#but now i will reread that beast and i'll remember everything

[la-pheacienne]

How many times do you have to read a book to remember details? Like honestly. I admire you guys so.much. I have read the Silmarillion and the Unfinished Tails once in highschool and I don't remember shit and everwhere I see Silmarillion posting and I feel so sad that I don't remember absolutely anything apart from like the Gondolin storyline and Beren and Luthien and the fall of Numemor but very very vaguely. And I loved that book so much I used to obsessively draw the maps during class for two years straight, and now there is nothing left in my memory anymore. I'm not even talking about asoiaf where I don't remember shit apart from the chapters that I love and even there I forget details. I'm rereading les Mis right now and I it's like I'm reading a new book. How do you guys manage?? Because the books I loved, I want to read them again since I forgot everything about them and then there are so many new books I wanna read it genuinely stresses me out. So much to do, so little time. Is it my ADHD that prevents me from remembering or is this normal? At least I definitely remember how I felt while reading these.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Hi, I was just rereading Blood-Stained Wool Spun At Midnight (Absolutely terrifying btw!! Great job scaring and horrifying the shit out of me! You're so good at horror, you should do more!) and I wanted to make sure I understood the forest/Primordial/Lord correctly. BTW SPOILERS EVERYONE ELSE! I think

Forest is big old magic forest, possibly sentient on its own (?)

Scary primordial enters forest when it is baby forest, gets stuck there

Scary primordial is strongest thing there, becomes Lord of the forest

Either the forest or the Lord lures in other monsters? And like maybe during the day they can try and get away (since Simon is able to leave the forest to go to the Reader's shop) but the Lure always calls them back once they lose themselves to their monster side?

(Which, question, if a monster/Simon were to run as long and as far and as hard as they could during the time when they had control over themselves, could they get far enough away that the Lure has no power over them anymore? Or is it like stuck on them forever?)

Reader doesn't kill the Lord, but somehow banishes or diminishes it

The forest itself decides to help her and Simon (possibly because the Lord no longer has control over it?)

The forest is safe for them now, since Simon moves her stuff to his house? Or maybe just the hallowed ground cabin is safe for them? Is Reader functionally trapped on the hallowed ground? Wait, was it even actually hallowed ground or was Simon just being a sweetie and not breaking into his own cabin??

No more Lure to lure monsters to the forest?? What's happened to the Lord long term? Will it come back to torment Reader again?? Is her soul still tainted by it?

Again, I really love the fic and it's scary as shit!! Love your AU mini-series. Everything in there absolutely slaps

I haven't thought about that AU in a while, so I'll go off of what I remember, lmao.

Most of what you said is the basic stuff I was trying to get across - the forest is entirely sentient and acts like a prison for the monsters inside. While most of them can come and go as they will, as they're not large threats, this 'greater' monster can't because the forest was created to only keep that one there 100% of the time. The forest is sort of like a beacon for dark energy/beasts/monsters/etc, and while the primordial is there, the 'pull' so to speak, is amplified because the forest doesn't want it there anymore. Think of it like the forest is drawing more and more people/monsters there to take part in a constant battle to banish the primordial away again.

The home is hollowed ground, so it's completely safe for the reader to be there, and after getting back, the only thing really keeping her on the normal plane of existence is the piece of Simon's soul she has; her own is tainted. And the forest itself is still a place for monsters, just less so now that the main 'bad guy' is gone, lol. There's no pull, but the place is still very dangerous.

[alexrosekey]

Oh boy, this is gonna be my longest submission for the @hprecfest to date. Buckle up my friends, the road ahead will be teary with little to no sunshine and rainbows. HEA is not guaranteed, though one has a little more hopeful ending than the others (I'll let you guess which one 👀)

I take absolutely no responsibility for the possible heartache you feel after reading my recs.

*Most of the fics below are rareships , all but the first one.

1. Seven Minutes by starkidsftw (T, 60,588, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy)

They say after you die, your brain stays alive for seven minutes. And in those seven minutes, you live your entire life over again. When Draco Malfoy's seven minutes arrived, he did relive his life: his experiences, his mistakes, his memories. But most importantly, he relived being with her. He relived hating her, loving her, and then ruining it forever.

A Dramione 6th year AU, how typical. But my breath was taken away with how beautiful and poetic the writing was, how in-character both Draco and Hermione were as well as how believable their journey from enemies to lovers was.

This fic is Draco-centric, though the romance is one of the key parts in it. Seven Minutes explored Draco's thoughts and actions throughout the fateful sixth year at Hogwarts with great care and consideration, never shying away from the more unsavory aspects of his personality unlike many Hogwarts Dramione fics.

Draco, through the exceptional crafting of the author, appeared as both sympathetic and pathetic, yet very human and understandable.

After reading it the first time, I immediately reread it while listening to Dumbledore's Farewell OST, crying my eyeballs out.

The author of this one has several much more popular Dramione fics and in fact has an ao3 account, but SM remains one of the finest Dramione fic I've ever read.

*This fic could be put under the prompts of Day 5: A non-AO3 fic, Day 8: A canon-divergence fic, Day 21: A thought-provoking fic and Day 28: An under-rated fic.

2. Beauty and the Beast by @metalomagnetic (M, 21,209, Bellatrix Lestrange/Voldemort)

Whenever Voldemort sees beauty, he wants to destroy it. Bellatrix Black endures.

As I said to dear @metalomagnetic on Discord: "Your fic destroyed me." Who would have thought that one day, I would read a Bellamort fic, getting choked up over their tragic tale at work?

Through the masterful stroke of the author, Bellatrix Lestrange became much more multidimensional and fascinating. More than just a sadistic and insane femme fatale, Bella in BatB loved strongly, felt deeply and had had her heart broken. She was devoted to what she believed in, in this case her freedom to live outside of the strict Pureblood ideals for women, and Voldemort.

Voldemort, as always, shined in the hands of metalomagnetic. He was absolutely unapologetic, unhinged, with wrapped views and formidable presence. To witness his spiral downward first hand was both tragic and mesmerizing.

So please, if you could get over your misgivings about JK's terrible portrayal of Bellamort in canon (and *cough* CC *cough*), give this fic a try. You won't regret it.

(If you're a fan of Tom Riddle/Voldemort like me or a fan of canon-accurate Sirius Black, I highly recommend you to check out metalomagnetic's other fics 😉)

*This fic could be put under the prompts of Day 6: An unreliable narrator fic, Day 7: A canon-compliant fic and Day 9: A rare pair fic (less than 2000 fics on AO3).

3. Tiveden by NoFootprintsInSand (M, 1,594, Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle | Voldemort)

Hope tastes like copper.

There's a reason why despite not rereading this fic for a while now, I could still remember everything in it vividly. Two people got stranded together in the middle of nowhere is a common trope. But this fic went above and beyond to deliver one of the most agonizing and sorrowful twist to it.

To quote one of the comments: He had nothing to live for and she had everything to die for. Like the summary, this fic left a bitter, coppery aftertaste on your tongue after reading.

*This fic could be put under the prompt of Day 1: A favorite fic under 5k and Day 8: A canon-divergence fic.

4. I Think I Know Enough of Hate (1,392) and This Living Hand, Now Warm and Capable (1,287) by NoFootprintsInSand (M, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy)

Hermione and Lucius and the prelude to battle.

and

Hermione and Lucius and the aftermath of battle.

Just getting into Lumione since July, but whenever I'm in the mood for a good punch in the gut, I would immediately go to these two oneshots.

NoFootprintsInSand is a master in weaving beautifully haunting and bittersweet tales, and these two are no exception.

The tragedy that is the corrupted British Wizarding Society as well as the pain of a hollow existence, of pointless conflicts and never-ending power struggle, all portrayed phenomenally through the short, sharp paragraphs and sentences.

Lucius and Hermione's relationship was both twisted and tragic, filled with so much desire and contempt, both for each other and for themselves. Yet there was something more underneath, something speak of love and concern but at the same time not. Whatever it was, it made them cling to one another, wrapping up in a tangle of love and hate and obsession.

Each word and phrase were designed for maximum emotional effect, so unforgettable and effective that shook you to the core. The ambiguity of the fic's context added to the desperate and melancholic vibe of the oneshots.

The stories left so much up to interpretation that I've decided to write an AU WIP to explore them more on my own! (with the permission from the og writer)

*These fics could be put under the prompts of Day 1: A favorite fic under 5k, Day 8: A canon-divergence fic, and Day 9: A rare pair fic (less than 2000 fics on AO3).

All 5 fics in this list can also be put under the prompt of Day 17: A fic that made you cry.

As always, happy reading, and see ya next year 💋

In the meantime, check out my rec list for other days.

Day 13: A fic with over 100k words

Day 16: A fic that made you laughed

Day 19: Fic with the hottest smut

Day 22: An unfinished fic (hasn't updated in 10 years or the author stated it has been abandoned)

[caliburn-the-sword]

since i've been gone:

watched atla live action. hate the tell don't show writing style. got mad every time i saw ian ousley on screen. suki and jet ate that up tho i'm literally SO pan. zuko's flashbacks made me cry. him leading the division that he saved in finding the avatar is a nice touch. love how secret tunnel and two lovers/omashu is gay now

am starting a jade fire gold by june cl tan reread because holy fuck i'm in zutara feels rn

read if you could see the sun by ann liang. made me cry shake throw up. obsessed with her writing and need her book to hurry up and appear in aus

read the first shatter me book since i enjoyed the first 6 chapters on google. BIG mistake. how did simultaneously nothing happen in that book while everything happen at the same time?? why do people hate adam and love warner??? why is every man on the planet obsessed with juliette??? however the last two chapters gave xmen vibes so unfortunately i will be reading the rest of the series at some point in time

i became OBSESSED with the maleficent movies for an entire fortnight. so much so i thrifted a grunge fairycore skirt with NOTHING to style it with. can't wait for maleficent 3!!!!

follow up to maleficent, i ended up rewatching all of descendants. all i'm gonna say is mal did nothing wrong. ben is insanely mid. i think that evie's backstory is a lot darker than let on by the disney channel rating but i'll make a separate post about my headcanons for her. saw the teaser for the 4th movie. rip to cameron

i watched the marvels FINALLY. i ADORED kamala as always even with all the shitty writing changes to her backstory, iman slays as always. i screamed cried and threw up when i saw the og beast from xmen and professor x mention!!! seeing carol from the kree's perspective was also actually REALLY interesting. the family angst between monica and carol also made me emotional. seeing kamala become disillusioned with her hero was also very civil war 2 coded and i'd LOVE to see that fleshed out more. i'm interested to see whether kamala is trying to form the young avengers (which she was never a member of and predates her by 10 years), champions or secret warriors (both of which kate was never a member of if i remember correctly)

because of xmen crumbs i unfortunately rewatched about half of the gifted s1 for those feels

i now know 4 programming languages and am living out my own little cress darnel life

watched a few episodes of love between fairy and demon, thought i didn't like cdramas, gave an episode of who rules the world and actually?? i might be into it. i'll see in a few episodes time (IF i have time)

[lilbittymonster]

Echoes of a Refrain 👀

So I had to reread this one bc I only remembered the gist of it, but it's sometime after Kitali and Aymeric started properly dating but are both still spiralling from everything that's happened post war. Aymeric is still a bit in the idealisation stage and Kitali still has a lot of directionless anger and grief that she doesn't really know where to put yet. Pre-Batman era but post-DRK 60.

It's a bit older, and her speech pattern feels a little off to me, so if I do end up using this for something I'll maybe tweak a few things, but overall I still like it,

once again not beating the "Kitali is completely unhinged and violent" allegations but

~~~

Aymeric climbed the steps to the highest platform, the whispers of song dancing just beyond his understanding, but reverberating through his very marrow. 

Kitali was standing in the center of the open space, facing away from the stairs. Her lone figure made the space feel all that larger around her, though her presence seemed to fill it nonetheless. The purple glow of the corrupted aether crystals that held the Aery aloft reflected off of her skin and scales, painting her in a similar hue as the previous occupant. It was an odd dissonance and set the hairs at the nape of Aymeric’s neck standing. At his approach, she turned to face him, and the echoing song faded to silence. 

“The moogles said you’d likely be here,” he said. “Was…….am I interrupting something?”

“I was singing,” she said casually. 

“Oh, was that what I was hearing? May I ask what it was?”

“A lament for Nidhogg.”

Aymeric tilted his head. “A lament for……why?”

“Because for all his atrocities, Nidhogg was right. Men are weak. Men are greedy. They are envious, volatile things. What they want, they take by force. They killed his sister in cold blood because they coveted her power. And to preserve their wrongful claim to power, lied to their people for a thousand years. Their prejudices have seeped into the very stonework of Ishgard, proclaiming anyone who is not of their blood to be their enemy.” Her voice hardened, steel beneath silk. “Going so far as to kill an entire people for the sin of looking like dragons.”

Aymeric knew that Nidhogg was dead. He had watched him slain by Kitali’s own hand before his very eyes. But that did not stop him from bracing for the shadow of the great wyrm to appear behind Kitali, great black wings shrouding her form. He swallowed thickly, averting his gaze. 

“How did you find out about that?” he asked.

“Did you hope to keep that information from me?” she asked in retort.

“…Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it is a stain on the history of the Temple Knights, and one I take no pride in.”

“Worried you and Ishgard would lose my good favor if I found out?”

Aymeric closed his eyes, the weight of her accusations too much to bear, but his silence was an answer enough. 

“Who gave the order?” Kitali pressed. 

“Th-the previous Lord Commander.” Aymeric’s tongue felt heavy. 

“And where is he now?”

“Dead. Killed in the line of duty. I was his replacement.”

He could feel her gaze, sharp across his features.

“Is that why you had Estinien watch me for so long?”

“Yes.” He opened his eyes once more and met her gaze, unabashed. “I wanted to keep you safe, and knowing past tendencies, I would not allow any risk of harm to befall you.”

Kitali just continued to stare. It took a great amount of willpower not to squirm under it. 

The cry of a beast overhead startled Aymeric, and grateful for the excuse to break her stare he looked up to see what it was, lest he need be on his guard. Kitali, for her part, only languidly swivelled her head to look up. It was a wyvern, blue hide shining in the light of the crystals as it flew overhead. Aymeric dared a glance at Kitali, and from her lack of worry he lowered his blade. 

The bearing of wings faded back into silence, but the tension had broken for the moment. Kitali turned back to look at him once more.

“I’ll meet you back at Moghome,” she said with finality, and turned back to face the archway.

Aymeric nodded, even though she couldn’t see it, and forced himself to walk back down the steps instead of sprinting headlong as he wanted to. 

This place is cursed, he thought to himself as he climbed back into the mana cutter. Cursed and haunted, and not just by the dead.

Thanks for the ask @whatsthisascianbullshit

[feydpauls]

for the ao3 wrapped: 1, 6, 12, 13, 20, 29, 30 and and and!!!! alright, i'll stop here for now haha. if that's too much, you can also just answer the ones that seem the most interesting to you 💙💙💙

my sea!!! 🥹🥹 you didn't have to send more, but thank you <33

How many words have you written this year?

according to ao3 i published 130,131 words this year but i've written a lot more since i don't post everything i write and i still have WIPs.

2. Favorite title you used

'i can't lost when i'm with you' since it's from a song i associate with gunwoojin. i listened to it on repeat to write the fic and i think it fits them perfectly!

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

at least five but tbh idk if i'm gonna finish even half of them. it all depends on my fickle muse lol

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

i want your fortress next to mine - started posting it in 2022 but i finished it this year. it's 44k words long and it's one of my fav fics i've ever written.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

to be honest, i have no idea. i remember reading over the first chapter of 'a juxtaposition in fate' too many times until i was finally satisfied with it though.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

from you need a big god:

"Without wasting any more time, Seungho picks up a machete, stained with blood, off the floor and stabs the back of the nearest man. He does it again to the second man that’s directly on his way, tearing through them like they’re just obstacles. One after the other, Seungho slices through their flesh, stabs limbs and backs and slits throats. He punches and kicks when necessary, but he doesn’t care for etiquette right now.

He has to keep Euijeong safe. And Gicheul... He has to keep them both safe, his brain supplies. 

Blood splashes on his clothes (the white suit he knows belongs to Gicheul) until there’s no more white left. Everything is red. His clothes, his hands and, without a doubt, his face too. He can smell the blood, its pungent, almost sweet scent. And taste it too - thick and metallic on his lips, invading his mouth. 

Seungho’s left eye hurts from a punch he was too slow to dodge, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is getting to the two people he needs to protect. 

He leaves a trail of bodies behind him as he enters the main office. He can’t see neither Euijeong or Gicheul. All he registers are the men, these strangers, turned into foes by posing a threat to the woman he loves and the man he’s sworn his loyalty to.

Seungho hacks away at the thug's back with the machete over and over until he’s lying on the floor motionless. He doesn’t feel anything as he watches the men bleed out for a moment before moving on to the next. Later he’ll surely ask himself what has become of him. 

The answer precedes the question when he sinks his teeth into another thug’s flesh, ripping off part of his ear: an animal. 

A beast. 

And for what? He doesn’t even know anymore.

His job, sure. The one thing that he’s clung to since he was a teenager, while he watched his junkie of a father ruin his family. He didn’t want to be like him, he wanted to be good. And now look at him.

His body moves like it was made for this: maim, kill, tear through flesh and break bones. He’s a killing machine. He’s transformed into the very thing he’s vowed to fight against. Right in front of Euijeong’s eyes.

The cut on his hand doesn't hurt nearly as much as her look of utter shock. It's like something shatters between them and the shards cut into the deepest parts of him.

When their eyes meet through the glass, that’s when Seungho finally stops. And for a moment, finally, he’s Junmo again. He is the man that proposed to Euijeong inside a police car, who stumbled over his words as he asked her to date him instead of a ‘Seoul guy’. The man who made her laugh with his silly jokes and brought home her favorite dessert every Friday to cheer her up after a long week of work.

But this man, standing behind the glass, is no longer that man. He realizes that now. Even before Gicheul is by Euijeong’s side, in a way better state than Seungho is, holding her as he says something Seungho can’t make out.

That’s his wife. And Gicheul is touching her, looking at her like she is his. He notices the necklace around her neck and the fabric soaked in blood tied around her hand, and he thinks,  maybe she is . Maybe she belongs to him just as Seungho does."

this was easily my fav scene from the show so writing about junmo's thoughts here was really fun and i love how it turned out.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that i can actually write canon compliant(ish) fics if i put some effort into it haha. still not my absolute fav thing to write but it's not as difficult as i thought it'd be.

[matt-lifesage]

Matt’s 2022 Visual Novel Tier List

We're counting down/ranking all the visual novel's I read in 2022!

C-Tier:

Melty Blood

TATARI is a fantastic concept, and Sion’s a really fun new character to throw in with the Tsukihime cast, but the actual storytelling was more often than not really really boring. The comedy route was nice, but most of the game’s a slog to get through since all the different paths are very samey.

It didn’t help that I knew the gist of the story from reading the manga adaptation several years back. After rereading the manga again after going through the game, it’s a very solid adaptation and my preferred version of the story (though, I don’t think Act 2’s adaptation of the comedy route works nearly as well).

B-Tier:

Kagetsu Tohya

I ended up enjoying this more than I expected, though I'll admit that I don’t remember too much of the main story outside of the major beats with Len, who’s great. Type-Moon would execute this premise much stronger with Hollow Ataraxia a couple years later, but I don’t think you can write this game off because of that.

The Ten Nights of Dreams stories were the highlight for me. With two or so exceptions, they’re fantastic side stories, easily my favorite part of the experience.

First Snow

A nice little lesbian college romance. It’s free so it’s easy to recommend. Short, not very complicated, and as a standalone prequel/demo for the devs' upcoming game, it does a good job. I’m looking forward to Twofold.

A-Tier:

Tsukihime [reread]

I reread the Near Side routes back in 2021 before Remake dropped, then early this year I finished the Far Side. I really fell in love with it going through the second time, especially Kohaku’s route.

(now please localize the remake, Aniplex. In a perfect world you’d translate that AND the original, but give me the new one at least it looks so so so good i really wanna read it)

Higurashi Question Arcs

Fantastic horror, I can’t recommend it enough. Chapter 1 is free so go download it. It’s so worth getting into this eight-game series disguised as one or two games depending on who you ask (just save yourself some time, skip the character arc, and just switch to the original sprites right away).

It might have landed itself higher on the list if my experience reading the first two chapters hadn’t been plagued by half-remembered spoilers from watching the anime over a decade ago. It proved that barely-remembered spoilers can be worse than well-remembered spoilers because a whole backburner of my brain was stuck trying to figure out how that corrupted data fit into what I was reading instead of appreciating the storytelling. Kinda frustrating, but not the game’s fault. Thankfully it wasn’t an issue Chapter 3 onward (what a great chapter omg).

Queen Beast

Queen Beast! Queen Beast! Please read it! It’s so fun and charming and good. It’s under five hours, you can easily read it in one or two sittings. And It’s impossibly free-to-play. Just a delightful fantasy adventure about a young man rescuing his sister from a mysterious knight riding a dragon known for abducting women with big boobies. Some of the most fun I had with a VN all year. I’m probably going to reread it soon, honestly.

I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for anything Envelope does in the future.

Did I mention it’s free and I'm very annoyed I can’t find any way to give the folks who made it some money? Very rude of them to not let me praise their incredible work with cash. But whatevs, maybe next time.

S-Tier:

So I read too many great VN’s this year, so the top tier is PACKED. The ranking for everything (with the exception of first place) shifts based on my mood, so this is ordered by my current feeling/the order I felt like talking about them. Consider it a four-way tie for second place.

Higurashi Answer Arcs

You wanna cry? You wanna cry a whole lot? Do I have the visual novel for you! Again! 'cause the second half is even better.

If Higurashi’s first half is a fantastic horror series, its Answer Arcs continues that while becoming an undisputed masterpiece. The way the story explodes from a small town potentially supernatural horror story to a (spoilers!) complex 1980’s political conspiracy thriller without ever losing its focus on the characters or its heart is applause-worthy.

Please Be Happy

And the award for biggest surprise of the year goes to PBH! It was a solid B-tier, maybe even A, until one of the routes it splits off into caught me in an emotional headlock it still refuses to release me from. A very solid slice-of-life comfy urban fantasy romance that ended up meaning a whole lot more to me than I could have expected.

Full Metal Daemon Muramasa

Motherfuckinggoddamnfuckyeah Full Metal Daemon Muramasa fuck yeah let’s fucking go hell yeah fuck yeah.

Welp, if that wasn't one of the best things I’ve had the honor of reading, I don’t know what is. Fuuuuck!

I went into this one blind. I didn’t even know the premise. I wanted to read some grimdark outside of my at the time comfort zone and it paid off. I’m so glad I gave this one a chance.

Witch on the Holy Night

I genuinely cannot believe this was as good as I’d hyped myself for six years into hoping it was. Easily my personal go-to recommendation for anyone wanting to get into Type-Moon. Some of the most impressive spectacle and presentation I’ve ever seen in a visual novel (and that says a lot considering it's the same year I read FMDM). Arguably some of Nasu’s best character work, the relationship between the three main characters and the supporting cast is masterful. It even has a surprising amount of optional bonus content that stands very well alongside the phenomenal main story. Hopefully, it starts a trend of Type-Moon’s backlog being released in English.

And the uncontested best visual novel I read in 2022 is…

Umineko Answer Arcs

I read this back in April, and I knew as soon as I finished that it would be the best thing I read all year. No contest. And that opinion wasn’t shaken once.

An incredible loving dissection of the mystery genre. The word that kept coming to mind while I was reading it was “confidence.” I can’t think of another story so brazen. I can only begin to imagine how nerve-wracking it was writing a mystery this large a scale, one that gleefully points out the rules and means to criticize itself, commenting on the genre, challenging the characters and audience to find fault with it, the balance between setting up the reveals while hiding them in plain sight... Reading Umineko is watching a writer full-speed sprint across a tightrope, and Ryukishi07 pulls it off with absurd grace.

Do yourself a favor, love yourself, and get into When They Cry.

[none-ofthisnonsense]

Book recommendations? 👀

Thank you for asking!

Oooh, this is going to be an interesting one, because I'm not entirely sure myself!

You've said that you got to hear Madeleine l'Engle speak once, so I'll take to mean that you're familiar with her works - but the Time Quintet (especially A Wrinkle In Time and A Swiftly Tilting Planet) still is my favourite book series of all time!

I know you've also read this one, but A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett is one of my all-time favourites.

Now, onto actual recommendations:

Beasts and Beauty: Dangerous Tales by Soman Chainani. Delightfully chilling and quite well rewritten, with some twists you won't expect.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I don't actually remember reading this one (it was for book club) but I remember thinking I'd reread it. (I know there's a movie that came out in 2010? 2012? Idk. With Andrew Garfield I think. I didn't watch it, but maybe you know it!)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab. This is pretty popular already but I read until 3 am because I could. Not. Put. It. Down.

Anything by Eva Ibbotson! I've actually only read 3 of her books but they changed my childhood forever, I think. My personal favourite is:

The Dragonfly Pool by Eva Ibbotson. Absolute wonder. I don't usually like books set during wars but this one does a great job of it. And Tally is such a wonderful character!

Journey to the River Sea by Eva Ibbotson is also one I like. It's much more a book about the setting, I think, than the previous one (where I focus more on the characters) but it's just such a lovely story.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I didn't like this one much when I was reading it, but now I reference it in my mind a lot (an "oh, like Evelyn Hugo!" pops up when thinking about surprisingly many things.)

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I'm fairly sure you've read it, but I'm recommending it anyway!

I've just remembered Jennifer Niven. She's more YA, but her books literally saved my life (and I'm using "literally" correctly). My absolute favourite of hers are:

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. Fair warning: this book deals with HEAVY mental health. But it saved my life. And it's forever going to be a comfort book for me.

Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven. This introduced me to what prosopagnosia is, and I don't remember reading it either but I think about it often. I should reread it, come to think of it.

After Jennifer Niven: Nicola Yoon! Also more YA, but her books are so good.

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon. This deals with illness, so if you're uncomfortable with that maybe don't read it, but I remember liking it.

The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon. I remember liking this one and especially learning from it.

A Gentleman In Moscow by Amor Towles. For once I can remember reading it (I've forgotten more than a few books I've had to read for book club). I was saddened by it, but also felt hopeful by the end - it's a nice read.

And that's it! That's all the books I could find on my Readerly list, anyway. Thank you so much for asking, and I hope you get to read some of these!

[dogwatch05]

Human: The Space Dog - Chapter 4

First Previous Next

All right, so school and work really took off as far as work load, but Chapter 4 is finally here and I am very excited to get back to writing this. I actually had to go back and reread all the chapters so I could remember where I left off lol. I have no clue if I'll be able to keep writing because of school and work but Thanksgiving break will be here soon so I might be able to get one out then too. This is a little shorter than I'd like it to be but it seemed like a good place to leave it. I hope you guys enjoy reading this.

Torell walked out of the creature's room feeling dejected. Why wouldn't he let him put the collar on? Torell found himself walking to his mother's office so he sped up to reach there faster. Entering Montressa's office, he knocked on the door frame. Montressa turned around and smiled while motioning him in. "Well, how'd it go?" Torell's shoulders sagged at the question. "That bad huh? Ok, explain the problem to me."

"Well, he's obviously comfortable around our kind, but he acts like a skittish beast. He could be naturally skittish, but he's spent so long around Uncle D'ral's scientists that he should know we are friendly. I tried putting an identification collar on him but he wouldn't let me near him with it. I've done everything you've taught me to do: design a room that works a well as possible for the animal's biology, make sure it knows that I am the one giving it its food, find a name or sound it responds to, use slow movements, and everything else but it's just not working!"

Montressa silently chuckled to herself. "Let's go back to the beginning. What is the animal most likely? A predator or prey?"

"Well their eyes are on the front of their face instead of the side so a predator."

"Good. Where would it most likely live?"

"Low fur levels so not somewhere cold. it doesn't have any obviously strong cooling mechanisms so probably not anywhere like a desert. Most likely in temperate to cool or warm locations. Likely forested since there is no camouflage on its body but it could live in a Savana or plains like environment."

"Now, what else do you know about it?"

"It was very vocal around groups so it's probably a social creature. It was not aggressive to the scientists or the Beast Master but he'd been around them for a while before they removed the restraining straps. Maybe it's a trust issue? It could be lonely? It could just not want a collar on."

"Or you are moving too fast. Not physically, but progression wise. One thing all those had in common was that it took patience to discover. You're excited, it's your first assignment you get to head, but remember to move slowly. Okay?"

"Okay. Oh, I've got a name for him! He responded to Frantal."

"That's a lovel-"

Montressa got cut off by a shout echoing down the hallway. Getting up, she peered up and down the corridor looking for the source. A few hydroponic and kitchen workers were backing slowly away from one direction so she headed toward them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I'm running out of introductions.

Any way, when Sounder left I think it was safe to say that I was relieved. If that was how he worked with non-sapient creatures, then that child didn't know how to work with animals.

I got up from the padded floor area that I assumed was my bed and walked (more like stumbled) around the room until I could truly feel and direct my legs. Once that was accomplished, I inspected the door to my room. I remembered seeing Sounder messing with the pad on the wall before opening the door so there had to be a lock/unlock button on it.

The pad had many options and none of them were labeled in something I could make out. "Well, you couldn't just have a big red or green button to press?" I asked sarcastically to the air. In my defense, the movies make this look much easier. Might as well get started I thought and started pressing buttons. After 30 minutes, a few alarming beeps, and some flashing lights, I began to recognize the back, confirm, and cancel button. Lightly banging my head on the wall, I walked over to the door and pressed the small button where a door handle usually was. It was unlocked the whole time.

Sliding into the wall, the door made a slight hiss before settling completely into a seamless door frame. Glancing around and thinking vaguely that this might be a bad idea, I set out from my room to explore. Wandering seemed like the best idea until I saw colored strips leading to different locations. Selecting the dark green one at random, I followed it until it brought me through strangely deserted corridors to what looked liked a hydroponics room with several Fosh and a few of Goblin's species forever more known as Naga. "Oh hey guys, didn't know y'all would be here. Mind if I grab something to eat? Been a while since I've had a salad."

The group of creatures froze and a few yelped before being elbowed in the ribs. They slowly backed to the walls of the room at my words and a few slipped out as I walked further in. "Well if no one is opposed then I'll just help myself." More silence greeted my words and I rolled my eyes as they shrunk further to the walls. I understood why but it was getting awful old. Browsing through the rows of leafy greens, purples, and strangely oranges, I chose the few that looked closest to Romain or Iceberg lettuce and stripped a head of each before sitting to eat. I've never been a fan of plain lettuce but as much as I love meat, I needed some variation so I dug in with gusto.

Apparently one of the Fosh sent out a notification because Momma, Sounder, and the male Fosh that was with them when they got me came running into the room and abruptly slowed to a walk when they saw me. A few moments later two armed Nagas ran into the room only to be apparently told to walk. "Oh come on guys, what have I ever done to warrant this?" I really should just stop talking because that prompted the Nagas to raise their weapons, but when do I ever listen to what I should do. Luckily Momma stepped in and lowered their weapons. The male Fosh started speaking aggressively to Momma while she endured it in silence, but before Momma could do anything Sounder stepped in and gave a sharp chirp and a few hums. He turned on Sounder and began to speak just as aggressively to him as he had to Momma.

"Hey, leave the kid out of this. I don't know what he said but he's just a kid so there's no reason to speak to him like that." I really really should learn to hold my tongue. The male Fosh, now known as Contentious, turned toward me and started shouting at me, or more likely about me, while swinging his foot toward me. It was a simple matter to step out of the way and obviously Mr. Contentious wasn't expecting me to move because he quickly lost his balance when his taloned foot flew past where I was. He hit the ground hard and seemed dazed for a moment while one Naga moved forward to grab him and the other leveled their weapon at me once more. It was that moment when I decided I didn't like Contentious. From his point of view, I was just an animal who didn't know anything, and when I stepped in to defend Sounder he tried to kick me. Anyone who would hit an animal for trying to defend a child is not someone to be trusted or liked.

Once again Momma stepped in and lowered the Naga's weapon all the while chattering away. Everyone slowly started to relax and she walked over to me and deftly grabbed to remains of my food before calling the same sound that Sounder had made. As I got up to follow her, a better idea than just staying in that room, I past Contentious and said "I don't like you" in the deepest voice I could muster before catching up to Sounder and Momma.

To be continued

[annonmaly]

Spoilers Ahead!

Hi, fellow bored humans! Today is another day to set aside our real-life problems and overthink matters about fictional situations. Because why not? Mochijun-Sensei can make us do that. So, last time I made a post questioning Misha's knowledge of Vani's self-hypnotism. So before anything else, I want to thank you guys who took the time to read, liked, and replied to that post. It is fun to read ideas that even I can not think about.

Grab a cup of coffee and be prepared for a long-ass non-sense.

I am calling human Vanitas = Vani, and Luna = Luna. The pronoun I use is "she" because I would not confuse myself. I know Luna said she is an enby so, do not fight me.

Today, I want to talk about Luna and her death. I know that we have too little information in our hands right now, but my brain cells can still assume something based on what we have. This thought came about with the premise that Luna is an Archiviste.

I can't think of anything that happened to them "that day", but I have a theory of why Vani killed Luna. To make things clear, I will summarize my assumptions and list them down. I made an explanation of each point. Supposedly, those would come first but I didn't expect it to be so long, that's why I decided to just put it at the end. You could ignore it if you want. Check it out if you are curious.

Luna is an Archiviste

Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood

Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death

Luna bit Vani the day she died

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Here is the idea: I think Vani killed Luna because she forced herself to drink Vani's blood for whatever reason and the self-hypnotism activated. Sound farfetched? Because it is, but I'll show you why I thought it this way.

This is my one and only proof. The eyes are almost the same, right? See, I told you I could make a long-ass post just from two panels. The left one is from the Bal-Masque arc before Vani made a scene. The right one is before Vani and Noe's death fight. I believe that Vani's hypnotism is triggered in both pictures. I actually hesitated if I should do this since Mochijun-Sensei really loves including similarities in the story. You see, Astolfo and Misha made the same eye. But all three of them have the same eyes the moment they thought about why they would kill a vampire.

Vani - to not allow anyone to steal his memory

Astolfo - because vampires shouldn't even exist

Misha - Noe didn't drink Vani's blood.

So yeah, whatever, I'll go ahead and write this one. Vani would be the main focus of this thing.

1. The way Vani's hallucination phrased this is interesting. We know Vani's father died protecting him. What about Luna? If Vani killed Luna intentionally or because of hate, she did not die "because" of Vani. Vani killed her. There's a difference between the two. Behind all that facade that Vani is showing, he's kind. He's not someone who could just kill anyone without any reason when he's in the right mind. Especially if that someone is the one who became his guardian and is helping him to find a cure to make his body normal. Initially, I thought that Luna had gone wild and reach the point of no return. That's why Vani had no other choice. Though if this is the reason, Luna still did not die because of Vani. Now, this phrase would only be right if Luna died protecting Vani or if something happened to Vani. How could this happen if she was killed by the one she's protecting. So, what if, instead of Luna going wild, Vani is the one breaking down. Thus, Luna had really no choice but to make Vani her kin. If she's an archiviste and Vani already casted the hypnotism. It would be triggered and so he had no choice but to kill Luna.

"You give yourself someone to protect that's why you're weak." -Vani to Jeanne

If Luna didn't save Vani and Misha, she might still be alive. If she chose to abandon or kill Vani (when Vani loses his mind), she might still be alive. But Luna chose to save him by making him her kin. She handicapped herself by choosing to protect Vani and she died by doing so.

2. Maybe Luna doesn't want to use this method because it involves blood drinking to leave her mark. If she's an Archiviste, perhaps her reason is the same as Noe does not drink blood "She doesn't want to look at anyone's memory without permission".

3.Vani was never an honest and straightforward guy. If there is someone/thing he wants to protect he wouldn't say it outright. Sometimes we would go full on beast mode, just to hide his real agenda. It already happened a lot (reread the manga for examples). So maybe the reason he strongly disagrees is that he knows that once Luna tries to bit her he would lose his mind and try to kill her.

4. This is just so heartbreaking. Look at how he cried. I think this is not a cry of relief. Vani is crying out of frustration. It's not because he wanted to kill Noe. For me, it's like Vani is saying "I killed Luna, why can't I kill now." I mean, he realized that this ordeal could be solved without killing the other party. But why didn't it happened before?

This is just a half baked theory so of course there are still things that could negate these panels:

If Luna is talking with Vani here, she makes him her kin even before dying. Since everything is so calm. Though I would ignore reality and think that Luna is talking with Misha here. I think that Misha became her kin first since he is breaking down first.

The flashback of Misha shouting at Vani, maybe this is just hallucinations. But if this is true, it means that they spent some time together after Luna's death. And yeah, all of this would be meaningless.

Explanation of each point

1. Luna is an Archiviste. The theory is already out there, so I wouldn't explain it anymore.

2. Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood & 3. Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death. Going back to my previous post, I mentioned that it is strange for Misha to know that Vani hypnotized himself if Luna is the one who begged Vani to not let anyone take his memory on her deathbed because:

a. The timeline doesn't coincide. The chance that Misha and Vani separated "that day" which is I believe the same day as Luna's death is high. So, there's no way Misha could know.

b. Misha forgot what happened "that day". However, it's not like Vani doesn't want Misha to remember. I don't know but I feel like everything would be civil if Misha didn't mention that he wants to revive Luna. That is the moment everything went a wrong turn.

It is likely that Luna already asked Vani days before "that day" and her death. The problem is if the three are together "why did she only ask Vani and not Misha?". Maybe, Luna and Vani have a shady secret that they don't share with Misha as he's too young. However, if the secret has something to do with Luna, Vani won't even mention something relating to it to Misha, I mean the kid knows exactly the trigger of self-hypnotism. Maybe Luna is not the one who asked Vani. I believe that someone already asked Vani before he entered the church to train as a chasseur. But "who" asked Vani is not my problem today it is "when".

So in short, I suppose that the memory Vani is protecting is something that only he knows at the moment, and it did not happen recently but goes way back in his early childhood. As retracexcviii pointed out, it looks like that the self-hypnotism technique Vani used is the same as what the chasseurs. So, Vani knows this technique way back before he became a lab rat.

Continuing on...

Don't judge but I wasted a considerable amount of time digging information about Vani's childhood (yup, I don't have a life outside). And I found nothing concrete that could help, however, as I said, I could make something out of what we have. So here we go.

In Vani's delirium due to high fever he finally opens up and we had a peak of his life before everything. There's nothing much here, just a simple story, but let's overanalyze this:

a. In the era they’re living in, vampires are not allowed to attack humans. People are even treating them as folklore or old people's tall tales. Thus, random vampire attacks are seldom. The attacks that we heard are from the cursed ones (e.g., Amelia and Thomas) or harboring resentment (I think this is why the vampires attacked Astolfo’s family). Well, the attack on Vani and co. may be a special case. Vani mentioned that chasseurs are hunting "dangerous" types of vampires that are rampaging in the human world. So, there may be a miscreant group of vampires somewhere that hates peace or being suppressed by humans. Right, Misha's mother was also killed by a vampire.

b. When Misha asked what's a band of traveling players then Luna answered that it's a bit like a circus. Vani answered that "It was nothing like...that formal". He hesitated for a moment, meaning, he wanted to say something different first, but he changed his mind. Or maybe he just can't find the right word. I know that someone already mentioned this, but did you know that according to Wikipedia "Charlatan is a seller of medicines who might advertise his presence with music and an outdoor stage show." Now that's another thing to add to Vani and Naenia's parallel.

c. Vani thinks that his father doesn't like it there very much. So, why stay even if his wife is dead? Even if Vani's father could not go back to his family, he could still opt to cut ties with the band and settle down somewhere. He's a doctor, it's not like they would be helpless if they leave. Travelling is not a safe choice if you think about it. Perhaps, he stayed in the memory of his wife? Or are there other reasons?

d. This guy didn't just come to Altus ones before. "No matter when I visit" he already visited during different periods. The times he possibly could go in Altus is before his father's death and after Luna's death. Maybe Luna's going in secretly for whatever reason. I just want to drop it here because it's interesting to take note of.

e. I'm not sure if I should include this since it may be Luna's influence, but Vani knows way too much about vampires and also the babel incident. Also, Ruthven's statement just gives me a weird feeling. Does it mean "You an average human are running around doing ridiculous things, so tell me about 'yourself', kin of the blue moon vampire"? Or "without the context of being the kin of the blue moon vampire, tell about yourself?" I think it is the latter meaning.

There's nothing important here that proves Vani's childhood should be kept as a secret. But this will do for now, I just want to establish that Vani is more than just kin to the Blue Moon Vampire. His childhood, his father, family, and that traveling players are also suspicious. (Why the hell do I find everyone in this series suspicious?!? oh, except Amelia and Riche).

4. Luna bit Vani the day she died. I can't come up with anything that happened "that day". Did Luna has gone wild? Did someone attack them? Did Vani and Misha lose their mind as an effect of that weird doctor's experiment? There's really nothing but I think that whatever happened "that day" led to Luna's leaving no choice but to drink Vani's blood, or to make Vani her kin. There has no explicit explanation of how you make one your kin, but I'm sure drinking blood is included in the process. They would only gain a mark if they were bitten.

I'm actually not done yet. I still have plenty to say, but this should end here now. This is already too long for me to handle. Does this make sense? Or is it confusing? Don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong or tell me whatever you want to say.

So, if what Vani is saying is true, why do you think he killed Luna?

See ya' later folks!

Note: I wrote this to indulge my over-thinking self. This is just a random theory, thoughts, assumptions, and/or head-canons. Thank you for taking the time to read and understanding if I made any mistakes or post whatever it is you don’t agree on.