#but no idea if I’ll ever finish

[woobiedoovo]

Stan was always the more romantic of the two twins. When he was a kid, he would dream about getting married. Whenever Stan talked the idea, Ford would simply scrunch his nose and furrow his brow, claiming that love wasn’t something he really cared about. With an embarrassed laugh, Stan would push the idea of him marrying a boy that looked like him to the back of his mind, away from prying eyes and questioning thoughts.

As he got older, he would swipe his Ma’s romance novels and read them under the covers, making up scenarios in his mind where he would swoop in and save the damsel in distress. Sometimes, when he’d finally put down the poorly written book for the night, he’d even let himself imagine him in place of the damsel, being saved by a man with one too many fingers.

After he got kicked out, romance wasn’t his first priority. Or his second, or third. He got married once or twice, and both ended horribly. And even if they didn’t, he doubt they would have lasted long. Not when he’d imagine curly brown hair and sharp, hazel eyes instead of his partner.

When Ford called him to his cabin, he couldn’t help but think the shack was exactly what Stan would love in a home. A home for lazy Saturday mornings, where all you want to do is curl up in the arms of the person you love and stay there until the sun goes down. And then the portal happened, and Stan spent the night cold and alone just like he had for the past ten years.

[fallen-flier]

the moon will sing (time traveling tim)

so. i saw this super awesome post by @puppetwoman17 about time traveling tim drake and got obsessed, so here's a small ficlet i wrote about it!

part 2

The thing is, Tim expects it. He’s faintly aware of the blood seeping from his stomach, staining his hands red— hands which are uselessly putting pressure on his wound. If he survives this, he doesn’t even want to think of all the weeks of pure agony and fever, brought on by the wonderful lack of his spleen and the fact that healing from wounds sucked, period.

Death isn’t surprising— he really didn’t think he would live past, what, twenty-five? Thirty? To live until beyond 50 with his lifestyle was, well. It sounded painful, anyways. And you would need to be a deeply paranoid neurotic. Like Bruce. Because as much as he respected his father and looked up to him, if Tim turned out anything like Batman, he’d probably find a bullet through his brain sooner or later.

Half because Tim was reckless and his plans were so convoluted and insane that nobody really knew what was going on either, just to confuse his opponent. The other half was, well. You can guess.

So. He’s bleeding out, the night is uncomfortably cold and the wind bites into his skin, sand grating against his back, and all Tim can think about is how much he hopes Ra’s al-Ghul doesn’t show up like a damned wraith and drag him kicking and screaming to the nearest surgery table and take out his kidneys or something. 

Tim’s also thinking about his family. And the probable inconveniences that come with his death. Like arranging his funeral and all his assets and his Nest and the fact that Tim is a very integral part of the family and Dick will probably fall apart and Bruce will mourn and brood, and, and damn it. Tim should probably revoke his thinking process or something.

—

Tim is twenty three years old when he bleeds to death alone, and nobody finds his body until three weeks later when his family has scoured the Earth and his distress signal rings, rings, but nobody sees it. His predictions about his family come true.

But that isn’t quite relevant, because Tim isn’t aware of such a thing. 

Instead, Tim closes his eyes and falls and jerks up on his bed, clutching his chest as years of memories flood his brain, too much for a mere eleven year old. It feels like his head has been cracked open and molten lava had been poured through, scorching his veins and circulation. It feels like agony of the highest level and Tim is faintly aware of the darkness creeping in, his mind too overwhelmed and overstimulated from years of memories flooding into his brain.

And so for the second time in a few minutes and a lifetime, Tim welcomes unconsciousness with open arms.

The next few hours are spent in pure agony, his body being too weak to move and his limbs too short for him to coordinate. He’s pretty sure that there’s a pool of dried blood underneath him from a nosebleed, but he’s too tired to turn around, so he just uncomfortably shifts away from it. Not for the first time, he thanks his lucky stars that his parents are neglectful, because he doesn’t even know how he would explain all of this. 

Two days later, he musters the strength to stumble out of bed, gulp down the bitter, carbon dioxide-filled water next to him and get to the kitchen. It’s April 1st, twelve years ago, Tim is eleven years old, and his family doesn’t know him yet.

Half of the terrible things that have happened to Dick haven’t happened yet. Jason hasn’t died yet. Duke is still a kid and his parents are healthy. Babs hasn’t been put into a wheelchair by the Joker.

Steph is still living with her father. Damian and Cass are being trained as assassins.

Mrs. Mac is due to come in a few hours. Tim looks at the blood-crusted covers of his bed and his crumpled clothes. 

Oh, shoot. 

So instead of researching or training, Tim spends the next hour trying to get the bedsheets off with his tiny, noodle arms, half stumbling on his feet because he’s way too damn short, and making his way to the bathroom so he can take a shower and get some of the blood off so it doesn’t stain too badly. 

It’s probably a lost cause. Not that his parents will notice or care about a missing bedsheet, but it feels wasteful to just throw it away to hide evidence of his unintentional time travel.

Two and a half hours later, Tim stumbles out of the laundry room, his bedsheets and pillow finally in the washer. He collapses on the nearest chair and scans the room for his father’s computer. 

He lets out a shaky breath. His family is generally unscarred. Jason is Robin again. Jason. The boy who Tim had held with a certain degree of, well, disdain. Thinking about it kind of makes him want to punch is past self in the face, or cringe in the way that you can only do when you think of something embarrassing you used to do. Like victim-blaming your older brother for getting beat to death while trying to find his mother. 

It wasn’t the only way he looked at Jason, but he had always thought of him as too reckless. Maybe he really did deserve the beating. Well, not that he believed that young teenagers should be beat up by young adults in Robin cosplay, but at least Tim wasn’t exactly traumatized by the experience. Better him than some other poor civilian kid Bruce could’ve adopted.

And Tim did get his revenge. By getting Jason on his private parts. But whatever. Revenge was revenge, and Tim was better than the whole crime lord setup his older brother had. In practice, anyways. 

Chewing on the ballpoint pen, he writes down the first thing on his list (in code, of course) since coming back in time.

prevent jason’s death 

Well. Now that he had a comprehensive list, Tim was down and ready to plan. 

—

A hour later, Mrs. Mac appears, none the wiser to what happened to him. Tim greets her as she walks in, and she smiles and greets him back, putting lunch in the fridge. She notices nothing wrong about how he stays sitting on the chair in the living room, and Tim says nothing about it. When she leaves, he pulls the piece of paper out of his book and the pen from his hair, scratching down some extra points.

Hmm. Maybe the Court of Owls should go early. Or perhaps that would create too much change?

Dick would have a better time in the future if they were gone, though. Tim frowns, dragging his pen back and forth in a short line on the table. 

He still needed to factor in the fact that he was an unknown to the family. The thing is, Tim loves their dysfunctional, broken family and he knows Bruce and Dick loved him back. But to be honest, it would be easier to change events if he wasn’t being scrutinized by Bruce every day. And it wasn’t like Tim had any shortage of money, with his parents still alive and his family fortune enough to cover whole lifetimes, so he wasn’t worried about his own safety.

It would be nice to go to college too. Maybe Stanford. He was smart enough to make it, and the location was close to the vigiliante community that if he so wanted to, he could probably join and watch his family from the outskirts. Last time around, Tim just couldn’t leave Gotham. Being a vigiliante was his life— he couldn’t even justify it as a temporary thing anymore. Their family had gone through so much tragedy and Gotham was still filled with crime and Tim had an obligation to keep her safe. It just… he couldn’t escape his mantle because he loved it, and Tim had a difficult time letting things go once he loved them. 

But if Tim could change things from the start, he didn’t need to be pulled back into the life. (He couldn’t have it, even if he loved it, because it was never his in the first place.) He could start anew, be a vigiliante when he was in college and far away from the family he hopefully would’ve fixed by then.

Well then. First things first, he needed to remove a factor from Jason’s death so he wouldn’t die in the first place.

—

Mrs. Mac comes by and cooks him lunch, and they eat in silence. Typically, Tim would fill the silence with chattering, glad to have someone to talk to in the empty manor.  But Tim’s mind is whirring, drawing up and discarding plans. By the time Mrs. Mac stands up and tells him she’s going to leave now, Tim has thought of three contingencies and twelve more future events he needs to address.

He mhms when Mrs. Mac prompts him to, and eventually she leaves out the front door, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It’s spring break and Tim doesn’t actually have anything to do because he’s in middle school now, so he mulls over the Jason problem for a few more hours.

It comes to him when he’s microwaving the leftovers from lunch, and Tim is pretty sure he’s a genius, or something. Sheila Haywood worked at a refugee camp in Ethiopia handling medical supplies, but she was embezzling funds from the organization she was working for. It wouldn’t be difficult for Tim to trace it and report her. By the time Jason began tracking her down, she would most likely be in prison, just for a few years and everything would hopefully blow over and the Joker wouldn’t blackmail her because she had no use to him in prison. 

It was cold, perhaps. But her life wouldn’t be over with a few years in prison, and Jason would be alive. Nothing more than they deserved.

Jason, alive. Then Damian, Cass, and Steph. He would see to his family, whole and happy. Then perhaps, in the future, when he was older and safely out of Bruce’s adoption zone, Tim could perhaps work with them. Laugh about how he never expected the Wayne family to be vigilantes, just to throw them off his trail. 

Tim allows himself this one selfish thought, because he has nothing else but the shattered remains of a future that will never come to be, and a family he left behind but still exists.

a/n:

i wrote this in two hours under an inspired haze of time travel and tim, two of my favorite things

tim is a super unreliable narrator if you haven't already noticed lmao

also if i get any characterization wrong feel free to leave some discourse or ping me on the head

but like please be gentle cause y'know constructive crit, not bashing

thanks for reading! :D

[mrghostrat]

posting this before i even open my inbox: no i’m not abandoning ATWS!!! it’s coming!! just gimme a minute

[ifyoucandaniel]

hey guys, it’s ya boy, queen of never finishing anything because i hate my art and spent too much time on the sketch and ran out of motivation 😎

[erroryeswifi]

Okay fuck it

TAWOG Emotion Challenge!

Send me any Tawog character you’d like to see with whichever emotion!

Preferably put the requests in the replies of this post that way I can have them all in one place thank youu! <3

Also, I’m gonna do one character per emotion so choose wisely cuz once that character is drawn that’s it for them!

[electric-plants]

i think cyno and alhaitham would keep their relationship secret for a while solely as an experiment/to challenge themselves to see how long they could last before the rumor mill sussed them out

[mariejordans]

limoreau au ideas that i crave

1. ballet au—i’m thinking something like marie as the new ballerina in a ballet company and jordan as one of the veteran principal dancers who always gets cast for supporting roles, but never main bc management/casting is never quite sure how to cast them bc of their gender identity (bc management and casting are cowards basically) even though they’re one of the best dancers in the company (and everyone knows it.) so they’re always put in side roles that are comedic or gender-neutral (such as puck in a midsummer night’s dream or mercutio in romeo and juliet) and they’re like, SO frustrated, bc they want to be THE star, not just a side character. and so the end jordan’s contract is coming to an end soon and they’re very unsure if they’ll get a renewal, while marie is on a one year contract, so it’s also up in the air whether hers will be renewed too.

and then one day jordan and marie are randomly paired together for pas de deux (maybe it’s for a rehearsal or class/warm-up) and everyone is just floored by the instant chemistry and they end up getting cast in a brand new contemporary ballet set to premiere the following season bc the choreographer (i’m thinking maybe victoria?) just happens to also witness them and is inspired so much that they end up largely influencing the choreography and roles end up being specifically made for them.

and management is like, kinda nervous to allow them to be cast bc marie is like this freshly new ballerina who was just hired and is pretty much a rookie in all aspects, and they’re still worried about jordan’s marketability and such, but victoria vouches for them and fights super hard, so basically they can’t fuck it up at all bc it might be their only chance to really prove themselves and get their contract renewal.

and like the company is also putting on this super classic ballet (very much the opposite of the contemporary, which is very intense and sensual and dark) starring their two most popular principal dancers (luke and cate probs) and its very much implied that this new ballet has to perform as well as, if not better, than the classic ballet in order to secure their contract renewals. and so they really have to work together and help each other out so that they can both prove themselves.

also marie and jordan kinda hate each other at first bc like, marie was actually a big fan of jordans pre-getting into the company and were super excited to meet them until she finds out that jordan almost cost her a spot in the company, bc they just so happened to have seen her audition and mentioned to brink (who was on the auditioning panel) that she seemed too inexperienced and “not ready” etc etc (he ended up getting outvoted anyway bc the rest of the panel liked her) and so they basically can’t stand each other, which only makes the chemistry THAT more intense and palpable.

2. camp counselors au—marie and jordan are camp counselors at a vought summer camp for supe children. they both know each other vaguely from god u, specifically from an end of semester party where the two hooked up and had a one night stand. and so they are both totally shocked to see that the other is also working at the summer camp and the tension is still off the charts, but here’s the catch: there’s no fraternization policy between counselors, and if you’re caught hooking up with another counselor, you’re basically sent home.

and so, neither jordan or marie can afford to be sent home, so they really try to be “just friends” at first, but they just can’t stay away from one another, so there’s a LOT of sneaking around, stolen kisses and secret hook-ups. they eventually get caught at some point but like they just get slap on the wrist and sent back to their stations (apparently so many other people have broken the no fraternization rule it happens so often and they can’t fire everyone.)

the entire gang is also there (emma, cate, and marie share a cabin while luke, andre, sam, and jordan share another.) marie is in charge of arts and crafts, while jordan is a lifeguard (lifeguard jordan does things to me omg)

(also this plot is very much inspired by wildfire by hannah grace)

3. royalty au—just, this entire thread. it’s so perfect.

4. gossip girl/rich kids au—marie as a transfer student on scholarship to this very exclusive fancy boarding school. she’s there for one reason, and one reason only: to study, make valedictorian, and get into her dream university, [insert ivy league school here.] she quickly encounters the richest kids in school, a clique made up of luke riordan, andre anderson, cate dunlap, and, of course, jordan li. luke, andre, and cate warm up to marie pretty quickly, but jordan is very cold towards marie for no reason, and she doesn’t know why. but it doesn’t even matter, bc soon she realizes her biggest competition for valedictorian is jordan themself, and the two have their little academic rivals to lovers arc.

also, emma is marie’s boarding school roommate who mostly stays on the outskirts of the social scene (she’s happy to observe) but also always know all the gossip and the drama happening. and if it’s a true gossip girl au, someone like sam ends up being gossip girl lmao.

5. childhood friends au—basically canon but if marie and jordan had been as childhood best friends. like they used to live in the same neighborhood and would often play together as children, their parents were all friends; they were basically inseparable. and then when they started school, they would ride the bus together, they would do homework together. and marie being the first person to know about jordan’s powers and was there when they manifested, and was the first person to fully accept not only just their powers, but their identity as well.

but then marie’s dad gets a job offer in a different city, a different state, and at twelve and fourteen years old, the two are ripped apart for the first time. they promise to email each other everyday, and they do for two years straight until marie stops emailing one day. and jordan keeps trying to contact her, emails her constantly, tries for about a year until they give up. and they’re So angry at marie, bc it’s like they’ve been abandoned yet again. they’re So deeply hurt and betrayed. they tell themselves they don’t need her and they should just forget about her and they almost succeed.

they’ve almost managed to completely forget the best friend they’ve ever had until her application shows up in the crime-fighting applications database thing (or whatever its called idk.) and they’re like, just stunned, because as far as they were aware, marie was not a supe, and she had pretty much ceased to exist outside of distant memories from their childhood. and even then, it’s still as if she doesn’t exist, with her non-existent social media presence, and no experience in crime-fighting whatsoever.

and so they reject her application, bc of her lack of qualifications, because they weren’t prepared for her to exist to them again. they had just gotten used to her absence, and it still hurt them so bad that she had forgotten them so quickly. and even though they would hardly admit it, a part of them was trying to protect her, though from what exactly, they couldn’t say.

meanwhile, marie had been forced to stop emailing once she arrived at red river. and to be honest, even if she could, she doesn’t think she could’ve continued to email jordan like everything was fine. and so she cut off contact completely, even though it hurt her so much.

around the age of 16/17, marie realized she needed a plan to get out of red river. getting adopted was so unlikely, and she couldn’t stomach the thought of elmira. and then she saw jordan’s face on a brochure for a godolkin university and a plan begins to form in her mind. and when she gets the email that she’s been offered a full ride to god u, she finally lets herself hope. not only for future where she’s successful and her sister forgives her, but also that maybe jordan still remembers her and maybe they’ll be able to pick up where they left off all those years ago.

and marie is so disappointed that she let herself hope for that when she finally comes face to face with her old best friend years later and finds that they want nothing to do with her.

[lloyd-007]

Firebound au

I love these kinds of aus so much, like the whole idea that one of the ninja can be lost to there elements is so interesting to me but heartbreaking for everyone around them. Like just imagine one day there here and the next they’re gone well technically they’re still there but not at the same time.

In my au so far it’s more focused on the aftermath, how the ninja handles what happened to there brother and filling what I feel the show missed out after what happened in seabound like we barely got to see how the rest of the ninja handled it like all we had was a time skip to a whole year later when they had mostly accepted what happened ( well not Jay). How would it had been if it was someone else and not Nya? What if it was Kai instead, how would this affect the team? Most importantly Nya and Lloyd? What about Kai and Nyas own parents?? And can’t forget about Skylor , how would this affect the team and overall what about Kai?

In my opinion Nya wouldn’t waste the chance to get kai back like that’s her brother, the one that literally raised her. He’s isn’t  just a brother he’s literally a parent to her and Same with Lloyd. The ninja would probably go down a different state of grief, Lloyd without a doubt would be depression, Nya would be denial, it takes them longer to accept what happened to Kai and Lloyd starts to lose control of his powers a little. They both lash out at people who want to help, but just as Nya starts to accept what happened to her brother something happens to Lloyd ( no spoilers).

And kai is there to help them but he’s mad at them he doesn’t understand why he’s even mad at them, he doesn’t even know them. Lloyd argues back, and something snaps in kai causing him to somewhat come back but he’s still stuck as his element, his minds is half gone half foggy he’s sometimes unsure of what’s happening around him but at least it can’t get any worse.. right.

[hythlodaes]

something good.

[whoblewboobear]

I’m watching season one of Bridgeton and even though Simon and Daphne stress me out to no end, I absolutely am thinking about messy regency era starbreaker where Jace is coveted as the diamond (😉) of the season season by King Aguefort.

None of the potential suitors he’d hoped are coming forward and the marriage market is looking bleaker by the day until his older sister, Zara’s, best friend the Duke of house Cliffbreaker, returns in time for the new season. He and Jace get off to an incredibly rocky start, constantly bickering with each other. But there’s something about Duke Cliffbreaker (“My friends call me Porter.”) that he can’t stop thinking about.

One evening they enter an agreement to court each other so Jace appears desirable to other potential suitors and Porter appears unavailable so he can attend to his own private matters. Yes, none of it is real, but Jace can’t help but enjoy the Duke’s company. It terrifies Porter to think that Jace would ever fall for a scoundrel like him. Zara threatens him not to corrupt her brother’s innocence, but how could he?

Jace could never burn for him, why would he? He could only disappoint him. But he can’t resist kissing him in the gardens, can’t resist the pull of his lips, the way Jace’s body feels so correct curling into his touch.

I also cannot leave out the scene where Simon tells Daphne to touch herself that night so she understands pleasure.

The way Porter whispers the obscenity to a man of nobility like him makes Jace’s face flush and his ears burn. But his curiosity gets the better of him that night as he lay in bed, unable to think of nothing other than the Duke’s instructions. The Duke- Porter’s name falls from his lips as he finishes for the first time, toes curling as breathy whines and whimpers echo throughout his chambers.

When they sleep together for the first time, he can’t help but admit he pleasured himself at the thought of Porter. All Porter has to say is “show me,” for him to be half way gone on their wedding night.

-

Bonus points for the fallout of the garden scene because I’d scream the entire time.

[Zara]: “You will marry him!”

[Porter]: “I cannot.”

[Jace]: “you would rather duel my sister- No, you would rather die than marry me?”

I could cry thinking about Jace with those big sad eyes looking at Porter completely heartbroken and devastated 🤧

[icedhotkopi]

[Abandoned WIP - Unfinished Comic]

Falling

> In which Jackieboyman tries to stop Anti and save Marvin from his control.

(But it doesnt end well, does it?)

Bonus and other explanations under the cut

Bonus : what happens after

< An explanation >

Originally i made Jackie say “i love you” instead of “i forgive you”. Both versions are good but i think jackie knew marvin would feel a lot of guilt for hurting (and later on, killing) him, so he’s saying that in hopes he could at least lessen the guilt and give him some kind of closure (kind of like saying “its okay, i know you didnt mean to do this. Dont blame yourself too much for it okay?”)

< Reason for comic >

This comic was made because i wanted to join in on this trend that was popular on tiktok back in 2021 (yes, this has been in my WIPs for 2 years now 🥹 )

<The prequel>

I’d like to think this comic serves as a prequel to this old piece right here

[chimerahyperfix]

RECIPE OF THE DAY

[OR: This was the most upsetting alternate looper option]

Long post because i have been cooking this in my brain for like, two months, and it's all-consuming. Also I'm not in the Discord yet because Anxiety so my ramblings had to go somewhere, and what better than one big fucking post yknow. I cast spell of fuck you mind blast on the tag/lh /j

TLDR for below: Siffrin words his wish differently, Bonnie gets trapped in a time-loop, and despite saying they're in a timeloop repeatedly nothing works and no one can help them. The normal ISAT absolute horrors ensue.

CONTENT WARNINGS: the normal ISAT tags [death, violence and trauma, suicide, self harm and unreality], Notable Pin on child endangerment and death, poisoning.

most of these get discussed ^ even if shortly

SO. THIS AU.

This is it this is my big one. Ignore me pushing the literal 12 other isat aus I have into a pile pls this is THE big one. I’m looking at the note I’ve stored all this lore in on my notes app,and it’s like. 35 fucking pages?

I've looked at a ton of alternate looper aus [that's part of the hyperfixation babeyyyy I need to consume ALL content forever and ever and ever] and I was like “oohhhh I wanna do that!!” So I literally just listened to music until I caught an idea and yikes. Looking at the AUs playlist now [it’s about 100 songs! Oops!] and I’m like [cartoony image of me laying face first on the floor]

This is a bit scattered because I wrote it over 3 days instead of working on the fic I’m supposed to be writing ooopsieeeee. Ramblings belowvvvvvvvvvv

It begins as simply as the game does. No one knows how to wish properly; so Siffrin wishes, because they know how to. The same folded leaf, repeated three times wish. Close to what is said in canon; different enough for the Universe to read it differently. No longer does Siffrin loop, because the wish isn’t about him, it’s about Bonnie and their sister. Siffrin’s wish is construed as “I wish Bonnie’s wish would come true,” and even if the Universe can’t hold onto Bonnie’s wish as they did it wrong, it CAN hold onto Siffrin’s.

And that’s the base point: EVERY LOOP, Siffrin wishes, because he wishes after he talks to them and that's where they loop back to, and its wish craft goes to Bonnie. A recipe for disaster with how much time they have!

They loop back when Siffrin gets crushed by the rock, because they can’t win while being down a party member. When they touch a tear, or when the sadnesses get the jump on the party and they all go down, or when they use the dagger equivalent [a poisoned snack], or when they get to the King. They Never Beat The King. Think SASASAaP but ISAT.

Bonnie doesn’t fight with craft, but rather craft-infused weapons. The wok and their pan for rock, a pair of kitchen shears for scissors and a cookbook for paper. Snacks for healing and buffs. And they have a cool friend that lives in the favor tree! [they get in fistfights like every five loops. Maybe it would be funny, someone just as willing to spar with them instead of trying to find the right words they can’t find because they’re a kid, if their friend wasn’t ALSO another version of themself, which bonnie clocks pretty late.] They pick up little quirks from their friends, like biting their nails like Belle, and puffing up to look bigger like Isa and stealing Dile's curses and closing an eye to match Frin's in focus. And maybe they start forgetting a little bit, just a little! The same thing over and over will get to you.

So everything essentially boils down to this. Bonnie specifically needs to be strong enough to beat the King, as the rest of the party doesn’t keep experience through loops. For a good chunk of the loops, they take advantage of Siffrin asking them if they need help and drag him into a training lesson that slowly goes from a whole emotional conversation to them quietly listening to Siffrin’s every word. [Siffrin fills this silence with random star facts that pop into their mind. This Is Important It WILL Be On The Test] Eventually the training becomes too tedious, so they start sneaking off to go fight sadnesses— and eventually just punch trees, which busts their knuckles— to get stronger faster! Everything goes downhill from there, with them forgetting to make food to them sneaking out at night to fight more to them getting reckless and uncaring; it snowballs down into “oh this could be considered suicidal confidence”.

Every loop, you say "hey, I'm trapped in a time loop", and EVERY time it is a big emotional thing that exhausts you to the point of going to bed immediately after, and everyone gets antsy and worried, and in the end the anxiety and trouble NEVER ends up mattering because the King still flattens the party every time. [And (shuffling through the sea of my notes for the au), imagine this from their situation for a second; Today, you tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that makes you cry, and you go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they will protect you, and you will protect them. You make sure he doesn't get squashed by a boulder, you make sure they find the key, you make sure they don't die. Tomorrow, you will tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They will drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that will make you cry, and you will go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they've failed to protect you, but they're trying this loop, and you'll still protect them anyway.]

And then the King fight. He grabs them and he kills them and it fucks them up. [it fucks them up, until it too happens again and again, and eventually it simply is just another obstacle you must pass, because the second his stupid hand wraps around you like a ragdoll it’s over, so you just spit in his face to make him press the trigger immediately and not drag it out for forever- imagine the most traumatic event in your entire life, repeated over and over, until it looses all meaning. It’s still traumatic, it’s sewn into your brain forever you will never forget this.]

They tell the party ‘hey, I just got murdered’, and if this au was ISAT, it would go from having a memory that gave everyone a defense buff to a memory that literally stops you from winning, randomly attaching to a party member. You couldn’t get rid of it. They’d take every hit for you, and you’d have to loop back, because you couldn’t win with an unremovable memory like that. and that’s why they stop saying things, because if the people you loved would die to protect you, something you don’t want and have the ability to stop, would you stop them?

And so everything collapses, and from that point [the start of act 4] it collapses fast.

WHICH LEADS US TO ENDLESS MY FAVORITE LITTLE THANG

if this is transparent or not I don’t fucking know and honestly. After 2 hours of fighting ibisPaint X to make it transparent I stopped caring. o7

Slight design notes tangent: the fucking. Wispy things around their limbs just kinda move around them- yknow because black holes pull things in and they are one. Their like,,,, face spike design??? Question mark on what 2 call it? It’s designed to look like their hair lol. The little star-dot things on their knuckles are important smile. Eventually I’ll post a full thing 4 them (I have like 2 pages of random doodles of them it’s craaazy)

Endless (or Ness, later on) is Bonnie’s loop-alike. They’re a little angry hater and I based them on the song Black Hole Sun [therefore they double-dip in the space theming, the little scoundrel! Imagine being both a black hole and a partial eclipse!! Damn why you taking all the space theming for!!] which was the song the whole AU was based on! Woah! Damn you carrying ALL the out of AU lore in you! They’re anger over fear while Bonnie is fear over anger.

They make me SO fucking upset. Like. I’m not being funny anymore. This is THE most upsetting character I’ve ever written. They make me cry. My entire schtik is making horror and this little creature is the most upset I've ever been at a creation of mine.

Endless is a Bonnie who, without exaggerating, literally imploded from having too much wish craft in them— hence the black hole theme. They went through an unreasonable amount of loops [i think I noted down 400??? Probably not that many, but hey, leveling is slow when half the time you rely on a scripted event that has like 3 enemies. Never really pinned anything down, but it’s a CRAZY upsetting amount.] and just couldn’t win,, and they eventually broke, and begged for it to stop— and, well, with so much wish craft in them, even without the proper rituals the Universe just couldn’t ignore ALL this wish craft, overflowing, in one spot. They asked for help and it killed them.

And then they were at the tree! And they’re helping a DIFFERENT Bonnie, who they’re upset at because what. What why is this happening? They asked for it to stop, not for a whole NEW Bonnie to exist and to do it all over again, what is this what, stop stop it. And they have to keep watching Siffrin wish, and doom them to their endless loop, and they have to tell Bonnie no, the party can’t help them like they want the party to do because the party never could help them, and it’s just going to bring them distress and heartache. Bonnie does it anyways, until the very beginning of act 4: it goes downhill from there, until they’re worried This Bonnie will end up like THEM.

They’re not the most self-confident type. They give themself the most un-nicknameable name [Bonnie still finds one that fits— Ness. They reluctantly accept it.] [Endless vc: Ness? Like? From Earthbound???] they can think of because nicknames are a love language and they speak it, and they don't think they deserve it anymore because they've Changed, and trade out the nicknames they have for the party for things they learned from Siffrin in their own many many training loops: The Sun, The Moon, The Star, The Sky, and Bonnie is Supernova, because its cool as hell and Siffrin told them that’s what happens when a star dies, and they died. Open foreshadowing. They take to closing the same eye they made Siffrin the Star loose, because if he doesn’t get to see anymore neither should they— even if that eventually becomes a natural thing, something they do now to focus. They talk about a sister they have— had, because their world is gone and she never got unfrozen, they never learned if she was alive under all that icy craft or not, and they’re not Bonnie anymore. Ness is Bonnie, but Bonnie is not Ness.

And so, when act 5 hits, they’re desperate. They can’t see it happen again, because it erased them as a person and it was terrifying enough why would you want to see it happen again? they prepare to storm the house, bevause theyre strong enough to tear it apart themself, get stopped by the party, and essentially they’ve replaced Bonnie for a loop; which would be okay, if failing didn’t mean there would probably be Two Endlesses and No Bonnie’s. By the end of the au, Bonnie, lvl 99, is like bringing a brick to a stare down. Endless, in comparison, is like bringing a bazooka to a fistfight. They can’t face the King, they can’t, it would probably mess something up [the party has them pinned as being a kid by this point— wether they realise Ness acts a lot like Bonnie or not, who knows] so they panic and wave the party off into the King’s room and fights off the remaining sadnesses to calm down.

And the Party brings Bonnie down, and they fight a fake version of their sister [who they win against, even if barely, because Nille is their sister and damnit, Nille would never hurt them, not after giving up her life for them] and they have a breakdown, and then there's two of them. There's Bonnie and there's Ness. Bonnie confronts them and they get in ANOTHER fistfight, bveause how else would two angry ultra-powerful preteens settle things, and Bonnie convinces them to come along, because their identity has been found out and damnit Nille really won't care, Ness is her sibling too.

[Nille approaches the situation carefully, but Bonnie is right: Nille sees the two of them and immediately decides she has two siblings and she wants to protect them. Both of them went through so, so much, and they saved the country and damnit it would be monstrous to throw Ness out to the wolves because they Changed. Aka I was physically incapable of letting Ness dissapear or have a bad ending they deserve the world too.]

I just I jsutt. Auguhghghghhh. au too big in my brain spill it out on the floor it goes everywhere. When you hyperfix on your own au

[salty-an-disco]

That Contra&Cold and Gregg&Mae comparison inspired a full-blown AU, and now I’m thinking about these guys living in a small town that may or may not be haunted and/or have some weird eldritch shit going on. Thanks to @birdmitosis for brainstorming this plot bunny with me!!

Their surnames are taken directly from the characters in Night in the Woods, and while I gave them actual names, they still sometimes use the STP titles as nicknames.

Some scenes I doodled:

[sieglinde-freud]

i love giving nah siblings bc then the excuse for her being so small bc shes “half manakete” doesnt fly anymore. look at this fucking guy he’s like 5’7 MAX and towers over her. whateverrrrr. at least she got the better hair color

anyways DRAGON INIGO 🤩🤩🤩

hes so gaehejrjdjehgejfkr ahahehehha wow. teehee :3

[alectology-archive]

while it’s important that rj understood how prolonged exposure to trauma would mess with you psychologically on various axes - mental, emotional, spiritual, physical - it’s also very significant that he put in the work to question and explore how people could go about healing and recovering from their experiences with a realistic attitude.

sometimes they don’t heal - they don’t understand that they need healing, dismiss their instincts, or manage to bury all the complicated emotions they’re feeling. it’s seen when mat suffers from a severe case of survivor’s guilt whenever he survives a battle, and this is observed more obviously when he escapes from ebou dar without managing to save all the windfinders; he also doesn’t have the vocabulary to express why the abuse he suffers at tylin’s hands feels wrong, and his cultural background and his tendency to lie to himself prevents him from examining why this is the case. rand is simply incapable of dealing with the sheer physical, mental and emotional stress he’s subjected to without a support system to back him up - support that he’s specifically unwilling to ask for because he doesn’t want to be put in a position of vulnerability just like mat and has a very unique relationship with the level of autonomy he’s afforded and the abuse he may be subjected to as a result of his madness - and resorts to unhealthy coping mechanisms and internalises traits that also serve as an allegory for ideologies that toxic masculinity directly feeds off of; he reacts to aes sedai very badly although he eventually unlearns that instinct; he’s extremely suicidal, and lews therin works as an indirect metaphor for depression. egwene feels the need to be in a position of power whenever approaching a certain relationship (be it romantic, platonic or otherwise) after her time as a damane, and is often uncomfortable with setting down her guard unless she trusts the people she’s working with; rj has a very complicated track with his depiction of corporal punishment but he also touches on how it enables people in power to take advantage of it to abuse the people under their control through egwene’s arc. rand specifically laments how the sort of stigma and alienation that male channelers face will never really go away because of the fear ingrained into popular belief, and that’s also a very accurate depiction of how certain mental illnesses are received by society.

but rj puts in the extra work to explore how people who have access to support systems and are on the receiving end of patience and compassion are able to get on the path to recovery. he has nynaeve & co deal with the problem of deprogramming egeanin, the sul’dam and damane who’re thoroughly brainwashed by the seanchan. juilin is able to help amathera recover by being very sympathetic to her situation and protecting her from difficult situations that could trigger her ptsd. rj specifically spends a significant amount of time letting joline, teslyn and edesina slowly encourage the seanchan channelers to entertain the idea of their ability not being a curse and to even train to control it at the white tower. the maidens are able to get a read on rand’s discomfort with the dark and small spaces post dumai’s wells and are kind enough to always leave a light on in the dark for him; they also push rand to take his meals and care for himself. the asha’man are explicitly recognised as a group which needs to unlearn some of the toxic ideas encoded in the founding principles that rand introduced. rand himself is recognised to be in dire need of help again in the latter half of the series, although we never got to see the culmination of that arc, unfortunately* - but I have a theory that his arc as a hero is tied very closely to his ability to recover from the various traumas he’s subjected to.

wheel of time takes a very realistic stance on mental health and ptsd. more significantly, it recognises that trauma might not necessarily bring about a positive transformation in a person. and that’s okay.

*cadsuane’s arrival is the only one I can’t get a clear read on, and feels so obviously doomed to disaster from the very beginning given how her personality clashes with rand’s and with her introduction with the intent of controlling rand and never respecting his opinions or autonomy - but given how she’s criticised by the narrative, I’m inclined to believe that min’s reading might have potentially been fulfilled in a bittersweet way as her readings often are. if rand learned how to embrace his humanity again, I can’t imagine that she would have ever had a part to play in it that involved compassion or understanding.

[sadiecoocoo]

Guys… I have to go back to school… in twelve hours