#but no i just have to be unpoetically simply sad

[otlwoozi]

maybe ill draw valentines art! hopefully

[thekirstenkhaye]

infinities x wormholes (what’s beyond?)

It’s almost June, eh? And I just decided to write now about this event of my life that happened 3 months ago. Sorry, okay? I thought it would be easy to sit down and write everything that I was feeling right after he left. Apparently, it’s not that easy. One thing’s sure though, I am very excited of what’s more there beyond, now that we’ve finally got to meet each other.

Now that you’re reading this part, it means you’re interested to know more, yeah? I guess, it’ll be perfect to have some story time on how we met and how this relationship all started. If you’re a regular reader, you would know how rocky this had been. Not that it’s worth a drama series kind of rocky road though, it wasn’t just that smooth of a ride. Anyhow, if you came from Instagram and just read my blog for the first time from a link there, welcome to Lifenigma and this is how I met Gravity…

Yes, his name here is Gravity, and if you know his real name then just keep it to yourself. I know it, you know it, that’s enough. But here, he is Gravity. Why the nickname? Because no matter how cliché it may sound he has this kind of pull that kept the broken parts of myself that I fixed in their right places intact and together. And I guess, the most important thing that he does is keeping me grounded. When life knocked me down, I’ve kept myself busy learning, no matter what and how, I fed myself with knowledge and wisdom that I never thought I’d ever learn nor stumble upon if 2013 summer shits didn’t happen. Anyway, because of all these new found knowledge, my confidence also shoot up and thanks to him, there are things that I still learned about being responsible with the power of knowledge that I gained. If I even made sense there. LOL.

Gravity always tell me how lucky he is to have found me but quite frankly, it may not seem that I feel so lucky and thankful that I’ve found him too, but I am since that night I replied to him and continued our conversation up until now that I am writing this. And I’m sure that I’ll always be for the rest of my life.

Okay I won’t take this any longer, here’s how we met and knew each other. If you already know the story, I guess it’s just up to you now if you would still read what I’ll be sharing on here. I’m sure I’ve been so cryptic on my first post about us and how on earth we knew each other, it was all just about how I was feeling because I was starting to like him and all those jazz. Read it here if you want to know how cringey I was then. LMAO. In total, I’ve only posted 3 full blog posts (excluding this one) that’s just talking about Gravity and I. So, how did we really meet?

It’s kind of typical, I think? How would a Filipina get to meet a Canadian other than the stereotypical working in a bar? Meeting them on the internet. Yes, and that’s how we met. Do you know Omegle? If yes, then high five! If not, it’s a website where you can talk to anyone and both of you will be totally strangers. You won’t be able to choose who you would get to talk to because the site will be the one to pick a stranger for you. What you can only do there to control who you would be able to talk to is to put your interests or what topics you would want to talk about that moment then the site will look for a random stranger with the same interests for you. For me, it’s actually a nice site especially if you just want someone to talk to because you can fake your name and every personal shit about yourself if you want to. Best thing? You won’t need an account, so you won’t have a username or some shit like that, all you have to do is go to the site of Omegle and boom you can choose if you want to talk with certain topics you want to talk about or if you want to video chat some stranger, it’s all up to you. I almost forgot, there’s also an option if you just want to talk through pure chat or through a video chat. So that’s where we met.

Now of course you would want to know specifics…

Text or Video? Text. Duh, I was just bored and I wanted someone to talk to that time. He knows this so yeah, no big deal. :P

Interests/Topics I put? Books and Music. What topic did we match? Music.

Did we introduced ourselves ahead with our real name? Nope. Age? Nope. Location? And NOPE.

How long did our conversation on Omegle last? About an hour or so I think. I’m sure though that it’s quite long. And it was my first time to talk to someone with so much sense that we actually lasted so long talking without having to pause and think for another topic or something to make the conversation longer.

First, I don’t think we actually talked about music so much before our main topic got so long that we just clicked, I think? What’s the main topic? Political views, I guess if I can remember it right. LOL. I’ll ask him once he got to read this and if he can remember and it wasn’t our political views then I’ll just edit this part to the right one. Hehe. Second, yes, we didn’t introduce ourselves with our true identity on Omegle. Why? Simple, it’s not safe and after all it was just a past time. And apparently, we were just doing the same thing hence we both didn’t give our true name, age and location to each other. Now if you would ask how we knew we’re both lying to each other with all those things? It was when we were already exchanging our Skype usernames. And that’s how it all started.

Since that night (March 9, 2015), we just continued on talking, sharing different knowledge that we both have to each other. I must say that we aren’t really into the same things, but somehow, day after day, we’re like piecing every puzzle piece together and they fit in just right.

I know you’ll be curious when did he get to see me? It took a whole week for me to do that I think? I was shy, okay? My face was full of acne those times and my hair was growing from my very short bob cut. But yeah, when we started talking on Skype, I already saw his face. He had this luscious long brown hair looking so cute that the people in the house gushed how he looked like Leonardo De Caprio for some reason. Yes, I know, they’re overreacting. LOL. I did tell him though that I never saw him that way. However he was indeed really cute, that’s for sure. I still even have copies of print screens of how he looked like those time.

Okay, let’s move on. Story time is over or this will be a whole novel of just me talking about our early days. Haha.  

So, before Gravity’s arrival I’ve posted 2 full blogs about us after the very first entry. One was when we got back together, and if you want to know more about that, you can read that here. And the most recent was my feelings and whatnot about him finally visiting me and if you want to read about that, you can check it out here. Now, how do I feel that I finally met him in person and spent time with him?

I’m thankful.

That’s how I can only sum it all up unpoetically. You know, it wasn’t just happy. It wasn’t just nerve wracking. It wasn’t just scary. And definitely not an experience I’d ever regret. It was everything that I have expected to feel like because that’s how a normal relationship should go. It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, that’s for sure. We argued for a couple of times. But that’s normal. As I said, we’re two different individuals hence we have two different opinions at some point that’s why it needed to be discussed upon. You know, weighing our differences and for me that experience was actually a great thing. During the moment, of course I was nervous, I was scared even at some point but eventually when I already got to tell him my side, everything just goes back to being okay and we’ll be on the same page again. I always say this on Twitter and I think it’s time to say it here now since I’m very sure of it already.

COMMUNICATION is the most important factor of any kind of relationship. And while communicating is a must, we should also know how to APPRECIATE. Even the simplest things like giving compliments or simply giving time and effort to message each other. It really goes a long way. COMMUNICATE and APPRECIATE, for me these are the key ingredients to make a relationship work, especially with Long Distance Relationship. Because I know for a fact how easy it is to think of all the what ifs when you don’t get a message or if your partner feels like getting cold on you, oh God knows how easy it is to just get pissed off and be done on handling those kind of treatments especially for girls when our hormones are fucking with our emotions. I think it’s already a common thing to talk about mood swings of girls when they have their period, but I don’t think it’s been talked enough how girls have these bitches in their heads no matter how much they don’t want them messing in there about paranoia and trust issues. It’s weird and wicked and sad but it’s true that it’s in girl’s nature to just easily think of the worse plausible scenario when things are not going the way they want it to be. And honestly, dealing with those bitches in my head is what has been giving me a hard time on being in a Long Distance Relationship. After Gravity’s visit, it became harder to just brush them off in my head when they started kicking in. Hence, I remind myself every single day how important it is to just communicate with him especially during the times when something is really bothering me. He listens and talks to me about it with what he really thinks of what I told him, and for me, that’s worth loads of appreciation because it means both of you are working things out. Being in a relationship is a two seater ride after all where both of you are the navigators that have to be teaming up to reach the destination you both planned on going.

Did I just sound preachy there? I hope not. But yeah, it would be nice though if I actually made sense with what I just said. I mean, our relationship is not perfect but we’re working it out perfectly in my opinion. It’s always nice to wake up every morning with something to look forward to because you know that there’s so much more and you’ll be there when it’s time. Also it’s a wonderful feeling that the word IF is barely being used anymore because most of them have been replaced to WHEN already. :)

By the way if you are here because of The Right Man Will Love Everything the Wrong Man Walked Away From by Rania Naim via @thoughtcatalog — it is linked on the title, just click on it and you’ll be redirected to its page. Sorry if I let you read my love story and all my probably unwanted opinion about relationships, Long Distance relationships at that. But I do hope you enjoyed what you’ve read though. 

Always remember, love is precious. And being in a relationship may not be easy at times but it’s simple. That’s just for me anyway because that’s what I always say to myself even in terms of living life in general.