#but no lets keep beating a dead fucking horse i guess

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 chapter 11 part 1 thoughts!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 11 OF THE MAIN STORY!!*** This spans part 192 to part 211, covering Jack and Ruggie’s dreams. You can see my comments on Leona's dream here!

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that roughly unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

xbsbdkshwkw AZUL FAINTED WITH HIS EYES OPEN FROM THE FALL… This guy keeps taking the Ls early on in this update cuz he also got reminded that Idia recorded him in his own dream shouting “KRACKEN SHOT” which is very embarrassing.

Silver and Azul are able to change into their school uniforms without Idia’s incantation. Apparently Silver mastered the magic of changing clothes because he was so often oversleeping for class and had to prepare quickly for them. This shocks Sebek, who has yet to master this kind of magic. (Maybe it’s also a consequence of him being a first year?? 😂)

They briefly discuss how Silver looks like a prince when he’s riding his horse; Azul saw him in a Magicam cut of the Equestrian Club. Previously, we knew from Riddle’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes that the brown horse he rides is named Vorpal. Here we get confirmation of Silver and Sebek’s horses—Samson (a white horse, sharing the same name as Prince Phillip’s steed) and Tempest, respectively.

LMAO Idia complains about how athletes get so much attention, meanwhile nerds like him aren’t ever given that or fawned over or called princes. IDiA W3 gET IT… YOU COMPlAIN AbOUT CHADS 😭

They have landed in front of the gates of NRC and run into Jack there. He seems to be rushing to the colosseum…? Let’s follow him!!

OKAY

OKAY

OKAY

JACK HOWL YOu’RE oN MY ShiT LiST OTL YOU KNOW Ehat tHIS GUY DREAmed ABOUT???????!!!?!?!!?! It’s the year after their instaloss to Diasomnia in the interdorm tournament (don’t ask me why Malleus and Leona aren’t off at their internships at this point, dream logic I guess???). Dream!Leona has gathered all odds Savanaclaw in the colosseum to train so this year they can take Malleus and beat Diasomnia head-on, no tricks. HE EVEN GiVES A N OPTIMISTIC SpEECH AbOUT THE POWEr oF TEAMWORK TO RALLY EVERYONE… and declares he’ll be the next “king” 💀 Such overwhelming confidence… JSCK DRWAMED Of a DORM LEADER thAt PLAys BY THE RULES AnD IS 💯 ConFidENT IN THEMEKvES…

Grim is so grossed out seeing this version of Leona that he wants to wake Jack up right the fuck now 😭

AzUL YOU ASSHoLE???? He acts all fake surprised about “the incident” that happened at the intetdorm tournament and like bro had no part in instigating that stampede.

They start to formulate a plan to wake Jack up, but are worried about dream!Leona since Leona irl is a very strong mage, the darkness posing as Leona could be even stronger than usual. But at the same time we can’t risk casting a spell that’s too strong ourselves or it might call Malleus’s attention. They suggest to use Azul as a clincher since he would theoretically have access to all the magic he stole irl in the dream. Surely one of those could help?

Jack scores against the defense, Ruggie. While the Savanaclaw students are going over his play, Yuu and friends stroll up (including Idia vis a full body projection). Grim tells Savanaclaw they’re Team Ramshackle here to play them!

Ruggie says there’s no point; their team is made up of weaklings! But then Azul gives his OWN speech about how Octavinelle and Ignihyde are always dead last in magift tournaments and this time they really trained hard because they wanna be better 🥺 and besides, isn’g magift a game of wits and not brute magic/physical strength??? This catches the attention of dream!Leona who agrees to the play. He considers fellow dorm leaders worthy opponents, and also had a bone yo pick with Sebek and Silver. (Also??? Sounds like Ignihyde got their asses beat by the Pomefiore team in this year’s interdorm tournament.)

HEKP THIS mAn HE’S SuFFERINNNNG 💀 Azul is really out of it so he calls for a time out. Idia takes this opportunity to make fun of him again for being tired now when he was the captain of Golden Trident in his own dream. At least Sebek is nice and offers Azul some water.

Sebek messes up and the frisbee goes out of bounds?? WYat THE FuVk dream!Leona goes over and helps Sebek up after he’s fallen… “Oh, so Jack has made a senpai he can truly respect.” “Oh, the REAL Leona wouldn’t do something so noble like that.” GROSS GROSS GROSS GET IT OUTTA HERE 🤢

Oooh, interesting?? Ortho reasons that when you’re excited, you’re more likely to be influenced by emotions when making decisions; they’ll take advantage of the exercise high everyone on to break through to Jack. He and Jack end up flying out to space as they’re squaring off in magift; when Jack realizes how far he has flown up, he’s shocked. Don’t they need oxygen to breathe here?! It’s here that Ortho reveals this is all a dream to him.

Jack is so shocked by the news that he wakes—and then falls out of the sky?! Silver immediately runs to protect everyone. Idia uses the Dream Form Change to forcibly swap Ortho to his Cerberus Gear and Jack to his Dorm Uniform, which help to cushion the blow of their crash landing. Then dream!Leona comes over to check on Jack and decides to bench him.

The darkness tries to deceive Jack, but he actually punches back and refuses to be tricked. bcdbbsksks He cries a little and goes on about how he was so inspired by watching Leona play on TV he’d watch it over and over… only to be disappointed by reality. Jack goes a little overboard though, he starts attacking US too, thinking we’re fakes as well.

Jack quickly comes to see reason and stops trying to deck us. Sebek still seems salty at Savanaclaw for what they tried to pull in book 2 and again reminds Jack of those injustices, saying he won’t forgive them. To his surprise, Jack admits wrongdoing and says it’s only natural some people would still hold grudges and choose to not forgive them. Sebek is so shocked by the fact that honest people like Jack exist in Savanaclaw. Aw… baby’s having his prejudice challenged…

Mentioning this for the Jack lovers: Jack pets Grim on the head and praises him!

LMAo????? Jack grabs Silver’s arm to travel with them and is shocked by how it looks slender but actually you can tell he has trained a ton by feeling it!

They land in Sunrise City in Sunset Savanna. Everyone tells Jack about Dream Form Change, which he says is a spell that looks like it’s from an anime his kid sister watched before. Jack has a had time saying the spell because he finds it embarrassing, but he’s eventually goaded into it (especially by Sebek, who tells him to chat it with his whole damn chest).

Beastman lore!! Apparently beastmen are considered a genus and all beastmen come from Sunset Savanna; over time, they migrated to other parts of the world, especially to some colder locations northward. Jack’s family is included in this, as well as Sebek’s. His grandfather apparently used to live in the wetlands of Sunset Savanna. I guess it just goes to show that no matter how different their individual practices and beliefs… they have common roots.

While they’re admiring the statue of the lion prince in the center of Sunrise City, they notice no hyenas are among the gathered animals. They suggest that maybe the statue was made before the King of Beasts united all animals; the hyenas used to live in their own place called the Land of Shadows.

They review some Sunset Savanna lore, including how difficult it is to unite beastmen of different kinds and how there's a pushback against development due to many beastmen wanting to respect nature. Sometimes the disputes can become violent, and it's all over the news. SHOCKINGLY, Idia has a moment of clarity and realizes that this must be why Leona chose the internship he did at a mining and energy company 😭

Everyone begins to suspect the dream is Leona’s but right then Ruggie rushes by them, declaring that he’s late for school. Jack is surprised that Ruggie is in glasses because in Savanavlaw he would brag about having good eyes.

Ruggie cuts through the market to get to school on time; he seems friendly with the folks and many of them offer him free food. Jack remarks that Ruggie is seen as a hero in his hometown, so maybe this explains the NPCs’ behavior. Apparently he is also an honors student in this world.

Anyway, Ruggie arrives at Ivory Cliff! It seems this school doesn’t exist irl; it’s only in Ruggie’s dream. Most of it is beastment, and over half are hyenas.

Grim watches Ruggie and mobs A and B eating food and leaps in to get some!! (Azul apologizes and lies that Grim is his familiar, lol) Sebek chides Grim for doing this, but then his own stomach growls, giving his own hunger away. He of course denies his hunger—but Ruggie says it’s okay and invites them all to eat!! The local children come to their campus just to have food too. Ivorycliff Academy was built in honor of the three hyenas who served the King of Beasts. They used to be do starved that they could cry, so the school is dedicated to feeding the hungry in the spirit of solidarity.

BRUH 😭 YOu’RE KIDDING ME… In his dream, Ruggie’s dad never left him��� He came back for his son with a fortune he made from working. Ruggie also bought a new car for his granny and never has to be hungry again. Jack wonders if it is really right to take away happiness like that, but ultimately he decides he doesn’t want to see his senpai living a false reality.

Ruggie shows them to a school donut stall with all-you-can-eat toppings. He dumps everything onto a single donut and calls it the "Ruggie Special". The owner drops the lore that in the universe of this dream, apparently LEONA built the school.

According to donut lady, Leona graduated last year and came back after graduating to strengthen his country. He has established several schools and even magift teams. Among young people in the Sunset Savanna, Leona is supposedly also more popular than the crown prince.

Ruggie runs off to class and we stay behind to eat. Donut lady turns to darkness and attacks us, so we beat it back.

Everyone thinks it will be hard to wake Ruggie since he has never met Leona in this reality and doesn’t have any memories of NRC, his club activities, etc. There isn’t much for him to emotionally react to.

WHAT THE HECK is this a Mufasa movie reference in Twst 😭 Ruggie and some mobs talk about a sequel (that’s a live action prequel, I think??) about two characters who are enemies but were actually friends in their youth. Or maybe they’re just talking about some other Lion King prequel I’m not aware of???

J kb bajabakan ahaGayatwHAT

Azul tosses coins of different values which attracts Ruggie’s attention. He has the unique ability to tell the value of a coin just from the sound of it, a skill which Azul learned about from observing Ruggie when he worked part-time at the Mostro Lounge.

Anyway, Ruggie tells mobs A and B to go home without him so he can hunt the coins in peace.

Azul carelessly tosses 500 madol (~5 USD) into the fountain. Ruggie wants it so badly he dives in and starts digging around wildly in the water for the coin. AND AZUL JUST KINDA STANDS THER E TAUNTING HIM LIKE, "OoOOoOoOoh you want that coin so badly, Ruggie, your body moved on instinct BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, BE GREEDY, GET THAT COIN" (NOT AN ACTUAL TRANSLATION, but in the spirit of what Azul actually says).

I assume this is what the Ivorycliff Uniform Ruggie groovy depicts... Bro's tripping and having a cosmic experience all because he spotted A COUPLE DOLLARS.

Nooot sure how to feel about this as a narrative device. On one hand, it's funny and definitely demonstrates Ruggie's shamelessness. On the other hand, I can see why some may see it as distasteful or humiliating because Ruggie is already so destitute irl and yet here they are using him scrounging around for a few dollars as comedic bit.

Mobs A and B return to check on him. Ruggie starts obsessing to them about how you can buy extra or fancy food like the shrimp gratin set for 500 madol!! Which confuses the mobs because all the food at Ivorycliff is free.

On instinct, Ruggie starts reciting what I assume is true of NRC: basic buffet foods are free, but extra foods are an extra cost… uniforms are free but if you ruin the first set then you need to pay for extra ones… etc. Ruggie points out that Ivorcliff uniforms are sucky anyway, with a light color like this, even a little bit of dirt stands out! Night Raven College uniforms are black, so it’s so convenient! Wooow, what a callback to book 2 💀 Ruggie complained about the RSA uniforms being hard to clean back then too…

We beat the mobs up~

Ruggie falls ot his knees and has a good little cry 😭 but then he recovers and says he’d better be paid a good hourly wage for all this trouble cnbdjssbjsks He agrees to join us because “Well, I wake up Leona-san every day so this is literally no different than my usual routine” though he also admits his success rate is like 60-70%.

dnensjsbahsjajw RUGGUE’S On MY shIT LIST TOO. HOW daRE HE… Bro says he’s going to wake up OUR king now, that he doesn’t want to follow a false king.. ARE YOU FR 💀 JE’S TAlKING AbOUT zbsvsjabskshFd;,,,/;~~\4!’ansnjahVb,dDDGfgGJjkJSDgabakaojrr a kKNBD gbmmkojnkFSAAQWVNmkoggDFFHvjkkp OTL

PAUSE TO STARE AT RUGGIE'S CRYING FACE BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL I FEEL LIKE I'M STARING AT A KICKED PUPPY

And so…! They’re off!!

This update ends up Ruggie’s dream concluding. Next time (on the 29th), it’s time for us to wake up Leona!!

asdbkhlfbyofqeyg80eg8qegppf OKAY. I WAS NOT EXPECT THIS AMOUNT OF LEONA GLAZING IN THIS UPDATE 🤡 Like, GOOD LORD was there a lot of it... I sort of expected it in Jack's dream since he idolizes Leona, but I was not expecting it to come up in Ruggie's dream too. Even though it doesn't seem like Ruggie has met Leona in the universe of his own dream... the dream world still created lore about how Leona successfully graduated and made the decision to come back and better his country, especially for the destitute hyenas like himself 💀💀💀 WHICH JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT EVERYONE IN LEONA'S DORM RESPECTS HIM AND BELIEVES HE CAN LEAD THEM TO A BRIGHTER FUTURE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL--

ASDBKLHABIYOFAYFQEIBAF STFU ME, THIS UPDATE ISN'T ABOUT HIM.. .. . . . ....... . . . ... . .. . . . . . . LET'S TALK ABOUT JACK AND RUGGIE.

I think this update was one of the funnier ones by far. I'm on Grim's side, it was very unnerving to see a helpful, reliable Leona that plays by the rules and is a good sportsman... but at the same time, it's only to be expected of Jack. Since book 2, he's made it clear he looks up to his dorm leader and wants to be able to put his faith in him. It was nice to see everyone acknowledge how a Leona that doesn't hold back is a genuine threat and how this is the version of him that Jack wants to see realized. It's cute how Jack has this pure want to play with Leona and wants to see him as an idealized leader... Definitely puppy-coded behavior.

Something else I really appreciated about Jack's dream is the logic that went into waking him up. It was really a tag-team effort by Azul and Ortho and, unlike previous updates, I felt like the previous OB boy's presence was a Nothing addition to the cast and didn't contribute much. But Azul uses his smooth talking to convince dream!Leona to play against them, and then Ortho isolates Jack to knock some sense into him. I liked that Ortho, the robot, used cold, hard facts to reason his way to a situation where Jack was more likely to react with strong emotionality. Azul becomes useful again in Ruggie's dream, where he single-handedly wakes the guy up with some spare change he had on hand www

The exchange between Sebek and Jack was great, but I wish it had been extended... It feels like they added it to help with Sebek's character arc of overcoming prejuidice about non-fae, which is fine! But I think it should have been carried over into Ruggie's dream (in that section where they talk about different beastmen in the savanna). Like... it would tie together so well if Sebek had a moment of just "............." in indicate that he's thinking about what was just said, about how different beastmen, despite their differences, all originated in the same place. It would show us that he's slowly realizing, little by little, to accept non-fae.

I think Jack attacking us was an interesting beat to include, especially with all the theories swirling about how the Savanaclaw update will be the one to shake up the formula. Perhaps this is a preview of what's to come in Leona's section??? It proves Ortho's point that you're more likely to think and act with your emotions leading you rather than logic if you're already hyped about something. (In Jack's case, he was still coming off the caution and the high of beating back dream!Ruggie and Leona.)

I felt very similar to Jack in Ruggie's dream, doubting whether or not it was morally right to rip someone away from their happiness--especially considering all that Ruggie has gone through. Little guy was so devastated to find out the truth too... When I think about it, he's gone through so much tragedy in his life. His mom's dead, his dad left him, he grew up destitute and having to scrape by, he had to get LITERAL GARBAGE (depicted in the manga adaptation) to survive some days. It's no wonder why the people in his hometown call him their hero, it's a miracle that he lived this long and managed to get into a prestigious school. I think Ruggie's dream also highlights that he's not JUST greedy because he's greedy. Ruggie clearly cares about other people living well too (something alluded to early in book 4), because why else would Ivorycliffs casually offer free food to everyone and anyone? Why else would he spend tons of cash to buy his grandma stuff? He's thankful for what he has and wants to give back to the community that supported him. The supportive community is also generally reflected in his dream, specifically the market he passes on his way to school.

Ultimately, I do think it's for the best that Ruggie was roused awake because um... HEY, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END. Coming to that conclusion also speaks a lot about Jack's character: above all, he values honesty, even if the truth hurts. Excellent carry-over from book 2 (where he was the whistleblower), honestly.

One thing I wished they had expanded on was the relation of hyenas to other beastmen. It’s implied they are second class citizens, but it’s never clearly stated why that is other than “oh they live in a place that lions didn’t rule”. I would have liked more historical context for that discrimination; it would have helped to flesh out the world.

Overall, liked this update a lore more than the previous ones. I don’t know if I can still say this after the second part comes out (because I’ve usually had the most criticism for how the OB boys’ dreams ate handled), but so far I’m surprised by Jack and Ruggie (in a good way). Fingers crossed for the 29th! 🤞

[genericpuff]

WTs behavior sure is... *something* to watch as a latecommer. you've covered it all better than I can articulate but damn does it ever haunt that they've essentially tripled-down on Rachel as the winning racehorse, someone who's historically been the most "go girl give us nothing" (if not worse than nothing) of all their past bigshots even w/o the trust in the show sinking lower and lower day by silent day.

It's not a profound remark but I stand in the on going scene like "This is it? Your plan?" as they keep digging. They desperately need something new to have breakout popularity, but they can't do that if they don't take in new blood, which they won't because new blood is a risk, etc. And so the scene is damned anew.

look, off the non-existent record that is my shitposting blog, as someone who just spent half an hour listening to their recent conference call with Goldman Sachs... in my very humble opinion, there is allegedly a metric FUCKTON of copium being huffed and I don't think the Goldman Sachs rep even realizes how much he's being talked down to. It's actually fucking hilarious. And I'm just a dweeb on the Internet, I shouldn't be sitting here picking up on the condescending vibes for what they are throughout a meeting that talks about shit like investment opportunities and quarterly returns and advertising metrics but... let's just say, WT's CFO David Lee's statement, "...proof will be in quarters I release, and I'm humbled by the reaction to my Q2 release which, again, I have to say, I thought I over delivered every single metric... but here we are, and I just have to continue to post results I guess to help educate all of you on the business I think we have" is even more passive aggressive to hear than it is to read, soooo here we are. Like, the chirpy tone in his voice just makes me think of this:

and yeah at this point they're beating the dead horse that is LO harder than the critical community is because even the critical community has largely moved on with their lives and only talk about it casually with other critical readers; meanwhile Webtoons is seriously over here trying to sell people on LO as if it's still 2021 and they're not years late to the party 💀 Even that quote I included in my last post saying that Rachel got started "4 or 5 years ago"... Lore Olympus launched in the Canvas section in 2017 and then as an Originals in March 2018. It's been longer than 4 years, Mr. Lee, and at this point the amount of time that's passed since selling its TV rights to Jim Henson Company will exceed the amount of time it took to even complete the comic in the first place 😭😆 The time to capitalize on LO's success was when it was successful, not 3-4 years after the fact.

[shreddeddescent]

weird barely thought out rambling about my process here sorry if it sounds like a lot

so i guess i should say there was totally an idea of a plan in place for like. okay they’ll all get one on one time then i can get em all talking and explaining plot something and get stuff rolling.

but then it was like jennika reached through the screen and grabbed me and said NO. help mikey right now this isnt just flavour text you have to commit. and i said yep no you’re so right actually thats way more important.

and then i guess that happened it made me kinda look back over everything and everyone and decide WELL. maybe this is what the story really is, just a lot of overly emotional vulnerable conversations where everybody feels fucked up but they just kinda talk it through with each other, as good or bad as they are at it. maybe thats more important.

i guess the things i wrote just trying to flesh out the rest of it ended up being the story kinda thing. the aftermath of all these other things turned out to be more interesting than trying to get into some "real" plot.

like to be fucking real thats whats been so interesting to me. the 'worst case scenario' ended ages ago, intended to just be that part as a 'get it out of your system' personal thing of writing the most fucked up thing i could. but then it kept going with the effects of it still hang over the characters.

shredders dead yet somehow its like hes still the main antagonist because all the conflict stems from him. defeating him didnt end the story.

i guess i could say over and over that if i had thought it all through it would come off better. dont know if i would have implemented things like raph's comatose state or random forced pheromone bullshit, nor the speed up on the pregnancy period. feel like i would have put april and casey into the story better without dropping them the way i have. i could have written better set up, better payoff. but its not about being planned, its all a weird game of improv im playing with myself that has the unintended consequences of being too fascinating to stop. too fascinating to keep to myself.

and thats been what it is, the gross messy dramatic sappy corny healing process. its absolutely gonna be over 200k words by the end, which is. you know. NUTS. ive not posted my writing before all this nonsense so hhhhrgh you know.

but....... maybeeee its kinda a lot? like too corny too dark too messy too weirdly written? but i just feel like.... meh. its my personal soap opera, i get to decide how long that shit goes on for. whether it seems like im beating a dead horse or not, its my dead horse to beat.

and things like that last chapter are like... AH. would everyone have rathered i sit them all down and make them tell you whats going on? too bad, leos had an anxiety attack so we dont get that right now cuz he genuinely cant take it. the completely unintentional letting the characters fucking experience complicated emotions even if they are gonna get in the way of what my plan might have been IS the story.

in a sense i am the adult turtles telling those kids 'no its okay, take a second to feel that out, we can wait'

its such an interesting way of expressing something, not really sure what else i could say.

but im having fun. i guess thats the point.

if my insanity helps anybody else, well, thats a bonus.

[fayesdiary]

6, 8 and 30 for the meme?

6) Who's your favorite lord/protagonist?

Celica and Micaiah are two other huge favorites! I've spoken on length on why i love them so... Yeah, I think they're neat and every time someone says something mean about them I love them more out of spite.

8) Least favorite lord/protagonist?

....Ephraim.

Before I inevitably get booed off the stage, hear me out.

I have two major problems with Ephraim: First is that his arc of becoming a less reckless, wiser leader feels entirely informed when he spends the entire story charging in and stabbing whatever's in front of him and it keeps working, but the second, far bigger problem I have with him is that he constantly makes Eirika look like an idiot for trying to clean up after him.

Biggest offender being the early chapters where Ephraim is the one who has the brilliant idea to charge into Grado with only three other men and engage in guerilla warfare for nothing other than his lust for battle, when Eirika chases after him to rescue him because this shit will inevitably get him captured or killed, guess what?

By plot contrivances, she is the one who gets captured and Ephraim's the one to rescue her. Fuck off game, seriously.

Also in the Eirika Route she fails to save Queen Ismaire despite having the entire army on her side and Ephraim apparently manages to conquer Grado all by himself along with probably a bunch of green units, for all they're worth.

Granted, I haven't played Sacred Stones in years so I could very well remember things to be worse than they actually are, but... yeah. Doesn't help that no one seems to really criticize Ephraim because according to mainstream fandom, the quality of a lord's writing depends entirely on how many people they stab. The more people they stab, the better written they are.

30) Since horse abuse is currently popular on Tumblr, beat up a dead horse with your take on an oversaturated topic🐴

Phoenix Mode was not only an harmless inclusion in Fates but it should have become a mainstay in the series. If someone wants to play Fire Emblem like a visual novel, then by all means let them.

And this is more of a complaint I have with the gaming community in general, but for the love of Sothis shut up about difficulty settings and stop complaining about how people don't play single player games the way you want them to.

[marithlizard]

I liked “Exes and Ohs” much better than “Seeing Stars”, even though I have a few complaints about the plot; it feels like season two is starting to hit its stride. We needed to put Stolas and his relationship with Blitzo on the back burner for a bit and get some time with the imps. 

Live reaction-notes:

- The backgrounds of the IMP office raise so many questions.  Blitzo why did you make a transphobic horse OC?   How did you get a bust of yourself made?

(Immediate theory:  A sinner who was a sculptor in life offered to make it as part of their payment.  It makes sense that IMP would accept barter because sinners don't always have a lot of cash, especially when they're new.  That would explain why we see new art around the office all the time.)  

- Moxxie. My dude.  MOXXIE. Loona does not think you are fat.  She just knows it upsets you.  There is no way you can logically disprove her bullying. Do not let her stress you into an eating disorder or keep you from enjoying food.

- Millie WTF?  Did a human beat you in combat?  That hasn't happened since back in episode 1.  I want to know what has you so mad but I'm also now invested in the relationship drama going on over on that whiteboard.  King Slut is going to get what's coming to him and Blue Cheese needs better taste in side hoes.

- Wouldn't it be funny if Millie's ex was - Nahhhh.

- What are those photos spilling out of the filing cabinet?  Does IMP have a sideline in PI-style snooping?  Is that...normal for furry cosplay sex?    

-Oh, it's just Blitzo's porn stash.  I'm sure Stolas would be into using those costumes and quite possibly they have, but I don't really wanna imagine it. But I do want to imagine M&M  trying to alphabetize the collection.

- As most of us guessed,  IMP was a regular hell-side hitman outfit before they got the book.  It's interesting that Blitzo doesn't seem interested in taking local jobs anymore.  Surely they could use the money.  

- C for Crimson on the driver's cap, but no recognition on Moxxie's face yet.  And we're goin'  back to the Greed ring!    (Moxxie said he was raised in Wrath, though, I thought. So he lies about his past.)

- Blitzo is still obsessing about M&M, but he's gone several episodes now without a single abusive rant at Moxxie. He is seriously trying to do better after "Truth Seekers".  

- Loona really doesn't belong at this company, does she.   Nobody acknowledged her existence except Moxxie this whole episode.  I hope we see her find a place that suits her better soon.

- "Elevator Hangar 03".  So even flights between Rings take the elevators. That suggests helicopters are what gets used, rather than planes that can't hover.

- Fizzarolli's adult clown look was modeled after Mammon, wasn't it?  

- Uhh..is that demonstrative violence, or is it actually pretty hard to permanently kill an imp?  Hmmmmmmm.

- You might wanna ask questions when the guy who was raised here has an immediate panic attack and starts yelling "No no no" as soon as you arrive, guys?  Blitzo, how have you lived this long being this vulnerable to flattery and this unable to recognize danger signals?

- All the trophies on the walls reminding us of the murder family.  (Are those little hearts between the succubus wings the ends of their tails?) Blitzo's "please do not ask me details about my lucrative circus career" expression.

- WHAT? CALLED IT I CALLED IT OMG  wow he's an idiot he's just stepped in the door and I want him dead already.  Did you just say "two big sex reunions"?  Excuse me those claws do not look practical even if most demons are into pain play. If you were really a sex god you’d have a couple of them trimmed all the way down.

- Blitzo erupting in jealousy.  Yes, there's someone who's fucked both of them and it was not you.  At least you haven't also slept with Chaz (although I am putting that down to chance and not any kind of good taste on your part).  

- Huge-eyed baby Moxxie!  Mom in shadow, what is she holding? flowers?  Blitzo how can you possibly be this slow on the uptake?

- I am distracted from the cute grenade moment by the aesthetic atrocity that is Chaz's tail.  What. How do you put on pants.      It does seem to have been an actual relationship, though, or at least a fling.    Moxxie get that nostalgic smile off your face oh my GOD that wasn't nostalgia.

- "Draw me like one of your French imps", huh?  oh. Oh dear.  Millie is 1000% better than this dirtbag in every possible way, why are you regretting him at all?

- HI BLITZO! Huh, they let him keep his boots in jail.  Loona surely does not have a babysitter. Was he that overprotective?  Or was he bullshitting? If so, it worked, you can see Moxxie’s face change at the idea of this guy as a loving dad. (Which he is! It just...works better if people imagine Loona is a young kid.)

- I thought that might be what Moxxie sees in Blitzo.  Someone who gave him a way out of his old life, someone who's proven trustworthy despite his flaws. Not quite sure how to interpret Blitzo's expression on hearing this.   A mixture of touched and regretful?

- Yeah, you fuck him up, MillWHOA that is a level of rage I did not expect.  What did Chaz do to HER?  

- PFFT  Blitzo reverses it because "horseless friendfucker" is what Chaz is as far as he's concerned.  

- Is Blitzo thinking:  I don't talk about my dick like that.  Do I? Please tell me I'm not this fucking obnoxious.   Oh god keep this guy FAR away from Stolas.

- What the FUCK, Crimson.  Homophobia, contempt, abuse, you're clearly the whole package, but you redecorated with neon dicks to insult your son?

- At least someone's happy.

- We're consistently not seeing mom's face and it is weirding me out.  ohno.  Not hard to tell where this is going.  oh NO.  

- Moxxie's tenderheartedness in "Murder Family" isn't so funny anymore is it.  Burn the fucking mansion down, Moxxie.  Millie will help and I doubt Blitzo will be opposed.   I didn't see them confiscate your phones, so text  them.

- Chaz you are making Blitzo look modest and tasteful.

- I completely forgot we hadn't had a musical number yet.  Can we - can we skip it this once?

- BLITZO

- Did he just say "chill the fuck out?" Is he not having fun over there because I really hope he is not.  I hope this is the worst lay of your life, Blitzo.

- Well, he doesn't look like he had fun.  At all.  Was this a ploy?  No, he’s just an opportunistic chaos gremlin.

- Uh. Moxxie I admire your spine here, but not your brains. How are you going to keep him from cutting bits off Millie until you give in?  I certainly hope you did something useful with that phone earlier.  (Spoiler: He did not.)  

- Oh! Blitzo's feet are just shaped like heeled boots.  Wacky.

- Now THAT'S more the musical number I wanted.  

- Millie. 10/10 no notes.  Perfection.   I'm not even gonna ask how they had enough time to repaint the banner and retrieve Blitzo's clothes (you know he'll be back in his own coat next episode).  

[originemesis]

@chasingrainbcws xxx

...This misogynistic, arrogant, obnoxious piece of... !

❝ I told you already, I am not signing off on that proposal ! It's a bunch of nonsense that's either totally perverted or genocidal, and only serves you. So unless you're willing to discuss the changes I suggested, it looks like you're gonna miss your reservation. ❞ Fuck, it takes every ounce of self control she has to use the word reservation, instead of booty-call. Don't stoop to his level, Charlie. Despite insisting that she had work to do, she wasn't budging on this matter; she'd sit here all night if she had to, until they came to an agreement... which, in truth, she didn't see as a feasible outcome. He was too selfish, too stubborn, and too... Adam.

He's starting to suspect her father sent her just to fuck with him given how unbudgingly Karen she's being about a little tender loving genocide spread evenly across all rings of hell vs the dead horse of pride he keeps beating. Well! Two could play that game. Only he'd be the one winning.

"So what you're saying is-" He remarks with a bored flick of the wrist, his gaze settling on the ever tidy ends of buffed talons like he was considering the sharpness needed to pierce and pin her arm into the signing position. "you didn't read shit. Interesting strategy, not gonna lie ~ but! That's not going to cut it in the diplomacy department. Maybe you should let 'daddy dearest' take back over these visits if you're going to be a little bitch about it." Welp- they're definitely sharp enough, but like hell he's getting her gross demon blood on his robe and scuffing his mani.

Garish gaze flicking back over to find her seething exasperation, he spares her a calculating smirk, neck cracking beneath its company of golden spikes. If she doesn't like to actually read his doodle filled proposals, this might just work in his favor. "Riiiight- changes. The ones that were so unimpactful that I crossed them out. Yikes- am I right?" Palms flatten and follow his shrug over the shoulder line before he leans back into his seat- or rather the portal he forms in his chair to appear behind her in the blink of an eye, looming around the back of her chair, talons drumming impatiently along the table's edge.

"Why don't we discuss them...?" A snap and a portal beneath them later, their discussion table has silverware and wine glasses. The embassy is now an open balcony and a single candle lit table with the only semblance of company being the muffled laughs and conversations happening below the private seating area. "-over dinner? Believe me, babe ~ I'm a lot more 'agreeable' fed." A dig to hell never providing meeting snacks? Perhaps. Either way, better for her to think that men are controlled more with their stomachs than their dicks.

Plopping into his new seat across from her with a lazy arm hooked over the back of his chair, he beckons the shuffled documents up into the air and flicks through them one by one with the unenthusiastic energy of a swiping-left-athon. Whether he's actually reading them instead of the menu that got swept up with the rest of the paperwork is anyone's guess.

[fowlblue]

oc question things!

14, 16, 41 for literally any one of the lot (or all!)

And A or G for all as well?

Hell yeah let’s do this-

(thought it might be fun to have them answer some of these, lol)

14). What animal do their fear most?

Valentine: “…I don’t really care for horses. They look like they know too much.”

Tim: “Spiders. I’m not a fan of… anything about them, really. The whole ‘skittering’ thing, their webs… gross.”

Jon: “I don’t like mice. Or roaches. Those kinds of things. Usually they don’t make it all the way up the Needle, though, so I’m good.”

Butler: “Trolls. Next question.”

16). What makes their stomach turn?

Valentine: “…Brakes. The sound of brakes squealing. Let’s go with that.”

Tim: “Cooking… meat, I guess? Sometimes I can’t even be in the kitchen while Butler is working- it brings up bad memories. Especially if it burns.”

Jon: “Blood on my suit. Or in my hair. That shit’s nasty.”

Butler: “…I feel like I’ve seen too many people die to give that a fair answer, but the ‘look’ of the dead is something one never forgets. Especially when you have died once, yourself.”

41). How do they feel about children?

Valentine: “Not for me- but I don’t, like, hate them? They’re noisy. They’re funny, sometimes. That’s about it.”

Tim: “I love my own children dearly, of course- more than words can say. But others’ children make me feel… awkward, I suppose? I don’t really know what to do with them, and the looks on their faces when they first see mine don’t feel very good. If their own parents are present to keep an eye on them, it’s fine- minding the twins is enough of a handful for me.”

Jon: “Kids are fun- they got the funniest fuckin�� sense of humor. The world hasn’t gotten to em’ yet. Sometimes I wish I had some, but I’d be a pretty shit parent, I think.”

Butler: “I hardly think Artemis could be considered a normal child, but having helped raise two of them, children are perfectly fine. I don’t think I would know what to do with a child born to a normal life, however. What kind of mischief would that even entail? I’m too used to…” *gestures vaguely at Fowl Manor* “-all of this.”

A). Why are you excited about this character?

I love all my bastard men so much- I don’t really have a set reason as to why, I just do. They’re so fun to play mix-n-match with, situations-wise, and I love that I’ve given some of them a slightly stronger presence in the fandom! Also, I just. Love that people love Valentine, lol- it makes me really happy

G). What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Valentine- It is very hard for me to word the specific kind of violent/volatile nature Valentine has. I really don’t want to project this idea that he’s a guy who just loves beating up and harming random people, because he doesn’t. He just has very little qualms about killing people in his way, and gets violent specifically with enemies that have managed to piss him off. But it’s still annoying to write.

Tim- Tim… my guy… you have a good heart, I know it, the peace you want and the life and safety you want for your family is all great things… please word the things you say better.

Jon- Honestly, I can’t think of anything?? Like he’s such an asshole but… that’s his whole thing. Jon is a cartoonishly evil businessman, down to the T. If I was mad about that, it’d be like getting mad at The Riddler for riddling or something.

Butler- Butler is so stoic and stubborn about admitting literally anything the Fowls/Butlers/Artemis does is fucked up, or that the whole dynamic thing is fucked up, or any of that. Please my man, recognize that your life and childhood have had a massive thread of “that’s fucked up, actually”… and maybe have a good cry about it. You need one.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 14: Yurak Gets His Pink Slip

Betrayal episode? I sure hope so

Yurak is heading towards Arus again, but surprisingly the team is already waiting Good for them, they're learning to plan ahead

THE CAMERA ZOOMED ON GREEN LION AND NOW I HAVE THIS SHOT OF PIDGE BEING A CUTIE AS ALWAYS LOOK AT HIM HOW ADORABLE

Are the lions actually mystical in the original? I swear they were supposed to just be ships, but I guess not because they growled a bit and looked towards Yurak's incoming fleet The pilots only looked AFTER the lions made noise, interesting

I get that they have to fill the more or less fighting scenes with some talking but did they really have to call out every weapon before an attack the lions are voice activated LMAO

WHEN THE HELL DID BLACK LION GET A CHEST LASER I FEEL LIKE THAT SHOULDN'T BE A WEAPON HE HAS BUT ??

Apparently that's all it took to take an entire battle cruiser down because that thing is GONE Yurak survives of course

Zarkon has a council under him?? Interesting

"You're a born loser, and you know how violently ill it makes King Zarkon to lose!" GODDAMN HAGGAR, I wish modern cartoons would stop pulling punches like older ones did

BANISHMENT FOR YURAK RAAAA And Zarkon slaps him for begging for mercy how fun

AYO LOTOR GETS INTRODUCED THIS EPISODE?? THIS IS GOING TO GET BOTH REALLY BAD AND REALLY FUN Rip to Allura though she gets no rest after this episode

Oh shit Zarkon actually hugged Lotor?? And gave him words of encouragement That's the only time we're seeing that lol

Lotor is now commander, everything is falling into place

Back at the castle, Pidge is teaching the mice acrobatics and it's very cute lol

An attack begins and Lotor is making demands, not even stopping when he sees Allura though he does have a slight interest in her Very weird compared to the obsession I'm used to seeing of him, maybe that's just a fandom thing

Every time I see horses in dotu I keep thinking of one of the voltron comics that had weird purple and earless horses to show the team was on an alien planet LMAO

DID KEITH JUST JUMP A FUCKING RAVINE WITH A HORSE?? WHAT KIND OF MINECRAFT PHYSICS IS THIS

"It appears we are evenly matched" "oh yeah?" "except when it comes to brains!" LOTOR PROCEEDS TO BASH KEITH ON THE HEAD WITH A ROCK AS IF THEY WERE CAIN AND MOTHERFUCKING ABEL

keith slams his face HARD into rock how is his nose not broken

Yurak is not banished but instead was made to do something worse, become a robeast rip my guy he's already dead anyway

"[yurak has] turned into an ugly monster!" "he always was one!" GET HIS ASS PIDGE

Allura find keith at the bottom of the ravine and obvs he wakes up because plot armor, also the horse is alive and found his way down to Keith so he can get to the castle, also plot armor lol

im surprised nanny even argued with keith so he could rest at the castle, i didn't think she actually cared about the boys at all

giant mech fight time! and they have cut off yuraks ears,, does that constitute as body horror? ok fight over he's dead

/episode end!

I thought Lotor would be his obsessive self but I guess it gets worse later in the show or something, plus I guess this is where his rivalry with Keith starts, not because of the love triangle but because Keith beat him at a sword fight

he wasn't sore about it though? maybe i'll see more about it later in the show

[tetrisfinished]

yasir and i

maybe someday i'll write a book about my life and dedicate an era to "yasir and i".

the era that started happy and ended broken? but then, who knows - maybe by the time i end up writing this magical, fictional book - that era will have pushed me into another era of mending the breaks and healing.

who knows about life.

in any case. yasir and i have more or less stopped talking to each other. we're more on the same page now than we've really ever been in the past, i think. i'm confirmed that i do not respect him and he's confirmed of the same.

but neither of us seems to want to budge from this situation.

so that's that. any time we do talk (read: i do talk - he never initiates), it's over text. after i got home from badminton last night, i messaged him. and we had a long conversation. if you could see the conversation though, it might not seem like one. it might seem just like me talking AT yasir with the occasional reply here and there.

but overall the conclusion of the conversation was the following:

we are no longer "working" on our marriage; it's expired, it's stale, it's been defeated, it's done.

there's really no point in (my) hope that someday he'll realize what he's missing out on with us (his wife and kid), that someday he'll re-prioritize his life, that someday he'll figure that shit out. because it won't happen

his values and my values do NOT align. where i want to focus on raising my kid properly, where i am constantly trying to better myself to be better for esa - he is not.

he's changed whatever he can, but he's done changing - this was point blank a statement he made. he's done changing.

and i guess that's it.

and oh ya he won't communicate with me on why he's lost respect for me. i've told him time and time again what i feel and how i feel but he refuses to let me know the same.

"you already know" is what his stance on that is. and "maybe you should think and reflect".

so i finally said no, thank you.

this lack of communication and clarity is a tool he's used many times in the past as well. to manipulate my feelings and emotions. to try and gain an upper hand. but genuinely, i'm starting to see that i'm playing all of these games in my own head. despite that i do believe he's very aware and understands exactly what effects his actions have - he claims to be indifferent. so really, from the outside it must look like i'm going crazy in my own head.

after last night's conversation....after his point blank responses on clarifying points 1 through 4 above - i think, actually, i've got a lot of closure.

i know it takes 2 hands to clap, and i'm not for a minute claiming that i don't share any of the blame. but i am doing what i can to be better. i'm making the sacrifices. i'm having the conversations.

or i was. i will continue to be my best self for esa. but i think i have closure with yasir. i think i'm done having this conversation. i think i'm done trying to beat a dead horse.

i genuinely think i'm done waiting and hoping for yasir to change, his mind, his behaviour, his priorities.

it just will not happen. so that is that.

honestly, it sucks, i want to cry but the tears are not coming. and i think that's because....well what is there to cry over that i haven't already spent the past 7 years of my life crying over? i think it's okay.

i will remain in this marriage as far as i can tell, because we have a kid and a home and in this home, for as much time as possible, esa sees two parents.

that is the stability and comfort that i can offer him as far as our marriage is concerned.

and i know what you're going to say to me - it doesn't make sense to stay for your kid. well i'm just not willing to break my kids' house at this very current moment. and divorce has no scenario in which we keep this presence of both of us in esa's life as much as we are now. despite that yasir regularly fucks off to his family for large amounts of time.

so that's that.

i'm done talking about this for now.

much love,

k

[katsukikitten]

Oh you so get me. Yeah Uncle Festus pinned up against the tree and fucking Gabby pinned underneath a big ass stone table are you kidding me?? All she ever wanted to do was watch unicorns and be a herald of inevitable endings and she got crushed for it?? Not to mention Cicero's backstory, like the brotherhood was literally just a band of misfits finding family in each other and Astrid was such an ass about everyone following her rules that she made up which in the days of the original brotherhood tenets would make her a heretic.

Idk what version you're playing but before the tenth anniversary release, there was this bug doing the Dawnguard questline where if you started it with a follower, when you find (idk if you've done this quest so I'm just gonna call her Her but basically she's a goth dommy mommy that everyone loves) Her, she would join you and your follower and so me and Her and Cicero were wandering skyrim as this crazy bloodthirsty power throuple and I miss those days cuz they fixed that bug ugh let me have my murderous crazies

As for avoiding the main quest line, I do the same thing lmao cuz if you never go to that ruined tower outside whiterun and kill the dragon there, then dragons literally don't spawn and I find it so annoying trying to just do my thing and suddenly there's a dragon like come on man I'm busy!! But also I agree about the thieve's guild, I wish there was more you could do after the main quest other than the little jobs Vex and Delvin give you and the couple ones from Delvin that fix up the Flagon

Speaking of the Ragged Flagon though, Vekel the Man kinda... 👀 Lowkey most of the people in the guild could get it I have such a huge crush on Niruin and Bryn and Sapphire

-Skyrim anon

YOU MEAN VAMPIRE MOMMY? I dead ass just beat the last part of her quest last night aka killed her dad. Finding her in that puzzle where she's just locked up had me so sad

But I hate, HATE having a follower 😭 they always get caught or go who's there. Like girl we're here and now they know too 😭 like the enemy will go past me and agro her that's how bad it was 😂 I got all three elder scrolls and then killed her dad last night. Which I'm wondering if the boy and arrow are really worth it. Which I also didn't realize that I only had killing her dad left? Cause I took a short break cause her quest line was by far the longest, no complaints tho. But anyway the vampires were getting me more than the dragons 😭 in fact I wish more low dragons would come find me but since I sneak everywhere it doesn't happen

OH I FOUND THE UNICORN TOO 😭 SHE COULD HAVE SEEN IT! no stable for the unicorn or shadowmare have been killing me cause when I fast travel the horse is why vampires agro me 😭 but now I shouldn't have to worry about that hopefully? Delphine wants me to go to some random cave so I guess I'll go explore and fight all the dragons 😭 I know I'm so far from beating the game but I so don't want to get even close because I just LOVE this game. Did you do the quest line with that new island? I started doing a few at the raven point place but then wanted to go back to Skyrim to keep exploring 😂

OH did you ever do that quest line in solitude where you take the guys pelvis bone into the palace abandoned wing to talk to that demon and fight some dudes insecurities for a staff that does what it wants? 😂

[sepdet]

I guess we know what all those phone calls with Netanyahu were about now, eh?

... sorry to beat a dead horse, but I'm still so frustrated US voters fell for this, again, with so many lives at stake.

Trump learned this ploy from Reagan in 1980, who secretly promised Iran a better deal if they delayed releasing the hostages Carter was negotiating for to make him look bad during the election.

Palestinians did not want Trump to be elected — after all, his moving the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem is a major factor in starting the current conflict.

Islamophobia was a cornerstone of Trump's 2016 campaign; his first act as president was to ban Muslims from entering the US and, ominously, set up a framework for a Muslim registry, although protests and legal challenges stopped him. But he started by adapting Nazi measures against Muslims.

This time, he repeatedly said during his campaign the US should let Israel "finish the job," criticizing Biden for delaying arms shipments, and blasting Harris for her critique of Israel during her private meeting with N after avoiding his speech to Congress.

When Colbert asked Harris how close ceasefire negotiations were, she said it didn't matter: they thought they'd gotten there several times, but almost wasn't good enough.

But with Trump undermining them— it did matter. Because he's encouraging more genocide.

I don't know how much a President Kamala Harris who "would not be silent" about the humanitarian crisis would actually do to help, other than the US' inadequate aid program which Trump will almost certainly end, but she would not do this.

So what the fuck can we do now?

I wish I knew.

Write letters to our reps... It can't hurt...demanding the ceasefire be honored or aid to Israel stopped?

Insist humanitarian aid to Palestinians be increased, not cut?

And of course, keep sifting through all the heartbreaking requests for aid and chipping in— there's so, so many starfish on this beach.

Only day 5 into Trump's term, and we're already at Nazi salutes at the presidential podium and ethnic cleansing. Still no word on when those lower grocery & gas prices are supposed to drop. 😒

[catboy-changeling]

Tldr I told my therapist I was struggling with stuff and she told me to google it instead of trying to help so now I'm ranting in the tags about the joke that is The Mental Health System

Ignore me

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Not All Family Is Blood

Gif credit @bodybebangin.

Hope you all enjoy.

If you would like to be tagged in Yellowstone fics, I'll be happy to tag you so you don't miss out.

Warning: Assault. Mentioning of abuse. Custody battle.

"Daddy Rip"! Reilly, your six year old daughter screamed with a giggle running down to the barn where Rip was attending to his horse. You might be wondering why she called him daddy Rip well it's kind of complicated.

"Hey, baby girl". He laughed scooping her up in his arms and hugging her tight.

"Guess what I made in school today"? She asked excitedly.

"What's that"? Rip matched her excitement. Rip isn't her biological father. Her dad is still alive and somewhat in her life. But Rip has been there since the beginning. You two started off as friends and then the love grew more and you two got together when she was two. So all she knew him as was daddy Rip.

"I made a star from fruit loops".

Rip dramatically gasped as he was surprised but he knew what she was doing. He got her the fruit loops that morning and put them in her bookbag. "That's so cool. Did you save me any"?

Reilly giggled. "No daddy Rip. I used them all".

"Ah okay. I'll just eat your ears". Rip evily laughed as he nibbled on her ears. She was in a giggle fit.

"Put me down". She laughed and became serious when she had had enough. Rip put her down with a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hey baby". He pulled you to him and kissed your lips softly.

"Hey". You smile exhausted.

"What's wrong"?

"Nothing". You nodded to Reilly.

"Riels, why dont you go down there and beat up your uncle Jimmy. I give you permission while I talk to mommy". Rip chuckled as she ran off.

"What's going on"?

"Brian. He wants to take me back to count for custody".

"Why's he doing this now? You just came from court a week ago and they gave you full custody".

"He's being a dick. Just to make me mad".

"You know, that wont ever happen? He's not taking Reilly away from you. I'll make sure of that".

"Rip, you cant threaten him. He doesn't care that you will beat him to a pulp. He'll just use it against me in court".

Rip wrapped his arms around you protectively. "I'm not going to threaten him. I'm going to make sure he doesnt ever walk again. He wont take Reilly away. I promise. So dont worry". Rip kissed your head, reassuringly.

"Okay".

"Alright then. Let's go get our little cowgirl and head home".

"You go. I'm to tired to walk down there". You groaned with a giggle.

"Alright". Rip chuckled and went on his way. As you started up to your car you saw a black beat up car pull in and you knew exactly who it was.

"Bitch, where is my daughter"? Brian yelled from his car. He was to lazy to get out.

"What are you doing here? You cant just show up unannounced. This isn't my home".

"Where is Reilly"? Brian asked once again and this time got out of the car.

"She's with Rip".

"You let him take my daughter, alone"? He scoffed.

"I trust him more that I can throw you".

"Listen, you little bitch. If my daughter isn't in front of me in five seconds. I'm going to call the cops and say you're trying to kidnap her. Dont test me, whore". Brian was right up in your face.

"I dont have to do anything you say, Brian". You looked him cold in the eyes.

Brian clicked his tongue and started nodding his head. That's when you knew he was angry.

Before you knew it, his hand collided with your cheek and you felt shooting pain on the right side of your face.

"I'm going to tell you one more time. Get my daughter"! He yelled in your ear.  You jerked your head back to look at him. Your blood was boiling. After taking years of his abuse, you finally wanted to kill him.

"Y/N"? Rip called out as he walked up to the cars. Teeter and Colby followed him.

"Give me my daughter asshole". Brian spoke stepping in front of you. You still held your face.

Rip handed Rielly to Teeter and told her and Colby to take Rielly inside his place. They quickly left.

"You do that to her face"? Rip jogged up to Brian, pointing to you. His cowboy boots scattered dust as he jogged.

"Bitch, needed to learn. She doesn't disobey me". Brian turned his slightly looking at you with a smirk.

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you". Rip reared back and punched Brian in the face. Brian stumbled back but Rip didn't let up. He punched Brian in the face again. Brian fell down and Rip hovered over him, his fist balled up and ready for another punch.

"You ever come near Y/N or Rielly again. I will kill you where you stand. Do you understand, boy"? Rip stood over Brian as Brian whimpered and groan holding his nose.

"Do you"? Rip growled.

Brian nodded.

"Now get the fuck out of here".

Brian hauled ass back to his car. Picking himself up and jumping into his car. He sped away.

"Are you okay"? Rip took your face in his hands gently looking you over.

"I'm fine".

"Fucking asshole". Rip spat on the ground.

"I can't believe you just did that. I'm going to lose Rielly now". You whispered to yourself. Rip turned his head quickly.

"No you're not. I promised you I wont let that happen and I'm keeping to that". Rip took your hand in his.

"I'm just scared. That's all. I've put up with Brian's abuse for years and I dont want that happening to Rielly. That's why I left when she was a baby".

"It's not going to happen. They have to pry her from my cold dead hands before he gets her. And I'm pretty hard to kill". Rip chuckled, making you smile.

"Thank you. For everything. You saved us". You wrapped Rips arm around your waist as you still held his hand and tip toed up and kissed his lips. "I love you".

"I love you too. Now let's get some ice on that cheek and go get something to eat. I've worked up a appetite". Rip and you took off down to his place.

You knew this wasnt going to be the last time you see Brian about custody. But Rip, had something up his sleeve if it ever did occur.

[xxdragonwriterxx]

🔥Where Is Your Rider?🔥

A/N: HEY EVERYONE!!! So, I just wanted to thank you guys for the massive amount of support you guys have given me recently, I just managed to reach a pretty significant follower count!!! I don’t want to specify the number because I don’t want to make this into a competition, but I’m so happy and grateful for all of you guys and the love and support you have shown me! As promised, I plan to celebrate with a face reveal! I’ll specify when I’m going to do it (as I don’t know when I won’t be busy, lol) but it will happen soon! For now, enjoy this super angsty short one-shot I have written for you guys! This was supposed to be a really short drabble but because I have no self control whatsoever, this ended up being nearly 3,000 words instead of the 500 I planned for it. Also, this was inspired by the two songs, “Where is Your Rider?” and “Pale White Horse” by the Oh Hellos! I hope you enjoy, and again, thank you guys so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

🐉 Song Recommendation: “Pale White Horse” By: The Oh Hellos 🐉

Word Count: ~2.8k

~~~

Levi braced his hands on his knees, panting so hard his throat burned with dry fire. That had been close. Too close. To say that the expedition had been a nightmare would’ve been an understatement. It had been an absolute disaster. What was supposed to be a simple mission to retrieve some supplies from an abandoned battle station outside the walls had turned into chaos quicker than anyone could’ve ever anticipated as abnormals had surrounded them on all sides. Levi had tried his best to protect as many of his soldiers as he could, but even Humanity’s Strongest Soldier had been overwhelmed by the vast number of titans. Erwin had called for the retreat only minutes into the expedition, and yet they had still lost more men on this mission alone than they had during the past six months.

Levi closed his eyes, willing the tears back against the images of his fallen comrades, their broken bodies and screams of his name as they were devoured right in front of him. He had to stay strong, just for a little while longer. As soon as he got back within the walls and was able to retreat to his office, he would be allowed to break, to let loose the torrent of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. But for now, he had to be the pillar of strength that his remaining soldiers could look up to for hope and reassurance.

He sighed deeply, forcing down the bile that rose in the back of his throat, and raised his head, his eyes still closed as he prepared what he was going to say to his squad. When he finally felt ready enough to face them, he turned with his head held up high to the pitiful number of soldiers left on the field. He opened his mouth to talk when all of a sudden, he noticed something.

Her squad wasn’t back yet.

Levi’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, his mouth hung open as the words of his quickly prepared speech were immediately thrown out the window, his mind clouded with worry.

“Where’s Captain (Y/N)? And her squad?” Levi asked, prompting the men around him to stop what they were doing and look to their raven-haired superior. It was obvious that Captain (Y/N) and Captain Levi were together, that much was apparent from Levi’s subtle favoritism and soothed demeanor when she was around, but their relationship was often overlooked due to the professional manner in which they regarded each other when working during the day. Nobody was privy to what occurred behind closed doors - the clingy, loving nature that Levi adopted around (Y/N) when they were alone.

Levi felt a cold tremor trickle down his spine when nobody answered, some of their faces paling as they suddenly remembered their Captain’s relationship, panic laced in their eyes when they realized that nobody could answer Levi’s question. “Did anybody see where they went? Or could make a guess on which direction they could’ve gone?”

Levi tried to keep his voice steady when silence once again answered him, only the soft murmuring of the cadets asking each other for information filling the space. His breathing quickened and shallowed, making him feel light-headed, but he shook the feeling away. He needed to stay focused if he was going to find her. She was going to be alright, she had to be. He wouldn’t accept any other option.

“Alright then, everybody stay here. Commander Erwin should be arriving with the rest of you in a moment. When he gets here, someone tell him that I’ve gone to look for them.”

He whirled on his heel when he was met with murmurs of acceptance, aiming for his horse until a quick flash of movement caught the corner of his eye. He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized it was the movement of a horse racing for them, its hooves striking the ground with every beat as it galloped for them in a panic. Cold dread washed over Levi as the horse got closer, immediately recognizing the silvery white coat of (Y/N)’s stunning mare.

Levi was frozen in fear for the first time in his life as the horse came barreling towards him; riderless. He managed to snap out of it and quickly moved to intercept the horse, using his hands to jolt the frantic horse to a stop. Levi cooed at the mare, murmuring soft words of comfort as he approached her as slowly and non-threateningly as possible. When she had finally calmed down enough for him to touch her, Levi carefully curled his fingers around her reins and stood back to get a good look at the animal.

Her nostrils were flaring with every harsh breath she took, panting with both fear and exertion. Her eyes were wide enough to flash the whites around her irises at him, her gaze darting all around them as if expecting something to jump out at her. Levi felt his stomach clench hard enough to rip a whimper from him when he saw that her once gleaming silver coat was now soaked in sweat, mud, and fresh blood. Levi took a shuddering breath, his eyes closing.

“Danika, where is your rider?”

The mare’s only response was to jerk her head in panic, her ears pinned as she tried to rip herself from his iron grip. Levi bared his teeth, a few stray tears sliding down his cheeks. “WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR RIDER!?”

He knew shouting would only make things worse, but he couldn’t help himself, his fury and paralyzing fear driving him to the edge of insanity. Where was she? She had to be here, he wouldn’t accept this, couldn’t accept this. She was alive and well and perfectly fine, her horse was just acting crazy. It had to be some kind of trick, some kind of illusion meant as a punishment for the lives of the men he had lost.

He rubbed his eyes but to his horror, the image of blood soaking Danika’s fur didn’t disappear. He wanted to believe that it was Danika’s blood, that the poor animal had just been clawed up in battle, but he knew it wasn’t hers. She had no external wounds to speak of and the blood was pooled on top of her saddle and splashed along her flank rather than gouged from her flesh.

More tears started to stream down his face, the air in his throat hitching with every shaky breath he took. It wasn’t possible. No. She was alive. (Y/N) was alive. The love of his life was alive. Levi hung his head, his hair falling to curtain his expression as he choked on another sob. “Danika, please. Please. Where is your rider? Where is (Y/N)? She was with you, right? She has to be around here somewhere…”

He knew he must look deranged, talking to a horse and muttering to himself, but he didn’t care. All he cared about, in that moment, was finding out where the fuck his lover was. Another sob ripped through his body, his eyes squeezing shut even harder as more tears fell from behind his lids. He didn’t want to accept it, he couldn’t accept it, so why was his heart shattering as if he already had?

The sudden touch of a warm muzzle brushing against his face made him flinch and look up, only to be met with the sight of (Y/N)’s silver mare, watching him with a deeply sorrowful expression that mirrored his own, as if she too was grieving the loss of her rider. Levi wanted to scream, wanted to chase the mare into the woods, wanted to slash titans until his body gave out, but he knew he couldn’t do any of those things. It wasn’t the horse’s fault, no matter how much he wanted someone to blame.

“Please,” he whispered, his fingers coming up to curl against Danika’s soft muzzle. “Please tell me she’s alive. Tell me she made it back with you, you just got scared and left her behind. Tell me that she’s going to be okay. I-I can’t live without her, please.”

He was begging now but he didn’t notice. He just wanted some damn reassurance, some comfort, some support - all of the things that (Y/N) usually provided for him when he felt helpless. But (Y/N) wasn’t with him and he was floundering. His eyes were glossy with tears as he looked deep into the mare’s eyes, begging with both his voice and his gaze for the horse to give him something, anything to work with.

“Levi,” the deep voice right beside him made him jump, too lost in his hysteria to notice that Erwin had slipped up next to him, his face dark and grim. Levi’s eyes were frantic as they searched Erwin’s gaze. He knew the Commander had seen (Y/N) last, her squad had been flanking his during their initial departure. Erwin swallowed. Hard.

“Levi, I’m so sorry but…” The Commander dug around in his pocket until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a small piece of fabric with (Y/N)’s name written on the back. It was (Y/N)’s wings of freedom patch. Levi carefully took the patch in both of his palms, tears flooding his cheeks as his whole body started to shake.

“S-She saved her squad, Levi. They were being chased by a hoard of abnormal titans and she darted off to act as bait. Her p-plan was solid, but there were just too many of them and they overpowered her,” Erwin said, his jaw clenching when he stuttered a few times, fighting back his own tears. He lifted a hand and rested it gently on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing once. “Levi, s-she’s gone.”

Levi immediately shook his head violently in response, refusing to believe it. She wasn’t dead, she couldn’t be. She had promised him that she would stay alive, that she would never leave him alone, especially after all he had lost. She promised. Erwin walked forward, hands outstretched to keep Levi from doing something rash, but he wasn’t fast enough as the raven crashed to the ground, collapsing under the weight of his grief.

A loud, miserable howl tore from his throat and filled the valley, making the soldiers around him flinch as they silently mourned, a few of them even beginning to shed tears as they watched their normally stoic, steadfast Captain break for the first time since they’d met him. Levi ignored everyone as he sobbed out for the world to hear, his head buried in his hands and his body shaking violently with the force of his sorrow.

He didn’t want to accept it, didn’t want to acknowledge what everyone was telling him was fact. He didn’t want to think about anything but getting her back in his arms as soon as possible. It was all he wanted, to feel her warmth pressed lovingly against him, to hear her murmur gentle words filled with more love than he’d ever expected to receive in his life, to see her eyes light up brightly whenever she saw him. Without her, he was nothing. He knew that if he accepted this, that he would be accepting the loss of his very soul. It was too much for him to handle, he had finally been broken.

The pain was unbearable, he couldn’t take it anymore. Without (Y/N) by his side, he had no will to live. Fuck fighting the titans, fuck finding a new, better world, fuck being Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. Fuck everything. None of it was worth it if (Y/N) wasn’t wrapped safely in his arms.

“Levi…”

He heard Erwin coo at him, his hand outstretched to guide Levi to his feet, but the raven quickly ripped his arm from the Commander’s grasp, his eyes filled with an icy fire that would make Death itself shiver.

“Lead the retreat, take my men back to the walls.”

“Levi, what are you-?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Levi snapped aggressively as he tore his cape from his back and draped it over Danika’s blood soaked saddle.

“Levi, (Y/N)’s dead. You need to come back with us, if you don’t, you won’t make it.”

“That’s the point,” Levi said as he pulled himself into the saddle, once again avoiding Erwin’s attempt to grasp him.

The blonde’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, his jaw dropping at his Captain’s words. “If you think for one fucking second that I am going to let you kill yourself over some girl-”

“Don’t you dare speak about (Y/N) that way,” Levi said, his voice a deadly calm. “She is not just ‘some girl’. She’s the love and light of my life and I’m not leaving without her. I’m going to bring her back, no matter what it takes.”

Erwin opened his mouth to argue, but wasn’t even able to get the first word out before Levi had kicked Danika into a gallop, aiming right for the forest she had come from just minutes earlier. Nobody could do anything but watch as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier tore off into the woods, dread settling in their stomachs at the thought of having to fight without his support. Because they all knew, even if Levi made it, he would never be the same. Unless (Y/N) was somehow magically still alive, Levi would never be the same man he once was. His responsibilities and future didn’t matter to him anymore, not if they didn’t include his love.

Erwin sighed and shouted for his men to retreat, knowing that sending more men to retrieve Levi would only end in more casualties, by both titans and Levi himself. All he could do was trust that his friend could hold his own and would make it back. The soldiers of the remaining squads did as he asked without hesitation but the air was thick with tension as they galloped back to the walls, unsure of how to process the loss of their two strongest Captains.

[brittanyslibrary]

Small Victories ➤ Levi Ackerman

Summary: The special training course you opted into was fast paced, exhausting, and downright brutal. Even so, you were determined to become a sorely needed field medic for the Survey Corps, knowing it would most likely lead to your demise.

You couldn’t lie, a part of you also just wanted to prove to Captain Levi that you were far more than just Titan bait…

You knew, going into this, you’d be on the front lines. Commander Erwin had informed you the day he went over your file that you would be stationed close to the Special Ops squad; where you were needed most.

You knew that, and yet, as you watched a soldier’s flailing legs disappear into the 10 meter’s mouth, heard his deafening screams piercing the humid air, smelled the irony scent of blood, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d been in over your head.

Perhaps Captain Levi had been right about you.

“All you medic types are the same,” he’d told you the first time he’d ever met you. “Self sacrificial, stubborn, and fucking stupid”

It was then that you decided you would prove him wrong.

You leaned over a fallen comrade, clinging to life despite the gaping chunk taken out of his thigh. He couldn’t have been older than seventeen, openly weeping for his mother as his body trembled.

I can’t leave him, I can’t leave him, I can’t leave him.

The rumbling of titan footsteps shook the ground beneath you, but you knew you’d lose your nerve if you turned to look at them ambling towards you. So, you opted to keep your face set as your hands worked on instinct.

His eyes were wide and pleading as he searched your immediate surroundings for any sign of the Special Ops Squad. You’d been separated from them when you saw the kid, amidst all the chaos, nearly lose his entire leg to a four meter titan.

You were grateful they’d taught you how to slay the ugly bastards, but you could hardly perform your medical duties while killing the titans that were heading straight for you.

And if you didn’t stop the bleeding soon….

“You’re alright, you’re gonna be fine,” your assurances left your lips like a mantra while you wound thick, cotton bandages over his thigh.

“They’re coming…they’re coming straight for us,” he wailed.

“Let them come, but I’ll be damned if you’re gonna give up when we’ve still got a fighting chance” you snapped, tying the bandage as tight as you could. “You’re gonna have to lean on me and use your other leg. I can’t carry you to the cart like this” you informed him.

By now, both of your clothes were soaked in his blood. As he hobbled to the abandoned cart, where your horse was waiting to pull it, you could practically feel the titans on top of you.

You could picture their smiling faces, eager to devour you.

The boy, who’s name you learned to be Asmund, scooted as far back onto the cart as he could with his busted leg. Hope bloomed in your chest as you tossed your supply bag beside him.

You were going to make it.

He was screaming again, but not for the sorry state of his leg. He was screaming your name, urging you to hurry because there was a titan directly behind you and if you didn’t get your ass onto the horse it was going to-

You felt its fingers wind themselves around your shoulders, upper arms and torso. It squeezed you in its palm, causing your eyes to bulge and silencing the scream that sat poised on your tongue.

You were done for, you knew that much. All that was left to do was close your eyes and think of him, the man who would, no doubt, blame himself for the loss of your life.

The first time you’d offered to help the Captain with his paperwork, he’d scoffed at the notion and told you to leave him alone.

You brought tea the next time, and he finally allowed you the allotted space in his office, giving you your own personal stack of papers to date and check.

“Your lack of sleep is going to catch up with you, Captain” you’d told him as you dipped your pen in the ink well. “You’re pushing your body too far when you only allow it a few hours’ rest. I’m surprised you’ve made it this long without fainting, truthfully”

You worried for him the way a spouse would worry after their partner, but you never wanted to admit that to yourself.

“Yeah? So what?” he paused his furious pen strokes to level you with a glare.

“You should take better care of yourself,” you murmured gently.

“You should mind your own damn business” was his curt reply.

You weren’t certain if it was the reflection of the candle flame or the shadows on his face playing tricks, but you could have sworn you saw a blush rise to his cheeks.

“Nice work!” Petra commended you with a slap on the back and a grin on her face. Out of Levi’s Squad, she was by far the most welcoming.

“Yeah, you almost beat my time. Too bad I’m far more skilled than anyone here” Oluo smirked from his seat against a tree trunk.

You’d done well for yourself in training, only having two years to complete your cadet training rather than the usual four granted to everyone else. You were much older than them, as well, and stuck out like a sore thumb. So, admiring your handy work in the form of slain titan dummies, you were rather proud.

“You used too much gas,” Levi drawled, coming up to kick at one of your near empty canisters.

His eyes were narrowed as he glared at you, waiting for a proper response.

“I’m sorry Captain, I..I guess I hadn’t realized how much I’d been using” you winced as his glare sharpened.

“You didn’t realize, huh,” he circled you like a predator, eyeing your taut form as he did so. “Perhaps you’ll realize it when you’re halfway down a disgusting titan’s gullet. Perhaps you’ll realize when you’re stranded in the middle of an open plain and crushed under one of their feet”

He stopped, suddenly, directly in front of you. He was so close you could make out the dark circles under his eyes and the lines at his brow.

“A stupid mistake, I can always count on that from you” he spoke your name as if it were an insult. All the while, his face showed no sign of anything but irritation.

You hated that you cared so much about what he thought of you.

“I’ll do better next time” you whispered, voice hoarse.

“Outside the walls, there won’t be a next time!” his volume had grown steadily, as he was all but shouting now. “You get careless and then you’re dead. You get yourself killed out there, and we lose you, and then that’s another fucking life…wasted”

The others had enough sense to ditch this situation when it first began, which had left you and Levi by yourselves between the trees.

He quickly turned away, crossing the grounds swiftly enough that you barely had time to analyze what the hell he’d just come out with.

The Captain cared about all his soldiers, you assured yourself to quell the pounding in your chest.

It probably meant nothing.

You heard your name again, this time from a completely different direction.

.. The titan’s jaws were just below you as you dangled from its grasp. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t even think of anything besides the smell of the gaping mouth you were about to be shoved into.

And Levi, your Captain, a man who was so gentle if you could just break through the tough outer shell he hid behind.

He was calling out to you, desperation you’d never heard from him before apparent in his shouts.

You caught a glimpse of him, swords drawn and determination set in his grey eyes. He was fast, but you knew he wouldn’t be fast enough.

You accepted this as the hot tears fell slowly down your cheeks.

.. “I enjoy your company, Captain Levi” you confessed to him from your seat at the other side of his desk. The paperwork lay abandoned in front of you, as you had far better things to look at than the ink on those pages.

Levi coughed and nearly dropped his pen at your sudden proclamation. His eyes had grown wider than usual, and he outright refused to look at you, acknowledge what you’d said.

“You don’t have to say anything, I understand” you spoke slowly, solemnly. “It’s just..you aren’t like anyone I’ve met before. You try so hard to shut people out with your harsh words and constant glaring, but you care far more than you let on. I think, I think you’re the first person in this damn regiment that actually gave a shit about me”

You noticed his knuckles had turned white with the force that he was gripping his pen.

The expedition was tomorrow; you might never get a chance to tell him this.

“Maybe in another life, maybe if we had more time, maybe….we could have loved each other” you pushed the seat out from under you, standing straight as a pin.

Once the words had left your lips to hang tensely in the air between you two, you were unable to gather enough nerve to look at him.

“I just wanted you to know that, in case something happens to me when we-“

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you” he rasped, head bowed over the page, pen still gripped in his hand.

“How can you be so sure?” you smiled sadly.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you, because I….because I won’t let it”

The conviction laced in his words left no room for you to doubt him.

You’d done your duty, left with no regret about stopping to help that young cadet that had an entire life ahead of him.

But you did regret leaving behind the Captain, leaving him with your awkward confession and never, ever getting to find out what his lips tasted like.

As you fell into the titan’s mouth, you thought Levi probably tasted like the tea he drank.

Everything ached and burned when you came to. Your eyes blinked heavily at a dark ceiling, your lips parting slightly as the warmth from the sunlight streaming in soaked into your cold skin.

You must have been back home, back inside the walls. The thin, white sheets and itchy cot you were laying on was enough to know that. How could you have possibly made it back?

The titan ate you, didn’t it?

“I told you,” you jumped at the figure beside you, groaning as your body protested the sudden movement.

You turned your head slowly, shocked and incredibly relieved to see none other than the Captain himself sitting on a wooden chair beside your bed.

His body was hunched forward, arms folded over his knees and shoulders pulled forward. His eyes immediately softened when you smiled at him, and he let out a ragged breath.

“How?” was all you could manage to choke out. The familiar stirring in your chest had become an erratic rhythm of pounding and fluttering.

“I almost didn’t make it in time,” his gaze fell to his lap. “You were in its mouth by the time I made it to you. If I’d sliced its jaw open a moment later, you would have been down its throat” he squeezed his eyes shut, as if the memory was replaying before him.

You sucked in a breath, wondering just how far he’d gone to ensure your safety.

“You saved me….when anyone else would have thought it to be a lost cause. You didn’t give up on me..” you trailed off as your vision began to blur with unshed tears.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Just when you thought he’d take his leave, he spoke again.

“I don’t know what love feels like, but I know that I don’t want to fucking lose you”

All that brutal training, all those insults when you’d made careless mistakes, all those nights spent filling out paperwork at the same desk, they all finally had meaning.

How could you not have read the signs before? How could you have not noticed the subtle way he cared for you?

You reached a shaky hand forward, grasping his calloused one in a gentle caress.

“You don’t have to,” the promise in your eyes when he finally spared you a glance grounded him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he stuttered, a fierce blush over his pale face. “I’ve never been good at this bullshit” he muttered.

“We can learn together..if you’d like to move forward with this” you bit at your lower lip, face hot and heart lodged in your throat.

Levi’s lips curved up into the tiniest smile you’d ever seen, but it was a smile nonetheless. A small victory.

“Fine, just…don’t tell Hange. They placed a bet with Erwin, and I don’t wanna give them the satisfaction of winning….”

** did tumblr always have this stupid word block limit bc that's whack. I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible without being vague, hope y'all enjoyed !! **

[birdship]

alright so this is by far the absolute dumbest thing i've ever written in my life, and trust me that is saying something, but like......... here i guess.

behold, the dumbest and most pointless Disco Elysium fanfic vignette ever written.

content warning: it's dick jokes all the way down.

teaser:

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: This is a nice, brand new copy of one of Dick Mullen’s recent adventures. The pages are crisp, fresh, intact. And inscribed upon them, the tumultuous tale of the time Dick Mullen seduced a beautiful dame, then solved the shockingly grisly murder mystery with which said dame became entangled. But in a different way than the other ones. It’s got a new, sexier dame and a new, more shocking murder. They really broke out the *good* horse glue for this one, that’s for sure.

It’s a cold, damp afternoon, but the Whirling-in-Rags is proving to be a warm and dry enough place to take some time to do a little reading. The lieutenant is seated across the table from you, buried in his case notes as you catch up on the Dick Mullen novel you just bought.

ESPRIT DE CORPS: He is not paying any attention to you, but if he were, he would not approve of your time management decisions.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: This is a nice, brand new copy of one of Dick Mullen’s recent adventures. The pages are crisp, fresh, intact. And inscribed upon them, the tumultuous tale of the time Dick Mullen seduced a beautiful dame, then solved the shockingly grisly murder mystery with which said dame became entangled. But in a different way than the other ones. It’s got a new, sexier dame and a new, more shocking murder. They really broke out the *good* horse glue for this one, that’s for sure.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: Dick Mullen must investigate the mysterious disappearance of a reclusive misfortunatologist, who had vanished from his workshop one stormy night without a trace. The only clues Dick has to work with are a dead pig and a couple pieces of jewelry, which eventually lead him to the strange but beautiful heiress who was the last person to see him alive. There are also some other suspects, like the wealthy owner of a hotel next door to the workshop, and a street performer with a grudge. Which one of them is the culprit? Or perhaps the misfortunate misfortunatologist was simply the victim of his own research…

PERCEPTION: Lieutenant Kitsuragi sighs and crosses out whatever he’s just written. Then the cafeteria is quiet for a while as the two of you work and fuck around respectively, each absorbed in your separate tasks.

DICK MULLEN AND THE CASE OF THE MISFORTUNATOLOGIST: Here comes the first big twist! Turns out the misfortunatologist was alive all along. But the day after he returns, Dick finds him lying dead in a pool of blood. Suspicion is immediately cast on the street performer who had been making seemingly empty threats for years, but where is the murder weapon?

“The murder weapon could be anywhere,” you remark under your breath.

“Yes, I agree,” Kim says disinterestedly, half-listening.

“If the killer is a skilled enough mime,” you exclaim, then trail off in horror.

“I’m sorry?” Kim looks up from his notes.

“Kim, it’s a deadly mistake to underestimate a mime. Especially when it comes to murder.” You narrow your eyes. “My God, it’s the perfect crime. Dick is fucked, I don’t know how he’s going to solve this one. He’ll never find the murder weapon.”

“Yes, well, I wouldn’t worry too much,” the lieutenant says seriously. “Dick has certainly been in tight spots like this before, wouldn’t you say?” His face is expressionless as he looks back down at his work.

SUGGESTION: Oh, is that the game he wants to play? RHETORIC: He has *no* idea what he’s up against.

“You’re right, Dick will slip right out of this situation,” you agree, nodding.

“Exactly,” Kim says without even looking up from his notes. “You can’t keep Dick down.”

You nod some more, trying to buy time to think of more dick jokes.

EMPATHY: His expression is still unreadable, but he seems to be waiting for your next volley. His nose is buried in his notebook, but the scratching of the pen has stopped completely.

“He just keeps pounding until he reaches the climax of the case,” you retort.

“Dick always stands up for justice,” Kim immediately adds.

RHETORIC: Fuck. He’s really a professional at this. LOGIC: Wait, let’s think this through. Go over all the options, really analyze the components necessary for-- HALF-LIGHT: No, it’s too late for that. It’s a war of attrition now. You have to just keep saying things as quickly as possible to win it.

“That Dick has a huge case load,” you ramble desperately. Kim raises an eyebrow and, for the first time since this began, ever so slightly smirks.

ESPRIT DE CORPS: There, he thinks, you’re out of ideas. A lesser man might consider this a win already, but Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi never backs down. He has the opportunity to absolutely destroy you, and he is going to take it.

Kim takes a slow, deliberate breath and gently places his pen on the table. Then he looks you right in the eye as he delivers the coup de grace.

“You can’t crush Dick,” he says, gazing at you over his steepled fingers. “No matter how hard you stomp on him, he always gets back up. He'll just keep coming and coming, no matter what.”

RHETORIC: Wow. CONCEPTUALIZATION: That’s... ELECTROCHEMISTRY: *Huh.*

“Uh,” you stammer, then trail off awkwardly. You’ve got nothing.

“You were a worthy opponent, detective,” he says smugly as he goes back to his paperwork. “And that’s why I’m proud to say I was able to beat you off.”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT: And that’s a K.O., ladies and gentlemen.

Nearby, Garte makes a horrible choking noise and splutters, “Oh for fuck’s sake!”