#but no lets keep beating a dead fucking horse i guess

[genericpuff]

WTs behavior sure is... *something* to watch as a latecommer. you've covered it all better than I can articulate but damn does it ever haunt that they've essentially tripled-down on Rachel as the winning racehorse, someone who's historically been the most "go girl give us nothing" (if not worse than nothing) of all their past bigshots even w/o the trust in the show sinking lower and lower day by silent day.

It's not a profound remark but I stand in the on going scene like "This is it? Your plan?" as they keep digging. They desperately need something new to have breakout popularity, but they can't do that if they don't take in new blood, which they won't because new blood is a risk, etc. And so the scene is damned anew.

look, off the non-existent record that is my shitposting blog, as someone who just spent half an hour listening to their recent conference call with Goldman Sachs... in my very humble opinion, there is allegedly a metric FUCKTON of copium being huffed and I don't think the Goldman Sachs rep even realizes how much he's being talked down to. It's actually fucking hilarious. And I'm just a dweeb on the Internet, I shouldn't be sitting here picking up on the condescending vibes for what they are throughout a meeting that talks about shit like investment opportunities and quarterly returns and advertising metrics but... let's just say, WT's CFO David Lee's statement, "...proof will be in quarters I release, and I'm humbled by the reaction to my Q2 release which, again, I have to say, I thought I over delivered every single metric... but here we are, and I just have to continue to post results I guess to help educate all of you on the business I think we have" is even more passive aggressive to hear than it is to read, soooo here we are. Like, the chirpy tone in his voice just makes me think of this:

and yeah at this point they're beating the dead horse that is LO harder than the critical community is because even the critical community has largely moved on with their lives and only talk about it casually with other critical readers; meanwhile Webtoons is seriously over here trying to sell people on LO as if it's still 2021 and they're not years late to the party 💀 Even that quote I included in my last post saying that Rachel got started "4 or 5 years ago"... Lore Olympus launched in the Canvas section in 2017 and then as an Originals in March 2018. It's been longer than 4 years, Mr. Lee, and at this point the amount of time that's passed since selling its TV rights to Jim Henson Company will exceed the amount of time it took to even complete the comic in the first place 😭😆 The time to capitalize on LO's success was when it was successful, not 3-4 years after the fact.

[jasntodds]

Caving In [16]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 11,998

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon violence, blood, mentions of injuries (bruising, being shot with a tranquilizer), more yelling

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: We see Jason again this chapter, I promise!! Also, hi, next chapter is the last chapter of book 1 lmao there will be a 1 week break between this book and book 2 because I have chapters for book 2 done lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​​​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

After the next few hours, Gar and you keep up with city surveillance cameras but you haven't been able to spot Conner or Krypto. Your best guess is that they're probably in some secluded alley waiting for things to calm down before they start moving.  It's a bit disappointing and disheartening. You and Gar need to find him and bring them back to the tower. It's not safe for them out there alone.

With no luck at the cameras, you convince Gar to come to the kitchen to have a snack. Neither of you have eaten in a while and you won't be useful if you're hungry. Gar reluctantly agrees but he pulls up the news on a laptop as he paces back and forth, you rummaging for a few granola bars. Gar tries to call Dick again but still gets his voicemail.

"Why isn't he answering?" Gar asking, words steaming with annoyance.

"Guilt?" You question, tossing Gar a granola bar from the other side of the counter. "I have no idea. Call Bruce again?"

"Uh...right, um." Gar rubs the back of his neck and you narrow your eyes at him.

He neglected to tell you that he did not call Bruce when he said he would. He went to call but then hung up before the call went through. Conner was your best chance at getting the Titans back together. He just wants them back, they belong together. They’re Titans. But, he knew you would probably be mad if he told you. You and Gar had one job.

"Gar, did you not call him?" You blink at him, sucking on your teeth.

Gar shakes his head, wincing. "Conner woke up and I thought if we called Bruce, he'd take Conner away and then we'd never get the Titans back to together."

You stare at him and you can't believe he was that desperate to lie and then not do what Dick told him to do. You know the Titans mean a lot to him but he should have called. This was probably part of why Dick wanted you to call Bruce. The two of you are not equipped to deal with this and what just happened proves that. But, Gar is beating himself up enough for it and you aren’t going to beat a dead horse. Especially because it’s Gar.

“Okay.” You let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing your face with your hands. “Okay, I’ll call Bruce then.”

“But we lost him. How are we--”

“Gar,” You shake your head. “Look, it’s Bruce Wayne. He raised Dick fucking Grayson and took Jason fucking Todd in who was stealing from the Batmobile, okay? He solves riddles from the Riddler. Us losing Conner? That’s child’s play. Bruce will know what to do.” You swallow your pride admitting Bruce might be kind of helpful right now and he might not yell at either of you for it. This can’t be worse than anything Dick and Jason have put him through.

“I’m really sorry.” Gar's brows knit together with guilt and you hang your head before looking back to him. You can't let him beat himself for it.

“It’s fine, I get it.” You sigh. “I just wish you would have told me. But, it’s okay. I get why you did it. I’ll call Bruce and we’ll find him.” You walk over to the other side of the counter and put your hands on his shoulders. “We got this.” You give him a confident smile and it does make him feel a little bit better.

You take your hands off him and just as you’re about to walk away, the alarm system goes off for zone two. Gar glances to you before going to the laptop and pulling up the intercom feed from the front door.

“Hello? Who's there?” Gar asks annoyed, not seeing anyone. You look over his shoulder, just seeing the buildings across the street.

Krypto jumps up on the screen and barks. You smile widely, already making your way toward the elevator. Gar follows right behind you, feeling a little bit of relief. At least Krypto is back and he can lead you both back to Conner.

You and Gar follow Krypto through the city, keeping up with him at an even pace. You almost laugh to yourself as you walk because this is kind of like Lassie. You're literally following a dog to find someone who's lost. But, Krypto is cooler than Lassie. He's a superdog. Gar, on the other hand, is just relieved you'll be able to get Conner and come back to the tower. He swears he'll be calling Bruce when you get back. He should have done it yesterday but he can make up for it now.

After about a fifteen-minute walk, Krypto runs ahead of you and Gar, jumping on someone in a trench coat. Gar feels the weight immediately lift from his shoulders. That's definitely Conner. You’re a bit surprised it was actually that easy to find him. But, you’re definitely feeling like you got lucky that no one had recognized him from the news.

"Great, dumbest dog ever." Conner says, looking down as Krypto sits right in front of him.

"He can ring a doorbell with his nose." Gar smiles softly at Conner as he walks up, you right to his left. "I've seen dumber."

"He brought Eve to the tower to find you, came to get us, found you again. Give him a little credit." You let out a soft laugh as you walk over to Krypto, patting his head gently.

Conner deadpans at the two of you, clearly not in the mood for anything. "Stay away from me." Conner states before walking off.

You look to Gar as his face falls. How is Conner possibly mad at the two of you? Sure, you were not specific with the Titan's instructions but he went rogue. It's at that moment you get why Dick was so angry at you and Jason, twice. You swear that thought will never see the light of day.

You and Gar start walking after Conner, taking long strides to keep up with him.

"What you did to those cops...you messed things up for a lot of people, including us." Gar says as you catch up to Conner. "I think we deserve an answer. What the hell happened?" You look to Gar and you’re proud of him for standing up himself. He doesn't do it nearly enough.

"When you invited me to be a Titan, I told you what I was. But you didn't listen cause that's not what you wanted to hear." Conner’s voice sounds hurt.

"You're right." Gar moves forward, standing in front of Conner so all of you come to a stop. "I didn't listen. Being a Titan isn't about being perfect. I..." Gar sucks in a breath, his voice lowering. "I killed a guy once. And I clawed him to pieces."

You remember after Jerry, Gar has said something about how he had killed someone and that must be what he's referring to. You didn't really ask, it didn't seem like something he wanted to talk about but given the look of distress on his face, you’re thinking maybe you should have. But, Gar is right. None of the Titans are perfect, and Conner doesn't have to be either. Being a Titan isn't about being perfect, it's about helping people who can't help themselves.

"So, maybe we should both be locked up." Conner states.

"Hey," You chime in. "No, that's not how it works. We all fuck up." You state, moving to stand beside Gar so you can look up at Conner. "You hurt those cops because you didn't know any better but everyone is capable of learning from their mistakes. Gar did what he had to survive. I nearly beat a guy to death for torturing me. We fuck up and then we work through it with each other. That's how it works."

Gar offers you a kind and grateful smile before looking back at Conner. "She's right. When we mess up, we learn from it with each other and so can you." Gar lets out a breath. "What we do...other people count on us to help them."

"Well, they shouldn't." Conner fires back.

"Why not? If you wanna argue about it, I'll argue." You cross your arms over your chest. "We can help them." You haven't actually been able to given Dick not letting any of you but that's the idea. "We have these abilities that we choose to use for good. Who you are has nothing to do with who your parents are. That's all you and you can choose to be good."

"And you two still hurt other people by choosing to be good." Conner strikes back and your eyes narrow. 

But, before Gar or you can try reasoning more with Conner further, Krypto starts barking. The three of you look where Krypto is barking, seeing a dark grey armored vehicle show up with a CADMUS decal on the door. Those are the people who are looking for Conner and Krypto and you start getting a bad feeling about this.

"You guys have to get out of here, now." Conner states, lightly pushing Gar's chest before he starts walking confidently towards the vehicle.

You and Gar are quick to catch up to him. Gar runs in front of him, putting his hands on Conner's chest to stop him.

"No, no, no!" Gar's words rush together. "Do you really want to hurt someone else?" He asks as the three of you come to a stop.

"You can choose to walk away, Conner." You state.

Conner looks between you, jaw clenched. But, he doesn't start to move forward.

"Come on!" Gar taps Conner's shoulder and the three of you start running, Krypto running slightly in front of you.

The four of you run back to the tower, hoping CADMUS didn't notice you or follow you. You hope you lost them. You kept looking over your shoulder, checking but you’re pretty sure you lost them when you took a shortcut down an alley and cut across to a second one. That's the last you remember seeing them but there is a part of you that starts to worry about it.

They're looking for Conner. They're going to keep looking for him. Gar and you are not equipped to deal with that on your own. You’re worried for Conner. If anyone knows what it's like to be held against their will, it would be you. It's CADMUS and they made him which means it was probably torture. The anxiety creeps into the back of your throat but you have to swallow it down as you get out of the elevator. This isn't about you. This is about keeping Conner safe.

“Hey, you know they’re just gonna keep coming after me, right?” Conner asks as he sets his coat down on one of the table chairs.

Gar grabs three drinks from one of the shelves in the kitchen while you take a seat at one of the barstools.

“Let them try.” Gar states, putting the drinks down in front of you.

“We’re always gonna help.” You add in. You wouldn’t risk someone being subjected to what you were.

“This is my mess, not yours.” Conner states.

“This is what the Titans do.” Gar urges, leaning his arms on the counter, facing you and Conner.

“We protect people, including our own.” You give Conner a nod.

The words still feel a little sour in your mouth. That's what you're supposed to do but it doesn't feel like that's the case. You keep that to yourself though. It's not fair to argue that right now. Giving Conner this rundown of the shit that happened a few days ago isn't going to help anyone or anything or this situation. You decide just to back Gar up on this.

“Exactly, we have each other’s backs.” Gar smiles proudly before walking back off to the pantry.

“So, where are they? The other Titans.” Conner asks and you spin on your chair, facing away from Conner and towards Gar. That's all for Gar to explain.

“You know what,” Gar pauses for a second. “Maybe I should do what Dick wanted me to do in the first place.” Gar walks back of the pantry and pulls out his phone.

“Yes, yes you should.” You nod your head. This is gonna be a big mess if he doesn’t get ahold of Bruce. You cannot take CADMUS.

“Call in the big guns.”

“We’re gonna use guns?” Conner asks, a little worry in his voice.

“No, it’s just a metaphor. Calling Bruce Wayne.” Gar says with a smile.

“You are calling him, right?” You raise your brows at Gar and Gar nods softly at you, typing into his phone.

“Yeah, we need him.” Gar states and he starts to walk away but then there’s a security alert.

“Zone six, unauthorized access.” The automated voice says through the tower and Gar pauses, looking back at you.

“What’s that?” Conner asks.

“Zone six is the roof.” Gar's voice is filled with confusion.

"Why does it have to be roof?" You let out an exasperated whine. You’re really starting to hate rooftops.

The three of you look around, as if unsure what you should do but before you and Gar can check the security cameras, the floor-to-ceiling windows shatter. You lean away, dodging the glass. Gar takes a few steps further away and Conner flinches away from the windows. People in all black with guns start to storm the tower.

They repel through the windows and start coming in through the hall leading to the training room. You jump up from your spot, moving away from them, meeting Gar and Conner at the very end of the counter. Krypto starts barking as he runs in to join you. Gar puts his hands up, not knowing what the hell else to do with guns pointed directly at him.

Krypto starts barking and won’t stop while the men say to shut him up. Before they can act though, Krypto uses his superspeed and jumps onto one of the men, tackling him to the ground. Unfortunately, another man shoots a net with glowing green orbs at the ends right at Krypto and captures him. Conner jumps into action with the sound of Krypto whimpering.

This cannot be happening. The tower is supposed to be safe. It’s supposed to be secure but now you’re being stormed by fucking CADMUS. You feel your mouth run dry and this can’t be happening. They’re going to take Conner and probably kill you and Gar. How does this shit keep happening? But, now is not the time to panic so you watch them carefully, the throbbing hasn’t started yet but you’re sure it’s going to.

Conner punches two men at the same time, sending them flying backward and onto the floor. Two men start to walk towards you and Gar, Gar still having his hands up. You look to Gar and you’re thinking the same thing. Do or die. You nod at him and Gar attacks on of the men, grabbing his gun and then yanking him by his head, into the wall while you grab the other man.

You grab the gun, shoving the gun into him with all of your force before using it as momentum to swing him around into the kitchen area. You twist the gun around, as the man loses his grip and use the weapon to drag him further to your level. You bring your knee up to knee him in the face before landing a hit to the back of his neck, sending him to the floor.

You and Gar look at each other with pride before the throbbing starts kicking in, right in the front of your head. Your eyes widened and you grab Gar by his jacket, yanking him down behind the center counter and to the floor just as another man starts shooting at the two of you.

“Thanks.” Gar says, breathing heavily.

“Got you.” You offer a nervous smile. The throbbing has moved to the side of your head where more men have started shooting and Conner is still dealing with a few others. “Got a plan?”

“I’ll distract them so you can move.” Gar rushes his words, ripping his jacket from his shoulders while his face turns green. “Keep fighting.”

You look above you seeing the block with all of the kitchen knives. You crawl to the left of Gar so you’re right under where the knives are, Gar fully transformed now. Gar walks out from the counter, growling at one of the men before he jumps on him. You take that as your chance to stand up, and immediately start grabbing knives. The throbbing starts coming from the back of your head and slightly to right. In a swift motion, you spin, hitting one of the men whose gun is aimed right at you. You hit him right where his neck peaks out of his protective gear. He drops to the ground, holding the wound where blood starts spraying out of it.

You take the knives, moving towards where Gar is to make sure he’s doing okay. Gar still has a guy pinned as a few more men come in, all aiming guns at you, Gar, and Conner and the throbbing intensifies, right in the front of your head but you’ve been training for this. You start throwing the knives with everything in you, one right after the other, hitting two men and they go to the ground but the throbbing switches to the side and it's all starting to mush together as you catch a glimpse of Gar slowly moving away from the man on the ground and he looks hurt. Two men are moving to either side of the counter to surround you so you throw your last knife at the guy to the right, turning to fight the other one.

You take the first swing but he uses the gun to hit you away, the butt of the gun connecting with the side of your face. Before you can regain your footing, you feel a hard hit to your right leg. You try to fight through it, trying to grab the gun from this man as well but he yanks it away and the world starts spinning around you. You sway slightly before going to the floor with a heaving breath.

You drag yourself up against the counters facing the windows, while your heart rate starts to slow. Your vision is blurry and warped as you look in front of you. Gar is leaning against the opposite counter with a heaving chest, no longer in tiger form. They shot him, too and there's a bloody handprint right before his head. This can't be happening. It can't be happening. You have to save him.

You look to your leg. There's a dart sticking out of your leg and you know that's not good but there's no real panic happening. You should be panicking, getting an extra boost of adrenaline, but it's like your entire body is shutting down, the adrenaline won't kick in. You pick up your arm to pull it out and your arm feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. It takes you a few tries to get your arm to line up with the dart. It's like your brain isn't quite connecting with your body and it's frustrating but eventually, you’re able to pull the dart out of your leg.

Gar looks to you and you lost. He was shot with a tranquilizer and he can't do anything to help. He's stuck here and you are so in over your heads. Everything is so heavy and it's hard to breathe. Gar can barely keep himself up right and he's watching you struggle to breathe in front of him. He really messed up this time. And he's fucking scared. They're gonna kill you both.

A woman comes in with more men, they walk in through the elevator and her voice sounds distorted to you as your eyelids grow heavier. You’re wheezing with every breath, trying to look over to Conner. You get a hazy glimpse of him just standing there. You have no clue what the hell is going on but what you do know, is that you are so screwed. And no matter how badly you want to get up and keep fighting, your legs won't work. Your arms are too heavy to lift and it feels like you’re in a fever dream. Every second is a struggle as the woman keeps talking and finally, you’re body gives out to the tranquilizer.

You don’t come to until the following day. You’re in the same spot you were before and your head still feels heavy and foggy. At first, you just feel a little disoriented and confused. For just a second, you forget what happened last night, aren’t sure why you’re on the floor in the kitchen. Your right leg where you were shot with the tranquilizer is sore. Your breathing is ragged while you look around slowly. But confusion clouds your mind as you look around slowly seeing broken glass and blood around you. And that’s when everything starts to become clear.

Gar, Conner, Krypto. Tranquilizer darts. Guns. Fighting.

A sense of panic washes over you as you look at the spot in front of your where you last saw Gar, the bloody handprint staring directly at you. Your head starts to throb, but not for fighting, just from a normal headache. You know Gar wouldn’t leave you here if he were still here and your heart breaks. They took him. They took all three of them and left you for dead. But you can’t focus on that, you need to get help. So, you start to get up.

You place your hands on the cool floor beneath you and push up. Your arms feel like limp spaghetti but you push through it. Tranquilizers are just an anesthetic and you know the more you come to, it’ll start to wear off. You need to just find a way to push through it. You lean forward, grabbing the counter for support as you lift yourself up, groaning as your leg feels like it has the worst Charlie horse of the century. You keep pressure off it as you get fully to your feet, your heart thundering through your ears. The whole room feels off and it’s starting to make your nauseous. 

You groan and pull out of your phone from your pocket. Your vision takes a second to focus on the screen as you go to your recent text thread, hitting the call button.

“Hey, it’s Jason. Leave a message or don’t.”

“Seriously, Jay? Answer your damn phone.” You huff into the phone. “The fucking was attacked. I’m hurt and CADMUS took Gar, Conner, and Krypto. Call me.” You hang up the phone, rolling your eyes before you start texting him.

You: Gar kidnapped, hurt, check your voicemail shithead

You let out a sigh and pull up Dick’s contact whose voicemail is now full. You grit your teeth before letting out a scoff. You pull up Kory’s number and that goes to voicemail. What is with these people? Can’t anyone answer a phone? Everyone has their phone attached to their hip, constantly on it but now there’s an emergency, everyone conveniently can’t answer? You grow more annoyed as you start making your way through all of the Titans. Donna, Dawn, Hank. You even try Rachel and not a single one of them can answer the phone either.

You nearly chuck your phone across the room. What the fuck are you supposed to do if you can’t get ahold of anyone to help? The boys could be getting tortured or killed right now and you’re stuck here, no backup. You’re all alone and hurt. The panic sets in as your hands start to shake and tears burn the back of your eyes. Your nose grows warm and you have no idea what you’re supposed to do. Your breathing quickens as the room starts to spin. You can’t do this on your own.

But, then your phone starts ringing, Donna’s name appearing on the screen.

"Hey—"

"Where are you?" You rush your words, wiping your eyes with your sleeve. "I need help, Gar was kidnapped with Conner and Krypto. Dick isn't answering the phone."

"Slow down, what happened?" Donna stops, looking around the street.

"Gar, Conner, and Krypto were kidnapped. We were attacked last night by the people looking of Conner." Your throat feels raw like sandpaper.

"Where are you?" Donna starts walking quickly.

"Still in the tower, they used s tranquilizer on me? I guess I don't know. I just came to."

"Stay there, do not move. I'm on my way."

"Thank you." You let out a breath, the smallest bit of relief coming over you. At least Donna called back.

You pocket your phone and you need to get yourself straightened out. You'll explain everything to Donna but you want to be ready for whatever Donna will come with to help them. You have to be ready.

You limp over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water, taking a few sips of it to ease the cotton mouth. The water is cool and helps perk you up a little bit. It helps the panic subside a little as you take a few deep breaths before you start limping to your room.

You grab new clothes to change into, getting a look at the damage a tranquilizer dart can cause. There's a deep bruise covering the majority of your thigh and you wince at the sight of it, understanding why it actually hurts to walk. It sucks and it hurts, but you’re honestly relieved that's all there is. Tranquilizers used for wildlife, something like a tiger for example, can kill people. You’re not really sure what type they used or the dosage, but you feel lucky to not be dead right about now.

While you change and grab your knives, you can't help but feel the guilt seep into your bloodstream like an infection. It's there and tugging at every part of you. You had them. You were holding your own just fine and you got that glimpse of Gar. That split second and it made you pause. You should have been able to take the last two. You should have been able to help Gar. And the more you think about it, you should have used your powers.

You were just so scared to use them. A part of you think the only reason you’re even still here right now is because they didn't know you have powers. Gar does. He made it obvious and maybe that's why they left you for dead but not him. And you think you should have tried because trying is better than nothing. You could have made a barrier around you and Gar, around the counter of some sort, maybe. You could have done something to try and protect all of you. And the more you think about it, the more the anxiety creeps in like the reaper waiting for you to finally cave in. Because, you think they would have taken you, too if you used your powers and you would have been held captive three fucking times. You don't think you would survive a round three. And you should have been able to save Gar, regardless.

The guilt is suffocating.

Donna comes up the elevator two hours later. You’re sitting in the living room, an ice pack to your leg while your phone is glued to your hand. Your eyes are trained on the text thread with Jason, several of your messages fill the screen from the last few hours. You chew the inside of your cheek and flip to Dick’s text thread, it looks similar to Jason’s.

���Y/n?” Donna calls with hesitance.

“Here.” You call, your voice flat.

Donna walks over, looking around the tower and seeing glass, blood, and knives covering the floor. “Are you okay?” Donna gets a look at the bruise across the right side of your face as you look up at her.

“Yeah.” You nod, keeping it short. “We have to save Gar. And Conner and Krypto. I’m fine.”

“What even happened?” Donna looks to the windows, every single one of them shattered.

“They came in through the windows first, started attacking. I don’t know. We had the alert for the roof but they came in before we could do anything.” You shrug, grabbing the ice pack as you stand up.

“And they took them but not you?”

You shrug once more and you get a distant look in your eyes. “Guess so, I, uh, I didn’t use my powers. Maybe that’s why. It’s CADMUS, we saw them earlier when we were out.”

“You saw CADMUS and you and Gar didn’t call anyone?” Donna almost yells.

You narrow your eyes. The last thing you want right now is to be told you fucked up. You’re very well aware of that right now. “Does it fucking matter? They were here within ten minutes of getting back and none of you answer your fucking phones anyway.” You let out a scoff and you hang your head for a second. “We tried.” You look back at Donna and Donna lets out a sigh.

“Okay,” Donna runs a hand through her hair before putting a hand on her hip. “You’re positive it was CADMUS?”

“That’s what the truck said and some woman came in. I don’t know what she was saying. They shot me with a tranquilizer so I was out of it. But, we have to save them. Who knows what fuckshit they’re doing to them.”

Donna pauses for a second and if it’s CADMUS, the two of you are gonna need some help. The others aren’t answering your calls and to be fair, the last time you all spoke, you were screaming at most of them. But, that’s not an excuse and Donna knows something is up. She hasn’t been able to reach Dick either.

“You’re gonna think of a plan, right?” You ask and there’s a hopefulness to your voice as you knit your brows together. As upset as you are with the Titans, Donna showed up and she looks worried. You have no choice but to rely on her.

“Yeah,” Donna nods. “I’ll start calling and trying to get some backup, we’ll need it.” You give Donna a soft nod while Donna pulls out her phone.

Before Donna can start making calls, she gets a phone call herself. You watch her carefully as Donna answers. Her brows knit together as she says Rachel’s name and you nearly roll your eyes. Not because it’s Rachel but because by the way Donna said her name, there’s something else happening. Everything is really crumbling around you right now.

“Rachel?”

“I think she’s in trouble?” Donna questions. “Have you heard from her?”

You blink at Donna. “Nope.” You pop the ‘p’. “Haven’t spoken to her since that day.”

“Right,” Donna sighs. “Well, we’ll need backup anyway so…we have to go help her.”

You let out a sigh, looking up and then back to Donna. “What about Gar? We know for sure he’s in trouble.”

“We can’t just walk into CADMUS by ourselves. We need help. Come on.” Donna turns on her heels, walking towards the elevator.

You let out a groan but limp quickly after Donna, catching up to her. You aren’t a big fan of the idea but Donna might have a point. If the four of you last night were no match for CADMUS, you and Donna won’t stand a chance even entering the front entrance. You hate it because Gar is in trouble right now and you going after Rachel means that’s more time CADMUS has with Gar. But, you’re given no choice in this matter and all you can do is follow Donna to the car and hope you’ll have some sort of plan to save Gar.

You and Donna start your drive to some place called Elko Diner and the ride is quiet. You keep your stare out of the window, thinking. You replay last night over and over, picking apart everything you could have done better. It’s not making you feel any better, you’re pretty sure it’s making you feel worse which at this point, a part of you thinks you deserve.

Donna glances over at you a few times, the silence between you feeling a little unsettling. In the short time you were at the tower together before everything went to shit, she heard you talk a lot. You were always talking to either Gar or Jason but you’ve been silent for an hour. Donna gets it, beating yourself up over everything that went wrong.

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” Donna finally asks.

You snap your attention to Donna. “Mhm, yeah, just…” You let out a scoff. “Wasn’t enough again.”

“You guys didn’t stand a chance against CADMUS. There was nothing else you could do. We’ll get the boys back.”

“Yeah.” Your word is short and quick. “Hope so.” You chew the inside of your cheek and you aren’t going to talk about the inner workings of your head with Donna. This is a three-hour drive to this diner. You can’t sit in complete silence the entire way so you’re going to try and talk this shit out. You’re going to have to trust Donna which means talking and letting some shit go.

“You were wrong, by the way. About Jason.” You change the subject, putting the spotlight on Donna.

“You’re still going on about that.” Donna lets out a sigh.

“Obviously.” You roll your eyes. “It was Rose. Gar and me found the footage and it was her. Like I said, not Jason. And I needed you to know that.”

“Rose? How did she even know any of that?”

“Her dad, apparently. She’s been working with him the whole time so all of us got played.” You look over to Donna who looks completely lost. “It’s a long story but yeah, that’s a thing. We don’t know how he knew anything though but…ya know.”

“Guess I owe the more annoying Robin an apology.”

“You all do.” You state, rolling your eyes.

“Hey, who else would have been?” Donna tries to defend herself.

“Doesn’t matter, he went to the roof and was gonna jump off but you’re all so self-absorbed that none of you cared to even offer an apology. Dick hurt your feelings so you got mad, fine but you all should have been nicer to Jason. His feelings and innocence were never any concern of yours.”

“We aren’t self-absorbed.” Donna lets out a scoff. “You don’t know us well enough to even have that opinion.”

“You made it obvious. If anyone would have done that shit, they wouldn’t have deserved to feel the way Jason did. It hurt your feelings what Rose did and that’s valid, but it never should have led Jason to the roof. Even now, you’re defending your distaste towards Jason when I’m telling you how he felt. Self-absorbed.” You look over at Donna with raised brows.

Donna clenches her jaw and maybe there is a point to be made with what you’re saying.

“Okay.” Donna says reluctantly. “We all could have handled it better. We owe him an apology.” Donna glances to you who still looks displeased. “He’s not….that…bad.”

You let out a laugh with Donna trying to get the words out in a single sentence. “He isn’t, he kind of reminds me of Dick sometimes. I think that’s why they butt heads so fucking much. But, yeah, you should apologize and kiss his ass.”

Donna scrunches her nose at the thought. “I am not kissing his ass.”

“It would be funny.”

“To who?”

“To me. I need a good laugh.” You let out a breath.

“I am sorry. You’re not Jason but…I’m sorry.” Donna glances to you for just a second.

“Thank you.”

You look in front of you and you let it go. Gar comes back into your thoughts and you worry all over again. You hate worrying so much. It’s exhausting and it clouds everything else in your mind. You can’t focus on worrying about him when you still have a two-hour drive ahead of you. You don’t have a plan. You have nothing right now. So, you try your best to push the guilt down and the thoughts of Gar away and start asking Donna questions about missions and the rope. You figure that might actually be a good distraction and maybe one of the stories will spark some sort of idea to help you save the boys.

You and Donna finally get to the diner, exiting the vehicle. You both take a second to look at the outside. It's in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farmland. You’re beginning to think this is the beginning to a bad Children Of The Corn movie. It's a bit unsettling and the diner looks rundown, old. But, Donna looks at you, jerking her head towards the diner before you both start walking and head inside. You're met with not only Rachel but Kory and Dawn as well. You look at everyone, already confused as to what the hell is going on here. How did they all know to meet up here?

"Is this real or am I going crazy?" Kory asks.

You look at Donna. "Am I still high?" You let out a huff, everyone snapping their attention to you.

"Tranquilizer, long story." Donna adds in.

There's a short pause before Dawn nods. "This is definitely real."

"Why are you following me?" Rachel's voice is snippy and annoyed as she looks at Donna. Now that's also weird. What the fuck is happening?

"Following—what? You called me and told me to come here." Donna states.

"No, I didn't." Rachel looks to you. "Why are you here?"

"Called Donna for help then you called Donna, I was there." You give Rachel a look of pure annoyance.

"My check engine light went out." Dawn states before looking at Kory. "Kory?"

"I'm just here for the donuts." Kory shakes her head.

Just then, the door opens again and everyone turns to see who could possibly be walking into this diner now. Your jaw about hits the floor as everyone else looks at the man who's dressed nicely.

"Bruce?" Donna asks.

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne." You let out a chuckle. "I'm definitely still high." Donna gives you a disapproving look.

"I'm so glad you all could make it." Bruce says.

All of you gather around, taking seats at different tables. You sit on one of the tabletops behind Kory, just looking past her to see Bruce. You all take turns filling Bruce in as to what's happened over the last few weeks. You all fill him in about Dick and Deathstroke, the events that lead to you and Jason being held captive as well as the detail to that. Bruce sits with one leg over the other, carefully listening to everything the five of you have to say.

"This is troubling news." Bruce says. "And no Conner or Gar?"

"No." Donna answers sadly.

"CADMUS has them." You state. "They attacked last night."

"What?" Kory gets a look of sadness as she looks at you.

"Hence the bruise." You gesture around it.

"I am aware of what's happened to all of you. And I...I'm sorry." Bruce states. "Lies can tears a family apart and hope been living in the aftermath of that. And it's a...lonely place to be. But this was a...this is...a family of choice. Breaking apart was a choice. In the light of this news, I'm asking you to make another one. To come together. Walking away from bad feelings is easy. It's much harder to take the blow, and come back for more, but that's what a family does. If you can unite, you can face any threat. But if darkness arrives while you're still cast apart, I truly believe that none of you will survive.." Bruce pauses as he stands up, the whole room growing eerie. " If you won't protect one another, who will?" Bruce asks with a nod before grabbing a biscuit and leaving the five of you to yourselves.

"That was fucking morbid." You mutter, understanding why Jason and Dick are so pessimistic right about now.

"Did he just leave?" Donna asks.

"Yup." Dawn answers.

"So, let's get this straight. Bruce Wayne somehow miraculously arranged for us all to meet in this diner in the middle of nowhere to mansplain us into putting the Titans back together?" Kory asks.

"Yup." Dawn answers as she gets up and puts her coat on. "I think that's exactly what just happened." Dawn lets out an exasperated sigh.

You’ve never met Bruce Wayne, you only know about him. He's always seemed a little weird to you but right now, that proves that thought. He just organized for all of you to get together, somehow. Gave you some weird ass speech and then leaves. He doesn't actually offer any help or anything. Just leaves.

Suddenly, there's a sound of static coming from the front of the diner. All of you get up and head to the front. You see an old TV, static on the screen before it switches to a news report.

"Today's top story. Two men escape Kane Jail, apparently aided by imprisoned Detroit police detective Dick Grayson. More details on this story and more on our next news update."

"That sure explains a lot." You let out a scoff. "He left us to get himself arrested."

"I'm sure he didn't do on purpose." Rachel snaps.

You roll your eyes in Rachel’s direction before looking to Donna.

"You got to be fucking kidding me." Donna states, her voice annoyed. She shakes her head and jerks it towards the door. "Let's go, Y/n."

"Finally." You let out a breath and follow Donna right on her heels out of the diner, the other women close behind.

"Donna, wait." Rachel calls.

"Troy, where are you going?" Kory asks.

"Back to San Francisco." Donna turns around to face them, you following suit.

"To save Gar and Conner." You quip.

"No, we need to save Dick." Rachel argues, stopping Donna before she can turn around and keep walking.

"Dick's on his own." Donna yanks her arm back.

"What is wrong with you?" Rachel asks.

"Me? Look, I know Dick Grayson, okay?" Donna starts. "He put himself up on that cross. Nailed himself to it. Now he's gonna have to take himself down, too."

"Donnas right. Whatever Dick's doing, he's doing to himself." Dawn agrees with Donna.

“He saved your life, Y/n!” Rachel turns it to you, knowing she won’t get anywhere with other women.

“Okay?” You shrug. “And Gar is like, important and didn’t get himself kidnapped on purpose so? You’re on your own here, buddy.”

“He saved us!” Rachel grows angrier with your response.

“Who the fuck cares!?” You snap. It doesn’t matter that Dick saved you. Gar needs your help.

“You should. You want to let him rot away in federal prison?” Rachel���s voice is offended this time.

“Yeah, kind of, Rachel.” You state with ease.

“How can you say that!?” Rachel yells. “He’s done so much for us!”

You roll your eyes. Yes, Dick has done a lot for all of you. But, so has Gar. Dick saved your life but Gar is your best friend. Gar is there for you and you’re there for him. Dick did this to himself. The choice is easy.

“Okay, guys—“ Kory tries to break it up.

“Dude, I, from the bottom of my heart, could not give less of a flying fuck right now.” You nearly breaks out into a fit of laughter. You’re so flabbergasted that Rachel is actually choosing Dick right now.

“How can you say that?” Rachel’s brows pull together as if she’s hurt by what you said.

“With ease, actually.” You quip, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly.

“We’re saving him, you don’t get a say,” Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and you’re done. This is ridiculous and you were already mad at her but this is the edge.

First of all, Rachel is not your keeper. Rachel doesn’t get to decide what you do or don’t do. And second, this isn’t her decision. Rachel doesn’t get to control what everyone else gets to do. Donna is with you on this one and you kind of want to see Rachel try to stop you.

You limp closer to her, getting in her face. “Fuck Dick Grayson and fuck you for being his fucking lap dog all the damn time. You know, I defended you a lot against Jason but I get it now.” You give Rachel a sinister laugh. “It doesn’t matter what Dick does because you’ll always be up his ass. He dropped us from a fucking skyscraper, he left me and Gar in charge of some random ass dude knowing people would be looking to hunt him down as if we had any business dealing with that alone. He got himself arrested on fucking purpose. Fuck Dick Grayson, got it?”

“Y/n, I think you need—“ Dawn starts, putting a hand on your shoulder.

You shrug her hand off. “Calm down? Fuck that. I’m sick of being calm about this shit. It’s always about fucking Dick.”

“As opposed to it being about you?” Rachel challenges.

Your eyes widen, shaking your head as if you can’t process what Rachel just said. What the fuck is she even talking about? “It’s not fucking about me, Rachel. This is about Gar!” Your voice echoes in the parking as you toss your arms out to the side. “CADMUS fucking took him! What part of that doesn’t seem urgent to you!? They hurt him and they took him and you’re so wrapped up about some guy that got himself arrested on purpose! That you left, may I remind you! None of it would have happened had he left Jericho alone but he didn’t. He started all of this shit. And now Gar is kidnapped and for all we know, they’ve killed him and your wounded puppy ass wants to help Dick!? They are probably torturing Gar right now because of his whole tiger thing. Over my cold dead body am I going to save Dick before I save Gar.” You huff in Rachel’s face.

This is insanity. It’s the last day at the tower all over again. Trying to get anything through Rachel’s head is worse than explaining rocket science to a brick wall. It is infuriating. You don’t get her at all. The whole time Rachel defends Gar and is on Gar’s side but when it fucking matters, it’s about Dick? You can feel your blood boiling and you’re already on edge. You’re not dealing with Rachel’s shit today.

Rachel stands her ground, unphased by you. “You’re saying I’m a wounded puppy?” Rachel crosses her arms, letting out a bitter laugh and you can feel yourself falling into the pits of rage. “You’re still mad about that stuff with Jason! That’s why you don’t want to save Dick. We’re going to get Dick and there’s nothing you do about it.”

“That’s it!” You bring your arm back, connecting your fist with Rachel's face as the other women jump in. Donna pulls you away while Kory checks on Rachel whose nose is bleeding. "Jason was fucking right about you!" You scream, fighting against Donna to let you go. "You're fucking nuts for actually siding with Dick right now!"

"You punched me!" Rachel screams, her nostrils flaring.

"Yeah, I fucking did! I punched you because I won't be telling Gar that you really wanna put him in last fucking place and I punched you for how you fucking treated Jason! You were the one that started that shit that led him to the roof! That punch is for my boys, so fuck you!"

“I didn’t choose Dick over Gar!” Rachel tries to take a step forward, Kory blocking her away from you. “You think because Jason helped you train behind Dick’s back that you take on anyone or anything.” Rachel snips. “You think you can do whatever you want, just like Jason! Look what happens when you do that!”

“First of all, it wasn’t behind Dick’s back. We were trying to be productive unlike you who took out your jealousy on Gar! Yeah, he told me what you said to him, asking if he growled at Dr. Light. I will defend those boys against the entire world. Dick has done a lot for us and while he pisses me the fuck off sometimes, I do like him and respect him but this was his choice.”

“Jason treats everyone like shit! Why can’t you see that!? He’s not even here! He left and you’re still defending him! Dick did what was best for us! How can you even stand her yelling at me!?” Rachel screams at you.

“You also left, Rachel! The irony is that somehow, amongst all of us standing here, I was the one that stayed! I chose to stay and everyone else bailed!” Sam screams past Donna, her throat growing raw. ”But I get why Jason left which is why, even when I wanna be mad, I can’t be. Because I get it. Gar and Jason are everything to me and I don’t know why that’s such a fucking problem for you. You're literally standing her talking shit about Jason when he's not even here and then choosing to get Dick out of prison instead of saving Gar's life! You're insane!"

“This is life or death! You should have used your powers! If I were there--”

“Here we fucking go. Round and round and round we go. Where we will stop on the Rachel has a fucking hero complex stop? Everyone deals with shit differently but the only way you can defend yourself is with your powers.” You glare at Rachel. “You have nothing besides your powers. Powers get you fucking killed and kidnapped, as has been proven in the last twenty-four hours. If you were there, you probably would have hurt Gar!”

“Fuck you!”

“Not even in your wildest dreams, Rachel!” You snark back.

“Gar deserves better than you! Okay, you wanna go find him and then what? You leave to hunt down Jason, right? You sound just like him, you train like him, you went through the same things. Both of you think no one likes you which is true! You guys put everyone in danger without ever thinking about anyone else! He left you! And for Deathstroke’s daughter!”

You let out a sinister laugh and it’s such a low blow. You don’t get how Gar is actually friends with her if this is how she treats people when she’s mad. And you hate to admit that comment actually hurt a little.

“We are friends, Rachel.” You grit your teeth and you’re done arguing about this shit. “I don’t know why the fuck you care so much about us. Is it guilt, maybe? That you aren’t going after Gar? Do you feel guilty so you’re trying to make me feel guilty enough to hunt down Jason instead of Gar so that way if Gar dies, you can again, point the finger at me?” You shake your head, disgusted with this whole argument. “Gar deserves better, you’re right and guess what. It’s why we’re friends. I chose Jason, despite him going with Rose but that’s none of your fucking business. We are friends, all of us. So, if you wanna keep throwing my feelings in my face, fucking fine. But I can live with my decisions, can you?” You let out a sigh as you stop fighting against Donna. “I’m done fucking arguing about this shit with you. It’s not fucking worth it. Do whatever the hell you want but I’m going to save Gar.” You turn away from her and start walking towards Donna’s car.

Rachel lets you walk away, letting the argument simmer in the air. It’s more than Dick being there for her and saving her. Gar has done that, too and she does care about him. Gar is her best friend, too. But, there’s more to it and she was hoping she wouldn’t have to come clean about it but it doesn’t look like she’ll get so lucky. 

“That was…” Donna start.

“Dramatic.” Kory mutters.

Rachel stands there with wide eyes and decides to come clean. “I’m having dreams again.”

You pause, turning around to face Rachel.

"I was at Dick's funeral. Deathstroke killed him. Look, I know that I sound crazy. I know that. But Dick needs my help. And I really need yours. Please." Rachel’s voice is pleading, almost breaking as she asks for help.

You put your hand on your hip because this is ridiculous. Rachel's demeanor might have changed and it's obvious she is honestly worried about Dick. You understand dreaming about someone and seeing them die. It is terrifying and Rachel's dreams sometimes mean something. But at the end of the day, Dick got all of you into this mess in the first place. That's still fact. Gar being in danger is still fact. You don't know about Dick, not for certain. And it seems Dawn and Donna are on the page.

"I'm sorry, Rachel." Donna says. "But Gar needs us more." Donna finishes before she walks back to the car and gets in, you follow right behind and get into the passenger seat. "Do you feel better?" Donna looks to you, sarcasm in her words and clearly annoyed by the whole argument.

"So, much, I didn't realize how much I had been holding in. I feel so much better now. Gar is right, talking about things helps."

"I don't think what you did there was talking but sure." Donna shakes her head and sees Dawn coming to the car. "Alright, backseat." Donna looks to you and you don’t protest. You do as told and climb into the backseat while Dawn opens the passenger door.

You buckle your seatbelt while Donna puts the car in drive and takes off. You lean forward between the women.

"Well, I would like to apologize for my ranting and airing out some of my dirty laundry, that was weird of me. Uh, yeah, so sorry for that." You nod at the two of them, offering an awkward, closed-mouth smile.

Donna can't help but let out a soft laugh and Dawn gains a smile.

"Just don't punch Rachel again, okay?" Donna asks.

"I will try very hard not to." You let out a sigh. "So, uh, what's the plan?"

"We're going back to San Francisco. And we're gonna get Gar back. We can look at the footage and run facial recognition. One of them has to be able to give us information." Donna explains.

"Sick." You nod, you’re just relieved you're actually going to be doing something to save Gar now.

You lean back in your seat, the adrenaline dump from your argument with Rachel starts to hit and the tranquilizer has some lasting effects. The exhaustion starts to hit you, slowly and then all at once. But you feel safe in the car with Donna and Dawn. It's getting late now so you decide to just rest your eyes, just until you get back to the city.

When you wake up, you're back at the tower. You don't have anywhere else to stay so the three of you make your way through the elevator. You didn't clean anything up before you left so there's still blood and glass across the floor. You were feeling a lot better after yelling at Rachel and having Donna and Dawn on your side. But that feeling fades as you look around the tower. It feels emptier now than it did that day everyone left. You don't like it. But you excuse yourself to your room and try to get some rest until the morning.

Sleep did not come easy. And when it did come, it was broken up between different nightmares. There was a nightmare about you being dropped from the skyscraper, one version Dick dropped you and in another Jason dropped you. Another nightmare was Gar being killed by CADMUS in front of you. Another was Jason killed by Deathstroke and the last one that finally convinced you to not sleep anymore, was both boys being killed. By Deathstroke. That was enough for you.

It worked out timing-wise because Dawn and Donna were both awake, and the tower had been cleaned up. That's when Donna fills you in on the plan. Donna found a guy with facial recognition and they're gonna go to him. You’re told to stay in the car because he might recognize you and they're guessing CADMUS only left you because they thought you were dead or would be. You aren't a big fan of the idea but you also get it. If he recognizes you, he'll know what's up and it could end worse for all of you and Gar so you go along with the plan. You grab a quick breakfast before the three of you make your way to the man's house.

Once at the man's house, Dawn turns around in her seat, looking at you. "Okay, what's the plan, Y/n?" Her voice isn't exactly asking but more looking for verification that you aren't going rogue.

"I promise I will not leave the car." You promise them. 

"Good, now stay here." Donna has a stern voice as the two older women get out of the car.

You let out a sigh and slide back in your seat, unbuckling your seatbelt. You take out your phone and go to your messages with Jason. You still haven't heard from him. So, you try again. You have nothing else to do while you wait for the women to do their thing and you’re actually getting really worried. There has to be something going on. Even if Jason is just trying to enjoy his new relationship with Rose, he would call or text given the entire CADMUS situation.

The line trills and you chew on the inside of your cheek. You think he won't answer. He hasn't in a few days anyway but you wait patiently, almost holding your breath. And then he picks up.

"What!?" Jason yells.

"Uh.....hello to you, too?" You question.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Ouch. You pause and it hurts with him yelling at you. You didn't do anything. Does he suddenly not care about Gar? About you? What is with everyone?

"Dude, what's going on?" You ask hiding the hurt in your voice.

"Nothing, what?" Jason huffs.

"You sound upset? What's going on, Jay?"

"Why the fuck did you call?"

This is not a good time. Jason is on his way to leave, to go somewhere else that's not here. Things, in his opinion, were going pretty well with Rose. He was making a solid effort and letting her in. They were doing some drug busts and it was fun. It allowed him to escape from the tower and all of that bullshit the other Titans put him through. But, he's just had a blow-up with Rose because as it turns out, she's been lying to him the whole time. He let another fucking person in and all she did was lie and use him. This is not a good fucking time for him.

"I've been trying to reach you for like three days." You drop asking him what's wrong, he's clearly not going to tell you.

"Bullshit, I haven't gotten a fucking call from you at all."

"I literally called you yesterday, hold on." You take the phone from your head and screenshot your call log, sending the screenshot to Jason and then taking a screenshot of the texts, sending them to him. "I just sent screenshots."

Jason takes the phone from his head and looks at the messages. There he can see that you have not only called him about a hundred times but you’ve also texted him at least, an entire page full of messages. He reads them over, seeing none of them in his actual message thread with you. A lot of them are question marks or begging him to call you back.

"What the fuck?" Jason yells into the phone.

"I told you." You state. "What? You didn't get any of them?" You furrow your brows and you knew something weird was going on. Jason wouldn't abandon you and Gar.

"Fucking Rose probably deleting them." Jason lets out a scoff ad he's not even sure if he's more mad at himself for trusting Rose or at Rose for lying to him.

"Ah," You nod your head. "She had your phone?"

"I wasn't with it the whole fucking time. She wanted us to spend time alone, without our fucking phones. Know why now, huh?" Jason's voice breaks and he's just so fucking mad. This is why he doesn't trust anyone, it's why he doesn't show anyone those parts of him. They use him and exploit him. They take and take and take but never give. It fucking hurts. And you’re unusually silent on the other end. "What?" Jason sounds completely exasperated.

You hesitate, almost debating on telling him but that wouldn't be fair. "Did you get our texts about her? Mine and Gar's?"

"Nope."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Jay. She working—"

"With her fucking dad? Yeah, she just fucking told me. She was using me and lying to me this whole fucking time!" Jason sniffles and you swear a part of your heart just broke for him. Why would anyone do that to him? He doesn't deserve it. That explains why he's so mad.

"I'm really sorry, Jay," Your voice is quiet. "We didn't know she had your phone." You pull the phone away and switch it to FaceTime. You figure maybe if you see each other face to face, it'll help calm him down. You can give him a smirk and a grin, he'll play along. Maybe it'll help. It would help you.

Jason goes along with it, seeing you in a car, a nasty bruise decorates your right cheekbone, the bottom of your eye socket a lighter shaded bruise. His heart plummets with the sight of you. He feels more anger start to flood his blood. He's going to find whoever hurt you. What the fuck did he miss?

"Not your fault." Jason lets out a huff and immediately drops it. He doesn't want to talk about it anyway. "What the fuck happened to you?" The worry creeps into his voice as he asks.

You see Jason's nostrils flare and a part of you definitely forgot the bruise. You shake your head. "Uh...right, um," Your brows furrow as you look down and Jason knows you do that whenever you don't want to tell him something. He's picked up on it. "CADMUS came and broke into tower. They took Gar, Conner and Krypto." You look back to the camera, letting out a breath.

Jason shakes his head, closing his eyes for a second and for just a fraction of a second, he feels relief because they didn't take you. He can’t imagine you getting taken three fucking times. That’s insane but you’re hurt anyway and now they have his best friend.

"What the fuck does that mean? They took them?"

"Uh-huh." You nods. "I was spamming the fuck out of you. They broke in, guns. Um...one of em, uh, ya know. I lost." You let out a scoff as the guilt floods your system again. "Donna and Dawn are trying to get answers from a guy now."

"What the fuck." Jason lets out a quiet sigh.

Rose had the idea yesterday to shut their phones for the day, and not be bothered by any outside bullshit. Jason went along with it, he kind of thought you and Gar weren't talking to him, he hadn't heard from you. Maybe you were having fun alone or something. But, apparently, it was all Rose and he feels so stupid for all of it. For not seeing through it.

"Are you okay?" Jason’s eyes scan across her face and he wishes he were there. 

"Dunno." You chew the inside of your cheek, your brows knitted together. "I tried so fucking hard but it wasn't fucking good enough, ya know? They just kept fucking coming, Jay. There were too many and I ran out of kitchen knives. They shot me with a tranquilizer and left me for dead. But, they...but they took Gar. He shifted into a tiger and maybe that's why. I didn't use my powers. I wasn't useful, maybe. I don't know but it fucking sucks. I couldn't--" You cut yourself off, feeling the lump grow in your throat. "I couldn't save him. It wasn't fucking enough and I wasn't fucking good enough." Your voice breaks.

Jason wants to personally hunt down every man from CADMUS that attacked the tower. For taking Gar and for hurting you and making you feel this way. That’s his best friend they took and it’s bullshit. And you fight like hell, he knows for a fact you tried your absolute hardest but it’s CADMUS. He doesn’t need to have been there to know whatever you did was enough.

"Hey," Jason calls. "Don't do that shit, alright? It's not your fault. I wasn't there but I know you fought like hell because you did for me. That's fucking enough." Jason pauses and you nods softly. "I'm fucking serious. You grabbed the kitchen knives?" Jason chuckles. "Smart, guessing you fought until the tranquilizer kicked in?"

"Still tried after." You let out a soft laugh. "My arms and legs just wouldn't move."

Jason lets out a soft laugh. "Exactly so it's not your fault." Jason’s face softens slightly and it does make her feel better.

Seeing Jason face-to-face is helping in general. His hair is messier than usual and his eyes are red, but there’s something comfortable about seeing him that you haven’t felt since he left. He knows exactly what to say and he laughs about the kitchen knives. No one else would but it makes you feel better. Not fully, but enough. And you do really miss him.

"Thanks." Your smile falls and you clear your throat. "You okay?"

Jason shrugs and starts pacing. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's okay if you're not. She fucking sucks for lying to you."

"Yeah, no shit." Jason offers a half-scoff half-laugh.

"I'll beat her up if you want." You offer Jason a smirk to try and cheer him up.

It seems to work because Jason gives you a laugh and a smile. "Yeah? Think you stand a chance of all sudden?"

"I punched Rachel, I could take Rose, now."

"You punched Rachel?" Jason lets out a booming laugh and he can't believe it. He would have loved to have seen it. "Why?"

You shrug. "She made me mad and I was exhausted. I just couldn't fucking do it anymore." Your eyes widen, as if to be mocking the situation.

Jason has a grin and he does feel a little better. "She attack you?"

"No," You shake your head. "She just yelled at me. Kory and Dawn held her back while Donna held me back. It was all very dramatic, you would have loved it." You give him a teasing smirk. "But, hey, we need you, Jay. Gar needs you. We can't do this alone." 

Jason's smile falls and it still hurts, the way the Titans attacked him for shit he didn't do. It's still an open wound and he's not sure it'll ever heal. They don't want him and he's tired of being in places he's not wanted.

"Look, they don't want me."

"Donna texted you last night." You state.

"Fucking seriously." Jason groans and he's so mad at himself for not seeing through Rose, for not knowing it was weird not to have heard from you and Gar, for not being the one to text either of you. Phones work two ways. Jason just thought you were kind of done talking to him, living it up as a couple or whatever. You weren't interested in him anymore since you and Gar had each other. He should have sent at least one more text when he didn't get a reply from either of you.

"Uh-huh. She said she would try and I guess Rose deleted that, too."

"What the fuck, man?"

"So, uh, you gonna come?" You ask hesitantly and Jason sees the worry across your face.

"Gar's my best friend but I don't—"

"Jay, he needs you, please." You plead with him and you pause for just a second. "I need you." Your voice goes quiet and you do. This whole thing would have been a little easier if he were around, even just to talk to.

Jason lets out a sigh. He can't say no to you even if he feels unwanted around the other Titans. You look desperate and you’re always there for him. You’re the one person who doesn't give up on him and he knows he can't let you do it alone.

"Alright, fine." Jason nods his head. "I'll help get Gar back and then I'm gone."

"Deal." You smile sadly at him. You know it'll be temporary but at least he'll come back to help. You all definitely need him.

Jason shakes his head. "Hey, seriously, you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, uh....just...traumatized." You let out s scoff. "Shocker, huh?"

"Hey, look, fuck those assholes, we'll show them who they're fucking with."

"Thanks, Jay," You offer him a soft smile. "I don't know. Feel a whole lot better once we sort it out."

"I'll find a way, I swear. Text me where you need me and I'll be there. I'm not fucking staying but I won't let you do this alone."

"I knew I could count on you."

"Always, babe." Jason gives you his cheeky grin.

You almost hate to admit it, but you kind of miss him calling you that, too. You have to laugh, looking away from the camera.

“Shithead.” You mutter and Jason chuckles on the other end. He misses hearing you call him that. With anyone else, he’d be annoyed but not with you. "I'm still sorry about Rose." You look back to the camera, smile erased with a look of empathy.

"Eh, you were right." Jason shrugs a shoulder.

It hurts. Jason hasn't been in many relationships. With living on the streets and his home situation, it was never something he ever had time or energy for. He's had heartbreak, sure, but this one is different. He was in a stable enough place for something and it ended like this. Broken trust and more betrayal. It just really hurts a lot more than Jason really wants to admit to anyone. It feels a little embarrassing even.

"I wish I wasn’t though. That's not fair to you and you deserve someone who's not gonna treat you like shit and lie to you. You deserve better always."

He’ll never understand why you are the way you are with him. But, he’s thankful for you.

"Thanks."

You look to the window, seeing the women coming back. "Hey, they're coming back, I'll text you and call you okay? Just, uh, see if you can pull a string with Bruce and get on a flight."

"Who says I'm in Gotham?" Jason looks around him and he doesn't know how you know that but he can't say he's surprised. Of course, you would know where he went.

"It's home." You chortle. "Where else would you go?"

"Yeah, alright, fuck you."

"Mmm," You hum and decide you'll leave him with your game of chicken. "Maybe I'll get you lucky one day." You smirk at him and Jason shakes his head, eyes closing for a second before the looks back to the screen. The comment throws him off because shouldn’t you be...with Gar? You let out a laugh and seeing him confused and flustered never gets old. "Alright, get a fucking flight, Jason."

"Alright, don't do anything stupid until I get there." Jason nods at you, his cheeks a tint of pink.

"Course not, I only do stupid shit when I'm with you." You give him a wide smile. "See you in a bit, Jay." You hang up just as the women enter the car.

"Okay, we need backup." Donna starts. "No Rachel, no Kory. Nothing from Jason or Rose either."

"Jason's coming." You scoot closer to the women, the both looking back at you. "It's a long story, he wasn't getting our messages. I just got through though, he said he'll come to help Gar. I just gotta text him what we know."

"Okay, good, this is good." Donna says.

"Nice work." Dawn gives Sam a kind smile.

"I am very annoyingly persistent." You scrunch your nose.

"Let's get a plan together then." Donna smiles at the two of you before putting the car in drive and driving off.

prev. chapter | next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo​ // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders​ // @purplerose291​ // @lovelessamai​  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss​ // @ghostkingblake​ // @im-done-with-this-im-out​ // @velvetskies​ // @lilylovelyxo​ // @cryinghotmess​ // @yesimwriting​ // @vivian-555​ // @anthemabby​ // @baebeepeach​​

[fayesdiary]

6, 8 and 30 for the meme?

6) Who's your favorite lord/protagonist?

Celica and Micaiah are two other huge favorites! I've spoken on length on why i love them so... Yeah, I think they're neat and every time someone says something mean about them I love them more out of spite.

8) Least favorite lord/protagonist?

....Ephraim.

Before I inevitably get booed off the stage, hear me out.

I have two major problems with Ephraim: First is that his arc of becoming a less reckless, wiser leader feels entirely informed when he spends the entire story charging in and stabbing whatever's in front of him and it keeps working, but the second, far bigger problem I have with him is that he constantly makes Eirika look like an idiot for trying to clean up after him.

Biggest offender being the early chapters where Ephraim is the one who has the brilliant idea to charge into Grado with only three other men and engage in guerilla warfare for nothing other than his lust for battle, when Eirika chases after him to rescue him because this shit will inevitably get him captured or killed, guess what?

By plot contrivances, she is the one who gets captured and Ephraim's the one to rescue her. Fuck off game, seriously.

Also in the Eirika Route she fails to save Queen Ismaire despite having the entire army on her side and Ephraim apparently manages to conquer Grado all by himself along with probably a bunch of green units, for all they're worth.

Granted, I haven't played Sacred Stones in years so I could very well remember things to be worse than they actually are, but... yeah. Doesn't help that no one seems to really criticize Ephraim because according to mainstream fandom, the quality of a lord's writing depends entirely on how many people they stab. The more people they stab, the better written they are.

30) Since horse abuse is currently popular on Tumblr, beat up a dead horse with your take on an oversaturated topic🐴

Phoenix Mode was not only an harmless inclusion in Fates but it should have become a mainstay in the series. If someone wants to play Fire Emblem like a visual novel, then by all means let them.

And this is more of a complaint I have with the gaming community in general, but for the love of Sothis shut up about difficulty settings and stop complaining about how people don't play single player games the way you want them to.

[marithlizard]

I liked “Exes and Ohs” much better than “Seeing Stars”, even though I have a few complaints about the plot; it feels like season two is starting to hit its stride. We needed to put Stolas and his relationship with Blitzo on the back burner for a bit and get some time with the imps. 

Live reaction-notes:

- The backgrounds of the IMP office raise so many questions.  Blitzo why did you make a transphobic horse OC?   How did you get a bust of yourself made?

(Immediate theory:  A sinner who was a sculptor in life offered to make it as part of their payment.  It makes sense that IMP would accept barter because sinners don't always have a lot of cash, especially when they're new.  That would explain why we see new art around the office all the time.)  

- Moxxie. My dude.  MOXXIE. Loona does not think you are fat.  She just knows it upsets you.  There is no way you can logically disprove her bullying. Do not let her stress you into an eating disorder or keep you from enjoying food.

- Millie WTF?  Did a human beat you in combat?  That hasn't happened since back in episode 1.  I want to know what has you so mad but I'm also now invested in the relationship drama going on over on that whiteboard.  King Slut is going to get what's coming to him and Blue Cheese needs better taste in side hoes.

- Wouldn't it be funny if Millie's ex was - Nahhhh.

- What are those photos spilling out of the filing cabinet?  Does IMP have a sideline in PI-style snooping?  Is that...normal for furry cosplay sex?    

-Oh, it's just Blitzo's porn stash.  I'm sure Stolas would be into using those costumes and quite possibly they have, but I don't really wanna imagine it. But I do want to imagine M&M  trying to alphabetize the collection.

- As most of us guessed,  IMP was a regular hell-side hitman outfit before they got the book.  It's interesting that Blitzo doesn't seem interested in taking local jobs anymore.  Surely they could use the money.  

- C for Crimson on the driver's cap, but no recognition on Moxxie's face yet.  And we're goin'  back to the Greed ring!    (Moxxie said he was raised in Wrath, though, I thought. So he lies about his past.)

- Blitzo is still obsessing about M&M, but he's gone several episodes now without a single abusive rant at Moxxie. He is seriously trying to do better after "Truth Seekers".  

- Loona really doesn't belong at this company, does she.   Nobody acknowledged her existence except Moxxie this whole episode.  I hope we see her find a place that suits her better soon.

- "Elevator Hangar 03".  So even flights between Rings take the elevators. That suggests helicopters are what gets used, rather than planes that can't hover.

- Fizzarolli's adult clown look was modeled after Mammon, wasn't it?  

- Uhh..is that demonstrative violence, or is it actually pretty hard to permanently kill an imp?  Hmmmmmmm.

- You might wanna ask questions when the guy who was raised here has an immediate panic attack and starts yelling "No no no" as soon as you arrive, guys?  Blitzo, how have you lived this long being this vulnerable to flattery and this unable to recognize danger signals?

- All the trophies on the walls reminding us of the murder family.  (Are those little hearts between the succubus wings the ends of their tails?) Blitzo's "please do not ask me details about my lucrative circus career" expression.

- WHAT? CALLED IT I CALLED IT OMG  wow he's an idiot he's just stepped in the door and I want him dead already.  Did you just say "two big sex reunions"?  Excuse me those claws do not look practical even if most demons are into pain play. If you were really a sex god you’d have a couple of them trimmed all the way down.

- Blitzo erupting in jealousy.  Yes, there's someone who's fucked both of them and it was not you.  At least you haven't also slept with Chaz (although I am putting that down to chance and not any kind of good taste on your part).  

- Huge-eyed baby Moxxie!  Mom in shadow, what is she holding? flowers?  Blitzo how can you possibly be this slow on the uptake?

- I am distracted from the cute grenade moment by the aesthetic atrocity that is Chaz's tail.  What. How do you put on pants.      It does seem to have been an actual relationship, though, or at least a fling.    Moxxie get that nostalgic smile off your face oh my GOD that wasn't nostalgia.

- "Draw me like one of your French imps", huh?  oh. Oh dear.  Millie is 1000% better than this dirtbag in every possible way, why are you regretting him at all?

- HI BLITZO! Huh, they let him keep his boots in jail.  Loona surely does not have a babysitter. Was he that overprotective?  Or was he bullshitting? If so, it worked, you can see Moxxie’s face change at the idea of this guy as a loving dad. (Which he is! It just...works better if people imagine Loona is a young kid.)

- I thought that might be what Moxxie sees in Blitzo.  Someone who gave him a way out of his old life, someone who's proven trustworthy despite his flaws. Not quite sure how to interpret Blitzo's expression on hearing this.   A mixture of touched and regretful?

- Yeah, you fuck him up, MillWHOA that is a level of rage I did not expect.  What did Chaz do to HER?  

- PFFT  Blitzo reverses it because "horseless friendfucker" is what Chaz is as far as he's concerned.  

- Is Blitzo thinking:  I don't talk about my dick like that.  Do I? Please tell me I'm not this fucking obnoxious.   Oh god keep this guy FAR away from Stolas.

- What the FUCK, Crimson.  Homophobia, contempt, abuse, you're clearly the whole package, but you redecorated with neon dicks to insult your son?

- At least someone's happy.

- We're consistently not seeing mom's face and it is weirding me out.  ohno.  Not hard to tell where this is going.  oh NO.  

- Moxxie's tenderheartedness in "Murder Family" isn't so funny anymore is it.  Burn the fucking mansion down, Moxxie.  Millie will help and I doubt Blitzo will be opposed.   I didn't see them confiscate your phones, so text  them.

- Chaz you are making Blitzo look modest and tasteful.

- I completely forgot we hadn't had a musical number yet.  Can we - can we skip it this once?

- BLITZO

- Did he just say "chill the fuck out?" Is he not having fun over there because I really hope he is not.  I hope this is the worst lay of your life, Blitzo.

- Well, he doesn't look like he had fun.  At all.  Was this a ploy?  No, he’s just an opportunistic chaos gremlin.

- Uh. Moxxie I admire your spine here, but not your brains. How are you going to keep him from cutting bits off Millie until you give in?  I certainly hope you did something useful with that phone earlier.  (Spoiler: He did not.)  

- Oh! Blitzo's feet are just shaped like heeled boots.  Wacky.

- Now THAT'S more the musical number I wanted.  

- Millie. 10/10 no notes.  Perfection.   I'm not even gonna ask how they had enough time to repaint the banner and retrieve Blitzo's clothes (you know he'll be back in his own coat next episode).  

[originemesis]

@chasingrainbcws xxx

...This misogynistic, arrogant, obnoxious piece of... !

❝ I told you already, I am not signing off on that proposal ! It's a bunch of nonsense that's either totally perverted or genocidal, and only serves you. So unless you're willing to discuss the changes I suggested, it looks like you're gonna miss your reservation. ❞ Fuck, it takes every ounce of self control she has to use the word reservation, instead of booty-call. Don't stoop to his level, Charlie. Despite insisting that she had work to do, she wasn't budging on this matter; she'd sit here all night if she had to, until they came to an agreement... which, in truth, she didn't see as a feasible outcome. He was too selfish, too stubborn, and too... Adam.

He's starting to suspect her father sent her just to fuck with him given how unbudgingly Karen she's being about a little tender loving genocide spread evenly across all rings of hell vs the dead horse of pride he keeps beating. Well! Two could play that game. Only he'd be the one winning.

"So what you're saying is-" He remarks with a bored flick of the wrist, his gaze settling on the ever tidy ends of buffed talons like he was considering the sharpness needed to pierce and pin her arm into the signing position. "you didn't read shit. Interesting strategy, not gonna lie ~ but! That's not going to cut it in the diplomacy department. Maybe you should let 'daddy dearest' take back over these visits if you're going to be a little bitch about it." Welp- they're definitely sharp enough, but like hell he's getting her gross demon blood on his robe and scuffing his mani.

Garish gaze flicking back over to find her seething exasperation, he spares her a calculating smirk, neck cracking beneath its company of golden spikes. If she doesn't like to actually read his doodle filled proposals, this might just work in his favor. "Riiiight- changes. The ones that were so unimpactful that I crossed them out. Yikes- am I right?" Palms flatten and follow his shrug over the shoulder line before he leans back into his seat- or rather the portal he forms in his chair to appear behind her in the blink of an eye, looming around the back of her chair, talons drumming impatiently along the table's edge.

"Why don't we discuss them...?" A snap and a portal beneath them later, their discussion table has silverware and wine glasses. The embassy is now an open balcony and a single candle lit table with the only semblance of company being the muffled laughs and conversations happening below the private seating area. "-over dinner? Believe me, babe ~ I'm a lot more 'agreeable' fed." A dig to hell never providing meeting snacks? Perhaps. Either way, better for her to think that men are controlled more with their stomachs than their dicks.

Plopping into his new seat across from her with a lazy arm hooked over the back of his chair, he beckons the shuffled documents up into the air and flicks through them one by one with the unenthusiastic energy of a swiping-left-athon. Whether he's actually reading them instead of the menu that got swept up with the rest of the paperwork is anyone's guess.

[fowlblue]

oc question things!

14, 16, 41 for literally any one of the lot (or all!)

And A or G for all as well?

Hell yeah let’s do this-

(thought it might be fun to have them answer some of these, lol)

14). What animal do their fear most?

Valentine: “…I don’t really care for horses. They look like they know too much.”

Tim: “Spiders. I’m not a fan of… anything about them, really. The whole ‘skittering’ thing, their webs… gross.”

Jon: “I don’t like mice. Or roaches. Those kinds of things. Usually they don’t make it all the way up the Needle, though, so I’m good.”

Butler: “Trolls. Next question.”

16). What makes their stomach turn?

Valentine: “…Brakes. The sound of brakes squealing. Let’s go with that.”

Tim: “Cooking… meat, I guess? Sometimes I can’t even be in the kitchen while Butler is working- it brings up bad memories. Especially if it burns.”

Jon: “Blood on my suit. Or in my hair. That shit’s nasty.”

Butler: “…I feel like I’ve seen too many people die to give that a fair answer, but the ‘look’ of the dead is something one never forgets. Especially when you have died once, yourself.”

41). How do they feel about children?

Valentine: “Not for me- but I don’t, like, hate them? They’re noisy. They’re funny, sometimes. That’s about it.”

Tim: “I love my own children dearly, of course- more than words can say. But others’ children make me feel… awkward, I suppose? I don’t really know what to do with them, and the looks on their faces when they first see mine don’t feel very good. If their own parents are present to keep an eye on them, it’s fine- minding the twins is enough of a handful for me.”

Jon: “Kids are fun- they got the funniest fuckin’ sense of humor. The world hasn’t gotten to em’ yet. Sometimes I wish I had some, but I’d be a pretty shit parent, I think.”

Butler: “I hardly think Artemis could be considered a normal child, but having helped raise two of them, children are perfectly fine. I don’t think I would know what to do with a child born to a normal life, however. What kind of mischief would that even entail? I’m too used to…” *gestures vaguely at Fowl Manor* “-all of this.”

A). Why are you excited about this character?

I love all my bastard men so much- I don’t really have a set reason as to why, I just do. They’re so fun to play mix-n-match with, situations-wise, and I love that I’ve given some of them a slightly stronger presence in the fandom! Also, I just. Love that people love Valentine, lol- it makes me really happy

G). What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Valentine- It is very hard for me to word the specific kind of violent/volatile nature Valentine has. I really don’t want to project this idea that he’s a guy who just loves beating up and harming random people, because he doesn’t. He just has very little qualms about killing people in his way, and gets violent specifically with enemies that have managed to piss him off. But it’s still annoying to write.

Tim- Tim… my guy… you have a good heart, I know it, the peace you want and the life and safety you want for your family is all great things… please word the things you say better.

Jon- Honestly, I can’t think of anything?? Like he’s such an asshole but… that’s his whole thing. Jon is a cartoonishly evil businessman, down to the T. If I was mad about that, it’d be like getting mad at The Riddler for riddling or something.

Butler- Butler is so stoic and stubborn about admitting literally anything the Fowls/Butlers/Artemis does is fucked up, or that the whole dynamic thing is fucked up, or any of that. Please my man, recognize that your life and childhood have had a massive thread of “that’s fucked up, actually”… and maybe have a good cry about it. You need one.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 14: Yurak Gets His Pink Slip

Betrayal episode? I sure hope so

Yurak is heading towards Arus again, but surprisingly the team is already waiting Good for them, they're learning to plan ahead

THE CAMERA ZOOMED ON GREEN LION AND NOW I HAVE THIS SHOT OF PIDGE BEING A CUTIE AS ALWAYS LOOK AT HIM HOW ADORABLE

Are the lions actually mystical in the original? I swear they were supposed to just be ships, but I guess not because they growled a bit and looked towards Yurak's incoming fleet The pilots only looked AFTER the lions made noise, interesting

I get that they have to fill the more or less fighting scenes with some talking but did they really have to call out every weapon before an attack the lions are voice activated LMAO

WHEN THE HELL DID BLACK LION GET A CHEST LASER I FEEL LIKE THAT SHOULDN'T BE A WEAPON HE HAS BUT ??

Apparently that's all it took to take an entire battle cruiser down because that thing is GONE Yurak survives of course

Zarkon has a council under him?? Interesting

"You're a born loser, and you know how violently ill it makes King Zarkon to lose!" GODDAMN HAGGAR, I wish modern cartoons would stop pulling punches like older ones did

BANISHMENT FOR YURAK RAAAA And Zarkon slaps him for begging for mercy how fun

AYO LOTOR GETS INTRODUCED THIS EPISODE?? THIS IS GOING TO GET BOTH REALLY BAD AND REALLY FUN Rip to Allura though she gets no rest after this episode

Oh shit Zarkon actually hugged Lotor?? And gave him words of encouragement That's the only time we're seeing that lol

Lotor is now commander, everything is falling into place

Back at the castle, Pidge is teaching the mice acrobatics and it's very cute lol

An attack begins and Lotor is making demands, not even stopping when he sees Allura though he does have a slight interest in her Very weird compared to the obsession I'm used to seeing of him, maybe that's just a fandom thing

Every time I see horses in dotu I keep thinking of one of the voltron comics that had weird purple and earless horses to show the team was on an alien planet LMAO

DID KEITH JUST JUMP A FUCKING RAVINE WITH A HORSE?? WHAT KIND OF MINECRAFT PHYSICS IS THIS

"It appears we are evenly matched" "oh yeah?" "except when it comes to brains!" LOTOR PROCEEDS TO BASH KEITH ON THE HEAD WITH A ROCK AS IF THEY WERE CAIN AND MOTHERFUCKING ABEL

keith slams his face HARD into rock how is his nose not broken

Yurak is not banished but instead was made to do something worse, become a robeast rip my guy he's already dead anyway

"[yurak has] turned into an ugly monster!" "he always was one!" GET HIS ASS PIDGE

Allura find keith at the bottom of the ravine and obvs he wakes up because plot armor, also the horse is alive and found his way down to Keith so he can get to the castle, also plot armor lol

im surprised nanny even argued with keith so he could rest at the castle, i didn't think she actually cared about the boys at all

giant mech fight time! and they have cut off yuraks ears,, does that constitute as body horror? ok fight over he's dead

/episode end!

I thought Lotor would be his obsessive self but I guess it gets worse later in the show or something, plus I guess this is where his rivalry with Keith starts, not because of the love triangle but because Keith beat him at a sword fight

he wasn't sore about it though? maybe i'll see more about it later in the show

[latibvles]

11 - Vicki/Hoos

3 - sorry you wrote Luzarkey and now I'm requesting it again 🤷‍♀️

getting to the luzarkey one next. anyways : have The Pacific apocalypse au.

SACRIFICING DIALOGUE : NO. 11

—

It’s really hard not to focus on the scratches, or the banging, or the gurgling on the other side of the door.

He knocked over a shelf fifteen minutes ago and barricaded the door to the storage closet. How many couples had wasted away in this kind of predicament? Popping an obscene amount of sleeping pills, dying in each other’s arms — a long sleep in favor of a miserable existence as a cannibalistic something-or-other.

She turns to look at Hoosier, who’s squeezing her hand with one of his while he grips tight on his pistol with the other. No shot — judging by the noises growing in a steady crescendo, they wouldn’t have enough ammo anyway.

She never pegged them for that — the kind of couple who went out together. She’d scream in frustration if it wouldn’t draw more infected to them. Vicki watches him eye the window on the opposite wall. It was the only one in the room and too high for either of them to climb through on their own.

She wonders if the others are looking for them — if they even noticed they were gone.

“I guess one of us has to die a heroic death.” Hoosier runs a hand through his hair, and Vicki rolls her eyes at his remark.

“Don’t be dramatic.” He frowns, turning to look at him, but he points at the window.

“You can’t pick me up but you can fit through the—”

“If you know what’s good for you then you won’t finish that sentence,” Vicki tries to keep her voice even. Hoosier’s brows furrow, his grip on her hand tightens. “What, you think you could pick me up and expect me to leave you behind just cause it’s not looking good? Fuck that.”

“One of us has gotta get out Vick.”

“Both of us are getting out or neither of us are, Bill,” She swallows hard, reaching up to wipe at her nose. Taking a shaky breath, she stares at the door — focusing on the moans and scratches of the infected on the other side. “The only way I’m going through that window is if you find a way to hold out until I get help.”

Were it not for the imminent threat on the other side of the door, it would’ve been silent. Bill runs his thumb over the back of her hand for a few moments. For once he has nothing to say, and there’s no changing her mind, so she isn’t going to beat a dead horse. He lets go, moving her jacket off her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her skin. She shuts her eyes, biting her lip to keep it from wobbling.

“Alright,” he mutters. She opens her eyes, turns to look at him. “You’re gonna have to be fuckin’ fast, you know that right?”

“I know.”

“N’ I’ll hold out till’ then. Throw more shit in front of the door, I dunno.” He says it so flippantly she could almost laugh. Bill rises to his feet, pulling her up with him and moving to hold Vicki’s face in his hands for a moment.

“Swear on it,” Vicki demands, brows knitting together. Bill presses his lips into a line, before nodding.

“Swear on my life,” he mutters in return. She wants to punch him for being so literal. But she doesn’t get the chance, as Bill pulls her in for what might be their very last kiss.

[sevenwaystosunday]

/rant

You can just look away sorry

Anyway I am so fucking wildly insecure and I feel disgusting about myself and hate how I look…..even though I know I look good? I just feel like……my bf doesn’t like how I look. I genuinely feel like he wishes my body looked different. He will deny this until his lungs are blue but I just….can’t shake it. I accidentally saw on the screen time on his phone that he had been on OF I shouldn’t have but I snooped after that thru his history. He had visited 2 different OF accounts but only for like 20-30~ seconds. I checked over the course of a few days and he had kept doing this. My favorite part! These women were all…..thick with big asses. Like that is their whole thing, the whole point. I am pretty much polar opposite. Big tits n skinny as hell. 0 ass. So I finally broke down and said it was an accident but I did see this. He said that these “fake” accounts follow him on insta and he clicks the links. WHY? These accounts are clearly fake scam accounts. sus as hell. I don’t care if he looks at porn but I was more hurt if he was paying for this? When he is broke….all the time….he said he would never pay for that. He promised that he wouldn’t do it anymore and just block every account and make his account private as well. So I let it go, tucked it away. More recently…..It had been awhile since I had snooped and I felt the need to glance. Just to see if he has been lying about it. Instead of OF I now see that he is going to Twitter - 2 different accounts - of course they are SW with OF and…..you guessed it! Thick with big asses. I have been crying all day because he says that his antidepressants fuck with his libido and it is difficult for him to *want* to have sex….but supposedly it has nothing to do with me. He has reassured me of this multiple times but I can’t help but question it anymore. Like is he just lying because he doesn’t find my body attractive? I don’t want to keep bringing it up….just beating a dead horse. And I already know that I’m extremely anxious and insecure and if I keep dwelling on this it is going to become a self fulfilling prophecy

[badassxbirdy]

Getting herself back under control proved to be more difficult than usual. Despite how much improvement had been made since her return home, Tyler’s grip on her own sanity was still tenuous at best. It was still all too easy for it to slip away from her. Too easy for the damage to start showing through the cracks.

By the time the laughter faded she felt dizzy, her eyes falling closed to keep the room from spinning. “Sure.” She snorted, voice a little horse. “It’s just my nature and definitely not ‘cause nothin’ you say makes any fuckin’ sense.” Friedkin? What the hell did that old nutcase have to do with it? After all, he’d been dead long before Lance and his crew had disappeared... A death he’d had coming to him if even half of the treatment records she’d read during her research were accurate…

By the time Tyler felt steady enough to open her eyes, she was startled to find it was already face to face with her. She completely froze, staring in obvious shock as it took hold of her hand. Aggression, anger, violence, or just generally being a smug asshole, that was stuff she’d come to expect from demons. Even through a haze of panic there was at least a little predictability to the nature of their antics. But this, this weird gentleness… it wasn’t something she’d seen from one of them before. And she had no idea how to handle it. The soft and gentle touch would have been reassuring coming from her friend, calming even. But coming from this thing? This thing using Lance’s hands? It made her stomach churn.

‘There’s great power in here.’

Shit.

Her eyes immediately flicked back up from their hands to meet its gaze, lies and words of denial already on the tip of her tongue, pointless though she knew they were. It was force of habit, instinct even. People weren’t supposed to find out.

But then… this wasn’t exactly a person.

In the end she bit back the denial, scoffing as if it were no big deal, and it finding out was definitely not another thing on her list of reasons to fucking panic. “I don’t like demons. Guess I’m just prejudice.” Of course things were nowhere even close to being that simple. When it came to demons, she was absolutely fucking traumatised and had every right to be. But the possession, the damage done, the poisoning and what had come after, that was all just the start of it.

There wasn’t a single part of her life that hadn’t in some way been tainted by them. Heck, a demon had been responsible for her very creation. A creation that shouldn’t have been allowed to happen in the first place. Worst of it all, and what she couldn’t really acknowledge even to herself, they represented everything about her existence that she so deeply feared and hated. Everything a cambion had the potential to become. And that was truly terrifying.

She was about to pull her hand away when it was placed against Lance’s chest, letting her feel the the steady rhythm of his pulse. And wasn’t it just a miracle? To feel his heart, a heart that until recently she’d thought had long since stopped beating. But here it was. Here he was. Safe. Warm. Alive. No matter how fucked up the situation, feeling it beat beneath her hand somehow actually relaxed her a little, a feeling reflected in the way the hunch of her shoulders eased ever so slightly.

“What feels familiar?”

"He's getting it put back together, quite frankly" it retorted, softness cycling right back into mild frustration for a moment. "Look at you. He even got to meet you again in how long? Trust me, dear. If it weren't for me, you never would've seen him again. He'd be dead." Slowly but surely, the smile crept its way back onto his face.

"It's quite ironic, actually. The old hack Friedkin and his little cult thought he had to be just that for me. Empty. Gone. Yet heeeere we both are. Not dead at all. Because they never really understood. Just like you. I suppose that's just in your nature."

It observed just that nature with much interest when she reacted to its powers, the way she covered and yelped, then started laughing, sitting down on the opposite bed. And it kept watching and watching, eating her fear right up with each single laugh that erupted from her body.

It's in your nature to induce madness, it had heard a creature not unlike it say once. It still wasn't exactly a conscious decision. None of anything about it really was, it just was, yet it never ceased to make it marvel at it all, thoroughly enjoy the effects it had on others indeed, finding them ever so nourishing. One of the many reasons why it was still so attached to its host, a seemingly never ending well of just those reactions and emotions as well.

After a good while of just watching her sit on that corner, laughing to herself, knuckles white, it eventually made its host move again. It got up surprisingly gracious and leisurely, walked right over to her, rounded the corner of the bed, then knelt her friend's body down in front of her. So they could be eye to eye, face to face, skin to skin even, when it reached out to take her hand into Lance's. It studied her fingers for a moment, touch breezy and gentle, a complete contrast to the previous outburst. Then, it encased her hand with both of Lance's, cradled it almost.

"There's great power in here" it told her, smile on his face, one that it was more than happy to beam right at her, almost gleeful with the discovery at the touch. "I can feel it inside you. Buried deep and so much bigger than your shaking little body. Lance doesn't know, of course. But I do. And so do you. So do tell me, why are you scared of me?" it asked, stroking his right thumb against her palm, ever so gentle. Then, it placed her hand on Lance's chest, right on top of his heart so she could feel it - beating away ever so steady and calm, encased by a warm and firm chest.

"All of this feels familiar, does it not?"

[catboy-changeling]

Tldr I told my therapist I was struggling with stuff and she told me to google it instead of trying to help so now I'm ranting in the tags about the joke that is The Mental Health System

Ignore me

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Not All Family Is Blood

Gif credit @bodybebangin.

Hope you all enjoy.

If you would like to be tagged in Yellowstone fics, I'll be happy to tag you so you don't miss out.

Warning: Assault. Mentioning of abuse. Custody battle.

"Daddy Rip"! Reilly, your six year old daughter screamed with a giggle running down to the barn where Rip was attending to his horse. You might be wondering why she called him daddy Rip well it's kind of complicated.

"Hey, baby girl". He laughed scooping her up in his arms and hugging her tight.

"Guess what I made in school today"? She asked excitedly.

"What's that"? Rip matched her excitement. Rip isn't her biological father. Her dad is still alive and somewhat in her life. But Rip has been there since the beginning. You two started off as friends and then the love grew more and you two got together when she was two. So all she knew him as was daddy Rip.

"I made a star from fruit loops".

Rip dramatically gasped as he was surprised but he knew what she was doing. He got her the fruit loops that morning and put them in her bookbag. "That's so cool. Did you save me any"?

Reilly giggled. "No daddy Rip. I used them all".

"Ah okay. I'll just eat your ears". Rip evily laughed as he nibbled on her ears. She was in a giggle fit.

"Put me down". She laughed and became serious when she had had enough. Rip put her down with a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hey baby". He pulled you to him and kissed your lips softly.

"Hey". You smile exhausted.

"What's wrong"?

"Nothing". You nodded to Reilly.

"Riels, why dont you go down there and beat up your uncle Jimmy. I give you permission while I talk to mommy". Rip chuckled as she ran off.

"What's going on"?

"Brian. He wants to take me back to count for custody".

"Why's he doing this now? You just came from court a week ago and they gave you full custody".

"He's being a dick. Just to make me mad".

"You know, that wont ever happen? He's not taking Reilly away from you. I'll make sure of that".

"Rip, you cant threaten him. He doesn't care that you will beat him to a pulp. He'll just use it against me in court".

Rip wrapped his arms around you protectively. "I'm not going to threaten him. I'm going to make sure he doesnt ever walk again. He wont take Reilly away. I promise. So dont worry". Rip kissed your head, reassuringly.

"Okay".

"Alright then. Let's go get our little cowgirl and head home".

"You go. I'm to tired to walk down there". You groaned with a giggle.

"Alright". Rip chuckled and went on his way. As you started up to your car you saw a black beat up car pull in and you knew exactly who it was.

"Bitch, where is my daughter"? Brian yelled from his car. He was to lazy to get out.

"What are you doing here? You cant just show up unannounced. This isn't my home".

"Where is Reilly"? Brian asked once again and this time got out of the car.

"She's with Rip".

"You let him take my daughter, alone"? He scoffed.

"I trust him more that I can throw you".

"Listen, you little bitch. If my daughter isn't in front of me in five seconds. I'm going to call the cops and say you're trying to kidnap her. Dont test me, whore". Brian was right up in your face.

"I dont have to do anything you say, Brian". You looked him cold in the eyes.

Brian clicked his tongue and started nodding his head. That's when you knew he was angry.

Before you knew it, his hand collided with your cheek and you felt shooting pain on the right side of your face.

"I'm going to tell you one more time. Get my daughter"! He yelled in your ear.  You jerked your head back to look at him. Your blood was boiling. After taking years of his abuse, you finally wanted to kill him.

"Y/N"? Rip called out as he walked up to the cars. Teeter and Colby followed him.

"Give me my daughter asshole". Brian spoke stepping in front of you. You still held your face.

Rip handed Rielly to Teeter and told her and Colby to take Rielly inside his place. They quickly left.

"You do that to her face"? Rip jogged up to Brian, pointing to you. His cowboy boots scattered dust as he jogged.

"Bitch, needed to learn. She doesn't disobey me". Brian turned his slightly looking at you with a smirk.

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you". Rip reared back and punched Brian in the face. Brian stumbled back but Rip didn't let up. He punched Brian in the face again. Brian fell down and Rip hovered over him, his fist balled up and ready for another punch.

"You ever come near Y/N or Rielly again. I will kill you where you stand. Do you understand, boy"? Rip stood over Brian as Brian whimpered and groan holding his nose.

"Do you"? Rip growled.

Brian nodded.

"Now get the fuck out of here".

Brian hauled ass back to his car. Picking himself up and jumping into his car. He sped away.

"Are you okay"? Rip took your face in his hands gently looking you over.

"I'm fine".

"Fucking asshole". Rip spat on the ground.

"I can't believe you just did that. I'm going to lose Rielly now". You whispered to yourself. Rip turned his head quickly.

"No you're not. I promised you I wont let that happen and I'm keeping to that". Rip took your hand in his.

"I'm just scared. That's all. I've put up with Brian's abuse for years and I dont want that happening to Rielly. That's why I left when she was a baby".

"It's not going to happen. They have to pry her from my cold dead hands before he gets her. And I'm pretty hard to kill". Rip chuckled, making you smile.

"Thank you. For everything. You saved us". You wrapped Rips arm around your waist as you still held his hand and tip toed up and kissed his lips. "I love you".

"I love you too. Now let's get some ice on that cheek and go get something to eat. I've worked up a appetite". Rip and you took off down to his place.

You knew this wasnt going to be the last time you see Brian about custody. But Rip, had something up his sleeve if it ever did occur.

[mlobsters]

take 2. Mom, I'm tired // Can I sleep in your house tonight?

SAM Listen, I know this is gonna sound crazy to you. I don't even necessarily need you to understand. But...you need to know. I didn't just drop out, Dean. I found something. Something I've... never had all my life. DEAN Yeah, what was her name?

i don't understand why they're doing this with sam. i'm again trying to give dean some leeway due to the roaring ptsd but.

DEAN So, what, you, uh, you dropped your peanut butter in her chocolate? How'd it happen?

weirdly vulgar expression i've never heard before

so dean is also grumpy because he misses killin stuff with his purgatory boyfriend i guess?

so that really awful conversation and next we're... doing the funky upbeat music walk and talk with fucked up orange faces

i like how every once in a while they pull out the old demon throat slitting cup o'blood to make a phone call thing. we didn't forget! was she calling crowley to give him the gossip? (again what is his meatsuit up to when he's away)

oh my god sam is gonna have a weepy dog flashback??? the other weird thing with the lighting/coloring they've been doing the past few seasons is it makes blood look too bright, verging on pinkish

that whole thing. sorry. i laughed

DEAN Sweet mother of God. It's for me? Seriously?

a thoughtful kindness and food after the year of terror (nevermind the logistics, did he need to eat in purgatory? if so, what? uck). it's fine, they're gonna make me do the work and extrapolate and feel sad

his flowing locks have been covering his ears most of the time but those are some somewhat tamed sideburns!! one good thing

kevin looking good in the new haircut

another bad and very obvious adr/dub! wtf - the "killed jess" of this is badly dubbed

DEAN I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sam, we have an opportunity to wipe the slate clean. We take Kevin to the tablet, he tells us the spell, we send every demon back to hell – forever. Every single bastard that destroyed our lives, killed our mother, killed Jess. And you're not sure?

and this feels like sam goes to apologize to kevin because of his talk with dean. sam would be apologizing straight away of his own volition, no? it's all fucking aggravating though because i don't believe sam would have dropped the ball to begin with!

SAM Yeah. It sucks right now. I know that. Um, it might suck for a lot longer, but... trust me on this – it gets better. KEVIN You know I'm not gay, right?

blergh.

CROWLEY Dean. You're looking... well, let's just say Purgatory didn't do you any favors. Where's your angel? DEAN Ask your mother. CROWLEY There's that grade-school zip. Missed it. I really did. [to SAM] Moose. Still with the pork chops. I admire that.

is this about his sideburns??? are small mutton chops pork chops 😂

DEAN (on phone) Yeah, I hear that. Listen, Benny, not to beat a dead horse. What we did down there is what we had to do. Now, I don't regret it for a second. But... you know, maybe until we both adjust, it's best we don't talk for a while. BENNY (on phone) There it is. DEAN (on phone) One day at a time, just like we talked about, right?

benny's accent is all over the place. why do they make characters have these things and then not give the actors enough time/resources to execute them properly

BENNY (on phone) I think you had it right, bud. DEAN (on phone) What's that? BENNY (on phone) Purgatory was pure. I'm kind of wishin' I had appreciated it more. You know? Like you. DEAN (on phone) Listen, you got an emergency, you call me, you understand? BENNY (on phone) I hear you. You keep your nose clean, too, brother. DEAN (on phone) Yeah.

well. this is a lot. are they gonna have to kill benny because he's been eating people since he got back? rife with drama. will dean get his own madison moment???

supernatural s8e1 we need to talk about kevin (w. jeremy carver)

new season, new me. *silent wish goes up for smaller sideburns*

of course they had to include "dick is coming" in the recap. we can't let the opportunity for a dick joke slip out of our hands

very xfiles

okay i threw this in lightroom real quick to make it less dark because what is going on here? it's very... strike a pose, for feral!dean. and the kids are like from a painting. it's very dramatic. maybe i will paint it some day.

well the infamous benny appears. i also didn't realize purgatory was gonna be a time jump like hell. read something not too long ago that was fairly evocative of the environment of purgatory so i was thinking some of the show happened there (though i suppose flashbacks are also a possibility).

lol i'm already upset, broad strokes know how this goes with their reunion emotionally.

this is so ridiculous. i was just complaining how i felt so blah with the end of s7. well here we go, let's hurt my feelings with brother conflict stress and i'm gonna be upset about it? make up your mind

okay so some fics i've read are like "sam didn't look for dean while he was in purgatory" but i did not pick up that for all intents and purposes, sam had no reason to assume he wasn't dead.

there's a lot going on in this scene. like the semi dodging the cas questions, how he got out, etc.

SAM Yeah. Yeah, I – you were gone... Dean. Cas was gone, Bobby was dead. I mean, Crowley even shipped off Kevin and Meg to parts unknown. DEAN So you just turned tail on the family business.

are you kidding me right now, dean? like he should carry on hunting because it's the family business??? i'll chalk this up to being mad and fucked up for being hunted for a year.

SAM Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead. DEAN I wasn't dead. In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought, is what we actually do. SAM Yes, Dean. And far as I knew, what we do is the thing that got every single member of my family killed. I had no one – no one. And for the first time in my life, I was completely alone. And, honestly, I-I didn't exactly have a roadmap. So, yeah, I-I fixed up the Impala, and I just... drove.

💔

DEAN After you looked for me. Did you look for me, Sam? [SAM looks away.] Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each other, but not this time, right, Sammy?

well i can see now why fics harp on this point. so i'm assuming sam thought dean was in heaven. would dean expect sam to try to get him back from there too? tucking 'deep and abiding love' into my pocket

okay right i've talked about this before too, how sam is always the fuckup begging for forgiveness and dean is the righteous man. and i'm tired of it! this thing with the voicemails from kevin tran is just... cruel. i don't like the point they're making.

real life, anyone in sam's situation would be a fucking mess. i still don't really think sam would flake on the phones with kevin like that.

whoa whole new desktop. so long untitled 1 and 2

oh we get urls now in the new web browser! and look at that, already an invalid web url http://www.searchtheweb/main missing your tld, friend 😔 1 out of 2, at least

lying about the dog in the car too. all right

okay, purgatory flashback after all. umm. what happens when you die in purgatory? respawn there? or is that the way to the big empty i've heard about

DEAN Hmm. So what was it, hmm? What could possibly make you stop just like that? A girl? Was there a girl? SAM The girl had nothing to do with it. DEAN There was a girl. SAM Yeah. There was. And then there wasn't. Any more questions?

*heavy sigh*

not getting through this episode tonight. reconvene tomorrow

[xxdragonwriterxx]

🔥Where Is Your Rider?🔥

A/N: HEY EVERYONE!!! So, I just wanted to thank you guys for the massive amount of support you guys have given me recently, I just managed to reach a pretty significant follower count!!! I don’t want to specify the number because I don’t want to make this into a competition, but I’m so happy and grateful for all of you guys and the love and support you have shown me! As promised, I plan to celebrate with a face reveal! I’ll specify when I’m going to do it (as I don’t know when I won’t be busy, lol) but it will happen soon! For now, enjoy this super angsty short one-shot I have written for you guys! This was supposed to be a really short drabble but because I have no self control whatsoever, this ended up being nearly 3,000 words instead of the 500 I planned for it. Also, this was inspired by the two songs, “Where is Your Rider?” and “Pale White Horse” by the Oh Hellos! I hope you enjoy, and again, thank you guys so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

🐉 Song Recommendation: “Pale White Horse” By: The Oh Hellos 🐉

Word Count: ~2.8k

~~~

Levi braced his hands on his knees, panting so hard his throat burned with dry fire. That had been close. Too close. To say that the expedition had been a nightmare would’ve been an understatement. It had been an absolute disaster. What was supposed to be a simple mission to retrieve some supplies from an abandoned battle station outside the walls had turned into chaos quicker than anyone could’ve ever anticipated as abnormals had surrounded them on all sides. Levi had tried his best to protect as many of his soldiers as he could, but even Humanity’s Strongest Soldier had been overwhelmed by the vast number of titans. Erwin had called for the retreat only minutes into the expedition, and yet they had still lost more men on this mission alone than they had during the past six months.

Levi closed his eyes, willing the tears back against the images of his fallen comrades, their broken bodies and screams of his name as they were devoured right in front of him. He had to stay strong, just for a little while longer. As soon as he got back within the walls and was able to retreat to his office, he would be allowed to break, to let loose the torrent of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. But for now, he had to be the pillar of strength that his remaining soldiers could look up to for hope and reassurance.

He sighed deeply, forcing down the bile that rose in the back of his throat, and raised his head, his eyes still closed as he prepared what he was going to say to his squad. When he finally felt ready enough to face them, he turned with his head held up high to the pitiful number of soldiers left on the field. He opened his mouth to talk when all of a sudden, he noticed something.

Her squad wasn’t back yet.

Levi’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, his mouth hung open as the words of his quickly prepared speech were immediately thrown out the window, his mind clouded with worry.

“Where’s Captain (Y/N)? And her squad?” Levi asked, prompting the men around him to stop what they were doing and look to their raven-haired superior. It was obvious that Captain (Y/N) and Captain Levi were together, that much was apparent from Levi’s subtle favoritism and soothed demeanor when she was around, but their relationship was often overlooked due to the professional manner in which they regarded each other when working during the day. Nobody was privy to what occurred behind closed doors - the clingy, loving nature that Levi adopted around (Y/N) when they were alone.

Levi felt a cold tremor trickle down his spine when nobody answered, some of their faces paling as they suddenly remembered their Captain’s relationship, panic laced in their eyes when they realized that nobody could answer Levi’s question. “Did anybody see where they went? Or could make a guess on which direction they could’ve gone?”

Levi tried to keep his voice steady when silence once again answered him, only the soft murmuring of the cadets asking each other for information filling the space. His breathing quickened and shallowed, making him feel light-headed, but he shook the feeling away. He needed to stay focused if he was going to find her. She was going to be alright, she had to be. He wouldn’t accept any other option.

“Alright then, everybody stay here. Commander Erwin should be arriving with the rest of you in a moment. When he gets here, someone tell him that I’ve gone to look for them.”

He whirled on his heel when he was met with murmurs of acceptance, aiming for his horse until a quick flash of movement caught the corner of his eye. He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized it was the movement of a horse racing for them, its hooves striking the ground with every beat as it galloped for them in a panic. Cold dread washed over Levi as the horse got closer, immediately recognizing the silvery white coat of (Y/N)’s stunning mare.

Levi was frozen in fear for the first time in his life as the horse came barreling towards him; riderless. He managed to snap out of it and quickly moved to intercept the horse, using his hands to jolt the frantic horse to a stop. Levi cooed at the mare, murmuring soft words of comfort as he approached her as slowly and non-threateningly as possible. When she had finally calmed down enough for him to touch her, Levi carefully curled his fingers around her reins and stood back to get a good look at the animal.

Her nostrils were flaring with every harsh breath she took, panting with both fear and exertion. Her eyes were wide enough to flash the whites around her irises at him, her gaze darting all around them as if expecting something to jump out at her. Levi felt his stomach clench hard enough to rip a whimper from him when he saw that her once gleaming silver coat was now soaked in sweat, mud, and fresh blood. Levi took a shuddering breath, his eyes closing.

“Danika, where is your rider?”

The mare’s only response was to jerk her head in panic, her ears pinned as she tried to rip herself from his iron grip. Levi bared his teeth, a few stray tears sliding down his cheeks. “WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR RIDER!?”

He knew shouting would only make things worse, but he couldn’t help himself, his fury and paralyzing fear driving him to the edge of insanity. Where was she? She had to be here, he wouldn’t accept this, couldn’t accept this. She was alive and well and perfectly fine, her horse was just acting crazy. It had to be some kind of trick, some kind of illusion meant as a punishment for the lives of the men he had lost.

He rubbed his eyes but to his horror, the image of blood soaking Danika’s fur didn’t disappear. He wanted to believe that it was Danika’s blood, that the poor animal had just been clawed up in battle, but he knew it wasn’t hers. She had no external wounds to speak of and the blood was pooled on top of her saddle and splashed along her flank rather than gouged from her flesh.

More tears started to stream down his face, the air in his throat hitching with every shaky breath he took. It wasn’t possible. No. She was alive. (Y/N) was alive. The love of his life was alive. Levi hung his head, his hair falling to curtain his expression as he choked on another sob. “Danika, please. Please. Where is your rider? Where is (Y/N)? She was with you, right? She has to be around here somewhere…”

He knew he must look deranged, talking to a horse and muttering to himself, but he didn’t care. All he cared about, in that moment, was finding out where the fuck his lover was. Another sob ripped through his body, his eyes squeezing shut even harder as more tears fell from behind his lids. He didn’t want to accept it, he couldn’t accept it, so why was his heart shattering as if he already had?

The sudden touch of a warm muzzle brushing against his face made him flinch and look up, only to be met with the sight of (Y/N)’s silver mare, watching him with a deeply sorrowful expression that mirrored his own, as if she too was grieving the loss of her rider. Levi wanted to scream, wanted to chase the mare into the woods, wanted to slash titans until his body gave out, but he knew he couldn’t do any of those things. It wasn’t the horse’s fault, no matter how much he wanted someone to blame.

“Please,” he whispered, his fingers coming up to curl against Danika’s soft muzzle. “Please tell me she’s alive. Tell me she made it back with you, you just got scared and left her behind. Tell me that she’s going to be okay. I-I can’t live without her, please.”

He was begging now but he didn’t notice. He just wanted some damn reassurance, some comfort, some support - all of the things that (Y/N) usually provided for him when he felt helpless. But (Y/N) wasn’t with him and he was floundering. His eyes were glossy with tears as he looked deep into the mare’s eyes, begging with both his voice and his gaze for the horse to give him something, anything to work with.

“Levi,” the deep voice right beside him made him jump, too lost in his hysteria to notice that Erwin had slipped up next to him, his face dark and grim. Levi’s eyes were frantic as they searched Erwin’s gaze. He knew the Commander had seen (Y/N) last, her squad had been flanking his during their initial departure. Erwin swallowed. Hard.

“Levi, I’m so sorry but…” The Commander dug around in his pocket until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a small piece of fabric with (Y/N)’s name written on the back. It was (Y/N)’s wings of freedom patch. Levi carefully took the patch in both of his palms, tears flooding his cheeks as his whole body started to shake.

“S-She saved her squad, Levi. They were being chased by a hoard of abnormal titans and she darted off to act as bait. Her p-plan was solid, but there were just too many of them and they overpowered her,” Erwin said, his jaw clenching when he stuttered a few times, fighting back his own tears. He lifted a hand and rested it gently on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing once. “Levi, s-she’s gone.”

Levi immediately shook his head violently in response, refusing to believe it. She wasn’t dead, she couldn’t be. She had promised him that she would stay alive, that she would never leave him alone, especially after all he had lost. She promised. Erwin walked forward, hands outstretched to keep Levi from doing something rash, but he wasn’t fast enough as the raven crashed to the ground, collapsing under the weight of his grief.

A loud, miserable howl tore from his throat and filled the valley, making the soldiers around him flinch as they silently mourned, a few of them even beginning to shed tears as they watched their normally stoic, steadfast Captain break for the first time since they’d met him. Levi ignored everyone as he sobbed out for the world to hear, his head buried in his hands and his body shaking violently with the force of his sorrow.

He didn’t want to accept it, didn’t want to acknowledge what everyone was telling him was fact. He didn’t want to think about anything but getting her back in his arms as soon as possible. It was all he wanted, to feel her warmth pressed lovingly against him, to hear her murmur gentle words filled with more love than he’d ever expected to receive in his life, to see her eyes light up brightly whenever she saw him. Without her, he was nothing. He knew that if he accepted this, that he would be accepting the loss of his very soul. It was too much for him to handle, he had finally been broken.

The pain was unbearable, he couldn’t take it anymore. Without (Y/N) by his side, he had no will to live. Fuck fighting the titans, fuck finding a new, better world, fuck being Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. Fuck everything. None of it was worth it if (Y/N) wasn’t wrapped safely in his arms.

“Levi…”

He heard Erwin coo at him, his hand outstretched to guide Levi to his feet, but the raven quickly ripped his arm from the Commander’s grasp, his eyes filled with an icy fire that would make Death itself shiver.

“Lead the retreat, take my men back to the walls.”

“Levi, what are you-?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Levi snapped aggressively as he tore his cape from his back and draped it over Danika’s blood soaked saddle.

“Levi, (Y/N)’s dead. You need to come back with us, if you don’t, you won’t make it.”

“That’s the point,” Levi said as he pulled himself into the saddle, once again avoiding Erwin’s attempt to grasp him.

The blonde’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, his jaw dropping at his Captain’s words. “If you think for one fucking second that I am going to let you kill yourself over some girl-”

“Don’t you dare speak about (Y/N) that way,” Levi said, his voice a deadly calm. “She is not just ‘some girl’. She’s the love and light of my life and I’m not leaving without her. I’m going to bring her back, no matter what it takes.”

Erwin opened his mouth to argue, but wasn’t even able to get the first word out before Levi had kicked Danika into a gallop, aiming right for the forest she had come from just minutes earlier. Nobody could do anything but watch as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier tore off into the woods, dread settling in their stomachs at the thought of having to fight without his support. Because they all knew, even if Levi made it, he would never be the same. Unless (Y/N) was somehow magically still alive, Levi would never be the same man he once was. His responsibilities and future didn’t matter to him anymore, not if they didn’t include his love.

Erwin sighed and shouted for his men to retreat, knowing that sending more men to retrieve Levi would only end in more casualties, by both titans and Levi himself. All he could do was trust that his friend could hold his own and would make it back. The soldiers of the remaining squads did as he asked without hesitation but the air was thick with tension as they galloped back to the walls, unsure of how to process the loss of their two strongest Captains.

[brittanyslibrary]

Small Victories ➤ Levi Ackerman

Summary: The special training course you opted into was fast paced, exhausting, and downright brutal. Even so, you were determined to become a sorely needed field medic for the Survey Corps, knowing it would most likely lead to your demise.

You couldn’t lie, a part of you also just wanted to prove to Captain Levi that you were far more than just Titan bait…

You knew, going into this, you’d be on the front lines. Commander Erwin had informed you the day he went over your file that you would be stationed close to the Special Ops squad; where you were needed most.

You knew that, and yet, as you watched a soldier’s flailing legs disappear into the 10 meter’s mouth, heard his deafening screams piercing the humid air, smelled the irony scent of blood, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d been in over your head.

Perhaps Captain Levi had been right about you.

“All you medic types are the same,” he’d told you the first time he’d ever met you. “Self sacrificial, stubborn, and fucking stupid”

It was then that you decided you would prove him wrong.

You leaned over a fallen comrade, clinging to life despite the gaping chunk taken out of his thigh. He couldn’t have been older than seventeen, openly weeping for his mother as his body trembled.

I can’t leave him, I can’t leave him, I can’t leave him.

The rumbling of titan footsteps shook the ground beneath you, but you knew you’d lose your nerve if you turned to look at them ambling towards you. So, you opted to keep your face set as your hands worked on instinct.

His eyes were wide and pleading as he searched your immediate surroundings for any sign of the Special Ops Squad. You’d been separated from them when you saw the kid, amidst all the chaos, nearly lose his entire leg to a four meter titan.

You were grateful they’d taught you how to slay the ugly bastards, but you could hardly perform your medical duties while killing the titans that were heading straight for you.

And if you didn’t stop the bleeding soon….

“You’re alright, you’re gonna be fine,” your assurances left your lips like a mantra while you wound thick, cotton bandages over his thigh.

“They’re coming…they’re coming straight for us,” he wailed.

“Let them come, but I’ll be damned if you’re gonna give up when we’ve still got a fighting chance” you snapped, tying the bandage as tight as you could. “You’re gonna have to lean on me and use your other leg. I can’t carry you to the cart like this” you informed him.

By now, both of your clothes were soaked in his blood. As he hobbled to the abandoned cart, where your horse was waiting to pull it, you could practically feel the titans on top of you.

You could picture their smiling faces, eager to devour you.

The boy, who’s name you learned to be Asmund, scooted as far back onto the cart as he could with his busted leg. Hope bloomed in your chest as you tossed your supply bag beside him.

You were going to make it.

He was screaming again, but not for the sorry state of his leg. He was screaming your name, urging you to hurry because there was a titan directly behind you and if you didn’t get your ass onto the horse it was going to-

You felt its fingers wind themselves around your shoulders, upper arms and torso. It squeezed you in its palm, causing your eyes to bulge and silencing the scream that sat poised on your tongue.

You were done for, you knew that much. All that was left to do was close your eyes and think of him, the man who would, no doubt, blame himself for the loss of your life.

The first time you’d offered to help the Captain with his paperwork, he’d scoffed at the notion and told you to leave him alone.

You brought tea the next time, and he finally allowed you the allotted space in his office, giving you your own personal stack of papers to date and check.

“Your lack of sleep is going to catch up with you, Captain” you’d told him as you dipped your pen in the ink well. “You’re pushing your body too far when you only allow it a few hours’ rest. I’m surprised you’ve made it this long without fainting, truthfully”

You worried for him the way a spouse would worry after their partner, but you never wanted to admit that to yourself.

“Yeah? So what?” he paused his furious pen strokes to level you with a glare.

“You should take better care of yourself,” you murmured gently.

“You should mind your own damn business” was his curt reply.

You weren’t certain if it was the reflection of the candle flame or the shadows on his face playing tricks, but you could have sworn you saw a blush rise to his cheeks.

“Nice work!” Petra commended you with a slap on the back and a grin on her face. Out of Levi’s Squad, she was by far the most welcoming.

“Yeah, you almost beat my time. Too bad I’m far more skilled than anyone here” Oluo smirked from his seat against a tree trunk.

You’d done well for yourself in training, only having two years to complete your cadet training rather than the usual four granted to everyone else. You were much older than them, as well, and stuck out like a sore thumb. So, admiring your handy work in the form of slain titan dummies, you were rather proud.

“You used too much gas,” Levi drawled, coming up to kick at one of your near empty canisters.

His eyes were narrowed as he glared at you, waiting for a proper response.

“I’m sorry Captain, I..I guess I hadn’t realized how much I’d been using” you winced as his glare sharpened.

“You didn’t realize, huh,” he circled you like a predator, eyeing your taut form as he did so. “Perhaps you’ll realize it when you’re halfway down a disgusting titan’s gullet. Perhaps you’ll realize when you’re stranded in the middle of an open plain and crushed under one of their feet”

He stopped, suddenly, directly in front of you. He was so close you could make out the dark circles under his eyes and the lines at his brow.

“A stupid mistake, I can always count on that from you” he spoke your name as if it were an insult. All the while, his face showed no sign of anything but irritation.

You hated that you cared so much about what he thought of you.

“I’ll do better next time” you whispered, voice hoarse.

“Outside the walls, there won’t be a next time!” his volume had grown steadily, as he was all but shouting now. “You get careless and then you’re dead. You get yourself killed out there, and we lose you, and then that’s another fucking life…wasted”

The others had enough sense to ditch this situation when it first began, which had left you and Levi by yourselves between the trees.

He quickly turned away, crossing the grounds swiftly enough that you barely had time to analyze what the hell he’d just come out with.

The Captain cared about all his soldiers, you assured yourself to quell the pounding in your chest.

It probably meant nothing.

You heard your name again, this time from a completely different direction.

.. The titan’s jaws were just below you as you dangled from its grasp. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t even think of anything besides the smell of the gaping mouth you were about to be shoved into.

And Levi, your Captain, a man who was so gentle if you could just break through the tough outer shell he hid behind.

He was calling out to you, desperation you’d never heard from him before apparent in his shouts.

You caught a glimpse of him, swords drawn and determination set in his grey eyes. He was fast, but you knew he wouldn’t be fast enough.

You accepted this as the hot tears fell slowly down your cheeks.

.. “I enjoy your company, Captain Levi” you confessed to him from your seat at the other side of his desk. The paperwork lay abandoned in front of you, as you had far better things to look at than the ink on those pages.

Levi coughed and nearly dropped his pen at your sudden proclamation. His eyes had grown wider than usual, and he outright refused to look at you, acknowledge what you’d said.

“You don’t have to say anything, I understand” you spoke slowly, solemnly. “It’s just..you aren’t like anyone I’ve met before. You try so hard to shut people out with your harsh words and constant glaring, but you care far more than you let on. I think, I think you’re the first person in this damn regiment that actually gave a shit about me”

You noticed his knuckles had turned white with the force that he was gripping his pen.

The expedition was tomorrow; you might never get a chance to tell him this.

“Maybe in another life, maybe if we had more time, maybe….we could have loved each other” you pushed the seat out from under you, standing straight as a pin.

Once the words had left your lips to hang tensely in the air between you two, you were unable to gather enough nerve to look at him.

“I just wanted you to know that, in case something happens to me when we-“

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you” he rasped, head bowed over the page, pen still gripped in his hand.

“How can you be so sure?” you smiled sadly.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you, because I….because I won’t let it”

The conviction laced in his words left no room for you to doubt him.

You’d done your duty, left with no regret about stopping to help that young cadet that had an entire life ahead of him.

But you did regret leaving behind the Captain, leaving him with your awkward confession and never, ever getting to find out what his lips tasted like.

As you fell into the titan’s mouth, you thought Levi probably tasted like the tea he drank.

Everything ached and burned when you came to. Your eyes blinked heavily at a dark ceiling, your lips parting slightly as the warmth from the sunlight streaming in soaked into your cold skin.

You must have been back home, back inside the walls. The thin, white sheets and itchy cot you were laying on was enough to know that. How could you have possibly made it back?

The titan ate you, didn’t it?

“I told you,” you jumped at the figure beside you, groaning as your body protested the sudden movement.

You turned your head slowly, shocked and incredibly relieved to see none other than the Captain himself sitting on a wooden chair beside your bed.

His body was hunched forward, arms folded over his knees and shoulders pulled forward. His eyes immediately softened when you smiled at him, and he let out a ragged breath.

“How?” was all you could manage to choke out. The familiar stirring in your chest had become an erratic rhythm of pounding and fluttering.

“I almost didn’t make it in time,” his gaze fell to his lap. “You were in its mouth by the time I made it to you. If I’d sliced its jaw open a moment later, you would have been down its throat” he squeezed his eyes shut, as if the memory was replaying before him.

You sucked in a breath, wondering just how far he’d gone to ensure your safety.

“You saved me….when anyone else would have thought it to be a lost cause. You didn’t give up on me..” you trailed off as your vision began to blur with unshed tears.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Just when you thought he’d take his leave, he spoke again.

“I don’t know what love feels like, but I know that I don’t want to fucking lose you”

All that brutal training, all those insults when you’d made careless mistakes, all those nights spent filling out paperwork at the same desk, they all finally had meaning.

How could you not have read the signs before? How could you have not noticed the subtle way he cared for you?

You reached a shaky hand forward, grasping his calloused one in a gentle caress.

“You don’t have to,” the promise in your eyes when he finally spared you a glance grounded him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he stuttered, a fierce blush over his pale face. “I’ve never been good at this bullshit” he muttered.

“We can learn together..if you’d like to move forward with this” you bit at your lower lip, face hot and heart lodged in your throat.

Levi’s lips curved up into the tiniest smile you’d ever seen, but it was a smile nonetheless. A small victory.

“Fine, just…don’t tell Hange. They placed a bet with Erwin, and I don’t wanna give them the satisfaction of winning….”

** did tumblr always have this stupid word block limit bc that's whack. I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible without being vague, hope y'all enjoyed !! **

[birdship]

alright so this is by far the absolute dumbest thing i've ever written in my life, and trust me that is saying something, but like......... here i guess.

behold, the dumbest and most pointless Disco Elysium fanfic vignette ever written.

content warning: it's dick jokes all the way down.

teaser:

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: This is a nice, brand new copy of one of Dick Mullen’s recent adventures. The pages are crisp, fresh, intact. And inscribed upon them, the tumultuous tale of the time Dick Mullen seduced a beautiful dame, then solved the shockingly grisly murder mystery with which said dame became entangled. But in a different way than the other ones. It’s got a new, sexier dame and a new, more shocking murder. They really broke out the *good* horse glue for this one, that’s for sure.

It’s a cold, damp afternoon, but the Whirling-in-Rags is proving to be a warm and dry enough place to take some time to do a little reading. The lieutenant is seated across the table from you, buried in his case notes as you catch up on the Dick Mullen novel you just bought.

ESPRIT DE CORPS: He is not paying any attention to you, but if he were, he would not approve of your time management decisions.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: This is a nice, brand new copy of one of Dick Mullen’s recent adventures. The pages are crisp, fresh, intact. And inscribed upon them, the tumultuous tale of the time Dick Mullen seduced a beautiful dame, then solved the shockingly grisly murder mystery with which said dame became entangled. But in a different way than the other ones. It’s got a new, sexier dame and a new, more shocking murder. They really broke out the *good* horse glue for this one, that’s for sure.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: Dick Mullen must investigate the mysterious disappearance of a reclusive misfortunatologist, who had vanished from his workshop one stormy night without a trace. The only clues Dick has to work with are a dead pig and a couple pieces of jewelry, which eventually lead him to the strange but beautiful heiress who was the last person to see him alive. There are also some other suspects, like the wealthy owner of a hotel next door to the workshop, and a street performer with a grudge. Which one of them is the culprit? Or perhaps the misfortunate misfortunatologist was simply the victim of his own research…

PERCEPTION: Lieutenant Kitsuragi sighs and crosses out whatever he’s just written. Then the cafeteria is quiet for a while as the two of you work and fuck around respectively, each absorbed in your separate tasks.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: Here comes the first big twist! Turns out the misfortunatologist was alive all along. But the day after he returns, Dick finds him lying dead in a pool of blood. Suspicion is immediately cast on the street performer who had been making seemingly empty threats for years, but where is the murder weapon?

“The murder weapon could be anywhere,” you remark under your breath.

“Yes, I agree,” Kim says disinterestedly, half-listening.

“If the killer is a skilled enough mime,” you exclaim, then trail off in horror.

“I’m sorry?” Kim looks up from his notes.

“Kim, it’s a deadly mistake to underestimate a mime. Especially when it comes to murder.” You narrow your eyes. “My God, it’s the perfect crime. Dick is fucked, I don’t know how he’s going to solve this one. He’ll never find the murder weapon.”

“Yes, well, I wouldn’t worry too much,” the lieutenant says seriously. “Dick has certainly been in tight spots like this before, wouldn’t you say?” His face is expressionless as he looks back down at his work.

SUGGESTION: Oh, is that the game he wants to play? RHETORIC: He has *no* idea what he’s up against.

“You’re right, Dick will slip right out of this situation,” you agree, nodding.

“Exactly,” Kim says without even looking up from his notes. “You can’t keep Dick down.”

You nod some more, trying to buy time to think of more dick jokes.

EMPATHY: His expression is still unreadable, but he seems to be waiting for your next volley. His nose is buried in his notebook, but the scratching of the pen has stopped completely.

“He just keeps pounding until he reaches the climax of the case,” you retort.

“Dick always stands up for justice,” Kim immediately adds.

RHETORIC: Fuck. He’s really a professional at this. LOGIC: Wait, let’s think this through. Go over all the options, really analyze the components necessary for-- HALF-LIGHT: No, it’s too late for that. It’s a war of attrition now. You have to just keep saying things as quickly as possible to win it.

“That Dick has a huge case load,” you ramble desperately. Kim raises an eyebrow and, for the first time since this began, ever so slightly smirks.

ESPRIT DE CORPS: There, he thinks, you’re out of ideas. A lesser man might consider this a win already, but Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi never backs down. He has the opportunity to absolutely destroy you, and he is going to take it.

Kim takes a slow, deliberate breath and gently places his pen on the table. Then he looks you right in the eye as he delivers the coup de grace.

“You can’t crush Dick,” he says, gazing at you over his steepled fingers. “No matter how hard you stomp on him, he always gets back up. He'll just keep coming and coming, no matter what.”

RHETORIC: Wow. CONCEPTUALIZATION: That’s... ELECTROCHEMISTRY: *Huh.*

“Uh,” you stammer, then trail off awkwardly. You’ve got nothing.

“You were a worthy opponent, detective,” he says smugly as he goes back to his paperwork. “And that’s why I’m proud to say I was able to beat you off.”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT: And that’s a K.O., ladies and gentlemen.

Nearby, Garte makes a horrible choking noise and splutters, “Oh for fuck’s sake!”