#but no one is talking about stuff that she'd lie about yet so I need to branch out more

[phanerozoicfossilgardener]

Part of me: I love playing this character! She's so sweet and nice, and I don't even have to worry about backstory!

The other part of me: YOU NEED TO BE LYING MORE

[threepandas]

Bad End: Traps

"Darling~!" A rich voice greeted me, as I stepped through the final doors leading to an opulent office. "You're looking better! Are you finally adjusting to the anti-poisons? I know they made you feel quite sick."

THAT was an understatement. Try worst cramps and fever of my life, with a dose of puking for days. They put me on IVs. Buuuut? I wasn't gonna say THAT. Not a chance in hell. We, team Earth that is, were supposed to be here for DIPLOMACY. So? Fucking LIE~☆

Yep! "Bit" sick. Just a touch. Hardly noticed, really. Took a nap.

Veneni laughed, rising from the elegant sprawl she'd been resting on one of her "not called couches but totally are" things. To be honest, her voice reminds me of those old "radio stars" from the clips at the museums. All smooth yet husky, curling around you, like they're going to invite you somewhere dark to learn a naughty little secret if you're very VERY good.

Kind of voice you could listen too for HOURS, reading the most boring shit imaginable, and it be the best time you'd had in years.

I am... SO gay, for Veneni.

Like? You DO NOT UNDERSTAND. She SASHAYS. Not walks. Not strolls. Sashays! Like life is a catwalk and she is the alpha bitch here to show these other models how it's DONE. But also? Like she doesn't even NOTICE! It's just... effortless. How she moves. All delicate hand motions and rolling hips and curves.

That I Can Not Touch because she is SUUUUPER poisonous.

Which is? Frankly? Homophobic and a crime against me, specifically. Yeah, her whole species is like that. And it's why all of us are suffering through the Anti-poison adjusters. But STILL! I can't even "accidentally" brush her hand? No potential kissing of hot hot hot alien gf? Illegal. Blocked. Everyone here is a bastard and I want to complain.

.....not, mind you, that I have the metaphorical lady balls to actually CONFESS anything.

But you know... maybe.... maybe if I pine hard enough?

Good ol' stand awkwardly nearby and mentally project "NOTICE ME SEMPAI!" At her? I put on my nice outfit! Makes the girls look-! Wait, does her species even give a shit about boobs? FUCK. Okay, see this? THIS is why I was a flight assist. Just inventory and handing stuff to people who knew what they were doing.

MASTER of the fine arts of "I Can Understand The Instruction Manuel, In Case Of Emergency"!

Pretty good at coffee, too. Not to brag.

But, like? Jokes aside? Things had been... Bad.

Everything had gone to shit. Then somehow found a shovel in the manure pile and started digging. Started OUT okay! Really, it had! Travel was unexpectedly a bit rough. Some sort of space storm that went RIGHT over my head, but we dodged every major catastrophe. Got here in one piece.

There was a fancy meeting party. Whiiiich? In hindsight? Terrible idea. WAY too many people with hella poisonous skin, standing WAY too close. Only reason we didn't IMMEDIATELY lose the head diplomate? Was the regulation "new planet, unknown pathogens" full body biosuit. He? Got a HUG. Like... right out the ship.

Oof. That would have been IT, for him. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past that much longer. Someone's pet bit him. And? Yep. Completely fucking venomous. Lethally so. A tragedy, right? Outlier, surely?

Ha!

No. No this planet was trying to fucking kill us. It was a toxin coated hellpit and had so far? Murdered just over half the diplomatic crew. Those that were still alive? Over half of THEM were in emergency care. With just over a forth of the OTHER survivors being the only ones who could safely care for them.

Rest of us were either in isolation or sick as FUCK.

Isolation for those who needed to get rescued, because the Anti-poison adjusters would fucking kill them. Or sick as hell, for those few who remain that finally, FINALLY had found a way to Not DIE.

ALL WHILE PEACE TALKS WERE TRYING TO HAPPEN.

It was a shit show~☆

I? Went from basically a nobody? To "congrats! By merit of NOT being dead or dying, you're the head diplomat by proxy!" Which? Fucking WHAT? You could physically SEE the stress radiating off the poor guys back home, as they tried to speed run me through "how to not Accidentally A War 101".

I was pretty sure his cup, did in fact, NOT contain coffee. But I wasn't telling.

Instead, I got the honor of carrying the video call. Literally. Since our tech was incompatible. I got to carry the whole set up. Portable battery included. So the ACTUAL Really, Actually, Trained In Diplomacy, Diplomat could call in. And then I could look pretty and nod seriously at the appropriate times.

Mmmmhmmm. Yes. I agree. I both understand what is being said, AND support Earth's position on these matters! I have definitely studied the materials. Am supposed to be here. We have DEFINITELY suffered no catastrophic loses, pay no attention to the chaos behind the curtains! Diploooomacyyyyy....

God, she is pretty.

Watching her smile, her sensors gently shift around her like flowing water, the way her hand delicately gestured as she spoke? I... I wanted to build her, like, a cabin or something. Bring her breakfast in bed. Maybe adopt an alien dog together. And like? I don't even KNOW how to build shit. But, fuck it. I'd learn.

Cause I mean... you KNOW you got it bad, when you look at Toxic Super Hell the planet, look at pretty lady, look BACK at the planet that in no uncertain terms ACTIVELY thirsts for your blood... and go?

"So when do I move? Feeling REAL patriotic for my new home! Wooo, New Home!"

Yes I have a problem. Shut up, I'm aware.

A quite click signaled the end of their talks. Finally done for the day. I definitely, in now way shape or form, perk up like an excited puppy hearing the word "walkies". Because that? THAT would suggest I had WAY more dignity. I am a thirsty, thirsty bitch, okay? SO PRETTY. Nice laugh! Calls me Darling!! I have a LIST!!!

"Mmmm, what an unpleasant man that was. Did something happen to Mr. Ho?" She asked, stretching in the slow rolling way of hers. It looked boneless and decadent. REALLY distracting. "I hope nothing Serious~. We were nearly on the cusp of getting you home! I do hope he gets well soon. But, ah~, where ARE my manner today, Darling? You must be starving!"

Veneni sweeps forward to tuck my arm in hers, pulling me against her side. Even through my biosuit and her modest dress... I... I can FEEL her body heat. How soft and warm she feels pressed close against me. She smells tingly and spiced, kinda like citrus and mulled cider. NOT! That I'm smelling her! WHICH I'M NOT!! Because that would be so, SO creepy! It's just-!? You know-?! AaaaaaAAA???

She guides me to our little table. Probably set up for guests in general. But... you know... kinda like to THINK of it? As ours?

I REALLY need to stop while I am ahead. Good fucking gods. Ignore me.

Mmm, yes, distraction cake! Let's talk about THAT instead! Wonder what she-? I then choked on my drink. Because... because after bringing out the usual traditional deserts of she was teaching me about? And dishes I could try? Veneni... c.. casually as you please rests her chin, propped up on one hand, then reaches out with the other... to place it on my hand, which rests on the table between us.

Hear that? That's my soul screaming at a pitch only dolphins can make.

OH MY GOD.

I'd like to say? I don't immediately embarrass myself? But that's a lie. I make a wheeze reminiscent of something dying horribly. Against all odds. She is NOT immediately disgusted and done with me. Dear lord, my parents may actually have a chance at seeing me married! Holy FUCK.

Wait. No. Slow your roll.

SMILE first. We GOT this! Seduce her!

I open my mouth... and stupid fell out. FUCK.

"Calm yourself, Darling!" She laughs, the bemused fondness lighting up her face. "You hardly need to impress ME! Believe me. I knew you were mine the second I saw you. Nothing could possibly change that~"

Her cute fangs catch the light, deadly sharp. Her's is a predatory species. I wonder if they like social touch? Cause I REALLY want to cuddle. Hold hands. Touch. Ooooother stuff~ But! Mostly the Hold Cute Alien GF! Assuming that's where this is headed. Please GOD let that be where this is headed!

"I was thinking... and I don't want to be too forward, of course," oh god please do "and I hope I'm not interpreting things incorrectly!" You are not. Take me you magnificent, purple, high femme queen amongst the masses. "But... I would VERY much like to... get to know you, Darling. On a more... personal level...?"

I kept my lips pressed desperately together to keep from literally shouting the word "Yes" in her face. Be cool. BE COOL! We are both cool and Very Normal About This! Scream in incoherent joy later!

Y..Yeah! Sounds great!

This is the best day of my-!

An explosion shook the biodome. While the whole planet WAS toxic as fuck? There were levels to it's toxicity. Some places too much for even native life forms to handle. And, of course, no place that non-natives could safely survive. Thus the capital's biodome. Highly filtered air, earth, and resources. Built for diplomacy and several critical care hospitals.

Now under attack. Another bomb exploded. Cracks in the dome.

I could only stare in mute horror at the pillar of smoke. Because... Because that was the isolation area. Our evac's. Someone just blew up... Then my brain seemed to comeback online all at once, as adrenaline flooded my system. I looked between the still unpacked call system and Veneni.

A piece of tech or a high ranking, probably high interest target. My maybe hopefully girlfriend. Not really much of a choice.

Fucking LEAVE IT.

We had to go. I pulled Veneni up, told her as much. She looked so startled.

"Of... Of course, Darling. Yes. You're right. I AM probably a target, aren't I?" The thought didn't seem to have occurred to her. God, I felt like a monster having to bring such ugliness to her attention. Scaring her like this. But ignorance wouldn't keep either of us safe.

"I...I think there was a safe room?" She faltered, arms crossing almost artfully, looking so uncertain I couldn't help but want to comfort her. "But, Darling, I'll admit.. I'm.. I think I'm rather scared. Will you protect me? Stay with me? ...please?"

I couldn't help it. She looked so scared. So delicately small. I stepped forward, arms going around her. Pulling her close like I could shield her from the world. I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I promised myself. Felt her arms, a few of her sensors, desperately curl around me.

I didn't see the smile, pressed against my front. That quickly vanished as she pulled back. Nor did I notice the calm technician, hidden in the shadows of a side hall, who nodded at Veneni as I herded her to "safety". Would think nothing of how, tragically, my rooms were hit in the follow up blasts. How very lucky, that Veneni has rooms to spare. But oh~ she would not want to over step!

I don't notice a lot of things. But hey, things are great! I got a girlfriend! Or, as she likes to joke,

She Got Me.

[lollytea]

how do think willow and hunter first talked about them being bi/pan? or do you think it's just so accepted on the boiling isles that they probably would never bring it up?

(This ask is from back when we got the bi/pan confirmation and I've been saving it, kinda thinking of putting effort into writing something cute and good quality. However I ended up waking up from a nap while the Q&A was happening and somebody told my confused disoriented ass that Zeno was talking about Hunter exploring his identity and going on dates while in the human realm. And I tapped out something very messy and stream of consciousness-y in my notes app in my sleepy state. So you're getting this instead. I don't feel like cleaning it up.)

Like like like it's. Luz putting together her little coming out slideshow for Camila. And the topic of sexualities comes up. And Amity and Willow puzzle out what theirs are nearly immediately. Gus doesn't but he's unfazed by it. While Hunter is like....I...can't say for certain and its bothering me. Like this is a THING that has a chance of helping him feel like more of a person. He wants his very own flag. He just doesn't know what it is yet. He'd like to know.

He likes Willow. He knows he likes Willow. But...there isn't a flag for liking Willow. (As far as he knows. He's thinking of making one. But for now he's stumped.)

There's a very specific route the kids take to the grocery store to collect stuff for Camila. Hunter likes to take the task because he likes feeling useful. Willow also likes to help but she'd be lying if she said another reason wasn't long walks with Hunter. Usually one of the other kids tags along too. Or more than one. But today it's just Hunter and Willow.

They always pass that damn statue but Hunter always averts his eyes and hopes Willow does too. He doesn't like to look at it. But maybe if he turned his gaze towards it every once in a while he'd notice the boy who always sits beneath the statue with a little handheld game console. The boy who always lifts his head when Hunter strolls by.

This is the day when the boy chooses to be brave. There's no gaggle of friends around him today. Just one girl. This is it. This is his chance. The boy marches up to Hunter and Willow in a way that Hunter immediately clocks as similar to his own Golden Guard body language. When he was trying to feel big but failing miserably.

The boy IS big tho. That's the weird thing. Tall with broad shoulders and chunky arms. A cluster of metal pierced into his left ear and a silver stud in his nose. He looks....so cool. So very very cool. Hunter misses the first words out of this dude's mouth cuz he was too busy looking at him and he needs to repeat himself.

So. Hm. Okay. Well. APPARENTLY. Piercings boy thinks Hunter is cute. Which is a staggering revelation that leaves Hunter a little speechless. And if that weren't surprising enough, he's now pushing a little piece of paper in Hunter's direction, babbling something about talking some time. Or maybe going out, whatever.

While all this is going down Willow just.....watches. Smiling. Nudging Hunter when it's his turn to speak and he's forgotten. It's cute. He gets like that with her sometimes too. It made her feel very cool and pretty that she made such a handsome boy nervous. But now....she's watching this little interaction play out and she's realizing....

Hunter's obvious little crush on her. Just how easy would it go away if he met somebody cooler. Somebody prettier. Somebody who's not clearly living a lie and hiding everything from everyone all the time. Somebody brave enough to actually ask him out.

It seems like just as she's getting comfortable in these kinds of situations, an Amity always sweeps in. And that's fine. She's used to it by now.

And also...she....she really cares about Hunter. He's been getting so much happier and experimental in the Human Realm. She wants him to try new things. She wants him to figure out who he really is. And....maybe that version of himself won't always have a little crush on Willow Park. Maybe he'll realize that there's better people out there. And that's okay. Whatever it takes for him to smile.

There's something very ugly writhing in her stomach and Willow pretends it's not there. Instead she yanks up her smile wider and as the mystery boy strides away, she pounces on Hunter. She teases him a little, she asks why he got so very shy. Is it because he liiiiiiiikes Mr Mystery Boy huh? And Hunter doesn't know what to say. He doesn't KNOW Mr Mystery Boy. Willow counters that's what the number is for. That's what dates are for. After a long back-and-forth discussion, its Willow that urges him to dial that number. They have to borrow Camila's phone. And Willow stands there as moral support as Hunter stumbles through the question.

Hunter has a date this Saturday. Which is very exciting. And also weird. And scary. He blushes whenever you bring it up. But Willow happily hypes him up for it every day leading up to it.

On Saturday, Hunter leaves the house at mid day and Willow sees him off, waving enthusiastically. He smiles softly and waves back at her, still twitchy with nerves. She gives a finger guns and assures him it's gonna go fine. He's a catch! This makes him giggle and she swells with pride.

The door clicks shut. Hunter is gone. It feels like a light has been sucked out of the household. Willow's smile slips.

She could head upstairs and hang out with the other girls. She could go down to the basement with Gus. But....right now she'd prefer to be alone.

Willow cleans the kitchen, which Camila is very grateful for once she gets home from work. And then she settles in the living room, snuggles up on the couch and throws something on the TV. Willow sits there and watches for hours. She barely processes any of it. And yet, she's simultaneously so wrapped up in the television that she doesn't hear the door click.

"Eyyyyy, I'm back," Hunter says in that awkward way he always announces his return. And just like that, a light switches and Willow is all zazzed again.

"Ooooooh Casanova has returned!!" She chirps. "A little.....earlier than I expected....?"

Hunter looks a little sheepish but doesn't comment on that. Willow thumps the couch cushion opposite her. "Cmere boy. Tell me everything."

Hunter sits down beside her and after turning to look at her huge grin, he smiles warmly.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"You gonna tell me how it went?"

"Fine. Um. Normal. For a date. I think? I dunno I've never been on one but I'm pretty sure I did an okay job."

Willow decides to rip the bandaid off immediately. "Any lip action?"

Hunter's reaction was a funny choking noise and a volatile flush across his neck "No!" He blurted. "Just...."

"Juuuuust?"

"Just hands! He held my hand! He held my hand and it was nice! I liked it!"

"Oh."

It's nice that Hunter got his hand held. He has such pretty hands. She's always thought they were very holdable. She's really happy. She's delighted. Just great.

She's a good person who is happy when good things happen to her friends, Titandamn it. And not a secretly ugly resentful person who wishes for selfish things.

"Yeah and. Uh..." He's scrubbing the back of his neck. "We...um. Ended up talking. A lot."

"About date number two, no doubt...." Willow sings.

"There's not going to be a date number two," Hunter answers immediately, knocking Willow out of her depth.

.....huh?

"I....thought you liked him?" She asks.

"I mean. Yeah. He's. He's nice but...but when I said we talked a lot...I might have told him that...." Hunter trails away.

"Told him what?"

There's a pause before Hunter speaks again, his voice a little higher pitched. "Oh! J-just. Just told him about a ton of stuff. Told him I like birds. And I like to read. And...and about Camila being a vet and....and I talked a lot about my friends. Gus. A-and Luz and Amity. And Vee. And uh. And you. And....we...we both decided that this probably wasn't gonna work out."

"Oh...." Willow....doesn't know how to feel about this. She doesn't have to pretend to be disappointed because she really is. Her friend had a chance to have a sweet little romance with somebody cute. And it just didn't work out. "I'm sorry, Hunter,"

But Hunter shakes his head. "I'm not disappointed. I actually....um. I liked it. I've never been on a date before and it....I dunno, it made me feel like a real teenager. Which is dumb to say because I know I AM a real teenager but..."

He perks up. "Oh! Oh and-and um...." His words tumble one over the other though there's a grin tugging at the corner of his lip. "Josh and I we....we figured it out. Me. We...we figured out me. I'm..."

He catches himself and clears his throat, extending a hand to her. "Hi, Willow! My name is bisexual!...Wait! Wait, no! Hunter! My name is....I'm bisexual and I'm Hunter! I...Agh!! Josh said I should come out to you in a smooth way but...."

Willow is grinning ear to ear, always transfixed by his frequent fumbles over the complicated act of putting words together. "You're bisexual!" She declares happily. "Hunter that's fantastic!"

Hunter's smile is soft but there's a hint of pride there too. "Yeah...thanks. I know it is...."

A pause.

"I have completely forgotten what bisexual means tho," Admits Willow.

"O-oh! Oh it's just um. I-I like multiple genders. Today I found out for certain that boys are....wow...."

Willow smirks. "Boys are wow?"

"Well.....arent they?"

She thinks about it for a moment, raking her eyes across the splotchy blush still clinging to his pretty face. Her insides are in a riot of fluttering flower petals.

"I guess they are," She agrees fondly.

"But also I...." He cuts himself off with a sudden bout of breathlessness. He inhales sharply. "Girls..."

"Girls," Repeats Willow expectantly.

Hunter, who has cut his gaze down to his tangling fingers, looks back up at her, manages to hold eye contact for a few very telling extra seconds and says, very clearly. "Girls."

"I see..." Willow is a little frustrated to find that she's also a little short of breath. "So maybe your next date will be with a girl then,"

Hunter's blush flares. "I'd like it to be..." He mumbles. "But..."

"Buuuuuut?"

There's some sort of internal battle raging on. She can see it in the violent twist and turns of his facial expressions. Finally, his throat bobs. "Nothing." He answers.

"Sorry...." He continues. "For coming home early. I just really wanted to...." Why does he keep trailing off? "It looks like you were trying to have some time to yourself. I can leave if...."

"You stay right here, Mr heartbreaker," Says Willow. "Stay here and watch weird human crystal ball shows with me."

A stiffness she didn't notice until now melts out of his shoulders. "Okay. I'd like that. A lot."

Hunter attempts to shuffle into a comfortable position, but what he's not prepared for is his friend Willow suddenly lunging and knocking him against the cushions in a tight tackle hug.

"Congratulations on your name being Bisexual," She mutters against the fabric of his shirt. "I like being the first one told,"

"N-no problem...." His voice cracks a little.

It takes maybe three minutes of comfortable silence and human realm TV babbling for Hunter to pipe up "And I'm not a heartbreaker. I didn't break anyone's heart."

"You could," Willow answers smoothly, not taking her eyes off the TV. "You have way more power over some people's hearts than you realize."

[seramilla]

Another idea for homophobic heaven au where the elders have Sera try to get Carmilla to reveal who her lover is. Sera who both out of fear and not wanting to go against whatever Carmilla said hasn’t reveled it to them. The elders are outside the cell listening to them as Sera goes into to talk to Carmilla who has suffered. Sera who is willing to get in trouble if it means helping Carmilla tells her to tell the truth about your love and she would want you to be safe to keep the elders from figuring out it’s her and Carmilla telling Sera that they would punish her and I love her too much to do that. It ends with no progress and Sera in tears the elders think because she’ll lose her friend

"I would like to see the prisoner."

If the guards standing watch over Carmilla's cell question Sera's presence at the Elder's jail, they don't voice as much. Looking at one another briefly, the guards move their weapons out of the way and stand aside. Sera enters standing tall and at attention, betraying none of the anxiety and panic that's coursing through her body at that moment.

Carmilla's cell is easy to find. She's the only one being held prisoner. Very few in Heaven test the limits of what would make them end up in this place. Where she's being imprisoned is right next to the entrance, her cell encased with bars infused with angelic steel. Even touching the bars would be quite painful for an angel. Based on the burn markings across the metal, Sera can tell Carmilla has already tried to do so, in multiple places across the expanse of her prison, and failed.

Carmilla paces around her enclosure, as if she hasn't been practically beaten bloody to the point of collapse. It's just like Carmilla to not show weakness. Even to her own detriment, when all else is hopeless. It's one of the things Sera loves most about her.

"You came," Carmilla says. It's curt, and to the point. Sera's not certain she'd have the energy to say much else.

Sera wants to go right up next to the bars, hug Carmilla desperately through them, and stroke her face, and tell her everything will be all right. Unfortunately, the guards are right outside. They would notice the two angels embracing immediately through the little window at the entrance.

Also, she doesn't want to be burned like Carmilla. Walking out with scorch marks would give her away just as much as a hug would.

"Of course I did," Sera says, with as much composure as she can. "How could I not? Carmilla...what have they done to you?"

Carmilla laughs, but it's pained. "I tolerated the 'torture' they put me through. I thought the Elders were made of stronger stuff than this. They must think I'm weak. They went easy on me."

Sera walks up to the bars. As close as she can, without touching.

"Carmilla. You need to...tell them the truth. There's a chance they might let you go. You could get a reduced sentence."

Carmilla smiles, and huffs. Doing her best not to betray herself or Sera to the guards who are almost certainly listening outside.

"And what? Have my...my lover suffer the same fate? I don't think so. Not happening."

"I can help you!" Sera says, getting much too close to the bars than she should be. The steel reacts to her angelic presence, vibrating at the force of her angelic abilities, but not harming her. Yet. "I can advocate for you better out there, than in here!"

Carmilla stands. She also moves toward the bars, until they're practically within touching distance, the gentle hum of the bars vibrating in response to two angelic beings standing so close. Carmilla flinches slightly. It's muscle memory, at this point.

"No," Carmilla says, without further preamble. Then, looking at Sera with all the words she cannot voice aloud, telling her how she really feels with her eyes only, and that the love she has for her is not worth sacrificing Sera for a lesser sentence, Carmilla backs away slowly, and goes to lie down on the pathetic excuse for a cot they've provided for her.

"Carmilla!" Sera says, standing much too close. The cloth of her sleeves singes a little bit, and she pulls her arms away quickly, before her hands burn. "Please! Let me help you! I--"

"Out of the question," Carmilla retorts, lying down now, turned away from Sera, so the Seraphim can no longer see her face. "Goodbye, Sera."

Sera waits until she's outside of earshot of the prison before she breaks down. She falls to her knees, tears falling from both eyes like twin waterfalls. She wails. Loudly, longingly, for the woman she loves. Knowing that their fate is never to see one another again. Carmilla will fall. She is as good as dead, at this point. She doesn't know how she'll ever find happiness again.

[sashascripta]

the mystery woman, part ii (Luke Danes x female!reader)

Hi everyone, I'm so sorry for the lack of update for over a year! Truth be told, I was never planning to follow up on this story. It was just a little project to have fun with, but I saw how many people enjoyed it and wanted to get back into writing, so I hope you enjoy this as well. Since I wasn't certain on the reader's character yet, this still takes place before their date. (Scroll down for Part I)

Luke ran his hand through hair nervously a few times. "Hey, uh, Jess." He glanced over at his sullen nephew, poring over novels that probably weren't for school.

"What," Jess responded in a statement, not a question, as all the Danes men did.

Luke sighed, bracing himself for the favor he was about to entreat. "When you use hair mousse, how much do you actually apply?" He held the jar between three fingers tentatively.

Jess looked up, finally intrigued.

"I mean, I know you use it like water, or shampoo, judging by how often I have to buy shampoo. I tell you, Jess, if you cover your hair in this oily stuff, of course you need lots to wash it off-" Luke started rambling again. He was nervous about his date later that night and found solace in taking it out on his surly nephew.

"Shut up, will you?" Jess stalked towards him, grinning. "Why are you trying to look like you don't fry potatoes for a living?"

Luke smoothened the collar of his leather jacket and turned to Jess. "Hey!" he pointed. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with what I do. I'm just trying to fix myself up tonight. I have a-" he sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that very hour. "I have a date."

"Mrs Slutsky?" Jess prodded.

"(Y/N)!" Luke glared at him. "You don't know her, lucky for her. Not so lucky for you, she seems like an incredibly lady." He cringed, whilst Jess raised his eyebrows, holding back the urge to wiggle them.

"So I assume you've talked to her? Is she a friend of Lorelai?"

"We had a–a brief conversation back in the diner. She's a hotel consultant, here for the inn. But not a friend of Lorelai.

"I don't know. You know I don't do this often, Jess, because I find the whole courting process nauseating. But, I figured, if everything goes to hell, at least she doesn't live here," Luke conceded. He was happy to talk to someone other than Caesar and Patty, who were all too eager to engage in Luke's love life and gossip about what could be. Probably for their morning gossip column, Luke thought with disdain.

"Ah, how romantic. Just the way every great romantic novel starts: if it all goes to hell..."

"Shut up." Luke directed another pointed look to his nephew. "I didn't think you'd have much interest in romantic novels, other than the ones you write in and gift Rory."

Eager to move past the conversation of his love life, Jess quickly screwed open the jar of the conversation starter. "So about the mousse, just scoop up a dollop and run it through your hair. I'm not going to do it for you, because this isn't some stupid–"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Luke said, quickly following the directions.

Ten minutes later, Luke was ready. He brushed his hair multiple times until Jess made a snarky remark, guided him out the door and promised to lock up after. Although grateful for his nephew's uncharacteristic benevolence, Luke was glad he asked Caesar to check in an hour later.

Luke got in his truck and drove over to the restaurant you agreed to meet at. He enjoyed the hum of the vehicle over the busy highway he either detested or tuned out, focused on the drive instead.

He looked back to his conversation with you. Despite it only occurring a few hours before (well, about 7), he still cringed at nearly everything he said. Did he say he was full of surprises? Not only was that a god awful way of flirting, it was also a lie.

He thought back to what Jess said, watching Luke comb his hair. "So when you were waxing poetic about your future, you said it's okay if it goes to hell because she'd eventually leave. But what if it doesn't go to hell?" Luke cracked a joke about Jess's sudden optimism, enjoying he and his nephew's relatively pleasant moments, engaged in banter, and even confiding in and advising each other.

What if it doesn't go to hell? Luke's head spun. After Anna and Rachel, he assumed heartbreak was around every corner. It was why he avoided new relationships, why he didn't take those chances, why he got back with Rachel so many times. He always wanted to follow every strand of wool to the rest of the ball to see if it was worth it, he couldn't leave a possibility he invested time and effort in, unfinished. That's why he finally approached Lorelai and realized she wasn't the one. But what if you were the one? What then?

His mind raced for a second, before his coping mechanism of overwhelming practicality kicked in. He didn't need to think that much. hell, you barely knew each other.

Luke pulled up before the restaurant, its lights glaring harshly against the dark night sky. He silently cursed the consumerism and skyscrapers in the big city, before he got out of his truck. Change is good, change is necessary. Change leads you to dining with pretty women at 6 o'clock in the evening.

He wasn't sure whether to enter and linger in the waiting area, because he wasn't yet invited in, or to wait outside. The first was awkward. He'd hang around, because his party hadn't arrived yet and people would conjecture that his date didn't show. But waiting outside seemed desperate in his own way, like he was watching you pull in, ready to pounce.

He wished he had a dial by the side of his head, to turn his thoughts off, or at least, to slow them down. He knew nothing about you would make his life easier, because, right now, you overwhelmed him with how cool you seemed. You weren't Lorelai Gilmore or Rachel (what was her last name again?) cool. You turned heads simply by walking in the room and had a quiet, effortless charm about you that just drew him to you. He wished you hadn't such an effect on him, because he was too far in. And because it would hurt so much if you truly did stand him up.

[cerastes]

Since you like talking about relationships, I've got one I've been rotating in my head but can't really figure out: Kal'tsit and Muelsyse. They're both extremely long lived and, judging from Mumu's song, it's a major source of pain for her. But their personalities, at least on the face, are so totally different. I imagine they'd take quite a while to figure each other's shit out, since neither seems inclined to speak clearly or trust anyone more than necessary, leading to a dynamic that evolves quite a bit, and for a long time, perhaps to the confusion of less observant peers.

With both being practically the urban fantasy equivalent of long lived archmages with aching hearts, as well as experts on their particular fields, there's quite a few parallels one could make between them and their interactions would be very fascinating indeed!

However, I think you touched upon something that I think is both important and a bit different from how you put it: A main difference between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse is, in fact, that Kal'tsit does allow herself to trust in others, while Muelsyse keeps her cards close to her chest, even among those who she supposedly trusts.

Kal'tsit isn't naive, but she does in fact allow herself to trust others... A whole lot, in fact. She believed and trusted Theresa, and still tries to carry out her goals, she trusts in Amiya, not just because Theresa chose her, but because she really believes she's got what it takes. She trusts Rhodes Island Operators so much that, even though she's a powerhouse herself, she doesn't handle everything that Rhodes Island has going on and even has some Operators she implicitly trusts enough to let them handle some seriously dangerous stuff either under her or by being her extension in other endeavors she can't be there for personally, such as Margaret Nearl and Elysium. Reluctantly, she trusts in Doctor's abilities and temperament, in part out of necessity, in part because love it or hate it, Theresa did trust Doctor quite a lot, and so she'll trust in Theresa's trust.

Muelsyse, on the other hand? Her 'trust' is hugely utilitarian. Her choice of joining up with Rhine Lab was born out of necessity, as she judged that Kirsten and company would be her very best bet to achieve her own goals, but that backstabbing environment doesn't particularly allow one to make good friends or trust anyone too easily. In fact, during Mansfield Break, Muelsyse quite literally couldn't compute why Silence would be helping Anthony (Mountain) without ulterior motives: The fact that Silence would do it first and foremost out of the goodness of her heart was unbelievable to Muelsyse, because it goes against everything she's learned, especially in Rhine Lab. In a way, one could argue this is where she started changing a little, and it brought to mind how Saria was legitimately trying to be there for Ifrit because Saria legitimately holds affection for her, which Muelsyse thought was a load of barnacles before, at least without any sort of further objective or ulterior motive. Hell, Muelsyse's character song is a perfect fit for her: Chipper and energetic, yet, the lyrics are very sad and lonely.

I think a dynamic between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse would fundamentally be very... Curt, initially. All business from Kal'tsit's end, because Muelsyse has yet to earn her trust, all plastic smiles and idle hands from Muelsyse, because unless Kal'tsit can verifiably be of use to her beyond being a bigwig at RI, she doesn't need to know her.

But Kal'tsit grows on you, you know? Doctor's not the only one with those people skills... Perhaps they are at another level altogether, given they can handle even the freakiest freaks and weirdos and wrangle friendship out of them, but to say Kal'tsit isn't formidable in the arena of trust is but a lie. She'd get in, I'm sure. Muelsyse would see someone akin to her in ways other Terrans simply could never achieve, and while they are very different in terms of demeanor... Well, so are Kal'tsit and Closure, and Kal'tsit and Warfarin, two good friends of hers. Kal'tsit can definitely deal with Muelsyse's antics, and I think Muelsyse would enjoy seeing someone so similar to her in so many ways that can also allow herself to trust others. Maybe Kal'tsit could be important in just that: Muelsyse allowing herself to trust more.

[therottenkingsreckoning]

Part 2 of Chapter 9! I told y'all I'd get this done quick. This also means that we're halfway through this beast, and I'm so glad you've been sticking with me through this journey so far. Enjoy!

~~Little Flame, Ch. 9, part 2~~

Eddie's eyes widened, and despite himself a smile crept onto his face. "Wha- really? Oh, well that great news darlin'! She'll say yes, I just know it!"

"I really hope so," Sally murmured. Then, seeming to regain her normal bombast, she waved both hands above her head in a gesture towards the imagined spectacle. "But that's all the more reason it needs to be bold! Fantastic! I'll put on the greatest play you've ever seen, with her and I as the leading stars, and that moment will be the most beautiful 3rd act of any story ever written!"

"Oh I'm sure it will!" Eddie said excitedly. It was hard not to get excited when the girl got on moments like this. "And I'll help ya as soon as I've gotten Frank's food!"

She turned to look at him, crestfallen. "Y...you can't help me now?"

Eddie shook his head. "Nope. I've got my own sweetheart waitin' back at home with a cravin' for hot dogs, and by god I'm gonna get 'em." He'd not forgotten the original plan, nor was he going to be pulled away from it.

"Oh well, I'm going there too!" she insisted. "I need to get supplies after all. You could just...help me pick them out real quick, discuss a basic plan, and then I promise I'll let you continue your journey in peace!"

"No good," he told her. "Howdy's fresh out of the stuff I need, which is why I'm here at all." He wouldn't compromise on this.

Sally looked at him with sad, pathetic eyes. "Please?"

He'd maybe compromise on this.

"Alright, fine," he sighed, admitting defeat at last. "But only 'cus it's you, and I do wanna see it go well for ya."

"Oh excellent!" She squealed delightedly, pulling him into a hug. "I knew I could trust you!"

A few moments later, and with his groceries stored in her fridge for momentary safekeeping, the pair had set off. He could've brought it all back to his own house, but the thought of returning without those crucial items was...less than appealing. Probably why I'm choosing to do this at all, he thought. Rather here than there.

Unfortunately for him though, the pinball machine of entropy had not yet lost its momentum, as not even a full minute into their walk, an all-too-familiar pink figure appeared.

"Shit, it's her!" Sally hissed. "I can't let her know what I'm doing, it'd ruin everything!"

"Well whaddya expect me t-" Eddie began.

All that met him was the rustling wind, and a suspiciously star-shaped void to his right.

"Hi Eddie!" Julie said cheerfully, skipping up to him. "Who are you talking to?"

"...no one, apparently," he grumbled.

"Oh...well, have you seen Sally anywhere? I just thought of a great new game for us to play, but I can't seem to find her."

"N-nope!" he lied quickly, glancing around for any sign of his friend. "Can't...can't say I have, all day."

Julie squinted at him suspiciously, and Eddie felt the hair on his neck stand up. He wasn't a very good liar, especially when he was already stressed out as is.

"You sure?"

"Sure am!" He pretended to think for a moment. "Let's see... I went and dropped off all the mail earlier, but uhh...she was outta the house right then." That part wasn't a lie- she'd been gone, as she often was. "Then I came home and started workin' on sorting letters, but I remembered I needed to drop by the store and get and some food for Frank-"

"Oh!" Julie exclaimed. "Is that why you're here? Well, we could go to Howdy's together, and I can say hi to Frank when we bring it all back."

"Wait!" the man blurted out, realizing his mistake too late. She looked at him confused, already turning to head in the direction of the bodega.

"H-he doesn't have the ingredients I need," Eddie continued. "Ran out of the milk and cherries for those signature hot dogs, so I gotta go ask Barbie about it."

Julie huffed and turned to him, crossing her arms. "Ok well, now I know you're lying. Frank wouldn't want a hot dog, especially those ones, he hates them! So what's the truth?"

"That is the truth!" Eddie huffed back, hands on hips. "Ain't ya heard of a craving before?"

"I can tell you're hiding something, and sending me in circles!" Then, seeming to think of something, she smiled smugly and pointed a finger at him. "I'll believe you if you spin around 5 times and point back at me."

"What does that have t-" Eddie began, but it was no use. He was trapped and he knew it, however silly these games might be. Spinning once, twice, three times around and round, his vision blurred and wobbled until his outstretched finger nearly collided with hers.

"Is that good now? Can I leave?"

"Hmm... not quite," the monster said. "What am I thinking of right now?"

"Uhh...flowers?" He said.

"Nope."

"Games."

"Nuh uh."

"Look, lemme go!" Eddie shouted, stamping his foot in anger. "I'm runnin' late, and I just know Frank already hates me right now cus I couldn't just get 'em what he wants, and I'm tired and stressed and a terrible husband and I really don't need this right now!"

Silence. Julie looked at him in shock, and he could sense that wherever Sally had hidden herself she was stunned too. "Oh.." the rainbow monster said gently. "You weren't lying about that, were you?"

"What reason would I have to lie?" He growled, wiping away the tears that had begun to form.

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry," she said, stepping out of his way. "I'll let you get back to it."

"It's fine," the man grumbled. It really wasn't, but he was too tired to keep arguing. Glancing back at her for just a moment though, he said, "Maybe you should drop by later. Help explain what took me so long. He might get less mad at you."

And now, after all the nonsense he'd been through, he'd made his way over to Poppy's barn. Those big red doors might as well have been the gates of heaven, and his angel was visible still in the window, laughing away at some unknown joke. Finally, he could get this done.

Knocking on the door, he was greeted with a cheery "come in!" from the resident bird. She looked up from where she'd been adding pumpkin seeds to a recipe, and her eyes widened at his disheveled & miserable appearance. "Oh dear... are you alright?"

"Yeah," Barbie added. "No offense, but you look like you've been put through the wringer."

"It's been...a day," Eddie sighed. "Been looking for ya cus I needed to ask a favor."

"Oh?" The dog stepped a bit closer, scratching awkwardly at the space between her tied-up ears. It was rare that Eddie Dear asked anything of his friends- the man was self-reliant to a fault, and would much rather be the one giving than getting. So whatever this was must be important.

Eddie clasped his hands in front of him, looking up at her with pleading eyes. "Please tell me you have some cherries and condensed milk I can borrow. Frank really wants a hot dog and Howdy was fresh outta both of those."

An awkward silence, then the hound burst out laughing, relieved. "Didya really come all this way just to ask for that? You could've just asked Jonesy, I left him back at home."

The realization crumpled Eddie, and he hung his head in shame. Yes, he probably could've just asked earlier and saved so much of this hassle. But, fool that he was, he'd gone and overthought. Like a fool he'd made it 10 times harder on himself.

Barbie's laughter faded as she took in his reaction. She put a hand on his shoulder and sighed, "Well I'm sorry to tell ya, but I'm out too. I had my treat for today, but I'm prepared to go hungry for a bit."

And just like that, all his dreams had been shattered. He was so close to Paradise, but it had all been a mirage. Looking desperately over to Poppy, he was met with a shake of her head. "Dear, you know I don't eat things like that." Trying her best to reassure, she added "I-I'm sure Frank will understand. I mean... it's not your fault you couldn't find any."

Mhmm," Barbie hummed in agreement. "She's right. No, hey, look at me. She's right. You got nothin' to beat yourself up for. You tried, and that's what matters."

Eddie wasn't sure he believed them, but what else could he say or do by now? He'd exhausted his options, and would simply have to bear the anger, the crushing disappointment, that his lover would have for him. As he made his way home slowly, footsteps like lead, he was briefly considering swandiving into the nearest lake when the shaking of tall grass nearby caught his ear.

"Hey."

"Hey Mosely," Eddie said dejectedly. "Can't talk right now, sorry. Boutta go get my head bitten off."

"Ah, t-that's the thing actually," the grass continued. "I uhh...overheard what you were talking about just now, and I actually have some."

"Wha- really?!" Eddie instinctively whipped around to peer into the brush, then quickly apologized and turned away from his scopophobic friend. But was it true?

"Wait here. I'll go get them."

And wait he did. If it had been anyone else, Eddie wouldn't have trusted they'd come back. Even now he had his doubts, his nervous impatience as each minute ticked by. But he knew Mosely, and as soon as he'd fully begun to worry he heard movement again. He turned to see a can and jar stacked neatly on the dirt road, still cold when he went to pick them up.

"Thank you." Eddie's voice quivered, damn near sobbing with relief. "I could hug you right now."

"Haha... please don't," said Mosely.

The trip back went quickly. He snatched his groceries from Sally's fridge, checking first that no Julies were around (what an awkward explanation that would be!). Then he was off to the little yellow house with speed.

"Where have you been?!" Frank snapped when he answered the door to their mate. "And what's with the bags? I asked to get one thing for me, not all of this!"

"This is your hot dog," Eddie tried to explain weakly, already visibly wilting as the anger he'd been fearing bore down on him.

"How? Couldn't he m... huh?"

Words trailed off as the man before them seemed to crumple, sinking down to his knees as bags fell an uneven thud-and-rustle on to the floor.

"I'm sorry," Eddie began, hands again clasped in desperate prayer. "I am so sorry Frankie, I tried to go quickly. But then Howdy ran out of milk and cherries so I tried to get some from Barb-"

"Eddie..."

"-but then she was over at Poppy's, so I tried to go there but Sally stopped me to ask about a play and Julie forced me to answer riddles 'cus she didn't believe me when I told her ya wanted hot dogs-"

"Ed- wait Julie?"

"-And when I finally got over to Poppy's she was out which broke my heart 'cus I knew ya really wanted it and-"

"EDDIE!!!"

Frank had heard enough. Grabbing hold of his husband's shoulders, they pulled him forwards...

and into a kiss.

Eddie flinched in shock, then his arms wrapped around his love as he leaned in, finally breaking to rest his head on Frank's chest.

"It's ok honey," the grey chuckled. "I understand now. And you still got me what I wanted."

"I uhh...yea!" Eddie looked up at his mate with doe eyes. "You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Oh I'm still angry," Frank said as he helped their husband up. "But not at you."

Eddie was going to ask about that, but he didn't. Far better to not risk spoiling the moment when he'd seemingly gotten so lucky. "You still want your food now?"

"Mhmm!"

"Well alrighty then!" He practically skipped to the kitchen, feeling sunshine and rainbows right now as his previous worries melted in the loving presence of his partner. "I am sorry it took so long," he called through the doorway. "For what it's worth."

Frank laughed at this as he walked in and sat at the table. "Love, I was actually overreacting a bit. It's only been 15 minutes."

[theerurishipper]

I think one of the worst things for me right now Ladynoir wise is that I just have no faith left in Marinette not blaming the outcome of the finale on Cat Noir to some degree. The last Ladynoir scene is setting off every alarm bell in my head, I just can't help it.

She's never gonna talk to him alone anymore from here onwards.

If Adrien will have any negative feelings about having lost his father then I can't help feeling like Marinette is gonna subconsciously put it on Cat. For not being there in the finale and for the cataclysm event in Destruction, even though it was her plan she gave him no heads-up on for no reason, but hey, it's Marinette...

I have no faith left in me to hope that she will at least warn Cat Noir that she HASN'T retrieved the Butterfly miraculous (damn, she'd probably blame that on his absence too, huh?) and not just leave him in the dark about it until Lila rises as new Butterfly which is the worst way Cat could find out about that.

And besides, the smartest thing Lila could do now is simply... wait. Postpone rising as new Butterfly until not only Ladybug will be forced to lie to the world about having retrieved the Butterfly (since she would NEVER say that openly unless she has to) which would make Chrysalis rising even worse because LB blatantly lied to the whole world

Lila should also simply wait because no way is Marinette gonna tell Cat about not having the Butterfly and that would mean that he's quite likely gonna dare to ask for a reveal and the longer Chrysalis waits the longer Ladybug has to lie to him with excuses for why they can't do it yet. At some point it would simply come across as her playing with his feelings by keeping his hopes up despite her having no intention on revealing, which, I mean, that's the case. (hello, Ephemeral. I wished you weren't so accurate to all this...)

The longer Lila waits the more Ladybug is lying to Cat and playing with his hopes whne their bond is probably already gonna take a massive bruise from the finale. And the longer it goes on the worse it'll be whne Chrysalis eventually rises and Cat, as per usual in the worst possible way, finds out about Ladybug's secrets regarding the butterfly and that she truly never had any intention on revealing. She just played for time for the Butterfly to rise.

I have no faith left in her giving any kind of hsit what actually happened to him in the finale. Adrien could have memory loss a la Marinette's backstory in Derision (which actually would explain him remembering his father so lovingly at the end), heaven knows the circumstances were horrific enough for that to happen, and even if Cat would mention it towards Ladybug that he can't remember it anymore

I just have no faith left that she wouldn't react the same way as in Wishmaker at best or just brush it aside at work cause she doesn't want to hear an excuse for why he failed her, when "her" ADRIEN is now paying the price for it and the rest of Paris taht she was alone and therefore couldn't retrieve the butterfly.

Or if Cat said that he is feeling incredibly guilty that an innocent man died because he wasn't there, what's realistically gonna be Ladybug's reaction? I don't wanna be pessimistic towards her but at this point being realistic means asking how much she would care for him saying that and not just brush it aside? She doesn't need to do it maliciously for it being fucked up.

I just...

Have no faith left for Ladynoir. Or superficially Marinette in Ladynoir.

What's realistically to be expected here?

Honestly? This. I don't think she'd blame him for anything, but considering her characterization across the last two seasons, I don't expect her to consider being honest with Chat Noir one of her priorities anymore, let alone telling him stuff at all.

Thank you for your ask!

[22degreehalo]

The more I think about it the more I'm just. obsessed with aroace Yuno!!!!

Like c'mon... 'The wanted wanting the wanter /isn't that just too perfect?' She's not doing this compensated dating because she needs the money or has any huge past trauma, there's something else attracting her: it's that normal relationships feel so fake and dishonest (meanwhile even if her clients get feelings for her, it's not her fault because she was upfront that this is a transactional thing) and with these types she can have full control of what goes on and when and where and why!!!

Which is Also making me think of. Complicated slightly fucked up Yuno+Kazui friendship.

And FIRST OF ALL I'm. very new to this fandom and haven't read Most of the drama CDs hahahaha so this is just my first impression BUT

so she approaches him early (i have no idea if any of this is canon im sso sorry this is just what I want. right now.) because guys like him are common clients (either bc they're divorced and lonely or want to feel young again or whatever) but he's just easygoing abt it but Firm No. ('I'm old enough to be your father.' 'Haha, yeah? Isn't that the point?') And genuinely doesn't seem interested which is kinda annoying but whatever.

So she kinda tries or or two approaches with him, like playing the more sexy role of her second MV, but still he's not giving Anything back At All, and honestly it's weird that she's even trying this hard? Normally it's the other way around??? Like it's not like he can even pay her in here so.

She stews a bit and wonders if she does genuinely have feelings for him finally which'd be both annoying and a relief, and honestly it just Fits that that'd be how these things go lmao that she finally has real legit feelings for a guy with no interest in her. (And Mahiru is probably super excited about it bc this is early when she's still perky and happy and wanting to push them together.)

Maybe at some point Kazui does admit that he feels lonely without someone physically there with him to touch and be close to. So Yuno finally gets him to lie in her lap or vice versa or whatever. But it feels sorta weird. And he gets a bit somber. And wonders aloud if this is what it would've been like to have a daughter.

And she just. Gets up and leaves.

She's had guys say stuff like that before. Sometimes cause they pitied her and wanted to 'save her', which was frustrating, and she'd cut them off immediately. Usually because it was some kinda fucked-up incest roleplay, which she enjoyed; more than most roleplays, actually. The sweet lovey-dovey rps are okay but kinda false and make her feel weirdly guilty; the more messed up ones, she can relax in. Fucked up familial relationships, fucked up romantic relationships: what's the difference?

But Kazui actually meant it. No ulterior sexual or compassionate motives.

She apologises later saying that it's because they never hashed out their red flags or what the scene would be about, but she's the professional here and she didn't make sure that happened so it's her bad. And he just seems to accept that, and says he doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. And seems to mean it.

There's some commonality between them. A willingness to hold themselves back. To not talk about things that people don't want to talk about. This dance of fake affection, until it's impossible to tell what one's true feelings are anymore.

She likes having her relationships set out in clear words, without the actual emotional honesty of having to delve into her own psyche. But now she sort of wants to share things with him, and she has no idea what to do with that. And on his side, he senses some similar circumstances between them, but he still isn't yet able to be honest about what he knows about himself deep down. But maybe if he was, he could talk to her.

There's some talk abt sex among the prisoners. These two are expected to have the most experience, but she's kinda like 'sex is okay. It feels good and it's a means to an end.' And he's weirdly mysterious about it all but claims that his perspective is closest to hers, which confuses everyone else.

And............somehow from that they end up being able to have a conversation about Not Wanting What Society Wants You To Want and the weird relationships you have with all that and the ways you do or don't get what you Actually want, an d it's all very good and meaningful but idk I haven't thought that far yet hahahaha that's as far as I got before I had to type it all up :')))

[ultimatedetectivequeen]

Future Time Ask - Has Minako inherited any of her mother's 'lewder' skills in her love life? Like using her big peach to help interrogations or a mastery of Kyoko's godly handjobs?

Lewd topics lie below!

"You can bet your ass that I have! Or, better yet, mine~ Cuz I know just how to work it to get the most naughty criminals to spill in more ways than one!~" Minako bragged proudly, and rightfully so, considering her track record.

While she technically wasn't a professional detective like her mother and brother, she regularly visits their detective agency to help out with an abundance of things. Sometimes it's something simple, like delivering coffee, running an errand, or making sure that the rookies focus on their work by bribing them with close-up views of her breasts and backside- Y'know, completely normal stuff. Other times, however, when Kyoko and Kyotaro are too busy working different cases to interrogate anyone, her skills as a descendant of the Kirigiri bloodline are needed.

The first time that she came down to the police station to take over an interrogation for her mother, the cops were quite confused to say the least. Kyoko did tell them that somebody would be coming to take her place, but they assumed that... well, that it would be a professional with some sort of credentials and not a young adult girl wearing short shorts and a lavender hoodie with the words "Coffee Queen" printed on it.

"It was so funny seeing the cops faces when I walked in! It took some convincing, but eventually they let me in the interrogation room, and I was able to show them why I'm the right gal for the job~" The brown-haired barista then went into fine detail about the many different times and ways that she used her interrogative arsenal to get the truth out of a suspect. Which ranged from expertly stroking fat cocks and fingering even fatter asses, to wrapping the suspect's cock between her pillowy tits or plump ass cheeks. Hell, sometimes she'd straight up just plant her hands on her knees and start twerking her beautiful bubble booty in front of them until they couldn't handle it and spill what they know so that she can give some sweet, sweet, pleasure in exchange.

"All of my methods are super fun to use!~ If I had to pick a favorite, It'd be kinda tough, but nothing beats using my mouth to suck on a girthy cock or tongue a juicy ass~ Though, throwing it back like a pro is really fun too!" The down-right perverted girl informed enthusiastically,

"Anyway, for some reason, the cops were all pretty friendly to me after that first interrogation. They even offered to let me practice my interrogation methods on them! Isn't that generous of them?" Minako beamed, while talking about the "kind" officers.

It's safe to say that Minako is quite the passionate interrogator!

[kingmaxstatic]

After seeing your post about the new ugly helluva design I looked it up and felt like I was reenacting "what, it's just its just an ordinary desiOH MY GOODNESS"

There is. So much to talk about when it comes to Beelzebub's design.

(Strap in cause this is a long one)

Let me start off with one thing I actually LIKE about the design. The colors are good. They're appealing and I'll admit that. But generally speaking the cons outweigh the pros. (pun intended considering she's supposed to be the princess of gluttony).

SO LET'S GET TO THOSE CONS SHALL WE?

First off let's get this addressed. Her design is a cluttered NIGHTMARE. It feels like there were a lot of things that people "liked" as little details and instead of picking and choosing they just. MASHED them together to make this character. Like while looking at her face I noticed a few things. A lot of things. From her freckles to her second eyebrows to her- you get it. There is WAY too much going on.

I genuinely cannot tell what's going on with her hair. Why does she have two different types of hair. SPEAKING OF HAIR her jelly hair is so fucking complex. There are ways this can be done WELL but this ain't it. Like for example look at Luna and Celestia from MLP.

The reason why these design work is because both the hair and character are not super complex. The hair is the HIGHLIGHT of both of the designs.

Did Vivzie really just decide "I'm going to make a character that's soooo hard to animate."?

We haven't even touched on the motifs yet good GOD.

So Beelzebub is meant to have bee motifs/be a bee (not sure on which yet). So yeah we have a Vaggie situation all over again where the character is VAUGELY using bug motifs. As in you have to grandma meme squint to see those bits. Like i'll admit the antenna ear is pretty cool. But good god everything else just looks like such a mess.

Also did I mention she's meant to be the ruler of the GLUTTONY ring?

Yeah she's meant to be Gluttony given form. But look at her. What about her design says "Food" or "Gluttony"????

Like food based outfits can be super fun to design. I have no idea what their deal was with this. The ONLY thing they did was give her the lava lamp stomach which only manages to clutter her design even MORE. If they really wanted to give her a lava lamp stomach they could've done it in a way that didn't have like. 3 colors in it, complicating the design even more.

She looks like she'd flit more with lust than she does gluttony not going to lie. Like the heart on her chest is a really DEFINED subject. If they really wanted to make her look "tempting" they could've done it and made it fit with the theming.

Simply put: when I see her I don't think "Gluttony" or "Bee" I think "Yellow wolf lady." and that doesn't make for a good design. A design needs to have reason. Like for example if you have a character that fights a lot you'd add things like scars or something. Things that show damage. It shows "Wow! This character has been in a fight or two before!". Another example: if you have a character that lives in a cold area they'll typical wear thicker clothing. You see what I mean? Typically a design is meant to show one of two things.

1. What the character is.

or 2. What they're like.

Let me use foxy as an example. (Jumpscare for people scrolling/j)

Foxy right? He's a pirate. How can you tell that? Through his eyepatch and his hook! Classic pirate stuff! You can ALSO tell he's out of order from the damage on his body. The tears in him and his visible endo legs. He's pretty busted up and you can tell why he's out of order. You can ALSO tell he's a fox! He's got the cheek fluff, he's red, he's got them sharp ears! 10/10 fox. Can comprehend he's a fox.

The problem with Bee's design is that you can't really.. get a grasp on the what she is.

We've basically covered the basics of character design so we've swam in pretty deep so I think I'll cut this post here. AS A TREAT since you've made it thus far, weary traveler, I've made my own design of Beelzebub!

[rosecreates]

The Devil Within

On a night where Nimue regains another, rather awful memory of her past during her trance, she runs off to vomit into a bush in the forest whilst plagued by a terrible headache, and unknowingly is followed by Astarion, who isn't keen to let her completely get out of explaining what's wrong.

Word Count: 2,524

Pairing(s): Vague Dark Urge/Astarion during their friends-with-benefits phase

Characters: Nimue (My Dark Urge), Astarion, Alfira mentions

Warnings: Spoilers for Act 1 Dark Urge stuff. It's for the most part introspection into my Dark Urge Nimue. Lot's o' angst with...some comfort, sorta, it's Act 1 Astarion so he sort of does his own weird way of trying to help. Dark Urge-typical violent themes. Light emetophobia warning, as whilst it's not descriptive Nimue vomits due to her urge. Not proofread.

A/N: I wrote this on a whim, first time I've written anything BG3-related actually and first time in a long time that I've written anything outside of Tumblr RP, so forgive me if Astarion's character isn't written the best or in general if the writing isn't great. But it's mostly about Nim anyway and I wrote this for fun. Title is from the song by Digital Daggers, "The Devil Within". The song is practically Nim's urge talking to her directly.

Light pink eyes look around, the little elf they belonged to finding her vision bleary as she processes what's going on. Her head is absolutely throbbing. And red. There's so much red. All over her, all over the ground at her feet- blood. It's blood. The ground is white marble, once pristine but now positively drenched in ichor. But from what, the elven girl wonders, as her sight grows clearer, and her gaze finally finds the source.

The sea of corpses that lie many feet in front of her, before a pulpit where a priest is hunched over with a knife sticking out of his back. She recoils, horror consuming her face, screaming as she falls unto the bloodstained ground. She feels ready to vomit, and gods, her head aches so badly. And yet. And yet, there is a certain satisfaction that she feels, despite the bile that feels ready to consume her. Satisfaction?

Soon, realization dawns on her at what had transpired.

It happened again.

She had done this.

The little elf was the sole one to blame for this grisly crime.

-

Nimue snaps out of her trance with start, breathing heavily as she regained her bearings, her head hurting once more as, just like in the memory, she felt ready to puke.

Another memory of the past, it seemed, and a violent one at that. One that appeared to indicate that these blasted urges she'd been suffering from ever since she awoke on the Nautiloid truly had always been with her, even before she'd been afflicted with amnesia. And the incident with Alfira...wasn't the first time she'd ever blacked out and committed murder in her life, either.

But there were still too many questions she had about the nature of this urge, and why she was saddled with memory loss. But her infuriating butler won't tell her anything. No matter how much she tried to press him when he appeared to her the night after she killed Alfira, he didn't budge. She hated indulging her urge, but she wouldn't be opposed to letting it direct her for once against that ugly creature that called itself Sceleritas Fel.

Alfira...her mind wanders back to that night. The grief she'd suffered immediately after the unintentional murder returns- as if it ever left, because it certainly didn't. Nimue had been ready to welcome Alfira as part of her camp, to become yet another member of the group of wayward strangers united by their need to find a cure for the tadpole in their heads that Nimue found herself de-facto leader of.

Nimue had internally declared herself their protector, despite the fact you could hardly call a woman constantly fighting against her urges to kill all of them in cold blood fit to protect just about anyone. But she thought she had control over those urges. A foolish thought in hindsight, but she thought that redirecting them towards her enemies and using the urges to make her at least a decent protector was working.

In the end, she was only trying to lie to herself, and had underestimated how truly catastrophic her urges were. That underestimation of them led to Alfira's death. Sweet Alfira, who wanted to just go on an adventure with people who were nice enough to help her with her still-ongoing journey to finishing a song for her deceased teacher, who'd perished to gnolls only a short time prior. Nimue finds a slight smile forming on her face as she thinks about the tragedy of it all, of having reunited the apprentice bard with her beloved mentor through a gruesome death perhaps even more awful than the demise Lihala had faced, before shaking her head rapidly.

She hates this. She hates it. None else in this camp are any the wiser to it, thinking her to be their stoic but well-meaning leader, who tries her best to protect them whilst also helping who she can at the same time, but not without asking for compensation. What would they think, if they learned how she usually only helped others because she wanted to spite her urge? How she hasn't the faintest idea of a moral compass, only going by what would make her party happy and to resist against this vile urge hers?

How deep down, she's really just a wretched coward who doesn't even know who she is beyond what fragments of memory slowly resurface, who feels only cold apathy in face of most people beyond her companions, who doesn't even truly understand her own emotions. That is, all except for the fear that drives her, the fear of losing control, and the even worse fear of being alone. That fear is pathetic, she knows, and yet it is also part of why she's managed to continue having enough willpower to remain as she has been.

No one needs to know a thing of what a monster she really is beneath the perfect ethereal facade of a mild-mannered but good-intentioned leader she puts up. But how long can she keep it up? How long until the others start to realize what frigidity lies within the heart of their beloved leader Nim?

She doesn't want to know. If she can keep this up forever, she happily would. She just needs to keep her wits about her, to fight against her urge even harder, now that she knows it can take control of her even when she trances. She has to admit, ever since Alfira's death, she's been trancing even less, and she's been plagued by horrible memories whenever she did trance.

How was she supposed to deal with the prospect that she could trance and then wake up to find herself standing over the corpse of one of her beloved companions? They, who were all that kept her connected to whatever humanity remains within her otherwise monstrous being that hid within the skin of a High Elf?

Dammit, she really is going to be sick. With haste, she gets up from her bedroll as quickly as she can, a hand over her mouth to try to hold it back. She doesn't want anyone to hear her, to see her in this sort of state. And she retches into the nearby bush once she thinks she's far enough away from camp, shaking as her head is still gnawing at her.

"My, you look positively dreadful for once."

She freezes.

Astarion.

Of course the only other fucking elf in camp, who experienced the same sort of trances that had him semi-conscious and bore the same keen senses, would end up breaking from his trance and catching her running from camp with vomit barely held back in her throat and throwing up inexplicably. Of course he would. She has to wonder how he didn't catch her when she murdered Alfira, frankly.

But in fairness to those godsforsaken urges of hers, they weren't stupid. They had gotten Alfira a little farther from her companions before maiming the poor bard. Still, she has to wonder if the vampire knew more than he was letting on.

Or maybe she was just paranoid. Yeah, she's probably just paranoid. Because she's afraid, and god her head is agonizing right now but she can't let him know. He's certainly the one person at camp who'd perhaps make the least fuss about learning her darker nature, but she still doesn't want him to know.

No one needs to know. Nor should they. It's why she never pried into her companions' pasts unless it was truly necessary. She'd say it's because they didn't pry into her past, but she'd been frank with them that she didn't remember anything at all of it. Rather, none were all that nosy, and so she wasn't nosy either, despite her admitted curiosity.

"Had a bad trance, that's all. Sorry if I broke yours."

The icy stoicism was up in full force as she tried to brush it off, even though anyone who was at least mediocre in reading people could tell there was more than she wanted to tell. The way Astarion's crimson eyes narrowed said as much. His beautiful blood-colored eyes, that she'd love to tear out of his skull slowly and carefully to admire from up close- shut up shut up shut up.

"I saw you scurry away from camp as fast as you could and vomit into that bush there, darling."

Of course he saw that.

Her gaze remains cold as it looks at Astarion, pretending to be entirely unfazed. "...And if I did?"

"Normally? I wouldn't care much, but I've noticed you've been...how should I say this, quite disheveled lately, in comparison to that almost irritatingly perfect composure you usually have. You've only ever been anywhere near this much of a mess on that lovely night you and I lost ourselves in one another's bodies. Obviously a good kind of mess, unlike this."

Ah yes, that time where Nimue had taken up the vampire's offer of a night of carnal pleasure, all in hopes of distracting herself for a while from, well, mainly her urges, but also from everything in general. And it had worked. Kind of. The pleasure barely managed to be louder than the urges. It's not that she hadn't enjoyed that night, but it barely achieved what she wanted. And she wasn't sure how 'there' Astarion had been during it. He'd looked so...far away, even though he was right there at the same time.

Still, anything was better than nothing when it came to her damn urges. And right now, she's focused on Astarion not managing to pick at her enough to get insight into her true mental state. He may be being very...casual about this for the most part, but he clearly wanted answers. She's not exactly sure why- it doesn't matter anyway, because she won't give them to him.

"Where are you going with this?" She queries, brow raising slightly.

"What have you been seeing in your trances recently that's caused you to be in this kind of state, darling?"

At least he thinks it's just her seeing bad things in her trances. Her gaze does not move from him as she proceeds to answer with cool-collectedness.

"It's nothing, really, Ast-"

His unimpressed look makes her stop, before she weaves together another sentence to try to get him to stop.

"...It's just been some memories of some difficult battles, that's all."

He narrows his eyes at her. He doesn't buy it. "You may think no one notices, but we've all seen how you delight in spilling the blood of your enemies."

"You can enjoy killing their enemies whilst being haunted by nearly losing your life, or an ally almost losing their life."

He scoffs. "Please, your blatant lack of self-preservation is painfully obvious, as much as I loathe it."

Astarion had certainly made no secret of how he dislikes Nimue going and helping others, especially when it put her or others in danger, that's for sure. Or well, Nimue usually only put herself in danger. She'd rather die than anyone else.

They fall into silence for a few moments, Astarion waiting for her to finally tell what's going on, and Nimue not wanting to say anything. Nimue breaks it first, when she realized Astarion wasn't going to budge.

And perhaps because she wanted to take the chance that she could tell him at least a little of what's going on.

So, she sighs, and in her soft, and right now quite weary voice, she finally explains a little. "...I've been slowly getting back pieces of my memory. But the memories...aren't good ones."

Most of her trances have actually been occupied by the memory of the night she killed Alfira, but he doesn't need to know that.

He tilts his head to the side, and his face shows he just wants her to continue. Begrudgingly, she does. "Tonight, the memory I got was...of a younger me, surrounded by corpses, in...a church, I think. The memory distressed me enough that I felt the overwhelming need to vomit. So I did. And I have a headache. Probably because of not getting great rest."

Astarion evidently listens closely to each word, and nods once Nimue finishes, his arms crossing as he speaks. "Well, it's good that it seems like your memories aren't lost forever." He starts, before he seems to pause to contemplate what to say or do next.

It seems he's not really sure how to proceed, actually. Nimue silently questions why he came if he didn't even know what to do when she fessed up about what's going on. "You're aware you don't need to keep this to yourself, mm? I'm sure the others would let you vent your troubles and help you gladly."

Nimue's gaze finally falls from Astarion to the bush beside her she'd puked in earlier. "...I didn't want to trouble them." It's not a lie. They all have their own problems. Although there's a lot more to this than her simply not wanting to be a burden.

Astarion rolls his eyes. "How about you stop playing the woefully selfless hero already? You've already helped them plenty. They could do to help you a bit in return."

Nimue doesn't respond, her gaze staying on the bush. A minute passes before Astarion dramatically sighs, shaking his head, prompting Nimue to look at him once again. "Tell me, do you plan to try to trance again soon, or not?"

Nimue shakes her head. "I don't think I'll be able to, if I'm going to be honest." Astarion makes a sound of annoyance, before walking closer to her.

"Well, luckily for you, I don't plan to either."

"You don't have to stay up with-"

"Shush, darling. First, let's return to camp, yes?" He motions for her to follow him, and she follows silently, them returning to camp side by side, before he leads her onto the rock formation at the camp's center. At first, she's confused what he's doing, but he soon sits down, and pats the spot beside him, signaling for her to do the same. She obeys, and he proceeds to point up at the sky, where from here they get a lovely view of the starry night sky above.

Ah. He was getting her to stargaze with him. To get her mind off the bad memory.

And, well, she can't say she's upset about it. The stars tonight are gorgeous, she has to admit. She always did love the stars, or well, she'd loved them since she spent her first night camping with everyone. And Astarion- befitting the meaning of his name- was quite fond of them as well.

This was...really nice. Her head still hurts, but it feels like it hurts a bit less right now. And her urges had decided to be quieter now, giving her a welcome slight reprieve for now.

Neither her nor Astarion uttered another word, but simply admired the stars together. Tomorrow would surely have an endless amount of horrors awaiting them as always, but that wasn't right now.

Right now?

She felt the closest thing to peace she had in a long while.

[tuulikannel]

I was thinking about my mother today, for reasons that… well, it doesn’t really matter. For those who don’t know, she died when I was 22. It wasn’t really any big surprise when it happened. We didn’t expect it quite yet, but everyone knew it was probably a matter of a few years.

Mom was, for as long as I can remember, quite sickly. It all started in her youth with rheumatoid arthritis. That led to a disease whose name I’ve totally forgotten (something in Latin). It destroyed her kidneys and possibly was also partially behind many of the other issues she had. She had breast cancer, a minor heart condition, quite severe osteoporosis, and… some other minor stuff I’m forgetting. It’s been a while.

Anyway, the point is: her body was quite a wreck. I remember one time when we took the bus to somewhere and sat on places reserved to disabled. I think she noticed how I glanced at the sign a bit hesitantly, as she said lightly, "Oh, don't worry, if you count together all my disability percentages, it goes way past hundred. There's some for you too." And that is what I truly respected in her. She never let her troubles to put her down, or stop her from living her life. I remember this photo of her sitting on the ground, tending the vegetable patch while wearing a neck brace after an operation. Some of her friends told me after her death how they admired her for never complaining. That's not quite true, of course she did complain, but it was very rare. I do remember how, a day before her death when we visited her at the hospital, she was quite irritable, complaining about feeling so bad… I got scared then, cause I knew that it had to be bad for her to show it so clearly. But as long as she lived, she never gave up. Here’s one more example. She had that neck operation when I was a child. Then, a decade later, something in her neck moved and a nerve got jammed, so to say. That caused her to have pain in her arms if she was up longer than 5 minutes. But even so, she didn't just stay in the bed. She'd dust the shelves for a few minutes, lie down when it started hurting, get up when the pain ended, dust some more and so on.

Yeah… I'm not sure why I started writing this. I guess I just wanted to talk about her. Remember her. I think I'll always miss her… but I'm so grateful that I've had a Mom like her, for as long as I did. She could have very well died when I was still a child.

As it's spring now, and everything's beginning to bloom... here's us in an apple tree at my grandparents', once upon a time.

.

.

.

And now this pic brought a poem to my mind. This post will never end. ^^; But. I just need to share this. (English translation after the original.)

Jossakin kimaltelee lapsuutesi virta omenankukat varisevat nuoruutesi vuorilla ja sinä lepäät virran tytär omenankukkien sisar maan nainen äiti ystävä nyt niin hiljainen.

Somewhere glistens the river of your childhood apple blossoms fall on the mountains of your youth and you rest daughter of the river sister of the apple blossoms woman of earth mother friend now so quiet.

Lassi Nummi (my translation)

[scumscuttlers]

A really normal person who is just an asshole.

— @coralcalypso describing my character, 2024.

Inezra as a character has been around since 7/28/2014. She doesn't have a super long history though because most of what I did have was lost to hard drive failure. So, lol. I ended up reconstructing things pre-2018, and have been trying to flesh her out by interacting with more people.

If you're curious what writing I'm referencing, her writing tag is over here.

Personality

Inez is obsessive. This isn't always a negative.

Inez is too smart for her own good and frequently thinks herself into knots (as evidenced from some of the conversations and interactions in recent / old stories). She is absolutely yanking on people's chain when she pretends to not know or understand some things. Key word: Some. Somewhat at odds with the brawns over brains presentation she has. It's easier not to think about things. Imagine how happy you would be if you stopped thinking too. (She's still not happy.)

That said, she's also allergic to being honest about herself and her feelings. She doesn't lie out of habit. It's more likely she'll omit information or deflect by making a joke. This makes it easier to slip in actual requests for information. You just never know if she's fucking with you or not.

Rarely does she reconsider whatever she thinks the "best" option is. Gleaned from Dialus' perspective in old writing and conversations with my friend @sleepytrolls.

She has a kneejerk reaction to new information, but will also keep asking for details until she's satisfied that she knows enough about it. She's then incredibly likely to turn around and make fun of your character for their perspective. This makes her not fun to talk to. She knows this. She also doesn't care (most of the time).

Has a penchant for violence that's hereditary and probably in part caused by brain damage. From all the concussions, your honor. She has poor emotional regulation normally. She also does not have a moirail or very many trolls willing to put up with her, so this is just bad soup. She's gotten better but not better fast enough.

She has standards and a conscience even if she goes to great lengths to pretend she doesn't. There are absolutely lines she won't cross and she's sensitive to people not being receptive to her bitching, but that's new. Notably, times in the watch party chats when she's switched tack mid conversation based on someone's responses. You won't catch her apologizing though.

She tries to tone down her assholery depending on the person, or tailor it specificly to them to make their day worse. It depends.

Likes

Fighting. As 5lux put it, Inezra was hatched to hate. She doesn't need much reason to fight people and will go so far as to injure herself to get another lick in during those fights. There's something going on up there in her pan. Don't ask what it is.

Being a dick. This is just a precursor to fighting. She doesn't really do blackrom or she'd be in a quad with the whole world. If you hate her she likes you.

A cool cigarette to ease the pain.

Reading, but only sometimes, and she doesn't like most contemporary writing.

You'd think music would belong in this list but it doesn't. No I won't be elaborating on that right now.

Quirks

You can earn her honesty. Ways this has been done so far includes: fighting her and making it fun, having a spine, making her laugh, or being upfront about feelings (that last one doesn't always work). This is usually only for a limited time. You get one glimpse into her functioning troll brain. Just one.

She smokes. A lot. If she were normal she would probably have had two types of lung cancer by now, but she's suspiciously okay.

Whatever

Stuff that doesn't have a specific place to go yet.

Inezra doesn't relate to anyone in her age group. She finds it very strange how Sefoni & co (how she mentally refers to that entire extended friend group) seem wrapped up in other alien's cultures. It's somewhat alienating to be the only "real" troll, which as we all know is a feeling normal people react to with anger. 😀 (She's not actually normal.)

She actually did dodge the draft. That piece of trivia isn't punk posing and will probably catch up to her at some point.

The game doesn't exist in her universe. Every time she sees somebody talk about the game and adjacent topics she thinks they're taking FLARPing too far. It's the cognitive dissonance for me.

Thanks for making it this far. Maybe I'll vomit words again soon.

[soullikethesea]

I feel like I made some more progress.

If I'm following my impulse, the impulse with the family memories is to cry. Cry and have it be OK to do so. That is what seems to help. It seems to counter that feeling of needing to put on a brave face and stuff everything away inside as much as possible, freeze it up, hide it, erase it. No, I can't erase my discomfort. Not as much as I hope I'm able to.

Specifics below (might be boring)

I put out some Playmobil figures and cried while stating some very basic facts. We went on holiday. There were two adults and three kids. It was really hot. There were forests. We would lie down by the river and read. In the car sometimes my sister allowed me to listen to her music with her. I would draw with my brother. Food was scarce. I would text with my mum and with Bf sometimes and I was too scared to tell them the bad stuff. I kept it all inside. Or sometimes I would try running to process feelings, the fear.

It happened. No matter how much I wish it didn't and no matter how much I shrink and silence it all away inside. It happened and it has an effect on me and I try to be okay, but I'm not. I don't have words for what was not-okay, but my body kept the score. I think there was some sort of promise to myself to never go through that again: the heat, that landscape, in a group of people (who could turn against you).

I cried for the pain I felt and I let my hand hold my other hand. "I'm with you in that car, you're not alone." I remember how powerless it felt. Back then I had no choice but to endure. My siblings and I did feel some silent connection. At least I had that with my sister. She seemed to be a little bit aware. My brother has never known anything else and was so young that I don't think he was. He is so loyal to our parents that idk if it would be possible to process for him. But I couldn't talk to either of them because they weren't the ones outcasted. No one was secure enough to talk. I don't think any of us had words.

I think there's another layer of grief because Bf saved me. I was thinking of him all the time. He was my beacon of hope. "Someone cares about me."

I used to listen to "Time of dying" by Three Days Grace. It's kind of about realizing that you're living in a nightmare and willing yourself to survive. "I will not die, I'll wait here for you. I feel alive, when you're beside me."

But to think that he was sick and that I walked into that trap with open arms as well... Pretty rough.

My previous T tried using imagery to change the memory. She said she'd come and get me in the memory and we'd have dinner together and I wouldn't have to go back. Sadly, it makes me feel that same stuckness as back then. What would happen to my siblings? They would never choose to leave. Would they be OK? What would happen to me, alone and away from my family?

I have yet to figure out "what I needed" and then a way to change it that actually fits. Or maybe there is no way and it needs a different approach. I know now that crying and finding words are good.

[anything-viva]

sorry i just need to rant about this bc i've fucking had it. here's the big lies she's told me off the top of my head, kinda tmi but idc.

like she said she got pneumonia when she was nine and her parents refused to take her to the hospital, nearly killing her. funny thing, whenever i complained abt my cramps she'd bring up how hers used to put her in the hospital. (way to center the conversation on yourself, btw!) she wouldn't be old enough to drive when she first started getting them, so who took her to the hospital? i went to school with her, i live five minutes away from her, never saw ambulances that often! curious!

that's also part of the reason why i didn't get my shit checked out for so long! "oh, it's not as bad as rachel's so it's no big deal. i should just shut up and bear it." i can hardly stand up for ten minutes without pain now. THANKS! I CAME TO MY BEST FRIEND FOR ADVICE AND YOU LIED TO ME <3

btw her periods aren't even that bad. she gave me the thinnest fucking pad that would hardly last me three hours on a bad day like that. SHE CLAIMED IT WOULD LAST TWELVE! FUCKING LMAO! she didn't belive me when i laughed and told her it wouldn't last. if your parents refused to take you to the hospital when you nearly died, why would they take you if your periods are that light? like if your outer signs are so minimal, they wouldn't take you!!

said her dad took the lock off her door and creeped on her. HER DOOR HAS A LOCK, THERE IS NO DAMAGE ON THE DOOR!!! also the way she described it sounded exactly like an anime trope. shes a MASSIVE weeb, so i think she got it from some shitty anime she saw.

she said she's saving up to move out of her abusive household yet she splurges money like crazy. her room is full of anime figurines and unused wiccan shit. i really don't think she's actually a wiccan, she would've used those candles but they showed NO signs of use! as soon as we get together she starts talking abt buying lingerie and stuff from spencer's. aren't you saving up???

she says she can hear demons when her ears start ringing- babe, you have tinnitus.

and the constant constant "how do you think i feel?" she says i can tell her anything, but whenever i complain it's almost always "hOw Do YoU tHiNk I fEel" unless im on the verge of a fucking breakdown

said to my face "i haven't gotten fast food in months!" I WAS IN THE CAR WITH HER WHEN SHE GOT THEM? LIKE LMFAO? i wouldn't really care how she eats, but the audacity to lie to my face about something I SAW?!

she lies about getting commissions CONSTANTLY. made some fucking ridiculous lie up abt getting a comm from some rich lady who owns property at the tip of florida, supposedly over 100 manatees live there! No the fuck they don't!!!!!!! do you think i'm stupid?!

most recent example happened tonight. she hung up some of her paintings today at the gallery and claimed afterwards she got two offers on them? no the fuck she didn't, they were some of her worst paintings. i was there most of the time, i likely would've heard it!

i think that last bit is bc i got more attention than her. we were seated at the same booth. i talked a LOT to the people who were interested in my art because i can hold a conversation!

that's why she started making up shit abt commissions and getting jumped. OH MY FUCKIGN GOD

SHES BEEN DOING THIS AS LONG AS IVE KNOWN HER AND I ONLY JUST REALIZED

EDIT I FORGOT ABT THAT ONE TIME THIS SUMMER SHE SAID HER DAD TOOK A THIUSAND DOLLARS FROM HER BANK ACCOUNT. GOOD GOD I FORGOT ABT THAT. MY MOM AND BROTHER WERE THERE.