#but now the inside of that ear hurts and my head hurts and i’m so FUCKING grumpy i’m going to fucking kill someone

[foldingfittedsheets]

I was telling my coworker about my weekend and he was in hysterics listening to my cascade of bad and bizarre decisions. Since most of my coworkers know I have some small notoriety here he asked, “Did you put this on tumblr?”

“No! I’m too embarrassed!”

He exclaimed, “You write about your UTI’s and dildo bathrooms and this is too embarrassing!? Pillows??”

So fine. Here’s my embarrassing pillow story for your enjoyment.

I have been struggling desperately to find a new pillow that I love. My Tempurpedic Symphony was over ten years old and disgusting and I needed to stop sleeping on a biohazard so I finally tossed it. I tried to replace it with a new one but Tempurpedic changed the density and the new one is shit.

Thus began the saga of pillows. My parents got me a Purple Harmony. I liked it very much in store. At home it was too tall. I exchanged it for the low. This was too low. Frustrated I called my mom to ask if she liked hers to which she said no so I asked to give it another shot.

Enter, the villain. My mom’s house does not smell bad. But it does smell strongly. It’s hard to quantify and again it’s not a bad smell it is simply powerful and foreign. The pillow I took from her was saturated with what my beloved and I began to call Mom Smell.

The pillow still smelled like mom’s house weeks after coming into our home, even after being slept on and with protectors and pillow cases, the smell permeated. The pillow was still too tall. So then I entered an experimental phase. The purple pillow is made up of a latex insert with a gel grid around it on the outside. The inset was too tall, but I could use the gel grid external to wrap around a pillow that was too low!

I stuffed every conceivable iteration into the purple grid. I tried the new symphony. I tried existing pillows in my home. I even borrowed a pillow from the back room at work which wasn’t in inventory so it was okay and the worst part was that was the perfect height but too soft to stay that height and ended up disappointing me and being surreptitiously returned.

I then tried an IKEA pillow that a Reddit thread suggested was similar to the original symphony and was delighted to learn that it came in three pieces so the height could be adjusted. This kicked off a new round of experimentation after I realized the pillow itself was rock solid and hurt my ears. The 1” insert could be added to things to try to bring too low pillows to the correct height. I still need to try to return this pillow.

I then turned to my friend who also owns a mattress store and asked if he had a Technogel pillow to trade for one of the Purple pillows. He agreed and I ended up with a Technogel that’s 5.5” which is sliiiiightly too tall. Then I remembered:

During this frenzy of pillow madness I’d foisted two pillows onto my mom in exchange for the purple pillow and belatedly realized that one of them was a Technogel that had been too low. Now with an insert I realized it could be perfect. So I got the pillow back but I faced a problem.

The Mom Smell.

I didn’t want to wait two or more weeks for the smell to pass normally. So I got the pillow back and indeed, it had Mom Smell. I then remembered that my beloved had been gifted something called “pillow mist” from their employer ages ago that had a sage smell I liked.

So I took the pillow, sprayed the inside of the dryer and set it to low to coat the nice sage smell into the foam.

This was a mistake.

The dryer suddenly reeked of sage and musk, the heat having amplified the mist out of all proportion. The whole upstairs screamed the contents of the innocuous bottle and my head instantly hurt. Now not only did the pillow reek of a new louder smell, so did the dryer.

I looked around and spotted vinegar and decided to wipe down the dryer with it in hopes of wiping out the overpowering mist smell. Afterward it smelled like hot vinegar which was something of an improvement. I regarded the pillow and could practically see animated smell lines coming off it. I wiped that with vinegar too. Then it smelled like SAGE Vinegar Mom.

I finally collapsed in a puddle of defeat, having created and defeated several problems but ultimately having made a pillow much stinkier than before.

My beloved came home.

They listened to my tiny tale of woe with increasing amusement.

They asked, “Why didn’t you use the Febreze?”

“What? They don’t have Febreze that’s unscented, do they?”

My beloved walked into the bathroom and came out with a bottle of unscented Febreze that would have solved my problem instantly. I facepalmed hard enough to cause brain damage.

I sprayed the pillow. It sat for a few days, ready to join my parade of pillow experiments. The sage and vinegar are both thankfully gone.

It does however still smell faintly of my mother.

[dante-mightdie]

Girl if you don’t give us some more low self esteem reader x price i think i’m gonna die 😫😫 genuinely one of my favs!!

john who finally convinces our lovely low self esteem reader to let him take her out and when the time comes, he’s outside your door all suited and booted. expensive bouquet in his hand as he shifts on his feet, anxiously waiting for you to open the door

it’s been ten minutes since he rung the doorbell. ten minutes since you text him saying you’d be down in a second. he understands that sometimes a lady needs time getting ready but now you aren’t even responding to his messages checking on you

he can’t see you pacing from your bathroom back to your bedroom, pulling and twisting at your outfit until it ‘fits right’. cursing under your breath each time you apply more lip gloss or mascara, only to end up smudging your makeup and ruining it

he can’t see the tears welling in your eyes each time you catch your reflection and you just can’t do it. nothing is working because of you. and john is going to see that. john is going to see you. and you just can’t have that so you leave him down there, waiting for you as you sniffle and pull at your hair in frustration

so he calls you, stepping back to see if your upstairs light was still on as the ringing drones on in his ear. and when you do finally pick up, the first thing he’s greeted with is sniffles

“h-hi john…” you say, a nervous laugh following. before he can ask if you’re okay, you speak again. “m’really sorry to do this but… uhm…”

“love?” he cuts you off, a gentle tone in his voice so you know he’s not upset. a few seconds silence follows before you sniffle again

“yeah?” he can hear the sadness in your voice, the uncertainty. his eyes flick up once more to look at the light coming from your upstairs window

“come open the door, yeah? let me see ya, doll… been waiting all week to see that pretty smile just one more time.” the heat pooling in your stomach at his sweet words causes more tears to leak down your cheeks

you don’t know why he’s any different to the other guys you’ve shut down. you don’t know why you agree to see him and shuffle downstairs to open the door

but that kind smile he throws your way when you finally open the door is enough to make your lip wobble a little more so he distracts you with the bouquet of your favourite flowers

“how did you know-?” you’re ready to question him, and he can see the little glint in your eye. runaway thoughts of maybe this guy is a stalker who’s been watching you. not some prince charming like you’d be reluctantly convincing yourself.

“I asked ya friends at the bar when I was getting your drinks. wanted to know what I should get you for our first date.” there’s a proud beam in his smile, like he knows he’s won you over a little there

“You hadn’t even asked me out yet…” you giggle slightly, sniffling before looking down at the stunning arrangement of flowers

“don’t matter, darling. I knew I was going to the second I saw you…” he states it like it’s obvious, like you should know he was going to pursue you. his hand reaches up to wipe your teary cheeks before offering you his arm to take

“hang on let me change.” you go to turn but he stops you, shaking his head and taking the initiative to wrap your arm in his

“none of that. you look beautiful…” you hate the way his words turn you to mush inside. you hate yourself for falling for it, for leaving yourself vulnerable to his sweet words and charming smile

but you don’t hate him, and the attention he gives you so you figure one date with the handsome man who bought you a drink couldn’t hurt

[dollediary]

I’m So Sick of Me Too

pairings ❥ jay x fem!reader (ft. eric from the boyz)

point of view ❥ third person, omniscient

warnings ❥ N/A

synopsis ❥ after what felt like a sudden breakup with her boyfriend of many years, y/n finds herself holding onto the remaining pieces chipping from a failed relationship. after wallowing in an isolated self pity, her two best friends convince her to go to a party where she meets the perfect boy to fill the void. unsure if her attraction is genuine or a distraction, y/n has one choice to makeㅡ be with her newfound lover or make it work with her first love.

genre ❥ angst, smut

word count ❥ 15,515

taglist: open, just ask!

author’s note: sorry i’m posting this a little later than i had hoped, i just wanted it to be absolutely perfect. ignore any errors, please and thank you. let me know how yall like it! and feel free to leave any future scene suggestions. the plot is set, but the story is an open book.

SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT | ENHYPEN MASTERLIST

ONE.

“babe,” y/n’s voice pulled jay out of his thoughts. he turned his head to look at her, her expression filled with expectancy—the kind that made his chest tighten. he already knew where this was headed. another argument. “you good?” her question was simple, but jay knew any response could open the floodgates.

it was one of his only days off after a long, grueling week. he was utterly drained. all he wanted was a moment of peace. the energy to engage, to explain, wasn’t there. “yeah,” he muttered, giving her a small nod before turning back to the tv. propping his feet on the coffee table, he stared blankly at the screen, hoping she’d let it go. but the silence only seemed to amplify the tension between them.

y/n shifted in her seat, clearly unsatisfied. “okay…” she replied, her tone trailing off before she reached for the remote and paused the show. the sudden silence made him tense. “then why are you so quiet today?” she pressed, her voice carrying an edge.

jay’s fingers tapped idly against his phone. he exhaled slowly. “i just don’t feel like talking right now,” he said, his voice firm but measured. he hoped that would be enough, but he knew she’d likely not take the hint and let him be. “and i’m not trying to argue either.”

y/n’s eyes narrowed slightly at his last sentence, a feeling of defensiveness rising within her. “okay, well, you haven’t said anything in the past hour. you can save the attitude—i was just checking on you.”

his jaw tightened. “i don’t have an attitude, y/n,” jay said, his tone now laced with frustration. he set his phone down on the armrest, resisting the urge to rub his temples. his shoulders stiffened as he tried to focus on keeping his cool, though irritation bubbled under the surface.

y/n crossed her arms, her voice raising with aim. “and i’m supposed to know that how? show me, don’t tell me.” she tilted her head, raising an eyebrow in challenge, her expression poking at the remaining fragments of his patience.

he turned his head toward her, his gaze heavy. “can you not right now?” the plea in his voice wasn’t subtle and his request didn’t fall deaf on her ears. a flip switched inside of her. her angry facade seemed to quickly chip away, and her true emotion seeped through.

“not what? i’m just trying to spend time with my boyfriend,” she shot back, her voice cracking with the weight of unspoken hurt. “the boyfriend i haven’t seen in forever, mind you, because he’s been working all week.”

by now her voice was soft, trembling. each breath she took was weighted in fear of misinterpretation. “and i’m so sorry if it’s selfish of me, but if there’s any day you feel like ‘not talking,’ why does it have to be the one day we actually get to be together?” she averted his gaze, fidgeting with the buttons on the remote, a quiet plea for understanding.

the words hit him, leaving his breath caught in his throat for a moment. he opened his mouth, searching for any way to defend himself, but nothing felt right. “me not talking doesn’t have anything to do with you,” he finally said, leaning back to lay more on the couch. his voice was tight as he moved his gaze to look past her, crossing one leg over his lap, and tapping his foot on the floor with the other.

y/n let out a bitter laugh. “yeah? well, guess who’s the only one being affected by it?!” the volume of her voice caught both of them off guard. shit. she swore she didn’t mean to yell. before she was able to react, to apologize, or at least explainㅡ jay had already straightened himself up, shooting her a warning gaze.

“stop it, y/n.” his voice rose slightly this time, betraying his simmering frustration. her shoulders slugged, her face turning with every muscle trying to hold back the tears brimming. it only heightened their presence as she began blinking them away.

“i just want to talk,” she said, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions as they spilled over, unable to bear the sting of his distant demeanor any longer. “am i really that uninteresting that my own boyfriend doesn’t even want to have a conversation with me?”

the air between them grew thick with unspoken words. the silence stretched long enough for both of their thoughts to race. for jay, it was a desperate search for the right words, something that could fix this—or at least end it. for y/n, it was a growing ache in her chest, a sense that something irreversible was about to happen. she began rubbing her arm softly in a back and forth motion, anticipating.

when jay finally spoke, his voice was steady, deliberate. “i want to break up.” the words hung in the air. she found herself remaining silent as she looked at him, unsure of what to do. while this wasn't exactly something new for them, there was something different about the look in his eyes this time around. their eyes stayed fixed on each other, a distant gaze in place of connection. his words echoed loudly in her ears.

her lips parted slightly, but no sound came out. she blinked, her mind racing to catch up. surely, this wasn’t real. surely, he didn’t mean it. her body stilled as she unconsciously dug her fingernails into her arm amidst the comforting massage. her eyes glazed over with tears, squinting in confusion, her heart racing as jay moved to sit closer to her. “what?” was all she could manage to get out, her voice barely above a whisper.

jay didn’t look away this time. his gaze was heavy, tired, but unwavering. “i mean it,” he said, quieter now, but no less certain. looking down, a sigh left his lips. he fought for a moment with her frozen grip before he was able to pry her arm off, stopping her from causing any further harm to herself. and now, all she could think about was how the feeling of his skin on hers hurt so much more. he was looking at her now, but the contact lasted no longer than a second before he turned away. “and i- i thought about it a lot. it’s what’s best for us. i just don’t think we’re good for each other anymore.”

“how can you say that, jay?” her voice cracked as she blinked, tears finally escaping along with a small sob that hardly went unnoticed in the now painfully silent room. she maneuvered, her eyes searching for something in his. he looked at her again with a look she’d never seen before. it scared her. “no. we’re not the kind of couple who breaks up. that’s not how this works, you said that yourself.” indignation clear in her voice, it was hard for her to hold back the resentment she was already starting to feel. 

jay only sighed, regretful of his open and now outdated mindset. if he had known their relationship would turn out the way it did, he would have just stayed quiet. in the past she was successful in avoiding his serious attempts, several times, with that reasoning. it was always the most convincing point to get him to stay, she knew he hated not staying true to his word. he hesitated, his cautious gaze meeting hers before he continued. “i'm not happy.”

she had never heard those words before, and their weight hit her hard, leaving her stunned. this couldn’t be real. panic flared in her chest as she grasped for something, anything, to turn the conversation around. “i think this is just one of your moods—” she started, her voice trembling, a fragile attempt to mend what was breaking before he interjected.

“no, y/n. i mean it this time. i can’t do this anymore.”

reading the room became difficult, the usually familiar scene felt foreign now. she didn’t recognize any of the territory that was being invadedㅡ she didn’t know what to do. shaking her head, she offers a small, corner lifted smile. “but we always get through it, jay.“

“it’s different this time, y/n.”

“and why is it different now?” her voice wavered, caught between desperation, anger, and disbelief. her emotions swirled like a storm. staying composed felt impossible; every attempt to ground herself  only deepened the ache in her chest. everything was hurting, and all she could do was wish, futilely, that none of this was real.

“this," jay said, physically motioning to the state of the conversation. he turned away to wipe away the stray tears that managed to fall in between blinks. “nothing ever changes. all we do is argue.”

“all couples argue, jay. that’s the reality of things,” she said, the calm in her tone an abrupt contrast to her previous attitudes. “relationships take work, jay. and we always make it work,” her eyes darted to his, desperately looking for any newfound doubt in his words. but there wasn’t any.

“it's not.. just about that," jay said, shaking his head, his voice barely above a whisper now shameful of what he was fixing to admit. “i've tried so hard to make it work, but i'm unhappy, y/n. and i hate that i feel this way, but sometimes it feels like i hate you as much as i love you. do you even know how much that tears me up inside?" his face was repentant at his admission, it was a sinful hidden thought that he previously denied since its first conception. he never wanted to verbalize it because it only highlighted how shitty he truly was to feel that way toward her.

"you don’t mean that." y/n shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as if the gesture could block out the anguish his words just caused. her body went cold, her senses wasting no time overwhelming her all at once. jay bit the inside of his lip, his teeth silently clattering against the soft tissue.

everything in his heart ached, a deep, unrelenting pain that seemed to grow with every second. he was caught in conflict—the desperate desire to follow through with the breakup, to free himself from the heaviness that had been suffocating him, clashing with the torment of knowing how deeply his choice would hurt her. it wasn’t just her pain he feared; it was his own, the thought of watching her break because of him. but he had to do what was right.

"i wish i didnt, but it's the truth, y/n. i can't be who i want to be in this relationship. i can't keep living like this."

"jay…" his silence now weighed more than any words could, it tore through her like a jagged blade. "is this really what you want?" for a moment, his eyes softened, but it was gone before she could catch it. the silence stretched, heavy with all the words he couldn't say. she wanted to cling onto the fleeting feeling, to believe it meant he was having doubts. but when his lips parted, it wasn't the response she was hoping for.

"it's for the best."

“no, no, no, no,” the finality of his words shattered what was left of her hope. the barrier of control she had on her emotions ruptured as she shook her head. she hesitantly reached her hand out, pulling it away quickly to avoid any more possible rejection from the boy. her heart couldn’t endure much more. "please.. don't do this."

"i'm sorry, y/n," he slowly approached her, wrapping his arms around her. she let him pull her into a hug, holding him close and tight as she allowed all of her anger and grief to wash away along with the salty tears staining her cheeks. though allowing his embrace would only further affirm her acceptance of the end, which is the last thing she wanted, she needed to feel his touch. especially knowing this may be the last time he'll ever hold her.

her chest tightened as she buried her face in his chest, clinging to his steady heartbeat, a cruel contrast to her own. neither of them spoke or moved for a while. a couple minutes in, she noticed that he was now trembling against her. it broke her heart even more. from the way he seemed to hold her just as close for comfort, she knew it was hurting him too. she supposed, maybe, it was for the best. she pulled away slightly, quickly regretting it as she saw how his eyes were red and glistened over, cheeks wet with the silent tears he shed. "can we at least be friends?" the words felt hollow, a desperate attempt to keep him in her life, even though she knew it would never be enough. 

he only nods though he knows she didn't truly want that for herself. placing his hold on her arms, gently before slowly removing himself from her embrace. he wiped away his tears and cleared his throat. the only thing on his mind now was getting out of there before he could go back on his word. he had to remind himself that this was the right thing to do. even if it meant hurting them both. clearing his throat he spoke up, regaining his composure to be the voice of reason they needed in the moment. "i guess i should head out now. i think we both need time to ourselves.”

"yeah.."

he took the time to quickly head to the door without waiting to see her reaction. his hands were shaking, the weight of the world only seemed to press down upon his shoulders, only now wishing he could've pushed through and tried to make things work one last time. but he knew that wasn't possible, and it just wasn't worth putting her through any more than he already had. the door clicked shut behind him, leaving an echo of silence in his absence.

the month after the breakup felt like a blur for y/n. while the world around her seemed to move forward, she remained stuck in a loop of missing jay, reaching out to him, waiting for his replies, and doing everything in her power to keep their connection alive despite the fact that he was clearly starting to pull away.

she couldn’t help it. every morning she found herself wanting to talk to him, by any means. today was no different as she looked at her thumb hovering over his contact. it had become almost instinctual, reaching out to him no matter how embarrassing it was starting to become. she took a deep breath, ignoring her reluctant thoughts and started typing.

heyy jay :) haven’t heard from you in a minute. everything okay?

she sent it before she could second guess herself, staring at the screen as the message went through. her heart raced as she waited for his response. then, the minutes passed, stretching into what felt like hours. she spent a while scrolling aimlessly through her notifications, trying hard to look for the one label that refused to appear. two hours had gone by, and still nothing.

she clicked the power button with a sigh, pulling her legs closer to her chest as she rested her chin on her knees, staring blankly at the phone. the silence of her lonely apartment felt so loud now. the lack of response made the small ache in her chest turn into a deeper, more persistent pain. she hated feeling this way, vulnerable, needy, desperate. it wasn’t like her.

she remained frozen in her spot on the bed, feeling like she couldn’t move until she got what she wanted. juggling through every scenario in her head, she almost began sinking into the self loathing feeling. but one look at the clock on her lock screen seemed to pull her out a little bit. she reminded herself that being pessimistic was the last thing she needed to do. instead, she should speak her desire into existence. “calm down, y/n,” she whispered to herself. “it’s still early. he’ll reply later, he always does.”

getting out of bed, she stretched a bit before making her way into the kitchen. at least, this time around, she could still make the most of her day. she was lucky in that sense; it was getting easier to distract herself from thoughts of him. before she realized it, hours had gone by and she was sitting in her living room watching tv when her phone finally pinged.

muting the sound of the show, she quickly glanced down, her heart nearly pouncing out of her chest. jay’s name. her fingers hovered above the screen, the moment she read his texts, that feeling of dread that she’d been holding back all day crashed over her. it felt like he’d handed her a piece of paper instead of a message from someone she’d spent every waking moment with for years. it was brief and impersonal, so unlike jay, yet so familiar as of late. 

hey, yeah. things are good, just tired

she stared blankly at the message for a while, continuously rereading, mouthing the words in every tone she could, trying to read in between the few lines he offered her, but it was impossible to make something out of nothing. and it felt like he was doing the bare minimum, acknowledging her existence by replying as if it was an obligation he had to fulfill. she figured that her reply could spark a more active response. 

i feel you. guess it’s been rough for both of us, huh. i hope you’ve been good otherwise. it’s getting colder these days, hope you’re staying warm ☺️

she waited in the chat upon seeing that he immediately opened her text, watching the three dots bubble up on her screen, only to vanish soon after. she stared at the notification as it remained unanswered for a while. “read at 2:23pm.” twenty minutes had gone by and she was unsure of what to say next or if she should say anything at all. 

despite her first failed attempt, y/n decided to brush it off and push forward. biting her lip, she took her time drafting and perfecting her next message. whatever she was going to say next had to warrant a response. if he saw how bad she wanted to talk, surely he’d give in. jay was never the kind of guy to intentionally neglect her feelings. it wasn’t in his character to hurt her. 

so, what’s been keeping you busy lately?

she typed, trying to sound casual, but her confidence faltered when she read it over. it was the kind of text she would’ve sent months ago, back when their relationship was solid and they could talk for hours without feeling the need for a pause.

this time, her message read “delivered”. but she watched as the three dotted bubble appeared again, and decided to leave the app while she continued waiting. this time, he would respond differently, she thought, he had to. holding on to a glimmer of hope, she gave it thirty minutes. but her phone only went quiet. what a waste.

opening instagram, she opted to scroll to distract herself from thinking of him further and that’s when she saw it. jay’s story. it wasn’t anything remarkable, just a picture of him out with some of their mutual friends. but the fact that he was posting on his story, without replying to her text, stung. she scoffed in an attempt to brush off the hurt she was beginning to feel, telling herself it was no big deal. it didn’t help much. no matter how she tried to view it, it was a silent reminder that his focus was elsewhere now. 

but, maybe it was nothing. maybe he just didn’t feel like texting. she tried once again to reason, but the thought still lingered, gnawing at her. why couldn’t he just reply? it was evident now that jay just wasn’t going to reach out on his own; he wasn't going to do anything. she’d have to be the one to make the effort, while holding onto the hope of things going back to how they were. maybe she was being too much, doing too much. “if i leave him alone for a few days, he’ll feel it, too.”

it had been days now and the reality of the situation was truly starting to sink in. over the span of the weeks they’d agreed to be friends, jay’s attempts to deny more interactions had finally come to an end. they were flat out doing no contact now. she tried deactivating her social media accounts in an effort to stop hurting herself further by looking at his page, but all it led to was viewing anonymously online. she wasn’t talking to anybody at that point, burying herself deeper into isolation as she began ignoring even her own best friends. but, it wasn’t something the girls were taking lightly.

she was laid out on the couch, the living room becoming a pigsty she found refuge in. empty bags of chips, noodle packages, discarded water bottles, candy wrappers, as well as tear soaked tissues flooded the table and floors. she lay sprawled out on the couch watching a romance k-drama, feeling envious of the love that the main character was receiving though she was barely paying attention. she was moreso staring through the screen rather than at it, not bothering to retain much of the plot, just trying to fill the void in any way she could. 

she barely flinched upon her doorbell ringing. in fact, she didn’t even hear it. pulling her blanket more over her body, she closed her eyes, not opening them until she heard the beeping noises her door only made when the passcode was being typed in. she shot up in a panic. only three people knew of her codeㅡ one of them being jay, and she could not risk him seeing her living in such an unkempt manner. making quick of her movements, she grabbed an armful of the trash and ran to the kitchen to toss it out. she stayed in the kitchen grabbing a trash bag as she heard the door open and shut, followed by light footsteps. a familiar voice called out.

“y/n, are you home?”

“yujin?” two girls, yujin and chaewon, walked into the living room grimacing at the state it was in. a small hint of rotting processed food was pungent in the air, to which the girls slightly scrunch their noses at. y/n couldn’t hide her disappointment as she walked into the room, the trash bag rustling with each step. “chae? what are you guys doing here?”

chaewon immediately recognized the girl’s expression and playfully rolled her eyes in an attempt to lighten the mood. “wow, we’re so happy to see you too, y/n.” her words make y/n mentally facepalm at the rudeness she’d unknowingly displayed, frowning as she walked  closer to them. without a word, the girls begin picking up the trash, discarding them into the bag y/n held. yujin wasted no time wondering off to get cleaning supplies, coming back to wipe the table. it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence they sat in while they cleaned, but it was clear that something definitely needed to be confronted now.

“sorry guys. i was just expecting someone… you know, else.”

“like who? he who shall not be named?” yujin asked, referencing jay, but it only made y/n grimace. the girl had struck a nerve. the statement only made her think of him more. it wasn’t yujin’s fault, though. none of her friends even knew they weren’t on speaking terms anymore. a knot formed in y/n’s stomach having to silently acknowledge how silly her initial thoughts were. jay had made zero effort to even talk to her, what sense would it make for him to visit?

“i don’t know.” but she did, and so did they. that’s why they were here to begin with. after the mess was all cleaned up, and you could finally see the beauty that was y/n’s living room again, they guided y/n to sit on the couch. chaewon was perched on the arm of it while yujin sat cross-legged on the floor, both watching y/n like she was an emotional bomb ready to explode at any given moment. the tension in the room felt like a third guest.

chaewon, the usual mediator, broke the silence first. treading lightly on upfront confrontation, she decided to stick with a lighthearted approach to the situation. what y/n needed was a friend, not a therapist. “okay, spill. when’s the last time you left this place?”

y/n’s silence spoke volumes as she sighed, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. “i don’t know. a while?” it wasn’t like she wasn’t keeping track, she could tell you it's been 33 days since she last saw jay, 11 days since he stopped viewing her story, and 9 days since his last text to her. how long she had been in her isolation, though? she couldn’t say, all the days seemed to blur in that category.

 yujin raised an eyebrow. “define ‘a while.’ days? weeks… a month?” 

now, y/n’s voice was barely above a whisper. “two weeks, maybe.”

“two weeks?!” chaewon groaned, grabbing the throw pillow and swatting y/n with it, adding a bit of force in an attempt to knock some sense into the girl. she supposed she underestimated how much it was affecting y/n. though she was upset at the girl’s response to her breakup, she felt worse that she didn’t think to step in sooner. “babe, no wonder. you’re practically fermenting in here. i don’t hate to say this, but it’s time for divine intervention.”

y/n sucked in a breath, but didn’t argue. instead, she stared at the freshly cleaned coffee table, her thoughts wandering back to jay. the way he used to rest his feet there, watching tv, the way he—

yujin snapped her fingers in front of y/n’s face. “nope. i can see it in your eyes— we’re not doing that today. chae, tell her the plan.”

“ah, right! the plan,” chaewon said, leaning in with a grin and wiggling her eyebrows, “is simple: you’re coming with us to a party tonight. and before you even start, you’re not busy, you’re not tired. none of that. i don’t want to hear any excuses.”

y/n’s face scrunched as she blinked. “a party? seriously? what are we? teenagers?”

“yes, seriously,” yujin said, standing up and grabbing y/n’s hands to pull her to her feet, the girl not fighting back as she stood. “you’re never too old to party. and, girl… you need this. sitting in here is only hurting you, and you know it.”

“but—”

“yes, butts! that’s exactly what i expect you to be shaking tonight,” chaewon interjected. “yujin and i already have the vision. you’ll pop out in a bomb ass outfit, we’ll pregame to set the mood, you know just get the vibes up. it's gonna be fun!” her eyes twinkled as she envisioned the whole scene. she waved her hand, slowly moving it in front of her face as if the girls could see what she was imagining. “you’ll drink a little, dance a little, smoke if you’re feeling good, and maybe even forget about… him.”

the slight, bitter acknowledgment of the boy left y/n feeling a lump form in her throat, she tried to shake off the thought of jay from creeping up again. but it was hard to stop once she already started, and everything in her heart was telling her no. a party was the last thing she needed. she could barely hide her hurt from her own friends, how could they expect her to pull through for hours at a party?

“i just don’t think i’m ready.”

“is that not the point?” yujin said gently, softly caressing y/n’s face with a sympathetic pout. the girl could only look away, feeling as though her eyes would be a dead giveaway to the truthㅡ it would hurt too much. sensing the mood shift, yujin sighed. “hey. you don’t have to be ready to start moving on, we don’t expect you to. we know how much you lovedㅡ sorry, love that man. but staying alone like this isn’t good for you, y/n.”

“you’ve even pulled away from us, we’re worried about you,” chaewon nodded, walking over to the girls and grabbing y/n’s hand. “all we’ve been thinking about lately is you. how you’re feeling, how you’re doing, constantly wondering if you’re okay. and now that we’ve seen the mess you’ve found comfort in, in your solitude, you deserve to at least get your mind off of it for one night. then we can start helping  you heal tomorrow.”

the unshakeable resistance y/n once had, started to falter as she looked at her friends’ determined faces. they weren’t just here to drag her out of the house, they genuinely cared. she wondered how much her absence, and wallowing in self pity, was truly affecting the people around her. even if she wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to go, maybe it was worth a shot. after all, they went through the trouble of planning things out, as well as helping her clean her depressive mess. it was worth trying for them.

“fine,” she muttered. “but if it sucks, i’m leaving early.”

“deal,” chaewon said, clapping her hands. “now, let’s find you something hot to wear. i heard jay’s not going to be there, but let’s make him regret losing you anyway.”

yujin laughed, linking her arm with y/n’s and leading her toward the bedroom. the world seemed to start shining brighter as they walked. “yup. and who knows? maybe you’ll meet someone new.” y/n could only give a small, reluctant smile at the words. she wasn’t sure she believed their optimism, but for the first time in weeks, she felt hopeful. even if the night didn’t fix her heartbreak, at least she wouldn’t be alone with it. and, well, she’s got a blackout long overdue.

after showering and getting ready on their own, it was time for yujin and chaewon to work their magic; “project sad bitch to bad bitch” as yujin proudly proclaimed. chaewon flipped through y/n’s closet quietly, her fingers brushing against the variety of fabrics and patterns hanging from the hangers. “god, y/n,” the girl giggled in disbelief. “do you even wear half of this shit?” y/n only shrugged from her spot on the bed, towel wrapped snugly around her body barely blocking the AC’s cool breeze on her moist skin.

“i don’t know. maybe.”

“seems like you don’t know a lot of things lately, huh?”

“hm, i guess not.”

yujin sat cross-legged on the floor, unpacking her makeup bag and moving a lamp to complete her little setup. huffing at the attitude her friends were catching with each other, she turned to y/n with pleading eyes. “look, we’re not leaving until you’re ready. and no,” she added, looking up at the shivering girl. “sweatpants are not an option.”

confusion flooded y/n’a face as she tilted her head at the girl. “i wasn’t going to wear sweatpants.”

“good,” chaewon said, getting to the back of the closet, a small gleam catching her eyes. pulling out a simple satin slip dress, eyes widening with a smile at the piece. the dress that was destined for setting the mood. “ooh, now this could work.”

y/n eyed the dress and shook her head immediately. it was a part of a lingerie set that she had misplaced, something not meant to be seen in broad daylight, let alone by strangers at a party. she coughed, swatting away the memories that flooded back at the sight of it. there was no way she could wear that. “no. it’s too… i don’t know. they’re pajamas, it’s too much.”

“it’s not,” yujin said firmly, standing to drape the dress against y/n’s frame, already planning out the makeup look she could do to compliment it. it was clearly the best option they had, its slight sexual undertones only further confirming it was the key to a perfect night waiting to happen. “pajamas or not, it’s perfect. beyond that even. tonight’s not about hiding anyway.”

y/n could only sigh in response, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her towel. “i’m not trying to hide, i just don’t feel like being seen.”

“is that not the same thing?” chaewon said, crossing her arms as she gave y/n a reassuring look. “look, we’re not saying you have to feel like a star tonight. we just want you to feel…you know, more like yourself again.”

yujin crouched in front of y/n, her expression softening. giving her best puppy eyes, she pouted and held hands up to the girl, begging with a small shake to emphasize her desperation. “just try, okay? it’s one night. you deserve to feel good about yourself, even if it’s just for a few hours.”

“i don’t feel bad about myself-” she paused when the girls gave her a knowing glance, making her stumble on her words. she glanced between them, her chest tightening. they weren’t forcing her, but they weren’t exactly letting her disappear, either. “you know what? fine,” she said finally, reaching out to take the dress. it was true, the dress was beautiful. the rose pink color highlighted by the sheen of the satin, with black laced edges adding the perfect contrast, made it a staple piece. she had forgotten all about its aura.

“that's what i’m talking ‘bout!” chaewon grinned and reached down to give yujin a round of high fives, their squeals only projecting a small portion of their excitement. y/n took the hanger and made her way into the bathroom. after a few minutes of staring at her reflection in the mirror, she stepped out in the dress. the fabric clung to her frame delicately, the soft sheen catching the light. she looked gorgeous, even with her hair undone. the room was silent as they shamelessly gawked at their best friend who only shifted awkwardly under their gaze.

“wow,” yujin whispered. “you look…”

“so fucking beautiful,” chaewon finished.

y/n only turned to look at herself in the mirror again, her lips pressing into a thin line. hesitant, she stared and tried to do some test poses. she just didn’t know how to feel. an internal scream match ensued, her thoughts becoming two conflicting forcesㅡ one side screaming no, the other trapped in a state, wondering: could i? shaking away her thoughts, she goes with her initial one. “i don’t know, guys. it's not me.”

“it is you,” yujin said gently. “maybe a part of you that you’ve forgotten about, but it’s still you. it wasn’t in your closet for no reason.”

while she wasn’t wrong, the reason definitely wasn’t for this. nonetheless she swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding slightly. juggling the pros and cons in her head, she made note of their actions that led her to this point. she owed it to them. “okay,” she said quietly. “let’s go before i change my mind.”

“makeup first~” chaewon sang out as she guided y/n over to the area where yujin had set everything up. “and i can do your hair, too. two birds, one stone. let’s go.”

the city lights blended into a colorful gradient of neon streaks as the taxi sped through the bustling streets. inside, the atmosphere was electric. y/n, chaewon, and yujin sat in the back, their laughter and chatter blending with the rhythmic hum of the car, the radio playing joyful tunes only further setting the mood.

chaewon, ever the instigator, held up a bottle of peach flavored soju, opening it and holding it to the roof. there was a gleam in her eyes that demonstrated her happiness more than words could explain. “to a night of unforgettable memories,” she declared, her tone light as she carefully waved the bottle mischievously. “with my very best friends.”

yujin grinned, lifting an imaginary bottle as well, reaching over chaewon’s lap to grab y/n’s hand and force her to do the same. “and to making sure y/n doesn’t regret this tomorrow,” she teased.

y/n chuckled a genuine, hearty laugh as she shook her head. “i’m not the one who needs to worry,” she retorted, her voice light but with a hint of challenge. she reached into chaewon’s bag pulling out a plastic shot glass. “is this even smart to be doing in a moving car?”

“yolo,” chaewon smiled in response, pouring a generous amount into the cup, nearly filling it to the brim. “bottoms up,” she urged, her tone playful yet insistent. with a resigned smile, y/n took the shot, the sharpness of the soju’s flavor warming her from the inside. she licked her lips and handed the cap to chaewon, who refilled it with a flourish.

“your turn,” chaewon said, carefully handing the cup to yujin who playfully raised an eyebrow, feigning fake reluctance. “peer pressure at its finest,” she laughed, but took the shot with no hesitation. the trio continued their pregame ritual, the taxi’s interior filled with their laughter and the clinking of bottles. as the cityscape passed by, the anticipation of the party awaiting them grew, each of them eager for the night that awaited them.

when the taxi pulled up, the bass from the party reverberated through the car, the music and laughter spilling out into the cool night air. y/n giggled, already feeling the happy buzz of the drinks from the ride over. chaewon and yujin, also tipsy, were practically bouncing with excitement as they stepped out of the car.

“drive safe, dear! have a good night,” chaewon waved to the driver. as they stepped through the door, they were immediately hit with the scent of perfume, alcohol, and excitement. the large living room was filled with people laughing, dancing, and chatting in their own little groups. y/n swayed slightly to the rhythm, the tipsiness from pregaming still actively lingering in her veins. chaewon and yujin were right beside her, their laughter bright and carefree, matching the energy around them. she pulled her jacket tighter, but it was more out of habit than discomfort.

at first, y/n did feel a bit out of place, but chaewon immediately linked arms with her, pulling her further into the scene. “you’re gonna love it here, i promise,” she grinned, her voice a little louder than usual to compensate for the music’s volume.

yujin, already catching the beat of the music, nudged her playfully. “yeah! tonight’s for fun, no worries.” they made their way over to heeseung, the host, who greeted them with a friendly smile and a quick hug. “hey, guys. glad you could make it! the party’s just getting started.”

y/n couldn’t help but stare at the man in front of her. he was tall, dark, and handsome. the small rose tint that coated his cheeks, caused by the alcohol, pulled the whole look together. it was hard to look away. wow. upon noticing this, chaewon leaned in, whispering to y/n, “heeseung’s the best. and he throws the best parties.”

y/n smiled as she finally broke her stare to meet chaewon’s eyes, her voice a little slurred but still light. “yeah, he seems chill.”

heeseung turned his attention to the girl who wasn’t as familiar with him, his smile faltering just a little. he leaned in closer to chaewon, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone so that y/n wouldn’t hear. “by the way, jay ended up changing his mind about not coming. he’s over there,” he said, glancing toward the other side of the room where jay stood talking to some guys.

his words seemed to sober chaewon up a bit as she tried not to make a reactive face as her eyes followed to where he was motioning to. there he was in the flesh, having the audacity to be enjoying himself while his ex-girlfriend still had the luxury of not knowing of his presence. and chaewon needed to make sure to keep it that way all night. instead, she flashed a quick grin, pulling y/n into the next part of the conversation. “man, we’re taking a cab home. you know what that means?”

“we can get fucked up,” y/n exclaimed doing a little happy dance, humoring the few that could hear what she was saying. heeseung only offered chaewon an encouraging smile, though he wasn’t sure her approach was the best. but what did he know, he was too drunk to really care about it past surface level. yujin, just as blissfully unaware of the situation, grinned ear to ear and high-fived y/n. “now that’s the energy i love to see!”

“yeah, yeah. let’s go mingle now!” chaewon said, waving to heeseung as she led the trio made towards the main area where majority of the people occupied. and of course, with no sign of jay. she spotted jake and sunghoon nearby, and with a social grin, she guided the girls along to greet them, reminding herself she needed to enjoy her time too.

“jake! hoon!” she called out, her voice full of energy. jake looked up from his conversation and grinned, his eyes trailing to each face as he greeted them. “chaewon, yujin, and… no fucking way. is that y/n?! in the flesh?!” he went over to give her a hug, and it signaled to her that he was definitely drunk. “finally, we get to see your pretty face again. it’s about time you join in on the fun!”

y/n, although a little confused, returned the hug and gave the boy a playful smile. “yeah. i guess i needed a little push to leave the house. you know how breakups get you sometimes,” she joked. probably not the funniest thing she could’ve said, but it was real.

sunghoon raised an eyebrow teasingly, making sure not to dwell on the literal aspects of it. he looked her up and down, almost drooling at the sight of her. the way the dress hugged her body, the way her jacket complimented the colors perfectly, even her flats fit the look. “well, i guess it worked out nicely. you look like you’re doing great now.”

yujin laughed, leaning in as if she were about to say something revolutionary. “it’s the party effect. you get here and forget everything.”

“just what i needed,” y/n said, letting herself get lost in the music. she wondered why she avoided everyone for so long. their presence made her feel ten times better in a couple of minutes than she’d felt on her own all month. it was refreshing.

“that’s the spirit!” jake grinned, looking past the girls to see jay walking over again with drinks in hand. thinking quickly, he gestured to the group behind him. “hey, rina and winter are over there. go give them a pleasant surprise.”

chaewon quickly perked up with enthusiasm at the mention of their other girl friends. “ooh! let’s go say hi!”

they headed over to karina and winter, who were standing by the snack table. karina greeted them with a playful smile. “there you guys are! i thought you’d bail on us. hey, y/n! it’s nice to see you again,” her eyes smiled at the girl, admiring the glow. maybe time away was what y/n needed to prosper. karina, like everyone else, was happy to see her again nonetheless.

y/n shook her head, her drunken voice bubbling with laughter. the world seemed to have a hint of saturation to it that she hadn’t seen in a while now. she couldn’t help but to pull karina into a hug, the gesture surprising both of them at the suddenness. “hey! and of course not. we just had to make sure we were up to par. can’t all be natural beauties like you girls.”

“oh stop it, y’all are gorgeous,” winter chimed in, raising her cup with a sigh of content before taking a sip. “man, i needed this after midterms. nothing better than a heeseung party to recharge your academic battery.”

“you know, for a guy that’s so popular amongst everyone, i'm surprised i didn’t know him before this,” y/n pondered for a second. the group laughed, “well, welcome to the real world outside of a relationship. people start existing again.” and soon enough, they were swept up in more conversation and dancing. after a few shots, y/n could feel herself getting lost in the rhythm, her laughter mixing with the music. as they moved back to the dance floor, she realized that maybe, just maybe, she could forget about the weight of it all—at least for tonight. her tipsiness had her in an effortlessly happy state, but she felt like it could be more hype. she leaned closer to chaewon and yujin, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the bass.

“i’m gonna grab a drink,” she said, her lips curling into a small smile. “you guys want anything? shots?”

yujin’s eyes lit up, and she nudged chaewon. “ohhh my god, yes. shots sound perfect.” chaewon grinned, raising her hand slightly. “tequila, if they have it. lime, salt, the good shit, you know how i like it.”

y/n laughed, making mental note of the girls’ orders. “got it, tequila on the rocks for the baddies. i’ll be back.” she spun on her heel, her steps sure as she wove through the crowd, the glow of the party lights casting a warm glow on her skin. emboldening her every move, the alcohol seemed to sink deeper into her veins, the electric energy of the room carrying her forward with effortless grace.

the kitchen set a different mood in contrast to the other rooms she and her friends had occupied that night. the loud, bass-heavy music from the living room was muffled here, replaced by softer chatter and the occasional clink of bottles against glasses. the room smelled faintly of spilled liquor and citrus wedges, surprisingly pleasant, and the counters were crowded with a mess of an inviting display of liquor bottles and red cups.

she ran her hand along the countertop that was cool on her heated skin. her eyes skimmed the options in front of her. there the tequila was for chaewon and yujin, but which brand to choose? she didn’t know. she bit her lip, trying to focus despite the pleasant buzz in her head craving excitement. she didn’t even realize a male figure had made his way over to her.

“tequila, huh?” his voice was smooth, unexpected, and it instantly pulled her attention to the right. there he was, leaning casually against the counter, his posture relaxed but commanding. the soft golden light from the kitchen highlighted his sharp features, a warm glow casting over his slightly tousled hair and the inviting grin that played on his lips. 

she blinked, momentarily thrown off by his presence. there was something boyish about him, yet his looks contrasted the calculated composure in his eyes. once she realized her staring, she quickly recovered, her lips curving into a teasing smile unsure of where such confidence came from.“depends who you ask.”

he chuckled, the sound low and light, yet somehow warm despite its brevity. “true. i guess it depends on the night, too,” he mused, his eyes casually following her movements—curious, but not intrusive. his gaze lingered on the tequila bottles, gesturing to it. “bold choice, though,” he added, his tone easy and confident. “i guess it suits you.”

y/n tilted her head slightly, looking at the bottle she’d unknowingly chosen. her lips curved into a small smile, intrigued by his words. “what makes you think that?”

he shrugged with effortless charm, his laugh hypnotizing, like the world stopped with each chuckle that escaped his lips. and she was almost sure it did. “you’ve got this energy—like you’re fun, but there’s more to you than what meets the eye.” her eyebrows furrowed faintly in intrigue, but she kept her tone playful, tinged with a hint of caution. just because he seemed funny, and attractiveㅡ well, insanely attractive, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep her guard up; he was still a stranger. but his words seemed to draw her in nonetheless.

“you’ve got a lot of assumptions for someone i just met.”

“maybe,” he said with a slight shrug, “but i’m usually right.” he extended a hand toward her, his grin widening. “i’m eric, by the way. figured this was a good time to properly introduce myself since i’ve seen you around but never got the chance.”

she glanced at his hand before shaking it, his palm warm and his touch firm. “y/n,” she said simply, letting her name hang in the air for a moment. he shook her hand, slow and drawn out, before he reluctantly pulled away. it didn’t go unnoticed. he repeated it as if trying it out for himself, the syllables making themselves at home on his tongue. his grin softened into something more genuine. “that’s a pretty name. suits you.”

a faint warmth crept throughout her body at the compliment, but she quickly masked it with a smile, biting her lip as she tried to ignore the heat making its way to her cheeks. “thanks. so, you’re just out here handing out compliments tonight, huh?”

“only when they’re deserved,” he shot back smoothly, his gaze unwavering. there was something so captivating about him. his personality, maybe even ego, seemed big, but his confidence wasn’t overbearing. it was enticing and y/n found herself relaxing more, her initial purpose for coming to the kitchen already slipping her mind. “so, do you always pick tequila at parties, or is tonight special?” he raised an eyebrow slightly.

“tonight’s definitely special,” she replied, leaning against the counter herself now, mirroring his relaxed stance. the corners of her lips tugged upward, her drunken state aiding in loosening her posture. “but i’ll admit, it’s not my usual go-to.”

her words made him grin, his expression lighting up as if he’d just found the perfect opening to extend their conversation. his face seemed to soften slightly, and for a moment, y/n couldn’t help but envy how his confidence radiated. he knew how attractive he was, and knew exactly how to lean into it without making it feel forced.

“lucky for you, i’m a tequila enthusiast,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, already reaching for the bottle and two shot glasses. his movements were sure, natural, as if he’d done this a hundred times before. everything about this man highlighted how sure of himself he was, like he knew the line between charm and arrogance and danced on it perfectly. “mind if i join you?”

y/n let out a small laugh, her gaze following his every movement as he poured the tequila. there was something mesmerizing about the way his hands worked—the smooth, controlled motions, his fingers brushing over the counter as if every little touch was intentional, effortless. the lighting of the room seemed to accentuate the sensuality of the moment; it made the air feel charged. everything about him, from the casual lean to the way his eyes stayed locked on hers, felt like a slow dance, a tension hummed between them.

“you know what? sure, why not?” she finally managed to say, her voice a little breathless, though she couldn’t quite tell if it was from the alcohol or the way the scene had shifted. eric slid a glass toward her, his fingers grazing the edge of the counter, his movements slow as if savoring the moment. he leaned in just enough to hold her gaze, his eyes glinting with a playful spark, and she felt her heart race a little. raising his glass, his smirk widened. “to… letting loose and making the most of tonight?”

y/n’s lips parted in a smile that felt so easy, so unguarded, like it was the most natural thing in the world to let go and enjoy the moment. all her worries of the night seemed to slip her mind as she tapped her glass against his, the muted background becoming more apparent making the brief clink of glass feel louder than it should have. “cheers to that.”

they downed the shots in unison, the tequila burning a familiar path down her throat before settling into a warm heat in her chest. she grabbed a slice of lime as a needed chaser, squeezing the sour juices into her mouth. now, the buzz she’d felt earlier amplified, wrapping around her like a comforting haze. she could feel herself relax further as eric leaned in closer to keep the conversation flowing. their eyes meet again and an unfamiliar, yet alluring feeling crept up. he was so captivating. one look from him felt like transcending.

“so, what about you?” she asked, setting her glass down with a soft clink against the counter. she was becoming more curious about him. every second, imagining his life story, his reasons for coming, who he came with, she wanted to know everything. her tone carried a teasing edge as she raised an eyebrow. “are you the life of the party or just here to keep an eye on the tequila?”

he chuckled, his shoulders shaking slightly as if her words had struck the right note. there was something disarming about the way he laughed, and y/n couldn’t help but feel a small surge of accomplishment, her desire to keep conversing growing. “somewhere in between,” he admitted, his smile widening, the confidence in his voice undeniable. “but tonight, i think i’m here for more interesting conversations.”

the subtle compliment tugged at y/n, piquing her newfound confidence and before she knew it, she was leaning in just a little more, drawn into the rhythm of his words. she’d forgotten how much fun it was to flirt, how desirable she was over the years. none of this was one sided. “well, lucky you ran into me, then.”

“lucky, indeed,” eric replied, his voice dropping just enough to carry weight, and his gaze shifted to hers with intensity, the moment stretching out longer than expected. her breath hitched. it felt like time slowed down for just a second before she regained her composure. before she could fully process the warmth creeping up her spine from eric’s gaze, a shift in the atmosphere almost caught her attention. across the kitchen, jay walked in, his empty beer bottle dangling carelessly from his fingers, searching for somewhere to dispose of the glass. his expression was relaxed at first, but the moment his eyes locked onto her frame, he froze.

y/n didn’t notice him immediately either. her back was turned to him and she was much too absorbed in her conversation with eric. but jay was peeping everything. the way she laughed, the way she leaned just slightly toward eric, and most notably, that dress. it wasn’t just any dress. it was his favorite, the one she had only worn on special occasions, none of which ever saw light beyond the bedroom.

a knot twisted in jay’s chest, and his mind spun with a rush of emotions—anger, jealousy, and regret. he couldn’t pinpoint which hurt more, but they all clawed at him. was she just here for sex? and was she wearing that to enhance her attraction? he was convinced the second he heard the sound of her laughter, consumed by whatever sweet little nothings eric was telling her as she leaned in toward him. it stung. he hated how much power she still had over him, how she could still hurt him so deeply without even realizing.

eric, perceptive as ever, immediately caught the shift in the air. when his eyes flicked over jay and back to y/n, his grin widened ever so slightly. without missing a beat, he poured another shot, his movements casual yet carrying a certain smugness as he slid the glass toward y/n. “ready for another?” he asked lightly, though his gaze hardly wavered from jay.

“absolutely,” she replied with a laugh, oblivious to the silent exchange happening right in front of her. she was too intoxicated, both from the liquor and eric’s attention—to feel the tension brewing. the scene unfolding in front of her went unnoticed. eric, with his charm, was asserting his dominance over jay in a way that was bold, yet subtle enough to fly under y/n’s radar.

eric poured his own shot with an almost lazy confidence, his movements smooth and conceited as though every action was meant to say, i’ve already won. raising and clinking his glass with y/n’s, his lips curved into a subtle smirk as he downed the drink. while she threw her head back to get the shot out the way, his eyes were locked onto jay’s. the air in the kitchen thickened, growing heavier with the unspoken tension that hung between the two men. jay’s jaw tightened, his fingers curling firmly around the neck of his bottle as he forced himself to relax. but his pride just wouldn’t let it go. he needed to act, to remind this guy—this nobody, who y/n truly belonged to.

his steps were calculated as he moved further into the kitchen, making it seem as if he hadn’t noticed them at all. his presence, though originally unacknowledged, was impossible to ignore. without sparing so much as a glance their way, jay reached for a bottle on the counter, his movements nonchalant and composed.

“hey, eric, pass me the bottle opener,” he said, his tone calm, detached, as if the moment held no significance. but the sound of his voice was enough to pierce through y/n’s bubble of drunken bliss. her laughter faltered, the warmth that had fueled her moments before were replaced by a quick, relentless, almost sinking ache. eric, with his focus now shifted to jay with a scowl, straightened up as he titled his head. they were now challenging each other in front of their pursuit.

“it’s right there, get it yourself,” eric made no effort to mask the irritation the boy’s presence brought him. y/n turned slowly, her heart lurching at the sight of jay. what the fuck was he even doing? did she even actually like eric? the thoughts ran through her mind, quick and unforgiving. as her gaze remained on jay, everything else faded into the background. eric’s presence, his charm, the tequila-fueled buzz— all evaporated. jay’s movements were precise, impersonal. though he stood just a few feet away, his eyes never met hers. it was as though she didn’t even exist to him, a realization that stung more than she’d anticipated.

with a swift motion, he grabbed the opener, popped the cap off the beer, and set it back on the counter. without another word or glance, he turned on his heel, a smug scoff leaving his lips as he disappeared into the crowd. his shoulders were tense, and his strides were agonizingly slow. y/n watched him leave, her heart sinking further with each step he took. her fingers curled against the countertop as she let out a sigh, gripping it tightly as she struggled to steady herself, her knuckles paling from the effort.

“you okay?” eric’s voice softened, his earlier confidence giving way to a tentative concern. his hand brushed her shoulder lightly, but the touch barely registered. all her thoughts, all her feelings, were consumed once again by jay, and the space he left behind. eric felt like a distant blur in comparison.

“yeah,” y/n replied quickly, though her voice was tight, almost robotic now. she forced a smile, but it was weak. she averted her eyes, unsure of where to look anymore. she was too ashamed to be present in the moment now. “it’s whatever. i don’t even know that guy anymore.” the words were meant to sound indifferent, maybe even lighthearted, but her tone betrayed her, emotions seeping through. 

eric hesitated, his eyes studying her face. he could see the way her confidence had crumbled the moment jay walked up and felt a pang of guilt knowing he’d inadvertently caused it. but an unfamiliar feeling sparked within him as well. he wanted to make her forget about jay entirely, to erase whatever hold he still had on her. what had started off as an obvious attempt at a one-night stand, had suddenly turned into something more. eric wanted to be the one she thought about, the one she wanted, the one who could make her feel again.

y/n leaned against the counter, her glass clutched tightly in her hand, staring at the floor like it could offer her some kind of escape. it was quiet as the pair decided not to say anything. she didn’t mind it though. the weight of jay’s acknowledgment—or lack thereof— was still hanging over her like a storm cloud. and in her drunken state, she didn’t know how to process what she was feeling now. chaewon and yujin‘s comfort was rooms away, which she supposed was for the better. she didn’t want to bring their mood down with hers anyway. the dull thud of bass from the next room gave her a headache, and the warmth of the kitchen suddenly felt stifling.

she poured another shot and quickly downed it, sucking in a deep breath as the warmth shot throughout her body. her mind replayed the earlier scene on a loop—his voice, the dismissive tone, the way his eyes never bothered to look her way. a desperate part of her had hoped for more, craving at least some shred of emotion from him. instead, all she’d gotten was proof of how much she still cared, and how little he did. she bit the inside of her cheek to keep her tears at bay, her pride refusing to let them fall.

“hey.” y/n’s head snapped up, startled by the soft voice that cut through her thought process, reminding her she was still at the party. eric now stood a few feet away, his hands shoved into his pockets, a relaxed posture with a steady gaze. he tilted his head slightly, offering her a small smile in an attempt to ease her mind. “wanna just get out of here for a bit?”

for a moment she just stared at him, her brain debating on his offer. the idea of leaving the kitchen, and the weight of jay’s presence hanging over her, felt like relief. but going somewhere with ericㅡ a near-stranger? she wasn’t sure. her grip on her drink loosened slightly, her nails no longer digging into the condensation-soaked glass. “where would we even go?” her voice came out quieter than she intended.

“don’t know,” he shrugged, now leaning against the doorframe. “anywhere but here. upstairs, outside… we could raid his snacks,  whatever helps.” his tone was casual, but there was something in the way he watched her that felt intentional. he sensed the remaining turmoil in her heart and wanted to pull her away from it.

y/n glanced at the doorway he motioned to, then back to her drink. the thought of staying here, rooted to this spot, after jay’s appearance felt unbearable. so, without answering, she set her cup on the counter with a soft clink and gave him a small nod. eric’s smile widened just slightly, enough to make her cheeks flush again. “come on,” he murmured, motioning for her to follow him.

he led her to a quiet balcony on the second floor of the house, away from the pulsing music and swarm of people. the cool night air hit her face, and she zipped her jacket as she wrapped her arms around herself. she was thankful for the moment of calm that wasted no time washing over her. eric handed her an unopened bottle of patron that he’d snagged on their way up, giving her a reassuring smile.

“for the record,” he said, leaning against the railing, his tone measured, almost casual, “whatever he did to you? screw him.” his eyes stayed fixed on the city lights below, the ambient hum of distant car horns and the occasional gust of wind filling the silence. he didn’t look at her, as if giving her the privacy to feel whatever she needed to without his gaze adding weight.

y/n let out a weak laugh, but it cracked halfway through, dissolving into a shaky exhale. leaning on the railing herself, her eyes wandered to the darkened yard below, its emptiness mirroring the void she felt in her heart. her voice wavered when she spoke. “it’s not that simple.”

“maybe not,” eric shrugged, the softness in his voice tugging at her like a thread, unraveling the tight knot she’d been holding together. “but he doesn’t get to ruin your night.” he turned slightly toward her, his expression thoughtful, though his gaze never pressed into hers too directly. her throat tightened, and before she could stop herself, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, blurring the faint glow of the city. she swallowed hard, shaking her head as if to ward them away. turning from him, she choked out a laugh, “god, i’m sorry. this is so stupid.”

“it’s not stupid,” he said with quiet conviction. he didn’t step closer, deciding it was best to keep respecting the fragile space between them, but there was something solid and grounding in his presence nonetheless. “you’re allowed to feel how you want to feel, y/n. no one gets to decide that for you.”

her fingers hastily brushed at her cheeks,trying to swipe away the evidence of her emotions as shame crept in. traces of her makeup found refuge on her jacket in the process. she was sure she looked as much of a mess physically as she felt mentally. his words lingered, and she appreciated him not demanding a response, just offering a truth she hadn’t yet been able to admit to herself. “i don’t even know why i’m crying. it’s just… all i wanted was to be able to forget about him for one night.” her words hung in the air as she tightly crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to hold herself together. saying it out loud made the hurt feel all the more real, the pressure pressing harder against her ribs.

“getting over someone takes time,” eric said, his voice steady and thoughtful, as though he’d carefully considered every word. his eyes flickered toward her briefly, searching for a reaction before continuing. “especially someone who meant a lot to you. i heard you guys were together for a couple of years; i don’t think anyone expects you to bounce back quickly. and just because you’re not there yet doesn’t mean you won’t get there.” his words settled over her, profound, like the softest form of reassurance she had been needing. y/n felt her shoulders relax and she finally exhaled, her breath fogging in the chilly night air. the weight of her emotions felt a little lighter now. eric held up the unopened bottle between them, his grin softening the mood further.

“how about this? one drink, and we’ll make a pact: no more thinking about jay tonight.”

her lips twitched into a small, reluctant smile as she reached for the bottle, the faintest trace of amusement breaking through the fading sadness. when in doubt, drink it out. “deal.” the bottle moved back and forth between them as the conversation flowed, each sip peeling away the mysterious layers between the two. eric had a way of drawing her out. his humor was witty, his stories were full of vivid details that made her forget the remaining ache in her chest, little by little. she felt like she could breathe again.

the two talked about everything and nothing: bad movies, dream vacations, even the weirdest things they’d done as kids. eric was so easy to talk to. in a way that felt natural, his teasing was playful but never too much, and his laughter warm and infectious. with every story exchanged, y/n found herself leaning further into the conversation.

at some point, the conversation slowed, the hum of the city below filling the quiet. y/n’s gaze drifted to eric, who sat just close enough that she could feel the warmth of his presence. the soft glow of the house lights framed his features—his sharp jawline, the slight curve of his lips, and the depth in his eyes that seemed to catch everything without needing to say much. she had noticed before how effortlessly handsome he was, but in the stillness, she could see it in all its glory because now he wasn’t even trying.

“what?” he asked, his voice breaking through her thoughts, low and teasing but not unkind. he kept his eyes on her, a gleam shimmering ever so slightly. she blinked, her cheeks heating as she fought hard not to look away.

“nothing.”

eric tilted his head, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. “you were staring. i’m not complaining, just… curious.”

y/n’s heart stuttered, her defenses unraveling under his playful yet gentle tone. she dropped her gaze to the bottle between them, her fingers brushing against the cool glass. “i wasn’t staring,” she mumbled, though the blush deepening on her cheeks betrayed her. he leaned in slightly, not enough to overwhelm but just enough to close the gap, his voice quieter now. 

“sure you weren’t.” their proximity was close enough to feel his breath warm on her nose. a closeness that felt almost forbidden. it felt good. there was something in the way he looked at her, prolonged and intent, as if he could see past what she was trying to hide. it made her stomach flip, her mind race. the space between them felt charged, the kind of silence that wasn’t empty but filled with things neither of them knew how to say.

she tried to focus on the city lights, the buzz of music from the party beneath themㅡ anything but him… but her gaze betrayed her again. when she looked back up, he was still watching her, his expression shifting into something unreadable.

“you know, you’re�� different than i expected,” he said finally, his voice soft, almost hesitant. he was peeling back a layer of himself that he didn’t often share.

y/n’s brows furrowed slightly, her mind catching the weight of his words. curiously, she leaned closer despite the space being noses apart as a result. “different how?” she asked, her voice quieter now in fear of the moment shattering if she spoke any louder.

“in a good way,” he replied, the corners of his lips lifting in a slight smile that was both shy and sincere. the energy picked up, dissipating from its once lustful state into something new, softer and more vulnerable. “like… i don’t know. just better.”

the simplicity of his words struck her harder than she expected. there weren’t any grand gestures or overly thought-out declarations with them, yet somehow, it made them feel all the more genuine. she didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. instead, she just looked at him, her lips parting slightly as if the unfolding moment had stolen the air from her lungs. the outside noises of the world faded into nothing, narrowing to just the quiet breaths they shared on that balcony.

time seemed to slow as the remaining space between them shrank. his gaze dropped, flickering to her lips for the briefest moment before meeting her eyes again, a silent question lingering in the space between them. she felt renewed, her heart was racing as her mind scrambled to make sense of it. but there was no time to think, no time to overanalyze; her body moved before she could stop it.

her lips met his, softly at first, testing the waters. there was hesitation on both ends, a mutual uncertainty. then the kiss deepened, the weight of the night pouring into every movement. she leaned in closer, her hands finding their way to his shirt, gripping it tightly as if afraid he might pull away. his fingers ghosted over her jaw, anchoring her in the moment, grounding her as the rest of the world seemed to spin. it wasn’t perfect, it was messy and uncoordinated, a clash of emotions and impulse—but it felt real, raw in a way that made her melt into his touch. and for the first time in what felt like forever, she let herself be vulnerable. she let herself feel.

but just as quickly as it started, the kiss ended as reality crashed back in. y/n pulled back abruptly, her hands flying to her stomach as a sudden wave of nausea hit hard, quickly climbing its way up from her stomach. “oh no…” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper as she almost teleported to the other side of the balcony. there was no way. eric’s eyes widened, concern flashing across his face as he instinctively moved to reach out toward her. “you okay?” he asked, moving his hands back after seeing her lack of response to the gesture. she shook her head, the motion only making her feel worse. 

“i think i’m gonna—” she realized she pushed herself to her feet too quickly, her delayed reaction to the sudden movement sent her balance teetering. eric was beside her in an instant, steadying her with a hand on her arm as she stumbled toward the railing.

“whoa, whoa—hold on,” he said, his voice calm but urgent. “deep breaths, okay? i got you.”

y/n clung to the cool metal railing, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to steady her breathing. the nausea roared louder, her stomach churning violently. she hated how vulnerable she felt, she hated that she couldn’t keep it together.

“i’m so sorry,” she whispered shakily, leaning forward in case the inevitable happened. her whole body was in panic mode, trying to ground itself but every attempt it made only escalated the situation. the only thing saving her from completely coming undone was her pride. she refused to embarrass herself in front of the handsome man that kept her company.

“don’t apologize,” eric said softly, his hand still resting on her arm. the touch was enough to distract her as her senses focused on the warmth it offered. “seriously, it’s fine. just focus on breathing. we’ll get through this.” her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but there was no judgment in his voice, no awkwardness, just comfort laced with concern. he was drunk too, anxiety building at how the situation could possibly unfold. y/n clung to the railing as the nausea finally overwhelmed her. the world around her blurred, and every sound muffled like she was underwater. her knees buckled slightly, and eric was quick to catch her as she vomited over the balcony, quietly thanking god that nobody was in the backyard.

 “yeah,” he said, his voice gentle but firm. “i think you’re done for the night.” she tried to mumble a response, but her words came out slurred and incoherent. her body felt heavy, the buzz of alcohol overpowering every sense as she vomited again. now she was sobbing curses keeping her eyes squeezed tight, as if it could block out the predicament she was in now. eric had to think fast, he couldn’t just leave her out here. but he also cared for her reputation, and taking someoneㅡ in her state, back with the majority was just begging to be social suicide. 

“okay, hang tight,” eric said, carefully easing her down to sit on the floor of the balcony, leaning her against the railing for support. she was barely responsive, her eyelids fluttering as exhaustion took over. he wanted to bring her inside the room, but if she kept going at the rate that she was, laying down would be a safety hazard. he hated it, but the best option would be to leave her outside. he sucked in a breath, crouching in front of her, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. “i’m gonna find your friends, okay? just stay right here.”

y/n’s head lolled slightly. he made his way back into the main, more populated areas of the house, scanning the crowd for any sign of the two girls she’d been with earlier. it took a few minutes and some questions to a few strangers, but eventually, eric found chaewon and yujin near the living room, both mid-conversation with a group of people. “hey, uh,” eric interrupted, his tone urgent enough to grab their attention immediately. “y/n’s on the balcony. she’s not feeling great. i think she needs you.”

chaewon’s eyes widened as her head snapped towards yujin, they had forgotten about y/n in their inebriated state. they actually learned of the kitchen situation shortly after it happened because jay had come by and interrupted their conversation with jake to vent about it. they only let her be after hearing of her moment with eric because a distraction was what they were originally hoping for. they didn’t take into account it could go left. “what the hell is she doing out there? is she okay?”

“she’s like… out of it,” eric said, his hands still in his pockets but his shoulders tense as they picked up the words he wasn’t dropping: a few too many drinks, half of which her body weight couldn’t hold. “she needs to go home.” yujin didn’t hesitate, grabbing chaewon’s arm as they followed eric back to the balcony. chaewon couldn’t help but cry the whole way up.

“fuck, we might just be the worst friends alive,” she sobbed, her feet scurrying to keep up with the other two as each sob slowed her down. yujin, sensing the need for a level headed person in the room, pinched chaewon’s cheeks once they reached the bedroom leading to the balcony. “we can unpack that later. she needs us now. so suck it up cause we have to act like we know what we’re doing.” her words leave no word for arguments, so chaewon just nods putting on her best poker face despite the regret that still panged at her heart.

when they opened the door to finally arrive on the scene, y/n was no longer slumped against the railing. she was laying on her side curled into a ball, eyes closed as she emphasized each breath she let out to calm her nerves. “oh my god, y/n,” chaewon muttered, kneeling beside her. the girl only croaked her name in response, a pout eliciting a downpour of tears. she felt a sense of relief washing over her at their presence. yujin crouched down as she and chaewon lifted her body up, y/n doing her best to push herself up with her arms. “what made this happen?”

“it’s kind of my fault. jay upset her while we were taking shots. it bummed her out, so we came up here to recharge… drank a whole bottle of patron,” eric trailed off as he recollected their actions leading up to it, the impulsivity being highlighted as a disaster waiting to happen. rubbing the back of his neck, he cleared his throat. “yeah, so it’s totally my fault.” chaewon and yujin wasted zero time verbally agreeing with him. he didn’t take it personally, thoughㅡ in hindsight, he could’ve approached the situation better. “sorry, i wasn’t really thinking. i just wanted to make her feel better.”

“well, thank you,” yujin said, her voice sincere as she looked at him. chaewon and yujin carefully helped y/n to her feet, draping her arms over their shoulders. eric lingered for a moment, his gaze softening as he looked at her one last time. she looked an absolute mess. her mascara ran in uneven streaks tracing her cheeks, while smudges of foundation, blush,and faded lipstick clung desperately to her skin. he felt horrible for how bad her night turned out. “she’s gonna be okay, right?” he asked, his voice a tinge quieter now.

“yeah,” chaewon said, tight-lipped with a small nod. “we got it from here, thanks for looking out for her.” eric nodded, stepping back as they carried y/n away. he stood there for a moment, watching until they disappeared into the house. with a deep breath, he turned back toward the balcony railing, running a hand through his hair as he tried to shake off the lingering worry. what a shitty first impression to leave. he almost wished that they had saved some alcohol, he needed another shot.

in the backseat of the taxi, y/n slumped against chaewon, her head heavy with a mouth that insisted on being anything but quiet. “i wanted to stay with him,” she mumbled, her words slurring together. her voice hiccuped slightly, carrying the unmistakable edge of drunken frustration. she replayed fragmented memories of their time together from the kitchen to the balcony. “why’d you make me leave? he was—he was so damn nice to me. oh my god, he was so sweet y’all. and he was so cute.”

chaewon yawned with a sigh, exhausted and clearly drunk, but trying her best to be a comforting friend, rubbing y/n’s arm. “yeah, yeah, i’m sure he was cool. but we had to leave, y/n. you could barely stand.”

“you were blackout drunk,” yujin chimed in from the passenger seat, twisting around to face them, her own cheeks flushed from the night’s drinks. “like, not just tipsy. you were gone, babe. eric literally told us to get you home.”

but y/n wasn’t having it. she sat up abruptly, her movements wobbly as she gestured with exaggerated fervor. “i liked him, though! he was—such a sweetheart. like, he said all this nice stuff. and we—” she paused, her drunken mind struggling to piece things together. rubbing her thighs together, her mind went straight to the kiss they shared. knowing chaewon and yujin, they wouldn’t let her hear the end of it if she dropped that kind of info. so, she opted to stop herself, quickly changing the subject. a little secret never hurt anybody.

“he was—he was talking to me, and then you guys just pulled me away.” images of how she interpreted the situation plagued her mind, as if they were plotting against her to keep her from her prince charming. “it wasn’t fair… what if i never see him again?” she slumped back dramatically, her head falling against the window with a loud thud but she wasn’t even phased by the pain. “this is so unfair.”

chaewon’s expression softened, her teasing edge melting away as she gave y/n’s arm a gentle squeeze. her voice was quieter now, reassuring, like she was trying to ground her moody friend. “you know you can keep talking to him, right? it’s not like you’ll never see him again.”

“how?” y/n exclaimed, throwing her hands up dramatically. her voice carried the same exasperation as a frustrated child, her bottom lip already jutting out in a pout. it seemed impossible, like meeting him was a once in a lifetime chance she’d fumbled.

“i don’t know, romeo,” yujin quipped, glancing back at her. “you got his number, didn’t you?” there was a glint of amusement in her tone, and it took everything not to laugh at y/n’s growing dramatics.

y/n blinked, suddenly caught off guard. “damn it,” she groaned, flopping back against the seat as the realization hit her. “i didn’t even think about that!” her voice rose in pitch as her frustration bubbled over. with another groan, she slumped forward again. “how am i supposed to find him now?”

yujin shook her head, her own buzz making her grin widen as she scrolled through her phone. “hold on,” she mumbled, squinting at the screen as she scrolled past posts and messages. “i think we follow him on instagram. chaewon and me, at least.”

“you’re kidding,” y/n said, her tone filled with disbelief as her wide eyes snapped to yujin. she was almost jealous, she wanted him to follow her too. well, maybe more than a follow. she had a list of things she now wanted from the boy, few of them being internet bound. 

“mmm, nope. see? it’s right here,” yujin turned her phone toward y/n, showing her eric’s page. it wasn’t much from what she could see. just a regular layout, posting at normal locations yet somehow making the mundane parts of life look vibrant. so dreamy.“i’ll send you his profile.”

for a moment, the drunken haze clouding y/n’s mind seemed to part, and a flicker of hope broke through her frustration. her face softened, and she looked at her friends with a mixture of gratitude and awe. “you’d really give it to me?” her voice was quieter now, almost shy, but the happiness behind her words was hard to miss.

“of course,” yujin said with a shrug, her fingers already flying across the screen to send his profile link. her tone was casual as her eyes flicked to y/n. “but, like, maybe don’t embarrass yourself, okay? just be chill.” she raised an eyebrow, her gaze flickering between concern and amusement. “if you’re even capable of that right now.”

chaewon snorted beside her, the sound sharp and short, like she’d tried to suppress it but failed miserably. the corners of her lips twitched upward as she pressed her knuckles against her mouth, shaking her head at the scene unfolding before her.

“hey,” y/n shot back, the sound more of a whine than a true protest. her pout returned in full force as she crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child. “i am capable of being chill.” but the way her words were slurred slightly at the edges and so over-exaggerated, made her claim hilariously unconvincing. her friends didn’t need to say anything, her actions spoke loud enough.

“sure you are,” chaewon said, laughter bubbling up from deep in her chest as she leaned back into the seat, shaking her head. the way she said it seemed to playfully poke even more holes in y/n’s already shaking defense. her amusement was contagious, setting off yujin, who burst into laughter that echoed through the car. “there, it’s sent,” yujin said between giggles, her cheeks beginning to ache from smiling as the notification lit up the screen. 

she waved it at y/n who then grabbed her phone and stared down at the notification, her lips twitching as her pout faltered. even though she tried to hold on to her dramatic indignation, the warmth of her friends’ laughter was pulling her out of her sulk. she wasted no time exploring his public profile, staring down at it like it held all the answer to life’s mysteries. a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

as the taxi rolled to a stop in front of y/n’s apartment, her eyes stayed glued to one of eric’s posts. the glow of the screen illuminated her face as she scrolled through his pictures, lingering on one in particular—a candid shot of him laughing, his head tilted back and his smile wide. “he’s cute, right?” she slurred, her voice tinged with both awe and disbelief as she held the phone up for chaewon and yujin to see. “yeah, real cute,” yujin replied without even looking, her tone dismissive as she hooked her arm under y/n’s to help her out of the taxi. chaewon grabbed y/n’s other arm, the two of them exchanging knowing glances over her head.

“now come on,” yujin added, her voice straining as y/n leaned heavily on her. “let’s get you inside before you pass out in the hallway.”

“i’m not gonna pass out,” y/n protested, though her sluggish movements and the way she was tripping over her own feet, told an entirely different story. her attention drifted back to her phone. “he’s so cute,” she declared dreamily, clicking on another one of eric’s posts. she zoomed in on his face scrutinizing every detail like she was solving a puzzle.

her knees buckled slightly as she let out a squeal that blended into a wistful sigh, her head tipping back dramatically. the sudden motion nearly sent all three of them tumbling to the ground. “y/n, focus!” chaewon scolded, groaning as she tightened her grip to keep her upright. together, they stumbled through the front door, chaewon’s voice laced with equal parts exasperation and amusement.

“i am focused!” y/n shot back, though the way she swayed suggested otherwise. with a flourish, she exited out of the post and opened eric’s dms, her fingers flying across the screen. “i’m texting him right now,” she announced proudly, her voice brimming with determination.

“just don’t say anything stupid,” yujin laughed, typing in the apartment code and holding the door open for them. her tone held a faint edge of concern as she glanced over at y/n, whose fingers kept typing away. y/n, entirely oblivious to her surroundings, was deep in concentration, her thumbs working faster than her intoxicated brain could keep up. she hit send on one message, then another, a giddy smile spreading across her face as the chat filled with her messages. “he hasn’t seen them yet,” she mumbled, almost like a child waiting for a toy to arrive.

chaewon and yujin exchanged a look, their laughter bubbling up again as they guided her toward her room to toss her on the bed, watching as she remained entirely consumed by her mission. “you’re a mess,” chaewon teased, shaking her head, though there was no mistaking the fondness in her voice.  after ridding themselves of their shoes, the three girls were quick to undo the chaos of the night. yujin wiped away her smudged eyeliner with one of y/n’s makeup wipes, while chaewon rummaged through a pile of clothes, discarding her dress before tossing a baggy hoodie on.

y/n, still buzzing from both the alcohol and her excitement, sat cross-legged on the bed, clutching her phone. amidst the silent ruffling of materials as the girls were focused on their respective activities, her phone buzzed. the room was momentarily filled with a high-pitched squeal as she threw her head back dramatically. “he replied!”

“oh my god, already?” yujin asked, peering over y/n’s shoulder.

“what’d he say?” chaewon added, leaning in, her curiosity piqued.

but y/n didn’t answer, her face going slack as she hunched over her phone, completely absorbed in whatever eric had sent. the other two exchanged glances before shrugging, quietly finishing up their nighttime routines while y/n sat frozen, eyes reading each thing he sent. suddenly, she let out a gasp, breaking her silence once again. “he gave me his number!” she screamed, clutching her phone to her chest like it was a prized possession.

chaewon raised an eyebrow. “well, are you gonna call him?”

y/n shot her a look that screamed duh, her fingers making quick to save his number. without hesitating, she dialed it, ignoring the way her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest. “oh my god, you’re calling now?” yujin asked, half-laughing as she tossed herself onto the bed.

“shh!” y/n hissed, holding a finger up to quiet them. she brought the phone to her ear, biting her lip as the dial tone hummed in her ear. the sound seemed to stretch on forever, each ring louder than the last.

“what if he doesn’t pick up?” chaewon whispered, leaning closer to yujin with wide eyes.

yujin grinned. “then she’ll probably—”

“hello?”

his voice cut through the line, smooth and casual, yet undeniably familiar. y/n froze, her lips parting as the realization hit her. “uh—” she started, but her voice caught in her throat, her mind racing to find the right words. chaewon and yujin exchanged a glance, their amused smiles fading as they watched y/n’s expression shift into something softer, more vulnerable.

“hello?” he said again, a touch of curiosity creeping into his tone.

y/n exhaled slowly, closing her eyes as if bracing herself. “hey, eric,” she finally said, her voice quieter than she intended. muting, she turned to the girls. “i’ll be back.” and with that, she slipped out of the room, leaving her friends behind as the door clicked softly shut.

[daengtokki]

part nine // serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 14.9k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: monsters, murder, pregnancy, medication mention, dissociation, hospital scenes

SYNOPSIS: Seungmin floats through life alone, haunted by his memories—keeping himself under control, and quieting his mind the only way he knows how…killing and watching the life leave his victims eyes. When you cross his path on a morning hunt, something new (something forgotten) starts to move inside of him, leading both of you on a path to confront the unspeakable past.

comments: just wanna say hi to my new followers and new deity readers ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

[ ML — DEITY MASTERLIST AND TAGLIST]

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Seungmin opens his eyes to a bright blue sky, the tops of the pine trees, and an ache in his neck. There's the sound of birds singing, but otherwise; perfect, natural silence. It's nice for a moment, despite his pain, until the last several hours come flooding back to him, and his world crumbles all over again. He lets the tears fall freely down his cheeks as he struggles to sit up, and he wonders what he's going to do now that he's made it through the night.

All around him are tracks. Too many to count. There are so many circling him that he can't distinguish anything except the cloven hooves of a deer, so while he slept, he was visited by something other than the thing in the woods. "Why didn't you take me?" He asks in a shaky whisper. Nothing answers except the birds, but when he tries to stand, someone screams. An ear splitting, head splitting shriek brings him to his knees. “Stop! Stop!” Plugging his ears does nothing; it’s as if the sound is coming from inside of his head. “Please!” It stops suddenly. The scream doesn’t taper off or echo…it just stops, like it never even happened. When Seungmin looks around him, and despite being on his knees, head hanging low, he’s dizzy. All he wants to do is lay in the dirt and fall back asleep. He spreads his hands out in front of him, “what is that?” he asks himself, staring at his pale, goose-bump covered arms. He takes a closer look and sees the scratches; three of them on each limb, starting at his knuckles and not stopping until he gets to his elbows. They don’t hurt, and they’re not deep enough to bleed. “Did I do that?”

Seungmin’s ears start to ring, and the dizziness returns. He hears the footsteps behind him, and he’s only surprised by it being here now, in broad daylight. It had all night to come for him. The sound it makes is more terrifying than he ever imagined. He’s heard the growls, and the whispers, but never it speaking directly to him—Seungmin didn't even imagine it having a voice. It sounds like a strange attempt at his name, but how can he answer? How can he Ppossibly turn and face it?

“Who are you?” He doesn’t bother trying to hide his fear. Seungmin’s chest tightens, and his voice shakes. The smell of dirt and decay hits his nose. He has to hold back his urge to vomit as the stench gets stronger and stronger. “Please go away.”

you called for me

It’s inside of his head. He can feel it echoing through his brain.

face me

“I wanna go home”

you have no home

“Yes I do! I do have a home”

little stray, I’m all that’s left now…we are all that’s left

“I’m not alone, I’m not!” Seungmin thinks about his aunts, who he only met once when he was two. He doesn’t remember, of course, but umma talked about them sometimes. His father’s sisters. They must be like dad, even just a little. “Someone still wants me, right?”

don’t be silly

“No, they do!”

turn and face me, and I’ll consider letting you leave

Just one look. Besides, this is why he came out here in the first place—to be found by it, and to never face another day again. Seungmin rises to his feet and takes a few deeps breaths. He has to get it over with. He turns, and somehow, the smell becomes worse. It’s here…it’s really here. He’s seeing it with his own two eyes, ten feet away from him.

good boy

To Seungmin, it looks as if a piece of the forest came to life, started to rot, and this is the outcome. The smell matches the rest of it, and the cloven hooves match the tracks surrounding where he slept. A face like a bleached skull, and black pits where its eyes should be almost distract him from the red, shedding antlers. It doesn’t move. The creature stands motionless as it speaks from its nonexistent mouth. How could this not be real? Why would Seungmin’s mind create something so horrible just for him?

I won’t leave you alone

Seungmin doesn’t hesitate, and his legs don’t either. He runs until his chest burns, and his legs nearly give out…and then the bright reflection of the greenhouse comes into view. The grass is cool and damp against his skin; it’s a relief, but it’s still there, burned into his vision, and the smell still burns his nose.

“Somebody will want me”

“Well?”

Seungmin squints at the screen, looks at you, and then back to the strangely detailed image he’s seeing. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to see…them. That’s them.”

“Yes, the 3D ultrasound still surprises parents”

“Still a little creepy,” you mumble and widen your eyes at her.

The tech looks at you and nods, “they’ll be more like the babies you will hold in a month or so. They still need more time to gain weight.”

“They’re moving!” The images are jumpy, but every few seconds, there’s a slight change in position. Seungmin can’t take his eyes off of them.

“Twenty-two, almost twenty-three weeks is early for this scan, but they look healthy. And you have boys, one hundred percent certain.”

Seungmin laughs, and then pulls out his phone. “Do we get photos?”

You think he’s going to take his own, but he stops to read something instead. It’s Heecheol, judging by the little smirk on his face and the smile in his eyes. You wonder if they decided on a time to visit, and if Seungmin remembered to mention the pregnancy to him. There’s no hiding it anymore, and the spare room won’t be a spare room when he comes to stay. The nursery is painted (a color called mint chocolate chip that Seungmin picked out himself), partially decorated—though Seungmin had trouble choosing a theme. The twin bed is still there, and it’s comfortable. Much more comfortable than the couch.

“Yes, we’ll print some images for you”

***

A few moments ago he was sound asleep, but now you can feel his stare. Your eyes stay glued to your phone for a few more seconds—your mother is texting you for the second time since you’ve moved in with Seungmin, and you still haven’t told her much. Seungmin doesn’t exist in her world, and neither do Haneul and Haesung. In her mind, you’re still alone in your little apartment, working the job that pays you just enough to live and eat. You are still trying your best to learn Korean, but you haven’t been going to formal classes as often as you’d like, and not at all since you started showing.

Before any of that information comes out, you need to mentally prepare for a long phone call. And maybe her anger, for two reasons: depriving her of what will be her first grandchildren, and worst of all, not having grandchildren that look like her. But twenty-five weeks is well over halfway there, and part of you feels guilty about keeping things a secret. Now you move your eyes away from the screen, and his are there, just like you thought—big and round and dark. “What’s wrong, Minnie?” He blinks a few times, and his gaze drops away from you. “You were almost snoring a minute ago.”

“Was I?”

“Just a little bit…you’ve had a busy week”

“Who are you talking to?”

Him noticing and wondering isn’t a surprise, because you rarely text anyone but him, and one classmate who keeps asking when you’ll come to classes. You’ve considered texting her and maybe getting out of the house, but it hasn’t happened yet. It’s so much easier to stay home and keep up with your dramas, or lose yourself for a while in a video game with Seungmin. That’s a new favorite for you. “My mom.”

“Have you spoken to her much lately?”

“Nope. I have texted back and forth to my sister, just to let her know I was still alive…but mom never bothered to respond to anything until now.”

“Did you tell her?”

You shake your head as you read the next message that pops up.

I just don’t understand why you’re still there…you don’t have to be so far away from the only family and friends you have. You can come home anytime.

there’s more here for me than you’re aware of

okay, so tell me what’s so special about it there

“Not yet. I think that should be a phone call.”

“Do you think she’ll be unsupportive?”

“She’s always unsupportive.” The message thread disappears, and you pull up what you were looking at before she surprised you. “Do you like this?”

Seungmin takes your phone in hand and brings it closer to his face, but he still squints. “Snoopy! Snoopy in a bunny suit. He looks so soft…are there any other colors?”

“Mocha…and yellow. Everything else is sold out.”

“Get one of each”

“Maybe we forget about a theme, and just fill the nursery with cute things. You add them to your cart and click on more characters. “Pochacco?”

“Pochacco? Yeah, we can do more puppies.”

“Do you like Pochacco? I wasn’t expecting you to know your Sanrio characters.” Seungmin throws off the covers and heads for his closet. “Where you going?”

“I still have things you’ve never seen, I guess.” He opens the closet door and heads for the opposite corner of his photo boxes, and after a little bit of digging around, a few things come flying toward you: a small, soft Pochacco; Snoopy, floppy and worn out like Daengmo, and a small brown dog you don’t recognize. The last one comes a few moments later, and it’s the biggest one.

“Growlithe!”

“Umma got me a different puppy every year for my birthday. Daengmo was first, Snoopy was second.”

You can’t help but wonder which one came last, but you know better than to ask. “Puppies it is.”

Seungmin’s phone buzzes, and you see the text notification appear. You can’t read it, or the name—especially not upside down and from this distance, but as soon as he dives back into bed and scoops it up, you get an answer.

“Heecheol says he has the weekend off, Friday through Monday, but he can’t stay long. He has another nurse checking in on his umma while he’s away, though.”

“That’s good. Is he coming on Friday? That gives me some time to clean and get the room ready.”

“Friday morning, yes. The apartment is clean!”

“Not guest clean”

The voice of his aunt is stern and serious, but it doesn’t bother him. As much as she tries to make Seungmin listen, and he usually does, nothing quite compares to the steady, eerily calm voice of his late-stepfather. He stares down into the pocket of his glove as she speaks.

“Are you listening?”

“I’m listening”

“I’m not trying to sound so…”

“Mean?” Eun-ji, who looks almost identical to her sister, just thinner, answers for her. “Please remember what this boy has been through.”

She huffs, but nods in understanding. Four years with their mother and father was probably difficult enough, but it’s been barely four years since losing his mother. Now, he’s moving again. “I’m sure umma took good care of you, Seungmin, but she’s getting old, and just can’t keep up anymore.”

“She did…and I know. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“You have to care for me now, but I’ll try to be as helpful as possible. I won’t be a burden.”

They look at each other and smile. Seungmin doesn’t understand why. He wrings his hands together as they look to him again. “We know you’re a very well-behaved boy, and you get good marks in school. And you play baseball, right?”

He nods.

“You like to read?”

“Yes”

“Well, I understand the high school has a baseball team you can try out for next year, and we have a very large library. It’s just a quick bus ride into town. Oh, what’s the matter?”

Seungmin’s legs start to shake, but he doesn’t know why. His chest tightens, and his eyes well with tears. He can’t stop himself. “Uhm…I—“

“There’s no need for tears, you’re safe here with us.” Eun-ji reaches out and takes his hand in hers. “We’ll take good care of you…Minnie? Is that what your umma called you?”

Seungmin nods and wipes his face with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Sometimes.”

“Come over here and sit with us”

He walks on his unsteady legs and squeezes between them on the couch. They smell nice, and Eun-ji still squeezes his hand gently. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“If it helps you feel better, you should cry. If someone told you to be ashamed of your tears, you can just forget what they said.”

Can he? Seungmin isn’t sure he can do that. Crying is a sign of weakness—that’s what his stepfather told him, even when he saw his tear-streaked, dirt-covered face when umma found him and brought him home. Crying is for babies and little girls. Is that what you are? A baby? A baby sulking around with his little stuffed dog. He’s been gone for years, and he still won’t leave him alone. Just like the monster promised. Both of them swirl endlessly in his brain, and he just wants to make it stop.

“Here, let me clean your glasses…Ji-woo will show you your new bedroom, and we’ll get you unpacked”

Friday morning comes, and you sit at the kitchen counter, wondering how you could possibly find the energy to finish…anything. Your body and your mind has run on caffeine since you were fifteen, and now you’re afraid to drink more than a few sips of coffee. It’s not just the thought of feeling nauseous, but it’s doing anything to could cause harm to them. You know in your brain that caffeine, a little bit, won’t hurt, but you still feel like you need to be perfect to keep them healthy.

“I’ll be back. His bus should be getting here soon…are you okay?”

“Bus? Oh, that must have been uncomfortable for him. I’ll finish getting his room ready.”

“Are you okay? You look sad.”

“Sad? No, Minnie, I’m not sad. I was just…thinking about coffee.”

Seungmin laughs, “coffee? You must really miss it. I can grab some decaf while I’m out. Maybe that will help the craving.” He brings you in for a kiss. “Stay off your feet. I’ll finish getting things ready when we get back.”

You listen, and as soon as he closes the door behind him, you grab your pillow, and Daengmo, and make yourself comfortable on the couch. Seungmin will be an hour at the very least, so you set an alarm just in case you doze off.

***

Any other day, the traffic wouldn’t be worth the fight, but Seungmin doesn’t want Heecheol on a city bus after a long bus ride. He drives the four miles there, and a half an hour later, he’s starting to feel nervous for no reason. The busy station does make him uneasy—he’s rarely around this many people at once. And he never has a reason to be here, so he’s unfamiliar with the layout. Eventually, after asking for directions twice, he figures out where he needs to be, and he waits. No text messages come through telling him he’s almost there, or that he’s arrived, but the trains are usually on time. He should be arriving in two minutes, according to the big clock above the schedule.

“Mo!”

Seungmin jumps and turns to face his friend’s big smile. “You’re early.” Heecheol gives him no time to react before he pulls him in for a hug. It’s a strange feeling. He’s grown used to holding you, and having your arms around him as he falls asleep, but this is different. Heecheol is taller; he’s strong, and Seungmin feels small in his embrace.

“Sorry it took…two months?”

“Two and a half.” But what is that compared to fifteen years?

He pulls away, but his hands fall to Seungmin’s shoulder. “It was hard picturing you grown up, even as I looked in the mirror and saw myself getting older. I kept thinking about that when you two left.”

Seungmin isn’t sure what to say, but he returns the smile. He doesn’t know how to tell Heecheol that his mind was lost for a very long time, and he didn’t think about him nearly as much as he should have—at least not until ten weeks ago. It never occurred to him that he was still being thought about as he struggled through his school years, just from very far away.

“But we should get out of here, it’s getting even busier”

“Right, I’m parked not far from the entrance…I just,” he stops. Seungmin had more than enough chances to tell him, but he kept putting it off. “I have to stop for some coffee before we head back.”

“I haven’t been to Seoul since I flew home last year. City life is already lost on me, even after Charlotte. But that doesn’t compare to this.”

“It’s smaller there?”

“Much smaller, less people. Do you like it here?”

“It’s okay. I don’t really get out much, so I might as well live in a small town sometimes.” Except if Seungmin lived in a small town, he would have been caught a long time ago. He chose to stay in Seoul for the ease of blending in, or disappearing. And for the wide pool of potential victims. “I say that now, but when I was…single, it was different. It’s easier to be at home now, because I’m not always alone with my thoughts.” Yeah, that makes sense. Seungmin can turn off the bad noise—not always, but certainly more than before.

“That makes sense. Sounds nice. Sounds serious.”

“It is. And speaking of that, there’s something I kept meaning to mention, and I just…I haven’t.”

“What is it?”

***

He makes sure to text you on the way up the elevator, but you don’t reply by the time he slides the key in and pushes the door open. “We’re here…oh.” Seungmin shuts the door softly, and Heecheol watches as he kneels where you’re still sleeping on the couch; blanket pulled up to your chin, Daengmo shielding your eyes from the sunlight. Seungmin picks him up slowly. “Hey…”

You stir a little, and as your eyes flutter open, you remember where you are, and what’s going on. You remember where Seungmin went and that he wasn’t returning alone. “My alarm didn’t go off…or, I slept through it, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you can nap. Do you wanna get into bed while I get us settled?”

It takes a moment, but you sit up carefully and wonder how puffy and groggy you look to your guest. “No, I’m awake…hi.”

“Hi.” He smiles at you just as sweetly as he did before, but his eyes fall to your stomach this time. “I can understand why you’re tired. Please don’t force yourself to lose sleep because of me.”

“I sleep all the time...maybe too much. I’m hoping my decaf will trick my brain into thinking it’s getting caffeine.”

Heecheol approaches, a little hesitantly, but then sits a few inches away on the couch. “Right, the decaf makes sense now. Did you drink a lot of coffee before you were pregnant?”

“Yes, every day”

“A little bit of caffeine here and there won’t hurt. And if it makes you happy, that’s probably better for baby than you feeling miserable without it.”

“I’m nervous about doing something wrong”

“When did you have your last appointment?”

“Two weeks ago”

“And how did it go?”

“It went well. They looked very healthy, and they just needed more time to fatten up.”

“They?” His eyes grow, but he looks to Seungmin for an answer.

***

“I should have told you before today”

“As long as she’s comfortable with me here, that’s what matters.”

Seungmin sets his iced coffee in front of him, the same as what he’s drinking. “Still. I hesitated. I told you how long we were together, and I didn’t want you to think it was because we made a mistake.”

“I don’t think that.” Heecheol slides his hand across the counter and sets it over Seungmin’s. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Mo.”

He smiles at that—his nickname. The first time Heecheol heard his mother call him Mo, it stuck. Seungmin turns his hand over and squeezes his fingers.

“I’ve never known you to do anything lightly”

They speak softly at the kitchen counter, but you still catch pieces of the conversation. You recognize some of it, to your surprise—single words, at least. You catch your name, and that’s not surprising. Heecheol didn’t seem very surprised when he saw you, so Seungmin obviously got around to telling him at some point. The babies are moving around as you stand by the door and adjust your shirt, and you have to stop and breathe until they stop…it feels like they’re arguing in there; kicking each other, fighting for more room. Breathing excercises aren't enough. The horrible swirling feeling and the smell of lunch cooking on the stove makes you sick, and you stumble out and head for the bathroom.

“Tokki, are you okay?”

You see them from the corner of your eye as you walk by, but you don’t stop, because if you do, you might not make it.

“Still getting nauseous?” Heecheol asks. He walks up behind Seungmin as he stares at the closed bathroom door.

“Sometimes. Especially if they’re very active, but active is good, right?”

“Yes, and they’re taking up a lot of space in there. I’m sure it’s very hard when they won’t rest together.”

He’s never thought about it quite like that. Just because they share a space doesn’t mean they share a schedule. One takes a nap, the other wakes up and kicks his brother until he starts to kick back. He can’t imagine how strange that feels inside of you. “Hopefully they rest together when they’re here with us.”

“They’ll keep a routine as long as you give them one, and they need that, but babies will always do what they want”

“Cheoli, you seem to know a lot about babies”

“Lots of rotations on the maternity ward, here and in the states. It’s my favorite. Oh, how did your cut heal?”

There’s a scar there, but barely. Seungmin sticks out his arm and Heecheol runs his thumb over it. “Very well, you stitched it so straight.”

A few minutes later you emerge, pale in the face, but feeling better. The two of them look at you from where they sit at the counter, and Seungmin smiles as you approach. They’re both clutching their coffees now, but you’re certain you saw them clutching each other before you interrupted.

“I can make you something easier on your stomach, if you want”

You hoist yourself onto the stool next to him, “no, I’m okay…I think they finally calmed down,” and Seungmin scoots you closer.

The silence, one long enough to start feeling uncomfortable, is finally broken by Heecheol. And he speaks to you. “Do you like living here, in Korea?”

The thought never crossed your mind, strangely enough. Living here, or living there—it’s been the same in some ways, or it used to be. You lied to Seungmin about how long you’ve been here, and he knows that, but you’ve never actually told him the truth. Two months spent by yourself, trying to adjust…trying to settle somewhere new and far away from home. “I do. Learning Korean has been hard, and I feel like I’ll never get the hang of it. I really should be immersing myself, but it’s hard when he speaks perfect English.”

He nods and smiles at Seungmin, who looks a little guilty for making things too easy for you.

“It was hard when I was alone. I almost left a few times, but finding him made everything feel right.”

“And now you two have made a sweet little family"

Seungmin’s smile is so wide, you can see it without even turning to look at him, and it gives you butterflies. Or maybe the babies are just awake again. You didn’t expect to reminisce about the way your relationship came to be, but of course his friend wants to know details—details you can’t give, but ones you’ll remember, sometimes in intense detail. The forest hasn’t been forgotten, not at all, and you still wonder what pulled him in there. If you asked, he wouldn’t know, so sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and wait for a dream to come; a nightmare that gets him talking. It does weigh on you—the eavesdropping and the hope for a vivid dream, but so does his strange behavior.

“Sometimes I would wonder if it was ever possible…being a father, and if I could even do it. It seemed out of reach for me.”

“Why? I understand the feeling, though."

“Tokki should have dropped me and ran more than once already, but…I’ve been lucky. I’m not easy to deal with.”

Heecheol smiles and lets out a tiny laugh, but only after seeing your smile. “We fit well together, just like the two of you seem to. I’ve never seen him smile at anyone else the way he smiles at you.” The happy blush already on his cheeks darkens even more, and his eyes drop to his coffee. Every time you look at him, it just reinforces your assumptions. Maybe Heecheol didn’t have feelings for Seungmin when they were kids, but he does now, and it hit him so suddenly when he laid eyes on him again. All those good feelings came back; the comfort, and the understanding.

Or maybe you’re just projecting. Maybe you’re just thinking anyone could fall in love with him so easily.

Seungmin squeezes the hand you placed in his lap, and at the same time, slides the other across the counter. Heecheol grabs it without hesitation.

“This time last year,” he starts, but you can tell he hasn’t gathered all of his thoughts yet. “Uhm, uh—“ he releases both of you and wrings his hands together as he continues to think. You can tell he’s retreating. “Nevermind.”

What was Seungmin doing last spring: what was going through his head?

“You can tell us, Mo. When it feels right.”

Both of you are gentle with him, and Heecheol doesn’t even know just how much Seungmin needs that. He also doesn’t know how rarely he opens up. Too often he lies in bed, staring at the ceiling; eyes slowly closing, but he never falls asleep before you do. Whatever is on his mind in those moments belong to him, and only him.

Tonight is one of those nights. An hour passes slowly as you watch him think. It was an unseasonably warm day, perfect for the baseball game they went to, and it’s carried into the night—a breeze just barely makes it to the bed. Seungmin is star-fished on his back, blanket covering one full leg. The rest of him, aside from what his shorts cover, is out and damp with sweat.

“I can put a fan on if you’re too warm,” you say, even though his eyes are closed now, and he might finally be asleep.

“I’m okay. Are you? Are the babies making you warm?”

“A little”

He’s up with a grunt, and he stretches his back and shoulders as he heads for the balcony. First he pulls the curtains aside as far as they’ll go, and then he slides the door open a little bit more.

“That makes me nervous”

“Hm…what does, the balcony?”

“The curtain and the door being all the way open.” You feel stupid thinking it, but not stupid enough to keep it to yourself. “I keep wondering if you were sleepwalking that night.”

“If I was,” he smiles sweetly at you, “I haven’t done it since. You haven’t caught me, at least.”

“I know”

“And we have a nice breeze coming in now…you’ll sleep better”

“Do you think Heecheol is okay? I don’t want him to be uncomfortable and not let us know.”

Seungmin stops halfway back to bed, “I’ll check.”

***

He doesn’t bother turning on a light, so he walks carefully to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. While he’s there, he wonders if alcohol is a good choice. A beer, just one on top of the three he had earlier, probably wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it’ll help him sleep. Seungmin grabs one and heads for the nursery, and before knocking, sets his ear against the door. At first it’s quiet, but a moment later, he hears what sounds like a muffled video playing on his phone. A soft knock, and a moment later, he hears him…I’m awake, you can come in.

Seungmin pokes his head in and sees him propped up on the pillows, phone in hand. “Sorry, we just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” The window is cracked, and he can feel the breeze coming in. “Or if you needed anything.”

“Yeah, I’m comfortable. I thought you’d be asleep by now, it’s late.”

“Can’t sleep”

“You can come in”

Seungmin steps in and sets the water on the side table. “Brought this anyway.”

He nods to the bottle of beer. “Who’s that for?”

Both of them had enough to drink at the game, but his enough is double that of Seungmin’s, at least. He was still a little tipsy on the bus ride home, and Heecheol quietly stared at Seungmin for the duration.

“I can get another if you want this one”

“No, I think I hit my limit today.” The bed squeaks as he moves to make more room, and Seungmin takes the invitation. “Went a little over it, maybe.”

“Are you feeling okay now?”

“Yeah, back to normal I think. So this is the future nursery?”

Seungmin looks around and smiles as he twists off the cap. The color he chose looks nice in the dim lamplight, and a small collection of plushies is already accumulating on top of the dresser. Two boxes lean against the wall; a crib for each boy, and he knows he needs to start working on assembling things. You’ve already told him they won’t be sleeping in here for a while, so in your bedroom are two more boxes, each containing the pieces for a bassinet. Seungmin never really knew how much a baby needed, but it’s a surprising amount—doubled. “Yeah, just enough room, at least while they’re small.”

“Do you need help putting those together? Or anything else…doesn’t seem like you have everything yet.”

“No, I can’t make you work while you’re—“

“What was that?” The noise is faint, but Heecheol catches it. Seungmin hears it the second time—a soft cry, like you’re trying to call for him.

They’re both on their feet, stumbling through the dark until Seungmin pushes the door open, and his stomach drops when he sees your pale, anguished face. “What… what is it, what’s wrong?” He asks as calmly as possible.

Heecheol rounds the bed and grabs your hand, and he’s quiet for a few seconds. “What’s hurting?”

“Everything”

“Have you felt pains like this yet?”

Flashbacks of the intense pains you felt while hiding out months ago come back to Seungmin. He was mostly useless then, and he feels only slightly less useless now.

He reaches for the lamp and clicks it on, giving the room some well needed light. “Have you had any false labor pains yet? Hey…look at me, I know it hurts.”

“No pains, no”

“Okay, try to breathe deep through your nose, and then let it out slowly…very slow.”

Seungmin’s grip on your hand relaxes. “I can see…is that them moving?” He almost lays his palm on your stomach, but thinks better of it. That’s probably not what you want or need right now.

“They can feel it, too,” Heecheol speaks softly, “and this is a long one. Take another big breath…it’ll pass.”

You listen, and as hard as it is to take a deep breath, you manage it twice. This is a new type of pain you’ve never experienced before, and you’re not sure you’re ready to deal with it again. Two long minutes of it, and all you can see to your left is a blur of Seungmin staring you down. You’ve never seen him look more worried than he does right now. “It’s okay, Minnie…I’m okay.” You aren’t, not really, but the pain is gradually easing up, and it becomes easier to breathe.

Heecheol squeezes your wrist again, and his other hand lands gently on your stomach. “They might be awake for a while now, but hopefully no more pains that intense.”

“I don’t think I can do that again”

“You can—you will, and you’ll be surprised by the amount of pain you can endure”

“I don’t want to,” you laugh, and wince in pain again when one of them kicks hard enough to see.

Seungmin stares, and finally places both hands on your stomach. “Is it normal to see them moving like that?”

“Yeah, especially considering how cramped it’s getting in there; you’ll see all kinds of movement. Feel anything?”

He smiles, “yeah, I’ve never felt them so active before.”

“Me neither,” you sigh and set your hands on top of his. “I wonder which one is the worst.”

“Do you need anything? Water…and something for the muscle pains you’ll be feeling would be a good idea.”

“I’ll get you something, I’ll be right back.” Seungmin bends down to kiss your hand before jumping off the bed and heading for the medicine cabinet. He wants to feel useful, and it’s tough to do with a nurse in the room.

You watch Heecheol start to rise, but he stops and feels your pulse. He’s calm, like he’s been in this situation more times than he can remember, and having him here right now, tonight, was very lucky. “Thank you. I don’t know how well he would have handled that alone. He’s doing a good job, but he worries…and overthinks.”

“So he hasn’t changed.” Heecheol laughs and looks around. He sees the dried flowers, slowly crumbling away in a brand new vase, and next to it is the still broken pieces of his music box. To new eyes, it probably looks like a mess, and nothing else.

There’s no sound coming from outside the bedroom, so you keep your ears perked while you watch him walk to the other side of the room. “Can I ask you something, before Seungmin comes back?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure…is it about…” his gaze drops to your stomach.

“No, it’s about when you two were kids.” He’s making something warm to drink—you hear the familiar clumsy sound of him making tea. Heecheol moves closer as you sit up a little more. “Did he ever wander into the woods? I mean, aside from the incident with his stepfather. Did either of you ever see anything strange in there?”

The look he gives you is loaded with questions, and you think the meds must be one of them. “The woods? The pine forest around the old house?” Now his gaze moves to Seungmin’s side table, and you see what he's spotted. Seungmin’s prescription came in a box this time, and the writing on the front is hard to miss: HALOPERIDOL 2mg. “Not that I recall. It was creepy in there…I do remember him telling me he saw something, but just once. I didn’t believe him—I thought he was trying to scare me.” He has no clue which incident you're referring to with his stepfather, but he's curious. “Why do you ask?”

There’s no time to elaborate, because Seungmin is back—mug in one hand, bottle of water tucked under his arm. You remember this. He looks exactly like he did that night; worried, a little pale, half dressed with a mug of tea in one shaking hand.

“I sweetened it for you.” He sets it on your table, along with the water and two tablets he had clutched in his fist. “Cheoli…is it too early for this, the pain?”

“Not necessarily, but if there are more tonight, more that last that long…could be uhm, could be the babies trying to move into position.”

“Position? Position to what?”

Heecheol laughs. “To be born. They have to turn, head down preferably.”

“Right. But they can’t be born yet, it’s too soon.”

As much as you want to tell him not to worry, you can’t, because you’ve been nervous since the day you found out you were pregnant. Getting this far was a surprise. All you can hope for is Heecheol to put his mind at ease.

“It is, but the pains don’t mean they’re coming yet”

Somehow, Seungmin’s face grows even more pale. Not trying to worry him further is not working, for either of you. You calmly sip your tea, but he continues to watch you like you’re going to explode at any minute.

“I’m sorry, Mo, I’m not trying to worry you.”

Seungmin swallows and nods, and he follows Heecheol as he heads for the door. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

***

Half of his bottle is drained quickly, “what?” Seungmin isn’t just feeling watched—the look Heecheol is giving him is one of concern, and curiosity. Some confusion. “I know I didn’t handle that very well. I should be stronger than that.”

He shakes his head, “no, you’re allowed to be worried and a little scared. A little clueless. The two of you will get through it. But I do have to ask something…because you said, or we said…maybe we were both a little tipsy or getting too much sun at the game…”

He remembers. How can he do it, though? Seungmin can’t tell him everything. “No secrets, just like when we were kids.”

“That means a lot of catching up.” Heecheol takes the bottle from him and finishes it. “The Haldol, I’m assuming it's yours.”

Seungmin was so worried and distracted, he didn’t think about his medication sitting out in the open on his bedside table. Keeping them within sight has helped. But now he might have to jump right in and tell him something. “Yes, they’re mine.”

“We can talk about it another time, if you want, but no more alcohol. Just promise me that.”

“Okay”

“Go get some sleep. Wake me if either of you need anything.”

***

The pain mostly subsides, but the kicking and squirming doesn’t. Both of them feel like they’re spinning inside of you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Breathing exercises only help so much, and if there’s a neural connection that lets you communicate with them, they’re ignoring every word you say tonight. But Seungmin returns, and regardless of how tired and mopey he looks, you’re relieved to see him shuffling toward the bed. “Just in time. C’mere.”

“Are you hurting again?” He climbs across the bed and curls up next to you, despite how warm he is. The alcohol and conversation made him even warmer. “More pains?”

“Nothing like before, no. Can you talk to them, or something? Anything. They’re all worked up.”

Seungmin sits up and sets a hand on you until he feels movement. “I can try.” He lies down again, this time with his head on you, ear pressed against your stomach. “It’s bedtime,” he whispers. “Time to settle down and rest. Haneul…Haesung, which of us will fall asleep first? It can’t be me. I’ll stay up until umma falls asleep, and that means you two first.”

He’s been speaking to them by name for two months now, and you’ve started to as well. There hasn’t been any more discussion about it, so it seems like a good fit. Seungmin starts to hum, and you can feel it move through your chest. You worry for a moment that they’ll start squirming again, but they don’t, and you can finally close your eyes and relax. There’s still some fear that the pain will hit again, but you’re too tired to let it keep you up, and you feel yourself slowly fading into sleep.

*

A dim, measured beep starts going off, just enough to be annoying. You’re still tired, and you desperately want to sleep, so you try to block it out and slip back to where you were, but it gets louder.

“Seungmin…what is that noise?” You cup your palm over your ear, but it doesn’t help. “Is that your phone?” No, his alarm doesn’t sound like that, and he never has the sound on. Maybe he’s at his computer, mixing something together…but he hasn’t done that in a while. Your hand slides downward and jumps to your stomach. Nobody is kicking now—not that you can feel, but you can’t feel anything. “Seungmin?” He isn’t next to you. Finally, you open your eyes, and it’s blinding. Wherever you are is too bright, and it’s certainly not your bedroom. Moving is almost impossible, but as soon as you force yourself onto your back, all you see as your eyes adjust is a plain, drab room. You set your hand on your stomach again; there’s nothing there; no bump, and not even the ghost of one. This is the same stomach you had six months ago. Everything below your chest is numb.

The doorknob clicks, and a nurse walks in without a word. She looks at you, clicks a pen, and still says nothing.

“Where are my babies? Where am I?”

“Babies?”

“Where are they…where is Seungmin? He wouldn’t leave me here. Seungmin!”

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

You wake up again, and seeing him stare down at you is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. His big worried eyes, and his warm hands squeezing your shoulders bring you back immediately. "Stupid dreams," you mumble.

“Are you in pain?”

No, you think. Not at all. It was just a dream, and you’re here with him. Everything is okay. But you are in pain and it takes another few seconds to hit. It feels like you’ve been in pain for hours, and you’ve never felt anything like it before.

“Hey, it’s okay…everything is okay, I’m here”

It’s as if a vice is squeezing your back and pulling your spine from your body, inch by inch. Your chest burns when you try to breathe, and it comes back out in a cry. “It hurts.”

“I’m gonna take care of you, don’t worry.” He turns away screams for Heecheol.

It echoes in your head, and pain shoots around your stomach, around your back, and down your thighs. “They can’t come yet.”

“You’ll be okay, and they’ll be okay, too. Just look at me, take a breath.”

Heecheol runs into the room, but you can tell he’s calm as he approaches. “Hey, another bad one?” His hand clutches yours.

“Bad…it’s bad”

“Where does it hurt the most?”

“God, my back…and,” you set your hand on the bottom of your stomach and attempt another deep breath. “My chest.”

“Chest? How far is the closest hospital?”

“Uhm, the university hospital isn’t far. Should I call an ambulance?”

Heecheol gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “Can you walk? When this passes, if you can walk, we should get you there, just in case.”

“I’m not sure”

He looks at Seungmin, “if it doesn’t pass in the next few minutes, we’ll call. If it does, we can get ready and drive there.”

It does start to fade, but not nearly as quickly as before. Your head pounds from the tension in your body, and every muscles aches in its own way. You close your eyes and feel both of them move away from you, but you don’t bother to focus on what they say…

“Hospital? You think it’s time for that?” Seungmin asks. He watches you carefully as you finally start to relax.

“The pain seemed pretty intense. Is the pregnancy considered high risk?”

“I don’t think so…everything has been fine at the appointments”

His hands warm, damp are on you again; one squeezes yours, and the other runs softly across your thigh, “you okay?” He whispers.

“I dunno”

“We’re just gonna go to the hospital, to be safe,” he whispers again, trying desperately to keep you calm as he feels something falling apart inside of him. “So you can be more comfortable.”

“Will you stay with me?” A nauseous feeling starts to swirl inside of you, and you hope it’s the babies fighting again. You need them to move again. They haven’t moved since you woke up from your dream. “Please.”

***

The beeping is there again—it’s loud, and when your eyes open, everything is different, and he’s there, asleep with his head in his arms at the edge of your hospital bed. The lights are dimmed, and nobody else is around, because you assume it’s still the middle of the night. You don’t even know what time it was when you woke up in pain.

“Minnie?” Your voice cracks, and your cough is what wakes him up. “What time is it?”

“Uhm,” he grabs your arm and searches for his phone, “it’s 5:30. How do you feel?”

“Tired. What happened?”

“They gave you something to keep you from going into labor.” Heecheol closes the sliding door. There’s a coffee in each hand; one for him, and the other for Seungmin. “And something for the bleeding. And the pain.”

“Are the babies okay?”

“Yeah, babies are good. You don’t remember the ultrasound?”

Did you black out from the pain? Is labor actually that painful? “No, I don’t remember leaving the apartment.” If so, any fleeting thoughts you had of a natural birth before tonight…they’re long gone. “How long does the medicine stop me from going into labor?”

“Two days at the least, but an extra week is possible. Twenty-six is much better than twenty-five.”

You look to Seungmin, who’s looking at you the way that he tends to do; into you, and through you. He can’t hide the worry and sadness he’s carrying around with him. “Minnie, I’m sorry.”

“Why? You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You’ll be okay, and so will they.”

The dream keeps coming back to you, though.

***

It’s another two hours of you moving in and out of sleep before your doctor arrives, and when she walks into the room followed closely by someone else—a nurse, she looks concerned. You can tell she tries to shake it off when she gets closer.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“Better than I was last night”

“Last week everything looked very good, and they were…” She stacks her arms parallel to each other against her stomach, “transverse. They both moved very quickly, and now they’re both head down.”

“Is that bad?”

“It’s unusual this early, but we’ll try to keep labor at bay for as long as possible, and we can give you something to help speed up lung development. But after that, we just wait.”

“I have to stay here?”

“Just for three or four days. If everything stays calm after that, you can go home…but bed rest until the babies are born,“ She looks at Heecheol, and then to Seungmin. “I’m counting on you to keep her there, and do everything she says.”

***

Seungmin doesn’t want to, but eventually, after convincing him you’d be alright by yourself, Heecheol and him head back to the apartment. It’s a quick, silent drive, and neither of them speak much until they’re on the elevator, halfway up the building.

Heecheol wants to say something to comfort him, but he doesn’t know where to start, and he doesn’t know if anything he says will help, so he keeps quiet for now. In place of conversation, he starts making more coffee while Seungmin shuts himself in the bathroom.

He takes a long shower, and he’s still silent as he heads for the bedroom wrapped in his towel. The sounds of him changing, and then the familiar sound of a pill being pushed from the blister pack filters out through the cracked door. Heecheol wonders how long he’s been taking Haldol, and how serious his condition is. Schizophrenia? Bipolar disorder? Both, possibly. It seems to be well under control, though, and he hopes Seungmin will talk to him about it.

The door swings open. “How likely is survival if they’re born this premature?” Seungmin asks. The doctor may be going over this with you right now, but he needs to know, too. And he needs to talk about it.

“Around 75…80%. Each week increases that percentage a little more.”

“I’m sorry you have to be here for all of this, Cheoli”

“I don’t mind. I can get someone to check in on umma; she’ll be fine.” He slides a coffee closer to him. “I’d hate to think about you all by yourself here, waiting around. Besides, you’ll need help getting this apartment ready if mom’s stuck in bed for a while.”

The list of things to finish is getting longer, and he wasn’t sure he’d have enough time before they arrived. Now he might have no time, but it doesn’t matter, as long as they make it home. “It would be nice to get the nursery done, even if they won’t be sleeping in there when they come home.” He reaches for his buzzing phone and sees a text from you already.

I know you just left, and you seemed fine, but are you okay? You can call or text whenever you want to, because I’m gonna bother you just as much

I will, but I’ll feel bad if I wake you. Keep your phone on do not disturb and I’ll feel much better about it. And sleep. If you’re hungry for something I’ll bring it in for you. AND I will be there tomorrow morning.

I will, I promise. I just had breakfast, and it was okay, but maybe you can make me some soft-boiled eggs and sneak them in? They only gave me a half of one :(

I’ll bring you as many eggs as you can eat. How are you feeling? Are you comfortable?

I am, I’m feeling good, no pains or anything…lots of kicks, I think they still want out

I’ll try to visit tonight before you go to bed, and I’ll tell them they need to stay put for while. Cheoli is going to help me finish putting things together here. Everything will be ready before you come home 🤍

the list I’ve been working on is in my drawer…we still have a lot to cross off

We’ll take care of everything, promise

***

Seungmin finds your notebook right where you said it would be. Next to it is your old one…the one you were using to practice Hangul months ago; the same one you wrote his name in over and over through the first few pages. He opens it to see everything still there, and then flips further back to see how much better your handwriting eventually became. You don’t feel confident speaking Korean, even though you practice with him all the time, and he’s being honest when he says you’re doing well. But no matter how much he reassures, you still believe you just can’t get it. A few nights ago, you made yourself cry from the fear of not being able to speak to them properly. It’s the first time in a long time, aside from last night, that Seungmin can remember feeling truly helpless when it comes to you; he can’t fix it…not without time.

It just…scrambles in my head, even when you speak slowly to me. I can’t make sense of it.

We’re going to be speak Korean and English to them, right? So you keep learning as they learn.

The new notebook is a baby planner, and it’s well-used. The side pockets are stuffed with pamphlets and information the doctor gave you in Daegu; older, messier lists to refer back to, and a paint color swatch for the greens Seungmin chose from. He flips to the middle where your much neater, much more organized lists are, starting with NURSERY: two cribs and everything that’s goes with them, two bassinets, changing table, dresser. Most of that is sitting in their respective boxes, untouched. Baby monitor, just one of those; blankets, too many to count; pacifiers, also too many to count. He flips the pages. Fortunately, most of that section is checked off.

Fatigue starts to creep up on him, and just as he flips to the next page (FEEDING) Heecheol sneaks up behind him. “Feeding, still need all of those. We can get a lot done today, but we need sleep first.”

He must see it on him, the exhaustion. Neither of them slept last night. “Yeah, I am very tired. I can hear Tokki yelling at me for it—if I just start working without at least trying to rest.”

“Can I ask where the nickname came from?”

“Tokki?”

“Mhm. She looks more like a deer than a bunny…feels like one, too.”

He thinks about it, picturing your face in his mind; your voice, and your walk. Maybe you are more like a deer, but you’ll always be Tokki to him. “That’s true, but…she’s my moon, I guess.”

“Your moon?”

“Yeah. We should get some sleep.”

***

Both of them get back into bed without bothering to set alarms, and they both sleep well into late afternoon. The sun is still up, just barely, when Heecheol finally opens his eyes, but his head is pounding. He decides to close his eyes again, and if Seungmin happens to wake up and need him, he’ll get up, but that doesn’t happen.

The first time Seungmin wakes, the sun is setting, and some of the light is pushing through the thick curtains. Before dozing off again, he watches it move across the room, and then he looks at his phone; no notifications. He knows you’re safe and resting, and that makes it even easier for him to slip back into sleep. But something creeps into his head without him realizing it; it was there last night, and when he sat in the hospital room watching your every move. It was there as he flipped through the baby book, trying to figure out his next step. It's been there since he went back into the woods; he's just gotten better at holding it back.

It’s full dark when he wakes again—10 o’clock. He slept too much, and the pain in his head is pulsing behind his eyes. He can’t remember what day it is, and why he’s been asleep. Why is he waking at this hour? Seungmin sits up. “Why is it so quiet?” He says to himself, and immediately falls back onto his pillow. Again, he looks at an empty phone, and then he scratches at the scar on his forearm. The empty spot to his left confuses him, and without thinking; without knowing exactly why, he jumps out of bed and opens his drawer.

“What? Where…is…” he moves a few things around. He doesn’t remember putting these things here, and he certainly doesn’t remember moving his tools. Seungmin moves to the dresser and checks each drawer. Nothing. Next is the closet. He glances at the bin by the door; the one filled with his old baby clothes, and a few forgotten toys, but he chooses to ignore it. The first thing he notices is a box, slightly larger than the photo boxes it’s sitting next to. It’s a nice box, with a hinged lid and a lock. And it’s locked. Does he have a key for this lock? Seungmin is pretty certain he has a key for every lock.

The ring of keys was in the drawer, so he and the box return to bed, and after four careful tries, it clicks.

“How did you get in here? I don’t remember...” He picks up his knife, safe in its leather sheath, and slowly pulls it out. It shines at him in the darkness, and he sees his reflection in the polished steel. “Oh well.”

Back to the closet, and then to the dresser. Black jeans, and a fitted tank top. Black boots—not his good ones, but they’re still nice—and two silver chains around his neck. He checks himself in the mirror before throwing on his jacket...runs his fingers through his hair and fluffs it up a little. By the time he walks out the door, he looks perfect.

***

Might as well just sleep the rest of the night, Heecheol thinks as he rolls around trying to get comfortable. He checks his phone for messages, and there’s nothing, so everything is fine at home. No need to worry. The headache is gone, at least, but he has to get up and rehydrate…maybe check in on Seungmin. He had a rough day, and meds or no meds, things can go downhill quickly.

The little hallway is dark, and so is the living room. One tiny light in the kitchen helps guide him toward the water, but not before noticing the light coming from Seungmin’s bedroom, so maybe he is up, and he is okay. Heecheol grabs his water and heads for the bathroom, but he doesn’t get far before something grabs his attention; a sound, and not a particularly nice sound. A gasp for air.

“Seungmin, are you up?” He says softly, and his heart pounds louder than his voice. One ear pressed against the door is his second mistake; the first being approaching it at all.

you…fucking…don’t fight me…do not touch me

“What the hell?”

A few seconds pass, and silence takes over. Heecheol is afraid to move in case the hardwood floor squeaks and gives him away, so he hears something else—a quiet groan, but it’s not Seungmin’s voice. He takes a chance when he starts to speak again, and somehow manages to make it to the nursery and close the door behind him. Just in time. The door opens, and light fills the living room. Heecheol’s view from the keyhole is a little too good, because the reflection on the knife seems to bounce right off of his door. The weapon almost distracts him from the fact that Seungmin’s hands are covered in blood, and a splatter of it managed to travel across his cheek. The bathroom light illuminates things a little more—Seungmin disappears inside, and Heecheol waits motionless; breathing in shaky breaths, and letting them out quietly. What is he witnessing right now? What did his friend do?

The bathroom water runs for a few minutes, and then he emerges again with a clean knife in his clean hands. The front door clicks, but there’s no way he’s leaving the apartment with a body (maybe—he doesn’t know if there’s a body anywhere…he could just be in a very vivid nightmare for all he knows) laying in his bedroom. Heecheol waits it out for another few minutes, but manages to unstick himself from his spot and grab his phone. A well-timed text might help clear things up, or confirm some very scary suspicions, but when he pulls up the message thread, he can’t do it.

The door opens and another light clicks on, and Seungmin is heading back to the bedroom. Thanks to the extra light, he can very clearly see what he’s now carrying; a neatly folded tarp, or…some type of plastic. A drop cloth you’d use while painting, possibly. And a bucket, he assumes full of cleaning supplies. There wasn’t much doubt in what he was hearing and seeing, especially with a knife in hand, but this confirms what he’s really, truly trying to push out of his head. Seungmin is preparing to dispose of a body, right in front of his eyes. Is he not worried Heecheol will hear or see him? “Maybe you’re not all there right now,” he whispers as he turns and somehow still gives his friend the benefit of the doubt; but not really…he knows what’s happening, sure, but maybe there’s something more. “What is wrong with me…he just killed someone, quietly…oh, Mo, what the hell is going on?”

He should be planning his escape right now—packing up and heading to the train station or finding a hotel. Why isn’t he moving?

A thud, the sound of plastic, and then he appears again, slowly. Seungmin comes back into his field of vision, back first, pulling the wrapped body little by little. He can’t make out much except a vague idea of size, and it’s not very small. Seungmin grunts a little each time he pulls, and then you hear his phone. Of course he turned the sound on in case you called or messaged him. Of course it’s you. He drops what he’s doing and hops over the body as he runs for it, and he gets there before you hang up.

“Hi sweetie, you’re up late…is everything okay?”

…nothing quite as frustrating as hearing one side of the conversation, Heecheol thinks. But not for long. Seungmin puts it on speaker and puts the phone in his pocket so he can continue. Apparently, Seungmin's mental break erased Heecheol from the equation.

why are you up so late? You don’t sound like you were sleeping

“I slept all day. I bet you did, too. How are you feeling?”

Yeah I fell asleep right after dinner. Did you eat? What are you doing?

“Uh, no…I haven’t eaten, not yet”

is Heecheol still there?

Hearing Seungmin say his name sends him into a panic, and he has to cup his head over his mouth to quiet his breaths.

“Is…Heecheol?” Seungmin pulls one more time, stops, and stands up straight. “Uhm…”

Minnie, what was that? What are you doing?

…and then he turns his head toward the nursery door. “Nuh…nothing.”

did you leave and come back with someone? Please tell me you didn’t do that, not right now…baby

Seungmin does something stupid. He’s never hung up on you, or ignored you; not until tonight. He hits the end call button and shoves the phone back in his pocket, and now Heecheol watches him approach. He freezes for a few more steps, but manages to quietly slip back under the covers and pretend to sleep.

“Heecheol?”

His heart feels on the brink of giving out. There’s no way he’ll fall for the fake sleeping unless he can relax. The door clicks and squeaks a little as it’s pushed open.

“Cheoli, are you...”

Deep, steady breaths. No, sound asleep…he heard nothing, and he saw nothing. But he’s not in the clear yet, because Seungmin is still there watching. Heecheol hears him sigh.

“...awake?”

The doors squeaks again, clicks shut, and Heecheol finally shifts. The phone rings again, so he knows Seungmin has returned to his job.

“Hey, I’m sorry—”

Don’t ever hang up on me like that

“I’m sorry, I am…I don’t know why I did this”

He must have turned the speaker off, but Heecheol can still hear you—your voice carries easily in the quiet apartment.

Are you at home? Did you finish?

“Yeah, almost. I made a mess, though.”

oh, no…

“Everything will be fine. I’ll clean up. Heecheol was asleep when I just looked in on him.”

No, Seungmin it’s happening again

“What, what’s happening?”

There’s no real answer on your end of the conversation, but there’s a horrible, anguished wail. The labor pains have already returned.

“Fuck, I’ll be there as soon as I can”

The call ends, and Heecheol is still stuck. Seungmin can’t run off with a dead body in the middle of the floor, so he has to clean up before he leaves, but he might not have much time. He can hear the sounds of him banging around, and he can’t begin to imagine how he’s taking care of this.

Seungmin grabs the end of the plastic again and pulls. He’s moving faster now, because he has to, and a few seconds later he’s out of the front door. The next apartment; the empty one they’ve started using as storage, is thirty feet down the hall, and Seungmin covers it quickly. Adrenaline pumping through him should make quick work of this.

The slam of the neighboring door gets Heecheol up again and peeking through the keyhole. He catches sight of Seungmin running by and pulling off his top, and after a few minutes of changing and cleaning up any leftover blood (he assumes), Seungmin bolts by again, slams the door shut, and everything goes quiet again.

“What the…fuck?” It’s strange hearing himself after the terrified silence. “Seungmin, what the fuck?” Now what is he supposed to do? Stay? Leaving in the middle of the night is out of the question, unless he wants to make it obvious he actually did witness a murder. Seungmin might have to get rid of him or anyone who knows—apparently not you, though. You knew exactly what he was up to, and even though you weren’t thrilled about it, you’re still here and carrying his children. Tokki should have dropped me and ran more than once already, but…I’ve been lucky. I’m not easy to deal with. He thinks he knows at least one reason why Seungmin is difficult. It’s almost 2am when he checks his phone again. In another minute, he’ll text him:

I heard the front door slam, and you were gone when I checked…everything okay?

It’s less than three kilometers to the hospital, so driving there at this hour should be quick. It takes three more minutes for a reply:

Yes I’m sorry Cheoli. I panicked and ran. I didn’t wanna wake you, but I’ll keep you updated.

If you can. Let me know if you need anything.

Maybe he doesn’t suspect anything. He is typically a deep sleeper, and Seungmin might remember that from when they were kids—hopefully he does. Heecheol is more worried about you, actually. You might not believe he missed the entire ordeal—you’re going to suspect he witnessed everything, even is Seungmin doesn’t. He needs time to process this, and the first thing he does is check the bedroom. It looks the same as it did last night, but it smells like a mix of disinfectant and the coppery scent of blood. The open balcony door hasn’t helped air it out yet. The only other thing that seems off is the wooden box sitting on his side of the bed. It’s closed, but it isn’t locked. “Oh no,” he cringes when he sees what’s inside; the knife, clean and back in its sheath; nylon rope; syringes; handcuffs.

It feels stupid as he’s doing it, but he heads to the kitchen and makes himself a cup of tea. He checks one of the cupboards and finds a hoard of snacks that he can only assume belongs to you. He pulls out an already open bag of chips and starts to eat while his tea steeps.

A few minutes later, a text message comes through, and it’s from Seungmin.

They can’t stop it this time, they’re preparing for delivery

“Damn. I’m sorry, buddy.” He says it out loud to himself, and immediately feels a horrible swirl in his stomach. Hours ago, he knew Seungmin deserved all of the good things he was finally getting. A good relationship, and a family of his own. He’s been through a lot, and Heecheol doesn’t even know how terrible Seungmin’s childhood actually was, but he just killed someone in his bedroom. It’s possible that both of you are killing; some sick version Natural Born Killers come to life. Is that actually how you two met?

It’ll be okay. They’ll take good care of them. All three of them.

They won’t let me in the room. They said I have to wait until things are more stable.

That’s normal. Just stay calm and they’ll let you in as soon as they can. I’m sure she’s asking for you. I can make my way down there.

He can?

Can you, Cheoli? I’m sorry you have to come down alone

Yes, he can. Seungmin needs him.

I’ll look for a ride right now

This has been his worst day in a very long time, and he can feel it in every single nerve in his body. His head aches, and his joints do, too; his heart hasn’t stopped racing since he woke from his very long nap. But his friend is coming to be by his side, and thinking about how close he came to ruining things is making him sick to his stomach. You, in that room, alone and in pain, has him on the verge of crying and screaming at everyone he sees sitting calmly in front of him. Can they not see how distressed he is? Why isn’t anyone telling him how you are?

“Hey, Mo”

Seungmin jumps, but smiles when Heecheol sits next to him in maternity waiting room. One of the nurses glances at them, but says nothing. “Thanks for coming.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He looks down at Seungmin’s fidgeting hands and sees blood that isn��t there. “Haven’t heard anything new?”

“No, I feel like everyone is ignoring me”

“I’m sure they’re not. It’s a stressful situation, and everyone is focused on making sure Tokki and the babies are both safe.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right”

“We’ll hear something soon”

***

The pain meds took hold, and the nurse made sure to tell you how lucky you are that they pushed them in time. Everything from your stomach to your knees is a partially numb, but every time you take a breath, you feel the pain.

“I’m going to see if things are progressing…” a nurse says and pushes hard on one of your knees. She speaks to another nurse first, than to you. “Still five centimeters.”

Still. You’ve been at five since the pains first started. “When can I see Seungmin?”

“Seungmin?” One looks to the other and asks.

“Nampyeonbun”

“Oh…the cute, pouty one sitting in the waiting room? She whispers in Korean to her partner. “Soon, you’ll see him soon”

You look everywhere for your phone, but one of them must have taken it when things started getting chaotic.

“Don’t cry, everything will be fine. Doctor will be here soon, and she’ll know exactly what to do.”

She will, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s too soon, and it’s very possible that, no matter how smoothly the delivery goes, you could still lose one, or even both of them. That can’t happen—you won’t be able to handle losing what you thought you never wanted, or failing to keep his children alive. And Seungmin won’t be able to cope with losing another piece of himself.

“Should we go get him?”

Just as she asks, the doctor arrives, only slightly deshelved from the 2am phone call. She smiles at you just like before; a bad attempt at hiding her obvious concern. “Where’s dad? Not sleeping, I’m sure.”

“I was just going to get him”

The other nurse moves to stand by your bedside. “No progress in dilation for an hour. Five centimeters, currently.”

“Thank you. Did the epidural work?”

“Sort of”

“If you don’t progress in the next half an hour, we should consider other options.”

The nurse returns, and Seungmin comes in quietly behind her. He’s pale, and his cheeks are red and blotchy. He looks as if he’s been awake for two days straight. His approach is hesitant at first, as if he’s afraid to touch you, but when you whisper his name, he breaks out into a smile. “Hey.” He touches your hand and you pull him until he puts his arms around you. “Please don’t be mad, I didn’t mean to be so careless.”

“I’m not, I promise”

“We were just discussing other options that may become necessary”

“What options?” Seungmin asks.

“Heart rates have returned to normal, but they may not stay that way. C-section would be less stressful for mom, and less traumatic for the boys.”

He looks to you, hopeful, thinking that’s an easy solution to this problem. “Is that something you would want?”

It might be. “If I have to, I will.”

“Okay,” the doctor nods. “Only if necessary. We’ll check again in thirty minutes. We’ll leave you two alone, but call if you need anything.”

***

The two of you stare silently at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Seungmin squeezes your hand, and eventually drops his gaze to your stomach. His other hand feels for any movement.

“What happened?”

“Not sure. I woke up and…it felt like what I had to do. Maybe all the worry and stress caught up to me.”

You squeeze back. “I’m only upset because I’m worried you were disassociating again, and not all there. Do you remember everything? Did he see you?”

The finer details are already lost on him, now that you mention it. He’s forgetting this, just like he couldn’t remember wandering into the woods, or what he did while he was there. He doesn’t even remember the feeling creeping up on him; the voice pushing him to do it. What he does remember is making a mess. The knife seemed like the obvious solution to quell the need. “Some. And no, I don’t think so. He’s in the waiting room.”

“He’s here?”

Seungmin nods, and you reach out to rub a spot on his neck. “I didn’t have time to clean up properly...what is it?” It feels like he’s setting off your pains. Every time he does something stupid, they return. “Should I call someone back?”

“I know I can’t push but…fuck, they’re making it very hard”

“Okay, you’re supposed to do the breathing techniques, right? No pushing, just nice big breaths.”

You breath in and out as steadily and calmly as possible, and Seungmin does it with you. It feels good doing it with him, and eventually, the contraction passes.

“No meds for the pain?”

“Yeah, it helped a little. I can still feel it.”

He’s surprisingly calm, and maybe he’s truly confident that everything will be okay. The last twenty-four hours have been more than stressful, and his kill seems to have grounded him—at least he’s gained that much. Not having him clear-headed and here with you is something you let yourself worry about far too much.

Another pain shoots through you, this time a little worse. He panics and pushes the call button on the side of your bed, and the doctor makes it in the see the very end of your contraction.

“Was that your first contraction since we left?”

“Second”

“Let’s check things out.” She pats your knee sweetly, and her bedside manner is a relief compared to both of your nurses. A few seconds into her inspection, and again you’re relieved to see a non-worried smile on her face. “Good, almost there. One more contraction and you might be ready to let them out.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to wash up and change, and dad is going to join me so he can stay.”

For five minutes, you’re completely alone again. The only sound is the woosh of two heartbeats, and when you look at the machine you’re hooked up to, you see your own heart rate sitting at 90. Baby 1 is 125, and baby 2 is 130. It occurs to you now that the two of you haven’t discussed who is who, so it’s the first thing you say when he walks back in, and he’s almost unrecognizable in his mask and gown.

“First born…Haneul or Haesung?”

Seungmin adjusts his mask, and his eyes look even more intense peeking over it. “Huh? Oh, who is Haneul and…I guess we never thought about that part. Should the oldest be Sky? And Haesung is little brother.”

“That sounds good”

The mask doesn’t hide his sudden worry. That’s all in his eyes, but he does his best to keep his mind on you. Seungmin made sure to update Heecheol before getting ready, and before he got his attention, he looked lost. He looked like he wasn’t sure which direction to go in. Heecheol’s foot tapped nervously, and he was chewing on his fingers, but Seungmin doesn’t think any of that was because of the situation they’re in here at the hospital. No. Now he’s wondering if Heecheol did hear something. Or worse—see something. As soon as he saw him approach, he perked up and gave him a smile.

“Delivery time. You can stick around if you’d like, or I can call a ride and you can get some sleep. I’m sorry your visit has been so strange.”

Strange doesn’t quite cover it. Running to and from the hospital has been very normal by comparison, and honestly, good bonding time for him and Seungmin. “How about I stick around for a little longer, and then when I know everything is okay, I’ll head back and put that nursery together.”

“You don’t have to do that”

“I know. But I’d like to. I’ll make myself something, get some coffee going, and you stay here as long as you need to.”

“Cheoli, I…when I say I don’t deserve a friend like you, I mean it. If things go well tonight, and I desperately need them to, it’s not because I deserve anything. Tokki does. I don’t.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“My heart, and my very damaged head”

He shakes his head and forces himself to smile. Does he know he knows? Is he attempting damage control? No. Heecheol doesn’t really think that’s the case. That might be part of it, but the bigger part is his sincerity, and his genuine aversion to himself. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

***

The doctors voice is floating somewhere in the room, but you can’t catch all the words. Her face is between your legs, and Seungmin has decided he doesn’t need to see what’s happening down there. He has your hand cupped between his, and he keeps putting his face into the sheets out of frustration. You’re dilated, but nothing is happening. You haven’t felt the urge to push in at least ten minutes.

Two incubators are pushed against the wall, ready and waiting, and every time you catch sight of them, it makes you a little more nervous. “Tell them to come out,” you whine, and the doctor laughs when she hears you.

“I think they’re going to listen to one of you better than me. Go ahead, talk to them.”

Seungmin takes her advice and scoots a few inches to his right. He bends close enough to set his lips against the little bit of skin showing between your gown and the blanket draped over your lap. “Are you two sleeping? It’s not a good time…you can nap after you come out and say hello.” He stops and waits a few seconds. “Please, I know it’s early but I would really like to meet you.”

Another few seconds, and you start to relax again, but you should know better. This isn’t the first, or second, or third time they’ve responded to his voice. This contraction doesn’t hit hard—it progresses slowly until you can’t take the pressure…

“Deep breath and a nice, slow push…good! Slow and steady. We have an appearance.”

“We do?”

“Hopefully you’ll only have a moment to rest, and then one push should give us your first born.”

She’s right. You get three full breaths before the next one comes, and when you push, you think Seungmin might crush your fingers under his grip.

“Good…keep pushing, very good. There he is, baby boy number one.”

All you see is the top of her head as she works quietly, and Haneul is quiet, too. Seungmin doesn’t move, but he does soften his grip.

“You worked hard, little one. I know you can cry for us.”

Seungmin takes a step towards them. “What’s wrong?” He’s wrapped and cradled in her arms, and sees a tiny foot and the briefest glimps of his face as he’s handed to one of the nurses. “Is he okay?”

“Just making sure his airways are clear, no need to worry.”

The nurse suctions his mouth and each nostril before setting him down and pulling at his blanket, and it’s right now that Seungmin gets his first real look him Haneul. Too small, but otherwise, he looks just like he imagined him all this time. There’s more hair on his head, though—for some reason, he wasn’t expecting so much already. His quiet cry finally comes, and everyone sighs in relief. It gets louder and louder until he’s wrapped up tight again.

“He sounds pretty strong for barely twenty-six weeks. Let’s get him comfortable, and after little brother arrives, we’ll bring them back in for a visit.”

The doctor takes her place between your legs again, and you try your best to tell him it’s time. Following his brother out should come naturally, right? You would really prefer them to only be minutes apart, because if you have to wait another ten—twenty minutes like this, you’re going to start crying.

“Hey, you okay?” Seungmin cups your cheeks and makes you look at him.

“Did you see him?”

“A little, yeah”

Lucky you; the contraction hits quickly, and it’s the worst one. The partial numbness is fading, and it might be in your head, but you’re certain you feel every part of him as he makes his way out. No scream, though. You decide to do that inside your own head so Haesung comes out to a calmer, more peaceful room

“Oh, that was fast…very good”

Seungmin doesn’t inch closer for a look; he retreats until he’s at your side again, and you wonder if he’s afraid of not hearing another little cry. His stare gives you his answer. “He’ll be okay. They’ll both be okay.”

The doctor stands, and you see him as she turns and heads toward the table. Again, just like his brother, his airways are cleared. And Seungmin inches closer.

“Please, don’t punish him for what I’ve done”

You hear him whisper, and you wonder if anyone else does.

She looks back and beckons him closer, and he hesitates again. “Come here and say something to him.”

Seungmin takes a few steps closer, and when he finally sees Haesung, he can’t believe how small he is. Smaller than his brother, he thinks, and with a little less hair. “Hi baby. Haesung, do you know who I am?”

You can make out almost every word of his soft, slow Korean from here. It feels strange to understand him after so much trying, but you do. He shifts a little so you can see better; you can see both of them as Seungmin runs his finger across an arm that isn’t much different in size. There’s still no dramatic cry, but he’s moving the only way something so new and weak can manage, and you do hear the tiny fussy noises all the way across the room. The doctor doesn’t seem worried, so you aren’t either.

***

Being left in the room alone to wait and wonder is excruciating...so much more difficult than anything has been the last twenty-four hours. There’s so much you can say to him, and ask him, but it’s not the time. It might not be the time until his friend questions and accuses Seungmin of the things you know he witnessed. This is really the only way to keep your mind off of the twins—you have to wonder if Heecheol is putting the Haldol and the strange behavior together; your question about him wandering into the woods as a child; his failed attempt to open up about something to both of you.

“Is Heecheol still here?”

“I think so. I let him know what was going on a few minutes ago, but he hasn’t responded yet.”

“Okay, let me know when he does”

The nurse finally returns, and she’s pulling something in behind her. The second nurse pushes from the other end, and you finally get your second wind. It no longer feels like you're running on almost no sleep. They’re here, and they must be okay if they’re coming to visit. No doctor coming in alone to break the bad news that one, or both of them, have a very slim chance of making it more than a few days. A few hours. You kept trying to prepare yourself for that moment to come, just in case, but no amount of that could ever make things any easier.

And you’re pleased to see a new, much happier looking nurse with them. She must be one of their new carers in the NICU.

“Baby Haneul is 1.3 kilograms, much bigger than we expected! Baby Haesung is 1.14 kilograms. They are both breathing well with a little bit of help from the incubator, and they are very excited to see you.”

Seungmin backs away as they’re rolled closer to the bed. Everything still feels a little bit dreamy to him, even as he looks down and sees them, face to face, arms carefully entertwined as if they can't get close enough. "They're both alright?" They were safe inside of you. They were warm, and well fed. Every night, Seungmin spoke to them, or read them stories. A few times, he sang. And now…

"Haesung is not quite as strong as his brother, but being cuddled up together will help get him there."

"It will?"

The nurse nods at both of you. "I'll leave the four of you alone to meet each other, but please ring the bell if you need anything."

She leaves, and suddenly, it's just him…and you…and them. The four of you. He sits so he can be at eye level and takes in everything about them; the little bit of dark hair, and tiny noses. Their perfect tiny lips, pursing and puckering as if they're waiting for their first real meal.

“They have your ears”

Seungmin cups his hands over them, “do they?” He tugs at his earlobes and smiles as he examines a little closer. “Can we touch them?”

“Yeah, you can”

This part is hard for him, no matter how excited he is. Before he reaches, you watch him get up and walk across the room where the sink is, and he washes his hands for the third time since they were taken from the room. He takes his time, inching closer and closer until Haneul shifts, and Seungmin’s fingertip moves softly across his shoulder. He squirms a little, and his arms seem to tighten around his brother. Now he’s feeling more confident, and he very gently runs the same finger over the helix of his ear. And then he does the same to Haesung. “Can you hear me in there?” Seungmin asks. “Do you recognize my voice?”

They both move and fuss a little more, as if answering.

“I think they do”

“You understood what I said?”

You wince as you adjust yourself and sit up. “Uh, I think so—mogsoli…nae mogsoli. Your voice…yeah, they know your voice, Min.”

“Gimme your hand.” He wiggles his fingers above them, close to the portal hole on your side, and he latches onto your fingers.

[cravingrickgrimes]

CHAPTER THREE | ❝IN THE DIM LIGHT❞

rick!grimes x male!reader (smut) top!rick x bottom!reader

multi chapters / not finished word count: 1185

updates daily!!

summary: You and Rick hadn’t moved from the car since you got on your knees. But after an hour, he asked you something that you made your heart skip a beat.

<- <- CHAPTER ONE

<- CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE:

“We should head back.” You put simply, by this point, the two of you were in the back seats laying down. Your head was nuzzled cozily against ricks chest. You liked the feeling of his chest rising and falling. You liked the fact he was even letting you lay on his chest. You liked how strong it felt on your head.

“We should.” Rick agreed, but you knew he wanted something more.

“We should.” You repeated to him, you moved your head to stare up at him now. He had one arm slung behind his head, giving you access to more of his natural scent. Seriously, you thought, how does someone smell so good? “But maybe this will be the last time we get to go on a supply run together.” You said exactly what he was thinking, and you knew it.

“Agreed.” He ran a hand through his hair; then cupped your face. “How would my darlin’ like to really feel me inside of him?” That just about got you rock hard again. So far, you had only given him pleasure. But the mere thought of him giving his cock to your body was making you feel like you were on fire.

“I think your darlin’ would really enjoy that.” You mocked as you sat up and straddled him. He flipped you over with his overwhelmingly strong arms and had you pinned against the back seat on your back.

“You’ve given me enough for today. Just…” He trailed a thick finger up your arm. “let me please you this time.” He tore your shirt off with his bare hands.

“Rick!” It was the first time you spoke his name and damn it felt good in your mouth. Just like he had. “That was my only shirt.”

“Don’t worry.” Rick soothed. “I brought spares.” In that instant, Rick grabbed both of your legs and hauled them onto his shoulders. He took your jeans off with insane speeds that made you almost scared for how rough he would be with you.

You felt exposed under his gaze, you could have sword you felt something as his eyes traced what was behind your underwear. He brought his middle and index finger to your mouth and commanded: “Suck.” You had gotten used to following his commands on sucking things. So you did just that.

Unlike his cock, his fingers were dry. But that was what felt good about sucking them. You knew that every single bit of lube on his fingers was your saliva.

He forced his fingers deep down your throat to collect enough spit. When he was pleased with what he has gotten on his fingers, he kissed your forehead and without a warning, inserted his long, large fingers inside of you. You gasped.

“I’m so sorry darlin’.” He whispered in your ear. His tongue flicked against your ear as if to distract you. “I’ll have to prepare you for the real thing.” That got him chuckling. You chuckled too, it was nice, a mutual laugh. “It’s going to hurt, okay?” All the humour drained from his voice and you almost shuddered at the way his breath went cold against your cheek.

“Okay.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you, but, this is what’s needed if you really want me.”

“I do.”

“That’s good, darlin’.” His fingers, slick with your spit, went deeper and you almost whimpered at the way he dug his fingers into your g-spot. ”It feels good, doesn’t it?” He let out a strangled groan. He felt you soften under his grasp. “That’s it.”

In truth, you were being calmed down by his presence alone. But also because of the way his neck muscles contracted with every thrust of his fingers. “I’m ready.”

That got his attention, he pulled up from your ear and stared down at you. You couldn’t not notice his large arms pinned beside either side of your head. You gulped under his heavy gaze.

“You sure?”

“Promise. I need…” You were so hot and flustered now you couldn’t muster the words.

“I understand.” He shot you back one of his signature smiles. You felt him fumble around for his lazily put on belt that he buckled back on right after he was done shooting his cum down your throat. It didn’t matter anymore, the belt was back off, and you were certain you were ready for him.

“You ready?”

“As i’ll ever be.” You almost moaned back.

“Okay.” A pause. Then, you felt all of him. You didn’t expect him to put it all in at once. But lord it felt good. It felt too good, like you would never feel anything better. He stared down at you, his eyes snapshots of hunger. His wavy curls fell in front of his face now.

He brought his lips toward yours and slammed them into yours. They were softer than you had expected, but then again, so was he.

His tongue tasted exactly how you expected. Even that tasted amazing, so much so that you let him invade you mouth. You focused on his cock slipping inside you, then slipping out. You had already memorised all of his veins. His balls slapped so loudly against your backside that you were scared of it attracting walkers.

He pulled his cock out and entered you again. Rick started slow as he pushed the first inch inside of your hole, then, he slammed the rest into you so fast you barely had any time to whine his name. It felt as good as the first time. Maybe even better.

You wrapped your legs around his strong back and pushed him further into you. You wanted every single inch. It felt so good to hear him groan above you. To know that you were making him feel like this was a feeling indescribable.

His pace quickened, and by now, you welcomed the change in pacing. Mostly because you liked the way sweat clung to Rick’s body. Especially when you were so close to him. “Do you feel good, darlin’?”

As soon as he spoke he changed his pace from rough and quick to slow and methodical. It was as if he knew your hole more than you did. He hit each and every single corner of you. His hips moved with passion and precision. You could feel your g-spot pulsing hard. You were close. And you told him exactly that:

“C-Close.” You managed to get out in quick pants.

“I understand baby.” With that he moved his cock inside you in a way that hit your g-spot and only your g-spot. You moaned so loud you knew you would have to deal with walkers before you could come back. Your nails scratched onto his back and felt the ridges of muscles.

All in one second you ejaculated so far and hard it shot up Rick’s neck and fell down on your stomach.

At the same time, he pushed all of his inches inside you and made a face you knew you would memorise. You felt his sperm fill your insides. He stayed inside you, just staring into your eyes.

[daisy-01-blog]

Yeehaw baby! (Smut Toji Fushiguro x fem! reader) crackfic

A/N: Sorry (not sorry) for the title. You’re a kindergarten teacher and Toji is a single father. 2nd person POV. Crack fic treated seriously. Vulgar language. Breeding kink 

You are stressed, and you usually are. But today you are more likely to commit a fraud, or an arson (what?) 

You don’t know why you think it’s a good idea to be a kindergarten teacher while having anger issues. They’re loud, they fight all the time, and they cry all the time. Every day is a new problem, and no one tells her how sassy they are. One time they asked you why you are not married yet, another time one of them tells you that you are ugly. 

This is bullying. 

Today, a kid gotten into a fight. Of course, kids fight all the time. But they are hurt because they fought physically, and your head hurts seeing their innocent faces full of scratches as they tell you what happened. 

You calm yourself down. Tomorrow, you have to meet with their parents separately, you didn’t need any more drama when you meet them at the same time. 

It’s fine, you told yourself. You can quit this job sooner or later-maybe in two years or so. You sighed as you pack your things for today. 

Megumi is a quiet kid-you noticed this. He rarely talks and rarely makes any commotion-Yuuji, is quite loud. He is always happy and boisterous. Yuuji said you’re very pretty (although he only said that because he wants some candy) 

So, when they fought, you ask them what happened. They both got teary eyed, although Yuuji straight up ugly crying and Megumi cries silently. 

“He calls my dad a bum” Megumi mutters quietly. 

You cannot laugh. You’re a teacher-you must not laugh. You laughed. 

“Yuuji” you said (attempt) sweetly “why did you call his dad a bum?” 

Yuuji wiped his tears “my dad said so” he said. 

You sighed “my dear, you cannot follow everything your dad said, okay? It’s a mean thing to say” You stare at them “now, you have to apologize to Megumi” 

After that they apologized and become friends again, holding hands while their faces are covered in tears. You cannot understand kid. 

It’s the next day, you discussed this matter with Gojo, Yuuji’s dad. He explains that him and Toji are good friends, so it was an inside joke they had. You nodded as you advised him to watch his language around his kid. It went well, you should’ve invited them at the same time. 

Or shouldn’t you?

You feel weird today, like something is going to happen. But what can happen? You’re just meeting Megumi’s dad today. You waited on your office. 

Not long after, a guy with a huge build enters the room-he has a scar on his mouth. 

Your jaw dropped (figuratively) 

What? Yes, he is very hot, and his outfit is inappropriate for formal meeting-but why does he look like a criminal syndicate? It’s funny more than anything. 

He stares at you, and you suddenly feel conscious. Your skirt is shorter than usual today. 

“Hello” he mutters, and his voice is deep. It makes your stomach feels a bit weird-you nodded “hello sir” 

He smirks and you can’t read him-you offer him to sit down as you both do so. 

“Your son got into a fight with his classmate” you said, straight to the point-you can’t wait to go home. 

“So, I’ve heard” he muttered “Gojo is a good friend of mine, but that brat dislikes him” he muttered, staring at your skirt. 

Your ears redden as you try to explain why he should be more mindful of his language-

“Your skirt is very short” he mutters suddenly, getting his face closer to you. 

“Sorry?” You squeaked, and you curse mentally because you sound like a dying whale. 

He smirks “you heard me” and he screams danger, you’re supposed to be scared but you’re a bit aroused instead. 

“I’m impressed” he whispers “I can see your legs, darling” 

Your ears redden “I don’t think this is- “ 

“Are you single?” he asks, his eyes gleam dangerously, and you feel your stomach do that weird somersault again. 

You’re supposed to ignore it, ask him to get out-say that’s inappropriate- 

“Yes” you answered, your breath hitched. 

He grins “that’s very fortunate” 

It escalates quickly, he kissed your lips roughly and you feel dizzy. You can feel his tongue entangling yours. He tastes like cigarettes, and he smells like one too. 

“Your lips is very soft” he pants “undress yourself for me will you?” 

And you did, you’re in a hurry. Your mind jumbled because of the kiss. 

He kisses your neck, and you hold your moan “all of you is very soft” he mutters as he slowly gropes your chest “they’re so big” he whispers, “Maybe I should make them full of milk” he bit your earlobe “milk your tits hmm?” 

You moan at the indication; you can’t think straight. 

He suckles your nipples, giving attention to one by one. You moan in pleasure. 

“Ahhn” you moan as he licks it. 

“I’ll breed you”he groans, kissing your stomach as he caresses it “make you full of my cum here” he pats your stomach “make your breasts full of milk too” 

You moan “please” and he grins, fingering your cunt as you moan in pleasure. 

“So wet already” he growls as he fingers your pussy. 

You moan “faster” you begged; you feel so fuzzy.

“Hear that sound” he whispers filthily on your ear “your pussy is weeping for my fingers” 

“Don’t say that” you moan, shaking and panting. 

“Cum” he whispers as you do so, moaning and panting. 

He slurps your juices, licking your clit as you shake your hips and orgasm again. 

“Good girl” he purrs as you feel your kitty twitching.

He wastes no time unzipping his pants and taking off his underwear, you mewl when you saw his huge veiny cock. 

“Time to breed you baby” he whispers, slowly getting his cock inside your pussy. You moan, feeling so full of him. 

He grunts, slowly getting faster “your pussy is so tight” he moans as he fucks you on your desk. 

The squelching noises fill the room, you moan-feeling so full of his cock. 

“Fuck, your pussy is so lewd” he moans as he plows you faster “it’s begging me to breed you, to fill your pussy with my cunt” 

You shudder, your eyes rolled back as he plows your pussy-the noises of flesh against flesh slapping fills the room. 

You shake your hips, feeling close. 

He grunts “don’t be so loud darling” he said, “as desirable it is to get found out fucking the teacher, you wouldn’t want to be fired, do you?” 

You moan as he plows you harder “wanna cum” you moan. 

He grunts as he plows you faster and harder, hitting your spot “fuck, you wanna be a mommy sweetheart? Being full of my cum? You don’t have to do any work” he moans as he fucks you. 

“Please…breed me” you moan. 

He grunts as he spews jets of his cum inside you, you moan-feeling so full. 

You both panted, you feel his cunt dripping from your pussy. 

He writes down his number on a piece of paper after he fixes his attire. 

“Call me” he smirks before he left. 

[nachtai-ish]

ouch.

terry richmond x black!female reader

plot: use your words

triggers: non-sexual pain, reader is unable to verbalize at times, reproductive pains, mentions of menstruation, use of the n-word, characters have my flippant sense of humor.

a/n: not a slightly smutty drabble in the middle of a work day. this is not edited. it comes from personal experience. i just had a thought of trying to put down in words what i go through personally.

your back arches, curving around his warm splayed hand. he’s giving you what you asked for. No mercy. You can hear his balls slapping, you can hear your bed creaking.

1 thrust.

2 thrust.

3 thrust.

4…and oh god.

“Ah.” You start, your hands on his shoulders clenching but also pushing. You can feel it. It’s big, it’s strong and it’s coming fast. You push a little more but he just chuckles, still panting in your ear, still thrusting.

“oh nah, you asked for this.” He says, slightly twangier because barriers had been lifted once he was 8 inches deep. “take this shit. Take it baby. Fuuck.” He buries his head in your neck, somehow going faster, deeper.

You were squeezing him now, both your hands and your pussy. Clenching on him so tight because whatever was coming next was going to throw you. He was too deep or it just felt too good. It was just hitting too good.

It was trouble.

“Terry please…” You didn’t know how to verbalize it. How to tell him that you needed him to stop, and if he kept hitting you in that particular place, at that particular pace that you might- “FUCK!”

And you could feel his arrogant smirk as you fluttered around him, your pussy signaling that he was hitting all the right spots. “Oh I know….” He said as you begged. You didn’t know whether or not you were begging for him to stop or to ram you through the wall.

 “You better come all over this dick.” He licked up the side of your neck. “Fuck that’s right squeeze me baby. You love it.”

You couldn’t control it even if you wanted to. You were so sensitive that even if he pulled out, you would probably cum. “Terry…fuck I’m about to cum!!” You wailed out.

And cum you did.

It was magical…at first.

Strong, so strong it’s like it rushed up to your head and back down to your toes. Your body arched up to his, and he held you through it. You couldn’t breathe so your moan got stuck somewhere in the air. He was mumbling the nastiest things to you as he shot his seed inside of you, your clenching getting him off.

….and when it wasn’t magical, it fucking hurt.

You pushed him off of you with whatever strength you had left. Hunching over like someone had kicked you, you had three point five seconds to calm your abdomen down before it went into a full spasm.

“Fuck. No No.” You groaned as the aftershocks of the orgasm twitched through your abdomen.

“What the fuck.” Terry said standing up from the bed in all his naked, semi erect glory. “Shit baby, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He touched your shoulder but you shook him off, trying to focus on not getting a fucking cramp.

How do explain to the man you’re fucking that…oh yeah sometimes when I have a fucking orgasm, I also have debilitating cramps.

You breathed through the last tingles, and when your stomach stopped jerking as if it wanted to cramp you were able to speak again. As blank face as you could mustered, you adjusted yourself so you were laying on a pillow. “I’m okay. Sorry about that. I’m good.”

And Terry? Who was looking at you like you had six heads and five nipples? Oh, He wasn’t having that.

“You’re good? Girl, what the fuck was that? You pushed me off you like I had…” He stopped, standing up quickly. He looked back at you, eyes wide with fear. “Did I miss a signal? Shit. Were you trying to push me off for real? Shit baby, did I –“ Now holding your cheeks examining you for harm.

You shook your head, almost laughing, “No, no Ter. Its nothing like that. You didn’t hurt me. Not on purpose. It wasn’t your fault at all. My stupid body-” You sighed, sitting against your headboard. “I just…sometimes like when I’m ovulating or close to my cycle, I get cramps after I have a really strong orgasm. It just happens sometimes. I usually take ibuprofen before I know we’re going to have sex but…”

Terry rolled his neck nodding with a rolling smile like he was a little ashamed of how he had tossed you over his shoulder once you opened the door when he told you he was outside, “Yeah, sorry about that. I mean…it your fault kind of. Nobody told you to answer the door like that.”

“Nigga it’s a night shirt. It’s got kissy faces on it.”

“It turns me on.”

He slid back into your bed, easing you into his arms. His hand hovered over your stomach just for a moment, before sliding against it. He rubbed in soft, gentle circles. “How you feeling now?”

“I’m okay. Weird thing about them, it’s like –“ You made a gesture like a roller coaster. “Like I orgasm, the orgasm is fucking great and then it’s like I’m not orgasming anymore. I’m spasming, and I can only control the spasm so much before it becomes a full-blown cramp. But if I can control them, it subsides and I’m fine. Like nothing happened. I’m fine…stop looking at me like that.”

“Has this happened with me before and you didn’t tell me?”

Silence.

“I’m going to throw you off this bed-"

“So first you give me a cramp inducing orgasm, and now you are going to throw me off the bed. Sounds abusive to me.” You smirked, and laughed as he shoved you a little.

“Stop. For real, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Cause the orgasm was good?” You sighed when you felt his look. “…it’s embarrassing. I shouldn’t have to warn someone that hey I might get a cramp if you give me a strong enough orgasm btw.”

“It’s not embarrassing. If you would have told me, I could have slowed down. Let you ease into that shit or something. Let you take a break. Hell stopped if we had to. You shouldn’t have to suffer just because I like making you cum.”

“But I wanna cum.”

He kissed you. “And I want to make you cum but I don’t want you to have a cramp. So, let’s figure out what works… if you’re up for it.”

You rolled your eyes. Of course, you were up for it. You positioned yourself on your knees and elbows, your back slightly arched. You looked back at him grinning.

“Didn’t you just… See…” He could barely keep the grin off his face. “We’re going to need a ‘you’re going to give me a cramp’ safe word if you’re going to do shit like this.”

He was palming your ass before you could open your mouth, hand drifting to adjust your arch just how he liked it.

You smirked.

“…let’s go with Pedialyte.”

[qwimblenorrisstan]

His Promise | Russell Adler x Bell

Summary: Adler takes advantage of Bell while he’s under the influence of drugs of the MK-ULTRA agenda, and their relationship spirals to the point of codependency on touch.

Word Count: ~ 1.8k

Warnings: trauma, torture, noncon, dubcon, shame, guilt, brainwashing, major character death, gun, shooting, tying down, handjob, thigh riding, toxic relationship, I wrote this while listening to mitski for an hour that’s warning enough

A/N: this is so fucked up but it was in my head shoutout to @unmotivatedartistry for inspiration+ideas, hope y’all enjoy…..? (you wont you will just cry there is no comfort I’m sorry)

Bell didn’t remember the first time it had happened, or Adler didn’t seem to think he had, at least.

His eyes had cracked themselves open, the sterile overhead light making its own personal mission to stab him in the eyes with its bright rays. Everything had been blurry, spinning almost but just not quite, Adler’s face above him.

Something solid had been beneath him. He was lying down. Metal. It was cold.

Initially, he’d panicked, trying to sit up, anything, sounds blurring together like potatoes being mashed in his ears, cotton balls stuffed into his chest cavity until he could feel his heart beating where his brain should’ve been. His lungs had shoved in and out, a machine he didn’t have control over anymore, not with whatever had been done to him.

His eyes hurt. His head hurt. There was rope somewhere, but a soothing hand brushed over the red marks left behind by it as it was slipped off.

“Easy, Bell.”

He knew that voice.

No, you don’t.

Yes, you do.

Adler, his master.

Adler, his enemy.

Adler, who took the ropes off from his burning skin with a deceiving gentleness that made Bell almost sick to his stomach. He nearly preferred the pain, yanking his wrists away just for that satisfactory burning sensation. He watched Adler’s face change a bit in expression, blurry, maybe from the tears gathering in Bell’s waterline.

It felt like he was being waterboarded and pumped full of a sensation he didn’t know if he liked at the same time. His head wasn’t the only thing throbbing.

And maybe it was the way Adler’s hands gently stroked up and down his chest, gently applying pressure to keep him down, under. Maybe it was the gleam behind those dark sunglasses he’d come to familiarize, but it was hot.

His insides turned into a hot mix of honey and lava as his organs melted and stuck themselves back together again, reforming into a disgusting mass of the thing he was now, the creature undeserving of the man above him. It was selfish. He was a selfish, greedy thing, and he knew it, to want more of this.

This touch.

He didn’t know what he wanted from it, why he wanted it, where he wanted it. He felt something hot and wet slide down his cheek as his chest heaved with every cobweb-covered breath that came out of his tortured soul.

“You don’t know what you want, do you?”

His good master, always so mindful of him. Knowing what he needed.

Always so mindful.

A palm that was a mix of ice and fire slid down Bell’s body as he tried to crane his neck to look up, thighs tensing and relaxing as he didn’t have control over his actions. Everything was blurry, people were talking, the room was silent, and he didn’t know who he was but he knew what he was supposed to do.

He had a job to do.

Was this part of it? Letting Adler’s hand unbutton his pants, slid the zipper down tantalizingly slow. Bell squirmed away and squirmed towards it. He didn’t know.

“Just let me do this, Bell. You’ll feel better. I promise.”

He promised.

And as Bell’s boxers were pushed to the side, throbbing cock gently drawn out of his pants, he believed that promised, trusted it, held onto it like a lifeline between the Black Sea that surrounded him and threatened to overtake him.

A body shudder shook him to the core as the older man wrapped his calloused fingers around his cock, dripping with want, dripping with a need that he wasn’t sure was his own, wasn’t sure was from his body.

Every muscle tensed as Adler dragged his hand up and down, up and down up and down up and down up and down up and down, a torturous cycle that made Bell’s tongue shatter into pieces and reform again as a hiccup came out, then more as tears slipped out.

He wanted this.

Right?

His thighs tensed and hips bucked up, though Adler’s other arm came to hold him down, keeping his weak body against the table. A hiccup turned into the pitiful sound of a kitten mewling, to a strangled whimper. If anyone else overheard, they’d think Bell was in pain.

Maybe he was. He couldn’t tell.

But then a twist, a pull, and a twist again, and something boiling was worming its way into his stomach and tunneling down down down like a drill, straight to the molten center, letting it all spill out and flood as he sobbed, begging for something he wanted, he’d wanted this, he’d been begging for it practically, honestly.

And as the molten liquid overflowed and spilled from Bell’s cock, a hand still snug, squeezing, the chains were officially wrapped around his neck and he was trapped, and he knew it, and he’d asked for this.

He’d wanted this.

And Bell had remembered, through the haze, the confusion, the fear.

Then started the slow buildup.

Bell had always been his dog, and it would be cruel to deny your dog a treat for performing so well for you, wouldn’t it? He tried so hard, after all. Begging for attention, a morsel, a scrap, a crumb that would go unnoticed by even a crow, just for something to anchor onto.

He had gotten his wish.

Every target taken down well, he’d gotten a,

“Good, Bell.”

“Like that, Bell.”

“Hm. Damn, Bell.”

Every bit of praise was holed up within his heart, or the hole where his heart was supposed to be, where he supposed something else lived now, a ball and a chain that was for his best.

A promise.

The little words had turned to gestures, a pat to the back, a squeeze of the hip, a nod, a touch to his chest, a pat to his thigh, maybe a graze over his crotch if he was lucky.

Oh, but Bell had done so well, hadn’t he?

He’d outdone himself on this mission.

He was begging for it, really.

“I’m proud of you, Bell.”

Park and Lazar weren’t here.

The words made him freeze. Pride. Something Adler hadn’t ever mentioned before.

He turned to look at him, a suspicious look in his eye, something akin to curiosity almost, wondering if this was real, if he wasn’t being toyed with like usual.

Adler met his eyes. He chuckled, low and raspy, the kind that Bell liked to hear.

He sat on a chair, patting his thigh, legs spread open in a casual manspread that seemed to be his usual.

“Come here, Bell. I think you deserve a treat.”

The words had him perking up almost instantly, trotting over to his side, easing onto his lap while being mindful of his weight, the muscular, broad thing he was.

He looked up expectantly. Adler looked down at him, something almost close to a fondness for him there, one of his hands reaching up to almost rub at a spot behind his ear through the mask like one would pet a dog.

It was demeaning in a way that Bell knew he deserved, deep down. A creature that only Adler would try to take on, take under his wing, train, feed, and use like Bell was meant to be.

“You’ve been good for me. Do you think so, Bell?”

It was hard not to nod eagerly, craving that attention, that affection, that touch that made him want to rip his skin off but also left him coming back for more each night. Every handprint seared into his skin and left the brand of Bell’s desires, of the shame he was forced to wear and kept going back despite everything.

He promised.

Adler’s hands went to Bell’s hips, slowly shifting Bell to straddle one of Adler’s muscular thighs, Bell’s heavy dick pressing against his pants already just at the thought of any reward, of any affection, a hint of love.

“Go on,”

Adler urged, a hint of something like amusement in his raspy voice, pushing Bell’s hips forward. The friction burned and itched but not enough to make him stop, not enough for Bell to stop rocking his hips against Adler’s leg. Every little muscle and strain felt like a slice of heaven amidst a wildfire of emotions.

Something seized his body, something not his own.

He couldn’t help it, the overwhelming rush of need, the way his legs twitched and body spasmed, arms enclosing around Adler and squeezing to hold him close. Bell’s head went against Adler’s chest, between his pecs, still rutting against him.

Oh god, it burned.

But god, it felt so good.

Those tears came again, like a flood he couldn’t control, like his soul was being split apart again like the Red Sea and Adler was holding the staff, every demand shattering him to pieces as he was reformed meticulously into what he was wanted to be by them.

The water broke, levees shattering as the tears slid down, eyes downcast yet still glancing up at his deity, his idol, needing the hint of affection as he cried into Adler’s chest, shaking, legs clenching hard around Adler’s leg, lungs shaking with whimpers and a hurricane that threatened to devastate everything in him.

A hot summer followed by a winter storm, melting, freezing, melting, freezing, until he saw it amidst his blurred vision and the voices and the people and sounds and the stars in the southern sky,

“There we go, good boy, Bell—“

He wasn’t sure what sounds came out of him. His eyes were open and shut and rolled back all at once, mouth ajar as his vocal cords vibrated, cock straining in his pants, bursting, muscles all clenched and holding onto Adler like the god that he was in Bell’s eyes.

Adler had gently patted his hair through the mask, stroking his back with an undeservingly gentle touch, whispering things into his ear. This was his job. His duty. He liked it. He had to.

Never again did they have such an intimate moment, until Bell was staring down the barrel of a gun, a red door, and Perseus flooding his mind as it was said to him for the last time.

“You were so good, Bell.”

A flash. A bang. A shot thrown away into his heart, or where his heart would’ve been, where it had been carved away syringe by syringe and replaced with a promise.

You’ll feel better. I promise.

As war-torn hands cradled his bleeding, pale face, mask ripped off, Bell didn’t know whether that promise had been fulfilled or not.

And as he took in his final breath, he found that in the end, maybe feeling nothing was better.

(im sorry)

[tonycries]

Give Me Tough Love

Synopsis. What happens when your boyfriend just so happens to be mad at you? Well, your poor pússy might just know the answer.

Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Geto x Reader, Toji x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, brat-taming, angry séx, oral (male + female receiving), víbrators (Nanami’s), manhandling, unprotected, spanking (Sukuna’s), thigh-riding, intercrural, mentions of Higuruma and Shiu, cúmplay, bunch of heinous stuff idek, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 4.2k

A/N. Smh I’m sick, try not to catch my virtual cold.

♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - Dirty mouth? He’ll fix it.

“The fuck did you just say to me?” he spits, Toji’s hand tightening around your throat, pathetic little gurgles going straight to his cock. “Because I know you aren’t talking back to me like a lil’ slut unless you want to be treated like one.”

“T-Toji m’sorry- mpfh-” Greedily taking in the way your your mouth drops into a soft little oh! as he grazes his fat tip across your lips, glossing your lips so fucking filthily with his precum, all pretty and dripping down to your chin. Hot and angry, and at perfect eye-level for you.

 Hand moving up to pry your swollen mouth open, “You’re only sorry cuz yer gonna get what you’ve been askin’ for, doll.” 

You’d been extra mouthy with him today, all sass and snipey comments like you just wanted this to happen. And it only took one offhand remark about how Shiu probably lasts longer in bed before Toji’s pushing you onto your knees, hand at your throat, breath hot against your ear. And, well, that smart mouth can do nothing but beg for mercy now.

Toji scoffs, snapping you out of your daze, “Nothin’ to say now, huh?” edging his hips closer “Open wide f’me now, yeah- jus’ like that- m’gonna clean out this dirty lil’ mouth of yours. Hngh-”

And with that Toji’s stuffing himself into your mouth. A raw little grunt leaving the back of his throat as your lips stretch so sinfully around his thick cock, and if he angled his head just right he could see the way your throat was bulging and full of him. “Shit, doll. Look at you struggling to take me.”

And Toji’s so mean - not even easing you into it before he’s thrusting in harsh, quick little strokes into your heavenly mouth. “Hah- Hard to take me all?” he taunts, loving the way you’re choking and gagging all around him. 

Pulling you down on his swollen cock till your nose is pressed against those tufts of black hair at his base. So wet with precum and spit. “Shouldn’t be, no? Ngh- A lil’ slut with such a fucking filthy mouth like you should take me s’easily.”

All he gets in response is a low, wet moan, muffled around his cock. One that goes straight to his twitching balls. Smacking your chin with each thrust, so hard he’s sure it hurts. But he couldn’t give less of a fuck, chuckling, “Heh, forgot you can’t speak with m’dick lodged in your throat, huh?”

And oh Toji almost considers going easy on you at the messy state of your mascara, and the way you bat your lashes tearily up at him. It’s only when you flick your tongue so sluttily underneath his sensitive tip in a way you knew would drive him wild that all thoughts of that go out the window. “So you like this, huh?”

Voice so low and dangerous it makes your cunt clench in- fear? Anticipation? You don’t even know because Toji has his hand wrapped around your throat again, hip stuttering filthily. 

And then it’s like something snaps because Toji’s ruining your pretty face. Abs flexing as he drags your head up and down up and down up and- like some toy. God, he thinks, it’s fucking hard to look at you too - so sloppy with the way precum and spit was dribbling down the corner of your mouth, his dick bulging in and out of your throat. In and out in and out in and- 

“Might let out a few tears, but I know that slutty lil’ cunt of yours has never been wetter.”

Reaching blindly to feel for his phone, he punches in that familiar contact. Cock twitching inside your plushy mouth at the way your eyes widen in surprise. Sputtering around his dick - but you can’t run away, because Toji has a hand firm on your head, pushing you down. Still fucking your pretty lil’ mouth while the line rings once. Twice. 

“Don’t act so suprised, doll. All Shiu and I are gonna do is fuck some manners into you.”

♡ NANAMI KENTO - Karma’s a bitch

“Mhm, yes, Higuruma. I’ve told the supervisor to email me the documents. Oh? In the background?” 

His darkened eyes sweep your figure - wrists tied, soaking through your panties, swollen lips falling into a little oh! at the bullet vibrator buzzing maddeningly in your dripping cunt. All controlled by the man himself, watching you like a hawk from the corner of the bedroom. “Must be the wind.” 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt-

“Kento- please, wan’ cum. Ngh-” you whine pathetically. But it all falls on deaf ears, because Nanami only manspreads further on the armchair, a long finger unhurriedly coming up to signal you to be quiet as he continues on his business call. 

Intensity setting 1.

Oh you could just cry. How did you even get here? 

All you did was send him a few photos in his favorite lingerie while he was at work - who knew that Nanami would end up clocking early, coming straight home to absolutely fucking ruin you for that little stunt that had him sporting a rock-hard boner all through an important meeting. 

“A voice? Ah, yes.” and that snaps you out of your little reverie. You blink at the flash of amusement in Nanami’s eyes as he continues the call. “Yes, a little fight as all couples have. Y’know how it is.”

Intensity setting 2.

You jolt at the stimulation, body jerking up for some - any - friction. “Kento~” you choke, tears clinging to your eyes now. 

But oh where Nanami was usually gentle touches and sweet, sweet love - he was so fucking mean now. Licking his lips at the slick dribbling down your legs so sloppilly, spreading in such an obscene pool on the sheets below. Frustrated tears cling to your lashes - you just wanted to fucking cum. 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say she’s mad at me.”

Intensity setting 3.

No, you were fucking losing your mind. 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt- Blinking tearily at Nanami as his thumb draws quick, relentless little circles on the intensity. The vibrator throbbing against your walls in time with your quivering walls, just grazing that one spot. But purposefully avoiding it so that he could see you fall apart and all desperate. 

He sighs, “I know, I have to make it up to her, right?”

Intensity setting 4.

“You have any ideas, Higuruma? Flowers?” 

“Hngh- Kento- Please, wan’ your cock.” Gritting your teeth so that you won’t just scream or outright demand that Nanami ends the call and makes you cum right now, you settling for low, needy little whimpers of his name. Whiney in just the way you knew he liked. And by the looks of the painfully hard cock straining against his trousers, you knew it was working. 

“Or, chocolates?” 

Maybe it was working too well because Nanami’s amping up his abuse on your cunt. Devouring the way you’re reacting so sensitively to the way he was turning the vibrations up and down. Swollen cock twitching at the wet gasps leaving your mouth, thighs twitching and squeezing together so sluttily to get yourself off. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” you blink away the tears in your eyes to risk a glimpse at the man currently driving you wild. Irritation spiking at the way he was huffing out a laugh, “I could just make her cum hard enough to see stars. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

Intensity setting 5.

Your orgasm takes you by surprise - violent and fast. The last thing you see is the cruel little smirk curling Nanami’s lips before he’s setting the phone down with a quick goodbye. And then it’s all stars behind your eyelids as you finally cum, not even caring if whoever’s on the phone hears the strangled yelp of “Ah! Kento, m’cumming m’- hah-”

And it’s all you can do to ride your high out on the vibrations still stimulating your sore cunt. So sensitive and maddening that you almost miss the metallic clinking of a belt.

Ringing in the heady air, the complete opposite of the voice to suddenly very close against your ear, low and hoarse with desire, “Now, think it’s time for me to make it up to you. Hm, sweetheart?”

♡ GETO SUGURU - Work for it!

“Get off on m’thigh, or you’re not getting off at all.”

Geto’s had enough of the cold shoulder today before he decides you’re getting one too - even when you’re needy and sat so prettily on his lap. It was only fair, right? Which is why he swats away the hand reaching for his aching cock, angry and throbbing in his fist. Twitching in his hand at the adorable little pout playing on your lips, “Nuh uh, bad girls don’t get what they ask for.”

“But Sugu~” you whine, slightly whiny yet not desperate - at least, not yet. “Already said I was sorry-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it for that attitude you were givin’ me earlier, gorgeous.” he cuts you off, leaning back comfortably on the chair. Smirk only widening at the way your eyes were so deliriously locked on the way his fist starts moving in slow, languid little strokes up and down his swollen cock. “Now, y’gonna fuck that pretty lil’ cunt on my thigh or just watch? S’fine f’me either way.”

You huff at the way he was being so mean - letting a beat of silent staredown pass. One. Two. Cunt so achingly wet and dripping all over where you straddled Geto’s muscular thigh.

“Fine.”

You feel so dirty dragging your pussy all over his thigh like some bitch in heat. Your clit pressing down on his skin hard. “Sugu!” you yelp, hands reaching up to play with your sensitive nipples, still rocking your hips sloppily. 

Fuck does he love your little show - and you can see it too. Catching the way his balls squeeze painfully, brows furrowing and locked on the way your folds were spread apart so sluttily. 

“All that talk but look at y’now.” he hums. And Geto knows he’s supposed to be punishing you, but he can’t stop the way he starts bouncing his leg to meet your grinds. “What’ve ya gotta say for yourself now, my lil’ slut?” 

“M’sorry!” you whine, nails digging into his shoulders to steady yourself as he fucks you on his thigh. So hot and messy. His skin glistening in the dim light with all your sweet sweet juices, trailing down to the cushion below and pooling at his heavy balls. And Geto was such a fucking picture - hair falling over his shoulders, bottom lip bitten, cock so long and mouthwateringly hard, flushed your favorite shade of pink at the tip.

Only bouncing his leg faster at your cute lil’ whines, like he was turning you into his slut - hit stupid lil’ slut. And all you can sputter out are strained little “M’sorry m’sorry jus’ lemme touch you. Wanna touch you-”

He cuts you off with a desperate, desperate kiss. A permission. A surrender. And you taste the sin and the satisfied little grin on his lips as you reach for his heavy cock. Drinking in the low hiss at the back of Geto’s throat as you start stroking him in quick, desperate tugs. 

And he lets you. 

Hips bucking to chase the feeling of your soft hand wrapped so deliciously around his throbbing cock. Faster. Your nails delicately tracing the pulsing veins along the side, swirling under his slit because shit you might act like it’s a punishment but you’ve never been wetter. “Fuck this hand was made f’me, you were made f’me.”

Previous anger forgotten - perhaps in some miraculous act of mercy - Geto couldn’t even care less if it was all sloppy, mindless little tugs and grinds, high off of your desperation. In fact, Geto wasn’t any better with the way he was snaking a hand down to draw steady, lazy little circles on your swollen lips.

Whispering against your lips, “Make us cum within the next five seconds or you’re going back to getting off on my thigh and nothing else.” Oh. Not an act of mercy.

♡ CHOSO KAMO - Evil twin

“Sorry-” he’s murmuring into your neck, lifting your leg just a little bit higher to slide his cock messily between your swollen folds. “Ngh- sorry, baby. Fuck.”

Choso can’t even remember why he’s pissed off - or that useless little argument that led to this - but when Choso’s angry, it’s like he flips a switch. Such a silent tease where he’s usually all lingering kisses and everything you could ever want. 

Which is why he’s got you splayed out on your side, angry, red tip kissing your entrance in a way that was so filthy. 

“Cho, jus’ gimme your cock.” You arch your back, rubbing so deliciously against his abs, flexing with the strain to not just plunge into your pretty lil’ cunt right now. “Jus’ want you inside me. Please?” And shit Choso must be really pissed off because he doesn’t waver even at the way you bat your lashes at him, instead resorting to leaning down and kissing that adorable pout off your lips. 

He bites down on your bottom lip, tugging ever-so-slightly as he starts sliding his cock inbetween your pretty thighs. Creating such a sticky mess as he moves in slow, shallow little thrusts - Choso was always so sloppy. And such a fucking tease as he angles his hips to just graze your swollen clit.

You gasp into his open mouth, mewling out a strained lil’ “Ah! W-wait what’re you doi-”

“Fucking getting myself off, what does it look like doll?”

Fuck, he was really mad. But that doesn’t stop you from craning your neck to glare at him - eyes traitorously drinking in his flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, stray strands of dark hair sticking to his forehead while he meets your gaze head-on. Unwavering. 

“Bit rude to get off by yourself, huh?” you scoff, raising a brow at the slow smirk curling his lips. 

“You’d know a lot about being rude, huh?”

You don’t even have the time to react to his sheer audacity because Choso’s snaking down a hand to toy with your swollen clit. Still rocking his hips between your thighs. Loving the way all you can do is buck into his touch and whine so prettily as he rolls the sensitive bud between two long fingers. “But since I’m so fuckin’ nice, you better thank me, baby.”

“Y’like this?” he hums hoarsely, playing with your needy clit. Index circling your hole, just barely dipping in before he’s swiftly moving back to rub delicate patterns on the bud. “Could’ve gotten more if you hadn’t run that pretty lil’ mouth earlier.” 

“B-but I want more.” you’re babbling deliriously, trying to meet his relentless little rhythm on your cunt. Just wishing that he would fuck you like you wanted him to. But no - not yet.

“More? You think you deserve more?”

“Yes!” and it sounds like a sob that goes straight to his cock. “Wan’ more please. Was wrong- ah- I was wrong-”

Choso isn’t even sure if you remember what you two were fighting about, but that doesn’t stop him from having such fun bullying you - high off the power and the way your cunt tries to clench around his fingers. And especially your little surrender. 

“Exactly what I was waitin’ for.”

It’s like something snapped because Choso’s bullying his fingers in between your folds, curling deftly against that one gummy spot he knows will have you letting out such cute lil’ whines. Hitting that spot over and over as he pumps his fingers in and out of your cunt. Letting you soak him in all your sweet juices.

And you’re so sensitive and needy that all that spills from your lips are mewls of, “Oh- hngh- Choso Choso- yes, jus’ like that. Faster.”

Maybe for the first time tonight, Choso listens. Movements getting so sloppy and frantic as he chases your high. And occasionally you get such a delicious taste of his throbbing cock as his hips get erratic, fucking himself on your thighs.

You cum with a strangled gasp of Choso’s name, hips bucking wildly. White-hot pleasure running down your spine, and your blood roaring in your ears. It’s all you can do to milk his fingers the way you would with his cock as you ride out your high. 

But luckily for you, you feel his weeping tip nudging your quivering hole. So heavy, precum mixing with your slick in such a sinful combination.  Breath hot against your ear as he whispers a quiet little, “Actually, m’really fucking not sorry.”

♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - Plaything!

“Fuckin’” he kisses his teeth, hand raising up, up, up - coming down swiftly- Smack! “Brat.”

“Oh- Hngh p-please.” you gasp, big fat tears rolling down your cheeks. Nails digging into his shoulders for some - any - mercy from where you’re sat prettily on his lap, throbbing cock stuffed in your cunt. Hard and aching. Yet still unmoving. 

Thumb drawing lazy little circles on your clit, fast enough to have your thighs quivering on his lap, but slow enough to not give you exactly what you want - he’s been teasing you for hours now.

“P-pleeease.” he mocks, voice so dramatically whiny, swatting your ass again. Sukuna doesn’t even know why he’s fucking pissed off, he just likes seeing you all teary and letting out such cute lil’ whines, trying to eagerly to please him. Is he being a bully? Yeah. Does it make it cock so painfully hard watching you try to grind your pretty pussy down on his cock? Fuck yeah.

Which is why he watches you desperately try to fuck yourself on his cock, and oh how he loves taking in this heavenly sight. Your cunt spread so shamefully, sloppy and wet enough that you’re dripping all over him.  

His messy girl. It almost makes him want to play nice.

Smack! And that has you keening, pressing your sensitive tits harder against his front. “What do you want, brat?”

Your breath hitches, words shaky, “Want your cock, ‘Kuna-”

But the only response you get is a huffed out dark chuckle. Strong arms spreading your legs even further as Sukuna leans leisurely against the headboard. He scoffs, loving the way you were always the cutest when he played mean. “You already have it in your pretty lil’ cunt, want more could you want?”

“W-wan’ you to fuck me,” a hand trailing down to massage his heavy balls, moving your hips in slutty circles to meet his, milking him inside you. “Wan’ you to fill me up with your cum till m’dumb. Till everyone’s gonna know- Ah- ple-”

Oh how he loved all your dirty little tricks. “Hm, ya really were desperate for my cock, huh?” he grits out, jaw clenched and eyes locked on the way your dripping cunt was swallowing him up so deliciously. Like you were trying to milk something delicious out of him. “Squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight. Ya really that cock-hungry, brat?”

Smack! Speeding up his movements on your clit, your pathetic little sob rings in Sukuna’s ears and goes all the way down to his twitching dick. Massaging your plushy walls just right.

That makes you mewl and buck wildly, slurring out, “Yes! Wan’ed so bad. Wanted to be split a-apart hngh- on yer cock n’ filled to the brim.” 

Fuck, Sukuna bites his lower lip, do you even have any idea what you’re saying?

He doubts it - and he doesn’t give a fuck because before you know it, your hands are pinned behind your back, and Sukuna’s fucking up into you in one, harsh thrust. 

“Said you wan’ my cock, n’ you’re gonna get it brat.”

Messy and desperate as you’re being split apart by his massive cock, starting to ram into you with wreckless abandon. And you can do nothing but take it because Sukuna’s holding you still, arching you impossibly deeper into him.

“Kuna- mm ngh-”

“So cockdrunk that you can’t even speak, huh?” he’s high off of the way your words are a strangled mess. Such a pity you couldn’t do anything else either - with the way he was holding you still. Like some fucktoy from the depths of his treasury. Grip bruising on your arms, only being able to let out such pathetic lil’ ah! ah! ah! against his ear each time his cock hits your bruised cervix. 

“This what my little slut wanted?” His hips are erratic now, fucking any and every thought out of your mind. Hungry gaze appreciatively taking in the way your head was lolling against his shoulder, so cock-drunk and delirious already. “Now, don’t act so fucked out, brat. We’re only getting started.”

Well, he didn’t say he was going to be nice. Now, did he?

♡ GOJO SATORU - Candy for a bad day

“Had a bad day.” It’s all that announces Gojo’s arrival. 

Startled, you whirl his head to catch that an uncharacteristic little sigh, he’s pulling his blindfold down haphazardly, raising his eyes to meet yours and oh-

Fuck, you weren’t going to make it out alive.

And Gojo wasn’t sure whether he would either with the way he was immediately slamming the front door shut, lips searing on yours as he shoves you against the adjacent wall with a soft thud! 

“S-Satoru, what the fuck?” you sputter, head spinning because he was here and then kneeling in front of you so fast you think he might’ve teleported there. Hand groping every inch of you he could reach, thumbing over your hardened nipples. Drawing little circles on your hips as he looks at you through heavy, half-lidded eyes.

You try to talk back some semblance of sanity into him, “Satoru, what happ-”

“Shut up. Those annoying old fuckers always fuckin’ piss me off. Dunno why you fuckin’ made me attend that meeting.” 

Oh. That’s what happened. 

Heaving in a shaky gasp, you let him all but rip off your skirt. Flinging them to God-knows-where with the audacity of a man that would buy you ten new ones to replace it. Gojo’s mouth falls into a soft little oh! at the heavenly sight of your already-soaked panties.  

“Swear m’gonna purple hollow them all one day.” he murmurs into your pretty pussy, tongue darting out to draw lazy patterns along your slit. “Gonna have ‘em begging for their lives.”

Words muffled around the flimsy fabric - ones he rips clean off your hips with one hand. Not even letting you flinch at the cool air before Gojo’s pooling your sweet juices on his fingertips. Staring right in your eyes while he pops them into your mouth, sucking them clean and glistening with saliva in the dim light. 

“Oh.” Eyes rolling to the back of his at the taste of your sweet lil’ cunt. “You always taste s’fucking perfect f’me. Can’t believe you’ve been fucking holdin’ out on me.”

And maybe Gojo loses his patience - maybe his sanity - because one taste, and he’s hooked. Diving face-first into your clothed cunt, breathing in your scent so fucking lewdly.

“F-fuck, Toru-” you whisper breathlessly, gripping those soft white locks for some stability. The only reply you get is Gojo licking long, languid stripes up your swollen folds. Your slick glossing his ruby lips, trailing down his chin. “It feels s’good.”

And he’s so uncharacteristically messy - making out with your sloppy pussy like it’s his last meal. All pure desperation, lips puckering so prettily around your swollen clit as he sucks on it harshly. Rolling his tongue over and over and-

“Hate that you made me go. They drive me crazy, y’know.” he slurs lowly into your sensitive cunt. Vibrations sending white-hot pleasure running up your spine. “Makes me wanna wish I could stay home with you, eating this cute lil’ cunt out all day.” 

“Wha- what nonsense, Toru.”

“Your cunt is addictive, pretty.”

You barely even notice the way that he’s the one holding you up, throwing a leg over his shoulder, looping and arm around your waist to pull you deeper onto this tongue. Close. So close. “Hngh- Toru-”

“Close?” he murmurs, muffled. “Can feel y’clenching around m’tongue, y’know. How am I supposed to tonguefuck my pretty girl if she’s sucking the soul outta me?”

He was such a little tease. Becoming as frantic and sloppy as you - dripping all over the hardwood floor with a maddening tap! tap! tap!

And despite the way he was devouring you - licking all over your pussy, tongue dipping in and out of your slutty hole - Gojo still finds it in himself to run his mouth. Babbling about how he’s gonna destroy the elders all while you’re in shambles above him. 

“Hah- Toru, shit I’m close. M’gonna-”

“Give it to me, my girl. Wanna taste y’on my tongue.”

And then you’re cumming. Stars behind your eyes and Gojo’s tongue fucking you through your high as you grind down on his pretty face. Dragging your dripping cunt all over till it’s so messy that it makes your cheeks burn. 

But Gojo doesn’t mind - of course, he doesn’t. In fact, his glossy lips only turn up into a slow, sly smirk as he stands up slowly from the ground.

“C’mon, gotta punish you proper now, princess.”

A/N. Plagiarism not authorized.

[devil-in-hiding]

On The Run Part 1

The Barn

mdni

cw: violent behavior, suggestive themes, i will get better at this i swear

It’s a downpour tonight. The roof overhead rattles with the force of the winds outside, keeping you awake. Your eyes drift towards the window periodically, watching the lightening illuminate the night sky, thunder rolling closer and closer as the wind hails. Your four loyal, massive Tibetan Mastiffs lay around your bed, dead to the storm raging outside. You’d normally have them out in the barn, but with how terrible it’s coming down you would have felt terrible.

But now you lie awake, worry in the pit of your stomach. Some of the goats had just given birth, and with this storm you knew the kids had to be distressed, and their bleats often agitated the horses.

You absentmindedly reach down to run a hand through Dixon’s fur, who lets out a pleased huff, nuzzling your palm. You try to let the beat of rain lure you to sleep, eyes finally feeling heavy as your breathing evens out.

But then you hear it, over the raging of the storm you can still hear your stallion, Sebastian, neighing, and then the pound of his hoofs against his stalls, and you're flying out of your bed.

Nothing spooks your stallion, absolutely nothing.

You race down the stairs in just your nightgown, rushing to pull on your boots, no socks, as Dixon, Grimes, Judy and Maggie come bounding after you. You throw open the door, the screen slamming against the house from the wind but you pay no mind, running towards the barn, barely catching yourself from slipping in the mud.

The closer you get, the louder you can hear all your herd. Your hearts pounding harder than the rain when you reach the barn doors, and you can hear the dogs barking behind you as you reach to yank open the double doors

Locked.

Your barn is never locked.

From the inside.

“Hello?!” You yell, slamming your palms against the wood, guilt wracking your body when you hear something scurry away on the other side.

“What are you doing in there?” You scream, shaking the handles with all your might, but they hold strong, and after a harsh yank, your hand slips, sending you flying into the mud.

You can hear what can only be described as chaos in the barn, and tears prick your eyes as you crawl forward, banging your fists against the doors.

“PLEASE! Please don’t hurt my animals! They’re already scared! Please- AH!” You scream as the door flies open, sending you face first into the barn floor.

You barely register the blood dripping from your hands as you scramble to stand up, taking in the scene.

The mares were going wild, bucking and kicking the doors of their stalls while Sebastian raged, having busted his door down, prancing infront of his ladies protectively.

Your goats were huddled in a group on the corner, the kids tucked between their bodies and the sheep standing in front of them, shaking so badly their wool was trembling. The rest of the stock is scattered, hiding in various corners of the barn.

You whistle, which immediately catches Sebastian’s attention, huffing and puffing.

“I’m here! It’s okay, ma is here!” You hush them, slowly walking towards the stallion with your hand out, palm up.

He neighs, tossing his head, leaning down to sniff your hand, when he stops, and suddenly a new sound reaches your ears.

Dixon and Grimes are growling out a warning.

Before you can even blink, there’s a hand over your mouth. Your gasp is muffled at the pressure of cold steel at your neck, an arm wrapping around your chest pulling you into a firm, solid figure.

“Not. A. Sound.” A gruff voice barks in your ear, and your blood runs cold.

“Lock the doors back.” The man orders, and a sinking feeling overcomes you when you hear a new set of footsteps. You stumble as you’re jerked back, Dixon barking as you start to thrash, kicking your feet, but the grip around you tightens.

“Fuckin- Knock it off!” He growls, pressing what you can only guess is your carving knife painfully against your throat and Grimes lets out a guttural sounding bark before lunging, only to yelp when a foot shoves him back, and you thrash harder, attempting to nip at this man’s hand.

“Stop you little fuckin-SHIT!” He bellows as your teeth sink into his palm, not releasing until you taste his blood splash over your teeth, and then you’re on the ground.

“Little bitch!”

“Don’t touch my fucking animals.” You spit, turning to stare up at the intruder, just to be met with a ski mask and cold eyes. You can’t help but freeze, the carving knife glinting in the low light of the barn.

He’s quick, and you try to stumble to your feet, but you're once more in his grasp. You go for a punch, but he catches your wrist easily, pinning your arm behind your back with one hand and yanking your forward with the other, pinning you against him, and the knife is at your throat again.

“Let’s try this again.” He says between clenched teeth, tightening his grip till you whimper.

“Ghost. Lighten up.” A voice pipes up, raspy and stern with a commanding tone. The masked man, Ghost, rolls his eyes, but loosens the hold he has on your wrist.

“Who else lives here?” He questions, and it feels as though a bucket of cold water has been dumped over you.

“No one…” You whisper, squeezing your eyes shut when his grip tightens once more. “Don’t bullshit us. Who else lives on this land with you?!” He’s in your face, making you open your eyes, tears blurring your vision.

“It’s just me I swear!” You sob, feeling the tip of the knife digging into your skin. “I swear to god it’s just me, you can go check the house-“

The pressure of the knife is gone, and the shock of your bare knees hitting the barn floors barely phases you as Dixon and Grimes dart to your side, whining softly as they nudge your hands with their heads.

“Think she’s telling the truth?” A new voice speaks up, a thick Scottish accent ringing in your ears as you try to put distance between you and the four, you are finally able to count, men standing in the middle of your barn.

“Explains the massive mutts.” Ghost grunts, glancing at the four mastiffs, who you push behind you, shielding them, trying not to let your fear show more than it already has.

“They aren’t mutts.” You hiss, Judy nuzzling her giant head into your back as you shuffle them back, away from these men.

You hold your head high, but your lip can’t help but tremble when all their eyes turn to you.

“You sure there’s no one else in that great big house?” The older man with scruffy facial hair asks with a tilt of his head, and a spark of agitation flares in your chest. Why did they want to know so badly? if they were going to…

If they were going to kill you, surely they would have done it by now, right?

“I swear on my life.” You plead, voice cracking. You’re horrified when you realize your nightgown has been soaked through this whole time, noticing the way the one with the mohawk, the Scot, keeps eyeing your bosom. You look away, cheeks burning as fresh tears prick your eyes.

“Soap, Gaz. You two go check the house. Report back to me, I want a moment with her.” The unnamed man ordered.

Mohawk and a dark skinned man nodded, heading out of the barn. Ghost passes one of them the carving knife, and your fist curl in your lap.

“What do I do Price?” Ghost asks, and the man, Price, waves a hand, eyes trained on you. “Search the surrounding area, look for anyone hiding on the property.”

“Understood.”

And then you were alone. The barn has settled, most of your animals having made their way to the farthest wall behind you. He approaches you slowly, cautiously eyeing Dixon who raises up, baring his teeth, but you click your tongue, and he steps back immediately, sitting at your side like a statue as the others guard the flock.

You feel a puff of air breath against your head, and you can’t help the wet laugh that bubbles out when you realize Sebastian is standing guard over you.

“Seems you’ve got yourself quite the protection.”

He muses, eyes bouncing between the animals.

“They were abandoned when I found this place.” You confess, a slight tremble to your voice as you watch Price crouch in front of you. He’s quiet for a moment, eyes flickering over your form and you wrap your arms around your middle.

“If my men are walking into a trap, whoever is there will be killed.” He says simply, tone almost bored and you feel your face pale.

“They’re not! This is my land! Mine!” You insist, frustrated tears falling freely as you flex your fingers, muscles tense.

“Tiny little bird like you, all by herself?” Ghost scoffs as he returns, and you feel your ears burn.

“What did you find?” Price asks him over his shoulders.

“Can hardly see shit in this rain but I found no one. There’s a truck around back but the engine seems shot.” He shrugs, eyes peering at you through that ski mask and you avert your gaze.

The doors open against, the other two rushing in, soaked to the bone.

“The house is clear sir. Only one room looks lived in, two guest rooms down the hall on the upper level and a small library on the ground level. Gaz found a shotgun by the front door.” The Scot, Soap, you gather, reports back to Price.

“I told you. It’s just me out here.” You mutter, and this time Ghost is crouching in front of you, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at him.

“You hiding from something little bird?” He asks, cocking his head to the side

“You’re the ones breaking into my barn and scaring my animals!” You snap, trying to get out of his grip, but he only holds tighter.

“You’re a little fighter aren’t you?” You see his eyes crinkle, and you're shocked this man even knows how to smile under that mask.

He releases you, standing up and stepping back to stand with the other three men, who still loom over you. You feel like a lamb being sent to the slaughter house, and you bury one of your hands in Dixon’s thick fur to ground yourself.

“Please-“ You start, voice shaking, and you feel a tear slip down your cheek.

“I don’t have much, there’s maybe three thousand dollars in the safe in my closet. I’ll give you the code just…” Your voice trails off, a sob slipping past your lips and Dixon whines, low and sad as he places his giant head in your lap.

“Please don’t hurt us. D-don’t hurt my animals- I won’t even call the cops, it would take the nearest deputy three hours to even reach my house.” You beg, exhaustion and nerves taking over as your shoulders slump, trembling with your quiet sobs.

You see Price’s boots approach you, and he tilts your chin up, and you flinch when he brushes a tear away with his thumb.

“Stop all these tears pretty. We don’t want to hurt you or your little farm.” He coos down at you. Confusion swirls in your head, making you dizzy as another sob can’t help but slip out, Price cupping your cheeks, shushing you softly as he wipes your cheeks.

“I don’t understand…” You whisper, searching this strange, terrifying man’s face for any sign of deceit, but he just grins at you.

“You told us the truth. Very good.” It sounds almost like praise the way he whispers it to you, and you whimper, shame filling your stomach. You look away from him, taking a shuddering breath as you struggle to compose yourself.

“Let’s get you back inside hm? Can’t have you catching a cold.” He tsks, and before you can argue, you’re being lifted into his arms, tucked against his chest. You try to struggle, but the adrenaline has worn off, confusion left in its wake as these strange men usher the herd into their correct pens, Soap barley escaping one of the Roosters pecking at him in defiance, before pausing.

“I don’t think I want to mess with this guy.” Gaz mutters, the three of them staring at Sebastian, who stares back, as though daring them to try and corral him.

“He.. He’ll go back in his stall once it’s quiet… You scared them…” You mutter, tired as you give in, resting your head against the strong chest you’re pressed against, and you feel Price’s grip tighten.

“You’re freezing sweetheart, let’s get you out of these wet clothes.” He murmers, and your heart skips.

“I can do that myself.” You hiss, staring up at him with narrowed eyes, despite the fact you can feel your cheeks burning.

He just laughs.

[chuluoyi]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 (𝐔𝐍)𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋

- sylus x reader

master and servant. man and his right hand woman. you and sylus are labeled many things, but does love exist in many labels of your relationship?

genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—angst, fluff, unrequited love, explicit smut, fwb, jealousy, hurt/comfort, description of major injury, blood loss, gore, assassin!reader (not l&ds mc), spoilers! takes place throughout long-awaited revelry

note: my very first love and deepspace fic! :') w.c 5.2k ! i have a severe brainrot omg

Everyone knows of your relationship with Sylus.

The leader of Onychinus and his notorious lady assassin, you two strike fear into his foes and allies alike. You are as deadly as you are beautiful, and that's more or less why he keeps you around.

What everyone doesn't know, however... is that behind closed doors, you too share his wealth and his bed.

“I don't mind to spend the whole night with you,” he’d whisper in your ear seductively at nights, deft and veiny hands roaming your body all over. He often made you ride on top of him, dark burgundy eyes hazed with lust, knowing full well that you desired the very same goal he did.

And you’d respond his hunger with the same fervor, crashing your lips into his, your tongues intertwining, your hips moving vigorously against him.

“Ahh... ah!” Before you knew it, his cock—thick and long in size—slid inside you in such a snug fit, making you throw your head back and dig your sharp nails into his skin.

“Keep me going with your voice, kitten.” Sylus growled, eyeing your wobbling lips and tightly-pressed eyes as he sank even deeper inside you. “Yeah, just like that...”

Sylus always began roughly, seemingly not minding your breathless moans and wishes, and you liked him that way too—

“Is this... all you've got?” you panted in a hoarse voice, sweat lining your neck and forehead, the coil in your belly tightened so deliciously each time he thrusted into you. “Surely... y-you can do better...”

“Ha,” he gave a low snort, his red eyes blazing as he grabbed your bum and squeezed it, making you gasp. “Careful what you wish for... sweetie.”

And then your vision literally tilted upside down—Sylus gladly flipped your position so he could see you even better. This way, he also had even better access to you, intertwining your hand with his, spreading your legs wide so he could rut into you.

“—!” Breath was knocked out of your lungs as immeasurable pleasure washed over you, crashing and receding in an instant. You almost screamed as your back arched.

He broke into a satisfied smirk. “Let it out,” he murmured against your neck, biting gently into your skin, voice muffled. “You never hold back with me, do you, hmm? So, don’t start now.”

“You b-bastard...” you looked up at him with a breathless smile, knowing how close you were to losing your wits.

He simply made your nights worth remember. His allure was undeniable, with a voice that was naturally sultry. And his hands... fuck, they did heaven's work.

It didn't take you long to finally reach your climax, and once you did, your moans were the nastiest all night as you continuously lined his back with scratches.

You could feel how he was chasing his own orgasm all the while, before pulling out right at the last minute and made a mess on your belly, falling beside you.

“Tired?” Sylus’ chest rumbled with laughter as you laid sprawled there in a haze. His eyes narrowed at the sight of your burning cheeks. “I really like this look on your face right now.”

You rolled your eyes, catching your breath and shivered. “I bet you tell that to all other women you manage to lure to your bed.”

“How presumptuous.” He sent you a sour scowl. “I have a high standard— you should consider yourself lucky.”

Well, you do. Holding back a smile, you changed the topic. “I’m cold. Clean me up already.”

“Now, now… what a spoiled little thing you are…” Sylus chuckled, his voice deep and low, yet wrapping his arms around you nonetheless, hoisting you up.

Nights of passion. Mutually beneficial relationship. Nothing more and less.

No strings attached.

This is thrilling. Intimacy without commitment is more than enough to spice your checkered life. After all, what could be better and more rewarding than fucking the hottest man in N109 Zone and getting away with it?

At least, you thought so.

. . .

“Damn, you’re going to make me sore…” you grumbled, letting out a deep sigh as you sank into the sheets after he had cleaned you up, still basking in the afterglow and ready to drift off to sleep. “Ahh...”

Sylus’ lips curved into a wry smile as he watched you make yourself comfortable on his bed, slipping on his black shirt. “Well, I’m just that good, and you did ask for it.”

“Are you going out?” you asked in a small voice, teetering between sleep and wakefulness as you noticed him taking out his favorite gun. “It’s midnight.”

“Luke and Kieran said she has arrived.” Sylus said in low voice, not even sparing you a look. “After all, she has gone through all that trouble to come here, it is only right that I greet her myself.”

The woman. Sylus had told you several times, how a woman with Aether Core and powerful Resonance Evol would eventually come to N109 Zone. And that when the time came, he would make her resonate with him.

A part of you didn’t really know what to feel about this vague plan of his. “Will you bring her here too?”

“I’ll have her stay here until we have reached resonance,” he responded casually while shrugging on his coat.

Sylus valued others depending on their worth. He said it so himself—he isn't a philanthropist. He saw potential in your evol—the Speech Manipulation—which is why he rescued you three years ago, even after you had swung a blade to his throat.

This time must be the same. You played with the edges of your hair. “Well, consider me jealous then. Seems like I’ll have a rival soon.”

Your quip finally caught his attention, as he finally turned to you, one side of his mouth upturned.

“Ha.” Sylus strolled over to where you lay on the bed and placed a hand under your chin, letting out a throaty chuckle. “Is there even anyone brave enough to go against you?”

You shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “We shall see about that.”

Little did you know, the coming of this new girl would be the start of the undoing of your mutually beneficial relationship.

You would've expected the woman bearing Aether Core inside her to be way more interesting than that clueless, weak and easily spooked hunter from Linkon City.

But your and Sylus' definitions of interesting clearly differed though, as you caught him smiling after he pulled the most outrageous stunt on himself— having her shoot him right in the heart.

“She is funny,” he said to himself, almost snickering even as you wiped the blood off his toned body. “She was shaking so much the moment I pulled the trigger.”

“Is that your only finding—” you snapped as you wrapped the bandage around his bare chest, fuming. “—after shooting yourself just to mess with her?”

Luke and Kieran told you how he had used his Evol to pull the hunter girl onto his lap, then handed her a gun and made her shoot him. You couldn't believe it at first, until the sight of Sylus staggering to his bedroom, his shirt bloodied and clutching his chest made you almost scream in horror.

“Is that really necessary?” you scowled, tightening the bandage with more force than needed. “Or are you just trying to get her attention?”

Sylus’ sharp gaze settled on you then, seemingly not taking your comment well.

“What’s got you so worked up about this, hmm?” he asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips as he observed your cross expression. “Last I checked, we agreed not to get involved in each other’s personal affairs.”

Personal affairs, he said? Everything you two had done had long past breached all personal boundaries.

But the fact remains that you two are nothing more than—

“Fine.” You tied the bandage abruptly and about to storm off, making no effort to conceal your ire. You couldn’t say you were worried or that you hated seeing blood smeared across him. That was never in the agreement.

Until you felt a hard tug on your arm—

“And where does the angry kitty think she is going, hmm?”

Before you could discern it, your back was pressed against the wall—your left arm pinned beside your head, with Sylus filling your view.

His sculpted abs were right in front of you for the taking, his scent permeated the air, and his unsettling swirls of crimson eyes had you completely captivated.

“Have I ever told you that you look beautiful when you’re angry?” Sylus laughed as he leaned in, gripping your chin with his other hand. “If I didn’t know you were more than capable of slitting my throat in my sleep, I’d want you to look at me like this every day.”

It struck you how your heart raced wildly under his intense gaze. With his perfect face so close, the only sound that seemed to be most prominent was the pounding of your own heartbeat.

“What’s wrong? We’ve been closer than this,” Sylus taunted with a wide grin, his breath warm against your ear as he pressed his body against yours. “What’s making you so nervous?”

If you knew anything about Sylus, it was that he took pleasure in seeing you squirm in his hold. You glared daggers at him. “I hate you.”

“How lovely.”

“You’re infuriating,” you spat, devoid of any amusement.

He barked a satisfied bout of laugh once again, before releasing your chin. However, to your surprise, that very same hand groped your chest roughly—

“Then perhaps...” he hummed, a wicked glint in his red eyes, whispering to you with sultry voice right before he pulled you into him and devour your lips in heat: “You can help to fix me, sweetie.”

His kisses were hot as his tongue and hands made his mark on your body. Pressed against his bare skin, you gripped his strong, broad shoulders as he lifted your legs to his waist.

As always, he managed to dissolve all your lingering thoughts with lust. You just never knew one day you would finally reach the last straw though.

. . .

"Are you going out again tonight?" you muttered, tracing your fingers along his abs as you lay in his arms, still a bit giddy after your passionate session.

"No, I'm sleepy," he replied quickly, his voice low as he pulled you closer and closed his eyes. "Go to sleep already, kitten."

"I can't sleep."

"Poor you. I can though."

You quirked a frown at him. "You're so annoying these days."

"Oh?" Sylus cracked his eyes open, a smirk on his lips. "If you find me so disagreeable, you can always make me obey you, no?"

Your speech manipulation could make people do your bidding and it was a pretty useful talent. Apart from the first day you met Sylus three years ago in the wasteland of N109 Zone, you had never tried using it on him again.

"I won't, you idiot." You sighed and turned away, your back facing him. The idea of bending him to your will somehow didn't sit right with you. It was against your conscience now.

"Why are you facing away? It's freezing," he grumbled almost in a petulant voice. You nearly rolled your eyes, until you felt his strong arms wrap around your middle from behind.

"Why are you hugging me? We’re not usually this touchy after sex."

"I'm telling you, I'm cold, and you're my heat pillow."

"You're so damn insufferable..."

Despite your sharp retort, a smile found its way to your face. Moments like this were rare, and when he was the one seeking you, you couldn't help these butterflies in your stomach. Still...

You two are not in love, dammit. Sometimes it confused you a great deal. What is love anyway?

“Caw, caw, caw!”

“Mephisto, shush.”

Sylus’ robotic pet crow had surprisingly taken a liking to you shortly after you began living in the base. He obeyed your commands just as he did with his owner. The same couldn’t be said for Miss Hunter though, as Mephisto seemed to have a strong dislike for her.

You were idling at the living room with the crow when you realized how close it was to dawn.

“Luke, Kieran,” you called to the twins, who were bickering over a crate of oranges, frowning. “Where did Sylus go?”

Both stopped and looked at you, and Kieran blurted out, “Boss? Oh, he went out with Miss Hunter!”

You supposed you shouldn’t be surprised, but you were nonetheless. “And he still hasn’t come back?”

“Ah, yeah... but I think they just went on a short errand. He’s probably back or already on his way?” Luke mused, and you clicked your tongue.

It irritated you, it gnawed at you—how Sylus had been spending so much time with that hunter these days. He was trying to make her resonate with him, but still, the way you saw it, he was going through his playbook—

Just as he had done when he pursued you.

Calling her “kitten”, “sweetie”... everything he did with her seemed like a replay of the first year you spent in this place.

Deep down, perhaps you had hoped that, in some way, Sylus would see you as you saw him. Love might be out of reach in your bleak existences, but you at least wished he would consider you an irreplaceable presence.

You were petty, and you knew it.

“Mephisto,” you whispered to the cooing crow as it turned to you pliantly. “Go find and bother her, okay? Don’t let her out of your sight,” you added, letting the bird fly away on your command.

Deciding to rest in his room, you left the living room with a sense of exhaustion. You had stayed up for Sylus on a whim, as he had promised to share his plans for the upcoming auction soon. However, sleeping at dawn was giving you frequent headaches, and the habit was wearing on you.

You took a bath and then headed to his bedroom, and you would have never guessed what scene you'd walk into—

Sylus, in his bathrobe, and that girl… nestled against his chest on his bed. The very same bed where you two made out just the other night.

“Y/N?” Sylus looked at you over the girl’s shoulder, and you were frozen on the spot, feeling an indescribable rush of emotions washing over you.

In the next moment, the hunter girl scrambled away from him in panic, her face flushed with shame. “I-it’s not what it looks like! I swear! Sylus— I was just trying to find his brooch and—!”

In that instant, something inside you turned ice-cold. Her frantic explanations—none of it registered to you. The fact that he let her into his bed was enough for you.

You weren’t sure if Sylus noticed, but your eyes darkened, your fists clenched, and a storm raged within your chest.

“Sorry for intruding,” you said frostily, cutting her off and casting a contemptuous glance at both of them before turning on your heel and slamming the door shut.

It was no use, you finally realized. In this twisted relationship you two shared, there could never be anything more than hot sex and flirtations.

Somehow it hurt more deeply than you expected, as though your heart were being scorched. Yet, you couldn’t even find the tears to cry—as you weren't allowed to do so.

Sylus noticed the change in you immediately.

You vanished from the base and returned in the evening, not sparing him even a look and he could tell then that you had come back a different woman.

And it was the part he hated the most. These days, he couldn't read you at all.

"Luke and Kieran, keep an eye on her tonight," he instructed his two underlings as the two of them were getting ready.

"Who? Miss Hunter?" Luke questioned.

"Or the missus?" Kieran supplied.

Both of them liked you as well. Unlike him, you’d spend your free time indulging their nonsense, and over time, they even gave you that friendly moniker.

They didn't really know the nature of your physical relationship though. Or at least, didn't really know fully.

"The latter," Sylus gruffly replied, and then he went to the hunter girl to prepare her as well.

He had a justified explanation. If you had asked him, he would tell you nothing had happened. Your ire was better than silence, definitely a hundred times better than this.

But why didn't you come to him?

And why does he want you to come and demand him for an explanation?

However, tonight was the auction for the Aether Core. He had to finish this first before he could get a word with you later.

At least that was what Sylus had thought... until he saw you at the auction venue.

You were stunning in that black cocktail dress. He didn’t know when you had your hair done, but you looked as if you had spent the entire day preparing for this occasion despite having barely two hours after coming back. You were definitely a head-turner, drawing the attention of many vermin as you navigated the ballroom with grace and everlasting smile.

And it grated at him. Severely. Sylus's eyes were locked on each lowlife hell-bent on taking his life and desperate to get into your pants, knowing he would end them all tonight.

...and as if it wasn't enough, he then saw you entertaining one of them with that sort of smile you used to reserve for him.

. . .

"Mm-hm, really?"

"Yes, I've heard they are inside the safe number 209."

You coyly smirked, looking the man with mask in front of you, whom you had led to a deserted hallway, who had been complying and smiling at each and every question of yours.

"Thank you then." You flashed him your best smile, about to go back to the main hall.

"And uh, miss," he suddenly turned to you in a flurry. "I believe I haven't gotten your name—"

You chuckled, facing him again. "Oh, you want to know my name?"

"Very much so!"

This was like bread and butter to you. You effortlessly wrapped an arm around the man's neck, standing on your tiptoes, and whispered in his ear:

"Halt."

He went rigid the moment the command left your lips, and you could feel his panic rising as you pulled away.

"W-what happened—!?" he thrashed against the invisible hold manifested by your Evol in pure panic, to no avail, whereas you regarded at him with a cold smile.

"What a shame. I planned to let you be, but then you gave me the perfect opportunity." You maintained your eerie smile as you pulled out a thin, needle-like blade from the hem of your dress. "You have been a great help. Thank you."

With that, you slit his throat, and blood splattered onto the ground in a continuous pool as he jerked, collapsing like a broken statue.

You felt nothing at the sight, but you knew you weren't alone as you felt his presence.

"You started the party without me?" Sylus' deep voice resonated through the hall. "Didn't know you have that much of bloodlust this early, sweetie."

The clench of your heart was still there, even when you had decided to discard all your lingering feelings for this man. Still, you put on the perfect poker face when you met his eyes.

"I want this to be over and done with quick. I'm exhausted already."

Sylus eyed you calmly, yet somehow it felt as if the depths of those red eyes were trying to assess your soul. "Your actions said otherwise. Is flirting with him necessary?"

"You're one to talk, Boss," you scoffed at the last word. "As long as it entertains me, why isn't it?"

Sylus didn't deign you with an answer, and you decided to pour more oil into it.

"Strictly professional, no?" You lifted your chin defiantly. "Last I checked, we were not supposed to meddle in personal affairs—"

You didn't realize it until he did, because the next thing you knew, his right eye suddenly glowed with that terrifying shade of crimson. "You—!"

He has seen it all. In the three years since he took you in, Sylus had never used his Aether Core-infused right eye on you to peek into your mind. The first and only time it had happened was when he restrained you from attacking him on the day you first met.

This was the second time. And now, he knows. Of your petty feelings, of your deepest, truest desire.

At first, Sylus remained silent, but then his eyes narrowed at you, low voice booming through the hall.

"Jealousy is unbecoming on you, Y/N."

And after all that he knew, that was the only thing he could come up with?

You felt shame wash over you. You wanted to run from him. This was too much because he most definitely didn’t reciprocate your feelings, did he?

"I don't want to hear it," you resolved, the space around you felt constricting all of a sudden. You walked past him, about to break into a sprint—

Sylus immediately caught a hold of your arm though, sending a glare at you. "You—"

"It ends here," you blurted in heat. "I don't want it anymore. We're through, Sylus."

"Listen to me!"

He snarled at you, and it was the very first time he did so. However, you paid him no mind and pulled out your ace card, staring hard into his eyes. You could feel the start of his black and red mist, but your Evol was faster—

"Move."

His hold on you loosened, and he jerked back several foot away from the impact. You kept your manipulation on him, avoiding his fury-blazed eyes, bolting away before he could catch you.

. . .

The night escalated so much worse than you had imagined. Explosions and a sudden appearance of an Arbiterwings threw the whole auction into chaos.

You were fighting off the sudden wave of wanderers alone, relying solely on your blade since your voice was too hoarse to use your Evol. When one of them struck you and sent you crashing into a wall, you just sat there in a daze.

It was exhausting. Usually, Sylus would be by your side, covering your back at the very least. He wouldn't let a single scratch get to you. His black and red mist of doom would dominate the battlefield, offering you protection while at it.

You loved that bastard. It was so beyond stupid. Why did you have to ruin everything by having these feelings? If your heart was gone, would these feelings go with it too?

You got your answer sooner than you thought.

White-hot pain engulfed you when something impaled you right in the chest. The searing agony was mind-blinding, the only thing you could discern was your own wails.

No, the feelings didn’t go. Even as you teetered on the brink of death, that damned love only evolved into many regrets.

And in your final moments, you could've sworn you felt the exact moment your heart stopped beating.

"Oh my god! Luke! She is here!"

"Kieran...! Is she alive?!"

"So much blood—! Luke, call Boss! Call Boss here!"

"Boss! We found her!"

"What do we do?! Shit! It's right... in her heart..."

"What!? Boss! S-she is...! Oh lord..."

You had a dream, and it was of your first meeting with Sylus.

Three years ago, in the wasteland of N109 Zone, you were a mere scavenger until he found you. You had thought he was a threat much like others in this lawless city, so you unwittingly showcased your Evol before him in defense, until he pinned you down on the hard ground, crimson eyes holding you in place.

"I'm giving you two options: go with me and live, or die here in vain," he had told you then, a smug smile on his face. "I assure you, so long as you're still useful to me, you won't have to worry about food or roof above your head ever again."

What kind of homeless person would refuse that tempting offer?

Since you followed him, Sylus had never been untrue to his word. He made good of his words, idly engaged you in his circle, showered you with gifts, and at one point—

"You're... trying to tempt me, aren't you?" he growled amidst kisses, pinning you on his desk. Apparently, seeing you up close and personal every day in his home had worn down his patience. He was just a man, after all.

You wickedly giggled, even breathless, cradling both sides of his face and admiring those ruby eyes of his. "What if... I am?"

"Then consider me tempted, little kitten," he chuckled, his baritone voice casting a spell over you. "Remember though, curiosity can kill most cats."

Thus began your thrilling relationship, and you knew you would gladly stay with him just to have a taste of that heaven. And you knew too, he wouldn't cast you easily this way.

And of course, so long as you are useful to him, that is.

When you came to, you felt warm, and your position was so comfortable that you were almost lulled back to sleep.

At first, it didn't register to you where you were. The scene before you was so familiar, but you were so lethargic that you were late to recognize it.

"Awake?"

Sylus' bedroom. The realization dawned on you as that deep, low voice questioned you flatly. You jerked instinctively, looking up at him as he came into view, holding a glass of wine.

He was still the same. Even with you out of commission, he would still indulge himself with his wine. Somehow you couldn't really pinpoint what you should feel about it.

However, Sylus then did the thing you didn't expect him to. He went back to his pantry to get a glass of water, and then he came to your side to prop you up.

"Drink," he commanded, positioning the glass on your chapped lips. You complied and did so, feeling relief for your throat. Once you were finished, he gently laid you back on the bed and tucked you in, never once taking his eyes off you.

"How are you feeling?"

"Have been better," you quipped dryly. Then it dawned on you that he had never been this gentle with you before. He was showing care, which confirmed one theory you had about him: Sylus could be considerate when he chose to be.

The very fact that you ended back here didn't really faze you much, because in the end, you belonged to him out of all people. Just one thing that still didn't make sense in your mind: "What did you do?"

His burgundy eyes squared at you. "What?"

"There’s no way I could've survived that," you mumbled, trying to gauge his reaction. "You must’ve done something."

“Ha, when it comes to these things, you’re sharp,” Sylus said with a light scoff, and you frowned.

"Answer me."

"Aether Core," he supplied. "It was now in you, repairing your coronary system."

"You..." you were rendered speechless. "You—what? You infused my heart with a Protocore...?"

Just like the one in his eye, he had implanted you with that dangerous fragment that was from something as horrific as a Wanderer. The very thought made your breath hitch.

"Stay calm," he commanded, his hand found yours when he noticed your horrified expression, squeezing it as if to provide some sort of reassurance. "You'll be fine."

"H-how... why..."

"That was your only chance, or you would’ve been dead." Sylus' tone was harsher now, his jaw set firmly. "I keep telling you not to rush in carelessly, and yet you did. Did you even know how bad your state was when I found you? No, you didn't."

The way he spoke made you feel as though you were being blamed, and overwhelmed with your frustration, you retorted sharply, "No one asked you to save me."

Awkward silence lingered for a good one minute after your jab. You turned away from him, feeling conflicted, because you knew you should be grateful that he did so, because it meant the Aether Core inside you now was the one he had been looking for in that auction.

He gave it up to save you.

Still, it confused you.

“If I died...” you began, bitterness creeping into your voice. “Then it just means I’m no longer useful to you. You always discard things that no longer serve your purpose.”

You turned back to him, meeting his impassive gaze. “So why? Did you pity me after discovering my feelings? Is that why?”

There are many labels in your relationship. Master and servant. Onychinus leader and his right-hand woman. But you were also his lover, even unsaid. Was that fact that did it? Or a mere charity for the weak, you?

Suddenly, Sylus placed his palm over your chest, right where your heartbeat pulsed. You stiffened, bracing for some sort of impact.

But no, it wasn’t anything sensual like he usually did. His hand—large and warm—was a comforting presence, resting on your chest and feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.

"Haven't I told you that I never act out of pity?" Sylus' voice was strained but softer than usual, his deep burgundy eyes holding yours. "Do you really need me to spell it out?"

You didn't dare to look away, for the moment of truth was right in front of you.

"My only regret is not being able to pull you back," he said quietly, his tone somber. "I shouldn't have let you get hurt."

Oh. You blinked, taking in his sincere words, something inside you softening and warming at his words.

You had noticed it too. Despite his roguish exterior, he had always looked after you during your time together. It was just that you hadn’t dared to hope for more.

“The naughty little kitten has managed to worm her way into me, it seems,” he chuckled then, flashing you that cocky smile. “So now, she has to be held responsible for her actions.”

His red gaze narrowed as he added. “Moreover, since I have saved your life— you owe it to me not to throw it away so easily. So you can’t rush into danger carelessly again, you hear?”

Those playful remarks were enough to dispel your doubts and insecurities. They answered everything you had been questioning, and knowing it, finally you let out a relieved sigh and exasperated snort. “You shameless bastard...”

And when he leaned in to place a fleeting, innocent kiss on your forehead, you realized that, in his own way, he saw you just as you saw him, even if only a little.

Sylus settled into the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you and letting your head rest on his arm. Tonight, there were no passionate kisses, no steamy foreplay, or dirty talks— just you being alive and well in his embrace.

“How long have I been out?”

“Three weeks, woman. Luke and Kieran keep mourning you everyday.”

“Three weeks?! How did you manage without me for that long?”

Sylus glanced at you, a contented smile on his face as he held you close. “It’s been horrid.”

Neither of you would be caught dead saying “I love you”, and yet, regardless, you knew that right this moment meant so much more.

[dante-mightdie]

I desperately want butcher!simon to take me against the dingy couch in the break room, no sounds but the squeaking of the springs, my muffled moans from his hand covering my mouth, and his deep grunts as he pounds into me from behind.

just a quick little fuck in between customers, and he has to leave mid-fuck to go hand off a package of pre-ordered meat, and scares the ever loving fuck out of the guy who came in to pick it up

okay i’m gonna change this request slightly because I saw a video and it inspired something based on this ask 🌚

(ending updated)

c/w: nsfw content below, implications of non-con (none takes place, delivery driver assumes reader is being attacked by simon but this is not the case at all), reader is fully consenting, reader and simon are married, threats, degradation

the delivery driver had been waiting for a good ten minutes now, wondering where the pretty counter girl was who always gave him the usual package. not even that unsettling brute was there to help him so he did what he thought was the correct thing to do

operating under the assumption that someone may be hurt or in need of assistance, he walked around the counter and into the back of the butcher shop. alongside the somewhat eerie humming of the freezer coolers, all that could be heard was a repeat squeaking sound coming from the back office

but since there were no calls for help or cries of agony, the driver opened the office door as quietly as possible. the cause of the squeaking becomes evident when his eyes land on the couch in the corner of the room, where he finds the pretty counter girl and her frightening beast of a boss

there you lay, pinned against the old sofa by the crushing weight of the butcher. legs spread what seems like impossibly wide to accommodate the brutal snapping of his hips. the driver’s eyes widened at the sight before him, the rough hand clamped over your mouth and the tears slipping down your cheeks leads him to believe he’s walked in on a viscous attack

he hasn’t been spotted yet, leaving him plenty of time to do the heroic thing and rescue you from the awful man who bunched up your skirt around your hips and ravaged you like you were nothing more than one the pieces of meat hanging in the freezer

but before he can, simon slips his hand from your mouth and the driver expects his hearing to become overwhelmed with pleas to stop. however, he’s shocked to hear almost pornographic moans slip from your throat instead. your hands that originally seemed pinned down under simon’s weight are suddenly pawing wherever they can reach

your head turns to catch simon’s lips in a sloppy kiss. tongues clashing, saliva mixing with moans as he whispers nasty things against you,

“fuckin’ slag, grabbin’ m’cock whilst I’m workin’…” he grunts, slamming his hips into you harder. your hands settle on his ass, grabbing handfuls of the meaty flesh as leverage to push his cock deeper into your sobbing cunt

“couldn’t wait, could’ya? didn’t wanna wait for me to take ya to bed like a proper husband should… don’t worry, lovie. gonna give ya what you need…” he continues, looking down to watch where his mean cock stuffs itself inside your pussy. all you can do is respond in drunken babbles of ‘more’, ‘harder’, and begging him to make you cum

the driver soons realises his mistake, ducking out of the door and adjusting his suddenly swelling cock in his trousers before he’s caught by your terrifying husband

~

you come out to serve him about twenty minutes later, still looking as prim and proper as you always do. now the driver can’t help but wonder how many times you’d spoken to him after being split open by your hulking husbands cock. to be honest, he still can’t over the husband bit

before you can open your mouth to speak to him, simon appears behind you, pressed right up against your back but his glare is locked onto the man on the other side of the counter,

“go. I’ve got this one…” he mumbles in your ear before sending you off with a pat to your bottom

the driver can’t help but feel like he’s shit out of luck here. the transaction is awkward, uncomfortable and he really wishes he was dealing with you instead. at least you actually smile at him

he takes the package, ignoring the way simon purposefully tightens his grip when he tries to take it from him, making him struggle. the driver gives him an awkward smile before turning to leave the shop

“oi.” simon calls out to the driver once he’s at the door. he turns around to face the butcher who gives him a look that would make any grown man shit themselves

“if I catch ya trynna look at my bird again, you’ll find yourself behind this counter for different reasons.” he snarls, glowering at the poor man who can only nod his head before darting out the door with no intentions of picking up a delivery from your shop ever again

[catdia]

Lost in a Wild Rune

“Jayce— p-please slow down.” You whined. Throat straining against his hand.

He had you pressed against the wall of his abandoned workshop. Entering you with one thrust of his hips.

You came to his workshop to mourn his memory. Walk around the now ice cold fire pit and touch all those unfinished projects he had laying around.

Instead you found a broken Jayce, longer hair and full beard. Beautiful amber eyes uneasy and intense like never before. Talis hammer distorted with a Gem stone no longer blue.

A short emotion filled reunion. Hands grasping his dirty ruined coat. Nails digging into his clothing to see if this all was real. That he was flesh and bone.

You had so many questions about what and why. Before you could even get them out your mouth he claimed you with a kiss. Stripping you of your bottoms and shoved into a cold wall.

“I missed you so much, baby. I’ve become crazy without you.” He moan into your ear. Teeth sinking into your neck. Marking your skin red.

What happened to the man that used to make love to you so tenderly? The one that would give and give, and never take.

You refuse to believe that the man that was fucking you so hard was your lover.

He was pounding away at your entrance. Leg brace scrapping the outsides of your thighs. Your ass bouncing against his pelvis each time he thrusted into your weeping cunt. Other hand holding your arms behind your back making your wrists hurt.

He was so hairless before. Claiming he liked to be groomed for you. But seeing him shirtless with hair on his chest and a happy trail pointing to his cock made your cunt drool.

Jayce smelled of musk. The hand on your neck calloused by the lack of gloves. He wasn’t the council member you last saw.

He was just a man with the primal urge to fuck. And that made you unbelievably willing.

“Jayce, please, i-it’s too much!” tears were escaping your eyes. Your moans and cries echoed through the workshop walls. As if those walls were mocking you.

“My beautiful girl.”

He growled like an animal, having your velvety walls contract on his shaft was pure heaven. After months of pain and mental strain your skin was a much needed pill.

Balls slapping against your little abused clit deliciously. They were so backed up and heavy. Full of creamy seed. Head of his cock hitting your sweet spot just right. Squirming to get out of his hold, fearing of cumming too quickly. You wanted to savor his lust.

You almost forgot how big he was. Without any prep the shock of having him inside you was great, the burn was mouthwatering.

“How I’ve missed this pussy. Fuck, can’t wait to breed you.” He moaned between hollow breaths.“Should have done it sooner. I need to make you mine, baby.”

You were his the moment you met. Forever and always.

“Make me yours, Jayce. Fuck me full with your fat cock!”

He let go of your arms and neck. You braced yourself on the cold concrete. Palms violently grabbing the flesh of your hips, dragging them to meet the start of his shaft and all the way to the tip.

“Give yourself to me, muñeca—”

He came screaming your name, coating your cervix in white.

“Ohhh, fuck.” Jayce pulled you flat on his chest.

His hands pressing on your lower tummy. The pressure made you see stars, throwing your head back on his shoulder. Arching your back. Jayce captured your lips in a kiss, beard scratchy against your chin.

He made quick work of your clit with his fingers. Slapping her a few times making your body shiver and whine out.

“Jayceeeeee— I’m gonna cum!”

“Cream all over my cock, baby.” You came on his shaft. Body convulsing by the lack of release you haven’t had in months.

“That’s it, that’s it…” Jayce slowly pulled out with a hiss. Spreading your cheeks apart to see his cum dripping out of your swollen lips.

Your legs were like jelly, if it wasn’t for him turning his back against the wall and sliding you down to the floor your knees you have been bleeding.

Jayce wrapped his arms around you. They were more muscular than you remembered. You were all fucked out. Hair in every direction, sweat coating your brow. But this Jayce didn’t care.

He was smelling your body, nuzzling his nose into every crevice of your skin. Licking and tasting you as if you were going to disappear.

A giggle filled Jayce’s ears.

“Your beard is tickling me, baby.”

He smiled like a lunatic. Kissing the back of your hand. “It is? Do you like it?”

“Mmm I love it, Jayce. And the hair too.” You said tracing his jaw with your knuckles.

You missed each other’s joy so much.

You saw the pain in his eyes, one of a massive headache that cannot even be controlled by morphine. The way the lines of his nose scrunched up in discomfort. What happened to your lover?

The hormones of sex and bliss slowly diminishing.

“What happend to you? Why did you leave me alone?” You broke down in his chest. Ugly crying like he has never seen before.

“Sshhh, baby, please don’t cry. I’m right here with you.” Jayce cradled your head in his large palms. Bringing his lips up to your eyes and drinking your tears.

“I don’t even know where to begin…”

“Start with why the Hexcore has tuned into an angry human tissue sample.”

You pushed a strand of hair behind his ears. Massaging the sides of his temple with little pressure. Making him sigh in relief.

His gaze was focused, like the young inventor you saw for the first time in his blown-up apartment.

“Ok. Well, it all happened so fast after the attack—”

[yowumi]

first time with mha men

featuring. izuku m. katsuki b. shoto t. denki k. fumikage t. eijiro k. touya t. hanta s. (aged up 18+)

summary. reader/mha men help lose his/your virginity (f! reader)

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ─── ─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

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izuku midoriya

- it’s his first time, your experienced

- he leans more towards sub, but he can be a soft dom when needed to

- lets you guide him through it

- gets nervous and overstimulated quickly

- moaning mess, gets shy about it at first but you reassure him that you like it and he goes crazy with it, he mumbles, whines and whimpers a lot

- i feel like he would lean more on the girthy side and is average

- he can only hold out for so long so he cums quick but he has the stamina to hold out for 4 or 5 rounds

- gives the best aftercare, bathes with you, cuddles, snacks, anything you want.

“are you sure about this, izuku?” you ask wanting to make sure he’s comfortable. “mhm, please keep going” he says while he’s shaking, you can tell he can’t control it but he can’t help it, he’s never been touched by a woman before. you put your hands around his neck slowly moving them down to his shoulders where you held yourself up as you grinder against his dick, you both have been doing this for a while, feeling each others naked bodies rut against each other. “are you ready for me?” you whisper against his ear. he mumbles lowly while nodding his head, shutting his eyes waiting for it. you plop yourself down on his dick and you lost him. he starts shaking and hid in the crook of your neck as he whined, it all felt like so much. he’s never felt this good in his life, he thought to himself. he felt your tight pussy squeeze around you and he swears he sees stars, “f-fuck, it’s so much y/n…i don’t know if i can hold up much longer..” he mumbles, kissing you rapidly against your neck.

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katsuki bakugou

- it’s your first time, he’s experienced

- he can’t help his rough demeanor and is used to being aggressive so it takes a lot out of him to be gentle but he wants both of you to have a good experience

- he likes being in charge but he’s all about your pleasure, loves fingering you, loves having his tongue inside of you, loves doing anything that will make you feel good

- tries his best to reassure that he won’t hurt you, “i’ll go easy on ya’ don’t gotta worry babe” “i’m gonna take care of you sweet girl”

- grunts, groans, and every now and then he will moan and hear a slight whimper when he cums

- he will be submissive if you make it a challenge like saying “you probably wouldn’t be any good submissive anyways”

- girthy, veiny and a little above average, he’s a chunk of meat

- he’s a good cook so he will cook for you afterwards and watch you fall asleep as you watch a movie together.

he’s already made you cum twice from his fingers and tongue, he gets up licking your juices off your fingers as he leans in to give you kisses on your neck as he lays you on your back. being the only one naked, you start to softly tug and look down at his sweatpants where you can see his noticeable bulge begging to be freed. a small smirk appears on his face as he releases himself from his sweats, seeing his hard cock springing out. you blush at the sight and he teases you, “like what you see?” which only makes you try and hide your face. he presses his tip against your entrance, “you sure about this?” he asks pressing light kisses on your cheeks. you nod but that wasn’t enough for him, “nuh uh, wanna hear it from that pretty mouth of yours” he looks you in your eyes. “yes, want you to take my virginity kats” and he smiles as he enters you, causing both of you to tense up and moan. “fuck, sucking me in so much babe” he waits for you to become comfortable around his length before starting up his thrusts.

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shoto todoroki

- it’s both of your first time

- he doesn’t exactly have a preference, he doesn’t have a high sex drive so he’s okay with whatever you want, he doesn’t particularly know what to do but he trusts you with his body. once you guys get used to having sex more often, he gets comfortable initiating and taking charge.

- he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to make sounds, he’s never watched porn but when you hit certain spots, he will start breathing hard and if you listen closely you can hear a slight moan.

- before you two had sex, you had given him a blow job and the sensation of putting his cock inside your mouth was weird at first but eventually he got used to it and learned to like it as he would involuntarily buck his hips forward to get deeper in your mouth.

- his cock is a bit more on the skinny side but he’s long, longer than katsuki and izuku. with a bright pink tip and pale base.

- he falls asleep after sex, he isn’t aware of aftercare but you both just end up napping afterwards and he will wrap his arm around you in habit.

shotos eyes follow as you trail your fingers down his bare chest as he towers on top of you. his eyes moves down to your bare chest in front of him and you give him a light smile. “do you want to touch them shoto?” you ask and he turns his eyes back at you and a slight blush appeared on his face, “can i put my mouth on your breast?” he asks for permission as you nod petting his hair as he smiles before trailing kisses down your chest before grabbing one and sucking softly on the nipple as he plays with the other one. he doesn’t know what about sucking your tits fascinated him so much but he started to grind his hips down on your clothed panties. after a while of repeating this motion, he lifts his face up and asks, “i want to have sexual intercourse with you, if that’s okay”. you tell him that’s okay and he starts taking off your panties and pulling down his pants after. you grab his dick in your hand and put it in between the lips of your pussy, gliding the tip against your wetness and he starts breathing harder as he grinds his hips down against it, “i want you to put it inside me now” you tell him as you wrap your hands in his hair as he puts his head down to your neck and you press a soft kiss against his cheek. “okay. i’m putting it in now, i promise i’ll go slow”

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denki kaminari

- it’s both of your first times

- it’s chaotic. you both think you know what your doing, you both DO NOT.

- y’all both don’t have a preference, after a while of having sex more often you will both switch roles but the first time is just pure chaos, y’all are both too busy trying to figure it out than actually getting to that

- denki does all of the above, moans, groans, whines, whimpers, barks, you resist the urge to slap him from the childish remarks he makes (he is so brainrotted it isn’t even funny)

- “zoo wee mama, you’re bad as fuck ma” “denki please stop talking”

- his shit is girthy and average, not anything too special, he calls it his lightning rod

- he’s a baby after sex so he demands you do everything for him and baby him because he claims he did all the work like the alpha male he is (he didn’t do shit)

“fuck y/n this feels so good, you’re so tight” he says as he grunts against your neck leaving a small smack on your ass, “denki, that’s my thigh.” you say plainly as he stops and looks down laughing, “oh shit, my fault, i’ll put it in now!” he says leaving a quick kiss on your lips as he makes sure to guide his dick down to try and find your hole “oh i found it!” “that’s my ass denki, we aren’t quite there yet” you roll your eyes at him. he finally finds your pussy and enters himself in slowly, “oh shit this is so much better than your thigh, fuckkkk” he moans as he rolls his eyes back, you feel a shock inside you and let out a small yelp, “DENKI! control your goddamn quirk” you say slapping his arm and he laughs a little, “don’t slap me, i might do it again” he jokes as he kisses your neck. “YOU PERV!”

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eijiro kirishima

- it’s your first time, he’s experienced

- he’s a soft dom, he’s the sweetest in bed for sure, he’s very careful and considerate

- he’s pretty confident with himself and makes noise in bed but sometimes he likes to stay silent so he can listen closely to your moans and admire the way he’s making you feel

- “you’re beautiful y/n, can’t believe i have such a pretty girl”

- he is the BIGGEST, he has a monster dick, it’s huge, longer than any of the boys, he is PACKING, he’s girthy and veiny too.

- he can only cum about 1 or 2 times but he can hold out for a WHILE.

- he’s educated on sex and how to treat a woman from getting advice from his friends, online, he even asked aizawa for advice which only ended up with aizawa saying “just don’t be a dumbass and don’t ask denki for advice for godsake, can i nap in peace now?”

he takes out his dick from his boxers as you stare unashamed at the thing that’s gonna go inside you. you would be scared if it weren’t kirishima going inside you. he’s a sweet and nice boy so you’re sure he will be as gentle as possible. “i hope you aren’t disappointed, it’s okay if you don’t want to do it or anything” he says reassuring you thinking you’re staring at him because it isn’t enough (he’s so dick blind 💔) “no no, it’s perfect kirishima…you’re perfect” you smile as you kiss him. he starts and he puts lube on his dick so it will hopefully be a little easier on you as he slowly enters you as you moan around his chest. kissing and touching his sensitive chest as you play with his nipples and he moans. “i love when you do that, you know” he says burying his head in your neck as you hum against his ear, “i know baby”

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touya todoroki

- it’s his first time, your experienced (based this more on before he became ‘dabi’ in the sense of he is still living with his father and has a lot of anger build up)

- he’s either a MEAN dom or a BRATTY sub (he has a lot of daddy and mommy issues so it depends on the day type shit)

- when he’s mean he will grunt or straight up start laughing mid sex, when he’s bratty he whines and complains.

- “hey ain’t it supposed to be my first time, yet you’re the one acting like a bitch in heat” “atta girl, move that ass for me”

- he was a sexually frustrated teenager so he watched a lot of porn as he would abuse the shit out of his dick, he’s masterbated in front of you a few times and you’ve given him oral but he didn’t want to rush into sex, that was until the day his father didn’t show up and he was filled with anger coming home to you with anger and a hard cock

- has a breeding kink, wants to fill you up any chance he gets, loves seeing you covered in cum

- his cock is long, girthy and fat, his tip is always a redish color from how hard he gets and he has veins running up his shaft.

- uh what is aftercare?

touya walked through the door, eyes red probably from crying beforehand, “touya are you okay? what’s wrong?” you ask concerned from his quiet demeanor. usually he would’ve cried in your arms or angrily rant about what happened but he just stood at the door quietly before finally speaking. “strip.” he said bluntly staring at you in the dark room, “huh?” you asked again wondering if you heard right. “I said…” he walked closer towards you like you were his prey before continuing, “strip for me.” you felt yourself throb as you removed your clothes letting them fall to the floor as he picked you up and turned you on the couch, holding your legs up in a mating press as he removed his abused red cock from his pants, “you’re gonna let me breed you tonight, ain’t that right baby” he said more in a demanding tone than asking permission. you nod and he leaves a slap on your ass, “use your words.” and you moan, “yes touya, want you to breed me, want it so bad” and he lets out a cocky laugh, “yeah, that’s a good fucking girl” he says as he slides his cock into you without warning, thrusting hard as you squeeze around him.

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hanta sero

- your first time, he’s experienced

- he’s a soft dom, he isn’t too hard on you but he likes being in charge but he won’t mind you riding him once you get used to his cock.

- he’s a moaner, likes praising you

- “damn girl, you’ve been hiding this from me all this time?” “don’t get shy on me, i gotcha” “would never hurt my lady” “just a little longer ma”

- he knows you his so once you get used to his cock, he isn’t shy in letting the bakusquad try you out, he knows that you know who you belong to.

- he will massage you (he’s great with his hands) afterwards or help you bathe, he likes taking care of his girl

- he has a skinny cock but it’s LONG and damn does he know how to use it.

- he gives GOOD oral. he loves when you sit on his face.

“goddamn baby, you feel so good” he says as he has his cock stuffed in your hole while thrusting into you as he admires the way you moan for him. “sero, want more please, p-please” you moan out as he stares goes down to your nipple softly biting on your nipple enough for you to moan out and arch your back, “more of what, ma?” he asks as he sucks the skin of your breasts, “put it all in, don’t hold back p-please hanta” you whine as you pull his hair sending sero into a frenzy as he pulls out leaving you confused, “w-wha-“ your words cut off as he slams his cock inside of you fucking you deep as he hits your g spot, “that better baby?” he cockily asks against your ear, nibbling softly.

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[sugarcoatedstarkey]

Rider

Pairings - Rafe Cameron x Female!Reader

Summary- What happens after Rafe flips his bike.

Warnings- unprotected sex, choking, fingering, oral (male receiving), dirty talk. 18+

Watching Rafe speed through the sand on his dirt bike had your insides curling into themselves, your panties soaked and you worried people would be able to tell you were horny. Nibbling on the skin around your thumb and rubbing your thighs together you watched with wide eyes, your heart rattles against your ribcage harshly.

Rafe speeds up behind Maybank causing your nerves to triple as he gets closer to the blonde hair pogue, you know what’s about to happen before it does. Your eyes zone in on his front tire moments before it clips JJ’s back tire. It sends them both into the air, your eyes squeeze shut on instinct, the air in your lungs catching in your throat. Everything feels like it’s going in slow motion around you.

Gasps echo through your ears and you pop your eyes open once more, Rafe lay on the sand in a heap of limbs and motorbike gear, his bike lay half a mile away from his body. He hasn’t moved yet, your instinct is to run and that’s just what you do. You're sprinting across the sand before anyone can stop you, completely oblivious to the other bikes coming towards the two boys on the floor. Your sight is set on Rafe as your legs carry you towards him, he cranes his neck when he hears your name being screamed and his eyes go wide when he realizes you're coming for him. “Y/N!” He shouts, too slow to push himself to stand as a sharp pain jolts his lower back, his eyes darting between the bikes and you in panic.

His own heart is racing now, most likely matching the speed of your own. You're throwing yourself on him before he can stop you and he curls himself around you as the bikes skid by you sending the sand and dust into the air around you. He uses his body to shield you as John B abruptly breaks just before he hits JJ. All Rafe can hear is the sound of his heartbeat as he holds you tighter against his chest, your body hidden by his.

“Baby” you cry into his neck as you cling to him. His arms tighten around you as he feels you shake against him, the sound of you crying is drowned out by the cheers of the crowd. His anger bubbles in his chest at the idea of you getting hurt because he decided to fuck with Maybank. Angry at himself for putting you in danger.

“Hey hey it’s okay, I’m okay” he whispers into your hair, placing a hand behind your head and pressing you further into his neck. He can feel the wetness of your tears on his skin, he pulls the two of you up from the sand and you wrap your legs around his waist. Silence falls between the two of you as he walks away from the crowd, ignoring the calls from Topper. He walks you towards his car and puts you into the passenger seat, clipping the seat belt in. Your chest moves rapidly as you watch him in silence. “Stay here while I get someone to take my bike home” he orders, closing the door before you can argue.

Wiping away your tears you watch him walk over to Kelce, the two of them chat and you see him side glance Rafe’s car and he nods. You sit in silence for a few moments before Rafe turns to stalk back towards the car, your eyes dance down the length of his body. Remembering the butterflies in your belly before he had flipped off the bike, you watch him open his door and slide into the seat. “I’m sorry” you whisper, knowing he’s angry that you had put yourself in danger for him. He reaches over and grips your thigh, turning the ignition on as he pulls out of the car park.

You ride home in silence, his thumb rubbing small circles on your thigh. You chew at the skin around your nail again as you take sideway glances at him in the driver's seat. He’s half man spread in his seat, his jaw tense as he grinds his teeth together. Glasses sitting on the bridge of his perfect nose as he stares ahead, his hand moves every so often around the wheel as the light bounces off his ring into your eye. You're turned on again, squirming in your seat to get comfortable. Rafe dressed in his bike gear always made you hot and bothered. He takes a few sideway glances at you but you stare ahead, trying not to be so obvious. His fingers dig into the flesh of your inner thigh sending goosebumps down your arms, you catch the small smirk on his lips but he says nothing.

As you pull up to his house, he’s rounding the car to your side before you can open and he helps you out. His hand pressed firmly against your lower back as he walks you towards the porch, inserting the key into the lock and opening the door for you. “Rafe” you whisper, unsure if he’s still angry at you. You stand at the threshold waiting for him to turn around to look at you. “Are you mad?”.

“I was… but I have something else on my mind now” he states, lacing his fingers through yours and pulling you towards the living room. “What?” You question, he takes a seat on the couch and pats his lap. You go to take a seat on his thigh but he shakes his head, gripping your hips he maneuvers you so you're straddling him. Your skirt bunches up and he catches sight of your black panties, knowing exactly what ones you're wearing. The ones he had brought you with the little bow on the front. “You were fidgety in the car” he states, his palms rub up the length of your thighs as he stares up at you with a knowing smirk. The small dimple causes your inside to melt again, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “Just worried you were angry”.

He lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head, pushing his hands further up your thigh. The material of your skirt now completely rolled up exposing your panties. “I don’t think that’s why.. I think your horny” and you shake your head in protest “if I slipped a finger into your panties you wouldn’t be wet?” He questions, raising his eyebrows at you. You pull away from him slightly but he pulls you back in, pressing your mound into his belt buckle causing a strangled moan to slip from your lips. “That’s what I thought”.

“I am angry you put yourself in danger, angry that I put you in danger but… I’d rather make you cum than tell you off for being stupid”

“Oh” is all you can manage, your clit throbs as he rocks his hips into you. “What’s got you so turned on baby?” He questions, halting his movements as he waits for your answer. “You”

“Of course… but what exactly?”

“Your outfit.. you on the bike.. before you flipped”

He hums, picking up the rhythm of his rocking again. The cool metal of his belt buckle pressed firmly against your aching clit. Your fingers curl around his shoulders as he plays with you, your mouth dropping open slightly to let out soft moans. “Use me baby… rock those hips and dry hump me” he orders, placing his arms behind his head as he stares up at you. His movements have stopped now and your hips have started to roll against him. “That’s it baby, don’t be quiet. Tell me what you want me to do to you after you make yourself cum on my lap” he says, eyes roaming from his lap to your face. His eyes are full with lust, his chest beats rapidly as he watches you fuck yourself against his lap. “I.. I want you to touch me”

“Yeah baby but where? Where do you want my hands?”

“I want them on my tits… and my pussy, I want your fingers inside of me oh fuck” You cry out, riding his belt buckle harder as your toes curl with pleasure. You can feel that familiar pressure already, your panties soaking through and coating his pants. “I can do that baby.. what else do you want? Hmm?” He questions, his hands have moved back to your thighs. Sliding up the sides until he grasps the flesh of your ass and helps you move your hips against him.

“Your cock!”

“I want your cock.. oh fuck… I need your cock Rafe! I need you to fuck..shit… fuck me, please fuck me!” You're whining and cursing, throwing your head back in ecstasy as your body shakes around him. Your orgasm riddles your body the moment he touches you again. “Oh! Oh yes yes”.

“That’s it baby.. doing such a good fucking job” he praises, pressing a kiss to your throat and then your chest. Your hands move to pull your shirt over your head, Rafe eyes your tits that are enclosed in a black bra. He snaps the clips at your back and pulls the bra down your arms exposing your tits to him. “Please” you beg when his hot breath tickles your chest, his mouth encloses around a nipple. Arching your chest into his mouth more, one of his hands spread across the top of your back as he suckles your breasts. “That feels so good” you whine, rolling your hips into him again. You can feel his hard cock through his pants and you so desperately want it inside of you. “I need you”.

He pulls away from your chest and pulls his own shirt over his head, your fingers run down the length of his chiseled stomach and begin fiddling with his belt, slipping your hand into his pants as he unzips himself. You pull his cock free and fists him tightly, moving your wrist up and down as pre cum coats his tip. “What do you want baby” he grunts as he watches you, eyeing his hard cock, you're slipping from his lap and kneeling between his legs. Taking his cock deep into your mouth, your tongue swirling against the soft skin.

You can feel him throb against your throat as you suck him back, his fingers placed into the back of your hair. He holds you tightly but doesn’t try to take control until he’s pulling you away and gripping you by the throat.

“Sit on my cock” he demands, his hand doesn’t leave your throat as you move back onto him, reaching for his cock you coat him with your juices by running the tip between your folds before pushing down onto him. Synchronized groans slip from your lips as his cock is buried deep inside of you, it almost feels like he’s in your stomach.

He lets you take control again but doesn’t let go of your throat, he pulls you to his lips and devours you as you bounce on him. “Fuck baby.. that’s it.. take what you want” he growls, sucking on your bottom lip. His fingertips press a little harder into your throat, causing the air to come out in shorter breaths. “I- I can’t breath” you whimper, he doesn’t loosen his thought. “Breath, slow baby.. in and out” he says, your fingers wrap around his wrist but you keep bouncing on his cock. Thighs aching with each movement, a thin sheen of sweat coats your body. “That’s it baby.. such a good girl, it feels so much better when your head is just a little dizzy”.

And he’s right, as your eyes go slightly cross eyed and your breaths come out in short puffs, the ache in your belly grows and your hips coming down harder. “Fuck” you cry out, your clit throbs. “Such a good girl.. that’s it baby, I can feel you strangling my cock. Your so fucking wet” he groans, he’s pulling you off his cock and pushing you into the cushions of the couch.

Your ass high in the air, he thrusts himself back into you and grips your hips tightly. “Yes! yes yes” you scream into the couch, arching your back and digging your nails into the material. His palms connect with your ass with a loud smack, his red handprint appearing seconds after, choking on your saliva as he gets you closer and closer to your release. His hand grips your hair tightly as he pushes your face into the couch, crowding your body as he pounds into you. You can feel the beat of his heart on your back and the throbbing of his cock between your walls. “Oh fuck Rafe… I’m gonna cum!” Your warning far too late as your body shakes with pleasure, his fingers toy with your clit causing what seems like an explosion of pleasure to take over your senses and you cry and whimper into the couch. He’s cumming into you moments later, your walls pulsating around his heavy cock. Shooting his cum deep inside of you, grunts of pleasure spill from his lips and his fingers dig deeper into your hips. “Fuck” he groans, loosening his fingers from your hair and hips. He pulls you away from the couch and slips his cock from within you, moving the both of you so you lay on your back.

“Don’t ever put yourself in danger again” he states a few minutes later, your hand pressed to his chest and leg wrapped over his legs. “Don’t you ever do something stupid like that again and I won’t have to put myself in danger”. He chuckles under his breath and kisses your lips.

“You're lucky I could tell you were horny on the way home otherwise this afternoon could have gone a whole other route” he says, craning your neck to look up at him as he stares down at you. “Well I was ready to jump your bones the moment the race finished but you ruined that by doing a flip… maybe you should go for a ride again and I can show you what I was planning on doing after…”

“Yeah?”

“Call Kelce and get your bike”

[artyandink]

libidinal

If Dean could curse every witch on this planet for dosing you and him with an aphrodisiac after ganking them, he would. His entire body was on fire— burning, and his mind was embarrassingly stuck on you. You, your thighs, lips, your ass. It all rattled about in his head like a broken record, and he craved you, craved the relief like crazy.

He knew that you were feeling the same things he was right now, the ache, burn, relentless want that you just couldn’t shake no matter how hard you tried. Ugh, you needed him. Like you’d die if you didn’t have him. Dean felt the same damn way — trust him — like one touch and he’d break the damn best friend code of conduct.

You’d think both of you would have more control of yourselves, considering how you were both hunters who’d faced stuff like vampires and shit. "This is gettin’ on my nerves, sweetheart," he scoffed, eyes fluttering up and down you. You were too hot for this world— and that wasn’t just the pollen talking, but his drugged up mind couldn’t stop.

"Fuck this." he slowly took off his sweat-soaked shirt, looking for signs that you’d jump him. Dean rubbed the sweat off his chest, having no damn right to look that jacked and edible right now, ugh. He can't take all of this crap, including being quarantined in this damn motel room by Sam. It’s for a reason, though.

He groaned, aching, desperate, gesturing for you to keep away so he could resist this damned pollen’s effects. "Oh, m’ gonna kill Sammy if he doesn’t find a cure for this stat." Dean covered his ears, yeah, no. He acted as if covering his ears and blocking out all noise would stop the ache for you, well, it sure didn’t.

Pacing back and forth, he took one look at you— nope, look away, you looked too hot, nope. "Yeah, I’ll kill him." He winced when he got a very R-rated image in his head— he was desperate for you, you, for some relief, mainly sex.

He felt like every second without his hands on your ass was torture— he hoped he wouldn’t go to hell.

“Oh, I’m fine.” You breathed, sarcastic, giving him a look with raised eyebrows. “Just — you know — feeling like my body’s burning alive, I’m sweatin’, my brain hurts.” Your eyes were hungrily searching his bare chest, biting your lip— no, stop, even if you felt on fire and were sweating buckets.

“You’re clearly not,” he retorted. He would’ve found it funny that you were checking him out, but the need was so overwhelming, and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from throwing you onto the nearest surface.

“So… no need to be sarcastic. M’ just trying to control myself.” He muttered under his breath, crossing his arms and keeping the distance between you. “Can’t say the same for you though, sweetheart, ‘cause I can see ya gawkin’.”

“Yeah, just quit it, you look like a five star buffet. A girl can’t help herself when she’s drugged up on an aphrodisiac.” You groaned, dabbing your sweaty-ass neck with a towel, not able to help the way your eyes hungrily drank in his chest. “I’m makin’ do with the view I’ve got while my pussy’s yellin’ at me right now.”

“Christ, darlin’.” He muttered. He felt all fuzzy inside when you said that, he hated how hungry the damn pollen made him for you, for your body. Dean’s eyes darkened, taking in the way you kept looking at him, how you were yearning for him like he was with you. His fingers gripped on the chair he was sitting on, and he leaned forward— he needed to stay on the damn chair.

“And what kinda things is it tellin’ you, hm?” He asked, voice lowering, growling almost. His cock was telling him to go over there, moan in your ear as he thrusted into you, that’s what— but he had to deny himself of such luxurious pleasures. How great.

“To throw away all sense of modern feminism and let you fuck me hard on the floor.” You breathed, moaning softly at getting the words out. “Or letting you bend me over the table. Eat me out on the bed, take me from behind on said bed.” Another desperate moan.

Shit.

Dean almost groaned out loud, damn you. You were going to be the death of him. He was so damn hard right now, and he gripped even tighter on the chair, he would break it if he wasn’t careful.

“Sweet girl, I know you’re not talkin' about feminism when you got your hungry eyes all over me right damn now.” He bit out, clenching his jaw. Dean couldn’t help the fantasies that were running through his mind, especially when you let those moans out.

“I know.” You murmured, nodding, levelling the playing field and taking your shirt off too, leaning back against the bed’s headboard. Shit. Your skin that glistened with sweat, glowing more in the shitty motel light, tits now on display for his hungry-ass eyes. Your head tipped back, eyebrows pinched together tight, lips parted ever so slightly. Shit.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered, eyes drinking in that perfect body of yours like a man who hadn’t had a drop of water in years. He’d seen you in a bikini before and almost lost it, but this view, this view was a sight for sore eyes. One that he was now staring at shamelessly.

His mouth hung agape as his eyes traveled from your chest to your face, he was desperate — all for you. “What’re you gettin’ at?” He asked, voice low and ragged.

“That I’m hot too. A woman can exist with her shirt off.” You scoffed, thighs rubbing together for any friction. C’mon, fuck, you got nothing— guess Dean’s cock was the answer, but not fucking your friend was the first cardinal rule of maintaining a best-friendship. “Oh, I’m gonna kill those witches even if they’re in the afterlife. I—” You let out a small whimper of frustration, the ache building. “God damn.”

“Damn right you’re hot, sweetheart.” he muttered, eyes locked to your thighs, practically drooling— maybe he wasn’t talking about the heat both of you were burning under. Dean’s tongue darted out and wet his dry lips, watching you as you rubbed your thighs against one another for friction. Damn it, it should be him being that friction, if that even made sense— he didn’t know, his brain was sludge. “I know, baby girl, m’ feelin’ what you are, I get it.”

He wanted to reach out and touch you so bad, but he had to get a grip. Sam could come back with a cure— maybe. Could he wait that long? Probably not.

You, however, simply did not have the patience nor the fucks to deal with Sam and his annoying lateness— you needed your best friend, he needed you, you had two holes he could put his dick into — you weren’t doing ass stuff on the first fuck — so it’s a win-win. “Dean, fuck this cure.” You whined, breath hitching as you yanked your sweats down, panties going with, pussy leaking and aching and so very empty. “Can’t wait, I can’t— c’mere. Fuck me, c’mere.”

Ok— yeah— yes, ma’am.

The sight had his eyes getting dark, nearly feral as he quickly stood up from his chair. The chair fell backwards and made a loud thud against the floor, but he couldn’t care less— not when you looked so damn delectable on the bed in front of him. Dean took quick steps towards you, practically ripping off the rest of his shirt.

He kneeled on the bed in front of you, practically pinning you to the bed. He couldn’t help himself. “M’ here, I’m here. Tell me what you want.” He huffed out, hips already bucking against the bed, moaning at the friction as he kissed over your bare tits and up your neck, licking up your neck, sweat on his tongue— yes, it’s disgusting, but he’d ponder on that in retrospect, right now he felt like an animal.

You guided his hand between your legs then kissed him, hotly, hungry, your lips devouring his, hand on the back of his head keeping him there. It was like a dam had broken, your breath harsh and heavy against his lips.

He grunted into the kiss, eyes slipping shut against the onslaught of your lips against his. His hand easily found its way down to you, the second you pushed him where you wanted him. God, his hand ached to be between your thighs.

“M’ here,” he breathed in between hot kisses. “M’ here, sweetheart, I gotcha.” The words were muffled, breathless, as he pushed your thighs apart, finding your wetness, his eyes nearly rolling back into his head. God, he was starved for you, as you were for him, it felt frantic, hazy, like relief that he was finally touching your skin that would go away instantly, as it wasn’t enough. Your scent had his eyes actually rolling back for a second, a pant and a whine leaving his mouth in quick succession as his free hand pushed sweaty hair out of your face, his own spiky from your hand running through it.

He ground his cock against the bed, feeling himself leaking — as were you — and these touches alone honestly had him feeling like he could embarrass himself right here, and come in his pants like a teenager before even getting the chance to fuck you properly.

You nodded against his lips, practically gone and inattentive to anything but him, leaning more of your body weight back against the headboard and pulling — yanking — him with you, panting, desperate. “Need you, baby, please.”

Oh, he needed you too, baby girl.

“Need you too, gorgeous.” he panted, letting you push him around between your legs and wiping sweat off his forehead briefly, wiping that hand on the sheets— shit, that left a pretty dark mark. He bit down on your bottom lip, groaning into the kiss. God, you looked so pretty, so needy and desperate, and you were all for him. He needed to mark you in some way, make you his in every possible way. He needed to.

“You need me inside this pretty pussy, baby?” He asked, his hand already gliding over your slickness, his eyes locked on yours. His fingers pushed inside you, a moan leaving both your mouths as he felt the lack of resistance on your cunt’s part, and how it sucked his fingers in — fuck, you were tight — and he worked your bra off so he could suck and flick his tongue against your nipples one at a time, moaning against the softness of your tits— mmh, that felt so good.

You nodded frantically, cause fuck yeah, moaning, lips still pressed to his as the pressure had you whimpering in relief. “Yes— yes, baby, d-don’t you stop, ok? God, feels so good.”

“I won’t, wasn’t plannin’ on it, baby doll.” he grumbled against your lips. He didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon, not when you felt this good around his fingers, when you sounded so damn pretty.

“Christ, I need you.” His words were nearly a whisper as he pushed down his jeans and boxers. He was so hard, so desperate for you, that he couldn’t hold back anymore. “You ready, baby?” Well, he certainly was, let’s put it that way. He’d been grinding on the bed the whole time he was on top of you.

“So ready.” You nodded, kissing him desperately, hotly again, panting, whimpering, the works. God, you felt like you were on fire, like it wouldn’t stop until you had him— it felt almost primal. Why wouldn’t you be ready, though? You weren’t a woman if you didn’t get soaked for Dean Winchester.

“M’ gonna take care of you, baby girl, I will.” He muttered against your lips, taking deep breaths. The words came out in a near growl and a grunt, he was hungry for you, starved, so he’d let you kiss him breathless, and he’d kiss you back just as fiercely as you.

He needed to give you the relief you needed, the pleasure, the release. He still rubbed at your pussy, all while he continued kissing you, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip.

You moaned against his lips, nails raking down his back, leg hooking over his hip— fuck the cure, fuck Sammy (though the poor guy deserves more credit), you just needed this right now, you felt like you could explode. Spontaneously combust. Lit match to gasoline. “God, don’t wait.”

“I won’t wait. Not anymore.” He grunted as he felt your nails dig into his skin, and your legs wrapped around him. He was so desperate to be inside you, and the sight of you just beneath him, the sounds coming out of your mouth, they just made him throb.

“I got you, I’m gonna take care of you baby doll, m’ gonna take care of you real good.” He panted against your neck, biting down on the skin as he slid into you, his mouth dropping open at the pure relief.

Your head fell back, a long, drawn moan leaving your mouth— you swore it felt like a cooling balm had been slapped on your bodies, or ice cold water. It just felt like a splash of pure relief, and you couldn’t stop chasing it, it felt like euphoria. “Shitfuck.”

“Oh, god,” he groaned, groaned, eyes squeezed shut. He hadn’t felt relief like this in so long, and your moans were like a damn symphony to his ears. He nearly felt like he was in heaven, that you were an angel.

“You’re so perfect — perfect.” He panted against your skin, placing kisses against your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder, as he found a pace. “Feels so good, darlin’, good girl.” It took all the effort in the world for him to not just lose himself and start pounding into you, just to say.

Good girl? You could’ve come right there. Squirted, even.

But no. Your leg hitched higher on his hip, clutching at his shoulder and at the headboard, your forehead pinched, eyes closed as you just felt it, couldn’t stop feeling, desperately letting shameless moans slip past your lips— as if you could control those.

“Yeah, that’s it — give it to me, baby.” he panted, his eyes taking in the sight of you, how you were falling apart. “Take it, take it all, just let me do all the work, yeah, good girl.” One of his hands trailed down your body, to the back of your thigh, holding it up, using it as leverage to push into you.

He wouldn’t last long, he couldn’t. Not with the sounds coming out of your mouth, the way you looked. “You’re so damn pretty when you give it up, baby.”

“Dean,” You couldn’t help but moan, over and over, paired with the occasional shameless “yes”, eventually bringing him in for a hungry, sloppy kiss, feeling the pendant on his necklace cool against your skin.

“Ah—” he groaned against your lips, his kisses almost violent, more teeth than tongue than anything else. God, his name on your pretty lips was sinful, but he wanted to hear it again and again.

His hands continued to touch you everywhere they could, not missing a curve or angle, and just taking in the pure ecstasy of it all. “You look so perfect like this — all for me.” he panted against you, the coolness of the amulet was almost refreshing against his over-heated skin, he’ll had to admit, and seeing it between your tits? God, another bonus.

Ooh, an idea. You used your leg hooked around his waist, plus some hunter training, rolling you both over, immediately gripping the shitty-ass fabric and plush of the pillow so you could begin to move up and down, hitting that angle without missing a beat. “Sh—Shit.”

Oh, oh wow, he had to take a few deep breaths. He didn’t expect you to suddenly roll the two of you over but he certainly wasn’t complaining. You looked so damn perfect on top of him, like a goddamn dream. He gripped onto your hips, helping you move, a moan leaving his lips as you kept up the pace.

“That’s it baby doll, good girl—“ he couldn’t help but babble. “Can’t keep my hands off you.” He panted, staring up at you. “Doing all the work, look at you— I ain’t gonna last, sweetheart, please tell me you’re almost there.”

“M’ almost there.” The sentence came out as a moan, seeing him in his glory, amulet on his chest, all ridges of muscle and soft skin, your other hand gripping the headboard as you moved, assisted by his hands on your hips, calloused pads of his fingers pressing into your skin. “P—Please, baby, a—almost there, so, so close—”

“Just— just come with me, please— please—” He panted, his hands gripping your hips so tight, he knew that he’d leave marks, but he’d deal with it later. Right at that moment, he was just lost in the feeling.

“Come on, give it to me, baby, I wanna see it, wanna feel it.” He was desperate, but a gentleman, he wanted you to reach it first. You were absolutely too gorgeous for words, and he was nearly going feral— his mouth went dry. “Good girl, good girl, good girl, c’mon — oh, c’mon—”

The coil in your stomach snapped as you came, pure, unbridled euphoria and uninhibited ecstasy, your eyes rolling back, hips stuttering and pressing into his hands as your thighs shook, but you kept on to get him there. “O-Oh, baby, c-c’mon, Dean, please— please—”

Sweet mother of god.

Your voice, your movements, your face, it all just pushed him over that final edge, and a loud moan tore out of his throat as he rode it out. “God, baby doll, god—” was all he could manage.

He didn’t even realise his eyes fluttered shut. He was panting heavily, his chest rising and falling, the amulet resting gently between his pectorals. “Oh god, baby girl, c’mere— come here.” He muttered, hands gripping your hips, pulling you down. He just wanted to feel you against him— wait, what? The burn wasn’t going, it just wasn’t.

“Dean.” You whined, letting out a frustrated moan. “S’wasn’t enough, I can still feel it. Still feel it, baby.” You panted, keeping yourself up. Well, of course this thing wasn’t a one-and-done. You already broke all the cardinal rules of friendship without compunction, but now you had to do it again? Wow. Great going.

“I know sweetheart, I know.” He breathed, eyes opening, and looking up at you, the corners of his lips slightly turned up. He could feel it too, it was like something was missing, and he didn’t know what it was.

He pulled you down, and held you against his chest as he caught his breath. One of his hands moved to the side of your face, and he gently guided you into a soft kiss, the other hand moving down and squeezing your ass. “God, I need you so goddamn much.”

“Mhmm. Need you too.” You whined, your kisses becoming more insistent, needier— ok, don’t blame you, it seems to affect women more. “Can you— need you t’ take over, Dean.”

A small smirk appeared on his lips as you began to become more needy. “Don’t mind if I do, sweetheart.” He growled against your lips. He pushed you off of him, and rolled the two of you over, so you were now beneath him again, and his body was above yours.

“You want me to take over, huh?” He questioned, his lips moving to your neck, leaving nips and open-mouthed kisses over the skin. “You want me to take care of you?” His hips started snapping against you, a groan leaving his lips, cause oh, Jesus.

Woah, ok, you could get used to this. Especially with how you moaned, nodding desperately, leaving red marks on his shoulders and arms, his amulet touching the valley of your now bouncing tits with every thrust again, head tipping back as his cock brushed your cervix, hearing his grunts and pants in your ear mixed with your moans.

He couldn’t help the smirk that stayed on his lips as you clawed at his skin. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You like it when I take care of you?” He questioned, his mouth against your neck, his hips snapping against you, desperate to hear the pretty sounds leaving your lips.

“Tell me how much you like it, baby girl, go on.” His words were punctuated by a sharp bite to your shoulder, the other hand gripping your hip.

“Love it, Dean, fuck.” You gasped, your eyes rolling back, the knot in your stomach coming faster this time, scratching at his hips, the hot-ass dip in his back— anything you could reach, really, you weren’t picky.

“That’s it baby girl, there you go—“ he panted, his hips thrusting against yours, just pushing you closer and closer, his mouth against your skin still, leaving open-mouthed kisses and harsh bites.

The sounds you were making were just pushing him closer and closer, he was just desperate for you, and he couldn’t control the words that blurted out of his mouth. “God, you look so damn perfect baby, so damn pretty, so much better than I ever dreamed—“ Sure, he just revealed that he’d thought about this, but he still put your legs over his shoulders, leaning forward, splitting you in half and thrusting into you.

The new angle made your mouth fall open in a perfect ‘o’, and the feeling just overwhelmed your brain, made your body go positively wild, and you could swear some drool dribbled from the corner of your mouth. “D-Dean—”

Christ, he’s never seen anything so pretty.

He groaned as he took in the sight of you, your legs over his shoulders. “You like that, huh? You like it when I—“ his words were cut off with a strangled moan, you were just so perfect, he was never going to be able to get enough.

He managed to make a few more noises, some of them resembling your name, before he just dropped his forehead to your shoulder. “Baby— baby, need to come again in you, can I?“

You made a noise that sounded like a moaned yes, and you’d never known that being split in half by a guy would ever feel this good, your hands braced on the underside of your thighs. Well, that was a confirmation.

He groaned as he felt you nod against his shoulder, words being lost on him after that. That was a yes, a good, proper yes. He didn’t even know what he was saying, all that he knew was that he needed to give you it. So he just gave it to you hard, and fast, not letting up an inch. “Good girl, good girl, you’re doing so good, taking it so well, baby doll—” all the while, he panted against your skin.

He groaned against your skin, his mouth pressed to your shoulder. Hearing that, feeling you around him, he was done for, he was gone— “Yeah, baby, oh, you’re so good, so good, feels so damn good, I’m coming baby, I’m gonna—“

He let out a strangled moan, and his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode it out, burying his face into the crook of your neck, panting, grunting, smoothing your hair back as he spilled into you with a low moan.

You stroked his hair, helping him come down from it, feeling tired out— I mean, at least the pollen’s fucked out, right? Just… you hated witches now. You get Dean’s point— you didn’t before, but now you do.

He let out a weary groan, breathing still laboured and his skin was still flushed. When he came to and registered that you were stroking his hair, he let his head fall onto your chest, his head against your tits. Mm, like a pillow, feels s’nice.

“God, that was intense.” He whispered against your skin. “You okay, sweetheart?” He was spent, absolutely boneless and limp, and just content to lay there and bask in the aftermath of what you’d just done.

“Better than before.” You breathed, nodding, rubbing your cheek. “S’ not as sore as I thought it’d be, if I’m bein’ honest. But now I get why you hate witches.”

He let out a chuckle, which just sounds more like a quiet scoff, and he lifted his head up to look at you, a slight smirk on his lips. “Oh yeah? You get it now, huh?” His head returned to its original position after a few moments, and he nuzzled against you, an arm wrapping around your waist. “Not sore, huh? I didn’t go too hard on ya, did I?”

“No, but, uh…” You grinned cheekily. “Being carried to the bath would be much appreciated.” Oh, the little shit.

Of course.

He lifted his head to look at you, an entertained and amused look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna be real cute, aren’t you?” He questioned, and then in a quick movement, he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you against his chest.

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