#but now I just want to cancel it every year

[esta-elavaris]

Have to add my own message of hope here. I was suicidal when I was 21 - to the point where I had a plan in place, and was very close to going through with it, but the one thing that kept me around was my brother. He was the one person in my life who I could never convince myself would be better off if I wasn't around. So the "deadline" I gave myself for doing it (there was 'logic' to that deadline but I don't want to share in case I influence anybody who is currently in a bad way) came and went, and I didn't do it. And I cursed myself for being a coward at the time.

I finished uni that year, I moved home, and I decided to give seeking medical help one last shot a couple of months later, after a decade of being ignored by doctors who were all adamant that I was too young to be depressed or anxious, and I just needed "more fresh air". Sitting in the waiting room for that doctor's appointment, I nearly walked out several times, because I felt so shitty and so hopeless and I could not take being brushed off one more time.

The appointment I had, with the doctor I got by chance, saved my life. That doctor saved my life. She took one look at me and put me on antidepressants that day, and scheduled me in for weekly appointments so she could essentially keep an eye on me and give me what therapy she could while I was on the waiting list for actual therapy. Every week, I went there, and every week she listened to me and encouraged me, and tracked my progress with the meds. These appointments went on for years. This woman did save my life. Only after two years of constant appointments and constant check-ins did she allow me to just go to med pick-ups rather than appointments, when she was sure the proper therapy was working and I was doing better.

One day, around that time, I was on the bus home after I met up with friends - I'd just gotten to a place where I was able to actually manage that somewhat frequently without cancelling every time (and my friends were so patient with me in that respect and never abandoned me after all the cancellations, which they would've been in their right to do). I remember looking out the window, seeing how pretty the sunset looked, after a day of shopping and nachos with pals, and realising I was actually happy to be alive. For the first time in years. I no longer wanted to die, and I no longer even just generally didn't want to be alive (which is different from actively wanting to die.)

My mental health isn't perfect now, at 28, but I'm an entirely different person to who I was back then - and I've been through worse things now than I'd been through back then. You do get worse before you get better, progress isn't linear, you don't feel the change even really happening while it does. But one day you will sit back and be so, so grateful for what you previously labelled "cowardice" in not going through with suicide. It will happen. You have good on its way to you that you can't even imagine right now.

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

[madamspellmans-met-tet]

🍷Illicit Affairs🍷┃ Ch. 3

Lilia Calderu x fem!reader

wc: ~ 3.2 k

summary: Lilia has a stressful day at work and wants nothing more than to enjoy a hot bubble bath—but she is interrupted.

*******************************************

All of Lilia’s pants had been in the washing this morning, leaving her with no other choice but to wear a pencil skirt that she didn’t dare bend over in for fear it might rip. The new concierge had been paying her enough attention today without the need for a spectacle. Who was she kidding? She would’ve laughed her pretty ass off if it would’ve happened. 

She drove home through the dense autumn fog after her shift and nearly ran into an unfortunately positioned trash can, but after a day of yelling at people to get their shit together because the hotel inspectors were bound to show up any day now as they did every year, she didn’t have an ounce of energy left to work herself up about it. Her scalp ached from a day of wearing her hair tightly pinned up, even now that she’d tugged it loose. 

In her driveway, she left the car without her parka but regretted it as soon as she'd stepped out. She was plucking the house keys from her bag when the front door opened. Alice came out with her hair curled and a tinge of scarlet on her lips that matched the ends of her fringe—a highly unusual sight. 

"Mh, where are you going?" Lilia sang. 

"Just Stephen's."

"Stephen." She weighed the name on her tongue. "He has a name. So it's serious."

"Well, we've had a few nice dates, and he's—he's a good guy, mamma, I promise. Even mom said so, and she—"

The house key dug into her palm as she clenched her fist around it. "Lorna has met him?"

“He was in the area, and—and you don’t like men.”

She huffed, blinking the ache away, swallowing, and nodded. While she might not have the same interest in men that Lorna did, she would have hoped Alice knew she would never mock her for dating one. Didn't she know that she loved her no matter what?

Alice sighed, a breath heavy with guilt. “Are you mad, mamma?”

“No.” She stepped closer and fixed Alice's lipstick with the edge of her red nail, holding her face between thumb and index finger. The smile didn't reach her eyes. “Just sad.”

Alice pulled her into a hug and squeezed tight, squishing her cheek against Lilia's as she'd done since she was a little girl. Lilia put her hand on the back of her head and felt the hurt in her chest melt away. Even when she drew away, Alice kept her arms looped around her neck, and Lilia put her hands on them, rubbing her thumbs in crescents. "You look beautiful, piccinia. Bellissima."

"Thanks." Alice smiled and let go of her. "I'm off now." She kissed Lilia's cheek. "Don't wait up for me."

She set about to leave, but Lilia stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "Wait. Have you heard from my docezza? She left so suddenly after the concert—"

"She cancelled band practice this week. Not sure what's going on, but I'll give her a call tomorrow."

Lilia took the information in, but it did nothing to quell her worries. Her mind went spinning with possibilities of what could've happened. "Va bene. Have fun, my love." 

"Bye, mamma."

She ran off with a wave, and Lilia looked after her for a moment before going inside. It was quiet. Her house was hardly ever quiet. Having Alice live with her again after the divorce had ensured it stayed that way, but now she was once again leaving the nest. When Alice had first left for college, it had thrown her into a midlife crisis that had led to her ripping the tapestry off the walls one night and then renovating the whole house. This time, she was developing a crush on the sinfully much younger best friend of her daughter.

She tossed everything aside—her bag, her coat, her shoes—and went to the bathroom to open the tap and draw herself a hot bath. Letting the water run, she headed for the bedroom to fetch her bathrobe, reading glasses, and the copy of Wicked Witch on her nightstand. While she was at it, she let her clothes pool at her feet and stood naked in front of the floor-length mirror. 

-> continue

[cy-cyborg]

Big vent about Centrelink and Australia’s welfare system ahead.

I’ve known for a long time how cold and uncaring Australia’s welfare system is, especially Centrelink, but I don’t think it really clicked until today.

Im on the disability support pension meaning the government acknowledges I can not work full time. A few years ago, I messed up on some forms and never declared to them that my partner and I were in a relationship. I had meant to, but had a moment and forgot to hand them in. By the time I realised my mistake it was years later. Just before Christmas I went in to fix it and to get help with the forms because I always panic when I do Centrelink forms, I always miss something or misunderstand, I always do something wrong, so this time I went in for help with it. My partner and my support worker came with me to help make sure I was understanding everything, and to make sure I remember what they told me, because I tend to forget more when stressed.

Because my partner is an immigrant and self employed but not earning much, the process actually ended up being a bit more complicated so we’ve had to go in to do the forms over multiple appointments with the last one being last Thursday.

I was informed that because I didn’t declare the relationship right away, I’ve been overpaid and I’ll have to give that overpay amount back because, fun fact, just being in a relationship is enough for them to cut your payments here - not being married, just in a relationship. I knew that though and was prepared for it. At the last appointment I was finally given an estimate of how much I need to pay back.

It’s over $20,000.

I’m not entirely sure how they got that number, I’m going to ask for a break down of it once the amount is confirmed, but you want to know what sucks? I was relieved to hear that amount. I was mentally prepared for it to be double or triple that, and it would have been if the worker at the office didn’t pull me up and inform me I’d misunderstood some of the questions (so yeah, going in for help was a good call). Thankfully, because the disability support pension is already below the poverty line even before the cuts they made, I don’t have to pay it back at once, they’ll take a percentage of my pension out every fortnight to pay it back. Unfortunately, because I’m already below the poverty line, reducing my pension even further means I can’t afford rent anymore, even in a place that is already way, WAY below the current rental market value, so I can’t really afford rent…anywhere. Not even in remote and regional areas (I checked). Not a single private rental in the country is low enough for us to afford now. The only ones that were close weren’t wheelchair accessible. The pension will also go down if my partner earns anything, and it limits his hours (though I don’t know how that’s supposed to work if he’s self employed since pay isn’t really based on hours like typical jobs, I’m going to ask about that at the next appointment). Thankfully we had already planned for that and we’re planning to move in with my mum, but that means basically being cut off from the internet since her place is very rural and signal doesn’t really reach their place consistently.

But the shittyness doesn’t end there, oh no.

Today, I woke up to the dreaded “you have a myGov message” text. Only to open it and for them to tell me that they’re cutting my whole disability pension, it was just canceled. No ifs or buts, it was just gone. A few days before rent and all my bills are due. What was the reason you ask? Because one of the fields (asking for my partner’s tax info) on the form wasn’t filled out… the form I got the Centrelink office to check over before handing it in, that was definitely filled in. I know it was. There wasn’t even any “we’re missing information, you have x amount of time to fix this or your payment will be cancelled” warning, it was just, you didn’t fill out this one field that could be easily fixed so your pension is canceled, and you have to pay us that $20,000 out of pocket now, bye!

Obviously rattled and confused, I went back to the office (which is only a few minutes from where I live) and asked what the hell happened, the lady who helped us last time even vouched for us and said she knows we filled that out and gave it to them, she was there, only for them to go into my file and realise the way the file had been scanned cut off part of the field, so the automated systems didn’t see it and auto-cancelled my whole pension over it. So we had to wait an additional half and hour for the office staff to argue with whoever was in charge of that decision, to let them fix it because as far as Centrelink was concerned the issue wasn’t negotiable. It did eventually get sorted, so I’m at least not loosing my pension and being forced to pay back the dept out of pocket.

My partner, before coming to Australia was in the US military, he describes his experience with them as being treated like “numbered cannon fodder” and his dealings with the VA as being treated like “a piece of dog shit on their shoes”. He fought with the Australian immigration department for years to be allowed to stay here, the department that openly and proudly discriminated against him and me for our disabilities, that insisted he jump through countless hoops for the most ridiculous of reasons to prove he “wouldn’t be a burden on the system”. But today he just sat in the car after all this and stared off into space, saying this is the worst treatment from a government agency he’s ever seen. They didn’t see us as people, we were numbers. That automated cancellation over an automated mistake would have put us on the street if my mother wasn’t in the picture and paying off $20,000 of dept out-of-pocket. And they just didn’t care. We made a mistake, yes, but it was a mistake that is in-line with the diagnostic criteria of one of my disabilities (forgetfulness from a brain injury) and we did everything we were supposed to do to make it right once I noticed. we fessed up and did what we needed to fix it, we got help from multiple staff members to ensure we did everything we were supposed to, but a machine made a mistake and nearly ruined our lives anyway.

Im not saying any of this to ask for money btw, I couldn’t accept it even if I wanted to because I’m pretty sure that would count as income too and would mean my pension would go down even more or just be cut (again) entirely. We’re safe and as stable as we could be in this situation for now. I just wanted to vent a bit and explain where I’ve been. I’m probably not going to be back online again for a bit while we get the rest of this situation sorted, and once I move to mum’s, so the messages and ask box are staying closed for a bit longer.

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

[sylvia-und-sybille]

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it’ll have when it’s done? 2.3K+ now, and whatever happens, that happens.

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP? 3 days.

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone? AU location (starts as) and aged-up characters.

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV? OTP only. Even as 3rd person's point of view there's little of point of view at all (as thoughts or just about a person alone.)

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP? OTP talk & do things together.

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar? It can happen in 0.001% of cases (if, then fanfictions only.)

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it’s done? Posted, printed, published, etc? Posted only.

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Romance, as it's about a lot of love (as in every fanfiction about them.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Humour. Unfortunately, no funny moments.

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing? So (for years.) If exaggerate, the answer is, so what? So to be it. | Whenever possible, I try to find other way to glue parts of looong sentences and not to break them into shorter ones. The writer of the original version had looong sentences as well and paragraphs can seem almost endless in many cases.

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? EVERY SINGLE of my fanfictions & original stories has happy end (unless past when I wanted to write about harm done to or defeat of a bad or unpleasant character.) In the case of latest WIP fanfiction: deep sadness of both, character 2: wish to cry before relief, no harm.

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it? They would look forward to a plot twist (mostly character 2, as character 1 had an idea.)

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be? Rainbow, as they deserve.

🍩 [Donut] What’s the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What’s the best thing? No food or drinks are mentioned (yet?)

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP? No, and I almost don't know people in real life. Yes, I'm so called "live under a rock."

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence. At first, the two are icebergs, but very, very soon, nothing is under water . . . (They talk about character 1 as having an iceberg, so . . .) . . . positive plot twist, philosophical discussion, something else unexpected (positive again.) (Note: something else is before plot twist, though. | I've had to search for answers to at least understand how such description can be possible.)

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? What does it mean even? If as not accepted, one of important parts is gender non-conformity. Those who are against girls & women who don't look feminine can be highly displeased. BUT what can I say, the version the fanfiction is based on has scenes with character 2 in man's shirt. So yes, haters can hate as long as they want.

Random WIP Ask Game

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it'll have when it's done?

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP?

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone?

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV?

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar?

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it's done? Posted, printed, published, etc?

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing?

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP?

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it?

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be?

🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing?

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP?

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for?

[steph-anie723]

any Hamilton hot takes you wanna get off ur chest??

i don’t have any hot takes atm but since that you mentioned getting stuff of my chest I wanna rant about something 🙁🙁🙁☝️☝️

stupid people always mentioning The Reynolds Pamphlet and Lams on Hamliza posts,, yes it’s a recurring issue yes I’ve ranted about it multiple times but ITS DONE SO MUCH???

If I see “but.. he cheated on her!!” ONE MORE TIME I’m going to slam my head into a telephone pole!!!People seem to ignore ALL of Hamliza’s years spent together— trying to deem their relationship as abusive or toxic, yes, the Pamphlet IS important in their story, yes, the Pamphlet IS a major turning point in the musical, however we shouldn’t subject their relationship BASED OFF this one singular event, completely diminishing all the established love they CLEARLY have for each other; Eliza forgave Alex,,, not to mention her dedicating 50 years of her life into post his deathtelling her, her husband’s, and everyone else’s stories. If that’s not love I don’t know what it is— and i feel like in a way if you base their relationship JUST on the Pamphlet it’s like disregarding all the work Eliza had done after Alexander died.

there’s also Lams, I fw Lams don’t get me wrong— but a lot of people definitely think theyre confirmed in love and married or smth that they have to shove it in everyone’s faces about “the letters!!” and all that, trying to disregard the relation of Alex and Eliza

I’m sorry but Alex and Eliza ALSO had letters?? Now my life gets better every letter that you write me???also they were MARRIED?? if you want to use Lams letters as a point to ignore Hamliza how about you can go take those letters shove it down your throat and try to shit out a better counterpoint thanks /j /j /j don’t cancel me!! 😭😭🙁

however I don’t really see this on this app,, mostly on YouTube and Pinterest (since that’s kinda my main app I post on) so i see it a lot in comment sections, and yes I know the people who comment on there are usually younger and more immature than us so there’s also that to take into consideration

[chukys-mouthguard]

Memories Missed

day 3 of the 2024 NHL advent calendar 🎄

1.1k words

genre -> angst

featuring -> cam york x female reader

summary -> when a snow storm hits, cam can’t find a way to make it in time for christmas

note -> it’s cam’s birthday so i had to get this done and posted in honor of his special day 🥳

Quickly darting around the kitchen, you were making sure everything was prepped for Christmas dinner. It was the first year you’d opted to host your family, along with Cam’s, and you were nervous to say the least.

Why you chose to cook ninety percent of the dishes you didn’t understand, but somehow you managed to pull it off. Your parents had arrived earlier than the other guests, so your mom could help in the kitchen and your dad could watch football.

“Anything else you need right now?”

Scanning the kitchen counters then checking the timer on the stove, you shook your head as you sighed.

“Nope, I think we did it.”

A soft smile crept across your lips as you felt relieved, now you could finally sit down and relax before guests started to trickle in.

“Oh, it’s Cam, I’ll be right back!”

You jumped up with a smile as you excused yourself to the front room of the house to take his call.

“Hi baby! You should smell all the food I’ve been cooking, it all turned out so good! And the house looks beautiful, I’m happy you convinced me to host. It’s gonna be amazing.”

He softly chuckled before he let out a sigh, immediately erasing the smile that was plastered on your face.

“That’s fantastic baby, I knew you could pull it off. But, there’s a problem.”

You felt your heart sink, just as things were going according to plan they were about to come crashing down.

“We can’t fly out, we are stuck as of right now. No timeline for when we’d be cleared to get out of here.”

The winter weather had picked up, but you’d never once thought about the possibility of Cam not making it home in time for Christmas. Thankfully you hadn’t done your makeup yet because the tears that began streaming down your cheeks certainly would’ve ruined it.

“You’re joking…Cam, your whole family is coming! My whole family is coming, my parents are here. What are we supposed to do?”

“Well you’re not going to cancel if that’s what you’re thinking!”

His tone was a bit sarcastic as he spat back at you, his frustrations with the delay obvious as he normally wasn’t one to argue.

“No of course not, but I’ve been looking forward to this for over a month Cam! Us hosting everyone here, and the memories we’d make in our new house. It was supposed to be special and you’re not even going to be here for it!”

“What do you suggest I do babe? I can’t make the snow stop, I can’t rent a car and drive it would be more than a day until I’m home if I did that. I’m sorry okay? You think I’m happy about this? Missing getting to share this day with your family and mine all in one place? But there’s nothing I can do, I’m sorry.”

You let out a sigh as you tried to hold back any things you might spit out of anger. The last you wanted was to have an argument with Cam before he’d be getting on a plane in this weather.

“Just, get home safe. I’ll see you when I see you.”

-

The dinner had gone off without a hitch, everyone being understanding of Cam missing out though you were still frustrated by it. It was one of the aspects of his job you hated. Road trips that turned into longer ones because of shitty weather, Cam missing out on birthdays and holidays. Missing out on so many memories that the two of you could share.

Every time your phone lit up it was yet another text about a delay. Eventually you’d stopped checking, not wanting to upset yourself even further. Rather trying to enjoy everyone opening their gifts and the happiness that was filling your home.

As the night had come to an end, you willingly accepted the help of both your mom and Cam’s to get everything mostly cleaned up before you headed off to bed.

“You know honey, he didn’t intentionally do it. Just remember that. He wanted to be here tonight.”

As you wiped down the counter you softly sighed, keeping your thoughts to yourself as you knew she was only trying to help ease the situation. Though there was nothing that could change how you felt, regardless if Cam missing Christmas was out of his control or not.

You’d said goodbye to both sets of parents before changing into your set of Christmas pajamas to which Cam had a matching pair, then curled up on the couch as you watched the twenty-four hour marathon of A Christmas Story; Cam’s favorite Christmas Day activity.

The sound of the tv had muffled the noise of the front door unlocking and kept you in your slumber as Cam made his way into the house to find you.

Fast asleep on the couch, Christmas pajamas adorning your frame as you curled up with a blanket. Cam smiled to himself as he looked from you to the beautifully decorated tree, presents still filling up the space beneath it as you’d left all of your gifts to open with him.

Not wanting to wake you just yet, he headed into the kitchen to find a note on the counter.

“Cam, there’s a plate of all your favorites in the microwave. I made sure to save you lots of cookies as well, but no cookies before dinner! Merry Christmas Cam. Love y/n.”

Cam laughed as he was mid bite of a cookie by the time he’d read your order of no cookies before dinner, you knew him too well.

He felt awful for missing the holiday and all of the effort you’d put into it. Not getting to see your families come together in your new home that you both worked so hard for, it made him wish sometimes that he didn’t have a career that took him out on crazy long roadtrips. Missing countless birthdays, holidays, or even just losing out on time with you and family. But he also knew that his career was how he was able to get this house with you, to have the tree overflowing with gifts for you and your families. And while he knew you would get over being upset with him, he knew you had every right to be. Sure you signed up for this, but it didn’t make it any easier. You’re human, you have feelings. And he knew how much you were looking forward to this day, but he dropped the ball.

“Baby…y/n, baby. I’m home. Merry Christmas.”

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Love under the fireworks || NYE Special ✨

PAIRING || Fiancé! Tony Stark x Fiancée! Female! Reader

WORDCOUNT || 6.6K

SUMMARY || You’re spending your last night together for a while, as Tony will be leaving for an extended, undercover mission, and you’ll be busy with near back-to-back surgeries for the foreseeable future. This means you and Tony will make this New Year’s Eve one for the memory books, giving you some special memories to look back on when you’re apart.

RATING || Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS || Former sugar daddy/-baby relationship, established relationship, explicit sexual content, light angst (tearful goodbyes).

SMUT || Teasing - Edging - Use of a remote control vibrator - Referenced exhibitionism - Oral (F receiving) - ass worship - Daddy kink - marking - spanking - light anal play - fingering - multiple orgasms - dirty talk - hair pulling - back scratches - pregnancy kink - breeding kink - lovemaking - nipple play - unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!) - cream pie - cockwarming - size kink - innocence kink - lactation kink - marking

A/N || This can be read as a standalone or a follow-up to Our Christmas. Thank you all for the support and love I received from you all last year, and I'm looking forward to sharing more stories with you all this upcoming year! I want to thank @ccbsrmsf1 for everything you do for me. From your support, love, and proofreading to your listening to everything I go through, I'm deeply thankful for it all. I love you, bestie! 🤍

EVENTS @fandombingo || Walking around with a vibrator remote-controlled by someone else @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || Fireflies @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || "Just trust me." @fandom-free-bingo Frosty || Dick pic @fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || 'People fall in love in mysterious ways'

@fandom-free-bingo Maritime May || Secret vibrator + "You're not hungry?" @fandom-free-bingo Pride || Gagging + Spanking @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Exhibitionist + Ass worship @fictionaldelightsbingo Under The Sea || First kiss of the year @julybreakbingo Post-JBB || "I need your help."

@seasonaldelightsbingo Sweater Season || Praising someone who isn't used to good things @slumberpartybingo Ultimate Sleepover || Would you rather... wear a sex toy in public OR in private @tonystarkbingo #8005 || Regrets

All the graphics in this post are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Sugar Daddy! Tony Stark

“Are you ready to see the dress?” Your voice rises in excitement as you’re going to show your fiancé the black off-shoulder dress he bought not too long ago. Before now, he has not seen it on you because you wanted to keep it a surprise until tonight, though you’re sure he will not be disappointed when it is revealed. He has the best taste in clothes and accessories, and even though you’re more than capable of buying those things yourself, he still likes to gift you things now and again, just like when you were still his sugar baby.

A chuckle is audible before his answer floats through the air, impatience evident in how he answers that he ‘was born ready’ so quickly. Shortly after, your large walk-in closet door creaks open to reveal Tony in an all-black, tight suit with red-tinted glasses and his hair looking perfectly messy. Tonight, he looks like sex-on-legs, and you can’t wait to unwrap him like a present after the dinner he is treating you to. Every ridge and muscle of his perfect body is on display, and you can’t help but bite your bottom lip when your gaze is drawn to his bulge, displayed nicely between his thick thighs.

“Fuck-” he gasps as his lust-filled gaze takes his time to look all over your body. From the way the dress brushes the floor around your heels to the split that runs to the middle of your thigh and from the curves of your body to the way that your breasts are looking elegantly lifted, he cannot get enough of the sight. The dress is sinfully sexy without giving too much away, 

“Are you sure we don’t have to cancel dinner? I’d do it without a second thought,” he whispers between the small kisses he leaves on your shoulder and neck, his hands on your waist as he stands behind you. You shake your head with a small smile, even though the thought is very appealing. The only thing that keeps you from agreeing is that tonight will be your last night together for a few months. Tony will leave for an undercover mission tomorrow, and you’re looking forward to having a beautiful dinner with him before he has to go.

“Let’s go to dinner tonight, Tony, and end the night by making love. I think we both would like to make it a night never to forget, especially with you leaving tomorrow.” Tony closes his eyes as he sighs softly against your skin, knowing you’re right about his mission. He has fought hard not to go, but in the end, it wasn’t enough as he still has to go, but he was able to push it off enough so he would be able to spend New Year’s Eve with you, and your first kiss of the year will be one of passion and memories, as you’ll make love under the fireworks.

As he breathes a small sigh against your skin, he can hide his smile as he thinks about what he has planned for you tonight - if you accept his offer. With one more soft kiss against his skin, he steps back before grabbing a small velvet pouch out of the pocket of the pants he’s wearing - inside lying something that will make the evening unforgettable.

“What do you think of making the night a little… spicier?” Tony asks as he meets your gaze in the mirror, your breath hitching slightly at his words. Based on the smirk he’s now portraying, you get a hunch about what the following words will be out of his mouth. If you’re thinking about the correct idea, you will be in for it, as you always love to experiment outside the bedroom, too.

“Hmm, you know I love some spice, Handsome. Let’s do it,” you say with a sultry wink, which sets his cheeks on fire as you turn around, his grip on the little bag quickly loosening as you take it from him. He’s left with rapidly tightening pants as you head to the bedroom to put in the little remote-controlled vibrator that’s inside the bag. It doesn’t take long for it to be comfortably nestled inside your warmth, your core already dripping at the thought of Tony controlling you in such a way.

As soon as you’re back, Tony is ready to go, and with every step you make, you’re highly aware that you’re walking around with a vibrator remote-controlled by someone else, and it sets your insides on fire in the best way possible. Downstairs, Happy is already waiting to drive you both to the restaurant and just as you’re about to greet him with a kiss on the cheek, Tony presses the button on the remote, making the bright pink toy come to life inside enough to make your cheeks burn.

“Are- are you okay?” Happy asks when you flinch, worry settling on his face as he inspects you. While he does, Tony quickly turns his face to try and hide a smile, though he’s not very successful at it. However, before you know it, the vibrating sensation is gone, and you’re left a little disappointed at the feeling it leaves you with - you want more of the vibrations and feelings it has to offer you.

“I’m fine, Happy. Thank you,” you smile before getting in the car, followed by Tony, wearing a satisfied smirk on his stunning features. As soon as the door falls shut, you immediately turn to your fiancé with a glare. Still, instead of saying anything, he leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth, once again leaving you wanting more, and you have a feeling that you’re going to feel this way more often than not tonight.

During the car ride, Tony has a gentle grip with his thick, strong fingers on your thigh while the other one clutches the remote to bring the secret vibrator inside you. A soft gasp is audible, and Tony smirks as he looks at you to see your reaction. The entire time, Happy is focused on the road ahead of you, and you’re grateful he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t let it show if he does. Either way, you’re positive that it will be a long night.

Without warning, the vibration disappears inside you, and you’re left with a thoroughly soaked pair of panties and a wanting pussy that cannot get enough of the stimulation the man beside you can bring you. The rest of the car ride goes off without a hitch, as Tony and Happy are talking amongst themselves as you clutch your thighs together, trying to get your mind off the toy inside you.

“Here’s our stop. Thank you for the ride, Happy - I’ll let you know when we’re done with dinner,” Tony says very matter-of-factly, and you hum in response as you’re not sure you can trust everything that might come out of your mouth now. Then, as soon as you’re out of the car, you can feel your legs giving out a little, making you hold onto Tony a little tighter.

“I- I need your help staying upright, I think,” you admit shyly, and Tony smiles proudly as he ensures you’re stable by his side before leading you into the restaurant. The hostess leads you to a table that gives you the ultimate view over Manhattan as the floor-to-ceiling windows offer a sight you’ll never get used to. You can spend hours watching the city even after being with Tony for years and moving into his penthouse.

Then, as you’re seated, Tony squeezes your hands softly. The gesture makes the butterflies in your stomach go wild as you look into his dark brown eyes, which look back at you with nothing short of pure love and admiration.

“In the past years, I’ve been asked often if I have any regrets, but I’ve always told them no until now. And it’s not falling in love with you or taking you here because you’re the best thing that ever could have happened to me, Sugar. As I’ve said before, I wouldn’t be where I am today without you, and I stand by that. The only thing I do regret is not asking you to marry me sooner. From the moment you and I met, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and I wish I had asked you to be my wife sooner,” he tells you, bringing tears to your eyes as he does.

“When I grew up, my mom always told me that people fall in love in mysterious ways, and it took me meeting you to understand what she meant by that. You’ve shown me what true love is, and I’m happy to be spending this last night together with you. I will miss you so much when I’m gone for my mission, but I promise I will not leave you without saying a proper goodbye. And a dick pic or two.”

His face splits in a large grin as he says those last words, showing you both sides of the man you fell for. He can be the sweetest man you’ve ever met but is also a massive joker when moments call for it. It makes him perfect in your eyes, and you can’t imagine him being any other way. It doesn’t take long for one of the waiters to bring you a glass of the finest champagne they offer and take your food order for the night, and you’ve opted to go for your favorite seafood pasta to end the year off on a high note.

“Cheers to being in love,” you say as you raise your glass, and Tony approves with a hum and a smile before clinking his glass against yours and taking a sip of the golden, bubbly liquid. 

It isn’t until you’re about to take the first bite of the pasta you ordered that Tony suddenly turns the vibrator inside you back on, and a surprised noise escapes your lips before you put your hand over your mouth to cover it up. As you look at him with squinted eyes, he smiles back at you with a bright smile that lets you know he’s enjoying every second of the teasing.

“What’s wrong? You’re not hungry?” Tony’s brow quirked up as the question hung between you two, unable to be answered. He turns the power up a notch, quickly followed by another. While one hand is still over your mouth, the other is gripping your thigh for dear life as your climax is quickly building, but just before it can push you over the edge, it stops. Again. Deep down inside, you know it will be worth every second when you two get back to the penthouse, and you can finally have the pleasure you’re so deeply desiring.

The entire time this is going on, there are people around you eating and enjoying their dinner, too, which primarily feeds the exhibitionist side of your fiancé. Still, you’re happy to indulge him in moments like this. Because as much as he does for you - he’s more than willing to go to the moon and back for you if that’s what you’re asking of him -you’re happy to do just as much for him and his pleasure. There hasn’t been anything you haven’t been willing to do for him, and tonight is no different.

“You don’t know the half of it,” you say with a small smile as you eye your pasta, the smell of it making your mouth water. Thankfully, Tony happily lets you finish your pasta with only a few moments when he puts the vibrator on the lowest setting, but not high enough for you to be unable to enjoy your food. As soon as you’re both finished eating, you’re making your way to Happy as he is waiting by the car outside, excited to go back to your shared penthouse and finally relieve the tension that has been building between you both for the entire evening.

Just before you and Tony arrive at the penthouse, he gets a text from Natasha telling him everything is ready for their night and to ‘’not have too much fun together ;)” which makes him chuckle as the elevator takes you two up to the penthouse. Inside, there’s a trail of bright red rose petals that lead to the bedroom, accompanied by candles and fairy lights everywhere, making the penthouse look like it’s decorated with fireflies. The bathroom is also set up for you both to enjoy after your night of passion, and all you have to do is let go of every thought you have and let Tony take the lead for the rest of the night.

“Welcome home, Sugar,” Tony whispers in your ear as the elevator doors open, and you see everything your best friend has arranged for you. His fingers dig into your hips as he leads you into the hallway over the path of rose petals, and he can’t stop smiling as you’re taking in everything. Your eyes are pulled from one thing right to the next, and before you know it, you’re in the bedroom. Tony slowly loses his patience as he tries to stop himself from ripping every last bit of fabric off your body.

“God, I can’t fucking wait to see how much you’re dripping for me, Sugar. I’ve prepared your pretty little pussy very well for me, and I will have a feast soon,” he says as he lets your dress fall to the floor, his lips placing soft kisses on your neck and shoulder. Your head falls to the side as an almost automatic response to his lips on you, and you’re looking forward to everything he’s going to give you. 

“Now, get on your hands and knees on the bed so Daddy can have his dessert,” he growls in your ear, his fingers gliding over the bitemark he left a few days ago. While it’s mostly faded, he can still see some of the indents his teeth left as a proud smile lies on his lips. You’re looking forward to getting more of his marks on your body - and putting some on him, too.

He doesn’t waste any time by unhooking or pulling down any of your lingerie, instead choosing to rip it off and replace it later, as he couldn’t care less about that. However, he does instruct you to keep the vibrator in for now, as he’s planning to put it to some good use as he finally gets to taste you and see how wet he has gotten you from the anticipation of this moment. And he’s not disappointed in the slightest.

The moment he sees you on your hands and knees - your ass positioned as high as possible with your legs slightly spread - he gets the perfect view of the bright pink toy settled neatly in your dripping folds, as well as the way your ass looks like the juiciest peach he’s ever seen. He intends to have a lot of fun with you tonight. An appreciative groan rumbles from his chest as he quickly gets undressed as well, and you hear the unmistakable splat of his thick, long cock against his stomach as the precum is already making a mess of him.

Your eyes are closed in anticipation of what’s coming, but you’re not even close to expecting what Tony does next as you feel a large hand coming down on your ass, the smacking sound echoing through your penthouse. It’s quickly followed on the other cheek as well, and you’re clenching the toy inside you as the pleasurable burn of the spanks settles.

“Looking so beautiful for me, you’re such a fucking beauty,” Tony says as his hands soothe the warmed flesh of your ass, taking his time to get reacquainted with them again. While he always loves marking your ass, he’s now going to make an effort to add in some ass worship, too, as every inch of you deserves to be worshipped. Your body instinctively pushes back into his touch, seeking out more as you enjoy the attention you’re getting from him. As you feel one of his hands leave your skin, you’re left with a bit of disappointment, but it doesn’t last long as you suddenly feel the vibrations return, and this time, Tony isn’t planning on slowing down anytime soon.

“D-Daddy,” you exclaim as the pleasure immediately builds again, your arousal dripping off the toy and onto the sheets you’re positioned on. As your fiancé takes his place behind you on the mattress, he leans in to place a few kisses on the reddened skin where he can see his handprints, his fingers gathering some of the arousal and spreading it over your puckered hole, earning a surprised gasp.

“It’s okay, Sugar. Just trust me, okay? I’m not going to do anything you can’t handle,” he reassures you as he gently works his thumb over the tight muscle. As soon as the words settle into your fuzzy mind, he can feel you relax underneath him, as you trust him completely. The entire time he does this, your mind drifts to this one memory of you two where you’re sucking him so deep and demanding that you’re gagging around his length, and it only adds to your arousal.

“God, I can’t wait to get a taste of this pussy,” Tony whispers before he gently presses the tip of his thumb into your tight ass, a gasp leaving your lips as your brows furrow, though it immediately sends you over the edge, too. Combined with the vibrator that’s nestled inside and happily buzzing away and the way he built your climax earlier in the evening, it took minimal effort for you to fall over the edge of pleasure for the first time tonight.

“That is, you’re doing so well for me, Sugar. Such beautiful girl when you cum for Daddy,” Tony praises you through it, your entire body shaking as you can’t stop moaning and cumming around the toy. Just as it’s to border on overstimulation, he pulls the vibrator out of you and throws it on the bed to replace it with his thick fingers, quickly pulling your second orgasm from you as well.

“Fuck- Look at you cumming for Daddy like a good girl! That’s it, ride my fingers like the little slut you are!” Your hips move back and forth on his fingers to get as much pleasure as you can, your body moving in a sloppy rhythm as you’re being worked through cumming so soon, one after the other. When you’ve worked through your high, Tony pulls his fingers out of you before leaning over you and letting you lick them clean, allowing you to taste your arousal.

“Hmm.” The soft hum is audible as you clean his fingers, happy to have something in your mouth. When you’re done, Tony praises you more before helping you to lie down on your back and your head on the pillows, and he reaches to put a pillow beneath your hips, too. When you’ve found your position, he gets comfortable on his stomach, his achingly hard cock trapped between his sheets and his stomach as he’s taking his rightful place between your thighs.

“Ready?” he asks, and you nod before letting your fingers glide into his hair and guiding him to your willing pussy. You can feel his hot breath on your sensitive clit as he leans in, your back arching into the feeling as a ripple of pleasure goes through your entire body. Tony wraps his strong arms around your thighs to keep you in place before diving in like a starved man.

From sucking on your sensitive clit to licking up every last drop of your arousal, not a single inch of you is left untouched as he takes his time eating you out like it’s the last time he’ll ever do this. As if he wants to commit every last inch of you to memory. The entire time, you’re pulling on his hair to guide him where you need him most, and when you’re getting close to your orgasm again, you’re burying your fingers even deeper in his hair to pull him impossibly closer.

Deep groans are audible together with the delicious sounds of Tony enjoying you as his dessert, and your fiancé can’t help but rut his hips against the sheets for any friction he can get to relieve some of the tension that’s been building inside him, too.

“D-Daddy! I’m so- close!” Your voice pitches near the end as Tony lets one of your legs go in favor of using his fingers to massage the sweet spot inside you as his lips wrap around your clit, bringing you to your next high of the evening with a very loud shout of his name. While he’s working you through your high, he cums, too, as the pressure inside him has been building constantly and is finally reaching its tipping point.

“Fuck, you made me cum with you, Sugar! Such a delicious pussy, and your sweet noises made me make a mess of myself for you,” he says in a breath voice. He has crawled upwards to lie next to you and pull you into his arms, wanting to have you as close as possible as you’re both basking in the afterglow of everything that has brought you both to this point.

“I love it when you’re messy, Daddy,” you tell him softly, and Tony smiles in agreement.

“I do, too, Sugar. You’re the only one who can make this much of a mess for me without even trying.” He gently positions your head onto his shoulder, and your hand lies over his arc reactor as your eyes fall shut for a moment, the need for recovery strong enough to pull you into a light slumber in your fiancé’s arms. He keeps tracing abstract figures on your soft skin; he doesn’t want to let you go now. He’ll worry about the mess he has made of himself later.

While you were peacefully sleeping, Tony called one of the many robots that make your life in the penthouse as easy as possible. He brought some wet wipes to clean himself off before pulling you closer and putting the blanket over the two of you. Then, as the clock is nearing 11.15 PM, he gently wakes you with soft kisses on your head and gentle strokes of his fingers over your cheek, bringing you back to reality gently. A soft groan is audible as you slowly wake up again, and Tony can’t help but smile at the cuteness that is you being woken up from a nap.

“Hi there, Princess. Did you have a good nap?”

“Hmmm, yeah. I wish it could’ve been longer, though.” Sleep is evident in your demeanor as you stretch yourself out, the blanket shifting a bit to reveal your bare breasts to the coldness of the room, resulting in hardened nipples that have an immediate attraction for Tony. Within seconds, his fingers are gently playing with your nipples to make them even harder, and you’re clenching your thighs together again as your arousal warms you from the inside out.

“Let me take care of you, Sugar. I want to make love to you and treat you like a true Queen for the rest of the night. I want to start the new year with you in my arms, and when buried inside you,” Tony whispers against your head while you push your chest against his hand for more. A soft please falls from your lips, and it’s all he needs to hear before he climbs over you, covering your much smaller body underneath his as he reaches for his thick, leaking cock.

“You’re so big, Daddy; are you sure it’ll fit?” You try to sound as innocent as you possibly can, much to his delight, and he can feel himself throb in his hand as he slowly strokes himself up and down, his thick fingers gliding over the sensitive veins before paying some special attention to his soft tip. His eyes slip shut as he bites his bottom lip, trying his hardest not to cum right away when you say things like that.

“Don’t worry for even a moment, Sugar. Daddy will be very gentle with you, and it’ll fit beautifully like we’re made for one another. I promise.” His words are sealed with a peck on your lips, and when you’re busy melting from his sweet words, he lines up with your dripping entrance, arousal already making a mess of the sheets again.

As Tony takes his time working himself into you, some fireworks are already going off outside despite it not even being midnight yet. Still, it perfectly conveys how you’re feeling - like fireworks go off between you two with every passing second. Tony takes his time working every inch of his length inside of you; your gazes are locked the entire time so he can see your face with every roll of his hips, with every inch you’re taking of him. Neither of you is in a hurry, and Tony plans to make this moment last as long as possible.

“I love you, I fucking love you!” The words are emphasized with every stroke, and soon, he’s nestled deep inside you, his pelvis flush against your body as his balls are full and aching to be emptied deep inside you. He shifts his weight so he’s leaning on one arm, allowing the other one to move freely over your stomach and breasts, looking to play with your nipples again.

“How did I ever get so lucky, hm? To have a woman like you in my life, who I love unconditionally, who’s making me a better man with everything I do? Who said yes to marrying me? And who I fuck wherever, whenever and however I want?” He smirks as the last sentence rolls off his tongue, an uncontrolled moan slipping out as it does.

“I-I’m the lucky one, Daddy,” you tell him as your fingers glide over his cheeks and into his hair, pulling him in for a much-needed, passionate kiss. As soon as your lips collide, Tony sets a slow pace that has you soon seeing stars, and it doesn’t take long for your climaxes to build again. Each time he hits your sweet spot deep inside, you can’t help but tug on his hair in a reflex, and he groans each time you do.

“You are very lucky, Sugar. Especially when I fuck every last drop of my cum inside you until you’re fucking pregnant with my baby. Gonna look so beautiful with your big belly and massive boobs- Are you gonna let me drink from you?” Without thinking, you exclaim a loud yes to his question, as you want nothing more than to carry his baby.

“Hmmm, that’s it, Gorgeous. Taking my cock so well for me,” he praises you, and it’s making your cheeks feel warm as he does. Before meeting Tony, you weren’t exactly used to much praise, but he isn’t either, and you can’t get enough of praising someone who isn’t used to good things. It’s undoubtedly been a process for you both, but now you’re more than happy to hear him tell you how good you feel and how well you’re doing for him. With every bit of praise, he feels you pulling his hair again, but it still isn’t enough, and he needs more.

“I need you to pull harder, Sugar, harder,” he orders, and you do as he asks while he sets an even faster pace, the bed now rocking back and forth as he does. Every last bit of self-control has gone out the window as you pull his hair with one hand, your nails raking down his back with the other as you’re clenching around his cock like a vice before arching your back and experiencing your last orgasm of the year.

“FUCK!” is all Tony exclaims as he pumps you full of every last drop of the cum that he’s been saving for you, and it’s so much that it’s already leaking out of you before he even has the chance to pull out. Your eyes roll back into your head with every stroke he makes, your nails digging even harder as you moan uncontrollably from the pleasure he’s bringing you.

“I have to say, I think this might be our best New Year’s Eve yet,” he says with a smile while catching his breath, his face tucked into your neck while you’re wrapped around him like a little koala bear. Mindful not to crush you, he pulls out gently before rolling on his back and pulling you with him, allowing you to catch your breath on top of him.

When you’ve finally caught your breath, Tony offers to tuck you in while he runs a bath for you both - knowing full well that Natasha has prepared everything short of filling the tub, and before you know it, he’s back to lift you over there. The rest of the night, you don’t have to move a single muscle if Tony can help it, wanting to give you as much rest as possible.

“Are you comfy like this?” Tony asks when you’re seated comfortably, his cock nestled deep inside you after you asked if you could cockwarm him in the bath. He’s never been able to say no to such an offer, and he will make the most of it for as long as he can with you. After all, he has to leave early in the morning, so he’s happy to soak in every last bit of you that he can.

“Very,” you say as you bring the glass of champagne to your lips, a strawberry inside to add some flavor. The large floor-to-ceiling windows give you a beautiful sight all over Manhattan after Tony has turned off the frosted effect - not that anyone can look inside unless they’re flying -and you’re happy to spend the last moments of the year with the man you’re marrying next year.

“I can’t wait to marry you next year,” you tell him when you’re snuggled against his chest, your head lying against his shoulder as you look outside. Fireworks in all colors and shapes illuminate the night sky, and you’re relaxing through and through while you do.

“I can’t wait either, Sugar. Then you’ll finally be Mrs. Stark,” he says, a wide smile on his features as he does. It’s always been a dream to get married, but to call you his wife is better than anything he could have ever dreamt of. From the moment you two met to when you proposed, and from his own proposal until now has been a rollercoaster of emotions in the best way possible, and he wouldn’t change it for anything. Without you, his life wouldn’t be the same, and he’s looking forward to finally putting that ring on your finger.

“You know what else I can’t wait for? I’m stepping back as Iron Man when I'm back from my mission. To spend time with you, care for Sun and Moon, and start our family. God, I can’t wait to fuck you every single day to pump you so full of my cum that you’re going to get pregnant with twins. Or triplets. Either way, we’re going to have the most delicious sex whenever we want until you’re round with my babies.”

His voice deepens at the mention of you getting pregnant, and his breeding kink is going wild inside his head. Every thought about positions and places is going through his head - folding you in half so he can reach even deeper spots, as well as fucking you on every surface of the penthouse and your cabin in Austria. He can’t wait to get you pregnant, but he will have much fun before then.

“Yeah? You want to get me pregnant that badly, huh?” you ask, and Tony’s eyes widen in surprise at your words. He nods enthusiastically, and you kiss him on his cheek, making him blush.

“I’d like that too,” you whisper in his ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps on his sensitive skin.

“Mark me, Sugar, I’m all yours. Mark me as much as you want, as I’ll proudly show every single one of them off to everyone,” he says, and you can’t help but clench around his cock inside you as he does. He’s never been shy to ask for what he wants, and it always turns you on even more when he does.

From his ear, you move down to his neck, where you start sucking a path of hickeys, marking him just like he loves doing to you. You keep this up until you hear an announcement from JARVIS that it’s almost midnight and a countdown from 30 to 0 has started.

“Lemme quickly get two glasses of champagne,” Tony says, and when there are only 5 seconds left, he hands you yours. In unison, you two count down the last few seconds, and right on cue, Tony crashes his lips onto yours, punching every last breath out of your chest as the kiss is all-consuming. Your tongues are dancing in a passionate rhythm, wanting to commit each other to memory one last time. When he pulls away, you’re left breathless as you smile at him, his eyes shimmering with love and admiration.

“Happy New Year, Sugar. I love you.” His words are sealed with one more kiss and a sip of champagne—the best start of the year ever.

You two spent another hour and a half in the bath together - talking, sharing kisses, sipping champagne, and already saying most of your teary goodbyes before his mission - before it was finally time to get ready to sleep. Tony massaged you to help you fall asleep, and the following day arrived too soon for your liking. While you’re still in bed, Tony has put on loose sweatpants as he will pick up Sun and Moon from their stay with Bucky.

It doesn’t take long before you’re greeted with lots of meows and furry cuddles as your fiancé places both of them on the bed, ready for some much-needed cuddles. While Tony can’t stay long, he’s trying to soak in as much time with the three of you as possible, wanting to remember this moment for a long time when he’s on the other side of the world.

“Good morning, Beautiful. How did you sleep?” Tony asks as he’s settling on his side of the bed, though Moon has already claimed his pillow as he’s curled up on it. You can’t help but smile as Tony kisses you, but before he can go too far, you kiss him on his nose, making him smile, too.

“Surprisingly well, though, that has everything to do with the amazing massage you gave me last night. And the way you wore me out, too,” you say, and he nods proudly. During the rest of your time together, Tony kisses you, tells you sweet things like how much he misses you, and cuddles your cats, too. But then, it’s finally time for Tony to leave.

“I will call you as soon as I can, okay? And take good care of yourself in my absence, no matter how hard times may be without me there. You’re amazing, and I love you so much, Sugar.” Tony’s words bring tears to your eyes as his thumbs rub softly over your cheekbones, and you nod. Nothing you can say will make this any easier, but you’re thankful you two have been able to share all your thoughts last night in the bath.

“I love you, Tony. And please, take good care of yourself, too. I’m going to need you back in one piece.”

He nods before leaning in and placing a featherlight kiss on your forehead, sealing his promise of coming back in one piece. Goodbyes have always been hard for you, but now that Tony will leave for the next six months, a chunk of your soul is going with him, and you won’t feel complete until his return.

“I love you too, Y/N. More than I can ever put into words,” he whispers against your forehead, and then he pulls you in for one last bone-crushing hug. Then, the elevator bell rings, letting you know he must leave. Fury is waiting in the now open elevator for Tony to join him, and you’re placing one last kiss on his nose before he officially leaves.

“I’ll take good care of him, Y/N. I promise,” Fury says, and you nod as you wipe the tears from your cheeks. With one last air kiss, the elevator doors close, and Tony is officially gone for six months. The moment you’ve been looking up to the most is here, and you can’t help but let out heartwrenching sobs as Moon comes to comfort you - his paw softly batting against your leg in comfort.

You gather him into your arms before getting up and walking to the couch, where you let yourself go for a while. Eventually, the tears stop, and you’re preparing for the breakfast date you planned with Natasha, anticipating this moment. If you can’t be with the man you love, you’d be the happiest spending time with your best friend and looking forward to it.

You grab sports leggings, a sports bra, and one of Tony’s t-shirts from your walk-in closet to be comfortable this morning. Natasha doesn’t take long to arrive with the breakfast items she promised to bring. As soon as you see her, you pull her into a much-needed hug, and it’s like the pieces of you are slowly coming back together in her hold.

“How’re you holding up, Detka?” she asks, and you shrug before letting yourself fall back on the couch again, not knowing how to feel yet.

“It’s weird to know I won’t see him for at least six months. Normally, I spend every second I possibly can with him, but having him gone for that long will be quite an adjustment. Thankfully, I was able to get a proper goodbye last night,” you tell her with a small smile, thinking back to everything you have done with Tony last night.

“But enough about me. How was your New Year’s Eve with Bruce?” you ask as you sip the coffee she brought. Her eyes immediately light up at the mention of Bruce, and before she says anything, she lifts her hand and shows a large rock on her ring finger.

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!” you exclaim before pulling her into another hug. Bruce has gone down on one knee last night, and Natasha is beaming with pride as she tells you all about what he did - and how they celebrated afterward. Neither of you can keep anything a secret from the other, so it’s nothing short of routine for you two to share your sex lives.

“He went feral when I wrapped this hand around him! I’ve told you before about him having a temper in the bedroom, but this was absolutely out of this world,” she starts, and the rest of the morning is spent eating breakfast, cuddling both your cats and sharing every last detail of the way you spent your New Year’s Eve with your other halves.

Even though Tony is gone for six months, you’re still surrounded by people you love and who will make the time without your husband-to-be fly by. You’re thankful to be loved by so many people, and you will make many memories to look back on with everyone. But that will be a story for another day, as you’re now having a fantastic time with your best friend and two cats, which is another fabulous start to a tremendous year.

[missanathea]

.

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[sportsthoughts]

.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

idk if it's because my mum worked in a tv magazine or what but all the media wars and backstabbing and stuff happening behind the cameras is so so interesting to me

[coquelicoq]

goddammit i think my dentist's office stopped taking my insurance sometime in the last six months. of course they did not tell me. i've already confirmed my appointment and it's within the next 24 hours anyway so now i probably have to either pay the cancellation fee (whatever it is, i can't tell from their website but i assume they have one) or pay out of pocket for a cleaning. i feel like it should not be on me to confirm that they still take my insurance before every appointment, i feel like they should let me know if they've dropped my plan and ask if i still want to come in. that does not seem unreasonable to me. but no now i'm probably out hundreds of dollars for no reason.

[spacedlexi]

sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there

dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof

[neverbelessthan]

Just saw a post quoting that HBO douchebag on how they're trying to figure out if it makes sense to renew for s3 based on bullshit metrics.

How about you crunch the data on how many people dropped their Max or Binge subscriptions the same day s2 finished fucking airing.

[steviescrystals]

i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)