#but once he gets her back she's painfully quiet. always looking over her shoulder. and simmering with anger!

[whytheylosttheirminds]

Don't Call Me Kid - chapter 1

(Rafe Cameron x Reader, series, 3.9k words)

series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.

tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder

content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues

⇢ series masterlist

The drive down to Miami was idyllic. Windows rolled down, you and Carter sang along to the playlist you’d made for the trip and ate your favorite childhood snacks. Blue skies above you as Carter’s new Jeep flew down the coast, you actually started to feel excited for the week ahead.

Then, you pulled up to the Airbnb, and it all faded.

The second you saw all of Carter’s high school friends in the driveway, unpacking their cars and exchanging hugs, it all came rushing back. The way you felt like you never really fit in, how they’d tease you for being quiet, how the boys’ eyes would skip right over you in search of your sister.

Carter turned down the radio when she noticed the way you were biting your lip with trepidation.

“It’s gonna be fun,” she tried to assure you. “Promise.”

You put on your best fake smile, determined to make this a good week for her. After everything she’s done for you, if all she wanted in return was a fun week at the beach, you’d give her that. You pushed your anxiety down as best as you could and hopped out of the Jeep.

“Oh shit!” Topper called, standing at the open trunk of his Range Rover. “Is that who I think it is?”

He rushed over, sweeping Carter up and throwing her over his shoulder.

“Put me down, Top!” She yelped, not entirely convincing that she wanted him to.

He set her down and smiled wide at her, just as smitten as ever. She gave him a playful pat on the head, like a dog, and went to get the bags from her car. Topper’s eyes shifted over to you and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

“No way, Little Carter is that you?” He teased, using your least favorite nickname.

“What’s up, Topper?” You tried to sound unannoyed.

Before he could answer, still slightly gawking at you, another voice emerged from the front door of the house.

“Yo who is it, Top?” Kelce yelled down from the top of the front steps.

“Come see for yourself, jackass!” Topper shouted back.

Kelce hopped down from the top step and approached you in the driveway, throwing his arm around Topper’s shoulder.

“No fucking way,” he said, when it finally dawned on him who you were. He looked you up and down and added, “what do they put in the water at that fancy school of yours?”

“Smoothe, man,” Topper smirked at him.

Your cheeks burned, you rolled your eyes at them to try and seem unaffected. They had never talked to you like this before. The majority of your interactions with Topper and Kelce in high school consisted of them teasing you about Rafe and asking where your sister was. They never even came close to flirting with you, and now you couldn’t decide whether you liked it or not.

“Can you two stop drooling over my baby sister and come help me with these fucking bags?” Carter called to them from the back of her Jeep.

“Yes ma’am,” Kelce winked at you before going to help your sister carry in the hundreds of dollars worth of beer she’d made you stop to pick up on the way here.

“You assholes better pay us back,” she told them, passing Topper a couple of 12 packs.

“Okay, give me your sister’s number and I’ll Venmo her right now,” he responded with a smirk.

You actually laughed at that one, which caused his chest to puff out with pride. Boys had always been somewhat of a mystery to you, but these two were painfully easy. Their playfulness helped you relax a little, wondering if this week might not be so bad after all.

Once you were inside, you and Carter each chose your own rooms, all your recently opened trust funds allowing you to rent the biggest house in the neighborhood. After unpacking, you walked down to the beach with Topper, Kelce, a couple of Carter’s girlfriends, and a guy you’d never met.

Topper and Kelce introduced him as their friend from college, a frat brother. His name was Tom, he was on the taller side, brunette, super cute. The way his toned arms flexed in his sleeveless shirt was the first thing you saw, but his bright, dimpled smile is what really caught your attention.

When you told him your name, offering him your hand to shake, he held it for a few seconds longer than any of the other girls and Carter gave you a knowing look. You’d never wished so badly that you knew how to turn off your blush.

Once you got down to the water, you helped Carter set up the umbrella and volleyball net you’d brought. You played intramural volleyball for your college and had actually gotten really good at it, you were excited to play with Carter, who’d always wanted you to get into sports with her.

When everything was set-up, you started to take off the bathing suit cover you had on over your bikini, but quickly realized there was a problem.

“Shit, Car, did we even bring sunscreen?” You asked your sister.

“Fuuuuck,” Carter said with a careless giggle. “Guess we’ll just burn.”

“Um no, I’m not listening to you whine about your sunburn all week,” you scolded her. “Top, did you bring sunscreen?”

“I hate to say no to you, beautiful, but…no,” Topper answered.

“Great, so we have eight hundred Natty Lights but no sunscreen,” you huffed.

“Sounds like a perfect vacation to me,” Kelce joked, already cracking his first beer.

“I brought some sunscreen,” Tom offered helpfully.

“Ah, my hero!” you smiled at him playfully.

You could feel all eyes on you when you said it. None of them had ever seen you flirt so comfortably before, or really even heard you speak. This was the person you were at school, but they had never met her before. You cleared your throat, feeling uncomfortable.

“Could I borrow some?” You asked Tom, who appeared oblivious to the shift in atmosphere.

“Yeah, it’s up at the house, I’ll go grab it!” You watched him run up the beach, his toned back muscles flexing, Carter bumped her hip into yours.

“Five minutes and he’s already whipped for you,” she teased. “Told you this trip was a good idea.”

By the time Rafe finally pulled up to the house in his truck, all the rooms had been claimed except for the shitty basement, with its low ceiling and lone twin sized bed. After dropping his bags, scowling at the mildew smell in the small space, he filled one of the coolers he brought with some imported beers and white claws and headed toward the beach.

“Yo, Top!” He called from the back porch, beckoning Topper up from the beach to help him carry the heavy cooler.

“Jesus, what you got in here?”  Topper grunted, struggling to lift his side of the cooler.

“Nicer shit than anything you brought,” Rafe said. “I’m not drinking cheap gas station beers all week.”

“Fine by me man,” Topper added a second hand to the cooler to help him lift it.

As they carried the cooler down the beach, Rafe mocking Topper for his inability to lift his share of the weight, Rafe scanned the private section of the beach to take a manual headcount of his housemates for the week.

He saw everyone he expected, the same people that would gather at the island club every time there was a break from school, the party always finding its way back to Tannyhill. The same girls that hung around him and his friends in high school, Carter, who he had never gotten along with, Kelce, who he had seen just last week, and…someone he didn’t recognize.

The mystery girl was facing away from him, but he could still tell she was gorgeous. Her bathing suit wrap hugging her body, her shiny, bouncy hair flowing in the ocean breeze. She bent down to set up her beach chair and he nearly dropped the cooler. 

“Woah, man,” Topper laughed. “Now who’s got butterfingers?”

“Who is that?” Rafe asked sternly, ignoring Topper’s harassment. 

“Dude, are you serious?” Topper eyed him.

Before Rafe could ask what Topper meant, you turned around, looking up towards the house in his direction, shielding the sun from your eyes and smiling a big, beautiful smile.

This time, Rafe really did drop the cooler. It was you. He hadn’t seen you in four years, and nobody told him you were coming on this trip. Nobody told him you looked like that now, either.

Everything that happened between you was so long ago, but he assumed you still hated him. But now, you were looking right at him and smiling. His lips started to turn upward for a moment and he almost lifted his hand to wave at you, when someone bumped into his shoulder.

“Shit, my bad man,” Tom said, his eyes not even looking at Rafe, glued to you. He ran off and approached you, and Rafe realized with a punch to his gut, it was this random guy you were smiling at and not him.

Rafe and Topper dragged the cooler a bit farther down the beach, dropping it behind all the umbrellas. Rafe immediately grabbed one of his expensive IPAs and twisted it open, throwing back a sip bitterly as he watched Tom hand you something, you smiled and touched his arm gratefully.

Carter approached the boys and the cooler, following Rafe’s eyes to you. She twisted her lips, trying to hide her smile, everything about this day going exactly as she had planned.

“Hey, Rafe,” She smirked. “You good?”

Rafe looked at her, eyes narrow as he tried to catch her meaning. When he realized she had caught him staring, he cleared his throat and took another sip of his beer, trying to seem nonchalant. 

“Fine,” he mumbled.

Rafe reached in the cooler and grabbed a white claw, offering it to Carter. Things had always been chilly between them, though they’d still been cordial with each other. Aside from that big argument senior year which they never talked about. Now, it hung in the salty air so prevalently, your presence after all this time stirring up old tensions.

Carter accepted the drink with a thank you, cracking it open and looking back to you. Both Carter and Rafe’s eyes went wide when you took off your cover-up, revealing a barely-there bikini and the new body none of your high school friends had seen yet. 

Everyone on the private beach was staring at you, but Rafe was staring at you, his knuckles going white around his beer as he eyed you up and down. His heart pounded so loudly in his chest he was afraid Carter and Topper would be able to hear it. Then, when you handed Tom the sunscreen and asked him to rub it on your back, an unfamiliar feeling bubbled in Rafe’s stomach and crawled up to his chest. He glared at Topper.

“Who the fuck is that guy?” He barked.

Carter and Topper’s heads both snapped towards him, neither surprised to hear the usual edge in his voice, though while Topper looked at Rafe with concern, Carter’s face only portrayed pure amusement.

“Who, Tom?” Topper asked, watching as Rafe’s eyeline returned to you, starting to catch on to the source of Rafe’s irritability. “He’s a brother from Alpha Tau.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a high school reunion trip,” Rafe snapped at him.

“Wow, someone’s pressed,” Carter beamed at him, delighted in his discomfort.

“I’m fine, just didn’t know we could invite people, that’s all,” he insisted.

“Sure, Rafey, that’s all,” she goaded him.

Rafe and Carter gave each other a knowing look, Topper’s eyes flashing between them, utterly out of the loop.

“What did I miss?” He prodded.

“Nothing,” Carter assured him. “Let’s play chicken, you’re on my team, Topper.”

“Oh hell yes,” he dashed after her like an excited puppy.

Rafe ignored the interaction, eyes glued to you in the distance as you settled into your beach chair and pulled out a book, Tom leaving your side and heading toward the water to join the game that had started. Rafe smiled, of course you were reading while everyone else was partying. Maybe you hadn’t changed that much after all. 

The spine of the brand new book cracked as you opened it, you sighed happily, loving the sound. You rarely ever got to read just for fun, always so busy with schoolwork, and you were so excited to dig into the fluffy romance you’d bought off tiktok and turn your brain off.

But then, just as your eyes grazed over the first sentence, you heard a voice from behind you that made your sun-kissed skin go cold.

“Whatcha readin’?” Rafe asked, his tall frame casting a shadow over your sunbathing spot.

You had pretended not to see him when he arrived a few minutes ago, throwing your attention at Tom instead, who took it happily, no idea that he was just a distraction from the flips your stomach was doing at Rafe’s arrival. You actually thought for a minute you might be able to avoid him this whole trip, but of course, he was pouncing as soon as you were alone. He always preferred talking to you when no one was around, sharing hours of meaningful late night conversations together, yet ignoring you at parties and in the halls at school as if you barely knew each other.

You closed the book slowly and placed it in your lap, any clever words you had to say to him flew suddenly from your brain. Regret swept over you, it was foolish to think you could pretend to be unaffected by his presence. He’d said two words to you and you were already nervous, overthinking every movement you made.

When you didn’t answer him, Rafe took it upon himself to plop down in the beach chair next to you, leaning over to read the title of your book.

“Is it any good?” You still didn’t look at him, but you could hear the teasing smile in his voice.

“Wouldn’t know,” you looked down at your lap. “Just started it.”

“Well let me know what you think, might need to borrow it,” he kept his eyes on you, running over your body, making his own face go warm.

“Since when do you read?” You finally lifted your eyes to him.

Rafe’s jaw went slightly slack, all the swagger he’d brought on this trip with him suddenly disappearing. You were even prettier up close, your features more defined and striking than he remembered.

“People can change,” he finally mustered up, less bravado in his voice.

You gave yourself exactly three seconds to look at him, eyes sweeping quickly over his nose, lips, chin, anything but his eyes. His eyes were like a prison you’d once been held in, and you swore you’d never go back.

After your three seconds were up, you shifted your gaze to the ocean, hating that you wished you had three more to take him in. He was just as, if not more, gorgeous as you remembered. His features somehow sharp and soft at the same time. His lips pink and soft, skin a golden bronze even though the summer had just started. His hair was a little shorter now, but still long enough to stick up in the back in that messy way you liked.

The familiar red hue crept up your neck slowly, making its way to your cheekbones. You needed him to get up and leave you alone before you broke into an all out blush. You picked up your book and pretended to start reading again.

“You should go play with everyone else, looks like Kelce could use someone on his team,” you threw out, hoping he’d take the hint.

“What if I’d rather stay here and talk to you?” He asked, voice dropping just a hint.

You thought you could handle this, but you couldn’t. Was he seriously flirting with you right now? If you knew Rafe, the second you tried to flirt back, he’d grow uninterested and blow you off. With him, it was always like he convinced you to jump off a cliff with him, but then at the last second, he’d step back, watching apathetically as you fell all alone.

“I need to go unpack,” you said, standing from your chair and grabbing your book and beach bag, knowing full well your stuff was already neatly sorted in your room.

He looked up at you as you collected your stuff, and you hated the way you were sucking in your stomach. You spent four years working hard to love your body the way it was, and now, in front of him, all that self-consciousness came flooding back. 

You hurried away, catching Carter’s eye as you beelined for the house.

“Where are you going?” She said, slightly out of breath by the time she caught up to you.

“I can’t do this,” you explained, still walking fast.

“Wait,” she grabbed your arm, causing you to halt, hot sand burning your feet. “What happened?”

“He’s here,” you didn’t have to explain any further for her to understand.

“I know,” she said sympathetically. “But we knew he would be. We’re gonna ignore him, remember?”

“I don’t think I can, Car,” you sighed. “I think I should just go.” 

“No, please please please don’t go,” she begged. “I need you here. And you were having fun before, right? Tom’s cute! Just hang out with us and tell Rafe to go fuck himself.”

“That sounds more like something you’d say than me,” you smiled at her.

“Okay, fine,” she agreed. “I’ll tell him to fuck himself and to leave you alone.”

“No, don’t, I don’t want to cause any drama,” you requested.

“Well I think storming out twenty minutes after we got here would be pretty dramatic,” she argued.

Your lips in a tight line, you gave her an annoyed look, but she did kind of have a point. Everyone would ask why you left, and how would Carter explain it to them? Plus, you didn’t want to give Rafe the satisfaction of knowing he affected you this much.

“We’re about to play volleyball,” Carter said. “Come show them what a beast you are now! And then after you kick everyone’s ass, if you’re still miserable, you can leave and I’ll tell everyone you got sick.”

You squinted back at the group on the beach, considering her offer. Topper and Kelce were wrestling in the sand, somehow both losing. You smiled affectionately at their antics, you were really enjoying hanging out with them before Rafe got here.

“Okay, fine,” you agreed. “One game.”

It took half of one volley for you to get comfortable, head fully in the game. You were tempted to put your cover-up back on before playing, well aware of Rafe’s eyes on you through the net, but you decided not to, determined to love yourself the same way you had grown to when you thought you’d never see him again.

Tom was on Rafe’s team, also eyeing you through the net, but with a much more innocent, friendly expression.

“You’re pretty good!” He said when you’d spiked a ball into the sand right next to him.

“Thank you,” you smiled sweetly. “I play at school.”

“Hey man, stop flirting with our opponent and focus,” Rafe snapped at him from the serving line.

Tom just raised his eyebrows at you in amusement and mouthed “I’m in trouble.” You giggled and Rafe seethed, slamming the ball so hard on his next serve that his hand was red. 

After a few more volleys, you had rotated until you and Rafe were face to face across the net again. As you waited for one of your sister’s friends, Sabrina, to make her third attempt at serving, Rafe eyed you up and down.

“You look good,” he said quietly, so only you could hear.

It lit a fire in you, but not the one he was hoping for. You locked-in, bent low in a competitive stance, ready for the setter to tee you up. When Sabrina finally made her serve, you went all out, diving in the sand and running all over the court to keep the ball in play. Rafe’s athletic instincts took over, and he met every one of your attempts to score with a firm block. Eventually, your lungs burning with your heavy breathing, Rafe spiked the ball and you slipped in the sand, letting it get past you and land next to your feet with a thud.

You looked up at Rafe, who was high fiving his teammates and looking down at you with a smirk. He ducked under the net and reached out a hand to help you up.

“Sorry, kid,” he grinned as he lifted you to your feet. “I’m just that good.”

Kid. It all came back as you stared at him. The hours spent in your car, waiting for him dutifully. All the late night texts that meant everything to you and nothing to him. The cheek kisses and side hugs that fueled your fantasies. His hands around Cassie’s waist as he kissed her in broad daylight, though he’d only talk to you behind closed doors. 

Your cheeks turned red as they so often did, but this time, it wasn’t from embarrassment, it was from anger. He wouldn’t make you feel small anymore, you wouldn’t let him.

You turned to your team to fire them up, “let’s go, fucking lock in guys! You got me Top?”

Topper nodded with excitement, loving your new energy, as he got ready for his turn to serve.

“Fuck yeah, I got you, captain,” he saluted you.

Topper served. Rafe tried to dominate again but you were two seconds ahead of him on every play. Now it was you that had him diving around in the sand like an idiot. The smug smile wiped from his face, his jaw now clenched in frustration as he grunted with effort every time he hit the ball.

You were on fire, un-fucking-stoppable. After a few more volleys, your team was winning, one point from game.

You wiped the back of your hand across your forehead and down your neck, flicking off the sweat that had pooled. You felt two sets of eyes on you, Tom’s and Rafe’s, but you didn’t care, laser focused on your next play. When you lifted off the ground, body stretching to reach for the ball, you threw every frustration into the hit, hand colliding with the ball as hard as it could. Rafe dove, but he couldn’t get it, he crashed down hard, sand flying in his face as he whiffed, and you won the game.

Your side of the net broke into cheers, high fiving and whooping obnoxiously. Tom approached the net to offer his sportsmanlike congratulations, but you didn’t notice him, already making your way towards Rafe, who still sat defeated on the ground, eyes burning from the sand.

He smiled as you approached, reaching out his hand, thinking you were gonna help him up. But you just stepped around him, bending down, lowering your voice so only he could hear as you said,

“Sorry, kid, but I’m better.”

You left him sitting there, hand reaching for nobody like an idiot, dumbstruck and down bad as you sauntered up the beach.

(chapter 2)

a/n: I know I literally just posted the prologue but I didn't want to wait to get into the actual story. I'd love to hear what you think and where you want to see the story go! xoxo

please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 💕

[grimm-writings]

pathetic

…ft! dan heng, topaz, argenti, seele x gn! reader

…tags! fluff, pining, reader is oblivious as HELL!!!, seele’s slightly suggestive

…wc! 210 ; 319 ; 258 ; 305 = 1092

…notes! pathetic crushing… i cannot and will not ever stop vouching for pathetic pining in this house !!!!!!!

Dan Heng is painfully aware of how he looks right now.  If it wasn’t March giving him the biggest shit-eating grin, it was Himeko trying hard to look polite as she hides her giggles, or even Mr Yang pretending he isn’t paying attention.

You.  You really haven’t the slightest clue what you’re doing to him.

Every time you visit him in the Express’s archives, Dan Heng would light up.  He wouldn’t do that for any such person usually.  His excuse is that you bring him snacks.  You would never complain, saying that you’d take this Dan Heng over the one with a poker face and sarcastic bites, even if he is just as cute.

How can you say that so casually?

One particular visit, he couldn’t take your sweet words any longer.  His hand envelops yours before you could turn away from him.  The way you look back at Dan Heng makes his heart swell in ways he couldn’t comprehend.

He couldn’t get the words out.

His grip loosens and he lets you go, albeit with confusion on your face.

The door closes with a quiet goodbye, and Dan Heng throws his head back in frustration, staring at the decorated ceiling above him.

How can he go on like this...?

Topaz is not the kind of person to sit idly by waiting for something to happen.  She knows what she wants, and what she wants takes the shape of you.

You’re just so adorable!  Really, the way you act so clueless whenever you flirt with her is just so endearing!  How could she not melt?

…Well, it used to be easy.  Flirting, complimenting you, relishing in how you react; she even asked you out to dinner, and took you to the nicest place possible!  …But you’re still so shocked every time.  You still didn’t pick up on any of her advances.

For once, Topaz is at a complete loss.  What is she to do?  Grab you by the shoulders and shake you around telling you that she’s completely enamoured with everything about you, and though that includes your cluelessness, she can’t take much of it anymore?

She could nearly keel over.  Complete overkill.  She needs to be smart about this; clear, but also suave and mature.  Yeah, she can do this!

That’s how you find Numby making their way up to you, and there they drop a card in front of your feet.  They curiously look up at you as you read, although you could sense another pair of eyes watching you closely.

‘You’re cute!  Go out with me!  Love, Topaz!’

Topaz could nearly explode from joy watching your face heat up.  Finally.  Finally!  You get it now, don’t you?!

Her heart steps as you throw the card away and lean down and pet Numby.  “Oh, Numby.  Someone must have put you up to this for a prank, huh?  You should find your way back to Topaz!”

Said companion of the Warp Trotter has already fallen to her knees with her face in her hands.  You’re more work than she bargained for… but she’ll be struck down by an Aeon before she gives up on you!  Just watch her!

Argenti doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Truly, he’s making all the right moves.  He’s following examples from stories and myths, step by step.  It’s not his fault that they always end up going wrong somehow.  Maybe it’s just harsh luck…

He’s on one knee, taking your hand in his own.  Like you are royalty, he kisses the back of it, and looks up at you.

“Thank you for saving me!”  You beam, and Argenti’s brain freezes.

That’s how it all goes wrong, every single time.

He’s hopeless, how the knight of beauty stands up, turns around, and immediately feels his knees buckle and he’s down on the ground again.  Maybe he’ll stay like this for a few minutes when he finishes crying.

He feels you kneel at his side, and prod against his armour.  “Argenti…?” your sweet, sweet voice calls out to him quietly.

“Worry not.  I am simply fighting the dirt in your honour.  Keeping the worms off of you.”

You pause.  He wouldn’t dislike being buried here like this.  Then he hears your confused laughter.  “Alright then!  Thank you very much, sir knight!”

You pet his hair and stand up again, making your way back to a safe zone.

Yes, Argenti thinks, I will stay here and fend off the insects for you, my dear.  And that is the only reason why I can’t move…

He certainly refuses to believe it’s your patience and kindness.  How silly would it be for a knight of beauty to become so immobilised by it!  How silly indeed…

Seele encourages you to stand up again.  A simple sparring doesn’t do too much harm every now and again.  She isn’t Luka; she won’t beg you for a match, but practice is good, and practice is better if it’s with a friend.

Haha.  Keep telling yourself that, Seele. 

Is it obvious yet she really wants you to just defeat her already?  She knows you have it in you.  Yeah, you’re more on the air-headed side, but you’re a reliable teammate!  Maybe it’s the fact you refuse to actually hurt her…

You apologise again when you’re back on your feet.  She doesn’t want any apologies, dang you!  Can’t you see she’s just desperate to get you to at least brush your knuckles against hers as her scythe comes in conflict with your blade?!

…So that does it.  In her mental ramblings, you manage to get her on the ground beneath you.  Your thighs cage her under you as you push her down.  Aeons, your smile is so wide.

“I got you!” you exclaim.

Seele can’t help the small laugh that escapes her.  She hopes that her face is only red to you because of your fighting.  You’re so close to her face.  You could just kiss her right now…

“Yep, you really did!” is what comes out, shakier than she would have liked.  How did you get her so weak?  You’re not even making a big deal over straddling her like this…

You shimmy off her eventually, offering your hand out.  “Time for lunch?”

Seele doesn’t move for a few seconds, before letting you pick her up.  If not a kiss, she can at least get some quality time.  The way you smile at her is enough for her.

…How you pushed her down will definitely haunt her dreams for the next week or so, though.

[jweekgoji]

You can do Transformers Earthspark Megatron x Female reader where both were conjux but are divorced, the reader is only with the autobots so as not to be in the cells also that both had a sparkling but who is with the weckers, let's say that the relationship between Megatron and the reader was nice at first but everything changed in the war, Megatron treated the reader and her Sparkling badly, let's say that now the reader doesn't like to be around Megatron especially when she sees how he treats Twich like a daughter, but Megatron still wants to have something with Reader

Megatron/Femme!Reader [TFES]

tw: brief mentions of past trauma, past toxic relationships, guilt. additional tags: Cybertronian!Reader, Femme!Reader word count: ~1,9k a/n: I liked how they handled Starscream and Megatron's dialogue in s1, too bad it was wasted.

You had no right to be angry with the terrans. Born in this strange world, far from the home planet, they had no idea who they were or what their fate would be. To most humans, they were nothing but a threat. To your race, they were the only ray of hope for the future.

So why can't you still look away from them without a twinge of anger deep within your spark? Why is it that every time a small, scarlet terran tries to learn more about you, you throw that sharp, irritated look in her direction?

Another, yet another, long, languid day at the former G.H.O.S.T base, which has received a small rebranding, now completely at the disposal of the Autobots. You are completely focused on the monitor screen in front of your optics, your fingertips gently pressing each key.

You have no desire whatsoever to spend your entire attention on this useless waste of time. You would gladly leave this Primus-damned planet if you could.

And yet, you're happy to forget about everything around you for a second. That constant, loud laughter under your pedes when one of the Malto family runs past you, chasing after one of their siblings. Arcee tried to crack a joke or two whenever you two passed each other. Prime, for some reason, has decided that you need his painfully pathetic speeches about how if you need any help, you can always go to him.

It would seem that only Elita, of all the veterans, could understand you in any way.

You would gladly spend cycles alone with any of them on an island far from civilisation, only if it meant you would never have to see him again.

“Will you teach me some new moves in the air?” Twitch sits on Megatron's shoulder, looking at the older mech with her those big, yellow optics. “That moves with your arm cannon really inspired me!”

The little Terran blatantly thrusts her arm forward, automatically, activating her own weapon. A quiet scoff escaped from Megatron as he watches over the drone, noting her usual excited and very determined expression. Out of all the group, she seems to be taking the leader's role the most.

“If you promise not to shoot anyone here,” he gently reaches for Twitch, using his pointing finger to lower her arm cannon down, a soft smile plastered on his face.

The crimson terran's optics are focusing on Megatron's own, before she quickly glances towards you, the miniature pair of rotor wings bristling in admiration.

“And— we can take (...) with us too! I heard you two were an amazing pair back on Cybertron!” Twitch carefully stands up before starting to circle around in the air.

It's hard not to notice how much the young terran seeks to hold her deep respect for you, despite the clear ignorance you show her every single time she tries to speak with you. That naive childish adoration is cute, in some way, reminding you of the time when your own sparkling was once as bold and trusting as her.

You really shouldn't hold the grudge against her just because you feel that twisted sense of jealousy because of what you dreamed of so much, but never had the chance to get it.

Megatron's red optics track the terran across the room, only to lock onto your frame, once you were mentioned. He felt a pang of regret every single time he saw you. The memories of your shared past never left the impact on his mind, even though he tried so hard to get over it. For both yours and his sake too.

‘It's been countless solar cycles, Megatron. Don't make it harder for her,’ Optimus' words ringing in his mind. If only it was that easy.

He should have just focused on his own job, dealing with what is left of his past troops, the leftover of G.H.O.S.T's impact, but would it actually help him? To dig his own sick guilt and remorse somewhere deep down, in some naive hopes that everything can just magically go back to how it was? To pretend that it's fine to forget and run away from your past mistakes?

No, it wouldn't be fair to himself. Not to mention, everything he did against you was never fair to you in the first place. Shaking his helm, Megatron tries to reach for the terran, tell her that it's not the time now, and later, he will give her all his time and attention to guide the young one in her path.

That was, until Twitch wrapped her tiny servos around your own, looking up at you with those same optics she gave to Megatron, as if hoping she could somehow warm up your cold spark to her, to make you forget of whatever held you down from accepting her.

Poor thing. Thinking she is somehow the core source of your problems, even though she has no idea what exactly she has done, except for just being born in the wrong place and time.

“Please? I promise to listen, ma'am!” Twitch slightly, tightens her hold on your servo, the smile still as innocent as ever.

The tension is palpable. For just a moment, the three of you don't let out a single word. Everyone was focused on you, and only you stood in the center of their attention.

You sigh, looking towards the young terran right next to you. It will pain you to deny her, you think, but it is for the best as you try to reassure yourself once again.

“Twitch, you shouldn't—” Megatron tries to step out towards you and get the terran back away from you, only to be interrupted by your own voice.

“I'm afraid I can't help you with that for now, Twitch,” you say, using this calm, soft motherly voice of yours. “But be aware. Not everyone here deserves your trust.”

That smile slowly drops from Twitch's face as soon as she sees you pulling away from her, her little servos grasping the air, once where you were standing. That look you gave her somehow reminded her of her own mother.

Dot would come back after a long day of work, welcomed by the whole family, and despite how tired and overworked she was, she never dared to let them know about it. Muscles tense, aching and begging for rest, and constant headache from dealing with some people seem to never leave her alone. And yet, she still kept her smile. Still has the strength to use that sweet voice of hers every time she speaks to the young Maltos.

Even then...why did you look with nothing but hatred and disgust towards Megatron?

The quiet shut of the door left only Megatron and Twitch standing in the room. The little one slowly stepped down on the ground, blinking a few times in confusion. She still couldn't take her gaze away from the door, as if hoping that you might come back and join them after all.

“What...what did I do wrong?” she asks quietly, the question hanging in the air.

Megatron clenched his teeth, trying to suppress his own anger— no, he had no right to be angry. That was the truth after all, isn't it? None of the terrans knew what actually happened before, when he was the leader of the Decepticons, the infamous warlord responsible for the deaths of thousands, if not much more, innocent lives.

He deserves to feel that pain; the cold truth will always hurt, no matter how much he tries to numb the harsh, stabbing feeling inside his spark. Hearing it from you, for some reason, always felt the worst.

Slowly, he lowers himself to one knee, looking down at Twitch, as if silently trying to apologize, for what had happened. No one was supposed to be involved in this conflict.

“Don't trouble your mind with these thoughts, little bird,” Megatron gently lifts her chin with a single digit, making the young terran look up at him. “I promise to come back to you as soon as I can.”

If only he had told you the same before and reassured you with the same care he held deep for his mentee.

It was so confusing. Watching every single day, how soft and attentive the ex-warlord can be for a sparkling that were not even his, and yet, abandoning his family for his own cruel ambitions.

Standing outside the autobots' base, you at least had some bits of privacy that was left up to you. No one to judge, no one to stare with these sorry optics, with nothing but pity in them.

Primus seems to be especially disappointed with you today, taking away the only peace and quiet you had for today.

“You can hate and despise me however you want, I would never have held it against you,” the familiar, deep voice is quick to disturb your thoughts, but this time, somehow softer.

Megatron takes a few slow steps, stopping right behind you, but not daring to come any closer. He would be grateful if you even stayed to listen to him without running out the first second you spot him in your proximity.

There is a brief pause between the two of you, followed by nothing but your sinister silence. Not even a single drop of respect for him, as you didn't even look back at your ex-conjunx.

“But please,” the word sounds so foreign coming from him; for a moment, you even amuse yourself thinking he really changed. “Don't take it out on them.”

You feel your right optic twitch at that.

“Is that the only thing you wanted to talk with me about?” you finally speak, turning to face the silver mech who stood tall next to you. “And you have the audacity of asking something from me?”

Such hypocrisy. It doesn't help you feel any better at all once you notice those guilty red optics staring at you, as if reminding you of how small you will look to others, no matter how hard you try to hide behind a mask.

Like you ever needed their pity for you.

The silver mech studies your face. Tired, war-worn, so exhausted, just like his own. You're barely holding back from collapsing from all the responsibilities on your shoulders, both as the ‘autobot’ and the carrier first. He should have never left you alone, but that would be pointless to think about now.

“I won't...try to defend my past mistakes, and I know that there is nothing I can do to erase all the pain I caused to you and to our sparkling,” optics lowered to the ground, expression hardening, trying to gather his own thoughts, before meeting your gaze once again.

“All I want is to let you see how I have changed,” Megatron steps closed, hesitantly, he continues. “Would you give me a chance to make things right for you, my dear?”

A silence.

Megatron feels a flicker of hope in his spark. Lips curled into a small frown, trying to hide his own uncertainty. Cycles before, back in the past, when the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons hadn't struck the Earth, he would have snapped back. He reminded you of your own place underneath him, so you would never even have a single thought of defying him.

But he would never hurt you again, never raise his voice at you— just let him keep you safe from the remnants of the war he once caused; he promises you that. If only you let him show you that.

But then you step back.

“Starscream was right about you,” your voice now, filled with nothing but coldness. “You will always be the same tyrant who once betrayed those who trusted you with their own spark.”

[azrielsdove]

Cold Hearts Pt. 3

Warnings: Slight angst, suggestiveness, vulnerability

Pt. 2 Here

***

Azriel couldn’t sleep. He went to her room after their argument, stopping himself from knocking when he heard the sounds of her crying. Oh, he had made such a mess. Did the bond snap for her too? Was she crying because she was fated to someone who had been so mean to her?

No, Azriel. Stop that. He chided himself, remembering her words in the library. “Are you so self centered that you truly believe everything I do is about you?” Maybe he was. Although, she didn’t give him much reason to think her actions weren’t aimed at him. It wasn’t his fault that she never talked to anyone. He groaned, trying to banish that thought from his mind. He needed to stop blaming her for all of this. He had allowed his own feelings to cloud his judgment, never once stopping to think if there was some other reason why she may act so cold.

Azriel looked at his hands, at the scars tracing the skin. Why had she always stared at them in such a disgusted way? He couldn’t figure that one out. He was confused. Painfully confused. His mind ached with the thoughts running through it, wishing he could just forget everything. He couldn’t figure this out on his own.

He had to find Rhysand.

***

Rhys was not pleased when he opened his door in the dead of night to the Shadowsinger. Though the sleep disappeared from his eyes the second he took in the expression on Azriels face. “What has happened?” He demanded, body tensing as he prepared for the worst.

Azriel simply shook his head, suddenly unsure of what to say. “I-“ He started, “I don’t, I don’t actually know what happened.” He felt ashamed, not ready to admit how he’s been acting unfairly for all these years. Her name fell from his mouth, a quiet plea. “I need to know her story.”

Rhysands lips thinned. “That is not mine to share, Azriel.” He sighed at the distraught look on his friends face, running a hand through his hair. “You have to ask her yourself. She hasn’t even talked about it with me in all this time, and I was the one who found her.” Azriel ducked his head, more guilt piling on top of his shoulders. How bad must it have been for her to not be able to talk about it a hundred years later? Rhys clapped a hand on Azriels shoulder, trying to comfort his friend. “She’s not who she pretends to be. Give her a chance, Az. Let her come to you.” Azriel nodded, thanking him before heading back home.

Let her come to you.

***

READER POV

You woke up before the sun, laying awake in your bed as you planned what you were going to say to Azriel. You never spoke about what happened to you, but you knew you had to at least give him some of the story so he could understand. Understand that it wasn’t his scars that upset you, but your own. That he had never wronged you, it is your mind that’s the curse.

You were scared.

You didn’t know how he would react. You never expected that Azriel would be the one you ended up opening up to. You hardly knew him. Maybe that was better. Or was it worse? You groaned and covered your eyes with your hands, wishing you could make your thoughts make sense. How were you supposed to get through a conversation if you couldn’t even think straight?

You pulled yourself out of bed as the sun began to shine over the horizon, dressing to go find Azriel. You knew he tends to rise early, getting early training sessions in before breakfast. That would be where you looked for him first, then.

You took a deep breath and headed to the training ring.

***

You half expected him to not be there. You weren’t sure if you were happy or disappointed to see him when you entered the ring. You paused in the doorway, slightly hidden from his sight. You watched as he practiced, the way his body moved was almost an art. You had never really looked at the Shadowsinger, always too wrapped up in your own head. You felt your heart quicken while you watched, observing the beauty of him in the early morning sun. You watched as he moved, the muscles rippling on his arms, his wings flaring out slightly. His wings. You felt a sharp pain in your heart, seeing the sun shine through them. You felt the ache of where yours used to be, just as beautiful as his.

You had to make your move now or you were going to talk yourself out of it. You stepped forward, giving a little cough to signal your arrival. Azriel halted, spinning towards you like he’d seen a ghost. He said your name like a question, blankly staring at you. You bowed your head, kicking the sand with your foot. Now that you were here you didn’t know how to start.

You swallowed and looked back up to him. “You’re really good at that.” You blurted out, embarrassment instantly coloring your cheeks. “I mean, I knew you were good. I’d just never watched you like that, moving so freely.” His eyes widened slightly as he looked you over, saying nothing. “N-not that I was like, standing here for long. I just wanted to come talk to you, after last night, and I saw you and I didn’t want to interrupt.” You silently cursed. You were rambling. You needed to get it together. You opened your mouth to speak again before shutting it quickly, leaving room for him to respond.

Azriel looked into your eyes, an interesting expression on his face. “Uh, thank you.” He spoke politely, seemingly unsure of how to talk to you. That made the guilt even worse. You looked down again, staring at the ground like you were hoping it would open up and swallow you. You jumped a little as Azriel started speaking again; “I’m sorry, for what I said. It wasn’t fair of me to lash out at you like that.” You looked up in shock, not really expecting him to apologize.

“No, i’m sorry. I see now how my actions made you think I was being unnecessarily cruel. The truth is, I-“, You stopped. You couldn’t do this. You felt your throat closing up, the panic threatening to overtake your body. Azriel seemed to sense it too, stepping close to you.

“Hey, hey, you don’t owe me any explanation. I was only thinking about myself, you were right.” You could tell he wanted to reach out and touch you, comfort you. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to or not.

You took a breath, clearing your mind. “Azriel,” you started, forcing calm through your body, “I have scars of my own. Like yours.” You looked into his eyes, gauging his reaction.

He nodded, hands fidgeting at his side. “I see.” He said quietly, gaze flitting over your body. “Where at?” The question was barely a whisper, and you almost pretended you didn’t hear.

But that would not be beneficial to anyone.

“Here.” You said softly, turning your back to him and beginning to raise your shirt.

“You don’t have to show me.” He spoke quickly, hands covering yours, stilling their movements. You sucked in a surprised breath at the contact, mind going temporarily blank.

“It’s okay. I want you to see.” You finally said, pulling your hands out from under his. “You can lift it the rest of the way.”

You shivered as the morning breeze ran over your newly exposed skin, his hands raising the back of your shirt up slowly. You heard the sharp intake of air as he saw the jarring, burnt stumps where your wings used to be. All was quiet for a moment, Azriel taking in the damage in front of him.

“Who did this to you?” His voice was harsh, anger dripping from every word. You were mortified at the fire that ran under your skin at his tone. You pulled away to look at him, taking in his darkened eyes.

“They were dealt with.” Was all you said, not sure how much you were ready to reveal. Azriel could sense your hesitation, giving a curt nod.

“By Rhysand?” He asked.

“Yes.” You whispered.

“Good. I know he didn’t make it pleasant for them.” His eyes were a raging fire.

“It was my father.” You suddenly said, not even realizing you had decided to tell him. “And my soon-to-be-husband.”

If you thought you had seen anger on Azriels face before, you were wrong. Pure rage ran over him, every muscle in his body tensing. You took a small step back in fear, having never seen him like this. “Azriel?” You whispered out, trying to bring him back down.

“Let me see them again.” He commanded, turning you around. You allowed him to lift your shirt again, shuddering when one of his hands lightly traced the scars on your back. “Is this okay?” He whispered, breath fanning over your ear.

You could only nod, unable to handle all the different emotions coursing through you.

Azriels hand traced your scars for what felt like forever, but was probably only a minute. When he was done he pressed both of his hands to your back, letting your shirt fall over all the scars between the two of you. Your skin was tingling at the contact, a part of you never wanting this to end. You didn’t realize that you were sinking back into Azriels touch until his hands slid down and around to your waist, your back hitting his chest.

You jumped away from him, every inch of you buzzing from his hands. What was wrong with you?

You turned to face him, not wanting him to think you were upset. “Sorry I, it’s been- it’s been a long time since anyone has, since I have, I haven’t-“ You stuttered out, your words jumbling together and making no sense. You slid your hands down the front of your shirt, trying to soothe your racing heart. “That’s all to say, uh, I haven’t had much physical contact in a, a long time.” You pushed a piece of your hair out of your face, trying to read Azriel. “Not that, not that I didn’t like it, I just, it’s been…a while.” You wanted to melt into the ground. You were making it so much worse.

He laughed. A warm, welcoming sound. You couldn’t help but smile as he did, feeling warm all the way to the tips of your toes. “It’s okay,” he said, his tone turning serious. “I shouldn’t have kept going, you just seemed so calm and I didn’t want that feeling to fade.”

Oh. Oh. A wave of emotion crashed into you at his words, your vision growing blurry. He cared about you. Somehow, after the way you’ve acted towards him for so long, he cared.

Azriel was too good.

You had to say something, needing to break the silence that was now growing. “The children,” you began, “You saw me teaching them.” He nodded, signaling you to continue. “After all that happened, Amarantha, the attack on Velaris, Hybern, I wanted to make sure our youngest could protect themselves. Training had made me feel strong, before…” you trailed off, gesturing to your back. Azriels eyes grew sharp for a moment, understanding what you meant. “Anyway, I asked Rhys if I could train them. I figured I wasn’t doing much else, and I know enough from you and Cassian that I could teach them basic maneuvers. I love children, I used to dream of having my own with Ga-“ You stopped yourself, horror flooding through your bones. You hadn’t said his name since he heartlessly sliced your wings off.

Azriel noticed the fear start to take over, gently reaching out and grabbing your hands between his. “He can’t hurt you anymore.” He said softly, running his thumbs soothingly over your skin.

“Yea, yea I know.” You mumbled, looking at your hands in his. You cleared your throat, connecting your eyes back with his. “I wanted them to feel safe. That they can protect themselves. It gives me a small piece of hope, that even if something happened they could defend themselves through it.” You felt a tear slide down your cheek, not realizing you had started crying. You pulled one hand from Azriels, wiping it away.

“That is a selfless thing you are doing, training them. I wish one of us had thought of that long ago.” He said, squeezing your remaining hand. You smiled softly at him, not trusting yourself to speak again.

***

It had been a few weeks since your talk with Azriel, something changing between you that day. You now stood with him in front of your students, their little faces lit up with excitement. You had promised to bring the Shadowsinger to them, and their excitement at having a “real warrior” was almost overpowering. You weren’t sure he was going to say yes when you asked, knowing he tends to stay on the quiet side. You almost kissed him when he agreed right away.

Almost.

You couldn’t deny the feelings in your heart as you grew closer to him. They scared you as much as they excited you. You never thought you would feel this way about anyone ever again, especially with the dark shadow of what happened the last time you felt this way looming over you.

Azriel was different, you kept telling yourself. He would never be as evil as Gannon had been. Azriel was a better soul, a soul who knew the pain you’d gone through all too well. You looked up at him, smiling at the nervous look on his face.

“Take it away, Shadowsinger.”

***

The class had been an incredible success. The children loved Azriel, and he seemed to enjoy them just as much. He was able to teach them some defense tricks you hadn’t known, smiling broadly as the littlest of the group caught on the quickest. You were so proud of your students, so inspired by their drive to learn.

Watching one of the little girls run up to him at the end of class and wrap her arms around his legs did something irreparable to your heart. Azriel bent down, scooping her into his arms. “You did amazing, little warrior.” He said, her smile so bright it could contend with the sun. You walked over and pulled the girl out of his arms, giving her a hug of your own before setting her down. “Go on, now. Your mother is waiting at the door.” You watched as she ran to her mother, sending the female a smile as she collected her daughter.

Once everyone had cleared out you began closing all the windows and locking up for the afternoon. You finished pulling the last curtain down, heading over to make sure all the paperwork was done at your desk. You checked to make sure there weren’t any new students joining the next class, marking down those who came today. You were so engrossed in your work you didn’t notice Azriel come stand behind you until you finished and turned, slamming right into his chest. His hands went to your hips to stabilize you, laughing. You tried and failed to glare up at him, a loud laugh coming from you a second later.

When the laughter subsided you looked up at him. His hands hadn’t moved from your hips, and yours hadn’t moved from his chest. “You did great with them,” you said, cutting the tension. Azriel smiled, a hand coming to brush your hair behind your ear.

“They were easy. Their teacher must be an angel.” His words were heavy, his eyes distracted. His hand cupped the side of your face, angling your head up to him.

Your heart was going to beat out of your chest.

For a long few seconds the two of you stood there, daring the other to make the first move. Your resolves broke at the same time, surging forward to join in a heated, desperate kiss. He lifted you up onto the desk behind you, the hand on your hip dropping to grip your thigh as he stepped between your legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You needed him as close as possible, your body was calling to his. You felt like your heart was pulling him in, a golden string almost tying you to him. You saw it in your mind as he kissed you, feeling that string tighten in your chest.

No, not a string.

A bond.

You gasped, pulling away from the kiss. You were rendered speechless as the bond snapped for you, your eyes wide with shock. Azriel looked panicked for a moment, looking at you with concern. “Are you okay? Was it too much, I understand if you’d-“ You cut him off with another kiss.

“Mate.” You whispered against his lips, his body stilling under your touch. Oh gods, did he not know? Did he not want the bond? Did you just fuck it all-

All thoughts were interrupted by Azriels mouth pressed hot against yours. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say it.” He growled into your skin, biting your bottom lip. You moaned at his touch, at his kiss, at your mate. The one thing you were convinced you would never find. He’d been right in front of your eyes all this time, both of you too wrapped up in yourselves to truly see each other.

You tightened your hold around Azriel, one of your hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He groaned into your mouth at your touch, a sly smile on your face. You felt whole as his hand slid under your shirt and up your back. You didn’t flinch when his scars touched yours, embracing the vulnerability you shared. The scars that had haunted you now a connection to the one who was made for you.

For the first time in your life, you felt truly safe.

***

I hope this ending was satisfying for you all!! I am blown away by the amount of support on this mini series. I really enjoyed writing it, challenging myself to bring hard emotions into it. Please let me know what you think of this ending, I can’t tell how I feel about it! I rewrote it several times, I couldn’t figure out which direction I wanted it to go. I appreciate and love ALL of your comments on this, and I hope you come back to read some of my other works too <3

[junelovesaz]

Unspoken words

Note: Hey loves! I'm sorry for disappearing again, I was on vacation, and I'm terrible at managing my time. I finished my first semester at university and have started the second one (send help, please 💀), so all the accumulated stress made me want to write. Thank you for taking the time to read this! 💙💙 I'm sorry if it's a mess, but I hope it entertains you a bit! I've discovered that I enjoy writing angst, so I think that's my path.

P.S.: Azriel will always make me sigh, but I admit that Cassian is my favorite bat boy, so I'll include him everywhere.

Anyway, I love you all!💙💙 Every like and reblog is appreciated! Just a reminder that English isn't my first language, so if there's any mistake, don't hesitate to tell me!

Words: 1k+

Warnings: None, just angst

Summary: The reader saw at the family dinner how Azriel and Elain worked together. It made something inside her stir, and the feelings she had been hiding became painfully unbearable.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the Mother.

It was the only thought that came to mind before I dodged Cassian's blow. My reflexes definitely weren't at their best today, and we both knew it. So, I just rolled my eyes at the smug smile on Cassian's face.

I had slept less than three hours because every time I closed my eyes, the image I so desperately wanted to get out of my mind was the only thing I saw. So, I had tossed and turned in bed until dawn, which is why my body was so exhausted and dodging blows felt like torture. I wasn't even trying to attack him, just to hold my ground. That's how pathetic I was being today.

I didn't even anticipate Cassian's move until I felt his legs sweeping mine out from under me, and my back hit the ground. I gasped as the air left my lungs and let out a groan from the impact.

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" I heard his voice ask before his wings spread out above me, shielding my eyes from the direct sunlight.

I sighed, exhausted, and gave up, stretching my arms out and relaxing my muscles. He just crossed his arms and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Since when are you so bad at fighting?"

I huffed and pulled my limbs in until I was sitting up. "Don't feed your ego too much. I'm just not having a good day."

I felt him scrutinize me with his eyes, narrowing them before he sighed and dropped his body next to mine.

"What's going on?" he asked softly, even his hazel eyes had turned gentler.

I could tell him, I knew I could, just as I knew he would keep quiet. But verbalizing what I felt, how I felt, would make everything more real.

"It's nothing. It's just my head, you know" I lied, downplaying it.

Cassian stayed silent next to me for a few seconds before I felt his hand press my shoulder. Of course, he had read the lie.

I sighed. Maybe I could tell him what I had seen yesterday, the connection between a certain shadow singer and the youngest Archeron sister at dinner, but telling him would mean explaining why it affected me so much.

"It's nothing, Cass. It's just that…" I paused to think a bit. "Have you ever felt cornered? Like you're running away from something you don't want to face… But once everything happens before your eyes, there's nowhere left to run."

I looked at him uncertainly, trying to hide the feeling of desperation and sadness. He came closer to me and put one of his arms around my shoulders, ignoring how sweaty we both were, before giving me a look of understanding and nodding gently.

"It's not a pleasant feeling" he agreed. "But I also know that if there's no place left to run, all you can do is face it, or whatever is haunting you will devour you."

"It's not that simple."

"It never is," was his only response before he shrugged "Being over five hundred years old doesn't make things easier."

"It's just that…" I swallowed thickly and finally decided to show him my vulnerable side. "Yesterday…"

However, before I could utter a word, the sound of boots hitting the ground alerted me, and I forced myself to keep my mouth shut. Cassian reacted by frowning and turned to see who it was. I mimicked his action, and when I saw a pair of wings accompanied by dark tendrils, I tensed a little.

I understood that Az had wanted us to hear him coming. So, I didn't flinch when he stood there studying us for a moment.

"Am I interrupting?"

I gave Cassian a quick, discreet glance, trying to convey that we'd finish the conversation later. He looked at me confused, but I shook my head, and he nodded in agreement without insisting.

He pressed my shoulder again before changing his position, still on the ground, but his attention now directed to his brother.

"So, your ass remembered we had training today and decided to show up, huh, Az?" he let out, instantly changing the mood of the place.

"I had a meeting with Rhys" Azriel replied simply, with one corner of his mouth lifted. "You look defeated."

Cassian's wings twitched, and I had to hold back a smile to speak. "He kicked my ass, actually, and now he's here on the ground pitying me."

Az smiled, and for a moment, I had to remind myself that this was nothing, that I shouldn't get any ideas in my head that would only go one way. He was off-limits, and continuing to think that way made my chest ache, so I forced myself to look away and focus on his shadows, some roaming the space, others coiling around his neck, whispering things in his ear.

"Hard to believe after the beating Rhys gave you yesterday" he mocked.

"That's not true" Cassian made an indignant noise before getting up from the ground and heading to the secluded area where we could rest for a while.

Grateful for the distraction from my own thoughts, I laughed as Az approached, and my joy faded a bit when I noticed he was stretching out his hand to help me up. I looked at him and hesitated, but I didn't want him to misinterpret my hesitation, knowing how his mind would tell him it was because of his scars. So, I took his hand, preferring my pain over his, even though these small gestures were what hurt me the most at the end of the day.

I thanked him without looking at him to soften the blow and prevent him from noticing my expression.

"I'm ready to fight you. Whenever you want" Cassian said as he drank water and tied his hair again with the leather strap Nesta had given him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the competitive flame ignite in Az's face. Then I knew it was time to leave and pray to The Caldroun that neither of them would bleed today.

I walked over to Cassian, with Azriel on my heels, and took some water too, while looking for a towel to dry off. Az guessed what I wanted and handed me one that was next to him.

"Thanks" I repeated again without looking at him.

I said nothing more because I feared the lump that was slowly forming in my throat, but I could feel his gaze scrutinizing me. Nevertheless, I ignored it. I was determined to get rid of all the damn feelings.

As much as it hurt me more than I let on.

"I have to go, Cass. See you later" I said, patting his shoulder.

He nodded, smiling, looking for my gaze. "I'll look for you in the library" he replied, referring to finishing the conversation.

I nodded, and he returned to the training ring. So I turned to Azriel, who was already taking off his shirt, and I had to swallow hard. Seeing him in all his glory was always breathtaking, seeing his bronzed skin, every sculpted muscle, scar, and Illyrian tattoos.

But I would have to learn to forget him. There was no other option.

"See you later, Az" I said, also saying goodbye as I walked past him.

Or rather, trying to. Because he gently took my arm and spread his wings a bit, halting my path and blocking my way.

I had to hold back a shiver and looked at him, full of confusion.

"Everything okay?" he asked softly.

I could feel his eyes searching for answers in mine, even the cold brush of one of his shadows on the arm he still held. The only thing I could think of was to look away and nod.

"Yeah, why?" I replied in the calmest tone I could muster.

He said nothing, but I could still feel him trying to decipher something. As if he were searching for answers somewhere in me and couldn't find them anywhere.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded without saying anything, trying to bury my feelings deep inside. I was terrified; nothing good would come of letting anything surface. I'd rather spend a thousand years in The Prison than ruin the peace that existed in everyone's lives.

Still, I knew I hadn't convinced him that everything was fine, but I also knew he was kind enough not to push me. So finally, after a moment of doubt, he let me go and lowered his wing to let me pass.

"See you later, Az" I said again, escaping so quickly that he had no time to hold me back again or even say anything.

Once a few steps away, I felt the tension leave my body, and I let the expression of concern take over my face. I tried not to look back, I swear I did, but before going down the stairs, I turned my head a bit, only to find Az's worried gaze.

Maybe I should have bothered to change my expression, but, anyway, it didn't matter. Nothing would change, so I just continued my way down the stairs while a feeling of sadness took over my chest.

Let me know if you want me to add you to the tag list. I wasn’t sure if those who had previously asked still wanted to be included, so just let me know if you still want to be tagged!

[shugarbunni]

kitty!reader x professor!james pt.2 ...enjoy :p

"hang on hang on- you've been sleeping with potter? as in the professor ive been rightfully pining over? you bitch!" barty squawks, hands flailing around as you all take your seats at a booth in a dark corner of the pub.

no one wanted to get sloshed tonight, so you all decided on getting..relatively pissed at the local pub. ('all' referring to the best group of people anyone will ever meet. you, of course, barty, evan, regulus, dorcas, marlene and the ever lovely pandora!)

"you have a boyfriend, barty." Marlene snorts, smirking at the eye roll Evan gives.

"shurrup, im allowed to have crushes-" barty starts, only to be cut off by you.

"that isn't the point!" you huff, plucking reggie's cigarette from his lips and taking a drag, leaning against him "point is i do not want to end things with him, not anytime soon." you trail off, before lifting your gaze to barty "and he's more than good sex, you bellend." you scoff, pointing at him "hes like, really sweet. and funny. if you overlook the fact that he's...painfully millennial, sometimes."

"what did you two even talk about?" pandora asks, trying her very best to hide her judgement with the situation, bless her heart.

"y'know..normal shit! couple shit!" you struggle, taking an anxious puff of smoke.

"couple shit?" regulus parrots flatly, a questioning quirk to his brow.

"yes, regulus, couple shit. y'know..getting to know each other." you sigh, sinking into the booth.

"okay, so like what? give us an example, kitty cat" evan chuckles, wrapping his arm around barty

"ooo, do y'know his favourite colour?" dorcas giggles, cheek resting on marlenes shoulder.

"you lot are such idiots." you grumble, taking a sip of your bloody mary "...and its red."

"im not going in a bloody nightclub, sirius" james groans as his best friend drags him along the street.

"come on, prongs!" sirius huffs, about to go on a rant about how they never have 'fun' anymore, when remus interjects.

"how about we go to the pub? act our age, for once?" he huffs, giving sirius a pointed look and pries him off of james, running a hand through his husbands salt and pepper hair.

"alright." he grumbles, rolling his eyes at lily when she laughs at his sulking.

the group strides across the street, remus' arm slung casually over sirius' shoulder. petes been quiet, checking his phone every ten minutes - no doubt texting Emma. like a bastard teenager, he is.

james stays quiet too as they all chatter, his brows creased in distracted thought whilst he follows along into the pub.

he only snaps out of his daze when sirius heckles him from the bar, "James! what ya wanting, mate?"

"just a pint, pads" he says, forcing out a smile as he slumps in the booth, followed by the others whilst sirius gets everyones drinks ordered.

"cheer up, would you?" lily sighs softly, leaning her elbows against the table "we're meant to be taking your mind off of her, James."

"i am cheered." james mutters, giving her a sarcastic smile, earning a swat on the arm.

sirius scurries back to the table, setting everyones drinks down. hes always had a strange talent for carrying a bunch of glasses at once - must've been all the dorm parties back when they were students.

"right! cheers everyone" he exclaims dramatically, getting the group to clink their beers together "heres to healthy relat-"

"right!" a barman's voice interrupts, echoing through the pub "karaoke machines on, you lot. have at it."

most of the pub-goers (absolutely mortal middle aged men) dont seem to care all that much, but two groups seem to get elated at this news.

sirius gasps, immediately up and tugging on a begrudged peters arm (they've been karaoke partners since they were 17, believe it or not) "come on, wormy! we have to do starman!"

"sirius, mate-"

its then, that come on Eileen blasts through the pubs old speakers.

sirius shuts up - for once.

and james? well, james looks like hes seen an angel, to put it lightly.

there you are, giggling through the lyrics with Barty whilst you pathetically attempt the famous living room routine.

your whole group are creased watching, evan's filming of course. the people in the club clap along, energy up.

"come on, come on!" you wave over the others, the whole group crowding over the dingy microphone as you drunkenly shout the lyrics.

its when the song ends and your group stumbles away, clinging onto each other through bouts of laughter that you spot him. well, really you spot lily first. but then the others came into view. they all look anxious, sirius trying to tug james out of his seat. he doesn't budge.

oh christ, this is gunna be a long night, isn't it?

this feels so messy but like..ive had this idea for ages and i wanna get it out there. let me know your opinions! more parts to come<3

[igotanidea]

(Heart)warming : Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Summary/request: cockwarming with Hotch(ner)

Warnings: well, the summary says it all, nothing explicit but still MDNI

***

„Aaron?”  her voice sounded so quiet and small in the empty, darkened room, lighted only by pinspot on his desk.

“Go back to bed” he mumbled, not looking up from the pile of files towering before him.

“You know I can’t sleep without you.” she whispered, taking one step closer. “Please Aaron.”

“Y/N…..” he sighed deeply and his calm, piercing eyes landed on her figure, immediately turning soft an loving. Y/N. His love. The one that was there for him despite everything, supporting, upholding, comforting after hard cases.  Enduring all those lonely hours and nights without him, being left hanging whenever he was out, working with the team. And now, she was standing in front of him, wearing only an oversized T-shirt, her legs bare, eyes wide open despite the late hour, soft hair surrounding her pretty, but worried face like a halo. It was almost impossible to tell her no. But he had work  “I have to finish this.” he hissed, eyes landing back on the documents.

“Aaron, baby.” She moved towards him even more. “You’ve been working too hard lately.”

“Comes with the specific of the job.”

“I know, baby.” She cooed, cupping his cheek and forcing him to look at her “I’m not making you choose, you know that.”

“But?”

“How do you know there’s a but? she smiled lightly, caressing his skin, making him close his eyes in a pure bliss and lean into her touch

“I’m a …..”

“shhhh” she silenced him “you promised not to profile me. Ever.”

“sorry. Force of habits.” Hotch smirked and that face expression added to his boyish charm. The charm he fell for.

“but….” she trailed “there is a but coming.” Her shoulders dropped slightly “I miss you, babe.” She leaned forward slightly, brushing her soft lips over his and he did not stop her. “I barely see you, lately. And when I do you’re always worried or stressed or holding back your emotions. It’s bad for you.”

‘Y/N…..” he gasped as her mouth brushed over his jaw, the intimacy and care conveyed by those gentle touch like nothing he experienced for a while now. Long while.

“I know you can’t talk about the specifics of your work….” Her hand tangled in his hair, scratching at his nape “but I can’t stand you being so tense…. Not with me, Aaron.” She was getting bolder with every second he was not pushing her away. If anything, the way he was reacting to her touches and caresses only made her want more as without any hesitation she sat on his lap, capturing his lips in hers once more, both arms locking behind his neck, luring him in. Smiling happily as his hands circled over her waist, pulling her closer to him, moving up and down her sides and reciprocating with the passion she missed for the last weeks.  “Aaron….” She let out a quiet moan feeling his excitement brush against her core.

“I love you.” he muttered against her jaw, one hand sneaking under her shirt, feeling her soft, smooth skin. The sensation incomparable with anything else. “I’m sorry,, sweetheart.”

“Don’t be….” She whispered, putting a finger on his lips, effectively silencing him “I knew what I was getting myself into when I met you. Just…..”

“What?” he asked, running the other hand through her soft hair, playing with the top button of the shirt, wanting nothing more than to get rid of that piece of clothing and spend the night with her. Loving her. Worshipping her. But as much as they both craved one another, they also knew he couldn’t  do that. Not until the case was closed.

“Let me help you.” she gasped “Let me help you relax.”

“Baby….”

“You can still work on that.” Her hands travelled from his arms, down his chest, to his abs and found his belt, painfully slowly unfastening it, hole after hole, giving him a chance to stop her, to withdraw. He did not, absolutely hypnotized by everything she was doing “I don’t think this can distract you , can it, agent?” she raised an eyebrow, being done with the belt, slowly unzipping his pants. Hotch was definitely not going to say that out loud, but she was as hot and seductive as never before. And he wanted her. Strict, demanding and cold SSA Aaron Hotcher was gone, absolutely lost in the love she was giving him. Turning needy just for her.

“You are being awfully distracting now.” he pointed out, still not losing his cool outside.

“Do you want me to stop?” she pouted, her eyes landing on him, withdrawing her touch.

“I think we both started some business we need to finish, Y/N” he responded, pecking her lips and she got the hint immediately freeing his hard-on, already ready for her “can you behave?”

“Will you punish me if I don’t?” she breathed against his cheek. “Tell me what exactly will you do to me.”

“Y/N…..” he warned, tightening the grip on her.

“All right, all right. I get it. No teasing.” She let out a single laugh, the music to his ears and wriggled on his lap, squirming to get rid of her underwear.

“No teasing, huh?” Hotch raised an eyebrow at her behavior, his breath becoming a bit heavier.

“What? You said it, I got business to take care of. And that requires some additional working” she moved once more making him groan in need, smiled and raised her hand in which she was holding her panties “Ups!” she dropped them onto the floor “I think I lost something….”

“I am a patient man.”

“Really? So you want me to do all the work by myself?”

“Come here.” He ordered grabbing her hips, guiding her towards his cock. Only the tip dived in between her folds, but the sensation made them both moan in unison.

“Aaron…..”

“I missed you too, baby.” His eyes focused on her face, twisting in more pleasure the lower she was sinking. “You ready?”

“Yes… please….”

Giving all the control into his hands she let him enter and stretch her fully. It felt so good feeling him like this. So full. So complete with his love surrounding her like a warm blanket.

“I love you, Y/N….”

“I …. I love you too, my agent. Does this make you feel better?” she asked, so willing to help him, to ease all his pain.

“The best. Thank you love.” He kissed her again. And again. And again. Only with chaste pecks, worried than anything else may lead to some real action between them. And he really had to finish this job. And once again she got the hint.   

“No, thank you.” Y/N shook her head. “I needed this too. Now, keep working baby. I got you. You got me.” She pulled herself closer to his chest, hugging him tightly, her head resting on his shoulder, feeling safe and loved while being so close to him. This was far better than any intercourse they could have. It was emotional, heartwarming and fulfilling. But she could not help planting a little, playful kiss on his cheek.

“Behave yourself…” he chucked and she nuzzled his neck with her nose.

“Sorry, can’t help it.” her deep breaths were calming him down a bit. Just because she was with him.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“Love you more, Hotch.”

@somest1

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 47

Part 1 Part 46

Steve settles into the new normal in waves. By the time his hair is a quarter of an inch long, he’s gotten his stitches out, face melded back together with only a gnarly line to show for it. By the time it’s a half an inch, he’s gotten the clearance to do his physical therapy at home.

Eddie sits in on his last appointment, listening tentatively to the way the doctor tells him he needs to put pressure and stretch. The way Steve needs to to move his rotary cuff on his own, working through the pain but not past it. 

The first time Eddie helps, seated on the living room carpet, Uncle Wayne in his customary recliner, Steve tries to keep the pain in, but then Eddie pulls his arm back, and the torn muscles protest. Steve groans.

“Shit, sorry sorry,” Eddie says, dropping Steve’s arm like it’s too hot to touch. “Stevie, sorry!”

He holds up his hands, eyes wide and already pooling with tears. Uncle Wayne scoffs, “it’s supposed to hurt, boy.”

Steve raises his arm back up, holding it out to Eddie. “Yeah, keep going.”

It takes an endless moment, and more of Uncle Wayne’s goading before Eddie reluctantly grabs his arm and continues his ministrations. He damn-near cries through the whole thing. Steve stays mouse-quiet and still. 

It gets easier as the days pass, the pain fading to a numb ache as his muscle heals.

By the time his hair’s grown out to a respectable inch, he barely remembers what it was like before this all began. He sleeps in Eddie’s bed, he hangs out with Eddie’s friends. He doesn’t go home at all. 

Eddie’s friends stop looking like defensive prey animals every time Steve sits down at their lunch table. Sometimes Barbara is there, sometimes Nancy and Jonathan. Always Eddie and his friends. And always Steve.

Eddie’s friends grow used to him. Doug gives him his extra cookie sometimes. Jeff helps him with D & D stats, patiently explaining everything he needs to know to survive his next session with the party. Gareth, in between glares, laughs at some of the things Steve says. Not usually the jokes, but it’s progress all the same. 

Sometimes Tommy will shoulder check him in the hallway, and Carol will look over at him with big, sad eyes from across every classroom. It’s fine. It has to be.

He’ll blink, every now and then, and there will be ash raining down, the sky red and storming. He hasn’t mentioned it to Eddie or Will. Or anyone at all. 

Steve’s fine. He always is.

It’s almost inevitable the way it all crumbles down at Carol’s feet. 

She corners him after civics, barely letting him out of the classroom before she’s latching onto his wrist and pulling him through the crowded hallway without a word. Steve halfheartedly tries to tug himself free until her manicured nails dig painfully in.

She maneuvers him into the boys bathroom, glaring viciously at the poor freshman washing his hands at the sink until he scurries past Steve and out the door. Carol reaches behind him, locking the door with a vicious twist before looking below each of the stalls. Once she’s checked that they’re alone, she whirls in Steve, glaring viciously at him. It’s an expression he’s never seen directed his way, not from her, and it makes his shoulders hunch instinctively. 

“What the fuck, Steve?” she snarls, demanding. 

Steve stares at her. He feels numb – hollowed out from the outside in. Like something’s been digging and digging until all he has is skin. “What?” Steve asks. Stupidly. Numbly.

She marches up to him, jabbing him hard with her pointer finger into his shoulder, this time the bad one. Steve hisses and she does it again. “You turn into a ghost for over a week, and then fucking ghost us?” she demands, voice rising in pitch and volume. “And you’ve replaced us with the Freak?”

“Eddie’s not–” Steve starts, hackles raising.

“I don’t fucking care about Munson!” her voice echoes around the small room, bouncing around the walls with the power of her fury. “Be friends with Munson, I don’t give a fuck!” She throws her hands up in the air, pacing back and forth the way she usually only does when she’s ranting about her Mom, late at night, when they’re holed up in one of their respective bedrooms. “I care that you ditched us with no fucking explanation.”

Steve’s organs are thawing out. It hurts – the way her bottom lip wobbles even as she’s yelling. The way her eyes are shimmering in a way Steve’s never seen before. The way her porcelain mask is cracking at the seams, and all Steve sees underneath is exhaustion.

But, he knows. Tommy’s made it perfectly clear with his shoulder checks and hostile sneers that it’s Eddie or them. “Carol,” he sighs. “You know that Tommy–”

She interrupts again. “Fuck Tommy!” she runs her hand through her hair, and it gets stuck in there, too much hairspray keeping her curls in place. “Who cares about Tommy? I thought we were friends.”

Her voice breaks on the words friends. Like she, too, is remembering nights spent painting each other’s nails, and talking about crushes. Like she, too, is remembering how they’d had their first kiss long before anyone had kissed Tommy.

Steve stumbles backward, spine hitting the partition between two open stalls before he allows his body to give up. He slides down, butt hitting the cold tile. He curls his arms around his knees, notices the tremor running through his fingers as he laces them together.

“I can’t tell you,” Steve whispers.

It’s quiet in the bathroom, the only sounds their ragged breathing and the drip drip drip of the runny toilet at the far end. Steve doesn’t look up from the tile between his knees, but he hears Carol shuffling forward, muttering under her breath how fucking gross boys are even as she sits down beside him.

She knocks her knee against his before pulling it back away. Neither of them have ever been touchy-feely with one another. Steve wants her arm around his shoulders, wants to bury his face in her neck. He knocks his knee into hers before pulling it back and away. 

“Fine,” she says, begrudging. Angry. “Don’t tell me why you’re so fucked up. Share that with Munson, whatever.” 

Steve sighs. “Carol.” 

“Does that mean we can’t even fucking be friends?” she demands, biting. “What, you’re too good for me now? Can’t even answer the door for me?”

Steve pictures it – Carol small in her winter coat, waiting minutes on end at the Harrington’s front door, ringing the bell for an empty house, waiting for the ghost of who Steve used to be to open the door. He wonders where Tommy was, if she didn’t mention him because he hasn’t tried at all. 

“I’ve been staying at Munson’s.”

He looks at her out of the corner of his eyes, sees it land like a blow before she closes her eyes against it. “Of course you have been,” she sighs, defeated. Like that’s all she has the energy for. She levers herself up, walks toward the locked door, and slides it back.

It’s as she begins to open the door that Steve speaks, “do you want to come over after school?”

She pauses, foot already halfway out the door before she turns back to Steve, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “To Munson’s trailer?” she asks incredulously, but she steps back into the bathroom and lets the door close behind her. 

Steve shrugs. He can’t read her face the way he used to be able to. There’s something wanting in her eyes that he can’t name as they rove over his face, like she’s looking from something. Just like he is. Two people who know each other too well and not at all.

Carol turns back around, swinging the door back open. Steve feels something shrivel and die within him. But then she says, “meet you at Munson’s crap-mobile,” said casually over her shoulder like this isn’t a tectonic-plate shifting momentous occasion.

Steve smiles down at his knees, enamored with the idea of having his friend back. Of bringing her home. 

Part 48

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @1-8oo-wtfbro @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso

[patrophthia]

you know me like no other | regulus black

⇢ now playing 'get up’ : track 3

pairing: regulus black x reader

wc: 1.9k

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers!!, very slight angst, both reader and regulus are lovesick idiots

note: thank you to @lucy-is-never-logical for being so kind and reading this over for me, i owe my heart to you!!!

summary: to love is to sacrifice, and to love your best friend is to apparently make jokes about wanting to have grandchildren with them.

Regulus gaze lingers on you, even through the flailing hands and flashing lights; you are his only sole focus. You and the drink in his hand. 

His eyes dropped down, finally looking at something that wasn't you for once. A party wasn't really his scene, it's yours, and you wanted him to be here with you so here he is. He could only hope he seems cool to you.  

"Hey?" There's a tap on his shoulder. "You want to get out of here?" 

Regulus licks at his lips and looks at you, slowly —almost painfully, he nods. And you smile at him; your hand slipping into his as if it belonged there to lead him out the door. 

He's walking by your side, drink still in his hand. You bump into him slightly, purposely even; trying to grab his attention as you did so. "You know," you begin, dragging out your words, "you don't have to come to these parties if you don't want to."

He wants to nod, it's his habit to answer people by nodding by now. But it feels wrong to just nod at you so instead, he says: "I know." 

"Then why do you always look so lost whenever you're at them?" You ask him with a small smile. "And why do you even come to them?" 

"Someone needs to look out for you," he admits bashfully, "you can get pretty reckless, you know?"

"And you think you're looking out for me?" You're teasing him, ghost of a smile never leaving your face. "You know every time you come to one of these parties I always end up leaving early with you."

"... do you want me to stop coming?" 

There's a pause, and before he knows it, you're frowning. "That's not what I said." 

"That's what it sounds like," he murmurs. 

"I don't mean it like that, baby," you reply softly. When you started calling him baby exactly, he can't remember —what he remembers about it though, is why you started calling him it. "I just meant that, if you don't like these things you shouldn't come because I'll end up leaving early with you and it's no fun for the both of us." 

"So you're saying I'm no fun?" He's teasing you, really, he is, but his tone remains so serious that you seem to not be getting it. 

"Reg," you drag out, there's a small look of frustration on your face and he can't help but find it cute. "You know I don't mean it like that." 

He finishes up his drink, your hand slipping from his as he did so; pinkies left intertwined in the process. "I do." 

It's later that night, with you tucked under your blanket, slipping in and out of sleep did your friend return back from the party. They're quiet at first, careful to not wake you to only find you still somewhat awake. 

There's a small tsk from one of them, frowning as she says: "you’re sacrificing your own fun for him again?" 

"I have fun with Reg." Was your argument, words blurring into one another as you tried to defend yourself. "I'm not sacrificing anything." 

"Right," she scoffs, "especially not your love life." 

There's a slight implication in her words, your brows furrowing as you think of a reply. "What does he have anything to do with my love life?"

"You're always with him, you know? You're with him everyday and it's like you're always putting him first," she says, wiping away at her make up. "You've been excited for this party for weeks and we were barely thirty minutes in and you leave all because of Regulus? How does that work?" 

You blink slowly at her, awake enough to think it through. "He's my best friend." 

"That's your argument?" She asks softly. "Does he think of you as his best friend then? Because I'm starting to think otherwise." 

Your voice is soft and hushed, whispering in the dark of the night. "What do you mean?" 

"I don't think he thinks of you as his best friend," she says lowly, switching off her lights, "I think he thinks of you as something more." 

There's a rustling of blankets, your friend slipping under her comforter as the question whether Regulus was asleep by now crept into your mind. "Like?"

"His girlfriend." 

And if you'd thought of him as your best friend, would you really be wondering whether he was asleep by now? Maybe not. Maybe you should go to sleep. 

You fall asleep with a lot on your mind that night. Though it might not seem like it, you're sure that Regulus thinks of you as often as you think of him —or at least you hope so, or else you've spent the past few years of your life working yourself over nothing.

"Reg.” It’s a Hogsmeade weekend, the two of you walking side by side —pinkies connecting to one another just to keep you from getting lost within the growing crowd. “I told you that I’d pay this time.” 

“Mhmm.” He only nods. “I’m sure you do. But my mother taught me to never let a woman pay if they’re going out with me.” 

“I’m not exactly going out with you though?” It’s getting colder now, the first snow expecting to have fallen at any given moment. Regulus’ cheeks are flushed, the tip of his nose tinged just a adorably. “We’re just two friends hanging out.” 

“And?” He asks, as if what you said was going to change anything. “As if you’ll have to pay for anything when I’m here.” 

Though you understand that he was rich enough to buy the entire of Hogsmeade, and that friends paid for their friends from time to time; Regulus always having paid for you —and continuing to do as you speak— didn’t feel right. 

“If I asked you to pay for a mansion, would you then?” You ask rhetorically, annoyed by his behavior. 

He looks at you, short curls bouncing as he tilts his head to the side. “If you asked me to then why wouldn’t I?” 

Regulus lips curls when you roll your eyes at him. “What?” He chuckles, eyes glinting prettily. 

“You can’t say stuff like that baby,” you tell him, “you say that to a girl and they’ll start thinking of names to name your grandchildren with them.” 

His chuckle turns into a full laugh, his nose scrunching in the process. “You already call me baby, I don’t think me wanting to pay for you is what would push someone to think of names for their grandchildren.” 

“Are you saying me calling you baby makes you think of having grandchildren with me?” You giggle. “I only call you baby because Sirius calls you it.” 

He turns his face to the side bashfully, cheeks red whether from the cold or from embarrassment, you can’t tell. “It’s different with you.” 

“Is it?” There’s a slight lilt in your words. “Is it really?” 

“Yeah.” It’s soft, barely audible against the sound of people passing by. “Being his baby and being your baby feels different. He doesn’t know me like you know me neither does he see me like you do.” 

There’s a shift in the air, the atmosphere feeling tranquil for second; your heartbeat being the only sound you could truly hear.

“Apparently I don’t see you like how my friend does either,” you murmur, Regulus turning to you with furrowed brows as you did so. “They’re starting to think that we're more than what we tell them." 

It takes Regulus a good minute for his ears to catch up with your words. "They think we're hooking up?" 

"Not hooking up perse." You shrug. "More like secretly dating." 

"They think we're together?" 

"Mhmm." 

Is it wrong that he doesn't mind it one bit? That people thought the two of you were together? Maybe. 

"Is it cool with you?" 

"Hmm?" Regulus hums questioningly, not having hearing anything you've said passed your confirmation.

"Does it bother you that they think we're dating?" You ask again with a small laugh. 

". . . No?" He answers slowly, his shoulder bumping against yours as he did so. "As long as it's cool with you."

"It is." You nod. "You want to know something else?" 

He's attentive and slow, watching you carefully as you speak. "Yes?" 

"I'm starting to think that we are too." 

Oh? 

"We already do all the couple-ey stuff just without labels, you know?" You ask him, the two of you slowing down your pace as you spoke. "We hold hands, we put each other first always, and you're always on my mind it exhausts me." 

"But . . ." He pauses, eyes cloudy. "Isn't that just what friends do?" 

"Maybe," you offer with a shrug, "but I don't think about my friends the way I think about you." 

"Which is?" Regulus prompts. 

You seem, oddly enough, embarrassed. "How much I want to kiss you." 

"Does it matter then?" 

It's your turn to be confused. "Hmm?" You hummed. 

"Does it matter what your friends say then? Whether we're together or not?" He asks, eyeing your hand in his. 

"Reg, what are you saying?" 

"Maybe there's some truth to it —what your friends said." Regulus is hesitant, slowly chopping up the courage to continue on his tangent. "If it's cool with you then I don't see why we couldn't be together."

For a minute it's quiet, his words going from one ear to the other without really full processing it. 

"You like me?" 

There's a dry laugh that coughs up his throat, it's cold and you hope to never hear it ever again. "Is that not obvious?"

"No?" You're gazing up at him, seeing him in a different light. "Obviously not or else I'd have made a move on you by now." 

There’s an amused smile on his face. "How so?" 

"I don’t know," you huff out with a small laugh, “I’d probably kissed you by now.” 

Regulus' eyes drops from your face to his feet, lips pursed as he find the floor incredibly interesting. How does one react to that? How does he react to this? 

He peers back up at you, eyes softening as he took a step forward; a hand reaching up to cup your face. The palm of his hand, rough and scarred presses against the cushion of your cheek. 

And as he leans down towards you, your eyes finds themselves fluttering shut; reaching up on your tippy toes to close the distance between you and him. 

The kiss is slow, soft, gentle, and loving in every way. Years of unrequited feelings oozing out with every passing second. 

You're the first to pull away, watching as his pupil blows wide in front of you; taking every inch of you into his memories. 

Slowly, you ask. "Does this mean you're my boyfriend now?" 

Regulus finds himself smiling at your words, sure that he's looking foolish as he did so. "Mhmm," he nods, "for as long as you'll have me."

— from bee: regulus’ installment is finally here, now for remus’ hehe

[solivagant242]

losing you pt. 3

remus lupin x f!reader

warnings: strong angst, losing a relationship, minor swearing (?)

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt.4

amberly is used as the MC here since i used to write a lot of fanfics with her, but feel free to self-insert or use whatever name you like <3.

________________________________________

“How are you doing these days?”

The question catches Amberly off guard from where she’s sitting cross-legged on a clean (grease- and oil-stained) sheet on Sirius’ spotless (covered in nuts, bolts, and some parts she couldn’t even recognize) garage floor. She blinks, curling her bandaged fingers tighter together in her jacket pocket. “I’m good. Pretty tired, these days. I think seasonal depression is getting to me.” She forces a laugh. 

Sirius tilts his head at her. “You love fall, though. You were always that one fucking nerd who prayed for school to re-open every year.” He pitches his voice higher, reaching into the cardboard box of cookies. “Oh, look at me- I’m Amberly, and all the professors wish they could adopt meeeee!”

She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “We’re not in school anymore though, Pads.”

“Be a man and go talk to her!”

“Shut up, she’s gonna hear,” hissed Remus, glancing covertly around the corner of the bookshelves. The quiet Ravenclaw had returned to her peaceful study alcove, big brown eyes flicking back and forth over the pages of her book as she scribbled notes on parchment. “D’you think I even have a chance? Like, really?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “All I know is that I’m really fucking tired of hearing you rave about how beautiful her eyes are, or how insanely smart she is, or blah blah blah. Go do something about it, Moony, or I’ll fake a note from you!”

“You wouldn’t”-

Amberly looked up. She could just see the flicker of red as the two Gryffindors ducked back behind the shelves. Narrowing her eyes, she gave the shelf a final glare and returned to her work.

She didn’t know that two days later, Remus would ask her out. To visit Hogsmeade and ask for her help finding the right Potions book for next year, ostensibly since she was top of the class. Or that he would ask her to go skating the next week.

Or that he would be her first kiss under the mistletoe in the Gryffindor common room, as Sirius tossed eggnog over them and James showered them with glitter from the Christmas decorations. Or that they’d continue dating, all through the end of their four years there, or that she would fall so head-over-heels in love with him that she’d still yet to hit the ground.

She wouldn’t know that it would lead to this, either.

How could she?

“Are you okay?”

Sirius’ words seem to be coming from far, far away. Amberly shakes her head, bringing herself back to earth. Her throat constricts painfully and something hot drips on the backs of her hands. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. 

“I- I’m fine,” she manages to stutter, smearing at her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Just been a long week, that’s all.”

Sirius puts an arm around her, concern coloring his tone. “Are you sure?”

But now Amberly is remembering the cold, dismissive tone in Remus’ voice, the glare he’d given her as he called her clingy, those eyes that she’d once loved beyond all measure filled with nothing but annoyance and scorn. 

She breaks down in tears right there on Sirius’ garage floor. 

Sirius, to give him credit, doesn’t try to ask what’s wrong. Doesn’t ask for information or press for answers, just lets her cry all over his leather jacket as he holds her shoulders. He pats her hair soothingly. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s really okay.”

“It’s not,” she gasps, clawing her hair back from her eyes. “This is all my fault. All of this- if I hadn’t been too much, if I hadn’t tried too hard- nothing I can do is right and I don’t know how to fix it”-

The Gryffindor’s eyes narrow. “Is this about Remus?”

Amberly takes a beat to answer, too busy hunting through her bag for a handkerchief. “It’s nothing. Nothing, really. Just a long day, a bad day.” She’s aware that she’s babbling, trying and failing to draw a deep breath, but she can’t seem to stop. “I- I think I’ll head back now.”

“You are not going anywhere,” retorts Sirius, passing her an extremely filthy rag. “Blow your nose- this jacket is designer leather, you know.”

She glares at him, eyes red, and he grins. “Okay, sorry. But come inside. You shouldn’t be going anywhere like this. It’s fucking cold out- did Moony not drive you?”

“He’s not feeling well,” mumbles Amberly. Another excuse, the same easy lies coming to her lips to disguise what she didn’t want anyone to know. Because Remus was fine, right? They were fine. It was all okay.

Sirius shakes his head, unimpressed. “You were an awful liar in school and you’re an awful liar now.”

Sirius’ flat is surprisingly warm and clean, probably thanks to Lily. Amberly still remembers the way the redhead had marched in, taken one look at the sink full of dishes and the grubby windows, and directed her scathing gaze towards a blissfully unaware Padfoot. Lily had helped her set up their house too, hadn’t she? It was hard to remember now; the couch was soft, and so was the afghan Sirius had tossed over her legs. Something smelled nice, too; was that sandalwood?

Sirius appears in the doorway a minute later with two red mugs of cocoa. His eyes soften when he sees Amberly curled into a ball in the corner of the couch, and he sets the cups down softly so as not to wake her. 

He thinks of how excited Moony had been when they began dating, over the moon with happiness. Of how the pair had held hands in the hallways, blue and red robes overlapping, of how Moony’s bad days had seemed to vanish before Amberly’s gentle eyes and soft hands. Of how Amberly had somehow been added to their mismatched family, her quiet presence the perfect counterpart to him and James. Of how Moony had looked at her when they first moved into their house, as if she was the stars and moon and sky all wrapped into one person who loved him to heartbreak.

And his lips tighten. 

He needs to have a word with Moony.

[rogueddie]

Part one, Part two

Steve feels conflicted about the groups plan for the day. They seem confident though, reassuring him that the arcade is fun and he's going to love it.

Nancy is the only one who isn't happy about the plan- though, judging by her complaints, it's more that she's the one stuck on babysitting duty than actually going to the arcade.

"This is a bad idea," Steve tries to warn them, once they get to the arcade. "Miss Nancy, can't I wait out here with you?"

"You should go inside. It'll be fun," she insists. "Just remember to stick with the boys, they'll make sure you're ok."

"I don't want to," Steve pouts. "I wanna stay out here with you. I can be quiet and good!"

"Steve-"

"Hey, Steve!" One of the boys yells back, waving him over- Lucas. "Come on! Dustins getting candy!"

"Go," Nancy gently nudges him.

Reluctantly, he shuffles towards the arcade, where the group waits for him. They're friendly, encouraging- Lucas even wraps an arm around his shoulders, holding him close and keeping him in the middle of the group.

It only makes the inside of the arcade slightly more bearable.

The lights are bright, flashing, and colorful. The noises from the machines almost sounds fun, Steve thinks- if only the people weren't so loud.

"There you are!" Someone yells, bouncing over to them. She grins when she spots Steve. "Holy shit! He's so small."

El is behind her, holding hands. "Hello, Steve."

"Hello, El," Steve awkwardly waves.

"This is Max," Lucas says, pointing to the new girl. He steps away, so he can hug her, asking her something that Steve can't hear over a sudden burst of noise.

Steve only looks round for a second, but when he turns back the group is already moving- and fast. He has to jog to catch up with them.

"Still second!" Max taunts, once they get to digdug. She flicks Dustins cap.

"What's it about?" Steve tries to ask, straining to see the machine. It's too high for him to see much, even on his tiptoes.

No one answers him. Steve assumes they don't hear him over the noise. They're already too focused on the game, anyway. He's sure he'll get it by watching.

Someone bumps into him, glaring at him when he tries to apologize.

"Get out the way, kid!" They snap at him.

There's no where else for him to stand, if he wants to stick with the group. He tries to press himself closer to the machine, to stay out the way.

But then, swearing and yelling, the machine gets kicked. The group are complaining, Max taunting Dustin again, Lucas laughing, Mike yelling to be heard, and the machine blaring noise, and the lights flashing in his eyes, bright and sharp, the people shuffling around the room, making the space feel small, pressing in on him-

He runs, shoving his way through the crowd.

Thankfully, the car isn't locked, so he's able to dive onto the backseats.

Nancy screams, almost jumping out the car, before she recognizes him.

"Steve?! What the hell-" she pauses, noticing how her raised voice only makes him curl up tighter. "Steve?"

"I's not fun," he bemoans.

"What happened?" She shifts, turning completely around so she can see him better. "Steve? Steve, breathe. It- you're ok."

She stares at him for a moment, confused and uncertain, before getting out so she can sit in the back with him. She can't tell if he's struggling to breathe or quietly sobbing.

"Hey," she whispers, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "Steve-"

She freezes, surprised at how suddenly he launched himself at her. His arms feel so small, curled around her neck. When she finally pulls herself together, returning the hug, she notices how much he's shaking.

"It's ok," she repeats. "You're ok."

She's not sure what else to say, how else to comfort him. Mike never turned to her if he was this upset and Karen is always the one taking care of Holly.

He calms down, slowly, after a painfully long moment. He stays glued to her, seeming to find comfort in the contact- so she holds him a little tighter, and hopes it's enough.

"I'm sorry," he eventually says, voice cracking.

He tries to pull away. She curls her arm around him tighter, holding him there.

"You don't need to apologize," she says. She almost sighs in relief when he slumps back into the hug, finally relaxing. "I'm just worried about you. Did the boys do something to upset you?"

"No..."

"No?"

"They didn't do anything wrong. They were playing. It just... the whole place." He sniffs. "It was so much. Too much."

"You mean the noise?"

"And the lights. And the people. It- it felt like the room was- was closing in and-"

"Hey, hey, hey," she rubs his back, cooing. "It's ok. And I'm sorry. You tried to tell me it was a bad idea and I didn't listen."

"Tha's not your fault," he huffs, poking her side, giggling when she yelps, gently patting his arm in retaliation. "I'm a big boy now. I need to learn and I can only do that by, um... ex... exposing me to that stuff."

"Who told you that?"

"Mama. She said she had problem with things being too much and she, like, pushed through it."

"That's not a good thing, Steve. Getting used to things that make you overwhelmed or uncomfortable might help, I don't know, but... I don't know. This doesn't feel like a good thing, does it?"

He's quiet for a moment, considering, before quietly admitting; "no. It feels... not nice."

"Maybe we can go slowly, so you don't get overwhelmed again."

"You- would you do that, for me?" He leans back, eyes wide and sad, and...

Oh no, Nancy thinks, I'm screwed.

"Of course I would. I will." She promises, without second thought.

Part four

tag list for those who asked (if you want taking off lmk x) : @songbird-garden @str4wb3rry-guy @badcaseofcasey @lioniheart @irethsune @starry-eyedlune @newtstabber @messrs-weasley @vesme @penny00dreadful @ratboybubs @ocapmycap @ellietheasexylibrarian @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @little-trash-ghost @lazyavenuewhispers @paintsplatteredandimperfect @mightbeasleep @anaibis @sleepyboosstuff @thesuninyaface @morpheusmunson @fandomcartographer @tentativeghost @notfrogsunderatrenchcoat @novelnovella @stqrconnrs @tartarusknight @spectrum-spectre @hotluncheddie @malicia62 @tencents121 @lightwoodbanethings @steddie-steddie @dragonmama76 @i-less-than-three-you @weirdandabsurd42 @lenathegay @theequeervibes @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @g4ys0n @subversivecynic @bleedingoptimism @amerikanskaya-krassavitsa @amerikanskaya-krassavitsa @eyesofshinigami

[gg-pedro]

can you hear the music (ch. 1) - joel miller x reader

masterlist

even here, at the end of all things, some things persisted. one thing in particular, throughout all the places you had been. music.

summary: everyone in jackson is trying to distract themselves from something. you teach ellie piano and find yourself trying to help more than one miller settle into their new world.

warnings: post outbreak!joel, jackson!era, platonic!ellie x reader, implied age gap, joel x reader, AFAB!reader, they kiss lolz, smut to come, pining, feelings.

words: 1.8k

a/n: a little sweet, a little bitter, a little self indulgent. I'm planning on this being a series! I hope you enjoy. warning tags only apply to this chapter.

-

Two knocks. Three. More knocking, hushed squabbling from outside your door. You got up from your seat at the kitchen table, a piling mess of sheet music and scribbled notes.

Opening the door revealed your newest student, Ellie, looking very much like Joel was leading her to the gallows with that scowl on her face. 

���Can we just get this over with? I’m fucking hungry.” Ellie pushed past you, shrugging off her coat and kicking off her boots. 

“I’m sorry… ‘bout her. She likes doin’ this, I swear. Always comes back talking about it. Just give her some time to warm up to you.”

Joel had this particular look on his face whenever he talked about that little girl. His dark eyes would soften and he’d push a hand through his graying hair, his thoughts seeming like they were somewhere else entirely from his surroundings. The most he ever said to you was about Ellie. Everything you knew about Joel was from Ellie, naturally.

He was from Texas. He was fairly older than you– you didn’t have much experience from when it was before the end of the fucking world. He sounded tightly wound. He could play the guitar, and he’d taught Ellie a few things. Once, she’d said that he only liked piano music if Billy Joel was playing it, whoever that was. That made you laugh.

You gave him a thin smile, crossing your arms over your chest to ward off the draft that was blowing through the open door. “I know. She’s a great kid, I can tell she wants to learn. I think it helps her– you know, keeping busy.”

Joel met your eyes for the first time since the conversation had started, something painful and poignant seeping into his expression. 

“Yeah. I think so.” He was quiet for a few seconds before looking straight over you to grab Ellie’s attention. “I’ll be back in an hour. I’m down the street helpin’ Tommy with that old building. Be good,” he warned, before giving you a grateful nod and turning back. 

And that was your routine. Joel was usually short with you, a little quiet, a little shy. You thought he was a sweet man– and a painfully attractive one at that. All southern and rough, broad shouldered, puppy-dog eyed. He seemed like he would do anything to keep that girl safe. You were glad the community had someone like him.

You had started teaching Ellie a few weeks after they had settled into Jackson. It was mostly because of Maria’s recommendation, who you were fairly close with. Ellie had hated taking lessons from you more vehemently in the beginning, but the more you worked at it, the more comfortable you saw her get. 

“Come on, kid. This is good for your brain,” you would say, beckoning her to sit next to you on the piano bench. 

She scoffed, but yet she obliged. “This is dumb. I could be doing something useful. Like shooting guns.”

“Art is as important, Ellie. More important than shooting guns. For you, anyway."

Her fingers tapped gingerly on the keys and she played a scale they had learned the week before. “How would you know? You aren’t even old,” she countered. “How long have you been playing?”

You glanced over at the clock. You two were wasting time, but at least she was talking. “My whole life, give or take. I tried to hold onto it whenever I could. It was my favorite thing in the entire world.”

She nodded, seeming to understand. “That’s cool. I get why Joel likes you.”

You didn’t think Joel was someone who particularly liked you. He didn’t dislike you, clearly, but if he had given any hints, they had been falling on deaf ears. You tried your best to keep your expression neutral. “And why’s that?”

She giggled to herself as she flipped through the pages of her sheet music booklet. “‘Cause you’re both fucking weird.”

You laughed too, punching her gently in the arm. “Fair. Now stop stalling and play me whatever you remember.”

Life was special nowadays. More precious than it ever had been. You would have to cherish moments like these. Loss was all around, and loving always risked the hurt. You were really, really fucking tired of hurting. 

-

Walking back to your home, trudging through the snow, you were tired. Working in Jackson’s small clinic was easy enough, but it was draining. You saw to children mainly, bandaging up wounds and dosing out rations of antibiotics when needed. The kids liked you, the parents liked you, and that was rewarding, but plastering on a smile and a light-hearted tone all day sometimes felt like too fucking much. 

So naturally, you were ready to pick a fight when you felt a broad hand consume your shoulder. 

You turned around to match the disembodied hand to a face, only to see Joel Miller. He looked tired, more tired than you, and a little sad. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t tryin’ to scare you. I saw you, and I…” He paused, looking down at the two sets of footprints that had outlined both of your paths. “Ellie isn’t feeling well. I think it’s best she skips y’alls lesson tomorrow.”

She released the breath she'd been holding. For some reason, he had the tendency to precede the things he said as if he was about to tell you that the world was ending. Again.

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Is she alright?” 

“Yeah, she’s alright. This whole things a big fuckin’ adjustment, and I… I worry she’ll push herself too much if nobody stops her,” he explained. “She’s been with Maria all day. But yeah, she’ll be okay.”

Ah. He was worried about her. It seemed like he was always worrying about her. “I understand. Can’t imagine what it must be like for her. And you.”

She’ll push herself if nobody stops her. Who stopped Joel? Who looked out for him? His brother, surely, but was it like that? Did those two, hardened and stretched thin, have the time to be concerned about things like that? How long had he just been… going?

You reached a hand out to touch his upper arm, rubbing it a little before pulling away. “You’re a good man, Joel. I really think that, and I hope you know it.”

He laughed a little at that. “I haven't done any good, trust me on that.”

You dropped your gaze and looked away. You knew that everyone here, without a shadow of a doubt, had done things they weren’t proud of. Things they never would’ve done if not at the end of the world.

You were maybe 20 steps from your front door, standing out in the Wyoming cold with him. You tried to meet his eyes before speaking again, but he wouldn’t face you. 

“Come in. Please, I insist. Warm up, I just traded for coffee.”

He looked like he was fighting with himself for a few seconds, raising his head and looking off to the side. “Yeah, alright. Why not.”

-

Joel Miller was sitting in your living room, sipping from a mug so carefully that you’d think he was afraid he’d break it. The fire was lit and casting warm shadows across the dim room. It was endearing. You hadn’t felt like this in a lifetime. 

“I couldn’t do it. What you do. Dealing with all those kids,” he said after a long lapse of quiet.

You shrugged, sipping on your own cup. “I love it. I never thought I’d have the chance to play music again, much less teach. It’s not perfect, but it's something,” you said. “Ellie tells me you play guitar.”

Joel rolled his eyes and finally sunk back into his chair instead of hunching over. He groaned a little as he did it, as if he stored all of his tension in his back. “Yeah, used to. I ain’t good at it anymore.”

“But you used to be?” You pried.

He finally looked at you, his eyes infinitely more dark in this light. “Maybe. Don’t think I’d be able to forget how to play even if I tried, so might as well put it to some use.”

You smiled. “I know. Funny how things stick with you. Muscle memory.”

He nodded. “Somethin’ like that.”

And it was true. There were lots of things neither of you would forget how to do, no matter how much time had lapsed in between the before and the now. And sure, most of what you had learned happened after the world had ended, but that was irrelevant. The most important things had always been there. You’d known how to love for your entire life.

His eyes wandered over to the old upright piano situated on the wall in the living room. “Is she any good on that thing?” He asked.

You thought about Ellie, who would curse everytime she slipped on a scale, who would argue fervently about how that squiggly shit on the sheet music could possibly mean anything, who learned faster than any of your other kids.

“She is. She’s impressive. She picked up Old McDonald Had a Farm like that.” You grinned, snapping your fingers for effect. 

He smiled thinly, his mind clearly somewhere else. “Explains why she won’t stop humming that shit. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“My pleasure, Joel.” You laughed. “You finished with that?” You gestured to his empty mug.

“Yeah. Hey, I’ll help you.”

You were elbow to elbow with each other at the sink, cleaning out the liquid and the scattered coffee grounds from the bottoms of your respective cups. Joel took yours and placed it on the drying rack, wiping his hands off with the towel you passed to him.

You leaned back against the island as he turned his back to the sink. He was so tall, so rugged, so handsome. His age only added to it. He had a softness around his eyes now, his features slightly obscured by the absence of much light.

“Should probably take off… Thank you. For the drink,” Joel began.

“Don’t thank me, I’d do it anytime. Tell Ellie that I hope she’s feeling better soon.”

He nodded, and he swallowed. He wasn’t making any moves to leave, save for his eyes on the door. They flicked back to you, watching you, scanning you up and down until he finally said, 

“You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart, lookin’ at me like that.”

You weren’t really sure of how it all happened, but in an instant your bodies were pressed together with your lower back digging into the dull edge of the island counter, Joel’s lips pressed to yours like he was seeking oxygen.

His free hand felt up your body, and your skin was on fire. A match thrown onto a pool of gasoline. Everything was electric. He kissed you like he’d learned it in another life, back when love was free, when forever was a tangible thing, when strings weren’t attached. You felt it all on your lips and tongue, in the bonfire that was being fanned in your abdomen.

When he stepped back, you pulled him in for more. The opposite reaction to the Earth pulling down on you is you pulling the Earth back up. You tangled your hands in his soft hair, and his dug into the fabric of your jeans on your hips.

You both came up for air after a while, having migrated to the entrance of the kitchen. He had you backed up against the beam of the open doorway, tucking both sides of your hair behind you ear to see your face.

"Shouldn't be doing this," he mumbled, nipping at the warm skin on your neck.

"Maybe not," you conceded. I didn't mean you couldn't want it– what he could give you. You'd all done wrong things. "You could still stay."

"Yeah," he responded, pressing his body against yours and sweeping a hand over to cradle your lower back. "Still could."

Maybe it wasn't a lie. Maybe that glassy, far off look wouldn't be permanent. It could be like this. You could have a reason.

And yeah, maybe Joel knew more than he let on. Some things never really left him.

-

[erimeows]

Caretaker

Roy feels unsure as he holds his fist up to the wooden door of Riza’s apartment, his gloved hand hovering over the center. In his other hand, a bag from Panda House- her favorite takeout spot- dangles from his fingers. The pleasant aroma of egg drop soup and grilled chicken wafts faintly from the bag, but it’s no comfort against the growing unease curling in his stomach.

Roy knows that, for a long time, their relationship has been far from strictly professional. Riza is his closest confidant and his best friend. So, when he was told earlier that morning that she had called in sick- a rarity in the many years they’ve spent working together- he knew he couldn’t just ignore it. 

Throughout the lonely work day, he convinced himself it would only be right to drop by her apartment after his shift at eastern headquarters ended to check in on her and make sure she’s still able to eat well. Now that he’s here, food in hand, dressed in a t-shirt and joggers, he’s unsure of whether or not this is what he should be doing with his evening.

He hesitates, glancing over his shoulder at the quiet hallway to make sure that no one is watching him. It’s getting late, and the thought of someone seeing him here tugs at the corner of his mind. Fraternization laws loom over him and his feelings for his subordinate like an ever-present shadow, but the worry fades as quickly as it arrives. He’s not here for anything improper. He’s here because she matters to him; because there’s no one left to look after her. 

Still, he hesitates, because while he knows he could handle anyone else’s reaction to this, he’s not so sure about his ability to handle Riza’s. Riza is fiercely guarded, even with him. He’s seen her face battlefields without so much as a flinch, always calm, always composed. Vulnerability isn’t something she shows easily- not even to him- not in a very long time. Will she be mad at him for dropping by like this unannounced when he knows she’s going to be at her worst? She had to have been doing awful this morning to call in. 

After standing in front of her door for an embarrassingly long few minutes, Roy figures that, even if she is upset at him for showing up while she’s sick, the comfort of knowing she’s okay will be worth whatever she can throw at him. So, Roy knocks on the door. Black Hayate immediately starts yapping- behind the door, Roy hears the sound of his tiny footsteps followed by the sound of his paws scratching at the door, but Riza still doesn’t answer. 

The seconds stretch painfully long. He glances at his watch, watching the second hand tick once, twice, thrice. A full two minutes pass, and he begins to think she’s either asleep or too unwell to answer. Just as he steps back to leave, the door creaks open.

“Lieutenant,” He greets, his voice coming out a little softer than he intended for it to.

“Sir,” Riza addresses him formally even though they’re alone, a habit that Roy suspects will never die- and, quite frankly, she looks like shit. 

Her once neat, golden blond hair is frizzy and oily, loosely tied into a messy ponytail to keep it away from her face. Her cheeks are flushed a hot pink while the rest of her face is sickly pale, and her forehead is covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She’s wearing an oversized button up and a pair of baggy pajama pants. Whether she’s embarrassed or surprised, Roy isn’t sure, but she hides most of her body behind the door upon realizing that it’s him, peeking her head out to analyze his expression with her tired eyes. 

“Are you alright?” He asks as Black Hayate slips out the door to sit at his feet and sniff his legs. 

“Did something happen?” She questions, her voice hoarse and dry as she changes the subject from her unfortunate condition. “Why are you here?”

“It’s unlike you to call in sick, lieutenant, that’s all,” Roy answers before she can worry too much. Though it would be just their luck for an emergency to happen on the one day she calls in, today was actually pretty normal, if not boring. He notes the slight tension in her brow, the way her lips press together as if suppressing an apology for being unwell. “I thought I should come check on you.”

“Right,” Riza clears her throat, wincing at the strain of the action. It’s evident that the action is painful. “Well, as much as I appreciate your concern, sir, I’m just fine. I’ll be back in tomorrow or the next day, so you don’t need to worry about finding coverage for me again-”

“You are not coming back to work tomorrow,” Roy interjects, able to see just how sick she is. “You have to rest at home to get better. Coming into the office like this will only make you sick for longer.”

“But sir, I’m alright,” Riza tries to argue, but while Roy would normally entertain it, he doesn’t this time.

“Clearly not,” He argues back, shaking his head and placing a hand on the outside doorknob. “I’m coming in.”

“What? This place is a mess-” 

“I don’t care,” Roy walks past the door and into Riza’s small apartment, taking his boots off at the entryway and leaving them beside the row of shoes lined up beside Riza’s welcome mat. Black Hayate follows him closely. He shuts the door, locking it behind him, and tries his best to ignore the way Riza is rushing around to pick up the apartment; a stack of papers on the coffee table in the living room, a discarded pair of panties and a large t-shirt off of the floor. He can’t, however, ignore the sound of running water in the kitchen. He enters the room to see that the sink is full of soapy water and about to overflow. That must’ve been why she took so long to answer the door. “Were you… Doing dishes?”

“Yes,” Riza calls out, and then follows him into the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you’re cleaning when you’re this sick,” Roy chastises and reaches forward to turn off the faucet before it can overflow onto the counter and floor. “Have you even eaten anything?”

“No,” Riza shakes her head and takes the bag of food from Roy’s hands, setting it on the kitchen table. “I tried this morning, but I wasn’t able to keep anything down.”

“How about water?” Roy questions, to which Riza grimaces. 

“Not much luck there either. In fact, trying to drink water only made it worse.”

“That bad, huh?”

“...I suppose so,” Riza shrugs, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing her arms over her chest. “I did go to the doctor to get checked out after I called in this morning. He gave me some medicine to take; anti-nausea and some pain meds. He said it’s just a stomach bug that’s been going around and that I should be fine within a couple days.”

“You should’ve called me personally to let me know…”

“It’s not as if I’m dying.”

And instead of saying ‘I still worry about you’ like he wants to, Roy says-

“Sit down and try to eat some of the food I brought. I’ll finish the dishes.”

“Sir, you really don’t have to do that, I’m perfectly capable of-”

“You. Are. Sick. Sit down- that’s an order, lieutenant.”

Riza smiles and rolls her eyes at him, but sits down at the kitchen table and unpacks the food. 

“Hopefully this anti-nausea my doctor prescribed has kicked in. I’m starving,” Riza hums and opens the bowl of egg drop soup, picking at it with a plastic spoon. Roy takes off his gloves, pocketing them before grabbing a sponge and beginning to wash the dirty dishes. “How was work today?”

“Boring. The office felt so… Empty without you there,” Roy admits, thinking back to the workday. When Falman told him that Riza would be absent, his heart had dropped and shattered into tiny little pieces within his chest in a way that he didn’t know it could. The day was painfully boring without Riza to talk to. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“My day’s been rather boring as well, so unless you want to hear about the gruesome details of me being hunched over my toilet bowl…”

“Right,” Roy laughs. “What should we talk about instead, then?”

“We don’t have to talk,” Riza responds. “I enjoy your company as is.”

“Right…” 

So, they stay in Riza’s kitchen, silent besides the sounds of the scrub being brushed against Riza’s dishes and gentle slurp of Riza drinking her soup. When Roy finishes washing the dishes, he dries them off and puts them away in Riza’s kitchen cabinets before sitting down at the table with her to eat his food.

Something about this is so… Domestic, from his shoes being left behind at her door, to him being able to wash her dishes, to them sitting alone at her kitchen table like this on a regular evening, eating together with Black Hayate napping between them on the floor.

They eat in comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional cough from Riza or the rustle of a napkin. The air feels warm and easy despite Riza’s condition. As Roy watches her pick at her soup, he feels a pang of something he can’t quite name. A longing, maybe. Or perhaps gratitude- for moments like this, fleeting but meaningful. 

“You don’t have to stay here, you know,” Riza murmurs after a while. “You checked on me like you wanted. I’m sure you have better things to do with your evening, so whenever you want to go...”

Roy leans back in his chair, watching as Riza’s expression shifts with something he’s not used to seeing; uncertainty. This, he decides, is where he belongs tonight.

“I’m exactly where I need to be,” Roy replies, meeting her gaze. “You look like you could use a caretaker for the night, anyway.”

Riza raises an eyebrow at that.

“What, like you’re going to stay the night here?”

“Why not? No one saw me come in,” Roy shrugs. “I’ll clean the rest of the house, pick up more medicine if you need it, hold your hair for you while you puke… You know, the romantic stuff.”

“Well, if you insist… I guess I wouldn’t mind your company.”

“It’s settled, then.”

~

After cleaning up the kitchen and finishing their quiet meal, the evening wears on, and the fatigue etched into Riza’s face grows more pronounced. Roy glances at his watch. It’s late, and the unspoken question of what happens next hangs heavy in the air.

Riza stands from where they’re sitting on the living room couch and reaches into the small paper bag on the coffee table to pull out two pill bottles. She opens them both, fishing out a tablet from each and taking them with a sip of water. There’s a slight nervous energy in the air that Roy can’t quite shake. 

“You should go get some rest,” He says, breaking the silence. “I’ll be here.”

Riza crosses her arms, leaning against the back of the chair. 

“You don’t really plan on sleeping on the couch, do you?” She asks.

“Unless you’d rather me on the floor,” He teases.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not going to fit on that couch, and you know it.”

“I’ve slept in worse places,” Roy shrugs, waving off her concern. “I can handle one night on the couch.”

“I didn’t let you stay with the intention of you leaving with a back injury,” Her tone softens, but there’s a firmness in it that allows no argument. She looks toward her bedroom door and then back at him, hesitating before speaking. “You can sleep in the bed.”

He blinks. 

“I’m not kicking you out of your own bed while you’re sick. That’s just evil.”

“I wasn’t suggesting you do,” She replies, holding his gaze. Her cheeks flush slightly- whether from fever or embarrassment, he’s not sure. “It’s big enough for two. And it’s not like this is the first time we’ve been close.”

Roy stares at her, caught somewhere between disbelief and something warmer. He opens his mouth to argue but thinks better of it. She’s right, and probably not in the mood to argue with him while she’s ill. Still, the idea of sharing her bed feels… Intimate in a way he isn’t sure he’s prepared for. They slept together in a tent a handful of times in Ishval, but that was… Different. There, they were wartorn and desperate for comfort and Roy’s only other option was rooming with Solf J. Kimblee. Here, they’re in Riza’s apartment and Roy could turn around and go home to his own bed if he really wanted to. 

“Alright,” He agrees, scratching the back of his neck. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Riza answers simply, already heading toward the bedroom.

Roy follows her, glancing around her room as he steps inside. It’s a bit of a mess, which he expects after having seen the rest of her apartment today. There’s a few personal touches- books stacked on the nightstand and a small framed photo of her and Black Hayate on the wall make it feel distinctively hers. She grabs an extra pillow from her closet, fluffs it, and tosses it onto the bed.

“You take the left,” She says, climbing into the right side and pulling the blanket over herself. Black Hayate pads into the room, hops onto the bed, and curls up against the small of Riza’s back. “Goodnight, sir.”

Roy chuckles softly as he settles in beside her, keeping a careful distance. 

“Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

The room falls quiet. The only sounds are the faint hum of traffic outside and Riza’s steady breathing. Despite his initial unease about this, Roy feels a strange sense of calm. The day’s worries slip away, replaced by the quiet comfort of being close to her.

~

Hours later, the calm shatters.

Roy wakes to the sound of retching; something loud and painful and so not Riza that it fills his chest with a pang of concern. He bolts upright, disoriented for a moment, before realizing the bed beside him is empty. The muffled sound of vomiting comes from the bathroom connected to the bedroom.

“Riza,” He calls before he can think better of it, slipping out of bed and moving quickly toward the noise. They’re past the point of formal titles 24/7, though he doubts she heard him regardless. “You okay?”

Roy reaches the bathroom and knocks on the door once, then twice. When Riza doesn’t answer, he goes ahead and opens it. He finds her hunched over the toilet, her hands gripping the edge of the bowl as she dry-heaves miserably. The sight tugs at his chest.

“Roy,” Riza groans. The toilet bowl is full of remnants of their dinner mixed with stomach acid and water. Beside it is a flurry of used tissues, covered in spit and vomit. “Go back to bed.”

Roy shakes his head, kneeling down beside her as she retches again. With one hand, he rubs her back, and with the other, he holds her hair away from her face. 

“Hey,” He says softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She shakes her head, but she’s too weak to really protest. The effort she’s putting into just staying upright is heartbreaking.

When the worst of it passes, Riza slumps back against the bathroom wall, her eyes glassy and tired. 

“I’m sorry,” She murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Don’t apologize,” Roy says firmly, grabbing a washcloth from the bathroom cabinet and running it under cool water. He kneels in front of her, pressing the damp cloth to her forehead. “You can’t control this.”

She closes her eyes, leaning into the sensation. 

“This is humiliating.”

“It’s not. You’d do the same for me,” He counters. “You’re sick, Riza. Let me help. You’re not going to get better all by yourself.”

Hesitantly, Riza agrees.

“...Okay.”

Roy stands, filling a glass of water and crouching beside her again. 

“Try to drink a little.”

She grimaces but takes a small sip, grim determination written across her face. When it stays down, she sighs in relief.

“Thank you,” Riza’s lips quirk upward faintly, but exhaustion quickly overtakes her. Roy helps her to her feet, steadying her as they shuffle back to the bedroom. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

Roy shakes his head as he tucks her back into bed, climbing in beside her.

“I know… But I wanted to.”

“Well… Thank you.”

“Any time,” He smiles. “Now, let’s go back to sleep. Unlike you, I still have to go to work in the morning.”

Surprisingly enough, Riza turns to face Roy, scooting closer to him. Roy moves a couple inches forward, and then a couple more. Before either of them have the time to think about the consequences, Roy wraps his arms around Riza to pull her even closer, allowing her to snuggle up against his chest. 

“Goodnight,” She says. 

“Goodnight, Riza.”

[radskull-69]

Could u make a short one-shot about Bob Velseb x Y/n plz!! Also I love your work!

plot: Bob is your boss who has always sweet on you and does things he wouldn’t normally do for his employees, like defend them against a wild Karen or give them breaks for longer then an hour….blow up your messages every night.

You resisted the urge to even hav your eye twitch in agitation (hell, to not leap over this counter!) as the older woman across from you behind the counter was going off at you, they hadn’t even ordered yet.

something about us murdering animals when we should’ve been selling vegan meat.

honestly, you didn’t get it. If you don’t want meat in your food don’t come to a diner with MEAT!

“I am sick of you monsters butchering up poor defenceless animals! I wanna see your manager!” Her manicured hand slammed down onto the counter, her screeching voice ringing out around the shop and making other customers either give you annoyed glared or sympathetic looks.

yet no one came in to help, you’d give them the finger if you could. But your too much of a pussy to do that, and you value this job.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” The woman jabs a finger at you, making you lean back as she got more and more hostile. “Do you not care for animals? You disgusting-!”

“What’s all dis’ ruckus about? Heard someone wanted me.” A deep southern voice sounded out behind you, tilting your head up you were met with bob looming over you and casting a large shadow over the now (finally) quiet woman.

Oh great, one of the other employees must of went and got him for you. Awesome.. this is just gonna make matters worse.

“I-I.. yes! I wanted to tell you that your employee here won’t sell me any vegan burgers.” The woman finally fixes her scared look and with a stumble goes back to glaring, though no longer yelling.

“Hmm, well. If ya haven’t notice yet.” Bob leaned forward to rest his arm heavily on the counter, even though you were in-front of him. So now while he bended over to do just that you had to bend over slightly as well as to not get crushed from him, face beer red as you kept your eyes trained to the red counter

“This is a diner, not a front yawn where ya munch of grass.” Despite his usual large grin it was obviously strained and his eyes were wide and full of warning, you shivered. Glad to not be on the other end of the stick of that.

“Well- excuse you-!” Before the woman could even finish her sentence with a look of high offence she suddenly shut up, and it almost looked like the blood drained from her face as if a vampire sucked it out.

You wondered what kind of look Bob must’ve given her to scare her so because with a stutter she was out the door before you could blink.

You stood there in confusion and once again tilted your head up curiously to look at bob’s face but were only met with a much softer look and worry on his features, one of his large hands coming up to your shoulder and turning you to face him better.

”you doin’ alright darlin’? Sorry ya had ta’ deal with that witch longer then ya had ta’, saw her comin’ awfully close to ya though..” his brows furrow, creating a worry line between them as I looks you over. You only let out a nod and a ‘uh huh’ as he did so, painfully aware of the stares some of the customers where giving you at the moment still.

“I’m fine, just a bit spooked is all. But I’ve been working in customer service for years so it’s nothing I can’t handle” you wave off his concerns and gently grabbed the hand that was tugging on the collar of your uniform to check for any unhidden injuries, you didn’t need your boss of all people to accidentally look down your shirt.

“Hmm.. if ya say so, but I think you deserve a break. A thirty min- no, a full hour break. With me, in my office.” Bob nodded to himself and the worry was washed off his face and instead replaced with a look of satisfaction with his arrangement he made up for you.

“Oh no- it’s fine, really! I don’t want to bother-“ you were scooting away from bob with a polite smile but his arm wrapped around your torso and before you could say anything more he was already leading you through the staff door and to his office as he chuckled in earnest

“Nonsense! I made ya some lunch for yer’ break actually an’ I wanna have yer’ opinion on em’. Remember? I sent ya a text about it last night while I was makin’ em. There yer’ face food right?” He tilted his head down to you for affirmation as he shut his door behind him, his arm finally leaving your torso with a slight linger you didn’t notice

you sighed and nodded, he kept you a bit past your bedtime with his texts, like he did almost every night. You didn’t speak up on the matter of your sleep schedule being interrupted and instead sat at one of the two leather chairs infront of his desk facing towards it

“Mhm, thanks again Bob.” You shot him a genuine smile, grateful for the free food. And a added plus of bob being a damn good cook.

“Of course!” He strolled up to you from behind as you sat in the seat, hands setting themselves on your shoulders heavily as he leaned down to your level to chuckle lowly in your ear. The grip on your shoulders tightening just a fraction as you tensed.

“Anythin’ for my favourite lil employee~”

[bellysoupset]

"So..." Wendy yawned as she settled on the passenger seat of Bella's car, stripping her raincoat and throwing it in the backseat. They drove out of her street, the rain just starting to pelter off, "are we gonna talk about it?"

"The fact you spent two whole days in Doveport babysitting your boyfriend's sidepiece?" Bella snapped and Wendy raised her eyebrows, mouth hanging open at the unwarranted jab.

Bella probably saw her wounded look, because she cringed, squeezing the steering wheel, "sorry..."

"Yeah, damn right you're sorry," Wendy blinked quickly, struggling to regain her composure, "that was so unbelievably rude, Bella."

"I'm sorry," Bell repeated, taking her eyes off the road for a split second, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just... I don't want to talk about it."

It being the miscarriage. Wendy sighed, deciding to cut her friend some slack given the strenuous circumstances and reached over the handbrake to squeeze Bell's thigh in an amiable manner.

"Okay, we can not talk about it, that's alright... But you're okay? I mean, not emotionally" — it was painfully obvious the answer to that question — "but physically?"

"Yeah," Bella's voice was weirdly chirpy, a tone she never used and Wendy immediately clocked as fake-happy, "I'm alright, it was like having a heavy period," she removed a hand from the steering wheel, running it through her curls, fingers getting all tangled up on the auburn ringlets, "so... Are you gonna tell me about the weekend off?"

Wendy felt a flash of viciousness, thanks to the previous comment, but she swallowed her petty response and looked out of the window as they drove to Luke and Bell's new place, "honestly it was a lot more fun than it should've been, considering the guy broke his ankle."

Bella let out a snort at that, but didn't comment and Wendy continued on to ramble.

"Vince was, of course, beating himself up over Max breaking his ankle. Severe mental gymnastics to carry the weight of the whole world on his shoulders," she rolled her eyes dramatically and Bella let out a little chuckle, visibly relaxing.

"Well, that's Vin for you," she grinned, taking an exit and drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, "he was probably worried out of his mind, he's such a mother hen."

"Yep," Wendy smiled at that, "although Max is really fine, just struggling with learning he can't use the broken foot... It's a shame you didn't get to hang out with him much at the cabin, he's so similar to you. You, but a dude."

"Hot as fuck and a little mean," Bella's smile was genuine now, from ear to ear, "I liked him, even with all the unflattering propaganda Luke was doing of him. Too bad he's four hours over."

"You talk as if it's so far away," Wendy yawned once again, "in fact, have you been to Doveport? Even once?"

Bella seemed taken back by the question, eyebrows jumping up and then she squinted as they stopped on a red light, "no, but you told me I wasn't missing out on anything..." she turned fully to look at Wendy, "did you change your mind?"

"No, the town is boring as hell," Wendy frowned at the weird tone, "but Vince is there and his family is lovely. His mom is teaching me how to cook, she's a blast. Max is a lot of fun too... Really, you guys are all holed up here, but it wouldn't kill you to go over once or twice."

Alright, now she was sounding a little mean, Wendy thought, breathing in as Bella continued to watch her in a flabbergasted manner, "Vince misses you, a lot."

There, the truth, but that wasn't her scolding Bell and the rest of their friend group for sitting on their asses and expecting Vince to always visit when they couldn't be bothered to go to his town even once. She had been subtle enough, right?

The light turned green once more and Bella looked ahead, clearly lost in thought. A heavy silence settled in the car, which Wendy wasn't sure who to blame for, since she hadn't said the quiet part out loud, and they reached a suburban area, filled with pine trees.

"Sure," Bell said, slowing down the car, "you're right. I never been there, you're right."

Okay....

Wendy raised an eyebrow, "I'm right," she echoed, the affirmation sounding like a question and Bella nodded quickly, her curls bouncing.

"Yeah, I'll go over to Doveport. We will go," she promised and Wendy suddenly wasn't so sure if they were talking about the same thing, given how serious Bell sounded.

"Alright," she agreed, confused, "good. That's great..." Wen looked out of her window, "are we here?"

"Next street," Bella's voice was all soft and Wendy was starting to get really unnerved by how out of character her friend was acting. She looked over her shoulder, just in time to see Bella open a big, genuine, smile as they entered the next street.

It was a no exit street and at the very ending of it there was a large sugar maple tree, filled with orange leaves. On each side of the street Wendy could see older, but sturdy houses, none of them too similar, but all sporting a tudor style.

"There," Bell pointed ahead, to the second to last house, "that's ours."

The pride tinging her words was palpable and Wendy felt a knot in her throat as she remembered that two years before she had taken Bella by the hand and helped her pick a tiny condo to live in after a nasty break up. How everything had changed so quickly overnight?

"Oh, it's... Great, actually," Wendy voiced, surprise tinging her words and Bell let out a snort at her tone, parking the car in front of it.

"Didn't you have any faith in me?" She teased, getting out at the same time as Wendy, "it's old, I know-"

"Yep," Wendy popped the P of the word, following the ginger down the limestone path that led to the front door. The front yard was more than overgrown, some weeds reaching about her waist, but Wendy could see the beauty and the potential of it all, "but it's pretty, I'll give you that."

"Right!?" Bella sounded terribly excited as she walked up the eight stone steps that separated the front door from the yard, "it's so charming."

"I was expecting something more... Dramatic," Wendy admitted, taking in the construction. It looked like a stone chateau, with four rounded windows facing the yard and a sunken door, two colonial lamps framing it, "I thought you'd go for a townhouse or a victorian mini mansion."

Bella wrinkled her nose at that, "a mansion? I hate doing chores, why would I get a big place?" she rolled her eyes, opening the front door, "welcome to the Martinez-Atwood home, Ms. Marshall."

Wendy chuckled at her antics, making a big show of taking her first step and Bell followed her, looping their arms together and showing them around.

On the first floor there was a spacious living room with an ancient fireplace, a small extremely dark powder room, a yellow kitchen that was probably a safety hazard with how old it was — one door leading to the dining room, the second one to a mudroom that gave to the backyard and if Wendy thought the front one was in a bad state...

"You need to get that trimmed down, you'll find a whole family of snakes there, Bell," Wendy reprimanded, refusing to step out to the back. On the living room there was a set of stairs, leading to the second floor and Bella gestured for her to follow.

Upstairs there were three bedrooms, although Wendy wouldn't call one of them a bedroom, given how small it was. Between the first two, a small full bathroom, and at the end of the hallway a much larger suite, facing the backyard.

"I'm thinking, this could be a study of some sort?" Bella pointed the small 'bedroom', "I work from home, so this would be neat. Besides, Luke has a million books..." she walked out, entering the second room, "and this one's a guest room-" the for now hung in the air, unspoken but loud and clear, so much so that Bell cleared her throat and turned away from Wendy, "so uhm... You-you better help me decorate it."

"Are you sure? I'll make it pink," Wendy teased her, but her own heart was squeezing as she realized this room was most definitely a nursery in Bell's mind. She wondered if she had known, about the pregnancy, if they had...

"No," Bella shook her head and it took Wen a whole ten seconds to realized she was answering the joke and not the unspoken question, "no pink. But maybe a dark magenta? That would be cool."

"Sure, I can work with that..." Wendy walked around, opening the ancient built in wardrobe, that looked like something out of Narnia, and then out of the window. This room faced the street, Bella's car sitting all alone out there, "Bell..."

As if hearing it in her voice, Bella's head snapped up and she shook it from side to side, "please, don't," her voice was all choked up, "I'm ha- I wanna be happy with this, please don't... Just don't."

Wendy bit down her lip, nodding and opening her arms, "can I have a hug?"

The ginger hesitated, before crossing the room and throwing her arms around Wendy... And then squeezing her so tightly that Wen's air ran out. She squeezed her friend right back, wishing she could comfort her even more than just a hug, but understanding this was all Bell could take at the moment.

"I love you," she mumbled against Bella's curls, on her tiptoes.

Wendy felt a shudder run through her friend and then a small, weak "I love you too" in return. Outside, it started to rain again.

[nyuoqi]

            — EXES ALERT     ౨ৎ     KTR

023 𖤐 confession (on-hold)

✸ SYNOPSIS !  : in which you and taerae went all the way back to the last year of middle school where the two of you were painfully in love with each other yet refused to put on any label because you guys thought this was more fun, and it went on all the way to the second year of high school. well that was until you ghosted him

or in which your situationship from four years ago happens to be your partner for a romance drama

The sweet aroma of a home-cooked meal filled the air as the atmosphere couldn't feel more like home if not for the loud chatters from your aunt and uncles. On the floor were your little cousins playing around with their toys and chatting just as loud as their parents were.

You were in the kitchen helping your mum preparing dinner to serve to your family. You've always loved being in the kitchen with your mum. Recently however, your mum seemed to be asking you super specific odd questions.

"What will you do if Taerae confess to you tonight? " The knife you were holding to cut a zucchini earlier slipped from your hand and grazed your finger as your heart skipped a beat at the sudden specific question.

"Why are you suddenly asking me that? " Your heart was beating so fast that you swore you could hear it in your ears. You've never told your mum anything about your romantic escapades with Taerae and surely not a single word about Taerae courting you and meeting you tonight. So how did she know all these exactly?

Your mum snickered at your panicked state, as if mocking you or some sort. "You think I don't see the way he looked at you when he dropped you and Jinyoung off this morning? " She let out another scoff and continued to resume simmering the bone broth. "Quit getting so shocked about something so trivial and go wash your finger, it's bleeding. "

Your eyes widened in panic as you lifted your finger to see that it was indeed bleeding. You wasted no time and turned the faucet on, letting the cold water run on your small wound. "Oh right, have you seen Jinyoung today? He wasn't in his bedroom and he has been awfully quiet today. " You tried diverting the topic as a way to mask your embarrassment.

Your mum shrugged, "Maybe he's out with friends. Just let him be, he's an adult he can manage to take care of himself. " You nodded in agreement. The faucet now turned off as you rummaged through cabinets to search for the aid kit to treat your wound. Just as you wrapped your finger with a bandaid, one of your younger cousin tapped your shoulder.

"Some hyung is at the door. He said he's looking for Bae Y/n. "

You glanced at the clock on your wall and saw that it was exactly eight in the afternoon. You looked back at your cousin and patted his head, "Thanks for telling me, Hajun. Can you tell that hyung that I will be there soon? " Your cousin nodded and you smiled as you watched him run towards the living room and to the front door.

Without wasting anymore time, you cleaned up everything you used and head towards the front door too.

"Hi. " A wide smiley man with brunette hair greeted you once you arrived at the front door. "You looked nice today. I guess not coming over before eight was really worth it if it means I can see you all dressed up and pretty for me. "

Crimson red flushed on your cheeks as you felt yourself getting shy at the compliment. "Whatever, come in over. " You brushed it off quickly to conceal how hard your heart was beating against your rib cage.

"Taerae my lovely boy! Oh my gosh I missed you so much! " Your mum trudged from the kitchen to engulfed Taerae in a hug. "I missed you too, auntie. " Taerae smiled and hugged her back.

Your mum pushed his face back and stared into his eyes. "Do not ever disappear like that again no matter what my daughter says. Did you know that I had to find out from the television that you became an actor? " You saw Taerae visibly cartoon-gulped and decided to step in and separate the two.

"Okay enough with the sappy reunion. Can we go eat now? " Your mum rolled her eyes as you separate her from who she consider her favourite son. 

"Actually, can you all go ahead and have dinner first? I need to talk to Y/n for a while. " Your family stood frozen in silence at Taerae's request. You had your finger pointing to yourself in confusion. Taerae bit his lip. "Please. " And with that everyone head towards the dining table.

At the click of your bedroom door, you turned towards Taerae who was already making himself comfortable on your bed. You joined him shortly after that. "So what is it that you wanted to tell me? "

You saw Taerae fumbled with the paper bag in his hand which you saw him hide behind his back since he entered your house.

"Y/n, " he started, voice shaky. "I know I promised you three dates before I officially ask you to be my girlfriend. And I swear I had it all planned out but the moment I heard that you won't be here for long I just had to rush things out— "

Your heart clenched, this cannot be happening.

"But don't worry! I prepared you a present to replace the third date. " The brown paper bag he was trying so hard to hide from earlier was now shoved into your hands. "It's not really pretty considering that I only had six hours to complete it but I hope you like it. "

You carefully undid the tape on the paper bag so that it won't tear. Once done, you smiled in satisfaction at the perfect state of the bag before fishing out the content inside.

It was a small floral pouch. It wasn't big at all, in fact you can probably only store coins and cards in it. You observed the pouch and saw some imperfections to it. But you didn't care, not when Taerae spent his time and energy into this.

"I hope it's okay. " His voice small and faint in the background. "I know it's not perfect but I hope you like it. And just so you know, Jinyoung helped me which is why you haven't been seeing him today— "

"It's gorgeous. " You cut him off. Your eyes looked at him and smiled, Taerae who had been a nervous wreck earlier smiled together with you. His eyes travelled to the pouch you were holding and saw your bandage-wrapped finger.

"You're hurt. " He blurted out. You were about to question what he meant by that when you remembered your wounded finger. "Oh it's nothing. I just cut myself when cooking just now. "

You tried hiding your hand with the wounded finger but Taerae was quicker as he grabbed onto it. "It's really nothing. It will probably heal in a few days and— oh. " Your rambling was cut short when Taerae lifted that hand and place a kiss on top of your bandaged finger.

"My mum used to tell me that the best medicine for a wound is a kiss. So now I'm kissing your wound better. "

You felt your body get hotter, painting your face crimson red. Taerae chuckled, "Are you blushing? You know what, this colour suits you well. You should ask your makeup artist for this colour from now on. " You gasped lightly as he quoted the same words you told him during your dinner together with Hanbin and Junhyeon. The dinner where he confessed his feelings to you and made you fall for him all over again (not that you were any less in love with him).

Taerae continued to stare at you, his eyes occasionally dropping towards your lips. He leaned forward and grabbed the back of your head, tilting his head. Your heart beat against your ribs when you realised what was about to happen. His lips were only millimetres away from touching yours when you pulled yourself back, face flushed.

"I'm sorry I can't Taerae, I— " you chocked on your words as you tried calming yourself down. Taerae froze in shocked when you pulled yourself away from him. Was he acting too carelessly? Was he going too fast?

"No I am to one who should be sorry. I mean, who am I to kiss you when I haven't even asked you out. " You turned your face towards him and held his hand. "No it wasn't your fault. It's just that I also have my own confession plan tomorrow and it's so perfect and I feel bad that I keep on making you take me out on dates while I sit around and do nothing. "

"Now that I think of it, it's so rude of me to reject your kiss and your offer to be your girlfriend just because I haven't taken you out on a date— Taerae, kiss me. " Taerae's eyes widened as he was taken aback by your sudden demand.

He shook his head in refusal. "I'm not kissing you out of pity, Y/n. If you want to wait until tomorrow then I will wait until tomorrow. "

It was now your turn to shook your head, "Just kiss me. We've kissed before in the drama. What's much of a difference if i were to kiss you here right now. " Your persistence nearly made Taerae caved in but he stood to his guard.

"No. I'm not kissing you today. " Your lips pouted at those words which did not went unnoticed by Taerae. "Stop pouting, you look like a duck. "

You scoffed at him.

"Now quit sulking and let's head to dinner, shall we? I'm pretty sure your family is wondering what we've been doing in here. "

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