#but no one knows why and they’re pretty sure they don’t pay taxes bc I don’t know how those work

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

What if I made a little fucked up Stardew Valley esque AU with all my OCs. What then.

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

[deansawthetvglow]

eternal skyline of a spotless mind- or the one where the first 5 or so minutes of 15x20 are the only minutes i accept. 

in which i ramble a whole ficlet on accident and y’all i need the full fic. yes there’s a tinnnny bit of smut. also spn 15x20 spoilers slightly 

now i want the fic where dean applies to be a mechanic, gets the job, does real good. he and miracle live in the bunker, sam and eileen moved out a year ago now to follow a job opportunity for eileen. it’s a big place to be alone in. he keeps watching over and over all of the movies he has in a file entitled ‘cas’ favourites’ he sips whiskey, a responsible amount, and pets miracles head while his head is on his lap. sometimes he dives into the lore, he’s glad sam isnt here to give him shit about finally doing his research, but he’s trying to find a way to cas. to save him. and one day he tries to mix up a spell thatll open a portal into the dark nothing and his ingredients sputter and spark and he thinks it’s gonna work this is it, and it just doesnt. the smoke clears, the sparks stop popping, and there’s nothing. and so that night he goes into the dungeon draped in one of cas’ old trenchcoats and he sits in that spot he had to sit years ago and he cries, and miracle sits beside him and he cries because he’s trying he’s trying to live for love he’s trying to do right by cas and he just....he cant...cas died thinking dean didnt...didnt love him. and god, does dean love him. so he cries and he whispers iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and he falls asleep on the concrete, uses miracle as a pillow but dean doesnt think he minds. and he wakes up in the morning, eyes puffy, and he drags himself to work, and he’s back to square one. and this continues for a while, dean doesnt really remember when he tried the spell, but it’s been a while. a month, maybe more. and he goes into work, and there’s a new car for him to work on. it’s old, a classic, but dean kinda thinks she’s more junk than classic, sue him, and he starts working on it, and he opens the trunk to pop a particularly stubborn dent out of it, the client’s not paying for that but he just can’t let the car be driven around all beat up, and there, right in the trunk, is a trenchcoat. bundled up, and tan and big and dean grabs it, he shouldnt but he does and his heart is beating so fast as he brings it to his nose and smells it and it’s cas it has to be and so he rushes to the front office, demands to know who the client is, when are they coming by and as he’s going completely wild wanting to know everything it suddenly goes calm. because there, in a worn flannel and blue jeans, is cas. castiel. and dean just looks for a moment, to convince himself its real, and then hes rushing to a wide eyed cas and saying ‘you stupid son of a bitch’ and crashing his lips into those ones which he has wanted for and then cas isnt really kissing back so dean stops because he...he cant take anything more from cas, he needs to give and he...he stops himself because what if...what if this wasn’t what cas wanted, so he pulls back, lets his hands linger on the soft of the flannel, and then cas is speaking, head quirked, ‘do i...do i know you?’ and fuck. his heart drops right out of his ass. his knees buckles and hes on his way down when castiel catches him, pulls him up, hand on his shoulder, and he holds on to him. and dean lets out a ‘you don’t remember?’ and castiel says, ‘no. i...i dont i’m so sorry.’ and dean thinks all hope is lost until cas asks, ‘i know this is too much to ask but it...appears i know you, and i kind of just, woke up one day in a field and i...i dont really have anywhere to go..and um’ and hes rambling but he’s determined to get his little angel back, all the way back, so he says, ‘you wanna come home with me, angel?’ and cas grins and dean wants to see that grin everyday of his life. so he finishes cas’ car, lets him trail behind as they drive to the bunker. he doesn’t explain it really, just opens the door and says ‘well, heres the place’ and cas walks in and looks at everything with such wonder. and he brushes his fingers across the gold embossing of an angel on one of the books there and dean just watches, listens to cas breathing, aches to touch.

he sets cas up in his old room, cas quirks a head when he sees all the suits and ties in the closet, says something like ‘now i understand why i woke up looking like a tax accountant’ and hes being good old cas, sticking so close to dean and he’s sitting beside him to watch a movie and miracle is sprawled across their legs and cas says, ‘i could get used to this’ and dean says, ‘yeah cas, me too.’ so they sit and they watch and they repeat that day in day out and the bunker isnt so lonely anymore, and he and cas do everything together, and dean researches spells to get cas’ memory back. he thinks it has to do with the fact that his grace got ripped out in the process, theres a small nick on his adams apple that he recognizes as the place it must have left, but he coughs himself out of thinking about that neck and those lips and that hair and those thighs and- he hasnt kissed cas since the first day, he longs to. he sees the way this cas looks at him and he wonders. he wonders if maybe...maybe this castiel can learn to love him again. and it’s going on a year now. cas works down at the local flower shop and has an apiary on the hill above the bunker, deans still in his same routine of life, and they’re not...they’re in the same place they were before cas confessed. just, in this middle ground, this unspoken something, so as he lies beneath a car he decides, the happiness isnt in the having its in just being in just saying it, so he goes home that night, picks up flowers from a competing shop bc he doesnt wanna spoil the surprise, and sets up the table. cas’ name is still carved there, cas had laughed when he first saw it because “what kind of long name is that,” and dean was bursting with fond. and anyways he lays down a table cloth and lights a candle and waits. shaking in his skin just waiting for cas to get home, and then cas is walking in saying ‘hello, dean’ and running down the stairs, groceries in paper bags overflowing in his arms, and his hair is disheveled and dean helps grab a bag and puts it in the kitchen and waits for cas to follow and see...the set up. and cas asks, what’s this about? and dean looks at cas and takes a deep breath and says, ‘someone once told me there’s happiness in just....fuck...in just saying it so here goes. and its okay if you..if you dont but...’ and cas is getting closer, his head quirked and deans heart is beating out of his chest and he says ‘i love you.’ and then cas is rumbling, ‘dean, look at me’ and so he does, looks up into wide blue eyes and cas is smiling. smiling so big and beautiful and dean wants to hear it he needs to hear it he needs- ‘i love you too, dean winchester’ and then theyre kissing again, kissing and holding and deans a little embarrassed but hes crying and then theyre skipping dinner entirely and cas has his hand on deans bare shoulder and hes shivering into the touch its so overwhelming and he fucks himself down onto cas’ cock and cas digs his fingernails into deans thighs and looks up at him blue and beautiful and overwhelming and deans pretty sure he blacks out when he comes except, he doesnt, because his eyes are open and the lights in the room are all busted and cas is lying there under him looking up, dean thinks so at least, he can’t really see him and so he laughs and he laughs and he’s not really registering what happened, a beautifully timed power outage like something divine saying this is how you met and he’s here still and you finally have him and so he climbs off of cas and grabs something to wash them up and a candle or two from the table and when he comes back, and wipes the damp cloth gingerly across cas’ body he notices cas tense and he sees in the candlelight cas is looking very serious and he stops being sweet just asks ‘cas? whats wrong’ and cas says, ‘dean? dean. dean winchester... dean...righteous soul the one i fell for and will always fall for the one i love the one i have always...’ and dean dives back on top of cas and kisses him senseless because now cas remembers everything before and he remembers everything after and everything now and its perfect

and honestly they still arent really sure what happened except that maybe the spell needed angel mojo so it snagged it from cas or maybe the empty curled itself around cas mind and all it needed was the Loud of too many emotions to overflood it but all that matters is that they are here together.

and then one day, at the dinner table, cas looks at dean and he says ‘dean, will you....’ and he shuffles inside his pocket and presses a box into deans hand and its- ‘will you marry me?’ and dean is practically leaping over the table to kiss cas and saying “yes yes yes of course of course i wanna grow old with you i wanna be with you always in life and death in everything always together”

and cas is crying because he could have what he wanted, he has the one thing he wants most and dean wants him most too.

and then dean is pulling back and cas is looking pensive and he says, ‘there is one thing, dean.’ and dean looks worried so he places his hand on his knee and he says, ‘i want to be human, all the way human.’ and dean looks like he wants to protest or cry and hes not sure which it is but then dean is crying and saying ‘ill help’ and then the next day theyre out with the bees, because cas thinks his grace will do them good, and dean holds cas’ hand in his tightly and follows that little nick on his throat and opens it ever so slightly with the angel blade and tries not to think about how hes hurting the person he loves and he loves and he loves and then the grace is flowing away and dean captures it in a bottle, hands it to cas, who later pats it down in the ground so they can grow a new tree, and dean gives cas two little stitches on his throat and kisses all around them and washes cas hair for him in the shower and then

when the day comes, they go together, they get to live with one another and watch the sunsets on their front porch with miracle and jack and sam and eileen all looking out over an eternal skyline.

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

[astralaffairs]

i know mc is specifically a political journalist, but what if she was covering a story like the blm on the side or a riot or smth, and happened to get arrested while on the job? any headcanons for how thom would react? i see him wanting to use his political influence to get her out but i feel like he might give away too much if he does that?? or would he not care at this point bc he just wants to make sure she's safe?

mc uses her prison phone call on either lafayette or dolley for the SOLE purpose of them getting her in touch w thom

because so many people were arrested, the cops arresting yet another journalist probably wouldn't make the news

so when she calls either dolley or laf she just has to hope that they know what she means when she says to "spread the word" that she's been arrested

when word reaches thomas about it, though, he damn near loses his mind because "they can't just hold her there indefinitely!!!!!"

however, because her invocation of habeas corpus is just met with a statement that she's suspected of "rioting" or some variation of theft or property destruction at the protests, they all realize that they can, in fact, hold her there indefinitely

because our criminal justice system is so wildly fucked up

being a certified Broke Bitch, our poor heroine cannot post bail, so she's there until either charges are dropped or she scrounges up enough money for bail

dolley and lafayette both come to visit her (regardless of who she calls w her one phone call, they each tell the other pretty quickly)

when they learn abt her situation, they're also freaking out

they both offer to pay her bail money, but considering that they're both public figures closely associated w the jefferson campaign, mc thinks it would look too sus

lafayette comes in the next day claiming to be her lawyer so he can talk to her alone (she j runs with it bc this might as well happen)

but really he just did it so he could have space to tell her that thomas was insisting on bankrolling her bail AND legal fees

his plan is to just fund it w/ offshore investments; if the $$ is coming from nevis, no one's gonna be able to track it back to him (haven't u heard thomas jefferson was implicated in the panama papers??)

she tells him fuck no u can't do that

because then she'd have evidence of him using offshore investments to evade taxes (and she'd publish that info w/o hesitation)

because of course he's guilty of tax evasion 🙄

she'd basically tell him to take his money out of the offshore accounts if he was gonna bankroll her anything; she refuses to let her bail fund b paid by dark money

meanwhile, alex and lafayette are about to throw down bc alex is pissed that lafayette is acting as mc's lawyer

"He doesn't even have a law degree! Why the hell would you trust him with this?"

and lafayette is ridiculously smug abt it, but he knows the only reason she's letting him act as her attorney is so he can act as an intermediary btwn her and thomas

(once she no longer needed to communicate w thom, lafayette would be losing his role there)

but anyway thomas quickly realizes she won't b letting him pay her bail fund (and that she's probably being more reasonable abt it than he is)

so, being the extra bitch he is, he literally funnels millions of dollars to washington dc bail funds (cool donation, mediocre motive)

however, despite him being lauded as a hero of the people and an Activist, mc's bail doesn't get paid

relative to the other people who are being held in the same jail as her, her bail is low-cost, and her charges aren't very serious, so bailing her out is low priority

so, being the extra bitch he is, thomas assembles a fucking legal team to take the arrest of reporters and journalists at the protests to the dc district courts as a first amendment violation

mc is fucking shocked when she finds out

she's even more shocked when she finds out alex forced his way onto thomas's legal team bc he decided he had a stake in the matter

he, of course, does not realize that thomas literally brought the case to the court for the sole purpose of freeing mc

and, yknow, protecting the bill of rights, of course

he wins his case, of course

it gets him ridiculously good press and his approval ratings jump significantly

he shows up at the holding cells at the county jail when the judge orders that all journalists and reporters are released partially to rub his win in the cops' faces

but also, by now, mc has been in a holding cell eating prison food for 8 days and thomas is absolutely worried sick

he hasn't seen her, spoken to her, or heard from her except by way of lafayette's interpretation of her words, and he has no clue how she's holding up

dolleys been doing her best to keep him updated

but, yknow, he has to personally see to it that the judge's orders are followed and the journalists are released

and mc is beyond overjoyed to see him

but she also thinks he was being extra as fuck, and he didn't need to do all this just to get her out

she thanks him for all his efforts in a very formal interaction when they're both at the county jail but she's clearly mildly amused that he went to all this trouble

and he just looks WORRIED AS SHIT. he wants to hug her and baby her and ask her if she's alright

instead, when she shakes his hand in a gesture of awkward gratitude, he subtly lets her know he'll be home all that evening

and then he's texting her all afternoon after she gets out

but she wants to stay home :( needs to be at her own place after all that time in a fucking holding cell

so she isn't shocked when thomas shows up for coffee at the diner around 10 pm

in fact, even tho she isn't working right then, she goes downstairs just on the hunch that he might show up

and when mc offers to let mira go, then, and leave closing up shop to mc, mira isn't shocked, either

by then, she's caught thomas sneaking out the back door of the building in the early morning one too many times for her to not suspect anything (even tho he always claims he was there for coffee, he swears)

mira just sighs and sends thomas upstairs w/ mc once the diner is all cleared out, and they're both like "shit shit fuck she knows oh my god"

but she doesn't push the conversation any further just then, so they figure it can wait until another day

and then, of course, thomas spends the night absolutely babying her

he insists on cooking for her since she didn't eat dinner (she claimed she didn't have an appetite, but he was fairly certain it was just the prison food making her feel sick)

she puts up a fight, but when the food is in front of her, it's a little too good to resist

and if they don't fuck when he spends the night, neither of them says anything about it. didn't this count as the "friends" part of "friends with benefits"?

and if it briefly occurs to them that friends aren't supposed to casually make out on their kitchen counters, they still don't say anything about it

and if mc spends the next couple nights sleeping better than she has in weeks because her bed smells like thomas, she doesn't say anything about it

[poutyhannie]

Also, I have no idea whether or not Jeongin is insecure or not (I don’t think he is bc have you seen that boy) but please keep in mind this is a fanfic and not reality.  It’s just really sweet to comfort a significant other.  

warnings: fluffy as jeongin’s hair, college student!jeongin, fem!reader comforting and loving jeongin, showering together

word count: +2k 

part 1, part 2

Wearily walking out of your lecture hall, you sling your burdensome backpack over your aching shoulders and prepare for the twenty minute walk back to your apartment.  It wasn’t unusual for a college junior to have moved from dorms and into an apartment but it was unusual for a college junior to not have a car.  

Because your university was in a densely populated metropolitan area, rent was through the roof.  Though school was easy and you could keep up your GPA with relative ease, ‘adulting’ was currently the most difficult part of living for you.  Taxes, landlords, jobs, and finding out what to eat consumed what little time left that you had.  Though stress and anxiety often left you drowning, you could find comfort in a very special someone.

His bright and cute smile meets you from across the courtyard, despite thousands of students milling about.  You exhale a sigh as relief floods your body.  Merely seeing Jeongin transforms your day.  

He makes his way towards you, dangling his car keys on a pretty little finger, a mischievous smile on his face.  “Did you really think that I would just let you walk alllllll the way home?” Jeongin asks, quirking his eyebrow.  You guys met in an advanced ancient literature class where the then freshman caught your eye.  You told yourself in the beginning that your interest for him was just because of his youth in a class for juniors up.  After all, your counselor didn’t even know if you could keep up with the class as a then sophomore.  But after you two were put together for a project, you quickly came to the truth that Jeongin was just so adorable and you had to squish his cheeks every day.

So you do.  He crinkles his face up and lifts his shoulders, uncomfortable at the public affection but you can tell by the glow in his eyes that he really loves it.  

“Yes,” you respond as you both start walking to the student parking lot, “I was gonna change into tennis shoes, actually.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Jeongin pout a little, readjusting his backpack so you quickly add, “I thought you still have a midterm left so I assumed you were gonna go back to your dorm to study.”

This seems to placate his pout and he turns his body to you, legs walking awkwardly in an attempt to not trip.  “That last midterm was today and I waaaaas going to go back to my dorms but,” he leans closer to you as his calming scent fills your senses, his nose scrunches up in the most adorable way, “I wanted to spend time with you, Y/n.”  

You mask your endeared smile with a scoff and poke his cheek.  Jeongin rolls his eyes walking straight now, seemingly annoyed at you patronizing him, but you know that deep down he loves it.  “That’s good, babyboy.  You wanna sleepover?” You ask, peering intently at him.

He smirks as if that were his plan all along, “I packed clothes for it,” he says, gesturing to his backpack.  Jeongin grabs your hand, surprising you at the bold move, cutely swinging it around before smiling widely at you.  “You’re all finished too, right?  If it’s alright with you, my parent said they’re okay with me staying here over break to study but honestly, I just wanna be with you.”

At that, you can’t contain your smile, looking up to meet his playful gaze.  “Did you tell them that you’ll be staying with me?  Don’t make them pay for dorms if you’re not using it.”

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving his free hand around, “I told them I wanted to stay with you.  You seriously sound like my mom though.”

In mock anger, you slap his chest as he pulls out his keys, laughing.  

The car ride to your apartment is literally five minutes and you’re so thankful that you don’t need to pass that creepy alleyway to get home.  Your apartment is at the top of the building, small, and basically empty other than your books, clothes, and shoes at the front door but its cozy when Jeongin is around.  He runs to your bedroom and jumps on your bed, smiling widely at you.  “What’dya wanna watch, Y/n?  Or we could cook.  Are you hungry?”

Though you intend to fling your backpack far into the closet, you don’t really take into account how freaking heavy it is so it thumps down halfway to its destination.  Groaning, you kick it all the way to the back of your closet and let out a sigh.  Making your way over to the bed, you try to ignore Jeongin’s concerned gaze.

“What’s the matter, Y/n?”  He asks cautiously, laying a big, clumsy but warm hand on your shoulder, “Did I say something?”

Pressing you lips in a firm line, you shake your head, guiltily looking up at Jeongin.  “I’m just really drained from that last midterm and my professor hates me so I really needed to do well so that she’d give me an A so that I can keep up my GPA for my scholarsh—.”

Jeongin presses a light, unsure kiss to your lips, making you lift your eyebrows in surprise.  “I’m sorry, Y/n, do you wanna take a shower to forget?”

A knowing smile spreads across your face at the cheeky boy.  “Now I see why you wanted to sleepover, Innie,” you say, laughing, “Sure, let’s take a shower, babyboy.”

He excitedly jumps up and grabs your hanging towel and and rushes to the bathroom.  Chuckling to yourself at his cute antics, you grab a pair of panties and root through Jeongin’s backpack for his boxers.  You pull out a pale yellow pair that has little green hearts all over them, smiling.  Having Jeongin here really lets you calm down and relax.  He almost alway seems to know what you want and is more than willing to give it to you.  

Almost always.  

After making your way into the bathroom, you’re met with a beautifully bare Jeongin, his faint abs in full view as water flows down his face and over his shoulders.  Seeing you, he covers his stomach with his arms while the hot water steams up the mirrors.  

You tsk your tongue, striping and stepping into the shower.  Gently removing his arms from his stomach, glaring up at him, “No, baby, we’ve talked about how much I love your body.”  

Jeongin’s cheeks fill with blush and it spreads down his neck.  He doesn’t look at you.  “I know, it’s just-I’ve seen your ex around campus gym and it just makes me a bit insecure sometimes, ya know?”

Sighing, you pump body wash onto your hands and begin stroking Jeongin’s wet arms, trailing up and down and into his collarbones, down his chest before resting your palms flat on his stomach.  “Look at me, babyboy,” you whisper, gazing softly up at him through the water.  Eventually, his wandering gaze finds yours and you tilt your head to the side, smiling up at him.  It breaks you to see how sad his eyes are though he wraps his arms around you.  “I don’t care about my ex.  I broke up with him for a reason.  You know what that was, Innnie?”

He shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to hold back his emotions.

“It was because he was a fucking bastard.  I thought he was a genuinely good person but I was just wrong; he just wanted me for my body.  But you,” You tap his chest, “you’re a good person.  You’re so caring and considerate and not just to me.  You put your classmates and teachers first and everything around you feels your love, baby.  I fucking love you and it really doesn’t matter to me if you have something as silly as abs or not.”

The earnestness in Jeongin’s puppy eyes breaks you.  

“Plus,” you add, smiling, “I really do like your body.”

With that, Jeongin lets go into a wide, beautifully untamed smile, burying his face into your shoulder.  You’re not really sure if all of the wetness is from the shower.  Placing one hand on his head, running your fingers through his scalp, the other hand pumps some shampoo.  Gently, you begin massaging it into his hair.  He doesn’t lift his head.

“Babyboy,” you whisper, “you’re gonna get soap in your eyes like that.”

He begrudgingly lifts his head, a full, adorable pout gracing his lips.  You can’t help yourself; you press a delicate kiss on them.  Rinsing out his hair, Jeongin starts soaping you up to, smiling in spite of himself.  “Thanks, Y/n.  I really,” he sighs deeply, “I really needed to hear that.”

Closing your eyes, you let the feeling of Jeongin’s fingers in your hair take over your senses.  “Is that why you were acting so cute today?”  You ask, cracking one eye open to see his reaction.  

Jeongin flushes deeply, “No,” he denies, bashfully looking down, only to look back up quickly.

You smile, knowing the reason for his flighty gaze.  “Innie, you’ve seen me naked before, why are you like this?”

“I dunno,” he says, a dumb smile on his face, “You’re just really pretty that’s why.  And I was acting ‘cute’ because I was excited to be with you.”

You let out a groan at his overwhelming cuteness and nuzzle your nose against his.  “Lets finish up and cuddle, yeah?  How does that sound to my babyboy?”

Jeongin’s shaky breath fans over your face, “Actually,” he starts, causing your gaze to snap up at him, “I was wondering if we could…You know…”.  He trails off, averting his gaze.

A smirk spreads across your face but you quickly shoo it away in favor of a mock concerned expression.  “What do you mean, sweetie? I don’t understand what you want, babyboy.”

Jeongin's blush blooms from his neck up and spreads to the tips of his ears like a wildfire.  You know exactly what this brat wants and are willing to wait until he confesses.  “No-no.  Its okay, Y/n.  You’re right lets just cuddle.”

You roll your eyes, stepping out of the shower to towel off.  

You’re just in Jeongin’s sweatshirt and he’s in one of your shirts, sprawled out on top of you, his cheeks squished against your boobs.  He knows what he wants and he knows you know but this bashful baby won’t say anything.  Sighing, you sit up, causing Jeongin to roll off you, looking up at you wide-eyed.  Maybe you won’t wait till he admits it.

“I am fucking sick and tired of you acting like this, baby.”

The panicked puppy-eyes Jeongin gives you is almost too much to keep your angry act up but you push on.  “What were you gonna say in the shower, huh?  What was my babyboy wondering if we could do?”

Realization floods your baby’s eyes and his face turns red once again.  Knowing he won’t get out of it now, he stutters, “I-I just wanted—I was wondering if we could…You know, since we’re both done with school for now and we’re alone…Like-would you be okay with or do you want to…to like I dunno…make love?”  He coughs loudly, covering his face with a hand that you have to pry away.

“See, Kitten?” You murmur, voice dark.  Jeongin’s pupils blow out at the petname, “that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

He shakes his head softly and you reach up to gently stroke his blushing ears.  “Okay, Innie, when I come back, I expect you stripped and kneeling on the bed.  Can you do that for me, Kitten?”

Jeongin gulps and nods vigorously, scrambling to get hisyour shirt off.  “Can I please touch myself?” He begs, his pretty eyes wide and glossy.  Your stomach burns at the thought of your pretty little baby stroking himself and you nod, “Just no cumming.  I know you want to be good for me.”  Jeongin whimpers and nods.  You smirk and leave the room, leaving him to obey you.

[buckleysjareau]

So, for a prompt, how would you feel about the firefam meeting the BAU team?? Bc in my mind, Buck would get along shockingly well with Reid and Garcia while Eddie and Morgan just brood about their favorite ppl not paying attention to them.

omg yes!!! i love this prompt! the beginning is kind of dramatic but i wanted to give a reason for the bau to be there haha :) hope you like it!

The entirety of the one-eighteen had been on edge the entire week. Not only had their calls been emotionally and physically taxing, but Los Angeles seems to have found itself another serial bomber. According to Athena, the LAPD called in the FBI to help investigate after twists and turns and empty leads. 

The reassurance from Athena that they’ve got Behavioral Analysts working hours upon hours with the police department to find the bomber did nothing for Buck’s nerves. It didn’t really do much for the team’s nerves, either. The whole team had been affected by the ladder truck bombing and though they know Freddie is locked away, trauma doesn’t let you think rationally sometimes. When they’re not out on calls, they’re hypervigilant. When they’re out on calls, they’re hypervigilant. At home, they’re either sleeping with one eye open or not at all. 

Buck definitely wasn’t sleeping. He checks every possible location in his apartment where a bomb could be hidden before he leaves for work and as soon as he gets home. He sits awake on the couch when he should be sleeping, waits for a knock or a sound of someone leaving something outside of his door. He hasn’t opened his mail the entire week, just leaves it in his mailbox until his landlord has to check on him to see if he’s alive. He rushes to offer to clean the trucks before anyone else can just so he can check closely for a bomb. 

Which is exactly what he’s doing when two men walk into the station. He hears Bobby greet them but doesn’t pay attention to the rest until his name is called. That makes his heart beat speed up quicker than the speed of a moving bullet. 

When Buck slides himself out from under the truck - he revels in the fact that he can - his eyes widen when he notices the guns holstered on their sides and he’s terrified to find out what the FBI wanted him for.

“You must be Evan. I’m Agent Morgan with the FBI and this is Dr. Spencer Reid, we were wondering if we could ask you a couple of questions?” 

“Buck. Just Buck.” He clears his throat. “Why?”

“Do you remember anything about the night Freddie Costas bombed the truck you were on?”

“Why are you asking? Why do you guys need to know what happened? I’m not the one that was targeted. Can’t you just watch the news report, I know it’s everywhere.” His voice is shaky, he knows he sounds paranoid and panicked but that didn’t matter. Why is the FBI asking him?

“We need more information from those involved with the bombings last ye-” Buck scoffs, cutting Dr. Reid off. 

“Why ask me then? I wasn’t targeted, I wasn’t on that kid’s kill list, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is Freddie involved in this again somehow?”

“Buck, man, I know it’s gotta be tough to talk about it, this whole station was affected but you were there closest to him when you were trapped. Anything you can remember about that night could help.” Agent Morgan sighs. “Freddie Costas might have had a partner.”

Well fuck.

“Ask Bobby. He was the original target, he has a vendetta against Bobby.” Buck pushes passed the agents, practically shoving Dr. Reid in the process and he can hear the lecture Athena would give about disrespecting law enforcement. 

He winces internally as he thinks about the lecture he’s about to get from his Captain. Great, this is fucking great.

Three days later of restless sleep and constant worrying, Buck gets a call from Bobby on his day off. His heart is in his throat as he answers.

The speed at which his entire body relaxes the second he hears they got her makes Buck dizzy, almost. His knees buckle, falling to his couch in shocked and relieved laughter. He listens as Bobby tells him that Freddie’s partner was a girlfriend who knew her way around making explosives and by Freddie’s orders, she had planned to send one to Bobby and Athena’s again and one to Buck’s for making Freddie’s sentence longer. The fact that he was actually targeted makes him feel a little sick to his stomach but he’s just so full of relief that it’s over again, he laughs.

He feels guilty for the way he’d treated the agents he spoke to. He goes over it in his head as he heads to Bobby’s for dinner after he’d gotten his first full night of sleep in weeks. He shoved a federal agent, cut them off, rolled his eyes. He’d acted like a child and though Bobby didn’t tell him that, he felt like he was being scolded by a father rather than lectured by his captain.

When he arrives at the Grant-Nash’s, Athena greets him at the door and takes the bottle of red wine from his hand with a smile. “Well you look more well rested than I’ve ever seen you, Buckaroo. How’re you doing?”

“Well I’m not crushed under a ladder truck or blown to-” He’s cut off by his own shock at seeing people he definitely didn’t know standing in the Grant-Nash’s living room. His eyes landed on the younger agent he wished he’d had a chance to apologize to not five minutes before. “Uh, hi?”

“Buck, these guys are from the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. I’m sure you remember Agent Morgan and Dr. Reid?”

Buck’s face flushes. “Uh, yeah, I do. Nice to see you again, agents. Sorry about the way I acted, truly. Lack of sleep does that to you, I guess.” 

“There’s no need to be, there’s no hard feelings. We understand.” Dr. Reid smiles respectfully. 

“Yeah, no need. The important thing is that we caught her and you can put this behind you again.” Morgan holds out a fist and Buck returns it to fist bump. “You can drop the title, by the way. It’s Derek.”

“Endearing as it is to see you guys bro out, I would like to get this party started.” A woman with dark hair chimes in as she grabs the bottle of wine that Buck brought. “Oh, and he brought the good stuff. Hello, I’m Emily Prentiss and you have good taste.”

Buck snorts as he shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you. Honored to have your approval.”

She’s about to respond before she’s cut off by a squeal. “Bucky!”

His entire face lights up as he turns towards the voice. “Christopher!” 

“Mr Reid pulled a quarter out of my ear just like you can do! You’re both magic!” Buck lets out a startled laugh. “You also both know a lot of facts!”

“Oh, do we have another Boy Genius amongst us right now?” A blonde woman, who seems to embody sunshine, squeals from Buck’s right. “I’m Penelope Garcia, Garcia, PG, girl of your dreams, whatever you want.”

Buck already adores her attitude and vibe.

“Pretty Boy here’s got an IQ of 187, can read 20,000 words per minute, and has an eidetic memory. How about you, man?” Morgan pipes up.

Buck snorts. “I don’t know my IQ, I definitely can’t read that many words per minute, and I never claimed to be a genius. I just like to read, man. Random stuff in history, astrology, stuff Christopher’s into, philosophy-”

Reid’s eyebrows shoot up in interest. “Who’s your favorite philosopher?”

Thus, a conversation is started. Penelope joins in at the mention of Immanuel Kant and Buck is happy Athena invited them over before they left. He’s lost in a conversation and learning new things and more importantly, he’s made new connections for the day. Eddie joins when the conversation turns to Doctor Who, something that Buck never knew Eddie was into. When he leaves to talk to Aaron Hotchner about baseball, Buck watches as he walks away before getting sucked back into another conversation about black holes.

Across the room from him, Eddie sits with Emily, Derek and a woman he now knows as JJ. He’s laughing as Emily teases him about something. What it could be about, Buck doesn’t know, but seeing Eddie laugh makes his heart soar.

“Oh?” Penelope smirks. “Eddie, huh? What’s going on there?”

Buck’s eyes widen at the unexpected question. “What? Nothing.”

Reid, who didn’t even seem to be one for gossip, scoffs. “Do you know what the BAU does? We study human behavior. The entire time Eddie was over here, you leaned into him whenever you talked. You would brush your hand against his and whenever you’d laugh about something, you’d tap his chest. You only looked at him the entire conversation, you were hanging onto every word. The amount of eye contact between the two of you was evident. When JJ came behind us and knocked into Eddie, you put your arm out to protect him. Classic mannerisms of someone in love.”

“But Eddie does that stuff too. It’s not just me.” Buck really thinks he’s making a point.

Penelope laughs. “Oh, honey, you’re exactly right. This isn’t an unrequited love trope here. Our friends are over there probably teasing him for the same thing right now. You don’t need to be a profiler to see he’s in love with you, too.”

Buck looks over to Eddie along with Penelope and Reid. Eddie’s face is red and he’s looking down as JJ talks exasperatedly. Then Eddie is looking up and catches the three of them staring. Buck’s face is on fire as he waves awkwardly. Derek, Emily, and JJ look up as well and smirk at each other.

“I think I hate profilers.” Buck deadpans. 

Across the room, Eddie says the same thing.

[bujokookie]

hey! if u don't mind me asking can u pls tell me why spotify isn't good? i've been considering getting spotify bc of everyone talking abt how superior it is and i'd love to hear an alternative opinion bc ive been very much on the fence. thank u! 🌸

Helloo ^.^, lol just wanted to say that I’m not a Spotify anti and before I go on I have used Apple Music for like 4 yrs so my opinions are based on comparisons so pls take with a grain of salt.

Okay! So I’ve used Spotify for less than a month and in the beginning I had some functionality issues which I found exasperating. One of them being that there was no rewind button feature on my lockscreen, so in order to take back a song and relisten to it I had to change it through the control center or go back into the app, or hold onto that lil line and scrub. Another one was that my AirPods Pro double tap feature to either fast forward or rewind only did the former so i was contantly hovering over the app. (Unlocking my phone is a hassle for me cause I walk around without it on me or it’s shoved in my purse/armband when I run or I listen on my iPad which I don’t lug around the house).

The algorithm is also very try hard, it’s like it’s rushing to pay attention to you. I’m sure people like this but for me it’s like “i listened to this track for half a minute It’s not my favorite 😭”. I’m not sure if this is a setting you can turn off but the list of songs never end 😳. I was freaked out when I finished listening to the last song on an album, the algorithm just continues playing other songs (either from the same artist or similar artists). This happened when I finished listening to The Boyz and it started playing a stray kids song, not exactly a fan of stray kids guys so it felt like I was forced to listen to them. That being said I do enjoy some of the perks of the algorithm, I’ve only been on Spotify for a short time but with its help I was able to add songs a lot quicker to my library. The daily mix recs are also really spot on.

The layout is -.- sigh~ everything is all just clustered into 3 bottom bar options. The first one has all these things put into one, podcasts, recently played, your fav artists, radio etc. The second is your search bar And third is your library (these aren’t bad). Nice and minimal but once I’m in that first one I’m overwhelmed and don’t even scroll past the first two subheadings. There is also no lyrics feature for like 95% of the songs on there. I listen to mumble rappers like Young Thug and Roddy Rich so I like to know wth they’re saying lol. Some songs have moving images which is pretty cool.

Anyhow, whatever perks you’ve heard about Spotify from others is most likely true and I can even say worthwhile. I know that cause my friend has like 2 Google home minis for free and gets these reciptify thingie that excites her lol. It’s also tax free, Apple Music Canada started taxations on its service at the beginning of this year so it costs a bit more. Basically I felt like making a switch was kind of pointless as an Apple user, if you use android then I definitely would recommend Spotify. I chose to switch cause my friend told me that it has a memory space saver option. I hoard songs so my Apple Music currently takes up 30gb of my 64gb phone -.- but do research more beforehand who knows the benefits highlited by others might entice you more. <3

[kateeorg]

Point-by-Point Scoob Analysis (second viewing, bc I’m bored)

Spoilers below!

Why Venice Beach, I have to wonder? And why this song? I don’t dislike it, but I’m curious about the reasoning

The gyro scene is really fun XD

Shaggy’s intro is perfect - the music, the “Casey’s Creations” and Mystery Machine aesthetics, just beautiful. You can see the little shake in his hand as he switches to the podcast - he’s so alone :(

“I lose a lot of balls” funny AND sad. And Young Sheldon being lonely is on point for him

Gyro meat  - convenient! But yeah, I can see how Shaggy’s weird lunch combos would be off-putting to others

Oh, he found him ON Halloween?? That’s so odd. (But on brand)

“Well mostly man. It’s mostly just the suit that’s falcon.”

“Like no way bruh” Really? That... sounds odd coming from Shaggy.

...Since when do young boys care about blood sugar? Also, “We’re okay with that” XD

Baby Fred, Daphne, and Velma are also perfect

...No. No no. RBG is not a Slytherin. But that, braces Velma and Hogwarts references very much modernize the series and put them firmly in modern day (without going too out there).

The kids are such badasses, it’s awesome

The replication of the original credits is *perfect* - they even got the original Space Creep sound 

Scooby handles the accounting? Also, how old are they supposed to be? If they’re expected to pay taxes and get called millennials, are they late 20s?

I’m really not convinced by the Simon Cowell bit, I’m sorry. They could have made him a bland British investor, not attached to the name. There really should have been some more time invested in this scene (but I AM glad Mystery Inc never agreed with Simon, or even considered he was right) (Also Simon - haven’t you heard of networking? Making friends to get ahead?)

Scooby bowling is such great physical comedy, and the chase is very Scooby Doo

Hyper-specific police code ftw

Falcon Fury!

You know Scooby and Shaggy are having a bad day when they’re *happy* to be in danger

The falcon entrance is admittedly funny

I really wish if Blue Falcon and Dynomutt had to have such a bug role, there’d been more about how Dynomutt feels about his original owner basically ditching him.  It seemed like that was supposed to have more significance, and then it didn’t.

The shake button XD and Dastardly is fantastic from the first

...right, because this script wasn’t also written by middle-aged men.

Also, how’d she know about the blue light?

Velma fanning out is fun

The robots make me uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why. 

Muttley <3

I appreciate that Falcon was trying to be resourceful.

“You’re now out of... everything.”

Scooby and Shaggy’s gift is to inspire - they’re the lucky charm

...And this is where I started to dislike Falcon. He’s just... he’s too dumb. The bravado is one thing, but  then Fred is a little too similar. I think Falcon is supposed to be a foil for Shaggy, but I don’t know... didn’t quite work for me.

OH! I didn’t get the connection between the Greek restaurant at the beginning and the Cerberus plot until now! Nice.

DeeDee deserves more credit, hands down. Honestly, make her Blue Falcon.

I love all the references in the arcade - Hex Girls, Hong Kong Phooey, LaffALympics

The fun house scene is really cool! And funny, so colorful

My mom really liked this bit with the Ferris Wheel and the bumper cars and the smoke cloud - more traditionally cartoony

And I started to dislike Falcon more here. -__- (Like you acknowledge Shaggy is hurting and then just decide let’s give the dog a super suit instead of focusing on the mission? 90% of what goes wrong in this move is his fault and I don’t like it)

Okay. I get that Shaggy is really insecure. And Scooby isn’t reassuring him at all. But it feels like there’s more going on here, and I wish he’d had the chance to talk about it more than he did to give us more context. (But I still maintain this is less contrived than Shaggy falling for that Mary Jane girl in the live action film, so I’ll let it pass)

I actually really like Daphne’s characterization as the people person (though I feel real bad Grey DeLisle wasn’t given a chance to voice her), and how the gang are quick to realize how much Shaggy and Scooby contribute. They were never down on them, but it’s still important. 

Messick Mountain :)

Velma as Dynomutt was great

I do really like the plot and how it ties to friendship. Also, Muttley is perfect, my parents loved him.

Poor man’s Hemsworth

I initially questioned whether Scooby would really be safer off the ship. But of course that’s not the point - this kicks off the conflict. Remember kids: NEVER give someone an ultimatum. 

I appreciate that this was the only poop joke in the movie. Unlike the original Scooby Doo movie...

And now Shaggy realizes he was an ass. But seriously - the “Shaggy’s refusal to change is tearing them apart” thing needed a little more finessing. I see where they were going, but didn’t quite make it home.

The Captain Caveman bit was a little... eh? Not sure what I’d put there instead. It does the point of showing Falcon and Scooby they’re not really traditional hero material.

Scooby looks so sad as he gets taken :(

See, this is where I feel like Falcon and Fred were too similar, though it is pretty funny

See... I don’t think this speech was earned. It’s beautiful. If I saw it in isolation it would be great. But something was missing in the buildup. I can’t see how Shaggy made it from “I screwed up” to “Friendship changing is okay.” 

This whole Athens bit is so beautiful and cinematic, I hope this gets a chance to be in theaters someday!

Flying mystery machine! 

FLUFFY!

Mystery Inc reunion <3 But poor Fred, his van up in flames

(Someone set this to “Your Wagon is On Fire” from Trail to Oregon!)

Dastardly and Muttley is actually pretty sweet, but not a Scooby-Shaggy redux. (My parents love the snicker)

THE ASCOT RETURNS! But this is usually the part where he figures out a trap.

Scooby and Shaggy growing and embracing their roles on the team <3

“I’m so weak” - my parents and I laughed hysterically at this

The Dynomutt-Falcon moment was nice :) (again, not sure it was earned). Also, cool wings are cool.

This really is a Scooby Doo Avengers

Shaggy becomes important in the worst possible way :( 

“Back when we were kids, you saved me. Now it’s my turn.” Damn with the feeeeels

Scoooby :( 

“But why would Alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever?” Martyrdom is not the only way, y’all

Aw, Dynomutt is trying

Had to throw in an unmasking

I guess they got backing after all! 

(Wait... was Dick Dastardly the Simon Cowell at the beginning??? That would make so much sense, actually!! Is this confirmed?! )

Don’t know how I feel about the new Mystery Machine, but Fred is happy :)

DeeDee deserves a raise

Falcon Force! Falcon realizes he needs friends too. But Dastardly is at large...

Okay, second watch was less off-putting. I do like it! It’s colorful and sticks to the cartoon, and there’s clearly so much love here, for Scooby and all of Hanna Barbara. Admittedly, this isn’t really a mystery - it’s a superhero origin story, which admittedly the trailers should have prepared me better for. But we’ve seen Scooby mysteries on the big and small screen, so I see why they had to change it up to justify such a blockbuster animation project. (Not unlike Recess: School’s Out going from middle school slice of life to save-the-world adventure.) And we do get mystery-solving shenanigans in the beginning.

But as a result, things do feel a tad bit dumbed down, particularly with Blue Falcon, Fred, and Shaggy’s development. I don’t love that aspect, but I can see why that compromise had to be made.

So all in all, I think it’s a solid film! It’s more Trolls than Pixar, but honestly? Not sure I’d have Scooby Doo any other way. 

[abpoli]

I work in oil and gas. I saw first hand what sort of shit the PCs pulled. I saw Jason Kenney's federal handiwork as Immigration Minister at work with unqualified TFWs being brought onto sites and blowing up propane cylinders because they all had faked their qualifications and didn't understand anything. I saw hundreds of people lose their jobs because of poor planning from previous governments. I got a front row seat to incredible shitshow that was carbon capture, where the client's engineers were actively talking about what a white elephant carbon capture was, and how it was a giant make work project at the province's expense. I helped build extraction facilities that were slated from the start to funnel our money to the US, extraordinarily blatantly to a Calumet refinery in Montana that was designed solely to profit at the expense of Canadians. I saw the only value-added project at NWR come around because Redford was trying to use it as a Hail Mary to distract people, which, by the way, was notorious as being never really supposed to happen outside of the surveying and being a way for Stelmach's ranching buddies to sell the province their land at a premium over a premium.

And on the commercial side of things, well, I'm well aware of the scramble that's come around because of our failing infrastructure. Amazing what happens when you don't build things where they're needed. Things like new hospitals to serve growing areas, which, I'm sorry to inform you, are not really rural areas. But do end up serving rural areas, when they end up driving to Edmonton or Calgary when they need the sort of services that need to have things like dedicated lab networks, which can only really exist where there is everyone that has to staff all of those primary and supporting services.

There was a huge thing about the previous PC governments, that that was crony capitalism. I'd never vote for anyone out to destroy the people that built this province. Or their kids, whether they're little gay kids that need a GSA for support or ones trying to fund post-secondary that don't deserve to be paid less for their hard work. Or the health care system, which, interestingly enough, is mostly inefficient because of our incredibly overbuilt rural health care network. It's awesome, because everyone deserves the right to be healthy and not have to be med-evaced everywhere. But I know that if I was looking for something to slash to bring down costs, that would be a pretty tempting cherry. Assuming that it's not outright privatized.

The fact of the matter is is that Alberta succeeded in spite of our governments. And we finally have a premier who's not looking to line their own pockets or reward their friends with sweetheart contracts. And you want to go back to that, because you've got rose coloured glasses on. Well, I sincerely hope that you can afford the consequences, because it's gonna fall on every single person who's not a "job creating" business owner. Things like toll roads (which, interestingly enough, will cost the rural Albertan more than me), public-private partnerships that never work out right but end up enriching shareholders out of the taxpayer's pocket, and catering to the charter schools of faith-supremacist groups at the expense of our public school systems.

But yeah, let's act like the Carbon Tax is the big problem. And that if we axe the provincial one, the federal one won't instantly come into play and take all that money out of the province. Because that's the biggest thing about it, that if we don't have a provincial one in place, the federal one comes in, and it's Ottawa that decides where the funds from that one goes. And it sure won't be Alberta, because that's not efficient at buying votes. Dumping it into BC, or the Maritimes, or Quebec... that's bang for your buck at a federal level. Sure, Trudeau might not be leader next election, but he is now. And that's where he'll dump it. Andrew Scheer, on the other hand, talks a big game about dumping it, but he'll almost certainly be seduced by the idea of a giant slush fund that he can try and shore up support in Ontario with. Why kill the golden goose when you can make omelets, after all? And why spend in Alberta, when Alberta has shown that they'll vote for a blue rock even if a Conservative government changes the equalization formula to funnel even more money to Quebec from Alberta (ask Kenney about that one, after all, he was part of the government that drafted that revision and he voted for it personally).

If you're looking for someone to blame for the devastation, then it's probably best that we all take the late Jim Prentice's advice, and look in the mirror. Because he was right, and it was all our faults for electing Don Getty. And letting Ralph Klein blow up a hospital so he could pay for a cardboard sign. And for letting Ed Stelmach have an entire mandate dictated by backroom party hacks. And for letting Alison Redford live her petro-shiekh fantasies on our dime. At least we showed Prentice what happens when you come down from on high without any real answers. But hey, Jason Kenney totally won't be like the rest. It's not like he started out on the payroll of US lobby groups taking pet issue stances for pay. It's not like he sold out Canadians by rubber stamping TFWs and letting big companies do whatever they want, federally. And it's not like he hasn't come out and said that his platform is going to hurt Albertans (to be fair, that was one of his candidates, and he just didn't refute it).

But yeah, the NDP are the problem for trying to deal with 40 years of mismanagement. So let's get rid of someone competent who's stood up for Albertans because they started in the worst case scenario and has been steadily working to bring things back to the best of what this province can be. After all, Rachel Notley won her leadership race fair and square, so obviously she can't be devious enough to drive this province back into being a dumpster fire, since she didn't have a federal MP's job to get paid not to do while rigging a leadership campaign against rivals.

Also, because I forgot:

THE PREMIER OF ALBERTA DOES NOT SET OIL PRICES.

Which, you know, is one huge reason that we've had problems with revenues besides slashing the tax base. And I do mean YUUUUUUUUUUGE, with a Y, because it comes right out of the supply side handbook.

Stolen from Sterling Matan on facebook.

[monohart]

bread. (highschool!au)

ft. hwang hyunjin, bread and angst-fluff.

chan bet you couldn’t make bread

you bet you could

changbin put 50 bucks for can’t

actually

everyone betted against you, including your boyfriend hyunjin

he gave you a wink from the other side of the room and you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry

he wasn’t kidding when he warned you last night that if you bet against them, they’re either all for you, or all against you

you couldn’t even take out your anger on him for being so annoying without being too obvious

because hyunjin wasn’t a fan of pda... or any publicity for that matter

so it was silly but none of the others knew you two were going out

y’all been dating in secret for almost a full year

“i just don’t wanna share you with the others”

it was a pathetic excuse but the relationship was between you two only so who cares if nobody else knew

right??

anyway

you didn’t spend most an entire summer learning to bread and pastries with your aunt to Lose the bet

but long story short you won the bet and you were like the tax collector that day

changbin lowkey thought you were pretty cool hated you from then

in the afternoon, hyunjin ditched soccer practice to hang out with you because he was kinda very extremely super proud that you pulled through with the bet and showed the boys what you were capable of

the entire time they ate your bread he was just like

wow... damn i’m lucky

you had lots of assignments to get through so he came to help

you guys didn’t really have a secret hideout so you brought him home.

one thing led to another and

y’all ended up snuggling on your carpet

he was in his soccer gear aka Dirty™ so you didn’t let him on the bed

but at the same time you were so deprived of getting pampered by him so the carpet had to do

“but now i’ve dirtied your carpet, haven’t i?”

you punch him and he laughs his stupid cute little laugh :<

you send him off right before dinner because y’all didn’t want parents to start asking questions about you two

seungmin was your neighbour and should be coming home from soccer practice (the one hyunjin ditched) so the goodbye was short and sweet

you watch him sprint down the street and turn to you just before disappearing around the corner, to blow you another kiss

he was a soft baby to you but when it came to his friends the most he could do was sit next to you and tease you till no end

and quite often his teasing made you really quite genuinely annoyed at him bc

lol hwang hyunjin is a lil shit have you seen him

sometimes you hated him for being such an ass in front of his friends

but then you think of the soft moments like when y’all cuddle and kiss and go on secret dates... you always forgive him in the end.

not too long later everything happened, you had the urge to make bread again.

and this time you wanted to bake one just for him!!!

also bc your first anniversary was coming up yo it should be cute and special right? :))

you didn’t tell him your plans and neither of you spoke about the special day.

you decide it was all gonna be a surprise.

when the day came, you got up extra early to make sure you made the perfect loaf.

you weren’t disappointed with your results!!! it looked and smelt amazing and hyunjin would love it

you took the earlier bus to get to school bc you were gonna wait outside the gym for him bc he had compulsory gym training.

thankfully you knew only hyunjin and woojin were gonna be at the session so you really only had to avoid one person

that was woojin

oof

poor woojin lol he was kinda happy to see u but you pretended to not hear him through your headphones

when hyunjin walked out, your heart dropped like 10-fold bc he had like 29475959 friends from his other classes with him

so you yell out his name and pass the well-wrapped loaf to him

he did that dick move where he smiled and halfassed a nod to you and continue walking with his friends

honestly.. honestly honestly.. you were a bit like :/

only because he seemed indifferent to see you and stuff

but like ok whatever at least he took it

but you also had another present for him which was a card and letter you spent a lot of time on

so you push past his friends to walk beside him ask if y’all could perhaps talk

“we’re talking now, aren’t we?”

:<

and his friend who you weren’t familiar with butts in right there and goes all “ooo another suitor?? another girlfriend?? damnnn.. hwang hyunjin you dAWG”

a..another girlfriend..?

you didn’t even have time to process what he said bc that “friend” clapped hyunjin’s shoulder

and

and he dropped the loaf

y’all watched as it rolled down the stairs and the wrapping tore in half so the loaf tumbled out onto the dirty corridor floor

his friends started laughing and someone at the bottom of the staircase kicked the loaf around like a soccer ball

you look at hyunjin and he was laughing along with his friends??? ??

you ripped the letter you wrote into pieces and threw it at his face

and he looked at you in shock and surprise but

you left immediately

lowkey bumped into woojin on the way to class

but you left him in the dust because you just felt so so so humiliated and hurt

it was lunchtime

seungmin and felix were a bit confused as to why you walked straight past their table to sit with your other friends

hyunjin was still confused poor baby actually completely forgot about your anniversary so he thought you made another bet to make bread

you had history class with him after lunch, but you moved to the front of the classroom

which is somewhere he would never sit.

he kept throwing pieces of paper at you to ask why you were all the way at the front

even got some people to pass notes to you

all of which you ignored

:<

it took him until last period to figure out why you were giving him the cold shoulder

he was sitting in physical education class — watching some documentary about dance or smth

and obvs his headass wasnt paying the slightest bit attention to the film but he was thinking of you instead

and why you wore a permanent frown since the start of the day

while thinking of you he suddenly realised the date

then all the events of the day rushed into his mind all at once - from you waiting outside the gym, to the loaf incident, to your expression as you blind sided him and the boys the entire day

without asking for permission he ran out of class and straight to your chemistry class where y’all were doing filtration tests

and he stormed into the lab, spotting you immediately

you were working with minho, your lab partner, in the far corner, and y’all were giggling over a joke or smth but as soon as you saw hyunjin you turned away immediately

and it really broke his heart because he knew he was the reason why you were so uncomfortable

by then, the entire class was asking hyunjin why he was there

but all he could see was you trying to exit out the back

and he had no idea what came over him

but the entire class started screaming (esp minho) when he ran up to you and hugged you tightly

obvs like you were still mad at him so you knee-d him lol

and the entire class continued screaming (esp minho) as you pushed him out of the classroom and shut the door on him

needless to say the rest of the lab session was Super Awkward and minho tried not to make eye contact with you

(in case he gets knee-d too right)

by the end of the day you still couldn’t get over how the entire day was ruined and you rushed home before the bell rang bc u just had enough and some alone time was much nneeded

when the doorbell rang after dinnertime you wanted to cry because you were the only one at home

and you had to answer it because what if it was something urgent

but

what if it was hyunjin... who you didn’t want to see...

it was hyunjin ofc

he was wearing his sports gear and it seem like he was just out for a run

you started to close the door but he did that cheesy thing where he pushed it open again

and before you could speak, he kneeled down

you panic for a moment

but he got himself together and apologised.

because he knew since day one how important anniversaries were to you and he really had no excuse for forgetting, and he realises how you much like crap you must’ve felt when his other gym friends made fun of you and your gift and he was so unforgivably sorry because he laughed with them

he really shouldn’t have

but he did because they were just a couple of dumb teenage guys who liked to joke around without a care in the world

you see that he was really struggling and stumbling over his words

and deep down you knew how much you meant to him and how scared he was of losing you

you pulled him up and hugged him because you didn’t want him to continue or else you’d start crying real hard

so you kissed him to finally shut him up

but you hadn’t forgiven him yet so he was still hesitant to return your kiss but you cupped his cheeks and bite his cute fat lips that were just a little fatter because you were squishing his cheeks

you tell him that you really really didn’t want to hide your relationship anymore and he nodded without hesitation and then you tell him you’d forgive him if he kissed you properly

he didn’t hesitate at all uwu

after a really long time hhh y’all finally parted to Breathe a lil... gosh

you stare at his lips and see them all swollen and rosy and it made you shy bc Girl you did That hhhh

and he’s looking at you in the same way bc yours were swollen too and y’all stand there holding onto each other for who knows how long but then he wanted to kiss you again and you wanted him to kiss you too so he did

by the time y’all pulled away Again y’all were breathing and laughing and crying and laughing and just feeling all the emotions at once

and he rested his forehead against yours and tells you he’ll make you a loaf of bread instead

and you cry just a bit harder which sends him off too

w-why is he such a baby :(

not that you were complaining though.. because he tells you that he’s really been a better version of himself since he met you

and all the worries and things that make you scared about relationships just seemed irrelevant

because you and him were in this together

and it was the best feeling ever.

[fluffy-flock]

Idk why Tumblr likes to delete my asks instead of saving them as drafts 8)

But here we go, from @amuseoffirebane !

Laith -

Despite what he himself and everyone around him thinks, Laith can be incredibly smart. His big talents come in the umbrella of emotional smarts, and then animal and medical know how. He learns very well when he's interested in the topic and has a good teacher. Laith just doesn't learn in traditional environments, like reading and memorizing or listening to a lecture.

Eventually, in modern settings, he becomes a licensed doctor and works at a hospital for a while, before deciding he needs to leave. He's very empathetic, and I think it would be too emotionally taxing to work there day in and day out. Eventually he becomes an event planner and, while he sometimes wishes he could put his actual degree to more use, he's very happy!

Excerpt:

Laith is familiar with Kaenun's office, but walks around anyway. He looks over the little decorations. It was cute, he felt pretty at home here.

Laith almost stops to tell him he's not obligated again, but shuts his mouth. Clearly Kaenun likes him and wants to do this, and he should really stop insisting that he doesn't have to do any of these basic friendship things. He instead just listens to the music and the typing. At first he just sways a little while he looks over the office, but some point after he ends up behind Kaenun, he's dancing. It is very cute, and actually doesn't look bad. It's mostly bopping along as he walks around, still in the blanket and humming.

Laith suddenly remembers they were talking.

"Oh, it's not so much of a drive. Absolitely worth it for your company, Kae."

Kaenun smiles as he continues typing, actually finishing up by the time Laith speaks. He saves the document and and turns around. He's surprised Laith hasn't moved to sit anywhere yet - the floor and counterspace were free game, but his friend stood.

"Should I get a second chair?" Kaenun hums. If he was younger and more flirtatious he might have just pulled Laith into his lap, but he does not. Not yet anyway.

"Ah, I was just having fun dancing and looking around. Did I ever tell you that I used to take dance?"

Kaenun shakes his head. "Not that I recall. Was it fun?"

"So much fun! My parents made me take ballroom for forever, and it was okay, but then I tried ballet and it was so much fun but ow?? I didn't really have the commitment. Swing was my favorite- I did it all the way through high school even..."

Jack -

Jack and Jol are honestly both so dear to me. My favorite stories with Jack are ones where he learns to finally let someone else take care of him, he has a very hard time not trying to be an obelisk. Especially because his best friend/little sibling does genuinely need a lot of support. It frustrates Jolyean to no end when he won't accept their help, honestly.

He has a girlfriend that @im-schrodingers-gay writes that is very good at both calling him out on letting toxic masculinity stop him from being vulnerable, and also making him feel safe. He love her 😢 So much. His brothers have a harder time, Tristan is really the closest to him, and the brother (outside of Jol) who can get Jack to talk about his problems. They have a really good relationship honestly? It helps that Tristan is very laid back. Owen and Jack get along the least, mostly because they're incredibly similar but just off enough to get on each others' nerves. When they're older (20s/30s in human 'verses) they sort things out, and stop tripping over each other trying to be in control of everything.

Excerpt

"I could have been part of the fun but noooo." Alim teased in a mock whine.

His husband smiled and nudged his side. "You never asked to be a part of the fun."

"You never asked me to be part of the fun."

"Know what's really fun?" Jack finally spoke up, nearly forgotten in the back, face on fire. "Not knowing who my parents have slept with. That's super fun. It's my favorite, actually."

Jolyean put a hand on Jack's arm, shoulders trembling with the effort of putting on a serious voice past his giggling. "Y-you have to let them go, Jack. They're their own people now. They're adults." He laughed and covered his grin, more leaning on Jack now.

Daiye laughs, but can't help feeling a little embarrassed. "I-"

"They can make their own choices, we have to let them be free to- to-" His youngest dissolves into another fit of giggles, and Jack crosses his arms with a heavy sigh. His eyes turn up to the clouds, either avoiding eye contact or praying for divine intervention. Or at least for everyone to move so he can leave.

"I don't want to hear it, I'm locking them both in their room." He glares down as his family giggles. In truth he's not so upset, but is used to playing the straight man, now "I'm stronger, I could carry you both back."

Daiye held back his own laughter."J-Jack, sweetheart, I'm sorry..."

Jolyean -

My beautiful baby 😢😢😢 I just fjfnskso love,,,,, so much

Jolyean is my little bundle of sunshine and I would kill and die for him? In human verses he makes....not the best choices, and ends up in maybe not the best crowds, but his family and his real friends help keep him safe. Karli and Jack especially play big roles in that! Mostly by trying to build his confidence back up after getting out of his bio parents house and after his first (very very Not Good) boyfriend.

But it's okay, bf man pays for it.

... In fantasy settings, Jay actually Takes Him Out, but it's fiiiiiine.

(It's not fine, Jol is upset bc he's too soft hearted to believe anyone should deserve to die.)

(Also several family members are bothered that Jay beat them to it.)

But here's an excerpt from the good boyfriend! For context of her describing what she's wearing, he was born blind.

"Surely, I'd hate for you too overheat."

Jolyean scoffs. "Psh, we're on top of a mountain! I'll cool down eventually. Just might have to remove a few layers..."

Vincent laughs a little and grins. "Exactly how many layers are we talking?"

She smiles wider, hearing him laugh. And his little smile was just so charming. She adjusts her hood and perks up, tossing her hair back behind her shoulder. Really, for her own benefit.

"Weeeeell, I've got my cloak, and then a little jacket and my gloves and scarf, and then my dress- not the big fluffy kind, just an A-line but really thick because it's so cold up here. And then...you know. Stuff. So quite a lot of layers to work with."

"So many that you may not be able to do it yourself?" A sly smile comes to his face, and he hopes he isn't inching too far over the line. Quite the contrary, she is delighted.

"Oh, no, there's far too many clasps for me to get it myself. And there's some on the back, it's so much work on my own..." She sighs, sorrowfully.

"So what I'm hearing is..." He leans in, and her heart pounds a little faster. She leans in a little more, looking over his handsome face and sighing softly.

"...Your parents still dress you?"

"I- hey!" She straightens up and, after mentally catching up, laughs with him. "Oh, that was good- touché, Vincent. No, actually I just wear the same outfit everyday. Bathing is below me."

[blipblorpsnork]

like god okay what a small detail like. okay so like shoves all my thoughts into a cup and shakes it til they meld properly OKAY. So like I’m super used to third wheeling, and not even in an explicitly bad way. I walk a bit slow, and when I’m out with friends and we’re window shopping and shit if it’s three of us it genuinely always ends up that I get left out of conversation because I wander and am a bit? Idk like, zoney? Like wispy, when I’m out window shopping, with or without friends, I’m not sure how to explain that.

oh my god this is three miles long so I’m putting it under a cut

Anyways the thing is, people always end up walking ahead of me; I always get pushed to the back (partly because I DON’T like people walking behind me in groups unless it’s in a structured line, it freaks me out) and like because of that, and because I’m very bad with social stuff sometimes I almost always get excluded from conversations. I don’t know how to add to them, and I don’t get addressed because I don’t participate, so eventually between the autism and the hearing issues I just tune people out because it makes more sense to do my own thing a lot of the time.

Last night we were wandering around Walmart, the three of us, just kinda browsing and window shopping because our Walmart is WEIRDLY nice, like it’s one of the best I’ve ever been in and we get loads of cool stuff none of our other friends do, including J despite the fact that he like, lives maybe a half hour to forty minutes out from us near Atlanta. Like it wasn’t anything special; just looking at stuff and making dumb remarks and like. Plastic Mermaid jokes tm lmfao.

J literally made sure I was included the entire time in a way that didn’t even feel like he was going out of his way to do it. Like, he kind of wandered between me and E, and talked with both of us, and when E was going off on one of his tangents to himself (something he does a lot, which we all acknowledge and unless he’s addressing us directly we’re free to listen or not, at his behest; it’s just a thing he does so we aren’t ignoring him by not interacting, just for reference’s sake) J would like, point something out and make a cheeky comment at me, or silently show me a thing that I could ogle or touch because it was soft and stuff like that. And like E wasn’t really paying attention but J and I kept making jokes about all the shoddy plastic mermaid stuff in the kids’ section and kept finding more and more stuff to make increasingly hilarious jokes about, to the point he was like “This is my new aesthetic now” and I was like “Time to delete your page and make a new one!” (He has like 60K + followers on Insta bc he does loads of emo mua stuff)

Like we had so many little inside jokes and he and I kept geeking out over the FNaF stuff together and like, even the little tacky ribbons and bows (like the genuinely ugly ones) in the girls’ clothing section and how even though it was awful we both liked it and like!! Ya know!! And like the entire time all THREE of us were included, but not all the time at the same time if that makes sense? Like we didn’t all have to always be engaged, but we were still all involved, and like we each had little dichotomies going on between us as pairs (me and J, me and E, them two), idk if I’m wording that right lmao. But it didn’t feel forced and it didn’t feel excluding! Which?!

I’ve never had that. Like he always makes me feel like I matter and am literally a part of the group, instead of an afterthought or a tag-a-lolng. And like he does it in a way that makes me know he’s making sure I know, but also does NOT feel like he’s going out of his way to do it. Like it feels super natural. God like it was such small, little things dude like?

And E isn’t into FNaF pretty much at all, but knows we both really are. So he’ll point stuff out to us because he knows how much we love it, but he can’t really engage in the freaking out lmfao. But J was like freaking out with me left and right over so much stuff like over watches and plushes and figurines and stuff (all in Walmart like damn, now that I’m breaking this down we really DO have a good fucking store lmao) and we like discussed lore and made jokes and like.

I HAVEN’T HAD THIS IN SO LONG OKAY????

And then like, so I work somewhere I get an employee discount, and then an additional clothing discount (even on clearanced stuff, which is FANTASTIC because that means if we have clearanced shirts I like, I can get brand new clothing on the super cheap which is something I very much so value as someone who lives well below the poverty line) and because of that I managed to get two FNaF snapbacks for just over 5 dollars after tax, or just under, idr precisely. But basically two LICENSED OFFICIAL SNAPS for 5 bucks. These are 20 dollar hats lmfao. And I gave one of them to J because that’s why I got two of them, yeah? And so like, he got this new hat a week or so ago that he’s OBSESSED with and he wears it everywhere right now, and of course he was wearing it when he got here. I gave him the snap and he IMMEDIATELY swapped out his bunny hat for the snap, and then wore it the literal rest of the night. (Also? It looked REALLY gd good over the red wig he was wearing, god damn that was a look.)

So many little things, you know?? Like so so many holy shit. I’M NOT DONE AAAA

So then like when we got back we decided to marathon Monster High because E and I have never seen it and J is completely in love with it and does loads of cosplays and makeup looks for it on his account right. We marathoned 2 full seasons of it last night, all three of us bundled on the couch in separate blanket piles. (It was actually really fucking funny looking tbh xD) And like I mentioned he could use the blanket I made if he wanted so he spent the rest of the night with it wrapped around his shoulders dragging it everywhere lmfao and then like he mentioned he was in a bundle up and cuddle something quiet kinda mood (all three of us were pretty low energy yesterday so it worked for the best, I feel) so I gave him Ace, who is my current comfort plushy I got recently (he’s a Squishmallow!!) and he spent HOURS just hugging and cuddling and idly playing with Ace and it was the cutest fucking thing oh my g o d.

And like so he and E are close. Dating. I hate it. I still love E. I don’t want to. It hurts. It. Really hurts. And I’ve never really talked about it because I don’t fucking want to, it REALLY hurts me. And every time E would get kinda tentatively snuggly with J (they’re very considerate of me and kind of not sure what they are, so it wasn’t malicious or anything, but it was painful) I would get kinda quiet and just make sure I was focusing on the show or my phone. But by the end of the night, E was laying half on J’s shoulder, and J was sitting cockeyed and leaning heavily into me in a way that didn’t mush my spine or hips (usually a big issue just because I’m fragile lmfao) and like I was casually in contact with him for the last couple hours he was here and just.

So many small things.

And like god fuck you can all ignore this jfc xD But!! So his favorite favorite character, like kin-level seriously-relate-to-him-so-much cosplay-him-on-the-regs character is Jackson. And he really loves Holt as well cause duh of course he does. And like!!! I relate to him so fucking MUCH. And I’ve only seen two seasons but I was internally freaking out because of the way Jackson is and like the music being the trigger for Holt Hyde because I’m extremely sound sensitive and like!!! AAAAAAAAAa new character attachment babey and he was like SUPER SUPER SUPER excited that we both loved MH as much as we did and that I was so IMMEDIATELY attached to Jackson and just.

Gaaaaaaaah. I just. I’m happy. I’m in trouble lmao but man. Right now,,, I’m just happy.

[ufointhesky]

If you’re a head software manager at apple or google right… wouldn’t you be trying to merge as many services or apps into the same ecosystem so that you don’t have to pick between companies and just live off those services instead of carrier subsidies going into satellite shit they live off without even having control of the network cause that’s why the data there is slow… they don’t have control of it.. wouldn’t you be working on making a truly full screen safari or chrome browser with an overlay interface upon scrolling… like Pinterest… how the hell are there ppl that think like you have to be dependent on each others services like Spotify or Apple Music and then I can’t use them on newer not apple devices or even pay for Spotify up until recently on an apple device… cause Spotify doesn’t even sell albums and the only ppl getting fucked are the consumers and the creators… so how do these companies actually think that we will be happy paying 1k or 3.6k plus the device cost every 3 years.. if the credit agencies don’t even work in our favor, and we’re all having an arm pulled by someone that doesn’t even live in the same country.. like satellites are worldwide and there’s no laws saying they can’t charge more in other countries for the services and I’m pretty sure they do that shit… so apple is like that guy in the middle all the time and even if it’s trying to sell creator products… it’s still getting hit by the carriers and infrastructure costs of other ppl. Like today the cost of owning an iPhone in Chicago adds 150 of sales tax but in Indiana it’s still 6.5 percent of its retail price… so how does that make sense… Indiana isn’t a different country.. Chicago isn’t either. You know you have to think, you’re worth 2.5 trillion dollars you should have bigger roles than still being pulled around by an arm and your leg just cause shitty att doesn’t want to partner with auto makers or Comcast with electric companies. And when they suddenly start to do that apple will be in an even worse position than it is bc of shitty management and marketing and product designers do great jobs but they’re not actually general use devices for normal ppl anymore so you end up killing the majority of the install base and pro base if it’s leveled towards one specific base.

[spladoum]

There’s a Sim hanging out of your pocket ... Replies (GIF warning, Very Very VERY Long)

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Uh I wanna add you!

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Derping around with this until I get bored (which is likely to be soon...”

Oh I didn't realize we could add other players. I don't know what my code is yet, but once I fiddle around with a bit more ill be happy to add you ❤

GET OVER HERE, GROUP HUG INCOMING

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

so I just looked at this and it says "in app purchases $2.99 - $99.99 per item" are they out of their minds?

I was certain that no one would be foolish enough to pay for the $99.99 item. (Full disclosure: I have bought about $50 worth of premium cash, some with Paypal, but still ...) After being on the official EA Answers board, I quickly realized that I was quite wrong. Multiple people there are clearly spending hundreds of RL dollars playing this. Someone there was proposing that the developers implement a monthly subscription, even. It’s ... flabbergasting, to say the least. :O

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

I'll admit the cuteness of it, but good grief, I get enough of sims here lol

Haha, fair enough! :) One very big point in the game’s favor imo is that it can more or less play itself. In the immortal words of Ron Popeil, you can “set it and forget it.” So it’s fairly relaxing in that way. Of course, if you’re foolish enough to actually begin to care about your characters, you’re headed for Trauma City eventually!

rollo-rolls replied to your photoset “Today I woke up to find a persistent announcement that it was Méline’s...”

Off topic but... JESUS CHRIST, THIS IS HOW SIMS MOBILE LOOK LIKE? And we thought Sims 1 looked amazing...

Never off-topic! It is pretty amazing how far the tech comes in just fifteen years, isn’t it? :D On the other hand, had the developers actually managed to produce Sims 4 as a true mobile game in this style ... 

hyperkaos replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

lol truth!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

EA keeps it consistent :D

mochasims replied to your photo “It’s just not Sims without things like this happening.”

LOL

jenba replied to your photo “I’m not even going to ask. That poor chicken.”

lol :)

getmygameon replied to your photo “I’m not even going to ask. That poor chicken.”

What...on...earth.

There are a lot of times playing this game when you just wonder “How did this slip past QA?” And then you eventually realize that you are the QA, and suddenly the nonsense is understandable. :P In good news, I think they fixed the hot tub glitch! :P

hyperkaos replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

you really need to step back lol

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

Good tip...I didn't know you could do that!

Yesss! That was the only way I could stay alive for quite some time at the start of the game. (Of course, now I have cupcakes falling out of my ears!)

aikea-guinea replied to your photoset “Éme decided to really put some muscle behind learning the restaurant...”

Nice knife skills, Éme!

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “This has been a fun 24-36 hour period. Ever since learning to just let...”

There's a bar?! I need that haha

I wish! I mean, I know the bar is a community-only item for a reason (because there’s jack-all to do at the events), but that would be a good item to have for home usage, dontcha think? Or even as a party item? *ponders* 

treason-and-plot replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

I thought this was TS4 for a long minute :D

I don’t blame you in the least! The amount of stuff in game directly cribbed from Sims 3/4 is pretty unreal. And we’ll give you more of it ... for the low low price of $19.99! (Per item pack.)

goatkibble replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

LMAO

Well, you already know the alternative men planned if I couldn’t find an Adam for him to marry, haha! Stan may yet show up! XD

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Someone leveled up! :O Éme is thinking about getting a job at the...”

Pfft! Smack me XD when you said that 'pie' line my mind went to the gutter til I saw the ACTUAL pie XD I'm sorrrryyyyy! I'm the worst

I can’t begin to imagine why you would think such things of me ...

justanothersimsblog replied to your photo “Apparently someone was listening when I mentioned hot tubs earlier...”

Lol. Well this saved me from checking out what the male's swimsuit looked like! I'm currently waiting for the kitchen event to recharge since I did it too early and it didn't count for the quest *grumbles*

So frustrating! I know they’re learning as they go, but but there’s way too much that isn’t documented adequately so players end up making completely avoidable and/or costly errors.

wannabecatwriter replied to your photo “Apparently someone was listening when I mentioned hot tubs earlier...”

Those bottoms are totally something Eme would wear in cannon story.

He really would ...

getmygameon replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

I'm surprised that game is still going :o

simtonomy replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

Lol, I'm grateful Éme entertained the guests at Reyna's foodie party!

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

Hahaha Ibis is always smile. I was happy to see Eme at the parties, he always looked like he was having a good time.

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “Yes, you’re pretty, asshole. Stop gloating. Geez. Still...”

I love your updates! Éme has shown up at my family's party. He's beginning a friendship with a couple of them. I always enjoy seeing Éme in my game!

Certain of attention, that’s him for sure!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

A good excuse to skip work, though.

It’s amazing what you can do when you’re technically on the clock ...

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

Ha! Too funny =) Did you get your hot tub yet?

getmygameon replied to your photoset “This is Éme. I’m not here, you know what to do.  “Hi, Éme? This is...”

Lol! I started this game last night. I might restart it though bc my initial video didn't record XD

Video?! I can barely take photos and you’re getting videos!?

getmygameon replied to your photoset “And all you wanted was somebody to care …  I went over to the EA...”

Is it bad I started humming the song the second i saw that line? XD

At least it isn’t “More Than Words?” XD

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

They need to include a gifting system because I ended up with two hot tubs and I'd gladly give you one. It took me a while to get the first, then I got a 2nd one right away. I'm hoping the next bag you open is a hot tub!!!

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

^^ seconding this. Gifting would be nice.

Between the hell raised over the hot tub event and the constant question “but y cant we SELL things??????”, I think the developers/coders are pretty aware that some things need to change. The Easter Egg Event was a step in the right direction, as was the in-game feedback survey. Hopefully things improve in future! 

ice-creamforbreakfast replied to your photoset “I now present to you … Éme Gaillard and Derek Solis … err, Adam...”

Somewhere in the world, @goatkibble​ is having a nosebleed at the thought of Adam in not only TS4 style, but TS4 Mobile style XD

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “A few more photos from the past two days. The wedding party was a...”

But "More Than Words" is the jam !!!

goatkibble replied to your photoset “A few more photos from the past two days. The wedding party was a...”

They are so consistent with their canon selves bahahaha

They really are! Even as elders, when not engaged with other people they’re very likely to be chasing each other around the house and canoodling. Eternal luff *sigh*

goatkibble replied to your photoset “Gah … little Rohan Gaillard is super-precious. (And super-expensive!...”

Sounds about right bahahaha

It wouldn’t be so bad that the baby/toddler stuff costs so much, except ... the game has a mechanism in place that regularly breaks items. If your items are more expensive, they cost more to repair, naturally. Baby items are VERY expensive compared to the starter items, so should the toddler bed break more than a couple of times in a day, along with everything else breaking in the house, that could be your daily salary down the drain ...

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “Another day, another $0.72 (after taxes). Éme and Adam are still crazy...”

Kristi's husband (Benjamin) also started a rivalry with Eme. I accidentally clicked the 'confrontational' introduction over the friendly once, and since then whenever he interacts with Eme (who is always hanging around my house) Eme is like 'Oh, it's you' in that tone. Cracks me up every time. Especially because Ben is kind of a health nut jock, I can see him and Eme not getting along at all.

Haha, I bet! I try to use the “rivalry” prompts sparingly, because as funny as I find it, part of me still feels very mean-spirited for it. I always wonder if the other person whose sim I’m arguing with is getting their feelings hurt :O

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “I’ve been down with a sinus infection for a few days, so I’ve been...”

Hahaha you went for the frenemies one.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photo “Yes, it’s SO nice to see you (:”

Lmao

They were SO close to being done, too! Maybe Shany can pick up the slack with Matteo. He seems the type to run around aggravating folks whenever possible :P

getmygameon replied to your photo “And here, we have a lovely specimen of the JacobTechrAugust.”

Lol ^^

mysimsloveaffair replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

My character just dropped by! Thanks for explaining the whole marriage to another player thing. I've just been making an extra person within my household for my sims to marry, because I wasn't sure how it all worked.

Just another thing that’s integral to the game’s mechanics that no one could be bothered to explain in advance -__-;;; It’s certainly not a thing you want to learn the hard way (like I did!).

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Everett is a cutie! He was at my sims' party talking up with people and Shany befriended him.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Yup, they’re still at it. After a solid two hours of insults, cursing,...”

Bahahaha. Meanwhile she started a BFF thing with Everett. It's going great! They wanted to make plans to hangs out or go to the movies or something like that.

D’awww, sounds just about right. Everett is terribly lovable. 

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Sadly, Mayra got accidentally retired this morning =(. I am still heartbroken. But I did read somewhere about another player who married and moved in a friend's retired elder, which made them young again. So if Everett wants to give that a try with Mayra, you have my consent. Mayra has 3 star Good trait, and her hair is a level 34 unlock. Her dress is also a story unlock item, and she's still wearing her Izzy bracelet.

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “While papa Éme and daddy Adam were preoccupied with hosting their...”

Also, just this morning, she bought a new eyeshadow and some shoes, so, lots of goodies with her if you can move her in.

I almost did :( Everett’s still sitting at a level 6 relationship with her, and if Kaydence hadn’t happened along, I would have taken the chance for sure. But it was just too heartbreaking to think that they might get all the way to a level 8 relationship and not be allowed to move forward, since the game is not actually coded to allow adults to continue their romantic relationships with elders. (I have heard that sims can divorce and re-marry at will though, so I may pursue that course momentarily if they reach level 8 and I see the “proposal” options.)

blythelyre replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

How do I visit?!

getmygameon replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

Lol!!!

getmygameon replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

@blythelyre look for parties. I didnt realize it was her sims til I saw the name lolol!

Just a heads-up, the next time I can throw a party will be this coming Tuesday/Wednesday if you wanna pop by. Save the date! :D

goatkibble replied to your photo “The infamous speedo shorts return! Looking sharp, Adam.”

Ha! I just realised their son has Eme's face and Adam's eye shape! That is also canon! :D

Haha! Meant to be, even across mediums! :D

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “Differences in parenting styles: Adam: “You are bestest baby, you...”

Omg yes! The money is ridiculous! The most you can earn is 450 (+whatever you get from an add) but the furnitures can cost 6k! My new kitchen must've costed 9k between all the expensive counters...and I've unlocked more expensive stuff since.

I didn’t realize immediately that items cost more as you buy more of them (what a charming idea, EA -____- ) so my plans for redecorating the kitchen went to hell within 20 minutes of starting. I remembered thinking, “Didn’t I have more money than this?” as I bought the countertops and finally realizing that the Sage Counters had increased from 300 to 690. It was a very ugly surprise. They still don’t have any cabinets.  Once Adam and Éme die off (;__;) the kids will be free to work constantly and earn dough, so that they can buy those §2500 dresses and garbage hairstyles. At least those won’t break. -__-;;’

reverieinsimlish replied to your photoset “Everett, your father and I have been to the hospital to find out why...”

I have the opposite problem, in that I have had 4 girls and only 1 boy.

Alas! I’d still trade with you, though. The family is up to boy number 4, and from what I’ve read in the accounts from others, they’re likely to keep on having boys until they hit 7 or 8!

blythelyre replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

Noooo

blythelyre replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

Emma and Gracie need mates!!!!

Make sure you come to the party, then! At the rate I’m going, Brooks Gaillard should be all grown up by then and one of your ladies can take him home! :D

curmudgeonness replied to your photo “NO SIR NEVER YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED *starts kicking and screaming...”

I don't know how people can get attached to their pixel people - says the one who has 36+ variations of simself in one neighborhood and won't let any of his legacy sims die... *hugs*

Put it like this ... you’ll never see a version of Rosalind Frio in this game ;)

wannabecatwriter replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

That almost happened to me a bunch of times. I swear the developers did this on purpose.

justanothersimsblog replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

I HAATE the retirement prompt

caterpillarsims replied to your photoset “*sighs* Well, I managed to screw myself royally today. I finally...”

I feel your pain. that retirement pop up is the worst.

I was able to avoid it for quite some time, because I was aware that it was coming for Éme. But I wasn’t expecting it for Adam, so I just reached for a button in the middle of an event and bloop! All progress lost. And yes, I also suspect it’s done that way intentionally. There’s no other explanation for why traits/retirement seem to be two of maybe four actions total in the entire game that there’s no way to cancel once initiated. *scowls*