#but now i realize it's actually kinda random
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)
Story time!
Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.
I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"
So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.
But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.
So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.
And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.
That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO
I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.
But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.
Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.
I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)
bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺
48K notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok it closes out on me when I tried typing it the first time-
Anyway, I'm a sucker for shock value ones, just so funny to me, so how about M'gann being nervous about introducing bf danny and it happens at an inconvenient time! Could go ghost royalty, ancient of space or anything, hell ghost as dragons would be pretty funny, up to you though!
I'm not sure if I did a good job at this, but I didn't want you to wait too long and real life is keepimg me busier than expected, so for now, it's here. I may continue it one day (I also have different version of fill for this prompt, because neither idea felt right, so if you'd like to see I too, just let me know whatever way is most convenient to you)
This wasn't supposed to happen like that. M'gann didn't have a super detailed plan on how it was supposed to happen, but even her vague (thought and rethought every night) ideas were anything but this. It was supposed to be a calm, low-stakes situation. Maybe even make it look like an accidental meeting, Team in civies hanging out around Happy Harbour, bumping into Danny and then she'd just introduced him, perhaps adding ‘btw, he is my boyfriend’ almost like an afterthought. This seemed like the best possible scenario.
This was also, as expected with the way hero life is, the exact opposite of what actually happened.
Of course, it didn’t start with anything heralding the absolute disaster this day had to become. Kinda accidentally the Team stumbled upon something between a cave and a basement, and in it a group of people, who decided to perform a summoning of a genie so they could… wish for stuff. They didn’t even look like cultists or villains of any sort, just a group of random adults from seemingly very different backgrounds. M’gann had a really hard time understanding what actually brought them together other than their wishes.
Which was actually pretty useful when it came to fighting them, because nobody really cared about their fellow summoner, just trying to save their own butt. She kinda wished more of their opponents were so incompetent.
Though, she spoke too soon because in the excitement of the fight, somehow all of them didn’t realize that one or two of the summoners… actually managed to finish a summoning. It was honestly a little bit embarrassing.
But, it was too late to dwell on all that, as right above the summoning circle appeared a circle in a worryingly familiar shade of green.
Of course, this one time she didn’t have any equipment from Danny, had to be when the Team encountered a ghost.
Ghost in question was a beautiful woman, with long hair covering one of her eyes, in a blue outfit that was related to one of Earth cultures, but M’gann didn’t know which, and a bunch of bracelets on her wrists. Martian could make a hazard guess on who it was, based on the stories Danny told her.
“We don’t have time for explanations, I think I know who this is, if I’m right for the love of everything that’s dear to you, don’t say the word ‘wish’ out loud” she demanded over the Mindlink.
Before she finished, Artemis took silver tape from somewhere and slapped a piece of it over Wally’s mouth. M’gann understood the sentiment but still… it was a little bit too nuclear option.
Desiree (if it was her) didn’t attack anyone, looking a bit confused, giving Team a moment of reprieve to plan and for Kid Flash to make sure none of the summoners could make whatever wish they wanted either. Also with the use of silver tape. Djinn’s were always tricky.
M'gann used this moment of everyone getting their bearings to curse herself for not bringing any ghost weapons this time. Any other mission, Team or not, she had something on her but today? Today she had nothing.
Excluding the summoning engraved into clips holding her cape but it was kinda last resort. It wouldn't annihilate everything in one mile radius or something but she didn't want to drag Danny there if he was during a test, other ghost fight or something. She knew better than anyone that he didn’t need more distractions.
Conner crashed into a wall right next to her. Artemis seemed to lose her cool when none of her arrows seemed to reach the ghost while Robin was trying to make some counter plans with Kaldur. They couldn't do a thing to Desiree and it was a matter of seconds before she stopped entertaining them and went to the city. It… would end badly, most likely. Danny would prefer to get involved before it got that far. Yeah…
She really wished she didn’t have to call.
“I have an idea, cover for me for a minute or two”
“Bold of you to assume we can stop her from anything”
“I believe in you Wally. Just distract her”
“My water attacks seem to be effective weapon against her”
“That’s aster! What do you plan to do, M'gann?”
“Summon another ghost”
She expertly ignored yelling that followed, taking the golden clip off of her cape. She held fabric in place with absentminded use of telekinesis, while she focused on an engraved pattern. Danny's summoning circle wasn't actually too complicated or intricate but she needed to do it just right. And frankly, she just liked looking at it. Physical proof that her boyfriend would be there if she needed it. Drawn representation of who he is, the deepest and truest parts of his soul written in the language that only Universe itself could fully understand.
And it was beautiful. Absolutely incredible. Much better than Desiree's circle, thank you very much.
M’gann dropped to her knees and grabbed leftover chalk from previous summoning and crouched to quickly draw Danny's seal. She had a lot of practice from all the times she doodled it on a whim just to get something of him with her when she missed him the most. She rarely actually summoned him, again, it was difficult to align their schedules, but she was very familiar with the first step.
And it was really easy from there.
She placed the clip in the middle of the circle, shapeshifted one of her nails to get a bit of blood on the chalk and leaned back.
After a careful, deep breath, she started an incantation, putting as much power in her voice as she could.
“I call upon you guard of Amity Park, I call upon you dearest child of the Ice, I call upon you one favored by the Time, I call upon you vanquisher of the Fear, I call upon you subduer of the King, I call upon you defender and the guide, I call upon Phantom, both worlds beloved child”
Circle erupted in green light, putting a momentary pause to the fight. M’gann was still blinking spots away when a figure flung itself out of the summoning circle, right at the Desiree.
“What the fuck?!”
Only after the first punch was thrown did Danny turn back to her, with his usual, somehow both gallant and bashful smile, that without fault made her knees get a little weaker. She smiled back.
“Hello Starlight” he greeted, sounding almost casual.
“Starlight?”
“Hi Angel. Nice of you to drop by” she answered in the same manner. Wally tried to yell from behind the duck tape.
“Angel?! M'gann, who is he? Who is she?!”
“I will always come if you call” he said without any doubt, suddenly as serious as if he was sharing information that could break or make the world.
It certainly worked like that to her world. She actually melted a little on the inside.
“I know”
“Actually, that's kinda cute. I still have no idea who this is, but you go girl”
“I feel like it's not the right time Artemis”
“Not to interrupt… whatever this is, but the other ghost is escaping” Robin cut in “Also, if you want to make out afterwards, please find the room, Batman and Catwoman are traumatizing enough“
Few people snorted, while Danny blushed green. He darted back at Desiree, clearly to escape the embarrassment. M’gann stood up, totally at ease now, that he was there to take care of it.
“Will you need a hand? I don't have any tech but we have a trick or two up our sleeves!” she asked, projecting her voice so it carried through the cavernous basement without yelling.
“I'm good for now but thanks for asking!”
“M’gann, can you give us anything substantial? Who is this? How do you know him?”
“One question at the time and let's wait until he finishes, okay?“
She cut off Mindlink before anyone agreed or protested.
“Miss Martian!”
“Soup time!”
With a blast of light, Desiree got sucked in and Danny landed in front of them with a proud grin.
“My job here is done”
“It truly is. You're getting faster too”
“And thanks to who is that?”
“You”
Danny sent her both an incredulous and playful glare.
“Of course. I miraculously found a ways to not be a mess and don't crash through every wall on my way and–”
“Well, no but–”
“Let me remind you, you're not alone… also who are you dude? And where did the other lady go?” Wally asked, right after ripping the duct tape off his mouth.
“Oh, well, I'm Phantom, I usually work in Amity Park?” he said a bit unsure, as if calling him a protector was under any question. That just wouldn't do.
“He's a hero from Amity Park”
“Thanks love. It's nice to finally meet you all. M talked a lot about you!”
“Can't say same about you, sorry”
“That's fine. I know M was agonizing over how to introduce me in the best way possible. I'm really happy it's finally over,” he paused for a moment, with his brows furrowed “Did I do good? This first impression thing?”
“You're… far less imposing that I personally expected after hearing Miss Martian summoning you, but–”
“M’gann how could you hide this from us?” Conner blurted out quietly, and oh, he sounded so utterly crushed. Everyone fell silent, the playful atmosphere gone as if it had evaporated.
“I never intentionally hid it. It wasn't significant enough to mention at the start and when it became important I felt like I couldn't just drop it at you during lunch or something. I always planned to tell you, there was just never the right time nor right words. I never wanted to hide it.”
“Even just me?”
“Especially you”
“You still should've…”
“Yeah, I should. I'm sorry”
“How long ago have you met?”
“Half a year ago,” Danny said before she managed to answer “It's all kinda my fault actually. I was really set on not getting mixed up with more hero business than I had to back then. I didn't want you or Justice League finding out about me. And when I agreed, it was already really late. I'm sure she'd told you all from the get go if I let her, I'm sorry”
“Why wouldn't you want us to know about you?”
“It's… Probably not the conversation we should have right here, over gagged wannabe cultists.”
“Valid. Let's call the cops and get going. You two have much to explain”
“And you're sitting eight feet apart until you do!”
Danny leaned in to kiss her, quick and playful, before he jumped back at the demanded distance.
“Well, this still went better than at your side”
“Absolutely”
*******
Also, here is some lil arts for a longish wait, sorry again, I hope this story is yours to your expectations
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#im not sure what exact relation would be between mgann and conner#i just feel like they'd be pretty close because they bith kive full time in the base#i have half the thought that conner did have some more romantic or romantic seeming feelings towards mgann#but she pretty quickly established she wouldn’t date him#because while he look like a teenager#it's outright said in the show that he didn't exist half a year before the Bialya episode and it just rubs me the wrong way ever since#though this route is probably a bad 3am as i write these tags and come up with this thing#anyway#circle on the clip of M’gann’s isn’t actually just a reference#it's fully funtional and if she used that she wouldn't have to use incantation (danny finds it embarrassing)#but the portal it makes is also pretty small and uncomfortable to go through and she wanted danny to get there comfortably#(he may or may not once turned into a little baby man trying to go through it. it took two hours to get him cognizant enough to even try#changing back hah)#i had fun coming up with it#especially the incantation. it may not be particularly good but im quite happy with it and it was fun to come up with#i hope you like it#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sleepwalking (sylus x reader)
Okay, another one back to back with the sleep talking one - this time it's a reader who is a restless sleeper / sleepwalker, once again in the perspective of it being his first time sleeping next to you lol
Not only do I sleep walk, I also sleep stand and stare, sleep vape and sleep cuddle household objects every now and again according to my old housemate.. so I thought this would be silly to write. I kinda incorporated those into it too.
Also this was written at 3am please don't judge, its not proofread
- He's just gotten back from a busy day of back to back 'meetings', after arranging for you to come over. When he realized that he would be back late, he text you to feel free to go to bed before he got back.
- Once he slipped into bed, he closed his eyes, finally getting some well earned rest, a small smirk on his face as he wrapped his arms around you.
- This relaxed feeling didn't last long before he felt you turn over, your knee hitting him full force in the balls.
- now, he's a strong man, the leader of onychinus, one who is feared by many, and has faced near death situations many times... But this was the first time he was truly caught off guard, poor Sylus almost actually shed a tear..
- Once he got over it - although he's definitely kinda mad at you - he doesn't actually mind how often you shuffled in bed, managing to fall asleep after a short while.
- To his surprise, he found himself waking up about an hour later to an empty bed??
- However, he heard your footsteps, assuming that you had perhaps woken up to go to the bathroom... But then you stopped?
- He turned the bedside light on and his soul almost left his body - you were just standing there, staring at him. "Y/n??" He said, so exhausted at this point.
- He soon figured out that you were sleep.. staring? And he had to admit it was creepy.. and hilarious.. and his new wallpaper...
- I think he would eventually get used to it.. but he would be so moody with you the first morning after.
- He really does find it amusing after a while - especially the one time he came home to you cuddling Mephisto who was MORTIFIED.
- He would often return to you cuddling random objects, every single time taking a picture. It was surprisingly hard for him to pry them out of your arms.
- One day, he's not home at night, but he receives hundreds of missed calls and frantic texts from Luke and Kieran saying that you're possessed. "Boss! Y/n is standing and staring at us!" "They won't respond!!"
- He realises that he failed to mention that you sleep walk... And trust me, he won't actually tell them what's going on... He's such an asshole.
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#lnds#l&ds sylus#lnds headcanons#lads imagine
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
Now I kinda wanna know how husband would react if he met his old high school gf in the present
Especially if reader is around to see the reaction
(As an insecure girlie with abandonment/attachment issues, this is probs one of my worst nightmares. Especially if my guy still has feelings for the ex)
You know, as much as Henry tries to convince his mother to divorce his father, he wouldn’t ever wish that his father found another and leave. If yandere husband ever cheated on the reader, he’s definitely going to square up aka fight his father.
Henry would find his father’s diary, and at first he would think that the woman he’s talking about is his mother. And as he continues to read— all because it’s soo funny to him that his father has a diary— he’ll come to the realization that it’s about some random person he’s never met.
While he’s doing that, yandere husband actually bumps into his ex. His first instinct is to apologize, and to just go on about his day. But when he notices that it’s the person he actually had a crush on back in the day— he’s already fumbling with his words.
She honestly holds some power over him. He considers her to be his first real girlfriend, and they did have an intimate past. He instantly becomes a bit shy, and a little embarrassed when he remembers all the times he moped around when she broke up with him.
And if it’s any consolation, he’ll start to realize that them splitting apart was for the best. Gee, I think in the third fic it states that he likes the reader because they’re different from what he’s used to. A little sad, doesn’t have their life together, and they’re just someone that needs a bit of guidance to shine. And they have a good heart.
His ex now just reminds him of his coworkers and he doesn’t like that.
However, If reader was there with him, he’s definitely just apologizing and quickly walking away. He’d rather not talk about his past relationships with you, nor would he want to ever see them out of the blue. He doesn’t even want to use that opportunity to make you jealous, he wants to get out of there asap. However, since he doesn’t take the time to talk to his ex (and come to that whole realization thing), he is now thinking about them even more.
Just know that Henry is going to have a looooong talk with his father once he comes home.
#Allurilove asks#uh oh#yandere husband x you#yandere husband x henry#yandere husband x wife reader#teen!yandere husband x teen!you#yandere husbands ex#male yandere oc
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
So apparently libraries playing loud music when they're about to close is not that common as I thought
#I thought this happened everywhere#or at least everywhere in Spain#but it turns out is just Barcelona?#I was convinced this was a common and totally normal thing to do#but now i realize it's actually kinda random#Barcelona libraries are chaotic evil af#lmao#(but I'm still wondering... do they really not do this anywhere else in the world?? I can't believe it)#(please let me know if libraries do this where you live cause I refuse to think that this badass move only happens here)
0 notes
Text
something i just realized about the sages (ignoring how frustrating to use i find the sages abilities overall) when they get their enigma stone they are like wow look at how much stronger i am now!! when its really just a ... clone of them, without the parts that make them interesting- the personality, and they "give" it to you (it doesnt feel like its really yours tho bc, unlike botw, its not intergrated into your moveset- which could have been solved by just adding them to another ability wheel- so it doesnt even feel like they are really yours) but ok i can see why its stronger even if i find it boring to just duplicate the character isntead of actually making their ability be more-
but then at the very end, they join you in the battle and .. dont even make use of it? what where the engima stones even for then? i guess you could bend over backwards and say well its bc their powers cant reach you all the way down there so they have to physical join you- BUT .. when they are right next to you .. shouldnt the connection to them be back anyway? so their clones should return shouldnt they? or is the entire arena just so surpressive of that power that it wouldnt work either way? then again ... what was its use then to get them to have those stones? like how ultra hand is supposedly the focus of the game but doesnt matter to the narrative at all?
(can you unsummon them when they are there?? i havent tried it but i dont think so ..)
like obviously it would be wayy too chaotic if all sages where there twice, especially together with all the ganondorf clones too- but it kinda .. once again... makes it feel meaningless that you even got them the stones? sure they only get to you when you do it but its really just again another check box with no substance, isnt it?
(... actually .. did anyone actually need the stones? aside from ganondorf getting that huge powerup somehow- like even the original sages and sonia and stuff, are you telling me she couldnt rewind ..................................... a tea cup, on her own? or i guess the only time sonia does anythign with her stone is when she gives its power to raurus laserbeam attack he never does again ... and the other sages arent shown to gain anything from it either?? are they?? what even would minerus ability have been bc she wasnt a -utterly useless- mech back then ... the shield she does doesnt seem unique to her either bc rauru literally does it too after sonia gets falcon-punched to death to block ganondorfs .. goo beam .... i mean i guess it doesnt matter anyway bc all we see them actually do is .. stand around and talk, sometimes "hurt" (dirty) sometimes not ... so whatever i guess?)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#rewatched a video and suddendly realized this#i know its kinda nitpicky#but it still adds to the whole#...checkbox feeling of the game#liek sure ok you do it to help the regions but the thing you get from it isnt really all that cool#i felt like botw did it so much better#not just integrating it into your gameplay much more naturally so it actually feels like its ours now#but you also have a very perosnal connection to the champions#and freeing their spirits feels like rebuiliding their desecrated grave#and then at the end they actually do something to help you with the titans#even if calamtiy ganon is laughably easy and you really dont need it#... anyway#random rambling i guess#man theres so much so think about in this game#in a bad way
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
I loved NewWave and it's nominated for my top reads 2023, BUT THE JASON FICLET??? I thought it was going to be a light read but it hit me full force in the face because I didn't expect to identify so much with Jason! When I read your Jason it was like I was reading myself and I want you to know that I started reading it early at night and finished it at dawn because I constantly had to stop and cry because of how much my heart resonated with his! loved it
HI THANK YOU <3
I'm glad you identified with him! Jason is very much a character who's a little like me too. He's a born writer, and his way of using fiction to put the world in a framework that he can understand is very relatable. It leaves him a little out of touch with the reality of situations, but that's a feature and not a bug.
I can't relate as much to the racial undercurrent in the story, but I don't want to understate it. It has to suck for Jason to feel constantly compared to the blonde haired blue eyed 'perfect sidekick'. She provides something seen as valuable and ideal that Jason never could. Coming from Steph's viewpoint (and considering canon) the idea of her being unattainable perfection is deeply funny, but it's very real to Jason. Adding in Tim - who's identical to Bruce and comes from the same social strata - makes Jason feel like it's every man for himself.
That's what makes his connection with Bruce even more important, though. He's the polar opposite of Bruce in every way, but although Tim and Bruce are similar in a lot of ways, Jason and Bruce have a deep connection and understanding that Tim and Steph don't. They're both dreamers who make the world a stage, their need for justice comes from a place of great pain, and they love in quiet ways.
Jason's a special kid. Like Steph, he has so much value that he doesn't see. Unlike her, he wants more - he's hungry for it, that life with meaning and kindness. He's finally attained something good, and he's scared of losing it. He has so much to offer that he can't see, and the happiness of the story is when he's seen.
New Wave was my way of giving a character who's been routinely fucked over by canon and sidelined by fandom the spotlight. She's special and perfect and loved and recognized and important because...she's none of those things 'in real life'. I wanted to give that to her. Steph's a character I related to when I was her age, and I wanted to give that to myself too.
Jason came from a similar place. I do think canon & fanon are like...overly obsessed with him lmfao. There's a billion 'Jason joins the manor' stories and it's why I almost didn't write the story lol. But he's rarely given the chance to be a kid, one who exists in his own right - to join the Batfam out of his own choice, which is something bizarrely rare in fic. And kids like Jason are the forgotten ones, and it will always be Jason's dream to show the forgotten children that they're as much Robin as he is.
I'm glad it meant something to you ;-;. This story meant a lot to me too, which is why I can go onnnn about it lol. Thanks for reading and enjoying! <3
#tbh the only reason why the jason story was written besides my demons was the fact that#ive read a ton of jason joins the manor stories and its kinda nuts how in none of them#jason and bruce are like. friends#jason is always downright kidnapped to the manor and he's terrified of bruce until bruce Dad Proposes and theyre happy#its always 'jason realizes bruce is a good dad' and not#jason likes bruce as a person and wants to be around him and decides that this is where he wants to live his life#same on bruce's end. i never feel like there's an actual reason for why he shares his ID with a random street kid#it's always written with an element of soulmates if that makes sense#what makes jason so special? well he's jason todd the second robin#theres no actual in unverse reason why bruce picks jason#and i dont like a kid being someone you 'picked'#anyway similar to how i didnt want bruce to be a straight up father figure to steph and tim#this story was meant to show how bruce is now ready to be an actual father#and how thats shown by him forming a genuine connection born from friendship and resonance#i feel like bruce is chronically assigned Good Dad and not rly given an internal life#he wasnt ready to legitimately parent tim it was something he had to learn#idk the minute a nonPOV character is parent coded they lose all inner life and motivation#which i feel like says something about how fic writers view parents lmofa#that's another rant though#my writing#my asks
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's this thing that happens where i?? forget I'm not jewish?? technically I'm an atheist (i guess) but i was raised by and around jewish people, on jewish customs, my entire chosen family is jewish, i spent the majority of my elementary years attending after school care at a synagogue that taught jewish history, and i feel a far stronger connection to Judaism than any other religion, but the extent of my actual jewish heritage is around 0.5% Ashkenazi and again, I'm literally an athiest. ridiculous phenomenon
#random ass post but wtv#post#not tagging jumblr because not actually jewish#maybe ill fuckin convert man idk. i don't even believe in god so i feel likw thatd be disrespectful#ill be chilling looking at holiday shit an be like man. so much chrismas stuff in here. no love for us jewish folk goddamn#and then realize im Not Actually Jewish#which is kinda weird? to me? because i was pretty much raised jewish? but im not?#and on one hand i want to be able to convert for instance because i love the traditions and culture and the history and judaism is#an integral part of my identity but on the other hand i hold spite towards the concept of divine creation and i feel like being present in#the community would be appropriation-y at best and sacrilegious at worst i guess.#idk mayb I'll gaslight myself into believing in God. I'm mentally ill enough that i could probably do it#fuck it i believe in god now. whatever. there's probably a guy somewhere in all this shit
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the whimsy of private battles in splat 2 are totally unmatched to anything splat 3 has tbh. doing squid parties the whole match, going out of bounds with help of glitches and writing messages in the ground like the splatoon version of pictochat was just great
#some of my favorite memories of splat 2 are the crazy out of bound stuff we could do without actually speaking to each other#I'm sure it still exists in splat 3 but I feel like it's more rare now#some people are taking this game way too seriously idk#((also I kinda realized that inviting yourself to random people's private lobbies is. kinda not very nice))#rambling?? ranting?? I'll take both
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've posted photos of how chaotic my illustration brainstorm pgs are but heres an artistic recreation of what my project notebooks end up looking like
#random rambles#this brainworm project is a horror podcast#im gonna be formalizing all the prpject notes into obsidian soon me thinks#i got a few game concepts tumbling about#along with some comics/zines and now this podcast#so i need to line all my ducks (projects) up and decide which one to shoot (develop full time)#i kinda bounce between things as my ideas and motive flow#but i wanna finish some stuff soon so im prob gonna focus in on a smaller project and go from there#aint no race but i know there are some folks ive talked to my games about who are very 👀 about progress#(if you are one of those ppl ily cause u help me realize my ideas are fun and ppl would wanna actually see them lmao)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
*collapses on the floor and starts having visions (new fic ideas)*
#godsrambles#godsficideas#tags essay#the idea is: in his early portal travel days. ford thinks he has discovered a way to quickly and easily confront and kill bill#it sounds almost too good to be true. but he has to try.#the random alien stranger/s who sold him this 'opportunity' for a high price are like 'ok. setting up the death ray now. brb'#'meanwhile a portal to bills dimension will start opening up. its safe youll be fine.'#so ford is sitting in this tiny storage room place with an alleged portal to the nightmare realm slowly opening up before his eyes.#and bill is on the other side of the so-called 'portal.' he can look right back at ford. fords like 'hmm i hate this actually im going'#turns out the door is locked. fords first thought is 'uh oh they sold me out to bill it was all a trick'. but bill is unable to reach him.#it isnt even a portal. its just a glorified interdimensional video call. they locked the door to give them enough time to run off#before ford realized the scam. so bill laughs at him for a min. and then they have a conversation. ford finally asks 'Why??'#'why would you ruin my life??'. and bill kinda. obliges him just this once. drops his cheerful annoying act just this once.#and answers him plainly and honestly 'I didnt. i didnt try to ruin your life. it never even crossed my mind how your life could be affected#'it was all a means to an end. i wasnt ever out to get you. you never factored in at all beyond your use for making the portal.'#'i never even thought about you when we werent interacting. not even once. you think i had some big evil scheme that youre at the center of#'youre insignificant to me. all that happened was: you fell for a scam.'#'will the guys who locked you in here ever think about you again? theyve probably forgotten your face and name already.'#'im not out to get you. i just want my job finished. the same way those guys just wanted their money.'#the bottom line of the convo being: bill really *doesnt* give a single fuck. and ford never mattered to him.#not even enough for him to *think* about ford every now and then.#fords holding a grudge against a guy who barely even remembers him.#obviously this goes against my interpretation of canon but it would still be fun to write#au where bill Truly doesnt care about ford in any way and isnt even interested by him at all#the inspiration for this was just the concept of: how crushing the realization would be for ford#the horror of realizing exactly how insignificant you are in the eyes of the eldritch being that ruined your life#i am willing to write something that feels ooc for bill when it is for angst purposes lmao#indifferent-eldritch-being bill is such an angsty concept. very fun to explore#an ao3 fic called 'the bolt that busted off the lever' (iirc) has this interpretation of bill and it is great#bill looking *bored* while interacting with ford??? absolutely heartbreaking concept 10/10
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i randomly remember things about my childhood! (neko atsume)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss the games i used to play as a kid !! on browser or mobile or whatever !!#there's this one. ps2 or ps3 game me and lune used to play a lot and we once looked for it years ago and found it again#but now. ever since then. we can't :(( i still remember jumping... and then that waterfall......#kh is so special to me. only ever played a bit of 1 and then the full of 3 so i am very weird but. yeah!#i never got off the island! and then . that really stuck /pos and then i got into kh3 yeaaaars after#bcs my aunt (bless her. shes the one who gets us into a lot of games ngl) got kh3 but she didnt. really like it if i'm not mistaken#understandable but i still really enjoyed kh3 hehe ^^ even w its imperfections! game was kinda ya fr but <3#and then i really just. realized. that oh! this is something from my childhood!!#anyways yeah most of all i probably miss ofc the memories#but also the games on browser. jmkit was smth i really remember LOL i was a roleplay kid fr lmfaooo#BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. since uhh. that thing people used to do games n stuff on browser shut down#ig ever since then i've not played on browser as often! ig that's one reason why i really like gbf#it's better for me to play in the app on my phone but also browser is just. really nice for numerous reasons ofc#but also it reminds me of that !! anyways i rmbr the bartender game so well#and the one w the haunted house and the ghosts good gods the games i liked to play as a kid#lowkey really make sense LMFAO SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY. untitled goose game vibes fr#yeah i once got scammed on this one browser game. i was so sad LMFAO BLESS I NEVER USED MY ACTUAL EMAIL#<- back then my emails were random ones like. they always were to do w crystals tho#so you can see one reason why raha is vv special to me :] awh man i used to be a mlp kid. good times#mhm yeah ... !! i used to be super into lego too. movies games and ofc the toys and all. hehe#tbh a lot of these stuff i actually do want to get back into. its less... 'growing out of it' for me and more 'growing into other things'#as i age and having to actually manage my time now. and the reality of being an adult somewhat soon is. there#and i don't think peer pressure affects me as much as... some but it's also quite there. i want to fit in... kinda? not really? kinda?#whoops that took a turn. help. ANYWAYS BACK TO IT ARGHH I MISS THOSE WEBSITES !!!!!#wordguy or something awh man no wonder i was a smart and nerdy kid and until now. i was always into those stuff#fun fact kid me i liked to collect paper. mostly so i could write but yeah. fun fact i also was known as the jacket kid in like idk 6th#grade and 5th? bcs i always wore my jacket even w ph weather being the way it is <3#yk change is scary. im a sentimental person! its so scary but at the same time so cool n interesting#sigfjsbdkdbskdn. interesting how all we come across in life (esp as kids!) shape and change us
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
REN REN REN REN REN REN REN REN REN REN
I overslept this morning but forget that HE'S BACK. AFTER 1185 DAYS. (forget that's he's immediately boxing ppl)
BROOFDSJFKJDSKF I DIDNT EVEN KNOW UNTIL I CHECKED YOUR POST BUT HOLY SHIT AHDKFJ DAMN HES ACTUALLY UNSEALED I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN
#IM STILL TOO SCARED TO READ JJK THO HELP ME#ren's asks#someone put on the music#its gonna be a party#kinda surprised it wasnt all over my feed#what a coincidence last night i was talking with my anime only friend about gojo being in the box#he thought gojo was out of the box#but i told him no#and said i would def know if he was out of the box#WELL TURNS OUT I ACTUALLY DIDNT REALIZE#i hate how he predicted the manga without even reading it#why do i feel like im in a historical moment LMFAOOA#also random but in the leak image you reblogged#the artstyle looked different so i didnt recognize gojo#and it said “imawa no kiwa” so i automatically thought of aib because in japanese its imawa no kuni no arisu#and i was terribly confused#LOL#anyways heading off to bed now#for some reason lately i cant stay up past 10 without feeling sick
1 note
·
View note
Text
Old record player spin my beloved <3
#just ignore the odd bumps on my thumb lol#realizing this may be the first time anyone will take notice of it due to how close it is in 4k resolution /j#but yeah honestly not sure why I have them! Just callus from funky drawing habits I guess#and the little brown skin dot too jksjksp#anywho enjoy the small snippet of As Long As You Follow (Fleetwood Mac)#honestly such a pretty song wish it was more well known#I’m getting back into the classics and assimilating myself into old tech because the fatigue from digital is getting to me#kinda feels different to have renewed fascination with a time period you never got to experience#Nostalgia but the curious sort#plus as much as I adore everything that I experience growing up in 2000’s with the internet and fandom culture it can be a bit much at time#nice to just be away from the screen and listen to physical music ya know? At least that’s what I’m trying out for a bit#gives me a push to actually be in reality with it since I typically rely on music for some level of escapism#also maybe I’m getting too introspective here but it’s nice being able to give personal use to a medium that goes discarded nowadays#It’s like paying tribute to something that paved the way to where we are now#and giving it a well deserved thank you and extra love#A-ANYWAYS record go brrrrr am I right haha#update#Fleetwood Mac#record player#vinyl#random
0 notes
Text
Guess who just downloaded mystic messenger again 🫦✌🏻
#partly because i was looking at old memes i saved on Pinterest#partly because im not scheduled to work the entire week#partly because I know more korean language and culture stuff now#im just waiting for that jumin 'am i your bias' line again now that i dont have to use context clues to figure out what it means LOL#also i thought jaehees fan behavior toward zen was weird like if you like him why Dont you even remotely consider dating him?#but then i became a kpop fan and realized in hindsight that thats just the fan culture lol#but now I can actually read the stuff in hangeul on the start page! i might know the random voice lines that happen in the chat rooms!#im kinda excited!
0 notes