#but on Sunday

[ataraxiaspainting]

The Floor is Breathing.

Yan Overhaul x F Reader. 

Synopsis: You feel like both the witness and the victim in an uncommitted crime.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking/non-consensual recording, mentions of binge eating, and some infantilization.

Word Count: 1k.

*~*~*~*

You can swear that these white walls blink.

Something, somewhere here, has eyes that look you up and down – you feel its breath on the back of your neck when you fall asleep facing a wall, the only decorated wall you have ever seen in this facility, actually. 

You’re not crazy. You have to remind yourself day in and day out of that fact, but you’re not crazy; you know another living being is in here with you, watching attentively.

Overhaul – no, “Kai” is what he forces you to call him now, says that there are no cameras in your room, but your gut screams otherwise.

You asked if he was sure, once, two days or four days, or six days ago – it should still be recent as you did not feel as isolated as you do now – and he responded by saying if he really wanted to keep a closer eye on you, he would just become your new roommate.

You’re unsure as to if that was a threat. He seemed happy when those words came out of his masked mouth, so perhaps it was just some unfunny gest. He made those sometimes, especially when he tries to coax you into taking vitamins every mealtime. Those jokes were as dull as the light brown and white pills piled up in a little cup meant for dipping sauces. Perhaps it was repurposed or Kai had ordered some from somewhere or he has some restaurant under his control somewhere.

Somewhere so dirty and filled with sugar and oils and artificial coloring. You’d die for just a sniff of pizza being served at an all-you-can-eat buffet or deep-fried cakes being served at a pop-up carnival. If health inspectors didn’t approve of such spots, or at the very most give them a C rating, then Kai wouldn’t go within two blocks of them. Much less let you. You’d stuff yourself to the brim like it is your last meal and compared to the boiled chicken and rice and broccoli you were given daily, chips and cookies may as well be.

A call of your name makes reality come back faster than a slap to the face – and hurts just as much.

“I asked you something, sweetheart. What do you want to do today?” Kai asks.

He didn’t seem angry or irritated as he repeated himself. His voice was still soft and the way he taps his foot against the pastel pink heart carpet reflects that. Times like these almost make you wish you were deaf. The words feel rehearsed but also feel as though they are straight from the heart like the actor was passionate enough in reciting their lines or was grossly in love with the story of the show. 

“I don’t know,” Unlike Kai, you forget your script quite often – aside from that one saying.

“You don’t know?” He’s still smiling. You know it.

“No.” You murmur. He puts an elbow on the small white table, stabilizing his head with his gloved hand. “I don’t.”

“I have some ideas,” The feeling of dread makes your stomach drop. Or was it your heart? Lungs, perhaps? You don’t know how to breathe right now, after all.

“I… don’t know, Kai.”

“You said that already.”

For your sanity, you choose to look at your freshly remade bed instead of his eyes. The rabbit plush you were given on your third or so day here lays alone on top of your singular pillow. The bars surrounding the sides reminded you of a crib. You’re only allowed to put your legs over the railing when Kai comes to your room in the morning and you’re not allowed to get out by yourself; he grabs your hand to assist you.

“Do you want to know what my ideas are?”

You’re not allowed to say no to anything Kai suggests. It’s an unspoken rule, unlike the ones for your room. “Um… okay…”

“Well,” Kai begins, his other arm being laid out on the table. His palm is facing upwards and you know what that means.

Your hand moves towards his – you try your best not to flinch this time in response to his slight grip, but you fail.

Kai chooses not to notice it for now. Just a small treat for this morning’s hug.

“I was thinking we could go to my office. Just for a change of scenery.” His thumb moves back and forth across your knuckles. “We could bring your colored pencils or your book if you’d like. It’s still noon, so we have some time before your daily check-in.”

“Okay…”

*~*~*~*

You had opted for your book in the end, although you regret your choice now because two of the four walls in Kai’s office have windows, and just outside of them were uncrowded streets that lead up to small hills on either side. The hue of the grass was off – a dull brown – but considering it was about time for autumn to roll around, you didn’t judge. Not that you could, anyway.

Could you ask to go back and get your colored pencils? You attempt to dismiss the thought by imagining future possibilities. Kai seems to be working on his computer right now though, and the guards outside wouldn’t let you leave by yourself anyway.

To hell with it, you think. It’s fine. He won’t get mad. 

At least… you hope so.

You walk over slowly until you are nearly touching his left shoulder. “Can I please get my colored-”

It’s you, from different angles and at different times of day – even some videos of you before you were kidnapped. They are of you sleeping, of you eating, of you looking under your bed. They are of you putting on socks, of you microwaving dinner after a long workday, of you talking on the phone with friends for hours. They are long and short – you can see some of them even repeat. Oh fuck. Is there a camera in this room too, or-

Before you can continue analyzing, Kai slams his laptop shut.

“Go back to reading, sweetheart.” It’s an order – you know it from the way he does not blink and the way his arms cross. He didn’t want you to see his screen; that fact is as clear as a cloudless sky. “You can color another day, okay?”

[gumnut-logic]

WIP Wednesday on Sunday

I have come to the conclusion that writing when tired ends up with scenes like this:

Scott drew in a harsh breath in Alan’s ear and the sound that escaped between his brother’s teeth was pain itself.

Alan thought he couldn’t cry anymore, but apparently he could.

He squeezed his eyes shut and refused to let out a sound, clinging to his big brother who was trembling almost as much as he.

He clung for a moment before stronger arms were gently wrapping around the both of them. Virgil was saying something, a soft, whispering rumble Alan didn’t have the energy to understand.

At some point his head was shifted from cotton to flannel and he was lifted off the chair and held close. More soft words and his gangly thirteen-year-old self was carried to the spare bed on the other side of the room.

The cool sheets were soft against his skin.

Which is fine, but not when said characters are not supposed to go to bed. Going to bed when they are supposed to go out the door is counter-productive to plot execution and obviously pandering to my need to go to sleep.

Consequently, I am now, first thing in the morning directly after breakfast, needing to fix this and likely delete most of the above.

I really need to disconnect myself from the characters just a little bit.

Nutty

(Possessed apparently)

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff - but on Sunday)

I went to the coast for my Bff's mom's funeral service & memorial. It was not good times.

My Bff's brother seems like a good guy, to everyone else, but a long while back, my brother said some bs to him, and I've been persona non grata, for no good reason, ever since.

I went through so many damned old photos. So many shitty photos lol.

Please, I beg you, have your parents and grandparents LABLE YOUR FAMILY PHOTOS. I went through so many photos of people that my friend had NO IDEA who they were. Just some ancestors.

Also, have your parents and grandparents make wills that clearly designate their final wishes about everything. All their burial wishes, money, and THINGS. Fighting over stuff is so stupid after a death.

Being made to feel like you're not valuable is really shitty. Please don't make your friends and family feel that way. Also, transactional relationships are bullshit.

And seven because - As you can probably tell I had a shite time this week. Please tell those you love, whether they're real or chosen family, that you love them, and mean it.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[beaiola]

Inspiration Saturday (...on Sunday)

Coming in a day late but thanks to @chelle-68, @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3, @smblmn and @blackandwhiteandrose for tagging me.

Been working on editing the last few days, here is something that has helped inspire me along the way with my WIP!

As I said, I'm a day late so not tagging anyone in particular this week, but anyone who wants to share something, feel free!

[antvnger]

Snapchat Saturday Sunday

This is a bucket list item I didn’t know I had but I totally marked it off my list tonight!

[blueskittlesart]

i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

[sleepyyghostt]

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

[paintdoktahwho]

google it

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x03 - “Finally Got The Name Right”

[vera-dauriac]

Me: Oh look! There's a recent ROH Aida streaming on Medici I've never seen! So exciting!!! I wonder who's in it?!

Me: Sigh. Never mind.

[ataraxiaspainting]

Laurel's Perfect Sun.

Yan Luka x GN Reader.

Synopsis: Sometimes stars are made to fall.

Warnings: Yandere themes, enslavement, (sort of) religious themes, manipulation, mentions of death/violence, and unhealthy relationships.

Word Count: 400.

*~*~*~*

Like an angel stripped of their wings, you’re stripped of your love.

The pain doesn’t provide the same sense of despair. No, it comes after a type of relatability is brought into your heart – close to belonging or a kinship – a stranger so outwardly dissimilar to you. Another human who is made up of everything someone of your species needs to survive in a world abandoned by their “God”.

Charisma, intelligence, and a state of perfect constitution.

Don’t look up. Luka’s voice echoes in your ears. It is a perfect replica of your shared mistress’ order – something he planted into her brain to keep you in line. Just recite.

You’re one of many moons that circle nameless planets. You want to become the sun – to shine so bright is to kill everything, even non-living things can sound like they are screaming if you try hard enough to hear. To be in the sky to watch it all is your greatest wish.

“Yet each man kills the thing he loves. By each let this be heard; some do it with a bitter look,” You use the paper in front of you to cloud your already limited vision and to stop the temptation to disobey an unsaid command. “Some with a flattering word…”

“That’s enough. We should rest. I would love to join you for tea if you’d have me.” He isn’t asking, you know this observation to be true. You feel Luka’s cold fingers move from the place where your jaw and throat connect to the tip of your chin. It’s permission you’re instinctual to accept no matter how you may feel inside – you don’t matter enough. 

Your birth doesn’t matter enough.

Your life doesn’t matter enough. Only your death will matter because despite your one desire to be alone; you will still have a prayer begging at your altar.

Luka is as non-discardable to your overlords as the sun is as important to this universe – he can’t join you in the afterlife but he will try.

He will try to make you stay. He will try to go with you.

You prefer the latter because you get to see if heaven is real and if your old friends are past its gates. If there is no heaven, there is no hell Luka will sink into.

You’ll weep like a real angel then, even if your wings are made of ash.

[hoymiko]

Welcome to the express

[duhaerith]

sunday

[fenkko]

WHEN I DIE I MAY NOT GO TO HEAVEN I DON'T KNOW IF THEY LET COWBOYS IN

[nomohmoss]

biblically accurate sunday