#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on

[thebibliosphere]

My husband and I were discussing how the first felon is defending the FDA and how the quality control of our food is gonna basically disappear and I proceeded to have so much anxiety about it that I didn't sleep last night. How do we prepare for this? Is there a way to make food safe at home? How can we avoid getting poisoned from the grocery store? Sorry for bringing this anxiety to your inbox but I'm exhausted and scared and I'm hoping you've come up with food safety tips what with your general food complications.

I’m afraid I don’t have a solution for something of this scale and am just as equally terrified, but that said:

Check your local state regulations. Some states actually have strict testing that the FDA when it comes to certain things like milk. See if they are listing any recalls.

Stop eating things raw for the foreseeable future. Wash and cook everything thoroughly, even if the bag claims it’s pre-washed, wash it again. Cooking will also help eliminate any remaining pathogens. It means no more salads for a while but that’s okay.

For things like fruit, try to go with things that have an outer skin that can be taken off. If it requires you to cut into it with a knife, give the outer skin a scrub and rinse to reduce the chances of your knife being contaminated by anything like e-coli and then contaminating the insides by cutting it up.

For fruit that can’t be peeled, make sure to inspect and wash them thoroughly. If you are immunocompromised like me, consider cooking it down into a jam or pie filling to reduce further risk. Not as fun as eating it fresh for some people, but it’s a valid way of still getting the flavor and nutrients.

For things like milk, only drink pasteurized and ultra pasteurized. Try to get pasteurized eggs if you can too.

If you don’t have a meat thermometer, now is the time to get one. Make sore everything is cooked to its required internal temperature. For poultry, the recommended temperature is 165°F (74°C), while for beef and pork, the recommended temperature is 145°F (63°C) with a 3-minute rest time. Ground meats should be cooked to 160°F (71°C). Eggs should be cooked until the yolk is set. No more runny egg yolks for a bit until we get a competent source of information back about bird flu.

For things like flour, try to go for reputable brands that have their own independent testing facilities for things like gluten. They also usually test for other things and clean their facilities thoroughly. My go to is King Arthur atm.

Also, stop eating raw cookie dough if you’re not going to toast the flour in the oven first. That’s how a lot of people get sick, not necessarily from the raw egg, though stop eating raw egg right now if you do. Again, bird flu. [Addendum] I learned the flour trick in a job I used to work, but apparently, the pre-defunded FDA didn't think toasting the flour made it safe, so maybe just don't eat raw cookie dough. And I know someone's going to be a cunt in the notes like "I don't care I do what I want" good for you, hope saying that made you feel better.]

This is a dwindling possibility with the tariffs but try to buy food imported from other countries that still have food quality control. I get my masa harina from a small company that imports directly from Colombia. They can’t afford the gluten free label required to be classified as such in the USA, but considering Cheerios in the USA can afford to buy that label and the celiac foundation certification logo and still routinely sells contaminated produce due to not using gluten free oats and a mechanical sorting system that can’t be certified gluten free (1) (2) (3), I’m more inclined to go with other countries labeling right now.

With clean water under threat, use a filter for your drinking water. We currently use the ones by Life Straw. They don’t fit into your faucet but the LS filters are better than most of the ones that can be attached that way and the housing of the jugs and countertop filters are easy to clean. Make sure you do so once a week and change the filters as directed.

Most of this is just basic food hygiene stuff combined with what it’s like to be immunocompromised, but it’s always worth repeating in case someone didn’t know, but especially worth repeating right now with all our rules and regulating bodies going out the window 😞

[kxsagi]

HIII!! love your writing 🙈 can i request bllk guys w an extremely pretty reader, i’m talking everywhere they go ppl are turning their heads to admire. (with karasu, rin, barou and whoever u can pick) feel free to ignore, thanks !!

“𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞”

a/n: thank you!!! omg this is me whenever i see my readers why are you guys so head-turning jaw droppingly gorgeous pls save some for the rest of us???

facial features perfect af, smiles beautiful af (pls go lip sync to maria by justin bieber in the mirror and bask in this confidence)

ft. karasu tabito, itoshi rin, barou shoei, itoshi sae, kaiser michael

karasu tabito

he thought he was ready. 

you’re his partner. you’re hot. he knew this. but the first time y’all go out in public together post-soft-launch? karasu realizes he is wildly underprepared. 

you walk into the mall and heads turn like you’ve got your own gravitational pull. dudes tripping over their own feet. girls side-eyeing you like you invented contour. an old man literally tips his hat. 

and karasu? karasu’s standing there like 💀 

“do i even exist right now,” he mutters. 

you sip your drink and go, “you’re just my silly little accessory.” 

he laughs. he can’t even be mad. 

but then someone asks you if you're a model and karasu panics. 

“yes, she is,” he cuts in, way too fast. “and she’s also very taken, thank you.” 

starts hovering behind you like a security guard with a minor superiority complex. 

"stop acting like my bodyguard," you say. 

"i'm not. i'm acting like your boyfriend who will throw hands at a 17-year-old if he stares at your ass one more time." 

itoshi rin

you are the bane of rin’s existence. and also the love of his life. 

he’s trying to go to the convenience store for ice cream and you’re there, looking like a runway model in joggers and a hoodie. 

you walk in and the store clerk drops his phone. 

"what flavor do you want?" you ask, oblivious. 

"the one that doesn't make people stare at you like you're the second coming of christ," rin snaps. 

he is not built for this level of social interaction. or this level of beauty-induced chaos. 

you think it’s cute when strangers compliment you. rin looks like he’s planning several hypothetical murders. 

and the worst part? 

every time he thinks he's gotten used to it, you smile at him. and it’s like the world goes silent. suddenly the stares don’t matter. 

"stop looking at me like that," he grumbles. 

you blink. "like what?” 

"like you actually like me or something." 

and you just grin. 

rin glares at the ground. he’s so done. he’s so whipped. he wants to scream. 

barou shoei

you’re a problem. an actual, walking, talking, heart-stopping problem. 

you show up in gym clothes and barou feels the earth shift. 

he already looks like a bouncer 24/7, so when people stare at you for more than three seconds, he’s automatically squaring up like he's in a street fighter game. someone whistles once and he growls. like. growls. 

you have to physically grab his face and say: “no mauling strangers today.” 

barou’s solution is just to glare at everyone. even babies. 

you’re like “babe. please. stop intimidating children.” 

“should’ve kept their eyes to themselves.” 

"he was a toddler." 

"he knew what he was doing.” 

but every time you reassure him – say you’re only his, kiss his cheek, sneak your hand into his – he softens. turns into a grumpy, silent puppy. still scary, but like… protective scary. 

you catch him staring and he just goes, “what.” 

“you’re looking at me again.” 

“i’m checking if you’re still real.” 

itoshi sae

you are his worst-kept secret. 

not because he wanted to keep you hidden, but because the second you step outside with him, everyone starts talking. he takes you to a match and it’s all “who’s that with sae???” on twitter within five minutes. 

he doesn’t mind, honestly. but when you’re in public and people won’t stop looking, he gives that look. you know the one. that dead-eyed, judgmental, “you’re beneath me” stare that says blink again and i’ll ruin your self-esteem. 

you’re like, “sae, they’re not doing anything.” 

“they’re breathing in your direction. that’s enough.” 

you laugh. he doesn’t. 

but he also spoils the hell out of you. treats you like you’re royalty. 

“you look good today,” you say. 

he shrugs. “i know. but you look better.” 

and the way he says it is so casual it knocks the air out of you. 

his love language is making everyone else feel inferior to you. 

michael kaiser

oh. he’s thriving. 

you’re pretty? you’re show-stopping, scenery-devouring, wreck-my-focus-on-the-pitch pretty? kaiser is the proudest man alive. 

walks beside you like you’re a trophy he won and he’s never giving back. 

“they’re all looking at you,” you whisper. 

he smirks. “and at me. by association. it’s perfect.” 

has zero shame, even when he doesn’t realize they’re not looking at him, they’re looking at you. 

"take a picture with me," he says mid-date. 

"why?" 

"so i can remind people i won the genetic lottery twice – once with my face, once with you." 

but oh, let someone try to flirt. he’ll go full drama mode. puts on his fake nice voice like, “hey man, great taste. but unfortunately, i got there first.” 

then stares at you like you hung the moon and sun. 

"you’re too hot for this world," he says. 

“so are you.” 

“i know. we’re gonna destroy mankind together.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[hyperfixiation-station]

Behind Enemy Lines Pt.2

CW: Detailed description of wounds and torture, talk of derealization, disassociation, medical inaccuracies Summary: You were a friendly medic, captured years ago and held prisoner, forced to do do the bidding of your captors. Years later, a man by the name of Ghost is dragged in and changes the trajectory of your life A/N: I had severe ADHD, and i am unmedicated rn, and it makes it really hard to work on things unless I get the hyperfocused drive for it, so I'm sorry I'm so bad at making the other parts to my fics. Know that I will never abandon them. it just might take me a while. ALSO I CAN'T FIND THE SAME GIF I USED FOR THE LAST ONE IM SO SAD and also this is shorter than the last one idea playlist part 1 thanks to @haven247 for being my beta

“I'm a medic, please I don't know anything!” wrists strapped, metal on metal, ears ringing

���Stop please I-” touching, pulling, biting

“Im just a medic pl-” it hurts it hurts stop it please

“I don't know anything!” I'm innocent in this

“Please!” just let me die

“Stop it, please!” hurts hurts hurts

God just let me go

Humans are a funny thing. They crave life and living, no matter how awful the circumstance. You thought a lot about the apocalypse shows you used to binge watch, though about how they all fought to survive, even when it would have been better to die. You never really understood them until now. How someone could lose everything, be betrayed and hurt again and again and still want to live. And yet here you are.

Maybe hope if foolish. You'd lost hope for a long time, or at least you'd thought you'd had. But as the soldiers came crashing into your prison, as they held you at gunpoint as you tried to save their friend, you could feel her crawling out of the dark recesses of your heart. Her light was flickering, but there.

Stepping outside almost sends you into shock. The sights, the sounds the smells, everything just came rushing at you like a freight train. For so long you'd been floating in some half-aware state, the world around you muted and dull, and to have it crash back in like this was startling, to say the least. You would have fallen if not for the dark-skinned soldier holding your arm in a vice-like grip.

You can hear gunfire and screaming, so loud it almost made your ears hurt. Smell the smoke and the burning rubber. Feel the wind in your tangled hair and the blood slicking your hands. The blood. It is hot and slippery, coating your hands and soaking into your ratty t-shirt. You can hear Ghost's rattling, wet breaths, smell the metallic scent of his blood, feel the way his meat, his muscles and fat, brushed against your hand as you kept him from bleeding out, can feel his organs pressing against your fingers with each shuddering breath he takes.

Oddly enough, these sensation help ground you. They were things you knew, feeling you had grown accustomed to since your first day in med school.

You reach a helicopter, the rotors already spinning. Its a bit of a struggle to get in while making sure you don't let go of Ghost, but you manage. The soldiers carrying him place him on a row of seats, and you kneel down next to his body, hand still firmly holding gauze in place.

It wasn't doing much good, but it's not like you could tell anyone.

"Help him." The soldier with the mustache orders the moment you're in the air. He thrusts a med-kit at you, and the dark-skinned soldier opens it for you, showing you the contents.

They don't give you much to work with. Some gauze, a needle and thread, bandages, and a lighter. Rudimentary supplies. But hey, you've done more with less. Probably.

Your free hand drifts to the lighter, a distant memory of a soldier and a gunshot wound in a similar area flashing through your mind. It's not quite the same, more than just an artery nicked this time, but cauterization is all you can really do.

You grab the lighter, flicking it on and holding to his body. a hand closes like vice around your wrist, yanking your hand away.

"What the 'ell are ye doin'" A man with a Scottish accent practically snarls at you. You whine in response, tugging your arm uselessly.

"Soap." The mustache man says sharply, "Let 'em work."

"Sir-"

"Let them go." Your wrist drops, and you fumble with the lighter before holding the fame to Ghost's skin. You watch in sick fascination as his skin bubbles and burns, the fat and muscles shrinking away under the flame, the blood vessels sealing precariously as the heat sears them shut.

You don't know what effects this will have on his organs, if he'll be able to function the same way again. But you have to keep him alive. You look at his pale face, watch the way his chest shudders with every breath.

God you hope he makes it.

~line break~

They don't let you was before throwing you in a cell. Okay, maybe they didn't throw you, but regardless, you were still cuffed to a table with Ghost's blood crusted to your skin. It was gross. And cruel. They had stripped you away the second you reached the infirmary, not letting you see what was going to happen to your patient.

The door swings open and you flinch, looking up at the soldier that comes in with eyes. Its the man from the helicopter. Soap, you think his name is.

"Yer lucky the medics sayd he'll live." He says, his voice distinctly Scottish. He stalks towards you, sitting on the table on your left side.

" 've been instructed tae question ye, but first we ha'e tae git a look at yer face." He reaches for your mask, tugging it off your ear. All he succeeds in doing is pulling your head forward.

The mask is secured behind your head with a metal clasp, and could only be opened with a specific key, ensuring you couldn't take it off. You had tried, at first, to pull the stitches out, and this was the solution. You can't pull out stiches if you can't touch your mouth.

Soaps brow furrows, a flicker of confusion crossing his face. HE grimaces as he touches your hair, finally just pulling a knife out of his pocket. You tense automatically, squirming away as he brings it closer to you.

"Oh for fu- hold still!" He grasps your head, sliding the knife through the cloth by your ear. The mask falls away, leaving your face exposed

"Lets see what we're-" He freezes, the knife dropping to the floor with a clatter as he sees the mess that is your face. Your lips are sewn together, and the skin of your cheeks is red and raw from the tape that holds your feedign tube on.

"Oh shit." the blood drains from his face, his hand fumbling for the comm unit on his vest.

"Cap? Yeah, we've got a problem."

A/N: Okay, i'm not sure I like the second half, but here it is! Part 3 will have more Ghost/medic interaction :) tags: I definitely didn't get them all, I'm sorry there was just so many of you @smile6890 @cricricorner @unclearblur @redzluvvesage @just-a-harmless-potato-05  @vesna-the-spring @princess312 @norsehorseofcourse-blog @bonniperinktrance @soggywafflezz  @littlebunie @sirbonesly @havoc973 @mommymilkers0526 @thegreyjoyed @pinkiliciousgunp0int @poopoobuttsy @darcellethedreamer @kamote-kuneho @z-wantstowrite @i-ate-ur-fries @fakeguysarehot @shitrandom @yunho-leeknow @idontreallyexistyet 

[duoteen]

angry sex with minghao?

Always Dancing || Xu Minghao

Notes: your bitch got home early hehe she’s gonna put out a fewww YIPEEE

Minghao comes home late again, his body aching from hours of practice. You're sitting on the couch, watching TV, and the sight of you only adds to his frustration. "I don't have time for this," he snaps, tossing his bag onto the floor. "I have a showcase coming up and I need to perfect my routine."

You look up at him, hurt flashing in your eyes. "We haven't had a real date in weeks," you say quietly. "I just want to spend some time with you." Minghao runs a hand through his hair, his expression conflicted. "I know, I know," he mutters. "But dancing is my passion. You knew that when we got together."

He starts pacing the room, his movements jerky and agitated. "Why can't you understand that I have to prioritize my career right now?" You stand up, anger replacing the hurt on your face. "I do understand, but I'm not asking for much," you say firmly. "Just one night. One night where you put me first."

Minghao turns to face you, his eyes flashing with anger. "Fine," he spits out. "Let's go out tonight. But don't expect me to drop everything just because you want to be romantic." You scoff at Minghao's words, your patience finally wearing thin. "Romantic? Is that all you think I want?" you say, your voice sharp.

Minghao rolls his eyes, crossing his arms defensively. "What else would you want? Dinner and a movie? You know I can't stand those clichés." You step closer to him, your expression fierce. "I want to feel like I matter to you," you say bluntly. "Like your career isn't the only thing that matters."

Minghao looks taken aback by your boldness, but his pride keeps him from backing down. "You do matter," he insists. "But my dancing is my life." The tension between you is palpable, crackling in the air like electricity. Your eyes lock with his, both of you unwilling to back down from the fight.

"Your dancing isn't the only thing that matters to me," you say through gritted teeth. "I'm tired of being second place in your life." Minghao clenches his jaw, his hands curling into fists. "You're not second place," he growls. "But you can't expect me to give up everything for you." You step even closer, invading his personal space. "I'm not asking you to give up everything," you say quietly. "Just to find some balance. To show me that I mean as much to you as your dancing."

Minghao's eyes darken with desire and frustration, his body tensing as you challenge him. "You want to see how much you mean to me?" he asks, his voice low and dangerous. You nod, your own body responding to the heat in his gaze. The air between you is thick with tension, the unspoken promise of something wild and raw.

Minghao grabs your wrist and spins you around, pinning you against the wall. "You want me to show you?" he repeats, his breath hot against your ear. His body is pressed against yours, hard and unyielding as he holds you in place. You can feel his erection pressing against your backside, his need for you barely contained.

"I'll show you how much I want you," he growls, his free hand sliding up your body to grip your jaw. "How much I need you." He turns your face towards him, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. It's rough and possessive, his tongue invading your mouth as he takes control. You moan into the kiss, arching your back against him as your anger melts into desire. The anger and frustration from earlier is still there, but it's being twisted into something darker, something more primal.

Minghao breaks the kiss, his eyes dark with lust as he looks down at you. "You want to be in charge tonight?" he asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Go ahead. Try to take control." You push back against him, spinning around to face him again. "I don't want to be in charge," you say, your eyes flashing with defiance. "I want you to lose control."

Minghao's eyes narrow, a smirk playing on his lips. "You want me to be rough with you?" he asks, his hands sliding down to grip your hips. You nod, biting your lip as you look up at him. "I want you to forget about your routine," you say, your voice trembling slightly. "Forget about everything but me."

Minghao's grip tightens on your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he pulls you closer. "You're playing with fire," he warns, his eyes burning with intensity. Minghao carries you to the bedroom, his grip firm and possessive as he throws you onto the bed. You bounce slightly on the mattress, looking up at him with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

He towers over you, his chest heaving as he looks down at your body. "Take off your clothes," he commands, his voice low and rough. You obey quickly, stripping off your clothes until you're lying naked on the bed. Minghao's eyes roam over your body, taking in every inch of you as he slowly undresses himself.

"You're so beautiful," he says, his voice rough with desire. "But tonight, you're mine to ruin." He crawls onto the bed, caging you in with his body as he kisses you again. This time, the kiss is more brutal, his teeth nipping at your lips as he claims your mouth.

Minghao breaks the kiss, moving down to your neck as he begins to mark you with bites and kisses. "You're going to be covered in bruises tomorrow," he growls, his breath hot against your skin. You arch into his touch, gasping as he sucks a particularly sensitive spot on your neck. His hands are everywhere, roaming over your body as he maps out every curve and valley.

"I'm going to make you scream," he promises, his fingers finding your clit and circling it slowly. "Make you forget everything but my name." You moan at his touch, your body already trembling with need. Minghao's eyes flash with satisfaction as he watches you fall apart under his fingers.

"That's it," he murmurs, his voice low and seductive. "Let go for me. Show me how much you want this." Minghao pulls away from you suddenly, a wicked smile on his face as he watches you teeter on the edge of orgasm. "Not yet," he says, his voice filled with amusement. You whimper in frustration, your body aching for release. "Please," you beg, trying to grind against his hand.

Minghao chuckles darkly, pinning your hips down with his free hand. "I told you, I'm in control tonight," he reminds you. "And I'm not done playing with you yet." He continues to tease you, circling your clit but never giving you quite enough friction to send you over the edge. The tension builds inside you, growing more and more unbearable with each passing moment.

"Minghao," you gasp, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes. "Please, please let me come. Minghao pulls his hand away from you, his cock standing proud and ready as he moves to position himself between your legs. "You're going to come on my cock," he says, his eyes glinting with satisfaction.

He lines himself up with your entrance, the head of his cock teasing your folds. "Beg for it," he demands, his voice rough with need. You're so desperate for him, so desperate for release, that you don't even hesitate. "Please, please fuck me," you whimper, your body writhing beneath him. "I need you inside me."

Minghao grins at your submission, pushing into you in one swift thrust. "Good girl," he groans, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he feels your tight heat surround him. Minghao sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping against yours as he fucks you hard and fast. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixed with your moans and his grunts of pleasure.

"You're so tight," he grunts, his hands gripping your thighs as he holds you open for him. "So perfect." You can feel every inch of him as he thrusts into you, the sensation almost overwhelming. The earlier denial has made you even more sensitive, and you can feel your orgasm building again, stronger than before.

"Minghao, I'm close," you gasp, your nails digging into his shoulders as you cling to him. "Please, please let me come this time." He leans down to kiss you, his tongue tangling with yours as he continues to pound into you. "Come for me," he growls against your lips. "Come on my cock like a good little slut." You come hard, your body convulsing around Minghao's cock as he continues to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm with relentless force. The pleasure is so intense that it borders on pain, and you sob out his name as tears stream down your face.

"That's it," he groans, his movements becoming erratic as he nears his own release. "Take it all, take everything I give you." He leans down to bite your shoulder, his teeth sinking into your skin as he reaches his peak. With a loud moan, he spills inside you, his cock twitching with each pulse of his release. Minghao collapses on top of you, breathing heavily as he comes down from his high. You can feel his heart racing against your chest, and for a moment, the only sound in the room is the two of you trying to catch your breath.

Minghao rolls off of you, pulling you into his arms as he strokes your hair gently. "You were amazing," he whispers, his voice rough from exertion. You snuggle into his chest, still feeling the aftershocks of your intense orgasm. "I needed that," you admit, your voice hoarse.

He kisses the top of your head, holding you close as he begins to soften inside you. "I needed it too," he says quietly. "I'm sorry for being so distant lately." You look up at him, your expression softening as you see the vulnerability in his eyes. "I know you are," you say, reaching up to cup his cheek. "But we need to find a balance, Hao."

Minghao nods, his eyes closing as he leans into your touch. "I know," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll try harder, I promise."

[xerserise]

I used to supervise the graphics department of a small publishing company, making coffee table travel books. I was their highest paid non-management employee. (I didn't have authority over employees, I had authority over the design made by the employees. And a lot of organizational and technical responsibility, in addition to the design work that I did for the books and for the company.) It was one of my last jobs, and I've had a lot.

I've also had thousands of dollars of dental work, because I couldn't get myself to brush my teeth regularly.

I don't work for a living anymore, because trying to survive as a worker under capitalism gave me autistic burnout and an adult-onset tic disorder. Thankfully, with the help of friends, family, social workers, and a lot of trauma that I could have done without, I survived and won my Disability claim.

Now I pay someone to call me multiple times a week, on a schedule, so that I can make plans for the upcoming week (and the rest of the day), be reminded of things that Past Me thought were important, and go down my list of basic things that I need to make sure I do (brush teeth, take meds, clean and refill my humidifier, look at and reply to my messages and mail and such, etc.). It's been a huge benefit to my life, over these past years.

If I were working, I wouldn't have the energy, focus, or capacity to work on my own life and goals the way I do now. I know this, because when I was working, all I could manage was work and escapism and sleep.

My autism and ADHD diagnoses came after the breakdown and the onset of the tic disorder, after I had become completely unable to work, was struggling to eat enough (for stress reasons), and was losing an unhealthy amount of weight (which messes with brain chemistry), at a time when I was very traumatized and unable to mask.

But I was unable to handle it all, long before then. I used to drink and smoke all evening, pass out, wake up, go to work, and do it again. I had dirty dishes that stayed in the sink for over a year. And I would go to work every day. I would manage to do my laundry before everything was dirty, and shower before work, and do the things that were required to appear normal once I walked out my door. But that was it. I had cavities that I could see and feel, and I did nothing about them until my canine tooth broke. I moved my futon into the living room, because my bedroom was filled with boxes of stuff that I didn't want to deal with. The bedroom became a place to shove stuff out of the way. I almost never opened the door.

I was able to have a job. But I wasn't able to also have a life worth living. Now? Now that I have a meager income from SSDI? I'm living a simple life, focused on myself and my needs, with support. And I'm giving support to others. And I'm finally connecting with a few people, and making real friends for the first time in my life, as I near 50 years of age. I'm using my knowledge and experience to build a local queer Discord, to help others find connection.

I can't work (anymore). But that doesn't mean I can't contribute to society. I can contribute far more as a happier person who is connected to community and free to follow their interests than I could as a lonely and depressed replaceable staff member who disassociates all the time.

And even if I couldn't contribute, I would deserve food and shelter and medical care and the like. Because everyone deserves it.

Instead, the requirements of life, of community, of basic human interactions, are used as ways to extract as much money as possibly from the workers who create everything. Are denied us, kept behind barbed wire, with fees to access anything.

And pointing the finger at groups of people, saying 'they are useless, they are taking your resources, they are destroying your family, you deserve more', is a good way to get folks to ignore the systems that paywall life itself and instead blame the people who such a system already marginalizes and oppresses.

People can contribute to society in many ways, while also requiring support from society.

Our value as a human beings exist whether or not we can contribute to society.

And many jobs exist that don't contribute to a happier, healthier, more welcoming world. Only to a dystopian hellscape. Sure, you're contributing. But why?

Many, many things are being implied when disabled and neurodivergent people are called burdens on society.

Society, as it is, is a burden on us.

Fuck the system.

“Of course autistic people can go to the bathroom by themselves and have jobs!!” Some can’t. They’re not burdens or an “epidemic” either. Please don’t get pulled into an argument about usefulness, because that feeds into their baseline eugenic idea that you have to “contribute to society” to justify your existence. Nobody’s worth is tied to what they can do for the state.

[magical-regical]

Night Blooming Flowers

A Leona Kingscholar x f!yuu fic

Word count: 1273

(ok I know I usually do gn!yuu but this one's for me especially, capiche?)

The incident at Styx didn't leave many people unscathed and even though the majority of those involved made a full recovery, a certain prefect wasn't so lucky.

She didn't realize it until it was over. She just saw Grim being flung off of Ortho's shoulder and Vil trying desperately to grab him while also holding on to Idia. Her body moved before her mind and she barely had time to shout at Rook to keep her afloat before her body was free-falling through the air, one arm outstretched to grab the direbeast's paw.

She remembered holding Grim against her chest and the sudden change in momentum knocking the wind out of her chest. She remembered solid ground beneath her feet, people talking, getting on to a plane, and the sound of someone wailing until they touched down in the NRC sports field. It wasn't until Deuce shouted,

"Yuu, your face!"

that got her body out of auto-pilot. She moved to lift her right arm to touch her face when she realized she'd lost all feeling in said arm.

There was nothing to be done. Lilia surmised that because she had absolutely zero magic in her there wasn't anything stopping the underworld from directly draining the life from her cells and no room for magic to restore it either.

Now she's lying there in her room for the n-th sleepless night, her entire right forearm replaced by a styx-made prosthetic. The amputation procedure was unbelievably quick and painless and the top-of-the-line prosthetic that responded to her brain's signals just as well as her real arm would made the rehabilitation period practically negligible. No, that wasn't the problem. The problem was on her head, literally. The underworld had killed off some of the cells in her face and hair. The doctors were able to prevent the cells from going necrotic but you could still tell where they were from the white tips of hair and patches of skin on her face.

After tossing and turning for who knows how long she gave up and got out of bed. Not wanting to wake Grim who was snoring peacefully on his side of the bed, she left the room, closing the door as quietly as possible.

She walked with no particular destination until she reached the botanical gardens, which had been perfectly restored in record time thanks to the diligent efforts of the Shrouds. She was making her way through the temperate zone of the garden towards the subtropical zone where most of the night-blooming flowers grew when she stepped on a strange branch.

"I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose."

She jumped like a cat seeing a cucumber. Leona's tail retreated towards him as he sat up, letting out a yawn,

"What are you even doing here at this hour?"

"I could ask you the same question."

Leona growled, "I was sleeping, obviously. Until I was so rudely woken up."

"Well pardon me your highness." She said while rolling her eyes, "Please forgive this peasant's transgression and go back to your peaceful slumber."

She turned to walk away when Leona called out to them. When she turned around the lion was on his feet, his face a mixture of annoyance and something else she couldn't make out in the dark.

"You never answered my question."

"I couldn't sleep." she sighed, "and there are flowers in here that only bloom at night."

She tried not to stare as Leona approached her. Bathed in the moonlight like this, she was reminded that the lazy lion she has a crush on was actually a prince. A part of her wanted to run away but her feet stayed rooted in place, all she could do was try not to make eye contact until he was stood right in front of her.

She didn't see the way his eyes drifted to her forearm nor the pained expression that clouded his face for a split second.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"No. It did the first few days but not anymore. It's like I never lost it really. These on the other hand..." Her hand reached up to touch one of the white patches on her skin.

"I mean they don't hurt but... they look kind of grisly don't they?" She said while letting out a dry chuckle.

A silence fell between the two of them. Neither one really knew what to do. Leona was the first to speak up,

"Ipomoea alba"

She looked up at him in confusion. Leona just kept going as he started to walk, leading her towards the subtropical zone.

"Agave amica, Zaluzianskya ovata, Gardenia jasminoides. You don't even know the names of the flowers you're going to see?" his tone was playful but not mocking.

He explained how most night-blooming flowers are white because they don't 'waste' resources to color their petals instead, their only goal is to reflect the light of the moon.

"Where are you going with this?" she asked.

They stopped in front of one of the blooming gardenia bushes. Leona let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair as he turned to face them again, "Do I have to spell it out for you? You're like those flowers. You didn't waste any of your resources and had one goal, to save that weasel. These marks—" his hand reached out, hovering just above her cheek, "—are just proof that you succeeded."

Every word he said was steeped in his unshakeable confidence. As if the patches on her cheeks couldn't possibly stand for anything else. Maybe it was that confidence that made her grab his hand and press it against her face.

"Thanks, Leona." she muttered, closing her eyes.

"Hey, look at me." He gently tapped a finger against her cheek, making her open her eyes again, "I want to kiss you. May I?"

He could feel her blush through his gloves. She gave him a shy nod but that wasn't enough to satisfy the lion prince,

"No. I need to hear you say it."

Of course he did. She was currently face to face with one of the princes of the Sunset Savannah and if she couldn't hold her ground, she would surely be devoured. So she swallowed her embarrassment and, for the first time that night, looked him straight in the eye,

"You may, Leona Kingscholar."

He smiled, "That's my girl."

Then he closed the gap between them. The kiss was filled with feelings that no longer needed to be spoken out loud. When they broke away Leona kept his forehead pressed against hers, one of his hands tangling itself in her hair.

"I love you." she said, her gaze once again filled with that spark that had the audacity to twist his arm into helping her with her plan lest she made a racket in front of his room for the rest of the year.

He couldn't help but laugh, a deep, warm laugh that echoed through the empty garden.

"Took you long enough." He said, pressing another kiss on to her cheek.

"Stay at Savanaclaw with me tonight?" he mumbled.

"I'd love to but I can't. Grim would freak out if I just disappeared like that."

"Damn weasel..." he growled, burying his head into the crook of her neck. "Fine."

But despite saying that, he didn't let go of her. Instead, he picked her up and took her back to his usual nap spot before getting comfortable on her chest.

"Leona, I said—"

"I heard what you said." He huffed, "You'll be back in Ramshackle before the sun rises, I promise. For now just, stay here with me. Okay?"

She sighed, using her left hand to stroke his ears while the other one rested on the small of his back, "Alright."

A/N

Surprise! You thought you were reading a normal fluffy fic but it is actually! Thinly veiled OC lore! Now you are forced to look at my yuusona!

Pre-book 6 (L) and post-book 6 (R)

Her name's Oyuki McGuffin. She's 18 y/o and would like a nap.

Current concern: Does a potion count as soup?

Ok that's all I wanted to say. Thank you have a nice day.

[dailynnt]

ONE NIGHT AS THE PRICE OF A REQUEST

⋆˙⟡ Summary: You hate your neighbor Jungkook, but you have to ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to get rid of your annoying boss. He agrees, but you don't even imagine what you'll have to pay him with. Everything goes according to plan until Jungkook reveals his true price during the dance: one night with him or your life in the neighborhood will be hell.

⋆˙⟡ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ The Reader, Jungkook/Y/N

⋆˙⟡ Age restrictions: 18+

⋆˙⟡ Index of chapters: ≣

⋆˙⟡ Number of chapter: 11/?

⋆˙⟡ Tags: enemies-to-neighbors-to-lover, fake relationship, hate to desire, dom!Jungkook, heated blackmail, one bed trope (later more than one bed), undeniable chemistry, forced deal, mutual obsession, dangerous game, unexpected feelings, passion on edge, impossible to resist, tension and desire, unprotected sex, sexual tension, slow burning

⋆˙⟡ From author: Chapter 11 is ready for you guys. I'm sorry I haven't written for so long, I hardly have a free minute lately. But I tried to spend every free minute writing 🥰 So, what do you think of the chapter on behalf of Jungkook? And what do you think of his thoughts? I did all my best for you, my dear, and I hope that this long wait is worth it ❤️‍🔥

⋆˙⟡ Dedication: to my biggest love @kelsyx33, @curse-of-art, @kooko009, @smokinghotstargirl, @myjungkookthighs, @mskookie, @minimoninini, @medstudentlifestyle for loving me for nothing. I love you girls twice as much 🥺🤭💜🫶🏻

⋆˙⟡ Tag list: @kelsyx33, @curse-of-art, @kooko009, @smokinghotstargirl, @myjungkookthighs, @mskookie, @minimoninini, @medstudentlifestyle, @bhonbhon, @ottergirl, @vantelover1306, @deepikhaprakash, @mar-lo-pap, @zeytiable, @lallataegi, @vintagemoonsstuff, @indigomoonchild09, @diame93, @bts-ruu, @asyr97, @taeloversblog, @songbyeonkim, @miniruuu, @hubbytaehyung, @queen1599, @goldenboysmuse (If you want to be on the tag list, let me know)

⋆˙⟡ Warning: English is not my native language, so please be lenient with mistakes in the text 🥹

Chapter 11. The love he doesn’t know and the desire he can’t control

For the first time since last night, Jungkook's hand rested on your waist, relaxed. No pressure, no usual lust. It was just there, as if to say: you're here. You're close. You are his. Now, and tomorrow, and, damn it, any time as long as your agreement is in effect. Your body was warm nearly his strong chest, and your head was almost resting on his shoulder.

Yesterday, you surrendered, and Jungkook beat every ounce of resistance you'd ever had out of you. For the first time, you didn't hide your eyes, didn't hiss back. For the first time, you accepted him.

Jungkook smiled to himself, looking at your relaxed face. You were sleeping, and he... he looked at you and felt like a winner. Finally. After all those days when you passed him by, giving him cold looks as if he were worthless. After all the harsh words you used to push him away. After every argument, every challenge from you, he waited. Patiently, confidently knowing that one day you would break down, open up, let him in. And now you are here. In bed with him, in his arms, with his breath on your skin.

He has never been denied. Never. Not even once. But you did it with such stubbornness that it made him crave it. It wasn't enough for Jungkook to just want you. It was when he saw you talking to Namjoon, when you smiled at him, that Jungkook wanted to possess you.

And now, lying next to you, he realized that you belonged to him. At least for this period, while your agreement lasts. The agreement is his favorite thing right now. Because it doesn't give you the right to leave, it doesn't give you the right to be with someone else, even if you want to run away for a second.

Jungkook took in a deep, slow breath, feeling his body stirring again just from your proximity. Your scent. Your warmth. Your skin. He remembers how you begged him yesterday, how you begged him on the yacht, a couple nights ago, and he's already getting hard.

Jungkook doesn't think about feelings. But he thought that there is something else going on between you. Something that burns somewhere between lust and the need to appropriate. Your resistance has made him want you even more. And now that you've destroyed the fucking rule that annoyed him so much when you didn't run away, he realizes he can have you whenever he wants.

His fingers find their way up your thigh. Gently. Slowly. As if checking to see if you're real. You stirred slightly in your sleep, slightly raised your eyelashes, yawned. But you didn't wake up completely. This excited him even more.

Jungkook leaned over, raising himself on his elbow, and touched his lips to your shoulder. Your skin was warm and tender. His arm went higher, enveloping you completely, pulling you closer.

You mumbled something as you turned sideways to him, inadvertently pressing yourself against his crotch. Jungkook felt his waking cock needing your entrance, or your mouth for that matter. You were provoking him even in his sleep. You made him greedy. Insatiable.

Jungkook's hand slipped under the covers, and his fingers immediately went under your tank top, which you hadn't taken off even when you had sex last night. Jungkook touched your breasts, very gently. Not like last night. Your nipple hardened in his fingers, and your body reacted without even waking up.

He smiled, his lips touching your neck, leaving soft, wet kisses. And then... his hand slid lower. Under the fabric of your shorts. And Jungkook felt the same thing he'd felt the night before. You were wet.

"Damn..." he whispered over your ear, "Even in your sleep, your pussy remembers me..."

His breathing became heavier. He couldn't stop himself from sliding down, both hands slowly lowering your shorts and underwear. Jungkook settled between your legs, spreading your thighs, gently, almost tenderly. He didn't want to wake you up... not yet. He wanted to savor you in complete silence, enjoying every second of your defenselessness, your submissiveness, which you never showed during the day.

His tongue slid along the inside of your thigh, leaving wet marks, and his hands held your hips to keep you still. He wanted to have you quietly. Slowly. Greedily, without rushing. His tongue finally reached your sensitive spot, savoring your state between sleep and wakefulness. Jungkook's tongue penetrated deeper into you, and after a few strokes, he returned to your clit, licking gently.

You woke up with a soft moan, your stomach shuddered, and your back arched. He felt it and just smiled. You reached out to him with your hand, but Jungkook didn't let you - he gently took your hand away and continued to hold on you the edge, long, painfully, until your breathing became rapid and your moans were audible.

You twitched, sighing softly, and then he licked you again. And again. His tongue was hellishly soft and confident at the same time. He didn't need words. He just ate you-slowly, intently, as if you were the sweetest dessert he'd ever had.

Jungkook's tongue continued to play with your clit, and he breathed deeply through his nose, inhaling your scent, which made him dizzy. Your hips shuddered a little, and your fingers involuntarily clutched the blanket. Only when he felt you fully awake did he slowly move away, blowing lightly on your heated center.

"You're awake now," his voice was low, husky, and full of lust. "I love the way your pussy is shaking for me." he returned to your pussy and eagerly fell to your clit sucking on it. You felt him bring you closer to that longed-for pleasure. As your orgasm swept through your body, he let go - slowly, with one last lick, so sensual that you shuddered once more. Your breathing was ragged, your eyes unfocused, and your heart was racing like crazy.

Jungkook towered over you, licking his lips of the rest of your juices. You could feel his hard cock.

"Good morning, kitten," he smiled. You smiled back. And he could see how happy you were.

"It's a really good morning," you mumbled, still breathing heavily. Jungkook pecked your lips and got off you. He sat down next to you and started to get dressed.

"Where are you going?" you asked him. Jungkook stood up.

"To the shower. I have a meeting today. Do you need to go downtown?"

You watched him put on his T-shirt and couldn't get enough of the sight of his well-toned body, which almost made you salivate.

"Yeah. I wanted to go with my grandmother to buy her some groceries and some things for the house." you said, climbing higher up to the headboard. Jungkook froze looking at you. Your sleepy, slightly disheveled appearance after he ate you made him smile. He thought he'd like to see you like this more often. You darted your eyes nervously.

"What?"

"Nothing." Jungkook shrugged and picked up his phone, checking for texts from Lee's manager and the man he was supposed to meet today. "If you want, I can give you a ride, and I'll pick you up when I'm done with my work?"

You got out of bed. Jungkook noticed your movement out of the corner of his eye. He put down his phone and turned to you when you stopped a step away.

His eyes met yours - familiar, too familiar. A look that meant only one thing: you wanted to talk. His shoulders tensed as he waited for you to speak. Fuck, are you really going to talk that 'we can't do this' shit again?

"So how do you see this deal now?" you asked, and he didn't hear the excitement in your voice. He was surprised. You were cold, confident, and it made him tense up more than if you had started protesting again.

Jungkook still didn't think about "what's next". He just needed to have you. Right now. Always. And your question took him by surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked, taking a step toward you. He stopped very close, towering over you. He wanted to touch you, but for some reason he held back.

"So now I play your girlfriend, and we fuck whenever we want?" you clarified. Jungkook hummed. It sounded harsh coming from you. But it was accurate. This was exactly how he had envisioned the next few months.

"Yes, kitten, something wrong?" he smiled, feeling his heart quicken from your attentive gaze.

"I'm just thinking," you put your finger to your lips, as if to deliberately draw his attention. "What if you fall in love with me? What then?"

Jungkook laughed softly, hoarsely and deeply. If he were "normal," maybe he would. But he didn't know how to love. Not in this way.

"Would it be a tragedy?" he said playfully.

"For me?" you raised an eyebrow, "You know it would be so sweet for me to break your heart," your smile flashed, your eyes sparkled slyly. And he couldn't resist. He pulled you sharply to him, making you hold your breath.

He held you tightly by the waist. His eyes were boring into your eyes, his body tense. You provoked him again. You made his blood boil.

"Sweet, you say?" Jungkook's voice dropped "Kitten, you have no idea how bitter it will be when I decide I don't want you anymore..."

You feigned indifference, but as always, your rapid heartbeat gave you away, which he could feel as if it were his own. He knew what he was doing to you, and he fucking loved it. You can't even imagine how much he enjoyed your struggle for dominance.

You didn't expect him to respond like that. You could tell by the way your eyebrows were drawn together. Jungkook leaned in, and your breath hitched as his lips slid over your cheek and then your ear. His breath caressed your velvety skin.

"But for now, I want to..." Jungkook's hand slipped under the robe you'd already put on, sliding up your thigh. "I'll take you as long as I want. And you know what, kitten?" he pulled back a little to look at you again, "I've already seen and I know you want it too. So let's just let it happen."

You took a gulp of air, and your lips opened slightly. Jungkook was about to kiss you.

"Jungkook..." your voice was barely audible, more like a plea than a protest.

"Mmm?" his fingers touched your heated center and he smiled, sensing how ready you were. "So soon? You just came and you're wet again? Do you think I should fuck you?"

You wanted to answer, but his lips closed on yours in a kiss, hard, as if he wanted to take all the air out of your lungs. Jungkook tilted you backwards, throwing you onto the bed, and before you knew it, you were gasping for air.

Jungkook thought he was going to stop after eating you, but you love to piss him off. He feels aroused and slightly irritated.

He wants you. All the time. And every action you take excites him. But at the same time, he's afraid of the way you affect him. You make him lose control - and he's not the type to like that. Jungkook likes to be in charge. He likes to be dominant. And with you, he's already woken up twice with desire for you before you've even looked at him. It scares him. He thinks he might lose control of himself, and it throws him off balance.

It's just sex. It's just a game.

You're not like the women he's been with. You are not weak. But how you obey to him when he is inside you. How sweetly you give up. And yet, your tongue is sharper than a blade. You don't give him full power. And it drives him crazy. And he likes it... more than he'd like to admit.

"Jungkook," you call out to him, moving your hips in front of him.

"Do you want to beg me like always?" he murmured, kissing your breasts.

"I want you to stop talking and get to the point," you complained. Jungkook stopped. He straightened up and pushed his hard cock into your pussy, knocking the air out of your lungs.

"That's the wrong answer, kitten," Jungkook smiled. He wanted to hear it again. Your begging was something he couldn't get enough of. He kissed you, biting your lower lip. Jungkook was in pain, his semen had already leaked onto his boxers.

"If you want me, say it, otherwise I'll leave you here, horny, and go away."

He demanded you confess.

"I want..." you said, breathing fast, "I want you Kook," his cock twitched with pleasure. From your soft sighing voice, from your words, from your movements.

Jungkook let go of you, got off the bed and stood in front of you. You were confused, losing his closeness.

"Take off your clothes," Jungkook ordered. You slowly sat up, keeping your eyes on him. Your palms touched the silk fabric of the robe and pulled it off. You took off your tank top, and when your hands touched your panties, you froze.

"You're not taking your clothes off?" you asked quietly, without raising her voice. You still remembered that your grandmother could be hearing you.

"You'll do it after you stretch yourself," Jungkook answered. He wanted to see how much you wanted him and how ready you were to listen to everything he said. You got to your feet, forcing Jungkook to back away half a step. His eyes fell greedily on your breasts and erect nipples.

"So maybe I should put you on the bed, sit on your cock, and fuck myself without your participation?" you asked, taking off your panties.

Jungkook smiled again, but not so playfully, but darker, with a dangerous spark in his eyes that meant one thing: you had pissed him off. And now he would take revenge... sweetly, slowly, deeply.

"Do you really want to fuck yourself with my cock?" his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. You walked over to him, completely naked, and caught the edge of the T-shirt he had put on a moment ago. You lifted it up and pulled off over his head. Your fingers grabbed the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down. You could clearly see how excited he was. You looked at your hands, and he just couldn't take his eyes off your face. How sexy you are... how fucking sexy you are when you show your character.

Soon, Jungkook was standing there as naked as you. You took his cock in your hand and rolled it around, making Jungkook moan.

"You throw orders around, but who's to say I'll do it your way?" you looked up at him, smiling mysteriously. And with these words, it was as if you had knocked the ground out from under his feet. He couldn't lose control of the situation so easily.

Jungkook grabbed your wrist and pushed you back onto the bed. You fell gently, bending your knees, and he knelt down in front of you. His gaze crawled over your body: hungry, all-consuming.

"Oh, everything will be my way, don't even doubt it, now, open your legs. Wider." Jungkook's voice became unbearably hoarse. You did as he said. And the very next moment, he brought his finger to his lips, moistened it, and touched your pulsating center.

"There you go. Kitten, this time you prepare yourself for me," he took your palm in his and brought it to your pussy. You were breathing fast and raggedly, pulling your finger in slowly, your eyes never leaving his.

"Deeper, kitten. I know you can do it." His palm was on top of yours, and he helped you push your own fingers deeper into you. You obeyed, his husky laugh echoing near your ear as he leaned down into you.

"You're so beautiful when you're obedient. But you're even more beautiful when you're lascivious..." he bites into your neck, his tongue tracing fire trails across your skin. "I'm going to come if I still watching how you stretch yourself ..."

"Let’s, Kook, I need you, not my fingers."

And he did.

In one swift movement, he pinned you to the bed, his body covered yours, and the next moment you felt the head of his cock pressing against your entrance. You thought he was going to do it slowly, as he always did, but the movement was sudden. Jungkook entered you - deeply, completely, without any warning. You screamed, your lips slightly pursed, but not in pain - in pleasure.

"God..."

"Tell me did more," he growled, not giving you time to adjust to his size, he began to move inside you with a stiff slowness, as if punishing. "Say my name. Ask for more."

"Jungkook... more... more... please..."

You couldn't catch your breath, your voice was breaking, and he was coming inside you again and again.

"That's it, baby. You're finally saying the right thing."

His next thrust made your body arc as he moved hard, powerful, deep, his every move as if to erase your awareness of reality. His moan became low and muffled, biting into your shoulder. Jungkook's hand slid between you, finding your throbbing center and ruthlessly began to stimulate you.

"Do you hear your pussy begging for me? It's so wet... all for me..."

You moaned, losing control, and clenched your legs around his waist, forcing him even deeper.

"Jungkook... I can't…" you whispered, digging your fingers into his back, pulling him even closer. And at the same moment, he abruptly changed the angle, and you barely had time to bite your lip to keep from screaming.

"Yes... here?" he smiled, cunning, brazen, absolutely ruthless in his passion. "Now every time I want to make you scream, I'll remember this place..."

His movements became faster, uncontrollable, and your moans could expose what you two was really doing in your room.

"A little, kitten, just a little bit more..." his forehead was touching yours, your breaths merged, and so did your bodies.

"Kook... I'm going to..." you wanted to warn him of your impending orgasm.

"Come...give me everything..." he whispered through clenched teeth, holding back with the last of his strength. A few more deep, sharp thrusts and your body arched in orgasm, wave after wave rolling over you, washing away the world around you, leaving only him.

Jungkook felt your inner walls squeeze around his cock, and it was almost impossible to hold back. He exhaled, hard, hot, and quickly slipped out of you, he freed himself from your legs that held him as if trapped. He sat on top of you, placing his legs on the sides of your chest. Jungkook grabbed your chin, lifting your face up. You looked up at him with a blurred gaze, obviously still under the influence of orgasm.

"Open your mouth, kitten..." his voice sounded low and breathy.

You obediently opened your lips, and the very next moment he wrapped his hand around cock, running it several times along its length, trapping your gaze. Your eyes are blurry with pleasure, your lips are glistening, your tongue is sticking out a little.

That was enough.

"Here you go..." moaned Jungkook as warm, thick cum splashed on your tongue, some on your lips and some deep down your throat as you instinctively swallowed.

You greedily took it all in, not taking your eyes off him as he completed his last strokes with a trembling body. His breathing was ragged, his chest heaved, and his hands trembled slightly.

You licked the cum from your lips, gently, seductively. He looked at you with incredible lust and some kind of wild pride.

Jungkook slowly got off you and sat down next to you, breathing deeply.

"Fuck..." he breathed out, running his fingers through his hair, still unable to recover. His eyes slid over you, watching you lick your lips slowly, your mouth closing.

"You're so insatiable..." he accused you, smiling tiredly. You pushed yourself up on your elbows, still breathing a little heavily, a shadow of a smile on your lips. Jungkook ran a finger along your jaw, gently lifted your chin, and leaned down to kiss you briefly, lightly, tasting his own pleasure on your lips.

"Who's the insatiable one?" you asked rhetorically. Jungkook smiled, because he was the one who hadn't had enough. "I thought you were going to a meeting," you reminded him. Jungkook stood up and pulled on his boxers, then his pants.

"We have twenty minutes to get ready. Will you warn Halmoni?" Jungkook asked. You covered your naked body with a blanket and stretched lightly.

"Yeah, but give me 5 minutes, I need to find the strength to get out of bed," you mumbled, closing your eyes.

The sun was pouring light into the narrow streets of the old district of Busan, where a small market stretched in the center, between houses, surrounded by shops, flowers, and the aroma of spices. You walked next to your grandmother, who stopped at every stall, picking through the vegetables, looking at the prices, and talking to the vendors as if she had known them all her life.

Jungkook walked a little behind, calm, wearing a light shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his sunglasses slipping down his nose. He looked attractive and expensive, so almost every vendor paid attention to you, some whispered, but Jungkook didn't pay attention.

He was checking his phone. Kwon Munho, the man with whom the meeting was scheduled, had warned him that he would be late. That's why Jungkook is now walking next to you and Grandma. In another situation, Jungkook would probably be angry that the meeting was postponed, but now he had the opportunity to stay with you and Grandma where he was supposed to play the role of your boyfriend.

Yesterday, he liked the way his grandmother reacted to him - sincerely, with gentle directness that older people only allow themselves to have with those they really like. She told directly that she liked him, and Jungkook took it almost too seriously. He didn't understand why, but he felt that it was important for him to impress your grandmother. Perhaps it was part of the game he was playing with you so subtly - an attempt to win over not only you, but your family as well.

Jungkook locked his phone and straightened up next to you. His hand rested casually on your waist, and a few minutes later, it slid lower, making you glance in his direction in embarrassment. You tried to stay confident, even though your body was giving you away more than your words.

Grandma, though she looked busy shopping, didn't miss a single glance Jungkook gave her granddaughter. She didn't ask too many questions - she was just happy to have him with her.

When you stopped at a bakery, Jungkook's phone vibrated. He took it out and saw that Kwon was already on his way to the appointed meeting place.

Jungkook reached into his pants pocket and pulled out some money. Without hesitation, he put it in your palm. It was 50 thousand won bills. Your eyes rounded when you realized that he had given you 250 thousand won. You looked at him in surprise, and he didn't seem to notice your gaze, but for a moment his eyes flashed with curiosity. He met your confused gaze and smiled, as if this was a normal thing between you.

"Buy whatever you want, my love," he leaned down to your face and whispered softly, "will you buy us condoms that I can cum inside you?"

You instantly blushed and if it weren't for Grandma, you would have lost your temper. You hit him lightly.

"Are you crazy?" you hissed. Jungkook dramatically put his palm to the place where you hit him and rubbed it lightly. He straightened up.

"I have to go, I'll pick you and your grandmother up in an hour. Have a good time." Jungkook kissed you lightly on the temple, a gesture that made your grandmother smile, but you remained indifferent in appearance. In the end, he lightly touched your fingers. Jungkook unconsciously wanted to keep your touch. He politely promised his grandmother that he would be back as soon as he could and walked to his car, which was parked at the entrance to the market.

His Mercedes drove in the opposite direction of the walking route, getting lost among the narrow streets of Busan.

The Blue Bean coffee shop, located in the Sapodong district, was the place Mr. Kwon had chosen for their meeting. Away from eyes that could follow.

Jungkook easily parked the car outside the coffee shop and went inside.

There was nothing special inside: an old sign, slightly worn furniture, and the faint aroma of cinnamon and freshly ground Arabica. A perfect, unremarkable place.

The heir to the ‘John Group’ looked around, searching with his eyes for the man who had the information he needed.

The man was already sitting. A narrow face, blue shirt, perfect hairstyle. His tablet was not far away, as if he had just held it in his hands. His cup of black coffee was half empty and he was holding it, looking out the window.

Jungkook approached, greeted him discreetly, bowing. The man noticed Jungkook and jumped up and held out his hand, bowing lower, too.

"Have you been waiting long?" He asked, taking off his glasses and sitting down across from him. A waiter immediately came to the table. Jungkook ordered an ice-cold Americano to refresh himself and take the next dose of caffeine his body needed.

"Not so long, just 10 minutes, maybe less," Mr. Kwon replied. Jungkook nodded his head, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"So, how's it going, Kwon-nim, did you find out anything?" Jungkook cut to the chase.

"Oh, yes, Jungkook-sajanim. You asked me to check the ownership structure of the companies that have been actively buying up small stakes in ‘Jeon Group’ in recent months, especially those that have been actively buying up small stakes in this week," the man began, picking up his tablet, "and... I found something interesting."

"Go ahead." Jungkook had an inkling of what Mr. Kwon might have found, but he needed to hear confirmation.

"The companies all look independent. But they all have financial ties to ‘Taemin Holdings’, based here in Busan," Kwon explained. At this time, coffee was brought to the table, and Jungkook began to drink it with a little thirst.

"Who's the ultimate owner?" he asked, tasting the coffee and milk on his tongue.

"Technically, it's offshore. But I dug deeper. The chairman of the board is Park Dongsu, the former CFO of ‘Kang Technology’. He resigned after Mr. Kang's direct visit to Busan six months ago."

Jungkook smiled slightly. It was expected.

"How much has been bought up?"

"11,3%. Through nine different companies. But if we don't stop it, it will be up to 20% by the end of the year."

Jungkook leaned back and looked around the coffee shop. Silence hung between them. Jungkook's phone vibrated. It was a call from his mother. He pressed the block button to keep the vibration from disturbing him.

"That's how Kang Tehwon decided to act," Jungkook said, more to himself than to the other man, "He wants unification. But on equal terms."

"Yeah, it looks like it," Kwon replied cautiously. He cleared his throat nervously and continued, "Forgive me for being rude, Jungkook-sajinim, but is it related to the fact that your engagement to Kang Sukhi was not announced because of, well..." he stopped talking before he could say more. Jungkook smiled as he touched his lips to the cup. The flavor of the coffee blossomed on his tongue and made Jungkook feel better.

"The refusal to get engaged with his daughter wasn’t the root cause. But the active stock purchases over the past week may include it," Jungkook said. "Kang Tehwon started doing this before he and my father decided to merge the companies."

Kwon Munho took a sip as he watched Jungkook carefully.

"Does Mr. Jeon know that you're researching this?"

Jungkook looked up at the man who worked in the accounting department of the Busan branch of the ‘Jeon Group’.

"No, my father doesn't know. That's why I asked for the meeting to be confidential." Jungkook leaned on the table, staring intently into Kwon's face, "I have to gather all the evidence first and then give it to my father. Please keep our meeting a secret. I promise I won't be in your debt."

Kwon tilted his head, approving of Jungkook's seriousness. He was a man who understood well how big money and powerful families worked. He had also been raised in a business environment, so he respected people like Jungkook for their strategic thinking and ability to work in the shadows. But he still couldn't help but be surprised by the determination of the heir to ‘Jeon Group’.

"Of course, Jungkook-sajanim. I understand the importance of confidentiality. And I don't plan to violate your agreement with your father." Kwon replied calmly and handing over a small gray flash drive out of his breast pocket and handed it to Jungkook. "Here is a flash drive with all the data: transfers, sales, and names." He putting the tablet aside. His gaze became more focused.

Jungkook took the flash drive and put it in his pants pocket.

"Good." he leaned back, running his fingers through his hair. "One more question. Are any of the buyers directly related to anyone on the ‘Jeon Group’ board of directors?"

Kwon tapped a few times on his tablet, scrolling through the lists. Then he stopped and looked at Jungkook again.

"I suspect that the chairman of the finance committee, Mr. Min Sang-ho, has connections through a third party intermediary company. On paper, it looks clean, but the money transfers are strange - through the same channels as ‘Taemin Holdings’."

Jungkook looked down, inhaling slowly as if he was holding back anger.

"He voted to change the dividend policy last month... That explains a lot..."

Kwon leaned a little closer.

"Are you going to confront them openly?"

"Not yet. But when the time comes, I'll be ready," Jungkook replied coldly, calmly, with the kind of depth in his voice we’re only comes from those who are used to winning. "I told my father that Kang Tehwon is not a reliable partner, so I have to gather evidence that he doesn't just want the merger... he wants an equal share of the ownership of the company, and perhaps he wants more."

Kwon nodded slowly as he finished his coffee. Jungkook did not linger. After hearing what Kwon had to say, he stood up, leaving the coffee money on the table.

"Thank you, Kwon-nim. Contact me if you will know anything else. And also..." he held his gaze, "Don't trust anyone at the central office. Even if you think they're on our side."

"Understood, sajanim."

Jungkook bowed and walked toward the exit, leaving a scent of perfume in the air behind him - subtle, deep, like his aura.

Around six in the evening, a black Mercedes-Benz pulled up quietly outside a familiar high-rise building in Seoul. The sun was still hanging over the horizon, casting a soft golden light on the windows of the buildings. The sky was clear, with a hint of evening chill, the peachy blue hues were just beginning to appear on the horizon, reminding that the day was coming to an end.

Jungkook turned off another business call without looking at the screen and turned to you. You looked a little tired after the trip, with the same slight tension in your shoulders that he had learned to notice.

"Thank you..." you said first, "I really appreciate your help."

Your gaze slipped to the side, and Jungkook noticed how you were trying to avoid eye contact. He wanted to kiss you. Is it normal for him to want to do that? And can he do it whenever he wants?

He reached for you. You didn't move away when his hand slid down your jaw and he stopped a centimeter from your lips. Jungkook wanted to make sure you were okay with it. And when you closed your eyes, expecting a kiss, he smiled and finally touched your lips.

They were soft, slightly dry. Jungkook moved his lips, tasting each of your pads in turn. His fingers slipped into your hair, pulling you closer, and you barely gave in. He stuck his tongue in your mouth, and that light, gentle kiss easily became greedy, deep, demanding. You grabbed Jungkook's hand, squeezing it. He felt his cock throbbing. You make him so easily aroused.

Jungkook could feel your fingers trembling slightly on his arm. And though he wanted to do more - to immerse himself in your taste, in your touch, in your soft, pliable body - he broke the kiss with an effort.

"You've already thanked me more than once," he winked, sitting up straight and stretching his lips into a satisfied smile. Jungkook glanced at his phone, which was silently glowing with several missed calls from "mom" contact and a message: "Talk to me, now." He sighed and ignored the screen again. His mother could wait. But business could not.

"Are you going to the office?" you asked, distracting him from the heavy thoughts that immediately flooded his mind after he tore his lips from yours.

"I have another online meeting and a few things to do at the office. What, did you want me to stay?" Jungkook asked playfully as he leaned into you.

You raised your eyebrows and grabbed your backpack as if to hide behind it.

"No, you've already gotten your daily allowance of pleasure, so calm down, Jeon Jungkook," you said sarcastically.

"My daily allowance is much bigger than that, kitten, and if it weren't for the office, I'd love to get it in full," he smiled slyly and you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"You're a maniac..." you said quietly. And then you quickly opened the car door, running away from Jungkook.

"See you later?" he shouted at your back, leaning over the seat where you had been a moment before. You froze in a half-turn.

"Not tonight, I have to survive to play the role of your girlfriend," you replied ironically and walked away without waiting for him to answer.

Jungkook watched your figure slowly disappear into the entrance. Something stirred in his chest, pleasant and exciting. He shook his head, smiling, and gripped the steering wheel. The engine roared to life, and the Mercedes moved off. Jungkook pressed a button and the window closed, cutting him off from the warm evening air.

The dark glass of the door of the ‘Jeon Group’ office building reflected the glare of the headlights of the car that pulled into the underground parking lot. Jungkook, a little tired but focused, got out of the car, clutching his phone and carkeys from the car.

Manager Lee was already waiting for him - strict but always calm, with a quiet, measured voice that rarely went to any emotional extreme. The only person Jungkook truly trusted. Not just as a professional, but as a person who knew him too well - and even better than he knew himself.

"How was your trip?" Lee asked with a barely-there smile as they walked down the hallway to the office.

"Very productive," Jungkook replied briefly, but there was a hidden satisfaction in his voice. It wasn't just the conversation about Kang Tehwon, but also the time he spent with you. Manager Lee knew where Jungkook had gone and with whom.

"You look... happy." Lee glanced sideways. "I assume that Y/N-shi also contributed to the efficiency of the trip?"

Jungkook smiled at the very corners of his lips.

"Not without it." He opened the office door after greeting his secretary and stepped inside. "What's the schedule?"

"You only have one online meeting left for today. Also..." Manager Lee pulled out his phone, "I've had several calls from your mother..."

Jungkook stopped near his chair, frowning slightly.

"And?" he remembered how she had terrorized his phone all day, and he had ignored her.

"I told her you were in a meeting. She doesn't know you went to Busan."

"Good." Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief as he nodded. But not for long. "So what did she want?"

"Asked me to get free your evening. She wants to have dinner with you... and Sukhi."

Jungkook sat down at the table and leaned back in his leather chair. His head hurt just thinking about the dinner. Talk of an engagement he didn't want, was tired him.

"Why won't they leave me alone?" he grumbled, closing his eyes.

Manager Lee did not answer. He just stood there in silence, as he always did, knowing when to give Jungkook space.

The silence lasted for a few more seconds until Jungkook grabbed the phone, unlocked the screen, and tapped your name. He had an idea.

"Hello," Jungkook heard your voice on the other end of the line.

"Is the kitten busy?" he asked you, looking at Manager Lee, who stood perfectly still, not a muscle in his face moving.

"I'm taking a bath, what do you want?" Jungkook swayed in his chair, turning away from the manager.

"Oh... if I can video call you?" he asked, lowering his voice. You clicked your tongue.

"Jungkook, say what you want or I'm hanging up," you warned. Jungkook heard the water splashing. He imagined it enveloping your beautiful body and your skin shining.

"You shouldn't have said no, but I'm calling for a reason. Kitten, take a bath, put on something nice. In 15 minutes my manager will come to pick you up, I need you in the office."

"You mean in the office? Why?" you were surprised.

"I'll explain when you get here."

"We just got here, Jungkook, I'm tired after the trip, can I come tomorrow?" you asked protesting.

"No kitten, you must to be here in exactly half an hour." Jungkook said firmly. He heard you exhale a doomed breath.

"What should I wear?" you asked. A smile touched his lips again. His fingers slid gently along the edge of the table as he turned to face the table. His gaze rested for a moment on his own reflection in the black screen.

"Dress like we're going on a date," Jungkook replied.

"I usually wear a T-shirt and jeans, is that okay?" you asked wryly.

"If you feel comfortable wearing those clothes in an expensive restaurant, then of course you can dress like that, kitten," Jungkook replied shortly. There was a subtle irony in his voice. You exhaled nervously into the phone again.

"Okay, I'll be ready in 15 minutes."

"I'm waiting for you," he said. You disconnected first. "Manager Lee, please bring Y/N here. And call my mother and tell her that I have to be at the office in 30 minutes and that you're cleared my schedule." Manager Lee bowed silently with his hands folded behind his back.

"So, Jungkook-nim, is your mother planning to meet your ‘girlfriend’?" he asked and Jungkook noticed a hint of amusement in his voice.

Jungkook just hummed, not answering right away. His fingers found the edge of the table again, sliding along it as if looking for support. Then he looked up at Lee and smiled wryly.

"With any luck... it'll just be a way to avoid dinner with her and Sukhi."

"Understood," he didn't ask any more questions, he was used to trusting Jungkook's decision without question, "I'll bring her in in 30 minutes," the manager bowed slightly and walked out, leaving Jungkook in the silence of the office.

Half an hour later, the office door was barely open. Manager Lee walked in first.

"Jungkook-nim Y/N, here."

Jungkook looked up from his tablet, and his fingers hovered over the screen.

You were standing in the aisle. You were wearing a short cream dress made of textured fabric that looked both elegant and sexy. The dress was tightly fitted around your waist, emphasizing your figure, and fell in light waves to your hips. The front row of mother-of-pearl buttons added sophistication.

On top of it you wore a short jacket of the same material with sharp lapels, which gave the image of severity, Small flap pockets emphasized the lines of the hips, creating an even more elegant silhouette. You wore white sandals on feet.

You completed the look with thin gold chains around your neck, which sparkled delicately as you turned your head to look around the office as you walked inside. Your makeup was neutral, barely shimmering.

Jungkook was mesmerized by your appearance. You were beautiful, too beautiful for him to just sit at his desk. He stood up and stopped a step away from you. You didn't look pleased, and he could clearly see the irritation on your face. Jungkook wanted to erase that expression with a kiss.

"Manager Lee, thank you for bringing me the Y/N. You can go now," Jungkook said, keeping his eyes on you.

Manager Lee gave you a curious look, bowed, and walked out.

"You asked me to look like we're going on a date," you said as you stepped aside, your posture a little tense. "Do I look appropriate?" you returned as you approached his desk. Without waiting for him to answer, you began to look around his office, touching the things on his desk,

Jungkook was silent. He couldn't answer right away. He looked at you and realized that not a single woman had ever looked as attractive in his eyes as you. His eyes greedily traced your figure, and he almost forgot how to breathe.

Jungkook slowly approached you, stopping a behind you. His voice was a little hoarse when he finally spoke.

"You look... dangerously appropriate." His arms went around your waist and he pressed against you, inhaling the scent of your perfume. It was sweet, reminding him of apricot. He touched your skin with his nose and inhaled deeply.

"Jungkook," you said quietly, nervous grabbing his hands, stopping him. "What are you doing? What if someone comes in..."

Jungkook kissed your earlobe, biting it lightly.

"That's my plan..." he mumbled, holding you tighter.

"What do you mean?" you asked, turning your head to him. Jungkook's lips were very close. His eyes looked at your plump pink lips, which he wanted to kiss.

"My mother should be here soon with Sukhi, they wanted to pick me up to have dinner... But I'm busy, I'm going out with my girlfriend,"

Your eyes rounded.

"You're doing it again, Jeon?" you exploded, taking a half-step away from him. Jungkook let you step back. "Why didn't you just say your mother will be here?" you crossed your arms over your chest, throwing lightning bolts at him. "I should have known! I would have at least prepared myself mentally!"

He looked at you calmly, but something flashed in his eyes-something hungry and determined.

"I knew you would react like this," Jungkook whispered, taking a step forward.

"You know and you're always deliberately doing this to spite me." you claimed colorlessly.

Jungkook did not answer. He just came closer, grabbed you by the waist, and pushed you against the table with one decisive movement. Before you could even say anything else, he lifted you up and sat you on the edge, standing between your legs. His hands held your hips tightly, and his eyes, dark and full of desire, never let go of your gaze.

"You don't have to worry, kitten. I'm just going to show you to my mother. It won't take more than a minute. And then we'll go..."

"I don't..." you tried to say something, but he wouldn't let you. His lips covered yours in a passionate kiss that you hadn't expected, but he had wanted from the moment you entered the office.

You wanted to push him away, wanted to run away, but his arms wouldn't let go. He liked to catch you. Every time you tried to run away, he caught you. It gave him a sickly, sweet pleasure.

Jungkook kissed you, deeper, harder. His fingers slid up your thighs, and your back arched involuntarily - and he couldn't help but think how pliable you were when his lips were on yours.

At that moment, the office door suddenly opened.

"Jungkook-ah, son..." a familiar, cold female voice said.

Jungkook reluctantly pulled away, but it was too late.

Standing at the door to the office were his mother - elegant, reserved, with perfect posture - and Sukhi, who looked like she had just swallowed a lemon. Both were looking at you in silence. At you sitting on the desk and at Jungkook still standing between your legs.

⇠ Previous ⟡ Index ➩ ⟡ Next ⇢

[alohajix]

Marked by Midnight

Main Masterlist

Marked by Midnight’s Masterlist

Summary: In the fog-drenched town of Willowridge, [Y/N] has always felt the pull of the supernatural. She doesn't know why-only that it thrums beneath her skin, whispers in her blood, and haunts her dreams. She's spent her life searching for answers, for meaning in the symbols and shadows that call to her... and then she meets him.

Harry Styles is the last living heir of a bloodline the world believes to be extinct. A hybrid born of vampire and wolf, he's lived in silence, hidden behind the iron gates of Styles Estate, a crumbling estate thick with history, power, and curse. He doesn't take mates. He doesn't fall in love. Not anymore.

But fate doesn't care for rules.

When she stumbles into his world, a bond awakens between them-raw, ancient, irreversible. What begins as curiosity spirals into obsession. And as secrets unravel and darkness rises, one truth becomes terrifyingly clear: she was his long before they ever met.

And now... she may never leave.

Warnings: tension, obsession, biting, blood play, smut, strong language, supernatural themes (full warnings listed per chapter).

Words: TBD

author note: I'm just dropping this without warning. If someone starts asking questions, you guys haven’t heard from me, okay?? I'm sorry it was awful 😂 but since the first chapter is out in a week, I wanted to treat you with a little something since you guys are the best supporters out here. Thank you for reading me everyday, it means so much to me. Please enjoy this little gift from me to you, I love you 🫶🏻

***

Prologue — Marked by Midnight

Harry’s POV

I felt her the night she was born.

Not in any way that made sense—not in the sound of her cry or the weight of her breath—but in the shift that settled beneath my skin, a subtle crack in the air, like the world had tilted ever so slightly and left me standing at its edge, aware of something I could not see, but could no longer ignore. It was faint, quiet, the barest flicker at the base of my spine, as if a thread had been pulled taut between us, invisible and ancient, humming low with a truth I didn’t want to face.

The bond.

I knew it for what it was the moment it stirred.

It wasn’t the first time. It wouldn’t be the last.

But this one—hers—felt different.

It wasn’t a blaze, not then. Just a mark, soft and persistent, pressing into a part of me I had long since tried to numb, and I told myself it meant nothing. That I could walk past it. That I didn’t have to feel it grow.

I didn’t want it.

Not because I feared it wasn’t real, but because I knew—deeply, irrevocably—that it was.

I have lived long enough to know that bonds are not gifts, not promises, not salvation. They are chains, silent at first, but pulling tighter with every breath until you can no longer tell where you end and where fate begins. I’ve seen it before—the way it devours—and I wanted no part of it.

Not again.

Not with her.

So I let the years pass, keeping it buried beneath centuries of practiced silence. And still, I felt her—softly, distantly, like a shadow at the edge of thought, like a name I’d never spoken but had always known. Her dreams brushed mine when I wasn’t careful. Her fears echoed through me when the nights grew too quiet. I learned to push it away, to lock the bond down so tightly that I almost convinced myself it would fade, that she would live her life untouched by me, that whatever force had tied us would one day lose its hold.

But the bond never fades.

It waits.

And now, it has woken.

Stronger. Closer. Demanding in a way it never was before.

The mark has surfaced again, this time in her hands, her skin, her blood, and I know what that means. She’s no longer distant, no longer the girl in the dark corners of my mind. She’s here—or she will be soon—and the bond that has whispered for years now roars.

It doesn’t matter that I stayed away, that I tried to keep her free from this. None of it matters now. The bond has claimed her, as it has claimed me, and I can feel her moving closer with every breath. I can feel the weight of what’s coming, and the truth I have run from longer than I care to admit: I was never meant to resist her.

And I won’t.

I can’t.

Because bonds like this don’t break. They only tighten, pulling everything into their center until there’s nothing left untouched. Nothing left unburned.

I’ve kept her safe by pretending I wasn’t already hers.

But now, the time for distance is over.

She’s coming, whether I’m ready or not.

And I don’t know if I will save her—or if I will be the one to break her.

***

@cloudyluun @gem1712 @dipmeinhoneyh @idk1990 @harrrrystylesslut @sparxx27 @likea-silhouette @fangirl509east @starryhaze-crystal @mads3502 @run-for-the-hills @twinklaei @belgianblondee@pbandnutella @maudie-duan @cat-loves-music @harrystyleshotwife @angeldavis777 @matildasatellite

[heesmiles]

One of my top favorite tropes fr...I'm excited for this one (: I've got my asmr going I'm ready.

You did not envision Sunday morning sitting across from your brother, concealing the bottom half of your body with your comforter and Jake next to you in bed. Jay’s face is a jumble of shock and anger, fists balled at his sides. You’re unsure if he’s ready to kick his best friend’s ass or throw him out by his neck, or both. - OOOO were going right in ok ok I'm ready. Angry Jay is fine shyt fr

It was nice to see Jay succeeding though, his footsteps being ones you’d hope to follow in one day. He had it all figured out, while you were anything but decided. Still unsure about what to do now that you had graduated, you chose to stay home and attend community college in the meantime. - stop this is so cute...I personally do not have an older brother but if I did I would imagine our relationship is something like this. I love this, super cute how she looks up to him.

But Jay occasionally being back in your presence meant he had to fulfill his annoying brotherly roles, like boring you with tales of campus and admonishing you for risqué outfit choices. - another example of slice of life cuteness. I live for the normality of sibling relationships, I like how this is portrayed honestly.

You scoffed and pushed him out of your way. The dress hugged your curves just right and the color fit your aestethic. You knew when you bought it that the length wasn’t ideal for everyday wear, but it was perfect for a night out. Jay wouldn’t tell you otherwise. “You don’t have to act like Dad, dude.” “Listen,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We all know you’re a woman. You don’t need to prove it with a little black dress.” - HELP. TYPICAL OLDER BROTHER CORE.

“Unless you’re blind, this dress is blue,” you mocked him. - clocked him.

her to jay deadass

“You look pretty,” Jake said finally. He popped a chip in his mouth. - you know what...I'm just a girl and this- this right here would make me fold like a motherfucking lawn chair...yes lord..

“Did you just say she looks pretty?” Jay asked in his best friend’s direction. Jake chomped down on another chip. “What,” he said, his mouth full. “If I heard that right, you just said my sister looks pretty in her dress.” “Yes?” Jake’s expression morphed into confusion as your brother’s face went pale. “Do you have a death wish?” Jay asked. - HELP JAKE IS SO CLUELESS AND JAY IS SO PROTECTIVE ROOF ROOOF ROOOOF

“Bro, I’m not gonna fuck—” Jake ran his free hand through his hair, smiling in incredulity at the ridiculous conversation. “Just trust me.” - subtle foreshadowing

As you closed the door, you heard Jake say, “But if she fucks me, that’s a different story.” Despite walking down the cobblestone pathway, you heard Jake’s cries from your older brother whacking him. Jay screamed, “You sick fuck!” - LMAOOO HELP ME

“Well, first things first, let’s take these off.” Before you knew it, Jake leaned down and began unbuckling the clasps of your stilettos for you. The sight made the alcoholic buzz running through your veins mutate into something sensual. You felt the ache between your legs as Jake’s fingers caressed the skin of your ankle as he was taking off your shoes for you, and immediately you remembered who he was. - it's hot in here...someone turn the ac on...is anyone else hot...

Then you were kissing him. You were kissing your brother’s best friend and enjoying it very much, an amalgamation of all the passing glances you threw at him when Jay wasn’t looking and the semi-flirty conversations coming to a head in your lips and tongue. - YESS LAWD JUMP RIGHT INTO IT WHY DON'T WE

“I’m not sorry for what happened that night. I liked it and I liked you.” He looked directly into your eyes, his pupils dilating with extreme vulnerability. “I like you. And I’d like to repeat that night as many times as you want, but you’re my best friend’s sister and I don’t know how to accept those two things being true at once.” - I need him in anyway I can get him good god

And Jay didn’t have to know everything. - this is never a good idea but I'm so down for it

Jake smirked and leaned in closer to you, lips ghosting over yours. “So if I said I wanted to fuck you in my car, you’d let me?” - LORD I'M NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLIDER PLS

You shook your head vigorously. “If you stop right now, Jaeyun, I might just have to kill you.” - she's so real for this

He nipped your lips again. “Climb in the back seat, baby.” - don't have to tell me twice tf

This led to where you were with Jake for the past six months - SIX MONTHS?????? SHEEESSSH I'm sorry I could never sneak around that long...I would def crack under pressure

“I got you a date with Dahyun’s cousin Jihyo tonight. Dahyun’s been dying to go out to this new restaurant downtown, and I know you’ve been lacking in the pussy department lately.” You felt the saliva in the back of your mouth hit the wrong pipe, and you coughed. - NAHHHHHH

“Sunghoon?” You spoke, relieved he picked up. “I need a huge favor.” - if she's doing what I think she's doing...she's a bad bitch and I love her.

“So that’s the guy,” Sunghoon stated, staring at Jake next to your brother. “He’s cute. I see why you’re in love with him.” - SEE HE GETS ME HE GETS ME

“You have my location, dipshit,” Jay said with a stone face. - LMAOOOO

Jake clenched his jaw even tighter. You thought he would break the bottom half of his face if he kept it up. To your surprise, he grabbed Sunghoon’s hand like a pure gentleman. Jay did the same. - JEALOUS JAKE JEALOUS JAKE JEALOUS JAKE

The last piece of advice Sunghoon left you with as he drove off was to “be honest” with Jake, if that was any bit as simple as it sounded coming out of his mouth. - wise man. you should listen to him.

“I don’t want you going on dates with anyone else.” You beginning with that wasn’t perfect, but you were out of ideas. He nodded. “Okay.” - HE WAS SO QUICK TO SAY OKAY. I'm crying I need him so bad

Jake caught your mouth in a perfect kiss, effectively shutting you up. A tear passed between your lips, but he was all you tasted. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes bright and expression full of mirth. “You’re a beautiful idiot, but still an idiot for not realizing I feel the same..” - a beautiful idiot I'm sobbing on the floor rn

But it didn’t matter how loud you were being or how sweaty your skin became. All you could focus on was the words that came out of Jake’s mouth. “God, I love you so much.” - STOPNKDSJNVKJBFF STOPKJDNSFF

“Dude, you’ve seen me shirtless,” Jake remarks, rolling his eyes.  “True, but it’s not much of a show, bro.” “Seriously, this is not the point!” You yell, placing your face in your hands. - HELP THEY'RE SO FUNNY

“And she’s my girlfriend,” Jake interrupts, “so you need to get your head out of your ass and stop acting like she’s not capable of taking care of herself.” - PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD

“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “He just didn’t want to hurt you either. He loves you, and I love you, too.” You run a hand through your hair, contemplating your next words. “I’m just not a baby anymore, Jongseong. I know how to handle things.” - I'm so soft I love this

“Regardless,” you say, “I’m wearing the dress.” - period queen

Waitttt cause I literally loved this!!!!!! it was so cute and perf. Jay is best for the brothers best friend trope, so is Jake. I ate this up and I need more fics with this trope...

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED | 심재윤

⟢ PAIRING: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ⟢ WORD COUNT: 7.7K ⟢ GENRE: semi-angst, fluff, smut ⟢ TAGS: brothersbsf!jake, minor age difference, college au, friends with benefits, secret relationship, light choking, semi-public sex, oral (f + m receiving), fingering penetration, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex folks) ⟢ SYNOPSIS: What began as a simple friends-with-benefits situation with your brother's best friend has turned into something deeper, and you now find that your emotions are more complicated than you initially thought. ➸ bless @temptaetions for giving me so much amazing dialogue to work with and @sweetvenomnet for getting me through finishing this monster!

You did not envision Sunday morning sitting across from your brother, concealing the bottom half of your body with your comforter and Jake next to you in bed. Jay’s face is a jumble of shock and anger, fists balled at his sides. You’re unsure if he’s ready to kick his best friend’s ass or throw him out by his neck, or both.

“How the fuck did this fucking happen,” Jay yells.

Well, you think, the beginning is a lot easier to explain than where we’re at now…

The first night you slept with Jake six months ago was like any other. Jay, your older brother by two years, was home with his best friend for the weekend. They had bonded over their freshman year as dorm buddies and Jay immediately inserted Jake into the family. “He’s like the brother I never had,” Jay would say when people would comment on them being attached at the hip.

It was not unusual for the two of them to stay over at your parents’ house when they were back in town. The university was more than three hours away. If they tried to drive home the same day, it would only end in a headache thanks to the rush-hour traffic. 

It was nice to see Jay succeeding though, his footsteps being ones you’d hope to follow in one day. He had it all figured out, while you were anything but decided. Still unsure about what to do now that you had graduated, you chose to stay home and attend community college in the meantime.

But Jay occasionally being back in your presence meant he had to fulfill his annoying brotherly roles, like boring you with tales of campus and admonishing you for risqué outfit choices.

Like that night.

He stopped you short at the door with judgmental eyes scanning up and down your dress. “Absolutely not.”

You scoffed and pushed him out of your way. The dress hugged your curves just right and the color fit your aestethic. You knew when you bought it that the length wasn’t ideal for everyday wear, but it was perfect for a night out. Jay wouldn’t tell you otherwise. “You don’t have to act like Dad, dude.”

“Listen,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We all know you’re a woman. You don’t need to prove it with a little black dress.”

“Unless you’re blind, this dress is blue,” you mocked him.

“You know what I mean, smart-ass! You’re not leaving wearing that!”

“What’s going on,” Jake called from the kitchen.

“My sister’s about to walk out of the house in a napkin,” Jay responded, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

“You’re such a prick,” you said, crossing your arms.

Jake sauntered into the sitting room, a bag of chips in his hand. He was taken back by the outfit, his eyes slowly trailing down your body. His Adam’s apple bobbed as Jay continued on his tirade about modesty to nobody but the air.

“You look pretty,” Jake said finally. He popped a chip in his mouth.

Your cheeks turned red instantly. Jay’s best friend wasn’t unattractive to look at, not in the slightest, so hearing him say such a thing even in quick passing made your body tense.

Before you could thank him for the compliment, Jay coughed like he swallowed his own spit.

“Did you just say she looks pretty?” Jay asked in his best friend’s direction.

Jake chomped down on another chip. “What,” he said, his mouth full.

“If I heard that right, you just said my sister looks pretty in her dress.”

“Yes?” Jake’s expression morphed into confusion as your brother’s face went pale.

“Do you have a death wish?” Jay asked.

“Bro, c’mon—”

“No, seriously. Do you?”

You backed up towards the door, making sure not to clack your heels too hard on the tile to be noticed.

Jay, however, sensed your escape. “I meant it! You’re not leaving without putting something else on.”

“Seongie, stop being an asshole. I’m gonna be late,” you whined.

“Dude, all I said was that she looked pretty,” Jake butted in.

Jay turned his focus back to him. “You said the girl you fucked at that club on Fifth was pretty.”

“Bro, I’m not gonna fuck—” Jake ran his free hand through his hair, smiling in incredulity at the ridiculous conversation. “Just trust me.”

“Finish that sentence.”

Jake scoffed, mouth agape. “What the hell, man?”

“Finish. The. Sentence. Jaeyun.”

“Okay, if you’re done being weirdly overprotective and Jaeyun’s done taking back his compliment, I have a happy hour to go to.”

Jay was so preoccupied with Jake at that point that he barely registered your words and your exit from the house. Before he could protest again, Jake interrupted him.

“I’m not going to fuck your sister, Jong,” he says.

“Thanks, that’s reassuring,” Jay responded.

As you closed the door, you heard Jake say, “But if she fucks me, that’s a different story.”

Despite walking down the cobblestone pathway, you heard Jake’s cries from your older brother whacking him. Jay screamed, “You sick fuck!”

Your cheeks felt hot when you finally got inside of your friend’s car. You greeted them with a smile when you sat in the back seat, but your mind kept playing back Jake’s words. He must have had enough pickings on campus and in his hometown to keep him satisfied. He didn’t need to put his effort or interest in you. There’s no way that he would, right?

Five hours later, the clock just shy of 1 AM, you stepped quietly inside to not wake your parents. Tiptoeing up the stairs to your room, you didn’t see Jay’s bedroom light on, certain he was fast asleep. That gave you some relief knowing he didn’t stick around to admonish you for not listening to his forceful advice.

What you weren’t expecting was Jake to be sprawled out on your bed, his body akin to a limp starfish. He had been scrolling endlessly through his Instagram feed until you creaked open the door to your room.

A silent scream jolted your pulse. “Jaeyun, what the fuck are you doing here?” you asked.

“Jongseong told me to wait for you. He wanted to make sure you got home safe,” Jake said absentmindedly, like being in your bed is a natural occurrence by now.

You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. “Helicopter Himbo couldn’t do that himself?”

“He linked up with some girl he knows…Dahyun I think was her name?”

You sighed. Of course Jay had to hook up with his high school ex when he had no other options to exhaust. You thought Jay had higher standards than that at this point in his life, but he was still Jay.

You nodded. The soles of your feet throbbed from wearing your heels longer than you intended to. You tried to hide the pain on your face, but Jake was quick to walk over to you and feign concern.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m just slightly buzzed and I’d like to see the inside of my eyelids and forget how bad my feet hurt right now.” You released a breathless laugh. “You can text my doofus of a brother and tell him I’m in one piece.” 

You practically motioned your head towards the door, but Jake only smirked in response.

“Well, first things first, let’s take these off.” Before you knew it, Jake leaned down and began unbuckling the clasps of your stilettos for you. The sight made the alcoholic buzz running through your veins mutate into something sensual. You felt the ache between your legs as Jake’s fingers caressed the skin of your ankle as he was taking off your shoes for you, and immediately you remembered who he was.

This was wrong, and in no way going to happen. Not with someone who your brother confided in and loved so dearly. No matter how it felt every time you looked at him, or if he did intimate things like this that made you question everything.

“I meant what I said earlier you know,” Jake whispered. “And I wasn’t trying to take it back when Jongseong was grilling me about it.”

“I get it. He can be intense sometimes,” you mumbled.

“But you did look pretty. Fuck, you still do.” Jake chuckled to himself and positioned your feet out of the shoes and onto the carpet floor. The fabric felt cool against your toes, and instinctively you released a pleasurable sigh.

“So much better,” you moaned, smiling. “Thank you.”

Jake stood up, his grin infectious. “My pleasure.”

Neither of you moved, and admittedly you were glad Jake hadn’t made his exit yet. In the blur between your gratitude and onslaught of confusing feelings, the tether between your head and your body loosened. 

Then you were kissing him. You were kissing your brother’s best friend and enjoying it very much, an amalgamation of all the passing glances you threw at him when Jay wasn’t looking and the semi-flirty conversations coming to a head in your lips and tongue.

Jake was kissing you back with the same fervor, his hands roaming to the curve of your ass and groaning in your mouth at the sensation of your bodies touching.

“Fuck,” Jake swore and pulled you in tighter, clutching at the hem of your dress.

In a tangle of fingers and lips, you almost didn’t register the feeling of your mattress against your back and the cool air on your skin when Jake pulled the dress down your body. But you did relish in the feeling of his tongue between your legs and how deliciously he slipped inside of you afterwards. And by that point, there was no time to regret and worry about what would happen next. All that mattered was the present and savoring it.

Three weeks after that first encounter, it was easy to forget it ever happened. The next morning, Jay and Jake had gone back to campus without a word. That was normal for them, seeing as they woke early and didn’t want to disturb anyone in the house.

For you, it was a bit disheartening, but it proved exactly what you knew. It was a mistake and a potential repeat was nonexistent. “Jeong’ll never find out and this can stay buried,” you told yourself.

Jay was too busy with his studies to respond with anything but one-word answers to your texts after that, so you gave up initiating anything. Jake, however, began texting you often to either greet you in the morning or say he hoped you were having a good day. It was sweet, but you didn’t read too deep into it. You replied in kind and left it at that.

Then, the boys came back one Friday afternoon in Jake’s Tahoe, and your nerves were live wires at their impromptu arrival. You had not seen Jake since that night in your bedroom. You felt the heaviness of guilt when you welcomed Jay home with a hug. A secret shouldn’t have had the power to eat you alive,  but it did all the same.

And it didn’t help seeing Jake either. His smile took you back to the hours you had spent together in your bed. It was a kaleidoscope of memories. His hands on your hips, his whispers in your ear, his mouth in between your legs— 

“Yo!” Jay waved his hand in front of your face. “I asked if you could help us with the last duffel bag.”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, walking over to the trunk. Jake’s shoulder brushed yours as you moved past him, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. If you weren’t deluding yourself, you could’ve sworn you heard his throat catch in the same way.

You decided to leave the house that night, meeting up with a classmate to take your mind off of what was waiting at home. The Uber driver was polite, not bothering you as you were lost in your thoughts. Thankfully, the tequila sunrise you gulped down numbed your thought processes long enough that you could unwind and converse without rambling on about the situation you were in.

Then, you heard the ping of your phone and saw Jake’s message light up the screen.

Received at 11:23 PM: I’m picking you up. JS doesn’t want you taking an Uber when you’re not sober.

You sighed and typed back a reply with the hand not holding your drink. The words might have been mistyped, but you knew the message would get across to him.

Sent at 11:27 PM: im find u dont ned to come th last guy w nice.

Received at 11:29 PM: Sure. I’ll be there in 15.

You groaned. Jake could be as stubborn as your brother; it was no surprise the two of them became such good friends.

When Jake’s arrival came closer, you said goodbye and walked out of the bar, kicking your feet on the sidewalk gravel while you waited.

His truck’s lights came into full view a minute later. You got inside without a word, leaning your forehead against the passenger window. Just because he was being stubborn didn’t mean you had to be okay with it.

“Have fun?” Jake kept his focus on the road, but he sounded sincere when he asked about your night. While your heart swelled at the tone of his voice, it made the thoughts you tried so hard to suppress creep back in with full force. You were at a loss as to what to say. Honesty was off the table, but you weren’t capable of pulling your heart from your sleeve.

“I was. Not anymore.” You pouted.

You didn’t let him respond to your comment, instead looking around at his car’s interior and changing the subject. “I didn’t expect you to own a Tahoe.”

“What do you mean?” He asked with a chuckle.

“It’s so much space for one person.”

“Well, it was my dad’s truck. He gave it to me before I left for school. Now, I use it to go hiking and stuff with my dog, Layla.”

You smiled and leaned into the seat, looking at him. “That’s hard to believe.”

“That I have a dog or that I actually do physical activity? You’ve seen my body.”

You giggled and turned away. “I guess both. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Jungseong’s allergic. My parents thought plushies were a good compromise. And it all makes sense now. You can’t be that handsome naturally.”

Jake laughed harder. Without warning, he put his hand on your thigh, the feeling foreign yet incredibly welcome. You hummed in pleasure at the sensation. While you would’ve loved to enjoy the moment, your logic kicked in at the scene playing out in front of you.

“Jaeyun, you can’t just do that.”

“Why not? I wanted to,” he confessed, squeezing the curve of your knee. He moved his hand slowly across your skin.

You bit your lip and shook your head. “Just because you want to doesn’t mean you should.”

“Are we still talking about my hand or something else?” You gave him a stern but cutting look, the Are you kidding me evident in your eyes. It made Jake curse into the open air. “Fuck this.”

Jake pulled off into a vacant parking lot of a convenience store, one lamppost barely lighting the surrounding area. He put the car in park with an aggressive fist on the stick shift.

“Okay,” he started. “You want to talk about that night? Let’s talk about it.”

He inhaled a breath. You were terrified of what was unsaid and what he planned on saying, but you knew it was better to put it to rest sooner rather than later.

“I’m not sorry for what happened that night. I liked it and I liked you.” He looked directly into your eyes, his pupils dilating with extreme vulnerability. “I like you. And I’d like to repeat that night as many times as you want, but you’re my best friend’s sister and I don’t know how to accept those two things being true at once.”

You were taken back, his words the ones you wish you could have said to him before he left that morning. You tried to stamp down the truth many times since then, but Jake feeling the exact same way made you realize it wasn’t wrong to want what you wanted.

And Jay didn’t have to know everything.

“I do too,” you responded. “I like you too, and that night is all I’ve been thinking about.” You felt the knot in your stomach loosen, smiling in surprise from his confession. “And I would like to have more of those nights, for sure. In more than just my bed.”

Jake smirked and leaned in closer to you, lips ghosting over yours. “So if I said I wanted to fuck you in my car, you’d let me?”

You didn’t respond to that question with words, both of you knowing the question itself was rhetorical. You pressed your mouth to his hard.

The kiss was a clash of teeth and tongue, the act a desperate plea to pull each other closer after weeks of not being together. Now that you had Jake where you wanted him, you weren’t letting him go. 

Jake palmed one of your breasts over your shirt, and you partially broke away from his mouth to moan. He swallowed it, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.

“You like that?” Jake asked, his voice husky.

“Fuck yes,” you said, knowing it was the truth. Nothing felt better than his touch on your skin.

He grabbed the side of your throat with his free palm. The other was hovering over the waistband of your shorts, his thumbs deftly unbuttoning them and dragging the zipper down.

“Tell me now if you don’t want this,” he panted. “And I swear I’ll stop.”

You shook your head vigorously. “If you stop right now, Jaeyun, I might just have to kill you.”

Jake gave you a crooked smile and kissed you again, harder than the first time but just as pleasurable.

His fingers dipped into your underwear, and you both groaned when he found your clit. He was surprised that the little amount of foreplay already made you this wet. You were just glad to have his fingers where you needed them the most.

You moved your hips in rhythm with his digits, the figure-eight patterns he was drawing into your skin creating stars behind your eyes. You released numerous whimpers and gasps into Jake’s mouth as he kept rubbing up and down your pussy, your clit receiving the most attention.

But it wasn’t enough.

“Jaeyun, I need you inside of me, please,” you begged. You gripped onto his shirt tightly to emphasize how bad the desire was to feel him stretch you open.

He nipped your lips again. “Climb in the back seat, baby.”

Jake followed in suit as soon as you moved from the passenger seat to the back. Once he sat down, you had his pants around his ankles and the head of his dick lined up with your entrance, your panties moved to the side to make room for him.

The fullness of his cock filling you to the hilt made your eyelids flutter. Jake knocked the back of his head into one of the headrests, the groan that left his mouth so beautiful you wished you could’ve replayed the sound on loop.

“God, you’re so tight.” He pushed his hips up further into you, the tip kissing your cervix. “It’s fucking incredible.”

You moaned in agreement. Beginning to grind his hips into yours, you licked and sucked the spot behind Jaeyun’s ear. You remembered how much he loved it the first night you had sex, and he loved it even more now that you were partially in control riding him.

He bucked up into you here and there, but for the most part, you were setting the pace. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other as well as both of your moan-laced expletives filled the back seat.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Bounce on this cock. Show me how much you want me.” He trapped your hips with his hands, holding on tight as you continued to grind against him.

“I want to come so bad, Jae,” you gasped. “Please make me come.”

Jake took his index and middle finger and found your clit again. He circled the nub with tenderness as you continued to ride him without mercy. He knew he could come at anytime with how well you were touching him and taking all of him inside of you, but he had no problem waiting until you found your pleasure first.

You felt the orgasm creeping up on you, starting in the pit of your stomach and ready to come to the surface. You begin to grow sloppy with your rhythm, and Jake took extra effort with his fingers to push you over the edge.

“Let go for me, love. Come all over me.”

You cried out, clutching onto Jake’s hair hard as you rode out your orgasm to its full capacity. Jake let go in that same moment, painting your insides white and cursing the entire time at how good it felt.

When you sat down next to him in the back seat, both of you sated and breathless, you knew the path forward was uncertain. And sure, a million questions still lingered in your mind, but you stored them away without a second thought, refusing to let them ruin your current happiness.

This led to where you were with Jake for the past six months, having sex every time he was in town and even sneaking off to visit him when you had the chance. He would pick you up in his truck and hold your hand across the console the entire drive to and from his student apartment. The two of you were skilled at keeping your trysts out of sight from Jay both in your hometown and on campus, the local spots he wanted to take you to and your favorite hometown stores not ones Jay frequented often.

At the same time, Jay had gotten back into a relationship with Dahyun, but you were optimistic for the both of them this time around. He seemed to be really happy, as were you, although he didn’t know the reason why. Dahyun would hang out with the guys and you when she got off work, and the four of you would drink and watch movies together like any other couples would.

The only part that didn’t fit such a picture perfect image was the fact you and Jake were not a couple at all. You slept together and did most things boyfriends and girlfriends did, but there were no labels. It was as if saying it out loud would make it real, and then you’d have to confront the biggest hurdle of all: telling your brother. And you were determined to put that off for as long as possible.

One morning, as you made breakfast in the kitchen for all three of you, Jake slid in behind you without you noticing. You gasped, feeling his chest against your back. “Jae, you can’t do that!”

“Couldn’t help it. Smelled pretty good in here,” Jake responded, kissing the spot that joined your neck and shoulder together, his hair tickling your ear in the process.

“I know, I can’t wait to eat it.”

“I was gonna say the same thing.” Jake smirked.

“Jae,” you reprimanded him, grinning. “Jongseong could come down at any second.”

“But he’s not. Last time I checked, he was still asleep.” The curve of his lips touched your collarbone, making you shiver.

“And when was that?”

In that moment, you both heard Jay yelling “I did it!” in tandem with his quick steps down the staircase. You both split apart in record time. Jake pretended he was searching for a drink in the fridge while you flipped the fried egg in the pan.

“I finally did it,” Jay exclaimed, a wide smile on his face directed at Jake.

“Did what?” Jake asked.

“I got you a date with Dahyun’s cousin Jihyo tonight. Dahyun’s been dying to go out to this new restaurant downtown, and I know you’ve been lacking in the pussy department lately.” You felt the saliva in the back of your mouth hit the wrong pipe, and you coughed.

“You okay, sis?” Jay asked, grabbing you by the shoulder.

“Yeah. Just choked for a second, sorry.” There was nothing wrong with Jake going out; he had no obligations to you. Yet, at the same time, the thought of him finding someone new felt like acid on your tongue.

Jay turned back to Jake, excitement filling his features again. “Come on man, you haven’t picked anyone up in what? Five months? Either your game got terrible or you’ve been holding out on me about some new chick.”

You plopped the fried egg on the plate next to you and motioned for Jake to pick it up. “Over medium, how you like it.”

“How do you know his egg order, freak?” Jay questioned you with a chuckle.

“I asked him this morning, dingbat. While you were snoring in your room and told me to leave so you could get your beauty rest.” Jay gave you the middle finger but you didn’t pay attention to him. You looked back at Jake with shy eyes. “You want toast?”

“No thank you,” Jake said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. You could tell when Jake was uncomfortable. His entire body grew stiff at the thought of being roped into a double date with a stranger.

But, avoiding suspicion, Jake said, “Sure man. Can’t promise I’ll be into her, though.”

Jay smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “I’ll take it.”

When Jay ran back upstairs to call Dahyun with the news, Jake dropped his plate back on the counter. He suddenly pinned you against it with his hands on your waist, forcing you to look at him. “I don’t have to go on this date if you don’t want me to.”

You shook your head, the faintest frown on your face, hoping it looked more like an expression of indifference. “If you don’t, Seongie’s going to ask more questions. Besides, we’re not together. You don’t have to ask for my permission.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” He furrowed his eyebrows. If there was one emotion you didn’t show him often, it was ice. But if the alternative was being emotionally exposed in that moment, you would choose the former.

“You know what I mean.” You broke free from his grasp, swallowing the bitter taste in your mouth. You turned off the stove and threw the sizzling pan into the sink. “Hope you have fun.”

Jake waited for you to elaborate, but after a minute of silence, he admitted his defeat and walked out of the kitchen. It cracked a piece of your heart to be so cold, but what other choices were on the table?

Once he was gone, you grabbed your phone from your pocket. Typing out the number in your mind and pressing the call button, you hoped the man you were looking for answered.

“Sunghoon?” You spoke, relieved he picked up. “I need a huge favor.”

“Do I have to?” Sunghoon groaned, straightening the collar of his polo shirt. “This is so ridiculous.”

“Hold my fucking hand, Hoon, or I swear to god I will tell Professor Choi you used my essay on Machiavelli for your paper.”

He released a low, agitated sound and put his hand in yours, squeezing your palm in retaliation. You smiled and walked into the restaurant. 

You didn’t go all out with your outfit. A simple dress and denim jacket fit with the atmosphere of the Brazilian barbecue joint Dahyun wanted to check out. Sunghoon also followed your instructions to the letter, looking presentable without trying too hard.

The hostess made you both wait fifteen minutes or so for a table. Even at 9 PM on a Saturday, past normal dinner time for most folks, the business was still bustling due to the word of mouth from their grand opening a week ago. It didn’t take long though for you to find Jay and Jake sitting at a table in a corner booth. It was like Jake’s presence in any tiny or expansive space was a magnet, pulling you in without giving you space to put up a fight.

“So that’s the guy,” Sunghoon stated, staring at Jake next to your brother. “He’s cute. I see why you’re in love with him.”

“Shut up!” You laughed and smacked him in the chest. He pretended to act hurt, smiling the entire time.

Your Humanities classmate might have been too sarcastic and vain for his own good, but you knew he was a good friend and would always come if you called. And while it was purely platonic, he didn’t mind playing the part of the arm candy for another free essay.

In the midst of your shared laughter, neither of you saw both Jay and Jake walking over to you. Jay’s cough pulled you out of your trance, and you stood stock still at the sight of Jake’s clenched jaw and crossed arms, immediately dropping Sunghoon’s hand in the process.

Jay said your name in annoyance. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hoon and I have class together, but we decided to have dinner after studying,” you say with a smile. “Funny we’d be at the same place as you guys!”

“You have my location, dipshit,” Jay said with a stone face.

“Just because I have it doesn’t mean I look at it,” you said in your defense.

Hoon held his hand out to both men, but you knew it was bait specifically meant for Jake. “Nice to meet you.”

Jake clenched his jaw even tighter. You thought he would break the bottom half of his face if he kept it up. To your surprise, he grabbed Sunghoon’s hand like a pure gentleman. Jay did the same.

You immediately felt so small. It didn’t have to be this way, trying to pull a front for this guy that wasn’t even yours. If it took this much effort to be exclusive, a title you didn’t fight for to begin with, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

When Sunghoon let go of Jay’s hand, you grabbed him by the bicep. “We can just go somewhere else. We’ll probably wait another hour before getting a table if we stay, anyway.”

Jay agreed. “I had to book this in advance, so she’s probably right.”

Jake looked directly in your eyes when he said, “Hope you have fun.” Mirroring your words from earlier, Jake’s were laced with spiteful sarcasm.

Sunghoon put a hand on the small of your back and guided the two of you out of the restaurant. It took everything in you to not turn back and reveal it all in that stupid restaurant, but you circled back to your initial thoughts. What would it do attempting to claim him now? It was already pointless.

You didn’t make it home until midnight, spending the night scarfing down Chinese with Sunghoon in his apartment and watching old seasons of New Girl together. It was a bitch thinking about what it would be like when you got home. Jay would quiz you on Sunghoon and his motives or Jake would get defensive on what you were doing with the guy to begin with. Or both.

The last piece of advice Sunghoon left you with as he drove off was to “be honest” with Jake, if that was any bit as simple as it sounded coming out of his mouth.

You stepped inside your house without a care for your noise level, knowing your parents were off on an overseas conference for four days. And what were the chances the guys had gotten home by now?

 But, like the first night you had spent together, Jake was waiting up for you in your room, sitting stock straight with his hands in his lap.

You didn’t freak out or feel shocked by his presence. You were glad to see him actually, but greeting him with anything but a hello would have been inappropriate given the last few hours.

“Hi,” you began.

“Why have you been gone so long?” His voice was clipped, matter-of-fact but laced with authority. The mixture of sadness and anger in his face surprised you. Jake was always fun, silly, casual…never like this.

“I lost track of time.” It was the easiest answer to give him, even if it wasn’t enough to assuage his concerns. “We just ate takeout and watched sitcoms.”

He nodded and stood up. Walking closer to you, the emotions on his face registered to you so clearly now. The anger was simply misplaced pain, unsure where to go but in front of you for an answer. “What do you want from me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you what this is, what are we doing here?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Seeing you tonight with that dickhead was all I thought about while eating that churrasco and listening to Jay’s dumb jokes. And if that’s against some unspoken rule, I need to know.”

You gulped down a heavy bubble of air. It was now or never. Choose to either lose the guy you had spent so much time with by keeping your feelings to yourself or risk him breaking your heart by being vulnerable.

“I don’t want you going on dates with anyone else.” You beginning with that wasn’t perfect, but you were out of ideas.

He nodded. “Okay.”

“Sunghoon’s a friend, but you’re my best friend. And you make me feel like nobody else ever has.” Your lip quivered. “I feel like an idiot for not saying it before, but I’ve liked you since the second Jay introduced all of us to you. And maybe all you want out of this is exclusive sex and I’m even more of an idiot for saying all of this but—”

Jake caught your mouth in a perfect kiss, effectively shutting you up. A tear passed between your lips, but he was all you tasted. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes bright and expression full of mirth. “You’re a beautiful idiot, but still an idiot for not realizing I feel the same..”

You gasped. Grabbing his shirt, you pulled him back in hungrily.

The subsequent kisses and touches were ripe with the things you didn’t know how to say in words but could easily express with your body. Every kiss on his jaw told him how enraptured he made you feel. Each pass of your hands exploring his naked skin expressed why you saw nobody but him in the most crowded room. And when you took him into your mouth, you hoped Jake knew why it was so easy to fall for him and want nobody else.

“Just like that,” he said, tenderly grabbing your hair as you stroked what you couldn’t fit past your lips.

It didn’t last long. Jake pulled you in his arms and said, “I want to be inside you.” 

Jake held you as you sunk down onto him. Your legs were wrapped around his waist as he sat on the edge of the bed, rocking his hips up into you. No matter how many times you had sex, it still felt incredible feeling all of him fitting around the spaces inside of you. You wished he could occupy them forever.

“Fuck,” you exclaimed, clutching the hair at the nape of his neck. Your bodies were slick, foreheads touching but slippery from perspiration.

But it didn’t matter how loud you were being or how sweaty your skin became. All you could focus on was the words that came out of Jake’s mouth. “God, I love you so much.”

It didn’t make you slow down, instead riding him faster and kissing him fervently in response. You mewled into his mouth, feeling yourself coming undone quickly.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced.

“Right there with you, sweetheart. Come with me,” he said, and so you did. You felt the warmth of him inside of you in tandem with the downfall of your orgasm, siphoning every drop until you were spent.

When you were lying next to each other, however, you remembered those three little words that slipped from his mouth.

“You said you loved me,” you stated in post-coitus bliss, covering half of your face with your comforter.

“So what if I did?” He was glowing, and it only made you smile harder. “So what if I do?”

You smirked and pecked his lips sweetly, nipping his bottom lip. “I love you too, you goof.”

You woke up next to each other that morning, both in a euphoric daze despite your fatigue. You also took into account how you now held the title of Jake’s girlfriend, a majority of the reason why you were a thousand leagues above cloud nine. Jake showed his joy in the form of his tongue pressed to your clit. 

But it didn’t last for long.

You weren’t fast enough to cover yourself when Jay barged in asking whether or not you had seen Jake at all. Little did he know he would find his best friend in the last place he ever expected.

Which led to now, your brother interrogating the two of you like you committed the worst crime humanly possible. In a way, you could see why he would think such a thing.

“So you kiss my sister—” Jay starts.

You cut him off, grabbing Jake’s hand. “I kissed him first.”

“Then you decide to hook up in my car.”

“It was actually my car.” Jake counters, squeezing your fingers with his own.

“And now I find you guys here in your room”—Jay looks directly at you—“just doing whatever the fuck you were doing before I came in.” His face is red from the shock. “How long has this been going on?”

“Six months,” Jake says.

Jay takes a deep breath of air into his lungs, his body rising and falling at a rapid rate. He’s probably grateful your parents can’t hear him yelling. Otherwise they’d come in and ask more invasive questions while you’re not in the position to answer them, half naked and all.

“And where was I while you guys were fucking behind my back?” Jay asks, darting his eyes between the both of you.

“Hanging out between Dahyun’s legs?” You hypothesize, throwing your other hand in the air. “How the hell are we supposed to remember?”

“And you expect me to believe you kissed his scrawny ass first?” Jay asks you.

“Dude, you’ve seen me shirtless,” Jake remarks, rolling his eyes.

 “True, but it’s not much of a show, bro.”

“Seriously, this is not the point!” You yell, placing your face in your hands.

“Yes it is! You’re my sister!”

“And she’s my girlfriend,” Jake interrupts, “so you need to get your head out of your ass and stop acting like she’s not capable of taking care of herself.”

Jake stands up to Jay, the two of them face to face with each other in a way you expected when your relationship came out of the shadows. You don’t want Jay to feel betrayed, but at the same time, it will kill you if Jake gets hurt trying to stick up for you.

“My priority will always be looking out for my family.” Jay turns to you, disappointment clear as day in his eyes. “No matter how I’ve shown it, I didn’t expect to be branded the bad guy for wanting to protect you.”

Jay slams the door on his way out. Tears prick your eyes, silence permeating the bedroom.

Jake sits back down next to you and places a few kisses on the curve of your shoulder. “Believe it or not, but I think he took it better than I thought he would.”

“He hates me,” you sob.

“He doesn’t hate you. Maybe me, but never you.” Jake takes your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, tucking it gingerly between his fingers. “Nobody could ever hate you.”

“I need to fix this, though.” You swiftly kiss Jake’s lips before standing up to get dressed, throwing on a pair of gym shorts and one of his shirts you stole. When you go to Jay’s room, it’s empty. But you hear the faint notes of a guitar from somewhere on the first floor of the house.

You walk down the stairs to find Jay strumming his favorite Yamaha in the living room, the one your father brought home from a trip to Japan for Jay as his graduation present. You step towards his spot on the couch quietly, but he’s already too adept at sensing your presence. He stops playing but says nothing.

“Hey,” you say.

“Don’t.” Jay’s voice is gruff. “Don’t ‘hey’ me right now.”

“Well, if you’re looking for an apology, I’m not going to give you one.”

The two of you are silent, unsure where to take the conversation next. What was there to say? Yes, you felt guilty for keeping Jay in the dark, but either way, the situation would hurt him. His best friend and his younger sister falling in love is not ideal, but feelings couldn’t be fought. All the same, the deceit sat in your stomach like a stone, begging to be thrown away.

You sigh and sit down on the love-seat, adjacent to Jay’s spot on the couch. “I really like him, Seongie,” you confess. “No. I, actually—I love him.”

Jay looks directly at you for the first time, his eyes a bit puffy. “Are you happy?”

“What?”

“Are you happy? Does he treat you well?”

You laugh. “I mean we’ve only been a couple for about 12 hours, so—”

“You know what I mean, asshat.” The two of you share a laugh together, the mood much lighter than before. “Do you see a future with him?”

You nod. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then I can’t get in between that. I just wish one of you would’ve fucking said something.”

“And I would’ve, but you know Jaeyun.”

Jay nods. “He’s a wimp.”

“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “He just didn’t want to hurt you either. He loves you, and I love you, too.” You run a hand through your hair, contemplating your next words. “I’m just not a baby anymore, Jongseong. I know how to handle things.”

Jay nods, sniffling. “I know. It’s just…hard.”

“What is?”

He puts his guitar by his side. Clapping his hands together, he tries to brush off whatever emotion is surfacing. “It’s nothing, I don’t know. Stupid, probably.”

You move positions to sit closer to your brother, placing a hand on his knee. “Nothing you say to me could ever be stupid.”

He knocks you in the shoulder with his fist lightly. “It’s just—when did you get so grown up? You gotta stop doing that.”

“If I did, I’d be dead.”

“True.” Jay chuckles. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you. And I hope you and Jaeyun can talk, too.”

“We will. For now, I’m just glad we did.”

Nodding, you open your arms for a hug, a hug that Jay gladly accepts. It’s a tight one that encompasses both a white flag of retreat and a sincere love for you that you forget to remember sometimes in the midst of his teasing and admonishment. You now know, more than ever, it’s his way of protecting you and proving he cares.

And you’re grateful to have both him and now Jake by your side through all your successes and slip-ups.

“You don’t seriously think I’m okay with you wearing that dress again now that you have a boyfriend, right,” Jay asks. “I’m even more against it because Jake will have a heart attack.”

You chuckle and twirl in the mirror, checking the back of your dress to make sure it’s sitting right on you. “He thought I looked pretty in it the first time.”

“Well now, he’s not worried about you looking pretty. He’s worried about other douchebags checking you out.” Jay flips the page of his book, trying to feign a nonchalant expression. “I’m just saying, he’s still my best friend. I know things.”

You poke your tongue out at your brother. The doorbell rings and you rush to answer, your heart beating at a vigorous pace in your chest.

Once you open the door, Jake’s standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a lopsided grin on his face. When he sees your dress, however, his smile falters a fraction.

“Oh my god, Jay was right!”

“I usually am,” Jay yells from his space in the sitting room armchair.

Jake looks confused, but the realization dawns on him in a flash. “No, you look beautiful. It’s just…a bit short, don’t you think?”

You pout, crossing your arms. “I spent so much time getting ready, Jae.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He takes his free hand and rests it on your hip. “And everyone will be able to see that. I just don’t want to have to fight anyone off at the restaurant.”

You giggle. Going in for an impromptu kiss, you smell the traces of his cologne. The scent could make your knees buckle, but you try to stay confident and lull your boyfriend into submission. “I’ll only be looking at you. And I can defend myself just fine, baby.”

Jake’s bottom lip juts out. “So, I can’t convince you to change?”

You shake your head, grinning.

Jay sneaks up behind you, making you gasp. “If she isn’t gonna listen to her brother, she’s definitely not gonna listen to you, man.”

Jay and Jake exchange a handshake. You’re relieved their relationship has recovered from the reveal of your relationship, but you know that means they have the potential to gang up on you more out of their misguided sense of protection.

“I have the advantage though. She’s in love with me,” Jake sing-songs, kissing you on the cheek after doing so.

“Regardless,” you say, “I’m wearing the dress.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Just change, for fuck’s sake.”

Jake nods. “Pretty please?”

“Not a chance in hell, boys.”

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #47 | 4.26.25 ๋࣭⭑

no bc we r actually so back brothers ive got FOOD TODAY

We are ALIVEEEEE AND BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER ((FR THIS TIME!!!).

Before we get into actual updates, I wanted to give context on where my life's been at basically the past year. As many of you know, I got my PhD last December (YEAAAA) which meant for the second half of 2024, I was literally in a cave crunching my dissertation. Now, many people (including me) thought after I finished my dissertation, I'd be a lot freer for Alaris stuff. But since this year started, I've been completely preoccupied with some personal matters which kept me from working on Alaris as much as I wanted to.

While the personal matters aren't anything anyone has to be worried about, they did take up A Lot of my time, and I'm really happy to say that I am officially free from those obligations too!!! Meaning for the first time in literally a year, I am NOT drowning. And that time has already been used Very Fruitfully heh....heh....heh.....

WANNA SEE???

Writing has been on a bit of a stall, and the main reason why is something I'll talk about in the Miscellaneous section! But it's nothing to worry about since it's because I want to focus on other parts of the game right now. With almost all of the routes finished, I've noticed that the writing pace I've maintained has resulted in the art and programming aspects to fall a bit behind where I want those parts of game dev to be.

So recently, I've focused more attention on the art and programming components rather than writing. That being said, writing still makes slow but steady progress! Kuna'a's development edits continue to progress, and Etza's route is about to be sent to line editing, which is the last stage of editing for my writing process. This means once Etza's line edits are finished, the four Central routes will be COMPLETELY FINISHED!! Exciting right!!!!

For art, I can't actually show very many sneak peeks since it's mostly been CGs and character design commissions heh. But I am willing to give a slight sneak peeks of these character designs in these two beta screenshots

Sickest character designs by @saffein-e

While these sneak peeks don't represent the final character sprites, they are the OG designs created by bestie Saf. And even from the designs alone, the characters are stunning additions to the cast! I can't wait to draw them in my own style and hopefully do Saf's amazing work justice 💖💖💖 In these screenshots too, you can see some of the newer BGs and hints of overlays that we've added to the game to heighten the visual effects hehe.

I've also been working on CGs for Etza's route and am happy to say our CG count is currently at 26 completed CGs (5 sketched ones) out of 54! Now that I'm making an active effort to Lock in on the art assets, I'm hoping CG and sprite development picks up a bit in the coming months ^^

And finally... for the most exciting news!!!!!

ETZA'S BETA WILL BE OUT MONDAY!!!!

We have finally moved forward on the beta build front, and beta testers will finally get to play Etza's beta! Since I haven't shown much in-game screenshots from the betas in past devlogs, and you all patiently still read them, I thought this month would be a nice time to update you all on how things are looking in Alaris beta land.

In this beta, you obviously get to woo our neighborhood angel

Since it's been a while, this is a reminder of what the game looks like (LMFLSOA). I know for me it's been a while and honestly I forgot how proud I am of the art assets :') I love how everything has come together and how it looks in the game <3

Of course, Important Choices and fun cast dynamics are a few of our Favorite Things

Between the messaging interface, the chapter card, the phone call overlays, and many more little effects and stuff, I forgot how many assets are in this thing. Being able to code Etza's beta has been an amazing reminder of how much work I've put into Alaris over the years ^^

Which brings me to exciting news!!!! I will make the official announcement separately at a later time, but as a reward for people who actually read these things, you're the first to know. With Etza's beta coming out soon, that means the four Central routes will have finished beta testing. And with where things are at, I've made the official decision that...

Alaris will enter Early Access for the First Four Routes!!!

I don't have an exact date for when this will release since it largely depends on how quickly I can art. But I'd like to aim for a tentative Q3 release for the Early Access Build! More details will come when I make the official announcement, but it is extremely exciting to have reached a point where I can even put this out there to people!!!

I hope you all are excited, and I want to thank everyone who has been on this journey with me whether it's as a recent or long time fan!!

Finally, I haven't really had time for market research since I've been in the "Returning the Game Dev" trenches. But I do have other exciting news that I'll make yet another official announcement on later.

Aside from the new Alaris beta, I've also had another small side project I've been working on with some friends (very chill-like) over the past couple of months. It'll be the first Crescence Dark Fantasy entry in my collection of games, and it's definitely a different vibe from what I've put out so far.

Where They Wait will be a new game submitted to Ossan Jam with elements of horror, fantasy, and dark romance :3c I'm so grateful to the team I've worked with and all the work they've put into our little shared baby, and I can't wait for you all to play it! This will also be coming out WELL, Monday too LMAFLIDJLIFJ.

As you can see, we've been hard at work behind the curtain. Since I last talked to you all, we've made a lot of nice headway on the different projects I've had on my plate, and I'm excited to feel like we're hitting our stride on so many things!!!!

Until next time we talk, which will be Very Soon with all our exciting announcements coming up. Thank you as always for being patient with me and supporting me!

[dinoandguitar]

I'm lovinggg the holding their newborns for the first time series, it's just sooo sweet <33

Do you think you could do one for Woozi maybe? 🥺 It's fine if you don't, thnks and have a nice day!

"Something I never want to forget"

Husband!LeeJihoon (WOOZI) x Afab!Reader

Genre: Pure Fluff!

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, childbirth (Reader has just given birth). The setting is at a hospital.

A/N : Hi! I'm so glad you liked the series! 🫶🏾 Thank you so much for the request. Hope you like this one as well :) Please feel free to send in more requests ✨️

Masterlist

The room was quiet. Not in an uncomfortable way, but in the kind of stillness that follows something life-changing. The kind that makes everything else fade into the background. The machines, the hallway noise, the soft murmur of nurses walking past the door. All of it faded when they placed her in his arms.

Your daughter. His daughter.

Jihoon stared down at her like she was something he’d dreamed about once and never thought he’d actually get to touch.

He didn’t speak at first. Just looked. Her tiny fingers twitched against the fabric of the blanket, and he looked like he’d stopped breathing for a second.

“Is she okay?” he asked, so softly you barely heard him. “Is she comfortable?”

“She’s perfect,” you whispered with a tired smile, still tucked into the hospital bed, weak but glowing. “She’s with you.”

Jihoon’s arms tightened just a little, like the thought alone gave him strength. His lips parted like he wanted to say something, but it took him a moment. He blinked quickly and glanced at you for just a second…then back at her.

“I didn’t think I’d be this scared,” he said finally. “But I am. I’m so scared.”

“Why?” you asked gently.

“Because I’ve never loved anything this much.” His voice cracked, barely audible.

You didn’t expect that-not from him. Jihoon wasn’t cold, but he was quiet. Reserved. He held his love in actions and music and the quiet weight of his presence. But now, as he stared down at your daughter like she hung the stars, all of it was spilling out.

“She’s so small,” he whispered. “I didn’t think she’d be this small.”

“She’s new,” you chuckled, tired. “She’ll grow.”

He nodded slowly, still unable to take his eyes off her. Then, as if realizing it all at once, he shifted and sat on the edge of your bed so you could see her better. He angled her carefully, his movements full of reverence and awe, like he was holding something sacred.

“This is your Eomma,” he whispered to the baby. “She’s amazing. She’s everything. She did all the hard stuff while I just stood around like an idiot.”

You laughed again, tears burning your eyes. He looked loving at you. “You brought her into the world.” His eyes flicked to yours, more serious now. “I watched you do the impossible. I’ve never-” he paused, his jaw clenched slightly like he was trying not to cry again. “I’ve never been more proud of anyone in my life.”

You reached over and touched his knee, your fingers brushing against his hand where it cradled your daughter’s head. Jihoon smiled, then glanced back at the tiny girl resting against his chest.

“She’s warm,” he said, smiling now, voice soft and shaky. “And squishy. And she smells like something I never want to forget.”

He looked down at her for a long time, eyes glassy but full of light. Then, with a little breath of wonder, he said, “Hi, baby girl. I’m your Appa.” His thumb gently stroked her forehead. “That… still feels weird to say. But I’m gonna keep saying it.”

The baby stirred, her nose scrunching, mouth puckering slightly. Jihoon froze.

“Wait…did she just make a face?” he asked quickly. “Was that a face?”

“She’s a baby, Ji,” you giggled. “She makes faces.”

“But that was a real one! Like… she was thinking something. What if she didn’t like my voice? Is my voice too deep? Do you think I sound scary?”

“She’s not judging you, love.”

He let out a tiny breath of relief, still looking down at her in total disbelief. “I just want to get everything right,” he mumbled. “I want her to love me. I want her to feel safe. I want her to know I’d give her anything-everything. I want to be someone she’s proud of.”

“You already are.”

He looked at you, and his whole face softened.

“Thank you,” he said suddenly, his voice trembling with emotion. “For her. For doing all of this. For letting me have this moment. For choosing to do this with me.”

You reached up, touching his cheek, feeling the warmth and the dampness of tears he didn’t bother to hide. “I’d do it all over again, just as long as it's with you.”

Jihoon laughed through his tears, wiping at them half-heartedly with his shoulder so he wouldn’t shift her too much. “You’re too good to me.”

He leaned forward and gently rested his head against yours, the baby still between you, safe and warm.

“I’m gonna love her so much,” he whispered. “And you. Always.”

The three of you stayed like that for a while-tangled together in silence, in warmth, in everything that mattered.

And when the nurse returned quietly to check on you all, she paused in the doorway, smiling to herself before backing out again. Some moments, she knew, were too perfect to interrupt.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

A/N : Hope you liked it! Appreciate all your support 🫶🏾

[maghendearey]

Willian blue

Carlos Sainz x reader

In which you want to surprise Carlos after his first day at Williams

Trigger warning:Speeding and parking tickets, smoking

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Masterlist

Trigger warning:Speeding and parking tickets, smoking

Carlos was the most important thing to me, and what mattered most to him was me, Formula 1, and football. That meant I enjoyed being with him, accompanying him to Formula 1 races whenever I could and watching football with him whenever he wanted. He did the same for me. When he found out I loved books, he bought me some. When he learned how much I loved Spain, he bought another house there and moved there with me. Life with him was great; he was there for me, and I was there for him.

Because Formula 1 was his life, and to his regret, he had to leave Ferrari and join Williams, I wanted to make him happy. I planned a surprise for him with the help of his family. Everything was to be blue: blue table decorations, jazz music, which he loved, and his mother's pasta, which he would probably kill for.

Luckily, it turned out this way: Everyone was wearing blue, and I wore a blue and white striped shirt and had my hair down. His mother's food was already on the table, along with the peach flan, crema Catalana, and lemon sorbet with cava and orange juice that I had prepared.

But now they were all waiting for Carlos. His mother, father, sisters, and cousin were already sitting at the table. Where was Carlos? "I'm sorry, I thought he'd be on time," I said, feeling myself getting nervous. "It's okay, Mija, he'll be right there. Should I text him?" his mother asked gently. "My goodness, she was so great." "No, no, I'll do it. Thank you."

I knew it would take Carlos at least 20 minutes to get back from where he was. I sat there, the family chatting, relaxed, but I wasn't. After a few stressful minutes, I got up and went out onto the balcony. The Spanish winter air was surprisingly warm. I went to the bench and reached under it. It was my cigarette stash, but I didn't fill anything. "Mí Amor, never mind, they're gone," I heard Carlos' voice, and my head was spinning. How? How did he get here so fast? "How did you get here so fast, and where are my cigarettes?" I asked. Carlos came over and stood behind me. His arms were around me. "I threw out your cigarettes two months ago. You don't need them. And how I did it so quickly, let's put it this way. It involves way too much speeding and a few parking tickets." I giggled. "My goodness, Carlos." He pulled me even closer. "I knew you'd panic, but I'm really grateful. The food looks delicious, and I'm really looking forward to celebrating with you and my family. Let's go back inside, okay?" I nodded, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me out with him.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a comment or a like, and feel free to reposte.Wish a good day💋

[andromeda-nova-writing]

I'm so glad I keep all my works I posted in docs still. makes things easier to search

Like always, you grab everyone I would tag. But this time you left able to tag @woofwoofwolf

Your words are: strange, count, company, moved, judgement

“The second part. I've never called your personality charming.” “You sounded charmed when you were describing me moments ago. And considering what you said, I should feel important that you want me to meet her.” He threw her words right back at her. “If you would have regretted it, I don’t think you would have brought it up.”

Impressions Wriothesley x Reader

“I am too busy dealing with the affairs of Inazuma for a love life. I get proposals once a week and they are a waste of my time. You are wasting your granddaughter’s time. If getting married can free her to do as she pleases then I find no issue with ‘disgracing’ my name. If anything it would make my life easier having a translator in my home as Inazuma continues to reconnect with the world.”

Better Days Coming For Sure (If This World Were Mine) Ayato x Reader

Cyno slowly placed the cards in his hands on the table now fully paying attention to what was unfolding in front of him. Kaveh choked on his wine only for Tighnari to pat his back as he coughed.  Y/N’s face dropped. “It’s a heirloom. It’s been in my family longer than my grandpa has been alive. It can’t be. You must be mistranslating it.” She reasoned.

Hate at first sight Alhaitham x Reader I hate how this is the only fic i have that has the word card in it.

“Everything you said has made it sound like you pride yourself on a proper example.” “So you do know how to listen. You’re just horrible at application.” She leaned her head to the side, her boldness only dropping momentarily as it returned to her voice. “We should revisit what a life-changing moment is once your class has upped the passage rate.”

Qualifications of Critique Dr. Ratio x Reader

…okay maybe phrasing it like that she could see Navia’s point. Y/N sighed. Guess it was time to change her ringtone for Wriothesley to be something more appropriate. It was a 2 am decision and to be fair, no one ever had good ideas at that hour. She could hear bags being placed on the counter. “Part of taking a break requires you to get down from there.” Wriothesley was quick to remind her.

CUFF IT Wriothesley x Reader

Writing Tag Game 🏷️

Rules: I'll give you five words. Find the word (or the closest approximation you can) in your works and post an excerpt. Tag others to play and give them new words too!

My words were: Touch, Heat, Lick, Time, Ache — tagged by @oncasette, original post here! (This is such a sweet idea, thank you for thinking of me!!)

New words: Home, Dream, Hand, Think, Feel — Tagging: @solifloris @irandial @zara-renata @kentofic @grabby-smitten @comatosebunny09 @leighsartworks216 and anyone else who writes!

Touch

When Sylus touches you— when the tip of his finger catches yours and makes an honest, desperate request— you don’t pull away. Something inside tugs at you, warns you, tells you a monster without a sword in its chest is one that can bite. What colour of blood would your hands prefer? His? Your own? — (Monster)

Heat

It’s hard to believe when he’s staring back at you, oh so solid, oh so perfect. Always a picture of strength: of fiery determination or calculated coolness. Everything in extremes; nothing by halves. Except… his hair is slightly dishevelled from where he’s been working away in the heat. There’s a damp patch on his shirt. He’s wearing your pink apron, and there’s mascara on his sleeves. — (Technical Difficulties)

Lick

You’re feeling everything too keenly: the water licking at your throat, the darkness beneath you, around you, waiting to pull you under and fill your mouth. You never feel further from Rafayel than when you remember he calls that darkness home. — (Practice Makes Perfect)

Time

Pretend you have time: His gaze is full of faith and oh, the world is going to enjoy punishing the two of you. “I know,” he insists, because this is the second time you’ve fooled him tonight. You feel his hand on your face and you let him kiss you— again, then again— so achingly slow, so arrogant. The world can wait; he wants to punish you first.  — (To Remain Silent)

Ache

Your life is hunting monsters, and his is finding beauty in a world where they exist. It’s not what you see, it’s how you see it. Crimson to him is a sunset; to you it’s blood. Something in you aches as your eyes roam over his latest work. He won’t tell you what it’s meant to be, not really: that’s a private understanding between him and the canvas, his heart and every stroke of paint. — (Perspective)

[alexanderlightweight]

I hope you are continuing to feel better!

For a prompt, I would love to see something in any verse with Mirai and Magnus. I'm pretty sure she's in more than the honeycomb verse, but I can't place any others specifically. I love Magnus seeing her and Alec interact, whether it's her as a supportive second, getting Magnus access to Alec.

Or really anything with competent Alec supported by 'his' shadow hunters, dealing with incompetency from others. Mirai was just the one I remember the best.

Have an awesome rest of the week!

i'm a bit banged up today but I saw bunnies!!! BUNNIES!!!! sorry I see them quite often tbh but it never gets old. and Nightshade was the BEST boy today. sorry I got distracted.

this verse is to swear upon a curse and that's the first part. this verse is pretty Mirai heavy so I figured it would be a good one to fill for you!

but if you don't like swearing/don't want to consume it/cant I will pick a different verse so feel free to let me know.

i love Mirai and she is my favorite of all OC's tbh. She's also ridiculously competent but she worked hard to be that good.

i hope you enjoy

<3 lumine

-

to swear upon a curse

Magnus is currently experiencing the best time he’s ever spent in an Institute.  Even when he was somewhat friendly with a scant handful of shadowhunters, the delight of being around them and in an Institute has never reached the current level he’s experiencing.

Magnus finds himself leaning against a staircase as he watches comedy in action and beauty covered in horror.

It takes an unholy amount of towels and potions and a little added magic that Magnus slips into the mix for Alec Lightwood to actually become recognizable. 

It turns out that Commander Lightwood truly is unfairly gorgeous and Magnus wants to bruise that ichor raw skin with his own marks.

It’s a thought that lingers, especially because every time he thinks Magnus isn’t looking, Alexander Lightwood looks over at him from under potion damp hair and stares at him from under long, dark eyelashes.

There’s a moment — a pause in the air filled with unspoken tension when a finally clean and unfairly pretty face looks directly at Magnus — and then it breaks.

Lakecastle is obscuring his vision as she grabs a fistful of leather from a shadowhunter that runs past.

Literally runs. Doesn’t stop, doesn’t speak, just hands it over and keeps going.

“Pity, I was enjoying the view.” Magnus murmurs, just loud enough to be overheard and his Commander’s cheeks flush even as Lakecastle sends him an incredulous glance.

—

“You’re either incredibly lucky or he’s been poisoned. Take advantage of it either way. Don’t finish zipping up the vest and go talk to him.”

Mirai pushes Alec towards Bane and really hopes this isn’t going to backfire on both of them spectacularly.

But by Raziel’s wings she is not going to waste the chance of Magnus Bane apparently enjoying the eye-seering sight of ichor splattered muscles and the stench of raw skin or the evidence of Alec’s self-destructive instincts. 

If by chance Bane can get Alec to enjoy parts of life beyond the small, rather scant bits he has now, then she’ll take whatever she can get. 

Because Alec has shown more life and interest in a photograph of Bane than he has in anything since his ridiculous bullshit excuse monstrosity of a multi-arrowed bow.

But despite how foul Alec’s entire being currently is, t’s definitely working, if the way Bane’s eyes zero in on Alec mean anything and fuck Uriel. 

But Alec’s tripped.

Again.

Mirai really wants to look away and pretend that this isn’t happening but she swore to stay by Alec till the end no matter what.

Even if she would have preferred the end being a bloody death rather than one by embarrassment.

Thankfully for Mirai’s sanity and Alec’s continued existence, Bane catches him.

Actually, considering how red the back of Alec’s neck is — and it’s no longer covered in blood, Mirai checked twice — Alec’s continued existence might continue to be at stake.

Mirai hadn’t calculated the damage that would happen just from Alec being in Bane’s vicinity.  If a picture of him led to Alec tripping, how much worse and more dangerous would it be in person?

Before she can reform the half a dozen plans she’s already made, there’s the sound of a portal forming and Alec giving her the signal for — signing out. Which is fair, he’s overdue for downtime but Mirai hadn’t realized that meant he would just leave.

Through a portal.

With Bane.

Who is smirking and even gives her a jaunty little wave and with everyone — even her — ignoring the fact that it took a year to contact him and Bane hasn’t even looked at the wards.

True, she did shove Alec at Bane and tell him to take advantage of the opportunity but that was before she knew it was this big of an opportunity.  Or that she had to factor in the problems of Alec’s health and continued safety.

Well... if Bane likes Alec enough to catch him after seeing just what Mirai scrubbed off of him, then he probably likes him enough to return him in mostly one piece.

Considering that’s far better than what could happen, she will take it as the win it will have to be and hedge her bets for next time.

Because regardless of Bane’s plans, Mirai knows Alec Lightwood.

And he’s her Commander for a reason.

Mirai had her pick of the lot and she picked Alec because he wasn’t stagnate. He wanted to grow and learn and be better and become better, even if it bruised and cut and hurt him along the way.

Alec’s never been someone who gives up lightly and Bane better be prepared.  Because Bane’s just sunk his teeth into something that isn’t going to let him go.

In fact, knowing Alec.

He’ll just bite back.

—

AN:

Magnus is immune to the side-effects being around a shadowhunter pre-decontamination shower. 

Alec is not immune but also has a better tolerance than most from long term exposure. He’s also just really infatuated.  He needs a decontamination shower.

Magnus is going to provide something like that. With the added bonus of scrubbing Alec’s back since the ichor would be hard to reach and he offered

look Alec was taking advantage, Mirai gave him permission and he took it. that's the problem with Alec, you think he wont break any rules and then he'll break or bend the hell out of them and then bounce back and be like 'yes? because it made sense to do so.' or even 'you told me to.'

because Alec in some ways enjoys not necessarily malicious compliance (tho sometimes with the clave) but maliciously taking advantage of others assuming his compliance and the degree of it

aka, Mirai expected Alec to take advantage of the situation. she did not expect that to mean following Magnus to another, un-predetermined location without even going through decontamination. Alec literally playing dumb and going 'you said to take advantage, advantage is what I took?'

meaning he took advantage of the situation, Magnus and Mirai and even the term advantage all at the same time and is very proud of himself because it makes sense in the unwritten rules.

alec is not supposed to use this against Mirai. she is a little betrayed right now at realizing Alec will pull this shit on her as well. but she's also more determined than ever to help him get a life outside of hunting because she realizes he's never had a reason to pull this shit on her.

mirai also has a very high tolerance, its just that the tolerance doesn't mean you can look directly at someone without your eyes watering. like maybe magnus really likes how Alec looks in watercolor?

[reality-shitting]

I think I cracked my personal puzzle regarding consciousness and shifting.

First things first, no, I did not have a full shift. I'm shifting before the 30th however, because I said so.

So! What happened?

Well. I was just sitting around last night, wondering about some questions I had still regarding our practice. I was asking myself "How come we never see any posts from shifters 'clones' while the consciousness has shifted?"

(Note: I hate the clone term and I know it's inaccurate, but I'm writing this on my lunch so I'm on a time crunch and it's the first way I could think of to describe it. Anyways.)

And then I said, well, what if we do? Who's to say the me here isn't still posting about shifting and how I've never done it, while *I* am actively in my DR? If my consciousness is in my other reality, does that mean the old me is not conscious? No, that me is still conscious, still aware. But then if the old me is still conscious, does that mean I am *not* consciousness? I don't necessarily think so. I think I've come to realize that the radio analogy feels like the closest explanation.

If you haven't heard the radio analogy, it's essentially that your "original" self (again, not accurate but the best wording for a crunch) and your DR self are two different radio stations. You, as a consciousness, need to tune your frequency from the first you to the next. So you turn your dial, move through the static, and now you're on your preferred station.

I'm a very visual thinker, so I think it'd be better if I demonstrated what I'm saying with a picture.

This is our current reality. You are "here". You are witnessing your life as person A. You may notice that there's a little dangle beneath you, connecting you to your body. That is Consciousness. (Pretend person B has it too, I forgot it in this one lol)

This is when you're tuning your frequency. This is you in the process of shifting. You're in-between, here and there. Both a and b are connected. This is where "mini" shifts, memories and other senses from World B download into consciousness A. This is why I believe @/kerryshifts could see reality warping and molding around them.

The channel has changed. You have fully shifted. You are witnessing your life as person B. You are connected to that life, that awareness. Notice how when you shift, the connector on A isn't gone. Person A is still aware, still has consciousness, still has awareness. This is why you don't end up in a comatose/unconscious state when you shift from awareness to awareness. Life goes on as usual, even if you are not witness to it.

So are you the awareness, the consciousness or something else?

I think, and this is me, that either the awareness/consciousness stays within the body, in a sense. One of them is mental and linked to the brain's perception of reality. The other is the spiritual perception of reality, what we may refer to as a ghost or spirit. The spiritual observer is what I think we are. We are the radio waves traveling through the air, connecting from one antenna to the next. I could absolutely be wrong and I'm still working through this part, so absolutely feel free to give your own interpretation in replies/rbs.

So! I've cracked my own understanding of shifting. What do I do with this information?

...I don't know!

I feel as though I've cracked the lament configuration and all it did was spit out confetti and a $5 coupon for little ceasers. I have been given the key to unlocking the universe and now need to find the door. I've been given a cryptic message from a loved one just as they die. I have solved one piece of the puzzle, but I'm missing the other half. I have. No clue how to translate this in my journey. It's both eye opening and exhilarating but also anti climactic. I've climbed a mountain, just to find a brick wall upon my descent. A map that leads to treasure, yet has no directory.

But, progress is made in chunks. And I'm very pleased with holding the key. Now I just need to create the door.

[pome-seed]

The Soldier's Keeper ★ 29

Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Doctor!Reader

Summary: You should have known. Bucky should have known. Today was supposed to be simple. It was supposed to be beautiful. There was no world you could live in that was peaceful.

Word Count: 3.0k

Warnings: Canon- typical violence. Car Accident. Blood. Guns. Gunshots. Description of Wounds. Loss. Everything. (I'm so sorry.)

Authors Note: Sorry. Love you guys! Let me know your favorite scene from the series so far! I'd love to know. ALSO, if you want to be apart of the taglist, let me know :)

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

You never should have gone alone.

You knew better, but you wanted to be independent. You wanted to show him you could exist on your own, even after your injury. But you were wrong. 

You were wrong, and now it was all over.

Bucky and you had finally purchased walkie-talkies. You’d made a plan to stash them in familiar, but hidden, places in the city. So if you ever got separated again, you would have a way to contact each other, and set up a meeting place. 

You had also been putting together go bags with supplies to stash. Clothes, bandages, toiletries, a map of the city, and cash. Everything you’d need if you were stranded. Bucky wanted to be prepared for anything. He wanted to know that if you had a repeat of the last time, you would be safe.

Bucky helped you stagger down the last few steps to the apartment landing. “You made it all the way on your own, you’re getting better.” 

“And I only had to use you as a crutch for half of it. Watch out, soon I’ll be running marathons.” You chuckled, sticking your hand out for one of the duffels. Bucky was hesitant to hand it over. 

He looked at the dark handle in his palm, then glanced up at you. “Are you sure?”

“I have to be able to survive on my own, Bucky.” You told him, wiggling your fingers at him. “If I can’t walk the street alone, what's the point? I might as well live upstairs as your pet.”

He frowned, stepping closer. “You’re not a pet.”

“I know. But I have to prove it.”

“You don’t have anything to prove.”

“I do, to myself.” You smiled, wrapping your fingers around a free space on the handles. “So gimme. Let me do this. Plus, we can talk through the radios the entire time.”

Bucky huffed, shaking his head at you as he handed the bag over. You circled the handles around your shoulder and pulled out the walkie-talkie. “Doctor to soldier, do you read me? Over.” You spoke into the mic. You could hear its other half mumble in Bucky’s bag.

He rolled his eyes, pulling the radio out. “I’m not talking like that.”

“That’s going to make it really awkward for me, over.” you pressed the button. You snickered at the wrinkle between his brows. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Bucky huffed, walking with you out of the building. You walked side by side to the intersection, then stopped. “Radio me if your leg starts to hurt, I’ll come meet you.”

“I will. I’ll be fine.” You smiled. “See you for dinner,” you turned on your heel and started walking down the street. You could feel Bucky staring at you, his gaze heavy and pressing into your back. But you refused to look back. 

If you were going to have to live the rest of your life like this, on the run, you wanted to feel like you could be independent. You wanted to prove to yourself that you weren't helpless. You were in control. You could and would survive. You would make a life you were proud of and you would move forward. And you knew you could do it.

Or at least, you thought you could. 

You were wrong. 

And god, did you wish you would have just turned around.

You stashed the bag first. You buried it behind a garden maintenance shed in a nearby public park. It was dirty, and suspicious, but you buried it deep. You made sure to bury a daffodil plant from nearby over the drop site, to mark the bag.

You radioed your progress to Bucky, then made your way to the agreed on location for the walkie. 

It had been a long time since you took a walk on your own, feeling the sun on your skin and the peace of chirping birds. You used to love going on walks. You remembered the countryside inn you sayed in all those months ago, and how beautiful the trees were there.

The drop site for the radio was a few blocks from your regular street market. In the alley behind the Irish pub. There was a large graffitied Romanian word, one you didn’t recognize. You scraped along the edges of a loose brick in the center of the letter O. Once you finally tugged it free, you radioed to Bucky one last time.

“I’m dropping the walkie now, over.” You released the button, waiting for a response.

“I’m almost finished stashing the bag, I’ll see you back at the apartment.” Bucky had taken the longer route, pitying you and your injured leg. The whole intention of splitting up in the first place was to make the process faster for you both. 

You’d stash the bags, stash the radios, then meet at the apartment for a long afternoon of dinner and reading. Like any other day.

“Oh come on, you’re not gonna say it even once?” You chuckled, trying to egg him into using stupid radio lingo. 

“Nope.”

“Fine, see you at home.” You snickered, then slotted the radio into the hole. You fitted the brick back in place.

As you stepped back onto the street, you felt proud. You felt more secure with yourself. You were able to do this on your own, without Bucky’s steadying hands or pitying gaze. You did it. And even though you felt a bit childish praising yourself like that, you knew you were allowed to feel proud.

You’d overcome so much, experienced so much. You deserved a moment to be proud of yourself.

Your leg was starting to ache the further down the block you walked, the throb travelling up to your hip. You were fine though, you knew the route back to the apartment and you could drag your leg there. Worst comes to worst, you would wait at the bottom of the stares for Bucky and ask for his help getting upstairs. 

You crossed the street, your stomach rumbled. You were excited for dinner. You always ate something cheap and easy, but Bucky was able to get a stake from the butcher shop down the street. He’d been running deliveries for them for a while now, and sometimes it came with perks.

Your thoughts about getting home, and dinner, were interrupted by a buzzing sound swirling around you. 

At first you thought it must have been a fly, so you batted your hands around your head. But it continued. You glanced around, at the people walking past you, going on about their lives.

You guessed it must have been someone's phone. No one was close enough for you to hear their notifications.

Your brows crinkled in confusion. The buzzing got louder. Something flickered above you. You glanced up. 

A small, hovering machine flew around the corner. A little red light blinked. 

Your stomach dropped to your feet. 

No.

No.

You stumbled back, walking right into a man digging through his bag. He grumbled something at you in Romanian. “Sorry-” you blurted, panic rising in your chest as your gaze darted around the street. Men, women, children. Families. Couples.

But which of them was it? Who was controlling that thing?

Who was following you?

The man in the ball cap? The man dressed in all black up the street? Or was it the woman leaning against the coffee shop wall behind you, whispering quietly into your phone. It could be anyone. It could be no one. Who was it?

The machine buzzed from above, following your every step. 

Oh god.

The radio. You needed to get back to the radio before Bucky stashed it. 

You stumbled between a couple holding hands as you frantically paced up the street. You didn’t waste time apologizing. Sweat gathered in your palms. You just had to get to the radio. You needed to find sanctuary to gather your thoughts because it's fine. This didn’t have to mean anything. The machine might not even be what you think.

But the panic swelled and ached, constricting on your lungs as your mind fed you all the worst case scenarios. Because what was your life if not a whirlwind of worst case scenarios?

 The intersection ahead was busy with cars and taxis beeping at one another. Men shouted angrily from their windows. Children skipped along the sidewalk. You didn’t have time to wait for the light. You looked both ways and waited for an opening. You staggered off the curb with a wince, a pinching ache travelling up your thigh. 

You powered through, jogging across the first lane. The alley wasn’t too far away, you hadn’t made it far. You just needed to-

You heard a woman from behind you shriek. 

An engine roared. You saw a flash of red. You saw knuckles against a steering wheel. 

Your body slammed over the hood with a sickening thud. You cried out, rolling over metal. Glass fractured beneath the force of your limbs. Your skull cracked against the pavement, your body rolling a few feet away.

The world was chaos above you. People shouted and screamed for help, for the police.

You couldn’t move. Your limbs splayed out on the road. Something warm trickled down your temple. Something cold burned against your cheek, the same feeling spiking along your right leg. 

You let out a strangled breath, your cheek pressed to the ground. You tasted blood.

Leather boots stepped into your hazy line of sight. “Îmi pare atât de rău!” A high pitched male voice shouted down to you. “E în regulă! Ajutorul vine, vă voi ajuta.”

I'm so sorry! It's okay! Help is coming, I will help you.

The words sounded muffled to your ears, hovering and dissipating above you. Large hangs pushed you onto your back. You cried out, feeling something pinch in your pelvis. A silhouette hovered above you, scooping beneath your arms. You tried to squirm, your foggy mind stalling, but catching on the one thought you still had.

Run.

“Trebuie să o duc la spital!”

I have to take you to the hospital!

Bile rose in your throat as your mangled body was dragged along the bloodied pavement. A car door opened. You were being laid out across the backseat. Cold tears stained your heated cheeks. 

Doors slammed shut. You heard the engine rev. More voices spoke above you. 

No end to this would be in your favor. No police. No hospital. No witnesses.

“N-...” your throat closed around your attempt at words. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. You blinked, trying to clear your vision. Your head lolled to the side, watching the world move through the windshield. 

But then you saw it.

The man in the front seat pressed something in his ear canal, then spoke in a rushed tone. He glanced back at you from the rear view mirror.

You choked on a muted sob, your heavy hands smacking against the door above your head. The man in front shouted something at you. You groaned, crawling onto your back. You yanked the handle, but the door stayed shut. You smacked your hand against the door until your fingers found the lock. 

The driver slammed on the breaks, shouting back at you. You blinked, your vision clearing enough to finally see the man’s red face. You swung your open palms at the man, your nails catching on his skin. You snarled, shoving yourself forward to reach for him as he jerked back.

“Fu-Fuck!” you slurred, scratching his cornea. He shouted, his foot slipping off the break. You took your chance and yanked open the door.

You toppled out and climbed up on gangly limbs. You stumbled forward, running awkwardly as blood dripped down your leg. Civilians gasped as you shouldered through them, your bloody fingers sliding across walls to keep yourself up.

You took a break halfway up the street to throw up on the sidewalk, your head pulsing and aching. You could barely make sense of your movements, you just knew you had to get to that radio.

You had to move. 

Shouts cried out from behind you, you looked back over your shoulder to see the man clutching his face, waving something at you. Your stomach rolled as you realized what it was. So much for no witnesses. 

A bullet sparked against a lamp pole beside you, making you jump back in shock. “Shit-” you heaved. A group of teenagers shrieked and scattered from in front of you. A young boy shoved past you, knocking you into the nearest wall. 

You shakily tried to right yourself. It was just a second, but it was long enough.

A sharp, burning, screaming pain ripped through your shoulder. you sobbed, catching yourself on the wall again. Your trembling fingers pressed to the steadily soaking spot below your collarbone. 

You staggered forward, sliding your feet one after another until You resembled walking. You dove behind a group of tourists, frozen in the street, using them for cover. 

When you finally crashed into the alleyway, you could barely see straight. Your skinned palms dragged along the wall until you found the loose piece. You yanked the brick from the wall. Your bloody fingers dug out the radio until you had it tight in your hand. 

“Bucky-?” you slurred into the mic. “Bucky please-” you tried not to gag as blood slid down your side. You stumbled further into the alley. Mindlessly, you wrapped a hand around the cold metal hinges of the nearest fire escape. “Bucky-”

“Y/n?” His familiar voice cracking through the radio made you sob in relief. “Y/n? What’s happening?” He called to you as you slowly dragged your body onto the fire escape. “Y/n-”

You slumped against the dirty brick wall, your eyes fluttering open and closed. “Bucky…” you whispered, your body draining of energy. 

“Y/n? What’s happening?”

“Bucky it happened- it- oh god- they're using drones,” you heaved, trying to wipe the sweat from your face but only smearing blood across your cheeks. “I’m- Bucky-” Nothing made sense to your frantic mind. Adrenaline pumped hot in your veins, but you were at a steady loss of blood. Everything felt cold.

“Y/n! Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?” His voice grew steadily in panic.

“I-I’m shot Buck- I-I think I’m shot,” you whispered, pressing your free hand to your steadily oozing wound. Your fingers dripped red. 

“What? Where are you? I’m coming, are you in the alley?” Bucky sounded like he was shouting, but he felt far away. You tried to keep your eyes open, staring at the bricks across the way.

“Don’t come…” you panted. Your fingers felt cold. “They’re coming, Buck.” You let your hand slide into your lap, letting blood drip down your arm. “I was wrong…” you whispered, fighting back tears. “I’m sorry…” your lip trembled between words. You should have listened. 

You shouldn’t have been so stupid.

“Sweetheart, listen to me, stay where you are-” Bucky shouted. “Put pressure on your wounds-”

“Bucky…” you dragged your lips against the radio, leaning your face into it. “Thank you.” You knew the man was close- much closer than Bucky. You knew it was really over this time. “Thank you, Bucky.” You wept. “Thank you for everything.”

“Y/n- stop it-” 

You pressed your shaky finger to the button, cutting him off. Shouts from down the street echoed. “They’re almost here. I’m- Bucky, I’m sorry.” You whispered. “I wanted- I really wanted…” Tears streamed freely down your bloody face. “Be careful. I-I know you’ll be good.” 

There was so much you wanted to say to him.

“Y/n, just shut up and try to stay awake,” he begged. You’d never heard his voice like that. You wished you could see him. You thought it was good you couldn’t.

You wouldn’t be able to do this if you saw him. 

You wouldn’t be able to say goodbye.

“Don’t be scared.” You told him, your voice growing weak. Your head felt light. You blinked back tears. “You’ll be much safer…on your own.” You heard a man’s rapid footsteps echo in the alley. Your eyes felt heavy.

“Y/n,” he paused, his voice gruff and begging. He was panicked. He was terrified.

He wasn’t gonna make it.

You smiled ruefully to yourself. “Thank you, Bucky. For everything.” You whispered, switching the radio off. Then, as you heard the man shout at you from below, you started smacking the plastic walkie-talkie into the brick wall beside you, again and again. Until it cracked and frayed, shattering in your hand.

You felt the metal frame of the fire escape shake. You let your eyes slide closed. 

You wished you would have gotten one more dinner with him.

Bucky hit the floor, his back sliding against the door. He heaved, his throat closing up on the need to gag. He stared down at his trembling hands. Blood caked beneath his fingertips. His chest constricted, his head filled with the sounds of your soft, quivering voice.

“Thank you Bucky. For everything.”

You were gone. You were really gone this time. 

He knew better. 

He should have said no. He should have gone with you. He should have known what would happen. They knew you were the weaker target. They knew they could use you. 

He guessed that any minute, a team of dozens would be storming the apartment. He guessed at any minute, the small world the two of you had built together, would come crashing down.

The home you’d both grown so familiar with. Shattered into fragments of a bloody memory.

The apartment that still smelled like you. 

He could still see your pajamas folded on the floor beside the bed. Your touch, your color, your life was painted and embedded into every inch of that room. But it didn’t matter. You weren’t coming back. Not this time. 

He was alone.

“Thank you Bucky. For everything.”

And it was all his fault.

A/N: I'm glad the last chapter gave you guys a bit of comfort before....this....and everything that follows. Love yall!! Comment, message, send anons, let me know your thoughts. Please be kind!

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