I still think about the fact that according to Nora, the man Neil and Kevin watched the Butcher murder in the East tower when they were kids was an assassin who came to murder Riko. And Riko MADE Kevin and Neil watch to send them a message. Especially Neil (you're dad works for ME and I can make him kill you too).
Then at the end of TKM Neil watches with satisfaction as Riko is murdered by his own brother who Neil manipulated into killing him. In the same east tower.
Also Tetsuji who tried to force Neil to bow was forced to bow his own head while his protégé was killed beside him and his exy career and legacy forever diminished.
Neil didn't just beat these guys at Exy is what I'm saying. Then he goes back to his team with a big grin on his face
When Jean thinks this about Neil RIGHT before the game where this all goes down:
"The smile that curved Nathaniel’s mouth was slow and hungry and hateful. It twitched a bit as Nathaniel tried to force it away, but he finally had to use the side of his hand to smooth it off his face. The look he turned on Jean was almost serene, but Jean still saw the madness in his eyes.”
I mean the layers to this are so good, I'm obsessed with the Neil/Nathaniel dynamic that goes on inside Neil
literally no one makes gay characters like neil gaiman. he just wakes up in the morning like "time to make a gay little guy" and then i go look at the guy and i'm like "this is definitely a gay little guy" without fail. truly no one does it like him.
One thing I genuinely think the fandom forgets or underestimates is just how weird Neil is. Like we paint him to be this carismatic, flashy, cocky bad boy, but in reality he's stingy, skittish, balks at anything more personal then his thoughts on Exy and Cannot for the life of him socialize. Like in the Raven King, right after Seth dies, he straight up goes:
"Neil had to patch things up with [Allison] somehow, but he didn't know where to start. He'd never been good at winning people over. Someone like Allison wasn't likely to be his first success. "
Neil's spent his life living on the outskirts of "average" life. Ergo, he's cagey and flighty and so far removed from normal that even among the Foxes he'll always be a little unpredictable and odd. And you know what, good for him; we all deserve an antisocial introverted asshole to raly behind.
Thinking about Carpe Diem and the cinematography of falling leaves to falling snow.
Seasons as cyclical as generations. It's tapestries and banners. It’s photographs on the wall. A structure, a system; tradition in the bones of buildings and boys.
There's a choice to be made - Nolan's hollow, ceremonial Light of Knowledge, or Neil's scavenged, man-made God of the Cave?
They’re children living for the future through a lens of past. Fireside stories embraced by woodland caves. They chant, dance, and recite from a sacred book - the heirloom they claim from a father they chose.
The window is finally open, but time froze at Welton lake. Forever winter. Forever youth. A moment in time, a feeling, a community turned to dust.
It's all so fleeting. Carpe Diem. Teenage years, childhood, a lifetime in three months. It’s a tragedy of classical epics.
The tale is old, but this wound is fresh. Falling to your knees. Shouting at the sky, praying and wailing, and clutching at the earth.
oh, kevin day. i’m sorry they don’t think your trauma was enough because it wasn’t always physical. i’m sorry they mistake your latching onto exy as anything other than a means to keep surviving, and now you can’t unlearn it. i’m sorry you never learned to love something without strings being attached. i’m sorry you have to blame yourself for things that were out of your control. i’m sorry they see your ability to talk to the press as anything other than trained — as necessary — as cruel. i’m sorry you never got to have a father, even when you found him. i’m sorry your narrative has always been haunted by your mother