#but now ive doodled him a bit more and i think i more or less get how to draw him

[matryoshkalex]

so um. the new sonic movie am i right?

i am unwillingly getting really into sonic rn after watching the movie on monday and i think it comes as a shocker to absolutely nobody that shadow is my favorite character. literally every time he was on screen i was making grabby hands bc hes so. CUTE. i love him

me and my friend actually dressed up for this movie like we did for the my hero movie in october hehe, it was a lot of fun! i also..... may or may not have bought and started playing the sonic x shadow generations game on the switch today ,,,,,,,,,, heh

[sunnixsunshine]

*spritzes Sanji with a water bottle* Down boy down! Leave those love handles alone!

A big factor in Zoro’s inability to lose this last bit of weight months and months later is just the general fact that pregnancy changes your body :d his fat distribution is different is all. Also doesn’t help that he most likely experienced quite a lot of stress that just made things harder that first year Sora was born. He’s still just as strong, nothing’s changed in that department, he did regular exercises that got more and more limited until he physically couldn’t do those exercises anymore. His stretch marks will probably fade more within a another couple years but probably wont be gone entirely, just faint lines—also I thought itd be funny to give him a mullet. But also its for good reason. It’s a physical indication that he isnt really paying attention to his needs, hes either just ignoring them or paying too much attention to Sora’s needs, which is reasonable, shes a toddler. Eventually hes forced to get a haircut, hes gotten into a better habit of taking care of his hygiene—still bathes once a week but hey at least hes using actual soap now that isnt 4 in 1 or plain water.

I think his weight and physical appearance would be a sore spot because this man has been training rigorously since he was like 10. Hes always had a very fit, sharp, toned body. He fully expected to have that body back shortly after giving birth and when that didnt happen in true Zoro fashion he tried to speed run his bedrest to train only a week postpartum. It didnt work out obviously, hes still human, hes still a slave to his body’s limitations. I think that now that hes back with the crew and sees that theyre fine with his own eye, hes far less stressed, and collaborating on a good dietary plan with both Chopper and Sanji would eventually produce the physique Zoro would prefer having (Chopper keeps saying he’s perfectly healthy this way, hes not underweight or overweight, that this is a common aftermath with pregnancy, but noooooo Zoro wont listen and is insistent that he wants the rest of this weight gone tomorrow) which wouldnt be what it was like before. The closest I can think of would be a typical body that Ive seen many wwe wrestlers have which is apparently called an endomorph body type? Either way, his body has changed, he has to really learn how to accept that because obviously he doesnt think too highly of his physical appearance in the comic above.

Also I went ham and gave him a mole on his tiddie that tbh I think Sanji likes to kiss :) ^3^

Anyway heres a cute bonus doodle of daddy-daughter workout!

[a-bit-lonely]

Ive discovered that doodling my blorbo from my games talking about what im studying as i study helps quite a bit actually.

So heres some of my doodles of Mirage Ultrakill having sociology opinions with explanations of the sociology stuff under the cut.

Doodle 1

Doodle 2

Doodle 3

doodle 4

Doodle 1

Secularization theory is a sociological theory which was originally thought up by Emile Durkheim. It basically says that as a society gets more modern, the religiosity of the people in that society declines, eventually leading to the complete disappearance of religion.

This theory was based on several inaccurate assumptions. Namely: people are less religious now than they were in the past, and scientific thought will inevitably lead to a decline in religious belief. As it turns out, neither of these assumptions are accurate...

But because this theory was introduced in the early days of sociology, it was just kind of accepted as fact even though there was no data to really support it.

Over time sociologists began doing studies on religiosity and found some major flaws in secularization theory. There wasn't evidence to support its conclusions despite decades of study, new religious movements continued to emerge in societies which were supposedly secularized, and religion remained an important influence in politics globally.

Anyways, Mirage Ultrakill strikes me as the kind of person who would hear about secularization theory and get excited because she's a bit of an asshole who thinks that religious belief is a comfort blanket shielding people from reality. Basically: Mirage Ultrakill strikes me as a reddit atheist.

Doodle 2

This doodle is right next to my notes on a concept coined by Thomas Luckmann called "invisible religion".

Don't get me wrong, Luckmann has made great contributions to sociology. He wrote The Social Construction of Reality which was hugely influential and also good shit. But... invisible religion does not make sense to me.

Rather than using a more accepted definition of religion, Luckmann made his own which asserted that religion is thought or action above an animal level. So, dear reader, if you are transcending your biological nature, then you are doing a religion. Eating with a fork? That's religion. Reading words? Religion.

To be fair to Luckmann, he was writing Invisible Religion at a time when Secularization theory was still widely accepted. At the time it was also believed that religion acted as the social glue that held society together, so Luckmann was trying to explain why society wouldn't fall apart as religion disappeared. And his explanation was that actually being human is religion.

But yeah, I reckon Mirage Ultrakill would be mean to him.

Doodle 3

This doodle is next to my notes on pluralism (pretty much just multiple religions existing in the same time/place). Specifically next to a section referring to pluralism as a "marketplace of ideas" which is a phrase I've heard far far too many libertarians throw around.

So basically, this doodle was a visceral reaction to seeing the phrase "marketplace of ideas". Honestly, it makes sense as a metaphor in this context as long as it isn't extended to far.

Doodle 4

This doodle was next to my notes on a section of my textbook that was talking about medieval monks (honestly why it was talking about that isn't too important, it was just some stuff about discrediting secularization theory). Anyway, did you know that a lot of Monasteries also brew a lot of beer and have done so since the Middle Ages? I think that's cool.

Anyway, this doodle happened because I was bored and Mirage Ultrakill strikes me as an underage drinker (which you minors out there should not be doing btw, it doesn't end well).

[funnywormz]

🏳️‍🌈Rimmer...

send me 🏳️‍🌈 and a character for my lgbt headcanon and a doodle

HELL YEAH >:3

my headcanons on rimmer bounce around a little bit but these are the most constant ones/my favs! some elaboration/explanation below

gay: i headcanon rimmer as gay (specifically homoromantic)! he is just gay to me. i cannot imagine him with a woman, and all of his attempts to act straight and manly in canon feel kinda silly like he's trying Too Hard. i could go on a rant abt this topic for hours but ppl in the rd fandom already somewhat know what im talking abt lol. he's at least some flavour of queer no doubt abt it

asexual: ive seen this headcanon around a bit and iirc at least one half of grant naylor has said that rimmer doesn't rlly feel attraction or have much libido and his attempts at sexual pursuits are just him trying to prove something (this also relates to him being gay but yknow)......... this headcanon has grown on me a lot and i like it. personally i feel like it fits him and makes sense for his character yknow. i don't rlly have much to say abt this one lol i just saw someone else with this headcanon one day and was like "oh yeah that checks out. asexuality be upon ye" and that was it. also a character with a nickname/alter ego called "ace" literally being ace is too good of an opportunity to pass up tbh

nonbinary: probably the most niche/unpopular of these headcanons but hear me out. rimmer does a lot of posturing and protesting around his sexuality but he also does the same thing with his gender, always trying to prove himself as a manly man despite that not being who he is, making snide remarks abt ace wearing woman's clothing, the moments when he wears women's clothing himself, the fact that low rimmer is blatantly gnc etc......... also he's been a hologram for most of his life? death? existence? now and the entire human race is extinct. gender and sex and whatever are kinda completely irrelevant to him now. and i think that for rimmer, gender was always more of a cage that he forced himself into rather than something he ever had genuine enthusiasm about. also im nonbinary and i love Projecting and also generally fucking around with characters' genders

(side note: ik ive been using he/him exclusively for rimmer here, and im doing that bc those are his pronouns in canon and what ppl are familiar with, but personally i headcanon his pronouns as he/she/they/xe)

(side side note: im aware that rimmer is far too repressed and confused to ever realise that he is gay much less that xe is ace and nonbinary LOL. these are not things i would expect her to ever fully realise abt himself. but like. in theory. deep down. in an ideal universe. this is how i see him truly being below all the internalised issues etc)

[actualbird]

hiii, first off im gonna say I love your fics, and I love your analysis of all the NXX boys, it rlly made me wanna learn more about the non-luke characters lol. (plus that one fic of yours that was omega luke going into heat permanently lives inside my head)

I just wanted to say abt the ask that wonders if Rosa knows Luke's illness is chronic - he tells her explicitly that the doctors have told him he has less than three years of life left in story 3 of under the milky way. it's right at the start of story 3, in the letter he sends rosa.

which also leads me to a question about the canonicity? canon-ness? canonnity? of the cards. I'm sorry if I'm just completely out of the loop, I dropped ToT for a bit before coming back and I have a terrible memory. but are all the events in these cards canon? because like the asker said, it rlly would change the dynamic if Rosa thought the illness was just chronic. (also I forgot if he mentioned the 3 year thing elsewhere). post-utmw Rosa knows he only has 3 years left but does regular rosa know?

I think I'm just incoherent and I'm sorry for the long ask haha it was rlly rambly but yeah that's basically what I wanted to ask.

hi anon!! first off oh gosh, thank you for your kind words!!

im so glad you like both my analyses and my fics (especially the omega luke fic gosh, it’s been so long since then, i almost forgot i wrote that HAHA)

now in regards to that ask youre mentioning, i fear there mightve been a misunderstanding! cuz in that ask, we were pertaining to the mc that exists within the Main Story Route. whereas the mc youre describing is the mc that exists within the Luke Personal Story route. forgive me if i misunderstood but to explain, eventually, main story and personal story (aka where all the respective cards, respective personal stories, and probably even the team events in a wibbly wobbly timey wimey way, exist in) diverges

to better visualize this, ive made a chart. but you caught me at a time i was doodling and had my drawing tablet plugged in so we’re all getting a taste of my bad handwriting

so if you look at this, you'll first notice how i forgot the number 6 in main story and then rushed to squeeze it in. but more importantly this is what i mean by diverging

based on what i remember, im pretty sure (....okay semi-pretty sure) that for all of the boys, main stories 1-5 has happened. this is because cards will mention dangerous/busy work (nxx work) and thus mc must be part of the team first for that work to happen. main stories 1-5 also must have happened because thats how she meets/works with (or re-meets, in luke's case) all of the boys one by one. after which, the personal story routes (along with all the cards) happens in a divergent timeline

there are some caveats tho. very very early cards of luke (and for this ask i will focus on luke's divergent personal story route timeline, just for simplicities sake.....should i abbreviate too? Luke's DPSRT = divergent personal story route timeline. Luke's MSRT = main story route timeline. perfect. that totally makes things less confusing!) mention mc not yet knowing where luke was during his 8 year disappearance, meaning that those cards MUST have happened BEFORE main story 5, when he tells the truth about where he went

barring little bits like those though, this divergence generally stands. the biggest proof of the divergence showed up in main story 9 because at that point, mc in Luke's DPRST already Knew about luke's illness. but mc in Luke's MSRT does not, and does not know as much as of the details as well.

another smaller proof that Luke's DPRST and Luke's MSRT are divergent is aaron. in Luke's DPRST, mc meets aaron for the very first time in bloom chapter personal story 4. but in Luke's MSRT, mc meets aaron for the first time in main story 9.

now on canonicity? my answer is yes

on like, everything.

barring the AU cards (like sott and gufeng cards, yknow), everything in all timelines is canon. just NOT at the same time. you can only choose one and---

oh my god wAIT THIS RESPONSE IS ONE I CAN USE TO ANSWER ANOTHER ASK IN MY INBOX, SIT TIGHT ANON 1

CUZ I GOT THIS ASK A FEW DAYS AGO FROM AN ANON I WILL CALL ANON 2:

and my answer to anon 2 over here is

i think the prologue is a dream sequence or some kind of metaphor or some kind of fever dream, yeah, but one that takes place in the Main Story Route Timeline specifically. and that something went wrong. terribly wrong, though idk what yet exactly.

the reason i think this happens in the MSRT in particular is cuz of 1) it's a prologue to main story in particular, i feel + 2) because of what we call "pulls" in this game: we use a Tear (of themis) to receive a pull of a card, which are called Visions.

all the cards of happier romances take place in divergent timelines, and these are visions because maybe it is MSRT mc who is having visions of these different possibilities that couldve happened, if only she werent in this timeline she chose, in the main story timeline where so many horrible things happen.

.....i feel as if ive said the word "timeline" way too many times to be making sense now, but theres my answers, anon 1 and anon 2!!

i hope something in here was useful and/or interesting ;w;

[raw-law]

rahhhhhhhgghhgg ive been less active since the servers creation bc now i just talk to you directly more often. but, i still like to send asks because its fun. its like mail, i send a little message, you guyz read it. then i get a notification with a reply like a day or so later and its so thrilling to me. i love mail so much. i love buying thingz online and then getting a little treat in the mail. it makes me lowkey ecstatic! i actually just bought an mcr shirt because they released merch for the 20th anniversary of their sophomore album, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. i'll forget i ordered it and then in a few weeks, a little treat for moi!!!! j'adore les petits cadeaux pour moi!!!!

what is your opinion on the shift from sending letters to just calling or texting people instead? do you think instant forms of communication are a betterment for society or do they ruin the fun?

-🦌

Light:

Good to see you again, Deer Anon!

And I'm glad you like sending asks; I like reading them as well, even though sometimes I mightn't have time to answer. It's good you got a little treat for yourself, you deserve it.

Anyways, to answer your question.

I think instant forms of communication is wonderful. Without it, after all, we wouldn't have the chance to be running this blog, and I wouldn't be able to meet Ryuzaki. It's also convenient when people want to get in touch with us, and without it, we wouldn't be so developed and safe.

However, it is rather regretful that not a lot of people write letters any longer because of this. Letters are a sincere, heartfelt form of communication, and in my opinion, so much more worth treasuring than messages on a phone screen. Through a handwritten, decorated letter, you can find out so much more about the letter's writer, and I find that a very beautiful thing. I still write letters to my ex-teachers, though not as often as I used to when I was a kid and not yet with a phone. And that's a little sad.

Honestly, both have their pros and cons. But my view is that, at the same time when texting friends and calling family, we could write a simple letter to them, asking about their day, and maybe draw little doodles on it. I'm sure that'll make their day, and maybe also the days after that. :]

Thanks for the question, Deer Anon. I loved answering this one.

L:

ahh... i had a feeling that might happen with the addition of a discord server.. eh, what can you do. the server's fun anyways.

but i am glad you enjoy the asks so much. i'm also glad there's people who still have an appreciation for mail in general. i too quite enjoy the simple act of getting a box i've forgotten about and tearing it open, though it is a little ironic considering i'm not really fond of physical gifts, unless they're practical or edible. i just like the unboxing bit. i hope you have fun opening up that mcr shirt of yours. it certainly sounds special. rock on, you hopelessly reactive romantic.

as for my opinion on instant communication... it's all rather conflicting..

i appreciate the advancement of technology. it's played a large part in improving our daily lives, and like light has said, it's given me the opportunity to meet him, along with other people close to me and the askers on this blog.

... but it all feels a bit much to me, at times.

people having the capability to simply.. question me whenever they please feels too weirdly personal.. i know it's irrational, but i just don't like it. i don't like that pressure. nor do i like the way the formatting of words has changed because of it. it's just not something for me. i'm only really alright with it when it comes to people i consider special, but even then i feel like i'd enjoy it more if we communicated through things like letters or even emails. have you seen Simon VS. The Homo Sapiens Agenda? it's a favorite of mine. sometimes i catch myself yearning to be somebody's blue. it really is irrational..

thank you for the ask, it was a pleasure to ponder. always fun to see the tidbits you share. :)

[cinnachaos]

ok so morgan lore (sorry this is so long , ive had lore cooking for these guys for a while and i never really fully finished it but here it is) (aslo i typed this all out half asleep i kight edit it later but maybe not idk)

warning for death and schtuff below

he lives on an apocalypse-ish planet where there are frequent lockdowns because of the inner monster stuff (refer to that other infodumping post) and unfortunately beth and jerry both got stuck in monster rampaging form and had to be exterminated/couldnt be found or anchored back into human form (they dont currently have a cure but later on with rick and morgan home they make one)

summer has a missing arm from a fucky wucky with a monster so she uses a robotic arm , she also has a shorter cut thats a bit fluffier and she doesnt wear a ponytail

rick has to leave the universe because he had a Monster Momento and fucked with a group of ricks so he wanted to make sure his morty and summer werent brought into it (his original family is all gone, it took him a LOT of tries to find morgan and summer so he cares a shit ton abt them)

morgan goes oh shit what the hell and takes a portal gun his rick stole and tries to find him but miami morty/mimi sees him thinking hes a rogue morty and goes can we keep him pretty please rick and even after he says no shoots a morty manipulator chip at him and drags him home like a wet cat

they go on adventures together, morgan usually wearing headphones and using weapons based off of games he likes because he doesnt like killing things so he does that to make it less AAAAGH for him (ill send my five thousand headcanons for the miamis and canon stuff about the monsters later)

one time he has a Moment with his monster form because unlike rick who at this point has most control over it bc hes coped with his trauma fairly well after mimi and rick get hurt and they have to heal him since his monster form usually damages him a lot (mainly through bruising, and if he uses his spikes or blades, bleeding)

they have a lot of fun unnttiiilll monster rick/his original rick comes to take him home and mistakes them for kidnappers even though theyve been taking good care of him so they both get into a fight and monster rick decides to take him home and keep him in the morty mind blower area of their house until he remembers which causes a huge freakout on morgans behalf

the miamis and monsters (summer and rick) go find him but go oh fuck its those guys and fight and then morgan has to go like guys what the fuck i like both of you and consider both of you family can you STOP FIGHTING so they go oh uh ok and now they have to share custody of morgan /lhj

also yeah monster care/research was prioritized in earth mv87 12 (theres more but i forgor) and it eventually calms down from a mass epidemic to just mildly dangerous

heres an old doodle of them since u got to the wnd of the infodump 🎉🎉🎉 (idk when ill draw sumker maybe later, just probably wont be soon cus im not hyperfixated on r&m anymore even if i still like it😭)

actually fuckit im putting my headcanons n shit here

ok so mv87/monster things

★ morgan wears headphones while on adventures to avoid hearing loud noises like gunshots, usually listens to splatoon music on loop

★ morgan has a habit of doing splatoon win animations sometimes when he successfully finishes an adventure

★ morgan was originally caught by mimi with pocket mortys stuff, he considers both the miamis and monsters his family, also very close to chaos rick and morty (another friends rick and morty) (hyperions-world chars!!!)

★ morgan is very close to his ricks but kind of scared of other ricks, he knows they can be really mean and devalue their mortys and him being really sensitive/fragile he cant handle that

★ morgan iscomfortable with miami mortys (/p!!!) kisses on the head to him and loves physical affection from any of his family members/close friends even if hes like eeeeeeeeehhhh from other people

★ morgan has a bad habit of getting extremely attached to ricks very quickly and is like a nice rick magnet 😭 hes befriended multiple ricks in the citadel like cop rick and enthusiastically waves at them anytime he sees them

★ morgan sometimes sways back and forth like an inkling/octoling idol position and has a few weapons a rick made him based off of splatoon/pokemon that he uses CONSTANTLY and will never go more than 5 feet away from him at all times

★ morgan can and will pull all of his family members into his hyperfixes/sp/ins. he will. hes done it with splatoon and pokemon . he will drag you in eventually/j

★ monster rick is really stoic/apathetic looking but really deeply cares for his family and he doesnt apply to the typical rick "idgaf about u haha fuck u u little pussyfart morty" /LHJ he tries his best to be a good grandpa and guardian even with his traumas and inner monster dealio

★ monster rick is always partially in monster form cus he thinks it looks cool, he also has a tooth gap between his front teeth

★ the mv87s do not know what sleep is. they constantly have eye bags except for sometimes summer because shes the most early bird of them all and she is very responsible

★ morgan is trans , i am heavily debating on making summer trans too. maybe. m a y b e.

miami headcanons

★ miami rick spoils the shit out of miami morty even though he wont admit it to anyone and if morty brings it up rick lectures him on the way home/lhj

★ MIMI FUCKING LOVES MONSTER HIFH AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PRY THAT HEADCANON OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS

★ miami rick goes by he/she with close friends/family but he/him or he/they w anyone else

★ miami morty isnt as smart as rick but just about as powerful when it comes to strength and fighting smarts? not counting weapons and stuff

★ miami morty acts like an absolute angel around rick for the most part but is menacing as hell to people behind his back LMAO. oh and hes an absolute girlboss, a diva who could and would throw you out a window like an empty soda bottle

★ miami rick is very protective of morty in the way that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable because of his outfit or if anyone hits on him or just any creepy things in general rick will hate crime them

★ miami morty likes to jokingly flirt but sometimes will accidentally do it with other mortys and go oh wait thats me oops. well its still funny

★ miami morty also has a habit of platonically kissing his friends on the cheek/head like you would a pet or something and then has to awkwardly explain its not romantic 😭😭 (some fanart relating to pcoket mortys gave me this idea actually)

★ miami rick lets morty paint his nails sometimes, begrudgingly but it makes morty really happy so he acts like he hates it to keep up appearances but likes seeing morty happy

★ MIAMI MORTY USES HIS LOLLIPOP AS A SORT OF ORAL STIM, morgan would probably get him something that wouldnt murder his teeth to have in his mouth n stim with

★ mimi he/any moment

AGH. OK. FINALLY DONE. there. this is all like months old please excuse that i mostly am involved in like sploon and pokemon since theyre sp/ins not just hyperfixes lol

[mostspecialgirl]

Insiders (2023) - redrawn from 2019

(rambling under the cut)

thank you tumblr for compressing my image down to disgusting crusty poop pixels on the app

i love to do a new big reference piece for my babies every few years, and the time has finally come due… and WOW !!! LOOK AT THAT IMPROVEMENT !!! everyone looks Normal And Alive and Non Bugeyed !!! everyone is a little less pasty white (im talking about you, tanith) !!! i think they all show a lil bit of nice personality in their faces now too which is lovely for me. i love to see my children happy. now to write about each of them

angelo’s line art has the least effort into it here and i was GONNA redraw him but honestly if anyone is going to look like a scrunkly little bug IT IS GOING TO BE HIM !!!!!! It’s been a minute since i’ve drawn his body-saws and on a whim i made them red AND !!! IT WORKS !!! I’M A FAN !!! i think he’s due for a main-outfit change though. not sure. i struggled with finding him a natural-looking skin color too because i’ve slowly made him as a person less undead-corpse-like and i think i’ve found a good spot. for now.

i pulled the perfect angora out of my mind and honestly i am shocked at what i have created. she looks so sweet and kind and innocent here (as she should) that to any unfamiliar observers you’d be hard pressed to tell she’s a big lazy gross vulgar piece of shit rat of a fishwoman. and that is EXACTLY how it should be. i have lost the plot for too long, giving her more sharp edges and a hunched back and wild expressions, but the standard angora really should be deceptively pretty. because that’s my girl.

Mila looks great as always. What more can I say? She’s always perfect. I had fun giving her lips for the first time!

AMPH … MY ADISHESHA … (slamming my fist down) I’ve finally perfected him… isn’t he pretty? isn’t he so pretty? I chose to draw him in his naga/incarnated form instead of the shadow form this time because i wasn’t lazy. I decided to throw a big coat on him, originally intended to be more lab coat-y, but influenced by how fucking cold it is outside i allowed myself to give him a big fur collared one. because if you can’t tell i love giving characters though. i think it worked out well for AMPH here, and now I have to be putting him in all sorts of cowls and capes until the end of time.

TANITH !!!!!!!! GGGGYRRRRAAAAHHHHH!!!! LOOK AT MY GIRL !!!!!!! I’M FERAL OVER THIS!!!!!! LOOK AT MY IMPROVEMENT !!!!!!! it’s been a hot minute since i’ve colored her, but i changed her palette in my mind a while ago AND looking at it here ? existing ? i’ve done it again. My lovely little sword daughter … i know i JUST doodled her but christ something was in the water here because SHE LOOKS SO GOOD. this is the best ive drawn any of them. i gave her some nice clothes this time instead of her usual big t-shirt because i realized i only gave her that in the past because i didn’t know how to draw clothes.

speaking of “best ive ever drawn any of them” somnus … THIS IS HIM … i’ve gotten close to capturing him in all the times i’ve drawn him but i think i’ve finally pinned him down here. and of course, he’s hitting the same pose as his wife because they’re cute like that. i ripped his colors straight from the solo reference piece i made for him a while back which has held up quite wonderfully.

FINALLY !!! SETH IS HERE !!! HE HAS ARRIVED IN PROPER INSIDERS GROUP ART !!! he looks pretty good here. i think he could still look BETTER, but for the purpose of having a nice group reference piece he looks pretty great i think. I struggled pinning down some colors for his clothes and was pretty lazy with the Purple Under His Hair That Glows BUT WHO CARES !!!! LOOKS GOOD TO ME !!! LOOK AT MY HANDSOME SON !!! i also decided to stick his full name on here that i’ve kept vaulted up for the reason that i’ve never had to put it anywhere before. if you know why he has “-zoe adamiel” as his chosen full name, congrats, you’re a huge fucking nerd.

eventually, i’m probably going to tack daisy, kane, sampi and demiurge onto the right side of this piece, but that’s for another day down the line. thanks for reading!

[cerealmonster15]

do u wanna see what they used to look like. well im going to show u anyway but under a readmore bc im embarrassed but not enough to not do it LOL <3

i had to look at it so you do also. tho some of you were here during the dark ages and probably saw these in realtime,,, ur so strong and brave for that FDSJKLGHDKSLFJ really anyone following me while i was in college is so brave i was really. hm. anyway look at baby's first digital doodles

actually ya heres the very first post

like im not gonna lie it's hard to look at LOL. but i gotta give past me credit of like,,, trying!!! being adventurous enough to play in the space and try to figure out colors and shit even tho i very much didnt know what i was doing and also was very aware that i didnt know what i was doing lol. i ALSO had a very old, small, partially busted tablet i took that my mom wasnt using and it didnt have pen pressure lol

ok this isnt digital but like. god damn i forgot how mad i was about ^ that LOL it was literally my first ao3 fic and i think my first Proper Fic,,, me being mad and writing angsty fanfic about it 😤

sdfklsdgjkl god. ok this was me trying to figure out a facecanon for doc, ultimately i landed on curly bun which is apparently a favorite of mine bc SEVERAL!!!! of my ocs!!! ALSO have curly buns!!!!! i think theyre just fun to draw lol. i was also still really not grasping the "less is more" concept with details so like, i wanted these guys to look kinda battle worn/scarred/doc i guess i was trying to give bags under his eyes but i didnt really know how to do that subtley lol. also i was in the animal crossing esque nose era / it was a relatively popular way to do noses as simple shapes on tumblr at the time i think?

wjfldkshgjdf i was big mad..................

WAIT WAIT WAIT

god. does anyone fucking remember the yeehaw saga. probably not but it was a running joke on my blog for a while i think JKFLDSJFKLDSJ mostly me + two mutuals that enabled me + some anons and maybe other mutuals idr but there were a lot of SHITPOSTS as they say, of church in cowboy hats singing country songs. sometimes tucker and/or donut were there. i think tucker was trying to kill church about it. i dont remember where or why it started tho l o l. i think i was calling it the yeehaw discourse. good times.

i can see here i was still putting eyes too high in the skull lol i didnt really learn better eye placement til college in a painting class,,, anyway i was always on that donut rarepair grind ksdljflks

GRIMMONS KFDSLJFKL this was from one of those emoji prompt request things someone sent me. im surprised anyone ever sent me prompts but quite a lot of stuff i found were from those. maybe people were just enabling me JKFJDSKLFH but also i feel like doing draw prompt things was more common in the 2010s compared to now, we were just alway sending people things for funsies. also i dont know if that worlds worst grif cup is something from the show or if i just was like "sarge would give him that" fjksdljfkg also. blond simmons era. i literally have no memory of every drawing him that way but apparently i did??????? i also kept swapping around where their swapped body parts/cyborg bits are lol like you can see in the simmnut doodle that i had drawn simmons w/the long curly hair [which was also red but it's not a colored doodle there lol] and then for some reason i guess i changed to short blond curly??? i literally dont know why i did that. i dont have ANY memory of drawing simmons this way even tho like, i do have vague memory of drawing this specific post bc i hadnt drawn many shirtless people ever lololol. but like literally whenever ive thought back to my rvb facecanons ive been like "yeah i kept giving everyone long curly hair, like donut doc simmons grif-" WHERE DID THE SHORT BLOND BITCH COME FROM??? I DONT REMEMBER DOING THAT!!!

ok this one was also

a pose prompt someone sent me KJFLJDSKLFJDSK IT'S SARGE WITH GRILLBY FROM UNDERTALE LOL i did not have any experience drawing Old Men. i still dont tbh but id like to think i know a little bit more about looking at references and doing my best

oooh ok here was a progress post!!! i think ive always drawn donut w/a bun lol theres like maybe a handful of times i was like "hmm maybe i should try short hair since something something army haircuts let's try something else" but i always went back to the bun lol it just felt RIGHT. ALSO blood gulch was a sham army anyway so who says they gotta follow hair regulations..... also i can do whatever i want forever in my mind palace jkfjdklsjfkl

what happened to me that made me suddenly afraid of coloring things. i dont know something in the last few years snapped in my brain and i was like I CANT DO THIS and i havent been so adventurous... where is the whimsy i need my WHIMSY!!! i knew my shit was bad back in the day but that DIDNT STOP ME!!! BESTIE GET IT TOGETHER!!!

WAIT okay now i have to just post all of these bc even tho they look really bad it's just me "redrawing" [so loosely using that term lol] some of my favorite simmons and donut dialogue from the show lmao 😭

like at first i was like what the hell is going on here- but now i remember the dialogue FLDJSKFLHSG those scenes are so funny i forgot about them GOD i love when donut and simmons are megabitches to each other theyre SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYY donut was such a funny scene partner for literally anyone when the writers would remember to use him for more than an occasional one liner. sorry i have nothing to say about the actual drawings here i just love those scenes from the source material. actually i lied i do have things to say about the drawing lol idr why when i also went ot the short hair simmons era i changed where he and grif had the body mod things, like i just have two half assed spots on his neck whereas before it was a robo eye 🤔 maybe it didnt feel realistic or i was just overwhelmed drawing all that lol idr. also i see my arms too long disease even tho they dont even have full bodies lol i can TELL i was fucking it up. thats always been an issue ive had and tbh i still do it but HOPEFULLY not AS bad / i catch it more often now lol. arms too long hands too small head too big you know how it is......... gotta do full body practice more lolol

anyway simmons pretending to be a blue and donut not knowing what the fuck is going on and then arguing with simmons about it is so so so funny to me those two are little BITCHES forever i love it. therye so funny. underrated duo of the century for real.

okay i dont want to share any more bc im too embarrassed/this just turned into a blab session [what else is new. i always do that. JKFLJDSFKLDSJG] ummmmmmm thats all for cereal's trip down memory lane FOR NOW!!!! bye

r..... RED TEAM!!!! RED VS BLUE JUMPSCARE AWWOOOOO OOGA BOOGA BLAWHAUWAHWAAAAA 👻👹👾

you know. i had to go look at my old rvb drawings to try and remember what any of my not donut facecanons looked like and A. i took so much psychic damage in there........ and B. i apparently never really figured out what i wanted simmons to look like. like i just remembered drawing him w/long red curly hair but then a lot of what i found was short and blond?? sure. whatever. i think now id do short curly red hair but i didnt wanna color anything today lol

anyway also doc is here bc in my mind he married into red team via donut teehee :3

[the-kipsabian]

So. What I think about you. It’ll take some telling to get there. Might get a bit sappy but here goes nothing.

So I’m a pretty new fan of wrestling, less than a year of proper watching still. It was a bit of a spontaneous thing, a friend made watching another sport would post things, and eventually I decided to take a peek and see what all the fuss was about. And in the end, I really enjoyed what I saw. I could get into that, but it’s not exactly important to where I’m going with this.

I don’t remember exactly when I first saw Kip. It was after his feud with OC, but still close to new years. And I thought, geez this guy is neat. Had no idea what was going on with any of his past work, I just liked the way he moved, I guess. So I thought, let me dig a little deeper into this. Eventually I ended up at your blog, and let me tell you, you were a hell of a resource to this baby fan. I’ve always been a bit nervous about following new people (had some bad experiences in the past I’m not eager to repeat) so I think I sort of lurked a while before I actually hit that follow, probably by accident honestly.

So then was Kip and Penny’s trip to Japan, and this is where I got introduced to Chris Brookes, who I’m not sure I even have words for how fond I am of him now. So I very much attribute that to you, and I’m pretty thankful for the introduction to an absolute bastard giraffe man who I adore.

Eventually I got a bit more settled into my new interest, started posting a bit on tumblr, reblogging gifs and the like. And then, just like how I got into wrestling, another fairly distant mutual joked about being interested in what they were seeing. So we talked a bit, I recommended some of what got me interested, and I think in the end that got me a new friend. In a way, I can wrap that back around to you, too.

I see that you struggle a lot. Sometimes it’s with writing, or art. You still make cool things, and I’m pretty awed by that. I’m looking forward to what you’ll make next. I doodled a rabbit on the back of a shopping list today, for the first time in months. It felt like a little victory. I wonder sometimes if your writing, your art, feels like that too. I’ll still celebrate it as if it is.

I’m not really sure how to end this. I guess I just want to say, we aren’t exactly friends, or at least, I don’t feel I can claim that we are right now. But I do think about you, and root for you. And in myriad little ways, you’ve changed my life. That feels a little strange to write, but it’s not untrue. I suppose no one can really know what impact we have on anyone else. At any rate, I hope you’re doing well, I saw you were sick this week.

-🐓

first of all: CHICKEN ANON YOURE BACK HELLO!! its been a while i hope youre doing well! 💜

legit when i read this first thing in the morning, i fucking cried. just.. theres a lot to unpack here, i try not to ramble but this. something like this is literally why ive been keeping on posting everything i do despite occasionally feeling like theres no point to sharing anything. ive always been telling myself that i first do it for myself, and then share it in case theres someone somewhere down the line that might be looking for this content later

and to hear that there is even one (1) person literally like this out there, using my blog and the content i put out to familiarize themselves with my blorbo, im... like oh my god 💜💜

im really glad it has helped you make friends too 💜 and while i dont know who you are, i would consider us friends no matter what tho, especially after hearing this. so glad things like this have helped you to get more into the community, thats amazing! and to touch up on the art thing, yeah its hard at times to pick things up again after a long while of not doing anything - i literally wrote a drabble last night after not writing anything for a week and i havent even seen my drawing tablet in like two months now lmao - but im so happy to hear about your grocery list rabbit!! little doodles here and there are definitely better than nothing, especially if you enjoy doing them!

youre so precious anon, i hope youre having a good day. im still slightly sick, getting better now thankfully so i should be fully operational the next few days and oooooh when that happens its all over you fuckers when i get back to writing (this is affectionate i swear LMAO)

thank you, i love you 💜

[reidsnose]

doodles

overview: reader doodles on her hands a lot and spencer has to give into the temptation of coloring it in

genre: flufffffff

a/n: sorry ive havent posted a fic in like a week, ive been in quite a slump but i had this idea well after midnight but i just had to write it so lmk what u guys think of this one :)

masterlist

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doodling on your hands: a once nervous habit that had seeped into your everyday life and now is just a regular habit. nearly everyday you would come to work with clean hands and get home with a mini art gallery on your non dominant one.

Spencer admired this from the moment he noticed it. at first he thought you had a tattoo but when you came back the next day with it completely gone, he was a tad confused, only to catch you doodling on that very same hand a couple hours later on the jet. he thought maybe it was an occasional thing, a habit you'd quit once you got better situated into the team, but after nearly a year you still left work almost everyday with some cutesy sketches drawn on your hand.

Spencer found himself looking forward to your doodles, imagining in his head what you might draw each day, and thinking of all the colors you would add if you had the time. being the great profiler that he is, he noticed a pattern: you subconsciously correlated your doodles with your mood.

after especially hard cases or just bad days you always drew roses.

when you were very happy you drew all sorts of fruits.

anxiousness bore little swampy creatures and lily pads.

tired days filled your hands with random, intricate designs that you didn't even have to try hard to make.

and content was anything else.

he was so impressed and absolutely adored your little coping mechanism. watching you concentrate on making those teeny pieces of art simply for your own pleasure was definitely a sight to see. the way your eyebrows furrowed and tongue poked out a bit was absolutely positively adorable. and soon he had noticed that he was looking forward less to the doodles and more to watching you draw them. and after that he began looking forward to just you.

you were sat on the jet with your back to the corner of the last seat on the plane, creating a pattern of roses on the back of your hand. Spencer plopped down in the seat next to you, growing tired of watching from so far away.

"that bad, huh?" he asked, noticing the type of flower you were gracing your hand with.

"hm?" you looked up, confused.

"you only doodle roses on bad days." he explained, pointing to your hand.

"what? no i don't!" you defended, " i just think roses are neat."

to be fair, you were having a bad day but he could've profiled that without the doodle. he cant be right, can he? there was no way you had a mood system for your doodles! unless there was.

"repetitive strokes are therapeutic, so roses being rough days make sense. the spiral in the middle followed by however many layered petals you want is a perfectly repetitive while still interesting enough to doodle."

"if i didn't know any better i'd say you've been spying on me, Dr. Reid," you teased, enjoying the slight rouge that appeared on his cheeks.

"what! no! i'm- i'm a profiler i notice patterns! i just- spying sounds creepy." he stammered.

"ok. how about admiring." you jabbed, turning a little red yourself.

"fine. but you know coloring helps too." he flipped back to the old topic of conversation.

"unfortunately i only have the standard blue, black and red ink."

"roses are red." he chuckled.

"interesting point," you bent down and reached into your bag, pulling out a red pen and handing it to him, "knock yourself out."

"what?" he looked at you slightly bewildered.

"coloring is therapeutic, you said it yourself. and you and i both know that you need something to relax you after a case like that. we all do." you explained, trying to be as nonchalant as you could knowing his skin would touch yours.

he grabbed the pen and clicked it open, coloring smoothly and slowly inside the lines you had already made in black, careful not to go over them and smudge the ink. you and him both tried your best to ignore the warmth shooting through your bodies from every place your hands touched. his fingertips lightly grazing your knuckles as he worked.you worked your way up your arm, giving you both space to work and by the time you landed, you had a half sleeve garden of surprisingly well colored (and somehow shaded) red roses.

you went home that night and bought a pack of colorful (washable) pens, hoping this little rose garden with him wasn't a one time thing. and even if it was, you would want to add your own pop of color to your doodles.

thankfully it wasn't.

you and Spencer found yourselves drawing and coloring on your hand a lot. he would catch you doing it and pop in over your shoulder just to add a touch of color where he thought it fit. and you began to feel sad washing off what the two of you had created that day, feeling nostalgic for time that has hardly passed.

and sometimes on the jet you would get tired of your own skin, so you would draw little doodles on his hand, often times leaving a little heart at the base of his thumb. these little hearts he avoided washing off for as long as he possibly could because they felt like a part of you was always with him. he started doing the same thing to your hand, a sort of signature the two of you shared.

most days, the doodles on your hands were pretty much fully colored in.

but now Spencer began to worry. what if you get ink poisoning because of his coloring? sure, the risk was statistically low, improbable even; but never zero. so one night after work he went out and bought a little sketchbook and on the front he scrawled,

"y/n's super duper special sketchbook"

upon receiving it, after giving him a hug he never wanted to let go of, you took a sharpie and started editing the title he had given it. so it now read:

"y/n and Spencer's super duper special sketchbook"

the two of you used up a whole page that day, front and back filled with all types of fruits. Spencer smiled to himself, knowing this had made you very happy. you took a second to take a step back and admire him doing the very thing he admired you for. and you understood why; he just looked so precious and you suddenly realized you craved the feeling of his hand touching yours. so you leaned over and drew a little black heart at the base of his thumb. he looked up at you, smiling widely before returning a red heart to the base of your thumb.

and you guys tore through that book, using a page a day and filling it cover to cover in no time. your own personal handmade coloring book. it turned out to be both of your most prized possessions, a pang of sadness filling your chests as you finished the last page.

you felt bad taking it home with you that night, wondering if maybe Spencer wanted to keep it. maybe you should keep it at work so you can both have it. thats the fair thing to do. you looked down, smiling sadly at the little red heart on your hand.

he did want to keep it. but he had a better idea in mind. he looked down, smiling excitedly at the little black heart on his hand.

the next day when you arrived to work all your worries were solved. on your desk laid a new sketch book entitled:

"y/n and Spencer's super duper special sketchbook: volume ii"

you laughed as you read a small lilac post it note that said, "i want to keep this one please" signed with a little red heart in the corner.

-

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ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @coffeereid-deactivated20210303 @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @s1utformgg @violetspoetic

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

[takrat]

I hope its okay that ive stolen snazzy-suit's name for this... I wanna go ahead and share my take on the District 9 AU. Oh yeah spoilers for the movie

Irken/child shippers DNI (yes dib is older in this au but z*drs do not fucking interact)

District Doom AU notes under cut:

So its not a perfect parallel of the movie but roughly here are the character parallels: Dib is Wikus (son of Prof. Membrane the founder of PEG labs--"MNU" who's primary goal is researching the aliens for SCIENCE! and Dib desperately wants to be a part of it), Zim is Christopher (former Irken Scientist and lead Invader of his squad in Impending Doom I who were aboard the Massive before catastrophe hit), Gir is Oliver 😊, Skoodge is Paul aka the alien that gets shot early on in the movie but don't worry he's okay now, Gaz is here but idk she's just vibing on her own, oh that assistant guy to Wikus? Uhmm probably gonna be Dwicky or something

After an encounter with a Florpus Hole, the Massive is seriously messed up and finds its way to Earth, hovering over a miserable city, miserably out of fuel with dozens of miserable Irkens aboard. Its systems are horribly damaged so there is no contacting Irk for help.

At the very oldest Dib is 19 and the Irkens have been there for around 20 years, possibly only 15 or so?

Because the Massive's systems are all offline, theres no online PAK charging stations--after about ~20 years, the Irkens with standard issue PAKs are growing weak and dying off (Zim has an Invader's PAK--his charge can last much longer)

The Tallests are there basically in hiding. Purple hates earth donuts.

Dib is put in charge of Operation Eviction, moving the Irkens to a new district further away from the city because they are just so fucking ANNOYING nobody can stand them--while this isn't what he wants, he still goes with it because he hopes to study the aliens up close. It'll be the first time he's been allowed in District D--not just snuck in as a kid and either got kicked out by security or almost blown up

Zim and Skoodge have been collecting fluid from scattered Irken technology for many years, fuel for the Massive so that they may return to Irk and send aid (and also come back and destroy Earth)

Commence chaos and commotion--Dib finds himself with a dead Irken's PAK attached to his chest that is slowly turning him into an Irken. and also he confiscated the fuel which was taken to high security PEG labs

I cant believe they fucking killed skoodge

PEG doesn't have a large focus on alien weaponry like in the movie (they do have some, but studying the aliens and their tech in the name SCIENCE! is their whole deal)

Dib and Zim clash and have to end up working together. Dib is able to get them into PEG labs to get the fuel, Zim can get the PAK safely detached from Dib without killing him and reverse the side effects once they get aboard the Massive. There's a lot more character development and friendship that i just don't have the brain power to work out right now

Unfortunately Prof. Membrane is a bit less redeemable in this au.. hes more antagonistic but I really don't want to fuck my man up too bad cus I really like this guy. Hes not horrible, but he does see whats happening to Dib and wants to study him, reasonably though I think that comes across as very scary to Dib and he freaks out. So not entirely sure why Dib has to run away and seek refuge in District D, but I think he's just scared? Miscommunications with him and Prof. I'll flesh it out later whatever

They go to the Tallests' little hideout and Zim tells them his plan for saving them all.. they think he's crazy but send him and Dib off with some cool gear (probably hoping he'll end up killed or captured by PEG labs).

Zim is outcasted among the stranded Irkens because he's generally assumed to have caused the Florpus hole (yea it was him), but he's been desperately trying to prove himself and make up for it (and hes really the only one with any initiative to save them and return to Irk--everyone else is too stupid, hopeless, or cowardly).

They break in whatever. end up running into Skoodge who's kind of just been chilling in the labs and going through some boring experiments

"Skoodge? I thought the humans killed you" "Yeeeaahh but im okay now"

However, Skoodge exempt(?), there's been some Fucked up tests going on to captured Irkens and Zim is really angry and distraught. Dibs also freaked out--like yea he assumed the scientists were doing scary tests and in fact wanted to perform them, but actually seeing the results and how it effects Zim, and getting to know Zim and the Irkens as people, really snaps him to reality and how messed up what PEG labs is doing

Now this would be the end where Zim takes off in the Massive back to Irk and Dib ends up retreating to District D and ultimately transforming fully into an Irken.. but the au definitely doesn't end here. But I dont have the brain power to think any further. Let's see if District 10 ever really does come out like the directors promised

They get the fluid, escape, Zim gets the control module up and running God DAMMIT who is supposed to be that stupid bald military guy in this. That guy in the movie. Okay there's some guy ill figure it out later.

Zim was gonna just fix Dib up, leave him, and take off for Irk, but after finding out about what PEG labs has been doing with experimenting on his people, he has to use all of the fuel and get help as fast as he can, so Dib is left behind.

Anyway if anybody has any ideas im begging dont hesitate to share 🥺 ive also got a bunch of doodles for this? So if you think I should post them sometime let me know. I need to stop typing because my hands hurt now

[barbaracleboy]

The Queens and The Claus

So, I got some advice from Psyche on the BF Server the other day to try and write a short story every day, and I had kind of a silly idea in my head, so I thought I’d take those two bits of info and use them to create something I feel is at least kinda funny. It’s not amazing, I wrote it in under two hours and it’s less than 1000 words (that’ll probably be my template for any future blurbs from here on out), but hopefully you guys find it funny too. Expect some more blurbs in the future (which may not all be as comedic as this ;>)...

Also, at the end there’s a doodle!

In the Termite Palace, Queen Layra II and King Hector IV were having a little tea party with the monarchs of the Ant, Bee, and Wasp Kingdoms. After the Wasp King’s defeat, the connections between the four kingdoms strengthened, and at Bianca’s suggestion they decided that meeting in person could help strengthen personal connections between the rulers as well. Speaking of Bianca, she was currently speaking about some concerns she has with the bugs of modern day… Bianca:...And I truly mean no disrespect to anyone, but it is so strange to me just how worked up some bugs will get over an opinion.

Layra: It is so weird, isn’t it? Bianca: It is, and what is strangest to me is how drastic reactions can be, regardless of what is said! One can merely claim some food is or is not delicious, and some bugs will treat them as if they claimed the sky was white, or that grass was metallic, or that Santa Claus did not exist!

Vanessa: W-what?

Bianca: I just feel that some bugs need to understand how different scenarios call for differing levels of-

Vanessa: No, no, about Santa Claus: did you imply it was weird to say he doesn’t exist?

Elizant: Well, she didn’t imply it so much as simply state it, because it is weird.

Vanessa: But...Santa Claus doesn’t exist…

Suddenly the table gets awkwardly quiet. Bianca and Elizant turn to each other, giving a funny look, before turning back to Vanessa with slight concern.

Elizant: Who told you that?

Vanessa: My...my mother? Shortly before my teenage years?

Bianca: Vanessa, I’ve no doubt that your mother was a good woman, but I am afraid she was incorrect. Santa Claus is real.

Vanessa: Wha-no he isn’t.

Bianca: Well, of course he is! We teach our children of him, are you saying that we are lying to them?

Vanessa: Firstly, lying to your children is integral to being a parent. Secondly, he is a character that was created to entice children to behave!

Elizant: Vanessa, if Santa Claus does not exist then who delivers my presents to me every Christmas morning? Vanessa: I-I don’t know! I was under the impression that waking up to Christmas presents was just something children do, and that their parents bring them the presents; did your mothers not tell you this???

Bianca: My mother was usually too busy drinking or generally being upset to talk to me.

Elizant: My mother was usually too busy thinking about The Sapling to talk to me.

Vanessa: Wow...I cannot believe I somehow had a better mother than you both.

Elizant: (In Tears) DON’T TALK BAD ABOUT MY MOMMY!!!!!

Bianca: Vanessa, this is not about our mothers’ questionable methods of raising us, it is about Santa Claus, whose existence is explained with logically sound evidence.

Vanessa: What evidence!?

Bianca: Well, the obvious one is the fact that we get the presents from him-

Elizant: Based on what Vanessa’s saying, I doubt she gets or deserves any presents…

Bianca:-But there is also the fact that Santa Claus has very powerful magic, so what he is capable of is far beyond what we can comprehend anyhow.

Layra: Preach, sister.

Vanessa: Huh?

Layra: I mean, come on, Vanessa: do you really think it makes more sense for parents to bring gifts to kids than Santa?

Vanessa: HUH???

Layra: Like, are you really saying that parents, who may be lazy or biased against certain kids of theirs or financially/physically handicapped, make more sense as gift givers than a magical, all-knowing, neutral party?

Vanessa: Wh-wh-why are you talking about him like he’s a concept that makes sense!? You just said “magical” and “all-knowing” like they’re normal traits!

Layra: They aren’t normal, that’s why he’s Santa Claus, and we all know of a magical bug already!

Elizant: Leif is pretty odd.

Bianca: Indeed, and The Awakening brought about some interesting changes in us bugs: who is to say none with powers like Santa’s could exist?

Layra: Exactly! There is far, far too much evidence in favor of Santa’s existence for me to deny.

Hector, who has been sitting silent for most of the party, was slowly burying his head into his hands as his wife argued with Vanessa.

Hector: Ughhhhh, please, Layra, not again…

Layra: No, Hector! I’ve finally found two more women that believe in my belief, I will not be suppressed any longer!

Vanessa: I cannot comprehend being in the presence of three adults, three mothers, three RULERS that believe in Santa Claus!!!

Elizant: What, do you view us as children now?

Vanessa: Look, I respect all of you, that is why I find this situation so baffling to begin with.

Hector: I’m kinda with Vanessa, you three are acting like huge womanchildren over this.

Elizant: Why are you even here, Hector!?

Vanessa: Yeah, no offense, but why are you here? I thought this tea party was just for the Queens.

Layra: I invited him because I was hoping he could back me up if I got into an argument, but CLEARLY that was a mistake!!!

Hector: Layra, you’re not saying you hate me over this, are you? Layra: I’m saying you’re gonna sleep on the couch tonight.

Hector: WHAT!? OVER SANTA CLAUS!?

Elizant: Santa Claus is a hero whose legacy you and Vanessa are flagrantly disrespecting.

Vanessa and Hector: SANTA CLAUS ISN’T FUCKING REAL!!!

Bianca: Everyone, we are getting too worked up over this. Let us all just take a breath, agree to disagree, and change the subject.

Everyone else: Whatever.

So they all just sit, trying to brainstorm a new topic to discuss. It takes a few minutes, but Bianca finally comes up with one and thus speaks up.

Bianca: I just learned the most interesting thing from one of my children the other day: I learned how to have infinite chocolate!

Vanessa: Infinite?

Hector: Sounds neat.

Bianca: Someone please bring me a chocolate bar, allow me to demonstrate...

[vamppgojo]

warmth

oikawa tooru x reader

A/N: here it is! my second fic! sorry that it's pretty short :/ and i hope guys catch the reference to the “jenny’ by studio killers in there :)

Warnings/tags: fluff, friends to lovers, oikawa lowkey bein a cheeky shit, and more bad writing </3

3rd year is the year where you're supposed to do everything that you haven't done yet. so what’s taking you so long to confess?

you stood outside the convince store with your arms crossed trying to find at least an ounce of warmth. it was december which meant only a few months until graduation. you knew you didn't have enough time, so what's taking you so long?

"why are these idiots taking forever?", you huffed into your scarf. of course the day it started snowing would be the day you forgot your coat. maybe one of the boys would lend you a jacket. heck, hopefully oikawa would let you borrow his.

as you about to pull out your phone to text them to hurry the hell up, you heard the chimes of the door signaling that someone had opened the doors. you looked up to see oikawa, iwaizumi, mattsun, and makki holding bags and drinks in their hands. they were laughing about something, probably something stupid that oikawa did. he was always doing something stupid.

"oi, y/n-chan! did you miss us?", oikawa walks up to you with a smirk. "i missed everyone else but you." you rolled your eyes at him. you turned your feet to walk in the direction of your neighborhood. you could only hear the sound of the snow crunching under your feet mixed with oikawa's obviously fake gasp.

"so mean, y/n-chan!", the rest of them laughed as they started to walk with you. "we got you tea and onigiri, do you want it?", mattsun held out the bag near you. you slowly grabbed the bag and thanked him for buying you food.

your arms were shaking as you pulled out the onigiri from the plastic bag. "curse this winter weather." you thought to yourself. you took a sip from your tea, hoping it'll warm you up for at least the rest of the walk home. the plastic container that held the onigri opened with a snap as you took it out.

oikawa watched as your body shivered, trying to keep your cup from spilling. "eh? is y/n-chan shivering? did she forget her coat at home?" oikawa thought to himself, paying no attention to the conversation his friends were having. he fumbled with the zipper of his jacket, deep in thought.

you were about to take another sip of your tea when you felt something cover your shoulders. you looked behind you to see oikawa without his jacket, and his jacket on you. snowflakes started covering his head, making you laugh in your head. "he looks cute like this." you thought to yourself, making a small smile appear on your face.

you felt your cheeks heat up as you stared at his face. was he blushing? no, it's probably the cold weather. oikawa cursed at himself for blushing, probably making it obvious that he was flustered. he just felt so bad that you were probably freezing. he's always told you to bring a jacket during the winter time just in case if it snows, but everytime you just brushed him off, saying you'll be fine.

"um, you looked cold." was all that he could say. he looked at the ground and started walking next to you, leaving the rest of the 3rd years. "you really didn't need to, but thanks." you mumbled, taking a sip of your hot tea, which is becoming warm now.

"eh? of course i needed to to! you looked like you were about to die of frostbite!" he laughed. that laugh, it makes you feel warm and safe. you started quietly laughing with him. you swore you could hear wolf whistles coming from iwaizumi, mattsun, and makki. you shot a glare at them and they instantly shut up and looked away.

"ah, y/n-chan is scary." makki whispered to mattsun and iwaizumi. they hummed in agreement, watching again as you and oikawa probably bicker about something. you both fighting is something you both did often, usually oikawa starting it.

"i'm surprised that she didn't bite his head off when he gave her his jacket." iwaizumi started to chuckle. the truth is that, they are tired of seeing you both unknowingly flirt with each other. heck, there might even be some sexual tension. if that you both didn't get together before graduation, they might have to meddle a bit.

as you neared your house, you started saying your goodbyes. oikawa decided to walk you to your front door because "ladies shouldn't walk home by themselves!" of course you smacked him for that, but in reality, you felt the butterflies in your stomach from his words.

the walk up to your house was quiet, both of you deep in thought. the sun shined through the clouds with tiny drops of snow falling on your eyelashes, slightly clouding your vision. you're going to miss this. you really didn't want this end. almost all of your friends moving out of the area. you're just going to cry thinking about it.

then there's oikawa. you know he'd probably travel far to peruse his volleyball dreams. you don't even know what you're doing for college yet, but whatever you end up doing, you'll still be far from oikawa. but you can't blame him, he's doing what he loves. you really do respect that.

thoughts raced through your mind at 100 miles per hour until you felt a hand around your wrist that stopped you in your tracks. "y/n-chan, we're here." you looked up to see oikawa giving you a concerned look, wondering what you were thinking so hard about that made you almost walk past your house.

you blinked the snowflakes on your eyelashes away and turned to your house that was already in front of you. "oh." you said softly. your cup of tea was now empty and your onigiri lone gone. you fiddled with your fingers as you stared at oikawa. you swear you could see sparkles in his eyes when he started back at you.

you turned your body to face him so you could say goodbye. "this is it." oikawa thought to himself. your friendship could end right here, right now. but he just needed to know if you felt the same way, at least before he left. oikawa shot you a smile, starting to walk closer to you. you felt like your heart was going to jump out your chest. with every step he took, there was less and less distance.

"you know y/n-chan..." your heart started beating quickly in anticipation. this is it. he found out about your crush and now he's gonna reject you. deep inside, you were hoping he'd confess. no, that would never happen. he just wants to be friends. maybe he'll let you down slowly at least. you started you brace yourself for the worst.

his face was only centimeters away from yours, throwing all personal space out the window. what was he doing? you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. oikawa's face was full of confidence but fear at the same time. even if you were wearing his jacket, you still shaking. you were scared what he was about to say.

"i think we should ruin our friendship." what does he mean by that? did your feelings make him that uncomfortable? you broke from your thoughts when he titled your chin up and grazed his thumb over your lips. no, this is a dream right? your eyes kept darting across his face to make sure he wasn't playing a prank on you. he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"we should be lovers instead."

as he said those words, you felt all time slow down. like the snowflakes were falling even slower than they were before. he looked backed at you as a way of asking for permission and you nodded. he leaned in and as he did, you both felt sparks fly through the two of you. it's like watching a firework show, it all happens so fast. you finally felt yourself heating up from the kiss, feeling like you don't need oikawa's jacket anymore.

you both pull away, with a flushed expression on your face. "are you being serious, oikawa? you're not joking?" your words squeaked out, afraid that this was one big joke. his arms started to snake around you, pulling you into his chest. his heart was beating rapidly, so maybe he wasn't lying. he was so nervous to confess to you, scared that you would want to stay friends.

"why would i lie to you?" he mumbled in the softest voice you've heard from him in a while. he took a deep breathe before speaking again, "i've always loved you, i'm surprised that you never saw it." he pulled you deeper into his chest, like you were going to run away after he told that. but instead, you just held him even tighter.

you felt tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. this is all you've ever wanted. ever since you were seated next to him during second year. where he would test his lame pick up lines on you and showed you his little doodles on his worksheets that made you giggle. you smiled at the memories of last year. "ive loved you for the longest, oikawa. i'm just shocked that the feeling's mutual." you couldn't tell if you were crying or laughing at this point, but this was probably the best moment of your life.

"i wish we could stay here, but we'll get hypothermia." oikawa started to pull away and grabbed your hand to lead you to your front door. you smiled at him, probably the biggest smile you've had in the longest time.

"oikawa, does this mean that you're my boyfriend now?" you looked up at him, with your cheeks heating up for the 10th time of the day. you reached into your packet to grab your keys, fumbling to find the right one. you felt him peck your cheek just as you were about to open your door. you froze and squealed at the sudden action.

"just call me tooru, and yes that means i'm your boyfriend." he smirked at you. mad that he got you flustered, you punched his shoulder, "you didn't have do that!" you buried you face into your hands to hide your tiny grin.

"you're so mean, y/n-chan! i confessed my love and this is how you treat me?" he whined. you rolled your eyes at him, finally opening the door to your home.

"dating me doesn't exclude my bullying, dumbass!" you whacked the back of his head. you felt him hug you from behind as you were taking off your shoes. he rested his chin on top of your head. "you know what, as long as i'm dating you, i can live with that." oikawa told you softly.

you finally found your warmth.

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.