#but oof i am in my FEELINGS

[leashybebes]

i think the reason i am so obsessed with tommy is like... okay, prefacing all of this with "much of this is head canon/extrapolation from canon/my standard over identification with fictional characters. i don't expect other folks to see him the same way". also, as i wrote this i was like "huh, pretty sure i've said this before in slightly different words" so feel free to keep scrolling in search of an original thought i guess lol

i love to love. i love to look after people. i love to give them affection. i love to do things that broadcast loud and clear "hey! hey you! i care about you!" i have always struggled with letting people do the same for me. if anything was going to derail my current relationship early on, it would have been that - without intending to, i take away people's agency by not giving them opportunities to do those things for me. it's a fucked up way to be - to give and give and give, and to stop other people from giving back. it creates an imbalance, an inequality, that means a relationship is not going to last, and if it does last, it'll be bad.

i keep gnawing at a line in a wip i have about tommy post-breakup meeting a new guy and thinking that he likes the guy's sharp edges and that he didn't give buck a chance to show any sharp edges because they spent six months having amazing sex and Being Cute. he was Doing Boyfriend Things. and i don't think it was fake, as such. but i think it was surface. he gave affection and he gave care, and you can give all of those things without every really giving anything of yourself.

i think, given the chance, buck would have been a great partner to tommy. but i don't think, based on what we saw, that he was given that chance. he was given the chance for a soft landing into his first (apparently unexamined) queer relationship. he was given the chance to be adored and to be a little demanding and a little bratty. he was given the chance to be looked after. just going on what we've seen on screen, it doesn't look like he was given the chance to be a partner.

so maybe it wasn't just that tommy thought buck needed/would want to explore other options somewhere down the line (and here's where we veer into head canon territory) but maybe it was that that weird ass conversation made him think - oh, he doesn't see me. oh, i've been here before. and maybe he's been there with someone less adorable than buck. someone who was more intentional about taking and taking, someone who didn't or wouldn't have given back, given the chance. and he knows how that ends. it ends with giving more and more of yourself, and getting less and less back. it ends with someone you thought you loved barely seeing you at all, it ends with you being Someone's Boyfriend. it ends with "tommy? who? yeah, that guy's boyfriend, right?" because you've made yourself into a source of someone else's comfort and security and you look down and realise there's nothing underneath your feet. it ends with resentment that you don't feel like you deserve to feel because you can't be mad that they don't take care of you when you've never showed them that you need taking care of.

so i think that's the tragedy of it for me. it really would have worked - if tommy was able to take. if buck was given a chance to give. there's not anyone to blame, unless you want to go through their lives and their histories and find the things and the people who made them the people who they are.

[junewild]

Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.

[riotdyke]

(6/6/24) Once again just putting feelers out for any potential takers - if there's any folks out there with space for a trans dyke to crash with her lil black cat (and can maybe help with transportation a bit) throw me a DM please. I've got 24 days left where I am here in Ohio maximum, and I am happy to sit down and discuss helping with costs and general household stuff (I fucking love doing the dishes tbh.)

Once again, if you got a free space and are maybe okay with a little road trip (which I can also help cover expenses on) then shoot me a DM here or send me a message on Discord @ riotrhea.

❤️‍🔥

[heshemejoshi]

was bored so drew wukong

plus some text practicing the look of rótulos in digital. i’ve always liked how it looks. if you’re mexican and like jttw dm me oh my god

[bi-writes]

i need to stop comparing myself to the other wonderful writers here but damn is it so hard.

[crazymecjc]

i am the devil’s minion, and he grants my every wish.

[yiangchen]

it's so tragic funny that while i was watching t100, jroth was so adamant that there was nothing romantic there with bellarke, that it literally made me doubt what was very clearly being written as romantic (and it actually was. like, we know this now. it has been confirmed).

looking back, bellarke could have kissed at so many different points in the show, without changing anything else but having them kiss, and it would have made perfect sense. it would have flowed. it would have aligned with their relationship development.

just think about it. 1x09. unity day. is this a bit early? yes. but do they have the chemistry? yes. and have they had sufficient build up for two characters to have their first kiss? yes. honestly more than a lot of ships that happen in the first season of their show. especially since day trip just happened! plus, the flirting during unity day was...not subtle.

listen...she wanted to kiss him here so bad. seriously though. clarke could have and that would have been a very natural progression of this scene. it would have especially fit the early drop ship days vibe.

(or you could add in a scene where clarke finds him later, now sufficiently buzzed, they flirt some more, then she kisses him, and bellamy's like, "woah, woah, princess, what are you doing?" but he's smiling and she just shrugs with a smile and goes in to kiss him again, saying "having fun", and bellamy says, "you're drunk" and clarke is exasperated saying, "well you told me to!" and bellamy laughs, very amused, and from the look in his eyes, you can tell that he is also very very VERY smitten.)

if you still think that's too soon, yeah, i tend to agree. i love the idea of s1 bellarke in fanfic, but for the show, i prefer a bit more of slowburn. so let's push it to season 2. no, that's not a true slowburn, but still, you had to wait a little for it, and a lot of shows do this successfully. so anyway. 2x05. post iconic reunion hug, shot in a very romantic way i might add.

bellamy is watching clarke sleep by the fire, she wakes, we have some platonic gazing with firelight flickering across their faces...

we all know how the scene goes. he reassures her. he confides in her. she reassures him back.

i'm sorry, but the way they are looking at each other here? dude, if they had been sitting any closer, they could have kissed. i tend to think it would be more in character for clarke to initiate a first kiss with bellamy in s1-4, but in this scene, i 100% could see bellamy going in to kiss her after this.

(and yes, i'm aware that octavia was pretending to be asleep this whole time, but honestly, her reaction to them would have added some much needed levity to the situation. octavia is a bellarke shipper, after all. also, some people might say that this would make clarke's "i love you" to finn less believable, but i disagree. you can have feelings for two people at the same time. i mean, she literally kisses lxa very quickly after finn's death sooo yeah...plus, it would have made the bellarke angst of s2b/3 even better.)

maybe you still want more of a slowburn though, and that is perfectly fair, which brings me to s3, which in my opinion would have been one of the best seasons for canon bellarke. alright. 3x05. hakeldama yup! it was prime time for a first kiss. i mean, all the build up of s1/2 obviously, but also...this had just happened:

but anyway...back to hakeldama. this is the peak of their angst. nothing tops it.

but then, after the heat of the moment, the softness comes in. as it always does with these two. they wind up sharing the softest, most romantic scene in this entire show (fight me).

that last gif, man...at this point, i think they would both go in for the kiss. mutually initiated. god, it would have fit the scene so well!

(some people might say that this would invalidate clarke's love for lxa, considering everything that happens two eps later, but again, i disagree. like i said before, you can have feelings for two people at the same time. people might also say that this would undermine bellamy's relationship with gina, but you know what? the whole fucking narrative undermined that relationship, so i really don't care. i loved gina, but if clarke can kiss lxa right after finn's death, then bellamy can kiss clarke right after gina's death. this show is messy, okay? and bellarke are messy as fuckkkk.)

still think it would be too early? okay. season 4 then. very recently, i realized how easy making bellarke canon in s4 would have been, holyyyy. starting off in 4x03. bellamy is sleeping on the couch and clarke watches him sleep with the softest smile on her face (i'm still crying about this btw). i can't find the right gif, but you all know the smile! then clarke is struggling so bellamy wakes up and is there to support her, making a declaration that has romantic undertones, it just does!

and then clarke lowkey makes a move on him lmao. for real though?? what was this???

i would only change one thing here. he takes a seat beside her first and then puts his hand on her shoulder. so that way they are eye level (aka kissing level).

when she lifts her head off their hands, their faces would be so close. maybe bellamy would tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, not realizing how intimate that kind of thing is until he does it. i could see them kissing here. clarke would initiate. although, i think it would be so much better if it was just an almost kiss. bellamy tells her she should get some sleep right before it happens.

and then in 4x06...

it's actually so funny how she says that and then she's like 'oh no. that sounded like it implied something. i did not mean to imply.'

and bellamy's over here like 'omg she's implying.'

which leads to him literally about to confess. i'm sorry, but there is no other way to interpret....

and of course clarke interrupts, but this is the moment, you guys! this could have been the moment.

right after this, before roan's interruption, there's a pause, and then clarke kisses him. it's a quick one. the kind of kiss where she has both of her hands on his face and he's so stunned by it that his eyebrows raise in surprise and before he can even process that it's happened, she's pulled back and they're looking at each other, a bit in awe, both surprised that she just did that.

then in 4x09, we actually get to see the reunion!! and it's the running kind. just like 2x05. only this time, after they run to each other and hug, bellamy pulls back and takes her face in his hands to examine her for injuries, and once he realizes she's okay, probably after she reassures him and puts a hand on his face, then he kisses her, but they both go in for it (and i cry).

in 4x13, i would change the location of the head and heart scene. somewhere more private...a bedroom (!). so, after this moment:

and bellamy turns away, upset, clarke pulls him back to face her and takes his face in her hands. his eyes are watery. so are hers. she kisses him. one thing leads to another and we get the sex scene we deserved!! then they're lying in bed, cuddling. bellamy's head is on her chest and clarke's playing with his hair. that's when she decides to ruin the moment lmao and continues the head and heart convo with "we've been through a lot together, you and i." i can just see it so well. they would shift so that they're laying on their sides, facing one another. maybe clarke's fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck now. when she says he has a big heart, her palm rests on his bare chest. when she says he has to use his head too, her fingers of her other hand shift from his neck to his temple. when bellamy says, "i've got you for that," clarke kisses him. their foreheads stay touching for a few breathes, then she pulls back to look at him and says that raven's premonition came true. like...am i crazy or would this have worked so well?? literally the same dialogue but...they're together.

(plus, this could have led to clarke raising bellamy's kid--august--along with madi over those six years they are separated, i'm just saying!)

maybe you still think that season 5 was the ultimate time for bellarke to go canon, and you know what? i honestly might just agree. the set up was there with clarke calling bellamy every day for 2,199 days. the potential was there. madi was the biggest bellarke shipper i swear. she wanted them to be together even more than all of us combined i think. for a bellarke kiss though, you would almost have to drastically change the course of events...unless you go with 5x13 and blecho have broken up earlier in the season. after clarke wakes bellamy from cryo (still crying about this moment, yeah!), i could see them having a moment.

before jordan walks in, maybe clarke helps bellamy out of the pod, and once they're both standing, bellamy would finally make his move. instead of bellamy asking why they're the only ones there, clarke does. bellamy tells her, "we'll figure it out, clarke, but first, i have something i wanna say." maybe he does something soft, like take her hand or brush her hair behind her ear. clarke is staring at him, not quite believing what is happening right now, but deep down, she knows. he tells her, "those six years without you were the worst of my life and i don't wanna waste any more time." clarke is wearing a watery smile, still not quite sure she believes what she's hearing. she tells him, "i radioed you every day you were gone." bellamy's whole face lights up and he tells her, "i know." their foreheads touch. both of his hands are cradling her cheeks, her hands are cradling his wrists. she whispers his name. it's the kind of kiss where the time before the kiss is excruciatingly long, but once they kiss, it becomes much more urgent as they finally give in to all of the feelings. god. would have been ICONIC.

plus, they both looked absolutely gorgeous in this scene. hello???

would have been one hell of an aesthetically pleasing first kiss holyyyy. then jordan interrupts and makes some comment about how his mom and dad were right all along :)

if not season 5 though...moving onto season 6. 6x10 to be exact. i know i've said that other times were the ultimate time for canon bellarke, but this episode is too! or right after it in 6x11. there are two scenarios that i see playing out here. (in both, blecho have broken up previously.)

in the first scenario, it's 6x10. as soon as bellamy saves clarke and she wakes up, instead of going in to hug him, i swear when i was watching it that i really thought she was going in for the kiss. that was the one and only time where i legitimately thought they were about to kiss while watching. it had never made more sense than in that moment. even with all of jroth's attempted brainwashing, my mind was stronger in that moment. it saw it coming. or at least i thought i did lmao. i know they didn't actually kiss.

but listen.

they really should have.

clarke is literally looking at him like this:

come on, man.

i usually say that bellamy should be the one initiating post s4, but in this moment, it would have been clarke.

and if not then, the other scenario is that they hug as usual. clarke gets some rest as usual. but when she wakes up in 6x11 and bellamy is at her side, they are in a separate private tent. they have that same conversation that they do. they argue about clarke risking her life again. but then...

he tells her, "hey, i just got you back." he says it firm but soft. i see bellamy initiating the kiss here, especially since he's almost lost her twice now, but once clarke realizes that this is really happening, that after all this time he wants her just as much as she wants him, she would for sure be the one initiating everything else. she would be sitting in his lap making out with him so fast jfsldkjfaslk and you know what? good for her!! they either just kiss a lot here, laying down on the bed, all tangled up together, and then they're interrupted, or maybe, just for once, they're allowed to be happy, uninterrupted, and they sleep together. either way. natural progression.

that's really the point of this longwinded post. so many times it could have happened. all of them a nature progression of the story that was being told.

then comes season 7...

there are no words.

6x13 left them off in a perfect place...

the set up was literally right there! they should have kissed in 7x01!! they should have lived happily ever after with madi in a seaside cabin situated in a field of gold!!

[scarameownya]

thinking about niko with my actual skin tone...

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Outdrawn

f/f contemporary romance

two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at

they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families

[r0semultiverse]

From Season 3 Ep9 Revelations Chapter One Live Blog

“The baby was hungry”

“Please you helped me so much since I first got here.”

BOY SHES GONNA EAT YOU ALIVE IF YOU DON’T CUT THIS SHIT OUT 👀

JIM I STG YOU ARE BEING SUCH AN ASS BRO I MEAN RANDALL WAS A DOUCHE BUT STOP PLAYING COP, WE ALREADY GOT THE YT LADY DOING THAT! 😭

Oh thank fuck he’s listening for a change instead of charging in guns blazing.

Oh shit she’s gonna go for the jugular isn’t she?

Please no one shoot the messenger, Sara has done fucked up shit, but she’s helpful.

Weird how Fromville is basically playing them all like chess pieces or one big show or something.

Oh gods please keep cop lady away from Victor. I don’t trust like that.

DONNA IS GAY I KNEW IT (or that’s her sister but listen... VIBESSS)

THATS WHY BOYD IS THE GOAT!!! 🔥

Ellis is hot. I think that a lot, but just wanted to say it. He’s cute.

Someones gonna die today and Elgin's got the final sayyyyy (epic the musical thunder bringer reference yeah)

“I’m a good cop!” For the crowd who usually jokes about participation trophies you sure are giving yourself one. Bruh I wish the monsters got you on the night you arrived. Someone get this pig out of here.

Hey Victor buddyy... hey maybe don't... do that.

Woah kid hi wtf?

You an angry spirit or something boy in white? "because I tried" WELL, TRY AGAIN THEN! If you're gonna stick around fucking help!

Wait no Victor is right, this kid does look different, sounds older too like preteen or teen. wtf is happening?

ELGIN IS GONNA GET CAUGHT IM CALLING IT NOW

Are they gonna do a time skip of some sort before season 5? Idk how I'd feel about that, but i randomly thought of it.

ELGIN SELF REPORT!?!?

ah nvm

oh shit oh fuck

I stg if this shit somehow teleports them I'm gonna be so annoyed

NO, GO IN TOGETHER PLEASE HOLY FUCK

NO NOPE NOPE NOPE FUCK YOU I HATE THAT. GET YOUR BLAIR WITCH PROJECT ASS OUT THE WAY PLEASE

oH THANK FUCK. bruh stg I'm always turning my volume down for shit like this, I hate getting jumpscared.

oh no :((( she saw Victor's mom get eaten by jerma

[kiwiwinjindouche]

Despite everything...

...is it still you?

[crystalmagpie447]

I like your ocs (tell me about your ocs)

EHEHUEHDUBE Need a rewrite lore and stuff becausde iv e mostly just been running on vibes and stuff from music LMAO Bu t i can show u my guys >:) (that ive already posted here before u hm) THERES ZALEN a g uy who is on tha mission to figure out why he and a few of his ancestors are cursed to turn into horriffic powerful beasts from time to time there he i s normal and happy and awe some

g u h i need to figure out characterization and stuff to d e scribe this one but i call him kriel-possesed (tho hes not really possessed? Its like uhhhmmm so m e weird connection to something thats altered his magicand changed his form ill figure it out later HRBEUJR)

ooouughgj i wanna redraw this one sobad but its toocool ANYWAY heres his beast form

uuhmm thats just a head, i dont think i have a full drawing

ohmygosh were so back

Atlas!!! uuhhmmm wary of zalen

knows something is up, but is mostly just being protective of his brother

Other characters that i dont have drawings of/need redesigns/cant find files for AQJISDHUUDHSJ Briar: Atlas' brother and friend of zalens. He and zalen go to school together and thats all i really have KIJDUHFBRDHN I m e an theres more but thatd be

explaining story lore and im just doing characters for now COUGH

Eryx: Prince of the neighboring kingdom (Avian kingdom), befriends briar later in the story Carter: One of zalen's first friends, no one knows where he is

hhmmm

i thinkg thats it for main characters

[monstermoviedean]

coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.

[crazymecjc]

the world is very beautiful indeed.

[hihopelessromantics]

Open letter of love to the queer and LGBTQIA community in America and abroad in these dark times. Please know that out there in the world there is at least [1], likely many more, people who witnessed your existence and are fundamentally better for it. Someone who took courage from your expression of self. Someone was genuinely able to smile in a dark place because they saw you, or something you made to express yourself. Someone who saw something you and your community shared with the world and felt so lucky to witness it. Someone who took comfort knowing you are out there somewhere and hopes you will thrive. Maybe you will never know the exact measure of joy you brought to some people, and get to understand the gratitude and love they have for you, which is a damn shame. To the queer people in my life and those I’ve had the pleasure of crossing paths with, through art or dialogue or writing or silly posting, thank you. And thank you for sharing your thoughts and creations with us. I hope you will continue to do so, and that many more people than you anticipated will step forward and fight like hell for you. You deserve it.

[finniestoncrane]

i don’t really feel like sharing stuff just now so i’m gonna take a probably teensy little break from posting fics!!

i went on and fuckin on about my pornstar cooper but it’s whatever and i hate to be a fuckin bitch about it but i’ve been crying like a baby for two hours (rejection sensitivity haha) and oof it feels vulnerable and i’d rather not feel like that