#but not knowing for sure is the worst part of this‚ i think. i know he's hurting‚ and he knows i know what it's like to lose a parent

[hotcupoteckla]

Do people not understand catharsis?

Do people not understand thought process displacement?

Are people not aware that readers used to actively seek out books that made you feel and think deeply about things as a form of brain exercise?

Like why, why do you think it is when you watch movies or books set way back in time that the characters who read are bullied by the hypermachismo holders and are called "sissies"?

Because books enabled readers to cry, and crying allows a person's emotional resiliency to build, and hyper machismo holders hate it when other people have emotional resilience, because they don't have it.

Sometimes a deeply saddening thing occurs so quickly you cannot process it, because if your brain processed it right in that moment, you would stop functioning as a living being.

So you feel numb, and go through the motions, until you're safer and you start to feel happier again.

Then you read a book about a character losing someone dear to them, or how they survived child abuse, and your brain unlocks at least part of your experience in your crying and expression of catharsis on behalf of the character.

You cry and things feel better, and you're not as likely to shutdown over a memory overwhelming you when you least expect it.

AND if you are so lucky as to have not encountered anything so heart-rendingly awful yet, YOUR BRAIN IS STILL HELPED.

It now has an example to compare to when you do encounter deeply traumatizing events, and can cite the book as an example of "they moved past this style of event, I believed it possible for them, I can do it too."

Like maybe the character had magic to help them, but usually - it's not the magic that gets you out of a bad situation.

It's working with a friend, or listening to good advice from someone knowledgeable.

It's helping someone in need as you see it happen, without any thought of it being returned.

It's stopping your distress and thinking of a solution with the resources you have at hand.

It's convincing your jailer that this is unjust for everyone.

The triumph in spite of bad things happening to us is the Part that builds resiliency, and that cannot happen without a whumph getting in the way.

Like sure, the authors can make it so your favorite character that is the stand in for who you desire to be doesn't die, but would it be as compelling to read without that risk of loss?

If it was just rainbows and sunshine all of the time for everyone, wouldn't you just be reading another "billionaires get everything they want" story?

Not every book is going to be for you.

Did I throw The Last Battle across the room after C.S. Lewis decided to kill off Susan's Entire Family (we're talking 20+ funerals from a train crash before their family reunion) and then Victim Blamed Her for Not Believing in Aslan anymore? You betcha.

Did I think that sucked? Yes..100%

Did it serve his story? ...as loathe as I am to admit it, yes, he wanted to drive home the Christian Allegory and make Susan out to be a pragmatic adult, but one who lost faith in the stories of their childhood. We're supposed to feel less sympathy for her as she turned into a snooty Karen like mother to her kids. Her kids were on the train, as was her husband.

So do I hate C.S. Lewis? No, but I know now that he's willing to sacrifice anything in his story to make a point about faith and Christianity.

And all the Blorbo-Defenders from upthread really need to read more books if they think the WORST thing you can do to a character or your readership is kill a character off.

Sometimes, the worst thing you can do to a character is leave them as the Lone Survivor.

And it's better to experience it in a book, to become a more resilient person. To have catharsis built into your escape.

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

[lxvemaze]

THE ART OF LOVE

chapter 016.

series masterlist

<<previous chapter | epilogue

SERIES SYNOPSIS. when chris texted an artist he found on instagram with the hopes of them designing an album cover for him, he never expected to fall head over heels in love with them.

PAIRING. bangchan x reader

WC. 4k

CHAPTER TAGS. written

CHAPTER WARNINGS. written from bangchan's pov, one out of pocket jisung comment (but not really), sad sad sad, but then happy happy happy, i'm delusional so i gave art girl my favorite coffee order

A/N. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER I'M LITERALLY GOING TO CRYYYYYYYYY THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING THIS SERIES IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. I HOPE YOU ALL LOVE THIS CHAPTER AND KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE EPILOGUE 🫶(also, i'm sorry if this is lowkey ass, i had to rewrite it bc my laptop hates me)

Cold was the only word on Chris’ mind as he woke from his nap in the green room. The group was doing an early-morning promotion, and Chris had gotten far less sleep the previous night than he would have liked. But how could he have gotten any sleep in this city? How could he have gotten any sleep knowing that he’s in the same city as her?

Every day of the past year, Chris had been doing nothing more than simply going through the motions. Every moment felt like it was draped in a haze, his life that was once clear and bright now felt blurred and dull. Chris’ whole being was constantly consumed by the guilt of knowing that she was out there, thinking about him.

He’d never intended for it to go as far as it did. When he first messaged her, he’d just recently been broken up with, and was trying to work through those emotions through the creation of a new album. The cover of the album was supposed to be symbolic, a visual representation of him letting his former lover go. How could he have expected to fall in love with the person he paid to depict it?

Even after his company had told him that they didn’t approve the artist, that she was a liability, that she could damage his career, he still held on. He didn’t tell her until it was too late. And that selfish action was enough to ruin not just himself, but also his younger brothers who’d grown to care for her like family, His best friend Hyunjin who loved her the same as Chris. But the worst part of it was that he knew it had ruined her the most.

Chris tried to tell himself that his feelings for her were just a fluke, that he was just lonely or desperate or something. That he’d get over her eventually. But how could that be true when a whole year later, she was still the only thing on his mind?

Chris went throughout his day as mindlessly as he usually did, wordlessly letting the stylists fix him up, bringing life back into his face that had slightly sunken and paled over the past twelve months. He gave polite smiles to the staff, answered interview questions as intelligently as his dazed brain could, and tried his best to be a good leader to his brothers- an area he felt he’d been trying to improve in lately.

After she left, Chris’ relationship with his entire group had been strained. His actions had tainted the smart, strong, caring older brother image that they’d had of him in their minds, and he was doing all he could to restore it. Oddly enough, his relationship with Hyunjin had improved greatly after the events of the previous year. They had a certain understanding of each other's actions that the others simply couldn’t see.

The younger members had slowly come back around to Chris- Jeongin slowest of all. Jeongin arguably had the closest relationship with The Artist, and Chris’ selfishness had hurt him so badly, Chris wasn’t sure that their relationship would recover.

And yet, slowly but surely, Jeongin came back around to him. In fact, Jeongin had been on Chris’ tail all morning long. Over the twelve hours that the group was on set, Jeongin had been by Chris’ side for roughly eleven of those hours. The two were planning on going to some cafe that Jeongin had recommended after the long day of promotions. If Chris were to tell the truth, he’d say that he was much too tired to go anywhere after promotions. He wanted a nap. SO badly. But fixing his strained relationship with Jeongin took precedence over his already suffering sleep schedule.

“You ready to go?” Jeongin peeked his head into the green room as Chris slowly rose from his seat, groaning and stretching his aching limbs. “Good thing we’re going to a cafe. You look like you could use some coffee.” Jeongin giggled as Chris followed him out of the small room and into the hallway. Chris nodded along, rubbing his eyes and letting the younger man lead him towards the front door, silently thanking him with a nod as Jeongin handed him a mask, immediately placing it over his face before they exited the building.

Chris stared out the window from the backseat of one of the staff members' cars, absently wondering if she was sitting in one of the dozens of cars they sped past. Chris didn’t know what he’d do if he saw her. Maybe he’d turn and run the other direction, maybe he’d immediately call his management to tell them that he’s quitting to run away with her. Or maybe he’d just stand there like an idiot.

The events of the past year had sparked a lot of conversation between the staff and members of the group, especially with their contract renewal coming up in just a few weeks. No one wanted another “Artist situation” as the staff were calling it. Chris didn’t know what they were thinking. Whether it be changing their contract to allow dating, or putting them on an even stricter ban, he didn’t much care. He genuinely didn’t know if he’d be able to find it in him to love anyone else for a long time.

On the other side of the car, Jeongin was practically vibrating with excitement as he stared at his phone, scrolling through the DMs he’d sent to his favorite person. He quietly giggled to himself as he opened his navigator app and saw that they were a mere ten minutes from reuniting with the person that had consumed their every waking moment of the past year.

“What are you laughing at?”

Jeongin reflexively shoved his phone in his pocket, folding his hands on his lap before looking up at his older brother in what he hoped was a very non-suspicious way. “...Nothing. Jisung texted me something.”

“Of course.” Chris chuckled, leaning his head against the window again. “What did he say this time?”

“Uh…” Jeongin took his phone out of his pocket, pretending to scroll through his texts for a moment while he attempted to think of something that could have come from Jisung’s foul mouth. “Something about…sucking dick?”

Jeongin saw Chris nod from the corner of his eye, sighing internally that he hadn’t seemed to pick up on what was happening yet.

The truth was, Chris had noticed Jeongin acting weird- Hyunjin too, for that matter. He figured it was just the time of year. It was just after the one-year anniversary of her leaving, and everyone had been dealing with it in their own way.

Minutes later, the staff member in the driver's seat pulled to the sidewalk and informed the two that they had arrived. They thanked the driver and stepped out of the car, looking around and taking in the sight of all the boujee boutiques, cafes, and bakeries on the downtown street.

“Is this it?” Chris pointed just down the street to one of the cuter shops of the street; a quaint little cafe/bookstore combo with numerous plants in the window and comfy looking seats inside. Jeongin nodded with a lopsided grin plastered on his face. The two started towards the cafe before Jeongin stopped in his tracks, smacking his forehead with his palm and exclaiming,

“Ohh wait a second!”

Chris turned to his younger friend, quirking an eyebrow at him as Jeongin looked down the street behind him. “What?”

“I forgot that I need to grab…a thing…from a store. You go ahead and order, I’ll be right back! Get me a peppermint frappuccino!” Jeongin called to Chris as he ran back down the street the way they came, leaving Chris absolutely dumbfounded at his friend's sudden exit.

Chris sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking in the direction Jeongin ran, and back over his shoulder to the cafe, mentally debating on whether to chase after his mischievous friend or to just go into the cafe and order an americano before he fainted in the middle of the sidewalk.

After little mental debate, he decided on the latter. The inside of the cafe was just as charming as the outside, comfortable mismatched heavily-cushioned seats surrounded several dark brown tables. Tall bookshelves adorned every wall, with paintings made by local artists filling any gaps left by the shelves.

There was a fairly long line stemming from the coffee bar in the back of the shop, Chris noticed as he stopped behind a girl with unnaturally colored hair that the menu didn’t have Jeongin’s requested order. He figured he’d just order a hot chocolate with a peppermint espresso shot.

The line was moving slowly, even though people sat down to claim a table after they ordered, it felt like the line wasn’t progressing at all. Chris glanced around the shop again and at all the different patrons scattered around. It seemed to be a hot spot for the local hipsters. As Chris’ gaze danced over all the different people in line, his eyes were quickly drawn to the keychain on the bag of the girl in front of him. 

When Hyunjin had taken her to the art museum back in Seoul, she’d gotten one that looked exactly like it. She said it was her favorite thing that she’d bought during her whole trip. Chris hadn’t realized the line had moved on without him until the person behind him tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to move forward.

Before he knew it, it was the girl with the colored hair’s turn to order. Apparently, she needed a moment as she stood in silence for a moment, looking up at the menu behind the counter, much to the chagrin of the barista at the register.

“Could I please get a lavender oat milk latte?”

It felt like Chris had been decked in the face with a bag of cinder blocks as she spoke. 

Any and all thoughts had immediately abandoned his mind as the barista rang her up and she thanked the worker in the sweet tone that Chris knew all too well.

Chris’s heart ached at the sweet smile on her face as she turned around. However, the smile quickly faded as she saw the man that had been standing behind her. The two stood in equally stunned silence as they took each other in. Chris’ eyes trailed down The Artist’s frame, quickly taking in the fact that she was paler and thinner than he’d remembered. The Artist noticed the same about him.

“Excuse me, you two are holding up the line.” The barista spoke from behind the counter, her annoyed tone prompting The Artist to turn around and flash her an apologetic smile, and gently place her hand on Chris’ bicep, leading him out of the line.

Chris’ eyes didn’t leave her face as she was looking seemingly anywhere but him. She cleared her throat nervously, Chris’ eyes burning into her face.

“Do you wanna sit down?”

Chris nodded before she silently led him to the table for two by the front window, placing her bag over the back of one of the seats and sitting down, folding her hands on top of the table.

Chris sat across from her, and the two sat in silence.

Chris could hear her shaky uneven breaths, and noticed her folded hands shaking on the table. It took everything in his to not reach over and hold them in his own.

“I saw the painting.”

Her eyes glanced up to meet his as he spoke, but she looked away as quickly as their eyes met. “I was hoping you had.”

Another bout of silence.

“So…” Chris sighed, running a hand through his hair before mirroring her position and folding his hands on the table, his fingers mere centimeters from hers. “What are you doing here?”

“Well…I was supposed to meet a potential client.” She was a lot quieter than Chris remembered.

“That could’ve been dangerous.”

“Yeah, well…I haven’t been out much lately. Figured this would be a good opportunity.”

More silence followed her statement, the pit of guilt in Chris’ stomach clawing at him from the inside. Her reasoning for being here, her visibly sunken appearance, her hair…

“You changed your hair.” She looked up at him again, her eyes remaining on his this time as she reached up instinctively to touch the colored locks, a small smile gracing her face.

“Oh yeah…Just trying something out, I guess.”

“I like it.”

The smile quickly dropped from her face at Chris’ words, her eyes looking down at her lap once more. Chris sighed and leaned back in his seat. What the hell should he say? ‘I’m sorry’? ‘I still love you’? ‘Let’s run away together’? Although he sincerely felt every one of those statements, none of them could express how he felt. None of those would make up for the pain and sadness that he’d inflicted on her, himself, and those closest to him. He was stuck. This has to be hell.

“So, is your company not as fucked up anymore, or are you breaking the rules just by sitting here right now?”

Her words caused an unprompted laugh to escape Chris’ mouth. He shook his head and ran a hand over his face, taking a steadying breath before looking back at the woman across from him. She was still so pretty.

“No, I probably shouldn’t be here right now. Jeongin and I were just going to get a cup of coffee and-” Jeongin. Of course he did. “That little fucker” Chris sighed, looking out the window for any sign of the scheming young man.

The Artist across from him stared in confusion, “Jeongin? Where is he?”

“He…went to grab something before coming here. I don’t know. We’re here for a schedule and probably forgot something at home.”

“Chris…are we just not going to talk about-”

“Let’s just leave.”

“...What?” She stared at him completely dumbfounded by his words, his eyes staring intently into hers, completely unwavering.

“Let’s go.” He repeated softly, reaching his hands over to grab her own. “I can’t do this anymore. You have no idea how badly I missed you. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I have spent every minute of every day regretting the fact that I didn’t fight for you. The regret of putting my career and my company before you has been eating me alive. I thought I could get over it, but I can’t. Seeing you again made me realize that. So let’s just leave.”

“Chris, you can’t do that to the kids.”

“We’ll take them with us. All of us can just live together in a secluded cabin somewhere.”

“You know we can’t do that. I know you know we can’t.”

Chris sighed and ran his thumbs over her knuckles, her bright pink nail polish peeking through the gaps of his hand. “I know. I just can’t say goodbye again.”

“Chris, I love you. I could never stop loving you. I just don’t know what to do.” Chris’ hands left at the Artist’s words. His eyes hadn’t left hers since he started speaking, and he’d noticed the tears starting to well in the corners.

“I’m supposed to be renewing my contract soon. I’ll tell them…I’ll convince them to let this happen. I don’t give a fuck about the company anymore. I can live without them. I can just start over. But I can’t live without you and start over with someone else.”

“God, Chris, I want nothing more than to be with you. But the last thing I ever wanted was for me to hold you back in any way.” She took a deep breath, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She opened her mouth to continue, but the two were startled out of their seats by a loud pounding on the window next to them. They turned to see the source of the noise, and saw Jeongin pressed against the window, waving excitedly. As soon as he was sure the two saw him, he immediately ran into the shop and made a beeline for The Artist, giving her a tight hug that nearly knocked her out of her seat.

“I missed you so much.” The boy cried as she stood up to return his hug properly, neither of them caring about the other patrons of the cafe side-eyeing them.

“I knew it was you.” Her voice cracked as her arms tightened around him, not minding the feeling of his shoulders shaking with his sobs, or the warm tears on her shoulder as he pressed his face into her neck.

Chris watched with a sad smile on his face as he watched the two embrace. Eventually, Jeongin pulled away from The Artist and turned to Chris, stretching his arm out, prompting Chris to wrap his arms around the two people who meant the most to him. His whole world.

ONE YEAR LATER…

“We’ll make it work.” Chris sighed as he pressed his lips into The Artist’s hair. “We can’t lose you.”

“Chan! Where’s my suitcase?” Jeongin called out from the living room, the sound of him stomping around the room was clear even where Chris stood in the kitchen.

“Minho put all the suitcases in the foyer.” Chris replied as he rushed to finish packing the bag of snacks from home for their long journey.

“Chan! Do you have an extra tote bag?” Felix asked as he passed through the kitchen.

“I think in the laundry room.”

“I don’t know where that is! Why the hell did you have to move into this giant house?”

“Because, they’re leaving room for growth. Chan and Art Babe go at it like, 24/7. They’re gonna end up with twelve kids by the time they’re forty. Surprised they haven't made an announcement yet. Laundry room is all the way down the hall and to the left, by the way.” Jisung mused as he strolled in, taking an apple from the fruit bowl.

“Shut up, Jisung!” Hyunjin yelled from the top of the staircase.

“I’m home!” A voice called from the foyer, prompting Chris’ head to pop up like a meerkat. Felix and Jisung rolled their eyes affectionately at their older brothers’ demeanor before Felix went to find the laundry room.

“Speak of the devil.” Jisung grinned, taking a large bite of apple as she entered the room, placing the grocery bags that adorned her arms on the counter, rolling her eyes at her friend.

“I don’t wanna know.” She sighed and she walked around the counter, placing a kiss to Chris’ cheek before washing her hands. “You guys heading to the airport soon?”

“Yeah, in about ten minutes, as long as everyone can find their stuff in time.” He ran his hand across her lower back as he passed her on his way to the pantry.

“Alright, I’m gonna go wait in the foyer just in case you two decide to start banging on the counter.” Jisung pulled a faux-disgusted face at the two, tossing his finished apple in the garbage and promptly making his exit.

“He loves us, really.” The Artist sighed as she dried her hands. Chris hummed in agreement and he shoved the last few items in the bag and zipped it up. “Oh!” She exclaimed, rushing to the fridge, taking out eight small tupperware and sorting them out on the counter. “I made meals for you all to eat on the plane. I know it’s not a long flight, but I know the kids all hate that airline’s food, so I figured they’d appreciate it.”

Chris smiled softly as his lover as she spoke enthusiastically about the individual meals that she’d prepared for their friends, the diamond on her left hand shimmering in the light. They’d been living together for six months now, and had been cherishing every second of it. Chris was thankful for every second that he got to spend with her. Just ten months ago, he had fought his company tooth and nail for his and his members rights to their own privacy. With the majority of their staff backing them and the fact that they’d all agreed to not renew their contracts if the company didn’t agree, there was nothing left for them to do.

After they’d successfully gotten their conditions written into their contract, Chris and his Artist were finally free to love each other as they always had. She moved into an apartment in Seoul a few months later, and not long after that, she and Chris bought their first house together. Just a week after that, Chris proposed. After a year of being apart, they realized that they didn’t want to waste a single second.

“Chan! The van’s here!” Changbin poked his head into the kitchen, giving a little wave to The Artist.

“Hey! Tell everyone to come in here and grab their dinner.” She addressed Changbin, who immediately nodded and gave her a little salute before turning and relaying the message to the others. She turned to her fiance, who was leaning on the counter, his eyes still on her. She leaned over the counter and gave him a soft kiss, bringing her hand up to run her hands through his curls that he’d been taking such great care of lately. “You’ll make sure they get their dinners into their carry-ons?”

“Of course.” He whispered against her lips, pressing a short kiss to them before pulling away and grabbing the tupperware marked with his name.

All at once, the seven other men in the house stormed into the kitchen like a stampede. One-by-one, they grabbed their dinners and hugged The Artist, bidding her goodbye and telling her they loved her before rushing out of the house and into the van that awaited them outside.

“I put the brushes I borrowed back into your art room, and I noticed you had some brushes soaking, so I put them on the mat to dry.” Hyunjin, who was the last to leave, informed The Artist and they embraced.

“I appreciate you. See you when you get back.” She patted his back and smiled sweetly at him as they pulled back. He returned the smile and turned to leave, giving her one last wave over his shoulder before exiting the home.

Chris waited before he heard the front door close before walking around the counter to his lover and pulling her in for a tight hug, his hands holding her close as his lips pressed into her hair, breathing in her scent before he had to leave. “I love you so much, my beautiful girl.”

She pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes, smiling at him, her gaze filled with nothing but adoration. She leaned in once more to give him another lingering kiss, making sure she wouldn’t forget the taste of his lips anytime soon. “I love you, too. My beautiful man.”

“I’ll see you in a few weeks.” His hands went down to her own, holding them gently, his thumb running over the beautiful rock on her finger.

“Go have fun. Keep an eye on those kids.”

He chuckled and pressed his lips to her cheek quickly, grabbing the tupperware back off the counter. “You know I will. I love you.”

“I love you. Now get out of my house.” She gave his back a light push and followed him to the front door as he giggled.

“Hey.” He turned around, his hand on the door handle. “It’s our house.”

She couldn’t resist pecking him once more as he opened the front door. “Our house.”

He gave her a look that could only be described as pure love before turning and rushing towards the van. She stood out on the front porch, seeing the boys in the van waving at her through the window as the van pulled away from the sidewalk and drove off.

Her heart didn’t ache as the van drove out of sight. Because she knew that they would come back. That she’d never have to truly be without them again. Because they were family. And no one could take that away.

TAGLIST.

@nightmarenyxx @seungmincenteric @brbwritingfanfic @hanniesdegree @queenofviolenceandnerds @jennibahng @steddie-steddie @boofheadeily @weird-bookworm @bookishcaptain @sincerely-sun @vxllxnsworld @staytinyluv @ruth-odyssey @ravengxbss @hanniemylovelyquokka @thedistractedwriter @lixies-favorite-cookie @chrizrizz @stilldontknowhoiam @jazziwritesthings @s0mflwr @lostidiot24 @seungzsmin @soaplickerrr @youreyeson1y @mbioooo0000 @seungminsapuppy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @missvanjii @dailyyhyvne @skzaholix @starzystay @my-neurodivergent-world @hyunjinswrld @momhwa1117 @divineinsanity @rakshithanotrao @thatgirlangelb @sona1800 @mehli-00 @sukss @justiceforvillains @starlostastronaut @stephanieeeyang @reallychaoticwoo @finnbbl @borahae-reads @hopelesromanticy @crownj1min

[the-medieval-husbands]

It just keeps happening.....

Merlin doesn't know if he wants to stop it, or if he should? And the worst part is Arthur doesn't even notice he's kissed him.

First time:

After dinner, Merlin cleared the plates, then returned to ready the royal clotpole for bed. After making sure he was dressed in his sleep shirt, Arthur simply leaned down and gave him the lightest kiss, turned and started getting into bed, saying goodnight. He could see the moment it clicked in Arthurs head, yet he just kept going. Merlin excused himself and the next morning nobody mentioned it.

Second time:

Before his tournament match against sir chamberlain, Merlin was putting on his armor.

"Please Arthur. You need to listen. Be quick. Don't underestimate him. I watched him train." Merlin pleaded.

Arthur leaned in and cut off any further words with a kiss. "I'll be fine love. Now hand me my sword."

In a daze Merlin retrieves the sword and hands it off, turning back to Around seeing on his face that he again knows what he's done. They need to talk about this but not now. Not before he goes out there. So Arthur nods once, and walks out of the tent.

3rd time :

Duke Bohun would not leave him alone. Everywhere Merlin looked, there he was. Honestly it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so handsy. The amount of times thay Merlin has had to subtly remove himself from groping range is getting out of hand. He's just glad Arthur hadn't seen...... Or we'll, was glad.

The Duke was seated next to Arthur at the farewell banquet, which meant that while Merlin was ensuring that Arthurs cup was always full, Lord Bohun would have plenty of grab time.

Maybe if he approached from the other side?

As the night wore on, and the wine seated in their stomachs and minds, it also loosened their lips.

"That is a lovely man servant you have there. I don't suppose you'd lend him to me for a night? I promise I'd return him just as I received him." Duke Bohun slurred while leering in his direction.

"Lord Bohun, I don't know how things are done elsewhere. But here in Camelot our servants are people, not objects. We do not give them away, nor lend them for a night." Arthur could feel himself getting more and more angry with every word.

Before the situation could escalate further Merlin out a gentle hand on Arthur shoulder.

Taking that as a sign, Arthur took a deep breath. " If you'll excuse me, I think it's best that I retire for the night." he turns to his man servant "Merlin"

"Coming sire"

No sooner are they in the hall does Arthur have Merlin against a wall and locked in one of the most passionate moments he's ever experienced. Arthur is holding Merlin like he might lose him.

Slowly they part. Merlin strokes the back of Arthurs head gently. As soon as their breathing returns to normal, Arthurs entire body tenses in realization.

Merlin, instead of getting mad gently lifts his head to look at him. They stare intently. He can see how scared Arthur is.

Merlin leans forward, and for the first time, he kisses him.

"It's okay." he gently tugs on the hair on the back of his head. Not hard. Just enough to show that he's in the moment with him.

Arthur smiles.

[rosiewitchescottage]

Dylan Mulvaney is a 'female impersonator'. If he was honest about that, I'd have no issue with it. It's not like this is a new thing.

I won't refer to him as a trans woman, because he's making little effort to look and sound like a FEMALE.

FEMALE is the essence of womanhood. Don't expect to be seen as a woman, if you don't look and sound as though you may be female. (Even the butchest of lesbians are clearly female. And make sure to be seen as such.)

A trans woman remains male, however. So any gynecologist worthy of respect should know that she/he will either need to learn how to treat male specific or manufactured body parts, or send the trans woman to a colleague who can meet her medical needs.

Dylan Mulvaney is a hyper feminine caricature. And that would be OK. But for the fact that he expects to be welcomed in women's single sex spaces.

I don't begrudge this because I suspect him of being a threat. I don't think that he is, at all. In fact I think that the majority are not.

Aside from the ones who loudly make threats, so should expect to be taken at their word and vilified accordingly.

But we should be providing some base line standard to be met.

Right now, without any standard at all. We're allowing the very worst of men to get access to women's spaces, on the tails of the minority that actually need to be there, plus a whole lot of very feminine men (Dylan included) and probably a fair few that are just taking the piss, because they know they'll get away with it.

Simply by us maintaining that all it takes is for a man to say 'I'm a Woman'.

What else were we expecting to happen, pray tell?

This approach comes from Queer Theory, and that doesn't give a damn about the safety of women or trans women, because it ultimately aims to eradicate The Gender Binary altogether.

Blurring the lines that define manhood and womanhood are merely a step in that direction.

Here it plainly talks about gender as a mere social performance.

How can we protect the sex based rights of women, if we take Women = Female out of the equation?

That's really not a good look for a gynecologist.

[thequeenofsastiel]

Well that episode was QUITE the emotional roller-coaster and broke my heart into tiny tiny pieces. This is the first ep in which I started to genuinely think that Kant had feelings for Bison. The LOOK on his face when he saw Bison felt like an entirely real emotion. I loved it, even though it hurt me.

Jfc, the fact that it took finding out that Style was betraying him for Fadel to fully admit his true feelings about Style was fucking heartbreaking. Because Fadel was just faced with the idea that Style's affection for him at no point was real. That Style had been faking it the whole time. And the worst part is that Style was ABSOLUTELY faking it at first. Sure, he found Fadel attractive, but he didn't actually like him. He harassed him and tried to win his heart for a goddamn car. He never would have tried to date Fadel on his own. Sure, I think he definitely did eventually fall for Fadel, but it was indeed an act at first. Fadel doesn't know the real reason why, but he does know that it was at some point an act, he just doesn't actually know for how long. And neither he nor Bison have any reason to believe that Style or Kant had genuine feelings for them. But they did. It was simply that those feelings weren't strong enough to risk getting in trouble with the law themselves, which is ENTIRELY understandable.

I'm very interested to see where they go from here and how Style and Kant prove that their feelings actually were real at the end. I imagine it'll take them sacrificing themselves in some way for Fadel and Bison. I'm not sure. They were just so good at pretending that they weren't betraying Fadel and Bison. I can't imagine what Style could do that would ever make Fadel trust him entirely, nor Kant. Anyone have any ideas?

10/10

[librarygarten]

I don't think I'm the only one who thinks Wars was an asshole? Like, is the reader supposed to have -known- they were actually controlling somone? The world they were from, the Links aren't real, right? And here he is instantly blaming them for playing something they'd only know as a game, cruelly making them cry and being just all around awful. I hope someone calls him out on it.

Sorry, nonnie :( Wars was indeed an asshole, but his game would probably one of the worst to live through. He had to watch his men die in a war that turned out to be some sort of sick entertainment for an interdimensional being. Add to that his whole... situation with Cia, and he's not thrilled with the idea that reader might have just. Over-written his free will while playing the game. Don't worry, Twilight will beat up Wars on your behalf <3

#2 Chain x Speedrunner! Deity! Isekai! Reader - Who's in Control?

Part 2 includes Sky, Twilight, and Legend Part 1 ✿ Part 2 (you are here) ✿ Part 3

When you first fell through the portal and joined the chain on their quest, you had revealed that they were only stories in your world. It had taken a while for them to understand the concept of a video game, and even longer for them to come to terms with the fact that some of the most traumatic events of their lives were reduced to children’s entertainment. However, as they talked with you, they came to another horrifying discovery: YOU were their “player.” Your actions in your world, the decisions you made while playing the games, directly influenced their own lives. What’s more, you were a speedrunner.

Sky

“Hey, Y/N?” Sky approaches you at camp, wringing his hands nervously. He won’t meet your gaze. “Did… did I do something to make you mad?”

“What?” You think back on your last few interactions. You hadn’t been treating him any differently. Unless you were somehow a jerk and didn’t even know it? You have been pretty sleep-deprived lately. “No. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that…” He trails off, clearly not sure how to approach this topic. He takes a breath and tries again. “You kind of controlled us during our adventures, right?”

Well, crap.

“I think so? I’m not really sure how it works.” Now you’re the one that won’t look him in the eyes. “My influence on you guys is still… weird to think about.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. Learning the existence of your free will was questionable at best was not a great feeling. “But you controlled everything we did, right?”

“Not necessarily!” You can feel the sweat dripping down your neck. “Talking to some of the others, maybe you guys could influence me, too? Like, Four said he felt scared during the final fight, and that’s the same time that I messed up with the controls!”

Sky hums, as if agreeing. It’s clear he doesn’t believe it.

“But you’re the one that made me jump off that post in Skyloft.” He says quietly. He’s not angry. He just seems sad, honestly. “And then… Fi was there all of a sudden? I can’t remember exactly. Everything seemed so… out of order?”

You swallow the glob of spit in your throat. He was talking about the Back in Time glitch. How did he even remember that? It requires two save files and to move around while in the menu.

“You remember that?” You yelp. “Shoot, I’m so, so sorry. That’s a glitch to make the game faster. I swear, I had known you weren’t just a video game I would have never-”

“It’s fine.” He interrupts, giving a weak smile. “I’m used to it.”

“Used to what?” You ask, but he walks away. He disappears between the trees, and you’re left staring at the empty clearing full of camping equipment.

“...Used to what?” You whisper to yourself.

Twilight

“Y’alright?” Twilight asks you. He’d found you a ways away from camp, curled up agains the side of a tree. You sniff, wiping your eyes but not meeting his gaze.

“Peachy,” you say sarcastically, but your voice cracks, and it sounds more pathetic than anything else. He sits down next to you.

“Rupee for your thoughts?” He smiles. When you don’t respond, he leans forward, trying to get a look at your face. “You know you can talk to me, right? Or I could be Wolfie, if that would be easier? Dog therapy is a thing right? Wolf therapy is just a few degrees removed from that.”

“Don’t go transforming for my sake.” You snicker, finally turning your head to look at him. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying. “It’s nothing. No need for you to get worked up over it.”

“It is very clearly not ‘nothing’.” His eyebrows furrow. “Did one of the others say something? I swear if Legend was giving you grief again–”

“No, nobody said anything. It’s just a lot of things, I guess…” You explain hesitantly. “Like, I got sucked through a random portal and suddenly a bunch of game characters are real. And what’s worse is the things I did in the game actually happened to them? Does that apply to every game I’ve played? What about when I stopped playing a game? Or deleted a save file?” You thread your fingers through your hair, feeling more tears threatening to spill out. How many deaths and traumas were your fault? How many lives have you ruined? 

“You couldn’t have known. Heck, WE didn’t know about you.” Twilight pats your back, bringing you back to reality.

“But didn’t you feel something was off? I was like,” you make claws with your hands, emphasizing your point “controlling you guys against your will or something.”

“Well, it was kinda weird when I stared at a rupee for fifteen hours straight.” He chuckles, “But like I said, you had no way of knowing. Nobody here blames you.”

“I’m pretty sure Wars hates me…”

“Well, he’s an asshole.” Twilight rolls his eyes. “I’ll give him a piece of my mind next time he’s bothering you, ya hear?”

“Okay,” you smile, wiping your nose with your sleeve. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Legend

“Speedrunning? That sounds incredibly stupid.” Legend scoffs. You had tried explaining some of the strange things that he had encountered during his adventure, only to be made fun of. Honestly, you probably deserved it a little bit.

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. People compete to get the fastest time, which usually requires glitches.” You chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your head.

“So you broke the very fabric of reality in order to win.” He raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t break reality!” You exclaim.

“I climbed up a ladder and just… kept going up, even when there wasn’t anything to climb on!” Legend throws his hands in the air. “I held a bomb above my head and floated across a room.”

“That’s not necessarily breaking reality,” you grimace. He’s honestly got a point, but you’re not about to concede like that. “People can fly. There’s a whole race of bird people called the Rito in the other timelines.”

“Do I look like a bird?” Legend motions to himself, showing off his very-much-not-a-bird-self. “You know what? Forget it. If all you’re going to do is make excuses, I’m done.”

He turns to walk away, but you grab his hand. His back is to you, so you can’t see his face. Hopefully he won’t hate you too much.

“Legend, I swear I would never have played the games if I knew I was messing with real people. I had no idea.” You sniff, tears threatening to fall. You’re so sick of this. You’re so sick of needing to explain this to them. “Your games were some of the first games I ever played. I remember coming back from school as a kid, excited to play them. I… I loved all the characters. I spent hours trying to find every side quest, trying to get everyone a happy ending. When I started speedrunning… I never could have known… I’m sorry.”

He turns around, his bangs half-covering his eyes. He looks ready to cry, too.

“You loved her too, huh?” He whispers, then laughs, regaining his composure and returning to the snarky Legend you know and love. “Just make sure you don’t, like, puppet me around now, alright? I can’t imagine what the others would do if I started backflipping through walls.”

You giggle at his annoyed expression. They were sure to be insufferable about it.

“Deal.”

[papasbaseball]

The Wizard x Reader (Wonderful Wonderful Girl) | Chapter 7

Pairing: Wizard x F!Reader

Rating: Teen (Rating to Increase)

Warnings: Power Imbalance, Boss/Employee Relationship

Summary: Being a maid in the Royal Palace of Oz is not half so bad. Despite the meager wages, everything else is provided for you for an honest day's work. It can be unnerving working for the most powerful man in Oz, but you are able to avoid him most of the time. This changes during Lurlinemas, your paths soon becoming inextricably intertwined.

Word Count: 3,724 of 19,250

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AO3 Link

The festivities start before the sun sets. I watch as it sinks below the horizon, a fat red apple amongst the crooked charred tops of green houses and shops. Its dying light falls gently on the shoulders of ladies and gentlemen as they arrive, like a glowing kiss of welcome as strokes of real gold, gold that could be minted, bathe their cheeks and laughter-filled smiles. They arrive in pairs, by themselves, in whole parties that tumble out of stuffed carriages. I watch from the window of my room, having already been done up for an hour at that point. I have dragged the vanity stool over to the window so that I can watch better. Anything to pass the time as I wait for the inevitable final guest of the party: myself.

I have no desire or intent to go down to the feast because I knew that he would be there: the Wizard. Every stroke of the makeup brushes this afternoon felt like porcupine bristles being dragged across the skin of my cheeks, eyelids, and lips. The lips had stung the worst, right in the spot where he had touched his thumb. It was embarrassing really, the way I fell for it all. Emily didn't know anything about what had happened in the throne room, but her words from weeks ago echoed in my head as she wound locks of my hair around the hot iron. You're not the first dummy to try and sleep her way to head maid. The fact that I wasn't the first one was what was eating at me. Was this the kind of treatment that they got? How many had there been before me?

I shake my head at that. No, not before me. I am not a part of any line of women who would sleep with the Wizard, and I do not want to be any part of that line. I'm sure he has needs that are natural to his human body, just the same as he needs to bathe or dress or sleep, but I refuse to think of him like that. It feels disrespectful to even think that he could be so carnally biased that sleeping with him would earn you a higher rank and station, rather than merit.

The thought of him brushing my lips stings me again and I wince, getting up from the window and throwing myself on the bed. There is something about watching the guests arrive that is causing my mind to lose itself, fixating on... I grit my teeth as I push my face into the pillow, not even trying to protect the curls Emily had set or the makeup that had been painted. The cotton pillow is soft against my made-up face and when I try to breathe in, my lungs are confused by the lack of oxygen. Good. If I knock myself out maybe I'll get out of the whole thing altogether.

There is a knock at the door and I dig my claws into the comforter. It's only been a few minutes since Emily left the room and already someone is coming to bother me. I breathe in the pillow quicker, hoping to speed up the process. There's the sound of the door opening and then an unexpected voice.

"You planning to fall through the floor to get to the party?" Bruno says. He bats at my shoe. "C'mon. He wants you downstairs."

What? So he can embarrass me? It was one thing when we were in the darkness of the control room, or even teasing remarks in front of Humak, but to do it in front of hundreds of strangers? "I'm not going," I muffle into the pillow.

"I don't know what you said, but you'd better get up before I make you," he says.

I turn my head just enough and find myself involuntarily sucking in clean air. "I said 'I'm not going', okay? You can't make me."

"For Oz's sake," he says, and then he yanks me by the ankle as I squeak in protest. "This is the hill you're going to die on? A stupid party is worth your sister's life?" He yanks me once more and I tumble to the floor, the wind going out of me in a yelp.

"No! I'll run away!" I say, scrambling to my feet. I say this, despite never having thought about it before or knowing how I would survive outside of the Emerald City with no money and a second mouth to feed. I don’t even know how I would get out of the palace without a guard stopping me.

"You look fine," he says. "Now, let's go."

"No," I say.

"What the hell is wrong with you?” he says “You see a ghost or something? There's food downstairs and drinks and dancing.” Dancing. The thought of the Wizard's hands on me again, the knowledge that I'd fall for it again like an idiot... The Wizard had magic in more ways than one.

"I don't want to dance," I say, "...with strangers, that is. Have you seen the Arjiki guards? They're frightening." They aren't, but it's better than confessing my relational problems to no-nonsense Bruno. What would he know of... whatever the Wizard and I were?

"Well, then you can dance with me then," he says.

I blink, having never considered the possibility before. The party would be better than hiding in my room upstairs because I would have an excuse to not see the Wizard. How could he dance with me if I filled my entire dance card with other people? Up here I ran the risk of him slipping away from the party to come torment me in private. "You mean it?" I ask. Bruno simply offers his arm, and I take it.

We take our time walking down to the Grand Ballroom. I ask Bruno how Leo is doing. Apparently, he got in trouble at school the other day for beating a kid up on the playground. I ask him if the kid deserved it and he laughs, asking me about Fileah instead. There's nothing new to report back besides telling him I'm trying to be on my best behavior so I can see her again. We don't talk about the riot. I hope Fileah has stopped talking about it by herself as I hadn't had the chance to tell her to. The Wizard has been keeping me busy with etiquette assignments and other stupid tasks that seem to take up the whole day past when visiting hours are over. As we enter the Grand Ballroom, I can feel the puzzle piece of the confusing social training click into place and realize that he had this party planned for a while and was truly planning to surprise me.

Tulle and taffeta skim across the floor in coiling circles as partners guide them along, sometimes breaking off and weaving in and out of the ladies and gentlemen, all the while laughing. Toward the front of the room parallel to the wall, and on the dais there are tables laden with food. As we draw closer I can see suckling pigs that have been roasted until bronzed, the skin pulled so tight that you could taste the way it would crackle in your mouth without ever sinking your teeth into it. There are turkeys that have been herbed and stuffed and are twice the size of the biggest one I've ever seen. In between the meats are bowls so big that you would have to carry them with both arms filled with buttered turnips, roasted brussel sprouts, sugared beets, whipped and airy potatoes, and several others that I ignore once I see the towers of desserts. The guests who are not dizzying themselves with merriment have taken seats along these tables, filling their plates with any and all of the offerings.

The table on the dais is packed. Fiyero, Humak, and some of their guards that I had seen earlier are seated on the left, a few strangers are seated on the right, and in dead-center there’s him. The Wizard's lips are pressed together in a hard line, goblet draped lazily in hand, and an empty seat beside him. His eyes are scanning the room, and I know he is looking for me.

"This was a mistake," I say, pressing against Bruno to try and get past him.

"I'll be here and ready to dance with you when it's time," he says reassuringly. He takes my wrist which now has a dance card attached to it. Someone must have slipped it on me while I was salivating over the food. Quickly, he pencils his name into two or three slots – I'm not sure how many as I'm watching the Wizard stare at me, not once breaking the gaze – and then he guides me up to the dais. "I'll come get you when it's time."

I climb the stairs on the right side of the dais, trying to find a seat that hasn't been taken already. Unfortunately, all of the seats at the table are labeled with place cards, little bits of cream cardstock that have been etched in curling script with names and titles. I try to keep my eyes on the whirling bodies of the dance floor and away from the Wizard's tiger-like gaze. The dancers seem to have moved onto a reel, two great ovals smashed together as couples take turns dancing down the aisle of refined and all-green and gold clothing. I watch intently, even as I take my seat next to him, even as I can smell the spiced cloud of his cologne, even as I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face to make it so hot that I wonder if I have a fever and might be excused from the party to undisturbed bed rest.

We sit like this for an eternity, letting the full orchestra swallow up our unsaid words, until a familiar voice asks, "Are you a big dancer?" It's Fiyero, goblet in hand, and much more fashionably dressed than the last time I saw him, a satin blue military jacket perfectly accompanying his blinding smile and the twinkle in his eyes.

I have to ask him to repeat himself, feigning that the orchestra is too loud to hear him. He does, and I swear I could go down to the Unionist chapel right now and thank the Unnamed God for getting me away from the man sitting next to me. "Oh yes!" I say. "I love dancing. I don't get to do it much, so I'm really trying to take it all in."

Prince Fiyero laughs at that. "Wouldn't it be better to take it in on the dance floor?" He offers me a hand, and I don't have to think twice before taking it.

I don't have to imagine that Fiyero is a heartbreaker back in Winkie Country. I can feel my own butterflies flap their wings in curiosity at how graceful and perfectly gentlemanlike he is: the way his hand warmly guides me by the waist, the way he laughs at anything that I say and always has the perfect banter ready to shoot back. Even his eyes, his hair, and his teeth are perfectly perfect, and yet I am still not completely sold. Stopping me from falling for him fully is almost equally the shock that a prince has asked me to dance with him when I had been sharing a bed for warmth and stealing ribbons weeks ago, and the fact that I can still feel the Wizard's eyes on me.

I look to the dais, and even though we are a good hundred feet away, I can see the anger seeping from him, how Humak who was sitting to his right looks at him nervously as if the man in the satin green tuxedo were going to explode and kill him in the process. Good, I think. It was time for him to get a taste of his own medicine. It wouldn't hurt him to see me dancing with the enemy. It's just a little harmless fun so maybe he'd stop trying to mess with my head and toy with me.

I'm not familiar with the dance that plays next, but Fiyero is such an excellent partner that everyone who looks at us would think I had known it my whole life. He jokes with me about how the party hadn't really started until I showed up and I almost believe him. By the end of it, I have a stitch in my side from all of the dancing and the laughing. I feel as if I could down an entire bottle of fizzy wine the way I'm out of breath and giddy to go again. I don't need the wine as I feel a strange warmth spreading within me. Looking at Fiyero, I'm more than glad he came to the Emerald City, and not just glad that he got me away from the Wizard.

"Come on! Come on!" a man in spectacles that pinch his pupils into reptilian slits shouts. "Let's play a game of Blind Man's Buff!"

This sends the crowd into a tizzy of excitement, young women shrieking with delight and pushing each other, the gentlemen gathering closer to the bespectacled man.

"Blind Man's Buff?" I say, grabbing Fiyero's arm. "What is it?"

Fiyero's grin spreads wide in excitement and he pulls me into the throng of those who have had enough of dancing. The man in the lizard glasses is now waving a white scarf as if it were a flag of surrender as the mob pushes in.

"Who shall be our Blind Man?" Lizard Eyes asks.

Fiyero pulls me forward and pushes me to the front. "Take her!" he shouts, waving my hand above my head. "She's a virgin!"

"A virgin!?" Lizard Eyes exclaims.

I'm short-circuiting over them discussing whether I've slept with anyone before when Fiyero whispers in my ear, "It just means you've never played before, love." The butterflies are now beating their wings in earnest.

"Yes! Yes!" Lizard Eyes says. "It will be a special Lurlinemas treat, then. A real game to remember!" Quickly, Lizard Eyes blindfolds me, the world going dark as the soft and warm cashmere is wrapped snuggly around my eyes. Despite the scarf being white, there is still a green light that comes through, and I realize just how truly green the entire palace and city are if even a thick scarf can't block the verdant glow. "Should we make it a special game?" the voice of Lizard Eyes says.

"Lover's fate!" Fiyero shouts out.

"What's that?" I try to ask Lizard Eyes. However, I can't see him, and my guess as to where he is remains in the last place I saw him. I reach out to my right and touch nothing but air. This earns a laugh from the crowd.

"Lover's fate!" people agree, some even starting a chant.

"Lover's fate it will be!" Lizard Eyes says. He must have moved back behind me, I realize, turning in that direction. "You will have to search the room looking for people. Once you grab someone, you must identify them." He giggles.

"Sounds easy," I say. I hope I catch Fiyero, I think. He's familiar enough and I wouldn't mind an excuse to touch that perfect face of his.

"Well, it would be, except you can't use your hands," Lizard Eyes says. "You'll have to kiss them to figure it out."

I want to rip off the scarf and go hide under one of the banquet tables when Lizard Eyes grabs me by the shoulders and starts spinning me around and around until I'm so dizzy that I want to lay on the floor until my head comes back to normal. Even if I lay there all evening, it would never stop the spinning on account of how many strangers there were and that I would have to kiss one of them. The thought makes my stomach go cold, so I know that I have to find Fiyero. Maybe I’ll be glad that I came to the party after all. Maybe...

The mob that had gathered around Lizard Eyes is now quickly dispersing and reeling back in. Their whoops and hollers are growing distant and then occasionally they bump past me in taunt, but I don’t care. Frankly, there are too many of them, and I'm trying to pick out Fiyero's voice. The slight Winkie accent is what I'm looking for, the way it sparkles. I think I hear him 10 feet diagonally to the right of me. I go chasing after it and can hear his laugh as I fall through the air in my attempt to catch him.

"If I had known you wanted to kiss me that bad," he says, "we could have skipped the dancing."

I'm following his voice once again, trying to sneak up on him. "Okay," I say. "So then get over here." Another snatch and a miss.

"Nuh-uh," he says. "I'm undefeated in this game. You can kiss me afterward if you really want to."

I make a dash for him and miss the grab again. I stomp my foot, willing him to hold still.

"You know, you're supposed to chase other people too," he says. Another missed grab.

"Well nobody told me that," I retort back. I fake going after other people, trying to keep his location in mind. When I'm satisfied with enough squeals and laughs, I taunt him again. "Maybe you're undefeated because you're scared."

"I'm not scared," he says. 8 feet to my left. I reach for the rustle of a skirt that I hear closest to me, pretending to chase it as I make a semicircle to cut him off. I shoot my hand out and grab hold of an arm clad in a soft satin. The blue and gold dress military jacket.

"Too easy," I say with a smirk. The room has gone silent and I can't stop grinning at the thought of the Arjiki prince kissing the Wizard’s special guest. Serve’s him right. "Kiss me."

His fingertips are warm as his hands cradle my face. The room is still holding its breath as I feel just the brush of his lips against my own.

"You call that a kiss?" I whisper. "Kiss me."

His lips crush mine openly, an invitation. I let my tongue slide against his lower lip as his tongue slips against mine and into my mouth, pressing my tongue back into submission. It's everything I can do to not fall into his arms and let him carry me out of the party. He was certainly better than any schoolyard kisses and there was a promise of domination in the way his tongue danced with mine that sent a thrill up my spine.

When he pulls away, his name is already on my lips as I tear the scarf off. I don't make it past the first syllable.

It's him. There's a look of hurt in his eyes and I can't help but feel like an idiot. I was so wrapped up in the idea of kissing Fiyero that I couldn't even recognize the same small scars that had touched my hands earlier that day or the way his mustache and goatee had scratched the delicate skin of my lips.

So many things are crashing and burying me like an avalanche: the way he's looking at me, the way the room is still silent and staring at us, the way Fiyero has a shit-eating grin and I can tell he's holding in a laugh, the way I liked it and still want more. This last part is what sends me running from the room and out into the winding halls of the Emerald Palace.

I need to get away from him, to think this out. How was I ever going to face him again? I remember telling Bruno about how I would run away, and now I'm seriously considering it. How much could a train ticket possibly cost? Fileah and I could probably run away and live in the jungle off of the fruits of the forest until we found somewhere nice in Munchkinland to house us. Maybe Bruno had some family outside of the Emerald City that could hide us.

I burst through the hallway and find myself back in the throne room. Sweet Oz, anywhere but here. The face is well hidden amongst the vines again. I consider going up into it to cry – it'd probably be the last place he'd expect to find me – when I hear a queer wooden sound. It sounds like a penny made of wood is spinning around and around before it falls flat. Then the crash happens, followed by cursing.

I run over to the source of the commotion to see Humak Tigelaar with a funny-looking object in his hands.

"Humak," I say through a tear-constricted throat, "you're missing the party."

Humak laughs nervously at this, agreeing with me. It is as he's trying to slip away that I realize what he's holding.

"The Grimmerie," I breathe.

Humak's smile drops and instantaneously he's bolting into the hallways.

All I wanted to do was to be left alone, to just go somewhere where no one would find me while I tried to sort out what would be best for me, what would be best for Fileah. No, in truth, it was just what would be best for me. If I had really been selfless I would have played whatever part he had set for me and done it happily. Ribbons were a fraction of his generosity, and she could have had anything in the world if I had just played the stupid part.

I feel like Lizard Eyes has spun me around and around for a second time as the machine that is Oz the Great and Terrible seems to be floating up with its ropes towards the ceiling, the ceiling falling to the floor. I stumble, feeling for any sort of familiarity or guidepost in what to do, and I keep stumbling, footstep after footstep until I reach the entrance to the Officer's wing.

My voice sounds a thousand yards away as I yell for help.

[whatwooshkai]

Gonna put in my lucky number; 4!

Heatwave can't sleep.

It's not his roommates, no, he's long gotten used to their various recharge quirks. And it's not the homesickness either, that was the worst in the beginning and he was sleeping just fine.

But he just can't sleep. No particular reason.

And that's the annoying part- if there's no discernible problem, there can't really be a solution. That's something Chase would say.

Heatwave considering waking one of them up to entertain him. That'd probably only go over well with Boulder, who's too soft sparked to get angry at him. But then again, Heatwave has never woken them up in the middle of the night, so how is he supposed to know anything?

I'm not a sparkling anymore, he tells himself as he gets down from his bunk, optics trained on Chase's doorwings. They don't flick. I need other ways of dealing with this than bothering my friends.

Their door opens quietly enough to not alert any of the others, and Heatwave is slipping out into the hallway.

He's never been out here in the middle of the night. The hallway is empty, cold and unwelcoming, even with the little personalized name tags on every door. Heatwave's steps barely make a sound on the floor-

-nothing compared to the footsteps pounding down the hall behind him. Shit.

"Hey!"

Heatwave whirls around to see a- a security guard? Why do they have security guards?

"Back in your room, now!" the guard orders, coming up on Heatwave too quickly, grabbing him by the collar plating and lifting him a little off the ground. "Designation. Then room number. You're getting written up for this-"

Heatwave panics, sinking his fangs into the guard's hand.

He yelps and drops him, and Heatwave dives out the nearest open window.

Bailout training kicks in not a second too soon, Heatwave just managing to get his hook into the wall before his weight drops onto the system. He lets himself down faster than he normally would, because there's too high of a chance that guard could fuck with his system.

As soon as he's on the ground he disengages himself from the bailout system, leaving it dangling from the window. He can go steal another one from the supply closet tomorrow, probably.

Right now, he has to try not to think about how much trouble he's in.

It was really dark and there's a lot of firetrucks at the Academy. And Heatwave didn't speak, either... no proper identifying marks beyond a standard bailout system. He's fine.

He's fine.

Heatwave takes a deep vent and looks out in front of him. Several bots mill around, many drunk, others looking like they just want to go home.

He's never actually been out in Iacon by himself, he realizes. Especially not at night.

Heatwave can take care of himself.

He'll just make sure to use the window in his room, next time.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 24 - Capture

@jegulus-microfic December 24, Word count 586

Previous part First part

Regulus glowered at the pair of them. Had James planned this? Was his plan to make him part of his ridiculous pranks? Was Sirius in on it? 

Regulus turned to storm away, but James’s hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist, stopping him. Regulus’s head snapped in James’s direction, ready to demand he release him. Regulus paused when he saw the pleading look in James’s eyes. He let his shoulders relax and watched as James’s chest expanded with a shuddering breath. 

“I’m not ashamed of you, love,” James said earnestly, shocking both Regulus and Peter by the looks of it. “We’re just getting to know each other, but I think it’s serious,” 

“Mate, that’s Regulus,” Peter snickered, interrupting James before he could say more. Regulus rolled his eyes, and James groaned. Apparently, his brother was still using that tired joke. 

“Peter,” James sighed. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. So… Are we telling Sirius, or is it a secret?” Regulus felt a wave of cold rush through him. Sirius wouldn’t react well. They hated each other and the fact that James was not only his best friend but a boy as well. They’d both heard the spiteful hate their parents spouted about that. He was sure Sirius would say the same as they had. 

“Not yet. It’s still so new and, well, you know, Sirius,” James joked, trying to lighten the mood. Peter nodded knowingly, and something passed between the two Gryffindors that Regulus didn’t understand, and then Peter was smiling at him, and honestly, that was the worst part of this whole ordeal. He did not need people looking at him like he was adorable or something. 

He was planning on spitting out something scathing when they heard the scuff of a shoe. 

“Filch! Quick run!” James hissed. He dragged Regulus to the left, and Peter went right. Regulus looked over his shoulder after a few steps, and Peter was gone. He didn’t have time to ponder on it when James pulled him behind another tapestry. This really was becoming a common occurrence, not that he was complaining. 

James took a ratty-looking scrap of parchment out and held it up to the sliver of light coming in from around the edges of the tapestry and let out a relieved sigh. “He’s gone the other way; we should be safe to go in a minute,” Regulus tried to get a better look at the parchment, but James hurriedly stuffed it back in his pocket. 

“What’s that?” Regulus asked, far too curious. James stiffened beside him. “Let me guess, it’s one of those secrets you have with my brother that I’m not allowed to know about?”

“I’m sorry. I want to show it to you, I really do, but Sirius, Remus and Peter would all have to be alright with it and…” Regulus sighed, deciding to let it go for now. He realised how closely they were standing together again, and flashes of their last encounter played behind his eyes. James must have been thinking the same thing as his next breath came out ragged. Regulus leaned up on his tiptoes to capture James’s lips. 

James wrapped his arms around him and drew him closer. Regulus thought about James’s words to Peter. He was right. This did feel like it was about to get serious, and he didn’t know whether he should be elated or scared shitless. All thoughts were swiped away when James’s hand snuck under his shirt, and Regulus’s attention was wholly focused on James.  

Next part

[thelov3lybookworm]

Weeping Heart (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: panic attacks and tears

•○●⛦●○•

Warnings: the beginnings of a panic attack, cardan being sad and frustrated, though i dont go into details. yn running away again, ig. (the next part will include her getting comforted, dw <3 )

Word Count: 1107

A/n: shes a lil late but shes hereee yayyy 🥳

Imp: the next parts will be either posted on friday or next monday, depending on how quick i write. it will be a double update, so everyone whos on team herb can read the herb x reader part and ones on team cardan can read the cardan x reader part. i will add those links to this part when they are uploaded, so if you choose yes, you read the herb part. if you choose no, you read the cardan part.

anyways, enjoy🥹❣️

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n did not mind mornings. She had come across quite a few humans who insisted mornings were the worst time of the day, about how they preferred night.

Most faeries would agree, considering they slept during the day and worked at night. But Y/n, she loved mornings. She could get some peace to herself, some quiet that seemed to betray her when her soldiers, male and female alike, were awake. It was just quiet chatter, but it still got on her nerves sometimes.

Y/n always got herself up a few hours before sunset to have some time to herself, to practise her fighting skills, to think.

Y/n also knew Cardan liked to sleep. Most of the time, he had no option but to sleep off his hangovers after drinking the whole night, but even when that wasn't the case, he would never wake up while the sun was still out without a reason.

So when Y/n snuck out of Herb’s tent in the afternoon, the sun beating down on her as she went, it was a huge surprise to Y/n to find Cardan sitting on her bed, wide awake.

She paused at the threshold of her tent, the flap fluttering shut behind her as she processed the sight. "Cardan? You’re up early."

He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "Yeah. I’ve been up for some time now." He paused, glancing down at Y/n’s boots. It was a thing he used to do, when he was feeling vulnerable but did not want her to see. "Waiting… for you."

Y/n’s blood slowed in her veins before rushing again, and she sighed, stepping forward and making her way towards the chair in the corner.  "I was sleeping, Cardan."

"Where?" His response was quick, sharp, as if he had been thinking of it since he woke up. It made Y/n freeze in her tracks, her eyes growing slightly wide.

"Uh… in a soldier’s tent?"

He stood. "Why?"

Y/n blinked. "What do you mean why? My bed was occupied, so-"

"So now you can’t even stand my presence?" He laughed.

Y/n stared at him, at a loss for words. She looked at him closely, noting the gauntness in his pale cheeks, he shadows under his eyes.

Sure, he had all those before, but the hollows seemed deeper, the shadows darker. "I never said that, Cardan. And I would never be intolerable to your presence."

He scoffed. "Right, that’s why you’ve been running away and avoiding returning to Insmire for so long."

Y/n sighed, rubbing her face. "It’s nothing against you, Cardan-"

"Then why have you been avoiding me since I arrived?! I’ve been trying to talk to you, I’ve tried so many times! Why are you running away from me?!" He snapped, his voice rising.

And Y/n froze completely.

Cardan never yelled. That was something Y/n had grown up with. No matter what, Cardan never yelled. He would drink, he would party, he would revel, hell, he’d bed people just to forget his frustrations. But he never yelled.

And never at Y/n.

It broke her will to care.

"Because if I don’t, I might just kill myself!"

He stilled, his eyes wild as he stared back at her, his chest heaving. Y/n stepped forward, closer and closer to him. His gaze tracked her movements, almost predatory.

"Do you know, Cardan, how much pain I have been in everyday since I realised that you would never look at me like I look at you?" He said nothing, his eyes wide. "Everyday, I’d put on a smile, act like I have not been in love with you since I understood what love was, and watched as you did all that you did, as you revelled and ruined your own reputation, as you acted like you loved all those females you bedded."

Y/n finally stopped a foot from him, jabbing her finger into his chest, fury blazing in her heart. "I was there as you watched your mother ignore you, I was there to comfort you, I was there as you shattered every time after her rejection. I was there when you wanted Jude, I was right there helping you out with her. I listened to every detail you provided of your love life, trying to hold myself together, and you just couldn’t see it."

Y/n shook her head, smiling. "You could never see it, you were too busy making eyes at others to notice me. And yes, if you’re going to ask me if running away was necessary, yes it was. Because I could no longer bear to watch you be in love with Jude while I stared at you like a lovesick puppy. It was eating me alive from the inside. And I couldn’t tell you about it either, because I saw how in love with Jude you were, and I never wanted to get in the way of your happiness. You know why? Because I care about you, Cardan. I care about you."

He stared at Y/n, looking like he was about to cry as she panted, her blood chilling as she realised what she had just done.

"Y/n, I-"

Y/n stumbled back, her heart beating in her throat.

The beating slowed.

Her hearing diminished.

Or maybe the birds stopped chirping. She didn’t know.

She didn’t care.

This was a panic attack, she was sure of it.

This was the first one she was having in years. The last time was when Y/n had realised she loved Cardan and had almost blurted it out at him, but stopped just before he could hear it, and then he had left with a pretty nymph on his arm.

Even back then, he had not paid any attention to her as he led the female away, already beginning to kiss her before they were even out of sight.

And she had made it a mission that she never had any other panic attacks ever again. And if she did, she’d not create a scene, especially not in front of Cardan.

So she took another step back, her heartbeat thudding in her ears, slow, unsteady, and then turned and sprinted out of her tent, her only focus her horse, Toad.

And the moment the horse was in her arms reach, she swung herself onto the mare’s back and rode away, tears beginning to gather in her eyes.

She heard him calling after her.

Maybe Herb would keep Cardan away. Keep him from following her.

But did she want him to?

No.

Yes.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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@selenescribes @jasmineee05 @biscuit-sa @hat3yo0

[cryingoverpalta]

Ok so I was thinking, what if PIDW wasn't a novel, but a drama available on streaming platforms? So when SY transmigrates into SQQ's body, he perceives everything around him just like the audience is seeing it on their screens: with the low-budget fighting scenes that had him obliterating his keyboard with bad reviews, the soundtrack (that is pretty well-done and he actually enjoys it, but that doesn't mean he likes to hear the same silly song every time something embarrassing happens to him), the landscapes that are obviously made with green screen… Even the fabrics of his costume look cheaper than they should, considering the status of his character. Also, for some reason, everything that should be off-screen in a normal filming set (be it cameras, directing staff, or make-up artists) looks like a blurry continuation of the background, making the whole transmigration thing even more nonsensical than it already is.

But nothing disturbes him more than the fact that, just like everything around him is made out of an artificial project, the people also look just like in a drama, because SY suddenly is surrounded by literal celebrities acting like they belong in the pages of a badly written xianxia novel. And ok, to be fair just this time, he's aware they are currently living in a xianxia setting, but his brain can't deal with this logic sometimes. Like, yes, Sha Hualing is a badass character and is always a pleasure to see her fighting choreography in first person, but SY can't take her seriously after seeing her face plastered on a big advertisement while waiting for the train home the other day. And don't even mention Liu Qingge, whom SY can't even look in the eye thanks to the sexy, shirtless photoshoot his actor was part of (that SY saw against his will, because he obviously wasn't searching for handsome shirtless men on the internet. The photos were everywhere; it was a matter of time for him, a chronically online nerd, to see them after going viral the way they did, thank you very much). God, he can't even stand his reflection without panicking a little over his new handsome face, wich also happens to be the face of the actor that always plays the most brutal villains, but is just a chill guy in real life—starring variety shows and giving autographs to the older ladies with a warm smile on his face; that kind of chill guy. If he's as trash as the villains he plays, SY will never know.

And the worst of it all is: Luo Binghe. It doesn't bother him too much at first; his white lotus era makes him look really young and sweet, even though there's an obvious layer of makeup covering his real age, and their feet are always blurry when they're together, probably hiding an uneven floor to make 15-year-old LBH look much shorter than him. But then the abyss happens (and GOD what a shitty green screen that was), three years pass in a literal blur, and the white lotus isn't a fake teenager anymore. And ok, SY can be straight, but he isn't blind; the actor was chosen as LBH for a reason. The man is gorgeous, with that strong jaw, intense eyes, and the height of a supermodel. AND he's talented; SY has seen his other roles and is a genuine fan of his work. So of course, he nails his acting as blackened LBH so much that SY is incapable of perceiving it as acting anymore.

Imagine his surprise when the show turns into a BL and he's suddenly kissing LBH with tongue and all! Sure, it has been a while since he can't see the man as anything other than LBH himself, but he still looks just like that handsome actor that even his little sister had a crush on at some point! What's with this nonsensical plot twist? Wasn't the stallion protagonist supposed to be papapaing the eleventh wife at this point of the plot? Hello?? System???!!!!!

The funny thing is: not even the papapa can escape from the blurry off-screen logic. Yes, SY knew the scenes were typical soft-porn with too much emphasis on doing close-ups of LBH's manly muscles and the wives soft, big chests (he went through a lot of those while watching the show, mind you), but he never thought their papapa would be just them being naked with poor illumination and blurred genitals. So SY never gets to see the Heavenly Pillar. But he feels it. Thoroughly. And for the first time in months, he wonders if it was just a PIDW thing or if the actor truly is talented in all areas of his life.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Bruce survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne

Chapter Four: Fight and Flight

Gabi followed Bruce out onto the trail behind the house. “How are you doing, Bruce? You’ve been awful quiet this whole walk,” Gabi whispered. 

Bruce picked up a big branch and used it as a walking stick. “I’m just thinking,” Bruce whispered, “Be careful. You might have to hold my hand through here. There’s a cave. It’s supposed to be closed off, but—.” Bruce turned around and reached for her hand. Gabi smiled and held Bruce’s hand. “I don’t want you to fall in.”

“Thank you, Bruce. I wasn’t asking you about—. I was asking in general,” Gabi explained. 

“Not so good, I guess. I always feel like something bad is going to happen, but I’m tired of being scared about it,” Bruce confessed, “Everything scares me now…”

“Like everything reminds you of that night?” Gabi questioned as they walked around a log and over a large rock. 

“Yeah… Aunt Gabi, is it ever gonna stop being this way?” Bruce whispered. Gabi frowned as Bruce tapped a board with his walking stick. “We’re gonna go around your way.” 

“Okay… And Bruce, have you ever thought about talking to a doctor—.”

“I don’t want to talk to a doctor. I want to be prepared the next time something bad happens,” Bruce sighed. 

Gabi grew silent as she pondered Bruce’s reply, and she quietly discussed different ways to approach the issue. “Do you mind if I talk to your parents about this when we get back? I think I have an idea, but I want to see how they’d feel about it first before I tell you,” Gabi explained. Bruce nodded. Let’s go back. Okay?” 

“Alright, Aunt Gabi,” Bruce replied, still holding onto her hand as he turned around.

**

Martha listened to Gabi explain her thoughts while Thomas wrote something down in his journal. They occasionally shifted their glance to Jacob and Alfred taking turns playing tennis with Bruce. “I don’t know. Couldn’t that make things worse? Introduce him to new worst-case scenarios?” Martha asked. 

“Well, it might… But he’d be prepared for it. I know that doesn’t remove the fear, and I don’t think that part of him can be easily fixed, but I know a first aid class is a good start to giving him some of his power back,” Gabi replied, “I didn’t say any of this to Bruce. I wanted to see how you two felt about it first.” 

“Thomas?” Martha asked. “Are you paying attention?” 

Thomas looked up and nodded. “Gabi’s right. And I think it’d be a good opportunity to organize something for the community, too. Maybe something good can come out of all of this. I was writing down a list of calls we need to make if I want to make this work,” Thomas replied. Martha reached for Thomas, and he scooped her hand up and leaned forward to kiss her knuckles. “Unless you don’t want him to…”

“I—. I’m scared, too. I don’t—. Can we talk to Bruce about it first? It’ll give me some time to think,” Martha replied, “And Gabi, I appreciate all your help. I never want you to think that I don’t. I’m glad my brother married you. It’s the best gift he’s ever given me… A sister… And pretty soon, a niece or nephew.” 

“Oh, yeah! Congratulations, Gabi!” Thomas exclaimed. “I couldn’t be more excited for you. Really, I couldn’t. You’ll love being a mother. I’m sure of it.” 

“Thank you. I’m looking forward to the final trimester, so I don’t have to worry all the time. It’s so early on, but I figured you both ought to know,” Gabi smiled. Thomas set his journal aside. 

“Oh, the worrying never ends,” Martha laughed, “But it’s so worth it. It really is… And you’re so strong. Boy or girl, they’re going to be a force of nature.” 

Bruce walked over and quietly stood off to the side, waiting for an invitation to come closer. “Bruce, do you want to sit with me for a little while?” Martha asked. Bruce nodded and sat beside her, while she popped the top off of a soda and handed it to him. “Gabi had an idea. She said that you might benefit from taking a first aid class to help you feel more in control in an emergency situation, and I—.”

“Could I?” Bruce interrupted without meaning to. 

Martha looked at Thomas, and he shrugged. “Sure, lovey. Of course, but I think I’d feel better if I went with you,” Martha suggested. Bruce set his soda aside and embraced her. “That’s okay with you?” 

“Uh-huh! We can do it together!” Bruce exclaimed. Martha smiled as tears welled up in her eyes, and she swallowed hard to suppress them. “Thank you, Aunt Gabi!” 

** 

After Gabi and Jacob left, Bruce returned to school. Even before the shooting, Bruce had a difficult time connecting with other children his age. Most of them ridiculed him for being awkward, but he didn’t mind it until the children started using the shooting in the alley as ammunition to torment him. He’d been back for three days before a group of children chased him on the playground with confetti cannons, shouting Crime Alley over and over until they cornered him. They kept laughing and popping off confetti cannons until Bruce snapped and threw a punch. And he kept punching until the yard duties pulled him away from the group. 

He screamed and turned his face into the male security guard’s shoulder as he sobbed hysterically. He didn’t stop until Martha arrived with Alfred. Alfred cleaned and dressed Bruce’s knuckles before affectionately brushing a few tears from Bruce’s cheek with his thumb. “Master Bruce, I think there’s something to be learned from this,” Alfred whispered. Bruce braced up, waiting for Alfred to chastise them. “You weren’t afraid. Were you, Master Bruce?” Alfred winked, provoking a smile from Bruce. Alfred replied with a gentle brush of his knuckles against Bruce’s chin. 

Martha exited the office with a satisfied grin on her face as she reached for Bruce. He ran into her arms, and she held him on her hip. “Let’s go pick your father up,” Martha whispered. 

“Am I in trouble?” Bruce asked. 

“Given the circumstances… No. We’ll talk more after we get home,” Martha replied as she kissed his cheek. “Are we ready to go?” Bruce nodded as she set him down. He held her hand as they left the office, and Alfred drove them to the doctor’s office to pick up Thomas. He was outside talking to a man on forearm crutches. They were smiling and laughing. Thomas looked out toward the street and pointed at Martha and Bruce before waving. Martha smiled, but it was the kind of smile she'd give to someone to take the bite off of bad news. Thomas’ smile faded as he realized the time of day, and he nodded at her. 

Thomas looked at his friend, and they parted ways before Bruce and Martha crossed the street to get to him. Thomas hugged Bruce. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you at school?” Thomas questioned. 

“Can we talk about it at home, honey?” Martha asked. 

“Alright. Well, Bruce, are you okay at least?” Thomas questioned as he looked Bruce over. “Looks like you’re all there. Oh, but you’re a little scraped up in the knuckle department. Alfred’s bandaging work, I see. Did ya win, Champ?”

[lunaandco]

i know who you pretend i am; part one

pairing: gavi x ofc

summary: catalan author aroa ferrer is about to be translated into spanish. to promote her book, her publisher has the worst idea possible: a pr relationship with a heartthrob footballer.

masterlist // series masterlist // i do not take requests

"Uhm, where is the bathroom?" Asked Gavi. His hands were sweating and he wanted to fix his hair before the meeting. He was nervous, more than he was when he had play in front of millions of people.

This was different. This made him vulnerable.

"That corridor to the left has the gender neutral bathrooms," explained the woman at the reception counter. Gavi thanked her quietly and walked toward the corridor she had pointed to.

The bathroom was empty, except for a girl in the farthest sink away, who was covering her face with her hands and quietly sniffling.

"I'm sorry," he stumbled, taking a step back. Maybe he could come back later.

"No, it's okay." The girl didn't look at him, scurrying pass him, almost running away from the place. It left Gavi with a bitter taste in his mouth. What had that girl so upset?

He didn't think too much about it, though. He had his own things to worry about.

💙❤️

Iván put a hand on his shoulder when they were finally called up.

The offer had reached Gavi as a passing comment. Iván had heard that Roses Editorial was searching for a guy to be in a PR relationship with one of their more successful writers. The agent was offering the opportunity to his other clients, who were footballers of a smaller caliber than Gavi, when media attention was concerned.

Gavi would have usually not even considered an arrangement like that. His dating life was his business and his business only, but after a rough break up he needed to do something drastic.

"Hombre, I didn't think you'd be interested," admitted Iván. "You never want to do stuff like this..."

Gavi had shrugged.

"Just let me look a bit into this before I fully accept," asked Gavi. "Do you have the girl's name?"

"Aroa Ferrer," said Iván. "There are no pictures of her on the Internet, but you can check her book if you want."

Gavi frowned. He wondered if Iván noticed it was a bit strange that agirl with no public photos on the Internet was ready to go on a PR stunt like this, but he said nothing.

Gavi had bought the book, which was in Catalan, and actually read it. Going though the pages was quite different than completing his high school assignments. In school, he had loathed the language. Teachers were strict, the grammatical and orthographic rules made no sense, and he was in a clear disadvantage against his native speaking classmates. But Aroa's book was entertaining, the plot, the characters. It made him forget he was actually reading in a second language.

Aroa's second book was in Spanish. It had been published a few days earlier and was flying off the shelves in all the bookstores of the country. The publishing house wanted to take advantage of the rush, and use the publicity of a PR stunt to drive people's eyes towards the first book's Spanish translation.

Gavi walked to the office awkwardly. By the desk, Ferrer's agent and Roses' marketing manager were waiting for them. On the other side of the room, by the corner, arms crossed and jaw set, was the girl from the bathroom.

It took Gavi less than a second to figure out he had walked into a war zone, and that the room was divided. Iván, who either didn't notice, or ignored it, walked to the men in suits by the desk.

The men seemed to be delighted to see him. Gavi was sure that when they started asking around for an interested party, they never thought they could bag someone of Gavi's prophile. He could see the Euro signs in their eyes.

Gavi looked back at Aroa. Her jaw was set and he gaze was averted. Having the freedom to map out her face, Gavi was stunned with how pretty she was. Short brown hair curled to down to her chin, pink lips, curled in a pissed off expression, green eyes guarded and harsh.

She looked like she wanted to kill everyone in the room.

"Hi," he greeted shyly, when he caught her gaze. She replied with a short head gesture.

"C'mon, c'mon, sit, sit, Gavi." The men there were adamant in having him be as comfortable as possible. They really wanted to sway his will towards whatever they wanted to do. "Meet Aroa, she will be your partner in this operation. Excuse her behavior, she's not done throwing her tantrum yet."

Aroa clenched her jaw.

She definitely looked too pissed off for it be "just a tantrum". Suddenly, Gavi didn't think this was the best idea. Something about the men and the way they talked about their author, the fact that she was clearly distressed and nobady seemed to care.

"Aroa, sit next to him, I want to see you two together," demanded the agent. She obeyed, walking briskly and dropping next to him on the couch. Gavi could feel the tension in her muscles.

"Are you okay?" He asked, worriedly. It took Aroa a few seconds to figure out he was talking to her.

"Could be worse," she said, her face softening a little. Her eyes were prettier up close, he noticed.

"Alright, so, the idea is to have you two appear to be a couple in public, so that Aroa's book sells in the rest of Spain," said the agent.

"We also wanted something from this relationship," announced Iván.

"Of course." Both men seemed to find that completely reasonable. "What do you need?"

"Gavi broke up with his girlfriend a month ago. She's still posting indirect statements that reflect badly on him. Once the break up is announced, we would benefit of Aroa speaking kindly of him, at least a couple of times," explained Iván. Gavi flinched. The issues with Alicia had been many, specially after the break up. When she started posting, he and Iván had agreed to ignore the situation completely, but now that Gavi had been open to this scheme, it was logical that his agent wanted to take advantage of it.

Aroa rised her eyebrow, tension returning to her body.

"You're not like, abusive, right?" She asked bluntly. "I won't go against a victim just to clean you image.”

"I can promise you it's nothing like that," reassured Iván. "Alicia is just a little bit immature."

Gavi shook his head. That argument was doing nothing to quench Aroa's doubts.

"We fought during the break up," he explained. "Alicia wanted us to spend more time together, but I ignored her, sometimes even on purpose, to focus on football. If anything, all her complaints about me are about how I'm too immature and childish for a woman like her. That sort of thing."

Aroa seemed to find his explanation more plausible.

"If I learn that you did something bad to her..."

"I promise you I didn't," insisted Gavi. She finally nodded.

"Well, the relationship should be announced slowly, we don't want to overwhelm the public," continued the manager. Gavi had not caught his name, and he realised he did not want to.

"Yes, maybe Aroa should go to a couple of games, and you should be seen with the book somewhere..." agreed the agent, looking at Gavi.

"But how are we going to tie her face to her name? There are no pictures of you available on the Internet," interrupted Gavi.

"That's because my face should not be necessary to sell a fucking book," replied Aroa. Gavi tensed. During the whole time, Aroa had seemed tense, pissed off. But he now was starting so see the reason.

"Well, you refused to do tik toks, so this is your next option, young lady," reminded her the manager. Something churned on Gavi's stomach.

"My target audience is not on booktok," she complained.

"It will be if we say so," insisted the manager. "You wrote a roamce book, you can't be picky about your public."

"Wait, you don't want to be doing this?" Asked Gavi, fully tuning his body to watch her. By the corner of the eye, he saw Iván's expression souring.

"No. Not really. I want my books to sell because they are good, not because I'm some dude's girlfriend." Aroa explained. Gavi recognised the glint of ambition and pride on her eyes. He had the same feeling surrounding his career. He was liked and valued because he was a good footballer, not because he was pretty.

"Then why are you here?" Asked Iván, concerned.

"I don't have a choice."

"Her contact stipulates that marketing decisions lay on the Editoral. We were already kind enough to listen to her when she rejected booktok, we won't do that again," explained the manager. Gavi felt like throttling him.

"Well, Gavi and I need to reconsider the offer..." Iván stood up, and gestured Gavi to do the same. "This information changes a lot of things for us..."

Gavi spared one last worried glance to Aroa before slipping out of the room, following Iván.

"That was..."

"Defiently unethical," finished Iván. "I can't believe they think they have the right..."

Aroa rushed through the corridors catching them before they reached the elevators. She grabbed Gavi by the arm, desperation obvious on her eyes.

"Wait, please." There were tears streaming down her pink cheeks. "I... please. Stay. They will carry on with this plan with or without you, and I... I would rather have to do it with you, knowing that you care, and are kind, that to do it with whoever new they find, someone that agrees with their thinking." She explained.

Gavi did not doubt on wrapping jus arms around her, pressing her to his chest. Aroa buried her face on his shoulder, her tears wetting the fabric of his shirt.

"Alright," Gavi looked at Iván over her shoulder. His face was troubled, but Gavi could see that he agreed with him. They would take the offer, even if it was just to protect Aroa Ferrer.

💙❤️

"I'm so sorry for getting you into this mess," said Aroa when she let Gavi in on her apartment. She had kicked out Inés, her best friend, so they could talk peacefully.

"It's okay, though. I kind of want to do it, you know?" Gavi put his hands on his pockets. Now that she's allowing herself to look at him, Aroa could admit that he was pretty handsome. "I'd rather help you, that see you in a fake relationship with some scumbag in a few months and wonder if you're okay every day."

"Still. You shouldn't be worrying about it."

Gavi shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal. Aroa couldn't fathom how he found the whole ordeal so... irrelevant, to the course of his life, but he was not putting his ambition at risk so that was that.

She led him to her kitchen, were she had prepared two bowls of simple tomato pasta.

"I wasn't sure what you could or could not eat..." she explained. "So I played it safe."

"Smells so good," he complimented. "I love pasta, specially before a match."

Aroa smiled, pleased.

💙❤️

"So this thing... we can have it be quiet, right?" Asked Gavi, helping Aroa do the dishes.

"I'm not sure they want it to be quiet..." she told him. Edgar and Toni were like dogs with a bone, and Gavi was a very succulent bone.

"But I can demand that it is." He replied, confidently. "They need it to be me, no one is going to give them any more clout than I do," Aroa flinched. "I have power here."

"Alright," she said. "What do you have in mind?"

"Like Iván said, you come to a few of my matches, we get someone to spot you. I carry your books around a couple of times. Then we get caught kissing somewhere, maybe a restaurant or a park, something romantic. A couple of insta stories on the same place at the same time and done. We stop following each other on social media, don't interact in public and everyone will figure out we've broken up. Easy."

"Easy." Aroa repeated, finishing drying a dish.

"Yeah, easy." Gavi seemed proud of his plan."

"There is only one problem," she said. "I've never kissed anyone."

"Oh."

It was obvious Gavi did not expect that.

"Never?" He croaked. Aroa shook her head, a little bit embarrassed. She was about to turn twenty one, and no one had ever deemed her pretty enough for a kiss. "You didn't want to or..."

It was cute that Gavi thought she had chosen that. Aroa shrugged.

"Just never happened for me."

There was a heavy silence, in which Aroa avoided eye contact, turning her face away from Gavi, until she felt his hands gently cupping her cheeks.

"I could... we could kiss now," he offered. "So your first kiss isn't everywhere on the Internet. And so we know what to do when the moment comes or in an emergency."

Aroa took a shaky breath, lifting her gaze to look at him. Gavi's big eyes were dark, his lips parted as he studied her face. He wanted to do it, she realised, startled. Whether it was a stupid bout of desire or wanting to be kind she was not sure.

But she nodded, accepting the offer.

His lips met hers softly at first. Small kisses to help her figure out what was going on. But as Aroa grew in confidence, her arms lifting to grip his shoulders, her lips moving against his, the kiss deepened. Gavi gripped her waist, their hips colliding as he squished her against the sink. Aroa rised a hand to the back of his head as his tongue went inside her mouth.

"I thought it was supposed to be fake?" Inés' voice startled them into separating.

"We're just rehearsing," came out of Aroa's mouth, as she touched her tingling lips with the tip of her fingers. Kissing was nice, she decided.

Inés snorted leaving her purse by the couch.

"Sure, at least he's the hot one," she commented, before disappearing into her room. Gavi blushed, to Aroa's delight.

💙❤️

Gavi went back home excitedly. His lips were still tingling from the kiss, his heart still beating hard from all the adrenaline. They were doing this. They were so fucking doing this.

But there was one thing he needed to do first. He found his family gathered in the living room, but they tackled the issue before he could open his mouth.

"Since when do you read?" Asked Aurora. She was holding Aroa's book. "And since when do you speak Catalan?"

"I wouldn't have a high school diploma if I didn't speak Catalan," he replied taking his coat off. His cheeks are already pink. "I've lived here for almost a decade, I'm not that stupid."

"But reading a romance book?" Insisted Aurora.

"Stop annoying your brother," reprimanded their mother. "God knows I've tried to get him to read for years..."

His dad, though, had a knowing smile on his face.

"Where were you, boy?"

"I, eh... that is what u wanted to talk about with all of you. I was... eh, I was on a date." He blurted.

Aurora's mouth dropped.

"So soon after Alicia?"

"Yeah. I know it seems precipitated, but I have a great feeling about this..."

"Gavi, dear, it's better if you wait a little. At least as a curtesy. Alicia deserves better..."

"Well, for as long as Alicia doesn't hear..." decided Aurora. "We can pretend like they started dating six months after the break up or something..."

"She's coming to my game next week." Said Gavi, squashing their planning. "And I asked her to wear my jersey." He had not actually, but he was sure it would be the easiest way to link her to him, if she was spotted alone in the stands with the rest of the families.

"That's a bit soon. It took you quite a while to go public with Alicia..."

"I'm sure of what I'm doing," replied Gavi, squaring his shoulders. "I like Aroa a lot. I want her—"

"We don't even know this girl," protested his mother. "How do you know that she isn't after your fame?"

'Because I caught her having a panic attack at the thought of using me for my fame,' he thought, but said nothing.

"Why is it so hard to trust my judgement?" He asked. He felt like he was setting Aroa up to be hated by his family, once they broke of the arrangement.

"If you feel lonely, I'm sure Alicia..."

"I don't want Alicia, Aurora," he snapped. "I want Aroa." As he spoke, Gavi realised he was saying the truth. "I really want to try this with her. She's sweet and smart and accomplished. She wrote that fucking book!" He pointed at the book that was still in Aurora's hands. "And I liked it! And I hate reading, and I struggle with Catalan! That is how good she is."

"We're gonna have to meet this girl," spoke his father then. "Before the match. Ask her when she can come for dinner."

Shit.

💙❤️

"You didn't tell your parents it was a PR deal?" Said Aroa and Iván almost at the same time.

Gavi covered his face with his hands.

"They've been worried about the break up with Alicia. They liked her a lot, always asked if we are going to get back together. Aurora actually still meets with her, I'm sure." He explained. "I thought that maybe... I could use this to make them forget about my thing with Alicia, I don't know."

Iván sighed. He was used to Gavi's impulsive decision making, but Aroa was looking at him totally puzzled.

"Alright," she said. "I'm free every night next week."

"You're actually accepting?"

"You're making me a huge favour, not letting me do this with some random reggetón singer. How bad can a family dinner be?"

"If my sister suspects you're after my money, it can be quite awful," he warned.

"Then let's think of it as warm up, for when this thing hits the news."

At that moment, Gavi could have kissed her.

"Okay, you two need to fix that stuff alone," decided Iván standing up from the kitchen table of Aroa's apartment, taking the folder with him. After a second meeting with her publishers, the three of them had gone to her house to discuss the details form their more ethical point of view. "I'll give this to my friends. They will call you by the end of the week," he told Aroa.

Iván had offered to send the manuscript of her third book to some agents he knew, who specialised on publishing. They also had good ties with foreign publishing houses, and could get her translated to other languages apart from Spanish or Catalan, like English, French or German.

💙❤️

"Do they really hate me?" Asked Aroa once they reached his home. She was squeezing a box of homemade cookies against her chest, nerves finally kicking in.

"They... liked Alicia a lot. And they distrust any girl that attempts anything with me. So this is more like an exam..."

"Great." Gavi almost snorted at her ironic remark. She had come out of her shell slowly, but it was fun to banter with her now.

Inside, they were greeted by his father first. He looked soft, like a teddy bear. He took the cookies from Aroa with a smile on his face, as he led them to the kitchen, as if this wasn't Gavi's house too.

There, they found his mother, who was a little bit more cautious around Aroa. She still smiled and was very polite, but Aroa could tell she was being watched.

Aurora would clearly he the hardest one to win over. She smiled curtly, but kept the interactions at the minimum. Aroa took a step closer to Gavi instinctively. He put his hand on her hip as he talked to his dad, something about the cookies being 100% acceptable by Barça's nutritionist standards.

"You made them?"

"Yeah!" His mother nodded appreciatively. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard.

💙❤️

"They definitively hate me," whispered Aroa once they were alone in his room. She picked her pyjamas from the bag she had prepared to spend the night.

"Okay, it could have gone better," admitted Gavi, sitting in bed.

Even if his father seemed to welcome her, his mother and Aurora were not as inclined. They were still untrusting, and Aroa had spent enough time studying human behaviour to know they were comparing her to Alicia the whole time.

"I don't think it's worth it to try to make them like me," she told him. "I'll be gone in a month an a half anyway." Aroa went to the bathroom to change her white stamped t-shirt and blue jeans—that Gavi had helped her pick, for the pyjamas shirt and shorts. "You could tell them they were right about me and call it day," she offered when she exited.

"I don't like that, though," he shook his head. "I don't want them to think badly of you. You're wonderful, I wish they could see it. And what do you mean you will be gone, we can still be friends, no?"

"I thought you would want me gone," she admitted, sitting in bed next to him. Gavi shook his head. "Not at all. I want to be friends with you, I want to able to laugh about it in a few years."

Aroa rested her head on his shoulder, in silence. Gavi had to keep himself from dragging her to his lap and crushing her in a hug.

💙❤️

Aroa watched herself in the mirror. The show started today. She would go to the match, wearing the black jersey with Gavi's name on her back, and do the part.

"You'll slay this, I promise," encouraged Inés with a tight hug before she left.

At the stadium, Iván greeted her and sat with her to watch the match. She was grateful for his presence, it was a friendly face in the sea of unknown people.

"I presume the dinner with his family did not go well," muttered Iván.

"No," admitted Aroa. "Did he tell you?"

Iván shook his head and pointed to a few rows in front of them. Gavi's sister had arrived, and with her a pretty girl with beautiful clothes and beautiful hair.

"Why would Aurora bring Alicia if she approves of you?"

"Shit."

"Shit indeed. I told that boy he should have told his family the truth."

💙❤️

Gavi noticed immediately, and cursed under his breath. Shit was going to hit the fan faster than he thought. As they warmed up, he searched for a reason to rush to the stands.

"I need to talk to Iván for a sec," he told his teammates, who looked at him puzzled. Gavi rushed up the stairs, ignoring his sister trying to get his attention, and making it to Iván and Aroa in record time.

"We have some drama here," warned him Iván. Gavi ignored him too.

"How are you doing?" He asked Aroa, who shrugged a little bit. She looked terrified. "I'm going to go off script right now," he warned. lifting his hands to cup her cheeks. He felt them heat under his fingers, as Aroa realised what he was planning.

The kiss was longer than it should have been. Gavi wanted to make sure one of those fans who recorded everything got the clip, wanted everyone to see.

Gavi wanted everyone to know he was Aroa's so badly, he forgot he actually wasn't.

💙❤️

"Anything you want to say about this?"

Of course his teammates would get a hold of the video sooner than the day was over. Gavi was changing into his jeans when Lamine slid on the bench next to him, holding his phone with the viral tik tok.

"That's my girlfriend," he said. "Her name is Aroa Ferrer, she's a—"

"The writer?" interrupted Cubarsí. "No way you're dating her, hermano. She's too cool for you, way out of your league."

"Oh, yeah?" Snarked Gavi, watching how Cuba asked Lamine to show him the video again.

"I only saw her face for the first time last week, when the new book dropped and she included an author photo. Finally!"

Cuba being an Aroa fan boy wasn't on Gavi's plan, but it made him proud.

"But is she hot?" Asked someone else, trying to see the video too. Gavi put on his shirt, amidst patting on his shoulders, hair ruffles and congratulatory comments.

The smile on his face was genuine.

💙❤️

"I'm sorry about what my sister did."

Gavi held her hand. His eyebrows were furrowed, his lips pouted. He truly cared about her well-being. Aroa smiled.

"It's okay. At least my publishers are loving the drama," he snorted, but she could tell he noticed the saddened tone on her voice. "I'm sorry I'm making things hard with your family..."

"No you're not. Alicia is, trying to get us to get back together." Gavi stopped in front of his car. "You might have helped me cut this once and for all."

Aroa squeezed his hand, and he lifted hers to his lips, kissing it gently.

"Also, my teammates want to meet you too."

Aroa rolled her eyes.

"You didn't tell them this was fake either?"

"Pau is your fan boy. I would look like a loser if I hadn't actually seduced you!"

Aroa snorted, and suddenly they were laughing loudly, putting their weight on each other, until some other families started to trickle by and look at them funny.

💙❤️

It was quiet at home. Gavi was dozzing off with his head on Aroa's shoulder as she typed her soul away. Her fourth book was halfway done, this time in Catalan. At the other side of the couch, his mother was reading a magazine, and his father was doing a puzzle in the coffee table.

Aurora made it home then. She left her keys and took her coat in silence, watching the new couple warily.

"You didn't need to do that," she told her brother. Gavi woke up fully.

"Actually, I did. You didn't need to do that."

"Alicia's feelings are hurt."

"She hurt them herself," he stated, curling further onto Aroa's shoulder, who had not noticed Aurora's presence due to her headphones.

"You're hell bent on her, huh?"

"Yes, actually."

Aurora rolled her eyes and went to her room.

💙❤️

"Are you sure you do not want to come?" Gavia sked again. He did not expect Aroa to say yes, she was admant to keep their public interactions to a minimum.

"No, have fun," she smiled softly, looking up from her laptop. That book was writing itself fast.

Gavi had a boy's night out, and even if some of the guys brought their girlfriends, Aroa had argued that she would be a girlfriend for too little to actually go there. He has wanted to argue, but there was no point.

Gavi bent to drop a short peck on her lips, before leaving, whistling some old fashioned song.

"You're not... going to ask him to text you every twenty minutes?" Asled Aurora, from her side of the couch. Even if the relationship was tense, Gavi insisted they should act like nothing happened.

"Why would I do that?" frowned Aroa.

"To make sure he doesn't cheat?"

"If I have to put that much effort to make sure he doesn't cheat, why would a I date him?" Questioned Aroa. "Seems stupid."

His father snorted.

"She's got a point," he said, smiling. He was the one that seemed to accept Aroa the fastest.

Aurora shrugged.

"Alicia did not like it when he went out without her."

"And they broke up," reminded her Aroa. "So it was useless in the end, all that work."

Aroa wasn't sure why she was pushing so hard. Her idea was to be as quiet as possible, bother the family as little as she could. But she also wanted to defend herself a little. Aurora nodded.

"I guess you've got a point, nena," she said.

💙❤️

An hour and a half later, Gavi came back with some sweets he had picked at the 24h bakery, just to find his sister and his fake girlfriend cuddling and laughing over the stupid movie on the TV.

His chest fluttered.

💙❤️

"Iván's friends picked up my book. They will publish me without stupid marketing deals," she announced one day Gavi went to her apartment straight from training.

"That's great!" Gavi picked Aroa up and spun her around.

"And they told me they didn't mind that I wanted to use a pseudonym, so no one would link my new books to you and this PR deal," she finished once her feet touched the ground.

Gavi knew what that meant for her.

"So whats left with your old publisher?" He asked.

"Once we break up, we're done." She said. "They just need to forward the royalties from the sales and that's it."

Gavi nodded quietly, catching his lower lip between his teeth.

"There is something I wanted to ask," he said then, changing his weight from one foot to the other. "What would happen if we never broke up?"

"Huh?"

"If instead of breaking up, we kept dating. Could your publishers say anything?"

"I don't think so, we never stipulated in paper..."

"Then let's stay dating." He blurted.

"What?"

"Be my girlfriend. My real girlfriend. Please." Gavi's hands cupped her neck. "I've thought about this too often since this started. Please—"

Aroa rised to her tip toes, and shut him up with a kiss. The first kiss that had nothing to do with the arrangement, and everything to do with them. The first of many.

[mothhball]

hello and congratulations precious barkeep!!! u-u please may I have a masterfully mixed vodka with coffee and some tomato and pineapple juice? i’m gonna serve it to Arkham Jonathan, because he might be the only one who can stomach this mad concoction lol 💚💚💚

Arkhamverse!Scarecrow x Reader

summary short fic + dark/dead dove + blood play + getting revenge

warnings hey uhm so this might be fucked, reader gets injured, blood (ofc), non-con drugging, non-con body modification, non-con blood drinking, non-con cutting, reader basically goes THROUGH IT

DEAD DOVE !!!!

notes tee hee I was kicking my feet while writing!!! first time playing with him and idk if my brain worms coordinated to get him right, BUT I had fun. thank you so much for ordering a drink <3 Slàinte Mhath!

! MINORS DNI !

event masterlist • main masterlist • taglist • kofi word count: 624

You lost count. Lost count of the hours, the tears, the wasted attempts to plead and beg your way out of this. Knowing Crane, this was to be expected. Once he set his mind to something, he made sure to see it through. With every dreadful, pain inflicting caress, he made sure to see it through.

“Attachment is a dreadful thing, isn’t it.” A statement, not a question. He didn’t expect you to answer, anyway. “So, you can imagine how displeased I am with this entire situation.”

The Scarecrow heaved out a raspy sigh as he stopped his pacing, and he returned to the examination table to once again check the restraints around your wrists. Your eye twitched as his thumb rubbed over the raw skin, irritating the results of your struggles. You weren’t sure what to say. Apologies, bargaining and other nonsense obviously hadn’t worked in the slightest. And at this point, your tongue felt too heavy, and your brain was fuzzed over by the numerous relaxants he had pumped into your bloodstream.

Crane leaned over you, and his image blurred and cleared in tandem with the pulse pounding in your throat.

“I suppose I am to blame as well. I shouldn’t have expected loyalty in Gotham. Not even from you.”

Stepping around to stand over your head, he brushed a sweaty strand of hair out of your face. The touch was almost tender.

Almost.

If it weren’t for the blood he spread over your skin in the process.

Your blood.

“Of all people,” he hummed, leaning down to get a better look at your face. “Ratting me out. Running like frightened vermin to run your mouth to the first fool who’d listen.”

His eyes narrowed, and a feeling of shame joined the nausea in your stomach.

“Was this your worst-case scenario if things went wrong like they did? Tell me, did you think I would kill you and call it a day?”

Your lips parted, but the words died on your tongue.

“Your work is brilliant. But you are so frustratingly stupid,” he hissed, moving next to your side again, and reaching for the scalpel. A familiar acquaintance at this point. One that has been a trusted instrument for the past hours.

You could always tell the moment that it cut. Even with a paper cut, the fleeting moment of cold pain was a telltale sign that something was split. Skin and flesh and fat. Tissue separated, layers revealed.

With a steady hand, Crane guided the blade from your sternum up to your collarbone. Enough for skin to open up, enough for your breath to hitch as the warm blood ran over your cold flesh and pooled in the hollow of your throat. Fortunately, not enough to eviscerate you like a frog on the dissecting table. Just right to hurt and mangle and teach.

“You know why I couldn’t be lenient. This has to be a learning moment,” he murmured, already bending over to lap the blood off your skin while his spindly hands spread over your body. His breath quickened with every drag of his tongue over the wound, and you could feel the tremble in his fingers as they dug into your plush frame.

Finally, he straightened up again, reigning himself in with much difficulty. With his teeth and mouth stained sanguine, he undid your leather restraints, freeing you from the metal table before he guided you into a sitting position. The world spun for a moment as Crane put your arm around his shoulders to steady you.

But the drop in your stomach wasn’t just from disorientation.

Your body felt lighter. Incomplete.

“Don’t fret. You’re still useful, after all. But you won’t need your legs to work, will you?”

[mystilotls]

The escalation from "I'm going to graffiti motivational quotes" to "I'm going to play obnoxious sirens of my voice everytime you get close" to "I'm going to unite with the server to bury you alive with your home, and I'm going to plant trees so it looks like you were never there" is certainly something.

[leciraofthewilderness]

So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:

Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*

The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.

To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.

If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.

The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.

This turned into a really long ramble so:

You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but

You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…

You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…

When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.

You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).

There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).

There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.

At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.

At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).

She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.

(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)

You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.

They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.

You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.

And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.

And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.

And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).