#but of course it's him lol he's the guitarist

[elliewithcellie]

Girl, Interrupted

summary: Eddie crashes by your home when you least expected, but everything happens for a reason, right?

wc: 1.8k

cw: PURE SMUT (MDNI 18+), basically no plot, friends to fwb?, oral (f receiving), Eddie is a tease, fairly bold reader lol, fingering, talk of p in v sex, hair pulling, orgasms idk let me know what else

a/n: my bestie bought me slutty pajamas for my birthday, and since I'm a hypothetical whore, this has been on my mind nonstop. Finally took a break from my spn series to write this down. This is the filthiest thing I've written to date but definitely short and sweet

Eddie’s jaw fell slack as the door opened before him. He knew he shouldn’t have shown up to your place uninvited. Sure, you were his best friend, and of course, you had said he could come over whenever, but that never truly meant unannounced. He was already kicking himself for showing up as late as he did when you opened the door.

Your oh so short pajama shorts were the first thing that caught his eye, how your thighs spilled out beneath them, the cotton begging for relief. His eyes trailed higher to your tank top one size too small. The hem rested just above your midriff, the outline of your hips more prominent than he had ever seen. Your face was flush, pinks and reds lining your cheeks. He fought the urge to pinch himself, scared that he was dreaming, scared that he’d wake up to the absence of you and very real feelings emerging.

“Eddie? What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest. “I thought you had a date.”

Date, what date? Eddie’s mind was going numb. His brain was flatlining at the mere sight of you, more exposed to him than he’d ever seen you. Fight or flight kicked in, debating on whether to say something or just turn around and leave. He was almost sure he was not supposed to see you in this state.

“I—uhh—it didn’t go well, so I cut it short. But I know you love the place, so I figured I’d bring over the leftovers.”

“Oh, sweet. Thank you.”

Eddie hesitated, scared to ask, but his interest piqued. “Is someone—you’re alone right now, right?”

Your eyebrows pinched together. You exhaled a dry laugh. “Please, I’m always alone. Come in. Tell me about your date.”

You ushered Eddie inside and settled into your couch. You pulled a blanket over you, and Eddie released a sigh. He couldn’t believe the hold you suddenly had on him. It was like he was in high school again, ready to combust at the sight of a shoulder. At least with your legs covered, he was less inclined to think about spreading them.

“Was it really that bad?” you asked, drawing Eddie from his thoughts.

“She was just so boring,” Eddie complained. “Like, there’s nothing wrong with her, but it was like we were from different planets! She didn’t know Metallica! How am I supposed to bond with someone when there’s nothing to relate to?”

“Did you think of showing her?”

“Showing her what?”

“Metallica!” you laughed. “Wouldn’t that be kind of romantic, you know, to introduce that to her? Maybe tell her you’re in a band? It’d be like showing her a whole new world. And maybe you’d get a groupie out of it.”

Eddie swatted at the air. “It’s not worth it. We were both bored. And it was clear she wasn’t looking to rock with a guitarist.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“You didn’t meet her. She’s pristine, a Chrissy Cunningham type. Meant to be with a lawyer or some shit.”

You leaned in closer to Eddie, your blanket sliding down your thighs. “Those are the girls who fantasize about guys like you the most. Those girls on the straight and narrow, the ones who seemed destined to be sweet stay-at-home moms or perfect career women, those are the ones who dream of just one night doing something they never thought they could. Something so wild that when they’re taking their kids to soccer practice, or their ‘perfect husband’ is asleep on the recliner while they're doing the dishes, they can think back to that wild night when they fucked a rockstar.”

Eddie’s lip trembled as chills coursed through his body. You leaned back against the couch and shrugged like what you said was nothing. You had to be on something, he decided. Never had you been so frank when the topic of sex came up. Your face was still flushed with color, and you couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position on the couch, shifting yourself from one side to the other to no specific rhythm. Heat radiated off of you, though you weren’t known to be the furnace between the two of you. Something struck Eddie as so foreign but so familiar as he took you in.

“Would you fuck a rockstar?” Eddie found himself saying.

Heat rose to your cheeks. “Do I seem like one of those straight-and-narrow girls to you?”

“That’s not what I asked,” Eddie said, a newfound confidence overtaking him. “You came up with that way too fast to act like you don’t think of it, too. So, would you fuck a rockstar?”

You bit your lip and shifted in your seat. You huffed into the couch. “Wouldn’t anyone?”

“Why so shy all of a sudden?” Eddie asked, egging you on. “You’ve been squirming since I got here, sweetheart. Is something on your mind?”

Your eyes trailed from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Tonight is not the night to ask me that.”

“Why is that?” Eddie chuckled. “Were you in the middle of something? Was something left unfinished when I so rudely interrupted? And now all you can think about is the ache between your legs?”

You shuddered at his words. “Eddie,” you said, your voice shaking.

“I could help you.” Eddie leaned closer, his words almost a whisper. “Because I may not be a rockstar, but I’m sure I could give you the night of your life.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “Don’t tease me. It’s not funny.”

“No one’s laughing.” Eddie pulled the blanket back, his hands resting on your thighs. Your legs slightly opened on instinct. “What kind of friend would I be, huh? If I didn’t at least offer?”

Eddie didn’t know where this bravado came from, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the longer you looked at him like that, the harder he got.

You grabbed him by his shirt and forced his lips on yours. Nothing soft or sweet came from your lips. You were needy and desperate, clinging to him like he was the air in your lungs.

The urgency shocked Eddie, but he quickly found your rhythm. He smirked against your lips as he pulled his jacket off. His hands snaked from your thighs to your hips to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You groaned into his mouth as he rolled you against him.

He was sure he was dreaming now. Only there did he ever picture you above him, grinding your hips into his. Only there did he imagine you moaning from his touch. But never were his dreams this vivid, this real, this fucking good.

He pulled you from him and pushed you back onto the couch. You whined at the loss of contact. He’d never seen your eyes so dark, so lustful, so hungry for him.

He slid down to the floor onto his knees and pulled you to the edge of the couch. “You still want my help, sweetheart?”

You nodded emphatically.

“I need to hear you, baby. Say it.”

“Please help me, Eddie. I need you. Please.”

“Atta girl.”

You lifted yourself up as Eddie pulled your shorts down your legs. Eddie’s cock jumped at the sight of you. He bit his lip to maintain what little composure he had left.

“Aww, your poor little pussy’s just as needy as you, isn’t she?” He spread your knees apart, the cold metal on his fingers sending chills up your spine. The throbbing between your legs only intensified, a small whimper escaping your lips.

Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. There was no time for teasing, no time to explore. You needed him, and he was going to deliver.

He dove into your aching pussy like a man starved. You jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair. His tongue worked overtime, kitten-licking your clit before diving in for more.

“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he said, smiling against you. You moaned in response, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him closer.

Your sounds turned him on even more, searching for his own release as he rubbed himself against the couch. His mind was in a daze, in utter disbelief that anyone could look so perfect for him with your legs spread and your back arched. Your chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his tongue, and your lips formed a perfect ‘o’. Oh, how Eddie wanted to feel your lips around his cock. How you’d sink down on him, your perfect innocent mouth being completely sinful just for him.

He placed a finger at your entrance and pumped in and out, his thumb now circling your clit. Your head fell back. “God, yes, Eddie. Just like that.”

“I need you to do something for me, baby,” Eddie said as he added a second finger.

“Wha—what’s that?” you asked, breathless.

“I need you to tell me what you think of when you get off. Tell me what you were thinking of before I showed up at your door.”

“I—I oh god,” you shouted as Eddie’s lips found your clit. “I—I thought about you on your fucking date.”

“Oh fuck,” Eddie groaned into your pussy, the vibrations shooting up your spine.

“I pictured you fucking her from behind, her skirt hiked up to her hips, her panties to the side as you fucked her in front of the bathroom mirror.”

“Fucking C—Christ,” Eddie stuttered, his hips rutting into the couch faster. “Keep going.”

“Then it was me you were fucking. You grabbed me by the hair, so I could watch what you were doing to me,” you said, your voice shaking with every word. “Eddie, please. I’m close. Please.”

“Come on, baby. You can do it. Tell me what I was doing to you.” He was past dreaming at this point. He was sure this was heaven. Hearing your words had him reeling. He didn’t want to stop, didn't know how to stop. He just knew he needed to see you come.

Your lip trembled. “Your hands were all over me, playing with my tits, your lips on my neck, and—and your big cock pounding into me over and oh-ver and—and Fuck! Eddie, don’t stop! Please, please, please!”

Your orgasm crashed down on you, expletives and Eddie’s name on your lips. Eddie continued to pump his fingers in and out of you like a madman as he lapped up your cum.

“Oh god, oh fuck!” he moaned against you.

You pushed his head off of you and caught your breath. Eddie took a breath, too, leaning back against his heels. You pulled him back up to you and kissed him, tasting yourself on your lips.

“That… was so hot,” Eddie said, releasing a breath.

“Can it be my turn to help you?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

Eddie’s cheeks rouged slightly, his eyes trailing to the growing wet spot on his jeans. “I had a turn already,” he said, guilt painting his words. He leaned in toward you, a devilish smirk joining his features. “But I’m not done with you. Not yet.”

[majorbitchwillgraham]

Just discovered my (platonic) crush from highschool, a guy, solves problems in his sleep, in his dreams 😭 that guy was the best thing ever for me lol

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO - teaser

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 433 (teaser); 8.8k (full fic)

release date: june 3rd

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit; only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band, ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he bad been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

...

a/n: lol sorry for how abrupt the teaser is, i wasn't sure how to cut it</3

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

[wolftoken]

bunny • vessel x reader x iv

a/n: i slept like 4 hours last night, im sick, but at least i have smut. i also made bread. i don’t think i’ve written a threesome fic before so im sorry if this is awful lol

word count: 1667 • tags: gender neutral reader, reader has the petname ‘bunny,’ threesome, unprotected sex, oral sex, creampie, face fucking, deepthroating, praise, rough sex, edging, dom vessel, sub reader, sub iv

• masterlist •

you felt pretty exposed like this, fully naked on all fours with your resting on Vessel’s lap, who sat in a plush chair in front of you.

“you look so perfect for us, bunny,” Vessel’s soft voice interrupted your thoughts and you felt his hand come down to cup your cheek. he was always so soft with you, physically and with his words. he stroked your cheekbones with his thumb and grinned down at you excitedly, momentarily forgetting the other figure in the room.

you felt IV come up behind you, his hands coming to rest on your hips. he was fully naked and fully hard, his dick poking up against your tummy which made you both shiver in anticipation. the two men looked at each other, and you wondered what they were thinking. Vessel felt you press your face on his thigh impatiently and brought his gaze back down to you, taking a deep breath before he gently sat you upwards.

lifting his hips up off his chair, Vessel slid his boxers off to reveal his hard and aching cock that had already started dripping for you both. he was so excited to do this with the two of you, but neither of you could match IV’s eagerness to get started. he loved to be in charge of your pleasure while also taking orders from Vessel.

“go ahead, pretty boy. fuck our little bunny,” Vessel barked at IV while stroking his hand slowly over his leaking cock. your mouth watered at the sight and you so desperately wanted to slide your tongue over his tip but every thought seemed to vacate your mind as soon as you felt IV’s dick slowly sinking into you.

he was thick, and it burned slightly before the pain turned into overwhelming pleasure. of course they’d prepped you before hand but it was always a struggle to take the guitarist’s cock for the first few moments. shuddering at the feeling of you so tight and warm around him, his breaths quickened slightly as he awaited Vessel’s permission to begin fucking you. you couldn’t see, but he was staring up at the man with those pleading eyes that Vessel loved to see.

redirecting your attention to his own cock, Vessel took your chin in his hand and pressed his thumb into your mouth. wordlessly, you sucked on the digit, eagerly awaiting for it to be replaced with something bigger. the singer groaned at the sight of you, stretched out on his friend’s dick and sucking on his fingers.

“you have no idea how perfect you are, pretty thing. now open wide for me, yeah, that’s good-“ Vessel had to pause when your tongue rolled out to taste his dripping tip, trying to focus on keeping steady so you could take him into your mouth. you heard IV whine behind you, surely straining to keep himself back, too. to have both men like this, naked and staring at you like you’re the only thing in the world, it excited you beyond belief. you wanted to make them feel good, you wanted to make them proud, so you took as much of Vessel into your mouth as possible and pushed back on IV’s aching cock at the same time.

a symphony of moans filled the room as the three of you began to get lost in each other. you whimpered around Vessel which caused him to grab a hold of your hair for leverage so he could thrust up into your mouth. he didn’t go to far or fast just yet, preferring to enjoy what you were giving him in the moment. however, IV was quick to tighten his hold on your hips with an almost bruising force and shove his cock as deep inside of you as he can get it.

IV is the kind of guy to fuck you however you want, slow or fast, rough or soft, as long as he gets to be deep inside you. he swears the feeling of being buried to the hilt is the closest he’ll ever get to heaven.

he’s he swearing under his breath and so entranced at the feeling of you he almost forgets what Vessel had told him earlier. that is, until, Vessel takes it upon himself to remind his guitarist of their agreement.

“IV, you remember what i told you, fuck- what i told you before this? huh?”

the man only looked into Vessel’s eyes with desperate hunger, keeping up his erratic pace.

“you only get to cum after i do. you’re gonna keep fucking our pretty bunny just how they like it but you’re gonna keep control of yourself. can you do that or do i have to make you?” Vessel asks, an edge of ferocity in his tone but you both know it’s only because IV likes it that way.

“fuck, Vessel, i can- ahh, i can do it. please let me do it!” he begs, beginning to slow down his thrusts as he calms himself down.

“good boy. now bunny,” Vessel paused to take your jaw in one hand and your hair in the other, “think you can take all of me? wanna feel me fill up your throat?”

you can only nod with pleading eyes as he smiles softly at you, taking his dick in his hand and guiding the tip to your lips. you think he’s going to go straight into fucking your face but he drags the leaking tip across your lips, watching his hooded eyes as his precum glistens on them like lipgloss.

“so pretty, yeah? let me ruin you.”

you don’t have much warning before he’s shoved past your lips and down your throat. it’s nothing you haven’t taken before but it’s a feeling you’re still getting used to. you do your best to lick along him but he lets you know it’s easier for you to just relax and take it like a good little toy.

feeling IV’s hands smooth up your spine, you squeeze around him just to hear the breathy groan he lets out for you. you know he loves this, having Vessel tell him what to do while he fucks your face relentlessly.

“you’re making us feel so fucking good, baby. shit, i cant take this much longer,” IV whines, and you appreciate he’s taking the time to sing your praises in his current state of desperation. you can feel Vessel getting closer, the way his thighs tremble under your hands and his ragged breathing let you know it wont be long until he’s painting your throat with his cum.

you let out a high pitched moan that reverberates into Vessel’s cock, making him let out something akin to a growl as he holds your face flush against his pelvis, burying himself as deep as he can go. you feel his cum fill your throat as he twitches inside you. both your chests are heaving when he pulls out, smiling fondly at your tear stricken face and beautiful shining eyes looking up at him when you swallow. taking your face in his hands he leans down to press lazy kisses to the top of your head.

“you’re so perfect, our little bunny taking us so well. you think IV’s just about ready to burst, hmm?” he teases, directing his heady gaze to the man gripping your hips intensely. he’s still awaiting permission, but also waiting for you to recover from Vessel’s ministration. resting your head on one of Vessel’s soft thighs, you push back on IV and clench around him again. the singer only chucked darkly and nods at IV, bringing a hand to rest on your head to brush stray strands of hair out of your eyes.

more desperate than you’ve ever felt him, the guitarist picks up his pace to fuck you as hard as he’s been wanting to all night. all day, really. you’re all he could think about and now he finally gets to have you the way he wants he’s not wasting any time. he’s still sweet to you, though, stroking his strong hands up and down your back and praising you between sharp breaths and whined expletives. you look back up to Vessel, who’s already got his eyes on you. grinning wickedly, he looks back up to IV to give him one last order.

“hey pretty boy, why don’t you play with our bunny, hmm? make them cum nice and hard around you. you’d like that, sweetheart, right?” Vessel asks both of you but IV doesn’t need to be persuaded. his hands practically flies down to stroke at you, focusing on getting you to feel as good as he does. spurred on by your pretty noises, his perfect fingers find a rhythm that has you seeing stars and twitching wildly against your lovers. you whine in sync with him, your thighs tensing up as he gets you closer to your peak and you don’t even have to capacity to warn him before the dam breaks and you squeeze his cock and paint his fingers with your cum. leaning over you now, he has an arm around your waist and he’s going thank you thank you thank you but if it’s to you or to Vessel you have no idea. with a loud groan he slams his hips into yours and cums deep inside you, his pelvis stuttering and legs shaking as he fucks his cum into you until you’re both whimpering from the over-sensitivity.

Vessel slides down from his chair to join the two of you on the floor, leaning your body against his while IV hugs your waist.

“my perfect little bunnies, you’ve worn each other out. lets get cleaned up and head to bed,” he says, pressing kisses to both your heads as his soft hands run over your back and IV’s hair. neither of you make any attempt to move and Vessel can only smile affectionately at the sight of you both.

he could probably carry both of you, right?

[doodle-pops]

Modern AU: Sugar Daddy | My Sugar Daddy Loves Me

Headcanon: Maglor, Finrod, Ecthelion, Thingol, Elrond

Request: Hi Mina I hope you doing well could you please write a part 2 of your sugar daddy au? With Ecthelion, Maglor, Finrod, Elrond and Maeglin - Anon

A/N: Not gonna lie, I had a hard time envisioning Finrod as a sugar daddy since I link those who are Daddy/DILF material as a sugar daddy. He seemed so aloof as a sugar daddy and more like Friends with Benefits lol.

Warnings: a female-focused reader, smut, breeding/creampies

➽ Part 1 | Part 2

➽ Modern AU Series

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. Maglor

➽ He’s a world-renowned pop star who is beloved by everyone, and you are his lovely darling he met during a backstage meet and greet when he slipped his number into your back pocket and whispered, ‘Call me.’

➽ Of course you called him because that’s how you receive gifts on your doorstep after every performance he has, world tours, or when his albums go platinum. You are the mysterious lover that his fans talk about because of paparazzi.

➽ For the most of your dynamic shared with him, you are kept a secret because, to him, it makes everything more thrilling. All those posts of him on vacation or tours with snips of your hands, legs or back, or the albums being written about you, make everything invigorating.

➽ On the days when he does return from touring, you are showered in affection abundantly. Necklaces and anklets with your name or his name, dozens of roses, lingerie, the latest fashion wear, a lump sum of money floating into your account and some days between the sheets.

➽ Plus, that pretty black credit card in your back pocket feels incredibly heavy with all the financial opportunities it’s allowing you to make. It doesn’t bother him with you swipe his card to make your purchases because he has lots of trust in you (please don’t rob him).

➽ The dynamic between you both differs from the others who would reward you for excelling at your job or studies. With Maglor, he’ll reward you for being silent as he takes you in the recording booth during breaks, support him during his concerts, and when he wins awards.

➽ Apart from dropping all the materialistic gifts on you, Maglor takes him time to worship you from head to toe. You are, after all, the inspiration behind his best-selling albums, and he has inserted your moans as background vocals on some of his songs.

➽ A passion lover you got as a sugar daddy with an oral fixation (best his mouth). He has to show you how talented those lips are; singing isn’t all that he can do with his tongue. Plus, he’s also a guitarist, so let the realisation sink in with those fingers.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. Finrod

➽ Right off the bat, his type of sugar daddy isn’t for pleasure purposes and it’s the last reason why he was willing to care for you. He just wants someone to spoil and spend lots of time with because he’s rich and lonely in his mansion.

➽ Being spoilt is something you never have to question because he’s eager to be your sugar daddy even though he doesn’t consider himself as one. He’ll just tell you that he’s a good friend helping another friend out while handing you his unlimited credit card and a bunch of gifts.

➽ The adventurous type to call you up in the middle of the night and TELL you that he already booked you all a flight a trip to a tropical island for two weeks filled with various fun activities. The idea that you have classes or work tomorrow doesn’t sink in until you’re reminding him.

➽ It’s a frequent occurrence with him visiting/calling at early hours to check out new places in the city or for you to come over because his giant house is lonely. At some point, you are living in with him and all the maids have become familiar with you.

➽ If you’re a college student, you are funded, and yes, he does have an interest in your academics. However, he’s a lot more understanding if you fail a course because he’s the reason (making you miss classes with those trips); he might suggest dropping out and letting him permanently care for you because he can also get you a decent job without a degree.

➽ As I mentioned, pleasure isn’t something Finrod is interested in during the agreement. That’s something you would have to initiate one night as you’re relaxing in bed or returning from dinner. Take the lead and make him rethink his agreement to incorporate it often and scrap the ‘friends’ talk.

➽ He isn’t someone who becomes stressed, so if anything, you’re the one who’s getting the rough sex when you’re stressed. He is happy to help because if you’re keeping him company, he has to return the favour with an open mind. And trust me when I say, he’s good at what he does but acts casual as if he didn’t strip away your ability to walk.

➽ At least your time being his sugar baby will be fun and filled with excitement, something that outshines the finances and pleasure he blesses you with. His desire for companionship helps to make the dynamic between you two worthwhile.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. Ecthelion

➽ Responsible for marketing some of the most valuable gemstones around the world; mostly invested in the diamond stock market. The first time you met him and stepped into his house, you noticed how much he was obsessed with the gemstone. You don’t complain because it’s what he gifts you whenever you perform well for him.

➽ He covers all your tuition expenses and living commodities and gives you one of his unlimited credit cards to shop for your heart's desires. In return, you must bring home good grades (he’ll tell you what’s good) and keep up your good reputation. He doesn’t want you to ever tarnish your reputation.

➽ Ecthelion is wealthy and educated, so he doesn’t mind getting involved and invested in your field of work or degree program. Depending on what it is, he’ll extend his knowledge, but if he doesn’t know, he’ll make attempts to get you good connections to boost your career.

➽ So long as you maintain your good grades and reputation, you’re in it for life. He’s taking you vacations to tropical islands, opera shows, shopping sprees, buying you the most expensive jewellery sets and clothes. You will be rocking the best designer clothes, Ecthelion isn’t standing for you wearing simple clothes.

➽ Of course, when you perform excellently for him, he will return the favour with more than just trips and money. He established in the beginning that he was seeking companionship during your deal, and as much as he wanted to keep things professional, something about the red lipstick you adore wearing sucked him in.

➽ Perhaps allowing you to give him a blowjob under the table in his office during a quick visit and leaving lipstick smeared all over his cock made him change his mind about keeping things professional. He was pleased when you agreed to make the relationship more intimate than hugs and kisses.

➽ He wastes no time whenever he’s stressed to relieve himself through you (with your consent). You’re his little stress reliever, and in return, Ecthelion doesn’t mind letting you use him to beat your stress. Sex is rough and steamy between you both. You are getting bent over countertops, work desk, pressed against the wall, he’s hungry beneath his professional demeanour.

➽ While he is a formal and sophisticated gentleman, and he would not touch you inappropriately in public, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t purchase you vibrator panties and plugs. You’re sitting beside him during a conference meeting and he’s causally playing with the speed on his phone, making you cum.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. Thingol

➽ This sugar daddy is drifting over to the DILF side of things and do not be fooled by his silver hair, he isn’t old, he’s simply trendy and into the latest fashion styles. Giovani, Armani, Dior, Marco Polo, Ralph Lauren and the list goes on. Thingol is an old-money type of sugar daddy, and he adores showing off his wealth to you.

➽ To be honest, Thingol really want to be your sugar daddy because he saw you and liked you. At the time, you were a broke college student or young worker struggling in the business world who used the opportunity he was providing to build your career and status.

➽ Thingol doesn’t care about all that (at first), but he does ensure all your needs and desires are met. Tuitions paid, loans cleared, no negative credit score or empty bank account. You’re the rich student on campus or your job that everyone is jealous of because he makes sure the world knows you’re spoilt by rolling up in some custom Rolls Royce or Bently.

➽ Your unlimited credit cards weigh a ton in your pocket, but who cares because you’re rich and being pampered as you deserve? Of course, nothing in life comes for free and without payment. Thingol might carry some age because he has a fully grown child, but he isn’t old.

➽ He makes it clear that he would enjoy being intimate and seeking companionship in return for the wealth spent on you. Do you decline, of course not (you can’t, or you’ll end up poor again).

➽ Thingol is the definition of old is the new young. This man has the stamina to last for a lifetime and makes sure you’re always satisfied. He can be stingy and demand that you give him more attention (he’s a receiver more than a giver). You’ll have to catch him in the right mood for him to be on the giving end.

➽ But still, you can’t complain because you’re getting good dic—. Anyway speaking of spoiling you, he adores whenever you’re completely decked out in lingerie for him, i.e. just all the jewellery he bought for you and nothing else.

➽ He does have a slight breeding kink, but it isn’t intending to want children, so you have nothing to worry about. Thingol just enjoys the sight of prettying his sugar baby.

➽ Know that he’ll gift you some necklace or ring that informs everyone that you’re his and no one else’s. If you ask him if it means he’s proposing, he’ll reply with something along the lines of, “You’re already mine princess, wedding ring or not.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. Elrond

➽ DILF number three and it makes perfect sense since he’s a descendant of many DILFs (Fingolfin, Turgon, Thingol). But Elrond doesn’t mind being someone’s sugar daddy, though his intentions are more for genuine purposes. If you want more, you’re gonna have to do all the work to show him that it’s more than paying your tuition and giving you money.

➽ Nevertheless, he covers all your expenses and demands that you perform excellently in your field of study or job. Elrond would even go out of his way to personally teach you (and no, I don’t mean bending you over the desk type of teaching) to ensure success is at your fingertips.

➽ This man is the most passionate and dedicated sugar daddy who cares about your well-being to a great extent. He’s well-rounded, so he’s fulfilling all your needs and wants, health, education, finances, basic commodities and living expenses. Please don’t disappoint him by failing your classes, he’s pulling all his money into the best tutors.

➽ In return for your devotion and passion for excellence, you are getting spoiled but not like the others. Elrond doesn’t mind giving you money or taking you on shopping sprees or trips around the world, he simply doesn’t want you dependent dependent on him to always provide since he’s building you up to become your own boss and financially secure.

➽ He’ll spoil, but not to that extent. Such a philosophical man, teaching all about life and how to be independent and headstrong.

➽ Now, as I’ve previously mentioned, if you want him to take you to bed, impressions are everything. Elrond’s the type to get impressed by your sense of elegance, sophistication and linguistics. Show him how skilled your tongue is, and he’ll be wanting more. No doubt he’s rewriting the contract in his mind.

➽ He has kids and knows how to ramp in between the sheets. In his state, he probably isn’t interested in more given his desire for companionship, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be giving out creampies. The sight of it is his catalyst for wanting to give you more and keep you up all night.

➽ He’s a gentleman in the streets and will incapacitate you in the sheets. Tricks up his sleeves despite having an old fashion appeal about him. Give him a dance dressed in some pretty lingerie—nothing overly fancy, he likes elegance and simplicity—while he sips on whisky or brandy in a button-down shirt and his tie lazily discarded around his neck.

➽ Treat him well because running multiple companies is tiring, so relieve his stress while he relieves yours and you’ll be the happiest sugar baby ever.

Masterlist

Taglist: @lilmelily @ranhanabi777 @mysticmoomin @rain-on-my-umbrella @asianbutnotjapanese @batsyforyou @ladyenchanted @mcwentfandomtraveling @involuntaryspasms @aconstructofamind @addaigio

If you would like to be tagged, click the taglist link.

[calp0sa]

Favorite Headcanons for airy?

i have like 10 million headcanons for him but i’ll list as many as i can from the top of my head

-hes autistic LIKE ME!!! and is specifically very autistic about music (like meee) i like to think he had a huge collection of vinyls cds cassettes etc and its all stuff from the 60s to the early 90s. no doubt he had a bunch of posters for his favorite bands and musicians too. and hes awesome on the guitar, great rhythm guitarist… its a shame he couldn’t make his talent a profession like he once dreamed of doing. oh well, at least the number 1 perk of trucking is that its peaceful and you dont really have to interact with many people! plus trucks have radios, and cd players, so airy would often bring along a few albums to listen to as he drove those long days and nights.

-hes also got a knack for aquatic creatures (LIKE ME) of course, being a literal fish monster himself (cool fact my airy design is like actually a fish monster he can breathe underwater and everything and his limbs are covered in fish scales) airy loves fish both as friends and food. hes particularly fond of freshwater fish, which makes sense considering the fact he grew up around the swamps of louisiana (yes im making him louisianan Like Me shaddap) hes also fond of those fucked up looking deep sea creatures, just so fascinating. i think airy liked to do a little fishing in his spare time. And hes awesome at cooking em but fair warning for those with a low spice tolerance… he loves spicy food btw (like meeeee)

-when airy was in the forest, he kept a log of his thoughts on the computer, in an attempt to hopefully give himself whatever clarity he could. the notes ranged from all brief, to desperate, to hopeless, to spiraling, to borderline dadaist poetry? to insanity, to denial, to whatever, really i think his mind was obviously all over the place on a daily basis. things must have been pretty loud for him, that cassette player was probably one of the only things keeping him together, before he numbed himself n all, which is around the time he ceased writing these notes as he saw no point in doing so.

-ok enough about him suffering we’ll get back to that later Airy’s favorite drink is ginger ale i mean look at that guy and tell me he doesnt fw ginger ale or dr pepper are you kidding me. he can have dr pepper as a little treat (too much soda is bad for anyone especially if youre an old feller like airy) speaking of little treats i like to think he has an insatiable sweet tooth LIKE MEEEE and his favorite treaaats are pumpkin pie, macarons and practically anything chocolate he loves chocolate (im like allergic to not projecting onto my favorite characters if you couldnt tell) maybe airy knows how to bake a little bit i mean he is an object show host after all

-this is oddly specific but airy is a chronic pain warrior #JUSTLIKEME so when he was in the forest he’d make like home made heating pads by wetting a glob of moss and putting it against his face while he had his flame on (he sometimes put it on a plank over a bonfire if he felt like it) this was a bit tricky when he broke his face but im sure he managed he always manages (kinda) (relatively speaking)

-well anyway we’re back to the forest and i just mentioned his broken face So you know how he disappeared for seven months after he did that lol well what if it was because the pain and shock from that incident evoked the long lost clarity he’d been so stubbornly avoiding in order to cling on to his meaningless, fallacious escapism which triggered him and sent him into a state of agonizing self consciousness, reminding him of his earthly death, how he used to be Someone, and how he essentially let himself rot into what is now an empty shell of who he once was. after so many years, the first reflection he saw of himself was seen in something broken; shards of glass, of which he couldn’t stand to look at… as there is nothing comparable to the pain of revelation, the burden of truth after having been so lost and festered into the stagnant waters that surround you. he felt he had no choice, he disposed of the shards into the nearby stream. those seven months were not just a matter of physically healing, but as a means to losing himself all over again.

-Aaaanyway i think airy had a cat at some point in his life i think we can all agree hes a cat person right!!! he had a tortoiseshell kitty named goose and he loved her very much. idk why he named her goose he probably just thought it was funny to name an animal after a different animal.

-OH YEAH lemme bring amelia into this listen i am such a huge fan of the theory of airy being related to amelia so i like to think hes her uncle!! when amelia was little she’d stay over at airy’s house while her parents were away and he’d teach her stuff like how to fish, how to ward off snakes, how to kayak, all that jazz cuz he was an awesome uncle. she was kinda like an actual daughter to him. and amelia was so fond of sunny weather as a child, one dayy at airy’s house she had to stay inside because it was too rainy, so she occupied herself by drawing a little picture of the way she wished earth was; always sunny, sky always blue, grass always green, huh! the way she drew that grass as individual little triangles is all too familiar is it not…

OK I HAVE SOMEWHERE 2 GO now i’ll probablt add more later But thank u so much for asking this i love love love infodumping about anything airy related i heart airy

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

can you write a slash fic where reader is usually all sunshine and rainbows, but her facade begins to crack and he realizes just how bad her depression is so he comfort her and just helps her do the little things like basic hygiene? <3

A/n: Love this request, loved writing it, I don't know what you're going through right now but I hope you feel better soon, I can't really do anything as a stranger over the internet but I hope this can help you feel a little better lol <3

Warnings: Angst, depression, that's all I think it's just a lot of fluff, Slash and reader have a shower together but it's not sexual.

You tried your best not to let others know you were suffering, you didn’t want them to be burdened with your own struggles so you kept it quiet. Of course your bandmates knew you weren’t ok, they tried to help you when they could but they had their own things going on.

Last summer your band opened on a short tour for Guns N’ Roses, one of your personal favourite bands. While you were with them you got pretty close to their lead guitarist, Saul Hudson, though everyone just called him Slash. Even so, you enjoyed the nickname Sauly instead, it was cute and annoyed him so it was perfect.

When you got back from the tour you realised you didn’t actually live all too far from animal lover, this led to you visiting him whenever you felt. Slash didn’t mind one bit, you guys would just sit together in a comfortable silence and it was great. You’d watch movies together, you’d cook for his incompetent ass more than you’d like to admit. You two were happy with your little arrangement.

However, this was all just a distraction from what was going on within your band. You weren’t entirely sure what happened since it didn’t directly involve you but you knew your bandmates were arguing an awful lot. Everyone within and surrounding the band knew you guys were about to break up, it was inevitable at this point. You knew, your friends knew, Slash knew.

All of the fights, disagreements and nosy people wanting the freshest gossip was detrimental for your mental health and you stopped visiting Saul. It started out as coming by every day, then every other day, then once a week if you were lucky until you just stopped coming by all together. You hadn’t left your house in almost a month, you’d barely gotten off the couch even with the only exceptions being to go to the bathroom or get more snacks from the kitchen. Quite frankly, you were running out of food that hadn’t spoiled.

Your doorbell rang and waited for whoever it was to leave. Instead of letting them walk away your house was filled with the doorbell ringing repeatedly and loud banging on the door. You could’ve sworn your whole house was shaking.

When the noise persisted you got up, taking your blankets with you, and answered the door. Slash stood before you looking completely panicked. His eyes were wide and he sported a small pout. When he registered that you had opened the door and were now in front of him he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him.

“I thought you fucking died.” He mumbled, shoving his face into your hair and kissing the top of your head. He pulled away enough to look you up and down, taking in your deteriorating state. The bags under your eyes, your slowly hollowing cheeks. Matted hair and dry lips. You were a corpse. “Did you die?” He asked, tilting your head up to look at him.

You turned and walked back to your couch, flopping over and curling in on yourself. Slash watched as you did this, standing idly at your front door.

He walked in and closed the door behind him, now taking in the state of your house. It wasn’t a mess but you didn’t clean so everything was covered with a thick layer of dust. “Fucking Christ.” Slash muttered. He came over and crouched beside you on the couch. “Are you ok?” He asked, tucking a few wiry strands of your hair behind your ear.

“Go away.” You mumbled, hiding yourself further under your blankets.

“Fuck that, answer me, are you ok?” He repeated in a sterner tone. You didn’t respond. Saul took a deep breath and glanced around the room, thinking through his options. “Ok, um... ok, how about we start with a shower?” You shook your head. “It’s ok, I’ll be right there with you.” He gave you a moment before he stood up. “Come on, let’s go have a shower.” He waited another moment before he took you into his arms and pulled you up, holding you to keep you standing.

Slash walked you to your bathroom. He let you lean against the counter while he turned the water on, getting it to the right temperature. When he turned around you were curled up on the ground. He sat down with you and held you to his side. “You need to stand.” He said, his voice soft. “Please, can you stand for me?” He nuzzled his face against yours.

Again he waited a moment for you. Slash stood and walked out of the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a change of clothes for you. Something comfortable that you could wear out of the house. He set the stack of clothes on the counter and crouched in front of you. “I’ll get in with you, I’ll help you get cleaned up and stuff and then we can go out.” He explained to you how he wanted the day to go.

“I-I don’t want to.” You said, your voice no louder than a whisper. Slash rolled his eyes.

“Want to or not, you're doing it.” He took the blanket off of you with minimal effort, you didn’t have the energy to keep hold of it so it practically just slid off when he reached for it. Saul picked you up like a cat, holding you under your arms. “Lean on me, would you?” You did just that, lazily wrapping your arms around him and leaning on him, your head resting on his shoulder.

Slash helped you out of your clothes. You tried to help but not hard, part of you was still hoping that he would just give up on this and let you go back to your couch. He didn’t.

Once you were ready to get in the shower he stripped and got in. He held the curtain open, waiting for you to come in with him. “It’s just water.” He stated, looking up at the shower head. You stood there a moment longer before stepping in. Slash held you from behind for support.

You got used to the warm water hitting your skin. Slash started lathering you with soap, being careful around your more sensitive parts to make this more comfortable for you. When he started washing your hair he’d scratch your scalp and massage the shampoo and then conditioner into your hair. He made sure to be careful when washing it out of your hair, not wanting to get anything in your eyes.

“Are you ready to get out?” He asked, leaning down to your ear. You shook your head.

“A few more minutes.” Slash chuckled but happily stayed in the shower with you. Still holding you close he rocked you from side to side, kissing your cheek occasionally. You knew you had to get out of the shower eventually but you just wanted to stay here with him. “Thank you.” You mumbled, holding his hands as they rested on your stomach.

“It’s my job to take care of you.” He said.

“It’s not though, you didn’t have to come by.” You told him.

“Bullshit, you’re fucking mine and I take care of my things.”

[otherone12]

Hi, I'm obsessed with the way you write your stories and I'd like to ask for a request, it's the first time I've done one but I love your stories. I'd like to ask you for one about basement gee x reader (the plot doesn't matter) but I'd like something smut (of course one where both are of legal age) but I'd like to see gerard as someone who is geeky and is in love (somewhat sickly) with the reader

I'm sorry if it's weird, and also English is not my first language so I'm sorry if the wording of the message is bad.

I’m Awkward, Not Dangerous!

Basement!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

Hi!!! Omg, I'm glad you like my fics <3 !!! And also thanks for requesting!! I really loved the idea!! Well, I tried to make his nerdy side very visible, mainly by making him very weird in terms of social relationships and some geek references along in the story. Ngl, I had to write this one like three times, 'cause was never good enought, but I think it's nice now lol. I hope you like it! (If it turned out too different from what you imagined, let me know and I'll try to fix it :) )

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: It suppoused to be another day, but things turned a different when Gerard invite you to watch a movie in his basement, let's just say he REALLY likes you, and you discovered this in the creepy way possible. (I'm terrible at writing summaries)

- Word Count: 3.000

- Warnings: afab SMUT, awkward gerard.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

School sucks, our senior year was supposed to be a little funnier, right? Unfortunately, that's not what's happening, but it's infinitely better when they're with me.

Sometimes we spent entire periods outside the classroom, just chatting about anything and listening to our favorite bands, while we smoke behind the bleachers.

This was another one of those afternoons, where one less math lesson didn't make any difference, and it seemed much more interesting to hear Frank make jokes about someone's clothes. Followed by Mikey update us on the latest gigs in town, or Ray making insightful comments on every topic that comes up.

Sometimes, Gerard talks about the backstories of the heroes he created, so we spend hours thinking of outfits and some scenes that might be cool. Is really cute when he gets all excited talking about things he likes.

After a while, the conversation starts to wind down. Frank is scrolling through his phone, muttering something about needing to practice with his band. Mikey checks the time and mentions that his work shift was going to start. Ray says he has to study for some test he has tomorrow, and heads out first, leaving the rest of us behind with a lazy wave.

- Guess that’s it for me, folks. - Frank said, getting up - if I miss one more essay they'll look for another guitarist.

- I think I'll go too - Mikey stubbed out his cigarette and picked up his backpack, making his way to the video store - but I'll probably be home by 9pm… maybe later if Pete and I go drink something after the shift.

Within minutes, it’s just Gerard and I.

He’s sitting a little awkwardly, tucking strands of hair behind the ear, like he’s waiting for the right moment to say something. It’s sweet how shy he gets sometimes, especially when the others aren’t around to drown out the silence. There’s always something a little different about him when it’s just the two of us.

- So, uh…- He cleared his throat. - Do you... wanna come over? I was gonna watch that new horror movie I told you about. The really bad one with the cheesy practical effects…

His voice was low, and he blinked with his beautiful hazel eyes, pleading. After a few seconds, he gave a shy, hopeful smile.

- I mean, only if you’re not busy or anything…

- Nope, I’m totally free. - I smiled at him, excited to watch the movie with him.

The walk to Gerard’s house is filled with easy conversation. He talks about the movie, rambling about the director’s other films, his company was really nice, actually. Every now and then, my shoulder brushes his, and I swear I catch him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. Wasn’t something bothering, but it’s kinda… weird?

When we finally reach Gerard’s place, he fumbled with his keys at the front door, a little too eager.

- My parents aren’t home… - He said, being a bit surprised - Well, I'm gonna fix the things in my room in the basement… Can you wait a minute?

he scratched the back of his neck, apparently nervous, so I let out a smile in an attempt to comfort him. I understand that since we hadn't arranged it beforehand, he didn't have time to prepare or anything.

- Sure!

- I’ll be right back - Gerard rushed to his basement, and I stayed in the living room of Way’s house.

Looking around, I saw family pictures, some paints on the wall, books, a pretty carpet… It was a pretty house. Wasn’t long before Gerard returned from the basement, nodding and beckoning me to follow.

Wasn’t the first time I went to his basement, but I was never alone with him.

It’s cluttered but cozy, just like the other times: comics spread out on his bed, action figures on shelves, and posters of old movies plastered along the walls. His bed was covered with a batman sheet, and he gestures toward it with an awkward smile.

- Make yourself comfortable. - Again, he rushed away, going to the kitchen - I’ll grab drinks.

I sat down, noticing the little details scattered everywhere. He even has a stack of DVDs, just waiting to be watched. It’s easy to see how much of himself Gerard has poured into this space, and somehow, that makes it feel intimate.

He came back with two cans of soda, handing me one as he flops onto the bed beside me. His knee bumped into mine, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he pressed play on the remote, the movie starting with a dramatic, over-the-top horror intro.

As the lights dim and the movie flickers to life, I notice Gerard sneaking a glance my way. It’s quick, like he’s checking to see if I’m still there or if I’ve evaporated into thin air. He shifted in his seat, awkwardly pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands.

I tried to focus on the screen, I really do, but out of nowhere, his hand brushes against mine. It was kind of an accidental touch, my heart raced, but I didn’t move it.

After some seconds of just the sound of the movie filling the room, Gerard cleaned his throat and took a deep breath, like he was trying to take courage to say something.

- Y’know… - I turned my attention to him - I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.

I Glance at him, and he’s looking at the TV like he’s afraid it might explode if he makes eye contact with me.

- Do what? - I asked, trying not to sound as jittery as I feel.

- Uh... spend time with just you. - He scratched the back of his neck, and his gaze moved from the tv to me.

I didn’t know what to say, so I defaulted to my nervous habit, fiddling with my bracelet, twisting it around my wrist like it holds the answer to every awkward situation. Gerard noticed, of course, because apparently, he has a PhD in Me Studies.

- You don’t have to be nervous, sugar.

“Sugar”? He never called me that way before. But he kept talking, like it wasn’t a big deal. I did not protest, I actually kinda liked it.

- You always mess with that bracelet when you’re nervous. - He said like it was something obvious - It’s... kinda cute.

I shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, only to realize: Gerard isn’t watching the movie. He’s watching me. And he’s terrible at being subtle about it.

Before I can process what’s happening, he slips his hand into mine, like a middle-schooler figuring out how to hold hands for the first time. His palm is warm, a little sweaty, okay, a lot of sweat, but weirdly... I didn’t mind.

It wasn't as if I didn't like him, maybe I really liked him too, I'd just never thought about it before. Back to the movie, my mind was filled with a million other things to think about, so I couldn't even focus on looking at the screen. My gaze traveled around the room, but something caught my eye: a small, familiar notebook lying half-tucked beneath a pile of DVDs on the coffee table really close to his bed.

The same notebook Gerard always carries with him at school, the one he’s always scribbling in during lunch or between classes. I couldn’t help myself to take advantage of Gerard's distraction, and I flipped it open. 

My eyes went wide and my heart skipped a beat when I saw what was inside that notebook. Pages and pages of photos of me. Some printed, others cut out from old Polaroids. All of them are candid shots, taken without my knowledge. There’s one of me smoking behind the bleachers, another of me laughing with Mikey, and several from school, walking to class, sitting at my desk, leaning against my locker.

Each one is accompanied by small, scribbled notes in Gerard’s messy handwriting. Things like “She looks so pretty here.” or “I wish this was just the two of us.” … Along with sketches of portraits, pieces of comics that meant something in our “relationship”. There were sketches of us together, drawn in different comic styles, one of us as Jedi, another as superheroes, and even one as cartoon vampires, all accompanied by little speech bubbles with inside jokes.

Every page flipped, I got even more shocked about the large amount of content he has there. Things from years ago, and the last things were from the last days.

- Hey... What are you looking at? - His voice is soft, but there’s an edge to it now, a note of panic creeping in.

I glance up to see Gerard frozen in place, his hazel eyes wide with fear as he notices the notebook in your hands.

- W-where did you…? - He mumbled, turning bright red, embarrassed - Uh... I can explain! Wait, no, I mean- don't freak out... It’s... okay, it looks bad, but it’s not that bad.

He let go from my hand and got up, rubbing his hands together nervously. he began to pant, and his countenance indicated that he was desperately looking for an excuse.

- Well, it is exactly what it looks like! - I yell, turning back to the notebook, still shocked, analyzing every page.

He turned around, rubbing one of his hands over his face in a messy motion. Before long, he began to walk around the room in circles, while his shaky voice continued to speak.

- Oh God, I’m gonna die. Yep. This is how I die. - he murmured to himself, before facing me again - Just bury me under these comics.

Before i could say anything, he blurts:

- Okay, look… it’s not like I’m a total creep, okay? I-I just... thought you looked cool... like, really cool, and, um - The words rushed out of his mouth, as if he had stopped thinking and was just throwing anything to ease the situation -… okay, I might have taken some pictures without asking… b-but it’s not like ‘weird’ weird! It’s... more... uh... admiration?

I couldn't hide my look of confusion. At the same time as I wanted to get out of there, I didn't want to. It was obviously strange, but at the same time it was adorable the way he noticed me. The things he wrote in that notebook said so much more than I could have imagined he felt. Not giving me time to think about what to say, he kept going.

- I thought, y'know, maybe if I... cataloged- no, wait, bad word… uh, recorded...? - He groans - I swear I sound less creepy in my head.

- Look, I was gonna tell you... - He insists, fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. - I mean, not like this, obviously. 

He catched my confused expression and groans again.

-Ugh, you probably think I’m a total loser now.

The more he spoke, the less frightening the situation became and the cuter he seemed to me. So I stood up, in a failed attempt to calm him down, but the result was the complete opposite.

- Wait! Please don’t go. I-I know this is... a lot. But I promise I’m not some psycho. - He pauses, then adds, - Like, I’m awkward, not dangerous! 

I don't know where that feeling came from. Maybe it's always been there. I wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him that it was fine, that I knew he wasn’t a psycho. 

 - Okay, okay! I know I’m weird, but... don’t leave me hanging here. Please. I really... like you. - the statement caught me off guard. it's not as if it wasn't obvious, but I wasn't prepared.  -  Like, more than I ever thought possible.

The way he looks at me, a perfect mix of nervous wreck and hopeful puppy is strangely endearing. Something about his awkward honesty makes it impossible to walk away. So I finally react, letting a grin escape from the corner of my lip. 

- You’re such a dork, Gee. - I chuckled, and his eyes opened wide.

- W-wait, does that mean…? - A confused happiness made Gerard freeze and look directly at me. 

-Yeah. - I approached him, smiling and rolling my eyes - I think I like you too, you idiot.

-Oh my God… - his hazel eyes glowed and a huge smile formed in his pink lips - this is like one of those rom-coms where the nerd actually wins?!

I shook my head, laughing at his words. He’s still red-faced and fumbling, but it’s clear now: he’s just a lovable, geeky mess who adores me in his own awkward way.

- No pressure or anything, but, uh... If we were in a romance movie, this would be the part where the two leads kiss.

I chuckled and my lips reached his. The warm sensation filled my body, the kiss was sloppy and desperate, felt like something he was holding for too long, something he couldn’t deal with anymore. His hands held my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He let out a soft moan and pulled back only to whisper:

- This feels like... you know... that scene in Return of the Jedi when-

- Gerard, - I interrupted, laughing. - Less Star Wars and more kissing, please.

- Right, yeah, sorry. - He turned bright red.

Gerard catched my lips again, deeper this time, with a bit more confidence. His hand slid to my waist, thumb brushing lazy circles against my skin, and his tongue explored my mouth, while he laid me down on his bed. His lips trailing down to my neck, scattering kisses that made my whole body buzz.

-You smell amazing. Like... that forest level in that one game. You know, the one where…

He trailed off, realizing how silly it sounded, but the look on his face was too earnest to be embarrassed.

- You are such a dork. - I laughed again, running my fingers through his messy hair. 

- Yeah, but I’m your dork, - he murmured, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, planting soft kisses along my collarbone.

His touch was gentle but hungry, as if each kiss, each brush of his fingers, was an apology for all the moments he’d spent longing for this. 

When he slid his hands under my shirt, he paused, looking at me with wide, nervous eyes. 

- Is this... okay? - he asked, shyly. The insecurity in his tone of voice was adorable, no more so than the sparkle in his eyes as he saw me give him a nod, lifting my arms so he could pull the shirt over my head. His gaze lingered on me, admiration glowing in his eyes. - Wow... You’re so -

- Gerard.-  I touched his face, guiding him back down for another kiss. - You’re doing fine.

He smiled, clearly relieved, and kissed me again, this time more eagerly. His hands, still trembling slightly, found their way to the button of my jeans. He fumbled for a moment, biting his lip in concentration. 

Once my jeans were off, he took a moment to just look at me, his hands resting on my hips as if grounding himself. 

- I don’t want to mess this up -  he whispered. 

- You’re not messing anything up, Gee..- i calmed him, brushing a thumb over his flushed cheek - Just... keep going

That was all the encouragement he needed. He kissed me again, his hands moving with a little more certainty now, sliding beneath my bra to touch bare skin. I gasped, arching into his touch, and he let out a shaky breath, somewhere between a moan and a laugh.

When he finally got out of his clothes, struggling with his belt in the process,

 -  Stupid thing… -  he muttered  flustered and I couldn't stop smiling. 

He was trying so hard, and there was something endearing about how eager yet unsure he was.

He kissed me again, slower this time, savoring the moment as his hands trailed down to my thighs, spreading them gently. His boxers were the last to go, and when I felt him against me, the heat between us became impossible to ignore.

- I’ve dreamed about this, - Gerard admitted breathlessly, kissing the side of my neck. - About you... For so long.

I felt my body react to him instinctively, desire building with every brush of his skin against mine. When he paused, hovering just at the edge, his eyes searched mine one last time.

- Is this okay? -  he whispered, his voice low and full of both need and vulnerability.

- Yes,-  I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. - I want this, Gee.

And then, with a slow, careful thrust, his cock was inside me. I gasped, gripping his hair as my body adjusted to the sensation. The burn was sweet and overwhelming.

He started moving, hesitant at first, like he was still learning how to sync with me. But every time I moaned his name, he seemed to gain a little more confidence, his rhythm becoming more certain, more desperate.

The heat between us grew, the room filled with soft gasps and whispered encouragement. His hands roamed my body, one settling on my waist, the other cradling my face as if I were something precious. As deeper he was coming I felt the tension coil in my stomach, tighter and tighter, until I was teetering right on the edge. 

- I’m close…

- Do it, sugar, - he panted, his voice thick with need. - Cum for me.

With a final thrust, the pleasure crashed over me like a wave. I clenched around him, clinging to him, nails digging into his back as I moaned his name, lost in the intensity of it.

Gerard groaned, his movements faltering as he reached his own release. The warmth of the ropes of his cum filling me up pushed me deeper into my own bliss, and we stayed like that, tangled together, catching our breath.

He pressed a lazy kiss to my shoulder, his body still trembling slightly. 

- Wow… -  he whispered, sounding both dazed and amazed. - That was... better than any dream I’ve ever had.

I laughed softly, brushing damp hair from his forehead. 

- Yeah. Way better.

___________________________________________

~ sooo, that's it! Let me know if you liked! :)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2

The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 

I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 

She!!

Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol

“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?

I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.

“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.

Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.

I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?

“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.

This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?

John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.

Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 

The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!

Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.

Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 

“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?

Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 

John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 

I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 

There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 

So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 

I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 

His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 

Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 

This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?

Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 

[badomensgoodomens]

RIFFS AND REGRETS - NOAH SEBASTIAN

oc name used: arabella

warnings: mention of sex?? throwing up??

unedited btw

summary: lol u dont get one keep reading.

The pounding on the bus door was enough to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I should NOT have drank that much. “Bella!!!” the pounding was repetitive. “Sorry! Sorry! Geez. i didn't even have a bra on.” My drummer, leo, stood infront of me with the hangover holy grail. coffee. 

I rub my face, god i slept in my makeup. He hands me an iced latte, in which i accept gratefully. We were currently parked in the bus sector of good things festival, approximately two days before it kicked off. I knew he was here, engraved into the back of my fucking skull. I just wonder if they were still together. 

I was talking about noah of course, the topic of him having haunted my dreams the past 4 years. Silhouettes of Silence (SOS) kicked off after we stopped being friends, which im sure  was a real slap in the face for him. I do briefly remember the events leading up to the pure distaste and hurt i feel towards the man, but i could honestly go on forever. 

I was snapped out of thought as leo repeatedly snapped in front of my face. “Get your shit together you haven’t even seen him yet” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Wheres lucy and gene?” i ask, glancing around the poorly furnished bus. “Probably hooking up somewhere." “I ought to fire those two one of these days.” 

With a sigh, i get up from my position on the leather couch. “Cmon, we gotta go set up our merch tent.” much to my absolute dismay, we were opposite none other than the bad omens merch tent. I just avoid eye contact. I loiter near pierce the veils tent, danielle had babysat me my entire childhood so we were close. 

“Silhouettes of silence, huh?” i heard a voice behind me. I could recognise that little shit anywhere. “Folio!!” i turn on my heels, running towards him. I hug him tightly, even after all this time he still smells and feels the same. “Ive missed you, man.” he says, pulling away. I shrug awkwardly, “hah… sorry. Kind of skipped town after everything went down. Im proud of you, you look well.” i say, shifting awkwardly on my feet. “Same to you bella, you look better.” he says with that stupid smile. “We should hang out some time.” i say, smiling at him. “Mhm, bring back our thrifting adventures.’ he says, glancing back to his tent. “Hey i gotta go, catch you later yeah?” he says, disappearing before i can even say anything. 

“That was an absolute disaster.” i gesture to danielle, who had appeared next to me. “Eh, id say it wasn’t too bad. If the rest of em are like that, this’ll be a breeze for you.” she responds. “Just wish it wasn’t like this.” i say. She hums, before stepping back to return to her organising. I take a deep breath, it was day one and i was already exhausted. I manage to leg it back to the bus without another unnecessary encounter with an omen boy, but at what cost. 

I step inside the dark tour bus to be met with the sound of moans and skin slapping. 

Oh my god. 

“Abstinence in the tour bus they said. Itll be fun being in a band they said” 

—--------------------------

Another day of rehearsals and setting up, pre show day nerves hitting me hard. I go for a walk after the suns set, just minding my own business. It was late, and quiet. Moments like this really kept me alive. My bassist and guitarist were immature, i feel like im going no where with my life, im still caught up on a GUY- oh god theres somebody behind me. 

“You look like shit.” 

“Oh my fucking GOD jolly you scared the shit out of me you creep.” i hiss, turning around. He just laughs, walking alongside me. “Its like 11pm, why are you out here walking alone?” he asks. “Thinking.” i mutter, looking down at my feet. “Fuck. i cannot see.” he mumbles, turning his phone flash on. 

We do a lap of the festival grounds, just catching up a bit. “You look different.” jolly says abruptly. I stop walking, now confused. “Sorry?” “its just.. I dont know. Youve lost weight, dyed your hair, started a band, covered yourself in tattoos its just.. Weird. You definitely look more.. You.” he says. I ponder for a moment. “Geez youre observant.” 

We finish our lap off, before going our separate ways to our buses. “Soo… seen him yet? Leo asks, sprawled out on a leather couch with some chips. “No… not yet atleast. But i'm gradually ticking off his bandmates.” i respond, sitting down next to him to steal a chip. “They were your friends too, bella.” he says, his voice softening on me. “Dont get all sappy on me” i say, shoving him. He laughs.

—--------------------------------------------

Showtime. 

I  could actually throw up. 

I stand infront of the shitty bathroom mirror, some comfy flares and a hoodie on for now. I take deep breaths before warming up my voice.

Everyone gathers for soundcheck. 

“Hi yes im in my slippers, uhhh someone give me a song to sing.” 

“Floral and fading!!!” 

“My voice doesn’t go thaaaat high!!” 

Its about 3pm now, ive already pregamed some drinks and some artists have even started. Leo is curling my hair, while i cake on some makeup. “Im so not ready for this.” i say, setting my face. “You’ll do perfectly fine, warm your voice up.” he says, poking my side. 

I stand backstage, cracking my knuckles. Something I usually do out of pure fear. I rock on the balls of my feet, zoning the fuck out. “You got this.” Lucy says, standing in front of me. I just nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. “You’re on in 10.” the stage manager says, walking behind me. I sigh, rubbing my face. “Im gonna shit myself” i choke out a laugh. 

I finally get my shit together and step out onto the main stage. Our song ‘urban legends’ blares through the plethora of speakers, my stage presence is bipolar compared to me naturally. I’m confident on stage, not in real life. 

Passion seeps through my voice as i perform our debut album, ‘echoes of silence’ the crowd is ecstatic, feeling the vibe. I transition into our newer songs, whom have grown popular on tiktok. Its exhausting really, but i love the adrenaline. 

As our set closes, i stalk past all the sea of backstage members, catching the eye of the one man id been trying to avoid. I don’t have time to care though, i can hear leo walking behind me, trying to get my attention. Fuck. i need a bucket. 

I run into the backstage bathrooms, throwing up. Gene and lucy hold my hair back. My ears are ringing and i feel queasy.

The last thing i hear before i black out is

“Is she okay?”

_____________________________

credits to whoever came up with 'abstinence in the tour bus' i read it somewhere and think of it religiously lol.

[theylooklikehumanbeings]

"All you have to worry about is some stupid tape" Tommy Lee x reader x slight! Pamela Anderson (Part 1?)

MDNI! content warnings: Angst, sexual themes mentioned, swearing, talking about past abuse, sorry ya'll Tommy Lee isn't going to be the nicest in this lol.

Part two

read my A/N at the bottom alrighty thanks.

Summary: Y/N is filling in as a backup singer for Motley Crue on their upcoming album. Tommy Lee has been pissed lately because their new album isnt going well and on top of that his sex tape with Pamela Anderson has been leaked. Y/N meanwhile is living with an abusive boyfriend so getting this gig with Motley Crue would be able to help them out of their home. However, what happens when homelife is meeting studio life..?

Y/N sat down in the little lounge chair in the center of the studio. Today was once again another day where both Vince and Tommy were late. You really couldn't care less though they were always busy doing something else than being in the studio making their own fucking album... On the bright side you got to get away from home. Right now you'd probably be getting yellled at for something minut and insignificant. That's when the door flew open.

Tommy Lee, the biggest baddest drummer and sex maniac himself walked in. He looked around throwing his hands up "whats up with studio B?!" he yelled out. Nikki and Mick both doing their own things respectively looked up. Nikki got up and sighed approaching Tommy. He carefully set a hand on his shoulder. "Studio A's full..." Tommy stared at him for a moment "By fucking... who?" he said. You looked at him like you'd looked at your boyfirend before... you noticed that fire in a man's eyes. That one when they are really... really pissed.. It sent a shiver down your spine. You hadn't even noticed when a figure was in front of you. Mick Mars the legendary guitarist of Motley Crue and the man who had taken up the role of being the oldest member was standing in front of you. He looked concerned as he carefully placed a hand on your shoulder. "Hey kid... you alright?" he asked with a concerned frown. "You spaced out real bad, I tried getting your attention..." You looked up at him as your eyes softened. Bless his heart.. he was conerned for you... "Yeah... Yeah I'm sorry Mick just thinking..." you tried laughing it off. You brushed back your hair as you looked up at him.

Mick didn't seem so sure however as he looked at you. He still seemed concerned but silently nodded as he sat next to you. He grunted as his back was still aching up. He silently watched as Tommy stormed out of the studio with Nikki following behind. "Tommy's off his rocker..." he mumbeld to himself. You looked over sort of curious and confused. You knew something had been happening with Tommy but you had no idea what it was. "What's wrong with him..?" you asked both catiously and curiously. Mick looked over at you as he grabbed a bottle of water. He cleared his throat and took a drink. "Well... it's not really for me to tell but... you know he's married right? To Pamela Anderson?" Of course you knew, you were pretty sure the whole country knew. "Yeah of course, Baywatch girl" you said looking over at him. "Exactly" Mick said as he took another drink. "Well, they got their safe stolen awhile back... in that safe there was a.. certain tape..."

You stared at him a bit puzzled for a minute. "Like home movies or something..?" Mick scoffed and let out a quiet chuckle. "Wish it was like that..." You stared at him for awhile until it hit you... oh... how had you not heard about this?? You really weren't into watching the news though and defintiely weren't allowed to go looking for those types of tapes... Your boyfriend would probably backhand you if you brought one of those home. "So, it got leaked?" You hesitantly asked Mick. Mick nodded drinking down his water. "Yup, it's everywhere... and it's really getting to Tommy and Pam... plus they lost that baby awhile back..." he said quietly. You frowned hearing him.. no wonder Tommy was acting out... it was almost like nothing was going right for him... Mick leaned up and pat your back gently. "Don't worry about it though... I'm sure everything will get settled and he'll be back to the stupid little piece of shit he is...." He smiled trying to give you some hope.

You smiled back at him. He was always so kind to you, the other gusy were too but Mick more especially. That's when the door flung open and Tommy walked in. He looked most definitely pissed. "I guess were Elektras second choice band now guys!" he yelled and went over knocking over some symbols on his drumkit. You felt yourself jump at the noise. "Fucking Third Eye Blind?! who the fuck is that?!" he yelled as he kicked the drums. Mick got up carefully holding his back "Tommy, calm down, man". Tommy stared at him a deep frown on his face "We sold over 100 million fucking albums Mick!! and they treat us like were fucking dog shit!" he yelled. He crashed down a symbol. "Breaking their fucking equipment isn't going to help, Tom" Nikki said walking over.

Tommy glared at him but reluctantly stopped. He dropped to the ground and sat there. "Fuck... nothing's going right... Vince isn't here, My sex tape is leaked and Pam... Pam's been really stressed.." he siad holding his head. You stared down at him. You felt bad for him... It brought back memories from a time not so long ago...

1990

You stared at the tv. You gripped your shirt as you bit your lip. MTV was on and was playing the latest Motley Crue concert that happened not long ago in Los Angeles. Vince had just gotten on stage and raised his fist to the crowd as the crowd screamed out for him. You let out a giggle imagining yourself there in the crowd. Thats when the camera panned over to a certain someone. Tommy Lee was banging on the drums a goofy looking smile on his face. You felt something you hadn't before. Seeing his eyes linger on the camera. A feeling of butterflies started to fly in your stomach.... You had watched for so long you hadn't seen the figure behind you. Your boyfriend came over and immediately shut the TV off. You looked at the black screen for a moment before looking back at your boyfriend "Hey.. What... I was watching that-" You felt a hand on your arm lifting you up. "Really bitch? you wanna watch some fucking glam rock shit?" he said glaring down at you. You felt your stomach dropping. You flinched as he brought his hand to your cheek. "This is my fucking apartment.... and my fucking TV, I paid for it, I get to say what the fuck you are watching.. got it?" he said looking at you. You stared down at the ground as you felt the tears filling your eyes.

Tommy finally looked up to see you staring at him "What the fuck are you looking at? huh?". You finally got out of your trance as you looked him up and down. "Nothing... I'm sorry about... about everything..." you said looking at him sincerely. Tommy just stared at you. "You don't know what it's like..." You stared at him for awhile. You didn't know what it was like? Did he have to go home everyday and walk on eggshells so he wouldn't piss off his boyfriend? No, he has to worry about a fucking tape. You stared... hard... everything going through your mind you wanted to scream, to shout at him for. But you didn't. You never did. Instead you got up pulling out cigarettes "I'm going out.. for a smoke..."

Nobody protested as you stormed out of the room and out to the front of the studio. You stood there as you pulled out a Marlboro Red. You took out your lighter and lit it before taking a puff off the cigarette. Tears were threathening to fall down your cheeks. "You don't know what it's like..." The words stuck in your mind like a bad song. He didn't know what the fuck it was like... He was a fucking rockstar with everything anyone could ever dream of. A hot wife, nice cars, millions of dollars.... everything was at his fingertips. You, You had to go home to a drunk boyfriend in a shitty apartment and still come into the studio pretending none of that existed at home. You took a long puff from the cigarette as you glared before stomping it down. "Fuck..." you whispered as tears fell down your cheeks. You slowly fell down onto the floor and sat there. You buried your head in your knees as you started to cry.

Music came from somewhere causing you to look up. A car had pulled up. A nice looking one to. You got up wiping the tears from your eyes. You stared in both curiousity and confusion. The car stopped pulling right beside the studio. The door flung open...

"So I cry and I pray and I beg..."

Pamela Anderson stepped out of the car and immediately turned to you. She had on a baby blue jacket, a white tank top and some dark blue sweatpants. She looked at you like a concerned woman who lost a baby. You felt your heart stopping as you stared at her.

"Love me, Love me, Say that you love me..."

"Is Tommy here...?"

A/N: Hello everyone! thank you for reading. I would just like to say that this is kinda a experiment I was originally going to post this as just a oneshot but It would kind of make more sense to just start this as a series. Please let me know what you think in the comments I would love to know.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

peppermint gum, m | jjk | savor...

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

It’s impossible to fall in love when you’re already in love. And Jeon Jungkook was in love. Helplessly. But what could he do? Time passed. The world became tasteless to his eyes. All he could do was hold onto the crisp and intense color of those memories, remember her words, and wonder where she was now. Savor, and burst forth.

this is part i | click here for part ii | total wc: 25.6k

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; this story contains parental child abuse - child neglect and abandonment; sloooow burn; mild alcohol consumption; hardcore pining JK; angst and fluff and feels; (in part ii) smut (fem reader, slight D/s dynamic, so much kissing, hair pulling, scratching / marking. grinding, choking, m-receiving oral, finger sucking, fingering, nipple play, m-masturbation, thigh riding, edging, penetrative sex, doggy, multiple orgasms); shifts back and forth between Jungkook’s POV and your POV; from lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers again :)

non-idol!AU; pining!Jungkook x noona!reader — ft JK's helpful? friends Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin; reader's close friend and talented guitarist, Kang Hyungu (ONEWE's Kanghyun if you want to see his appearance, hehe, same personality); JK has all his piercings and has hair (lol) had to be broken up into two parts bc it is 25k words, rip

--

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll forget you?”

Those last words rang in his head, accompanied by her smile.

“Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.”

He wanted her to be wrong. But, of course, she wasn’t. Life wasn’t so kind. Life wasn’t so kind to give him a dramatic ending. Rather, it was a calm one of slow decay where he gradually learned to not miss her anymore. No ill feelings. Just helplessness. He had wanted her to be his morning, his afternoon, his night. She didn’t. He had been younger then. He had thought he could change what was already written.

She had done the right thing, actually.

Years past. The memories became a blur with everything else. Everyone else – between nights and bodies and the feeling of not quite right. Searching but not knowing what he was looking for so he cut them off just as he had been cut off. It hurt, of course, but not as much as it would have if he had let it drag on. Maybe that was what he had learned from that time.

He forgot to miss her.

But he still thought of her and wondered where she was now.

Tattoos, piercings, and countless hours at the gym later. Running. Life an endless loop despite the differences. Nowadays, he was making an effort to hang out with his friends more, not just for birthdays or online games, but socializing at in-person events that he still wasn’t very good at. Becoming older meant drifting apart since they didn’t have those common places to mingle in anymore, so it was important to put in the effort. If he wanted to improve in talking to people more casually, well, he should at least put himself in those opportunities, right?

Right.

Running.

Always running.

Sometimes, when he was in the dark surrounded by people and with just the right amount of alcohol in his system, he missed her terribly, but he couldn’t remember what standing next to her was even like.

Other times, he completely forgot she used to like this type of tea or that kind of snack. These details faded into the background, only to return to him in disorienting dreams and half-realities.

And most of the time, he forgot.

In between hands and lips and legs, he felt the rush. The exhilaration. Lust. He could make magic in the bedroom. Wasn’t that what it was all about? Wasn’t it all about the chase between two? Wasn’t love about strangers becoming forever-afters? Wasn’t it? He didn’t know anything about that when he was younger. Right. How could that be love?

Maybe.

Maybe he just forgot.

The spark always died so fast. It must have been not quite right.

She must have forgotten him too, by now.

When Jeon Jungkook saw her again, he hadn’t expected it at all.

It was at a nightclub concert. Loud and obnoxious and full of infectious energy. A friend of his was a singer of the band that was going onstage next. Currently, there was alternative rock band vibing with the crowd, singing songs that no one knew but spoke to feelings everyone understood. Breakup lyrics to sweetheart melodies. He was enjoying himself, but not paying much attention. In a split second, he had whipped his head around because one of his friends was playfully flicking the back of his hair, being an idiot, and then he saw her at the edge of the stage. Right there. He almost didn’t think it was her at first, but his eyes recognized that face right away, even amidst the chocolate smokey eye and cherry lip stain. He almost looked away, not wanting to stare at a now-stranger, but his body froze when she smiled, remembering the way his heart fluttered when those past-lover-now-stranger’s eyes sparkled with mischief when she smiled.

That couldn’t have been love, right?

He couldn’t remember.

Was she more beautiful than before or had helplessness desaturated his memory?

She was cheerfully speaking to someone. A young man who had cerulean hair. His undercut was dyed a gradient purple. Taller than her, with broad shoulders. Black t-shirt and tight jeans showing off a built body. He lingered near her the same way a cat stayed by its owner. She shook her head at him and said something. The man chuckled despite a demeanor full of nervousness. She handed him his purple electric guitar and pushed him, motioning him to interact with the band standing offstage. Oh, that was right. His singer friend had mentioned that their actual guitarist was out taking care of his grandmother. They had to call someone to fill in on short notice.

It was clear, by the instrument, that this was the fill in.

The young man trotted over to the band and introduced himself. He was meant with open arms and gracious bows that left him flustered and shaking his head.

Jeon Jungkook looked away, not wanting her to see him.

Would she know it was him?

He glanced at her again during the break for the band change. She was standing at the side, not too close to the wall but not too far. Could be noticed right away, because she was not drinking and because she was alone. Simply standing there. Almost regal even in a tight white crop top and hip-hugging black trousers. The thick black strap of her sling bag had a large plush keychain dangling by her waist. A tuxedo cat with a tangerine on its head. She didn’t seem bothered to be alone with no one to speak to. She also held onto a big, thick, black leather jacket. Folded and tucked in her arms. Could be hers.

Could also not be.

She was smiling in the direction of the substitute guitarist. Jungkook caught a shared gaze between them. She gave the man a thumbs up. He returned the smile, albeit awkwardly. A wordless exchange. Two people who knew each other very well. The lights dimmed. An announcement was made and cheers erupted around him.

But Jungkook was in the dark, surrounded by people, with not enough alcohol in his system to place the emotion he was feeling right now.

He looked to the stage as the spotlights returned to the stage, lighting up the band and his friend, but his mind held onto the image he had just now seen. Something about her makeup, with the striking eyeliner and black-cherry tinted lips. His own lips tingled, remembering the taste of a kiss from years ago.

A bright and refreshing flavor, so strong that it had seemed to last for hours after.

He was not self-centered or bitter enough to call her an ex-girlfriend. It had been a crisp and intense connection but, in retrospect, the time had been short. Fast and in a rush. The kind of love that made his skin prickle and his heart race. There had been no way to know how long it would last. There had been no comparison to realize that that love could be as fleeting as it was powerful.

A peppermint gum love.

Ah, what was he going on like this for? Maybe she didn’t want to be bothered. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see a ghost of her past. Maybe she didn’t even remember him. Jungkook knew he looked very different now. Back then, he had been a lot more worried about being presentable to everyone. Now, he was old enough to know he couldn’t and didn’t have to please everyone. He could wear loose clothes even if he worked out to look toned the way he wanted. He could get those lip piercings even if people told him eight ear piercings was already too many and adding two more on the right side of his lower lip was overdoing it. He could get a sleeve of colorfully dark tattoos and maybe consider getting more if he really wanted, even if some people found it tacky or not to their taste.

Well.

As long as he had the money for it, anyway.

He tried to discern how she was looking at the young man playing guitar, but Jungkook couldn’t figure out if it was the same expression that she had given him all those years before. He couldn’t remember.

His mind couldn’t remember.

But.

There was an interlude mid-act. He had made up his mind. He excused himself from his friends, mumbling the excuse of the bathroom. It was nerve-wracking to cut himself away from that safety. He didn’t have to do this. There was no ill feeling.

Just helplessness.

He moved through the crowd, winding between the people. Right there. There was so much noise. Conversations. Laughter. Drunken bickering. But all he could hear was silence. Bodies pushed up against him, bumping into him by accident, mumbling out apologies. But all he could feel was the suggestion of a touch, the faded peppermint gum love, grasping for a memory that he couldn’t seem to recall.

His finger tapped her shoulder.

He just wanted to know something.

“Do you still feel the same as you did back then?”

After the hey, how have you been, after the look of recognition and half-amused smile and the flutter of his heart, after the small talk of where are you now, he asked her the question. Those things were only the precursor. The filler and fluff. The pretense to the question that had been on his mind for a long, long time now.

“About what?” she asked, tilting her head curiously.

“I don’t know if you remember…” He didn’t either, actually. Remember her original words. “But you said that you didn’t think you could ever understand love. You said something like that to me a long time ago and I wonder… I wonder if that feeling has changed.”

He knew it was a strange question and yet.

He just…

Needed to know.

The shadows in her eyes became darker, impenetrable. “Sounds like something I’ve said. But, are you asking me because you think that feeling should have changed?”

He shook his head quickly. “No.” Looked at her head-on, unsure if this bravery was from alcohol or the question itself that had been lingering in his mind for so long. “I remembered what you said after all this time because…”

Hot and heavy, but ultimately forgettable nights.

Cold and bright.

Unable to last and, yet, lasted.

“Because I think now I am beginning to understand what you meant.”

There was a lot of noise around them, but he barely noticed. There was so much light, so many people around them, but this moment was a spotlight between him and the past cold brightness. The shadows in her eyes softened, no longer bristling thorns, fading into a dark forest of overlapping leaves. He couldn’t know, but he felt those eyes were different now. Darker. More decisive. And yet, in some ways she hadn’t changed at all. One of the things that he had always liked about her back then was that she always answered him seriously and wisely even if the question seemed out of the blue.

They always had an inexplicable closeness, even as strangers.

She was even more beautiful and more attractive than he remembered though.

“I lied,” she admitted with a half-smile. Was that a sparkle of mischief in her irises or was he seeing things? “I remember what I said to you. It had upset you a lot, I remember, when I said I didn’t understand love. You cried. It must have hurt you, but I couldn’t understand why back then. Back then, I said I didn’t understand love because I both didn’t want to learn and couldn’t feel it. Only the latter is true now. Or, rather, I don’t think I feel the same things that other people feel when they are with the people they love. But why do you say you’re beginning to understand that I meant?”

His body remembered the feeling of her hand on his shoulder. Now, their relations weren’t close enough for her to touch him. He didn’t remember crying but he wasn’t surprised to be told that he did. When he was younger, he had been a bit of a crybaby. Just because he didn’t recall didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

But.

His heart could still feel that deep scratch of those familiar words, even now.

“When I met you back then… I thought I knew everything about love. Love was for good people. I wanted to be a good person so I could be loved. All I had to do was become the person that people wanted to love. But then I realized I wasn’t doing the things I wanted to do, only what was expected of me. Then you told me you didn’t understand love and I, someone who wanted to be loved by you, realized I had nothing to fall back on because I was only made of others’ expectations and ideals.”

He shook his head. He did remember crying after they parted. He remembered trying to make the sadness go away. He remembered nights in beds and stumbling home to cry in the shower, feeling disconnected in the physical connection. He remembered nights alone, empty bottles and holding a shot glass of tears, feeling unable to speak about this to anyone. Lost without knowing how to be found. Doing things based on impulse because only impulses were truly his and not poisoned by the opinions of others. Laughing at the search of happiness. Above all, he had been afraid. He had been afraid to give voice to his worries because then maybe they would gain power and overtake him.

But then he remembered the person who didn’t understand love.

There was such a person that existed out there.

He wondered how she was now.

“I wanted to tell you…”

And now he knew.

“I wanted to tell you I understand now. Or… don’t. Um.”

She smiled at him.

It was not the same way as she looked at the guitarist.

“Huh, you’ve become so mature and grown up. Well, welcome to the smoke-and-mirrors of adulthood, Jeon Jungkook,” she chuckled teasingly, shaking her head. “I scarred you that bad, eh?”

“No, I didn’t mean–”

She raised a hand to stop him, waving away his apology. “No, it’s okay. I’m surprised you still remember me. And don’t hate me. A lot of them hate me.”

Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.

His body did remember.

“A lot of them?” he echoed, a muscle in his jaw tightening.

The faintest tick of her eyebrow. “You gonna tell me you have all these tattoos and piercings and don’t get laid?”

His heart dropped. “You don’t like them?” He blurted that a little too fast.

She laughed. “My opinion of them doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, it does,” was his quick reply.

She paused. The shadows in her eyes swirled. He tried to discern their meaning as he stared into those dark irises but the shadows were all evasive and clever, flitting away from him playfully. When she spoke again, there was a sternness to her tone. Not scolding him. Just getting her point across.

“Answer the question of whether or not you get laid.”

Hot and heavy nights that meant nothing compared to the cold and bright scratch on his heart.

“I…”

The tips of his ears suddenly burned but maybe it was the alcohol.

“I do. But I haven’t remembered or been bothered to remember a single thing they’ve said to me,” Jungkook heard himself say and wondered where that bravery came from.

She didn’t say anything for a moment.

Then she smiled in the way that made him shiver.

“Hyungu is gonna be pissed,” she laughed as the sound of a guitar riff pierced the air.

Oh, shit.

The spotlight faded.

Everything rushed back. Sound, color, light. It suddenly became very clear that he was too far and too long gone from his friends to go back now and face them. Jungkook spun around, seeing that the crowd had packed up tightly again. To his dismay, he had no idea where his friends were. They were no longer in that little pocket they had been. Did they get closer to the stage? Had they seen where he had gone? Did one of them text him? He was afraid to pull out his phone, both in rudeness and in the possible mortifying teasing. His phone was always on silent, at least. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

He turned back.

The melody echoing behind him was sharp and bright chords followed by a soulful voice.

She had been looking at the stage but immediately caught his gaze with a surprised expression. As if she hadn’t expected him to stay once the music started. And he shouldn’t, for it was rude and intrusive and inconsiderate to stay and invade a stranger’s space any longer.

But.

“You didn’t give me an answer.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

He pulled up the sleeve of his charcoal hoodie, revealing more of his tattoos. Her eyes tracked the movement, widening in surprise at the burst of color combined with thick black outlines. She had been able to see some of them, as his sleeves had been pushed up slightly, but it was much more obvious with the cuffs to the elbows. His forearm was covered with ink and there was no sign of stopping past the black patch in his inner elbow.

He looked back at her.

For a moment, they were young again.

Haloed by music, immersed in each other. A movie in real life. Suddenly it felt worth it – worth taking the risk of being rude, intrusive, or inconsiderate. Suddenly, it felt worth rolling the die and betting double just to…

Have a taste of that peppermint flavor.

“Yes or no?” he insisted, frowning, stubbornly pushing for an answer.

Deep down, Jungkook had always hoped she was thriving, shining brighter than all the stars, because then it proved that he, someone who also felt like he didn’t understand love, could be as impactful as that sparkling smile.

The corner of her lips ticked up in amusement. “Does a stranger’s opinion matter that much? I thought you weren’t going to let the opinions of others bother you anymore.”

Are we really strangers?

He grinned. “A stranger’s opinion would be the most unbiased, right?”

Can strangers speak like the way you and I do?

She stared at him for seconds that felt like forever-ever-afters.

Then she laughed, reaching up with a graceful hand and touching her fingertips to her forehead. His breath caught his throat, suddenly flooded with memories of youth and rashness, short as it was. He could see it all in a whirlwind. Crystal clear and fleeting all at once. A perfect storm and now caught in the eye, all of his wonders and helplessness thrown to the wayside upon seeing this familiar gesture that he didn’t even know until now was familiar, realizing now just how precious it was.

She lowered her hand with a mirthful and sparkling expression.

Beckoned with a downward wave as the music swelled, dangerously close to melting into the bridge.

“Step closer. You’re in someone’s way.”

Jungkook jolted, stumbling, realizing there was a short woman with carrying three full cups of foamy, honey-colored beer looking confusedly at him.

“Oh, shit, sorry–”

Her hand touched his shoulder, directing him gently.

His body moved but his mind froze at the touch.

“Listen. This is my favorite part. I’ll tell you after.”

One moment, there was space between them.

The next, he was standing next to her.

She tapped the air, closing her eyes.

“Listen.”

He closed his eyes obediently. Took away the visual, and suddenly his world was flooded with the auditory. An intricate guitar solo to bring life to his fluttering heart blending with piano and drums flowing together. Memories flashing past, too fast to grasp onto, happiness and misery, and then the bridge came, the lyrics painting the photo of two colorless roses abandoned by the heavens.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

Her eyes opened at the final chorus, exhaling softly. Turned her head and he could see in the shadows of her gaze that she, too, remembered their minty whirlwind of memories.

Or…

Was he just hoping for that?

She smiled.

“I love your tattoos and piercings. You suit them well. I’m glad you found your own color, Jeon Jungkook. You shine so much brighter now than you did back then.”

It was at this moment that he knew...

He fucked up.

He shouldn’t have walked over here. He shouldn’t have asked the question. He shouldn’t have stayed and continued the conversation. He shouldn’t have asked if she liked how he looked now. He should have stayed with his friends and wondered. He should have preserved in the hot and heavy instead of searching for the past of crisp and bright. He might get used to it. He might end up finding what he was looking for, whatever it was. Or, better yet, he might just forget this whole feeling and her lasting words if he never saw her smile as she spoke to him again.

But he didn’t, so that meant he really fucked up.

Pit-a-pat.

He stared at her for so long that he didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything in reply until the song ended and her expression changed, tilting her head in puzzlement. She thinks I’m insane. Say something, Jungkook! Anything! But nothing was coming to mind, as how it always was in these situations. Awesome.

“Uh…”

She smoothly interrupted his awkwardness. “Did you come with friends?” Expression neutral. “I would hate to keep you from your company for too long.”

The notable shift from more casual to formal slightly stung.

No.

Really stung.

“I… Well, honestly, I don’t know where they are,” Jungkook confessed, scanning the crowd for a moment in attempt to look for them. It was a half-assed attempt, but it was an attempt. “I think I’ll have to look for them after the show. We’re meeting up with the band to eat, I think.”

“Oh? You know them?”

He pointed awkwardly to the stage. “Ah, yeah, the lead singer… We met in high school and are in the same friend group… Well, I’ve only recently started hanging out outside again. We’ve played a lot of online games together.”

“Oh, really?” She looked back up to the stage. “In that case, do you think your friends would mind if Hyungu tagged along?” A cautious smile. “It’s just… Hyungu-ah is in a band too, but they’re on hiatus right now. A few of them are doing military service. I think he really misses that environment. I can’t really talk music with him though, I don’t know anything,” she added ruefully, shaking her head and scrunching her nose. “Sorry, that’s probably a bit much to ask you after seeing you all this time. I’m just worried about that introvert, haha.”

Oh, right. The substitute guitarist. Right, because she didn’t simply magically appear as an act of fate or red string level of storytelling in a drama. Real life wasn’t like that.

“S-Sure, we can all go together–”

She was asking him to suggest or go along with the proposition to not alienate the guy. It was clear that she cared about him. He didn’t want to see them together, but… If she became part of his friend group, he might have a reason to go out more. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he just wanted to see if she was happy with that guy. Maybe he…

Okay, he wanted her to be close, even if it was all futile.

She relaxed. “Ah, phew. It really did take me a while to convince him to get out of the house,” she chuckled. “It’ll be nice for him to be around people that understand his true language of music, haha. I’ll stick around just in case, but don’t worry, I’ll leave and let you guys be guys, heh.”

Wait.

What?

Jungkook blinked rapidly. “Huh? Aren’t you coming too?”

She stared back. “Huh? Why?”

He looked at her and she looked at him.

Both blank stares of confusion.

“Why wouldn’t you go with your boyfriend?” he blurted.

Invisible question marks popped up over her head. Then she jolted and jerked her head to the band, to the blue-haired guitarist tearing it up on stage with a grin, then back at Jungkook, her eyes wide. “Me? Me?” She pointed to herself quickly, half-laughing in disbelief. “Me and Kang Hyungu?”

Jungkook gawked.

She burst out laughing.

“Oh, fuck, no, no, no,” she puffed, waving her hand all over. “No, no, he’s not… Oh, sheesh, no, we’re not dating. You thought… hah, sorry, there’s a misunderstanding here, hahaha…” She flicked her hand downward as if that idea was so ridiculous that it needed to be physically slapped out of existence. “Ah, no, how can I explain…”

Huh?

Wait, didn’t she mention earlier that his Kang Hyungu was going to be angry? She did directly say, Hyungu is gonna be pissed, right after Jungkook had told her he never bothered to remember what other girls told him, which would imply… argh, this was very baffling and Jungkook found his scatterbrained thoughts spinning trying to comprehend it all.

She straightened and ticked her head to the stage. “Me and him are just friends. We’ve been friends are a long time. Sorry, I can see why you’re mistaken since I came here with him, but Hyungu-ah is the type that really doesn’t like new situations. When he got asked to fill in for another band, he wanted me to come with him, since he wouldn’t know anybody. I believe he said he only spoke to these guys a couple times at festivals and he just needed some moral support.” She grinned. “Ya know, a tough cookie in case things get tough, hehe.”

Jungkook understood but also he was confused. “O… Oh…”

She motioned away his doubts. “In his words, you’re scary, noona. I’d feel much better if you came with me. Can you believe this guy? Just admit you’re lonely.” She rolled her eyes. “Hyungu-ah is a guitar genius. He’s a music nerd. I’ve known him since…” She paused, a dark shadow casting over her eyes as she recalled the past. “I was asked to tutor him when he was in high school and I was finishing university. He was shit at math and science. I helped him pass and then I…”

And again.

That pause.

Jungkook got the feeling she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him or not.

She shrugged. “I moved away. Then I saw his name on a poster. Turns out this nerd made his dream a reality and started that band after all.” Her expression became fond. Gentle. “I went to go see him perform. I was surprised he recognized me, actually. Hah, kinda like–”

Her gaze shifted to him.

It was as if time stopped.

She continued, clearing her throat. “Anyway, I’m not dating anyone. Definitely not Hyungu. He’s more like a little brother to me. Or I’m more like a bodyguard, heh. With only intimidation tactics. I really should work out, huh…”

He frowned. “Have you talked about him before? I would have remembered someone so important to you.”

“Nah, I think you and me was after university. When I was being a slu–” She cut herself off. “Ahem, I mean, I was young and didn’t really want to deal with, well, anything. Running from myself, so to speak.” She sighed. A little heavy. “I meant to say sorry, back then. You got caught up with my madness.”

She winked.

Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat.

“But, hey, you dodged a bullet, eh?”

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. That burst between them wasn’t there anymore.

Right?

Wrong.

He grinned.

“Nah, I’m bulletproof.”

Something about her.

Do you feel it too?

Her gaze sharpened and she stilled, mischief sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh, yeah?”

-

Well.

Can’t say you expected the events of tonight to be on this year’s bingo card.

You laid in bed and scrolled through your phone, but you didn’t pay much attention to anything on the screen. On one hand, you felt a little restless leaving Kang Hyungu to fend for himself with his low alcohol tolerance. On another hand, he was a grown man and would call you in the middle of the night to pick him up if he was really fucked up. Eh, he was too much of a good boy to be irresponsible.

You chuckled to no one in particular.

You were alone, after all.

It was a miracle, really, that little Hyungu still wanted to be your friend now.

In some ways, he was still the same kid you had met all those years ago. You didn’t really interact with him much as you were a couple years older and, well, a girl. You couldn’t really look at him either, all things considering. After all, wasn’t it highly probable that the bags under his eyes was your family’s fault? Your family and his family happened to be next-door neighbors at the apartment complex.

No one really talked about it.

In certain areas, the sounds of yelling and thrown dishes were simply background noise. Normal circumstances. The first near two decades of your life was that every day. Most of the time, your presence was as insignificant as a cockroach. Sometimes you would be spoken of but never spoken to. You learned from a pretty young age to shut up or be forced to shut up. The family motto was, children are not meant to be seen or heard. The adults were speaking. More accurately, arguing, escalating to screaming, and then to scalding silent treatment. Repeat cycle. You learned to snatch food from the fridge as soon as you saw it. No one was going to prepare anything for you, but at least there was always something edible in there.

Until you became a teenager, that was.

It got especially bad when you attended high school as both sides picked up hideous habits to deal with their issues. In your opinion, they should have picked divorce to deal with them, but instead they chose gambling and serial cheating. Sometimes neither would come home for days. Whenever they crossed paths, the endless war continued. There was no way to predict when the silence could become suddenly violate and now you were old enough to understand what was going on – and old enough to loathe it. You barely saw your next-door neighbors at that time because you did basically anything you could to avoid going home. There was only so much a child can take.

They either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

It was also about this time that you started using sex as a coping mechanism.

Approval by society wasn’t high on the list for you at that time, nor was it now. Must have been the upbringing. You watched alcohol become an expensive addiction for your parents and, paired with their mindless days at the casinos and excess spending on extramarital pleasures, illegal drugs were out of the question. Sex, however. If you knew what clinics to go to or where to shoplift, well. Free protection. Yup. During university, though, was when you needed money. You couldn’t go far as you couldn’t pay to live in a dorm. Your scholarships were barely covering tuition, so living at home was the only option. At this point, your parents had mostly forgot forgot that there was someone they birthed living in the apartment with them, which was fine by you, except when you needed to eat.

How Kang Hyungu knew things he shouldn’t know was a mystery you never figured out.

You had gotten locked out, again, and some loud dispute was happening behind the door. Deadbolted. It was shaping up to be a shit night – that was until a tall high schooler with a guitar bag approached the door to your right. You tried not to look at him and decided you would leave to find a PC bang to spend the night. But he must have seen your university-branded bag and called out your family name.

That was when Kang Hyungu started talking to you.

He must have noticed the many times that you had been locked out. Well, how could he ignore it? You didn’t want to do the small talk thing except for immediately informing him with your given name. However, your ears perked up when he mentioned that he needed help with math and science classes. He was looking to pay a tutor. Cram school was pretty expensive. Turns out you both had attended the same high school – of course, considering you lived in the same damn apartment building – and the high school posted notices about alumni that had received scholarships. That shit was a big deal to educators.

That was how you ended up in a basement studio room listening to five high schoolers make songs for hours and teaching them calculus, biology, and chemistry. All of them ended up being mild levels of garbage at those subjects, but it made teaching in a group much more efficient. It was thanks to Hyungu that you were able to eat all of university. Honestly, you didn’t really need the money as much as you needed somewhere to be. Yeah, it was pretty clear that Hyungu knew that somehow. He was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for. Neither of you really talked about it even though you should have.

Maybe, then…

When you graduated university, it was clear you had to leave. It was clear you had to put some distance between you and those who birthed you. Turns out, they did it for you, because one day you came home from job hunting and you didn’t have a home anymore. The apartment door was open and some random people were moving in. Cool. A talk with the leasing office, then. Turns out your parents moved out and didn’t bother to tell you. Together? Separately? Who the fuck knew. You found a box of your clothes in the dumpster along with some other random shit. Your birth certificate, even.

Your entire existence thrown in the trash.

It had really not been the best time.

Couple months of living strictly from PC bangs and business hotel rooms, you started a desk job at minimum wage. Funny how a degree didn’t do much but whatever. You also continued your not-so-great coping mechanism of fucking around, which is how you met Jeon Jungkook. He definitely had a different idea of how it all went down, but.

You paused, seeing that you had pulled up your phone contacts and there he was.

Even through changed models, your phone contacts transferred over. You never bothered to clear them out unless the person was worth blocking. Jeon Jungkook wasn’t worth blocking. The breakup, if you could call it that, was pretty simple. You said what you said and he didn’t fight you. You didn’t need his number in the years after, but you forgot about thinking you needed to delete unused numbers. You didn’t really forget him, though.

He was the only one that you felt sorry for breaking his heart.

He hadn’t been your type back then. Your type had been self-destructive, and you had become tired of that, so you chased for the complete opposite instead. You knew full well that it wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t even go into it invested. But you chose well, and he was the complete opposite. He trusted everything you said. He put up with your cold front. He liked you more than you liked him and he had no idea that he did. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised that he wouldn’t care even if he knew. He was good in bed too. Eager, quick to learn, and listened to everything you said. Tried everything you asked without questioning or judging. It was precisely why you broke it off before it got too deep, because it got too deep way too fast.

He thought of you too highly when, at that time, you were too low to be anything above a grey area.

Aren’t you afraid I’ll forget you?

Just by asking you that, you never forgot Jungkook. He was the only one who seemed worried about that. Everyone else called you a heartless bitch or a dumb whore who was making a mistake. But Jungkook asked you if you were afraid that he would lose your memory, as if it was valuable enough to be tarnished.

Life worked in mysterious ways.

The happening of you seeing Hyungu’s name on a poster was by chance. The choice to go to that concert back then was on a whim. The chance of Hyungu recognizing you and coming to find you, dragging you to his bandmates that all yapped excitedly around you as if no time had passed was surprising. You had always thought they had forgotten or resented you on some level. After all, you didn’t have a working phone for a while since you couldn’t pay for a plan. You had essentially ghosted them for years, but Hyungu acted as if you had always been there. I’ll never forget that you took good care of me, noona. There was no way you could even attempt to date Kang Hyungu. How could you ruin a relationship that he kept preserved so preciously when you abandoned it? He spoke highly of you even when you hadn’t been around, even when you had been too busy being selfish and self-centered. He smiled at you and relied on you once again because he trusted that you could be relied on. You would sigh and be hauled around by these young loons and support their blooming music career as you got your footing and made it to a better desk job with better pay.

And, by some fate, being close to Kang Hyungu caused you to cross paths with Jeon Jungkook once again.

Weird, eh?

You lowered your phone, staring up at the ceiling.

Well, life was full of coincidences, right? There was no reason to think this was a special event. After all, you had been trying your best to forget that time in your life where you felt the most lost. It took a lot of pushing past your own stubbornness to realize that how your parents felt about you had nothing to do who you were. Accepting that you weren’t the worst fuckup ever to exist, thanks to the saving grace of someone who remembered to call you noona in an endearing way and not in an obligated way. It would be counterproductive to…

Jeon Jungkook’s smiling face flashed in your mind.

You only had one orb-shaped lamp on currently. It was one of those that you could set the lighting color and tone to your taste. You liked the low, moody, cool blue lighting. Besides, you knew the layout of your apartment by now, and the overhead lighting wasn’t necessary unless you needed to look for something.

The orb shone like the moon.

Jungkook had known such a different version of you and yet he still smiled at you like that.

“You must have somebody, don’t you?” you sighed to the shining moon.

It was silly to think too much about a random conversation. And, really, all he wanted to know was if you still found him hot or whatever. Yeah, he was just looking for external validation. You just happened to be there. Tattoos and piercings and working out? Sounded like a quarter life crisis to you. One that worked out in his favor, though. Your skin prickled with goosebumps, but it wasn’t from a tangible cold.

In the darkness, the moon-shaped light glowed brightly.

“It would be nice if you had somebody.”

You frowned and turned your back to the light.

It was a coincidence. Another moment of going through life and realizing you had been climbing Penrose stairs all along. How different were you from back then, really? It wasn’t as if you magically started getting into relationships and had a damn epiphany. The cruel epiphany was that we were all stuck in this endless loop of our respective pasts catching up to the present. No amount of heat could dissipate the coldness of the future.

You sighed, melting into the comfort of your cool bedsheets.

“I should just forget about Jeon Jungkook,” you mumbled.

Whatever.

Wasn’t like you were ever gonna see him again.

You dozed off.

Your phone vibrated against your chest.

-

“You idiot, you know you have no tolerance…”

“Noona, it was so fun, ahahaha…”

The air was cold. The sting of winter clung to his cheeks. He called out her name, feeling like the sound was drowned out by the cars and white noise in his head, but, once again, Jeon Jungkook completely forgot how loud he was.

Passersby jumped as he ran past clutching a guitar bag.

Her arms were wrapped around a blue-haired man who was dwarfing her frame. He looked half-asleep and too proud of himself but that was probably under the influence of alcohol and good vibes. She jolted, startled, her eyes widening as Jungkook skidded to a questionably close stop in front of them, nearly colliding into her.

In fact, he did.

“Woah!”

“Yah!”

He threw an arm out and around them, snapping back to hold the three of them up, pressing the guitar bag to her chest. There they were, a bundle of people who somehow ended up like this with a guitar cuddled between them, standing in the middle of the sidewalk at midnight with nightlife bystanders staring at them like they were all insane. At least Kang Hyungu was completely oblivious. Come to find out during dinner, he had low alcohol tolerance. Less than a soju bottle low. Welp. Nobody had believed him and he had given in a bit. At least he had the backup plan of a close friend picking him up. The group of guys had all stayed at the restaurant, making sure he was safe until she arrived, flushed and windswept, bowing repeatedly in thankfulness.

Therefore, Kang Hyungu was blissfully unaware of the sudden awkwardness of past lovers staring at each other with their stunned faces millimeters from each other.

Jungkook froze, holding her tight.

“H… His guitar…”

Her lips parted but no sound came out.

In his shock, he had only now realized she had removed her makeup. His heartbeat leapt to his throat, suddenly remembering how much he had loved the shape of her eyes and the color of her natural, full lips. How her cheeks seemed more filled out now. Healthier. Her skin glowed. He could almost…

Almost.

His body shivered.

She blinked, casting her eyes down. “Oh, shit, how could I forget… T-Thank you. He would be heartbroken without his precious guitar,” she breathed out quickly and exasperatedly, reaching up to grab the strap. “Thank you. Sorry to trouble you.”

“It’s o-okay…”

Jungkook reluctantly peeled away from her, taking a step back. There was an awkward moment of her still holding onto her friend and shouldering the guitar, juggling between the two. Even in that short moment, Jungkook realized Kang Hyungu must work out. He was not as light as he seemed. Instinctively, Jungkook reached out and held Hyungu’s shoulders when the guitar slipped from her narrow shoulder.

“Aw, fuck–”

Jungkook almost laughed at her puffed cheeks and under-the-breath swearing.

Almost, because his heart ached suddenly.

She had been so cute when she was mad, even if it was being taken out on him. He always thought that, so it had always been hard to argue when he was trying not to be in love with those cheeks.

“Sorry, I got him,” she sighed. “I’ll get him home even if I have to drag him.”

“I’ll help you, noona.”

She froze with her arms around another man. Her eyes darted and fixated on him.

Jungkook realized his mistake and also froze.

He had been calling her formally by name out of politeness until now. The same way strangers would address each other with no intention of ever meeting again. The honorific had just slipped out naturally. Or unnaturally, depending on how one considered the effects of alcohol. The blue-haired guitarist was half-asleep on her shoulder. There were only two conscious souls under this streetlamp on this cold night.

A diffused spotlight.

He sputtered. “S… Sorry, was that too informal…?”

Her gaze shifted. Were her cheeks pink from the crisp air or was it his eyes playing tricks on him? “No, it’s fine, I just…” She shook her head, swallowing hard. “It’s been a while since you… It’s okay,” she chuckled, the corner of her lips rising. “I mean, I would be pissed if you called me anything else. Our age difference is not that significant, but it’s there.”

“Y-Yeah.”

Was there hope in those shadowy eyes or was it all in his mind?

“Don’t you have to go home too?”

He grinned.

“Ah, I stay up until three in the morning every night anyway. Let’s get Hyungu-ssi home.”

-

Which was how you ended up on a bus with not-so-little-anymore Kang Hyungu snoring on your left shoulder and your past fling Jeon Jungkook on your right.

Awkward.

You clutched Hyungu’s guitar bag like your life depended on it. Actually, deep down you were kind of glad it somehow ended up this way. Being on a bus at midnight meant the crowd was the unpleasant kind. It must have been an odd sight. Sleeping Hyungu by the window, you in the middle seat holding a very expensive guitar, and Jungkook at the aisle being a great big buffer to keep the unsavory folk away. He was wearing a thick black parka over his charcoal sweat set, and he had his hood up to protect his ears from the cold.

For some reason, his jaw was clenched.

His eyebrows were furrowed too, giving him a very mean appearance for no reason. Or, at least, no discernable reason you could conclude. He wasn’t looking at anyone in particular as far as you could tell.

“Sorry about this,” you suddenly said.

Jungkook flinched and turned his head to look at you. Instantly, his expression burst into life, the stern expression melting away into sparkling big peepers and pink lips in a small ‘o’, making your breath catch as the small mole under his lip appeared.

You used to kiss that mole first before you kissed his lips.

Used to.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he replied with a smile.

“I feel like I cut your night short.”

He gave you a lopsided grin, scratching his cheek. “Eh, I can go to the club or karaoke bar some other time. And maybe I need to not be so easily influenced, ahahaha…”

You hummed. “Guess you’re still the same, going along with our people’s suggestions.”

He puffed his cheeks. “No, I’m not. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?” he shot back.

Pause.

You both looked away at the same time.

Hyungu snored softly in your ear.

Thanks for that, man.

You tried to ignore the creeping goosebumps along your back. It was not the outside temperature. You were wearing your big black leather jacket over the black sweatshirt and jeans you yanked on to quickly get out the door. Your shoulder bumped into Jungkook’s as the bus stopped and let some passengers off. It was still a few stops yet of this awkwardness. For fuck’s sake, you were the older one. Come on. You resisted the urge to slap your own cheeks to get a grip. Nothing is going on here. The heart palpitations were in your head. Yeah. Totally.

“Thank you, again.”

You felt him shift, sitting up straighter. “I really don’t mind at all, noona.”

You sat up too, casting him a sideways half-smile.

He bit the left side of his lip, mumbling.

“I never minded doing anything for you.”

A strange tingling sensation danced over your scalp and down your shoulders. Sigh. He was doing this on purpose, right? One look and of course not. You shut your eyes. Maybe you could just make up a reason to hate him. You thought you had lost him under other bodies and darker nights and bad decisions. You thought he hated you for ending it the way you did, so coolly and unfeelingly. You thought.

“Have you been happy, Jungkook?”

You felt him hesitate. You could almost remember how he smelled back then. Like crisp linens and bright cotton. He loved fabric softener and similar clean scents. Have you been happy after me? You hoped so. In retrospect, you had been such a small, meaningless part in this winding road of life.

“I… I guess? I’m doing things I like to do. I feel like I’m able to live more freely, and I figure I can just… keep doing what I’m good at.”

You smiled.

“That’s good.”

You opened your eyes.

“What about you, noona?”

Have I been happy?

Did you even know what that meant? And yet you felt the weight of precious Hyungu’s head against your shoulder. Someone who relied on your good heart wholeheartedly. Never mind your opinion of if your heart was good or not, or even there. Happy? You went to work. You enjoyed your hobbies like music and games. You stayed home and shopped online when you were bored. You had the money to buy your favorite snacks and you had the luxury to have poor time management to eat them at midnight and wake up puffy the next day.

You had a very simple life that your younger self could barely dream of.

I don’t want to end up like my parents.

Was that why you didn’t want to be in a relationship?

“Noona?”

You looked up suddenly, noticing your surroundings. Quickly pulled on the cord to create the gentle bell tone.

“We need to get off here.”

-

Somehow, Jungkook ended up in a stranger’s corner apartment surrounded by vinyl, boxed CD albums, and music equipment. It was on a lower floor so at least they didn’t have to climb any stairs to get to the front door. The living room area was less like a living room and more like a half-music studio, complete with guitars, speakers, and a computer with lots of expensive looking music equipment around it. The surrounding walls had black foam squares taped neatly, even on the ceiling. The rest of the wall space was occupied by posters of various indie and mainstream bands. He was surprised to see the few plushies of penguins on the couch. Along the wall of the stairs were flyers that each had a corresponding nail that hung lanyards with plastic cards – artist passes. Festivals and concerts and such, each one containing a recurring name if he looked closely enough.

He, along with his past lover, helped the young man he had just met tonight into the bed in the loft area.

It was a small space.

Somehow, they managed being that close.

“Thanks, again,” she sighed, descending down the stairs in front of him. “You must be thirsty. There has to be some water around here.”

Somehow, Jungkook found himself standing in the hallways of a stranger’s apartment drinking a bottle of water as he watched the one who got away rip a memo note off a pad and scribble something down, finding a Pingu mug to sandwich it under.

Somehow.

She turned around and sighed, looking relieved. The guitar bag was on the sofa, safe and sound.

Then they stared at each other, realizing they were now alone.

Well, not alone.

Above them, Kang Hyungu was in dreamland.

“Ah…”

Her shoulders slumped.

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask how out of your way this was. I’ll pay for a taxi back.”

“Ah, no, that’s okay. I can make my way.”

“Don’t be like that,” she scolded, although not with much severity. “I can’t take advantage of your kindness.”

He paused, staring into her eyes. They hadn’t turned on too many lights. Enough to see, and then turned off most of them right away to avoid waking up the neighbors with the brightness. Only the warm bulb by the door was on now, illuminating them together.

“Noona, can I ask you something?” he asked softly, realizing his voice shook a little.

She lifted her head, pulling her hands out of her pockets.

“Yeah, of course. What is it?”

Have you ever been in love?

He looked at her, and he remembered the question she didn’t answer on the bus. They had been hurried and trying not to inconvenience anyone. Now that what about you was lost in the whirlwind of sights, sounds, in time past. Jungkook was pretty sure that he knew what the line of love and distraction was, but he found he had no real words to describe it. Only a feeling of sureness, just as he was sure that if he asked this question, have you ever been in love, he would be overstepping a boundary somehow.

Mostly because it seemed obvious.

And also because it was not fair to ask questions that he was personally invested in the answer and honestly didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer.

Had he ever been in love? Sure, although he knew it was always with the caveat of what he knew at the time and driven by the image painted by his own parents. A miracle that he had a chance to witness. He hadn’t really thought about how deeply seeing them interact affected him until he met her. She never spoke about her parents. It was like they didn’t exist. No photos, no calls, no casual drop-bys to hand over a home-cooked meal and say hi. In contrast, Jungkook had the unfortunately mortifying moment of being balls deep and then interrupted by his own mother right before the big finale. She just silently laughed while hiding behind the door as his mom attempted to enter his apartment, why are there clothes all over the floor, aish, I keep telling you that I didn’t teach you to be messy, and him trying to reassure her that everything was fine and he had to be somewhere soon.

Yeah.

Anyway.

It the time it had been embarrassing, but she had told him something that had, again, stuck with him for a long time after. You are lucky that she takes the time to bother you. Some people would do anything to have their parents care for their well-being just one more time. The realization had humbled him. Sorry. I didn’t know your parents passed away. But she had just shaken her head with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

No, Jungkook, they’re very much alive. They just never cared about me, ever.

He had felt very sorry then, but she had waved her hand and laughed.

Don’t be. I can’t miss something I’ve never had.

It was then that Jungkook realized that he believed in love because his parents were in love. It was later when Jungkook realized that he, too, had been in love, but this was only after he had stopped seeing her. Only after he stopped tasting her strong, concentrated flavor. The world had become a tasteless future despite all the color and saturation trying to grab his attention.

Because she had left.

It might have been short, but that time had been a forever-after packed into a few months.

Jungkook jumped as she tapped the back of his hand with her fingertip.

“Hello? Welcome back to Earth. Did you enjoy your time spacing out?”

She looked amused.

“Guess you haven’t changed from your random space-outs, heh,” she chuckled, taking his empty water bottle and tossing it in the recycling. Even removed the paper label and everything. “Come on. You shouldn’t be interrogating me in Hyungu’s apartment anyway.”

She ushered him out of the apartment and made sure to lock up behind herself. He wondered why she had a key. Then again, her and the guitarist were very clearly good friends. Jungkook wondered if it would still be like that if Hyungu or her started dating. Or, maybe not, if they ended up dating each other.

Suddenly, Jungkook felt incredibly helpless.

She bumped into him because he stopped walking, bouncing off. They were still in the narrow hallway, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb the neighbors at this late hour. The light in the hallway was warm and low. Not due to the night. More because the lightbulbs were generally old and shitty.

“Woah, what’s going on? You don’t know how to walk straight? Do you need a leash?” she whispered lightheartedly, coming around him.

He looked up.

It must have shown on his face because the playful laughter in her features immediately slipped away upon eye contact.

He had millions of unfair questions swirling in his mind, can we try again, is there something wrong with me, why did you leave me, and Jungkook knew he could ask none of them. For fuck’s sake, they had only just seen each other again tonight. He should just be happy they were together now, even in this platonic way. He should just be happy that she seemed healthy and content. He should just…

But you’ve always known me so well.

You aren’t hard to read, Jungkook, she used to laugh when they talked about how fast they had gotten into bed together.

She placed her hand on his elbow.

Dragged from his minty whirlwind memories and thrown into the present, Jungkook stared at her unreadable expression, but there were too many shadows and his vision was too clouded with what was.

“Come on. We can’t stay here,” she murmured gently, pulling him along.

-

“I’m not letting you go home alone. It’s not safe.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? Teleporting?” You scowled. “Besides, turns out your apartment is closer to here and mine is further down. It makes no sense for you to double back.”

One thing about Jeon Jungkook was that once he got an idea in his head, he was more stubborn than an ox. It was true back then when he was chasing after your ass and it was true right now. He was frowning at you and furrowing his eyebrows. The frustrated expression was broken by how big his dark brown eyes were.

“I keep telling you it’s not a big deal for me, noona. I don’t mind.”

“This isn’t about whether or not you mind,” you sighed grumpily. “It just doesn’t make sense. Fine. Fine, do whatever you want.”

Which was how you ended up in a taxi with Jungkook, crammed in the backseat of a tiny sedan with a grandpa who didn’t make small talk and blasted trot music. Well, it probably would have felt less tiny if Jungkook wasn’t right next to you like a big fabric blob. You hadn’t paid much attention to how crowded you had been on the bus since you were already weighed down by half-dead guitarist and his guitar. You had thought Hyungu had been playing up his drunkenness for the attention but he had thoroughly passed out by the time the bus had arrived. He was a lightweight so you weren’t super worried to leave him alone. Then again, you couldn’t tell Jungkook to get lost and leave you at another guy’s apartment, because what kind of message would that send?

Not that Jungkook’s opinion of how you spent your time mattered.

It had just felt rude, that was all.

You were kind of worried about him anyway. You witnessed him zoning out and simply standing there twice already. Boy was gonna get kidnapped one of these days. Sheesh. The car rolled to a stop. You paid the driver through the app and thanked him, getting a wordless nod in return. Cool. Opened the car door and climbed out, followed by a big shadowy blob.

Uh.

The car drove away.

“Jungkook, you should have asked him to drive you to your place,” you pointed out.

Those big brown eyes looked from your apartment complex to you. “Huh?”

Was the heck is on his mind? You sighed and pulled up the taxi app again. “Give me your address. I did say I’ll pay for it.”

“I, erm…”

You looked up at Jungkook’s uneasy tone. Confused. He looked uncomfortable and awkward, not really looking at you in the face.

“I kinda have to go.”

You blinked at him.

He waved his hands. “Eh, it’s fine. I’ll go find a bush or something. Um.”

“Jungkook, I’m not letting you pee in a bush. Do you see this place? You think they’ll let me continue living here after seeing on one of their cameras that my guest peed in a bush?”

He looked from the white walls to the stone fence to the black iron gate to the immaculately clean, very neatly trimmed, small ball-shaped bushes. They weren’t even knee-height. “I-I-I just don’t want you to t-think…” He shifted, wavering a bit. Eyes darting in every direction. “It was all the water and the alcohol earlier, um…” You sighed and turned around to punch in the code. “I didn’t want you to think I’m doing it on purpose.”

You paused.

Then you pushed the gate open and motioned him in.

“Come on before your piss yourself.”

Which was how you ended up sighing as you tossed your jacket onto your large charcoal sofa while Jungkook emptied his bladder in the bathroom of your apartment. At least you hoped that was what he was doing. You weren’t going to be a creep and try to listen for evidence. You flopped down, cozying into the soft but durable fabric. You wouldn’t have brought this couch if it wasn’t for the great deal and the ability for it to be modular, meaning you could lock the pieces together to make a bed and watch television, as well as also having the ability to make it look like an L-shaped sofa when you had guests over so that they didn’t know that you really put the potato in couch potato several times a week.

Hey.

Money well spent.

Of course, you usually only had very few guests over. Occasional one to warm the bed and maybe hosting Hyungu’s band members. Not at the same time. Duh. You weren’t trying to traumatize the five friends you had – Hyungu and the other four band members. Yeah. Wasn’t much, but they existed, even though they were busy right now being Korean men and all that. Soon, Hyungu would be egg-headed and off to duty too. You puffed out your cheeks. Temporary, of course, and yet.

Who knows what could happen?

You were always prepared to find yourself alone.

Wouldn’t be the first time to come home, only to realize home didn’t exist.

It never had.

You heard commotion and Jungkook reappeared, looking relieved. Probably because he was. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off.

You stood up.

You were past the wishing phase. The pretending phase. Past the numbness and looking for promises when there were none. Expectation was only the precursor to disappointment, after all. To be honest, if it wasn’t for your carnal sex drive, you would be past the distractions too. Good to know you weren’t completely ready to throw in the towel yet. If it wasn’t for someone relying on you, you as well have chosen to fade away.

If it wasn’t for…

You made eye contact with Jeon Jungkook, even though you didn’t want to.

Before today, you really wouldn’t have cared about seeing someone you used to date. Past was in the past. You had made a lot of bad decisions. So far, they hadn’t come back to haunt you yet. As you stared into those big brown eyes, frozen in place by your sudden attention, you wondered what you could say to assure him that you were different from back then. You could admit it now. You could admit back then you were weaker than anybody else, fighting your own demons by running away, wondering what was wrong with you to have parents who fought every day and did everything to run away from their internal struggles except the solution of divorce, and you could admit now that you took out that loss on everyone else around you, all the while knowing the reality.

That was just how life was, sometimes.

Life didn’t know fair and unfair. People made choices without caring about the consequences all the time. You didn’t care enough back then, because you knew you wouldn’t know what to do if they cared back. You knew you could never be beloved when you had nothing and no one to call home.

I don’t want to avoid reality, even if I’m afraid.

The past memories flickered like a whirling panorama – Jungkook nervous in front of you, trying to ask about how the automated system worked so he could get ramyeon with the soft-boiled egg at the PC bang in the dead of night. Playing computer games with him, laughing because he wasn’t very good but still trying for some reason. Learning that he wasn’t doing very well in university and that he was trying to do the escapism thing while working on his video editing business on the side. Sharing a bed with him, not saying anything about how all your belongings only fit in one duffel bag. He didn’t have to know. His face between your hands. Kisses that took his worries away. Body to body, warm for the first time in a long time. Your fingertips walking up his chest, all the way to his rattling heartbeat, turning a simple night into a fantasy.

The thought of your actions having any positive effect seemed foreign and impossible.

But maybe that was the victim mentality talking.

“Can I ask you something, Jungkook?”

He looked surprised. “M…Me?”

You hooked your thumbs into the belt loops of your jeans, doing something with your hands so they wouldn’t fidget about. Even now, he was the same. There was still this persistent innocence about him, stubbornly sticking around as if he could be young forever. He still believed in something, even if life kept trying to tell him time and time again that it wasn’t true.

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

You saw the whirlwind flash through his eyes.

Guilt. Nervousness. Uncertainty. Helplessness, wondering if he was asking for something that could never be given. He was still so easy to read. Those big brown eyes couldn’t hide anything and it wasn’t his nature to lie. There were stars in his eyes.

Those stars were tears.

“You said… You said you can’t feel love,” he shuddered, blinking hard.

There wasn’t much space between you and him. Somewhere around a meter. But it felt like light-years of desolate space and sudden heartache from a heart you weren’t sure you had. Maybe you were born with one, but all flowers wither with no care. You were the desert and he was the ocean, at least in the emotional sense.

You wanted to insist.

I can know love!

But, could you?

You collected a breath and nodded. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for back then. For using you, even though you probably don’t think you were used. For breaking the unspoken promise I couldn’t understand.”

Jungkook looked back at you. His voice small, stranded and lost.

“I have never fallen in love after you, noona.”

You were different now, you told yourself, but maybe you weren’t really and that was the problem.

“It’s impossible to fall in love when I have always been in love with you.”

You opened your mouth to tell him that was silly. It had only been a couple months. You hadn’t even really been that attentive. It had been a short-lived romance, if you could call fucking constantly and gaming at the PC bang at three in the morning that. A fleeting gratification. A sharp burst that lit up the timeline of a very long and eventful life that Jeon Jungkook would have. Nothing more.

Just…

A pop of peppermint gum.

You had meaningful relationships. Ones that taught you things about yourself and people. Maybe even ones that other people could consider love, depending on what their definition was.

But, then there was…

Jungkook.

You opened your mouth to tell him he was silly but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Had it been love?

And could it still be love?

“You… You don’t even know what I’m like now,” you blew out, suddenly feeling winded. “I could be a total asshole.” You looked away, tucking your tongue in your cheek.

“But I helped you make sure you got your friend and his guitar home safe?” Jungkook questioned, sounding confused. “Would a total asshole would do that?”

“I don’t know,” you rambled, not so sure about anything anymore. “I mean… you’ve only just met me again after how long?”

“A really long time,” Jungkook answered, frown in his tone.

“Yeah, exactly.” You latched on, not caring that he didn’t even calculate it. “How do you know it’s not rose-tinted glasses and all that?”

He shrugged. Glanced at you. “I don’t really think I have the brainpower for that, noona.”

You stared at him.

Jungkook shrugged again.

You shook your head. “You can’t say that about yourself.”

He scratched his cheek, looking sheepish. “At least I know where I’m still lacking?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “No, you–”

He beat you to it.

“Do I have to understand?”

You froze, realizing you had taken a few steps towards him, perhaps in hopes of shaking some sense into him. This was crazy. This didn’t make any sense. This was only a coincidence turned convoluted by memories, tangled emotions, circumstance…

“My mind might forget, but my body always remembered. There is only you for me.”

Your head snapped up, seeing his soft smile. The recall was so fierce that it was déjà vu, except you had been the one with the gentle smile and he had been the one lost, wondering if you were afraid of losing his love. Now. His short black hair a little windswept, his dark brown eyes a little glassy, and yet he smiled at you, mole peeking out from under the center of his lower lip. Do I have to understand? To understand was to know and to know was to be sure that you were in love, except that you said so yourself that sometimes the thoughts didn’t quite catch up to the heart.

He looked embarrassed, abruptly looking away, letting out a shaky breath.

“It’s just… I think I knew it all along but, even if I know, it doesn’t mean I can change your mind, ha… ha, can you imagine, running off to track you down, you would just think I’m crazy, and if I jeopardized your happiness for my own selfishness, I don’t think I could live with myself… and, anyway…”

He wasn’t really looking at anything anymore.

“Even if what I wanted was ugly, our time was beautiful.”

You stepped forward.

“It’s a common, basic story, isn’t it? My wish for us to be exceptional is too foolish,” Jungkook laughed weakly. Rambling. Speaking from his heart but still unable to focus on the present.

You reached forward.

“I wanted everything about you. I still do.”

Your fingertip touched his cheek.

“Don’t cry,” you finally said.

He froze.

You wiped away a fallen star, the overhead lights of your apartment catching the tears before Jungkook even realized they were there. You brushed the droplet away, but they were falling, falling, and he turned his head, still not really registering what was happening, even as the base of your palms pressed into his cheeks and swept his tears away, quickly breathless as you were captured by the universes entangled in his eyes. You could feel the wetness on your skin. The shudder in his breath. His hands came up to touch your wrists, and you still believed you couldn’t be enough for him, even now, but your body responded on its own, cradling his face, bringing him to you.

“Please don’t cry,” you said again, softly, and realized you said it because, a long time ago, you would have done anything to have someone tell you that in the past, please don’t cry. So, you told Jungkook instead.

He was someone as precious as a memory.

And, yes, even if your thoughts didn’t catch up right away, you pulled him to you, body to body, feeling him shiver, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t very manly of me, and like clockwork you told him to shut up and cry, holding him because you remembered he liked to be held. You had told him back then that you weren’t really the type to cuddle, but he had finally confessed late one night that he yearned to be close to you, even if only for a little while, and that he had been afraid to admit it in fear of pushing you away. So, you relented, if only to comfort him and make him happy.

Is that love?

“It’s okay to cry,” you murmured gently, stroking his hair. “It’s just not okay to cry alone.”

He buried his eyes into your shoulder and wept.

He was still in his jacket, swamping you with his frame and excess layers. You placed your arms around his waist under his parka, feeling his warm and shaking frame, gently placing your hands on his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry… I-I don’t k-know why I’m c-crying…”

“Shh…”

You tugged him along. Step by step, and made him sit on the sofa with you, curled up in a tangle of limbs with your hands on his back. His body was hot from emotion, and he pulled his arms out of his jacket to wipe his nose and eyes with his hoodie sleeves, still not looking at you, and you gave him the privacy, not looking at him either, only holding him as close as possible and keeping his parka on his shoulders, covering you and him together.

“T-This wasn’t how… I t-thought… how I would be hugging you a-again…” Jungkook sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against your shoulder.

You held him close.

“Yeah, well, nothing is really turning out how you or I planned it. Mostly because neither of us had a plan to begin with.”

He laughed, albeit feebly and wetly, but you just smiled and placed your hand on his head again, running your fingers through his hair. You didn’t have a grand speech planned. You didn’t even really know the right words to say or the correct way to organize your thoughts. You simply leaned him against you, nestled in the cushions, and kept your arms wrapped around him for a long, long time.

-

click here for part ii

--

masterpost

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 7 (e.w)

hi c:

wc;cw 15.4k, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, angst, brief mentions of therapy and depression, FLUFF :D, underage drinking, weed, three smut scenes omfg MDNI!!!, fingering, eating out no buffalo wild wings, strapons, vibrators, scratching, choking, some pain kink lol, some switch!ellie i’m barking, dubcon(they r drunk), nipple play, exhibitionism😳, more music references hi 21, lots of descriptions of sex bc they’re horny n in love, this is pretty cute tbh

THEME FOR THE PART GET INTO ITTTTTT

Ellie heard your sister before she’d seen her. 

She was mindlessly talking to Elijah about the small, recurring glitch she kept hearing in her mix when she heard her boisterous laugh. She stiffened like she heard the whisper of a ghost, Isaiah’s goofy personality pulling giggles out of her mouth as the bar door closed behind them. 

The second their eyes met, Ellie saw your sister’s pupils get overshadowed by shock, then sorrow, then anger. A nasty, uncontrollable anger that she could only watch fester within her. 

Everything happened so fast: Ellie couldn’t hear any of your sister, Isaiah, or Elijah’s shouts over the pounding in her head, until your sister rushed her like she owed her a sum. Ellie immediately went into defense mode at your sister’s bucks; She did not want to fucking fight her, that’s the last thing she wanted, but if that’s what she wanted, so be it. 

Of course, Jesse and Dina were about to let them scrap by any means, so they trapped Ellie behind their bodies while Isaiah held your sibling back, speaking into her ear to calm her… was your sister the girl he always talked about? Was Isaiah the guy you claimed she was seeing? What the fuck! 

Your sister was screaming obscenities at her, but she couldn’t give a fuck— all she could think about was you. Where the fuck did Anthony take you? Were you okay? Fuck, she hoped you weren’t seeing this—

The fuck are you doing here? 

Ellie couldn’t explain the pain that exploded in her chest when she saw you standing near the bar's main hallway: you looked so hurt, so scared of what your sister was going to do until Dina calmed her down enough so she could leave without hassle.

Ellie didn’t want you to talk to your sister by herself, and even though she knew that being within ten feet of your sibling would get her touched, she wanted to make sure you were monitored properly. It took Jesse's strong grip on her arm to stop her from following you out into the rain. 

“Ellie, let her fucking handle it! This isn’t your fight, what the fuck!” 

She didn’t fucking care! She didn’t, she didn’t! You needed her there with you! She thrashed in his grip, gritted out protests, she was this close to biting his fucking arm off! —

“Ellie… Ellie, look at me!” 

Her resistance stilled at the soft hands on her burning cheeks, her hoarse breaths hitting Dina’s face as she looked at her with concerned eyes. She spoke before she could stop herself.  

“Tell him to get off me,” she felt her teeth grinding together in her mouth. 

Dina’s calm voice cut through the roaring sound in her ears. “I’m not telling him that. Please, tell me what’s going on? She's not going to fight her baby sister.” 

Her fists clenched tight. “I fucking know that! You know how fucking overwhelmed she gets, why the fuck did you let her go out there by herself to begin with?!” 

Dina’s hands dropped from her face in agitation. “She said she could handle it, so let her! She’s not a fucking baby anymore, why don’t you trust that she can hold her own?!” 

Ellie didn’t reply as she looked into Dina’s expecting gaze. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose as she felt the tension in her shoulders dissipate, making Jesse let up his grip on her. 

She let out another heavy exhale before she spoke shakily, “It’s… It’s not that I don’t trust her. I don’t want her dealing with shit that she can’t handle by herself. That’s fucking it.” 

“How do you know she can’t handle it!” 

Ellie didn’t have an answer for her: she knew that she trusted your judgment without any doubts, but she promised herself that she would always show up for you regardless of if you could handle it on your own or not. She already abandoned you once, and she promised you that she’s never going to let it happen again. She slowly turned her gaze to Isaiah, meeting his frantic eyes. 

“Why the fuck did you bring her here!” 

“Don’t fucking get mad at me! I didn’t think it would be a fucking problem, I don’t even know what’s going on!” 

She let out an exasperated sigh as she shook her head. She knew Isaiah wasn’t at fault for this blow up, —how could he have known that they had beef! — but she was still pissed, “I’ll… I’ll tell you everything later, alright?” 

She brushed past her friends and towards the exit, ignoring their calls of her name. The second she pushed the door open, her ears were instantly filled with your choked wails coming from the parking lot of the bar, and she bolted towards the sound of your cries before she could think. 

She could see you grabbing at your chest like you were trying to tear your own heart out as you attempted to catch your breath, trails of tears rolling down your cheeks as you sobbed. She reached for you and tried to calm you down, tried to get you to breathe with her, but you weren’t listening, shaking your head at her, and desperately grasping at her arms. 

Dina and Jesse had followed her to help lead you back inside, wrapping their arms around your trembling frame to guide you towards the entrance. 

They sat you down in the chair you’d been sitting in the whole night as Ellie tried to talk you down. She watched you wail like you were in excruciating pain, and tears jerked in her own eyes. She could only whisper comfort to you as she pulled her close. 

You just cried, and all she could do was hold you. 

Your sister was absolutely distraught after that night at the bar. 

She raced home, jerkily parking her car as she sobbed all the way up the stairs of her apartment building. She couldn’t stop fucking crying. Her phone had been ringing off the hook the entire drive, calls from Isaiah, Dina, and Jesse bleating in her tossed purse. She didn’t care, she didn’t give a fuck about any of them. Fuck them, fuck you! 

How could you do this to her?! She’d sacrificed everything she knew, everyone she loved so that you could be comfortable! She never failed to place your security above all else in every situation, and you turn around and do this? Fraternize with the fucking enemy?! 

… She needed to smoke so fucking badly. 

She cut her pacing around the living room short as she stomped towards her purse. She dug around for her phone to turn it off, but she saw the all too familiar baby fawtha🧑🏾‍🦱👅🥰 across her screen. 

Why the fuck did Isaiah even bring her there in the first place? 

She remembered how excited he looked the entire drive over to the bar: rambled about how excited he was to see the owner again, boasted about his mix, about how talented and cool his ‘good friend’ is, how badly he wanted your sister to meet her. 

Y’all would get along so well. You’re just fucking alike, swear to god! Crazy asses. 

Your sister declined the call before turning her phone off, fresh tears searing in her eyes as she tossed her belongings on the floor and kicked her shoes off. She couldn’t ignore the emptiness in her soul, a vacant space that hadn’t closed in hopes that the girl that used to fill it would ease back into her life someday. But she was too prideful, too bull-headed. 

She’d convinced herself to never admit it, but she was still mourning the loss of her best friend years later. Her fucking family. 

Your sister tried to ignore the painful pang in her chest when she recalled her ex-friend's shocked face when she walked in, but she couldn’t. 

She just cried. 

TWO MONTHS LATER

Before you and Arya returned to campus, Ellie watched you like a hawk. She made sure you were eating, cleaned, and comforted. She even offered you and your best friend a ride all the way back to campus, but you politely declined, saying that you needed time to think on your own. She understood completely and held you all the way up until you called Arya to come pick you up. She surrounded you with affection and care, and you didn’t want to leave her embrace. You’ll never forget how close she held you, taking in your scent and you, hers. You heard her release the gentlest I love you into your shoulder, and tears gathered in your eyes when you held her closer. 

She made sure to reach out to you multiple times a week, asking how you were doing, if you needed anything. She even made you smile with her jokes on occasion, you wished she was here with you. 

Arya has been so sweet as always, making sure to console you whenever she has free time (it’s her last semester! you’re so proud of her), and while you were so thankful for her patience and attentiveness, you desired some time for yourself. You’ve been managing for a couple of weeks now; You were still heartbroken, but you would survive. 

You threw yourself into composing the second you returned to campus. You practiced and practiced until the tips of your fingers were scabbed and numb, symphonies ringing in your head before you passed out in your bed every night. Tchaikovsky would be impressed by the darkness that surrounded you.

You haven’t seen or spoken to your sister since she cursed you out and left you in the middle of the wet parking lot. She hasn't returned your bouts of apologetic text messages or phone calls, has been inactive on all her social media, and you only hear about her life through your mother’s joyous rambles on the phone. You were almost scared to return home for the summer in a couple weeks; Would your unsuspecting mother be curious as to why your sister hadn’t stopped by the house to see you? You hoped she didn’t have any of her random family dinners planned for the next three months, you wouldn’t be able to bear seeing your sister's disgusted face whenever she looked at you. 

You missed her terribly, and you hoped she could forgive you someday. 

You locked yourself in your campus’s small rehearsal room, the tiny space littered in eggshell paint and stocked with one classical piano and microphone. 

Your peers barely came in here due to its nearly constricting size, but you loved how closed off it was. It became your little escape destination since you found it a month ago, and the four opaque walls brought you a strange sense of comfort. 

You were tuning your violin, preparing to mimic Stravinsky on The Rite of Spring as you listened to students pass through the hallway on the other side of the door. 

You propped your woodwind onto your shoulder and immediately played the screechy opening notes of Ritual of Abduction, the shrilling, nearly erratic melody filling the room. Thank god for soundproof walls! 

The world around you slowly disappeared as you were launched into your tiny universe, the one that you dominated. The shrieking swallowed you whole, took over your body, made you feel invincible! How could someone make the lightness of Springtime sound so disastrous! 

It was aggressive, it was loud, and you could feel the power rushing through you. Music was everything to you, it was yours, you would never let it go!

You weren’t even following the notes of the sheet paper you memorized anymore, playing completely from instinct as your eyes closed. You couldn’t even tell if it sounded terrible or not, but you didn’t care. You just played and played until your fingers burned. Played with anger and sadness and love. Played for your mother, your best friends, Ellie, your sister. Your sister, you missed her so much! —

You nearly jumped into the air at your professor's voice, the wails of your woodwind coming to a halt. You spun and was met with his curious expression, “Hey, sorry, I came to get another pair of headphones, I would’ve knocked if I knew someone was in here! “

You dropped your instrument from your shoulder, “No! No, no, it’s fine, I was just leaving, actual— “

“Sorry, I didn’t know you played violin, that’s dope!”

“Uh, yeah, I… uh, I’ve played for a while,” you couldn’t ignore the heat that took over your face at the compliment. Even though you’ve grown accustomed to reading them online, you were always stunned when you received them from the people around you. 

“Damn. So, d’you compose, too, or?” 

“… Sometimes, yeah. I-I just started.” 

“That’s crazy! How come you never participate in the events we have, man?”

Your eyes darted to the wall before returning to his. “Uh… M’too scared to,” you said bluntly.

You expected him to laugh at your pitiful admission, but his brows furrowed in concern as he gently shut the door behind him. “Okay… do you mind if I sit for a second?” 

“… Sure,” you gave in and set your violin down on the piano as you shrugged, grabbing two folded chairs that were up against the wall. 

You handed him one before you moved to the empty side of the room, “So, talk to me! What’s been going on with you? I’ve been a little concerned these last couple of weeks, not gonna lie.” 

You sighed heavily, “Just… just family stuff, y’know.” 

“I feel you. What you were playing was kinda… y’know…” 

You huffed out a laugh. “Depressing?” 

“I didn’t say it!” He said jokingly. You smiled softly. 

“But honestly,” his tone got more serious. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, especially here. Everyone’s trying to improve so they can be their best selves. Whether it’s live music or not. That’s literally the whole point!” 

You nodded, but stayed quiet, listening intently, “I know it can be really scary, trust me, everyone that works here has been in your position! But nothing feels better than watching people appreciate and enjoy your creation. It’s… it’s unexplainable. I would hate for you to leave this experience without feeling that at least once.” 

You digested his advice. Next semester would be your last, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit remorseful. You’ve gone an entire two years—fuck, two decades—ducking from opportunities that people gave you to play for them, and it has done nothing but keep you in a hole of self-loathing and doubt. The disappointment was starting to set in: you were in the exact same place you were when you were a kid. Have you really stunted your own growth this terribly? 

“Y’knooow, we still have our little Fall festival next term. Nothing scary, it’s like a high school talent show with some seasoning. Lawry’s!” He suggested goofily.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. You nodded as you looked at him, “I’ll think about it— “

“No more of that! You’re going, and you’re performing! Say it, c’mon!” He brought his hand up to his ear that was pointed towards you. 

You tsked with a smile, “C’mon, dude.” 

“We’re not leaving till I hear it! I’ll nail that door shut!” 

“… M’going and performing,” you mumbled. 

“Sorry, I thought I heard something! What was that!”

“I'm going and performing!” 

“Going and performing where!” 

“The Fall festival!” 

He nodded in satisfaction as he stood from his seat, “I’m holding you to that! If you don’t go, you’re not getting your degree!” 

He walked towards the door before turning to you, speaking in a hushed tone, “Oh! Tell your roommate to check her gahtdamn e-mail!” 

You laughed harder, “I will!” 

“See ya, man. Don’t waste this.”  

You waved as he gently shut the door behind him, leaving you in your thoughts. 

You looked over to your violin on the piano as you sighed. 

Its brow was raised at you, awaiting your decision. 

Your thoughts raced. 

The semester came to a close, and you and Arya were on your way home. 

She’s been so excited the entire train ride: jabbering about her future in writing and producing, how she’s about to become world renowned in the industry, how she’s going to die a musical legend! You were so excited for her; you couldn’t wait to follow wherever her creativity led her. 

The closer you got to your hometown, the more nervous you felt. 

What the hell was going to happen when you walked into your home? Your mother sounded so excited to see you on the phone before you departed, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about your sister. 

Your thoughts were cut when your phone dinged on the small table in front of you, Ellie’s contact popping up. Your mood brightened a bit. 

hiiiii :3 cant wait 2 see u miss u so fucking bad 

A small grin grew in your face. You carefully unlocked your phone, mindful of your sleeping friend's head laid on your shoulder. 

miss u too :(((( 

u home yet? 

no we still got 2 hours to go!! moms coming w dessert u know how she is

🥺🥺save me some? 

LOOOOOOOL u hate bread pudding 

not hers! >:) she shouldve dropped that cook book eons ago 

TEAAAA 

omg when am i gonna see u :(

still in cali baby :((( 

u free on 4th of july weekend? fuck america but u know

yeyeyeye

LOOL idk if you’d b willing to fly out but we’re turning up!! sai n all our friends r having this little beach party but we’re making a weekend out of it everyone’s going :p come w us🥺

dee n jesse r coming too!!!! 

we don’t have 2 go if u don’t wanna but i think it’d be fun :p

Your thumbs hovered over the small keyboard at the mention of Isaiah. You wondered what he thought about all that’s happened; Him and your sister seemed to be so happy whenever you saw them together. Were they still together? Were they even official to begin with? You hardly knew anything about their bond, and it saddened you. You missed your sister. 

But you also recognized how these episodes took over your entire being. You hated how your downward spirals left you feeling worthless. 

Before the semester ended, you reached out to your therapist and told her about what happened over Spring Break. It’d been a while since you spoke to her, but that particular meeting was one of the most vulnerable ones you’ve had in a long time. Instead of placing emphasis on the devastation you felt like you usually would’ve, you asked for some of the first steps of becoming… better. As a person, as a musician, as a girlfriend, everything. You needed this for yourself: you were tired of feeling so… empty. There were moments where you were so full of life, so elated and bright and hopeful for the future, only to come crashing back down to your dark reality because of your own insecurities. You’re sick of hyper-fixating on your imperfections and shortcomings. Your journey of self-love is incredibly overdue, and you were preparing to be softer with yourself. You vowed that you wouldn’t neglect yourself or your aspirations anymore! 

If your sister was going to hate you for falling in love with Ellie, then there's nothing you could do about it anymore. You prayed that wasn’t the case, but you were willing to accept the consequences for her, even if it meant losing the person closest to you. 

Your therapist swore to hold you to that. 

You’ve never flown on a plane before, but the opportunity of a new experience was slowly luring you in. People always talk about how fun California is during the summer, and one of your favorite people is going to be with you the entire time! 

… Why the hell not? 

i wanna go 

who’s buying that plane ticket tho 😳

AHHHHHHHHEJWJJW

me tf

i brought some of my dicks out here YESSIIRRR

LFMMMFAOAOOO ur a dumbass 

but☺️☺️need that tbh 

word? 

word🙄 don’t b annoying 

gonna fuck u so good 

ur so good at eating pussy 

gonna make love to yo u 

WHEN WE MAKE LOOOVEEEE YOU GO AWWWAWWWAWWW 

YOUREJW STUPIIDDDKSOW 

GET OFF MY PHONE DICK

LOOOOOOOL 

titty pic first? i gotta headache 🤕 

UR BLOCKED

mmm fuuuuck keep being mean im gnna cuuuum uhhhhh

i love u 

kiss 

UR GAY!!!! DISGUSTING!!! 

jk love u baby 

sososo much 

mineminemine

mwwwwwwAH!

mwahmwahwamhwahhhhmwwah 

lmk when u get in town!! 

i will stinky!!! ily 

love uuuuu 

You were cheesing so hard until you heard a sleepy chuckle come from beside you. Your cheeks burned even harder as you placed your phone face-down on the table. Curse Arya and her nosiness! 

“Y’all are so… fucking… gay. I hate queer bitches.” 

“Shut up!”

Your best friend laughed into your shoulder even louder. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since you’d been home, but you were having the time of your life. 

After Starr and Kris returned to town, the four of you went everywhere together: the fair, out to brunch and dinners, to the movies, long drives with no destination. You even followed Kris to the gym once: you only lifted for fifteen minutes, but you tried, and that’s all that matters! You took every opportunity to spend time with your friends, and you enjoyed every second of it. You’ve never been this active on Instagram in your life! 

You also took the initiative to record yourself—your face included! — playing one of your own compositions, even though you haven’t posted it yet. The six-minute video was already edited and ready to go, but you didn’t want to rush yourself too quickly. You weren’t ready for your audience to hear it just yet, but you were getting there faster than you thought. You were determined to post it before the summer was over. 

Baby steps. 

There were only three days until you flew to California: trying to convince your mom to let you leave the state alone was almost impossible, but once you emphasized that you’d be staying with Ellie, she lightened up a bit. She was still very skeptical and demanded that you call her three times a day, but she eventually resigned and granted you permission. 

Starr and Kris were laid across your bed as they walked you through packing while Arya retwisted her hair in your bathroom, you sat on the floor rummaging through your drawers. 

“Bro, it’s fucking summer! Cali is like… nine-thousand degrees during this time, you need at least four bikinis!” 

You chuckled at Starr as you folded your rash guard, “I wanna try to surf, though. I don't want my boobs flying out.” 

“I bet that’d make your girl happy,” Kris added as she stuck her tongue out at you, making Arya and Starr snicker. 

You shook your head at them as your cheeks burned, “… Shut up.” 

Arya, of course, didn’t care. You heard her release fake, high-pitched moans of oh, Ellie! oh, god! I love you! harder, yeah! come from behind you as your two friends laughed harder. 

“I said shut up! My mom’s downstairs, have some couth!” Your face was burning, at this point. You couldn’t stand them, sometimes!  

“Whatever, can you smuggle drugs for us?” You heard Arya ask. 

“Facts! Pleeease bring me some Cali bud, I’m feening,” Starr said, gazing down at you with puppy eyes. 

You stared at her stoically, “If I get held up at the airport, I’m killing both of y’all when I get outta jail.” 

“… So that’s a yes! I wanna try Bubba Kush… Ooo, or wedding cake!” 

“You already smoke wedding cake, Ari,” Kris said blankly.

“… Okay? Cali wedding cake is probably better— “

Starr jumped in. “That’s not how it works—“

“Yes the hell it is— “

You and Kris shook your heads at each other as the two weedheads debated bud quality… again. 

You couldn’t wait to get strains for them to try so they would cut it out. 

Days later, you boarded the plane, and you sent your mom one last love uuu text before opening the messages between you and your sister. 

All the blue texts you sent were still left unread, and you sighed sadly. 

You typed and sent an i love you, the message showing up delivered. 

You put your phone on airplane mode when you got to your seat.

The flight to California had been… god awful. You now have a hatred for planes. 

Why did no one tell you that airplane bathrooms are uniquely disgusting? They might have porta-potties beat!

You were currently waiting outside of baggage claim for Ellie to come pick you up and… you completely understood why she sent a link to a How to Survive LAX guide on YouTube. This place was fucking crazy! The number of times you almost got trampled in a twenty-minute time span was impeccable; You were never traveling during any holiday again! 

The sun was setting, and the lights of the airport were damn near blinding you, but you were so excited to see Ellie and your friends. Your foot tapped in anticipation next to the curb as you clutched the handle of your luggage tightly. 

You suddenly heard a slew of honk!honk!honk!honk!s from in front of you, and your heart soared in your chest when your eyes connected with Ellie and Dina’s excited ones through the rolled down window. They hopped out of the car as quickly as they could, instantly enfolding you in a tight embrace and kissing your forehead and cheek, their scents surrounding you. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

“C’mon, lemme help you,” Ellie released you to grab your luggage and ran over to the trunk as Dina grabbed the duffel from your shoulder, scurrying over to climb into the back seat. 

Ellie jumped into the driver's seat as cars honked from behind her car, pressing the gas on accident and forcing the car to rev up. 

“Bitch, can you drive like you have sense? My baby’s in the fucking car!” Dina scolded from the back seat.

“Shut up,” Ellie threw over her shoulder before putting the car in drive and glancing at you. “Missed you so fucking much, holy fu—GET THE FUCK OUT THE WAY, PRICK!” 

You couldn’t hold in your laughs at Ellie’s road rage, “I swear to god, these fuckers don’t know how to drive!” 

You watched her clumsily swerve into the line of traffic, and you couldn’t help but squirm a little in your seat. She looked so good: Slipknot muscle tee, washed jeans, sneakers, her fucking arms and tattoo and bracelets and everything! She’s so fucking fine and she always smelled so good. How did you survive not seeing her for so long? 

She must’ve noticed your intense examination of her appearance because she turned to you, slowly licking her lips as she took you in. Her eyes were gazing over your entire body, all the way down to your sneakers and your thighs clenched together. 

PUT THAT DICK UP, WE NOT HUMPIN’! —

Dina’s body leaned onto the center console between you and Ellie, cranking up the radio before residing back to her seat behind you. You saw Ellie avert her gaze onto the road as she bit her lip, a red tint blending in with the freckles on her cheeks. 

You cheesed before looking out the window. 

Neither of you noticed Dina’s observant stares between the two of you. 

You, Dina, and Ellie stopped at her favorite dispensary to pick-up before she dropped Dina off at the hotel she was staying at for the weekend. She gave you a fat kiss on your cheek before she ran inside the… seemingly expensive building, leaving you and Ellie by yourselves. You slowly looked over at her: she looked so deep in thought, head rested back on the seat, fingers mindlessly tapping on the wheel, picking at her lip with her teeth. 

You spoke softly, brows pulled down in concern, “Ellie, you okay?” 

She nodded but didn’t look at you. She took a deep breath before mumbling, “Took everything in me not to kiss you when she was in here.” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest, “Why didn’t you?” 

She turned her head, finally meeting your gaze. “Wanted to ask you before I… said anything to anyone, wanted to talk to you’n make sure you were okay with it. I didn’t wanna assu— “

You impulsively leaned over the center console, your lips connecting with her soft ones, and you held her cheek in your hand. You felt her hand wrap around your wrists as she sighed into your mouth, her calloused fingers massaging your pulse. 

You pulled away from her, and she chased you before you spoke in a hushed whisper, “I don’t care if people know anymore, Ellie. I wanna… I wanna be happy. With you a-and in general. If you… still wanna be with— “

Her mouth cut your words off, her hand coming up to the back of your neck to pull you closer. She pulled away slightly to speak, “You’re my girlfriend, and we’re together, you understand?” 

She sounded so serious, so sure, and it made tears glisten in your eyes as you looked into hers. They were so full of love and admiration, and you hoped yours expressed the same. 

“Let’s go home? Someone’s waiting for you,” she spoke in between soft kisses. You nodded eagerly. 

She gave you one more peck before she let you go, putting her car in drive as you eased back into your seat. 

She held your hand the entire drive. 

Ellie’s other home was so fucking adorable! 

White tile floors, black furniture littered with small green details, and Duchess! You missed her dearly! 

She helped you bring your bags up, placing them in her room near her nightstand. You inspected the quaint space: it wasn’t nearly as stocked as her room back home, but it still had intricate details that were solely hers. Small, twinkling lights, her producing equipment and monitors, her green blankets! 

You felt her arm wrap around your waist to pull you closer, reconnecting your lips in a proper kiss. You felt her hand sneak down to your clothed ass, giving it a light squeeze as your arms wrapped around her neck. The bulb in her mouth moved against your bottom lip, and you happily allowed it entry. 

She pulled away slightly to whisper against your mouth, “Wanna shower?” 

You nodded before kissing her again, pulling her closer to you. You missed her so bad; you needed her so bad—

Meow! Meowmeow! Meow! —

Ellie pulled away, and you saw that annoyed look on her face at her baby’s cries. You laughed and kissed her cheek before moving towards your bag for some clothes. 

You heard Ellie walk towards the little angel, mumbling do you hate gay people? be honest! to her as she meowed. 

“M’gonna shower, El.” 

“Okay, baby! Bathroom doors on the right side of the bed!” You heard her call back to you. 

You were so, so happy. 

After showering, you did your skincare and brushed your teeth before wrapping your hair. The anticipation of your little trip left you restless for two days, and your exhaustion was crashing into you all at once. 

You exited the bathroom to find a sweatsuit-clad Ellie already sitting on the edge of her bed and rolling a blunt, her back turned to you. 

She turned to look at you over her shoulder when you shut the bathroom door, “Hiii, babe, c’mere.” 

She set her blunt on the ashtray on her nightstand before flopping onto her back and making grabby hands at you. You laughed at her gestures softly as you snuggled into your side. 

She crawled up next to you, immediately connecting your lips and lifting your leg up to wrap around her waist. You couldn’t stop smiling into the kiss and it made her giggle with you. 

“Tired?” she whispered in your ear before kissing the space below it. You squirmed under her, but you nodded. She hummed against you before moving back to kiss your nose. 

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” 

Her brows furrowed in confusion before they shot up in realization, “Oh, yeah, the fuck, sorry.” 

You giggled as you listened, “So, there’s two parties tomorrow. There’s the beach party, that’s the one we’re going to. And then there’s gonna be one at a club that Sai mixes for, we don’t have to go to that one if you don’t wanna, it’s up t’you.” 

Your interest perked at the mention of a club. You’ve never felt strongly about clubs one way or another, but you were very eager to make the most out of the two days you were here. You wanted to go everywhere with Ellie. 

“I’ll go to both.” 

“Yeah?” she smiled down at you.

“Yeah, El, sounds fun.” 

“Kay, baby, go to sleep.” 

She planted one more kiss to your nose and lips before shuffling off of you, scooting over to retrieve her discarded blunt from the ashtray. 

You pulled the covers back to get underneath them, and the minute your head hit the pillow, your eyes fluttered sleepily. The calming scent of Ellie engulfed you, and you drifted off to sleep. 

You woke up late the next day with Ellie’s back to your chest and your arm and leg thrown over her body. 

You shifted slightly to stretch and rub your eyes. You looked past Ellie’s head and at the small clock on the nightstand. It was almost ten. 

You sat up slowly, and you felt Ellie shift before she groggily mumbled, “You always wake up so damn early.” 

You huffed tiredly, “It’s not early, you’re just a light sleeper.” 

“I fucking hate it, you sleep like you’re dead.” 

You laughed quietly as she smiled. You got out from under the covers before turning back to her, seeing that she was already facing you. 

“What time we leaving?” 

She yawned as she answered, “Around noon. The beach isn’t far but traffic is gonna be crazy.”

You cracked your back before planting your feet on the cold floor before whispering, “Shower with me?” 

She instantly sat up at your suggestion and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle. She chased behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as she planted kisses to your neck. 

You’ll never get used to how pretty Ellie is. 

You rinsed the soap off your body as your eyes trailed over her dripping, bare form, taking in every scar, freckle, mole, hair, anything you could see. You were so, so in love with everything about her. You could feel her gaze burning holes into you like you were doing hers, but you couldn’t help your gawking. 

You were ready to pounce on her right now! 

The kiss she planted on your cheek broke your stupor, and you could feel her smiling on your skin. 

“Still stare hard as fuck,” she mumbled against your skin.

You smiled. “Fuck off, so do you.” 

She leaned in closer to you, and your smile dropped as you gazed into her intense eyes. They were so dark and wanton as she looked you up and down. Her nose brushed against yours as she spoke quietly, “I wanna kiss.” 

“Then kiss me,” you whispered. 

“Want you to kiss me,” she mumbled needily against your lips. 

You didn’t hesitate, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her closer. Her breasts pressed up against yours as her hands grabbed your asscheeks, slowly walking forward to press you up against the wet wall. 

You gasped and arched closer into her when the cold surface touched your back, but her tongue sliding into your mouth distracted you instantly. She lifted your leg around her waist, and you stumbled unsteadily, but she pressed you even further into the wall to keep you stable. 

She grinded into you, planting wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw, and sucking marks into your neck. You panted out into the foggy bathroom, wet moans leaving your mouth as her tongue moved on your skin. 

Your cunt squeezed tight when she dug her teeth into your shoulder before, her hand coming up to yank the wet coils on your head. Your eyes fluttered closed when you felt her play with your nipples, her rough fingers rubbing and pulling on the hard buds. She sloppily kissed down your chest and sucked bruises into the skin. 

“Missed these fucking tits,” she groaned out against your chest, her free hand sliding down to your cunt. Her fingers immediately rubbed your clit in quick, tight circles. You could barely stand on your own as you bucked into her hand, the leg you held around her waist jerking at her touch. She shoved her face into your neck again, nipping the sensitive skin. 

“Needa fuck you, missed you s’fuckin’ bad.” 

You moaned out as you nodded eagerly, you needed her to fuck you just as badly. 

She suddenly pulled away from you to shut the water off, planting one more kiss to your mouth before grabbing your hand and pulling your dazed form out of the shower and to her bedroom. 

She pushed your still dripping body onto her bed, and you watched her pull her nightstand drawer open frantically as she dug around. Her breath was so heavy, and she was so eager to touch you, and you were just as eager for her. You needed her in your guts. 

She pulled out a blue strap and stepped into it, shakily adjusting the harness before dropping to her knees in front of your spread legs. She yanked you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs and shoved her tongue inside you without warning. Her nose was brushing against your clit, and you watched her eyes roll back at your scent and taste and you moaned out. 

She was eating your cunt like you were paying her, it was so wet and sloppy and quick. The sounds that filled her room were disgusting, the nasty slurps and sucks nearly echoing in the quiet space. You would’ve been so embarrassed if you weren’t about to cum!

Your hands flew down to pull at her soaking hair, and one of her hands traveled up your body to massage your tits. Her nails dug into your nipples and your hips jerked off the bed, heavy pants leaving your mouth as the tension in your core built. 

“E-El, fuckmeplease— “

She slapped your tits before sucking your clit into her mouth, shaking her head between your trembling legs. You were yanking at her hair, digging your nails into her shoulder, begging her to fuck you into the bed. You needed her so badly! 

You looked down at her, and she looked up at you. She looked so fucking cute her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes as she ravished you. “Cum on m’face, baby, please, fuck— “

“M’gonna!” 

She released whiny mhmmhm!s against your bud like she was going to die if you didn’t cum in her mouth, like she needed to drink you to survive. Your eyes rolled back when you felt that strong pull in your belly, it’s right there! So close so close—

Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream as your orgasm hit you fast and hard, your head falling back onto her wet sheets as you shook through your release. You tried to lift your hips up so she could lick into you deeper, but her strong arms pinned you down, her nails digging into the plush on your hips. You hope they leave indents in your skin! 

You didn’t even get to recover from your first orgasm before Ellie climbed on top of you, slapping her dick on your clit a few times before pushing inside your clenching entrance, and you both groaned in unison as her body moved on top of yours. 

She was fucking you so hard the second she bottomed out, digging into you deep, and all you could do was take it. Your legs lifted and spread even wider on their own, your body working on autopilot to get her even deeper inside you. Her soaking body was fully pressed against you as she grinded her hips into yours, your nails digging into her back as you cried out, the skin moving under your nails.

“Ellie, mmh, fuck yes! —” 

“Feels s’fuckin’ good, babygirl, Jesus fuckin’ Christ— “

One of her arms hooked under your knee to lift your leg up even, and you screamed when her tip grazed against your cervix. 

“Uggh! El, can’t take i-t, fuuck— “

“Yeah, you can, you’re takin’ it so fuckin’ good, baby, shit, missed you so fucking bad.” 

You missed her, you missed her, you missed her! “M’gonnacumm’gonnacum, yesyesyesyes!”

“Fuck, baby, cum on this fuckin’ dick,” she gritted out right next to your ear and you shouted as another orgasm hit you, your walls squeezing down on her hard. She fucked you through it as she moaned out your name, the sloppy noises of your cunt mixing with your pleasured screams of her name. You didn’t think she could hit deeper, but she managed, and it made you cum harder. 

She stopped sucking on your neck to connect your lips, your tongues messily swiping against each other, her spit coating the outside of your mouth as you moaned into hers, the last remnants of your orgasm pulsing through you. 

You whined into the kiss before pushing at her shoulders, and she immediately pulled away to gently ask how you were doing.

You cut her off with one last hard push and she flipped onto her back, her dick leaving you with a nasty squelch before you clumsily straddled her waist. 

Your cheeks burned at the evident shock on her face before you watched her ogle your body. Your neck, your tits, your pulsing clit, everywhere. She looked like she was going to eat you alive! It was getting you so hot. 

You boldly reached behind you and grabbed her wet cock, holding eye contact with her as she brought her hands up to massage your tits. One of your hands gripped your tits on top of hers, and you brought her dick towards your drippy entrance. 

You popped the tip in and slowly sunk down on her. You watched her eyes drop to watch your pussy swallow her, and she let out a dazed fuuuck, releasing your tits to prop herself up on her elbows to get a better view. She looked so sexy like this, cheeks bright red and eyes glossy. 

You got more confident the deeper she slid, and your eyes flitted as every ridge caught on your walls. You were panting heavily when you took the last few inches, sat fully in her lap with your heart pounding in your ears. 

You watched her eye your cunt, and your hand trailed down your body to rub your wet clit, your fingers getting coated in your slick instantly. She moaned out before thrusting up, and you moaned even louder as painful pleasure shot through you. 

Your hips slowly rose before coming back down, your movements barely there. You took her slow, and it felt so good. 

She dropped back down onto her back, her hands flying to your hips to help guide you on her. You felt her nails digging into the plush skin as she moved you into a steady grind. Your free hand came up to grab her wrist as you followed her hands as best you could. You wanted to watch her watch you so badly, but you could barely keep your eyes open, it felt so good. 

They rolled back whenever she brushed up against that patchy spot inside you, and your hips grinded down harder. She was whining underneath you, grabbing at you everywhere, trying to get you closer to her clit. You’ve never seen her this desperate to cum, and it made you squeeze on her dick. 

You shakily shoved your wet fingers into her mouth, and you watched her eyes roll back into her skull as she moaned at your taste. She rocked your hips harder, pulling you down against her, but you pulled at her wrists to stop her. She lightened her grip instantly. 

You took a deep breath before leaning back, propping yourself up on her thighs, your knees coming up to point at her ceiling. She had a full view of your pussy full of her cock, and by the way her eyes fluttered as she gawked, she liked it! A lot!

You raised your hips before dropping them, and her dick hit somewhere deep inside you that your legs jerk closed, but she instantly pried them open to lightly slap your cunt. 

“Keep t-those fuckin’ legs open,” she sounded like she was drunk. 

You nodded as you moaned, experimentally bouncing on her again. You watched her head fall back as she moaned out, her bitten, wet lips parted as she cursed out into the room. You bounced again, and again, jumping on her harder until she sat up, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and quickly fucking up into you, digging as deep as she could in your cunt. Her bed started moving with your bodies as you wailed, one of your arms wrapping around her neck and pulling her close. 

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, gonna make me cum so hard, what the fuck,” she was whimpering into your neck, and it forced more slick out of your cunt. You felt so sexy, so sensual, so desired by her, and the pleasure was making tears jerk in your eyes. 

“Want your cum in m’pussy, daddy! P-Please?” 

“Fuuuck! —“

She was hitting you so deep, and you both were so loud. She was sucking on your neck and mindlessly rubbing your clit with her free hand, her hand on your hip scratching you deep. You wanted her to rip you apart!

“Fuuuck, baby, m’so fucking close, fuckfuckfuckyeah!—“ 

You were screaming out wanton cries of fucking wan’it, daddy as you grinded down as hard as you could. You didn’t even care about your own orgasm; you needed her to cum! You were surrounded by your girlfriend, her warmth, her scent, and you wanted to drown in her. You would happily die here, right on top of her as you made her scream for you! You want her cum, you want it you want it—

You heard her moan loudly in your ear and it made you grind down even harder. She stopped rubbing your clit, wrapping both arms around your waist in a tight grip so she could hold you down right where she needed, your nails digging into her shoulder as she grinded out her orgasm in your cunt. You would give anything to feel the warmth of her filling you up, her creaming your insides. The nasty visuals in your head made you jerk on her. 

She moved her head up from your neck to connect your lips in a passionate kiss, the grinds of her hips slowing as she moaned into your mouth. Your hand flew up to her hair and pulled, and you felt her grind deeper. 

“M’about to say fuck the beach in a second,” she mumbled out against your mouth. You laughed softly before planting a smacking kiss on her cheek, your other arms wrapping around her neck. 

You both stiffened when you heard a thud come from the other side of her bed, Duchess swiftly jumping on the bed before flying across Ellie’s room like a bat out of hell and bolting out her door again. 

You both stared at each other before you busted out laughing, still winded, “She's actually the worst, feral ass.” 

“Watch your mouth, don’t talk about my baby like that!” 

“Did you raise her?! Ohhh, exactly— “ 

“She loves me more, you said it yours— “

You jolted when you felt her hand crack down on your asscheek, the stinging sensation immediately spreading on your skin. You let out a shock noise before jerking downward. You watched a sly grin appear on her face before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, her hands gripping your hips tighter. 

“Lay down.” 

And you shuddered in her lap at her tone.  

… Fuck the beach. 

You and Ellie barely made it to the Municipal Pier. 

You couldn’t keep your hands off each other! She damn near imprinted your bodies into her mattress with how passionately she fucked you… another three times! Your legs hurt so badly, how the hell were you going to trek through sand?!

When she finally got off you, you both threw on your rash guards and swim shorts before grabbing your bags and booking it downstairs. The party started at two, and it was already forty-five after! 

The ride over had been so fun, you and Ellie blasting music in her rental jeep as you moved through traffic, wind blowing past your ears. People were dressed in their bathing suits and swim shorts, barbecuing, buying fireworks for tonight. The city was lively, and you took it all in. 

You and Ellie waddled down the packed beach as you laughed amongst yourselves. The closer you got to the shore, the more you could make out the outline of Dina and Jesse snuggled up under the giant umbrella from a distance, and it made you so excited.

You ignored the discomfort in your thighs before grabbing Ellie’s hand in yours and clumsily bolting down the sand. 

Dina must’ve recognized your shouts of her name because she looked up and nearly flew into the air to run towards the two of you. You accepted her tight embrace, wrapping your arms around her as she kissed the top of your head. 

You opened your eyes to take in some of the groups. You recognized some of the faces: Riley and Abby (you saw her on the news a couple times! Hockey legend!) were relaxing on the lounge chairs as Isaiah and some of his friends ran up and down the shore with water guns and balloons. Jesse came up to you to pull you into a hug after Dina released you to embrace Ellie. 

Jesse walked you over to the blanket that was stocked with food, drinks, and pre-rolls as music blasted from the speaker on the edge of it. 

He pointed out everything for you, “Get whatever you like, there’s forks and plates over here. This is Isaiah’s little phone for the speaker, queue whatever song you want and come shoot with us!” 

He handed you the small IPhone before grabbing a water gun and sprinting towards Isaiah, shooting him with water. 

“I know that ain’t who I think it is!” 

A familiar voice came from in front of you. You looked up and were met with a surprised, but delighted Riley and Abby. 

“Gimme a hug, girl, what the fuck!” Riley got up from her chair and ran towards you, giving you a tight embrace, Abby doing the same with a soft smile. 

“What are you doing out here! Where’s your sister?!” 

You hesitated, “She’s… she couldn’t make it! Work and whatever, y’all know how it is.” 

“Aww, I miss her! I haven’t seen her in a minute,” Riley pouted slightly, Abby nodding in agreement. 

“She misses y’all, too,” you said immediately. 

She pinched your cheek before grabbing two water guns, slyly handing them to you and Abby before grabbing one for herself. 

“Gonna blast these motherfuckers, c’mon!” Abby screamed before bolting towards them while Riley shouted it’s a stick-uuup!, trailing her best friend closely. 

You turned to find Ellie and Dina sharing a pre-roll, giggling as they watched their friends shoot the shit out of each other with salt water. Ellie must’ve felt your eyes on her because she looked over at you, a soft glint in her eye as she stared lovingly at you. Your cheeks ran hot when she winked and nodded towards the laughing group, encouraging you to play with them. 

You bent over to grab the tub of water balloons before chasing after them. They all laughed when Isaiah snatched one and cracked you on the back with it, the freezing water making you shriek and shoot him with your toy gun. 

You wished your sister were here. You hoped she could reconnect with them soon. 

The sun set, and you were very tipsy. 

After blasting your newfound friends with water guns, swimming in the ocean, and attempting to surf without waves(dammit!), you all settled on your blankets laid out on the sand as young people passed around wearable glow sticks. 

You were currently chowing down on another lukewarm cheeseburger— it tasted like the best thing you’ve ever eaten thanks to the three pineapple margaritas you downed before this! —as you anticipated the little firework show. 

You heard some shuffling behind you and was met with Ellie’s squatted form and gentle smile before she kissed your cheek, “Feeling good, babe?” 

You nodded around your sandwich before shoving a couple potato chips in your mouth, clumsily resting your head on her shoulder. You heard her chuckle, planting gentle kisses to your head, “I’m gonna make a sandwich, gimme a sec, okay?” 

“Kay,” you whispered back before watching her get up and walk towards the paper plates and tupperware. 

You finished the last bit of your burger and chips when you felt another presence beside you. Isaiah! 

You grinned at him, “Hiii.”

He smiled, “Hey, man, how you been.” 

“Fine, I like your friends,” you said with a slight slur and a smile, pointing towards Dylan, Regine, and Marcus by the bonfire almost setting their marshmallow sticks on fire. You saw Regine smack the fuck out of Marcus’s head and snickered. 

“They like you more, they think you’re hilarious,” he added while laughing, shaking his head at them. 

“I’ve been told,” you said, miming flipping your hair over your shoulder. 

He chuckled again before quieting, “How’s, um… how’s your sister doing?” 

You sighed sadly at the mention of her as you stared at the water, “Still mad, I think. Planning my funeral.” 

“I don’t think so, you’re literally the only person she cares about,” he laughed sympathetically. 

“Have you talked to her?” you said, turning to face him as he stared off at the ocean. 

“A few times, didn’t get a good read on where we stand, though. Unfortunately,” you heard the sorrow in his tone. 

“Did she say anything about me?” your ears perked at the information of her being communicative. 

“… Nah, bro. M’sorry,” he denied gently. 

You deflated, but you nodded, “She, uh… she hasn’t answered me. I-I visited her a few times, but she didn’t answer.” 

“Just give her some time. She’s gonna come around at some point. I believe it.” 

You hoped that was true; This was the longest you’ve gone without speaking to her, and it still hurt you deeply. 

“Show’s gonna start soon. Wanna s’more?” he offered with a soft smile. 

“… Yes, please.” 

“Gotcha, lemme get you one.” 

You watched him slowly walk towards his friends, grabbing a skewer from its bag and sticking your marshmallow through it. 

You saw Ellie walk back over to you after talking to Riley with a full plate, smiling before she sat down beside you. You inspected the contents of her plate and laughed. 

She’d stacked a burger pattie, Hot Fries, and something that looked like tree bark between two buns. You shook your head at her, “And what the hell is that?!” 

“A fucking masterpiece, you wouldn’t understand!” Ellie laughed with red-tinted eyes. “You haven’t had real food until you’ve had a burger with chips, mustard, pickles, and jalapeño beef jerky. Fuck Gordon Ramsey!” 

You laughed harder as she took a large bite of her monstrosity, muffling out a this is real fucking food as she chewed with gusto. You giddily kissed her cheek, and she hummed happily when you rested your head on her shoulder. 

You sat in comfortable silence as she finished the tornado on her plate, you munching on the s’more that Isaiah brought you as he laughed quietly at Ellie’s grubbing. 

You saw the other beachgoers start to stand from their chairs and blankets, looking at the sky with their phones aimed upward in anticipation. You turned to look at Ellie’s relaxed state: she was leaning back on her hands, her legs outstretched as the gentle breeze moved through her hair as she looked at the sky. 

The firework show started, but you didn’t care to watch as you stared at your girlfriend, bright colors exploding above the two of you. She looked so innocent, her expression filled with wonder as she stared up at the colorful sky, and the world around you seemed to melt away the longer you focused on her. 

She turned her head to look at you, her tender eyes filling with affection, and your face burned as you smiled. She smiled at you just as brightly. 

She scooted closer to you, your shoulders now touching. You looked down at her lips, and you saw her look down at yours. You slowly leaned forward, your noses brushing against her before you kissed her. Your eyes shut, the colorful explosions shining beneath your fluttering eyelids as your lips molded with hers. She was so gentle, and your heart soared in your chest. 

You pulled away and looked at her fondly, and she did the same. You watched her lips move as she mouthed I love you, and you smiled widely, leaning in closer to nuzzle your nose against hers. 

You loved her just as much, if not more. 

A surprisingly sober Dylan offered to drive you and Ellie back to her apartment, which you happily accepted when Ellie stood wobbly from the blanket. 

You and Dylan guided her back to the parked jeep, making sure she was buckled in as you handed Dylan the keys from her backpack before jumping in next to your girlfriend. 

“Bro, I don’t think she’s going out tonight,” Dylan commented over his shoulder as you both stared at a very slumped Ellie. You’re never letting her touch a bong again! 

“Nah, probably not! Are you gonna be okay to get back?” You asked as he started the jeep. 

“Yeah, don’t trip, Marcus is gonna follow us and I’ll leave with them.” He backed out of the tight parking spot and eased into traffic. 

“Cool, I appreciate it,” Ellie snuggled up next to you, her face in your neck.

“Course, man, you’re good!” 

The traffic was horrendous, and it took so long to get back on the freeway, but after a lot of swerving and honking, the jeep pulled into Ellie’s apartment complex. Dylan helped you walk Ellie into the building and onto the elevator. 

“I got her from here, thank you so much,” you turned to look at your new friend as the elevator door opened, securing a hold on Ellie’s waist as he held the automatic door with his hand. 

“Don’t sweat it, this was so fucking fun, holy shit,” he said with a laugh, and it made you smile, Ellie nuzzling deeper into your neck to kiss it. She was fucking zooted, what the fuck!

“I had such a good time! I hope we can link soon.” 

“You coming back to Cali, or?” 

“I’d love to, hopefully real soon!” 

“Dope, I’ll see you then!” He said with a grin, and you waved to the best of your ability. 

You heard the elevator door shut as you and Ellie waddled down the hallway. You unlocked her door eased inside, shutting and locking it behind you. You kicked your slides off and dropped the bags onto the floor to walk you both to her room. 

“C’mon, hon, gotta getchu cleaned up,” you sat her down on the chair to help her undress so she could shower, but she wrapped her arms around your waist so she could rest her head on your stomach. 

“Love you s’much,” she barely mumbled against your clothed tummy. You smiled to yourself, kissing the top of her head before pushing her back into the seat so you could get her rash guard off. 

“Love you, too. Lift up, babe,” she listened, and you slid her swim shorts off. 

“M’sorry you… didn’t get to go out— “

“Hush! I’m fine, just wanted to spend time with you,” you helped her out of the chair, her arms wrapped tightly around your neck as you guided her to the bathroom. You let her rest against the bathroom sink so you could strip and turn the hot water on. Detangling your hair was about to be a bitch! 

“C’mon,” you whispered to Ellie as she nodded off behind you. She jolted as you gently pulled her under the stream, wetting her body and grabbing her soap and sponge. You washed her as thoroughly as you could, trying to get all the sand off her body; no one likes itching when they’re trying to sleep!

After you were satisfied, you grabbed her shampoo and washed her hair. You rubbed your soapy hands through her soft strands as gently as you could, massaging the suds in as she sighed happily. You watched her eyes flutter open slightly to look at you, and she smiled harder before shutting them once again. You couldn’t help the small grin that appeared on your face. 

You brought her under the stream once more so you could get the soap out before grabbing the conditioner and repeating the same thing. 

She was all clean and smelled so good!

You noticed her watching you clean yourself next, green eyes soft and glossy as she leaned against the shower wall. You sent her a gentle grin, and she slowly sent one back before she started giggling. 

You quickly parted, shampooed, and detangled your hair, getting all the sandy particles out of your coils before conditioning, and Ellie watched all of it with affection. 

You shut the water off when you were done washing up, grabbing Ellie’s towel from its rack, and wrapping her in it before guiding her out of the shower. You wrapped yourself in your towel before walking towards her sink to grab her toothbrush and paste.

“C’mon, El, open,” you grabbed her chin gently, and her jaw opened with a cracked ahhh. You giggled gently as you scrubbed her mouth, carefully getting around her tongue piercing before instructing her to spit in the sink. You gave her a shot of mouthwash, and she slowly swished it as you unraveled the towel from around her and dried her hair with it. She spit into the sink, and you kissed her cheek before guiding her to sit on her side of the bed. 

You grabbed an oversized shirt and boxers from her drawer before returning to where she sat to dress her. She lifted her arms so you could put her shirt on, unfolding her boxers so you could get them up her legs. She snickered before taking them from your grasp and shoving them on herself. 

“Alright,” you said blankly as she chuckled. “Go to bed.” 

“C’meeere,” she whined out playfully, making grabby hands at you. 

“I gotta feed the baby! And do my hair, go to sleep!” 

She didn’t argue, instantly plopping down onto her soft pillow. You tucked her in and kissed her forehead, quickly pecking her lips before walking over to your suitcase. 

You put on a t-shirt and cotton panties, grabbed your wide tooth, and headed to the bathroom. You heard soft jingles coming from Ellie's room, and you made kissy noises to lure in Duchess. 

The kitty watched you moisturize your scalp before putting your hair into four big twists from atop the closed toilet. You brushed your teeth and did your skincare before wrapping your head in your silk scarf. You picked up a purring Duchess and made your way to the living room to refill her food and water bowls.

You pet her gently as she drank. You gave her one last kiss before reentering Ellie's room and getting under the blankets as your girlfriend snored soundly. You snuggled up to her, wrapping your arm around her waist to pull her closely before sleep overtook you. 

You woke up to the smell of… pesto! 

Ellie wasn’t next to you, but you heard clunking coming from the kitchen as the cabinets opened and closed. You rubbed your eyes before reaching for your phone on the nightstand to check the time; Almost eleven. You sat up slowly, removing the blankets from your body to stretch. 

You got up and dazedly made your way over to the kitchen, a cozy-looking Ellie pulling out the orange juice jug from the fridge. She had a tray set up with fancy looking sandwiches, cut up fruit, and pastries. You smiled before clearing your throat. 

Your girlfriend jumped before turning, immediately relaxing at the sight of you as a grin spread across her face, “Scared me. Fuck.” 

“Sorry, you made breakfast?” 

“… Well, yes, I absolutely cooked all of this! You know I'm actually a licensed chef? Literally just got my $250,000 check from Food Network!” She said matter-of-factly as she poured the juice into glasses. 

You huffed out a laugh and shook your head, “You’re so annoying.” 

“You like it,” she hummed as she walked over to you, her scent overtaking your senses as she kissed you. “Wanna eat now?” 

You wrapped your arms around her neck, and hers came around your waist, “Depends, we got somewhere to be?” 

“Not right now, everyone wants to see you one last time before you fly out. We were planning to just go over to Sai’s place to chill.” 

You brightened at the mention of seeing them again, “His friends are so funny, oh my god!” 

“Dude, they fucking love you! I woke up to a whole bunch of texts from them asking when you’re coming back. Like I don’t fucking know, whenever she wants!” She said as she smiled. 

You laughed with her before you felt Duchess rub up against your bare leg. You released Ellie to pet her, “Mornin’, baby!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna go eat while you play with the demon.” 

You gasped playfully, “Watch your mouth, bitch!”

You heard her chuckle as she walked into her room with the stocked tray. 

“She’ll never have the bond we do,” you whispered to the kitty, and she meowed in agreement. You kissed her head. 

“I heard you!” You heard her release a muffled shout. She’s really eating without you! 

Duchess rubbed against you and purred louder. 

You and Ellie woke up hours later to Duchess’s meows. 

After eating and showing Ellie the ninth season of Bad Girls Club, —she was so hurt to find out that the show got canceled! What d’you mean there’s no more fucking auditions?!— you gave each other toe-curling head, played with Duchess’s laser toy, and knocked out. 

You’d watched Ellie sit at her desk with her headphones, switching between her production software and her computer files before you dozed off to the sound of clicking keys. 

You didn’t feel her crawl into the bed next to you, but your heartbeat sped up when you felt her arm around you as she shifted. 

Meow meowmeow! Meo—

“Get your kid, bro,” Ellie grumbled sleepily against the back of your neck. You laughed tiredly. 

“Shut u— “

Meowmeow Meow! Meow!

“Alright, alright,” you blinked before moving away from Ellie and pulling the covers back so you could get up. You saw Duchess sitting politely in the entryway, and her meowing stopped the minute she saw you get up. She just stared at you. 

“What’s the matter?” You asked her softly. 

She just walked away. You heard Ellie snickering behind you. 

“I don’t why you’re laughing, we gotta get up soon, anyway. It’s almost eight,” you threw over your shoulder. 

She only laughed harder. 

Isaiah’s apartment building was fucking luxurious. Why were all your friends so fucking wealthy?! 

Ellie pulled up to one of the prettiest buildings you’ve seen in Beverly Hills, and needless to say you were gobsmacked! It was white and incredibly modern: large glass windows, balconies, a fucking gigantic pool that you could see from the small walkway between the buildings. What the hell!

You and Ellie walked hand in hand all the way to the entrance and elevators, all the way up until you reached Isaiah’s apartment on the highest floor. 

You and Ellie could hear the commotion going on the closer you got to his place, Ellie banging on the front door with an excited jump. She turned you to plant a frantic kiss on your forehead, “You’re so hot, fuck— “

“WELCOME TO MY CRIIIB!” 

A very intoxicated Dylan practically ripped the door off the hinges, Casamigos—oh, god— bottle in hand and party hat on his head. Music boomed from behind him, and you caught a glimpse of Jesse and Dina making out by the fridge. 

This didn’t look… chill! 

You wondered if you were a bit overdressed: Arya told you to bring one thottie dress, show them titties! for when you went clubbing, and you didn’t want to waste dry-cleaning it. It was simple and black, but it hugged your curves and showed some cleavage. Everyone else seemed pretty casual, including Ellie, who wore a black tee and her usual ripped jeans. 

… She did have her Cuban links on, though. Fuck. 

“You don’t live here, prick. Move,” Ellie tightened her grip on your hand and pulled you past Dylan, but he hugged you anyway. You hugged him just as giddily. 

“Look who’s heeere!” Ellie said to her friends in reference to you. Isaiah and Marcus, who’d been taking their shots on the couch, turned to look at you, excitement taking over both their faces. 

They rushed over to hug you both, handing you and Ellie a shot of… battery acid. They really drink straight vodka! 

You watched Ellie down it with a light cringe, and you followed in her lead, the burn making you cough a little, before making your way towards the sofa. 

“Is that my babyyy!”

You immediately grinned at the voice. 

Dina walked towards you with the brightest smile, pulling you in for the tightest hug before pulling back to look at you in faux anger, “Why the hell didn’t you say hi when you came in!”

“Y’all looked busy!” you said, gesturing to a flushed Jesse standing behind Dina. “I didn’t wanna interrupt!” 

“C’mon, you know you’re more important than him— “ 

“What the fuck!” He yelled in playful offense. 

Everyone’s laughter quieted by a voice coming from the hallway, “What’re y’all laughing at?” 

Regine appeared with a bright smile as Dina wrapped her arms around her neck. 

Ellie was very transparent about their short past before you two reconnected, but you couldn’t help the small swirl of jealousy when she pulled Ellie in for a hug. You knew it was completely friendly—she literally hugged everyone, including you, the same way! — but you squeezed Ellie’s hand harder, anyway. You felt her squeeze back before she kissed it. 

You eyed the vodka bottle on the table. 

… One more shot wouldn’t hurt. 

I MIGHT SLAP A TRACKER ON HIS WHIP AND GET TO ADDIN’! —

Hours passed and this seventh shot was hurting, but you didn’t give a fuck as you swallowed it down. 21 was on!

Everyone was dancing everywhere: on the bar stools, on the couch, on the dining table, everywhere! Why did he have such a hard grip on your generation?!

Regine was throwing it back on Dina, and she was throwing it back on Jesse as he tried not to fall off the couch while you, Ellie, Dylan, and Marcus screamed out about all of you hoes from different parts of the kitchen. 

You were dancing to the best of your ability from your barstool, committing to the chair twerk as you poured another shot for yourself, some liquid spilling over the glass and onto the counter. You set the bottle down clumsily, but before you could reach for your drink, your girlfriend snuck up behind you, snatched it from the counter and downed it. You watched her hand set the glass down before you heard her mumble the lyrics in your ear as she gently kissed your neck. 

Your face was burning, and your pussy squeezed! How was she so fine! 

You felt her hands come up to massage your shoulders and it took everything in your body not to jump on her in front of everyone here. 

“Dance with me?” She mumbled against your cheek as she kissed it. 

“I suck at it,” you pouted jokingly. She smiled against your skin. 

“So?” She whispered and massaged you even deeper. Your eyes fluttered, and you felt her smile wider. 

She grabbed your hand and guided you up out of your chair, spinning you goofily before pulling you close. You laughed at her attempts at sweetheart dancing; this did not match the song at all! She even tried to dip you, but she stumbled, and you almost fell. You giggled harder. 

But then See Red came on… the building nearly rattled. 

You perked up instantly at the harsh beat as everyone jumped in the middle of the living room to form a circle, Isaiah and Marcus immediately getting sturdy on the slippery rug. 

You were so happy. 

Everything calmed down after the noise complaint from downstairs. 

You were cuddled up next to Dina as you watched everyone play Cards Against Humanity. 

“Step one: kissing grandma on the forehead and turning off her life support. Step two: having sex for the first time. Step three: profit?” Dylan slurred out as he slowly read his cards with furrowed brows before looking at everyone for approval. 

Ellie and Jesse were the only ones who giggled. Tough crowd!

“That was wack, next!” Isaiah said as he pointed at Jesse. 

You heard his voice as he read off the cards, but you couldn’t put together what he was saying as Ellie stared at you with dark eyes. She was nibbling on the skin of her index finger as she looked at your face, down to your chest, over your bare legs before trailing back up again. She was fucking ogling you, and it made your thighs squeeze. You watched her grin devilishly at your movements. 

“El, your turn,” Jesse said as he looked at her, but she held your gaze. 

“Not playin’,” she mumbled against her finger. 

They moved onto Dina, and you squirmed in your seat, your nails digging into the arm of the couch. She eyed your every move like a hawk before pulling out her phone. You watched her type before she looked back up at you, then your phone dinged in your pocket. 

You pulled it out and unlocked it.

hi :0

hiiii bab y

u ok

ye

needa eat u out

You froze before immediately looking up at her. You saw her thighs squeezing together like yours were, subtly squirming in her chair. She looked around the room with a pout before looking down at her phone to type.

like rn

im so hieny

hor ny u make me sososo hirny u looks o good 

needa fcuk u rn need ur cum i n my mouth 

we can’t drive r n well die 

don’t care just needa eat ur pussy

bathhroom? 

“You good, hon?” Dina asked softly, and you nodded. She patted your thigh before turning back to the loud group. 

fuckme pls lol

She got up abruptly before stumbling down the hall, presumably to the bathroom. How the fuck do you follow her without looking suspicious! They seemed distracted enough—

You stood on autopilot, and everyone turned to look at you. 

“… You good?” Isaiah asked with his brows furrowed. 

“Yeah! Yup, just want a… a shot! Gonna go’n… and get it!” You chuckled awkwardly before walking towards the kitchen. You heard Jesse snort from behind you before their chatter built back up. 

You eyed them cautiously as you poured yourself a glass. 

Just stand here for a little and go! Don’t bring attention to yourself! 

They were laughing hysterically as Regine yelled about how something wasn’t fair, and you scurried down the hall to the bathroom door. Just as you were about to open it, Ellie did, her breath heavy and face flushed. You looked at her lips once before you were yanked into the bathroom by your waist, the door closing behind you with a slam. You cringed at the loud noise, but Ellie didn’t care. She pressed you up against the door and kissed you deeply. Her tongue slid into your mouth as she lifted your dress up around your hips. 

“We’re leaving after this, gonna get a fucking Uber, I don’t care,” she mumbled against your mouth, and you nodded eagerly before reconnecting your lips. You grabbed her by her hips to pull her closer, unbuckling her belt and unbuttoning her jeans. She bucked into you as she kissed all over your neck. 

“Needa eat your pussy, baby,” she was sucking on your neck desperately. 

“Later, El, j-just do it later,” you heard her let out a whine of complaint before she nodded. You shoved your hand in her jeans and your fingers were instantly wet with her slick. Her hips bucked into your hand before she whimpered into your neck, bringing her hand up to rub your clit through your panties. 

You rubbed her slippery clit in fast circles as she breathed heavily in your ear, releasing small noises of pleasure. Her movements on you seemed like she was trying to keep up with your pace on her, but she was falling behind. You didn’t care, she was so cute when she got like this! 

“F-Fuck, mmh!” 

Ellie’s hand pulled away from you to prop up against the door to steady herself. She opened her legs wider when you slid your index and middle finger down to her entrance, your palm pressed into her clit as you slow pressed them in. Her wet, gooey walls cling to your digits, and you heard a slight smack against granite when her hand landed on the counter. 

You grinded your fingers in as you watched her jaw fall open, sweat glistening on her forehead and her cheeks red under the blue LED light. 

“Feels good? Okay?” She nodded slowly at your inquiries as she gasped, leaning forward to connect your lips. She shoved her tongue in your mouth as she squeezed your jaw. Her lips wrapped around your tongue to suck on it gently. You pressed your fingers deeper at her action, and she moaned brainlessly on the muscle in your mouth. You pulled back and let out a quick shhh!

She was practically riding your hand, grinding her hips back and forth as you craned your wrist to hit deeper. The tips of your fingers finally grazed that spot in her cunt, and her knees buckled. The noises she was making were increasing in volume, and your heartbeat was picking up in pace.

“Ellie, babe, be quiet, please,” You could feel her getting even wetter at your commands. Even though you were silently praying to not get caught, you couldn’t help the desire growing in your belly from Ellie’s eagerness. You made sure to grind in deeper.

“You’re gonna m-make me… cum really hard, I’m— “ 

“I know, baby, just— “

“I’m gonna scream, I can’t— “ 

You looked around quickly before grabbing the washcloth on the counter and shoving it in her mouth to cut off her frantic rambles. She didn’t protest, and you watched her eyes flutter as she moaned around the small towel. Her head plopped onto your shoulder, and you felt her body start to tense up, the squeezes of her walls getting stronger around you. 

Her muffled warnings of her orgasm were cut off when she wailed, her walls practically milking your fingers hard. You felt her calloused hand grab your wrist as she fucked down onto you. At some point, the towel dropped from her mouth, and you felt her teeth dig into your shoulder as she cried out, and you whined at the pain, more slick pooling in your panties. 

You fucked her through her orgasm until she started to relax against you, her choked gasps easing into satisfied sighs. 

You pulled your fingers out slowly to rub her clit, her grip on your wrists tightening as she whimpered a quick nonono against your skin. You snickered before removing your drenched fingers from her boxers. You gently kissed her head, and she lifted up. You held eye contact with her when you brought your fingers up to your mouth and sucked them clean. She bit her bottom lip before grabbing your hand to pull your fingers towards her mouth, mimicking your actions. You shuddered when you felt her tongue swirl around them before pulling back to kiss them. 

She pulled you closer by your bunched up dress and kissed you, her tongue messily gliding against yours. 

You felt her thumbs hook into the elastic of your panties before you pushed her away gently, “No, El, they probably fucking heard— “

“Don’t care— “

“Let’s just go,” you whispered as you grabbed her pouty face in both hands. “I’ve never… used a Hitachi before?” 

She instantly perked up at your suggestion, her eyes twinkling. She fixed her appearance in the mirror, adjusting her non-existent tie as you giggled to yourself. She ordered the Uber as you fixed your dress and washed your hands. She opened the door and led you out with her hand in yours. 

The minute you reentered the living room, everyone’s chatter quieted, and your heart sank. Your face burned intensely as you gazed at your friends, their smirks and quiet giggles making you hide behind Ellie. They definitely heard! 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Jesse muttered around a pretzel with a sly grin. 

“Don’t talk to me, we’re leaving in a little,” Ellie muttered as she blushed, and everyone laughed. 

“I’m sure y’all are, Uber?” Dina asked as Isaiah and Marcus snickered. You both nodded with your heads tilted downward. 

Neither of you said anything as you moved towards the barstools as you waited for the car. Ellie rested her head on your shoulder as you sat as she kissed the exposed skin. 

You saw Dina smile fondly at the two of you.

You tried to hide your smile, but you failed. 

The ride home felt excruciatingly long. 

Ellie couldn’t keep her hands off your legs, rubbing them up and down, grabbing them, trying to spread them even though you stopped her. You were not about to get frisky in this poor old man’s car! Reggie didn’t deserve that! 

You practically raced into the elevator, her lips immediately pressing to yours as you both smiled and laughed. 

She pulled you into the hallway when the elevator opened, clumsily unlocking her door before pulling you both inside. You pushed her against the door this time, your lips reconnected as she held you close.

Meowmeow! MEOW—

Ellie pulled away from you as her head thudded back against the door, “We’ll never know fucking peace— “

“Hiii, my love!” You immediately ran over to the crying kitty, picking her up from the floor and hugging her close. 

You pressed kisses all over her as you petted her head, and she purred in your arms. 

You watched Ellie refill her bowls and clean her litter before heading into her room. You put Duchess down and allowed her to eat and you followed Ellie into her room. She was in the middle of undressing, and you stared at her toned, bare back as she moved. She sat on the edge of her bed and propped herself up on her elbows, still clad in her boxers.

She stared at you as you shuffled shyly in the door frame, her Cuban dangling between her breasts and her hair mussed. 

She looked you up and down before whispering a soft c’mere.

You followed her instructions, gently shutting her door and removing your small purse from around you to place on her desk. You turned, met her fond eyes, and smiled. You pulled your dress over your head and tossed it to the floor, only clad in your bra and panties. Her eyes were filled with devotion and tenderness as she scanned your body. You felt like you were boiling. 

You slowly walked over to her, and she sat up, her hands grabbing your hips as she lightly kissed all over the skin of your tummy. You sighed happily as you ran your fingers through her hair. You bent down to kiss the top of her head. 

“Love you so much, baby,” she mumbled to you against your skin. 

“Love you more,” you gasped out when she reached out to squeeze your ass, planting kisses all over your thighs.

She hooked her thumbs into your damp panties and pulled them down your legs. You stepped out of them, and she pulled your thigh over her lap so you could straddle her. 

You pressed your lips to hers, and she released a soft sigh through her nose. You pushed her back, so she laid flat, your chest pressed to hers and she lightly scratched her nails down your back. You grinded down on her lap when dug her nails in slightly. 

She pecked your lips one last time before her head plopped back down, a wide grin on her face as she whispered to you, “Still wanna use the wand?” 

You nodded before kissing her again. She grabbed your ass in her hand before patting it lightly, ushering you to lift up slightly so she could wiggle under you. She moved up the bed as you crawled on top of her until her head rested on the pillows. 

You unclasped your bra and tossed it as she rummaged through her drawer, pulling out the wireless, white toy and handing it to you. “Hold that for a sec.�� 

She clumsily pulled her boxers halfway down her thighs. You curiously pressed the first of three buttons, and the entire toy rattled strongly in your hand. Oh.

“… Damn.” 

She giggled quietly, “Mhm, there’s a bunch of other settings. Here.” 

You held the toy out to her. She pressed the button underneath the first, and it immediately started pulsing. She pressed it again and the pulses slowed. 

“See which ones you like,” she brought her arm behind her head to rest while the other one massaged your tits softly. 

“Where’s the… slower ones,” you huffed shyly. 

She pressed the second button three times, and the steady pulses ran all the way up your arm. You sighed at the sensations. 

“Like that?” she whispered to you, and you shrugged. 

“Think so.” 

“Take your time.” 

She patiently rubbed your hip as you brought the large bulb of the toy to your tits. Your hips jerked every time it shook against your nipple, small gasps leaving your lips. You looked at her, and your pussy squeezed on top of hers. 

Her nipples were hard, and her eyes were black, but she made no effort to touch you. She just watched in curious silence. 

You brought your free hand up to massage your other breast, and your eyes shut as you grinded on her. 

“You’re so pretty,” you heard her gasp out, her hands digging into your thighs. 

Your cheeks ignited further, “So are you.” 

You grinded down harder on her, and she bucked up against you. Your slick mixed with hers as your breaths increased. 

Your eyes opened and you changed the setting, the pulses increasing slightly. You brought the toy down to her nipple, she immediately started squirming under you, her eyelids quivering. 

You played with her other nipple, and she mewled. You pressed the button, and the timed thrums intensified. She moaned aloud. 

“Okay?”

She nodded at you quickly as she slurred, “It’s s’good, shit.” 

You leaned down to peck her lips before kissing down her neck, sucking into the skin that made her shiver. You missed down her chest before taking her unoccupied nipple in your mouth, pressing the toy deeper into the other. You flicked your tongue around the bud before sucking on it vigorously. 

“Feels like m’gonna cum,” you heard her gasp out in warning above you, surprise evident in her voice. 

“Really?” you released her nipple in shock. Your walls squeezed eagerly at the thought.

“I… I dunno? I’ve never cum like this.” 

“You wanna?” 

“Want you to c-cum with me.” 

“Okay, baby,” and you kissed her nose before moving the toy away from her. She tried to catch her breath. 

You clicked the button, and the toy instantly shook from the powerful vibrations; It made you jump. Ellie released a choked laugh, “That one’s the hardest.” 

“… Oh.” 

She smirked before whispering like she was sharing her dirtiest secret, “It makes me squirt.” 

You hummed at the information, and she giggled. You pressed the second one and the pulses built up again. 

Her chuckles eased into sighs when you placed the shaking silicone between both your pussies, you and your girlfriend’s clits smooshing the toy. You both sighed in unison as the feeling shook your core.

Ellie moaned out your name, “Fuck, shit, baby.”

You felt her legs twisting underneath you, her nails scratching the meat of your ass. 

She was whining your name out, and you knew she was close. “I’m g’na cuuum— “

“Cum for me, Ellie,” you shakily cooed at her. 

She was crying out uh huhs before her entire body locked up underneath you, her hand slamming into her mattress to grasp her sheets before she let out a pleased squeal. You watched her orgasm rock through her: her eyes were rolled back, freckled cheeks a deep red, her sweaty chest rising up and down with every harsh breath. You’ll never get over how beautiful she is. 

You pressed the third button and Ellie nearly curled in on herself. 

Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm built quickly in your gut, your walls clenching tightly.

“Choke me, baby, pleasepleasefuck— “

You carefully wrapped your hand around her throat and squeezed the sides like she does to you, and her eyes crossed in her skull. Her hand wrapped around your wrist to hold you there. 

She wheezed with glossy eyes, “M’gonna cum so fucking hard— “

“C-Cum on me, El, please— “

She breathed in a deep gasp, “I’m cummingm’cumming!—“

She screamed out, and you felt a splash of wetness between your legs, and it triggered your own orgasm. 

Your hand dropped from her neck to catch yourself as you fell forward, your body shaking on top of her as tears filled your eyes. Your clit jumped on the silicone as slick left your entrance, your walls clenching tight around nothing. Ellie was sobbing under you as more of her cum landed on the mattress, leaving a hefty puddle on her blankets. 

It felt like your orgasm lasted minutes before overstimulation rocked through you, your legs trying to shut around the toy. Ellie grabbed your wrist to pull the toy from between your bodies, tossing the juddering object somewhere on the bed. Your body twitched on hers, the aftershocks rocking through you as you rested on her. 

You felt Ellie quivering under you, and you looked up slowly to check on her. She dreamily stared at the ceiling as she caught her breath. 

“O-kay?” You asked brokenly. 

She only nodded before kissing your head. 

You plopped back onto her in exhaustion. 

After you both regathered your strength, you changed the linen and showered. 

Ellie was laying on your bare chest as you massaged her scalp. 

“… El?”

She hummed. 

“I’m gonna try’n talk to her again.”

“Want me there with you?” she asked immediately, and your heart fluttered with gratitude. 

“No, babe,” you stared intensely at the ceiling, “just wanted to let you know that I have to tell her everything.”

She didn’t say anything immediately, but she kissed your chest gently in comfort. 

“I love you.” 

Tears jerked in your eyes. 

“I love you, too.” 

Your sister set her phone down on the pillow next to her. She sighed heavily before shutting her eyes.

When your mom told her you were in California, she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t react, she only listened. 

She listened to your mother’s voice as she explained the ventures you and her were on, sending her the pictures you sent your mother of the beaches, sunsets, and fireworks. 

She couldn’t ignore the concern that bloomed in her chest when your mother told her you talked to your therapist recently: were you okay? How were you behaving? You hadn’t been in years, and she was scared that she triggered something deep within you. 

But when she only heard good news of you and your thriving social life, she was… confused. Your sister had been living on autopilot for months: get up, go to work, smoke, sleep. Everyday since you fought. How were you suddenly so… normal? So happy? What were you on? She’s never heard of you being this bright since you were a toddler. 

Her suspicions were confirmed about you and Ellie, though. She knew your instinctive need to defend her hinted at something deeper. Were the two of you dating, now? Most likely. How did she feel about it? She wasn’t sure, yet. 

For the longest time, all your sister had was you. She was the one you called when she was happy, depressed, anxious, in love, and you never complained. You always showed up to support her without fail, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she wasn’t extending that same courtesy to you, especially now that you were at your most radiant. 

When Isaiah mentioned you on their phone call saying how much you missed her and wished she were there, her heart dropped, and her regret began to set in. You were still thinking about her after all this time? Even with all this animosity between you two? 

… Did Ellie still hate her? Or had you been correct about her wanting to apologize? Did she ruin any chance for reconciliation with her harsh temperament? 

She missed you tremendously. 

And she finally accepted that she missed Ellie just the same. 

She opened the text messages between the two of you, and tears jerked in her eyes at the last one you sent. 

She typed as her hands trembled. 

come see me when you get back? 

Her tears fell at your almost instantaneous response. 

of course 

She sobbed herself to sleep that night as shame and yearning consumed her. 

one more pt to go :(

hi lil taglist love yall so bad :3 @fandomshitpostingqueen, @elsivy , @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @amitycat, @nil-eena , @onallfoursforellie, @letsreadsomesins-shallwe , @gold-dustwomxn

last pt :(.

[leclsrc]

hi auds!! it's my birthday today ;) i never send reqs i know you get a whole ton of them but if you ever got around to this- i think the f1 fic world has a very worrying lack of aus. so could i get a band!charles au drabble where he writes a song about reader and she hears it on the radio? any song you like. reader could be driver or something or connected to f1 if thats cool !!! thank you sm!! i love you

knee socks – cl16

There’s a certain inevitability that comes with having sex with a misaligned, conceited lead guitarist of a band. You aren’t aware of this fact until it hits you in-between your brows with the force of an 18-wheeler truck, at 8AM, through the radio in your car.

genre: drabble... lots of smutty allusions

auds here... happy birthday anon, one month and then some later! to be completely honest i almost deleted this... but through some twist of fate, it was the only thing i could bully into completion lol (aside frm long form fics that i'm still working on) this is 1000% for u and i hope u accept it as a belated bday gift :) i agree btw! id love to see more au fics but it is still nice reading the canon compliant type ones hahah. also the song in this and its and title is of course from this

It was surprising enough to hear an announcement of a new single by The Incident, one that seemingly sprouted out of nowhere, sans promotion. The morning BBC show clobbered the song with theories before finally letting the drawled-out, sticky guitar filter through and into your car. That in itself was odd, sure. Maybe shocking a little. But you leaned into the leather seat and remained quiet.

When you were fifteen, you were convinced the lyrics to Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl” pinned up perfectly to your (insufferable) personality of the time. Raised in a big family and working in a career of refined prestige, your budding skill and already-cemented name in the modeling industry were just two small indicators of your parents’ massive wealth. Of course, neither Hall nor Oates were actually sitting and writing songs and singing about you—you just found it made sense in one way or another.

That was three years before you met Charles three years ago, at a pub in Soho. His band had only just spilled out of the confines of Soundcloud and seedy managers; they’d broken five million monthly listeners and the throng of people were there to watch them live. You were at the pub for a pint with another friend and left him with your number, a slip of paper tinged with beer; he fished out the nearest surface you could write on from a nearby bowl. Do I Wanna Know? it read in rushed cursive. It was a song request that went unfulfilled.

Rumors flew in your circle. Your father soured at the idea of you seeing somebody he wasn’t actively doing business with, but he failed to realize how limited your dating pool would be if you followed his wishes. Your interactions with the Formula One men he sponsored or worked with, however few and far between, were rancid and impolite. The drivers wore expensive brands, ones that didn’t even fall familiar on people’s ears, but refused to tip beyond three pounds. It came as both a shock and no surprise that the nouveau rich rock singer treated you with more decency than any of them did.

He was shy about it first, knowing how filthy rich you were. He made jokes about how his flat could fit in your kitchen twice over. He spoke what little French he remembered from childhood to impress you, paid for takeout, wore Lacoste when he came over to drink—then fuck—because it was, at the time, the most decent brand he owned. It’d been January when he came over, caught a sight of you at the foyer with all your expensive coats hung up. Your tongue was blue with a lozenge. It was the only thing he could look at while fucking you.

He wore a light blue variant once, fit and snug on him. You wrestled it off him in-between hot, sweet kisses, kept it on your bed so it’d be the first thing you tugged on in the morning before a shoot for a brand you can no longer place.

The last time you saw him he’d shown you lyrics, sang them aloud, drummed the beat he thought of on the skin of your thigh. His accent disappeared into rasp and notes. You told him to perform it live and he fucked you splayed up against your door, bent over your counter, then with your knees pressed to your chest on your white sheets, warm from the laundry. S’good for me, aren’t you, princess? All for me. My filthy girl.

Two hours later: I’m going on tour, sweetheart, he’d said while he cleaned you up.

’Til? Or… like, for long? Naked, you wrapped your blanket around your frame.

Ah, oui. For a while. 

You failed to answer amicably, your eyebrows twisting. You didn’t think to tell me? Just up and leave then? No number, no text, no announcement, just— You exhaled tightly. You knew he didn’t owe you anything of the sort; the sex, you guessed, the company had been so good you’d deluded yourself into thinking so.

Kitten—

Don’t call me that, you huffed, angrier now. Petulant. You got up and crowded him ’til you got to the door. Get the fuck out.

You watched him leave, brown leather jacket and black tee disappearing into London, and wrenched memories of him from the depths of your brain, the two years of your back and forth rendezvous. You wondered why you didn’t get a song in that time, after his ascent to fame, after the release of other hit singles inspired by his bandmates’ gossip rags and measly shags.

So a year later, when the memories have just begun to purge themselves—when the lyrics, which already have sent a swoop through your stomach, progress into the line When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste… and your knee socks, you effectively choke on your a.m. cappucino. It’s like “Rich Girl” all over again, but this is overt, it’s targeted. Like whoever wrote it must’ve known you’d be listening right now, en route to a shoot at eight in the morning.

“All good, miss?” Ed, your chauffeur, meets your eyes in the rearview, concerned.

“Perf—” your voice cracks. “Perfect.”

You screw your eyes shut and try to collect yourself, zeroing in on the lyrics that’d been foggy before.

Curing his January blues—the month you two started sleeping together.The fact that he’d had your number, a famous stranger, before you had his. Every beat, every word, every deep-voiced lyric traces back to you (unless, of course, he’s busying himself shagging any other girl in London on rainy Tuesdays and letting her wear his now-old polos. The thought sends a pang of jealousy through you.)

But you know better. You know you’re the only one.

Because your phone’s the only one buzzing late into the damp night—when the zeroes line up on the clock by your bed, the one he fixed up for you—with a number you’ve removed the name of, blocked at some point, but can still memorize in his absence.

Maybe tonight you’ll pick up.

[poraphia]

"Lead Singers Love The Attention."

clingy!wilbur x singer!reader pronouns: not specified! 998 words || 8.8.23 My first ever request from @ax-y10 ! I am currently taking requests, so don't be shy to drop some for me :))

He just can't get enough of you, even when you're about to go on stage.

♡♡♡

Picture this.

Your boyfriend, after months of touring the world with his up-and-coming band, has finally come home, but without even a week of quiet time together, you have to pack your things and kiss him goodbye because guess what? now you have to go on tour!

So, what’s the best solution to this predicament?

Well, bringing him along with you of course!

At first, I was reluctant. Throughout the late night facetimes and after-concert texts, he complained time and time again that he missed home and our friends. So, imagine my surprise as I looked up from my phone after some time scrolling away on the couch to see the tall man with a freshly packed suitcase and a determined look on his face.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Will–”

“I want to come with you!” He whined.

Admittedly, what he missed the most was spending time together.

We didn’t make any sort of public announcement that Will would be coming with me to perform besides an ominous tweet Wilbur decided to post on his private account. 

While we were waiting for our plane to be called, I was making phone calls to dismiss the hired guitarist and to let my tour manager know that Wilbur would be taking the role. My eyes happened to drift onto Wilbur’s screen, which read the simple text of “lol plane go brr” before posting it for his thousands of fans to see. With ecstatic eyes, he looked up at me. Eyes that read, “We’re going to have so much fun. I’m happy to be with you again.” It took a couple of times calling my name through the speaker before I snapped back from what spell he put on me. 

Fast forward, we were now in Brooklyn, New York, performing my first concert of the tour. Maybe it was the adrenaline of being back on stage in front of thousands of people or the double-shot espresso in Will’s morning coffee, but he was exhilarated.

Immediately after soundcheck, I found his arms constantly around me. Whether it would be his grip slithering around my waist and pulling me in like a snake lovingly squeezing its prey, to towering behind me with limbs draped over my shoulders and his steady heartbeat pressed against my back. It didn’t matter if I was by myself, talking to my manager, or on stage directing the crew on some small adjustments.

With the charming man that he is, I found nothing but comfort in his warm embrace. Every time I tensed up from stress or anxiety, he would bury himself in my hair as if he was quietly telling me, “I’m here, don’t worry.” And soon enough I would lean back in his touch, feeling his hands moving me closer and his heartbeat’s pace picking up. 

But now, it was time for my, or rather, our, first performance of the tour.

I stood on the side of the stage. The curtains were still closed to prevent anyone from getting a sneak peek of the set. Wilbur stood next to me, letting me use his hand as stress relief as I open and closed my grip on his fingers. My manager, looking at me from the other side of the stage, gave me a thumbs up, letting me know that the curtains will be drawing back soon.

“You ready, darling?” He asked, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. With a deep sigh, I looked at him and smiled.

“More than ever.” 

His excitement pulled on the corners of his lips as he leaned down, holding a kiss right onto mine. I cupped his face with both of my hands, fluttering my eyes closed as anxious moths turned into fluttering butterflies in my stomach. Wilbur’s hand held tightly onto his guitar’s neck, careful to not let it bump into me, while his other hand rested on my shoulder.

Soon enough the stage countdown started playing in my ear monitor, meaning that the curtains were being drawn back. In an act of confidence, I slowly began walking backward onto the stage, but Wilbur was determined to keep his lips on mine.

Soon enough the sound of screaming fans flooded both of our ears as I felt the smile on Will’s face widen. I could feel thousands of eyes on us, but he was firm in his position. We were under beaming stage lights with my name shining in LED behind us, but even if there was an ecstatic crowd of thousands in front of us, only his loving touch can make me feel like we were in our own world. Like we were out past midnight on the sidewalk with only the streetlight putting us in the spotlight.

I pulled away to finally greet my crowd, but Will trailed after me, sneaking little pecks on the lips as I giggled. After what felt like a hundred more kisses for a six-foot walk, I grabbed the microphone off of the stand.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, Brooklyn.” I chuckled. Wilbur leaned over my shoulder, almost dividing half of his height to get his mouth near the microphone.

“You know how a lead singer loves the attention, (y/n).” He said charmingly, causing another abrupt cheer from the crowd. Wilbur turned to look at me now. “Now let’s get this thing started, shall we?” He pressed one final kiss on my temple before placing himself in his designated stage spot. The other musicians I hired followed suit, and once it looked like everything was ready, I placed the mic back onto the stand while still keeping both hands wrapped around the handle.

“Welcome to the tour, Brooklyn!” I exclaimed. “I want to see you singing along, jumping, and most of all, having fun!” With one deep inhale I took in that concert energy that all these people embodied to cheer me on. There was nothing going to be in my way to give it all back to them.

“ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!”

♡♡♡

love my writing? more wilbur soot here!!

a / n ~ tysm for reading if u enjoyed i'd appreciate reblogs n likes :)) thank u for being such a kind community so far!!

[gh0stsp1d3r]

i have a idea (my brain is going crazy omg). So can I request a hobie x reader where they kinda have this friends of benefits situation. It was the reader idea but hobie seriously love the reader. So maybe a “angry” confession of hobie because he’s jealous lol

If that okay for you of course :))

Have a great day

Just friends?

Hobie and you laid down, staring at each other.

“So.. What do you think of coming to the pub on Sunday? Me and my band are performing.” He shrugged.

“Uhh.. yeah. Sure, why not.”

He nodded. “Cool.”

“I’m sure you’re great.”

“I am.”

You rolled your eyes, and cuddled up closer to him.

———————————————————————-

How could one miss the small glances, or the tension between you both? Most people thought you were secretly dating, but you guys always said you were just friends.

Normally Hobie said he didn’t like labels or consistency, but he felt like he was willing to break those rules for you.

Not like he’d ever say that to you. He was sure that you didn’t want a relationship.

You looked around in the pub, and spotted Hobie sipping on a beer, his wicks standing out. You took a seat next to him, he looked at you with a smile.

“You came.”

“I did.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged and paid the bartender, moving through the crowd of people.

“C’mon.” He mumbled, grabbing your hand and pulling you backstage.

“Hey, Johnny.” He waved to his singer, you followed behind him.

“Hey man!” They did a handshake that they had and Johnny looked to you “Who’s this?” He nodded to you.

“Y/n, my friend.” He put an arm around your your shoulder and looked at you.

Johnny quirked an eyebrow as if to say “You sure?”

Hobie hit him in the shoulder and led you to a small chair not too far from the stage, so you could see a little of it.

“Jus’ sit ‘ere for a little, yeah?” You nodded and sat down, opening up your phone.

“You sure you two are just friends?” Johnny asked him, looking at you and fixing up his hair.

“‘It’s complicated.” Hobie tuned his guitar, holding the pick in his mouth.

“I can tell you like ‘er just by the way you look.” He laughed quietly.

“I do, but she jus’ wants to be friends. It’s just hooking up. ‘Sides, I don’t like labels.” Hobie shrugged.

“Neither do I, but look at me with a boyfriend of 4 years. You don’t know that she don’t like you.” He shrugged, and went off to go look back at the sheets.

Hobie looked back at you, smiling and laughing with one of the stagehand men.

His jaw clicked. Was he seriously getting jealous?

Hobie was never jealous. Never has been, and for once in his life, he’s feeling jealous over you simply talking to a stagehand. He’s never felt possessive, but just a tiny part in him wanted you for himself.

He ignored it as his band mates started to group up, and he went up to them. Soon, they started to perform. The time went by fast, and everyone seemed to be having fun.

“That’s our guitarist, Hobie Brown.” Hobie played a small solo, and then the rest of the group were introduced and then they left.

They all smiled and laughed, talking and chattering for a while. Hobie kept glancing at you and Johnny hit him in his arm.

“Go for it, man”

Hobie sighed heavily, saying goodbye to his teammates, and walked up to you.

“It was… amazing!” You said, with a smile on your face. You stood up.

“Thanks. Ya know.. you should come around more often.” He laughed.

“You’re amazing, you know?”

“I know.” He smirked smugly, crossing his arms and you punched him in his shoulder. He laughed and put his hands up in defense.

You rolled your eyes and laughed.

“Lemme take you home, yeah?” He said.

“Please. I don’t feel like calling a taxi.”

He nodded and looked ahead, looking at the people clear out of the pub. He went into the parking lot, opening the dingy passenger door for you.

The car was passed down, and he didn’t need to buy it (saying how if he did buy it it would be him helping big corporations)

“What a gentleman.” You teased him, he rolled his eyes and got in the drivers seat.

“Hey, so, I was just thinking, would you wanna hang out on Saturday maybe?” He said nervously.

You looked at him. “At your house or mines?”

“I was thinking… more like a small cafe or somethin’? I know one right down the street-“

You stared at him and you stared ahead, saying nothing.

“I’ll take that as a no..” he mumbled under his breath.

“Hobie…”

“I like you, Y/N.” He said, almost angry.

You stared at him, still driving.

“I can’t just keep doing this. I want more-“

“Hobie.”

“-And I know you said this would never happen but I can’t help it. You’re the best person I know, you’re beautiful, you’re just-“

“Hobie.” You repeated.

He looked at you.

“I love you.”

“Seriously?”

“I love you. I didn’t wanna say anything cause I thought that you didn’t want anything more-“

“I do.” He stopped at your house, and looked at you. You both leaned in and kissed.

———————-

Tag list:

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