#but now that im trying to write myself im curious how important it is to other people

[gridgamesgalore]

really need to make my introduction post but im currently insane right now so I have to go on a tangent

[ note; this will not be professional writing pls bear w/ me i misspell things on purpose unless pointed out by myself so pleek pleeek ( i also refer to xfohv as jnj sometimes for clarification ) + there will be mentions of learningblocks related content just a heads up before any people call me weird for fixating on a " show for toddlers " ]

hello !! lowjay the order the karnage here !! so um ,, im here to talk about the 2 , 763 , OOO JnJ sub special ,, that shit was absolutely phenomenal .. insane even .. it altered my brain chemistry and I HAVE to talk about it ,,

spoilers for the 2 , 763 , OOO special if you haven't seen it ♡♡♡ (please watch it pleek)

I really need to mention this creature's appearance first . ALGEBRALIEN TWENTY-FOUR IS CANON !!! OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS SO RAHHHH !! /VVVVPOS lowjay try not to get attachrd to the most random characters / things ever !! ( impossible) THIS CREATURE IS MAKING ME TWEAK OUT ,, EXPECT A GIJINK OF THEM SOON!! /BALL (fun fact !! one of my closest moots calls them gijinks of algebraliens jnjinkas ♡♡♡ /silly)

( just want to let yall know i crosship them and twenty-four nbs ♡♡ is that oak ,, I love being a multishipper )

NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT arguably the most important ever piece of lore in jnj / beefydie history has to be the canonical powerful being 2763 ♡♡♡ this creature is so silly :ball:

[ next paragraph will be a somewhat lengthy tangent about a crossover au w/ beefydie + nbs ( numberblocks woah ! ) so pleek listen ]

so w / this information about 2763 being the canonical powerful being of the beefydie , i wonder .. does this mean that if 97104 got figured out they would be one of the powerful beings of nbs ?? ( ahem the others are one , zero , and possibly forty-two because hitchhiker ' s guide to galaxy hh ) THINK ABOUT IT ♡♡♡♡♡ PLES PLEEK (fun fact !! the digits of 97104 added up together equals 21 ! /info !! is this the reason she is curious to find out new explorer ?? spoiler warning ; probably not i just might be mentally ill ) /ball ,, ANYWAYS ,, what i was getting to is that the plot of this au is basically just both nbs 24 and algebralien 24 grouping up w / several other people (will decide that later because I literally just thought this au up an hour after the special) to overcome the dreadful disasterly deeds of 97104 and 2763 ♡♡♡ (captain underpants ahh alliteration) yeah all that hype for nothing ♡♡ sorry i just really need to share this ♡♡♡ trust trust TRUST i will make fanart of this au TRUST ♡♡♡ /SILLY

( THESE TWO ARE CANON TRUST )

this isn't really a big thing but more of an honorable mention ♡ I really liek the zero ' we can do it ! ' poster ♡♡♡ i find propaganda posters interesting in general ♡♡♡ /gen /pos

( i know what you are ,, fifteen simp ,, )

another long yapping session but I NEED to talk about my joyous enthusiasm ,, I'm so happy that in the jnj / xfohv / beefydie verse algebralien tweb is an important piece of lore which makes me hfhdhsjjsjekrghhhGRRRRR ,,,, froth at the mouth ,, because I dont think you guys understand how much the number tweb in general means to me ,, not only is tweb the first ever whole number to have 6 factors [ rectangly number in bluezoo terms ] their debut in nbs most likely highly impacted the learningblocks community in general ,, nbs tweb is so cool and the existence of the peak number system dozenal and the passage of time revolving around tweb and numbers RELATED to tweb [ PLEASE watch the about time special even if you aren't interested in nbs or already know it's very silly trust ] and yeah and did i mention the dozenal system hhhh [ as you can see i am very normal about different number bases / radixes ] /VVVPOS

( silly !! )

ending off w / an honorable mention ,, algebralien 63 !! they are really cool woah ♡♡ I really lobe when jnj introduces new algebraliens ♡♡♡ /vpos

anyway that was my long yap session ,, I realy hope you liek my existence of here ♡♡♡♡ this special changed my life and I am literally feeling ball rn ♡♡♡

[princessbrunette]

im not a big john b girlie but you write him so well! your most recent one w toxicex!reader n all was so well written!

you seriously nail dialogue so well, they feel so human and their dialogue conveys such nuance and glimpses into their personality and motivations. i'm genuinely such an impressed by writing and incredible skill, you have such a seamless way with words, painting a really charged, and clear image of these characters and scenarios.

p.s some questions if youre willing to answer !

what got you into writing fan fiction?

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

would you say writing is an outlet for you, from life, or drama, or work?

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important - what is said or what isn't and

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

sorry if this sounds like an interview or if this is a bit much or overwhelming. i've been reading your stuff for like a good year now, and i'm just curious!

adore your work, hope all is well sending hugs n love :)) x

this is literally so sweet <3 made me so happy tysm!! of course i’ll answer ur questions ♡

what got you into writing fan fiction?

well tbh i’ve been writing ‘fanfiction’ since before i knew what it was. i’ve mentioned a few times on this blog but i had this little notebook (that i still have!) where i’d write loads of self insert stories when i was roughly 9-10 years old. i would insert myself into my favourite disney shows with the characters i had a crush on etc. it was my favourite thing to do, id bring my notebook with my everywhere and it could keep me entertained for hours! that’s probably where i got my start.

do you write your own original stories, or are you more happy and comfortable exploring these fictional worlds as is?

on tumblr particularly i’m more comfortable adapting universes that already exist because i enjoy the community i can / have built off relating characterisations with other people on the internet. i can have some sort of semblance of whether or not im doing an okay job based on the feedback. however, i grew up writing for a stage / screen too, which i’ve recently gotten back into and i do deeply enjoy creating a universe from scratch.

would you say writing is an outlet for you? from life, drama or work?

not particularly! moments in my real life have absolutely inspired by writing but i’m not sure i use it as an escape. as someone with autism, routine is really important to me. i write as part of my routine mostly every single day whether i post something or not — and if i don’t write i actually feel pretty thrown off. i also write in other forms, for example i love journalling. i think if anything were to be an outlet it would be that.

when it comes to dialogue, what do you think is more important? what is said or what isn’t?

that’s a really interesting question and honestly i’m not sure! i think it varies from fic to fic. i do think what isn’t said can be very powerful, however i believe in order to grasp what is being conveyed without words the reader would really need to understand the character — and to my understanding not every reader does. not only do i know that based off requests i receive occasionally trying to force characters into boxes i personally think they do not belong — but not everyone is here to understand, period. some readers are casual readers, just here to thirst because they saw a couple of edits they liked (which is great, no problem with that!) in which case i like to make my writing accessible to everyone and i try to make their intention as verbatim as possible.

do you have any particular literary inspirations for dialogue (i.e a film with good dialogue like 'before sunrise' or a novel like 'normal people' or something) or are you more thinking of just real, conversations or straight from shows (like outerbanks, and etc) and watching how they talk rather than trying to emulate any other style?

not any that i can remember! i focus more on trying to make my characters seem like they stepped directly off the show even if it’s based in an au. i want readers to be able to hear the intonation in their voice, understand why they’d stutter when they did, see their facial expression as they say it in their head the same way they would if they were watching outerbanks. however, when i read over my drabbles — i often reimagine them as if they were adapted to a film instead. i would give anything to watch all of my drabbles on a private screen, each of them produced in a sofia coppola style of cinema. that would be really fun and girly and aesthetically pleasing i think.

i hope that answered your questions adequately !! 🩷

[altschmerzes]

if the only distinction between platonic and romantic for you is what label they put on it then what makes that distinction meaningful? not trying to be rude or beg the question im just curious because you are married and you write characters having sex platonically and people being platonic soulmates so im kind of just failing to see what the use in distinguishing between platonic and romantic even is at that point? again sorry im clearly not familiar w this discourse so just ignore this ask if you dont feel like answering but it seems like the only difference is like. self identification which seems like a bit of a silly thing to fuss over? i dont understand where the sense of alienation is coming from since there is so much overlap. and i dont understand how you define romance in that case.

what makes the distinction meaningful is that they are. different things? i sure am married and i sure do write about platonic sex, can't say soulmate is a word ive ever used or really enjoy that much so no i dont really do that, but that's beside the point. i can't see why those facts about me makes the value i place on distinguishing platonic and romantic particularly useless? what makes Any label meaningful lol. like? idk. it's meaningful because i ascribe meaning to it. you could say that about literally any label.

this got a little meandering, i hope this made sense, but to be honest i'm having a real hard time understanding the question and why you're asking me this given i think i have been pretty clear where i stand on it. it's not like... discourse, to me. it's just my life, my lived experience, and the things that are important to me that for some reason i keep having to justify and defend.

the use in distinguishing is that the difference is important to me and if that's just... like. idk i'm not trying to be rude in my answer either but i really don't know how to explain why it matters to me if you think that self identification is a silly thing to fuss over and can't understand where the sense of alienation is coming from. i am romance repulsed. people insist that romance must be in everything, and that even when it's not yes it is, and then sometimes people will come out of the woodwork when i or others talk about how important that distinction is to us and say 'yeah but it's not important and isn't that silly what's the difference who cares.' kind of like you're doing right now?

any action is defined by the people involved in it. what is it about marriage and sex that leads you to question what the point of defining Any action is if those things can be done platonically? like suddenly that's over the line, i guess? because i am married, because i write about platonic sex, that to you says that there's no longer a point in differentiating between romantic and platonic? i'd invite you to examine why those things push your ability to accept that distinction as possible to matter to me. people have sex with people they're not romantically attracted to all the time. people marry people they're not romantically attracted to all the time, and have done historically, for any number of reasons. the fact that when i write those things or do those things there is an immense amount of platonic emotion and intimacy and feeling involved doesn't make it less reasonable to define as not romantic. i'm really having a hard time seeing the issue here.

romance is a feeling that people can have and a decision they can make to engage in with another person or in their creative work. i don't know how to explain that i don't feel it and i dont want anything to do with it, except that i know for a deep, visceral fact that i don't. sometimes i interrogate myself on this, like, try to examine my feelings for and my relationship with my wife like 'IS this romantic' and the answer is always an immediate and resounding no. i don't really feel the need to scrutinize it more than that. i know because i know. end of. i need people to accept that or leave me alone about it.

the sense of alienation when there's so much overlap comes from the fact that people try to deny there is overlap. try to take the things that are important to me away from me, to re-categorize them as something else. the analogy i make that is i think the clearest to explaining this to people from a romance repulsed aromantic perspective is that my intimate and strong platonic feelings and relationships being called or seen as romantic feels to me like being misgendered. it hurts. it aches and brings with it a sense of visceral, gut-deep wrongness. you could probably say all this about my gender too, to be honest. i get called miss at work. i use the ladies room. i wear heels and blouses in court. what's the point in calling myself trans? in using he/they pronouns? there's so much overlap. why the alienation with she/her and being Just A Woman?

sorry im just a little... at a loss to explain this in a way you're going to find sufficient, since i don't know how much more i can say than i've already repeatedly said.

all i can really tell you is that when i talk about the distinction between platonic and romantic being really really important to me as a romance repulsed aromantic person in a platonic marriage and people come back at me with 'uuuuugh why do we need labels why differentiate at all like who cares at that point' it feels like they are trying to erase and destroy a part of me that is intrinsic to who i am. i feel like the question is 'why are you even aromantic then if you value relationships, who cares, just have them, don't distinguish'. which, given the power amatonormativity has in our world, would have the effect of having romance superimposed over my life and my creative work and everything else without the ability to separate myself from it firmly and definitively. if self identification is not important to you, then i don't know how to explain to you why it is to me, and i do actually find it pretty insulting that you're trying to tell me that i'm fussing over silly things.

like. what in the realm of identity and experience isn't self-identification. do you have a scientific test to determine orientation? gender? specific feelings? i'm really uncomfortable with a lot of the implications here.

[steelycunt]

hi ridi! I hope you've been having a fantastic time in Dublin and that the rest of the year treats you lovingly. <3

i want to tell u officially how much I adore your writing! the way you string bundles of words into something so so so precious, and the way they flow so seamlessly into something that just clicks right in my brain-- I am actually so jealous of your writing! they are just sooooo lovely to be read... <3 anyway I've been curious about your writing journey! i am assuming you are younger than me since you are doing your last year of your degree (gooooood luck for your dissertation! I'm doing my master degree diss atm so watching ur journey has been such a dear companion to me) but your brilliant writing is just so inspiring to me... if you have the time would you be able to share a few tips on writing? xx

ahh hi this is so lovely of you thank you!! youre too sweet and it always makes me beyond happy to hear people enjoy my writing : ^ )) as for tips i do feel a bit unqualified to give out advice on writing as someone who only does this for fun + hasnt received any teaching/criticisms from actual writers + also has no intention of writing creatively in any capacity beyond this but there are a few things i find help me to write stuff that i myself enjoy...firstly i can link an ask i answered a while ago about writing dialogue or at least how i approach writing dialogue and also an ask about my personal writing style and whats important to me when im writing and this one about editing/writing a second draft..and this one about general writing tips which i answered a few years ago...in general though now i think the most important things to my writing are as follows : ^ )

really generic but so real just reading is the biggest thing for developing writing to me second only maybe to the act of writing itself and even then id say its pretty close...other people and especially published authors will word things and use phrases and employ descriptions in ways i would never ever have thought of and reading other peoples writing can introduce you to ways and styles of using language which wouldnt have occured to you otherwise!! its wonderful!! and reading something you really love can just remind you of what you can do with writing and i find that really helpful even just as motivation : ^ )

this is a personal style choice i suppose but i hateeee white room syndrome i HATE to read something where the settings and physical details arent fleshed out...or conversely i loveee that element of writing so its a really important bit for me!! fleshing out the environment like what does the room look like can you hear the bin men on the street outside are there magnets on the fridge is there washing up in the sink what mug are they drinking from do they own a novelty t shirt from a holiday two years ago. there is so much fun but also so much character building and atmosphere creation and period setting 2 be had in little details like that!! idk i just love to read it so i think everyone should do it and its just so much FUN like yes design their old-fashioned galley kitchen and fill it full of clutter!! so much more immersive than a scene which ends up taking place in a blank white room in my head because the setting is underdescribed.

in terms of editing my method is really laborious and probably inefficient but i do it for creative writing + uni essays and i cant imagine doing it any other way now..when i finish a draft i open a blank doc and put them beside each other and rewrite the scene in the blank doc...a lot of sentences youll write out exactly as they are but i find it comes much easier to make changes and think of ways to restructure sentences when youre typing them out from scratch rather than staring at an already written passage trying to improve it. its painful but it works!!

avoid moral purification and tumblr discourse speak and therapy speak at all costs!! moral purification and tumblr discourse speak and therapy speak are the Writing killers i instantly have to stop reading things when every character talks like theyre completely up to date on the latest online discourse and unproblematic and have all been through years of therapy. ESPECIALLY in a piece meant to be set in like. the 1970s. its so boring when people cant let characters behave poorly without finding some way to absolve them of responsibility or have them be able to perfectly explain exactly which childhood traumas have driven certain responses or behaviours. they are going to have to be bad people who can have the right values but might express them in a way different to what the piccrew tumblr pfp on your dash is saying in 2024. it also just means they all sound the same the characters have no individual voices or outlooks its just really boring!! i dont know if its a product of people being scared of receiving flak for writing anything else but consider this me giving everyone writing this sort of stuff flak right now. booo. boring.

chronic overuser of similes and metaphors here but nearly everything is like something else even only in a vague wayand for me and what i enjoy the more unlikely the comparison the better. and for the stuff that isnt like something else well thats the crux of it also...links back 2 the point about details a bit but using all the senses and the physiology of the human body (it does soo many things and experiences so many sensations and feelings in so many different places in so many different situations there is so much to be mined!!) and literally anything at all especially in a big moment or when ur trying to describe big emotions some writers are talented enough to tackle them head on but i personally am often not and so i find it easiest to concentrate on the smallest details of big emotions...almost like a cheat but i like how it works!!

this is all really generic stuff and things i have probably said before but hopefully something here is of use and if i think of anything else ill add to it!! but i think just writing badly and reading good stuff does make you get better at it there arent any rules except perhaps not using phrases or metaphors which are commonly used...yah!! thats the gist of it i think!! : ^ )

[darkcircles4lyfe]

hi hello ive just come from your enneagram 9 izuku post and i am just OVERWHELMED with joy & excitement after reading it, everything you said just feels so RIGHT!!

(i am a nine myself & have always felt weirdly attached to izuku in that he felt soso similar to me in such a weirdly specific way but i couldn't really explain why i just Got Him until now, so thanks for that little boost of validation lol)

with your post in mind, i couldn't stop thinking about this line from 412 and it got me curious if you had any additional thoughts on it/read it the same way i did:

the moment i read this line i immediately took a screenshot & filed it away in my Important Izuku Moments file, like idk! the wording of it, the way he's talking about shigaraki but could SO easily be talking about himself, that honestly devastating panel of the tears in his eyes...

we've gotten plenty of hints about izuku's emotional suppression (that 'heroes dont cry' scene with iida & todoroki, his flashback of all might telling him to 'stop being such a cry baby' during the afo fight, the whole 'control your heart' plotline...) but THIS line in particular feels so significant for some reason. maybe cause this could easily be izuku recognizing himself in/through shigaraki? maybe bc it is so close to izuku acknowledging the lid hes put on his own sad & lonely past? maybe bc this is the closest we've ever gotten to izuku saying i'm not okay, even if he isn't actually talking about himself yet?

im trying really hard not to ramble too much in your inbox lol, but everything you said in your post about tomura & izuku really hit home for me, i think you're so right about them. and this line in particular is what makes me think we really are going to see some version of tomura being the one to finally break through (Decay) izuku's emotional blocks & barriers (something something locked door imagery), and that just makes me really excited. for both of them :')

YAY!! I’m so glad to hear you resonated with it. It’s otherwise a bit of a “if you know you know” sort of situation, and it felt good to actually explain it.

I had a “!” moment with that panel too, and also when he says he’s determined to break through Tomura’s barrier, expose and acknowledge his pain.

My immediate thought was, “Oh hey, I’m definitely not making this shit up after all, because Horikoshi is obviously intending to confront the concept of bottling up your emotions/your past. He literally just stated it. We're on the same page.” While it didn’t directly confirm anything about Izuku, it's at least something he is aware of, which is an important first step. There's a line in Sleeping At Last's 'Nine' that I was thinking about a lot as I was writing the latter part of that post: "I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes," which speaks to a need for Tomura to be Izuku's mirror, so that he can see himself.

Also, the revelation that Izuku is clinging to the idea that everyone has a "human heart" deep down is pretty clearly applicable to himself too, implying that he's dealing with a lack of self worth (a lot of Japanese fans were talking about this, and I think it doesn't come across as easily in English). I really love how Kudou clarified that Izuku is not naive for this. It's not the same as being blissfully ignorant to how cruel people can be. It's more like, "I need to believe in the worth of others or else I can't believe in myself." That's... so painful and beautiful.

I'm also excited for what comes next! Very soon!

[1425fivefive]

Hiii i’ve just binged all the afterburn snippets u posted (no idea why tumblr hid these from my timeline btw kinda mad about that) and im feeling feral! U don’t know just how excited i am for it!! It reminded me of learned behavior and honestly who cares about a uni degree and quizzes and shit when i could spend my time rereading and analysing every sentence in that masterpiece of literature!

I was just curious, since you’re a writer i look up to as one of the best in fandom space in general, what’s your writing process? Like do you just get a vague idea and build it up as you write with more vague ideas of how it’s supposed to go? Do you make a proper outline and plot out scenes and major plot points/character arcs? Like what is your writing/editing process?

I’m just curious to know tbh i myself have been writing in fandom for a few years now but i feel really stuck and frustrated where i am, so when i see writing as good as yours i am in awe and wanna like dissect ur brain (in not a creepy way i swear!)

Sorry for the long ask and you don’t have to answer but thank youuu for writing for this fandom <3

hi!! this ask is so lovely, i love talking about the writing process

for me, it really varies by fic. most of the time when i'm writing a short fic (capybara cupid, intricate rituals), i'll have a premise or a line of dialogue, and then i'll just see where the fic takes me. i don't have any outline or "plan" going in other than wanting to explore a particular concept or theme. i'll maybe do one edit for spelling mistakes/grammar and then hit post

with long fics, it's very different. i'll talk about afterburn just because that's the one that's freshest in my brain. i went in knowing i wanted to write about (1) oscar signing a long-term contract with mclaren and (2) lando leaving for ferrari right before 2028. i then sat with it and thought ok, why does lando leave. what happens over 2025-2027 that leads him to the point where he'd actually be ready to leave. and i started thinking through championships and races and oscar's characterization more, and then i started writing with a vague idea of the major "scenes." i knew abu dhabi 2026 and singapore 2027 was going to be big races right from the start. i knew something happened at zandvoort in 2027. but the specifics were sort of vague to me. once i start writing, usually, i get a much clearer idea of everyone's dynamics and how a particular scene will work. often i end up abandoning certain pieces of dialogue i'm really attached to just because once i actually start writing, the dialogue doesn't fit with the characterization. i'm extremely, extremely ruthless in cutting things i think aren't working

anyway, once i have like 60-70% of the fic done, i start going through and editing more substantively. i'll move scenes around, scrap scenes, add new ones where i think they're needed. i think it's really important to let go of things that feel "wrong" even if you like the writing or scene conceptually. just put it in another tab of your gdoc and save it there. you can come back to it later and maybe rework it into something that suits the fic

i also think it's really valuable to think about paring your writing back to its essentials. so often i see fics that are extremely long where essentially nothing happens. that's totally fine if that's what the author's going for, but i think trying to get your writing "punchier" is a good exercise in figuring out what words you "need" to tell a story. i was talking with a friend recently about how i try to stay away from metaphors and similes most of the time because i think it slows down pacing and often dips into cliché

so anyway, my writing process for long fics is: premise -> vague ideas of scenes -> start writing -> start writing a more detailed outline -> keep writing -> read through the fic to figure out if scenes are working/what needs to be deleted or added -> keep writing -> final edit

i hope this is helpful-ish!

[collegeboysam]

i hope me asking doesn't come off as rude, but do you ever plan to come back to your "you may bury my body" fic?

again im not sure the correct "protocol" ?? for asking things like this but im just curious ^_^

😭😭😭 this is NOT rude at all, if anything is the sweetest and most polite way of asking so don't worry about it <3

Honestly thank you for taking enough interest in the fic to ask about an update! I know it varies from author to author of course, but I personally don't mind being asked at all 🥰

To answer your questions: YES, ABSOLUTELY! I think "you may bury my body" is in the top 3 of my favorite fics I have written. I have so much fun when I'm going over the drafted scenes, researching for them and then completely writing/completing the chaptrs! I'll never leave YMBMB incomplete, I'm committed to finishing it.

I'm hoping and have all my fingers crossed that I'll post the next part this month.

Why I havent updated it yet is a longer story and will yap about it under the cut if you want to know <3

Basically, how YMBMB is written is a little messy? I came up with an entire timeline, then started drafting the chapters by writing the main events/scenes for each one of them and leaving keypoints of secondary scenes as bulletpoints I'd to fill up/complete in the future.

You could say the fic is kind of written from start to end, but only the main scenes between Aemond and Lucerys, so all the "bones and organs" of the body of the story are in place, but all the muscles and skin (the details and seconday scenes) are missing. That's what I have to work on for each update.

So each chapter is written around a 50%-ish I'd say? From start to end.

What I do for each chapter update is: I go over the draft I have already written, then write the missing scenes I initially left as bulletpoints. Many times I make the main scenes I previously wrote longer by adding more details (details of location descriptions, make action sequences and more elaborate or conversations between the main characters longer). Then I re-read the chapter a couple times for misakes (since english is my second language I try to be extra particular about this) and then I post it.

Now, for chapter 6 I kind of backed myself into a corner 😭😭

As I started working on it I realized I wasn't sold in the main scene of the chapter, it didn't feel all that cohesive, so I deleted it and wrote it again from scratch. I kept working on the chapter and as I checked on the rest of the draft I realized by changing the scene I had previosly written I deleted an important plot point that would become very relevant later. It even msessed with the end of the fic.

So I had to go back a second time and re-write the main scene again. I liked the new version better but I needed to reincorporate some points I had deleted (because I forgot how important they were for future chapters lol).

Trying to keep the new version with some of the old version's necessary points in it fucking killed me lol. It took me months to get it right since my workload and day-to-day life didn't give me time to write as much at the end of 2024 . And when I had time I kept adding and deleting, and then adding and deleting some more, until it finally felt right again. The adhd didn't help but that's another issue entirely lmao.

I know I'm being too particular about a fic when is just for fun but asfsdfsf I love writing it so much that I became very passionate about wanting it to come out just as I imagined it.

Thankfully the past few months have not been as hectic and chaotic, which gave me time to work on the fic properly again and not by chunks every other night after work. This is why I could also update the Halloween fic.

Anyhow, I'm much MUCH more pleased with how chapter 6 looks at the moment, I'm still adding details and scenes to it, but the main structure and plotlines of the fic are once again connected and untangled and I feel pretty happy with the result of the rewrite AT LAST 🥰🥰

My goal is to post the update this month, and I'll try my damn hardest to make it so AND to not let so much time go by in between updates for the rest of the story.

Sorry I used part of your ask to bent about the problems I created for myself adnflskfnlkfn prisoner in a cage of my own making tbh. But that's also part of the fun of fic writing I guess lol

When the update comes, I hope you enjoy it <3 Let me know what you think of it when you can 🥰

Thank you again for taking an interest in the story and for coming to ask about it, you're very lovely!

[strixcattus]

hello tumblr user strixcattus!

i would like to inform u that stop-the-play still lives in my head rent free and that every single voice & vessel u’ve shown us holds a special place in my heart!!

ive been thinking about them more in recent times cuz of… well, its in my nature to take comfort in stories and use them as mirrors to dissect what im going thru.

my last theory that i sent about the voices has shifted slightly, but thats a story for a different time!

what i want to say next is that… i suspect that this au has taken inspiration from in stars and time!! (tone: said in a fun commiserating “i like that thing too!” way)

now that im more familiar with the story and themes of that game, i can now recognize that “back to the stage” was a direct reference to it! 

and it just makes me even more curious to find out what other secrets u’ve hidden in this project of urs!!

i cant wait for the next update (which is to say that im very excited for it) but i understand that art (especially something as great and involved as this!) takes time, so i will be waiting very patiently until u feel ready to grace us with ur wonderful vision for this story of urs!!!

i feel very grateful that u had the courage to share it with us, and even tho the blog has gone on hiatus, i want u to know that it has affected my mind, heart, and soul in ways that i will never be able to describe in the extent that i want to…

…but i love ur project so much that im willing to try! becuz thats what u do when u love something!! 

and i do! i this story of urs so very much!!

this message that im writing is my best attempt at capturing even a fraction of the emotion u have gifted me and the rest of ur faithful readers with ur art!!!

ive tried many times in the past months (dating back to last year) to write something that felt adequate enough to show how passionate i am about ur creation, but none of it ever felt right…

…but then i realized that it didnt need to be perfect becuz the most important part of writing these sorts of comments is letting the artist know that their creations are wonderful and the heart that they put into it is cherished and adored!

i had lost the plot and focused too much on myself when i really should have been trying to uplift u, so that is what im doing now!! i hope this makes u happy!!!

okay thats all i wanted to say; i hope u have a good day/night wherever u are! ^^

<3 <3 <3

Thank you so much for this ask!! I've been trying to figure out how exactly to respond as answering these sorts of comments is often just as tricky as sending them... smiling so much as I read through this. Thank you!!

You're right that there's a bit of ISAT inspiration with the theatre-theming of it all... something about plays and time loops, you know? As for whether there are any other hidden references... I'll leave that to you!

I've been in a bit of an art rut for the past couple months (protip: if you're seeing burnout looming on the horizon, you probably shouldn't try to push through it even if you think you're being smart and cutting back just enough to avoid it) and the current route is a bit intimidating in terms of artwork (you know how the Stranger route is; I quite literally can't fall back into the easier artstyle I'd normally use to take some effort out of the everyday updates), so the hiatus has been on for longer than I would've wanted, but thank you for still thinking about the story despite my radio silence!!

I'm at a point where I'm starting to wonder if part of this overlong break is that I'm waiting for perfect conditions that aren't going to happen, or if I've just decided that easing into other art projects would be a better way to start drawing again and not bothered to consider taking the plunge straight into STPlay. I can't say for sure when I'll actually be able to drop out of hiatus, since I'm busy in the immediate future, but... I've been thinking about working on the artwork ahead of time so I don't need to do all the work of starting it back up at once. Ease out of the break, draw in my spare time, and in an ideal world go back to, if not daily, at least a regular schedule once I'm no longer devoting all my energy to offline projects?

So thank you again for thinking about STPlay even when I've been MIA for the past few months, and thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask!! Even though I can't yet say when I'll be able to start it up again, it definitely will resume at some point—I'm way too excited to give you all some proper peeks behind the curtains. Here's hoping I can get back into drawing for it soon!

[fappellmoan]

hi everyone this feels wildly self centered and silly but i made a guide to my dyke drama/lore that i talk about in barely coded but convoluted terms. i love internet safety. doing this at the request of exactly one person and for the rest of u it's under the cut if youre curious and feel so inclined hashtag close friends <3 i highlighted my previous ways of referring to these people and important notes bc otherwise i just rambled soooo bad <3 and as much as im maybe romanticizing in some ways here i do genuinely care for and love (most of) these people outside of my weirdofreak brain and try my best to do well by them in our relationships. and maybe i just wanted to write beautiful things about my friends whatever

lydia: they're on here we met on here and now we're roommates. we met bc we were two of the only bitches posting in the muna tag and she was brave enough to reply to my one naomi video. and i was like um ok... FREAK.. and then yk we were mutuals but i was always paranoid they'd somehow know film girl or my roommates (or just. other ppl) bc i was being insane so that was awk but then i had a mental breakdown a little bit one night on here about my childhood and decorating for holidays and they offered to meet on campus and give me some leaves for my window and i was like aww (and we used them this year to decorate our shared apartment :')) and i remember i was wearing my black and white sweatshirt that i wore to go see dan live that ive since given away i think but it feels like. a sign u know.. or whatever.. and we do have mutual friends in weird circles including one that connects to steve (see later notes) so it's like chances are we couldve met in person but this just made it really special. we beef bad. but with sooo much love. and i do think we're better for knowing each other or whatever...

film girl: this was bad. i have a tag dedicated to anything i remembered to tag as part of the saga but it was so bad and beyond anything words can say... i'd give her another name but she could never be anything but film girl. it's like if u were there u know. if u weren't... let's just say i was crazy insane mentally ill bonkers jeff buckley lover you shouldve come over i know it's over. maroon 5 even about it. bad. but consider she leaned into me like she did her bf for their first kiss, said our night together when we went to our friend's party where she had dressed up as jennifer check (i showed her the movie it was a whole thing) and danced with me and talked right against my neck and grabbed onto me while walking and said she was maybe bi and i deserved someone really nice and im so swaggy etc and then going back to her place and making me food and watching himym on the floor (oct. 21st u will go down in herstory...) made her the 'happiest person in the world,' stayed over at my apartment until the following morning more than once, unwrapped her bruised hand and held it out to me to see/touch (absolute freaks moment like kill me actually. and that was the day i perioded myself. to use pj of bottoms' terms.) was just generally engaging in psychosexual warfare with me all the time. and we didn't even fuck. or kiss. and she had a boyfriend. who looked like a girlfriend (not that i personally had in february of last year but regardless..) i mean come on she was a straight woman she wasnt even allowed to say slay.. i genuinely still think we need to kill each other but it doesn't matter. how is she still linked to my life? well. we had a class this semester with steve and stede and lydia and scully (prof im in love with. this name is hilar), sort of friends with cool artsy queer girl group (hometown friends, one her best friend i almost met up with at muna concert (with her) one who looks a bit like jackie kennedy. ok not really but that's the one my one friend josh (woman) made out with last semester), had a class with steve and sam last semester with dave, our shared prof that steve told details of our first date and etc to.

steve: this is gonna be ex situationship from beginning of this semester - mid october. gets this name bc they're obsessed w that pirate show so like stede but i simply wont name them that and at this point im annoyed enough w their taste in things that steve feels fitting. anyway. was genuinely very kind and sweet but also got clingy soo fast and we were on very different pages. we'd met last fall (when they had a gf) and worked together on sets and in a couple classes, they kind of got caught up in my triangulation of desire for jane at her birthday party.. and i had fun flirting! um and they were genuinely again very very considerate and sweet but like. seemed to struggle to have a personality outside of their ex and maybe their siblings a bit. idk. just very passive. sowwy. also they were not a very good kisser. i do remember back in may being vindicated bc they also commented on film girl and bf

jane: naming her jane in a gay way. a jane austen way. in that i think we should write lifelong love letters to each other. holy shit shut up. so this is always 'friend im in love with' or 'a little in love with' or whatever. she is also girl with cool short hair and piercings and tattoos and a bookbag with tits on it so god forbid my infatuation. and i just love her voice and i think she's brilliant and so good at what she does and all around just like an awesome person she inspires me to be better and whatever. and she always dresses so cool and used to host house shows (i still never made it to one) (film girl did once) and when we first started talking we were at a film event and were supposed to be networking or whatever but instead we stood by the drinks together and talked abt how we both wanted to be friends in our writing class but never said it and thought the other hated each other a little bit but we were both just awkward and so we'd always make eye contact and laugh and banter together in class and i rlly was just in love with her. and this summer was crazyyy we were on steve's set together and i was a little freak just so obviously enamored with her but the thing is she was obnoxious too so i didnt even feel like a loser. she asked me to massage her arms once and said my half assed attempt was lame and we leg wrestled (also w steve. kinda funny. like yeah u would) and exchanged drunk stories and she said i needed better ones and then i beat her at stack cup at her bday and gave her her card and she hugged me and her lips were wet from the beer she just drank from and right on my arm and i was like wow. her kingdom (surrounded by people who she loved and loved her) for a kiss upon my shoulder. if u will. and i had to have a middle school Look Away moment bc she stripped in front of a few of us that night and i was far too intoxicated to not like lose my mind. also she was supposed to give me a book on set once but never did and im still bummed. and one random night she texted asking if id found a place to live and when i answered she never followed up and i still wonder what that was abt. if anything. um but she does have a boyfriend of like 5 or 6 years. from high school. the worst part is hes a semi cool dude but it's just like really. let her fuck a woman! just once even! jk they are both genuinely cool people first and i think it's great they found each other in this life. but also like fuck off ugh. yk. not to romanticize my life and friendships i just think in another life we were soulmates or maybe in a way we are now. but we also only knew each other for a brief time so maybe something else. we could've done backstreets

sam: friend i just mentioned recently who has a crazy name we shant get into it. i do have a different actual friend named sam but i havent seen her in forever. so i met them working on steve's senior film set and thought they were cool and they were one of the only ones to make it out to our post-wrap dinner/drinks and then we had two classes together this semester. and so we became sort of allies we'd meet up to go to the museum together and send each other the attendance and i went to see fnaf when he rented out a theater for a huge group lol and he helped on my film which meant a lot even if it was only for a bit cause of you know. the everything that was going on. with steve and etc. it wasnt easy to get there so like bless their heart. they also came up with the name for my film and we had that moment around the fire and well i do hope i'll continue to see them just as a friend even, and they're genuinely just the coolest they do a lot of drag and character/costume design and are genuinely just one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i know and they always have the coolest fucking outfits and hats and shit and omg they looked so good in their doc. just something abt the posture and the whimsy and the earnestness and look overall. woah. um when we were on steve's set my friend jackie leaned over and said 'i thought they were film girl for a second' so basically i need to redacted. but it's not like that bad of a resemblance. once again has a partner cause im cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress maybe or whatever. i havent even listened to that song more than like once but maybe it is real for me. anyway they were also in the class with steve and film girl with dave.

stede: im sorry this is so funny to me bc this person and steve go by the same name irl but spelled differently or whatever. we met and had a very energetic chat in the hallway at the beginning of this semester jim thought we knew each other lol. they're real cute and endearing and like i said kind of give butch. and we had two classes together but i had so much shit going on man i just. yeah. seemed like they were maybe a little into me but whatever. and well i think we should have a fling but who said that

jim: my buddy prof he's my buddy :-) he helped me so much sophomore spring as i was trying rlly hard to produce our class films and insane already over film girl (he didnt know that but it was omnipresent) and so close to dropping out and is just the coolest guy. he's a little bit like a father figure what who said that. i remind him of his youngest daughter a lot and ive lived in the same buildings as his older one. so just funny connections. i go to his office hours and such a lot with the film friends

grace: one of my film friends. (i just realized i do know a girl in film named grace but it's not her so anyway.) i am in awe of the way she commits to stuff and motivates people around her. she is just so game for anything to make the best of a situation. shes studying abroad this semester so ive only seen her on video chats/texted and missed the one day she came back for her bf's bday. well and she was the friend who said 'no he can keep himself busy' when we went to go see x together so she didnt make me hang out w her not even lame bf at first which was so nice. cause then i eventually actually did want to meet him. and theyre the least annoying couple ive ever met. and shes bi <3

jackie: another film friend. also love her dearly another stoner so we'd smoke together before class sometimes and just went on a walk with our other friend one night around the woods and stuff that was fun. i usually refer to grace and jackie collectively as 'the film friends.' we met in that spring of sophomore year (same class as film girl and jim). this one did have steve produce her senior film after they said they wouldn't work on mine bc of the ""situation"" i was a little sour that was an awkward um situation but it's whatever. i sometimes say film friends and mean a larger group of these ppl/a few extended but whatever

frank: ive just called him frank hes frank hes the coolest dude in the world i think everyone would be obsessed with him and i just think like man hes lived such a life. he's my short cool professor whos just so good at what he does. he's met so many people and done so many things. his van is so him he has a suction cup to pull his windows up in the winter and random albums in the front seat. im gonna try to work w him next semester. i was in that van last night feeling like i was in a gta level to go pick up pizza for our final class.

scully: my film comedy and tv analysis professor she is so everything to me... she loves women and evil women and gay people and camp and horror and comedy and tv and sex and just weirdo freak shit and shes so intelligent and quick on her feet and charming and just. an amazing lecturer. she said be gay do violence once. i felt seen. she said she used to pull her friends (favorite characters) out of the tv and carry them around in her pocket and i knew she understood... she saw bottoms and emailed me and lydia right away. and she's seen willow. and ofc so many other things. and she'll go 'this seems like the type of person/film/etc that you would be inspired by..' OK QUEEN I LOVE U. i want to do cocaine with her. huh. im taking gender and film with her next semester :333 im so excited

claire: friend from high school friend group who ended up ditching me and our other friend a lot that one summer and we almost lived together and we're just always kinda weird around each other but we were some of the only ppl the other hung out with fall semester 2020 so like.

drake and josh: i almost always refer to them together they're codependent a little bit roommates and i love them dearly and i met them thru claire sophomore year but ive hung out with them alone and stayed at their place when i got too drunk and that night i fell down the stairs. me and drake act a little homoerotic sometimes for fun. i cried at dinner over film girl once to her it was embarrassing. i miss going hammocking with them <3

dave: i had him last fall he's really cool he got me on a shoot w the mayor (and steve and jane) and was so cool about me not ocming to class a lot bc i kept in touch w him and hes my homie. film girl had a class w him then too and then last semester was the like news class that crew had together. and steve told dave all abt our first date and etc and got date ideas from him and i was like oh wow... ok lol

couch: couch roommate. theyre not relevant in my life enough to make a name but the couch story was stupid as hell and this one also left ground beef in the sink that one time and had a thing for a rugby girl that steve had a little fling with

jean: if i say 'one of my masc gfs' i probably mean them. sort of friends with couch like she was in my apartment once last year but um. yeah. had a crush on them for like a month at one point and we follow each other on insta and talked when we saw each other on campus the first time and thats like it. chances r ill forget abt this fake name and still just throw that in if i ever see her

[ask-outsiders-owen]

Deja vu? sometimes. not....often.

i mean.....i know i've seen this- er......there are some things i know for a fact are repeating. stuff i expect familiarity from.

and then there's....

that feeling of.....useing a name you know you only just came up with for yourself! and it being.....so....natural? or trying to come up with ideas and faintly having to ask yourself if you had already asked or mentioned it before....when i've only spoken to you on one other occasion.

So yes. i'd say i feel it. but its not....really important is it. No- no-. I appreciate the question but were here to learn about you! i should start getting better about talking about myself less at the start of these messages. Anyway, i have a few question im curious about, just to get some bearings. Who was the most recent new person to enter the clearing? What do you plan to do when you escape? What are...3 things you can remember. Annnnnddddd what are your thoughts on Rasbi! I like to write. Like really like to write its my favorite hobby, and to write you have to understand people, consider my questions from more of a....reporter standpoint than a friend. Although don't be afraid to be emotional or share secrets lol. - Salt Voice

i swear i've never used that name before i know i haven't but why does it sound so- shit im still talking-

* Owen has exited the underwater cave with his findings, sat back on the bank to dry off

I can tell something is somewhat different for you voices, if only I could understand that more. It is odd how you all work though- do you choose a name or simply come with one? What are you exactly? Just something in my mind, or your own beings?

And you say there are things you know to be repeating- so there is a certain knowledge gap? You voices know things...?

I'm happy to hear you talk, Salt voice. There's no need to apologise.

The person that just came up was Apo. He's off with Graecie now so she can explain the finer details. If nobody else offers him a place to stay for the night and my flooring is finished, I'll probably give him a spot in my base.

I'm...

...not sure what to do when I escape. I suppose I want to stay with everyone here and protect them, but things may change if I eventually remember where I'm from and who I can return to.

I remember... fire, singeing my fingertips. Holding weapons in my grasp- many different types, but mainly... a sword? I can remember the scent of blood, and the sensation of... hunting? Chasing something, I'm not sure what.

Rasbi is nice, I want to be able to protect her. Both of us are still so clueless- I want to be able to help. I'm not sure why she and I came up together, or why she's got horns or blackened sclera.... But she's my friend. Something within says it's important to build connections in here, to be kind and friendly- and that was already my intention, so why not continue with that?

I'm not sure if I answered in the way that you wished. I'm sorry.

It's hard to speak the words I mean, but maybe if you're in my head already you can understand with a bit more success.

I couldn't catch your last bit. I'm sure you can clarify if needed, though!

[ifuckingloveryoshu]

Self Indulgent Ryoshu X Vocalist!Reader

HCS (Or How I Got Myself into A Vocal Rabbit Hole)

This is self indulgent because one day I think I'm going to try to work on a project moon oc from the streets of music who sings. Also I'm too lazy to read all of this right now but it seems like a cool research thing and I will get some ideas from this. X Im blatently picking and chosing whatever. I'm also so out of the loop and like, I'm not reading all of these fully. I am an illterate Project Moon Enjoyer. Trust and go at your own discression.

I treat this like singing would help out with the lungs but the article claims that reseach on this area are poor and few.

(also feel free to give me constructive critisim because i want to learn how to write Ryoshu)

Just three bullet points in and fuck. I was just searching about neurotoxins a few moments ago. Aughhhh. If I find out me embedding links didn't work, I will gut someone.

Wall squats. Y/N is doing wallsquats to better train their lungs and Ryoshu is supervising. May god have mercy on your soul. She does it too sometimes and you both compete who can stay there the longest. Y/N also has to sing while doing wall squat. Ryoshu is exempt but sometimes she'll do it with you.

Y/N and Ryoshu run laps around the area together.

Y/N regularly takes waterbreaks with Ryoshu and the both of you are well hydrated. Hydration is very good for the human body. X

Y/N is not stopping her nicotine reliance but singing and doing exercises like this helps offset the lung damage. X

Just for a moment, when your together working like this, she puts down the cigarettes begrudgingly.

Its annoying but she must admit, it shows results. It's also quite usefull being able to hold your breath, pretend your momentarily dead only to suprise the enemy, or go in for an ambush.

As far as Y/N knows, their walking on eggshells. Ryoshu's not going to do anything though. She's not going to tell you this, she takes amusment in Y/N's underlying feeling of never being completly safe? There has to be some sort of unspoken trust to keep you two relaxed to sing well enough and the excersising helps. Respiratory tension gets removed when you've been running laps, huffing for air.

If Y/N lets her, she has the skill to cut into cut into Y/N's chest and neck, carefully showing how the things expand and the vocal folds narrowing, seeing the airflow. Its disgusting but also very useful information. (warning, graphic videos) X X

Sinner karaoke night. Ryoshu refuses to sing with the other sin-gers. Y/N can not force her. When everyone's packing up to go to bed, she stays behind and sings to herself a gentle lullaby she used to sing to Yuzuki. She knows your there. Tell anyone and Y/N gets a B.E.L.C.A.N.T.O. (Beat Entirely, Left Concious, and Neck Totally Offuscated) wrung out from their lungs.

Y/N and Ryoshu have excellent posture. Sometimes, to improve singing, Y/N and Ryoshu get to sit on the floor together and lay down, backs on the ground and heads touching each others. This is called breathing into your back. X X X

Other workouts include sit ups, proper breathing exerices, core muscles exercies, stuff that removes tension on your upper body

Being relaxed is also very important for singer's not to sound bottled up? The only reason she can momentarily stop smoking is because the singing is a sufficient enough distraction for the moment. X X

Ryoshu has a deep voice because of the cigs. She can still sing well though. X X

If Ryoshu's somehow gets a high or so into music herself, this is a possible thing that can happen. Y/N's job now is to try and make sure she takes breaks or chills out somehow because through this, she's still smoking her cigarettes. X

Sinclair is just with Y/N and Ryoshu sometimes because Ryoshu bullies him into it. The moment the other sinners got curious, she stopped. Indecisive if she stopped for good or stopped roping Sinclair in with Y/N. She just loses interest when other people start catching on. Sorry.

After that, she brings Y/N to her room sometime and you two only do the working out part together. Singing part is done on Y/N own time.

Put this somewhere idk (images of inside the vocal fold)

[ultimatefartwizard]

Agonies of a Late Homestuck Reader Pt.3

Wiz is here for the hell that is this work, and now we start off with Act 2, we begin with a mysterious vagabond wandering a desert. He like... finds this underground bunker type thing with a lid that has the same symbol as the cruxtruder? Quite interesting!

Jumping back to John, since he seems to now be in like floating purgatory type situation yet alive and well.... as well as a just now 13 year old boy can be after just nearly dying from a meteor hurdling towards him and his father's house.

Am I insane and used RPGmaker XP too much? Or does the wind sound in it sound like one of the wind effects RPGmaker XP use (specifically using it as an example as I've never used other rpgmaker programs)

I downloaded Ruffle (a in-browser flash player replacement) to circumnavigate the "flash player no longer supported" issue since I wanted a true genuine experience as it was intended, and thankfully it works! For those wanting Ruffle, you can find it -HERE-

I played the segment with John looking around his house, and was amused by this sort of omnipotent narrator type character (soon revealed to be the vagabond, having gone down into the bunker and is using a computer to communicate) that would order commands at him and just call him "BOY."

Various Vagabond antics; makes me think of how Kratos calls his son "boy" continually in Ragnarok.

As I further mucked about, John's father seems to be missing and some sort of oil substance is everywhere. I originally thought his father got whole ass slaughtered and had him bleed out like a pig, thankfully not... maybe? I haven't read far enough yet.

I immediately thought of John Kramer talking through Billy the puppet when I read this clicking on the cabinet. And considering the species of "Cherub" in Homestuck is based on the puppet, I wouldn't put it past Hussie to make a (slightly butchered) reference.

John talks to Dave, and.... well I won't show the image of the exact things he says when he starts rapping cuz 1. I can't put a clickable censor on images and 2. not comfortable posting that but OH MY GOD. HUSSIE... HUSSIE! NO STOP HUSSIE DONT WRITE THAT YOU ARE WHITE OH MY GODDD.... DON'T MAKE THAT CHILD SAY SUCH THINGS AND MAKE MORE WEIRD AND BORDERLINE RACIST COMMENTS.... Why are you obsessed. Why are you especially obsessed with black presidents and, in conjunction, Obama??? Do you have some sort of weird crush on this man because you think about him too much. (joking around with myself to save my sanity, im dying here, also note i feel these negative ramblings are important especially when looking at this piece of media in a critical light)

Please I pray the comments like this calm down... though knowing the later stuff ik Hussie doesn't stop being weird or finds new ways to be gross and weird. I also made the mistake of reading the "sweet bro and hella jeff" comic Hussie linked on Dave's segment and my god this explains the later incident with..... a certain Homestuck 2 character. DO NOT READ THAT FOR YOUR SANITY BTW.

Back onto the story itself, watching Dave manage his sylladex and how his captchalogues/uncaptchalogues stuff makes me realize how stupidly complex his is, and it's the most complex thus far. I still don't understand it but that's for another time for rambles. Also rather curious out of the three revealed human children so far he's the only one who's not apprehensive to his family member's collection of themed stuff; in this case, it's his brother's puppet collection. I swear to god there's got to be some sort of underlying reason for these, there's no way that these are all presented to the reader and somehow don't have any strong significance or meaning.

It cuts over to Rose again, who's trying to get out to the generator in the rain so she can boot up her computer to pair up with John again and escape certain doom due to a meteor shower hitting the forest she lives in and is engulfed in flames. She seems to have a lot of contempt for her mother, not sure if it's the same back towards her but they are noted to have some sort of one-uping competitions. Both John and Rose seem to compete with their parents while Dave nods and seeminly respects his brother's stuff, which is interesting and definitely will try to investigate this phenomenon as I read.

I leave off on page 374, certainly to return later for more reading! -Wiz

[celestie0]

ellie did you hear about the solar storm thing thats been going around?

my friend gave me a detailed explanation abt what it is whats going to happen n all n honestly i am TERRIFIED.

like it genuinely seems so real that i cant even convince myself that this is another one of those silly things that go around each year

the fact that research for this solar storm has been going on since 2019 is ???? scary ????

makes it seem more believable tbh bc if it was not real it wouldn't have been going on for so long

IM SO SCARED 😭 genuinely cried when my friend was telling me ab this and she also said thwt we'll get to know ab when the solar storm is going to hit about 30 minutes before AND NOW IM PARANOID BC IT CAN HIT ANY MOMENT NOOOOO

and to top this off my mother told me that not many ppl will survive till 2027 i have no idea where she got that from but she scared me even more

this is so bad.

hii my love yess ive heard of the solar storm, i know that solar flares in general have been talked about a lot for a while now but i didn’t know that there was recent news about it!

i’m sorry you’re experiencing anxiety regarding it :””( yeahh ive heard that solar flares are near impossible to predict in advance for a lot of reasons, so that can definitely heighten the fear

hm idk if it makes you feel better but i remember nasa n other news outlets were talking about solar storms the exact same way about a year ago (i just remember telling my dad ab it cuz he works in aerospace n figured his company might’ve been discussing it) but nothing happened at all within the six month period that the news had been freaking out about LOL. i panicked a lot then too n my dad said it was just fear mongering lmfaoo 💀 (he’s kind of a cynic though haha) but yea i just bring this up because it’s not the first time this sort of news has been sensationalized

following any sort of space stuff can be scary for sure n it’s super easy to get lost in article rabbit holes that can really disrupt your quality of life in the present :( but i think there have been multiple instances of space phenomena that have been hyped up in media (even by a lot of reputable news outlets) that have not really affected daily life as much as it was thought to (like the never ending cycle of news about new asteroids, the whole aliens thing, etc)

i think it’s important to remember that the scientists that are actually behind the research are completely different entities than the people writing up articles about it online, so you always have to take the news with a grain of salt or maybe try to look into accounts from the actual researchers behind the findings (who, more often than not i’ve found, don’t even panic about their own research to the level of extent a lot of media ppl do online haha)

i’m not saying i don’t believe in the possibility of a solar storm or anything like that lol i just think there’s a lot of tendency in news these days to scare tf outta people for no reason

also correct me if im wrong but the largest danger of a solar storm would be disruption of radio & internet frequencies right? i thought they werent actually powerful enough to cause any sort of biological radiation harm ;0 loss of internet access would definitely be a weird thing to see and could put stress on more developed countries, but a lot of the world doesnt even have internet access to begin with so i’m not sure how much it will actually affect livelihood (i’m aware that it’d affect a LOT of things for sure, but i’m talking ab dangers like life or death situations, n i just cant imagine that being the case? but if you’ve looked into that more than i have n have more to share then lemme know i’m really curious)

sorry, im just bringing this all up in hopes it helps w your fears, n not to invalidate them! bc i totally get it, it’s scary stuff esp when it’s stuff you feel like you have no control over. but there’s a lot of things in life we have no control over, i think it’s best to just focus on what we can control n just try to enjoy today :)

thank u for ask bb <3

[dedbuny]

hi :) im bunny and im a chronic maladaptive daydreamer :)

ive been doing it for about eight years now and im curious to see how many others do it too !

my (only moderately depressing) maladaptive daydreaming story/timeline is below the cut, if that interests u at all :) id love to hear urs as well in the notes !

my first memory of maladaptive daydreaming (aside from playing house and stuff as a kid) was in 2014 when i was in sixth grade. my friend and i would pretend to be certain characters throughout the whole school day, even writing the characters’ names on our schoolwork and calling each other by those names. the most common characters were always sam and dean, which is .. something . sometimes it was the 5sos members. then as the years went by the chosen characters changed depending on my hyperfixation at the time.

in grade eight i had moved on to kpop. this is the worst it gets i promise. mostly the same continued, except this year i realized something revolutionary: i could include myself in the daydream ! so i started pretending i was whatever kpop idol i was interested in on any given day’s friend, every day, for the next five to six years. this is where it became an addiction i guess.

grade nine was more of the same but with some drag race girls sprinkled in. grade ten was more of the same but with some video game characters sprinkled in. as those five to six years went by i continued daydreaming about myself and any chosen person or character i liked, except i realized one other extremely important thing: i could also just make up my own characters…..

so i did . technically the first original character i ever made was in eighth grade, named jacob. as much as i’m now trying to slowly distance myself from the maladaptive daydreaming and all the characters that were born from it, jacob really feels like my friend. they’ve evolved with me every step of the way — they’ve gone through a whole appearance change, their personality has changed, their gender and pronouns have changed, their world views have changed, all alongside my own, so it really does feel like i’ve found a lifelong friend who just gets me. and upon realizing that i’m purposefully creating my own blorbos from my mind to perfectly match my needs and wants and behave exactly like i want them to, i started feeling extremely self conscious about it all.

over the last five to six years i’ve created roughly 23 different characters, all with intertwining relationships and backstories and personalities and interests and styles. it’s been really fun actually, to be able to essentially create an entirely made-up friend group and make up their relationships with each other and watch them all grow. the issue lies in the fact that i’m spending more time imagining i’m them and/or imagining i’m with them than i am actually being in reality.

because all these characters behave in the exact ways i want them to and understand me perfectly inside and out, i’ve become much more easy to irritate. i find myself having a much shorter temper with my friends and family. my ocs know what i’m thinking and always have the perfect answer, because they are me. they know what makes me uncomfortable and avoid doing so, because they are me. they never question anything i say or challenge any of my beliefs, because they are me. in other words , uh oh .

this has all made me extremely paranoid, extremely insecure, extremely anxious and extremely depressed. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t really know who i am anymore, because i don’t really feel like i’m the one who has evolved or grown over the years. i feel like a side character to all the ocs i’ve made who are living my life for me. it feels like all my decisions are made by whoever it is i’m daydreaming as in that moment. i’ve had multiple breakdowns due to remembering that none of this world i’ve built in my head is real, and none of it ever will be. but it all feels unbelievably real. and i feel like if i ever stop i’ll be punched in the face with the consequences of letting what is essentially my imaginary friends control my life for six years.

i’ve thought it might be either evolving into or had initially stemmed from schizophrenia or ocd or did or something similar but i don’t even know anymore. right now it just seems like a combination of having autism, depression, severe anxiety, an extremely vivid imagination, and being chronically lonely.

i truly feel like i’m suffering alone here. i know there are other people who maladaptive daydream but i’ve never heard of anyone who does it like me. if anyone reading this understands what im going through i’d love to hear from you !!!!!

if u got this far into reading, thank u for hearing me out :)

love, bunny (...and jay and marcus and darius and veronica and luca and hiroki and minki and advik and hannah and hanna and nayeon and shauna and joslyn and thomas and christian and jack and claire and marion and peter and frances and oskar and felix and frederick and svante and shaelynn and heather and more)

[thefinalwitness]

i slept all day and im still severely hurty but i think. we're getting there. o|–< im including a readmore to catch up new ppl who are curious bc ive found being open about my chronic pain has helped inform others to their own so!!!! i like sharing

i've had a gradually worsening chronic illness since 2019-2020—it's hard to say for sure when it started, but my physically demanding job at a retail store slowly went from perfectly doable to 'i cant even survive a four hour shift without multiple episodes of hiding in the bathroom just to let some of the pain subside'.

i ultimately had to quit that job in early 2021, and at the time had a writing job that i thought, surely this will be okay! i was wrong. it was so hard to work as consistently as was needed of me. i spent so much time just writing and then sleeping so i might recover fast enough to do more writing. i was ALWAYS late on deadlines no matter how hard i tried.

eventually that job closed down in general, so naturally i lost it, but i know in my heart i would have had to quit within 6 months otherwise. that was late 2021. i've been unemployed since, with no disability because despite ongoing, regular visits with doctors, we dont know WHATS wrong with me, therefore i do not have a diagnosis, therefore i cannot qualify for disability in my area. yippee!

so that's the backstory! i started pain meds last fall and theyve helped A LOT. i can have fun sometimes! i went to pride this year for the first time since 2019!! there's definitely still something wrong, and lately i do believe it's still worsening (at a slower rate than before i was getting treatment at all), but i've gotten through a lot of the guilt for being 'an unemployed, unproductive human being' and have learned how to be kinder and patient with myself. it's not my fault i'm sick. it's not my fault 'my best' doesn't look like other people's. my family loves me not for what i can do for them, but because they just love me.

it's hard to feel your ability to Do Things slip away. how i cant go to amusement parks anymore bc the trip would wipe my ass out for weeks. how i cant even go to a barbecue next door some days bc everything just hurts too much. the simultaneous RESILIENCE you build, the tolerance for your own pain that makes you second-guess if it's even real. it took me so long to realize what i was feeling was NOT normal, that most people don't have to RATION their activities, their chores, their BASIC HUMAN MAINTENANCE to make sure you don't screw yourself over for tomorrow by being in too much pain to move.

today was bad. i had a really stressful day yesterday, and woke up in so much pain it was literally all i could do to sleep. couldn't eat, couldn't go to the bathroom, couldn't sit up, could BARELY speak. it was like my body was screaming at me, "we should be in a COMA right now, we should be UNCONSCIOUS, this is not something humans were designed to consciously endure." and that's WITH 6+ months medical pain management. it genuinely scares me imagining what this would've felt like today if i WASN'T on my meds.

i'm still very in the woods, but i'm trying to make the most of my situation! i'm open to questions if you want to learn more about this, as one of the biggest things that made me realize i needed help was OTHER PEOPLE being open about their chronic condition. it's not pretty, by any means, i've left out the grossest realities here, but i think it's important to share, in case i can do for someone what those people did for me.

thanks for reading!!!! i appreciate being heard on this too. it's scary, i still worry people will think i'm lazy or a crybaby, so it means a lot when people take the time to try and understand.

<3

[atopvisenyashill]

george will tell me the ending but only what i ask him

should i do a genie thing or pretend like i’m d&d and i’m trying to plan out season one. okay three questions-

is my queen elia sand theory correct (this is actually a smart first question bc it also answers “is bran king in harrenhal” i’m not only self obsessed here).

do sansa and arya hug on page?

where is brienne’s primary residence post canon?

no i’m not asking about dany, does it hurt my tummy thinking about what’s going to happen with her, of course but i want to watch it unfold organically, those other three questions are more important.

what would i ask him if i got greenlit to adapt the series but he’s being coy about endgame spoilers in case we get canceled after two seasons

no seriously i need an outline of exactly what happens to all five greyjoys and i need it before anything else.

okay okay okay so you handed your brain child over to dumb & dumber bc they got r+l=j correct. now tell me the REASON for it, what’s the EMOTIONAL, MAGICAL, and NARRATIVE purpose for this george, im willing to go first if the old man wants to test me.

is coldhands anybody important. like just tell me what his deal is so i can decide what to do with benjen.

i know myself and if i bring up coldhands i’m gonna be like “okay so while we’re in the area, hardhome, i have a few questions actually, probably not important for s1 but humor me” then my priority is DOES SANSA DO MAGIC LATER. even if it’s super minor like one of the kids says “i think we’re all wargs” and sansa is like “i wonder if i could still do magic now even with lady dead” i need to know how far into “all the starklings are wargs” i should be getting while all the direwolves are alive!

honestly i’d probably just ask about the maggy prophecy straight up, i wouldn’t introduce it that early but i WOULD want to keep in mind how cersei (and by extension, jaime) dies and under what context she dies in as im writing her in s1, like moreso than a lot of others BECAUSE of the prophecy aspect.

….i mean okay we can get into it now or during s2 but i WILL need a guideline for the hotu visions so i can cook up some cool visuals. it’s for the cinematographer notes!!

i would definitely ask if the tower of joy went down Like Ned Says or if he’s misremembering and what. personally, i’m getting so artistic with his flashbacks & nightmare sequences, but i’m curious what is nightmare and what is the truth. i’m sure grrm would quibble about my use of “truth”

is olyvar the rosby heir. he is the rosby heir right. he’s gonna be robb’s squire it’s important.

while we’re on the subject is big walder going to inherit the twins?

and also will roslin be okay 😭