give off *he totally fucks* vibes.

So how they ended up with an asexual lover would be interesting, maybe the MC rejects their advances because fear of being hated for being Ase? Because they know that the other person definitely fucks.

How would their relationship work? How would the guy react/comfort the MC.

(Maybe it ends with a epilogue with no sex(as in penetration and blowjobs to be exact but mc later in a relationship would be willing to do things like handjobs and other hands on/Using toys to pleasure their partner because they cant in that way) but lots of passionate makeout sessions/kissing/sucking and worshiping the mc's body? Especially the collar bone)

If you arent into it that's cool! I totally get it!

This is pretty self indulgent after all ahahaha it's hard being an asexual in fandoms lmao.

hi my love!! okay to start off, i’m really honored you sent in this request to me. idk just the fact that you’re trusting me with it is really sweet hehe. i’m fairly knowledgable about sexuality but i don’t like to write about things i’m not 100% sure about because i don’t wanna risk doing anything wrong or accidentally offending you! but!! thank you for going into detail with the request, and i hope this is what you were looking for, and that i didn’t do any mistakes <3

i wrote headcanons so i can go into detail and write for both!! 

some nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3

ryomen sukuna 

i’d say, to begin with, it would take a small while for sukuna to even be accepting of his own feelings towards you. nothing having to do with your sexuality, just you in general, specifically that you’re human and so different from him. i don’t think sex ever crosses his mind, at least at the start, because he’s too busy being really angry over the way he can’t seem to control his reactions to every little thing you do. so he himself won’t actively work at starting a relationship with you.

but he will realize, over time, that you’re not doing anything either, even though he’s been noticing that you’re not pushing him or his advances away. like any act of protectiveness that involves him physically touching you intimately, you don’t reject, and you’re always ready to retort at any quip he had. he could tell that these feelings he had for you were mutual, he was just so confused as to why you weren’t doing anything about it.

sukuna’s a thousand year old cursed spirit. he does not know shit about sexuality. i think the way he’d look at it is fuck who you want and fuck who you like. i feel like nicki minaj’s said that before, has she? he doesn’t like thinking too much about it, you know? 

his confession would probably be a kiss because words? he doesn’t know them. when he feels you return the kiss he’s, deep down, elated, really, and this is simply because of his naturally sexual personality, he starts hinting at more, until you stop him. he’s really confused because you just kissed him back? you’ve been kissing him for so long why do you want to stop now? he can see the fear steadily growing in your eyes and he’s even more confused now he’s just. humans are so weird. 

when you cautiously tell him, “i don’t want to go further than this. is that okay?” you look like you’re waiting for the world to erupt in your face. he just frowns and shrugs like, “yeah but that’s not the point. do you not want me?” 

it takes about an hour and a half for sukuna to properly process what you’re saying. at first he’s so thrown off by it, not by you! he just can’t process the fact that someone doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards someone or doesn’t crave sex at all. it’s not that he’s rude about it, it’s just a really foreign concept to him, you know? when you add that it’s just sex, and you’re okay with a lot of other things, the gears in his brain finally start working again and he just goes. 

*shrugs* ok. 

literally lmao. like i said earlier, sukuna doesn’t give a shit like whatever do what you want. 

because of the rush of emotions he’s feeling towards you, and the fact that this in itself, a relationship, and a relationship with a human too, he doesn’t really focus on the fact that he might want more from you. he’s easily satisfied with a lengthy make out session, and he admits it to you every time he sees you get a little anxious or unsure of yourself. 

however, his needs do grow with your relationship. it’s kind of clumsy, your transition into a proper long term relationship, especially with sukuna, but you two make it work. 

you agree to try different ways to pleasure him, even if he kinda rushes through them because he’s generally just excited to have your hands on him. at first he’s content with anything you’re offering, but it makes him feel kinda useless when you won’t let him touch you and you have to remind him that your needs are different than his and that you’re sated differently.

i see sukuna as a curious and experimental guy, so he would definitely let you use toys on him. nothing too extreme, because he still needs that sense of control, but you do use some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrator to rile him up. he likes using your hand too, because it’s always so soft against him and it feels a hundred times better than any toy. he learns not to overstep any boundaries though, and not to do anything that might make you uncomfortable even if it takes him a little longer. like i said, the whole idea is just different to him, so it takes him a while to understand, and he’s still learning as he goes!

he loves your make out sessions, especially after you establish your boundaries and your limits and what you’re willing to do for him. he absolutely adores leaving your skin a sky of blue, pink and purple it sends chills down his spine marking you like that. he’s always touching you all over, and just loves to grab and knead at your skin. 

in the proper long term, he doesn’t mind it at all tbh. the two of you develop a system, and he’s okay with it. the same way you would never cross his boundaries and force him to do anything he doesn’t want, he’d do for you too! it really never truly mattered, and it truly never will.

gojō satoru

different from sukuna, i think gojō would definitely be knowledgable about things like this. idk he just seems like the kind of guy that’s innately so aware of everything around him, and can read people exceptionally well.

he probably picked up on the fact that you weren’t comfortable with sex, or just didn’t experince sexual attraction, on his own, but never really brought it up because it was never his place. but the same way he picks up on that, he picks up on your obvious crush on him. he pays both details no specific attention until he starts to realize his own feelings for you, and begins on his subtle advances.

he tried to make his advances as sfw as possible, you know? just in case his suspicions were confirmed to be true. he was just extra flirty, sometimes touchy but never in an inappropriate way. very subtilely like always having your shoulders or knees touching or dusting of your jacket or feeding you a piece of his food. cute little things like that.

he gets super worried when he notices you start to distance yourself from him, because he can’t imagine what he might’ve did to push you away. he overthinks a little, worried that he overstepped his boundaries or made you uncomfortable in any way, but he isn’t afraid to approach you about it, to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, especially with someone like you, who he’s slowly growing more and more infatuated by. 

when you admit to him you’re asexual, he realizes he was right, but then he’s like, “and? did i do something?” and now it’s your turn to be confused because here you were worried about rejection but here he was worried about you? 

this specific incident is what makes you let loose and finally just freely admit your feelings for him. he’s ecstatic about it, seriously! all that’s on his mind is that he gets to go on a date with someone he really likes. sex is the last thing on his mind, and yeah, you’ll eventually have to talk about it, but not for now. it’s for later, when things get a little more serious. 

they do get serious, to both your delights, but the dreaded moment is approaching you. gojō definitely sits you down and says, “we’re only having this talk so i know never to do anything outside of your limits. everything about this relationship is 50/50, and i want to know ways to make you feel good, too.” 

please sir your hand in marriage.

i definitely believe gojō’s a kinky guy, and is more than willing to try out literally any sex toy you pull at him. genuinely, he’ll try anything you wanna try. if you ever offer a handjob, he’ll ask a million times over if you’re sure. usually, he likes to just do it himself, but have you there next to him. he won’t touch you, but your hands will be in his hair, and you’ll be kissing his neck, or just murmuring how much you love him in his ear, just spurring him on. he knows the last thing on your mind is anything sexual, but there’s just something about being under your watchful, almost bored gaze as he fucks himself.

anyways before i get too into it lmfao, he loves kissing you. loves loves loves it. not even full blown make out sessions, just gentle, serene kissing. he can kiss you for hours. 

he is also incredible at body worship and praise. paints your pretty collarbone pink and purple, whispers about how you’re perfect for him, describes all your features to you like poetry. he’s an incredible lover, really. nothing can make him fall out of love with you, absolutely nothing. 

[asimovsideburns]

(For the fandom blorbos and such meme:) Name the ones from the tabletop you're running.

[image I.D.: an ask from @rogueofcrows that says "fandom ask game except with your archipelago dnd game 👀" end I.D.]

hell yeah hell yeah thank you! I'm only going to say NPCs because I think I could definitely spoil some stuff about people's characters for the other players, since it's ongoing, and I would never want to take The Reveal away from them.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

okay this is like. ehhhhhh minor spoilers, minorest spoilers, but I'm soooooo excited for an NPC that hasn't shown up yet and won't for a while. Her name is One-Nine-Nine and she's my absolute bestie, lives in my head rent free. One day my PCs will progress the plot instead of destroying themselves emotionally (I say with affection) and they'll even get to meet her!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Theresa, she's a halfling from Gnomengarde and she's simultaneously so trusting and so afraid and getting information out of her was a nightmare for the players to the point where I think at least some of them wanted to bite her but she was just too nice and accommodating and she has incredible chewing stim energy. Like I could pick her up and bite into her and she would just kind of squish but with a good amount of resistance so that you can really feel it. Possibly I just need to go chew on something for a bit. She gave the party some of the mushroom caps her and the others use to make bread, lantern oil, and "wine" (three different kinds of mushrooms, not all from the same kind). I do not think the party wrote down which were which.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Every bartender who has pre-emptively told Eyeless Cave Shrimp that they can eat the glass their drink comes in but it's an extra silver, and also specifically Torbin, who offered bent nails as an oatmeal topping option.

Also Linene Graywind, immortalized in E's notes as the MILF who runs the armor store (no name written down).

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Edric and Allegreta!!! They are Out There. They are Doing Things. What things? The players don't know! Maybe I don't know! If I do I'm not saying! But let me tell you... if the archipelago was a tv show they would definitely periodically show up in the background doing insane stuff and I would fully pause to point and be like THERE THEY ARE!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Falcon. He sucks soooooo much and I took one look at his canon incarnation and said "this dude fucking sucks. I can make him worse." and then I did. It's not even that I like him so much as that he was so incredibly threatening and scary and then the party annihilated him so fucking fast and then they annihilated themselves over it very slowly.

Literally so much of what is going on right now is driven by The Falcon Incident rather than the fact that there's a fucking dragon terrorizing the countryside. We don't have time for plot we're doing interpersonal drama, and it's the absolute greatest.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Sennin, Nim's husband. He's having a bad time right now. Also Tibor, who was having a bad time earlier. God I just remembered that Tibor was just like. There. for the Falcon incident. He stood there while Falcon monologued. He knows how to drive the cart.

Also all the PCs, except for the fact that they're doing a fantastic job tormenting themselves with very little help from me. (I do still stir up the waters occasionally, though.)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Falcon for being a bad person, Allegreta for a gay love confession that saves her love interest's life.

[rwby-necro-au-archive]

Ozpin Week

Day Six: Day Off/In Battle

@ozpinweek

Description: It’s no surprise that running a Necromancer academy can come with issues. Necromancy is outlawed in many parts of the world after all.

One such issue is the equally unsurprising amount of Pursuers that try to sneak into beacon. Good thing that beacon is made for this, by having what is essentially a maze surrounding it’s buildings. The pursuers most times end up getting lost due to this.

Perhaps it’s also good that a certain headmaster watches his academy and students like a hawk in case of such incidents.

“How upsetting, and on such a lovely day like today.” Ozpin sighed. It would seem that he had been swamped with sorrowful reports and countless uninteresting meetings all day. What he had truly wanted was to be outside or at least to be interacting with his students. But it would all have to wait until these reports and paperwork were finished.

Even though today had started off as it normally would, Him getting up, getting ready for the day, and then heading off to the academy, it still felt like it was particularly monotonous and dull. Nothing interesting had happened, hell even the students hadn’t done any of their usual antics today.

He shook his head, it’s not like any of them could anyways, they had term ending exams to study for. Although he couldn’t help but wish someone would’ve done something.

Knock Knock Knock

A gentle but firm knock was heard at the door. He could tell it was Glynda, it was the small, seemingly insignificant details that he focused on when it came to people. Even the way someone knocked on a door could tell you who they were.

“Come in, Glynda.” Ozpin called out cheerily.

The door opened, “I will never understand how it is that you know whose outside your door even before they walk in.” She quipped.

“I always did pay attention to detail did I not?”

“That is true. Anyways, you look like you’ve had the life sucked out of you. How much paperwork?”

Ozpin leaned back in his office chair “What on remnant makes you think that I know? Absolutely nothing interesting has happened today. Such a shame, it’s such a lovely day too, and here I am stuck doing paperwork.”

Glynda gave a sympathetic sigh, “You aren’t the only one. Despite that, that’s not what I’m here for.”

“Right, To the point. Is it something I should be concerned about?”

“Yes actually.”

His face became stern in response, “What is it?”

“A pursuer has decided to go looking for students to harass on premises.” She explained

“Why haven’t you or the other staff gone to handle the situation.”

She gave an eyebrow raise “Why?”

“My apologies but if they haven’t done anything yet then what would be the point in coming to me?”

“Fair. This one has been…..persistent. He refuses to “take the hint” and stay away from the school. He essentially mocks any staff that tries to get rid of him. Figured you’d be in more luck getting him to leave the students alone.”

Ozpin pinched the bridge of his nose. How annoying. Not just a pursuer but a pursuer with the gall to mock his staff and harass innocent students, his students. It’s no wonder she came to him with the issue, she’s most likely more frustrated than he is.

“Also, I figured since you’ve been stuck in here all day that it would be good to give you something interesting to do. Not to mention get some fresh air” Glynda smiled

He smiled back “I appreciate it. Now then, where is he right now?”

“Seemingly lost in the northern wing’s maze.” She said, she handed him a photo taken from security footage.

He thanked her before leaving his office. Sure, pursuers weren’t an uncommon problem at Beacon but that didn’t make their presence any less annoying.

What was more surprising was that none of them whom he himself had dealt with, have had the audacity to actually go to their boss to tell him about his so called “friend” being a necromancer. Although, what pursuer would ever want to admit to their boss that they ran away from a necromancer?

In fact they, to Ozpin’s amusement, started heavily embellishing their stories to the other pursuers about what he was like. Some tales painted him as a terrifying monster, some painted him as a roughed up intimidating man with unspeakable power, and some painted him as a different being entirely.

It had turned into a game for the headmaster, to see what stories the pursuer he was dealing with had heard. At least it made the job of getting rid of those pests more enjoyable.

Without fail though, every pursuer who had heard about him was surprised to see him in person. The man they had heard was a terrifying monster, a roughed up untouchable man, or a different being entirely, was in reality a dapper, polite, and well kept 6’8 man with a northern Atlesian accent and a love and protectiveness for children.

He quickly walked out the main buildings doors and searched around for the northern entrance into the maze. Once found, he set off towards it. As he walked through the crowd he was greeted by students, all of whom were most likely on their way out of the school, he gave a quick hello and wished them well on their way home.

“Of course a pursuer would choose a time like this. Easy targets.” He mentally noted.

Once he entered the maze, the rest was muscle memory. He knew every corner, every corridor, every alley, every brick, stone, and piece of concrete of beacon like the back of his hand. Knowing where everything was at Beacon was as easy as walking itself for the headmaster.

As he walked he also listened. Listening was important in a situation such as this one. Eventually, what he had been listening for was heard. A yell. He picked up his pace and followed what he presumed was a female students yell.

As he listened further, it wasn’t just the one student, it was a group of them, most likely friends, who this pursuer had decided to go after.

This pursuer seemed to be a real colorful one too, throwing slurs and disgusting innuendos at the girls. There were 3 things Ozpin specifically hated, Pursuers, Those who aim to hurt children, and Creeps. Unfortunately for this pursuer, he was checking all the boxes.

He reached a corner and peered behind it. There stood 5 female students, backed into a wall by this disgusting excuse for a man.

“I bet the guards will have some real fun with you bunch once you get to atlas.” The pursuer sneered.

Ozpin appeared out from behind the corner, standing behind and over the pursuer, “Well that’s not very nice, now is it?” He spoke cooly.

The pursuer jumped and turned around. Eyes widening in realization as he looked up at who was standing in front of him.

“Y-you’re the monster all of the pursuers were talkin’ about.”

“Why yes! That is me!” He said cheerily

“I-I ain’t scared of you! You aren’t anything like they make you out to be. You’re just some guy, I can take you!” The man yelled.

“Tch tch tch, none of you ever learn from one another, do you?”

“The fuck you talkin’ about?!”

Ozpin smiled and looked towards the students, “Now students, here are 2 lessons for you all. Looks can be quite deceiving, take this man here for example. He may look threatening, but in reality, he is weak. He is weak because he is letting his anger get the best of him, which is not a wise decision if you are going to engage in combat.

When you are angry during combat, you stop thinking about how to hit your enemy, and instead just think about hitting your enemy anywhere in general. This leaves you vulnerable.”

“Fuck you!”

“Oh dear, and it seems we have quite a vulgar man as well.”

“Why are you bein’ so polite? I thought you were supposed to scary.” The pursuer snickered

Ozpin laughed, a cold, merciless, and wheezy sound, no doubt from his smoking habit. “Well, my friend, What kind of an example would I be setting if I wasn’t polite? I’m the head councilman of a country, a headmaster, and a professor! It’s my job to make sure I’m setting a good example on how to deal with pests such as yourself.”

He looked over at the pursuer, “show time.” He thought. In a simple blink his eye colored changed from a warm, caring hazelnut brown to a cold and soul destroying green.

“Besides, I am a merciful man. I wouldn’t want to make more of a fool of you when you’ve already done most of the work yourself.”

The pursuer visibly froze, he mentally laughed “Everytime, without fail. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of it.”

Ozpin turned back to the students and told them to go home. He had business with this pursuer that he needed to attend to. Who was backed against the wall and helpless now?

The pursuer continued to yell slurs and insults at the headmaster. Eventually, he took out a blade an managed to slice Ozpin across the cheek, causing the headmaster to stumbled back some.

Okay, maybe not helpless. But he surely was backed against a wall in a maze with him.

Once he regained his footing, Ozpin ungloved one of his hands as he gently touched two fingers to the wound, “Well, I’m impressed, consider yourself lucky. You’re the first pursuer to ever actually land a hit on me. Even if it was a cheap shot.”

The pursuer laughed victoriously, while distracted by his small victory, Ozpin grabbed long memory. Quickly shifting it into its shotgun form.

“Although,” He spoke.

He harshly shoved the pursuer against the brick wall, leaving the man slightly dazed and confused. Ozpin aimed long memory at the wall besides the pursuers head and stared down at the man.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to bring a knife to a gun fight?”

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans. she's an interesting character—or rather, the case surrounding her character is quite interesting.

i honestly don't know if i can say i dislike her. by all means, she should be a fan favourite, and she is... but for some rather intriguing reasons.

for one thing, due to the fact she's hardly expanded on in the series, certain parts of the fandom have been forced to either take the few qualities that she displays canonically and amplify them to the extreme (eg. immediate righteous anger at the slightest hint of injustice in fic) or create an entirely new personality (eg. no, i didn't actually disapprove of your pranks, it was just sexual tension). of course, the option of creating a new personality is much more tempting when you can just add amplified canon traits on the side.

for another, her relationship with james sometimes seems likes it's being weaponized against snape and his fans. i've seen arguments that go like "haha, snape just wanted to fuck lily, but james got her in the end anyway, sucks to be you", and not only does it entirely reduce her to an object, it feels like they don't even care about the relationship, the dynamics or the characters. she's basically a plot device.

and thirdly, half of her characterisation in fic is to be a peter stand-in. we don't like the rat man, so let's take the pretty girl and put her in place of the guy who was canonically a member of the marauders, even up until he was named secret keeper. suddenly, she's a prankster and an enabler.

but, snek, you may say, all of that is fanon lily, tho. you just explained that people seem to like her because they just put any personality they want into her as long as she's at least vaguely a good person. you would be right.

let's look at canon lily. she's described as the brightest witch of her age, most everyone speaks favourably of her. in fact, the only people we see actively disliking/being upset with her are petunia, out of jealousy and the invasion of privacy concerning her letter, severus, who lashed out and used a slur that also applied to him in a moment of serious distress and apologised after, and well, pureblood supremacists by virtue of her being muggleborn. interestingly enough, even this dislike manages to develop everyone's character more than it does her own.

as a teenage girl myself, let's look at her actions as a teenage girl. not necessarily in chronological order because I'm writing this at 2am and my memory is already mediocre at best.

1. she's done well enough in school to be considered trustworthy and responsible enough to be a prefect.

okay, i can respect that. a good few of the prefects at my school were really just appointed based on how much the teachers liked you, but at hogwarts, there's so few of them that they must put at least a little effort into it, so i'll move on.

2. she does not press for details when informed that her best friend's life needed to be saved by someone who has been publicly tormenting him for years

now, see, there's no reason why she needs to play therapist. it's not her job, she's just a girl, and we know that snape wasn't supposed to talk about the incident, so he would've been stuck if she had asked for an explanation. however, i also feel like she doesn't seem particularly concerned about his wellbeing, and when he brings up his concerns about lupin, rather than ask for proof, she dismisses it. which, fair enough, i would hate to listen to someone talk about the same thing over and over and over, but, i also feel like the fixation on a theory like that would be cause for concern.

3. she dismisses the actions of a group known to play tricks that harm people and have specifically been tormenting her best friend on the basis that they don't use dark magic

first, i'm going to establish what i usually assume dark magic refers to. aside from jinxes, hexes and curses, i also include anything that produces an effect similar to any of the unforgivables (takes away your life, your free will or your ability to feel safe in your own body, such as when you're in excruciating pain), and magic that would require a sacrifice of some sort.

when snape tries to point out the danger in what the marauders do, she insists that they don't use dark magic. and they don't... but they do use illegal magic. she then argues against the company that snape keeps, which, again, to be fair, is justified considering mulciber's done something to mary macdonald... it's also not a particularly realistic ask. snape probably shares a dorm with these guys, and he's a poor half-blood so he's already on the outs. as far as he knows, any dissent will be met with him getting hexed in his sleep. but, i digress.

given that the marauders have been shown to be doing extremely dangerous with little regards to anyone's safety, and actively tormenting her best friend, i disagree with her choice here. on the other hand, she's made her own friends in gryffindor and perhaps she sees a nicer side of them that we don't get to. she's justified in her actions, but i still disagree.

4. she intervenes when her best friend is hung upside down by a spell of his own invention at the wands of the people who have tormenting him for years

she does object to the marauders' treatment of him, and she does try to get them to let him down. if i were in her position, i would absolutely do the same. i respect the decision to stand up for her friend.

5. she does not seriously attempt to help him or punish the marauders

i do not respect how she handled it. at any point, she could have drawn her wand. but, snek, you say, perhaps she didn't want to get involved physically. she wanted to follow the rules. in that case, at any point, she could taken points, assigned detention, or sent someone to get a member of staff. she does none of those things and i viscerally disagree. if we were ever friends and someone tried to hurt you, i can assure you that i would try to at least see to it that they'd be punished, even if it wasn't immediate or by my own hand. lily, however, chooses to argue rather than take action.

6. she smiles when severus gets hung upside down

chances are, it was more than likely an involuntary reaction, like laughing when your friend has fallen over. however, the fact that it was intentionally written in seems like it's mean to be an indicator that the friendship was already falling apart.

7. she comments on her best friend's poverty and uses a name that's been used to make fun of him after he calls her a slur that also applies to him

she was 100% within her rights to be upset by being called a slur. it is never okay to use slurs. the only situation in which a slur could possibly ever be appropriate would be if you were an oppressed group attempting to reclaim said slur which is not at all what snape was doing here. he was experiencing cruelty, being humiliated, publicly, for no reason beyond existing and he was in distress, choking on soap and upside down. it was damaging to his pride, especially when james suggests that he needs lily to fight his battles for him (paraphrasing) which is an emasculating statement to make, especially to a teenage boy. so, snape lashes out with the most hurtful word he could think of, which happened to be a slur that also applies to him. lily was 100% justified in being upset about this, and she retaliated in kind. she was very much allowed to say what she said. i understand that she was hurt and angry and i respect that, especially as i can't guarantee that i would not have been just as upset in that situation.

8. even when the threat of sexual harassment is made, she still does nothing

i get it, at this point, she's hurt, she's mad, she wants him to suffer since she's a teenage girl and teenage girls hold grudges like it's nobody's business, but... i definitely couldn't just stand by and watch it happen. she basically just let them go through with it.

9. she does not accept her best friend's apology for calling her a slur that also applies to him, effectively burying the friendship

she is, by no means, obligated to continue being friends with him. however, if i were in that position, and the apology was sincere, i would take the friend back.

10. she goes on to date and eventually marry the guy who bullied her former best friend for his entire school life

no. i disagree. but, snek, you say, james changed. no. he didn't. we know, that at this point, james was still going after snape behind lily's back. you can say that she didn't know, but that means that she would have allowed james to lie to her and that doesn't sit right with me bc a relationship built on lies is a relationship that is going to fall apart, especially when your partner has been disappointed by your actions before. you can say that she did know, and that proves that she simply didn't take her responsibilities as head girl seriously enough to stop the head boy from harassing people when she explicitly told him not to. the point is, no. there is no way that this would have worked out as a long term relationship. james is too comfortable lying to her. i can't even say she was justified. there is no circumstance where i personally see this as okay for anybody involved.

alright, so, essentially teenage lily was justified in (most of) her actions, even if i find them questionable.

adult lily dies at 21, while saving her son, but her death also helps save the wizarding world. good job. she, as expected, did what any good mother would.

and that's canon lily.

my thoughts: she's a perfect example of why writing tips are so adamant on making sure people try to show and not tell. we were told that lily is meant to be good and pure and lovely, but the author never bothered to actually prove that, so what we're left with a dissonance between what we see and what we know.

as a result, i still don't know if i truly dislike her. her actions are justified, but they don't match with what we've been told, and we don't have any other information to go off of. at best, i can say for certain that i disagree with many of her choices, despite understanding why she would have made them (except for marrying james potter, uggghh, the only good thing to come out of that was harry and the saving of the wizarding world by extension, ig).

thanks for reading all that, btw! hope it made sense :)

[randomshipperhere]

Since Toast uploaded the 7k IQ video which is the start of the Lud-Syk trolling duo, more peeps are getting interested about the incident again and I have a lot of thoughts.

I personally believe the most annoying thing about the whole Sykkuno incident a few days ago is that SOME people are like:

"Oh, Corpse would've made sure he was okay" or "Corpse would've done a better job at protecting/defending him"

and some of these people are the same that hate and blame Valkyrae and Toast for what happened. Emphasis on some since most people just want to show their appreciation to Sykkuno and try to comfort him in their own fan way.

Really fucking irks me how they romanticize and make Corpse and Sykkuno seem so much closer than they actually are. There are many friendships like this so I'm used to the life cycle but that doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off everytime.

(Hey remember when Septiplier was at its peak and people pushed away Bob and Wade despite being literal friends with Mark for years prior to YT. Or when Ethan and Tyler first hopped on board[specifically Ethan] and when the trio would play with a 4th person that isn't Jack they would just go apeshit)

I am also not joking or taking it too far but this kind of thinking really pisses me off

You know what Corpse would've done? He would've been the same as Lud. Lud and Corpse are just new friends. There are still walls and boundaries that they have yet to pass and they really can't do more than what Lud has done. I am a shipper, it is in my username. I live off of the idea of romance. But to drag a real life person that a lot of people romantically ship with in a VERY personal situation (personal enough that Syk would not even tell anyone on stream his problems) is not cool.

The playful yelling was the tipping point. It wasn't the cause. Rae and Toast are both known for their tough love to Sykkuno.

Like look, in those series of events, Ludwig was the most outwardly protective person of Sykkuno in the last game. That was pretty much all he could do due to his limitations and I'm sure Sykkuno really appreciated that. He was body guarding Sykkuno, stood up and talked for him when he was clearly sad, choked up even. Until his character's dying breath. He stood by his side. More like when the lights turned off but you get it. It was sweet, it was nice, he really tried his best (and I love him for it).

The thing is though Ludwig wasn't the only one who tried to help Sykkuno that round. Valkyrae who is known to love killing Sykkuno (for the memes) killed the other 2 people and fessed up for her crimes. One is because she was caught in the act of killing in the 1st meeting by Toast and two, upon realizing that Sykkuno was dead in the 2nd meeting she felt guilty and just admitted to the murder. She wanted to speedrun so Sykkuno could play again sooner. Right after, Toast calls button and gets to avenge Sykkuno by voting out the other impostor, his killer, Tubbo. Toast didn't even get to explain why Tubbo is the killer, he just made him fess up. To say they remotely didn't care is really fucking pissing me off.

BTW I watched Lud and Toast's streams for this specific match and I will say this, Toast had nothing to go off to know for sure that Sykkuno was sad. Him and Rae were trolling back and most likely didn't know how bad Sykkuno's day was. He doesn't read the comments on his live so when he was trying to find Sykkuno in the 1st round, with Rae (for the most part) that says a lot about how much he knows what Syk was feeling at the time with what little info he had. After pressing answers for him in the 1st meeting he just stopped and pretty much figured out what was happening.

Now another thing. After the match, Sykkuno is obviously sad and said he was going to go and get dinner, Rae follows up by saying she has to head out. We sure as hell know that these guys could stream for hours but she stopped there and even deleted her VOD as well. Now why could she have done that. Oh yeah. She must've talked with him. About what. I think you all know at this point. With two people quickly leaving, and two VERY important people in this "drama", Toast changed discussion and asked if the MC server was back up which made the others leave, ending their Among Us game that day. He left a parting message to the viewers and called it a day there.

2:16:50 is where the "yelling" starts and 2:26:00 is where he said this

Toast: Chat, Sykkuno's fine, okay?He's an adult. Okay. You don't have to tell me, or his friends, or him what to feel or what to do.

It's really disrespectful. Knock it off

Now tell me, what about that makes you think they don't care?

Are we also just forgetting that it was Rae that helped push Sykkuno to create his own lobby with people he loves playing with a while back? How this Tsunderae tells him how good of a player he is even when he thinks he just got lucky (god damn, Valorant days).

Are we forgetting how Toast was probably the most important person that helped Sykkuno grow confident in himself? When they hang out together and the bits we've heard from the podcasts, Sykkuno absolutely treasures his friendship with Toast the most (There have been multiple occassions where Sykkuno and Toast are caught on-cam or at least heard in the mic speaking to each other, more often than not in Lily's Just Chatting streams. In fact, I wouldn't put it past those two to be the ones talking in Yvonne's "I got a cat" video and the most popular clip from that was Sykkuno eating a sandwhich which is titled "SUSKKUNO")

The first recent example that came to mind was Lily and Michael's birthday stream.

It happens around 23:00

In other news Sykkuno and Lily's friendship is underrated and I don't understand how y'all sleep on it.

My parting words are Parasocial Relationships suck. Okay, good night.

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[221bshrlocked]

Follow Your Heart

Pairing: Ardeth Bay x Reader

Words: 12,609. Please do not hate me. I put markers to where you can stop and continue later

Warnings: Some pining. Little bit of angst. Definitely some fluff. And as you should know by now, smut. Unusual dirty talk in the sense that it is more romantic than dirty. Hopefully it gets you going though.

A/N: I have not written anything in so long and I apologize that this is not what you expected (aka Bucky or Steve) after the on/off hiatus. I am genuinely surprised considering this is the longest story I have written. I’m trying my hand at something completely different and since there are a few of us out there thirsting for Ardeth Bae Bay, I hope you like this. And shout out to @mss4msu for literally handing me the Middle Egyptian and Hieratic on a platter because Lord knows I still suck at this and she is a genius. Also, Happy Birthday friend, you know who you are. Lastly, refer to this for an in depth disclaimer for this fic.

~I~

It was a quiet day, one of the few since you’ve arrived with Evy on the site. You weren’t one to tag along with her or her husband, but you couldn’t pass a chance to visit a place like Luxor, not when it was your professor’s favorite city. Being one of Sir Gaston Maspero’s students, you’ve heard all about the temple, this side of the Nile even, and you’d always wanted to come to it, not just for research purposes but to enjoy the magic that was Egypt. 

You always envied Evy for living in this place for so long, even wished you were favored by the librarians and professors like her, but she was much more charming, beautiful even. You were the cousin no one paid mind to, apart from the Professor of course. He had always favored you amongst the others and you didn’t mind it, not when you were learning about the greatest civilization in the world. You had always wished to be more connected to this land but sadly, you weren’t. Your only connection was the knowledge of the languages and the culture, not a parent you could always speak of during parties and galas. 

Looking up from your notebook, you placed it aside and sipped from your afternoon tea, eyes searching the landscape in front of you, hoping the sands and waves would tell you something, anything about the place you were in. It has been years since you’ve spoken with your Professor, wishing he was here with you, telling you all the secrets whispered to him by the stones. He always had a sense of things around him, and he once told you that you had that same instinct but you brushed it off. If you did, it hasn’t made itself visible yet. You’ve been here for months now, without a new find or anything to write about back home. 

But like Evy, you weren’t one to give up so easily, constantly searching for the impossible. A breeze flew through your hair, your skin shivering for the first time in a long time. The summer was close to ending and while it was unbearably hot during the day, the night could be even deadlier. You drank the rest of your tea and were collecting your notebooks when a few papers flew away. Immediately, you ran after them before they fell in the water, managing to catch all but one. You were about to jump in the water when a hand flew and grasped your wrist, pulling you back before you stepped any further.

“Wha-”

“The waters are not safe in these parts of the country.” Your eyes shifted back and forth between the man’s own dark orbs and his hand. He finally let go, staring at you as he passed and went into the water to collect your page. You hoped it was soaked enough that he wouldn’t see what was in it, sighing in relief when he came back out with what used to be a sketch.

“You must be careful. We do not need anymore incidents around here.” He threw the wet paper in your hands before walking away from the hill, yelling something to the men working around the temple before getting on his horse and leaving. You sighed before throwing the page away, hating how you somehow always made a fool out of yourself in his presence. You had not expected to see him today. Rick and Evy weren’t around so he had no reason to be here, or so you thought. You walked back to your tent to wash up before dinner, telling the men it was time for them to go home. 

"في أي وقت تريدننا أن نأتي غدا يا انسة؟" 

Miss, is there any specific time you wish us to come tomorrow?

One of the men yelled out to you, wiping the sweat from his forehead and waiting for your response. Your Arabic was that of a child’s and although you loved practicing it with the men and the people in the village, you hated how it came out like that of a toddler’s, sometimes grammatically incorrect and other times completely wrong. But you struggled through a response anyway, smiling at them before replying to the leader of the workmen.

"يمكنكم الراحة غدا وسأخبركم لاحقًا."

You can rest tomorrow and I will let you know later when you can come in.

They put their tools near your tent and left, thanking you and bidding you a good night. You were aware of the position you were in and at times, truly disliked it. You thought of maybe giving them a week or two break but you weren’t sure how that would go with your superiors back in Oxford. Once everyone had left, you brought food and water to your guards and asked them to take the night off. Both of them turned to each other and thanked you for the opportunity but told you they would remain nearby. When you realized they would still do whatever they wanted, you thanked them and left back to your tent.

You left them chatting about some wedding coming up and went back to your tent, shutting all sides before stripping down and showering. You were thankful for the men’s expertise on setting up this tent. They left you a place near one of the palm trees, closed from all sides so you could wash up quickly if you needed to. It was your favorite part of the day, standing in the middle of the desert and surrounded by the ancient air. Finishing up quickly, you left your hair down to dry naturally, wrapping yourself in a night robe before walking out of the little room. As soon as you looked up, you almost squealed, hand clasping at your chest for air. 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Your words were a mix of anger and fear, body refusing to budge from its place until the figure in front of you said something. When he continued to stare at you, you cleared your throat and moved to pour some wine for yourself. “I thought you had left.” You turned around and saw he was still staring at you, his eyes following the droplets of water falling on your shoulders. 

When he continued to remain silent, you sipped from your glass and sat opposite of him. “I’m assuming Rick and Evy are coming soon then?” 

“What makes you say that?” His response was laced with sarcasm and you hated how he sounded, how he always treated you. Perhaps it was the heat finally getting to your head or the long hours in the field, maybe even the wine, but you’ve had enough.

“Seeing as you are never around unless they are, I thought they would be coming. We both know you are not here out of interest…” Your words trailed off and you looked up, surprised to see his demeanor change, however, not for the better. Without any hesitation, his frowning expression followed you as he stood, walking towards your chair and leaning down enough for you to feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“Never ask your guards to leave.” His eyes darted to your lips but for a moment, watching the wine stain them a dark red before he pulled away and growled something in Arabic you didn’t quite catch, walking through the little opening in the tent and leaving you a mess. You downed the rest of your drink and crawled under your covers, finding it impossible to sleep now that you were so close to him. The man did things to you ever since you met him and you hated it. Somehow, you were always like a dog in heat whenever he was around. You weren’t sure what it was that was attractive about him; between his nearly black eyes and plump lips, and his dominant yet kind personality, you were sure there would never be another that would catch your attention. 

But it was just your luck that he absolutely despised you, constantly calling you out whenever Evy and Rick were around or, when they weren’t, ordering you around like you were a child who couldn’t care for herself. You wished you could know what it was that made him regularly angry with you but you opted to thinking it was because you were a complete outsider that, like her cousin, dug around in places where she didn’t belong. You chose to fall for a man that couldn’t stand you, a man that had every reason to not like you or your family, a man who could have any woman in his bed should he ask, a man whose sole purpose was to keep Egypt's secrets hidden from the curious eyes of the world. 

A man who went by the name of Ardeth Bay.

~II~

It had never occurred to you that the day would come when you could speak with a living being who belonged to an ancient tribe. While the modern Egyptians you interacted with were descendants of the ancients, whether of the Coptic or Muslim traditions, it amazed you that one of the least known tribesmen were among you to this day. In any text you read, administrative and personal, you could always find hints of the Medjay’s presence. In the royal letters, they were those who protected the deserts of Seth, the Pharaoh himself, and sometimes even the borders of the country. In the personal ones, although rarely mentioned, they were described as ones who never carried out much interaction with the population, always keeping to themselves or helping out wherever they were needed in a village before leaving. They patrolled the lands at times, making sure there were no Hittite or Akkadian spies seeking to destroy Pharaoh. 

Now, the chieftain of the Medjay was another story. He was constantly mentioned in any type of literary texts. Most of the times, he was mentioned by name and on behalf of his people. He was the most important of the Medjay for obvious purposes. You continued scribbling absentmindedly in your notebook, not paying attention to what it was you were writing down. You fell out of your haze when you heard a commotion in front of your tent. Looking at your watch, you jumped out of your bed when you realized you’ve been idle for an hour, quickly putting on your robe before exiting the tent.

“Is everything alright?” You saw the two guards arguing with a few women from the village, immediately walking up to them to see what was wrong.

“There is nothing to concern yourself with Miss.”

“Please, tell me.” You saw the two men look at each other before nodding at the women. 

"يريدونك ان تحضر حفلة زفاف صديقتهن الليلة."

They want you to attend their friend’s wedding tonight.

The women stood there in silence until you decided and although you wished to go, you weren’t sure you would be welcomed, especially if the bride and the groom did not know. You struggled with what you wanted to say and hoped you would make sense to them. 

"انا اتشرف لكن هل تعرف العروس أنكم طلبتن مني؟" 

It would be my honor, but does the bride know you came and asked me?

They smiled at your broken Arabic and nodded in unison before telling you that she was the one who asked them to come and invite you. They told you she would have come herself but she was preparing for the wedding in a few hours. You told them you would be more than happy to come and laughed when one of the younger girls jumped and hugged you before kissing both of your cheeks. The men did not look pleased at your decision but said nothing, telling you that one of them would stay on site while the other accompanied you to the wedding. And when you tried to tell them there was no reason to do so, they told you it was non-negotiable. 

So you left back to your tent to dress more properly before making the regular morning rounds, grabbing your notebook and heading to the other side of the temple where you have yet to excavate. You had asked permission from the townspeople first, and although you thought they would not grant you access since the mosque built on the site was still in use, they surprisingly agreed as long as you didn’t damage any part of the prayer house. You found a bolder near the mosque and sat on it, sketching the grounds first before going anywhere near the mosque. 

You stayed there for hours, losing all sense of time when your thoughts strayed away from the place to something, or rather, someone else. Flipping through the pages, you stopped and looked at the page you were invested in during the morning hours, shaking your head at how pathetic you were. Near the portrait you sketched of him instead of the one which fell in the Nile were hieroglyphs. You never knew that day dreaming would include writing in a dead language and you laughed a little, not because of what was on the page but because of how clever your mind was even when it was idle. 

                                                      𓇯𓂠𓍑𓇌 𓏥

“ḥry mḏꜢw.” You whispered to the monuments, tracing the lines of his features and wishing you had a better understanding of the man that was Ardeth. He was a living marvel in every sense of the word. And although you were attracted to him because of his intelligence and past, you couldn’t deny how handsome he was, probably the most beautiful of men you’d ever had the pleasure of looking at. You’ve only ever seen his face and hands, and as much as you hated to admit it, they were the fuel of your evening activities far too many times. And whenever he haunted your dreams, you always woke up heaving and sweating, knowing very well what your dreams were about. 

So busy continuing your sketch of him, you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching you until it was too late. For the third time in less than twenty four hours, Ardeth crept up on you, standing a few feet away behind you and ignoring your obvious distress before approaching you.

“You have got to stop doing that.” You said humorously but stopped smiling when you realized he was in a foul mood once more.

“Why are you going to the wedding?” He ignored your previous comment, crossing his arms and waiting for you to reply.

“I thought it would be rude to decline the invitation. I have never gone to an Egyptian wedding before and I have a feeling I will not get a second chance again.” Your tone came out more aggressive than you intended but you didn’t care. 

“And the guards? Had I not told you last night to never ask them to leave.” Ardeth took a step forward and part of you felt a twist in your stomach at his proximity, not because he would hurt you. No, he would never do that. But because you were barely over what transpired the night prior. 

“Last time I checked, I was the boss around here, not you. Now, I understand your position and hold great respect for it, but if you think you can walk around ordering me simply because I am a woman then it is best you don’t come around unless Rick or Evy are here. I don’t need to listen to you and you know this very well. If you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare for a wedding.” You stood up and took one step forward, not seeing the giant rock in front of you. You prepared to hit the ground but no such thing happened. Instead, you felt a pair of arms wrapped tightly around your waist, holding your body against a solid chest. Looking back, you felt Ardeth’s hands tighten around you as soon as you made eye contact with him. His eyes were dilated, the beautiful brown barely visible, jaws clenching when he saw your parted lips. He let go instantly, looking away and leaning down to pick up your notebook before you asked him not to.

As soon as he flipped the notebook to dust the sand off, he saw his portrait and the hieroglyphs written at the bottom, blinking confusingly a few times before handing you back the notebook and excusing himself. You wished the Nile could just flood and take you away from here. Not sure what to make of his reaction, you went back to your tent, aggressively opening the flap and throwing your things on the bed. You noticed something on the chair and picked it up, looking around to see who could have possibly come in here.

Walking outside, you saw the two guards drinking tea under a tree. Approaching them, you asked if they saw anyone go into your tent. When they told you that one of the women came back with clothes for you to wear, they accompanied her to your tent to make sure she placed it inside and took nothing. You thanked the two of them and walked back, studying the familiar gown you saw everyone wear in the village. You were glad they had given you one, not because you had nothing to wear but because you were afraid you dress might offend them. Quickly washing up, you put your hair up and put the long silky black gown on, twirling around in front of the mirror before putting your heels on and leaving. 

It was around five in the afternoon by the time you finished. You walked out and made your way to the guards to let them know you were ready. But when you got there, you saw them talking to Ardeth, bowing their heads to him when they saw you standing there and leaving. For a second, you thought he was going to argue with you and ask you to stay but as he approached you, you saw the almost reserved gaze he held. 

“Both men will stay here tonight and I will escort you to the wedding.” He said calmly and although you preferred this side of him, you couldn’t trust his sudden change of demeanor. 

“Are you serious?” Ardeth looked up at your question and you could pinpoint the moment he felt guilty but you chose to ignore it. “You do not wish to be in my company.” He said, more as a statement than a question and you hated how you denied him immediately.

“No no, that’s not what I said. Nevermind, we should probably leave. I don’t want to miss anything.” You turned around and refused to look back until you had reached the streets of the village. You realized you didn’t know where the wedding would be held but you saw some families walking towards the main church and thought to follow them. As soon as you arrived, you saw the girls from the morning standing outside. You smiled when one of them saw you and ran to welcome you in but as soon as she saw Ardeth, her eyes widened and she said something in Arabic that you did not recognize. 

And then something you’ve never seen before happened, absolutely taking your breath away and causing you to swallow the lump in your throat before approaching the other guests. Ardeth smiled at the young woman and asked her to not tell the elder of the village that he was here. You watched as he interacted with her and waved to her friends, telling her that he would rather enjoy the evening with everyone than have the attention on him. She smiled at him, telling him she will make sure no one will tell any of the administration that he was here before leaving to join her friends. 

You wished you could ask him why he said this but you thought it best to leave him alone. No need to start arguing from now. The night was young and you wanted to enjoy every moment of it. 

~III~

The ceremony was longer than you thought but you didn’t mind it. You enjoyed the hymns they sang, surprising Ardeth when you had picked up one of the books and followed along with the Coptic. You could tell he was staring at you but you ignored him, wanting to commit this to memory. When they finished and the priest announced them as man and wife, all the women began ululating and although it took you by surprise, you were glad to be a part of this. They were all so joyful, following the newly wed outside to the street as they walked to the giant tent and stage in the middle of the town. 

Not thirty minutes later, everyone was dancing and singing along with the couple. You watched as musicians played and danced around the woman and her husband, laughing when he picked her up and twirled her around. You forgot Ardeth was there and continued to watch everyone celebrate the two, but Ardeth was very much aware of your presence. 

Unbeknownst to you, he has spent months in Luxor, watching you and making sure nothing out of the ordinary took place but more importantly, making sure you were safe. He begrudgingly listened to Evy when she told him she knew his secret. He had tried to lie but Evy was clever, telling him that there was no shame in admitting the feelings he had for you. Ardeth told Evy that he could never be with you because you did not think of him the way he thought of you and up until a few hours ago, he thought Evy was lying to him when she told him that he was mistaken. 

When he saw the sketch you had of him, along with the hieroglyphs of his name and his title, he changed his mind. Maybe, just maybe, the feelings were mutual, but even then, he has been nothing but rude and condescending ever since he met you. Perhaps this was more out of curiosity than anything else, because in his mind, no woman as intelligent and beautiful as you would think of him that way. He was not from the ordinary population. This was even excluding where he came from; surely you would want to marry someone who held the same customs and traditions, perhaps even faith, as you. Why would you look at him, a man who was living proof of an ancient people, whose culture was completely different from yours, who might not give you everything you would wish for?

Ardeth was brought back to reality when he saw you standing up and leaving. He was about to follow you when he saw who it was you were approaching, sitting back down in the back along with a few others and watching as you went to the bride and the groom. 

When the young woman saw you, she tapped her husband on the shoulder to get his attention. The man thanked you for coming and told you that his wife aspired to be as kind as you one day. You were taken aback by the response, thanking the two of them and taking a small bag out of your purse. 

You told her you didn’t know what was proper to be given as a gift. She had declined it at first but when you opened it and showed it to her, both of them were surprised and asked you if you were sure. You didn’t know how to convey why you were giving it to her so you looked around to see if anyone who understood English could help you. As soon as you looked towards the back, you saw Ardeth staring right back at you. Swallowing your pride, you motioned for him to come, clasping your hands together to tell him you truly needed his help. He was next to you within moments, asking you what it was you needed.

“Could you please tell them that, as I understand, the blue scarab brings luck and keeps the evil eye away. And I wish for their marriage to always be happy and that they never struggle in anything.” You watched as he took the golden necklace, his eyes holding your gaze before he turned to the bride and told her what you said. She was surprised and said something back, her husband agreeing with her. 

“They are telling you that you are right but they could not possibly accept this.” Ardeth smiled at the couple and translated to you, watching as your expression frown in confusion. He thought it the most adorable thing he’s ever seen.  

“Why not?”

“It is made of gold and lapis lazuli Y/N, this would be the most expensive thing they own and they couldn’t take something as precious from you as this.” You almost gasped when he called you by your name, and you stopped yourself from asking him to say it again, knowing this was not the time or place for such a confrontation. 

“I know. But I want them to have it. Please, try to tell them again.” You placed your hand on his hand to turn it their way and Ardeth couldn’t help the blush that crept on his cheeks. He asked them again, telling them you knew very well what it was and that you really wanted them to have it. The couple looked at each other and back to you before taking the necklace and thanking you for it. The young woman hugged you tightly and kissed your cheeks, thanking you once more before asking her husband to put it on for her. 

You went back to your seat and sat down, waiting until a few moments passed before thanking Ardeth for helping you.

“It was nothing.” Ardeth replied, smiling again and watching as you timidly looked away, busying yourself with something other than the handsome man next to you. In that moment, everything clicked in his mind. The bickering, the shy demeanor, the quietness whenever he was around. You didn’t do these because you disliked him but because you thought of him the way he thought of you. Maybe not completely in the same way because he thought of you in such a manner that wasn’t allowed for him. Not unless you were his own to do such things with. 

You saw some of the workmen dancing around, one of them stopping when he saw you sitting next to Ardeth. He approached you and asked you if you would join him, to which you declined insistently, telling him you would only make a fool out of yourself. When he asked again and saw the way Ardeth clenched his jaws, he stopped, knowing it was unwise to anger a Medjay. You followed his gaze and saw the way Ardeth was staring at him, your heart fluttering for a moment at the thought of him being jealous. But no, that wasn’t possible. 

“Perhaps it is best if you take a week off?” You asked the man and he looked at you strangely, asking you if he understood you correctly. 

“Yes, a week. Don’t worry, you will be paid.” You smiled when he jumped and kissed your cheek before running to the other men and telling them they had a week off. You turned to look at Ardeth but he was nowhere to be found. Looking around, you didn’t find him anywhere, mind reeling back to see if you had said anything to offend him. You waited around for another hour and when he never returned, you excused yourself, bidding the couple a good night before walking back to your tent. But you were stopped by one of the girls, telling you that it was custom in their village for everyone to sit, even for a minute, with the palm reader on weddings. You never believed in these matters but thought why not, following the girl until she brought you to the older woman. 

“Sit down my dear.” The woman took your hand and pulled you down until you sat across from her. 

“You speak English?” You hadn’t meant to sound surprised but you have never met someone her age that could speak English.

“A little. I learn quickly.” She winked at you, opening the palm of your hands and drawing patterns across the lines. She remained quiet for a long time before putting your hands down and looking at you. “You have a long life ahead of you, a bright one too.” She said nothing else and you didn’t know what came over you but you asked her anyway.

“Is there love in this life?”

“There could be.”

“What do you mean?” Before you finished your question, the woman was bringing out a small piece of paper, handing it to you to see your reaction. When you opened it, you read the few lines written in Coptic and turned to look at her once more. You knew what it was. You had seen something similar at your time in Oxford when Professor Maspero brought you his findings and although you didn’t believe in such things, you were not one to tempt your luck. “Thank you, but I think it is best if I leave.” You handed the paper back to her, watching as she smiled and nodded your way.

“To be wise at such a young age. May Allah bless you and keep you safe my child. And to answer your question, there is. And you will not need such charms to make it so, for the one you seek has always had his eyes set on you and no one else.” You didn’t have time to say anything before the woman was standing up and walking away, leaving you more confused than before. Silently leaving the festivities, you made you way back to the excavation grounds, your legs leading you to the shores of the river rather than your tent. There was no way you could sleep after hearing the old woman’s words.

~IV~

You returned to the same spot you always sat in to watch the sunset every day, looking up at the sky and marveling at the many stars and constellations so visible at night. But your mind quickly returned to the old woman’s fortune; did she mean what you thought she meant? It couldn’t have been possible that she knew your feelings, let alone Ardeth’s. But she was so sure of herself.

You dug into your purse and pulled out your notebook, returning to the familiar page once more and passing your fingers over his name.

“You know, I never thought of how my name could mean something else.” You turned around when you heard Ardeth call behind you, not bothering to tell him that he almost made you drop your notebook again. When you said nothing, he continued.

“May I join you?” He asked and you could tell he was fully expecting you to tell him off. But when you nodded and motioned for him to sit next to you, he did so quietly. 

“What do you mean?” You asked him, not bothering to hide the page from him anymore. He silently asked if he could see your notebook and pencil, and you handed them over. He traced his callous fingers over his name in hieroglyphs, reading them out loud and smiling at you.

𓄿𓂋𓌗 𓂞𓇌𓏏𓏛 𓃀𓇋𓄿𓎡𓅄𓅆

“Ꜣr dı͗t bı͗k…”

“The one who makes the driving away from the falcon.” You repeated after him, watching as his smile brightened even more so than before. Then you saw him scribbling something down right next to the last part of his name. 

𓃀𓇋𓄿𓈅𓏤𓈐

“bı͗Ꜣ? As in path?” You asked him, trying to see what his name would mean now.

“The one who makes the driving away from the path,” he whispered, then pointed to the tattoo on his forehead and his cheeks. He watched as the meaning of his name dawned on you.

“The one who makes the driving away from the path of the netherworld through maat.” You responded, smiling when he nodded at you and told you he preferred your interpretation better.

“Why?” “As I see it, it was our role to protect Pharaoh who was the manifestation of Horus on earth. It makes sense that my name parallels the old ‘job description’...to drive away Horus from his demise and being taken into the underworld.” He handed you back your notebook and looked towards the river, watching as the waters softly hit the shores.

“Do all the Medjay have those as well?” You asked, hoping he found no offense in your curiosity. 

“No, just the chieftain. But all of us hold names that correspond to an element of our past lives.” He continued, turning to look at you once again and hoping he could find it in himself to apologize for all the times he disrespected you. You met his gaze before looking away immediately. It was hard to maintain eye contact with him, his eyes making you feel as if he was staring into your soul. Then you felt his hand rest on your own in the sand, looking down and seeing his fingers clasping yours harshly. Your heart was beating against your chest and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. 

When you turned to face him again, he was already staring at your lips, and you couldn’t help it, licking them and mirroring his actions before leaning in towards him. Ardeth didn’t want to move, afraid he would break this trance between the two of you, but when he saw you moving towards him, something completely otherworldly took over. 

He let go of your hand and cupped your cheeks, pulling you towards him and taking your lips aggressively in a hungry kiss. You gasped into the sudden motions, hands fisting in his clothes to hold onto him so you didn’t fall over. Ardeth took this as a sign of submission, pushing you down on the sand and cornering you between his arms. When you moaned against him, he snuck his tongue past your lips, exploring your skin like it was a new oasis. His hands crept into your hair before rolling down your form, holding onto your waist and squeezing you against him to feel every inch of you. 

You didn’t know what to do, torn between pushing him away to ask him about the sudden change of heart and begging him to take you to your tent and have his way with you. When he felt your nails dig into his shoulders, he pulled away, his breath fanning over your cheeks and his eyes memorizing your blissed out facial expression. When you finally opened your eyes, you had already regulated your breathing, pulling your hands away and keeping them to yourself. You hoped he would understand and move away, and when he didn’t, you looked anywhere but him.

Ardeth finally understood what you were silently asking him, moving away and sitting up slowly. Before he could say anything else, you were standing up and running away to your place. He knew calling after you wouldn’t do him any good so he sat by himself for a while. When the night air turned colder, he stood up and was about to go to the other guards when he saw your notebook lying on the ground. 

Picking it up, he dusted the sand off and made his way to your tent. The Medjay saw him approaching and stood up, greeting him before returning to their posts. 

“wḏi.” The command passed his lips angrily, and the two subordinates knew not to question him. They stood up and walked back to the village, leaving Ardeth standing outside your tent. He had spent hours committing to memory the pass of your tongue against his, every smooth touch of your skin against his rough fingers. Without thinking much of it, he walked into your tent to place your notebook on the nightstand, telling himself to not look at you even for a moment. 

But his self control flew with the breeze, his eyes turning back and seeing your naked figure under the thin covers. He could tell you were naked, for your entire back was exposed to his gaze. Gently, he reached over and rolled the cover until you were shielded from his eyes. You looked so beautiful in your sleep, hair forming a halo on the pillow. He knew this was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. Slowly, he traced the blush on your cheeks up to your hair, brushing the few strands aside to take a closer look at you.

“A-ardeth…” His name spilling from your lips pushed him back to reality, pulling away and exiting the tent immediately out of fear of himself. He bit his tongue to distract himself from the familiar ache creeping into his groin whenever you were around. It was much worse now however, because he knew what his name sounded like when you moaned it in your sleep. Sitting near the fire, Ardeth removed his knife and picked up a large tree branch, cutting away to distract himself from the sleeping figure not twenty feet away from him. 

Unbeknownst to him, you were very much awake when he entered your tent. For a moment, you were afraid it was not him but when leaned over to cover your body, you could smell his scent, one that you were more familiar with now more than before. You knew he would not try to force himself on you and when he brushed your hair, you couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your throat in the form of his name. He was gone a moment later, leaving you a mess beneath your covers. You wished you could bring him back to your bed, tell him you ran away because you were afraid of offending him by asking him to do something that may not be acceptable in his culture and not because you were refusing him. 

You slept knowing the old woman was truthful in everything she had told you, and Ardeth laid awake through the night thinking you ran away because you did not want him. 

~V~

You woke up earlier than usual, making yourself exceptionally presentable before exiting the tent. You walked out prepared to face Ardeth and try to make small talk so he doesn’t feel awkward but he was nowhere to be found. You hated when he did that and he seemed to do that a lot around you. You saw the two guards, who you now knew were Medjay, standing around and talking. When they saw you, they bowed their heads before returning to their conversation. 

You didn’t bother to look for him, going about your day as you normally would have and hoping you could be productive instead of thinking about him. You continued recording mounds of interest in your notebook, walking around the area near the mosque and straying away from the major area to the west of the temple. You never came to this part of the grounds, knowing Professor Maspero had already discovered the Chapel of the goddess Mut. There was no way he would’ve missed anything, he was a thorough man. But in your attempt to not topple over the rocks, you skipped a step and fell on your face on top of what used to be a column in the hypostyle hall of the temple. 

“For god’s sake,” you whispered to yourself, looking for your pencil and dusting off your pants. You cursed under your breath when you saw your pants have ripped at the knee. Resting on the column, your eyes passed through a relief that seemed oddly familiar. Ignoring the pain in your legs, you tried to wipe the sand as much as possible from the relief, eyes widening in surprise when you realized what the relief was.

Frantically standing up, you picked up your notebook to mark where you were on the site before discarding it again, kneeling down and dusting off as much as you could without damaging the column. 

There, engraved in large letters, was a Coptic inscription surrounding a cross that was most likely carved over a hieroglyphs. You almost screamed at the sheer luck, marking the area before running to your tent to grab your tools. The guards saw you running around frantically and were about to ask you when they saw you jumping out of your tent with your small kit. They knew not to disturb you when you were working. 

You returned to the column and brushed away from the column before grabbing a shovel and removing the rubble from around the column. You’ve never had to do this much work in your years of excavations but you didn’t care, this was far more rewarding than anything. You looked like a wild woman by the time you cleared the column, sitting down to sketch as many of the reliefs as you could. The Coptic would have to wait, you had no energy for this today. 

When you returned to your tent, the two guards saw the state of you and asked if anything happened to you. You explained what took place and told them that dinner was on you, giving one of them money to fetch food from the village. The men thanked you and told you they would tell you when the food was here. 

You went back in to bathe, knowing you looked like an absolute mess of a woman and that you should not be in their company in such a manner. You were about to unbutton your shirt when someone walked into the tent.

“That was quick. You must’ve been truly hungry to-” The words died in your throat when you turned around and saw Ardeth standing at the entrance. You said nothing, silently kicking yourself for not returning sooner and cleaning up. The last thing you needed was to look filthy in front of him. But none of this compared to the way he was looking at you, like a predator ready to devour his prey. 

His eyes softened, however, when he saw you the state of your knees and the dried blood on the beige pants. Without thinking much of it, he stepped towards you, kneeling down to inspect your skin.

“What happened?”

“I- there was a…” You couldn’t think of a coherent sentence, the feeling of his warm hands wrapped around your legs too distracting. “I was just walking around and quite literally fell upon a new discovery. Did you know there was an old church built in this temple?” Ardeth ignored your rambling, asking you to sit down on the chair while he fetched a clean cloth and some water. You didn’t dare argue with him, silently taking a seat and rolling up your pants for him. He came back with a small amphora filled with cold water and a cloth. His blood thrummed in his ears as soon as he saw your skin. And although he tried to hide himself, you couldn’t help but smile at the blush that crept across his cheeks. 

Gently, he sat down and held your calves, cursing himself for thinking he could do this without making a fool out of himself. 

“You should be more careful Y/N.” There it was again, your name whispered so softly and causing you shake. Ardeth felt goosebumps erupting on your skin, barely holding back the smile of pride at being the cause of such a reaction. You nodded, not trusting your voice just yet. He was tender in every touch, slowly dabbing the wet cloth around the inflamed area before treating the other knee in a similar fashion. Like the previous night, something took over him and he couldn’t hold himself back, leaning down and kissing your knees, telling you to watch the wounds when you washed.

When Ardeth looked up, he saw the frenzy swimming in your eyes, and he could only smile at you when your lips parted to attempt and thank him. 

“I will wash this for you.” He raised the blood stained cloth and you tried to stop him but he insisted, telling you it was nothing. When he left your tent, you were sure your heart was close to jumping out of your chest. It was such a minor touch but it boiled your blood, knowing what his lips felt like on your skin yet again. Shaking your head, you went to the corner of the tent to wash up quickly, your heart already leaping at the thought of seeing him again. 

But then something broke your trance. God you could not never have the heart to refuse this man if he asked you to have him, but you also couldn’t bear it if you were to tempt him to do something that went against his culture, even religion. Come to think of it, your knowledge of the Medjay’s religious beliefs was minimal. You had spent a long time with them when you were with Evy and Rick, seeing many of them walking into the mosque in their village during the day to pray. But you also saw your two guards walking out of Mass on Sunday morning numerous times, singing some of their hymns as they walked back to their post. 

Either way, you could not possibly be the cause that Ardeth strayed from his beliefs. You had respected him far too much to tempt him or place him in an unpleasant situation with whatever religious leader he knew. You were very much aware of your position, not just as a stranger to the culture and religions but also as a woman that did not care for the rules revolving around physical relationships. It was one of the things that had many men and women of your social circle angry and whisper about. You only had one or two affairs with men but you still valued yourself, just not in the same way that women of your society did. You did not care for the limiting rules set upon you by the Catholic church or English culture. Thankfully, neither did your parents, always telling you to follow your heart and not care for what anyone thought of you. You were only Catholic by name after all, not by belief.  

But you couldn’t apply this advice now. You cared what Ardeth thought of you and you did not want him to think you were “easy,” neither did you want him to see you as a prude. So you reeled back all thoughts of approaching him, wanting to give the two of you some time to test the waters. You took your time in the bath, slowly washing yourself to make sure the wound did not bleed again. It was an hour later when you emerged from the water, wrapping a towel around yourself before rubbing another around your hair. 

But when you emerged from behind the wooden screen, you saw Ardeth walking in to place the urn and cloth near your bed. When he turned around, his body went tense, hands shaking at the sight of you and eyes blinking slowly. Neither of you moved for a few moments. You waited to see what he would do, chest rising and falling when you saw the way his eyes took you in. You saw his adam’s apple bob up before resting back in its place and you thought, ‘20 seconds of courage.’

Throwing the hair towel away, you walked up to him, standing a few inches away from his rigid torso. 

“You are treading on dangerous grounds Y/N.” Ardeth whispered, his nose flaring when the scent of lavender hit his senses. He was losing every ounce of control coursing through his veins and he wished you would step away before he did something he might regret. Slowly, you reached your hands towards him to cup his cheeks, watching as he shut his eyes to control himself. You saw his jaws clenched tightly, fists cracking from how harshly he was holding himself back. Leaning forward, you brushed your lips against his own before pulling back.

“Tell them to leave.” That was all Ardeth needed for confirmation, setting the animal loose and wrapping his arms around you before devouring your lips. His hands fisted in your damp hair, pulling your neck back so he could lay kisses all over your skin. You moaned loudly against him, causing him to clamp his hand on your mouth in fear of the men hearing you. Reluctantly pulling away, Ardeth told you to remain in your spot until he got rid of the two guards. You barely held yourself up when he left you to walk out of the tent. 

You could hear him ordering the two men, and telling them to not return unless they saw Horus. Both men responded their agreement and left, and you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed because they probably knew why their chieftain ordered them so aggressively to leave. 

Ardeth walked back in and tied the knots of the entrance, walking around all sides of the tent to make sure there were no visible windows or holes or even entrances for anyone to disturb the two of you. When he came back to you, he saw you looking at the ground, arms set at your sides shyly.

“You do not owe me anything Y/N, certainly not your body. I can leave now if you wish me to.” It broke his heart to tell you such things but he never wanted to force you to do anything you did not wish to do. When you looked up at him and blinked, he knew your answer. 

And before he could do anything, you were loosening the knot of the towel, letting it fall to the floor to leave you naked to his eyes. Ardeth was having a hard time, in more ways than one, maintaining his nerves. His heart skipped a beat at seeing you bare in front of him and he knew there was no holding back anymore when you looked up at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"يا اللة."

My god.

~VI~

As soon as he whispered those two words, you were on him like the water clinging to your skin, not caring about any consequences to your actions. Ardeth embraced you with as much passion, swallowing your cries when his hands got bolder with every pass over your skin. He was a much more aggressive lover than you thought and perhaps it was due to the sexual tension between the two of you in the past few weeks. 

He pulled away and you noticed that he held a direct gaze, not a playful expression in sight. You whined at the loss of his lips and if he were any other man, Ardeth would have smiled and felt a sense of pride for having this much of an effect on you. But he wasn’t another man. He was a starved man and you were exactly what he yearned for in decades. Ardeth couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this strongly to another woman. The last time he was in a relationship, be it physical or emotional, was so long ago that he couldn’t remember who it was. He was a young boy who thought being with a woman would make him a man but he knew soon after it was not this simple.

His lips sucked at the juncture of your neck and noticed you biting your lips to prevent any sound from escaping past them. His fingers squeezed your waist and brought you closer to him harshly, a part of him knowing he should slow down and cherish every inch of you in a perhaps gentler manner. But you were finally in his arms, and he couldn’t bring himself to hold back, not when you were so responsive to his mean and quick touches. He bit down a little harshly on your clavicle and a part of him wished it was to hear your noises and not to mark you as his, but he would dwell on that later. When you finally moaned against him, he eased the hold he had on your hips and pulled away to take you in. “Do not silence yourself Y/N, your sounds belong to me,” he gasped when you visibly shuddered against him, his hands shaking when he felt your nails dig into his arms. “Sweet music to my ears…”

You didn’t know what came over you but no sooner than his hoarse request were your moans loud enough to be heard from the river. He continued his assault on your flushed skin, nipping and licking every inch of you until you surrendered yourself to his hands. You tugged at his shoulder, fisting your fingers in his robes before reaching for his turban. Loosening the scarves away from his head, you watched as his hair fell down past his cheeks and framed his handsome features. Ardeth looked up and saw the way your eyes gazed at him and he felt relief wash over him because he was not the only one who felt this unbearable need.

You leaned forward and Ardeth thought you were going to kiss him but then you pulled his hair and exposed his neck for you, sucking on his adam’s apple and feeling his shaking hands wrap around your entire body. “My heart aches for you Y/N-” Ardeth couldn’t help the growl that flew past his vocal cords, his hands shaking violently when you continued to bite his throat time and again. He wasn’t sure if he was this sensitive because it has been decades since he was touched in such a manner or if it was because you were the one claiming his body. “It yearns for you when the sun rises each morning and- ahhh by the gods woman...and craves you when it sets past the Nile.”

If it were any other woman, Ardeth was sure she would be turned off by his words. They weren’t seductive in any way, but he knew you. He knew your preferences, your likes and dislikes, perhaps already understood what you desired after even though he has not been an hour in your bed. Somehow, however, he sensed your appreciation for the sensual and romantic words he uttered and he continued to test both his resolve and yours with every affection he emoted. And he was right to think so because within minutes, he had your body willing and ready for him. You should have expected him to have such a sinful tongue and you rubbed your thighs when Ardeth moaned shamelessly at your equally-aggressive hands. He was more vocal than any of your previous lovers and you found that you enjoyed it immensely.  

“Ardeth, please just...take these off. I need to feel your skin. I want to touch you, kiss you, look at every inch of you.” Ardeth smiled at your lack of patience, not warning you as he leaned down and carried you to the bed. He laid you down gently before standing over you, shaking his head when he saw the way you grabbed at your breasts to seduce him.

“You are a vixen, the most beautiful my eyes have seen.” Ardeth licked his lips as he looked you over, undoing his robes slowly to fill his mind’s eye with you. You arched your back and moaned when you saw his bare skin through the robes, not caring that you were being forward when you grabbed his robes and pulled him towards you. Ardeth stepped confusingly towards you, hissing when he felt your hands palm him through the black material.

“Y/N, I- I thought your hand would calm this heat I feel for you, but- oh gods, ahhh you- you have done little to quench this fire.” His words went straight to your core and you began to pull at the clothes until they pooled at his feet. Before he could step out of them, you were leaning forward and kissing his hard member, hands kneading and teasing the base until he was panting mess above you.

“Ahhh gods, my love you’re- you are truly talented.” Ardeth tries his hardest to focus on your blissed-out expression but he fails as soon as he feels the palm of your hand close around the tip of his erection. He manages to open his eyes and look down just in time to see you lick the protruding vein ending right below the head and he almost loses himself right then and there. As much as it pains him, he fists his hand in your hair and pulls you off of him before pushing you down on your bed and standing once more. He holds a dangerous and warning gaze and you understand why he silently asks you to not touch him again. You shamelessly look at him as he moves around, watching the way his muscles flex whenever he pulls an article of clothing off aggressively. 

You almost giggle at how quick he is but you hold back, afraid of making him think you are laughing at him. His mind freezes when he stands up and turns to you, unable to look away from where your fingers are. Ardeth raises a curious eyebrow, slowly kneeling down on the bed before approaching you like a lion waiting to devour his prey at the proper time. He is almost angry at the way your eyes challenge him but he chooses to think past the brave aura, gently parting your thighs wider so he could take a better look at the motion of your fingers. He growls, silently chuckling when he sees your legs shake at the sound. You stop your actions altogether and suddenly realize just how dry your mouth is.

“Do not stop on my account Y/N,” Ardeth’s voice is deeper than normal and you whine at his self-control. You had thought he would take you as soon as his guards left but he proved to be a more patient man than you thought. “Ardeth please, please-” You stop breathing when he leans down between your parted thighs, licking your navel and blowing air on the wet skin until you reach for him. Slowly descending down your body, Ardeth holds your gaze and squeezes your buttocks before whispering against your heat, “unless you want me to stop, you will be patient. Remove your hands.” You obey him instantly, letting go of his shoulders before pulling on the bed sheets violently to have some semblance of control.

He hums in approval and returns to the task at hand. A part of him wished he would be gentleman-like with you, but his mind was losing the last bit of control and he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. Shutting his eyes, he leaned down and licked your core once, twice to open you up for him. As soon as you threw your head back in pleasure, he did what his mind dreamed of doing to you for months, years even. Not caring for how filthy it must have looked, let alone sounded, Ardeth poked your wet lips with his nose and took a long whiff of your scent, groaning when the sweet smell swept straight to his groin. Your eyes shot open and glanced down at him immediately, gasping at the obscenity of his actions. Ardeth was afraid he scared you but when he turned his attention back to your heat, he saw proof of your arousal leaking down your thighs.

He smiled and glanced back at you, maintaining eye contact as he licked you dry. You were embarrassed but for a moment, moaning his name over and over again as he pleasured you until you could no longer feel anything but him. 

“Ardeth, ahhh pl-please Ardeth I-” he didn’t let you finish, sucking on your wet core vigorously before pushing down on your lower abdomen to keep you still for him. As soon as you felt his fingers part your sensitive core, your hands fisted in his long locks and pulled on it. You had expected him to cease his actions or ask you to be patient again but the opposite occurred. Ardeth coated his fingers with your pleasure before pushing them against you, exploring your body with his quick digits while he continued to nip and lick at the protruding bundle of nerves. He was slowly driving you mad with his ministrations and you managed to keep whatever control remained because the last thing you needed was for the whole village to know what is transpiring in your tent. 

But then he curled his fingers inside you and increased pressure once, twice, three times until he felt your back arch off the bed. You couldn’t hold back anymore, clenching around his fingers as he brought you to the utmost pleasure and when you begged him to stop, he refused, wanting to coax another petite mort out of you before he pulled away. Ardeth raised himself just in time to see you let go once more, his eyes taking in your features before slowly descending down your body. Your skin was glistening with sweat, chest rising and falling rapidly with every breath you took and Ardeth almost lost his mind when he saw how perky and flushed your breasts were. When he saw how spent you looked, he pushed his fingers inside you one last time before taking them out and rubbing your thighs to soothe you. You fell back onto the bed, hair disheveled and lips parted from how hard you were breathing. As soon as you managed to look at him, Ardeth took this chance and licked his fingers dry before slowly ascending your body.

He left a trail of kisses on your skin, occasionally nipping an area he found desirable and you smiled when he came face to face with your breasts. You couldn’t hold back the scandalous moan that emanated when he leaned down and took a pert nipple between his teeth, fondling the other until you felt pleasure from the pain of his touches. 

“I- I’m sensitive there Ardeth,” your attempt at warning him did little to nothing, only edging him further in his actions until you were a mess beneath him again. “All the more reason to devour you Y/N. You torment me with your moans. Your whispers of my name...in the name of the ogdoad, forgive me. Do not reproach me for losing myself in your beauty. If you choose to deny me this, then send me away this instance for I cannot...will not hold back any longer.” You were overcome with warmth at the intensity of his words, knowing it must be hard for him to say such words given the nature of his quiet personality, let alone the position he was in. “You fill me with desire from head to foot Y/N. My love shall never be veiled again.” He continued his assault on your breasts and you continued praying his name when you felt his shaft leaking on your belly. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore, but you were absolutely certain of one thing: Ardeth was the last man you would allow in your bed because you knew in your heart that no one else was capable of loving you as much as he does, not just physically, but emotionally. 

“I have wanted you for so long, and I- ahhh god your tongue drips of sin, and I pleasured myself at night, imagining how you would touch me, h-how your skin would feel against mine, how rough you would be when you lose control, and-” you took a deep breath, holding back what you wanted to say for fear of making him think you were ill-mannered. But he has not once held back from you this night. As a matter of fact, Ardeth has done the opposite, voicing his desires proudly before stealing orgasm after another from you. You found courage through his actions and whispered to him what you have wanted for so long. “And I dreamed of feeling you so deep inside me, giving you pleasure with avidity until you stilled my torments.” You wrapped your legs around him, not giving him a chance to contemplate on your actions before gyrating your hips into his verge until you felt him rub against your damp core. 

Ardeth shuddered in your arms, his surprise turning into firm touches as he wrapped one arm around your back while the other hand smoothed down your hips. He leaned down and captured your lips in a hungry kiss, his hand pushing your lower back into him to control the motion of your hips. He could feel himself nestled between your thighs, moaning and sucking on your tongue when he sensed how dripping wet you were for him.

“You drive me mad woman,” Ardeth smiled against your mouth before reaching up and pulling on your hair to get more access to your neck. He bit down wherever he could as he felt your desire drench his thighs. You would tell him later that you preferred nothing more than feeling his chest slide against yours, not because of how toned and muscular it was but because of how rough it was to the touch. The friction his chest hair caused was painful yet it ignited a fire within you instantaneously. 

“Please, please just-”

“What do you need Y/N, I will give you anything.” Ardeth was breathing just as harshly as you, if not more. He gazed into your eyes, watching the brewing storm erupt as he rolled his hips against you. You dug your nails into his back, the other holding onto his hair when you couldn’t take it any longer.

“I need you, Ardeth, I need you now. Please, I- I burn for you… need to embrace you,” and for good measure, you stretched your hand between your bodies, grabbing his painfully hard member and rubbing it between your parted lips. “Let me embrace you, let me quench this radiating fire.” You pronounced each word with a rough pass over your core and Ardeth prayed your name until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed your wrist aggressively, slamming it above your head and pushing you down until he felt your submission and before you could whine again, he was spitting in his hand, proud of the response he received from you at the sudden and audacious action. He stroked himself a few times before lining himself up against you, slowly pushing past your slit into your heat until he felt completely engulfed by your silky walls. You ceased to breathe as you felt the intrusion reach deeper, refusing to tell him to stop because even though he was filling you to the hilt, you still craved him. 

Ardeth could barely hold himself above you, his arms threatening to give out beneath him from the immense pleasure. He wasn’t sure if you were purposely clenching violently around him or not, but all he knew was that he has never felt such satisfaction in his life. And he silently cursed you for feeling so tight and inviting because he knew very well no other woman would compare to you. Neither in your intellect and wittiness, nor your beauty and perfection. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought because he never thought he would have the neural capacity to applaud your brilliance when he was this deep inside you. 

You didn’t know why he was laughing and you hoped it wasn’t because you didn’t live up to his expectations. You loosened your hold on him and he noticed, gazing down at you and seeing the inquisitive expression you held. Brushing your hair aside, he refused to look anywhere but your doe-like orbs as he soothed the slight hint of panic away from your skin.

“You have, without a doubt, utterly ruined all women for me Y/N,” Ardeth claimed shamelessly before pulling himself out, and refusing to move until he made sure you were content. When he saw you release your breath and throw your head back, he thrust back in a little vigorously than intended. Before he could apologize for his lack of patience, he heard you faintly whispering for him.

“Ardeth, d-don’t hold back. Take your pleasure, please. I- I want you to ruin me...ahh god, want you to brand my soul.” You pulled him down to you, kissing the corner of his mouth and licking his jaw, enticing him until he lost all self-control and took from you what you dreamed of giving him ever since you laid eyes on him in the desert long ago. At your request, Ardeth lost himself, moving in and out between your thighs without remorse. He hummed against the juncture of your neck, the grip he held on your hair getting tighter with every passing minute. You turned your head to the side, sighing and moaning his name as he roughly drove himself into you. 

You bit his wrist, causing him to lose his balance for a moment before growling and thrusting into you. “If- ahhh gods, if one time will not suffice to quench your fire, I shall do it again to satisfy you. You have bewitched me body and soul Y/N, m nb pt I surrender myself to you.” You felt a sudden flare of lightning strike across your abdomen as soon as he spoke in his native tongue, unintentionally clenching harder around him and causing him to scream into the night air. Even though he spoke little in his language, you couldn’t help but imagine him continue to do so as he brought you to the utmost pleasure. Ardeth noticed your responsiveness to his words and he felt pride deep in his lungs at the thought of knowing he was the cause of such a reaction. 

His pace began to falter, knowing very well he could not last any longer because of how perfect and velvety you felt around him. He set a punishing pace nonetheless, wanting to feel you fall over the edge with him. Taking hold of your chin, he turned you to face him before claiming your mouth again, not caring that he might draw some blood from his aggressive actions. The only sounds heard in the tent were your moans, and his skin slapping against your own. It drove him mad hearing your arousal seep down your thighs with every pass of his verge past your slit. 

“sttyt nṯr ꜥꜣ, come with me, please Y/N, come for me. Now!” For god knows what time that night, Ardeth bit down on your skin, somehow managing to thrust into you harder than before until you couldn’t control your own body. He felt your orgasm before you had the chance to tell him, shuddering against you as he released himself deep inside you. You arched your back against him as waves of pleasure coursed through your body, the intensity of your gratification terrifying your heart. You never realized you were capable of feeling such things and yet here you were, in the arms of the man you never thought you could get close to until a few hours ago.

As you opened your eyes, you saw dilated pupils staring right back at you. It seemed comical that you felt naked under his potent gaze and actually attempted to cover yourself. His grip on you hardened, silently telling you to never attempt such a thing again.

“What have you done to me woman? Not even I had any control over myself.” He whispered before smiling and leaning down to kiss you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you, feeling the muscles of his back shift under your touch as he moved to pull himself out of you. Ardeth fell to the side, reaching for the covers before bringing you to him. You laid beneath his neck, pushing your thighs around his legs and chuckling when he warned you with a huff. Ardeth tried his hardest to think of anything but your hard nipples teasing his chest and he realized he could never be able to not think of you as long as you were in his embrace.

~VII~

“This is not the time, and perhaps I should have inquired before...this...but I wanted to apologize if I caused you to do or say anything against your ways.” There was no other manner you could state what you wanted to tell him and you hoped he wouldn’t be offended by your boldness. You sighed when you heard him chuckle for a second, turning your gaze to him to study his facial expression.

“The chieftain of the Medjay is seldom a follower of any religion besides the old one. As far as I know, he can only belong to the old traditions and it is not our custom to hold such things as taboo before marriage. If anything, it is I who should apologize for being incapable of stopping this before it escalated.” He played with your hair, and you couldn’t help but shiver at the seriousness of his voice. 

“Why?”

“You often wear a cross around your neck and I could only assume you are Christian.”

“I was raised one but never believed in any of it. There are too many similarities between the Ancient Religion and Christianity, and do not tell my family any of this, but I genuinely believe Christianity stole its stories and beliefs from your religion. If I were to ever follow a tradition, it would be the Ancient Egyptian one. Horus knows I swear by his name all the time.” You never expected to hear Ardeth laugh this loudly but he did so and you couldn’t look away from the beautiful expression he held. The sound was so pure you almost begged him to do it again. Both of you remained quiet for a few minutes, and he occasionally smiled when you continued to draw patterns on his chest. 

After a while, Ardeth broke the silence and surprised you yet again. “I have spent many nights imagining what it would feel like to have you naked and willing in my arms, and now that I am here, I cannot fathom how divine you are.” You blushed under his gaze and Ardeth knew he would do everything in his power to see that blush creep down your breasts once more.

“bı͗ꜣyt.ı͗, my heart belongs to you.” You continued to stare at him, and he sighed in relief when you graced him with a shy smile. Slowly, you sat up and cupped his cheek, tracing the hieroglyphs on his handsome features before touching each one with your lips. You could feel him smiling against your neck and sighed when his grip tightened around your waist. 

“And mine is yours, wbnnı͗.ı͗.” Ardeth couldn’t help himself, grabbing your neck and pushing you down to kiss you before wrapping his arms around you to keep you as close to him as possible. You laid your head back on his chest and shut your eyes, the feeling of tranquility slowly washing over you as you focused on the beat of his heart. Finally, since decades, Ardeth felt content, knowing he would never allow himself to embrace another woman and would fight an entire army before he lets another man touch you. You remained in each other’s arms for the duration of the night, letting the sounds of the Nile lull you into a deep sleep, knowing that everything was, at long last, as it should be. 

Tagging some people who expressed excitement at the idea of this fic:

@feelmyroarrrr @thorodinsvn @oplunket16 @vvigilantes @the-rookie-97  @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @buckylokihoes @redqueen1221 @kuronekotsiigan @sai-kida134 @wonderwolfstrash @commissioner23 @valeks-princess @libbymouse @taliaalghuldeservesbetter @ruby-white-rabbit​ @jamdropx35​ @dramadreamer14​ @tnupsweetpie​ @jessicahoppes @la--petit--croissant @kandomeresbitch​ @pleasantdreamqueen​

[whetstonefires]

Hi Whetstonefire. I have a question about the comic where Nightwing cheats on Starfire with Barbara: What happens directly after that? Does Starfire find out that Nightwing cheated on her? And, if so, how does she react? I've read online that (according to Marv Wolfman) Starfire is the opposite of everything Batman taught Nightwing to be and that Batman taught Nightwing to be repressed and cold. What did Nightwing contribute (emotionally) to the relationship between him and Starfire? (Cont.)

(Cont.) From what I can tell, from online, Nightwing was adamant about standards of mercy and monogamy - how do you think, if Starfire were to be written as her own character and not written around Nightwing and his emotional needs, she would handle and react to that? (This bit is an FYI for other readers: this is just speculation, not hate. Sorry about that.) Sorry about the questions! Have a nice day! 

Okay there are so many separate questions packed in here! I may miss some of them lol and I do not want to put in the hours it would take to produce an orderly response to all this, so this post is going to be a mess.

Initial query and important point: the cheating story was out of continuity. Like, literally, not just by ‘being rejected by the fanbase,’ it was just this weird retcon oneshot that seems to have been some sort of fuck-you to Nightwing or his fans or something. So no, it had no in-setting fallout lol. It, in more ways than most comics, didn't exactly happen.

It was just this weird thing where Dick hooks up with Babs before giving her a wedding invitation, which is both out of character for him in general and out of step with where he was leading up to the wedding--he was desperate to get married so they could have some Normal Stable Adulthood Happiness; the choice to recharacterize him as a fuckboy who regards it as a loss of freedom isn’t congruent, on much more than the level of principle.

As far as how Kori would feel about it, if she had learned...that is very hard to say. Apart from how it would require her to reinterpret everything about where their relationship stood at that point, the data is very unclear, and I don’t even have all of it. Gonna back up to cover some of the rest of the ask, get some context here.

So this actually brings up two of my biggest gripes with Wolfman’s NTT--weird Kori characterization and the weirdly negative interpretation of Batman as parent that backwashed heavily into other titles and influenced the character for the worse, in ways we're very much still dealing with today. 😩

The latter is pretty self-explanatory, though Wolfman’s take that the main thing Bruce taught Dick was repression does shed light on some writing choices and make others funnier. But Kori. Oh my lands.

So, item one, I wouldn't say that Kori is overall opposite Bruce, or even of his philosophy? There are just some very major points of opposition. She isn’t emotionally buttoned-down like at all, especially about positive feelings, although considered realistically with all the bullshit they’ve piled into her backstory she absolutely leans on repression to cope and stay positive, which makes her a lot like Dick actually.

To an extent, she was clearly written around foiling Dick’s Batman-derived traits in the same way that Robin was written to foil Batman, bright and glad and aerial. A Flamebird to his Nightwing in theme if not in name.

You could do some interesting stuff with that, and the bildungsroman aspects of this period of Dick’s life, like he has two roads forward in terms of how he’s going to define ‘adulthood’--does it necessarily require becoming more like his mentor-father, for good and ill, or can he make Kori in part a destination, as it were, and create an adult self that is derived from who he has always been as well as the man he’s modeled himself after?

To an extent I think this even was one of the things going on in ntt but like. Only a little bit.

(Given how much like Bruce Babs is in most of the ways Kori isn’t, especially once she’s Oracle, you could make a case for her as love interest being like. Symbolic of his not being in a rebellious phase? That gets weird and oedipal really fast tho lol.)

Okay stepping down one meta level lol, the thing about answering the 'what would kori' question here is that her character is deeply bound up in her culture, about which we are told and shown a great many contradictory things. Any attempt to read her as an independent character has to tackle not only the gender stuff you allude to and these inconsistencies, but how much of the sheer mess of her is rooted in racism.

'Fantastic' racism, technically, because Tamaraneans aren't real, but the 'taming the savage' narrative that kept surfacing between them and the language used in reference to it is just. The existing racism of presumably the writers, placed in Dick's mouth, and it's super gross. I hate it so much.

(I had a faint hope when they cast her for live action it was with a deliberate intent to directly tackle and better that history, but lollllllll nah. At least they didn’t double down in it tho! Can you imagine, with a black actress, in this day and age....)

So to predict and comprehend Kori, you have to make a lot of calls about Tamaran as a civilization. I like to slightly privilege stuff established earlier if there's no good reason not to, so while much is made over time of her inappropriate rage and the violence she was raised to normalize, I think what she says in her first appearance is good to keep in mind: in her culture, kindness is for friends and cruelty is for enemies. She doesn't understand why the Titans seem to have this backwards.

Kori is not a merciless person. She’s very empathetic, as a rule. With people she loves, she is self-destructively forgiving. That's not a trait only Dick benefits from--her family keeps betraying her in new exciting ways, and she keeps letting them.

Her arc of growing away from that habit is however greatly crippled by centering Dick in the narrative and by the awful 'civilizing' overtones that keep coming into it. When she comes back after the 1986 breakup, still married to Karras, she brings with her a commitment to doing things the Earth way--to eschew lethal force as more than a compromise with her friends’ values, but as a deliberate choice.

This deserved a lot more space and time than it got, and the fact that it didn’t get it is only somewhat due to her being subordinated to Dick and to general writing fail; a lot of it’s just the team book problems of everything happening to everybody all at once.

I mean, Dick’s journey later on to deciding he loves her enough to date her even though she’s married and it’s technically against his principles was packed into this absolutely heinous issue where he was inspired by a woman refusing to separate from her husband who’d just threatened to kill her and their kid with a knife, until being stopped by Nightwing. Because he’s apologizing for what he did.

This is his inspiration for accepting Kori’s marital status! It’s supposed to be heartwarming, as far as I can tell! Not heavyhanded messaging that this is a self-destructive terrible choice in which Kori will inevitably harm him somehow! This issue is pro ‘consensual open relationships under certain circumstances’ and also ‘giving abusers another chance’ as expressions of love. Welcome to the 80s ig.

(Notable is that the wife in this issue was black and the husband and son both looked very white, so it’s probably her stepkid and she probably wouldn’t get to keep him if they separated; this is not even vaguely treated as a factor.)

Point is, everyone was getting too little space to actually go through the amount of development they were getting, and it was clumsily handled; it’s not just her.

In an overlapping period Gar processed his issues with his adoptive father with whom he constantly fought and their shared trauma over the rest of their family (the Doom Patrol) having died violently not long ago via a batshit several-issue storyline where Mento went crazy, created supermutants, and abusively mind-controlled them to attack the Titans. It is literally all like this.

Back to the infidelity thing, now. So much to unpack. So like I mentioned above, their first big breakup, while partially driven by Dick’s existing conflicted feelings about their different ideas about things like ‘killing in battle’ and ‘her identity and loyalties being tied up with her home planet,’ is explicitly over different takes on monogamy.

When Dick is breaking up with her, Kori makes it clear she thinks it’s totally reasonable to have both a husband and a love, since Karras also has someone he loves and they’re both fine with it, but the story doesn't really explain how nonmonogamy works on Tamaran, or even if it's practiced outside the context of political marriage. They do do a sort of...soulbond fusion dance...thing, as part of the ceremony, so marriage is definitely serious business. There are so many levels of cultural difference that get poor to no development.

But to return to the weird ooc retcon cheating story: because of this context, no matter what her personal norms are, Dick specifically casually sleeping with someone else would be something for Kori to be mad about, because of the hypocrisy.

Then there’s the Mirage Incident, which I haven’t read through properly and which was very poorly handled by the writers. Kori is upset about Dick having slept with someone impersonating her and there’s a general vibe of this being treated by Dick’s social circle as unfaithfulness even though he was in fact sexually violated by deceit; it famously sucks.

We still don’t learn a lot here about Kori’s ideas about monogamy, from what I have seen, because her focus is mostly on feeling like Dick doesn’t care about her enough or in the right way since he couldn’t tell the difference. Which is an understandable feeling, even if it’s not an appropriate reaction to have at him at this time.

What Nightwing contributed emotionally........hm. This is a mess, honestly; he was all over the map, and not just because of having Brother Blood in his head. I cannot speak definitively on this, it’s too inconsistent.

For most of their relationship, Kori was the more intensely invested one, the one to initiate and the one who was shown at length to be excited to come home at the end of the day to their shared apartment because her boyfriend was there to see and talk to. If we set aside his more egregious white male bullshit, Dick was pretty emotionally available most of the time, though? They were cute.

Since they split up a lot of ink has been spilled making him less into her in retrospect, but he was pretty invested--leaving her coincided with mental breakdowns both times, and it wasn’t even mostly because she was doing his emotional processing for him, because she wasn’t, although it’s fair to say he often fell into using the relationship as an emotional crutch. Kori was definitely doing the same thing though so...it wasn’t the most balanced relationship in fiction history, but apart from slight codependency and the racism, it was decent enough.

She gets more evenhanded development than most superhero love interests, honestly, because she was costarring in a team book. She had her own storylines. She had other friends.

Mostly both of them just needed some space to finish growing up and stop being retraumatized long enough to process some of the existing trauma better, and I think they could have gone on being good for each other for a long time.

[lovelyirony]

if you’re taking prompts uhh “the darkness encroaches (you keep it at bay)” idk for who maybe tony?

Tony, for one thing, did not like the fact he was apparently part of a long line of magic-users. 

His mom had always been tight-lipped about her own family history, even after she left dad and they moved back to New York. 

Tony had asked one time about her family. They had to talk about family history in one of his classes, and there was no way in hell that he wanted to talk about Howard in any capacity that was even neutral. (After all for his debate class, he was talking about how much he sucked in terms of universal weaponry policy.) 

Mom had given him a sharp look from the kitchen counter, and even though she was wearing rubber gloves and her hair was pushed back by a bandana that had little Mickey Mouse print on it, she still looked terrifying. 

“They’re not worth mentioning, Tony. Make something up.” 

“Geez, okay. Touchy subject...” 

“Not touchy. Just not worth the time.” 

Tony didn’t make a comment after that, because in all honesty he and his mom have never been excellent liars to each other, and this time is no exception. 

He does make up his family history. He knows his family is probably from Italy somewhere, they moved in...1923? Yeah, that sounds good. And he’s named after an uncle. 

(He isn’t.) 

Tony doesn’t ask his mom again because he knows that she won’t give in or break down to answer his questions, and there’s probably good reason why he doesn’t know. 

- 

Oh, there’s a reason alright. 

- 

He likes science. He likes understanding things. In his (correct) opinion, magic is just science that no one understands yet. Everything has an explanation. 

Well. 

He accidentally set an asshole’s Mustang on fire. 

To be fair, he was an asshole. He had been talking over the professor during every single slide in the lecture presentation for his lecture, and Tony had just about yelled in frustration. 

So instead as he saw the guy rev his engine for his stupid fucking car and make a whole big scene about how he had a Mustang, how fucking cool is that you absolute shit-heel of a person-

Fire. 

Nothing serious, but Tony knows he did it. 

He could feel how his hands twitched, how something came to him and from him. Something not normal. 

Or at least if it was normal, health class never came close to covering it. 

- 

But it’s a one-time thing, he thinks. He’s not really doing anything else, so maybe it only happens when he’s really mad? That’s probably it. That has to be it. 

Except the ramen that he likes at the grocery store is on the top shelf, and Rhodey wandered off to get actual food, and so he can’t reach it because he’s not a freak who is like 6′4″. 

It floats. 

It fucking floats. 

The sweet-chili-ramen floats into his cart and Rhodey sees it, and he stares. 

"Either I took an edible and it finally kicked in, or you just did something that definitely isn’t supposed to happen.” 

“Maybe the latter,” Tony says faintly. 

“Oh,” Rhodey says. “Do you think we have time to get that queso you wanted, or do we have to pay for the groceries and go to the car to process?” 

“Queso over my mental state,” Tony responds automatically. “Let’s go.” 

-

They eat in silence when they get to their apartment, and they don’t say anything for about ten minutes. 

“So. Do you think you can fly on a broomstick?” 

“What? No!” Tony exclaimed, but pausing. “Well, I’ve never tried before, so...” 

“Then we have to try. For science reasons,” Rhodey says. “Where the fuck do we get a broomstick?” 

So...

As it turns out, you can’t really get a traditional broomstick, so they went to the store and bought a mop. 

“They have a mop, but not a broomstick?” 

“To be fair, it is April.” 

“Why does that matter?” 

“Well,” Rhodey starts to explain, “April showers bring May flowers, but also wet boots into the hallway. Also, it’s not your holiday yet.” 

“Well yeah, it’s not May yet.” 

“I didn’t mean your birthday, dipshit. I meant your holiday.” 

“What the fuck is my holiday?” Tony demands. “No one has a ‘celebrate Tony Stark’ day in their calendars, as far as I or my ego knows, so-” 

He stops. 

“Oh, you little shit.” 

“I’m not little,” Rhodey brags. “I’m taller than you.” 

“For now.” 

“For permanence!” 

“I’ll make you pay for this broomstick with the last ten dollars in your checking account.” 

“Then I’ll tell Jarvis!” 

“Damn your need to know my family,” Tony curses. “Fine.” 

- 

Tony can’t fucking fly on a fucking mop. 

- 

One broken arm later and a phone call to his mother later, Maria Carbonell is sitting on her son’s dormitory mattress and wondering just why the hell he lied to her about how he broke his arm. 

Here was her son’s lie: 

“Um. I broke my arm because dinner sucked.” 

A.) There was no follow up. 

B.) Her son is bad at lying as she is. 

Unfortunately, she did not announce her arrival, and so she gets Tony’s roommate opening the door and screaming that the liquor is in the second cabinet from the left. 

Maria raises one eyebrow. 

“Did Tony at least pick out good wine?” 

“Uh...you’re Tony’s mom?” 

“Yes.” 

“I didn’t think you were coming to visit until move-out.” 

“I...we had an interesting conversation. You wouldn’t happen to know why Tony actually broke his arm, would you?” 

“Um...no.” 

(Rhodey is also a bad liar.) 

- 

Tony gets home about ten minutes later and promptly says: 

“Oh fuck.” 

“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mom asks, already sipping delicately on her glass of water. 

“Um...move-out isn’t for another month.” 

“I know. But you lied to your dear mother.” 

“How did you know?” 

“You can never hide anything from your mom, and your excuse needed work, honey,” Maria answers. “So. How did you break your arm?” 

Tony sighs. 

“Promise me you won’t laugh. And don’t tell Jarvis.” 

“What did you....what?” 

- 

The mop. 

Maria doesn’t laugh at first, at least until she sees the pictures that Rhodey took and chuckles. 

“You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!” 

“What were you doing? And why?” she asks, laughing. Tony rubs the back of his neck nervously. 

“Um, well...funny story...” 

- 

Maria should have known that her son would have her...abilities. But she had hoped that if he had never known the family, had never known what she could do, that maybe...maybe they wouldn’t come. 

“So what you’re telling me,” Tony says, nostrils flaring, “is that there’s magic?” 

“Yes,” Maria says. “And what we deal with specifically is good magic.” 

“Oh, so I could’ve put Glinda the Good Witch on my family tree project,” Tony says sarcastically. 

Maria scowls. 

“Don’t sass me, Tony. I did it for your own good.” 

“I set a car on fire!” 

“Well, what kind of car was it?!” 

“A Mustang!” 

“Then that makes sense!” Maria says. “Your father drove one, and we all know how that turned out!” 

Tony blinks for a moment. 

And then laughs. 

Maria starts laughing too, until they’re both giggling in the apartment, and Tony tells her about the grocery store incident. 

- 

Mom tells him, essentially, that they have a job: defend from the darkness. She doesn’t say if the darkness is someone or a group or a concept. She just says that she’ll send him some of the spell-books (fucking spell-books!) over and talk about how emotions and different hand motions can affect how spells go. 

“So, why never the family? I mean, you could’ve told me about them and then just not mentioned the magic portion,” Tony asks when he’s moved back into their house, and has grilled Mom on just about every single page in the book. 

“Because as much as your father is a terrible person, you’re still like him in some aspects,” Maria says. “And you are stubborn and don’t let information go. You want to know how everything works, and that includes family. You would’ve been wreaking havoc since you were eight.” 

“I was already wreaking havoc when I was eight,” Tony whines. “But, this also raises the question of when are we doing a family reunion?” 

She stops, looking at him. 

“They weren’t exactly pleased when I married a millionaire.” 

“Not even when he became a billionaire and you got half his fortune?” Tony teases. 

“Not even then,” she answers. “I have a...complicated relationship with magic.” 

“As in, you don’t use it.” 

“Correct,” she answers. “You don’t need magic in your life, and quite often, it gets you in more trouble than you anticipate.” 

“Are you going to give me a ‘magic has consequences’ speech?” 

Maria laughs. 

“No. Magic, as far as I know, doesn’t really have consequences. The actions you do have consequences. You could blast up an entire country and as long as you don’t get caught, no consequences other than what you do to yourself.” 

“Like having guilt?” 

“Like having guilt. But enough about that, it’ll make you feel weird for a week if you keep thinking about it. I want you to light candles from two feet away.” 

“Of course I can do that,” Tony scoffs. 

“Sure you can.” 

-

Tony also sets the curtains on fire! 

- 

Maria realizes that her son is perhaps just a tad (okay, a lot) more powerful than she was (and is). 

So, she regrettably calls her mother. 

- 

Nonna Carbonell is a very imposing figure. A woman who is four-foot-eight and about seven-feet-tall in terms of personality, and dresses only in questionable 1970s-print dresses. 

“Ah, so you finally come back home, Maria. And you brought your boy! Who I only see twice in the magazines!” 

“You know exactly why I didn’t come back, Mama,” Maria says, rolling her eyes. “But enough about that. You need to teach Tony.” 

“Antonio,” Mama says, grinning at him and pinching his cheeks. “Ah, so good to see you have the Carbonell nose, your father was ugly as a mule.” 

Tony pointedly does not say that everyone else seems to think that he is the spitting image of his father, but...

His mom and Nonna do not get along, if family dinner is anything to go by. Tony’s lucky that his mom got him at least some Italian lessons so he’s not completely lost with all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins. 

He sees pots and pans coming off the shelves themselves. Ladles and knifes dance out of the drawers. 

His baby cousin-Geraldine, who is only two-is waving her fingers lackadaisically, and in what seems to be no effort, her bottle of juice is off of the counter. 

Great. A two year old is better at magic than he is. 

- 

Nonna is a great teacher, who also happens to terrify Tony with how much she can do. 

“You’re important,” she grins. “You have more power than your mother, thank God.” 

“Why thank god?” Tony asks. 

“You always thank God, Tonio,” Nonna says, waving the curtains shut. “Now, let’s see you get the flour off the shelf.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get, like, a salt shaker?” 

“If you spill the salt shaker we get the devil!” Nonna declares. “Flour is better.” 

It is not better. It turns Nonna into a ghost, and Tony has to spend ages dusting it off his black jeans. 

“Maybe pepper shaker next time,” she says weakly.  

- 

Tony does call Rhodey. He was supposed to go on a road trip to see him, and now he’s in Italy learning how to fling flour sacks across the kitchen at his idiot Uncle Theo. 

“How goes your magic training you fucking nerd?” 

“Literally I call you, and that’s how you greet me?” 

“I told my DnD group that you moved to Italy to play on a campaign for a worldwide championship.” 

“You are quite literally the worst friend ever.” 

“False, because when I moved out I found your favorite Black Sabbath shirt and am saving it for when you move back. Please tell me you’re moving back so I can plan friendships accordingly.” 

“I’ll be back. Who knows, I might be able to help with some lifting.” 

“I still don’t trust your noodle arms, no matter how much ‘magic’ you have now.” 

“Hey! They’re not noodles!” 

“Says you, noodle-arm boy.” 

“I’m going to curse you into a toad.” 

“There’s no way you can do that,” Rhodey says, laughing. “I guarantee you that you wouldn’t be able to turn me back.” 

“And then we’d have so much more space in the apartment, darling.” 

“But then I wouldn’t have to pay rent! Huzzah! And I wouldn’t have to do my stupid business classes!” 

Tony laughs. 

“I’ve missed talking to you, Rhodey. I can’t wait until I get to come home again.” 

“Me too,” he responds. Tony can practically feel his smile through the phone. 

There’s yelling that Rhodey can hear, something about “come back here you American bastard and learn how to knit with magic!” and a hurried “goodbye, love you” from Tony. 

- 

Tony does get good at magic. He gets very good. 

It’s terrifying to Maria, really. 

Darkness has always existed, and it will always exist. Their family exists as a way to keep it balanced, and Tony...

He plays with magic as if he’s always known it, now. He can do things that not even the older family can do. He has meshed magic with mechanics, and he’s started on ideas that Maria was quite sure no one had thought of. 

- 

And then, of course, family does what family does best: 

They tell you things you should’ve known about three months earlier. 

-

With most families, the thing that they don’t tell you is something like “oh, Aunt Margaret made a terrible choice in husbands again.” Or perhaps “did you see his tattoo? Who in their right mind gets a Sonic the Hedgehog tattoo on their chest?” 

- 

With this family, it is the fact that darkness is coming within the next four years, and Tony is probably their only chance. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Maria hisses at her sister. 

“Because you moved to America!” Gia hisses right back. “We can’t afford to collect call every single time we had trouble.” 

“You couldn’t tell me that the darkness is approaching way sooner than we expected?! Because what, you didn’t want to pay for a phone call!” 

“To be fair, Nonna made that decision,” Enzo says. “She thought we could handle it. And we can! We can!” 

“Oh sure, that’s why Nonna told me that my son is your only chance,” Maria says, dry tone to her voice. “God, I need wine...” 

“Everyone needs wine, it’s practically a requirement,” Gia says. “Don’t worry. Things will work themselves out.” 

“But will it work out for us?” Maria asks. “I don’t want to be the modern model for the next pietà someone wants to make...” 

- 

Tony, unfortunately, is his mother’s son and has listened in on every single conversation that’s ever been had in their house. Here are three things that he has learned: 

1.) Apparently, his mother used to bake the best bread, and they forgot to write and ask her for the recipe, and they also didn’t call her. 

2.) He’s the last hope for everyone of existing with good things, and no one’s sure how to beat the darkness and he has no clue how to. 

3.) Apparently his grandfather (named Basil, of all names) could out-drink anyone and had publicly threatened at least six government officials just because he wanted to see if he could. 

- 

You will notice that one of these facts is most likely important than the others. 

Who the hell names their kid Basil? 

(Just kidding.) 

- 

Tony gets back to the US, promises his mom that he won’t tell anyone, and then immediately tells Rhodey when mom goes to the grocery store. 

“Wait, so...they’re trusting you?” 

“I know! What a terrible idea!” 

“God, I know. You can’t even clean a microwave.” 

“That was one time!” 

Rhodey laughs, tackling Tony in a hug. 

“I know, I know. Welcome back, Tones.” 

He feels safe. Protected. 

- 

He has to learn how to fucking throw knives. Mom has decided that she is going to call in a favor from Howard, and it involves dragging Tony to a most-likely-illegal-pseudo-government-set-up and training under a guy who goes by Hawkeye and a lady who goes by “Black Widow” and expects Tony to be fine with it.  

Rhodey also attends, because Tony appreciates misery with company. 

Plus, they can complain together as they’re getting their asses kicked. 

“Do you ever think about taking a vacation?” Rhodey asks, panting as Natasha once again slams him down on the mat. “I’m sure that Florida or the Philippines would appreciate you. Tourism or the economy, or something like that.” 

“You’re not getting out of your fighting lessons by bribing me with a nice vacation,” Natasha says simply. “Tony, adjust your left arm. You’ll break it when Clint comes into contact.” 

“Maybe I want to break my arm!” Tony declares. 

“Do you want to have to wrap your cast in plastic every single time you shower?” Clint asks. “Because that’s what’ll happen.” 

“Why don’t you just spray the cast with some sort of waterproofing spray?” 

“Would that even work?” Clint asks. “Because you might have just blown my mind.” 

“It might work, I don’t know,” Tony says, panting. 

-

It is eight months when Tony first brushes with darkness. 

It’s the morning, which is...odd. He wouldn’t think that darkness would show up in the morning, but here he is on his morning walk trying desperately hard to fight it off and also not grab attention. 

He manages to slam it down on the road and have a car run it over, and for the most part, the darkness retreats. He sends it off with a curse, and he runs all the way back to the apartment. 

Rhodey frowns. 

“We probably need other people, right?” 

“A regular family reunion and then some.” 

- 

So as it turns out, they’re not getting a family reunion. At least, not any time soon. 

Apparently, Nonna is demanding that they have to be there from October 31st through December 7th, according to Holy Days of Obligation and Holidays (specifically, Christian holidays.) 

“Nonna, isn’t witchcraft considered illegal or something?” Tony asks. “Like, I thought the church didn’t like that.” 

“Too bad, too late. We stay. Talk to your mama, Tonio. She will have answers.” 

-

Maria has absolutely no answers! 

“I didn’t seek out witches who live here, baby,” she says, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Why don’t you email people? Ask around?” 

“You can’t just ask people if they’re a witch!” Tony cries. 

“Why not?” 

“Because you get people who think you’re insane, or they’re insane!” 

“So?” 

“...good point.” 

- 

Pepper Potts is not sure why she answers the post. It is probably something else not related to what she does. Maybe she’ll be meeting with weirdos. But when you get an ad that’s about “stopping darkness from engulfing the world in two-to-four-years: you wanna help?” you listen to that. 

So she answers, and she walks in her business-casual outfit, and she meets two guys who are sitting at a shitty folding table at the park. 

One of them is wearing cargo pants. 

“Are you here about the darkness?” one of the boys says, blinking up at her behind gigantic glasses. 

“Um. Yes?” 

“Good. My name is Tony, this is Rhodey in the terrible pants. And you are?” 

“Um. Pepper?” 

“Oh, cool name.” 

“Thanks, picked it out myself.” 

Rhodey laughs. 

“Good. Now, what kind of magic stuff can you do?” 

“I’d hardly call it stuff.” 

“Tony uses his to make us ramen while we marathon a crime show, I’m calling it stuff,” Rhodey defends. 

Pepper watches around her, and satisfied with the lack of people around, lifts Rhodey out of his chair and floats him about thirty feet over. 

When he jogs back over, he’s grinning. 

“Very cool. What else?” 

Pepper is well-versed in technique, spells, and a few tricks that Tony doesn’t know about involving manipulation of light. 

“How can you do that?” 

“Practice,” Pepper says. “And a late-night conspiracy theory documentary.” 

“Cool,” Tony and Rhodey say at the same time. 

- 

Pepper actually doesn’t live that far away, and she goes to the same college. They see a lot more of her and become friends. 

She helps them update the spell-book, get it organized online, and focus on finding out where the darkness is going to appear next. 

- 

Tony is trying very hard not to break down from stress. He’s barely twenty, ate ramen for lunch and dinner yesterday, and is not very sure that he can do this. 

People keep telling him that he’s the only hope they have, and he doesn’t want to be that. 

He just wants to have a regular summer and make fun of Rhodey’s questionable fashion choices. 

He doesn’t even know how to defeat this. At all. And he just wants to graduate college, and get a job somewhere and annoy his mom into teaching him how to make homemade pasta. 

Not...not this. 

But you don’t get to choose what you have to do for others. You have to do what they need. 

Rhodey, at least, understands this. 

- 

That is why he is outside of Tony’s door with a half-cold burrito of questionable origins, a smile, and no knowledge of personal boundary space. 

(Not that Tony minds.) 

“Hey,” he says. “So, you have to save the world and I still remember the fact that you forget to get your shit out of the microwave.” 

Tony laughs at that, taking the proffered burrito and biting into it. 

“You still have shitty taste in burritos. Where is this even from?” 

“A badly-painted truck two blocks from here. I think I was their first customer of the day.” 

“No shit,” Tony says, taking another bite of the burrito. “You want to watch a movie or play a video game?” 

“Movie. Something light.” 

- 

This is how they get to watch a movie that honestly doesn’t mean anything to either of them, but it is mindless and it allows Rhodey to sneak his hand over Tony’s, and it allows Tony some sort of happiness that at least Rhodey is still by his side. 

“Hey Tony?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You think if I managed to find an actual broomstick, you could fly it?” 

“Oh, fuck you!” Tony laughs, tossing a pillow over Rhodey’s face. 

“I’m serious. You managed to charm the coffeepot into being sentient, so...” 

“That was a mistake, and now we’re stuck with Maggie, don’t bother her.” 

But it does have him thinking. 

If he can charm a coffeepot, what else could he charm? 

- 

A suit of armor. 

That’s what he charms. He was originally shooting for a broomstick, but then Pepper surprised him and now he has a charmed suit of armor that stands in the hallway of his mom’s old house. (Their base of operations.) 

It gives him an idea. 

Why not combine the old with the new? 

After all, it’s not like darkness hasn’t adapted to hundreds of years of battles. Why not throw a curveball? 

- 

“I don’t like using my major,” Rhodey whines as Tony makes him lift one of the arms for his own suit. 

“Too bad,” Tony teases. “I’ll get you pizza after.” 

“Promise?” 

“Mostly.” 

“Good enough for me.” 

Pepper thinks they’re both idiots, at least until she gets her own suit and is positively thrilled when she looks like she’s a superhero from a television show. 

“Yeah, yeah, we look cool.” Tony says. “Now, who’s ready to learn how to conduct magic and electricity at the same time?” 

It works out better than anticipated, all things considered. 

- 

“You ruined the couch, Anthony Edward Stark-Carbonell!” Mom fumes. “The couch! Where I sit!” 

“To be fair, it’s a really ugly couch,” Tony says weakly. “And it’s, um, for the betterment of...magical society?” 

“Don’t you dare quote your Aunt Gia at me!” Mom goes on muttering in Italian, and it sounds suspiciously like “why did I have to have a son who blows up couches” to Tony. 

- 

The darkness comes in full-force on a Saturday night, which is really inconvenient for a lot of reasons: 

1.) A Saturday? Really? It couldn’t come on, like, a Thursday? 

2.) They’ve been celebrating Rhodey’s birthday and perhaps Tony has enjoyed two or three drinks and gotten a pleasant buzz out of it, all things considered. 

3.) It’s midnight. Why midnight? That’s late, Pepper wanted to get to bed. 

4.) Mom is going to kill them, because technically they weren’t supposed to be out on the town. 

 -

So here they are, panicking and throwing shitty restaurant chairs around in order to main some sort of ahead-of-the-game mentality. 

“Do you think if we called your mom, she would help?” 

“She would probably kill me first!” Tony wails. 

“Before darkness can?” 

“Probably!” 

- 

Maria won’t kill her son yet. 

Yet. 

But god she’s going to come close. 

“You could’ve just asked me to buy you wine!” she says. “You could’ve had a movie in!” 

“Well sorry, I didn’t think that the darkness was going to come on Rhodey’s birthday!” 

“Oh when would you have thought it would come? Next Thursday? Or something more convenient for your year?” 

“I mean, when I have to visit Howard over the summer, that would be beneficial.” 

“I’ll make up a different excuse,” Mom hisses, deflecting a tendril of darkness from the window and wincing as it smashes a painting down from the wall. 

- 

The fight is a hard one. All good fights are. (Although the best fights are ones that are over in five minutes, give or take.) 

It’s been hours, Tony is tired, and honestly he really is debating calling a break and going to get a shitty fast-food burger. 

Rhodey says “no” even though his stomach is growling. 

Pepper has been having fun finding new ways to animate cars, but she’s getting tired. 

- 

And then it gets all of his family that he’s made. 

He can see Rhodey writhing in it, can see his mom fight it off, and watches Pepper scream. 

Tony is not sure if he can do it. 

But he has to. He has to beat this fucking terrible thing back because if he doesn’t, everyone else dies. And they don’t get families, they don’t know what will happen. 

(And he also really wants to plan a vacation with Rhodey and Pepper next year.) 

So he takes himself and all of what he knows, and launches himself directly into it. 

-

By all accounts, he wasn’t supposed to do that. But he hasn’t been able to cut it down into a more manageable size, so he figures that maybe it’s time to try something that has never been advisable by anyone on either hemisphere of the world, or anyone who has ever been rational. 

Going into darkness is a very difficult thing, because for one, you can’t see shit. 

For a second thing, he can hear everything. 

Darkness is not just absence of light. It can be absence of every single damned good thing on the earth, in your head, or anywhere around you. Some people have described it as hell. 

Tony is alone, and he is not sure what to do. 

There’s a table, and there is someone sitting there. 

“So.” 

The woman is stirring an olive around her martini, and she looks impeccably dressed. A fitted skirt and suit, manicured black nails, and eyeliner that looks impossibly intricate. 

“You are...?” 

“The person you’re supposed to destroy.” 

“But you’re not exactly a person, are you?” 

“Smart guy. No, I’m just the personification of what you’re fighting. You intrigue me, Tony Stark.” 

“Just Tony.” 

“Fine then. Tony.” 

“Why do I intrigue you?” 

“Most heroes are alone,” darkness says. (Does he capitalize her name? He’s not sure. “They go alone, they don’t involve people in their struggle. You have involved your family, put them in danger.” 

“They would’ve been in greater danger if I had gone by myself,” Tony says. “People have a nasty habit of sticking together, you know.” 

“Do they now?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says. “And now, I have to make sure we stick together anyways.” 

“And what do you mean by-” 

He’s already lunging at her. 

She wasn’t expecting him to lunge, he guessed. 

She goes down, and yells. 

Tony scrabbles to fight again as she sends out a blast his way, and he ducks. 

“You can’t hide from me!” she yells. 

“I’m not trying to!” he yells back. “I’m just trying to kill you!” 

The fight goes on, and she plays dirty. Her nails tear into his armor, and he tears his fingers through her hair. 

“You can’t beat me,” she howls, triumphant as she manages to pin one of his legs down, and trying to claw at his face. “Darkness always exists! You would be nothing without me!” 

Tony pauses for a second. 

“So what you’re saying is...as long as you exist, so does everything else?” 

“Yes!” 

Tony grins. 

“Aw, you shouldn’t have told me that honey.” 

With darkness being the beginning, everything else comes forth. Tony summons his cousins, his family, Rhodey, Pepper. 

And eventually, her physical form gets smaller and smaller. 

- 

Darkness is not something that can be eradicated from your life. But you can beat the shit out of it with help. Tony learned that. 

He also learned that Rhodey has a phenomenal flying kick. 

- 

They spend the following day laying on the couch or adjacent chairs and staring at the decorations that they need to replace. 

They also learn that Nonna has learned how to call, and is not quite sure if she can be heard or not. 

“TONIO? TONIO! WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

“Nonna, quiet,” Tony groans. “I literally just saved the world yesterday, please don’t yell.” 

“I HAVE FOOD FOR YOU. COME TO ITALY. NEXT WEEK?” 

Tony groans. 

“Sure, Nonna. I will come.” 

“BRING FRIENDS. HAVE GIFTS FROM POPE FOR YOU.” 

“You...when did you have time to get gifts...the pope?” 

“HAVE FRIENDS. COME!” 

Tony looks at Mom, Rhodey, and Pepper. 

“So. When should we leave for next week?” 

[goodgirlsfanficawards]

It’s Friday! Kick off your weekend with a reread of these five fics from September!

found my thrill by s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

12 Sep 2020, M, 2.1K, 1/1

The tip toward Mrs. Boland fell delightfully easy into his lap. And yes, he thinks, absently clacking the hard candy against back teeth, the source of this information isn’t what he’d term the most wholesome. Leslie is, to put it mildly, something of a turd. Apparently one with aspirations of playing cops and robbers, quite possibly unstable. But that’s essentially by the by. Jimmy’s allied with worse for less.

His sweet is practically vacant of flavour now. It’s spent too long being sucked upon, dwindling slow. There’s a packet in the cabinet by his head; easy replenishment is on offer. But it’s the action he enjoys, more than the florid taste. There’s no sense to using up supplies ahead of the need.

She’d been squirrelly, this Mrs. Boland, both times he spoke to her. In the presence of her husband, and without his shade. Maybe she’s not aware Jimmy noticed it, might be unused to having her responses attended to; her man doesn’t exactly impress as the observant type. But Stepford sketchiness wouldn’t necessarily translate to anything relevant right now. He’s focused on breaking this case, not poking at lesser fry. Oh, Jimmy’s seen the seedy underbelly to white picket land, is past naïve over that. Has run into a whole host out there: prescription pills; pimpless, primarily, prostitution; pornography production ranging from the shockingly amateur to the really quite advanced.

Suburban problems have a way of sealing themselves inward though. Rarely spill out their box into messy violence and mass ugliness in a manner which requires large amounts of attention. If it’s something of that type, he may not, for now, have a quarrel with her. Well, unless she brings him one.

The Game by BookBearer 

08 Sep 2020, M, 4K, 1/?

This most recent hit was one of the biggest they’ve seen in a while. Rio and his group owned – well, “collaborated with” – multiple grocery stores, businesses, and shops throughout the city of Detroit. Each section had its own purpose, but there were a couple of larger, no-named, grocery stores that were their biggest assets.

One of which was robbed yesterday night.

The first time an incident like this happened, Rio was not overly concerned. There were lowlife criminals scattered all across the city of Detroit- sometimes shit happens. Some people are new to the area, so maybe they didn’t get the memo—don’t fuck with Rio’s business.

Usually he would send out a couple of his boys to rough them up a bit. And if he was feeling generous, he would show them the error of their ways, take the full cut of what they took, and then let the go with all their fingers intact. Sometimes.

But this?

This was different.

With each passing day, Rio would continue to hear about how his shit was getting robbed. A barber shop here, a liquor store there, and now yesterday was the grocery store on 3rd. And it only seemed to be his shit getting hit… each store that was robbed had his cash involved somehow.

To say Rio was pissed would be the understatement of the century.

Let's All Get Drunk And Go To Heaven by Fei / @lanafannabanana​, @Nice_diva

01 Sep 2020, E, 3.4K, 1/1

Only it’s not one drink for her. Not even two. The whole situation just feels surreal, and she feels so out of place, so restless. Rio is sitting across from her and she could feel his eyes on her even when she is not looking. Beth ends up having double bourbon. Twice. By the moment she finishes her second glass, she feels her mind blissfully fogging, and she knows she should probably slow down a little, but it’s too late now.

And maybe she’s feeling a little too tipsy right now, so what?

Beth is nursing her third drink, when she feels Rio’s knee bump into hers. She raises her eyebrows, turning to him.

“Yo,” he says lazily.

And that he is tonight – awfully lazy and very relaxed. She finds it suspicious and doesn’t even want to think about why he is so relaxed. Is it because it’s Mick’s birthday, so Rio is letting it go for a moment? Or maybe some deal went really fine? And, gosh, what kind of deal, exactly? Maybe he is just in a good mood? Is he ever?

He is always so much trouble even when he is not.

She doesn’t reply, just snorts and rolls her eyes, twirling a lock of her blond hair. He looks so cheeky and genuine right now, she can’t help but smile back.

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul by medievalraven / @medievalraven​​

08 Sep 2020, M, 14K, 2/3

“You know I did hear something interesting about the event tonight,” Gretchen says.

“What’s that?”

“Apparently Elizabeth Boland was there, caused quite a stir.”

Rio takes a drink, trying to remember seeing anyone out of place tonight or anyone people had been watching, whispering about.  But he can’t place anyone outside the normal crowd. 

As if sensing his confusion Gretchen exhales sharply before clarifying. 

“Her grandfather was the former governor and she had been a regular at these things ever since she could walk.  My mother used to love seeing what dresses she’d wear even as a little girl, it was quite the big deal amongst the newspapers apparently.  Anyway a couple years ago there was talk that her husband was being tapped for an appointment to the State House of Representatives when he passed away suddenly. She basically disappeared after that.”

“Is that right?”

“So imagine everyone’s surprise when she showed up tonight as the caterer no less,” Gretchen chuckles. 

And of fucking course that was her. 

Off The Record by Sdktrs12 / @sdktrs12​​

18 Sep 2020, T, 31K, 5/?

“It’s a ride along, so you’ll be on the road for a few weeks. But compensation is...substantial.” He pauses and Beth lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s an entertainment piece.” He continues hastily, sensing her impatience. “A series of gallery showings for a photography exhibit.”  

She sucks in a sharp breath and she knows Mason catches it because he heaves out a sigh, already knowing he’s losing her. “Absolutely not.” She hisses, her mind immediately transported back seven years.  

She can picture herself perfectly, sitting at the hotel bar as she’d tried to drink away her misery. And then he’d been there, materializing by her side, eyes dark and dangerous as they’d scanned over her... 

“You didn’t even let me finish.” Mason interrupts her thoughts and she distantly hears the toilet flush down the hall. Then the water is running in the sink and she pushes herself off the island. 

She heads toward the door, stopping by the stairs to grab Jane’s overnight bag.    

“I don’t need to hear the rest. Honestly, what did you expect? I mean, not only do I refuse to work with him, he refuses to work with me.” Beth scoffs at that—like he had any right or reason to blacklist her.    

Not like the reasons she had.  

“That’s the thing. His publicist called us and asked for you specifically. Said he doesn’t want the article done under any other publication or written by any other freelancer.”  

 And just—what? That didn’t make any sense. They hated each other.  

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