#but no matter how much deleting and forgiving and silencing i do in my own head i still cant forgive you tbh and i still hope you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

forbidding-souda · 11 months ago

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Mod Souda!~ I have never requested fic before, this is entirely new territory so please forgive me if I misstep. ^_^; Could I please request HC's regarding Korekiyo x autistic S/O? I tried finding similar in the master list, alas I could not which is completely on me if I wasn't thorough enough.

A little afterword of gratitude also for your masterful works on Korekiyo in particular, the way you HC him is beautiful. He is my ultimate comfort character and your content is poignant for me. I also wish you the absolute best on finals and in life in general! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)♡ I hope you are faring well. Thank you for all that you do here

Shinguuji Korekiyo with Autistic S/O

I've had this blog since quarantine so I can't even remember if I've written anything like this so I'm happy to write one for you regardless or not if it's a repeat.

Hai guys I don't have my edited sprites anymore bc I deleted them awhile ago so here's normal souda. Also if this is ass then my bad

hashtag actually autistic btw for anyone reading, i think it's right to share that when I write these ofc

okay mod souda behavior here where I say random stuff before each story but I'm watching impractical jokers rn and I don't know how some people watch this because the secondhand embarrassment is insane I literaly have to look away PLZZZ. This took an hour to write because half way through I started watching impractical joker clips on youtube (while the show is playing on the tv)

-Mod Souda

♥ He isn't a stickler about your interests. A good thing about being with him is that he won't make fun of you for anything you enjoy, no matter if he enjoys it himself or not. He'll never ask you to turn a movie off or to stop talking about something. He knows more than anybody else how isolating it can feel when somebody refuses to try and tolerate other people's passions; he would never put you down.

♥ He's naturally off-putting. If you experience people considering you off-putting then don't feel alone because Shinguuji is considered off-putting as well. He brushes off the negative things people thinks when it comes to himself, but when it comes to you and the negativity you face, it's hard for him to conceal how irritated he gets.

♥ I know some people have hyperfixations of like medieval torture methods so imagine how much he'd love that.

♥ ^ You also have the chance to teach him about really niche things, that's pretty sweet.

♥ ^ But I imagine that with some topics, he's gonna try and teach you about your own hyperfixation and it's gonna get annoying.

♥ He loves ur reactions to things. He gets so gushy-gushy and poetic. He likes finding what words make you smile, which ones make you laugh and which ones make you want to roll your eyes.

You stared back at him for a few seconds. He held an intense, filling gaze. The two of you were sitting on a park bench, facing the trees and enjoying the sounds of the birds. In between the conversation, there were moments of silence. Usually, he'd break them with small, unrelated sentences, but he's been quiet. "Korekiyo," you said quietly, a bit worried to startle him. To you, he was either in deep thought or, more humorously, sleeping with his eyes open. It took you to say it louder before he turned away. "My apologies," he smiled with a tilt of his head. His hair cascaded down his shoulder. His eyes went to the green leaves dancing in the wind. "We sit here in such a beautiful place, so lively. Most people would give their life away to view a sight like this." With no response, you just stared at him more, already knowing what he was going to say. He looked at you. "I've been all around the world and so I do not wish to waste my time looking at something I've seen before. You, however, do not come close to any of the beauties our world gives to us." "You love me so much, don't you?" You gave him a smile while his yellow eyes developed a look of interest: "You say that but do not realize that jests can be true words, too."

♥ If you need your alone time, he isn't going to stop you because he likes his, too. He knows that obviously you can be infatuated with somebody while also finding comfort in solitude.

♥ ^ And with that, he also has his own boundaries when it comes to where he goes whenever he wants solitude. He likes reading his books and analyzing his artifacts, all of which takes place in his study.

♥ ^ Yeah and don't touch his stuff because he is very protective of his collections. Therefore, he'd also never mess with something you own.

♥ If you're the type of person to have stuffed animals, and especially make them talk, he isn't going to pick up on that very quickly as means of a thing people still do. He'll give a history lesson as to 'ah yes, i've learned about this form of imagination within cultures of story telling, oral adventures'.

♥ Most of the time, he'll put your comfort over his.

♥ He'll stay up with you whenever you have trouble sleeping and are fully awake at 2am, no matter the cost. He is going to make sure that you know he is always there for you. He always has things to do.

♥ If you need help falling asleep, he'll do things like sing to you and let you watch videos in bed, whatever will make you most comfortable.

♥ He got some crazy eye contact btw I just want to put that out there.

#Shinguji korekiyo x reader #shinguuji korekiyo x reader #danganronpa x reader #x reader #drv3

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oz-me · 2 years ago

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I have to do this. More posts to come about this, but this is a quick post from my twitter about everything that happened with Sad Milk.: This context is entirely from twitter, with the expectation Blair will see it.

I think it’s time that I actually speak out on the current twitter threads regarding Sad Milk. I cannot express how scared I am to do this, the fear I have in my gut to even speak out. However, I do feel it’s important to say my peace on this subject matter.

Yeah, it’s a mess, but the tweet threads posted by wonder and Click, and what they have stated about Sad Milk is the truth. I will be adding those threads below.

The whole project was a mess. From start to finish. I really wish I didn’t need to do this, but with the flurry of Dm’s I’ve been getting, I don’t have a choice but to speak out.

Blair, I’m sorry, but you have hurt me. I need to speak without being told by you “Oh I’m just the villain? I’m always in the wrong?” or something along those lines. Words I have heard from you consistently. I want to be heard for once. I need to clear my mind and conscious after holding this in for 2 years. Forgive me, but it's what needs to be done. When looking at the whole of the project, it was mostly controlled and run by Blair.

Her main worry was that because of her, in her words, "Lack of Personality" she felt as though her contribution to sadmilk needed to be the managerial bureaucracy behind the scenes to justify her presence. This led to a defensive approach when anyone would attempt to assist with the nitty gritty behind the scenes. (Despite her claiming that no one wanted to help her. One of the factors she claims to be the final nail in the coffin of Sad Milk). Blair was indeed the aggressor. She always has been. As an example of this behavior, look at the legal eagle situation. Blair has the habit of starting fights, but will almost never publicly apologize if proven wrong.

She will instead hide behind a private apology probably, and from my perspective, act as though this makes everything better. Afterall, she would express to me that admitting error would only make her look stupid and weak.

This will be followed by her blocking people on twitter, silencing her detractors through youtube channel bans, deleting comments, and putting her accounts on the downlow to prevent interaction. For example, on Sad Milk, she would blacklist former collaborators from being mentioned, but manually approve hateful comments towards them, which in my opinion, were specifically ones which instead praised her or the remaining members. Including me. This is her MO. It has been for the 4 years that I’ve known her. It actually perfectly ties into how we first met and began to be on speaking terms in April of 2019. Sadmilk was very much like this. At the first sign of dissonance, her response was to have me confront OT and Click with this list of talking points in an attempt to show them just how wrong they were. Which I accepted. This brings me to, well. Me. What is missing from both Click and Wonders threads, is that fact that I acted as Blairs front runner. Anything Blair needed to say went through me first. Essentially act as a spokesman. This was actually a common factor in our relationship.

I would always act as a filter to keep her out of drama or from saying things which would be seen as offensive or kindle for a larger fire. I stopped doing this in January. This does not excuse me from protecting her for this long, but it is the truth. I could take the approach and say I was manipulated. Which, perhaps I was, but I still knew what I was doing was wrong. I always did, and it always hurt. It left a huge blackmark on my spirit and my ability to feel comfortable in my own skin. I had moved to Colorado, got a house, and lived with her at the time. She was in my life every day and I would hear these theories and villainous explanations directed at anyone who “wronged” her. It was hard to avoid, let alone not fall for them. I believed it was my responsibility to protect my friend from something that, in my view, was clearly hurting her, something that I felt was eating at her and making her daily life worse. Things which in hindsight, could have been solved with a conversation she was unwilling to have. Instead the conspiring, backstabbing, and rumor machine were put into full swing. I, much as wonder and Salty, were forced by Blair to choose between her or Click and OT. Of course I chose the person I lived with. What was I going to do? Move again? I mean I could have.. Once I chose my side, I was met with praise and adoration from her and her modstaff. It, at the time, felt like I was making the right decision. Fuck man. Boy was I wrong. I’ve lost so many friends, isolated myself, been at her side despite feeling like my connections to the world were being severed. I always acted as her talking piece, from yelling at One Topic, to berating click, and other things I did in service of someone who at the time, I believed every word of. I trusted Blair to hell and back and thought I was doing good. I have learned since then, through both self reflection and conversations with old friends, just how much I was (unintentionally, hopefully) used.

There, of course, is more. Much more. More than I could ever hope to cram into this stupid fucking twitter thread that I know I’m going to get angry DMs and phone calls over.

Blair. I need you to know that YOU hurt me. More than you realize. I know you’re scanning this and having your team read over it. Maybe even looking at sending me a legal threat as you parade around to do so. But I want you to apologize for once in your life and take accountability. Please. Blair, you would rather paint the world red than admit you have fault.

#SadMilk #Sad Milk #Oz Media #Oz #Click #One Topic #OT #Salty #wonderstruck

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kuroopaisen · 4 years ago

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tiny love || 9

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be. he is the perfect gentleman, after all.

warnings: f!reader, angst, swearing, a touch of spice?

wc: 1.5k

m.list | ch. 8 ↞ ch. 9 ↠ ch. 10

There was a knock on your door.

“What?” You yelled. Maybe you were being dramatic. But you certainly felt like you had the right to be.

“Can I talk to you?”

You bit your cheek. You didn’t have the emotional fortitude to look him in the eyes. But…

“Fine,” you sighed. “But you have to stay out there.”

“Okay.” He didn’t hesitate.

You sat up, sitting cross-legged on your mattress. “What do you want?”

There was an uneasy silence – the kind that made you want to crawl out of your own skin.

“You said I broke your heart.” You barely heard him. His voice was so low, so uncertain.

You didn’t know how to read his tone. Surprise? Regret? Confusion?

No. Fuck his feelings. He hadn’t given a damn about yours.

“Are you fucking stupid?”

“I—”

“What did you think would happen when you kissed me and then told me to pretend it never happened?” Your voice was barely below a yell.

They were words fuelled by rage. Maybe you’d regret them in the morning. But in that moment, you didn’t give a shit.

“You knew I had feelings for you and you just—you just—” Your breath caught in your throat, choking you. You wouldn’t cry. You couldn’t.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Hajime,” you hissed, the words dripping with vitriol.

You hadn’t thought it through. It was just what you felt; raw, honest, angry. It was a revelation to yourself just as much as it might be to him.

“I know.”

There was no frustration in his words. Just pure, simple acceptance.

“I was stupid.” His voice was almost illegible through the door. You knew that tone. It was the one he adopted whenever he was being sincere – something he struggled with outside of the odd frustrated outburst. “I… I should’ve talked to you about it instead of just making a decision for you.”

“Exactly.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, drawing your knees up to your chest.

Everything was so muddled. You’d been wanting to hear those words – you deserved those words.

You’d never known how to ask for them. If it hadn’t been for the weird tension tonight, you might never have heard them.

But were they worth it?

“I shouldn’t have behaved like that,” he said. “That was a mistake.”

“Good,” you sniffed.

In all honesty, you’d expected him to bite back after your outburst. He’s fiery, a tempest that’s easily stoked. But his words were so calm, so full of awareness.

He’d been thinking about this for a while, hadn’t he?

The realisation gave you less satisfaction than you’d hoped.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he said. He meant it. “If this… arrangement makes you uncomfortable, I’m happy to find somewhere else to live. And I’ll deal with finding you a new roommate.”

Your blood ran cold. What was he talking about?

How was that his solution to this problem?

“I… I’m angry with you,” you admitted. “But… but I don’t want to stop living with you.”

The weight of the contradiction burned through your skull. Honestly, you’d been angry with him for a while. The resentment had never really dissipated. Not as much as you’d believed it had.

But it was like he’d been trying to make up for everything since the beginning. Or, maybe he’s just a good guy. That in itself seemed like an apology.

God, why’d he have to go and be so likeable?

“Look, Hajime, I…” What did you even want to say? What could you say? “I… I… I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” he said softly. “Take your time.”

You sighed, stretching your legs out and flopping back on your mattress.

It felt like you were supposed to say something.

But there was too much to say. And yet, there was too little.

“If you want to talk, let me know,” Iwaizumi said after a long moment.

The sound of footsteps faded away, leaving you with an uncomfortable silence.

He was gone.

You bit your cheek, clenching your fists at your sides.

How could everything go to shit so quickly?

All he’d done was act a bit bratty. Well, ‘bratty’ was an understatement. He’d been acting like a little shit.

But had it really warranted your outburst?

If you asked Amaya, she’d say ‘yes, absolutely!’ She’d probably tell you that you’d gone soft on him. Maybe she was right.

But it felt like there was more nuance to it. Or, maybe you just wished that was the case.

He’d apologised.

He’d said he regretted treating you the way he had back then.

But he hadn’t said he regretted kissing you.

Albeit, maybe that wasn’t on his mind. But it felt like an important omission. He hadn’t said “I shouldn’t have done it,” or “I regret it.” The act itself wasn’t the problem.

It could be wishful thinking. You wanted him to not regret kissing you. Especially when the two of you were getting so close. Especially when you could feel your resolve to not fall into the same trap as two and a half years ago crumbling away.

And he’d been jealous. Of Kohei.

Jealous.

Did that mean…

You sat up, swinging your legs off the bed and planting your feet on the ground.

Your heart was thrumming in your chest, an insatiable, excited rhythm that you felt all through your body. It was like your brain was pulsing, a whirlwind of thoughts rushing through.

Were you sweating? Everything was so confusing, so real and yet so unbelievable, a cacophony of confusion and—

Your feet moved before you could register it.

There you were, standing in front of his room. What did you want to say? What did you want to do?

Your mind was blank. You were running on pure instinct and nothing else.

A knock on his door.

“Hey, Hajime?” You called.

“Hm?” His response didn’t give much away.

“Can I come in?”

A very long silence.

“Sure.”

Your hand lingered on the doorknob for a moment, nervous. For what, you weren’t sure.

You took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

He’s laid out on his bed in the lamplight, the warm glow cast flatteringly across his face.

You bit your lip, your mind racing with a myriad of jumbled thoughts that you were too tired to decipher.

“I… want to try something,” you swallowed, clenching your fists.

Iwaizumi frowned, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Deep breaths, you thought.

It was a stupid idea. A reckless one. But it’d buried itself deep, seeping into your bones.

You walked over to him slowly, each step its own ordeal. You stopped in front of him, an arm’s length away.

“You can say no,” you murmured.

Confusion rippled across Iwaizumi’s face as his eyebrows drew together.

His expression reflected exactly how you felt. But it was too late to back out now; that would only confuse things even more.

You cupped his face with trembling hands.

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as he gazed up at you, the confusion crumbling away to reveal something else. Something vulnerable.

He didn’t move away. You lingered for what felt like an eternity, but he didn’t pull back, didn’t tell you to stop.

He didn’t say no.

You swallowed roughly, your heart beating so hard you felt like it might burst through your chest.

This was stupid. Unbelievably stupid.

But you leant forward.

His eyes fluttered shut.

And you kissed him.

It was gentle, even reserved. But it was a kiss.

Warm, soft, gentle. Those were the only words to describe it. Iwaizumi leant into it, sending a jolt through your body. It was more a question than a kiss; a challenge, even. Nothing else mattered. Just this moment. This gesture.

You drew back slowly, finally ending the kiss. Iwaizumi leant forward with you for a moment, as if he didn’t want it to end.

He was staring at you with half-lidded eyes, his cheeks flushed red. You bent down to his ear, letting your lips brush against the shell.

“Do you want to pretend that never happened?” You whispered, the heat emanating from him almost overwhelming.

A moment of excruciating silence.

His hands gripped your hips, pulling you forward onto his lap. You buckled against him, grabbing his shoulders in an effort to stabilize yourself.

You blinked at him, your bravado dissipating as you realised just how close you were.

He was staring again, his eyes glinting with something close to hunger.

Was he waiting for permission? Rejection?

He plunged forward, capturing your lips in a rough, eager kiss. You gasped, digging your fingers into his shoulders. That was different.

“Fuck no,” he growled against your lips, his hands sliding from your hips to your back.

You sighed, leaning into him.

This was what you’d wanted all along. Being friends with him was fine. Nice, even.

But there was no way you and Iwaizumi could be ‘just friends’.

You wanted all of him.

And he was eager to give it to you.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: if i change my mind and delete this... you didn’t see anything

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #tiny love

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azucanela · 4 years ago

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SKIN DEEP DECEPTION

PAIRING: TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER [SOULMATE AU]

SUMMARY: In a world where the number of lies your soulmate tells each day is written in your wrist, Y/N has found that her soulmate has two moods. No lies, or dozens at a time.

WARNINGS: CURSE WORDS (WH*RE). ANGST. MILD VIOLENCE.

WORD COUNT: 4K.

A/N: happy anniversary? marriage? engagement? @bbykutos <3 this is my first time writing an au so pls lmk how i did and uhhh idk i feel like this is bad

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

IN A WORLD FILLED WITH LIES only one person knew when you were really telling the truth. That person being your soulmate. Though it’s not always a lover, that tended to be the most common occurrence when it came to soulmates. The whole point of soulmates had been to have someone perfect for you, though this wasn’t always the case of course.

Growing up, Y/N had always viewed soulmates as a false ideal, a distant fantasy, though the number on her wrist was confirmation enough that soulmates existed— that didn’t mean they were truly meant to be.

She’d learnt that the hard way.

At times, kids would find their soulmates in their first year of school; which normally went either really well or really poorly. Others in high school, college, some mundane moment at a coffee shop or a more dramatic one at one of the biggest moments of their lives. Sometimes it was romantic, other times it was chaotic, or just plain dull. Most of the times finding your soulmate meant catching them in the midst of a lie... several times. Sometimes people found love, an enemy, or... they just found their soulmate.

Y/N wasn’t the only person who’d become rather apathetic towards the whole idea, though there was no denying the small part of her— in the back of her mind, the part she’d tried so hard to bury— that hoped, that wished, that dreamed of a soulmate who cared for her.

And yet, even her own parents were an example of this false ideal.

Not that it mattered, seeing as she was yet to meet her soulmate. There was no reason to dwell on it, that had become abundantly clear to Y/N, and yet here she was, allowing her mind to wander as she stared— maybe even glared— at her wrist in class.

“I need to use the restroom.”

The word’s pull her out of her daze, eyes rising back up to the board where her teacher stands— smile on her face as she replies, “of course! Go on ahead.” Y/N’s eyes trail over to the student in question, the blonde boy seated beside her, Tsukishima Kei. She was familiar with him seeing as they’d gone to the same middle school. He also happened to be the class’ star pupil due to his stellar intellect.

With a frown, Y/N exhales deeply and looks back down only to come face to face with the number on her wrist having increased by one.

1 lie so far today, huh.

Most days Y/N had found that the lies didn’t start piling up until the afternoon, other times there were slim to none, and assuming they were in high school as well— what were they lying about. It truly left her baffled at what in the world they could be saying. Aside from this curiosity, the thought of her soulmate returned to the back of her mind as a hand tapped her shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts once more.

A green haired boy stands beside her— she recognizes him, Yamaguchi Tadashi. They’d been friends in middle school and remained so when they’d entered high school, though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Yamaguchi had tried and failed to keep it that way.

The bitter memories resurface, though Y/N simply pushes them to the back of her mind alongside all the over thoughts she doesn’t want to address as she turns to Yamaguchi with a smile, “hey Yamaguchi, what’s up?”

He offers her a nervous smile, eyes flickering across the room before returning to her before he replies, “I was wondering if you wanted to be in my group?”

Tilting her head at him, a small laugh escapes Y/N as she asks, “group?”

For a moment Yamaguchi’s brows furrow, though his eyes drift towards her single rolled up sleeve, the number one displayed on it, “oh! We have a group project for the next few weeks.” Comes his response.

“Project...” Y/N mumbles out, eyes scanning the room as she watches people enter clusters of three, talking and writing things down in their journal— even exchanging numbers. “Right.”

She had a feeling that Tsukishima’s sunny disposition hadn’t done them any favors when it came to getting other members to join their group projects. Coupled with Yamaguchi’s need to end all conflict between his friends.

That must be how they ended up here.

Opening her mouth to speak, Y/N quickly shut it as she searched for the right words, bringing an arm to the back of her neck as she scratched it awkwardly. “I just don’t know if that would be the best idea—”

“If what would be the best idea?” Behind Yamaguchi comes Tsukishima, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks between them.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Y/N looks away, brows furrowing as memories begin to surface. Seeing as the last time they’d interacted, Tsukishima had elected to use some... crude words. Well, Y/N had expected awkwardness when they inevitably spoke to each other once more, and the fact that he seemed to unfazed left her wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

Preferably in a violent way.

Yamaguchi seems to answer for her as he replies, “well I was thinking since we need groups of three, Y/N would just join us.” Yamaguchi looks between the pair before saying, “like old times.”

Y/N wants to gag.

Moving to stand, she offers Yamaguchi a tight lipped smile, “I’ll probably join a different group but—”

“There are no other groups.” Tsukishima interrupts, though there’s no emotion in his words, as though he’s simply stating a fact. Because clearly, he doesn’t care.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods slowly, looking between the both of them before saying, “well you both have my number.” The bell rings, and Y/N can’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she continues, “text me about the project whenever.” Before immediately grabbing her bag from beside her desk and swinging it over her shoulder.

Tsukishima is watching as she leaves, a sigh escaping him as he adjusts his glasses before turning to Yamaguchi, “you’ll need to make a group chat.”

“Why?” He asks, brows furrowing as he pulls at his phone to do so regardless, fingers typing away at the screen.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Tsukishima shrugs, “she has me blocked.”

Yamaguchi pauses his typing, sighing. Though he doesn’t look up at Tsukishima as he replies, “Of course she does— well I would too.” Yamaguchi exhales deeply, “you should apologize to her.”

It had always been a touchy subject in their friendship, the way that Tsukishima had elected to end— more accurately, ruin — his friendship with Y/N. Though Yamaguchi wasn’t there to hear what he’d said himself, he’d heard it had been pretty bad from others. After all, Tsukishima had received his first, second and third punch to the face that day.

It was deserved.

“Yeah.” Comes his reply, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

In an attempt to combat the uncomfortable silence between them, Yamaguchi asks, “so where’d you go?”

A smirk breaks out on Tsukishima’s face, “not the bathroom that’s for sure.”

THE NEXT TIME TSUKISHIMA KEI TEXTS Y/N, the message actually goes through. For some reason he can’t bring himself to delete the ones that came before, the apologies from a year prior followed by his messages of realization that she had blocked him.

Maybe it was the fact that his pride had taken a blow or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to know if he was forgivable, Tsukishima had never made any attempts to apologize fact to face.

Actually, that’s a lie, he had. But he had chickened out last minute, the panic flooding his veins as he was faced with a situation almost identical to the one that had gotten him into the mess. Seeing her alongside the very person who had punched him in the face that day— well, the first person who had that is— a broad smile on her face.

And who was he to ruin that. Did he even want to know what she’d say? Would she call him ridiculous, a fool for even thinking an apology could mend anything between him?

Would hearing her voice one more time, even if it was just riddled with insults, be enough for closure? He’d done this to himself Tsukishima was well aware but that didn’t make him any less upset at the fact that he’d lost his best friend.

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those memories as he stares at the message, a simple:

hey, it’s tsukishima.

He was fairly sure that not only had he been blocked he had also had his number deleted, so starting with an introduction seemed right.

we’re meeting at my house tmrw after school. yamaguchi and i have volleyball practice, you can wait for us at the gym or just head over to my house i dont care.

There are so many implications to the message and they all leave Y/N’s head spinning, or maybe she was reading into it. She wasn’t sure at this point, but it was clear that Tsukishima was well aware that she still had the key to his front door.

Y/N elected to show up to volleyball practice rather than face his mother alone.

Stepping into the gym, the sound of shows scrapping against the floor, and volleyballs hitting the ground at an almost rapid pace as people moved around the courts just as quickly.

Y/N scrunches up her nose as she’s hit with the smell of sweat, something to be expected in a gym of course, lips pressing together into a straight line as she steps further into the gym and looks to her left. There stands another girl, albeit slightly intimidating but she looked far more approachable than the other people around the gym

“Excuse me?”

She turns, brows furrowing slightly at the sight of Y/N before offering her a smile and asking, “hey. How can I help you?”

Smiling back— albeit awkwardly— Y/N replies, “I’m waiting for someone,” Y/N quickly realizes that isn’t much information as she adds, “someone in this club. Actually, two people— that’s beside the point. Is there anywhere I can just sit, until the end?”

Once more her brows furrow, “our practices tend to go on pretty long, especially since some of the boys like extra work and we have a few practice games coming up.” Shaking her head slightly, the girl gestures to the bench beside her, “you can sit here with me, I’m Kiyoko by the way.”

“So who are you waiting for?”

“Oh, uh... Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Y/N finds herself coming by the gym more often after that day, although it isn’t because she has to walk back to Tsukishima’s house after with him and Yamaguchi, it’s because she finds herself enjoying Kiyoko’s presence. She’s a quiet girl, but she’s rather witty behind the scenes, and certainly and entertaining and fun person. And so were the other boys in the club.

They’d quickly become intrigued by the presence of another girl and—

“Another female manager? Nice!”

“Another manager? Why?”

“Kiyoko are you leaving us!?”

Okay so maybe Y/N had inadvertently joined the Boy’s Volleyball Club, but she really had nothing better to do with her time, much less with all the time she had between school and when the practice ended, allowing Tsukishima to go home with Yamaguchi and Y/N. But it’s not like it wouldn’t be over soon, right? The groups would only last two weeks and then Y/N would be free of her old— or more accurately, ex-friend.

Wrong, the groups became permanent. For the rest of year the students have to use them, for every single group project. Leaving Y/N to dread the class each time she entered due to the burning anticipation of a possible group project. Though Yamaguchi had made several attempts to approach Y/N since their last project ended just a few weeks prior, going as far as ditching Tsukishima entirely to sit with her at lunch some days.

Y/N entertained him, it’s not like she wanted to be rude or anything— not to Yamaguchi that is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t been the one to randomly explode and call her a variety of... colorful words upon finding her with a friend last year.

Neither Y/N nor Yamaguchi bring it up of course, how Tsukishima had driven her away with his crude words that she never expected would ever be directed towards her.

But...

“We’ll be having another group project for the next two weeks!”

The conversation was inevitable.

Y/N nearly rams her head into her desk as she sighs, eyes drifting upwards towards the ceiling as though that would solve any of her current problems, before looking back to Tsukishima with a rather sarcastic smile that he returns with one of his own. Yamaguchi on the other hand, is waving rather enthusiastically from his seat in the classroom, beaming.

It’s not like it was a bad group. They got things done, and when grades were returned, they were good. It’s just that Tsukishima was... Tsukishima. And as annoying and rude as he was, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more annoyed with herself because she still couldn’t find it in herself to hate him.

Backpack slung over her shoulder, Y/N exhales deeply as she looks back at Yamaguchi who remains at his porch, “make sure she gets home safe, Tsukki!”

“That’s really not necessary, Yams.” She assures, giving him a pointed look when Tsukishima turns around with a disinterested shrug. But of course. the boy waves her off, simply shoving her forwards with Tsukki, offering her a thumbs up and a smile.

Y/N simply turns around and follows Tsukishima with a scowl, quickly moving ahead of him as she tugs her backpack strap tighter onto her shoulder.

Tsukishima is rolling his eyes as she moves ahead of him, “how am I supposed to stop you from getting kidnapped when you’re a mile ahead of me?” He calls out to her, maintaining his pace. Y/N doesn’t reply, continuing on ahead, “Y/N.” He repeats, “Y/N.” Once more, she ignores him, until she hears his steps pick up behind her, a hand wrapping around her wrist and stopping her movements.

“Yes Kei?” She exclaims in annoyance, turning back to him. Only for her mouth to gape open as she grimaces, “Tsukishima. I mean.”

He exhales deeply, looking away momentarily before saying, “I’m sorry.”

So, Y/N laughs. “Wow. Tsukishima Kei swallowing his pride to apologize? Impressive.” Tsukishima opens his mouth to reply, only for Y/N to speak first and say, “I hate you.” Before tearing her arm out of his grasp and stepping ahead once more.

Y/N isn’t looking at him as he replies, “no you don’t.”

And Tsukishima would’ve believed had he not looked to his wrist, the number rising with each insult Y/N spewed. Though there was no denying that he deserved it, but that didn’t stop the grimace that came on his face before he asked, “you done?”

WHEN TSUKISHIMA FOUND OUT Y/N WAS HIS SOULMATE, it did not end well. He wasn’t really sure if he had a plan that day, but if he did it went out the window once he saw her with one of her friends from another school. Though Tsukishima had never met the boy in question, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Y/N liked him, whether that was platonic or not it didn’t matter. Because watching her laugh along with him in the convenience store only served as a reminder that there were people better than him.

Tsukishima had never considered himself insecure per se, much less an over thinker or anything of the sort. But the simple fact of the matter was, Y/N didn’t want him, she was stuck with him as his soulmate.

And though she was blissfully unaware of this fact, why did that need to change?

Perhaps she could be happier with that boy, with anyone other than him. Tsukishima had known Y/N for years and though he would never admit it, he respected her, he cared for her, long before he’d discovered they were soulmates. And prior to his discovery he’d always found the system idiotic, so why did his mindset have to change?

It was a bitter ideology, and a jealous and foolish reaction that put him in the place he’s in today. Though Tsukishima was fairly sure it only proved his point, that she deserved better, that didn’t make him any more remorseful of their friendship.

He’d nearly told her several times, like the blunt and straightforward person he is, Tsukishima had almost stopped her in the halls of school and simply said— “surprise! We’re soulmates. Sorry about calling you a whore and all, I was just jealous and bitter because I realized there are people out there better for you and somehow you got stuck with me!”

Yeah, that would’ve blown over real well. Tsukishima was fairly sure he would’ve received an addition hit to the face from her and Yamaguchi, again.

Yamaguchi was not happy when he found out about the convenience store incident. At all.

Tsukishima couldn’t recount many times when he was scared of Yamaguchi Tadashi, until his fist was flying towards his face. Of course, he laughed it off, wiping the blood from his nose, but that didn’t make it a fun experience by any means.

Now, Tsukishima was just trying to amend things, slightly. It’s not like Y/N owed him any of her time, and it’s not like she needed to know that they were soulmates.

It would be better off that way for the both of them, or at least, that’s what Tsukishima told himself— much to Yamaguchi’s dismay. The boy had been urging Tsukishima to just tell her the truth, for a while now, to no avail. And when Tsukishima returned to class one day having discovered he would be in a group with her and Yamaguchi, well he couldn’t help but thing Yamaguchi was scheming.

But looking up to Yamaguchi and Y/N, who are seated at the table of some café Y/N had insisted on coming to, Tsukishima can’t help but think it was worth it.

No, she didn’t need to know.

And so, against her better judgement, Y/N had allowed things to return to normal. The same weekly hangouts they once had becoming daily because of volleyball practice each day, forcing Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N together for even longer periods of time. Walks homes becoming progressively longer as they all speak amongst themselves— or more accurately, Y/N and Yamaguchi speak. Then again, Tsukishima had always been more of the quiet kind unless he had something witty to add on.

This revival of friendship meant the return of the late night calls as well, of course. Albeit, most of them filled with a comfortable silence that Y/N finds herself relishing in a she lays in bed, eyes glued to the time shining in the corner of her phone screen.

11:52PM.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolls over on her bed, tugging at her sleeve to pull it down and reveal the counter on her wrist. There have been a few lies today, though there hadn’t been any in the past few hours. In recent months the number had been fluctuating more which Y/N found... odd.

Tsukishima seems to notice her shift in mood, though he doesn’t look up from his work as he asks, “what is it?” When Y/N doesn’t respond, he simply repeats himself, asking, “what’s wrong?

Y/N’s brows furrow as she huffs, bringing her arm back down and pushing herself up on her bed using her elbows before replying, “what do you mean?”

“The dramatic sigh.” Comes his reply, eyes still glued to the page in front of him as the sound of his pen moving against the paper fills his room.

Y/N looks to him on the screen incredulously as she scoffs, “it was not a dramatic sigh.”

A pause on his part as he looks down before replying, “I don’t even think you believe that Y/N.” He responds, rolling his eyes before adjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose.

Sometimes Y/N wondered how he’d always been able to do that, read her like a book. Was she truly that predictable? Grimacing, Y/N brushes away the thought, “nothing is wrong?” Her response sounds more like a question, leaving her cringing at her inability to lie.

Tsukishima raises a brow as he dryly responds, “that was convincing.”

Y/N just sighs again, eyes drifting to her wrist once more— the counter now reset to zero as the day starts anew— as she pauses, wondering if the conversation would be worth it.

“Do you ever think of you soulmate, Tsukishima?”

His pen stops, and if Y/N was looking at the screen rather than her wrist, she would’ve seen the way he straightened in his seat as he replied, “no. I don’t.” He clears his throat, “no point in dwelling on someone I haven’t even met yet.”

Maybe Y/N would’ve replied had the counter not ticked up to 2 as he spoke.

But it was a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence.

“So... you haven’t met your soulmate yet?

Another moment of silence before he replies, “no.” With a sigh.

Y/N brings a hand to clasp over her mouth, “you’re kidding me.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “you’re fucking kidding me.” Y/N finds herself inhaling deeply as she attempts to calm herself. “How long have you known?”

Y/N WAS AVOIDING HIM, not that he didn’t deserve it, again. But that didn’t make it any better. Tsukishima found himself frowning as he stared at his eyes pierced into the back of her head, and for the first time he found himself hoping for a group project.

What a change in events.

Tsukishima was honestly more worried about what Yamaguchi would say once he found out that he and Y/N were fighting again but... that was something to worry about for another time.

“We’ll be having a group project once more today! If you haven’t realized already, this class is oriented around the idea of building you collaborative and social skills.”

Okay, maybe not another time.

Tsukishima can practically hear Y/N’s head fall against her desk, his eyes drifting back to her as the teacher drones on about the requirements of this assignment and how they’ll pick up the rubric once class ends and they can further review it tomorrow.

Probably because the bell rings almost immediately after.

Y/N has already shot up from her seat, tugging her back over her shoulder as she beelines for the exit of the class. And for once, Tsukishima finds himself making an effort to keep up with her as he calls out her name, “Y/N, stop.”

This seems to garner Yamaguchi’s attention, who jogs to keep up with the pair as they all exit the classroom, “guys? What’s going on?”

“Everything is fine, Yamaguchi!” Comes Y/N’s response from ahead of them, waving him off.

Yamaguchi’s brows furrow as he grabs Tsukishima’s wrist only to see that the counter has risen, causing him to look up at Tsukishima when he finally yanks his wrist away. “What did you do?”

Tsukishima looks to him incredulously, “what makes you think I did something?”

Yamaguchi looks to him blankly as he replies, “well Y/N isn’t chasing you through the halls, is she?” He rolls his eyes, jogging to get ahead of the both of them and block their path as he looked to them with furrowed brows, “what is going on guys?”

“Not now, Tadashi, please—”

“Tadashi?”

The group pauses in the empty hallway, most of the other students having left now that the day had ended, and the sound of Tsukishima’s voice is unlike anything Y/N has heard before as she sighs.

“I wish you had told me, Tsukishima.” Is all she mumbles out, before dragging a hand through her hair and pushing past the both of them, turning the corner of the hall and leaving them alone there.

A/N: gasp :0 yamaguchi?

#tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima x you #kei x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #kei x you #kei tsukishima x you #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyu!! x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x you #haiky #tsukishima kei x y/n #tsukishima x y/n #kei x y/n #kei tsukishima x y/n

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nikmikaelsonswife · 4 years ago

Note

i have a request for angsty prompts 78 and 85. instead of caroline, the vampire reader is pregnant with alaric’s babies, so her and alaric (who would let her out of his sight, since he learned about the twin.) go down to new orleans to tell her boyfriend klaus. an argument starts, and someone says the prompts. and you can choose the ending. (since i am no good at endings!) thank you and i love your writing! ❤️: mikaelson-emma

see now, you didn’t have to be so sweet 🥺 tysm for requesting. my apologies for the very long wait.

Unconditionally | Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

Description: After confessing your pregnancy to Klaus, the relationship begins to go down hill.

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Reader, Alaric Saltzman x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: swearing, angst

A/N: i tried to make this as heart wrenching as possible. i haven’t been in the best state of mind to write much besides headcannons, i literally deleted this entire thing twice cause i hated it. being a perfectionist, i refuse to post some story i put half-ass effort in. it’s still kinda shitty though. so, hopefully you enjoy.

“Klaus, listen to me.”

“No. You listen to me.” He sneered, “How would you feel if the tables were turned? Tell me. Hypothetically speaking, I impregnate another woman with my hybrid children. I know for certain that you’d be boiling with rage. We both know it.”

You trailed behind him as he stalked toward your shared bedroom. He ripped open your dresser drawers, grabbing handfuls of your clothing and tossing them on the bed. You ran toward him, shoving him away in an attempt to get him to stop. “Why are you doing this?!”

“YOU ARE PREGNANT WITH SOMEBODY ELSE! WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!?” His outburst caused you to sharply jolt, a small gasp leaving your lips. He had never raised his voice at you, never like that. And when he noticed the influx of tears gushing from your eyes, guilt, along with his heart, pounded in his chest.

“No.” You shook your head in rebellion, blocking his way so he couldn’t force away another trace of you. “You said you’d never leave me! Don’t you dare turn your back on me!”

“Eternity, that is what you promised me!” You exclaimed at his back after he turned away from you, a moment of intense silence ensuing in between the two of you. Then suddenly, he flipped around, storming toward you before he invaded your personal space. The look on his face made you shrink back into yourself, dark and furious eyes piercing through your own.

“GET OUT! I don’t want to see your face EVER AGAIN!” With your eyes squeezed shut, your ears rung before you felt a gust of air, signaling that he had left. Emotion overwhelmed you, causing the floor to slip from underneath you. Dropping to your knees, your entire body shook with each cry that emitted from your throat.

Your relationship was over. You were all alone again.

Strong arms wrapped around your shoulders before you heard Alaric whisper in your ear, “It’s going to be okay. Let’s get you home, alright?”

—

When you heard the sound of your front door creaking open, you finally lifted your cheek from the tear-soaked pillow beneath your head. You froze, zeroing in on the crisp silence of your bedroom, listening for a heartbeat. You weren’t afraid for yourself, being a one-hundred year old vampire, but for the lives growing inside your belly.

Your eyes widened in the darkness when the perpetrator pulled one of your double doors open.

“Klaus?”

Coming closer until he stood next to the bed, he wordlessly peeled his clothes from his body, climbing into bed next to you. His arms wrapped around your shaking frame, his skin warm to the touch.

“What are you doing here?” Cool air brushed the skin of your ear as he quietly sighed, aware that you were still upset from your tone of voice. “I came to talk.” Even though the both of you knew he had hoped that there wouldn’t be any conversation. He despised confrontation when it came to you.

“Okay.” You shifted to where you were staring up at him, ignoring the obvious remorse in his eyes. “I didn’t ask for any of this. I want to have your baby, Klaus! I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you. I love you and you only. Doesn’t that matter at all?”

Slipping his hands in yours, he cradled you against his chest. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I understand that this isn’t your fault....” He trailed off when you began to talk again.

“You’re right, none of it is my fault. You’re the one in the wrong. You’re the one who broke your promise.”

“And you can’t just come back and,” you ripped yourself from his grip, sitting up and glaring at him from over your shoulder, “hug me and touch me and expect me to just forgive you so easily. You said you would never turn you back on me, Klaus!”

He raised up along with you, eyes dancing between the floor and the window as he was unable to meet yours that were glaring at him with double the anger he had possessed only so long ago. “Love...”

“No!” You yelled, uncrossing your arms from your chest as you gestured toward him. “You made me feel like shit for something I can’t control! I’m having these babies because it’s the right thing to do. I have the power to give life despite my species! And I’m going to do just that.”

Chuckling bitterly, you blinked repeatedly, fighting the tears that threatened to break the surface of your eyes. “You always treat your siblings like crap because they betray you o-or stand against you. I’ve always stood by your side, and all it took was this for you to throw me away!” During your rant, you hadn’t realized that he had made his way over toward you.

He pulled you into him, whispering sweet nothings as you shook your head. He wasn’t getting out of this, you weren’t done. You refused to be done, refused to continue to accept this behavior. You didn’t deserve the way he betrayed you.

“You c-can’t just do this...you can’t kiss me and make it okay...” You struggled against him, gently pushing at his chest, rejecting his embrace.

“Stop it, Klaus. Stop...” Suddenly, you burst into tears, a broken cry escaping your throat as you gave up on fighting him. Klaus hadn’t realized what he had done, thinking that it was only another fight. Hadn’t realized he had cut far too deep this time.

“Why can’t you just love me?” You inquired softly, eyelids falling at the warmth radiating from his body. He silently cursed himself, upset with the fact that you would even have to question his feelings for you. After tucking your hair behind your ear, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I can’t say anything that’ll change the fact that I went back on my word. All I can do is hope that one day you’ll forgive me and have faith that I’ll change my ways.” Taking your chin in his fingers, he turned you to face him. Your heart leaped at the sight of his watery eyes.

“I will forever love you, (Y/N). Unconditionally. That’s never going to change. And I won’t give you a reason to question it ever again.”

#requested #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus stan club #niklaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson imagine #angst #the originals #the vampire diaries imagines

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2-cute-4-school · 4 years ago

Text

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢

@proseeuhn~aaah its okay if it takes a while! i honestly dont mind! my requests was… how would the dreamies react to their friend/crush who is usually unintentionally quite distant and intimidating being with soft with them and grabbing their hand out of nowhere to just play with it? if that makes sense?? like the friend/crush gets all soft and grabs the dreamies hand and plays with it djskks thank you in advance! ~ Thank you so much for your request (๑>◡<๑) , it was such a fun and original idea, i really enjoyed coming up with scenarios for this (requests are still open btw)

Mark Lee

so mark may be just a tiny huge bit scared of you sometimes

but that’s mostly because babie doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of you 🥺

cuz your rbf gives him THE chills sometimes

you’re the definition of a ‘bruh’ person but somehow that’s a huge charm in mark’s eyes he’s royally whipped been there done that

and the one(1) way mark can fully relax and be in his element is when he’s playing the guitar i’d die to see/hear him

and even after he’s done you’re just ✨ vibing ✨ together in silence

until you suddenly reach out and grasp his hand in yours and bring it close to your face

mark.exe has unexpectedly crashed (((( ;°Д°))))

“woah your fingertips are so calloused from playing”

mark needs a cooler PRONTO (⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

he’s OVERHEATING FOR REAL and hyperaware of your warm breath fawning over his fingertips

and then you intertwine your hands and bring them into your lap as you brush your thumb against the exposed skin on his hand that you’re able to reach with a small smile on your lips (ﾟ ωﾟ//）

and mark is SHOOK with your casual display of affection and softness

he can’t help but stare at the soft curl of your lips, the light twinkle in your eyes, the fingers that grip his own so firmly yet so endearingly ♡‿♡

“you’re so beautiful” it just slips out

0.0 pause, delete existence, rewind major PANIC

but to his immense surprise a faded hue of red paints your cheeks and ears (๑•́‧̫•̀๑)

“thanks, you’ll get there too eventually “

（ノT＿T)ノ＾┻━┻ way to ruin a moment

but he does forgive you when he feels the index finger of your other hand trace a faint heart on the back of his hand (*>ω<*)

and mark would spend a lifetime playing his guitar if it meant he’d get to witness this unexpected but very welcomed side of you

Huang Renjun

renjun probably watches you like a hawk

your distant demeanor sometimes baffles him poor baby

but he likes you too much to give up so easily whipped man ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

and he does everything he can to *subtly* hint about his tiny huge crush but without making you uncomfortable renjun best boi we been knew

but you don’t seem to get the gist AT ALL (>皿<)

and renjun is getting more and more concerned on your lack of affection towards him

so babie gets lowkey sad (oꆤ︵ꆤo) not allowed in this household

until one blessed time you’re peeking over his shoulder as he inspects one of his unworldly amazing drawings

*GASP* “JUN THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL”

you hurriedly take a seat beside him and grab one of his hands in yours as you gush over his artwork

“HOW EVEN, THIS IS JUST…JUST- I HAVE NO WORDS, MY JUN IS THE BEST ARTIST IN THIS filthy WORLD!!!11!!!1!” ლ(^o^ლ)

renjun’s brain and face is overheating

‘we…we’re holding ha-hands??!? and they called me best artist- wait ‘MY jun’??!?!!??!?!?’ （◎0◎）

and while he’s already shutting down, you decide enough isn’t enough and give him THE FINAL BLOW

you run your fingers gently over the back of his right hand and you suddenly lean your head on his shoulder as your soft voice registers in his overworked brain

“your birthmark is so pretty, renjun, so unique” (♥ω♥*)

*please bring cold water, towels, a fan, the entire fridge, renjun is burning alive he hot that’s why*

but renjun makes THE ULTIMATE POWER MOVE and brings your intertwined hands up to lay a *smooch* on your hand 🥺

get a room pls

Lee Jeno

the members once said they also found jeno intimidating and cold before getting to know him

so he’s certain that you only need to open up a lil

that’s why no matter how distant and icy you act towards him

he never NEVER gives up

just shoots you one of his ^‿^ smiles and carries on

and unconsciously, you start to soften up around him

and there a very specific moment when he started to realize that

you were helping him cut up some fruits and as he was about to grab another apple, you grabbed his hand, intently inspecting it

jeno having a heated internal debate : ‘chill man, don’t give them a reason to catch you off guard’ (ó﹏ò｡)

“well i gotta admit lee jeno”

“huh?” insert that cute confused sound he makes

“i’m really awestruck by you”

jeno puffing his chest internally : ‘well it’s damn time you noticed me senpai’ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

“you’ve really got the ugliest tan i’ve ever seen”

‘ASDFKAWDKSAIKAKJW- *passes out* ‘ X.X

jeno just snatches his hand away and grumbles about fruits and bicycles

he’s sulky the entire day but not because you hurt his ego no

and as much as you love teasing jeno, your growing soft spot for him is acting up and your melted heart just *mush*

so you kick renjun off the couch in order to sit beside jeno renjun tries to protest but you shoot him *that look* and he retreats with his tail between his legs ミ●﹏☉ミ

jeno tries to keep up his deeply hurt act dramatic much

until he feels shy fingers brushing his as if hesitating, before they curl around his firmly

‘ASDFKAWDKSAIKAKJW- *passes out* ‘ x2 because the softness in his heart is just too much for him

later on it becomes a habit neither of you complains

Lee Donghyuck

it’s the 4th time in the past 2 hours

and yes, donghyuck has been keeping count for scientific purposes obv

nvm, it’s the 5th time your hand brushed against his

and hyuck is ✨ ABOUT TO LOSE HIS MARBLES ✨

the demons on his shoulders are arguing by now

‘this is an attempt to subtly hold your hand dumbass’ (－‸ლ)

‘no it’s not, they would never touch anyone, remember when they threatened to chop chop that guy’s balls for touching them?’

‘it’s not the same thing, you’d let the opportunity if holding your crush’s hand pass by like this?’

‘sure go ahead, and then watch y/n dip it in acid’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

donghyuck shuddered at the thought

what he doesn’t know is that sure, while sticking a random guy’s hand up his ass for touching you is a ‘been there done that’ for you

hyuck isn’t just a random guy

you’d choke on an asparagus before admitting it, but he has grown on you

sure, he’s still an annoying brat sometimes

but he’s so much more than that, he understood you in ways other couldn’t, he was patient with you and did his best to comfort and show you he cares in his own way (｡♡ˇд ˇ♡｡）

and you grew to care for him too

maybe a bit more than a friend should ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“hey hyuck!! my hand is cold, warm it up for me”

you acted on impulse before you could chicken out and before hyuck could answer and slipped your hand in his

demon on left shoulder : ‘ha told ya pay up BEACH’

“you only love me for my warmth” said donghyuck totally not blushing and fangirling on the inside

“pffft i don’t love you, i like tolerate you and just shut up human radiator” said y/n totally not swinging their hands back and forward like kids in love

Na Jaemin

this man= W H I P P E D

y/n makes an edible omlet? jaemin : this is real taste, 5 star michelin right here!! stream gods menu cowards

y/n squishes hyuck like a bug for waking them up? jaemin : yes babe whoop go off cutie!!! (•̀o•́)ง

y/n breathes? jaemin : PERFECTION!!!11!!!1!!1!!

so you went from ‘(•ิ_•ิ)? what is this person saying??’

to ‘ (｡•́︿•̀｡)why isn’t he saying anything’ whenever he omits cheering you

but in a subtle way

you can’t have him catching on

so one day you’re sitting at the kitchen table and he’s feeding you pieces of fruit you whine about being able to feed yourself but nana knows you’re secretly enjoying it

when you suddenly snatch his other hand and one of renjun’s pencils left around and you 🥺 him

unfair if you ask him, how is he supposed to say no so he doesn’t

and you start doodling on his hand o(^◇^)o

he tries to peek at what you’re doing but you squeal softly and move to cover your drawing

“nana! wait until i’m done!!!’ (｀0´)

he *melts* at your cute reactions and resorts to watching your face expressions fondly as he occasionally prods your lips with fruit

“done!!!”

you move away to let him see the cute dolphin you drew on the back of his hand and he gushes about the cuteness of your drawing

but then you shyly start fiddling with his fingers as you explain

“you know how a dolphin helped poseidon find his love? this will make sure you’ll always find me” (๑•́‧̫•̀๑)

jaemin, softly smiling in understanding, curls his own fingers over yours and brings them up to his chest

“you don’t have to worry about that”

Zhong Chenle

chenle doesn’t seem a very affectionate person either

so he’s not really worried about your lack of affection social distancing

what he is worried about is that you’re also distant on an emotional level

because what if he misreads you?

what if you misunderstand him because of the lack of communication?

what if he isn’t there for you the one time you need him?

this baby just wants you to know he cares (◕⌓◕;)

but at the same time he doesn’t want to act in a different way around you read as doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of his crush

also you’re quite close

as friends for now (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

and as he does with all his close friends : he brings you to his home in china!!!!

and this boi has the surprise of his life when you obviously make an effort to open up to his family ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

you smile and chat a lot with his mom and chenle also gets to talk a lot with you since he has to translate so who’s the real winner here

and you know that variety show(?) where chenle dances with his grandpa in the park? you go there too (∗´꒳`)

and while you’re both waiting on the side…

you!!!!grab!!!!his!!!!HAND!!!! and pull him towards the dance floor!!

chenle : Σ(゜ロ゜;) then looks at you being all : o(^◇^) and chenle turns to : (●♡∀♡) whipped culture everyone

he barely even breathes until you settle for a comfortable dance pattern, one of your hands on his shoulder, one of his laying gingerly on your waist respectfully cuz he is a manners man

but most importantly : hands clasped together at the side!!!!!!

and these minutes in which you just dance together without a worry, chenle gets to live his long forgotten childhood dreams 🥺 you know how in cinderella it’s the dance that starts everything? yeah that

chenle marks this date in his calendar and makes it a national day

Park Jisung

lyin’ is a sin so we don’t do that in dis household

jisung is highly intimidated by you (⌣_⌣”)

as in he likes likes you but he doesn’t dare act on his feelings in any way

so renjun and haechan took it upon themselves to play cupid a horrible decision really

and it seems that their attempts at dr. love only ended up in disasters

locked you together in a rollercoaster together? jisung threw up on both your laps (✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ

ice skating together? jisung stumbled into you, knocking you over so you left the ring with a bruised chin and sore knees and jisung : (シ_ _)シ

arcade hangout? your competitive self almost made jisung cry you not only ignored him but also kicked his ass in every. single. game

so no one had any expectations when they arranged a horror movie night and invited you to sit beside jisung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you were awfully quiet since the start of the movie which wasn’t necessarily unusual but ya know

but the atmosphere was getting tenser and tenser and you just knew some kind of jumpscare was coming

and survival comes first!!!! so you clutch onto the nearest thing

jisung’s hand ding dong correct!!!!

and you also bury your face in his shoulder subtly (っ⇀⑃↼)っ

you, shitting your pants : not a word to the others

jisung, also shitting his pants : not one

but uh even though jisung is awkward and everything, he isn’t complaining!!

he finds comfort in your death grip and you’re also his crush so DOUBLE WIN!!! !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

ofc the others notice but they don’t say a word because ✨ you’re cute ✨ so they leave the teasing for later thought you escaped? not a chance beach

and to make it all even more embarrassingly cute, you fall asleep like that

and you wake up the next morning tucked in jisung’s side with a sore neck, clammy hands and 200 notifs on your phone with pictures of you and jisung sleeping from every possible angle (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

and with a soon-to-be boyfriend too

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bytheangell · 4 years ago

Text

Truth Be Told

( @shadowhunterbingo square: Two-Person Love Triangle) (Read on AO3)

Magnus can pinpoint nearly every moment he made a decision that went entirely against what he’s supposed to be doing right now. He was aware of each of them as they happened, but he did them anyway, bringing himself closer and closer to the point of no return he faces now.

What he’s supposed to be doing is getting close to Alec Lightwood. Close enough to get him to slip up and share any information about his father, Robert, that might help Magnus and his team build a case for a formal indictment against him. Magnus made some social media accounts under the alias ‘Bane’ with the tried-and-true plan of bonding with Alec over some shared interests, then gently prodding for more personal info once they were ‘friends’. He meant to stay detached, uninvested in Alec outside of his usefulness in potentially taking down Robert. It was meant to be easy because Magnus couldn’t imagine there were many redeeming qualities about a doubtlessly repellant brat raised by the Lightwoods.

What Magnus should have done was pull himself the moment he noticed he was starting to develop feelings. Or the moment he started casually reading up on archery because Alec mentioned it was a hobby of his. Or the moment he stopped pushing Alec to talk about his dad because Alec was uncomfortable with the topic. Or the moment he realized the only person he’d been messaging daily for the past few months, more than his own family, or his boss, or even his best friends, was Alec.

What Magnus actually did was allow himself to fall for Alexander entirely, growing fonder with every conversation they had, becoming more endeared with every new detail he learned about Alec, like his volunteer hours at a local youth club, or his basic knowledge of medicine from helping his sister study for med school and how he gets a constant stream of caffeine from his brother’s coffee truck.

And what Magnus does now is take the empty seat next to Alec where he sits at the bar while his friends dance to some mediocre DJ. He says hi, and makes small talk, and flirts like he has no idea who Alec is - because as far as Alec knows this is the first time they’ve ever spoken.

“Sorry,” Alec says, making a face at the sip of Magnus’ whiskey he tries. “I’m just not a big drinker.”

There goes his plan of getting Alec drunk enough to spill the beans on his dad’s private dealings. Magnus should be disappointed but isn’t surprised to find that he’s not, not really. He can be honest enough with himself to admit the ‘plan’ was just an excuse to risk meeting Alec face-to-face: to hear the voice he only imagined for so many months and appreciate the occasional nervous stutters and the flush that creeps high on Alec’s cheekbones when Magnus compliments him.

Magnus grins. “Well, lucky for you I am, which means I know there’s something out there for everyone. We just need to find yours.”

The two of them have an immediate spark. It’s undeniable, and the conversation flows so easily that Magnus loses track of time entirely until Alec’s friends come back to see if he wants to leave, and he tells them to go without him. The conversation is wonderful but it’s the moments that Alec smiles, the ones where he laughs freely and lets go almost in spite of himself, that Magnus loves the most.

Everything seems to be going well until Magnus starts to notice Alec talking less and less as the night goes on. Finally, Alec sighs, and Magnus allows his current story to trail off at the sight of the frown on Alec’s face.

“Is everything alright?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t… I shouldn’t be doing this. It isn’t fair to you,” Alec says suddenly.

Magnus raises an eyebrow at that. “What isn’t?”

Alec hesitates. “It’s going to sound stupid, but… there’s this guy I like. Someone I met online.”

Oh. Magnus shouldn’t feel the sinking, crushing disappointment he does at that moment. After all, this isn’t meant to be a real date. He shouldn’t even have the feelings he does for Alec. This should be good, it should mean he can just get whatever information he can on Robert and leave with no guilt. Because of course, Magnus isn’t the only person Alec’s friends with online. Of course, Alec’s meeting and flirting with other people.

“That doesn’t sound stupid. People meet online all the time,” Magnus says, trying to sound nonchalant. He doesn’t remember Alec ever mentioning anyone, but maybe they weren’t as close as Magnus let himself hope.

“Yeah, but you’re… well, I mean, look at you. You’re gorgeous, and you’re here, and I should want to give that a chance. I’ve never even met Bane in person, and he probably doesn’t even like me back - we aren’t actually dating or anything, but-”

Oh. Magnus can practically feel the swoop in his chest at the realization that Alec can’t bring himself to get invested in him because… well, because he’s already invested in Magnus. He just doesn’t know it.

Magnus’ disappointment shifts suddenly to elation, and then just as quickly to guilt. He barely hears any of Alec’s continued rambling explanation, the words drowned out by his thoughts which now swirl with a panicked rush of possible responses to this unexpected turn of events. He should leave. He should take the easy out and leave. He should walk away before he says or does anything he’ll regret later. Hell, he should go home and delete the accounts and pretend that none of this ever happened.

There are a million and one things he should do… but none of them are the one thing he wants to do.

And he hasn’t done anything he should’ve since this all started, so why start now?

“-anyway, I’m sorry. But I’m sure you don’t deserve to try and date someone who’ll spend half their time hung up on someone else,” Alec finishes.

There’s only one thing he can do that leaves him any chance of ever seeing Alec again - and he very much wants to see Alec again.

The decision Magnus makes next is impulsive. Magnus pulls out his phone, brings up his Bane account, and looks over at Alec with what he hopes is a look of genuine remorse. “No, I’m sorry. And I’d really, really like it if you gave me a chance to explain, but I understand if you don’t want to.”

Magnus watches the confusion on Alec’s face shift to recognition, then surprise, then a flash of anger as tense hands push his phone back across the bar top to him, teeth clenched as he speaks.

“Glad you understand,” Alec says, his voice suddenly cold - and god does it hurt Magnus to hear that shift in tone, however deserved it is. Magnus can only sit and watch as Alec pushes his stool back to leave, then pauses and turns back to Magnus, the anger back in place. “No, you know what? I do want to know. I want to know what explanation you could possibly have for not telling me who you are when you knew... “ Alec’s words trail off as he takes a deep breath to collect himself, but doesn’t continue talking as he sits back down to wait for an explanation.

“I want to start off by saying that everything I ever said to you, I meant. All our conversations, everything I told you - from how terrible I am at playing string instruments to my fear of drowning - none of that was an act. But... when I started talking to you, it was because I was hoping to get information on your father.”

“My father,” Alec huffs out a laugh. “Of course. I should’ve known someone like you would never actually want to talk to me-”

“But that’s just it - I did! I do. I realized ages ago I wasn’t going to get anything out of you about Robert, but I didn’t care. I just liked talking to you, and getting to know you, and… you. I like you, Alexander.”

“Forgive me if I’m finding it difficult to take anything you say at face value right now,” Alec mutters.

“That’s fair,” Magnus says, sighing. Maybe he should let things sit for a day or two, and try messaging Alec to explain once the anger settles a bit. That’s if Alec doesn’t block him the first chance he gets. Either way, it’s obvious nothing he says now is going to matter. “I should leave.”

Magnus doesn’t wait for a response before he’s already standing up to go, his back turned to Alec when Alec speaks again.

“What information did you want about my dad?”

Magnus shakes his head, still not turning back around. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Alec insists. “Because if you haven’t figured it out yet, he and I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. Or anything at all.”

Magnus winces. “Yeah, I gathered as much.”

Alec frowns. “You did, didn’t you?” Alec’s entire face scrunches up in concentration as he thinks back on something. “I told you I didn’t like talking about him weeks ago and you dropped it, and never brought him up again. Why would you do that?” Some of the harshness is gone from Alec’s tone again.

“Because I realized talking about your dad upset you, and I didn’t want to do that,” Magnus explains. Against his own better judgment Magnus latches on to the small bit of hope he feels from the subtle shift in mood.

“Because you like me,” Alec repeats, not quite a question, but the disbelief behind his words prompts Magnus to answer all the same.

“Yes,” he says, the single word pleading, willing Alec to believe him.

There’s a long stretch of silence and it takes all of Magnus’ self-control to not break it. Instead, he hovers where he still stands next to his chair.

“What if I help you?” Alec finally says. “What if I tell you whatever you need to know about my dad?”

Magnus sits back down abruptly, mostly out of shock. “What?”

“Robert isn’t a good person. He doesn’t tell me a lot, but I hear things. I’ve seen some stuff snooping around places I shouldn’t have. I’ll help, as much as I can,” Alec continues.

Magnus should be thrilled. It’s everything he could’ve hoped for when he started, even if it isn’t how he imagined getting it. But the idea of the information coming at the cost of the friendship and connection he’s made with Alec over the past few months leaves an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“But I need something from you in return,” Alec adds, causing Magnus’ gaze to turn up from where he’d been looking down at his hands to avoid looking into Alec’s eyes.

“What’s that?” Magnus asks, his curiosity piqued.

“There’s nothing between us until after I tell you what you want to know. Once you have what you need on Robert… if you’re lying and this is all just a ploy to get information from me, then you have to promise to leave without a word: delete your online accounts, and I never want to hear from you again.”

“And if I’m not lying?”

Alec takes a deep breath. “Then you promise to take me on a proper first date and we start over, with all the cards on the table.”

Magnus smiles. “That,” he agrees easily. “Is a promise I can absolutely make, darling.”

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #ShadowhunterBingo #hmdiscord #tsc #shadowhunters #human AU #i wasn't sure how to tackle this one but I think I made it work!#long post #elle writes a few deadbeat lines

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chilling-seavey · 4 years ago

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Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 15

A/N ...and a conclusion.

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

I didn’t move for a moment, frozen in stiff shock. That couldn’t be true. Jonah had been helping me this whole time…coming over when I called and helping me leave the state…

I slowly tucked the papers into a neat stack with realization and turned casually out the passenger side window, trying to wrap my head around what I just pieced together. I hoped it wasn’t true. I prayed to whatever God above that it wasn’t true. I felt like I was going to be sick. My wife was dead in the trunk of my car and the hand who did it to her was driving me two states over on the run. There was nothing around us for miles so it’s not like I could run for help if I wanted to and even still…would I want to call the cops on my best friend? He didn’t when we thought it was me. But yet, everything he ever said to be the prior twenty-fours hours had been complete lies to set me up into believing this trap.

He had been all too calm.

Jonah sang softly from beside me, the music playing quietly through the car as we drove down the desert highway. He had his sunglasses on and his hat, shading his face from the sun and from me. I couldn’t look at him without wanting to be sick with dread.

“Jonah.” I finally spoke shakily.

“Yeah?” he answered innocently.

I kept my eyes out the side window, curling the corner of the letter under my finger nervously as I fought with myself to confront him. My leg was shaking and I pressed my hand down on my thigh to try and calm the habit. He turned down the music and I could feel him glancing over at me a few times before focusing back on the road. I took a small inhale before whispering to the window, “You did it, didn’t you? You killed her.”

There was a silence. A suffocating tense silence that pressed down on my chest until I swear I was going to choke. The music turned off and the only sounds for miles was the desert winds whooshing past the car. I closed my eyes tightly and resting my fist against my mouth in anticipation for his reply. His hesitation only made it worse.

“Tell me the truth, Jonah.” I ordered as strongly as I could but even I could hear my voice shaking. “What was this letter about?”

Jonah’s hands gripped tighter to the wheel and I heard him let out a strong sigh, “She just blocked my number.”

“Why did she block you?”

A pause.

“Jonah.”

“Because I was in love with her, bro.”

That certainly got my attention. I whipped my head around to look at him, eyes furrowed in his direction, “The fuck do you mean you were in love with her?”

“I loved her. And you were a shitty fucking husband, dude.” Jonah tisked. He adjusted the blue cap on his head, “I could have treated her so much better than you and I told her that but she didn’t like that.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I processed the information my best friend was telling me. I turned back out the window and watched the desert speed past us along the empty highway.

“But did you kill her?” I repeated my initial question.

There was a pause.

His silence was my answer.

“You did.” I breathed.

“Don’t freak out, okay?”

“Don’t freak out? Jonah, what the- what the fuck-”

Jonah huffed as if I was being a complete vexation. God, dear reader, I didn’t know what to think. I tried to form some sort of response, some sort of sentence to figure out why to did it but my lungs had abandoned me and I could only muster a few random panicked words.

“Why- I just- You- She- I- Why- Why did you- Oh my God- Jonah-”

The car slowed down as Jonah pulled onto the dusty dirt shoulder of the freeway. I glanced back at him as he put my car in park and got out, his jaw clenched stiffly and his face stone. I watched him step to the back door and he tugged his bag towards him before shuffling through it and right to the bottom. My chest was heaving with emotion and I swear I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Neither of us spoke.

And I especially didn’t when I saw the pistol he pulled from his bag.

He slammed the backdoor and walked around the car to my side, angling the gun right towards me through the window, “Get the fuck out.”

I froze.

“Get the fuck out of the car, Daniel.” Jonah repeated darkly.

My trembling hand found the handle and I stumbled out of the car and into the hot desert heat, the papers dropping to the floor of the car and the two cell phones and the denim jacket tumbling out onto the hot sand. The buzz of insects could be heard faintly in the distance between the dry patches of grass that dotted the landscape behind Jonah and beyond the paved highway. I raised my hands up slowly, not taking my eyes off my best friend and the gun in his hand.

“Jonah…” I spoke slowly, cautiously.

This had to be a fucking dream.

“I didn’t want it to come to this.” Jonah said darkly, his voice shaking with emotion.

“We can work something out.” I assured him quietly, now just trying to save my own life.

“Shut up.”

I swallowed thickly, eyes dropping to my cell phone that had fallen beside the feet in my haste to get out of the car.

“Don’t.” Jonah lunged forward and I gasped as he grabbed my arm and yanked me around so he was standing between the car and myself, giving me a shove away. His aggression made me stumble over my feet and the slight decline off the side of the highway shoulder and I fell backwards on the desert ground.

Have you ever joked around with your best friend about loving them so much you’d take a bullet for them? Cruelest twist of fate of my fucking life.

I stared up at Jonah from where I was splayed out on the ground, staring into the end of the pistol and the reflection of my own face in his sunglasses.

“I loved her.” Jonah said sharply. “I loved her more than you did.”

“Jonah…”

He cut me off, “I-I told her not to marry you! I told her you’re too in love with music to give a shit about her but she didn’t listen. I had to prove it to her so I sent you all that work to look over on your honeymoon. I’m not a fucking idiot, Daniel, I could have done it myself; but she had to see that you would put her second to your work if it came to it. Dumb woman didn’t even care. Not even when I met you at home after your flight and spoke to her in the studio that night and gave her all the proof that I loved her more than you.”

Jonah tisked distastefully and shook his head.

“You fought so loudly in there I could have sworn it was over…that you two were over…but she told me that she…that she loved you more than anyone in the whole goddamn world no matter what and I could never come close.”

I felt my chest tighten at that, tears choking me up in the back of my throat as he spoke of her last words and her last moments.

“We could have been happy together, she and I. I could have given her a nice fucking life. I fucking hated seeing her with you…especially seeing how fucking miserable you treated her. So I told her…if she didn’t want me, she couldn’t have anyone.” Jonah said through his teeth. “And she tried to run. And she set off the security alarm but I am the only other person outside of your family who knows the code to turn the alarm off and delete the tapes. It’s her birthday. Of course, I was going to remember her fucking birthday.”

I tensed at his confession, feeling the rough sand and heat of the desert burning through my skin and my clothes as I laid under his control.

“I knew where the knives were. I had this plan for weeks…ever since she first blocked my number before the wedding. She had one last chance to change her mind…to be happy with me and she blew it. And she begged for her life. And she cried for you. And I watched her sweet face fall into the hands of death like an angel.”

I couldn’t hold back the sob that fell from my lips.

“Then you came out. You heard her scream so you came to check on her but I couldn’t let you see me so in the shadows I knocked you out on the side of the piano and left you there, setting up the perfect scene to make it look like you did it with no traces of my own. No security camera tapes, no unfamiliar fingerprints, nothing. And I could have gotten away with it if you…if you weren’t so…so fucking persistent.”

The pistol was trembling in his fist, still directed right at my face.

“Jonah.” I breathed shakily.

“My name is still clear though. You’re the only one who they’re looking for right now, especially after you just told Corbyn she was dead…Jack knows too. The cops are probably tracing your phone right now. They’re probably on their way to lock you the fuck up right now.” Jonah licked his lips and took a breath, “But you’re gonna talk.”

“N-No I won’t.” I rushed out. “I swear I won’t. W-We can set up someone else…we can figure it out, Jonah, I promise.”

Jonah cocked the gun and I scrambled a bit farther back over the coarse sand, scraping my skin over the gravel in my futile attempt to get away.

“Jonah, please, bro, I swear I’ll help you. I-I forgive you-”

“I don’t need your forgiveness.” Jonah walked down the slight embankment to where I was dropped back over the ground and he stood right over me until the sun was blocked by his body and cast a shadow over me.

He was my best friend in the world, my business partner, and we had gone through most of our lives together but looking at him in that moment, I didn’t even recognise him.

“Jonah.” I spoke slowly, cautiously, licking my dry lips under the scorching heat of the desert sun. “Please, bro. Please…we can work something out, I swear.”

“Shut the fuck up, Seavey.” Jonah snapped loudly, his voice nearly echoing across the vast expanse of bare land around us. He dropped his volume as if he was convincing himself, “Fuck it. At least this way I’ll get your shares of the label and a clean slate.”

He was breathing hard as he moved closer and stepped on my hands to keep me from moving, the toe of his designer shoes pressing light indents into the back of my hands as he pushed them against the rough ground. I leaned away from him and the stare of the pistol habitually, praying for any sort of miracle. The freeway was perfectly empty and there wasn’t a car in sight but my own. There was no way out of this.

I let my gaze linger on the closed trunk, swallowing back the tears that threatened to fall at the image of her tucked up like a science experiment in the equipment case. The dust was burning my eyes but I didn’t doubt that the drop that finally trickled down my cheek was an honest heartbroken tear.

If she cried for me, I was going to cry for her too.

“What a Romeo and Juliet love story.” Jonah spoke, his voice dripping in taunting darkness, as he bent down slowly over top of me.

The cold metal of the mouth of the pistol touching my forehead instinctively made my eyes close tightly. The pumping of my heart echoed in my ears and the scorching desert sun dripped sweat down my brow to mix in with the salty perspiration of fear.

“Daniel Seavey killed his wife…” Jonah pressed it harder there, enough to make a whimper fall from my throat, “and then killed himself.”

What do you think of in your last moments? People often say you see your life flashing before your eyes or you see a bright light but, for me, all I saw was Avalon.

Nearly twenty-four hours since I found her. Nearly forty since she died on my studio floor alone and in fear. My world died that night and the only positive that I could possibly reach for was that at least I wouldn’t live in a universe without her for too long.

And yet, thrown there on the side of the freeway with my best friend holding a loaded gun to my head, all I could think about was her. I could hear her laugh and feel the warm of her skin and I couldn’t wait to see her again; to be able to stroke her soft hair and smell her sweet perfume and to be able to tell her how much I really did lov

-(The End)-

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee @randomlimelightxxx @stuffofseaveyy @hopinglimelight @tempus-ut-luceant @br4nd1s @xkelsev @hiya-its-amber @the-girl-who-cried-wolf

#🔪#im scared to post this #im second guessing everything #maybe this is stupid #daniel seavey #jonah marais #jack avery #zach herron #corbyn besson #why dont we #why dont we fanfic #daniel seavey fanfic

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cottoncandyjester · 4 years ago

Text

Hey guys im sorry I haven't been posting, honestly tumblr is making it hard to. every single story I write tumblr crashes then deletes it so it's been HIGHLY frustrating...guess I need to invest in a laptop or a better phone

Sorry this was so long I always want the boys' back stories to be only 2 parts

This story contains: death, torture, abuse, toxic relationships, murder, violent themes

"you're too soft! They are sinners theodore why are you being so damn sensitive"

Theo winced at the punch his father landed which caused him to stumble back his back hitting the table which held their latest victim, a young woman that theo cleaned up and dressed in his mother's clothes, he didn't like the sight of her all bloody and mangled it made his heart sting.

Theo never helped to Kill any of these women, only cleaned them up and made sure they looked beautiful in death it was his way if asking for forgiveness.

When he was ten he idolized his father but it's been two years since he caught his father and been training under him to take his place and all that love vanished he found himself feeling nothing but hate and disgust for his father, what made matters worse was the fact that his mother had to take half the brunt of his father's anger.

"I won't do this anymore, you're wrong. Women aren't devils, mother is an angel and I wont hurt her"

Theo's harsh remark earned him yet another punch in the face this one knocking him down as he spat out blood the metallic taste making him sick to his stomach.

"you're a damn fool boy, I'll make you see her filth"

With that his father left him in the attic to starve for the night which was always a common occurrence. As he laid back on the floor the boy let out a dry chuckle.

"Just a little more...then you'll be the one burning in hell father"

Theodore felt everything go black and it wasn't long until he had passed out soon waking back up in bed with his mother caring for his wounds. He could smell her sweet perfume and hear her soft humming, something about those things made his heart flutter in the purest of ways.

"you should be careful theo, you know making him angrier will only result in pain"

"it's okay, we'll leave together one day..just me and you.."

There was silence after that and for a while things were okay, the family was quiet during dinner and once it got late theo figured his father would have went to bed forgiving him for his outburst in the morning.

Theo woke to the sound of two metal objects clashing together, the sound was enough to stir him awake though when he tried to move he realized he was tied up against a chair. That clashing noise he heard was his father sharpening a few knives, the sight made theo's blood run Cold.

"f-father?"

"god told abraham to kill his son, and abraham was about to do it like a loyal sheep. God will make you do awful things theodore and as a man we must do them"

Theo frantically struggled against the ropes binding him only feeling more and more stressed as his father stepped closer and closer thing soft steps of his shoes making theo feel like he had to puke.

What's going to happen to me?

Am I going to die?

Theo felt his father press the tip of the blade pressed softly against his forehead on the left side of his face, the cool metal only brought theo to reality more, his father was going to kill him cause god said so.

"i-i know we are nothing alike but please-"

"we are absolutely nothing alike! You are exactly like your mother a sissy little housewife! You were never going to be a good man or husband! When I asked God for a son I thought he would send me one I could be proud of!"

Rage fuelled theo, he wasnt sure why but something about what his father said made him want to scream, his father was wrong... absolutely wrong.

"I'll be a perfect husband, and a better Father than you"

As soon as he said those words theo felt the sharp pain of his father pushing the blade into his skin earning a sharp inhale of breath trying not to show too much weakness. Theo kept thinking about his mother and how in a way he was protecting her, their goal were to run away safely together.

"we might have one thing in common theodore, you have a devil in you just like me..it's time to show you just how tainted you are"

With that theo felt a harsh intense pain as his father dragged his blade along the boy's face earning screams coming from him as he thrashed and tried kicking but his father pressed his knee onto the boy's legs now carving his skin off in such a slow and unbearable way that it was driving theo crazy

"accept your sins theodore! This is your punishment for being unloyal!"

Theodore couldn't stop screaming as the knife raked down his face roughly cutting a large chunk of his skin clean off, the pain was so great he was close to fainting but his father came prepared and injected him with an adrenaline shot.

"p-please f-father please please please..."

Theodore at this point didnt know what he was begging for, maybe death? The overwhelming taste and smell of his own blood was making him sick and not to mention there was a lot of blood pouring down his face.

I'm dying.. god has forsaken me

"may you be reborn as a perfect child next time"

Theo kept his head down but felt a soft kiss on his head before hearing footsteps walk away from him before the door to the attic closed, his father left him to die!

Theo swayed side to side hoping to get free, if he could just get to his father's desk and grab a knife though without his glasses seeing things far away was near impossible though he could see the shape of the desk.

"mother needs me, I can't die.."

Theo grunted in pain as he fell forward which wasn't his plan but he'll take it, with every fiber of his being he crawled and scooted along the ground towards the desk before seeing a knife handle over the edge of the desk. Thankfully his legs were tied just his arms so with some embarrassing attempts to stand of even kneel before turning around to grab the knife with his hand.

Before he could cut himself free he heard banging on the attic door before a crash, the sound was enough to startle him into cutting the palm of his hand and dropping the knife

"argh! I-it hurts!"

Soon the attic door opened and rushing towards him was his loving mother, her frantic questions and worrying about him made him feel far better especially when she untied him from the chair.

"I'm leaving tonight theo, my fiancee is waiting for me outside"

"t-then let's go mother! Now is the perfect time to go!"

There was a tense silence after that as theo felt his mother bandage his wound up, his mother was hiding something and he didn't like it.

"w-we have a little girl and he's very protective of her and well with how your face looks now you'll scare her and I don't want to bring any baggage from my pa-"

Theodore felt as if his head was spinning, what was she saying? He did everything for her he almost died for this woman and she saw him as baggage to toss away before going to her new family.

"y-you're going to leave me here? J-just like that?! I protected you from him! I made sure he never hurt you! Were you ever going to bring me with you?!"

"keep your voice down theo, please calm down you're scaring me-"

"I'm scaring you?! I'm the one scaring you?! How could you?! I'm your child! I love you!"

He watched his mother look down shamefully and slowly back away clearly afraid of what will her next words do to him. Theodore was feeling a little unstable at the moment, his own mother just betrayed him can he truly trust no one in his life?

"your eyes just...look just like him. I can't theo I'm so sorry I can't it's too painful for me.. you're too much like him"

That was the thing that broke theo all together, it was like his brain just snapped and no clear thought came just pure anger and pain. How could she think that?! Theo thought he was nothing like his father absolutely nothing!

"no! I'm nothing like him! Nothing! He's abusive and a horrible man how could you say that!? I thought you loved me but you're just like him-yeah you're like him not me! I'm pure! A good person"

Theo couldn't stop himself, before he knew it he had grabbed the knife he dropped earlier, the large blade held tightly in his hand and scaring the one person he thought he can trust.

"w-why do you want to leave me? You're just embarrassed of me..you don't want me around cause you hate me"

"no no no baby I love you I just-"

Theo swung the knife slashing his mother's arm, hearing her cry out in pain made him only smile as he gazed at her fearful expression. His sense of reason was vanished and all he wanted now was to show everyone how much they hurt him

"maybe if you were a better mother I wouldn't have gotten hurt all the time, maybe if you weren't too busy being a good wife instead of a good mother I wouldn't be in such pain!"

"t-theo please I just-"

"why couldn't I just have a normal family?! I prayed for one! So why!?"

Theo slashed at his mother again and again over and over sloppily slashing at her without caring about where he aimed. He was far more focused on releasing all this pain and betrayal he felt

"why doesn't anyone want me?! Why don't you want me! I want you so what's wrong with me?! Why am I so broken?!"

Theo ignored the sobs and begging for her to stop, they were not processing clear enough to him he just wanted to hurt them to hurt them in ways they hurt him. Her thrashing soon stopped but it wasnt enough for theo, he moved ontop of her now raising the blade and slamming it down inside her chest his eyes glossed over as he did so.

"I'm not like him, I'm nothing like him! I'll be a good father! A good husband! I'll never abandon my family! Never! Never ! Never!"

The knife slipped I his hand and when he tried to catch it he grazed his hand before hearing the knife clatter onto the ground, theo panted heavily before looking at his hands seeing hands were lightly bruised from gripping the knife so hard, he then looked down at his mother and her horror stuck face.

"look at what father did, I told you we should have left before...it's okay I'll protect you"

Theo reached out taking the scarf his mother wore before putting it on himself before pressing it to his nose and taking a deep inhale, the sweet scent gave him shivers.

The sight of his dead mother made the boy tear up but he honestly didn't realize he was the one who had did such a thing, it was something he refused to accept. Now gripping the knife he once had before he creeped down the attic stairs each step more and more anxiety fuelling, from the quiet sounds it seemed like his father was asleep.

Theo had never acted out so violently than when he saw his father sleeping soundly in bed, once again much like before he had completely snapped now walking over and plunging the knife deep into his father's side earning a painted grunt along with his father's eyes to snap open

This caused theo to panic and he did the first thing he could think of which was to bite his victim's ear using that time to shove the blade into his father's chest before biting his ear off and spitting it onto the ground in a feral snarling mess.

"t-there's your demon... y-you're just like me"

"I'm nothing like you! Nothing!"

Theo gripped the knife blade shoving it deeper til it became stuck and his father stopped breathing, what struck theo as odd was the lack of struggling..didn't his father want to live? That escaped his mind as he tried wiggling the blade out of the corpse only to whine lightly at how stuck it was

"heavy, too heavy"

Theodore decided his next plan was to change out of his bloody clothes except for his scarf of course and to turn on the gas stove as high it can possibly go, he used his bedroom window to escape since his mother's boytoy was still waiting for her outside.

One match, it took one match to burn the place down starting the fire in his bedroom and letting it spread. A few minutes after theo jumped out the window the house roared to live now completely on fire.

Theodore only 12 years old had killed his parents and burned the place down, he had no one else to turn to no family or anything so he turned to his local church. They sent him to a boarding school where he grew up and found a passion for medicine as well as helping others.

His dark past always haunted him, he was known as the boy whose family died horrible deaths. There were always rumors about what happened that night some say that his father killed everyone before burning the place and stabbing himself others think that his mother's lover killed them all in an angry rage. Theo would always just shrug and laugh it off thanking God that he's alive

Those dark desires of having a family only grew as he grew older, it became a twisted obsession that festered stronger and stronger by the time he was 18 he was already waiting for marriage..after all a good husband waits for the perfect bride.

"theo? Hey theo? Hello earth to theo?"

Theodore snapped awake only to see his sweet darling staring at him worriedly, he must have fallen asleep in his office again. Theo simply smiled as he stood from his chair

"what's wrong?"

"well, dinner's ready have a good dream or something?"

Theo chuckled softly before running his fingers through his hair trying to come up with a suitable answer

"just dreaming about the past my angel, though I should focus on the future with you after all the past is the past..."

#yandere imagines #yandere #yandere ocs #yandere oc x reader #tw death #tw toxic behavior #tw yandere #tw religious themes

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pandoraborn · 4 years ago

Text

CotB deleted scene 2

Characters: c!Tommy, c!Wilbur Word count: 1755 words Content: drugging mention, death mention, abuse mention, violence, wilbur and tommy have a conversation,

-----

[setting: cabin.]

It’d been a few hours since Ranboo left for the SMP to meet with Tubbo. Tommy is anxious. He hates that he’s left alone with two unconscious men, and the silence seems to endlessly stretch out, morphing into some twisted darkness. The potions of weakness he’d used on Wilbur and Dream give no indication as to when they’ll wear off, and he’s sat twiddling his thumbs, trying to ignore the slow passage of time. It’s crawling by too slowly, and yet too quickly all the same; Ranboo’s presence right now would be most welcome. It’d at least help Tommy feel like he’s not sitting in some cold, familiar void. The potions are working enough that the men aren’t stirring, and hopefully won’t for awhile yet.

Tommy hopes they’re doing the right thing.

He can already imagine the angered reactions from Wilbur and Dream when they come to. He can already hear them yelling, and he’s shrinking back into himself, already working himself into a panic. He’s so used to people yelling at him, he’s way too used to people using him as their verbal punching bag; the imagined reactions probably wouldn’t be too far from reality.

Tommy sits by Wilbur’s bedside, leaning against it and curling his fingers into the fabric of the sheets, staring at Wilbur’s face. Even in sleep, Wilbur looks stressed. He doesn’t seem to rest anymore, what with him always thinking and moving and planning. Even now, Tommy can’t piece together the full plan, even though he’s been given enough information to know exactly what they’re doing. This entire situation is an enigma, and Tommy can’t bring himself to hate it or them as much as he knows he should.

Even though Wilbur’s lips are curled downward, his brow scrunched, and wrinkles are on display for Tommy to count, he still pities Wilbur more than himself. Sure, Tommy had been through hell, but he can’t imagine the hardships Wilbur’s been through in the past, and even recently.

It’s enough that his own anxiety fades just slightly. He can sympathize with the hell Wilbur’s been through, and the group even recently learned that Wilbur had spent years in whatever limbo he’d been stuck in. Years in that world, months in this one. It’s a hard concept for Tommy to wrap his mind around, but he can’t let it go either. It’s hard to imagine being stuck for years in a prison of death, unable to leave or rest. His own two months pale in comparison. Somehow, his concern for Wilbur always seems to outweigh everything else. Where Tommy wants to blame him for everything, he can’t, because Wilbur doesn’t deserve all the blame.

Carefully, Tommy lifts a trembling hand to brush a few curls out of Wilbur’s face. The actions seems to bring a tiny bit of relief to the man; his face relaxes. Tommy exhales softly before pulling his hand away.

“Wil?” Tommy tilts his head to the side as he whispers the name, wanting to gauge how responsive Wilbur is. When there’s nothing from Wilbur, Tommy slumps against the bed and closes his eyes, taking a moment to listen to the man breathe.

“Wil, I feel like I need someone to tell me it’s going to be okay. I’m too anxious and shit for all of this, I’m scared of getting yelled at and I’m scared of getting hurt. Part of me is even scared of you, or your anger, I don’t know anymore. I still don’t get it, man, no matter how many times all of you explain it to me.”

His hand finds Wilbur’s, and Tommy tugs it out from under the blanket. “Everything and everyone is fucked, and I’m stuck in the middle, again. I just want to find some sort of peace, man. I’m tired, and you’re one of the few people I feel like I can trust anymore.” He isn’t sure he means that, but he wants Wilbur to hear it anyway.

“I know.”

Tommy jumps at the spoken words. Eyes flying open, he stares at Wilbur, who’s staring sleepily at him. “You’re not supposed to be awake,” Tommy says flatly. He considers yanking his hand back, but decidedly leaves it there; Wilbur’s hand is warm and it feels nice.

“You think drugging me was going to work all night? Nice trick Tommy, but I’m stronger than one half-assed potion.” Wilbur scoffs as he shifts his position. He doesn’t pull his hand from Tommy’s though, rather, he gives it a squeeze. “If you’re tired, why don’t you rest? I can make room on the bed.”

“You go back to sleep,” counters Tommy. “I’m not tired.”

“Come here.” Wilbur scoots away from the edge of his cot, leaving a tiny amount of room. Tommy takes advantage of it, settling in. He relaxes when Wilbur drapes the blanket over him, as well, before wrapping his arms around Tommy to keep him in place. Amazingly, this seems to free Tommy from any anxiety as well.

“Toms, listen. Sometimes we all do stupid shit. You do stupid shit, like this half-assed plan you and Ranboo made up.” Wilbur snorts. “It might’ve worked on Dream, but I’m not him. I’m still recovering from death, drugs don’t have the same effect on me. For example, I’m awake when I know I shouldn’t be.”

“You’re getting off track,” Tommy mutters. “I thought you were going to give me some grand speech about something, I don’t know.”

“I’m getting to that.” Wilbur pats Tommy on the cheek. “You say you trust me, but you really don’t, do you?”

“Should I?” Tommy rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I mean that honestly. Because I feel like I shouldn’t what with you being some evil mastermind and teaming with Dream, and the dragon, and even Ranboo, and I don’t know anymore. On the other hand, you’re alive, and you haven’t...”

“I haven’t actually hurt you,” Wilbur finishes. “Am I really some evil mastermind in your head?” He sounds more amused, rather than irritated. “I think I would prefer evil scientist rather than some high end villain. I’m not serious enough for that.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely evil scientist material.” Tommy nods. “I dunno. You scare me though. When you first came back, you were terrifying.”

“I came back to life to see you covered in blood. You had bruises and cuts all over you, child. How else was I supposed to react?”

“Uh, not threaten Dream? Or at least, do it far, far away from me so I didn’t have to see you act like that?”

Wilbur presses his hand to Tommy’s face. “You are so full of shit, Child. We were trapped in a tiny hot box, with lava. Where on earth would you have gone to hide? The tiny cube of water? Friendly reminder that the water was also boiling, and had you jumped in, you would’ve ended up with burns all over you, on top of what Dream had already d-”

“Stop, stop!” Tommy shoves at Wilbur, falling off the bed in the process. “I don’t want to hear anymore! I already know, Wilbur! He hurt me again. Just like he always has!” He remains on the ground, rolling onto his stomach to hide his face. “I hated everyone for letting it happen.” It’s embarrassing to have a tantrum like this. Tommy expects Wilbur to laugh at him or mock him. There’s a silence at first, lasting a few agonizingly long seconds.

“I know. Tommy, had I been there, I would have protected you. I would have done everything in my power to prevent Dream from hurting you. Unfortunately, I was helpless.” Tommy can feel Wilbur rubbing his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him. Wilbur doesn’t sound like he’s laughing, bringing another measure of relief. Maybe Wilbur actually does care.

“Why do I not believe you were that helpless?”

“Ranboo tried to ask for my help once,” Wilbur confesses. “He found a way to communicate with me, months ago. I just told him to keep trusting Dream, because I didn’t have the power to do anything more.”

“Wait.” Tommy sits up. “You’re going to have to explain that to me. Ranboo talked to you, not Ghostbur. How?”

Wilbur nods. “It was a spell, I don’t know what kind of spell, but it worked all the same. The world is full of ancient magics, and he is enderman. Anyway, he wanted answers, he wanted me to do something. But what use is a dead man?”

“Dream isn’t trustworthy,” Tommy grumbles, grabbing at the bed. He doesn’t want to talk about magic anymore. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, but how does one stop their mouth from running? Besides, Wilbur is gifting him with new information and perspectives he hadn’t considered before, and it’s helping a lot more than he wants to admit.

“Deep down inside, he’s a slightly better person than we know,” Wilbur says gently. He helps Tommy back onto the bed, then begins playing with his hair. Tommy melts at the attention. “Better in the sense that he knows what he’s doing now. He’s an awful person where you’re concerned, though. I know you’d rather he wasn’t here, but we’re all stuck with him. If not for him, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish as much as I did, neither would Ranboo. He is helping us get somewhere.”

“Part of me wants to forgive him,” Tommy admits. “But I don’t know if that’s pressure from you two, or just me wanting to put it all behind us for the sake of this new future you all want. Maybe at the end of the day I don’t even care, I want an end too. I’m tired, and sleep doesn’t fix it.”

“I know. I have been watching you, Toms, before I was resurrected. I know what hell you’ve been through, and I wish I could’ve done something about it. I’m here now though, and I’m not letting anyone hurt you again, not even myself. You deserve better, and you deserve a break from the world at large. Just tell me when and how, and I will do everything I can to grant you that. Anything, for you.”

“Just... promise me when this is over, that we’ll still be together. Me, you, Ranboo...even Dream, I guess. As fucked up as we all are, we’re still a family.” Why is that thought in his mind? When the words are out of his mouth though, Tommy knows it’s true. He’s too attached to Wilbur and Ranboo anymore, and even Dream has a place among them, even if it’s mostly working with Wil and sticking with Ranboo. Tommy would have to admit that without someone to throw biting insults at, his life would feel a little more empty.

“Of course.” Wilbur grins. “None of us are getting left behind again. Like you said, we’re a family, and we’re going to remain as such. It’ll all be okay, I promise you. And if I break my promises, I give you permission to beat me up for it.”

“Good.” Tommy sighs quietly. “Sorry about... you know.”

“Drugging me? I’m not even mad, really. It’s the first actual rest I’ve gotten. It’ll be Dream you have to argue with, but I don’t think he’ll mind all that much either. He’s been tired lately.”

Tommy shrugs, figuring the conversation can end here. He’s feeling sleepy, and he can see the same expression on Wilbur’s face. Maybe a small nap wouldn’t hurt either of them. “I don’t say this often or at all, but.” he trails off again, biting on his tongue. He feels it, Tommy knows what he’s feeling. The surge of emotion is far too strong to ignore, it’s just something he can’t bring himself to actually say.

Wilbur seems to know what it is though. His grip around Tommy tightens, and he pulls Tommy closer.

“I know what you’re feeling, Toms. I know you’re struggling with everything, but I’m going to make it all right for you. You don’t have to trust me completely, you can trust Ranboo and Ranboo only, but I’m here now, and I’m not leaving you alone again.”

Wilbur cards his fingers through Tommy’s hair again; the teen relaxes into the man’s side, burrowing under the blankets as much as he can to get comfortable. Wilbur continues speaking. “And you don’t have to say anything more, either, Tommy. I love you too.”

#dream smp #dream smp fanfiction #cruelty of the beast deleted scenes #cotb deleted scene 2 #c!tommy #tommyinnit #c!wilbur #wilbur soot #tommy and wilbur have a long conversation #mention of drugging #mention of abuse #violence #long post #miishae writes #writer's note: this was harder to write than i anticipated #but i'm happy with it now

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years ago

Text

1646+1649. “Did I ever really matter to you?” “You left me!”

This was prompted by the lovely @definietlynotsatan! I hope you are in for some heavy angst XD

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: heavy angst, temporary character death (not really dead just deactivated))

‘Hey, tin-can, you know er… I mean, we work well together, right? And… and we… we spent quite a lot of time together and I really like your company. You know how you… Ah, phck. I… I just wanted tto say… I. Phck, Nines, I love you. I don’t think I have ever loved anything as much as I do now. We… I’m bad at this, but I really think there is something between us. And- And I wanted to tell you for quite some time now, but never had the balls to do so. Guess I finally got to it… Could you please say something? Anything?’

Nines remembered these words. Nines remembered how they stung in his heart like rusty nails. He remembered the blush on Gavin’s cheeks and his eyes jumping to his, then down again. He remembered how he had kneaded his hands in nervousness and how hopeful he had sounded stuttering like that. He remembered how everything in him had screamed to smile, to nod and to say these very same words back to him. He had wanted to see the blissful smile in the Detective’s face when he heard them. Would they have hugged? Kissed? Would Nines have the desire to spin the man around in circles and laugh? He knew Tina had. How would live be had he just said these three little words?

He certainly wouldn’t lay at home and cry into the cushions. He wouldn’t try to hide his feelings in the little heavily encrypted and partitioned folder reserved just for that and Gavin and fail terribly. It was a wonder it hadn’t been spotted yet. It was a wonder they didn’t yet knew what was going on. A part of him hoped they would find out. They would delete him, deactivate him and be done with it. He wouldn’t have to feel the loss of something he never had to begin with and never thought he would get. The other part had hoped Gavin would have put a bullet right through his head when he had walked away from him without another word. When he had stared at the human emotionless, turned and walked away. When he left the man. When he lost all he ever wanted. What would happen now? Nines didn’t want to think about it. If they didn’t find out about what had happened to him, then he would have to return to work. To a partner that likely hated him. RA9, Nines wanted the man to hate him. It had been his only chance to survive Nines’ mission. But it still hurt, and it still made Nines feel like his thirium pump would give in any second.

He stayed curled up on his sofa, even as his tears had run out and his pump normalised in rhythm. His mind was blissfully blank of thoughts and Nines was as close to non-existence as he could be in an active state until- There was a knock on the door. Nines startled, turning his head as if that would help making the offending person outside leave.

Of course, it didn’t.

‘Nines?’ Oh, no. ‘Nines, are you at home? Please, if you are, could you… Could you open the door, please?’ ‘Why?’, Nines asked loud enough he could be heard outside. ‘Listen, I am sorry. I might have misunderstood something or… Or not? I… I’m sorry if I offended you or-‘ ‘Go away!’, Nines screamed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes that had started leaking again. ‘I don’t want to talk to you!’

There was silence for a while and Nines had thought the man had actually left. But he was proved wrong, when Gavin spoke up just loud enough for him to hear it: ‘Did I ever really matter to you?’

It made his chest compress and his mind convulse around the hidden folder. He couldn’t. He should. He had to. But he couldn’t. So, he stood up and went to the door. He had to at least give his partner a hint. He opened the door to a man that had obviously been crying. Gavin’s eyes were red and swollen and together with his dark rings, he looked terrible, like a kicked dog left out in the rain. Nines swallowed. He knew he didn’t look just the tiniest bit how he felt, with the streaks of his own tears wiped away easily. He felt so sorry. But he couldn’t stop now. ‘Gavin.’ He nearly choked hearing his own voice speak so softly after hurting his best friend, his [love], like this. ‘Gavin, you are the most important person in my life. You mean the world to me.’

But instead of reassuring the man, Gavin’s face shifted from grief and desperation to anger. To fury and the simplest form of hate. ‘I am… I mean the… Do you even phcking realise what you say?’ Gavin took a step forwards and punched his finger against Nines’ chest. It could as well have been a knife. ‘You left me! I told you I phcking love you! And you left me! Left me standing like I… I don’t know… I- phck! Tell me here and now that you love me and maybe – just maybe – I’ll forgive you, but don’t even dare lie to me! I didn’t survive eighteen years in this job to not know when someone lies to me!’ Nines had to swallow again, trying to get rid of the tightness in his throat that wasn’t there, that couldn’t be there. He had to stay calm. He had to keep his stress levels in check. He hoped to whatever entity was in charge, that no one was listening in right now. ‘I can’t do that, Gavin’, he said as collected as he could, but his voice still wavered. ‘I can’t say the words you want to hear. I’m sorry.’

Gavin squinted his eyes and balled his hands to fists. ‘I phcking knew it’, he muttered to himself, already turning to leave. Nines shook his head. He wanted, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, but he should. How could he find a way around this, tell Gavin how he felt and at the same time keep himself, Gavin and the whole precinct safe? It was near impossible. But there was a small chance. A small chance that Gavin would understand, even if he was angry and couldn’t think rationally at the moment. He had to try.

Nines ran after him and lightly touched his shoulder. It was enough for the irate human to turn around and near punch him in the face for it. Nines could just about dodge the fist, then he clasped the next one incoming and held Gavin back. ‘Gavin. What I’m going to say to you right now is very important. I can be deactivated if you open the hatch on my neck and pull a small switch. I will open it for you. It is very important that you deactivate me after I said the words you want to hear.’ ‘Phcking hell what are you-‘ ‘Silence, I don’t have a lot of time. I was found and activated by a gang that wants to infiltrate the police. They inserted a program to listen for certain words. Love is one of them. I know that once they find out I made more than acquaintances with anyone, they will use me to pressure them into giving up secrets. Use me to gain more intel and to cover for them. I don’t want to be used that way and I definitely don’t want you involved in that. But for too long what you told me I wanted to say so badly to you. I… feel a lot for you. If you want me to say it, I will. But you have to deactivate me directly afterwards and bring me to Connor. He is the only one that can sort out the program they have inserted in me. Can you promise me that?’ ‘I-‘ ‘Gavin can you promise me that?’

‘Yes! Yes, jesus, I am… I… Well that certainly isn’t a lie…’ ‘It is not’, Nines sighed. ‘That’s why I kept away from everyone. I wanted to find out who they are and put an end to them myself, so I could stay with the DPD. With you. But I never found any clues. Maybe that’s because I’m the only link. Why should a tool know who holds it?’ Gavin looked up and at his fist that was still held by the android. Carefully he opened his hand and intertwined their fingers as Nines relaxed his slowly. ‘I promise you, Nines, I will do as you said. I will bring you to Connor and if he can’t help you, then I swear by my life we will find these phckers and put an end to this. Tell me what you have to say. Please.’

Nines nodded and lifted his free hand to his neck to open the hatch. Then he lifted Gavin’s hand and laid it into his open port directing him towards the switch. He shuddered as the human found it. His life was now in his hands. Figuratively and literally. He sighed and looked deep into Gavin’s green eyes.

‘There will never be someone I trust more than you, Gavin. The day we became friends was the day my life got meaning. I learned to feel just by being around him. I want to be near you, I want to hold you, kiss you and call you mine. I can only hope we see each other again after this. If not, I want to thank you for the time you gifted me, Gavin. My pump beats just for you. I love you.’ He could see how Gavin’s eyes began to fill with tears again. ‘Gavin’, he reminded him with urgency as he felt his communication systems connect to something. He pressed his eyes close. ‘Gavin, please. You have to press it. Now!’

Nines couldn’t wait any longer. The first status ping reached the connection and it wouldn’t take any longer for the channel to be free for communication. He lifted his hand onto Gavin’s, felt his warmth in his palm…

And pulled the switch for him.

A wooden roof. Plywood. Shed in darkness, but not entirely. There was a small light illuminating just the corner of the room and casting everything in a warm, cosy twilight. He turned his head. There was a nightstand next to the bed. Dust had gathered on top of it. He frowned. He was lying on something soft that gave a bit in to his weight and he was tucked into a roughly textured blanket.

‘Nines!’ He turned his head the other way only to be near attacked by someone falling on top of him trying to snake his arms around his neck. ‘Thank god, you are awake.’ Nines finally registered the voice and smell to Gavin Reed. ‘Gavin? How-‘ ‘Three months.’ Gavin let go of him to allow him to sit up. ‘You were deactivated for three months. It took us far too long to get to them. You haven’t been the only one to be inserted into the police force by them. But we could finally take them down. Only then I could safely reactivate you.’ Nines frown deepened, as he searched first for his secret folder and then, when he found it, for any sign of the surveillance program. ‘They are gone’, he murmured not quite believing it yet. ‘Yes. Yes, they are.’ Gavin smiled at him, taking his hand. ‘Connor made sure to delete every last mark from them.’ ‘I… thank you.’ Nines blinked a few times, carefully decrypting his files, looking out for any code snatching it away from him. Nothing happened. His feelings and memories were free for everyone to see and no one was there to jump on it. He smiled, refocussing his eyes on Gavin.

‘I would do so again and again’, the man reassured him. ‘Just… Why did you never tell me before?’ ‘I was afraid to lose you. I didn’t want to risk that. I never said anything I didn’t need to.’ The Detective smirked, shuffling over to sit down next to him. ‘Well, I got you in my attic, in the most romantic lightning you will get from me and it’s just us two. Anything you need to tell me now?’ Nines huffed amused and wrapped his arms around the human, holding him close in a strong embrace.

‘I love you.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Whooo the angst is strong with this one #Some criminal watching Nines' log: And now kiss

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tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years ago

Text

all was golden when the day met the night

chapter 5/5

read on ao3

start from the beginning

As the weekend wears on, Eddie feels more and more like himself. He chalks it up mostly to staying inside with Chris, Disney+, and takeout for two days straight, basking in the unbridled happiness that always seems to surround his son. He knows, though, that a big part of his feeling better is also because of Buck — he’s never had a catharsis like that with anyone, and he thanked Buck by essentially slamming the door in his face as soon as he tried to dig a little deeper. He wanted to help, Eddie wanted him to help, but it was too much and he was too raw, so he just shut down. Defaulted to being closed off as he usually was because it was safe and easy. But Buck is his best friend, one of the people he loves most, and he deserves someone who could be open and honest with him.

Eddie really wants to be that person.

He really needs to apologize.

He tries multiple times, writing and deleting texts, planning scripts in his head but never hitting the call button. The words keep getting jumbled and they don’t feel like enough, don’t feel like they’re fully expressing how much Eddie wants to tell Buck everything, wants to fully let him in, if Buck is still interested. If he’s not, Eddie’s really not sure what he’s going to do.

He braces himself on Monday, but Buck doesn’t come in. He sees him through the window as he parks and all but falls out of his car, hurrying toward Armageddon. He stops at the front door of the shop, knocks, smiles, and waves, before hurrying off again.

It’s fine. It’s fine. He’s just running late.

He doesn’t see him at all Tuesday, but gets a selfie of a sad looking Buck wrapped in a blanket with a mug of tea and a message reading sinus infections suck ))):. He smiles as he tells him to feel better, and things almost feel normal. Maybe this is just how Buck wants to play it — pretend that Eddie didn’t have a complete breakdown and go back to how things used to be, to how they used to be, whatever that was. If that’s what’s going to make Buck happiest and keep him in Eddie’s life, that’s what Eddie will do. He’ll smash all his feelings back into a box and set it on fire if he has to. Whatever it takes to make sure Buck never leaves.

The door above the shop rings on Wednesday morning, but Eddie’s too absorbed in trying to balance the numbers of a recent wedding to notice. A shadow falls over his laptop, and when he looks up, he’s face to face with Buck, backlit in the golden glow of the early morning sunlight, looking like an angel even in his usual all black. Eddie feels his mouth go dry and his heartbeat pick up.

“You know,” Buck says, his smile easy as always, even if his shoulders look a little tense, “you’re pretty cute when you’re trying to do math.”

It’s a knee jerk reaction to roll his eyes and shake his head, and he smiles too as he sees Buck relax. “At least I know how to do math,” he fires back, laughing at Buck’s mock outrage. Just like that, they’re back in their old routine.

“That’s what I have Maddie for. She’s the brains of the whole operation, and I’m the beauty.”

“What’s Chimney then?”

“He’s dead meat after he let my flowers die while I was gone for a day.”

Eddie snorts as he gets the craft paper. “Well, math might be hard, but replacing flowers is easy. Any requests?”

Buck just shrugs, smiling softly at Eddie now. “Whatever you’re feeling.”

Eddie’s been trying to figure that out for the past four days, but it’s so much easier when Buck asks him to do it with flowers. He wraps the bouquet and turns back to Buck, holding the flowers between them like a shield.

Buck cocks his head, confused. Eddie clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry about last week. You were just trying to help, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’ve got...a lot of stuff to sort through, and I didn’t want to put that burden on you.”

Buck’s smile gets softer still as he reaches out to hold Eddie’s wrist. “It’s okay, I get it. But I meant what I said — I’m here for you no matter what. However and whenever you need me.” He takes the bouquet from Eddie, holding it in the crook of his arm. “Are these apology flowers to match your apology speech?”

Eddie laughs, trying to ignore the embarrassed blush he feels growing on his cheeks. “I guess so. Yellow roses literally mean apology, purple hyacinth means asking for forgiveness, and red carnations—” mean something that you absolutely can’t tell him, he finishes in his head. He freezes for a second, scrambling for any other reason for including them, before lamely landing on— “They just looked nice.”

Luckily, Buck takes it, no questions asked.

As he leaves, Eddie feels a weight go with him, feels more like himself than he has in days. Buck is still here. He saw Eddie at his lowest and it didn’t scare him off. And while that’s all well and good, it feels fragile and new, like something that could break the minute Eddie tries to make it more than friendship like he still so desperately wants.

Instead, he resolves to ball his feelings back up in his chest, hiding them away like he’s done for months and months now. He promised himself he’d do whatever it takes to make sure Buck sticks around, and he meant it.

~~~~~~~~~~

The sun is setting as he enters Armageddon, in a surprisingly good mood given everything that’s happened the past two weeks. He makes his way to the back, distracted by trying to figure out what to do with his weekend. Maybe they can go to the art museum Chris has been raving about, look at all the works that don’t make any sense to Eddie but can keep Chris enraptured for hours. Maybe Buck will come along to explain everything.

He’s distracted enough that he doesn’t register Buck and Chris’s conversation until he’s halfway to the table they’re sitting at in the back room. When he does finally tune in, he stops, just out of sight, and feels his whole body start to go numb.

“It says they mean ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please forgive me’. Is that what Dad said they meant? Was he sorry about something?” Chris is reading from a school library book, the bouquet from earlier this week on the table between him and Buck.

Buck looks at the flowers, smiling almost sadly, before turning back to Chris. “Yeah, that’s what he said too. We just got into an argument, but gave me these flowers, so it’s okay now.” He turns back to the flowers, fingers playing with a stray stem that had fallen off as they wilted. “What does it say about red carnations?”

Chris flips through the book, eventually landing on the page he was looking for. Eddie braces himself as quietly as he can, because he knows exactly what Chris is going to read. “There’s a lot of meanings for different colors, but it says that if you give someone red carnations, it means you love them and feel something special for them. What did Dad say?”

His sharp intake of breath is completely involuntary, fueled purely by panic. Both heads snap toward him immediately, Chris’s face lighting up, Buck’s looking stunned. He tries to keep his own face as normal as possible, but his eyes feel wild and he’s hot all over and he just needs to get Chris and get out.

“Dad! I got a book about flowers from the library so I can know what they mean just like you!”

He really hopes his smile is genuine, because as happy as he is that his son wants to be anything like him, he also feels about 15 seconds away from passing out. “That’s great, buddy. Can you grab your stuff so we can go?”

Chris hops off the chair to pack up, filling the would-be uncomfortable silence with his usual chatter about school, what he’s reading, and what he did with Buck all afternoon. Eddie very pointedly keeps his eyes on his son the whole time, nodding and commentating more than normal so he’s not tempted to look at Buck and completely fall apart. Chris hugs Buck tight around the middle before heading for the door, forcing Eddie to acknowledge Buck without any kind of buffer.

“Thanks for watching him, we’ll see you later, okay?” he says, looking at a spot just over Buck’s shoulder. He doesn’t wait for a response, just rushes out, following after Chris even as he hears Buck call his name.

Surely, Buck will just brush this off. He won’t think twice about why Eddie actually included the carnations and just move on. They’ll be fine, Eddie won’t lose him because of his loud, dumb feelings, and the whole thing will blow over by Monday. He repeats it in his head over and over, willing it to be true.

They’re through the front door and halfway down the sidewalk before Buck catches up with them.

“Eddie, wait!”

Apparently, his force of will is not as strong as he thought.

Eddie skids to a stop, letting Chris run ahead to the store. He closes his eyes and prepares himself, because this is it. The moment he had been trying to prevent for months. He’s off the edge of the cliff, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He takes a deep breath before he turns around.

Buck is watching him. He looks confused and a little worried, and Eddie’s palms itch to reach out and somehow make it better. He jams his hands into the pockets of his jeans instead.

“The carnations weren’t just for show, were they?” Buck asks, slowly, quietly, like he’s trying not to spook a caged animal.

He could lie. He could tell him they didn’t mean anything, that they really just looked nice. He could deny it over and over, and he knows eventually Buck would give in and let it go. They’d go back to square one where they’ve been for so long that Eddie can see ruts forming in their routine.

He’s so tired, though. Tired of lying, tired of wrestling with his feelings and trying to keep them from cracking his ribs and breaking free. And Buck had already seen him lower than rock bottom, and he stayed. Maybe he would stay after this, too.

“No”, Eddie says, shaking his head. “They weren’t just for show. Neither were the gardenias or pink camellias or red tulips, none of them were. You can look them up if you don’t believe me.”

Buck freezes, eyes wide, still as Eddie has ever seen him. And for as much as Eddie is usually a coward, he decides this is the moment to be brave.

“I love you,” he says in a rush. “I’ve loved you for a while, and I didn’t know how to say it out loud, so I just gave you love in flowers instead. You’re everything, Buck, to me and to Chris, and I just didn’t want to lose you or scare you away because I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you left. We need you, in whatever way we can have you.”

He can feel himself shaking as he stops talking, face hot with a furious blush of embarrassment, he’s sure. He never stops looking at Buck though, waiting for him to say something, anything, even telling him to fuck off and never speak to him again would be better than silence.

He waits, and Buck just looks at him with an expression he can’t decipher. He looks and looks, and with every passing second, Eddie feels the world crumbling down around him.

The numbness is back, this time laced with the sting of rejection. He takes a few steps backwards as he feels tears start to prick at the back of his eyes, turning toward the store before they’re too noticeable.

He stops when he feels Buck’s hand wrap around his wrist, holding him in place. “Eddie, please,” he says, sounding close to tears himself. “I— I don’t know what to say, I—”

Eddie pulls his wrist back, Buck letting go without a fight. “It’s fine, Buck. Just forget about it.”

He walks away, tears falling without shame.

He half hopes Buck follows him.

He doesn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie is not hiding. He is strategically avoiding.

He tries to process everything over the weekend, but come Monday, he still can’t bring himself to face Buck, to have the talk where he tells Eddie that he just wants to be friends and nothing more. Because he’ll say that, but things won’t go back to normal. They’ll be awkward and stilted and they’ll drift farther and farther apart until they’re no longer in each other’s orbit, practically strangers. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t know what he’d do with himself without Buck, and he really doesn’t want to try figuring that out now.

So Buck comes in every day like normal, and every day Eddie finds an excuse to busy himself in the back room and let Hen handle him. It only takes her two visits to catch on and pry every detail out of him.

“Eddie, I love you, but you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met,” she tells him when he finishes his story.

“Thank you for kicking me when I’m down,” he says, voice muffled from where his head is pressed to the table. She grabs a hold of his wrist, tugging it until he sits up and gives her his attention.

“Look,” she says. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on in Buck’s head, but he looks about as heartbroken as you do, if not worse. You have to talk to him. If you love him like you say you do, you owe him that much, at the very least.”

She’s right, of course, but that doesn’t mean Eddie is happy about it. Nor does it mean he’s going to jump headfirst into talking about his feelings like he did the last time. He tried being brave, and look where that got him.

He’s still biding his time (and licking his wounds) when he comes back from a delivery a few days later to an eerily quiet store. It’s late afternoon, when they’re normally busy with people picking up bouquets for date nights on their way home from work, but he doesn’t hear any voices when he comes in the back door or see Hen running around with fistfuls of flowers. He walks to the front and stops dead before he can call out for anyone.

Buck is there, once again lit up by the sunlight streaming through the windows, standing next to a vase holding the biggest bouquet Eddie thinks he’s ever seen. He looks nervous, biting his lip as he watches Eddie walk closer, no doubt waiting for a reaction. Eddie’s honestly dumbstruck, because not only is it huge, but he immediately registers the meaning behind each flower he sees.

Blue violets for devotion, forget-me-nots for true love, yarrow for everlasting love. Aster, red chrysanthemums, honeysuckle. Rainflowers asking for returned affection and jasmine for love without conditions. They’re all surrounded by moonflowers for dreaming of and hoping for love. The whole thing is an explosion of color and scents and emotions and it’s beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the man standing next to it.

“I didn’t know what to say last week,” Buck says quietly, gaze moving from the flowers to Eddie. There’s a blush crawling up his cheeks that rivals any rose or carnation. His smile unfurls like a lily in the summertime. “I figured I’d try speaking your language instead.”

Eddie turns to Buck fully, tries to say something, but the words get stuck in his throat as his mind tries to process the sheer amount of things he’s feeling. He has half a mind to pinch himself, make sure he’s not dreaming, but he knows he isn’t. This is better than anything in his wildest fantasies because it’s real.

He’s snapped back to the present moment when he feels Buck’s hands on his, slotting their fingers together. Eddie squeezes instinctually, holding on for dear life, because he feels like he’s about to crack again — not from despair this time, but from sheer, unfiltered joy. It only gets bigger when he looks at Buck and sees it reflected in his eyes, too.

“Eddie,” he says, a laugh bubbling out of him like the happiness is overwhelming. “I love you. I love you so much. I think I’ve loved you from the minute I ran into the store for the first time, and it’s been snowballing ever since.” He brings a hand up to Eddie’s cheek, wiping away tears he didn’t even know were falling. He leans into the touch, smile only growing because it’s warm and perfect, like he always knew it would be. “You said I was everything to you and Chris, but you two are more than everything to me. I want to be here, with you, for you, for as long as you’ll let me.”

And because he is who he is, because he’s been living with his parasitic self doubt for longer than anyone should, Eddie pauses. His mind flashes through all his shadows and darkness lingering under this momentary happiness, and while it’s overwhelming and good and true, he still doubts.

“I’m a mess,” he says, feeling Buck tighten his hold like he’s afraid he’ll try to run. “You saw it up close. I can’t guarantee it won’t always be that bad. Are you sure you want to deal with all this?”

“I want everything with you, Eddie. Good, bad, and ugly. You can’t scare me away that easily. I won’t let you.”

For once, there’s no rebuttal. He knows Buck is telling the truth, feels it in every part of him. If he focuses enough, he swears he feels a little less darkness around him. But there’s so much going on in his head that he doesn’t know what to say anymore, can’t figure out how to express to Buck exactly what all of this means to him.

He’s still not great at words, but he’s as good at actions as he is at flowers.

There’s no fireworks or angels singing when they kiss, and it takes a few tries for them to stop smiling enough for their teeth to get out of the way. But once they fall into a rhythm, Buck hands on Eddie’s hips, Eddie’s hands running through Bucks curls, the whole world falls away until it’s just them. It’s a slow, gentle thing, but Eddie pours everything he’s hiding into it, hoping that Buck picks up on how much and how deeply he loves him. If the smile he feels on Buck’s lips is any indication, he thinks the message is loud and clear.

They pull away eventually but only to rest their foreheads together, soaking up each other. Eddie’s still smiling as he leans in, placing kisses on whatever parts of Buck’s face he can reach, just because he can. He feels the rumble of Buck’s laugh in his own chest, and almost wants to cry again at the realization that he’s going to be able to feel that laugh whenever he wants, have it memorized and tucked away in his mind for when the darkness is too loud.

He always knew Buck had enough light in him for both of them. Now he gets to prove himself right.

He pulls back a little more, taking in every feature of Buck’s happiness, fingers coming up to gently trace over his birthmark.

“Does this mean I get free tattoos for life?” he asks. Buck’s laugh is sharp and surprised, and they dissolve into giggles and kisses and touches like they’re teenagers again.

Eddie knows that it won’t always be this perfect — things will be hard, they’ll be tested again and again, and sometimes things will feel too dark for either of them to bear. But the light will always come back, they’ll grow stronger, blossoming in ways they never could on their own.

Eddie has been hiding in the shadows for too long. Buck is finally bringing him into the sunshine.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie fic #9-1-1 fic #9-1-1 fox #i'm sad it's over except SIKE i have a lot of little fics planned for this #i hope you guys like it!!#the flower shop #ficcery

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tillmays · 4 years ago

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the Late shift

Here it is as promised. To the ones that asked to read it first thanks. Thank you for your words. This is one of so many things that “happens” idk if you get it. this is different to the things you all read don't take it so harsh. This was the first thing I wrote. As I have said before I see me in Riley, I wasn't feeling good when I wrote it. this helped e to get something off my chest. I didn't came here to ruin the character for anyone ok. and I added something to make it fit in the story line. 1 day later but here it is.

======= ===== ====== ====== ====

*Riley checks phone* sitting in the driver's seat looking through the window. She was a little distracted. she checks her phone again. “do u not feel me thinking about u??? Text me” she said to herself. “Waiting for something Miss Davis” Riley snapped out of her head and said “oh no I’m just, eh… Nothing. It’s late that’s all. You said this was going to be quick” she turned her head to look out of the window again. “Things take time. We need to have patience” he said to her while being alert too. “Well yeah but I will have more patience if I knew what I’m doing here” she said sarcastically. He put his hand on his chin. “You haven’t told me what I’m here for,” she said while looking at her phone again. “You know that after this you have to get rid of that phone”. Riley looked at him while her sight eye was getting lost in the distance knowing it was time to let go. “I know,” she said. James Macgyver said to her “so you remember what you have to do” “no you haven’t told me anything ” “oh. My apologies then, I guess I have been a little distracted too. You have to hack his phone. This man has information about an undercover team. A team that is close to the people you’re going to be spending next few months. So…” “Wait what?” she said confused. “Oh you don’t know? guess director Webber forgot to tell you the details. You get the information from the phone, after that you’re free to leave”.

Flashback: to 2 days ago

Before leaving for the mission with the team. That morning, Riley received a message from oversight. He needed her for a special work. James Macgyver called her, He knew her abilities. He was impressed with her work and he knew she was the indicated for the job. “Miss Davis I called you because I know you are the right one for it. the right one for what? she asked. In 2 days I will call you no matter the time you have to be ready. Bring your equipment you’re going to need it” he said in an excited way. “What is it about?” she asked while raising her eyebrow. “The only information you need to know right now, it’s that you have to be ready ok”. “Ok sir, I will be ready then” Mac was walking down the hall when he saw them talking. Mac stepped back, so they wouldn’t see him coming. “Be careful. And watch Mac for me”. He said to her smiling while he patted down on her shoulder. “Don’t even doubt it sir” she smiled while he walked away, and she entered the war room.

Mac saw them smiling. His mind was running like crazy trying to think what the hell was going on. “I’m just overthinking. maybe they ran into each other. He was saying hi, Wait he doesn’t do that he’s not a normal person he doesn’t go around talking to people. Damn I’m doing it again I need to stop. shit. How do I escape from my mind” he said to himself while the curiosity was eating him inside.

End of flashback

——————————————————–

“Well are you ready for your new adventure as an undercover agent?” J.Macgyver asked “Yeah, little bit. I mean it’s different. I’m entering a new field, I know it’s not going to be like before. The traveling and the fun with the team. And having this rush of adrenaline every 5 minutes with Mac” James made a little smirk. “but it's work. I will get there, eventually.. I will be ready when I’m ready”. “Yeah I know in this job you don’t get to actually see the places you go. In all of these years, I have seen what the man is capable of. *He was reflecting on all the people he has encountered and the things they can do to hurt others. “And I have seen some things in this world that I swear...”. He looked through the windshield without ending the sentence. Riley was very reflective. and he continued saying “But like you say, it’s work. but it tends to consume you.” Riley looked at him. He was venting to her but in an unconscious way. “But isn’t that funny about life” what?” she asked. He looked at her trying to get his composure back “the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony, don't you think” he said to her. “here's another one, when we fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time”. “Uh that's a good one” she said sarcastically towards herself. They started saying jokes at things that were related to how they were feeling. “Or when you’re holding onto something that is not even there,” she continued and laughed. time passed when James Macgyver spotted on the street the man they were waiting for. “ there it is” Riley checked the man crossing the street entering this bar by where they were waiting. “the man of the hour” Riley said while grabbing her phone and her backpack. “I'll be back in a flash” he nodded to her. He had a laptop where he could see the place through the security cameras that Riley hacked earlier. Riley entered the place. Saw where the man was sitting. He was at the bar where he ordered a drink. He was close to her by four chairs in between them. Riley covered the phone with her hair. The job is done at the same moment she sent it to oversight. She walked out and went back to the car. She got in and started the car. “Alright let’s go” “done? Are you sure?” “Yeah already sent it to you” she smiled as they were leaving the place he was more than impressed. 20 minutes driving they were at a stop sign. Riley saw this bar and she felt like going. “Hey we are done here right?” she asked “yes we certainly are. Why?” “Well I will drop off here” she took off the seat belt and got out of the car. “Wait where are you going” “oh I’m just going to that bar” James looked around. “are you sure” he didn’t feel right leaving her there. “Yeah it’s going to be quick” “well, have a good night and good luck” she thanked him and walked into the bar she stayed at a bit. It was time to catch her plane. Riley was walking down the street when she felt like someone was following her, “ok calm down” said to herself. The system on her phone started to give Riley a notification. She tried to grab the phone from the back pocket of her jeans. when someone grabbed her from behind and dragged her in the back alley of the bar. Riley started to punch him, but he grabbed her arms. He had her pressed against the wall. Riley couldn’t fight back. She didn’t know why her body stopped responding. It gave her chills. She felt her body go cold. She did not understand what was happening. Riley felt a lump in her throat, she could not scream, the tears running down her cheeks. He whispered things in her ear. clung her hands to the wall in desperation trying to get away. A shivering went down her spine. Riley’s cell phone kept ringing, the only thing that came out of her mouth was “stop”. He wasn’t listening; he punched her on the ribs multiple times. It hurted like hell because her wound from her last mission hasn't completely healed. *body hits the ground* Riley heard how a piece of wood fell to the ground. She was still clinging to the wall. She looked askance at the floor and saw the man lying on the ground unconscious.

-Riley?!?! You ok?! Riley kept facing the wall, she was still scared. -Riley…. She turned around and saw Billy Colton. Confused with tears in her eyes she was more than relieved to see him. He was the last person she would expect to see at that moment. Riley felt out of her body. She started to give little steps toward Billy. He walked with his arms open to grab her and take her out of there. He didn’t say a word. They walked for an hour. until Riley asked him. “How did you find me?” -what?. “How did you know I was here?” -Well, I know this is a little bit fucked up but when we were together I linked our systems, so I would know where you were. And when we broke up, I forgot to delete it. so.. here we are. “Thank you I guess...” question, how did a trained agent not fight back that man back there? I don't know Billy. I got frozen. my mind wasn't there you know if you didn't get there in time it could be another situation right now” she said. don't worry about it. hey let me walk you to your place.Billy offered. Riley saw a public phone. “Hey uh i need to make a call first” She walked to the phone. - ok

*phone rings*

-Hello? “Oh hey mom” Riley's voice started to break. -honey what wrong? “Nothing i wanted to talk” -Riley are you ok? “Yeah I'm fine….i just feel lost ”. Riley was crying in silence. Her tears falling from her face didn’t make a noise. She didn’t want to worry her mom. “You know mom there's something I wanted to say and I remembered that-” - oh you always thinkin in the past. You remember too much. Why hold onto all that? “Well where can I put it down?” she said sarcastically annoyed. -Riley you need to forgive the woman you once were and look forward to the one you’re becoming. “Yeah well how easy is that mom?” - oh well how you are going to forget and forgive if you can’t forgive your own mother? You’re not going to say something? you know saying nothing sometimes says the most. “Hey mom since this is about you now i'm gonna go ok”. She hung up and saw Billy waiting for her. “Hey uh I have to go.” Riley, tired and angry, was trying to get rid of him. -what, no I will walk you home. I can’t leave you alone. Billy was looking for a way to stick with her a little longer, even if it was just one night. “It’s ok. I don’t want to .. Talk right now” -hey forget it. don’t worry, let's walk. He said. there was a little silence and he tried to start small talk. So how did that call go? he looked at her, Riley laughed and said “Hey we say not talking” -ok ok. Billy smiled at her and looked at her just like before. the same look when they were together two old lovers making company for the other like if they had no past. A meaningless conversation. A Familiar scenery.

#MacGyver #macgyver 2016 #MacGyver Fanfiction #macgyver fic #fanfiction #fanfic #My Story #writing #thewritingofRobin #mine #riley davis #riles #rileyxbilly #billy colton #james macgyver #The Phoenix #The Coltons

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itsamejin · 5 years ago

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leave me || part 2 || suga angst ||

Part 1

Warning: heavy angst, cheating

Summary: He’s cheating and you’re aware. You just don’t know what to do about it.

–

In hindsight, you should've been the one to kick him out. Caught up in the moment, your time spent packing was filled with tears rather than logical thinking. It was your apartment- why did you let him keep it? Groaning at your own carelessness, you buried your face onto your hands.

Another stupid notification rang. It's been a whole day since you left. You expected him to give up by now. Glaring at the text notification, you decided to turn your phone off for good.

Heaving out a deep sigh, you took a good look around your old room with the piles of boxes scattered around. Photos of your childhood peppered the walls. Your heart sunk especially when your eyes locked onto a polaroid picture of Yoongi and you in high school uniforms. Those days, it was truly just you and him against the world.

Pondering on it more, you realized it was the best decision to up and leave. Having to move back in with your parents after a breakup was embarrassing, but it couldn't compare to the amount of pain you'd feel if you had to stay in that godforsaken apartment. All those memories, all those nights being lonely for no reason. You were so over it. Moving back in would be a new chapter of your life; you're sure of it.

As you stood up to take the photo down from the wall, there was a subtle knock on your door.

"[Y/N] I'm coming in!" your mother's voice gently spoke.

Although she wasn't usually softspoken, she knew you were having a tough time. It was a mother's duty to act a little kinder after such a bad breakup.

"Can I ask you something, dear?" she sounded a little dejected, phone in hand and palms sweaty.

A little voice in your head knew it wasn't gonna be good. That whatever she was about to say would break you no matter what.

"Yeah, sure," you replied nervously.

Your mother cleared her throat and took a seat next to you.

"So, dear, what do we do if Yoongi starts messaging us as well?"

Your eyes widened and a part of your heart dropped. You didn't think he'd go this far. You didn't think he'd care as much as he did now.

"What has he been saying?"

Your mother crinkled her eyes and pursed her lips.

"Would you like to see for yourself?"

She offered you the phone. Taking it hesitantly, you were shocked to see the number of texts he had given to your mother alone.

"Has dad been getting texts as well?" you asked.

"Not as much as me. Yoongi did like me more after all," she chuckled, stopping when she noticed the sadness in your eyes.

"I'll leave this here, dear. Give me back the phone when you're done," she said, standing up from beside you.

Watching your mother walk out the door, you weren't sure if you were ready to read the texts. Was it even right that you read them in the first place? Taking a deep breath, you scrolled up to the first one he sent.

Son-in-law: Hello, Mrs. [Y/L/N]. It's me, Yoongi. I noticed your daughter had been missing since yesterday morning. I was trying to call you, but it seems that you're busy. All of her stuff is gone too. Is she with you perhaps?

A little angry with the nickname she had for Yoongi, you were glad that she only responded with a bland "yes, she is." Your lips quivered at the formal way he spoke with your mother. How he was still able to put up his front even when you had already broken things off with him.

Maybe you should've left him a letter. A long hefty letter detailing your harboring resentment and how he should fuck off and be happy with Jieun now that you're out of the picture. But you weren't the type of person to be that brave. You would rather leave and keep him guessing, torment him like how he had done to you.

The next few texts were a little more distressed, a little more desperate. It was as if a different person had taken Yoongi's phone and texted for him.

Son-in-law: That's great. Can I speak to her?

Son-in-law: It's fine if she doesn't want to. Please just let her know that I want to talk.

Son-in-law: She deserves an explanation, at least. I do too. Please just tell her.

Son-in-law: Mrs. [Y/L/N]? I beg of you. I just want her to talk to me.

Son-in-law: Please. I miss her.

The last text made you glare at the phone. He was so, so good at acting like he cared. He should have received an Oscar along with all those shitty awards he's been getting lately. Seething, you blocked Yoongi's number on your mother's phone. It would keep him away just for a little longer.

It didn't make you happy in the slightest knowing he wanted to talk to you. It made you feel guilty when you shouldn't be. You opened up your own phone out of curiosity.

The first few texts were hostile, obviously going through the shock of finding all your things missing. First of all, he asked you about laundry and that did not set off a good tone for the rest of the messages that came. At around midnight, he had called you a bitch. Which, fair enough, he was probably drunk because there was an influx of voicemails that poured in during that time as well.

You were afraid to listen to them. You weren't so weak to come crawling back, but what if you misunderstood everything? What if you were wrong? Was there even a Jieun to be so upset about? Was he just more distant than usual?

Taking a leap of faith, you opened up the very first one. Your hopes were somewhat high. Maybe if this were all just a misunderstanding, you could give him a second chance.

Instead of his slightly accented voice, you were greeted by a soft-spoken woman. Your blood went cold.

"Hi, Yoongi left his phone at my apartment. This is his sister, right? I'm his girlfriend Jieun, I just wanted to know if he's okay. Tonight he looked really-"

You screamed and threw your phone onto the ground, stopping the audio because of the impact. Your lips quivered and your hands were shaking. You were brought back down into the coldness of reality. You sat on the bed as you felt tears come down your eyes. Bringing your knees onto your face, you sobbed into them.

You were right. He was an asshole and once again, you naively tried to think better of him. No more. You would never, ever forgive him again. There could be no more excuses.

–

It took you a good six hours of laying on your bed and scrolling through social media to really get Jieun's voicemail out of your head. You deleted every possible thing related to Yoongi on your phone, blocked his name on social media and even Jieun’s. You didn't bother to read the stupid texts or listen to the voicemails. He wasn't worth it. The pain, the sadness, every single sacrifice you made for him. What made you think it was okay to ever trust him?

You eyed the promise ring that adorned your index finger. You wondered if it was the right time to take it off. But it reminded you so much of a certain memory, you couldn't possibly.

Finally making a move to stand up, you walked towards the boxes and started unpacking them one by one. Being productive would get your mind out of it.

It didn't really help, though, that everything reminded you of him. The mason jars you owned were often used as his pencil holders, your notebooks had ripped out pages for his music notes, and even your childhood teddy bear still had Yoongi's scent on it. Ruffling your hair, you soldiered on. It didn't get easier, the more items you pulled out, but you'd learn to get over it. At least, you hoped so.

Yoongi's POV

Yoongi sat in the recording studio with a blank look on his face. If one were to look at him, they'd think he was a statue. His phone was faced downward and turned off. He needed absolute silence at the moment.

He got it back in the morning when Jieun dropped it off at the dorm. Yoongi cringed internally when she told him that she left a voice message to his sister. He had to think for a good minute as to who she was talking about, but then he realized. He contacted you endlessly, even going as far as messaging your family. But somehow you blocked his number. Which only led him to contact your friends, but there was never a reply.

Even if he was trying to take his mind off of things now, there was still a dull ache in his chest that he couldn't get rid of.

Yoongi got too drunk last night, stumbled into Jieun's apartment, fucked her, and left. It sounded vulgar, but that was honestly all he could remember. The alcohol couldn't suppress the pain well enough so he figured sex could. It didn’t work. No matter what, his heart still felt constricted. Even now as he replayed his new track over and over again, he couldn't believe that this was all happening.

It was the day when you left. Yoongi slept in Jieun's house the night before. He walked into the apartment, barely noticing its bare state, and saw that his favorite jumper was still in the laundry basket. He sent a hostile text to you. He was always so annoyed lately.

Maybe that came with being together with someone for so long; you slowly just start getting sick of their existence. But when he walked into the bedroom and towards the closet, he was shocked to see that all your clothes were missing. He suspected burglary and everything in between but when he made his way to call the police, he stopped. He remembered what happened yesterday when his company told him that his relationship with Jieun would be revealed and without thinking, Yoongi agreed to it. He knew what this was about and he couldn't help but get angrier. He wasn’t sure if it was at you or with himself.

Nevertheless, he drowned his sorrows in alcohol.

As Yoongi tapped his fingers to the rhythm of the bass, he couldn't help but grimace at how quiet it has been for him. No one cared as much as you did, no one barged in his studio more than you. Your presence was always there, eating at him. Sometimes Yoongi felt suffocated and maybe it was harsh to think that way of someone he loves, but now it was a different type of suffocation. He felt guilt. If you gave him the chance to explain, what would he even say?

"I'm sorry I wasted your time on someone like me, but I fell in love with another girl and I'm just bored and annoyed with the relationship we have now" wasn't really that accurate. Although it held some truth, none of his feelings were that black and white.

Of course he still loves you. That wouldn't ever change. You've been with him since the start when there was no worth to his name and he was just a regular guy. You would always be his.

But the side-effect of being in such a long relationship was that he no longer felt that same puppy love you two shared. Instead, it was a mutual understanding. A silent connection you two shared. But Yoongi hated that type of love. He always wanted it to be loud and boisterous and it showed in his music. But lately, it felt like you wanted to keep everything under wraps. That everything should be lowkey just because he was a celebrity. It constricted him even more.

Stopping the music, Yoongi glanced at his desk drawer. He pulled it open and took out a small, velvet box. It was a nice royal blue. He hadn't taken it out in so long that dust had started to collect. He opened it with hesitancy.

Inside was a beautiful ring. A nice diamond adorned the middle and an engraving of your anniversary date inside. It made him smile, but it wasn't that of happiness. It was more like a smile of regret. The memories that whirled around his head on the night that he proposed to you and you so softly rejected. It had already been a year since then, yet he couldn't get your dejected expression out of his head.

He thought you'd be happy. He genuinely did. Yoongi spent months planning it. A nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, a night stroll next to the Han river. There was no one in sight and he already asked for your parents' blessing the night before. It truly felt like a dream- up until he kneeled down in front of you.

"[Y/N]" he started, voice unstable. "I know I'm not the best at talking or showing my emotions, but I want you to know that I love you."

He opened the box and he could've sworn he saw your expression worsen.

"W-will you marry me?" he rushed. It should've been the perfect night, the perfect timing. And in some twisted way, it wasn't. Because instead of enveloping him in an embrace and chanting out a "yes!", you blankly stared at him with an awkward expression.

You couldn't look him in the eyes and you started fiddling with your thumbs.

"No, Yoongi. I don't think now is the right time to get married," she said straightforwardly. In a state of shock, Yoongi stayed on the ground until she reluctantly helped to pull him up.

"I love you, but I just don't think marriage is a good idea. Let's just forget about this, okay?"

He stood, mouth open but no words came out. Yoongi nodded, but he didn't really understand what was being said.

"Thank you, really. It makes me happy that you want to get married, but-"

The look in your eyes, the way it made him feel. It was like you were disgusted with the idea of spending the rest of your life with him.

You didn't know it, but that night, on the balcony of your shared apartment- he cried. The moon as his only witness, realizing how much of a fool he was. He didn't know why you rejected him and he didn't want to know why. Not when his friends and family asked how it went. Not when your parents started calling him son-in-law. These feelings of anguish, of complete rejection, stayed with him for the coming months. He acted normally for a while, but then he started to make excuses.

"I forgot we had a date-"

"I'm sorry something came up at work-"

"I'm too tired right now, let's not-"

Yoongi avoided you so often, he couldn't remember the last time you had a proper dinner together. In fact, he was so good at acting like an asshole he started being an actual one too.

And then he met Jieun, a gorgeous girl that smiled way too much. She was annoying at first, reminding him of how you used to be. Then as he got to know her, the weight of the world felt so much lighter. Because after you turned down his proposal, he started having doubts about everything. He wanted you to hurt like him. He wanted you to have the same insecurities he had about himself. He couldn't help but think such destructive thoughts.

How could you continue on with your life and act like nothing happened? Like you hadn't completely shattered his heart when you said no to his proposal? How could he act like he was fine when he was the one clearly suffering?

Yoongi shook his head from the flooding memories. A tear fell and soon another. He was crying in his dark recording studio and in that moment he felt truly pathetic. That a cheater like him still had the guts to blame you for it all. The texts he sent you last night berating you, calling you names. He regretted it, but you can't turn back the clock. It was over now. Only the dull ache of his chest remained.

As he stared into the ring's diamond, he wondered. When had he started to lose you?

Was it when he proposed?

Or was it when you found out about Jieun?

He closed the velvet box. Yoongi's mind didn't know when. All he knew was that he fucked up either way.

–

AN: Part 2 is done and wow can I say this was so hard to write, I just didn’t know how to phrase certain things. Thank you so much for the overwhelming support! How do y'all feel about Yoongi? Still hate him? (You probably should.) Expect some more Jieun soon... in part 3!

Tags: @jaiuneamesolitaiire @milady-mira @somewhereinthestarss

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