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fandomgirlz01 · 2 days ago

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The Most Perfect Christmas Ever

JJ Maybank X Routledge Reader

Imagine on fandom instagram?: No

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: Yes: (1) "Cute Christmas socks." (2) "Are you going to stay out there in the cold all night?" (3) "Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up." (4) "Is that my scarf?" (5) "Be careful you’re clumsy and it’s really slippery out here." (6) "Ah. The ground is so slippy.!” (7) "Call me elf one more time!" (8) "Chaos has come again." (9) "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone." (10) "Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up." (11) "Everything I want I can’t have." (12) "Here. Let me pick you up so you can reach the top of the Christmas tree." (13) "How long ago did (Character) fall asleep?" (14) "I believe the Abominable Snowman may be real. I think there may be something in that." (15) "I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold."

Style of Writing: Single Fic

Rating: PG ~ For all the fluff and cuteness, but a few adult comments…

Edited: Not edited so it may change around later guys.

Word count: 6,717

Post Date & Time: December 25th 2024 at 1:45 AM

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings Here

Listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}.

Summary: You, your brother John B and JJ (Jackson Jessy "Maybank" Groff) spend another Christmas together, your first Christmas without your father after he’d gone missing. This Christmas however is different than all the others that the three of you have spent together.

Authors Note: I got these amazing prompts from a fellow writers page @bonniebird Bonnie is an inspiration to me as well as an amazing writer and artist. I did change some of them up so they fit the story better, but I did try to keep them pretty close to the original prompts. Anyway, Bonnie’s work never fails to make me smile and feel all the feelings that I should when reading. I WISH I could write as amazingly as she does, but I’m nowhere near her level yet, I hope and pray that one day I will be. Ladies and gentlemen please go give her love and support because she really deserves it. She’s one of my many inspirations and I’m so so happy to use her prompts because they really pushed me to write this fic even though I was blocked for all of my other works. I feel like it helped me break out of it, so THANK YOU Bonnie for everything 🩵🩵🩵

Also this is our first JJ Maybank fic. We have so much coming out for JJ he will eventually be added into our main people we write for so be on the look out for when we add that in. We both hope you guys enjoy this one. 🩵

You hum softly to yourself along with the Christmas music you have playing as you lay out the decorations. Every Christmas, you, John B, your dad, and JJ would enjoy Christmas together. When you were growing up and found out what JJ’s dad did to him (you didn’t tell them of course, because that’s JJ’s place to tell people about it), you begged for JJ to start spending the holidays with you. Ever since that very first time they agreed, he’s always come over. It’s always been your absolute favorite time of year. How could it not be? When you have JJ and John B around you, your two favorite people? This year is different though, because it’s the first Christmas without your father since he had disappeared only a few months ago now.

“Hey. Wow. You’ve really got everything ready,” John B comments in shock as he looks at everything you’ve laid out so far.

“It’s Christmas, JB, of course I’ve got everything ready. Don’t I always?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him and shrugging.

“I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve and we’re only now decorating…” you shake your head and he chuckles.

“I know normally you have it all started the last week of November,” he comments, amusement clear in his tone.

“I know right! I’m so behind. This year has been a lot… it’s been one stressful year…” you mutter out with a roll of your eyes and he again hums in amusement as you bite your lip.

“Hey. I get it. It definitely has been wild,” John B agrees and you sigh.

“It’s just… it’s the first one without dad. We should still celebrate, be happy to still all be together right?” You ask, unsure of your own words.

“Of course, bug. I’m sure we’ll enjoy it,” he tells you as he stops you for a moment to pull you into a hug.

“Plus, I’ll have my two favorite guys with me. I’m happy and I refuse to not be happy during my favorite time of year,” you push away from the hug as you ramble while continuing to lay stuff out, not bothering to spare a look at your brother.

“Hey. I get it. I do. No need to preach it to me, bug,” he reverently tells you, giving you a small shrug.

You continue to lay ornaments and many other decorations out on the table. You step back to look at your handiwork, proud of how it looks. You get pulled out of your thoughts when your brother laughs, making you look at him instead.

“What?” You ask him, eyebrow propped and he points down at your feet.

"Cute Christmas socks," he tells you though chuckles and you look down at them, pushing up onto your toes.

“Oh, really? Good, I got both you and JJ a pair of your own,” you inform him with a giant grin and his face falls.

“There’s no way JJ will be wearing those…” he tells you and you giggle.

“Who says! They’re cute!” You cry out and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Sorry to tell ya, bee, JJ doesn’t do cute,” he tells you with humor lacing his tone.

“Fine. You’ll wear them though, right?” You ask, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Not a chance. Puppy eyes don’t work on me anymore, bee,” he tells you and you smirk even though he’s not looking at you.

“Really? Then why won’t you look at me, huh?” You teasingly ask and he huffs.

“No reason. No reason at all. Speaking of your two favorite people, where's the other?” John B asks with a hint of humor, changing the subject as he picks up an ornament to look at before carefully setting it back down.

“Actually, he was supposed to be here about thirty minutes ago…” you comment as you finally look up at the clock.

“Don’t worry, bug. It’s JJ, I’m sure he’s just running late,” John B tries to comfort you, but you shake your head, rushing over to start putting your jacket on.

“Exactly. It’s JJ. He’s never late this time of year. He loves having Christmas with us,” you comment as you shove your feet into your shoes.

“Bug? What are you doing?” John B rushes over to you and you shrug as you stand while zipping up your jacket.

“I’m going to look for him. What if he needs us?” You counter as you wrap a scarf around your neck and John B sighs.

“I’m coming with you then,” he informs you as he grabs his own jacket.

You give him a look of exasperation before shaking your head once more. You pull the door open before starting down the porch, but John B pulls you to a stop. You go to yell at him, but he raises his hands in surrender before pointing over at something and you turn to look where he's pointing. You see JJ sitting curled up on the dock and you sigh in relief.

“You go talk to him. I’ll finish setting up, okay?” John B offers and you smile softly at him.

“Don’t you wanna go over?” You ask, popping an eyebrow at him and he pauses with lips pursed in thought.

“No. It looks more like a you and him moment,” John B answers with a small soft smile.

“Okay. If you’re sure, birdy,” you tell him, giving a side eye to see if he changes his mind.

When he doesn’t show any signs of changing his mind, you firmly nod at him before starting to walk over to JJ as John B heads back inside. It’s a cold night so you bring your cupped hands up to your mouth and breathe into them, hoping to warm yourself up a little. Once your hands have warmed up, you move them under your armpits, trying to keep them that way as you move closer and closer to JJ.

“Jayj…” you call out softly and you can see your breath in the air.

“Hi, cupcake…” he mutters, not looking at you which makes you frown.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” You ask as you sit next to him, your feet dangling over the side of the dock.

“JJ, talk to me…” you mutter out when he doesn’t answer and you move to cuddle into his side, but he uses his shoulder to shove you off, still keeping his face out of view.

“JJ. Seriously, what is wrong?” You ask as you grab his shoulder, trying to pull him to look at you even though you have an opinion on what’s going on.

“Just leave me alone cupcake. Please?” He practically begs, still turned away from you and you frown even harder.

“Jayj, please…” you whisper out to him once again and he sighs, finally turning to you not liking the hurt sound of your voice.

“Oh, JJ…” you gasp when you see his face full of black and blue bruises, you had a thought that’s it be about his dad, but you had no clue it’d be this bad.

“See, that’s why…” he mutters, looking away from you once more.

“I don’t want you pitying me again… you do it far too often,” he mutters after you haven’t said anything.

“I don’t pity you, JJ. If anything I think it makes you incredibly strong…” you tell him with a firmness to your tone and he feels himself getting choked up.

“Yeah… whatever…” he responds, not believing you as he shoves you off again.

“I’m really sorry, JJ…” you mutter softly, not knowing what else to say to get him to believe you. You frown with a shake of your head as tears well up in your eyes.

“What do you have to be sorry for? You didn’t do this…” JJ asks as he still refuses to look at you and you reach out for him again.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sorry you got dealt such a bad hand in life. I wish… I wish I could force Luke to see you. To actually see you,” you explain as you're finally able to pull him to look at you. He wishes he could wipe your frown off but only smiles softly at you.

“It’s not so bad. I’ve got you and John B. It could be worse I guess,” he tells you with a shrug as he looks away again and out to the water.

“I mean, you are right. Having us is pretty awesome,” you agree playfully, bouncing your eyebrows and he chuckles to himself, shaking his head. You smile, seeing his tough exterior finally starting to break down.

“It really is,” he softly agrees as he still looks out over the water and you hold back a sigh.

“Well, are you going to stay out here in the cold all night and stew in what happened? Or are you going to come in and have fun with your favorite person?” You goad him while nudging him with your shoulder.

“Oh, John B’s my favorite person now, huh?” he playfully asks, his own lips forming a bit bigger of a smirk now and you gasp.

“Umm, no. I was actually talking about myself,” you respond with a deadpan look that makes him smile even more as he laughs, shaking his head.

“What makes you think you’re my favorite person?” he asks you, all smiles now and you can’t help but smile alongside him.

“It made you smile, didn’t it?” You answer him with a shrug and he’s shaking his head in disbelief again.

“Yeah… yeah. It did,” he chuckles, continuing to smile softly at you.

"Well come on, then, let's get inside. We have a tree to decorate still and many other Christmas festivities,” you tell him with a beaming smile as you go to get up, but he reaches out and stops you.

“Can we maybe just stay here for a moment more?” he mutters out and you blink at him for a moment.

“Yeah, of course, Jayj…” you softly tell him and he smiles a small smile at you.

The two of you sit in silence for a little while before JJ, who's not wearing a coat, starts to shake a little bit."Come here. I bet you can fit in my coat with me and it’ll warm you up," You tell him as you hold your coat open to him.

“Thanks, cupcake,” he mutters as he slides in under your arm and you smile warmly at him.

“Of course, Jayj. It’s us against the world,” you whisper to him as you bring your pinky up and he smiles again before bringing his up as well, wrapping it around yours.

“Us against the world, cupcake,” he agrees and you sigh, laying your head against his that now lays on your shoulder.

“Hey, is this my scarf?” he asks after a while of silence as he lifts one of the sides of the scarf up.

“Umm. Yeah, I think it’s the one you left here last year. I found it in my winter clothes. You can have it back if you want,” you answer with your cheeks burning hot and you try to hide your face.

“Nah. Keep it. It’s a better fit on you than me,” he tells you softly and again you can’t help but blush.

He says nothing else after that, just cuddles back into your shoulder and you squeeze his shoulder. The two of you stay sitting there, cuddling while looking out over the water in silence and just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Hey, tweedledee and tweedledum, are you two going to stay out there all night and make me decorate alone? Or are you going to come be of some help?”John B calls out for the two of you from the edge of the dock and you both roll your eyes.

“Well, you ready to go in?” You ask him and he smiles at you before nodding.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he agrees before pulling away and the two of you start to stand.

"Be careful cupcake, you’re clumsy and it’s really slippery out here,” JJ tells you as he stands up and you cross your arms.

“I’m not that clumsy!” You fight back and he hums in amusement.

“Okay. I’ll believe that when you're not tripping over thin air,” he jokes back with a smirk and you scowl at him.

“Whatever…” you tell him as you roll your eyes before turning and taking a step to head back to the house.

You let out a small gasp as you start to fall back, but JJ, knowing you well, was already reacting and quickly pulling you back up. You stare at him in shock for a moment before you slowly start to smile, making him smile too.

"You were right. The ground really is so slippery,” You joke, eyes wide in shock and he playfully rolls his eyes at you.

“Never change, cupcake. You’re truly one of a kind,” JJ tells you with a grin that’s utterly infectious.

“Only if you promise never to change yourself, Jayj. You’re one of a kind too,” you request and he nods in agreement.

You both stare at one another for a moment, your eyes staring into the blue pools that are his eyes that you’ve come to love so much over the years and you have a burning need to kiss him. You can feel his heart going what seems to be a mile a minute as he watches your eyes flicker down to his lips and back up to his eyes, his eyes doing the same. He squeezes your waist gently with a million thoughts of how your lips might taste flying though his mind and he wishes he could just kiss the adorable frown off your face, but he knows he can’t, making him frown too. You frown even deeper before opening your mouth to ask him why he’s frowning, but before you get the chance, you get cut off.

“Hey! Would you two stop making eyes at each other and come help me decorate!” John B calls out again, interrupting the moment and you almost groan.

“Thanks for catching me, Jayj,” you whisper out and something flashes through his eyes for a moment, an emotion you can’t quite decipher before he grins again letting you go.

“I’ll always catch you, cupcake,” he promises with a light smile before the two of you start to walk over to John B.

You slip a little bit once more, but you reach out and grab onto JJ’s arm. He looks down at you and chuckles as you cling to him like a koala bear, making him chuckle.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get you to the end of the dock safely,” he promises with a laugh as he laces his fingers through yours and continues to walk over to John B.

"Chaos has come again, man!” JJ announces as you and he walk into the château before he’s letting go of you to walk over to John B.

“Don’t think that’s a good thing man,” John B deadpans and you fight to hold back a giggle as JJ pulls back from the guy hug the share looking offended.

“Fine then, I take it back. You’re definitely not my favorite person. It’s cupcake,” JJ says as he pulls you into him from behind.

“Oh so now I’m your favorite,” you ask, crossing your arms and giving a faux annoyed look.

“Let’s be completely honest bee, I think you always have been even when he lies outta his butt and says you aren't,” John B comments with a roll of his eyes as he picks up an ornament and hangs it on the tree.

“It’s disgusting sometimes really,” John B continues with a fake gag as he hangs the ornament up on the tree.

“Ohh. I wanna do the Angel!” You happily call out clapping your hands and John B chuckles.

“Don’t you always do it? This year’s no different, Bee. It’s your one job,” John B comments in amusement making you pout.

“It’s not my only job! I have others,” you fight back and JJ chuckles, slinging his arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, JB her other jobs lookin pretty,” JJ comments as he hugs you into his side and you fight a blush as you groan pushing him away.

“I extremely dislike both of you,” you comment, crossing your arms with a look of dismay falling on your face and they both grin.

“That’s not true. You LOVE us,” both of them singsong to you and you uncross your arms shaking your head.

“Okay maybe I do, but let’s get this show on the road,” you finally cave and agree with them before walking over to start decorating the tree some more.

“Okay miss head elf,” JJ jokes with a roll of his eyes and John B laughs.

“Oh that’s a good one Jayj. She really is a snappy head elf this time of year isn’t she?” John B agrees before pushing the joke a little further and you pause crossing your arms.

"Call me elf one more time!" You seeth out through clenched teeth and they share a look.

“Awe come on elffie. It’s a cute Christmas nickname that’s all. Plus you're the perfect height for it,” JJ tells you again, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he squeezes you affectionately and you huff, shaking your head.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s get decorating already…” you tell them in annoyance and JJ snickers along with John B.

Together you, JJ and John B all dance around and decorate making you completely forget about everything that’s been going on the past few months. For a moment it’s just you and your two favorite people living happily with nothing and nobody to take it away from you. You’d give anything to live every single day like this. You walk away still laughing at something JJ had said and walk back in with the scissors. You stop and fondly watch as John B and JJ fight over who gets to put an ornament on a certain branch. Blue Christmas by Elvis starts to play and without realizing it you start to cry.

“You okay there cupcake?” JJ asks as he turns around to see you crying and worry flows through him.

“I’m okay Jayj…” you tell him softly with a gentle smile on your face as you set the scissors on the table.

“Then why the tears?” John B asks and you giggle wiping at your eyes.

“I just wish we could all live like this everyday. Just us three having the times of our lives with nothing to worry about,” you start pausing to catch your breath a little bit and to sniffle.

“Both Kie and Pope have their parents. I’m happy to just have you two,” you explain more tears welling up in your eyes and JJ clicks his tongue coming over to give you a hug.

“I’m happy we have each other too, Bee, but unfortunately we can’t have it everyday. There’s always going to be good and bad days,” John B agrees with you as he to comes over to hug you.

“I know, I just wish it could be that way,” you sigh out and JJ squeezes you once more.

“I think we all do, cupcake. Let’s just try to live in this moment then yeah? Enjoy the time we have?” He asks and you grin up at him.

“Yeah, okay,” you agree and he smiles happy to see you back to your happy go lucky self.

You gasp as the song’s lyrics perfectly fit the moment. “But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas without you,” you sing along to Elvis as you sway and JJ shakes his head, but smiles as he watches you enjoy the music.

“Perfect timing, much?” He jokes propping an eyebrow making both you and John B burst out laughing.

“Yeah… definitely don’t quit your day job bug,” John B jokes and you shrug seemingly unfazed by his playful insult.

“And what day job would that be birdy? Hunting for gold?” You playfully ask back, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Okay. Okay… you win,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender.

“I always win,” you say in a devious tone with an equally devious look.

“Don’t I always win, Jay?” You ask, turning to JJ who looks between you and John B in a panic for a moment.

“Sorry JB. I have to say she is definitely a winner in my book,” JJ tells both of you and you let out a cheer pumping your fist in the air.

“Eat it birdy!” You cheer out as you do a little dance.

“So not fair! JJ’s only on your side because he’s crushing hard. Let’s bring Sarah in as a tie breaker,” John B complains and you pause your dance crossing your arms as you prop an eyebrow at him.

“How would that break the tie? One. Sarah, so would choose me too and second that’d only make it tied even more even if she did choose you,” you comment very pointedly and he shrugs sticking his tongue out.

“At least it’d be more fair. Again, JJ only chose you because he’s crushing on you,” John B again points out and you shake your head.

“And Sarah is so crushing on you,” you point out and JJ lets out an “ooooohhh” making you laugh.

“She got you there JB,” JJ comments with a smirk that’s infectiously making you smirk too.

“Okay birdy, you win. I take it as a compliment that my favorite person is crushing on me though,” you happily reply, leaving a kiss on JJ’s cheek and he blushes before awkwardly clearing his throat.

“Okay. Okay. Enough fighting you two. I think it’s time to put the angel up right?” JJ cuts in only wanting to change the whole subject as he holds the Angel up for you to take from him.

“Yeah, okay.” You agree as you take the Angel from him.

You look down at the Angel in your hands, the angel you and your mom had picked out together when you were five. You don’t remember much of her, John B does because he’d been a little older (he’d been seven) when she left, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt when you think about how she’d just left the three of you behind. John B and your dad had told you so much about her that sometimes she felt like a phantom to you, like someone that was there for a second, someone you knew so well, then gone the very next. Tears well up in your eyes and you look up at John B. He immediately knows what you’re thinking and lets out a sigh, sad for you as always, he always felt sad you couldn’t fully remember her like he could.

“I know, bug. I miss mom too,” John B sympathizes with you and you wipe under your eyes as JJ squeezes your shoulder.

“I just wish I’d gotten to actually know her a little more,” you mutter and JJ pulls you into a hug knowing that’s the only sure way to comfort you.

“Here, cupcake. Let me pick you up so you can reach the top of the Christmas tree.” JJ tells you after pulling away from the hug and he bends down before slipping his head between your legs lifting you as he stands.

“You better not drop me Jayj!” You squeak out before giggling hysterically as you’re now sitting on his shoulders one hand in his hair the other holding the angel and he stands straight.

“I would NEVER dream of it cupcake,” he sweetly tells you as he holds you a little tighter to make it known he definitely won’t drop you.

You grin as you put the Angel on the tree before looking down to see JJ looking up at you. You then nod at him and he bends to let you down slowly. Once you have both feet on the ground he stands up straight next to you. You smile at him before suddenly you're letting out a gasp pushing JJ away just the slightest but in your excitement.

“What? What’s wrong?” JJ asks immediate worry, taking over as he looks at John B for help, but John B just shrugs just as confused.

“It’s If Everyday Was Like Christmas my favorite Elvis Christmas song,” you happily explain and JJ lets out a sigh of relief shaking his head.

“We should have known,” John B playfully rolls his eyes

“Oh we really should have dude. She is an old soul,” JJ agrees and he chuckles as you start to sway again just as you had with Blue Christmas and JJ shakes his head again too as you hold a hand out for him.

“What?” JJ asks with an arched eyebrow and you grin making his heart melt at seeing you so happy.

"I want to dance with you. Come on. Dance with me Jayj,” you beg, holding your hand out to him more insistently.

“Okay, but you should know I’m not a good slow dancer sweetheart,” he informs you as he takes your hand in his and you smile as you help him get into position.

“It’s okay J. Just sway with me. We don’t have to be all that fancy, we’re Pogues, remember? Not kooks,” you remind and he throws his head back laughing before calming as he sways with you.

“P4L. Never a kook,” JJ happily agrees, proud that you feel the same way he does.

You lay your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and his leans against yours. He looks at John B for a moment over your shoulder who seems to be watching the two of you fondly. John B then surprises him by putting his hands up in surrender before leaving the room and JJ melts against you a little more.

When If Everyday Was Like Christmas ends both of you slowly come to a stop and you lift your head from his shoulder to look at him. You smile softly at him and again there’s a moment where you lock eyes. His bright brilliant blue eyes shining with happiness and another emotion that makes you think you might just kiss, but just like all the other moments over the years where you’d been close John B walks back into the room.

“And what’s going on here?” John B asks ever the overprotective brother that he is and you roll your eyes.

“Nothing birdy. Are we watching die hard or not?” You ask changing the subject as you push away from JJ and he fights not to frown at the missing feeling of your body heat.

“Not. I thought we could open a gift or two,” John B tells you and you arch an eyebrow at him.

“I thought we all agreed on no gifts this year?” You ask and John B shrugs.

"I’d be down. I know we said no presents this year but I wanted to get you both something special to show you how much I appreciate you, so I uhh did…" JJ admits with a shrug in agreement and John B grins shrugging along with JJ.

“My gifts really aren't much. Just one to open tonight and tomorrow for each of us. All have super special meaning that’s all,” John B informs you and you grin shaking your head.

“Well I really can’t say much. I did the same thing,” you admit with a giggle when they both give you a shocked look.

“Bee! It was your idea!” John B cries out and you smile sheepishly.

“Oppps,” you shrug feigning innocence, shrugging "Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone else right?” You ask with a lopsided grin and John B lets out a chortle shaking his head almost in disbelief.

“I mean she’s not wrong dude,” JJ happily chirps out and you smirk, bouncing your eyebrows.

“I’m never wrong Jayj,” you joke with him poking his side and he playfully scoffs.

“Okay. Yeah, whatever you want to believe cupcake,” he humors you as he rubs at the spot you’d poked him in.

After opening gifts you’d all decided to watch the movie so you cuddle up next to JJ and John B decides to sit in the chair off to the side. As the movie plays JJ lays behind you his strong arm wrapped around your waist like normal and anytime he laughs you feel the warm air from his mouth over your neck making goosebumps rise on your arms. You fight the whole movie not to fall even more in love with him and the way he holds you, but just like any other time the two of you cuddle you do.

“Well, I’m beat. I’m going to bed,” John B announces as he slaps his hands down on the arms of the chair and pushes himself up.

“Goodnight JB,” you call out as he walks toward his room and he turns around.

“Goodnight bumblebee. Sleep tight,” he replies with a soft smile your way.

“So cupcake, you heading to bed too?” JJ asks and you look up at him.

“I’m not really tired. I might go lay in the hammock for a little while,” you inform him and he nods letting go of your waist.

“You could come join me if you want, but you definitely don’t have to,” you tell him biting at your lip, nervous he might say no and he chuckles.

“And skip out on our special hammock time?” He asks like he is offended and he smiles when you perk up.

“Really?” You ask in excitement and he smiles even more.

“Really cupcake. I love our hammock time. Let’s go,” he promises softly as he pushes up off the couch and grabs the blanket the two of you always use.

He then turns to you and looks down at you sitting up before reaching a hand out to you. You smile almost shyly as you slip your hand into his and he pulls you up from the couch. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and together you walk out of the château. You both walk down the stairs and over to the hammocks.

“After you princess,” JJ tells you as he bows like a butler would and you giggle shaking your head.

“Why thank you. You're a very kind Prince, you know that?” You ask him as he lays down with you now and he holds his arm up for you to cuddle up to his side.

“Well it’s easy to be kind to a princess like you,” he tells you and you roll your eyes at his flirty ness as he uses his other hand to put the blanket over the two of you.

You giggle as he struggles to lay the blanket out evenly over the two of you and you reach out to grab the other side, pulling it over yourself. He chuckles softly, shaking his head before finally relaxing and he squeezes you softly as the two of you look up to watch the very prominent stars in the sky.

“Can I tell you a secret cupcake?” He whispers out to you after a few minutes as he uses his fingers to rub your arm.

“Of course Jayj… you can tell me anything. You know that,” you promise as you cuddle into his side even more.

"I believe the Abominable Snowman may be real... I think there may be something in that." He whispers and you slowly grin, turning to smile up at him.

“You might actually be right… I mean who’s to say he’s not real?” You ask and he chuckles, shaking his head loving the fact that you just agree with him.

“I think I may have everything I want right here right now,” you whisper out as you cuddle back down into him with a hum of contentment.

"Everything I want I can’t have." He admits and you frown pushing up to look at him again.

“What do you mean? You don’t have everything you want? What else could you want?” You ask with a frown, sad that he could possibly not be as happy as you thought he was.

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before letting them open once more. His blue eyes stare into yours and you almost lose yourself in them.

“You,” he whispers almost nervously and you’ve never seen JJ at his nervous before as you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Jayj. You have me. I’m not sure why you think you don’t,” you tell him in confusion and he huffs in anger, but not in anger at you, no he’d never be angry at you, but he is angry you're not getting it.

“No princess. You don’t get it… I want us to be… uggh,” he groans out reaching up to rub at his chest and your eyebrow furrows even more as you reach up moving his hand before rubbing his chest for him.

“Jay. Just calm down and tell me. It’s okay… you want us to be…” you prompt him to continue on as he seems to calm a little more.

“Okay… uhh… I want us to be more than friends and I know Pogues don’t Mack on Pogues, but I’ve wanted to be so much more with you for years…” he admits hesitation clear as he once again for the second time in the night refuses to look at you and you smile.

“Jayj… look at me please…” you whisper out and hit takes him a moment, but soon he’s doing it.

"It was always you, through everything it was always you Jayj. Nobody else,” you whisper again with a grin growing on your face as you watch him slowly realize exactly what you’d said.

“Wait… really? But wait… what?” He asks in confusion and you giggle.

"I'd always choose you Jayj.” You softly promise and nuzzle into his chest bashfully and he chuckles bringing his hand up to your head to massage at your scalp.

“I’d always choose you too Princess,” JJ promises just as softly as he leaves a kiss to your forehead.

“You missed…” you tell him with a confident grin as you sit up to look at him and he chuckles again shaking his head.

“Oh my bad. Let’s see if I can fix my mistake then,” he jokes right back with his own smile growing.

Before you know it his hand trails from your hair and to your neck, lightly pulling you to him while tilting your head ever so slightly. He moves slowly and treats you so gently making the butterflies erupt even more in your stomach. There’s a thick anticipation that falls over you with how slowly you move closer together, but it’s the kind of anticipation you really don’t want to end. Finally his lips meet yours in a firm yet delicate and maybe a little desperate kiss. You are a little surprised thinking it would have been a little more heated with knowing how JJ is, but the delicacy of which he kisses you proves to you just how much he’s wanted this.

He worries if he makes it anymore heated like he normally does with other girls he’d ruin this whole moment and he really doesn’t want to lose you. You're the most important girl outta all the ones he’s ever been with so if he messes it up he’s scared he might lose you all together. You take a leap and kiss him a little harder, surprising him for the smallest of moments, but he smirks into the kiss before reciprocating it even more. You smile into the now heated kiss as you reach up and wrap your arms around his neck and play with the hair at the nip of his neck making him groan. You then maneuver a little more so now instead of laying side by side you lay on top of him and he squeezes your waist after his hands move from your neck.

Slowly you pull away breaking the kiss almost unwillingly and he chases your lips giving them another peck making you giggle. He then leans his forehead against yours and you grin wide as both of your heavy breaths mingle together.

“Wow…” you whisper, biting your lip and he grins at you.

“Definitely wow. I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” he admits and you grin as you use your thumb to trace his lips.

“I know it may be early, but I love you Jayj. You’re my favorite Christmas gift,” you tell him as you scoot down and lay your head on his chest.

“It’s not early at all, princess. I think we’ve loved each other for a while now. We’ve just been too scared to tell each other,” he tells you as he kisses your head and pulls you even closer then before.

“Oh and you're my favorite gift too sweet girl. I love you,” JJ adds on and you sigh happily.

“Merry Christmas Jayj…” you mutter out as tiredness takes over your body.

“Merry Christmas cupcake,” JJ parrots you again, squeezing you a little closer.

It’s a little while later and JJ smiles when he realizes you’re breathing has evened out meaning you’re happily asleep in his arms. He yawns, but refuses to fall asleep quite yet, just wanting to enjoy having what he thought he never could.

"How long ago did, bug fall asleep?" He hears a whisper making him look up at John B.

“Only a little while ago. She’ll probably sleep in a lot more than the last few years. I thought you went to bed?” JJ whispers not wanting to wake you as you sleep soundly on his chest.

“I did, but I knew you two would come out here and I wanted to check up on the two of you to make sure you're all good before I actually fall asleep,” John B whispers back and JJ smiles a thankful smile at him.

“Thanks man. We’re good,” JJ tells him and John B nods pausing to watch your sleeping face.

“You take care of her, you hear me JJ. You break her and best friends or not I will break you,” John B says in a serious whisper and JJ’s eyes widen for a moment.

“Don’t worry dude. I don’t plan to and if it ever does happen I’d break myself before you even hit the chance,” JJ whispers honestly and John B smiles at his best friend.

“I know, but now that the two of you got wise and got together I still need to make it known. I’m her big brother first and foremost,” John B informs him with a shrug and a happy smile at seeing his sister happy as well as safe and sound in his best friend's arms.

“Goodnight JJ. Sleep well buddy,” John B tells him before turning and starting back to the château.

“Night man. You sleep well too,” JJ tells him in a happy whisper as he nuzzled into your hair.

John B knows without a doubt that JJ is good for his little sister and you are for JJ too. He’s so happy the two of you have finally confessed and made it official. He’s had to watch the two of you pine for one another for years and it was painful sometimes because he cares for both of you so much. First and foremost though as he’d told JJ you are and will always be his first thought. It’s just a big brother thing to protect his little sister.

JJ watches until John B makes it into the château before deciding to hold you close for a little while longer. Before he knows it though your soft, even breathing lulls him into his own slumber and his eyes close, but even in his sleep he holds you close never ever wanting this Christmas to end; the most perfect Christmas ever for the both of you.

The End…

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wessamfamily · 3 days ago

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Hello everyone, how are you.

Please take a few minutes to read this post.

lam writing these words after losing hope in everyone... except for you, my friends. Just a short while ago, I saw that Tumblr has 100 million downloads. That's an enormous number! But

imagine, with all those millions of people, how would you feel if 100 million people saw you and ignored you? You'd feel deeply disappointed, right? Or maybe you'd evern wish for death.

Have you ever wished for death? For me, I feel like I'd rather die than be ignored by everyone. If/ wasn't in desperate need of help, I wouldn't ask anyone

for it. I really need help-not for myself, but for my family. For my father, who is.fighting cancer. For my one-year-old niece.

Imagine for a moment that you have a small child you love dearly, and you're forced to watch her suffer in front of your eyes.

This isn't just an imagination for me; it's my reality. My family and live this pain every day.

Please, be our hope. Be our voice. Be the ones who save us from despair. Don't ignore us. Donate, even if it's just 5 euros.

There are so many people reading this post right now. I beg anyone who sees these words to donate

if they can, and if not, to share this post. Please, don't leave us behind.

Be our family, or think of us as members of your own family, and save us from this suffering. To those who have already donated generously, I extend my heartfelt

thanks and appreciation. But can you add more? If you can, please share a screenshot of your donation here. If you'd prefer to stay anonymous, feel free to send it to me privately.

No matter how small the amount, your help means the world to us. And if you can't donate, share this post and add a fevw kind words to inspire others to help.

One day, you may find yourself in need of help. Help me today so that someone else might help you tomorrow. Your donation-or evenjust sharing this post-could save the life of an entire family.

We stay here all day on one meal that almost satisfies our hunger. Can you refrain from eating breakfast, lunch or dinner and donate money to us? This will be a simple experience for you from the pain we live in, and it will be generous of you to donate.

I want to tell you guys that my posts always get a lot of attention because of you. I kindly ask you to follow my account so that you can receive everything I post about our situation here. Although my posts get a lot of likes, we do not get donations. Please donate. Please share and donate.

Thank you so much, everyone. I wish

you all the best.

Sincerely,

Your friend, Wessam

#free palestine #gaza #free gaza

#gaza genocide #gaza strip #save palestine

#gazaunderattack #i stand with palestine

#palestinian art #art #artists on tumblr

#all eyes on palestine #palestine gfm

#please donate #donation

@chokulit @3000s @killy @apas-95 @pitbolshevik

@ot3 @punkitt-is-here @vampiricvenus

@turtletoria @pcktknife @paper-mario-wiki

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@dirhwangdaseul @bonkcreat @tamamita

@evillesbianvillainarchive @wolfertinger666

@taffybuns @ankle-beez @sabertoothwalrus

@meshugenist @isuggestforcefem @yekkes

@hotvampireadjacent @tododeku-or-bust

@marxism-transgenderism

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aalinaaaaaa · 3 days ago

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2024 In a Gift Box

Hey, everyone, greetings after another year that has flown by all too quickly! Featuring new friends, a few awards and 400% more holidays (rip my wallet lol), this has been a wild year for me. And that's only half of it.

For some strange reason, my desire to write increases with the hecticness of my life. Much of Obsidian Sapphires' revival/troubleshooting phase occured during the latter part of the year, from October onwards (though I had been tinkering with its plot for some time now). All because I woke up one morning with the solution to a plot hole appearing in my head.

Anyway, preambles aside, here's a few major highlights from my year (in writing terms):

First up, thanks to @druidx for the Year in Review Tag! The premise of the tag is to post one's favourite five or so pieces that they've written throughout the year.

To be truthful, some of Obsidian Sapphires' scenes would make this list only the respective chapters for them aren't completed yet 😅

A Pawn for a Greater Cause — I had a ball writing the starting dialogue, and the prompt gave me a few revelations regarding Petrius' character.

Regrets — This made me cry at 1am, the catharsis was unreal.

To Perpetuate Life — Amazing how almost falling asleep gives me ideas. This piece helped me answer a few questions about Orlaith's backstory, and also gave me extra questions surrounding the lore.

Blue Moon — This feels like a nice deviation from my usual style, it's more dreamy and whimsical. Also, this reminds me to go and work on its second part, lol (because the scope was too big for one piece)

That angsty pining scene — This is not posted as one scene, but rather in splinters because parts of it are dripping in spoilers for Obsidian Sapphires. However, I enjoyed writing this scene too much not to post some snippets.

WIP Roundup

First things first, an ode to the WIPs that I've put on ice to focus on Obsidian Sapphires.

The Lady's Lament, a brief idea born out of a plot bunny inspired by a plot on Wattpad. The idea sprouted in April 2023, but it lives on in the form of worldbuilding ideas for South Arobyre.

And then also, Flamebearer, one of my oldest wips but also arguably my most complex one. It's a story of grief, religious dilemmas and romantic/familial drama, all under the backdrop of sociopolitical turmoil. It's going to take a lot of research and planning, that much I know. Hence why I want it to be as perfect as I can make it, when I have the knowledge and writing practice to do it justice.

In April this year, one of my Flash Friday pieces (Duel to the Debt) sowed the seeds for another piece (An Endless Round) in May, and later on Soulswapped derived from it. I intended it to be a short enough story, a novella of sorts that would be woven into a larger compilation, but it's become its own thing. Already, I think it may get a sequel. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Obsidian Sapphires

So its progress this year has been skewed. Like, 'a lot of its progress spawned in October or thereafter' sort of skewed. I woke up one morning and the cogs for the rigmarole surrounding what is currently Chapter 2 all clicked, to the point I yanked out my laptop and starting writing notes until I had to run for class.

Since then, I've had a bunch of ideas, but currently I'm deliberating on the story I wish to tell. It seems more cohesive and easier to plan for when I cut Eshani's perspective out, but at the same time, cutting her perspective would cut or at least hide much of her character development. That and I love her to bits, and she may/may not be a readers' favourite also.

In terms of actual tangible content, bits of the angsty pining scene got posted, as did sections of the first and second chapters. It even came with a few memes, lolololol. (And there's more memes sitting in my gallery/Scrivener notes, this story's quite memeable honestly).

The antagonists got their time of day, however brief so far. And not just the lead meshai, but also the septet of folks angry at the meshai and his fellows.

And this gets onto something that has existed as tags and headings and brief little mentions. A collection of pieces, leading up to answers surrounding some major events in the history of the country Obsidian Sapphires is set in.

That would be This Blood-Stained Charcuterie. It is going to be the anthology of short stories and one-off pieces surrounding Morilast's High Councillors (and indeed, the Court's other denizens and its namesake himself!). A lot of juicy details surrounding certain characters' backstories are going to feature here, I can't wait to get into it. (It's also my excuse to figure out all the bits of lore and convoluted ancestries [who murdered who], lol).

When I finish with Obsidian Sapphires, that is about when I'll start releasing this one. The title could change upon me getting to the end, but we'll see.

Flash Fiction Friday

I started doing these pieces in late 2023, so it's been about a year since my first one (Contemplations). In all, I've completed a total of 28 pieces so far :D

The masterlist came about in early January, because I was inspired by other people who had masterlists for their pieces. It's very satisfying to see it develop from a few pieces to what it is today, a decent few pieces.

Whatsmore, it reflects the trends in my writing, such as the wips that the prompts inspired me for, and what periods I was consistently doing it week-by-week and when the major gaps were.

For whatever reason, I have a tendency of getting inspiration for these at about midnight or so. Even if I get a handful of basic notes written down, it may not still be until late in the night that I can get a piece together, lol.

To commemorate the end of the year, I've started a series known as Flash Friday Flashbacks to celebrate what I've made and show off behind-the-scenes when it comes to notes, context, deleted scenes, etc.

There are a few pieces left in this year's version, which will be reblogged close to the end of the month (to celebrate the New Year).

Next year's edition is going to feature the December 2024 pieces in addition to all the 2025 stuff (which hopefully is a lot). There will also be a 2025-specific masterlist too.

Writeblr Community Events

What is writeblr without its community? It's beyond a pleasure to be part of a group so lovely and talented, everyone has something amazing going for them.

As part of this, there are some people here who create events, discords and/or other initiatives that bring people together. Shoutout to everyone who has done/is doing something along these lines ❤️

Special mentions in my case go to:

@flashfictionfridayofficial for taking the prompt submissions, making the posts, and reblogging everyone's stories (with fantastic comments) every week

@writeblrsummerfest for making a lovely event spanning the entirety of August, encompassed by a well-organised theme and all

@bardic-tales for establishing the @creators-club and doing all the various types of ask/tag games to foster interaction and support

@agirlandherquill for her first ever Writemas! These prompts are impeccable and it was really fun looking forward to the next day's prompts! I wish I could've participated more, but alas, that's how the cookie crumbles. (Also, high five, we're in the same timezone, woo!)

Plans for 2025

Continue with Obsidian Sapphires — I'd love to get the draft finished

Doing as many of the Flash Friday prompts as well

Reblogging people's posts more and hopefully improving at reaching out to people

Learning to draw is something that I've always wanted to do, but I want to get focused with it this year. It would be cool to put my characters in visual form

Getting a handle on the lore and background information needed to compile This Blood-Stained Charcuterie

The Tags

That brings this post to its natural course, the end. Merry Christmas everyone ❤️🎄

Giving a Year in Review Tag to everyone who is on at least one of my taglists (ask, comment, etc to be added/subtracted): @mr-orion @the-ellia-west @guessillcallitart @thereadingfoz @glassstardust22124 @original-writing @honeybewrites @ashirisu @drowsy-quill @oliolioxenfreewrites @theglitchywriterboi @seastarblue @gioiaalbanoart @rae-butter @corinneglass @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @outpost51 @mundanemoongirl @scarletteflamerald @ceph-the-ghost-writer @flock-from-the-void @mattresses-and-macaroni @limitlesswritingvoid

...As well as all these people I'm tagging here: @winterandwords @finickyfelix @wintherlywords @anyablackwood @cherrybombfangirlwrites @kaylinalexanderbooks @angelfevr @thatndginger @thepeculiarbird @ominous-feychild @oh-no-another-idea @space-writes @veneritia @the-golden-comet @jev-urisk @cljordan-imperium @an-indecisive-nerd @mauannacreates @laureleavess @theeccentricraven @paintedbutton (@/bardic-tales, @/agirlandherquill, both of you are tagged for this too)

...And most importantly, here's a tag for everyone in the audience!

Here's to a hopeful 2025! 🎉

#writeblr #writeblr community #2024 review #this year in a box #flash fiction friday #obsidian sapphires #flamebearer #soulswapped #the lady's lament #this blood stained charcuterie

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protagaster · 1 day ago

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Wow.

It's over.

The concept album is anyway, but for now EPIC is all done.

It's been quite a ride, hasn't it everyone?

I don't normally do this, but I wanted to give the biggest and most sincere thank you to Jorge and the rest of Epic's beautiful ensemble, for giving me something more than these songs. They returned my sense of creativity, my motivation to write after so long in a personal slump, and even gave me the chance to make bonds with other like-minded souls.

Because of this musical, and the amazing fandom around it, I was inspired to create my own variation of the Warrior Penelope au, which grew to be so much more popular than I could have ever anticipated! So many of you wait patiently for those fics, some of you commenting under every single one, and you have no idea how much that means to me!

Through the au I got to meet my editor, co-author, and friend @somereaderinblue, and despite not knowing her for too long I already feel such a tight bond with her. Whether we talk about the au itself, our other hyper-fixations, or just chat about the silliest and most mundane of things, it never fails to put a smile on my face. I'm always so happy to have gotten the chance to know you. Thank you so much, Blue, for everything. Truly.

And I could never leave out my favorite resident artist, @zippyskyfalls. I first met Zippy not too long ago as well, also because of this au, and it has been such a fun and wild ride since! Talking to you has truly been the highlight of my day at times. Sometimes, when I felt myself feeling small, thinking that the war!pen au may not have been such a good idea after all, I just look at their creations and that feeling disappears soon after. Thank you Zippy, I know you will continue to shine bright, my muse.

And thank you to all of you, who follow my humble blog! Whether you have been here from the beginning or are joining in for the ride, know that you all contribute to our niche corner of the fandom just with your presence! I love you all, and I hope to continue making you proud <3

And...yeah! Sorry for my rambling, I'm just a little emotional rn. EPIC brought us all together, and I can't wait to see where we and Jorge go from here!

Keep on being amazing, my fellow neurodivergents! Let us never stop being weird together ~ 💜

#random post #epic: the musical #lets not call this a goodbye #instead i'm calling it a “lets see where we go from here!”#💜#don't worry #the next chapter of the series should be out relatively soon

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earlofbats · 3 days ago

Note

For the Harrykim fluff, running off a piece of fanart i've seen and that I cannot find for the life of me- Evening slow/soft dancing at their apartment? It could maybe start more silly/energetic and would slowly get softer as it goes on?

I think I know what you're talking about because I think I also saw that piece and it inspired me to write this:

"You, do you really think it'll be there?” Kim looks up to the church.

It's cold again, many years cold.

You tighten the grip on the cane and shift it under the weight of your palm.

It's fine wood body holds your weight and moors you to the earth, keeps you on the ground.

Kim's hand comes to hold your shoulder, you feel yourself sinking into the mud.

Soon you'll be buried there.

“It's still there…” you offer, distracted as you take in your surroundings.

It isn't, not really.

The church has a thin blanket of snow snuggled up against the doors.

The ice on the steps cracks and shatters like glass under your weight.

Kim hesitates at the stoop watches with nervous eyes as you rest your hand against the handle.

He’s uneasy, you’re acting strangely and despite his trust in you he is unsure.

“There's no music.” he states firmly.

“…oh? But can't you hear it?” You give Kim a smile that crinkles at your eyes as you push the doors open.

They drag along the rough wood, bending and splintering, metal rust flaking off the hinges.

The space is set with a stillness, its dim and silent air floats dust particles into the light.

No one has been here in years.

“They boarded up the hole..” Kim follows loyally behind, looking down at the base of the portrait where wood has been paneled along the base of the giant glass pane.

You look up.

Gone is her ethereal beauty, her soft and gentle features now reclaimed.

sprayed across her face a new visage, cartoonish and dripping down red against her glowing lungs.

A dead man smiling.

The defeat of history… The Hard Core.

Your grin widens yellowed teeth shining gray in the light.

You turn to Kim and point.

But he isn't looking in your direction, no he's looking towards the center of the room.

It's bigger, the size of a newborn, an infant it grows everyday bit by bit.

A child of a real revolution, a true undoing.

You turn back, limping over toward where Kim stares off into the rafters.

“You would have said no.” You state your hand coming to brush against the back of Kim's.

He looks down at it with a fond and tired expression, a long weathered kind of look.

“Probably…” Kim turns his palm up and wrangles your fingers into his.

You give it a light squeeze and nestle in close to him.

Your eyes flutter close, your breath seeps out into vapor.

Thoughts orbit around your head in their fine line across your halo.

Little drops of ideation swirling around the pull of your mind's gravitation.

Tender thoughts.

Thoughts you think about when you need the softness against the folds of your brain.

Kim's mustache against your cheek, his body against the curve of your spine, his breath against the back of your nape.

“Please….” Kim breathes against the inside of your collar “can we-” he stops himself with a hitch of breath.

You open your eyes wide, the reflection of them glimmering in the shine of Kim's spectacles.

“Kim,-” you turn to face him grabbing his other hand in yours, “I had to know-” you tighten your grip “I just wanted to see how much time we have.”

“Wh-” Kim stops himself. He wants to ask questions, but knows he doesn't want the answers.

“It's okay,” you assure him.

“We didn't come for the club…did we?”

You don't let your smile falter “we can still dance.”

“Harry…” Kim scolds.

“No, the club is not here. It's in Jamrock…boogie Street maybe. It's under the earth in the concrete…” you trail off,

The long steel rafters intertwined like spiderwebs crawling outward along the ceiling and down to the foundations, the thumping vibration against the catacombs of intersecting housings, the music at the end of the world brought to you by the youth of the final generation.

A sound you had seen the birth of.

The hole in the world lingers in its stratus.

The revolution is sound and radio waves.

You shuffle your feet, running your hands to find their homes at the dip of Kims pelvis, thumb resting over that narrow jut of bone.

You hum a tune and sway from one foot to the other.

Kim tries to hold back a smile he rests his head against the wide expanse of your shoulder and allows himself the respite.

The ocean breeze seeps through the cracks, glides along the wood and rotting varnish, brushes up against your cervical nerves, prickling hairs on the back of your neck.

There in the Jamrock Quarter, she stands proudly, the new church, the new faith, three friends sit at the helm of a technological wonder, at the new vibrations.

The Paliseum, a sanctuary of a new religion.

Kim stops your movement and pulls you away from him.

Ever so softly he kisses you.

His lips feel like hope and the kiss tastes of a future worth existing and you think to yourself,

“Disco is dead, long live disco.”

#sorry for late response tumblr was just not letting me post this idk why #harry du bois #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harrier du bois #kimharry #harrykim #fic

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rubberduckyrye · 2 months ago

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Rye's Ramble Analysis/Theory On: Kirumi Toujou

Okay so this is gonna be VERY haphazard and nothing like what I do over at @unweavinglies so bear with me, but after I was reminded that Salmon Mode and Kirumi's LSE excisted, I looked into those and like. Holy shit why were none of these character details in canon--or even in her FTEs?

These details change Kirumi's characterization so DRASTICALLY.

Analysis Exhibit #1: Self hatred/Self Deprecation--AKA there's TRAUMA in this Bish

Kirumi is really hard on herself when she makes the most. Nothing burger mistakes. She even suggests that Shuichi could berate her in any way he saw fit because of how "bad" she thought the mistake was--and even implies that she deserves it.

This is not something someone who has a stable self image thinks.

People who have a stable, positive self image are more likely to go "Oh! Whoops, anyway--" over berating themselves for not knowing someone prefers green tea over black tea.

Her whole LSE is about how Kirumi feels like her romantic love for her master would be a bad influence on him--that she needs to leave because her feelings are bad and wrong and--

She doesn't feel like she deserves her feelings to be validated.

People don't just come to the conclusion that their feelings are invalid all on their own--often more than not, this is a huge red flag for trauma--neglect and abuse coming to mind. Kirumi was definitely put in a situation where she believed that her feelings weren't just hindrances--but bad influences, that her feelings weren't valid at all. Combined with the above point, it's pretty clear that Kirumi may have even been yelled at for making mistakes as a child. There was definitely verbal abuse from how willing she was to let Shuichi have at her for her mistake, and her feelings being things she associates with negativity or being invalid suggests that she was often scolded for having feelings at all.

I think her maturity is a mask for her insecurities and potential trauma, and her hard-working nature is the result of thinking she needs to make herself useful to others by any means necessary in order to feel worthy of praise--maybe even worthy of living.

Kirumi even protests to the idea of Shuichi (her master) seeing her as an equal--a sign of dehumanizing herself.

With all that being said--

Her protest is never completed, but considering how Kirumi views herself, it's VERY likely that she would feel like if she doesn't clean the place up, then she isn't worthy. I think that this line can be interpreted in a variety of ways, but I see it as her trying to say "When you clean, I become useless."

And like.

Her whole LSE is her beating herself up about how she doesn't know how to prepare konjac.

All of these signs point to some kind of verbal abuse or severe neglect--more likely the former over the latter. I'm not exactly sure who abused/neglected her, but the signs are very much There.

It's possible her adamant dislike of being called mom or being referred to as "motherly" stems from this very-likely abuse, but that's more speculation and it's as equally as likely that she just simply finds it degrading. Either way.

Analysis Exhibit #2: People Pleasing (Struggling to Say No)

Kirumi has a very distinct inability to say no to most "reasonable" requests. I specify "requests" because it ties into the points above and how Kirumi sees herself.

Here, she is blatantly stating that if Shuichi is requesting her to watch this documentary then she will. Despite her very clear dislike of bugs, if she is told that it is a request, then she will complete that request, much to her distaste or discomfort.

The fact that Kirumi declines the offer if it isn't a request shows that despite her nature to please, she really dislikes bugs. She wouldn't be polite and watch the film with Shuichi due to how much she hates them.

This is also shown here as well:

She does, of course, have boundaries she will not cross, as shown here:

But she outright states that "Maids have the right to refuse requests."

Except she only goes by this motto when the request is extreme in nature, like if she feels that she is being objectified or sexualized... or told to take a hecking break.

She even says this:

Suggesting that, rather than just flatly telling Shuichi "No, I'm NOT burning this place tot he ground, are you out of your mind?" She asks him to "retract his statement." She asks him to hold the power over her, telling him that she would be willing to burn an entire building for him simply if he had a good enough reason for his "request" but also telling him that he has to be in control here. He has to retract his statement, she cannot simply refuse.

Analysis Exhibit #3: A "Go Don't Stop" Kind of Girl

Kirumi does take breaks, but she struggles with resting quite a lot.

Firstly:

Kirumi's likes and dislikes line up with her chosen profession--being a maid. She likes cleaning, but hates resting. With everything else above, I'm personally convinced that Kirumi more so likes to feel "useful" and dislikes to feel "useless." So if she works, she is considered "useful" to those around her.

Even when in a kidnapping situation, she is thinking of the others care and comfort:

While I'm sure Kirumi has escape on her mind, she is also trying to make accommodations for everyone else at the same time. Serving everyone else is just as important to her as escaping with her own life--something I'll further address in a moment, but for now:

This girl literally comprehend when someone just wants to hang out with her and talk to her as a person. Everything is about her being a maid, and she makes it pretty clear that her status as a maid comes before all else.

Now, about her life...

Analysis Exhibit #4: A Maid's Selfless Devotion (Verses the Trolley Problem)

Kirumi chose to die with everyone else whent he time limit was running out.

Despite there being no strings attached, despite there being a young man offering up his life for the others to take, everyone--herself included--refuses the offer. Why? Because in that moment, she is serving everyone in that group, to her detriment.

While the "We'd rather all die here than kill someone" sentiment is unspoken, there is proof that Kirumi is going with whatever the group as a whole wants:

Implying that, had everyone chosen to die at the time limit, she would have done so as well. It's more likely that she and everyone else would die fighting rather than sit back and let their deaths happen, but her life coming to an end was a very real possibility that she, as a very intelligent and logical person, weighed against everything and decided that saving herself via murder was not worth her own life.

This, of course, changes in chapter 2:

Because Kirumi is led to believe that her life, her service, is the only thing keeping a whole country safe.

Whereas before Kirumi's loyalty to the group was so solid that she didn't even fall to the temptation of murdering someone to escape, when she is presented with what is essentially the penultimate Trolley Problem, she goes and chooses the path that has the fewest casualties. Her choice between the V3 cast VS the entire nation of Japan is a very logical choice, almost a no-brainer. She even convinced herself that Ryoma was offering up his life to her after she confessed to him that she had too many reasons to escape from that hell of a school. He turned his back on her--and logically, he would never have done that if he had any self preservation left in him. That is her logic, her reasoning, her excuse to make her crime less egregious to herself and the others--but she had too much on her shoulders. She did what she thought needed to be done, and that was that.

Final Notes:

I'm not gonna lie, I came into this not expecting a whole lot.

From what I remember when I did my initial research on Kirumi, I thought that she had very little character to her. She was a Maid and that Was It. And it's sort of true--in canon and even in her FTEs, she's portrayed as nothing but a maid.

But her LSE and her Salmon Mode paint a slightly different picture of her--one of a lonely, neglected, abused girl who thinks extremely little of herself if she's not being useful. Someone who was taught that her feelings were rotten things and invalid, things that would only hinder other people and their potential. She works and works and works just to prove to herself that she's worth it. That she's as useful to as many people as she physically can be. She struggles with casual conversation, probably because she can't imagine anyone would want to talk to Kirumi Toujou, the person, and instead needs Kirumi Toujou, the Ultimate Maid for her services.

I think that this information being in extra game modes and buried under canon (plus a more accessible bonus mode) that did absolutely nothing for her character, I think Kirumi gets a bad reputation as a character who's got nothing else to her. Like I don't blame people who missed this information and/or thought nothing of it--in isolation, it's hard to pick up on/easily overlooked in favor of the characterization she got in the main canon story and even her FTEs.

I used to think that Kirumi wasn't much of a character--but now, I realized that's very, very wrong. She's more than just a maid! But you have to dig around and put the pieces together to actually see what's behind that perfect mask of hers.

#Kirumi Toujou #Kirumi Tojo #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 killing harmony #Analysis #Theory #Ramble #My brain is fried after this one #Got distracted a lot dnsajdnask #but now I feel much more inspired to write her!#Time to invent a juicy backstory for her hueueueue #(I'm gonna hurt her bad I'm gonna hurt her SO bad)

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