#but on the other hand that didn't happen and you're constantly haunted by her (which is understandable) but... it's not healthy

[darkpoisonouslove]

The way both their past is defined by mutual obsession between them and their greatest enemies and they're now at a tipping point where all that comes to a head and then to a close just in time for them to get married and build a life together.

[eilishsmuse]

confess that you were lost

— billie eilish x fem!reader

context. friendship? relationship? situationship? you have no clue what you have with billie. and she doesn’t really clarify what is going on between you two either. all you really know is that there’s a thin line of platonic and romantic the two of you constantly cross over for one another.

cw. angst, swearing, heartbreak, jealousy, suggestive, makeout, reader feels thrown to the side constantly, billie is very unaware with the situation, lowk gets a lil slutty, lowk smut, lowk cliffhanger, good ending ig

soundtrack. temptations - partynextdoor

anon’s ask. “there’s not enough billie angst so how about a situation where reader likes billie but billie’s playing with the line of platonic and romantic so r just doesn’t want to risk hurting the friendship”

You're dumb

Well no. Not really. You just fell in love with your best friend, that's all. Which, in your case, was dumb to even begin with. You don't even know how it initially happened. One day you were breaking up with your boyfriend, and Billie was there, comforting you every second of the way.

I mean, it was the real package. Break up with your boyfriend, get endless amounts of affection from Billie, and let her smother you with affection, both physically and verbally. As a friend.

That's what sucked. It was just a way of Billie being a good friend.

But since the breakup, she has been more touchy and affectionate than before. Of course, your delusional self saw it as one of Billie's many ways of flirting. But you were wrong. Billie just, in all honesty, casually likes hopping over the thin line between platonic and romantic. And it haunted you.

Now you were here, sitting on Billie's couch as she raved about one of her most recent hookups with some girl she met at her friend Charli's birthday party. And you sat there, head on hand, as she gidded about all the lust and enjoyment she got out of the hookup. A TV show playing the background you were planning to binge with Billie.

"I mean, it was great," Billie half-laughed out. "Definitely top five from now on."

"That's nice," You fake smiled, glancing over at the TV as the show played on the screen. Letting the sound of the dialogue flood your ears. Not wanting to hear about Billie and her hookup anymore. Jealousy eating you inside and out.

A small frown settled on Billie's lips as she watched you look away from her to the TV. "Why do you suddenly seem annoyed?" She questioned.

Billie had always been able to notice the slight changes in your mood towards her, whether they were negative or positive. She knew your body language well enough, that she easily picked up the signs.

You take a small breath in and looked back over at Billie, your eyes fluttering as they landed on hers. Your eyebrows raising in 'confusion', eyebrows furrowing as well, "I'm not ."

Lie. That was a lie. You were jealous. You hated hearing Billie constantly talk about her hookups all while you listened to her in silence and torture.

Billie's frown continued to deepen. She didn't believe your lie for a second. And that's why she leaned closer to you, her gaze never leaving you. "Bullshit," she bluntly called out, shaking her head.

Billie always knew when you were lying. You couldn't fool her. At least not the way you usually did with your other friends.

"Dude c'mon, I've known you long enough to know when you're lying," she added, letting herself scoot closer to you.

Her slender hand came in contact with your cheek, gently caressing the warm skin with her fingertips. She wanted your honest answer. Sacred what was going on through your mind. Worried for you. Like a true friend.

Just then your skin tingled at Billie's touch. It was a common gesture between the both of you. She'd always been touchy with you in that friend way and it never bothered you. Not fully. You just wished it was more than that friend way.

You then finally took a deep breath in at Billie's words. Your eyes hooded as they looked into hers. A small glimpse of sadness and tiredness laced all throughout them.

A pang of worry hit her gut as her eyes studied your expression. It was a mixture of sadness and exhaustion. She could practically feel the pain you were in. What pain? She didn't know. But still, she wanted to be there for you.

Billie's hand slid down from your cheek to your chin. She gently pinched her thumb and forefinger in order to raise your chin, so your gaze wouldn't stray from hers again.

Billie's features softened, her usual bright eyes looking at you with nothing but worry for you.

"You know you can always tell me the truth," Billie softly assured you. Her touch on your chin never faltered. In fact, it gently caressed your skin with her thumb.

It hurt Billie so much, to see those sad and tired eyes as they searched hers. She longed to know what you were thinking. What was making you feel that way? To figure out a way to make you feel better - maybe even smile.

She gently caressed your chin with her thumb, her eyes searching your face for any sign as to what was truly bothering you. But she was clueless. All she knew was that you were upset, and that hurt her the most.

"I know something's up," she spoke again, her tone soft and soothing.

Billie let go of your chin and tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, her eyes never leaving your own.

Billie wasn't stupid. She could see the jealousy radiating off of you.

For a split second, you leaned into Billie's touch. Eyes closing for a moment and cherishing the moment. Her gentle touch was so delicate that when you leaned into it, her hand had no choice but to press up against your head with more force.

"I just-"

Your voice was gentle and low, cracking almost. You weren't on the verge of tears or anything, but the way your throat tightened and swelled as if you'd woken up with a cold said something differently.

Billie watched your expression as your eyes shut for a split second. The way you practically melted into her touch was something that always made her heart flutter.

Her hand stayed against your head, gently rubbing over your temple with her thumb. She was now patiently waiting for you to voice your thoughts, and she had all the time in the world for you.

"Just…?" she softly whispered, encouraging you to continue speaking.

Billie's eyes searched your face for anything that could hint what was going on in your mind. Her thumb continued to gently rub against your temple, trying to soothe any and all thoughts that were causing you to react the way you did.

She knew you. She knew your body language better than anyone else. And all the while, her heart ached at the fact that you were hurting. She hated seeing you in that way. And the fact that you won't say the reason why was killing her.

A quite half whine and sigh came from you. Your eyes now more noticeably showing sadness and fear behind them.

Was this really the time? Billie just finished raving about her 'amazing' hookup, and now here you are on the verge of confessing your love for your own best friend. She wasn't making it any easier either.

With the way her soft, gentle touch feathered across the skin on your temple and the way her eyes searched for any emotions in your body language and eye movement.

Just the way her whole demeanor changed just for you.

Billie's eyes continued to study your face, never straying anywhere else. Her heart felt like it was beating too fast.

She hated this. Hated how you looked so sad and fearful and how you weren't telling her what was wrong. She felt powerless. All she could do was sit and try to soothe you with her touch until you found your voice again.

Billie could feel the atmosphere change. The shift in your body language was very noticeable, and her eyes picked up on it in an instant. "Please, just talk to me," she softly pleaded.

"I can't."

At this point, your voice was scratchy and on the verge of cracking from how tight your throat formed from the emotions. Your eyes shut as soon as you said your words. Your face contorted into a fit of guilt and worry for what was to come in the next few moments.

Your breathing was now heavier and faster than before. Chest rising and sinking with vigorous speed. Face heating in Billie's touch. Mind hazy and blurred.

The more you spoke, the more concern and worry built up inside of Billie. She hated seeing you so torn and upset. Her heart nearly shattered apart when your voice cracked from the emotions.

Her thumb continued to rub over your temple gently, as if to soothe the guilt and worry that was etched on your face. Her other hand moved to hold your cheek, wanting to keep you grounded.

Billie could feel the emotions radiating off of you. She could see and sense the uneasiness and tension.

Billie's features hardened as she could see the look of guilt and worry cross your face with your squeezed shut eyes. She gently gripped your chin and pulled your face up, forcing you to open your eyes and look at her.

"Why can't you?" she softly demanded.

Your heart was pounding. And she knew that. She could feel it under her fingers that were gently pinched around your chin, holding your face steady.

Billie's eyes searched yours, almost pleading with you to tell her the reason why you were so hurt and guilty.

She didn't like this. She hated this. Hated seeing you in pain and not knowing how to fix it.

"Please, just tell me why," she whispered, her voice gentle and soft as her thumb began to rub gentle circles on your chin.

"I hate it when…"

You swallowed to try and make it easier for yourself to say what you wanted to say, but the swallowing only hurt and made your throat tighten up more.

"I hate it when you talk about your hookups."

Your gaze lowers onto your lap where your hands nervously fiddled with one another to soothe the tension in your body.

Billie's heart shattered at your words.

Of course. She should have known. Should have seen the signs.

Her grip on your chin tightened, slightly tilting your face back up so you were looking at her once more. Her eyes were wide as the realization hit her.

She was so dumb.

But she shouldn't have been surprised. All she could see now was the jealousy and sadness in your eyes, all because of the casual talks she had about her hookups with random girls.

Her eyes stayed fixed on your face. She could see how your body language showed tension from how you were fidgeting with your fingers in your lap.

Billie's thumb continued to gently rub your chin as she tried to get you to look at her again.

"Look at me," she firmly spoke, eyes darting all over your face.

"I..."

Billie's voice died in her throat. Her heart was now pounding as fast as yours was, and she was completely at a loss for words.

Everything suddenly made sense. The subtle looks of annoyance whenever she mentioned a hookup. The sad and exhausted look in your eyes. All the times she tried to coax an answer out of you but was met with "I'm not jealous."

Fresh tears began to pool in your eyes, slowly trickling down your cheeks. Billie's heart shattered once again.

Seeing you like that hurt. It hurt her more than she could even express. Her grip on your face softened, gently caressing your skin.

"No, no, no. Don't cry," she gently pleaded, bringing her other hand up to your face to try and wipe away your tears.

Billie's features now held a sorrowful look as she watched more tears glide down your red-tinted cheeks. She began to rub away at the tears on your face, trying her best to comfort you in any way she could.

"Please, don't cry," she repeated, her voice much softer this time. Her eyes continued to study your face, trying her best to decipher what you were thinking.

"I fucked up."

Your tone was regretful. You were regretful. You just threw away a friendship for the girl you loved the most and who cared for you the most, just because you caught feelings.

Now you were just annoyed with yourself as you cried. Aggressively tearing Billie's hands off your face and whipping the tears off your face so hard that it burned and was sure to leave red marks. It wasn't Billie's fault, but at the same time, it was.

Why did she have to be so perfect? So beautiful, caring, funny, and loving. Shit.

"Hey, hey," Billie quickly protested as you swatted her hands away from your face. Her expression hardened as she watched you roughly rub at your face.

Billie didn't know what to do. You had just roughly swatted at her hands, which was something you never did to her, and now you were practically rubbing at your face like you were trying to rid it.

She was stunned. Confused. Worried beyond measure. She had never seen you like this before.

"Y/N. Look at me," she firmly demanded.

Billie gently gripped your wrists in order to get you to stop rubbing at your face. Her grip was firm but gentle. She wasn't going to let you bruise or hurt yourself any further.

The concern was obvious in her voice as she spoke, eyes never leaving your own.

"Stop. Look at me. Now."

And so you did. Your face burned as your hands were pulled away from the aggressive actions. Your breathing was fast and uneven.

Panic and anxiety pooling throughout your mind and body. Your hands were shaking ever so slightly in Billie's hands out of worry.

You looked into Billie's eyes with a look of sorrow and fright.

You didn't want to lose her. You wanted her. You needed her.

Billie could feel your hands shaking in her grip, the subtle tremors telling her just how worried and scared you were.

Your facial expression broke her heart, seeing you look so frightened and saddened all because of her.

She couldn't stand seeing you like this anymore. Seeing you in such distraught all because of something she did. Even if she didn't realize it hurt you so much. She just wanted to soothe you and tell you it would be okay.

"Y/N," she softly spoke, gently rubbing her thumbs over your wrists.

And in that moment, Billie looked at you with so much worry and empathy. It was literally living proof that she had to have felt sort of the same way.

She was perfect for you.

Billie's all you ever needed.

It was quiet, the background noise of the TV was the only thing heard along with both of your breathing. You don't know why you did it, but you surged forward.

Your lips ended up on Billie's. They were soft and sweet. It felt like a warm embrace. And you needed more.

The sudden kiss caught her off guard as your lips landed on her own.

Billie swore her heart stopped.

For a few seconds, she couldn't bring herself to respond. But then, as she felt you press against her more, her body took over, acting on its own.

Billie's brain finally registered what was happening, the events finally setting in.

You were kissing her.

You were kissing her.

And she couldn't bring herself to pull away.

Billie's hands let go of your wrists in order to move to your waist, gently pulling you into her lap. She needed you even closer.

Billie slowly tilted her head more to the side in order to deepen the kiss, trying to get more of you. Your lips were so smooth and soft against her own, and the way you pressed up against her had her head feel fuzzy.

Her hand traveled to gently grip your chin in order to tilt your head down, a perfect angle for her to deepen the kiss even further.

Billie's heart was beating faster. It was going at a speed that was way too fast, her body was practically quivering with excitement in your presence.

She continued to meet your eager movements with her own, tongue slipping out to tease against the seam of your lips. Begging entrance.

A moan slipped past your lips into the kiss. Not out of lust. But out of satisfaction. And eagerness.

Your hands rested on her shoulders, gripping harshly and not wanting to let go. One hand travelling to the back of her head to scrunch her hair in between your fingers.

"I love you."

Your voice was whiny and desperate. You needed Billie to know.

Billie's breath hitched at the sound of the moan coming from you. The little noise alone sent a chill down her spine.

She couldn't stop the low whimper that escaped her own throat with your soft, yet rough, grip in her hair and on her shoulders. And when she felt the words of love come from your lips, her entire body shivered.

"Say it again," she murmured against your lips, her grip on your waist tightening somewhat as she pulled you closer to her.

"I love you."

Your body was hot, and your lips were eagerly molding into Billie's. Your hand on her tightened as the words left your lips.

Tongue tracing along her bottom lip, waiting to be let into where you both needed each other most.

The sound of you repeating those three words again had her entire body going weak. It was all she wanted to hear from you. The one thing she was too scared to ask for.

But you were right here. In her lap. Begging her with your tongue.

Billie quickly granted your mouth access, granting your tongue with entrance between her lips. Her own tongue quickly tangled with yours, relishing the sweetness and heat of your mouth.

Billie's hands moved from your waist, her hands roaming over your body eagerly. She needed to touch you. She needed to feel every inch of you. To feel the heat of your body and the sound of every sweet moan coming from your lips.

Her brain was hazy and fuzzy. All she could focus on was how you felt against her. How you tasted and sounded and felt.

Her hands continued to grip you tightly, not wanting to let you go. Her heart was pounding, and her mind was going fuzzy as she continued to kiss you. It was like nothing she had ever felt before.

She had never wanted a kiss so badly. Never craved someone's touch so much. You were the sweetest, hottest, best thing she's ever had.

Billie pulled back, her eyes taking in your appearance for a few quick moments. Then, without warning, she began to kiss at your jaw and neck.

A scratchy moan slipped past your lips as you separated from her lips. Her lips are wet and harsh on your skin. It's exactly all you've ever wanted. Needed.

Billie continued to kiss at your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin, desperate to hear more sounds from you. She needed to know how much you wanted her as much as she wanted you.

Her hands gripped your hips tight, holding you in place so you wouldn't pull away from her.

"Are you mine? Please. Tell me." she quietly whispered against your skin, the neediness in her voice hard to hide. It came out in a moan. She was hot and desperate. You had no choice but to whine in response.

"Yes."

You'd never sounded more desperate and eager to please her. You wanted her to know that you were hers. You wanted her to know that you were hers to please.

To destroy.

To love.

The simple yet firm word coming from your lips satisfied her more than anything. Hearing you agree that you were hers had butterflies in her stomach.

"You're mine," she continued to murmur against your skin, leaving open-mouthed kisses behind as she went.

She wanted to mark you, leave behind proof that you belonged to her. "All mine, all mine," she repeated again, her voice becoming possessive.

Her mouth continued its assault on your neck and jawline. She left love bites of different sizes, covering most of the skin she could reach. She wanted you to wake up the next day and notice the marks with pride. She wanted you to see just how much you were loved, and she wanted others to see just how taken you were.

Billie's teeth gently grazed over your sweet spot, her tongue darting out to tease the sensitive skin.

Your mind was hazy and hot with all the attention. Your core throbbed from the attention. The cloth that covered your core grew damp and uncomfortably sticky with Billie's doings.

Billie's mouth continued to kiss and suck at your neck, her tongue licking and teasing the sensitive skin. The little gasps and moans she was drawing out of you were driving her crazy.

She could feel the heat coming from you, and it was driving her mad. The thought of you wanting and needing her as bad as she wanted and needed you had her heart racing.

Billie leaned back from your neck to get a look at your face. Her eyes landed on you, drinking in your flushed expression.

Both of your breathing was heavy as you both locked eyes. Lust, love, and eagerness lacing through the two of y'all's eyes.

As Billie took in your expression, she swore that her heart skipped a beat. All she saw in your eyes was raw, pure lust and love.

She couldn't tear her gaze from your own, and the heavy breaths that came from the both of you only added to the feeling of tension.

Billie's hands began to glide up and down your sides, needing to touch more of you. Her fingers gently pressed into your rib cage, as if she didn't want to let you go.

She wanted you closer, more. She needed to be connected with you. To see how you felt.

"I need you," she breathed, her eyes never leaving yours. "I need you, all of you."

"Have me."

Please.

"Take me."

Yes. It came out of your mouth just as you wanted it to.

Needy. Hot. Truthfully.

It was like a cry and plea for Billie to please you and reassure you that all the two of you needed were each other.

"I will, I will," she breathlessly repeated as she looked at you. Her fingers tightened around your waist, gripping the flesh as the need in her voice took over.

She was desperate. So, so, desperate for you.

Without warning, Billie swiftly picked you up in her arms and turned you around, now with you on your back and her hovering above.

Billie's knee was now between your legs and pushing up. Her body now pressed completely against yours, their chests only separated by a thin layer of fabric.

She was close. So close. And all she wanted to do was feel you. Every inch. Every part. All of you was for her to have. And no one else's.

Billie leaned down, the tip of her nose gently grazing along the skin of your neck once again.

As she teased her way across your skin, your hands trailed between the two of you, and you started unbuttoning Billie's pants. Your nails scrape softly against the skin just below her belly button.

Your knuckles being met with her soft, warm skin.

A small gasp escaped her lips at your cold fingers and nails gently scraping over her belly. Her skin instantly prickled with a set of goosebumps at the feeling. It made her shiver.

But she didn't protest your actions.

Billie wanted this just as much as you did.

She continued to gently nibble and kiss at your neck as she felt her pants being unbuttoned, letting you do as you wanted.

While you were hers.

She was also yours.

Her body leaned forward more, her knee now pushing directly between your legs. The slight pleasure now shooting up through your core.

Billie was going crazy, and all you did was undo her pants. She needed you.

Billie slowly started traveling her kisses down the side of your neck, her tongue slowly tracing your collar bone before she continued her descent.

Billie's pants were now unbuttoned but that's all your hands could manage to do. You laid there panting as she kissed her way down your body.

You felt Billie's hands come into contact with the hem of your shorts, slowly pulling them down. Her cold rings splaying on your warm skin.

Her hands pulled down the hem of your shorts, revealing more of the pale skin of your legs. Her calloused hands gently gripping the skin of your thighs as she continued to kiss further down your chest and stomach.

Slowly, she pulled your shorts the rest of the way down, leaving you only in your underwear. Billie sat up for a moment, taking in the sight of your body.

Your skin so smooth, and your form so perfect. She was in love.

Billie's hands gently massaged along the inside of your thighs, her fingers tracing over the skin softly.

She then glanced up at your face, a smirk now on her lips. "God, you're so beautiful like this," she whispered, her hands trailing their way further up the inside of your thighs.

You looked at Billie with so much love and lust. You loved the way her eyes scanned your body. The way she adored everything she saw.

Billie continued to look at you, never glancing away. "So pretty Y/N." she said.

Her fingers reached the hem of your underwear and started to gently pull the material down.

"All mine," she then repeated under her breath, as if it was more of a reminder to herself.

With one hand on your hip and the other on your thigh, she leaned down and began tracing open-mouthed kisses along the inside of your thighs.

Billie wanted to feel and taste every inch of you. She wanted to know how sweet you were.

And she was going to find out.

As she lowered her head between your thighs, you held her head gently. Looking down at her with so much love. So much adoration.

The kisses continued to travel up your thigh, making their way closer and closer to where you wanted her most.

Billie's free hand continued to gently massage your thigh, her fingers tracing little patterns into the skin while she took her time getting closer.

"I love you," she muttered against your leg, the words coming out rough and desperate.

"Billie," You whined softly, looking down at her. Wanting and needing her mouth on your core.

Your whimpers sent a shiver up her spine. She loved the way you said her name. The way it came out as though it was the only word you could speak.

Billie wanted to draw more of those sounds out of you, and it seemed she was getting exactly what she wanted.

Her kisses only continued to travel higher, getting closer and closer.

"Be patient," she said, her voice low and soft against your skin.

And soon, finally, her mouth was where you wanted it the most.

Her tongue gently licked your core, tracing around the sensitive skin. Her free hand gently slid over your thigh, her fingers digging into the flesh.

Billie was going crazy. You tasted so sweet. Better than how she could have imagined. She loved the way you squirmed and gasped and gasped her name.

Her tongue continued to lick and explore, finding all the places that made you gasp the loudest.

She needed to hear more. Needed to feel more of you on her mouth.

Between the sweetness and the heat, she was losing herself. Everything was getting blurry. All she could focus on was you.

You couldn't help but let a cry out at the pleasure. Her wet mouth sucked and swirled on your throbbing core.

The sounds of her wet, lewd actions filled the room along with your moans.

She separated from your core for a split second and looked up at you with her beautiful blue eyes you fell in love with.

"I love you."

'I love you too."

‧₊˚✩彡

fer yaps!!!

yay!

[lxndrlvr]

‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ . ₊๋˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋

Can't sleep?

Note: insomnia, mentions of medication, fluff, established relationship, cuddling, working late.

Pairings: Alexandra Cabot × reader

🌊*ੈ✩‧₊˚

It's the typical sunday evening, you're busy typing in your laptop to go over your lessons over and over again, making sure you didn't miss anything. As a professor, you were quite used to staying up late to finish everything. It was a great excuse, really. You can always finish your work during the day, but still chose to do it during night time as an excuse to stay up, especially when you're over at your girlfriend's apartment. It took some time for you to adjust, as you weren't really a night owl. It all started when you caught alex outside your shared bedroom, sitting on the couch watching your favorite show. She was just staring blankly, which worried you. She didn't even realize your lingering gaze behind her, it was only when you wrapped your arms around her waist did she snap out of her trance and slightly jumped from the sudden contact. Immediately deflating in your arms once she realized it was only you, her exhaustion evident in her eyes. She closed her eyes when your lips touched her forehead, then to her cheek, down to her neck. Smothering her with kisses, which made her let out a soft sigh, cherishing this moment.

“Would you mind telling me why you're still up?” you spoke in a gentle tone, one that alex has grown used to. Ones that she craved during her vulnerable moments, your gentleness. A contrast to the harsh events happening in her life, constantly haunting her for as long as she can remember.

Of course you knew something was wrong, alex was more quiet than usual. You also noticed her being tense earlier this morning before leaving for work, her hands behind her neck. A habit of hers whenever she's troubled, poor baby.

“I can't sleep” she quietly replied, her eyes looked glassy. It was the first time you saw her in her vulnerable state, and your first instinct was to wrap her in a warm embrace.

“Something bothering you, hmm?” you took off her glasses, then tied her hair up in a messy bun. Taking advantage of her current relaxed demeanor, you pressed another kiss to her cheeks. Glancing at the table, you noticed some pills scattered from an open bottle. Melatonin.

Alex glanced at where you were looking, and letting out a long exhausted sigh, curling into a small ball inside your arms. How couldn't you have noticed? You blamed yourself for being so blind, it doesn't take a genius to know that those pills are her medication for insomnia. Alex was suffering from insomnia, despite having learned medicine from your mother, you didn't notice Alex's situation and how bad it has gotten. That even until now, you still felt guilty that there's only so much you could do in your power to make her feel better. Long story short, everytime you visited alex, you always made sure to stay up with her.

At first, even when you forced yourself to stay up, you always end up falling asleep in her arms. It was the other way round, alex couldn't help but find your efforts adorable that even when she disliked the idea of you going to an extent of staying up, even though you loved to sleep, it was nice to know that you cared enough to make efforts for her. No matter how many times she refused, you were persistent.

Your visits happened more often, especially when you knew Alex just got back from the court. You always brought groceries, and she always cooks for you. It's been months of continuing this routine, nothing changed much except for the fact that alex doesn't feel alone anymore. Sure, she was still insomniac but having you by her side eased her up. You had always expressed how grateful you were that alex is your girlfriend, unbeknownst to you, you were the best thing that happened to her. She didn't know what she did to deserve you, nor did she know what you see in her.

Back to present, as you were typing in your laptop, you felt the bed sink a little. You turned your head to face your girlfriend, smiling softly, noticing her drowsy state. She was wearing the silly fuzzy matching pajama that you bought for you and her, at first she called it silly, but now it's one of her favorite things to wear to sleep.

“Are you done with your tea?” you asked, absentmindedly pulling her in your arms. You closed your laptop, putting it on top of the bedside table.

“Yes” she paused, then continued. “Are you done with your work?”

“Mhmm.” you chuckled, what alex didn't realize was that her words were starting to become incoherent the more she spoke. Her drowsiness making it hard for her to realize her current state.

“Can we sleep now?” alex hummed, pulling away from your grasp as she watched as you frowned from the sudden change of heart. Alex shook her head, smiling at your antics as she pulled you back in for a hug, this time, she was the big spoon.

“Please.” that was the last thing you said as you both drifted off to sleep, the warm blanket wrapped around your warm bodies, glued together. A perfect way to end the day.

[onmyyan]

Your writing brings joy to my shriveled brain. How do you think it would go if Steven from Moonnight had a female roommate who desperately tried to ignore the weird shit. Acting like nothing was out of the ordinary bc the apartment is in the perfect spot and the rent is really reasonable. Steven and Mark grow increasingly alarmed and intrigued respectively at their cute but definitely deranged roomate ignoring all the bat shit crazy with an iron force of will. The more they pay attention the more they realize they like having her around.

A/N: My shriveled heart enjoys writing for y’all 😫🤚🏼 also this my first moonknight request I’m so excited It’s not even funny. This took me actual ages to post bec I kept rewriting it, Marc and Steven are wonderful and I'm sorry if their ooc and for how long it took me to post, hope you enjoy! NOT EDITED

TW'S: Yandere

The first thing you noticed about Steven Grant was his inexplicable ability to keep to himself. Like really to himself. The small space you two occupied never felt crowded despite sharing everything but a bed. His room was sort of the living room, and at the very beginning you two set the rule that you’d each keep to your own, a fair rule considering you got the bedroom, the cheap rent and non-creepy roommate was worth all the odd stuff you noticed. Like how he taped up the front door at night. You chalked it up to paranoia. The ring of sand he diligently poured around his bed? Your aunt had a sleepwalking problem, could happen to anyone. The kinky ankle chain he kept on the post by his bed? What he got up to when you were out of the apartment was his business, and you minded your own well, as long as you weren’t in danger, he could be as weird as he wanted.

Steven was worried initially. His mind ran ragged with scenario after scenario of you finding out about Marc, the two of them had only just begun to peacefully coexist. Marc had no problems with you as long as you had your rent and didn’t ask too many questions, plus you sometimes wore these little shorts to bed and he'd never complain about the view.

There were just some things you can't hide, like the fact that the apartment felt haunted whenever Steven was home, the cold chills and way he was constantly looking up in some random corner were a little harder to ignore, you told yourself you'd say something if you got possessed, other than that it was blissfully ignored.

Marc had never officially met you but he had been watching. He was a naturally alert person so it wasn't concerning- what worried him was just how often you wiggled your way into his thoughts as of late. He was far too grown for something like a crush, far to burdened with his destiny for something like romance, that's absolutely not why he took over to watch you for a while, nothing malicious, just observe you how steven gets to, you two only ever crossed paths in the morning and as you were heading to bed. You didn't bat a eye, offering him a sleepy wave and a yawn as you made your coffee.

He found himself smiling at the silent, practiced way you worked around the kitchen, something about the scene was domestic, "Wan' some?" You asked rather cutely, a yawn breaking through at the end, warmth pooled in his chest at the simple action and before he could stop himself he was nodding.

Your pretty (e/c) eyes widened for a moment before that friendly grin came back. "You never take me up on that- I was startin' to think British people couldn't drink coffee." The graceful ease in which you moved had his eyes soaking up every inch of you, your little joke had pulled him out of whatever weird trance he'd fallen under. "Cream and sugar?" He shook his head no, and when your fingers brushed his as you handed off the warm mug, it felt like he'd been electrified.

"You're usually at the museum by now- sorry that sounded creepy I meant- it's nice seeing you that's all." Your very apparent flustered state pulled a smirk to his lips. You were too cute. But the question did yank him out of the sweet bubble he'd found himself in once you started talking.

You thought he was Steven- of course, why wouldn't you? He knew this and yet, that familiar pang of disappointment lingered, so hard in fact he'd fallen into himself and let Steven have the wheel once more. The Brit was proper confused when he came to with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands.

He nearly dropped it when he finally noticed you standing before him, your bedhead made you look like some sort of sleepy Angel, he quickly took a sip of the liquid, failed to hide his grimace and thanked you for it before rushing out with the guise of being late to work. Truthfully his shift didn't start for an hour and a half, he just liked giving you your space.

He found out rather early the longer he spent in your presence the more likely he was to make a fool of himself. You were charming and witty and god you looked like someone who should be waited on hand and foot- not that that's something he's thought in detail about or anything don't be silly-

"I think I should introduce myself." He heard Marks voice ring out while he reorganized the plushies by the register. "Absolutely not." He said almost offended at the mere suggestion, his pulse began to skyrocket, "Are you mad? She just started being comfortable-" he laughed humorlessly, "That be a fine way to send her running for the bloody hills." He set the last plush down with more force than necessary, the idea of you not being in his life anymore shot a spike of panic through him.

"You're not giving her enough credit, somethin' about that one- this feels like the right move buddy." Steven glanced at Mark's reflection in one of the display cases. He pointedly moved to the other side of the store, his face twisting into a pout. "She's noticed all the weird shit we do- she's still there." He heard him try to reason, catching his grin in the glass. "You can't hide from me, I know you're just as interested in our sweet roommate as I am."

[imogenkol]

piggy backing a little bit off of this brilliantly heart-wrenching post by @e-the-village-cryptid I wanted to dip my toe into the whole Bix x Timm dynamic - why Bix chose him and why it reads heavily as compulsory heterosexuality to me.

Bix has so many plates spinning - between managing her own salyard and organizing a black market operation selling ship parts to the rebellion (which could get her incarcerated for life at best and executed at worst), she is constantly keeping herself occupied so that she doesn't have to engage with her own thoughts. But she still has to go home at the end of the day, and if personal experience has taught me anything, it's that no matter how worn out you are, whatever you're trying not to think about will always haunt you during the night.

I feel like Bix dreads when the anvil rings at the end of the day because she has to go back to an empty home, with nothing but herself and her own thoughts. She probably still works on a few projects by herself there, but that can only hold her focus for so long.

After her on-and-off failed relationship with Cassian that lasted for years, Bix doesn't strike me as the kind of person who even wants to pursue a relationship with anyone at all. That takes time she doesn't have or want to waste and requires her to be open and vulnerable, which is counter-productive to her daily goals. However, there is still a gap that really needs to be filled by something.

Enter Timm Karlo, who Bix has employed at her salyard for an undisclosed, but probably decent amount of time. He is reliable at work and her right hand man in the business. Timm picks up the slack that Bix is physically incapable of doing herself because her workload is already massive. So there's a level of appreciation for him already there and he is, of course, already there. Bix didn't have to go looking for him, she didn't have to put much effort to court or be courted. Timm most likely had feelings for her for a while before she finally decided to reciprocate.

Timm Karlo is perfectly convenient and ordinary.

I'm not saying Bix intentionally heartlessly used him per se, I do believe she had some genuine affection for him, but it is very telling that even when they are officially a couple, she still keeps him at arms length and sometimes even further.

It seemed that they had a very specific set of rules set by Bix. Dinner one night a week. Not twice a week. No spontaneous dates (unless she decides to visit him outside of the set agreement on her own terms). One night a week.

Of course that could be explained by Bix's ridiculously loaded schedule, but it feels like she views the relationship less like a relationship and more like another quota to be filled. Bix shows very little genuine interest in Timm outside of that. She is easily irritated by him and hasn't really told him much about herself other than what everyone already knows (this is honestly the best explanation I can think of as to why she told him Cassian was from Kenari. It's easier to talk about people you know than yourself). The one time they do spend the night together on screen is after Bix has had some drinks at Cavo's and got too deep in her own head about everything happening. Timm was fulfilling his main purpose in that scene - to be a distraction.

The biggest thing for me is that she does not tell him about her secret operation. Bix doesn't trust him, at least not fully, despite the line "He'd do anything for me." If she really believed that, I feel like she would have told him what she was doing, being the reliable hard worker he is. Maybe a part of her knew he couldn't keep his mouth shut, maybe she wanted to protect him, maybe she was greedy and didn't want to have to give him a cut. Could be all of the above.

No matter how you slice it, I truly don't believe Bix held deep feelings - or really any genuine attraction - towards Timm. I think that's what makes his death even more traumatic for her, in all honesty. She feels responsible even though he was an insecure, jealous man that went behind her back and betrayed what little trust she had in him. Which made her feel foolish because she never gave him much thought at all and that's how she overlooked the obvious signs.

In conclusion, Bix should date girls.

[cherry-queens-blog]

Here's part 2 for you guys.

Warning: violence, blood, cussing

CHAPTER 2 CONFESSIONS & HURT

Gyutaro questions you. Are you really telling him what to do?. He listens anyways not taking his eyes off you. You feel like he staring into your soul and it really does scare you, his gaze being so unfriendly and haunting, it sends chills and fear through your body. Just take it slow and don't be stupid you say in your head trying to keep yourself as calm as you possibly can. You take a seat across from him, his gaze never leaving you, watching your every movement. Daki watches from a slight distance where she can't be noticed. She cares a lot about her brother but her main focus is on you at the moment, wanting to be on top of everything you're up to.

"So uhh... What's your name? "

You ask him as you pick up your chopsticks and take a bite of your food.

"Gyutaro"

He responds picking up the cup. The smell of blood filling his nose.

"I like it"

You say as you set your chop sticks down.

"I don't know.. But ever since I saw you I couldn't help but constantly think of how you look. Probably cause... "

You stop when you notice he's staring at you, listening to every word that spilled out of your pretty little mouth.

"Cause what? "

He snarks at you setting down the empty cup after drinking all the blood that was inside.

"Cause your different"

Gyutaro becomes more upset and you realized those words that flew out probably weren't the best choice for you to say as his expression went from sad looking turned to anger.

"Gyutaro I didn't mean it in a bad way I swear, I'm just saying your diff..."

Before you could finish your sentence you now find yourself not able to really breath, his tight grasp around your throat as he gets directly in your face, so close that both of your noses now touching each other. It just happened so fast, your heart felt like it dropped in your stomach, did you say something wrong? You didn't mean to offend him, maybe you worded it terribly? Maybe he just misunderstood what you were trying to say?. Your nerves were just on edge you didn't think it through clearly.

"You're just like all the rest you know"

He says. Daki watches feeling more upset with you now that you had upset her brother but she stays where she's at since he can deal with you easily and for good. His poison will kill you painfully and slowly which it's exactly what you deserve. Gyutaro watches as tears form in your eyes as you try to get him to let go.

"I will kill you surely, you are just a waste of time... I only did this for my sister"

He says as he brings out one of his sickles. You shake your head no as your heart races and fear takes a full on hold of you. He begins to laugh as you struggle to get free from his grasp.

"I really didn't want to dislike you, yet all you humans are just nothing but little helpless rats"

He states with a low giggle leaving his throat after his sentence. You shake your head no once again while digging your nails into his hand and arm, clawing at him but he would not budge. He squeezes a bit harder then throws you into a wall. You cough and gasp for air when suddenly you get kicked in the stomach. You hold your stomach as tears spill from your eyes.

"Gyutaro... *Cough*... Please... I didn't mean it like that. I... I LOVE HOW YOU LOOK DAMN IT.. I WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU, YOU'RE NOT LIKE THESE OTHER MEN. I FELT LIKE I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHEN I SAW YOU"

You scream at him trying to get the words out as fast as you could. He stops, now just staring down at you in disbelief not understanding what he is hearing right now. Are you really like the others? Did you really mean what you just said to him?

"Gyutaro please... Just one chance, I just worded it poorly... I... I was nervous, I'll do anything and everything for you that you demand, I'll be good for you and only you, please just one chance gyutaro"

You tell him as you cry. Your throat, stomach, and side hurt so bad. Gyutaro didn't know if he wanted to just laugh at you or what since he was stunned at what he just heard from your mouth.

"Why would I set all this up just to be mean? "

You ask. The question just echoed in his head as he stands there. You begin to try and get up but it hurt to. you stay on the ground for a moment longer as the demons gaze stared into you, questioning you in his mind. The silence was soon broken when he finally speaks.

"Are you really? What could you possibly find so interesting about me? You pathetic, weak, good for nothing"

He spits at you not understanding what the hell is going on. You look up at him with tears still falling from your face, his words hurt but so did your weak body after what he physically did to you but, you didn't want to give up on this, even after what he said and did to you.

"Gyutaro please.... Don't say such things"

You slowly start to get up again as the pain increases but you do your best to ignore it. You begin to take slow easy steps towards him but once you got close you to him you closed your eyes as you fall but, you didn't hit the ground. You open your teary eyes and look up to see he had caught you. He didn't know why he did it but he did. You put your arms around his neck and hold onto him, paying your head on his shoulder. Your tears fell crashing onto his skin, he just watches you do this. The feeling of each tear felt like small drips of rain crashing down onto his pale rough skin. They were warm, filled with pain and torment. He liked it but still felt unsure of this whole situation he is in right now. He really didn't want to like you, he could still feel himself craving to attack you more but couldn't. Why couldn't he? You are right there in bitting range, In his arms where he could squeeze you to death, right there where he could split open your back with his sickle and listen to you scream like it's a lullaby that could fill him with pleasure but, why couldn't he just do it? Why is he holding back so much now? Did he actually grow feelings for you? How will daki take this? So many questions that drown him, Blistering his mind, twisting it like a rag being ringed out after being held under water. His mind was clustered, all he could do was just hold you close to him dropping his sickle onto the wooden floor. Carefully he picks you up and sits on the hard floor setting you in lap and holding you close to his chest not letting go of you thinking of everything that happened again and again.

Daki watches in pure shock clenching her fists tightly. What the hell just happened? One moment he's trying to kill you now all of a sudden he's holding you?. Jealousy fills her and she leaves as morning starts to approach and you are now asleep in his arms. Gyutaro lays you down before he leaves to go back to daki.

[akirakirxaa]

Playing with the other's hair as they rest their head in your lap. For Akira x Haurchefant.

[Thank you so much for the ask @winternightjewels, I'm so sorry this took so long. <3 Set in the gap in time between 5.3 and 5.4, Haurch Lives AU.]

Akira had never felt so tired, even in the aftermath of some of her toughest battles. Which was absolutely ridiculous, because all she'd done today was lay about in the sitting room and doze off attempting to read books. The coffee table before the fire was littered with little plates covered in crumbs from her endless snacking through their pantry. She stretched amongst her nest of pillows and blankets, leaning into the hand running through her hair with a small sigh.

"Just keep doing that," she murmured, and Haurchefant gave a chuckle as he carefully separated a piece of her hair and started strands around themselves. "When did you learn to braid hair?"

"I'll admit, I have been practicing," her husband plucked a hair tie from the table, securing it in place. "I hope you don't think less of me for having a preference, but I am hoping we have a girl." Akira's face fell as she averted her gaze to the nearby fireplace. He smoothed her hair back, frown forming.

"What is it? I'll be happy no matter what it is," he tried to assure her. She shook her head.

"No, it's not that, it's just..." Akira's mind cast over her hyper accelerated pregnancy over the last few months, hardly returned from the First when her body began rebelling against her. "I've hardly had a chance to get used to the idea. What if something happens and they need me?" This was no new conversation; it took every Scion, Haurchefant, and many more friends insisting on her rest for her to set aside her greatsword until her baby was born.

Her baby... Not something they had planned, and while at least they had been married before it happened, it still felt like they'd somehow done something wrong. What kind of life would a child of hers even have, with their mother constantly called away for the defense of the star?

"There are plenty with strength enough to at least hold any threats at bay until you're fighting fit again," he soothed, hand brushing back over her hair.

"And if something happens to me while I'm out fighting? What then?"

"I refuse to entertain such an idea," his voice was utterly confident as he carefully adjusted her to be cradled against his chest, head tucked under his chin. "But plenty of parents have to leave their children for a time to keep them safe. They wouldn't be alone, and you would return. I have the utmost faith." She bit her lip, hands clenching in his shirt.

"I... It's silly considering, well, everything. But..." Akira couldn't voice it. To admit she was afraid of the inevitable end of the pregnancy would be calling on the worst things that could happen to haunt her.

"It's not silly," his voice was soft, rubbing one hand up and down her arm. "You're not the first and you won't be the last to worry. Now, can I get you anything? Chocolate? Tea? Some strange foodstuff I need to teleport to the Steppe for?"

"What did I do to deserve you?" she smiled, eyes closed. "Honestly, I could go for some hot chocolate."

"Your wish is my command," Haurchefant said affectionately, settling her back on the sofa and pressing a kiss to her forehead before heading to the kitchen.

By the time he returned, she was sleeping peacefully, and he didn't have the heart to wake her.

[sophsun1]

No other episode is guaranteed to make me ugly sob within seconds than brian's father's death. god, i relate to it and brian so fucking much and gale's performance throughout and at the end always, always breaks me in half. The thing that pisses me off is people's reactions to children of abusive parents. You see it in the episode and in life in general wherein you're almost guaranteed to hear a version of "I'm sure they loved you in their own way/they didn't know how to show it/they had a bad childhood themselves/how the child should be the bigger person and forgive them/the classic, but! they! were! still! your! mother/father!"

As if just because you were born through no choice of your own that you end up owing them, you have to constantly forgive and forget, having to be the parental figure over and over and it fucking sucks.

What I appreciate about this episode is the writers actually show the two sides to the reality of being that child. It feels so human and relatable and I'm not just watching another episode of my favourite show, but I can look at it and say fuck, that's me I have felt that. On the one hand, you have people like Michael and Justin who comment regardless of what Brian's father did and how he treated him he was still his dad and it trumped any feelings of hurt Brian had over it. The simple "blood is thicker than water" ideology that as his father it gave him the power to be respected and Brian should wave away any wrong he did. How quickly people want to brush off any feelings of ill will when a person dies, how they become immortalised as someone who never did a thing wrong. How quick they forget.

We see versions of this in relation to Brian in the show and I hate it. For example when Brian first finds out that his father is sick and Debbie encourages him to tell him he's gay, more or less putting the burden on Brian and insinuating he owed his dad this part of himself (what the fuck!) and what happens? His father says he wishes Brian was the one who was dying. When his mother finds out he's gay and he's putting on a front at Woody's telling the guys how she was horrified by it and him but he doesn't care, fuck her. Michael pipes up saying that maybe she will come around in time, as if anytime Brian expressed hurt and anger towards his abusers they could never just accept it and let him have those feelings it always had to be countered in some way. I guess some part of it is when you come from a loving home either as the child or parent it's very difficult to understand the inner workings of the life of abusive parents and the impact on their kids. Not forgetting Debbie taking it upon herself to tell Joan that Brian had cancer!!!

I love that they didn't shy away from the other side, the side that's not deemed as maybe socially correct and you should keep that stuff behind closed doors. But I completely sympathise, agree and relate to Brian's behaviour how he refused to bow down to everyone's expectations of how he should grieve because they felt he wasn't doing it the right way. Michael deducing that just because Claire was sobbing like a demented banshee that meant she was obviously feeling it so much worse than Brian who hadn't shed a tear. In reality Brian told him that his father hated her. Yet Brian who was openly abused by them, always tried hard to be respectful and show care for them both in spite of what they did, which again is so relatable as a child of that.

I cheered him getting to tell the story of how his dad wanted him aborted, how he continued to go to Babylon and fuck around, that was his grieving process it might not have been what Michael thought was right and proper but it was his way.

The poignancy of him getting a do over of the joy of hitting a strike with Michael as kids, now as an adult and giving zero fucks and getting the celebration he was robbed of! The haunting finale with the bowling ball down the alley, the sombre so long Jack, and then finally on his terms releasing some of the burden, letting the tears flow.

Special mention to my two favourite lines of dialogue in the episode - "If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead" and "Can you imagine growing up in that house, how did he ever survive? Who's to say he did?"

[reservoirreputation]

My Mom and I watched the FNaF movie last night. It was after game 1 of the world series, so I didn't want her to push through if she was very tired, but she was good, and guys-

-I loved the movie.

Like in a 'this is so charming and darkly twisted' kind of way.

That one article, saying that the movie was heavy on plot and light on scares, acting like that was a bad thing? Is just one of many review sites that doesn't get you're not the target audience.

A plot-heavy movie is exactly (I think) what FNaF fans were largely looking forward to, and it delivered! And, practical effects, my beloved! I think there was only one instance of CGI, and that was any shots that had to deal with electricity. Otherwise? It's a PG-13 gateway horror film for mostly kids that treats the devoted fanbase well, and is even gorier in some places than the games ever were. Like, I don't recall there being any blood AT ALL in the games, and the use of it in the movie was still sparing, but effective!

Also, spoiler(s)

Afton giving Vanessa the hand-me-down toy airplane is an incredibly underrated and twisted moment in the film. Like, think about that; how many of her other childhood toys, clothes, and so on come from the kids her father had murdered? That's a great expansion on what a sick bastard Afton is, and it's a quick moment, too.

The blanket fort scene was so precious and sweet, and taps into the unexpected friendship dynamic that Security Breach gave us, and a great moment of humanity for the dead kids, who could easily just be seen as villains, but moments like this help combat that.

Genuine question: is 'The bite of 2000?!?' a meme yet, because it should be. Both my Mom and I were delighted by how unexpectedly brutal that was, because I was anticipating the hand jump-scare from the commercials, which I think was great marketing; the viewer keeps an eye out for this moment, almost brushes it off, only to be caught off guard by Max getting CHOMPED. Another favorite moment was one of the thieves SCREAMING as he ran through the restaurant, because that's just so good.

Some 'theatre of the mind' scares going on in this movie, and I really think it's gonna burn itself into the minds of kids for years to come, like, who's moving all of these bodies? What happened to Max's top-half before it got moved? What do those corpses stuffed in animatronics look like after 20 years? And, most importantly, what happened to the aunt?!?!?! Like, I wanted to see her death scene because she's an awful character (affectionate) but like, it's really a great choice. 'What happened to my aunt?' 'Don't worry, she's just sleeping.' *only shows us the bottom-half of her body* Like, did she also get chomped?? That's gonna haunt some kid's nightmares, and I love it.

During the diner scene, I was so distracted with the aunt continuing to be The Worst, and bringing her cohorts to a restaurant, only to not buy breakfast, as she's burning money to keep her lawyer with her constantly, only to realize, 'HOLY SHIT THAT'S MATPAT' The way my Mom and I BURST out laughing, ohmygod. Also, that actor who played the lawyer? Does some of the most with the least amount of screen-time to further get across how awful the aunt is. That thousand-yard stare, he's seen some things.

Extra sadness to an already sad movie: do you think Mike's parents, in grieving for Garrett, had Abby as the 'fix-it' kid? Fill the void with another child? Because I think it would further explain how messed up their family is.

When Mike's introduced to us, and he starts doing pushups, I instantly got flashbacks to Pollyanna's character in 'Let Us Prey'. And when he just starts going to town, punching that dad's face? I knew, in that moment, our boy would go the distance against these haunted animatronics. He got the ever-loving SHIT kicked out of him by Afton and was STILL going.

Another great, underrated creepy moment is when Mike tries talking to the kids in his dream, and the one in the foreground stares at him, the others behind him are blurred out. It's such a nice, off-putting touch.

There was something really nice about Mike cleaning the place up after the thieves trashed it. That time and effort to tidy up a place most people would never see again is just really touching, and I think is one of the reasons why he survives for so long in the movie, despite napping on the job. Before Abby ever enters the picture, he doesn't disturb anything, break stuff, nothing. Really, he's the caretaker of a graveyard and he just doesn't know it, yet, so it feels like someone tidying up the lawn, cleaning up the gravestones.

Those are some of my thoughts on the movie, about a day later. I really hope they get to make a second film, because we need more quality gateway horror, and there's certainly a LOT of plot-points and characters the movie hasn't even TOUCHED on, yet.

[gravemations]

The Northwood Documents: Cold Reports chapter 3 PT2

You haven't done one of these in years but this is the best time to do it when you're having weird dreams, even if they are dreams. 

You decided to get up and get your uniform on as you make breakfast, bacon and eggs is always a good option. 

As you clean up your plate and grab your keys and get into your car to get to the local police office, the building from the outside looks old with a red brick exterior and wood banisters but walking inside it was surprisingly modern.  

You walk up to the desk and gain the attention of the person there, they were an officer as well. They were an older man probably late 40s early 50s definitely balding but hiding it under his hat.      

The man looks up from the computer as he spots you walking in. 

”You must be Officer Olivia Hills from the Portland Department, I am Officer Stanton. Glad you could make it safely.” Stanton said with his gruff but friendly voice. 

Olivia stood there for a second before responding to the man still thinking of what happened last night. 

”Oh yes, that would be me.” Hills responded, reaching out a hand to the man behind the desk. 

 The man took her hand and gave her a warm handshake, as he caught his breath. 

”Sorry things have been very ruff lately, that is why you're here.” The man exclaimed to Olivia. 

”You see things here in Northwood have not been going well for years now, numbers of cold cases that go nowhere, violent deaths and a killer we haven't been able to catch. You see you're here cause one of our own was found dead 2 weeks ago and we need some extra help with the investigation and you had a good record with the portland department.” The man suddenly looks at his hands as he holds a photo of the deceased officer.

Olivia stands still as the man explains the woes of this small town as she takes mental notes on this on everything that Stanton said. 

”I'll help out as much as I can around here and I hope to be able to find this killer that has been haunting this town!” Olivia exclaimed with a furious passion. 

The older man laughed with joy at the determination that Olivia had for a town she had only lived in for a day. 

” It's good to have a new Officer onboard to bring back inspiration to this old police station.Any way your office is down the hall to the left 3 doors down”  Stanton had pointed down the right hall. 

Olivia smiled and thanked Stanton for the talk, She entered her new office. She could tell that the old office belonged to the past Officer due to flowers still being on the desk with a photo of the man. Could not have been much older then she was. 

 She decided to move the monument to a side desk in the corner and set up all of her notes and stationary as she turns on the computer and decides to look up if there were any files on this Jayden Maverick. 

After looking through a number of files she had found Jayden records, she spent a good hour looking at it. Sadly the information found was not actually a lot which was disappointing. Most of it had been corrupted over time and a lot of the information on the file was conflicting about them. Almost like the universe itself didn't want her to know about them. 

From family to even their gender and occupation, it was either unreadable or just contradicting itself constantly, but sadly there was one thing about them that wasn't corrupted. A death report, their body was discovered at the nature reserve and they were pronounced dead at the scene back in 1997 on October 31 at 3:00 AM found by a Parkranger after hearing distant screaming and finding their body heavily scarred and their forearms removed. Clear evidence of a murder but the case ran cold and has been sitting here with other similar cases.

 Olivia was saddened with this information, she felt awful even if she never actually met Jayden. But this didn't dissuade her from trying to find more about them; this just made her even more wanted to find out what happened to them and anyone else who had been affected.  

After work and getting out of her uniform Olivia decided to go into town and ask people about if they knew anything about Jayden Maverick, most people she talked to about them couldn't even recall the person ever lived here. Others who did said that they were insane and mentally ill. That they were a delusional trouble maker back in the day. 

This sentiment was carried most strongly by the town news anchor Ather Conners, the man from the news report that Jayden pulled a clip from and put in his video.

This old man went on a 30 minute rant about how that kid was an annoyance and was a danger to the town back in the day. Even though his criminal record was only theirs, they interrupted live reports with his theories and the accidental trespassing.  

Note to say she didn't like Ather Conners, he was a bitter old man that had no tolerance for anything. She could see that Jayden probably did need help but that doesn't mean that you can smear the name of a kid long past his tragic death.  

Most of the sidewalk interviews were not useful to Olivia but an interesting detail from a few people said that Jayden in the last week of their life a few remember them being very paranoid more than usual and become a recluse. This was something she would write down for latter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  She decided to go home and collect all the info she had that she gathered, from the information she found that the killers first attacked around early June of 1997 with its first killings happening in September.  The first recorded murder of the killer being Molly and Roman Cornwell, both of them were found dead in the forest with deep scarring and missing limbs. 

A common sign of this Northwood Killer is he doesn't just go for the kill, he will often go for more drawn out deaths. Making non lethal cuts and bruises and then removing limbs letting their victims die from blood loss.      

She has discovered that 40% of its victims do get away from the first attack just for them to either die a week later or be institutionalized due to them going insane and becoming a threat to themselves and others afterwards.(She will try to get into contact with those who have had contact with it that are still alive)  

She had spent a whole week On this note map and worked on the death of the officer. That cause happened to be running cold due to the lack of information they could find. 

Footprints disappearing out of nowhere, misinformation from different sources, data corruption and it just seems that people are just forgetting about his existence entirely.  

She was not doing better. It's been a week since she started looking into this case and her moving here . notes would go missing on her noteboard, reading becomes harder every day and her house just doesn't feel safe; it feels like she is always being watched now. 

She had not had any more word dreams like she had on her first night, that didn't comfort her though. While she was in thought she looked down and remembered the tapes. There were still more of them, she turned to them and picked out the next  tape to put it into the tape player on her CRT as the screen turned on.   

 ”Mite as well as watch it to get this feeling off my mind.”

[pansexualpanic11]

Alice Langley Ⅰ

Note: WARNING! THIS ONE-SHOT WILL CONTAIN: Death. Though brief, it does still happen. Also the whole one-shot discusses people grieving. Please don't read if that's not something you're interested in.

It was quiet without her. Without her constant protests and flustered yelps whenever someone made her embarrassed. Without her laughter. Without her presence. It was an empty silence. One that hung over the castle like a dark fog. The castle felt like a ghost town without her. It felt empty and cold. He couldn't stay in this empty place any longer, because it didn't feel like home. It was never his home, because he didn't have a home. But she made it feel like he did. She had always tried to make him feel like he belonged. With her gone, it didn't feel like he was welcome or wanted. So it was best that he left.

"[First Name]… Are you okay?" A quiet voice spoke up. Looking behind him, the boy let out a soft sigh. Sumeirei was stood behind him, her hands pressed tightly over her lap. The boy couldn't bring himself to give her a verbal response. All he could do was weakly nod his head. Taking a few steps towards him, the woman swallowed nervously before reaching out to touch his shoulder. However, before she could even make contact with him, he moved away. The girl's face forged into one of hurt as she recoiled her hand away. Letting out a prolonged sigh, he shook his head.

"Not now Sumeirei... I'm not in the mood. I just... I need to be alone right now. I need some time to process everything. Which is why I'll be leaving for a while. I don't know when I'll come back, but right now, I just need some space to think things over," he uttered out. The girl's eyes softened and she brought her hand to her chest, averting her gaze from his. The grand hallway was eerily quiet, no one had really left their room to talk and socialize since the event occurred. It was a tragedy that had effected almost everyone; with the people it hit the most having been Lulu, Solomon and [First Name] himself.

It had been an awful event. One that had completely shook the group to its core. "I just can't believe she's gone. It's not fair... I don't understand why she had to leave us like this. It's not right. She was so young, she had so much life and potential ahead of her. I..." he couldn't finish his sentence. The memory of her sickly face entered his mind. Her gaunt features, sunken eyes and pale skin still haunted his nightmares. Sleep seemed to be a foreign feeling to him now. How could he sleep when that face haunted his nightmares constantly? It was a constant reminder that she was gone.

Sumeirei shifted her gaze to the side, her lips pulling themselves into a small frown. She could tell he was in a lot of pain. While she had never gotten along with Alice, she knew that it must have been a difficult time for him. They had always been quite close. Well... Not always; it did take Alice some time to open up, but when she did, the two of them became extremely close. "You know... She wouldn't want you to dwell so much on her passing. Alice was a strong-willed woman and she never gave up, she kept fighting... Right until the very end. She'd want you to do the same too," Sumeirei placed her arm against her chest so that her breasts were pressed up against it. 

She made a move towards him, her black heeled boots making a tapping noise against the marble flooring. She only stopped until she was standing right in front of him. He could feel her presence right next to him, though he didn't move to look at her. Instead he turned his head the other way. "And I know that it must hurt more since Lulu left after her death." The boy grit his teeth at this. The fact that she was bringing up Lulu now... It was enraging. Looking up at him, Sumeirei let out a soft sigh. Reaching out a hand, she took his hand in hers, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze.

However, he yanked his hand away from hers and narrowed his eyes. The fact that Lulu had left him made him bitter. He hated the fact that she had abandoned him when he needed her the most. Though he knew that just like him, she needed space. She needed to be on her own right now and he could understand that. However, the fact that she left him without a word, it was a gut wrenching feeling. Did he really not matter that much to her? She always acted like she cared about him, she assured him that she would always be there for him, but she just abandoned him. While he could understand her needing space, he couldn't understand her just leaving without a word.

"What do you even know? You didn't even like her! So what would you know about Alice's hopes and dreams? You didn't know her like I did. You never truly understood Alice or Lulu like I did, and now you think you're suddenly an expert on either of them. You don't know what Alice would have wanted! You didn't get to know her like I did because you were too focused on yourself!" He snapped bitterly. Sumeirei furrowed her brows, her lips crinkling into a firm frown. However, as tempted as she was to yell at him, she didn't. Instead, she spoke calmly.

"Look, I never liked her. Everyone knew that... But I do feel bad about what happened to her. It's a bitter pill to swallow. But she would want all of us to continue fighting. She fought so hard to protect us, so we can't give up. Not now and not ever. We have to continue fighting, we have to defeat King Detsoldue. It's what she would have wanted," [First Name] paused for a moment before shifting his gaze over towards her, he knew she was right. Alice was one of the most resilient people he had ever met and she never gave up. Not even when the odds were stacked against her. She was extremely strong willed and brave.

Despite her fear of the unknown, she always acted so brave. She was also one of the kindest people he had ever met, underneath all those layers of saltiness. Whenever he had been sad, Alice had always been there to reassure him and he didn't know how he would have gotten by without her. She had her own unique way of comforting him whenever he was down, it depended on the situation really. She and Lulu were both unique in the way they would bring comfort to people. But they were both so kind to people. Alice was nice underneath it all. It was all when she got to know a person better.

So not having her there to comfort him now... It felt foreign. It felt strange not to have her around in general. He'd even take her cocky roasts at this point. Whenever he did something stupid, she would always roast him with a smirk. Either that or a monotone expression. It was hard for him to tell when she was joking. He missed Lulu too, her smile, her hair, her scent, her kindness, he missed everything about her. However, unlike Alice, he knew she would come back one day. Whereas Alice, he knew that she was never coming back. It was a painful realization; after all, no one expected her to go so quickly.

While in reality he had only known for her two years, it felt like he had known her for a lifetime. There was nothing he wanted more in the world than to have both girls back with him right now. Despite everything, he knew that Sumeirei was right about everything. He needed to keep going for Alice's sake. She would be disappointed if he gave up now. He had to continue fighting for her sake. To protect the things that she wanted to protect. But he couldn't continue doing that surrounded by the others. He needed to strike it out on his own. At least only for now. He wasn't sure how long he would leave for, but for now he just needed space.

Sumeirei quickly grabbed his hand "Please don't leave... I need you," she whispered. Looking down at the girl, he couldn't help but furrow his brows in concern. Looking into her eyes, he could feel a pang of guilt wash over him. He felt bad, but he knew that he needed to leave. He couldn't stay here much longer; the place was eating him alive. Wrapping her arms around his torso, she nuzzled her head into his side and let out a soft cry. Raising a hand, he contemplated on patting her head, however, he decided against it. He couldn't stay much longer. He needed to leave before anyone else kicked up a fuss.

Right now, he needed nothing more than to be on his own. He needed some space to mull things over and be on his own for a bit. He couldn't be stuck in this suffocating place any longer. "I'm sorry, but I need to leave. I need some time to myself. It's not permanent, but right now I need to take some time to myself," he stated as he looked down at her. Sumeirei's eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at him, her lips pulling themselves into a firm frown. Watching her, he couldn't help but feel remorse. But he couldn't let himself fall into guilt because then he wouldn't leave.

Sighing softly, he combed a hand through his hair. Sumeirei's lips pulled themselves into a frustrated frown as she looked up at him and her eyebrows knitted together in anger and sorrow. She knew his answer to staying would be no. "You've changed you know that [First Name] and not in a good way. I can't believe you're just going to abandon everyone so close after the death of our hero. How could you?!" She screamed and he couldn't help but be taken by surprise at this. He wondered if she felt the same way about Lulu suddenly leaving them just like he was doing?

With that, she turned on her heel and stormed off into the castle. [First Name] let out a small sigh and rubbed his temples in frustration, his lips pulled themselves into a small frown. For a moment, he contemplated on chasing after her, however, he decided against it. Looking ahead at the doors, he decided that now he had to leave, before he ended up hurting anyone else. He knew this made him a hypocrite. After all, when Lulu left, stating that she needed some space, he was enraged. She left everyone their own personal notes, but as for Maidus, she actually went to him in person and said she was leaving.

He could still remember the smell of her perfume, caramel and brownies. He could still feel her in his arms. Her warmth and touch. He loved her more than anything and wished that he had gone with her. He missed her, he wanted her back more than anything. But at least she was still alive, Alice on the other hand was gone. She was never coming back, and he was much as it hurt that she was gone, he knew he couldn't change the outcome. Her death had taken everyone by surprise, as no one was expecting it. One day she was seemingly fine, the next day she was on death's door. People tried everything they could in order to help her, however, no one could.

She was a lost cause, and while it hurt to know that she was going to die, nothing hurt more than the complete helplessness and not being able to do anything to save her. Alice was a moody person but she had a heart of gold, that much was obvious after talking with her and getting to know her better. She didn't deserve to die, especially not in the way she did. It was all unnecessary. She was gone and she was never coming back. She had so much life ahead of her and it wasn't fair that she had to go so soon. But yet, despite the cruelty, she was still taken away. Life could be so horrible.

The air was solemn as he made his way outside of the castle gates, almost as though the sky itself was mourning the death of Alice. The guards who were on duty simply stepped aside, allowing him to leave. As he made his way through the capital centre, he noticed that hardly anyone was around. It was silent... Quiet like the snow. He wondered if anyone else was saddened by her death, if anyone else cared that she was gone. Alice was supposed to kill King Detsoldue, she was supposed to liberate the people. But now she was gone and they had to wait for another hero to come and help them.

Usually, Athlina's capital central was filled with children's laughter and people going about their day to day life, now it was filled with the sound of silence. It was strange, the town felt like a ghost town. It might as well have been one of the destroyed kingdoms. "[First Name]… What are you doing here?" A familiar voice caught his attention. He turned his head, hoping he would see Lulu. However, it was just Collette. Collette had been one of the many who tried to save Alice with her herbal medicines. However, she was just that, a medicine crafter. She wasn't a miracle worker.

She had cured many people with her medicines, however, nothing she did was enough to save Alice. Placing down the potted plant she was holding, the woman cautiously made her way over to him, her lips pulling themselves into a soft smile. Her gaze was gentle and filled with warmth. Collette was one of the few to split off from the group, but that was a given, as she had a job to commit to. People relied on her and her medicines to help them. However, as far as he was aware, she had closed shop for a while. Though it seemed to be open again now. "Oh, hey... Collette. I'm leaving the group..."

"I can't be in that place anymore. I just need some space is all. I'm heading to one of the villages on the outskirts. I don't know where to yet, but I'll think about it when I get there" he sighed. Pressing her hands over her lap, she tilted her head to the side. That warm smile never leaving her face. Even though she had been through a hard time, she managed to remain so calm and placid. It was almost unnerving how she had managed to maintain the same outlook on things. Taking his hands in hers, she brought them to her chest and gave them a small squeeze.

"Come with me, I think we should have a discussion. I'll prepare you some hot tea and we'll talk," she stated with a soft smile. Giving his hand another squeeze, she guided him to her shop before locking the door behind them. The entire store smelt of herbs and sweet smelling flowers, so much so that it was almost overwhelming. She guided him upstairs and made her way toward the stove, where she proceeded to boil some water and prepare some herbal tea. Once it was finished, she gestured for him to sit down at the table, to which he reluctantly did. Placing the tea in front of him, she offered him a kind smile.

"Let's talk about this, shall we? I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out on your own for now. Loneliness and isolation is a burden and it will make things worse. I should know, because I was all alone for quite some time. While I'm used to being alone, it's not a pleasant feeling. I couldn't prevent Lulu from leaving, but I can try and prevent you from doing the same thing," she smiled softly. Looking away from her, he didn't want to look into her eyes. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with her. Was it guilt? Or something else? He wasn't exactly sure what it was.

Sighing softly, she placed a hand over his and gave it a soft but firm, reassuring squeeze, causing him to eventually look at her. "Look... You're a kind person and I don't want you to be consumed by sadness and loneliness. I care so much for you and I never want to see you being hurt. I know this is a difficult time for you, it is for all of us, but... We have to be strong..." she smiled warmly. Getting to her feet, she placed her hands over her lap. Walking towards him, she only stopped when she was at his side. Tilting her head to the side, her long blonde locks tumbled to the side slightly.

Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around him, her chest pressing against his arm. With a soft sigh, he reciprocated her embrace, with her chest now fully in his face. It felt nice to have her arms around him, to feel the warmth of someone's skin. It was a comfort that only physical contact could bring him, a comfort that the fake warmth of his bedsheets couldn't offer him. He really had missed this feeling. The feeling of love, warmth and companionship. The two stood (Well [First Name] was sitting) in silence for a couple of moments before Collette finally spoke up. "You've changed... You know that?" She smiled.

Rested her chin on his head, her lips pulled themselves into a soft smile. Her long pale blonde hair softly tickled his skin and the scent of mint and chai overwhelmed his senses. Looking up at her, he cocked his head to the side, confused as to what she meant by the fact that he'd changed. The young woman slowly released him before letting out a soft laugh. "I meant it in a good way. You're not the same. I mean, when I first met you... I can tell Lulu changed you... She changed all of us. But it wasn't just her was it? It was Alice too." The boy could feel his cheeks softly darkening in colour.

"I have to admit, those girls changed my life... And I think they changed everyone else's lives too. Especially yours. Lulu in particular... She's amazing," the boy smiled. It was true that the twins had helped change a lot of people. Lulu with her kindness and Alice with her unwavering resolve. The two girls had changed many people, but with Alice gone, the hope and joy she and Lulu created was now slowly dying. He missed Lulu and Alice, not just because of the way they both brightened this world, but because they were his friends. Furrowing his brows, he turned his head away from her.

A wave of sadness washed over him as he remembered Lulu had left him as well. Now he had none of them. As soon as Alice passed away, Lulu left the group. No one knew where she had gone to, but she had left in the middle of the night. She had left everyone a letter, each individual one of her friends. [First Name] was sad when he received his letter, but he couldn't say he was shocked. After all, she had just lost her twin sister. Perhaps it was best if she left. After all, since they were twins, it would cause a lot of people agony seeing Lulu every day. The girls by far were not the same, but they looked almost identical. So much so that they were often confused for one another.

"Well yeah... I really liked her. She was always so kind and considerate. It hurts that she left as well... But I get why. It's not forever though. It said in her note that she'd come back one day," she forced a smile as she slowly pulled away from him. Looking up at her, he couldn't help but smile sadly. They both liked the same person and unfortunately only one person could have her, it was just a shame that she chose Dragfur Maidus over either of them. Though he couldn't blame her. Maidus was handsome and talented and rich, he was the full package. Although he came with baggage, Lulu didn't seem to mind.

Maidus had been married before and lost his wife and also lost his daughter. While he was an eligible bachelor, not everyone could handle the fact that he had former ties with his wife and daughter. However, Lulu didn't mind and instead supported him through it. Lulu was a kind and compassionate person and she could understand others. Maidus had a kind paternal side, he had shown as much with his relationship with Solomon; his pupil and son figure. "Hey, Collette... I wanna ask you something? And you have to answer honestly, okay?" The young woman nodded her head, tilting it to the side.

"Do you... Blame yourself for Alice's death?" Collette's eyes briefly widened. Her skin turned pale and she nervously pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her silence was enough for him to know that she really did blame herself. Her silence spoke louder than any of her words could. Sighing, [First Name] took her face in his hands and gave her face a small squeeze. The young woman's face turned a soft shade of pink as she looked up at him. She was about to say something when she heard a knock at the door. With a soft sigh, she made her way towards the entrance of her shop and unlocked the door.

"Hey, Collette. Are you okay? I just wanted to check on everyone, including you. How are you holding up?" Maidus questioned with a warm smile. [First Name] didn't even need to look to know it was him. As much as he resented Maidus for stealing Lulu away, right now he had more to be concerned about. Alice knew of his romantic affections towards her sister and while she was fiercely overprotective of her sister, she actually encouraged him to try and pursue her. However, in the end, out of everyone who loved her, she chose Maidus. It stung, a lot, and he slightly resented him.

It hurt when she did choose him, but as much as he disliked Maidus for it, he was good guy who had helped them more times than he could count. "I'm doing as well as I can be since Lulu left. However, I understand that she needs some space right now. Not only that but I have my own duties here. She offered if I wanted to go with her but I couldn't, I have Solomon to teach still," he stated as he combed a hand through his hair. [First Name]'s eyes drew to slits as he heard him mention Lulu's offer. She never offered him that and Maidus never mentioned she offered that to him before.

Maidus sighed "I have to actually head out to buy some ingredients. I'm hoping maybe making some potions will make Solomon feel better. He really hasn't handled the news that well. She was the first person he ever formed a connection like that with. I mean, the way he looked at her, she was the only one for him. He's not been eating or sleeping properly since her passing. I want to help him feel better. Taking his mind off things will hopefully do better. Maybe you could visit and see if you can help?" He combed a hand through his Golden Blonde locks.

"I mean I can certainly try. However, I don't know whether he'll listen to me or not. He has more of a possibility of listening to [First Name] rather than me. He's actually inside right now if you want to talk to him?" She offered him a kind smile. Maidus nodded his head and stepped inside; [First Name] could feel his heart racing inside his chest as he heard Maidus make his way towards him. Placing a hand over his chest and the other hand behind his back, he performed a polite bow. Watching him, the boy couldn't help but scowl. He didn't know how he could be so calm in a time like this.

"What do you want? I'm busy." His voice was cold and emotionless as he turned his back to Maidus. Truth be told, he couldn't bring himself to look at him. Especially considering how Lulu offered for him to come with her, and yet she didn't extend that same curtesy to him. This was despite the fact that they were close friends. He supposed since she was dating Maidus, it was another story. He thought she wanted to be alone. But now he could see that wasn't the case. Instead of getting angry, Maidus simply cocked his head to the side and offered him a warm smile. While it seemed genuine, it also seemed quite... Malicious.

"You blame yourself... Don't you?" He questioned with a small smile. He tensed up, Collette's eyes widened briefly; he felt the same way she felt. [First Name] remained silent but he nodded his head, causing Maidus to sigh. [First Name] frowned as his mind wandered back to the events of Alice's death. It was hard not to, as the plagued him often. Witnessing her death first hand wasn't something he could just easily shake from his mind. As much as he wanted to erase it from his memories, it clung to his brain like a parasite. Every single time he tried to close his eyes to go to sleep, he would see her there.

...] Alice's lips parted slightly as she lay on her back, her face was flushed and her breathing was shallow. Her chest rose and fell unevenly as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Placing a hand against her forehead, Lulu's lips pulled into a nervous frown. She didn't have much longer left, everyone knew as much. It was just that no one wanted to admit it. Alice was always so hot headed and strong willed, but in this moment and the days leading up to it, she looked so weak and fragile. She was almost unrecognizable as the Alice everyone knew. "Alice... Do you need anything? Anything at all?" Lulu questioned, her voice gentle.

"I'm okay... Thank... You... I'm... Just... Happy you're... Here with me..." Alice struggled to get the words out as she looked up at Lulu. The young woman's brows creased in concern as she gave Alice's hand a squeeze. In this moment, she looked weaker than anyone had ever seen. Alice more often than not would be boisterous and outgoing but she also tended to keep to herself. When she had first arrived, she wouldn't talk with anyone. However, as time passed, she grew more outgoing and would happily communicate with others. So seeing her in this state... It was disheartening for a lot of people to see her like that.

[First Name] was about to respond, when he soon felt Lulu suddenly wrap her arms around his torso and press her face into his chest. He placed a hand on her back and patted it softly. Combing his fingers through her hair, he rubbed her back. Though he didn't say anything as he knew that right now she needed someone to be there to comfort her. Solomon frowned "Alice... Please... Don't leave me alone... Please. I need you, so don't go," he pleaded. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he looked down at her. A gentle smile graced Alice's face, though it looked like it caused her agony to even muster it.

"Come on Solomon... You know I don't have any control over that. We all know what's going to happen and none of us have any control over it," her lips curled into a small frown as she gave his hand a small squeeze. [First Name] knew that she was right, but it still didn't affect the fact that he was going to miss her. Combing a hand through Alice's hair, Solomon pressed his forehead against hers. A soft and shaky sigh escaped his lips as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. Watching him, [First Name] couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He hadn't been handling the news from the beginning, but as her health declined, so did Solomon's energy.

Lulu's grip around the boy tightened as she sobbed quietly, her entire body trembling. "I love you, Alice. I don't want you to leave me, please. I need you. We all need you, so please don't go," Solomon pleaded as he combed his fingers through her long blonde hair. Tilting her head to the side, she let out a soft laugh. Although [First Name] could tell it was forced. He knew her enough to tell that she was forcing it. He knew that underneath her strong façade, she must be completely terrified. Letting out a soft sigh, he looked at the girl with a small frown on his face, he knew she was especially faking it for Lulu's sake.

"Hey, Alice. I know you're lying. Truth is you're scared, aren't you? But you don't have to put on a brave front. I thought by now you would know to tell us the truth," he frowned as her. Alice's entire demeanour seemed to shift at this and her lips curled themselves into a nervous frown. Looking into her eyes, he could tell that her walls were starting to crumble. Lulu pulled away from his chest and turned her gaze to Alice. Getting to her feet, she hovered over her, taking her hand in hers and bringing it to her chest. Forcing a smile and fighting back the tears, she gave it a soft but firm squeeze.

"You don't have it to hide your true feelings. We're all here for you." [First Name] nodded his head and got to his feet before placing his hand on the shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. Alice's eyes grew slightly wide for a moment before she let out a soft sigh. She seemed reluctant but she also seemed afraid. After a couple of moments, she let out a shaky gasp, her façade soon crumbled and her body began to tremble. Burying her face in her hands, she began to sob loudly. Lulu wrapped her arms around Alice and she gave her a squeeze, allowing her to sob and wail into her chest. 

"The truth is, I'm terrified. I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die. I can't pretend I'm not scared anymore. Because the truth is that I'm so scared, I don't want to leave," she sobbed. Hearing her cries tore [First Name] apart. Seeing her walls come tumbling down, it wasn't pleasant. But in a way, it was relieving, knowing she wasn't hiding her true emotions anymore. Lulu combed her hand through her hair, her lips curling themselves into a soft frown. Alice's breathing became more shallow as she sat there, her face darkened in colour and her skin became hot to the touch. However, After a couple of seconds, she soon stopped breathing all together and her hand fell limp.

Lulu's eyes widened in horror as what happened finally registered with her. Alice was gone; and she was never coming back. "Alice?... ALICE?!" she shrieked...] It was a nice funeral. Her body was encased in a glass coffin and she was surrounded by orchids, her favourite flower. Her body had been laid to rest in Athlina capital central. People were allowed to go and see her and pay their respects, but he couldn't bring himself to see her. Maidus sighed and reached out his hand, placing it on the boy's shoulder before giving it a firm yet reassuring squeeze, causing him to look up at him.

"You don't have to blame yourself. She wouldn't want you to do that, either of you. She loved all of you, very much. I know right now it's hard but I promise you things will get better," he offered him a small smile. That was when he did something that he wasn't expecting. He felt Maidus wrap his arms around his torso, reciprocating the embrace, he rested his head on his shoulder. For a moment, his resentment towards Maidus melted away and he felt a wave of happiness wash over him. A soft sigh escaped his lips and for a moment, he felt happy. He felt relieved and relaxed, he was glad and he felt safe. Perhaps things... Would get better?

[ladyintree]

normally,  those words wouldn't bring her comfort.  they'd ring like alarm bells in her mind,  telling her to get out of the conversation immediately and get far, far away from someone she would only assume has one reason for thinking that:   because they're curious, and they're greedy for answers to confirm some wild conspiracy they've spent years developing.   tai likes attention,  she likes knowing she's impressed someone --- but lately,  there's too much attention in the worst of ways,  like people only look at her and see a name that was in the news for years as they waited to find out what really happened out there.

it's different with cassie, though.  maybe it's her tone,  or the way she looks at her,  or the way tai feels when being close to her --- it feels safe,  even if tai can't ever feel that way for long.  at least she does now,  and she wants to lean into it --- she wants to feel that same adoration that cassie feels when taissa tells her the same.   ❝  there is no one like me,  ❞   she says with her usual confidence,  pushing aside any other feelings to focus solely on cassie,  and on the way cassie sees her  (  because she wishes everyone else saw her like this -- like she's not so scary.  ) 

somewhere along the way,  taissa went from tugging at her for warmth to desperately just wanting her closer.   it's hard not to feel warm when she's around cassie, though.  it's comfortable here,  in ways tai didn't think was possible for her anymore,  and she's desperate to hold onto it.   her nose crinkles,  eyes searching cassie's for a long moment before she finally says anything.   ❝  maybe.  i could listen to you talk all day  --  whether you're complimenting me or not,   ❞   she adds,  her grin turning more playful. 

it's been so long since tai has kissed someone that she welcomed the intimacy with.  she's used to hooking up with girls in an attempt to distract herself from anything and everything else that haunts her mind,  but there's never anything satisfying in it --- it always ends the same,  tai disappointed,  feeling like she's wasted her time because there's still a hollowness in her chest she can't fill no matter how hard she tries.  kissing cassie is different,  it sends a spark through her body,  and her legs intertwined with hers tremble softly.  she's careful not to let her kiss become too hungry --- despite how tempting it is,  how much she wishes she could devour this girl,  call her HERS.  she's too sweet for a girl like tai, she thinks,  and she can only assume that cassie deserves someone much, much better than her.  and yet,  she's the one kissing cassie,  she's the one with her hand running through her hair and her lips eager to taste hers.   everywhere that cassie touches feels like it burns,  and tai sighs into the kiss,  her own subtle way of telling her that her touch is welcome.   

when their lips part,  tai's nearly chase hers again,  but she pulls back,  gasping for air as she works to collect her composure again -- but she hardly wants to.  she feels electric,  alive in the way she is constantly trying to feel yet hardly ever successful,  but it feels like cassie's kiss has resurrected her,  brought her fully to the moment in which tai finally feels human again.  alive.  it's such a specific touch that can finally help her get there -- and now,  she looks at cassie the way she feels,  like she's a god begging to be worshipped,  and tai will gladly oblige.   

her words threaten to bring her out of the haze,  a harsh reminder that these things never work out for tai --- and they shouldn't,  because realistically,  she knows she's only ever meant to hurt the ones who get closest.   but cassie's sudden worry is endearing,  and despite tai's own internal struggles with it all,  she is desperate to tell her she's wrong for doubting it.   she just barely shakes her head as cassie goes on,  her hand sliding down to rest against her neck,  thumb brushing over her jaw softly to try to silently reassure her that this is okay,  and tai isn't going anywhere.  ❝  hey,  ❞   she says softly when she finally gets the chance,  but the words don't come,  so instead,  she leans in,  pressing her lips to cassie's once more --- this time,  softly,  briefly,  like a promise that it won't be their last. 

she pulls back now,   forehead resting to cassie's,  still desperate to remain close.   ❝  i --  want that.  to live in the present,  with you,  ❞   she says quietly.  it's mostly unlike her;  she's spent most of her life trying to look ahead,  especially after returning from the wilderness,  and she certainly has no interest in looking back.  but cassie makes the present sound so appealing,  and wrapped up in her now,  she knows that it is.   ❝  it's not a bad thing,  ❞  she promises,  taking a deep breath as her hand slides down from her neck,  over her arm,  down to her waist to hold gently.   ❝  do you see me going anywhere?  ❞   she asks,  hoping to give her that proof.  

i’ve never met anyone like you. it’s just words, words, words, she knows– and taissa can be so good with her words. rough and superior, soft and comforting (she wonders if taissa is a girl like her… a girl that lives between, a girl that lives in the maybes, a girl that has not yet learned how to exist as a fully formed being). but tai wears it more confidently than she does. she switches between those two aching extremes with an ease that cassie can only gawk at. “ i’ve never met anyone like you. ” and cassie hopes those words make taissa feel half as special as she does right now: to be seen so entirely, so singularly, was a beautiful and rare thing. in the dark, taissa’s smile looks sharp and unnatural. something about that invites cassie deeper into the warmth of it. if taissa was a blade, cassie would happily slice herself open along the blunt side of it. “ jeez, ” cassie says, around an exhale, because she’s overwhelmed. because taissa is close and smells sweet and looks too good in the thin light. she doesn’t think she’s ever been this close to another person before. physically, sure, but taissa has sewn herself beneath cassie’s skin. when she feels a heart beat, she isn’t sure which one of them it belongs to. maybe it’s just the space between them. the tandem of two hearts that were all mouth and teeth. “ oh, you so love that you’re special to me. do you want to hear me say it again? ”

and then taissa’s mouth finds hers. she had half - expected rejection, like a child who had been weaned on an unforgiving hardness (she had suckled more wounds than bottles in her childhood: the clammy taste of artificial chemicals still sometimes floods her tongue). but taissa’s mouth is welcoming. she is all warmth, right down to her molten core, and cassie enjoys the way it makes her entire body burn. her hands find the back of taissa’s neck, drawing her ever closer. please, taissa says, and cassie doesn’t even know what she’s asking for– but she wants to give it to her so bad. when she parts from taissa, she is panting into the thin air between them, sending little half - ghosts pouring into the space between them. her fingertips slide down, tracing the brutal edges of the other’s spine. now the water has broken down the dam, cassie lets herself flood the space that stretches across the bed. that’s how it feels with tai, she realises. like drowning, over and over again. being rescued just to drown again. because being worthy of being saved was worth the little death. “ wow. ” it feels hollow. it doesn’t even begin to describe the whirlwind inside of her, but the silence must be filled, and that’s the only word cassie can grasp at fast enough.

“ i hope this doesn’t bite you in the ass sooner or later. if it even is a good thing. shit, maybe that was a really bad thing. do you think it’s a bad thing? cause i think it’s a really good thing. but if you think it’s a bad thing, then i totally agree with you. ” she had lost whatever cool points she had gained, that was for sure. if she even had any cool points in the eyes of the other. “ let’s just… pretend that nothing can go wrong and everything will work out well for us. if we pretend hard enough, it might just happen. my mom told me that– that we can make whatever stories want true if we just hope for it. ” cassie had always rolled her eyes and dismissed her mom as a helpless dreamer. now, though, those words were the most important thing in the world to her.

the kiss has died between them and cassie became all jitters. she misses the warmth of the other, the way their bodies had found each other: she wonders what will become of them (tomorrow, and the day after, and when they die– she hopes that taissa won’t forget her, even then). “ i don’t think it’s a bad thing. ” repeating it makes it seem more real. she drops her thumb, brushing it over her plump bottom lip. “ it was like kissing a cloud. ”

[fischltao]

╔══════════════╗

AOT SQUIRTING HEADCANONS

╚══════════════╝

request by: @multi-fandoms-stuff

"can I pretty request an imagine for aot eren, erwin, levi, connie, armin, jean, reiner, bertolt, ymir, and mikasa about them making there s/o squirt for the first time and there reaction, have the reader get all shy and trys to hide her face??"

notes: ahhh thank you so much for requesting, again im very sorry for the delay and late update, im back on writing now!

warnings: smut, squirting, overstimulation, bodily fluids

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Eren Jeager:

You and Eren have got it going on for a few hours with him and his titan stamina plunging into you without letting you rest for a minute. You haven't even kept track of how long it's been or how many times he's made you cum that night, only focusing on his cock stretching you open and the way he is holding your throat. It's not long until your next orgasm arrives but oh, this time it feels different and suddenly you're squirting all over him and his cock as he keeps fucking you deeper and harder.

"Eren, I need to clean up, Im so sorry I didn't know this would happen, oh my-" You wail while pushing your hands over your face but instead of him stopping he just snaps his hips against yours harder and says:

"No. You're doing it again" Needless to say, you do, indeed.

Erwin Smith:

On your break you had snuck inside Erwin's office to steal a couple of kisses which soon ended up with you laying on the table all over his paperwork and him taking out his emotions on your poor pussy, to the point where you swear someone's going to walk in with a noise complain- not just due to your loud moans- but also due to the fact that his unsteady table is repeatedly creaking on the wooden floor.

"Erwin, I'm so close, Erwin I-ERWIN" You scream as you realize what is actually happening and not being able to hold it in. Both of you are freaking the fuck out. On any other situation he would find this really hot and treat you so good for squirting on him but you just came all over important papers which needed to be delivered awfully soon and neither has zero idea of what the hell you're supposed to do now. You freaking out must have been even louder than your sex noises and now you're adamant that everyone heard.

This was a different walk of shame

Levi Ackerman:

He had just changed the sheets to your shared bedroom when you walked in half naked after your shower, instantly igniting something inside him. The past few weeks had been really tiring for both and the only way to take your exhaustion away was having you bounce on his cock until you were in tears and shaking.

"You're gonna cum baby? I'm so fucking close too" He whispered in your ear like a lullaby in-between heavy breaths as he moved your hair out of your face and locked his eyes with yours. His movements were so gentle and passionate until you both grew desperate for your release and soon he was guiding your hips faster and sloppier while smacking your ass. It wasn't long until you started shaking while he filled you up. After you both came down from your highs you gained awareness of your surroundings and immediately shrunk to yourself.

"What are you hiding away for?"

"You just changed the sheets"

"I can always put another ones" He said awkwardly as you tried to shift away from his lap, when he pulled you right back in "It would be a shame if i changed them while they're only this wet. We might as well just ruin them completely"

Connie Springer:

Sasha and Jean were sleeping on the couch next to you after a nice dinner and Connie was feeling really turned on, right from the start of the night when you felt his fingers creeping up inside your panties and circling over your clit before teasing their way inside.

"Can we at least go somewhere isolated? I feel bad for-" You choked trying not to make a sound as his finger where now dipping in and out of your cunt in a desperate need of feeling your walls clench around them "Connie-"

"It's too comfy here, try to be more quiet baby" He whispered back as he lifted your skirt and pushed his tip inside not letting it all in but rather slipping it in and then pulling out and rubbing on your clit until you felt yourself cumming. Hard.

You were trying so hard to not make a noise until you realized what actually happened and turned around to look at your boyfriend in shock with heat rising up your cheeks. This cheeky motherfucker was looking back at you with the biggest smirk before plunging his entire length inside. Definitely proud of himself... And you definetely have to clean up before a) Jean and/or Sasha wake up b) Captain Levi haunts your dreams.

Jean Kirschstein:

Jean and you had been sent on different expenditions for the week so it was safe to say that you really missed spending time with each other. And him inside you.

Once he closes his room's door he already has you pushed against the wall and taking you right there while standing up. Jean is the romantic type but missing you made him desperate for your touch. You were sure you were seeing stars at one point, the way he pressed against you was magnificent and it just kept getting better and better until you felt the bubble inside you burst and soon your juices were everywhere on the floor. Everywhere.

You instantly felt like hiding away and audibly apologized while he still fucked the shit out of you. Confused he started slowing down and voiced his concern over your sudden apology until he realized what went down and blushed. 'Thats it, its over' you thought. Suddenly the most unexpected thing happened. A huge smile crept on his face "I made you squirt! Oh my god you look so hot, I bet Eren would never be able to make a girl sq-" He exclaimed before you kicked his leg.

Armin Arlet:

Armin is such a sweet young man. He had you laid on the bed for him as he slowly fucked into you, gasping in between kisses and telling you just how much he loves you. Gaining more confidence in yourself your moans became louder and louder and soon his pace changed into sharp and quick thrusts.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train and cherished the way he was the one to make you scream and breathe like that. He felt so blessed that you chose him as the man to have inside your velvet walls and-

Why is the bed wet? Did the rain get through the wooden roof? Why are you trying to hide away? Armin genuinely had no clue.

"Is everything okay baby? Do you feel uncomfortable with the waters?" He asked as more color rose up to your cheeks, refusing to look in his eyes as you awkwardly tried to explain what had happened was not a leak in the roof "What did you say?"

"I squirted"

"Oh"

"Yes"

"This is way more exciting than a leaking roof...Way more"

Reiner Braun:

Reiner is an emotional man and it shows when you get intimate with each other. One time he has you on all fours, with a finger deep in your asshole as he rails your guts.

"Noone else can fuck you like that fuck- what is it baby, is there anyone else that will fuck you this good? Have you crying from their cock? Use your words princess come on" He gasped as his own tears were threatening to fall, seeking emotional validation as well as pleasure as you tried to form a coherent sentence while sobbing "Didn't think so darling, you're such a whore for me"

And in the heat of the moment the offspring of his actions and words erupted from your throat as a loud scream and your juices squirted all over his lap for the first time. The sighting made Reiner cum in an instant and neither had the energy to talk about it, until he embraced you tightly from behind and thanked you for allowing him to be with you and sharing your most vulnerable moment with him.

Berthold Hoover:

His cock felt so good as you bounced on it . In a way it was therapeutic and for the past 7 minutes you've been in this position you've felt constantly on the edge and your thighs burned until sweet release washed you over and soon you were clasping poor Bert's shoulders as you screamed and squirted all over him while he pulled his dick out of your spent pussy and slapped its head on your clit as he watched more liquid come out.

After your orgasm died down a little, instant shame washed over you and you tried hopping away before he hugged you tightly and swayed you without realizing that hes accidentally rubbing you on his cock again and that you are about to pass out....

Ymir:

Ymir is a big tease. A really big one. Proof being her refusing to finally push her fingers inside your soaked slit, instead choosing to just rub up and down while slipping half an inch inside before you grew desperate and moved your own fingers to your clit and rubbing vigorously.

"Fuck" You heard her exclaim before plunging two of her fingers inside "Don't stop touching yourself baby, wanna make you cum like that" She commanded as her fingers dove in and out as fast as she could while you screamed under her touch. Your orgasm came fast and before you knew it, Ymir was soaking wet with your juices . "Never knew my girl could squirt, makes me wish I ate you out instead" She says before diving in.

Mikasa Ackerman:

It was a quiet night with Mika as you laid on your bed next to each other. Your conversation ended with your fingers in her pussy and hers in yours. Both struggled with the pace as you chased your release and her moans in your ear caused you to lose control and instantly let go and clench around her fingers as clear liquid soaked the sheets right beneath you and she turned her head to look at you in awe.

"I'm so sorry Mikasa I didn't know this would-"

"Do you think I can do this too?" She asked with flushed cheeks and an innocent look on her face.

"Eh? Squirt?" You asked and before she had the chance to nod you took out the dildo from your drawer and plunged it deep into her dripping pussy.

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

[thefanbasewhore]

The Weeping.

Prompt no. 4 from @wkemeup 's 9k challenge! - Character A is being held hostage. Character B offers to trade themselves in A's place.

master list || tag list

Summary || After you're taken from a mission, Bucky offers himself in order to insure your safety.

Paring || Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count || 1,660

Warnings || abduction (kidnapping??), violence, gun-fire, mentions dead bodies and blood, angst.

Side note || clear eyes is Bucky and yours way of saying everything is okay and this is shorter then I intended it to be, I didn't have a lot of time to write it, so if it seems rushed, I'm sorry.

The mission was supposed to be simple - a quick in and out, retrieve the information and burn that place to the ground but even that seemed unattainable at the moment.

Bullets whiz through the air, penetrating the barrier of sound that make Bucky's ears ring. To anyone else it is frightening, usually follows screams of terror but it's something he lives for, the only familiar sound to stay with him constantly through the years. Adrenaline makes his body visibly tremble, chest conforming to laboring breath in order to stay quiet. Those crystal blue orbs narrowing, fine wrinkles bunch on the skin of his forehead as he nods towards you, on the opposite side of the room but still in his peripheral vision.

He nods once more - just to ensure that the hallway is clear. His heart is thumping against his chest right along with your own, fingers clenched the butt of your to bring it closer to your chest, raising it as Bucky moves in front of you with his own. The walls are splattered with red, fresh blood as you maneuver through the corpses' that lifelessly scatter the floors and the dark hallway seems almost endless, except the flickering light at the end of it. With every muffled gunshot it turns into darkness only to be unexpectedly brought to life again. "Stay low.." Bucky whispers as he follows your stance - back against the wall and a free hand reaching for the spare knife hidden in both of your boots but not before he extends his arm and fingers grasp the buckle across your chest with a gentle but meaningful pull, "Clear eyes?" "Clear eyes." Bucky nods softly as the cool vibranium finger sculpts the structure of your jaw with twinkling eyes. "Be careful in there, okay? You need anything --." He taps the shell of his ear with two fingers, and you nod in understanding. With one last glance Bucky turns towards the double doors, a hand pressing against the handle as he uses his body weight to push it open with ease and the moment he does more gunfire echoes the walls of the room. A sudden blur of motion catches his attention as his breath hitches as his arms wrap around you as bullets whiz through the air, only inches away from piercing your skin. Bucky uses the other door as cover as metal bullets ricochet. Smaller fingers clench into his flesh arm, forming indentations of small crescent moons as a means to seek cover. Bucky's arms wrap around you pulling you into his chest to shield you from any stray bullets but the heavy door behind his back is a strong enough metal to take the blunt force of the bullets without breaking through. His soothing hands find your hair, breathing heavily as he angles your face to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?" Your throat tightens at his worried expression but nods to confirm you were not hit. Bucky nods back, eyes setting in a hard line as he keeps you between his legs but peers over the threshold of the floor but a warning short from around the corner bounces off the walls. "Fuck." Bucky whispers as he reaches into the pocket of his tactical pants, but you don't need to look to see what he's got. "I'll go up the stairs, you go to the right." He pulls the pin out, rolling it into the room and waits until a thick, white cloud of smoke fills the hall, with one last nod he pulls his glasses down, fingers tapping the side as they click to life. You follow behind, gun raised in the air as you follow through sweeping the rather large room. The smoke is thick - suffocating, throat closing due to the inadequate amounts of oxygen, but you swallow the ball in the back of your throat while trying to maneuver through it, the glasses didn't help much. Footsteps cause you to jump, turning in every direction but the cloud is too thick and they near closer following along with your frantic motions to protect yourself with a mixture of anxiety and fear coarse through your veins. Something is mumbled to your right but it's too late, two rather large hands roughly grab at your hair, pulling it into a tight fist as another set of hands catch your leg - pulling into your fall onto the ground, hitting your head hard enough that dark, round dots cloud your vision. Before you could even manage to move - the cool surface of a blade touches your neck and your raise your hands in surrender as the weight of the man moves to crush your chest, face still veiled behind the white smoke. Without a word he turns you around, pressing your cheek against the floor with a rough hand as he pats down your suit, pulling the knives out with a snarl as his friend picks up your gun. 'Sweetheart, where are you?' Bucky's voice is muffled from the fact that the man's hand presses against it, but it vibrates his skin and it's yanked from your ear and crushed between two fingers. When the smoke dissipates the man brings you

to your knees, hands wrapped around your wrists with an unforgiving knee digging into your spine. "If you want her alive, come out now." A thick, foreign accent bounces off the walls of the room as the hand tightens, the other goon on your right holds your gun up as a blur moves in the corner of your eyes. Bucky's eyes meet yours in a panic as he rounds the corner, raising his gun to the man that holds your hair which only causes him to say something in a foreign language, digging the knife into your throat until it stings with pain. Every ragged breath the sharpened blade nicks the thickest column of your neck. "Let her go." Bucky hisses through clenched teeth, jaw clenching as seafoam eyes darken like the night sky. The man smiles evilly, a sick grin that reaches his eyes, makes Bucky's stomach drop inside his stomach as he twirls the knife around a dirty, unmanicured finger. "Didn't think we'd recognize you with that haircut, Soldat?" The skin of your neck burns as a yelp of pain fills the room, blood smears his fingers and invades your senses and the words make Bucky's eyes narrow, squeezing them shut at the words. The smell of smoke, gunfire and metallic make your head spin as Bucky lowers the gun to the ground, hands raised in the air. "Take me, let her go." "What use do we have for you now, Soldat? You are no longer our winter soldier; they have rid you of that." The man's sick chuckle causes him to shake his head, eyes wild with paralyzing fear. "That's not true - I feel him, he's still in here." He pauses, guilty eyes flicker to your own and back up the to man's, "Just let her go, don't hurt her." "No, no." You manage to mumble, tears stinging the waterline of your eyes as you grit your teeth in pain, he never lets the pressure of the knife go as you try to suppress a shiver. Bucky lowers his head with shame, in complete defeat as he lowers to his knees and moves the gun further away. "He's still in here. You can get him out. Take me instead of her, please." "Stop, no!" Eyes of guilt refuse to meet your own, the secret you have known all along and Bucky's urge to smother the winter solider completely blinded him from the fact that this could happen someday. It's been years since he's been so called 'freed' but some roots are so deep they can't be removed, the inside of his brain still tainted with the dark soldier who refuses to stop haunting him after all this time. "Bucky don't you fucking do it!" Bucky ignores the calls, squeezing his eyes shut with emotion. It's not fair, all those years spent brainwashed, tucked away inside his own brain just to end up there again. He barely survived the trauma then but now - he would never be able to, not without Steve, without the Wakandian's again. "Walk towards me, slowly." The other man commands as Bucky nods an understanding to stand on his feet but pauses as the knife presses into your skin more, "Let her go first." The instant the knife is gone is relief, hand reaching up to rub the burning skin and smear blood against your gloved hand and along your neck. Roughly the knee against your back pushes you from the position of on your knees to leaning against the man for support as his arm crosses against your chest, hand crushing the windpipe of your neck. "I will count to three and you both will walk, you towards me, her out the door. Got it?" With every number your heart pounds inside your chest, face turning red due to the harsh grasp at the surface of jaw as a cough follows suit, chest greedy for oxygen as he releases. Bucky takes the first step forward, edging you closer with his eyes that leave little room for argument. Close, slow steps until both yours and his arm brush against each other The fat of your bottom lip quivers as he leans forwards, hands still raise obediently in the air to press his forehead against your own. "Buck -." "Promise me, you won't come look for me." It is rushed as the men in front of him yell but inaudible as you shake your head as tears push past eyelashes. "I mean it, forget about me, they'll never stop. Okay? No

matter how much I try, they will never leave me alone." "How could you say -." There's a rough tug on his hand, pushing him forward but he uses the last second, he can spare to press one more heartbreaking kiss against your lips and before you could comprehend what coming next - a burning, red-hot pain radiates at the base of your skull and numbing darkness consumes you.

tags: @sugarpunch-princess, @old-enough-to-know-better73, @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals, @Fajitasandfics, @devilswaldorf, @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123, @grubler, @SodDy030, @agent-catfish-kenobi,@scarletglowss, @abitchforbarnes, @xxlovingfandomsxx, @jewishdelis, @klorpski, @kaitieskidmore1, @peterpstuff, @akaaaaashiiii, @angelsandsorcery, @moony-is-bae, @yliumy, @watermelonsponge, @stolenxkissess, @peakascum, @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme, @crvecem, @likealadygodiva, @harrysthiccthighss, @burnerbitchh, @sergeantjamesbbarnes, @amelia-song-pond

[zv5x]

Okay here we go - Can I req some P! Spirit hcs with his lesbian friend? Would he let them ever get a girlfriend or partner? Is it even possible for spirit to be a platonic yan ? Thank you !! (Also, side note I’m sorry if this isn’t the right way to send in a req I only really use tumblr on computer so mobile is confusing 😭)

Hi there! So sorry for this taking so long! I hope this was worth it! Feel free to stop by anytime you need anything done! You're always welcome! Your request sent in just fine btw! I didn't have any issues so I'm sure everything was done right!

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) ✧.｡*♡

Getting Spirit as a yandere and having that love be platonic is definitely rare, let me just say that. You'd have to be quite literally unable to feel any attraction to him. He wouldn't force you knowing your sexuality won't allow for it. He's not that vile, truly. Even he has standards. Still, that doesn't mean you'll be able to really ever find a partner with him glued to your side. His species is scary enough to any human onlooker, but adding onto that, his loathing of basically all others of the human race? Blood chilling to your average person

You can try bugging Spirit about laying off a bit, but he'll just simply give you a response claiming none of your current suitors truly deserve you. They're not up to what you deserve, in his eyes. As much as it pains him to have to willingly hand you over, he'll just have to point you in the direction of someone he personally knowns to ensure you'll be getting the best care possible. Even when he has you set up, he'll still be the same Yan!Spirit, just without the romantic aspect

He's especially protective over you considering your sexuality. He heard humans were incredibly bigoted sometimes, and Spirit would hate to not be there for you when one of those close-minded assholes makes their way near you. He'd hate to have to rip anyone in half right in the middle of the street but he may have to if people don't get the message through his death glares and growls. Romantically or platonically, you're still his precious, and he's going to keep you safe no matter what. Just because you can't love him romantically doesn't mean he has to toss you away completely. He needs to be there to protect you, and he'll definitely take every possible measure and step he can to make sure that happens

Speaking of which, don't be shocked if whatever demon Spirit paired you up with has some...."Spirit-like" tendencies herself. I mean, what did you expect? That he'd just throw you into a ring of succubi and hope one of them will take care of you? No. That's not happening. He wanted someone who will take care of you just as good as he would have. Even if that means she's basically operating as another pair of eyes for Spirit, as well as a makeshift stalker. Spirit and her will be constantly gushing about you, but it's only natural they do so! It's not so often a human as cute as you graces the planet, so how can you be surprised you have a few suitors?

Don't worry though, you can rest easy at night knowing you're well protected. With two pairs of eyes staring you down through haunted mirrors and makeshift portals, nothing will ever be able to harm you ever again. Spirit can't feel anything but happy for you! He found someone who will treat you like the precious bunny you are, with no questions asked! You're getting exactly what you deserve in his eyes, (Y/N). He'd do exactly the same to you if he could, but his friend is the next best thing!

Isn't it funny how things work out? ♡