#but not written by me

[chenziee]

Krampus!Law AU

Young krampus Law coming to take Luffy to hell for being bad and instead ends up being non-consensually assimilated into Luffy's found family and he doesn't have enough energy as a person to fight it. (He's also too week to that smile but no one has to know that.) It goes downhill from there and they eventually get married and adopt twp cats and a little cerberus puppy (is not very little after a few months). Law only bothers to actually take Luffy to hell when Luffy's at the end of his lifespan so they can keep being happily married (in hell)

Law's grandpa Is Not Pleased™ but when did Law ever care what Sengoku has to say? He'll come around eventually anyway, he's too soft (Cora's words)

Cora is very supportive and he comes visit every sunday with meat freshly roasted over hell's fire (made by Baby 5 and Baarbara the hell-goat because Cora might be a krampus and he might live in hell but he is also NOT allowed anywhere near a fire)

Ace thinks Luffy dating a krampus is fucking hilarious. Sabo likes to threaten Law any chance he can get just for the hell of it but he actually kind of likes him

Garp also thinks it's fucking hilarious but he also threatens Law every time he sees him (and he means it)

Dadan is the one who accidentally called Law to take Luffy after the shitty little brat broke one too many of her favourite mugs, glasses, plates, chairs, and dining tables. She's not even surprised that, not only is Luffy still running around breaking things, but he's now also dragging this poor, poor tired krampus along. She apologises to Law for the first time 2 minutes after Law first steps into their house

(Law just sighs and glances at Luffy, who grins and waves at him excitedly, and Law then can do nothing but shrug and mumble something about "his life getting ruined and for what? A smile so bright it blinds him? How disgusting.")

(Dadan is not entirely sure how she feels about Law's disturbingly relaxed tone but she also isn't getting paid enough to deal with That™)

(That™ being a painfully obvious crush)

The Straw Hats are not even surprised when Luffy introduces his new krampus friend to them and they all just look at him, look at Luffy, look at each other, shrug, and that's it

It only occurs to them a week later that Law is from hell and can therefore share info on unexplored lands, powerful demons, exotic kitchen, unknown plants, funny bugs (a question that was not well received by some), different medicine technics, ancient, undiscovered relics, and--oh god do these questions ever stop?!

Bepo, Penguin and Shachi freak out for a moment but then they notice how happy Law looks talking about how much Luffy drives him crazy and that's about enough for them

(Shachi and Penguin like to whine and complain about how Law should take his stupid pining elsewhere, some of us are lonely, you ass)

(They also like to actively and loudly plan the wedding years before it even becomes an option for Law and Luffy. They do it to tease and bother Law but also because once it comes down to it, they WILL be ready)

Doffy is that one aunt who drops by once a year unannounced, tries to get all the dirt on everyone and everything, shares the dirt on everyone and everything (without being asked), and then fucks off and is never heard of again until the next time he decides it's time to bother his favourite nephew and his cute little boyfriend again just because he thinks Law's reactions are funny

(Law has to recover for a week after each and every one of Doffy's visits)

[sapphosdickandballs]

5 sexiest things a woman could wear

Full suit of armor

Just an oversized teeshirt

blood of her enemies

leather jacket

Super cool sword on her back

[ajaxgb]

Okay no I need to talk about the book version of Howl's Moving Castle. I love the movie but the book has such a different vibe and you, yes you, should read it.

Movie Howl is a soulful and quiet. Book Howl is a drama queen and Causing Problems and has a long string of jilted exes and couldn't shut up if you paid him.

Sophie and Howl drive each other up the wall at the beginning and it's really funny. Sophie and Howl are (despite themselves) very much in love by the end and they still drive each other up the wall and it's even funnier.

In the movie, Howl has been ordered by the king to participate in The War, and Howl is avoiding it because he is a brave conscientious objector. In the book, Howl has been ordered by the king to rescue his lost brother from the Witch of the Wastes, and Howl is avoiding it by any means necessary because he is a cowardly weasel who wants to stay as far from the Witch as possible.

In the movie, the Witch cursed Sophie because she was jealous about Howl speaking to Sophie for five minutes. In the book, the Witch cursed Sophie because Sophie had been doing surprisingly powerful magic for years without knowing it and it was actually starting to cut into the Witch's plans. (Sophie does not discover any of this until nearly the end of the book, but the reader can start to pick it up much earlier and the way Sophie's magic works is pretty darn cool.)

In the movie, there's a rumor that Howl eats the hearts of maidens, but this is implied to be nothing but nasty fearmongering. In the book, there's a rumor that Howl eats the hearts of maidens because Howl started the rumor so people would stop asking him to do wizard junk all the time.

The book lightly parodies a couple of tropes from Western fairy tales. In particular Sophie has internalized that, as the eldest of three sisters, her "destiny" is to fail so that her younger sisters will look cooler when they succeed, which is why she's so resigned to the hat shop at the beginning. (Sidebar: Sophie's sisters come up much more in the book and they're great.) There's also a really funny bit where Sophie attempts to operate a pair of seven-league boots.

In the movie, the fourth and final location that the magic door connects to is some sort of black void / mindscape / time portal dealy. In the book the fourth location is Wales, in the UK, on Earth, so that Howl can visit his family, because from Howl's perspective this is an isekai story.

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[emmeriex]

girls when they remember that sally named percy after the only greek hero with a happy ending and beryl named jason after a hero who died alone and unhappy to appease a wrathful goddess.

[christadeguchi]

fascinated/horrified by this set of tweets…

[formerlybutchpoet]

I'm like if a chivalrous knight kissed a fair maiden's hand and said "my lady, I fight for you" and then walked off and immediately tripped over his own armor and fell on the ground

[emptyjunior]

Enough random notes that have a written story on them as environmental storytelling, explore the space, get crazier with it.

You move into a house and aw cute, it has the kids height on the walls but you notice there's a three foot difference in height between measurements, you check the date, they're a month apart. The final measurement is on the ceiling. It's dated two days ago.

You're part of a recovery team that have finally found a stranded ship, they were found too late and have all passed a long time ago. They all died of starvation. You enter their storeroom, it's filled with food. In the dining hall you find the tables laden with perfectly fine looking breads, cakes, cured meats, jams, candies. Your medic says all the people sitting at the table didn't eat a Thing.

You wake up in an apocalypse. You can't find anyone at all as you wander the streets but you do hear faint music playing from somewhere. You stumble into a supermarket, to see all the aisles still full, except for the shelf that was full of ear plugs, which look to be the only thing that was looted.

Like there's light, sound, props. Having a street where every house is decimated except for One. Landing on a planet known for having No Water and a plant is growing and you don't know where it could have possibly gotten moisture from but you can't find the citizens Anywhere.

I'm sorry, I'm just kinda over the "graffiti on the wall to show the bad guy is around". That's not environmental storytelling that's just normal story. Show me I'm in the villains territory by the rain suddenly cutting out above me as I'm driving, even though it's meant to be raining all night. I park the car and step out, and realise the constellations are Wrong, until I see they're Not constellations, they're the blinking lights of a massive ship-

I Will stop now because everytime I go to write a sentence it devolves into another prompt but I'm just saying we have a Lot of senses, engage them, show me the Environment in environmental storytelling.

[penny-anna]

fanfiction writers when a character is remotely non-human

[hymyarts]

"We Myrmidons are not the sentimental type."

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Has anyone seen/written any fics where Danny is so used to being an overpowered menace that danger doesn't even register the same for him anymore. Like he's gone against the likes of undergrowth and vortex, he's obviously not going to be intimidated by a middle aged man with sweaty hands pointing a gun at him.

It's all fine until he leaves Amity and starts being put in mildly dangerous situations that don't bother him at all but everyone around him looks super freaked out? And it can range from like being mugged or one of the DC superheroes facing one of their supervillains while all the civilians run away and Danny just keeps going full on ignoring cause not his circus, not his monkeys, but still.

And then he realizes that his reaction is abnormal and people are starting to stare and he doesn't need the extra attention on him but knows he can't act for shit so he just goes for the most deadpan sarcasm he can muster and goes all "oh, nooooo. This is so bad. I am SO scared." And it just makes the stares worse but by then he's committed to the bit and will throw gradually more concerning stuff about his past in conversations with the most dead expression just to see how far he can take it until someone confronts him about it.

[tigersorange]

“this female character is badly written” [loud incorrect buzzer] you would love this exact same character if she were a man

[beif0ngs]

alright look, i just wanna know who is the writer that came up with the dumbass idea of replacing the line “Ever since I lost my son, I think of you as my own” with “Lu Ten would have been proud to have you as his father” in this scene for the Netflix live action series???

[mithrun-house-of-kerensil]

It made me so emotional the kindness the party treated Thistle with again and again throughout the story. Laios never wanted to hurt him even though he, in a way, took Laios's sister from him. Marcille wanted to talk to Thistle about magic even as he attacked them. Laios could have killed him but he chose to reason with him even as Thostle resisted. The party didn't abandon his body when he got eaten, they tucked him into bed like he was just sleeping. Yaad went back for his body so he wasn't left in the rumble. Laios, in the middle of the celebrations, went to check on him in hopes he would get his desires back the way Mithrun discovered he could. Oh the love in the world!!! The narrative that anyone can be taken advantage when alone and the only way to help is kindness and care!!!

To eat is to live but to eat together is to be loved.

[magicpiano]

DCXDP AU where Batman is one of the few survivors of the apocalypse from The Ultimate Enemy.

Danny meets Batman when trapped in the future and is shocked that Batman doesn't think he is too evil to be saved. Together they make a plan to stop his other self. Before Danny leaves, Batman gives him a secret code and tells him that if he needs help, he should go find Bruce Wayne.

Well Danny doesn't really plan on doing that, but after some event (his family dies again, a bad ghost reveal, the GIW, ect.) he finds himself running to Gotham.

Danny gets to Wayne Manor, gives the code word and says, "this is going to sound crazy, but I met Batman in the post apocalypse via time travel, and he told me to find you if I need help."

To Danny's surprise everyone immediately believes him. The kids take one look at him and know they have a new sibling.

[yeoldenews]

A selection of strange and cryptic personal ads from The New York Herald, 1860s to 1890s. 14/?