#but no Im so glad I made it to 22… things DO get better until your world gets crushed but hey

[hwxnghyynjin]

I posted 1,237 times in 2022

That's 1,237 more posts than 2021!

755 posts created (61%)

482 posts reblogged (39%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hwxnghyynjin

@changbeens

@hyunpic

@heeseongism

I tagged 728 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#answered - 403 posts

#anonymous - 167 posts

#jasmine 🦄 - 108 posts

#jasminexox - 96 posts

#beansprout - 35 posts

#🍑 anon - 32 posts

#my love - 31 posts

#stray kids - 24 posts

#pva anon - 24 posts

#rivblur - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#aria bby i love you and i hope you know that you are also loved and that im proud of you too and im glad that you exist 💖

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fuck You Better

Pairing: ji changmin x reader Genre: enemies with benefits, smut, angst Warnings: rough sex, swearing, fingering, degradation, humiliation, choking, oral, face fucking, spanking Words: 1,595

The sound of knocking on your door made you jump, almost dropping a mug on the floor. You left the kitchen and opened the door. The person behind the door isn't who you were expecting, and your blood boiled. It was Ji Changmin, your enemy. Well, enemies with benefits. 

“What are you doing here?”, you spat, Changmin rolling his eyes at you. He didn’t say anything and just barged passed you into your apartment, leaving you speechless. You closed the door behind you as you followed Changmin further into your apartment. “Hey, this is my apartment so you don’t have the right to just barge right in here”, you shouted to him as you continued to follow him. Coincidentally into your bedroom.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?!” you lunged yourself at Changmin, grabbing his arm, going to turn him around. But before you could do that, Changmin turned you around and pushed you up against the wall, your cheek squished against it. He pushed his crotch up against your ass, his hands holding your hips.

“Don’t try to get smart with me, missy. You don’t want to get me angry, do you? Because you know what happens when I get angry”, he said, pushing his crotch up against you even more, resisting the urge to moan. 

“W-what do you want, Changmin?”, you asked, feeling a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach. “How was your time with Jacob?”, he asked, his hands wandering down your body. You scoffed at his question, which you soon regretted as you felt yourself being pushed further into the wall in front of you.

“Did he fuck you better than me? Did he make you moan louder than me? Did he make you scream and see stars, hm? How about fucking you to the point you can’t walk?”, his words were making you clench around nothing, a small moan leaving your mouth. Changmin’s hand slipped into the material of your shorts and panties, his fingers playing with your clit. He pumped a finger in and out of you slowly, the sound of wetness being the only thing heard in the room, aside from your moans.

“I hope you know that I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk, doll”, Changmin whispered into your ear, his fingers continuing to pump in and out of your wet pussy. His fingers got faster, your clenching around him as you feel yourself reaching your first orgasm. “I haven’t done anything to you apart from finger you, and you’re already nearing your first orgasm? You really are a pathetic needy little bitch, aren’t you”, his words were harsh but that’s what you liked. You soon came all over his fingers, a moan leaving your mouth.

He removed his hand from inside your pants, sucking his fingers clean as he moaned at the taste of your juices. You turned around and glared at him, wanting to wipe the smirk off his face. So that’s what you did. You didn’t even hesitate as you slapped him across the face, and man, it felt good. Changmin held his cheek, turning his head to look back at you, his face full of shock. You went to slap him again but before your hand could come into contact with his face, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him, wrapping a hand around your throat. 

“You want to be like that? Fine”, Changmin snarled and nudged your legs, making you fall to your knees. You eyed his growing bulge, your mouth watering. Changmin pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, his hard cock hitting his abdomen. 

“Be the good little bitch that you are and suck”, you didn’t need to be asked twice and started licking the sides of his cock before teasing his tip. You sucked on his tip, looking up at Changmin with your lust-filled eyes. He groaned as you took him in your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat, making you gag. 

The sounds of slurping and Changmin’s moaned filled the room, his hand gripping your hair, fucking into your mouth, making you choke on his cock with every thrust. Cum mixed with saliva dribbling down your chin as Changmin came down your throat. You took him out of your mouth, cum dripping off your tongue onto the floor, neither of you giving a fuck about making a mess.

As soon as you stood up, Changmin grabbed you by your t-shirt and ripped it open, not caring about your protests that it was your favourite t-shirt. The next thing you knew, you were both naked and lying on the bed, Changmin’s face between your thighs. He was being the teasing little shit that he was, aggressively sucking on your inner thighs, close to where you wanted him.

“Changmin, for fucks sake, if you don’t eat me the fuck out, I’m going to bite your dick off with my teeth”, you threatened him, hearing him scoff at your words. He soon sucked on your clit, moans leaving you as you tugged on his hair, shoving his face further between your legs.

Changmin was practically making out with your pussy, his tongue pumping in and out of you, your moans getting louder. You didn’t care if you were disturbing your neighbours with how loud you were being, all you cared about right now was having your back blown by the one person you hate most. Sex with Changmin was always aggressive and rough, the amount of built up anger and frustartion helped with it.

You felt yourself reaching your second orgasm, clenching around Changmin’s tongue. You arched your back as your orgasm got closer, your moans getting more high pitched. You soon came, and you came hard. Changmin licked it up with his tongue, moaning as he swallowed it all. 

Changmin hovered over you and wrapped his arm around your waist, flipping your body over on the bed. One spank became two, and then three. Your ass became red with the amount of times Changmin spanked you, but the pain was pleasurable, you moaned after every hit. He gripped your hair tightly, putting it into a makeshift ponytail, before ramming his cock in you from behind. He didn’t give you time to adjust before thrusting in and out of you at a slow, yet rough, pace. 

The sound of your moans rang in his ears, smirking at how turned on and horny you were. “You like that, yeah? You really are a horny bitch for my cock, aren’t you? I bet no one can fuck you as rough as I do”, his words made tears stream down your cheeks, the pleasure making you feel amazing.

Changmin thrusted in and out of you a few more times before your arousal started dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets under you, his hips hitting your ass. 

He pulled out of you, pumping his cock and shooting cum all over your ass, letting out a groan of pleasure. He didn’t give you a chance to catch your breath before he flipped you over again, your back hitting the mattress. He hovered over you again, wrapping a hand around your throat before thrusting in and out of your pussy again, his balls hitting your ass. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you up with him into a sitting position, your legs wrapping around him.

He continued thrusting up into you, his hand wrapping tighter around your throat, constricting the air from reaching your lungs, making you lightheaded. “Awww baby, you can’t breathe? You weren’t complaining when you were choking on my cock, were you? So suck it up and deal with it. Unless you want me to slap your ass again, like the naughty little bitch you are”, you narrowed your eyes at his words, before burying your face in the crook of his neck, biting down on the skin, leaving a mark. 

Another spank landed on your ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. He let go of your throat to grip your ass. You were sure you would have handprints on your ass for the next few days, but you didn’t care.

“I hate you so much”, you said as Changmin thrusted up into you roughly, your boobs jiggling. “You’re saying that right now? As I’m balls deep inside you? Are you sure you hate me, doll?” Changmin smirked as he brought your face close to his, his hand holding your throat.

“I hate your guts so much. Your face pisses me off whenever I see it and I just wanna- hnng”, your words were cut off as a certain thrust up into you hit your g spot, making you clench around him. You felt him twitch inside you, before he came inside your pussy, the both of you letting out a moan. You soon came after him, covering his cock in your arousal.

He pulled out of you, pushing you back onto the bed. He cleaned himself up and got dressed while you continued to lie on your bed, catching your breath. “You literally fucked me and now you’re going? Wow, I really do hate you. Asshole”, you scoffed at him as Changmin just rolled his eyes.

“We’re enemies and fuck whenever we’re horny, what do you want me to do? Treat you like a princess? Please, I don’t do that”, he said and winked at you, leaving you speechless as he left your apartment.

You really hate his guts, but he fucks you so good. 

176 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

Ridin'

Pairing: sunwoo x reader Genre: smut Warnings: thigh riding, oral, fingering, face fucking, gagging Words: 1,280

You and Sunwoo were alone in the dorm, the rest of the boys either in the studio or out shopping. You were watching a film while sitting next to each other on the couch. Well, Sunwoo was watching the film, you were looking at something else. His thighs.

You arrived at the dorm not long ago, wanting to spend the whole day with Sunwoo. Sangyeon greeted you at the door, giving you a side hug, letting you inside. You were greeted by the rest of the boys, except Sunwoo. Juyeon told you he was in his room, giving you a wink. The sudden wink made you confused, but you just thought it was Juyeon being Juyeon. You thought Juyeon was kinda weird, but then again, all the boys are weird.

They all left not long after you arrived, Jacob being the last one to leave, closing the door behind him. You walked towards Sunwoo’s room, excitement bubbling up inside you. It’s been a while since the two of you got to spend some alone time together because of their busy schedules.

His door opened, and the sight in front of you made your heart pound. He was dressed in a tight white t-shirt and black shorts. Short shorts. Just the sight of him made the pit of your stomach burn, wanting to push him against the wall and make out with him, but you controlled yourself.

You’re now currently sitting beside him, watching some film on the television screen which you lost interest in, finding Sunwoo’s thighs more interesting to look at. His golden skin looked so soft, wanting to run your hands along his thighs. Grazing your teeth over the skin, running your tongue over the flesh as you bite down, sucking hickeys. Gripping his thighs as you take his cock in your mouth. The thought had a pool of wetness in your panties, making you clench your thighs together.

Sunwoo saw you from the corner of his eye, seeing you rub your thighs together, smirking to himself. He wanted to see how far he could push you before you lost it, so he spread his legs, pushing his shorts further up to expose more skin, leaning back in his seat. He rested his head against the back of the seat, still looking at the tv.

The whimpers that left your throat made him chuckle, continuing to tease you. He was going to give you what you wanted, but he just wanted to tease you for a bit. He continued to tease you for a while, the sounds leaving your mouth making a tent in his shorts.

“Sunwoo, please”, your whimpers getting louder as you place a hand on his thigh, the skin under your palm feeling hot. Sunwoo hissed as your hand went further towards his crotch, bucking his hips up unconsciously.

“Want to ride you so bad”, just the thought of you riding him made Sunwoo moan out, throwing his head back against the couch. He grabbed your hips, pulling you onto his thigh as you let out a yelp. The skirt you were wearing was bunched up to your hips, your panties coming into contact with his bare thigh.

“Ride me, baby. Be the good girl that you are and ride the shit out of my thigh”, his words hit your ears, his hands gripping your hips as he helped you ride his thigh. You moved along his thigh, your movements starting off slow. You felt yourself getting wetter the more you moved against him, your moans getting more high pitched. “Just like that babe, you’re doing great”, Sunwoo praised you, pressing his lips to your neck as he sucked on your sweet spot, earning a loud whimper from you.

You loved riding his thigh, but the friction on your panties wasn’t enough so, you took matters into your own hands and slipped your panties off, the air hitting your wet pussy. Sunwoo moaned as your cunt came into contact with his thigh again, riding him again. 

Your movement got sloppier as you felt yourself getting closer to your high, your head thrown back as Sunwoo continued to suck purple marks on your skin, your shirt pulled down showing your cleavage. 

“Gonna cum Sunwoo- hnng”, you were getting closer to your orgasm, Sunwoo clenching his thigh underneath you, edging you on even more. You soon came undone on his thigh, your juices leaking out of you as you scrunch your eyes shut, your mouth agape, a loud sigh leaving you.

You got off his thigh and sat on the floor between his legs, looking up at him innocently. You move your hands to the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down his legs, along with his boxers. His cock sprung out, hitting his stomach. You gripped his shaft, twisting your hand around the base before putting him in your mouth.

You swirl your tongue around his tip, bobbing your head up and down, gagging as his tip hits the back of your throat. “Shit baby, just like that”, Sunwoo placed a hand in your hair, gripping it slightly. Your free hand touched his balls, fondling them, making Sunwoo hiss, unconsciously bucking his hips up. 

He fucked your mouth, making you gag on his cock, tears forming in your eyes. Saliva dribbled down your chin, the grip on your hair getting tighter as Sunwoo twitched in your mouth, nearing his high. You moaned around him, the vibrations going through his body. He soon released in your mouth, his cum going down your throat, some dribbling down your chin. You swallowed him, taking him out of your mouth. 

You wiped the tears from your eyes and the cum from your mouth, standing up. As soon as you stood up, Sunwoo grabbed you and pushed you down on the couch, climbing on top of you. He ripped your skirt off, throwing it to the floor.

“Sunwoo! That was my favourite skirt”, you whined as you saw the ripped item of clothing on the floor, pouting. Sunwoo just chuckled lowly as he put his face between your legs. “I can buy you another one”, he said before he placed little kisses along your inner thighs, inching closer to your core.

He kissed your clit, licking your folds as he moaned at the taste of you. He sucked on your nub, the feeling making you arch your back. He basically made out with your cunt, moaning into you.

You closed your legs around his head, the feeling too much for you, but Sunwoo gripped your thighs and pushed your legs back onto the couch. His tongue pumped in and out of your hole, his nose nudging you every so often. Your hand gripped his hair, pushing his face further into you. His hands continue gripping your thighs, his nails digging into your skin, the pain of it mixing with the pleasure you were currently feeling.

He moved one of his hands off of your thigh, moving it to your cunt, inserting a finger into you. “Oh god, fuck, right there”, you moaned out, the feeling making you see stars. Sunwoo inserted another finger, curling his fingers inside you, hitting your g-spot. Your moans got louder and higher as you reached your second orgasm, the feeling in your stomach burning. 

“Please, I wanna cum”, you felt yourself getting closer to cumming, Sunwoo continuing to finger you. He hummed into your cunt, and you soon came all over his tongue and fingers, your juices coating them. 

Sunwoo swallowed your juices, licking his fingers clean. “Fuck, you taste so good babygirl, can’t wait to fuck you so hard, you can’t walk for a week”.

236 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#3

Let's Get Dirty

Pairing: lee felix x reader Genre: smut Warnings: oral, fingering, finger sucking, cum eating, use of restraints, felix has a belly button piercing (not necessarily a warning but.. the idea of him having one is hot), mentions of a safeword, rough sex, degradtion, humiliation, overstimulation, mentions of shower sex Words: 1,630 Taglist: @alphadisaster @lee--felix @heeseongism

When you opened the door, you didn’t expect Felix to smash his lips against yours, pushing you inside and kicking the door closed with his foot. You were pushed up against the wall, Felix’s body against yours, no space between your bodies.

His hands rested against your hips, your arms going around his neck. The kiss started off soft and sweet, before it gradually got more heated and passionate. Your tongues fought for dominance, you trying to dominate Felix but he ended up dominating you, his tongue winning. He licked your lips before biting your bottom lip, earning a whimper from you.

His lips trailed from your lips down to your jaw, and then to your neck. He licked a particular part of your neck that made your knees buckle, having to grip onto the back of Felix’s t-shirt. He nipped your skin, sucking on it until there was a purple spot on your neck.

He dragged his bottom lip up to your ear, nibbling on your lobe. You let out a breathy moan, biting your bottom lip. “Fuck baby, I missed you so much”, he groaned in your ear, his deep voice sending vibrations to your core.

His hands travelled from your hips down to your ass, giving it a squeeze. You could feel his bulge against your leg, feeling how turned on he is, which also turns you on even more. He kisses you again, the one more rougher than the previous. He cupped your ass, lifting you up using all his strength. You wrapped your legs around his waist, moving your hands to the nape of his neck, tugging on his hair.

He placed you down on your bed, hovering over you, not breaking the kiss. He grinded his bulge against your core, causing you to whimper in his mouth. He held one of your hands, moving it to touch his bulge. “Do you feel how hard I am? All because of you. I’ve been horny all day, since you sent me those provocative pictures this morning. That was a dangerous move, baby. Just so you know, I’m not going to go easy on you”, his voice dropped an octave, becoming deeper than usual. 

His fingers played with the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling them down your legs. He pushed your t-shirt up, revealing your stomach, placing kisses along your skin, reaching the top of your panties. You whimpered at his touch, arching your back. He pulled your panties down, throwing them onto the floor. He moved his way down your body, kissing your inner thighs. He nipped at the skin, trailing his lips closer to where you needed him. 

You teased him that morning and he was going to do the same thing to you, refusing to give you what you wanted, purposely kissing anywhere he could reach with his lips except for where you needed him. “Felix, please”, you whined, pleading for him to touch you. He smirked at you as you continued to beg for his tongue and fingers to be inside you. 

“Oh how the tables have turned. Usually I’m the one begging to be inside you, now it’s you begging for me to be inside you”, Felix said with a chuckle. He decided he had teased you enough, and he placed a kiss on your nub. His tongue came into contact with your clit, licking it. 

He basically made out with your pussy, your juices coating his tongue as you moaned loudly. You pulled his hair, earning a groan from him, which sent vibrations through your body. Felix gripped your thighs to stop them from moving, holding them down on the bed. His nose nudged against you, his tongue pumping in and out of you. You felt yourself getting closer to your first orgasm, your moans getting louder and more high pitched.

You feel yourself coming undone as you come, your juices coating Felix’s tongue. He licked up your arousal, your juices dripping down his chin as he looked up at you. You thought he would let you breathe for a moment, but you were wrong as he inserted a finger in you, and then another. He curled his fingers inside you, reaching your g-spot. 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, gripping the sheets under you. “You feel so good baby”, Felix moaned out, feeling you clench around his fingers. His fingers pumped in and out faster, you having to bite your lip, worried that if you moan really loud, the neighbours would complain about the noise.

“Baby, don’t hold back. Let the neighbours complain all they want. Let them know how good I make you feel”, Felix said, his other hand moving to your ass and squeezed it, gripping the flesh. 

You reached your second orgasm sooner than you thought, coming on his fingers as you let out a really loud moan. He pulled his fingers out of you, tapping your lips, telling you to open your mouth. You obliged, Felix putting his fingers in your mouth, you sucking on them. “See how good you taste, hm?”

He suddenly got off you, making you confused. He grabbed something from a drawer, and walked back to you. You looked at him and saw what he was holding: a pair of red fluffy handcuffs. Your eyes widened as you stared at them. You’ve never been handcuffed before and the thought of being handcuffed aroused you.

Felix stripped you naked before grabbing your wrists, placing them above your head and handcuffed you to the headboard. He slowly undressed himself, lifting his t-shirt above his head. You stared at his chest, his abs on show. You noticed his belly button was pierced, which you haven’t seen before. Fuck, that made him even more attractive.

He unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them down his legs, kicking them to the side, leaving him in his boxers. He palmed himself as he looked at you handcuffed on the bed, naked and arousal dripping from your pussy. 

He pulled his boxers down, his cock springing out and hitting his abdomen. He kicked his boxers to the side and walked over to you, hovering over your body. His tip teased your entrance, earning a hiss from you. 

“If it gets too much, use the safe word, ok? Do you remember your safe word?” he asked, looking down at you. Even when he’s rough, he is always so sweet and makes sure you’re ok. “Marshmallow”, you said, closing your eyes. 

He pushed his cock in you slowly, the both of you groaning and hissing at the pain, but also pleasure. He started moving his hips, starting off slow. As soon as he knew you were ok, his movements got more rough, gripping your hips and slamming his cock in and out of you. The feeling made you scream, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring him closer to you.

Sex with Felix is normally soft and sweet, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and kissing all over your body. But when he’s in a bad mood or you’ve been teasing him all day, that’s when he snaps and goes rough on you. Not that you mind though, you love it when he’s rough. When the sex is rough, the both of you go on for hours, not stopping until both of you are tired out.

Felix buried his face in your neck, placing hot opened mouth kisses as he continued to thrust in and out of you. His hands were either side of your body, gripping the sheets. He hit your g-spot, feeling you clench around his cock. 

“You’re such a fucking slut for my cock, aren’t you, hm? Begging for my cock like the dumb little whore that you are”, he groaned in your ear, biting the lobe. You threw your head back into the pillows, tears streaming down your face. 

“Look at you crying. Is my cock too much for you? Suck it up and take it like the little slut you are”, in your past relationships, your ex’s spoke to you like that during rough sex and it turned you off so bad but ever since you started dating Felix, you developed a degradation and humiliation kink, especially when he says those nasty and dirty things in his deep voice. 

You felt his cock twitch inside you, meaning that he is close to his orgasm. He moaned loudly, his deep voice resonating through the room. His movements got sloppy, his moans turning into breathy pants. He soon came, his juices coating your walls. You came not long after him, your juices coating his cock. Felix didn’t stop, continuing thrusting in and out of you, wanting to bring you to more orgasms. And that’s exactly what he did.

You went on for hours, your legs shaking like mad as Felix pulled out of you. He rolled off of you, lying beside you on the bed. You both caught your breath, and you looked at the clock, seeing it was 4am. Your legs couldn’t stop shaking no matter how hard you tried to stop them, nothing would work.

“I would say do you want to have a round 2 in the shower but your legs won’t stop shaking”, Felix said and you looked over at him. “That’s not going to stop me from having a round 2”, you said as you got up. You tried to stand up but ended up falling back down on the bed. Felix ended up picking you up, taking you into the shower and cleaning the both of you up instead. You didn’t stay clean for long though, as you both ended up having a round 2 after all. You definitely weren’t going to be able to walk for a few days. 

287 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

#2

Tease

Pairing: bang chan x reader Genre: smut, slight fluff at the end Warnings: daddy kink, rough sex, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, fingering, choking, use of the word 'kitten' Words: 752 Taglist: @alphadisaster

Chan had finished writing the song he was struggling with, and he felt pleased so he decided to leave the studio and head over to your house, his girlfriend. He let himself in as he had spare keys to your house, and called for your name. 

“y/n! Where are you? I have some good news. I finally finished the song I was struggling with…..”, he trailed off as he saw you lying on the couch, wearing nothing but his dress shirt and he noticed your bare ass peeking through. “Oh, hey Channie”, you said innocently, looking behind you while you swung your legs up and down. You fluttered your eyelashes at him, trying to play innocent but Chan knew better. 

“Babe. You know what happens when you play tricks like this, don’t you”, Chan said, his voice an octave lower. You just giggled and continued to play innocent. “Uhm…. I don’t know Channie”, you giggled again. “You get punished, don’t you?”, Chan said, starting to unbuckle his belt. You’re lying on your back now as Chan unzips his pants, making you lick your lips. Take your shirt off and turn around, and put your ass up in the air”, Chan instructed and that’s what you did. You wiggled your bare ass at him and you suddenly felt a spank, making you fall forward. Chan spanked your ass a couple of times, making sure you have a handprint on your ass. “This pretty ass is mine”, Chan grabbed your ass and squeezed it but spanked it again, making you moan. 

Before you know it, Chan is ramming his dick in you from behind, your ass hitting his front. He grabbed your hair and pulled it back, his other arm going across your stomach, holding you in place in front of him. “You love being a fucking tease, don’t you? You slut. Love having my cock thrusting in and out of you from behind. What a whore”, Chan said, causing you to moan out loud and you felt yourself becoming more wet from his words. The hand that was grabbing your hair went down to your wet cunt, inserting 2 fingers into you. Pumping his fingers in and out, your juices coating his finger. You came all over his fingers and he shoved his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself.

Chan continued thrusting into you, his thrusts more rougher than before, and you would have fallen forward if it weren’t for his arm supporting you. You felt yourself coming to your second orgasm, and Chan could tell from your breathing. “Cum for me, baby. Cum for daddy”, Chan moaned in your ear and a second later, you came all over the couch, but you didn’t care at this point. Chan pulled out of you and flipped you on your back, and his hand went to your throat, choking you. The gesture made you smirk up at him, loving this side of Chan. He’s normally the sweet, soft dom in bed but when you tease him or piss him off, he can go rough, making you not being able to walk for days. 

The pressure around your neck got tighter and you felt yourself getting wet again, and Chan started kissing all over your chest, sucking and biting on your collarbone, chest and breasts. He started playing with your nipples, which were sensitive and hard, and you arched your back at the feeling. Chan suddenly thrusted his dick in you again, making you scream, and his thrusts were sloppy and rough. “You’re so tight, aren’t you? My pretty little slut is too tight for her daddy’s cock”, he moaned out between thrusts. As much as you love the sweet, soft side of Chan, you loved this side of him even more. 

“D-daddy, please let me cum again”, you moaned out, Chan looking down at you. “I don’t know kitten, do you deserve it?”, he asked you, making you whine. “Yes, I’ll be good, I promise daddy”, you whined and Chan decided to let you cum again, and you came all over his cock, Chan cumming not long after you. Chan felt himself grow soft inside you, and pulled out, falling on top of you. “Chan, I think we need to get cleaned up”, you said, stroking his hair. “In a minute, I want to cuddle with you first”, Chan said, making you giggle. How can someone who was rough on you a few minutes ago become so cute and soft the next?

311 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Good Boy Gone Bad

Pairing: heeseung x male reader Genre: smut Warnings: dom!heeseung, sub!reader, masturbation, daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation, use of restraints, humiliation, rough sex, spanking, overstimulation Words: 1,368 Taglist: @jojayke @puphee

Sex with Heeseung was always soft and sweet. Always making sure you were feeling good and taking his time with you. Like yes, you loved the sweet and soft sex with him but, you wanted something but rough. You wanted Heeseung to rearrange your insides, make you scream his name, make you a shaking and sobbing mess under him. You had a trick up your sleeve in order to do that…. tease him until he couldn’t take it anymore.

Heeseung was at work while you were lying on your bed, scrolling through your phone. The moment you woke up that morning, you were horny. It didn’t help that Heeseung made you cum so hard the night before, clutching the bed sheets under you. You wanted more that morning but unfortunately, Heeseung needed to go to work, making you pout.

It didn’t help that Heeseung had to wear a suit, since he had an important meeting he needed to attend. Seeing him wearing a suit didn’t help your horniness, and you hated it. How were you supposed to wait until Heeseung finished his meeting? 

You sat at the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but a black choker. You looked at yourself in the mirror, opening the camera on your phone. You held your cock in your hand, pressing the camera button, taking a picture. You took a few more, even taking a video of you pumping your cock, cum leaking out of your tip as you groan quietly.

You sent them to Heeseung, waiting for his response. You laid down on the bed, your feet dangling over the edge. Not even 5 minutes later, your phone pinged, meaning that you got a response from Heeseung. You picked up your phone, staring at the screen in front of you. You smirked as you saw his response.

Hee<3: Babe, I’m in an important meeting so please don’t tease me right now, ok?

You see, if it was any other situation, you would have listened and stopped what you were doing but your mission was to piss him off so instead, you sent more pictures, and a video of you moaning Heeseung’s name.

y/n<3: please daddy, I need you 🥺

Heeseung replied back immediately, and you were pleased that you had successfully pissed him off, smiling to yourself. You waited for him to come home, not caring about being told to wait for Heeseung to come home, touching yourself.

You threw your head back against the pillows, moaning loudly as you pumped your cock in your hand. You soon came, cum coating your abdomen and stomach. Due to your loud moans, you didn’t hear the front door open and close, footsteps coming up the stairs. 

The bedroom door opened, revealing an annoyed Heeseung. His tie was loose,the first few buttons untied. Heeseung made his way to the bed, climbing on top of you. You looked up at him with mischievous eyes, a little smirk on your face. “Hi daddy”, you said innocently, biting your bottom lip.

“You really are a disobedient little slut, aren’t you? Teasing me knowing that I’m in an important meeting, ignoring the things I said and continuing to tease me by sending pictures and videos”, he said, annoyance evident in his voice. 

He gripped the base of your cock, twisting his hand around it. You groaned, closing your eyes as Heeseung pumped your cock in his hand, teasing your slit with his thumb. He didn’t stop pumping your cock, cum coating his hand, as well as your stomach and his dress pants, not that he cared.

Heeseung’s dress pants felt tight, his hard cock aching in his boxers. He took his tie off, using it to tie your hands together. He began unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, taking it off and throwing it to the side. 

You watched as Heeseung stripped himself naked, his cock hitting his stomach, leaking with precum. He climbed on top of you with a smirk, his eyes filled with lust. He grabbed your legs, pushing them up towards your chest. He didn’t give you a chance to prepare before grabbing his cock, putting it in you.

You moaned loudly, Heeseung thrusting in and out of you roughly. He groaned, digging his nails into your legs. Tears welled up in your eyes from the pleasure you were feeling, your mouth wide open as you continued to let out moans and whimpers.

“Are you crying? Awww, but you asked for this, didn’t you? What a pathetic little pup”, Heeseung said, his words making it harder for you to not cum in that very moment. 

You felt Heeseung twitch inside you, meaning he was near his orgasm. Your whimpers got more high pitched and louder, wanting to cum. “You going to cum, baby? Go on, be a good boy for me and cum”, Heeseung said, letting you cum. You came all over your stomach, coating your lower abdomen. Heeseung soon pulled out of you, pumping his cock and came all over your legs, closing his eyes and biting his lip as he did so.

You were a shaking mess, tear stained cheeks and sweat covering your whole body, but Heeseung wasn’t done with you yet. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flipping you onto your back as you let out a yelp.

He grabbed your ass, squeezing the flesh before spanking it, making you fall forward. He did it a couple more times, earning a moan from you after every single hit. Without warning, he put his cock in you again, making you scrunch your eyes shut. 

“What, am I too big for you? You weren’t complaining before though. Now take it like the good boy that you are”, he said, making you bite your lip to suppress a moan, “unless you want me to stop”, he added on, about to take his cock out of your ass.

“No please, I need your cock in me”, you begged, sounding so helpless. He thrusted into you, hard, making you fall forwards. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, he pulled you up against him, your back to his front. 

He turned you towards the mirror, making you watch as he fucked into you from behind. “Look at how pathetic you look right now. Only I can make you a mess like this, moaning and begging for my cock. You look so pretty”, Heeseung said into your ear, biting your ear lobe. He continued thrusting into you from behind, trailing a hand down to grab your cock.

You threw your head back against Heeseung’s shoulder, feeling your legs about to buckle underneath you. You were glad that Heeseung was holding you because otherwise you would have fallen forward.

Heeseung attached his lips to your neck, sucking harshly, leaving dark spots all over your skin. He wrapped a hand around your throat, applying pressure to it, making you feel lightheaded and let out a whimper.

“Heeseung I’m gonna cum, ah”, you managed to say between moans, your cock twitched in his hand. He pumped in a few more times before you came all over it, coating his hand with your arousal. Heeseung soon came not long after you, cum dripping down the back of your leg.

Heeseung pulled out of you, placing you back down on the bed. He cleaned himself up first before taking care of you. He untied the tie from around your wrists, kissing your wrists gently. 

He took care of you gently, making sure he kissed every spot he was rough with, taking extra care of you. Aftercare with Heeseung was always so gentle and sweet, you loved it. After you were clean and dressed in comfy pyjamas, you got under the covers with Heeseung lying next to you.

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425 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

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[crymea-river]

4/26/2024

leap years are for remembering

god sometimes i read the things i used to write on here or even in my old journals and i cringe (for lack of a better word) at how seriously i was taking things. this page is such a time capsule. i love it, im glad ive documented my feelings over the years but it makes me feel… weird. nostalgia is so interesting.

im having a really good and also strange time with (what i assume is) my adult brain. good bc i can trust my judgement better than i have ever been able to; things just make sense in an innate way now, a way that i struggle describe. strange bc i feel like i know myself less than i ever have but also way more than i ever have at the same time ? im the same person i was at 11 and 12 and 13 and 17 and 18 and 22, and its so crazy to me how different all these ages felt but theyre all me. they didnt really go anywhere, theyre all still inside me. i remember being 22 and still feeling relatively connected to my high-school-self but then just 2 years later i felt decades removed from her. and now i feel decades removed from my 22-year-old-self. the way i would reminisce on 2016 in 2020 is how im reminiscing on 2020 now. lol leap years are for remembering, i guess.

ive found myself reverting back to a lot of things i used to do and enjoy in adolescence. lots of silly topical things, like using pantene instead of all these expensive hair products ive tried over the years. i loved the way it made my hair smell back then and it made it so soft and who cares if it coats my hair in silicon or whatever ill just clarify it every few weeks itll be fine. im also finally letting myself enjoy things from back then that i was afraid to fully embrace for fear of being judged. thats a Huge fun part about getting older i’ve noticed, not caring what others think. id have told you back then that i didnt care about that, and on the surface i didnt. but it would get to me to some degree. i think my music taste from back then is a prime example of that (im not gonna elaborate i know what i mean).

i hope im making 11 and 12 and 13 year old me proud. and i want to tell 16 and 17 and 18 AND 19 year old me it gets better, but also to stop taking such trivial things so seriously maybe. life does not revolve around having a boyfriend (or whatever youd call those fuckers from back then). itll happen when its meant to and it will be so worth it. no one knows what they want at those ages. i barely knew what i wanted until it fell into my lap to be honest, and that only happened after i stopped yearning so hard for that shit and began TRULY enjoying my own company (and my friends’ obviously. love them). this is not where i wanted to go with this, i didnt want to talk about men. i think thats what cringes me out so bad about my old posts/entries, theyre allllllll (mostly) about bOyS. which was age appropriate i GUESS but idk it just brought me so much unnecessary stress lol. i learned eventually, and im glad i did so when i did.

all this to say im very happy. and peaceful. and i love the people i have surrounded myself with. i love being in love and i cannot describe in actual english words how thrilled i am that its with will. even 4 years into it.

being 26 is just so strange i think

[outofcontexturi]

sun 26th feb 2023 journal

today has been one of those days. I’ve ever never seen my dad break down like he did today. I’ve just had a difficult time this whole week and I think yesterday I made the mistake of billing it in my yard😂 much to my sisters disapproval so she basically told my dad to talk to me and we spoke this morning and everything was fine until he mentioned that he’d like me and my sister to have a conversation. She said she was around the corner and pulled up to the house. It started off well then went left. You know when you can feel the tension between two people and you’re just stuck in the middle of it? that’s what today was 😂 and I couldn’t help but think “I’m the reason why we’re all here and now I’m the reason why you’re both arguing” it was actually one of the worst confrontations ive witnessed. I just felt like I shouldn’t have been privy to what I heard but it’s whatever now I heard what I heard and I cannot change that. I think this experience has made me stronger though. It’s one of those solid reality checks that I needed. I did manage to come to an understanding with my sister too. I didn’t realise how much she cares about me. Even on the days that I don’t care about myself but my God if there’s one person I know that cares about me it’s her and I’m glad I know now. I’ve gone a lot of my life thinking otherwise because of her tone she uses which I admit could be better but she does care which is what matters. I feel better though. I feel relaxed. Im hoping to get an early night in cause tomorrow will be a productive day and I want to have the best energy available to me! I’ve cried. I’ve eaten. I’ve slept. I’ve survived the hardest part of today and that’s what matters. I forget how strong I am. But I’m strong. I’ve made it this far. I just need to push harder. I’m doing just fine. I’m on the right path. Amen. It’s 22:01pm. I’m watching the lakers game. I’m gonna get ready for bed. I’m a very blessed guy. The worst thing about myself is that I don’t always recognise the blessing but I do have a lot of blessings in my life. I’m glad life reminded me that God is real and that my life is a blessing. Amen. Signing out! Love ❤️.

Sign out time: 22:03pm

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[waatermelon-sugaar]

The Rules of Sabacc

Pairing = Poe x gn!reader

Words = 1.2k

Summary = You and Poe fight kiss over a game of Sabacc

Warnings = Insinuation of sex, gambling

A/N = Prompt no.39 requested by @poedameronloverx​ as part of my 300 follower celebration, thanks so much, hope you like it! Prompt was “Just kiss already, we all know the world wants you two together!” w/ Poe  and bolded in text

I read the rules for sabacc multiple times so i could try and describe it but im sorry i do not understand this game - as far as I understand it’s a bit like Blackjack? Just to 23? And make in space?

Posted to AO3

Masterlist 

***

Sometimes Poe really got on your nerves.

Like now. Why did he really feel the need to challenge this? You’d put your cards down in a flourish, to the combined groans of Rose and Finn, while Rey had sat this round out, having lost all her chips in the last round.

Finn had put his cards down first, causing you all to stare at him. “Minus?” You didn’t mean to make Finn feel bad, but- “How do you get a minus score in this game?”

“Finn that’s basically impossible.” Rey’s poking through Finn’s cards, trying to understand how he got to that point. Finn just gives her the finger and you all laugh. Rey’s not exactly in a position to criticise, bombing out the second and third rounds and losing all her chips, having got too cocky after the first round.  

Rose is next, with a perfectly reasonable score of 16, Poe had 22, and you’d waited to put your cards down last with an unnecessary flourish and a huge grin. “Read ‘em and weep, Dameron,” you flashed a grin at him. “23, bang on.”

There had already been debates (read: arguments) springing up during the previous rounds, but now you and Poe were drawing with 2 wins each, and this one was to be the decider.

The 5 of you had planned to play sabacc after Poe had made the bold declaration that “he was the best at sabacc.” That had inevitably sparked protests, with you and Rey arguing that no-one could claim to be the best; it was a game of luck and skill - impossible to predict.

But of course Poe couldn’t just take your word for it, instead leaning forward to- “Stop poking your grubby fingers at my cards!”

“I’m just double-checking!” He protests, still checking, and mentally counting, you could see it behind his eyes. “I’m not saying you did it on purpose, but everyone can miscount!”

In retaliation, you move towards him, hand threading through his curls, ruffling it up, one advantage to knowing all his weak spots. Normally your hand is in his hair brings him comfort and he’ll lean towards you, keen for more, but not today.

Immediately, his upper body is recoiling, leaning closer to Finn to get away from you, even as you follow him, like the two of you are tied together. Sometimes you spend enough time together that it feels like you are.

And Poe’s mock-horrified gasp is kind of adorable, even if he is far too protective of his hair.

You let out a huff, aware he is overreacting for the sake of your friends, and you suddenly notice Rey with a look in her eyes. A look that says she knows far more than you think she has any right to.

So you add a bit of bite when you speak, leaning over to where Poe’s cards are lying. “Oh grow up Poe. Your hair will survive … and more importantly my cards beat yours!” You spread his cards out in order to see them better, quickly adding up his points. “Look! Count your Flasks, and then if you add Balance, which is minus 11, you’ve got 22, and I’ve got 23 because the Ace is 0 - you know I’m right!”

Poe draws himself up, squaring up to you, your faces coming dangerously close considering you’re in public. You want to quirk your eyebrow at him, ask him what he thinks he’s doing, because all your friends are right there, and they don’t know you're dating yet, the two of you preferring to keep your relationship under wraps until you’d both figured out what you wanted for your futures.

But you don’t, because your friends are right there, and Rey is starting to smirk in your periphery, and you suddenly think that the two of you might not be as good at hiding your relationship as you think you are.

You allow yourself a second, while you remember how you and Poe had even ended up together, wandering the halls after a particularly dangerous mission, neither of you ready to say goodbye, wanting reassurance that there was someone out there who was also alive, who knew what you’d both gone through.

Before you knew it, you’d been wandering around empty hallways holding hands for hours.

And then you were standing in front of your room, and Poe didn't want to go, not letting go of you, and you didn’t want him too, but both of you feeling the pressure of expectation now he was at your door.

So instead of sending him away, which you probably should have done, you’d invited him in, and you’d cuddled all night long, finding the steady reassurance of another person more grounding than anything else.

And when you’d woken in the morning, limbs tangled and eyes heavy, you’d kissed, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ever since, it had been almost impossible to quash Poe’s enthusiasm. It had been his idea to keep it a secret for the first few months, out of worry what everyone else would think, and not wanting other people’s expectations to affect how the two of you behaved.

It was precious and delicate, this thing the two of you were nurturing, and neither of you wanted it to break. Just let it grow a little, grow a little stronger, a little better, a little tougher, before you introduced it to this hard, cruel galaxy.

However, despite Poe’s idea for secrecy, he was insatiable, hand sneaking around your back when he thought he could get away with it, pulling you to one side after a brief so he could sneak a kiss, and once, comming you to come to his x-wing ‘for an emergency’, only for you to get there and find out he wanted to tell you about his biggest fantasy.

You’d do it again.

You're broken out of your memories by Rose. “Just kiss already, we all know the world wants you two together!”

You turn your head, confused and a little worried she’d managed to figure it out. You manage to get out half a word, a strangled, “What-?”

But then Poe’s hand is on your chin, guiding you back to face him, soft and light enough that you could turn away if you wanted to. You don’t resist, your head turning back to him, and watching as his eyes close in clear invitation.

You take half a beat, aware that your friends are watching in anticipation, but also Poe’s eyelashes are so long, resting on his cheeks like that, and maybe he’s right to be vain about his hair, he’s so cute-

And then you’re leaning in, your impulse control vanishing, and all you can think is that you’ll give the others a show and a half.

You do, because automatically, Poe’s hands are on your waist, yours in his hair, moaning, and tugging each other closer. Dimly, you’re aware that your friends are simultaneously both aghast and cheering, but you only pull away when Poe tries to slip you the tongue.

That man has less self control than you do. But you don't need to give your friends that much of a show.

You’re looking at him for a second, your faces still too close to each other, and suddenly you really, really want to kiss him again. You close your eyes and lean towards him again, when Finn puts his hand on your shoulder, clearing his throat, and pulling you away.

“Well,” Rey looks far too pleased with herself, and you suddenly register that she’s slipping credits she didn’t previously have into her pocket, while Rose’s stash looks significantly smaller. “I’m glad you two have got that out of the way.”

***

Thanks for reading! Reblogs and comments mean the world to me 🥰🥰🥰

Tags: @fantasticcopeaglepasta​

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

kisses and cuddles

wooooooooo time for some more fluffy shit yall i loved making this so much this sorta relted to my weed garden fic but you dont need to read it (be cool tho)

Ruby was sitting in the cafeteria with Oscar and penny she was too tired to pay attention to what the two were talking about penny sitting across from her and Oscar was excitedly talking about something while Oscar liens looking interested she’s unsure how he’s so put together they were both up late hanging out dreading comics and it’s only 7 am she leaned on Oscar and closed her eyes hoping to get a little more sleep before She had to do missions she had a relatively short one today only a search and destroy so maybe she could get home fast and take a nap Oscar nudged her shoulder and she lifted her head “hey don’t fall asleep if you don’t eat you’ll be grumpy” he says she fakes a pout and starts eating the gross cafeteria food she assumed that atlas food would be good sense it’s so many rich folks but no she’s actually had  better tasting mres or maybe she was just getting spoiled eating Oscar and rens cooking “ruby why are you so tired did you have trouble sleeping” penny says drawing circles on the table with her finger “no me and Oscar were up late last night and I only slept like three hours“ penny frowns “while I am happy you and Oscar are spending time together you require at least 6 hours of sleep for maximum field efficiency” ruby just nods “so why don’t you seem tired Oscar you couldn’t of slept anymore than I did” she says with a yawn he shrugs and says  “I guess I’m used to it I had to wake up early back home so I always didn’t get a bunch of sleep” penny raises a finger “actually according to my scans  Oscars brain is only running at 89% efficiency and his hear rate is faster from his normal 48 beats per minute to to 51 it is likely that he simply better at hiding his tiredness” Oscar slumps “penny do have everyone’s heart rates memorized” he says exasperated “yes I also have all of your medical charts on file and criminal records why” he raises a brow “criminal record?” Penny nods “yes several of your team have criminal records qrow having the longest with 22 counts of public intoxication as well as 3 of public indecency and” ruby raises her hands “trust me you don’t wanna know the rest they had to make a new law for one of the things he did but who else has charges?” she tries to wake herself with conversation and it sorta works she also learns some new and unsettling things about her friends but eventually breakfast ends and she starts to get her gear ready she’s loading rounds into one of crescent roses magazine when someone knocks on the door to her locker room “it’s open” she calls out and incomes  Oscar he’s holding a small Tupperware box and a small metal tumbler “hey I wanted to give this to you before you go” he says with a sheepish grin he sets the box next to her and hands her the tumbler it’s warm and smells good “it’s coffee, don’t worry I added way too much sugar for you and the other thing is a surprise you said you don’t eat a lot on missions so I made it for you it’s a bit of an experiment so tell me if it’s bad” she’s grinning ear to ear and stands up from her weapon bench and hugs him “you are the best and I’m sure it’ll be great” she gives him a kiss on the cheek she’s been slowly trying to work her way up to kissing him on the lips but nose and cheek kisses were enough for her he smiles and his cheeks get all rosey  and he hugs her back and says “be careful ok sorry I know you can take care of yourself but just you know“ she squeezes him a little “yeah don’t worry I know  I’ll be careful and when I get back we are so taking a nap mister I’m not that tired” he giggles and looks up at her with a smile  “you won’t hear me complain and uh before you go could I uh kiss you like um on the lips” he says nervously she leans down pressing her forehead to his and smiles she smells his breath it smells like chocolate and coffee she feels her cheeks heat up to match his and says “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now are you sure you want to ” he nods his head wordlessly she takes his hand and gently presses her lips to his its short and maybe a little clumsy but it makes her heart soar when she breaks the kiss Oscars breath shakes slightly  and a little panic starts to fill her did she mess it up did he hate it and then he smiles and it all fades away “that was really nice” he says rubbing her knuckle with his thumb then there’s a knock on the door frame she looks up and weiss and Blake are standing there weiss looks annoyed and Blake is grinning “time to go ruby morning Oscar” wiess says already turning to walk away ruby quickly gathers crescent rose and Oscars gifts and says “bye Oscar I’ll be careful byeee” and dashed out the door behind the others Blake nudges her shoulder “your lucky I made weiss wait  ,god you two are adorable” ruby squeaks “will you stop spying on us”  “we weren’t spying you two dolts left the door open” weiss says annoyed 

 The mission was boring as she thought it was gonna be how normal soldiers couldn’t handle this she’ll never know on the airship ride home she opens   the box Oscar gave to her a note on top says “have a great day and stay safe” she smiles at the note and sticks it in her ammo pocket  it looks like a brownie is some kind and yang leans over and says “where did you get that”

“Oscar made it for me” she says taking it out of the container it smells like a peanut butter protein bar “ooo come on share with me pleassss” yang says putting her hands together “ugh your lucky I’m a good sister” she breaks off a small piece and hands it to yang and takes a bite of her own and it’s amazing it Taste like a peanut butter brownie but somehow better it’s somehow not dried out or crumbly yang seems to have a similar opinion “god if you don’t marry Oscar i will his food is too good”yang says with a laugh  she kicks yang in the leg “I know right I can barely eat the cafeteria food anymore” her and yang chat a bit about food until they finally land Oscar is standing on the landing pad waiting for her she bounce on her heels excitedly despite how tired she is when the door finally opens she rushes out to hug him “how did it go” he asks wrapping his arms around her shoulders “oh it was easy but soooo boring I don’t know why they asked us to do it” she says leaning into him he chuckles “well I’m glad it wasn’t dangerous at least did you like it” he asks sheepishly she puts her head on his “yeees brothers it was great what was it” he unwraps his arms and looks at her “there’s no name for it yet but it’s kinda like a protein brownie was it too grainy or anything what about the after taste” he asks “I didn't even realize it was supposed to be healthy” she puts her hands on his shoulders “Oscar I’m gonna need more of that” he smiles “happy to make some more tonight” he says proudly yang walks past and ruffles his hair “make sure to make enough for me too kiddo” and walks off “how about that nap ruby my teams still on mission so we should have some time” he says taking her hand “yes please” 

They walk back to team alpns dorm room after ruby changes into something more casual Oscar was already wearing his normal clothing he sits on his bed and smiles “I’m gonna get to have two naps today” she sits down next to him and throws her arm around him "you and your team  sure like your naps huh" he smiles as they lie back on his bed "honestly who doesn't like naps I never use to be a huge cuddler but it’s nice to have someone close to you, you know” they lie back Oscar resting his head on rubies shoulder “well I do  wish my team took naps together sometimes yang is a big cuddler too but Weiss  doesn’t like being warm and Blake can’t sit still even so less than you” he snorts as he takes her hand running his thumbs along her knuckles  “well I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind you joining our naps if have to ask but i'll warn you ren sits up in his sleep  Jaune snores and i talk in my sleep” she raises an eyebrow “you didn't last time” she says “that's cause we were smoking  but if i take a nap or if im really tired you can actually talk and I'll talk back” she grins “well what do you talk about”  he rests his head on her chest “usually about my aunt or all yall but Nora has told me i say lots of stuff about you if i'm asked” he says his cheeks getting just a tiny bit rosy she grins and plants a kiss on his nose “well i hope i get the chance to ask but i'll probably fall asleep first im super tired” she rolls over and wraps herself around him oscar adjusting to lay on her arm pulling a blanket over them "well if you can get me to talk I'll answer any question just nothing to embarrassing please" he says  “i would like to know what you have to say tho so maybe i'll try to hold out just a bit longer” she says closing her eyes as oscar lets out his relaxed sigh about half of Oscars communication was nonverbal she liked to mentally catalog the things he does when he relaxes he lets out a long almost high pitched sigh it makes her happy to hear that and it helps her relax her thoughts starts to get fuzzy as sleep takes her she wakes up a few hours later laying on her back oscar laying on top of her them both having wrapped around each other she hears quiet murmurs  coming from him to quiet to understand "Oscar are you still asleep" she whispers no response "Oscar are you comfy" he nods his head "of course I'm comfy I'm cuddling with ruby" she snickers he was definitely still asleep "who's the coolest person you know" she she's "ruby for sure she's so good at fighting and everyone trusts her I wish I was more like her" she runs her hand through his hair "how do you feel about ruby " she asked "I'm in love with her she makes me feel strong and weak at the same time when she's with me I feel like I'm safe and that we could do anything together i want to be with her forever" she's crying now "oh shit I didn't expect him to be that honest" she thinks as tears run down her face "I love you too Oscar"     she kisses the top of his head “you know i never used to want like romantic stuff and all the fluffy garbage i just wanted to be a huntress and fight grim stuff like that but you  make me want that stuff i wanna take you on dates and like hold your hand and stuff there are a bunch of things i wanna do like” she pauses resting her head on his “i forgot you were asleep for a second i'm starting to embarrass myself i do love you tho i dont know when your supposed to say that we've only been i guess dating for what 2 and a half weeks my dad always joked that huntsmen relationships move really fast nothing like holy shit we might die to move a relationship forward right but you make me feel like i don't know amazing and I love being with you you make all my worries disappear even if it's only for a little bit and i'm rambling and your not talking back” oscar lifts his head “its cause im awake and i love it when you ramble” she feels her face light on fire “w-what when did you wake up” he hums happily “around we might die  i think it was nice that stuff you said you can ramble longer if you want what that new gun you saw in that magazine” she smiles “it's a roller delayed blowback sniper rifle its a smaller caliber than crescent rose but it has a longer effective range because of the way the bore is shaped i prefer bolt actions to semi automatics for a long range rifle semi autos have there merits and stuff it's a lot lighter than crescent rose as well on account of it not also being a giant scythe you know i was thinking about carrying a pistol too crescent rose is great but shes heavy and she's also really hard to conceal  even when shes folded speaking of i need to clean her gears a bunch of dust got in them today you said you wanted to learn weapon maintenance i could teach you today if you want” “sure i can learn there's a lot of things oz knows but it's like a big library without a librarian its all jumbled up” she scratches the back of his neck “well i do not understand the dewey decimal system but i'm happy to help” they both giggle at her joke ruby keeps rambling until the rest of team alpn return 

Oscar is walking ruby back to her dorm they come to her door and they turn to face each other and oscar rubs his hands together “so ruby uh I got permission with ironwood to leave school grounds as long as someone's with me so I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out like on a date” she smiles and puts her arms around his shoulders “sounds amazing sweetie I’m free this weekend where do you want to go” he blushes and says “well I actually have something in mind but I wanna keep it a surprise if that’s ok” she kisses him on the cheek “of course casual clothes or should i dress nice” he shakes his head “i mean it's really up to you but were not going somewhere fancy just a place I think you'll like" she smiles and kisses his nose and he leans up a little so there lips are level "can i kiss you again" he asks just above a whisper her pressing her lips gently against his is her answer they  hold the kiss for a few moments Oscars hands drifting to ruby's waist when they separate  she says "i think we're getting pretty good at that" Oscar smiles avoiding her eyes "yeah um It's certainly enjoyable" they break the hug "I'll see you in the morning I'll make that stuff you like ok" he says "yes awesome you're the best Oscar good night" she says as she slips into her from her teammates giving her knowing smirks 

[capseycartwright]

an ode to the conversations i could only ever have with you -

- long time no see, i breathe, and somehow you look the same as you did that day we waved goodbye, not realising it would take three years for life to allow us to be together again. you’re a little older now, and i am too, but your smile is so familiar and the way you wrap your arms around my shoulders and hug me close is the same as it always was.

- im so glad nothing ever changes, we agree - because it’s been three years and we picked up right where we left off three years ago, like nothing ever changed, and maybe the world is a different place now and we’re different people but the one certainty of life is that no matter the time between visits, no matter the distance - nothing ever changes. you hug me the same way you did three years ago and we tell the same stupid jokes and you are both my certainty in the midst of stormy seas.

- you’re underselling yourself, you say - not harshly, no, but with the conviction of someone who’s seen me self destruct for years now, and wants better for me, wants more for me than i have ever wanted for myself.

- you’re beautiful, you say - and it’s simple, but you say it so sincerely that it means more than any time i have ever heard those words before.

- I love you, you remind - platonically, of course, because of all the things we are in this life, in love is not one of them: you love me the way I used to think my brothers always would, honestly and fiercely and with no expectations. I’d call you a brother but somehow it feels like our connection is deeper than that; you’re family, to me, that much is clear.

- I tell you, finally, all the ways I ruined it with a boy who could have loved me, all those years ago now, and you give me a painfully honest look of disappointment; because you know as well as I do that life could have been so different if only I believed in myself.

- I love you, you reassure, and I love you both too - truly and deeply and in ways I never would have imagined when I first met you, barely 22 and so unaware that the greatest loves of my life could be platonic, would be platonic.

- you don’t have to work on yourself, you stress - you need to believe in yourself, the same way you both have always believed in who i am and what i have to offer the world.

- I don’t love you that way, you remind me, and it doesn’t hurt the way it might have years ago - because I don’t love you that way either. but someone will, you stress - someone would be lucky to love you, for the person i am; to love me for the person you love and have loved for so many years now and who will love me in ways you can’t even begin to comprehend. and god - i can’t tell you how lucky someone will be to love you, forever, because they broke the mould when they made you both - and for now, i get to reap the benefits of the kindness and love and impeccable manners. and one day someone else will be on the receiving end of all the love you’ve got to give and i’ll step back and watch on happily, proudly.

- i’m not an emotional person, you reiterate to us - and then you tell me how you love me and how you’ll always love me and how you never had siblings until we came along and you understand what that love means now, because of us. I’m not an emotional guy, you remind - but you love me, more than I think anyone has loved me before and you want me to be happy and you want me to see in myself what you both see in me (and I don’t see what you see - but you tell me, explicitly, this time, that you see kindness and strength and fun and laughter and god, how lucky are we to love each other with no expectation or want; just love, pure and uninhibited and without expectation of anything in return other than the same love in return)

- i love you both. i love you the same way i did when we studied together and our world was condensed down to assignments and tutorials and parties and the latest breakups and makeups. i love you the same - and i love you differently, now, more deeply, because our friendship has survived and thrived despite the hardest times of our lives. i love you differently and i love you both the same way i did back then - my love has only ever grown and matured.

- (and maybe i don’t get to keep you both like this forever - but i am forever changed by the way you love me. i hope you know that.)

- i love you both - in ways i don’t know how to describe, honestly. i just know it’s the love they write poetry about and start wars for.

- it’s been a really shitty three years, we agree. but despite, despite - we’re here, together. and it doesn’t feel like it’s been three years, and that’s all that’s ever going to matter.

[hajimesh]

prompt list

(angst, soft, smut & random)

[ angsty prompts ]

1. “do you ever mean the things you say?”

2. “come back to me.”

3. “you really are an awful person.”

4. “you need to leave.”

5. “there was never an us.”

6. “i fucked up.”

7. “i’m so, so sorry.”

8. “leave me alone.”

9. “you’re not leaving, are you?”

10. “please look at me.”

11. “is s/he really just a friend?”

12. “i’m sorry but i don’t feel the same way.”

13. “did you think i wouldn’t find out?”

14. “do you even care anymore?”

15. “you don’t really think i’m getting annoying, do you?”

16. “as the saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”

17. “he wanted to take a break, but that meant it was all over.”

18. “she kept it to herself. she didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her.”

19. “i knew it was too good to be true.”

20. “you can’t let him get away with it this time.”

21. “i can’t hide the way i feel about you anymore.”

22. “he’s so paranoid, i can’t do anything by myself anymore.”

23. “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

24. “every song reminds me of you.”

25. “i can’t stand seeing you like this.”

26. “don’t shut me out.”

27. “just promise to never lie to me, okay?”

28. “somethings are just better as memories.”

[ soft prompts ]

1. “you look exhausted, come here”

2. “not everyone is going to hurt you.”

3. “can i hug you?”

4. “you know i have feelings for you.”

5. “i wish you were here.”

6. “it’s too cold! come back!”

7. “monsters inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”

8. “i’m not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.”

9. “just pretend to be my date.”

10. “i didn’t get soaked wet walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. i have beer too. i know you’re sad, so let me in.”

11. “your cuteness is making everyone stare. stop it.”

12. “you make me proud. you know that, right?”

13. “you’re so damn beautiful, baby. i can’t believe you’re all fucking mine.”

14. “i know you’re mad at me but will a kiss change your mind?”

15. “god, i miss you so much.”

16. “i’m only doing it because you’re cute.”

17. “even when you’re annoying the fuck out of me, i still love you.”

18. "i love you even when you're sleepless and frustrated."

19. “can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

20. “you’re so clingy, i love it.”

21. “you’re cute when you’re all worried.”

22. “can i do your hair?”

23. “why do you only kiss me when i’m sleeping?”

24. “nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.”

25. “excuse me for falling in love with you.”

26. “i’m sorry, but that was adorable.”

27. “i’m glad you’re mine.”

[ smutty prompts ]

1. “what? does that feel good?”

2. “c’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

3. “did i stutter?”

4. “the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

5. “just let me finish this/this level and i swear i’ll go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

6. “i’d hold onto something if i were you.”

7. “try not to ruin your manicure when you dig those nails into my back.”

8. “i’m going to remeber this moment when i’m jerking off later.”

9. “you’re too flexible for your own good.”

10. “let’s fuck in the shower so it feels like we’re kissing in the rain.”

11. “if you keep fucking me this good, i’ll marry you.”

12. “we’re the sexiest couple i’ve ever seen.”

13. “you’re the reason i smile so wide and come so hard.”

14. “could he make you feel as good as i do?”

15. “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

16. “is that a gun on your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

17. “god damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

18. “if i have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

19. “it’s not polite to stare, but i understand.”

20. “i love how your body loses control when you cum.”

21. “i’m bored. come over and sit on my dick.”

22. “why did you wear underwear, when you know im going to tear it off anyway?”

23. “im going to be late because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

24. “can i at least take my shoes off before u pounce at me?”

25. “no, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

26. “would you prefer my tongue or my cock?”

27. “dammit, we made a mess.”

28. “were you dreaming about me again?”

29. “well good morning to you too.”

[ random prompts ]

1. “have i entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

2. “let’s be annoyingly cute.”

3. “in this exact moment, i love my bed more than you.”

4. “grab my ass one more time and see what happens.”

5. “would you still date me if i dressed up as a cow for halloween?”

6. “these are not regular brownies!”

7. “he hates me. everytime i speak, he looks at me like i’m stupid.”

8. “i’m too sober for this.”

9. “the ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

10. “good thing i didn’t ask for your opinion.”

11. “why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

12. “you work for me. you are my slave.”

13. “just smile, i really need to see you smile right now.”

14. “i had a bad dream again.”

15. “it’s a zombie, not an alien. know the difference.”

16. “you’re so cute when you’re upset.”

17. “waffles or pancakes? or wine? oh..or beer?”

18. “it’s almost midnight and you haven’t said anything cute at all.”

19. “do you always look at me like that?”

20. “what would you do if you never met me?”

21. “i should've stayed in bed.”

22. “picnics are for losers.”

23. “bed. now.”

24. “are you asking me out?”

25. “i may be an idiot, but i’m not stupid.”

26. “i just like proving you wrong.”

27. “we’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

28. “you know you want it, sweetheart.”

29. “you got a cute butt.”

30. “...or we can chill in our underwear.”

31. “he’s pampering me, let him be.”

32. “don’t touch me. we’re fighting.”

33. “i’ll give you a massage.”

34. “hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

35. “it’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!”

36. “you know when your phone buzzes, it means i’m trying to talk to you, right?”

37. “when’s that last time we went on a date?”

38. “i thought you didn’t like cats?”

39. “i had a dream about you.”

40. “pick up lines only work when i’m drunk.”

41. “but, i said i love you.”

42. “we could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.”

43. “you’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?”

44. “…or we could make out….”

45. “i warned you. he warned you. your freaking mom warned you.”

46. “sit still, for the love of all that is holy.”

47. “can you be romantic for once?”

48. “you don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.”

49. “are you high?”

50. “ew ew ew. you’re so gross.”

51. “step aside and watch a pro.”

52. “i’m a lucky girl. i’ll admit that.”

[thepringlesofblood]

i just gotta

so

im watching fantasy high s2 on dropout right? binging it over a month so i only have to pay 5$?

the beginning of episode 6 (pirate brawl) is without a doubt the most secondhand embarrassment i have felt in my entire life OW that shit dealt me 8d10 psychic damage holy shit

other highlights (*spoilers obvs*)

every single pirate name including but not limited to

old young benjamin

chungle-down bim (short for bimothy)

creaky mcbarrel

*a bunch of pirates chanting around fabian* RELIVE YOUR TRAUMA! RELIVE YOUR TRAUMA!

fabian for once in his life being completely honest with the warlocks and it not being enough OWWWWW

“this is worse than the ribbon dance”

lou, desperately holding back laughter: “Alright, follow me! We’re gonna jump on ‘em, and we’re gonna murder ‘em!”

“Are you laughing about how you’re about to die?”

the hangvan: “old skull and bones just skoodalooded outta here pretty toasty”

gorgug:

“can I slap him to see if anything magical jostles inside him?” WHY

*mumbles in new englander* itsnotaropeitsalinewhenitsonaship

brennan, zac, emily, I need you to know that that is NOT how ropes work in ANY circumstance

22 rounds of combat.........god.

I WILL PAY FOR ALL YOUR SPELLS!!! I HAVE UNLIMITED MONEY!!!!

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY FRIENDS????

I had the thought at some point during the fight on the crow’s nest*: “oh, this fight is Fabian’s Battle of Fort Necessity” (Washington’s first battle as commander, when he was a complete novice, resulting in the slaughter of his troops and a disastrous surrender that helped spark a whole ass war)

the revenge of chungle-down bim!!!

brian taking his glasses off over and over as more terrible things happen - I’ve legit never seen him w/out glasses before it is frightening

the energy around the table as everyone’s extremely cool and helpful abilities are just rendered null and void to help them save fabian was. horrifying. the tension was unbearable it felt like the same energy as when aguefort shoots mr gibbons then himself but in a less good way omg i seriously had the thought of ‘brennan can you just call this off????? make it better pls?????’ (and obvs that’s not fair, brennan as a DM is amazing and I trust him with this kinda shit, but damn)

fabian’s fucking soft, broken voice when everyone finally gets to him...god.

I genuinely think lou wilson almost had a fuckin mental breakdown in this episode. and for good reason! jesus christ. fabian going 85 mph (mistakes per hour)

the hangman acting like a dog comforting fabian was fucking heartwrenchingly cute and it makes what happens to the hangman later in the night so much worse

legit when they were gettin wasted, my first thought was shouldn’t tracker stay sober enough to cast the moon haven and i forget if it was that or if it was that they all immediately took off to save fabian that made it malfunction but holy shit this is the last thing they needed after all that i’m so so so fucking glad that siobhan rolled 2 nat 20s for her portent rolls bc seeing any of that happen to fig or gorgug would have killed me

Garthy O’Brien has now become officially my favorite npc, I fucking love them. if anything happens to them i will kill everyone in this room and then myself

fabian’s worse nightmare being growing up to be like gilear is a lot more terrifying than it sounds like! in concept it sounds really funny! in execution I was so fucking scared!

me watching fantasy high up until this episode: oh i wonder why everyone wants fabriz to happen i mean theyre friends and all but i just don’t see it

me after this episode: oh...

before this i kept seeing all these fuckin music videos getting recommended to me on youtube titled shit like ‘fabian’s breakdown’ and i was like damn what happened? TO LIVE IN THAT BLISSFUL IGNORANCE ONCE MORE

this has to be the WORST night of fig’s fabian’s riz’s ragh’s any of their lives, including prompocalypse, holy shit it never ends

kalina: isn’t it fucked up that aguefort keeps sending children to do horrifying dangerous things for a grade?

me: YEAH IT IS

props to brennan for making the adults that came on this journey as flawed and fallible as the kids

cathilda didn’t say anything to fabian upon finding him, just got him to safety. i honestly think she’s gonna fuckin snap at some point and she deserves to.

the image of adaine somberly pedaling on her Razor scooter across the fuckin crooked busted wooden planks of leviathan like ratatatatata is such a perfect perfect image to end on

*(due to my tragic backstory as someone who once had the entire hamilton soundtrack memorized)

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.3

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst rating: mature words: 3.5k warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex a/n: im sleepy but hey im also rly glad bts made a statement about the blm movement :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(21) Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

“Yeah, I did, I submitted it on Thursday. What do you mean, did it get a good mark, it’s only Monday.” As you near the front windows of the building, you sigh and stare at the gloomy clouds presented behind the glass. Korea is cold and wet and dark today. “Fuck, rain. Anyway, I’ll call you later, Eunji, okay?”

Eunji agrees and hangs up the phone before you get the chance to, and you’re left in the cool shadow of the largest cloud in the sky. From nine until eleven, you have a morning class on Monday; today, due to request from at least five students confused by the essay title that was due on Friday evening, the class ran for an additional hour and a half, all of the subject material covered with a general extension for the following Fri. Typical, as you rushed it to hand it in before submission.

“Not going home, Y/N?”

You suck your top teeth with disappointment, “Not yet, Professor, I need to make a call.”

The slim professor arrives at your elbow, “Boyfriend?”

“Not really,” you confess. You glance at your phone and find Jeongguk’s number, “but he owes me a few favours here and there, it won’t hurt to bring an umbrella or something.”

“Good luck,” she laughs. She doesn’t offer her umbrella, despite it being tucked under her armpit, and her car is parked in sight close to the windows. At that, she leaves and you send Jeongguk a quick text message. If he’s working presently, the text will annoy him less than a call.

Raining! I’m stuck, can you send some to come and get me?

Jeongguk must be in office, because his reply is speedy. Forget your subway card again?

I never ask for anything, would it hurt you to send someone to get me?

He doesn’t reply for five minutes, and then, Uni, right?

It takes at least fifteen minutes before a vehicle pulls up across the small car-park; it’s a black car, shiny and wet and loud, and you bristle at its entry. Quickly, you hug your coat closer around your body and when you glance back up towards the window, you’re surprised to see Jeongguk himself briskly crossing the lot with an umbrella over his head.

“I’m here to pick up a Y/N L/N, you seen her?” he asks when he reaches the door, smiling as you haul it open and stare at him with happy surprise. “You did not dress for the weather.”

“The app said it would be cloudy,” you huff.

“Baby, it’s January, what did you expect,” Jeongguk sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer to his body. Like this, he walks alongside you towards the car and for a moment, he glances around the complex out the corner of his eye. This University isn’t the dog's bollocks, because as much as he’s willing to help fund you at University, he can’t pay for you to be smarter. You’re pretty happy where you are, not being at a big-name University but doing the exact same degree anyways. He’s happy that you’re happy, but if it were him, he’d probably redecorate the front.

(22) Listening to them while they vent.

When Jeongguk vents, he doesn’t just vent. He never sits you down in front of him and lets it all out, nor does he slink away to therapy, or whining over the phone, or sleepy pillow talk where everything feels safer when you’re seconds away from falling asleep.

Instead, Jeongguk fucks away his problems, and as he does it, you tend to get an earful.

“And,” he grunts, one slap, one thrust, “I fucked it up.” One more. “All of it.” Another groan, a deeper push, “Fuck!”

You like to let him get it all out, and on the plus side, you get what you need which is to relieve the pressure of wanting in your stomach. It’s better when he’s angry, better for both of you, and he’s full of apologies when he’s finished, as if he was yelling at you and not at himself.

“Last time I ever work with Taehyung,” he spits. “Fuck. Ugh.”

You’ll ask him about it later.

(23) Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

One night, you’re over at Jeongguk’s. It’s not unusual that you’re here, especially when you’re here so often that his house feels like your own. From the bathroom, the shower runs loudly and Jeongguk sings, mostly to himself, in the water, meanwhile you dance around his kitchen making tea and bringing it to the bedroom where he’ll come in later when he’s done.

His room is golden and warm, and the curtains are drawn but the thin netting softens the sunset outside. You circle around the end of Jeongguk’s bed and set his cup on the bedside table on his side, closest to the window, when you notice something new sitting in a frame by the lamp. Okay, you’ll bite.

You put down both mugs and in exchange pick up the frame. Something warm bubbles inside your stomach as you look down at the frame; the picture, you’ve never seen before, but it’s of you. You remember the photo being taken in Colmar, the time that Jeongguk came to see you to satisfy his own boredom and need. Never did you imagine it would be a photo he’d print, let alone put in a frame next to his bed. It’s a pretty photo, too, with the river behind you and the sun on your skin, your hair only slightly in your face.

Not a perfect photo, but a pretty one. Jeongguk must like it enough to have printed it.

The shower cuts off in the bathroom and you move quickly, protecting an image of innocence as you put the frame back where it once was, and pick up your mug and place it on your bedside table. You’ve placed Jeongguk’s mug so that he could take it both ways. Maybe he’ll think you didn’t see the frame, or maybe he’ll know you did. He must have put it there for a reason, you think, and then you stop thinking when Jeongguk opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom.

(24) Tracing your names together in the sand.

Jeongguk had a call from Hawaii. It was brief, and you imagine not very pleasant, but he had to go nonetheless. Jeongguk sure as hell wasn’t going to go to Hawaii without you, no matter how dangerous that might be for him. He told you with two hours notice to pack up your shit and meet him at his place. The plane took off three hours later, and Hawaii here you come.

He never liked to be late, or behind schedule, and so the job that needed to be done was done in a record breaking speed. Like always, he’d have some time to kill before needing to flee to avoid the authorities, and when Jeongguk heads back home after the deed is done, he steps into an empty room and his skin runs cold.

“Y/N?” he calls, to no response. He sets down his things and moves around the suite, his eyes darting to every area.

There is a moment where Jeongguk fears for the worst and out of instinct grabs the gun tucked into his belt. He pulls it out in the bedroom but pauses when out of the corner of his eye, he sees a person standing on the beach just outside the window. Jeongguk pauses.

Outside, the sun is warm and burning orange, sinking down into the pretty waves. You could get used to Hawaii, maybe, if you failed at journalism at the end of your degree, or if Jeongguk hurt your feelings enough that you felt living in Korea itself would be too painful to endure.

“Y/N!”

You turn over your shoulder, noticing Jeongguk stepping down from the dunes. He’s still in his suit, a black fit that makes him look slender and tall and absolutely stunning. His hair is still wild and wet and there’s blood on the inside of his blazer, a red that contrasts the white of his shirt. You won’t mention it, because he probably knows already.

“Hey,” you call back.

“It’s- it’s not safe for you to be out here on your own,” he explains, finally by your side. “Fuck, I was worried you’d been kidnapped, or something.”

“Oh, sorry,” you reply. “The sunset was just too pretty.”

Jeongguk sighs with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, it is. Hawaii does sunsets better than Korea, that’s for sure.”

Jeongguk stands next to you and says nothing for a few seconds. The sunset is indeed gorgeous, like something ripped out of a painting from a gallery somewhere fancy and famous. You hum quietly, and jump slightly to the left to grab a large stick off the sand. Jeongguk has to stop himself from smiling as you pick it up, like a kid who pretends the stick is a sword.

“I used to write rude things in the sand for the people in planes who flew past, every single time we went on vacation when I was a kid,” you announce.

Jeongguk laughs, “You were some kid, huh?”

“Maybe you killed the wrong one,” you think, and Jeongguk frowns.

“Can you not bring that up all the time?” You look at him and he frowns deeper, “I know you’re happy about it and stuff, but like...not my proudest moment. Makes me feel sucky.”

“Oh,” you answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just a joke.”

He shrugs, “I know. But still.”

You stab the sand with the stick. “I thought maybe it was like, fitting?”

Jeongguk lifts his head to the sky and closes his eyes. “Can’t we have a trip where we just pretend to be in love or something so I don’t feel so shit about the reason why we came here?”

That shuts you up for a moment, and you turn fully to face him as he continues to stare at the sky.

“Like Colmar, maybe,” you press, and he looks down.

“Yeah.”

It sits there for a bit, like you’re genuinely contemplating it, but then you straighten with a little huff and turn to him.

“Seems fair,” you agree.

Jeongguk almost exhales a sigh of relief and he smiles, genuinely, and follows you across the beach. The tide is a little out, the sand damp where the sea once was and like children, you embrace the fun that’s waiting to be had on the shores. Chasing the waves, running from them, staring at cute crabs that scurry across the sand and laughing at the cute kids that drop their ice creams in the water.

Jeongguk takes the stick gently from your hand and points it towards the white sand, pressing the tip against the grains. You smile against his arm as you bend to see what he draws; the stick drags across the sand and outlines a J, and the first initial of your name. Oh, you think, as he closes them inside a heart and stands back to admire his work.

It’s cute, childishly cute, and he looks proud. Jeongguk beams at you for approval and you smile back, happy.

“Photo,” you say and Jeongguk drops to a crouch near the design and poses with the stick. This photo is cute, probably cuter than the one from Colmar. Jeongguk even lets you keep it.

(25) Wearing clothes in their favourite colour.

Jeongguk’s favourite colour was white, and he loved the way a white shirt or a white coat or any white accessory would look on you. Sadistically he’d love you in the white clothes he ruins, seeing you wrap your body in a white shirt dressed with blood. White was his muse, a colour of purity and innocence. Although he always wore black for work, he had to have an admiration for the colour of white, standard paper or milk white.

Jeongguk knows that your favourite colour is green. He can tell by the amount of green plants around your apartment, and the green blankets and pillows and mugs and the unusual amount of green clothing items you have in your wardrobe. He even remembers the tie you bought him once, a Slytherin green that he actually really likes despite his Hogwarts house being Ravenclaw.

You’ve never actually seen him wear the tie, not until today when Jeongguk makes a quick stop by your apartment as he heads back to the office. He steps inside with a brown bag filled with bagels and he kisses your forehead by the front door and hands them to you. You see the tie and smile; Jeongguk sure as hell looks great in your favourite colour.

(26) Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

You’re lucky that you never really came across Elio, never once when you were at Jeongguk’s home. You had assumed that Elio was sleeping, or elsewhere on days you visited or nights you slept over. To your surprise and perhaps horror, you discovered that Elio had been there all along, just disinterested in coming out to see you from the few rooms that Jeongguk converted into his own personal habitat.

“You just had him here all this time?” you screech quietly, running back into the bedroom after seeing Elio on the couch. “What the fuck.”

“He’s harmless,” Jeongguk shrugs. “He’s not interested in a human diet right now.”

“Right now? That’s not comforting,” you reply. “I’m happy to go through all your shitty paperwork for you, it’s something I actually enjoy, but can you please go out and get them for me?”

Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, “why, can’t find them?”

“They’re in the living room, on the table,” you explain, peering back out, “but Elio’s on the couch.”

He laughs, rising, “He’s not gonna even touch you.”

“He might.”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“No, but he doesn’t hurt me, so he won’t hurt you.”

You gape. “What? He’s your pet, of course he won’t hurt you. He trusts you. He doesn’t even know me.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly and ruffles your hair as he crosses your path. “Whatever. You’re such a fuckin pussy,” then he kisses your neck and heads out into the living room. You quiver by the doorway as he moves without a flinch towards Elio.

The giant cat picks his head up off the couch and yawns in Jeongguk’s direction, his tail swooshing prettily over the side of the couch. His black fur blends into the blanket he lies on and as he blinks slowly, Jeongguk reaches to pet his head and behind his ears. Elio basks in the love, pressing his head further into Jeongguk’s palm, oddly dog-like. Jeongguk spends a few more moments with his beloved exotic and then finally, like he’s reluctant to, picks up the large and messy stack of papers and then walks back towards the bedroom with a smug expression. Elio’s head falls back to sleep.

“Touch me, check I’m still alive after my dangerous encounter,” Jeongguk says, bringing the papers into the room and dropping them on the bed.

“Shut up,” you huff.

(27) Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

A call from Eunji at eight in the evening destroys all the plans you had set in place. Jeongguk had been called to meet with one of the founders of the South Korean Continental, and wouldn’t be back until around nine. You had prepped an entire meal, sitting ready on the side for when he got home.

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t absolutely important,” Eunji apologises, sounding flustered on the line, “I just. I didn’t know who else to call. I went back to the library, I think I got rid of him, but he was definitely following me from the restaurant. Fuck, Y/N, it was so scary.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m glad you called me,” you assure her, already putting your shoes on, “I can’t believe he showed up again. Didn’t he get put in jail?”

Eunji hums like she’s not convinced, “Out on bail, eighty kay.”

“Fuck. Do you, uh,” you start, thinking of if it’s okay to say, “want me to call someone else?” Jeongguk?

Eunji is one of the only people alive who knows about Jeongguk. She had been your best friend since you were seven, and was one of the only people who remained by your side after Jeongguk had your brother executed, and after you decided to become Jeongguk’s little play thing for a few weeks until he lost control and kept you around. Eunji’s no stranger to his antics, and if you warped the story a little, Jeongguk would have no issues with sorting the problem at hand.

“No, no, don’t,” Eunji begs. “He’ll take it too far. People will point fingers at me. Can you just come and get me?”

“Of course,” you tell her. “We’ll go back to mine, I can see Jeongguk whenever.”

Eunji exhales in relief, “I love you, you know that? You’re the best friend ever.”

You hang up a few minutes later and stare sadly at the meal. But it can’t be helped. Jeongguk’s bailed on you a thousand times for his colleagues. He wouldn’t mind, after a few hours of thinking about it. You sigh with repent and move the food towards the microwave.

Rescuing Eunji. Call me, I can come back tomorrow. Please eat.

Jeongguk finds the note when he gets home and scrunches it into a ball in the bin.

He eats alone, in silence, the other side of the table still prepped for another person.

(28) Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

“Enjoy the movie!”

“Thanks.”

Jeongguk takes the two tickets from the vender and steers you towards the corridor that leads to the rooms. On this rare occasion, Jeongguk has decided to court you. Quite literally, Jeongguk had called you up and asked if you wanted to go on a date, or something, because he was bored and liked you most, and he knows there’s a movie you’ve been wanting to see.

“Are you sure you wanna watch it with me?” you ask him, even though he’s already got the tickets and is walking next to you.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“I just didn’t think you were a cinema kind of person,” you confess.

Jeongguk hums, “To be honest, I’m not. But this movie looks good, and you wanna see it, and how often do we do things that you wanna do?”

It’s true.

The cinema room is dark and empty, since you’re both early to begin with. As always, it’s a little bit sticky and smelly, and Jeongguk pushes you towards the back row because it is inarguably the best place to sit in the cinema. You set down the large drink in between you both, two straws poking out in each of your directions.

“It’s great this movie is showing here,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, well the LGBT plus movement is really popular now, people are a lot more accepting of it,” Jeongguk states. “I mean, look at how well The Handmaiden did.”

You nod, “great movie.”

“It is,” he agrees. A few minutes later and the lights dim significantly, the movie is probably about to start. Jeongguk leans to the left a little and sips from the drink.

(29) Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Uni’s tough, nobody said it wasn’t. Jeongguk doesn’t really understand this, since he never went to University. He brings a mug of tea from the kitchen to his bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged staring at a laptop, setting it to the side and sitting just behind you but to your side, watching you closely.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what,” you mutter dimly.

“Overworking yourself,” Jeongguk replies, “I can see your brain fucking pulsing against your skull.”

You sigh loudly. “I can’t do this. Why did I enroll in University? I should have just put it all away after high school and become a trophy wife.”

Jeongguk’s brows furrow. “You can still be a trophy wife, you’ll just be a smart one.”

You look at him. “I’m not smart enough for this.”

For a while, Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, and he just sits listening to you. As you vent, and open up about how hard it is to do this damn degree, Jeongguk watches your face and your body and uses his fingers to gently tuck the hair that falls in front of your face behind your ear. The passion that pours out of you when you’re frustrated is an unspoken beauty that you’re not even aware of, and Jeongguk eats it up.

He does what he can to put you at ease, because things he says in encouragement are things you already know anyway. Like all humans, all you need is a little bit of love, and Jeongguk’s happy to give it if it means you’re happy with him.

(30) Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

“Can’t reach. Baby, scratch my back for me?”

You cringe away from the TV, “what the fuck am I? Your maid?”

“Please?”

You sigh. “Where’s it itching?”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“You don’t pay me enough for this.”

“I don’t pay you at all.”

Sigh. “Exactly.”

[julieandthefandoms]

More Fanfiction Links

So, apparently I hit a link limit on my previous post about fanfic links, and in order to remedy that, I’ll be creating this separate list in order to link more fanfics. I’ll also be continuing to add to this current list until I hit the 100 link limit again (because clearly I don’t learn), so it’ll change relatively often. 

If you haven’t seen it already, the first post is here, and has a little under 100 fanfics, and I apologize if there are any repeats. I will be relinking my own fics and the ongoing ones for any of you are interested, so yeah.

I will also be marking AUs by putting the AU they’re set in parenthesis, and marking one-shots or chaptered fics by placing an asterisk (*) by the chaptered ones. In unspecified sections, the ships/characters involved in the tory will be listed in italic. Side note, all of the following fics besides the ones in the Pine With Me section are completed, so there’s no need to worry about the completion status of the fics. Now, I have read all of these, so if anyone wants to scream about any of these with me, I got you ;)

(Fair warning, the majority of these are TDA/TLH fics... mostly because I’m rereading TDA and drowning in feelings.) 

Matthew Angst

Entreat me not to leave thee by thelandunderthehilll

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/625697713695195136/entreat-me-not-to-leave-thee

Runaway by themostawesomehuman/chris-top-her-lightwood

https://chris-top-her-lightwood.tumblr.com/post/626088077139509248/runaway-first-draft

Untitled Matthew Fanfic by lily-chen-deserves-better

https://lily-chen-deserves-better.tumblr.com/post/626711184724426752/matthew-x-happiness-im-glad-to-see-you-again

The Boy and the Door by themostawesomehuman Math and Owen

https://themostawesomehuman.tumblr.com/post/627139370040885248/the-boy-and-the-door-owen-herondale-and-matthew

Blackdale/Thorndale/Jesse x Lucie/Whatever You Call Them

Untitled Blackdale by zzoyalantsov

https://zzoyalantsov.tumblr.com/post/625576347383857152/hey-prompt-6-for-blackdale

“Don’t Ask Me How I’ve Been” by lily-chen-deserves-better

https://lily-chen-deserves-better.tumblr.com/post/625442487221338112/for-ghostjessesgirl-this-is-a-train-wreck-and

Explorations in cooking and kissing by UpsideDownCats

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427817

Untitled Blackdale by sparow

 https://sparow.tumblr.com/post/619823878129221632/3-9-10-angst-lucie-and-jesse-gooo-if-you-can

Platonic Family Shenanigans/Fluff

“Let me guess, there’s a dead body in the closet” by lily-chen-deserves-better Thomas and Lucie

https://lily-chen-deserves-better.tumblr.com/post/624804827849949185/a-shipfriendshipcharacter-a-quote-for-a

Parental Differences by affectionatelyyy Jessa family

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431358 or here 

Max and Rafe QSA Fic by ti-bae-rius Max and Rafe

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/187093686941/rafael-and-max-qsa-fic

Paralleled by immortal-enemies Ash and Kit

https://immortal-enemies.tumblr.com/post/626282235354562560/paralleled

Untitled Heronchild by lucieblckthorn Matthew and James

https://lucieblckthorn.tumblr.com/post/626560434501287936/can-i-plz-hv-prompt-2-heronchild-again

Be Wise Enough to Wonder. Be brave and let it go. By Ineedadrinkorsleep Mark and Helen 

https://ineedadrinkorsleep.tumblr.com/post/626662185866756096/be-wise-enough-to-wonder-be-brave-and-let-it-go

Jordelia

“You Smell Nice” by lucieblckthorn

https://lucieblckthorn.tumblr.com/post/625604991095324672/congrats-on-ur-milestone-jordelia-prompt-22

The Worst Things in Life Come Free to Us by zzoyalantsov

https://zzoyalantsov.tumblr.com/post/627532126978506752/the-worst-things-in-life-come-free-to-us

Matthew/Cordelia

Untitled Math/Cordelia by thelandunderthehilll

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/624882185411919873/cringe-cliche-angst-fan-fic-for-a-change-lmao-idk

Untitled Math/Cordelia by emablckthorn

https://emablckthrn.tumblr.com/post/624950180429561856/i-wrote-another-fanfic-this-one-is-about-matthew

Wait before you go by immyownghostwriter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199353

Thomastair 

Untitled Thomastair by ti-bae-rius

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/624000112834854912/thomastair-prompt

Untitled Thomastair by cordeliacarstairs1989writesstuff (Linking chapter 2; chapter 1 is linked in the post)

https://cordeliacarstairs1989writesstuff.tumblr.com/post/626392908711542785/thomstair-part-2

Braver by mysilverwords/thomaslightwood

https://mysilverwords.tumblr.com/post/627905053589651456/braver-thomas-lightwood-with-a-special-guest

Arianna

Untitled Arianna by shadowhuntersshadow-world

https://shadowhuntersshadow-world.tumblr.com/post/626412484132208640/my-first-fanfic

Herongraystairs

Poets by ashesandhoney

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070181

Gabrily

Untitled Gabrily Fic by Inej-in-the-shadows

https://inej-in-the-shadows.tumblr.com/post/627789466399080448/gabrily-fanfic

Sizzy

”Imagine Muse B of your OTP buying Grand Theft Auto 5 and playing it every single day. Muse A doesn’t like all the violence and swearing, but after playing online with a couple of other friends, gets hooked too” by ti-bae-rius 

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/163260667541/imagine-muse-b-of-your-otp-buying-grand-theft

Many-A-Ships

As Long As I’m With You by fieryfantasybooklover Haline, Kitty, and Jemma

https://fieryfantasybooklover.tumblr.com/post/625457184103350272/as-long-as-im-with-you-a-haline-jemma-and

To Love by lily-chen-deserves-better Assorted TDA Ships (Fun Story: This Was Made To Piss Off a Homophobe) 

https://lily-chen-deserves-better.tumblr.com/post/621412716168577024/to-love

Not Unlike a Fairy Tale by fieryfantasybooklover Thomastair, Cordelia, Arianna

https://fieryfantasybooklover.tumblr.com/post/626484597104033793/not-unlike-a-fairy-take-a-thomastair-arianna

Kierartina

*Untitled Kierartina by thelandunderthehilll (chapters 1-4 listed at the bottom of the post)

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/625518921255141376/fan-fic-characters-from-the-dark-artifices-by

Untitled Kierartina by thelandunderthehilll

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/625062005221490688/tadaaa-fanfic-in-faerie-as-i-promised-lovee

The Lucky Ones by Ineedadrinkorsleep 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20432540

Sweet Dreams by thelandunderthehilll

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/625868019312295936/sweet-dreams

Untitled Kierartina (Mark’s POV of why he left to save Kieran) by thelandunderthehilll

https://thelandunderthehilll.tumblr.com/post/626548752988143616/fan-fic-characters-from-the-dark-artifices-by

Kitty

Hold Me Tight While You Wait by heronthxrns

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24763507

*all my broken heartbeats by laylacarstairs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493021/chapters/59121295

Kitty and Vine References by tsc-living

https://tsc-living.tumblr.com/post/184716251806/kitty-and-vine-references

I loved you before you even came into this world by lihtwood

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303286

Thinkin’ about you by lihtwood

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504664

I don’t miss you at all by lihtwood

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022441

Begin Again by bobmcjoe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17151506

Kit Herondale: Medium Extraordinarie by rosesareredvioletsareblue

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294493

Wherever I go, you bring me home by booksandbeanbags

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431358

There’s nothing to be afraid of by Ineedadrinkorsleep

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17808431

Ty’s letter to Kit during TWP by Ineedadrinkorsleep

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697002

The one thing you can never do by Ineedadrinkorsleep 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21319315

When No one’s watching by Ineedadrinkorsleep

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427664

Blanket Forts and Bad Days by ti-bae-rius

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/165685000001/blanket-forts-and-bad-days-kitty

*Chance Encounter by ti-bae-rius

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/185651968861/chance-encounters-part-12

*I’m In Love Without You by bluesxrgent 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008965

you make it easy by thankyouforexisting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6460615

The Bet (or: Team Rosales-Blackthorn are losers) (or: Disregard the previous statement; Team Carstairs-Blackthorn is the worst) by KallistoGray

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940314

Follow my Lead by HPfanonezillion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329480

aut inveniam viam aut faciam by helenblqckthorn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17144537

Challenge the Default by elliptical

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6265393

Helpless by RoseHerondale

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25923886

Fire and Flood by fairchild-squad

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914937

(A Kitty AU Subsection because this is getting too long)

I wonder if you look both ways before you cross my mind by lihtwood (Kit Never Left AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18234149

Listen To Your Heart by tyherondaletrash (Quarantine AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986390 or here 

Wayward Presence by Adoravel_Fenomeno (High School AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530167

“I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep and I need a fake boyf ASAP” by ti-bae-rius (Modern AU)

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/175509991201/kitty-au-i-told-my-sister-i-have-a-boyfriend-so

*Soulmate AU by ti-bae-rius (Soulmate AU)

Part 1: https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/179216171251/soulmate-au-kitty-part-1-of-2-based-on-the

Part 2: https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/179216179081/soulmate-au-kitty-part-2-of-2

Highschool Kitty AU by ti-bae-rius (High School AU)

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13268350/1/High-School-AU-Kitty

Living out a life of royalty by Adoravel_Fenomeno (Kitty Faerie AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25862785

Eyes are the Windows to the Soul by orphan_account (Soulmate AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9375944

Summertime by Adoravel_Fenomeno (Childhood Friends AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936528

On the wheel that winds on forever by Adoravel_Fenomeno (Fallen Angel AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994482

The art of letting go by Adoravel_Fenomeno (Artist/Muse Fake Dating AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070262

Haline

Like I’m Gonna Lose You by lily-chen-deserves-better

https://lily-chen-deserves-better.tumblr.com/post/623086630335627264/like-im-going-to-lose-you

“It’s 3 in the morning” by Thomastair

https://thomastair.tumblr.com/post/617963730194628608/could-you-please-do-3-for-haline

Don’t let those basterds get you down by Ineedadrinkorsleep

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747804

“I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen” by ti-bae-rius (Modern AU)

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/178764126786/haline-au-i-tried-to-rescue-you-from-being

Diana/Gwyn

Dance with me? by ti-bae-rius

https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/165303275646/gwynburn-dance-with-me

Pine With Me (Ongoing Fics)

*You’re my rock, my colorado by lihtwood (Brooklyn 99 Kitty AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505048

*Popsicle Stick Homes and Construction Paper Hearts by GinnyRose (Thomastair Modern AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24132592/chapters/58103440

*A Last Chance by CrimzieLightwood (Thomastair)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149710/chapters/58151143

*time to dance on sorrows by fairchild-squad (Time Travel AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842437/chapters/60093769

*new blooms by fairchild-squad (Blackdale Flower Shop AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830689

*The Sibling Matchmakers Club by affectionatelyyy (A Herongraystairs Parent Trap AU)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601440 or here

Extremely Well Written Pieces That Make My Heart Hurt

For better or for worse, I am alive by Ineedadrinkorsleep Kit Herondale

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740581

I used to say there’s no such thing as we by Ineedadrinkorsleep Ty Blackthorn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22935322

Some Of My Own Work 

If Crazy=Genius, The Herondales, Fairchilds, Blackthorns, and Carstairs Would Have 162 IQ by TimeToTravel Jordelia, Thomastair, Jessa, and Blackdale

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194744

What Is And What Should Never Be by TimeToTravel Jordelia and Thomastair

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23272336

Maybe There’s Something There That Wasn’t There Before by TimeToTravel Jordelia and Thomastair

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23439985

Days Past: Paris 1902 by TimeToTravel Thomastair

Either: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015850 or here

Bring Back What Once Was Mine by TimeToTravel Blackdale

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042889

Heaven and Hell by TimeToTravel Grace and Christopher

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192601 or here

Free To Be You And Me by TimeToTravel Arianna

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466879 or here

We’ll Meet Again by TimeToTravel (Herongraystairs Supernatural and TSC epic crossover) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24621490

Breeding Cannibal Ducks by TimeToTravel Platonic Heronstairs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24761302 or here

Idris Weekly: The Millionaire Murder by TimeToTravel and LivingInTheNever (Blackdale Detective AU) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898957

A Perfect Day by TimeToTravel Blackdale

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24919912 or here

Best Day of Our Lives by TimeToTravel Kitty, Heline, Kierartine, and Jemma

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25737559 or here

This was quite long, so I’m just going to leave the key here again:

* = multi-chaptered fics 

(Parenthesis) = AU

If in a non ship subsection: 

Italics = ships/characters in story

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

your hc about mary please🤲🏻🤲🏻

Aw thanks so much for asking!! Idk if you're the same anon that asked about Tilda or a different one, but I appreciate you just the same 😍 no one has interacted with the Tilda post yet from what I can see so idk if people care about this in general but im glad you do! And I'd love to share regardless.

Once again this'll probably be long so it's going under a cut. Cw for normal aftg stuff but then also a little human trafficking mention in the beginning and general abuse/neglect both physical and emotional.

And once again this is in no way to excuse Mary's shitty behavior. She and Tilda were both abusive and terrible mothers and this is more just an exploration of the character and her mentality than anything else. I just love character depth.

Finally, I apologize if this isn't very well worded. I'm pretty tired but I dont like editing myself lmao I'd rather just get this out now. I think I get my points across clearly enough so I don't care as much about how good or bad the writing is

So Mary's mother was a woman who I consider not only having married into the Hatfords but who was basically like... sold to them as a child. Like maybe she was the illegitimate child of some other wealthy family who happened to owe some kind of debt to the Hatfords. And the Hatfords had only one son and were struggling to have another, but were desperate to keep the family line going. So they took this baby in exchange for forgiving a debt, and raised her to one day marry their son.

So this girl (whose name I've decided is Marion for some reason) is raised as a member of the family but like... slightly less. Treated as more of an object than a person. They basically only gave her enough of an education for her to get by, and made sure she knew from a young age that her sole purpose in the family was to marry their son (let's call him Samuel).

So you can imagine she didn't grow into a very happy woman. But she filled her role. She married Samuel Hatford, gave him 3 kids, and then pretended to stay out of the way. Stuart was the oldest, Mary in the middle, and I hc they had a younger sister as well. Don't ask me why. That just popped into my head one day and now I can't imagine otherwise.

So this family dynamic was fucked from the beginning. See Marion filled her role, but she had plans. In raising her children, she gave a great deal of care and attention to Stuart as he was the eldest and the only son. He was to inherit the family business upon his father's death or retirement. And she wanted to make sure she was taken care of properly in her old age. So she made Stuart feel as loved and doted on as she could.

Her daughters served her no purpose, so they got very different treatment. Mary especially was affected by this. The youngest daughter was able to generally slip under the radar and find her own niche in the world (married into a powerful wealthy family through a man she genuinely loved and that was already more than anyone needed or expected from her).

But Mary. She felt her mother's cold shoulder on a very deep level. Their father wasn't exactly a family man- couldn't be bothered. And here was her mother, so plainly and openly playing favorites. Stuart would get hugs and soft words while Mary would- on a good day- get slapped for even opening her mouth. See Mary and her sister were never meant to have any real power in the family. So what did it matter to Marion what grudges they held against her?

So enough years go by and Marion decides its taking too long for her husband to retire. So she takes matters into her own hands. Starts slowly slipping poison into his meals in very small doses until he's too weak to fight back when she slits his throat. She doesn't hide what she did. She doesn't need to. When Stuart takes over at 22 years old, he can't find it in himself NOT to protect her.

But I'm getting carried away. So Mary was now in a pretty weird spot. Stuart being in charge gave her a bit stronger footing in the family (they'd always had a very close relationship despite their mother's attitude), but she was still lower rung. She still suffered at the hands of her mother's emotional neglect and manipulation. And she was getting tired of it.

In comes Nathan Wesninski. See the thing I imagine with Nathan is that he is actually incredible charming. His knives can only get him so much when there are people he can't reach to cut up. And when his rising empire starts doing business with the Hatfords, he and Mary latch onto one another very quickly.

They each have their own intentions in the relationship and neither of them are blind to that. But it wasn't an arranged marriage. See Mary saw Nathan as her ticket up and out. She knew he was vying for power and she knew he was fully capable of getting it. I wouldn't go as far to say they were ever in love- I don't think either of them were ever really capable of that- but Mary definitely had some strong faith in what their relationship could be.

Now, when she looked forward, she finally saw herself on top. She saw her and Nathan standing side by side. That power that had always been out of reach for her? It was now in sight, and she definitely was blinded by that. She didn't see what Nathan really was until she was in too deep.

Stuart and the younger sister had disapproved of Mary and Nathan being together from the beginning. Being in business with him, Stuart knew what Nathan really was and how much he could drag Mary down. Their younger sister had just learned to be much better at reading people. But it didn't matter what they said. Mary had her plan and nothing was going to take it from her.

Mary's commitment to marrying Nathan and Stuart's blatant disapproval of him created a deep rift between them. They had always been very close, but Mary saw his interference as an attempt to keep her in her place. She was stubborn and refused to back down. By the time she and Nathan got married, her and Stuart were barely on speaking terms.

Now the thing is, Nathan knew what he wanted out of Mary. And he also knew that once he had her, she wouldn't be able to go anywhere until he got what he wanted.

It didn't take too long for Mary to come to understand that what they had was never and would never be a partnership. She was a tool to him. And by the time she had Abram, he was already beating her into submission and openly fooling around with Lola on the side.

But now she was stuck. Their marriage may not have been arranged, but it was still a business deal. And even if it wasn't, Nathan wasn't going to let her go anywhere.

Once it became clear that Abram wasn't going to make an appropriate heir for the Wesninski business and Nathan tried to sell him to the Moriyamas, Mary decided she'd had enough. She was going to get out one way or another.

Now here's the thing. We know what Mary was like with Neil when they were on the run. We know how abusive and controlling she was. And she could say it was for his own good all she wanted. But ultimately, it was all about power. She had been beaten down from the very start of her life. She'd been left in the dust, bloody and bruised, while those around her rose to a power that was always just out of her reach.

But now it was just her and her son. And they may not even have the luxury of being real people anymore, but damn if she was going to lose the one thing she was able to call hers- the one thing in the world she actually had power over.

Because that's really all it's ever about isn't it? Mary Hatford wasn't capable of loving anything or anyone. The people who'd raised her and made her who she was had never taught her how to do that. And maybe the fierce protectiveness she had over Abram was the closest she could get to it. But really she just ultimately became the same thing she had always been fighting against. Now it was her own heavy and swift hands doling out punishment to a misbehaving child. Now she herself was the one getting the last word and making all the decisions. Now she had someone following her every command.

It eventually became clear to her that she very likely would die sooner or later at the hands of Nathan and his men. She could only run so far and for so long. But even in her death, she knew she would never let them take what was hers. She never took Abram to Stuart because the break in their relationship was beyond repair at this point. But she still would prefer Abram eventually ended up in his protection than at the end of Nathan's knife. But until these things came, she took Abram and kept running. The more days they ran, the more days she had of power over him and freedom from everything else. The more able she was to ensure that Abram would keep running after her death; that he'd never fall under anyone else's power and that her voice would be the only one left in his head at the end of each day.

If she could see where he'd ended up, she'd be furious (and she'd be surprised at her own fury, as introspection wasn't something she indulged in often). He was never meant to live. He was never meant to move on from her memory or to leave her dying request behind.

But, at the same time, good for him for finding his own strength and place in the world. Because of course it could only happen once she was gone.

---

So thats my take on Mary. Once again, she was a piece of shit just like Tilda. This is not to do anything other than explore the character and give her complexity. I do genuinely believed she "loved" Neil in the only way she could ever be capable of loving anyone. But it wasn't love. It was possession. And good on both him and Andrew (and Aaron and Nicky for that matter) for being able to slowly learn to heal from the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents.

Thanks so much again for asking!! It means a lot and I love to share my headcanons 😊❤

[bobbymckenzie]

If you’re doing a slowburn Bobby route, do you think the speech he held for Mc on day 22 would’ve been different? By that I mean would he have mentioned them not getting together until now and him liking for so long, something like that?

oh yeah definitely!!! i think he’d spend more time talking about how lucky he was to catch her eye, and how long he’d been wanting to be with her. i actually got my friends to send me screenshots of the speech at the recoupling so i could try to rewrite it!

[disclaimer, im rewriting the whole thing bc it’s so bland if ur on a slowburn route. bobby should’ve given mc more than that !!! also thank you @nuggobby​ love u queen ur the absolute best!]

[as always, using my mc sabrina] [roughly 1k words]

----

His phone pinged, finally, but it wasn’t like he didn’t know he was up next. He was the last guy to recouple. And he was losing it.

“Looks like I’m going last, guys,” he chuckled nervously, garnering a few scattered laughs, but he could tell no one’s heart was in it.

Everyone, him included, were on the edge of their seats. He took a deep, but shaky breath to steady himself, eyes closed. He exhaled, opening his eyes, a resolve that surprised him burning in his chest, igniting as soon as he locked eyes with Sabrina. 

“This... is honestly one of the easiest decisions I’ve made since I’ve been in the Villa. I think any time I’m with her things get a lot easier for me,” he said, mirroring the soft smile that slowly lit up her face. “I can definitely laugh easier, since she can go toe to toe with my banter, which is hard to do.” A few people laughed, the atmosphere lightening, despite the heavy decision he had to make.

“I...” he trailed off, still staring at her –– only her. Everything he was saying was for her ears only and the rest of the islanders were just lucky spectators. “I’ve got to be honest, it’s hard for me to even tell you how I feel about her, because I’m losing my train of thought just looking at her. I mean, she’s beautiful!”

She pouted and mouthed “awe” at him, making a heart shape with her hands.

“I spent a lot of time wishing I was with her, and that we’d have a chance to try this thing out properly. And now that I’m here, right now, doing it... it doesn’t feel real?” He blew air out of his cheeks, running a hand over his locs.

“I’m kind of bricking it because it’s like my brain is convincing me this is just a dream, and that I’ll wake up any second now. Somebody wanna pinch me?” He joked, before making a spectacle of pinching himself on the ass and making a face.

Sabrina cackled from across the fire pit, clapping with glee at his stupid joke. It gave him the last push he needed to cross the finish line.

“Y’know, I love being her friend but... I think I’ll love being able to kiss her and hold her even more, if she’ll let me,” he watched her expression, searching her face for the consent he desperately wanted.

Despite his chat with her, and the rumors floating around the villa that got back to him about Sabrina wanting to couple up with him, he still couldn’t believe it – not that he didn’t want to, but he couldn’t believe his dream girl reciprocated his affections. He was used to pining and being let down easily, not actually getting the girl.

She rolled her lips, trying to hold back a smile. She gave a soft nod, a moment shared between them that belonged to no one else. Nothing stood in their way – except for Bobby’s ramblings.

Before he realized what he was doing, his legs were moving, and he was jogging across the fire pit to where she stood on the lawn. He held his hand out, a silent plead for her to go along with his bit (she grabbed it eagerly, hand fitting into his like a perfect match), before dropping down to one knee.

The girls gasped, and he could hear Gary teasing him from afar, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the goofy grin on her face.

He knew the camera crew was eating it up, but he didn’t do it for publicity. He wanted to remember that moment forever, and he couldn’t do it from standing across the fire pit. He cursed himself internally for already being clingy, but he couldn’t help it. He was enamored with everything about her. And he’d waited long enough to be hers.

“I heard a guy in Casa Amor did this and it didn’t work, so I’m holding out hope that you’ll let me down easy if it’s too cheesy – ha! that rhymed,” he laughed, squeezing her hand.

She gripped back, and used her free hand to pinch his cheek between her thumb and pointer finger. “You’re so cute,” she mouthed.

“Will you couple up with me, the class clown of the villa? I promise I’ll try my hardest to make you laugh every day, no matter how embarrassing it –”

Wordlessly, she yanked his arm up, forcing him to his feet, and wrapped her other arm around his neck, pulling him into a searing kiss – their first.

She tasted better than he ever could’ve predicted. Her lips were softer than in the kiss he’d daydreamed about. It was like kissing a cloud. A marshmallow. A flaky pastry, even. And she smelled just as good.

Just as he parted his lips, nearly forgetting the world around him, she pulled back, pressing her forehead against his.

“You’re my clown, now,” she giggled, breathless, pecking his lips again before stepping back, hands still intertwined.

It was a cliche moment for cheering, but the Villa had already erupted into a chorus of whoops and claps, their excitement reverberating throughout the night. Everyone in the villa loved Bobby and Sabrina for the same reasons, and had been secretly rooting for them, a fact that they didn’t know til it was nearly too late. A phone pinged, cutting through their excitement.

Gary picked up the phone next to him and read it, his guffaw cutting through the silence. “You know you have to do it the proper way now, mate? We have to reset because you did it wrong,” Gary said, grinning, waving his phone. “You got a warning.”

“Well damn, I guess I messed that up,” he laughed, rubbing his thumb across her hand.

“No, that was perfect,” she leaned in to give him a soft peck. “The kiss, the speech, you... I’m so glad you picked me, Bobby.”

“You gonna pick me again?” She teased, tapping his nose with the pad of her finger.

“If I could choose any day of my life so far for my own Groundhog Day movie, it’d be today, no contest. I’d choose you every time,” he said, lip quirked up at the side, in a shy half smile that made her heart flutter.

And it was even better hearing him say how he much he wanted her the second time around.

----

[farfromtommy]

the rest of our lives //chris evans x reader

A/N: wrote this bc I couldn't sleep. its almost 4am and im tired but felt like writing some cute shit tonight. I love this so much and sorry if it doesn't make sense and for the mistakes but I LOVE IT. pls give it some love . 

Summary: chris and y/n visit her childhood home and tell her parents about their plans for the future

Warnings: angst, FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF, language I think, age gap but its not gross (chris 38, reader 22)

Word Count: 3,780

masterlist

With one final zip of your suitcase you were ready for your trip. You and your boyfriend of 2 years, Chris, were taking a couple days off to spend time with your parents. You hadn’t seen them since your college graduation and they had been bugging you for months for you and Chris to spend some time in your hometown. 

You were currently living in Boston and had completely expected that you weren’t going back home following your completion of university. Your life was in Boston. Although you missed your parents and your sister, you were so ready to start this new chapter of your life and be able to make it your own. 

You and Chris had been looking for a house together since you decided to stay in Boston with him. Your relationship was headed in a good direction and both of you were 100% in it for the long run. You wanted to wait till after you graduated to move in together, not wanting to worry about anything besides school. Chris had his realtor on the phone the minute your grades for your last semester had been finalized and everything was approved for graduation. 

When you sat down with him and both said what you were looking for in a house, the topic of kids came up. You knew Chris wanted a family, and you did too. You had both agreed to bring the conversation up again after some time in the house together. You were secretly hoping he was planning on proposing to you soon. You’ve been dropping major hints at him through your Pinterest board ever since you started having serious conversations about your future with each other. You were ready for it all. You wanted to marry Chris and fill your beautiful new home with a bunch of kids. 

You were also slowly convincing him to get Dodger a friend since both of you were always working, and you wanted to make sure he was never lonely when you were at work. 

Your amazing realtor had found a beautiful house right outside of Boston that had everything you were both looking for. You were just waiting for the final pieces of paperwork to come in and finally be able to call the house yours. 

Your lease on your apartment was up last month and had been staying at Chris’s place. All of the big things you didn’t sell from your place were in storage and everything else was with you. 

When you had mentioned to your sister that you and Chris were days away from closing on your new home, she had asked how your parents felt about everything. 

“They know our relationship is serious. They met him at graduation and had known about him well before that. Mom even talked about us having a fall wedding here, since the weather would be perfect. I haven’t told them about the house since we’ve known about this trip since everything with the house started. I want to tell them in person, so don’t mention anything to them.” You huffed. 

“I talked to mom the other day and she thinks that you made a mistake staying there to be with Chris. She doesn’t think your relationship is going to last, since he’s so much older than you. Hell, that’s what everyone thinks. She’s just worried, I think.” She expressed. 

“I’ve been hearing all of that for the past 2 years from everyone I know, especially from mom. Nobody knows our relationship better than we do. We both want the same things and are happy being together. So what if he’s older than me? Dad is way older than mom and no one questions the integrity of their relationship, why does everyone have to question mine?” I said back. 

“I know. I know you keep hearing this, and I’m sorry. I’m really happy for you, Y/N. I really am. Buying a house together is a big deal and I’m glad you’re ready to do that with him. You have everything so figured out and people are just jealous. I mean, you have the hottest dude in Hollywood in your bed every night. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?” She chuckled. 

“Anyway, we’ll talk more when you get here! I’m so excited to see you. Call me when you land and I’ll meet you at home. Love you!! See you tomorrow.” The line clicked and you threw your phone onto your bed. You let out a deep sigh and moved your suitcase off of the bed so you could collapse. 

You were slowly dozing off when you had heard Dodger starting to bark, alerting you that Chris was home. He had been doing some small indie films in Boston, not wanting to get back into major productions until you were settled in your new house. You picked yourself off your bed and walked into the living room, seeing Chris toe off his shoes and place his things down. He greeted Dodger and walked over to you, mumbling a quick hi and placed a quick kiss onto your lips. 

“Hi my love, how was your day?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen. You took a seat on the barstool facing the kitchen, and watched as Chris started to look around for something to snack on. 

“It was pretty good. Work was how it usually is. I came home early and got all my packing done for the trip and just cleaned a little bit around the house. I left some things you might want to pack out on the bed just incase. How was yours? Anything exciting happen on set?” You asked, leaning back on your chair.

“Wrapped up everything I needed to do so I could relax and enjoy the next couple of days without worrying about needing to get back to set.” He took a beer out of the fridge and leaned against the counter and took a drink from the bottle. “How are you feeling about seeing your parents and telling them about the house? You haven’t really said much about it.” He took another sip and walked closer to you. 

He sat in the chair next to you and just looked at you, waiting for your response. You thought for a moment, collecting your thoughts before giving him an honest answer. You sighed and thought about the conversation you had with your sister. 

“I’m excited to tell time, but really nervous. I talked to my sister earlier and she had told me that my mom has been having doubts about us and was just worried that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and blah blah blah. But I’m ready to set everything straight and tell her that she can’t doubt us anymore. It’s important to us that we do this and she needs to be on board with that. I know she’ll be happy for us, but you know how she gets. I think dad will be happy for us. He really like you, y’know. Tells me all the time that I need to fly him up here so you two can go to a Pats game. Poor guy had a house full of women his entire life and now he finally has the son he always wanted.” You rambled slightly. 

“Everything is gonna a work out, don’t be nervous. It’s 4 days with your parents and then we close on the house when we get back and should be moved in by the end of the next month. I know how important your family is to you and how much it means to to get their support on this, but you have so many other people who support you. You’re basically and Evans now and you have all of them standing behind us, cheering us on. Don’t worry too much on what might happen with them, but think about what’s happening with us now. Our life together is finally getting started.” He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it before pulling you off the chair and moving you closer to him. You stood between his legs and wrapped your arms around him. His comment about you being an Evans filled your stomach with butterflies but you didn’t think much into it. 

For the rest of the night you just sat on the couch watching movies and eating random snacks you had in the pantry, not bothering to cook something for dinner. You snuggled up next to Chris and Dodger was next to you as you stayed in the living room well into the night. You had fallen asleep on the couch and next thing you knew, you were being placed on your side of the bed and tucked in gently. 

Chris placed a kiss on your forehead and moved some of your Y/H/C hair out of your face. You sleepily smiled at him before turning to your side and let sleep consume you. You heard shuffling around the room, assuming Chris was finishing any packing he had left. You woke when you felt the bed dip beside you and your were wrapped in a pair of strong arms. You moved closer to Chris and let sleep take over you once again. 

~

It was late afternoon and you and Chris had landed safely in your hometown. You were driving down the street that was still so familiar to you. You saw your parent’s house come into full view as you instinctually turned a corner. You drew in a sharp breath as you put your rental car in park and stared up at your childhood home. You had spent so many years of your life here and it was so weird not seeing it as your home anymore. You looked over at Chris and he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. He grabbed some of his things and opened the car door and stepped out. 

You walked up to the front door hand in hand and raised your hand up to ring the doorbell. Not even 5 seconds later your mom had answered the door and immediately wrapped you in a hug. She grabbed your shoulders and looked at you with joy. She brought you in for another hug before giving one to Chris. 

“It’s good to see you again, Chris! How have things been going for you?” Your mom questioned, moving out of the way so you could walk inside. 

“Everything has been going great, thank you! How have you and Y/D/N been?” Chris asked, looking at the beautiful house he walked into. He had never seen this place in person, just in pictures you had and through a phone whenever he was around when you video called your parents.

 It was so elegantly decorated. Family photos littered the walls, he could pick you out of all of them. One of the things he had hoped he’d get a chance to see were photos from your childhood. You have been through every photo album the Evans family had created, thanks to his mom. You knew he was looking forward to those, so you had made sure your mom pulled them out of storage for him. 

“Same old same old. We’ve been really looking forward to you guys coming to visit us. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made Y/D/N clean this house over the past week. Had to make sure everything was in tip top shape for your first visit.” She winked at Chris and looked back at you. You plopped down on the couch, exhausted from your hectic day. 

“Thank you, Y/M/N. It’s really a beautiful house.” Chris said as he sat down next to you on the couch, putting his arm across the back of it. She nodded at him and went to go find your dad. You leaned into Chris’s side and he put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before continuing to take in his surroundings. 

“Don’t fall asleep before giving your old man a hug!” Your dads voice said as he walked into the living room. You and Chris both stood up and you ran into your dads arms. You loved both of your parents, but you were always closer to your dad. He gave you a big hug, picking you up off the ground slightly and placed a kiss on your cheek. Chris walked up to him and extended his hand for a handshake once you were done greeting your dad. 

“It’s great to see you! Glad you guys could take the time to make it out here.” Your dad said, shaking Chris’s hand and pulling him in for a “bro” hug. 

“Me too. I’m excited to finally be here. I’ve heard a lot of stories and seen a lot of pictures of Y/N growing up here.” Chris said as everyone took a seat in the living room, the two of you going back to your original spots. 

You all sat around the living room talking for a while, just catching up on everything that had been happening in your lives. Your dad and Chris started to get into sports talk and your mom motioned for you to go with her to the kitchen. You stood up from your spot, excusing yourself from the conversation you were no longer interested in and followed your mom. She poured you glass of wine, and then one for herself and told you to take it to the back porch while she got something for your dad and Chris. You sat down on one of the chairs and got comfortable, your mom joining you a few minutes later. 

“So, how are things in Boston with Chris? We haven’t really talked much about it. After graduation we thought you were going to come back, and then you stayed and we were all kinda confused.” Your mom said taking a sip from her glass. 

“Things are really great between us right now. Chris has been spending most of his time in Boston doing some small projects so I see him basically everyday. Work has been going super well, I’m loving every second of it. I know you guys were really disappointed when I didn’t come back, but my life is in Boston now. Chris is there and all my frien-“ You were saying before your mom cut you off. 

“So Chris is your life now? Chris and work? What happened to family first? You were supposed to come home and help us out. We thought you were going to find your own place here and find a job and be able to be here for us. We were there for you all your life.” She criticized. 

“Mom, I’m 22 years old. Don’t you think I’m old enough to start building my own life? Chris and I are building our future together and I couldn’t just leave and continue doing that from here. I wasn’t going to make him uproot his life up to follow me here just because you wanted me to. I’m sorry that you don’t agree with my decisions but I think I’m allowed to decide what I think is best for me.” You said back to her. She rolled her eyes at your response. Before she could say anything back your sister opened the door excitedly greeting you. You were relieved she was finally here to pull you out of the conversation that had taken a turn south between you and your mom. 

You had gone inside with your sister and saw that she brought dinner for everyone. You went over to Chris and asked him to help you get your bags out of the car before you sat down for dinner. He had noticed your change in mood and quickly followed you outside. You quickly ranted to him about what your mom had said and blew off some steam before heading back inside with your things. Chris followed you up to your childhood bedroom, where you two would be staying for the next few nights. It was still the way you had left it. Pictures of your high school friends scattered around the walls, and posters of things you loved when you were in high school. Chris chuckled at some of them and you two headed back to the dining room. 

Dinner had been going well, despite your moms discreet bashes at your life choices, you ignored them and continued to enjoy the rest of the meal. As everyone was finishing, you decided it was as good a time as any to bring up the big news. 

“So mom and dad, you guys don’t know this but Chris and I have been talking a lot the past couple months about our future and where we see it going. Things between us have been getting serious for a long time, but we just put off pulling the trigger on anything until I finished school and found a good job. Now that I am done with school and found a really amazing job, we decided that it was time to start settling down and getting ready for the rest of our lives together. With that being said, when we get back home, we are closing on a beautiful house that we found. We bought a house and we’ll be moved into it by the end of next month.” You said looking to your parents, hoping to be able to read their expressions. Your sister had a smile on her face, already knowing the news. 

Chris grabbed your hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You shot him a small smile and looked back at your parents. Your mom had an unreadable expression. She seemed to be going through a lot of things in her mind as she processed everything you had just said. You looked at your dad, hoping to get  a better reaction from him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the space between you and Chris, and gave you two the most bone crushing hug possible. He whispered a few words of encouragement to you two before letting go and going back to his seat. 

“I’m so happy for you two. This is such a big step in any relationship and it can be really tricky. You seem to be handling it with grace and I’m really proud of you two. I’m sure you have searched high and low for the perfect home for you two, and I already know its going to be beautiful. I hope that once you are all moved in and settled and are ready for guests, you invite us to spend a couple days up there with you. All I ask is that you make sure the Pats are playing so Chris here can show me how you New Englanders party when they play.” Your dad said, looking at your and Chris with such love and admiration. “Not to push or anything, but I hope this house has some extra bedrooms ready for kids whenever you decide you’re ready for them.” He added. 

You chuckled at your dads comment and wiped some tears that fell from your eyes. “Yes, dad, there are plenty of bedrooms for kids. One of the things on our list was it needed to be family friendly. When you see it, you’ll see how perfect it is for a family. But we’re taking it one step at a time and we’ll talk about kids again when we’re ready.” You assured him. He mumbled good and looked over at your mom, who had been silent the entire time. She looked at you when she realized that all eyes were on her. “Mom, are you going to say something to them?” You’re sister chimed in. 

“I didn’t know you guys were really this serious about each other.” She responded. 

“Well after 2 years together I would hope we were serious about being together.” You smirked. 

“I’m sorry for the shit I was giving you earlier, I was just so scared that you were throwing your life away for some guy you were dating. If I had know the depth of it, I wouldn’t have been so harsh. I should’ve listened to you, Y/N. I was just worried about you and worried that he was going to leave you broken and battered. I’m sorry for not giving you more faith, Chris.” She admitted. You and your mom had both stood up and gave each other a long hug. This was the first time in a long time where your mom had been so genuinely happy for you. There was a big family hug, with Chris included. You joked that he was basically a Y/L/N, referring to the joke he had made to you yesterday. 

“Well I do hope that buying a house together means that a wedding is in sight.” Your mom had whispered in your ear. You shot her a look of ‘ I know right?! ‘ and you gave her another hug. Chris winked at you from across the room when you made eye contact. You send him a loving look and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He returned the look and mouthed ‘I love you too’ back. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heat up. 

~

You had gotten ready for bed before Chris had and was all tucked in and ready to sleep by the time he came up to your room. He had stayed downstairs and helped your parents clean up from dinner while you showered and started to unwind. He saw your body on the bed and assumed you had already fallen asleep. You stared at him as he undressed in front of you and admired his amazing body. He caught you staring and shot you a suggestive look as he turned the lights off and went back to get into bed with you.

“We’re not defiling my childhood room by having sex in here. Plus my mom finally came around to our relationship and my dad probably loves you more than I do, so we can’t risk them hearing us.” You whispered as he pressed his body against yours. Your back was pressed against his bare chest and you gripped his forearms as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You turned your head towards him and pressed a kiss onto his lips. He mumbled ‘I love you so much’ between kisses. 

The love that was flowing between your bodies that night was unreal. You spent all night in his arms, exactly where you belonged. 

[starstuffandalotofcoffee]

You didnt see the guy who runs daily kos saying "im so glad I dont have to fact check speeches now"? You havent seen the harassment leftists have been getting for pointing out Biden is already elevating uber and lyft executives? I guess you already did go back asleep.

I didn’t. I rarely go on Twitter and The Daily Kos blog is not a news source I read often. I was able to find his tweet, and I agree that’s a concern. I hope it was meant as a joke in poor taste about how blatantly and frequently Trump lied to the public and not an intention. I know news outlets of record did fact check Biden consistently throughout the debates, and historically have fact-checked politicians regardless of political party. While I would not, perhaps, extrapolate to the entire millions of people who identify as liberal from a single tweet from a single person, I again agree this is concerning and would prefer people not even joke about it. Twitter is not a good place for reasoned and nuanced political discussion, but even within the limitations it would have been much wiser for him to tweet something along the lines of “so nice to fact check a politician’s speech and not have to call out ten different lies in a single paragraph”.

As for the Lyft and Uber members on the board, that’s also a concern. The California Democratic party opposed proposition 22, which gives Uber and Lyft a concerning amount of power over employees. News articles from mainstream/politically neutral sources such as Reuters have meanwhile pointed out that Biden’s tech transition team includes a large number of tech companies and not as many critics thereof . As mentioned I don’t spend much time if any on Twitter; I’m sure there are disagreements, and I hope you are able to look at a large number of people to see the multiple views present within. I don’t know your exact leftist positions, but I think we can agree that leftism includes a wide number of views - socialism, communism, left-anarchists, all which branch out even further into subdivisions like Marxism or anarcho-primitivism - and that the views of some do not necessarily represent the positions of all.

You seem extremely angry. I can understand that. I remember how I felt in the 2016 election, seeing Trump supporters celebrate what felt like an unlivable loss to me - one that I’m still angry about, and will remain angry about probably for the rest of my life.

I think a lot of people felt angry in a similar way, and I think many of them voted for Biden for that reason. It sounds as though you still feel this unlivable anger - but it sounds like you feel it before Biden has even taken office - less than five days after he was declared president-elect. I suspect you didn’t have any hope that this election would improve things, even slightly, and that sounds like a very depressing place to be.

What I will say, though, is I didn’t message Trump supporters, or search for them on Twitter. I did not, for the most part, spend all my time online jumping on every statement as proof that things would never get better. I looked for ways to mobilize and bring about the change I wanted. And I recognize the way I want to change things - both the results and the method - are probably not the same as yours. I likely want to drastically reform systems you would prefer be torn down entirely. I tend to work through existing avenues of political engagement and peaceful protest, and you may prefer violent revolution. But I think we (both you and I, and more broadly liberals and leftists) both want considerable change, and in many cases in the same direction: that no one goes hungry, or is killed, harmed, or otherwise made unsafe because of their race, gender, sexuality, ability, age, or religion. That there is more to life than working until we die. That the environment is not ruined by humanity’s actions.

I wonder how you hope to accomplish these things.

Right now, liberals - and some leftists (I usually try to distinguish between leftists who do things in the real world and what I call ‘online/very online’ leftists, as a lot of leftist activists participate in elections and protests) have not given up on fighting for what they want. Phone bank slots have filled up for the Georgia runoffs, people are pouring money into causes they support, whether it’s funds for native populations seriously affected by COVID, or abortion access networks, and BLM protests have continued as they have for months. I hope you are not mistaking the first breath many have taken in four years for apathy, and that you allow the people you see as allies the same time to rest amongst the action.

It sounds as though you have given up on anything changing within a week of the mere promise of future change, and that you are looking for ways to feel that pain more online.

Maybe you’re not. Maybe you are taking the time in between the real-world actions you take towards revolution to both extensively check Twitter and Tumblr and send this. Maybe you’ve tried to change hearts and minds all day and have decided I am the one person who you will give up on. I doubt it, but it’s possible, and if that’s the case, this is a long answer and you’ve probably stopped reading. But if you are refreshing Twitter and despairing in an endless loop and are angry at everyone I hope you can get help, and that things get better for you, and you find an outlet for that anger in a way that helps the people you care about.

Feel free to check in at Biden’s inauguration in January; I will check the Daily Kos on that day to see if they maintained the same journalistic standards, since I think we both agree a press that applies critical analysis of the government, regardless of who is in charge, is vital. Take care.

[marshmallowprotection]

🥺🥺 such a simple statement, but u saying u wanna be her friend made my heart djdbsjdvshsb. That makes me so happy!! Im so glad ur enjoying learning about her and the others (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) and sidbsjbdjwhdv u like the banter oms (*≧ω≦*)

Oh my days the spicy taco song. Jaehee is flippin adorable. Although!! I still wanna hear Saeyoung sing it hehehe (*-`ω´- )人

Lmaooo yeah condolences to anyone who deals with her on the daily lets be real here lolol

Oh! Vasyl's power. He's got 2, one genetic, one as a lab experiment (poor baby 🥺). The lab one is draining light, and the genetic one is self-sustainment, where he only has to eat, drink, sleep, etc once every like month or so. I have the specifics somewhere in my notes.

Rigby's a little jealous. Simply put, she hates sleeping. 1 - nightmares. 2 - waste of time. Sometimes her powers are quite literally the only thing keeping her on her feet because she gets so little sleep. She also doesn't eat quite as much as she should, but that's only because she faces the problem that I do: adhd meds suppress our appetite. So we're only really hungry late in the evening until early morning (or whenever we next take our meds). She's got an additional issue: fast metabolism, her body and powers need a lot of energy. I finally estimated she needs about four meals a day at least, but she usually only eats 2 or 3. She loves food but cos of the meds she just forgets to eat.

She sleeps an average of 3 hours a night, sometimes 5 or 6 on a good night, and once in a while 7 or 8 when she's particularly exhausted. But otherwise she avoids sleep like the plague. She's been through some... unpleasant things, mainly as Deviant, and her mind also likes to amplify her fears and insecurities. She also deals with sleep paralysis here and there.

I think a lot of the strong bond with Vasyl comes from the fact that he eventually noticed she she was often awake when he was, and when he found out what was going on, he was like "if u ever need someone to talk to, or if you just wanna come hang out, im here". (Oh btw with her being 22, he's... 15.) And he'll send her a text at like 2am in case she's still up, just something like "u doing ok?" and if shes asleep, no biggie, shes a rather heavy sleeper.

Vasyl and amara are both worried for her, but Rigby has always gotten along better with guys, so she's a little closer to vasyl than to amara. Plus, you know, the whole yin and yang thing.

i think vasyl would like every rfa member in one way or another; especially since it means that his sister finally made more friends goodness gracious lolol. Oh also he's a little naïve with certain things but he's not gullible like yoosung is (lol yoosing get rekt a 15yo is less gullible than u).

[417]

My brain is a bit fried right now but lemme tell ya, I appreciate all the information on them and their universe. There's just so much potential with their universe and they're interchangeable relationships with each other that I don't even know where to start to unpack everything that I enjoy about it! They've got a life to them that makes them feel relatable and excitable in a way that makes you want to learn more about them.

Vasyl is just a sitting duck. I don't think Seven would tease too hard but he can't help it when someone is just so... gullible. It's like a candy trap to that nerd. If anything, at least he's getting a laugh out of it. Yeah, at least Rigby has some friends now and she's not hanging out by herself which is a good thing! Even if that means charity parties.

Boring charity parties.

But hey, sometimes you just wanna have a little fun too so here's hoping there is no family chaos because they've got enough of that to spare, at least these days. If this girl doesn't eat and sleep then she's gonna get a stern talking to by the RFA and if not them.

Me.